#as soon as i was in the shower. instant relief
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garlic-sauc3 · 1 year ago
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man. hot showers and heating pads really are a miracle cure.
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supportgaza · 4 months ago
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Dear, free world: Apathy No More!
Note 1: Resharing my post from my terminated Tumblr account (@mahmoudkhalafff).
Note 2: Short-term goal of 30k for evacuation has been thankfully achieved. I am consulting with the Irish Refugee Council and Doras in Ireland regarding the procedures and requirements for issuing reunification visas once the crossing is operational and my family can evacuate for Egypt. We are a big family of many brothers and sisters who have so many children. They are scattered in different areas in the Gaza Strip including the North of Gaza where they can be very hard contact sometimes.
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Many other Gazans in Limerick are working hard and reaching out to Irish politicians and MPs to facilitate a safe passage for their families out of Gaza to Ireland.
When piles and piles of people are apathetic when it comes to the genocide unfolding in Gaza, be the source of relief, hope, and support for the stranded helpless besieged people there. Astonishingly, our life in Gaza turned upside down in an instant?! We woke up one day to realize that a massive-scale war was to be launched against more than 2 million people in Gaza. My Facebook timeline was filled with countless posts in which Gazans publicly asked for forgiveness before their expected imminent mass murder. Can you imagine what it feels like reading all these scary posts and wondering if you should say a final 'Goodbye'?!
Then, Gazans ventured on their own version of Via Dolorosa (Way of Suffering) which included multiple forced displacements, acute life-threatening shortages of water and food, lost jobs, humiliation, mass destruction, injuries, and murder.
It is beyond shocking and sickening how desensitized our world has become to see all the horrifying images of children's body parts scattered everywhere and not lift a finger to stop this ruthless and inhumane genocide. I can say with all certitude on behalf of my people in Gaza that we have lost hope in all the vile desensitized regimes and politicians of the world.
However, we still have strong faith in the lovers and supporters of our just cause who never cease to shower us with their heartwarming words of support and uplifting wishes. Our belief in your humanity and support for our just cause drives us to ask you for help in this worst crisis in our history since the Nakba.
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Please do consider donating, reblogging, and sharing.
Note: Vetted by:
1. @el-shab-hussein and @nabulsi # 151 on the spreadsheet of Vetted Gaza Fundraisers List]
2. @riding-with-the-wild-hunt Here .
Tagging for reach <3
@riding-with-the-wild-hunt @ibtisams @vakarians-babe @90-ghost @sayruq @fairuzfan @sar-soor @fallahifag
@el-shab-hussein @taamarrud @humanvoicebox
@plomegranate @queerstudiesnatural @commissions4aid-international @nabulsi @stil-lindigo @soon-palestine @communistchilchuck @palestinegenocide @northgazaupdates2 @northgazaupdates @ghost-and-a-half @kyra45-helping-others @kyra45 @commissions4aid-international @feluka @appsa
@tortiefrancis @jinnazah @irhabiya @mazzikah
@stuckinapril @schoolhater @queerstudiesnatural @northgazaupdates2 @turian @ot3 @fromjannah
@neechees @brutalikhoa @khanger @malcriada
@determinate-negation @pcktknife @postanagramgenerator
@troythecatfish @commissions4aid-international 
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daddy-issues-99 · 1 year ago
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Venom x Reader Smut
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In my last poll y'all voted for a Venom fanfic and I got the message 😏
Plot: you want to shower but feel uncomfortable with Venom watching you and iykyk
Afab reader, shower sex, size kink, biting, blood, fingering, praise, a little degration, aftercare
The last few days had been pure hell. Nothing but conflict and a new roommate.
You sat curled up on your couch, knees held tight to your chest. You were so tired. You had been on alert for what seemed like days. All you wanted to do was shower and go to bed.
If only it were that simple. Everything you did was met with a deep voice inside your head. Every action, statement, movement; everything.
No way were you gonna try and shower with this thing looking at you and commenting on your every move.
You let out a sigh. You were so tired you didn't even care anymore. "Where are you going?"
"I'm talking a shower." "Finally, your thoughts were becoming annoying." This was gonna be a nightmare. You walked to the bathroom slowly discarding your clothes as you went leaving you just in your bra and panties when you got to the bathroom.
"You are a nice shape. I would rip you apart." He said as you turned on the shower. "You are such a fucking perv." You moved your hands to the hem of your panties wanting to take them off only to stand their blushing. You felt so exposed.
"Well?" He asked wondering why you just stood there. "You're making me nervous. This is to embarrassing." You said bringing your hands to cover your face.
As soon as your hands left your sides two black tendrils quickly pulled your underwear down. Before you could even react he had done the same to your bra, throwing them to the side.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" You yelled trying to cover your exposed figure.
"I am in your head. I am apart of you. I have already seen every part of your body." You just stood there baffled. "Don't be embarrassed, your look lovely. Go on, I won't judge darling."
You blushed at the comment. His voice made it even harder to remain neutral.
You carefully stepped into the shower and closed the door behind you. You let out an instant sigh of relief the minute the hot water made contact with your skin.
"You are relaxed." He stated in a matter of fact tone. "This is the most relaxed I've felt in days." You said rinsing shampoo out of your hair. "Why? You have no reason to be stressed." "I'm stressed because of you jackass!" You yelled with sarcasm in your voice.
In an instant you were pinned up against the shower wall as black tendrils fell into the floor forming a large figure with large teeth and bright white eyes. Small tendrils keeping the two of you conneced. His hand quickly went to your throat making sure you couldn't move.
"How dare you. I have given you an amazing opportunity and you insult me. You don't deserve my partnership." He said tightening his grip around your throat causing you to hold your thighs together.
He slowly looked down to see your thighs held tightly together. His face contorted into a wide smile. "Something you find amusing pet?" He asked squeezing your throat causing you to let out a small moan.
"Such a pathetic thing. Can't even answer a question." "I-Im not pathetic." You said trying to talk with his hand squeeze your airway. "Oh really? You say you hate me and yet your arousal is showing my darling." "I'm- I'm not-" "You can't hide how you truly feel. I'm a part of you. I can feel every sensation you do. Every thought that goes througg your head I see. Now tell me my darling, what do you want?"
"You."
"Good girl."
Venom leaned down to your neck leaving a trail of small bite marks just enough so it would draw blood which he happily licked up with his long tounge.
"This is going to hurt." He said before opening his jaw as wide as possible and biting your shoulder, his teeth sinking into your flesh. You screamed only for his free hand to quickly cover your mouth.
He licked up the blood and leaned back to see his work. "This mark will forever symbolize that You. Are. Mine. Do you understand?" You quickly nodded you head as a tear ran down your cheek. "Good."
With that the remaining tendrils still attached to your body quickly healed the bite leaving only the scars from his teeth.
"Please" "Please what?" He asked towering over you once more "Please touch me!" You whined.
"So desperate. I think you'll like this." With that he directed your head down to where his tendrils formed into a large cock. Your eyes widened in shock. "V, how is that gonna fit?"
"We'll just need a little extra help." His hand moved down to your clit rubbing slow painful circles. You head fell into his chest as you let out breathy moans.
"Look at you, so desperate for me. Pathetic." He let out a low laugh continuing his assault on your clit. "I-Im not-" You cried out and buried your head back in his chest, gripping his shoulders as he quickly inserted one of his large fingers inside you.
"You were saying?" He said contorting his face into a smirk. "Mm fuck you." "Oh I intend to. Or shall I stop?" He said as he began to pull away from you. "No! I-I'm sorry just please touch me!" "As you wish."
He continued his pace as he added another finger. Every thrust was pure bliss and you could feel your orgasm building. "Cum for me pet." Venom quickened his pace hitting your cervix with the tips of his fingers. You cringed thinking what his cock would do.
The knot in your stomach finally came undone with Venom thrusting in and out of you as fast as he could letting you ride out your high.
You opened your mouth letting out a loud moan only to be silenced when a long tounge filled your mouth,going down your throat giving you a makeshift kiss triggering your gag reflex.
"You did wonderful my pet. " Venom pulled his fingers out bringing his hand down to his cock. He rubbed your juices on his cock as a makeshift lube to try to prevent as much pain as possible.
Venom listed you by your waist as you quickly wrapped your legs around his torso holding yourself close to him. He pushed you back up against the shower aligning his cock between your folds rubbing the tip at your entrance.
You let out a whimper. "Don't worry. You will be okay. If it's to much you can bite down on my shoulder." With that he slowly began to lower you down onto his cock. You screamed instantly biting down onto his shoulder trying to silence your screams. Venom didn't even respond.
He stopped when you had taken in as much as you could, still leaving some of his cock exposed. "Your so tight. Smaller than I thought." You didn't respond. Venom pressed you harder up against the wall and brought a hand up to brush through your hair. "You will be okay my darling."
He intertwined his hand in your hair slowly pulling your head back to look up at him. A tear ran down your cheek which he gently brushed off with his thumb. "Don't worry. If you need me to stop I will." He brought his forehead to rest against yours as you adjusted to his size.
After a moment you gave a small nod indicating that he could move. His thrusts were slow, only moving a few inches. At first it was painful but after a while it became pleasurable. You whined and buried your have in the crook of his neck.
He continued his thrusts slowly quickening his pace pushing himself as far in as he could. You quickly became a moaning mess, whispering curses of pleasure.
"Look at you. So needy, so pathetic. I love it." He roughly thrusted into you. "Say it." He said, his teeth gritted. "I'm pathetic! I'm nothing I'm pathetic!"
"Good girl." You buried your face in his neck, hiding the blush covering your face.
Venom continued his thrusts all concerns of being gentle thrown out the window. This was pure lust. Rough, sloppy thrusts. Every one hitting your sweet spot. You rolled your hips forward giving your clit more friction.
"V, I'm close." "Cum for me, cum on my cock. Prove I'm the only being who could ever bring you this much pleasure." Your gripped his shoulders as he quickened his thrusts, holding onto your hips tight enough to leave a bruise.
The knot in your stomach came undone. You screamed in pure pleasure as Venom continued his pace allowing you to ride out your high. Venom soon followed coating your walls with ropes of cum.
Venom pulled out of you setting you back down on your feet. You fell limp and Venom quickly wrapped his arms around you as you rested your head against his chest.
Venom shifted you so the shower watter was hitting your back. He grabbed the washcloth and some soap and began to gently wipe away the thin layer of sweat that had formed. He continued cleaning you off making sure to get every part of you and carefully rinced you off.
He turned off the focet and picked you up bridal style resting you on your sink. He grabbed a towel and wrapped in around you drying you off. He wrapped the towel around you and grabbed a hairbrush, slowly brushing your hair sending shivers down your spine.
You rested your head against his chest lazily trying to keep you eyes open. Venom gently caressed your hair whispering sweet nothings.
He picked you up, holding you close to his chest as you absentmindedly played with the hem of the towel. He gently placed you down on the bed giving you one final kiss as he slowly absorbed back into your body.
"I love you V." "I love you to my darling." With that a tendil quickly formed from your hip and pulled the blanket over you as you drifted off to sleep.
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astraystayyh · 6 months ago
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sounds of hyunjin.
in which hyunjin comes home to you after a long day. very fluffy and soft (everyone pls act surprised) and how i missed writing for hyune;;; (blue silk shirt hyunjin makes a fleeting appearance i couldnt help myself)
this is dedicated to @hyunverse because she matches my hyunjin freak! and GO WISH HER A HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love you angel :p
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It’s a few minutes past midnight when Hyunjin finally returns home to you. For the past two hours, you’ve been in bed, your head buried in your book of the month. But as you hear the distinctive jingle of Hyunjin’s keys, the words on the pages blur and fade. Your heart forgets the names of the characters you’ve been reading about, leaving only two syllables lingering at the edge of your thoughts—Hyunjin.
“Angel,” he whispers as soon as his eyes land on you, his voice barely audible. There’s a palpable relief in his tone, one you recognize instantly. Perhaps you have memorized the different shades of his voice more intimately than your own.
“My love,” you reply, and you know he catches the possessiveness in this specific nickname. Outside, he’s everyone’s to admire and adore, but here, in the sanctuary of your bedroom, he’s only yours—to gaze upon, to hold and to love.
He doesn’t leave you time to fully admire his silky blue shirt and how it contrasts perfectly against his honey-dipped skin. Instead, he’s quick to lay beside you, his head nestled in the crook of your neck, his ponytail tickling your bare skin. He smells of roses and faint, familiar hints of your shampoo.
“I missed you,” he mumbles, his breath rippling across your skin like stones skipping on a river. You tighten your hold on his body, closer, not close enough. Never close enough.
“I missed you more,” you say, and a sigh long caged in your heart finally escapes at his proximity. Hyunjin’s absence always feels like a heavyweight atop your soul, bricks upon bricks that he can dispel with just one sight of his star-laden eyes.
“How was your day?” he asks, his chin settling on your chest. You smile softly, gently unraveling his ponytail as you reply, “It was nice. I finally had time to read my book. What about you?”
“It was good,” he grins, his smile widening as he adds, “It’s better now that I’m here with you.” His familiar crescent eyes unfurl like full blooms— it’s been three years and yet the sight of his smile still makes you blush like a crimson sunset. 
You remain quiet, your fingers gently massaging his scalp, trailing up and down the nape of his neck. He relaxes fully in your hold, eyes closed, cheek pressed against your stomach. A lump forms in your throat at how safe he seems in your embrace, how he so willingly hands you the reins of his being.
“Baby,” you giggle faintly, “you need to get changed or you’ll end up falling asleep.”
“I don’t want to,” he shakes his head, wrapping his arms around your waist. “I feel good here.”
“You’ll feel better after a shower.”
“Only if you’re showering with me,” he grins mischievously, and you giggle, playfully bopping his nose.
“I already showered. Just go, I’ll wait for you.”
Hyunjin nods, lifting himself from above you, yet his hands linger on either side of your body, hovering like a gentle shield. “I missed you,” he whispers before his lips press softly against yours. They don’t move right away; they simply rest there, savoring the taste of one another and the sweetness that his presence infuses every instant.
Your hand finds his jaw, drawing him closer. “Missed you,” you murmur against his lips, and he smiles, pulling away slightly, his nose grazing gently against yours.
A quiet fifteen minutes unfold as you remain curled in bed, eyes closed, absorbing the sounds of Hyunjin— the water running quietly in the shower, his gentle whistling weaving through the melodies in his mind, his quiet yelp as what you assume is your shampoo falling on his feet. You trace his movements through the dim light as he emerges from the shower, a towel draped around his waist, droplets of water cascading down his v-line in a dance you’ve long memorized.
There is something profoundly intimate that curls and tightens within your heart as you simply watch him follow his nightly routine— as he applies lotion to his face, followed by his (your) favorite essence, as his fingers glide gently through his hair before he layers his black strands with his serum.
You’ve missed the serenity of witnessing Hyunjin in these moments, in his most unguarded, ordinary form, donning checkered beige pajamas that match with your own.
As soon as he’s done, he’s quick to climb into the bed, immediately bringing your body to his. There are many words lodged within your throat as you feel his heartbeat resonate within your soul— how existing with him is the joy of your life, how your house only comes alive when he’s in it.
He seems to sense your unspoken confessions as he leans back, gently tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I feel as though a piece of my soul was written in the lines of your being,” he whispers, and your breath falters in your throat. “When I’m away, I can always feel something missing, my heart pulsating with a void.” 
His thumb glides softly over your cheekbones before his warm palm cradles your face. “But when you are near, every thought in my mind quiets down. It’s like my heart recognizes you, knows you, has learned you.” 
His voice is tender, flowing like honey into your ears, wrapping you in the soothing warmth of green tea late into the night. You find peace in your love for Hyunjin, you feel safe inscribing your heart with his name. 
“I love you,” you murmur, before pressing your lips to his once more. Your mouth parts only to meet again, too eager to reunite like long-lost lovers, to taste his love for you once more. 
It’s only a few minutes past five a.m. when you both finally fall asleep.
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tinypandacakes · 3 months ago
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Trapper, Keeper — Ch. 16: Always
Tags: dubious consent, dark romance, power imbalance, gaslighting, manipulation, yandere, Stockholm syndrome, injury recovery, fluff and smut, slice of life, implied non-consensual drug use, size difference, gratuitous use of pet names, metaphors, and descriptions of König's eyes
Wc: 16k [172k total]
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When it was time for König to prepare dinner, you hovered at his elbow like a nosy housecat, tail wrapped around his calf as you signaled a need for attention. You were close enough that your hand brushed against the side of his sweatpants, and your clammy fingers instinctively gripped at the material. Eventually, he glanced over his shoulder at you, head tilting in question.
“Do you need something, Hase?”
You blinked, chastised, even though his tone was gentle. “No,” you replied, unsure. “I dunno.”
König let out a soft sigh. It was an affectionate sound, airy and light, not annoyed — otherwise, you might have burst into tears on the spot, as fragile as you felt — but like the kind of noise he might have uttered to a lamb, bleating sadly with its tiny hoof caught in a fence.
He lifted you onto the counter beside him, and you settled in, hands retreating into your too-long sleeves. Sitting there might have been awkward, but he pressed a cookbook into your lap, offering you something to do. You kept a thumb between the pages he needed and flipped through while your sock-covered feet dangled over the cabinets, lightly tapping the wood. Some of the age-yellowed pages were moisture-damaged from spills or speckled with spattered sauces. The corners were discolored from spice-dusted fingers, evidence of recipes well-loved, cooked again and again until they were committed to memory.
König tucked up his hood and brought a spoonful of sauce up to his pursed lips, blowing gently over the steaming surface. He tasted thoughtfully then licked away a stray droplet at the corner of his mouth, swiping his lips clean, leaving them soft and damp.
You realized you were staring and looked away quickly, busying yourself by flicking through to the dessert section of the cookbook. But your eyes soon drifted from the cakes and pastries back to König, hunched over the stove. His forearms flexed as he slid a pan back and forth across the flame, skin and scar shifting enticingly over muscle and bone. The swell of his pecs and softness of his belly were faintly outlined by his shirt, soft cotton clinging, offering a preview of what lay below. Something deep inside of you heated up just like the pad of butter he added to the skillet, melting and sizzling across the surface.
This was dangerous.
His hood fell back over his mouth and beard, excess fabric pooling around his shoulders. You squeezed your thighs together, subtly chasing relief. He didn’t get fully undressed before you often — or ever, had he? No, only bits and pieces here and there, other than the time you'd spied on him as he got dressed after his shower. You felt just as lecherous now as you did then, eyes drifting lower, below the waistband of his sweatpants where the curve of his ass was unmistakable through the fleece.
“See anything you like?” König asked, eyes darting to you in a sideways glance.
“Oh, I—” You jolted at his words, eyes snapping up. Your mouth dried in an instant, coherent thought evaporating just as quickly. “Sorry?”
He nodded toward the book in your hands. “The recipes,” he offered. “Did you find one you like?”
“Um, yeah,” you replied absently, realizing you were at the index now, not even on a recipe anymore. You swiped back a few pages before he noticed, landing on a carefully decorated cake. “Well. They…all sound good.” You cringed inside, sure you looked as foolish as you sounded.
“I should have known you would go right to dessert.” His eyes flicked from the page to your face. “Craving something sweet, little one?” His eyes narrowed with an unseen smile, but you could hear the mirth in his voice, a gentle tease that brought heat to life across your cheeks like stoked coals.
You stared numbly down at the cake recipe you’d landed on, then back up at him. He leaned forward, just barely invading your space. Your chin was already tilting of its own accord, eager to agree with him — yes, yes — pleasant and tame under his gaze.
“Mm,” he hummed knowingly, his eyes fixed on yours instead of the dips and swirls of chocolate icing and glossy red cherries printed on the page. He leaned closer yet, voice dropping as if he was letting you in on a secret. “That’s alright. I am too.”
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You can the entire chapter on AO3 ☺️ please consider leaving a kudos and comment if you enjoyed it. If you’d like to support my writing and fuel my caffeine habit, here’s my kofi >:3 https://ko-fi.com/tinypandacakes
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reidmotif · 1 year ago
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Not-Friends with Benefits
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Summary: Reader and Spencer have been hooking up with no strings attached just fine, until a singular bed threatens to change that.
Prompt: Reader and Spencer are JUST hooking up. Then, one bed. Forced to be more intimate by sleeping together, than actually sleeping together.
Couple: Spencer Reid/Fem!Reader
Category: Smut/Angst (Happy Ending)
Content Warning: Reader POV, friends-with-benefits, oral sex (f receiving), dirty talk, he picks her up, heavy making-out, unprotected sex, Idiots in Love
Word Count: 7.1k
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The first time I met Spencer Reid, I don’t think I really got him. 
It didn’t matter though, because in these moments where my hands are knotted in his hair and he’s pushing me up against the wall, kissing like a man starved, I understood everything about him perfectly. My hands went to wrap around his neck, pressing his body flush against mine. 
“Eager, Reid?” I ask, in between hungry kisses, a smirk lingering on my face. 
“Could say the same about you.” He replies, equally as cocky, his hands sliding to the backs of my thighs in an instant.
I yelped as he picked me up, my legs immediately wrapping around his waist. I could feel a deep kiss being pressed against my lips for my implicit understanding of the action, and registered the movement of his legs working away from the motel door that I had just been at, and towards the cheap bed in the middle of the room. He threw me down, and immediately caged me in between his arms, giving me another fervent, heated kiss. 
If you’d told me six months ago that I was not only sleeping with a coworker, but just sleeping with a coworker, I’d probably laugh in your face. If you’d added on and told me that the coworker I’d made that arrangement with was none other than Spencer Reid, I’d have probably keeled over with laughter. But here I am, being fucked in a cheap motel bed with his face buried in the crook of my shoulder, pressing wet hot kisses over the expanse of my skin. 
And fuck me, was he good at that. 
I could feel my moans reverberating around the room, as he removed himself from his place on my shoulder and placed a hand over my mouth, never once faltering with his deep, hard strokes into me. 
“Mm. Gotta stay quiet, right? Don’t want the team to know how much you like being fucked like a whore.” He taunted, looking at me with those goddamned hazel eyes that drove me insane with lust. 
I attempted to roll my eyes at him to show my displeasure at him for covering my mouth but at a particularly harder thrust than the others, they simply rolled into the back of my head and I screwed my eyes shut at the sensation, hearing him chuckling lowly at my reaction above me. 
“Like that?” He baited, and I could literally hear the smirk in his voice.
I also, however, could feel the twitch of his cock, and his impending release and simply nodded, opening my eyes and giving into his provocations. I was implicitly begging him to go faster and harder with a simple gaze, and thankfully, the genius understood. 
In a few moments, we were both unraveling in each other’s arms, Spencer’s thumb brushing over my clit to guarantee my release before his, and as soon as he caught wind of my shaking thighs and the blissful feeling of my climax around him, he shortly followed after, and I breathed a sigh of relief at the familiar warmth pooling inside my deepest point. 
He pulled out, sweaty and panting, moving to the other side of the bed and lying on his back. “You good?” He asked, as I slowly started to regain some semblance in my post-orgasmic state. 
“Mhm.” I nodded, completely fucked out. I turned over, starting to leave the bed. “I’m gonna go shower.” 
He nodded back, not questioning the lack of spoken word that was being passed between the two of us right after we’d just had sex. 
I hopped into the shitty motel shower, washing away the evidence of what we’d just done. The warm water allowed me to revel in my thoughts for a few minutes, my eyes closing as I felt the droplets hit my skin. 
Spencer and I didn’t have, by any standards, an “ideal” relationship. However, for our particular circumstances, the agreement we’d settled on worked completely fine. Pure sex, nothing else. No talking. No feelings.  Nothing that could lead to something beyond the physical pleasure we shared with each other after a long, hard day at work. 
The first time it’d happened, it was entirely unexpected behavior from the both of us. I’d come to his hotel room in search of a file I’d loaned him for the case we were working on. At this point, Spencer and I weren’t exactly what you’d call close friends, but we weren’t exactly just co-workers either. The trauma of each case presented to us and being subjected to the other for most of our time led to a strange bond of understanding and acceptance of the other. A relationship that was probably incomprehensible to outsiders, but made perfect sense to either of us.
Underneath that, however,  was an underlying tension neither of us could deny. I wasn’t dumb.  We were both young, attractive and single, and I couldn’t lie and say that I hadn’t, on occasion,  imagined his long fingers working relentlessly at my core, bringing me pleasure in a way mine couldn’t. I know he’d most likely fantasized about something in a similar context, given the way he’d stare at me just a split-second longer than he should have when I'd wear a lower-cut blouse, or a short skirt. His actions weren’t unnoticed, and it wasn’t like I didn’t want that either, but I’d always been exceedingly realistic with myself. We were both agents in the FBI, in the same unit. Besides the headaches we’d cause HR if we were to present ourselves as a couple, there were emotional boundaries we’d cross if we were to be romantically involved. Emotional boundaries I was simply uninterested in crossing at all with anyone at all, especially Spencer Reid.
That night I visited his room, it seemed (in retrospect) that both of our inhibitions were low. I watched him dig through his satchel on the floor, attempting to locate the file I’d come there for, and in a moment of weakness, I had watched those damned hands of his again. I couldn’t help it. His fingers were just so, so long. Even if he wasn’t so attractive, I think any person would be eager to have those inside them. Just from a physical standpoint, you know? When he looked up, his gaze caught me off guard and I couldn’t help but imagine how wonderful it’d feel to have him at his knees for me. He cocked an eyebrow as he rose from his position, now handing me the file. 
“You okay?” He asked, his arm stretching towards me as I went to intercept the file from him. “You look a bit.. warm.” He said, his voice quipping a bit at the last word. 
Fuck. 
“Fine, you know how these motels are.” I replied quickly, hoping to offer some logical explanation for why I was so flushed, other than the fact I’d just been imagining him fucking me. “Shitty aircon.” I added, hoping to not seem suspicious. 
My body seemed to give me away though, as when I went to meet his outstretched arm, some slip of my finger made it so the contents of the file tumbled out, leaving a mess of papers at our feet. We both instantly sunk to the floor, trying to gather them as quickly as we could. We were both bent at the knees fully focused on collecting the documents, unaware of our proximity until he handed the papers to me. I looked at his hands, then his eyes, and realized our faces were approximately five inches apart. I could see his gaze drift to my lips, then back to my eyes. 
“So, I’ll um. I’ll take the papers.”  I said, my voice almost a whisper, beginning to rise. 
“Yeah, you should.” He said, his voice restrained as we both got up together. 
As he handed the last bit of papers, his fingers brushed over mine and we both felt it. That jolt, that itch, just begging to be relieved. I looked up at him, his figure looming over me, and in an instant, something seemed to pass between us and his mouth was on mine, kissing me with overwhelming passion. I could feel my knees colliding with the foot of the bed as he guided me towards it, feeling him pushing me into the mattress. He’d asked feverishly if I’d wanted this, and I nodded eagerly. 
And that was that, and after we’d finished our act of spontaneity, still panting and breathing heavily, I could feel the regret seeping in. I’d slept with a coworker, friend .. whatever he was, I’d slept with him and couldn’t take that back. Flashes of awkward conversations came to mind, ones filled with ‘what-are-we’s’ and ‘it’s-not-you-it’s-me’ and in my anxious stupor, I blurted out, “I don’t want to be in a relationship with you.” I looked at him a little wide-eyed after my outburst, surprised at myself for saying it like that.  How stupid could I be? It was blunt, stupid, and definitely not something you said right after sex.  I waited for him to call me a cold, heartless bitch, or to yell at me to get out of his room, but to my relief, he didn’t. He agreed. 
“Wait, what?” I asked, unsure if I’d heard him right. 
“I’m not really looking for a relationship either.” He repeated, but then slowly added. “But I’d also be an idiot if I didn’t tell you that was one of the best hookups I’ve ever had.”  He looked at me, expectantly, as if I was meant to understand something from his words alone. 
I narrowed my eyes, biting my lip. “What are you saying?” 
Spencer turned to me, running a hand through his hair, made messy by my incessant pulling on it just a few minutes ago, breathing out.  “I’m saying we’re both detached and clearly want the same thing. An outlet.” He paused, and looked at me.  “And I mean, do you really want this to be a one-time thing?” He tacked on, cracking a bit of a smirk at that final remark. 
“I mean..” I started, then paused. “So, this would be just sex. No feelings on either of our ends, no ‘boyfriend-girlfriend’ stuff, just .. sex.” I asked, trying to make sure I understood his intentions perfectly. 
“Yeah.” He replied, nodding. “Just sex. I mean that.” 
 I looked at him, and something passed through us once again, but this time it wasn’t lust. It was the unstated trust that we held between each other, that neither of us was going to violate the other’s wishes, and this was truly what the both of us wanted from the other. I nodded wordlessly, agreeing, and he cracked a stupid, boyish smile. 
“Really? You’re actually agreeing to this?” He said, incredulously. 
“What, you want me to fight you on it and leave?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “You make a good point. There’s no use in denying ourselves a good time, especially if we’re so clear in what we want.” I said, reiterating what he’d said to me. 
“Alright then.” He said, nodding slowly. “In that case, and I hope you don’t take offense to this. You should probably leave my room before-” 
I was already getting off the bed, grabbing my clothes and flashing him a soft smirk to let him know that not only did I get the message, I was already planning on doing so long before he even opened his mouth. 
“Don’t worry. I know.” I said, slipping on my shorts and t-shirt that I’d previously been wearing. “There are rules to what we’re doing, and I think sleeping in the same bed would definitely violate those.” 
“Glad you understand.” Spencer replied, watching me from his place in the room. He awkwardly called out as I started to leave.  “So, uh. Take care?” 
I laughed at that. It was clear he had no idea what to say, and I opted to give him some grace in my reply.  “Yeah. Sure. You too.” I said, before cautiously approaching the door of his room, checking the hallway for any of our team members, and slipped out quietly without another word to him and into my own bed, the aforementioned file being forgotten as I fell asleep in my hotel room alone, feeling more than okay with the terms we’d come to.
We’d continued this regimen with no problem for the six months following that initial encounter. If there was one thing Reid and I excelled at (besides the sex), it was following the rules. We were careful to never cross any lines with each other. No innocent, lazy makeouts in hotel rooms, no whispering sweet nothings into each other’s ears, no longing stares or subtle brushes when we were with the team, nothing that could break the bubble between us that could lead into any possible intimacy at all. This is what we wanted, and we made that abundantly clear to each other through our actions, or more accurately, our inactions with each other. 
Our ritual, however, seemed to be put on halt when Hotch came into the lobby of the motel we were staying at for a case, addressing our team as one. 
“It looks like this place is mostly booked, so we’re going to need a few of you to double up.” Hotch announced to the team.
I internally groaned, realizing that if everyone was paired up, there was absolutely no way I was going to be able to sneak to Spencer’s room, or vice versa. Whatever. I can go a night without sex from him. Derek and Hotch were an obvious choice when it came to sharing a room. The two of them were surprisingly neat, considering they packed lightly. Emily and JJ too. They’d been friends for much longer than I’d ever even been on the team, and it didn’t surprise me that they’d choose to room together. Everyone paired off quietly, leaving Rossi, myself, and Spencer. Rossi shot a look at the two of us, and shot me a particularly apologetic one. 
“I don’t mind you all that much, but I’m drawing the line at sleeping with the kid.” Rossi said, with an air of finality in his tone, indicating he’d end up being the one to get the one solo room amongst us. 
I gave a look to Spencer, shrugging. To the rest of our team, our bond seemed as normal as it could be. I never treated him differently than I did any of them, and even in a room full of skilled profilers, I doubt any of them could sense that it didn’t even cross my mind that Spencer and I could end up sharing a room. It already felt intimate. More intimate than I wanted. We had a strict rule about not falling asleep together in the same bed after sex, and even if there were going to be separate beds in our motel room, the idea of being able to watch him sleep, hear him breathe five feet away from me triggered a strange sensation at the pit of my stomach, something I could only chalk up to a bout of nerves since I was unsure on how to navigate the situation. 
As we approached the door, the two of us were a little stiff. I could tell he was probably thinking the same thing as me. I stopped right in front of the door, turning to look at him, and realized I’d gravely misjudged the distance we’d been walking apart, as my sudden halt nearly caused him to collide with me. 
“Sorry. Sorry. I didn’t mean to catch you off guard there.” I said, quickly, placing my hands palm-up against my chest to avoid a head-on collision. He nearly tripped, but balanced himself before shooting me a confused look, wondering why we’d stopped just in front of the door. “I just..” I started to speak, and then paused, wondering how to phrase this. Meaningless hookups are what we excelled at. It was natural, it was easy- but somehow the idea of us sharing a hotel room just felt a bit .. much to me. I wanted to somehow abridge the idea of us maybe not having sex that night, but before I could even formulate my words, he interrupted me. 
“Look, (Y/N), it’s been a long day. How about we just go to bed tonight?” He said, looking right into my eyes, making the intentions behind his words incredibly clear. It’s like he’d read my mind, and I suppose in a way he had. We’d become so attuned to each other’s needs in the months we’d been having sex, a natural byproduct of how our time together was spent, and I think he could tell I was already nervous about the situation we’d found ourselves in. 
I nodded, gently. “Yeah. My thoughts exactly.” I gave him a small, reserved smile before taking my keycard and swiping it against the door. I  walked into the room, only to knit my brows in confusion at the sight laid out in front of me. 
“Aren’t there supposed to be two beds?” I asked, moving deeper into the room to look for the aforementioned second bed, instead of the singular king that stared us right in the face. 
He looked equally as confused, running a hand through his pretty curls. He instantly saw my discomfort, reading me like a book.  “Hey, look. It’s okay, I can take the floor.” He said, already starting to move away from the bed to look for a way to make a make-shift bed on the floor. 
I looked at him, rolling my eyes. “Reid, you have a bad knee. I should take the floor.” I reply, trying to get in his way, while flashing him a look of incredulousness, as if the idea of him taking the floor was absolutely ridiculous. 
He flashed me a similar look, shooting back his own response.  “Well, you can’t sleep unless it’s on a bed.” 
I looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “How do you know that?” I shot back, a bit confused how he knew that about me. He shrugged, looking at me as if it was the simplest thing to figure out. 
“You never sleep on the jet, like ever. Or the breakroom, or at your desk.” He says, looking at me. “Even if you’ve been up an unreasonable amount of time. I suspect it’s because you pretty much exclusively fall asleep in beds.” He finished off, looking a little too smug for his own good. “Am I right?”
I sigh. Profilers could be so fucking annoying sometimes. “Yeah, you are, but it isn’t a big deal.” I say, biting my lip. “We both can’t sleep on the same bed.” I reasoned, looking at him. 
He looks at me, rubbing the back of his neck. “I mean..”
I immediately shook my head, crossing my arms. “Spencer, no.” 
He takes a breath. “We’re not having sex tonight.” He points out, reminding us that we weren’t technically breaking any of our rules by sleeping in the same bed tonight. “And we both know each other well. We’re both too stubborn to let the other sleep on the floor.” 
I pondered his words, knowing he was right. And his reasoning was sound too. And God, it was late and I could feel myself already drifting towards the king-sized bed that beckoned me towards it. 
“It is a big bed..” I reasoned out loud. 
“Exactly.” He said, nodding. He yawned, and the exhaustion was clear as day. “It’s been a long day and I’m ready to just crash, aren’t you?”  His voice clearly marked with the same tiredness I was feeling at that moment. 
I nod, already moving to my go-bag to change into something more comfortable. I suppose this was one perk of sleeping with Spencer Reid, I really didn’t  care if he saw me changing. The man had gone down on me more times I could count, I think the sight of my bra was probably one of the more tame things we’d end up sharing between us. He was about the same, unbuttoning his dress shirt in favor of a plain cotton t-shirt with no regard for what I’d see whilst he changed. We both naturally went to our own respective sides of the bed, looking up at each other before beginning to climb in. 
“So, I’ll see you in the morning?” He asks, beginning to pull the covers over his body. 
I nod. “Yeah. I’ll see you in the morning.” I pause, before playfully adding, “stay on your side.” I flashed him a small smirk, which he returned with a coy, “Do you even have to ask?” 
I smiled at that, finding myself rolling my eyes fondly at him. “Night, Reid.” I say, turning my back away from him. 
“Sleep well, (Y/N).” He replies, shutting the room’s lamp, enveloping us with darkness and the way his final words hung in the air between us. I kept my eyes open for a moment, and couldn’t hear anything besides the sound of him breathing less than two feet away from me. His breathing was rhythmic and soothing. I don’t think I’d ever realized it up until this moment, but Reid’s presence simply had a way of making me feel safe, even outside of the context of having sex. He was always so good at responding to my sexual needs, that even in a situation that wasn’t related to that, some subconscious feeling inside of me reassured me that he’d keep me protected. The thought provided me a feeling of comfort and dread all at once, knowing that even just sharing a bed was somehow becoming more intimate than us having sex ever was. I shook my head, almost hoping to erase the thought from my head altogether. I closed my eyes more definitively, and slowly, I fell asleep to the sound of Reid’s light breathing, the sound lulling me to sleep like the sweetest lullaby. 
When I groggily came to in the morning, I quickly realized I was in an entirely different position that the one I’d fallen asleep in. When I’d closed my eyes, I was on the far-right side of the bed, curled away from Spencer, making sure to obey my own sentiment of staying on our respective sides. However, as of right now I found myself nestled into the man’s chest, an earthy and light musk permeating from him. My legs were entangled with his, and his arm had somehow found its way to lazily drape across my waist. My shirt had ridden up in the night, and his fingers touched the expanse of my bare skin, providing a warmth I never knew I could receive from him. 
I slowly moved away from him, careful not to disturb his sleeping figure so that our faces were an inch or two apart, and from this angle I could take in every pretty feature on his face. I watched the way his chest rose up and down in his sleep, and the straight peak of his nose. The way his eyelashes fanned out when his eyes were closed. His face looked softer when he slept, an entirely different sight than I was used to when it came to him. My memories of Spencer were filled with passion and lust, and until now I believed that was all he could make me feel. But at this moment? I could only recall the absolute tenderness in my heart, and the sensation of fondness blooming all throughout me for this man. 
I felt myself focusing on his lips, the way they parted in his sleep. They were a light shade of pink, and had a certain plumpness to them I’d never really noticed. When we kissed in the past, it was heated and rushed. Right now, though, I wanted to lazily kiss every inch of the skin, reveling in the slow movement of his lips against mine. I was so lost in my own fantasy, looking at his lips, that I didn’t even notice when the man stirred, until I saw the slight curve of a smile, causing me to look up at his eyes, which had been watching me for God knows how long. 
“Good morning.” He murmured, his voice deep from just waking up. 
God, did his morning voice have to be so attractive? 
“Reid!” I said, attempting to move away, but his hand that had been lazily draped over my waist gripped me a bit more firmly. I looked up at him with wide eyes. “Good morning. Um. How long have you been up?” I ask, biting my lip a bit nervously as I felt a blush creeping over my cheeks. 
“Long enough to know you make it a habit to stare at sleeping men you share beds with.” He says, his voice light, a small chuckle in his tone. 
I squeezed my eyes, visibly embarrassed. “Sorry, I woke up and realized we were in.. this position, and I didn’t know how to move without waking you up. I must’ve gotten in my own head.” I said, using a combination of half-truths to hopefully sound as convincing as possible. 
He watched me, his hazel eyes scanning over my face, and I could feel myself getting smaller under his gaze. 
“It’s alright.” He slowly responded, as if not to scare me. “I don’t mind someone watching me if it’s you.”  His free hand rubbed circles on my exposed waist, sending a chill up my spine. I took in his words. Nothing about our position was sexual, but somehow his innocent touch resonated on a deeper level than any physical intimacy we'd shared before. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding, nodding. 
“I’m still sorry.” I responded, my voice just above a whisper.
“Don’t be.” He said in return, his gaze a little more gentle now. 
I watched him watch me, and could feel that little voice screaming at me to just move away. But I couldn’t. That familiar bloom of fondness came upon me, and I realized in this moment I was feeling a lot more than lust for this man, and it terrified me. I gave a straight smile, realizing if I didn’t move this instant, I was going to give into my desires and kiss him in a way I swore I never would. If I didn’t move, I’d kiss him like I’d loved him from the start. And in a war between my heart and head, I made the decision to firmly move away, moving his hand off my waist and rising from the bed. 
“I’ll see you with the rest of the team.” I say, quickly. He looked a bit surprised by my sudden movement, trying to grab my hand before I could leave and sat up in bed. 
“(Y/N), wait.” 
I stopped, allowing his hand to envelop my mine,  attempting to ignore the feeling of how wonderful it felt to just hold his hand like this. 
“What’s wrong?” I asked, trying to seem as normal as I could. 
“We’re..” He paused, and then narrowed his eyes. “We’re good, right?” He said, looking at me carefully. 
I responded almost immediately. “Yeah, of course we are.”  I said the words as confidently as I could manage, because, no, we were not good. I was starting to catch feelings for the coworker I’d been hooking up with for the past six months, of course I wasn’t okay. This was against every rule, every boundary I’d set for myself, and I could feel the panic seeping in. “Nothing’s changed.” I add, to assure him. 
He let go of my hand as I said that. “Right.” He responded, a little more detached this time before quirking his mouth up. “I guess I’ll see you with the rest of the team.” He said, mirroring my words. 
I nodded, biting my lip, before turning around to grab my clothes for that day, getting ready as quickly as I could manage, leaving Reid in the room without even saying goodbye. 
That entire day, I could feel Reid’s eyes on me, and I’d be a hypocrite if I said I didn’t stare at him when he wasn’t looking. I couldn’t stop replaying the events of the morning. For a moment, I could almost imagine his gaze mirroring the same fondness I’d felt for him, but I’d quickly try to rid myself of those thoughts. Not only was it delusional to imagine Reid actually gaining feelings for me after all this time, it was even more deranged to imagine a universe where we’d work as a couple. I’d always prided myself on being exceedingly pragmatic, so why was I imagining a reality where I could wake up next to Spencer Reid everyday? 
Throughout the day, I found myself increasingly frustrated about my situation with Spencer. The case we were working on required quite a bit of collaboration and desk-work, and I found myself flitting between my team members, exchanging information and files, and coming into contact with Reid more times than I’d hoped for that day. Every time I spoke to him, I could feel my heart in my throat, struggling to make eye contact for more than 3 seconds without deteriorating into a blush. I’d been fucking this man for six months, and this, this is what ruins me? 
It’s not like Spencer made it any easier. His gaze was laser-focused on me, almost purposely brushing our fingers together when we’d exchange files. We were breaking every rule we’d set for ourselves, and with every glance and touch, I felt myself yearning for something I knew I could never have. And it was driving me fucking crazy. 
It wasn’t until much later, where the team was wrapping up for the night, where I’d finally had enough. I had been reviewing the last of the files necessary for our case,  when Reid strided over to where I was. I didn’t turn back, but I could feel him watching me. Slowly, I could feel him creep over, to the point where my back was nearly flush to his chest. He leaned over, his warm breath tickling my neck as he said, “I’m heading to the room.” That damned voice of his. I took a breath, and could feel myself getting antsy. Had I always been this hyper aware of Spencer’s presence? Had we always been like this, and I’d never even realized it? 
I gritted out a curt response, “Fine.”
I knew it was unfair. I knew he wasn’t privy to what I was thinking or what I was feeling, but a small part of me couldn’t help but blame him. It was childish, but I’d said it anyway. He heard it and stepped away, knitting his eyebrows.  
“Are you mad at me?” He asked, retracting his position to be slightly away from me, but close enough that no one else could hear. 
“Not here. Not now.” I said, holding back any visible emotion on my face. 
He nodded, and ran a hand through his hair nodding. We packed our things and walked together to the hotel room, silent. He opened the door for me and I walked in, turning to him as he closed the door. 
“What.. what are you doing?” I ask, crossing my arms. “This.. you’re being weird!” I exclaim.
“I’m being weird?” Spencer asks, dumbfounded, whilst raising an eyebrow at me. “You wanna talk about ‘weird’, (Y/N)?” He says, using air quotes. “You’re the one that left like that this morning- and you were lying to me!” He says, raising his voice, especially at the last part. 
I felt a muscle in my jaw twitch as he said that, and I spoke, trying to cover up my deceivement from earlier that day. “What? No- I wasn’t lying-” 
He interrupted me. “(Y/N). I know you. I. Know. You.” He says, pointing at my chest and emphasizing each word. He continued, looking right into my eyes. “That means I know when you’re lying to me.” He asserted, challenging me as he stepped closer. 
I took a step back. He took a step closer. 
“You know what, Spencer.” I say, trying to manage a tone of finality, while creating as much space between us by raising my hands in between us. “I’ll take the floor tonight.” I swallowed a bit, looking for an opening I could use to move away from this situation, to end it before we got messy. Instead, he stood firm as I was left watching his face morph into one of confusion and hurt. 
“Stop doing that!” He exclaims. “Stop.. stop pretending! I see the way you look at me!” He exclaims, seemingly getting defensive. 
I furrowed my brows. He was not about to pretend he was guiltless in the situation we’d found ourselves in. 
“And I see the way you look at me!” I yell back, not backing down. “So, what’s your point?” 
“God, you just never get it, do you?!” He bursts out, and I can’t even begin to discern the expression on his face. He looked wild, running his hands through his hair once more. 
“What don’t I get, Reid?!” I reply, breathing harder now as my voice rises, and I get closer to him. “Is this too much for you?!” I say, knitting my brows. “Do you want to stop, is that what you’re saying? Because I’ll have you know I am more than okay with shutting this thing we have-” 
Before I can finish my sentence, he grabs my face with both hands, pulling me towards him and pressing me into a knee-weakening kiss. But instead of being heated and rushed, it’s sweet. It’s languid. Like we had all the time in the world to kiss like this. His lips moved slowly against mine, savoring it in a way I knew he never had before. He pulled away slowly, his lips red, and his hands still firmly on either side of my face. 
“I don’t want to stop.” He says, breathless. “I don’t wanna get rid of a good thing just because we’re scared.” 
I looked at him, my face riddled with confusion as he looked at me, and I could finally see the fondness I’d felt that morning reflected in his expression at that moment. 
“But we said-” I began. 
“I don’t care what we said.” He shoots back. “And I don’t think you really care either.” He adds on, softly. “I think you’re scared of being hurt, and I won’t pretend like I wasn’t either.” 
My eyebrows scrunch as I look up at him, breathing out through my nose. “Why now then?” I ask, softly, my lips parting slightly. “What changed?” 
He sighed, caressing the smooth skin of my cheek, smiling slightly at me. “I’ve felt it before.” He murmurs. “When I see you work, when I see you laugh.”  He takes a breath. “But I think I felt it the most when I woke up and watched you watching me.”
 He gently lifts my chin, and I look up at him with possibly the most love-struck gaze I’d ever managed in my life. He continued, looking into my eyes. “And at that point, I couldn’t ignore it. I don’t want to go another second pretending what I feel for you isn’t real, or something we need to bury.” He fixed his eyes on me, looking at me with a new tenderness. 
I look up at him, biting my lip, holding back a smile. He sees the joy in my eyes, and I can tell he’s doing the same.
“Can I kiss you again?” He asks, his voice a whisper. 
I nod, already moving towards him. 
And he’s there again, kissing me slowly and affectionately, his hands wrapping into my hair, and pulling him closer to me. My hands wrapped around his neck, and I kissed him back in the same leisurely fashion. I could see lifetimes ahead of us. Lifetimes of happiness, of kisses like these, where we could take our time because for once, we had it. 
He guided me gently to the bed, and placed himself over me. It felt so different from all the times we’d shared our lust together. It felt like we were starting something entirely new. He kissed my lips, then my cheek, and then my neck. He knew my body as well as his own, finding the spot right below my ear that consistently made me moan his name. He grinned as he heard the noise escape my parted lips, rising to move the hair out of my face. He kissed my lips again, mumbling against them. 
“You’re so beautiful.” He says, leaning closer and I smile softly at the words.
 I bring him down for another kiss, and this time around, he’s slowly removing the buttons off my work shirt. With every button he removes, he kisses the newly exposed skin. I can feel his lips tickling the swell of my breasts, my sternum, and my stomach, eventually removing all the buttons and shrugging off the shirt. He then goes back all the way to kiss every place his lips hadn’t touched, and then some. It felt like an act of worship, of devotion. As if he was remembering me all over again, as if he couldn’t get enough of it.
He undid the buttons of my jeans, whispering sweet nothings all the way, and a pleasurable sigh escaped my lips, feeling his lips trail near my inner thigh. He pulled down my underwear, taking a breath in as he saw the glistening folds. He situated himself between my thighs, looking up at me. 
“Can I?” He asked, clearly eager. I found it adorable he asked, as if he could sense the newness in what we were doing as well. I nodded, and brought my free hand to his curls, the other laying on the sheets. I could feel his smile as he brought himself closer to my heat, and gave a long lap of his tongue against me. I moaned out at the feeling, and it seemed to spur him on. He hooked his hands beneath my thighs, and began to delve into the hot flesh like a man starved. I breathed out his name like a prayer. His tongue darted out and licked harshly against my clit, and I could feel myself devolving. Even in this moment of vulnerability, I trusted him enough to fall apart, knowing he’d put me back together, and that’s exactly what I did. With another movement of his tongue, I reached my peak, moaning his name as  my thighs nearly closed around his head, his strong arms holding me open. 
He smiled breathlessly, my arousal coating his chin as he leaned over to kiss me one more time. As he did so, I moved my arms to start undoing his belt, and to free his cock from his briefs, the tip already leaking pre-cum. I guided him to my wet heat, pushing him in slowly. I moaned at the fullness and could feel myself enter a stage of total bliss.
He began to thrust into me, slowly at first, but increased the pace. He cupped my cheek, jutting his hips against me like a man possessed. 
“You feel so fucking good around me, you know that?” He cooed,  looking down at me. “So perfect for me. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.” 
I smiled, dazed at the words, feeling myself rapidly approach my peak as he pounded into me, and I could feel the same for him. I opened my eyes, looking up at him with an expression that was full of lust and love all at once. “You’re all… I ever wanted .. too'' I moaned, feeling him start to go even faster at my words. 
“Yeah?” He said, grinning again. “Then take it. Take everything I’m giving you.” He moved his fingers to begin circling around my clit, and moments later I was falling apart all over again. I came with a loud moan of his name, convulsing as he continued to thrust into me. 
“Just like that, pretty girl.” He said, smirking. “Come all over my cock.” 
I moaned at his words, squeezing my eyes shut as I felt him move faster against me, bottoming out inside me before I felt the stuttering of his own hips, followed by a warmth at my deepest point. He moaned at the feeling,  pulling out afterwards and leaving me so empty. The feeling didn’t last long though, as he moved over next to me on the bed, pulling me close and kissing my forehead. 
“You’re so amazing, you know that?” Spencer says, stroking my hair. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head whispering, “You know how long I’ve wanted to do this?” 
I knew at that moment he wasn’t talking about the sex. We’d done that before. But this? This was different, and it was god-awful terrifying, but I think I could forget about the fear when Spencer was playing with my hair, treating me like I was the most beautiful thing he’d ever touched in his entire life. I nestled into his arms, allowing the warmth to envelope me. 
“You know you have to get up soon, right?” Reid muses, playfully.  “Peeing after sex, and all that.” 
“I know.” I murmur into the bare skin of his chest, sighing. “Just let me stay here a little longer.” I say, hoping he’d give in and just let me relax on him. 
“Mm.” He replies, and I could feel the vibration of his lips from where I was. “There are some words I never thought I’d hear from you.” He answered, and I could hear the smirk in his voice.
I playfully hit his shoulder, laughing as I pretended to move away in mock offense, but he wouldn’t even allow that, pulling me even closer.
“Stay.” He whispers. “You feel nice.” And so I did, pressing myself against him and breathing in his scent. 
He felt like a new person to me, and even now, I was absolutely insatiable for him. It’d never felt like this before, to feel so safe and loved for. We’d done that. We’d created that love for each other. 
I recalled a quote I’d seen a lifetime ago, smiling at my own thoughts.
“Do all lovers feel like they’re inventing something?” 
With Spencer, I think I truly was. 
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aa! second fic. this one was long. i hope you all liked it. reblogs, likes, comments are all gladly accepted. my reqs are also open so! go nuts. thank you for reading :3
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captain039 · 5 months ago
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PART 3 Daddy’s Little Girl
Logan x reader
Warnings: Age gap (early twenties reader), swearing, first times, virgin reader, plus size reader, tension, oral f receiving, smut, daddy kink, dom! logan, Abuse (Not from Logan), anxiety, depression, mention of self-harm scars, reader has muscle issues and body pain, angst
Taglist @clairealeehelsing @dirtydianaahah
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You strip your clothes off with shaking hands and check the temperature before stepping under the water. The instant soothing you get is amazing, the heat going to your muscles and soothing them too. You can’t help but moan in relief. You’re hesitant to use his things but you didn’t get a shower last night and he did say you could however long you need. You wash your body with the spare loofa he got out and use his shampoo and conditioner. It smells just like him and you smile a bit. You wash your hair and body in a comfortable time before getting out and drying. Your bra and underwear aren't wet thankfully so you put them on before hesitating on his clothes. You glance at your body then his clothes, then yours. You ring out most of the water making a disgusted face when you put your damp clothes on. They’ll dry in front of the fire, or heater, hopefully. You walk out hearing Logan on the phone.
“Yeah we can’t go anywhere in this storm sorry boss” you hear and tense staying in the hallway.
“Yeah, yeah no worries, bye” he hangs up and you make yourself known.
“Good shower?” He turns and frowns, he’s already changed, great sweats and a grey long-sleeve shirt.
“I’ll just stand in front of the fire,” you say already shivering.
“Why didn’t you put my clothes on?” He asks confused.
“You’ll catch a cold” he adds and you flush.
“I’m fine” you mutter going over to the fireplace.
He says your name a little firm and you tense a little.
“It’s fine, really they’ll dry” you offer a smile gulping a little as he walks over.
“What’s going on?” He asks and you feel like a see-through window. It feels like a loaded question to ask someone like yourself.
“I’m ok, just a little tired I guess” You shrug avoiding his eyes as you turn your back to the fireplace. You hate how he’s looking at you, like someone who genuinely cares and isn’t just the boss's daughter.
“You don’t have to treat me with such care just cause I’m the boss's daughter” you half-heartedly joke.
“I won’t break” you add gulping when you see his frown deepen, bad joke you guess.
“I’ve known you for two years, and I see you every day, I’m not being nice just because you’re the boss's daughter” he sounds offended and you shrink a little.
“I’m sorry” you mutter.
“Do you think it’ll stop soon?” You ask referring to the storm.
“Maybe an hour, where’s your phone I’ll put it in charge” he says and you hand it to him. Working outside you had a protective waterproof case so you didn’t damage it.
Your clothes start to dry off, but your body hurts from standing here, you’re shifting on your feet every few minutes. Logan’s in the kitchen making something you think.
“You want a hot drink? Or some water?” He asks.
“No, thank you” you answer.
“You can sit down Bub” he says and you gulp a little.
“I’m not quite dry” you answer and he makes a small grunting noise heading to the bathroom. You hate making him do things.
“I don’t care if you get my couch wet, but here” he lays down a towel and you thank him quietly before sitting down. You sigh in relief as you sit down and hang your head back as Logan comes out with a hot drink in his hand. Smells like tea you think. He sits down with a small sigh on his lips as he checks his phone quickly. You feel awkward sitting here, alone with him even though you shouldn’t, all you ever wanted was to have alone time with him, tell him all your problems and see if he’d run or not. The rain doesn’t let up and the thunder and flashes make your heart race a little. Your mother always comforted you when you were younger from storms, you never grew quite out of the fear. It’s warm though now and you sigh lifting your legs onto the couch. You regret trying to hug your knees and stretch back out with a small sigh. You wish you were in bed, wrapped up with some sad romantic music and a bad romance book. You watch the fire instead of cursing yourself when a loud bang echoes and you jump.
“You ok there?” Logan teases with a small laugh and you huff softly.
“Shut up” you mumble feeling embarrassed.
“Come ‘ere” he says and you frown seeing his arm open and lifted slightly. You blink confused and shuffle a bit till your arms distance. He tugs you closer and you feel your cheeks warm hoping your clothes aren’t damp anywhere still. His arm goes around his shoulders like it’s natural for him, but you’re tenser than ever. He doesn’t know anything, not about you your life, your stupid thoughts, your lusty thoughts of him, love… Is it because you’re in a void of hurt that you cling to the first thing that shows kindness, that ticks all the imaginary boxes of a perfect partner? The comfort he gives.
“What’s got you thinking so deeply?” His voice is closer and you didn’t even realise you leaned on him. You apologise softly and sit up a little more.
“I’ve always dreamed about moments like these” you mumble before you can even comprehend what you’ve said as you feel him tense.
“Sorry, I’m sorry-“You go to get up but he’s got you securely held.
“How so?” He asks his voice deeper and huskier than normal.
“Doesn’t matter” you flush looking at your lap.
“How so” his free hand forces your chin towards him. His eyes have darkened, his face hard and you think he’s going to scold you.
“I don’t need you to scold me or you to shame me, my father does that enough he thinks I’ve slept with the whole fucking team! I’m a virgin for god's sake!” You snap and move away running your hands through your now-dry hair.
“I need to go home” you say going to where your phones plugged in hands shaking.
“Not till you tell me what’s wrong” Logan says tone firm making you scoff.
“You don’t want to know Logan, you have your portrayed picture of my family, leave it” You go for your phone but he’s quicker and quieter, turning you and pinning you against the table, hands either side of your body, face close.
You forget to breathe his face is stern and you can’t help the heat between your legs.
“You’re not going home till you tell me what’s going on, don’t bullshit me” his voice is like a low growl and you go to argue but he raises an eyebrow at you. You scoff, lean your head back and let out a fake laugh as you try to force the tears back.
“My father abuses me daily, I’m a pig of a slut, useless at my fucking job, I don’t even get paid for running the whole fucking business. I’m tired all the fucking time, I’m mentally drained all the fucking time I have scars on my body from where I’ve hurt myself to feel something other than this, I can’t even have a damned proper shower because I’m wasting water, I can’t shave my body, have a warm relaxing shower when I’m on my period or in pain, I have to buy my clothes and things I need in secret because I’m not even supposed to have a bank account, I’m hurting all the damn time I can’t go to the doctors because it’ll end in an argument, I don’t get dinner I have to wait till he’s passed out to get scraps. I’m in love with a man twice my age who is nothing but kind and caring but doesn’t want someone like me, and I am fucking tired” you say. Your body feels boneless you feel tears rolling down your cheeks.
“So please, let me go home” you mutter head hung. Logan’s knuckles are white his breathing is erratic.
“You’re not going home,” he says.
“I’m going to fucking kill him” he growls and you frown lifting your head.
“No,” you say and he snarls staring at you some wild craze in his eyes.
“You stay with me from now on,” he says tone serious.
“Did you not hear anything I said!” You yell.
“I heard it! I heard how you’re suffering and it fucking kills me to know it now and not sooner or do anything sooner. I am the same age as your so-called sad excuse of a father and I hated that I was waking up in the middle of the night in a sweat because you were there in them. I hate how every time I see you there’s an exhaustion cloud hanging over you and I couldn’t do anything without you pulling away from me. I figured you’d realise I was too old for that kind of treatment so I left it!” His words make more tears fall down your cheeks.
“And I hate myself for being selfish” he mutters making you frown briefly before there’s lips crashing to yours. A surprise noise leaves your lips before your arms clutch his shoulders and you moan into him. The storm outside feels the same on the inside, electricity building, rumbling, angry dark clouds and rain. Logan’s hands grip your hips so tightly it hurts even more and you whimper against him.
“I’m sorry” he mutters gently massaging where he held instead as he continues to kiss you. You have to pull back to breathe, heavy breaths leaving your lips as his forehead rests on yours.
“I’m gonna take care of you” he mutters and you nod silently.
You’re exhausted after everything, you stand there for a while in Logan’s arms protectively around you, breathing in his smell. You don’t want to leave even as the storm clears and the rain slows. You want to stay here locked in this embrace so you don’t have to deal with the real world. Your phones both buzz though and it’s a message from your dad to meet back at the trailer. You don’t want to go, don’t want this dream to end, but you have to wake up.
The drive back feels like an agonisingly slow build-up to what’s to come. You see everyone already there your father’s angry eyes finding yours before his mask is back on. You pull up and slowly get out of the car keeping your head down. Logan’s growling though storming out of the car right to your father.
“Logan!” You yell but it’s too late. Logan’s got your father on the muddy ground punching his face bloody. The men around him try to stop, struggling to get the male off your father.
“Logan stop!” You yell.
“You ever speak to her again I cut your fucking tongue out” Logan growls punching him one last time before he lets the team rip him off.
“The hell did you do?” Your father coughs looking at you and your heart hurts.
“She didn’t do anything you sad sack piece of shit, you won’t see your daughter again” Logan growls shrugging Graham and Jason off him. You help your father up but he pushes you away glaring at you.
“Turned my men against me you harlot?” He spits blood on the ground by your feet and you frown. Logan’s snarling again ready to throw more punches but you fist your hand instead and connect it with his nose. Your father groans and stumbles back against the trailer while you wince and hold your hand. Logan’s there instantly checking your hand for broken bones. Your hand shakes but you’re ok, you glance at the team around you you’ve known for years and gulp. Jason looks surprised Graham has a mild smirk on his lips while Thomas and Frank look stunned.
“You ok, sweetheart?” Logan mutters and you nod a bit feeling shaken.
“Let’s go home” he presses his lips to your temple before helping you back into the car giving one last look at your father before driving off.
You stare at your hand, where your father’s blood is, the redness coming in too. Logan’s knuckles look fine even with how hard he hit. The drive back is quiet and you have a million thoughts going through your head, but for the first time, you feel relief and sag into the leather seat.
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lbxbx · 8 months ago
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Blackmail 5 | KTH
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Pairing: Idol!taehyung x reader
Genre: smut, angst. Five shot
Synopsis: being part of their staff meant you had to be around them all the time, Taehyung has a checklist of all the girls he slept with and filmed and you were next on the list, as he lures you using several ways one of them being actually showing you the content he films, before you finally give in and he actually films you to tick you off of his list. Little do you know it’s the biggest mistake ever.
Disclaimer: events and incidents in this fiction are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. This does not resemble Taehyung’s character whatsoever. taglist: @idkduewhy @wiebouquetbarbarian @tan-veee @pookiej @xstfudaisyx @junecat18 @whipwhops @mother2onsters @lil0u0 @whoa-jo @latinapoetbts
Previous 
Your doorbell rings twice before you rush to open it, your joints still feel loose from the night before and today hasn’t been quite your day, despite it being your weekend, you’re not enjoying your time still trying to recover from last night’s hangover.
You were on the verge of doing something very stupid when alcohol was at its peak in your entire system, but you got lucky, and realized this morning that thankfully nothing happened.
The exact second you open your eyes the next morning you feel instant regret, you want way overboard with drinking to the point of actually falling asleep still in your dress on your couch. Immense pounding headache makes you close your eyes again and frown, you’re extremely sweaty and you need to shower like right now.
You do remember something happening the night before but you can’t pin-point it. It’s something that had to do with Taehyung, but you’re not quite sure what it was. Good god, why is the sun so bright, what time is it?
Your head snaps quickly to your surroundings trying to locate your phone, your neck is stiff from the long sleep on the couch and your back hurts like hell. You end up finding your poor phone thrown down on the floor, and it seems like it spent the night laying there.
Your sore joints don’t help when you stretch your arm over to grab your phone and unlock it, you looked so miserable this morning to the point of face ID barely recognizing you, you have to rub your eyes before looking back onto your screen and finally unlocking it.
And it unlocks straight into a post you wrote the night before and you instantly rewind the tape from last night and what exactly happened. You know you do stupid shit when you’re drunk heavy so it was a little expected for you to do such thing, luckily when you clicked share last night you still had to select an option on where to post the media you selected, you had to choose a platform to post onto.
You let out a breath of relief when you finally make sure that none of the media you selected was posted, you delete the entire post and lock your phone again before getting into the shower and proceeding with your usual morning routine.
“Jungkook? What are you doing here?” You’re standing near your doorstep in utter confusion, you started questioning yourself on when did he figure out your address? But then your call that he drove you here once.
You’re still oblivious over the reason why he suddenly showed up on a Saturday morning. “Can I come in?” A heartwarming smile sits over his face, you invite him in and close the door behind him. “What’s up?” He takes a seat onto your couch.
“Not much, is there anything wrong? Are you okay?” You take a seat on the same couch only a couple seats away from him. “I was driving nearby, I figured I’d come over maybe we could have a chat.”
“Couldn’t this chat wait until Monday?” You ask, and he pauses to look at you feeling a little unwelcomed in your place, which makes you laugh nervously and scratch your temple. “I didn’t want it to sound like that, would you like a drink?”
He shrugs it off right away and answers. “Just water please.”
And as soon as you turn your back and head to your kitchen, Jungkook looks around the place scanning every single corner, memorizing the details around your place just like he was taught, he even gets up onto his feet and walks towards the console under your TV to search into the three drawers.
“Stay out of this Jungkook.” He’s about to leave the room before he gets pulled back by the wrist, “No I can’t stay out of this, just so you know, your stupid kink can not only ruin your career, it could ruin mine too, and I can’t sacrifice everything I worked hard for this past decade just so you could have your own fun.”
Taehyung has his own selective hearing and fully decides on not listening. “Look, you know I want the best for you right?” Jungkook asks which makes Taehyung pay a little attention.
“Yes, and?”
“I’d say you keep your distance from Y/N specifically, she’s after you. And I’m afraid if you’re not careful enough she might just… tell someone, or make a scene, and you don’t want that do you?” The younger genuinely cares about his friend, he’s even frustrated when Taehyung scoffs and immediately argues. “Trust me she won’t. she can’t prove anything. Besides.. I can’t post anything you know that, I’d be harming myself before I harm her, and honestly I could care less about her.”
“We kind of had a chat the other day , I’m pretty sure she said she has something that could possibly ruin your career, I don’t know what exactly, but she does. And I need you to be careful because she’s onto something.”
Taehyung drives Jungkook frustrated when he grabs Jungkook’s arm away from his own wrist and mutters. “Stay out of this Jungkook, I know what I’m doing.”
“Except you’re not.” Jungkook interrupts him right away. “I never thought I would say this, but I’m willing to testify against you if she decides to post anything, Hyung, I thought I’d choose you over her, but now I’d choose my career over you.”
Finally something manages to mess up Taehyung’s mind, Jungkook’s words finally knocked sense into him, “And Taehyung, if anything happens, you’re on your own.” He’s about to leave, but this time he’s the one being pulled by the wrist. “Jungkook wait.”
And the youngest turns towards Taehyung with a knot formed between his brows, “Jungkook tell me what should I do?”
And apparently, this is why Jungkook showed up to your place uninvited just so he can start his so called plan with Taehyung. Jungkook panics and gets back to his seat right away when he hears your footsteps coming back to the living room, he’s never done anything like this before and he’s nervous himself, worried that he’d get caught by you.
“Here you go.” You hand him a glass filled with water and he takes a sip to calm his pounding heart down, “I’m sorry I showed up uninvited, but I figured we could talk and probably help each other out.”
“Help each other?” You get back to your seat, he nods and puts the glass down. “I’ve been thinking about this whole thing with Taehyung, and I just wanted you to know that I’m fully on your side no matter what. He’s been doing this for so long to so many girls and it can’t be right.”
This by the way is totally against Jungkook’s principles, but fuck his principles right now he’s going to try and save his career that could vanish right after Taehyung’s.
“Look I tried so hard to talk him out of it, but he’s really determined to do it, so I figured I’d talk to you, maybe find out what you have against him, we could try and figure out something that could save us both.”  He gets closer to your seat before his hand lands onto your knee. “I care about you Y/N.”
The problem is that he sounds genuine to you at this moment, he’s worried over himself and his own career so this is his last minute decision to try and save it. “Thank you, Jungkook.” A faint smile sits on your face and you put your hand over his. “I have what it takes to end this man, you shouldn’t be worried.”
You feel the physical tension when he suddenly moves even closer and tugs your hair behind your ear before he whispers. “I trust you, Y/N, but we have to work together, and I want you to trust me too.”
“Just leave it to me Jungkook—“ And before you even finish he interrupts. “Shh, I know you can do this whole thing, but Y/N, I can help you keep your job.” He ends up pressing a kiss onto the warm skin of your neck right above your pulse, “Look we don’t have to decide anything right now, you seem a little tense and tired, maybe I can help you relax a bit.”
“I’m okay, I just..” You release a breath when he starts rubbing your shoulders and neck, making your eyes almost shut close. “.. I fell asleep on the couch last night.”
He gasps and clicks his tongue. “You shouldn’t have, that’s why your neck feels all tense.” He climbs up on the couch and wedges himself in between your back and the back of the couch, making you sit between his legs, he collects your hair away from your neck and pulls it to the side. “I was just thinking, that maybe you hand me what you have against him, maybe I could show it to someone without having to post it.”
“Taehyung wanted to post it, maybe we could grant his wish.” Your tongue feels heavy as you speak when he keeps rubbing all your knots, and right after rubbing each one he presses a kiss onto your skin. “Don’t just give him what he wants on a silver platter.” He argues, running his fingers down your covered back, “How did you manage to get your evidence?”
His fingers trace your spine and stop right by the hook of your bra, he leans his chin onto your shoulder and you can feel his breath right by your neck which sends goosebumps all over your body. “I got access to his folders when we spent our last night together.”
“On his iPad?” And you nod right away, he feigns a little giggle before he presses another soft kiss onto your neck, one of his hands running down your thigh. “Gosh have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”
This feels a little forbidden to you specially after all you’ve been through with Taehyung, you’re aware that you shouldn’t repeat your mistakes. “Thank you.” You’re about to get up from your seat but he wraps his arms around you and buries his face into your neck. “No please stay.”
“Jungkook this doesn’t feel right.” You whisper as if you’re worried someone might hear you. “I’ve been thinking about you ever since we spent that night together, I kept thinking how much I’d like to have you just for myself.”
And in one quick movement he slides his hand into your shorts and panties to run it over your cunt, ever so gently rubbing your sensitive bud while kissing your shoulder and whispering. “I dreamt about how this cunt would wrap around my dick and take it so well.”
You tried resisting letting out any noise but your body seems to give in even when this feels absolutely wrong, Jungkook has a different touch than Taehyung, his is more gentle and softer, and he could easily give any girl the placebo effect that he adores her even when he’s just touching her to prep her for what’s coming next, while Taehyung was more explicit, his touch was tougher and stronger onto your skin.
“So is it on your phone?”
Something smells fishy to you at this exact second, you open your eyes and clear your throat, it takes you a second to answer. “No, it’s on one of his cameras.”
“So you have it?” He asks.
Could he possibly be here just to set you up? Hundreds of thoughts are all up in your head when you’re trying to figure out what’s the matter, Jungkook isn’t like Taehyung, he can’t be.
You can easily test the theory you have in your head, you’ve already copied the file on your phone so you can easily hand him the camera and still you’ll be one step ahead of him.
“Yeah, but I trust you Kook, you know that right.” You turn your head to look at him and your noses hit, you’re about to pull back but he pulls you in and dares to steal a quick peck from your lips. “You can trust me.”
He notices how different your body language suddenly got which makes him force a laugh. “Friends kiss like all the time, and we’re friends, aren’t we?”
“Yeah sure.” You get up and rush inside your bedroom, Jungkook quickly takes his phone out and sends a voice message to someone, you figure it’s Taehyung when Jungkook speaks. “Consider it done.”
Of course.
Taehyung never had to think and list his priorities regarding this because it basically never backfired, his brain doesn’t function like other people and he’s extremely selfish, he’s willing to do anything just to save himself even if he had to hurt someone. You’re basically a threat to him right now.
He recalls what Jungkook sent him an hour ago, consider it done? Which means you really have something that could ruin his career? Like what? He doesn’t recall you taking any pictures or having any of the clips he filmed, Fuck, Taehyung. Think.
He throws himself down on the nearest chair and buries his face into his palms, the man has an excellent memory, so he tries to recall the nights you two were together, you could’ve possible hid your phone behind something like he does, or you could’ve stolen the date on his iPad or perhaps one of the cameras.
The cameras, his bag of cameras is in the building hidden in one of the lockers, he rushes up from his seat and takes the elevator up to the lockers. And after looking around left and right making sure he’s not spotted by anyone, he fishes out his keychain and unlocks the metal doors of the locker, he takes out the handbag and when the bag keeps being shuffled in his hand, the cameras are clearly heard being mixed into each other.
He puts it down onto the floor and gets onto his knees, how can he make sure that all the cameras are in there when he doesn’t know how many he has in the first place?  But this doesn’t stop him, when it comes to his own benefit he’s willing to do anything, he could try and dig out for the receipts when he bought them but this goes back to years ago, and he uses his cards all the time so it was nearly impossible to find the receipts.
Okay scratch that. He shakes his own head and proceeds to count the cameras, he opens each and every one of the cameras and he finally realizes, that the content from the other night you two spent together doesn’t exist on any of the cameras.
And that night he recalls pressing the record button after his stupid mistake he made when he spent  the night with Jungkook and you, plus he was sober. Could you possibly have one of the cameras?
“Hyung, I got the camera.” Jungkook barges in to the locker room with a tiny go pro sitting in his hand, and finally Taehyung feels a little relieved, totally oblivious that you were able to copy the folders more than once.
“Thank fucking god.” He releases a sigh and grabs the camera from Jungkook and opens it, the folders are still there which makes him a little too sure that you’re no longer able to do anything.
“Please use it wisely, and don’t fuck things up.” The youngest is relieved as well and he leaves the locker room knowing that he’s safe too. Taehyung turns the camera off and shoves it back into the handbag and locks it inside.
Monday morning felt so off for you, you woke feeling nauseated and exhausted, you barely got any sleep the night before and you feel like you’ve reached your dead end. Things can’t get worse than they actually are.
You’re going to try talking to Taehyung like the adult you are for one last time, hoping that he’d go sane or perhaps understand and change his mind, well practically you weren’t too hopeful but of course you’re willing to give it a try.
“Morning!” It makes you flinch at how cheered up Jungkook sounds, you scoff on the inside and fake a smile behind your face mask. “Morning.”
“How are you today?” He puts his bag down and takes his seat. “I’m doing pretty well thanks for asking.” And you walk past him to your destination, mumbling under your mask. “Fucking hypocrite.”
You actually thought this man could be different, but he’s just like his friend, willing to drown anyone just so he can survive.
You reach the makeup station and you roll your eyes when you see Taehyung already seated, they were pre recording something today so you rush yourself and get to work. “Good morning.” He looks at you through the mirror and you answer right away. “Taehyung we need to talk.”
Even when it’s the beginning of the week, the styling room was empty only him and you left alone inside, you had to have a chat with him, he’s a little taken back to see you behaving agitatedly when it’s still morning time, but he can easily guess what you’re about to say.
“Alright.” Taehyung gets up from his chair and closes the door shut before moving back to his seat “What’s up? Why are you being all weird?”
“We need to talk.” Your worried expressions don’t even trigger his fight or flight and he couldn’t care less on why you look so agitated. “Yeah, you stated that earlier, what do you want?”
“I think we should both go on separate ways, we both have a career we should focus on and I think it’s not worth losing it for the stupid thing we did, we both can’t lose what we worked hard on. Now I know you’re not going to post anything and neither will i—“
He high key rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. “Y/N, sweetheart, If anyone is going to lose anything then it’s going to be you, I can’t lose anything. Look, I don’t know why it seems so difficult for you to understand, but you just have to do what I say, and when I call you to spend the night you just come over and that’s it. Doesn’t sound too hard does it? We can make each other feel good.” He makes it sound so easy, but what he doesn’t know is how your self worth is long gone when you’re left on the floor in the middle of his hotel room all soiled and sore and worn out, he doesn’t understand what it feels like to be actually called by him and having to be there because you were forced, just to have him pleased and satisfied, it never mattered to him how you felt, he only thought about himself the entire time.
You too agreed it was sex only and this is a sealed deal, but every time he kissed you and made you feel good, it was his twisted way of making himself feel good, every time he fucked you or went down on you, it was just for himself, he felt good doing it, it didn’t matter how you felt. And even if he eventually found out you faked a performance the last time it wouldn’t probably matter to him, at least it made him feel good and he was left satisfied.
“No.” You give him a solid answer. “Don’t expect anything from me anymore, I’m not willing to give you what you need and I believe you already know other people who can give you the exact same thing, but I can’t anymore.”
“I’m quite sure I already told you, your family and coworkers won’t be happy when they see the clip—“
“Save it Tae, I’m not scared,” You cross your arms too. “Whatever happened between us was a stupid mistake. I wish you can really see how I feel about you, because Taehyung, really, I pity you, and I think you truly need help, there’s nothing half appealing about you anymore, actually it’s the exact opposite, to me you’re someone that being with was just a waste of time, and honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever enjoyed my time when I’m with you.”
It hurts his ego for you to tell him this even when he tries to deny it in his head that you mean it, he thinks you’re just saying this to piss him off and just belittle him. He grits his teeth again and you can see his temples growing bigger with each time his jaw tightens, he tilts his head before squinting his eyes. “I know you’re just doing this out of spite, but I don’t have to remind you and show you the video where you literally begged me to fuck you.”
“Again Tae, save it really, I’m watching every move you make, and if you’re going to post the videos just do it, I don’t care anymore, but I want you to know that I’ll always be one step ahead of you.”
When normal people feel threatened they’d actually do something to protect themselves even if they had to fake an entire brave persona when they could nearly shit their pants, and that was the normal behavior for someone like you, but Taehyung’s career is jeopardized right before his eyes and he’s standing still with a straight face not even blinking, totally careless about everything you’re saying.
It doesn’t take you twenty minutes to finish working on his face, it felt like twenty hours with all the tension in the room, and whenever someone walks in they’d either question on why the door was closed on you two, or questioning what’s wrong when they can easily sense the electrocuted atmosphere in the tiny room.
Once you’re over you and Taehyung get back to the practice room to start filming whatever they had to film and you take a seat, you clearly see Taehyung and Jungkook talking in the corner and you know it’s about you when Jungkook tries to avoid looking into your eyes.
“Did you give him the camera?” Your voice rings across the practice room, you stand behind them, Jungkook crossing his arms and facing you fully.
“Who do you think you are?” Taehyung gets defensive as he walks towards you with a smirk on his face, “I knew about the camera all along, Y/N, I’m not that stupid, I know that you stole it.”
You have nothing to lose anymore so you giggle and nod. “Mhm, yeah, I’m pretty sure your friend retrieved it back for you.”
“I’ll give it back and you can consider this a gift, you can keep it, and to prove to you that I’m not afraid, I’m willing to show your videos to everyone.” He takes another step closer, his scent that you personally find repelling is wafting up your nose. “Let them see how much of a great performer you are.”
“Maybe they can see their favorite idol performing too.” You challenge him. After all you still don’t want anything to be posted for your own sake too. “I’ve got nothing to lose Taehyung, but you have everything to lose.”
And in a blink of an eye, the sore loser closes the space between you two and grabs you by the wrist tightly right in front of everyone, and with his tightened jaw and reddening face he whispers. “You have nothing to prove sweetheart, and you’re wrong. I’ll always be one step ahead of you.”
“Taehyung stop.” Jungkook stands between you two and tries his best to push his friend away, but the firm grip was really tight around your wrist to the point of hurting you. “Get away from me.”
“Y/N, you don’t have to do this.” Jungkook who’s shielding you looks behind his shoulder. “Let us discuss this like adults.”
“Oh fuck off you’re no different than him.” You glare at Jungkook still trying to escape Taehyung’s grip.
Taehyung isn’t doing his best right now and his brain was completely fogged by hatred, he’s now positive you’re hiding other things from him and he’s getting furious by the second, he’s getting the taste of his own medicine.
Around the practice room there were several people who are now watching Taehyung’s behavior that they’re not so familiar with. “Prove it, show me what you have against me.” And his grip is getting tighter and he’s being louder than before.
“Taehyung stop.” Jungkook seems embarrassed by Taehyung’s behavior.
They’re usually so secretive about their personal lives and their staff aren’t used to seeing them being like this, they always tried so hard to isolate their lives and their personal problems but right now it’s a show for everyone to see.
Your heart races and through the rush of adrenaline you pull your phone out of your pocket and unlock it. “Looks like you are afraid after all.”
“I’ll fucking end you, Y/N.”
“Not before I end you,  Kim Taehyung.” And finally you click post.
“Y/N, don’t—“ Jungkook tries and his attempt ends up failing.
The entire media is finally out for everyone to see, this is your only way to get your revenge at him.
People can now see how Taehyung degrades women in bed and humiliates them using his sick and twisted ways, they can finally see the true man he is. And not only you published the clips you had in your hand, you also managed to dig into the folders of your phone and find the nudes he sent you back during the tour, and it’s quite obvious that it’s him, It’s Kim Taehyung in the photos and in the videos.
Taehyung never saw this coming, he always thought he had control, he never imagined that he’d taste his own medicine this way. Not only did you show people his true personality, you managed to do something to the career he never thought he could damage or even lose.
Around the practice room the atmosphere was quite tense and stressed, but around the building people were going insane, continuous calls and paper work trying to do anything to hide this or even deny it, the headquarters are in shock knowing that the idol they trained and known since he was a young kid grew up to be this kind of person. They gave him everything he wanted, why in hell is this happening?
The social media has gone crazy and people are reposting and the post has now gone viral to everyone, it sucks that even with evidence people seem to still defend him, people are still trying hard to prove that this isn’t their idol, this can’t be their idol, but it is.
The image he painted for his fans is ruined by every second longer your post stays up, and frankly there’s not an ounce of regret inside you, this person deserves it, goodness he even deserves worse.
Back in the practice room it’s as if time froze, everyone’s phones started beeping and buzzing texts and calling, and monotonously they all pick up their phones and manage to read the news, whether it’s emails or even relatives asking if it was true? Some even having their families calling to tell them to get away and quit their jobs.
Girls around the practice room who’ve been in your place somehow feel relieved that it’s not only them, the man they despised finally got the end he deserved.
“You should’ve thought about this before you started it Taehyung.” You try to escape his grip but it only tightens, you look him up in the eyes and he dares to smirk even when his career is almost over. “Don’t come crying later, Y/N.” And he finally takes his hands off of you to leave the practice room, you look around the practice room to see everyone watching you with terrified faces.
You convince yourself that you shouldn’t panic, but you’re slowly starting to, it’s quite a fine line between regret and panic right now and you can’t identify which one is it.
“You must have lost your mind.” Jungkook finally faces you. “You shouldn’t have done this.”
“Oh how I wish the night I spent with you was caught on camera, I would’ve ended you in fucking seconds Jeon Jungkook.” Your chest is heaving and your heart is pounding, it feels like you were running for miles, and as much as you tried having respect and self control to not slap him in the face, you couldn’t. “Just fuck off Jungkook, turns out you’re exactly like him.” His eyes meet yours for one last time before he turns his back and leaves the practice room.
“What have you done, Y/N?” Mira asks, you clear your throat and try to talk but nothing seems to be able to escape your mouth, you’re sweating and stuttering hoping you’d come up with some sort of sentence but zero.
You knew it could backfire to you but you never thought how it would, you’re practically alone in Seoul and you have no one to stand with you, it’s basically you, against Taehyung and the entire world. Even the girls who were hurt by him, they never thought it would get serious, and most of them are now worried, what if the videos they were in got published? They’d be in trouble too.
You’re having second thoughts, you probably should’ve given up and just let him do whatever he wants, maybe you shouldn’t have sought for revenge, But he wronged you, of course you have to seek for revenge, he deserves it.
Fuck, you’re looking around, the girls are no longer satisfied with what you did, they look like they hold grudge against you now, but you practically helped them.
Could you possibly be the only one wrong? Could they be right? It’s getting complicated by the second.
“Y/n?” Their manager enters the practice room and you hold your breath, you can feel your heart beating against your back and pounding into your chest. “They want you upstairs.”
-
 It’s been almost four hours around the meeting table and you’ve never seen anything like this, it’s too much paperwork for you and people are talking endlessly, you’re too lost to keep track of what they’re saying, but it seems like they’re talking about lawyers and lawsuits.
Even when you can barely process what they’re saying, still you were able to “try” and defend yourself, but they did end up taking down the post.
Your train of thoughts is interrupted by a stack of papers landing in front of you. “Sign those.”
“What’s that?”
“Your resignation papers. You no longer work here.”
“But he deserves to be punished too, I was forced to sleep him just like the other girls were forced too.” you try to deny but it’s a lost cause at this point. They were all seeking for his protection, after all he matters way more than you do.
“Just sign it Y/N.” They hand you a pen and you end up signing anyway. Apparently this is your only way to end everything, this blackmail was the worst thing that ever happened to you, but even when it costs your job, you still were able to show Taehyung’s true colors to the world.
It’s getting suffocating around the meeting room  so you rush things to get over with and just leave, the world feels so small around you and you’ve never felt like this, it sucks big time that the career you actually imagined staying in is now completely over. You can’t deny that you wish none of this happened, you regret it a little now.
You collect your bag and leave the meeting room, you have so many things around the building that you need to collect that belong to you so you rush upstairs to the dressing rooms and pack your stuff, and you can’t not notice every set of eyes that’s been watching you pack quietly for the next 20 minutes, it does make you tense a little so you look up to meet their eyes. “I know what you’re all thinking.”
You’re looked at in pure pity and it hurts to your core, the other week people respected you and enjoyed your company but today they’re all afraid to even talk, it hurts that the girls you enjoyed working with stare at you like that which makes you sulk. “I did this all for you, for us, I did what you girls never dared to do.”
You sigh when they turn their heads away and move on with their day and you finish collecting your stuff, it’s all over now.
Right when you’re about to turn and leave the dressing room, you feel a hand wrapping around your wrist so you turn to see Luna, who’s looking at you with the same look of pity, her mouth slightly opens before she sighs in frustration. “You shouldn’t have done it.”
“Luna I—“
“Before you say anything, have you seen the media?”
“Yeah, I know, and I did it on purpose, he was after all of us.” You argue, she tilts her head and argues back. “What are you talking about? It’s all denied, Taehyung is innocent.” You feel your eyelids getting heavier, and it feels like someone dumped a bucket of cold water all over your shoulders and back.
You’re in denial that your entire body stops functioning, your head is shaking left and right subconsciously. “No.”
But she was right.
You lost your job for nothing, and honestly what were you expecting? Kim Taehyung is considered an international icon, of course they’d think you’re making rumors. Once your post was published it was taken down in less than ten minutes, and if you even bothered to pick up your phone and scroll through the media, it’s like nothing happened.
People are totally unbothered and it drives you insane, no one even reposted anything or tried to look through the evidence you posted, they’re all on his side even if they saw everything right before their eyes.
“I’m sorry Y/N, you should’ve thought this through.” It’s the same look of pity on her face. “He’s Kim Taehyung, he has people for everything.”
-
You had to wait a couple of minutes by the elevator door hoping that it’d stop any time soon, the box you were carrying was extremely heavy, you feel your arms and fingers cramping and you’re no longer able to hold the box,  your body is barely able to hold its own weight so you cannot wait to get home.
Just when the elevator doors open and you step in you drop the box and all your stuff splatter on the floor, you fall onto your knees and begin collecting your stuff back onto the box, the elevator doors got too impatient and they immediately closed and you forgot to press the button to the ground floor, and you don’t realize that until you’re half way through the box and it feels like the elevator is not moving.
You’re about to get up onto your feet to click the button but the doors open on their own, and fucking Kim Taehyung enters the elevator. He’s the last person you’d want to see right now.
The first couple of seconds are completely silent but you can feel his eyes on you when he sees you down onto your knees, he puts his hands into his pockets and clicks the button down to the parking lot before the elevator doors close again.
He laughs quietly and watches you for a second before deciding to spit out words that remind you that you shouldn’t feel guilty at all. “Didn’t expect to see on your knees this soon.”
You brace yourself and bite your own tongue to avoid talking back to him because really you’re seconds away from beating him up.
“You know Y/N, I really admire how brave you are.” He starts and you roll your eyes, collecting the last few items and putting them into the box, before getting back up onto your feet. “I know you don’t believe me but I truly do.”
You look up hoping the numbers would go down faster because you can’t tolerate a second longer with him.  “You know what’s the difference between you and me?”
This time he turns to face you and takes a step closer, tugging your hair behind your ear and inhaling your scent for the last time. “You and I are both sluts, but the only thing different between me and you is that I have someone to cover up for me and clean up shit after me, and you don’t.”
You turn and finally face him again with denial, he can’t be a true human being with a heart, you’ve never seen someone like this man, you had a little faith in him that he might actually be nice after all, you thought he’d been taught a lesson after all this that happened but no, he’s both careless and heartless it shocks you.
“You thought you’d win, I feel kinda bad for you.” He sighs, “I warned you, I’ll always be one step ahead of you Y/N.”
This is Kim Taehyung.
The one you met years ago no longer exists, the new whole different version of him now exists and he feels like a fucking epidemic. And even when you lost your job, and the future you had planned for is now long gone too, at least you’re no longer around him.
And even when you couldn’t make justice with your story, someone else will and they’ll get him eventually.
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greenwitchfromthewoods · 4 months ago
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superhero. l Joel Miller
💔 a few ways to break your heart 💔
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Summary:  when words hurt more than anything else
Warnings:  angst, many bad words, he is a asshole, alcohol and pills, ending a relationship
A/N: I did it because I wanted to.
your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes
a few ways to break a heart [masterlist]
It had been a long and hard day, so you were glad it was finally over. As you walked up the creaking stairs to your apartment, all you could think about was taking a shower and going to bed. 
You kept your food stamps in your pants pocket, but you didn't have the strength to think about what you should exchange them for at that moment. You'd deal with that tomorrow, definitely.
You entered the dark apartment. He returned before you. Quietly, so as not to wake him, you went to the bedroom and looked at the bed. He was lying there on his side, deep in sleep. 
Your eyes slid down his broad shoulders and strong back, you smiled gently and reached for the blanket lying on the chair. The blanket was darned and had definitely seen its good times, but you wanted to cover him up and give him some comfort.
It wasn't until you walked up to the bed that you saw it. A half-empty bottle of whiskey and a vial of pills. Your fingers went cold in an instant, and your eyes widened. You put your hand on his chest and sighed with relief feeling his heartbeat, and soon Joel snored softly and the fear slowly drained from you.
"Asshole." you hissed, nudging his arm and throwing the blanket on the edge of the bed.
Joel suddenly and nervously moved. He blinked a few times trying to focus on you, and then looked out the window.
"What kept you?" he croaked, rubbing his sleepy eyelids with his hand.
"Work." you mumbled, taking off your shirt. "But I see I could have come back later. You had a good time."
His gaze wandered to the bottle and he sighed. "Don't be so dramatic." he said, sitting on the bed and putting his feet on the floor. "You're not my fucking mother."
"But I will be the one who finds your decomposing corpse."
"Jesus, do you have to whine all the time?" he shook his head, rubbing his tired face with his hand.
He didn't see your angry gaze, but he felt his skin burning from it. The atmosphere in the room was clearly thickening.
"Whining?" you repeated, irritated, "Oh, wow! I thought we took care of each other, but now I see I miscalculated."
For almost two years, you and Joel had been one team. It was better that way. Safer. Despite Joel's sharp edges, you felt safe with him, but what he did, how he mixed alcohol and drugs, it drove you crazy. 
Sometimes you had the impression that he did it just to tease you, to see how long you could stand it. Things had been bad between you for a long time. And you were getting closer to the edge every day...
"I'm sorry, honey, but I think I'm the one taking care of you."
His voice was slightly amused, but it hit exactly where Joel wanted it. You turned halfway to the bathroom and glared at him.
"You know that if you keep this up, it won't end well." You said quietly.
Joel stood up and stretched. He was a tall man, much stronger than you. But you had no intention of being a meek sheep when the wolf could be ready to attack at any moment. And that was exactly what you saw in his dark eyes. Joel Miller was looking for a fight.
"You're not threatening me, are you?" he asked, smiling. "What else could you do? Throw something at me or scream? Nonsense."
You took a deep breath to calm yourself down. "Listen..." you started slowly. "I've had a shitty day. I don't feel like doing this."
"Oh, my little one had a rough day." Joel sneered, and you bit the inside of your cheek, feeling your heart start to beat faster. "Imagine my whole life being shitty. And on top of that, you come and complain about everything!"
"I just don't want you to fucking kill yourself!" you snapped.
"I don't care what the fuck you want! I just want you to shut up. You have no fucking idea what goes on in my head."
"So tell me!" you exclaimed, taking a step towards him. "Don't treat me like someone... someone..."
He looked at you with curiosity, tilting his head. No words left your lips though. 
What were you supposed to tell him? Who were you to him? Or maybe you just imagined that you and him...?
His voice was low and deep when he spoke again. "You really think you're something more, don't you? Oh, sweetie... That's adorable."
"You're drunk, Joel. I'm not talking to you when you're like this." you interrupted him and were about to head to the bathroom again when he stood in front of you in a few quick steps.
You saw his furrowed brows and clenched jaw as he watched you so that you felt shivers down your spine. It was terrifying.
"The best thing to do is run away, right? After all, that's what you've been doing your whole life." he hissed "And I still have to think about how to keep you safe, how to make sure no infected will tear you apart, how..."
"I can handle it myself too!" you interrupted him loudly "And I was doing it before I met you. Don't think you're my fucking superhero!"
"But I have to think for both of us!" he roared. "And you come and complain because I'm trying to cope with everything! You can't even shut up for a moment." 
You stared at him with wide eyes, unable to understand what had gotten into him. Every next word he threw out hit you and hurt you more and more, and you were unable to defend yourself. It was as if Joel was spitting out everything that had been building up inside him for a long time, and you had to take it.
"I thought we were in this together..." you whispered when he stopped for a moment to catch his breath.
His dark eyes immediately found yours. It was another incentive.
"Together?" he repeated, a mocking smile appearing on his lips. "Together. Oh, sweetie! You really thought that you and me... Oh, fuck!"
He laughed, and you felt a heavy stone sink into your stomach. You weren't ready for this at all. At that moment, you gave him a weapon that he could easily destroy you with.
However, Joel's hand rested on your cheek almost tenderly when the words that hurt you flowed from his lips "You were even bad at fucking, honey. You still have a lot to learn. I didn't want to throw a free pussy out of the house, but you're slowly becoming unbearable. What do you expect, honey, huh? Do you think I love you? Poor thing. You're only good for getting fucked hard and..."
You didn't find out what Joel wanted to say. In an instant, your hand collided with his cheek, and a sharp sound echoed through the room. Your fingers went numb, and Joel's face showed surprise, which slowly began to turn into delight.
"The kitten shows its claws?" he sneered.
"Fuck you, Miller!" you hissed "I'm sick of your bullshit! An old guy talking shit about how bad his life is. We all have shitty lives, Joel! And I'm sick of wasting my time with you!"
"Then go away." he said quietly "The door is open for you."
And he left you standing there, in the middle of the room, with heart pounding in your chest, tears welling up in your eyes. At that moment, you knew you wouldn't be staying in Boston for another minute. 
Whatever was waiting for you outside the walls was better than what you had with him.
redemption : superhero. l Joel Miller
☆☆☆☆
Thank you for your time.
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gingersnap-17 · 1 year ago
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Opposites Attract (Ryomen Sukuna x Fem Reader)
Authors note: I am so sorry I took so long to write another story! I hope you enjoy this one. I noticed a lot of you loved my other Sukuna oneshot, so I am here with another one for you guys! Sukuna once again is a loving husband to his wife, but he still teases her and has his snarky comments. Very fluff filled!!!!!!!!!
Authors note pt 2: Sukuna in this looks like his OG human form, but without the extra arms and eyes. HE LOOKS DIFFERENT FROM YUJI! But yeah, that's how I imagine he looks in this. Also, this is in a modern au with no sorcery.
Word Count: 1470
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In a quiet, modern society, far removed from the supernatural world of curses and sorcery, Ryomen Sukuna was leading a completely ordinary life. He was married to a wonderful woman named Y/N, who was the complete opposite of him in many ways. She was the antithesis of her husband, radiating warmth and kindness wherever she went. Her sunny disposition was like a beacon of light that thawed his icy exterior. Despite his moody and unpredictable behavior, she knew he loved her deeply. She could see it in the way his eyes softened when he looked at her, in the subtle smiles he reserved for her alone. Even when he called her "brat", she knew he meant well.
Their life together was filled with ordinary, everyday moments that were just perfect for the two of them. Ryomen Sukuna's work was demanding, but as soon as he stepped through the door of their cozy home, he was a different man. He shed the weight off the world outside and transformed into a cuddly, affectionate husband. Although his verbal comments didn't change much, the physical transformation showed the other side to this man. The two practically followed each other around the house, sharing meals, watching TV, Y/N sitting with him in the garage while he worked on a project, or simply enjoying each other's company.
One sunny afternoon, Ryomen Sukuna returned home from work, expecting the usual warm greeting from Y/N. However, the house was eerily silent, and he couldn't hear her familiar laughter or the clatter of pots in the kitchen. Concerned, he called out for her, but there was no response.
Worry gnawed at Ryomen Sukuna as he made his way through their home, his search for Y/N intensifying with every step. He finally found her in the bathroom, lying on the floor beside the bathtub. She had slipped and fallen while trying to step out of the shower, and a pained grimace distorted her usually radiant face.
Rushing to her side, Ryomen Sukuna's heart filled with alarm as he gently rubber her shoulders, moving some wet strands of hair out of her face. "Y/N, what happened?" he asked, his voice laced with worry.
Tears welled up in her eyes as she tried to explain through the pain, "I slipped when I got out of the shower. I think I hurt my tailbone. It hurts so much, Ryomen."
 Sukuna's normally stoic demeanor melted away in an instant as he held Y/N close, his worry for her evident in his eyes. "Don't worry, Y/N. I've got you." he whispered softly, his hands cradling her with the utmost care. Gently, he picked her up, walking into their room as he laid her slowly onto their bed.
With a loving tenderness that Y/N had seen countless times in their relationship but never ceased to amaze her, he gently examined her, trying to determine the extent of her injury. He frowned when he realized that her fall had indeed injured her tailbone, the skin around her lower back already starting to bruise and swell. "I will call the doctor and see if he can come over." Before calling the doctor, he got her dried off and dressed in bed, trying to keep her in as little discomfort as he could. 
"I love how quickly you go from 'I hate you brat.' too, 'I love you so much and I am going to take great care of you.'" Y/N said with a small smile.
Ryomen chuckled softly, his eyes filled with both relief and affection as he continued to fuss over Y/N. "Well, it's not every day that my wife takes a tumble in the shower, now is it? I can't have you in pain, Y/N." he replied, his voice laced with sincerity. "And you know I don't hate you, brat. You mean the world to me."
"I know you don't hate me. But 'I hate you brat' just translates to 'I love you' in your own way. I'm right Ryo, I know I am."
Ryomen smiled at Y/N's understanding, grateful that she knew him so well. "You're absolutely right." he admitted, his fingers gently brushing her cheek. "I may not always express it the way you do, but my love for you is immeasurable. You're the best thing that ever happened to me."
As he spoke, he gently brushed a strand of Y/N's hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. The doctor arrived shortly after, and Ryomen stayed by Y/N's side throughout the examination and treatment. Once the doctor left, Y/N was pretty disappointed with the results. "Of course the only way to take care of a broken tailbone is to do nothing! All I can do is take pain medicine and lay in bed!" Y/N said with heavy annoyance in her voice. 
Sukuna couldn't help but chuckle at Y/N's frustration. "Well, it looks like you have a perfect excuse to be pampered now. Just next time, ask me to be pampered instead of slipping in the bathroom, clutz." he teased gently, his fingers tracing comforting patterns on her hand. "But, you can catch up on all those books you've been wanting to read, so that's a plus in a way."
Y/N couldn't help but smile through the pain, her heart warmed by her husband's care and light-hearted teasing. "I guess you're right, Ryo. I'll have plenty of time to catch up on my reading, and I won't have to lift a finger for a while."
"............Nerd." He responded back to her. He wasn't the biggest reader, so he had every right to call her that. 
Y/N playfully swatted his arm, despite the pain in her tailbone. "Well, at least this 'nerd' won't have to worry about tripping over her own feet anymore." she retorted, her eyes sparkling with humor.
Ryomen chuckled and leaned down to place a gentle kiss on her forehead. "That's true. I'll make sure to keep a close eye on you, my accident-prone girl." he said, his voice full of affection.
Over the next week, Sukuna took time off work to spend time with his injured wife. From cooking meals, helping her into the bathroom, or even reading to her when she begged him to do so, he was there for her. 
Their days together turned into a blend of laughter, occasional teasing, and heartfelt conversations. Y/N's injury had brought them even closer, and the constant care and attention from Sukuna made her heart swell with love.
One evening, as they sat on their bed, Y/N couldn't help but reflect on how fortunate she was to have him in her life. "You know, Ryo," she began, her voice filled with gratitude, "I don't know what I'd do without you. You've been my rock through all of this."
Ryomen smiled and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. "And I don't know what I'd do without you either, Y/N. Although we are quite literally opposites in demeanor and personality, I guess the saying that opposites attract is true."
Y/N leaned her head on his shoulder, a contented sigh escaping her lips. "I guess I'm lucky to have a grumpy, moody husband who turns into a big softie when I'm hurt." she teased.
Sukuna chuckled, his hand gently stroking her hair. "Well, you're stuck with me, brat. And I wouldn't have it any other way." After a few moments of sitting together in a comfortable silence, Sukuna looked down at his wife. "You stink. Let me help you shower so you don't slip and fall. Clumsy brat." 
Y/N only rolled her eyes with a soft smile. "You helped me shower the other day, I know I don't stink that bad."
His lips curved into a smirk as he teasingly replied, "You've been in bed for a whole week practically. Yeah you got of bed, but that was to go pee, take a shit, or shower. You definitely stink." He then added more seriously, "But don't worry, I'll make sure you're safe and sound. I've got you."
Y/N chuckled, grateful for his unwavering support and love. "I suppose I can't argue with that. Thanks for taking such good care of me, Ryo." He smiles, responding to her. "It's my job, brat."
As he helped her to the bathroom, they both knew that even though they were different in so many ways, their love was a bond that nothing could break. Y/N's injury had brought them closer, and they were determined to cherish each other for the rest of their days, no matter how opposite they might be from each other. 
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wizzdot · 6 months ago
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The Patron Saint of One Way Trips
Ch4
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Description: chapter 4 - I’m not entirely sure if this is any good. I need to go through and edit it but I’ll do that when I’m closer to knowing what’s actually gonna happen 🤣 we will wait and see! I’ve posted this on ao3 as well - same username and title. I love Wes Anderson, hence the Isle of Dogs theme. Feel that it fits the theme of this fic too. Anyhoo..
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I allow Gaz to lead me to a well lit room. It looks like some sort of living area. Comfortable sofas and carpeted floors. This was totally foreign to me after my time spent in the facility. I felt so out of place. I flit my gaze to Gaz who must notice my discomfort or awkwardness, and he beckons at me to sit down on the sofa. I am still zipped up inside his warm jacket, which smells of a warm vanilla scent mixed with some variation of citrus fruit.. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it is comforting and calming. I try not to make it obvious that I am taking in his scent.
The others are already situated in their seats. I feel all of their eyes itching into my skin. I shrink back into myself again. The pack Alpha, their Captain, clears his gruff throat before speaking. "We have received information from Laswell. She has found your file and is going to send it over as soon as it is secured in the system.. she has told us you are not a direct threat to us. Is this correct, Laika? Can we trust you?"
I feel like scoffing at him. Me? Can they trust me? It's almost laughable that a pack of four huge Alpha's think that I, a drugged, undesignated girl, could threaten them. Not to mention that I am not in the best of shape due to lack of nutrition and poor sleeping habits. "Well..?" he prompts. I met his gaze for the first time since they'd found me. "I pose no threat to you or your pack members, Captain" - I decide to address him officially as pack Alpha. He stands a little straighter than he was before, obviously happy with my answer. I feel a sense of relief wash over me before dropping my gaze back to the floor.
A growl echoes through the silence, the others all looking between each other to find the source of the sound. Their eyes land on me. I can feel my face redden under their scrutiny - my stomach is the source of the growl. "S-sorry" I stutter anxiously. Gaz steps forward slowly and smiles down at me. "C'mon, let's go and get some food. I could eat too." He nods towards the left and I follow the motion with my eyes and see an open door to what looks like a kitchen. I stand up nervously and follow Gaz, taking the widest possible route around the masked man and Soap, still not trusting them.
I step into the kitchen area and Gaz opens the fridge and inspects the contents. "What d'ya like?" he asks. I shrug. "Not really eaten much since- since I've been their asset.. I-I used to like soup though.." - "Soup? Let me check the cupboards. Think we've got tomato.." He moves around the kitchen smoothly, opening and closing cupboards when he doesn't find what he is looking for. I stand in the corner quietly, trying to avoid getting in the way. "C'mere" he beckons me over - "tomato or chicken?" he nods to a stack of four tins -two of each flavour- stacked neatly in the overhead cupboard. "J-just whatever is spare will be nice. Th-thanks" I whisper. "C'mon, love, try to stop being so shy with me.. you can trust me, even if you aren't sure about my packmates yet, yeah? I promise you they're good men underneath their tough exteriors.." he tries to convince me. "S-sorry.. I'll try harder" I murmur. I decide to try and be bold - I step closer to him and look over his shoulder into the cupboard to inspect the tins of soup. "Tomato would be nice.." I utter quietly. Gaz's smile is instant. It lights up the entire room, my eyes drawn to it. Wow - he had beautiful teeth. Sharp canines, gleaming white.. It reminded me that my teeth had been neglected - only able to brush them a couple of times a week when they allowed me to shower. I suddenly find myself feeling self-conscious. I haven't even properly looked in a mirror for at least a year..
I step back again, feeling a little anxious after my inner thoughts had caught up with me. Damn him and his big, perfect smile. And his deep, kind eyes. "How buttery do you want your bread?" The question snaps me out of it. "Butter?.. uhm.. same as you?" I question my own answer. "I've not had butter for ages. Just stale or mouldy bread.." I admit. He sighs sadly, but immediately tries to cheer me up. "You should see how Soap takes his bread. I swear he would use an entire block of butter per slice if he could. It's gross" he says jokingly. I release the smallest giggle at that. He is smiling so brightly now that he knows that he successfully made me laugh. My defences drop for a split second thanks to the growing comfort I am feeling in Gaz's presence, and my mouth blurts out before I can catch it "they scare me..”
Gaz snaps his gaze back down to mine - "What? Who? Soap..? He is harmless" - "and the masked one" I add blushing, anxiously. "That's Ghost - the masked one. He can take a while to warm up to strangers.. he won't hurt you though. Promise" he reassures me. My eyes follow his hand closely as he gently places it on my shoulder, attempting to comfort me, I assume. I try not to tense up or flinch at the soft touch. I just stare at his hand until he slowly withdraws it. I jump slightly when the microwave dings. Gaz pours the soup into a bowl and hands it to me with a plate full of buttered bread. I stand there confused, just staring at the food that I am holding.
"C'mon, hope you don't mind eating on the sofa. We usually just eat off our laps.." he shrugs. "It smells nice.." I compliment, following him as he holds the kitchen door open for me seeing as I had my hands full. I, once again, take the widest route around Soap and Ghost.. I sit down at the very end of the sofa and wait for Gaz to sit in the place next to me, subconsciously using him as a barrier to the outside room.
"What did Gaz make you for tea, lass?" the rich Scottish voice chirped. I jump in my seat slightly. I quietly respond "Tomato soup" without looking at him, remaining hidden behind Gaz's body. Soap leans forward and looks right at me "Smells delicious. Any leftovers, Gaz?" he asks. "Make your own... tins are in the cupboard" - "Awkt, but you made her some.." - "I'm not microwaving soup for you, Soap, piss of mate" - "Fuck sake, ya prick, though we were supposed to be packmates.." The duo go back and forward like this in a light hearted tone for a couple of minutes. "I - I don't mind letting you have this.." I offer anxiously, shakily holding my plate out towards Gaz, feeling guilty that I'd taken their food.
Gaz gently guides the plate back into my lap. "Don't be silly, bug, you haven't even started it and you haven't eaten properly for ages. Get eating!" He instructs, I listen - ever obedient. I gently lift the spoon to my mouth and slurp the soup into my mouth. I swear it's the best thing I've ever tasted. I hum quietly to myself. Unbeknownst to me, Gaz and Soap are watching me with a fond smile on their faces. I eat about half of the bowl, and a slice of bread before feeling utterly stuffed. I slowly lift my gaze from the food and glance at Gaz. "I can't eat any more.." I whisper. "You sure? You've not eaten much.." - "I'm full.." I reassure him. Soap suddenly sits forward in his seat again, making me shrink back slightly again. "Ya done, Lass?" - "mmhmm" I murmer shyly - "Here, hand it over then!" he says keenly. Before I can even process his words, he has leant over Gaz and stolen the bowl and plate from me and was groaning in pleasure at the taste. I blush slightly, embarrassed, that he hasn't even replaced the spoon I had been using. "For fuck sake, Soap, you know she's jumpy. Tone it down a bit - yeah?" Gaz suggests to Soap. "Aye, sorry just starvin' - Sorry wee'yin" he gobbles around a mouthful of bread. I just stare at the scene in front of me, lost for words.
With warm food in my belly for the first time in forever, I start feeling sleepy. I slowly unzip Gaz's jacket, now that I'm warm again, and hand it back to him. "Thanks.." I whisper, placing it on his lap. Gaz tries not to show his disappointment that you are no longer wearing his jacket - his scent. "Are you wanting me to show you to the spare room? Think it's set up ready to use.." he offers. "If that's ok.. I - I don't want to be a hassle.." - "None of that, now.. C'mon, follow me."
I stand and follow obediently again. I enter the hallway after Gaz. The walls are wallpapered with a white floral pattern. It's light and airy. Gaz walks up a set of stairs to an upper level, I follow him closely. He stops on the upper landing and points to the left hallway. "It's the second door on the right. You'll have your own bathroom too." I nod and hesitate before walking independently down the hallway, feeling a little insecure, but deciding to be brave anyway. I get to the door and slowly twist the door handle. I glance back at Gaz who just nods and turns to go back down stairs to join the rest of his pack.
I step into the room and take stock of everything in it. The walls are covered in blue and white striped wallpaper. There is a window on the back wall of the room. I check out the bathroom which is to the right hand side of the room - it has a shower, sink and a toilet, with another smaller window behind it. I step back into the main room and look at the bed. I hesitate before slowly lowering myself down on it. It's soft. I should feel comfortable, but instead I feel exposed. Unsafe. I decide to look around the bathroom again, digging through the cupboards to see what I could use. I find a few toothbrushes, still in the packs, so I remove one and hurry to brush my teeth. It's funny how such a small bit of self care can make me feel cleaner. I decide to strip from my filthy clothes and step into the shower. I turn the water on, accidentally blasting myself with freezing water before it started to heat up. I don't even squeal, being all too accustomed to cold showers. I do, however, moan when the water starts to heat up. I check out all of the soaps and products on the rack in the shower. It all looks like male stuff but I don't care. I absolutely lather myself in it. I repeat it several times over. Lather. Rinse. Lather. Rinse. And so on...
I finally step from the shower when my skin starts to wrinkle. I haven't felt this clean since - well - probably ever! The wall of steam floods the bedroom when I leave the bathroom. I get myself dry and search the chest of drawers for something clean to sleep in. From the looks of the contents inside, it looks like standard military style clothing. I find some dark joggers and a khaki t-shirt. I quickly dress, finding myself having to seriously tighten the drawstring around my waist of the trousers and roll the sleeves up of the long sleeved t-shirt. I climb into bed and pull the covers tightly around me. I toss and turn before finally dozing off.
*Gaz's POV*
I show her the directions to the room she is to stay in, deciding to stay back and let her check it out for herself. Soap had stayed in that room a few nights ago when he pissed everyone off so badly, Ghost decided to punish him by throwing him out of the pack bed for the night. I just hope he had left it clean enough for her. I walk downstairs to the rest of my pack. I sit back down in my space next to Soap, who immediately chucks his legs over me, to rest them on my lap. I massage his legs for him, making him purr. I smile softly at my pack mate.
Price speaks up then. "Kyle - what's going on with the girl then..?" - "She's scared.. terrified. Fuck knows what they've done to her but none of it has been good. I think she is warming up to me though" I reply. He nods in agreement. "Kate sent over her file. It looks like she's been tortured and drugged to comply. Her designation is unknown - but she has been the asset behind all four of the most recent Makarov hits. And several before these too, before we were called up, so she certainly isn't as harmless as she makes out." I find myself nodding too, trying to piece together what all of this means. "Who is she, then?" Soap asks. "Her government name is Y/N Y/L/N - they called her Laika - apparently she was always co-operative, or obedient, I think is the word they used. I guess she was thrashed into submission. They say she is of a gentle, anxious, nature but the drugs helped 'level' her - whatever that means" Price explains.
"Turned her into a puppet, that means. A puppet to do all of their dirty work" I spit back, disgusted and angry. "So the drugs, are they still in her system? Is that why she isn't giving off any scent or signs of her designation?" I ask. "That's something we are going to have to ask her, Kyle. The file mentions that she gets 'topped up' every couple of months when she starts showing resistance" - "Poor girl was trying to fight it" I interrupt Price.
"Don't start getting attached, Garrick." Simon grumbles at me. "Piss off" I snap back.
"I'm tired, let's go to bed, yeah, talk about it in the morning?" I suggest. "Yep, Kyle's right, bed - all of you" Price orders. We all stand and make our way to our room. I glance toward the door of Laika - Y/N's - room and all seems quiet. Hopefully she is sleeping, I think inside my head.
*Back to Laika (Y/N's) POV*
I wake, startled - seeing visions of pools of blood I had been the cause of. Seeing lifeless eyes of those I had killed. I leap out of bed and start feeling my arm for my handkerchief. Shit shit shit. I'd left it somewhere. I slide down the wall panicking, trying to remember where the hell I had put it. All this time at the facility and I'd managed not to lose it. It comes to me all of a sudden. Gaz's jacket. My handkerchief is in the pocket of his jacket. I sneak out of the room and try to quietly tip toe downstairs. The stairs are a bit creaky but being quiet is my speciality. I finally find my way to the room we had been sitting in when I had returned the jacket to Gaz. It wasn't there. My stomach sinks. A single tear falls from my eye. I slump on to the couch and try not to weep. I can't go rooting about looking for it. I will just have to calm myself down and go back to my room. I try to gather myself.
Five, or so, minutes later, I stand and start to make my way back up the stairs. I avoid all of the creaky parts of each stair and successfully make it to the upper landing. I turn toward my room and gently close the door. I fail to notice the dark, masked Alpha, watching my every move. He slinks back into his pack's room, not waking them.
I try to settle back in the bed, failing miserably. I find myself crawling under the bed with a pillow and blanket, feeling safer in an enclosed space. I finally settle into a restless sleep.
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supernaturalfreewill · 2 years ago
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reader gender: unspecified
"Dean? Is that you?" His broad-shouldered silhouette appeared in the doorway. You sighed with relief.
"Yeah, it's me." He paced into the dark bedroom and his duffel bag dropped to the floor with a familiar thud. "Oh, God, it's good to be home."
You sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, and watched him pull off his boots. The next second he was crawling up the bed toward you and flopping down with his arm curling around you securely. "I'm beat," he sighed, sinking into the pillow.
You laughed lightly and ran your fingers through his hair. He leaned into the touch and hummed a content noise. "Babe... don't take this the wrong way but‚ you smell like a wet dog."
He laughed, a deep, gruff sound that you felt reverberate in his chest. He rolled onto his back beside you. "Yeah... sorry... I'm too tired even to shower and there may have been an incident with a bog on the case."
You nodded, rolling closer to him again and resting your head on his shoulder and your hand landing flush in the center of his chest. His hand closed over the top of it in an instant and gave it a gentle squeeze. "That's alright. I don't mind," you said with a laugh. "Sleep. We can shower together in the morning..." You leaned up and kissed his lips softly.
He pulled you in more tightly and kissed you back, hungry for the taste of you. "You know, that really does make a shower more appealing..."
"I thought you were exhausted," you said, quirking an eyebrow at him.
He shrugged. "I am but—you, naked? It's like an instant shot of caffeine." His fingers trailed lightly down your back, following the gentle curve of your spine.
"Sleep, Dean. You can have your caffeine in the morning," you said, kissing him softly again.
He sighed and relished the feeling of you settling in against him. "You're the boss..." Soon, he was asleep.
Prompt: "You smell like a wet dog."
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grilledbroccolli · 1 year ago
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Part 2 of Vampire!reader craves Dan Heng
tbh the titles may not corelate to what I'm writing. As you can see what I wrote is purely self indulgent. Anyways, not a lot of vampire action going on in this one. Description: continuation of part 1 , please read it if you haven't already. This is just mostly Dan Heng taking care of reader Warning: vampire, small wounds, blood?(idk)
Dan Heng has always noticed your fangs and how your eyes would glow a little when you see your crewmate’s wounds after a battle. At first, he thought you are sadistic and a threat to the Astral Express. You refuse to treat wounds or look at blood for longer than 5 seconds. He thinks you’re weird.
“Slow, slow down. I’m all yours.” Dan Heng truly hopes he could relief your hunger.
You soon came back to your senses. You stop sucking on Dan Heng’s wrist and look at the two little holes on his wrist. Horrified to what you’ve done, you push him away.
“Shit! I’m so sorry, Dan Heng. I truly don’t mean to hurt you. I’m so sorry.” You said as your eyes not scrambling everywhere but Dan Heng’s eyes. Your eyes started to tear up.
"Hey hey, shhhh, it's alright. Just drink up." He comforted you as he held out his wrist again.
"Nooo. I can't." You refuse. Both of you go back and forth a few times until Dan Heng got tired of it.
"Ok, you know what, just take a shower." Dan Heng walks to the bathtub behind him and starts preparing a bath for you.
"You know you don't have to do all this, right?"
"You're right. But you are not even taking care of yourself."
"I'm sorry."
"Stop saying sorry." Dan Heng finished preparing the bath and walk to the door. "Take a nice hot bath. I'll leave some clothes at the door. After you're done, go to the kitchen."
As he is about to leave, his thumbs wipe the corner of your mouth that have some of his blood stains on it. "And also... don't fall asleep in the water."
The door shut gently. (What is going on) You messed up. Not only did you hurt him, but also now that you tasted human blood or his blood especially, you can't go back anymore. He tasted so sweet, sweetest of all human blood you've tasted, tastier then any animal blood you've drank. Just thinking about it made you blushed in embarrassment. Before you think too much about what happened, you strip and dip yourself into the hot bath that Dan Heng prepared for you.
After you finished washing up, you wipe yourself dry with the spare towels in the bathroom. You quietly open the door and found some fresh clothes lying by the door outside.
"Why is he so nice to me?" You question yourself. You have never seen him so worried. You never get the impression that he would risk his life to help you. You always wanted to get closer to him, know what he likes and what he taste like. But, you never would have thought that whatever happened would happen.
You stop overthinking and leave the bathroom, heading to the kitchen.
Dan Heng was right at the stove cooking what seems like instant noodles. The microwave is heating somethings up at the same time. The lights are all off, only a single lamp is lighting up the area. Stars can be clearly seen outside the big windows.
"Ah, you're done. Sit down. It'll be ready in no time."
////
Dan Heng place down a heat proof mat and the pot of noodles right in front of you along with a pair of chopsticks and a chinese soup spoon. Not long after, he took a plate out of the microwave.
"Here, eat up. It's not much. These are the leftovers from dinner." He said as he sat down opposite of you.
You haven't had any human food other than drinking Dan Heng's blood just now. Your stomach is starving and hurting like crazy after throwing up nothing but stomach acid.
"Ah wait, darn, I forgot. Here, stomach medicines." He hands you some stomach medicine for soothing your stomach after vomiting. He knew you might throw up again if you don't take care of that fragile stomach of yours right now.
"T- thanks." You take the medicines and start munching down your food. Food had never tasted this good before. Maybe it's because you haven't eaten the entire day or it was made by Dan Heng.
"Slow down, y/n. It's not gonna run away from you. You're gonna choke." Dan Heng gently scolded like a worried mother. As if on cue, you choke on the noodles.
"Jeez, I told you so." He said as he fetch you a glass of water. As you gulp down the water, he gently soothes your back, as if to help with your choking.
"Ah sorry, I can't help it." You said with a sheepish grin. Dan Heng blushed slightly, but it's left unnoticed by you. He suddenly pat your head and clear his throat.
"J- just be careful next time."
////
You finished your late night meal. Dan Heng wash up the dishes. The relaxing sound of running water made you sleepy. Soon later, you fell asleep at the table.
After Dan Heng turn off the sink and wipe down the counters. He turn around and see your head resting on top of your arms, eyes closed, taking in deep breathes. His heart clenches at the sight. Knowing that you had been restless the entire week, you deserve all the rests and his blood. Ah, what have you done to him. He's ears are turning red at the thought. He thought back at the incident in the bathroom. The feeling of your fangs sinking into his skin. The way your tongue would seldomly lick over the wound to make sure not a single drop is wasted. These thoughts made him heat up so much. He starts to feel dizzy, not knowing if it's the recent loss of blood or the thought of you. All he knows is it's all your fault. He glance down on the two little holes you made on his wrist. He thinks it's cute
He sweep you from your chair into his embrace. With one arm under your knee and the other cradling your shoulders. He hoist you up a little to allow your head to rest on his shoulder, making sure you won't fall or feel uncomfortable. He carries you to your room and lay you down. As he is about to leave, you grip on his sleeves.
"Don't go," you whined.
"I'm not going anywhere," he sighed. He had no choice but to sat down beside your bed on the floor, not wanting to lay in your bed without your consent. He stayed awake until he knew you are completely asleep.
Dan Heng stands up from his sitting position and starts to tidy up your bedroom. He picks up all the pillows on the floor and starts to throw out the empty blood bags. He takes the untouched cold tray of food out and clear out the mess you made. After all that, he place a bandage on the wounds and went back into your room. He went back to his previous spot and fell asleep there.
______________________________
There's gonna be a part 3. I still have some ideas left unwritten.
damn i do say so myself i'm cookin good.
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sammysmaddy · 1 year ago
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Normal (Winchesters x Reader) - Part Two
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Summary: Growing up as the baby of the Winchester family led you to be constantly guarded. Soon enough, you start to learn what's normal between families and what's not.
Pairing(s): John x Daughter!Innocent!Reader, Sam x Sister!Reader
Warnings: Incest, naive!reader, manipulation, graphic descriptions of porn, fluff, virgin!reader, oral (female receiving), daddy kink *I guess*, praise kink, soft n fluffy, angst (?), light thigh riding, smut implied 
W/C: 5.7k+
A/N: I forgot I was supposed to be posting this story! Happy almost Thanksgiving to my American followers!
Normal Masterlist
Masterlist
Some time ago...
Things started off innocently. Sam and Dean were at school and you were at the motel doing what you usually did- you read, and read, and read, and read until John walked through the doors. 
You were ecstatic to see him. John had been away for a few weeks too wrapped up in the case to even call home. The look of relief in your father's eyes when he saw you was like no other, he loved you more than anything in the world. 
John took you to lunch, saying it was to make up for all the time he missed with you- not bothering to pull Sam and Dean out of school like he usually did. Things seemed normal all throughout lunch, you chose of course, but things changed drastically when he asked you a certain question during the car ride home. 
"Do you know what sex is?" John asked, looking over to you as he kept a firm grip on the steering wheel. 
Your brows furrowed at the question. It sounded familiar, it really did, but you had no idea what it actually meant. 
"I don't think so," You told him calmly and he let out a low chuckle. 
Judging his reaction, it definitely seemed like something you should know about, so you began to feel a little embarrassed at your lack of knowledge. 
"You mean, your brothers never taught you what it was?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and keeping a small smile on his face. 
You shook your head and he didn't seem particularly pleased or displeased. 
"Normally, by your age, you know what it is. You're already legally an adult." John mentioned.
"So then... does Sammy know about this?" You asked, tilting your head, and wondering why your twin had never said anything about sex.
"I'm sure he does, sweetheart. Caught him with one of Dean's not-so-private skin mags," John chuckled and you scrunched your nose. 
"What's a skin mag?" You asked him and he continued to chuckle at your question. 
"It's pictures of sex. We call it porn," John answered and you frowned, still not knowing what the hell he was talking about. 
"Daddy, I don't know what that is," You reminded him and instead of the instant explanation you wanted, he looked over smiling and shaking his head. 
"God, I wish you could stay little forever," He sighed and you continued to frown, wishing that you knew why this conversation was occurring or why it was so important for you to know about. "When you and Sammy shower together, does he ever touch you?" He asked and his face shifted to concern.
"Yeah, he helps me wash my hair sometimes, but mostly he just uses all of the hot water," You huffed out, crossing your arms, and John shook his head. 
"I meant, does he put his hands on your body?" He reiterated and you shrugged your shoulders, not knowing what he was gaining with these questions. 
"Sometimes he helps me wash my back," You answered and John nodded his head. 
"Do you ever wonder why you have different body parts than him?" He asked and you slumped your face, of course, you wondered why, but you knew that it was just because you were of different sexes. 
"I guess, but Sammy says it's just because I'm a girl and he's a boy," You told him all the information you knew and he nodded his head. 
"So, you know that boys can't get pregnant right?" He asked and you nodded your head. "And you know that boys don't get periods?" He asked again. 
"Yeah, because Sam doesn't get them and neither does Dean. Only I do," You crossed your arms, thinking about how unfair it was that they didn't bleed once a month.
"Okay, well at least you know the basics," John sighed, rubbing at his temples with his fingertips. 
"Is this the part where you tell me what and why we're talking about this? You said you didn't want to talk about when I get my periods," You turned your head to look for his reaction, and he just shrugged his shoulders in return. 
"I don't. It's just- It's just important if we're going to talk about sex," He muttered and you rolled your eyes.
"I don't know what that is," You reiterated, growing more and more impatient by the second. 
"I, uh, I never had this conversation with your brothers. They kinda figured it out on their own," He chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his neck with the hand that wasn't holding on tightly to the steering wheel. 
It wasn't even worth responding to, so you decided to stay silent until he said something else. You could tell that he was feeling awkward, but you weren't- you were just impatiently waiting. 
John looked over and gave you a small smile to which you just raised your eyebrow, then his face straightened and he knew you were waiting for something more. 
"You know what, sweetheart? I think it just be better if I showed you."
•••
He dragged himself in and out of her at an excruciatingly slow pace. His eyes were locked into hers as his forehead began to form sweat beads, panting like he was running a marathon. 
Their lips connected and their tongues ran against each other as he continued to move above her. When he pulled his lips back, she had her mouth parted slightly, close to tears falling out as she cried out profanities. 
But she wasn't actually upset and he wasn't actually hurting her, they were enjoying it- John made sure you knew that.
You stared at Sam's computer in awe, they were so in love with one another- so happy to be together like this. You didn't understand what was so awkward about it, you were confused as to why you had never seen anything like this before- confused as to why you had never done it. 
They both looked so pretty like this, so close together and in complete and utter bliss. She was gorgeous, her breasts were perfectly symmetrical- almost like she was handcrafted. Her lips were stained with red and her body was glistening in the bright lighting that infected the room. 
He had the perfect body too, big strong arms that held onto her like she was a breath of fresh air. His chest was chiseled flawlessly and he reminded you of John and your brothers, they were all just as handsome as he was. 
"Remember: You only do this with people you love," John reminded from behind you, watching you closely as you reluctantly peeled your eyes away. 
"I can do this with Sam?" You asked as your eyes reached his. 
John frowned at your question and you grew impatient as your excitement only grew.
"I love him. How come we don't have sex?" You questioned again and John's face fell into the palm of his hand, his fingertips rubbing harshly against his temples.
"Sweetheart, you don't do that kind of stuff with your brothers," John answered with a sigh, picking his head up to look back at your confused stare. 
"Oh, right. That's her Daddy. I almost forgot." You said and his eyes widened.
"I think you've had enough for today," John cleared his throat and his hand reached over you to stop the video playing in the background, but your hand reached his first. 
"Daddy, don't turn it off. I like it," You told him with a small smile, his wide eyes staring at you as you watched his Adam's apple move up and down as he gulped. 
John nodded his head slowly, bringing his hand back to rest at his side, and you turned your head to watch the screen again. 
You stared intently as you began to focus on all of the sex happening right in front of your eyes. She sounded so pretty every time he shoved himself fully inside of her. He was grunting and telling her how much of a slut she was and at first it confused you- it was a bad word and Dean used it negatively when he didn't like someone. So why did she seem so happy to hear the mean name? 
After watching the first few minutes, you discovered she actually liked being called slut. She kept saying yes yes yes, and it only made him go faster, which in return made her cries louder. Her begging was like music to your ears, and for a second you began to imagine yourself in her position. 
What if someone made you feel that good? What if they made you so happy that you were screaming in pleasure? 
Thinking about being her brought out a feeling that you had never felt before. First it gave you the chills and you had goosebumps prickling on your skin. Then you started to feel it in your stomach- almost like period cramps, but in a good way. 
After that, having pants on almost seemed uncomfortable, especially after feeling a new type of wetness in your panties. You watched as he dipped his head down to kiss her again, so passionate and raw, and it made you jealous. 
"Why don't you kiss me like that?" You snapped your head around to look at John. 
His face became flushed and it took a few seconds for him to respond back- which were mostly incoherent mumbles. 
"Don't you love me, Daddy?" You asked and he instantaneously jerked his arm away as you absentmindedly placed a hand on it. 
"I do love you, baby, I do. I just- they're not real. I didn't mean to- uh, they're not related." John managed to muster out, obviously flustered by your comments. 
"She kept calling him Daddy," You frowned, once again thinking about how much you wanted to be in her position. 
"I know, sweetheart. It was just the first video I clicked on. I wanted to get this over with." He sighed and it hurt your heart that he didn't want to do it with you. 
What if he didn't love you enough to do those things? What if Sam or Dean didn't love you enough? 
"Don't be sad, Y/N. It's just a video." John said, picking up on the sudden mood change, and reaching over to cup your cheek. 
Usually, it would make you feel better- it's something that he always did when you were upset- but it was different this time. 
"You don't love me enough for sex," You said, pushing his hand away and looking down. 
John had put you through all of this trouble of telling you about it- even showing it to you, and now he was going to deny the pit you felt in your stomach? 
"Y/N, you didn't even know what it was thirty minutes ago. You're not ready to have sex," John said in a quiet tone and you continued to frown.
Why was he being like this? Why would he show it to you if that's not what he wanted?
"I'm ready. I want to be like her, Daddy. The video made me feel things." You told him honestly, gaining the courage to look back up at him. 
Just as your courage regained, you could tell that his was suddenly gone. He looked as pale as a ghost as he swallowed down whatever liquid was in his throat. 
"What kinds of things, princess?" John asked nervously, almost sounding like he was guilty of something. 
His eyes were locked on yours and you couldn't help but feel like you might be able to break him. A perk of being Daddy's little girl was getting whatever you wanted. 
"I don't know how to explain it," You bit down on your bottom lip, trying to explain the way your core was aching for something. 
"It's called being horny. It's natural," He chuckled nervously, a light sweat breaking out on his forehead. 
"Do you feel it too?" You asked, seeing the way that his pants were tightening around his lower region like a tent. 
"Fuck, sweetheart," He sighed aloud, and your eyes watched as his hand pressed against the crotch of his pants.
"I want to be like her, Daddy," You confessed as your eyes began flickering up and down between his face and his legs, not sure which was a prettier sight.
The sweat and the bulge were both good indicators that he was ready to do things that were in the video, you just knew it. With a sudden whiff of confidence, your hand reached back and landed on his thigh, rubbing circles with your fingers. 
John didn't say anything. He didn't move either. You watched closely as his pants became more restrictive and it was evident that your hand on his thigh was doing something for him. Smiling at the reaction, you looked back up to him and saw an unusual darkness in his eyes. 
It came as a surprise when his hand came to meet yours and you expected him to move it away, but instead, he trailed it higher. Your fingers traced the rough denim material until they landed in between his legs. A small groan left his lips and you grinned at the sound because of how much it resonated with the guy in the video. 
After your hand sat there for a few seconds and you admired how hard he felt underneath you, he stood up without warning. You frowned, wishing that he never moved. 
Sighing aloud, John looked down at you as you looked up at him through your lashes. His hand came up to rest on your cheek as his thumb lightly brushed your bottom lip. 
You held onto his hand, relishing any touch that came to your body, and just as soon as it began, it ended. He pulled his hand back and you watched as he walked towards the opposite side of the room. 
"Come here," John commanded in a low and gruff voice, sitting on the edge of the unmade motel bed. 
You weren't sure whether to be eager or concerned as you stood up from your chair and made your way to him. His arms opened up as an invitation and you straddled his hips, lazily hanging your arms on his shoulders as you began to realize how intimately close the two of you were. 
You looked down, feeling instant relief as you pushed the weight of your core on him. It wasn't much, but even through your jeans and his, you could feel how good he felt pressed against you. His fingers came to the bottom of your chin and motioned your head up so that he could look at you. 
"Are you sure you want to do this?" John asked, his eyes begging for you to say yes as his arms wrapped around your waist. 
"Yes, Daddy. I love you," You confirmed, breathlessly waiting for him to do something to relieve the rapidly burning coil in your stomach. 
John's lips connected with yours as soon as he got his answer and you tried your best to copy his movements. It was effortless when your mouth began to move in sync with his. Each time his tongue reached into your mouth you felt like you knew exactly what to do. 
His lips felt like soft pillows every time they ran against yours- he was so perfect, you wanted to make him happy just like the guy was in the video. You chased his mouth as it pulled away, but didn't complain when you felt the wet kisses on your neck. 
John was sure to be careful as he took his time, giving you soft and warm kisses all along the crook of your neck, occasionally stopping to nip at your ear. 
Your fingers raked their way through John's hair and you heard him groan when you shifted your hips in an effort to get more comfortable. His fingers reached down, pulling the fabric on your torso over your head. 
You felt the goosebumps on your skin in reaction to the colder air and you traveled his gaze to your breasts. John brought his hands up, cupping through your bra and marveling at the sight in front of him. You took the initiative to reach around and unclasp your simple cloth covering, letting it slide down your arms and shoulders as your nipples hardened. 
"You are so beautiful, sweetheart," John said breathlessly, his eyes completely focused on the stiff peaks in front of him. 
Your cheeks swelled with his approval and you moaned when he brought his mouth to one of your breasts, tweaking the nipple with his tongue and running small circles around its entirety. Something about the way he was sucking made your core itch for attention, so your hips pressed up as close to him as possible. 
John moaned against your breast, his lips ghosting the skin on your chest and latching around the other nipple, treating it just as well as its predecessor. 
His hands trailed down the sides of your body, reaching the middle, and undoing the button on your jeans before encouraging you to stand up. As you raised, he slowly pulled your jeans down and let his fingertips touch your skin as they moved south. 
When the denim was pooled around your ankles, you held onto his shoulder for support as you kicked them off lightly. 
"Sit back down, Y/N," John told you and you followed directions. 
Straddling his hips once again, feeling much less constricted, he gripped tightly onto your sides. He shifted you slightly so that you rested completely on his thigh, instead of in between, and began to move your body back and forth. 
Small whimpers fled your mouth as you felt the friction rubbing against your aching core, it felt so unfamiliar and foreign to your body- but it felt so good. 
"Feel good, princess?" You heard John chuckle lightly, as his hands continued to move you. 
The wetness from your panties was sure to have made its way out, but you didn't care. Being like this with him like this felt so good. 
"Daddy, I want to make you feel good too," You told him, looking back into his eyes. 
John's hand reached up and brushed a stray hair away from your face, smiling at you. 
"Let Daddy make you feel good first," He answered in return and you nodded your head. 
His lips collided with yours as his grip on your hips tightened, picking you up and laying you flat on your back. He continued to kiss you passionately as he hovered above you, his hand reaching down and dipping into your soaked panties. 
You felt him smile into the kiss as his fingers easily glided through your slick and you moaned every time they would ghost against your clit. 
"You're so wet for me, baby."
"Is that a good thing?" You asked him and he chuckled at the question. 
"A very good thing," He told you and you smiled with the praise. 
Placing a quick peck on your lips, he adjusted himself so that his knees were on the ground. His fingers hooked into the waistband of your soft cotton underwear, pulling them down, and encouraged your thighs to open more. 
John brought his calloused thumb up to work small circles on your bundle of nerves and you moaned at the feeling. Everything that he did made you feel more and more relieved, you could practically feel how much he loved you. When you situated yourself on your elbows so you could see what he was doing, he looked up at you. 
"Can Daddy taste you?" He asked, licking his lips, as he looked directly into your eyes. 
"Please," You squeaked out, feeling hot and bothered and needing as much of him as you could get. 
Watching as his head disappeared in between your legs, you bit your lip as his tongue trailed once up your slit and collected as much wetness in his mouth as possible. You could hear his groaning in approval just before he began to delve into your core again. 
Not bothering to suppress your satisfaction, you moaned as his tongue flicked itself over and over on your clit, bringing out a type of burn that you'd never felt before. 
You could feel your core heat up as he relentlessly attacked you with his tongue, alternating between circling and flicking, perfectly timing when one or the other became too much or dull. He began to suck down lightly, pulling more moans out of your throat, and you felt the uneasiness in your stomach waiting to spill itself. 
Your fingers locked themselves in his short hair, gaining a grunt from him as he began to go faster with his motions. His tongue was hammering your sensitive bud at a furious pace, leaving you a moaning mess as something suddenly snapped inside of you. 
"Daddy," You whined when he didn't stop. 
Your hips buckled and your thighs tried to shut themselves as John's hands wrapped around and held you down. He kept the pace as he helped you get through whatever it was that just happened. Once he was satisfied, he came to the surface, leaving your legs shaking. 
"What was that?" You asked him, panting as you tried to stop your legs from moving on their own. He continued to hover above you.
"That was an orgasm, sweetheart," John told you before placing a tender kiss on your lips. You could taste yourself when his tongue reached into your mouth, moaning at how satisfied and happy he seemed to be. 
•••
Things were never the same after that day. John insisted on not taking your virginity until he was sure it was going to be special. He wanted the whole candle-lit dinner and the rose petals on the bed, but mostly- he wanted it not to occur in a shitty motel. 
John wanted the whole nine yards just for you and as much as you wanted that too, you didn't really care about the fine details. You wanted him as soon as you could get him and you didn't care what the circumstances were, even if that meant losing your virginity in a crappy motel where the beds creaked.
Plans were whisked away from the two of you, a hunt would come up or Sam and Dean would stick around for too long. It almost seemed impossible to find the 'right' time. 
In between, John helped you learn different things that surrounded sex. You could only assume that those acts were just as satisfying as the real thing, but it only made you crave him more. 
You were so eager to please John and he seemed to feel the same way about you, making you feel more special than Sam or Dean ever felt. Everything just made so much sense, everything seemed so perfect. 
It was hard to contain yourself around your brothers, but John wanted to keep your relationship a secret. You didn't understand why. Why wouldn't he want to show Sam and Dean how happy he made you? Was he embarrassed? Were you not good enough to boast about?
Those questions didn't matter in the middle of the night when he would steal you away to his truck. Every bliss-filled night brought a euphoric feeling that lingered for the following days... but then he would leave. Again. 
It became a routine. Things would seem so hopeful that maybe in a few days, he would be able to steal you away for the night- make it special, but those plans seemed almost hopeless as the weeks went on. 
The hunts became more frequent, especially after Sam came home from school, and John wanted both of his boys as strong as possible- so he chose to hunt by himself most of the time. 
John also became a bit hunt-hungry, losing days of sleep and trying his best to find the monster that killed your mother. It was consuming him and John only really ever seemed to be at peace when he was with you- when you helped suck out every ounce of worry from his soul. 
But a strange guilt was burning slowly in your core. Sam was the one person you trusted in your entire life. The one person you could trust with your secrets, the one person you could trust to be on time, the one person you could trust to be there for you. 
When Sam would come home from school and tell you about his day, or come back from a small day hunt with Dean, you would have nothing to say to him. 
You weren't reading like usual, you were too busy with John or learning new things from porn. You weren't supposed to tell Sam and it ate at you every day. 
It hurt to keep something so special and important away from him. You've told him everything since the moment you could talk- the only saving grace was that he was keeping things from you too. 
First, it started off with him not telling you about sex or what it was. Then, it turned into getting girlfriends that he wouldn't tell anybody about. He was hiding things from you for the first time in your life and you didn't understand why. 
Was he upset with you? Did John say anything to him? Or was he just growing apart from you? 
Showers seemed to be less fun for the past three months. Sam barely talked to you. He barely cracked a joke, he didn't even turn the water cold on purpose to make you squeal. It was just a shower now. You got in, you washed your hair, he washed his hair, you washed your body, he washed his body, and then you both got out. 
Sam wasn't the same Sam that you knew and loved, but you tried your best not to notice.
It was another day. Another boring and quiet shower. Sam hogged all of the water while you focused on trying your best to be normal. 
To be honest, you were upset. All of these months, waiting for him to say something. You were waiting for Sam to explain why he was acting so strangely, but he didn't. 
Sam closed himself off from everybody and every shower that remained silent, other than the casual 'pass the shampoo' that seared into your heart. Maybe Sam didn't love you as much as he used to. Maybe he found someone else. 
You couldn't hold it in anymore- you couldn't live without knowing what was going on in Sam's head. 
"Are you okay?" You asked Sam quietly. He just shrugged his shoulders in return. 
Sam muttered 'I'm fine' and nodded his head, turning back to finish washing his hair. You frowned, knowing that he was probably not fine, and continued to pry. 
"Sammy, please. Just talk to me." You frowned, watching the soapy water fall down his back.
"Talk to you about what?" Sam asked in return, bitterness in his voice that shocked you to your core. 
His tone definitely showed you that he was upset about something, and it hurt to know that he was bottling it in himself. You trembled when he snapped, shivers running down your spine that brought you to cross your arms, and you watched the way he glared at you when he turned around. 
It hurt especially because it was the same glare he often gave your father. It was the same hatred in his eyes and you didn't know what you did to deserve it. 
"Y/N, I'm not angry. I promise. I'm sorry for scaring you." Sam must have picked up on your hurt as his face slumped into concern, placing his hand on your arm. 
You immediately pulled away as Sam continued to look at you sympathetically. 
"I just wished you talked to me, that's all," You replied quietly.
"Yeah, well, I wished you talked to me too," Sam muttered in a voice so close to a whisper you almost couldn't hear. You decided to look back up at him. 
"That's what I'm trying to do, Sam," You told him just as softly as before, looking into his soft eyes. 
Sam gave you a small smile out of courtesy, and you could tell it was hurting him just as much as it was hurting you. 
"I just feel like you are avoiding me. Like you don't want to tell me what's going on in your life anymore." You admitted.
"What about you?" Sam scoffed and you raised an eyebrow at him. "I mean, you don't talk to me about your life. Why should I?" He asked, crossing his arms. 
"I don't go to school anymore and I barely leave the motel. There's not much to say," You sighed, frowning at how his aggressive switch was flipping on and off with each comment. 
Sam didn't get upset with you often, but most of the time he was irrational and tended to say things that he didn't mean. 
"Just- just tell me about a book you've read recently," Sam struggled to get out and you shrugged your shoulders. 
"Um, okay. I read The Little Prince recently. The guy in the story crashed in the Sahara desert and-" You were quick to explain. 
"You told me about that book months ago, Y/N," Sam cut you off with hints of a low growl. You furrowed your eyebrows and tried to reach his eyes as they ran away from yours. 
You hadn't read it in a while, but, it was the most recent book you had read- that part was true. The truth about what had been preoccupying your past few months was a secret, a secret that John didn't want anybody to know about. 
For a second, you thought about telling the truth- maybe Sam would be happy to hear about it. Happy that John loved you so much. Happy that you weren't sitting at home miserable every day. 
Ultimately, you decided that you didn't want to upset your father. What if he stopped whatever it was that was going on between the two of you? That, in addition to Sam and Dean, was the only thing that ever made you truly happy around here, and you didn't want to take it for granted. 
"I, uh, I reread it. It's a great book," You lied, this time trying to look away without being too conspicuous. 
It hurt every part of you to lie to Sam like this, especially because you were lying about one of the most important things in your life.
You never lied to Sam, ever. When he didn't say anything back, it ate you completely. The guilt you felt was pounding in the back of your throat. It only took you a few moments of silence to realize that you couldn't take it anymore.
"Sammy, I'm- I'm lying to you." You told him, feeling a rush of relief flood your body as you looked down to the ground.
"I know, Y/N," Sam told you quietly and you nodded your head, the guilt vacuuming back into your body. 
This is why you shouldn't have lied to him in the first place. He knew you so well, too well to let anything slip by. 
"Do you want to tell me the truth?" He asked softly, bringing his fingertips to your chin so that you could look back up at him. 
You nodded your head, tears threatening to spill out of your eyes as he looked at you with so much care- something you missed dearly from him. 
"I- I can't." You told him, jerking your head to look anywhere but at him. 
You loved Sam more than any person in the world, but this was something that you needed to keep from him.
"Because Dad said you can't?" Sam asked you and your eyes shot up to look at him, widened at full capacity. 
He knew. That's why he was so upset. That's why he didn't talk to you, why he closed himself off from everybody. But, why? Why did he seem so upset about it? If Sam knew, why hadn't he brought it up sooner?
"It's okay, Y/N, really. It's okay, you can tell me the truth." Sam told you, pulling you close as you frowned into his chest and began to let your mind run. 
What if John found out you told him? Would he not want anything to do with you anymore? Even though the shower was still running against the both of you, the only wetness you could feel were your tears. 
"He's going to hate me, Sammy," You told him, sniffling as you pulled back to look at him. His arms were lazily hung around your torso as he stared down at you with soft eyes. 
"Y/N, did he hurt you?" Sam asked softly, gripping your waist tightly and gently forcing you to keep focused on him. 
"What?" You asked, furrowing your brows as you noticed that Sam seemed to look sad. "No- no, he didn't hurt me. Why would he hurt me?" You questioned again and his grip loosened around you, looking just as confused as you did. "Are you upset?"
Sam took a few seconds to answer, head shaking a confused expression formed on his face. 
"I, uh, no- I'm not upset. I just thought-" He trailed, seeming to be at a loss for words. "I just thought he was hurting you."
"Daddy would never hurt me," You gave him a small grin, shaking your head at the silly comment. "Sammy, he's made me very happy." You purred, feeling his body tense as your fingers glided up and down his sides. 
It was a small chance that you took- if he wasn't upset... then maybe he was happy. Maybe he was just jealous this entire time.
•••
Next Part
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upon-a-starry-night · 11 months ago
Text
Self Care Natasha One-Shot
Request: " Nat is feeling achy after a mission and uses some fancy Shield tech to clone herself and give herself a back massage. It would get smutty from there"
~~
Natasha Masterlist Main Masterlist
Paring: Natasha Romanoff x Herself
Words: 2k
Request? Yes/ No
Warnings: Smut, selfcest I guess?
Summary: Exhausted after a mission, Nat does what she has to do to release some stress
--------
To say Nat was exhausted would be an understatement. The mission wasn’t that much harder than usual but it took more days than she’d been expecting it to and by the time she was done and on the way home her body was sore in more ways than one.
The uncomfortable quinjet seats weren’t helping either. She was going to yell at Tony as soon as the tension in her back eased up. Stretching her arms above her head, she groaned at the knots she could feel digging into her shoulders. 
At this point, a warm shower wouldn’t even be enough. There had to be something she could do to ease the aching in her spine or the other Avengers were going to be dealing with a very frustrated Nat for the rest of the week.
As soon as the quinjet landed Nat was making her way to her room, eager to find a solution and avoid any trainees who wanted to talk to her. S.H.I.E.L.D. Needed to evaluate their training if newer recruits kept leaving training to come fangirl of her and her other Avengers.
The thought stops her in her tracks. She remembers hearing something about a new training assist gadget Tony helped invent to help the recruit train. Something about cloning them so that they could fight themselves and see where they went wrong and how to improve. She’d never really paid any attention to it when it was brought up but now it might be of use to her.
Changing her course, Nat heads straight for the tech room. The doors slide open easily for her considering her full access to every single room. She sifts through the piles of papers filled with various weapon ideas until she finds the one she’s looking for.
The T.T.A.C. or the Tactical Training Assist Cloner. She rolls her eyes. Obviously, Shield named this weapon, Tony would have come up with something less practical. 
She finds the weapon code and types it into the keypad on the back wall, watching as the wall spins past a few other weapons before landing on the T.T.A.C. 
It’s smaller than she imagined. There’s a small handheld gadget with a needle on the end and a small round mechanical disk with a button next to it. She grabs both items and the paper with the weapon info and takes them both back to her room. 
She doesn’t bother telling anyone or leaving a note, she knows the cameras will see that she took it and she doesn’t plan on using it for long. If anyone had a problem they could take it up with her.
Once inside of her room, she reads the instructions carefully before following them, groaning as she places the metal disk on the floor. She hoped this worked, she needed some instant relief.
She places the disk on the floor and presses the button, stepping back as the disk opens up and transforms into a small raised platform, big enough for one person to stand on.
Next, she pricks her finger with the needle thing and lets the blood drop onto the raised platform. Immediately it begins to glow a light blue and various mechanical sounds are filling up her room as the platform analyzes her DNA.
She doesn’t bother to understand how it works, if she did she’d probably get a headache but she can’t hide her surprise when a minute later an exact clone of her takes shape on the platform. It’s in a standard Shield training uniform and she realizes that must have been programmed in.
The clone just stands there staring blankly, according to the instructions it would remain docile until given instructions. Nat, however, would not be using it for training. It was time to test how well this thing listened and how much of a clone it really was.
“Clone, register command” 
The clone locks eyes with Nat and stands a little straighter, waiting for a command. She resists the urge to shiver, it’s a little eerie but she wasn’t about to complain if it was going to do her a favor.
“I need a massage so that I can be ready to get back into the field as soon as possible, can you do that?” She doesn’t know why she feels the need to justify her actions. Maybe it was something about talking to herself.
The clone gives a small nod and she realizes they must not have the ability to speak yet. She supposed they don’t need to speak when they’re only built for physical training but it’s something for them to look into later.
“Do you know what to do?” The clone gives another short nod and Nat removes her shirt so that she’s just in her sports bra. If this clone was really her, hopefully, it would know all the spots she needed to ease the most tension.
She lies down on her bed on her stomach, moving a pillow under her chin so she’s more comfortable. Her gaze drifts behind her when she hears shuffling and she keeps her eyes glued to her clone as it climbs onto the bed and settles onto her thighs. The pressure is light and for a second she’s worried this will be too soft of a massage but she realizes if they can throw punches in training they can probably give decent massages.
Her head settles back onto the pillow and she closes her eyes the second the hands begin digging into her back. The pressure is incredible and the clone is hitting all the exact spots she was aching in.
The clone presses its hands deeper into her shoulders and she releases a sigh as the pressure gets kneaded out. If she had known it was going to feel this good she would have done this sooner.
She resists the urge to moan as the clone hits a particularly deep knot in her back. Perhaps she could be in for more than just a back massage. The rest of her body could use the release.
Something about the feeling of her own hands digging into her feels uniquely intimate and the deeper they dig into her the more she feels herself getting turned on. 
She’d been so busy on the mission and spending the weeks before that preparing that she hadn’t had the time to relieve some of her stress. Only now was she realizing just how wound up the coil in her body felt
Without her even asking, the clone begins massaging its way down the rest of her body once her back is done. The rough fingers digging into her thighs do nothing to stop the growing heat between her legs.
She’d never thought about this situation before but now that she was here… who would know her body better than herself? All the best spots, all the things that made her come undone.
Feeling herself clench at the idea she decides there’s no harm in it if it helps her relieve some stress. Plus she would be helping the system learn how to read body language better.
Turning herself over, she watches as the clone quickly adapts, massaging up and down her calves and feet. She almost doesn’t want to tell it to stop but the idea of a better release spurs her on.
“Register command” The clone stops its actions and finds her eyes once more. There’s a heady look in its gaze and she wonders if it’s copying her facial expression or just reacting to the situation.
Slowly, Nat slides her hand down her chest, Stopping at her nipples to roll them between her fingers. She throws her head back at the sensation but her eyes stay on the clone whose gaze remains locked on her. The sight of herself just watching turns her on even more and has her hand traveling further down her body.
She slips her pants off her legs as the clone hovers over her.
Sliding her hand between her thighs she lets her fingers drift between her folds, working their way up and down through the wetness that had already begun to form. She noticed the way the clone's eyes drifted down to what was happening between her thighs, despite the fact that the clone was supposed to stay stoic and stare at her until a command was received. Interesting.
Eager to test her own skills, Nat stops her ministrations and gives control over to the clone. She doesn’t bother stating a command, wanting to see if it will act on its own.
The clone reacts immediately, placing its hand over Nat’s unmoving fingers. Instead of moving Nat’s hand out of the way, however, they begin moving Nat’s hand for her, repeating her earlier actions of dragging her fingers through her folds.
They continue at an agonizingly slow pace, trying to draw out and prolong her release. It’s something Nat had done to herself a few nights when she had the time. Trying to savor the feeling of pleasure for as long as she could.
Eventually, the clone drags Nat’s hand to her clit and languidly circles the bud. Shutting her eyes, Nat moans at the feeling, letting the clone set an even pace as it uses her own hand to pleasure her. 
She can already feel the pressure building in her core, however, and she’s desperate for more than what the clone is giving her. She knows her body best so why wasn’t the clone doing more? It’s then she realizes that the clone wasn’t touching her on its own because it hadn’t been permitted to. 
“Touch me” Green eyes snap to meet hers and the clone doesn’t bother nodding to confirm it received the command. Instead, it pushes away her own hands from her heat and replaces them with its own. The hands feel the same, if only a little colder, and the clone wastes no time in touching Nat.
One hand crawls up Nat’s abdomen until she reaches her nipple, rolling it between their fingers. The other decides she’s wet enough for more and slides a finger into her heat, slowly pumping it in and out and watching Nat’s face for a reaction.
Nat throws her head back, moaning in pleasure. This is what she was looking for. This was exactly what she would be doing by herself but now she had the chance to relax and let herself be taken care of.
The clone starts pumping faster, adding another finger when she was ready and moving the hand from Nat’s breast down to her clit, rubbing swift circles as Nat continues to moan. 
Nat can already feel the coil of her release begin to wind up. Her clone reaching her g spot with every thrust of their fingers. She brings her own hands up to her breast, massaging them as she watches her clone lean down towards her core. 
Before she can process it, she’s moaning at the feeling of their tongue lapping at her folds. The long wet strokes mixed with the rapid pace of their fingers have her on the edge of her orgasm already. And when the clone moves to suck on her clit she covers her face as her body spasms in pleasure. The clone slows their movements but doesn’t stop, letting her ride out her orgasm until she finally bats their hand away.
She lays on her bed with her arm over her eyes as she processes what just happened. She was right in her thought that her clone would know the ins and outs of all of her body's pleasure. When she finally removes her arm she sees the clone staring at her with the same heady look as before. These things must be programmed with infinite stamina. 
The thought leaves a smirk on her face. It wouldn't hurt to borrow this thing for a couple more hours
A/n: I hope I made this the way you imagined- it's my first time writing smut! ~ Starry
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the1975attheirverybest · 8 months ago
Text
Cry For Me
The poll has spoken! Sub Matty it is.
Warnings: kinky smut. Not proofread.
——
She felt Matty’s hand inch closer to hers from across the couch, his skin brushing against hers lightly, giving her a tickle. He pretended to keep his attention fixed on the TV, but, out of the corner of his eye, he watched her face for a reaction. She’d managed to hide her smiles initially, but the more she thought about keeping a straight face, the harder it got. Finally, she burst into a fit of laughter, shaking her head at him.
“What’re you doing to me?” She scooted closer to him.
“Literally nothing!” He batted his eyes at her.
She climbed into his lap, straddling him, and pushing center directly against his. Their faces were now inches apart.
“Hi,” she whispered, brushing her lips against his before locking them in a kiss.
The shampoo scent of his recently towel dried, disheveled hair and his aftershave, fresh out of the shower, filled her lungs and spurred her on. She’d come to associate that scent with him; with home.
Matty whined when her lips parted from his.
“Missed you.” He mumbled.
Up close, the exhaustion was written all over his face.
“Yeah, it’s been a while since we’ve had time to ourselves hasn’t it?”
“Mhm.”
She held his face in her hands, kissing him softly. “But you’ve had a long day.”
He nodded.
“Maybe we could plan a date night for this weekend or something. Go out to dinner. Just us.”
“Oh, I had a slightly different vision in mind for this weekend, but I don’t mind.” Matty’s arms wrapped around her waist, squeezing her closer.
“Oh? Do tell….”
He giggled, shyly, bringing their lips together again.
“Well,” he kissed her. “I was thinking….you, me, in bed. pizza, sex.” He leaned in for another kiss. “More pizza. More sex. You get the idea.”
Her eyes were fixed on his face but she seemed to be elsewhere. As if not hear him, she mumbled, “fuck, you look so good right now. It only makes me want to ruin you.”
“Please ruin me.” His response was instant and eager.
“Oh, we’re in that kinda mood, are we?”
Matty nodded, blushing.
“Alright then. Why wait until the weekend.” She rolled off his lap, getting off the couch and standing up with her arm stretched over to him. “Let’s go to bed, my love.”
***
“Hmm,” she looked down at the bedside drawer, surveying its contents. “What do I want to do to you tonight?”
“Anything you want. I’ll be good, I promise.”
She chuckled, reaching into the drawer to retrieve handcuffs and a blindfold. “Well, you see, Matty, what I want is to make you cry.”
“Oh.”
With his wrists tied above his head and his eyes covered, he was now all hers to do with as she pleased. She could do whatever she wanted to him, and yet, what she chose was to shower him with kisses. Beginning, deceptively, with his face and nose; Matty relaxed at the feeling of her delicate lips kissing him softly. Soon, though, she had made it down his jawline and his neck, her touch growing harsher, and Matty feeling needier. She nipped and sucked at his skin, vowing to mark him up, to remind him that he’s hers. Her fingers deftly circled his nipples as she made her way down his body, eliciting an involuntary moan from him. She kissed his tattoos, one by one, hungrily, biting at the skin above his hip, causing him to jolt and moan out her name.
A desperate Matty breathed a sigh of relief when he felt her finally hook her fingers into the band of his underwear, pulling it swiftly off of him.
“Hard already,” she whispered, smiling.
“Mhm. Please- please touch me.”
“I am touching you.”
Ignoring his request completely, she went on to kiss and bite the insides of his thighs, he hands gently caressing his legs, touching him everywhere except where he needed it most.
“I think I’m gonna get myself off.” She announced, several moments later as she left the bed to go back to their drawer of toys.
Matty gasped and bit his lip, a bit too hard, drawing blood, when he suddenly felt her hand around his cock. She squirted a generous layer of lube over him, lathering it on before lining his cock up with her cunt and getting ready to ride him.
“B-b-baby? Can I watch? Please? Wanna see you please?”
“Nope.” She moaned as she felt him stretch her out.
“Could I, erm, fuck! Could I touch?” Matty rattled his cuffed hands against the headboard to remind her that she’d restrained him cruelly.
“Nope.”
He lifted his head off the pillow, even though he was blindfolded, facing her. “Will I at least get to cum?”
“Don’t. You. Fuckin dare.”
He mewled pathetically, defeated, lying back down and swallowing a moan that nearly ripped through him at the feeling of her hips rolling into his. He heard the click and buzz of a vibrator and guessed that she’d brought something to help her over the edge. He could feel the vibrations faintly on his cock, too. And it made it that much harder not to cum right then and there.
“Fuck, babe, can feel you gushing around me. Please? Please can I cum too?”
She slapped his taut stomach. “I said no.”
It killed him to hear the sounds of her pleasure, to feel her reach the edge, and tremble over him, without being able to see her, or to hold her through it. It took every ounce of self restraint he had, not to pull at the cuffs and free himself. She even noticed him whine in frustration as she came back from her high.
She crawled over to him, slowly untying his wrists and undoing his blindfold. It took him a moment to adjust to the sudden light in his eyes, but he instantly pouted, eager to express his displeasure. She kissed him, giggling. “Don’t worry. You get to have fun, too.”
Matty whined as the wrapped her hand around his cock. “D-do I finally get to cum?”
She stroked him slowly, “who said anything about cumming?”
Matty’s eyes shot wide open, he attempted to argue back but his mind couldn’t string together a coherent thought. He turned his face away from her, moaning into the pillow.
“Awe, does that feel good, baby?” She smiled, kissing him sweetly while his free hand gave his bakks a gentle squeeze.
“Oh my- FUCK! Babe…ple-please. I’ve been so …please?”
“You wanna cum? Get close.”
“A-and then you’ll let me?”
She watched as his thighs trembled, his toes curling. He whispered, stuttering. “Darling? I’m gonna- I- I’m so close, can I cum? Please can I?”
Instantly, she took her hand away, hearing him let out a high pitched cry, and watching his cock twitch against his stomach. She watched him writhe in pain, and when she ordered him to stop squirming, he struggling for a long minute.
“Breathe, Matty. You’re panicking. Breathe for me. That’s it, good, yeah, good boy.”
He thought he would get a small reprieve, maybe she’d even take pity on him and give him an orgasm. But instead, he watched her reach for the vibrator that she had used on herself earlier.
“Oh…fuck.”
“No, no. Don’t close your eyes. Sit up for me. I want you to watch. I want you to see what I’m doing to you. Don’t take your eyes off my hands. Look at how I’m torturing you.”
The sinful sight drove him wild. He was already feeling every inch of it. His skin hot like fire, the vibrations pushing waves of pleasure through him, his red, sensitive tip leaking into her hands, causing the obscene squelching sounds as she worked him almost brought tears to his eyes.
“Baby? Darling, I’m - I’m gonna cum.”
“Nope.”
“Yes; yes I am. I’m gonna cum. I can’t- I-“
“I beg your pardon? You’re not even begging anymore. Not even asking. You’re telling me you’re gonna cum?”
He shook his head repeatedly. “I can’t. Can’t hold it. I can-“
Before he could finish his sentence, he slipped over the edge busting into her hand with a loud cry.
She set the vibrator to the side, staring directly into his eyes as he attempted to catch his breath. Then, without warning, she slapped his cock. “Did I say you could do that?”
“I’m sorry! I’m sorryyy- ow- sensitive!”
“You’re getting punished for this. You know that right?”
***
Matty’s heart raced in his chest as he looked up at her.
“Open up.” She brought the tip of the dildo to his lips, smacking him with it a few times.
“Erm….’s quite….its big.”
“I know. It’s why I chose it.”
“I- just mean….its been a while since….well, you know…don’t know if I can take it.”
In an unexpectedly gentle move, she pushed the hair out of his eyes to make sure they could both look at each other better. He flinched initially, but leaned into her soft hand when he realized she wasn’t hurting him.
“What safe words do you use when you wanna tap out?”
He nodded, slowly, recognizing her reminder. “‘Yellow,’ for slow down. ‘Red’ for stop.”
“That’s right. You wanna stop? You wanna safeword out?”
Matty shook his head.
“Alright, then. Suck this cock and get it nice and wet for me. It’s gonna hurt.”
He felt the silicone toy push against his lips and opened up his mouth, struggling to take it in. She smiled, watching him struggling, drooling all over himself, and gagging as he attempted to suck on it. When it began to look like he’d adjusted into a good rhythm, she decided to throw him off by pushing the toy further into his mouth. She did it forcefully and unrelentingly, causing him to struggle for breath, tears running down his face.
“There it is. Beautiful boy crying for me” she whispered, more to herself than to him. “Alright, that’s enough now. Turn around. Face down, ass up.”
He whined as he followed her orders, bracing himself for what was to come.
“You’ll go slow?” He asked, even though he knew it was futile.
“Nope. This is supposed to hurt. You ready?”
“Erm…I don’t think-“
“Oh, wait, I just realized I don’t care.” She pushed the tip of the toy into his hole. Matty gasped, his stomach muscles contracting. His body reflexively clenched.
“Ohhh fuck- that’s intenseeee….i-“
“Hush, hush, Matty. You’re gonna make it so much harder on yourself if you don’t breathe. You know how this works. Breathe.” She pushed two more inches and felt his knees lock.
“It fuckin hurts.” He cried, softly. Not really a plea for her to stop. Just a pointless expression of how he felt. Which, he knew, she’d ignore.
With the last few inches shoved into him, his face swished into the bedding, tears falling from his eyes.
“Gonna start moving it now, you okay?”
He nodded and received a spank on his ass. “Use your words, Matty. I asked you a question.”
“S-sorry. Y- yeah. I’m ready.”
She pumped the toy in and out of him quickly and roughly, listening to him cry as he attempted to tell her how much it hurt, only to lose control of his sentences every time that he tried.
“You’re gonna be so sore tomorrow.” She reminded him, thrusting particularly harshly.
Matty bit the duvet to keep from screaming, tears falling from his squeezed eyes.
“But you brought this upon yourself.” Again, she pushed the toy all the way in.
“Deep- it’s so deep!!”
“I should hope so.” She pulled the toy out, almost to the tip, only to plunge it all the way back into his ass causing his teeth to chatter in a primal scream.
“I- I’m feeling- it’s feeling- it’s too much.” Sweat dripped from his body onto the bed around him as his whole body shook, the toy stretching him out so much that he felt like he was being split in half.
“I don’t care. You’re gonna cum for me.”
“I- am allowed?” He squeaked, involuntary moans followed even before she could reply.
“If you can do it without touching yourself, yeah.”
Nothing felt more humiliating to him than a hands-free orgasm. Add being roughly tucked in the ass to it, and he was sure he would pass out.
“I’m going to count you down from three. When I say cum, you cum, okay?”
My the time that she had given him the command, Matty was so deep into a subspace haze, he’d barely comprehended the word. Luckily, his body reacted reflexively, letting go immediately; the force of the orgasm so strong that his body fell forward. The aftershock tore through his exhausted form, as he laid there, on his stomach,- drenched in his own sweat, tears, and cum, whimpering and crying. He barely even acknowledged it when she pulled the dildo out of his ass, slapping him with it, and tossing it onto his back.
“I’m done with you for tonight.” She whispered into his ear, giving his back a quick kiss before walking out of her room.
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