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myfairstarlight · 5 months ago

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To Have and to Hold - Penelope and Colin's journey to self-love

Companion piece - or one might say part 2 - of An Ode to Friends to Lovers.

Goddammit this was not supposed to be or take this long.

Ahum. Some time has passed, and after sorting through all my thoughts and feelings, here it finally is, my endless ramblings about two friends in love, but not only.

If anyone asks, no I did not take this long to write this post because of the fact that when taking screenshots to illustrate some parts of this analysis I ended up rewatching whole episodes instead.

So, dearest gentle readers, here's my Bridgerton s3 review, with focus on part 2, but looking at the season as a whole too; the highlights, the let downs, and polin's full love story, let's dive in, shall we?

The one thing I really liked about s3, something the other seasons could not do, is how so much is structured around parallels and callbacks to previous seasons, in the narration and in the visuals, for both Penelope and Colin. It is the advantage of having a main couple who's been here from the start, and with them, many other characters get weaved into their story, more particularly in part 2. I think that's why I personally did not mind the fact we did not get flashback sequences, unlike previous seasons (although I would have loved to see baby Colin and Penelope meeting... perhaps with Edmund and Violet watching them play and noting how they were childhood friends as well...) And what can I say? I'm a sucker for parallels as someone who loves to look at the details and perhaps overthink things.

So before we tackle Penelope and Colin individually and as a pair, let's talk about:

Eloise's love for Penelope

Eloise ends up being the catalyst for this second part, when she was mostly an observer in part 1. In many ways, she parallels Colin. Childhood friends with Penelope, betrayed by the Whistledown reveal, and yet still caring and protecting Penelope in her own way, which also paralleled Colin. And because I can, here's a small list:

Eloise distracting Cressida so she does not bully Penelope (s3e1) / Colin refusing a dance with Cressida to dance with Pen instead (s1e1)

Eloise running after her at the Four Seasons ball after accidentally revealing her and Colin's secret / Colin running after Penelope at the ball in s3e1

Colin visiting Penelope to apologise for his comment last season and offering the lessons to help her find a husband / Eloise visiting her to apologise and wish her the best in her endeavour to find a husband

Colin leaving to travel and find himself at the end of previous seasons but staying now / Eloise now travelling to Scotland to find herself

Now that we have the whole season, you can tell that in part 1, she foreshadowed how Colin would react in part 2, he just goes through her whole journey in a lot less time. See the direct parallel at the beginning of e5 as Eloise yells at Penelope and storms out, then Colin swoops in and comforts her, and then the end of e7, where Colin is the one upset with Penelope and after he storms out, Eloise is there, hugging her best friend and telling her everything will be alright.

When one is absent, the other is there for Penelope, because despite everything they love her and they know that through the years, Penelope has loved and supported them as well, even if she was still hiding this big part of her. Penelope makes Eloise feel listened to, and makes Colin feel seen. She was their safe space as much as they were hers.

Eloise is also the very reason Colin learning about Whistledown goes so wrong. She is the one pressuring Penelope to tell him, and also the one who eventually tells her to never tell him the truth when Cressida comes forward and claims to be Whistledown. Yes, Penelope is definitely still at fault as well for taking so long to tell him, but to her credit she did intend on telling him after publishing one last column discrediting Cressida, before being convinced to give it up by Eloise. And then when Cressida manages to publish something, and Eloise is terrified about what it means considering she just broke off their friendship, it is to protect Eloise from her ire that Penelope takes her quill again and sneaks out to publish, which leads to Colin finding out.

Then comes her scene with Colin as he asks his sister how long she's known, where all the parallels come through.

"Have you already forgiven her?"

"I want to. Do you think you can?"

Colin goes on to say Eloise is lucky that she's never been in love, implying that his love for Penelope makes it that much harder to forgive. However, he fails to understand that Eloise is in love as well, perhaps not in the romantic sense, but she is, or she would not have been this distraught for a year over her falling out with Penelope, and yet always somewhat keeping an eye on her. And just like how eventually, as push comes to shove, she finds her way back to Penelope, Colin will do much the same as a looming threat comes their way.

She and Colin are also similar in their insecurity regarding Penelope's love for them, and in turn Penelope spends a good length of the season reassuring them. She constantly tells Colin she loves him, especially after the reveal so he knows that this part of her was never deceiving. She reassures Eloise that their friendship is just as important as her love for Colin and she doesn't want to lose either of them.

The fascinating thing for me about Eloise when taking into account Polin, is that in part 1 they needed her to be away so Colin and Penelope could spend more time together uninterrupted, leading to Colin realising his feelings. This also applies to season 2 actually! While Eloise was in the hunt for LW and distracted by Theo, that's what allowed Colin and Penelope to have a full proper conversation about their purpose, and I'd argue that the moment Penelope said "my purpose shall set me free", something started to shift in their relationship.

In part 2, without Eloise, I wonder if they would have even been able to come together without any more secret between them, if she hadn't been the one to push Penelope to tell the truth, and then the one to support her while Colin was processing his own feelings.

Penelope's ambitions and womanhood

Penelope's journey to self-confidence continues in part 2, this time in regards to Whistledown as she finally accepts her as a part of her, rather than a mask to hide behind. Enters Genevieve Delacroix, the only character in this show who knows what it means to be a woman with a business. It is no coincidence her scene in e6 comes after Portia's talk of "ladies do not have dreams" and after Eloise convinced Penelope to give up Whistledown, because it is just gossip. She directly opposes them.

In part 1, she helped Penelope be more confident by providing her with a new wardrobe that fits her better, and in part 2, Gen is the very reason Penelope learns to be proud of Whistledown, own up to the mistakes, and yet fully claim her as her.

And then, the final nail in the coffin to me: Cressida, in a red "revenge" dress, shows up at the Mondrich ball, and wields the Whistledown name as Confident by Demi Lovato plays in the background. Cressida stands tall and proud despite the whispers, and I think a part of Penelope truly broke then. If Cressida could exhume such confidence for a body of work which is not even hers, then why can't Penelope be proud of what she's accomplished? This past week has been killing her, she admits it to Gen the eve of her wedding, Colin was a great distraction but giving up Whistledown, putting down her quill, it truly hurt her, and a part of her cannot imagine giving it up again. And so Gen gives her the very advice she needed to hear.

"There is no such thing as true love without embracing your true self."

And look at the contrast before vs after her talk with Gen:

Colin, of course, shares Eloise's point of view, Penelope should just give it up, and to be fair, he's more scared for her safety, since he caught her alone in the street at night, and then the Queen just threatened the family again. But Penelope cannot stand for that anymore, she is tired of running and hiding. That is Penelope having the confidence to truly be herself. By the end of e7, she's fully bloomed into the woman she's always been behind her quill. The irony being that Colin was also the one who helped her embrace that in part 1, as he helped her bring out that part of her that he's always been privileged to.

And in e8, we see her take the reins. Do what must be done to protect the ones she cares about.

So let's talk about Portia now, because she may not have a business per se, but she had to essentially become "the man of the house" to keep her daughters safe and the fortune they have intact. I've seen people say her redemption came out of nowhere but I concur that in part 1, as Penelope's confidence starts to grow and she stands up to her family, Portia is already trying to be a better, supportive mother, and in turn, Prudence and Philippa follow her lead. Portia is a practical woman, not a sentimental one, at least she doesn't let herself be, that we have seen since the beginning of the show, that's why she was reprimanding Penelope for being reckless with her reputation by asking for Colin's help, and then was pushing for the match with Debling, because he was a lord, who could offer stability, and who would be away most of the time, leaving the managing of his estate to his wife, to Portia that is (or rather, was) the ideal life a woman can achieve.

I loved that they had Portia learn about Whistledown before the public reveal, because then she has to truly face the fact that she has overlooked Penelope all this time, the daughter who is most like her, and Portia is also the only one who points out that Penelope has written badly about herself. It forces Penelope to face the fact that in many ways, she truly is her mother's daughter as well.

Portia ends up being the driving force behind Penelope's decision to reveal herself as well, I believe. Because we joke about how Penelope hid so much money in the floor boards while her family was going broke but mind you, she had no idea they were having money problems, because Portia tried to hide it to not worry them, the same way Penelope has kept her Whistledown secret in the misguided belief that it was for the better, that she could handle the weight of it all on her own. By revealing herself to the Queen, she could free Colin from her mess, get away from Cressida's blackmail and, if the Queen doesn't behead her, she can save her family's title thanks to her writing and money.

Portia's and Penelope's mending relationship was the highlight of the season for me, the true redemption I wanted to see and am glad I got. And I want to point out a little sweet moment in the last episode:

After the Whistledown reveal, as Portia comes over to praise her daughter, she notices Colin looking in their direction. I personally believe Penelope told her about the annulment, and this is her way to support her before she sends her off to have that conversation with Colin. Portia, who's never been the affectionate mother before, gently caresses her cheek and calls her "My girl", because no matter the outcome she will always remain her little girl.

The beautiful thing about Penelope's ambitions is that they were driven by the women in her life, that's one strength of this season to me. She was inspired by Eloise's strong opinions she so readily shared, Portia's sometimes ruthless ways in the way she protects her family and herself, and Genevieve's smart business endeavours and passion. And so she cannot, won't give that up for a society who is so unfair to women, ironically because the Queen herself is so harsh on debutantes. And isn't it poetic cinema that she ends up revealing herself, in her own terms, during the very ball she fully funded? And after that, it is Philippa, her family she mended things with, who saves her from embarrassment by releasing the butterflies? And then the very same Philippa who during the epilogue, happily declares that her daughter can grow into a successful writer who might not need a husband, just like her little sister?

Side note again but it is also interesting that in contrast we had the Mondrich subplot, wherein Will has to let go of his bar to be accepted in high society (and he's clearly not happy about it), because the London elites do not work, yet here Penelope is, owning a business approved by the Queen.

Penelope's ambitions, in turn, inspire others. Portia, into allowing herself to be soft, Prudence to be more honest (the pregnancy hormones probably helped too), Philippa to readily consider other paths in life, and Eloise into finally doing something and discover a little bit of the world.

And she inspires another Bridgerton as well.

Penelope's bravery and Colin's envy

The thing about Penelope and Colin, and that has been said before, is that their roles are reversed. In romance shows such as these, the man is usually the one with a hard exterior, with secrets he wishes to keep to himself while the woman is the one who encourages him to open up by loving him. That is literally s1 with Simon and Daphne. And even in some ways, it is also Anthony and Kate, the difference being that Kate was not trying to get Anthony to soften up, she was directly confronting him so he fixes his shit himself (I still have beef with Anthony, good for him for becoming a My Wife guy in s3 but man, the journey there was tough).

Anyway. With Penelope and Colin? Penelope is the one with the secrets, who wishes, at first, for a practical match so she may gain her freedom. Colin is the soft-hearted and romantic one, who although offers the lessons, keeps asking her if she likes any of the suitors she talks to. And then, it shifts again. Not in the literal sense, Colin has no secret after he's dropped his rake façade, but he does become a bit colder after the Whistledown reveal, while Penelope becomes the one reassuring him she loves him, and emphasising their emotional bond after she's gained the confidence to do so and accepted that a love match was still in the cards for her. But now, they must overcome Whistledown, the last obstacle she's been hiding behind.

"Well, if she was hiding behind Whistledown, how come Colin calls her brave even before the reveal?"

Well, I'm glad you asked, imaginary person in my head! Let's dial back a bit again.

I am a firm believer that Colin's envy towards Penelope (and him realising his romantic feelings) actually started back in s2, during their talk about purpose. She was the one leading the conversation then, who knew what her purpose would be, and to him, that is bravery, being true to oneself and knowing your place. And we see how in s3 part 1, Colin resorts to adopting a whole new persona, something Penelope does not do, even after changing her entire wardrobe and facing the Ton's eyes, she remains herself (and she is capable of acting! She effortlessly disguises herself as a maid and fakes an accent when delivering the Whistledown papers), and I think Colin noticed that. She has a new dress, and her hair looks different, but she's still Pen, meanwhile he, on the other hand, is pretending to be someone else. And when the scandal about the lessons came out, Penelope still showed her face when people were still preoccupied by the scandal. Debling says it best:

"Well done."

"For being a fool?"

"For stepping away from the herd, even though you risked becoming a target."

Penelope's bravery and honesty are the very reason Debling is interested in her, rather than in Cressida; she knows who she is, and what she likes (whereas Cressida adapts). Sure, he was not looking for a love match, but he was looking for authenticity, which Penelope always had. Because she's terrible at hiding her identity, actually. Eloise guesses it's her after listening to her once! Penelope has never hidden how much she likes gossip. In s2e1 she admits it outright that being a wallflower allows her to hear everything.

Colin rereads her letters and realises, wait, she really is Whistledown, she writes the same way, and although he had mixed feelings about Whistledown, he described her as clever, a quality he's always associated with Penelope as well. She says shit like "it would have been suspicious if she hadn't written about this scandal"... like that girl is not good at hiding herself actually, has never been, it's just that no one really paid her any notice and she was not put into the spotlight until now. I think a part of her unconsciously wanted them to connect the dots because the loneliness was getting to her but she was still scared to own up to it, so she continued to lie.

She's always been true to herself to some degree though, which is its own form of bravery, but she's never had the courage to ask for what she wanted before Colin helped her build her confidence. Colin, on the other hand, may be dense and oblivious, but when he wants something, he is not shy about it, and can even be a bit too impulsive. He's the one who always seeks her out and always tries to protect her and make her happy.

In part 2, as Penelope truly embraces all of herself, just like Colin is learning to be more vulnerable and let go of his ego, the dynamic between them shifts. He's the man, but she got the power.

It started when she gathered the courage to ask for that first kiss, which changed everything, and it solidified when she is the one who seeks Colin at their wedding breakfast. In that instant, he's the wallflower, and she's the one pulling him into the centre and dance in broad daylight.

And this translates in the bedroom too as she goes from following his lead to riding his d-

Ahum, who said that? Anyway, topic at hand. As the dynamic shifts, as Penelope learns to truly be herself and Colin learns the truth, that is when his envy and lack of direction in his own life become too much, and he cannot avoid it anymore. Because he thought he had found his purpose at last, be Penelope's husband, take care of her, provide for her, be the head of their family. But now he learns she's been living a dangerous double life this whole time, that she "mocked" him at the beginning of the season, and she might not even need him to protect her as much as he thought she did because she has money and a prolific career despite being a young lady with minimal agency.

And he had already been struggling before the reveal. In all of part 1, he was grappling with his sense of self, realising that pretending was not worth it if he felt empty and if it meant losing Penelope in the process as well. And in part 2, we already saw him struggling with his writing, only able to write again after Penelope tells him she's loved him for years. And then, he refuses Penelope's help to edit his journals into a book because he wants to prove to himself and to her that he could do it on his own. That he is worthy of her love.

Also note that at that point, Penelope had given up on Whistledown, and wanted to live through him by editing for him as well. Just before, we had the scene where she burned her old Whistledown issues at the same time as Colin was writing, suddenly overcome with inspiration (in this regard, I like that the show ends up allowing Penelope to keep the column and still help Colin with his book, rather than her giving up LW like in the book, where she lives vicariously through him. I know she eventually becomes a romance author in the books, and I hope she also reaches that point in the show, but it is nice she does not have to give up her pen first, you know?)

So when Colin learns she's been a published writer this whole time while he was struggling to find a purpose? Penelope started Whistledown in her first year out after all, at the exact same time, Colin wanted to prove to his family that he can be taken seriously, leading to his disastrous betrothal that season. He had needed to travel to find himself, and even then, it didn't give him the answers he was seeking, and no one was taking his newfound experiences seriously, except Penelope. He's a third son, neither the Viscount, neither the spare, so he had nothing to himself. But Penelope is much in the same situation, a third daughter, from a family less fortunate that his, and yet she has accomplished more than he has. He was already so insecure about his love being unrequited but now that he knows she does not even need to rely on him for financial stability and security? Let's dive more into that, shall we?

Colin's self-worth and ambitions

I've seen a lot of people lament the fact that Colin does not feel as much of a protagonist as Penelope, and while I agree to some degree, such argument fails to take into account the fact that he is the reason the season exists in the first place, not just on a meta level because he's a Bridgerton, but because every action he takes progresses the story. Colin is the driving force of the narrative, while Penelope is the heart of it because he loves her.

He offers the lessons to make up for his comment last season, leading to Penelope gaining in confidence. He interrupts Debling's imminent proposal and chases Penelope's carriage, leading to the engagement. He confronts Portia, leading to her re-evaluating the way she treats her daughters and the Featheringtons mending their relationship. He confronts Eloise and reminds her how obsessed she used to be with Penelope, leading to the reconciliation between the two. He follows Penelope out of worry and learns about Whistledown. When the blackmail happens, he confronts Cressida, this time things get worse (his infamous impulsiveness biting him in the ass once more), but it is still furthering the narrative, leading to Penelope taking things into her own hands and revealing herself in her own terms.

His actions are loud, however his internal growth is much more subtle and we get less scenes of him alone compared to Penelope. And that, I agree, is a weakness of this season. I mean, he spends barely 1/8 of the season upset at Penelope, when people act like he was for half the season. If you watch from the start instead of just looking at part 2, Polin have a lot more happy and cute scenes than angsty ones. Hell! They have more kisses than saphne and kanthony in their own seasons combined, I bet (I didn't count, truth be told, but since they get together halfway through the season, as opposed to in the later half, and had their first kiss in episode 2, I think it's a safe bet to make) (Edit from Star from the future here: so I admit I was wrong. Simon and Daphne have definitely more kisses because they had so many intimacy scenes upon rewatch. I just forgot about them, my bad (mostly, I tend to block out That Scene too, so). Anthony and Kate, on the other hand, were robbed. It's kinda funny Bridgerton built a reputation to be quite spicy, only for none of the seasons after s1 matching the same level lol). I also do feel like a few flashback scenes of him during his travels, waiting for Penelope's letters but getting none as he starts to act like a rake to compensate for the loneliness, contrasted with the lesson scenes in part 1 where he is carefree and silly with Penelope could have benefited his character. I personally do not think he was treated as a "love interest", he carries the season just as much as Penelope, but his emotional weight is lesser than hers, and that was an issue with the writing and pacing.

So here, I must redirect to my other Colin analysis post, as well as this one comparing book vs show portrayal, and though those were unorganised immediate thoughts after watching the show (and vague memories of the book), I still mostly stand by them and so I can also avoid repeating what I've already written.

Colin's insecurity regarding love is a direct result of s1 and, once again, Marina. The parallels between Marina and Penelope are kinda in your face, especially with Colin dropping the entrapment line.

Side note but between Anthony and Colin trying to get with a family member of their future wives first, I sure hope we won't learn Sophie is related to Lady Tilly Arnold or something because otherwise there's a pattern within the ABC bros.

Another thing is that when Marina's lie was revealed, she admits everything else was a lie as well, including her love for him. He was a means to an end, and there's no reason to pretend anymore. But with Penelope? She still tells him she loves him after the fact, and several times after that. Note that, just like with Marina, he learns of the Big Secret while they're engaged. Just like for Marina, he could just walk away now, Penelope even asks him if he wishes to cry off, but he doesn't.

Colin and emotional intimacy

I already made a post about this, but I will reiterate some points anyhow this time, because I need to make some comparisons with Book!Colin, since I've seen a lot of people be upset that unlike his book counterpart, Show!Colin is not physically affectionate with Penelope while still angry at her. So to address this, let's talk about his journals. It is no coincidence that instead of beautiful descriptions of places he's visited, in the show Penelope reads about his experiences with the "women in Paris" and how empty they make him feel. In the book, Colin is older, he is a rake and very much enjoys ladies' company, but in the show, he's only pretending to be one. It's one change they made I liked, to make him different from Anthony and Benedict (when in the books, all these men sorta blend together if I have to be honest). He's the sweet, sensitive brother, who seeks emotional and physical intimacy. Sure, he has experiences, especially after being mocked for being too green, but they felt like obligations, rather than acts of passion (Benedict) or distractions (Anthony). It is also significant that every time someone asks him about his experiences in part 1, he only ever talks about one contessa and never brings up other women, unlike in his journals where, of course, he goes into more details, knowing no one can judge him there.

And then Penelope reads those words, the depths of his mind and his insecurity, and yet she praises him for his writing, rather than mock him for his feelings of inadequacy. That is when it clicks in Colin's mind, although unconsciously, because he flashes back to that scene when he realises his feelings - Penelope is the only other person he feels comfortable enough with to share such thoughts. That's why their first time is such a contrast with the carriage scene, where it was a moment of passion as they get carried (hah!) away after confessing to each other. He was reeling from realising his feelings and narrowly stopping Penelope's engagement to Debling. There was urgency and then relief. Here, it is slower, more tender, because to Colin, this is it, this is where he can prove to Penelope that this was not a mistake, than he can take care of her, bring her pleasure like she could never imagine. He makes sure to tell Penelope how much he loves her, he asks her consent several times, he makes sure she is comfortable. It's a little awkward, unlike the carriage scene, because this is the real and full deal and he sure does not want to mess it up. After all:

That's why I'm not too mad we did not get a montage with them. Their two major intimate scenes are long sequences with few cuts, emphasised by their proximity and the comfort they feel around each other. They're emotional. They're supposed to make the viewer feel like they're interrupting. And Colin does not want to taint these two experiences, that's why the last intimate scene we get is after they reconcile (though we deserved a longer one). So, to quote myself: Colin does not let his lust take over when he's upset, because Penelope means too much to him. He does not want to lay together only to wake up in a cold bed and still be fighting in the morning. He wants to be hers, body and soul, fully and assuredly, and until he accepts the fact he loves her because of Whistledown and not despite since they are one and the same, then he cannot promise Penelope all of himself either. In his mind, he may be afraid that this emotional intimacy he felt with Penelope when they laid together will be ruined, or just simply gone while he is so tortured by the Whistledown reveal. Everything else is a mess right now but that part of their relationship? It was pure and sincere, and he wants to keep it that way.

And not to dunk on Book!Colin again but that man had anger issues and could be violent, he knew he was hurting her sometimes and did not do shit to stop that. Why would you prefer that over Show!Colin keeping a respectful distance and yet still staying close to Penelope, trying his best to protect her despite it all?

After all, the only time he gives in while they're still fighting is when they argue in the streets and Penelope shouts "I love you" to his face. That is the first time she confesses in the present tense. And for a second, Colin's walls crumble. He's a sensitive man, after all, even when he's upset, he ends up tearing up, so the declaration of love answering his "Then what good am I to you?", a question encompassing all of his insecurities in a few words, well, it's the emotional outburst that makes him almost give in, if they weren't in the middle of the street with carriages passing by. They were also both tipsy in that scene lol.

And while I'm at it, let's link back to my post regarding the entrapment line and the annulment. One thing I fail to mention (there already are so much, to be fair) is that Colin throwing an entrapment accusation can also be interpreted as him giving himself an excuse to remain engaged. The previous episode, he was worried they got carried away in the carriage (and then their future home) and that Penelope was changing her mind. As already mentioned, at that point, just like with Marina he could just walk away. They're only engaged, and no one knows they have been intimate. Sure, it would go against his principles as a gentleman but honestly he already broke them several times when Penelope is involved. And he knows that. He never actually intends to back down, he is determined to marry Penelope, as he said in that carriage this is "a feeling that is like torture, but one I cannot, will not, do not want to give up". But in that one moment, he was hurt and angry and knew what to say to hurt, and did not want to admit that he would have stayed either way because he loves her (and frankly, in this situation, Penelope is in the wrong and she kinda deserves to feel bad about wanting to hide such a thing from him, even if the accusation itself is unfair). So he gives the decision some duty, some responsibility. He's a gentleman, so he must do what's objectively right. Because that is easier than looking into the complexity of his feelings.

And that is marriage to me. Marriage is not a happily ever after. It's a choice, to stay by someone's side through the good and the bad times. And in that moment, he also made his choice, and knew Penelope would be his wife. From then on, they learn to communicate. They were in sync as friends, but as a husband and wife? That is different, even if the foundation is similar, they need to relearn how to navigate life together.

Episode 8 is all about them figuring this out.

Take these scenes for example. First of all, this has been pointed out by many already but: Colin may be mad, but he still stays close to her by sleeping on the settee just outside their bedchamber instead of taking another room. That's dedication.

Right away, Colin establishes a boundary between them and asks for some space, however, he still waits for her to wake up to tell her rather than leave without a word and having the servants inform her. She's visibly upset about it, insisting he should stay so they can talk, but he still leaves. Halfway through the episode, the situation is now reversed, Penelope emerges, already dressed while Colin clearly has not slept all night, she tells him she is leaving and giving him the space he asked for, and it is Colin's turn to be upset and realising that, no, actually he does not really like that distance anymore.

Note that until that point, they both were very confrontational whenever Whistledown was brought up, Penelope on the defensive and Colin on the offensive, they're both third children who were belittled so that is how they respond - Penelope by standing her ground and refusing to budge, and Colin by attacking and asserting himself. But here, Penelope listens to Colin's wants, and lets go a little. She gives him the space he needs, all the while she is also planning how to fix all this mess without lying to or hurting more people. And then later on again, Colin is the one who listens to her needs and her plan. That is the beginning of a healthy marriage as they both let go of their egos, as they both take a step back to listen to the other and realising they no longer have to do things alone, because actually, that distance between them was hurting both of them. Penelope accepts she can rely on others' support and Colin accepts that it is not what he can do that makes him worthy, but simply who he is.

People lament that in the Whistledown public reveal, Colin ended up not contributing much, as opposed to his book counterpart, but that is literally what Penelope asked him to do. She does not need a hero, she needs her Colin. Kind, supportive Colin, who reassured her with a simple smile and a nod on their wedding day, and who did the same when she stepped into the light once more at the Butterfly Ball. He gives her courage, by virtue of being there and loving her. Just like she gives him a purpose by simply loving him as well. The very thing Colin envied, Penelope's bravery? Well, he is one of the reasons it exists in the first place.

In the book, Penelope had no idea Colin was planning to reveal her identity, until the last, like, five minutes. He also told Anthony and Simon behind her back. I love the balcony scene but it always bothered me that Penelope's agency in that decision was taken from her. Therefore I love that they gave it back to her in the show. Just like she said in s1e8, Whistledown cannot be unmasked but if one day she shall be, then it would be in her own terms.

(I also want to say though that despite my criticisms earlier, Book!Polin remain one of my favourite dynamics in the books because despite it all, they're one of the healthiest couples. They work together as a team, and it helps Colin learned about LW before he proposed. They discuss Cressida's blackmail, whereas in the show Colin first dismisses Penelope in his need to prove himself capable of protecting her. We see them encourage each other in their writing more than in the show (fingers crossed for s4 though!) and they even discuss how they will keep Pen's Whistledown money for their children. They're a team, through and through, and in the show, we see the start of that, which makes sense, their show counterparts are ten years younger, not as mature as they are on paper.)

All through part 2, Colin stayed true to his confession in that carriage. His love was like torture. He was so insecure about Penelope not loving him as much as he does, questioning what good he even is to her and if she just lied. And yet he held on and did not want to give it up, he embraced it rather than ran from it like the other leads we had so far. He was shattered by the Whistledown secret and yet, he remained, worked through his sense of self, through his anger, through his insecurity, because Penelope is worth it. He was willing to lie for her, to lie to Benedict to get the money needed, to protect her. And Penelope clung to him just as fiercely, always reminding him that she loves him for simply being him. One always has worth. That is the validation Colin has always craved, that is when it truly sinks in for him and that he understands her selfless love for him; he does not need to pretend, he does not need to be useful, he does not need to have everything figured out, he can breathe. Penelope will be there every step of the way. Has always been, in fact, she's always been a constant in his life, and now that he is lucky enough to stand by her side and soak even a little bit of her light, well, he sure won't ever let go again.

And to end this section, not really a point of analysis, but shoutout to my girl Pen whose first instinct when she realises she can touch Colin is to reach for his hair and boy does he melt at the touch. Unlocked his hair pulling kink right there.

This is still a friends to lovers story

Fear not, the romcom vibes are still here! I kept this part for the last to end on a sweet note, just like this season. And this is also the part where I stop pretending to be a reviewer and I just allow myself to be self-indulgent, pointing out how cute these two are.

So, first of all:

They just fucked and what's the first thing they do together? Laugh. In the carriage, Colin did make a joke, prompting the laughing but in the mirror scene? They simply look at each other and start chuckling because they are so giddy upon realising this is real, they're best friends, and they're in love, and they'll be married and they will soon be able to do this whenever they want. Then, Penelope lets out a bit of her insecurity, hoping this was just as good for Colin as it was for her since she knew he was more experienced, and when he reassures her, Penelope grins and jokes about "the women in Paris", which she does again during the Mondrich ball, teasing him about the spicy parts of his journals. She is so secure in their relationship, she feels no jealousy towards Colin's past experiences but bet if anyone ever brings up Debling again, Colin would lose it, and I kinda wish we had at least one scene of Colin properly addressing his one-sided beef with Debling.

During their whole engagement (and before the LW reveal), they're just so incredibly in love, so sweet it might give you cavities, and it was such a breath of fresh air after two seasons and one spin-off of the main couple never really embracing their love until the later part of the seasons. The way Colin makes Penelope smile during the reading bans scene, then when they dance alone in the church, or when Colin adds the twirl (the flourish!) during the dance at the Mondrich ball and then when they laugh at the Butterfly Ball when everything is said and done and they can finally, fully be themselves... They are just two romantics at heart who are thrilled to be in love and miss no opportunity to flaunt it in front of the Ton who's always judged them so harshly. I wish I could include videos in this because posting screenshots would not give those moments justice.

And the comedic aspect of the romcom vibes of this season are still present in part 2, although a bit overshadowed by the Whistledown drama but I mean:

Penelope and Colin finally having a chaperone in Portia, and having no idea how to act now because they never had to worry about a chaperone before (and by that point, Penelope is already pregnant)

Poor Kanthony trying to find the right time to announce the pregnancy but here come Polin, getting engaged out of nowhere

Portia and Violet's tentative beginning of friendship, wherein Violet is trying so hard to be polite when faced with Portia's over-enthusiastic attitude

The whole charade scene with Anthony getting so competitive and glaring at poor Penelope when she gets the answers right.

All the times someone brought up Whistledown's imminent unmasking and Penelope taking psyching damage every time (meanwhile in part 1, it was everyone telling Colin how kind of him it is to help Pen find a husband). Peak "actions have consequences huh". She could not catch a break. Which okay, she was panicking and then fainted but I still find it a little funny because girl, you kinda had it coming.

The whole scene of Penelope revealing the money she made with Whistledown and Colin's, Eloise's and Portia's reactions.

And I'm probably forgetting other parts. It has now been confirmed as well that a lot of the reshoots were to make the season more light-hearted, more romcom, and they had Colin be less angry than he originally was in the script (notably after their wedding breakfast), so even if I resent that dreadful wig they put on my poor man, I'm so grateful the season remains, overall, more romcom than true drama like the other seasons could have been, because at the end of the day, this is the love story of two friends who already cared so deeply for each other. Honestly, I'd argue the true angst of the season came more from Eloise's and Penelope's rekindling friendship (and also Cressida's home life) (the true love triangle).

And speaking of truly knowing one another, let's go back to the one thing that brought Colin and Penelope together: the letters.

Note how loosely bound Penelope's letters to Colin were compared to the other pile, because he has kept them with him during his travels this past summer and kept rereading them when she did not respond back. And just like the letters (or lack thereof) were the first clues that something had shifted in their relationship and Colin realises how much he misses her, her letters also become the reason he reconciles Penelope with Whistledown because oh yeah, the writing is the same, clever, sharp, and beautiful, just like his Penelope. As he rereads them, he realises how he himself overlooked Penelope for so long, how he was compelled by her quill, how powerful it was that they made him feel more confident and how their absence made his sense of self crumble. The same way, upon his return, Whistledown calling him out, shattered that new self he had tried so hard to build. Penelope was the reason he found his confidence, then lost himself when she did not respond, and the reason he had to look inward when, through Whistledown, she saw through his facade.

But also isn't it sweet, that he unknowingly always praised her writing? Of her letters obviously, but of Whistledown as well. For all his negative feelings about the gossip column, one thing he always admitted is how clever Whistledown is, hence why he did not even believe Cressida could actually be her. Deep down, he's always admired her writing, even if he did not realise it was her yet. He was so attached to her letters after all.

And speaking of writing? Penelope becomes his muse.

That is him writing about Penelope's debut, proving he's always paid attention to her, between this, him being the one to bring up how they met, and recalling all the times Eloise kept bringing up Penelope in conversations. And he's writing all of this after the church dance scene! After Penelope's declared her love for him and how she's loved him for years! He was lamenting that love made him so simple he could not write a single word, but it is love that fuelled his mind once more and broke his writer's block. And then in the epilogue, he is so proud to say Penelope helped him edit his book, he who, a couple of episodes earlier, was so determined to do this on his own to prove himself, now his pride is that he worked together with his wife and they are building a family, and a writing empire, together.

The season ends as they kiss in front of the very window Penelope often sat in front of, overlooking Bridgerton house, hoping to catch a glimpse of Colin, who now will always be looking at her first. They also now have the heir to the Featherington barony, and they inherit the very house with the garden where Colin first broke Penelope's heart, then mended it by offering his help, then where they shared their first kiss. It is theirs now.

And it's just! They're so in love! I have no other words (also this post is so long, I am getting tired myself I probably sound like a broken record by now).

Conclusion

I think Bridgerton s3 has officially become a comfort watch. I'm never one to really rewatch shows, but this specific season has joined the small list I have. As already mentioned, when it comes to romance, friends to lovers has always been a favourite and Polin is such a good depiction of the trope. They're the gigglers on the side of balls, the ones who did not so much seek the centre stage but were thrown in the middle of it, which fits so well even on a meta perspective because Luke and Nicola admitted they sure did not expect their season to come this early either. They won't be the most popular couple, perhaps, but my God, they are mine. Despite the length of this post, I think I probably still forgot some points but oh well, gotta stop somewhere and I'm sure people more eloquent than I made posts as well.

This season was not perfect, I have a lot more gripes about it than this long post makes it sound like (although they're mostly non-polin related or something about the production), but I like to focus on the positives. And for all its flaws, s3 sure knew how to deliver a sweet romance between two outcasts who found their home with each other.

And with that, dearest gentle readers, this humble author - or rather, this person who fancies themself an author at their lost hours - finally lets their old keyboard rest, and hopes you have enjoyed this long read into a mind with too many thoughts about a gentle, kind man who has a lot of love to give and a fierce, passionate woman who wants to be loved.

(The sweetest little parallel to end this on, ever since s1, he's always seen her <3)

#THIS IS A LONG RIDE YALL GOOD LUCK #bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #bridgerton thoughts #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #polin #eloise bridgerton #peneloise #yes im tagging them too!#portia featherington #character analysis #long post #star.txt #the beginning of this post is lowkey just me arguing peneloise is as canon as polin /j #also posting this as pride month ends but just know polin are demisexual in my heart

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cryptid-catnip · 1 month ago

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An Unnecessarily In-Depth Deconstruction of the Lore and Problematic Elements of HDG

Why did I make this fucking post. (TWs for discussions of imperialism, cultural genocide, and a mention of systematized sexual assault)

So, to preface, I am going to be pretty harsh when it comes to criticizing the setting and lore of HDG, but I do not give one iota of a shit if someone finds its more problematic elements hot. Hell, I myself have found quite a few of the more fucked stories hot.

Secondly, if you want to rebute this post, please refrain from using Thermian Arguments as much as possible. If you don't know what a Thermian Argument is, it was coined in this video by Dan Oslen. It's only a five-minute watch, but, if you can't be bothered, it details an increasingly common argument in fandom spaces which consists of rebuking problematic elements of media by using in-universe reasoning, despite the fact that everything in a story is there because the writer put it there.

With that out of the way, let's begin.

So, in a previous post of mine, I wrote that The Combine from Half-Life 2 are essentially the same archetype of sci-fi civilization as the Affini (ie, ancient, vast conquerors whose interstellar conquest is so ancient that not even they know where they're from), with the only difference that the Affini are to be seen as the heroes of the story because... well because the writers say so.

Now you may say "Callie! You stupid bitch! Life in the Compact is way better than that on Terra!" and, to that I say "That's a Thermian Argument."

GlitchyRobo (and basically all other HDG writers) made the conscious decision to have Terra be Super-Mega-Ultra-Death-Capitalism(TM) to serve as justification for the Affini's colonization of Terra.

And this opens up a massive can of worms, considering that the Affini canonically want all non-Affini to be Florets and believe that all non-Affini would be better off as Florets.

The reason I'm calling this a can of worms is because the Affini are so vast, so long-lived, both individually and societally, that there has to have been at least one society that was doing really well for themselves, and were crushed by the Compact, right?

As I've alluded to prior in this post, the Affini are a fundamentally imperialist entity and does not care what your opinion is on their interstellar conquest, now go get your mandated mindbreak implant.

I think it's fair to say that the Affini are a shining example of the Designated Hero trope, as for a civilization whose bread and butter is imperialism, cultural genocide and systematized rape, they ARE The Good Guys, because The Narrative says so. This isn't even hyperbole, nearly all of the Canon Guidelines and the Writing in HDG pages are "The Affini are the good guys and are always in the right and are 59 steps ahead of the Terrans and functionally and narratively invincible with awesome tits."

But special mention goes to this line which basically confirms the thing I said previously:

What if you feel okay on your own? What if you don't want the Affini Compact running the show? What if you're already a communist society and are doing your level best to ensure everyone gets what they need?

The Affini response will be, "That's okay, petal, you've done enough. We'll take it from here."

And this line, which is basically just there to handwave some of the grimiest elements of HDG:

(Discussions about systemic floret sterilization and comparisons to real life reproductive violence and eugenics are definitely overthinking it.)

Like, motherfucker, I'm not the one who wrote this implication into the story. It's not my fault you decided to do White Man's Burden IIIIIIIIINNNNNN SSSSSPPPPPAAAAAACCCCEEEE with the femdom plant aliens.

And this is not only wretched morally, but it's just bad fucking writing. It is the closest that comes to an actual rule in writing (unless, like other "rules" in writing, it exists in your story for the purpose of deconstruction): DO NOT HAVE IMMORTAL, ALL-POWERFUL PROTAGANISTS.

The Affini are written like the player character of "That Guy" in every RPG horror story ever, with them being essentially invincible and immortal (functionally and narratively), are portrayed as the good guys while conquering planets and brainwashing people.

Or, to put it another way, most HDG stories feel like pro-Compact propaganda written by and for the Affini.

I was going to end this post with a thing where I say, "well i don't really think any of the writers/fans think that this would be good in practice/irl, and they all know it's just wish fulfillment kinkfics", but I genuinely do not think that's true for many people.

The constant defense of the righteousness of the Affini Compact in the text itself, as well as the constant stressing in the fucking wiki, leads me to believe that many people just straight-up believe that they are in the right, and not just the purpose of being kinkfics, and that deeply fucking disturbs me.

#callie writes #hdg #human domestication guide #affini #floretposting #plant girl #glitchyrobo

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canonicallyobserving911 · 2 months ago

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My response to a comment on AO3 about Buddie.

I haven't posted a lot since mid season 7 because I didn't want to and with all the toxicity that's been in the fandom, I chose to stay away. However, I kept writing fanfic and for the foreseeable future, I will continue to do so.

Recently, someone asked me a question in the comments of one of my fanfics regarding if I thought Buck and Eddie could get together in season 8 and it be handled in a way that would make sense and I provided a long response. Since I like it and it includes a lot of the things I've been wanting to say for a while, I decided to post it here but it's under the cut.

Please note, these are my opinions and they’re based on my interpretations of the show. No one has to agree and it's ok if they don't since everyone is entitled to their own opinions.

My comments about this topic are my own so read at your own risk.

Finally, don't start any BS in my reblogs because if anyone does, they'll be blocked like the thousands of others who have been since 7x4. I'm a proactive blocker and I block based on filtered tags for multiple reasons but mainly to keep toxicity away from my blog.

~~~

Thanks for the response. My answer to your question, is yes, I do believe it can happen in the episodes allotted in season 8 for multiple reasons. (These are my opinions.)

First, the stage has already been set for Buck and Eddie to enter a romantic relationship and it has been for years. It was supposed to happen after season 4 but the previous network wouldn't let it so it got delayed. The foundation of the love they have is already there and it has been since season 2.

Second, there's a thing called timing and the window of opportunity is closing. As mentioned in my initial response to you above, season 8 is it for a lot of viewers and I’m not just talking about Buddie shippers. Most of the GA watch the show for the emergencies, therefore there's not a whole lot of time they can dedicate to Buck’s and Eddie’s individual storylines before more people will start tuning out and turning off their TVs. None of the characters are growing professionally so, the show is getting stale with the rehashed storylines especially for all the mains.

Third, since the foundation is set, they need to get rid of Tommy’s character now and let Buck admit on screen that Eddie’s attention is the person's he was after not Tommy’s. It's time to stop using metaphors and underlying meanings and let him specifically acknowledge it without someone coercing him into it. Honestly, I wish they'd let him figure it out on his own without talking to someone else. He didn't end things with the first T.K. in season 5 because he was unhappy like he should have so it would be GREAT if he admits it now.

Fourth, Eddie needs to admit Buck’s the person whose had his heart this entire time. Also, it's time for Buck and Eddie to talk on-screen and discuss the fact that Eddie gave it to Buck back in season 3. He needs to stand up to his parents again like he did before he moved to L.A. and tell them they don't get a do over with his son. Furthermore, EVERYONE is tired of Eddie misremembering his failed marriage and it’s time for him to talk to his son about Shannon. He needs to stop remembering her as this perfect person when they both made mistakes. He should have told Chris about it in 7x1 instead of just giving him the letter she wrote. Chris is not a baby anymore and he should be told about his mother so he can grieve for her and understand she was young and she made mistakes too.

Fifth, Chris going back to L.A. is critical for many reasons but mainly because he’s missing and based on the audience's reaction to the way he wouldn’t talk to Eddie in 8x1, a lot of viewers don't like the fact that he's separated from his dad. Eddie’s a single father and Buck’s been coparenting Chris with him for years. The Buckley-Diazes are an integral part of the show and the longer they keep the three of them away from each other, ratings will suffer. The GA loves their family dynamic too and the absence of it is being felt the same way the absence of Buck and Eddie scenes were felt in season 6.

Sixth, it's evident the showrunner knows all of this otherwise, if the "X" leaker is right and all the former writers have been termed from the show, then he hired new people to breathe new life into it so their story can move along.

All of the points above lead to one thing and one thing only, CANON Buddie and if they aren't going to go there, then they need to admit it so people can decide if they want to keep watching 9-1-1 on their own. The days of people hanging on and watching shows for top billed actors are over. Law & Order SVU is a testament to that. It's been on for 26 years and they’ve been dragging out Benson and Stabler this whole time. IMO, they've missed the window of opportunity for them but they haven’t for Buck and Eddie.

Thanks for commenting and have a great day.

#Canonically Observing 9-1-1 Speaks #buddie #eddie diaz #evan buckley #christopher diaz #the buckley diaz family #buckley diaz family #911 on abc #911 abc #anti bucktommy #911 spoilers #anti shannon diaz #911 meta #911 season 8 speculation

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tachimichishrine · 11 months ago

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"sweet and sour"

◝≞��≞◜ crime executive!jouno saigiku x gn!reader

warnings: except for a bit of guns + cursing and ooc jouno,, none! this is all fluff :) i didn't write this in lowercase??? crazy amirite

"Jouno Sai... Saigay? I was certain there was gay in there somewhere... Anyways! Hi!! It's a pleasure to meet you!!"

The mispronounced man in question glared at the individual who was giggling happily, strolling around in the office like they owned the place, shooting a, "Hey, Fernando, did you get a new haircut?", "Lookin' good in that suit, Ichika!", and, "Oh my god! Where did you get those shoes, I swear I saw the exact same ones at that store down the street, the uh... what's it called? Y'know what I'm talking about, don't'cha?" to his fellow executives like they've been friends for years on end.

The room had always been tense, from what he recalled. When people entered, they expected to get shot by the boss, or be given a task so difficult to complete that they would ultimately get shot. In short, a meeting with the renowned organization that Jouno Saigiku worked for was a death sentence for his subordinates, even more so for rival organizations.

Yet, this person had been bouncing around the walls like a child in a candy store, waving around the knife at their fingertips like a ten thousand yen bill and showing off the gun strapped to their thigh and waist with the same bubbly confidence of a new outfit they'd just bought the previous day.

'They're going to get themselves killed in no time,' he laughed to himself, waiting for the one in charge to enter the room.

For now, he was responsible for managing the building and their potential customer (from another criminal organization. It made him wonder how on earth someone like them could possibly be working in the same sadistic field as he did) until their meeting began. He'd never met this person in particular before, and wished he would've never had to. However, business was business, and he would need to accommodate them well enough to prevent a war between the two groups to break out.

"[l/n], was it?" he smirked, a strained playful smile that was barely hanging above the devilish one he had underneath. "It's Jouno Saigiku, and I'd recommend that you refrain from making yourself too comfortable in here. You are, as you know, on our turf, which means that-"

"Bla, bla, bla! you're so formal!" they scoffed with a wave of their hands, bouncing off of the velvet couch and strolling up to the executive, glaring at him with a particular expression that he couldn't see. "I'm actually rather touched that you knew my name! [l/n] [y/n], I'm your connect with [criminal organization name ~ [c /o/n]] so don't be a meanie!"

..."Don't be a meanie? "

As if by miracle, the boss entered right when they were about to get close enough to his straightened-out figure, almost army-like in posture, to tap his nose with their fingertip as one does with children. In his field of work, only people of utmost trust managed to meet directly with the person on the top, so he considered that perhaps they were prevalent in some other field that didn't have to do with relationships and appearance. Now, all he had to do was wait for his boss to get infuriated at their attitude and demand that he dispose of them and he'd be able to drag them out back and peel off their skin...

"[l/n], dear! It's been a while, has it not?"

This keeps getting better and better.

"Kantoku!" they beamed out, running over to the old man and avidly shaking his hand. "Oh, I've missed you so! Things have changed around here, didn't they? You never told me you promoted a new executive!"

With a playful eyeroll, Kantoku - the man in charge of his crime syndicate - gestured to the couch and began to converse, almost casually. What baffled him, perhaps the most of all, was that every regular beat of their heart was steady, this wasn't a feigned façade nor overcompensation for fear. This person was truly, genuinely an idiot.

"Pst, Jouno," the woman executive standing beside him nudged his shoulder, "the boss is here so we're free to go. Plus, that asshole who stole from us isn't talking, so we might need your help."

With that, he left behind both the room and the lingering feeling of confusion regarding [l/n] [y/n].

Jouno Saigiku did not have a very complex job.

In fact, his daily tasks mostly consisted of torture and punishment, with the occasionally laying off (which undoubtedly meant death. There was quite a bit of death around him, a certain fading scent that permeated throughout any room he'd visit. This was not a literal physical scent, for that would obstruct his sight and handicap his senses, but nonetheless he found himself rather pleased when he felt warm blood splatter across his soft cheeks.)

Today was nothing different; supposedly, someone from [c /o/n] had blundered and fled right into their territory. Given the amical relationships between the two groups, it was their job to retrieve and return the fugitive, annihilate them if they do not cooperate and it becomes necessary.

At the moment, he found himself seated in a vehicle, driving to the last location that this person was last seen, being described as "[s/c] skinned and [e/c] eyed", all attributes which couldn't possibly make any difference to him, due to his lack of vision. When he asked for a name of this person, he was shocked to learn that it was the same energetical and bubbly individual who vaguely crossed his radar a few weeks back.

"Oi, oi, Jouno slow down, we don't wanna pass 'em 'cause you're drivin' too fast, 'ight?" his coworker for this mission reprimanded. "Just 'cause you can do that fancy hearin' thing ain't mean my eyes ain't good, 'ight?"

Jouno thus pressed his foot with more force against the gas pedal, speeding up the car only because he didn't quite like the tone of this person.

"Hm?" he asked innocently. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear you very well, what did you say?"

"I said slow down you-"

They cut themselves off, not allowing for a response since their silence indicated that they had learnt something new.

"Woah, yeah, they're right over there!" they exclaimed, tapping a point on the window so that Jouno could hear the faint sound and distinguish which direction their target was. "Pull over, I'll tie 'em up and toss 'em in the back."

The white-haired man paused momentarily, thin brows imitating each other as they angled upwards in confusion.

"What do you mean? That's not them."

"For a blind bitch, ya really think yer all that, don't'cha? I can literally see them right now, they're standing outside the fuckin' car so pull over and lemme mug 'em."

His lips had pressed into a line, contemplating the situation. The reason he wasn't allowed to go on his own was because they were extremely picky about identifying the right culprit, yet Jouno cared little for his escort of sorts. He'd encountered [l/n] before, and what marked his memory the most, asides from their childlike behavior, was how their heart hadn't betrayed a thing on the outside attitude, despite being blatantly threatened. This person, the one that his temporary partner had suggested was their target, was in fact sweating buckets and had such an erratic heartbeat he might've believed them to be having tachycardia. On top of this, their breathing was not the same, from what he gauged, they couldn't possibly be the right height, build and walking pattern. People on the run obviously become more more jittery when faced with escaping an impossible situation, but this conflicted his knowledge in too many ways to be true.

"I believe," he suggested calmly with a grin appearing, still refusing to unlock the doors or pull over, therefore driving past the individual, "that [l/n] might not be as gullible as we first presumed, and that this person is a decoy set up to distract us."

And so, Jouno found himself pleasantly challenged by the least likely person.

As the sun bled out into the sky during its descent from the zenith to the crepuscule, Jouno had finally managed to shed his gravely irritating partner and complete his task alone.

That idiot - really, that's all he could call them - decided to ignore his words and kidnap the scapegoat. Of course, this person sobbed and repeatedly told them that they're not the right person, that there's been a mistake, but no one believed their words. Inevitably, they were tortured for a few hours and deemed unnecessary. Jouno shot them, then headed back to search for the real culprit.

"Now, where could they be?" he hummed, almost amusedly, to himself. "Most people tend to lay low when running from important and dangerous organizations, but something tells me..."

He was rather lucky, in a sense, that someone had spotted the fugitive near a bar. However, this was over 5 hours ago. People on the run tend to be smart enough to scatter from location to location, but he supposed he shouldn't be overestimating other people's intelligence.

The door creaked with a lowly groan, as did the floor when he applied weight onto it via his heavy tread. Upon first impressions, the bar was nearly empty.

Then, he heard a voice call out.

"SAIGAY!! Ahh, it's been a while, hasn't it?! Come, come! Can I order you anything? You look like a bourbon man, are you into bourbon? Unless... fine wine? Oh dear, don't keep me guessing, come, sit!"

Immediately, as soon as they called out his name and announced themselves with such ardor, he knew he had the right person.

"No thank you," he smiled. "I can't drink, I'm currently at work."

"Are you? Aw, you don't mean you're here to kill me?" they replied, voice dipping down to a pouty grumble as they neared the end of the sentence. "I'm tired of people trying to kill me, it's no fun."

Idling at the entrance, Jouno didn't quite motion to sit next to them, nor did he seek to keep close in case of sudden evacuation. From what he had heard, this person was without ability, so they didn't pose much danger. Nevertheless, he was a cautious man, and had known that false information could potentially be fatal in certain circumstances, especially when the target is acting so laid back.

"You stole half a million yen from one of the most dangerous organizations around, I don't particularly think you'd've expected it to be fun."

Met with muttering, he would've asked them to speak up had he not heard the nearly incomprehensible, "but I didn't steal anything" from their lips.

"You didn't?" he said aloud. "Then where do you suppose the money had gone?"

A pause insinuated, and he pondered repeating his question in a more forceful way when they answered. "Woah, you've got great hearing! I wish I were like that, half the time people talk to me and all I hear is 'bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bl-'"

Jouno pulled out his firearm and pointed it directly at them.

"Enough games. Cooperate and I'll only make it hurt a lot."

"Gee, mister, did someone piss in your cheerios? I'll come, I'll come, just give me a second! I want to finish my drink."

On the table, however, there wasn't a single glass.

Upon having Jouno point this detail out (for while he could not see, he could still visualize objects in space with his other senses), they paused briefly. "So either you're blind but scarily good at it, or you can see through that crazy squinting of yours."

"I don't appreciate you stalling," he hummed, cocking the gun. "Do you think I won't shoot?"

"No, no, it's clear you would!" giggled the individual. "But, oh, do tell me more about yourself. Being threatened is so much more pleasant when-"

He shot them once.

He shot them twice.

Both bullets landed in non-lethal locations, such as their right shoulder and calf, which was enough to get his message across without rushing his punishment for their actions.

"That hurt!" they frowned, clutching at the opening from which blood was rushing out. "Owwie! You really don't like talking with people, do you, Saigay?"

"Saigiku," he corrected with a hiss. "Do you ever stop talking? I could very well kill you right now."

"Well, I sure hope you don't!"

This just made him want to shoot them even more.

He listened eagerly as they let out a few hisses and groans, then a soft squelch and the clattering of a metal against the marble countertop. He guessed that they were taking out the bullet from their calf, since the one in their shoulder had effectively shattered into hundreds of shards, and would require special medical attention immediately if they wished to live for a few more years. Then again, he knew that they probably wouldn't live past tomorrow, so it wasn't his concern.

Letting out a soft gasp while they tore off part of their attire in order to wrap their injured limb, they still seemed to be laughing. "Thanks."

"For the gunshot wound?" the white-haired male tried to clarify. He didn't take them to be such an open masochist.

Yet, his question only spurred a flurry of coughing and chuckles. "Of course not! I meant, thank you for not attacking me further. Really thought you'd kill me here and now, but you're letting me treat my wounds without interference. Is it because you have orders not to kill me?" Adding with a terribly comedic bite of their lip, they said, "Or have you been seduced by my charm?"

Once he made it perfectly clear that he'd shoot again, they backed off on the teasing remarks and requested that he help them up. "To walk," they'd clarified. "I can't walk, y'know. How do you plan on getting me back to your base?"

"I'll drag you by your hair if I need to," he replied.

(He had to hijack a car because there was no way he'd drag a body across the city, especially not a body as talkative as this one.)

"So you're telling me," they pondered while blindfolded and cuffed in the back of the vehicle, "that you're blind, yet you have highlights? They're pretty, I'll give you that, but why did you colour it? Midlife crisis? Doesn't sound right to me, plus you can't even see the colour so why on earth would you do it? Are you responding to me? I can't hear anything with this blindfold over my ears. Aren't blindfolds supposed to obstruct your vision, not your hearing? Man, but maybe I can hear perfectly fine and it's all your fault because you're not answering me. C'mon, Saigay, humor me!"

Of course, he had no intentions of humoring them.

"You're lucky I didn't gag you," he said. "Or cut off your tongue. In fact, knocking you unconscious would've been a splendid idea."

"But you didn't!" the ex-criminal beamed. "Besides, I'm going to get beat up enough once you deliver me back to [c /o/n]. If you ask them to let you watch and/or participate, they won't say no, I think. Pops isn't too strict when it comes to those things."

"Pops?"

"Y'know, the head of [c /o/n]. He's my dad's close friend and the brother in law of your boss."

That explained a lot of things, starting with this seemingly innocent person's involvement with such dark themes. Yet, there was still something Jouno needed to know.

"And you betrayed your own family friend?" asked the blind man, quickly approaching the location of the building in which he was given rendezvous for the drop-off of the traitor.

"Ahh, connections don't mean shit," they scoffed, waving around their tied hands as if to emphasize their point. "But I didn't betray them. I'd have to be an idiot.... No, not an idiot, whatever is worse than an idiot in order to steal money from a man who would've given me the cash if I asked him for it. So, no. I didn't steal anything. That's why I didn't run; I'm not guilty of anything, running would make it look like I am."

Jouno was interiorly perplexed. So they've got a decent brain behind all of that buttery personality, after all. But, there was just something about them that didn't fit with the narrative, something he couldn't wrap his head around.

"Why wait for me to tie you up?" he finally suggested aloud, hearing his own words formed allowing him to make more sense of his confusion. "Why not just waltz into the building? This makes you look both stupid and guilty."

A laugh burst from the backseat, the kind of laugh that makes you want to join in despite not fully understanding the reason behind it. It was however cut short, due to a sharp inhale of pain then a few curses murmured at their injuries.

"Maybe I am an idiot. Maybe I wanted to get caught. Who knows? Maybe this was all part of my master plan to lure you near Negishi Station so that I could use my all-powerful ability."

He spent a few seconds registering that last bit. Lure him out to Negishi so they could...

"BOOM!"

With a jolt, he nearly crashed the car; luckily, in time Jouno had realized that this was just a sound effect from the hostage, and not a real crash caused by an ability. They were, in fact, right next to Negishi, which made the whole thing a huge coincidence, but other than that, nothing occurred. They were still in the car, unharmed and untouched by any ability that he could detect.

Meanwhile, [l/n] was laughing their ass off.

"BWAHAHAH, you actually fell for it!!" they managed between heaving breaths and uncontrollable laughter. "I knew that since you were blind you would be sensitive to loud noises but that worked so much better than I thought it would, you should've seen your face! You were all like," then they proceeded to make a plethora of faces he couldn't see, but that he knew were all mocking him.

[l/n] continued, "By the way, just because I haven't used it doesn't mean I don't have an ability. So watch out for your ass, pretty boy, or else I might just... BAM!"

He did not flinch this time, but he found himself rather frustrated with his previous reaction. People, normal people, never teased him this way. He'd have thought [l/n] would be a bit less friendly around him after sustaining the injuries, but so far, that appeared only to drive them towards a playful alternative to revenge on par with a snowball fight between two children.

"I'll tell you what," concluded the hysterical individual attempting to calm themselves down, "let's do this again, same time tomorrow? Muah, it was lovely meeting you Saigay!!"

Before he could protest or question this, they waved around their somehow uncuffed hands, reached for the handle of the car door, pushed it open and leaped out.

He found himself standing at the entrance of the bar the very next day.

It was beyond frustrating to pick up the pieces of yesterday's aftermath; based on his recollection and the most probable situation, [l/n] likely used the loud noises not only to ruffle and distract him, but to cover up for the sound of the click of their handcuffs being taken off, courtesy of a pin they had picked the lock with. On top of this, their haphazardous mention of Negishi station was just a way of situating themselves in space (since they had been blindfolded) so they could think of the safest escape route.

He quite frankly did not expect to be outsmarted by someone who can't even remember his name right. Yet, the fact remained that he was strolling up to the entrance of the same place as he'd previously apprehended them at, same hour of the day. He rather hated the sunset; nothing felt right for him. Not the consistent buzzing of the cicadas during the day nor the melodic trilling of the crickets; dusk never held a sustainable aura, and for this reason he'd grown to loathe it, despite being told repeatedly that the setting sun was beautiful.

Rushing curtly inside the building, the bells connected to the door jingled, and, almost on cue, a loud cheer roused him from his lucid trance.

"Saigay!! Over here, over here! Can't say I expected you to show up, but I'm pleasantly surprised!" gleamed [l/n] upon his arrival.

"It's Saigiku," he repeated for an umpteenth time, "and I'm here to turn you in."

They shook their head. "I'd have hoped you'd realized that I don't take to being kidnapped. But I do appreciate the perseverance, so I'll make a deal; have a drink with me, then I'll cooperate for an entire 5 minutes without trying to escape."

"...You truly are an odd person," said he, despite taking a seat by their side and waiting. He didn't know what trick they had up their sleeve (rather, their cast. Turns out, they'd gone to a private medical professional in order to have it looked at. He smiled when he noticed this; a sure sign that victory was much more likely tonight.)

"I'll take that as a compliment!" [l/n] laughed heartily, then called for the waiter. "One [favorite drink] for me, and he'll have a cup of whiskey. The good type, y'know what I mean, darling?"

The waiter raised a brow at the nickname and odd hint, but took the order anyways and began preparation. Meanwhile, Jouno sat, trying to protest that he did not want anything to drink, but was quickly cut off by his temporary enemy's much louder affirmations that he did indeed want some.

"You don't look like the type to be trying out sobriety," they hummed, "but I know if I let you chose for yourself, you wouldn't get anything. You'd be all," (and here their voice deepened and became gruff in an attempt to make it clear that they were looking to mock him,) "'I'm here to kill you! I'm a mass murderer so fear me!!' Am I right or am I right?"

Before he could respond, the fingers on their uninjured hand began to flick his dangling earring, on the right side of his face.

"You have an earring," they pointed out, almost stupidly. "Why don't you have one on the other side?"

He wasn't going to respond to any of this. In fact, he was toying with the knife in his pocket, gauging the right moment to strike with such an unpredictable opponent.

"Because I don't," he said dully. The waiter came, their glasses clinking with the ice inside as it toyed around in the liquid, gently being placed onto the counter.

"Fair enough," they smiled. "Okay sooooooo, wha'd'ya wanna talk 'bout? Gimme anything, I hate silence."

That made two of them.

"What is your ability?" he said rather bluntly, with a soft hum. He was in an optimal position to strike, only a few centimeters away, but he thought better than to attack without knowing such an important piece of information. Besides, with the way the conversation was going, they seemed to be eager to tell him the truth, for whatever reason, so he wouldn't lose anything to try.

After taking a long sip from their drink, they paused. "Nothing, I don't have one. You?"

The cautious man pressed further. "I find it hard to believe you haven't an ability in such a dangerous environment."

With a chuckle, they took another gulp from the glass. Then, turning to him with a relaxed heartbeat, they said very calmly and slowly, "I don't believe in needless deceit. Unlike you, Mr. Hide-my-knife-in-my-pocket-that-I'm-going-to-stab-you-with, I don't play dirty. So, when I say that I don't have an ability, don't be so surprised, yeah? The majority of people don't. I supposed when you're gifted, you don't quite try to sympathize with those unlike you."

So, they're aware of the weapon, yet made no move to dodge? Perhaps he's overthinking this, after all there are many people who seem invincible just because one doesn't act based on rational decisions, but based on their feelings. He should know, he spends most of his free time toying with said emotions and tearing them apart.

In one swift movement, he let his knife slide back down his pocket and removed both hands from the shadows.

"You sound genuine," he said, almost to himself.

"Well, I sure hope so," they laughed, despite nothing particularly funny being said. "I am being genuine, after all. You'll be able to bring me in and tie me up properly in a little while, so I'm going to enjoy the now while I still can, that's my philosophy!"

"Your philosophy is to drink something before you get kidnapped instead of trying to escape?" he repeated, incredulous. Perhaps their drink was laced with something, some kind of drug that drags your mood to a high. Even if he smelled no trace of anything other than [favorite drink], he concluded that this was the only reasonable explanation to this indecipherable human being.

Doubling over with a violent wheeze, they were (yet again) laughing at his words. They babbled a few words between gasps for breath, such as, "Didn't know you had a sense of humour!" and "Please, I can't breathe!" like he'd been a world renowned comedian. He almost felt the urge to clarify that he was attempting to degrade them, to criticize them and point out their stupidity, but one does not simply explain themselves when insulting another. Typically, their words transmitted the message well enough, but this was far from a typical recipient.

Finally recovering, they put on a mock angry face and waved around their finger. "You fiend, take it easy, I'm injured! At this rate, you'll make me pop my lungs out, ahah! Is that your master plan? To incapacitate me verbally? Bravo, I didn't expect that!"

"I wasn't..." he said, trailing off as he was thoroughly perplexed. What does one say in his situation? At this rate, his biggest concern was their oddities, not their capture.

On second thought, he nearly forgot that he was here to capture them.

"That's the beauty of it," they exclaimed, waving around their drink and spilling a considerable amount on his shirt accidentally with the grand gesture. "Unintentional torture! Wow, you must be even better than what I've heard about you, Saigay."

Not even bothering to correct them, he said, "And what exactly have you heard of me?"

"One, that you're very attractive. Two, you're ruthless when it comes to sadism. Three, you have exceptional intellect and four, you can hear heartbeats. Is that last one true? Wouldn't that make you a living polygraph?"

He was, but also wasn't, listening. The first thing they'd mentioned was his attractiveness, likely physical, but what an odd thing to point out, that is! Fighting down the odd feeling blooming in his chest with success, he finally mustered a response; an affirmation.

"That must be your ability," they pondered. "Isn't it? You'd be too strong if you had something else on top of this."

With a grin, Jouno explained, "It is not."

A melodramatic gasp could be heard echoing throughout the mostly empty room. "It isn't?? Gah, I must've been astronomically lucky to have escaped you last time!"

He'd've agreed had he not been promptly cut off by a rush of guesses regarding his ability. Most were way off, a select few absurd, and the entirety of them wrong. He felt his face contort into that of a confused expression when they suggested that he might be able to listen to people through walls, drawing an example by explaining that he might, and here the words were engraved into his mind, "listen in on people while they went to the bathroom, thus deducing whether their digestion was going well." Somehow, this had become a conversation in which they recounted the vivid tale of their daunting task of finding a bathroom once when they'd been in a 'foreign environment' - also known as the downtown region of the neighboring city during a negotiation.

All done and said, they'd contented themselves with a fairly one sided discussion, and he sipped down the Japanese whiskey he'd been handed. Upon noticing this, [l/n] stuck out both of their wrists as best as they could, pressed near one another as if pleading.

"Well, a deal's a deal! Take me away, Saigay! Ah! That rhymes! Maybe I should become a poet!" they giggled.

Jouno considered this for a long time, the topic that was on his mind ever since his arrival. The previous day, he'd told his boss that [l/n] couldn't be found, and that he must've made a mistake when saying that the doppelganger was a fake. This, of course, was untrue, but it also gave him leeway in case he found himself up against a formidable opponent. All of this meant that, if he did not turn [l/n] in to [c /o/n], he himself would not lose anything.

It wasn't sympathy, he told himself, that led him to get up and walk away as they left their arms extended. No, it was just an avoidance of unnecessary effort. If he walked away now, he would save himself the hassle of detaining them, all the while giving this person a second chance. Who knows, perhaps they'd be useful to him in the future.

Jouno had not expected to be called by the lower ranking members of his organization early in the morning. What he had expected was to go to his office; not being told that there was a "package" waiting for him at the base.

He hadn't a clue what this package was. His first instinct was that it was a weapon of sorts, a bomb, anything that did damage. Although, it could very well also be a traitor who had been tied up and sent to him as a peace offering. The more he thought about it, the happier he was as he approached the location in which he was expected.

"J-Jouno-sama!" exclaimed one of the nervous underlings - a kid, really - holding a...

...A dog?

It barked at him, growling and struggling in the grasp of the two kids tasked with holding it down.

"What is this, a prank?" Jouno hissed, ready to make them pay before he even got the entire story.

One of them audibly gulped as their blood drained from their face, while the other stuttered an explanation. "N-No! We f-found this dog attached w-with a leash right in front of the building, and there was this attached to its collar," they said as they handed the executive a wrinkled piece of paper which, upon further inspection, turned out to hold an uncanny resemblance to a napkin from a nearby fast food place.

On it, there were an assortment of dots which were ink being pressed hard onto the fabric. Braille, he concluded. This person seemed not only to have specifically destined this to him, but desired to keep the contents for him only, rather than have someone read it for him.

On it, he managed to decipher the following:

'Dear Saigay, Thanks for not trying to kill me!! I'm certain you're just a big softie heheh. The doc told me I shouldn't be moving around too much after those wounds you gifted me, so now I'm kinda on house arrest lolol. Either way, I'd've loved to thank you personally but can't so I got you a present, its name is undecided yet BUTTTTTT they're a bitch just like you so I called them saigay jr. for the time being ♡ plus I figured you never had a guide dog, right?? So here you go! XD

p.s. you never told me what kind of drink you liked. was I right about the whiskey? pls tell me!! i'll recover properly then find you, so you better have an answer by then >:( p.p.s. heheh peepee s p.p.p.s. you still haven't told me why your hair is dyed p.p.p.p.s. SAIGAY JR HAS YOUR MISSING EARRING BTW!!'

What on earth-

He certainly was no longer angry at this weird dog, but at the owner.

What made it worse was that the two kids had finally gotten over their fear of him and started calming down the dog (which he was not going to called Saigay Jr., much less Saigiku Jr.), noticing the earring; it was only a clip on that was obviously made up of cardboard clippings and poorly colored insides, as well as engravings that he could physically feel and recognize, but the resemblance to his own was noticeable. He wondered if this was an insult from [l/n] disguised as a present, but decided that there were too many exclamation marks for this to be anything resembling a threat. Not to mention the "XD".

Now, he had to figure out the dog. It's too much noise and too much effort, besides he doesn't like dogs all that much. He supposed he'll just have to snatch off that wretched earring and dispose of it before anyone makes the link and this haunts him, then kick it out. Surely it'll wander back off to its home or whatever. None of what followed would be his concern.

"Jouno s-sama, what should we do with the dog?" uneasily asked the kid. He shook his head, snatched the makeshift earring in one fell swoop and crumbled it into a ball in his hand.

"Take it outside, it isn't mine and I don't care about it. This was just a prank from someone I know."

With this, Saigay Jr. was released back onto the street, the collar still coated with braille dots that spell out its name.

Once work was done, he decided to go for a walk, for some fresh air. However, Jouno was not expecting to hear panting coming from his side.

Saigay Jr. barked at him, happily wagging their tail and bouncing on their paws.

"What is wrong with you," he swore under his breath, then made his tone much vocal. "Go away! I don't want you here!"

None of this, obviously, got across to the dog, who was still following him closely.

"I said go away!" he yelled, a bit louder but also significantly harsher. "Stupid bitch."

It somehow reacted differently, barking much more avidly and skipping over to him with apparent excitement.

At this rate, he'd never get rid of the dog. He contemplated calling the pound and having someone take them in, but knew that this was likely an unnecessary step to take. Regardless, he'd have to get rid of it soon. All this barking is going to make him dizzy soon.

The sounds subsided as it transitioned from growling to a soft whine, choosing to lay down. It was then that he noticed a certain odor that he hadn't paid attention to before.

...Blood?

He almost could've sworn the dog was injured.

Jouno decided that it was not his concern and left it there, on the street, alone.

The dog was certainly a stubborn little thing, as it was there when he came to work the next day.

He took out his gun, shot it in the air (loud noises hurt him a lot, but he knew the same applied to the animal) and hummed contently as it scurried off out of fear, out of his life.

Saigay Jr. came back the very next day.

"Oh, will you fuck off already?" he groaned, taking out his gun yet again to fire a warning shot. Of course, he wasn't going to actually kill the beast, but he was reaching a point where he was very well considering it.

He stopped himself as he heard it whine, then lower itself to the ground, almost bowing to him in a human fashion.

"I'm not keeping you. [l/n] should've just left you in the dump where they found you," he said, realizing that he was talking to a literal dog.

He reached his hand out with a sigh, and began to pet it. This clearly made the dog calm down significantly, as it was finally getting recognition from the one it believed to be its owner, and so it didn't noticed as he curled his fingers around the leash, detached the ends of the collar then used it to attach the canine to a post.

As soon as it realized its situation, it began to growl, barking aggressively at him, then pouting and almost seeming like it was about to cry. Jouno didn't care, however, as he took out his burner phone and dialed animal patrol.

Somehow, by some un-abiding law of the universe, Saigay Jr. was there, sitting happily, waiting for him outside of the building in which he operated.

Its leg and arm seemed to be getting better, he could tell, which made it likely that it wouldn't stop coming back to annoy him.

"It's like a miniature [l/n]," he laughed to himself.

Over time, he'd almost began to enjoy his daily encounters with the animal. He found it almost enjoyable to pet and ruffle its soft fur, eliciting the pleasant reaction of a calm dog.

Today, he decided, he would stop pushing it away. It's Houdini, this mynx, a Houdini who refused to disappear and could get out of any trap he laid for it.

"First off," he crouched down, stroking its ear, "ground rules. You are not my dog. I'm doing this to see if it'll get rid of you once you get bored with me. Got it?"

Ears drooping, Saigay Jr. seemed to be saying, "aww, but I wanted to be your dog!", to which Jouno replied with a look that said, "Don't make me get up and leave."

"Second rule, keep your piss and shit away from me, I'm not touching or smelling any of that. Third, you do as I tell you to. Understood?"

He wasn't expecting the dog to nod, but would've liked seeing it react other than burrowing its head further into the palm of his hand. Reluctantly, Jouno didn't resist, and sat there entertaining its need for physical touch for a few moments before springing to his feet.

"I'm going home. You are not allowed in my house," he warned, turning around.

Saigay Jr. followed him home anyways.

Somehow, as the day turned into night, he found himself helpless when it comes to resistance against this dog. It was thankfully very unproblematic, not making much of a mess when they arrived to the apartment which he lived in (it wasn't his, evidently. The criminal organization he worked for simply scared off all the tenants and let their members live there, unofficially.) He gestured to a corner for it to stay while he settled down, and stuck there for as long as he told it to.

As he took care of his own affairs, the time to rest finally came, and the dog didn't appear to have any plans to depart from its new best friend.

"Leave," he repeated forcefully, pointing to the door left ajar for it to crawl outside. "I said leave."

The message seemed to be getting across, as Saigay Jr. finally began to trek towards the entrance.

Then, it used its snout to shut the door, returning promptly and sitting down in front of him, waiting for some kind of reward.

"I'd really wish you'd die right now," he threw a hand on his face, tilting it upwards to display his frustration. "Fine. Let's play this the hard way."

He walked outside his apartment, knowing that the dog would follow, and shut the door behind them both. With a smirk, he activated his ability, disintegrating into the smallest specks and re-entering the room while sifting through the openings on the side of the door.

This way, he was back inside while the animal was whining from the outside, scratching occasionally to ask him to let them back in.

"Absolutely not," he laughed proudly, tossing himself into bed, trying to will himself to fall asleep before he'd begin to feel guilt about leaving the diligent and loyal gift from [l/n] outside.

A click, a creak and a shuffle later, and he heard a very clear panting noise.

Saigay Jr. had somehow managed to get inside.

"Fuck, you know what? I don't care anymore," groaned the tired man. "I give up. You win."

As he let himself doze off, the dog had crawled up onto the bed and softly laid its head on his chest, breathing steadily.

Jouno wouldn't admit that the sound and feeling was a nice change to his norm.

At this point, Jouno had practically adopted Saigay Jr.

He didn't hear anything from [l/n], which he found odd since it had been over 6 months since he'd last seen them. He knew that he shouldn't be thinking about them; he'd only known the peculiar individual for a grand total of about 3 encounters, one of which he hadn't even interacted with them and the other two being attempted kidnapping and murder. The white-haired man knew that the only reason their image stuck in his head was due to this dog, this constant reminder of them, on top of their boisterous personality that he could've swore made him look at people like him (who had little to no personality, all business and no fun, as they might've said) differently.

The dog was a weird new addition to his life as well. He'd never seen it eat nor require to be walked. In fact, their relationship had gotten to the point where he was becoming more and more eager to be in its company; he woke up with Saigay Jr. (whose name he couldn't bring himself to change nor get out of his head), the both of them walked to his work, and then when he was done with his daily torturing, the loyal animal was waiting for him at the door of his apartment. He occasionally let it sleep in his bed, but mostly it found a small corner on the couch where both of them seemed content. It was a particularly odd situation; Jouno did not like pets. In fact, he didn't like people, so why would he expose himself to this small, fluffy thing for daily companionship? He didn't know, but found that there was no need to question a mutually beneficial situation.

Today, however, something odd had happened.

Saigay Jr. was not waiting in front of his door when he got back, covered in the heavy smell of blood for today's session was especially... artistic.

"Junior?" he found himself calling out, a name he never had the need to say out loud due to their chemistry. Yet, there seemed to be no movement nearby.

Weird, he thought, but there's no need to make a big deal out of this. The animal probably had to attend to its animal business, or whatever. Maybe the meeting that they always attend while he's at work was running late, he humored himself.

A few hours later, and nothing happened, no one showed up scratching at his front door or barking at it. He'd told himself that he was going to keep going on with his day as if nothing happened, but sleep was difficult to find because of the nagging feeling that something wasn't right.

It was then that he heard a knock at his door.

Not a scratch, but a knock.

He grabbed the firearm from the drawer next to his bed, and greeted the guest with a smile as he unlocked the door cautiously.

"Saigay!!"

He couldn't believe it; [l/n] was standing at his door.

"Sorry, sorry, I know this is sudden but at least be glad you were wearing pants when I knocked on the door," they spoke casually, letting themselves into his apartment and spreading themselves on the couch like they'd been living there for a while, in a particularly odd way that eerily resembled that of his dog, "but I was running late since my dad was telling me that I should come clean about this whole thing and bla bla, y'know that old man wisdom? You seem like you know what old geezers think. Anyways, Dad was givin' me the lecture and whatnot, so I told him that since I was mostly recovered, I might as well come and say hi without barking."

"Without... barking?"

He squinted his eyes even further as he tried to make sense of this.

"So you didn't gift me a dog, you..."

"Were the dog? Yup! The name's actually Soseki [y/n], and I've been a spy at [c /o/n] for about a year or two, can't remember too well since my time was cut short by a certain injury some pretty asshole gave me. Annoying, ain't it? I hate getting shot at. Being a dog is so much easier."

"You lied," he said, trying not to panic from the fact that he had been sharing his life for quite some time with another person in disguise, "when you said you didn't have an ability."

"Of course! Isn't that what everyone does? People lie tons, like when you told 'Saigay Jr.' that you didn't have a ticklish spot, only for me to find out that you have sensitive ears and chest. Very ticklish, especially when you think no one is watching."

He felt the blood rushing to his face while he swallowed dryly. What else had he done accidentally in all that time? He couldn't possibly have kept track of everything.

"Aw, he blushes," they laughed, tapping his nose before he could recover. "Relax, I'm not out to get you. I thought you were interesting and cute when you kidnapped me, so I thought I'd put you to the test for a bit while I recovered from my injuries. Okay, not so much a test, per se, but I wanted to hang out with you. I had a feeling you were lonely, and I was right!"

Heartbroken wasn't the right word to describe how he felt; what was running through his mind was a hellish mixture of embarrassment and fear of vulnerability. It's the sensation one feels when one is deceived and looks back on it, wondering how they could've been so foolish. He should've known, he kept telling himself.

"I get that you probably feel humiliated. Dad says that most people do, so I've just gotta smile and remind them that I've got a terrible memory," they laughed, reading his mind. "Maybe once you get over it you'll come to realize that I wasn't lying about wanting your friendship."

With a timid smile, nothing like what their usual bubbly personality would typically make, they bowed gently to him, seemed to consider leaning in to hug him, then decided that this all would be too much at once.

[y/n] left, hesitantly adding, "Same place... tomorrow?"

Why had Jouno showed up at the bar where they had originally been introduced, all those months ago, when he'd been so foolishly deceived?

Perhaps it was as he kept repeating in his head, that he was there to pick up the pieces of his torn dignity. Or maybe it was to finally kill them and receive the reward on their head.

Or was it to accept their offer?

He reassured himself that he couldn't possibly, that people were terrible and he couldn't let himself get soft with this one or else he'd become mushy and weak. He wasn't sure what terrified him so much about that idea, but he didn't even consider it as an option.

As always, the bells jingled as he entered, but there was no shout of his mispronounced name.

Nevertheless, he took a seat at the counter, ordering the whiskey not because he wanted some, but because he subconsciously attributed it to this location and time, despite not having an overwhelming number of memories here. He supposed that certain memories can be short but impact you more than you could ever fathom.

Even while he waited, he'd began to feel the pit of his stomach drop, like he had a cavity in his chest in place of a soul. Jouno hadn't realized up until now how accustomed he'd grown to a persistent joyful presence in his life, be it [y/n] under human or canine form.

The waiter returned, placing his order against the counter, and murmuring in a melodic voice, "I didn't expect you to come."

He didn't have to glance upwards to know it was [y/n], and so kept his gaze downcast.

"I'd say I'm sorry but I don't quite see anything to apologize for," they said, taking a sip out of his drink, lips lingering at the rim of the glass. "I had a lot of fun in the past few months, haven't you? My approach might've been a bit cruel, but think of it as Karma for shooting me, twice. This way, we're even! Wha'd'ya say? We good?"

Jouno's mouth betrayed him as he snatched the cup from them, chugged it all down at once, then said, "yeah, why not?"

Immediately, their heart rate sped up from excitement, and they leapt across the counter to trap him in a bear hug. Trying to resist but knowing there was no point, he eventually melted into their embrace.

Pulling away, they giddily babbled, "Okay, so now that you've forgiven me, I feel like it's a great time to mention that I've seen you strip multiple times and I would've told you that it was weird to change your clothes in front of a dog but I didn't know how to tell you or look away without acting weird so I just went with it and I feel like maybe I should compliment your stellar abs while I'm rambling like this but complimenting you will probably not do much good so how about I just offer you another drink and we forget this whole thing?"

Jouno cursed under his breath, nearly chuckling but not quite, realizing that they were right. "Fuck, what else did I do?"

"Well, I've got to tell you that your snoring is adorable, but you roll a lot in your sleep and that, mister, is something we need to take care of."

For the first time since he could remember, Jouno laughed a genuine laugh, not laced with malice or sugarcoated, as he listened to [y/n] vividly recounting their numerous embarrassing tales of him, only to be teased back for their dog habits like the panting and tail wagging. He'd've thought that the drinks were making him loose, but [y/n] had actually told the waiter to give them both multiple shots of apple juice.

As the night progressed, Jouno slowly found out that he'd opened himself up a lot more than he was comfortable admitting. Yet, this made him both want to retreat and lock [y/n] out of his life and invite them into his daily rituals, to never let them go. On the other hand, [y/n] had always found him to be a wonderful person, and only became further entranced as they watched him operate on a daily basis.

Somehow, Sweet fell in love with Sour, and Sour fell in love with Sweet.

Another set of months later, Jouno returned from a particular mission given to him in the middle of the night, exhausted, ready to do nothing expect collapse onto the bed and sleep.

He was practically dragging his feet as he approached the door of his apartment, inserted the keys lazily and opened it. As always, his partner called out for him.

"Sai!" they said, skipping up to the door and noticing his beat up expression. "Damn, what did they force you to do this time?"

He shook his head before burying it into the crook of their neck and letting his hands dangle by their side. "The guy I had to interrogate was an opera singer, lungs of fucking steel." Strands of his hair were brushing by their skin, and his lips were murmuring against the warmth. "He wouldn't stop screaming my ears off, even with the gag."

Unable to contain their laughter, they poorly comforted him with a rub on the back while shaking from giggles. "My poor baby, today hasn't been your day, has it?"

Almost like handling an infant, they snuck their arms under his own and half-carried him to the bedroom. Getting in with him and tenderly placing a kiss on his cheek, [y/n] traced out random features on his face with their fingertip, hoping to soothe his body with touch.

"You smell terribly by the way," they said sarcastically in a deep sultry voice. "Do I kick you out to sleep on the couch or are you gonna take a shower? I can smell the blood on you, darling."

Half-asleep already, he slurred a, "Tomorrow...", followed by, "It's not my fault you've got the nose of a dog."

"You aren't any better," [y/n] teased, rolling over on top of him and kissing his sensitive lips with the delicacy of a flower blooming in spring snow.

"Just... let me sleep," he groaned, waving them away like a fly, only to have his hand caught by their own.

"Mnn, fine," murmured the [h/c] haired individual, gazing at him softly with heavy eyelids, as mesmerized with him as always. "Want something fluffy to snuggle into?"

"No, stay the way you are."

With another kiss that lasted a bit longer and in which Jouno participated weakly, [y/n] rolled back and cradled his head, bringing it onto their chest.

"'Night, [y/n]," he managed to say, shifting himself so that he was curled up against their figure. After a brief pause, he shuffled himself again under the covers, resting his head on their body. With their chest steadily rising and falling in sync with their consistent breathing, he found that he slept so much better.

They smiled gently.

"Goodnight, Saigiku."

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #saigiku jouno #jouno saigiku #bsd jouno #jouno bsd #jouno x reader #bsd x reader #jouno bsd x reader #jouno saigiku x reader #jouno x reader bsd

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lemonflavoreddishsoap · 1 year ago

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Hello!!, I saw that you were accepting requests so I wanted to ask for a LS with a S/o who is a member of a punk band!!

PS: sorry for my bad english… I'm using a translator to send this:(

Since I already kiiiind of did similar headcanons for Formaggio and Risotto, I won't include them in these headcanons, I hope that's okay!!

ADDITION IM ADDING NOW AS I FINALLY WORK ON SOME DRAFTS HOOOOOOLY SHIT AM I SORRY I'VE NEGLECTED MY DRAFTS FOR SO LONG I'm going to try to get back into a writing groove!!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

La Squadra with an S/O in a punk band

Illuso

He makes everyone and their grandma listen to your band. He's boasting about how good your music is, he's practically a living advertisement. If you don't want people to get sick of your band's music, please try to ask him to stop

If you're the singer of the band, he'll sometimes start singing your songs, hoping you'll start singing with him.

Hell, even if you aren't the singer, he'll do it.

Makes his way into as many concerts as he can - his stand comes in handy here as he sneaks in pretty damn easily...I mean I don't really know if he needs to but he does anyway?

Prosciutto

Music-wise, it's not exactly something you two connect on, however, he recognises talent when he sees/hears it.

And while he may not listen to your band's stuff on his own time, he will never turn down watching you practice a song or an instrument either on your own or with your band.

Your sheer concentration and skill captivates and attracts him, he loves it.

If you ask for it, he's willing to give feedback when you play him works in progress - he's very fair with his comments, never too harsh, never too soft.

Pesci

He is CONSTANTLY praising you. Number one fan all day every day, supporting your band as much as he possibly can.

I've said before that I think Pesci's music tastes are a bit of everything, so he has a good appreciation for the kind of art you make and you two can bond over music pretty easily.

He's very nervous about talking to any of your bandmates, but he always asks you to pass along compliments to them. Appreciation for everyone! aughghghg i love him

If he has the time, and you're okay with it, he loves to help with performances!!! If you need help setting ANYTHING, he is willing to help out

Also...be prepared for a very proud, mushy Pesci after any of your performances

Melone

"You've been playing together for how long? And your biggest inspirations are...?" idk why I just think he would like. Be a major contributor if you guys had like a wikipedia page or something. He's interviewing you and tippy tapping away (there's a post showing off how silly he types, I need to find it again)

He's asking about all the instruments, all the equipment - if you'd be so gracious as to possible teach him how to use any of them he will be thrilled.

He's just generally super curious about it all, he possibly asks too many questions...as in, you're wondering if he already knows the answer and just wants to listen to you talk.

Similar to Pesci, Melone spreads the appreciation all throughout your band!! No one's talent goes unnoticed to him, and in time he'd like to befriend the other members of the band.

Ghiaccio

Watching you perform does something to him. He's completely fucking silent and his eyes are GLUED on you. It's kind of scary from an outside perspective but to you it's absolutely adorable.

He's listening to your band all the time. Ghiaccio, at least in my thoughts, has such a deep passion for music and pays deep attention to how each individual in a group plays their instruments, how it all comes together to create a unique sound. Obviously, this is a million times more special for him listening to your stuff because well...it's you.

In previous headcanons, I mentioned that he blasts music into his ears when he listens as a sensory thing. With yours, he likes to close his eyes and imagine you and your band are right there.

No because now I can't stop thinking about it. Ghiaccio would love to have a musician s/o. He would love that so much holyshit?

You find him in heated arguments against random people in the comments of videos of your songs. Classic Ghiaccio.

#la squadra #jjba x reader #la squadra x reader #ghiaccio x reader #illuso x reader #pesci x reader #jjba #melone x reader #prosciutto x reader

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txxxciii · 6 months ago

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Happy PRIDE month!

As a way of celebrating, I will be posting my sexuality/gender-related headcanons of various Mortal Kombat sources, starting with:

MORTAL KOMBAT (2011) LGBT HEADCANONS

(Note: this won't be including guest characters)

Tbh Baraka doesn't have anything interesting going on with him until MK1, but I personally like to headcanon that tarkatans don't have gender norms in a way that we do; reproduction for them is not an important priority, just something you can do if you like how the other one smells or something.

Tarkatans are intersex by default, including Baraka. The "genders" are usually assumed by non-tarkatans, in Baraka's case, by Shao Kahn, who only wished to see male figures in his army.

Btw, tarkatans themselves never refer to each other by pronouns. They do it either by simply saying the name, or making a sound that is only associated with a particular individual.

You already know. The non-binary monarch (king but gn) of MK.

With so many souls living inside you it's only a matter of time when you just start using They/them. Something also tells me that Ermac doesn't mind being called other pronouns – well, not like they care.

I'm sorry, you cannot convince me that Jade "I care more about my friend's safety than myself's" from Edenia likes men. I can go and write a whole rant about Jade and Kotal and how I fucking hate that stupid Walmart Sonic on steroids (not only for his romantic ties though), but I'll save that for later, maybe. Until then, Jade developed a crush on Kitana over time and doesn't wish to let go of her since she's the only reason Jade keeps going everyday. Alas, the feelings are not mutual, but Jade knows better than to envy Liu Kang. She's happy that her friend found her love, and she wishes one day to let go and find her own, too.

Kabal is a gay man, but not a closeted one. He had partners throughout the spam of his adult life, from Black Dragon to police forces.

There were rumors going around inside of Black Dragon that he and Kano had a affair. Whether or not this is true is left for speculation, as neither Kabal or Kano wish to discuss such topic.

What is true, however, is his work romance with Kurtis. At first, Kabal actively denied his attraction towards him, but learned to be more truthful to himself. He had a hard time opening up though, as he did have bitter aftertaste of his previous relationships, but somehow things were pretty decent, mostly thanks to Stryker's demeanor.

(Yeah I'm a strykabal truther, how can you tell?)

Every iteration of Kenshi is demisexual in my eyes. Bad part? I can't really explain my reasoning. Sometimes you just see a character and immediately assume things about them.

Maybe it's due to Kenshi not really having any romantic interests prior to MKX, as far as I can recall. Maybe it's just an ace-dar (as someone who's on the asexual spectrum). Oh well, we'll never know.

Like with Kenshi, every iteration of Kung Lao is gay in my eyes.

I see it more as Kung Lao not realizing his sexuality yet as throughout his life he had no time to think about personal stuff. When he does realize, however, he'll view it as an advantage as monks are typically forbidden from getting married and having intercourse, thus meaning he will less likely be judged by his fellow ones. Yes, he'd plan on simply ignoring this aspect of himself as getting into a relationship would bring a lot of burden (and if Lao falls in love, he will fall HARD).

Mileena is canonically bi!! Duhh! She likes positive attention from anyone, regardless of the race or gender. Either way she will take advantage of the partner and eat them alive :)

She's also part tarkatan, which should technically make her intersex, but since Kitana's genes are the dominant ones, she's assigned female. However, she believes such limitations are stupid, so she uses She/they for herself. It makes her more proud of who she is.

Gods don't need s*x!! Also I think he's canonically genderfluid since he can be literally anyone.

Uhh idk that's it.

One of those times where I can't explain my reasoning... again.

I just feel like Rain liked the thought of absolute control ever since he was young, to the point where he wanted to control his own body's appearance. Even if he didn't realize it, he always wanted to have a body of man, to speak like a man and to be viewed as one as well. Once he finally reached his ideal physique, he felt like he was unstoppable.

... or something like that, lol.

I meaaannn... why else would bro CHOOSE to change into anyone?

I have this little headcanon that Shang Tsung gets bored very quickly. To cure his boredom he'd transform into one of his captured souls and go on with his day until he gets tired of that body too.

———

Alas, these are all for now. Tumblr won't let me upload another image but just so you know, Stryker is a closeted bisexual. No reason other than vibes.

Anyone else who didn't make it to the list are either cyborgs or those who I think are straight. Anyways, hope you enjoyed and understood everything I just wrote. Byeee :3

#tox talks #mortal kombat #mk #mortal kombat (2011)#mortal kombat 9 #mk 9 #baraka #ermac #jade #kabal #kenshi takahashi #kung lao #mileena #raiden #rain #shang tsung #pride month #pride

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comingdownwithme · 2 months ago

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Hello!! You, your (amazing) artwork and your headcannons have single-handedly gotten me back into the Creepypasta fandom, I cannot describe the reaction I had to seeing your artwork but everything you draw just feels so good to look at? I’m not explaining this very well, but your art style is so pleasing to my eyes, there’s just something about the shading, the lines and the way you capture emotions/expressions it’s just; chef’s kiss (I had a question I promise lol)

What made you draw Toby and Jeff as a ship/what are some past/future headcannons that you have for them? Or just in general if you want to use this as an excuse to ramble about them go for it, anything you say about them I will listen!

Secondly, what is your general headcannon for the rest of the Creepypasta’s? Also it might be because I’ve been out of the loop for a few years but I didn’t really realise there were ex-proxies now, if it’s something you’ve come up with for your story that is insanely cool to read about (anything involving the like, political(?) state of the proxies is fascinating to me).

This has gone on longer than I thought it would, many apologies! I hope you’re having a good day!

I'm?? So honored that my art and headcanons have influenced you?? Skjdjd IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY ART AND MY CONTENT, REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME AND ADDS A FEW MORE YEARS TO MY LIFE SPAN LMAO

As for what got me to drawing Ticcijeff, honestly? It started out as simply drawing the two characters I liked when I was a kid back at the archaic era of 2015 Youtube interacting, then it kinda... it snowballed from there– 😭

They both make me happy individually, so I figured bringing them both together would give me twice the serotonin (which did tbh) alongside the parallels of them both being reborn through fire, and my growing interest in these two were only enabled further by the few good Ticcijeff fanfics on AO3 lmao

As for headcanons? I'm just gonna,,, link some posts abt my dynamics for them and their lore and background so far because if I wrote all my thoughts abt them here we'd be here all day. (though there's absolutely more to come)

About their Childhood friendship

Another post about their childhood friendship! (Featuring the two's dynamic, Jeff's intrusive thoughts, and some additional background info on Jeff)

About Jeff and Toby meeting years later

What happened following the previous post

As for general headcanons for the creepypastas? Their world is a little bit more fucked than our own. Strict rules are set by authorities, there's a tight curfew in place for the safety of people, and death and missing persons cases have become common enough in recent times that it's become a morbid part of normal life.

Unbeknownst to the lay person though, the killers and criminals roaming the night aren't the worst one could encounter. There are incomprehensible- even malevolent horrors that defy the rules of the universe, that cross the boundaries of logic and reason, and even the dead won't stay dead for long in this world. In a twisted universe plagued by death and unknown creatures, even the scum of humanity have to carve a place out for themselves and survive.

Soooo uh, yeah, that's a gist of it lmao, but I'm gonna dump some specific headcanons too for the creeps, especially for each characters like I did here for the girls and here for Jack and Ben eventually!

Also, as someone who's been out of the loop for years (I just joined the fandom officially this year, the only social media site I had back in 2015 was YouTube 😭) I HAD??? NO IDEA EX PROXIES WERE A THING WHICH IS HELLA INTERESTING

I'm definitely gonna write down and flesh out the proxies and their relationship with the Slenderman, but thaaatssss for another time 👉👉

#THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO ASK AAAAA #SORRY FOR THE LATE RESPONSE BUT I HAD FUN WITH THIS #creepypasta #asks

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good7luck · 1 year ago

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Adding more to my post about Noe in VNC manga latest chapter 61.5

(more under the cut)

First, thanks to all the people in my previous post! I didn't expect to get more than just a few notes, I feel honored ;w;

I considered re-writing the entire post at that time, but I think I'll just leave it as it is and make this additional post instead :P

I must say, this - especially the latter part - would be more subjective and controversial, probably? ^^;; maybe even unnecessary. I know it's just my personal imperfect view from my limited experiences for now, in the end.

In VNC so far (~ch 61.5), the Dham (racism) matter was (almost) brought up a few times:

Noe got to hear about Dham for the first time here. But he couldn't get to learn more and deeper, because the kidnapping incidents were so urgent and dangerous. I suppose, Noe could've asked "Why would the kidnappers let go of you just because you're a dham?"...but it'd be very inappropriate and rude, as if Johann should've gotten kidnapped lol?

A LOT of things happened in this arc, especially in regards to Vanitas, so maybe Noe couldn't think of getting to know more about Dham specifically. (Or, more like, MJ-sensei thought it's not time to go further with Dham yet XD)

This is just a moment, but it shows some glimpse of how tough to live as a dham and how Johann (truly) feels. And...Noe was NOT here, and it's unlikely that Vani bothered to tell him about this.

This is probably the closest one where the word Dham was used like a slur (on thin ice) by Vani. And, again, Noe was NOT here, and honestly there's no way Vani has ever talked about this to him.

4) Not animated (which is a big shame, indeed), but in ch 40, Dante remembers when he got bullied for being a dham and when he first met Vani who hates all races equally. Only Johann was around him, and I'm sure Noe couldn't (properly) hear Dante far away: he was with Vani and JJ to find the Book and save Chloe, who started to completely lose herself and destroy things.

(sorry if I missed some ^^;)

My point is - Noe really didn't have a chance to learn about Dham and the discrimination properly. He even never witnessed one himself. Besides,

the Dhams never looked like they're suffering from Orlok or in his office to Noe.

So, I think it's very understandable that Noe in the latest chapter couldn't even guess that such a horrible and systematic oppression has been happening to the Dhams then and now. It's all news to him, literally. Of course he hasn't noticed it yet that his words and actions aren't being (practically) helpful for the Dhams, much less he's making Dante angry for real.

That's why I feel it's quite unfair to (seriously) blame Noe for his (innocent) ignorance and the (gonna-be-unfortunate) outcome. It'd be rather unrealistic and OP, if Noe manages to immediately comprehend everything "right" and take "right" actions on his own lol

To be more personal and controversial...

I know it might be merely that some people hate / mock Noe and try to make anything he does (not) a problem / joke "just for fun", but...

Some seem to genuinely believe Dante should kick Noe or such, and idk, I must ask - what did they expect from Noe there, exactly? What do they think Noe had to do in that situation "instead", then? Is there a "good" "solution", even?

It's been only a few weeks (or months) since Noe arrived in Paris, and he's still almost a stranger in regards to the Dham matter. It's even not that he came to study Dham. Noe didn't even jokingly agree with Manet / Nox. It's pretty clear that he simply wanted to do something to make the messy situation better (and sincerely cared about Dhams), even if he didn't understand what's going on in front of him.

Noe is one mere individual, not even officially a powerful, high noble like Domi. Count Orlok is not rude to Noe but still casual to him, while he's much more polite to Domi cuz she's "higher". It's praiseworthy that Domi realized she's also participating in the racism, but somehow it's terrible that Noe consequently called out the racism and tried to help the Dhams? Which let Domi notice her own racism?

I wonder if they wanted Noe to "just shut up and stay still", but tbh..I feel...even if Noe actually didn't do anything there, they would've still easily accused him for doing nothing but "heartlessly" watching the racism (and so siding with the oppressors and so being a racist), with "silence / neutrality = consent / approval !!!", perhaps lol?

To be very honest - I admit it's still quite hard for me to fully understand why Dante is THAT angry at Noe, even after reading some fandom posts / comments.

Like, I get it, Noe is probably making the situation worse for the Dhams (which is utter tragic), or he sounded too un-serious to him. Dante sure didn't expect to see Vani there, much less suddenly hear some burdensome demand about Machina he hates, the whole Dham "lecture" (why and how they've been discriminated for years), and all the various / explicit insults to him and his family. I sincerely feel so sorry for him and Dhams. I really do.

But like...honestly and strictly speaking...Dante chose to get mad at Noe of all people there, NOT at the obvious oppressors (Manet, Nox, and Count Orlok), even in front of the very oppressors. As if Noe was clearly "worse" than them. This happened basically because Dante thought it's "okay" to throw his anger on Noe, unlike on the real oppressors.

"OMG of course Dante cannot lash out at them, he and Dhams will get only harmed worse by them later!" Yeah, while "nothing bad" will ever happen, even if Dante pours his rage on Noe "instead". Noe is "kind", "not oppressed", and "not socially high enough", so Dante should feel free to use him as a punching bag, "right"? Sorry to be "cruel", but...would Dante have been able to do the same (or unable to hold himself back), if it were not Noe but Luca or Antoine?

I mean, I genuinely cannot fathom why some people try to demonize Noe and "cheer" Dante that much (to "call out" Noe and/or get violent to him, idek), as if Dante is about to perform an act of "justice" towards Noe. Especially when the actual oppressors are right there without feeling any guilty or threatened lol? :/ I'm aware one cannot always rationally think and do perfect, but seriously...it's NOT a good look (for Dante) in any way? Do they "prioritize" seeing Noe get bullied thaaaaat much lmao? ://

It's also "funny" that I've (at least personally) never seen any criticism towards Vani about this. He's the one who forcedly and carelessly brought Machina and Dham stuff in front of the (aggressive) oppressors, even if he understands pretty much everything. He also should've seen what could come, especially when he himself openly gets discriminated by them as well for being a human and the kin of the Blue Moon.

Vani gave Noe all the explanations he needed, sure, but he wasn't polite in general (as always, I know). It also implies Vani never told any of his plans to Noe beforehand again. He blamed Domi for Noe's ignorance, but he didn't provide enough info to him, either lol Vani didn't particularly discriminate Dante or Dhams, but honestly he (and Domi, too) didn't try to stop the racism in the office, either - actively or indirectly, in any form.

I obviously don't mean Vani / Domi is to blame for the racism, much less worse than Count Orlok, Nox, and Manet. I'm glad the fandom rightfully got disappointed in the Orlok trio, calling the bigots out! Still, I don't get why some are overly harsh on Noe and only him lol Did he do THAT wrong and worse? Apparently, maaaaaybe he should've just "quietly" accepted and "wisely" gone with the racism, like Vani / Domi (low-key) did, not "wasting" his energy and kindness only to get hates lmao? ://

I think Vani should've been more patient and just made a private future appointment with Dante to ask for the Machina matter later, for example. But I guess this might be OOC lol

I feel it would've been great if Domi calmed down the people in the office, using her social status (ex. clapping and calling their attention to return to the subject - which should've been Orlok's job...).

I believe I would've taken it better if Dante simply tried to quickly silence Noe (to not make things worse) and/or talk to him (even get angry at him! though preferably not XP) in private later.

Of course, none of this would've mattered, if only the Orlok trio wasn't racists / the racism didn't exist in the first place...

Thank you for patiently reading my long and incoherent opinions!! Sorry if I was being too dramatic or such OTL

#vnc spoilers #vanitas no carte spoilers #vanitas no carte #vnc #vanitas no shuki #les memoires de vanitas #the case study of vanitas #memoir of vanitas #not tagging anyone #good7luck

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naranjapetrificada · 6 months ago

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Like, I understand that people are upset about "dragging a specific fic in public" and "looking for moral justifications when you're squicked out" but one thing I'm seeing repeated more than I thought I would is the idea that criticizing something with troubling social implications is about morality in the first place.

Like okay, in the post that OP made about the fic in question they did mention squick, and that's one thing, but all this has me thinking about what if they hadn't mentioned squick at all. Not in a "what if the world was made of pudding" way, but in the way people are jumping on that in particular so quickly and eliding social dynamics and morality.

I bring this up specifically because I think a lot of y'all have forgotten that "troubling implications" around social dynamics aren't about individual morality, they're about structures. And y'all seem to be in a rush to forget that because someone you like is in the crossfire this time. If you want to make OP's choice to talk about it all publicly about morality because it was impolite I guess go off, but don't let that get repeated in reblog after reblog as if social forces are something individuals make a conscious, moral decision to reinforce or not.

[And for the record I do have questions about a preceding fic by the same author that in a vacuum does seem to uncritically traffic in the inherent racism of canon-era Stizzy and I don't think interrogating that publicly (or talking about my confusion/disappointment in seeing that author seem to fall into that trap after writing dozens of other fics that don't do that) the way I have done in previous posts was about moralizing and you can fight me on that I guess but I stand by my concerns and my decision to raise them publicly because I have enough experience being black on the internet to know that sometimes it's best to keep frought conversations with/about white people in public where there are witnesses]

#fandom discourse #ofmd #our flag means death #being a fandom is suffering #la fandom es dolor

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twig-tea · 1 year ago

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Current Tag Game

Tagged by @waitmyturtles @lurkingshan and @wen-kexing-apologist!

Current Time: 12:27 PM

Current activity: Taking a lunch break from work between back-to-back meetings (during which I sometimes post to tumblr when they are not useful meetings lol).

Currently thinking about: Balancing work stuff with Palestine stuff with Shadow theories! Also trying not to think about medical news I am waiting for....my brain is a stressful place rn.

Current favourite song: So I fell down a TXT FreeFall rabbit hole; fell in love with Skipping Stones, which then led me to the artist who created that song, Hanroro, and am now obsessed with one of her other songs, "Even if you leave,". Her tone, mood, just everything. Obsessed.

youtube

Currently reading: These days I only read fanfic and nonfic. Oh and the Batman: Wayne Family Adventures webtoon lolol Shoutout to Yeaka on A03 who (among other things) writes pitch-perfect Ustukushii Kare ficlets that get me through the day; here's the one I read most recently.

Currently watching: lol here we go (in no particular order but semi-ranked in terms of how much space they are taking up in my brain?):

Shadow the Series: binged all 7 eps yesterday, eagerly awaiting the back half!

I Feel You Linger in the Air: finale this week; this one was really hard for me to watch at first due to the the sexual assaults in the first four episodes, but it's a really gorgeous piece of work and I'm glad I stuck with it (I did have a real moment to myself where I thought if this pattern was going to continue I would have to drop it, but luckily it did not keep going). There are a few powerful scenes that I've written about separately that will live rent-free in my head.

Kimi ni wa todokanai / I cannot reach you / won't get through to you: I'm watching this one grey thanks to the incredible sub work by @lurkingteapot (follow @kiminaisubs!) and am absolutely loving it. These are such wonderful characters. It's so interesting to be watching this at the same time as the next one, because the similarities and differences make comparing the two a richer experience watching both!

Kimi to nara koi wo shite mite mo / If it's with you: Amane has rocketed up to one of my favourite characters of all time. Love how the family stuff is integrated into this show. I think I actually like this show more than I cannot reach you, but I've been providing the minimal insight I can into drafts of the subs for the other show so have been thinking about it more.

One Room Angel: very excited for this one, the humour is pitch-perfect and the themes are my cup of tea. I love supernatural stuff, and mysteries especially around supernatural mechanics, and psychology, and self esteem issues. and all that good stuff.

Kinou nani tabeta / What Did You Eat Yesterday?: Love that this show has retained the heart and quality of the previous work. Loving this a lot. It's not higher on the list only because I don't need to think about it a lot, it's SO legible, and so well done.

Mr Cinderella 2: I am having a FANTASTIC time with this show lol it is such a pulp; there is high drama, paranormal elements (rituals and potions), insidious psychological tricks, and really solid relationship writing. This show starts with the main couple together, and shows how they deal with all of these external forces--which works for me in a way it doesn't with Kiseki below because their response as a couple at first is to unite and shore up; they support one another through it. It's when they start trying to handle things on their own (and this is justified by the narrative) that things fall apart.

Kiseki: Dear to Me: Like everyone else, I have fallen in love with Ai Di the murder kitten. I think the mains aren't resonating with me as much because their problems are all external rather than internal, and they keep trying to handle them individually (i.e. without ever working as a couple to face these issues), but they are also very pretty and I appreciate all the lap-sitting.

Absolute Zero: Honestly I now watch this show with annoyance like "What are you doing with this scene, New Siwaj? Why?". The mechanics of the show are still interesting but I am mad at it so I now approach those questions with annoyance rather than interest lol

Venus in the Sky: I liked this one way more than I thought I would; it's miles better than Check Out and far more coherent. It's a decent pulp!

My Universe: I'm a bit behind on this one but mostly caught up now (one story behind); the quality of these stories varies wildly but it's an interesting short story format! I'm keeping track of thoughts for all of the stories and will do a post when I'm done if anyone wants to know which are worth watching (since they all stand alone)

My Dear Gangster Oppa: This just got started; the first episode was pretty! I think it's going to be a solid and enjoyable pulp lol

You Are Mine: This one I am not enjoying. Too much boss-using-his-powers-over-his-subordinate-to-force-proximity-and-not-actually-communicating, and the women pushing this male secretary at his boss as fodder really sits wrong with me.

Dangerous Romance: I have very little sympathy for the rich boy who doesn't think through the consequences of his actions or the people who enable him, and I'm annoyed that the Sailom character we got at the beginning of the series who was self-aware, confident, clever, and had his priorities straight seems to have disappeared. There is no internal consistency in this show.

Taskmaster series 16: I love this dorky show from England lol comedians are given absurd tasks and then are judged; it's got a very strong undertone-turned-overtone of kink, and yet is family-friendly, and I find that fascinating. What a good show lol

Current favourite character: HMMMM. Amane from If It's With You comes first to mind, to be honest. He's gay, he fucks, he has self esteem issues but he's working on them, he's brave enough to be honest to his crush even though he's been burned before, and he asks for what he really wants, and then hold hope that he might actually get it. And his behaviour around his crush is relatably cringe. I LOVE HIM. [@wen-kexing-apologist wrote this before I saw yours but YES, sad boy hiding behind happiness is THE BEST]

Current WIP: I have 4 asks that I have in my drafts that I owe @wen-kexing-apologist, @mynameisnotthepoint (this wasn't really an ask per se but it was an excuse to gush so I'm taking it), @wanderlust-in-my-soul, and @waitmyturtles. I have been working on all of them and do still plan on answering them! I also have a draft re: Hidden Agenda the novel vs the show that I realllllly need to just stop fussing with and post.

Tags: Tagging folks I've chatted with recently! @dribs-and-drabbles @my-rose-tinted-glasses @slayerkitty @neuroticbookworm @lurkingteapot @crowie @visualtaehyun @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas @sorry-bonebag @thewayurant

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annellspethraven · 8 months ago

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It all started here. I woke up and looked at 'my' Discord server for the bloated tic of a fanfic (hey that rhymes, neurospicy two seconds!) I write with my partner SonaBeanSidhe, Aran Thranduil's Dining Hall. There hadn't been enough tea yet so the natural response was 'wth is this?' Well, THIS was going to Hoover my next two days and counting. Just visit the post, dear friends of the writing persuasion and you would see (I'll save you time because I'm nice this way) that there are many screenshots supporting just what the meme says: This Instagram OP knows a writer who found herself in a steaming pile of mess with the Google Docs TOS (which is really also the Google Drive TOS, making it somewhat difficult to locate said TOS. I'll save you more time. Here:

This information comes from https://support.google.com/docs/answer/148505#zippy=%2Csexually-explicit-material So, it was the act of sharing the files, not having created or stored them that triggered what had happened. Okay, still not reassuring. In the meantime, I was concerned enough to post what had happened to r/FanFiction. Within minutes, my post had been frozen by the mods there. I can see their concern. I believe they had only seen the meme-like first screen of the Instagram post, and it does come off like a bad Snopes Fail. They asked me for more proof. The first thing I did was a search for previous instances of Google having frozen Drive accounts previously. They are limited, but they exist. The concern here had to do with the current lack of information as to why the action happened, and whether we who collectively authored and had shared Docs with explicit content were about to have our Drive accounts fall before the scythe of an overzealous AI rollout on the part of Google. Which led to the second part of this. My first response to the mods was as follows:

A little while after I sent this, an update appeared on the Instagram OP's account (easy to find) so I added this:

The salient point of the update was that the author had received restored access to her Drive, but NOT the Doc that had started the entire difficulty. I waited for a response. And waited, and waited. In the meantime, I had no means to add to, respond to, anything to my original post or defend myself against some fairly sharp initial criticisms leveled against me by individuals who clearly hadn't read anything beyond the initial meme. Special. While I understand a sub this large likely has a lot of messages to field, I also felt that given they managed to freeze my post in a matter of minutes, they were really taking their time responding. So I weighed in on Instagram with a message of support. If nothing else is taken away, please take this: Back up your files. It's easy to create an alt Google account; this other account will have its own Drive storage. Share your folders and files with yourself. If you don't already realize, in Docs under the File dropdown menu the third option is Make A Copy. If you have shared the original document 75 times, you won't have shared that copy at all. Consider backing up your works to Indie platforms like Get Hermit, Ellipsus and The Quill. There may be others. Your own external hard drive is also a very good idea. But wait, you ask. What about just using MS Word, or having copies as a PDF file in the Adobe cloud? Not so fast, my friend. Look at Microsoft and Adobe's TOS regarding sexually explicit content...you'll get an unpleasant surprise. I did. In the meantime, a third update came from the OP on Instagram shedding far more light as to what had likely gone wrong. She had shared the Doc with she guessed 18-20 people as beta readers. The belief is now that one of these persons actually turned her in to Google via their abuse form. To quote one of the commenters on that update: "I heard from an agent that Google will only do this to your account if someone reports it. Google isn’t scanning docs for explicit content (except maybe images), but yeah, for this to happen, someone had to report her document to Google." This felt like a relief...and yet is still packaged inside a cautionary tale. How many of us have shared by 'whoever has this link'? I have, or rather, I had. I revoked all such permissions to all large stories and folders in favor of my few trusted long-time friends and beta readers. The works are on AO3. I don't need those Docs links to be free floating all over the place, not after seeing what can happen. I was on vacation in England some years prior when I realized I had lost the ability to send out all outgoing Gmail. It took me several days to figure out what had gone wrong and nearly lost me my ability to receive Covid test results at a time when that was a travel necessity...almost disastrous. Fortunately I had multiple email accounts and could work around the problem. Which brings me to the last of this.

While including the subreddit mod's responses here may seem retaliatory/petulant on my part...I'm at best miffed at their shortsightedness, maybe mildly insulted, mostly shaking my head at the fact that there is something to have been learned here that could have affected any one of us. No one was spreading misinformation. Something had indeed happened. The source of it had been unknown at the time of posting. Had they left my post alone I would have gladly redacted as it unfolded; the reason for placing it on that sub was not to create a giant stir but to let others know of the risk of this happening at all and to encourage backing up that which most writers invest a considerable amount of their emotional well-being; the safety of their written works. Yes, I'm neurodivergent. No, I don't always see the world as others do. No, I still don't think this difference allows the response to be interpreted as much other than a slight and working against the interests of authors (I'm on their side and last I checked, readers need the authors to have the things that are written in order to have the things to read. Just saying). Whatever, what really matters is, if you feel this is worth sharing, share, take away the important bits, and if someone out there just wants to write it up in 3 sentences so it isn't a tl;dr, do that too.

Have a Googly day, to all near and far, in these times in which we live...>.>

#google docs #google drive #terms of service #writing #fanfic #slash fanfiction #smut fanfiction #service provider #beta reader #Instagram

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angevinyaoiz · 9 months ago

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saw Dune 2 (2une?), and since I don't have my dune blog anymore I'll post here, since blah blah this is my place for posting about Dynastic Weirdos. This is long but NO MAJOR SPOILERS, except about like, small detail things that aren't plot things but whatever

Tbh it was disappointing. It had all the correct elements to be liked but one thing grated on me the whole time...the Bad Dialogue and lack of Elevated Speech! Why the hell were all these characters saying stuff like "these guys" "we're ok" and "literally" it took me out of the fantastical world sOOO bad. Super bummer because what I loved about Dune 1 (D-uno?) As someone who went into it before reading or knowing anything was how much it didn't explain, how it let the visuals and the world unfold before you, and how serious and somber it was in a way that gave it a sense of scale and time.

I can only wonder if WB saw all the complaints and tweets about people being like "we didn't understand the first movie!!! It wasn't funny and quippy!!!" And decided to simplify it down so characters just SAY things really obviously and inelegantly. The writing has some competence in moving the story forward but there's no poetry or rhythm to the way characters say things, it's serving "Rings of Power" scriptwriting to me lmao. And it's not like any of the actors are bad? I've seen them do well in the previous movie and in other things, so wtf was going on with the direction. I know people complained Abt Villeneuve saying that whole thing about being more into visuals than dialogue but maybe he was right...there needed to be LESS WORDS. bc much of the words we had were NOT GOOD.

Positivity: the middle and latter part was where the movie picked up for me. The Harkonnen Freak Villain behavior was everything I could have wanted! Finally instead of EXPLAINING everything obviously we got to see a LOT of character building, for Feyd specifically in a very short amount of time. I know a lot of us complained about Bald Feyd-Rautha but Mr Elvis did a very good job. And we got Madame Fenring and weird scifi femdomming finally, which is Essential for the Duniverse! Wonderful fantastic no notes.

Of course, getting back to our heroes, I anticipated this 2 years ago sadly and it was true...the Fremen were badass but SWAGLESS. More Learned ppl have already written about the frustration with the erasure of the Arabic/North African cultural presence so I won't reiterate that here since I'm not super knowledgeable about the specifics of that but even as a casual watcher there was a weird emptiness to the way I feel the society was portrayed. There were individual good character moments, such as fun bantering among the Fedaykin etc, but for Pacing or Whatever they cut out the community aspects that served to make them feel more like well, a People rather than just either Grizzled Soldiers/ Religious Fundamentalists aka Marks/Panicked refugees. I have to guess this was ppl were like "we can't show a culture too cool and colorful and the part with Harrah (Jamis' widow) would feel too ORIENTALIST!!! But the result is something sadly very dry. At least in more older orientalist works, the interest comes from when the ~exotic~ stereotypes figures are able to have charming personalities and personalities and be known as people despite the cliches sometimes but this sadly wasn't even like that....

Jamis' funeral is a good example of this; in the Book, it's a moment where you first get a good look of what rituals are like in this world, and how people relate to each other and to the dead. In the movie, the funeral is looks more foreign and even a little creepy as the water is extracted from the body. There's not really a Personal or community connection aspect to it at all.

The ending was pretty good as it satisfied all the Cool Dune Moments I think we all wanted to see, and also did literally the end of The Godfather Part 1 Framing which was hee hee heh. Anyways, Messiah is MY favorite book of the series personally so curious how they get to that.

Maybe I've been too spoiled by Cool Historical Fiction lately? I've been watching too much of The Devil's Crown where action happens mostly off screen but the dynastic drama is written and acted so compellingly, the historical mindset and setting so alien and yet so human and relatable, it's frustrating to see when works try to do the opposite? Idk??? Dune books themselves is fun in how action is mostly an "offscreen, offstage"' thing.

*if ANYONE in the Universe is a quippy Bastard, it should be Leto II esp in God Emperor where he literally has nothing to do all day but quip all day to terrified acolytes

#Dune 2 #dune part 2 #dune 2024 #2une #Long post #My writing #Not really spoilers in this?

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wordsandrobots · 7 months ago

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Had a pretty bad day so I'm going to boast about something.

I didn't mention it at the time but posting Chapter 14 of Ragnarök in G Minor on Friday took it past the previous high bar for individual Wishing on Space Hardware fic-length set by The Ares Affair (72,872 words vs 69,850). And this latest story isn't even halfway done. That'll come next week, and take the total word count for the series over 550,000 words.

(I'm hoping to land at about 555,000 because who wouldn't?)

Which is nice, and a good reminder of why, exactly, it took me half a year longer than expected to get Ragnarök finished. Because that did kind of disappoint me, but looking at it like this, it makes sense. There was a *lot* to get through to tie the overarching story together and give everybody some sort of key moment. My problem with writing fic for Iron-Blooded Orphans is that I want to write about ALL of it, and every single character, so it was probably inevitable that it wouldn't conclude with anything less then a doorstop of a fic.

Chapter 14 also marked the end of the character arc I started with the first IBO fic I wrote and I want to write a brief commentary on that. I'm planning a proper 'author's note' essay when the whole series is done, but this . . . this is something more specific.

(Behind a cut because it is talking about endgame stuff for Wishing on Space Hardware, which is already a post-canon fic for Iron-Blooded Orphans, so, yeah. Take heed and beware ye spoilers.)

I can't remember when exactly I decided one of the climaxes was going to be a three-way fight between fun-house mirror versions of the Devil of Tekkadan. Like much of WoSH, it fell out of the ever-expanding churn of ideas IBO left me with. But it's an obvious thing to do: take the legacy of the anime's protagonists and fracture it against itself for the sake of drama. Because whatever else, we are talking about a group of deeply traumatised child soldiers and there remains the potential for a lot of bad things to follow the hopeful ending of the show.

Embi is all the worst parts of Tekkadan. Violent, arrogant, selfish, reckless -- he's the vessel into whom I poured all that and more, to the point of having him actively reject the better parts. Heart-sickened by the death of his brother, the bonds of comradeship fray until he can't stand the sight of his former squad-mates, much less the miraculous returnee from the dead who catalyses the events of WoSH. At the same time, he can't stay at his worst. He struggles with new connections because they threaten to pull him from his grief. He doesn't want to move on. Embi roots himself in an old dream of being like Mikazuki, in the life of a mercenary soldier. Fighting is all he knows and beyond it lies the terrifying prospect of hope and trying. He'd have much preferred to burn up over Mars. At least that would have been a safely familiar ending.

Ordsley suffers the myth of Tekkadan, transformed by people who saw what a group of Martian children 'achieved' and wanted to surpass them. Yet the curse inflicted on him -- for he is of course a werewolf, turning with the influence of the crescent moon -- is to become unwilling legatee of Mikazuki's reality: the beast and the boy, the contradictory dreams of someone trapped by a system that sees people as raw material. For the smart young man at home on the proper side of history, it's a hell of a shock to reckon with the humanity of those condemned for their rebellion. Here, finally joining the survivors on the battlefield they once called home, the pieces click, for at least a moment. There are no easy answers in a world that offers children a choice between killing and starvation, but perhaps in the middle of the fray, it is easier to understand why they call each other friend.

Then there's Shino. The lovely, blood-thirsty himbo I thought it would be interesting to pluck from his canonical fate.

I know when I decided to shatter his prosthetic. The middle of last year, after reading writing by amputees, talking about how they are depicted, how that feeds and feeds off narratives fundamentally disconnected from their lived experiences. Still, I don't want you to get the wrong idea. I'm not trying to speak to those experiences. The canon has sci-fi prosthetics. It's detached from the real world. It's just, the ways it also problematises them . . . the way, particularly with the addition of 598 and his cybernetic eye, that dovetails with the propaganda drive from militaries to gift high-tech limb replacements to those mangled in the course of fighting . . . I don't regret pushing myself to dip my toe in those waters.

You see, I wanted to tie together the strands of Shino's trauma. His instinctive reach for quid pro quo in his relationship with Yamagi, finally answered with the truth of everything positive he left behind on his first 'death'. His great bête noire, that failure of his last-ditch effort to save Tekkadan, coming full-circle as he's given another chance, another challenge, met this time with greater experience and maturity, and the knowledge of when not to fight. Third-best no longer, bolstered by all those who taught him what it takes to fly.

And as he gets to prove his mastery -- in ways beyond Embi's suicidal commitment and Ordsley's engineered supremacy -- he also reckons once more with that pernicious belief he is only fit to fight.

There isn't an answer, you know. Those doubts about ourselves, those demons, don't go away even when we let them go. We just learn to carry on regardless. To accept the possibility that we can live anyway, and to stop throwing the best parts of ourselves under the bus in our rush to distance ourselves from the worst.

So the arm is smashed to bits, the fate of the mobile suit pilot, the soldier, the body spent in violence. But Shino finally sees his younger self in a positive light and does what nobody else was able to for Embi: tell him it's OK to leave. Whatever it takes to be happy, even if that's a million miles away. He treats Ordsley as Ordsley, not Mika 2.0, reinforcing Ordsley's newfound balance. Above all, throughout everything, he is not alone. This final fight is spent with Eugene right at Shino's side, backing him up, trusting him. The Ryusei-Go is Tekkadan as a community, the part that truly never wilted. Because the reason Shino can have this moment of catharsis is that he is loved. So many people, building him up, giving him a future.

Everything he would do for them, unhesitatingly, and has, more times than he will ever realise.

I don't know if it's character development, exactly. Honestly, I don't know if the chapter actually encapsulates these things the way I wanted it to. I've read it too many times to see it straight any more and, even with a lovely band of readers I am privileged to have commenting, I'm doubting myself a lot these days. I don't sit well on my laurels, with the things I've completed, the word counts and the tick-marks. I worry it's still not enough. Put a fair of myself in Shino, there.

But I think it's good. I think it came out the way I wanted it to. I think it's the right thing for the story, to take a giant mecha battle, the tragic, inevitable conflict, and flip it around into an act of firefighting. I think I should be proud I got here, even if I never expected to when I first sat down at my keyboard to explain why the hot bisexual anime boy was still alive, actually.

So I'm make a note, to myself, that I did. That I should be proud. That I am, of me, for doing that.

And if you're reading this and you're going to be reading the rest of the story -- I'll just say, Shino himself is going to tell you why his vivid pink robot arm needed to be demolished by a giant sword. There'll be another, eventually (they do have a cyberneticist on speed-dial), but for now, well. You'll see.

#fanfic #writing #more rambling #it's just been a bad couple of weeks #and the howling void where I once had a 650000 word fic series to spend every waking hour thinking about has been biting hard

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accirax · 4 hours ago

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Disventure Camp Season 4 Pre-Season Analysis

Welcome back, campers! Now that we've fully spun off the end of DCAS, another season has rolled into town. And, in my opinion, it's looking really great so far!

As with any series of predictions, it's sort of a fool's game to try to predict entire-season arcs and characterizations when all we have are a couple of minute-long intros and a singular trailer. Still, I wanted to share what I've observed so far, as well as analyzing what was happening in that chaotic trailer before the first episode comes out-- for us non-Patreon normies, at least.

SPOILERS for the prior 3 Disventure Camp seasons, as well as possibly this one if I'm right in my analysis. You've been warned? Here we go!

The Profile Rigs

When I originally watched the 18 individual character intros, I was watching very closely for one thing-- the profile rigs. When Anastasia's trailer dropped, everyone was quick to notice the spicy new front-facing and side profile rigs the characters seemed to be sporting. However, come Hannah's interview, suddenly, her profile rig was nowhere to be seen. Did that mean it didn't exist?

Slowly but surely, the trailers were released, and six characters were left without profile rigs-- Hannah, Benji, Lynda, Spencer, Jade, and Diego. Would these be six pre-merge boots with no shot at returning for the latter half of the season?

... And then the actual trailer dropped and Lynda, Jade, and Diego were revealed to have profile rigs as well. It's possible the other three have them as well; I didn't scrub closely enough to 100% confirm that they didn't. And that's why I waited until all of the character trailers were out to make my theories! Saved myself a lot of work by letting my theories get disproven before I write them 😎 But, for anyone else who was thinking along those lines, know that line of logic is essentially debunked.

Haha. About that. While I anticipated that there might be a trailer after the audition tapes finished, I certainly wasn't expecting there to be an Episode 1 trailer AFTER the main series trailer. Therefore, I wrote part of this post before watching the Episode 1 trailer. There honestly isn't a whole much in it other than some further character work (which is great) but in terms of challenges and stuff it doesn't change much of what I wrote. In the event that it does, I'll be adding further thoughts like this, in pink text.

Episode Count

Let me preface this by saying that, along with not being a member of the Patreon, I also don't follow Jared or Robert on Twitter, nor am I a member of any Disventure Camp Discord servers, official or otherwise. (And yet, I still take the time to write out this entire post. Such is my personality.) Therefore, it's possible that I could be missing out on something that's been confirmed or de-confirmed along the way.

That being said, I know from DC4's original announcement that this season has been stated to be 26 episodes long. That's two episodes longer than All Stars, our previous 18-person example. A standard 18-person season with no bells and whistles would need a total of 16 episodes to eliminate 15 people one-at-a-time, with a one part finale. That boosts up to 17 episodes if you assume a two-part finale, which I am at this point. However, that still leaves us 9 episodes short from our episode count this season. What does that mean?

Well, for starters, I'm going to assume that the first episode is an introductory, non-elimination one. Whether that's in the S1 tribe swap sense, the AS interview into tribe reveal sense, or an entirely new sense altogether, I don't know. But, even the description of the first episode on the wiki seems to support that the first episode will just be about introducing the contestants (as does the apparent lack of challenge/tribal footage in the Episode 1 trailer), so I'm fairly confident that can lock us in for at least 18 episodes.

For the other 8 episodes, I think we can predict a combination of:

Hidden Tribe Swaps: This is describing the thing that happened to Grett and Ellie in S1, where they thought they were being eliminated but instead they swapped tribes. I feel like I remember people being disappointed that nothing like this ever happened in All Stars, so I wouldn't be surprised to see it make a comeback in S4. Any instance of this occurring would add an additional +1 episodes to the season, because although it "saves" two people from elimination, given that the standard rate of elimination is 1 person/episode, we only actually prevented one person's elimination. Therefore, if this were the only solution, we could have 8 whole tribe swaps. I really hope that doesn't happen.

Comeback Challenges: You all know what this means. Someone is eliminated from the competition, but they get to come back through some sort of redemptive challenge! Based on the length of the season, I'm almost certain that this will be included. It grants you a whole +2 episodes every time it happens, because not only do you cancel one episode's elimination, but you add another player who will need to be eliminated again. If this happened, for instance, once at the midpoint and once near the Final 5-- mirroring the comeback systems of shows like Top Chef or Survivor in its seasons with the Edge of Extinction-- that could already book us for half of our extra episodes this season. Also, I want to point out that we know from the original DCAS boot order list's third version that ONC was once planning to have a comeback challenge in which two eliminated contestants came back at once. (Maybe the original plan was that eliminated contestants would work together, instead of being paired with a current player.) That also opens the door to the idea of two players coming back via one challenge, each instance of which would be +3 episodes.

Non-Elim Cliffhangers/Two Parters: This, to my memory, has not yet happened in Disventure Camp outside of a finale, but I think it's still possible. This refers to any episode that doesn't end on an elimination ceremony, but instead on some other twist or revelation-- Survivor's infamous hourglass twist did this in Season 41 and 42. If this was to occur, I hope that the ending-worthy cliffhangers would be more along the lines of a big strategic decision and less "OMG A is about to tell B that they like them!!!" However, given something we see in the trailer (which I'll get to in a minute), I'm inclined to think that this happening would be more advantage based and less love triangle based. But we'll see. And, obviously, each time this happened would grant us +1 episode.

Non-Competition Episodes: Namely, the Loser's Motel episode. Or, alternatively, if we spent an entire episode focused on the staff, or Jensen, or prior competitors or whatever. (I do not want it to be that alternative possibility.) Instances of this would likely be very limited, but they could still be used to absorb +1 episode or two a couple of times throughout the season. There are enough "missing" episodes that I wouldn't be surprised if each of these things happened at least once.

The Trailer

Finally, time for some actual, direct content analysis! I think it'll work best if I divide this into sub-headers. Before that, though, I want to point out that I'd imagine that anything depicted in this trailer is probably from, like, Episode 4 at the latest. That's not just because of not wanting to spoil what happens too late into the season, but also because I just don't think they'd have animation for any farther than that complete at this stage.

The Setting

It's a circus. With clowns. Yeah that's pretty obvious. I'm just putting this here because most of the opening trailer shots (of the season trailer and the Episode 1 trailer) seem to be communicating this fact and this fact alone.

The Teams

I swear there was an official image delineating the teams somewhere, but I can't find it. No matter, it should be pretty easy to determine who's on which team based on this trailer anyways.

There are many images in the trailer that support these being the teams, but this is the only one where everyone is on screen at once. Therefore, it's a given that the Ice Team is comprised of Logan, Ted, Marissa, Anastasia, Natalia, Isabel, Lynda, Richard, and Alessio, while the Fire Team is comprised of Zaid, Hannah, Tristan, Ivy, Jade, Benji, Amelie, Spencer, and Diego.

This will be important to keep in mind, as tribe draw is a crucial factor in determining whether you'll find allies in the early days, or if you'll wind up on a tribe you don't mesh with and be kicked out for it. For instance, the Fire Team seems to have a lot of younger players on it, which means that Amelie, the only player in her mid-30s, could initially be on the outs and struggle to find allies. Doesn't mean she's totally screwed, but leanings are all we really have right now.

The Challenges

Based on the trailer, I think I can confidently say that we've been shown three different challenges thus far.

The first is this "fighting with sticks in swimsuits" challenge, which happened in both S1 and S2, if I remember correctly. The weird thing here is that they don't actually seem to be near a body of water, but what do I know?

Based on the crowd, we can see that everyone is present at this challenge, which means it must happen pretty early in the season-- probably either the first immunity or reward competition. I'm going to wager that we didn't get enough footage to definitively decide which team wins, so I'm not even going to try to determine that.

The next is what I can only describe as a "hunting clowns" challenge. Not sure if it's a "last clown standing without being shot wins" or a "the most points scored on the clowns at the end of the challenge wins," but it's likely one of those. The only characters we're able to definitively place in this challenge are Marissa, Isabel, and Natalia (all as archers) and Hannah, Diego, Benji, and Spencer (with the former as archers and the latter as clowns). ONC was a lot cagier with who was shown in this challenge, which would make me think that it' might take place after the first elimination. If true, that would make all of these characters safe from being the first boot of their tribe.

This challenge is even cagier that the last, as the only way to piece together that they are likely part of the same challenge is by noticing that they all take place in this train-looking location.

I have no idea what happens in this challenge. We've got chickens, math, ice baths, worms, and getting your head shaved. I'd think that this might be a repeat of the "face your fears" challenge from S1, but chickens for the tour guide and math for the marine science student feel a little out of place for that. Also, why would Richard's fear be going bald if he basically already is bald? It's probably something else, but I have no clue what.

Anyways, we can see Diego, Jade, Ted, Ivy, and Richard in this challenge, with a bonus Logan, Anastasia, and Spencer as they can all be seen on the train in these scenes.

Other than that, there are a couple of screenshots that I think could be challenges, but likely aren't.

Between the log and the booth (both showing opposite teams), I at first thought there might be some sort of heavy lifting challenge in the works. However, both scenes look like they take place in a more camp-like setting, so I think these are probably just taken from scenes of each team arranging the camp. The last one would also match with that, as Ivy holding up a decorate posted while Zaid might be dusting or adjusting some lights. The trio looks a bit too calm for a challenge in that last screenshot, anyways.

Then there are these, which are a bit more confusing.

We've got Spencer rearranging some flags, and Jade taking a swim... in her normal clothes? Both of these could be challenge-related, but they also could be more scenes of daily life around camp. Spencer's could truly go either way, as rearranging the flags could be more housekeeping work or it could be some sort of puzzle. I'd be inclined to say that Jade's was part of a challenge, except them it seems like she would be in her swimsuit...?

In the Episode 1 trailer, we see Spencer collecting similar flags from the other members of his team (with several of them looking displeased).

That definitely places this scene in Episode 1, and, based on their stances, probably not in a challenge? But, also, I don't know what this would mean outside of a challenge. Perhaps it's not a team vs team event, but something more like the Sweat vs Savvy challenges that have been seen in recent Survivor seasons? In them, contestants have to choose between attempting a grueling but fairly reliable test of athleticism or a quick but unpredictable test of intelligence in order to earn flint for their tribe. I could see that the Fire Team might have wound up doing the intelligence (Savvy) task, which Spencer fully takes over-- possibly to win or lose it. However, there are a few flaws with this. First of all, Disventure Camp contestants don't need flint, so I don't know what they would be competing for. Secondly, there doesn't appear to be any corresponding footage of the Ice Team competing in any challenge...? Therefore, I'm not sure how Fire would wind up in this disadvantageous position, where Ice neither had to win a different challenge nor compete in their own Sweat vs Savvy task. So, maybe it's just about camp decor? I'm excited to see what these flags are about on the 30th.

Between the hunting clowns challenge and the train challenge, we've had confirmed appearances from Marissa, Isabel, Natalia, Ted, Richard, Logan, Anastasia, Hannah, Diego (in both), Benji, Spencer (in both), Jade, and Ivy. If I'm correct that these are immunity challenges two and three (in either order), that could spell trouble for Lynda or Alessio on Ice and Tristan, Zaid, or Amelie on Fire. Again, because we don't know which challenge will occur first (or even that they're guaranteed to be immunity challenges), none of the people pictured are guaranteed safe. However, especially for Spencer and Diego, I feel confident that they won't be the earliest of early boots.

Also, I wasn't sure where else to put this, but, hey, it's that thing I said we'd get to later. This sign-- which reads "Go down the path together to a private booth; you're both about to make a major decision" is giving BIG Journey energy. If you don't know what a Journey is, in the new era of Survivor, they've started having points at which (typically) one player from each tribe goes off to an island together, they get to chat for a little bit, and then they play sort of game (whether against each other or against chance) where they either win something (typically some sort of advantage) or lose something (typically their vote).

The interesting thing here is that this scene is decisively set at night, which, in Disventure Camp, is often reserved only for Tribal Councils. That being said, we already have footage of a challenge happening at night (hunting clowns), so this could be part of a challenge or on a non-Tribal night instead. No idea who will be part of this Major Decision Pair together, but it's neat that they're bringing in even more strategic Survivor aspects into this new season. I love strategy!

The Tribal Councils

Just pointing out that we have footage of both tribes going to Tribal council, at which I would have to imagine that everyone is present. (Why would ONC show footage of a Tribal at which not everyone is present if that necessitates that said tribe already went to a Tribal Council at which everyone was present???) Not much to say here, just that it seems very likely that both Tribes will go to Tribal a minimum of one time in the first 3-or-so rounds of the competition. My money is on the first two Tribals being one per team.

The Relationships

Given Tumblr's image limitations (and also the limitations of the time I want to spend writing this post), I'm not going to go over every time two characters are shown on screen together. Given that, I am necessarily being biased in portraying which trailer relationships I think might be important. It could be that I'm blowing something small out of proportion, or ignoring something important because I think it's more circumstantial.

Oh, and, also, just because this is the "relationships" section doesn't mean that I think all of these relationships will be romantic in nature. Friendships and other platonic relationships totally qualify as well! That being said, Disventure Camp's gonna Disventure Camp, so I wouldn't be surprised if several of these relationships are romantic in nature.

Speaking of toss-ups, Hannah and Benji! This is the pairing that I most fear I might be blowing out of proportion the most. But, when I saw this shot in the trailer, I immediately thought, "oh, I guess they're gonna be a couple!" We know from Hannah's intro that she's bi, which means that she has the capacity to be attracted to Benji.

I hadn't thought of these two as a pair before because I thought Benji would be eliminated early, but I think they could be really cute! I could see Benji's silly vibes making Hannah laugh, and Hannah's social skills covering up for some of Benji's awkwardness. Even if the relationship is short due to Benji getting eliminated early, I hope we get to see a lot of this dynamic!

As opposed to the other two, Ivy and Zaid seem to be shown together a lot in this trailer. Another pairing that I did not expect, but that I'm open to! They seem like they're having fun with each other. Sort of predicting romantic on this one as well, but it could totally be a friendship. Either way, an alliance seems inevitable.

Spencer and Diego definitely seem to have some sort of bond, as everyone predicted from the poster alone. Many people have also, I believe, already begun to ship them. I went on the record a few weeks ago as saying that I thought that Logan and Spencer would be the ship of the season, but with their being on different teams, I can't deny that spenciego(?) might win out in the end.

Of course, these two could also just be friends, and Spencer could wind up with Logan, or no one at all. Or, imagine if there was a love triangle with Spencer of all people being the main target of affection. Would that be wild or what? No matter what, I'm a fan of "opposites attract" dynamics (romantic or platonic) so I'll be happy if these two do wind up being a pair!

In the same post in which I predicted logancer(?) true canon, I also predicted that Richard would befriend Logan, which seems to be the case. I mean, c'mon. A gay basketball coach father figure and a probably-gay swimmer with a probably-not-great relationship with his parents feel like they were made for each other. And, given that these are fictional characters and not real people, they probably literally were...!

Don't have much more to say about these two because their dynamic already feels really familiar. They even both have their first initial on their shirt. They will be besties, for however long both are in the game.

Those are all of the main dynamics I got out of watching the trailer, but I did want to highlight a couple more that struck my interest.

Isabel + Natalia

Could just be a coincidence, but I felt like Isabel and Natalia were pictured together a lot in the trailer. And that's so cool. Again, a relationship I totally didn't see coming, but that I would love to see play out throughout the season if that's ONC's plan.

A lot of people in the comments of Isabel's audition tape were expressing the fear that Isabel would be one of the main villains of the season, and while (as an agnostic person) I don't have any particular dog in that fight, I do think it would cool to have the nun become besties with the trans woman. Show a little example of what Christian people should be doing, eh? They seem like they could balance each other out well, in another "opposites attract" kind of way.

Anastasia + Logan

These two have a very clear scene together in the trailer, with Anastasia yelling at Logan (on the train). This could be more of an established dynamic, but I could also see it being more circumstantial, with Logan, like, messing something up in that challenge or whatever. I could see them being a pair as a sort of prep girl x jock boy kind of thing? Not sure, but I'm noting it for posterity.

Lynda + Everyone

Seemingly, everyone wants to talk to Lynda. We have Marissa shaking her hand, Ted pulling her into a bush, and even Emily spying on her spying. It's interesting in the context of her saying that "she'll be the one pulling the strings." Aren't people like that supposed to be more... under the radar?

Still, it's probably a good sign for her, at least in the short term, to have so many people wanting to talk to her. I couldn't really pick one of these instances that seems more important than the others, so down here it goes.

Character Thoughts/Predictions

The only thing I really have left to do is run through the characters themselves and provide individual thoughts on how far I think they'll make it based on (mostly) their audition tapes). I'll try to keep each individual character's part fairly short and sweet, because... well, this post is long enough as is.

I'll go in order of the audition tapes' publication because why not. And I'll now feature the last names, so that I can try to internalize them before I presumably start tagging them all the time when I make my posts!

Anastasia Sizova

This girl has a name that's really similar to someone I went to college with. It's very distracting.

Distractions aside, I've seen people predict that Lynda, Amelie, or Isabel would be the main antagonist of the season, but honestly, I kind of get those vibes from Anastasia. She's not as obviously ~evil~ as the former two, which I think could help her make it deeper into the competition. Plus, with her not revealing why she moved to Australia, as well as having a stated goal outside of winning Disventure Camp, Anastasia feels pretty fleshed out. She's got secrets to share later down the line-- although, not necessarily as a villain like I predicted.

I definitely get late game vibes from her, and I think she'd at least make the merge. However, I don't think that Ice is a great tribe draw for her, as I don't see any clear allies for her there. Is "eliminated early, but returns via unannounced comeback challenge to slay" way too specific of a prediction? Yeah, definitely. So, I'll just stick with "late game and I like her" for now.

Ted Gordon

Many people have claimed that Ted has first boot energy, which I... sort of disagree with? Back at the time of Hannah's tape, at which point I was thinking that anyone with a profile rig would be making it decently far into the game, I could very easily see a future in which Ted made it deep into the game. Whether it was Ted actually delivering on the strategy he promised, or others finding his rough edges endearing, I could see him making it decently far into the game.

However, watching it back, I can also see why Ted would be a first boot. He's got a fairly abrasive personality, and his overconfidence could easily lead to overplaying. Personally, I see more of a mid-game exit from him, with maybe a slight bias for pre-merge as opposed to post merge. Let's hope the train can save him from an embarrassing early exit.

Hannah Roxas

Similarly-but-opposite to Ted, despite initially predicting that Hannah might win the entire season (very early, with only the Casting Call Club info), when I thought she was destined for pre-merge, I could easily see Hannah going out pre-merge. Her not knowing anything about Disventure Camp could easily lead to her being outplayed, and her revealing she's bi in her interview felt like something that ONC wanted the audience to know, but didn't have the time to explore in the series proper.

The trailers, however, started changing my mind back. Now, Hannah has something in the works with Benji, and seems to often be annoyed at Spencer. If the two of them are fighting, it could mean one of them is out of the game soon. Or, it could be DC's classic bickering duo and they could both totally make it far. I could definitely see Hannah as an Ashley-like "fuck all y'all villains"-type character, where her lack of knowledge of the game leads to her condemning those who are more into strategy than friendship.

Overall, I guess I'd place Hannah as a mid-gamer, more likely post-merge than pre-merge. But also, I think that early premerger is her cap-- I don't see her making it super late game.

Logan Bell

I remember who his voice reminds me of! It's Brett Hand from Inside Job. I love Inside Job...

In my mind, Logan has an easy ticket to the merge. As established, he has a clear ally in Richard, and his Olympic-level athleticism will surely make him a critical player for his team to keep around if they want to be winning challenges. However, athleticism is always a double-edged sword, as physical prowess can also make you a target once it's every man for himself.

I see like a final 7 or 8 placement for him? Little bit further if he does have the aforementioned romance plot with Spencer? He'll be #1 in everyone's rankings of their favorite himbo. Of this season. It'll take a lot to beat the collective love of Tom.

Zaid Hakim

I truly had no vibes on Zaid going into the audition tapes, and, even now, I still struggle with what to do with him. At least now I have a relationship with Ivy to go off of, as well as his care for his mom. That's cool!

Overall, Zaid seems like a really chill guy. If I knew him in real life, I'm sure I'd want to be his friend. However, average, cool guys are hard to place in a series like DC. Does his lack of exaggerated traits indicate that he might be easy weight to cut early in the game, or is his personality now simple to allow it to grow later in the season?

Due to the immense focus on him and Ivy hanging out early in the season, I'm sort of inclined to believe that it would be the former. Of the two, the Episode 1 trailer seems to indicate that Ivy has a bit more going on, so if this pair is to be separated partway through the game, I think it would be Zaid out first. And, they might be focusing a lot of Ivy and Zaid early because they don't get that long in the game together.

I have no oppositions to Zaid, but I guess I'm putting him premerge. I won't be at all upset if he makes it further, though.

Tristan Vik

Tristan actually had a shockingly low amount of content portrayed in both of the trailers, given the fan favorite I assume they'll be. It makes me worry that they might be an earlier boot than people expect.

That's compounded by the fact that I don't feel they have any natural allies on the Fire Team. Preseason, I had scoped out Natalia (trans handshake) or Alessio (artist handshake) as allies for them, but both of those two are on the Ice Team. I could see Tristan being friends with Hannah, as they're both friendly and about the same age? They were also shown in the trailer with Ivy and Zaid, so they could be a third cog of that relationship.

It is true that Tristan's perhaps overly jokey nature and apparent lack of strategy could cost them early on. I would have predicted a pretty late-game finish for them otherwise, but maybe the vibes are off? Or, maybe the lack of content is just indicative of them saving Tristan's content for later on in the season. With their spindly build and machinating lack, I can't see why anyone would really target them early on. At this point, I'm kinda thinking surprisingly early (premerge) boot for Tristan, but I could totally see it going the other way.

Marissa Xulu

I really want to know why Marissa's dressed so army-core when she isn't even enlisted in the army yet. That doesn't make sense to me. I guess she just comes from a super military family?

Anyways, copy and paste Logan's curse of athleticism bit here. Kinda wild that the two of them are on the same team, actually? I guess whoever in the (in-universe) DC staffing department wasn't too concerned with balancing strength, because they seem like the two biggest athletes here.

I feel like Marissa will also be a mid-game, probably post-merge boot? But I also feel like I keep saying that for everyone. Hopefully that'll change as we move further on the list.

Amelie Pierre

You can see it throughout this post-- Amelie seems like she's at risk for not having any natural allies on her team, she doesn't seem to appear in much of the challenge footage, and I (personally) have claimed that she seems like too obvious of a villain to be the true main villain of the seasons. With those aspects combined, it's not hard to predict that I personally think that Amelie is at risk of being the first boot, or at least the first boot off of the Fire Team. There's a very easy path to nobody liking her (due to her clearly not helping out with whatever log moving the team is doing in Episode 1) leading to everyone voting her out first as a consensus pick of an unfriendly and strategically dangerous player.

I do really like her vibes and backstory, though-- making a character like this a wedding planner feels like a match made in heaven, yet somehow not too much of a stereotype. Amelie's continued presence wouldn't be a problem, but she is probably my best pick for first boot at the moment.

Benji Hattori

Do you guys think Benji will be eliminated early--

Repeat from Hannah's section; I could very easily see a Benji-less future for S4 when I thought it was "foreshadowed" that would be the case. And, even now, he's not giving me a ton of hope. Both his Casting Call lines and his audition tape are giving big clowned upon energy, and in the hunting clowns challenge (where he literally is a clown), we see Spencer getting mad at him before he gets hit by an arrow. At least we know he won't be eliminated as a challenge threat...!

His friendship with Hannah might buy him a bit of time, but I could still totally see Benji being the second or third boot off of the Fire Tribe, pre-merge. If, for instance, Spencer is the one to orchestrate his removal, it could further the rivalry between him and Hannah. There's also a future where Benji makes it surprisingly deep as a non-threatening comic relief character, but I'm definitely leaning towards a quick exit.

Natalia Baez

I can tell they're gonna have fun with Natalia. All of her dialogue in her audition tape feels to me like the writers have a great understanding of her character, which is great to see. And, damn, why is she so strong?!

Outside of being excited for a potential relationship with Isabel, I don't really have much to say about Natalia, other than that I like her. I imagine she's probably going to make it decently far, as another fan favorite-looking type...? Really, that's it, though.

Lynda Anderson

Even preseason, I felt like Lynda was way too obvious of a villain to make it far. I know that she says she's going to be behind the scenes and under the radar, but the woman just oozes evil vibes. Like, these people have all seen Fiore compete in S1, right? They should be able to spot this "innocent" act from a mile away!

My best guess is that Lynda will attempt to play the under the radar game, but get ratted out by her team pretty early. That could be as early as the first Ice boot, as the footage seems to suggest, or maybe more of a second or third Ice boot.

However, I could be overthinking it as well. A lot of people seem to want to talk to her, which could indicate that she's assimilating well. Of course, one of those people is Ted, who probably wouldn't want to align with the "innocent house wife," so it could also go to show that her act isn't working.

Lynda is one of those characters who's either getting cut really early or making it super close to the end, but will most likely not get eliminated in the middle of the game. I guess I'll call it a "high variance character" for lack of a better name. Lynda could get kicked out for scheming early, or place, like, third as the main villain. As I said, I'm predicting the former, but if Lynda makes it to the merge, she could go super deep.

Isabel Carboni

Isabel... confuses me. Like, she's super cool, but I have no idea what to do with her. There just aren't many characters like her out there to compare tropes against, y'know?

I do think that the Lord has big plans for Sister Isabel in the sense that the DC writers are the gods of the DC universe, and I don't know why they'd create a character like Isabel if they didn't have plans of what to do with her. There's a slim chance that she was just added to DC4 as an early flame-out character, but I definitely get the sense that there's more to her beneath the hood than that.

I don't think she'll be a villain, though, despite her hinting at it in her audition tape. I think she might make, some kinda mean moves, but I don't think she's going to be an all-out "religion is bad" kind of character. Even if she is the main antagonist, I believe it'd be in a way that's divorced from her faith. I also don't really think Isabel's going to win, but, maybe a losing finalist...? That might be pushing it a bit too far, though. Given how popular Isabel seems to be, I bet ONC is wishing that Isadore has a late game placement, at least.

Is anyone else worried about the 999 (upside down 666) on her name tag...?

Spencer Lawrence

Spencer is perhaps the highest variance character in this cast. He's either getting voted out, like, literally first as a consequence of his hubris, or he's going to character arc his way into being the winner or something. Personally, I'm sticking with my prediction that he could be the winner.

If he does win, though, he's got a long road to get there. His audition tape is basically screaming for him to get proven wrong one way or another, whether that means getting voted out or just coming close. For a highly specific prediction, my vibes say that the first Fire vote will come down to which the Fire team dislikes more: Spencer or Amelie. Diego, seeing potential in Spencer, will pull some strings to make Amelie the boot instead, and then Spencer will be forced to play the game from the bottom instead of being the dominant force that he planned.

The fact that Spencer is seen so often throughout the trailer (in all three of the challenge locations, even) definitely bolsters my opinion. I'm probably reading into his interactions more because I thought he might win, but he seems to have something cooking with Diego, Hannah, and Benji already. It's main character energy! ... Or "gotta show the early boot before they leave" energy. Like I said, high variance.

He literally has the vibes of Jake combined with Alec, people. And you know who various groups wanted to win DCAS? Jake and/or Alec. Boom, I rest my case. (/j)

Richard Miller

You keep slaying, Richard. You keep slaying...

Richard also has decent longevity to me because of how strongly I believe he's going to have some sort of emotional arc with Logan. Other than that... yeah, I dunno, chief.

I certainly don't think that Richard is winner material, especially in a world where Miriam already won the first season. I think he'll likely be eliminated before Logan; it's just a question of when. Do I mark him down as another vaguely early post-merge boot? Yeah, probably. I could also see him as, like, the last pre-merge Ice boot, to force Logan to play for himself going into the merge. It's something like that.

Ivy Berki

I didn't really get much from Ivy preseason, but now that we've seen more of her, I really like her! Her combined aspects of a relationship with Zaid, an actress' redemption, and a potential nepo baby backstory(?) give her the legs to make it really far in the competition, honestly. Plus, she has a good tribe draw-- she's near the middle of the pack age-wise, and on top of foreshadowed relationships with Zaid and Tristan, I could totally see her being friends with Hannah and/or Benji due to their similarly bubbly personalities.

Given that Riya just won last season, I really doubt that Ivy would win this one here. However, it would be pretty funny if she came in third place, so that actresses would have taken up the first, second, and third slots collectively. Otherwise, she could also go out in more of the Final 5-6 zone, potentially. Or, earlier than that, obviously. But I definitely get the vibes that, out of her and Zaid, she'll be the one that makes it longer in the competition.

Jade Tanko

I know a lot of people think Jade has super late-game energy, but I... don't...? Not really, at least.

I just feel like we don't know a lot about her. We know that she has vitiligo, and that her parents are from Nigeria, and that she likes marine biology, and she wants to "change the way that this game is played." That's cool, but, like, what's her personality? "Chill"? Without any obvious allies, is that enough to carry her to the endgame?

I'd very much like to see whatever game-changing strategies Jade has in store, but I don't know if I believe it. She could be the sort of "kind yet under-focused" early boot trope that Lill, Dan, or Maggy fell into. But, in their fourth season, I sort of hope that wouldn't be the case, and I also don't know why they'd have her claim that she was going to shake up the game if that wasn't untrue.

I genuinely have no clue what to do with Jade. Maybe I should just call her fifth place as some sort of consensus. Personally, I'd lean more midgame. But I could just be missing that special something that everyone else can apparently see.

Diego Olivo

Diego's initial lack of a voice actor troubled me, but I don't actually think that situation was under "his" control. Now that he does have one, I think he could do fine! ... Probably!

His potential for romance with Spencer is really what's saving his chances with me. Spencer had better not get voted out early, lol.

Don't get me wrong, Diego seems like a sweetheart! He's another person that I'd love to know irl. And, most likely, he'll make it pretty deep due to his friendly personality and probable physical strength. Between him and Spencer, I still lean Spencer, but it could be Diego! Who can say? I was also willing to believe that his no-profile-having-ass could have been kicked immediately. Let's dub him fourth or whatever and call it a day.

Alessio Castelli

I want Alessio to kick ass in the competition because I think he's cool, but... I fear the first boot allegations may be tolling for him. If Lynda isn't the first Ice boot, I think it's basically over for Alessio due to the footage. And because I don't know what allies he'd have on that team. He's shown with Logan in the trailers, I guess...?

Although having a spotlighted presence in the Episode 1 trailer is ostensibly good, for Alessio, I can't help but read it negatively. "I don't care about early bonding; I care about the deconstruction of civilization" sounds all well and good. But, it could also easily be a confessional illustrating how his lack of game awareness will be his quick undoing. The main point I've seen in favor of Alessio is that his character intro says, "Will Disventure Camp 4: Carnival of Chaos inspire him to find his artistic spark again?" as opposed to just "will Alessio win" or "have fun watching Alessio!," which could indicate a longer run for him in which that question is answered. However, it could also be answered with a resounding "no" as he's eliminated first. It could even be that he figures it out in the Loser's Motel or at the finale or whatever.

Even if Lynda is the first Ice boot and Alessio survives, I don't think he'd make it too much further. Early merge boot is my latest forecast for him.

Finally done! This post is way too long. Excited to see the season on the 30th, and get proven totally wrong in subsequent episodes 😎 Thanks for reading!

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