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thegothicviking · 4 years ago

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As re-entering a link from herzeleid.com never seem to work (??) I usually copy and paste the actual text. Remember a transcription of Flake chatting with fans that I posted from early 00'? Before this Paul had a similar if not the same chat. I have already too long post in tumblr now so it will be broken down in 2 parts!

PAUL CHAT WITH FANS part I

Transcribed by Jeremy Williams

Taken from Rammstein.com chat

October 26 , 2005

_____________________________

Mod: Hello to you all. Thanks for coming out. Paul will be here in just a few minutes. And then we're going to get started.

Paul: Let's go!

niti: +++

Mod: Sorry, there was a technical problem. But the chat will start soon.

niti: +++

**atomrt: how do you chose the sounds for each song because all of them fit perfectly?**

Paul: Thanks a lot! Sometimes that works out well, sometimes not so well.+++

**maria: Your album covers have always sparked a lot of controversy. Which cover is your favourite and why?**

Paul: The cover for Sehnsucht was the most dramatic in my opinion.+++

**Benzramm: What was coming out of the fake penis during the live act "Bück Dich"? **

Paul: That was water with Ouzo to make it milky.+++

**Beurgueur: Good evening, Have you ever thought to write a metal-opera based on rammstein’ story?**

Paul: Hopefully not. We have enough theater elements already.+++

**MafiUndomiel: I was at River Plate Stadium in Argentina, 1999, when you toured with KISS. You did almost surpassed KISS music and show with your impact, and many people was really impressed. I still remember the silence during Du Hast, as Till was singing the refrain. What do you remember of Argentina, of this show? **

Paul: Yeah, that was unbelievable. It's a shame that we can't play in South America this time. Flake was seriously ill.+++

**MafiUndomiel: Did Till write Te Quiero Puta on his own, or had some kind of external help? I know it's not very complicated, nor elaborated in the lyrics, but it's not easy to put two or three sentences together if you don't know the language... believe me! I'm still trying with German!**

Paul: He had some help from his girlfriend and from Flake's friend from Chile.

Paul: But Till can already speak Spanish so well that he only had a few questions about grammar.+++

**monkeyman: What type of gear do you use when recording in the studio?**

Paul: This would take two hours to list. Too much for now. Sorry.+++

**Hugo: Why did you choose almost the same cover for the japanese version of Reise, Reise and Rosenrot? **

Paul: Because we thought it would be a shame to use the cover only for the Japanese edition.+++

**MafiUndomiel: There are many bands that edited DVD and VHS with the footage they got when they recorded their albums, the creative process and all that stuff. Since many R+ fans are really interested in knowing "Rammstein's kitchen", have you considered releasing something of that kind?

** Paul: I filmed some of the footage during Reise, Reise and it will come out sometime on a DVD as bonus material.+++

**blastedop: What happened to Live DVD? It was delayed? **

Paul: Yeah a little bit, but we're going to try to do it this year.+++

**MafiUndomiel: I wanted to know how did you put your setlists together when you go to a country you've never been... you mix old and new material, or you prefer to show your new material above all, and play only the "classics"? **

Paul: We play a mix of both old and new.+++

**Jenna: As you are possibly the most successful band from Germany (singing in German) that you are expected to represent German music and culture to the rest of the world? **

Paul: It was never our plan to play all over the world.

Paul: Sometimes we wonder ourselves how this all happened.+++

**beurgueur: what american film director would you enjoy to make a ckip with **

Paul: Tarantino.+++

**Benzramm: Did you ever get hurt when you were working with fire on the live acts ? **

Paul: Sometimes.+++

**aeon: One Rammstein member said you had a movie project with Werner Herzog. Do you think this project will be carried out and would you like to act in something different from Rammstein videos ? **

Paul: It's been awhile with WErner herzog. Maybe it will work out, there's still a plan to do it.

Paul: +++

**Rammsteinizied: Dear Paul: What is your favorite live performance effect? (like the flamethrowes in Feuer frei or the bow in DRSG) **

Paul: The nose flame throwers that we use in Feuer frei!+++

**MafiUndomiel: Which was your first guitar? Do you still own it? **

Paul: It was a Telecaster copy. A cheap one. I gave away my first guitars at an auction for a good cause. No idea whether it worked out.+++

**Straya: This has been in my mind for a while now, and I must ask. From the sample songs on the official site, it seems Rosenrot might be your 'hardest/loudest' albums, the songs seem 'hard', in a way, like Ich Will, Feuer Frei, and Mein Teil; what do you think of this? **

Paul: I don't think so. There are fewer sequences so the guitars come out better.+++

**Synthema: Do you still feel that being in Rammstein is almost like being in a six-way marriage? Does the band still function as a tight a unit or have things drifted apart? **

Paul: Yeah.

Paul: We're still together. Knock on wood. We've been together for 10 years and now that we've gone through our crisis, we feel better than ever.

Paul: We've got money, success, beautiful women and all the rest.

Paul: Things can only get worse.+++

**Jenna: Do you think your videos help to stop you taking yourselves too seriously? **

Paul: We've always taken ourselves less seriously than many people think. our best friends know this.

Paul: At the moment, we don't feel like making any humouress videos.+++

**whiskeypapa: When writing a song, how many/what kinds of revisions does the song go through before finally making it onto an album? **

Paul: Some songs make it out directly as we conceived them. With other songs, we make 20 versions and they still don't make it.

Paul: +++

**Noora: HI! I'm a fashion and design student from Finland and I was wondering about your stage costumes...How much do you participate in the designing and making of the outfits that you use on your tours? I understand that every album has its own look. Do you first design the outline of the look as a band and hen consult a designer and maker? Thanx and welcome back to Finland! :)**

Paul: Most ideas come directly from the band. For the last outfit, we had the idea to combine Bavarian folkloric outfits with industrial.

Paul: Because Bavarian folklore is not very cool and we like to mix things that you're not supposed to.+++

**Beurgueur: Have you ever thought in what your life would be now if rammstein never was created?**

Paul: No. We don't think that way.+++

**minx: It’s been stated in several interviews that the band has two pyromaniacs in the group, but is there anyone who is not so fond of fire?**

Paul: Everybody in the band has a different specialty.

Paul: Each of us is really equally important.

Paul: It doesn'T matter what each does, it could be better when two are on vacation during preparation and actually help us to make a good video this way.+++

**Badeend: Who thinks of the titles of the cd's? Is it some kind of democraty or is it 1 man that decides?**

Paul: We make the decision as a group but it's not really a democracy. More like a board of directors.+++

**Biz: How have older industrial bands (such as Laibach or KMFDM) influenced you?**

Paul: A lot.

Paul: Also Ministry.+++

**minx: What is the oily black/brown liquid that you are all covered with on stage? Is it a fire retardant liquid?**

Paul: No.

Paul: That's a secret.+++

**minx: Why did you wear a paper bag over your head at the concert in Tallin, last November?**

Paul: I wanted to display an Iraqi prisoner.

Paul: There's a photo of a guy behind barbed wire and he's holding his son but he has a bag on his head.

Paul: That photo really had an impact on me.+++

**aeon: Why do you only do signing sessions in London and Paris? Why not in other big cities f Europe or even Germany? Or is anything planned? **

Paul: Actually we've only planned for Paris. London snuck in at the last minute.

Paul: I don't know any more signing sessions details right now.+++

**Badeend: Did you take gitar lessons or did you teach it on your self?**

Paul: Self-taught.

Paul: +++

**minx: I am going to be at the signing in London on Sunday. Do you enjoy doing those types of promotional events or are they just ‘hard work’?**

Paul: Sometimes it's a lot of fun but other times it can be exhausting.+++

**Synthema: It could be said that the "Rosenrot" photos are quite a departure image-wise from what one would expect from the band. Was this something that was decided by the band for a particular reason, or is this the sort of decision that is out of your hands? Does your management or record label have much control over how you present yourselves, or is that left to you?**

Paul: We don't like to repeat ourselves.

Paul: Usually the band always has the last word on these amtters. But weR'e not always interested in all of the details.+++

**Badeend: What is the new instrument you used in the song Te Quiero Puta?**

Paul: Trumpet.+++

**beurgueur: do you think you'll be on stage again when you'll be 60? (like rolling stones for example...)**

Paul: Hopefully somebody will die first. Then we won'T have to worry about that.+++

**minx: Do you do you all do own make-up for the shows?**

Paul: Yes.+++

**OK-River: Will Rammstein play again "Bück Dich" in a concert, or it is something of the past?**

Paul: I wouldn't say no.+++

**blastedop: Rosenrot is so diferent from Reise Reise. How is this possible if these songs are from Reise Reise recording season?**

Paul: I don'T think so. Listen to the whole album.+++

**Benzramm: Are you a sort of scared when flake is going with his boat in the public ? **

Paul: No.

Paul: But it was always Oli last year.+++

**whiskeypapa: Which of your songs invokes the most emotion from you?**

Paul: Seemann.+++

**MsBehaviour: Greetings from Finland and good evening! My question is, you have been playing together as a band for quite a many years now, and there is a big difference in the sound of Herzeleid and the sound of Reise Reise. Does this "evolution" come naturally to you, or do you make conscious decisions as to where to direct your sound? How do you feel about the change?**

Paul: There are some of us who want to stay the same.

Paul: There's some of us who want to always change.

Paul: These parties fight each other and the result is a new album or a black eye.+++

**MafiUndomiel: Have you heard a cover version of Keine Lust made by a Russian guy called Miguel? What did you think about it?**

Paul: Not yet, unfortunately.+++

**Badeend: Do you have a private jet or do you have to rent a plane?**

Paul: When the record company pays, we fly Business. When we have to pay, it'S Tourist class. Sometimes, when the connections are difficult, we rent a litlle jet.+++

**luna: First "Snow White" now "Rose Red". Do the members of Rammstein have a fondness for fairytales?**

Paul: Who doesn't?+++

**Synthema: Do you still enjoy performing live after all these years, or is it more of a chore now?**

Paul: If we didn't like it, we wouldn't have been around so long.+++

**Benzramm: Is there a double meaning in the songtexts of your songs ? **

Paul: Yeah. But the subtleties and double-meanings get lsot in translation.+++

**Badeend: What is your favorite song or cd?**

Paul: Kill Bill 1.+++

**DRS2G: Is "Hilf Mir" inspired by a Heinrich Hoffmann's tale?!**

Paul: Yes.+++

**Synthema: Have you ever felt that the success of Rammstein has been a negative thing for you in your personal life? That it makes it difficult to decide who to trust and who not to?**

Paul: It is difficult to stay normal despite money and success.

Paul: We fight this on a daily battle but we usually win.+++

**Beurgueur: from a viewer: what guitar do you use for your c tuning, and what guitar does richard use for this?**

Paul: I play a Gibson Les Paul and Richard plays ESP guitars.+++

**Benzramm: Did you really go to the mountains for the videoclip "Ohne Dich"?**

Paul: Yes. The was the funnest video of them all.

Paul: The thin air up there was difficult.

Paul: I'm impressed by mountain climbers who go even higher.

Paul: It was difficult for our crew and us.+++

**MafiUndomiel: how did you and richard decided who was going to be lead and who rythm guitars?**

Paul: Good question.

Paul: We're both stubborn.

Paul: It's a fight every time but we're still doing alright up to now.

Paul: Actually, the winner is supposed to be the one who plays the best solo.+++

**Badeend: Do you still have to take guitar lessons to play better?**

Paul: No.+++

**blastedop: Do you visit fansites? How about a Top 10 Fansites in the official page?**

Paul: From time to time.+++

**Badeend: Why did you pick just that girl for the Texas vocal in Stirb nich vor Mir?**

Paul: It was our producer's idea.+++

**MafiUndomiel: Paul, is there any country that you´d like to visit or going on tour, and you haven´t yet? Why?**

Paul: Yes, we would love to go to Turkey, Mongolia, Iraq. We know we've got lots of fans there.+++

**Jenna: Which current musicians (Not youselves, I'm sorry) do you think are creating the best work at the moment?**

Paul: System of a Down, Muse, Snoop Doggy Dog, Eminem, Slip Knot, etc.+++

**Rammsteinizied: Dear Paul, How do you feel about us fans?**

Paul: It's an honour.+++

**Minx: Do you have a favourite guitar part in a particular song you really enjoy?**

Paul: +++

**DRS2G: Will "Rosenrot" be the 2nd single from your new album?!**

Paul: Yes.+++

**Straya: I'm wondering how this question has not come up yet... but, plenty of people are asking if you guys will tour in America and Canada. I don't mean for this to be one of those annoying questions. But, has anything be talked about?**

Paul: I'm certain that we'll tour North and South America with our next album.+++

**rammsteinuk: I read in a recent interview that there were some arguments within the band during the production of 'Mutter'. Have there been any more strong disagreements like this since?

**Paul: Thankfully not. There's always stress when six stubborn people meet, but nothing serious.+++

**minx: Most influential musician on yourself?**

Paul: Laibach, Ministry, Metallica, Nirvana.+++

**blastedop: Did you like Benzin video? Schneider didnt.**

Paul: I don't think it's that bad.

Paul: We've had three really good videos in a row, so it'S hard to keep the standards so high.

Paul: I'm glad that there's some variation, next time we'll improve.+++

**whiskeypapa: First, Reise Reise saw a "country moment" with Los, and now Rosenrot has Te Quiero Puta. If you could make a fusion of Rammstein and any other world music (for fun), what would it be?**

Paul: Yes, I interested in all combinations of things that don'T fit together.+++

**Biz: Are there any downsides to being famous?**

Paul: We're famous but we can still buy groceries in Berlin without bodyguards.

Paul: We've got nothing to complain about.

Paul: Our band is famous around the world but we still have normal lives, thank God.+++

**minty: Paul are you looking forward to the world cup next year? who will win?**

Paul: Yes. It doesn'T look good for Germany right now.

Paul: I hope that a miracle happens.+++

**aeon: Do you hope your music will still be appreciated in many years from now or it doesn't matter to you ?**

Paul: I think that we're relatively timeless.

Paul: But that'S probably what every band thinks and two years later nobody cares ...+++

**DRS2G: Was it good to be directed by Jonas Akerlund?!**

Paul: Yes, he's just a cool guy.+++

#I have had this in my draft since forever #I'm sorry if I have already posted this #paul landers #rammstein interview #rammstein #christoph schneider

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blackswaneuroparedux · 4 years ago

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Treat Your S(h)elf: Imperial Boredom: Monotony and the British Empire by Jeffrey A. Auerbach (2018)

The British Empire has had a huge impact on the world in which we live. A brief look at an atlas from before World War One will show over hundred colonies that were then part of the Empire but now are part of or wholly sovereign states. Within these states much remains of the commercial, industrial, legal, political and cultural apparatus set up by the British. In many former colonial areas, political issues remain to be solved that had their genesis during the British era.

The legacy of the British has been varied and complex but in recent years much attention has been on making value judgements about whether the Empire was a good or bad thing. Of course the British Empire was built on the use of and the continual threat of state violence and there were appalling examples of the use of force. As well as the slave trade, there was the Amritsar Massacre in 1919, the 1831 Jamaican Christmas Uprising, the Boer War concentration camps (1899-1902) and the bloody response to the Indian Mutiny of 1857. However, we must not just focus on these events but examine the Empire in all of its complexities.

In the current moment of our times, it would seem that as a nation we are more concerned about beating ourselves up and making the nation feel guilty than understanding how and why the British came to exist, and setting the growth of the British Empire into historical context to be wise about the good, the bad, and the ugly. History has to be scrupulously honest if it’s not to fall prey to propaganda on either side of the extreme political spectrum.

Truth be told I find these questions about the British Empire being good or bad either boring or unhelpful. It doesn’t really bring us closer to the complexity and the reality of what the British Empire was and how it was really run and experienced by everyone.

For myself personally the British Empire was part of the fabric of our family history. The Far East, the Middle East and Africa figured prominently and at the centre of which - the jewel in the crown so to speak - was India. In my wider family clan I’ve come to learn about - through handed down family tales, personal diaries, private papers, and photos etc - the diverse experiences of what certain eccentric characters got up to and they ranged from missionaries in India and Africa to military men strewn across the Empire, from titans of commerce in the Far East to tea farmers in East Africa, from senior colonial civil servants in Delhi to soldier-spies on the North West Frontier (now northern Pakistan).

My own experience of being raised in India, Pakistan as well as parts of the Far East was an adventure before being carted off to boarding school back in Britain and then fortunate in later life to be able to travel forth to these memorable childhood places because of the nature of my work. Having learned the local languages and respectful of customs I have always loved to travel and explore deeper into these profound non-Western cultures. Despite the shadow of the empire of the past I am always received with such down to earth kindness and we share a good laugh. So I always assumed that the British Empire played a central role in the life of Britain has it had in our family history just because it was there. But historians are more concerned with much more interesting questions that challenge our assumptions.

So when I was at university it was a great surprise to me to first read a fascinating history of the British Empire by Bernard Porter called ‘The Absent Minded Imperialists: Empire, Society and Culture in Britain’ (2004). Porter was, in his own words, “mainly a response to certain scholars (and some others) who, I felt, had hitherto simplified and exaggerated the impact of ‘imperialism’ on Britain in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries, after years in which, except by empire specialists like myself, it had been rather ignored and underplayed. […] the main argument of the book was this: that the ordinary Briton’s relationship to the Empire in the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries was complex and ambivalent, less soaked in or affected by imperialism than these other scholars claimed – to the extent that many English people, at any rate, possibly even a majority, were almost entirely ignorant of it for most of the nineteenth century.” It became a controversial book but a welcome one because it was well researched and no doubt made some imperial historians choke on their tea dipped biscuits (and that’s not even counting the historically illiterate post-colonial studies crowd in their English faculties who often got their knickers in a twist).

Years later I read another fascinating collection of scholarly chapters by different historians called ‘Anxieties, Fears, and Panic in Colonial Settings: Empires on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown’ (2016) edited Harald Fischer-Tiné which challenged a rosy vision of Britain’s imperial past by tracing British imperial emotions: the feelings of fear, anxiety, and panic that gripped many Britons as they moved to foreign lands. To be fair both Robert Peckham’s Empires of Panic: Epidemics and Colonial Anxieties (2015) got there before him but Tiné’s history set the trend for others to follow such as Marc Condos’s The Insecurity State: Punjab and the Making of Colonial Power in British India (2018) and Kim Wagner’s Amritsar 1919: An Empire of Fear and the Making of a Massacre (2019).

They all set out their stall by highlighting the sense of vulnerability felt by the British in the colonies. Fisher-Tiné’s edited book in particular highlights the pervasiveness of feelings of fear, anxiety, and panic in many colonial sites. He acknowledges that: “the history of colonial empires has been shaped to a considerable extent by negative emotions such as anxiety, fear and embarrassment, as well as by the regular occurrence of panics.”

The book suggests that these excessive emotional states were triggered by three main causes. First, the European population in British India was heavily dependent on Indian servants and subordinates who might retaliate against unfair masters or whose access to European dwellings could be used by malevolent others to poison the white elite. Second, anxieties about the assumed toxic effects of the Indian climate fuelled also poisoning panics. Diseases such as malaria and cholera were considered to be the ultimate outcome of an “atmospheric poison”. Third, Indian therapeutics and the system of medicine were also identified as a potential cause of poisoning European communities. These poisoning panics only helped reinforce the racial categorisations of Indians, the moral supremacy of the white population, and the legitimacy of colonial rule. Overall the book expanded the understanding of how a sense of fragility rather than strength shaped colonial policies.

Now comes another noteworthy book which again sound a little quirky but is no less meticulous in its research and judicious in its observations. Many books about the British Empire focus on what happened; this book concentrates on how people felt. When I was first given it I was predisposed to be negative because here was a book about ‘feelings’ - the current disease of our decaying western culture. But I was pleasantly surprised.

Was the British Empire boring? So asks Jeffrey Auerbach in his irreverent tome, ‘Imperial Boredom: Monotony and the British Empire’ (2018).

It’s an unexpected question, largely because imperial culture was so conspicuously saturated with a sense of adventure. The exploits of explorers, soldiers and proconsuls – dramatised in Boys’ Own-style narratives – captured the imagination of contemporaries and coloured views of Empire for a long time after its end. Even latter-day historians committed to Marxist or postcolonial critiques of Empire tend to assume that the imperialists themselves mostly had a good time. Along with material opportunities for upward mobility, Empire offered what the Pan-Africanist W.E.B. DuBois called ‘the wages of whiteness’ – the psychological satisfactions of membership in a privileged caste – and an escape from the tedium of everyday life in a crowded, urbanised, ever less picturesque Britain.

The British Empire has been firmly tied to myth, adventure, and victory. For many Britons, “the empire was the mythic landscape of romance and adventure. It was that quarter of the globe that was coloured and included darkest Africa and the mysterious East.” Cultural artifacts such as music, films, cigarette cards, and fiction have long constructed and reflected this rosy vision of the empire as a place of adventure and excitement.

Against this widely held view of the empire, As Auerbach argues here, however, the idea of Empire-as-adventure-story is a misleading one. For contemporaries, the promise of exotic thrills in distant lands built up expectations which inevitably collided with reality.

In a well-researched and enjoyable book, the author argues “that despite the many and famous tales of glory and adventure, a significant and overlooked feature of the nineteenth-century British imperial experience was boredom and disappointment.” In other words, instead of focusing on the exploits of imperial luminaries such as Walter Raleigh, James Cook, Robert Clive, David Livingstone, Cecil Rhodes and others, Auerbach says pay attention to the moments when many travellers, colonial officers, governors, soldiers, and settlers who were gripped by an intense sense of boredom in India, Australia, and southern Africa.

For historians, the challenge is to look past the artifice of texts which conceal and compensate for long stretches of boredom to unravel the truth. Turning away from published memoirs and famous images, therefore, Auerbach trains his eye on the rough drafts of imperial culture: letters, diaries, drawings. He finds that Britons’ quests for novelty, variety and sensory delight in the embrace of 19th-century Empire very often ended in tears. Indeed Auerbach identifies an overwhelming emotion that filled the psyche of many Britons as they moved to new lands: imperial boredom.

Precision in language and terminology is essential and Auerbach begins by setting out what he means by boredom. Adopting Patricia Meyer Spacks’ approach, he points out that the term first came into use in the mid-18th century. Auerbach identifies then the feeling as a “modern construct” closely associated with the mid-18th century where the spread of industrial capitalism and the Enlightenment emphasis on individual rights and happiness that the concept came to the fore. This does not mean that nobody previously suffered from boredom, but that, with the Enlightenment’s emphasis on the individual, this was when the feeling first became conceptualised. Like Spacks, he distinguishes boredom from 19th-century ‘ennui’ or existential world-weariness and also from monotony, which has a much longer history. Whilst a monotonous activity or experience may generate a feeling of boredom, it will not necessarily do so. The two terms must, therefore, not be equated.

Significantly, in a footnote, Auerbach cites a passage from 19th Century English satirical novelist, Fanny Burney, in which an individual is described as ‘monotonous and tiresome’ but, as he emphasises, ‘not boring’. To prevent confusion, the term ‘boring’ is best avoided when describing an activity or experience because this is to beg the question as to whether it does in fact generate feelings of boredom in a particular person.

How then should this state of mind be assessed and what should be seen as the symptoms of imperial boredom? As Auerbach acknowledges, boredom ‘is not a simple emotion, but rather a complex constellation of reactions’. Building on that approach, he says ‘imperial boredom’ reflected ‘a sense of dissatisfaction and disenchantment with the immediate and the particular, and at times with the enterprise of empire more broadly’. If this tends to mix cause and effect, the idea of dissatisfaction and disenchantment essentially mirrors Spacks’ definition of the symptoms of boredom, namely, ‘the incapacity to engage fully: with people, with action, with one’s own ideas’. ‘Imperial boredom’, therefore, was more than a fleeting moment of irritation with a particular situation or person and reflected a mind-set that derived from, and in turn, further contributed to, a sense of disillusionment with the overall project.

It stemmed, so Auerbach argues, from the marked contrast between how empire was represented and how it turned out to be, between ‘the fantasy and the reality’. ‘Empire was constructed as a place of adventure, excitement and picturesque beauty’ but too often lacked these features. Nowhere is this better described than in George Orwell’s Burmese Days, in which the promising young John Flory has become ‘yellow, thin, drunken almost middle-aged’. Beginning with this illustration, Auerbach argues that historians have too often overlooked this essential aspect of empire and sets out to discover the extent to which it was characteristic of what Flory called the ‘Pox Britannica’ more generally.

During the 17th century the British Empire sustained itself on the story that the colonial experience was both righteous and unbelievably exciting. Sea voyages were difficult, and when one eventually did reach landfall there was a good chance of violence, but the exotic foreign cultures, the landscapes, and the wildlife made the trip worthwhile. The British colonialist was meant to be swashbuckling. Advertisements for even the most banal household goods offered colourful and robust propaganda for life in the colonies. Travelogues and illustrated accounts of colonial exploration were wildly lucrative for London publishing houses. All of this attracted a crowd of young Brits eager to escape the drudgery of life in the metropole.

By the 19th century, expectations were catching up. As Auerbach makes it clear, from the beginning, the sense of boredom experienced by many Britons in new colonial settings was much more profound during the nineteenth century. Indeed, the latter was marked by a series of bewildering social, cultural, and technological changes that stripped the empire of its sense of novelty. The development of new means of transport such as steamships, the rise of tourism, and the proliferation of guidebooks jeopardised the sense of risk, newness, enthusiasm that had long been associated with the British imperial experience. Consequently, while “the early empire may have been about wonder and marvel, the nineteenth century was far less exciting and satisfying project.

Auerbach spent 20 years gathering evidence spanning the late 18th century to the turn of the 20th, which records feelings of being bored, miserable and deflated. It’s a captivating history of imperial tedium drawn from memoirs, diaries, private letters and official correspondence. In “reading against the grain”, as Auerbach puts it, he has focused on recorded events normally skimmed over by historians, precisely for being boring – multiple entries repeated over and over again about the weather, train times, shipping forecasts, deliveries, lists and marching; or about nothing ever happening.

In five thematic chapters, “Voyages”, Landscapes,” Governors,” Soldiers”, and “Settlers,” Auerbach shines new light on the experience of traversing, viewing, governing, defending and settling the empire from the mid-eighteenth century to the early twentieth century. The monotonous nature of the sea voyage, dreary and uninteresting imperial lands, daily routine, depressingly dull dispatches, mind-numbing meetings are some of the sources of an utter sense of imperial boredom.

Whilst the first chapter, Voyages, may be the logical starting-point, it presents particular problems. They may have been monotonous, but it is unlikely that they would have engendered feelings of disenchantment and disillusion at the outset of an empire life or career. Auerbach begins with the somewhat surprising assertion that ‘not until the first half of the 19th century did long-distance ocean travel become truly monotonous’, arguing that this was because, until then, the weather had been ‘a source of danger and discomfort’ whereas, by the mid-19th century, ‘it was barely worth mentioning’. Leaving aside the obvious difficulties with that approach – many 19th-century travellers, assuming they survived, described enduring terrifying typhoons in the Indian Ocean and South China Sea – voyages certainly could be monotonous, particularly, when steam replaced sail.

However, his assertion that this ‘helped to produce feelings of boredom that had never been felt before’ is more questionable. For example, whilst Sir Edmund Fremantle (1836–1929) wrote in his memoirs that, although the sea passages were ‘monotonous’, ‘it never occurred to [him] to be bored’, Auerbach suggests that, ‘in several places his memories [sic] belie his claims’, in that they refer to the ‘the monotony’ of various experiences, including cruising out of harbour under steam rather than under sail, which ‘always possessed some interest’. But, this not only contradicts what Fremantle wrote but also equates boredom with monotony and, thus, deprives it of any proper meaning.

Similarly, because the Royal Naval Surgeon, Edward Cree (1814–1901) recorded his passing the time ‘reading, drawing, walking on deck, eating drinking and sleeping’, Auerbach concludes that ‘almost every leg of his 1839 journey to the East was boring or disappointing’. However, he omits the opening words of this journal entry which reads, ‘making but slow progress towards China. Weather intolerably hot … The time passes pleasantly enough on board’, which suggests he was certainly not bored. Much of this chapter is not concerned with monotony but with how ‘dreadful’ sea voyages could be, particularly, for travellers to Australia, most of all transported convicts, who, as he shows, had to endure the most brutal conditions. But they had no expectations of empire and this seems to add little to the understanding of imperial boredom.

It may well be that, because voyages were so unpleasant, travellers became all the more expectant and thus disappointed, when, on arriving, they found, as Auerbach argues in the next chapter, that much of the landscape was dreary and uninteresting. Moreover, many could not decide whether they were in search of a landscape that was picturesque and exotic or ‘normalised’ by reproducing English architecture, gardens and surroundings. This dichotomy generated further disenchantment.

If Auerbach dwells too long on obscure painters who often had little success in making these imperial landscapes picturesque, there is no doubt that many of them were monotonous, not least the vast tracts of Australian out- back. Consequently, whilst ‘the early empire may have been about wonder and marvel, the 19th century was a far less exciting and satisfying project’ and this contributed to feelings of boredom.

In the chapter, ‘Governors’, Auerbach essentially covers the administration of the empire. Here, there was also a lot of monotony, although Auerbach wavers between whether this was caused by having too much or too little work to do. Either way, it leads to the assertion that ‘throughout the nineteenth century and into the twentieth, British imperial administrators at all levels were bored by their experience, serving king or queen and country’. However, this is qualified in the next paragraph, in which he cites the Marquess of Hastings, who served in India in the early 1800s, and Lord Curzon, who served as Viceroy at the end of the century, neither of whom, he says, suffered from boredom. It was ‘during the middle decades, that imperial service was far less stimulating’ but he does not explain why it should have been limited to this particular phase.

Indeed, in terms of the staggering quantity of paper generated by the ICS, the problem stretched back to the early 18th century. Records were copied and recopied, and months were spent waiting on instruction from London. The few encounters with colonised subjects came in the form of long, drawn-out formal events. Lord Lytton as Viceroy of India between 1876-1880 was required to bow 1230 times during one particularly ceremonial reception with the Viceroy.

Whilst it is ultimately fruitless to exchange examples of officials who did and did not find government service boring, some of those chosen by Auerbach are not convincing. James Pope Hennessy, for example, the eccentric Irishman who delighted in antagonising the colonials and endearing himself to the indigenous people with his unconventional views on racial equality, certainly found the European life-style monotonous but, as a result, made sure he kept ceaselessly active. In the words of his biographer, ‘the chief impression [he] made on British and Orientals alike was one of superlative vitality. “He would do better”, wrote Sir Harry Parkes “if he had less life”’, Coming from Parkes, that arch- imperialist, who allegedly died from over-work and could never have been bored, the comment is telling.

While idleness certainly contributed to boredom, it was often the labour of maintaining colonial control that proved to be the most dull. Increasingly professionalised, the management of the colonies became characterised by strict report-making, bookkeeping and low-stakes decision-making related to staff. Whilst these officials may have become disenchanted, it is unclear what sort of mind-set they had when they started out: according to Auerbach, ‘they may well have entered imperial service out of a sense of duty, or perhaps looking forward to a colonial sinecure that offered status and adventure as well as a generous salary, but instead found themselves inundated by a volume of paperwork and official obligations that they had never anticipated, and which they found to be, quite frankly boring’. As a result, they were ‘eager to escape the tedium of the empire they had built’.

Whilst this suggests that, as a result, they threw up their empire careers, the example of Sir Frank Swettenham does not seem to fit the picture. He may have found life from time to time ‘extraordinarily dull’, but he continued as a government official in the Malay States for thirty years, before retiring in 1901. His belief in the imperial cause seems to have overcome the dullness and trumped any possible disenchantment.

In the chapter entitled, Soldiers, Auerbach concedes that ‘the link between military service and boredom can be traced at least to the mid-eighteenth century’. However, he argues, what was different in the 19th century was that boredom was no longer simply ‘incidental or ‘peripheral;’ it was ‘omnipresent’ and this was ‘a function of unmet expectations’, namely, the unsatisfied thirst for action and bloody combat as the ‘small wars’ of the Victorian age became shorter and fewer. However, citing Maeland and Brunstad’s Enduring Military Boredom, he concedes that this omnipresent boredom is a ‘condition that persists to the present day, especially among enlisted men’. This, therefore, divests it of any imperial character and suggests that it was, and remains a feature of modern military service.

Nonetheless, it would have been interesting to know how this boredom affected the performance of the military in the context of empire. Certainly, it gave rise to some of its more unsavoury aspects, with drunken soldiers brawling and beating up the locals and spending much of their time in the local brothels.

According to Richard Holmes, by 1899, there was ‘a real crisis’ in the infection rates of venereal disease of British soldiers in the Indian Army: ‘for every genteel bungalow on the cantonment … there were a dozen young men, denizens of a wholly different world, crossing the cultural divide every night’. Here was imperial boredom in the raw and urgent measures had to be taken to abate its consequences.

Although the final chapter is entitled ‘Settlers’, it encompasses a much broader category of imperial agents, including women, who until this point have been little- mentioned, and, in particular, women in India ‘most of whom went there in their early twenties to work (or to accompany their husbands who were working) and then typically left by the time they reached their fifties to retire in Britain’. It is unclear why these women and, indeed the whole topic of women in empire, should be subsumed under this chapter heading, given their importance in the empire project and the attention given to them in post-colonial scholarship.

In recent scholarship, empire white women have been frequently misrepresented and lampooned in the literature, including the novels of E. M. Forster, George Orwell, and Paul Scott and all too often reincarnated as representing the worst side of the ruling group – its racism, petty snobbishness and pervading aura of superiority and shown as shallow, self-centred and pre-occupied with maintaining the hierarchy of their narrow social worlds. They have invariably been portrayed as both bored and boring.

The wives of these officials were encouraged to run their households in a similar way, managing a large domestic staff and keeping a meticulous watch on financial expenditures. Socially, they were faced with constant garden parties and dinners with whatever small group of colonial families lived nearby. It’s difficult to imagine just how dull the existence of these administrators must have been, yet in reading these colonial accounts, the temporality and the totalising effects of boredom feel undeniably similar to the way that we describe the monotony of work today.

Auerbach effectively reiterates the trope as a clichéd illustration of a female, reclining aimlessly on a chaise longue, conjuring up the familiar image of ‘the same women [who] met day after day to eat the same meals and exchange the same banal pleasantries’ and concluding that ‘it was not only in India that women were bored, which suggests that the phenomenon was not a localised one, but a broader imperial one’.

Of course many western women did find life in empire monotonous and suffered from boredom, if not depression, and no doubt many were insufferable, as were their husbands, but there is an alternative image and the analysis is so generalised that their contribution is, once again, in danger of being dismissed out of hand.

A more nuanced approach would have examined ways in which women overcame their boredom by pursuing activities in which they were anything but bored, including, most obviously, the missions, a category which, despite its importance, does not feature, save for one cursory comment to the effect that, ‘even missionary women, whose sense of purpose presumably kept them inspired, could find themselves bored’. The example given is that of Elizabeth Lees Price, who, at one point during her eventful life, had to help run three schools for 30,000 pupils. But, just because her diary recorded ‘with increasing frequency’ the comment ‘nothing has happened’, it seems a stretch to infer, as Auerbach does, that ‘not even missionary work was enough to stave off the boredom that afflicted women all across the empire’.

For Auerbach, recuperating boredom means reframing the experience of empire as one of failure and disappointment. In the context of colonial scholarship, which tends to focus on the violence of colonialism and the myth-making that went along with it, Auerbach’s book is rather counter-intuitive. He drains the power of these myths, looking instead at the accounts of those responsible for building empire from the ground up: “What if they were not heroes or villains, builders or destroyers,” he writes, “but merely unexceptional men and women, young and old, rich and poor, struggling, often without success, to find happiness and economic security in an increasingly alienating world?” The agents of colonialism struggled to find any semblance of agency in the work that they were doing. Imperial time stretched out, deadened over decades of appointment in far off islands and desert outposts: a sort of watered down version of Hannah Arendt’s “banality of evil” in paradise.

Whilst Auerbach demonstrates that much of empire life was monotonous, to my mind, he is too quick to infer that this monotony necessarily gave rise to feelings of ‘imperial boredom’, properly so-called. He also too easily assumes that, where people were bored, this could only operate in a negative way and, whilst he may be right in concluding that, ultimately, ‘the British were, quite simply bored by their empire’, he fails to draw the evidence together to explore what impact imperial boredom had on the development of empire, for better or worse, during the long 19th century.

If not quite an invention of the 19th century, boredom was a particular preoccupation of the period: the product of new assumptions about the separation of work and leisure and a prominent theme of fin-de-siècle literature. Less clear is whether Auerbach is right to treat boredom separately from other emotional states – anxiety, loneliness, anger, fear – which afflicted the imperialist psyche. After all, a long literary tradition – from Conrad to Maugham, Orwell, Lessing and Greene – describes precisely how those varied shades of neurosis blended into one another.

Besides, a more capacious history of discontent and Empire might help to connect the frustrations of the imperialist experience to the suffering of imperial subjects. When, for instance, did boredom turn to aggression and violence? One danger of Auerbach’s approach in Imperial Boredom is to portray an enervated and under-stimulated, yet still extraordinarily powerful, elite as more or less passive.

As imperial rivalry intensified towards the end of the century, so did the quest for new ways of staving off boredom, not only for men in the British Empire but also for those in the other European empires, and war was one of the most obvious solutions.

As other imperial historians have argued, what Europeans were seeking was everything the nineteenth century, in its drawn-out tedium, had denied them. War as Cambridge historian Christopher Clark has argued, “was going to empower them and restore a sense of agency to their limbs and lives.” Auerbach refers to what Clark called ‘the pleasure culture of war’, citing the example of Adrian de Wiart who, serving in the Boer War, knew ‘once and for all, that war was in my blood. I was determined to fight and I didn’t mind who or what’. But he does not explore the consequences of this mood further, other than to say that these adventurers also ‘ended up bored … and disillusioned’. But, the implications were, arguably, much more far-reaching.

Even if it was not directly causative, this mood was ‘permissive’ of the more direct causes and certainly formed part of the background against which Europe went to war in 1914. It may be thought that it did so in a fit of imperial boredom.

I admire the audacity of Auerbach’s writing and as a revisionist piece of history it has the dash and dare of British imperialism and colonialism. But after reading the book I came away thinking that sweeping statements such as that the empire developed “in a fit of boredom” are a tad unconvincing.

Although he spent about 20 years collecting materials, Auerbach seems not to have visited Africa or India during his research. Had he done so, I doubt if he would all too easily accepted that colonial accounts of being bored represented the full experience. Absent are deeper discussions of how expressions of being bored are linked to racism, arrogance and the need to assert power in exotic, challenging and unstable environments. Emotional detachment, disdain and a demand to be entertained were also part of a well-rehearsed repertoire of domination.

But where Auerbach does succeed is in admirably capturing the texture of everyday imperialist life as few historians have. Most of these examples are compellingly relevant and illustrative of some of the colonial circumstances that drove Britons mad with boredom, challenging one of the enduring myths about the British Empire as a site of exciting adventure.

If you are a lover of histories of white imperial rulers and thumbnail portraits, this book is for you. It’s full of excellent quotes. Lord Lytton, for example, fourth choice to be governor-general of India in 1875 (and appalled by the prospect), later summed up the British Raj as “a despotism of office-boxes tempered by the occasional loss of keys”. It was certainly the case that propaganda about empire and the populist books written about it to make money created false expectations, leading to bitter disillusionment. Nostalgists for the age of pith helmets and pukka sahibs will find little comfort here.

In mining the gap between public bombast and private disillusionment, Auerbach demonstrates that – even for its most privileged beneficiaries – Empire was almost never a place where fantasy became reality. I would suggest that rather than the British Empire being mostly boring, more accurate would be David Livingstone’s verdict on exploratory travel while battling dysentery: “it’s not all fun you know.”

The concept of imperial boredom provides a novel and illuminating lens through which to examine the mind-set of men and women working and living in empire, how it was that, despite the crushing monotony, so many persisted in the endeavour and what this tells us about the empire project more generally. There are all states of mind familiar to historians of empire (in the lives of their subjects, of course). It has long been argued that strategies to relieve moments of white boredom in the empire included cheating and adultery, husband hunting, trophy wife hunting, massive consumption of alcohol, gambling, copious diary and letter writing, taxidermy, berating the servants, prostitution, bird-watching, game hunting, high tea on the verandah, fine pearls and ball gowns, all were par for course in the every day lives for those bored British colonisers.

Auerbach’s book reminds me of a not so nice female character bemoans James Fox’s scandalous but true to life colonial novel White Mischief (1982), as she looked out over the Rift Valley in 1940s colonial Kenya, she declares, “Oh God! Not another fucking beautiful day.”

An earnest post-colonialist studies reader might might feel triggered by such a flippant remark as evidence of all that was wrong with the imperial project but at heart it’s a pitiful lament disguised as boredom at the gilded cage the British built for themselves to capture the enchantment and disenchantment of every day life in the British Empire.

#treat your s(h)elf #books #book review #bookgasm #reading #imperialism #british empire #boredom #british #history #colonialism #imperial boredom #jeffrey auerbach #empire #personal #bio #childhood

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benyhw · 4 years ago

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Day 3 - Reflections on emotional maturity

"Wielding sensible arguments can at points be as effective as telling a person with vertigo that the balcony wont collapse or a person with depression that there are perfectly good grounds to be cheerful" A lot of our mind is not amenable to hard-headed logic, not when emotions are involved

Yet, truly facing and understanding our emotions and then still be able to act with some rationality and logic is a testament to emotional maturity. There is more to love, forgiveness, trust than what we think we know.

I am sorry for my hurtful words, said in times of emotional turmoil. I regret my texts and posts, impulsive and raging. I've spent a lot of time reflecting on my actions, your thoughts and feelings and ultimately your decision. The turmoil I initially faced was truly a mixture of shock from how sudden things changed as well as the immense void your disappearance has caused. Given time, I have calmed down and could examine myself deeper on many levels.

I learned that I can be loved and that I can have wants and needs. I learned that my careless acts can hurt even when I don't recognise it at that point of time.

I know my mistakes and can see its damages. I triggered this whole chain of events, rocking what was a seemingly stable relationship. I see that we are flawed, but not un-deserving of love. Our innate reactions and nature is built upon by our past, regardless whether we consciously know it or not. Some traumas and hurt that forms our current insecurities are born from history we may not even remember. Though this doesn't discount our current wrongs, it does help to allow us to understand people better.

I do know, that I can and should listen to what I want and love, not only to that of other's demands or requests. I can be selfish in love and loving. I can earnestly seek forgiveness and then put in action to repent and atone for the wrongs I've made. Yet forgiveness and moving on from the hurt I've caused, is not mine to give or take. It is for me to earn and for you to heal from. I can only do what I believe is best, in terms of my love for you and love for myself. I do feel, we both have a lot to learn in terms of emotional maturity and have ways to go to truly understand what it means to love, to hurt, to trust and to forgive.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGV5o6UHjxM - Stay in or Leave a Relationship We expect to be deeply happy in love, and, therefore, spend a good deal of time wondering whether our relationships are essentially normal in their sexual and psychological frustrations or are beset by unusually pathological patterns which will impel us to get out as soon as we can. What films or novels we've been exposed to, the state of our friend's relationships, the degree of noise surrounding new sexually driven dating aps, not to mention how much sleep we've had, can all play humbling large roles in influencing us one way or another. How much of our unhappiness can be tightly attributed to this particular partner, and how much might it, as we would risk discovering five years later and multiple upheavals later, turn out to be simply and inherent feature of any attempt to live in close proximity to another human? Try to have another conversation with your partner in which you don't accuse them of mendacity, and instead simply explain, quite calmly, how you actually felt and how sad you are at quite a few things Consider the annoying traits in all previous partners we've had and people we've known, that our current partners happen to not have, what do we manage not to fight about?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLq1ktogxn4 - What infidelity means There are, of course, many cases where infidelity means exactly what Romanticism takes it to mean: contempt for one’s relationship. But in a great many other cases, it may mean something really rather different: a passing, surface desire for erotic excitement that coexists with an ongoing, sincere commitment to one’s life-partner. The best way to recover after an infidelity may therefore be to ignore what Romanticism tells us that infidelity has to mean, and to consult instead a more reliable source of information: what we ourselves took infidelity to mean the last time the idea crossed through our minds or our lives. It is on this basis that we may – with considerable pain of course – come one day to be able to forgive and even in a way understand and accept the apologies of a repentant partner. It is on the basis of subjective experience of unfaithful thoughts that we may redemptively enrich, complicate and soften what happens when we end up as their victims.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRaaqN2Atxw - Why We Go Cold On Our Partners Going cold is, in this story, simply the unavoidable consequence of familiarity. he loss of interest isn’t either natural or inevitable. The boredom is something at once more complicated and more active. It exists because we feel hurt by, angry with, or scared of our partner and because we haven’t found a cathartic way to tell ourselves or them about it. Tuning out isn’t inevitable, it’s a symptom of disavowed emotional distress. It’s a way of coping. We’re internally numbed – not just a touch bored. To learn to cope, we need a prominent mutual awareness and forgiveness of this dynamic of sensitivity and distress – and a commitment to decode it when disengagement and indifference descend. When we've gone cold, we may not truly have lost interest in our partners, we might just need an opportunity to imagine that we are quietly really rather hurt and furious with them and we should access to a safe forum in which our tender but critical feelings can be aired, purged and understood without risk of humiliation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgQvqi6aYD8 - The Secret of Successful Relationships: Rupture and Repair Repair refers to the work needed for two people to regain each other's trust and restore themselves in the others mind as someone who is essentially decent and sympathetic and can be a good enough interpreter of their needs Repair isn't just one capacity among others, it is arguably the central determinant of one's mastery of emotional maturity Good repair relies on at least 4 separate skills: The ability to apologise The ability to forgive - To do so requires us to extend imaginative sympathy for why good people can end up doing some pretty bad things, not because they are evil but because they are in their varied ways tired or sad, worried or weak. It lends us energy to look around for the most generous reasons why fundamentally decent people can at points behave less than optimally. We cling to rupture because it confirms a story which, though deeply sad at one level, also feels very safe: that big emotional commitments are invariably too risky, that others can't be trusted, that hope is an illusion The ability to teach - They give their listener time and know about defensiveness and as a fallback, accept that they may have to respect two different realities. They can be in the end bear to accept that they will always be a bit misunderstood even by someone who loves them very much The ability to learn - They have a lively and non-humiliating sense of how much they still have to take on board. It isn't a surprise or a cause for alarm that someone might level a criticism at them. Its merely a sign that a kindly soul is invested enough in their development to notice areas of immaturity, and in the safety of a relationship, to offer them something almost no one otherwise even bothers with: feedback.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ci-zID4EAPU - How to deal with trust issues 1. Ask yourself how your reactions line up with reality - The thoughts we may have may not always be an honest perception of what is happening 2. Learn to be non defensive when you communicate - Chances are, people take the time to talk to you because they care about you and not because they want to hurt you 3. Let people know what you need and be direct about it - In order to build trust, you have to be open and honest. People often have trust issues because they are afraid of getting hurt. Trust issues are developed when too much focus is concentrated on the pain, but not enough on overcoming the pain. 4. Give people a chance to show you who they are - Give people time to show you their true colours, and you may be surprised that you can go through challenges well together 5. Practice open-ended conversations that allow disagreements 6. Confront your fears and don't allow them to hold control over you - Remember, you have the power to work through your struggles openly and honestly. You have it in you to connect and build trust with others

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-K5btaxEFY - How to forgive It can be so hard to forgive because – so often – we simply are in the right and the scale of the folly, thoughtlessness and meanness of others seems utterly beyond our own measure. But there are 2 inviolable ideas which should nevertheless, in the face of the grossest behaviour, be kept in mind to increase our changes of being able to forgive: 1. We must remember how the other person got there, to this place of idiocy and cruelty - Every irritating fault in another person has a long history behind it. They became like this because of flaws in their development, which they did not choose for themselves. To forgive is to understand the origins of evil and cruelty 2. There are difficult things about you too - Not in any area remotely connected to the sort of lapses that destroy your faith in humanity. But in some areas, quiet areas that you forget about as soon as you've travelled through them, you too are a deeply imperfect and questionable individual. Gently, you have - in your own way - betrayed. Nicely, you have been a coward. Modestly, you have forgotten your privileges'. Unthinkingly, you have added salt to the wounds of others. We must forgive because - not right now, not over this, but one day, over something - we need to be forgiven too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVeq-0dIqpk - How to build (and rebuild) trust There is 3 facets of trust: Authenticity in actions, Rigor in logic and communicating that logic, True empathy towards the other

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhyfBi-Ad4c - Loving and Being Loved We start knowing only about being loved. It comes to seem, very wrongly, like the norm. Parent and child may both love, but each party is on a very different end of the axis, unbeknownst to the child This is why adulthood, when we first say we long for love, what we predominantly mean is that we want to be loved as we are once loved by a parent In a secret part of our minds, we picture someone who will understand our needs, bring us what we want, to be immensely patient and sympathetic to us, act selflessly, and make it all better we need to move firmly out of the child and into the parental position of love To be adults in love, we have to learn, perhaps for the very first time, to do something truly remarkable, for a time at least, to put someone else ahead of us.

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I know, making this decision has not been easy on you. You struggled internally alone for 5 weeks before taking the brave step to pursue what you believed was right now. I can only imagine the turmoil you've been put through. I cannot and will not blame you for loving yourself more.

When I look at myself and what I've gone through in the past weeks, I do wonder how you are coping along as well. I do believe in what we had, which meant that these days were probably not as easy on you too as you make it seem. I never imagined that my actions were seen as infidelity to you and that while we know it was not ill-intentioned, the feelings you've felt and the hurt I've caused you are valid.

I hope the above few points and videos can eventually help you to heal and move on, to feel ok enough to love another again some day. I am always here to openly talk about us, about our feelings and about what we each want now or in the future for ourselves. In the past 2.5 years, have you done and said anything to anyone or just innately felt that you would feel afraid to tell me of? Has there ever been any breach of trust on your end or guilt, before my current mistake that made you feel betrayed? I am open, with no judgement or shame, to talk about these, if you are ever willing. I have done you wrong, and I truly have repented. I will never ever breach trust like that ever again, not even at the cost of feeling uncomfortable in sharing how I feel.

I too will love myself, doing my utmost best to pursue things I want and love because they make me happy. It is ok to be selfish in love, something I have learned from you that I am grateful for. Take care, I am only 1 text away

Love, Ben

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theouijagirl · 5 years ago

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The Warren Curse: Detailing the harm caused to the supernatural community by the Warrens. Part 4: The Enfield Poltergeist

On the night of August 31st, 1977, Peggy Hodgson called the police. Two of her four children, Janet and John, had heard some strange noises in their room. Peggy rushed in, and witnessed a large chest of drawers slide across the room. Peggy was a single mother, alone with the children in the house, so they rushed over to their neighbors for help. The neighbors came over, and also heard strange knocking sounds in the children’s room... and every other room that they entered. When the police arrived, they witnessed a chair slide across the room. And so began the two year saga of the Enfield Poltergeist.

The story became so notorious that it went down in history as one of the best archived hauntings, with lots of video evidence and photos of various incidents. It also had multiple witnesses, from neighbors to journalists to paranormal investigators, which is really unlike most haunting stories. It became so notorious that it was used as the plot of the film The Conjuring 2, in which the two main characters were Ed and Lorraine Warren. The fictional Ed and Lorraine save the family and expel the demon haunting the home, thus becoming the heroes of the story. The real Ed and Lorraine insisted that the Enfield case was one of the definitive hauntings that prove demonic possession is real, and swore up and down that the haunting was completely true.

Except that it wasn’t. Basically all of the major activity was debunked as a prank. Almost all of the paranormal investigators involved with the case agree to this, and even Janet admitted to faking most of the haunting. Only two people held tight to their belief that there was a demon haunting the house: Ed and Lorraine Warren.

Most of the activity centered around eleven-year-old Janet, and her sister, twelve-year-old Margaret. Small items, like Legos, would fly across the room. Doors opened and closed on their own. Footsteps, knocks, and bangs echoed through the home. Which was very standard poltergeist behavior. Peggy wanted as many witnesses to this activity as possible, and invited over pretty much everyone in her neighborhood in Enfield, a small borough of North London. There are a long list of witnesses, including people who were just passing by and saw things flying past the windows. Peggy was desperate for help, and wasn’t able to get any from local clergy and city council members, so she contacted the media. And that’s when stuff started to get weird.

The activity changed from basic poltergeist phenomena to the stuff you only see in movies. Janet was captured in photos being thrown out of her bed. She started speaking in a gruff, low voice that swore a lot, and referred to itself by a man’s name. Spoons were found bent. The increase in activity brought in all kinds of investigators, from the paranormal to scientists to regular journalists eager for a scoop, and soon plenty of articles in gossip newspapers like The Daily Mail appeared. Photographs of Janet being tossed across her bedroom were published, and many TV news journalists were able to interview “The Voice” through Janet, and have it on film.

Two paranormal investigators stayed in the Enfield home to chronicle everything: Guy Lyon Playfair and Maurice Grosse. They are considered the foremost experts on the case, along with a few other paranormal investigators who came by, via invitation, to check out the home. They also invited a slew of other professionals to investigate, such as magicians, ventriloquists, mediums, psychologists, and plenty of scientists to analyze everything from the house to Janet’s vocal chords. It was clear that, while the haunting activity was hot, Playfair and Grosse wanted as much proof and analysis of the haunting as they could. Which is what a good investigator does.

Very randomly, one night, Ed and Lorraine Warren showed up at the home. They had not been invited, and asked to interview Janet and check out the home. Playfair says that the Warrens were there for less than a day, and that at one point Ed had pulled him aside to explain how he could make a lot of money off of the haunting. Playfair quickly dismissed him. Janet would later say that she has no memory of meeting them.

Over time, a lot of the evidence of the haunting fell through. Motion cameras were set up around the home to detect any activity, and it picked up videos of Janet bending spoons. Everyone who analyzed the photos of Janet being tossed out of her bed clearly stated that they just looked like a girl jumping off the bed. The voice that came from Janet had a lot of her habits and manners of speech, and sometimes Janet would mean to say something in the voice and accidentally used hers, and sometimes vice versa. Activity most often happened off camera, or when nobody was around to witness it besides Janet and Margaret. Eventually, Janet and Margaret came clean about faking evidence, and many investigators (and me) came to the conclusion that while the activity could have started with actual paranormal activity, it turned into a sideshow for these girls to show off.

The Enfield Poltergeist reminds me of another famous hoax, created by teenage girls just for attention. The Cottingley Fairies were a series of photographs taken by two young cousins, which shows them hanging around in their garden with a bunch of fairies. At the time, people were baffled, and many (including Sir Arthur Conan Doyle) believed they were genuine. It later came out that these girls had just cut out pictures of fairies from their storybooks and placed them just so, in order to make them look real. It was basically the first ever photoshop. Teenagers wanting and gaining attention is nothing new, and in this day and age it’s easier than ever, thanks to Instagram and YouTube. So for us now, it’s a little hard to imagine why some girls would fake something like this, whether it be photos or demonic possession, but at the time it was definitely addicting.

Only two paranormal investigators have never said that the Enfield Poltergeist wasn’t a hoax: Ed and Lorraine Warren. They added the story to their official case files, stating that Janet was clearly demonically possessed and that she even was levitating out of her bed while sound asleep, something that nobody else claims ever happened. The Warrens were the least educated about the haunting, and yet, when the Hollywood movie comes out about it, they are the main characters. Thanks to The Conjuring 2, the Warrens are synonymous with the Enfield Poltergeist, even though they have nothing to do with it.

My blog series is called The Warren Curse because, in my eyes, these two placed a curse on the paranormal community, bamboozling people into believing their lies, from regular people with little interest in the paranormal, to very serious figures in the community who have their own TV shows and movie deals. It’s why the angry messages I get about this series only come from people who have studied the Warren’s case files and nothing else, and consider themselves novice demonologists. The Enfield Poltergeist case just shows how deep the Warren’s fraud goes. In Playfair’s own words, “...they just wanted to make money off it.” Playfair, at the end of the day, truly wanted to believe in the haunting, even though he actually caught Janet in the middle of her setting up numerous pranks. Until his death, he truly believed there was a poltergeist in the home. So the fact that he still considered Ed Warren to be a money-hungry liar, who definitely fabricated stories about the haunting, should be proof enough that the Warrens are frauds.

There are a lot of sources out there about this case. There are a huge number of gossip magazine articles about the haunting as it was going on, and plenty more describing how it was all a hoax, so these are just the most interesting sources I’ll pull for you, and the rest you can Google. Here is Playfair’s interview about the Warren’s involvement in the haunting case. Here is a Skeptical Inquirer article about the case, which includes some nice tidbits about how the Warrens are notorious liars. Here’s an America’s Most Haunted article comparing the plot of The Conjuring 2 to the actual haunting. And here’s the writeup from the organization that Playfair and Grosse belonged to, The Society For Psychical Research, with lots of details about the haunting. Their writeup, along with many other articles I read about the facts of the haunting, have no mention of the Warrens, and doesn’t mention any of their claims. Because they weren’t involved, and they lied about what they saw.

Next I’ll be diving in the Perron family haunting, which was the source material for the first Conjuring movie, where Ed and Lorraine not only appear as characters, but actually cameo in the movie. You can check out my other articles in this series by following the hashtag #thewarrencurse, and if you learned something, or are grateful that I didn’t link you to the horrendous audio clips of The Voice, as I sat through them so you don’t have to, you can buy me a coffee.

And like every stupid horror trope, Janet claimed that she played a Ouija board before all this haunting stuff happened. My blog deals primarily with Ouija related content, so feel free to check it out and see for yourself why blaming the Enfield Poltergeist on a Ouija board is the dumbest.

#enfield poltergeist #haunting #ed and lorraine warren #ed warren #lorraine warren #the conjuring #the conjuring 2 #ghosts #spirits #demons #the warrens #theouijagirlblogs #thewarrencurse

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readyplayerhobi · 6 years ago

Text

Big Bad Wolf

; Wolf Shifter!Hoseok x Rabbit Shifter!Reader

; Genre: Fluff, smut, teeny tiny angst

; Word Count: 11.7k

; Warnings: Possessive behaviour, dom!Hobi, sub!reader, multiple orgasms, creampie, unprotected sex, thigh riding, impregnation kink, breeding kink, sex toy use, biting,

; Synopsis: It’s been months since Hoseok marked you in the frenzy of his heat, and he’s been content and happy with you ever since. But with the stress of college ending and the fact the bond remains uncompleted, what happens when you go into your own heat?

; Wolf Shifter Hoseok Trilogy

Run Little Rabbit

Daddy’s Little Peanut

Big Bad Wolf

; RLR Drabbles

Choices

Concerns

Hoseok enjoyed holding your hand. Maybe it wasn’t something that an Alpha wolf like himself should admit to, but he was confident enough in himself that he would happily own his little moments of happiness. Holding your hand was like when he took a deep breath of forest air. Relaxing and comforting.

Which was why he always held it whenever he could, letting his fingers brush against yours slowly before he maneuvered his own into position, interlinking them with yours. If you were both sitting on the couch, or laying on his bed, he’d idly let his thumb rub the soft skin on the back of your hand, tiny thrills of euphoria sparking through him while his wolf huffed with contentment.

He was holding your hand right now, and it felt wonderful and grounding. Particularly when his life didn’t feel very grounded lately. College was ending and with it had come his final exams. Not only that, but he had the worry of his Pack leadership looming over his head and the silent panic over the fact you hadn’t completed the bond yet, nor had you given an indication of whether you would.

It was getting to be a little too much for him, and Hoseok wasn’t entirely sure what to do. Alpha’s were the wolves the rest of the Pack came to with their worries and stresses. But then, who did the Alpha go to when they were equally stressed?

He couldn’t vocalise his worry about the bond to you, as he was anxious that it would seem like he was pressuring you. Something as long term and permanent as a mating bond was not something to be pressured, and he would never forgive himself if you gave in to him just because you thought it was what he wanted.

But the other subjects? Well, he’d finally reached his limit and was currently spewing them out to you in a fit of tension and catharsis. He’d picked you up from your room before you’d both headed over to your favourite coffee shop, ordering a caramel macchiato for you and a cappuccino for himself.

He hadn’t admitted to you that this was his third in only an hour and a half, which was probably why he’d immediately dragged you out for a walk and also couldn’t stop talking. Honestly, Hoseok knew better than to drink too much caffeine, it drove his wolf wild.

“Hoseok...Hoseok, sweetheart. Stop,” You pull him to a stop, tugging on his hand lightly until his feet finally stop and he’s looking back at you with uncomfortable eyes. Your stature was so much smaller than his, reflecting the tiny and delicate rabbit that you shifted into and it made him want to growl with protectiveness.

Just wrap you up in his arms and protect you from harm or anyone who might want to hurt you. Like that cheetah guy who was walking along the path towards you, long legs eating up the ground while red Beats headphones adorn his blonde and black hair. Immediately, Hoseok is glaring as the hair on his neck stands on end, his inner wolf puffing up and growling.

He doesn’t even realise that his throat is vibrating with the growls from his chest, nor of the waves of dominant energy that are rolling off him. The cheetah guy stops suddenly, nose twitching before he looks up, eyes that are shifted golden widening at the sight of the pissed off Alpha wolf in front of him.

He glances behind him before taking a few steps back, turning on the spot and heading back the way he’d come. Looking back at you, he frowns as he takes in the way your shoulders hunch together and your arms wrap around your waist, eyes wide.

For months now, you’ve had his mark on your neck which has in turn meant you have slowly become less panicked about his dominant displays. You still freak over them, particularly if he’s angry, but you’re a lot less afraid than you had been. If you chose to complete the bond, then over the years you’d truly become almost immune to him.

Until then, he had to watch with a sinking heart as you shrank back from him slightly. Sighing deeply, he reaches out and wraps his arms around your shoulders, tugging you into a gentle hug as he makes sure to keep your hair out of his cup, taking in the scent of you deeply and sighing with satisfaction.

“Thumper, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out.” He murmurs into the soft strands, nose nuzzling you unintentionally as his wolf whines quietly, demanding he make his mate happy again. You’re frozen for a moment before your arms wrap around his lean waist, head resting against his chest and he has to swallow the noise of gratification he wants to let out.

“Why did you get angry at that guy? He wasn’t even doing anything.” You ask, pulling away before taking his hand again and moving him along. Your pace is much slower now but he just enjoys the moment, the warm fuzziness running through his veins at being near you.

Or maybe that was the caffeine. Who knows?

Chewing his lip for a moment, he takes another swallow of warm cappuccino before throwing the empty cup into the next bin he sees. He takes a deep, fortifying breath before he can get the words out. But he has to. You’re his mate, you’ll understand.

“I’m a little...stressed. About exams. And after college,” Hoseok pauses for a moment, letting the air fill with comfortable silence as he swings your arm slowly. “I got an offer from the Alliance of Wolves last week. They want me to take over the pack at Mancita City. Apparently the pack Alpha died there three months ago and they’ve gone without. I just...don’t know if I should...or if I can.” He practically mumbles out that, trying to ignore the way his cheeks heat in embarrassment.

You let out a tiny breath, your fingers tightening around his before you’re easing him to a stop once more. He looks down at you, running a hand through his hair before moving to stroke a finger down your cheek gently. You give him the sweetest smile and he wants so badly to kiss you.

“Okay, first of all. You’ve been studying really hard and you’re crazy smart, you’ll do great in your exams. Secondly, you’ll be a great Packmaster at Mancita City! That’s like...a huge honour right? And so young!” Your bright smile makes him feel lighter than air, his stomach fizzing slightly as he presses his lips together to stop a responding smile.

“It is but...I’d have to offer Pack membership to everyone here. They’re all pretty much graduating with us as well, but what if they don’t want to go? I mean...they might want to move somewhere else and join a different Pack. And what if I’m not good at it?” He spies a bench and pulls you over to it, sitting down before pulling you into his lap despite all the space on the iron rungs.

You scoff lightly, rolling your eyes before your fingers begin to trail through his hair lazily. He has to grit his teeth slightly to stop himself from almost purring like a damn cat shifter. “Jung Hoseok, what exactly do you mean when you think you won’t be a good leader? You’re a damn good Alpha here, even if you do scare me more than a xenomorph sometimes.”

He scowls at that, leaning forward to lightly bite at your shoulder at the reminder of those horrible films you’d both watched. It was humiliating to admit an Alpha wolf had nightmares about stupid, fictional creatures.

“I’m picking the movie next time...and it’s not being a horror. It’s going to be a nice Disney film!” Hoseok states, sticking his lower lip in a cute pout at you. Your reaction is just to roll your eyes, making him smile proudly. “Anyway, there’s a difference between running a college Pack with only like...20 or 25 people in it. A city Pack though? That’s...that’s real responsibility.”

You sigh quietly, the sound full of doubt and he knows you don’t really understand the big deal. He’d never really discussed it properly with you, mainly because he hadn��t expected to be asked to do something like this. In all honesty, Hoseok had expected to probably take over a small town in the middle of nowhere, which had also had him stressing about whether you’d be happy or not.

But this? This was the big leagues, and while he felt proud to be considered dominant enough to be given such a high position, it would bring a lot of headaches and tension.

“A city can have thousands and thousands of people in it right? Which means that a city Pack, also has a ridiculously high number. I looked into it, and Mancita City Pack had 112 members, most of them older too. Some of them left after the leader died, choosing to go somewhere else. But still...that’s a lot of people. And not only that, but as a City Pack leader, I’d also be on the City Board and have to represent the voice of the wolves. I didn’t...I don’t…” He lifts his hands up in frustration, brow creasing as he struggles to get across his concerns.

Hoseok knows that he should take this job. That in reality, someone like him is needed to control over that many wolves. And he knows that his parents would be unbelievably proud of him. A pup becoming the Alpha of a big Pack was most wolf shifter’s dream, and he was fulfilling it.

They’d be disappointed in him if they found out he didn’t take it. And he was already disappointing them anyway by claiming you as a mate. They didn’t know yet, he didn’t want to tell them until you’d responded to his claim, but they wouldn’t be happy.

His parents adhered to the ‘prey are prey and predators are predators’ philosophy. Which meant that they would never understand a predator mating with a prey shifter. They’d likely be disgusted by his mate choice, and he wanted to shield you from their prejudice so badly.

“Hoseok, it’s your choice...but I think you’ll make a great leader. You’re young and you have lots of great ideas. You have the most mellow personality of any predator shifter I’ve met, yet you’re firm with your Pack and they respect you. I think you should take it, it gives you a guaranteed job right out of college right?” You smile at him, running a thumb over his lower lip almost absentmindedly.

He lets you, appreciating the way you seem to take comfort out of the small movement while he in turn enjoys the feeling. It’s only when his tongue flicks out to wet his lips and catches on your pad that you pull it away, the quiet sound of your heart beat increasing slightly.

“I’ll figure it out. It’s just...everything coming to a head you know? Anyway, we should go back...I have a final tomorrow that I need to study for tonight.” You don’t query about coming with him, as you seem to spend more time with him than not lately. Though being with him also means being with the Pack, and you seem to enjoy the company of the other wolves compared to your lonely home.

“Okay...can we order pizza?” You query, eyes brightening up adorably as you jump off his lap. The movement takes you a little higher than what normal shifters would do, and he lets out a soft huff of amusement as your rabbit nature accidentally lets itself out. He doesn’t answer verbally, just takes your hand once more and nods, letting you practically speed walk him back to the Pack House.

It only takes one deep inhalation once you both enter the house to let him know that most of the Pack are out. One of the members he can definitely smell is the delightful Park Jimin, who comes bounding down the stairs when he hears the door close. As Hoseok tugs off his shoes, he’s struck by an amused thought that the young wolf acts more like a dog sometimes.

He’d get outraged if he heard that thought.

Shaking his head, Hoseok watches with a smile as Jimin launches himself at you, knocking you off balance enough to cause you to stumble backwards with a tinkling laughter. Your arms come up to wrap around Jimin’s waist and for a quick moment, he simply admires the relationship you share with your best friend.

But then his eyes focus on the touch between Jimin and you, how there’s barely any space between your chests and suddenly his own chest is rumbling quietly. The soft sound is loud enough for both of them to pick up though, and he watches with a touch of shame while Jimin’s face falls and he cowers ever so slightly, sensing the disapproval and unhappiness from his Alpha.

Without even realising it, Hoseok’s hand is on your arm and he’s gently pulling until you’re wrapped in his arms, his chin rubbing against your hair while Jimin watches with raised brows. “Hoseok...are you okay?”

The silver wolf sounds vaguely concerned and Hoseok doesn’t quite understand why till he realises that he’s scent marking you. Which is dumb, because you always smell like him because of the mark on your neck, not to mention the amount of time you spend together.

He pulls away with a frown, cheeks flushing as he apologises and bows his head to Jimin. There was no reason to get aggressive and protective of you around Jimin. He was one of your closest friends and one of Hoseok’s most loyal Pack members, he never felt jealous around him.

There’s no more conversation as he watches Jimin and you have a silent conversation before you begin to head up the stairs. As you do so, Jimin casually mentions that he’d already ordered food for those in the house, leaving Hoseok to nod awkwardly.

The look you give Hoseok when you get into his room makes him squirm in place, fingers nervously playing with themselves while his shoulders hunch. You were the only person allowed to see him like this, awkward and unsure of himself. You were also the only person who’s opinion he truly gave a crap about, and his wolf was whining desperately at the disappointed look on your face.

“Sorry. I don’t know why I keep doing that today. Maybe I’m just...stressed.” He says quietly, shoulders shrugging limply. You watch him for a moment before the corners of your lips kick up into a smile, sending a quick spike of warmth through him. Reaching out, he takes your hands and gives you a sweet smile in turn, leaning forward to catch your lips quickly.

You respond immediately, shaking off his hand to rest it on his cheek before his tongue flicks across the seam of your lips. It only takes seconds before you’re opening for him, allowing him entrance which he takes almost greedily.

Dipping his tongue into your mouth, he explores languidly, enjoying the way you still give him a brief fight for dominance before acquiescing to his demands. One of the things he loves about you so much, is how you are perhaps the most submissive person he’s ever met and yet when it comes to sex, you’ll still fight him for a few moments. Every time, even though you fall before him.

If it were anyone else, his wolf would snap and snarl, but instead he enjoys the little games you play.

Your hands soon move down his throat, the touches featherlight and sending a shiver through his spine before he feels them stroke down his chest and stomach. It’s only when the hem of his shirt begins to be tugged upwards, revealing his toned abdomen, that he stops, pulling away with a wince while he cups your face.

“I’m sorry little rabbit, but I can’t tonight. I really do need to study, it’s my last exam tomorrow morning and...I really need to pass. I’m so sorry.” He practically begs, throat husky from the kiss. You watch him with slight annoyance in your eyes, brow creasing and he gets the unusual urge to get on his knees. Immediately he pushes it away, knowing it’s only because he doesn’t want to make you angry.

You’re silent for a moment, and it frustrates him that he can’t figure out what you’re feeling from the carefully blank slate that is your face. But then you smile genially, pushing up onto your tiptoes to press a sweet, chaste kiss to his lips before you pat his stomach lightly.

“It’s okay, go be geeky.” Your innocent smile turns mischievous and his eyes narrow in response, snapping his teeth at you without any intent behind it. There’s no response from you though, instead you simply walk over to his bed and crawl on top of it, grabbing his PS4 controller and turning both the console and television on.

A wistful sigh leaves him as he sits at his desk, shoulders slumping as he gazes over at you with futile want. He’s never felt more annoyed about being an Alpha than right now. If he was more like some of the other wolves in his Pack, he’d have given in easily to your beautiful eyes and slim body, telling himself that he could study in the morning.

But no, he’s a good wolf.

The next few hours pass slowly for him as he rewrites out his notes, hoping the addition of writing the information out will help to imprint it into his brain while he watches over recorded lectures to make sure he’s not missing anything out. Everyone had laughed at him when he picked History of Prey and Predator Relations as his final subject for the semester, but he thought it was important.

Unsurprisingly, predator shifters were a little pretentious and often looked down on prey shifters, even if they said they didn’t. Which was why he was the only predator in his class, which meant he had to take scent suppressants before every class to stop them from freaking out.

But as an Alpha, it was crucial for him to understand the nuances of prey and predator relationships. To understand why there were prey who lived in towns of their own, such as his mate’s family. It was his own history, but it was also the history of his mate and he wanted to make sure he wasn’t going to make any accidental faux pas from ignorance.

What had surprised him was much he’d enjoyed the class, and he’d recommended the rest of his Pack to consider taking it. Which was why the university was a little bemused at the fact that next year’s class had a high number of wolf shifters professing interest.

It was midnight by the time he felt ready to go to bed, his neck aching and stiff. Rolling his shoulders slowly, he let out a deep sigh before closing the lid of his MacBook and shuffling all his loose papers into his notebook.

Standing, he stretches and lets out a deep groan before looking over at the bed, heart immediately turning to mush at the sight. He’d been so involved in his studies that he hadn’t noticed the TV going quiet, but he can’t help but smile as he looks you over.

The controller is rested on your stomach, one hand remaining on it while your other hand lay next to your head. Legs are spread in awkward looking positions and your neck is resting rather uncomfortably from the pillows you’d propped up. Honestly, he doesn’t know you’d fallen asleep in that position.

Chuckling to himself, he heads over and takes the controller, turning everything off before turning back to you. He carefully tugs your clothes off before grabbing a shirt from his closet and maneuvering you into it. Once the pillows are in a normal position, he quickly sheds his own clothes and crawls into the bed with you, marvelling at how a prey shifter seems to sleep like a log.

But as he curls up next to your warm body, you let out a soft, sleepy noise before shuffling closer to him and resting your forehead against his chest. He smiles at it, wrapping his arm around your waist and pressing a kiss to your soft hair before drifting off himself.

Hoseok’s final goes better than he expected and he’s practically bouncing with energy and happiness when he sees you waiting on a bench outside his class. Because of his scent suppressant, you don’t notice him properly until he’s almost on you but you give him the brightest, prettiest smile when you finally see him.

“Hey Thumper! I’m do-mmpf!” His words disappear when you suddenly leap onto him, his arms quickly moving to support your thighs as he staggers backwards from the force of you. He can’t say anything as you’re kissing him suddenly, hands cupping his face firmly as your tongue practically forces his mouth open.

He lets you with almost zero resistance, brow creasing as both his wolf and him practically freeze in confusion. It’s probably the most submissive Hoseok has ever been, and it’s only when you let out a low moan that his senses come to him, slowly pushing you away until your feet drop to the floor.

Hoseok has to physically push you away when you keep an almost octopus like grip on his head and he gasps loudly as he looks at you with wide eyes. “Err….hi?” Quite honestly, he’s not entirely sure what to do or say. You’ve never been a huge PDA person as it attracts attention to you, which often sets off your instincts.

And yet you’ve practically just tried to eat him alive in front of everyone from his class, which leads to his cheeks flushing a rosy tint when he spies the shocked eyes from everyone else. Surprisingly though, they’re not looking at him but at you and he frowns, grabbing your hand before pulling you along quickly.

“Let’s get lunch hmm?” He says, voice tense at their looks. You make an acknowledging hum to him and as you both walk along, you seem to plaster yourself to his side. In fact, he has to let go of your hand to wrap his arm around your waist, you’re that close to him. It’s almost unnerving, how quiet you remain despite his attempts to start conversations.

As you both enter your usual diner, he muses to himself to try and figure out what’s wrong. Maybe you were just really excited about finishing college or something? Your last exam had been three days ago, and you were only staying on campus to be with him.

A quick nod to Cathy, the waitress that everyone knows well in this diner, is all Hoseok needs before you’re heading to your usual booth, which is thankfully empty. He slides onto the red leather bench, pausing slightly as you follow him and practically curl up in his lap, despite the fact you can’t even actually reach his lap.

Okay, there’s definitely something going on. You only sit next to him when you both come with everyone else, otherwise you sit opposite him. Despite his pouts, you told him that it was easier to talk to him if he was opposite you, so this was weird.

Hoseok normally just got a giant stack of pancakes here, smothered in maple syrup with a pile of bacon on the side. But today he feels like celebrating the end of his college life and so grabs the menu, intending to see if you wanted to share a vomit inducing meal. Vegetarian options for you of course.

Or at least, that’s what he intends until he suddenly feels your hand on his thigh, causing him to choke on his own spit. His loud and frantic coughing is interrupted when you begin to stroke his leg, long and slow movements while the tips of your fingers slide down his inner thigh, causing him to shudder.

“What are you doing!” He hisses desperately, eyes frantically flicking to everyone else in the diner. It’s a damn good job he’s taken the suppressants, as he doesn’t even want to imagine what scents he’d be giving off otherwise right now.

“You’ve finished your exam now Hobi...you promised.” You whine quietly, shuffling even closer to him before you nuzzle your face into his neck, wet lips trailing over the sensitive skin there. He has to bite his lip really hard to stop the moan from leaving his mouth.

“Excuse me...Hoseok,” A meek and timid voice calls out, causing Hoseok to shake his head and desperately try to push you away. He looks at Cathy with wide eyes before frowning as he takes in her carefully arranged face. She looks uncomfortable, and he doesn’t really understand why as he’s pretty sure he’s still got a few more hours of suppressant to work. The only thing he can think is because of how you’re acting.

He gives a quick smile, fully in the knowledge that it usually helps to put others at ease. Cathy’s another rabbit shifter, but she’s been working this job for so long that it often seems like she’s near enough immune to the predator shifters. It’s only when he accidentally loses control of himself that she flinches, but that’s not often.

Only when Jimin purposefully pisses him off in here.

“I’m sorry Cathy, I think she’s just...excited at us both finishing college.” He gives you a quick nudge to try and get you to apologise too, but instead you’re just staring up at him through hooded eyes, pupils wide with need as you pout.

“I can’t smell you Hobi.” You whine softly, the sound almost wolf like and he stares in frustration, wondering why you’re acting like this.

“It’s not that Hoseok, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” Cathy gives him a tentative smile while he stares, jaw dropping. He starts to splutter a response, recognising that you were being a bit handsy but you’d stop! She shakes her head. “She’s in heat and it’s making everyone uncomfortable.”

Hoseok stares at her for a moment with no comprehension, brows slowly coming together in confusion before he looks down at you. He takes you in, noting that once you’ve caught his attention you start to bite your lip and press your chest to his arm harder.

“No...she’s not...I mean...no?” He sounds unsure of himself, and he doesn’t particularly like that. “I’m her mate! Well...I’m hers...I’d recognise that? I can’t smell any heat on her?” Hoseok inhales deeply at that, not understanding why he can’t smell what’s obviously setting everyone else off.

Until he suddenly realises. The scent suppressants. They work both ways. Anyone who scents Hoseok right now would just take in his basic scent, no dominance or overwhelming wolf. But it also dulls his senses, so all he can smell is you. Not your rabbit, and certainly not your heat.

Realisation hits him like a freight train then and he lets out a loud groan, slapping his face as it all comes together. Today is evidently day one of your heat, given the way you’ve been trying your hardest to mount him right here. But yesterday would have been your body getting ready, which explains why he kept getting overly possessive over you and why pulling away from you had been so hard.

He was an idiot.

“I’m sorry, I’ll take her home.” He whispers, giving a pained smile to Cathy who nods before leaving quickly. It takes a little bit of pushing to get you out of the booth, and he has to practically run to the door to make you follow him, all the while giving apologetic looks to the other diners who all watch you intently.

“Okay, come on little rabbit. Let’s get you home. Really quick.” He says, wondering how he’s supposed to do that when you’re practically climbing him like a tree. To say he’s mortified at the way people are staring is to underestimate his feelings. You’re not a fan of PDA, but you’re completely comfortable with sex and heats.

Hoseok on the other hand? Well, he’s a wolf and wolves don’t really like to talk sex. You liked to call him a prude, the way he’d clam up in front of others. But sex was personal and intimate! The sheer thought of public sex made him want to fold up like an origami crane.

So this, this was just...horrible. Particularly as he couldn’t even fucking smell you to get turned on by it all!

“Hobi...Hobi please...pleeeease.” You whine into his ear, licking at his throat while your hands tug desperately at his shirt. He tries to walk along, running his hands along your waist reassuringly while he apologises to you repeatedly. This has to be hurting, you’re probably hurting and it upsets him.

But then he remembers the day after his heat had finished, when you’d both been in this very park. And he looks down at you with a smile. He’s never been the one being chased, and he wonders if he can run fast enough to outrun you.

“Thumper...I want you to close your eyes and count for ten seconds, okay?” He says with a smile, pressing kisses to your face and watching as you get an almost dreamy expression, nodding happily. Your eyes close as he asks, causing a ribbon of pleasure at your submissiveness to him, before he presses your hands to them to make sure they stay closed. A quick kiss for each hand is given before he quietly steps away, his own hands out in case you cheat.

“Start counting.” You begin immediately, the words loud and filled with shaking need. The first syllable is all he needs to start running, sprinting down the path and towards the Packhouse faster than he’s ever run in human form before. His wolf is exuberant and he has the strongest urge to howl, excited to be playing with his mate but also expectant of the sex that’s soon to follow.

You don’t seem to notice his absence thankfully, and it’s only once you reach zero that he hears your exclamation of surprise even from here. A quick look over his shoulder lets him see your now tiny form take off after him and he can’t stop the smile spreading on his face, nor the whoop of laughter as he thanks everything that he has longer strides than you.

It’s because of the sheer speed he’s going at that he practically breaks the door down, almost falling onto his hands and knees as he skids into the house. There’s a few Pack members in the living room, sat around the couches as a film plays while bowls of popcorn sit in front of everyone. They all look at him with wide eyes as he stands there, gasping for air before pointing out the door.

“My mate is in heat, so...if you don’t want to listen to that for a week then I’d recommend leaving! I’m so sorry!” He calls out before sprinting up the stairs, taking them two at a time as he hears your lighter footsteps following him quickly.

The house is big enough that they don’t have to leave if they don’t want to, and some of the submissive ones probably won’t as they aren’t likely to be affected by you. Those who are a bit more dominant probably will though, as he presumes that you’re probably giving off an unbelievably alluring scent.

Damn his exam!

Hoseok only just manages to get into his room before you’re barreling in after him, almost falling onto the bed while he closes the door and presses the lock firmly. Taking gulping breaths, he turns his gaze to you and swallows at the sheer lust in your eyes.

Good gods, he was about to get the best sex of his fucking life.

“Little rabbit.” He coos quietly, deepening his voice to the level that he knew sent shudders through you. “Is someone feeling a little turned on?” At the words you’re mewling with lust, hands clenching and unclenching by your sides while he notes the darkened patches of your yellow shirt, the heat literally getting you warm and sweating with desire.

“Come here sweetheart,” His fingers crooks to you and you practically bound over to him, latching yourself onto his front and rubbing your face all over his chest. Wandering hands cause him to let out an ‘oof’ as you grab his ass, tugging his hips into your own before you’re straining on your toes to reach his neck, pretty pink tongue licking a trail of craving along his throat.

Your desire for him has his wolf practically howling in pride, but your assertiveness soon sets him off and a low rumble vibrates through his chest. Taking your hands, he lifts them up before dipping his head down to catch your errant lips with his own before pulling away, smirking as you chase after him.

“Little bunny, you know better than to try to take control right?” His voice is slightly condescending, which combined with his raised brow has you pouting and lowering your head, nodding with a pout. Inhaling deeply, a soft groan leaves him at the scent of the liquid passion that’s obviously pooling between your legs given how your thighs clench repeatedly, and he’s happy to note that he can at least smell that.

“Does my little rabbit need my help?” Hoseok taunts, grinning when you keen and try to push your hips forward, despite the fact your hands are keeping you held away. He takes pity on you and lets go, noting with pleased surprise that you begin to tear your clothes off as quickly as possible before you slam to your knees in front of him, whining quietly.

“Hoseok, please. Please Hoseok. Please Hobi, please fuck me.” You whisper, almost panting from the heat driven need that’s coursing through your body. Before he can even respond though, you’re crawling forward and nuzzling your face into his legs, face rubbing against the harsh fabric of jeans while your back arches. The movement means that you’re presenting your ass as best you can to him, in the universally recognised symbol of ‘please fuck me now’.

A deep, full bodied groan leaves his throat at the sight and he crouches down, a hand cupping your face to pull your mouth towards his as he kisses you hard. “Bed.” Is all he can get out, the syllables gruff and overflowing with lust.

He’d been a little worried that he wouldn’t get turned on quick enough for you given he can’t scent you properly, but he’s pleased to note that what he can smell, combined with your submissive offerings, has him walking awkwardly with a full erection already.

Now, whether he can keep this up for five or six days is another matter, but he’s prepared for that.

Since being with you, he’d done research into rabbit shifter heats to make sure he’s ready, particularly given how wrecked you had him after his own heat. Which is why he knew that there would be no knotting on his behalf - he did it often in normal sex with you but there was a chance of pregnancy here, even if it was unbelievably slim because of the prey/predator differences - and that he had needed to buy in support to give his dick a rest.

So...hopefully he was prepared.

You follow his command eagerly, eyes lighting up with excitement as you practically scramble onto his bed. He goes to say something though when he sees you begin to present already and he groans quietly, seeing the practically seeping entrance to your pussy winking at him from between your legs while your bitingly gorgeous ass wriggles to attract his attention.

Boy, did it get his attention.

“God baby, you’re so beautiful.” He sighs wistfully, reaching out and running his hand along the smooth skin as he admires you even more. His touch makes you shiver and he simply watches as you practically undulate underneath him, gasping pants tinged with a whine.

“Hoseok please...please fuck me. Oh god please.” Crawling onto the bed himself, he props himself up against his headboard, fluffing up the pillows, before opening his arms and grinning. It takes no time at all for you to practically leap into them, legs straddling one thigh and letting him get a delicious view of your already engorged clit.

He doesn’t get chance to do anything though as your mouth catches his almost viciously. Grunting, he immediately takes over and kisses you with a need that pales in comparison to your own. It’s wet and messy, not even remotely refined and it has him straining in his pants.

Particularly when you begin to grind your hips against his jean clad thigh, the harsh friction of the fabric against the overly sensitive bundle of nerves has you keening into his mouth while your fingers grip his shoulders so tightly. He struggles for a moment to take control back, mind flying in a hundred directions before he grips your firm ass cheeks tightly, controlling the rhythm of your slow grinds.

It’s while he does this that he simulates fucking you with his mouth, sliding his tongue slowly in and out in a way that has your thighs tightening up around his own. It’s slow and sensual, and has to stop himself from grinding his own hips against you.

Pulling away slightly, he takes in the sight of your puffy lips and glazed over eyes with pride before he leans forward, making sure to keep direct eye contact while he idly dances his tongue along your lower lip before grazing his teeth over the vulnerable flesh.

Your pupils are huge now, the colour of your irises almost gone but he still spots the deep, wooden brown that gives away that your eyes have shifted. His always used to freak you out at first, but yours are actually kind of cute. He’s never seen it before.

As he keeps that intense eye contact, noses touching, he slowly sucks your lower lip into his mouth, tongue playing at the edge before he lets it go slowly. It’s only then that he breaks the link, his nose nudging along the soft skin of your cheek while his open mouth blazes a trail along your jawline, dipping down into the exposed expanse of your throat.

He likes your throat. It’s probably a predator thing, but he enjoys seeing his mark there. He likes to bruise it as well, making sure everyone knows that you’re his and you’re taken care of. It makes him feel bad when he comes to himself, but you tell him that you like it and don’t mind.

He also likes to touch it, but he never attempts to simulate choking of any kind, even if he’d love to try. Your very nature will never let that happen, and he wouldn’t think of abusing your trust like that. It would take a deep, deep trust for a rabbit to let a wolf so something like that.

But still, he gets to admire it and play as much as he dare. Which is why he’s tonguing along the velvety skin, feeling each indentation of muscle and tendon while hearing the rush of blood through your artery. It’s only here that he actually gets to scent a weak version of your heat, the smell still enough to have his wolf snapping.

“Oh little rabbit, you smell fucking amazing.” He grunts out, biting down lightly over his own mark. It’s a sensitive area for mates, and you react exactly like you always do, crying out while your body shudders from the sensation. Only this time, the reaction is even more intense and he realises with a start that you’re already orgasming, each grind of your clit against his thigh causing a high pitched whine to leave you.

In fact, he’s left to lick at your neck in disbelief, wondering how on earth you were this sensitive? He hadn’t read anything about heat sensitivity, but maybe you had it. He liked it, he decided. Even if he did have a sticky, wet patch on his jeans, but what man wouldn’t enjoy that?

“Oh, good girl. And I haven’t even touched you properly!” He crows in delight, grinning broadly before he’s shifting his hands under your ass. A quick flex of his arms and he has your back resting firmly against the pillows, kneeling back to take a look at what he has to work with.

Already, you’re eagerly spreading your legs for him and lifting your hips up invitingly, despite the orgasm you’ve literally just had. It’s almost like it never happened, as you bite your lip while your hands stroke at your waist and breasts. “Hoseok. I want your cock Hoseok. Please, make me feel good.” The breathy words are hard to resist, but he knows he has to pace himself.

“You will little rabbit, you’ll get my cock don’t worry. I just have to take care of you first, right?” Hoseok states, teeth flashing before he leans down. The scent of you is intoxicating here and he doesn’t even bother to try and keep in the moan of want. Your thighs are glistening from your excitement, the sticky liquid trickling from your drenched core to coat your ass cheeks and he sighs happily.

“So damn wet.” He murmurs, nosing along your pubic bone and letting his breath hit your clit teasingly. It has you wiggling and he presses a firm hand to your stomach, keeping you in place before he gives you one, long lick from your soaked entrance, all the up to your needy bud.

He gets a lot of your essence on his tongue as he goes, before swallowing with pleasure. His tongue licks at his mouth before he’s pressing it flat to the little nub, moving it in slow circles before sucking it into his mouth. The flesh is almost scorching hot and delicious, but it’s your reactions that really get him going.

You’re crying out loudly, hands fisting the sheets before moving up to the pillows, trying desperately to grab at something your body isn’t sure it wants. It only takes a few more long licks and sucks before your hand is tightening in his hair, the grip smarting and he grunts lightly at the sensation, sucking so hard that it has to be borderline painful for you.

Glancing up to look at your face, he feels a flood of satisfaction roll through his body at the expression of sheer ecstasy he sees. Biteable lips are spread open while your eyelashes flutter over your cheeks as your eyes remain closed, soft whimpers of pleasure escaping.

Each press of his lips to your clit has your thighs clenching, and when his tongue dips down into your pussy, he feels the muscles there tightening in desperation for something to fill you up and he can’t help but smirk. The sheer amount of wetness leaking from you has his cheeks and chin soaked, but Hoseok enjoys the feeling and tries to encourage it more, tongue fucking you the way he knows you love.

But it’s not enough, and it doesn’t take long before you’re whining in annoyance while your hips overpower his hand. He chuckles, pulling away slightly to lick at his lips before pressing a wet kiss to your inner thigh. “Okay little rabbit, okay. I get it, not so submissive when you’re not getting what you want hmm?”

“Hoseok, please. Please use your fingers or anything, god just please fill me with something.” You pant out, and he watches with fascination as your entrance practically winks at him with the agony of not being penetrated yet.

“Let’s fill you up little bunny, hmm?” He whispers, sliding two fingers into your practically sopping pussy and feeling a bloated sense of pride at the long and breathy whine of satisfaction that leaves you. If this was normal sex, Hoseok would play with you and explore the delightfully wet and warm channel, but he knows that you’re not in the mood for that today.

And so instead, he begins to finger you at a furiously pace, his arm tensing repeatedly and watching as you gasp out with eyes wide open. A slight curve has the tips of his fingers brushing against the overly sensitive bundle of nerves on your vagina walls, each movement causing a spasm of your limbs.

It’s almost lewd, in fact no - it is lewd how unbelievably wet you were and how drenched you get once he starts. Each movement of his hand produces a squelching sound while more of your juices begins to trickle past your entrance with each pull.

The scent is overwhelming even to him now, and he lets out a frustrated moan at the fact that he can’t smell you like normal. Still, his hard on is unbelievable and he wants to palm himself so badly. But if he does that, he knows he’ll bring your attention to it and he doesn’t want that yet.

“Do you want my tongue? Do you want me to suck on that pretty clit of yours till you’re tightening around my fingers like a good girl?” You shudder at that, obviously pleased with the idea while a low keen leaves you.

“Please Hoseok, please. Make me feel good, please.” If he were under his own heat, or even if this were just normal sex, he’d be more demanding of you. He’d tease and push until you were almost crying with need, but the sheer frustration on your face combined with the lack of full sentences was letting him know very clearly that he would only be able to get away with so much this time.

It would be cruel to make you wait when in a heat frenzy, so instead, he’d just focus on making you cry with orgasms.

Which was why he didn’t say anything further, instead just made an affirmative noise before swooping down between your legs. His tongue played along your pussy like his fingers played the piano, soft and gentle before striking up a furiously quick pace.

The combination of his mouth and the constant, incessant stroking of his fingers inside your velvety smooth walls had you reaching your peak quicker than he’d ever got you there. Tiny tremors began to take over your body, thigh muscles twitching around his shoulders while your stomach heaved with the effort of controlling your breath.

It only took a particularly rough thrust of his hand and an extra hard suck on your clit to push you over that precipice, ragged cries escaping your mouth while your hips flexed against him relentlessly. But as delightful as it was to watch you cum, it was even better to feel you cum.

And the vice-like, rhythmical grip of your pussy on his fingers had him groaning while his own hips pressing into the bed for relief. Each fluttering grasp of your walls against his fingers just made him think of what you would feel like around his cock.

High pitched whining let him know you were delving into over-stimulated territory, and he made soft cooing noises while he pulled away slowly, pressing a kiss to your inner thigh and enjoying the slick he left there. Removing his fingers was even more rewarding, and he admired the way your excitement stuck his fingers together before stringing apart.

A contented hum left him as he sucked them into his mouth, his tongue swiping up every inch of your taste he could. It’s only when he focuses back on your face that he notices the hungry look in your eyes already, practically glowing in the mid-afternoon sunlight.

“Does my little rabbit want more already?” He purrs, raising a brow as he looks down at the slickness that almost drips from you. There’s not a hint of resistance or shyness as you nod at him, teeth biting at already sore lips and he tuts softly.

Leaning over you, he pulls your lip away before sucking on it soothingly, letting his tongue lave over any hurts; all the while his eyes are focused directly on you. When you strain to catch his mouth in a kiss, he simply pulls away and kneels there, grinning at the sight of you naked, fucked out and yet needy while he remains fully clothed.

“I bought something for you little bunny, do you want to see?” Hoseok teases playfully, leaning down to nip at the soft skin of your inner knee before moving off the bed to his closet. When he comes back, he sees that you’ve raised yourself onto your elbows and are watching him with an intent gaze.

It’s almost predatory, which is particularly amusing given it’s you.

“What is it? It better be something I want otherwise I’ll be disappointed in you for ruining the moment.” You grunt out, your heat partially satiated for the moment to allow a little more coherent thought to take place, even if it does make his wolf snap. But when he pulls out the magical items from the bag and lays them on the bed, your pupils expand immediately and your heat washes over you.

His suppressants must be dying off, because he’s pretty sure he’s starting to smell it and oh god, does he want to fuck you into the mattress till you can’t even move properly.

“I did a little research on rabbit shifter heats,” He murmurs, running a finger along the items he’d already removed from their packaging and cleaned beforehand. Just in case. “And I’m wolf enough to admit that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with you. So I bought help.” His grin, would probably be described as wolfish as he sees how focused you remain on those delightful items.

Taking his time, Hoseok lifts up the first item and turns it on, letting the low level buzz fill the room while he takes in the immediate reaction from you. Lush lips fall open while your eyes widen in want, legs spreading even further and your hips cant upwards invitingly.

But he doesn’t use it, and instead turns it off and lays it back down on the bed. No, he’s more interested in the other toy right now, and lifts up the dildo with an interested gaze. The website had said that it was designed to stimulate the g-spot specifically, and it did have a peculiar curve to it that his dick did not.

“I wonder if this works?” He muses to himself, letting the head of the dildo rub against the engorged lips of your labia, coating it in your juices. Up and down, up and down he strokes it before finally slipping it into your empty entrance slowly.

The intrusion of the sex toy has you letting out the longest, lowest groan he’s ever heard from you. He wasn’t sure he could get any harder, but he does, and he lets out a pained moan of his own as his jeans trap him so uncomfortably.

“Feel good?” Hoseok’s voice is choked, tight with repressed need to fuck you into oblivion. There’s no verbal reply from you, simply a gasping cry as your body writhes around, trying to shift the fake cock into the perfect position.

He’d been moving it slowly, getting used to it himself and also getting used to the unusual sensation of watching you get fucked a cock that isn’t his. Hoseok is actually surprised by how competitive he suddenly feels, eyes narrowing as he twists it until the curved part is evidently rubbing against the sensitive spot inside you.

The reaction is immediate - your hips jerk off the bed while a shaking cry leaves your throat, hands grasping at the bed sheets and panting. Pushing down on the toy, he makes it press against your walls even harder and begins to move it faster, muscles in his arm aching slightly from the constant movement.

But it’s worth it, to watch you groan and whine in absolute desperation, completely at his mercy. His wolf is practically growling in delight and he can’t stop the responding rumble of approval from his chest.

It has you pausing for a moment, eyes wide before there’s a tremor of anticipation that rolls through you. He takes note of it idly with a smirk, enjoying the way that there was a tiny part of you that was bizarrely turned on by the panic his dominance caused.

“Does my little rabbit enjoy getting fucked by a fake cock? Do you? Do you like this fucking you? Or would you rather my cock? Would your greedy pussy rather be filled with my cock?” He practically hisses at that, the metaphorical fur on his back rising as he gets filled with a bizarre kind of jealousy.

“My cock could fill you full of cum in a way this never could.” He growls, biting down on the soft and supple flesh of your thigh. It has you practically purring with pleasure despite the initial jerk away from his sharpened teeth, running a hand down your stomach before reaching his hand.

“I want your cock, I want your cum. Please Hobi, fill me, please.” You beg him, running a placating hand down his wrist and still trying to encourage him to move it harder. At that, he growls viciously, teeth bared.

“Really? Do you really? Because you seem to be pretty fucking happy to be getting fucked by this.” He snarls, lifting up the dildo and letting you watch the excitement literally drip off the tip onto the coarse hair along your pubic bone.

Immediately, you’re trying to appease him. He has not doubt that under normal circumstances, that would be with coherent sentences and soothing touches, but the heat has you in its lust filled grip and instead you simply stroke your own body, eyeing him seductively.

“No baby, no. I want your cock, please give me it. I’ll be a good bunny.” You whisper, biting your lip while your eyes roll into the back of your head as he makes a particularly harsh thrust. He doesn’t bother to answer, and instead grabs the vibrator and turns it on.

You don’t get a word in before he’s pressing it to your clit, twisting it until he finds that sweet spot that has you practically blubbering. There’s no coherent words now, just noises and garbled sounds that leave your mouth as he increases the intensity.

He’s brutal and relentless, arm muscles almost seizing up as he thrusts the dildo into your wet pussy, all the while the vibrator works at the engorged bundle of nerves between your legs incessantly. It’s almost laughable how quickly you fall apart in his arms, body spasming violently while liquid gushes from you with each thrust, coating his wrist and his bed sheets.

Hoseok wishes he was inside you, and he decides that he’s had enough. He’s only a man, and he can only cope with so much torture.

Which is why he pulls the dildo free from your pussy and throws it onto the bed, uncaring of where it lands. Instead, his focus remains on the soaked, swollen flesh between your legs while he tears off his clothes, throwing them to all corners of his room.

“I’m gonna fuck you until you struggle to walk after this heat ends.” He states bluntly, tone even and giving away none of the desire he’s feeling. Your eyes are fucked out, body moving limply from the third orgasm but as soon as his dick bursts free from his pants, bobbing gently in the open air, fresh excitement begins to leak from you and he can’t help but groan.

“Oh little rabbit, oh sweet thing. Look at you, all fucked out yet a glimpse of my cock and you’re dripping for me all over.” Hoseok strokes himself slowly, rasping out a moan as he tightens his grip around the shaft before thumbing over the sensitive head, currently leaking pre-cum.

Taking in the sight of you, he shuffles forward, running the tip along the wet flesh and coating himself in a delightfully thick layer of your juices. It only takes the slightest shift of his hips to slip into your warmth, and he almost sobs in relief at the tight sensation that grips him. He could die right here, and die a happy man.

There’s just a moment of quiet as he enjoys the sensation before he begins to move, letting his cock slip in and out of you in slow, methodical movements. Tiny muscles in your pussy ripple along his length, causing him to pant as sweat breaks out on his face, dampening his hair.

Each movement causes pops of bliss to explode in his veins, his hands running along your thighs before sliding up your waist. He takes a moment to play with your nipples, twisting the pebbled nubs reverantely between his fingers before moving them further up, resting by your head.

Now, he’s hovering over your body and he leans down slowly, whispering into your ear. “I’m gonna breed you, little rabbit, I’m going to breed you hard until you’re leaking me a week from now. This pussy is going to be coated in white because of me, because this is my pussy. And only mine.” He grunts, not fully aware of his overly possessive words. With each thrust rocking your body up the bed, he hears the delightful music of your panted moans in his ear.

Hoseok wishes he could last longer, he wishes that he could make it last longer to tease you, but he can’t. Reaching for the vibrator he’d thrown away, he presses it to your clit and turns it back on, groaning out as stray vibrations run through his own cock.

“Oh fuck.” He whispers, eyes closing as his hips snap forward, flesh slapping against flesh obscenely and it’s with a strangled moan that he cums. His body tenses and his balls tighten, muscles quivering as his cock begins to twitch inside the excruciating warmth of your pussy, coating you with himself.

The sensation of him orgasming combined with the vibrator on your over-stimulated clit has your body jerking underneath his while a pained, breathy moan leaves your mouth in his ear. Each clench of your orgasm has his own prolonging, until he’s not sure he’ll ever cum again in all honesty.

Fiery satisfaction burns through his veins, his mind focused solely on the overwhelmingly pleasurable sensations of his cock. He doesn’t even notice the sharp pain in his neck from where you’d been moaning into it.

But he does notice the bond snapping into place immediately, an invisible twang of a rubber band settling between the two of you. It’s instantaneous and for a few seconds, the pleasure becomes almost unbearable as the bond bounces your emotions off each other, intensifying it each time until you’re both orgasming a second time.

It’s almost painful for Hoseok, to be cumming so fast after an orgasm already. But this time, there’s something behind the lust and desire that feels comforting and pleasant. He doesn’t analyse it yet, instead just focusing on the electric stimulation in his body before almost collapsing on top of you.

Harsh panting is all that can be heard afterwards, and the room feels hot. Your skin isn’t as hot as before, and you simply look at him with a sleepy smile when he lifts himself up to look at you with a slight sense of wonder. His cock slides out of you slowly, and he sits up shakily to watch with a satisfied smirk as his cum slowly begins to leak from your used hole.

He wishes he could knot you, but that would run the risk of children. And he doesn’t want that yet.

Instead, he’ll just have to go at it normally. When he looks back up, his brow raises when he sees you staring at him intently, and it’s with an internal sigh that he realises rabbit heat’s really are a different breed. The scent of your heat is even stronger to him now, and it’s with even more surprise that he feels a stirring in his cock already, only minutes after he’d had perhaps the best orgasm of his life.

Laughing slightly, he shakes his head before turning and laying on his back. Taking a deep breath, he looks over at you before gesturing to himself with a smirk. “Come on then little rabbit, let’s see if this wolf can blow your house down.”

It’s the stuffy heat of his room, combined with the stench of stale sex, that wakes Hoseok up from a dead sleep. Coughing gruffly, he winces at the dryness of his throat and attempts to lick at his chapped lips to provide some respite.

Blinking blearily, a low grunt leaves him as the sun through streams through the open curtains. A stray thought runs through his head that maybe he’d accidentally given others a show over the last six days.

At that, he glances over to his side and spys you, curled up into a ball on your side with your back facing him. He takes a moment to simply admire you, taking in the gentle curve of your waist along with the smooth expanse of skin along your back.

It’s currently littered with dark bruises that have been sucked, spanked and gripped into your skin over the last few days. A slow curl of pride slides its way around his body before he suddenly remembers, the slight twinge in his neck suddenly reminding him.

Pressing a hand to the still sore flesh, a shy smile takes over as his fingers trail the mark there and the pride erupts into butterflies of excitement and happiness. You’d marked him. You’d claimed him.

You were officially a bonded pair.

He’d need to take you to officially register it at the Mate Registry, to let everyone know that the two of you had claimed each other. It was like a weight off his shoulders, knowing that you felt strong enough about him to accept him for life.

Hoseok doesn’t even realise that he’s reaching for you until his hand is wrapping around your waist, tugging you into his chest and pressing a gentle kiss to your shoulder. A soft murmur of protest is all he gets before you blink back at him, eyes tired and your scent back to normal.

“Hi.” Is all he manages to get out, and he’d be more annoyed at himself if he actually thought that he could think of anything better to say. But he can’t.

It doesn’t matter, as your lips break out into a heart stopping smile as you wriggle in his arms until you’re facing him. The lack of clothing bothers neither of you, and he watches fondly as your eyes take in his appearance before resting on the still prominent mark on his neck. It would take a good week or two for it to settle down like yours, but he was proud to wear it.

His cheeks tint slightly before he presses a quick kiss to your forehead, hoping you don’t mind morning breath too badly. “Thank you.” Is all he manages to get out, causing your brow to raise.

“For what? Letting you fuck me into oblivion? You did really good by the way, well done on the toys.” You grin, patting his chest before letting your hand rest there, stroking gently in almost hypnotic movements.

“Not that you little demon. And you’re welcome, I did my research. Anyway no, thank you...for choosing me. It means...I mean...I didn’t think you would.” He murmurs out, cheeks going hot with a combination of shame and embarrassment.

At that, you lift your head back to rest on the pillow, brows turned inwards in confusion while you stare at him. “Why wouldn’t I pick you? You’re ridiculously dominant yeah, and that still wigs me out sometimes. But...you’re the sweetest guy ever. So kind, funny and supportive. And you never pushed, even though I knew it probably had to hurt to be bonded to me and know I could go anywhere. There’s no need to worry though, you’re my big bad wolf now.”

You grin broadly and lean forward to press a kiss to the mark, causing him to shiver slightly and he’s beyond surprised when he feels the slightest twitch from his groin. How the hell could he possible get it up after six days of non-stop sex?

Shaking his head, he lets out a sigh before giving you a loved-up smile. “I love you.” It’s the first time he’s ever admitted that. It had been so hard to keep those precious words inside, when they had bubbled up within him so many times. When he’d watched you giggle with your friends, smile lighting up your face, or the soft way your hair would blow when his window was open. They’d crawled up his throat when he watched you nap, the way your nose would twitch like a rabbits in your deep sleep or the way you bounce cutely when excited.

He loves you right now, even though you’re sticky and gross with dried sweat and cum, hair messy and just all around not great in reality. But god, does he love you passionately. You look at him with wide eyes, so round and innocent, and his chest swells until he can barely speak. The others would laugh at his emotional outburst, but he didn’t care.

“I love you so much, and I’m so thankful that you’ve chosen to let me continue loving you. I didn’t want to tell you in case you thought it was influencing you. You needed to come to that decision on your own. But, I’ll never stop letting you know, okay?” Hoseok whispers, his voice thick with emotion.

You nod, eyes glistening slightly before leaning forward to press a kiss to his mouth. He doesn’t expect a response yet, but he’s comfortable in the knowledge that he’ll get one soon.

A comfortable silence falls over the room, both content with just being in the grip of each other before you speak quietly. “I think you should take the Mancita City Pack role.”

He stays quiet before querying why you think this, letting his hand run over your back in slow and methodical movements. “Because you’ll be a phenomenal Alpha. And it’s what you deserve. Anything less is not doing justice to you.”

Hoseok can’t help but smile at that, nuzzling his nose into your hair before letting out a breath. “You think? I was thinking of taking it too. We wouldn’t have to worry about a place to live, and I’d be making more than enough to support us.”

At that, you lift up your head to look at him with a frown. “Can I work as an Alpha’s mate? Will they even accept me as a rabbit shifter?” There’s a tone of worry to your voice that has him frowning, his wolf demanding he console you and take care.

“Hey, hey. It doesn’t matter, Alpha’s don’t always need to mate with wolves. If anything, you’ll be the perfect mate as normally the mate of the Alpha is the one who is the balancing stone to them. I’ll turn to you when the pack is relying on me. And in turn, you can rely on me.” He presses a kiss to your nose gently.

“Trust me, you can work. I would never demand anything of you and I will 100% support you in anything you want to do. Whether you want to get a normal job, or start a business or something. Whatever it is, I’m here for you. Don’t think that just because I’m your mate, you can’t be independent.”

You stay quiet before your mouth creases into a smile, eyes lighting up in the morning sun and his stomach flips. “That...is why I chose to claim you. I’ll be your support hero. Just like you do now, when you’re feeling stressed or upset or tired when something is annoying you then just talk to me. Tell me. I’ll be your confidant, so that you can do your job properly.”

He laughs loudly at that, head flinging back on his pillow as happiness rolls through his body. “You don’t make me sound like a big bad wolf, you know that?” Hoseok teases, nudging your nose before pressing a closed mouth kiss to your lips.

You giggle and kiss him back contentedly, moving back before sighing. “You may not be, but you’re still my wolf.” The words sound familiar and it takes a moment before he remembers what he told you in the park when you both started dating, causing him to snicker lightly.

“Is that going to be our cheesy go-to line in our relationship?” He asks, teeth flashing white as a smile takes over his face.

“Maybe. But it’s a good line right?” You whisper, wrinkling your nose at him. Hoseok simply watches you, his heart in his eyes before nodding.

“Yeah, it is. And you’re right. I am your wolf. And I hope you never regret that.”

“Never. This little bunny, will definitely live happily ever after.”

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takerfoxx · 5 years ago

Text

The Rise of Skywalker Review

All right, new year, new decade, and all that jazz. Now, I do have a few things I wanna say about reflecting back on where I was and where I am now, personal growth and all that, but first, I have some major I need to get out of my system, something that’s been eating at my mind all week, something I really need to sit down and dissect to properly suss out my thoughts and feelings.

And that thing is this: what the fuck happened with The Rise of Skywalker?!

Now, just for the record, I’m that lapsed Star Wars fan who grew up with the original trilogy, who had a full shelf of EU novels that I read and reread over and over until their covers fell off, who spent untold hours replaying both of the Knights of the Old Republic games, was majorly let down by the prequels and became disillusioned by the franchise as a result, who reacted to the news of Disney’s acquisition of the franchise with cyncisim, who thought that The Force Awakens was decent but otherwise substance-less knock-off of A New Hope, who was bored to tears by Rogue One, who skipped Solo entirely, but who actually was surprising engaged and receptive to the subversive themes and new places that The Last Jedi took the franchise even if it was very flawed structurally and thought that it was the best Star Wars film since Return of the Jedi.

And hell, let’s just state my reasons right now. The Last Jedi came out at a time when I was just so tired of people trying to recapture lightning in a bottle with once-great franchises that had lived on long past their expiration date with trying to pass off clearly inferior knock-offs to their original installments as sequels. I mean, it can work, sure. Both of the Creed movies followed the Rocky movie formula pretty closely but were still great, and even if it didn’t click with me the way it did with other people, Fury Road was a fantastic film. The thing is though, both of those movies were still being handled by their original creators, specifically Sylvester Stallone and George Miller, while my beloved Star Wars and Jurassic Park had become divorced from their daddies and were now being handled by people who just. Didn’t. Get it.

And then The Last Jedi came along and was all, “Shut up about bloodlines, they don’t matter! Your main character is not the descendant of some already established character, she’s just some rando Force-sensitive that caught up in all this and decided to answer the call, so let her stand on her own! The Jedi were a well-meaning but immensely flawed, so leave them in the annuals of history and stop venerating them! Same with your heroes! Also, your Resistance has its hands dirty too because it’s a fucking war and war makes monsters of everybody while the little people suffer, sometimes you need to listen to the people in charge instead of being a hothead bucking the system, and the intimidating villains in black are in truth a bunch of insecure man-children playing dress-up to make them feel better about themselves and are pretty pathetic until they take that last step and become actual threats because that is how fascism works!”

Do you realize just how refreshing all of that was? Oh my God, is the Star Wars franchise actually…moving forward? Are we getting new stuff that’s not hampered by George Lucas’s unbearably hackneyed writing?

Yes, the whole Finn and Rose sidequest contributed nothing to the plot and ultimately went nowhere. Yes, the whole Poe vs. Admiral Holdo had the looming question of “Why doesn’t she just tell Poe that she’s got a plan instead of doing everything to set the team rebel off?” which undercut its message. These are major problems, I acknowledge that. The thing is, they are easily fixable problems that would have been smoothed out by a few more script treatments. It sucks that they weren’t, but as for me, they were roadbumps, not dealbreakers. I noticed them, I saw that they were major problems, but they didn’t make me angry, and I liked what they were trying to say enough for me to still be with it. And I felt that all the Luke/Rey/Kylo stuff was gangbusters (yes, I loved cranky, disillusioned old Luke. I know Mark Hamill didn’t care for it, but that’s fine, it worked great for me), so I ultimately left feeling pleasantly surprised. As if in, it was a flawed but very refreshing experience, one that said things I had been feeling for a long time and took things to interesting places that I actually wanted to see play out. I even got choked up when Luke let himself fade away when feeling absolutely nothing when Han died the previous film.

Unfortunately, that seemed to be a minority opinion, with many other Star Wars fan outright detesting it, sometimes to a pretty gross level (you know what I’m talking about). So when JJ Abrams was brought back on board to try to salvage things for the final installment, my reaction was, “I’m going to hate it, aren’t I?”

Still, I knew I was going to see it anyway, just to say that I did. And…welp.

…

Dafuq was that?

All right, all right, now before I continue, I need to acknowledge something. First of all, I have nothing against JJ Abrams as a person or even really as an artist. From all accounts he’s a cool guy who’s been taking all the backlash he’s been getting with a commendable amount of maturity, and he was placed in a very unenviable position by taking the reins in the midst of a very volatile situation. Plus, he had set a ton of things up in TFA that TLJ burned to the ground. Granted, it was a bonfire that I thoroughly enjoyed, but as the person watching his ideas just get cut off, that must have been frustrating watch. Like, what was he supposed to work with once he was brought back on after Colin Trevorrow had gotten the boot? And on a side-note, they really need to stop bringing Colin Trevorrow into big blockbuster franchises.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, we had the tragic passing of Carrie Fisher, which, in addition to being a terrible loss in general because she was a wonderful person that we’re all the poorer without, this movie was supposed to in some way revolve thematically around her, much like the TFA did with Han and TLJ did with Luke. But with her gone, they were just left with footage and recorded dialogue from deleted scenes from the first two films, which is next to nothing to go off of. Now there’s a debate to be had about whether or not it would be appropriate to CG her face onto a different actress, and I do get them feeling that doing so would be ghoulish…but they kinda already did that to bring Tarkin back in Rogue One, so…

Even so, that really sucks, and as awkward as the Princess Leia scenes are as a result, it isn’t their fault, so I’ll leave it at that.

And finally, it must also be acknowledged that a lot of the things I’m going to criticize them for were present in the original trilogy, and were just as awkward then. The OG movies weren’t perfect, folks. We’ve come to accept these flaws, but they were just as clumsy asspulls back then as they are now.

All right, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I actually want to start off on a positive note, specifically talking about the stuff I liked.

Let’s begin with the thing that I consider to not only be good, but actually kind of great: the relationship between Rey and Kylo Ren. Their weird Force-link in TLJ was one of the few new ideas that everyone seemed to like, especially since neither of them could really control it and were equally befuddled by it. It’s just a cool idea, a new aspect of the Force we haven’t seen before, and it’s slowly built upon, actually affects both the plot and the characters, and leads to some great scenes between the two of them.

And you know what? I was actually surprised by how much I liked these two together. After the wooden pile of bleh that was Anakin and Padme, I was bracing myself for more of the same. But as it turns out, Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver have an incredible amount of chemistry, and Adam especially was able to pull off the whole tortured bad boy who’s trying to be a villain but feels endlessly conflicted in a way that Hayden Christensen never could (though to be fair, Adam had way more to work with). So giving them that weird link where they’re forced to interact at different points despite being galaxies across from one another is a fantastic idea.

And I was happy to see that not only was this idea not walked back on, they actually built on it. Without giving too much away, there’s an amazing scene where they actually have a lightsaber fight despite being in two completely different locations and not really knowing where the other is, with the camera jumping back and forth from each other’s perspective and items from each other’s surroundings keep getting thrown into the other’s area and it’s honestly really great.

There were also a lot of visuals that were pretty great. The whole indoor lightning of the Sith Planet was neat, as was the flying stormtroopers, and that festival was pretty cool, and…

Actually, come to think of it, most of the scenes in this movie are, when viewed in isolation, pretty good, and could have worked if they had been buffeted by, you know, proper buildup, actual pacing, and taking the time to let events have weight.

But that leads us to this movie’s biggest failing, the problem that bring the whole thing crashing down. And that is it will just. Not. Slow. Down!

Seriously, don’t take a bathroom break, because if you do, you’ll come back to find everybody on a totally different planet doing something completely different, and the plot point you left on is completely in the rearview. It’s exhausting how quickly this movie jumps around from place to place, where we get a look at a setting and characters that might have been interesting if we got to spend actual time with them, only to drop it and we’re onto the next part. This isn’t a story, it’s a list of bullet points! It’s a three hour highlight reel of a whole-ass fourth trilogy, one that could have been cool to watch if they had chopped it up into three parts and fleshed them out into three movies. Hell, I’ll tell you where to end each one: Rey vs. Kylo on the Star Destroyer, Rey vs. Kylo on the wreckage of the Death Star, and the actual finale. Expand on the stuff in between, flesh things out with actual, you know, character development and consequences instead of zipping around, trying to come up with as many places as they can to cram into Star Tours’ randomizer.

And that’s what this basically is, an overly long Star Tours ride! Now I like Star Tours just fine, because it visits places that hold actual meaning due to being properly developed in actual movies, but these places just left me feeling hollow. And while we’re on the subject, did we really need another desert planet, ice planet, and forest planet combo? Spice things the fuck up! Say what you want about the prequels, but at least they tried to take us to cool new places.

And you know what? I’m going to say it. This movie is actually worse than the prequels. Not because it’s nearly as clumsily written and woodenly acted, or because it’s dragged down by dumb attempts at comedy; it’s none of those things. But at least the prequels were trying! George Lucas might be totally inept as a writer and should not have been given free reign, but there were attempts at things like proper plot and character development, pacing, plot twists, mystery, building things up and paying them off. Just go read the novelization of Revenge of the Sith. It’s fantastic! Same plot, same events happening, same conversations, but the dialogue is reworked to give the characters actual personality and it’s narratively told in an awesome and creative way and it’s overall just a great book. So George Lucas’s movies had the framework of a good story, he just wasn’t the right person to tell it.

In contrast, this movie has actual good acting, and the dialogue isn’t anywhere nearly as corny, but it’s just so unbelievably basic. It’s surface level writing, with barely a hint of cleverness and very little personality other than what the actors are about to wrangle out through their performances. But structure-wise, other than to expand it into a full trilogy, I don’t see how anyone can turn this mess into an engaging, single-movie narrative. So much happens, and it just feels so empty.

And…okay. Let’s address the Bantha in the room. Let’s talk about Palpatine.

Why is he back? Why? Just…why? He doesn’t need to be back! He doesn’t! It’s stupid, it’s hackneyed, it’s not even explained! I mean, there’s an offhand mention of cloning, so yeah, it’s feasible, it just makes no narrative sense! Hell, the fucking opening title crawl just plain says, “Yeah, he’s back. No reason, he just is” and goes on from that. And apparently he’s been behind everything that’s happened, like Snoke and Vader’s voice in Kylo Ren’s head and stuff, because things just can’t happen without being masterminded by someone I guess.

Really? This is the best they could come up with? I know TLJ cut off a lot of their plot branches, but goddamn it, this is the best you’ve got? Resurrect Palpatine? They do remember that the first two movies from the trilogy barely had the emperor as a presence, right? Vader carried them all just fine! Just run with that! Have Kylo Ren be the main antagonist! Have this be able his ascension to actual mega threat instead of Darth Vader cosplayer. If you want Ian McDiarmid to ham it up in the robes one last time (and hey, who wouldn’t?) just give him a cameo! Like, a holographic message to any potential successors Kylo Ren is looking for. Have him be the devil on Kylo’s shoulder in a is-he-real-is-he-just-a-hallucination sort of way. Make him something tempting Kylo Ren to fully embrace being the new Sith Lord, something Kylo has to overcome if he wants redemption. But don’t bring him fucking back! That’s just so, so stupid.

And Rey being Palpatine’s granddaughter kind of pisses me off. Her being revealed as a nobody from nowhere in the last film was great! I loved that idea! But no, let’s just retcon that whole business because we’re trying to apologize for the only one of these movies that had any balls and everybody has to be the descendant of someone important. Even fucking Lando gets a long-lost daughter in this! No, I’m not joking, he totally does.

Now, could Rey’s Sith heritage have worked? Sure! In of itself, it’s a rad idea, one that could have been used to explore all sorts of awesome themes…if that had been their plan from the beginning instead of a cheap attempt to replicate Empire’s big plot twist. But let’s face it: they threw it in as a desperate attempt to placate the fans. There never was any sort of plan. Abrams made the first movie with the sole intention of trying to recapture that nostalgic feel and fucked off, Rian Johnson took over with no notes and decided to do what he wanted, Trevorrow got fired, and Abrams got brought back for PR reasons because hey, people liked his movie, and he had to scramble to piece something together! Damn it, Disney! You literally have infinite resources! Hire someone with actual creative talent!

Oh wait, you did, and people hated it. Fuck.

So yeah. Rey’s parentage? Total waste, raises more questions than it answers. Chewie’s apparent death? Total waste, because he was actually on another ship! Though you could Force sense these things, Rey! Dark Side Rey in the trailer? Total waste, just a Force vision. That whole bit with C-3PO potentially sacrificing his entire identity? Total waste. No one seems to care, he gets no say, and after his memory gets wiped it’s treated as comic relief. Yeah, one last look at your friends indeed, Threepio. Some friends you have there. Oh, except Artoo’s got your memory backed up, so it doesn’t matter, just like everything else.

Oh yeah, and fuck Chewie’s medal! Who was really asking for that?

What a mess. What a disjointed, soulless, pandering mess. What a waste of potential, squandered on nothing. Bleh.

Oh well, at least we still have the Mandalorian. I’ve started watching that and it’s really cool so far.

#star wars #the rise of skywalker #rey #kylo ren #jj abrams #the last jedi #the force awakens #george lucas #rant

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jackshithere · 6 years ago

Text

Long interview with Paul (October 26 , 2005)

Some particular zingers:

beurgueur: do you think you'll be on stage again when you'll be 60? (like rolling stones for example...) Paul: Hopefully somebody will die first. Then we won't have to worry about that.

Synthema: Do you still feel that being in Rammstein is almost like being in a six-way marriage? Does the band still function as a tight a unit or have things drifted apart? Paul: Yeah. Paul: We're still together. Knock on wood. We've been together for 10 years and now that we've gone through our crisis, we feel better than ever. Paul: We've got money, success, beautiful women and all the rest. Paul: Things can only get worse.

luna: First "Snow White" now "Rose Red". Do the members of Rammstein have a fondness for fairytales? Paul: Who doesn't?

MafiUndomiel: how did you and Richard decided who was going to be lead and who rythm guitars? Paul: Good question. Paul: We're both stubborn. Paul: It's a fight every time but we're still doing alright up to now. Paul: Actually, the winner is supposed to be the one who plays the best solo.

source

Full interview under the cut

atomrt: how do you chose the sounds for each song because all of them fit perfectly?

Paul: Thanks a lot! Sometimes that works out well, sometimes not so well.

maria: Your album covers have always sparked a lot of controversy. Which cover is your favourite and why? Paul: The cover for Sehnsucht was the most dramatic in my opinion.

Benzramm: What was coming out of the fake penis during the live act "Bück Dich"? Paul: That was water with Ouzo to make it milky.

Beurgueur: Good evening, Have you ever thought to write a metal-opera based on rammstein’ story? Paul: Hopefully not. We have enough theater elements already.

MafiUndomiel: I was at River Plate Stadium in Argentina, 1999, when you toured with KISS. You did almost surpassed KISS music and show with your impact, and many people was really impressed. I still remember the silence during Du Hast, as Till was singing the refrain. What do you remember of Argentina, of this show? Paul: Yeah, that was unbelievable. It's a shame that we can't play in South America this time. Flake was seriously ill.

MafiUndomiel: Did Till write Te Quiero Puta on his own, or had some kind of external help? I know it's not very complicated, nor elaborated in the lyrics, but it's not easy to put two or three sentences together if you don't know the language... believe me! I'm still trying with German! Paul: He had some help from his girlfriend and from Flake's friend from Chile. Paul: But Till can already speak Spanish so well that he only had a few questions about grammar.

monkeyman: What type of gear do you use when recording in the studio? Paul: This would take two hours to list. Too much for now. Sorry.

Hugo: Why did you choose almost the same cover for the japanese version of Reise, Reise and Rosenrot? Paul: Because we thought it would be a shame to use the cover only for the Japanese edition.

MafiUndomiel: There are many bands that edited DVD and VHS with the footage they got when they recorded their albums, the creative process and all that stuff. Since many R+ fans are really interested in knowing "Rammstein's kitchen", have you considered releasing something of that kind? Paul: I filmed some of the footage during Reise, Reise and it will come out sometime on a DVD as bonus material.

blastedop: What happened to Live DVD? It was delayed? Paul: Yeah a little bit, but we're going to try to do it this year.

MafiUndomiel: I wanted to know how did you put your setlists together when you go to a country you've never been... you mix old and new material, or you prefer to show your new material above all, and play only the "classics"? Paul: We play a mix of both old and new.

Jenna: As you are possibly the most successful band from Germany (singing in German) that you are expected to represent German music and culture to the rest of the world? Paul: It was never our plan to play all over the world. Paul: Sometimes we wonder ourselves how this all happened.

beurgueur: what american film director would you enjoy to make a ckip with Paul: Tarantino.

Benzramm: Did you ever get hurt when you were working with fire on the live acts ? Paul: Sometimes.

aeon: One Rammstein member said you had a movie project with Werner Herzog. Do you think this project will be carried out and would you like to act in something different from Rammstein videos ? Paul: It's been awhile with WErner herzog. Maybe it will work out, there's still a plan to do it.

Rammsteinizied: Dear Paul: What is your favorite live performance effect? (like the flamethrowes in Feuer frei or the bow in DRSG)

Paul: The nose flame throwers that we use in Feuer frei!

MafiUndomiel: Which was your first guitar? Do you still own it? Paul: It was a Telecaster copy. A cheap one. I gave away my first guitars at an auction for a good cause. No idea whether it worked out.

Straya: This has been in my mind for a while now, and I must ask. From the sample songs on the official site, it seems Rosenrot might be your 'hardest/loudest' albums, the songs seem 'hard', in a way, like Ich Will, Feuer Frei, and Mein Teil; what do you think of this? Paul: I don't think so. There are fewer sequences so the guitars come out better.

Jenna: Do you think your videos help to stop you taking yourselves too seriously? Paul: We've always taken ourselves less seriously than many people think. our best friends know this. Paul: At the moment, we don't feel like making any humouress videos.

whiskeypapa: When writing a song, how many/what kinds of revisions does the song go through before finally making it onto an album? Paul: Some songs make it out directly as we conceived them. With other songs, we make 20 versions and they still don't make it.

Noora: HI! I'm a fashion and design student from Finland and I was wondering about your stage costumes...How much do you participate in the designing and making of the outfits that you use on your tours? I understand that every album has its own look. Do you first design the outline of the look as a band and hen consult a designer and maker? Thanx and welcome back to Finland! :) Paul: Most ideas come directly from the band. For the last outfit, we had the idea to combine Bavarian folkloric outfits with industrial. Paul: Because Bavarian folklore is not very cool and we like to mix things that you're not supposed to.

Beurgueur: Have you ever thought in what your life would be now if rammstein never was created? Paul: No. We don't think that way.

minx: It’s been stated in several interviews that the band has two pyromaniacs in the group, but is there anyone who is not so fond of fire? Paul: Everybody in the band has a different specialty. Paul: Each of us is really equally important. Paul: It doesn'T matter what each does, it could be better when two are on vacation during preparation and actually help us to make a good video this way.

Badeend: Who thinks of the titles of the cd's? Is it some kind of democraty or is it 1 man that decides? Paul: We make the decision as a group but it's not really a democracy. More like a board of directors.

Biz: How have older industrial bands (such as Laibach or KMFDM) influenced you? Paul: A lot. Paul: Also Ministry.

minx: What is the oily black/brown liquid that you are all covered with on stage? Is it a fire retardant liquid? Paul: No. Paul: That's a secret.

minx: Why did you wear a paper bag over your head at the concert in Tallin, last November? Paul: I wanted to display an Iraqi prisoner. Paul: There's a photo of a guy behind barbed wire and he's holding his son but he has a bag on his head. Paul: That photo really had an impact on me.

aeon: Why do you only do signing sessions in London and Paris? Why not in other big cities f Europe or even Germany? Or is anything planned? Paul: Actually we've only planned for Paris. London snuck in at the last minute. Paul: I don't know any more signing sessions details right now.

Badeend: Did you take gitar lessons or did you teach it on your self? Paul: Self-taught.

minx: I am going to be at the signing in London on Sunday. Do you enjoy doing those types of promotional events or are they just ‘hard work’? Paul: Sometimes it's a lot of fun but other times it can be exhausting.

Synthema: It could be said that the "Rosenrot" photos are quite a departure image-wise from what one would expect from the band. Was this something that was decided by the band for a particular reason, or is this the sort of decision that is out of your hands? Does your management or record label have much control over how you present yourselves, or is that left to you? Paul: We don't like to repeat ourselves. Paul: Usually the band always has the last word on these amtters. But wer'e not always interested in all of the details.

Badeend: What is the new instrument you used in the song Te Quiero Puta? Paul: Trumpet.

beurgueur: do you think you'll be on stage again when you'll be 60? (like rolling stones for example...) Paul: Hopefully somebody will die first. Then we won't have to worry about that.

minx: Do you do you all do own make-up for the shows? Paul: Yes.

OK-River: Will Rammstein play again "Bück Dich" in a concert, or it is something of the past? Paul: I wouldn't say no.

blastedop: Rosenrot is so diferent from Reise Reise. How is this possible if these songs are from Reise Reise recording season? Paul: I don't think so. Listen to the whole album.

Benzramm: Are you a sort of scared when flake is going with his boat in the public ? Paul: No. Paul: But it was always Oli last year.

whiskeypapa: Which of your songs invokes the most emotion from you? Paul: Seemann.

MsBehaviour: Greetings from Finland and good evening! My question is, you have been playing together as a band for quite a many years now, and there is a big difference in the sound of Herzeleid and the sound of Reise Reise. Does this "evolution" come naturally to you, or do you make conscious decisions as to where to direct your sound? How do you feel about the change? Paul: There are some of us who want to stay the same. Paul: There's some of us who want to always change. Paul: These parties fight each other and the result is a new album or a black eye.

MafiUndomiel: Have you heard a cover version of Keine Lust made by a Russian guy called Miguel? What did you think about it? Paul: Not yet, unfortunately.

Badeend: Do you have a private jet or do you have to rent a plane? Paul: When the record company pays, we fly Business. When we have to pay, it'S Tourist class. Sometimes, when the connections are difficult, we rent a litlle jet.

luna: First "Snow White" now "Rose Red". Do the members of Rammstein have a fondness for fairytales? Paul: Who doesn't?

Synthema: Do you still enjoy performing live after all these years, or is it more of a chore now? Paul: If we didn't like it, we wouldn't have been around so long.

Benzramm: Is there a double meaning in the songtexts of your songs ? Paul: Yeah. But the subtleties and double-meanings get lost in translation.

Badeend: What is your favorite song or cd? Paul: Kill Bill 1.

DRS2G: Is "Hilf Mir" inspired by a Heinrich Hoffmann's tale?! Paul: Yes.

Synthema: Have you ever felt that the success of Rammstein has been a negative thing for you in your personal life? That it makes it difficult to decide who to trust and who not to? Paul: It is difficult to stay normal despite money and success. Paul: We fight this on a daily battle but we usually win.

Beurgueur: from a viewer: what guitar do you use for your c tuning, and what guitar does richard use for this? Paul: I play a Gibson Les Paul and Richard plays ESP guitars.

Benzramm: Did you really go to the mountains for the videoclip "Ohne Dich"? Paul: Yes. The was the funnest video of them all. Paul: The thin air up there was difficult. Paul: I'm impressed by mountain climbers who go even higher. Paul: It was difficult for our crew and us.

MafiUndomiel: how did you and richard decided who was going to be lead and who rythm guitars? Paul: Good question. Paul: We're both stubborn. Paul: It's a fight every time but we're still doing alright up to now. Paul: Actually, the winner is supposed to be the one who plays the best solo.

Badeend: Do you still have to take guitar lessons to play better? Paul: No.

blastedop: Do you visit fansites? How about a Top 10 Fansites in the official page? Paul: From time to time.

Badeend: Why did you pick just that girl for the Texas vocal in Stirb nich vor Mir? Paul: It was our producer's idea.

MafiUndomiel: Paul, is there any country that you´d like to visit or going on tour, and you haven´t yet? Why? Paul: Yes, we would love to go to Turkey, Mongolia, Iraq. We know we've got lots of fans there.

Jenna: Which current musicians (Not youselves, I'm sorry) do you think are creating the best work at the moment? Paul: System of a Down, Muse, Snoop Doggy Dog, Eminem, Slip Knot, etc.

Rammsteinizied: Dear Paul, How do you feel about us fans? Paul: It's an honour.

DRS2G: Will "Rosenrot" be the 2nd single from your new album?! Paul: Yes.

Straya: I'm wondering how this question has not come up yet... but, plenty of people are asking if you guys will tour in America and Canada. I don't mean for this to be one of those annoying questions. But, has anything be talked about? Paul: I'm certain that we'll tour North and South America with our next album.

rammsteinuk: I read in a recent interview that there were some arguments within the band during the production of 'Mutter'. Have there been any more strong disagreements like this since? Paul: Thankfully not. There's always stress when six stubborn people meet, but nothing serious.

minx: Most influential musician on yourself? Paul: Laibach, Ministry, Metallica, Nirvana.

blastedop: Did you like Benzin video? Schneider didnt. Paul: I don't think it's that bad. Paul: We've had three really good videos in a row, so it's hard to keep the standards so high. Paul: I'm glad that there's some variation, next time we'll improve.

whiskeypapa: First, Reise Reise saw a "country moment" with Los, and now Rosenrot has Te Quiero Puta. If you could make a fusion of Rammstein and any other world music (for fun), what would it be? Paul: Yes, I interested in all combinations of things that don't fit together.

Biz: Are there any downsides to being famous? Paul: We're famous but we can still buy groceries in Berlin without bodyguards. Paul: We've got nothing to complain about. Paul: Our band is famous around the world but we still have normal lives, thank God.

minty: Paul are you looking forward to the world cup next year? who will win? Paul: Yes. It doesn'T look good for Germany right now. Paul: I hope that a miracle happens.

aeon: Do you hope your music will still be appreciated in many years from now or it doesn't matter to you ? Paul: I think that we're relatively timeless. Paul: But that'S probably what every band thinks and two years later nobody cares ...

DRS2G: Was it good to be directed by Jonas Akerlund?! Paul: Yes, he's just a cool guy.

Ashr: I really liked Keine Lust video, whose was the idea that you were fat? Paul: It was Schneider's idea. Paul: Inside the suits it was really hot. Paul: Thankfully, the warehouse was really cold. Paul: The whole crew had to freeze but we sweated like pigs. Paul: The fat make-up took around 4 hours. Paul: But it was still a lot of fun. Paul: Most of all, when we had to piss. Paul: But I won't tell any more details on that.

sipp: would you ever consider to bring another musicians on stage during concerts like a trumpet player or so,I really love trumpets maybe because I'm married to that kind of musician unfurnetly he really hates you but I really love your songs and the sound Paul: Six is more than enough. Paul: If you ever see us with backing singers, bongo players and horn section, please shoot me!

Tomix: Is it real the blood of Till in Live Aus Berlin ?? Paul: Sometimes he hits his head so hard with the mic that he bleeds. Paul: Thanks a lot I'm going home now. Paul: See you in five years. Paul: Just joking, we'll be back.

#Rammstein #quote #article #Rammstein glossary #These tags are stupid #Paul Landers #interview

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the-elemental-sides · 6 years ago

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The Elemental Sides: Chapter 8

Urban fantasy AU: The Sides are four spirits trapped in an amulet. When Thomas finds it and puts it on, he gains the powers of the four elements…or that’s what should have happened, but mistakes were made. Now the Sides have to coach him in their respective elements while Thomas deals with both his new powers and his ability to see into the magical realm. Not only is magic real, but there’s some pretty intimidating stuff out there, and only Thomas and the Sides have the power to stop it.

A/N: It is here! Chapter 8, my favorite number! It’s been about a year since the creation of this blog + the very first chapter of TES. Thanks so much for sticking with me. May this story be finished by 2020!

Taglist: @shinylyni, @hissesssss, @vexation-virgil, @madd-catter, @rptheturk, @nienna14, @ryuity, @asofterfan, @robanilla, @k9cat, @ab-artist, @absoluteamethyst, @a-box-o-jills, @captain-loki-xavier, @lynisnotamused, @literally-just-for-fanfics, @alix-the-skeleton, @generalfandomfabulousness, @lunareclipse-524

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7

*** Thomas and Roman, spirits, faced off in the middle of his living room.

“No hitting,” warned Patton. He paused. “Okay, that’s the only rule. Go wild, kids!”

They moved at the same time. Thomas’ hand burst into flame, but it was literally sucked out of his grasp by Roman and thrown back into his face. Since it was translucent, the fire passed through him harmlessly and splashed against the far wall.

“Point to Roman,” Logan said to the book in his hands. He marked a tally on Roman’s side of the chalkboard, but it ended up sideways because he wasn’t looking at what he was doing.

“Three weeks and I haven’t gotten a single point,” groaned Thomas. “Against any of you!”

“It’s about more than just who can fire the first shot, cowboy,” said Roman. “It’s about willpower! You have to really control your powers, not just summon them.”

“Okay.” Thomas swept his hair out of his face, vaguely wondering how Virgil could stand having bangs in his eyes all the time. “Can I try again?”

“More like you can try, again. Patton, count us off!”

“Three-two-one-fight!”

This time, Thomas was a little more prepared. He waited for Roman to pitch the first fireball before catching it from midair and chucking it back. The fire flew back and forth between them before Roman caught it and extinguished the flame.

“That’s cheating!” Thomas protested.

“I think not! I was just getting bored.”

“Boo, lame.”

“I agree, point to Thomas,” said Logan, marking the board.

Thomas fist-pumped while Roman protested. “I was just playing around. Look! More fire! I can keep going.”

“Actually, you should be done for the day,” Virgil interrupted. “I don’t want Thomas to run out of energy. He promised he’d practice water today, too.”

“Aw, but we’re on a roll!”

“No, he’s right,” Thomas agreed. “I’m kind of falling behind with water.”

“No such problems with earth, because I am the best teacher,” Logan muttered into his book.

Roman turned on him. “Are not!”

“Completely am.”

“I don’t mean to brag, but Thomas is pretty darn good with my air powers, considering he’s an Earthbender,” Patton remarked. (He’d finally caught up with Avatar and had completely bought into how they handled elemental powers in the series.) “So maybe he’s just natur-air-ly talented?”

“You’re impossible.”

In the weeks since he’d fought his first shadow monster, Thomas had had a lot of adjusting to do. While he was capable of destroying the smaller shadows when he came across them on busy streets, in buildings, and even in his own apartment, the Sides continued to coach him. They didn’t want another close call like they’d had with that big one in the grocery store.

It didn’t feel like he was making much of a difference, but the Sides applauded him every time he destroyed one of the little bad-vibe blobs. They were even thrilled every time he showed that he was improving with their powers. He couldn’t see any tangible difference in the world around him, but through their encouragement Thomas did start to feel a little like he was becoming a hero.

Meanwhile, besides the Sides, life continued as usual. Thomas was working just as hard on his videos. He was hard at work on his second episode of Cartoon Therapy–which was, of course, based off Avatar.

The first time he showed up to the space they’d rented, already in his Picani garb, Joan gave him a weird look when they met him at the door. “You’re still wearing that necklace?”

Thomas looked down at the crystal. Being huge and sparkly, it was difficult not to notice and impossible to hide under a shirt. “Oh, yeah, guess I am.”

“I mean, wear whatever, dude. But I don’t get what it has to do with Picani.”

“No, you’re right, I’ll take it off.” Thomas reached for the chain. Of course he had to take the crystal off sometimes, for showering and stuff, but the Sides always hated it when they were forced back in the crystal for a while. When he wasn’t in direct contact with it, they couldn’t keep up their mind palace and all the other cool amenities they’d built inside. They had to go back to the dreamless state that Logan explained they’d existed in for the last fifteen years.

He waited a beat just to make sure he had their permission. Roman, acting emissary, appeared. He simultaneously gave Thomas a thumbs down, shrugged, and stuck his tongue out: we don’t like it, but you do what you need. Thomas tugged the crystal off and felt a little lonely when their presences disappeared from the back of his head. After that, the filming session went fine.

Between managing his YouTube career, finding time for his friends, and practicing his steadily improving magic powers on unsuspecting shadow blobs, Thomas was busier than ever. So it surprised him when Patton started egging him to take a vacation.

“Now? Really?”

“Sure, kiddo! Don’t you deserve a mental health day?”

“I’m fine,” Thomas said with a frown. “I mean, I’m holding up okay…”

“He’s right, actually,” Logan said, popping into view in Thomas’ chair (Thomas and Patton were currently in the kitchen trying to cook up some Indian food, and it was going poorly). “We’ve been discussing this. While I agree it’s important to keep your mental state functioning properly, the purpose of this vacation would also be to allow your to exercise your powers in ways you might be less familiar wi–Patton, watch out!”

“Oops!” Patton had thrown a handful of curry leaves into a pan on the stove, which was filled with oil sizzling at max heat. It immediately burst into flames.

On instinct, Patton dodged in front of Thomas and shot a blast of air at the smoking pan. It did nothing but spatter oil droplets all over the table and Logan, who was unamused. Thomas put out the fire by scooping it up in his hands and extinguishing it.

“...Oops.”

“Patton, honestly. How did you ever feed yourself?”

“I get the feeling it involved a lot of ice cream for dinner!”

“Whew.” Thomas exhaled. Fire was actually a lot less scary when you could just kind of...erase it.

“As I was saying,” Logan said in a clipped voice, “by ‘vacation,’ we’re not telling you to hang around at home in your pajamas for three days. No, what we’re suggesting is that you go learn some history....about the origin of your powers.”

“Wow! I could do that?”

“Well, of course. Where do you think we got the crystal?”

“I have no idea! Where?”

Logan paused. “...We don’t know either. Our time in the crystal left our memories, ah, spotty. Some vital details such as this have been lost. However, Virgil, who tends to remember these things best, has an inkling of where exactly he obtained it.”

“That’s right,” Virgil said, appearing–and sitting on the table, but luckily his butt was a ghost at the moment anyway. He glared at Patton. “And jeez, Pat, were you trying to give me a heart attack?”

“Oi’l be more careful next time!”

“Pretending I didn’t hear that. Thomas, here’s what I remember. When we, uh. When we decided to test the whole crystal thing, we knew we needed a good one, obviously. We got our powers and then we started searching around for something, some kind of gem, that matched the parameters Logan laid out.”

“Robust. Undamaged. Prismatic. Sensitive to magic—by that, we mean whether it reacted when placed in certain stress simulations involving the shadows.”

“Uh, yeah. So I found a good one in this one super goth back-alley jewelry store–”

Thomas gasped. “Borgin and Burkes?!”

“No? I don’t know what that is? Look, anyway, I found a good one, s–uhh, I stole it–”

“WHAT”

“–and brought it back to everyone else.”

“You STOLE it?” Patton cried. “But that’s totally against why we wanted it in the first place! Fighting evil! Remember?”

“I know. But the alternative worried me more.”

“Well, I’m not really happy about that, sport, but it’s too late to do anything about it now. Maybe they won the lottery in the last fifteen years and got their money back…?”

“Virgil, do you recall the name and location of this place?” Logan asked.

“Can’t say I do. Well–I think it was near Florida. I remember driving for a while during the night. There was a lot of fog….I could sort of tune into it with my powers, so I could sense the surrounding area. Something was near me, like a big, dark cold spot. It might’ve been a shadow, but bigger than one I’ve ever seen.” He shuddered. “I had to get away from it, so I turned off the highway, drove for a while, stopped at a gas station, and...there it was.”

“Well, that’s vague,” Thomas mused.

“Do you think that we’d be able to recreate your path if Thomas were to search for it?”

“Uh….maybe? It’s possible?”

“That’s sufficient enough for me,” Logan declared. “All right, Thomas, the parameters of your vacation are this. You are to find the location and source of this crystal and interrogate the owners of the establishment for information.”

“Information like….”

“Well, whether there’s a way to expedite your learning process. Whether we can get out of this crystal. Perhaps we can find a way for all four of us to assume solid form without damaging you.”

“And this involves a lot of driving…” Thomas said to himself. “So, if this is really important to you guys, it sounds like we’re going on a–”

“ROAD TRIP!” Patton hollered, throwing up his arms and upturning the pan on the stove, which had been steadily burning their dinner to a crisp the entire time. Oil, curry, chicken, and the whole mess slopped onto the stove and promptly exploded in a shower of hot oil.

“...road trip.”

“PATTON!”

***

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #sanders sides au #chapter #the elemental sides

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letterboxd · 6 years ago

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Emma Tammi Q&A.

“To be able to really see her for who she really is when she’s by herself is such a powerful thing since it turns out that she’s a real badass.”

Caitlin Gerard as Lizzy Macklin in Emma Tammi’s ‘The Wind’.

Of the many possible source materials for a feature film, never overlook the short. Jim Cummings’ Thunder Road, Gillian Robespierre’s Obvious Child, Damien Chazelle’s Whiplash, Andrés Muschietti’s Mama, and Sean Ellis’s Cashback all began life as short films. And more: the Saw films. District 9. Dee Rees’ Pariah. Jennifer Kent’s Monster (which she expanded into The Babadook).

After a start in documentaries, director Emma Tammi makes her feature debut with The Wind, a lengthened version of a short film called The Winter, adapted by its writer Teresa Sutherland. The supernatural Western horror revolves around Lizzy Macklin (Caitlin Gerard, Insidious: The Last Key, The Social Network), a woman left alone in a lob cabin on the plains, who is fighting to not lose her mind.

Letterboxd contributor Jack Moulton chatted with Tammi about her narrative debut, the cultural references infused in this haunting feminist chiller, and Westerns in the #MeToo era.

Letterboxd: Let’s start with your take on the origins of this project and how you were brought on board to direct The Wind? Emma Tammi: The screenwriter Teresa Sutherland was a film student at Florida State University and she made a short film called The Winter, which was loosely based on the same themes as The Wind. Our producer Christopher Alender, who is also alumni of FSU, saw the short and encouraged her to expand it into a feature. So Teresa had written this script prior to me coming on board.

Chris and I worked together on another documentary project and he thought I might be a good fit to direct, so I read the script and I loved it. I then met Teresa and I think we shared the same visions for what the film could ultimately be. We did a couple of polished passes together and then we were shooting later that year. It all came together organically based on prior relationships and all of us believing in the story.

What did you connect to the most about the script? I loved that it was a Western and that it was focusing on a female character, which was not something that I felt like we’d seen much before. I also loved that Teresa was inspired by these actual accounts of women who were homesteading at that time, since I was fascinated with the American West as a teenager and had actually picked up some of the books that she used as original research.

I thought it was fun how Teresa was starting with something rooted in reality and taking it to a horror and supernatural place. But the thing that really I think hooked me after I read it was that I thought the protagonist Lizzy was so well developed, and I thought all the character arcs were really strong. I felt that the horror was coming from the dramatic strengths of the characters’ relationships and their own personal struggles. It felt like really strong ground.

‘The Wind’ director Emma Tammi.

You had more of a background in documentary filmmaking before this—what compelled you to make a start in fictional narratives? Do you feel being an ‘outsider’ to the genre aided your vision of the film? That’s an interesting question. I had been working in documentary films for many years and I feel that was great preparation for making a narrative film despite the differences. Both my parents were actors so I had grown up around theater and fiction filmmakers my whole life. So I think that it felt like something I had always wanted to eventually get to.

I’m so fascinated with our world that I think documentary is such an interesting lens to explore things that are happening. But to then be able to step into a fictional realm I think you can explore the human experience to an even greater extreme. Once we started shooting, the process of working with the actors was even more enriching and incredible than I ever could have anticipated.

What were your film influences for The Wind—especially the specific horrors and Westerns that inspired the look and the feel? I think that one of the things that [director of photography] Lyn Moncrief and I really wanted to do was pay homage to some of the frames from Westerns that have become such big cultural references in our lives. But we wanted to find ways that we could have a fresh take with that [and] subvert it to give a new perspective to the landscape, since we were telling this from a female unreliable narrator and I think that both of those things in Westerns are pretty hard to come by. So, in that sense, I liked how we basically turned the camera 90 degrees and held on the women as the men rode off to town. I was really inspired by The Searchers (1956), for example.

In terms of the horror I feel that there is a comparison to The Shining (1980) in the sense of how it’s a slow burn where the environment is coming in on our lead character. Pacing-wise, in building up the tension, I was really inspired by that. I thought Carrie (1976) was also a really interesting reference in terms of the horror. The first horror scene is simply Sissy Spacek getting her period in a girls locker room and it’s completely terrifying.

I thought so many of the things that women experience in this time were horrific and yet they were just coming out of the mundane day-to-day life events of trying to live and sustain in such an inhospitable land at that time. I love that The Wind was taking the horror cues from the everyday things that we all experience.

Caitlin Gerard’s performance is truly terrific. She anchors the film brilliantly as it jumps from its time periods. What drew you to her in the casting process and did she bring anything new to what had already been set in the script? During auditions I kept asking for more people because I really didn’t feel like we found our Lizzy yet. Caitlin was one of the last ones and was so balls-to-walls, showing such range in three different scenes. We just wouldn’t be able to fully enter this world without hanging our hat on a lead actress who didn’t have that level of grit. So that was incredible.

One of the most important things that she brought to the table was the fact that she had a German background, which we didn’t consider before in terms of Lizzy. I had initially been talking to Teresa about Lizzy’s background, thinking that it would make sense for her to be an immigrant, which was very common of that period. To implement that in the script would really add to the isolation that she might be feeling on the land, in this country, and also between her and Isaac [her husband, played by Ashley Zukerman].

We wrote that into the script days before shooting and then were continuing to work on it throughout the shoot. I thought that was such a nice brush stroke and dimension that Caitlin was able to add because she speaks German and it was fabulous.

What motivated the nonlinear structure of the film? Did you have to adjust anything in the edit to make a particular section work better from how it was laid out in the script? Teresa had already tapped into establishing the nonlinear structure of the film beforehand in a way that would reflect the mental fractured-ness of Lizzy’s headspace. I think it really helps us feel the unreliable narrator so strongly. But we did have to juggle some of the order in post so the edit is different from the order of the script, but I think we were able to find the essence of the script at the end of the day. Those were decisions based on logistics like the performances and the coverage, or the sound and special effects. You just need to recalibrate to keep the pacing in the edit.

Were there any notable challenges on set, such as dealing with the period setting or shooting in such a remote location? We really lucked out in the sense that we got a really strong and dedicated team. I think that everyone was so committed and so talented that we were pretty flexible when challenges would come up. The remoteness really added to the production because we were all able to immerse ourselves in that time period and in that world and not be as connected to the outside and technology.

I’m sure our producers would have a different story to tell because not being able to access your email onset is a nightmare. Basically none of our cellphones worked in these locations. Despite the problems, there were great benefits in shooting in the middle of nowhere.

Through the film, you use the realities of settler life for horror and tension, such as the wild animals, the lack of medical care and, obviously, the weather. How did you negotiate the balance between the realities and the supernatural, especially since you often leave questions unanswered with the latter? We really wanted to start in a way that let you experience the environment as it was, and then start to get in a place where you experience the environment through Lizzy’s point of view, letting it really rev up into something that was ultimately quite terrorizing. I think we were trying to push the natural elements into a more hyper-realized place so it was close to a supernatural place. It’s like playing a piece of music where it flows from the peaks and the valleys.

Can you describe the decision-making process around how you kept the ‘monster’ hidden as much as possible? It’s very effective, but also lends itself to questions on the specifics. How the haunting element would be both seen and heard was something we were talking about even in the script rewriting stages, and I think we wanted to really lean into all of this being an extension of the torment that Lizzy was feeling internally. So questioning whether or not there was actually a “boogeyman” out there was more interesting and more true to the character than actually seeing the “boogeyman”.

But the other element of it was that since this was set in the late 1800s I think we really wanted to show and hear hints of it that were coming from the natural world, so “the wind” and how that transformed was really the scary element of the sound design. In terms of the visuals, we were leaning into shadows and elements of fire and dust and things that were of that environment. I wanted to do something that felt practical even when it wasn’t.

I’d like to ask you how you feel the film operates as a period piece to reflect current times. I felt that the way Lizzy is constantly wielding her shotgun is an empowering and feminist subversion of the masculine individualist gunslinger from classic Westerns. Were you consciously revising frontier myth in that cinematic sense? I think we were consciously doing that but I don’t think it was the overt intention of the script, which is what I really liked about it. I felt that all of those things were coming out so naturally and they weren’t forced. What’s so interesting with Lizzy is that we spend so much time with her while she’s by herself, but she’s constantly trying to put on a brave face for her husband, or for her neighbors, and for the outside world, which I think we can all relate to.

And then to be able to see her for who she really is when she’s by herself is such a powerful thing since it turns out that she’s a real badass. She’s wielding the gun, she’s doing all that stuff that she needs to do out of necessity, but it’s also without any pretense and without having to be a certain thing to any certain person because she’s ultimately there being herself and trying to survive.

I feel it resonates in the #MeToo era in the way she’s threatened by powerful forces and then the man in her life doesn’t believe her. Yeah, I think it does and I love that about it. If we’d made it five years ago it still would have resonated. It’s also a very human experience that she’s going through and our current times are shedding light on it in different ways and that’s so cool. I think the horror genre is able to put a mirror up to ourselves in such a powerful way.

‘The Wind’ opens in US cinemas on limited release 5 April 2019.

#emma tammi #the wind #Female directors #directed by women #metoo #interview #letterboxd #director

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loretranscripts · 6 years ago

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Lore Episode 20: Homestead (Transcript) - 2nd November 2015

tw: racism, slavery, child death, suicide, disease, ghosts Disclaimer: This transcript is entirely non-profit and fan-made. All credit for this content goes to Aaron Mahnke, creator of Lore podcast. It is by a fan, for fans, and meant to make the content of the podcast more accessible to all. Also, there may be mistakes, despite rigorous re-reading on my part. Feel free to point them out, but please be nice!

[Reminder of upcoming live shows at the time]

“Home sweet home”: for most of us, those words are about as true as it gets. The place we call home can easily become the centre of our universe and is often the source of our feelings of security and peace. Most people who tell you stories about their childhood home do so with wide eyes and a wistful smile. Home is, as they say, where the heart is. Our home is the place where we experience life, we fill each room with our laughter, we chase our passions, we make plans for the future. You might remember holidays in the living room, or breakfast conversations, or exploring the attic on a winter day. These homes, nothing more than buildings that we dwell in, somehow become a part of us, but life isn’t always roses and laughter. Sometimes the things we experience are… difficult, or painful, or both. Sometimes people do things that leave a lasting mark, like an echo that carries on through the years, and upon occasion these dark moments are even experienced within our home. From Macbeth to American Horror Story, from the typewriters of Shirley Jackson and Stephen King, it has been made abundantly clear just how much power the home can have over our lives. Maybe it’s the tragedy or the memories, maybe it’s the dark acts committed in the shadows or the secrets buried beneath the foundations, both metaphorical and literal. Whatever the reason, it doesn’t take a popular novelist or a historian to point out the simple truth: there’s no place like home, and considering what’s been known to happen there, that might be a good thing. I’m Aaron Mahnke, and this is Lore.

When Christopher and Elizabeth Crowley built their home in the new South Wales town of Junee in south-eastern Australia, they envisioned a normal, happy future for themselves. Christopher Crowley had caught wind of the impending construction of the Great Southern Railway Line through Junee, and so he built the Railway Hotel across from the station, and it paid off. In 1884, they finished construction on a new home they called “Monte Cristo”. It wasn’t a mansion by any stretch of the imagination, but it did have nine rooms, a stable for his prized race horse, a dairy barn and a separate ballroom, although that eventually became the servants’ quarters. But life wasn’t idyllic for the Crowley family. While carrying one of the little Crowley girls, their nanny dropped her down the stairs, where she died from the injuries. She claimed that an unseen force had reached out and knocked the child from her arms. Whatever the cause, the Crowleys had to go through the ordeal of burying a child, something no parent should have to endure. In 1910, Mr. Crowley’s starched shirt collars began to rub the skin on his neck. The abscess that formed became gangrenous, and by December of that year he died as a result of a heart attack, brought on (they say) by the wound. After her husband’s death, Elizabeth, already known to be a harsh, disciplined woman, went into a state of mourning that lasted the rest of her life. She converted one of the upstairs rooms into a chapel and spent much of her time there. According to local lore, she only left the house twice before her death in 1933.

Other tragedies found their way into Monte Cristo. A pregnant maid committed suicide by jumping from the top storey of the house; she bled to death on the front steps. Maurice, the stable boy,/ burnt to death in a fire, and in 1961, the caretaker of the house was shot and killed by a local boy, who had been inspired by the recent Hitchcock film, Psycho. Today, many young children feel anxious near the stairs. A dark stain has been seen on the front steps of the house, but it seems to fade in and out of view over time. The shape of a young woman in a white gown has been witnessed passing in front of the windows of the front balcony, and some believe it’s the spirit of the pregnant maid, repeating her final moments over and over. Others claim to have seen a young boy wandering around near the site of the coach house. A few visitors to the house have witnessed the figure of an older man in the upstairs hallway, and most have assumed it to be Mr. Crowley, but it’s his wife, Elizabeth, who is most commonly seen, almost as if she hasn’t fully let go of her home yet. She has been reported to appear in the dining room, where she’s ordered people to leave the room. Others have seen her ghostly figure in the chapel upstairs, dressed in black as if mourning for a lost loved one.

Across the world, in the state of Kentucky, another home became the scene of tragedy and pain. Their names have slipped from history, but in Allen county, one of the families there in the early 1860s owned a number of slaves. According to local stories, most of the slaves lived in their own quarters on the property, but the husband kept chains in the basement of the family home, for times when he wanted to… discipline one or two of them. When the civil war broke out, word began to spread among the slaves of the south that it would be better to escape and run north, so plans were made in their small dormitory over many weeks. Finally, the night came, and the entire group of slaves left the homestead and headed north. All of them, that is, except for the two still chained up in the basement of the owners’ home. Whether it was the noise of their escape or part of his usual evening rounds, the man soon discovered that his slaves were gone. The stories describe how he spent hours that night on horseback with his gun, riding north and looking for his runaway slaves, but they were never found. Instead, the man returned home empty-handed and full of rage. Fuelled by his anger, he descended into the basement, where he shot and killed both captive men. Later, after he had cooled off, he was said to have buried the bodies there in the dirt floor of the cellar, and then, months later, the man was called into service with the confederate army, where he died in battle. The widow never opened the cellar door again – in fact, even though it was in the middle of the house, she had it boarded up. There’s a lot of symbolism in that single action, if you’re looking for that sort of thing. I think she just wanted to make sure no one ever found the bodies her husband had buried beneath the dirt floor down there. She passed away a few years later due to illness, and the house was sold to distant relatives. When the new family began to move in, they opened the cellar and discovered that it reeked with a powerful odour. They vented the space and cleaned it as best they could, but the smell never went away. It wasn’t long before their children began to tell them about hearing sounds at night, that seemed to come from the cellar. They dismissed it as childhood fantasies, but the stories continued. One night, many months later, the husband and wife were both pulled from sleep by strange sounds. She stayed in bed while he went down to investigate. From their room, she claimed she heard a loud cry, and then a crash. She raced out of bed and ran to the cellar door. When she got there, she found her husband. He was lying dead on the dirt floor at the bottom of the cellar stairs, his neck broken and twisted. There are many stories like these, but they all teach the same, bitter lesson. Sometimes, our homes attract tragedy, and sometimes, we create it ourselves.

When Daniel Benton built his small, red, Cape-style home in Tolland, Connecticut, I doubt he imagined it would still be standing today. It’s not enormous like some of the plantation homes one might find in the south, but for a house built in 1720, it was comfortable, and in complete contrast to our modern, mobile life of the 21st century, it stayed in the Benton family until 1932. That’s over 210 years, for those of you who are counting, and that’s a very long time. The family grew, and by the 1770s, Daniel Benton had three grown grandsons who lived in the house with him. One of them, Elisha, had taken an interest in a young woman in town named Jemima Barrows. She was the daughter of a cabinet maker, and in a social station below that of the Bentons, and so Elisha’s family looked down on the romance. They did everything they could to discourage them, but Elisha and Jemima were stubborn. In 1775, an alarm was raised in Lexington, Massachusetts that was heard across the countryside, thanks to riders like Paul Revere. Colonists from all across New England came to join the fight, and among them were the three Benton grandchildren. While Daniel Benton was sad to see his grandchildren go off to war, there was some relief knowing that the separation just might be the thing that Elisha needed to take his mind off the young woman. It is thought by historians that Daniel hoped the war might bring an end to their relationship forever. He was only partly right. A year later, in 1776, all three of the Benton brothers were captured by British forces and taken to Long Island, where they were imprisoned on ships in the sound. These prison ships were notorious for their unsanitary conditions and the diseases that ran wild through the inmates. It was even thought that the British soldiers working the ships actually handed out food and bedding that was contaminated with smallpox. Soon, Daniel Benton received word that the two oldest of his grandsons had died while aboard the prison ships, but no word came of the whereabouts of Elisha. He sent for news, and waited impatiently, but before he could learn the truth, Daniel Benton passed away.

It was weeks later when the answer finally came: Elisha was free, and being bought home, but he was sick with smallpox. This was bittersweet news for the Benton family. On one hand, Elisha was coming home - that was good for everyone - but on the other, smallpox was deadly. Nearly half of everyone who contracted the disease eventually died, and those were not the kind of odds that gave people hope. Soldiers brought Elisha into the house and he was guided straight to a room near the kitchen known as “the dying and borning room”, where those giving birth or sick with illness could be kept away from the rest of the house and cared for. It was a colonial American version of quarantine and intensive care, but the word spread of Elisha’s return. Not every son and grandson returned from war, something even homes today still deal with, and one of those who caught wind of the young Benton’s arrival was Jemima Barrows. She had waited and stayed true to her beloved, and there was nothing she had hoped for more. Elisha had come home. I imagine she ran rather quickly to the doorstep of the Benton home. I would imagine that she knocked, as well, being from a lower social status, after all, but it must have been hard for her not to kick the door in and race to find her beloved. Jemima knew her place, though, and she waited for someone to come to the door. She was told that Elisha was sick, and that she needed to go back home, but Jemima turned out to be a very stubborn young woman. Even when they told her that he was dying and sick with a highly contagious and deadly disease, she wouldn’t relent, and in the end, she won. Jemima was allowed into the house, where she set herself up as his sole care-taker and nurse. After a time, Jemima’s parents became worried. Their daughter hadn’t come home all day, and so they made their way to the Benton home and asked if they had seen her. When they discovered that she was, in fact, in the room caring for a smallpox patient, it is said that they wept. Jemima’s mother said they would go back home and get clothing for their daughter, and then they quickly left the Benton house. They never came back.

Elisha Benton died on January 21st, 1776, after weeks of battling the smallpox that ravaged his body. Jemima stayed by his side the entire time, caring for him through it all, but her sacrifice did not come without a price. In the final days of Elisha’s life, she too began to show signs of the illness. Within weeks, she was also dead. The couple was buried on the Benton family property alongside the stone walls that line the road to the house, but due to burial customs at the time, they were not allowed to share the same plot. Instead, they were separated by about 40ft, one grave on either side of the road. It sounds like the end of a tragic story, and in some ways, it is. Elisha and Jemima were never able to marry, and their young lives were cut short. But in other ways, they live on. According to some, it’s their separation outside that has led to the reports of the restless spirits within the home. The Benton home was sold in 1932, and then again in 1969 to the Tolland Historical Society. It was converted into a museum shortly after, but the influx of visitors only served to draw out more reports of mysterious occurrences. One member of the staff claimed that her dog would not enter the dining room. When she picked the animal up and moved it to the sitting room, it refused to go anywhere else after that. Others have felt an overwhelming sense of foreboding and unwelcome. One woman, after cheerfully asking to visit the second floor, climbed the narrow staircase only to return moments later, telling the staff: “I never want to go up there again”. Noises have been heard throughout the house that are difficult to explain: knocking, footsteps, and what sounds like the snapping of branches have all been reported by visitors. Some have even heard what sounds like distant voices, and sometimes the movement of furniture. Others have heard what they describe as a weeping woman - someone who is mourning a deep loss. Those familiar with the homestead’s past have assumed the woman is Jemima, crying for her lost love. A few have even seen the figure of a young woman in a white dress in various places in the house, searching for something no one else can see.

At times, the home has been used by overnight guests. One couple actually lived there for a few weeks while their home was being renovated, and on one occasion entertained a guest of their own. They claimed that on the night of their friend’s visit, the conversation in front of the fireplace was interrupted by the sound of footsteps, thumping down the hallway from the eastern door of the home. The sounds moved closer and closer to the living room, and then just stopped. According to the woman, their guest was packed and gone within 15 minutes. Another couple who stayed overnight in the Benton homestead reported a very odd experience that happened during their stay. Their hosts had retired to sleep upstairs and they themselves had settled down in the living room, which was serving double duty as a guest room. The wife claims that she was awoken in the middle of the night. It was nearly completely dark in the room, but she felt as if someone, or something, were in the room with her. And then, as if materialising out of the darkness, a pair of legs appeared near the head of the bed. A man, she assumed, was standing there, close to her. Her first assumption was that her host had come down to play a joke on her, maybe that was the kind of guy he was, but the middle of the night is probably the worst time to play the joker, no matter who you are. Either way, she decided to call his bluff, and waited to see what he would do. Nothing could have prepared her for what happened next, though. A hand came out of the darkness and quickly covered her mouth. She flinched but held her ground. If he was going to try and frighten her, she said, he was in for a surprise. She pretended not to care, but after a few moments it became hard to breathe, and in the end, panic took over. Pushing the hand away, she sat up and whispered harshly at the figure: “What are you up to?” Almost instantly, everything vanished; the legs, the hand, all of it, just… gone. The following morning, she brought up her experience at breakfast and asked the hosting couple what the reason was for their prank. The husband and wife looked at each other with confused expressions on their faces. They each made the same claim: no one had come downstairs during the night.

The places we live can take on a certain life of their own. We fill them with our personality, our celebrations, and sometimes even our tragedy, and although we can move on, whether by packing up and moving out, or literally by leaving this life behind, we often leave pieces of ourselves behind. Like a cardboard box forgotten in the back corner of the attic, some of our echoes stay behind where others can discover them. Some call them ghosts, others think of them as “bad vibrations” – I don’t think any of us would be wrong no matter what language we use. In the end, something stays behind, and it’s not always easy to see. Sometimes, though, it is. A few years ago, an architectural photographer visited the Benton homestead with his sister in order to get some pictures for a project they were collaborating on. They wondered the property outside, looking for the best view of the house. It’s gorgeous, really, if you have a thing for antique, First Period homes, and the deep red paint on the wood clapboard is very classy and elegant. The project involved using polaroid cameras, the kind that immediately kicks out a small, white-framed photograph that slowly fades into clarity. When they found the perfect place to shoot the house, very near to the graves of Elisha and Jemima incidentally, the photographer took a picture. Something was wrong with the photo, so he took another. That one, too, seemed wrong. He showed his sister, and they tried a third, then a fourth, and then a fifth and a sixth. Finally, they switched to a backup camera, one that had just come back from a camera shop where it had been repaired, but the photographs that came out of the new camera were the same. It wasn’t the camera, they realised, it was the house. All of the defective photos had the same flaw, as clear and easy to spot as the house itself. There, in each image, the second storey window was glowing, as if something bright and hazy were just behind the glass.

[Closing statements]

#lore podcast #podcasts #aaron mahnke #monte cristo #elisha benton #the bentons #jemima barrows #australia #kentucky #connecticut #hauntings #transcripts #20

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randomgirltalking · 6 years ago

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills S09E02 Review

I love when Lisa V and Kyle get together. These two ladies always have a blast, just the two of them, and the opening of episode two’s scenes are no exception. Kyle pops over to Vila Rosa and the two ladies make their way to some sort of “make me look like I’m not 50, please” clinic. I suspect that in Beverly Hills, these clinics are similar to when Starbucks came around - one keeps popping up in every corner.

After being offered laughing gas by a man who looks 30 but is probably 60, Lisa V giggles her ass off, wriggling around in the surgeon’s chair whilst Dr Ken doll periodically jabs her neck with a syringe full of filler. What I like about Kyle and Lisa V is, while I know they’re both a fan of Botox, they don’t go overboard by injecting themselves with fillers that puff their faces up to look like they had a hard night on the town. I never understood why older women like this look and I’m thankful that Courtney Cox had all of her fillers dissolved.

Lisa R, Dorit and Erika prove that they were the only three people available for filming that day as they were thrust together for a restaurant scene. Erika takes MVP in this episode for being a woman after my own heart and ordering a beer - “anything in a bottle,” she tells the waitress while Lisa R and Dorit applaud her brave choice and reminisce of the times when they were poor and had no choice but to do keg stands.

I was wondering how they were going to segue into talking about a “girls trip.” Dorit laments the stressful time she’s had lately with the robbery (even though she escaped to do an Eat, Pray, Love scenario in Utah) and the dog saga. “Why don’t we have a girls trip?” She unsurprisingly suggests. I was taken aback that a trip was mentioned when were only two episodes in, but we quickly learn that this is not the “main” girls trip, just the entreè. After throwing around Lake Tahoe (where Erika thinks she may have a house) and other various locations around the US (where Erika may or may not have a house), Dorit suddenly remembers that her sister had just gotten back from a new resort in the Bahamas. Translation: This new resort wanted to put their business out there so approached Bravo and offered an all expense paid trip if they mention the resort name a few hundred times.

So it’s settled, then. Bahamas it is and all the girls are contractedly invited by Dorit. Yes, even Teddy, PK.

Teddy and Lisa R take a hike up one of the many mountain trails in LA. Teddy confides that she, like many other young girls, had originally moved to LA to become an actress. After being disheartened by hearing from her agent that the feedback from casting directors was that she needed to lose weight, Teddy spiraled into an unhealthy eating habit and gained even more weight. This event kick started her healthy eating and exercise regime and out of it grew her accountability business. I have to say, I didn’t quite understand what she did for a living - kind of like a toss up between a personal trainer and a life coach but I am completely for it now. Sometimes you just need a stranger to kick your ass and encourage you. I didn’t much care for Teddy last season but she’s truly come into her own on season 9. This is why I think you should give the new girl a second season as you never really get their full personality until the next season in and they’re more comfortable telling the other ladies where to shove it. Of course there are exceptions to this rule *cough* Kim Fields *cough*. *cough* Peggy Sulhain *cough*.

On the opposite side of the eating disorder scale, Lisa R chats honestly with her daughter (I wanna say Amelia?) about her eating disorder. Amelia’s not Lisa R’s. I don’t really follow much of these ladies outside of the show but apparently Amelia developed anorexia which she has come out of but is still working on. Good luck, Amelia, on your journey and well done for publicly telling your story as many girls and boys go through this illness. I won’t mention the flashback of Katherine joking that Lisa R doesn’t like to eat. Okay I’ll mention it, because we were all concerned that Lisa R had food issues on previous seasons where she turned down or barely nibbled on food that was offered to her. While she denies having an eating disorder, I’m glad to see her enjoying food this season. Maybe in previous seasons she had eaten before filming?

We also did not have to wait long until we hear from actual Charlie Sheen himself, even if it is via phone call. Denise lives in Malibu on a beautiful beach house. This is my favourite house out of the RHOBH castmates as, while smaller than the others mansions, it has the beach right at their doorstep and I’m a whore for the beach. Anyway, we are introduced properly to Denise’s newish beau, Aaron. He does some sort of body alignment thing - can’t be bothered learning what he does just yet. They seem good together, I suppose. Denise has three girls, two with Charlie and one she adopted. I did actually hear the rumour Denise jokes about that her adopted daughter, Eloise, is Charlie’s child with a stripper. *Cackle* I don’t believe it, of course, but it’s one of those rumours that, if turned out to be true, you would shrug and say “meh, I kinda figured.”

Denise reminds her daughter, Lola, that she can’t date until she’s 16 which she brands unfair (I can’t wait until my daughter is a teen). Denise then keeps her promise to the producers that she can get Charlie on the show by prompting her daughter to call him to ask about the upcoming homecoming dance and whether she can go with a boy. Charlie sounded good on the phone - clean, coherent and just like a Dad kept his place as the “fun parent” and promptly passed the rule making back to Denise. Insert anti climatic sound here.

Moving on, Kyle visits Mauricio at work where she has a waahh moment thinking about her third daughter moving out and off to college. Mauricio, typical man that he is, tries to comfort her by doing good news, bad news and reminding her that she’s done this twice already with their two older girls. Thanks, Mauricio.

Continuing with the food theme, Lisa R invites the ladies over where she has a chef round to guide them on stuffing chocolate heart molds with candy. I’m waiting for one of them to bring Gordon Ramsey round while he berates them as they try to debone a chicken.

Present are Erika, Denise, Dorit and Camille who I guess is on now as a friend of the cast mates but kind of a series regular without the corny tag line.

While Erika once again claims my heart by devouring cake and matter of factly stating that these ladies should just “eat the fucking cake, who cares,” the ladies quickly discuss their sex life. Denise confides that she hooked up with Aaron fairly quickly after visiting his clinic and fucking him in his office. For some reason Erika states that this image is up there with her favourite porn. Actually, come to think of it, it does sound like a cheesy porn scene. Woman with insanely large breasts visits doctor with insanely large... muscles...

Teddy tells the group that she met her husband coming out of a nightclub and she sealed the deal with him that night. High five, girlfriend! As someone who shagged their fiancé on their first “date” sometimes when you know, you know. Or in my case, are just a horny bitch. Teddy states that she and her husband have sex about twice a week. This earns shocked gasps from some of the ladies as Denise tells us in her confessional that she and Aaron have sex everyday. Ahh the throes of early love. How exhausting. Despite the outrage, I note that it’s radio silence from Erika and Dorit.

The biggest gossip we hear, and proving my comment on my blog from episode 1 that everyone is six degrees separated from each other in Hollywood, Denise tells us that Aaron is still married yet has been separated for two years. Lisa R adds that Aaron’s ex is Nicolette Sheridan who Lisa R’s husband, Harry Hamlin, used to be married to. She spills that they broke up when Nicolette attended a Michael Bolton concert while Harry Hamlin was away in Canada. She then took up with Michael Bolton immediately after the concert, dumping poor Harry Hamlin. The ladies raise their champagne flutes, toasting the oblivious Miss Sheridan for giving Lisa R Harry Hamlin and their two kids. I sipped my own beer in a bottle. Not as a toast but in commiseration to Harry Hamlin for putting up with Lisa R for so long.

Finally the ladies are ready to head off to the Bahamas. No cattle class for these ladies - not even first class. Bravo (or the new Bahamas resort) splashed out for a private jet to escort the ladies. Lisa V continues her British dark humour by boarding the plane and telling Dorit that she had “gotten something right for once.” I know some people may consider her mean but I think she’s a riot. And I can see that most of the time she’s just taking the piss (mostly). It was kind of mean (but mostly funny) when Dorit asked Lisa V to room with her in her suite and Lisa V reacted with horror. I’m still trying to decide whether Lisa V was joking or not when she mentioned Dorit’s snoring and gas issues as the reason for not wanting to board with her. She even asked for swapsies. Okay, since Dorit (and the Bahamas tourism board) planned this trip, it was kind of mean. But still fucking hilarious.

This episode, to be honest, seemed like a filler episode (even without Lisa V’s neck lift). Not much happened but I guess it helped build up the upcoming episodes. Can’t wait to see what kind of mischief these ladies get up to on tour!

#rhobh #the real housewives of beverly hills #vanderpump #review #erika jayne #season 9

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betsynagler · 6 years ago

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Tired of Being Treated Differently

In 1996, my best friend from high school invited me to go on a two-week cross-country trip with her and three of her friends — which turned out to be four for the first six days, when one of them decided to bring an extra person, until we dropped him off in California. I’d never driven across the country, and was excited to give it a try, so I said yes. It was an incredibly fun and also eye-opening experience, not only because it was my first visit to sites like the Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, and the Corn Palace, but because four of the people in the van — and once we dropped off our California-bound late-addition, everyone except for me — were people of color. How did this matter? Well, for starters, when we’d land in places like a fishing town on the Oregon Coast, and everyone would stare. As a fairly generic-looking white woman of 27, I was used to passing without a second glance in most of the places I’d been to that point (basically the States, Europe and Canada), certainly anywhere I’d been in the U.S. It very quickly became obvious to me that this wasn’t the case if you were were Black or Asian American, like the friends I was traveling with. Turned out there were parts of the country — and a lot more parts than I’d suspected — where you were going to get noticed, and not in a friendly way. But there was also stuff I learned on that trip that wasn’t as obvious. Like what it meant when we went out to lunch in a nice restaurant in Santa Fe and got terrible service. My impulse was to just chalk that up to the fact that we were all in our 20s and didn’t look like we had money — particularly after spending more than a week’s worth of nights either camping, sleeping on friends’ floors, or in Motel 6s (the night we splurged on the $40/night Excalibur in Vegas, it felt like we were staying at the Plaza). Because that was what I’d dealt with before. My friends, however, felt pretty strongly that the way we were being ignored and slighted had something to do with race, because they’d dealt with that before. And so, while it’s not like this had never occurred to me until then, that trip helped drive home in a tangible way that 1) my experience of going through the world was not the same as everyone else’s, and 2) that that body of experience, that history that each of us had, was going to lead us to view the same situations very differently.

These concepts weren’t hard for me to get, not just because I had friends of color, but because of what I’d been experiencing in my own life and career, starting with graduate school. Since moving to New York to become a filmmaker six years earlier, I’d often had this feeling that I was being treated differently, but in ways so hard to prove, even to myself, that I'd mostly just accepted it was all in my head. When guys I’d shot films for as a first year at NYU, who’d been really happy with my work, instead chose the same other guy to shoot for them in second year, I chalked it up to my not being “technical enough,” or not having the confident decisiveness to take charge of the set the way the DP was supposed to — until I realized that no women were shooting films for men at all, unless they were their girlfriends. When I arrived on professional sets, it started sinking in more and more that men really were always telling me to smile, or offering to “help” me with my job when their jobs were unrelated to mine and I hadn’t asked for their help, or treating me as an object of flirtation, even if they were my superiors. I eventually learned to handle all of that by being more tolerant, competent, and professional than they were, but what I had the hardest time with was what I cared about the most: sending out scripts, or soliciting constructive feedback from peers in writing workshops, and receiving constant rejection or rude/patronizing remarks. Okay sure, cruelty is considered par for the course in a business where success is so elusive and so coveted that people are just expected to accept all kinds of abuse — verbal, sexual, physical — in order to get somewhere. But that only makes it more infuriating when there are additional comments or obstacles that other people don’t seem to be dealing with. Like when I wrote a film about a friendship between two teenaged girls, and one of the men in my writing group couldn’t understand the point of the script unless they had a lesbian relationship. Or when I submitted a script to a production company and the coverage I received said that the reader had no interest in the story, which featured two female main characters and one love interest who was a man of color, until the second love interest, a white guy, showed up. Yeah, that's when things got good, he said. I was starting to see that I was stuck in a system where the white male arbiters of good and bad had all the power not just to decide whether my work was one or the other, but to define what the terms “good” and “bad” even meant. So it was easy for them to claim — and fully believe — that the failure of women to scale their ranks wasn’t due to our gender, it was due to their inability to master “the craft.” All they had to say was, “I couldn't get into the story,” or, “I didn't care about the characters,” and those were considered legitimate critiques based on merit, when of course there was way, way, way…basically everything more to it than that.

This is what makes unequal treatment such a hard thing to pinpoint: it has everything to do with who’s distinguishing and quantifying “good” and “bad” in an entrenched system. So it's only when you look at the big picture over time, quantified in data, and see the work of women and people of color highly underrepresented in nearly every area of the arts — music, painting, sculpture, literature, theater, cinema, etc — that you can see discrimination is happening because the system itself is fucked.

What I was going through wasn’t the same as what my friends from that trip were going through, not at all. Each of us is a different person. But we all knew that we were being treated differently, based on countless experiences we’d had that added up. And we knew, because we’d experienced that too, that the kind of discrimination we were dealing with was so insidious and damaging precisely because people who hadn’t faced it were going to scoff and chalk it up to something entirely innocuous, and say it didn’t even exist.

I was reminded of all this last weekend, when I watched the women’s final of the 2018 U.S. Open. I don’t think most people would say that Serena Williams behaved perfectly when she argued with umpire Carlos Ramos and then later broke her racket when she threw it down in anger. But the question is not whether she did something wrong, it’s whether she was treated differently. Of course you can say that Ramos was just following the rules, that she shouldn’t be getting special treatment because she’s the great Serena Williams, and that plenty of men have been penalized like she was — with articles like this jumping on opportunities to bring all of that up and say “What about…?” But if you dig a little deeper, you find way more examples of white men behaving worse in less important matches, even toward that same umpire, and not having him penalize them so severely as to ruin a tournament final for everyone involved. In other words, yes, there are rules, but if they aren’t applied in the same way across the board, we are back at “He said, she said,” and it's always the “He said” that comes first. Always.

The Whatabouters always say, “Why does everything have to be about race/sex?” Well, yeah, it’d be great not to have to talk about discrimination, but you can’t when it won’t leave you alone – even when you’re arguably the best athlete in the world. If you’re a woman and/or a person of color, your experience has told you that it nearly always is about that. It just is. Then the Whatabouters say, “Then you’re asking for special treatment when you break the rules.” Well, that’s because the rules, by which I mean all of the laws of this country dating back to the Constitution, were, from the very beginning, designed to treat women and people of color differently – creating a world in which the norm is special treatment for white men. Again, it just is.

And how often have our laws and rules that were not designed to be unfair been applied evenly and fairly? Let’s face it, the U.S. Open’s got nothing on the American justice system. Why do we refuse to recognize that when fallible people who do “bad” have to be punished, and when other fallible humans are doing the judging about how “bad” they are, there's going to be all sorts of bias and unequal treatment? If the recent news isn’t convincing to you, we’ve now got data to prove that Black people are much more likely to be on the receiving end of police violence; have been far more likely to receive the death penalty in capital cases; that crack users in the 80s, who were more often Black, received far stiffer sentences than white users of powdered cocaine; that Black people were far more likely be searched and arrested for possession of marijuana than white people (two of the reasons, in case you were wondering, why so many more people of color have been incarcerated en mass during the War on Drugs); and that Black schoolchildren are likely to be more severely punished, suspended, or even have the cops called on them than white children for the same transgressive behavior.

And systems by which people are considered “good,” like at their jobs, and promoted? Again, completely dependent on the fallible judgments of those in power, so that only in the aggregate can we see how Black employees receive extra scrutiny from their bosses, Asian Americans are the least likely racial group to be promoted to management positions, women are punished and considered “bad” at their jobs for traits that are considered “good” in men, like ambition, speaking up, or doing too well in school; and how, of course, women of color are the least likely to be supported or promoted for equally good work.

I know what the Whatabouters are saying now: “Yes, people in the past were wrong, but now, moving forward, we’re the ones trying to treat everyone the same.” Um, really? We’re supposed to believe that? We’ve had this whole lifetime of experience that tells us otherwise, and you’re dismissing that, again? You’re claiming that, at long last, in this tennis match, or court of law, or screenwriting competition, or job review, or state senate, when it comes down to questions of “rules” and “fairness” and “objectivity,” we should continue to just trust the white guys? Yeah, right.

If you’ve been wondering why so many women and people of color are running for office this election season, well, here you go: we’re just sick of being treated differently. For a long time, we’ve trusted the white guys who say they’re going to fix things and finally respect our rights the same way they respect their own. Now we’re finally deciding that the only way things are going to change is for us to get in there and make the rules, and apply them ourselves.

Can you blame us?

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lightsandlostbells · 7 years ago

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Skam Austin episode 1 reaction

I wasn’t planning on writing long-winded reactions to Skam Austin, I thought I might just have fun with the clips as they happened. Because there’s such a different context with this remake as opposed to the French/German/Italian ones, that it’s hard to take in! Julie Andem’s direct involvement, the Facebook factor, that it’s American rather than European. I’m processing this one very differently. I’m not even sure how to gather all my thoughts about it.

But then a few things got my attention so here’s episode 1 a week late. I don’t think I say anything that hasn’t already been said, lmao, unless you want to hear about my high school English unit on The Scarlet Letter.

Clip 1 - Frozen is #relatable

Let’s point out all the signs we see during Poonam’s opening monologue:

“Be a winner, be you”

“Work hard, finish strong”

“Always victorious”

“Shoot for the moon”

a board full of college acceptances

IDK guys, I think there might be a theme about the pressure to succeed here.

Poonam’s monologue and the overall themes about pressure and success may seem generic or #relatable depending on your POV. For me, I found it worked, mostly because it’s funny in how mundane and teenage-y it is and the bit about Elsa from Frozen is so weirdly specific, and I knew a million kids like Poonam in high school. But I do get how Julie could have done something more topical considering the world of shit that is going on in the US politically and culturally, including in our schools. (I don’t know exactly how much of the show was filmed before or after the Parkland shooting and I don’t know if/when/how it will be mentioned, but I certainly hope they address it. That’s the kind of issue that Skam is made to cover: things that are directly relevant to the youth of the culture.)

Poonam is talking super loud and were she not serving up our thesis statement, the teacher would tell her to shut up.

I tried to listen to what more of what the teacher actually says, and it’s hard to make out, but of course she concludes with “draw a connection to something happening in present day” … hmmmm….

I was really confused because the test Megan looks at in class appears to be a state-mandated standardized test, not a regular exam you’d take in class. You can clearly see on her paper that it says 68th percentile, which means she scored as well as or better than 68% of students tested. But Marlon seems to be grabbing a similar-looking paper and he says he got a 99, like … is he in the 99th percentile? And Shay’s in the 100th percentile somehow (which cannot be a thing because you can’t go higher than the 99th, lol)? Is there an actual score out of 100 on these tests? Are they talking about a different test?

I’m not from Texas so I don’t know the format of this specific test, but I took a similar standardized test for my state and this is not how I remember it. Also we didn’t go around sharing our scores on those tests the way we would a regular math test or even the SATs or something. And no one studied for those things.

Meg swaps the numbers around (68 to 86) and he says, “That’s not bad” in a somewhat patronizing way so you know she feels great about it.

The music for the Kittens’ slow-motion walk is very apropos lyrically.

I like Shay, she’s charming. There’s a lot of American “bro” talk and shit like that in the dialogue and it gets cringeworthy, but I think she and Tyler seem pretty natural and I buy them as friends.

Clip 2 - Survival kit

As people have pointed out, The Scarlet Letter is incredibly thematically relevant to Meg’s past. In fact it’s so on the nose that I’d almost say it’s overkill, however that book is so widely taught in American classrooms that yeah, I buy it, it works for me. At least they’re keeping it fairly subtle so far - we notice it because we know the S1 story, a new viewer wouldn’t necessarily realize the connection. And I have seen so many versions of the classroom scene where the inspirational teacher openly talks about the themes of the novel/impact of the historical event/educational topic that just so happens to coincide with whatever’s going on in the protagonist’s life, that yes, this is actually relatively subtle.

Pointless personal anecdote #1: In high school I had one of those stereotypically artsy English teachers and every year she had her students do a mock trial based on The Scarlet Letter, where the goal was to determine which of the main characters was the least guilty. It was a huuuuge project and worth a ton of our grade, and the year we did it, there was tons of drama and crying and name-calling outside of the classroom due to everyone taking this trial 200% too seriously. I drew the team representing Dimmesdale (the minister who fathers a child with Hester Prynne) and miraculously everyone else on the team was smart but chill; we were the only team that didn’t blow up into drama, and we won the trial. I had a great time doing the project, but as time went by I started to think about the point of the trial and whether it was a good assignment, and how our biases crept into the result. Because I remember when kids drew the Hester team, they groaned, because they knew they wouldn’t win. One of the male characters was going to win. Chillingworth might win even though he’s an evil piece of shit and some readers think he straight-up poisoned a dude, but he wasn’t Hester. Hester was definitely guilty because she had sex outside of marriage and had a baby. And if we want to tie this back to Skam, it gets me thinking about how Eva/Meg is the one who loses everything and Jonas/Marlon’s life seems to be more or less intact. The girls lose their friends and in Meg’s case, her hobby/passion, while the boys are OK. Then the same thing happens later with Eva where P-Chris is just a fuckboy but Eva is a slut. Because the girls are the guilty ones.

Megan’s homework mentions the “life-changing event happens to Hester when she is in the forest away from her community. What do you think this says about the role of community in the outcome of her life?” hMMMMMM. The next question is also about the story centering around a “strong female character.”

Shay talking to Meg while stretched out on her back sure is quite flirty.

Meg’s parents are arguing and contributing to making her feel like a loser, building up some of that pressure (theeeeeme). She has a survival kit which implies that this is a regular thing and she feels the need to escape a lot.

I do think Julie is getting in some nice shots of the city and making these teens look all picturesque.

Clip 3 - Sad sad eating alone time

I wish Poonam had a Frozen lunchbox.

I'm wondering what Meg’s and Poonam’s relationship is supposed to be. Are they old friends? Are their parents friends? Are they acquaintances who share a class? Does Poonam just want a sounding board to vent about her busy life? I knew people like that in high school.

Poonam is self-centered in a rather teenage way, not just in talking about herself and being insensitive, talking about how quitting extra-curriculars makes you a loser, assuming Megan doesn’t care, etc. but also how she ditches Megan to go sit with her choir friends instead of like … inviting Meg to sit with her and the choir kids.

There's the THEME!!! of community again as Poonam encourages Meg to be more social, because people who engage in community have happier, healthier, more successful lives. The clip starts with both Meg and Abby alone, but ends with Meg alone and Abby not, because Abby is part of a community and Meg is not.

Also Meg has to be super checked out not to notice the giant Talent Night posters everywhere, including right next to her. It’s too bad they probably won’t go into this but I feel like she’s depressed on a level that Eva wasn’t, which is likely due to losing not just her friends but also purpose of being on the dance team.

“Talent night is the one night of the year where the entire school comes together to celebrate the foundation of our social hierarchy - sports.” Lol, no it’s not. I guarantee you it’s not, no matter what your school is, but especially not this school where sports appear to be a big deal. Try Homecoming.

Marlon is the worst. The woooorst. It really feels as if he, Shay, and Tyler are a group that Meg is just not in, in a way that I didn’t feel with Eva. Because while Eva was often excluded and was the third wheel to Jonas and Isak, Isak was also in some situations the third wheel to her and Jonas. Megan feels like she’s completely on the outskirts of this group. She’s friendly with Shay but I wouldn’t say that they’re friends, while Eva and Isak had some history and were decently close on their own. Some of the other remakes emphasize this too - in particular Italian Eva and Isak (Martino) feel like great friends in their own right. Plus if Marlon does opt to hang with Megan over his friends, Shay and Tyler still have each other.

But for fuck’s sake, Marlon, why didn’t you ask your girlfriend to get some damn food with you? Unless you didn’t really go for food...

Clip 4 - Conservative

How many times has Meg had to listen to Marlon’s music? Yet when she asks him to go do something with her, he doesn’t want to do it. Dump him.

In terms of Marlon’s comments about sports culture … OK, on the one hand I would say there are bigger issues in sports culture, particularly in high school - for example, how sports gets more funding than any other high school program, just to name one issue. His thing about sports culture being about winners working hard, losers are lazy, is maybe not the most relevant, it’s kind of trite. However, I can see a so-called “woke” teen saying something like that, much like I can see a teenager rhapsodizing about Elsa from Frozen. And I get it, it fits in thematically.

Megan used to be on a sports team (and dance teams often do all kinds of competitions so I’d consider it a sport) and clearly misses it so maybe he should chill. And don’t ask your girlfriend to go with someone else when you know she doesn’t have any friends.

Dump him.

Clip 5 - Talent Night

Besides the dance memorabilia, in her room Meg has a poster for a costume party around Halloween, which is possibly when she hooked up with Jo.

Marlon is the worst!!! Worse than other Jonases!!! At least they canceled ahead of time, Marlon just bails last second to go do something fun he likes. Rude and inconsiderate! He doesn’t even invite her along to the concert (and gives an excuse in the next episode, but dude, if you’re going to CANCEL YOUR ESTABLISHED PLANS AT THE LAST SECOND you should at least ASK).

Plus she really needs an escape from her house at that moment due to her parents’ fighting. Great job, dude.

The B-roll is nice. Again, good shots of the city.

Discussion was happening on @softnorwegians’ Tumblr about the plausibility of Talent Night in terms of location, setup, importance, etc. and I agree with a lot of the criticisms. I absolutely do not buy an official school-sponsored event taking place at what looks like a bar with no chaperones or adults around. Talent Night would probably be held at the school, in the auditorium or gymnasium. Maybe a community center. Maaaybe at a local coffee shop or restaurant, something like that, but that’s pushing it IMO - there would be so many people there that you need a large venue. This doesn’t seem like a small school. My high school did talent shows and there were always tons of adults present, teachers, parents filming their kids.

Also, Talent Night is typically not to fund sports teams! Talent Night is something put on by student government maybe, or if any school group is going to fundraise from it, it would definitely be the arts programs. Or it would be to raise money for charity. Sports teams already have a bunch of fundraisers, also a lot of them are for the individual teams, like swim team will have one, football will have one, etc. I guess it’s not impossible, but it feels a bit contrived. But there are probably some schools that do Talent Night for the sports teams, IDK. (Also, if it’s for the sports teams ... it seems weird to me that the athletes like Jordan don’t seem involved, either on stage or working at the venue? All fundraising I did for the school clubs/activities I was in, I had to do some actual work for the event - sell tickets, serve food, clean up, etc. Lol, here it seems like the sports teams are just hanging out and reaping the profits while random kids earn some money for them.)

Some of the graffiti in the bathroom:

Sk8ers gonna Sk8 (I’m blanking on where this came from originally, I think it was on an IG post or text?)

Alt er love

Daniel + Grace

That last one, believe it or not, is what made me interested in reacting to this show. Because Grace is our Noora, there are hints of our William being called Daniel … and yet, what’s the context of that graffiti? It makes no sense when you think about it. New girl Grace surely doesn’t know Daniel. Is that supposed to be a hint to future Noorhelm, or is it a shoutout to something that won’t happen - like is Julie teasing us?

I mean, Grace and Daniel are very very common names, but the choice of graffiti was deliberate as we can tell from the other Skam references.

Lol @ me thinking Julie won’t do Noorhelm again but let me have this for now.

The Facebook/fandom reaction to Grace is an example of one of the worst parts of doing a close remake. If this were a completely new show and no one knew the plot, the reaction would have been, “Oh yay, Megan met someone nice :) Maybe they can be friends :) ”

But because she is supposed to be The Noora, a bunch of people had expectations for how she was supposed to act and (especially) look, and when she didn’t fit their expectations, complained. First of all, Grace was quite pretty to me so I didn’t even understand the backlash on a superficial level. Second, get the actual fuck out if you think any of these girls aren’t attractive enough to be a part of the squad. This show has never been about depicting the hottest, most physically perfect people. In fact that’s a reason people like Skam, that there are a variety of body types, their teeth, skin, and hair aren’t perfect.

Pointless personal anecdote #2: “Let’s give it up for Natalie on nunchucks” is how I want everyone to greet me when I walk into a room, I’m going to have to start practicing.

Jo is great! So good. “I want to see your dumbass routine.” “Ballet shit?!” That whole bit was awesome. What a true friend.

This was so awkward. Painfully awkward.

General Comments:

The IGs are nice work, I’m sure FB pulled some strings to get the pictures backdated. There are some good clues in them - Meg appearing in the old Kittens pics and the Mannequin challenge, Abby has pictures set in Megan’s bedroom where she has clearly cropped out Megan. Abby and Marlon have pictures of a beach from the same day.

Poonam’s super paranoid text about posting things on IG made me laugh a lot.

I didn’t talk about the acting. It’s ... not great in a lot of places, and sometimes it takes me out of the scene (especially in the Talent Night clip) but it’s not something I want to focus on a whole lot. The cast appears to be teenagers, many of whom have no acting experience, and I’m not totally comfortable being negative about them (NOT saying that no one can criticize their acting, just that for me personally I feel bad doing it). Besides, the fact of it being a direct remake is the more pressing problem for me. As for positives about the acting, I think Shay and Jo are great and have some natural comedic timing.

I am not rooting for Meg/Marlon at all. At all. No version of Eva/Jonas has induced this much annoyance in me. There’s a lack of chemistry, Marlon is more inconsiderate than the other Jonases, and they don’t seem to have much in common.

Unpopular (?) opinion but I have no problem with naming the Jonas character Marlon, or calling him marlonf9000 on IG. It’s an affectionate homage, sure. I guess my only problem with it is that Marlon the character sucks so far and Marlon the actor deserves better.

Man, I don’t even know what to feel about this show at this point. It feels so surreal. I don’t hate it? I’m not angry at it? I’m disappointed that we have to get yet another S1 more than anything. I actually want this show to succeed, believe it or not - even if I don’t care for it personally, I would rather have a lot of other people love it than not.

I also feel stupid for making any type of speculation on what could happen! Because we’re going to come up with these elaborate theories about how Julie could adapt the story and take it in a different direction, and it’s likely to be all for nothing and we’ll just watch an awkward redo of a scene we’ve already seen.

I do want to say good job for increasing the cast diversity. That was a main fear, that Skam Austin would be lily-white, and we’ve already got 5 prominent WOC in the cast (including Zoya) which is terrific.

I don’t take the millions of views on the first clip/first episode super seriously since FB was promoting it pretty hard and I heard something about a three-second rule? I’m more interested in seeing how the viewership on the episodes/clips manifests week by week.

It’s also clear that a lot of viewers were confused by the format and don’t get the concept of real-time clips vs. the compiled weekly episodes, which I can hardly blame them for since it’s not typical.

#skamus reactions #skam austin reactions

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natsubeatsrock · 6 years ago

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10 Marvel Heroes Who I’d Like to See Get a Movie in the MCU

NOT Fairy Tail Month - Post #4 (Marvel Cinematic Universe)

I’ve had a lot of fun getting into the MCU with my siblings. In the process, I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of the Marvel universe and am learning about its weird inner workings: the good, the bad, and the ugly. While there are two movies left in Phase 3, (I haven’t seen Ant-Man and the Wasp yet) I figured that it’s about time that I talk about some of the characters I’d like to see Marvel Studios tackle next.

There’s no particular order to this list, except for a definite #1. The only qualifier is that my picks can’t already be in the MCU either in film or TV. You’d be shocked how much of a blow that was to this list. Between confirmed easter eggs in films, cameos on the Netflix-verse, and appearances on other television shows, both airing or planned, there are a lot of heroes already in the MCU. Still, here are some I’m hoping will get their chance in the next few phases.

#10. Miss Marvel

Before someone mentions how Kevin Feige has already confirmed that Kamala Khan is coming to the MCU, consider two things. First, that her arrival is dependent on the establishment of Carol Danvers as Captain Marvel, a character whom we haven’t actually seen on screen as of yet, as a part of the universe. If you know anything about Kamala, that’s kind of a big deal. Though, with apparent plans to make Captain Marvel the new center of the MCU, that might not be much of an issue.

Second, and most importantly, he never actually said that she was getting her own movie. She may only end up sharing the screen with another major hero. Who knows, she might even only be on TV as many of my other hopefuls have. Here’s hoping things all work out.

#9. Spider-Woman

I want to see if Marvel will be able to work their magic with Sony and get at least one character to have their own live-action movie in the MCU. The obvious issue with this is that their contract to “share” Spiderman runs out after next year’s films. Still, a guy can dream, huh?

Miles would be an interesting pick. However, he’s getting his own treatment in animation and it was hinted that he’s in the universe already in deleted scenes. (Does that still count?) Originally, I was hoping that we could get a Silk movie. But her alter-ego Cindy Moon already is a part of the MCU. Yes, this is a thing I looked up. Here’s hoping Marvel can give Jessica Drew a chance.

#8. The Mutants

This won’t be the last time I kind of cheat on this list.

With the Fox-Disney merger becoming all but a reality, the obvious next step for the MCU is to bring on the idea of mutated humans into their universe. I’ve always loved the Mutants growing up across at least three different animated series. While I haven’t exactly gotten into their recent live-action film endeavors, I've heard that’s mostly a good thing.

Of course, there’s also the matter of logistics when it comes to bringing in established franchises into the MCU. Does this deal mean we’ll get the X-Men or New Mutants in the fold? How much of the previous movies will matter in the MCU? What about stuff like Legion and the Runaways? Who will take up the mantle as the next Wolverine? Considering this company made adding Spiderman into this narrative work well after two different live action runs, I’m not too worried. As long as Ryan Reynolds gets to stay as an R-rated Deadpool, things will probably be fine.

#7. She-Hulk

And speaking of breaking the Fourth Wall, She-Hulk has made a name for herself by jumping through the panels of her own comics. It would be cool to see her come to life. Who knows, we could actually get some payoff to loose ends from The Incredible Hulk, which has been around for 10 years.

There’s a bit of an issue with her though. Technically, the rights for her and the rest of the Hulk Universe belong to Universal Pictures. Of course, that’s not as much of an issue as with the Spiderverse, considering we already have the Hulk. But it still is kind of a hurdle. But it’s not like walls should mean too much to her.

#6. Devil Dinosaur

This is a bit of an interesting pick. Current fans of Marvel comics might know about his partner Moon Girl, a young African American girl. Older fans may know of the partner Moon-Boy, the alien who stopped him from dying out with the rest of his kind. The difference between the two feels more jarring typing it out.

If Kevin Feige decides to go with this pick, I’m sure that either side of the fandom would probably be disappointed in the event that they decide to do one over the other. Still, I think it should be obvious that the most important character in this equation has to be Devil Dinosaur as the original namesake for the comic. Though, I’d like to see Star-Lord find out about Devil Dinosaur for obvious reasons.

# 5. Power Pack

Look. I talked about the Fox deal and the idea of Mutants in the MCU is really exciting to me. And I guess it would be cool to see the Fantastic Four join in as well. But I’ve never been all that hype over them, to begin with. Like, part of it is that they haven’t had good movies. But I’ve never been all too interested in the group past the concept of astronauts becoming superheroes.

While I’m interested in seeing their potential movie in the MCU, I’d also like some attention go to other groups in the Marvel Universe. My pick is one of the other sets of families in Marvel. The Power Pack is a group of four siblings with superpowers- two brothers and two sisters. Incidentally, I’ve heard that there was some talk about them getting a movie soon. Here’s hope we get to see it happen.

#4. Hawkeye

What? You didn’t think I would add Hawkeye? For those of you who think I’m breaking my rules here, obviously, Clint Barton has been in the MCU for a while now. The new Hawkeye, Kate Bishop, has yet to make an appearance in the MCU. I feel like this would be a good time to introduce her. Not to mention, we could finally get some explanation for Clint’s past if he decides to stick along in order to be Kate’s mentor.

There have been a lot of shake-ups in Marvel comics. The Spider-verse gave us a ton of new versions of Spiderman. Kamala took up the mantle as Ms. Marvel from Carol. And Carol took it up after the original Captain Marvel died. That’s in addition to a bunch other things. While there are a lot of legacy characters in Marvel nowadays, with Iron Heart, Jane Foster’s Thor, and even a new Wasp, I’d like to see what Kate can do for the Hawkeye mantle.

#3. Nova

This may feel like a bit of a lame pick if your only exposure with him is the Ultimate Spiderman cartoon with Drake Bell as Peter Parker’s voice. (A concept which has forever ruined my own readings of Spidey) Still, this one actually has some weight behind it. After the events of Infinity War, Nova Prime has a great alternate reason to actually build Nova. (Originally, the reason for building him was the work of Helmut Zemo. You can see why this is a problem for the MCU.)

Not to mention that Kevin Feige has actually stated that he’s high on a hypothetical board of characters who could get a movie. If anything, this might be one of the more likely picks on this list. Who knows? He might be a part of that mythical easter egg in the Guardians films James Gunn has mentioned a few times.

#2. Namor

First, let’s get something straight. The Sub-Mariner came out a few years before Aquaman. I’m not saying that DC ripped off of Marvel (in this case). After all, the opposite is also true. Still, it’s crazy to think how unkind time has been to Marvel’s King of Atlantis. While Aquaman is getting a new film pretty soon, Namor hasn’t seen too much time to shine. It would be great to see what he can do.

Unfortunately, it’s not clear where his film rights lie. Marvel Studios thought they had control over him, but they don’t seem to anymore. And that’s if they ever did in the first place. So it’s not that they necessarily don’t want to rather than they technically can’t. With the new merger, hopefully, the other original members of the Illuminati will be able to pull something to bring their final ally into canon.

#1. A Surprise

Don’t judge me on this pick as my number one, okay? I can’t be the only one who hopes that we get something special and out of the blue as a hit. Could anyone honestly have thought Black Panther was going to end up being anywhere close to as huge as it’s become ten, or even five years ago? And I don’t just mean that it would be a really well-liked hero movie for Black people. This movie is one of the highest grossing films ever made and the only superhero films to make more than it is two of the Avengers films.

Similarly, Guardians of the Galaxy, Ant-Man, and Doctor Strange went from relative obscurity to household names after only a few movies. Heck, Iron Man wasn’t all too popular before his first movie more than a decade ago. Who’s to say that Marvel Studios won’t give us a movie none of us asked for but won’t end up being able to live without? Whether that be making a name from an obscure set of heroes we haven’t seen or gaining success from heroes with less than stellar comics, who can tell what will happen next in the MCU?

And that’s my list. Any heroes you’d want to see?

#not fairy tail month #marvel cinematic universe #mcu #incidentally. there are a lot of women/girls on this list #this may be because of the lack of women #with major roles #still i love the mcu #can't wait to see ant-man and the wasp #here's hoping!

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your-dietician · 3 years ago

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What college football coaches learned from the pandemic last year

New Post has been published on https://tattlepress.com/ncaa-football/what-college-football-coaches-learned-from-the-pandemic-last-year/

What college football coaches learned from the pandemic last year

WEST VIRGINIA COACH Neal Brown is hesitant when he says there are positive things to be gained from what he and his fellow coaches went through last season.

“Maybe ‘positives’ isn’t the right word,” he corrected himself.

Brown doesn’t want to paint a rosy picture of what was a frustrating situation for everyone involved. Talk to enough coaches and they’ll tell you how exhausting it was going through a pandemic, juggling safety and practice and those endless pages of protocols and, oh yeah, the games themselves.

They’re creatures of habit who thrive on structure and routine. But as North Carolina coach Mack Brown told his staff one day last year, “The only thing consistent is inconsistency.”

So, no, it wasn’t much fun, and there was very little in the moment that felt positive.

But the further away they get from what Neal Brown says was the most challenging experience for anyone in leadership, whether they were a coach, a CEO or a principal, the more there’s something to be gained from the experience.

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“I think there are opportunities that have come out of the adversity that we’ve been through,” he said.

Opportunities to rethink the way they practice and recruit. Opportunities to rethink the way they teach and communicate. Opportunities to not look away from social justice issues that for so long were ignored.

Like millions of Americans, Neal Brown has learned to embrace Zoom, which is why he was able to participate in this interview from his home one day last month.

That may not sound like much — it is the offseason, after all — but it runs contrary to an entire career of waking up early, going into the office for daily staff meetings, and since he was already there, staying a while even though there wasn’t much work to be done.

But on this day, he held the staff meeting virtually and drove his kids to school. Then, he returned home and spoke to a reporter from his own couch about coaching post-COVID-19 and how there’s a need for a better work-life balance in his profession, which for too long has embraced the lifestyle of the workaholic who sleeps in his office at nights.

After the call was over, his plan was to take the rest of the day off.

“There was no more, ‘This is the way we’ve always done it,'” Neal Brown said. “That’s probably the most growth that I made not only as being a head football coach but personally as well — adapting and embracing change.”

THERE WAS ONE curveball coaches were thrown that they all almost universally enjoyed and want to integrate moving forward.

The NCAA dubbed it “enhanced summer practice,” but what it boiled down to was a sort of pre-preseason practice to help players ease into more traditional training after so much time away because of COVID restrictions.

Similar to the NFL’s organized team activities, colleges were granted two extra weeks dedicated to weight training, conditioning, film review, walk-throughs and meetings. Players couldn’t wear helmets or pads during walk-throughs, but they could handle a football.

Alabama coach Nick Saban was a proponent of the plan, stressing how the practices would be non-contact and how they would provide more education, focusing on things like technique and fundamentals.

“It was awesome,” Georgia Tech coach Geoff Collins said.

Because of the limited contact and slow build-up, Collins said, “I thought we were fresher the early part of the season than we had been in the previous four years.”

Neal Brown has learned to embrace the benefits of Zoom meetings and working from home. Frank Jansky/Icon Sportswire

Iowa State coach Matt Campbell felt the same way about the health benefits of the extended preseason, except he noticed a difference on the back end of the season. In an interview with The Athletic, Campbell said he saw better practices from his team late in the year and quicker recovery times.

The Cyclones finished the regular season as winners of five straight, reaching the Big 12 championship game for the first time in school history.

“I thought the week of preparation, going into our bowl game, was maybe the best practices we had all year,” he told the website. “We were able to continue to add fuel to the tank instead of extracting some of that fuel. When we needed it most, we were able to find it and use it.”

Stanford coach David Shaw, who is chair of the NCAA rules committee, said coaches are hoping to adopt the extra lead-in time on an annual basis.

While there wasn’t enough time to change the calendar this year, next year is a possibility.

First, Shaw said, they need to talk to medical professionals to see whether their hunch that it’s healthier for players is backed up by actual science. Second, there’s the coaches’ quality of life to consider, because it’d be taking away two weeks of vacation.

Time will tell whether everyone gets on board, but in the meantime, Neal Brown has a more radical approach he’s considering.

Last season, out of necessity in order to limit a teamwide outbreak and to make the most out of the limited time they had to prepare, he essentially split West Virginia’s roster down the middle. Instead of holding one practice and one set of meetings for players each day, the Mountaineers held two.

What it did was confront the fact that if there are 85 scholarship players on a team, not all 85 are at the same level of maturity or understanding. So teaching them all the same is going to inevitably leave some players bored and leave others behind.

It’s simple, Neal Brown said: “You don’t want to slow them down where you lose the fourth-year player just so the first-year player has a chance.”

By dividing the roster along the lines of experience and readiness to play, he provided more targeted coaching and, perhaps most importantly, more reps for everyone.

He hasn’t made a final decision on split practices in the future, but said, “There’s a thought that maybe that’s the best way moving forward.”

IT’S SURPRISING THAT the pairing of Zoom and recruiting didn’t happen sooner.

After all, the growth of recruiting departments in college football and video communication technology like Zoom and FaceTime have coincided over the past decade. But before the pandemic, there was very little integration on those two fronts.

Well, not anymore.

Virtual visits allow for recruits to experience places like Fayetteville, Arkansas, they might not have ever been able to go to. Nelson Chenault-USA TODAY Sports

What happened out of necessity during a year of no in-person recruiting — namely FaceTime calls and virtual campus visits over Zoom — is here to stay.

Instead of hoping for an unofficial visit to show off their programs, coaches are now able to make a more tangible first impression online, which could be a huge win for difficult-to-reach places like Arkansas and Stanford.

During the pandemic, Shaw said his staff got creative and learned how to “bottle” the Stanford experience. That meant virtually introducing prospects to their professors and students, and showing off the beauty of campus, along with its terrific weather.

“We can’t wait to get people on campus,” Shaw said, “but we have a good program now to show them as much of campus as possible — the people as well as the scenery — to entice them to come.”

While Arkansas coach Sam Pittman says there’s no substitute for in-person contact, the value of virtual visits makes too much sense to ignore.

It’s a matter of logistics. Because Fayetteville’s nearest major recruiting hubs — Atlanta, New Orleans and Dallas — are all at least a five-hour drive away, it’s difficult to get recruits to campus.

“Instead of saying, ‘This kid can’t make it to Junior Day,’ why don’t we take the Junior Day to him?” Pittman said. “I learned that and we may use that in the future.

“We may have a weekend totally committed only to Georgia or Florida or someplace where the kids can’t get here.”

Neal Brown, whose West Virginia campus is a hike for many of the country’s top prospects, said it’s a win three times over to go virtual in recruiting.

“Players save money getting to and from campus, and universities save money, and it’s a better life for an assistant coach,” he said.

Plus, it’s fewer nights on the road for everyone.

MACK BROWN FOUND himself pouting last year.

During the first wave of the coronavirus, when everyone was forced to leave campus and it looked like the football season might not happen, he wondered why he bothered to come out of retirement.

“Why am I doing this?” he thought. “I came back to be around players and try to help them and help younger coaches, and I can’t talk to anybody, I can’t see them, they can’t even come around. What are we doing?”

That’s when his wife, Sally, spoke up.

“[She] jumped on me and said, ‘You know what? There’s never been a more important time for leadership. You need to help people understand this. You need to help solve the problems. You’ve been around a long time, so you need to figure it out,'” he recalled.

“And at that point I kind of woke up and said, ‘All right, I got it.'”

He had to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

That meant acknowledging what he didn’t know, whether it was about the pandemic or the social justice issues playing out in Raleigh and cities across the U.S.

At 69 years old, Mack Brown confronted some harsh realities.

Mack Brown told his staff one day last year, “The only thing consistent is inconsistency.” Grant Halverson/Getty Images

For so long, he saw the locker room as a place free from racism. But then he heard the pain in his players’ voices as they discussed the murder of George Floyd. And then he found out that two of his coaches — one white and one black — hadn’t spoken in days.

“That really bothered me,” he said. “I could tell there was pressure, there was tension.”

Rather than sidestepping it, they confronted it head-on as a team.

“We talked hard,” Mack Brown said.

And he also listened. A lot of what was said surprised him.

He kept hearing about white privilege, which he took to mean that he had money and a good life. So he asked his players questions about it and began to understand.

“I’m white privilege,” he realized. “I don’t feel race. I don’t see it. I don’t get stopped going home. I don’t get shot in the back.”

Talking it through brought them closer together, and it led to conversations about mental health, drugs and homelessness.

“I’m not sure it wasn’t the closest team I’ve ever been around,” he said.

Kentucky’s Mark Stoops was one of many coaches across college football who walked arm-in-arm with his players last summer to protest police violence against people of color.

But just because the protests have subsided doesn’t mean the issues have.

“I’ve learned that we need to continue to not let this matter go away,” Stoops said. “We have to continue to address it. We have to continue to work at it. We have to continue to do our part to be part of the solution to grow closer together, and keep that at the forefront of our program through communication and education.”

BAYLOR’S DAVE ARANDA says he saw the worst in a lot of people and the best in others.

He doesn’t name names, nor does he cite specific issues. He doesn’t want to be polarizing. But the last year revealed a lot to him.

He referenced the TV show “Ted Lasso” and a scene in which the lead character, a soccer coach, is playing darts in a pub and quotes Walt Whitman: “Be curious, not judgmental.”

“Keeping that approach all the way through COVID when there’s really good and really bad things happening and you’re seeing bad parts of people, I think is the key,” Aranda said. “When you come out on the other side of it, there’s an opportunity to blossom.”

But to blossom into what?

Whether it’s a global pandemic or a life event, Eli Drinkwitz sees a need for coaches to be more amenable. AP Photo/L.G. Patterson

Aranda sees a shift taking place in college football in which the old-school ways of coaching are fading.

“I’m not saying we’re it,” Aranda said, “but I do sense that along with the NIL and all of it, the birth of a modern coach — of someone that [deals with] social justice issues, race and inequality, the transfer portal, social media, mental health. It’s self-talk, positive talk, negative talk. It’s perfectionism. It’s bullying. It’s parents and expectations. It’s all of it.”

Missouri coach Eliah Drinkwitz talked about that trend toward a more holistic approach as well.

This generation of athletes is so flexible and adaptable, he said, and coaches are generally more rigid and routine-oriented.

There’s a fine line, of course, but whether it’s a pandemic or a life event, Drinkwitz sees a need for coaches to be more amenable.

He brought up Abraham Lincoln’s first inaugural address and the idea of striving to become a more perfect union. That notion of striving — admitting you’re not there, but you’re working toward it — is where he finds meaning.

It’s about listening and learning and working together.

“I’ve learned there’s a lot more capacity to do things than I ever thought possible if you take it one step at a time,” he said. “Then, before you know it, you get somewhere. You don’t look at the totality of the task, you take it one step at a time and put one foot in front of the other.

“And that’s really what we were trying to do the whole time — keep moving forward and try to make a positive impact, whether it was the pandemic or social justice, whether it was our football team trying to improve and establish our identity, every day let’s take a little step forward.”

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