#as you can tell my brain found this the funniest fucking shit ever

[kayzean]

My tired ass was not listening...

Help i genuinely forgot i had the cat petting emote equipped. That was completely unintentional. Never has an emote been more perfect tho.

Bonus:

Me whenever I see Crow:

[the-coffeeaddict-tim-drake]

Tim Drake Fics On A03

These are my list of Tim Drake fics on A03. It has everything. Angst, fluff, funny sibling relationship, family fluff, The core four etc... There are few TimKon fics thrown here and there too. Have fun.

Tim Drake (Doesn't) Drink Coffee by BabblingBookends

Every year, Tim goes on a caffeine detox for a month and has to deal with the resulting withdrawal symptoms. He doesn't tell the rest of the Bats about this, because, uh, reasons!

Bang, bang by Ididloveyou_once

‘You shot me!’ Jason gasped, stunned, ‘Holy shit, you actually shot me.’

Tim’s eyes widened and he froze. They stared at each other for a second, dumbstruck and then-

‘Don’t tell Bruce.’

Or: The family enjoy a normal movie night. Except Jason has a gunshot wound and Tim’s the only one who knows and oh- that’s because Tim’s the one who shot him and they really, really need to find a way to leave before anyone finds out.

Play it Again by Jazz020

The manor feels too quiet without music. Tim and Damian bond over music.

Send to All by kerosceene

I, ___________________________, hereby acknowledge that this form represents my wishes should I contract phytoaphrodisiac-induced delirium (hereafter referred to as “PAID”) during engagements with or while apprehending Dr. Pamela Lillian Isley (“Poison Ivy”).

-

The bats have a sex pollen release form. Because of course they do.

This is on of the most funniest batfam fic I have ever read.

four brothers, one crush, and absolutely zero brain cells to be found by Ms_Trickster

Tim: i need to know what’s the best way to a boy’s heart 

Damian: Easy. The best way to someone’s heart is through their ribcage. Everyone knows that. 

Damian: Come on Timothy, I expected better from you. 

Dick: I-

Dick: Try again

-

Tim is having boy troubles.

Tim goes to his brothers for help.

Tim...did not think that plan of action through.

(In which the batbros give Tim advice on relationships, told entirely through texts.)

Their sibiling relationship is too damn funny.

Home by sElkieNight60 

“Why didn't you call home?” the Red Hood is scolding him, bizarrely making his head spin with how unreal everything suddenly seems. “Why didn't you call Dad? You've been missing for three days and he is losing his mind―he thinks you've been kidnapped again―everyone has been pulling double runs all over the city trying to find you! You fucking disappeared! Seriously, Baby Bird, give us one good reason why we shouldn't drag your ass back home right now and have Dad bench you until the end of all days!?”

The two vigilantes are staring at him equal parts furious and equal parts relieved, but there must be some kind of mistake, because:

“Who is Tim?”

Only A03 users can read this fic.

Cork Board Contingencies by PrinceJakeFireCake

If you don’t use a cork board to obsessively plan contingencies for every possible way a date with your best friend can go, how can you go on a date at all?

Excerpt: “Are you free next Saturday?” Tim asked, pretty sure that Kon’s jumble of words was agreement that he wanted to date Tim.

“Maybe!” Kon exclaimed.

“Cool,” Tim commented, taking another sip of his drugged grape soda (“Dammit, Tim,” he mentally told himself. “Do not give in! Buy new grape soda! Stop drinking the drugged grape soda! I’ve shotgunned another can of drugged grape soda, haven’t I? Dammit, that makes five!”) then saying, “That gives me just enough time to pass out for fifty-two hours and plan our first date.”

Bloodlines by chibi_nightowl for exiled-one (mistralle)

“Mr. Drake, I can’t think of a better way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt. This file is for your first adoption. By the Drakes.” 

Tim blinked. “My what?” 

“You were adopted as a newborn by Jack and Janet Drake.” 

“Excuse me, but what the fuck are you talking about?”

No words. This fic is just mind blowing.

fill in the blanks by mindshelter

“You?” Tim blurts. Holy shit. “You’re Kon?”

A nod. “Are you in any pain?” he asks again.

Kon’s skin is sun-kissed, cheekbones dusted with a fine smattering of freckles; he is, without exaggeration, the prettiest person Tim has ever seen. “No, I’m—great,” he says, fidgeting. “Do you, uh, come here often?”

Kon raises a brow. “To the medbay?” he intones. “Definitely more often than I’d prefer.”

Road Rage Robin by heartslogos 

"I'd be doing humanity a favor." Tim grinds out, "And I would get away with it. I could totally get away with it. I've done worse."

Only A03 users can read this fic

Liberal Usage of the Bro-Code by heartslogos for protagonistically (the_protagonist)

“You’re never going to guess who’s blood is on my shirt – similarly, this is not my shirt but these are my pants.”

Only A03 users can read this fic.

Here's a Reminder (That You Haven't Fallen Through the Cracks) by popsunner

If it’s a salesperson, he’ll shove them a hundred dollar tip and tell them to go away, if it’s some religious do gooder, he’ll direct them to Metropolis. If it’s a Rogue, he’ll tell them he’s busy and to please get in the fucking line. If it’s one of his siblings--

“Hey, Tim!” Dick says brightly, forearm braced against the doorframe.

Dammit.

i totally don't have amnesia by impravidus for odd_izzy

Based on this john mulaney bit: “I also think it's weird in movies when someone has amnesia and they wake up in the hospital. A lot of times they'll be surrounded by friends and family, but when they open their eyes they go "Who are you?" Because that's not how you act when you don't recognize somebody. That's very rude. It would be chaos out there if every time you saw someone you didn't recognize, you went, "Who are you?" I always try to be really polite in life, so like if I had amnesia, you'd never know it. I'd wake up and they'd be like "Hi John, we're so happy you're awake." And I'd just be like, "Oh, hey, man, how's it going?", "Oh, hey, dude, nice to see you again." because that's how you act when you can tell that someone recognizes you and you have no fucking clue who they are.”

Detective Timothy Drake and the Mysterious Case of the Unclaimed Dildo by JpegDotJpeg

Tim had a lot of experience with problem solving. Every goddamn day he was solving problems. There was no shortage of problems in Tim’s life. He’d learned how to deal with overbearing parents, underbearing parents, malfunctioning equipment, in-team conflict, lawsuits, emotional breakdowns, financial difficulty, broken ribs, ill-timed boners, and a whole host of other bizarre, anxiety-inducing, or life-threatening issues that plagued his existence.

None of them had prepared him for finding a dildo in the dishwasher.

I had so much fun reading this.

Little Overlooked Dreams by Lunette3002 for Marzue

Tim weighed his options. He was alone at night in some alleyway in Gotham. He had nothing except the clothes left on the ground by someone and the cloak wrapped around his skinny shoulders. His camera was nowhere in sight. His backpack was gone too.

He brought the device to his ear. “Hello?”

Whatever talking had been on the other end of the line immediately cut off at his hesitant greeting.

“Who is this?”

Family Photos by KelpieCodyne 

“I thought you quit your photo stalking?”

“In my defence, I never said I was quitting, and you never asked if I would,” Tim immediately counters. “So really, this is kind of on you.”

Just because Tim became a bat, doesn’t mean he stopped taking photos of bats. Several times Tim took photos of the batfamily, and one time they took photos of him.

One of my all time favorite fic. And only A03 users can read this fic too.

picture perfect memories by Fandom_Trash224 

“I… require assistance with something. I believe you are best-suited for it.”

Tim raises an eyebrow, but motions for the younger boy to enter his room. As Damian does, he slowly closes the door behind him, and Tim notices a small piece of what Tim assumes to be paper in Damian’s hand. Then, he realizes it’s not just a piece of paper: it’s a photo.

Damian approaches Tim, holding out the photo at arm’s length once he’s close enough to do so, saying, “I would like you to explain this photo to me.”

Tim glances down at it, and to both his surprise and mild horror, he recognizes the photo.

Only A03 users can read this fic.

Biphasic Reaction by renecdote

People may have allergic reactions all the time and be fine, but they can also die from them. He has a flash of sudden, morbid curiosity about what the exact statistics for fatal allergic reactions are.

Only A03 users can read this fic.

miles and miles (in their shoes) by JUBE514

Where is Damian? Why can’t he see anything clearly? Where is the little brat? Damian had been by him in the cave when everything had exploded, they had been arguing like always when the two of them had gotten the punishment to go clean the trophy room, stop yelling at each other, stop being at each other's throat for two minutes and go clean the goddamn trophy room-

They had been cleaning, got into another knock out drag out argument, and it had come so close to blows and they had been screaming more than cleaning and-

The stupid fucking shoe, in the magical section- exploded out-

--

Tim and Damian switch bodies, the two of them realize exactly why the other does the things they do.

The Waynes, Damsels in Distress by hitthedeck

Roses are red, violets are blue, Bruce Wayne and his kids get kidnapped every other week. Some things are just universal, undeniable facts of life.

Or, in which Bruce Wayne is still Batman and his kids are still Robins, but they keep letting themselves get kidnapped because they think it's funny.

Have You Seen My Kids!? by Cute_Bear

Five Times Bruce's kids interrupted him as Bruce Wayne and One Time they interrupted him as Batman with the Justice League.

This is not Tim - centric, but it has really nice batfam fluff.

ten cents richer by Ms_Trickster

You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

That’s how the saying goes. Take enough punches from the universe and eventually it becomes harder and harder to pop back up, to see the worth in fighting back, to stop yourself from turning around and delivering some punches of your own.

Tim never wanted to become the villain—

“Appendicitis,” Tim breathed in disbelief. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

—but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted to burn the world to ashes when shit like this kept happening to him.

A Saturday Evening by malcyon

Jonathan shrugs, catches the expression still on Tim’s face. “We did throw out the cyanide.”

“Only because it expired.”

“Marty.”

“Well, it did.”

*****

Kon invites Tim over for dinner. Tim's not sure if he should have accepted that invitation.

unfurl by shipyrds

"Hey, Dick," Tim says. He's in costume, and fiddling with his gloves, but he doesn't remove his mask: nervous, and trying to hide it. "You've had sex with aliens, right?"

"I'm not going to like where this is going, am I?" Dick says, resigned.

"How did you deal with the whole. Junk situation," Tim says, in his best professional Mission Report voice. Its success is kind of undermined with how red his face is below the domino. — Tim asks some questions. Bruce and Clark come to some realizations.

The Conner Kent Conspiracy Board by Hayleythewriter

Tim figures out Kon’s feelings before Kon does.

His Baby by Musafir

Bruce once made Tim a promise that he would never break, just have to reaffirm later in life.

“Hi Tim. I’m Bruce and I am always going to be here for you.”

Banshee In A Well by liverobinreaction (bugbee)

Tim is five years old when he drowns in his parents' pool. He dies quietly, waiting for parents who love him, but will never be there, to realise that something is wrong. They never show up, and he sinks into oblivion.

When he wakes up and claws his way out of the water, the sun has set, and the lights of his house are on. He is cold and wet and his lungs burn.

But most of all, Tim is alone.

(If you die and no-one is there to see it, were you ever alive in the first place?)

The Return by lurkinglurkerwholurks 

What the comics neglected to cover after Bruce returns from being lost in time.

Only a03 users can read this fic.

charity by Valkirin for Ms_Trickster

The biggest downside of being adopted by Bruce Wayne is putting up with rich people events, including one where Jason will be in a room with a bunch of rich kids for a couple very long hours while Bruce goes to the adults' meeting. Jason is ready for a very bad time but the Drake kid listens to him from the start and keeps backing up Jason's ideas even though they've never met.

Jason warms up to Tim Drake long before Mad Hatter tries to take over the meeting and Tim backs him up again.

city of stars by lovelyre

College friends-to-lovers AU with Tim Drake.

This is Tim drake x Reader fic. Trust me its really good.

Tricks of the Trade by Jazz020

Jason and Damian learn about Tim's fool proof method of getting what he wants from Superman

Security Updates by Jazz020

Hal, Clark, and Barry find an unexpected guest playing with the watchtowers security.

Vacation at the Watchtower by Jazz020

A continuation of Security Updates

It may have been a mistake to let Tim stay at the Watchtower while he heals from his injury but the kid really needed to get away from his brothers.

“Wait, what if I go to the Watchtower with you.” “I don't think-” “It’ll be great. I'll even help out if you need me to. I'll be the best unpaid intern the Justice League has ever had.”

Birthdays by Jazz020

Bruce was always aware that Jack and Janet Drake were bad parents, but every once in a while they give him an unfortunate reminder.

Loss by Jazz020

Out of all of Tim’s self-destructive tendencies, it was his willingness to die for his loved ones that frightened Alfred most.

Sick by Jazz020

Tim’s never quite figured out the proper behavior for someone who’s sick. Instead of resting, he often makes his way to the Watchtower.

We Can Work It Out by blackash26, Tigrislupa

Damian endeavors to make up for his treatment of Drake and apologize properly; however, Drake refuses to forgive him no matter what he does. Tim does his best to deny, avoid, and ultimately deal with the fact that the demon brat has a crush on him of all people. (Pulling pigtails never felt like quite such an understatement.) Meanwhile, the rest of the family takes sides.

In all of this, there's only one thing everyone agrees on.

Don’t tell Dick.

Only A03 users can read this fic.

you'll never find a thing like today by remrose

"I'm just saying, I don't think I've ever been to one of these things that hasn't ended in explosions," Bart tells them, eyes on the crowds as he tugs at the ends of his cuffs.

To the Boy Who Called Yesterday by Shirokokuro

Bruce wonders when six-year-old Tim changed, when he shed that sad look he’s wearing now.

Or, perhaps, when he got so good at hiding it.

Cough syrup by Stardustwrites17

It’s the coldest night in the year. So of course Tim falls into the Gotham-fucking-harbor.

Featuring a worried dad, Tim's missing spleen, and of course, Tim battling with himself between being independent and letting himself be loved.

Chili dogs seasoned with tears by Robin_The_Robiner

Ever so slowly, Tim looked down at his plate. On it was a steaming chili dog, topped with fried onions and fresh parsley.

“Oh.” he whispered.

· · ─────── ·��· ─────── · ·

Taking the place of a beloved dead boy was difficult, but Tim managed to do a decent job. He's smart, confident, and put together, so he wasn't effected by their devastating grief at all.

Tim is also a dirty little liar when it comes to his mental health.

A Pile Of Pillows By The Couch by reinersbigtits

Tim has always hated getting sick. He hates the haze and the pain. But, when he finds out his family is sick he jumps in to help without a second thought. However, without a spleen, he's incredibly susceptible to the illness and quickly realizes just how much he's missed out on.

Or: Tim Drakes repressed trauma followed by worried family feels and lots of comfort.

stepping on landmines by Ms_Trickster

There is a scar curved around Drake's neck that Damian does not understand.

So he asks Todd.

the butler's neighbor by deargalileo

It starts with a baseball, thrown onto the wayne's property. it's alfred's job to deal with such happenings, of course. but over tea and galas, it turns into so much more.

after all, why should bruce be the only one allowed to adopt any child that he finds?

Stranger than Fiction by foxy_mulder

"There are details in this document that absolutely no one should know unless they have inside information on us. There’s hints that they know our patrol schedules and regularly keep tabs on us. I don't know who's behind this, or what they want with Batman, but tracking the writer needs to be a priority."

"And this document is… a fanfiction?"

_________

(Tim Drake writes Batman fanfiction. He doesn't expect Batman to actually find it.)

There are many many more fics which i will post later. Have fun reading

[falloutjuli]

OHHH BOYYYY OKAY. HEAR ME OUT RIGHT. HEAR ME OUT.

BUCCI GANG WITH G/N!Y/N (PLATONIC OR ROMANTIC IDM <3) WHO IS AN ALIEN (Like from part 4) WHO'S LIKE PRETTY WELL ACCUSTOMED TO EARTH BUT ALSO. TENDS TO SHAPESHIFT INTO ANIMALS ACCIDENTLY WHEN THEY FEEL AN EXTREME EMOTION!!

like pissed at narancia because he broke their favourite cd? OHHHH BOY ITS A FUCKING CHIHUAHUA

Otherwise, have a lovely day and hopefully you've got some good requests to keep you busy, i know what it's like to be painstakingly bored lmao. if you don't feel like writing this one tho, that's fine :)

DRINK SOME WATER BTW. JUST. JUST A SIP. LIKE. A LITTLE SCHLURP.

I LOVE THIS IDEA SO MUCH THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME THINK ABOUT THIS!!

And thank you so much for your kind words, always means a lot! Drinking water as I'm writing this. And now other people who read this... DRINK SOMETHING. NOW.

Anyways, i think it's on the more platonic side, but i think it can also be interpreted as romantic. Hope you enjoy my little writing!

Same content warning as before, typed on phone by an unhinged person 😎

-------

Bucci Gang x Alien!GN!Reader - Shapeshifting adventures

-------

The boys and Trish are pretty used to your sometimes weird antics but when they bit by bit discovered the shape shifting? OH BOY.

They were all used to you messing up small things that were normal to them, like teaching you idioms and stuff. But this? This is a whole new level of crazy.

First. The Narancia incident.

It's Narancia, so he pretended to know nothing about no CD. Especially not broken ones he helped pick out. No no, he knows nothing about this, never even heard of CDs.

But you know him and his bullshit so you keep nagging him about it, getting agitated by his constant lies.

And just when you wanted to full on speak your mind to him, poof. Bark.

He stares at a little Chihuahua where just Y/N stood that looked like it was ready to bite him.

Once everything in his brain clicks, he laughs his ass off. Tears in his eyes, his laughter filling all of the house, eventually drawing in Abbachio who just wants some piece and quite and now has to deal with Narancia crying/laughing on the floor and a.... Chihuahua angrily barking at him.

It took a while until Abbachio got answers out of the younger one and once everything was explained (well, everything despite what happened to the CD) he went off to get the rest of the gang, trying to contain his laughter on the way.

So everyone was informed then. Fugo and Giorno were super interested in this newfound quirk you discovered, Bruno and Trish were worried at first but once they saw that you had suffered no harm or were stuck in the form their worries subsided. Abbachio found it a little funny but was also glad you were alright.

Meanwhile to Mista and Narancia it's the funniest shit they have ever seen. They keep referencing it. "Ohhh Mista, don't steal their desert or they might turn into a puppy again!"

Those two are true idiots and once they pushed you a little too far and you accidentally turned into a grizzly bear, they finally stopped. For while.

Bruno had that worry again. He wasn't sure if you could maybe hurt yourself or them if this kept happening but you kept assuring him that's you'd never. It's just the form that changes, never the Y/N inside of the form.

Trish and Giorno are super kind to you as always and would barely ever push you into such extrem emotions to the point of accidentally shifting.

Abbachio and Bruno will always look out for you and will tell the others to stop bothering you/calm you down if they deem it necessary. They are never pushy about it, especially not Abbachio.

Fugo is... Certainly something. You're sure if he too was from your planet he'd be a walking zoo with how easily angered he is. You two spoke about that once and Fugo never felt happier to be from Earth.

While Mista and Narancia can certainly drive you up the walls, they also know when it's too much and after you turning into a bear, they decided they would stop trying to set you off on purpose. (Especially since Narancia brought up the possibility of you turning into a dinosaur. Which they deemed cool. But scary.)

This doesn't mean they will stop bickering with you over tiny things.

Mista also called you once a "Discount Giorno." Nobody found it funny and Giorno was tempted to transform his newly bought shoes with Golden Experience but decided against it.

[scalproie]

for the character ask game: kuai, hanzo, bi-han, and smoke with 12, 15-20, and 22 :)

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Kuai: I like to think that in the 2nd timeline, post-alliance, kuai wouldve unknowingly taken some inspiration from hanzo's leadership of the shirai ryu to lead his own clan, reforming a lot of stifling rules to establish more of a community within the lin kuei members.

Hanzo: And similarly, especially after the trauma of having lost his entire clan, hanzo wouldve also unknowingly picked up a few things from kuai to lead the new shirai ryu, but rather than making changes to his clan's rules, he's doing most of the work on HIMSELF to lead it more "efficiently" and avoid past tragedies from happening again. Which, if mk11 didnt happened, would have resulted in both clans being similar enough that they have no issue partnering and temporarily switching members for missions, and, should it ever come to that, could even be merged as a single clan (as they once were after all), all thanks to the efforts of their grandmasters.

Bi-han: In the 1st and 2nd timeline, I wanna think bi-han initially did wanted to take the masters' attention and implied abuse away from kuai by being a cocky (but talented) little shit, but over the years the act became who he is as a person as he rose through the ranks to become the lin kuei's best assassin.

Smoke: 2nd timeline smoke literally Came Back Wrong, its impossible to tell where tomas the human boy sacrificed by a cult ends and where enenra the smoke demon begins, is he a human posessed by a demon? or a demon with a human's memory? He is neither completely from earthrealm nor the netherrealm, he belongs nowhere, hence why he has found a home in, and is extra protective of, the few friends he has made.

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

Subscorp for kuai and hanzo, Bireena for bi-han, and I guess Subsmoke wins by default for tomas (obv not the mk12 one). Im a basic bitch what can I say.

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

Everything else, im not a multishipper

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

Again I guess I'll go with subsmoke

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

Kuai and hanzo in the 2nd timeline over the course of three games... pretty good👍 (<- rewrote my brain chemistry). Bi-han and hanzo's rivalry is great. Smoke is underutilized but I do love that he and kuai will be friends in every timeline

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

EVERY relationship they all have could be better bc sadly we get our storytelling from a fucking fighting game, but I want kuai to have a better (not necessarily more positive) dynamic with frost, I want hanzo and harumi's relationship to be done justice, I want bi-han to have his childhood as well as kuai's explored and their history toward each other as brothers deepened (1st and 2nd timeline ESPECIALLY bc man. fuck mk12) and I want smoke to form one meaningful relationship that isnt tied to kuai.

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

Kuai: kitana

Hanzo: harumi/kenshi/jax/sonya (legends). For the loner of mk, he sure has a lot of bestie potential

Bi-han: sareena (the brotherhood of shadows really)/sektor & cyrax/fujin (I stand that he and fujin would have the funniest dynamic, especially as noob saibot. I want them to have a 80s buddy cop-like adventure together)

Smoke: jade/reptile/johnny

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

WHEN ITS WRITTEN BY MY FRIENDS honestly my wants are simple: I just like when theyre written as adult men raised in a very isolated at best, oppressive at worst (for the lin kueis in particular) environment with lots of unadressed trauma, I also dont like when theyre written as TOO openly romantic, these four men are aaall about repression of feelings (hanzo a little less so) so it'd all be about the subtle, little things. and pining for ages.

[eoieopda]

It's award season (unconfirmed)! Give some of your mutuals silly little awards. 🏆

ahh!! i love these 🥹 i can’t wait to spend too much time on this!! ✨

the 🏆 boba baby baddie award 🏆, for making me laugh through the horrors on this site, goes to….

@yoongukie-ff @blog-name-idk

the 🏆 cunning linguist award 🏆, for coming up with the funniest shit i’ve ever heard in my life and adding to my vocab and/or bad joke repertoire daily, goes to…

@yoongiphoria @daechwitatamic

the 🏆 seriously, can you just write a novel and/or hbo show already? ffs award 🏆, for cinematic world-building, incredible story-telling, and impeccable word-smithing, goes to…

@sailoryooons @hamsterclaw @kithtaehyung

the 🏆 my life got a lot brighter and slightly more crackheaded when i found you award 🏆, for being a blessing upon my dashboard/household/discord and feeding my brain rot, goes to…

@xjoonchildx @ugh-yoongi @gimmethatagustd @goddessjichu and (even though M isn’t on here anymore) @here2bbtstrash

the 🏆 i don’t necessarily remember who i was before i met you, but i’ll cry if i think about it and am just, like, ??? thankful ?? fuck?? award 🏆 for dragging my limp body out of mental health jail and fireman carrying me through the day, goes to…

really? is it not obvious? it’s @jihopesjoint, duh.

[eufezco]

#SUMMARY — your lovely night with fezco gets interrupted by a friend of yours.

#WARNING — english isn't my first language.

#GENRE — fluff, angst (?), mention of sex 1 time

You loved this, it was like your safe place and you waited all week for this moment. It was like a routine; every Friday night, you'd stay at Fezco's, you'd have the funniest time watching a movie with him and Ash, sharing a couch with your boyfriend and enjoying his hands in your hair, and then, you'd go to his room, have the greatest sex ever and finally fall asleep between his arms. But tonight was different.

You were lying on the couch, head on Fezco's legs while his fingers played with your hair when someone started knocking on the door like crazy. As a reflex, you sat down and looked at Ash and then to Fezco, who was ready to open the door. "We good ma'." He wasn't expecting anything bussiness related, not on a Friday night when he keep it for youespecially for you. Fezco glanced at Ashtray who was just as confused as his brother. You moved to the other couch feeling scared and seeking refuge next to Ashtray. Your boyfriend checked through the window who was outside before unlocking the door.

"What's up kid?" You heard your boyfriend and both you and Ash let out a sigh, relieved. "You look like shit." Rue bursted into the house looking all sweaty and heavily breathing.

"Yeah, I fuckin' feel like shit. I think I'm going through withdrawl and I- I need something."

Fez closed the door shut. "I can't help you. I don't have nothin' here." Rue huffed. After the raid, Fezco found a safer place that allowed him to keep his business away from his house, and since you were around most of the time, it was better this way because he didn't want to put you in any danger.

"You gotta have something. That's bullshit."

"Don't know what to tell you. I don't keep nothin' at the house no more." The girl huffed at your boyfriend again.

"Hi Rue Rue." You smiled at her, relieved that it wasn't anything related with Fezco's bussiness.

"Oh hey. How you doing?" You answered her that you were doing great and asked her how she was doing back.

"I have never been better." She looked at your boyfriend again. "Can I- Can I use your bathroom?" Fezco nodded. He went after Rue and you followed him, leaving some distance. Both of you stopped when she entered the bathroom.

"Where did you come from?" Rue didn't answer. You gave your boyfriend a worried look. "Yo, you all right in there?"

"Rue, are you okay?" You insisted and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Don't- I'm fucking- I'm shittin' my brains out. Please, guys, go away." You frowned, why you couldn't believe her?

"You want some Pepto Bismol or somethin'?" You heard her shouting a "No. Just go away" to your boyfriend. He stopped insisting.

"Should we go back to the living room or..?" Fezco nodded and hugged your waist with one of his arms and gave a quick peck to your lips.

Ashtray wasn't worried at all. He was just there on the couch watching the TV as nothing happened. He must be so used to Rue irrupting like this. Fezco sat down and you curled up in his lap. "Imma go and see how she's doin'." Fezco said after a few minutes and moved your body carefully. You were ready to go after him. "Stay here with Ash." You were worried about him, of course about Rue too, but you kinda knew how a person going through withdrawal could act. You did as he said until you started to overhear the conversation they were having.

"I'm in a lot of pain, Fez please."

"Give it to me! Let go!","You gotta leave the house."

What the fuck was going on? Disobeying Fezco's orders, you got up from the couch and followed the sound of their voices. What are they doing there? Seeing the door of his grandma's room open was extremely weird. Even more if someone was in the house besides him, Ash and you. You were getting to the room the moment you saw Rue pushing your boyfriend out of there with such an extraordinay force. Fezco's body slamming into the wall of the hall and you covering your mouth as soon as your boyfriend hit the wall. "Fez!" Not giving you enough time to reach him and angry as hell, he got into the room again chasing after Rue. Your boyfriend took her between his big arms and dragged her out of the room.

"Stay fuckin' away y/n!" Fez shouted at you. You stepped back sticking your body to the wall. Rue was kicking the air as she tried to scape your boyfriend's grip. He held her tighly but she was angry, nervous and going through withdrawal so Fezco needed to use more force than he would've ever used with Rue.

"We not doin' this shit today! Not with her here!" Rue was calming down after she realized that she couldn't escape your boyfriend.

"I'm sorry y/n, I'm sorry, please Fez you don't have to take me-" He opened the door and kicked Rue out of the house. A still angry Fez turned around after closing the door, not wanting to know anything else about the girl. He walked past you and got himself into his room, slamming the door after him. You went to the door of the house and watched your friend lying on the ground.

"Do you need me to call your mom or something?" She almost didn't let you finish your question after hearing the word mom, she said a "No. Shit, I'm fine." She wasn't, and you'd definitely call her mom later. "I'm sorry Rue, I wish I could help you."

"Baby can I come in?" You knocked gently. This hasn't been a nice situation for you either but it was Fezco the one that dealt physically and mentally with Rue and if he needed some space you'd give it to him, you just wanted to check if he was okay. You heard a soft mumble from him meaning that you could come in. Fez was sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows on his knees and his hands covering his face. "How are you feeling?" You closed the door again and kneeled in front of him, moving away his hands so you could see his face.

"I'm sorry 'bout all that." He didn't need to be sorry. You shook your head. This wasn't his fault.

"Don't apologize Fez." You gave him some time before you spoke again, his glossy eyes telling you indirectly that he needed it.

"She tried to steal grandma's pills and shit." You now understood why Fez acted like that.

"You did what you had to do. She doesn't need more pills, she needs help. And that was something so wrong for her to do. You did good Fez. And I'm fine so there's no need to say sorry." His hands felt enormous between yours. His big blue eyes staring at you while you comfort him. "Did she hurt you?" Fez shook his head. "Come on let me see." You stood up and Fez leaned forward, his head against your belly so you could've access to his back. You lifted his t-shirt, revealing the skin of his back. It was red but nothing that would kill him. "If It hurts I can put you some lotion, I think it'll alleviate you." Your hand ran across his irritated skin.

"Nah I'm good. Thank you tho." Fez put his t-shirt back on as he got up from the bed. "You good?" He asked back, you nodded.

"I'm perfectly fine I promise."

Fez fell into your arms, hugging your body and hiding his face on the crook of your neck. "I love yo', I'm sorry."

You caressed the back of his head. "It's all good baby."

[fillinforlater]

Enough negativity! Tell me five of your favorite fanfics posted this year that aren’t yours and why you like them!

2021: Smite’s Appreciative Recap

When I think back to what I have read this year, I can find many, many different fics by different writers that fascinated, encouraged or enchanted me. Picking only 5 is hard, but I think these are my favorites:

@worldsover: Upper Flower Lower

This masterpiece by the legendary Levi is the biggest reason I am a writer now. I have never been so blown away by a smut-story before. The descriptive writing is immaculate, the kinky positions hit my taste just right, and the characters he is able to build in the mean time are just incredible. They have depth, they have ideas, they have wishes... hell they even have weaknesses and feel eerily relatable.

Levi, I will not stop mentioning you. You are the GOAT for me and if you read this: Have a great 2022 and stay absolutely amazing. Thank you <3

@usedpidemo: Last Resort

While writing this, I found myself re-reading it. This untouchable, absolute piece of art scares the everliving shit out of me. I feel each of those short sentences. They pierce right through me. My stomach turns every time, OC hates himself, hates Minju, hates God. And dammit, I can cry the saltiest tears when I see an alternative version of myself, standing at that cliff and doing the exact same thing.

And when this rushed ending hits, I feel cathartic, because I now realize again that it is good that I'm still alive. Pi, your choice of words, your sentence structure, and your reader-characterization in this one are pure perfection, absolutely astonishing. I see incredible talent and unlimited potential in you.

You might one day write the greatest fic I have ever read. Or you already did, with this one. Thank you <3

@ggidolsmuts: Aegyo Avoidance

I can't find a lot of words for this one. Why, you may ask? Because my brain literally melted during this. This is the greatest corruption story ever, and even though it is obvious, it still in insanely satisfying. The build up: Perfect. The tease before the breaking point: Perfect. The breaking point: Beyond Perfect. Ddeun, how in the world are you this bloody good?

There is also this sentence I can't get over it: "Please Unnie, I don't want to be Minju angel, I'll be Minju cumdump,..." It might be the greatest, most satisfying one I have ever read in kpop smut. Thank you, for this legendary Masterpiece <3

@existslikepristin: Movie Night

I love this story so much. ELP is one of the most talented writers in general, but he excels in two things in particular: Comedy and Character. The SinB in this one might be my favorite idol character ever. She is hilarious, cocky, impatient, playing dumb or being dumb and yet still a little timid. 

While OC and SinB tell each other stories (very funny, sexy stories) I felt like falling in love with this woman. And when they finally fuck for real, I was officially bias-wrecked for GFRIEND. Although Eunha is fighting pretty hard to get up there... (she is also in this ofc)

Movie Night makes me feel cozy, like I’m just listening to the funniest sex story by my best female friend that I even get to fuck. ELP, you fucking legend. Thank you <3

@iznsfw: Crybaby and @kaedewrites: Birthday

I know, I cheated. But IDC. For me, both of these absolute super rookies deserve to be on here and both of them dropped a very early, extremely shocking Chaewon fic. I did not want to decide...

IZ’s Crybaby still sticks with me, although he clearly is the king of writing Eunbi. Is there like a whole company behind you, putting them out faster than Sonic? Anyways, I loved the dark background story, Chaewons revenge, the crying-kink and how it backfires... and of course: the knife. 

Kaede’s Birthday literally included pegging. In his first fic. Ever. What a mad lad, I love him so much! This will always be connected with 2021, with the start of my and your writing, Kaede. I wish you nothing but the best and please, stay a little crazy and drop another Birthday like masterpiece (with Empty, you already did. Keep it coming.)

I thank both of you <3

Everyone, have a great new year! 2022 <3

(If you read all of this: Wow! You are also a fucking legend xoxo)

[formulinos]

someone just recommended portrait of a lady on fire and i have the funniest story to tell (very minor spoilers?)

so, as you all know, i had chikungunya in 2019 and that led me to a hospital stay and ever since my life has been hell because it was the trigger to my fibromyalgia. while now i’m functional and besides in times of pain crisis i can like… live, back in 2019 was a very different picture and i spent most of the second semester in bed basically.

there is a film festival where i’m from that was going to show a few movies i really wanted to see, and that included obviously portrait of a lady on fire which was a must for me because wlw. i couldn’t take long distance trips even to change neighbourhoods, so we had to go for a 22:00 showing in our own. it was ok bc the cinema was in a shopping mall and we could go grab some hambagas before. i was super grateful bc it was my first time going out for entertainment since my illness. my mom was also super hyped bc it was her first time attending an lgbtqia+ even as a gay ally (she became one after watching orange is the new black). we were DOWN for it.

when the movie is about to start, my medication alarm rings. i was at the time using two different meds: corticoids once a day in a fucked up high dose, for the control of the acute inflammatory state my whole body was in, and paracetamol + codeine every 8 hours, for the control of the acute pain state my whole body was in. now, i don’t know if you guys ever messed with opioids, i wouldn’t wish it even to the williams garage. the thing is that it makes your brain’s capacity of caring log off and your body becomes like a heavy mush. you get sleepy and you’re not really able to move, but you’re still able to feel the pain, so it’s just like a psychological way of making the pain bearable until your brain zaps back to “i understand what pain means” mode and you go back to aching. also, you pee a lot once the effect starts to get weaker. i understand that in higher doses you stop feeling the pain, but i didn’t want the risks that come with it. i still, in fact, take the same medication now but my illness is relatively controlled so i only take it when i have crisis episodes, which is rare but it happens.

i took the medication while the trailers were on and normally it starts kicking in 30 min later, and boy did it kick. i go mush right at the beginning and usually, the next two hours it peaks before it starts to drop, the whole process takes around 6 hours i think? anyway. it’s not a spoiler what i’m about to say, just a fact. portrait of a lady on fire is a french artsy film, and with it, it makes artsy choices. there are long periods of silence, whispered dialogues, long, long shots of nature and fireplaces crackling, etc. as i’m watching it, i keep feeling more and more sleepy and mushy. i’m still aware of things however, and the truth hits me in a terrible manner: the movie is mid. it’s not bad, but it’s overrated. mid. i start feeling REALLY shit because i wanted to enjoy a movie i was highly anticipating as an oasis in the middle of the desert of shit my life was but instead i was overfixating on the fact that for the first time i saw a lesbian movie i didn’t like. i was also super ashamed as a letterboxd bro. and i was fucking zonked out on codeine at 10:30 pm in an uncomfortable movie seat. but then the absolute dread hit. if i didn’t enjoy it when the movie was tailor made for me, then my 50 year old-just found out about the gays-dyslexic-ADHD mom would probably…. oh god oh fuck. she was snoring beside me.

at this moment i’m fully panicking like this is hell i want the sweet embrace of death or better, just to go home. with what little strength i have i wake my mom up and ask for help, she goes in full panic mode bc she thinks i’m having an episode that the medication didn’t take care of and so she says “we’re going now”. she takes me by my arm, we get some balance and when we’re about to get up… they kiss.

my mom is like “fuck we can’t leave now. they’re gonna think we’re homophobes”. i’m like “it’s not that serious no one will care i’m feeling bad” and mom is like “take a look around”. literally only film bros and/or gay people. we were gonna end up looking like homophobes if we left and my mom would be dead before laura prepon and natasha lyonne somehow found out about it after seeing a video go viral of us being called homophobes by an entire movie theatre. so we stayed.

for the last whole hour of the movie mom would just drift in and out of sleep while i’d quietly mourn what was supposed to be one of my favourite movies ever. the movie was over and it legit took us 15 minutes to leave bc at that point i was Mega Mush and could barely stand up. my mom still doesn’t know the story but whenever she talks about it she says “their love was beautiful”. yeah mom of course it was.

i have since rewatched it and while i no longer have the panic and admit it was better than the codeine state of pain i was in, i still think it’s a bit mid. but if any straight man asks me, i say it’s the best movie of 2019. they don’t need to know.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans �� nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[tlcwrites]

Two Hearts Make a Whole

Prompt: “Kiss me again, like you mean it.” Photo prompt below.

Summary: NYC Pride is for celebration, and occasionally, long-overdue revelations.

Word Count: 2,001

Tags/Content warnings: Marvel. Stucky. If you have a problem with it, there's the door. SFW. Slight TFATWS spoilers so read at your own risk. Platonic Reader. Two idiots in love. Technically canon-divergent because I'm still in my everyone-is-alive-and-in-this-timeline happy place that I will never ever leave fuck you very much Russo brothers but not AU. Found family. All the feels. Complete and total LGBTQ+ support. Lots of bad language words because #me. Un-beta'd.

Author’s Note: Okay so yes this is technically 4 weeks late for @autumnleaves1991-blog's Writer Wednesday weekly challenge. BUT, it was incredibly important to me to finish this one before Pride month is over. Made it by the skin of my teeth.

Happy Pride, y’all. If you’re out, you’re amazing. If you’re closeted, you’re amazing. However you identify is valid and important. Trans folx are LGBTQ+. Bisexuals are LGBTQ+. Ace folx are LGBTQ+. Anyone who identifies or thinks they may be as queer is LGBTQ+. All are welcome in the family. You have the right to choose your pronouns and we have the responsibility to use them. Live whatever your truth looks like to you and love each other. Love is love is love is love. If your family doesn’t accept you for you, I’m your mom now and I’ve got mom hugs available on demand. Homophobes and TERFS can fuck off and roll in poison ivy. Always punch Nazis. Pride shouldn't be limited to the month of June. And don’t you dare forget that Black and Brown trans women were the ones who rioted at Stonewall, and we owe everything to their bravery. Don’t forget that much of popular ‘gay’ culture was appropriated from Black women. And for more facts about Pride that you should absolutely know, Rawiyah Tariq (@ mammyisdead on Instagram) has a phenomenally good overview.

“Oh my god.” You gasp loudly. "Oh my GOD. Is that-"

“What?!” Instantly in First Avenger Protective Mode™️, Steve surveys the crowd, wishing he had an actual shield instead of the screen printed one on his shirt. “What is it?”

You gasp again, smacking Sam’s arm repeatedly. “OHMYGOD IT IS HOLY FUCK.”

“First; ow.” Now-Cap rubs his bicep. “Second; clue in the class before Steve has an aneurysm, please.”

Vibrating with excitement doesn’t begin to describe your current state. “HER ROYAL HIGHNESS MISS LEMON MERINGUE IS STANDING RIGHT FUCKING THERE.”

With the finesse of a shampoo commercial, Bucky's dark locks fly as he whips around. “What?!”

“RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE RIGHT THERE.” You abandon a relieved Sam and latch on to Bucky’s vibranium arm. “Oh my GOD I love her so fucking much.”

“She was robbed, absolutely fucking robbed,” he agrees, craning his neck to get a better view. “Divine Tension’s lip sync was shameful.”

Sam glances at Steve, who is slowly coming out of protector mode. “What the ever-loving hell are they talking about?”

“RuPaul’s Drag Race.” Nat flicks more confetti at both Cap-the-former and Cap-the-current. “They watch it every week.”

“Really, Steven, for a guy with enhanced super senses, you miss a lot.” Tony hefts a bedazzled Morgan higher on his back. The toddler, accompanied by Scott playing air-piano on the ground, sings along with the ABBA song being blasted at full volume through the street. Tony continues as if this is an everyday occurrence. “Why do you think both of your People disappear every Friday evening?”

Ears pink, Steve mumbles something.

“What?!” The only other one with hearing enhanced enough to hear a murmur over the cacophony of several thousand people belting out the chorus of ‘Dancing Queen’ at the top of their lungs, Bucky turns to stare at his friend. “You thought we were datin’?”

Steve’s blush extends down his neck.

You and Bucky stare at each other for a moment before you both collapse on each other, exploding into stomach clenching, thigh slapping laughter.

“I’m gonna guess that’s a ‘no’?” Clint confirms with Nat.

“Oh, a big ‘no’.” She watches affectionately as you and Bucky calm down enough to look at each other, breathe for a second, and both promptly dissolve into hysterics once more. “Like, the biggest ‘no’.”

Sam crossed his arms across his chest, his stoic stance so reminiscent of Steve it’s amusing (as well as a beautiful disparity to the sequined crop top he’s sporting. Oof, those abs.). “How do I not know about this?”

“Because you’re not a former super spy?” The usually-Black-but-today-Rainbow Widow tosses the last of her confetti at Tony, who spins a jubilant Morgan into it. “Or because you and that leggy barista from the lobby coffee shop are too busy playing hide-the-“

“-Baby Shark!” Morgan suddenly shrieks, flailing towards a guy on roller blades wearing a fin and tail (and not much else).

“Yeah,” Nat finishes with a smirk, “Hide-the-Baby Shark.”

Sam flips her a gesture that makes Clint laugh and Bruce sigh.

You and Bucky have finally managed to pull yourselves together. “Oh my god, Steven Grant,” you gasp, wiping tears from your eyes. “That’s the funniest fucking shit I’ve ever fucking heard.”

“Language!”

Steve glares at Tony. “One. Time. It was one. Time.”

Bucky slings his flesh arm around Steve’s shoulders. “Oh, punk. You may have perfect vision now, but sometimes you’re still as blind as you were before.”

Visiortn himself nods sagely. “Humans can be quite unperceptive when it comes to matters of the heart.” Vision casts a fond smile at Wanda, who is using her powers to make Pietro’s tinsel wig fly on and off. “Sometimes you have to look harder to see what’s right in front of your nose.”

A confused frown on that handsome face, Captain Clueless looks at Bucky. “Why do I feel like everyone else knows something that I don’t?”

His bestie sighs deeply. “Because, Stevie, almost everyone else on this planet knows that my tastes tend towards tall, blonde, blue-eyed knuckleheads who have zero sense of self-preservation.”

“And an ass you could bounce a quarter off of,” Scott helpfully supplies.

“And that,” Bucky agrees.

Steve frowns.

You press your palms to your eyes in vexation. “You, Steve. He’s talking about you.” (Seriously, how has this idiot survived for over a century while being so dumb?)

Whatever he was expecting, it was certainly not that. “He-“ The Man With A Plan gapes as he turns to his oldest friend. “You-“

“Me,” Bucky says gently.

Even though you’re slightly surprised that Bucky is going to do this in such a public forum, you can’t help but be so proud of your friend. It has taken a long time for Bucky to believe he deserves to be happy. There are days he still sinks into that dark place, where his inner demons whisper that he should have fought harder against his Hydra captors, and that his past actions were still somehow his fault. Those are the days no amount of baking or Modern Marvels will bring him out of his funk. You, Steve, Sam, and Nat have all held those strong shoulders as they shook with sobs, overwhelmed by the shame and horror at what his hands had done without his consent.

But he’s here. He’s free. And he’s smiling nervously at his best friend.

“I-” Steve is short-circuiting. “Me?!”

“Stevie.” With the kind of tender patience that can only be born of a lifetime of keeping (or attempting to keep) an idiot such as one Steven Grant Rogers from flinging himself headlong into every fight he comes across, Bucky moves his flesh hand to the back of Steve’s neck. His face is full of such soft affection that you almost want to look away for fear of intruding on this suddenly intimate moment. “What do you think ‘til the end of the line’ means, you idiot? You’ve been it for me since I was thirteen-years-old.”

Blue eyes are locked with blue eyes as Steve processes this revelation. “I-” He shakes his head as if to declutter his thoughts. “This whole time?”

“Since the first time I saw that asshole knock you down, and your scrawny ass climbed right back up.” A wry chuckle escapes as Bucky reminices. “You were ninety pounds soaking wet, and you stood there, against a guy who was three times your size, and never waivered for a second. It was magnificent.”

“I don’t like bullies,” is Steve’s quiet response.

Bucky’s grin is adoring. “I know, sweetheart.” He gently strokes the back of Steve’s neck with his thumb. “You’ve always had a heart way bigger than your brain.”

Steve is still back on the first part of Bucky’s admission. “If you’ve felt- if you-” He’s practically pleading. “Why didn’t you say anything then?”

Bucky shrugs, attempting and failing nonchalance. “It was a different time, you know?” He’s uncharacteristically unsure of himself, the subtle waiver in his voice revealing the anxiety born of a lifetime of being forced to hide his truth. “I mean, you remember how it was; you didn’t talk about, no one talked about- about being- about people like...” He swallows thickly.  “And I was so scared you didn’t, that you weren’t-” His voice breaks.

Even though you’ve all been emotionally invested in this love story for years, the entire team respectfully pretends not to listen as the former Winter Soldier quietly admits his deepest secret to his closest friend. It’s enraging as Bucky confesses yet another way he's been a victim of his circumstances, and denied his right to live freely without derision. Once more, you’re awed by his resilience.

“-it was a risk I couldn’t take,” Bucky finally gets out, that stubborn fire back in his eyes. “I couldn’t lose you, Steve. I couldn’t chance it. I could live with just being your friend and only your friend so long it meant you were in my life.”

Stunned silence meets the end of his confession. Steve’s face is impassive, those cerulean eyes uncharacteristically inscrutable.

You can all tell Bucky is heading steadily towards dread and heartbreak the longer Steve takes to respond. You and Sam exchange a look, both ready to intervene if Steve demonstrates any of the abhorrent attitudes that were so prevalent in the society of his youth. It would be completely out of character for him, but...

Finally, Steve speaks. “You’re telling me,” he says, his words slow and deliberate, “that you made me wait ninety-three years to tell me you’ve felt the same way about me as I have about you since the day you picked me up out of that alley?!”

The whole found family breaths a collective sigh of relief as Steve pulls Bucky even closer, broad chest to broad chest.

“Okay, to be fair, you were an ice cube for most of that time and I wasn’t exactly available for a relationship.” Bucky’s grin stands in contradiction to his mullish defense. “But yeah, that’s the gist of it.” There’s the Bucky you all know and love, biting his lip with those perfect white teeth. “Now, punk, I’d really like to kiss you now, but first I need you to say you want me to.”

“You-” Steve’s throat works as he attempts- and fails- to rein in his emotions. “You jerk.”

And then the Star Spangled Man seizes the president of the Sometimes-Former-Assassins Club by his ridiculously perfect face and crashes their mouths together.

At any Pride event, seeing two men kissing is, obviously, to be expected. But seeing The First Avenger and The White Wolf attempting to swallow each other’s tongues is not at all routine. As people realize what is happening, the crowd is whipped into a frenzy the likes of which is usually reserved for the aftermath of sporting events and elections that defeat fascists.

Watching the two men embrace, Scott sniffles loudly. “I’m gonna cry, I’m so happy.”

He’s certainly not the only one. Wanda has a watery smile as she wraps her arms around Vision and Pietro; Pepper, Tony, and Bruce are watching with fond parental energy; you and Sam sandwich Peter between the two of you, grins practically splitting your faces. Even Nat’s eyes look suspiciously shiny and she and Clint sling their arms around each other with platonic affection. And that’s not counting the several thousand people who are cheering for love being love being love being love.

When they finally break their embrace, the Centennial twins are startled to see they’ve collected quite an audience.

“Uh, so…” Suddenly bashful, Steve glances back to his- partner? Boyfriend? Soulmate? Is there a word that can accurately describe two people who have found each other time and again in a world that seems hell-bent on keeping them apart?- his ears practically maroon with embarrassment. For a guy with one of the most-recognized faces in the world, Steve is still incredibly and endearingly uncomfortable with attention. “Buck?”

Bucky seems just as stunned as Steve.

Thankfully, the masses demonstrate the usual support that’s the hallmark of Pride. “LOVE IS LOVE!” someone screams in the crowd. It’s quickly echoed, and chants fill the park.

The attention momentarily off them, the former Winter Soldier and his giant himbo of a soulmate look back at each other. You pretend not to watch through the happiest tears as they embrace again, bringing their foreheads together. The relief they share is palpable, as they’re finally able to show the world- and each other- the love they’ve each hidden for so long.

Bucky’s voice is so soft you have to strain to hear it. “You have no idea how much m’in love with you, Stevie.”

“Pretty sure I do,” Steve answers, bringing a hand up to carefully wipe the tears from Bucky’s face. “‘cause it’s as much as I love you, Buck.”

Bucky's answering grin can only be described as saucy. “Then kiss me again, like you mean it.”

And Steve, for once in his long life, does exactly as ordered.

---

A/N: “The Sometimes-Former-Assassins Club” is from Starry_Emerald173’s BRILLIANT The Avengers Wrangler over on AO3. If you haven’t read it yet, drop what you’re doing and do so immediately. Make sure you're not drinking any liquids, or your keyboard/phone may be in peril.

[teeth-and-tea]

ANIME & MANGA I HAVE BINGED IN THE LAST MONTH: May 2021

I've Been Hunting Slimes for the Past 300 Years and Now Ive Maxed Out My Level: incredibly long name aside, cute af slice of life that suffers Same Face Syndrome. I'm still happy to watch it because of how feel good and fluffy it is though, Im probably gonna forget about it in two or three years tho. 8/10.

Don't Toy With Me, Miss Nagatoro: I found out this was a webcomic first and suddenly all the HORNINESS made so much more sense. A Femdom, Degradation, Humiliation, Dacryphilia Bullies to Lovers story disguised as a high school rom-com which, I'm not going to lie, misses SKEEVY CITY by mere inches on a regular basis. However, I'm a Dom/Switch and this entire relationship sets off my dom brain center like New York City just shy of midnight. So if you're into that sort of scene, this anime is for you. If not, it's still fascinating but you're probably gonna be a little put off by how mean the Girl!Bully is to the guy MC. Unless you find out something about yourself, in which case, congrats! Stay safe, sane, consensual, and learn about the traffic light system on top of safe words, I promise you'll have a better life in general after that. Still Ongoing, currently 10/10.

Fruits Basket: IM GONNA CRY I LOVE THIS ANIME SO MUCH???? The original anime came out when I was in... I think middle school and my parents were really strict on what I watched so I never got to experience the first wave and I never bothered to watch the show ever after I moved out of the house years later. However, now that I'm much older I honestly can say this is one of my favorite anime to date, and all the characters are charming, lovable, with their own problems that I can connect to or sympathize with, and I love the MC which is always a treat tbh. Except Akito. Akito can suck a sandpaper dick. I'm only on S2 tho so no spoilers! Anime 11/10.

Monster Girl Doctor: went in thinking it was gonna be a monster girl who's a doctor with a homoerotic assistant (her name is SAPPHY okay sue me for thinking it) and ended up watching the entire dubbed harem series. Honestly, I've seen worse and this one has consistent follow-through on interesting characters and backstory enough for me to shove aside the blatant under-monstrousness of the female monsters and the harem-ness of everything else. Dubbing is honestly really good, which is a treat, and the monster designs are not the worst and the MC is tolerable. Honestly, I don't mind having watched it! The mix of cgi and the traditional animation together work pretty strangely though, and it often doesn't flow super well. 7.5/10

So I'm a Spider, So What: Dubbed version which honestly isn't that bad. Took me a bit to get into it, but after realizing that it's got a mismatched timeline a la The Witcher, it made so much more sense. Heavily done in cgi, and you can definitely tell between the 2D and 3D animations, but not the worst in the world. I went in not expecting much but it ended up being an Issekai I can stand and even enjoy. On god has a decent story... with the spider. I'd be a liar if I didnt say I skipped some of the human parts just to get back to the best part of the show. 8/10.

Somali and the Forest Spirit: I'm so fucking nostalgic for this thing it makes me want to go and hug my dad. About a human girl under threat of being eaten with a monster-dominated world. Very obvious "humans fear what they don't understand" message but instead of the humans learning tolerance it's what happens when they get annihilated first so like, kudos for the mangaka for having the guts to do that. I cried like a baby regularly. It's really good, I watched the dub and ID WATCH IT AGAIN!!! 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Oh my god. O h my g o d. Fell in love on the first episode, ngl. About if an immortal being learned how to be a person from scratch. I love it. HOWEVER. Keep a box of tissues on you at all times because you're gonna need them. I'm only on EP7 because that's all that's out right now but just know. I love it. Not for everyone but certainly for my "what do we define as human and the human condition" ass. 12/10.

Those Snow White Notes: A sports anime without any sports. About shamisen playing which is cool because I never realized how cool this instrument was??? Its neat af. OP1&2 are by Burnout Syndrom so know theyre fire. Gonna be real, its pretty alright, but not extraordinary. You can tell they were using the characters as archetypes rather than actually characters which kinda kills a lot of the emotional value you could've had, but I'm still gonna watch it. It doesn't make me cringe as hard as other sports anime tho so I consider it toptier in that regards but if you're a big sports anime fan you might be bummed out by it. Every single musical performance is INCREDIBLE tho. A solid 8/10.

Toilet Bound Hanako-kun: THE ART OMFG IT'S SO GORGEOUS. Listen, if you took coptic markers and gave them an animation budget with some manga panel direction thrown in there, that's this anime. It's beautiful. Gorgeous. I'm in love with the aesthetic every second. Story? Really good. Characters? I love the MC and his evil little twin brother asshat. Demons? Not super imaginative but I'm carrying on happy as can be anyways. Dubbing? A bit shaky at times but I found the voices charming if a little off for some of them. I'm already waiting for the second season with popcorn at the ready. 10/10.

Prison School: I watched this directly after Hanako-kun and it was like I got slapped in the face by sweaty unwashed titties and some fedora wearing schmuck's piss kink. No character is likable or redeemable. I finished it, but at what cost? 2/10 and only because a character shit his pants and I laughed.

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle: watched this right after Prison School and it was NECESSARY tbh. Its so CUTE and honestly, im not even kidding you, the fucking funniest anime I've seen in months. I watched the dub and the VAs are having the time of their lives working on this anime not just giving it their all but literally just going ham. Its great. If I read this im sure id be bored outta my mind but the VAs giving it a joyous performance make it an insta fave for me tbh. 9/10.

Sk8 the Infinity: i watched the dub with my bro and I can confirm that its a spectacular show because we both loved it and we have vastly different tastes. Incredibly SUSPENSFUL AND STRESSFUL for an anime about skateboarding but we finished it in a single sitting tbh. The last episode is not dubbed for some reason but we still loved it. Like if Free! was less obnoxious but the only fan-service here is Joe ♡ a beefcake who owns my lesbian heart. I think there's exactly one named female character tho and I legit couldn't tell you what it was if there was a gun to my head. So, over all, 9.5/10.

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime: I'm going to be entirely honest, I went in thinking it was going to be a boring isekai of no value. I was right about the Isekai part. It was honestly pretty interesting and focused on nation building like you're playing civilization rather than the usual "Get Stronger" narrative or "Get Some Pussy" narrative most isekais take which is delightfully refreshing. Granted there are flavors of that in this which means it doesn't alienate the big isekai watchers out there, but it's not the whole dish and it doesn't make me want to cringe the same way others do. You've got a slime MC just vibing and building a nation of monsters nbd. Does lose points for making the female monsters more humanoid than their male counterparts but makes them back by only doing perfunctory fan-service and nothing that makes me want to cry... except the butt sumo episode but in fairness it was all a terrible dream. Literally, the MC refuses to dream anymore after that. solid animation, decent voice acting, decent story, made me realize how HUGE this is in the Light Novel community???? There's like 18 fucking novels and that's WILD. 8.5/10.

MANGA:

Spirit Photographer Saburo Kono: a one shot special by the mangaka of The Promised Neverland! Honestly a really delicate touch of both super creepy and really touching, and I'm not gonna lie I'm bummed that this isn't a bigger project but the single chapter makes it a good taste for their style. I've been wondering if I wanna read/watch The Promised Neverland and now I think I will. 10/10

Deranged Detective Ron Kamonohashi: from the mangaka of Hitman Reborn comes this Sherlock and Watson derivative! Not even 20 chapters out yet with a sort of spotty schedule, I honestly love it even thought it's exactly as you expect. HOWEVER. Kamonohashi the "Sherlock" character uses mental pressure to kill all confirmed murderers and it's up to Toto the "Watson" character to save all those people before Kamonohashi kills them! It's just recently introduced a "Moriarty" family of crime lords (not a big spoiler don't worry it was obvious) so the tension surrounding Ron's past is amping up rn. Personally, I think the art is GORGEOUS, the characters engaging, and the story quick enough to keep my interest. Most mysteries are solved within a chapter or two so you're not stuck 20 chapters into one locked room mystery which is just peachy tbh. RN, 10/10. If this gets an anime, I anticipate a legion of fangirls who ship the two main characters along with their many friends. I've been alive too long to believe otherwise.

Don't Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro: Yeah I read the manga after I watched the show. A slower build than the anime, but it works for the format, if theyd done the same with the show then I don't think it wouldve done as well. Honestly? Cuter tbh but just as horny. You dont start really LEARNING about your character until like, chap 65 tho and no real "drama" happens until like 75. A good chunk of the chapters are like 8pgs so its a breeze to get through. I love these slow burn idiots of the century. 9.5/10 because you can DEFINITELY tell the mangaka does hentai too.

Yugen's All-Ghouls Homeroom: one-shot by the mangaka for Food Wars, it's no wonder there's this constant perviness from the MC, a guy who can see and exorcise spirits. Takes place at an all girl's finishing school with KICK ASS monsters tbh, kinda bummed its not longer. The MC? Blatant monsterfucker who is also a CONFRIMED monsterfucker???? Idk i vibe with that single emotion. Everything else is hit or miss. 7/10 for monsters and cool concept, lost points for the MC very pointedly being okay with admitting he'd wait for the teenagers to be adults tho. Creepy af. Could live without that.

Hell's Paradise: I finished the entire 127chps in 3 days and I was really enthusiastic about it 90% of the time thinking about how deep it was and then I actually thought about it and I ended up being very neutral about the whole thing tbh. The art is fantastic tho, but DEFINITELY deserving of the M rating. Tits. Tits everywhere. But not tits to be ecchi over, no, monster hermit tits on beautiful women-ish figures. Now generally I give that a pass but a huge theme in the story is that men and women are "no better than one or the other" but like, lady tits are what you see 99% of the time. Men tits are few and far between. I call bullshit on most of the "deep" themes is what I'm saying, so it's like the mangaka was trying for those deep thoughts but missed the margin a little too far for my preference. That being said, the MC is a married man who loves his wife which automatically makes him my favorite character so like... idk so many good things, so many misses, but overall really spectacular themes and imagery. Unique but classic all at once. It's getting an anime and I have NO IDEA how much censorship they're gonna be doing but they're going to be doing SO MUCH. Oh yeah, and one guy is a plant/human hybrid who fucks a 1000 year old plant-hermit which makes him a canon monster fucker. And one canon non-binary character who I, a nonbinary, actually like. So like... gosh I've got mixed feelings. 8.5/10.

Choujin X: From Sui Ishida, mangaka to the mega hit Tokyo Ghoul comes this brand new manga!... Of one chapter, lol. Not really binge-y because it's just the one chapter out right now but I'm already keeping my eye on it. The grasp on anatomy in the art is PHENOMENAL and you can see Ishida flexing his art skill which is great. Can't give a true rating but I'm giving it a tentative 9/10 because I'm excited to see more.

Shag&Scoob: technically not a manga, its an ongoing webcomic I binged an subscribed to in one day and I just think it deserves more attention. Starts off funny with "what if Scooby Doo had a gun" and has been led to "what if all cartoons are aliens that survive and receive their powers by the humans that love them in an epic war with Martians." On god, its good. I finished the current series in a couple hours so it's a breezy read, highly recommend it. 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Yeah I watched the anime and then finished all current 143 chapters in like 3 days. GOD IM WEAK. I don't buy physical manga unless I know I want to remember the story forever and I'm already budgeting for the current books out. Yeah, this is a good series. That being said, definitely not for the faint of heart or those who suffer under common triggers like suicide, molestation, death, etc. It's all framed as bad and necessary to the story don't get me wrong, but it's there and has lasting affects on the characters. Incredible story telling by the creator of A Silent Voice. Keep tissues nearby at all times. 12/10.

[oloreaa]

2020 WRAP UP!

Okay here we are!! Hopefully I have not missed anyone because I truly dont mean to "snub" anyone, so here is a list of people who I feel very thankful for knowing this year, where I started out on tumblr, you have been truly bright presences and I love you very very much.

First off here are some people I don't know very well (or at all, but I admire their work) but I think have excellent vibes and I would love to get to know better/let them know that I appreciate them very very much:

@maxlordd @ollypopp @opheliaelysia @honeymandos @concussed-to-pieces @pikemoreno @huliabitch @mitchi-c @hansoulo @browneyes-djarin @cinewhore @max--phillips @din-damn-djarin @ezrasarm @dishonouringmycow @keeper0fthestars @dadolorian @dindjarindiaries @cobbvader @leo-moon @justrunamok @frannyzooey @miranhas-art @keethus-arts @hdlynn @zeldasayer @qveenbvtch @softpedropascal @marvel-and-mischief @datmando @stubbychaos @di-kut @themangolorian @vercopaanir @mcfreakin-bxtch

and so, so many more that I cannot think of right now (and tumblr doesnt let me tag more than 50 people)

And for those I know a bit better, under the cut❤:

@binggrae-banana-milk : You're the first person I really talked to on tumblr, and I cherish every single one of our interactions so much. The one time where we had watched Revenge of the Sith together and had a full on BLAST, it was incredibly fun and every time we just kind of scream at each other in dms it's so funny, how we both are freaking out simultaneously!! Also before you I never really keysmashed and now it's a part of my vocabulary lmao, ily!!!

@mndalorians : Cass. Oh, my dear Cass. Listen, you have brightened up my year by SO MUCH. I don't even want to know how many tens of thousands of words our chat consists of dhdhdh, from discovering cultural differences with each other, to yelling about the same stuff, to planning fics and telling each other of our ideas. We share a brain cell and we are literally the embodiment of Zwei Dumme, ein Gedanke. If I'm glad for anything in this year, it's starting to talk to you. You're literally one of my closest friends and I never hesitate in hitting you up, from absolute crack to heartbreak, you have the range, darling. I love you so much, you don't even know❤

@agirllovespancakes : Iris baby, oh my god. I don't even know where to start. The way how we just started talking without even KNOWING how we started talking is the funniest thing, EVER. This friendship came out of fucking NOWHERE and I am so glad for this. I can always count of you to stand by my side in so many things, and you're the other chaotic one in Tender Roasting, I adore you. The way we just go "kskssksks" and "dhddhdhdhd" at each other for literally hours because we are just losing it over each other is amazing. Ich hab dich so lieb!!!

@adikaofmandalore : Holy shit, Adi, the only thing I can think of now is that you literally deserve everything good and sweet in this world. You're one of the kindest souls on here, and I've never met anyone who is as sweet as you. I don't even know how you are real. Everytime we talk I'm literally smiling so bright, your enthusiasm for Ven is unparalleled and the way we just go bonkers at each other with ideas?? You're so supportive?? And your razor sharp wit and sarcasm is AMAZING to witness in action. Your writing is incredible and incredibly underrated and your stubbornness is admirable. You manage to power though Everything and that's so impressive. I love you very much!!!

@teaofpeach : lee babe DAMN I've never met anyone who is as funny as you. Like whenever we are talking it's just, it ends with me cackling and having the biggest smile on my face because you made me laugh so much. Such a bright presence on my dash and your TAGS are always sending me. So witty and smart and your vocabulary is unparalleled. Filthy hoe but I love you for it. You taught me so much tumblr lingo just by texting me and I always feel Educated afterwards dhdhdhd I love you so much and I trust you with every single one of my attempts at Spiciness

@mandolovian : DEV BABY my love from tomorrow🥺🥺 the time difference of HELL had never stopped us from being hoe af in the dms lmao, I vividly remember one of our first convos spiralling into thots SO FUCKING FAST that was the funniest shit ever. It's always fascinating to see what you do on the other side of the planet and I admire you so much. Like, you TRULY have big brain. How do you remember so much??? Like all these conditions and facts and like WOAH I just feel like a plankton next to you💀💀💀💀 ily SO MUCH

@goldafterglow : iris babe omg okay first of all you're the prettiest bitch I've ever seen, such a nice presence overall, you have GALAXY BRAIN, your writing style is so smooth and full of descriptions that are so amazing to read, like its. Amazing. You have unfortunately witnessed several times where I typed faster than my brain would proceed and I ended up saying the DUMBEST shit and you make fun of me because of it. Like bro I dont even mind bc any interaction with you is worth it🥺🥺🥺🥺

@chibi-liz05 : Liz oh my gosh I just love you so much. We don't talk as frequently anymore but you just have a place in my heart, you're incredibly supportive of everything and you're always there for me, no matter for what, offering thoughts and conversation about everything. You're such an absolute sweetheart and a sunshine person and I just adore your positive attitude and the way you talk, you're literally the sweetest. I love you very very much and consider this me giving you the biggest forehead kiss

@pisss-offf-ghostt : you're one of the first ones who read my fics when I first started out, and your continued support for everything I write is absolutely AMAZING. Like I enjoy every single one of our conversations and discussions, and I feel completely safe to hit you up for anything, no matter what. You're an incredibly kind and hardworking person and your heart is just so big, I cannot even comprehend it. It's amazing how much you care, how you interact with people on here, and I care for you SO MUCH. Love you🥺❤❤

@maybege : you're literally the KINDEST PERSON around?? And we are weirdly connected through cosmic forces whenever it has something to do about Lebkuchenherzen lmao, its uncanny. We have started out in fics in such a similar way it still makes me chuckle, like we experienced the same amount of cringe lmaooo, and now you're just here, blessing us every day with your amazing content, being the most organised person I know, and just an absolute SWEETHEART. everytime we write I have such a big smile on my face, and you BET we would have found each other irl if it wasnt for Corona🤡🤡

@kiwi-the-first : oh kiwi you're such a nice and thoughtful person, whenever I feel down youre the first one to send asks and nice messages and cute photos to make me smile and that is absolutely adorable of you🥺🥺 you're such a vocal and passionate character and its absolutely amazing to see you in action, how you go all caps screaming in the dms. You have a special part in my heart and its just so nice to be able to talk to you

@corvueros : MEG we are literally sharing one (1) brain cell and they are oscillating between "horny", "yelling at each other in all caps" and "oh my god that's such a good idea" 💀💀💀 whenever we talk I have the biggest smile on my face and I absolutely ADORE you, you're the absolute best. Such a sweet and thoughtful and excited person who can spew the filthiest thots in a manner of 0.1 seconds. You're such a bright person and I could not imagine not being able to talk to you bc you're so supportive and just the literal BEST, I LOVE YOU BITCH, I AM NEVER GONNA STOP LOVING YOU, BITCH

@blacksquadron-rougetwo : okay Hailee you have absolutely excellent vibes. Like you're always so bright and sunshiny and just so damn fucking gorgeous I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU. Filthy and tender at the same time, the QUEEN of soft horny fics like woah, and the way you talk is just so wonderful to witness. Your reaction pics are always on point and no matter what the topic is our convos always end up in all caps screaming at each other how unfairly hot the character of the week is lmao. You're such a sweet being and I am grateful for you!!

@over300books : holy shit Estela I have not known you well for a long time but you're such an incredibly supportive person with the funniest of commentary, everything you write makes me smile, ESPECIALLY all those comments in the docs!! I completely trust you with all the writings I manage to finish and everytime you help me with it you make me see my work with new eyes. You're just so damn amazing and sweet and super cheery I just love you so much. I am so grateful that we are friends and I am SO PROUD of you for finishing your degree!! Like girl WHOOOO!!!

@anxiety-riddled-mando : listen not only are you an absolutely fantastic writer, you're such an amazing person and someone who just screams "safe" at me. Like I completely trust you with my thoughts and even if we are not talking directly very often (our communication is more reblogging and telling each other in the tags how much we love them lmao) I just absolutely adore you and I just am so incredibly thankful that we stumbled across each other!!! You're such a bright presence on tumblr and every single one of your works is so incredibly amazing!!

Aaaand that's a wrap!! Thank you so much for making my year brighter, I love every single one of you so so so so so much. Happy new years!!

Love, Rea

[lovely-necromancy]

A Cure for Insomnia CH 14

Somehow someway you had ended up spending the night in Toby's room. What had started out as sitting next to him turned into laying down next to him. And after a while of no talking or movement, just the steady sounds of breathing. You more or less closed you eyes for a minute.

Before you knew it you were waking up to sun in your face. And found a blanket haphazardly thrown onto you. Though honestly you probably just moved a lot in your sleep. A quick glance around the room tells you you're alone and by the looks of it have been for a little while now. Weirdly there doesn't seem to be a clock in the room and when you go to check your phone the battery is dead.

'Oh God what time is it?' you worry as you gather yourself to leave the room in search of a clock.

Even though you have the strongest suspicion that you're already late for work. Fuck Nate is gonna kill you. You hope you don't get fired for this. That doesn't really seem like the Cowell way but you really don't want to risk it. No where else in town would pay the bills plus give extra cash for doing jack shit.

Just as you closed the door behind you you see Toby and Connor walking up the corridor. Toby has two bowls in hand and his steps falter a bit when he sees you.

“Shit did I wake you up?”

You can see the veins in his arms as he tenses, poor guy must have a tic coming on. You hold your hands out to give him the option of handing them over so he can relax. With no hesitation on his end he does just that.

“No? I don't think so, I just woke up. What time is it?”

Toby's hands jolt in place. A large tremor of movement, thankfully you took the bowls from him so he wouldn't have splashed...cereal? Your confusion must have shown because you get a nervous laugh in response.

“It's like eight twenty or something.” seeing you visibly deflate he adds, “Barry told me to tell you you're excused from work today.” He took a bowl back from you and placed a hand at the small of your back to push you back towards his room. Apparently done with having a conversation in the hallway and letting your breakfast get soggy.

“Barclay.” you remind him, your efforts award you a shrug, “and are you serious? Because making me late for work wouldn't be very funny.”

He plops on his bed and a bit of milk sloshes out of the bowl dropping on to the sheets. In the back of your mind you think about how Barclay more than likely is going to ban Toby from the lodge for anything other than an emergency. At least if he ruins the bed by dropping food all over it...actually you're pretty sure Jake's mentioned there being a rule about eating in the rooms.

“I'm serious, you can go ask him yourself.” his face flushes as he shovels a spoonful of Captain Crunch into his mouth, “twey shed somfingu bot ah ahpawawgee for da kid”

You give Toby a sneer as you process what he just said. Even normally your brain didn't always process what was said to you properly and Toby speaking with a full mouth certainly didn't help in any case. But you can kind of gleam a bit more context from his red cheeks that your spontaneous three day weekend is thanks in part to Jo hanging out with you yesterday.

Really you didn't mind that she hung out with you. But you would accept the apologetic day off for her attempting to give you a love life. You aren't one of her gossip stories nor do you wish to be.

“First, gross dude. Second, I'll take it.”

He snorts, “Watching me chew through the hole in my face is ne-neat but me talking with my mouth full is where you draw the line?”

“Honestly I never even thought of that.”

You can't help but let out a chuckle at how dumb that must have made you look. Geez you were such a dork sometimes. On the other hand it seems like that must have been the funniest thing Toby's heard in a while as he roars with laughter. Soon your chuckles turn into full blown laughter from Toby's contagious mirth.

“I'll get out of your hair after I finish eating.” you finally say when the two of you calm.

“...you don't have to do that. I-i thought we cou-cou-could hang out?” he says sheepishly.

Toby tends to stutter when he's nervous you notice. Maybe this was to be expected you kind of did solidify that you both wanted to be friends. Of course that would mean opening up to hanging out together on purpose more often.

“I'd like that! Did you have something in mind?”

The room goes quite, well more accurately Toby goes quite as you finish your cereal. Looks like someone hadn't thought this far ahead. At least you aren't the only dork in this room or this friendship for that matter.

Toby's dark eyes scan around the room, not really looking for something while he thinks of something you could do today. Instead of just staring at him like a creep you turn your attention to the rottweiler looking at you with hopeful eyes. Connor's eyes briefly moving towards your bowl where a tiny bit of milk sits and then back at your face. Licking his chops as he looks you dead in the eyes.

Having a pretty good idea of what he wants you look for Toby's bowl. If it was on the ground that'd be a good indication that Connor's allowed a bit of cereal milk if it was on the bed well then you'd still have your answer.  And sure enough right next to Connor's butt is an empty bowl.

Yup, Barclay is so gonna ban Toby from the lodge.

Throwing out any thoughts of the lecture you'd get if Barclay were to find out you let a dog eat from his bowls you place the bowl in front of Connor. Who sits in his position and won't stop making eye contact with the bowl. Tail going a mile a minute as he stares at his prize in anticipation. God he really is the best boy in the whole world.

“Thank you Connor.” you whisper to the dog before he attacks the bowl.

As the pup rips into the left over cereal milk, which wasn't even that much, you can't keep yourself from flapping your hands right by your chest. The fast movement seems to catch Toby's attention and brings him out of wracking his brain for ideas. Giving you a moment to just enjoy the happy stim he just watches. It isn't until Connor has bounded over to you letting you pet him as a 'thank you' for giving him a treat, that Toby speaks up.

“Is there...what's there to do here?”

Looking at Toby as you shake Connor's ears around, you don't immediately say anything. Honestly thinking of just what the two of you could do in this small town. Something that wouldn't prove to be too distracting and maybe give the two of you a chance to get to know each other better. Something without too many interruptions or things to get you off topic.

“Wanna go get a slushy?”

Toby's brown eyes cut as he stares at you unimpressed.

“I kno-rrow that we're in a small town but, 's not that small.”

“Oh no it's actually smaller.”

He rolls his eyes with a huff ready to bite in with a snarky remark no doubt until he catches your eyes and the serious expression. He stares at you, eyes darting across your face looking for a sign that you're joking.

Thankfully you aren't one to leave a friend in the dark.

“Tobias, the gas station Tim works at is the only one for this town.”

“That can't be right, it's not even in town. What about...” once again Toby's eyes shift as he tries to think of any other gas stations within Kepler.

When he comes to the conclusion that you are indeed not fucking with him and Kepler does just have the one gas station his shoulders slump. Almost like he's in shock that he hadn't caught that sooner. You can feel the tinkling sensation of a tic coming up, at the base of your neck. Timing it mentally as you watch Toby go through the stages of grief you miscalculate and ruin your tic.

Head jolting into your right shoulder rather than jerking above it. Letting out a small “fuck” at the fact that you're about to be in an uncomfortable sensation, not totally unlike when you chase off a sneeze but still do need to sneeze. You feel the tic at the back of your head but know it won't be going away anytime soon and all thanks to your hubris.

Looking back at Toby you find he's moved on from the single gas station fact and is looking at you mildly amused. Briefly you wonder if he's ever chased off a tic and felt the uncomfortable sensation you're now dealing with. That leads you to ponder if he's ever even felt the anticipation of nerves before a coming tic. It's not really a painful sensation but discomfort sometimes goes in hand with pain so maybe CIPA affects that feeling too. You'll have to ask, but first you have to shut his stupid face up.

“Shut it.”

“Didn't say anything.” he smirks.

His smiles are really growing on you. They feel special and very genuine despite the awkward nature of his facial movements.

“Hey wait, the mini mart doesn't even have a slushy machine.” he says as the realization finally sets in.

“Yea we have to drive to another town for one. So far Franklin has the best slushies but it's like two hours away.”

You lean your weight back onto your hands watching as Toby's wide eyes stare at you in disbelief. Actually in this light you really can't tell if Toby's eyes are blown wide or in their normal state. Judging from the way his lips curl over his teeth you figure they must be as he stares stunned by something you've said.

“Do you seriously drive two hours for a slushy?” the disbelief in his voice is thick, but not thick enough to cover the thinnest hint of amusement. Maybe even pity.

“Not all the time, sometimes its only like thirty. One night I actually drove five hours without realizing it...though to be fair I did get lost.”

Lost in your thoughts on that particular night some how you'd ended up in Point Pleasant. Instead of a slushy you'd gotten a Mothman themed iced coffee. A nice trip over all but one you didn't want to go on at the moment.

Coming back to the present in time to catch Toby flopping back on the mattress his curls bouncing up over his face as he did so. He let's out an exaggerated groan.

“Still, Brian's got the car today.”

Pfft that's not an issue.

“I have a car.” you say plainly.

That must not be the issue because Toby raises himself onto his elbows to look at your lax form on the carpet. Leaning back on your hands with Connor splayed across your lap looking ready for a nap. Toby opens his mouth to say something before shutting it and looking off to the side. He seems to collect himself quickly but not enough to look at you.

“Uh..I, that's not really the...” well maybe he hadn't collected himself that much.

Brow furrowing as you squint at the man before you. The two of you don't know a lot about each other but from what you've noticed Toby has some hang ups about drivers and driving. Although he's let you drive him home once that doesn't mean he was comfortable with it or wanted a repeat performance. And while you don't consider yourself a bad driver you'll spare Toby the difficulty of admitting he isn't comfortable with you driving.

“You can drive.” dark brown eyes are on you the instant the words spill from your lips, “You've driven my car before. Plus I don't mind I like not driving.”

His eyes dart from you to Connor and back up into your face. Even though they're darting slightly you know he isn't such evaluating your expression. He's thinking and weighing his options.

“You sure?”

And with no hesitation at all, “Absolutely, you've driven it before.”

Though he hadn't been thinking of that particular issue with being given the choice of driving your car. It did bring up another insecurity before hastily stomping it into the ground. He has driven your car, albeit once, before and you are giving him explicit consent to drive it again. Regardless of his tourette's, Toby honestly can't believe you have such blind faith in a person you've just befriended. Then again that's friendship isn't it.

“Ok then...let's go?”

After a nod from you Toby grabs Connor's gear to get him ready for the drive. Meanwhile you take the dishes back downstairs to the kitchen, letting Toby know you'd meet him by the door. Unsurprisingly Barclay is in the kitchen when you get down there to place the bowls into the sink.

Seeing as it's just the bowls and spoons in the sink you decide you can wash them before placing them in the sanitizer rack.

“Mornin'.”

“Good morning.”

“Basket's on the table.”

“Thanks.”

A quiet settles over you two and you can feel Barclay's brown eyes trail towards your form every few seconds. Finishing the dishes you turn, leaning your butt onto the counter, to face the lumbering man.

“Can I help you?” you raise a brow at him. Clearly he had something more he wanted to say.

“I, I just thought we were closer than that.” he sighs.

Okay what now? Your confusion goes ignored as he continues to speak.

“Seriously YN, you didn't need to sneak away last night if you wanted to spend the night here, and with your boyfriend. I wouldn't have judged.”

“My who? Tobais? He's a friend!” you whisper scream in case Toby is near by. God could at least save one of you this embarrassment.

“Really YN? From the things I'm hearin' you two are a bit more than friends.”

“Ok seriously where are you getting your info from? We haven't done anything. Like just YESTERDAY we agreed we were friends. We've known each other maybe a month?!”

“See that's why this is confusing, you don't touch just anyone. And suddenly you're handsy with some new kid.” Barclay had the decency to start whisper screaming with you. He's gesturing vaguely towards the rest of the lodge before bringing his hands before him and flailing them away. As if to say 'what am I supposed to do with this now?'

“He's neurodivergent!” you say bringing your palms up in front of you.

“So are Jake and Aubrey.”

“And I high five Jake so much.” throwing your arms outward to indicate how much you two high five. “Plus he gets a hug nearly every time I see him.” hands brought back to emphasis this point.

Barclay thinks on that for a bit, “Point taken,” he stands from his hunched position and crosses his arms over his chest, “so y'all aren't dating? Nothin' happened last night?”

“No and no.”

“Don't have to deep clean the sheets today.”

“Gross and no.” best keep the milk droplets out of this, you'd really like to leave the kitchen sooner rather than later. Preferably with no lecture about hygiene and the importance of respecting other's property.

Barclay looks down at you scanning your face for something you aren't quite sure of. But you have a feeling he's treating you like a child for a very specific reason.

“I'm not a virgin.” you deadpan as the man before starts to sputter.

His eyes wide with disbelief. So he really thought you were a virgin this whole time? You wonder who else thought this, you hoped they wouldn't try to confront you about your nonexistent relationship.

You'll just never understand why people assume you're a virgin and why they try their hardest to butt into your life when they think that way. This topic tends to put you in a sour mood and you can already feel it on your face. It's disgusting how people can't mind their business about baseless assumptions.

“Jeez sorry YN,” he does look it as he rubs the back of his neck, “it's just you've never shown an interest and I guess we all got swept up in the possibility of seeing you happy.”

“I am happy?”

“I mean in a relationship, happy in a romantic relationship.” He claps his hands gently on your shoulders. A touch you've gotten used too, had you not wanted it you would've taken a step back.

“Kirby's not in a relationship.” you point out.

“Kirby's gross, and you're adorable.” he chuckles at your glare, “a-dor-a-ble.”

“I will bite you.” he lets go of you with a laugh.

“We're just...trying to keep you safe.” he sighs, and though you don't understand what any of their weirdness has to do with “keeping you safe” you nod. Just to get this over with faster.

“Can I leave now? Tobais and I were gonna get slushies.” he didn't need to know your plans but you didn't want him assuming you two were sneaking off for a date.

“Yea yea, sorry for keeping you.” he leans against the counter as you grab your basket and head out of the kitchen and towards the main door.

Toby and Connor were already waiting for you. If the swaying of his weight was anything to go by they'd been waiting for you for a bit. Seeing you coming his subconscious movement stops and he opens the door. Keeping it open for you.  You lead him over to your Soul as you look through the basket for the keys.

“Keys?” he questions as you pat your pockets.

Toby stops walking with you as you begin to panic. You've lost your keys. Before you voice that though you look through the basket once more, placing it on the hood of your car so you can use both hands to check. His eyes follow you and are caught by a gentle swaying.

“You are a serial killer's wet dream.”

He opens your passenger side door and comes out holding your keys that had been in the ignition. If the blank look he gives you is anything to go by he's not impressed.

“I,I,I was in a hurry!” you say flustered that you did something so stupid. His expression doesn't change.

“Could you pop the trunk please?” you ask not looking in his direction.

The click of the lock is all you need to hear before you rush around him to place the basket in the back. As you do you catch sight of the deer skull still in your trunk. With everything going on you hadn't been to see Madeleine for a mount for the guy. You'll have to remember to stop by her shop this week.

Toby had already gotten Connor situated in the back by the time you sat down in the passengers seat. After buckling in and plugging your phone in to charge you stare ahead of you waiting for Toby to start driving. When you look over at him you see he's staring right back at you with a brow raised.

“Yes?”

“Where are we going?”

Yes the key detail of any road trip, the driver needs to know the destination. Unfortunately for you and Toby you've forgotten to tell him one crucial detail. You drive with no sense of direction. And you relay this to Toby. He looks seconds away from getting out of the car and claiming he's never seen you before much less ever been friends with you.

He takes a deep breath and collects himself.

“Y'know what Brian's worse with directions.” he says more to himself than to you.

He calmly puts the car in gear and heads off to town. No input from Connor, you may have chosen a really good day for this drive. Your phone hits one percent as you pass Resort Row. You know the Hornet's Nest is coming up and that intersection leads to the interstate despite not having legible signs.

“Hey when you get to the Hornet's Nest swing right then drive straight, we'll end up on route 3 onto the interstate.”

“Hornets' nest?”

“It's a skate/stunt park. You'll see it after we get away from the mountain.”

Just as you said Toby saw the Hornet's Nest as he turned onto the road leaving the mountain. By the time you were on route 3 your phone had charged up to seven percent. Enough to turn it on and put on a playlist. You put on one of your sea shanty and folk punk combos.

Toby hasn't even let the song get thirty seconds under way. “No vetoed, we are not listening to sea shanties.”

So he does have music preferences, fair enough. You switch to a playlist with a more chilled electric vibe that has a few oldies tossed into the mix. Toby hasn't heard this playlist before and you are determined to learn his music tastes today.

“Wait wait wait, so you'll listen to folk punk but not sea shanties?”

“How are those even related?”

“They are literally the same thing.”

The two of you continue to bicker back and forth about how similar, or different, shanties and folk punk are. Occasionally it's broken when you read a sign, noticing Toby's horrible squinting, to see if you're on the right route to...well you don't know the destination Toby's been ignoring most of the exits for the past forty minutes though you're sure you two could find a gas station with a slushy machine at any one of the surrounding towns.

You don't mind though you're really enjoying the ride. The soft sounds of the car cutting through the wind at seventy three miles an hour. And the dull hum from the engine falling into the background as They Might Be Giants plays softly through the radio. With a majority of his focus being directed to the road  and the handful of other cars around you, your conversation is limited to topics that don't require much thinking. Really you've just ended up playing twenty questions with the other pulling uno reverse.

Not life altering secrets or deep talks...well until the question was favorite romantic comedy.

“How is Venom a romantic comedy?” Toby laughs after you answer.

“They kiss!” Toby just snorts.

“No Venom in Anne's body kisses Eddie.”

“Yes Venom kissed Eddie. Romance.”

You hear the murmur of 'oh my fucking God' come from Toby as you giggle in your seat. Having been egged on by that simple phrase you continue.

“Eddie is always giving Venom chocolates.”

“Oh yes, sorry, that's very romance.” Toby laughs out rolling his eyes.

“Thank you, I'm glad I could enlighten...” you pause as a sign for the next exit catches your eye. Had you two already driven two hours? Time really does fly when you're having fun. “Hey next exit, Franklin.”

“Thanks got it.” this time he turns on the blinker to get over into the exiting lane.

“What gas station am I looking for?” smart man. He's stopped asking for specific directions and is now asking for a land marker.

“Giant baby.” the car comes to a stop at a red light and Toby takes his eyes off the road to face you.

“...is this...will I just know when I see it.” “When you see it” you say the last part in unison with him nodding solemnly.

To his credit Toby has gone a long way with your weird antics, despite being your official friend for less than a full day. Keeping up with this pattern he doesn't ask anymore questions about this giant baby, keeping his eyes peeled for anything worthy of that title. His valent efforts are rewarded not even ten blocks from the turnpike.

“Is that...”

“Giant baby.” you nod knowing he sees the giant opposum decal in the window of the beat up gas station.

Opening your glove box you remove a spare mask for yourself before offering a sealed in package one for Toby. Who readily takes it after he parks your car in front of the store. Turning to look at you, you can read all the skepticism on his face. It's funny how this is where he questions you, your destination and not like the way over here-or the moment right after you told him you had no sense of direction.

“They have the four divide mega slush.”

“What the hell is that?”

With a coy smile you put on your mask and exit the car waiting at the front for your friend to get his shit together. He doesn't take long to follow you, Connor's lead in hand, into the gas station.

For as dingy and beat up as it looks on the outside it isn't bad once you step inside. Might actually be cleaner than the mini mart in Kelper. Toby glances around taking a mental tally of all the patrons in the store and their positions. He does this a bit. Just hyper aware of everyone when in enclosed spaces.

Dragging him over to the slushy machine after acknowledging the cashier's greeting. Showing him the four divider mega slush cup you demonstrate how it works. Choosing the only three flavors you like and adding a random extra of the three into the forth slot.

The face he makes when you stick the straw in the middle is priceless.

Toby demonstrates how a slushy should be made. Grabbing the single cup and over filling it with cherry flavored ice. He doesn't pick up a straw and you two make your way to the counter.

Since Toby drove here you had no problem paying but he was quicker to get his wallet out and hand the cashier a ten for your slushies. They give him back his change and you two wind up back in the car, taking off your masks.

You take a long sip from you drink.

“I can't believe we drove for two hours for you to just wreck your taste buds.” a playful disdain in his voice.

“Not 'we', you.”

He cuts his eyes at you before shaking his slushy into his open mouth. Guess he couldn't use a straw when he was missing part of his cheek. No suction there.

“So?” you say adding the questioning lilt to your voice.

He shrugs, “It's good.”

“Worth the drive?” He shakes his head.

“Nah - drive made it worth it.”

[longitud-de-onda]

Porque el querer causa pena, pena que no tiene fin

pairing; mad sad genius (we never got a name) x reader summary; you can love someone with all your heart, but nothing compares to the madness that exists in their absence rating; t warnings; language, a bit of alcohol, angst, it isn’t specifically covid-19 but it is a pandemic science fiction story, so the quarantine and other situations are taken to the extreme which could be potentially triggering depending on how you’re handling the quarantine. word count; 3.0k a/n; this is fanfic for ngozi anyanwu’s for all the lovesick mad sad geniuses which aside from pedro’s amazing performance, is a brilliant monologue. we’re taking the title from the rosalía song (maldición, cap. 10: cordura) that helped inspire this.

You met him at an art gallery. It was your own show, and you were standing in the corner drinking wine from a clear plastic cup, the edge of which was sharp against your lips. You held a paper plate with five almonds, a mozzarella and tomato crostini, and a mini chocolate cupcake carefully balanced in your other hand.

He was standing in front of your favorite piece. No one else was. Probably because the gallery owner told you it wasn’t the sort of work that would stop anyone. That out of all the work in your collection, it was the type that belonged in the back, where it would be found by the people who cared enough to wander there, whose interest would likely be piqued enough for them to enjoy it. It hurt to hang it up on the back wall and not up in the front where you wanted it.

But he hadn’t stopped at everything else. He had walked into the gallery minutes before, giving every painting a quick glance before settling on the one in front of which he was standing. He had been there for almost five minutes before you decided to walk up next to him.

He looked over upon seeing you approach and your heart stopped. He was the most beautiful person you had ever seen. His smile reached his eyes and you found yourself falling into them. You almost asked him if he would model for you.

You didn’t paint portraits.

“This one is beautiful,” he told you.

You smiled and took a sip of your wine. You didn’t need convincing that it was beautiful. That much you already knew. It was the one piece you were confident beyond belief about.

“What do you like about it?” you asked, jutting your chin up at the painting in question.

“The artist seems to have cared. You can see the brushstrokes. They’re more detailed than the others. Someone only spends that much time on something they really care about.”

That was when you fell in love with him. Thirty-three words. That was all it took.

Your first date was dinner after the gallery closed for the night and he dragged you out to his favorite burger joint because he said you deserved it after opening an exhibition. After wolfing down more than enough food and splitting a tub of fries, you spilled out onto the streets in a pile of laughter and joy and you’ll never forget the look on his face when you asked for his number.

Your second date was a night you’ll never forget. He had taken two days to contact you after the first night, and you had begun to worry you would never hear from him again, but he called you and said he wanted to meet you at 6pm the next day and to dress nicely. You showed up where he told you too and he was there with that goddamn smile.

He took you to a Chinese restaurant and said I’d take you somewhere nicer but I don’t think you’re that kind of woman. And you would have slapped any other guy in the face but he looked so earnest and he was right about you. It was like he could read you like a book. And when you laughed he’d sometimes stop laughing with you just to stare with a certain reverence that made you question what you did to deserve the sort of man who looked at you that way.

He took you past all the big theaters showing musicals and stopped at one tucked away with a modest set of doors but the grandest entry hall you had ever seen. You let him lead the way as he took you through the doors into the auditorium and you walked down the aisles to seats near the front.

You didn’t know what you had done to let him know you loved comedies, but he had picked out the perfect play. By the time it was over your stomach hurt from laughing so hard and your eyes held the watery ring around them from your tears. You hit the cool night air just as it started raining, and any other time you would have run for cover but with him and his smile next to you, you didn’t give a shit.

The aimless wandering that night was your favorite part. You were doubled over laughing as he told you the parts of the play he liked, and the parts he didn’t.

“She was a fucking genius and a poet, you know?” he said.

“Who?”

“The playwright.”

“What? Why?” you asked.

“She wrote a play about another fucking genius,” he said. “And despite it being the funniest shit ever made, it still had all those deep-ass lines. You know, like, ‘If you got one friend when you die then most people never have something like you.”

And he didn’t know why you started giggling until you calmed yourself enough to tell him what the real quote was in between fits of laughter. He had that look from earlier that night on his face. The one where it was like he didn’t even know you could see him. He gazed at you like he could see you. Not just on the surface, but underneath everything too. Like he could see every thought that went through your head and took the time to hold every one and appreciate it before letting it go.

He leaned down to kiss you and you tilted your head up to meet him and you wondered how you hadn’t kissed him before. Why you didn’t when you said goodbye your first night. Why you didn’t when you were getting to know him over a burger. Why you didn’t let him kiss you that first fucking moment when you fell in love, right there, after he told you about your own goddamn brush strokes.

You fell in love all over again the following weekend when he took you to his favorite spot in the park, a large grassy hill overlooking all the kids playing below and you spread out a blanket and ate sandwiches that he had put into little ziploc bags. You told him that he should have packed some wine and he said baby, we didn’t need any alcohol our first two dates and you flushed and told him about the wine you had at the gallery and he laughed.

“I probably wouldn’t have had the guts to walk up to you without it,” you protested when he jokingly expressed mild disappointment.

“If you hadn’t walked up, I probably would have shouted ‘where’s the fucking artist, I need to talk to her!’ by the end of the night,” he said, and you found yourself laughing again.

“Wouldn’t be the weirdest thing that’s happened at one of my exhibits,” you said.

You met him every morning before work to go out for coffee, even if it meant waking up an extra hour early because he’s a morning person. You had his coffee order memorized by the third day.

He invited you to his apartment one day and you found yourself laughing over home videos of him as a kid late into the night. When you said goodbye, your heart yearned to stay. To take one of his shirts and wear it as you curled up next to him in bed. Instead, you kissed him good night.

After dinner one evening, you brought him to your place and showed him the little studio you had in the most well-lit room. He spent almost an hour exploring it, asking you questions about every little thing, the brand of paints you liked best, the angle you preferred to set your easel, your favorite tools, your favorite color, and telling you how honored he was to be in the workplace of a genius.

You didn’t tell him he was the smartest person you had ever met.

You didn’t tell him that he was the genius out of the two of you. That he could talk about his work and you could listen for hours to his voice but not understand a single word he said. That he would talk like no one was listening and then say the most serious shit. The sort of thing that made you rethink life, and by the time you had escaped from your thoughts he was already on another topic, rambling about the multitudes of things he loved. He saw the beauty in everything.

How the hell could a man like him love you?

He was the sort of person you would hear about in movies. The type to never stop dreaming. Someone watching the two of you would think you both mad. He had his head in the clouds and you would watch from below in awe as if his brain was firing off fireworks, and then you would speak about anything and he would give you that smile and that goddamn look that drove you crazy.

Your entire life he was there, living his own life without ever having met you, and you often wondered how many times you had almost met. You lived in the same city, surely there must have been times. Hundreds if not thousands of moments in which your paths nearly crossed. Whether what kept you from meeting was a mere 3 feet of distance in a crowd or a mere 3 minutes of time and space in which one of you was running late or early to something along which way you would have found him.

But you were lucky to have met him when you did. Gotten to share the brief moments while they lasted. That was before the virus hit.

You were sitting on his kitchen counter, covered in acrylic paint he had bought at the grocery store as the two of you detailed messy renditions of Van Gogh’s work on his cabinet doors, and he had wrapped his dirty hands around your waist, leaving two purple handprints on your painting shirt, and pulled you into a kiss. And this one was different. It was deeper, searching for more. There was more heat and passion. Your whole relationship, months of it, had been slow and beautiful and intimate, but there were times where it was more like friendship then romance and neither of you minded as you walked along the fine line between the two, happy with the state of things as they were. But you had loved him since the first day and you didn’t mind the idea of, one day, collapsing naked and sweaty into bed with him instead of snuggling up against his side as he wrapped you in his arms like he usually did when you did decide to spend the night.

But that was for another day. You broke apart after minutes to return to your project. By the end of the night you were screwing the doors back in and he was admiring everything. If you were being honest, he was completely helpless when it came to handiwork. Couldn’t hammer a nail, tighten a screw, sand some wood, or even recreate a decent Starry Starry Night, but that didn’t matter. Because his kitchen looked vibrant and beautiful and the art reminded you of all the ideas you could see swirling in his head. The fucking genius.

The reports had started to come in by then, but it wasn’t until the following morning that you realized how serious everything had gotten. Schools announced that day that they were closing. He called to tell you he was working from home. You got the call that evening that you would be too.

A week later and you had met with him once, in the park. It was a long trek for both of you, living on opposite sides of the city. But the brief kisses, kind words, and soft touches on the waist, thighs, arms, neck, jaw, nose, back, anything? Those were all worth it.

The following day you learned you couldn’t leave your neighborhood. You video-chatted with him in tears. If only you had let yourself follow the thoughts of moving in with him instead of stamping them out as soon as they started to take root in your head. If only you had let him spend the night one more time. So you wouldn’t be clinging to his fading smell on the t-shirt you stole from his closet.

It was like your whole world cut out when the strikes started. No internet. No cell service. No connection. The postal service was all but gone, and you had no way of connecting with him. Your only source of news was the newspaper, three times a week, delivered to your doorstep. And your neighbor who got it every day and would shout to you the important things.

You wished you had photos of him framed around the house. 

Then when you did, the sight of him staring at you from every corner of your apartment was enough to drive you mad with longing that you took them all down. 

When the government got the strikes under control, they started to introduce the plans for rolling out the internet services again. Things had become grim. You spent every night dreaming of him, but you were starting to forget his face. Did his nose curve that much?  Were the creases around his eyes that deep? Was his shabby beard that full? Did he have dimples, or were you just making that up?

You would stare at the photos on your phone, desperately trying to commit him to memory. Remember how he looked when the man in the photo came to life in three dimensions. How did he walk? How did he wave his hands?

By that time, life was different. You didn’t make art anymore. What was once your life had been shoved into your studio room, the light turned off, and the tubes of paint left to dry up. Your apartment didn’t smell like clay and charcoal and linseed oil anymore. You didn’t have it in you to keep painting. You went to the grocery store once every fourteen days, grabbing produce and frozen goods, bottles of alcohol and some cleaning supplies before handing over your newly minted ration card to receive the staples. Rice, pasta, beans, eggs, flour, sugar, a couple bags of dried fruit, a bottle of milk. It wasn’t so bad when you lived on your own, but you felt bad for the mothers and fathers in line behind you, knowing that their children might be too picky to even eat the food they were lucky to get.

The introduction of connectivity services was a slow process. Neighborhood by neighborhood across the country so as not to overwhelm the systems. There were new rules. It was only to be used for three things: education, work, and essential communication between legal family members.

Your finger hovered over the call button next to his name hundreds of times, but you could never press it out of fear that someone would be watching or listening. You knew that when you walked the streets they were. It was likely the same for your phone now too.

One day in a drunken fit of anger and yearning and the craze of love, you deleted all the photos on your phone, hoping that maybe without them you could forget how much you missed him.

You tried to forget him. But every night you dreamt of his slowly warping face. You wondered if he was doing the same.

Sometimes you would watch the DVDs you had and try to replace his image in your head with the actors. Sometimes it would work and weeks would go by with only dreams of the movies. But it would always lose its effectiveness. Usually around the time that you remembered that he was probably your soulmate and you didn’t get enough time.

In every single one of the possibilities of your lives together that you daydreamed about for hours every day, there was never enough time. But this reality was the worst. You were sure of that.

You had read every book in your house. Read every poem you could get your hands on, even the ones you had risked your life for in searching them on the internet, carefully saving pdfs and screenshots and printing them out on the dwindling paper in your apartment. Words didn’t do the same thing they used to anymore. They didn’t bring joy and excitement and escape. You stopped reading them.

You talked with your neighbor for the first time in a month. It seemed that almost everyone had stopped reading books. You wondered if people stopped doing other things too. 

The world before was starting to blur around the edges. You couldn’t remember if the path you liked to walk in the park had such an erratic course or if it was more subtle than you could remember. What did you like to do on the weekends? There was a place, a building, that you liked to go to. You couldn’t remember what it was called or what was inside, but you remember the feeling of standing there. The musty smell and the awe and the sensation that you were staring out at all of humanity. And you had no idea what the fuck it was. 

You weren’t sure how much of the world before you had forgotten. But you couldn’t shake him from your memory. You wished you could. 

When you weren’t working you were cooking or eating or sleeping. And when you weren’t doing that, it constituted the dangerous time where you didn’t have anything to do and nothing to interest you.

And every fucking thing you did, be that making pasta or lying on the floor and staring at the ceiling, made you think of him. You had loved him as you’d never loved anyone before. And you never told him. Did he even know that you loved him? Did he know that you knew he loved you back?

You would close your eyes and the only thing you were sure of in your mind’s image of him was that goddamn smile.

.

taglists; (let me know if you want to be added, removed, or moved around)

perm taglist; @turquiosenights @el-lizzie​ @sparrows-books​ @dxxkxx​ @opheliaelysia​ @trashbin2​ @rzrcrst​ @arcadianempress​ @stevieharrrr​ @peterparkers-tingle​ @blushingwueen​ @coredrive​ @lokiaddicted​ @mserynlarsen​ @badassbaker​ @1-800-fandomtrashqueen​ @flower-petal-blooming​ @talesfromtheguild​ @eupphoriaaa​ @weirdowithnobeardo​ @gaybroadwayloser​ @randomness501​ @adikaofmandalore​ @ahopelessromanticwritersworld​ @poesdxmerons​ @bountyguild​ @sinnamon-bunn​ @readsalot73​ @gooddaykate​ @rage-isaquietthing​

pedro taglist; @pascalisthepunkest​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​ @mrsparknuts​ @souls-rain​ @twomoonstwosuns​ @sophiasescape​

[gwendolynnderolo]

Funniest RWRB lines part 5:

Alex: ‘Are you implying that you’re James I and I’m some hot, dumb jock? I’m more than fantastic bone structure and an ass you can bounce a quarter on, Henry!!!!’

Nora: ‘i’m going for, like, depressed lesbian poet who met a hot yoga instructor at a speakeasy who got her super into meditation and pottery, and now she’s starting her new life as a high-powered businesswoman selling her own line of hand-thrown fruit bowls’ Henry: ‘Bitch, you took me there.’

Alex: “Just so we’re clear, I’m about to have sex with you in this storage closet to spite your family. Like, that’s what’s happening?” Henry: “Right.” Alex: “Awesome, fuckin’ love doing things out of spite.”

Zahra: “This has been going on for seven months? That’s why you-oh my god, I thought you were getting into international relations or something.” Alex: “I mean, technically-“ Zahra: “If you finish that sentence, I’m gonna spend tonight in jail.”

Henry: ‘The phrase “see attached bibliography” is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me.’

Henry: “Sorry, I was looking for someone else. Handsome, petulant, short, not pleasant until after ten a.m.? Have you seen him?” Alex: “Fuck off, five-nine is average.”

Alex: “Really nice. Fuckin’ ghost me for a week, make me stand in the rain like a brown John Cusack, and now you won’t even talk to me. I’m really just having a great time here. I can see why y’all had to marry your fucking cousins.”

Alex: “Stop, are you kidding me? Prince Consort Road? Oh my God, take a picture of me with the sign.”

Alex: “I’m taking a picture of a national gay landmark. And also a statue.”

Alex: “Oh, yeah. The top list of reasons to love you goes brain, then dick, then imminent status as a revolutionary gay icon.”

Henry: ‘I should have just packed a bag like I said. I could be in your bed, languishing away until I perish, fat and sexually conquered, snuffed out in the spring of my youth. Here lies Prince Henry of Wales. He died as he lived: avoiding plans and sucking cock.’

Zahra: “Shaan. Listen up, you fuck. We are in the air right now. FSOTUS is with me. ETA six hours. You will have a car waiting. We will meet the queen and whoever the fuck else we have to meet to hash this shit out, or so help me God I will personally make your balls into fucking earrings. I will scorched-earth your entire motherfucking life.”

Zahra: “Look, I’m only going to say this once, and if you ever repeat it, I’ll have you kneecapped. I’m rooting for you, okay?” Alex: “Wait. Zahra. Oh my God. I just realized. You’re...my friend.” Zahra: “No, I’m not.” Alex: “Zahra, you’re my mean friend.” Zahra: “Am not. Don’t speak to me for the next six hours. I deserve a fucking nap.”

Zahra: “Now shut up and let me get some sleep before we have to deal with the rest of this. I’m running on nothing but black coffee, a Wetzel’s Pretzel, and a fistful of B12. Do not even breathe in my direction.”

Shaan: “It’s fine. This is why we set rules about the personal-slash-professional lines at the outset of the relationship. It works for us.” Zahra: “If you want a fight, you should have seen it when I found out he had known about you two all along. Why do you think I got a rock this big?” Shaan: “It usually works for us.” Zahra: “Yep. Plus, we banged it out last night.”

Bea: “*after dumping a pot of tea in Philip’s lap* Oh, I’m terribly sorry, Pip! So dreadfully clumsy. You know, I think all that cocaine I did must have really done a job on my reflexes!”

Nora: “Sorry. I drank like nine Red Bulls to get through all of those and ate a weed gummy to level back out, so I’m flying at fasten-seat-belts right now.”

Alex: “Why do you even have a staff? Nobody has ever tried to stop me from walking straight in here.” Luna: “If you think I don’t tell every hire on their first day that you have a free pass, you do not have an accurate sense of yourself.”

Alex: “But also, I hope you know that if you ever call me ‘kid’ again after all this, I am literally going to kick your ass.” Luna: “Listen, you’ve had your first big sex scandal. No more sitting at the kids’ table.”

[iluvromance]

okay welcome back to júlia ( @harryhoney-bee​ ) and sarah read the princess diaries. we’ve just finished the third book, princess in love, and here are our thoughts:

- michael can skate backwards. that’s it. that’s the tweet.

- judith and michael are kinda cute. they’re so similar and totally vibe together. we think if we weren’t all MIA AND MICHAEL, we’d totally be all about this ship.

- in conclusion, we don’t hate judith.

- someone needs to call PETA on grandmere because the way she be treating rommel is super questionable and borderline abusive.

- lilly has a right to be annoyed at mia (sarah would be the same way), but she has no reason to be angry.

- we find out at the end that lilly knew about mia and michael’s feelings for each other, so she probably wasn’t upset at mia complaining about her boyfriend as much as she was upset at kenny, an innocent bystander, coming between them and being treated like this. she said kenny rights.

- why the fuck isn’t mia in therapy? i mean:

- there is NO WAY michael didn’t notice mia staring at his lips when he was at the salad bar talking about his cavity.

- who the heck talks about CAVITIES to their crush. michael, that’s who. and you know why? BECAUSE THEY’RE SO COMFORTABLE WITH EACH OTHER.

- this is what we found super interesting. michael tells mia to come by the computer club’s booth on the 9th, but mia doesn’t send the first letter until the 10th. there are two theories about this. 1. michael was going to confess his love after becoming too exhausted watching mia and kenny... do all that. or 2. michael was just going to show her the castle and garden and all that, but he decided to add the mimicking poem when he got word that mia was the one sending the letters.

- bruh, the THRILL he must have felt when lilly told him it was mia-

- it’s surprising that lilly didn’t blow up about mia not telling her about her feelings.

- kenny is bland. we don’t know how to explain this but he is very bland.

- mia argues that michael only tutored her in algebra because she’s lilly’s best friend HOWEVER when lilly and mia stopped being friends in the first book, did michael stop tutoring her? NO. mia says it brought them closer. michael never even considered for a moment to stop tutoring her.

- mia says “um okay” when kenny says he loves her and it’s the FUNNIEST THING EVER.

- kenny played his cards right and should get to date mia for a little bit. even if it’s like a few weeks, you know?

- we TOTALLY feel bad for kenny, but come on. the dude yelled that he loved her from the third floor hallway. chill out my dude. and no that is not romantic. that is SO embarrassing.

- mia needs to stop bullying boris. LEAVE HIM ALONE.

- oh to be michael when mia hugs him randomly. 

- sebastiano is SO CUTE!!!

- MIA’S POEMS ARE SO BAD HOLY SHIT

- we were TOTALLY right about lilly thinking of michael as her test subject. she literally admits to that!! big brain things. 

- the way lilly could have ended all this back and forth between michael and mia... she’s literally like lars. they sat back and enjoyed it. but this is kinda weird because she still got mad at mia for treating kenny like that even though lilly had the option of fixing everything with a single email to both michael and mia. it’s just odd that she wanted all this to happen. is lilly a gemini?

- michael’s tongue game is BOMB DOT COM.

- GRANDMERE CALLED HER MIA!!! TWICE IN ONE SCENE!!!!!!!!! 

- why tf is fat louie so high maintenance? just drink tap water homie you’re a cat it’s not a big deal.

- “Or how sometimes, like when I do my Lana Weinberger imitation or whatever, he throws back his head and laughs." sarah and júlia are ded

- no but mr. g is the baddest bitch for not ratting out mia about the fire alarm.

- we are constantly simping for michael. we’re probably just touch starved but you know.

- a sum of the entire book: