#as weird as that sounds 🥴

[rucow]

is the morrowind fandom on tumblr a safe space or do i have to justify my "at least a Handful of the dagoth siblings should be women. voryn included" hc

at least half of them should be nb, methinks

[bunnihearted]

☁️🌷

[destinyc1020]

Well I’m sorry for thinking the guy that had to put emojis on his eyes because of how drunk he got the day twitter dragged his ass down when Z went public with her ex and celebrated her having someone on her level unlike him might also feel down after getting trending today for almost similar reasons. But your right, celebrities don’t feel an announce of jealousy.

[heartshattering]

I need to avoid things online that annoy me :')

[girlvinland]

So many weird dreams the past few nights 😵‍💫

Also I wish I knew other people who have sleep paralysis often (maybe someone does)? I know a lot of friends who’ve had it once or twice but I mean others who experience it more frequently. It can be so weird and unsettling.

[maiteo]

the eggs in the birds nest on our porch back home hatched…lil gemini bird babies🐣💛

[imwritesometimes]

I am once again completely losing any interest or motivation to actually write anything 🙃🙃🙃

[straykats]

i know theres a whole song about it but 22-23 feels like such a weird age to be. 18/19 made sense. 20 was like the beginning of the 20s. 21 is like. idk a big thing bc of america ig (same w 16)??? but 22-23 is so WEIRD to me like no i dont wanna turn 22 i just wanna skip to 24 (which for some reason makes more sense)

[satorusugurugurl]

You made geto sound so attractive in the leisure streamer fic esp w all the tatts and piercings and rings 😵‍💫😵‍💫 will u ever do a separate Drabble w him in the same universe? Maybe not the same reader bc I like them w gojo but w another reader who maybe works at the cafe?? You don’t have to at all, I was just wondering! 🩷🩷 you just made him soooo sexy I’m obsessed with him 😌 (also sukuna was so funny im the king of the cafe!!! 🤣)

My Boss is a Hottie!

Summary: Geto Suguru is your boss, and you want him to put you in a million different positions; of course, you’d never say that out loud until your best friend Yuki pushes you over the edge.

Pairing: Boss!Geto Suguru x AFAB!Reader

Word Count: 3,372

Warnings Language, smut, pinv, unprotected sex, creampie

A/N: JENXMDJDKDK Thank you for the request! This is set in the same universe as The Leisure Streamer is a Hottie! I love Boss Geto! 🥴 bend me over the glass display case pleas!!

You stare down at the two coffee cups placed in front of you. Your best friend, Yuki Tsukumo, is watching you, smirking as you pick up the 1st cup and take a sip. You let the flavor sit on your tongue

Before swallowing, which you regret almost instantly. The espresso is bitter, and it tastes like rag water. You take a sip of your water before picking up the second cup, taking a sip of the nutty, almost chocolatey espresso, and sliding your mouth, making your eyes roll back.

“That is your stupid instant espresso from the supermarket.” You spit out as you jab a thumb at the first cup you, unfortunately, drank from. “That right there is my sweet Colombian beans roasted to perfection.” To emphasize your point, you pick up the second cup and take another sip of the delicious liquid inside.

“Holy shit! You can tell the difference!” Yuki reaches under the counter, pulling out a large brown sack of Colombian beans she picked up for you and Geto on her latest trip.

“Of course, I can tell the difference; I work with the self-appointed king of coffee, Ryomen Sukuna. I have drunk so much espresso you would think I would be more wired than I already am.”

Yuki shakes her head, patting the bag before stretching her arms above her head. “Sure~ blame your coworker for your sudden encyclopedia knowledge of coffee.” She shoots you a knowing smirk. “It’s totally not because of the boss you want to bang.” Your cheeks flush as you choke on your espresso, winning a cackle from your friend.

“That's fucking weird shut up!”

“Oh, you shut up! I can see the way you both eye fuck each other every time you’re near one another. Do the world the fucking favor and just fuck already.”

“There is no eye-fucking going on!”

Yuki narrows her eyes and looks back at her boyfriend, Choso, who is tinkering with the air filter for Yuki’s bike. “Cho, you’ve seen them, right?” her boyfriend looks up from his project at hand, streaks of grease on his face as he puts down the tool he was working with.

“Seen what?”

“My bestie eye fucking her boss!”

“Oh,” Choso glances between you and his girlfriend, “Yeah, I've seen it.”

You groan into your hands, shaking your head. “Nothing is going on between us! I swear!” Yuki cooed, placing another bag of beans on the table for you.

“But you want there to be!”

It was true you did want to be in a relationship with your boss. But there was one singular problem. He was your fucking boss! Sure, the two of you had known each other since college. Sure, you both got wasted together at bars and had cuddled on his couch countless times. He was the soul fantasy you dreamed about when you were diddling your skittle in the comfort of your bed. But things wouldn’t work out because he was your boss.

Yuki knew you had it down bad for him. And she loved torturing the absolute hell out of you because of that. She insisted that you could make it work, but you saw it as unprofessional. Plus, Suguru was so fucking hot. There was no chance in hell he would even go for a girl like you.

“You cannot look at me and tell me you do not want to see what he’s packing in those baggy pants.”

“No, I don't.”

“You're a terrible liar.”

“And you're being a terrible friend at the moment! I cannot fuck my boss!”

Yuki’s eyes dart behind you before smirking ever so slowly. “Oooh, so you do want to!” You clench your teeth as you down the rest of the espresso. “Oh, come on, just be honest with yourself! The truth will set you free!” slamming the cup down, you glared at your beaming friend.

“Fine! You wanna know, I’ll tell you! But don't bitch to me about said details!”

“Oooh, I wouldn't never!” she holds her hand. “Scouts honor!”

“I would be all over that man all day, every day, in the kitchen, in his car, on the counter. I would be in missionary, doggy, reverse cowgirl, the lotus! I would do the whole fuckin’ Kamasutra for Geto Suguru!” Yuki nodded as you took a deep breath. “I would gladly make that man a father of three! And you know the idea of being pregnant terrifies me!”

“Oh, I know!”

“I would suck that man dry! I would give him the best fuckin’ nut of his life! God, I wanna sink my teeth into him!”

Choso walked over, tapping Yuki on the shoulder. “Sorry to interrupt the horny confessions, but I found the problem; I need to borrow you away from Geto and your bestie.” Huh, you blinked, staring at Choso, who grinned at someone behind you. “Hi, Geto.”

No, there was no way Geto was behind you! “Oh, that's a good one, Choso!” a warm hand clasped your shoulder, making every nerve in your body jolt.

“Hi, Choso.” Your boss, the man you thought of when rubbing yourself under your sheets, squeezed your shoulder—making you want to crawl under the table and scream.

“Well, this has been fun! But I got shit to do! Have a great night!” Yuki was off without another word, tugging Choso towards the back of her mechanic shop.

Geto’s hand remained on your shoulder before his other hand gently massaged you. Heat pooled between your legs as he rubbed your muscles with the right amount of pressure. That soft, constant contact had you moaning, rubbing your thighs together to alleviate the throbbing you were experiencing. Oh god, was this just him being nice? Or was this his way of conveying his feelings?

You glanced up, biting your lip. Geto Suguru was a fucking hottie. The tail of his dragon tattoo ran along his forearm, moving towards his back, where the rest of the dragon was. Suguru’s other arm was an intricate sleeve of ocean waves and cherry blossoms. The black ink matched his painted black nails kneading into your shoulders. The touch of his hand left you hot and bothered, but the chill from the rings on almost every one of his fingers was a sharp contrast. His dark eyes were narrowed his pierced brow cock as he smirked. His long, luscious dark hair was in his signature half-up, half-down style, with bangs on his face.

“I-I got your beans, boss—haaaah—” you moaned, watching his pink tongue dart out over black lip ring. “Fuck.”

“Good job.” His fingers gently inched under the collar of your t-shirt up to the first knuckle. “I appreciate you, princess.”

Your breath catches in your throat as his fingers trace your skin. They feel good, so good you don’t want it to stop. So you gulp before biting your lip. You gently grab one of his wrists and lower his hand underneath your shirt to the second knuckle. Suguru's barrow eyes widened before he chuckled breathlessly, sinking his hand further.

“Fuck—”

You gasp out as Suguru’s fingers gently trace over the top of your breasts. “So, the girls are out. They're going to have a sleepover with Nobara and Maki at their place.” His words are silky smooth, like the espresso you had just downed moments before.

“Oh? So will you and Satoru sit around and play mindless, stupid video games like always?”

“Satoru is in Sendai with my new designer artist.” Suguru’s slid his finger deeper, fuck he was so close to cupping your breast. “He told me not to wait up.”

Holy fuck, was this happening? This was a moment you had dreamed and fantasized about happening for years. Ever since you started working with Suguru at a local shop before he invested in his own, he easily convinced you to join him, as his coffee shop was a cult. The two of you were always flirting with each other; having been friends for the last two years, you would do that to anybody. But over the last few months, the flirting became less playful and more apparent that you didn’t want to be friends. You wanted to be more.

So, is this your boss's way of initiating an interaction that doesn’t revolve around work? It seemed like it. And you were going to take that hook, line, and sinker.

“Oooh, are you asking me to keep you company tonight?”

“Only if you want.” Your boss's earthy, minty smell crept up your nostrils as he leaned beside your ear. “I think I would be lying to myself if I didn’t tell you; you have me curious.”

His breath tickles your earlobe, making you rub your thighs together harder. “And what exactly is that?” Your grip tightens around his wrist, and you resist the urge to shove his whole hand down your shirt.

“I’m curious to see if you were being truthful about everything you said. If you want to do it with me all day, every day. In my kitchen, my car, on the counter back at the shop.” Wetness coats the inside of your underwear as he whispers those dirty words you had said back to you. For some reason, they sound even hotter and more vulgar coming out of his mouth. “I want to put you in missionary, doggy, reverse cowgirl. Fuck I want to try stuff, I’ve never tried with another person.” His whole hand slides under your shirt, cupping your breast. “I say we buy a copy of the Kamasutra. We try every fucking position in there.”

“F-Fuuck.”

“So what do you say, Princess? Should we take this back to my place?” His teeth take your earlobe between his teeth, making you gasp as you arch your back. “Are you going to give me the best fuckin’ nut of my life?”

“Oh~ you bet your ass I am.”

Your boss chuckles deeply into your ear, releasing the sensitive lobe from his mouth. “Hit me with your best shot, Princess.”

Suguru regrets those words an hour later as you lower yourself slowly, backing up on his cock, as your bent over the empty glass display case in the shop. You had not given him the best nut of his life not once but twice so far. Once with your delightful, talented mouth and the second from you just grinding on him. He felt like a fucking teenager, and goddamnit, he fucking loved it.

There was some enchantment about you. You always drew him like a moth to the flame. Whenever you were, he knew it would be a great day. You were like his personal ray of sunshine, brightening his day wherever he went. Everyone teased him at the shop, asking him if he was going on a date with you, and you both were strictly on business. But lo and behold, he wanted to take you out on a date. He couldn’t bring up the courage to ask you.

It was hard enough for him to ask you to leave your job at the coffee shop you both met at to join him on an adventure of opening his shop. He thought he would say, but you agreed. He felt that there might be something there between you. That was both exciting to explore but also terrifying at the same time.

Now here you both were, your face pressed against the glass display case, with his cock buried deep inside of you, stretching you out with his fat cock. Suguru can’t help but grab your waist, squeezing it gently, savoring the moment. It wasn’t like he would let this be a one-time thing. He had just purchased the Kamasutra, which would be delivered the following day. This was the beginning of a very long and satisfying relationship. One that had started with friendship and was now turning into something more.

“Haaah fuck~ fuuuck baby.” Suguru groans, pressing you further against the glass case, watching as it fogged up with your heavy panting. “You have no idea how many times I’ve jerked off thinking about this.”

“Nnnhh,” you turn your head, looking back at him with a smirk. “Fuck~ I could say the same thing about me. Is that way you would have such long meetings in your office with nobody?”

Suguru pulls out, his eyes glancing down at the cock wet with your spit and arousal. “Yeah, it is.” He shoved all the way back inside of you, making you yelp. “Is that way you’re always late returning from your lunch break? Don’t tell me you’ve been rubbing that pretty little clit in your car.”

Your palms press against the cool chill of the glass underneath you. “Rubbing it~? Oooh no, but I do put my vibrator on it.” Suguru’s grip on your waist tightens as he groans out with a huff from behind you.

“You’re so fucking hot. Is that why you didn’t let me in your glove box that one time? You keep an emergency vibrator in there when you come to work?” His cock begins sliding in and out of your tight walls hugging him snuggly with each jerk of his hips.

“Oh~ I’m cumming alright.”

Suguru’s hips buckled, eyes going wide before he growled, shoving himself deeper inside of you, forcing your hips back. Being filled to the brim made your eyes widen as you hissed out a whine through your teeth. His thick pulled out before slamming back into you with such force your fingers grabbed the edge of the cool counter.

“God, you're such a dirty girl. I fucking love it!” He growled, snapping his lips forward, pushing you harder into the glass. “Next time you get all hot and bothered, come see me~ I’ll fuck you so good.” He leaned his head down, humping slowly against your ass with slow thrusts that hit every sweet spot inside of you. “You could even bring your vibrator~” his teeth snapped gently, tugging at your ear.

“Holy—” your eyes rolled back as Suguru’s hips had your clit rubbing against the smooth glass. “I-I’m dirty~ listen to—hnnngh!” His teeth tugged at your earlobe, silencing your retort. “Oh my god~! Ooooh, my fucking god Sugu!” You rocked yourself back against him, his kisses and nips at your sensitive ear and neck driving you mad.

A shaky chuckle sounded from your boss, “You’re sensitive, aren’t you, princess~?” You answered with an eager whimper and nod before looking back at him.

His tongue ran over his lip piercing as his ring-covered fingers slipped down, groping the fat of your ass. The cool metal, the way his slick cock slid in and out of you faster and harder, had your eyes rolling back as your walls tightened around his cock. Suguru growled; one of his eyes twitched slightly as your walls tightened around him, squeezing his cock with almost pained pleasure. He was drowning in you and your tight cunt.

Suguru pressed his whole body against your back, bucking into you; his thrusts were hard and fast, pushing you closer to your release. Suguru’s hands slammed on either side of your head, keeping himself up not wholly to crush you under his weight. His right hand slid up, covering yours with his own, his fingers intertwined with yours, holding your hand as he fucked his cock deeper into you.

“S-Sugu~!” You cried out, turning your head to meet his. “Suguru~!”

His lips caught yours, kissing you as he squeezed your hand tight, his hips buckling as he felt you getting closer and closer. Your walls hugged him, making you squeak as he shoved his tongue into your mouth. The chill of his piercing against your lips and his tongue wrestling yours for control had your eyes shut tight as you squeezed his hand back.

“Oh~ fuck- mmmm—“ Suguru’s orgasm was fast approaching, his once well-patterned thrusts becoming messy and frantic. “Fuck—cum with me, please, Princess.”

You kissed him harder, gasping against his lips, breathing hard. “Gonna cum~ Suguru harder~ harder!” Your grip on his hand is almost crushing as he does exactly as you ask. His hips bucking yours as hard as he can the display case, shaking under each frantic thrust. Your eyes shut tight as Suguru rests his mouth against your cheek, moaning as loudly as you were. His breath is hot, and his dress is messy, and you can’t stop it from happening. “C-Cumming!” You scream as your walls convulse around his cock, squeezing the loving life out of him.

“Fuck!” Suguru hisses out. “Haaah~ ooooh! Fuck that’s right cum on my cock. He whispered against your cheek as pleasured cries filled the room. “Yeah~ yeah fuck~ gonna cum~ you want it?” All you can do is scream out, nodding, legs shaking as your orgasm keeps rocking through you. That is what has your boss’ balls slapping against your clit as he fucks himself into his orgasm. “N-Nnngh!” Suguru's face presses harder against yours as his cock throbs with every spurt of cum he thrusts into you.

You blinked slowly, humming happily as Suguru stayed buried inside of you, his lips finding yours in a gentle kiss. This was everything you wanted, and more, like your dream, finally came true. Suguru sighed, nuzzling his face in your neck as his heart rate slowed.

“Remind me to thank Yuki for pushing your buttons the next time I see her.”

“Heh~ you and me both.” You wince as Suguru slowly pulls out of you, his hand sliding your hips to help steady you as you stand up. “Fuuuck, that was amazing.”

“Mhmm, you’re amazing.” Suguru wraps his arms around your waist. “Would you be opposed to round three in the shower? That way, I can thoroughly clean you up~”

Your arms snake around his neck as you bite down on your bottom lip. “I would not be opposed to that at all.” Suguru leans down, his lips inches from your own, as a chime sounds above you. Both your eyes go wide as you listen to stomping through the kitchen. Nanami storms through the back, his eyes dark with anger. The anger is displayed as Suguru struggles to pull his pants up while you shakily hide behind him as Nanami looks towards you both.

“Nanami! Turn around!”

“Oh, god, sorry!” Nanami flushed, turning away, giving you and Suguru a chance to readjust your clothing. “I-I didn't see anything! Sorry, I was looking for my idiot client!”

“He hasn’t come home yet,” Suguru says, clearing his throat and brushing his hair out of his face. “He was staying the night in Sendai.”

You peek at your blonde friend, blinking as he clenches his fists with a growl. “And he’s not answering my texts or calls!” What could be so crucial that Nanami needed to talk to Gojo at midnight?

“Did something happen?” You ask, wobbling on your jello legs as Suguru sprays disinfectant on the counter you just fucked on. “Did he say something stupid again, and you need to do crowd control?”

Nanami turns to gawk at you as Suguru wipes the display case clean. “You haven’t seen it?”

“Seen what?”

Nanami sighs, pulling up his phone and showing you both the screen. The number one trending headline on Twitter is Gojo Satoru, the headline: Popular Leisure Streamer Checks into a Love Hotel with His Girlfriend!” Underneath the article was a photo of a beautiful girl and Satoru at a receptionist's desk.

“Oooh shit.” You whisper, covering your mouth with your hand as you giggle. “Where’s his mask?!”

“My thoughts exactly!” Nanami snapped, dialing what you assumed was Gojo’s number again. “Geto, I hope you’re not too attached to him because I will obliterate him.”

Suguru sent a quick text before wrapping an arm around you. “I’ll miss him, but as long as my princess is by my side, I’ll live.” You beamed up at your boss, who was now much more to you. Fuck thanking Yuki; you needed to get her a gift basket.

Forever Tag List:

@darkstarlight82 @pandoness @nealeart @simp-plague @sugurubabe @chilichopsticks

[rucow]

recorded a D4 pitch for the new vb and :') a bit worrying how half this voicebank sounds feminine and Normal but then the other half is just. Deep

[starlitmelanin]

she tries to get over her crush on her childhood best friend jude by trying to set him up with other people. recipe for disaster, actually.🥴

no good deed | jude bellingham

pairing - jude x fem!reader

word count - 1.1k

warnings - none

it starts with lily.

lily is near perfect. she's smart, funny, doesn’t have the slightest clue about football — but, she’s sweet enough.

you figure, if you can get jude to fall for someone like lily, you can convince your heart to calm the hell down. you're not sure of the logic there, but it makes sense at 2 am when you're staring at the ceiling, wondering why you're such an idiot.

"hey jude," you say one evening, as he jumps to sit on your bathroom counter, while you do your skin care routine before bed. "what do you think about lily?"

he looks at you, eyebrows raised. "lily? she's cool, i guess. why?"

you try to sound casual. "i dunno, just thought you two might get along."

he shrugs. "maybe. but i'm not really looking for anything right now, you know?"

you nod, pretending like that doesn't make your heart do a stupid little flip. of course, he's not looking for anything. he's focused on his career, on being the best. it's one of the things you love about him. dammit.

but you're not one to give up easily. next, you try suggesting clara. clara, who's a bit of a wild card but has this infectious energy that you think might be good for jude. plus, she's been eyeing him for months.

"clara asked about you the other day," you say nonchalantly while you're at a party.

jude glances over at her, then back at you. "clara? really?"

"yeah. i think she likes you."

he laughs, shaking his head. "she's fun and all, but not really my type."

you swallow your frustration. "what is your type then?"

he looks thoughtful for a moment, then shrugs. "dunno. someone who gets me, i guess. someone i can just... be myself with."

you know he's talking about you. you know he is. but you also know he doesn't see you that way. it's like some cosmic joke.

weeks pass, and you keep trying. each time, he's polite, he's interested, but it never goes anywhere. part of you is relieved, but another part is just tired. why can't you just tell him how you feel? why are you such a coward?

one evening, you're both sitting on his couch, some mindless tv show playing in the background. you've given up on the whole setting-him-up-with-someone-else thing, and he seems to sense your frustration.

"you've been weird lately," he says, nudging you with his shoulder. "what's going on?"

you laugh, but it's hollow. "nothing. just... life."

he doesn't buy it. "come on, we've known each other forever. you can tell me."

and that's the problem, isn't it? you can't tell him. you can't tell him that every time he smiles at you, it feels like the sun is shining just for you. you can't tell him that every time he dates someone new, it feels like someone's twisting a knife in your gut. you can't tell him that you're so stupidly, hopelessly in love with him that you can't even see straight.

instead, you say, "it's just... complicated."

he looks at you for a long moment, and you wonder if maybe he knows. if maybe he's always known. but then he smiles, and it's the same smile he's given you a thousand times, and you realise he doesn't. he has no idea.

"well, whatever it is," he says, "you know i'm here for you, right?"

and that's what breaks you. because he is there for you. he's always been there for you. and you're so tired of pretending. so tired of lying to yourself.

"yeah," you whisper. "i know."

you leave early that night, making some excuse about needing to get up early. he looks disappointed, but he doesn't push. you're grateful for that.

back at home, you stare at your reflection in the mirror. you look the same as always, but everything feels different. you can't keep doing this to yourself. you can't keep tearing yourself apart for someone who will never see you the way you want him to.

so you make a decision. you're going to tell him. you're going to lay it all out, consequences be damned. you'd rather have the truth out there, even if it means losing him, than keep living this half-life.

the next day, you call him. "can we talk?"

he senses the seriousness in your tone and agrees immediately. you meet at some secluded park, the same park where you grew up together. it feels fitting, somehow.

"what's up?" he asks, concern etched on his face.

you take a deep breath. "i need to tell you something. and i need you to just... listen."

he nods, eyebrows furrowed and attentive.

"i've been in love with you," you start, your voice trembling. "for as long as i can remember. and i tried to ignore it, tried to set you up with other people, tried to do anything to stop feeling this way. but it's not working. and i can't keep pretending."

his face is unreadable, and you feel your heart pounding in your chest. you brace yourself for rejection, for the inevitable awkwardness that will follow.

but then he steps closer, his eyes never leaving yours. "you idiot," he says softly. "why didn't you tell me sooner?"

you blink, stunned. "what?"

he takes your hands in his, and you feel your breath hitch. "i've been in love with you too. but i thought you just saw me as a friend. i didn't want to mess things up."

you stare at him, unable to process his words. "you... what?"

he laughs, and it's the most beautiful sound you've ever heard. "yeah. all this time, i've been waiting for the right moment. i guess we're both idiots, huh?"

you laugh too, a mixture of relief and disbelief flooding through you. "i guess so."

he pulls you into a hug, and you feel like you're finally home. all the pain, all the frustration, it melts away in his arms.

"so," he murmurs, his breath warm against your ear. "what now?"

you smile, pulling back to look at him. "now, we stop being idiots and see where this goes."

he grins, and it's like the sun is shining just for you. "sounds like a plan."

and for the first time in a long time, you feel like everything is going to be okay. because sometimes, the person you've been searching for has been right there all along.

[urhoneycombwitch]

cont. of the porno ask: that was my thought too was that it's a gamble because sometimes they're just silly and stupid but sometimes it's actually really hot and the sex is more distracting than the plot and y'all gotta do the awkward 'haha this is so stupid let's turn it off 😅' while horny as fuck and also renting out the tape on your own time. I think it's weird the first it happens and y'all swear off watching together for a while just sticking with regular movies and then y'all find stupid ones again until another hot one comes up and you just gotta be like 🤷🏻 it's already weird we're watching porn together so what if we gotta jerk off?

Um….. 🥴😵‍💫💫😵

+18 mdni

Eddie’s gleaming in the soft glow of the tv. The volume is on low- you learned about three tapes in to this while setup that hearing each other was way hotter than hearing the fake moans on the porno.

the sound of his slick fist hitting the base of his dick with each thrust. your soft moans as you trace your nipples through your shirt, hand moving furiously beneath your grey sweatpants.

you’re still shy enough to wear bottoms (it’s okay, he’ll work you up to it. he’s playing the long game.) but your eyes roam hungrily over Eddie’s naked cock: reflective with his saliva and precum, head drooling and pink beneath each upstroke of his fist.

“this is okay, right, sweetheart?” he asks, head lolling against the back of the couch to look at you.

he knows you’re going to give him eye contact to answer. he kind of gets off on it, at this point.

you look at him. pinch in the eyebrows giving away how close you are. Eddie drinks it all in, and as you whisper- “Eddie-” his thighs are clenching in response, tamping down his own release to say-

“yeah. I’m here. say my name when you come, baby. make it a good one.”

[felassan]

Snippets 🐺💜

Users report that pre-orders they made to TFAW of the DA:TV artbook The Art of Dragon Age: The Veilguard have been cancelled (since its listings were taken down like Dark Horse's were)

Blair: "The Shadow Dragons have some great black leather combos, less feathers though." [source]. shrl: "The Mourn Watch have leather and skulls." [source]

John: "it's been a pleasure and an honor working on this with you Brian" [source]. Brian: "The feeling is mutual." [source]. Trick: "It's been amazing watching it all come together, and I am so grateful for everything you've done to make that happen." [source]

John: "the day this game ships is the day i will finally retire the sleeved blanket i bought back in 2019" [source]

John: "the wildest thing about being creative director is that about once every two weeks someone says 'hey this bizarre thing here is part of your job can you do it'. and it is a thing that you KNEW someone did but you never thought about which someone. congratulations, you are that someone" [source]

User: "The Evanuris are banished forever, he says. 👀". Trick: "Forever-ish" [source]

John: "me: it’s weird how a lot of fans think I hate Solas, it’s absolutely wild. also me: I should photoshop Solas into the ‘we demand to be taken seriously’ picture" [source]

Carly: "i can see the light at the end of the tunnel, everyone,,,, s o o n 🥴" [source]. / "I honestly can’t wait til we share more !" [source]. / User: "do you ever look at people’s reactions and theories on here like 🙂‍↔️ you people have no idea what’s coming". Carly: "Oh absolutely lmaooo" [source]

Carly: "I deleted it but I posted in our slack like “pls just tell them smtg, the clowns make me sad ):” lolol" [source]. (note: fans have been joking around and calling themselves clowns hhh, in the age-old tradition of DA clowning) "this is me empathizing and feeling bad we aren’t giving as much info (altho epler be goin off), rereading it sounds like I’m going *points* look at how pathetic those clowns are lol" [source]. / "its like we can finally yell about our work but only in limited quantities and basically at the same time fans find out things lolol oh ya and the ea snipers" [source]

Violet: "I might be screaming into the wind, but there's nothing underhanded going on. Release date is coming in August like we already said (so very soon)" / "roadmap will be very soon with some nuggets of what will be coming in August." [source: the official BioWare Discord]

Violet: "I made the announcement [in the Discord about Edge magazine's article], and it's kinda damned if you do, damned if you dont. If you do, people that ONLY want the biggest beats get mad. If you don't, people that want any scrap of news get mad. Personally, I think going towards the latter is better overall. But I'm sorry it wasn't what you expected. I am also a DA fan and care enormously about this project." [source: the official BioWare Discord]

User: "How do we all think the companions for Veilguard flirt?". Violet: "depends on the companion fsfs" [source: the official BioWare Discord]

Violet: "soon™️" / "(not trying to be a shit, it will be soon! its a holdover joke from my last studio, i have to put the ™️ every time, its a sickness)" / "real talk, im just as feral as you guys when it comes to DA" / "[re: John being aware of a meme] that doesnt surprise me, [John] gets around 👀" [source: the official BioWare Discord]

[ciderjacks]

Do you have any tips for drawing those intense emotions you put on Chilchuck comics? They're so amazing

Hopefully this is helpful!! I struggle with explaining things so initially all I could think of was “I just feel whatever he’s feeling…. 🤓🥴” which is technically true but it also sounds pretentious as shit and makes literally no sense to anyone who isn’t me. My other tip that isn’t really included here is to just exaggerate as much as you can. For the sort of nightmare comics I do, I really try to slap the audience with whatever the emotion is that I’m trying to portray. Squash their face if they’re happy, stretch it if they’re scared, yk. Like, You think that brow is furrowed enough? It’s not. Push it down further. Don’t be afraid of character’s expressions looking “ugly” or weird.

[lizthewriter]

i know you are a stargirl / billy loomis

PAIRING  billy loomis x fem!reader

SUMMARY  billy spends the entire next day teasing you, watching you with those kind of eyes. he finds a way to apologize to you, by giving you exactly what you need: pleasure and relief. part 1.

TAGS  billy loomis x fem!reader, smut, dom!billy, sub!reader, dacryphilia, cunniligus, cum eating, billy likes to order you around, body worship, slight angst, if you squint, billy becomes soft!dom billy halfway through, originally planning on making some kinky shit but suddenly this transforms into soft smut???, whatever we ball

QUOTE  "i shouldn't cry, but i love it, starboy," - stargirl interlude by the weeknd, feat. lana del rey

WORD COUNT  2.8K

WRITTEN  11.24.2023

A/N  i'm gone 😵🥴 anyways, first REAL smut, hope you like it anon 🤭🤭 17+

You knew he was teasing you - you knew. All he had done the entire fucking day was stare at you with those hungry, brown eyes as though he were devouring you with them. It was hard not to steal glances his way and it was hard to pretend as though you weren't. Even when he picked you up before school, he just had to massage your thigh the entire car ride.

After your last class of the day, he met you by your locker. Of course, he acted all gentleman-like and pretended as though he hadn't been eye-fucking you all day. He carried your bag for you as you both made your way towards his car. He opened and closed the door for you, gently placing the book bag near your feet.

"How was your day?" He asked as he started the car, backing out of the parking space. His hand was thrown around the front seat, his fingers tickling your neck. You hated the sound of his voice - so smooth and sultry, so captivating. You had to press your legs together and look out the window to keep yourself distracted.

"It was good," you responded without any elaboration. He put the car back into drive and soon enough, you were out of the school parking lot and on the high road. It takes you a minute to realize that he was going in the wrong direction - he had to take a left out of the parking lot to get back to your place, not a right. "Billy, you're going the wrong way. My house is back there." You pointed back where you came from.

"We're not going to your place," he responded, twisting the dial on his sound system. Rock blared through the speakers, but he quickly turned it down to a much more tolerable level. "Sorry, Stu's station . . . no, we're going to my place."

His place? Your obvious shock could be seen on your face, judging by the way Billy laughed. "Yeah, Dad's out of town. We've got the whole place to ourselves." A blush painted your face a sweet cherry red. Billy had never brought you round his place, for good reason. He and his father had a rather complicated relationship . . . a difficult home life. You would say he had never taken you over out of embarrassment, shame, or some sort of protectiveness but you always couldn't help but feel as though he didn't trust you to come over. No one but you and Stu knew even the smallest inklings of Billy's personal life. He had always been rather reserved and again, he had a reputation to uphold.

But now? Knowing that he trusted you enough to bring you round? That he was finally putting in some godamned effort into your relationship? You felt more turned on then before.

It took you a moment to realize that he had called your name quite a few times. "What do you think?" He asked. His demeanor seemed nonchalant, but there was that undertone of nervousness in his voice.

You finally turned back towards him - his eyes turned away from the road, just for a moment, to look at you. You bit your bottom lip, a smile growing on your face. It was infectious, spreading to Billy as well. "Sounds good," you responded with a nod.

The rest of the car ride was silent. It wasn't awkward, it wasn't weird. Often, you two found yourselves in a comfortable sort of quiet, one where you appreciate the other's prescene. You watched great big houses and fields of grass fly past your window - Billy still had his arm swung around you from before. You leaned your cheek into his hand, smiling.

When you had gotten to his house, you had to do a double take. You weren't sure what you were expecting, but it was a house just like Stu's. Great and big and beautiful, with a blossoming garden and a freshly mown lawn. He opened the door to his house for you and you entered, slipping off your shoes and placing your bag on a stool by the coat hanger.

"Home sweet home," Billy said, in a tone half-sarcastic. He placed his shoes neatly next to yours and encouraged you to let loose, follow him inside. "Do you want a drink? Something to eat?"

You walked together down a hall and into a spacious, rustic kitchen. "No, I'm not very hungry . . ." You weren't sure what else to say - Billy hadn't opted to fill the silence either. And here was the other side of the flip coin. The tense silence. A quiet that haunts you during the day, one where you both know exactly what you want, except . . . he does nothing.

Billy leans against the marble countertop of the island and you stop in front of him, unsure of what to do or say. He watches you intently, waiting for you to speak.

"Your house is, uh . . . really beautiful," you said, in an attempt to make conversation. He stands there and says nothing. "I'm glad you invited me over." The silence finally gets to you. "Are you gonna say something?"

He pushes himself off the counter and placed his hands on your waist. "I'm glad I invited you over too, sweetheart." The way he talks, the way he moves, it's like he knows exactly what he's doing to you. It's like he's trying to get you antsy and desperate. All right, well if that's the game he wants to play then two can tango.

You smile innocently at him, leaning forward to press a not-so-chaste kiss to his cheek. When you pull away, your lips linger not a centimeter from his skin. Your breath is hot and heavy and your eyes flicker towards his. "I think I'm starting to get hungry now," you whisper softly, pulling away from him. You slip easily out of his loosened grip on your waist and make your way over to the fridge. "Anything good in here?" You ask, leaning in as though scanning the inventory.

"Unless you want a ketchup, mustard, and pickle sandwich, I'm afraid we're just going to have to order in." You tried to keep your breathing steady as he hovers close behind you, too close. Slowly, you close the door and turn around to face him. He bows your head to look down at you, and you feel much more like the prey to his predator rather than the key to his heart.

You want control of the situation. "So, what should we do? Watch a movie or-"

You don't have enough time to finish before he plants a hand on the refrigerator door beside you. Internally, you smirk - he had been trying to get you worked up, yet now you've done exactly that to him. "I didn't invite you over to watch a movie," he whispered. The air of tension grew so thick, it was like a snake that wrapped around your throat and kept you in a chokehold. "And I think you know that."

A smirk grew on his face as your innocent expression fell - well shit. He brings up his hand and trails his index finger down your cheek, along the vein of your neck, and down your side. You shiver with anticipation and squeeze your thighs together, none of which escapes his notice. "Don't think I don't see you, pretty girl, I see you."

"Billy . . ."

"Remember what I told you last night?" You felt a rush of heat in your cheeks. "Say it."

You felt embarrassed and cornered. His hand finally stopped moving, resting on your hip. It felt like it was meant to be there, like there was a Billy-sized hole in your heart that needed to be filled by his touches, by his kisses . . . He leaned in close, pressing his lips to the edge of your hairline by your ear. "Say it," he said, something that sounded much more like a command than a request.

"Billy," you started, your breath becoming shallow. Meeting his eyes only sent that pang to your lower abdomen - you practically moaned where you stood. He was so close and you could feel the want spilling off of his skin, a poisonous gas intoxicating you. "I want you to fuck me."

That was all he needed. Soon enough, he was clawing at your skin while his lips smashed into yours with desperation. He needed to feel every inch of your skin, he needed to show you that you were his, and more importantly, he was yours. His tounge slipped past your lips, causing you to gasp and lean into him. He swirled his tounge around your own and wrapped the arm that had been planted above you around your waist. He pulled you into him so that your breasts were pressed against his chest and your head was tilted all the way back to meet his lips.

"Mm, missed the sweet taste of your lips sweetheart," he murmured into your mouth, his other hand coming up to grope your breast. He gave it a gentle squeeze and then swiped his finger over your nipple, causing it to grow erect under his hand. You let out a desperate whimper, kissing him with more hunger, applying so much force that you can feel your teeth clash. When he pulls away, a laugh rumbles through his chest. "Seems you feel the same way." He pauses, his eyes following the length of your body so leisurely that you were beginning to grow impatient. "Get on the counter."

You grin and eagerly jump onto the kitchen island, facing Billy, who currently stands between your legs. "I missed you," you told him, with some honesty. You did, you really did, even if he was being a jerkface. A knowing expression replaced your sentimental one, your fingers beginning to toy with the waistband of his jeans. "I missed this."

He presses another kiss to your lips, that devilish smirk still haunting his face. "Lie down, slowly."

He places his hand behind your head, helping you lay back on the cool counter. You hiss softly as the chill touches your bare arms - Billy simply shushes you and plants wet kisses along your neck. One of your hands tangles in his hair while the other grips the countertop as you lean your head away from him, presenting him with more of your neck. "I'm sorry for being such a dick . . . for being so fucking stupid."

"It's okay -"

"It's not," he responds sharply, pulling away from your neck to meet your eyes with a glare as firm as iron. "I was an asshole. What I did wasn't 'okay.' You don't have to forgive me. But I want to show you that I do care for you, that I do . . ." He glanced down at the ground. "I do - love you." The way he said it was tense and hesitant, but not because he was trying to force it, but because it was so hard for him to say.

Your expression softens and you gently tilt his chin up so that you could see him. The lust in his eyes was momentarily gone, replaced by something much more loving. You press your lips gently to his, clutching his face with need. "I know you do baby, I love you too." You knew it was hard for him to be soft and affectionate, but there were times like these - very rare times, you might add - where he opened up to you. Just a little. It made you feel infinitely special. You wanted him to know you felt the same way. "I'm so proud of you. I love you so much."

He leaned towards your hand as you brushed your fingers through his hair with a lovingness that only you could provide him. He his chest tighten - I'm so proud of you. Even though Stu had always stuck by his side through thick and thin, you were the one who showed you love. The only person who ever had, anyways. He wanted to show you his appreciation, he wanted to make you feel good.

He slowly pulled himself away from you - you looked confused for a moment, but not for long. Billy gently lifted your skirt with his fingers peeking beneath. You felt heat rush to where you wanted him to touch you oh-so-badly, a reminder of the sinful activities you were up to only a moment ago. "Pretty," he mumbled. It wasn't long before he was gently pulling your legs up and over his shoulders, peeling off your panties by lifting each leg. He placed them on the counter next to you and lowered himself to your bare heat.

"Billy," you said breathlessly, silent as you had watched him.

"It's okay," he assured you, not removing his eyes from where they had strayed. "Just gonna make you feel good." He dove down, pressing kisses up your inner thighs as preparation. Not that you needed any, you were already wet and ready for him.

You let out a gasp, your chest rising off the counter at his first lick. He savored the way you reacted to him, so sensitive, so delicate, so beautiful. He wanted to hear more, to taste more.

He started to lap at your cunt, nose brushing against your clip with every motion. In an instant, you were a moaning mess - your hands tugging on his hair, your back arching off the counter, your head lolling to the sides. He was unrelenting, giving you exactly what you wanted, where you wanted it. His name stumbled out of your mouth, repeating it like a prayer to a higher power.

Your scent, your taste, had his mind going hazy. He could feel the tightness in his pants but he was doing his best to ignore it. Today was going to be all about you. His tounge explored every inch of your clit, the way his mouth moved along your heat growing more and more messy. Until his cheeks were covered in your slick and his pupils were so dilated, his eyes were almost black. You whined, tears pricking at the corners of your eyes and clouding your vision. When he got a good look at you all undone, just for him, it only encouraged him more.

"My pretty girl," he mumbled in a daze, slowly inserting a finger and shutting his eyes as he felt you clench around him.

"Billy . . . hngh! Billy, please . . . more."

"You sound beautiful." Slowly, he began to pump his finger, in and out, in and out. He watched as your daze grew, until your eyes were blown out and drool was leaking from the corner of your lips. "So beautiful." He adds another finger, much to your pleasure. A sheen of sweat gathers on your forehead, making you shine like a goddess.

He finally pulls away from your cunt pressing forward so that your thighs are now pressed against your chest and the two of you are face to face. You look at him through half-hooded eyes and you look lost, yet like you're exactly where you should be. "I love you. I promise I'll be better. I promise. You're - you're the only good thing in my life. You keep me in check. You care for me. You show me what love really means. I need you."

You let out a whimper as he begins to increase his pace. "Baby," you whine, your head rocking back and forth but your eyes never straying from his. Billy's words, the position your in, the way he's moving inside of you - you can feel the tension build up in your lower abdomen. "I love you too, so so - oh God - so much!"

He can feel himself twitch at the way your voice jumps an octave, your head flying back with tightly closed eyes. Gasps and curses flew out of your mouth, so vulgar, yet mixed with his name and loving, but broken sentences, so sweet. "You're close," he mumbled.

"Mhm, please, baby! Pleasepleaseplease."

He finally adds a third finger, upping his pace as much as he can to give you the most pleasure. He pressed kisses to as much of your exposed skin as he can, drinking in the way you meal and squirm. "Come for me, sweetheart, it's okay."

You let out a moan and your body twitches as relief floods through your system, your orgasm flowing through your veins. "I know, I know," he says softly, brushing your hair from your face. "You okay?"

You breath heavily, waiting a moment or two to come down from your high. "You were . . . amazing." A breathless laugh leaves your mouth. You tilt your head so that you can look at him properly, raising a hand to cup his cheek. "I'm so glad you came back to me."

He closes his eyes, chest fluttering as he takes in a breath. "Me too, sweetheart. Me too."

[weebsinstash]

I'm sorry but I'm going insane for your idea of Lilith and Luci getting a sinner pregnant together can we please have more of your thoughts on this idea 🙏

Absolutely because I'm a dirty little heathen and Season 2 isn't just about to magically pop up out of the ground and I've had SOME THOUGHTS and also this post is way longer than it should be 💀

I was sitting and I was thinking of the concept of the Hotel having communal breakfasts or having at least one day of the week where there's food served and everyone (typically) eats together, not only as a bonding/unity sort of thing but also simular to how real hotels can have complimentary breakfast as part of your stay, and like, yeesh this is actually an entirely separate fic idea in of itself but you're talking with Alastor and you're saying something along the lines of "oh yeah, well, I was actually starting to think a lot about motherhood before I died, but, raising children is so complicated, not to mention society right now is so genuinely hostile and dangerous to children, and i wouldn't have been able to afford it anyways, and, well, you know, NOW i literally can't have them down here"

AND FROM THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE END OF THE TABLE

COMPLETELY UNPROMPTED

HERE'S LILITH, "Oh! It wouldn't be impossible at all! You and Lucifer could still have a baby :)"

RECORD SCRATCH SOUND EFFECT AS EVERYONE LOOKS TO THE QUEEN OF HELL. She seems completely unbothered while her husband is A TOMATO, he can barely even look in your direction, he's just tugging on her sleeve, "L-Lili, cmon, don't say things like that 😳🥴" and awkwardly laughing, maybe even asking to speak to his wife in private (I feel like its a regular occurrence for these two to dip out of a room and reappear and Lilith is reapplying her lipstick as she re-enters followed by a kiss covered Lucifer lmao)

Can you even imagine going to Charlie, "hey um, this is awkward, your mom keeps like. Jesus please don't kill me I'm not a homewrecker but your mom keeps making comments about me having a baby with your dad and she sounds completely serious about it and shes been bringing it up for like two weeks" and you could not be saying this in a more obvious "hey girl this is weird and I don't like it, can you chat with your parents for me to stop this" kind of way BUT, the actual way Charlie is responding ALSO THROWS YOU OFF. I can see it already, Charlie all but LIGHTS UP WITH EXCITEMENT and she, takes a breath, "oh!! I mean!! You don't have to do anything you don't want to obviously, bbBUT UH THAT BEING SAID oh gosh that sounds like it would make you really happy, aaaaand and I know you wanted a family of your own and, hey isn't this place about new beginnings and" GIRL WE AREN'T HAVING A BABY WITH YOUR DAD TF?

You know how I made that post "hey Lucifer kind of appears to have these vague Master Of All type powers down in Hell, what if he could manipulate your dreams and made you dream about being a kid because he's wanting to heal your inner child/adopt you". I also started thinking recently about Lucifer AND OR Lilith using these powers to make you dream about 1) being with them in general and more specifically 2) motherhood and i started mentally deep diving for that shit. Like. It could genuinely actually get so fucked up actually. Could you imagine you're just, VULNERABLE with the Queen of Hell and you're drunk and you're crying and you're just, SPILLING EVERYTHING, she's getting your entire life's story, and she's petting your hair as youre way too drunk to realize youre telling her way too much, amd she's just thinking "oh you poor thing, human society sounds absolutely dreadful now" and like. Think of it from a hypothetical fantasy psychology perspective. It's not like Lilith has never been part of modern society, she's been a member of Hell forever and has only been out of contact for 7 years, BUT she also exists from a time predating all of that AND she built Hell with Lucifer, so like, imagine she actually starts forming some um Strong Opinions on how, it sounds like all these complicated modern things are really dragging you down, both as a person and as a free spirit, and comes to a consensus that your life needs to be a little... simpler

I'm serious, I'm talking "Lilith makes you dream about being In The Actual Goddamn Garden Of Eden Itself with her and Lucifer and you're ALL naked". Just completely controlling your dream. You're naked as the day you were born and so are they and you can't control your dream at ALL. Lilith is wanting to like, watch you peacefully frolic around, I'm talking she wants to see you having your Hot Nymph Summer where you're napping in beds of flowers and you're having birds land on your finger and you're gasping at all the pretty flowers and wanting to explore and, experiencing the beauty of being alive without all these messy modern nuances and it's like NO MAAM I DONT WANT TO PICK BERRIES FROM THAT BUSH, YOU CAN SEE M Y BUSH AND I CAN SEE YOURS AND YOUR HUSBANDS---

Alastor is over here thinking he's hot shit, "oh I do so wish we could return to simpler times without all these modern trivial problems!!" MEANWHILE LILITH IS LIKE. ACTUALLY GOING THAT EXTRA MILE. Alastor is like "boo cellphones are bad and women dont dress modestly enough, people these days spend too mych time with technology and not with family" meanwhile in "the garden" a completely naked Lilith is braiding your hair and weaving flowers into it while an also completely naked Lucifer is feeding you berries by hand as they discuss the idea of having a nice fun swim in the lake passed the glade, like you guys really are frolicking and fucking around like a bunch of fairies and it's. It's peaceful and fun but also you miss your cellphone and having underwear 😩 like miss queen of hell can I PLEASE get some boob support--

Moving on, I was thinking of the Fake Garden in of itself, as its own idea, but like in this poly baby raising context, it would be essentially Phase 1 of the plan to normalize their presences to you and make you more comfortable around them and then skipping into Phase 10 of "oh hey by the way you're gonna have a dream about um sleeping with the King and Queen of Hell and it's Totally Not Real and you're Totally Definitely Not Actually Like For Real For Real Legitimately Pregnant Now ;)" like. First off before I get any farther in this post can we just like acknowledge the like HEINOUSNESS of you not knowing everything is "real dreams" and LiliLuci using this to their full advantage to ask and find out anything about you because basically to them, they think you're just being boggled down and negatively influences by modern human society and you're like an onion they have to peel some layers off of first to expose those juicy inner tender bits

Just. Ok. Like. High level fantasy horror concept ok, here we go I'm gonna cook here:

It eventually does move on to you having dreams about living in an actual home with Lucifer and Lilith, sleeping with them in you know, All Those Ways, basically in what you think is some weird imaginary throuple that while you do find yourself enjoying it like actually, you can't wake up from it, and these dreams can feel WAY too long sometimes. You're dreaming of some, "am I a man dreaming I am a butterfly or am I a butterfly dreaming i am a man" shit where you hit the pillow in Hell and Dream You is waking up, seeing your husband and wife get ready for work and you're basically a pampered stay at home spouse. I honestly can't decide what dynamic would be cuter: both of them having jobs, you and Lilith having jobs while Lucifer is the house husband, only Lilith having a job while you and Lucifer do dumb shit at home, or Lucifer being big daddy and bringing home all the money while you and Lilith lounge by the pool and she takes you to the spa and pampers you all day and is sending texts and photos of how cute you are to her husband while he's working

You're probably thinking "wait but weeb this is actually kind of cute, where is the horror" and for starters it just kind of, mentally wears your energy down over time to 'never shut your brain off' and have true rest, like Lilith and Lucifer intentionally 'trade' you being alert in reality to you being more conscious in the dream world, so, you're not as present when you're around ACTUAL people as you are when you're in their little, fucked up pocket dimension.

Then you've got. The baby. You're pregnant ONLY in the dream. You have THE ACTUAL PAINFUL EXPERIENCE of giving birth, BUT THEN you're waking up and you can't hold your child, show them to your friends, have the, SANITY AND COMFORT OF KNOWING YOU ACTUALLY HAVE ONE. You're waking up DEVASTATED. Where's your baby? 🥺 oh right.... They're not... actually real... like it fucks you up psychologically

I just picture, if I were to put it in an order of events. You go from 1. Lilith and Lucifer are just your casual acquaintances, Charlie's parents that you know through her 2. They start getting closer to you as you stay longer at the Hotel 3. Ok we get along and have fun moments and even sing songs and we have fun times with your daughter ^^ 4. Ok you're getting maybe a little comfortable, am I tripping or are you a little too comfortable 5. You're Bush Out in Fake Eden 6. You accidentally slip up and get more cozy with them in reality because Ok Maybe The Stupid Garden Bullshit IS Fun And Maybe A Little Soul Healing 🙄 7. You're getting banged in the Garden 8. Being in reality is awkward now, suddenly you're avoiding them less, so you're dreaming about them more, having them push themselves closer to you in response to you trying to pull away, like even if you're spending entire days outside of the Hotel you can't escape needing to sleep eventually 9. Suddenly you're like, not in Eden, you're in a hospital getting an ultrasound w Lili Luci holding your hands as a doctor tells the three of you you're pregnant and oh no you're actually really happy and excited about it 🥺 10. crushing crushing reality. You're single and not pregnant and you're beating yourself up for these fucked up dreams you're blaming yourself for having, as if they're some self conscious desire and you're kinkshaming yourself for having them 11. Dream You is having your baby, everyone is so happy like it's actually so perfect, even when you're stressed as a first time parent you have so much love and support to keep you strong 12. You wake up and it's nothing but DEPRESSION DEPRESSION DEPRESSION where is my baby and my wife and my husband who love me and I love them DEPRESSION DEPRESSION DEPRESSION 13. Lilith and Lucifer HAVE TO to spill that Hey Our Baby Is Real because you're like going near insane with "grief" like youre like actually wanting to try and end your life or constantly self harming because Where Is MY CHILD 14. You're so fucked up at this point you don't care to ask questions when they hand your Very Much Real Baby to you looking exactly how you remember them from your dreams. You're just happy your baby is real and now you can be with them all of the time and you don't even care that um This Was Such A Fucking Ethically Dubious Conception.

Do you think the other Hotel residents would have a sliding scale of being ok with this. Like you just SHOW UP WITH THIS LITTLE BLONDE BABY IN YOUR ARMS and Lilith and Lucifer are all but glued to you and they're all fucking confused because WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN??? you barely even spend time with these two, or so they thought??? When were you PREGNANT??? HOW??? I feel like realistically if they aren't all, you know, as Equally Crazy For You, that they would find this extremely manipulative and fucked up MEANWHILE CHARLIE DOESNT CARE and may have been in on it.

Also "something something what if Reader being able to get pregnant also turned out to be like God Himself being like 'hey lucifer lilith here's the deal I'm throwing you a bone right now, ok, this is for you, to keep things chill between us mk' and there are added layers of Oh Shit You Were Created To Be With Them" as if your ass wouldn't have an impossible enough time escaping as is 😭💀

But like... the concept of Reader falling so deep into "grief" that it gets so bad that you're basically not eating or sleeping, Lucirer and Lilith were always gonna tell you but they're forced to do it abruptly because you just breakdown and can't stop crying. Or it's even Charlie disobeying her parents and running up to you with your baby who stops crying the moment they're in your arms

I also just... as a final note..... just as a cute palette cleanser there's one specific idea I keep thinking of... you have your new baby and you're showing it to all your Hotel buddies and you give it to Alastor to hold because your baby was giggling and gurgling at him and you're just, death grip on his shoulder, "alastor please hold my child :) they're excited go meet you, say hi" and while you're like, vaguely threatening him to interact with this baby which he has Extremely Valid Reasons To Find Abhorrent, his deer ears move or twitch, and your baby is just looking up at him with their big eyes, watching those ears twitch, and, poof! Your baby has their first Lucifer/Lilith related shape-shifting incident and suddenly your baby has twitching little red ears and they're looking up at Alastor with these big cute eyes and here you are, "alastor :) aren't you going to praise my baby :) they just had their very first shift and it's for you :) tell them what a good job they did :) you're not trying to make my baby uncomfortable are you :)" and. Ok Maybe this does win Alastor over a bit being the narcissist that he is BUT THE TRUE REWARD is Lucifer scrambling into the room after you call out in excitement, dropping to his knees and all but wailing, "NO, WHY IS MY BABY HAVING THEIR FIRST SHIFT FOR Y O U AND I MISSED IT" and you just have Alastor being an ABSOLUTE SHIT, suddenly oh so cozy with your baby, "well talent recognizes talent! This little one clearly has potential! Why, look at how clearly they ALREADY ADORE THEIR DEAR UNCLE ALASTOR >:)" and from then on you can't leave these two men alone with your baby or they'll be having nonstop contests to "win them over" and prove who the best role model/caretaker is

Ok. Lastly. Lastly lastly lastly. THIS BABY SPECIFICALLY IS RUINING MY LIFE. Look at those STUPID CHUBBY cheeks and those big eyes and how attentive and focused she is like oh my godddddddd if LiliLuci handed one of those to me "this is yours" i would just die like 🥺🥺🥺 man, I'll have to tell you guys later about my idea for "Reader wants to see if Rosie will let them adopt a Hellborn baby and Alastor helps vouch for you and lowkey becomes your husband/the child's second parent" or "Reader finds an abandoned imp baby and all the shenanigans/protective possessive feelings from your yandere/s that follow once you begin your motherhood journey "