#asexual first times can be wild

[geekthefreakout]

An Empirical Study of Sex and Efforts by A.Z. Fell (Annotations by A. J. Crowley): Part 1

Rating: Mature. If you're underage, I can't stop you from reading this but like... you shouldn't. Please don't interact with me about it.

Sex, as it happened, was nearly as awkward as actually speaking about feelings was, to Crowley's consternated surprise.

He'd thought that once he and Aziraphale had gotten all the blasted talking out of the way AND had saved the Earth a second time, it would all be easy. Tickety-boo, even.

The kissing had been alright- tremendously so, in fact, once they were both actively participating rather than one desperately begging the other not to leave. Also once they'd worked out the angle and force required to avoid painful clashing of teeth. It had seemed to Crowley that sex would follow- this was how most humans did things, and they both tended to enjoy the human experience.

Only- neither of them quite knew what to do. Aziraphale had thought that Crowley would have experience, what with being a demon and all. Only Crowley'd never been given to *that* sort of temptation. Meanwhile, Crowley had assumed Aziraphale would know what to do. Between the two of them, he was the hedonist, and what the heaven had he been doing in all those "gentleman's clubs" if not this??

(This line of inquiry had led to a long explanation of the history of the gavotte, interspersed with cheerful exclamations of "Never assume, dear! It makes an ass out of you and me!" Crowley had screamed venom into Aziraphale's favorite throw pillow in despair.)

Even so, Crowley had been certain they could figure it out. Aziraphale had shelves of books on the subject, and Crowley, though he lacked personal experience, certainly knew what "sexy" was. Or at the very least, he knew what it wasn't.

Sexy wasn't, he decided, standing buck naked in the cool air of Aziraphale's seldom-used bedroom, staring at themselves in the mirror while debating what sort of Effort they should make. But here they were.

"The trouble is, I'm not sure what I would like best." Aziraphale was saying thoughtfully, stroking his chin. "Anything you choose to manifest, my dear, will be lovely. But there are so many possibilities! So much variety! How does one decide?"

"Humans are usually stuck with the Effort they're born with." Crowley offered, having thrown himself dramatically onto the bed once he realized Aziraphale wasn't going to just pick something without proper discourse.

"Not all of them, though." Aziraphale fretted. "Nowadays they can switch with a surgery to what suits them better. And they enhance what they do have! I've received several emails offering to lengthen my--"

"Don't click on those, angel." Crowley groaned. He had invented the "grow your penis" spam email back in the 90s, and thought himself quite clever for it. "It's all rubbish."

"Well, even so. There are shapes which are more desirable. Combinations that work better. Variety in depth, length, hair, texture, function...." Aziraphale's hands went to his hips as he narrowed his eyes at the reflection of his shapeless groin. "I want to do this right."

"'M not sure there is a right way." Crowley said after a moment. "It's all down to preference, isn't it? Like how you take your tea."

"Perhaps there is not a right way, but there is surely a wrong way. Any way that could hurt you would be wrong." The angel's brow furrowed, and Crowley could tell that he was becoming genuinely frustrated.

"You won't hurt me, angel." Crowley assured, sitting up on the bed. He reached out a hand, and Aziraphale allowed him to take one of his and draw him close. "And I won't hurt you."

"I know you won't, dearest. I just... oh, I just want this to be perfect." Aziraphale sat next to Crowley on the bed now, holding both of his hands. "I have hurt you without meaning to so many times. Now that we have this, I mean to treat it with nothing but the highest regard."

Crowley had to kiss him for that. He let his hands run through his angels feathery curls as he drew him close and kissed him, softly, softly. He drank Aziraphale in the way he drank the finest of wines, caressed his face and shoulders reverently. He let the love he felt for his angel, which he had so often kept boxed away, flow from him freely, and he received Aziraphale's love in turn.

"We've hurt each other." He said softly when they finally broke apart. "But not anymore, yeah? We're just here, being an us."

"Just us," Aziraphale said, pressing his forehead to Crowley's. "And we need to decide how to present for our first time together. First times are important, you know."

"Fine." Crowley sighed. "Look, why don't we just... try all of it? We can each have a turn with each effort. We can even have both, if you like!"

"But our first--"

"Bollocks to 'first'." Crowley said. "Why should our first time mean more than our second or third? You're still playing by the rules, angel. We have as many times as we like. We have time to figure it out."

Aziraphale twisted his lips in one way, then another, clearly stopping himself from arguing about the romance of it all. Finally, he tilted his head, conceding.

"Very well." He hopped up from the bed, oblivious to Crowley leaning in to kiss him again. "We might as well make a proper study of it."

"Study???" Crowley's serpentine eyes widened as Aziraphale made his way to his desk, pulling out a large piece of paper and a marker. "Oh, come on...."

But it was no use- Aziraphale was busily drawing a chart with the marker, his bare bum wiggling as he hummed through his work.

Crowley eventually came up behind him, wrapping his arms around his angel's beloved waist even as he rolled his eyes at the chart he'd drawn up.

"I suppose you're serious about this." Crowley mumbled, pressing a kiss to Aziraphale's pale shoulder.

"You think I'm being silly," Aziraphale pouted.

"You are. But... love when you're silly." Crowley hid his burning cheeks in Aziraphale's neck. "Least you're not listing positions out..."

"Oh, but I could!" Aziraphale said cheerfully. "I'm certain I have a copy of the Kama Sutra in the original Sanskrit- not signed by the author, but still quite original--"

Crowley groaned and squeezed his arms tighter around Aziraphale. The angel turned his head to kiss Crowley's temple.

"Perhaps another time?"

"Hngk." Crowley muttered, intent on kissing the idea out of Aziraphale's head. "I want a cunt first." Crowley declared against his angel's lips, and manifested one with a thought as Aziraphale turned to embrace him fully.

"You-- oh!" Aziraphale flushed as he found himself staring at the mound that had appeared between the demon's legs, the red scales on Crowley's belly giving way to wiry red curls. All thoughts of charts and positions flew from his mind. "I knew you'd be lovely."

"Shut up." Crowley hissed, his hands tight on Aziraphale's shoulders as the angel dipped curious fingers into the folds. "We've got a study to do. Data to gather."

"Quite right, too." Aziraphale said, and kissed him again.

[genderqueerdykes]

after this website decided to attempt to ban porn and ns fw content, it's honestly become a nightmare to navigate as an asexual person w/ sexual trauma. because next to no one uses the mature filter, or tags things as ns fw or even ns ft for fear of having their content or blogs taken down, it means that tumblr has returned to the wild west of random porn flooding your dashboard with next to nothing you can do about attempting to filter it out again

it's not great for a lot of people in general, even outside of asexuality; people with jobs who browse tumblr in their down time, people who have or work with kids, people who spend a lot of time in public, people who are often at religious establishments or events, children and teenagers- there are load of children who lie about their birth date in order to sign up for just about any website ever, the amount of minors are on here is staggering. this is not good many people in general.

as an asexual person with a long history of sexual trauma, i struggle to navigate my dashboard or even certain tags right now. even the act of tagging certain posts will have tumblr suggest 'related' tags that are nsf w even if you are tagging things something simple like "ftm" or "enby" or "butch lesbian". it's great that other people are flourishing and embracing their sexuality, but it comes at the cost of making this website very difficult to browse for asexual people and people with sexual trauma

my heart goes out to the rest of you who are absolutely exhausted and triggered by this. again it's wonderful for the people who enjoy it, but because of how strict the tagging and filtering systems are on this website and how easy it is to get your entire blog deleted just by having a single thing flagged as mature, this website has gotten significantly worse at actually filtering the content they set out to remove in the first place.

[drchucktingle]

favorite author i have never read

hey there buckaroos thank you for all the DEEP DISCUSSIONS we are having a great time here on tumblr. thought today i could make a post that is slightly more difficult its not all sunshine days ahead and requires a little introspection. LOOK AT US we have all arrived here together through trust and love and i think we can keep this going. chuck made this post on other platforms years ago and i think it was said very well then and led to some good discussion, so i am going to repost here. okay lets go deep bud here we go:

i would like to spend moment today talking about common joke i hear online (and even too my face at conventions). this is jokerman way i hear ALL the dang time: 'chuck tingle is my favorite author i have never read' or less jokerman way but of ‘i have never read his books but i love chuck tingle'.

first of all, THANK YOU buds. this is not way of call out post to make you feel bad, i appreciate your way and understand you are trying to support. this is not attack on your message and from bottom of chucks heart THANK YOU.

BUT i have to say something about this. please consider what you are saying when you post this. would you send this as message to STEPHEN KING or NEIL GAIMAN or NK JEMISIN? i doubt this. it would seem VERY RUDE to message other authors. just imagine trotting up to a writer and saying ‘i would NEVER read your books haha’ but it is sent to chuck all the dang time.

obvious reason buds say it to chuck is that i am queer author with a unique way. yes i write in realm of wild fantasy and erotic pairings, but by saying ‘i have never read chuck BUT' you are really saying 'i am posting my support of this but PLEASE DONT THINK I AM REALLY INTERESTED IN THIS PERSONALLY.' there are similar distasteful jokes that i will not repeat involving saying 'no bud on bud pounds' after a sentence that works in similar way.

is sexual art really that bad? is queer art really that embarrassing? is unusual outsider art really that funny?

it is one thing if your preferred pound is not one of chucks tinglers, that is TOTALLY FINE BUD, but if you are an adult i would say 'is it REALLY that scary to read a book about a way of sex that is not yours? is it that difficult to think that something that seems silly to you could actually MOVE YOU in an important way? do you HAVE to disconnect yourself from lgtbqia art with a 'but i don't read this myself?'

keep in mind, there are gay tinglers, there are asexual tinglers, there are trans tinglers, there are select your own timeline tinglers, there are horror tinglers. TINGLERS FOR EVERY TASTE. the thing that buds are often REALLY saying with ‘favorite author i have never read’ is ‘this is WEIRD and dont be confused because im NOT WEIRD IM COOL DONT THINK I ACTUALLY LIKE THIS’. funny enough even the proudly fun and wild and unique buckaroos will STILL say this line, maybe without taking time to think of what it means or how rude it is?

WHY would you never read a chuck book? because my way is queer? because it is neurodivergent? even if that is not there reason or even if YOUR ARE ALSO PERSONALLY QUEER AND NEURODIVERGENT TOO, think about what the joke is IMPLYING.

is sincerely enjoying something thats kind of unusual that difficult? do we really have to slather it in irony and ‘so bad its good?’ before reposting?

in closing as man name of chuck i will say you can still make this joke if you want buckaroos i know you are just having a good time proving love in your own way. i am not upset with you bud and i appreciate your support in any way you give it. there are some buckaroos who just CANT AFFORD tinglers and that is an important way i understand as well. obviously this conversation does not apply to those buds. but for the rest of us trotting along, MAYBE think about what you are really saying with this jokerman way first, and MAYBE try cracking open a tingler because you might be surprised. its not that scary bud. thank you for listening

being sincere is VERY COOL and VERY PUNK ROCK. i encourage all buckaroos out there to give it a try.

LOVE IS REAL

[darkinfinity]

Happy 28th! This list shouldn't be as long as it is since I had all my exams this month, but here we are! Here are all the fics I read and enjoyed this month, sorted by word count!

🍸Of sunshines and sweethearts by tippitytap (series, 184k)

When Louis meets Harry for the first time, the interaction is over before Louis can even get a sentence out.

When Harry runs into Louis for a second time, he gets asked out on a date instead of getting yelled at for being so careless.

Who could have guessed that two simple uni-students going on dates in the dark and making out against pillars in tube stations were both carrying the burdens of their family on their shoulders? And: Could the weight of those possibly get lighter if they help carry each other’s?

🍸Playin’ it safe and breakin’ the rules by @local-troubled-writer (M, 90k)

or the One Where Maybe this Fake Relationship Gets a Little Too Real.

🍸War of hearts by @boosbabycakes28 (E, 80k)

They are the bane of each other's existence, they never pass off an opportunity to remind the other of how annoying they are. Who would have thought that polar opposites could compliment each other so well?

A story about two boys, one looking for patience and trying to be strong enough to stand up for himself, and one struggling with self-discovery and strength, where facts, reality and becomings hit him in the face, and suddenly, everything that's ever been important to him is in play.

🍸The nation's sweethart by Snowy38 (E, 77k)

In limped a graceful giant; slim bodied but broad shouldered with thick thighs. Harry's hair was a little wild where it had grown out of it's usually boyish short style.

For some reason Louis' fingers flexed, as if wanting to course through the flicks in the bottom of his rich brown hair.

It had been curly once. Louis had seen pictures of him innocent with wide green eyes and a wider, bright white, toothy grin. Everything about him screamed privilege.

Louis wondered if he knew he'd only taken this job to stop him losing his flat.

🍸What I have with you (I don't want with anyone else) by @lululawrence (NR, 73k)

Or Louis is an asexual alpha, Harry is his aromantic alpha friend and possible roommate, and faking a relationship might be exactly what they need to get their families and friends off their backs.

🍸The cottage by @holdingontochaos(E, 70k)

Louis hates alphas and he has good reason to, but when his beloved omega grandmother dies, and he inherits her cottage, he meets Harry, an alpha hazelnut farmer who sneaks his way into Louis’ life.

While Louis struggles with his severe touch deprivation, he forms a friendship with Harry that turns out to be exactly what he needed.

Or Louis has severe touch deprivation and Harry has a hazelnut farm.

🍸Hooked with just one taste by @dinosaursmate (E, 48k)

Louis' flatmate introduces him to camming and suddenly, a whole new world is opened up to him: tips, gifts, and lots of admirers. He takes to it like a duck to water and strikes up a strange sort of friendship with a rather secretive lad calling himself BabyHoney, who seems to have more money than sense.

🍸A frail farewell by @all-these-larrythings (M, 44k)

Louis can’t believe his luck when he is offered one of the easiest jobs he has had as a long-term house-sitter for the wealthy. He loves the money, and the peace and quiet of the empty mansions he looks after. Most of all he likes that there are no surprises until he gets the shock of his life from ex-pop star Harry Styles who isn’t supposed to be home.

🍸My hands at risk, I fold by @yourgorgeouscolors28 (E, 43k)

"Sometimes, when Louis first wakes up, he thinks he’s back in the hospital, and panic hits him."

Or, Harry is a famous popstar, Louis is a famous football player and one injury changes everything.

🍸now i think that i could love you back by maroonmoonlouis (E, 42k)

Or, the one where Omega Prince Louis is thrown a Courting Ceremony. A weekend full of competition ensues for his hand in marriage. As if he’s not already stressed about choosing his future Mate in three days, it’s just his luck that his enemy, Alpha Prince Harry has decided to partake as well.

🍸And when it rains, you're shining down on me by martisgotaproblem (NR, 37k)

“This is Harry, he’ll be your patient,” Liam gestured politely.

Harry froze when Louis’ eyes met his own once more. He felt himself getting lost in those eyes, so much so that he didn’t notice Niall and Liam leaving the room quietly but the sound of the door shutting behind them brought him out of the trance.

“Hello, I’m Louis,” the omega said, extending his hand for Harry to shake. The alpha could still sense some nervousness in his stance but decided to ignore it.

“’m Harry.”

Or the one where Harry is a grumpy boxer who gets injured and Louis is the lovely physiotherapist hired to help him, but getting pregnant wasn’t exactly in his recovery plan.

🍸A hungry heart by @jacaranda-bloom (E, 27k)

Harry Styles, florist and Great British Bake Off contestant, loves many things. He loves his flower shop, he loves baking, and there’s also that little crush he has on pop star Louis Tomlinson.

But when Louis arrives on set as the surprise guest judge, Harry’s worlds collide. Throw in a cup of cuteness, a teaspoon of teasing, and a pinch of pining, and there’s all the ingredients for an epic love story, or absolute chaos.

Or the one where the Bake Off tent has never been so hot, and it’s got nothing to do with what’s in the ovens.

🍸Iron hearts, fire souls by @getmesometacos (E, 26k)

Or the one where Harry and Louis are two single and unmated Lawyer Alphas that have to share an office and even though they shouldn't be that attracted to each other's scents, it sure isn't a big deal, right? I mean, what could go wrong?

🍸Take me down slow (don't let me go) by @jacaranda-bloom (E, 26k)

Louis has always felt different. Not necessarily on the outer realm of societal norms, but pretty damn close to the edge. As an Omega, he’s supposed to want certain things; to want to raise a family, to want to build a life with a partner, and to want that partner to be an Alpha.

Well, two out of three ain’t bad.

OR the one where Louis wants to find the right kind of partner to love, Niall hates snowboarding, Liam wants to settle down, Harry is really good with his hands, and mother nature could be the thing that changes everything.

🍸Sugar, sugar by @parmahamlarrie (E, 25k)

Meeting your soulmate was the most joyous event of one’s life… or at least, it’s supposed to be. Harry, in all of his 25 year old wisdom, was suspicious of the role fate plays in everyone's lives. He'd rather focus his time dating older men he meets off of a sugar baby website.

Louis isn’t waiting with bated breath for his soulmate either. He has more important things to worry about than love. Mainly, his career as a writer, publishing under a pseudonym. He spends most of the year buried under research and manuscripts, taking as much time as he would like, much to his publishers' chagrin. After receiving many millions after the death of his Aunt Ethel when he was young, he technically never has to work again. As far as soulmates go, he figures if it happens, he will be so old that he’ll be stuck in his ways. Or he’ll have grey eyes forever, he doesn’t fucking care. He can get his needs met through a sugar baby website.

Or… The Sugar baby soulmate AU

🍸Tossing round like coins by @letthemusicmoveyou28 (E, 25k)

“No, no it’s fine.” Louis rubs the back of his neck a little awkwardly. “I guess I’m just not used to hearing another alpha talking about taking a knot is all. You caught me off guard a bit, but I don’t mind.”

Harrys look of embarrassment soon morphs into a smirk. “Not a lot of knot talk in the locker rooms then?”

Louis laughs. “Oh yeah there is. But it’s more like arguments over whose is bigger and that.” He schools his face into what he hopes is an over exaggerated, self-righteous expression. “But not me of course, because I’m proper evolved.”

Harry snorts out a laugh. “Of course you are.”

(Or the one where Louis is an alpha who does manly alpha things like play professional football and lift weights at the gym, where he meets alpha Harry who wears nail polish and dates other alphas. Louis isn’t put off by Harry’s strange tendencies, more like intrigued. And maybe just maybe, he’s interested).

🍸Bend like a hairpin by @letthemusicmoveyou28 (M, 25k)

Or the one where FBI agent Harry Styles screws up in a mission and he has one more chance to save his career. He’s going undercover as a stripper to investigate a strip club suspected of money laundering. There’s just 2 problems: 1) Harry can’t dance, and 2) he might be falling for the club’s owner Louis, who just happens to be the prime suspect.

🍸Because sparrows mate for life by @builtyouahousefromabrokenhome (E, 24k)

Harry’s tattoo gets done all wrong, and he needs someone to fix it.

🍸On a starlit night by @lunarheslwt (M, 24k)

Or, omega and future Luna Louis is holding a mating ceremony to find his mate, but what he doesn’t expect to see amongst the alphas vying for his hand, is a familiar, yet unexpected face: Harry Styles.

🍸The laundry room incident by corrinebailey (E, 23k)

Or the one where Louis doesn't make the best first impression with his new neighbor, and then continues to keep screwing everything up while simultaneously falling for him

i.e: Louis’ fucked

🍸Suddenly they're right by sapphichug (E, 22k)

Louis is a painting professor with an art block the size of Texas and a global superstar for a non-boyfriend, who he wants to keep.

a fic about feeling stuck and learning to free oneself

🍸Everywhere, everything by corrinebailey (E, 21k)

Or the one where Louis has been a farmer for the past decade, his sisters are rightfully worried about his sanity, and Harry swoops in to bring Louis back to life

🍸Frightened by the bite, no harsher than the bark by @voulezloux (T, 21k)

louis loves going to the barricade during his shows. if it’s because he’s got a bit (lot) of touch deprivation and is using it as an excuse to have his big alpha bodyguard, harry, touch him, well, that’s a secret he doesn’t need to tell.

🍸The prophecy by HoPotato (E, 18k)

CEO of Empyrean, Louis Tomlinson should have all that he can wish for. After inheriting his mother's company, everyone might think the most eligible alpha cannot wish for anything else but in reality he lives in a glass cage, crushing under the weight of dreams that aren't his and the ghoul of the life he never had. What changes everything for him is a simple resignation letter from his personal assistant on his desk on one fine morning.

🍸You are the fever (What a lovely way to burn!) by @yoursolosong (E, 18k)

Harry is an alpha who realizes he’s also into alphas and wants to be submissive. He battles between his instincts and what he wants.

🍸Lost but won by @2tiedships2 (NR, 16k)

When Harry loses his passport after a weekend trip to see Niall, the inconvenience of being stranded in America becomes a little more bearable after meeting Louis. Or a lot more bearable.

🍸Hold you with my hands tied by @letthemusicmoveyou28 (series, 16k)

Or the one where Omega Harry loses his bakery job and is forced to take a temporary position bartending at a local BDSM club. It turns out to be not so bad. Especially when he catches the eye of the owner Louis, who also happens to be a gorgeous Alpha.

🍸Just one look (and i fell so hard) by @disgruntledkittenface (M, 15k)

Harry has wanted to go to the Shubert Theatre ever since he moved to New York and lucked into a rent-controlled apartment just outside of the Theatre District. When he finally gets his chance, he hopes the night can meet his sky-high expectations. But the last thing he could have expected was the man seated next to him.

🍸We chase the stars to lose our shadow by 5secsoflarry (E, 15k)

Insomniac and someone professionally cuddling with them to fall asleep....They fall in love.

🍸Blue eyes and cigarette smoke by corrinebailey (E, 14k)

There he was, all dark clothes and vans- the embodiment of cigarette smoke and deep cologne, and Harry wanted nothing more than to bury his hands into that hoodie. He wanted to breathe him in and feel that stubble against his hands. He wanted to feel those pink lips pressed to his damp skin- he craved it so much he was light headed, could feel the haziness fog his head as he tried to meet his eyes. Tried to will deep blue eyes to meet his own.

Or the one where Harry wants his perfect meet cute, wants to meet his soulmate in the way fate intended, which is why the brunette with stormy eyes and a cigarette dangling between his fingers could not possibly be the one.

🍸High heels on, 'm feeling the love by @thebreadvansstuff (M, 14k)

Harry hears the click of the camera snapping his picture and decides to throw his head back for the next one. He cocks his hip a bit to create the illusion of curves and proudly shows the too-small high heels. He decides to go with the classic pose, hand above his hip bone and leg bent back.

The moment he lifts his leg behind himself, the heel comes in contact with hard metal and makes a screeching sound as it drags upwards. Harry jumps around to see a long scratch going up the passenger door of the car behind him, and slaps his open mouth with a hand. "Oh no."

Or, Harry damages a car when drunkenly stumbling home after a fun night out with his friends. Feeling horribly guilty, he tries to find the owner and make it up to him.

🍸You just be yourself by @lululawrence (NR, 13k)

“Thanks, Mom.”

Louis’ breath was knocked right out of him at those words, and Grey froze. They then immediately pulled out of Louis’ arms and scurried out of sight before either Harry or Louis could respond.

“Shit,” Harry cursed quietly, looking between Louis and where Grey had disappeared.

“I…” Louis blinked and looked down at the boxes still scattered on the floor. By the time he had gathered them back up, Harry was also gone.

Or five times Harry's daughter claims Louis as her mother, and one time Louis claims them both as his too.

🍸The capillaries in my eyes are bursting by 5secsoflarry (E, 13k)

Medieval times where King Louis is in a near death accident and enters a coma. The royal doctor says they have two weeks to find Louis’ true soulmate (omega) or he dies.

🍸I'll call you mine by @kenniewen (T, 13k)

"Harry isn’t superstitious, doesn’t knock on wood, or wish on shooting stars, but his position on ‘love at first sight’ becomes increasingly wishy-washy as his mind begins to comprehend blue, blue, blue. He feels his heart constrict and tongue go dry. The man before him is the most beautiful omega he has ever seen in his entire life."

Or: A self indulgent Omega/Omega fic with a teacher/single parent of favorite student trope.

🍸The checkout by @silverstuff50 (E, 12k)

Omega Harry is a bit obsessed with one of the workers at the small supermarket around the corner from his flat. The problem is, it's the place where Harry goes for last minute items and emergencies, so the Alpha (Louis) always sees him buy embarrassing things.

🍸Safe place to hide us away by @lunarheslwt (T, 12k)

Or, weighed down by everyday stress, alpha Harry takes up nesting in secret. It takes a load of missing clothes and unravelling lies for him to realise that his omega would love and accept him no matter what.

🍸I'm sticking around by @tommokat (T, 10k)

The pompous alpha beside him huffs, breaking Louis' concentration on what feels like his future running towards him and suddenly the reality of the situation falls on him: Louis is romantically interested in Harry. Harry’s son is on Louis' soccer team. And while Harry’s son is on Louis’ soccer team, his romantic interest cannot be acted upon.

🍸Louis and the very terrible, no good sleep by @nooradeservedbetter (E, 10k)

Louis had always been used to sleeping in a puppy pile back home. It was something that just happened, with all of his siblings being omegas, they just ended up in a giant nest all together, and Louis loved to cuddle in the warmth, and breathe in the familiar scent of home. He hadn’t thought much about it when, after graduating from the local uni, he got a job offer in Brighton and had to leave the family den.

Or, Louis is insomniac. Follow him in his quest to fall asleep.

🍸Nerd or (k)not? by @super--noah (E, 10k)

Harry had instantly fallen for Louis the first time the met. He was exactly Harry's type, nerdy looking with big glasses slipping down his nose. In truth Louis is a massive nerd and he's not ashamed to admit it, but that doesn't mean he can't stand up for himself or that he spends all his time with his nose in books. He only spends about half his time like that, the other half is spent playing football, not that anyone knows.

Harry's friend Sammy tries to get with Louis at a party, but he turns her down, leading her to spread rumours about his abilities in bed and the size of his dick. Harry's friend group bully him relentlessly about this rumour. When Harry is bet that he can't stop sleeping around for a week otherwise he has to sleep with Louis it's all to much for Harry. He confesses to Louis, leading them to a deeper understanding of who they are to each other.

It turns out Harry's friends are terrible people and that having sex with Louis is far from a punishment.

🍸I’ve been watching you all night by tommosgotabangerr (M, 9k)

Based on the @/larryffprompts Prompt #2999: Harry’s family is in a restaurant and there is this waiter serving the family and Harry tells Gemma that he thinks he is cute. When the family’s drinks are served, his mother says “My son thinks you are cute”. Harry screams “Noooo mum”, blushes horribly, and sinks under the table. The waiter laughs and thanks him for the compliment. Before the family leaves the restaurant, the waiter comes up to Harry and introduces himself. Louis then gives him his number.

🍸It's all my love (you got all my love) by tippitytap (T, 8k)

Sometimes, he realised how he truly didn’t deserve an alpha this good and patient and understanding and loving. He had no clue how Louis had bagged him, how Harry had wanted to mate with him, let alone raise pups together. Still, here they were, with Harry being the perfect lover and Louis crying in the streets about a little pumpkin. The fact Eli had baked little cakes in the shape of pumpkins that morning didn’t make anything better for Louis’ emotional state, but at the very least he got to sit down with Harry for a minute and devour one together, mumbling his apologies into the alpha’s neck.

A pumpkin-filled (literally), fluffy one-shot.

🍸Little love by @sunflouervol-6 (NR, 8k)

L & H are FBI/CIA/MI6/whatever agents and best friends. L goes on a mission without H (they’re partners, so they usually go together) and he doesn’t return. 2 yrs later he returns to the agency after escaping from wherever he was (maybe he was kidnapped, experimented on, etc., can be up to the author!). H tries to get L to talk about why he was gone/what he went through, but L isn’t ready. They continue to go on missions, but L is falling apart.

🍸Take my hand, Dumbass by @londonfoginacup (G, 5k)

There's only alpha dorms at university, and Louis Tomlinson, omega, refuses to pay the exorbitant fees to live off campus. So, four years pretending to be an alpha it is! That'll be easy.

And maybe it would be easy, if not for the depri and the annoying alpha roommate and the fact that Louis is, honestly, a bit too stubborn for his own good.

🍸Body stay vicious by @letthemusicmoveyou28 (E, 5k)

Or the one where Harry is feeling himself in the gym and gets a little carried away. Of course his gym crush just happens to walk in. They work it out.

🍸If you let me by hssatellite28 (E, 5k)

Louis' gone on a work trip and Harry is...desperate.

A phone sex one shot

🍸I want your midnights (you and me forevermore) by loha28 (G, 3k)

Just as he spots Gemma and Michal, holding hands and chatting with their faces close, Harry feels a little tug on his sleeve. When he looks down, he has to do his absolute best not to tear up at the little girl with tears streaking down her face.

Without a second thought, Harry squats down in front of her and reaches out for her hand. “Hey, hey sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Harry asks, a lick of panic running through his voice. All the girl does is sniffle. “Where are your parents?” Harry adds, looking over her head for anyone searching for someone.

When he looks back at her, he finds her lower lip wobbling before she breaks out in a big cry. “I can’t find them!” She wails, collapsing on Harry's chest and wrapping her arms around his neck.

🍸(on the edge until) you pull me in by @justanothershadeofblue (E, 3k)

Louis brings his hands up to rub at his eyes. The light from the streetlight is painting his room in pale halogen yellow and grey. A car zips by in the night, the sound of tires across damp asphalt a comforting constant.

He sets aside the details, and imagines it again. A faceless man. A rich one. Gay, also, obviously, or at least queer. Maybe he’d have a nice voice, Louis always did like a nice voice. Deep, maybe slow and deliberate to contrast with Louis’ own tendency toward high-pitched chattering.

He’d have to smell good, Louis’s always been picky about how his dates smelled. Not that he’s had all that many in the first place, but it’s something he’s always cared about. A full head of hair, too, that’s important. Maybe some curls.

Louis lets a hand run down his chest. His dick is not about to fall off, thank you very much, Niall, but it has been a while since he’s had time for a wank. He doesn’t really have time now – he’s got to get up in three and half hours and get breakfast, but oh well. It’ll feel good enough to be worth the extra lost sleep.

🍸Figure this out by @haztobegood (E, 2k)

Louis is everything Harry could have imagined when he’d typed “silver fox enthusiast” into his Grindr profile. Too bad he's probably scared Louis off by giving him too many expensive gifts.

🍸On love's doorstep by @hellolovers13 (T, 1k)

Harry Styles: a day in the life

☑ Stuck in a dress ☑ Abandoned by his best friend ☑ Date with hot neighbour

All in all, not the worst day ever

🍸miles away from seeing you by @loveislarryislove (T, 1k)

Harry is in his final year studying marine biology, and is doing an international exchange at the University of Auckland. His boyfriend Louis stays behind in England, but they keep in touch regularly through texts, snapchats, video calls, and more.

This fic is entirely told through images of social media posts and conversations. Image descriptions are available in the second chapter.

🍸Rainy days, new adventures by @greenblueish (G, 1k)

After a bad day, Louis decides to take a walk in the park where he meets a special man with a special little companion.

[alanaartdream]

1st off I have to say I LoVe ❤️ @cubbihue itty bitties fairly odd parents Au as well as @jessadamsdraws the Deal fairly odd parents AU

That i wanted to add my fairly odd parents Fairy Oc to their au’s

But to do that I’m gonna have to explain about who my Fairy oc Felicity

Well she was a human child when British were sending Convicts to Australia between 1788-1868

She was a child excuse at stealing food and was given a choice of going to overcrowded prison or being sent to Australia 🇦🇺 at the time (she chose Australia)

She then got Jorgen’s Nana Boom boom as her godmother who was only one who seemed to care for her and support her creative talents so when she wished she was a real fairy and could live with Nana Boom boom and she was raised by nana boom boom to become the Fairy of the creative arts and records keeping (she gets to work with Father Time to make sure the records are up to snuff and no fake information is in them) but most fairies know her for helping to inspire humans & fairies alike in art and tend to forget she holds records for all their histories until fairy Timmy or Lawyer Timmy realises they need to look back on records of evens to help with keeping the Da Rules from having too many loopholes or where it could maybe need to change some rules to better help fairy world as a hold ( or to help beat the pixies & anti fairies from taking over fairy world)

She will be a little star struck when she 1st meets Timmy Cosmo Wanda and Peri because she has all the records of when they saved the universe and fairy world (also she hates Timmy’s parents; cocker and Vicky being as she has all the records of how they treated Timmy Wanda Cosmo and even peri and will be herd complaining how humans could ignore all that abuse they put a CHILD through is beyond her) she’ll also be Hazel’s fan because she saved Fairy World from anti fairies (she most likely ask for them to sign her autograph book) Jorgen will be confused on finding out he’s a little related to her through Nana Boom boom adoption of her back in 1788

She loves all animals but cats (big and small so going from your house cat to wild lions)

Watching history documentaries or cat ones

Art and craft shows

And anything that’s art related

She’s always got a paint brush and a pencil stuck in her very very curly hair with cat & flower shaped hair clips and her wand looks like a big pencil with a star ⭐️ on top of it

(Oh and she’s asexual)

If she’s In the Itty Bitties AU

I think she’s a pixie fairy but the only girl one being as in the original show all the pixies were all male or appear to be (didn’t see a single female one in that bunch at all) but being as so many see her as the Artist fairy not many realise she’s a pixie fairy at all so don’t bother to tell her she’s supposed to wear the grey uniforms but then when they realise she is one and has been keeping records for EVERYTHING in fairy world they do Attempt to get her to wear grey uniforms but realise the uniforms were not designed for a female pixie being as it would seem a vast majority of them are male so then give up trying to get her to wear the grey uniforms so then fairy Timmy by that gets to keep his pink outfit being as A) he’s a great worker on keeping the da rule up to date and B) being as he’s related to both Jorgen and like felicity was once human they just have to let it slide being as he was the only one who figure out Felicity was the only fairy who was keeping track of all of fairies records

In the Deal au Timmy has grown up to be a pretty good lawyer and when he has to save fairy world pixies trying to take over with anti fairies because Felicity’s anti fairy likes to keep track of what people did wrong so she can backstab people with that information or find loopholes to get anti fairies to get their way; So of course Timmy will ask for all of fairy world’s records so he can defend fairies against them at first most fairies don’t know who’s been keeping the records for them so hazel steps in and wishes for fairy who keeps track of all of fairy world’s records and Felicity appears has a bit of a excited to see lawyer Timmy rambling until her anti fairy starts pointing out all the bad things Timmy did and then of course She starts telling her anti fairy off and listings down all the good Timmy Turner did with Wanda Cosmo and peri while all the other fairies are gasping in surprise over finding out she’s not just the Arts fairy

And that’s just what I’ve gotten down so far and I really need to go to bed I’m work later

[highabovethecloudssomewhere]

Bi-Yearly Book Catalogue (2024)

Every book I’ve read the past six months and what I thought, told as briefly as I can manage.

One Star Books:

Loveless by Alice Oseman

I understand that this book was helpful for a lot of people. It was the opposite of helpful for me.

The Midnight Library by Matt Haig

My gripes with this can be whittled down into: this writer does not understand depression but really, really wants to cure it. Also, if you do decide to give this book a try, please mind the subject material. It really, really isn’t for everyone.

Two Star Books:

N/A

Three Star Books:

A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman

A simple book about an old man learning to want to live again. Where ‘The Midnight Library’ failed for me, this one succeeded. If you plan to read this one, be mindful of the content warnings. It also isn’t for everyone.

Lily and the Octopus by Steven Rowely

It’s about a dog who has cancer. I think that says it all. There were parts of this book I really liked and parts I really didn’t like. It lost me halfway through and I stopped caring about the stakes, which is really upsetting when the stakes are a dog. But the good parts are really, really good. Just be mindful of the premise going into it.

In the Lives of Puppets by TJ Klune

I liked the character work, loved the world building and on a technical level the writing was well-done. My gripes have to do with the story’s internal contradictions and how the only character traits I can think of for the main character are “asexual” and “inventor,” neither of which are explored properly (emphasis on asexual here). I didn’t like that despite being 21, the main character was narratively treated like a child, often involving his sexuality. I had to google how old he was multiple times because I couldn’t believe he wasn’t in his mid-teens given how he reacted to the story and how the story treated him. Loved the writing on a technical level, though, and I do plan to read more from this author.

Four Star Books:

Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree

A COFFEE shop AU? In MY high fantasy? If you like DnD, low-stakes high-fantasy and fun character work, give this one a read. It’s very cozy.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers

It’s a book about a nonbinary tea monk and a robot who lives in the mountains. Slow-paced with good vibes and great world building. I read it in an evening and came away from it feeling warm.

The Song of Achilles by Madeline Miller

Achilles and Patroclus’ relationship breaks my heart again. This was incredibly well-written and appropriately devastating. I just wanted them to be happy.

Countdown to Countdown by Kong Xiao Tong (graphic novel)

I bought a physical copy of this because I’ve always loved the artist’s work and wanted to support, and I enjoyed it a LOT. Beautiful art, fantastic characters. I know not everyone can avoid a physical copy, but the webcomic is available to read for free online and I highly recommend giving it a try.

Our Dining Table by Ori Mita (manga)

Learning to enjoy mealtime with loved ones again after childhood trauma? Y’all. It’s a single-volume manga and it’s well worth your time.

Five Star Books:

Beartown by Fredrik Backman

This was the most devastating book I’ve ever read. If you are interested in reading it: find a list of content warnings first. I went in blind. It is hauntingly real and the author handled the material so, so well. I can’t recommend this book without that caveat. But it’s one of the best-written books I’ve read.

The Saturday Night Ghost Club by Craig Davidson

This book is about a man looking back on his life as a boy - the friends he made and the misadventurous ghost-hunts his uncle dragged them into. It’s just the right amount of campy with fun characters and a brilliant use of prose. If you’re a less experienced reader and want a book that is easily digestible while also being extraordinarily well-written, I’d recommend this book in a heartbeat, and it’s every bit as entertaining for more advanced readers.

What you are looking for is in the library by Aoyama Michiko

Five stories about five people, all in different stages of life, and their unique experiences with the same librarian and the same library. Individually, each character in each story has their unsatisfying lives changed in an unexpectedly simple way, thanks to the library. There’s nothing wild about this book, but it is wildly impactful. The library is for everyone!

Tress of the Emerald Sea by Brandon Sanderson

Heroine travels the treacherous seas to save the man she loves. It’s a book about perspectives and joy and making unlikely friends, breaking curses through clever means and never, ever giving up. It has all the whimsy of a classic fairytale, yet not once could I predict how it was going to end. It’s fast-paced and hard to put down. The world is intriguing and the characters are wonderful.

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

This book is utterly mind-bending and I loved it. Two time-travelers chase each other through reality on opposing sides of the Time War and gradually fall in love. It’s great. The biggest complaint I see leveled at this book comes from less experienced readers who struggle to follow the narrative - and I do agree, if you’re just getting into reading for fun this might be a book to save for later. But don’t let me stop you. I loved this book.

Conclusion:

Reading is great. Libraries are your friend. I always love book recommendations and I’m on GoodReads as BeyondTheClouds777, predictably. If any of y’all take a stab at these books (or have taken stabs in the past), I’d love to hear your thoughts! I’m back in my bookworm era and thriving.

[selfidentifiednerdyprude]

Once again thinking about how we don't have a culture.

The possibility of an aroace existence is never offered to us. From birth, everyone around us assumes that we will one day feel typical attraction. They imagine helping us plan our weddings. They imagine grandkids. They imagine all the milestones in a row. And if we're very lucky, they open themselves to the possibility of these things happening with someone of our assigned gender instead of someone of the other one.

These milestones— romance, sex, marriage, children— are a when, not an if. From the beginning, we're given no space to imagine our future. So many of our problems would be solved by that little word. If. If leaves space for the possibility of refusal. Refusal leaves space for the possibility of other options.

I've tried to study history to prove that we've always existed. And the first 100 years of it is medical journals. When we were first acknowledged to exist, it was as a disease. We don't have an Oscar Wilde or a Virginia Woolf or an Elgabalus, any prominent figure from the distant past that we can point to and say "we have always been here". How would we? It's so hard to prove a negative, until you want to say someone has something wrong with them.

Sherronda J. Brown makes a compelling case for Octavia Butler. They talk about how we're afraid to read our heroes of the past asexually, and how it could be liberating to imagine them as such. But if I'm honest, imagining the past in any particular way isn't helpful to me. The past can't be changed. Even if Octavia Butler had an experience that resembled mine externally, projecting my internal subjectivity onto her or anyone else just feels deeply wrong to me. I want to imagine the future so we might create it for ourselves.

A great epistemological injustice has been committed against us and we are prisoners in our own minds. We stand a chance at escaping this prison through art and literature and scholarship made by and for us, visions of the lives we can create with one another in opposition to the normative script we've been sold. There comes a time where we must move from addressing the rest of the world and hoping they deign to listen, to addressing each other as equals and allies in the same fight.

[lennadanvers]

Seven Minutes in Hell

Uni Student!Eddie x Asexual!Reader

A/N: One day left of the Ace Week and I finally finished this (kinda sorta, in the way that I can't and I won't keep adding to it, or editing it or rewriting it). I'm completely burned out, my back hurts and I lowkey hate how this turned out- there's so much dialogue and I read it so many times I just think it's bad now. However, since I put so much effort into it, and since I want Eddie to be with an ace reader, I'm posting it anyway. Please be nice, because I've been in a crisis for over a week and I will cry if you're mean. Also, this is terribly long compared with my usual works. Idk.

NOTE: The Reader is asexual. No, there is no use of the word "asexual" here, because it's not needed for a character to be ace. No, the Reader doesn't explain/teach to others what it means to be ace- they just voice their boundaries. Asexual is someone who feels little to no sexual attraction (and you can use it either as an umbrella term or a micro label- please investigate more if you feel like it! It's a very interesting topic and you can learn a lot!). Being asexual doesn't equal to being aromantic: an asexual can still feel romantic attraction. Also, asexuality looks different for everybody- some aces may be okay with kissing but not sex, for example. This Reader isn't okay with either. I hope you enjoy the fic! Happy Ace Week!!

Okay, this was a very bad idea and you should have realized sooner.

In your defense, life this far from your hometown is… different. Lonely. In Hawkins, everyone knew everyone. You had a safety net all the time. Maybe you weren’t friends with everybody- but you were friendly with most, at least.

Here, on the other hand, you are alone. Big city, small-town girl… a sad combination. You’re barely learning how to survive. None of the skills you had acquired at home are useful here. For God’s sake, you can’t even bike to the store- you have to take the subway.

One good thing about the city, though, is the variety. When you first came here, the thing that seemed the most exiting was how open people were about themselves.

They’re just not that friendly, though. No in a deeper level, at least. They are, however, very active. Lots of parties, concerts, bars and nights out. The girls in your dorm are unable to sleep during the night, apparently.

And if you want to fit in with them, you have to at least attend a party once in a while.

That’s what brought you here. You start to question if it’s worth it, though, when Lindsay- redhead, loud, flirty Lindsay- grabs you by the waist and starts dragging you across the room. She’s nice, but she’s… different. She goes out with a different boy every Friday, and brings another one to her dorm room every Saturday. It’s really not your business, and it seems to make her happy, so you simply steer away from her business.

It's not that it bothers you. You just don’t get it. Well, not in practice. In theory, it makes sense. But when you picture yourself in her place… It’s uncomfortable. Weird. Foreign. You’re happy she’s happy this way- it’s just not for you.

She doesn’t feel the same way.

You see the circle of people too late, take too long to come up with an excuse; and before you can stop her, she’s announced you’re playing Seven Minutes in Heaven.

You’ve never taken part in things like this. Never wanted to. Now everyone is looking at you, and you’re just too uncomfortable to run away, even if what you want the most is to disappear. Lindsay goes over the rules. You look around for a way out. Maybe a fire alarm will be waiting for you.

That’s when you see him. A curious pair of puppy eyes, a wild mane of hair and an unmistakable rockstar vibe.

Eddie Munson.

This has to be a nightmare. You remember him from Hawkins High- how could you not? He was always so loud an opinionated, so funny and charming, so… So different from everyone else. It was hard not to notice him in the hallways, but that wasn’t the reason you were always looking for him. See, he had- still has, now that you’re face to face again- something that draws you to him. Something in his smile, in the way he moves his hands, so confident, so in display, like the world is a stage and he’s the main character.

And you’ve always felt like the audience, an external observer, the witness to other people’s stories.

Until now, that Eddie Munson is in the same city- the same party, the same room, the same group of people- as you, far away from the hellhole that is Hawkins. Until now, that he’s staring at you, just as surprised, but a little less terrified. Until now, that Eddie looks like he’s expecting something from you. You’re sure your clueless expression is what makes him smile shily and look down at the floor, where an empty beer bottle points straight at you.

Dread washes over you as people start to cheer. Eddie chuckles and stands up. Lindsay grabs you by the arm- who knew that a girl this petite could be so strong? – and drags you to an empty closet.

Only when the door slams behind you, muffling out the music and noise from the party, you realize what happened.

You’re alone, in the dark, with Eddie Munson.

Trapped in a tiny space for the next eternity (seven minutes). And he’s cute, taller than you remember, and he smells nice. And he’s probably expecting something from you. Something like a kiss. Or more.

And you, for the love of God, do not want a kiss. You want him to be pretty and funny and at a safe distance from you.

The silence is overwhelming, his breathing too close for your liking. That’s the only excuse you can find for what you blurt out next.

“I absolutely do not wanna kiss you!”

The silence turns heavier. You press your hands against your mouth, but it’s too late. Maybe it’s a good thing it’s dark in the tiny closet, because at least he can’t see your horrified face. You hear a scoff and what sound like his feet shuffling to the side.

“Of course you don’t. You’re way too out of my reach, yeah? Were you hoping to be paired up with one of those pretty boys?”

His voice is harsh.

You had seen him argue with Jason Carver before. You had seen him mad, frustrated and mocking. None of those times did he sound quite like this. Never had such an edge. If the lights were on, you worry you’d see a sparkle of hurt in his eyes.

Maybe that’s why you start to explain yourself, panic taking over.

“No! No, that’s… That’s not what I meant at all! I just do not wanna kiss!”

Eddie’s laugh is sarcastic and dark.

“Yeah, I figured that much. Well, guess what? I didn’t wanna kiss you either!”

He sounds angrier now. It’s easy to picture him with his arms crossed.

“Really?”

When the only reply is silence, you know you should have shut the hell up. Or at least you could have tried to not sound so relieved. You cringe.

“Wait, that’s not what I meant either. I-”

“Listen, I have no intention of kissing someone who doesn’t want to kiss me. So why don’t we just wait in silence until the time is up?”

You remember his frown when the jocks made fun of him at gym class. Eddie looked miserable half of the time at school. Now he’s left school, moved away from Hawkins, and you’re making him miserable all over again. Even if you really don’t mean to.

The guilt makes you start whispering.

“Anyone. Ever. I don’t want to kiss anyone. Not now. Certainly not any of them. It’s just that Lindsay forced me to play! I didn’t even want to be here in the first place. Trust me, Eddie, if I wanted to be locked in a tiny closet with any guy at this party it would be you, but I don’t! I just really, really don’t want a kiss- I don’t want anyone to touch me, actually… I’m sorry- I bet you wanted to have fun here and I ended up ruining your chance. Listen, I’ll just walk out of here and tell them I feel sick or something, and they’ll have to give you another chance-”

Before you get the chance to embarrass yourself further, Eddie interrupts you.

“Hey, hey, wait a second there.”

You can feel his eyes on you. That’s the only thing that stops you from yapping to death. You wait, but he takes too long to speak.

“I’m sorry if you thought-”

“I never wanted to make you uncomfortable!”

He cuts your apology short yet again.

“I just thought… I recognized you. From Hawkins. Class of ’89, right? I remember you. I just…”

Eddie clears his throat. You take a deep breath because he sounds softer now. He starts talking again and it’s like listening to a cartoon character- fast and disorganized. Cute.

“I just… I thought you were kinda pretty- back then! You were always smiling, and you used to carry around some of my favorite books. I- it’s not like I like you, I… It’s-it’s been a long time, and… I saw you in here. And you look just as beautiful, you know? I’m never lucky like this. Then the bottle landed on you- I thought I had a chance, after all the years of pini- It’s okay, though, I understand! I bet you have better things to worry about, huh? I bet you’re busy publishing novels or something, right? I remember your poem, the one you read on the talent show- I really liked it!”

Somewhere between pretty and beautiful, Eddie started leaning against the wall. His shoulder is warm against yours. You really don’t mean to, but a giggle escapes you.

“Oh, and now it’s me who can’t shut up. I really should have learned by now. I always end up getting in trouble like this. Do you think I could finish all the oxygen here if I keep talking? I could die of suffocation. That would save me the embarrassment of having to see your face when your friend opens the door. Would you do me a favor and forget any of this happened? I really don’t want you to remember how much of a loser I am...”

You’re laughing now. Eddie’s head thumps against the wall next to you and you decide to stop him.

“I’m sorry, but there’s no way. I don’t think I can forget how you think I’m pretty and beautiful…”

Eddie is groaning, and probably shaking his head too- his hair tickles the side of your arm.

“Also, if you died of suffocation now you wouldn’t know that I thought you were pretty too. Back then, I mean. Oh, and you were never a loser. I always thought you were very smart- with all the ways you found to get back at Carver and his clique. Also, it’d be a shame to deprive the world of your music! I remember you at the talent show too.”

His voice sounds muffled. Is he hiding his face in his hands?

“Stop making fun of me!”

It’s not an accusation. It’s whinier and more playful. It helps you relax a little.

“Are you kidding? I’d never make fun of you! I’ve actually always liked you, Eddie.”

You’d swear his breath just hitched.

“Are you serious?”

Lucky you, the darkness won���t let him see the way you’re blushing. You shrug, trying to look nonchalant even if he doesn’t see you.

“Well, yeah.”

He’s quiet for a moment.

“Listen, I think we started with the wrong foot here. Why don’t we… Would you like to… I don’t know, maybe sometime we could-”

A beam of blinding light and awfully loud music interrupts him.

Oh, God.

“Time’s up, lovebirds! Ooh, look at you! Girl, you’re red as a cherry! What were you guys up to, all cozy in here?”

Lindsay is smiling at you, and you want to disappear again. You don’t dare take a look at Eddie; you just push past her, out into the party. You just want to get away. You need to get out of this house; out of the city, maybe- run away from the stupidity.

Stupid Lindsay.

Stupid game.

Stupid kisses.

Stupid expectations.

Stupid yo-

Someone takes a hold of your wrist and brings your escape to an end. Shit.

“Hey, hold on! Wait up!”

You really don’t want to turn around. You really, really don’t want to see his round, starry eyes up this close. You really, really, really don’t want to know how far you’ve embarrassed yourself in front of Eddie. No, you want to pretend you never saw him here. No, the last time you saw Eddie Munson was graduation. He was happy, had that stupidly cute smile of his, and then you never heard anything from him-

“Hey, I’m sorry- oh, God, you said you didn’t want to be touched. I’m sorry!”

He lets go of your wrist as if it was hurting him. His voice is a little too loud now that you’re out of the house. But it’s still gentle and nervous. You take a deep breath and turn around. At least you can’t make this worse, can you?

“I didn’t mean it that way, Eddie.”

“You didn’t…? Oh! Oh, no, you didn’t! No, I see, I- I know. Okay!”

Eddie closes his eyes and scrunches his nose, his head falling backwards. It’s a cute face, even if he looks completely humiliated right now. Something that makes no sense to you.

“Listen, I… Would you like to hang out sometime?”

It’s a simple question. That doesn’t stop you from blinking three times before replying with another question.

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

Eddie’s eyes open like a cartoon character’s.

“Shit! You don’t do that either? I’m really sorry. Fuck, I’m an asshole, and I should leave you alone. I’m so sorry. I promise you’ll never see me again…!”

In his rush to give you space, he ends up tripping over his own feet and falling on his ass. You try to catch him by the arm, but he’s too heavy and you end up falling too.

It’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

A laugh makes its way out of your chest and it’s impossible to stop it.

“Oh, God…! Are you… okay, Eddie?”

He’s staring at you as if you were crazy. Fair, because you probably are.

“I didn’t mean to laugh,” but you’re still laughing, “I’m sorry. I guess we’re both sorry, huh?”

The giggles keep coming out.

“Yes… I’d like to hang out sometime.”

His head snaps to you.

“Really?”

You do your best to get the laugh under control.

“Really.”

“Okay, then.”

Now he’s taking your hand and lifting you to your feet. It’s a simple movement, fast and soft; but not faster than your ability to blush. At least you’re not laughing anymore. Eddie is closer now than he was in the closet, his chin a couple inches away from your eyes. He smells like wood and blankets: warm and cozy. It’s easy to forget the party behind you, the loud music and cold air disappearing into his eyes.

“So… No kisses, then? Of any kind? Or is it like touching?”

You find yourself whispering too.

“Just no kisses on the mouth.”

“Great.”

Suddenly, coming to this stupid party doesn’t seem that terrible of an idea, because Eddie Munson is kissing your forehead. And it’s ridiculous, silly and amazing. He’s also blushing, eyes crinkling at the sides and a round, shy smile reflecting yours.

“Just so you know, that counts as our first kiss.”

“First? That implies more than one. Someone’s very confident.”

“Well, the night is young and you look like you have some time to spare. What do you say we get out of here? I could introduce you to the best milkshakes in the city.”

“…I’d actually love that.”

This time it’s you who grabs his hand. Eddie grins, and he looks just like the boy who stood on tables back at Hawkins High: young, brave, ready for adventure.

“I shall show thee the path, milady.”

He bows and you laugh. Walking away from the party and the rest of the world is easy. Comfortable. Natural. The way heaven must feel like, if you had to describe it.

[fountainpenguin]

☁️ Cloudlands AU ☁️

Fairly OddParents

A serious deep-dive into FOP's worldbuilding, with a focus on sewing seemingly conflicting canon together to create consistent lore. Heavy emphasis on non-human biology and complex magical cultures.

#ridwork guides

What Is Cloudlands AU?

An FOP series ft. detailed lore and character relationships. The goal is fanfics that expand on the show's canon without conflicting it if at all possible, even if that means wild explanations.

Why does Crocker's portal to Fairy World have a completely new design every time it appears? Who's that anti-fairy kid Jorgen claims H.P. and Anti-Cosmo raised together? What's up with the Sacred Silver Pencil Sharpener of Canada? And are you telling me Cosmo and Wanda were assigned as godparents to Erg 40,000 years before they were married, presumably while Wanda and Juandissimo were dating? What was that like? We talk about it all!

A carefully considered magic system does a lot of heavy lifting. ❤️

AO3 Series: 130 Station, Rainbow Train, and Other Arcs

FOP blog tag - #FAIRIES!

Tone

Mostly drama with fluff and angst mixed in.

Characters

Mainly Pixies (H.P. & Sanderson), Anti-Fairies (Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda, Foop), & the late modern kids (Poof, Goldie, Goldie's counterpart Anti-Marigold).

Cosmo, Wanda, Timmy, Chloe, and other humans (such as Denzel Crocker, Kevin Crocker, Gary, Betty, and Ed Leadly) also have arcs and messy backstories.

Ships

Canon-compliant, but expanded on. Ex:

- Anti-Cosmo married his childhood betrothed while Anti-Wanda was dating Anti-Juandissimo.

- H.P. and several OCs across his long life. Those romances go... great!

- Shout-out to Mark/Vicky, Poof/Goldie, Foop/Anti-Marigold, Foop/Anti-Coriander, Timmy/Molly & Chloe/Kevin (My beloveds...)

- Also worth mentioning that I treat Wanda/Juandissimo as a sincere and pleasant part of their backstories. They went their separate ways, but had a non-abusive dating life. They were friends :)

- Sanderson has a ton of will o' the wisp dating life issues, but we don't have time to unpack that right now.

Setting

Most works take place in the cloudlands, which include Fairy World, Anti-Fairy World, and Pixie World. Some works takes place in Dimmsdale. Rarely works take place elsewhere, such as alien planets or Unwish Island.

Is It For Me?

This AU is highly detailed. It clings to canon to the point of being ridiculous. It can be tough to get into due to long works and a heavy focus on less popular characters (such as Pixies), but there's a lot to read.

This AU focuses more on magical beings in the supporting cast than it does the main cast, but there are still notable pieces about the mains.

For a breakdown of detailed lore, see the Orange Train post

Major Themes

Growing up, making mistakes, pushing through hard times, recovery, revenge, forgiveness, growth, change, and letting go.

Plot Highlights

- Origin of the Pixies - A young H.P. contracts the real-world bacteria Wolbachia pipientis, which causes wasps to reproduce asexually. Now he's caring for an exponentially increasing amount of pixies he never wanted in the first place, on top of drama like his wife accusing him of cheating and him being kidnapped by Cupid's family because he's the holotype of a brand new species.

- Frayed Knots - Anti-Cosmo, raised in the anti-fairy baby ban era, experiments with Anti-Fairy biology in the hopes he'll discover a loophole to achieve his dream of being a father. In doing so, he finds a breakthrough that could possibly flip biology around so Anti-Fairies are the hosts and Fairies are their reflective counterparts bound to their whims... and he becomes obsessed with fathering a generation whose biology is exactly that.

- 130 Reasons Why I'm Fairy Trash - Happy Peppy Gary and Betty were raised as Pixie tools since they were 10. At age 18, Betty opts to wipe her magical memories, cut ties with Gary, and move to Brightburg. Gary, blindsided and desperate, throws himself down a trainwreck of bad decisions in an attempt to retrieve her memories from Fairy World. Everybody clap for him. (And other stories.)

- Come What May - Kevin Crocker spends the spring with an uncle and grandmother he's never met. Ghosts, the popular kids, an anti-fairy, and his uncle's talking cat make it their personal mission to bother him. It's a good thing he's dead inside.

Ongoing?

This long-term passion project began in March 2016. It is ongoing with intent to wrap up the existing projects in the next several years. Updates tend to come in bursts with breaks in between.

- Want AO3 emails? Subscribing to both the Rainbow Train & 130 Station series will cover everything in Cloudlands AU.

- Or, subscribe to specific plot arcs. Find the list HERE.

Warnings, notes, and explanations below so readers can learn more about this AU. Proceed with caution. Don't like? Don't read.

- There are abused children, neglectful adults, and non-human characters in fanfics for the show about abused children, neglectful adults, and non-human characters?? Scandalous. (Seriously though, this one's a doozy)

👀 Take a Peek

New here? You might like to start with these:

- "Mama's Boy" (G - 3000 words) - A back-and-forth comparison of Cosmo's upbringing against Anti-Cosmo's. Quick and easy read, and definitely a fan-favorite.

- "Make You Proud" (G - 4700 words) - Anti-Wanda is excited that she won a gold medal at the Fairy World Games. She tries to get Anti-Cosmo's attention while he's distracted with the event. Fluffy, silly character study.

- "Step Back" (G - 5600 words) - Foop gets overwhelmed at a party with his extended family. A brief glimpse into Anti-Fairy World and who Foop is shaping up to be as a person. Foop is my favorite to write character studies for and this is an oldie, but a goodie.

- "Solo" (T - 6000 words) - A young pixie answers phones as part of his coming of age trial. Things go awry when Gary and Betty call for help from Florida and the inexperienced pixie is at a loss about how to get them back to California. Takes place during the S4 episode "Baby Face." Huge personal favorite of mine; this is where plot really kicks off. Good introduction to the drama you can expect in a lot of my work.

- "Sentry" (G - 6000 words) - The start of a 3-part arc about Poof, Foop, and their pixie classmate (Finley) at boarding school before transitioning to spring break. The arc starts with Poof getting in trouble for fighting, then moves to Poof reflecting while on the bus, then moves to the three kids spending time with their grandparents.

- Very soft drama with some fluff; a good taste without getting overwhelmed. Also, this arc is more recent than the pieces above, which were posted in 2016. - Takes place at the end of 130 Prompts Arc 2, so it does contain very minor plot spoilers.

Start Reading

Recommended ways to get into the full AU

🌄 First Written - Baby, You're a Rich Man

H.P. and Sanderson got their hands on a baby clown. Now they just have to get him safely back to Pixie World when they've been deprived of magic and damaged their truck.

- Based on the Season 4 episode "School's Out! The Musical" - An introduction to magic basics, biology, and world lore through Sanderson's eyes. - Throws readers directly into the thick of things with Sanderson's meandering thoughts and extremely unhealthy fixation on H.P. and/or taking over as Head Pixie someday

🗑️ 130 Reasons Why I'm Fairy Trash

The 130 Prompts project is a series of one-shots that explores my FOP character ideas and worldbuilding.

- "Excitement" (G - 7500 words) - The first piece written for my series 130 Reasons Why I'm Fairy Trash. It's about the Pixies traumatizing 10-year-old Gary and Betty at an amusement park so they'll cling to safety in the future. From here, you can read the 130 Prompts series in recommended order if you like.

If you're new to my worldbuilding, I recommend reading the prompts in the suggested order instead of chronological order. This way, you'll be given worldbuilding info in order instead of jumping to a piece where that info is assumed.

📅 Chronological Start - "First Things First"

A 10k-word piece (G-rated) about nature spirit OCs, featuring cameos of canon characters like Mother Nature, Father Time, and the Grim Reaper. This piece sets up lore for the Fairy zodiac, which plays a role in Frayed Knots especially.

- Each piece in the 130 Prompts series has Previous and Next links so you can either read in recommended order or you can follow the chronology from start to end. - Reading chronologically is not recommended unless you're already familiar with the worldbuilding - Full timeline chronology (Entire Cloudlands AU)

🗺️ Worldbuilding - So, You're Studying the Cloudlands...

A collection of worldbuilding and meta essays covering subjects like biology, culture, history, holidays, magic, maps, and a handbook on new godkid assignments.

You may also like my @riddledeep blog, where I first posted this meta. I'm currently moving things to the guide linked above. This way, the content is backed up and accessible to those who don't use Tumblr. Posts will remain on the blog.

📋 AU Notes & Warnings

Author writes villain encounters & villain backstories about complex non-human societies and does not inherently condone any viewpoints presented by characters or the societies they live in.

- This series focuses heavily on Pixies, Anti-Fairies, and cloudland or Fae culture. There is less focus on human godchildren or the main characters in the show (like Timmy, Cosmo and Wanda).

- This series is built so that many intricate storylines and worldbuilding elements weave together. There's no shame in skipping pieces you don't want to read, but you may miss plot or worldbuilding details important to the larger story. It can be intimidating to get into such a big project.

- This series does have fluff, but relies on drama. Content may be upsetting, and the order you read things may limit the chance for mental breaks.

- Lots of drama and complicated things going on. I recently changed the rating of my longfics to Not Rated & Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings due to the sheer variety of things, such as:

- Fantastic racism (Fairies, Anti-Fairies, Pixies, genies, and others disliking each other)

-> Show canon heavily implies these races have conflict. Jorgen faced no pushback for calling Norm a "filthy genie" on international TV. Jorgen and others refer to Pixies with rude terms such as "cone-headed freaks", etc.

- Social ladder/caste system (Cupid's ancestors organized fae in a list many generations ago to help Fairies find species with heat cycles that overlapped theirs, but the system has been corrupted into legal discrimination)

- Biologically assigned status (Male Fairies who eat a lot of jelly at a young age will develop into gynes: big, tough, freckled Fairies who fight with each other to defend their turf and drone companions. Think how H.P. and Big Daddy have unique body shapes compared to the other Fairies. They're gynes!)

- Some young bees are fed royal jelly so they develop into queens. The name for these "princesses" is gynes, so I yoinked that

- Most of the pixies are drones, apart from a few gynes. Vice President Longwood is due to succeed H.P. as Head Pixie someday, which Sanderson (a drone) absolutely despises.

- Fairies lick each other in greeting to spread pheromones, mirroring a hive of eusocial bees that gather near the queen to lick her

It's basically a non-sexual A/B/O dynamic, which was completely unintentional and I got a good laugh out of it when I realized what A/B/O was years ago. Convergent evolution...

- Mpreg - It's canon in the show that male Fairies give birth. I don't have anything to say about it; just that it's canon in my work too and treated with the same sincerity as everything else.

- Injury - Includes long-term injury, temporary injuries, and self-harm (Ex: Cutting your palm to stop using magic so you won't age). I don't consider this series bloody or gory. Fairies do have rainbow blood that's mentioned occasionally, but they're very elastic and heal quickly. The humans don't really have bloody moments.

- Character death - Most common when gynes fight to the death, but I've written other deaths as well, such as one where the Pixies caused a car crash on purpose because it benefited them.

-> Fairies are very resilient. Anti-Fairies regenerate if they're killed, as they can't die if their host counterpart (the Fairy) still lives. Death isn't overly common in my 'fics, but I'd feel weird warning for other things and not mentioning this one.

- Sexism (Anti-Fairy World tends to look down on women; Anti-Cosmo in particular tends to parrot the sexist beliefs he grew up with and gets annoyed at pushback)

-> Male bats often mate with many females (up to 30 sometimes). I built Anti-Fairy society around the idea that females outnumber males, but males see it as a sign that many women should be subservient to them because "it's nature." Anti-Cosmo is a product of his culture. Diversity loss! The villain has harmful views!

-> Anti-Fairies tend to be less racist and more sexist than Fairies while Fairies tend to be less sexist and more racist.

- Honey-lock - Anti-Fairies get flooded with hormones and magic 3 months after their counterparts mated. The pair are driven to locate each other, mate, and produce children in reflection of their counterparts.

-> what do you mean that's traumatizing? Dang, you guys live like this?

-> Anti-Cosmo's underlying goal in Frayed Knots is to beat the system so the next generation of Anti-Fairies will be born without the honey-lock's effects.

- Sociosexual Anti-Fairy culture - Anti-Fairies have a touch-based society themed around bonobos because I thought it would be interesting, particularly in a society where pregnancy is out of your control anyway (i.e. you can't accidentally get pregnant- It's in your counterparts' hands).

-> I do think "It feels good and we have few consequences, so why not?" is a reasonable direction for their culture

-> I'm not sure I would make that same choice years later, as it can be quite off-putting, but I'm glad I got to worldbuild with such unique building blocks. I enjoy it, but it's not for everyone.

- Infidelity (Anti-Cosmo cheats on his wife before Anti-Wanda and is implied to sometimes cheat on Anti-Wanda)

-> You're telling me the sexist sociosexual culture has infidelity and the evil villain fell into it? Bummer...

- Iris Virus - Having colored eyes in Anti-Fairy culture is played as an STD that's ceremonially passed to new individuals (because... sociosexual culture).

-> Also, what was I supposed to do with almost every Anti-Fairy having red eyes but Anti-Cosmo, Anti-Wanda, Foop, and the occasional background Anti-Fairy have other colors? Genetics? No way! 😃👍

-> RIP Anti-Cosmo. I'm sorry I find it hilarious that you cheat on all your partners and then sob like your trust's been shattered when your wife chooses to pass the virus on to secure allegiance with a valuable ally. Her body, her choice, dude.

- Child, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse (Frayed Knots in particular is not a hunky-dory story; Anti-Cosmo was often hit as a child. Some characters are cruel to Anti-Cosmo and he is cruel to others as well.

-> There are abuse themes in the Fairly OddParents 'fics?? The TV show about abused kids? what won't they think up next.

-> Cosmo's mother is doting in canon, so I portray Anti-Cosmo's mom as abusive to him.

-> Living in a sexist sociosexual culture sometimes leads to sexual abuse?? Also, belonging to a species that is magically forced to reproduce when your counterparts do even if you didn't consent is probably also sexual abuse? wild.

-> In Origin of the Pixies, H.P. was kidnapped by a will o' the wisp in his younger years and pressured into sex while she was producing milk for newborn Sanderson.

-> H.P. is emotionally distant and not the best at coping with what happened to him. He doesn't necessarily pursue help or get the best closure to this story. Don't hold the villains up as role models.

-> Foop has an alternate personality. This is canon; here's a compilation video I made of his appearances in the series (Note, this compilation includes Foop's Terrific Twos and some scenes where his alter is implied with eye highlights and a high voice to be there, but not confirmed). It's heavily implied he gained this personality due to being isolated in Abracatraz since the day he was born.

-> Cupid's family kills any children that aren't born triplets due to a sacred oath his ancestors took to uphold love all hours of the day. Tradition requires three children to split the magic by way of Morning, Afternoon, and Evening.

-> I would say it's also child abuse that Jorgen was raised with all the pressures of being Keeper of the Rules from the moment he was born, including being pressured to cut off his own wings in line with the tradition of "noble self-sacrifice."

- Young characters & implied offscreen sex - Are you seriously telling me the popular teens might've had sex when they were something like 150,000 years old and they'd been together since childhood? What on earth.

-> In Anti-Fairy society, you're recognized as a full adult at age 150,000.

-> In Fairy World, you're recognized as an adult when you moult your juvenile wings and grow your adult wings. This is generally between ages 140,000 and 180,000.

-> In Pixie World, you're recognized as a full adult at age 250,000. H.P. keeps age of majority high to encourage his pixies to establish themselves in Pixie World instead of leaving. These are non-human cultures that each have their own views.

-> Poof and Goldie have an arc about Goldie having Harm OCD over the fear that she'll fall into her will o' the wisp species stereotype and take advantage of Poof. Meanwhile, Poof has panic attacks because he's pretty sure she did, but blames himself for not being more self-aware. 😬

-> Foop gave his lover Anti-Marigold the iris virus when they were considered young adults in Anti-Fairy society (but still in school) to see if his dad would notice. Years later, he has a breakdown over the fact Anti-Cosmo never did, nor does he seem to care if his son is being reckless.

-> The sexual part of the Celebrity Kids arc is kept off-screen throughout the 130 Prompts. This arc is about the stress of being high schoolers treated like celebrities, ambassadors, royalty, and sports stars.

- Implied incest in H.P.'s family line before he was born (In the old days, it was common to marry cousins to preserve money. This custom has ended in modern times, but comes up on rare occasion)

-> It's implied this family history led to the genetic mutation that gave him wasp biology; that mutation plays a big role in his story.

-> H.P. talks about how he admires his counterpart, whom he considers a cousin. Sometimes other characters mock his admiration because of his infamous family history. It's not even important in his present-day life; it's just that my 'fics are full of jerks.

Some topics may make you uncomfortable. You don't have to read them, but that's part of fleshing out these very detailed, long-lived cultures and their messy underbellies. They're Fae. Were you expecting giddy fluff?

- Summaries for my multi-chapter FOP 'fics

- Summaries for 130 Prompts (with emoji guide)

- Want more info? Send an Ask!

You can create works based on this AU. Please cite me and/or the AU as appropriate (i.e. for things very specific to this AU). You are free to expand on ideas you've thought of thanks to my AU as a jumping off point. I'd love to reblog or link things to my AO3 works if I see them!

I write drama content with morally gray characters. Please don't portray my story events or worldbuilding out of context with intentional malice. In other words, I request you do not post things created for the specific intention of mocking me or the AU. It's not to everyone's tastes, but it's built with sincerity and it is loved <3

[gallifreyanwriter]

this gomens 2 situations is so wacky and wild to me because on the one hand, neilman has gone on record first saying that he and Terry never meant for a/c to be gay at all and he's uncomfortable with the idea. and then was retweeting fan interpretations during s1 about it being an asexual/aromantic situation, and that they love each other deeply, implying it was some sort of established (if nontraditional) situation. But now with the end of S2 its basically like. oh so they AREN'T an established couple, they are building up to a big romantic climax where they kiss and make up and get together in the traditional romantic sense, and they always wanted more and are in the pining phase after all.

So what was all that years ago then??? What happened to our asexual/aromantic established couple??? Am I just being a hater?? Cause even as an acespec/arospec person who LOVES when relationships are nontraditional, I truly don't think that the powers that be intended that for season one. FANS can,and have, written that exact s1 relationship as queerplatonic/nontraditionally romantic, and those fics absolutely SLAP. I've read many of them, they are awesome and everyone should keep writing them. But if this is where they were gonna go with season 2, that kinda....undercuts that interpretation. It just makes all that talk after s1 of them not NEEDING to kiss and not NEEDING to show overt romantic affection...seem like kind of a copout. Cause I remember all that!!! I was there, I remember!!!

I wish Neilman would just say that he changed his mind on what he wanted for these characters instead of pretending that he meant it like this the whole time, and when he definitely at least changed his mind on the whole situation once, if not more.

[cosmichorrorsarestillnicerthanme]

Can you write NSFW a/o SFW of elphet with a !Male S/O, that has a dragon gear

This basically turned into its own mini fic...

Also, why is pink so hard to make?

Now! Your wish is my command!

Warnings: Smut written by an Asexual at the end, impregnation kink, breeding kink

The two of you met for the first time when Elphelt was leaving the castle and you were turning in a bounty.

The two of you were both heading in the same direction, that direction being nowhere in particular.

So, the two of you just started walking.

Eventually, Elphelt introduced herself.

You did the same.

After a few days, the two of you had struck up a friendship and had officially become traveling companions.

Slowly, Elphelt found the direction she wanted to go.

And seeing as you had nothing better to be doing at the time, you followed her.

It was around this time that Elphelt noticed the Gear Suppressors you wore.

It was also around this time that Elphelt saw what happened when you took them off.

All it took was for a wild gear to wake up, and nearly kill the both of you.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Elphelt groaned as she regained consciousness, the last few minutes being a blank aside from the Gear sending her flying far, far away.

Though not so far away as to where she couldn’t see what was happening.

The massive hulking brute of a Gear roared as the white fire shot skywards as your hair grew five times its length, your nails sharpened into claws, your blood red eyes and the twin Gear brands on the back of your hands glowing as the inferno roared around you.

After that, the flames completely engulfed you, making it impossible for Elphelt to see you.

“I dislike using this too much. It’s all kinds of… nasty.” your distorted voice cut through the roaring flames, and then a Gear’s Brand appeared before you and a thunderous boom rang out.

In an instant, the entire upper right half of the massive gear was burned away.

“Madhouse Shot.” you declared as the inferno around you ceased.

In the place you stood was a creature that walked a fine line between machine, man, and monster.

A body of gunmetal gray, hair like fire that was held back by the spiked ridges of your now mask like face, metal and flesh merging into one across your entire body, razor sharp claws, your Brand now made of metal and five times as large and forming a sort of gauntlet.

Elphelt didn’t have time to admire you for long though, as the gear began to rapidly regenerate.

“Hmm… you're a tough one.” your distorted voice muttered as you grabbed your right wrist, closing your fist tight and opening it a few times before speaking once more with a sigh “Then it looks like I’ll have to be a little meaner.”

You raised your closed fist pointing directly at the Gear before speaking.

“Carnot Cycle Subjugator.”

In an instant the heat radiating off of you increased a thousand fold, the ground below you melting and bubbling, trees around you drying out and beginning to burn.

Then you opened a finger, and in turn, the heat multiplied several times over.

The ground then began to actually melt into slag, trees ignited, and all moisture in the air vanished.

You raised a second finger, and even Elphelt, despite how far away she had been flung, was struggling against the heat while the massive gear was pushed back by wave after wave of heat burning away his flesh.

“That should be more than enough. Now, stay very, very still. I don’t want to have to vaporize more of this place than I have to.” you declared before exhaling.

Then you said two words.

“Incinerators Anthem.”

In an instant, a wave of fire shot out from between your fingers.

Though, calling it merely “Fire” was doing it a great disservice.

It was more akin to a laser, completely vaporizing the Gear.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

After that, Elphelt was practically attached to you at the hip.

She was extremely curious about how there was a humanoid gear like you.

Though, she was a lot more excited about your firepower.

As soon as she was able to, she called Ramlethal and told her all about it.

To say that Ramlethal nearly blew a gasket upon hearing the story was an understatement.

You were quite surprised she didn’t fly over here herself to throttle Elphelt herself.

However, she was apparently dealing with a “Sassy Lost Child” that was trying to “Kill Evil Twink Jesus”.

She then had to hang up.

You were deeply concerned by this information.

To Elphelt, it was just another tuesday.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

A while after this, Elphelt started looking at you… oddly.

Like you were a piece of meat.

She also kept mentioning how “Hot” you were.

You didn’t understand this.

If she wanted to stay cool, she should stop booking rooms with only one bed.

This woman was an enigma to you.

Though.

Eventually.

With a great deal of obvious hints, especially in the lyrics of Elphelt’s songs.

You figured out what the answer to the Enigma of Elphelt Valentine was.

And not once had you ever felt so hot.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Elphelt was very public about the whole thing between you two.

She wanted EVERYONE to know exactly who she was with.

She wanted no doubt that you and her were official.

She even got the marriage papers framed.

The whole shebang really.

The wedding was a private affair.

Despite that, Slayer and his wife, Sharon, still managed to slip in since they both liked Elphelt’s songs.

Especially the ones about her falling in love with you.

No one questioned them.

They knew better.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The honeymoon was perhaps the single most physically straining month of your entire life.

If you weren’t a Gear you are completely sure that you would have come within a hair's breadth of death multiple times.

A fair few times was due to Elphelt just being so excited that she crushed you in a hug.

The rest of the times were due to you and her fucking like rabbits.

How such a small woman could have so much energy for sexual deviancy terrified you.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“AHH~!” Elphelt screamed in ecstasy as you slammed her into the side of the cliff with enough force to crater it, fucking her pussy like a wild animal and lighting her nerves on fire with every thrust.

“Oh~! Fu- Harder! Harder damn it! Show me how strong a Gear REALLY is!” Elphelt shouted to the heavens without care, knowing that there was not a single soul within two thousand miles of the island the two of you were on.

And you were not one to disappoint your beautiful wife.

So, you let loose a little more, your hair growing longer, nails sharpening, and magic infusing your body with power.

You didn’t transform all the way, you didn’t need your flames for anything here after all, but you transformed enough to get all the strength you had to spare.

This was more than enough for El to know she wasn’t going to be doing anything you didn’t want her to.

You had all the power you needed to turn her into a mess, just like she wanted.

So, you did just that.

You fucked her until the crater you made when you slamned her into the side of the cliff became a cave.

You fucked her until her mind was mush.

Until her throat had gone hoarse from screaming.

Until she instinctively wrapped her legs around you so tight that you could barely move.

Until the only thing coming out of her mouth was moans of pleasure and her incoherently mumbling about how this wasn’t a safe day for her.

Neither of you cared about that though.

The only thing you cared about was making sure that everyone knew exactly who Elphelt belonged to.

The only thing Elphelt cared about right now, with the last few shreds of sentient thought in her mind, was making sure everyone knew who you belonged to.

And so, she made sure you plowed her until her cunt was raw.

She egged you on, she made sure that every time you filled her pussy until it overflowed she had her legs locked tight around you, and she made sure to let you know exactly what was going to happen to her after the honeymoon, when the inevitable pregnancy began.

Every.

Exquisite.

Detail.

[crazylittlejester]

i’ve seen two people share sexuality headcanons today so I felt inspired to share mine!!

Time: Bisexual, Malon knows all about his old crush on Sheik. Malon to me is also bi

Warriors: Asexual/Biromantic (?) but has DEFINITELY questioned if he’s somewhere on the aromantic spectrum. He’s know he was ace since before the War of Eras, but after it and everything that happened he lost interest in relationships like that and he’s not sure if he’s aro or bi, but I think he’d identify as biromantic while he figures it out

Twilight: Bisexual with a strong preference for women, specifically women that could throw him (*cough* Midna *cough*), but he does also like men

Sky: Bisexual, prefers men, but boy oh boy does he love his Zelda. She’s the only woman he’s ever liked, he thought he was gay at first and him realizing he had a crush on her when he was like 14 is what made him realize he was bisexual

Hyrule: Asexual/Panromantic, I just look into those big ol’ eyes of his and that’s the energy I get

Legend: Bisexual. I don’t really have notes for this one, he’s just bisexual to me

Wild: Also bisexual, he has no preference. He never really thought about his sexuality (since loosing his memory) until someone in the group made a comment about liking men AND women, and Wild was like “oh yeah me too”

Four: Aro/Ace, has never at any point in his life been interested in having a relationship like that, he and his Zelda are literally just super close friends, they do everything together. They’re best buds

Wind: Pansexual, took him a while to figure it out and he had a whole crisis over it when he did and he was scared to come out to his grandma, but lucky for him Tetra is a lesbian and was very supportive and he felt comfortable enough to come out to his grandma, who of course loves and supports him (its not that people are homophobic and he was scared of that, coming out can just be a nerve wracking experience and he was stressed from his journey, but Tetra and also shoving a sword through Ganon’s skull made him feel like he could do anything)

none of them feel straight to me, but these are just my headcanons 🫶

[angieblogging]

yelena belova is aroace.

Yelena Belova is canonically aroace.

Lately people dismissing that has been getting on my nerves VERY much, so I’m making this post lol.

First the terminology:

Aromantic — an individual who doesn’t experience romantic attraction.

Asexual — an individual that doesn’t experience sexual attraction.

AroSpec — spectrum that includes different aromantic identities, from aros who don’t feel romantic attraction to those who do under certain circumstances or rarely.

AceSpec — spectrum that includes different asexual identities, from aces who don’t feel sexual attraction to those who do under certain circumstances or rarely.

*note that some aroace’s choose to use only asexual to define their sexual orientation. not both are and ace, kinda like bisexuals don’t say biromanic, bisexual, just bisexual.*

So first thing i will put here is this;

This in my humble opinion should be enough of a proof, but apparently it is not.

First this part of an interview, the person speaking is a creator/co-creator of Yelena. She says she is most likely to identify as asexual than to follow Nat’s romantic path. Hinting at both aro & ace.

So in the comics Yelena shows no interest dating, as far as i am aware she has no romantic interest in the comics. She is repulsed by sex, she calls herself „nothing” referring to her sexual identity.

As much as many like to say she is a lesbian, she is not, how fucking stupid you sound, honestly. She says it herself, if I said I’m not a lesbian, would you question it? No? Then don’t question her, she says she is not a lesbian, she has no wlw storyline. Drop the fucking lesbian hc.

Some possible foreshadowing in the MCU

1. When she is talking with a widow and a former Ana (show: Hawkeye), there is a line said by the widow accompanying her: „…you and Natasha can be reunited again and live your sex in the city fantasy”.

^ Yelena leaves the room, as soon as the word „sex” is mentioned her face drops, then we have this scene where she’s looking at herself in the mirror.

2. When talking about kids and family (movie: Black Widow) she mentions she wants a dog.

3. When describing „fake story” of her life she made up because her birth certificate was burnt she says Natasha has a husband and talks about her parents, but mentions nothing about her husband or possible spouses or children. (movie: Black Widow)

4. Yelena tends to wear a lot of aro/ace flag colors.

green coat & purple lipstick (green = aro | purple = ace)

yellow & blue colors = aroace flag

Overall Yelena wears a lot of green and white and black together, aromantic flag colors.

^^ can you call that „over the top?” yeah sure… let me remind yall something else:

when enid wore this sweather yall went WILD.

but when Yelena is wearing aroace colors all the time it’s called „reaching”…?

I will continue this with even more, because while you can agree with me and say she is aroace, still there will be people who claim she is aroace, agree, but then this fucking argument comes into place:

„AROS CAN DATE”

„ACES CAN FUCK”

„QPRS EXIST”

Do you see what’s wrong with those sentences? Nothing.

There’s a „but” thoooo…

There is nothing wrong with those, but using those arguments to totally ignore her sexuality ship her and treat her like suddenly she is allo is not it.

Yelena has shown no interest in dating or sex, we can assume she is sex-repulsed as she has shows repulsion to sex and she is to me at least implied to be romance-repulsed.

And we’ve found the problem.

Sex Repulsed Aces are as you can imagine repulsed by sex. Romance Repulsed Aros are repulsed by romance… So how is someone repulsed by said things engaging in said interaction and is not repulsed by them???

I think it’s a great idea to write her into said situations to show she is repulsed and to show it’s okay, because her life, my life, the lives of other uninterested in such thing aro/ace, our lives don’t end here.

Using how some people navigate through their sexuality to justify this is wrong.

You wouldn’t write a lesbian with a man, because bi lesbians exist and she may be a bi lesbian, right?

^ just an fyi, that’s an example, the term bi-lesbian is extremely harmful to both bisexuals and lesbians. check out this for more.

The QPR dilemma is that you don’t understand what a QPR is… it’s not more than friends…it’s not in the middle, it’s out of the regular binary of relationships. Relationships I actually think are QPRs:

Friends with benefits — purely platonic, but you fuck.

Situationship — just friends that do romantic stuff together, unless you call it a romantic relationship, with the other person agreeing on that, it is not one.

QPRs are amazing and beautiful, but it’s not always about fucking and kissing and „acting like a couple” but being a QPR. It can be being friends and living together, not temporary. It can be being friends and co-parenting. It can be many things.

But as I said Yelena is repulsed, why would someone repulsed by sex/romance engage in said thing happily with no doubts, fears, negative feelings just because it’s a qpr, so it’s suddenly fine…?

This is for now all I have to say about this.

As an AroAce, who desires no romantic relationship or a sexual one please please please let us have this representation, for once in our fucking lives.

MORE OF MY POSTS ON YELENA BEING AROACE AND ARO/ACE LINKS LINKED HERE:

asexual/aromantic yelena panels

even when a character is canonically/confirmed aroace there will still be allo romance and allo sex/smut written by them

answering an anon-ask.

more talk about the comic panel.

harmful aro stereotypes.

shipping aroaces + yelena belova.

rant on yelena being aro.

another rant about thunderbolts & yelena.

[jamesshawgames]

Relics 3 Release Announcement!

Relics 3: Ashes for Gold has been released!

In Europe’s darkest hour, an even deeper darkness is stirring. One hero stands against the triumph of absolute evil. You.

It’s 1940, and the long-feared war has broken out in Europe. Our intrepid archaeologist is working as a spy for the British, undertaking daring operations to strike at Nazi interests across Europe. But soon a new threat emerges. The Nazis have obtained a stockpile of a devastating ancient weapon, and in order to activate it they are scouring the world in pursuit of long-lost Archives which can teach them how to use it. You must get there first, overcoming the odds to beat the forces of evil and prevent them from unlocking powers with which they can sweep aside any opposition and conquer the world. Can you beat the odds stacked so heavily against you, or will you fail and plunge the world into a thousand years of darkness?

Relics 3: Ashes for Gold is the epic final instalment in the Relics Trilogy, and the sequel to Relics of the Lost Age and Relics 2: The Crusader’s Tomb. It is an exhilarating 580,000 word interactive adventure novel by James Shaw, where your choices control the story.

Step into the weathered boots of a swashbuckling 1940s archaeologist-turned-spy and travel widely in a painstakingly-reconstructed vision of the world at war, facing overwhelming odds at every turn, armed only with your fists, your wits and your motley collective of memorable friends and allies. Do you have what it takes to save the world again, one last time?

Play as male, female, or non-binary; gay, straight, bi, poly, asexual, or aromantic.

Continue to develop your romance from Relics of the Lost Age or Relics 2: The Crusader’s Tomb, or embark on a new relationship with any of the seven ROs in the series.

Fight memorable villains in a race against time to prevent the forces of evil from conquering the world, against the terrifying backdrop of world war.

Ride out into the Nevada desert in the footsteps of a legendary Old West outlaw, scour the sands of Egypt for the secrets of the pharaohs, investigate occult mysteries and Nazi traitors amid the dreaming spires of Oxford, search for sunken pirate treasure in the Caribbean Sea, unearth Inca enigmas in the wild Andes, and go deep into enemy territory in wartime Japan.

Experience epic gunfights, visceral brawls, and wild stunts in vintage vehicles.

Make choices that will determine the future of the world as you close in on an ancient weapon of unimaginable power.

The game is FREELY AVAILABLE on Itch.io, at the following link: https://jamesshawgames.itch.io/relics-3-ashes-for-gold

If you want to play Relics 1 and 2 to get up to speed, they are currently available through Hosted Games.

[drinkyourvillainjuice]

Drink Your Villain Juice - FAQ

Contains mild spoilers.

What is the story about?

You play as a science experiment turned undercover supervillain, charged with gathering information on a mysterious new villain group in town. With many skeletons in your closet and mixed allegiances, whose side are you really on?

Genres: Horror, action, traumatised people trying to heal (or get worse)

Who is involved with this IF?

There's the writer, and there's her wife (the secretary!). Both of us are active on the blog, so you may sometimes see posts unrelated directly to DYVJ, usually tagged #unrelated.

What are the protagonist's powers?

The protagonist/MC can grow a resilient membrane over their body, forming two tendrils from their shoulders. The membrane makes them stronger, faster, and more resilient.

MC can also select one of three power specialities: inducing wild and uncontrolled mutations of their body, creating small creepy-crawly minions (referred to as 'nodes'), and growing a protective carapace.

Will we be able to gain multiple powers/will you add new powers?

No: both would add too much complexity and also detract from the significance of the choice.

Will our powers get stronger?

Yes, to an extent, but I don't write based on power levels anyway. :)

Who is this Paradigm/Dime person people keep talking about?

Paradigm, AKA Dime, is the MC! It's their codename with their 'true' faction.

How long will the story be? Is it going to be a series?

Length: I have no idea! I'm not intending to get completely bonkers, but I want to ensure all the ROs get their time in the sun too.

Series: I suspect this will be a duology, but I can't be certain yet as we're not deep enough into the narrative.

Did you say Romance Options!? Elaborate!

There are currently 7 romanceable characters in DYVJ. You can also play the MC as aromantic, asexual, or both. The ROs are explained in more detail on choice of games, but briefly:

Mallory (non-binary), Wilson/Wilma/Willow (gender-selectable), Kay (female), Teddie (male, men only), Control Group (female), Alistair (male), Beth (female, women/nonbinaries).

I'm intending on including at least one poly route, featuring Wil and Kay.

I've heard there's a choice to have a previous RO in the past?

Correct! There's a flashback sequence with MC and some friends before the supervillainy. You can choose to have MC dating or crushing on Prii (nonbinary), Shauna (female), Grant (male), or Beth (female). This doesn't prevent you from romancing someone else later on!

Will the characters from the flashback show up again?

I can promise some level of closure! There won't be romance routes though. (Beth notwithstanding)

Will you make [X] an RO?

Seven is already an awful lot! I don't want to overcommit by adding more!

Can I select all the options for the Juice changing my character's appearance?

I'm presently not planning on adding this. I'd have to alter some code in an annoying way and I enjoy it being a choice with intent instead of an 'all of the above'.

Will we be able to get off the Juice/free from control?

Keep playing and see. ;)

How villainous can I get?/Do I have to be a villain?

There will be opportunities to leap off the proverbial slippery slope, but also to be unhappy and conflicted about what you're being forced to do.

Drink Your Villain Juice! is kind of a goofy name.

So I've heard! I know it's given people the impression that this is a comedy, which it, uh, very much is not. Honestly Drink Your Villain Juice! was the only title that popped for me in the conceptual stage: everything else felt much more bland or generic.

I've found a bug, how can I let you know?

First, please make sure you didn't resume playing on Dashingdon from an old save: updates to Dashingdon tend to break a lot of stuff in the backend and that's been the root of a lot of errors in the past.

If you're confident this isn't the problem, then just send an ask or post on the COG forum! I'll look into it.

I'd like to give feedback on the game!

Once again, send an ask, or post on the COG forum. I also have a feedback form I'm trying out for each chapter, so you can fill that out if you like!

Can I support you?

That's very kind of you! Support from fans is how I can work on the game and update as frequently as I do. I have a Patreon and a Ko-fi, but honestly, I'm grateful just for your feedback. :)

Do you have a discord?

Yes, it's tied to Patreon membership. However, if you have sent a tip/donation/etc, please reach out to DYVJ requests to talk about an invite. :)

[nerdygaymormon]

Happy Pride

I want to wish a Happy Pride to:

Green Carnations

In 1892, Oscar Wilde had some of his friends wear a green carnation on their left lapels to the opening night of his show. An elegant and witty character in the play—who paralleled real-life Oscar Wilde—wore a carnation as part of his costume. Why green? It was an unnatural color for a carnation, Wilde chose this since it was said that homosexuality was unnatural. The green carnation became associated with Wilde and his flamboyant friends, and spread as a secret code to show others that you're gay.

"Be Gay, Do Crime"

The slogan "Be gay, do crime" has existed since at least 2011. The slogan suggests that crime and incivility may be necessary to earn equal rights given the criminalization of homosexuality around the world and a reminder that the Stonewall uprising was a riot. The slogan stands in contrast to the polished, corporate version of contemporary Pride, and shows that queerness has always been transgressive, regardless of its legal status. Part of being queer is being willing to push boundaries and protect one's self from the law since we have traditionally been attacked by it.

Peppermint Patty and Marcie

Peppermint Patty defied traditional gender norms. She played all sorts of sports at a time when it wasn't common for girls to do so. All the other female characters wore dresses, but Patty wears a t-shirt, shorts and sandals and the only other female character not to wear dresses is Marcie.

Peppermint Patty regularly flirts with Charlie Brown and has a strong bond with Marcie. While we don't know for sure, it certainly seems that Peppermint Patty is bi and her best friend Marcie is a lesbian.

I can imagine Peppermint Patty organizing the school's GSA or an all-inclusive dance, and loudly calling out any queerphobia. I like thinking of Patty getting a man's suit from a thrift store and going to Prom where she dances with both Marcie and Charlie Brown

Absolut Vodka

In 1979, Absolut entered the American market, but sales were slow. In 1981, Absolut starting targeting the LGBTQ consumer with the idea this group are trendsetters. Since 1981, Absolut has had print ads in queer magazines, sponsored events in gay bars, donated more than $40 million to queer charities and causes, sponsors the GLAAD Media Awards, and numerous major LGBTQ events in the US annually. Absolut has commissioned many openly gay artists to create ads, such as Andy Warhol, Nereyda Garcia Ferraz, David Spada, Keith Haring and Kenny Scharf. Supporting the queer community in 1981 was risky, but they have invested in the community and earned loyalty in return.

Pink Triangle

In the 1930s and 40s, just as Nazi Germany required Jews in the concentration camps to wear a yellow star of David, gay men, bi men, and trans women had to wear a downward-pointing triangle on their chest. The symbol was reclaimed in the 1970's by the queer liberation movement as a symbol against homophobia, and then was adopted widely by the LGBTQ community. The community took this symbol from the holocaust to show we are stronger than the worst done to us.

The pink triangle has largely been replaced by the rainbow Pride flag, and a reason for this is explaining why a pink triangle is the symbol of the community required an explanation of its dark past and therefore was about what others did to us rather than a symbol representing who we are and our hopes & aspirations. Although it isn't used much anymore, it's important to remember the pink triangle as the first widely-adopted visual symbol of the queer community

Ace & Aro Rings

Beginning in 2005, wearing a black ring on the middle finger of your right hand became a way for people to signify their asexuality. The material and design of the ring are not important as long as it is primarily black. It’s about carrying a reminder on our hands that there are others like us, and it's a way to identify each other. A white ring on the left hand of the middle finger is the aro equivalent.

Eyebrow Slits

Eyebrow slits was a trend in the hip hop community in the 1990's and called "eyebrow cuts." The trend fell out of style, but was brought back in the 2010's by some male artists and models as an edgy fashion statement. Lesbians quickly adopted this trend, perhaps as a way of showing they aren't beholden to gendered fashion rules, and it quickly grew in popularity on social media as a way for members of the queer community to express themselves and signal to each other. It seems natural that a fashion style containing an underlying rebelliousness appeals to a group who are marginalized by society. The eyebrow slit trend largely has faded except among the LGBTQ+ community, and so has become associated with us.

Nautical Star Tattoos

For centuries, sailors would get tattoos, often of images with symbolic meanings, such as the nautical star (which represents the North Star) which was believed to ensure a sailor’s safe return home. In the 1940s and 50s, lesbians were navigating the choppy waters of societal norms and expectations, and this five-pointed star tattoo became their compass, helping them find others like themselves. They'd get this tattoo on the inner wrist because it could be covered by a watch strap during the day, allowing women to hide their identity when necessary for their safety or professional lives, but could reveal it in safe spaces. This symbol was revived in the 1970's and is still used by some to this day.

Online "Am I Gay?" Quizzes

A common experience of people who are gay, bi, and pan, is they find an online quiz that will ask a few questions and then determine whether you are gay, or will reveal how gay you are (as though this can be graded like a school test). Sometimes the questions are lighthearted, while others try to be more serious. Here's the thing, more than any quiz results, searching for this type of quiz is probably the biggest indicator that a person experiences attraction to people of their same gender. It can be helpful for someone to have a "confirmation" of how they're feeling, and thus these "am I gay" quizzes will remain a rite of passage many.

Subaru

In the early 1990's, Subaru was struggling. Sales of their dependable but plain cars were in decline. Subaru knew teachers, healthcare professionals, IT professionals, and the outdoorsy types bought 1/2 their cars in America, and they targeted advertisements at those groups. Soon they realized there was yet another core group, lesbians were 4 times more likely than the average American to purchase a Subaru.

Subaru began printing advertisements that made subtle nods to lesbians in a way that slipped past the notice of other Americans, such as having the license plate "XENA LVR" on a car. Many ads had taglines with double meanings. "Get Out. And Stay Out" could refer to exploring the outdoors in a Subaru—or coming out as gay. "It’s Not a Choice. It’s the Way We’re Built" could refer to all Subarus coming with all-wheel-drive—or an LGBTQ identity.

Subaru noticed a group of customers and created ads for them, a group which often felt unwelcome and invisible. The campaign was so successful that it became a stereotype that lesbians drive Subarus, even leading to the word "Lesbaru." Polls show that the queer community views Subaru as the most queer-friendly brand.