#as upset as I'll be if we don't get it tho I'd be even more upset if we got it and they left Gio out because him randomly being in it was

[shellys-apprentice]

I would bet real money that we won’t ever get Black 2 and White 2 remakes, which is a shame because they’re probably some of my favorite pokemon games, but when we do get remakes for Black and White, I really hope they keep the World Tournament.

Specifically the Gym Leader and Champion tournaments, updated to include newer characters.

And, while this definitely won’t happen, I think it would be really fun if, the first time you go to Driftveil, you could meet different random gym leaders wandering around the town everyday even though you can’t do the tournament yet, and when Team Plasma show up, whatever group of 3 or 4 of them who happen to be in the city that day help you deal with them

I just think the World Tournament was really fun, and they could do a lot with it, especially in a remake that’s already trying to play on nostalgia

[runningfrom2am]

one day (w.h.b)

summary: you and billy talk about what happens when you die.

pairing: william h. bonney (billy the kid) x fem!reader

wc: 3k

tags/warnings: non-descript and brief mention of implied suicide (nothing graphic i swear), other than that its pretty chill honestly, kinda sad but also happy at the end but mostly fluff and honestly pretty cute.

requests (currently closed- feel free to send whatever but it will be a while before I get to them! i do love to answer little things and hc's about my fics tho so if you want to talk ab this pls also drop it in the box!)

nav / billy the kid masterlist

a/n: credit to @goosita for getting my mind reeling on the concept of ghost!billy! this has been living in my mind and in my drafts for months omg

The hoofbeats of your horse underneath you set the pace for the steady rock of your hips as you make your way across the countryside on an unmarked trail Billy had memorized. One town to the next, just like always. On the run from something new that didn't really matter much to you as long as he was still by your side.

"Your name is pickin' up a lot of attention these days." You comment mindlessly, disrupting the peace of the night.

Billy makes a small sound of acknowledgment, clearly not pleased by that fact but unwilling to deny its truth.

"You know, I don't know what I'd do without ya." You add after a moments quiet, filled only by the crickets and steady slow hoofbeats beneath you. "If they got what they wanted, I mean."

"I dunno." Billy shrugs, voice slightly grim. He didn't even want to think about it; not for the sake of his own death, but god, whatever would end up happening to you.

"I'd follow you, I think." You say quietly, looking up at the stars.

He quickly shakes his head, expression tightening further. "Don't say that."

"You may not like it but it's true." You argue gently. "I ain't got much else to do here. What would I do, wander the west like now but all alone, sad and mopin' and waiting on the day death comes for me so I can see you again? I think I'll pass."

"Well there's not much use in you wandering around mopin', you gotta... I don't know, go out for trail rides, find some good friends. Hell, maybe settle down and get married." He suggests with a slight laugh.

You look over at him, raising an eyebrow with a slightly smug smile. "We both know that ain't ever gonna happen. So you see what I mean, then. I just decided to... skip the mopin' part."

Billy gives you a deadpan look, his expression a mix of frustration and resignation. "Oh, so you're just takin' the efficiency route, is that it?" he quips, his tone laced with annoyance. "No more mopin', straight to the grave with ya."

"Yes." You nod, and after a moment a small smile pulls at your lips. He was upset, of course he would be, but you know he won't stay mad at you for long. "You know, it would be real romantic, I think. Sharin' a grave. We could just be cuddled up forever; I can't think of anything better. Of a better way to go. Can you?"

"I can think of somethin' better," Billy mutters in response, his voice barely above a whisper. "Not havin' to share a grave until we're both old and grey, and dyin' peacefully in our sleep. That'd be a hell of a lot better, darlin'."

"It would." You agree, smiling over at him. "And when the time comes I'll rest easy. But, ah... the life we live..." You shake your head slightly, looking down at the worn leather of the saddle under your thighs that has served you well for most of your life.

"You're somethin' else, you know that?" he says, his tone affectionately exasperated. "You had this whole... plan all figured out, and you were just gonna go with it without even complainin'? Not a care in the world, just ready to join me in a premature grave."

"Yeah." You answer softly, smiling as you look over at him in the dim light your eyes have well adjusted to. "I love you, Billy. I'd do anything for you."

Billy's expression softens further, and he gives you a weary smile. "I know you would, darlin'," he says quietly. "And I love you too. More than words can say. I just..." He sighs, shaking his head slightly. "I just don't want you givin' up on your whole life if somethin' happens to me. I ain't worth you sacrificing everything, love."

"If I had anything left to sacrifice, you would absolutely be worth it." You tell him, shaking your head. "But it doesn't matter, because I don't. I've got nothin' except the very thinly veiled hope that maybe one day I might be happy again without you. And that... I don't feel good about those odds."

Billy's heart clenches in his chest, a pang of pain and sympathy filling his chest and his heart in a way that makes him feel stiff all over. "Darlin'... you gotta know that ain't true," he protests, his tone earnest. "You're smart and beautiful and kind. You could have a good life, with or without me. You just gotta-" But he falters, realizing he's not convincing you. His expression falls with a sigh.

"Those are all real nice things to say, and I appreciate it." You tell him genuinely, smiling sadly at him. "But think of it this way, it doesn't matter much now, does it? We got you out of the jailhouse for now, so we hopefully got a long time before death comes for us. And god forbid it does come early, I'll still be a young and pretty ghost, that would be nice, wouldn't it? I dunno what I'm gonna look like when I'm old, but I've had older ladies tell me I'm gonna wish I looked like this forever. If I was a ghost, I could." You say cheerily, trying to make him feel a little better about it.

Billy can't help but chuckle at your response, shaking his head at the audacity. "Only you would look at bein' a ghost as a positive thing, darlin'," he teases, his tone affectionate. "Most folks would find that pretty darn scary, you know. But then again, most folks ain't you."

"Well, I picture that we would look just about the same. Maybe a little pale, like that time we both had the flu last year." You giggle, looking over at him again and ignoring his secondary comment. "But everything else would be pretty much the same. We could read ghost books and dance to ghost music and just be together without fear of losin' each other ever. I think it would be kinda sweet."

"You make bein' dead sound like a walk in the park," he teases. "Like it ain't nothin'. Just floatin' around as spirits, listenin' to ghost music and readin' ghost books. Maybe playin' some ghost cards, even."

"Ghost cards!" You grin, pleased that he was going along with it. "You think the ghost cards are transparent like we would be? Would make it kinda hard to play poker."

Billy can't help but smirk at your enthusiasm, amused by your excitement. "I don't know, darlin'," he says, playing along. "Maybe ghost cards are made of some special ghost material that ain't see-through, but still lets us float right through 'em. Or maybe we just play ghost poker blindfolded, make things a bit more interesting."

You laugh at that, shaking your head. "Billy, if the cards are ghost��cards we wouldn't go through 'em. We would only go through things on this side. Walls, living people, that kinda thing. I think ghost stuff we'd still be able to touch like normal."

"Right, right," he says, playfully rolling his eyes. "I keep forgettin' you're the expert on ghost things, darlin'. I'm just a livin' person, what do I know? But hey, if we can touch ghost stuff, that means we could probably hold hands. And I gotta say, bein' able to hold your hand as a ghost sounds mighty nice."

"Of course we could hold hands," You say, smiling as you glance his way again. "Just like now, I'd hardly ever stop."

Billy grins, reaching out to take your hand in his across the gap between your horses, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I'd be holdin' your hand all the damn time, darlin'," he says, his tone playful. "Ain't no way I could go more than five minutes without holdin' onto you. You'd have to pull me off of ya."

"Maybe, but I never would." You shrug, feeling fuzzy inside from the feeling of his warm hand around yours. You had to slightly lean his way to reach him while you rode side by side, but you didn't mind. Just like always.

"That's good, darlin'," he says, his tone soft and affectionate. "Cause I'd never want you to let go. We'll hold hands for eternity, you and me. Ain't nothin' better than bein' close to you, love."

"Forever." You agree with a small smile. "And in a hundred years, people will come to our grave talkin' about the infamous Billy the Kid and his girl whose name was lost to time- and if you go behind the old saloon at night you'll see 'em still holdin' hands, hear 'em laugh. On a good day, maybe they'll even kiss." You giggle through a whisper, lightly swinging your joined hands.

Billy chuckles, a broad smile spreading across his face at your description.

"Oh, I like the sound of that, darlin'," he says, his tone light and almost excited. "People comin' to visit our grave and talkin' about us in hushed whispers. Seein' our ghost hands holdin' each other, hearin' our faint laughter. Maybe some young lovers will come to the grave and kiss, thinkin' it brings them good luck. Ain't that romantic?"

You let out another soft sigh, nodding in agreement. "And we can watch with ghost popcorn and place bets on whether or not they'll last."

Billy laughs at your suggestion, his eyes lighting up with amusement.

"Ghost popcorn and bettin' on lovers' fates? Darlin', you've got all the best ideas," he says, grinning. "That sounds like a pretty good way to spend eternity if you ask me. Cheerin' on the young 'uns and seein' if they make it or not. And I'll be bettin' on them to make it, every time. I'm a bit of a romantic at heart, after all."

Your smile shifts into a small happy pout. "That's sweet, baby." You say softly. "But I'll be lookin' out for red flags on 'em. And if he gives me any kind of strange feelin', I'm gonna whisper in her ear to run. And then, that'll be part of it. "Billy's unknown girl sure knows how to pick 'em right," they'd say."

"Well, we'll make an excellent ghost power couple, then," he teases. "You pickin' out the bad ones and me rootin' for the good ones. We'll be like matchmakers from beyond the grave. And I gotta say, the thought of people talkin' about 'Billy's unknown girl' and her ability to pick 'em right is definitely somethin' I can live - or rather, die - with."

You nod happily. "May take a while for people to trust me, but kids'll catch on quick." You say with a shrug. "Some young girl will be talkin' to her friend about her new boyfriend who she's not just sure about, and her friend will tell her to bring him to our grave. Because her cousin came to us for a kiss of good luck, and she swears up and down that she heard a girl whisper in her ear tellin' her to run from him and she didn't. Then she found out he'd been cheatin' with the preacher's daughter the whole time. I can see it now."

"You've got it all figured out, baby," he says. "Word'll spread soon enough, that our grave is the place to come for relationship advice. And once people hear about you whisperin' in girls' ears, they'll be beggin' to come visit us. Maybe they'll even start leavin' offerings for us, like we're the ghost gods of love and romance."

"Yeah. Flowers for me and bullets for you." You grin, very pleased with this story you've spun up for yourselves.

Billy grins back at you, amused by your suggestion. He looks ahead again, feeling the weight of the reins in his free hand as he looks at the long and endless path ahead. It feels almost lighter than what he's used to.

"Sounds perfect to me, darlin'," he says, chuckling. "I'm sure our grave will be the prettiest in the cemetery. You'll have flowers galore, and I'll have bullets stacked up like a fortress around me. A fitting tribute for the outlaw and his love, don't you think?"

"I think so." You smile, giggling as you think about him sitting on some kind of ghost throne made of bullet boxes. The idea of him having some kind of legacy left in a way people would want to honour instead of condemn makes you happier than just about anything else could. He was a good man, and no one these days knew that.

"I doubt anyone will know much about me, but... I'm not sure I mind." You say after a moment.

Billy shakes his head, his expression fond. "Darlin', trust me, people will know all about you," he says firmly. "They'll know you were the gal who loved the infamous Billy the Kid, who wasn't afraid to risk herself by sneakin' into a jail at night for him. They'll know you were the gal with fire in your eyes and a sharp wit. The gal who saw the world through different eyes, and wasn't afraid to speak her mind. People ain't ever gonna forget you, love."

You smile a little bit, nodding as you look back at the trail ahead. "I hope they bring my sunflowers." You say softly, rocking steadily with the movement of my horse. "Or drawings of horses. I wanna see these girls' horses in exchange for savin' them the trouble of a cheating man." You giggle. "And I hope they think I was pretty. I think that'd be pretty sweet."

Billy's smile grows and he slightly shakes his head. If anything of your memory could last, to him, it would be your beauty. Your absolutely enchanting gaze, the way your hair seemed to shine in the sun, and that smile that could brighten even the darkest of nights. No one knew him quite like you, but any man would be a fool to not see how lovely you were.

"Oh, darlin', I've no doubt they'll bring sunflowers and pictures of horses," he says. "And they'll think you were the prettiest girl who ever walked the earth. They won't even need to have seen a picture of you to know it, they'll just know from the love and loyalty you had for me. You're gonna be the stuff of legends, honey. The mystery girl who brought the infamous outlaw to his knees."

You look over at him again, a soft smile on your face. "I sure hope they don't see that literally." I giggle.

Billy chuckles, his expression amused at the subtle implication. "Oh darlin', I could think of worse things to be remembered for," he says playfully. "Maybe they'll even start a tradition of young girls bringin' their boyfriends to our grave and havin' them kneel down in front of you. Like they'll be thinkin' you're the goddess of love and loyalty, blessin' their relationships."

"Sure, but then I'd have to turn to ask you if they were doin' it right." You giggle. "If I should give them my blessings or not."

"Well, I reckon I'll have to take on the role of your faithful advisor then," he says with a bright laugh. "I'll be sittin' right by your side, watchin' as they kneel down in front of you. And if any of them don't look serious enough about their girl or if their form is off, I'll be whisperin' in your ear. Tellin' you to make 'em kneel a little longer."

"Nah, you gotta tell that to her- not to me. I can't make 'em do anything, but if he's good for her, she'll be able to make 'im listen." You shrug. "If he's good, if he's anything like you, he'd rather listen to her than to a ghost."

"You make a fair point, darlin'," he says with an amused grin. "I suppose I could whisper into her ear instead. Encouragin' her to stand up for herself and make sure her man's treatin' her right. And if he's anything like me, he'll listen to her and only her. But I still think I'll get a kick out of watchin' those boys kneel at your feet, darlin'. Just seein' a little bit of my influence in the world."

"I dunno if I need other boys kneelin' for me." You say, scrunching up your nose a bit at the thought. "I think I'd rather it be you."

Billy laughs, his eyes gleaming with affection. "Well, darlin', I think I'd prefer you have me on my knees anyway, and only me," he admits, his tone playful. "But the thought that young fellas comin' to our grave and kneelin' in front of you to ask for your blessing, it just makes me feel a little... proud. Like my love for you will keep on goin' even after we're gone. People ain't gonna forget about us, darlin'. They're not gonna forget about you."

You let the quiet sounds of the night overtake you after that, riding along the outskirts of an unfamiliar town by now. You can see the buildings in the distance, squinting a little at the abundance of bright lanterns. You wonder if they're celebrating something, but you're not quite close enough to hear.

"Hey, look at that." You say, gently tugging on his hand before letting go and pointing over toward the lights in the distance. "You ever seen somethin' like that before?"

"No, baby. I haven't." Billy answers, squinting a little as well and leaning forward to see past your shadowed silhouette. "They've sure got some bright lanterns over there. Maybe they're celebratin' somethin'."

"Maybe." You agree quietly, shrugging it off and continuing on.

It's too dark to see well enough, though, and you're both too distracted by the lights of the town as you pass by the Old Fort Sumner cemetery on your other side, careless and ignorant of the grave sight fifty or so feet away. Caged up, covered in bullets and flowers and coins- offerings for the Bandit King and his girl, who died as they lived.

Occasionally, on dark and clear nights like this, the local kids would claim to hear laughter or see the young couple on their horses riding through the country, just outside of town. No one was lucky enough to see the echo of them tonight.

follow my library for notifications when i post something new! @runningfrom2am-library

but i will tag a couple of my favs bc you guys write SO well for billy and i love it and reading all your stuff inspired me to finish this up and actually post it so thank you :')

@milliesfishes @francixoxoxo ily xx

[quantum1mmortality]

Could you write a one shot of Kung Lao having sex for the first time with his partner? It’s okay if you don’t 🫶 just want to let you know I enjoy your Kung Lao works 😎✨

Mixing all three of these together because I fucking can

To answer the question, yes I write for bottom kung lao, yes I write him submissive when the situation calls for it, yes he whimpers, it is what it is.

Tw/cw: readers a virgin, unprotected sex, AFAB reader, kung lao is so sweet I'd cry, he's also experienced it's whatever tho, piv, Kung Lao has incredibly horny thoughts about reader bc readers fucking awesome, bottom Kung Lao, he talks you through it like a good boyfriend, PRAISSSEEEE SO MUCH PRAISSSEEEE

Not proofread

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kung Laos definitely experienced, he'd had one night stands before but he stopped once he got with you. He'd practically devoted his life to you and making you happy.

He's been known to have a high sex drive, this paired with you constantly helping him with training and farming hasn't helped him at all. Your small shorts hiking up your thighs and the way you'd bend down to pull weeds up, making your ass look oh so grabbable makes his mouth run dry.

He'd often times have to excuse himself just so he could fuck his hand to the thought of you. No one has ever made him feel like this, but you have him completely weak to his knees.

Most of the time when you two would go out together, he'd often find himself getting lost in the way your hips would move when you walked. He'd easily get a boner if you ever wore a corset or anything to accentuate your waist.

He'd feel so guilty for his thoughts about you. He knows you're a virgin, you guys have had conversations about how you just weren't ready for that sort of thing yet. He was completely okay with it, he wouldn't do anything to make you upset, but if only you knew what you did to him.

He wanted nothing more than to touch you at every waking moment, wishing that he could tell you how he felt, but he waited. He was patient, he knew you were worth it.

And finally, as if Liu Kang himself heard his prayers and saw his horniness, after 5 months you decided you were ready. Kung Lao was ecstatic but he'd never outright say it.

He wanted your first time to be a night you both wouldn't forget. He took you out to the fanciest restaurant he could find, let you order whatever you wanted and he'd pay for the entire thing. He even wore a suit for the occasion and made you breakfast in bed earlier that morning.

When you got home after an awfully expensive dinner(not that he'd let you see the check, but you could tell), he led you to his bedroom that was decorated with pink and white lotus petals, sourced from his own personal garden; as well as some lit candles.

"I hope you like it, I had Raiden come over and light up all the candles while we were away. I didn't know what specific scent you would like for something like this, so I went safe and got apple pie candles. I hope you like them."

With that, he took your hands in his and gave you a soft smile. He slowly leaned in and gave you a small kiss before leading you to the bed. He gently placed you down and kissed your neck down to your chest, placing both hands on your thighs as he gently rubbed them.

He looks up at you with nothing but pure love and adoration in his eyes, "are you sure you're alright with this? I'll wait for however long it takes for you to be comfortable, I don't mind waiting a little longer."

"It's alright Lao. I'm ready, promise." You give him a smile and he quickly returns it.

His hands went up your thighs more, slowly pulling down your panties as he continued to kiss your chest. He took your panties off and discarded them somewhere in the room, he's gonna be keeping those so don't worry about them.

He moved up more, latching himself to your neck as he placed soft kisses and nips wherever he could. Gently, he placed his fingers into your heat, slowly rubbing into your pussy. You begin to whimper and instinctively close your legs around him. Kung Lao lightly chuckles at this and slowly has to pry them open again, continuing his movements after.

Once you were wet enough, he started with inserting one finger into your tight pussy, curling it as he stretches you out. You begin to groan in both pain and pleasure, he takes his free hand and rubs your inner thigh in an attempt to comfort you. "I know it hurts, I know, just a little longer, okay? I promise it'll be worth it."

Once he could, he inserted a second finger. Being able to scissor them made you warm up to the feeling and the stretch much quicker. Your moans turned into pleasurable ones by the time he could insert a third finger in.

Once you were finally stretched out enough, he began to undress the both of you. Starting with himself to hopefully make you more comfortable, he unclipped your bra, revelling in how beautiful you looked.

"God, you're so beautiful, it feels like a dream waking up next to you everyday, you know that?" He laughs as he gives you a small yet passionate kiss, pulling back so he can take off his boxers. He groaned at the feeling of his cock springing free, quickly taking notice of your anxious face.

"Hey, it'll be okay, alright? We can take it as slow as you want, and we can stop at any time. Just tell me okay?" With that, flips you over so you're on top of him, giving you a toothy smile as he places his hands on your waist. "You go down at your own pace, no rush."

You slowly begin to sink down on his cock, both of you letting out moans. Once it's fully in, you take a bit of time to adjust. You slowly begin to bounce on his cock, digging your nails into his side as you moan out his name. "Just like that, you take me so well, such a beautiful pussy all for me."

He whimpers and cry's out as you begin to clench down on him, gripping your sides tighter. "Lao- feels so good Lao-" "I know baby, you're doing so good for me, just like this."

It takes everything in Kung Lao not to start thrusting up into you, wanting to make you feel even more pleasure. But god did he feel amazing right now. Watching you bounce on his cock, seeing how your pussy sucks him in makes him want to cum on the spot.

"Y/n- plea- ngh... Please let me cum- I need you so bad-" he throws back his head in pleasure as he can feel small tears in the corner of his eyes, threatening to escape.

"Cum in me Lao, it's alright-" being caught up in the pleasure makes you say some pretty dumb shit. Just hearing you say his name in such a provocative way has him cumming so hard he practically screams your name. He lays his head down and breaths heavily, chanting your name like a prayer as he sinks his nails into your skin.

"How did it feel?" He looks up at you with pure happiness in his eyes. "I uhm.. didn't.. y'know.."

He could feel his heart sink. He forgot to make you cum. He immediately flips you over while he's still inside you, making you giggle and moan at the same time, resulting in round after round of him plowing into you over and over, and god did you love it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: might have to make a master list JUST for my lao fics LMAO

Ps I'm a sucker for first time fics, I love it when big men are so soft <3

[pseudowho]

hiya 🙂 i love your nanamin fics and i followed you for them way back when you wrote the pregnant reader one (and I still think about it). thought id ask you cos you seem to answer questions like this pretty wisely 🥲

i started writing fics for a pretty niche character in a fandom (not jjk) a while back and a friend/moot started then too. this character doesnt have lots of readers and thats fine im just here for the writing.

but since then ive noticed my friend has stopped reblogging my fics even tho they did before and even tho they obvs read and reblog everyone elses fics for this character (there really arent many of us).

they also seem upset about notes/likes a lot of the time. but I know they read my fics because I see lots of the same word choices and styles show up in their fics the next time they post.

its upsetting me lot tbh. i still read, like/comment/rb fics i like and its starting to feel like they do it because they think i have more readers than they do and mb theyre jealous.

anyway i dunno if you think i should raise it with them or just leave it?? they dont talk to me much anymore either after I didnt rb one of their fics i didnt really love.

First of all, well done for starting to write, and writing for an 'unpopular' character too, it looks like it's hard having a niche audience in the Tumblr-sphere. I'm always really grateful when someone writes for a niche character I love, every fic is like finding a diamond!

Second of all: I'm really really sorry this is happening to you. It has happened and still happens to me, too.

Thirdly: While I'll give my thoughts on it straight after this, one truth is that the other person maybe simply doesn't like your writing, and there's nothing mean-spirited about it at all.

Saying this, in your case, there seem to be too many little factors that actually makes me think... 👇

I have Thoughts™️💬 about Toxic Tumblr Reblog Culture...

There is a little phenomenon I've noticed with a lot of fic writers, where they seem to stop reblogging the fics of others who they view as competition. Even if they often read and reblogged another writer's fics before they themselves started writing.

They seem to think that if they reblog the work of you, their "competitor", then your work will get more attention than theirs. It gets even worse the more 'popular' you get, sadly.

I understand, because it's hard to see someone reblog most other peoples' fics about a character, and then pointedly ignore yours. You're not mad for feeling targeted. It can feel this way.

Equally, there can be a cherry-picking of moots' work, and a high school clique attitude to reblogging. Do two or three people band together and constantly reblog each others' work, making a huge fuss whatever it is, but leave you out even though you've historically been part of the circle before? Again, it's not as uncommon as you think.

A real "if we become moots, that means I reblog all your stuff, and you reblog all my stuff" as an unspoken rule. While that might work nicely for some people, it can also foster an air of pressure or entitlement, or of reblogging things even if you didn't really like them, because they're your friend. While fostering growth and circulation in the art community should be celebrated, I'd hate to think someone reblogged my work out of obligation, as opposed to passion.

I've had followers who loved my stuff, always commented and reblogged etc, but when they started writing for the same characters themselves, just stopped. I've also noticed a lot of the things you mention (them using similar word choices, stylistic choices etc to mine, in their new fics).

So, you know they're there reading in the background, and it doesn't make sense that they liked your writing one day, then just stopped liking it overnight, right?

I don't often muse aloud about "controversial" subjects on Tumblr, but this one really gets me. It turns writing, an already isolating art, into an even more isolating "competition".

It's sad, really.

Saying that, I still read, comment, reblog all the work of theirs that I read and love! It feels petty and ridiculous, but try to be the person that you want to see in the community. They'd probably notice they still get just as many readers as before, and actually, will be forced to address that their writing may be less popular for another reason.

I have wonderful friends here who read and reblog any of my stuff they like, just as I do theirs. I made a post a little while back, r.e. always reblogging stuff just because you're moots, and I'm glad to say I don't have this strange entitled relationship with these friends. It's low pressure and really fun.

Reblog in the best spirit; reblog stuff you love, that you think is great, etc etc. Don't fall into bad intentions! It's meant to be fun. It's not high-stakes. What are people competing about? I feel really bad for you, OP, and I know what it feels like.

Jealousy in the Tumblr fic writer community is strong!

Hang in there baby. You're doing great.

-- Haitch xxx

[conanssummerchild]

my own ranking of every rick and morty episode, inspired by the lovely @fandomwe1rd0 :3

sorry this is a bit scattered, the random quotes are just lines that i liked/found funny. i had to shorten all my reasonings by a fuck ton bcs i was just going on forever lmao, so if some things feel kinda cut off, that's why.

i binged all of rick and morty in like a week to make this, just to make sure the ranking was fully accurate to me and it took me way to long but i'm finally done !!

btw this isnt a ranking of which episodes are objectively the best, its very biased and just my personal opinions, im aware some epsiodes definitely shouldnt be as high as they are but a lot of them are just my comfort episodes 🤷

f tier: episodes i actively dislike, have little to no redeeming qualities.

71. rickdependance spray: audibly said "oh, fuck no." when i realised this was next. the rest of weird-ish episodes have some redeeming points but this one just has no plot relevance and isnt very funny.

70. raising gazorpazorp: main reason i dislike this episode is the end credit, it reminds me of when i was listening to family line and my dad insinuated conan was making it up and that if i got famous i'd do the same, like, no, if i talk abt what a shitty dad you are its bcs you were a shitty dad, do better. anyway i just thought it was an unfunny joke. due to daddy issues. also its just a boring episode.

69. a rickconvenient mort: summer and rick's storyline was ok but not enough to make up for how much i hate planetina. i liked beth in this episode. rick and summer's dynamic was nice too, but unhealthy.

e tier: episodes i don't dislike, just find boring/have bad elements but more redeeming qualities.

68. m. night shaym-aliens!: the little crystal wrestle was adorable. other than that not a super memorable episode.

67. rise of the numbericons: the movie: i didn't hate it but compared to the rest of s7 it was pretty weak. i think mr goldenfold is funny, but not enough to get his own episode. it would've been more entertaining if rick was in it lets be real, i missed him.

66. interdimensional cable 2: tempting fate: i care very little about jerry's penis. the interdimensional cable was good as usual though.

65. how poopy got his poop back: fine episode, not my fav. i liked seeing bp and squanchy again.

64. edge of tomorty: rick die rickpeat: "Damn, Morty, you're bad at maths, but I'm giving you an a-plus in confidence!" an okay episode.

63. rick: a mort well lived: pretty weak episode to follow solaricks. summer's die hard was good. some cool emotional components.

62. rattlestar ricklactia: "Hey, Morty, listen. I can tell you're pretty upset about the whole snake encounter thing, so I'll tell you what. I'm just gonna go ahead and avoid you for the rest of the day." rnm were kind of cute at the end. yk, until rick punched morty in the face :/.

61. the jerrick trap: sorry ik a lot of ppl love this episode but tho burger & fries were cute characters its not all that for me. memory rick's return, however, was all that. i love him.

60. childrick of mort: "Oh my god, grandpa, you fuck boy." rick being a space nerd <3. loved to see more of beth and rick together but other than that this episode was kinda mid.

59. amortycan grickfitti: honestly made me feel bad for jerry which isnt easy, i sort of liked rick here, he seemed reluctant to let the hell demons make fun of jerry, he still did, but even apologised with only a little prompting. can't say the same for beth. summer and morty were sweet in this episode, i wish we would get more of them.

58. rickmancing the stone: "I don't know why I'm crying." "Well... try crying 15% less?" not bad, i liked the emotional components.

57. mortynight run: again, not super memorable to me. the roy montage was good. You kind of wasted your 30's, though, with that whole birdwatching phase." the animation for the song was great.

d tier: mostly okay to good episodes with minor faults that i can look past in the general scheme of the episode.

56. one crew over the crewcoo's morty: fucked up what rick did to morty. and to mr pb, his life went to shit after this, bcs of rick.

55. night family: had some great moments, but wasnt my fav.

54. anatomy park: loved dr bloom, john oliver voiced him perfectly.

53. lawnmower dog: sweet scenes between rnm. liked the dream inceptor, loved scary terry, snuffles was good too but not as much.

52. claw and hoarder: special ricktims morty: "Are you gonna slay it?" "First off, i always slay it, queen. Secondly, yes." summer being on morty's side was nice. while the soul orgy was a bit weird, the rest of this episode was pretty entertaining which is why its higher up, sorry.

51. bethic twinstinct: jerry saying he would khs, not cool jerry fuck you. "You ladies discuss responsibility while i get stoned and play video games with your kids." the end 💀 i felt bad but it was funny lol.

50. final desmitation: maybe my fav ep of jerry and rick's relationship. i liked seeing rick disapprove of them making fun of jerry, had some funny moments and i even liked jerry here.

49. a rick in king mortur's mort: not the best but i enjoyed rickbot being nice to morty. also this episode sets up for rmrm which i love.

48. promortyus: morty's little yee-haw 😭. and their conversation, so sweet. taking the adderall line as an adhd rick confirmation. "It is my thing. Just like yours is dying alone," get his ass. i feel like the romance couldve been a compelling story if the hosts werent rnm.

47. the whirly dirly conspiracy: rick's take on jerry was accurate. "But no, like father like goddamn daughter! You wanna be like Rick? Congratulations, you're just as arrogant and just as irresponsible!" morty ate. i prefered summer and beths storyline to rick and jerry's.

c tier: solid, episodes, some have a few faults but theyre small

46. mort: ragnarick: it's so high up because i found rick to be likeable and liked his dynamic with morty. ricks clone was cute too.

45. look who's purging now: "Screw you, Rick! I'll purge you too, you old rickety piece of crap!" rnm's storyline was great, i liked arthrisha.

44. the ricks must be crazy: "I dropped out of school. It's not a place for smart people." "Ohhhh, snap!" lmao literally my reaction. "Ooh. Wow. Gaaay!" "That is pretty gay." not much more to say, good ep.

43. never ricking morty: rnm were sweet in this ep. the gay ass song with rick and bp. "Rick are you– do you need to go to the hospital?" the forehead kiss was sweet. (we're ignoring "Lips if you want.")

42. mort dinner rick andre: mr nimbus is a great character. the wine storyline was a bit boring. "I havent been to a full week of school in years! I don't know shit!" love the peek at rick's backstory too.

41. rick potion #9: important lore episode. some funny bits. morty was a little creepy in this one. i love jerry primes character development. first look on down from the bridge moment !!

40. forgetting sarick mortshall: "What are you, eight? Is this macaroni art? You expect me to believe you built this because you don't care?" liked ricks storyline and he actually does seem to be showing minor development. the end song was good. liked garbage goober's lore.

39. morty's mindblowers: rick removing whatever memories he wanted was fucked up. rick saying granite instead of granted will always be funny. also him losing in chackers and skiing into a tree.

38. mortyplicity: entertaining enough if a little convoluted, i liked it though. sweet moment between the decoy family, shame they died.

b tier: good to great episodes.

37. big trouble in little sanchez: actually liked jerry and beths storyline in this one. tiny riiick !! "old rick! ruining everything!" good episode.

36. pilot: good intro, sets the tone. rick is such a dick (affectionate). rnm's dynamic !! the animation is great. overall great episode.

35. pickle rick: ik its a overrated but i think its good. hes pickle riiiick. dr wong's speech to rick was actually really good and accurate.

34. meeseeks and destroy: rick was such a whiny bitch this episode (affectionate), up until the mr jellybean stuff, which i liked bcs it was handled well by the writers and rick was actually very sweet.

33. rick and morty's thanksploitation spectacular: president curtis' alcoholic sci-fi boyfriend is probably my favourite way rick has been refered to in the show LOL. overall i enjoyed this episode.

32. something ricked this way comes: idc now but, the first time watching rick's r slur speech it was obnoxious and offputting. summer and rick were great, i adore their dynamic, love summer and rick episodes, but idrc for jerry's storyline, he bores me so bad.

31. full meta jackrick: "Rick can't change, Morty. Change is what you might call his Kryptonite." there were a lot of things i liked abt this ep.

30. vindicators 3: the return of worldender: very good episode. forever a believer that the ride was for morty and rick just chickened out.

29. a rickle in time: the va for the testicle monster was great. beth and jerry's storyline also wasn't bad. rick jumping into the hole and sacrificing his life for morty, im sobbing. great episode.

28. the vat of acid episode: morty trying to make rick feel better about not being able to make the thing was very sweet. morty's relationship with that girl was adorable, so sad it was erased by jerry's dumb ass /lh. fuck rick in this episode. the end was funny.

27. rixty minutes: while i do love interdimensional cable this episode would've been lower if it wasn't for all the character moments. "You can't leave, you're 17." "Yeah, and I'm not pregnant. I'm gonna have better judgement than you guys had at my age." loved summer getting screentime. beth and jerry's moment was quite sweet.

26. ricksy business: bp and squanchy !!! >:) bp coming through with the deep speech. the montage of rick morty and summer at the end is so adorable i love them sm <3. "I love my grandkids." "Aw :)." "Psych, just kidding, my new catchphrase is i dont give a fuuuck!"

25. get schwifty: first president curtis episode !! i love him. love morty and bp interactions haha. "In bird culture, this is considered a dick move." "It is random debris. I found it in my carpet. I don't know what humans eat." crying i love him sm. one of my personal favs lol :).

24. juricksick mort: tbh i mostly like this ep bcs of "You pompous autistic cadaver!" but there was other good moments and it was entertaining. rick was funny and likeable and very much a disaster of a human being, as i was promised when i started watching rnm.

23. star mort rickturn of the jerri: space beth !! "You cosplay as your shitty father in his 30's." "Its funny. I always wondered who would win if we ever fought." "Then you were always a bad friend." :(. "Holy shit, I'm a terrible father." i forgot how good this episode was, very angsty.

22. total rickall: genuinely love this episode. KEITH DAVID >:D. rick's "weird made-up sounding catchphrases" compilation is one of my fav moments in the show lol, everyone looks so concerned 💀.

21. rest and ricklaxation: "Grandpa's here." SOBBING. "Because you kept drunk-dialing me and crying about it!" "I wasn't crying!" loved jessica and ricks dynamic lol. great episode.

20. rickfending your mort: great follow up to unmortricken, i like that rick doesnt just go back to normal and we see it takes a while and even then its only bcs morty steps in. morty making up titles for all their adventures is adorable. great sweet scenes between rnm.

19. the rickchurian mortydate: autistic rick !! also minecraft. the president is such a pathetic loser lol <3. i loved rick and morty being on the same wavelength in this episode. the ending was good.

18. wet kuat amortycan summer: summer-centric episode !! rick was likeable, liked seeing him clumsy getting his grove back. him saying summer reminds him of diane again, he's getting so much more open, im so proud, can you imagine s3 rick being sincere like that?

17. close rickcounters of the rick kind: best s1 episode, love citadel episodes. evil morty !!!!! some funny moments. "You're crying? Over a Morty?" sobbing. "Yeah, but wheres the transmitter?" and the evil morty song oh god, best scene ever fr. i love my evil guy :3.

s tier: outstanding episodes, the 16 best imo.

16. that's amorte: FANTASTIC episode, the end montage is the only part of any rnm episode thats made me cry a little, it would be higher up but i have some personal favs which i put higher. i feel like this episode was very classic rnm after having them separated half of s7.

15. the old man and the seat: jerry and morty's dynamic is pretty funny. tony and rick's storyline was fantastic. some pretty angsty stuff. "The saaaddest piece of garbage in the entire cosmos."

14. the abc's of beth: rick and beth episode !! rick saying that an adventure clearly needs morty in it, aw. i did not care about jerry's storyline at all. beth had no right being so relatable in this ep.

13. ricktional mortpoon's rickmas mortcation: rick relapsing into finding prime !! "I'm not touching that thing. I'll get neurotypical cooties." ok, so ik a lot of ppl don't like the speech rick said to morty, but i do, he was going through a LOT, this clearly took him quite a few steps back in development and healing, i think it was less bad than a lot of other things he's done and way more justified.

12. fear no mort: loved morty getting his time to shine, LOVED diane and rick. morty realising rick wasn't in the hole has to be one of the best moments in the show. rick not going in the hole at the end bcs morty told him not to, hope some day he'll get to the point of doing things for morty in front of him so he can realise how much he cares.

11. analyze piss: look at rick asking dr wong for advice. him relating to piss master :(. also i read a phenomenal fic abt this ep (tw sh) (link).

10. air force wong: UNITY RETURNS! Rick was kinda childish in this episode but i feel like it was justified, he wasn't being a dick just bcs, he was hurting, and he even kinda apologised to summer, hes trying. rick going to drink with the president instead of being alone.

9. the rickshank rickdemption: RICK PRIME. "That, diane, is the last great idea that will ever be had in this garage." :((((. ricks backstory. "he's not a villan, summer, but he shouldn't be ur hero." fantastic ep.

8. rickmurai jack: love two crows rick. rick's full "crybaby" backstory !! "Now you're evil morty, too. sooner or later we all are. on this side of the curve." THE END OH GOD. THE MUSIC. EVIL MORTY LETTING OUT A SIGH OF RELIEF. INSANE finale.

7. gotron jerrysis rickvangelion: rick is so spectacularly autistic in this one. i like how he doesnt silly hyperfixtate, he full on unhealthy hyperfixtates. i practically know this ep off by heart. comfort ep fr.

6. rickternal friendshine of the spotless mort: im not sorry for putting this up so high, i love this ep so fucking much. memory rick is so silly i love him sm. "You were a good friend, Rick. Goodbye." the blood ridge confession makes me FERAL. i can quote it word for word.

5. the wedding squanchers: THIS EPISODE. rick watching bp die in front of him. rick turning himself in :(. "everyone i know goes away in the end." the music was so good. "he's not coming back, is he?"

4. the ricklantis mixup: best citadel ep, fight me. j-22 trying to save simple rick only to suffer the same fate :(. slick jumping into the wishing portal. the ending was phenomenal, every single storyline was amazing and important. and evil morty returns.

3. auto erotic assimilation: love unity and ricks dynamic. blim blam humbling beth and jerry. jerry using the weed whacker right in front of the garage where rick just attempted. and no one notices. bc that's how it is. "do you feel it?" is a great song. maybe this ep is higher than it should be but it's my comfort ep, it means so much to me.

2. solaricks: first time we get to see dimension c-137 out of a flashback !! "I hope Summer knows what happens to the people you love!" "Oh, am I cool enough for you now? Well, that was easy. It only cost me fucking everything." "I don't know him. You're my grandpa, rick." rip jerry prime, my fav jerry. THIS EPISODE IS PHENOMENAL.

1. unmortricken: ok anyone who knows me knows this is my fav ep bcs i never stfu abt it. i mean, evil morty backstory, rick beating prime to death, GOD. ian cardoni was COOKING with the delivery of those lines, and the lines were fantastic. some good rnm moments. the angst is so good. "How's it feel? Better? No? Exactly the same? Yeah, it always does." best look on down from the bridge moment.

i keep going over this a million times just to make sure everything is perfect but idk, some episodes are maybe interchangeable, im just going to post it bcs its been rotting in my drafts for quite a while now, everyone promise you dont hate me for putting an episode 1 slot too high or low /j

and sorry for all the jerry hate in this post, i dont hate him i just find him boring, so eps where he's the centre tend to be lower on the list.

[press-f1-to-grieve]

yup here comes the yapping. considering my blog also includes both landoscar content and what one may consider anti lando content, especially during singapore gp, i feel that maybe this will double as a sort of clarification on where i stand with lando for those who came across my blog and might have seen this as mixed signal.

tl;dr: no i don't hate him. i don't even hate mclaren. i still can relate to lando and honestly, by hating him i'd be too massive of a hypocrite. there will still be landoscar and lando content on my blog. stuffs i reblogged, i didn't see them as anti because to me they were just fun jabs or for reference or what i think is valid criticism/concerns, but i'll try to tag more mindfully just in case you found me from my landoscar posts and reblogs and these posts upset you. we are just here for fun mostly after all, and i want to be mindful of how much hate lando has been getting lately, and how what i view is a fun jab might not be fun for you if you are a lando/mclaren fan, especially at the moment.

so the clip i saw on here that alerted me to what happened was from @/ef-1 (not tagging them properly because this is just a random rant but if they find my post and wishes to be tagged properly, i will gladly do so). i did track the stream down and watched the entire moment play out along with everything surrounding it just to make sure i didn’t miss anything. full disclaimer tho, that i did not watch the entirety of the nearly 5 hours long stream, but i did skip around and i didn’t encounter any more words regarding this.

unfortunately, after watching, it actually made lando look worse to me personally, and it pains me a lot because i actually like lando, but health and safety is kinda a line for me (i image it is for many too). for some context, if i say i’m a fan, or that i actively ship two people together, it is automatically a given that i like both parties to certain extent. there is, of course, bias and hierarchy taking place. fact is i do adore max slightly more than charles, both of them more than oscar, and oscar more than lando, but ultimately, i do in fact, adore them all. i watch f1 for fun (insert laugh track here), and i would just personally prefer that i don’t end up hating or disliking anybody for my own sake. i could and would dislike their actions if i think it’s a dick move, but i don’t want to dislike them, the person. there’s a big distinction there for me personally.

now, i don’t think what lando said in the stream has turned me into a hater, but it certainly is bumping my view of him a little lower. the fact he saw news about the health and safety of his fellow drivers, but instead of feeling concerned, he reacted in such way, even after his friend gently reminded him that he didn't have full context, is kinda a red flag to me. i would like to think that lando, with or without knowing about the merc drivers’ state after the race, would understand that george (apparently is supposed to be his friend?), lewis, and mercedes, like them or not, have more professionalism than a bunch of school children trying to get out of class. that maybe, if it’s warranted an update, then it was justifiably fucking bad, and that people saw enough evidence to be worried about the state of the drivers, hence needing official words from the team to put their minds at ease.

but, i can’t exactly sit here and lie to myself that i am "the best person” material. his insecurity and the defensive shield he seems to constantly hold is something i certainly can relate. this here might be pure projecting, but i think he wants to be good, however, because he still has plenty to work on, it’s a constant tug of war inside himself, hence the fragmented way his image is. anyway, i was there once. it’s not a fun place to be in, so i hope he finds his way out. and while i personally believe that there is no time limit for when a person can turn themselves around, i’d say the sooner the better it will be for him, simply because he is a public figure. i just don’t want him to get any more hate (which, tough luck, public figure), he’s no doubt receiving enough already, because it won’t help with anything (also doesn’t mean i’m saying he should be coddled either). i just feel there is a risk of pushing him toward lumping both hate and valid criticism together and disregarding them both in an attempt to protect himself, but where is the turning point, only those he is close with will know and can help him in time, i’m just some dumbass online. i think he’s a little more fragile mentally than most if not all on the grid (there is probably a percentage of me self projecting here but i feel it’s a valid belief), so the quicker the people around him realize that and get him the help he needs, the better. the quicker he can get himself in check, the more it’ll benefit both him and his image, especially with the shit that has been going down this season.

[antirepurp]

time for me to be obnoxious about an april fool's game at almost may wahoo ft. an unexpected moment of character analysis because i have no chill

TRAIN.

i hope this game is canon because rouge doing petty pickpocketing is my favorite thing actually

he has a wallet? and a home?

i could go on about how much i love these kids being unhinged and chaotic but unless i want to reblog this post a million times i have to cut it down. let it be known that i adore the kids and their antics tho

you know what i also adore? blaze committing crimes in the chaos dimension because she can get away with it. i think i need more of that in my life actually

although right after he says he doesn't wanna do more crimes i'd like to think he grows out of that opinion eventually. let the little guy steal stuff i want him to hang with rouge and have her make him worse actually

look here shadow's had it rough in the writing department for a while but i very much appreciated this plot point of him going out of his way to get concert tickets for amy and even (reluctantly) agreeing to go with her to said concert even if it isn't his cup of tea. i know it's more presented as him trying to y'know be polite and considerate and he's going about it in an edgy way but i'd like to think it's just his way of presenting things if you will? like he know what amy's favorite band is and sees how hard the tickets are to get so he goes out of his way to get them because he cares about his friend and knows how much attending a concert like that would mean to amy. and in terms of this screenshot in particular i also appreciate amy appreciating her friends' presence at her party even if they hadn't gotten her anything! sure it does kinda come across as her being bummed about not getting gifts from them and maybe she is but i think that's okay? like she's 12 (or 13 now i guess?) getting excited about presents is pretty normal, and it's not like she's super upset about it anyway. i think she genuinely appreciates her friends attending her party more than anything

i also found this a lovely little detail lol and it does kinda make sense! the bitch has been in stasis for 50 years and computer technology has taken leaps in that time, of course he'd be a lil rustier with them compared to his peers

more on shadow, this guy's brain goes overdrive the second he realizes he fucked up and needs to get something nice for his friend now. like i don't have the brain power to form it into words atm but i just love what this all says about him as a character!!

i could flail about the art in this game the whole evening honestly it's so lovely and colorful and pretty and i love how this scene is composed and shadow being seated on the windowsill idk this just put a big smile on my face when i saw it :)

frankly obsessed with amy's unhinged energy can we please get more of this bc i live for it

the fucking blowdart. i cannot tell you how fucking off the walls these teens are like espio's instructed to use a blowdart on sonic with non-lethal poison and he's like yeah that checks out and sonic's just like wow cool guess i'll snooze for a bit then like this shit is exactly why teenagers should be given superpowers and be put into Situations(TM) i love it

not an april fools game making me emotional over trains

and why yes i am obsessed obviously

it was a fun game! like tbh with a bit more content i would've been happy to pay a bit for this honestly (like. when im not broke lmao) like it's so charming and there were a lot of fun details and the jokes were enjoyable too. i just think it's neat :)

but yea that is all im glad sonic the hedgehog got murdered it was a great time

[charliespringverse]

iwbft - friday: a brief summary of my annotations

all highlighted quotes: 111

· ouch/ow/owie: 4

· real/felt/relatable/so true: 3

· aroace: 0

· ☹/☹☹/☹☹☹: 6

'I'll never forget what dear old John Lennon said: — we dont compliment wife-beaters here, dot

I've still got The Ark. — have u tho

Juliet was upset? Even after our big argument? I thought that was it for our friendship. — that's some bpd style thinking babes x (note: i 1. have bpd and 2. don't think fereshteh does, i just found it funny bc i'm p sure i've had this exact thought)

The idea that I had in my head. It was all something I'd just . . . fabricated. To make me feel a bit better about myself. So I had something to just... believe in. — oooo parallels

he sings - words I don't know, and a tune that goes somehow perfectly with the chords Rowan is making up on the spot - 'to Saint Peter he will tell: One more soldier reporting, sir. I've served my time in hell.' — listerrowan cowriting era?

'You've got a wet face,' he says. He walks up to me and starts dabbing my face with another paper towel. — playing the rowan role...............

'Do you ever imagine what would happen if we just ... ran away?' asks Lister, suddenly. I glance at him. He's looking at the window too. — nsync

God, I could do anything right now. — king u r so not thinking straight ♡

D'you have friends around you? People to support you?' I mumble something about being fine and close the door. Enough of that. — he hates that ppl don't see him as human but rejects it when they do because he barely knows how to Be human anymore ☹

It's not a crush. Not infatuation. I mean love in the 'I will think about you every day for my whole life' sense. Love, like the desperate ache to hold on to something useless, even though you know that if you threw it away, nothing would change. — *p.311

We catch eyes across the aisle and both laugh at the same time. The sound echoes around the empty church. — i love when they get to just be people ☹

'Are you talking about Jimmy or are you talking about me?' I ask. — i think they've got far more in common than either of them are ever likely to realise, at least until they're a long way past it

Strange how comforted I feel just holding it. Strange how I feel so much for one simple object. Even if I threw it away, nothing would change. — p.293 Jimmy + the knife the same as angel + the ark, once again tying those two things to the wider theme of faith

[thescreamcorner]

hi! same anon. it's been a minute. i do think we're on the same page a bit, even if we don't come to the same conclusions, so i really like that!

i don't have super strong opinions on like self misdiagnosing and symptom faking. you talked about it a lot, but it doesn't really bother me too much because i don't think people like that are necessarily solely responsible for the spread of medical/psychology misinformation. a lot of pop psychology comes from sort of laconic dissemination (i.e. rauscher's mozart effect study) and a sort of regurgitation of stuff from therapy from all sorts of corners. self dx i'm sure plays a part in that, but like. i think there's other aspects of it as well. but i think we sort of come from different settings vis a vis that. (my dating life is peppered with so many ppl who think i'm a therapist and know about their pop psychology isms LMFAO)

fwiw i do sort of get the isolated feeling of DID. not to the extent that it upsets you for sure, but like. i kinda get it. i suspect i may have osdd myself, but it's very difficult to find discussion of that that isn't based on THE one pro-or-con issue, and the community has pretty strong opinions focusing almost entirely on it, when not only do i not agree with either side, but i'm also just trying to find people's experiences.

also if i may address luna-space (cogneuro icon btw you were not rude at all), because luna's askbox was not opened and i'm sure you want to know too!

you do raise a good point, psychology IS the study of brain AND BEHAVIOR. i'm just kind of neuroscience pilled i spend too much time in my funny office box doing connectivity analyses. and thinking it over i do think behavior DOES play a role in symptomology. i just dont think it should play the ONLY role.

if i may return to my bipolar, schizophrenia, and depression example. (btw Brett Clementz is the main guy i know for bipolar+schizophrenia overlap research. he did a lot of stuff there.) both bipolar and depression have depressed mood as a symptom (schizophrenia arguably too as negative symptoms like flat affect and anhedonia can fall into this, but i digress). however, schizophrenia has a similar sort of pattern of activity to bipolar, and while yes, bipolar and depression both affect mood, the fact that i've had whole lectures in undergrad with instructors pointing out the subtle differences between bipolar and schizophrenia (the primary difference being the psychosis) before i knew about this is a bit questionable for a mood disorder and a psychosis disorder.

idk how necessarily to cite something i see a lot of in general i.e. the tendencies research. i know we do some sliding scale stuff with a certain condition that i do not wish to say because i do not wish to get doxxed or anything. i'll give you some other dois tho.

the paper i was referencing for the bullying thing. it's more a developmental thing, but i think that stuff still falls under the plasticity umbrella. -> https://doi.org/10.1016/j.bbr.2019.01.054

and here's a paper about other diagnostic models i thought was interesting (i dont know if i FULLY agree with it but i think it's a start) -> https://doi.org/10.1353/ppp.2020.0020

sorry if im being too nerdy in your ask box btw i'd say this is my job but really my job is writing this goddamn paper about brain networks. not sending tumblr asks XD

I unfortunately do not have the brainpower to really read this too thoroughly but I appreciate the ask and the empathetic viewpoints regardless, and will share it so Luna gets a chance to see it too since it's not just @ me ^^;

[vodid]

ok i keep seeing awfully targeted vagueposts about me pertaining to my silly idw-exclusionary prowlsweep campaign — which i didn't expect to have gained so much traction and negative reactions — so, while yes, i understand lighthearted jokes may still hit home a little too closely, i'm not responsible for your feelings /neu. but i get it. we're protective of our blorbos and i have a hard time with the jokes too. especially about prowl and especially especially about idw prowl, believe it or not. i do get upset over them, which i suppose was why i ran my campaign like that. many of the polls (from what i could see, i probably missed a lot) were just "my blorbo is so sweet he deserves to win" but swervesweep was solidly "do not vote for prowl he is a shit man" you can't tell me there wasn't some sort of bias because of idw prowl. there's a difference between lifting up a contender and slandering another so horribly. voting because you hate, not because you love.

so yeah, just like some had gotten upset over my campaign (even if it was a joke), i got upset upon seeing all the negative tags (even if they were jokes). i admit to getting defensive and decided to run a funny campaign focused on g1 and tfa, because there was more love for them and i wanted to try to make something a little silly but positive out of it. like "hey, ignore idw for just a second because i promise there are husband-material prowls." i do admit i may have let my saltiness show through that campaign too much, so this is a bit hypocritical of me and i fully acknowledge that.

i got more to say tho shdfdsfs this got long and messy, sorry. i'll put it under a cut. i don't usually talk this in depth about my opinion of idw prowl (or just. any opinion.) ironically for this exact reason but,,

i so desperately want to like idw prowl. i really do. and in some way, i do like him (surprising, i know). but i can't look past the way the writers and the fandom treat him. that's what i truly hate. he gets insanely (and imo undeserved) bad rep and i was just sick and tired of seeing all the unreasonable hate for him from cherrypickers. so if idw prowl is going to severely /neg affect people's opinions of prowl as a whole, then i'd prefer he didn't exist. that's my harsh and albeit a bit childish truth but i'm not sorry for it.

i dislike his portrayal for a number of reasons in that it's just not him to me. i can certainly acknowledge a character doesn't have to be consistently the same every time, and that idw was meant to be an expansion of these characters and what they can be. but it doesn't mean i like the direction they took with him. what they did to him/had him do. it was like they took his core being, what made his character solidly his, threw it at the mirror to reverse it and wondered why it shattered.

if it weren't prowl, i wouldn't have as much of a problem with his character in idw. but unfortunately, he is. in concept, he is a very interesting character with a beautifully tragic story and maybe i would've liked his skrunkly ass /affectionate. but he's just not my rodrick.

also i can't get past the ableism of his portrayal 🫶 that's not a page in my book i'd like to add besties. and not a page i'm getting into in this post.

it goes so much deeper than "wahh big titty cop man is so mean" like cmoooon. i'm not a coward for asking people to look past his wrongdoings in idw they unequivocally hate him for when literally everybody else in idw has in some way done equally bad or worse things ...but are still unconditionally loved? nah. if they can stop their bias for one (1) second, maybe they could see more. thus, idw-exclusionary campaign. in an attempt to get people to stop seeing every prowl as bad. because like i said, idw taints the fuck out of non-idw prowls. how is that any fair? (and how are we prowl lovers supposed to feel seeing all that?)

these are entirely my opinions. i'm entitled to mine just as you are yours, and i am entitled to spin the campaign in any way i want. idw-exclusionary, pro-jazzprowl, boob-loving 💖, what have you. if you didn't like it, then you were more than welcome to start your own campaign alongside me! you didn't have to leave it to me. should i have maybe tried to convince people why idw prowl's wrongdoings don't make him deserving of such hatred? sure, that'd been nice. but i'm not well enough equipped for that. you can do that tho, i'd love to see it

i can't stop you from vagueposting and i won't tell you your opinions are invalid. but if you get to share your thoughts, i'd like to as well. we can both be critical of these topics in our own way and it'd be nice to come to an understanding instead of having to resort to blocking and vagueposting. (me? the coward? /j) you have every right to do that though, especially if its for your own comfort, and i really can't stop you. but it'd be real nice if we didn't outright attack the person and call them names. this problem is bigger than me. i just happened to speak on it.

all in all, it's not that serious of a situation — or rather, i wish it wasn't and i'm upset that i'm even writing this. i shouldn't have to write this, but you guys cannot for the life of yourselves understand the basic reason behind the campaign. or do you just refuse to? did you think to ask why?

we're both protective of prowl. idw or not. we were on the same team and it's not an awful thing to want to encourage people to consider other prowls before idw. i want them to see he can be good! i want them to see what i see in him. he's just a little blorbo man and it's funny in a bit of a sad way that i'm getting so heated over a fictional character and a silly poll.

sorry to poll ops. i didn't want it to spiral like that. i truly did have a lot of fun running my little campaign, even if it looked a bit (lightheartedly) aggressive. i just wanted my blorbo to win fandom favor for once 💔 jazz vs prowl would have been absolutely hilarious too. even as a non-j/p shipper, i hope you'll agree it'd have been funny to see us losing our minds over having to choose but that's besides the point!

in the end (it didn't even matter) we're all robot lovers. and it's sad we tend to have such a difficult time getting along. i'm here to make art and it's all supposed to be fun and games.

sorry to my many new followers too, this isn't the best first impression. i try to keep this stuff off my blog. i hope u like my art and thanks for sticking around — yes, even u swervesweepers (you absolute TRAITORS /lh /lh 💕)

take care of yourselves

[bonesandthebees]

YEAHHHH LMAOO that was the only time I've sent an ask on anon idk why I was so anxious that day LMAOOO

Tho I will say I've debated asking this one question to u so many times and everytime I wanna go on anon but then I realise it would not. Make any sense . If I was on anon so I've just refrained from asking lmaoo (which wow brain as soon as I typed this I've forgotten the question. Good job brain)

ANYWAYS MHMHMHM it's of a strawberry flower!! It's genuinely just such a gorgeous tatt I'd want it for myself even if it wasn't matching so I feel very comfortable getting it in the case we ever split up or anything <3

OOHHH THANK YOU YES PLS FEEL FREE TO GIVE ADVICE I AM ALWAYS LOOKING FOR MORE both for traveling solo in another country (I am Scared) and also tattoo after care?? Like. It's gonna be above my ankle how careful of socks/pants should I be :000

I mean if you ever wanna go on anon to ask me something that's totally fine I get it, and also if you're ever worried about asking me something just know that if I ever don't want to answer a question for any reason (ie: the answer isn't something I want to divulge publicly, I don't feel comfortable talking about that subject, I feel like I just don't have a good answer, etc.) I just won't answer it. it doesn't mean I'm going to hold a grudge against someone who asks me something I don't wanna answer. I get it, people are curious or have questions or whatever and that's fine! if I don't wanna answer I simply won't and that doesn't mean I'm upset or annoyed or anything like that

oooo a strawberry flower sounds so pretty!! I'm sure that's gonna look amazing

okay advice time for travel + tattoos under the cut bc it got long

oh yeah I was gonna say you're from canada right? I think going through customs is a bit easier for US/Canadian citizens traveling between the two countries, but still good luck with the lines. other advice I have for traveling in another country solo... while you might consider getting your currency exchanged, almost everyone and everywhere takes card these days so as long as you have a card that can be used internationally (I believe mastercard and visa are pretty much usable in every country, although I'm sure if it's just between the US and Canada most cards are fine, just make sure to check). but also if you do wanna do currency exchange, wait until you're in the US to do that or else you'll get ripped off. once you're in the US just go to an ATM and withdraw cash from your bank account, and it'll come out in US dollars without the additional fee you'd get from going to a currency exchange place

OKAY TATTOO TIPS

I think most tattoo artists these days use second skin after giving someone a tattoo. it's basically a sticky thin sheet of plastic that the artist will put on top of the tattoo after it's finished, and usually your artist will instruct you to leave it on anywhere from 24 hours to several days. any artist worth their salt will properly explain how long to keep it on for, what to expect and look out for, etc. the second skin will protect the tattoo so you won't have to worry about it rubbing against fabric in the initial few days after getting it. although I'll say taking that stuff off is a BITCH it's like peeling a bandaid off but so much worse

however, your artist might not use second skin. out of my five tattoos, only two of the artists I've been to used second skin which is apparently unusual because from what I've heard from tattoo artists is that it's pretty much standard at this point to use it. however because only my latter two tattoos used second skin, I didn't realize that I have reactions to second skin that make it not suitable for me to use. you might have a reaction as well and that's ok! for me at least my reaction wasn't anything bad, it's just that I noticed a lot of redness around the second skin and when I took it off (earlier than I was supposed to) it left marks around my tattoo that didn't go away for 6 months. so yeah in the future if I go to an artist and they want to use second skin, I'm going to refuse because I've healed 3 tattoos perfectly fine without it. so if your artist doesn't use second skin (and tbh even if they do because you'll need this once you take the second skin off) buy some aquaphor. your artist is probably going to instruct you to wash the tattoo with antibacterial soap 2-3 times a day, and afterwards you should put a thin layer of aquaphor on top of the tattoo to protect it and soothe any dryness or scabbing. it might seem annoying to wash a tattoo so many times a day, but trust me once it starts scabbing you're going to want to wash it because it itches and the aquaphor calms it down.

having the tattoo on your ankle might be tricky since it's too cold to wear shorts, and the hem of your pants might rub against it. try to wear pants that are looser around your ankles (no skinny jeans or leggings) so that the fabric doesn't irritate it. and try to wear socks that don't touch the tattoo.

above all though, your tattoo artist should be able to tell you everything I just told you. don't be afraid to ask them questions. they want your tattoo to heal nicely bc that's their work! and just in general don't be shy to talk to your artist. my first two tattoos aren't bad by any means, but I don't love them because I was too anxious to properly communicate with my artist about what I wanted. don't be afraid to ask them to change something in the design, or if they put the stencil on and you want a different placement tell them! your artist is there to work with you so just talk to them :)

okay that got so much longer than I meant it to hope that helps!!

[ryker-writes]

REALISTICALLY how well I would get along with TWST characters (Heartslabyul Edition)

I realize that this isn't something people probably care about, but this has been in my brain for a while. This is looking at how well I would get along with the characters if I was actually there. My goal is to be realistic so even if I absolutely love a character, we might not be able to actually get along. Other dorms will be coming soon

Riddle:

decently well actually

I'm not one to break rules often and I'm someone who tries really hard to get good grades

I would try to learn the rules of Heartslabyul and follow them (and probably forget some and fail)

I also like to think of myself as someone who's really organized and plans thing's out so I would love to help set up unbirthday parties

that being said

I would also probably be scared of him because of how angry he gets

I would be scared that some little thing I do might make him upset

If I did break a rule I would try to make it right as fast as possible

basically: if my first impression of him was him being angry I'd avoid him, and if it was him being nice then we could probably be friends

Trey:

Pretty well

Trey's a pretty nice guy that I feel I could get along with

I see him as someone that's easier to approach about things and he wouldn't judge much

also he likes baking and so do I

baking buddies for life

he's totally the mom friend and would probably scold me for not taking care of myself tho

Cater:

decent

Cater is someone I would probably avoid

It's not that our personalities wouldn't go well together

It's more about his obsession with social media

I'm definitely not on top of trends and can't keep up with it all most of the time

But also he takes photos of almost everything and I would be in constant fear of being in a photo

Any interaction between us would have to be initiated by him because I would be to nervous

we probably wouldn't interact much

Ace:

not super well

he's someone I can see myself avoiding

it's mostly because of all the trouble he causes around the school and his general mischievous attitude

he would be the type to play pranks on people and everyone around him gets affected by them

I would hate to be pulled into those

confrontational people both amaze and scare me

like I'll silently cheer him on (from a distance) as he challenges a dorm leader but that's the most I would do

Deuce:

decent

we probably wouldn't interact much

partially because he's almost always with Ace and partially because our interests just don't align

But I do admire his drive to become an honor student

if I saw him struggling with schoolwork and I built up enough confidence, I would try to help him tho

so study buddies maybe? but probably not much beyond that

[colourful-void]

OKAY I GOT DISTRACTED FOR A BIT BY GETTING IN THE ZONE BUT AITSF UDPATE:

1: finished the komeji and shoma ending! i! okay ill be honestly i wasn't super thrilled. I REALLY like the set up stuff in terms of simulation reality, and beleiving its all fake bcs you can't cope, im MASSIVELY INTO THAT. But. I don't. like. Komeji I'm so sorry his just. he's so cube. and he annoys me. I feel like a usually have a pretty high tolerance for this kinda stuff but I just. On paper i get it but in practice I really dont like him. was very happy to see date n co tho. i think it's RIDICULOUSSSS how they explain date's interest in porn like that did not need to be explained. however. its such a stupid explanation it kinda loops back around to being funny to me. sure. why not.

2: ollowing finishing that route i tried to get back to Tokiko to see if i could use that elevator code, bcs she'd been mentioning frayers and i thought i knew what that was but i did not. but no thats only 6 digits so still not right f=/. dang. i also tried to get onto mizuki's half i miss my baby, but i found i needed two names. i know Dahlia is one, but the other is 4 letters so. Currently its probably either for Mame, Lien, or Naix. I suspect Naix the most as an answer.

3: started onto the other route from komeji's somnium. I maintain that these are too easy. It's not like they're like. the problem is that I feel like i'm being treated like I'm an idiot. ryuki and tama talk everything out in such detail, and theres often not a lot of stuff to interact with at all, a lot of which doesn't even let you make the choices like from the last game. like, proper timie usage was SO important to me last game and in this one I've never even racked up 3. i also feel like there's less dream logic, and it's a little disappointing. like, oh tape the cardboard back together. turn on the tv. =( the whimsy. it did improve some in the back half though, and i'll take it!!!

4: liking this dead komeji route WAY MORE than the other one. its not that i hate him that much but i do like the way the plots moving here. what does mame know? whats the masked womans deal? has anyone seen shoma. WHAT IS WRONGGGG WITH RYUKI <33. what is wrong with ryuki is by far my favourite mystery. im more interested in that than i am in the half body killings honestly. (part of that is teh victims i think. we dont really know jin, chikara was annoying at best but the more i learn about him the more i hate him, komeji was annoying, so. honestly i havent really been that upset about any of them dying. tokiko i did love and i am sad she's gone, but also these murders are a little bland following the first game. i just watched a guys head explode could there at least be a little blood? just a little? i know its probably for plot reasons but ive never missed gore so bad. im not even that into gore.

5: somewhere on the dead komeji route i finally figured out what that little green thing in the menu was so i've activated my tamagotchi thingy!! very fun i love it. mines an iris-y one or something? its cuteee!!

6: in terms of the wider mystery: im just really curious how far they're gonna commit to being meta.they did start with asking ME what i knew about the last game so.... looking forward to ryuki's whole deal, actually getting to play as my darling mizuki again, finding out what is UPP with date. i really like the weird videos series i just think they're neat. if the endgame doesn't have a somnium based on those thigns i will be disappointed, surely thats what we're building to.

i left off right before starting mame's somniumin the gameshow room. i don't think shes' actually involved in the killings, but doing that would be REALLY NEAT as a sequel thing, imo. i'd like it. i think shes just hiding stuff bcs she was threatened. assumably i've still got a good chunk of the game to paly! i havent done much if any of the extra eyeballs either, just whats on the way so. i'll get those guys. have been picking up some costumes n stuff tho. you can put tama <33 in pants <3333333333.

[darlingpwease]

Well they're just for you and I'm happy not getting any. Glad to see your opinion on me though 😒 /t /j Weasel or rabbit, I'll keep him either way. Give him the best things and treat him only the best <33

Well I hope you enjoy it when I finish then!! :DDD Oh?? Do you know if you plan on finishing it?? Obviously you don't have to if you don't want to. Do you have any work that ur currently reading that you enjoy??

Dove, you never cease to be absolutely wonderful omgomg,, ik I say this a lot but your mind is just so good <33

.....I'm going to be completely honest, I don't understand what that means,,, but based off of your reaction, I'm positive my thoughts on what it might be are more than likely very wrong.... Works that don't involve 'a big-eyed, small chested shorty... whom everyone constantly drugging and tries to rape... leaves the country and returns with a brilliant child.' I can tell you that. Well it's a good thing I'm not a white lotus then, hm hm~/t ...I beg to differ.

I can't say anything on this blog without being bullied. >:'(( /t /hj /nsrs /hsrs YES YESZ!!

Darling, I'm so so happy we are on the same page. /gen /pos /affectionate I could literally go on and on about that too <//333 Corrupting and keeping both sound good. I wanna make em smile and wipe their tears,, maybe bully them a little but I'll shower them with many many kisses <33 I'd spoil Hua Cheng rotten,, tbh....

I am never being nice to you ever again. /j /nsrs ur the mean one here

-panna cotta

These are all super short for this one, I'm sorry :'CC

You are still as sweet with him as usual after, making sure to clean him and the environment up well, making sure he's comfortable and happy, making sure that he's okay-

But when you linger over the deep and dark marks you've given him, stroking them, even if they sting by even the slightest touch and ache afterwards, Xie Lian can't help but fall in love all over again when he sees the possessive proud look in your eyes.

When you two cuddle together, Xie Lian nuzzling into your chest once again, your arms wrapped around him as he clings to you with just as much need, it feels like everything is perfect.

For you, you finally not only have the upper-hand on yourself, but you can finally do something unique for your lover. A new imprint for him to remember, a new experience, and you can explore that with him.

For Xie Lian, you finally seem somewhat better. After how you've been changing the past dew lifetimes, he was worried. Scared. Petrified. He didn't know what to do. Was it his fault? Did he do something? You must let him know so he can make it up to you– But with how you are now, a gentle and content look on your face as you happily indulge him, no longer seeming upset and angry over anything you? he? did, Xie Lian was just... so happy.

Sometimes, like right now, it feels like nothing has changed. The way Xie Lian acts is just as you think you remember. It's so familiar -as if you've seen it thousands of times- and you still smile joyfully when he calls out your name. Finally being your usual warm self, indulging Xie Lian with whatever you could, spoiling him. It's really like nothing has ever changed.

But whether it's truly a blessing or curse only depends on whom you ask.

Omgomg, yes yes,, exactly!!! I could kiss that stunningly astonishing mind of yours, Dove <333 It's so adorable what they do,, they seem so excited and happy to be able to express their adoration that they do it whenever they can. The way their faces light up when you accept their affection is just so adorable. You didn't expect them to get so happy,, but you can't help but want to indulge them <33 Me?? I thought you wanted to do it??? I don't mind doing it tho???? It's amazing????? Nobody's stopping you either darling?????? /gen /pos /slight t

kith kith so amazing <33 uwaaa Hua Cheng loves that you are spending so much time with him. Before, when he was younger, although you would go and see him as much as you could, it still wasn't as constant as it is now. He can't but feel so happy that he is with you constantly now. He can finally stand by your side, and no one even bothers to stop him. And although you're looking for your.. lover... he still can't help but savor his selfish glee. You're with him right now. Not Xie Lian. Him. He currently has you all to himself, and he is soaking up every moment. Of course, he will still fulfill his promise to you, but he can't help but want to sink in this feeling.

(write an answer here that it's not your fault that pamna cotta is actually a cunning fox and it's better to trust the fire that it won't burn than the cunning pamna cotta.) jagshhsgshshs /t /j look, I know he's a rabbit on some art, but I can only perceive him as a weasel. rabbits don't behave like that. yuuta is a rabbit and he is much more innocent & pure than xie lian😔😔😔

I hope you finish too!!! /t /hj /affectionate just say that the idea didn't hook you, don't go around with this "you don't have to do it if you don't want to"🫤🫤🫤 /t /j I'm looking for something to sit down and read right now😔 I have enough works that I requested in the middle, because I just couldn't read on, and it looks more like a cemetery of broken hopes than the "abandoned" tab /hj

jagshsghs,,, sweet talker<33333 I didn't want to write any longer, but the idea was that xie lian and hua cheng are both heaven's favorite and paranormally lucky, respectively, so they would work well to make you stay here with them, even if it means constantly interfering with your task until one day you understand for small things, that they also undergo reincarnation and rollback in time like you, even are just "characters" who were too in love with you at the same time<3 it becomes even more problematic when other characters seem to also begin to awaken self-awareness by remembering things of the past and the future, although their timeline did not allow this, while both of your most devoted followers are very busy following you,,,,,,

babyboo, it just means an obedient person who goes (obeys) just like a calf with a rope tied around its neck. you're too perceptive & have too bad an opinion of me<///3 🤨🤨🤨 then do it, huh~ no, hon, if you don't remember, then it's nullify, and given your airhead, you broke that promise as soon as you made it, just in a future timeline :///

dark water arc is the moment that makes hearts break, you just don't understand</////333 It's almost as painful as seeing my innocent, sweet panna cotta become a blackened white lotus😔😔😔 /t /j want to take them to a psychologist and kiss them. both. both are good.

I mean- cute cheeks!!! lovely eyes!!! pretty face!!! wears bandages!!! has low self-esteem and potential depression with definitely some injuries!!! If he wasn't so provocative, I wouldn't want to torture him, okay? not my fault!!! so true,,,, I want to spoil Hua Cheng and just hold him on my lap, my dear boy, I want to spoil him completely and spoil him even if it only makes him even more clingy and needy, finally getting the love he is bound to receive!!! he deserves to have his face kissed while his hands are holding hands, and he blushes slightly, but absolutely does not mind, rather even showing you places that you can kiss<3333 look at him!!! tell him that "Hua Cheng" and "San Lang" are two of the most beautiful people in the world, and you love him regardless of how he looks, affectionately calling him "San Lang", since only you he allows himself to be called that :(((((( i rfnejrhrjrhehrrrhrhrjrjreh so so so so in lovve,,,,,, hua cheng my beloved boy my dear boy :(((((((((( when you brush his long dark hair as an act of caring while he hides his face in you in an almost sweet manner, enjoying such quiet moments alone when he can afford to be just spoiled,,,,,,, or when he feels more sly in the form of Sang Lang, playfully flirting and feeling so carefree, even when you whisper so that he does not embarrass you, busy with your business, and he, of course, could, but snuggling up to you and being a flirt is much more interesting</////3

that is, you will behave as usual, just this time you decided to voice it out loud?🤨 no u meanie pamna cotta<//333 /t /hj

𝐈 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐝𝐲 // 𝐛𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐯𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐬

okay, but Xie Lian who keeps some kind of gift that passes on to each of your incarnations to confirm that your destinies are connected, no matter what? maybe a couple of things that can only look normal together (you know, a necklace with a piece of a flower or a crown that needs to be put together to make a solid pattern, or rings with the image of the moon and the sun that can easily be combined with each other), or two paired things like armbands or a drawing - something that can confirm that you will always remember him and that he will always be with you, that you will never forget him, that he is a part of you as well as you are a part of him that he will never be able to tear out, no matter what he does. when his mind obsessively says that you will one day leave him and die, leave forever, he will never be able to return to you, but the thing remains his reminder that, of course, you will come. you'll be there. you have always been and always will be there.

he is not delirious, he did not dream it, it's true, it's reality, and you will always find nest and be there, no matter where you want or refuse to be, you will always be where he is, and he will always be where you are, as it should be, as it is right — the moon should not leave the sun, just as he steps behind you, knowing that your absence is so little, so little time, seeing a familiar figure again only to know that his life has begun to flow again, as if the May sun came after the frosts, turning the icicles into tears when he hurries to you,,,, when you immediately recognize him, realizing that he is yours, exactly yours, your one and only, only to realize that you don't remember anything except this, but Xie Lian almost drunkenly claims that he remembers everything and will help you, just take his hand — and he will take you Home.

when you almost roughly squeeze his waist and Xie Lian tries not to be loud, but no matter how often you touch him, he just can't be calm or react as if it's not his first time, even if your first time you tied him up and made him cry — you vaguely remember that you have already done this, but seeing his face red with shame and excitement, as if he is a virgin, you can't help but feel pretty, feeling as if you will always be the first for him, no matter how many lives you have already touched him and done what you want,,,, when he sees that you are happy, no longer as gloomy and unhappy as before, now making him feel like the most beloved boy on earth while drunkenly kissing his red, almost sweet-tasting lips, looking for even more, even if his fingers dig into your clothes, making his feelings more primitive while you kiss, snuggling up to you with his chest red with shame and embarrassment, while his eyelashes tremble with delight and shame, feeling so greedy from how passionate you are and how happy you are.

furfurfur,,,, but, listen,,,,,, when one day he doesn't find you? not that it was strange - to her, at some point he lived without you at all, only with the hope that one day you would meet, but now, living with you, your absence has become much, much, much more painful, as if someone tore the heart out of his chest, and the fact that you can be anywhere, it only makes things worse — even knowing that you will meet, you will inevitably meet, the very fact that he needs to wait even longer makes something inside him break. after all, why should he wait? why should you be subject to the tao? couldn't he be at least a little happier?

why can't he always be with you?

ah ah~ you could? pretty pamna, pretty<333333 mwah♡ yes!!! look, but they're like your puppies, and you can't really tell which one is better or worse when they're both two desperate messes who adore you,,,, they are almost poking into your palms, in which there is a little attention and love to pounce on you with even more zeal, and if you have even more love and attention for them? they become obsessive, giving a billion times more, almost showering you with adoration, as if trying to prove to you how much they can love you, much more than you can even imagine, metaphorically twining around you like two vines around a common support. in the end, no matter what race you belong to, it always attracts attention when they surround you from two sides, even if the ways of their expression and courtship are different, especially considering that they are both unsure of themselves, but at the same time cling to you, trying to attract your attention and flirt — but even in this they are too different, with the passion of Hua Cheng and the softness of Xie Lian<///3 where there are never many of them - there are many, many, many, always many, so many that you can only accept and agree, letting them do whatever they want does no harm to anyone, responding with almost the same obsession, even if your impulse is still weaker due to the fact that there are just two of them and they're both poking and searching,,,,

hehehe,,,, Hua Cheng, who can't help but be clingy and affectionate to you when you showed tenderness to an unnecessary and stray child, trying to give him comfort, looking for memories of your Xie Lian in a familiar child, associated only with a performance at a festival... only so that over time you really start just enjoying time with him. he was a small, skinny kitten, but you felt almost guilty pleasure when you pampered him, replacing the memories of the prince with him, the same needy pet who is constantly looking for attention and loves tenderness, only Hua Cheng is more streetwise and... abandoned, and maybe that's why you don't feel careless or too guilty when you give him food or squeeze his cheeks, almost feeling that you are helping a "common person" when he bites into an apple, looking at you adoring eyes, even if one of them - blood-red - is hidden under bandages. he doesn't look like a delicate flower, - not at all like your Xie Lian, looking like a delicate peony blooming in the snow, - but rather like a flower of ghosts, especially when you can see his eye through the bandage while gently stroking his hair, as if cradling. but you're still good together. as long as Xie Lian is in Heaven, you can't help but feel good around the cute boy, more like a tiny animal eating from your hand. especially when you take care of the temple together, even if other employees often try to drive him away — when you are around, he definitely feels safer and more cared for, almost falling asleep while you sweep the floor, letting him finally be warm and safe while you are quietly busy, taking care that he lies warm and a relatively soft spot, knowing that your lover definitely won't mind a couple of times.

even when the time of war begins, after your long-awaited reunion with Xie Lian, you can't help but be gentle, even realizing that the war requires you to be tough and accept the fact that your affection for any person will only turn into pain, as the war sweeps away anyone, — but Hua Cheng looks like a fragile tiny butterfly, even if he is already a teenager, no longer so reminiscent of a creepy ghost, but this only makes it more unpleasant for you, realizing that this is the child you care about — only to know that he is going to seek death in a war that you do not believe in winning, even realizing that your Prince can bring nothing but resounding success with him.

listen,,,, but when you are curling in the form of a will-o'-the-wisp on his chest, bouncing off if you feel too relaxed, but still snuggling up again almost capriciously dissatisfied, looking for a pleasant yin energy that he does not regret too much, being the same ghost as you, even if, unlike you, he no longer needs in charge and has definitely moved on, although you are sure that for a ghost you are developing even very hastily — he is just a monster in every sense, obviously; when he gently almost teases you, feeling how you bounce back if his energy becomes too much, and he tries to gently and respectfully, with slightly trembling hands, almost stroke you, as if assuring you to relax and stop being so restless, just staying in place. not that you were against such an offer, of course, but you can't control when you try to pull away again — only for him to cover you with his palm, slightly pressing, convincing you to stop fidgeting and twitching, almost hoarsely cooing that in this way you will get a lot more energy, even if you can only spread over his chest (definitely remembering it to him in the future when he will whimper from hypersensitivity though).

when you are looking for your lover after you have finally found physical form, but you cannot deny that you have already begun to get used to Hua Cheng, even more than before, when he was a little turnip — and turned into a pretty elegant cat, not only spoiled by your attention, but also sleek and smoothed, almost homely, when he gently presses his cheek against your shoulder, almost purring, attracting your attention, even more resembling a big, fluffy black cat,,,,, when he is the center of your attention and no one else, letting him huddle even closer and closer, as if he was still the same child, only now you feel that he is looking for not just attention and affection, but also more, much more — and you are not sure if you can give it, even hearing that he will always be your faithful follower, willing to do everything for you.

and in his eyes you see the same stars as in the eyes of Your Prince, even knowing that you promised to be the most devoted admirer of your future spouse.

[panelshowsource]

HEY NOW...

aw thanks anon!! i did post my gif resources a while ago but i can post an updated one of these soon and include some psds! my gifs really aren't that good tho anon — if i'm being honest, i don't really spend that much time on colouring like i could — so if you can find someone PROPERLY good (usually a film/tv blog, as you can imagine) they may have really expert tips 🤔

as someone who has been at the ugliest end of reddit & discord tv/britcom fans' trolldom (too nice a word, really), and lived through the fucking unending years-long era of that one incel's rule over the panel show subreddit, i understand the reticence to participate in those spaces — even though, these days, they're mostly pleasant enough and subs that supply downloads (tv_bunny is life) are more or less transactional. that said, the purpose of this blog has always been to service the people who can't or don't torrent — who a lot of reddit & discord tv/britcom fans don't have the patience for, but i digress — so it doesn't bother me that a lot of my followers don't know reddit as well as i do. no worries!

omg! recently i watched after life (i love kerry godliman!!!!!!!), dara ó briain's new special, and i've also been doing my biannual re-listen of the entire horne section podcast because it is so fucking impeccable chef's kiss! i was catching up on guessable but it's really, deeply, truly mid, so i kinda gave up for a while and switched over to breeders (martin freeman agenda continues). otherwise non-panel show things, some films like close, return to dust, un beau matin, etc. — but that's for my main hehe i'm someone who wishes i could watch 10000 things in one day T_T

hahaha i do get asked this a lot!!! like you there's just so. many. and i often chicken out of substantially answering this because if i forget anyone i'll kick myself SO hard later

but

back in the day i answered a similar question about some non-comedians i want to see on taskmaster AND I SAID AMELIA DIMOLDENBERG AND IT CAME TRUE

LIKE

MY BRAIN 🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠🧠

SO MAYBE I CAN MANIFEST THINGS LET'S TRY 🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮🔮

this is personal to me, of course, and i'm considering people i really love + who i think would be really fun specifically on taskmaster, so in a somewhat priority order...

robert webb

stephen mangan

robert irwin

martin freeman

catherine tate

jessica hynes

miles jupp

simon amstell (preferably on the same season as jessica hynes because about 15 years ago (literally) i used to watch this clip religiously, and i'm sure that has something very specific to say about why i am the way i am but we don't have time to psychoanalyse me rn)

larry dean

ed byrne

holly walsh

diane morgan

daniel radcliffe

charlie brooker

hugh laurie

susie dent (omg i was CACKLING at susie, who is never on panel shows(!!!), being on the same episode of guessable as nick helm — and now i kinda wanna see her on the same series of tm as nick helm muhahaha)

kayvan novak

limmy

paul foot

bill bailey

lawrence chaney (i also love the vivienne of course! but i think lawrence may be more fit for tm while the vivenne is more fit for something like celeb juice; btw just watched her on guessable with ivo graham, and ivo calling her "viv"...omg...it did something to me...it really did...again, we're not talking about why i am the way i am)

vic reeves

the sexted boys

some other randoms people i'd certainly be happy to see, even if they don't make the priority manifesting roster — ahir shah, adam buxton, danny dyer, jimmy carr, graham norton, matt berry, glenn moore, maggie aderin-pocock, gary delaney, hal cruttenden, rhys james, huge davies, josie long, alasdair beckett-king, gino d'acampo, julian barrett, and tonsss of actors but we'd be here all day

i don't think there are many people i vehemently do not want to see on the show. while there are of course a few comedians i just don't like, and if taskmaster puts another tory politician on the panel again i'll fucking write in with my upset, the disappointment i typically feel if and when i see a new lineup is more along the lines of "meh they're fine but they took the place of someone i'd much rather see". but tm is also so good at introducing us to people we may not have seen much of before — and then we love them, so i trust the producers and alex a lot!

🔮 MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING MANIFESTING 🔮

—

WATCH LINKS MASTERPOST / FAQ / TAGS / ASK

[xxlethal-lunaxx]

"You're too old to be acting this way"

"You're an adult now, why do you like toys?"

"Real adults don't do (insert "childlike" activities)"

Ok?...says who? There shouldn't be an issue with liking cartoons or "childish" things. Especially when autistic/neurodivergent we don't believe or recognize social standards, What defines something as just a kid's show? Just because someone has an interest in cute things and cartoons doesn't mean its a bad thing. I didn't have a typical childhood, I lost most of my childhood by having to help raise my siblings and mediate my parents....I had to grow up fast and block out my emotions, indulging in cartoons or allowing myself to reclaim those lost years are not only healing but is also comforting to me. It's scary to know I'm an adult now and that somehow it's some sin for me to watch cartoons and like toys or dolls. I want to heal and feel safe, I want to do those things my younger self could only dream and wish of.

Lately I feel so conflicted because I've been getting more anxiety/panic attacks due to emotional flashbacks which can last me hours, I feel upset because I don't want to feel these emotions and I feel gross at myself for feeling like I'm my younger self. Idk how to explain it and its scary cause I never really experienced this at least not this much until now, I don't like when I mentally feel back in the headspace of my younger self and at times I am scared of my surroundings because I'll feel I'm in a unfamiliar area, I am alone in this because I know I probably sound crazy and I have yet to mention this to my therapist (but will soon). It's involuntary and I hate it because it will be scary usually and the only thing I can do to calm myself down is just do things I'd do at that age, so if I feel I'm mentally in the headspace of 8 then I'd just listen to music or do activities 8 year old me enjoyed. I feel I will be hated or even disowned because of this even tho I am not doing this purposely. When I am criticized for liking kid things it hurts because I am only trying to have and live the life I never really got. Anyway I am exposing myself alot by sharing this but if I don't get this out I feel I'll explode with another panic attack.