#asap rocky live love asap | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lees-chaotic-brain · 5 months ago

Note

i need an angst to fluff inumaki x reader fanfic based on the song 'daylight' by taylor swift ASAP (no rocky OR stayc OR newjeans).

"And I can still see it all (In my mind)

All of you, all of me (Intertwined)

I once believed love would be (Black and white)

But it's golden (Golden)"

LIKE ACTUALLY PLEASE 🙏

the song's basically about the struggles taylor went through in her past relationships and begins to doubt she'll ever find pure love until she finally meets the man that brightens her life and shows her what true love really is.

the reader could've went through an abusive relationship in the past and guarded herself up even after she met inumaki until she gets to know him better and opens her heart to him KFYDORNEFH. inumaki and the reader could have like sentimental moment together where the reader finally opens up about her past relationship that caused her to become the person she is now and inumaki could bring up his insecurities of his cursed speech and how it's affected his life dealing with bullying, unrequited love, etc.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE 🙏

summary: after an abusive relationship you don't believe you're ready to love again, but then Inumaki Toge entered your life like a ray of sunshine breaking through the storm clouds...

cw: abusive relationship, abusive ex, emotional abuse, mentions of verbal abuse, emotional manipulation, toxic relationship, implied sa if you squint, self doubt, FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF, growing old together

word count: 1.6k

note: i'm so sorry this took so long! a lot of things happened irl, plus i really wanted to do this request justice! also a quick disclaimer: not all abusive relationships look the same! the abusive ex in this fic is basically a mix of my and my best friends exes, so it strongly reflects my, as well as her, own personal experiences! please don't read this if abusive past relationships trigger you in any way, shape or form. take care of yourselves, i love you all <3

listen to this while reading!

Event Guide | Event Masterlist | JJK Masterlist | Blog Navigation

You hadn’t exactly been the luckiest when it came to love. Your first relationship lasted all of a month, the two of you parting amicably after realizing you were better off as friends. Your second relationship had lasted a little longer, before fizzling out due to him moving away.

But compared to your third and most recent relationship, all of your previous ones looked like fairy tales. At the time, you hadn’t realized how toxic he was due to his nature. There was nothing dramatic about the abuse, nothing like the obvious and exaggerated examples you saw in the media.

It had started small, but quickly escalated into manipulation and toxicity. Going into the relationship you were confident in yourself and your ability to set and maintain boundaries. But as time went by you found yourself being talked into doing things you weren’t comfortable with, or didn’t want to do.

You tried to convince yourself that you had wanted it as much as he had at the moment, so it wasn’t his fault, and that going forwards you would be more firm. Then the emotional manipulation started.

He would treat you like you were nothing more than a shit stain on the sidewalk, call you names, accuse you of cheating and only using him for his body. But just as you hit your breaking point he would swoop in and love bomb you.

The vicious cycle continued, and when your friends told you it was unhealthy, and that you should break up with him, you told them that you couldn’t. That you loved him and he made you happy.

And it was true.

He would beat you down until you hit rock bottom, break you until you were numb, but during the moments when he doted on you and told you how much he loved you, the high his love gave you was like no other. Looking back on it you could see that it was manipulative and abusive, but at the time you lived for those moments.

Even at the end, you couldn’t help but love him as he spat names full of vitriol at you. You told him you loved him, that you would be a better partner, and were left heartbroken when he broke up with you.

A couple of weeks passed, and after the heartbreak faded, your mind began to clear and you felt as if you were thinking rationally for the first time in years. Hindsight is always 20/20 and yours was no exception. Looking back, the red flags were clear, and you had no idea why you stayed with him for so long.

It was probably because you refused to see him as anything other than a good person who loved you, and that scared you. Clearly you were a terrible judge of character, and if you wanted to avoid getting hurt again you couldn’t trust yourself.

If you couldn’t trust yourself, there was no way for you to trust others. So you went through life alone. At least, you went through life alone until you met him.

Inumaki came into your life like the ray of warm sunshine that caresses your face after the storm clouds dissipate.

After struggling to find the motivation to go about your life for months, you had thrown yourself back into your schoolwork. So when Inumaki Toge was assigned to you as your partner for the paper you had to write, you pointedly ignored the fact that he was extremely attractive and got to work.

As the research paper progressed, the two of you became closer, and even started looking forwards to your meetings at your local cafe. He was struck by how kind and dedicated you were; how you didn’t look down on him for being unable to speak. It was really nice to be treated as an equal.

You were struck by how funny and caring he was, and just how much you were beginning to enjoy spending time with him. It was terrifying.

Just months ago you had promised yourself that you would never fall in love again, that you couldn’t trust yourself to not jump headfirst into another abusive relationship, but here you were, falling in love once again. And it wasn’t like a little crush or anything. You fell, and you fell hard.

He consumed your every waking thought, from his mischievous little smiles to his gorgeous purple eyes, to the kindness he showed your underclassmen. You found yourself hyper analyzing every one of your interactions with him, searching for any red flags, desperately hoping to find something that proved he wouldn’t be good for you.

Because at the end of the day, you weren’t just scared to get into a relationship for fear of another abusive partner. You also feared opening yourself up to love again and getting your heart broken again.

Every logical, rational part of you knew that it wasn’t a good idea, that you shouldn’t date again, but then again, every emotional, instinctual part of you screamed that something about Inumaki Toge was right.

I don't wanna look at anything else now that I saw you I don't wanna think of anything else now that I thought of you

A month flew by, and the deadline for your paper came and went. Without ever speaking about it or formally agreeing to, the two of you continued to meet up, except now it was to hang out, not to work. Coffee dates, trips to the local museums and aquariums, exploring local small business restaurants, whatever you had the time and funds to do you did, enjoying the time spent savoring each other’s presence.

It had taken time, and a lot of proof that he was nothing like your ex, but you had finally gotten to the point where you were ready to move on, to trust. To place your heart in the hands of another, even if it meant leaving you vulnerable again. And a big part of that was due to the gentle kindness and patience he showed you.

Nothing about the relationship the two of you shared was the stuff of romantic dramas, with their dramatic confessions, sweeping declarations of love, and passionate gestures. Instead your romance was quiet. It was easy. And most of all it was completely reciprocated.

There was no defining moment where the two of you stepped across the line separating friends for lovers. It was more like the two of you were on a peaceful journey, only noticing days after that you crossed it. The line between friends and lover merely blurred, until one rainy day while the two of you were camped out in your bedroom the two of you decided you were “officially” dating.

But putting a label on it hadn’t changed anything. If anything, the label was only there so you could continue doing what you had been. And if that meant picturing a future that involved marriage and growing old with him, well that wasn’t anyone’s business, now was it?

And I can still see it all (In my mind) All of you, all of me (Intertwined)

Now, half a century later you sit on your porch, quietly rocking on a swing as you watch the sun rise, daylight slowly spilling across the sky. The glow of youth had long left your features, skin sagging under the weight of the joy in your smiles, joints and bones creaking from a lifetime of adventures.

And sitting there on your porch, the swing creaking rhythmically as you sit beside the love of your life you think about your ex-boyfriend for the first time in decades. Looking back, you can’t even fathom how different your future was than you predicted.

Before you met Toge, you had resigned yourself to growing old alone, obviously having friends by your side, but going through life without a romantic partner. At that point in your life, you believed that love was more trouble than it was worth, that it only brought hurt and you would never find someone who would make you feel like the main character in a romance novel.

But then Toge came along, and it was nothing like the romances. It was soft, gradual; rather like the sunrise in front of you, slowly extending its syrupy warmth across the inky expanse of the morning sky. His love wasn’t dramatic or invasive, but it was comforting, warm, and all-consuming. His love filled you like the first sip of tea on a cold winter day, spreading across your chest and reaching into your limbs, chasing away the cold nip of the air.

His love was like daylight, spreading across the dawn sky, lighting up everything it touched bringing color and life to all. A gentle squeeze on your hand drew you out of your thoughts, and you turned to look at him.

His once bright silver hair had been reduced to a dull gray, and the crisp lines of his seal stretched and sagging across his cheeks. But his violet eyes were as bright as the day you met, and it seemed the love in them only grew daily. Clutching his liver spotted hand in your own, skin papery thin and liver spotted, you basked in the combined glow of your shared love and smiled.

“Hey Toge? I love you?”

He merely smiled and planted a loud kiss on your cheek, not needing to say anything in response.

After all, why would you need words when your love is as permanent and sure as the sun rising in the east each morning?

I once believed love would be (Black and white) But it's golden (Golden)

general taglist: @arlerts-angel @ponderingmoonlight @hotvinimon

jjk taglist: @m0k0k0 @starlightanyaaa

inumaki taglist: @stopshakingplz @hugsforjungwon

#so this got really poetic lmao #lee's brain writes #lee's brain writes: requests #lee's song fic event #jjk x reader #inumaki toge #jujutsu kaisen #inumaki x reader #inumaki toge x reader #inumaki x you #inumaki x y/n #inumaki toge fanfiction #inumaki toge fluff #jujutsu kaisen fanfiction #jujutsu kaisen fluff #tw: toxic relationship

49 notes · View notes

theeternalwombtarot · 1 year ago

Text

why are they silent?

message: I’m feeling called to do this reading so I’m doing it. My posting and content schedule was literally all planned out and organized but I am unfortunately the embodiment of chaos however organized so now everything is all jumbled up. I think I’d love to have a little schedule and do all these wonderful things but I don’t believe that it’s really indefinitely the right direction for me to go in. I’m naturally spontaneous, I kind of go against the grain and go my own way all the time naturally and have done so since I was a child and so I think it’s time I live in my reality and find some acceptance here lol. I’m in the process of working through my drafts I have countless readings set up to be written and posted that I haven’t even tackled yet. Well anyways, hope this brings you peace and clarity.

***

Guys, *deep dramatic sigh”, this person has a lot to say. I can’t stop channeling. It’s running through me like water lol. You could’ve stopped speaking to this person, cut them off, or cut them off from your energy all together here. Someone feels like something is incredibly unfair or unjust. They may feel like the world or the most high is against them and they feel like you slipping away from them is a manifestation of what it means to hit rock bottom. But , I don’t see you able to romanticize this, this person, this behavior, their feelings for you (any longer) you’ve expanded much too big or experienced what it means to be valued and you’re never going back there or you simply don’t resonate with this at this time.

channeled:

teenage dirt bag

I smoked away my brain- asap rocky

“Lowlife energy”

Disrespectful/disrespect

Peter Pan syndrome

“I don’t want to grow up.”

Catalyst

Life lessons

“Bigger than me” “you’re bigger than me.” “Larger than life.”

“It’s above me now.” “It’s out of my hands.”

Looking to the moon for answers

666- “a reminder to refocus and find balance in your life.” “a positive and transformative message from the celestial realm, representing self-discovery and spiritual essence.”

777- “linked to self-discovery and personal growth” “a signal to get present with what's going on between you and your significant other”

8891- “centers around personal growth and development”

786- “centers around personal growth and development” “healing and self-care. This number encourages you to take time for yourself and to focus on your own well-being”

**the angel numbers were insane, confirmation on confirmation***

Temptation

“The devil”

Forbidden fruit

Forbidden love

Unrequited. Unrequited love

“Are you finished with me?”

“Can I be your shadow?”

“Within you.”

Karmic cycles

Mirror

“See you again” -Tyler the creator, kali uchis

“Can I get a kiss? And can you make it last forever? Because, I’m about to go to war and I don’t know if im going to see you again.”

“La la la” “ok ok ok”

Feminine/masculine

Opposites

Ends of the spectrum

Redbone- childish gambino

***

Someone is coming to a conclusion about you and about themselves through you. I get mirror energy here this could be twin flame connection that you’re keeping small here. There’s imagery of someone trying to blow out a candle, or a flame that’s flickering and small. It’s not being fed. A fire that’s dying. Whomever this person is, they’re receiving their karma for who they were to you, for not making the right decisions, for being disrespectful, for stumbling through life like it’s a joke. Your spirit guides, ancestors, deities, the divine, stand behind you so fiercely. Someone is feeling some sort of wrath here for who they were to you or what they’ve done to you. I just heard, “you’ll know loss.” Someone is going to have to rise out of the ashes like a phoenix, exorcise parts of them that have kept them stuck, be physically pulled away from karmic cycles and habits. Someone says, “they aren’t learning. They aren’t moving.”

They’re feeling very restless and burnt out here. Someone’s tired of fighting. Someone’s being brought to their knees. “I hear you haven’t seen or felt rock bottom yet.” I even hear an ancestor saying, “watch this.” I’m getting the imagery of very divine and large beings sitting in a row of chairs. Almost like the last supper or the imagery of it and looking down on what’s happening attentively. This person is undergoing large heart chakra openings or having an awakening here. The imagery of the ace of swords gives me the energy of someone pulling a sword from the earth, after it’s been buried for ages. Someone is finally picking up their sword or stepping into their power here. But I see you being completely inattentive to this here. If you’re even reading this right now this is a privilege to them to have you sit and see what it is they’re going through. Someone’s not available and has made themselves unavailable or out of reach.

This person is so stubborn, they’re hard headed, and they’ve sorted planted themselves firmly in their place and have refused to move. They’re obsessed with status or are obsessed with keeping up some sort of facade or reputation to protect themselves or make them appear invulnerable, heartless, reckless and damaging. This person could like to fight, could be someone whose met with a lot of criticism or always is pushing up against or things. Using or manipulating some sort of influence. I see you coming to terms with this person and not resonating with who they are and not seeing any admirable qualities within this person any longer. This person is going to have to fight their way through the thick of the situation that they’ve built for themselves, undergoing inner purging, arising out of karmic cycles, disconnecting from karmic connections in all sorts and shapes.

This person is avoiding making hard decisions and setting themselves apart from others and owning up to their mistakes and actions. Something about this persons lack of accountability may trigger deep childhood wounds within you of some sort or be a pet peeve that you dislike very intensely in others that you now dislike very intensely within them. This person has to make a choice. The right one this time after a long time of playing games with the divine and playing games within the lives of others. They’re going to have to be reborn and undergo immense transformation and change. And this is what is going on. There’s a massive tower moment in store for them they you won’t be there for or won’t be a bystander in. This is for them to experience all on their own. It’s very likely that you may find this persons demise satisfying or be apathetic towards their hard ship at this time, I almost typed heart ship. You may be apathetic toward their internal conflict and heartbreak as well. It’s a long time coming I heard.

Someone is allowing the scales to be balanced out and protecting themselves by being nowhere near this incoming explosion or tower moment. They won’t be stepping in, helping to protect this person from their karma, or hiding this person away from their shadows. I’m getting imagery of the shadow man or Dr. facilliers death in the princess and the frog. This person is so unattractive to you right now. After a long time potentially of being your wish fulfillment and end all be all.

Messages:

“ I’m scared somebody will take you from me.”

“ I let others interfere with our connection.”

“Go back to our spot.”

“I want to call/text you, but I’m afraid you won’t answer.”

“The warmth of your hands keeps my insecurities away.”

“Don’t give my love to anybody else.”

“I was too stubborn to admit that you were my person.”

“I need closure from you.”

***

ii.

everything is okay pile two, you can relax. You may feel tension in your neck, your back, and feel a lack of energy in your legs or have some leg pain. You’re purging energies, undergoing transformation, and getting ready to accept more gifts and more happiness. Make sure you prioritize your rest, your eating and your overall health. The color blue could be significant, beige or light shades of brown, the color white, doves, crows, cats, and spiders. Snakes as well. If you feel lost, answers are on the way. If you feel alone and/or abandoned, spirit is always standing with you and protecting you. Spirit will not allow you to be mislead, be hurt, or be put in situations that will destroy you. Your spirit guides and ancestors commend you. I hear round of applause, whistling, and chants of encouragement. I actually left and took my ass to bed after pile one because pile one’s energy was crazy asl, I actually know pile one in real life. Bless their heart for real. ANYWAYS!!

channeled:

Tangled up in you- the Alton’s

Heart to heart- Mac Demarco

Let’s stay together- al green

Tell it like it is- Aaron Neville

I put a spell on you- Nina Simone

Fade into you- mazzy star

Relaxation

Inner peace

Fulfillment

222 - you’re on the right path. “signifies good fortune in finances, relationships, and career, as well as a reminder to work towards your soul's purpose.” “symbolize balance, harmony, and spiritual alignment” “the time has come for you to be more self-reflective, and focused on the duality of situations”

444 - your spirit guides are protecting and supporting you. “conveys a powerful message of love, support, and guidance from your angels”

22 - “welcome balance, wisdom, and divine transformation into your life.”

12 - “something in your life has been completed, and it's time to turn your attention away from the past and look into the future.”

896 - personal growth & development. “896 encourages you to put your devotion and efforts towards your spiritual passions and interests, in turn, manifesting abundance and plenty into your life”

888 - “positive flow, abundance, and rewards are coming your way.” “Stay open to abundance in whatever form it appears, not just what we expect or want”

8 - infinite possibilities

0 - “the number 0 is ultimately about unconditional love. "The force of love is around you all the time, taking the form of other people, opportunities, and even moments of clarity”

65 - “Angel Number 65 is giving you a message from the guardian angels that your efforts to transform and improve your life are being appreciated by the divine energies.”

100 - “symbol of new beginnings, manifestation, and spiritual guidance.” “aligning oneself with eternity while finding balance between our inner world and outer reality so that true harmony may exist within us.”

110 - “it’s time to manifest your dreams.”

Sleep

Relaxation

Careful consumption of media

Deciding on morals & boundaries

Candles

Journaling

Shadow work

Smoke cleansing

Water cleansing

Detox

Rejuvenation

Chrysalis

Hibernation

Mother Nature

Mother Earth

The Moon

Menstrual cycle

Divine feminine energy

The metaphysical

Inner child

Inner compass

Erykah badu

***

pile two… this person.. this person.. I’m so obsessed. This person is open and genuine. They may have expressed to you so much already but anything their withholding is more and further confirmation of deeper feelings and desire to do more for you and offer you more love and more peace. You may be in a relationship with this person, this gives committed relationship vibes, it doesn’t give situationship vibes, nothing is in the air, there’s no dust kicked up or fog that’s obstructing the clarity of the situation. It is what the two of you say it is, it looks like exactly what it is. It sounds like exactly what it is, devotion. Amy winehouse “love is a losing game” just came on, I have it playing on my tv and I just turned it up because it’s playing so quietly all of a sudden when my volume is already high and everything else was loud and clear.

It kind of gives me the impression that anything within the energy of loss and heartbreak is over and silenced. Spirit is covering your ears and covering your eyes to perspectives and ideas that aren’t in alignment with this connection and the love you share. The song just ended, “tell it like it is” just came on, blaring loud I was like 🫨🫨🫨. This person is a real man or a real woman. They’re ready to love you, to give you everything. They’re asking that you be honest and bare your soul and tell me them how you feel. Pride aside, fear aside. This person loves you beyond the fear and ego. I’m getting sensual energy, it’s deep and it’s passionate lol I feel like someone is squeezing my heart right now. This person applies pressure or they really get you riled up. I’m feeling all of this persons feelings. I hear my heart in my ears, you know those chills you get when you listen to oldies, the blues, or that STANK face you make when you feel something deep in your spirit. This person is in your spirit, coursing through your veins right now lol. I haven’t even began reading through the cards. UGH! Unhand me immediately!!!

This is like an intensely passionate saxophone solo. If this person is silent in any way, it’s because they’re trying to take action in their lives to get themselves in a position to show you how much they love you in a material and physical aspect. They already have laid out so much love for you to have but they want to give you more. They want to over fill your cup. They fill your cup. Your cup is full but I keep hearing “more.” I’m seeing imagery here of a divine masculine giving you everything in his pockets or anything that he has and carries with him. For some of you this is a divine masculine energy. They know your love and devotion isn’t free and isn’t cheap. They’re willing to put it all on the line. They’re even becoming more enlightened spiritually. I see the imagery of the five of pentacles and one of the men on the card is looking up the sky here. This person is looking to the heavens behind you, looking to the divine, to the moon, to spirit. Showing their gratitude, asking for and manifesting success for them to give you, asking for and manifesting safety and protection over this connection.

This person is not undecided about you, they’ve made a decision. They have some self doubt about how well they’ll be able to show up for you or how able they will be to provide you with everything you deserve because they smell your divinity, they wouldn’t do wrong by you, betray you, or give you less than what you deserve. I’m hearing “don’t” by Bryson tiller. This person feels sorry for your exes. This person is ready to give you everything and do anything on your behalf and it only gets more intense everyday. This person is in their bag or about to be, making plans for the two of you, planning a future for the two of you, making decisions and making choices behind you and your influence and your presence in their life. Financial choices, spiritual choices, emotional choices.

This person is thinking of all the things the two of you can do together or build together it’s their primary focus. Any of this persons silence is them exercising self restraint or making room for you or for this connection to unfold and blossom naturally. They want you to feel safe and feel valued despite how passionate they feel or how much they want to envelope you in all of their love and desire. This person is levitating right now. They often feel they have to take moments to pull back and gather up their energy and bring themselves down from a high or an obsessive part of them that feels driven to you.

This person, in their silence, is constantly thinking about more ways to be honest with you, value your boundaries, express their own, communicate their feelings to you. This person wants to earn your trust and your devotion.

messages:

“ save the date.”

“ will you marry me?”

This person is most definitely thinking long term commitment, sees you as someone who could be their wife or husband. Wants to live harmoniously with you and have you for a long time ❤️

“you’re a witch.”

This person feels as though you have so much power over them. They constantly feel your influence. You could be into witchcraft or be into spirituality and manifestation and they believe in your power and divinity wholeheartedly. They don’t doubt you.

“You have so much power over me.”

“Healing my mother wound.”

You could’ve brought to light some maternal issues within this person or opened their eyes to the gravity of a situation regarding their mother.

“Sending you all my love.”

“You have my undivided attention.”

“Open your heart to me. Let me in.”

“Please wait for me.”

***

iii.

This reading is being done in such immensely high and free floating energy. Someone is relaxing into something or surrendering, I’m getting imagery of someone being fully submerged into something warm or something with healing properties or that has the intention of transforming and rejuvenating them and restoring magic within the spirit. I’m getting Steve lacy - infrunami. Someone was hiding in plain sight here or may have been hiding away on purpose but the both of you are being met with true devotion from one another. There’s a lot of passion and longing I’m feeling. Someone misses someone or has plans to come to someone and be near them. Spirit is telling me, “I’m giving you space to miss one another or come to terms with who one another really are and what you meant to one another after a long time of being right underneath each others noses” there’s this energy of truths being revealed, the light or divinity in someone or the both of you being revealed. Someone within this collective may be drawn to pile two or have messages in two piles.

channeled:

Love on the brain - Rihanna

Infrunami - Steve Lacy

Tears dry on their own - Amy winehouse

Mercy mercy - Marvin Gaye

Let’s stay together - Al Green

Wet dreamz - J. Cole

CPR - Summer Walker

Trust - Brent Faiyaz

(There is) no greater love - amy winehouse

Just another interlude- Bryson tiller

Glory box- Portishead

Wholeness

Accepting love

Energy of recieving

Gifts

Divine timing

Divine plan

“Proud of you.”

Appreciation

Music

66 - “a powerful symbol of balance and harmony.”

67 - “you are on the right path and to keep going.” “prosperity and good fortune are on their way.”

68 - “your angels are encouraging you to take a leap of faith and start something new”

88 - “great success, abundance, and prosperity.” “ This number's presence is a positive sign for matters of the heart, often associated with the abundance of love and blessings.”

99 - “spiritual growth and awakening” “it confirms that your bond is based on mutual respect, understanding, and love. But, there's always an opportunity to enter a new phase of even deeper connection.”

600 - “Your material security and wellbeing are protected. Balance, harmony, and stability in your relationships. Spiritual growth and higher understanding.”

666 - “ a positive and transformative message from the celestial realm, representing self-discovery and spiritual essence”

789 - “number centers around healing and self-care. This number encourages you to take time for yourself and to focus on your own well-being. It serves as a reminder that it's important to make sure your emotional, physical, and spiritual health are all taken care of.”

884 - “ a powerful reminder that you should stay open to what life brings your way. It's time to trust that everything is happening for a reason. The angels are reminding you to stay in alignment with your heart and soul. If you do, the universe will aspire to bring you what you need.”

200 - “conveys a message of hope and optimism for your future endeavors”

211 - “guides us to maintain balance and harmony within our relationships.” “a positive omen that learning to trust yourself will set you free”

Equal give & take

Space to be yourself

Satisfaction

Overcoming fears

Emotional stability

Messages/calls

Abundance

Self-care

Singing

Throat chakra

Chakra activation

Kundalini activation

Intense physical & emotional intimacy

Support

Devotion

Red roses

Vinyl records

1970s

History

***

This person is carrying with them a lot of emotional stress and burdens here but I also see them carrying themselves almost. Like they’re trying to hold themselves back from coming face to face with you on a deep and personal level. This person is having hard time and is tired and a little burnt out from feeling as though they have to suppress their devotion or their love for you. This person is incredibly attached to you as well as sexually attracted to you. They may hide from you or try to create space between the two of you so that you won’t see just how much they like you or how much they want to be with you, how much they want to be intensely intimate with you. This person overthinks a lot, they’re an anxious person and they’re afraid of embarrassing themselves in front of you or disappointing you. This person also feels like they might inconvenience you greatly by being authentic with you due to past connections and heart break that made them seem or feel like they weren’t important or valued or weren’t owed loyalty or devotion because of the way they were when they they showed up honestly. This persons needs weren’t met and their nervous system is in overdrive trying to overcome their fear of being close to someone again despite how much they love they hold for you in their heart.

Someone in this persons past may have gaslit them or told them that they weren’t as special as they advertised themselves to be or that their love and support wasn’t genuine or wasn’t worth fighting for or sticking around for or their portrayed this to them through actions. This person has been tired, carrying a lot of tension in their bodies, or are burnt out from how much energy it takes for them to keep themselves from you. Heard the worst by Jhene aiko, not necessarily the whole entire song but “I don’t need you but I want you.” And “I don’t mean to, but I love you.” But this person, they’re afraid, because they think that they love you but are afraid to tell you or reveal their love to you through words and action. This person feels as though you’re meant for them and they constantly feel the need to apologize for pushing you away or holding off from you out of fear.

This person adores you, they care for you genuinely, and they feel they’ve been blessed with and given divine love. You may come as a surprise to this person, you catch them off guard, or appeal to them in a profound way due to past experiences. I hear this person hoping and wishing that nothing takes you away from them. This person is in a constant state of healing and transformation in order to accept you. Manifesting their fear away, taking steps to let you see them, practicing putting down their weapons, leaving their past in the past, and breaking down the walls they’ve built around themselves in order to call and manifest true love and now you’ve arrived and the walls are ready to come crashing down. This person is reprioritizing things within their life as well. They could’ve had to shift into their dark feminine energy if this is a feminine energy. This person could’ve had to remove people from their lives, undergo a lot of purging, awakening and healing in order to put themselves in their divinely ordained position to receive love and love themselves.

This person is coming to terms with the fact that the worst is over and they won’t have to fight anymore and that they can fall into you finally and be taken care of and loved correctly. They’re in the process of coming to terms with the fact that the past is in the past and they no longer have to revisit it or hold onto it. That they’re safe. That nothing else can harm them any longer.

messages:

“Every song reminds me of you.”

“You taught me what real love is.”

“Divine masculine.”

you represent true masculine energy to this person. True divine masculine energy. Especially if you identify as the divine masculine within this connection.

“You have a lot of heart.”

“Lover.”

“I’m sorry I pushed you away. I didn’t understand you, I didn’t understand my feelings.”

“Forgive me.”

“My souls purpose is to love you & be loved by you.”

*double confirmation about spending time apart.*

***

Hope this served you right and brought you Justice and true clarity! I enjoyed curating this reading, thank you for co-creating my reading by being apart of the beautiful collective, by loving my work, by being patient with me! You are so loved and valued. ❤️!

263 notes · View notes