#as they have done a lot of work for bringing lesbian history

[becuzmdsaidineededpersonality]

I don't know. I think it's a little disingenuous to portray conversations and frustrations from lesbians and sapphic women as just "petty infighting" and that these arguments are meant to breed "frustration and resentment".

Amazon Prime has removed several queer women from their adaptations while the queer men are still included.

21/30 of the canceled queer shows between 2020-2022 were about lesbians, sapphic women and/or WLW. (And this isn't even all of them...)

It's also been pretty well known that outside of a few exceptions of adaptational shows and films, shows and movies that focus on lesbians, sapphic women and/or WLW tend to get far less advertising and less diversity in the types of advertising that are given. I think a really good example of this is how much and how many different advertising methods were used for the adaptation of Red, White, & Royal Blue (a one-time summer film that is now getting a sequel that has nothing to do with the original source material) and A League of Their Own (a show with multiple episodes that was originally slated to have more than one season before the creators were ultimately screwed over by Amazon and it was cancelled after one season)

Don't even have to do a deep analysis. Just count the number of videos on Amazon's youtube channels RWRB has in comparison to ALOTO.

We're not mad and bringing this up because we think there is "too much gay man rep" because this is a pointless argument and a stupid one because what does that even mean and why would these standards of "too much" not apply to all the straight male characters out there? Also, I am pretty sure Asian gay men and Black gay men and Arab gay man and trans gay men and so forth and so on do not feel there is "tons of gay rep for them!"

We're also not mad and bringing this up because "certain content with your identity blowing up but it doesn't feel representative of you, isn't a genre you like, or is made by straight people / those not of your identity."

Now, are there people on places like twitter who will never be happy with any kind of lesbian, sapphic, and/or WLW representation in any storyline and literally are unable to accept the concept that "no, not every single storyline with a lesbian and/or sapphic character is going to align with your experiences" and will say things like "there has literally never been lesbians in (insert genre here) and when someone provides them with examples, they get defensive and shift the goal post because "well that genre is stupid and so and so ain't even a real lesbian so it doesn't count"? Sure, but should they really get to be discussed with any sort of validity when there are genuine points to be made about systemic discrimination and underfunding and undervaluing of lesbian, sapphic, and/or WLW representation in comparison to gay, achillean, and/or MLM representation...and when these arguments and evidence and discussions come up, it just gets brushed away and not taken seriously and literally nothing is done about it?

In fact, a lot of the canceled shows I am defending and talking about I don't even like because they are...well...not my thing.

And one of the problem shows mentioned, the Invincible adaptation, I actually enjoy for the most part. But as another fellow gender media studies researcher who is way smarter and better than me said, it's both possible, and even necessary, to simultaneously enjoy media while also being critical of its more problematic or pernicious aspects, and blatantly straight washing a lesbian character and a lesbian couple is a huge problem and I can and should speak out about this. And I will!

Now, I do agree with the overall message of this post. Consume media outside of your own genres to see more rep you want to see. The real issue is there not being enough representation in general. Yes, yes, yes. All good and correct things.

But it is beyond frustrating when every time this conversation comes up and lesbians like me point out the lesbaphobia and sexism against storylines revolving around lesbians, sapphic women, & WLW in many different facets that ultimately cause real world effects...I can't stand this framing because it ignores the larger picture and allows this stuff to be considered normal and expected.

Also, in what world is there more WLW representation than MLM representation in animated shows?

In kids shows, sure. But adding in adult animation?

Harley Quinn, Hazbin Hotel, Tuca and Birdie, and Arcane are four shows out of hundreds that tend to be male dominated and focus primarily on male storylines. Also, they suffer from the "later season sapphic trope" (with the exception of Hazbin) which while not an issue in and of itself, should be included in this conversation. No, not every person is going to like every single one and not every single one is going to be the "gold standard" when it comes to gay male rep...but if we are talking a pure numbers game...it's probably not even going to be close.

And speaking of adult animation, I often use Q-Force as an example of subtle lesbophobia presented in lesbian representation. The main gay male couples get tons of sex scenes, get to tell sex jokes...while the two main lesbian couples can't go past holding hands and a quick kiss (maybe, I don't even think they kissed but just to be sure) If you ever want to see some of the stuff I am talking about, watch that show and you will see. (now it is still a legit fun show too and I like it but again...the whole "it's both possible, and even necessary, to simultaneously enjoy media while also being critical of its more problematic or pernicious aspects")

I think a way better example to point to would be AAA studio video games because while m-spec and bisexual characters outnumber all LGBT representation in AAA studio video games, removing them from the equation and not including NPCs and putting the lesbian and gay male representation of protagonists side by side, this may be one of the few media categories where lesbian rep outnumbers gay male rep, and that is an issue and should be discussed.

But maybe I am wrong and there is a whole list of lesbian and/or sapphic characters in adult animated shows I am missing...this is more of the anecdotal part of the rant rather than the "here's proof this is happening" so take this with a grain of salt."

I see a lot of fighting online when it comes to gay rep. With extreme people on either sides but at the end of the day the real issue is we just don’t have enough lgbt rep. Plain and simple.

Some mediums / age demographics tend to lean a little more in one direction then the other, so if you only consume one you can feel like you are missing out (ie : there being more wlw content in animated shows and there being more mlm content in YA books)

And it leads to a lot of yelling online. People saying gay men get too much rep, people saying lesbians get too much rep. People wanting to see themselves in a medium they often consume and either getting straight content or content about lgbt not like them.

Or certain content with your identity blowing up but it doesn’t feel representative of you, isn’t a genre you like, or is made by straight people / those not of your identity.

It can lead to feelings of frustration, anger, resentment and being left behind. And I see it also leads to soooooo much infighting. When at the end of the day there just isn’t enough gay content.

It’s something that has to be sought out, even if it’s easier now then ever and we have access to stuff old and new. It’s still not enough.

[sprinkleonthatcriticism]

So I saw someone mention Namy Gaga on here and... well, if you want more context, I'm more than happy to provide links (to videos by Biotex Racoon on Youtube - overall they do a good job at detailing credible information regarding Namy's actions (English subtitles are needed btw)) for more context:

Part 1: https://youtu.be/tYptunXswYI?si=omEUyuajQwhUUZK7

Part 2.1: https://youtu.be/sjwFO6v8j84?si=dqvPyc5ourgKjGYo

Part 2.2: https://youtu.be/hOsdtXk4P_U?si=aSNa9cye6qUarQUi

Part 3: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CcrRkJPeQKg

I'm actually surprised not enough people are aware of her actions, which is actually worrying to me given that she still has her online platforms (Youtube, Deviantart, Tumblr, Insta, Cara, Twitter, etc.) despite the hurt she has caused.

The reason why I'm not showing images/evidence for some of her actions on here is because I want to maintain my anonymity for my own safety (since Namy has had a history of harassing her critics and manipulating her fanbase to harass those who publicly bring awareness to her behaviour) and Tumblr doesn't allow you to share images in an anonymous ask.

If you want a summary of some of the more egregious things she's done, I'll quickly provide one below (with the appropriate disclaimers and content warnings for any readers ofc).

SOME DISCLAIMERS/NOTES:

TO ANYONE READING THIS: Please DO NOT send harassment to either Namy or anyone else involved.

TO ANYONE READING THIS: Please DO NOT contact/harass Namy’s current partner or any of her family as, to my knowledge, they have no involvement in the incidents I’ll be discussing.

TO ANYONE READING THIS: Two things can be true at once. Namy should be held accountable for her actions regardless of her LGBTQ+ experiences AND invalidating/disrespecting the identities of Namy and those involved (her victims included) is bad and sets an awful precedent when it comes to cases like this.

Namy was born in October 1998 and currently lives in Mexico (as per her DeviantArt bio).

At the time the majority of the incidents that I’ll discuss were documented (2015-2024), Namy had been very open about her lesbian identity and a lot of her work features LGBTQ+ characters and relationships (mostly those under the sapphic umbrella). As of me writing this, she still identifies as lesbian/sapphic (“I still like women, I have a sexual and romantic preference for feminine traits, I don't care if the person is a trans girl, an androgynous person or a genderless person or many, as long as they look feminine, I like it”).

For the majority of her online presence, Namy identified as a cis woman, but explored androgynous gender expression (e.g. fashion) in ~2022-2023. As of August 2024, Namy opened up about being genderfluid. While Namy still prefers “she/her” (which I will be using here), she doesn’t mind being referred to as a guy.

Some of the controversies Namy has been involved in have been omitted from this ask, either because they were caused by a genuine misunderstanding, were resolved privately, were just blown out of proportion by some people to justify harassment, and/or will take focus away from the more concerning incidents should I discuss them here.

When discussing some individuals, certain details have be changed/omitted to respect their privacy and to prevent further harassment.

Despite the substantial evidence supporting the testimonies of those she hurt, I regrettably need to state that, until Namy has been trialled and convicted in a court of law, she is innocent until proven guilty (that, however, is a legal disclaimer and should not be misconstrued as me dismissing the aforementioned evidence). 

As a FNAF fan since mid-2019, I used to be a casual fan of Namy’s FNAF AU from that time up until mid-2022 (when I first found out about some of the more egregious things she’s done, including what happened to one of her victims) - this is why I know a bit about her AU story and how closely tied the development of it was to the incidents I’ll discuss (essentially tarnishing the legacy of that AU).

While I will give Namy a SMALL benefit of the doubt that she has changed from certain behaviours and mindsets (e.g. transphobia), no amount of “wanting to change” will exempt her from being responsible for the hurt she caused to her victims and any legal consequences that she will have to face for that.

CONTENT WARNING FOR MENTIONS OF:

Predatory/abusive relationships

Inappropriate and illegal/immoral NSFW artwork

Queerphobia including but NOT limited to:

Transphobic remarks

Fetishisation/harmful depictions of bisexual women (in a fictional context in her FNAF AU, but still has worrying implications)

Distasteful remarks regarding ace and pan people

Potentially harmful depictions of sexual abuse and mental health struggles experienced by LGBTQ+ characters (again, in her FNAF AU)

Harassment including but NOT limited to doxxing, sexual harassment, and spreading misinformation

Manipulative behaviours

Using slurs as a means of deriding those with genuine criticisms/concerns

Basically, here is the summary:

Namy has had a long history of creating NSFW artwork condoning/romaticising incest (e.g. one of the romantic pairings in her FNAF AU being of Circus Baby/Brenda and her adoptive mother Ballora/Roselle) and the sexualisation of teenagers/children (e.g. her infamous TOH comic), some of which date back as far as 2014/2015. As of 2024, she claimed that she has removed those pieces from all of her NSFW platforms, but as of me writing this, they're all still up on her Baraag account.

She has swung between condemning and supporting Shadman and his drawings (if you know, you know) whenever it was most convenient for her, claiming that he was one of her inspirations when it came to drawing NSFW artwork herself from a very young age.

In 2018, Namy harassed another FNAF AU creators (Ed00chan), claiming that her FNAF AU was better and making a couple of what I can only describe as harassment drawings (both of which are still on her Deviantart (https://www.deviantart.com/namyg/art/Pero-ke-Mrd-es-esto-NO-706449559) and one of which included the AUs of other artists who I doubt supported her harassment in any way (https://www.deviantart.com/namyg/art/FNAFNG-What-did-you-say-753972002)).

Namy has had a history of being incredibly immature and spiteful towards her critics (not the trolls, I mean those who had genuine concerns about her behaviour). In response to getting kicked out of a Welcome Home Facebook fan group in May 2023, she accused the admins of homophobia (essentially using her identity as a shield) when they were actually concerned about the safety of the other members. In the years prior to this, she had used multiple slurs to refer to her critics, such as "gringo" (a derogatory Latin Spanish term for anyone who is a foreigner, regardless of someone's skin colour or ethnic/cultural background), the n-word, and the r-slur.

In July 2023 (around the time something VERY important happened that I'll discuss later on), Namy made a Tumblr account and made two posts mocking her critics. She has since repurposed it as an ask blog, but that blog was still intended to be used to harass her critics.

In 2015, she made a post on Twitter arguing that medical transition and gender-affirming surgery was a pointless endeavour for trans and gender-diverse people, telling those who have had surgery to get a refund and calling them the latin Spanish equivalent of the f-slur (that screenshot may still be circulating on Tumblr).

In 2018, Namy made an infamous "meme comic" gatekeeping LGBTQ+ experiences (i.e. according to her logic, exploring and coming to terms with your sexuality/gender is a 'decision' and that her advice is 'the most correct') - warning that some of the comments underneath this post are pretty confronting: https://www.deviantart.com/namyg/art/LGBT-Correct-answer-Meme-757868018

In the years to follow, she has been criticised by LGBTQ+ people for a number of things including but not limited to: making distasteful comments about two pansexual characters from her FNAF AU (see in the description of this post (https://www.deviantart.com/namyg/art/FNAFNG-Pride-Month-11-881475230) and Namy's response to one of the comments of this post (https://www.deviantart.com/namyg/art/FNAFNG-Pride-Month-14-966150705)), ignoring the fact that ace and a-spec people can have relationships (translated from one of her Twitter posts in 2021: "As long as a character may be able to feel love, they have the right to have a partner"), pairing bisexual women characters in her FNAF AU with incest jokes (the adoptive daughter of Chica and Stacy/Toy Chica: https://www.deviantart.com/namyg/art/FNAFNG-Photo-album-926228818) and incestuous relationships (Circus Baby/Brenda), pairing Brenda's bisexuality and her trauma from sexual abuse (which she also fetishised in this censored drawing: https://www.deviantart.com/namyg/art/FNAFNG-Freakenda-begins-ECCHI-880842769) with said incestuous relationship without any level of sensitivity or consideration, and tagging an NSFW artwork of Poppy Partridge (a trans woman) from Welcome Home as "futanari" (a hentai genre that has been heavily criticised for fetishising trans and intersex bodies).

On two separate occasions, Namy engaged in predatory, abusive (emotionally and sexually) relationships with 16-17 year-old individuals. One of these relationships took place in 2019-2020 (Evan, a trans man who Namy dated prior to his transition - after their relationship ended, Namy would misgender and deadname him behind his back) and the other in 2020-2021 (Mely) - both of which while Namy was in her early 20s and completely aware of their ages (blackmailing Mely into keeping her age a secret).

As per their testimonies, both Evan and Mely experienced emotional/sexual abuse, romantic grooming, and manipulation from Namy. Biotex's new video details Namy specifically did to them both (warning for some of it can be incredibly distressing to read/hear about).

Namy has defended both of these relationships, even falsifying Mexican laws to downplay how illegal these relationships are (despite the fact that the ages of consent in most provinces in Mexico, including her own, is 18 - and that Mexico does not have "Romeo and Juliet laws"). 

After Mely cut ties with Namy, Namy allegedly continued to harass her, especially in her comments on the former's Facebook posts. In July 2023, Mely - who had come out about her experiences publicly in September 2022 - filed a lawsuit against Namy (yet to be resolved as of me writing this).

In response, Namy doxxed Mely's full legal name in a video addressing the lawsuit (which has since been deleted) and lied about the relationship, inciting her fanbase to harass Mely. This harassment worsened in December 2023, when Namy released a Google Drive attempting to paint herself as innocent and to victim-blame Mely. The Drive in question has been privated as of me writing this, but it contained screenshots and other evidence confirming that love-bombing and sexual coercion/exploitation among others were involved in this relationship (meaning they could easily be used in to support the victim’s testimony in a court of law).

Namy continues to victim-blame both Evan and Mely, despite privating the Google Drive and claiming to have apologised to both victims.

Since Biotex's newest video came out, there was a third victim (Zoe, who was one of Namy's voice actors for her FNAF AU animations since 2017 (when she was 16)) of Namy's behaviour and who knows how many others she's hurt! Even with the potential argument that Namy had no intent to have a romantic relationship with Zoe, that doesn't ignore the fact that, during 2017, Namy initiated sexually-charged conversations with Zoe, talked about ideas for NSFW art, and requested audio from Zoe to which she responded by saying that Zoe had a "sexy voice".

Thank you for reading.

.

[shitswiftiessay]

“multiple posts in support of the lgbtq community”

her LGBTQ “activism” pretty much started and ended with the lover era. she released the musical equivalent of “it’s ok to be gay,” she waited until she was in a blue state on the eras tour to even barely address the anti trans legislation that was being passed in OTHER states (states she had just performed in where her speech would’ve made much more of an impact). and telling people to go vote without specifying who you’re voting for or bringing attention to the important issues is not activism. it’s merely a voting reminder. which is fine, but, y’know, it doesn’t make you an lgbt advocate. which she promised to be as she accepted an award for it.

and despite the fact that she’s reportedly “spending a lot more time” in fuckass missouri to be with travis, she’s yet to say anything about the anti lgbt legislation being passed in that state.

she also went off tumblr because people asked her to talk about BLM and swifties act like it was the cruelest thing in the world to expect of her 🙄 but she made a whole thing in her documentary about wanting to be on the “right side of history.”

and taylor did the black square too so if you’re gonna attack joe for that 💀

and she made some promises on twitter to be “loudly and ferociously anti-racist.” then she went on to date racist pos matty healy… and use ice spice as a shield. AND she also made sure that her publicist let everyone know that the “controversy” surrounding matty’s racism had NOTHING to do with her decision to split from him.

so… yeah.

these same miserable fucking swifties used to praise joe alwyn for speaking out against men abusing their power over women in hollywood but now their whole blogs are basically dedicated hate blogs to him. because he committed the crime of not marrying taylor so now they’ve decided he’s the worst man on the planet. 🙄

meanwhile taylor’s working with rapist directors, hanging out with SA apologists and high-fiving an abuser at football games. her feminism and “advocacy” is limited ONLY to herself and it’s painfully obvious she does not give a shit about anything that doesn’t directly affect her.

also, joe’s name wouldn’t have been added to that ceasefire letter if he didn’t WANT it added. it’s a risk to anyone in the entertainment industry to openly support palestine and no one’s name is going to be “just added” without their consent. signing that ceasefire letter may be bare minimum shit, but it’s still more than anything Miss Americana has said or done regarding this issue, which is absolutely nothing, and you have to ask yourself WHY.

also if you’re upset about people saying that taylor was encouraged to be more political because of joe… idk what to tell you that’s literally a canon event that came straight from taylor’s own mouth.

and it’s not that i think she’d be a trump supporter without joe but… it’s pretty obvious that since they’ve broken up (and even in the year leading up to the breakup) she’s not dared to do anything remotely resembling activism or being “controversial.” if anything she’s just too fucking narcissistic and self-absorbed to care about anything going on in the world, just like her bestie selena.

[alexissara]

Diving into Heather Fire Emblem

So Heather Fire Emblem Radiant Dawn is a character with very little screen time but as Fire Emblem's first 100% canon lesbian she has always had a special place in my heart even before I was out or really looking for representation I was drawn to this woman and her affection for other women. Today, I want to dive into her character, my reading of her and why I think she is a really great character who has potential to be a truly amazing character if she was ever given the spotlight and focus she deserves in some kind of Remake.

Heather is a poor woman, raised in the rural areas of Crimea which of the Beroc [This world's humans] nations is one of the more peace loving but least wealthy nations. Heather has a sickly mother at home, one who she cares for deeply. In her caring for her mother her job a thief has a strict purpose, bring money home for mom, take care of her, even if you have to get into riskier situations to get that money. It is in her mother's illness that Heather knows she must go out boldly and runs into the events of Fire Emblem Radiant Dawn.

If she dies she cries “Mother... Forgive me... I...lied... I stole... And this...is my punishment...” showing her mother doesn't know how she cares of her or the lengths she goes to to tend to her mother lying about how she makes the living for the pair of them. This speaks to a core element of the character, she is a soft hearted woman, she cares for her mother a lot and would do anything for her and she learned that in this world she needed to lie and steal to survive. Heather is a compassionate survivor who wears the masks she needs to wear in order to make it in the world.

As mentioned earlier one of the most notable things about Heather is her position as Fire Emblem's first canon lesbian a positioned she would be alone in until Fire Emblem Three Hope's Monica entered the screen 15 years later. This means something in her own world as well though, while the land of Tellius more certainly seems a little more inclusive in terms of women's places in society that does not mean queerness has been elevated into being a norm. For the most part we don't know much about queerness in the continent of Tellius we see through Heather that there is still heteronormative expectations at work for common women. Kyza's supports also imply at least a small pressure for people to be a bit more private about their sexuaity and gender.

Heather is hit on by men and likely has been hit on by men as a fairly traditionally attractive, unmarried adult woman for some time. She learned how to manipulate men into getting meals and other things from them outside of just robbing them but her manipulation is totally harmless, it is men doing things for the expectation of something Heather has never promised or even implied, simply a man's expectations for women. We know Heather has no history of abuse from an interview question where it was also affirmed she is simply a lesbian, that is just her nature and that she was never abused. So this kindness comes not from a place of trauma but in a place of solidarity with other women. We can see that the harassment of men is a factor for her though from her ability in the fire emblem TCG "Buffoonish men are in for a thrashing!" which shows how much she is just done with men being an asshole to her.

Unlike the men of the world her love for women comes with no expectation that they'll romance her, she likely thinks she is the only woman who likes other women, that she will be alone in her desires. So she simply works to make pretty women happy, content to give them a small flirt and a gift then leave them to do their own thing. Just getting to see a pretty woman is what she wants from a desire to see Princess Elenica and see if she lives up to the stories to wanting to help women like Nepheene and Illyana. She knows both that her taking care of her mother most come first but also that she's unlikely to be able to meet another woman to love.

I don't think it's an accident that the two women we see her be most into are bother fellow commoners when you look at Heather a a woman who is focused on solidarity between women. Heather's mechanics in Fire Emblem Cipher tend to lean on her attraction to women as well having women based abilities. In fact one of her abilities is called "For the smiles of girls!" showing that what she is doing is simply to see another woman smile. The end goal isn't marriage, isn't sex, isn't a relationship but just to see other women smile. This places her as a woman who is deeply rooted in community with other women and solidarity with them.

All of this comes from so little in the game and card game but I think together it paints a picture of an extremally kind woman with a roughish slant. She can be a scoundrel but only to people who deserve it and she is willing to steal and blackmail but it's always for a woman who is in need. At the end of the game Heather returns home to her mother, she lies and says she won't go be a thief again but she makes sure her mother is taken care of for the rest of her mother's life. She has no paired endings and is left alone at the end of it, proving that her own assumption is correct that she wouldn't find love so instead she would settle for smiles.

I want the best for Heather and I wish her love with many women. In my head she has a nice polycule to go see and helps nurse her mom to good health but regardless I think she has so much potential that was not explored thanks to Radiant Dawns bad support system and in general just being a minor character in a very massive cast. I love her and I hope I showed a bit of what draws me to her and why I think she is so special. If you enjoyed and want more, let me know and maybe I'll do more character deep dives. And of course Patreon and Ko-fi are always great ways to support me slash get me to do what you want.

Little ending note here, I wrote this before Heather got announced for FEH! I am so excited and I will totally be listening to her voice lines and stuff and seeing if there is any more gold about her, maybe I'll update this if they have something I feel adds to my reading but as it looks like now it's same old lesbian Heather being gay for Nephenee and women in general.

[vangbelsing]

Ever since Veilguard was announced, there's been an absolute tidal wave of hate ranging from vitriol for the art style, gameplay changes and overall feel/aesthetic of the game, to outright racism, homophobia and transphobia, as well as attacks on the devs and fans trying to enjoy the game. So I want to just put this out there.

It is valid to:

Not enjoy the art style, as no one should dictate what your aesthetic preference is

Prefer the systems/gameplay of previous DA games

Prefer to wait until the game is out before you buy into the hype

Distrust EA/Bioware due to its past and its current actions/situation

Criticize what you dislike about the game in your own posts

Simply decide that this game isn't for you

I encourage you to:

Speak out against the mass layoffs and often inhumane practices by EA and to elevate the voices of those impacted by them

Speak out against and bring attention to the problematic or harmful things EA/Bioware has/will engage(d) in, do, say, etc, willingly or unknowingly, in the future

Criticize EA, Bioware, the devs/team and Dragon Age itself about the things on which they can improve, as it is not too much to ask for someone/something to do better

Spread awareness of what EA/Bioware have done, what they are doing, and what they do in the future. Let people know the history of these companies so they can make informed decisions and to improve the working conditions for the teams at these studios

What you shouldn't do:

Attack or harass people who are excited for and showing support for the game.

Comment under the posts of fans or official trailers/interviews with the sole intention of hating on the game to ruin the excitement or fun for others. If you don't like it, don't interact with it.

Spread misinformation about the game in an attempt to negatively impact it

What is absolutely unacceptable:

Being a hateful fucking bigot

To all the hateful fucking bigots out there:

I keep seeing a repeat of comments like: "this isn't my Dragon Age!" "Dragon Age is too gay!" "Dragon Age has too many black/Asian, literally any person who isn't a cishet white male or a conventionally attractive straight white woman!" And you know what? You're absolutely correct! Dragon Age is gay! Dragon Age is a space where people of all colors, races, cultures, ethnicities, identities, sexualities, orientations, and all walks of life exist, both in world and in its fan base!

And as for this being "not your Dragon Age", again, you are absolutely correct! This isn't your Dragon Age, because Dragon Age isn't for you. It never has been, and it certainly isn't now. The co-creator is a gay man, the devs have always included queer people and poc, and despite its many flaws and the numerous ways in which it has let down the people belonging to those groups, it is still a space for them, which are created in part by people like them.

Dragon Age will always be inclusive, as it has been from the very first game that you love acting like you care about so much. There are gay, lesbian, bi, pan, trans, black, Asian, and all other kinds of people both in and behind these games! If you can't handle that, then fine! We don't want you anyway!

To the people who actually care about this series and who want this game and team to succeed:

I encourage all of you to let your voices be heard by the devs. Tell them exactly how you feel! Let them know what landed, what made you feel seen, what resonates, what you think needs work, where they stepped out of line; all of it! More than anything, there are real people behind this game, and they've poured years of their hearts, souls, time and talent into this piece, and it seems a lot of them genuinely care for their fans and this game and want to deliver the best game they can to us! And those people matter! They deserve a fair chance to see their work pay off without having to be negatively impacted by people who just want to spread hate and see others fail.

No one is above criticism, no matter how good their intention of how pure their desires are, so when they misstep, speak out! But while we should be sure to let the devs know how much this game means to us and how much what they do matters, let's also push for the fair treatment of everyone who was unfairly laid off or mistreated by EA/Bioware and who are still fighting for their due compensation for their hard work. Let's advocate for them in the months leading up to DA:TVs launch and the months after. And let the devs know how important it is to have those people's names in the credits!!!

And most importantly... Please be kind to and look out for one another!! There's so much going on in the world right now, and there is so much hatred being spread against minority groups, and we need to be compassionate to each other! Let's allow the game to be a thing that brings us together and gives us something to escape into and enjoy!

In closing:

Hate the game or love it, if you are transphobic, racist, homophobic, antisemitic, misogynistic, or any other kind of prejudiced bigot, THIS GAME IS NO PLACE FOR YOU!! NEVER WAS, NEVER WILL BE!!!!

Thanks for your time! Fuck TERFs and racists and all the other bigots!

[genderkoolaid]

jules gill peterson is an actual historian and a literal professor that has done extensive research and has access to sources and information and peers in academia that you do not. you are a random trans masc on the internet. what do u think gives you the right to criticize her work when you have zero relevant sources and appears you haven't read her books on the subject? u said urself she is talking about american history, and then u bring in non western perspectives and act like they can apply the same? you are not an expert and your feeling of entitlement on trans topics is laughable, especially when it involves trans femmes.

people are allowed to have opinions on the internet. someone asked for my opinion on her statements on a podcast and i gave them.

maybe think about why the simple act of saying "a lot of transmascs in history were active in lesbian communities, so any discussion of transmasc history needs to bring that up and not rely solely on stealth trans men" makes you so angry.

[rubykgrant]

Because of REASONS, I remembered my Scooby-Doo character designs from a few years ago. I decided to touch-up the picture a bit and fix a few things. So, here they are again! If I were to totally make my own “dream version” of Scooby-Doo, this isn’t exactly the “style” I’d prefer them in (something a little closer to the classic), this is just a cute and simple style I use when I want to get an idea for basic body-types, hair, and outfits. As for the story, I’d toss together all my favorite things from every previous version, but the basic plot would go like this; the kids all originally met when they were very little, trick-or-treating on Halloween, and solving the mystery of some mean older kids who were stealing candy. During middle school, they wound up moving away from each other for various reasons... but all reunited in high school! They had a fairly normal time, solving mundane mysteries and such. After graduation, they decide to take a road trip together, and THAT is when they truly become Mystery Inc. A mixture of the old-school plots, some new adventures, and yes- sometimes the spooky things ARE real! I’d honestly aim for it to be PG-13, it doesn’t need to be turbo-edgey and grim-dark, but they can say swears. There would one F-bomb in the whole show, and Freddy gets to say it~

(some character notes below)

I drew Velma first because I’ve always wanted to update her outfit as sort of a sleeveless sweater-dress kind of thing. I gave her red shorts instead of a skirt, and I think it somehow made her look more sporty but still cute. Some orange high-tops sort of bring it together. I wanted her hair to have something like a flapper-girl style, and I kept classic style square glasses because she works them (and still can’t see without them). Velma is easily the most adorable. She’s still the “smart one”, but she doesn’t know EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING; history, science and chemistry, literature, and math are what she excels at. She also has a near photographic memory, and although she understands a lot about technology (in terms of software/programming/coding), she isn’t too great with machines. Some background for her; Velma is mixed Japanese/Mexican and Jewish. She’s also trans and a lesbian~

I knew I wanted Daphne to look really fashionable, but also in something simple and comfortable. I gave her a purple halter top/skirt with a leg-cut on one side, and loose lavender jeans. She almost never has pants in her main outfit, but I think it gives her a fun nostalgic look of the 60s and 70s. I moved her green scarf up to her hair, and gave her matching green earrings. I like the idea that because she’s a little clumsy (Danger-Prone-Daphne) she’s taken lots of athletic lessons to try and make up for it; she’s done ballet, gymnastics, Karate, boxing, archery, played different sports like soccer/basketball/baseball/tennis, swimming lessons, and equestrian classes. Basically, when she’s in “alert-mode”, she could probably handle just about anything… but when she’s not paying attention she tends to trip (though, she’s kinda of backwards-lucky by stumbling into clues this way). Daphne can speak several languages fluently, she’s got perfect pitch, is super sensitive to textures so she can recognize any material, and has a gift for being very charming and intuitive. Some background for her; her dad is Iranian, and her mom is Scottish. She’s also bi~

I always wanted to give Fred a blue jacket. I just think it suits him. He’s also got light-blue jeans, and a white long-sleeve shirt (with a red collar to replace the ascot haha). He’s got a little bit of a farm-boy vibe (hence the belt and work boots). He’s all about cars and other machines, a real  Mr. Fix-It, and he loves taking stuff apart to see how it works. As a result he’s pretty good at his other hobby besides mechanics… TRAPS. Fred also practices being an escape artist, so if he ever gets caught he’ll be able to get out of almost anything. Although he’s certainly not “stupid”, he has a tendency to be a bit oblivious and a little too headstrong. He’s got a heart if gold though, and everybody who knows him would agree that he’s endlessly kind. Some background for him; Fred’s parents went missing around when he younger, and so he’s had a few different foster families. He doesn’t get reunited with his folks until much later (learning more about his family, he finds out he’s mixed Italian/Norwegian). He’s also bi~

Shaggy doesn’t need much changing (if I altered too much, he just wouldn’t look like Shaggy anymore). I have him a white long-sleeved shirt under his classic green one, changed his brown pants into cargoes (all loose fitting, Shaggy likes it baggy), and gave him some black sneakers. He’s naturally still got long hair and a scruffy chin (plus some sideburns). Even though he’s a well known scardey-cat, Shaggy has a deep love for horror movies and fictional spooky stuff doesn’t seem to bother him. His various fears and phobias have actually made him a safety expert; not only does he usually carry a back-pack with a fully stocked first aid kit, he knows how rescue somebody who is drowning, all the safety procedures for different vehicles/aircraft, CPR, and survival tactics (he actually knows more medical facts than Velma). Despite being so thin and lanky, he is almost always eating, sometimes thinking with his stomach rather than his head. He’s always happy to share though, and he even cooks great meals for his friends (mindful of allergies and what-not). Some background for him; he’s Canadian First Nations and Jewish on his mother’s side. He’s also trans, bi and ace~

Scooby was maybe the most difficult to draw… he’s so iconic, and I wasn’t sure how to draw him in this style but still make him look like Scooby. I’m not sure if I succeeded, but I think the result isn’t too bad. Shaggy found Scoob as a pup, and they have been best friends ever since. Like Shaggy, Scooby loves to eat and hates to be afraid, but he’s only a coward when something threatens him; if a monster or villain is going to hurt one of his friends, Scooby always comes to their defense. People forget that he’s actually a very big strong dog because he’s usually so gentle and silly. Scoob knows all sorts of trick from the typical “sit/roll-over/shake” to more impressive stunts. Although he loves attention and praise, the best way to get him to do anything is to bribe him with a Scooby Snack! He’s a very smart animal, and the fact that he can communicate when he smells or hears something suspicious that people might miss is a real asset for solving mysteries. Like any good dog, Scooby is loyal and lovable~

[droughtofapathy]

"Welcome to the Theatre": Diary of a Broadway Baby

Cats: The Jellicle Ball

July 6, 2024 | Off-Broadway | PAC-NYC | Evening | Musical | Revival | 2H 30M

Well, I didn't hate it. But I didn't love it either, so at least my pretentious theatre persona didn't take a complete hit.

Cats remains one of the most divisive shows in musical theatre history. You either love it or hate it, and you can guess where I stand. Cats: The Jellicle Ball is a high-concept revival that recenters the story on ballroom culture. It's queer, it's spectacle, it's painfully appropriate. It works so well and I'm a little mad about it. I fear this was the way Cats was always meant to be presented. Now, the "cats" are ballroom performers with two Houses (House of MaCavity and House of Dots) competing for trophies and Old Deuteronomy's approval. The ultimate prize remains the Heavyside Layer, which is still basically just ritualistic suicide so I don't know what's up with that, but sure, fine, whatever.

Things of note:

Jennyanydots is a House Mother who has a litter of virgin voguers ("kittins") she's coaching to win the competitions.

Munkustrap is the Emcee of the night.

The virgin voguers are Victoria, Cassandra, and Electra.

Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer are from Jersey and cause all sorts of havoc during the category competitions.

Rum Tum Tugger is as horny as ever, and if you read any other reviews, they'll mention the actor's jockstrap. Personally, as a lesbian, I was unimpressed, and his overall performance was just okay to me. His voice was very much your basic pop star kiss the mic and pout kind of deal. Don't care.

Macavity is less of a villain here and more of an irresponsible House Father who shoplifts his house members' costumes. This is about the only real plot we have. The police come to arrest Macavity for his thefts and Old Duteronemy "gives himself up" to the cops to protect Macavity (who is now guilt-ridden and apologetic(?))

But don't worry. Magical Mr. Mistoffeles is here to save the day with a big magician's trick box and Andre de Shields emerges unscathed.

Gus, the theatre cat is played by Junior LaBeija, an icon and trailblazer of ballroom culture. He has been a member of House of LaBeija for over fifty years, and his legendary status shows.

Skimbleshanks is a slutty MTA employee.

Grizabella is a former ballroom icon who is well-past her prime. Now homeless and destitute, she longs to regain the glamour of her youth.

The changes to the setting and "story" means that some "cats" are drastically downgraded. Bombalurina doesn't get to do anything anymore (and the one "Macavity" song is...not impressive from her end). Jellylorum gets elevated to a more vocally impressive role. Shereen Pimentel is almost single-handedly carrying the entire cast's singing. She floats on that high soprano track and I am in awe.

As a piece of artistry, this new concept is radical, transformative, and wildly creative. As a musical, the source material is still...Cats... So like, there's only so high it can climb. Yes, it's a fun night out. It's wild. I sat along the runway, so I had "cats" dancing right in front of me and twerking on the little round table I sat behind. At one point, two of the cats sat next to me to hang out. At another point, they offered up vodka shots (alas wasted on my sober ass). It made for one hell of an immersive experience (which I could have done without, but I picked that seat to avoid climbing steps, so trade-off), and visually it's stunning. The choreography is a lot. I don't have much knowledge of ballroom culture beyond a rudimentary understanding (and I'm not a fan of drag, which is heavily based off that), but I can appreciate the physical feat. The cast is partially trained musical theatre performers and partially ballroom performers, and the divide is pretty damn stark. Which brings me into my main criticisms.

Dramaturgically, the "plot" they try to infuse with the police and the raid is...not great in execution. I don't think there would ever be a successful way to integrate a book into this musical. But we don't have time to get into all that.

Also, it's a really fucking rowdy kind of show with lots of screaming and hollering from the audience, which is appropriate given the show, so I won't shake my fist. However, I was prepared to be miserable when the first note blasted through the house and everyone was shrieking with glee over a projection of a "cat" shadow doing a dance. Why so excited for what was ultimately very dull projection work? But I digress.

Musically, the show falls apart. Unlike Sondheim, whose work is far more reliant on excellent actors who can carry a tune, ALW's scores call for the opposite. His music demands technically perfect singers and actual acting can fall by the wayside as long as the notes sound good. Without singers, the whole scaffolding collapses. ALW scores are not about lyrics or even storytelling. They're about the notes. And this cast, while doing phenomenal physical work, has maybe two or three excellent singers, and no, they aren't playing the roles you'd expect. When Bebe Nicole Simpson as Demeter finally gets to do something halfway through act two ("Macavity: The Mystery Cat"), her incredible voice is a breath of fresh air. Shereen Pimentel is carrying the whole damn team with her high notes. Everyone else is standard ability, or lower. The sound mixing heavily favors the beat, so lyrics are lost to the aether left right and center. Which, given how I feel about ALW, might have been a positive, except that the lyrics of Cats (thank you T.S. Elliott) were really the only good thing, and with the casual dismissal of them here, what's left?

"Memory" is lowered significantly, and you won't find any Betty Buckley brilliance here. I understand wanting to have a ballroom icon in this role from a dramaturgical perspective, but from a musical perspective, big mistake. It's not a dance track, so it needed to be a singer. The actor did manage to infuse passion into the role, so it wasn't a disaster, but it wasn't what it should have been. I may hate the original show, and the song itself, but even I feel transcendent when Betty Buckley hits that key change. That didn't happen here, and it was almost a little horrifying. Still, far from the worst vocal miss I've heard all year (looking at you...Lempicka...)

At the end of the day, it should be seen for the risky theatremaking feat alone. I've seen queer people singing its praises from Battery Park to Washington Heights, so it's got an audience. And as history shows, Cats doesn't need to be good to be commercially great.

Verdict: ALW Memorial Landfill

A Note on Ratings

You still can't gaslight me into liking an ALW show.

[thequiver]

1, 3 and 10 for the ask game!

How many words have you written this year?

uh too many? lmao uh - according to ao3 my word count for this year is 117,806 (so far, I'm hopefully publishing the last chapter of In the Lost Myth of True Love before the year is out)

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)?

oh man this is so hard, I wrote a lot of fics I'm really proud of for different reasons this year

I'm obviously pretty fucking obsessed with In the Lost Myth of True Love, and I'm so proud of how I've been handling all of the different plot points and the character developments that are happening off page, and I am SO EXCITED to post the big ending because I know I've wrapped it up perfectly for all the themes I wanted to address. I'm also really pleased with how I've adapted certain aspects of X-Men lore to fit the medieval mythological landscape of the AU.

And the Past was Present is still incomplete but I'm SO proud of all of the historical research I've done for it and how I'm adapting that research to fit a silly X-Men fic about a Victorian Era lesbian. Irene is such a fascinating character to explore, and I love being able to use my specialties in history of medicine and German studies to be able to more solidly bring her early (pre-Raven) years to life

Schmactend Nach Dir is another favorite- it's possibly the first real DaKurt fic I've written but has kind of kickstarted a few other WIPs that are also based on my love of German literature. This one is also special to me because it was inspired by my boyfriend (a non-German speaker) buying me a copy of Goethe's Faust auf Deutsch.

If I'd Loved Him was SO HARD TO WRITE. Anyone who knows me knows that I have a DEEPLY complicated relationship with the character of Moira MacTaggert. I did a lot of work with Moira as a character in this fic, and specifically in focusing on how she came to do the horrible things that she did and why she'd still be seen as and consider herself a victim in all of it.

I'm Sorry, My Love was super fun to write not just because I spend my days praying that Ruth Aldine breaks up with David Haller on page, but because it's been a while since I practiced rewriting a scene from another character's POV and it was also the first Ruth POV I'd ever written which felt insane because I'm obsessed with her.

10. What work was the quickest to write?

"I only see her as a friend" (the biggest lie I ever said) for sure, it's not only the shortest one but I remember sitting down to write the whole thing in one sitting lol

[gust-jar-simulator]

I have written too many posts referencing goth Vio and not enough posts actually describing goth Vio. I should fix this.

I need everyone to know that Red is really supportive the entire time, drags Blue into it, and Blue and Vio 100% do the lesbians-doing-their-makeup straddle pose thing at least once. Blue is the best at eyeliner and he is personally offended if one of his counterparts has uneven wings when he is Right There and could have just done it in the first place.

Eyeliner is not a common makeup practice in Hyrule, it is extremely Gerudo, so we’re off to a great start actually. While the mines we know about in-game are mostly connected to Mt. Crenel, volcanoes in general, etc, given the blatant Egyptian references with the Gerudo (pyramids) as well as the general theme of making them Pretty Ladies, they deserve to have makeup and the mineral resources for it.

(I have vague thoughts about the Goddess of the Sands as a kind of Hathor/Sekhmet figure, but that’s irrelevant here)

I tend to base a lot of fashion and culture ideas in the Minish Cap era on Scotland/Ireland/Wales, though I think the climate in that version of Hyrule is a lot warmer considering the proximity of Mt. Crenel and the Desert of Doubt, so maybe a bit more like Galicia in Spain? I’m getting sidetracked.

When I think about dressing Vio, I tend to automatically fall back on archers and archery garb throughout history. Archers were an insane tactical advantage, particularly on horseback, so pants would be my go-to. Heeled boots were also useful to give you an advantage when standing in the stirrups, actually. Overall the boys seem to hoof it everywhere, pardon the pun, but in places like France heels were adopted so nobles could be a little taller than everyone else. In Ancient Greece they were used to denote the most important actors on a stage.

I’m getting sidetracked again. Point is, Vio in heels would be fun, but to be honest I could see Legend wearing them more often. Sometimes Time. And Twilight. That’s what cowboy boots are, you know.

Back on topic, Vio has the advantage of being able to make his own jewelry. Drawing wire in particular takes a kind of focus Blue may or may not have, and that’s not even getting into the detail work. Plus, as evidenced by BOTW, it’s good for enchantments. Considering Vio’s fanon fixation on dark magic, I could definitely see him experimenting with earrings that shield you from sunlight, or light magic in general, for whenever he finally resurrects his boyfriend. Vio quickly starts becoming extremely pale after that because he keeps forgetting to take the earrings off (they’re dark and cold and feel a little familiar, he doesn’t want to).

In that same vein of thought, I am genuinely not sure if whatever his body is made of can take tattoos, or how it would work when they recombine, but if you’re going to research necromancy you might as well tattoo ancient and ominous runes on yourself the same way you inscribe them into jewelry. Why augment items when you can augment yourself? They’d have to be carefully chosen and very carefully done, mathematically precise, but Vio’s up to the research necessary to make his own body into a conduit for dark magic. Considering the major sources of darkness in LOZ are the Gerudo and the Sheikah (and the Twili who might be both), the aesthetic is probably unmatched too.

I definitely think he’s got a little ruler tattooed on his finger specifically to make sure he gets his summoning circles right.

Depending on how you want to write the rules of necromancy his clothes could go a few ways, but I’ve been rolling around the Egyptian idea of no materials from the dead. No leather boots, for example, because you don’t want to offend the spirits by bringing the unclean presence of death before them, etc. If we want to get really wild with it, I would love to play with the idea of Vio doing some magic experiments buck naked just to remove that variable altogether. There are a few reasons to do something like that- respectfully showing you’re of lower status than whatever you’re summoning, an attempt to be more in tune with the nature around you, so on. There is some comedy potential for Green walking into the basement, seeing Vio naked and covered in runes, and walking right back out.

While the Era of Light probably doesn’t have a convenient goth scene or even a decently moody bar, I feel like I would be doing a disservice to the subculture if I didn’t mention music. Music is a massive part of the Legend of Zelda experience, and an argument could be made that raw magic- and the ancient language of the gods themselves- might be music. In English, the words incant and enchant both have their roots in the Latin incantare, “to sing”. In Skyward Sword, Fi sings, and both of the sword spirits seem to dance to channel magic. Don’t get me started on Ocarina of Time.

As such, no decent aspiring necromancer worth their salt could neglect the possibility that an understanding of music, particularly funerary songs and the like, might help in resurrecting a dead boyfriend. If there is a spiritual aspect to burial, surely there is an equal and opposite spiritual aspect to unburial. Given how I tend to utilize Gaelic mythology when I think about Minish Cap, there’s topics like the banshee caoine to consider. I wouldn’t be surprised if the Gerudo had professional mourners. Vio is 100% experimenting with the technical side of writing music for ritual purposes and simultaneously writing little heartfelt pieces to go with the grief-filled love poems in the back of his journal that no one gets to read.

That’s all I have for now, but there will be more.

[marcilled]

According to the votes on that poll, at least 70% of you want to hear about my FFXIV ocs (meanwhile, only 12% think i should sleep. so i'm awake still, typing this.) I'll ramble about them under the cut, but for the ~7% that said they don't know what ffxiv is, I ended up rambling quite a bit about what ffxiv even is, and why I personally enjoy it/what i recommend for anyone who's interested in it. (I made it easy to skip over if you don't care to read about that, though)

Gonna put this under a readmore since it got really long;

Cassern Qestir! my main girlie. she/it pronouns. lesbian .

she's the warrior of light. if you don't know what that means; it's the protagonist. if you still need more context:

(skip to the blue text if you don't want to read me explain ffxiv and why i think it's worth playing, i didn't expect to ramble this much about it...)

Final Fantasy XIV is a MMORPG by Square Enix. Most other final fantasy games aren't MMOs, but this one is. That means it's a multiplayer game with RPG elements. It's also heavily story-driven. While you might hear people complain about the story at times- and I'd be one of them- it manages to really leave an impression in spite of any contrivances, awkward writing, or plotholes. That's due to the fact that the player character is... well, whoever you want them to be.

Your WoL (Warrior of Light), the player character, is the protagonist of the story. And it really must be emphasized... They are so, so fully the protagonist, it's hard for other protagonists to even compare to the protagonist energy the warrior of light has. That might seem... dull or uninteresting to some, but eh, it's not like you can please everyone- the point is for you to get into character, and if that doesn't interest you, then hopefully the other characters in the story will. Personally I love this aspect- I've made the WoL my own oc with a really, really detailed backstory. Which brings me to my next point;

The Worldbuilding... The worldbuilding is probably the strongest point of ffxiv, aside from the STELLAR soundtrack it boasts. The worldbuilding is incredibly detailed, and is there to encourage roleplaying, as well as to help the plot along (tho, really, it works best as a means to encourage roleplay). I suppose I should be more specific here; it's the setting that's really the key point here- the world, the cities, each and every river and valley... But also the time period, the history, etc etc etc... There's a lot of material to work with, and I suppose you'll just have to believe me that it's really quite in-depth (if you're interested in that depth! totally fine not to engage with it, too.)

All of this isn't... going to grab or interest everyone, certainly, but eh, I've accepted that at this point lol. Don't force yourself to keep playing it if it isn't grabbing you, but for me, I started playing it for the social aspect- doing something in the game with friends, socializing in the game, making new friends through it... it's been great for that. What I didn't expect is how much the story would grab me.

FFXIV's story is very slow to start, but gradually builds on the humble roots of your adventurer until you're literally saving the entire universe. It's very, very gradual, and this slow pace might turn people off as well. Especially if you hear people say "it really gets good at heavensward!" "shadowbringers is unforgetable!" "just wait til next expansion--" these sorts of things are common to hear, but it's the same as touting that a game gets good "after the first 20 hours of gameplay", it's poison. Just try it out and see how you feel about how it plays. If the style of doing quests is interesting to you, if the combat feels engaging or shallow. etc. hey wait this was supposed to be about my ocs. ok i'll finish talking about the story and then get back to my ocs.

Anyhow. The story is really shallow at first, it's true. Even within the whole base game itself, (A Realm Reborn, aka 2.0), it can be a bit dull and contrived, and boy oh boy is the voice acting completely awful... It's rough around the edges. But if you're like me, you can really appreciate a series that starts out rough around the edges, and slowly evolves over time from humble beginnings into an epic tale that really blows away your expectations... It's about growing with the narrative, to me. If that sounds interesting to you, maybe you'll like it. I certainly did. In fact, ffxiv might be like... top 10 games to me, in terms of how its story affected me personally. Particularly the shadowbringers and endwalker expansions. But you can't skip all the way there, either- the context of everything that happened before it is crucial to understanding where you're at once you get to those expansions. The more you skip, the more lost you'll likely be. Take your time. Don't rush. And ignore anyone who tells you "it gets really good at (x) part!!!", it's a great way to set yourself up for disappointment if you end up not personally connecting with a certain plotline or character moment. I think, the thing that makes ffxiv really special... is.. it's YOUR story. The story of you- your warrior of light. And the parts that are going to connect for YOU, and for your warrior of light, are not necessarily the same as what connects for anyone else. You may end up loving the slow, humble beginnings of ARR, and feel alienated by all the saving-the-world stuff that comes later. Who knows! It's what you make of it. That's kind of the beauty of it. Now, I could talk all day about how I personally connected to shadowbringers and endwalker, (and some smaller moments, scenes, & questlines from earlier in the game), but you didn't come here for all this, you came here to read about my ocs. SORRY.

I'm done talking about FFXIV as a game now. It's time to ramble about my OCs.

FFXIV is really great for making OCs, if you like its setting. Square Enix doesn't like when you talk about it, but there's a pretty big modding scene that lets you customize your characters way beyond what the vanilla game allows for. This is often used for horny purposes, but more interesting to me personally is the gender euphoria I get from seeing my own body reflected in my own character. I gave Cassern wider shoulders, made her taller than any other au ra woman can be in vanilla, and gave her the horns that are typically only on male character models. She is so transgender. i love cassern.

Cassern Qestir is the warrior of light, meaning she's the protagonist that goes on to save everyone and everything. But at the start of her story, she's a budding new adventurer, completely new to Eorzea- her home is far to the east, in the Azim Steppe, where most Xaela Au Ra hail from. It started out casting spells, but picked up ninjitsu along the way, and quickly became one of the most skilled shinobi there is.

(she kills fascists lol)

she's also pretty socially awkward, in spite of her unparalleled combat capabilities... it lacked a lot of confidence early on in the story, too, but over time it got a lot of character development, and gained confidence. my little beepo. i have a lot of photos of it, but I don't want to make this TOO long... plus, it's difficult to give a spoiler-free overview of her character that's still approachable to people that don't know anything about the game. I suppose I could talk about her backstory, because most of my writing for her actually happens before the main game... but, eh, I'd still need to introduce a lot of settings and topics that wouldn't make sense if you haven't played before. tricky to do. maybe I'll attempt that one of these days. Anyhow... onto my next oc...

This is Samga Mol! they/them. bi.

Samga is a touchy, standoffish Xaela dragoon. (Dragoon means they fight with a lance- it's one of the many jobs in the game, like Ninja is. I'd need another long tangent to explain that in full.) Samga was actually close friends with Cassern in their youth, having also grown up on the Azim Steppe- but the two of them haven't spoken in years... I wonder what happened between them?

They're very edgy, as dragoons often are- but they also have a softer, gentler side that they don't often let show... They also get grumpy if you say they're cute. (Which is just even cuter, by the way.) They actually have a soft spot for animals, particularly chocobos.

But shhh, don't tell anyone you saw them like this... they have a reputation to uphold, you know. Tough, menacing dragoon that kills in the name of dragonkind and all that. Most feared heretic in all of Ishgard, strikes fear into the hearts of the temple knights... Wait, weren't they from the Azim Steppe? How did that happen?? Hmm, I wonder...

---

I have a lot more OCs, but most of them don't have cohesive designs and intricate backstories like Cassern and Samga do- and more often than not, mostly exist just to add more depth to the story between the two of them. There's a few others I have, like this mad scientist catgirl named Dr. Frankie. I'm still working on her. She's completely unrelated to Cassern and Samga's story;

stay tuned if you enjoy morally dubious scientist women with an ephemeral grasp on social etiquette. i'm already obsessed with this little freak, i just need to develop her a bit more before i start showing her off all the time. she also has an ... "assistant" that i'm excited to design. more on that later.

Anyhow, this was a really, really brief overview of my ocs, and I have SO many more thoughts on them, that I post about with much more frequency over on @azimsteppe ... when I remember to... (I usually use twitter for ffxiv stuff, but I'm sure you're all familiar with how that website is faring these days...) just be aware that there are spoilers on that blog, and although i try to tag them, you'll likely run into some spoilery stuff if you browse there long enough.

please let me know what you think!! it always makes me happy hearing what people think of my ocs and what interests them about them... :] and!! big thank you for reading all of this!! it was a lot of fun just to ramble lol, my ocs mean a lot to me. so i'm glad it interests at least some of you. take care!!

[clay-cuttlefish]

Finishing off every Question comic with Bombshells. I procrastinated on this for a while because I don't want to be done and have a real count of how many Question comics are bad, but I can't ignore it forever.

War Stories

Renee's kind of a fusion of her late Gotham Central and post-52 self, plus some unique traits just from this universe. She's got a lot of the guilt and poorly-hidden rage, but she's Not A Cop.

She's around for a while, and isn't totally irrelevant, but mostly she's one of Kate's love interests.

She and Kate found a kid named Jason, which went exactly as well as you'd expect the Bat adopting a Jason to go, and that's the big incident that tore their relationship apart.

Like a lot of the characters her personality's a little shaky, wobbling between a distinct sharp-edged self and the generic-author-voice that everyone falls into sometimes. None of it is a full "she would not fucking say that", it's just bland.

Men Who Would Be Kings

Instead of being a noir detective, she's drawing more on adventurer archaeologist tropes.

I actually really enjoy this! It's a neat way to switch up her background while keeping some of the pulp vibes.

I don't think it'd work for a story that's closer to canon, but Bombshells is a very distinct Elseworld that reinterprets and un-legacies a ton of characters, not working in canon isn't a problem.

Also I think it's fun that all the heroes are lesbians and there's a lot of crack ship flirting. It's weird sometimes but for the most part I'm on board with the lesbian divorce polycule.

Mechanical Gods

It's a little weird to me that Renee's the Question at all, since she doesn't have any theming, costume elements, relevant backstory, or annoying cryptic dialogue.

Even when there's theme-based banter she still gets left out half the time, since the Question doesn't mesh well with everyone else's animal gimmicks.

There's a single page of Renee's guilt issues and then it turns into the BatCat soap opera.

What's Past is Prologue

Renee being called the mother of Kate's child makes me mildly unhinged, especially because Kate has picked up the Bat responsibility of having way too many love interests and is cheating on her girlfriend.

They hold hands and then disappear from the comic for the last quarter of its run to go be gay and blow up fascists in Spain, which counts as a happy ending.

Bombshells United - War Bonds

Sequel time.

Renee gets a lot more focus in this arc than in all of Bombshells, and this arc is mostly a take on the Black Adam plot from 52, which is a neat bit of spotlight.

The writing, especially the dialogue, is. Well. I am lying to myself about it being alright because the batshit ways it riffs on various canon stories are stuck in my brain a little, but it's pretty bad.

Absolute galaxy brain shit to put the inevitable Jason Resurrection Angst into the 52 plot. Sure, I have reservations about how maternally Kate and Renee are written, but "what if instead of Under the Red Hood we just made Kate and Renee really sad" is such a power move I don't actually care.

Seriously it's such a flex to bring back Jason only to have him walk back into the afterlife with a minor character from a decade-old event. No Bat-importance for him.

I don't think Bombshells is a particularly deep take on Renee, but there's a real attempt to use her character history beyond being a cop, she gets new angles and unique elements, it tries. That means a lot when Renee has 98 non-canon-or-DCAU comic appearances, maybe a dozen of them are doing anything with her, and the best actual take on her as the Question is still Scooby-Doo.

[peachpitband]

Ok including a TLDR because I wrote a lot but figured out a succinct way to sum it all up:

TLDR; Why are people so intent on re-stigmatizing terms that the LGBT community had, until relatively recently, worked to destigmatize and reclaim???

Anywhere here’s my more complicated feelings on the bullshit:

1) “Stupid?” Why am I not surprised that you start off by making an unsupported character attack (Only to find it funny that I would make an assumption at the end of the post… Whatever, guess I should’ve expected that total lack of self awareness)

2) I try not to “invalidate” trigger tagging… to a certain extent. I understand people who have an honest to god trigger related to a slur… and if people were to ask me about that stuff, I would tag it. People in online spaces also have the choice to just… unfollow people that post stuff they don’t want to see? I just feel like it’s a valid yet somewhat over-exaggerated issue that, despite being a widely online phenomenon, has leaked out into irl queer spaces in the form of language policing and, yes, literal censorship. I have a problem with this growing push to tag reclaimed slurs as triggers just to tag stuff, without knowing how many people actually have an honest to god problem with it. These “online issues” have, at least in my experience in real life queer spaces (don’t know where you’ve been hanging out, though), been spreading and affecting real life events, queer spaces, and queer people. Which brings me to my next point:

3) I was bringing something up related, though, because the whole online culture of trigger tagging words like that does have an affect on real life queer people in that they have to censor themselves because of pressure from these largely online movements. This is not an exaggeration, it’s a reality. The queer community has worked hard to reclaim terms from bigots (if you identify as a slur, it is one step in taking the power of said slur away from homophobes. Literally every oppressed group has done this with slurs. Not gonna make examples but was hoping you could try to imagine some. Idk it just feels so naive to me to reduce these words to inappropriate “slurs.”)

In the last part of the 20th century, LGBT people worked HARD to widely reclaim these words and it worked! But now, people are out here trigger tagging it and it feels like we’re just spitting on all that effort! Like I hate to say this but at a certain point, especially in 18+ queer spaces, you have to accept the reality that you’re gonna run into these words. If you get past that, maybe you can even begin to imagine the idea that some people have actual relationships to these “slurs” that feel made light of when people reduce them to a dirty word. Yeah, sure, I’m a lesbian. But I primarily identify as a DYKE. I am masculine. I am hairy. I am literally a butch on testosterone. I upset men because I don’t take their shit. I know my history and love foundational loud and proud dykes like leslie feinberg and so many others. It’s a word that feels empowering because it had power against people like me, until myself and so many other queer ladies took it back and made it something so much more. Yeah, I’ll tag it if it causes someone serious discomfort… but those people also need to understand that the act of trigger tagging something that you are is like having to take part in the reduction of your own identity. It might not seem that deep, but like how else do I explain that this “harmless” push to guilt trip everyone into tagging these ~scary~ words has LITERALLY leaked out into the real world. Like I literally just sat with two 70-something lesbian activists last week that talked about this and said that they don’t understand where this is coming from… and these are the ladies that were around before these terms were widely reclaimed in the first place! Ugh!

L + you rely on ad hominem + you focus on semantics rather than substance and argument + here’s two of my fav books from the lesbian archive I work at ❤️❤️

Also included an excerpt from a post I came across that supports the idea that, until the later 2000s, these words were widely accepted in the community until this pretty recent push to restigmatize them!?!?

@peachpitband yeah but that's not what that post said was it... So you were just bringing up something unrelated and looking stupid for it. Lol. Like I was talking specifically about the tagging issue so yeah, it is an online issue. Particularly since the issue at hand is not censoring but trigger tagging which is different.

Very funny to assume I don't hang out in offline LGBT spaces or whatever though.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Ending the Year FINE & simple

Dec 2022 Wk 4

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying the most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Never Let Me Go (Tues YT) 3 of 12 - Butler Dad (v.2) is going to be a problem, I can tell. Chimon is a cute, if suspicious, flirt. Palm, on the other hand, is the gentlest flirt imaginable. He wants spoiled prince + attack dog dynamic so bad. As, indeed, do I. 

Between Us (Sun iQIYI) 8 of 12 - still enjoying it very much, annoyed by filler couples, WATCH ALONG HERE.

609 Bedtime Story (Fri WeTV) 6 of 11 - Oh, I see! The Mint storyline is to give more characters motivation to murder Dew. It’s all set up. How clumsy. Meanwhile, we got a confession right on schedule, classic romance beats. 

I Will Knock You (Fri Gaga) 7 of 12 - Whatever. 

Remember Me (Sun Gaga) 12 of 14 - Honestly? I’d DNF this show but its almost done and I've watched 12 already. Sunk cost fallacy in action. I’m not going to make this mistake with this production house again. JaFirst cry well, but I’m vetting and binging these in future.  

My School President (Fri YT) 5 of 10 - no ep this week, resumes Jan 6

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

The New Employee (Korea Weds Viki) 2 of 8 - It’s giving me life, this one. Pining boss. Drunk lesbian bestie of awesome. Plus gay player (former college heartthrob) is a fun background for the faen fatal, not to mention rainbow rice cakes. COME ON. RAINBOW RICE CAKES! 

HIStory 5: Love in the Future (Taiwan Thurs Viki) 1 of 20 - A cheerful kid from 1999 travels to 2022, works as a deliveryman, and meets an heir with a domineering personality. Directed by Nancy Chen (HIStory 4, Papa & Daddy). The time travel premise is interesting, the leads are giving me whipping boy vibes, but I don’t like seme’s stalker energy. It feels very HIStory franchise which means it could go any direction but sensible and I’m expecting problematic tropes. However! The sides are GREAT - they’re an office romance boss/intern relationship. And this is 20 full episodes so we will get plenty of them. Also, is that Taiwan I see giving us a femme character? I am all amazement. I think I like this show, actually. (Note; will be referring to this as H5 going forward.) 

The Director Who Buys Me Dinner (Korea Thurs iQIYI) 5-6 of 10 - Is there a not very small part of me that wishes this were a love story between the earnest assistant baby boi, and the older anxiety-riddled rockstar? Yes. Although I did not expect Korea to go there with the lipstick mark AND an actually gay idol. What alternate reality are we currently living in? Also, is every character in this show slightly insane? Yes. Is every actor in this show slightly too pretty for my emotional well-being? Also, yes. Bring it on 2023. 

Candy Color Paradox AKA Ameiro Paradox (Japan Fri Gaga) 3 of 8 - I think I just don’t like the photographer character much (although he’s very typically Japanese tsundere seme). Really quite a good kiss though, for Japan. On the flip side, it was nice to see the reporter being good at his job (competency porn is a very underused trope in BL). Then we get confession, immediate retraction, and a disbelief counter attack. Then more kisses. Huh. This isn’t progressing how I expect. And that’s kinda nice too. Oh Japan, you so cute & trixie. 

It’s Airing But I’m Not Watching It

Love Bill (Vietnam Sat YT) - Bah Vinh is back but I’m too distracted. Also there’s a lot of fund raising stuff going on with them. I’ll wait and binge.

The Star Always Follow You (Vietnam YT) - same Team RL peeps we have seen before (Sunshine, Stupid)

Till the World Ends (Thai YT) 10 eps - it seems to be good but I don’t know about the ending with that kind of title, so I’m waiting.

Moonlight Chicken GMMTV’s Midnight series (Weds YT) 1 of 8 eventually - first segment has begun bit it’s not the EarthMix messy gays. Sorry all, I’m so not interested in messy hets, so I’m waiting until they grace my screen.

In Case You Missed It

Coffee Melody special feat TitNuea & Jean like it’s counterpart was rather dull, but I find this a more appealing couple than the mains so I liked it better. 

Moments Of Love - featuring SmartJames AKA LeonPhob from Don't Say No) from Foremorfilm Production supposedly aired Dec 24 directed by Golf Tanwarin (609 Bedtime Story and The Eclipse). But it has no rating on MDL so I guess not? 

Next Week Looks Like This:

2023 forthcoming BL master post is in the works... wait for it... I’m doing all the 2022 wrap ups first. Also waiting for the last of the studio announcements. 

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Mujigae-tteok (Korean rainbow rice cake) - a new item has entered my never ending food quest list. 

OhmFluke do domesticity well, gotta give them that. 

Quick end of year thoughts on 2022 BL & the future of these weekly posts: 

Honestly? Overall it’s been a fine year for BL with some good shows & and some ho shows, and also a lot of dross. But the most notable aspect was the overwhelming quantity to keep up with. My work world is opening back up with tons of travel. This plus my recent revelation that I actually prefer binge watching (especially the lower quality stuff) means that I can’t keep up with BL if it keeps up this insane pace. 

So in 2023 you can expect me to try to keep these weeklies updated with what’s airing, of course, but also pull back on how many I personally watch and summate. 

In 2022, BL sort of became my 2nd job, and it doesn't pay well enough for that.

All that said I think... 

2023 is going to be GOOD for BL. Happy new year! 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? I’ve been in a “beastly” mood recently so it’s Lee Gikwang’s (Beast, Highlight) Don’t Close Your Eyes. I forgot how fucking banging that opening rift is. Thank you Kpop gods for putting the 2nd gens through the ever eternal slut phase. 

Now just put them all though a BL phase and we’re golden. Yes, I am thinking of Unintentional Love Story (Gongchan B1A4), why do you ask? 

[diejager]

My well-kept secret

Ningguang

Tags: fluff, loving and tired Ningguang, gotta love lesbian relationships.

Warning: not proofread.

A lady known for her success, known for her riches, known for her unparalleled business and her beautiful looks. However, it was scarcely known that she had a lover, whether they were a man or a woman, such details weren't disclosed to the public. Her secretaries - Baishi, Baiwen and Baixiao - were known figures, Ganyu, a half-qilin Adeptus - similar to a famous legal advisor- and Keqing, the Yuheng of the Liyue Qixing and (Name), her assistant, both as knowledgeable as Ningguang, as kindhearted as gentle Ganyu and as open-minded as Keqing.

If people thought that her legendary blueprints and papers, her pots and accessories were a goldmine, then her most well-kept secrets would value millions upon millions of mora, no? However much such a simple name could cost, it had no utility if their said name were muttered once in relation to Ningguang's love life, or even spoken of.

Seated behind a paper-stacked desk, her lush, white hair and flawless face hardly peeked through the big stacks of contracts and reports. Although it was taxing to her mental and physical energy and sleep, they gave her solace, knowing that her hard work and her efforts were coming into fruition every day, even after having taken the seat of Liyue Qixing years ago. Her schedule was often the same too, repetitive and boring, with the minuscule additives of meetings and dinners to entertaining her paying guests. She, by far, valued the protection of her wealth and her beloved city more than herself - such determination shone through the ages, from her youth to her adulthood.

Though you admired her for that, you couldn't help yourself from being outwardly worried for her, knowing her from before both of you ascended to your current seat. That's why, as her assistant, you meticulously worked things that she was too busy to touch or look after: the search for a certain ginger? Check it off. Arresting the treasure hunters that have continuously looted a poor city on the outskirts of Liyue? Done. Investigating the sudden disappearance of a merchant family? History. Whatever you deemed too troublesome for Ningguang, you took off with it, finishing the assignment for your beloved Qixing.

So when the famous Traveller from Monds came by, asking for Ningguang's assistance in something, you knew it must be important -from his reputation - but you wanted to give him a few options since waiting might make him lose useful time.

"Evening, Traveller," you bowed lightly, acknowledging him for his high reputation. "Ningguang's currently in a meeting, would you like to wait until she's done or would it be possible for me to help you instead?"

Coming without notice, he knew it was an inconvenience, but to such extent that the Qixing was in a meeting, he felt bad and short in time. Eyes wide with shock, he shook his head while Paimon whined about coming here for nothing at all. You couldn't help smiling fondly at the duo's dynamic, it was often quite funny how they worked well, yet horribly together.

"Would it be fine if you helped us instead?" Aether asked sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. "If it's fine! I know you have a lot of work with being her personal assistant-!"

"No worries, I did give you the option of my help before, no?" you chuckled, placing down the document you were holding on your desk. "So, tell me, dear Traveller, what has brought you to the Qixing's Jade Chamber's?"

Scratching his cheek shyly, he tilted his head embarrassingly, cheeks turning red. You giggled at his adorably shy display, who knew the saviour of Liyue and Honorary Knight would be *this* humbly shy - well, you and a few people who've worked with him have though.

"Yes, if you would."

Motioning him to sit down, you asked one of the secretaries to bring tea for your honoured guest.

"Now then, tell me what, what can I do for you?"

***

Returning to the chambers in the dead of night, you stumbled through the entrance and fell into open arms, the soft, yet firm embrace of the Qixing. Her taller frame held you tightly, safety and comfort exhuming from her once she had you in her arms. Sighing, her hands wandered down your arms to hold your calloused hands, fingers lacing with yours to hold onto them.

"Where were you, (Name)?" she asked, voice small and worried.

You felt bad for not leaving her a note about leaving with the Traveller this late evening, you added another thing to her workload. What a poorly made plan you had...

"I was out, helping our honoured guest, Ningguang," you returned her gesture, face nuzzled into her neck to comfort her. "Forgive me, I forgot to leave you a note or warn the secretaries."

She hummed, pulling you ever so closer to her, arms linking behind you as you did the same.

"You worried me, (Name)," she started, her chin laying on your head, she adored how you fit right in her arms, not too tall, nor too short. "I wouldn't know what to do without you, what I'd be without you, especially with how you came home. All dirty and wounded, I worry for you, (Name)."

"I know, I know," you shushed her fears, voice ever so gentle as if she'd break from the littlest tremor in your voice. "I'm fine, no? I'm back, nothing too dangerous for either of us."

"How can I not worry? You stumbled in, hair dishevelled and shaking. What was it that placed you in such a situation?"

Seeing no necessities in pursuing this conversation in the middle of the entrance's hallway, you pulled her to your shared room, readying to wash away the gunk and blood, and maybe invite her to share a bath.

She stood near the door, watching you run your hand through the warm water, preparing the tub for a relaxing shower, soapy water and all. With an inviting wave, Ningguang walked over and slid into the bathtub, joining your already naked body. Both stripped from clothes, her manicured nails rubbed circles in your head, bubbles rolling down from the shampoo she used. Her soft and nimble hands almost made you moan, she's always so caring, even when tired.

You stayed in each other's embrace, her digits gingerly running over your new wounds and old scars - from the time before you raised. Her body exhumed heat, as did yours, she was warmer and softer to you, more emotional and needier with you, more *human* and feeling than she appeared to the public. Behind closed doors, she was yours and you were hers, lovers entangled in their arms while showering, relaxing in the newly made bath to soothe your muscles and aches as your fingers intertwined with hers, forehead pressed firmly together and drowning in love and adoration.

That was Ningguang's well kept - her most important - secret, her little assistant who was her lover.

"Let's head to bed after this, Ningguang," you murmured against her supple lips.

"Yes, I think we should. Well call it a night," she kissed back, pressing her tired body to yours.

[genderkoolaid]

I've been trying to put it into words properly so I figured I should ask how you feel about it too

So there's just been something that's been bothering me about how people have taken the conversation about how in the stonewall days trans women have been in the frontlines only to be abandoned in favor of respectability politics etc and how particularly in online spaces it's been used/weaponized to just be, well, homophobic.

Like it went from a very reasonable and important conversation to just "while you f*gs have been busy being useless and dying of AIDS the transfems and lesbians did the Actual Work". Idk if you've met with this sentiment yourself but in some online queer spaces it's not uncommon to hear "cis gays did nothing for queer liberation" (while also being very much queerphobic like opposing leather daddies being at pride, go figure lmao) which is just, not true??? And I don't see how that's uplifting or helpful to anyone, also note the lack of any mention of trans men too.

I hope I'm making sense it's just been bothering me and I don't blame transfems for that because it's been mostly cis lesbians acting like this from what I've personally seen. The "supporting" of transfems seems to be an excuse to be homophobic which is very gross.

Oh yeah, I get what you mean. "Trans women built pride" is used a lot as an empty gesture of support (like, "yeah you girls did so much for queer people back in the day thanks!!" without actually doing anything to support transfems who are suffering Right Now. idk if there's a "strong trans woman" stereotype but it feels like it's starting to come about in leftist spaces, but thats a whole separate conversation) and that's gotten picked up the TIRFs to be like "men did NOTHING in queer history and it was all the women and femmes (a group which somehow does not include men) who did the hard work!!" Like... acting as though gay men are just passive observers in gay history, that we haven't done anything "real" for queer history. It also erases transfems who might've also been gay men.

And I don't think the origins of this are bad; there is a very real reason to be loud about the part trans people and queer women played in queer history, because there has been a lot of erasure. But, y'know, radfem misandry is like glitter. It gets all over everything.

There's also the fact that trans men & nonbinary/genderqueer people are almost always erased from this. I don't think we should talk about trans women's part in queer history less, but it's... interesting to me that people never bring up transmasc and GQ people, even though I don't think a lot of folks (especially queer kids) could name a major transmasc figure in modern queer history. I hardly ever see people talking about how Lou Sullivan is the reason that LGB trans people can medically transition, about how he was the first publicly out gay trans men- a major feat, and yet I pretty much only see other trans men talking about him. I've noticed that, at least on tumblr, lesbian/sapphic history tends to have a lot more discussion around it than gay men/achillean history. People view it as less meaningful, less radical, and that's 10000% a radfem concept (I've literally seen a radfem claim that gay men in history basically faced 0 oppression, because they could stay bachelors or just get married and still have relative freedom, which.... is just so insane and coldhearted).