#as soon as i start tag talking i feel like i need to keep repeating how i know i suck and everyone has it much worse than i and shut up silv

[bamgyw]

˚₊‧꒰ა ♡ c.bg; six nights ♡ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

summary: six nights of emo boy gyu sneaking into your room without your daddy knowing. aberrational catholic guilt ridden catcher in the rye wannabe porn document. afab reader x softdom!beomgyu. warnings: everything, unfortunately. minors dni. heavy smut ahead. lots of pretentious writing, too. catholic guilt and imagery. abusive behaviour, parental neglect. drug use. violence. everyone is sad. i’ll keep on updating part-specific tags. index: prologue: the house of god, first night, second night, third night, fourth night, fifth night, sixth night, dawn of the seventh.

prologue: the house of god

when daddy wanted to hide something from you, he would turn to his beloved bible. and ever since you turned fourteen, he had been holding on to a passage that he would repeat to you every night before going to sleep: 

"let no one say when tempted, "i am being tempted by god," for god tempts no one. but each person is tempted when lured by his own desire. then desire gives birth to sin, and sin brings forth death."

that is the only sex talk your daddy ever gave you. it was more of a sex mantra than a talk, or a warning, or even a prohibition. just a rule of nature that he wanted you to have engraved in your mind: desire is sin, and sin is death.

when daddy didn't want you to do something, he'd blame the rule on god. and there's little you could say against that. 

as you grew up, you realised that god might not be real, but daddy most certainly was. a punitive, disciplinary god. and one feels much more compelled to obey divine rule when god lives under your roof. when you can touch him, and he can touch you.

when god lives in your house and his wrath can tear your flesh apart not in hell, not in heaven, but in this life; you become more cautious than the most devoted of christians. so even when everyone in your grade started drinking, dating, having sex; you had it very clear that the priority was to protect yourself. not from the dangers of drinking, dating, or sex; but from daddy, that is to say, from god.

none of your friends from school understood it, that the fear of god was not irrational. you had scars and bruises that god had given you which you could perfectly show them. but then daddy would get in trouble. besides, he wouldn't like you showing your body around. 

none of them could ever understand what living with god was like, so they were the kind of people who would ask that stupid question; if god loves us, why does he hurt us? 

the first person to understand god was a boy called choi soobin. 

daddy had remarried choi soobin’s mom the year before you started college. she was a beautiful woman, lively and hopeful to start a second life after becoming a widow. it must be thrilling to get a chance at a second life when your first one has gone wrong. soobin’s mom could have been very happy in another universe. you felt sorry that she had stepped into daddy‘s trap. 

you had always wondered how daddy had managed to get a woman like her. bright, cultured and affectionate. but then you figured that maybe, as he was god, he didn't necessarily need to be yahweh, or elohim. he could also be zeus and disguise himself as a swan to kidnap and rape leda. 

you found out later that soobin‘s mom had never fully recovered from the passing of her first husband, and she often suffered from major depressive episodes. daddy saw that void in her, and her urgency to fill it. he forced himself into the hollowness of the void, and obstructed her veins, bones, and heart with the word of god.

soon enough, soobin’s mom had no limb or internal organ she controlled herself. she had once had colours, you remembered; rosy cheeks, a hazel head of hair, lips tinted with vibrant red. but daddy had turned her grey. 

soobin’s mom had been kind enough to see the good sides of daddy, you had liked her for that. but you regretted that she hadn't learned to hide her colors so that daddy couldn't steal them away, like you did. 

she became a shadow of herself, an almost non-verbal phantom trapped between the real world –that is, the confines of daddy's house– and the world of hopeful prayers and the salvation of soul.

the boy called choi soobin would never forgive daddy for that. but it was alright. you understood. in a sense, he had killed his mom. you had to love daddy because he had created you, but you didn't think choi soobin was obliged to. 

people said choi soobin had changed, too. that he used to be a gentle kid, polite and sweet, but he had turned hostile. that, like most teens, he had become self-absorbed and belligerent without a cause or that he had gotten those adolescent mood changes so late in his life because he was an attention seeker. people say things like that when they don't understand what living with god is like.

you were the only one who didn't believe daddy when he said that soobin had a demon inside. you knew better than that, you knew that daddy saw demons everywhere. but soobin’s own mom believed it. when daddy tried to exorcise the demon away from soobin with fist and blood, she looked away.

all that soobin had wanted by acting up against daddy was to save his mom. to bring her back from the dead. but after that betrayal, he stopped trying. 

soobin had never been violent towards you, though. not once. not even mean. you were the only one who understood him, the only one who told him he wasn't evil. you knew that god's tyrannical rule could break a person, fill them with hate. and so soobin and you became close, often talking against god. every whispered defamation, every blasphemy, the danger of it felt so exciting. not because of the mischievous sin, or because of the disobedience, but because you felt like you could speak your mind at last.

your first kiss was soobin. you felt loved when it happened, something you realised you weren't used to. the feeling bloomed throughout the following week as you hid from god's watchful eye to be together.

soobin told you a hundred times that you were the most beautiful girl in the world, kissing all over your face, clasping you as close to him as he humanly could. he would sneak his hand under your skirt and whisper, "don't think about him right now. it's just you and me." and though his touch never went very far in the magnitude scale of sin and punishment, it was enough to breathe a new life into you.

you sensed that a big part of why soobin wanted you so bad was because he got turned on at the idea of defying daddy, and groping his holy daughter was the greatest offence he could commit. but that was alright. you felt the same way. and you hoped that that hate-induced lust would turn into love, in time. you could then be happier, even in the house of god. 

or you could have been happier. because god is omnipresent. and he would soon act to see you separated. the blossoming flower was brutally ripped from the soil.

when daddy found out, he locked himself into the master bedroom with soobin one morning and didn't let him go until the sun began to hide. soobin left that room broken and dead in life, just like his mom, but he didn't have one single bruise. maybe daddy really was god, after all.

soobin never talked to you again. spoken, yes, but it was hollow. you never felt loved again. you learned a lesson that day: your pleasure brings pain to everyone around. the mantra became true. desire is sin, and sin is death.

so if there was any need left in your body to touch, to kiss, to lick, to possess or be possessed; you confined it to the darkest pit of your ribcage, way past your heart, never to be accessed again. 

until choi beomgyu came around.

he was the second person to understand god. but he had brought his lesson learned from home. he knew god’s ways even before he met daddy. he had a god of his own. you called yours daddy, he called his ‘that narcissistic sadist’. but strangely enough, you felt like they meant the same thing. 

choi beomgyu was sort of soobin's friend, if you could even call it that. they never labeled each other as such, never sought out each other's company for the sake of friendship. they just wanted to live through their loneliness while sitting in the same room.

beomgyu’s dad was a dealer. he made a living out of ruining people's lives, as beomgyu saw it. growing up, he had promised himself that he would never be like that, the kind of person who doesn't care about poisoning someone's body if that meant keeping the cash flowing. but as he grew up, he learned that it wasn't all black or white. that all of those fools kept showing at his father’s doorstep, like they had no other choice. like they enjoyed hurting themselves. 

beomgyu, like soobin, had become hateful. one of the things that bothered him the most was the "why me?" question. how unlucky he could have been to be born of such a father. but then again, he could run away. he could sort his shit out, get a job, never see his father again. but he kept going back. like he had no choice. like he, too, enjoyed hurting himself.

his dad barely knew he existed, and if beomgyu ever tried to make himself heard, he would silence him in cold blood. so any semblance of love or validation beomgyu could aspire to, he sought out with mathematically strategised plans. he craved the drug of attention and knew exactly where to get it.

he'd linger around fancy schools and church events, scoping out a certain type of girl. there was always a few of them going through a rebellious phase, desperate to go out with a bad boy and piss off their high-official dad. 

it didn't take much effort for him to get what he wanted. he was handsome enough to make it easy, and even though he was a spiteful nihilist, he could be charming on command. just a smirk, a tousle of the hair, and some cheesy lines like, "i'm messed up, but with you, i feel like maybe i could be better," or "you're too beautiful for a screw-up like me." and he would have them wrapped around his finger. 

he would bring them over to his place and fuck them rough on his drug-money-bought mattress. if there was shouting, or a gunshot coming from another part of the house, he'd fuck into them harder, muffling their fear with a rough kiss, using their panic to fuel his own twisted thrill. you fucking scared? i've gone through this crap every day since i was a kid. 

if he could crack the shell of a privileged princess, dragging someone along with him down to his mud, his pain would slightly numb out.

for just a little, but never enough.

that pattern of behavior didn't lead to happiness. not even to satisfaction. it was a vindictive way of muffling his pain with the aching moans of someone who had it easier. but in reality, it only pierced what was left of his soul, making him even more hollow. it was soobin who made him realize that.

until that day, beomgyu saw soobin as almost a kid—pitifully weak and too sheltered. but when he told him about his exploits of going after posh girls, soobin didn't applaud in shared bitterness as he often did.

beomgyu explained to him how hard he got seeing the fear in their eyes as they realised that the life he led, that freedom of the rebel, wasn't as cute and bohemian as they had romanticised.

soobin responded curtly. "and then what? you cum, the spell wears off and you stare at the ceiling in silence, thinking of how miserable you are." he said. "and then you feel guilty for being a piece of shit and using that girl as a blow-up doll. and because of that you feel even worse about yourself, which means becoming more hateful and ruining more people. its not a you thing, you're not that special. that loop has been said and done. probably how your dad feels after beating on you."

beomgyu was taken aback. he didn’t even find it in himself to get offended. he remained pensive for a while before saying, "hyung. do you think i'm a bad person?"

soobin replied; "i think you can choose not to be."

and beomgyu took the advice. he put an end to the hunter-gathering of rich girls. he respected soobin from then on, too. soobin had therefore been a good influence, one could say. or at least an influence beomgyu was willing to accept. he started hanging around your house more, to the point of almost never leaving.

you learned about him as if he were a mythological figure—someone everyone talked about but whose existence you couldn't confirm. as a friend of soobin, beomgyu was bound from the start by an unspoken rule to maintain the least possible contact with you.

beomgyu was made aware of that rule very early on. what he didn't know, because he had been misled, was your age. that's why he didn't think much of it at first; he thought you were a kid. so, whatever—he couldn't talk to soobin’s annoying little stepsister. big deal. he didn't care about kids anyway.

this, combined with the prison-like structure of daily life in that house—minimal time in common areas and endless hours rotting in your own cell—fulfilled daddy's command to keep your life and soobin's, and therefore boemgyu’s, completely separate.

but even though you hadn't seen choi beomgyu in person, you had been able to construct a fairly accurate forensic portrait of him, pieced together from your father's warnings about people like him.

about the piercings, daddy believed that the body is holy, and anyone capable of mutilating within sin. about the music they played when locked up for whole afternoons in soobin’s room, he believed that god is serene, and disturbing that peace is a sign of the devil. he considered long hair on a man an abomination, and much like the eccentric clothes, a mark of a sodomite.

daddy didn't approve of him, and saw him as no more than a threat to the sanctity of his home. but beomgyu was quick to remedy the situation.

beomgyu was most acquainted to the ways of gods. he knew they were capricious, proud and pathologically narcissistic. so he made sure daddy could see he was a troubled young man and played the role of the lamb seeking guidance. he convinced daddy that he could abduct him, like he had done with soobin and his mother.

when soobin recounted the scene to you, his voice had sounded more hopeful, more full of admiration than you had ever heard. "he went to your dad and talked to him as if he was the buddha. said that he was lost and needed someone to guide him on the right path." soobin said. "he had some quotes from the prodigal son parabole learned, and he just delivered so naturally. not a trace of shame because when he lied to his face like that. it was like watching a play. your dad bought everything."

from then on, beomgyu became an unsung hero in your eyes. the boy who had outmanipulated daddy into having it his way. the boy who had defeated god.

around halloween that year, beomgyu and his dad had a terminal fight. it ended on a threat so destructive that beomgyu thought it was for the better if he stayed away from his father's place for a couple days. maybe a week. soobin, knower of the impotence and humiliation of having to sleep under the roof of the one who lacerated you and torn you to pieces, offered him shelter.

daddy's eyes lit up with greed. he saw the definitive chance to welcome a prodigal son into the fold. for beomgyu it was almost a joke. he was amused at how fast daddy allowed him in. so clueless and hasty, like one of the girls he used to charm into his bed.

in truth, beomgyu wasn't even to blame when he inevitably bumped into you. it had been daddy's mistake, he had let him in himself. you thought maybe that made daddy more human, somehow. that he forgot to close the back door to the prison and the devil strolled in.

but it wasn't really a matter of having let his guard down. daddy was still as stern, still as disciplinary, still as paranoid as he had always been. choi beomgyu was just much smarter than daddy.

he was a demigod, he was a promise. he was soon to make you his.

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ next part

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ please let me know if you think reading about booty sex is gross (i'm doing market research)

[bamsywrites]

And Comes Dawn pt v

Pairing: Sauron/Halbrand x Reader, the love triangles will start showing up here soon

Word count: 2k

Tags/warnings: death mention, mention of miscarriages, angsty, but fluffy, Tolkien lore is mentioned some, reader do be yapping, sauron is unwell and a little obsessed,

Notes: I take some liberty with the elf occupation of the southlands in this one but it's my fanfic and if I wanted to have halbrand wear a pink frilly tutu I could. Keep the feedback coming please. I love all of you.

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You awoke to the soft rocking of the sea, a blanket thrown over your body, and the smell of soup. The smell alone almost made you moan as the emptiness in your stomach ached. The last thing you had remembered was the storm and now you were on a strange ship.

Where were you?

“She wakes,” a deep voice spoke next to you. It almost startled you, but seeing Halbrand and hearing his voice brought a sense of calm over you. He had shown that he had meant his words, that he would protect, but you were still unsure as to what motivated that in him. Surely it had to be something more than he thought you were a good person.

Without thinking, you threw your arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, relaxing into his body. It took a moment, but his strong arms wrapped around you, and he placed a kiss to your hair, “I got you, sweet one,” he whispered softly, resting his chin on your head.

After a moment, you pulled away and looked up at him, “Where are we?”

He looked into your eyes, smiling softly, “A ship captain saw us and rescued us. Looks as if your whole hope thing isn't useless after all.”

You smiled, “Of course it's not. Hope never is.”

This time, it was him that pulled you in for a hug, all but pulling you into his lap. “I swear, sweet one, never scare me like that again. I thought I lost you,” he whispered into your hair.

You didn't make any movements to separate from him, enjoying the feeling. “Is that soup I smell?”

Halbrand laughed softly, pulling away and holding your face in his hands, “You ruined the sentimental moment.”

“Halbrand, I have been stranded at sea for a week, and while I do enjoy you, I am quite hungry.”

He smiles but shakes his head, “I'll go get you a bowl.”

As he leaves to do that, you take in your surroundings. It's a sturdy ship, not like the one you'd left on. It was well kept and clean, and the wood seemed to be of high quality. Your eyes examined the room until they landed on the elf, who was still either unconscious or asleep. Her words to you repeated in your head. She'd revealed your past to Halbrand. It seemed maybe as if he didn't care or notice, but it mattered to you.

You heard his footsteps on the stairs, and you quickly looked away, taking the warm bowl of soup in your hands. “Thank you,” you managed to speak before you started slurping down the liquid. It felt amazing to fill your stomach again. To eat something warm, that wasn't stale bread and dry meat. You had moaned softly the minute it moved down your throat.

Halbrand watched you until you were done, it looked as if he was thinking of something. You put the bowl aside and sat quietly for a moment before he spoke.

“Why didn't you tell me?”

You didn't need him to specify. You knew of what he spoke. You sighed softly and looked at him for a moment. He was leaning forward with his arms resting on his knees and hands clasped together. He looked concerned and curious as he watched you.

“I didn't want you to think differently of me,” you said softly.

“You were not the one who committed the crime. I told you, I've done horrid things. I chose to do those things. You did not choose to have an evil father.”

“That's the other reason why I don't talk about it,” you spoke softly. “He wasn't always that way. He was a good man, and so was my brother and my uncle. They were all good men. They were all hard workers. We had a farm, and they all tended to it from dawn until dusk. And when Papa would come home, no matter how tired he was, he would sweep me into his arms and dance with me around the room. My uncle would put me atop his shoulders and take me with him to town or to pick apples. My brother had the most awful jokes. He'd sneak me seconds of the cake, and he'd teach me how to use a bow. They were not evil, and I hate to talk about them as if they were. As if they were born that way.”

Halbrand wet his lips, “But something must have happened for them to murder an entire village of elves.”

You nodded, looking at your hands as you fought back tears. “My mama was good. She was so good and kind. She had a garden, and she grew herbs that helped people sleep or cleaned minor wounds. She was helpful. Everyone loved her, and my father adored her. She got sick one winter and the medicine she needed was expensive. Everyone worked so hard to save up enough for it, but in the end, we didn't have enough,” You wet your lips with your tongue. “She died. It was…it was awful. She was in pain and didn't go with peace. Father was distraught. Not only had he lost mother, but she had been with child. They had always had trouble with having children. My brother was several years older, and many miscarriages and lost babes were between us. The baby was almost to term.” You shook your head, wiping the few tears that slipped out away.

“I'm so sorry, but what does that have to do with elves? With Sauron?” Halbrand spoke, his hand moving to rest on your knee in a form of comfort.

“Father blamed the elves for mothers' death. I do not know how it is with other villages in the southlands, but for ours we had to give tithes of crops or money to the elves as a form of repentance for our ancestors' allegiance with evil,” you spoke with a hint of annoyance. “A reminder of what we did. Father was forced to give the money that he had saved to the elves. He begged for help for medicine, and it was denied. It changed him. It broke him. My grandfather believed that Sauron would return and bring with him the legacy that was long lost from our people. Father had dismissed that belief, but after mother died, he believed that Sauron would be more benevolent than the elves. That he would be a better leader. All that was needed was a massive blood sacrifice. He radicalized my uncle, my brother. My house went from being filled with love and light to being filled with darkness, with plots for murder. With stories of long ago and Morgoth and Sauron and giant spiders and dragons.”

“That's why you believe that evil is thrust upon people, isn't it?” Halbrand spoke softly.

You nodded. “The grief would destroy me if I believed there was no good in my family.”

Halbrand sat in silence. “And what of a being like Sauron? Do you think he's able to be forgiven? To be good?”

You pressed your tongue into your teeth and furrowed your brow. “I do not know, but I also do not think it is my place to make that decision. It is not my place to forgive my own family for what they did. What they did was horrendous. It was not excusable. I do not want to lessen the severity of their crimes, nor do I think that their punishment was unjust. I do not think it serves anyone well, though, to think that they were evil all along. To think they were without human emotions. Despite the evil they have done, I still love my family.”

You inhaled a deep breath, looking up at him, “I think for him, for Sauron, it could be the same. I do not know much about what created us, but I know that what created me also created him. In that case, he is capable of all the things I am. Love, kindness, empathy. That has to all be there, the good that he hasn't chosen. Perhaps he even has a family who still loves him. But it is not my place to decide if he is forgiven. I am not the one to redeem him.”

~

He sat with his head resting against a beem of wood. Not long after you ate, you'd fallen back asleep. His fingers were lazily running through your hair as he stared at a particular piece of wood.

He was getting more answers to who you were, but the answers he got asked questions themselves. How did you suffer so much and yet still hope? How did you hold such light inside you as well as such grief?

He'd been so full of himself when he learned of your family. To learn, there were those who still waited for him, who would kill for him. It satisfied his ego and fueled his arrogance. It was hard to resist smirking, smugly laughing to himself, or making a comment.

It didn't last long. In his interrogation of you, he asked too many questions and got answers he didn't bargain for. His questions now weren't so much about you, but about him. About his wants, his goals, and his motivations. Instead of asking who you were, your answers made him ask who he was.

He is capable of all the things I am.

…The good he hasn't chosen.

A family who still loves him.

The last one was the worst. Did he have a family who loved him still? Would he ever be able to return to his home? Would he be able to work inside Aulës's workshop? Would his former master have missed him? Would he hear the song of creation once more?

Did he want any of that?

Or did he still want power? Control? To bring peace and order through domination? The temptation was still there. The darkness was ever present inside of him, but perhaps there was some light left.

His eyes drifted to you, picking up a few strands of your hair and then watching them fall back over your face. Part of him still wanted you dead. He wanted you gone. It had been little over a week, and yet it had felt like a lifetime. You were challenging him in ways that he did not want. You were, somehow, single handedly, causing him to second guess everything he knew. That alone was reason enough for him to slit your throat.

Then there was the lust. He'd never lusted after anyone like this. The fact that you were a human felt like an insult. The reactions his body had to you were too human for his liking. He wanted control, but with you, he had none. It was surprising that he hadn't claimed you already. You were his, after all. And that was another reason for him to dispose of you.

There was the stirring deep inside him, the warm feeling that he sometimes could feel spreading. Sometimes, it spilled out of him without even knowing. He dared not name it. He did his best not to feel it. He'd know you little more than a week, and yet it was there, taunting him always at the edge of his mind. That was the biggest reason he wanted you gone. That feeling, he didn't want it, especially not for you. A mere mortal should not make him feel this way.

There were so many times he had raised a blade or had his hands wrapped around your throat, and just before he was about to make the move that would free him from you….

Your eyes, bright and happy, looking up at him.

The crinkles next to your eyes when you smile.

The softness of your skin against his.

The sound of your laugh.

The smell of your hair.

You.

He growled, sending a table flying and sending his fist through the wood of the pillar. He breathed heavily, forehead resting against the splintered wood as he heard you stir in your sleep. His eyes closed. He hated the chaos inside of him.

He hated everything.

He especially hated that he couldn't hate you.

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[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 11 . Nothing More, Nothing Less (4)

a/n: double update this week because i got a perfect score on my all-or-nothing oral quiz last night hehe. also, this was supposed to be 2 installments only but I keep making things longer than when I first storyboarded lol

tags: feelings in progress, trying to break out from an abusive mentality, crying, fluff, remember that healing is not instant and takes time

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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Everyone dispersed to do their own thing when they got back home. Of course, they did this after they made sure that _____ was inside their room and properly resting.

The healer complied with everyone’s wishes, how could they not when Choi Han was practically guarding the door? However, they were starting to feel restless and bored. Back at their old home, they were never told to rest for this long.

It was the opposite actually.

Everyone back there wanted them to get back in action as soon as possible. It doesn’t matter how bad they feel, _____ is expected to get back to work after 5 hours max.

Knock

Knock 

“Cale-nim asked if you feel well enough to join him for dinner.”

Good thing Choi Han gave _____ an agenda before they die of restlessness.

“Please tell the young master I’ll join him.”

The swordmaster inspected the healer first before nodding. Looks like _____ passed Choi Han’s detector and is deemed well enough to have dinner in Cale’s room.

It was an invitation for dinner but the Medicus knows that its real purpose is so that Cale can have a serious chat with them.

_____ already knows their fault.

In Cale and everyone else’s eyes, they acted recklessly. It’s _____’s mistake that they didn’t inform Cale that could handle that much. Then in turn because of that miscommunication, some things were hindered and they lost manpower for a short while.

To put it another way, _____ hindered everyone’s work.

For that, they were sorry. They didn’t mean to be deadweight that had to be carried around.

_____ told themself that they’ll tell Cale they won’t repeat the same mistake when they have dinner.

…things didn’t go as planned.

When the healer tried to explain that they certainly could handle more than what they did in the Whipper Kingdom Cale only sighed. Then when they tried to say sorry Cale frowned.

That’s never a good sign.

But _____ can’t think of what else they did wrong.

It didn’t help that the children averaging 8 years old also have the same expression.

“You know that I’m trash right?”

“Huh? Uhm yes, I do.”

_____ knew the rumours that labelled Cale as trash, but they didn’t know why it mattered right now.

“Right and as you know someone trash is selfish.”

The healer has no idea where this is going. In the first place, Cale was far from selfish. He may be opportunistic and a little manipulative but everything he did was for the betterment of others.

“Because I’m selfish I don’t care whatever happens to other people. My priority will always be me and my people first.”

_____ still has no idea where this is going.

“That means you, you rascal.”

Cale poked _____’s forehead, straightening the lines of confusion that had formed.

“You’re one of my people. You have been since that day you agreed to leave the City of Life with me.

Meaning, you are my priority. Meaning, I will not tolerate such dangerous and self-sacrificial actions from you.”

On looked at Cale as if he had no right to talk but the redhead didn’t notice it.

“And so in the future, I hope you can promise to never do anything that will harm you again. I don’t need promises of you doing better, I just want to know that you won’t get hurt this severely from healing other people...”

Plop

Plop

Cale who had more to say stopped speaking.

How could he not when he saw _____’s tears?

The same _____ who had a neutral expression after almost dying.

The same _____ who just nodded and moved on after realizing their family had abandoned them.

The same _____ who still had a poker face despite shaking from their nightmares.

That same _____ is now crying.

And it looks like they didn’t even notice they were crying.

_____ only noticed their tears when they picked up the two kittens that had been pawing their arm. After they did, the two took it upon themself to paw away the tears streaming down their face.

It seemed to have the opposite effect though.

Not only did it not stop the healer’s tears it actually made them cry more.

_____ couldn't stop the tears from flowing no matter how hard they tried. After a few seconds of trying they gave up and asked Cale a question instead.

"Cale-sunbae are you never mad at me? You never yell or punish me even though I keep messing up and is essentially useless to your group of experts..." 

Cale feels as though he is gonna have a heart attack from all the surprises because of _____. 

Are they being serious? 

How could Cale get mad at them or think of them as useless when their abilities are so useful? 

Just the amount of money they've saved from using fewer potions because they have a great healer was already amazing. Then there's the ancient power that makes them a living detector. Because of that ability, everyone found it easier to navigate the plants and monsters inside the Forest of Darkness.

How could someone amazing be deemed useless?

This was certainly because of the trash that adopted them.

Cale is going to make sure he fucks them up sooner or later.

But for now, the young master is going to make sure _____ understands their worth.

“I don’t take in useless people. I only take in people that can pay for their meals.”

The redhead used his personal handkerchief to dry the healer's tears.

As he did _____ could feel that warm and fuzzy feeling they felt back at the Whipper Kingdom come back. However, they ignored it in favour of listening to Cale’s words.

“Remember, I personally asked you to join me, to join us. Have you ever seen me make the wrong judgement?”

Cale is definitely tooting his own horn.

But hey if it makes _____ understand.

And it looks like it did because _____ shook their head no. Then they stayed silent as they stared at Cale’s handkerchief. As if they were absorbing the weight of his words.

Cale deemed it enough for now. He knows that _____ will have a hard time reversing everything they’ve learned. It won't be easy, but Cale is willing to go at _____’s pace.

Later that night Choi Han knocked on Cale’s door to report something.

When the swordmaster entered the room the first thing he noticed was how none of the children were with Cale.

“They’re in _____’s room. They said something about making sure that _____ doesn’t cry again.”

Was Cale’s short answer when asked.

“_____-nim cried?”

Choi Han couldn’t believe it. Just what did his Cale-nim say to someone as expressionless as _____ that it made them cry…

“Check on them yourself if you don’t believe me.”

That’s exactly what Choi Han did after he finished his report.

Don’t get him wrong, it wasn’t because he didn’t trust Cale’s words. It’s more because he wanted to see if the healer was doing better now.

The black-haired man knocked on the door and Raon answered by opening it using mana.

It’s dark in the room but Choi Han has no problems seeing everything. As he scans the room he sees the children averaging 8 years old lying down on _____’s bed. The two kittens are already asleep just like the healer, leaving the black dragon to be the only one awake.

Choi Han smiled at the sight. The children didn’t look any different aside from the fact they were sleeping on _____’s bed instead of Cale’s. At the same time, it looks like _____ themself is sleeping peacefully.

The swordmaster checked everything one more time to make sure he didn’t miss anything before closing the door to let the four get their well-deserved rest.

[captainlunaxmen]

All for the Cameras

Chapter 8

Finnick Odair x Fem!reader

Here we go! With this chapter, we officially say goodbye to Chatching Fire, and we will soon enter Mockingjay-part1. I hope you guys will like this, and if you want to be added to the tag list, just tell me♥️♥️♥️

Chapter summary: we're at the Quarter Quell finale.

Chapter warning: Now, Cal is a huge warning himself, Hunger Games cruelty, death, blood.

Tag list.

@guacam011y @justtrying2getby @idontevenknow1359 @alexandra-001 @bambikitten @maggiecc @redh00dsbf @haneybunny @1-800-styles @sisiking99 @merromimo @yourdailymemedelivery @regsg18 @gordorio @bambikitten @gracieeleanorr @shev3nom @honethatty12 @savingprivatecass @erindiggory @martahabla @sterredem @aawdrea @wpdarlingpan @strawberry--fawn @barbarathewanderer @ih8books @a-mysterious-potato @mayonesavegana @celinaiscrying @katherinejess @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @abaker74 @syd649 @meikoo @secretsicanthideanymore @p1stachi @laylasshiftingtonight @yourmumstoy @s0urw00lf

I'm sorry if I can't tag everyone😔🥺

Masterlist

Finnick's POV

They managed to find some food. Finnick decided to catch some, more to distract himself that because he actually needed to eat. His stomach was completely closed after what happened.

He eats with the other because he does need his strengths, but doesn't feel like it at all.

Mags was like a mother and seeing her go like that... broke him.

The only thought keeping him going was Y/n, the thought that they could finally have a chance.

Finnick gets distracted from his thoughts when Peeta, opening one of the oysters, found a pearl. Finnick watches him giving it to Katniss, her accepting it. Finnick takes a moment to notice the way Peeta looks at her, the exact way he looks at Y/n, with adoration. Katniss is a little more reserved, of course, but she does feel something too, even though she doesn't realise it yet.

The sweet moment is interrupted by a loud scream.

"That's new." Peeta says standing up, Katniss and Finnick soon do too.

They look ahead, trees moving and breaking, then a big wave appears, it looks secluded to a section of the arena, but still aiming towards them apparently.

Even though the waves breaks at the cornucopia, it still creates waves towards the beach all around it. Thankfully not big enough to make damages.

As they watch the hovercraft flying to get the body of the dead tribute, Katniss grabs an arrow ready to fight.

"Someone's here." She says.

They all get their weapons, ready to defend themselves. They hide, watching who it was.

When Finnick sees Johanna, along Wiress and Beetee he lets out a sigh of relief, hope growing back in him as he walks to her calling her name.

"Whete the hell have you been?" He asks as soon as they're close enough.

"Me? I was looking for you the entire time, asshole!" Johanna shoots back.

Finnick knows she's not actually angry, rather worried, even though she would never admit it.

"So was I." He says, more calmly, "are you all okay?"

Johanna shrugs.

"Well, I got them out. We were a the way deep into the jungle where I thought it was gonna be safe. That's when the rain started." She starts explaining, while Beetee and Wiress got into the water to clean up, "I thought it was water. It turned out to be blood."

"Tick tock" Wiress comes close repeating the same two words.

"Hot, thick blood." Johanna keeps going as if she didn't notice her, "it was coming down. It was choking us. We were stumbling around, gagging on it, blind. That's when Blight hit the force field."

"Tick tock, tick tock" Wiress keeps talking as Johanna takes a big breath.

"He wasn't much, but it was from home." She says bitterly.

"What's wrong with her?" Katniss asks, referring to Wiress.

"She's in shock," Beetee answers, "dehydration isn't helping. Do you have fresh water?"

"We can get some."

As Johanna tries to, forcefully, stop Wiress from talking, Katniss immediately goes to defend her, almost starting a fight if it weren't for Finnick separating them, leading Johanna away.

"I got them out for you!" She screamed before she got dragged away.

"It's okay, it's okay." Finnick tries to calm her.

"Let me go, Finnick!" She insists, "let me go, I'm fine."

He lets her, and goes to sit down on the sand, soon Peeta joins as Katniss was helping Wiress clean up.

"Are you sure you're okay? I know Mags was important to you... and Y/n." Peeta asks.

"Yeah... uh... it was a possibility we didn't want to acknowledge, but... still a possibility." Finnick sighs, sadly.

"I'm really sorry." Peeta gives his shoulder a reassuring squeeze.

"It's alright."

"Can I ask you something?" Peeta suddenly whispers, so no one would hear and Finnick nods, still looking ahead, "your speech at the interviews... was for Y/n, wasn't it?"

Finnick only nods, so does Peeta understanding.

"What a situation, uh?" Finnick says sarcastically.

"Yeah.." Peeta sadly chuckle, then his attention shifts to Beetee, who was messing with a wire of some sort, "what's that?"

Beetee looks up to them, then back at the wire in his hands.

"Something we can use." He simply says before standing up and walking closed to the water.

Finnick and Peeta shares a confused look before shrugging.

The moment interrupted by the lightning hitting the big tree again, 12 times.

"They have out done themselves this time, uh?" Finnick comments once the lightnings stop.

"Yeah..." Peeta breaths out.

They attention is caught by Katniss walking back to them, a determined look on her face.

"I figured it out." She says.

Y/n's POV

"That's the plan?" I ask Plutarch as we talk in his office.

"Yes." He nods, "are you okay with that?"

"Of course, I am." I confirm, "does Haymitch know?"

"Yes, he does."

"Perfect... do you think they will do as you predict?" I ask, again feeling nervous.

"I am positive, they figured out how the Arena works, it's only a matter of time, we need to be ready." He replies, "I suggest you start packing and be ready."

"Got it." I nod, taking a deep breath, I look at Plutarch, who nods his head to give me courage somehow.

There's suddenly a knock on the door.

"Mr Heavensbee? Miss L/n?" One of the Gamemaker peers inside.

"Yes?"

"There's movement." He says.

"We'll be right there in a minute." Plutarch informs him so he can go back to the controll room.

"We still need to keep up the appearance, I know." I sigh.

"All for the cameras, miss L/n. Always."

We walk back into the room, just in time to see Gloss killing Wiress, I can't help the gasp leaving my mouth, it was so unexpected I couldn't stop it.

Plutarch put a hand on my shoulder for a second to make regain my composure.

We need to keep up the appearances, so I just move to one of the Gamemaker, to take a closer look. Katniss immediately kills him, Cashmere, of course, runs to attack her, thankfully Johanna pushes Katniss away and kills the district 1 tribute.

That means the other part of the Career pack is close.

"Keep the cameras on them, the other side there." I point where Finnick and Peeta stands, just in time to frame Brutus and Finnick fighting, Enobaria manages to wound Finnick before running away, thankfully is nothing bad.

Peeta tries to chase them, but Finnick holds him back, letting Katniss and Johanna go instead.

I look up at Plutarch, him already looking at me. Then he looks up and mouths "for the cameras."

He wants me to suggest something believable, to fool the president.

I start to think something that might be an obstacle, that might slow them down, we can't have the Games end now, we still have things to prepare, but it doesn't have to be something... deadly.

Think.

Think.

Think.

Thi.... okay.

"Make the cornucopia spin." I say, the Gamemaker, of course, looks up at Plutarch for confirmation and when he nods the cornucopia starts to spin on itself, making everyone lose balance.

Johanna helps Katniss stay on, as Finnick, Peeta and Beete do the same.

My heart skips a bit when Katniss falls, instinctively look at Plutarch.

"Okay. That's enough." He orders, "good thinking, miss L/n."

"Thank you, sir." I say, breathing heavily from anxiety, "it will be harder for them to tell time."

"Clever." He nods, and I let out a sigh of relief.

It made some trouble, but not too much... Good.

They quickly reunite, and go back to the beach... but a different section. I try to figure out which one it is.

"Brace yourself." Plutarch whispers so slightly to me as he passes by.

I take a quick look at the map, each section is perfectly labelled and I can quickly spot their position. It's the Jabberjays section.

Shit.

I take a deep breath and just wait to see what's going to happen.

They're counting down who might be left still in the games, now. Thankfully, it seems that Brutus and Enobaria are far from them.

"Activate them." Plutarch orders, I force myself not to look at him, because I know he has to do it. We are still not out of trouble, and at the Capitol, appearance is the most important thing.

So once Prim's voice reaches Katniss, she's immediately on her feet, running towards the sound. The rest of the group tries to keep her from going into the forest, to what they suspect is just a made up sound. Finnick is the fastest and immediately reach Katniss, who just shot a bird, finally realising it's fake, like everything else.

"You okay?" He asks, but Katniss can't even respond because another scream breaks in.

I can't help it this time, my eyes shoot up immediately to Plutarch.

That's my voice, screaming at Finnick for help.

Plutarch looks at me, guilty, he motion for me to just take a deep breath and stay calm as Finnick runs towards the sound with Katniss, this time, to convince him to stop.

"It's not her!" She screams at him to gain his attention. "It's just a Jabberjay. It's not her."

"Well, how do you think they got that sound?" He spits back, "Jabberjays copy."

I just want to scream at him that I'm okay, that's just a decoy... my idea nonetheless...

As Gale's voice adds itself into the mix, Katniss and Finnick run away, but unfortunately my idea has another problem.

They bump into the invisible wall, surrounded by all the mutts screaming at them.

Kantiss is holding her hands to her ears, Peeta screams at her, but of course, the wall around the section is supposed to isolate them even more.

I look at Finnick protecting his ears too, he's muttering something, but I can't understand what he's says, the birds screams are too loud. My throat feels tight, I feel the burn of tears ready to come out in my eyes, my chest hurts.

"Miss L/n?" Plutarch calls me, his voice feels so far right now, but I reluctantly look at him, "would you be so kind and go look into my office for the arena projects? I want to check something."

I can only nod and walk to his office, I know he wanted to give an excuse to be alone and recollect myself.

I close the door behind me, and I just lean against it until I sit down on the floor.

It's all my fault, I can't believe I make them suffer like this. Katniss' screams to somehow cover the noise broke my heart, so did Finnick's face.

I did that.

It's my fault.

I have to do everything in my power to get them out...

Finnick's POV

It's Johanna's voice asking him if he were okay to ground Finnick.

After God knows how long he and Katniss were trapped with the Jabberjays screaming at them, the invisible wall vanished and the other were able to rescue them.

Peeta reassures Katniss, telling her that at the Capitol they will never touch Prim.

"Your fiancé's right." Johanna agrees, "the whole country loves your sister. If they tortured her or did anything to her, forget the districts, there would be riots in the damn Capitol." Everyone looks at Johanna, a mixture of surprise and shock for having her reassuring Katniss. But she was not done, "Hey, how does that sound, Snow? What if we... what if we set you backyard on fire? You know, you can't put everybody in here."

The shock is shared between the other tributes as they listen to her screaming.

"What?" She asks, finally noticing, "they can't hurt me. There's no one left that I love. I'll get you some water." She finally says, seeing no one knows what to say... obviously.

They all go to the beach, Finnick put his trident in the sand and goes to sat in the water.

It always calmed him. He remembers the first night at the Capitol after he was reaped.

He couldn't sleep, he didn't even want to, not knowing what the Capitol actually had in store for him surely wouldn't accommodate a good sleep. He remembers he went into the bathroom, to fill the bathtub and get under the water. Unfortunately the bathtub wasn't big enough. When Y/n knocked on the door, he thought she was there to take him back to his room, instead she sneaked the two of them into the pool. There she tried everything she could to calm him, she got into the water with him and lay there with him, talking.

That's when he realised she was not like the rest.

The others looks at him, as they rest, Johanna brought Katniss some water and now they're talking.

"Why did they use Y/n's screams with him?" Katniss asks.

"Really?" Johanna's taken aback by that question. "Have you... haven't you noticed anything?" She slightly scoffs.

"I'm afraid not." Katniss answers flatly.

"Love sometimes is cruel." Johanna simply says.

Katniss thinks for a moment before understanding her words, and can't help but agree with her.

"I have a plan." Beetee suddenly says and everyone gathers around him listening closely.

"Where do the Careers feel safest? The jungle?" He asks the group.

"Jungle's a nightmare." Johanna speaks up.

"Probably here on the beach." Peeta suggests.

"Then why are they not here?" Beete asks once again.

"Because we are. We claimed it." Johanna answers.

"And if we left, they would come." He guesses.

"Or stay hidden in the tree line." Finnick says.

"Which in just over four hours will be soaked with the water from the 10:00 wave. And what happens at midnight?" He speaks as if he is teaching to a class, and wants them to understand the concept before having to say it himself.

"Lightning strikes that tree." Katniss answers, understanding the concept of the plan.

"Here's what I propose. We leave the beach at dusk. We head to the lightning tree. That should draw them back to the beach. Prior to midnight we then run this wire from the tree to the water." He explains, pointing to the tree and then the beach, "anyone in the water or on the damp sand will be electrocuted."

"How do we know the wire's not gon a burn up?" Johanna questions.

"Because I invented it." He replies, with a hint of pride. "I assure you, it won't burn up."

The silence falls as everyone thinks about what to do. Johanna and Finnick looks at each other, they both seem to agree to the plan. Katniss looks at Peeta, worried, and still a little suspicious.

"Well, it better than hunting them down." Johanna agrees.

"Yeah, why not?" Katniss agrees too, "if it fails, no harm done anyway, right?"

"All right, I say we try it." Peeta nods.

"So what can we do to help?" Finnick asks, hoping the real plan will work... quickly.

Y/n's POV.

"Keep me alive for the next six hours. That would be extremely helpful." Beete says to the group.

That's our chance.

Plutarch's in his office with the president, so I'm the one directing the Gamemakers.

"Keep it as close as possible to the lovers." I say, "the Capitol loves them. Give them as much as they want."

They of course want the other to win, and if it goes down to them being the last two one of them would surely sacrifice themselves for the other... I pray we get them all out on time.

Peeta tries to convince her, she is the one who should live, he shows her the pendant Effie gave him, opens it and show her the picture of her family.

It breaks me hearing Peeta saying that no one needs him, because it's so far from the truth and he doesn't realise it.

Thankfully, Katniss reassures him she needs him. As they kiss my heart warms, and also hurts as I think of Finnick... maybe when everything is over we could... have our chance.

No. I don't have to keep my hopes up, for no reason.

Plutarch comes out of his office, nods at my direction and then addresses the Gamemakers.

"We're almost at the grand finale." He declares. "How about you go get some rest, miss L/n? You worked a lot today."

"Are you sure, sir? If we're at the finale, you might need all hands on deck, right?" I ask, pretending to be sorry.

"Go have some rest and enjoy the show, you earned it." He nods.

"Thank you, sir." I force an enthusiastic smile and walk to the exit.

As I pass him he whispers to me, "pack what you need. You'll know when it's time to go, so keep an eye on the games."

"Yes, sir."

"When it's time, immediately go to the roof of the training centre." He instructs, I nod and just walk out, to my apartment.

--------------

I put the last item in my backpack, a picture of my brother when we were younger, before we got sent to Snow. I turn the TV on to keep and eye on the games, as Plutarch instructed. Thankfully, I got the program so I can see everything live and change angles.

Apparently the group has to split, Katniss and Johanna are sent to unspool the wire all the way to the beach. Peeta, obviously, tries to offer to go with them, but Beetee says he needs both Finnick and Peeta as protection.

Of course, it generated a little angst in the group, suspects raising, and it ends with them agreeing to part ways until midnight.

I look for any sort of signal within the games, but I can't see anything yet.

I bounce my leg anxiously, as I look at Johanna cutting Katniss' arm, I look closer and realise she's tacking off the tracking device, this let me let out a sigh of relief. I try to find Finnick with the other cameras, only to see him looking for Johanna. He probably heard the Careers and went searching.

But I need to force myself to look for Katniss instead, Finnick knows about the plan, he knows what to do, Katniss doesn't so if I have to look for a sign, she's the one I need to follow. She's going back at the tree, looking for Peeta, but once she gets there, she only finds Beetee. I gasp, looking at a shaking Beetee lying down. Then her eyes fall to a made-up spear, the wire wrapped around the tip.

The sound of the cannon distracts her, screaming for Peeta she stands up, but when Finnick shows up, my heart stops as I see her taking an arrow and pointing it at Finnick.

"Please..." I whisper.

The door opening only increases my anxiety, and I quickly grab the emergency gun I took from my small voult.

My eyes drift between the hallway and the TV.

"Hello, my sweetness." Cal appears in front of me, a creepy grin on his face.

"Cal? What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Missed you." He simply answers, stepping closer, but I take a step back. He gives me a surprised and irritated look.

I look at the TV, in time to hear Finnick saying something to Katniss.

"Remember who the real enemy is." He said.

Cal looks at the TV, then step closer again and I take another step back, the gun still behind my back.

"Turn it off, sweetheart." He orders.

My eyes are, instead, glued to the screen. Katniss takes the spear, unwraps the wire only to wrap ot again around her arrow.

"Sweetheart." He calls again.

Finnick tries to get Katniss to get away from the tree, but right before the lightning strikes, she fires the arrow towards the sky and the screen turns black.

"Shit." I mutter.

"What happened?" Cal asks, alarm clear in his tone.

"I have to go." I say, rushing past him, careful to keep the gun somwhow hidden.

"Y/n!" I hear him scream my name as I near the door.

I open the door, but I find Peacekeepers in front of me.

"Yes?" I ask, as flatly and emotionless as I can.

"You are to come with us." One of them informs me.

"Where?"

"You're under arrest." Another says.

"What?" I scoff.

"What's going on?" Cal appears beside me, I hold the gun under the backpack harder.

"She's under arrest, she's suspected to be part of a rebellious group, a group Plutarch Heavensbee is part of." They explain.

"That's ridiculous." Cal laughs.

"I'm afraid it's true, sir." The peacekeeper replies.

I need to get out, I need to get to that roof.

I push past them, taking a little advantage of their talking. I arrive at the elevator, as I wait the doors to open I hear quick footsteps nearing. I point my gun at the Peacekeepers, firing twice, I manage to slow them down just in time for the doors to open and let me in, and I fire three more before the doors close again. I only injure some of them.

I didn't see Cal, he probably froze because of the news.

I decide to exit at another floor, I'm sure there would be more peacekeepers down, so then I'll go for the backdoor.

I get to the 4th floor, and carefully step out, analysing my surroundings as I walk to the stairs. I'm not so sure it's the best choice, but it's the only one I got. I try to be fast, but careful at the same time, the last thing I want is for them to get me.

Steady steps, controlled breathing, gun at hand, I move down the stairs.

"In here!" I hear someone scream and I just have to rush down now.

I run downstairs, jumping a few step in the process until I'm in front of the door.

I don't think, I need to get away from the ones on the stairs...

So I open the door.

Finnick's POV

Finnick sits up straight, holding his aching head, breathing heavily from exhaustion.

"Good, we started to think you were dead." Haymitch's voice makes Finnick raise his head to look at him.

"I'm... okay... I think." He says, he looks at his body, noticing some bandages, especially on his arm. They thankfully took off the tracking device.

"Yeah, the device is off, no need to worry about... that." Haymitch says, there's tension in his voice, resignation too, anger.

"What exactly happened?" Finnick asks, confused still.

"Katniss fired that arrow to the force field... that obviously broke, the screens, the cameras were down, this gave us the time to come and get you." Haymitch explains.

"Okay..." Finnick nods, he senses something wrong though.

"Come, let's talk." Haymitch nudges him to get up and follow him.

They arrive to a room with a big table, and screens taking their position on the walls.

Plutarch's there to greet him, but he's not happy, he's not satisfied.

Finnick hopes to see Y/n soon, he needs a friendly face to calm down.

"Mr. Odair... glad to see you're okay." He then says.

"Well, I'm alive... that's something." Finnick replies, forcing a small laugh out, "what about the others?"

He sees Plutarch and Haymitch sharing a look, then they both sigh deeply.

"We manage to get the Mockingjay out of there, which was the main mission." Plutarch starts, but doesn't continue.

"The others?" Finnick pressures.

"We managed to also get Beetee out." He answers.

"Johanna and Peeta?" Finnick's now scared.

"The Capitol has them." Plutarch simply answers.

Finnick pales, they might as well be dead, who knows what the Capitol will do to them.

"And..." Haymitch walks a little closer to Finnick, eyes down, guilty and angry.

"What? What is it?" Finnick snaps, frustrated.

Haymitch looks him dead in the eyes, so he can perfectly see the fury in his stare.

"They got Y/n too."

[sunflower-ozzy-online]

Laios NSFW Alphabet

I'm having trouble writing smut for Laios outright so here are some head canons in the form of a NSFW alphabet. These will be the basis of any fics I write going forward as well.

let me know if I missed any important tags.

Laios Touden/Reader

Additional Tags: Smut NSFW Alphabet Challenge Cock Warming Butt Plugs Anal Sex Pegging Sexual Roleplay Penis In Vagina Sex Sexual Content Oral Sex Cunnilingus Blow Jobs Monsterfucker Laios Touden Aftercare Food Kink Aphrodisiacs BDSM Service Top

Laios my sweet boy, you deserve so many more reader insert fics.

Laios NSFW Alphabet

slight vore mention but not enough to put as a tag.

Written mainly with a reader with a vagina in mind but should be inclusive to readers with penises.

Receiving- If it was early in your relationship, he would possibly ask for reassurance or if there was anything he could change for next time. He would get more confident and better at reading your needs as he gets more experienced.

A = Aftercare (what they are like after sex)

Giving- Depending on if the session was intense or not his aftercare would differ as well. If you need specific aftercare, be sure to tell him, he’s not going to pick up on hints. For best results discuss needs BEFORE sex. He would be very open to what you suggest and make sure to remember your needs after a lil breather. Without a prior discussion he would check on how you were feeling and get snacks and some water to replenish afterwards.

Yours- Have you SEEN the orc panel of him talking about the chiefs’ wives????? He loves someone who is soft and chubby especially if they have a nice round butt, pillowy chest, and soft tummy. No matter what size you are he would love the place where your spine meets your hips for some reason. He always places his hand there while walking through a crowded place trying to keep track of you and not get overstimulated in crowds.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s)

Theirs – He loves his arms and hands. How strong they are after he has trained for so long to become strong enough to swing his sword and protect those he cares about. He loves to watch them enter you, paying attention to how your fluids coat them.

He may compare your taste to different monsters he’s tasted absentmindedly, you knew what you were getting into.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Theirs- his cum is thick and not too watery. He doesn’t cum an unreasonable amount, but it is more than average. He does have an above average amount of precum, almost as soon as he gets hard his poor cock starts leaking in excitement. I don’t know how to explain it but his cum is a little muskier than the average. WOULD DEFINITELY want to test how different foods affect how it tastes once he finds out that it’s a thing. At first, he would do it by himself, tasting it after he jerks off or secretly after he came on you. Once he has gotten more comfortable, he will bring it up to you, seeing if you are into his little experiment. If you weren’t then he would try to eat food that he thinks makes it taste better before asking for head/ or more often. IF YOU DO, he will repeat his experiments and see which food made it taste better to you. He would then ask if you wanted to.

Yours/ semen- he would be so upset if you wouldn’t let him taste your cum, but he would accept it. If you do, he licks up every drop he can if it's on him or you. Before he puts it in his mouth, he would mess with it slightly to feel its thickness.

Yours/ slick (once again idk what to say) –He will lap at you every time he has the chance (with permission of course) He would go for the kiss after going down on you so be sure to let him know if that is not something you’re into. Instead of wiping his mouth afterwards he would be very gross about it and lick it off of himself, not wanting to miss any of it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

As much as he tells you he doesn’t want to have sex in the dungeon it is one of his secret fantasies. Something he prefers to just play out in his head than ever wish into real life. The idea of seeing you fucked by one of the monsters in front of him while he watches gets him so hard so fast, as well as him being pleasured by a monster while you watch. Or ideally you both being simultaneously pleasured by a dryad or the like.

 He worries that one day he will be a victim of nightmares and then while they are being cooked the group sees his wildest sexual fantasies play out in the steam. While it haunts his dreams it also makes him aroused.

He is not very experienced honestly although he had a fiancée previously, I don’t see him wanting to have sex outside of a relationship, and not having any previous relationships where he felt comfortable enough to have sex, including his previous engagement which I think was probably arranged. He knows about sex in a very scientific way, maybe reading a smut book that had sirens or succubae in it mistaking them for genuine monster resource books. He finished reading it and secretly kept it with him and rereads it occasionally.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they are doing?)

He ideally wants to look at you during sex so missionary, cowgirl, and the like are his go to. He likes the amount of control he has in doggy style, but he doesn’t like not being able to see and touch you as freely as he wants to. He would love putting you in a mating press, getting so close to you and observing your facial expressions thrusting deep into you while having access to your clit/ dick.

He knows the simple stuff but anything further you're either going to have to teach him or tell him to research it, which he will be very open to.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He would love for you to ride his face though, letting his tongue reach deep inside you hand on your hips pulling you down so you are as close as possible.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

For someone with a dick/ strap, he would want to ride you, taking it at his own pace. If he was in a particularly submissive mood, then he would want to be in a sudo-spooning position with his top leg hitched up to his chest to you could reach deeper into him, your chest pressing into him, arm reaching around to play with him as you thrust.

In the beginning he takes it very seriously, as if he is completing a task, trying to make you feel good. As he gains more confidence, he would begin to be a little bit goofier, making jokes or observations as he thinks of them. He would love to playfully bite you while you’re concentrating to get you out of your own head a bit.

For his partner he would definitely prefer them to have hair down there vs. being cleanly shaven. He wants to smell you, he will tell you that to your face if you ask if he cares.

H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He tends to be well-shaven and groomed upstairs due to the fact that he doesn’t want to look like his dad, naturally leaning toward being unkempt. But downstairs where he typically doesn’t pay attention it would be up to his sexual partner, if you have it a way you like it, he would try to keep it that way, just genuinely not having a preference. His pubes are slightly darker than his head hair, and on the straighter and thicker side.

In a way, he can be kinda scientific at the start. Noting what you like, what you don’t that it doesn’t lead to much intimacy. As he gets more familiar or heated, he will be very intimate and vulnerable. He will compliment you and whisper sweet things to you. He wants to be close to you, letting your souls mix together and breathe the air from your lungs, wanting to consume you in anyway he can.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

 After you two meet and he started having feelings for you he would start getting boners just from your presence, if he wasn’t clear on his crush yet it would be so confusing for him “is this a side effect of a monster, or magic in the dungeon?” Not wanting them to interfere with his focus he would either ignore them, or if he couldn’t he would quickly get off.

J = Jack off (masturbation head canon)

Before you he would only masturbate as a stress reliever whenever he was especially pent up. Though that would be very rare.

After you two get together but before you had sex he would jerk off, feeling hot thinking of you and feeling a little ashamed.

After you first had sex, he would tell you almost immediately if he got hard and ask if you wanted to have sex. He would prefer to handle it with you but would be satisfied with a quick self-care session, thinking of you and being disappointed it didn’t feel the same. Thinking about how he was so spoiled now, in a positive way.

Bondage – both on him and his partner- especially suspension sex where his partner is suspended.

 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Monster fucking (obviously)

Dom/Sub dynamics -He’s a service dom-leaning switch and he enjoys the structure and rules this type of sex lends itself to. He would want to use safe words even outside of BDSM sessions.

Sexual eating- like eating off of someone or feeding his partner/ his partner feeding him.

Cock warming- he is so touch-starved after years of being socially isolated especially romantically.

Light Impact play- this goes with the BDSM aspects- he doesn’t want to hurt his partner that much but if they are into it, he would be very willing. He likes it on himself when combined with sensory deprivation, giving into his partner completely. He loves the tingles on the skin it leaves after the impact though anything more he would be averse to. He would want you to feed him while blindfolded too, guessing what you’re feeding him.

 Roleplay- he would love multiple types of roleplaying but be prepared he does not half-ass his roleplaying and it would be a turn off if you did too.

Aphrodisiacs- especially if it’s related to monsters/ made from monsters. He naturally has a fairly low sex drive and would be interested in the type of desperation and intensity they offer.

Sensory deprivation- as mentioned before, especially if it accompanied with impact play. He likes the idea of completely trusting someone and being at their will.

Pegging/ Anal on him- he wants to explore all types of pleasure with you so he would try it once, then become really into it, the feeling of being so full of you intoxicates him.

Anal on someone with a vagina- similar to above he wants to explore all types of sexual things with you, though he would prefer being inside your pussy. He thinks using butt plug for you is a perfect answer. (Bonus get matching but plugs and he would swoon.) If you don’t like it he would be willing to live with out it.

Overstimulation- both giving and receiving.

Not necessarily a kink but he would want to be sexually stimulated/ sexually stimulate you while cooking.

Lactation

Nipple play

Vore- mainly in theory I don’t wanna explain.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He doesn’t like degradation. Giving or receiving. If it’s something you really like the furthest, he would go would be name calling like “his slut” or “his whore’.  Same with him receiving it.

At your place. He lives with his sister and probably wouldn’t move until married or…. Other things. So, he would prefer not to risk his sister walking in or telling her not to come home while you're over. He would also be down for renting out somewhere like a hotel or a private room at a bathhouse.  If possible, his favorite place would be someplace pretty in nature with no risk of being caught. Feeling free in nature, taking pleasure in each other’s bodies.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He for sure gets turned on by eating certain monsters, or just seeing them. If you were open to it, he would talk about them and what he likes about them with you during foreplay. Other things would be you displaying public affection for him verbally. He wouldn’t be a big fan of public physical displays of affection more than handholding or a chaste kiss but if you tell him, you love him or compliment him in public then he would get very excited. He loves it when you make it clear you aren’t ashamed of him.

N = No (something they would not do, turn offs)

Because it would be possible in universe, he would not want to kill you and bring you back to life. IDK why I feel like this should be stated, he also doesn’t like it if/when you risk your life for him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Prefers to give, but we knew this already. Would want to give you oral almost every day, plus he's good at it. Paying attention to what you like and staying on the course. He would do THE MOST to make you feel good, he is somehow more verbal while giving oral than receiving it. Outside of the absolutely lewd clicking and licking sounds, he would whine while giving you oral and would orgasm untouched just by how excited it makes him.

When receiving oral he would enjoy it as well but wouldn’t ask for it outright much more preferring if it’s something you initiate. He would have his resting bitch face for the start, focusing on you and how you look. After it gets hotter and more intense, he would let out little whines and try to stop his hips from thrusting into your mouth. He wants so bad to be good for you. He would only pull his gaze from you as he gets close to his height, trying not to climax before you are ready. He likes when you pay attention the veins running up his cock, he is not a fan of making you gag, though he does take pleasure in the sensations it sends running up his cock, it makes him feel bad that you may be uncomfortable.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He tends to start slow and deep, thoroughly stretching you and letting you feel every inch of him. He wants to please you so he will try to do what you want but left to do what he wants he is honestly a little all over the place. He will speed up out of nowhere being rougher and sloppy as if he just can’t get enough.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)4

He does not want to risk being seen in public. He knows he’s not very socially aware and doesn’t want to make anyone dislike him by putting them in an awkward position.

Not a big fan of quickies. If you're in the dungeon and you need him, he will take you aside and take care of your needs up against a wall, after he has checked for traps.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

You would have to bring up anything risky for him to try out right, he will not pick up on cues you drop. Even then he would be on the safer side of sex, willing to indulge in many things as long as he is prepared and there is a safe way to do it. He is more afraid of hurting you than himself honestly, especially if you want to have sex in the dungeon. He knows that you can be healed but he doesn’t want to take the risk of you being seriously hurt or worse eaten and digested.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

As long as he remains untouched, he can make you feel good for hours. Whether he’s edging you or overstimulating you he will go for as long as you will let him. But if you touch him or let him in on you, he will last one round or two at most. He gets so into it and drunk on your touch that he’s almost tipsy afterwards and will want to just be by you after he orgasms.

After you he would be so into toys, mainly for you and to help you feel good. Though he would be so excited to try a monster inspired dildo/ sheath for you to fuck him with. Would want to use a monster based aphrodisiac with you, consensually. Also, if you got him a flesh light/dildo that was molded after you to take with him when he had to leave, he would probably bust upon seeing it. He would be too shy to use it in the dungeon and would probably leave it at home, afraid of losing it or having one of his party members see it. He would use it when Falin wasn’t home, and he couldn’t see you though.

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Before you he may have bought some sort of self-sex powder made from a monster, but he was too scared to use it. Other than that, he didn’t really indulge in himself that much.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

When in control he tends to be on the quieter side maybe like 30-50% volume, mainly small grunts and whines will escape. He will try to dirty talk or talk you through it, complimenting you and encouraging you.

He's not big on teasing, not verbally at least. He will want to make you horny in public and then do nothing about it until you both are at your place. But when its time he wants to get to the pleasure in a reasonable amount of time, letting the tension and excitement build but not being cruel about it. He has some self-worth issues so he gets off on you telling him how much you want him so he will tease you a little bit until you tell him how desperate you are for him.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

After you get into a stable and official relationship, he would introduce roleplay. As I mentioned before roleplay with him can be intense but one scenario he likes and can be lax about is roleplaying that you are the spouse of some wealthy or high up person and are all alone and new to the island and he is your security guard/ knight your spouse sent to protect you on your travels. You meet in a tavern, and you tell him how lonely you are, that your spouse rarely pleases you. He tells you it would be wrong of him to take advantage of his boss’s trust but that he desires you as well. You would have saved up money to rent a nice room out for the night and you would rush to the room still in character letting your pretend yearning come to a climax.

When you are in control, particular if you are pegging him/ topping him he increases so much, the whining and moaning is almost every other breath for him, the volume level increases with the longer you’re fucking him and the closer he gets to his orgasm. Please overstimulate him he will turn unintelligent and insensible so fast, though he can’t handle it for very long before he drops.

W = Wild card (a random head canon for the character)

After this one scenario he would still call you by your honorable title out in public or in intimate moments.

X = X-ray (let us see what’s going on under those clothes)

He gets hard fairly often when he’s around you or thinks of you but that doesn’t mean that every time, he’s hard he wants to have sex or be touched. I think he is on the lower end of the sex drive when it comes to him wanting to be touched but on the higher end when it come to wanting to please you. I also head-canon him as greysexual so for most of his life he didn’t experience a lot of sexual attraction to people, nor did he want to satisfy himself in that way very often. He gets pleasure from tasting you and making you get off, but it isn’t necessarily just sexual pleasure.

Listen, Laios is an average man physically. That part of his draw. He is about 6 inches hard and has a slightly above-average girth. He is a grower and not a shower, though while soft he is a bit closer to his full size than average. His dick is slightly paler than the rest of him, save for his pink tip which gets darker in hue the more he gets aroused.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Related to the stamina thing, if he orgasmed, he will be out within like thirty minutes, less if you let him remain in you or you stay in him. If he just pleasured you, he would wait until you fell asleep first before letting himself drift off.

He will get very horny sometimes, don’t get me wrong, there will be times where for a full week you would have to use a crow bar to pry him off of you. It just varies, he’s getting used to being comfortable in his sexuality.

Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Masterlist

[violetashfall]

Holding it together.

Where Carl cannot stop staring at the wrong person.

┊ ➶ ｡˚

!basically fem reader - 3rd person!

[name] is described as strong and midsize. (My attempt at an) unmedicated ADHD-coded personality - comes off as someone with high anxiety.

Special tag: @elisiassideb1tch (Hope you like it)

Be warned 5k words.

Slightly Pretend Warnings;

The ‘misunderstanding’ trope is buried in here

Lots of Insecurity & Anxiety (She’s stressed as hell)

Idk, Carl’s a loser PT2 and putting his one eye to use!

It’s so damn long, the opener is mad. I highlighted the part where Carl finally comes in, but it’s very focused on “[name]” instead of Carl through most of it.

lil angsty

The apocalypse wasn't an easy place, filled with more highways that killed you than took you anywhere needed, all roads tattered with dangerous potholes, deadends, or an invisible line that when crossed filled your stomach with animalistic fear, begging you to turn back.

That's what [names] mind felt like to her, each thought always led somewhere it shouldn't… and the only way she could turn it off was by hunting, she had to be quiet and precise, her thoughts stayed on the tracks she followed - and there was always a goal she could reach.

She couldn't say that about anything else, it didn't feel like it, nothing felt like there was an end to it, not even the end of the world.

…Throw yourself into something and you will succeed, that's what her dad always said - the man had problems but he knew how to teach her to hunt, to identify what mushrooms could be eaten, and what plants to nibble on for some extra energy. 

Wake up, get ready, go hunting, catch something, eat, bring some back, settle down for the night - and then repeat. Never. Stop. Moving. Never start thinking about what she could never forget… because she knew if she stopped, that inevitable burnout would hit far quicker than she could handle, that suffocating knowledge of what would happen when she stopped terrified her because then all she could do was think, lay there - isolated as she always was, and just think.

Since [name] always brought back food to share with Alexandira, people noticed the only thing that never seemed to start moving was her mouth, when someone talked to her she stayed quiet, her mind screaming at her to just run, to make them stop speaking to her, stop acknowledging her…

It became a rule in her mind to not acknowledge something that didn't want to exist, that shouldn’t exist, and in [names] mind, that was her - the thing that shouldn’t be, just like the virus, the walkers, the collapse of everything… It didn't just stem from simple teenage insecurity, it was born from the world killing itself around her, there was no security to be found in the decay, the security she desperately needed and others somehow found.

While she tried not to look at herself, acknowledge she existed, that she could be seen and heard, felt, touched, she still knew her capabilities - you didn’t need to look in the mirror to know how far you could push yourself until breaking point, to know you’re already being pushed, how that band squeezing you, keeping you together would soon snap. 

[name] knew she was strong, strong as whatever held her together, and even though she could hear that band around her groaning and feel it tightening, she didn’t stop moving, because if she kept moving then she didn’t have to think about the things that haunted her. 

She was glad she could still find some light, tracing through the forests, each and every sound filling her mind instead of her overwhelming thoughts… even the fear was downed out.

So when Rick Grimes asked if Carl could accompany her on her hunts, asking her to teach his son a thing or two about tracking and foraging - [name] had to make a decision.

It gnawed at her for nights, she never felt right telling someone no, and it felt selfish to know she didn't want to take Carl, to teach him something so vital to survival, the guilt ate her up, the countless hours her stomach turned and her hands perspired from knowing her safe place would be filled with a watcher who had one piercing blue eye. She couldn’t concentrate during the days that slowly passed… she never could unless she threw herself into whatever finally stuck… all to be unforgivingly spat out without warning whenever her mind decided it was time to let go of everything, anything but the worry that ate her alive.

Ultimately, [name] felt she had to say yes, that week Rick gave her to mull it over got cut short when she agreed after three days.

It was just helping out a boy her age …Still, she was expecting the worst from their first hunt, praying the day never came and also begging for it to be over with already.

Carl wasn’t late, but [name] was early, she had waited and waited until the day came, beating herself up over how this little thing was affecting her so much. She had been standing and watching the gates from afar, the restless half hour already making her pacing feet sore. She wasn’t impatient, she swore it… so why couldn’t she wait like a “normal” person? That was a question she didn’t want to hear the answer to, and luckily the thoughts were interrupted by a sheriff’s hat catching her attention - Carl Grimes moving up to the gates with a pip in his step.

Carl was a… cool kid. He talked a little funny and always wore a goofy grin around his small family… That was pretty much all she knew about him as she tried not to know who she was feeding - she could imagine feeling that anxiety of someone you know going over the walls, risking themselves, so she tried not to know anybody.

“...So, uh… do you like comics?” Carl asked after many minutes of complete, tense, silence. They had gotten past the gates 30 minutes ago and all [name] did was throw him a nod and a ‘let's go’ It was not what he expected from a girl with eyes as full as hers were.

Similar to [name], Carl had been counting the days too, how couldn’t he? She was such a mystery… one he had the opportunity to learn from.

The voiceless silence held for another minute, the sounds of Carl’s boots stumbling over a tree root broke through the atmospheric sounds, prompting [name] to finally answer, “...No.” her voice was quiet and her eyes kept locked forward - She didn't mean to seem so standoffish, or rude, she just couldn't help but feel panic when someone, anyone, questioned her… she didn’t get how she was supposed to teach him anything, trying to figure what to point out, trying to catch a trail to even begin the “lesson”.

Carl's lips parted and closed several times as he tried to figure out what to say - he hadn't met a kid his age who just didn't like comics or was so blunt about it, every teen in Alexandria had opened one, it was one of the only forms of entertainment for them. “Have you ever read any?”

[name’s] jaw tightened a little. It wasn't like she wanted to seem unapproachable, she just didn't want to be approached… “No,” She answered again, it felt odd to say no, the words didn’t quite fit her tongue. That time her voice had a slight waver of nervousness Carl didn’t catch.

“Can you say you don't like them if you've never tried?” Carl questioned, wanting to start something friendly, lips twitching as he tried not to speak more and more. He didn’t even see the anxiety in all her movements or catch the uneasy glances she threw around the forest. 

What would a girl like her have to be anxious about? …Other than the obvious of an apocalypse... she just seemed capable enough to deal with it on her own. Carl thought so, most people did, but [name] knew she wasn't. She resented herself for it - these were things she didn’t want anyone to uncover, so she didn’t answer his question with anything more than a shrug, keeping it short, nothing to grab on to and use for more conversation… more guilt inevitably built up.

Carl moved beside her as they walked, eye soon trained on her arm as her unbuttoned flannel draped off it. A part of him wanted to feel jealous that she was obviously stronger than him, insecure that the girl was in much better shape for the apocalypse - but instead, all he got was a lousy crush, one he had held for a few months, he was very curious about the girl who could out-hunt Daryl Dixon, had been since he saw 2 guards help her lug a deer into Alexandria.

[name] looked at Carl, feeling a slight glare coming along as she tugged her dropped sleeve back over her arm - feeling something she could only describe as insecurity crash over her in a heated wave. She finally realised how much Carl was eyeing her - looking at her more than she had herself in weeks.

She kept moving, hoping that embarrassed blush wouldn't follow her, that the worries and stupid insecurities wouldn't either, but they all followed her… reminding her of each and every emotion she was trying to suppress so desperately.

It was supposed to be her time, hunting, alone as always, the one thing she could do without losing interest, without failing - but now she had a watcher, someone trying to learn off her - someone acknowledging every move she made, all while trying to perceive her. She felt so weak when she realised she wanted to cry, that it was too much, that she was so overwhelmed - she didn’t know how to cool down, all she could do was wait.

Carl quickly diverted his attention when he realised he got caught staring - not quite feeling like the blind idiot he should have, he didn’t know she was insecure, didn't even think she could be. 

She reminded him of certain women in his vintage comic books, the statuesque aliens from female-dominated planets, how they were drawn with strong, rounded arms and shapely legs with wide hips he just wanted to touch, how they dipped before meeting outer thigh. He quite liked those comics and began favouring them the older he got, looking over the pages for longer than he’d care to admit… Looking over [name] more than he’d care to admit.

These women were always depicted with poisonously neon skin and skimpy studded outfits, completely unrealistic, in all ways–Carl assumed. He didn’t believe he’d actually see a body reflect the shapes on paper so well, but there [names] body was, hidden under loose clothes that draped over her hips as if it were carefully chiselled marble, Carl was sure she was Aphrodite’s favourite creation.

[name] peeked over her shoulder to see Carl staring at her legs, lips closed yet jaw slightly slack… [name] thought he was about to talk with such an expression on his face. She looked forward again, cheeks flushed red and suddenly everything sounded too loud, time passed too slow, and she felt too seen, too judged. How was she supposed to believe she had caught an admirer when she was hellbent on pretending she didn't exist?

“You see everything around us? Can you tell how many animals and how little walkers move through here?” She asked Carl, desperately trying to get his attention off of her. She was not so subtly directing his attention to some animal tracks they could follow, anything to get his eye off her. Carl tore his stare away from her legs, her hips - looking around at what the hell he was supposed to find, “I think there are some rabbits that pass through?” He questioned, pointing at the small uneven breaks in the dirt, printed with hops of lucky little rabbit feet, he could also catch some chew marks on low plants - didn't that mean they were safe to eat?

[name] nodded her head, a slight shrug to her shoulders as her fists clenched and unclenched. “Mhm, good job.” She began walking to find a fresh trail to set Carl on, but Carl found it hard to walk without his knees wobbling for a second. Her murmured praise doing things to him - the person he admired so fully had complimented him. 

Maybe his desperation to know her was from how aloof she seemed, how she didn’t look him in the eye or make conversation, she just seemed so uninterested in him - it made him want to get her attention so badly. He was so oblivious to how nervous he made her, everyone made her… So he started conversation again.

“So, how’d you learn this stuff?” He asked, following after her as he secured the bandage around his eye again, trying to stop his gawking by only looking at her face, he needed to see her rounded cheeks swell with a smile someday. 

[name] tried to take some inconspicuous deep breaths, frustration flooding through her since he kept prying at her. [name] was trying to find the rabbit's tracks, trying not to break down and cry like the little child she felt she was... All she felt like she did was try sometimes, try and fail, but she didn’t fold that time, she kept a straight face, unaffected, “confident”...

“Let's follow these tracks.” She diverted - not wanting to answer his question. [name] found herself unable to straighten her neck from the slouch she walked in, an attempt at looking intrigued by the rabbit tracks she’d seen thousands of times before.

Carl nodded his head, once again failing to make eye contact with her at the rare time she wasn’t ahead of him. He shook his head, ready to try again any chance he got.

[name] knew she had to find a way to get behind him, let him feel like he was accomplishing something so he didn’t focus on her so entirely.

The little silence didn't last long, and neither did [names] mock interest, looking around the forest like she was trying to find something - only seeing trees, more trees, and maybe an extra tree. 

Carl snuck up beside her as they slowly followed the trail, eye smoothly travelling to her after pretending the sky was so interesting, “The– uh, how you learnt?” He quickly fumbled what was supposed to be a smooth reminder, “--to hunt?” he cleared up like he meant to, cheeks puffing for a split second as he awkwardly coughed. “How’d you learn to hunt?”

[name] actually sighed at that, her step buffering for a moment when she realised what she had done, “Um, my dad?” She said, actually replying in a clearer tone, voice surprisingly gentle, subtly apologising for the irritability she showed, even if he may not have caught it, “He taught me, we lived in a small place… our backyard was basically a hunting ground.” To anyone, she’d sound friendly, open–but she felt like a Gecko dropping its tail, she was giving herself time to escape, to think of a plan to answer the least amount of questions she could while he thought on the one she had already given him.

Carl’s eyebrow raised, looking around at the tracks again as he subconsciously led, not noticing how she purposely kept dragging on a step to slow down and get behind him. 

“That’s cool, deep in the woods?” He questioned, rolling his shoulders as he took more notice of the forest around them. [name] nodded her head, finally looking at him now he wasn’t staring at her, “Yeah, a super shabby cabin.” she rubbed the back of her neck, feeling the ache slowly subside.

Carl knew better than to ask about family, even though he was so curious. “That’s cool, you must feel more prepared than all of us.”

[name] wanted to disagree, she wanted her opinion known to such an assuming boy, but at the same time, she couldn't find any real desire to speak, not enough. Not nearly enough.

Carl realised she wasn't going to answer, what was he supposed to ask next? “Do you think these trails go on for long?” he thought that probably sounded like a stupid question, but what else was he supposed to ask? When he looked back at her, he managed to catch her eye contact for a second before she looked away. He had a little smile trying to curve the corner of his lips, finally... She had looked him in the eye.

“Maybe, they’re new…ish, we’ll see.” She tried to urge him to continue walking by picking up her pace, hoping he’d copy. The day had already been too long and it was only an hour since they left the walls, more and more were to be accumulated.

 “...You’re out here a lot,” Carl murmured. Simple enough, as long as he got a few mumbles back he’d keep speaking. His mind raced with other questions though, mouth barely parted to prompt more and more, already itching for another answer. [name] wanted to roll her eyes again, feeling guilt pooling out her palms as she rubbed the anxious dew off and onto her jeans. “Mhm, Gotta be.”

“You sound like Daryl,” Carl chuckled, shaking his head a little at his thought, “do you know him?” He slowed his steps, trying to walk beside her in the awkwardly small path, a hand on the top of his hat so it didn’t get knocked off by all the tigs knocking his head.

“No.” She didn’t know anyone, Carl was bound to find out what a loser she was that day, something she didn’t want - why couldn't she just ghost her way through life? It’d be easier. She rubbed her eyebrow and took a big deep breath - Carl seeing what a nervous move that was got comforted by it, he wasn’t alone in his awkwardness anymore, “Oh… Have you ever talked to him?”

“No.” When was the last time she said ‘no’ so much? When she was a toddler throwing a tantrum after wearing the wrong socks? “--He grunted at me once, after I spooked him while sitting in a tree, I didn’t mean to - he didn’t know I was there until I snapped a twig.” She hated how much she was talking, it felt wrong, everything felt wrong.

Carl laughed a little, watching as her movements grew more anxious the longer she spoke - he assumed he’d get the reverse effect - how was he supposed to get her comfortable around him? She was out of his league, he didn’t get her, but he was hellbent on trying, “Sounds like him… You climb?”

Of course she climbed, you needed to climb better than you could run in the apocalypse, “Do you?” She asked, looking around again - clearly not focused on the trail at all, barely following after his steps. Carl didn’t know he’d be leading so fast, he didn’t mind though - it was nice to believe she thought him capable. “Yeah,” He nodded, voice cracking slightly - his freckled nose scrunching as his throat betrayed him, he wasn’t all that good at climbing, but he had to butter himself up.

[names] brows cocked with a lazy nod, once again Carl realised she wasn’t about to add anything else. She wasn’t a very talkative teacher, a part of him liked she was just letting him find things out on his own - he hadn’t got such aloof treatment from anyone else, and he didn’t seem to be a helpless kid in her mind. “You just sit in trees, huh?”

[name] felt his tone was mocking, creating trouble in her mind that wasn’t real. “Mhm,” She murmured her eyes moving to him and settling on his shoulders.

“That, that's cool…” He mumbled with a shrug, looking back to the trail as he tried to salvage the situation, why did he feel like he said the wrong thing? He was confused. “I bet you.. See a lot…” He dryly ended, mentally facepalming at his dull observation.

“Sometimes.” [name] replied, on the verge of becoming completely monosyllabic. She felt her stomach twist further, the back of her throat burning as the pressure to keep talking kept getting harder and harder to ignore, “Better to take a break in a tree than on the ground, don’t want to get eaten.”

Carl had a hard time listening to her mumble, but he caught it enough to reply, “Oh, right. Yeah, that’s true.” He sniffled airily, following the rabbity trail around a tree as the animal seemed to have drifted to the right. “Better safe than sorry,” He had to suppress the groan that wanted to come out–using parental sayings would totally woo her, right?

[name] hummed softly, a short moment that seemed to make all the sounds in the forest go silent for Carl. “My dad used to say that,” She said a little too naturally for her own liking. Carl peeked at her from the corner of his eye, did he ask about her father now? Would that be too much? 

“My dad does too,” Safe enough, he thought, nodding his head as he picked up his pace to get some of that uncomfortable energy out.

The trail went on and on, and so did Carl’s thoughts the longer voiceless time seemed to pass, wondering who he was alone with.

…did she have friends? Who were they? Why were they her friends and he wasn’t? His thoughts bounced around–It’s not like he knew many people his age, there was Ron, dead. And there was Mikey but they drifted apart, luckily Enid stuck around - his second best friend after Michonne… Maybe [name] knew Enid? The two girls were practically the only ones in Alexandria. “Do you know Enid?” He broke the silence that had stretched for half an hour while they slowly trailed after the rabbit prints. [name] jumped a little, getting reminded she wasn’t alone as they had stopped for a minute. Carl searched around, trying to recatch the trail that went cold while she knelt to examine some mushrooms growing near the trees. 

“...Your girlfriend?” She questioned - Carl was close to going red, his head whipping around to look at the girl who was poking at ghostly white mushrooms. “No! No–” He said, desperately trying to sound available to her - it didn’t help that [name] finally looked over her shoulder at him, eyes meeting his one. He was frozen, quickly cracking that ice that caused his muscles to go stiff and looked away. “She’s my best friend…” He mumbled, glancing at her to see something he didn’t expect - a cheeky fucking smirk that made his heart drop.

“Oh,” [name] said, examining the mushrooms once more, believing Carl just had a thing for the girl if he was acting shy and defensive. “No, I don’t. She’s sweet though, I’ve heard her laugh.” 

Carl's brow furrowed, that was… cute. Would she say nice things about him to someone else?

[name] plucked a mushroom from the ground, standing up and moving towards Carl, twirling the capped fungi between two fingers. “You know what this is?” She asked, the prior silence that settled on them got her to calm some nerves, the deeper they got into the forest the more and more brush built up, and the closer the trees got - the harder it became for walkers to get through. Semi-safe, bustling with wildlife and plants that caught her eye… easy to ignore Carl’s presence that made her so nervous.

“Um,” He blinked, watching as she walked close - trying not to check her out anymore than he already had. “Is it... Edible?” He questioned, almost trying to get a hint, he wished he listened to Maggie more when she pointed out mushrooms to Glenn.

“No,” She said, “It’s very poisonous,” She told him, a brow raising. Carl saw how the plant interested her - finally, he found something she liked. Now he had to know everything about mushrooms. She spoke up again to his delight, “They’re usually just called Destroying Angel mushrooms, they're very pretty - right? But they can kill you.”

‘Like you’ Carl wanted to mutter, wondering why she was touching it if it was so poisonous, but he would touch her even if poison seeped from her skin, so… “You can touch it?” He asked, stepping closer to look at the mushroom, forgetting about the trail completely. “Yeah, but it’s best not to, just in case.” She shrugged, Carl unable to look away from her face again as his heart did flips - maybe all she needed was a mushroom to talk about and she was off - like him and his comics. He found her too sweet, “Oh, so… It’s only dangerous if you eat them?”

[name] nodded, catching his piercing blue eye for a second before her stomach got all tight again - quite mortified she was speaking so freely, having forgotten Carl was an actual person with thoughts, and quickly remembering his staring problem that got insecurities to swallow her whole. “Yeah, I’ve seen some deer nibble on them, I’m not sure if they’re edible to them or if they don’t eat enough to get sick.” She decided to throw some more information out, she was supposed to be teaching him after all… 

Carl couldn’t figure out how to respond, what was happening? Did he throw out another “cool”? A “that's so awesome”? He stayed quiet to his horror, but [name] didn’t seem to mind at all, if anything she preferred the silence. 

“Have you lost the trail? Need me to help?” She asked, moving away from the boy as he fidgeted with his sheriff's hat.  As Carl stuttered a sentence, brain lagging as he tried to say no - but she had already pinpointed where it started again, little black boots continuing through the uneven grass the rabbit had hopped through. She decided to say some more, figuring out just how to keep him quiet, she’d try his ego next - giving him another compliment to fill his mind instead of curiosity, “You’re doing really good, I thought you’d lose the trail much earlier than this.” God, she felt so awkward.

“Thanks?” He said as he caught up to her, not knowing if she was dissing him by assuming he’d lose it quicker than he did, but he couldn’t deny how happy he felt that she said he was great… well, doing great. “...Say we do find rabbits, do we just… bring them back? Do I get to shoot?” He asked, not exactly wanting to kill fluffy little creatures, but he knew he had to suck it up, he planned on living until his last elderly breath - and he had to be able to hunt if that was going to happen, scavenging was already becoming harder and harder.

“Sure, If you want.” She agreed, nodding her head as she answered his questions, “They’re just rabbits.. they shouldn’t be hard to bring back.” She shrugged her shoulders, feeling more comfortable around him if she ignored how he had stared at her… But she wasn’t the best at ignoring intrusive thoughts, the ones that told her he was judging her.

“Right, yeah.” Carl nodded, eye flickering with a blink as the sun that leaked through the forest's canopy pooled into his pupil, if only he didn’t look like an idiot when wearing sunglasses. “Um, do you take many breaks?” He wondered, he didn’t want to seem weak like he needed breaks - but he was one-eyed with a dodgy ear canal: he got dizzy easily - it meant he did indeed need breaks, the ones he usually refused to take…

[name] wanted to say no, tell him the truth, but Rick had warned her about his son's difficulty after the poor boy got shot in the face - Carl had easy enough needs to accommodate, god knows she had them too, ones that weren’t as simple as his. “Yeah, of course.” She nodded her head, she was ready for one thing - and that was making it easy on Carl to get through the hunt - because if she was easy on him, that meant less would go wrong, no extra difficulty to overcome. “Would you like one now?” She questioned. Carl shook his head - playing it cool, “No,” He told her before reluctantly adding, “Maybe in 20 minutes?” He knew his limits, and he couldn’t risk pushing them too far with [name] bearing witness.

“Sounds good,” She agreed, not knowing how she was supposed to have a break, what was she supposed to do? Just sit..? What if it turned into her never wanting to get up again? That had happened more times than she could count.

Carl began following the trail quicker than before, fumbling limbs rushing to impress her with pretend ease he didn’t really have. The longer he spent in the forest the more things he began messing up, he thought she'd be tough about it, but she just silently pointed to the tracks he missed when he got too twisted up. he needed a break half an hour ago, but he could push himself a little further - just for her. 

Tracking through the forest wasn’t easy for Carl if he wasn’t getting distracted by how [name] moved it was his headache that began building, it didn’t matter how many sips of water he took he needed to take a painkiller, ones he didn’t like using knowing someone else could need them more than him, but he needed to be his best self in front of [name] so he discreetly took a few when she wasn’t looking.

“Can we take a break?” He rubbed the back of his head, feet planted on the ground as dizziness fogged his mind, ready to sit and wait for the medication to kick in. 

[name] looked at Carl as she paused with him, seeing a small grimace on his face - Rick had warned her about the migraines. “Good spot to sit a while,” She agreed, kicking her boots through some fallen leaves, hand getting placed on the trunk of a tree she resisted climbing up instinctively - despite what Carl said earlier, she couldn’t imagine he’d be in a good place to climb. She could sit on the ground that once, she didn’t always need to be on full alert... Right?

Moving to a small clearing, [name] sat down on littered grass, able to see little bugs move through the dirt. Carl watched as she sat, not so sneakily trying to sit beside her… staring at her from the corner of his eye, yet he couldn’t do it for long, finally giving into the urge to lean back against a tree and cover his vision with his hat, blocking out the bright light that had been taunting him ever since he got shot.

[name] watched with some curiosity, seeing how the boy just… stopped. He made it look easy, like a choice, she wanted to copy him - to see if she could get used to breaks too. She took a tense breath, shuffling to rest against the tree closest to her. She leaned back, slowly closing her eyes, ankles crossed over each other as her head fell back against wood.

The more [name] thought about it the easier she felt around him, Carl was damaged too - maybe she didn’t have to wear a full mask around him, well, a full suit of armour was the better description... 

Maybe agreeing to Rick’s request wasn’t so bad after all, because there she sat - for once able to stop without her thoughts filling the depths of her mind with draining worry… Maybe the rest of her day wouldn’t be so bad…

SO, I’m impressed if you read this far! I had so much fun writing this, I got stuck many times near the “end”… still, I’m hoping to make a little series :) Confession time: I haven't watched TWD in a year, I’m so scared to rewatch it because jesusss do I get jealous (Of a zombie apocalypse, I know..) I get a little crazy and so despondent, I think I’m gonna flip through clips so I remember how the characters act instead.

I’m so surprised I’m publishing another Carl story before I posted a Ron or Enid one, but It got prompted by a request from a lovely person so how couldn't I?!? It’s so long but I feel like I have much more I wanted to write anyway...

[maochira]

Blue Lock boys seeing your scars for the first time

Characters: Rin, Barou, Isagi, Tokimitsu, Zantetsu

Tags: gn!reader, established relationship, reader has a past of self-harm (cutting), fluff and comfort!!!

Only read if you're in the right mental space to confront yourself with this topic - stay safe!💟 Also, please don't request more of these. It's a sensitive and personal topic that I'll only write about if I feel like I'm in the right mental space (side note: I've been clean for almost 4 years:])

You're a few weeks into your relationship with your boyfriend, and while you've already talked a lot about deeper topics, something like self-harm never came up and you never found the right moment to tell him about your past with it. You weren't intentionally hiding it from him, but you knew you had to tell him at some point. Today you finally find a good moment for it...

As soon as you tell him about it, Rin is in denial. Even after you show him your scars, he keeps saying things like "No, you didn't do that" because he can't stand the thought of you hurting yourself. After a few minutes, he processed the new information and pulls you into a tight hug. He doesn't let go for minutes and keeps repeating how much he loves you and that if you ever get the urge to do something to yourself again, he'll be there for you until those thoughts are gone. "And you know I wouldn't love you any less if you ever hurt yourself again, right? But I'd do anything to prevent it from happening again."

Barou isn't sure about what to say. He just looks at you with a mix of shock and worry. He's afraid of saying something wrong that could hurt you in a moment like this - he knows he comes across as too harsh often - so he wants to let his actions speak instead. He looks down at your arms and gently pushes up your sleeves. The sight of your scars makes his heart ache, but it doesn't make him love you any less. This only makes him more overprotective over you than he already is. Barou carefully grabs your wrists and pulls your arms close to his face before he starts placing kisses all over your scars. "You're so strong... Those scars show the mental battles you went through. I'll make sure no battle will ever be bad enough to leave scars on your skin again."

Isagi gets worried immediately. He doesn't want to step over any boundaries, but he can't help but ask you a few questions about it. He doesn't force you to say anything you don't want to, but there are a few things he wants to know like for how long you've been clean, if you still get the urge to hurt yourself and what he can do to help if the urge returns. He politely asks if he can see your scars, even though it makes his heart hurt. He knows he'll get used to it at some point. It's a part of you he doesn't want to look away from. "Thank you so much for trusting me with this... You know you're still as beautiful to me as before, right? Your scars are a part of you, please never feel ashamed of them."

The moment you mention your past with self-harm, Tokimitsu gets tears in his eyes. He's really trying his best to not start bawling his eyes out, but when he gets the first glimpse of your scars, he can't hold his tears back anymore. He pulls you into a hug and starts apologizing over and over for crying because he doesn't want you to feel bad for your past. He refuses to let go of the hug and he also squeezes you a little too tight. He's just full of emotions and needs you this close to his body so he can process what you just told him. "S-sorry... It's just a lot to take in for me right now. But... I'm so proud of you for getting through this. You're so strong..."

Zantetsu gets extremely afraid of saying something stupid now. As much as he knows you don't mind his stupidity, he wants to avoid accidentally triggering you. He listens to everything you tell him about it and often nods to signal he's listening and understanding. Although, his sudden silence does worry you a little. When he gets to see your scars for the first time, he's speechless for a few moments. He feels like he has to say something now. He gets lost in his thoughts while trying to find the right words to say. You're already used to this, so you let him take his time until he feels confident enough to speak. But even after minutes, he can't manage to find the right words, so he pulls you into a long kiss and as you pull your faces away from each other, he looks into your eyes with the most loving expression you've ever seen on him. It tells you way more than words ever could.

Taglist: @starhrtz, @zyuuuu, @gojosorrygeto, @luvcalico, @rienniey, @kalinkavx, @kaineedstherapy12, @remy-rollm @truegoist, @vanitasbrainrot, @st4rcheese - sign up for my taglist right here!

[frescoisnotinthemilitary]

Not sure if this is how I send you asks but could you do a König x male baker reader? Like a fluff story? Like at some point Konig realizes he's in love with the sweet baker? If not that's fine too 🫶🏾🫶🏾 please?

Sweet Tooth

König x Male!Baker!Reader

Warnings: Swearing, fluff, and König being clueless about his feelings (Tags apply differently. Jokes about suicide, meant to be read with a light heart)

Pronouns for reader: you, he/him, reader is implied male

A/N: I really appreciate this opportunity to write for a character I haven't really written for or considered writing for in the past. I’ve also never written for a male reader before, so thanks so much for this ask! I’m also a firm believer that König drinks an unhealthy amount of hot chocolate. We’re talking 4+ cups on a normal day. I was given the idea and it kind of spiraled. He’s also shy and very pookie-coded here, I think.  Let me know if any of the German is wrong, I relied heavily on Google Translate for this. Also if I missed anything. I’ve read this so many times that the words are melting together and I just needed to post it. Sorry this took so long, I’ve been sick and it’s kicked my ass.

It was a bit of a shock, the first time he walked into the bakery. At almost seven feet tall, how could he not be a shock? 

Ding. The soft tinkle of the bell above the door alerts you to the presence of the morning’s first customer. You glance up, and the smile drops from your face, then immediately reappears. 

“Good morning! Take your time with the menu, and let me know when you’re ready to order.” Your voice cuts through the silence. “I’m going to go take some muffins from the oven, but I'll be back soon. Let me know when you're ready, alright?”

“Ja.” A man’s deep rumble sounded from under his dark veil. You notice his head tip back up toward the chalkboard menu as you slip through the swinging doors to the kitchen. 

When you return, holding a tray of still-warm muffins, he looks to you. “Bitte, ah, please, may I order?”

“Mhm,” you hum in response, your chest buzzing with the vibrato. “What would you like?” The air is filled for a moment with the quiet sound of each muffin tapping onto the glass display plate. 

“May I have a- a blueberry scone, and a medium, ah, large, hot chocolate, please?” He asks. You notice him picking at his gloves and shrinking down as if trying to appear smaller than he is. 

Maybe he’s shy. The thought makes you smile inwardly. “Yup. I’ll get those for you. Sorry for the wait, it’s just me this morning.” 

“Die Stille [hush], it is- do not worry. It is no problem.” 

Oh my god, he really is shy. 

“For here, or to go?” 

“To go. Danke.”

Several minutes later, you raise a hand in a slight wave as he leaves, paper bag and steaming cup clutched in one gargantuan mitt. “Have a good day.”

“Ja. You as well,” he replies. 

It becomes routine, after a while. At first, it was about once a week. Then, it was a few times. Now, Monday through Saturday, he’s the first customer in the bakery, often causing the bell to ring as soon as you flip the sign. 

It’s a typical Tuesday morning, about a month after he started coming in. You’ve already opened the door, he’s received his usual order, and you’re curious. “What’s your name?” You ask, the urge to inquire obscuring any boundaries you might cross. 

He considers lying for a moment, but you’ve been kinder than most. Always assisting him whenever you could, treating him like a human, not like an apathetic war machine. 

“König,” he answers. 

“König,” you repeat. “Isn’t that German for ‘king’? Are you German?” You can’t keep the questions in. They fall from your lips before you recognize that what you’ve asked is invasive. He’s a customer. He’s here to get cocoa and a scone, not be bombarded by questions he might not even want to answer. 

But the man seems unfazed. “Ja, it is German. However, I am from Austria, not Germany.” 

Thank god for those Duolingo lessons, you think. 

“Oh. I’m sorry for all the questions so suddenly, but what do you do for work? Do you work around here?” The embarrassment you felt at the barrage of questions leaving your lips ebbs, and you feel more comfortable asking them now. 

“Ah, well,” he hesitated. “I am a Marine. I am a colonel. I work on the KorTac base, just outside of the city.” He checked his watch, then looked back up to you. “I’m sorry. I have to go, now. It was good speaking with you. Ah, goodbye.” 

It seems rushed, but you think little of it. He’s just shy. 

“Oh, yeah. Of course. See you tomorrow.” 

“Ja, I will be here.”

Tomorrow comes and goes. As does the next day. And the next, and so on. You don’t ask any more questions, as he seemed to leave hastily the last time. 

But he wishes you would. Why did I not ask one of him? I want to know more about the man, the little voice in the back of his head tells him. 

Weeks pass. He returns again. And you’re feeling brave.  

“König?” Your voice accompanies the sound of the paper bag as he grabs the top. “Would you, uh…” You trail off. 

“Would I what, Schätzchen [sweetie]?” 

“Would…” You had a hard time getting the words out. Your palms begin to sweat against the counter, and everything seems to be amplified tenfold. “Would you like to get dinner sometime?” You blurt. 

König is silent for a moment. Then, “Dinner?”

“Uh- yeah. With me.” You wish you could see under the veil, as he doesn’t answer. It seems like hours before König’s head tilts back upward to you. 

A small smile grows on his face, not that you can see it. He finally speaks, and his voice is soft. “Ja. I would like that, very much. Thank you.”

He doesn’t understand why his neck feels hot. His ears. His cheeks. His face is on fire and he doesn’t know why. 

You breathe a sigh of relief. He didn’t reject me. He wants to go to dinner. 

Shit. He wants to go to dinner.

“Cool, cool. What, uh, what kind of food do you like?” You ask casually, as if talking about the weather. As if you hadn’t just asked Colonel Colossus to grab a whole ass meal with you. 

He thinks for a moment before responding. “I quite enjoy anything. I am in favor of the foods of my Austrian background, though I am sure you are much more accustomed to those of your home. The choice is yours, mein Täubchen [my dove].” 

“Uh, well, it’s not Austrian, but there’s a little German restaurant a few blocks from here.”

Why did he ask me to choose? “If that’s okay.” 

König smiles, though his glowing cheeks remain obscured by the veil. “That sounds perfect, Mein Schatz [my dear].”

Your face lights up. “Great. When are you free?”

[therealcocoshady]

Recovery - Chapter 25

Eminem x FemReader Fanfiction

Summary : Em has trouble handling the breakup when Jamal shows up with bad news.

Tags : ANGST, Comfort

MARSHALL’S POV 

The hardest part about grieving his relationship with Y/N was that he didn’t really have anyone to talk to about it, since they hardly told anyone. The only people who knew about the breakup were Talia, Jamal and Hailie. For obvious reasons, he didn’t feel like telling his daughter how sad he was over a relationship she didn’t approve of. Jamal had actually reached out a couple of times, saying that he was sorry it was over with Y/N and that he was here if he needed to talk, but seeing as he was his ex’s roommate, Marshall didn’t feel too comfortable with the idea. 

Ever since the breakup, a couple weeks ago, he was in a state of constant mood swings : he would find himself in his bedroom, staring at the ceiling for hours, before being overcome by anger, followed by deep sadness. He was fifty-one, feeling like a heart-broken teenager, lonely and sad in a huge house whose every corner reminded him of Y/N. It was the most depressing place in the world and yet, there was nowhere else he’d rather be. This led him to do something extremely out of character : canceling studio sessions for two weeks and staying in bed most of the time. He also dodged most calls and failed to answer texts - not that he was too good at keeping up with it anyway. Most of the time, he wondered where Y/N was at, what she was doing, how she was feeling. The sadness he had seen in her eyes as they parted ways haunted him. 

It was sunday and, as usual, he was having his kids and their significant others over for family brunch. He tried his best to put on a happy face but to no avail. 

Dad ? Are you even listening to me ? Stevie asked, interrupting his train of thoughts. 

Sorry, I wasn’t, he admitted. Mind repeating ? 

I was thinking of getting a pet snake. I just don’t know which one yet. 

That made him chuckle for the first time in a week. Stevie and pets - a greater love story than most. 

Don’t you have enough of a zoo ? He asked. It’s a lot of work. And don’t forget school. 

I know, Dad. “School is important, blah, blah, blah”, she gestured imitating him. 

Well it’s my job to remind you, he shrugged. Anyway, don’t count on me for pet-sitting. 

Me neither, Hailie said with a hint of disgust. 

Neither, Alaina chimed in. 

Fine, Stevie said as she rolled her eyes. 

Marshall went back to his thoughts, letting his kids argue about what kind of unusual pet was the worst : spiders or snakes. He thought about Y/N and how she would feel about the debate, knowing full-well that she had a phobia of both. 

It’s probably not too wise to have a pet snake with a baby on the way, though, Stevie said. 

This caused Marshall to spit his orange juice. 

You’re pregnant ?! He blurted out. 

Now we’ve got your attention, she said with a grin as everyone laughed. I’m kidding. 

Very funny, he said sarcastically. Thanks for the heart attack by the way. I’m not ready to be a grandpa just yet. 

You do know that Hailie and I are older than you when you became a Dad, right ? Alaina asked. 

True, he hummed. Stevie is not, though. You can’t have a baby, you’re still one. 

I’m 21, she said as she rolled her eyes. But relax, I don’t want kids anyway. 

That’s my girl, he said with a smile. 

All I’m saying is that you could be a grandpa someday soon, Alaina continued. Now that we’re married, Matt and I might decide to start trying. 

You’d be good parents, he said with a smile. I mean, I’ll never be ready for that day, but I guess a new addition to the family would be welcome. Not a snake, though. 

How about you ? Stevie asked. 

What about me ? He hummed. 

Well you broke up with Nicole months ago, but maybe you’ll be the one bringing someone new to the family, she said. We’re out of the house and we don’t want you to be lonely, right ? I swear, it feels like you’re not even trying… 

He stared at Hailie who tried to hide a scoff by faking a cough. Obviously, she had been true to her words and hadn’t told her sisters anything - not that there was anything to say anymore… 

Let’s put it this way, he sighed. There’s more chances of me getting a pet snake than bringing a lady into this family. 

His tone was dry and sarcastic. Now that Y/N was gone, he felt like he might actually end up alone. But in the end, he wasn’t sure he wanted to be with anyone if he wasn’t with her. The perspective of even holding the hand of someone else was rebutting to him. Hailie looked at him with a raised eyebrow. 

We’re short on pancakes, she said. I’ll make some. Help me in the kitchen, Dad ? 

That was a lame excuse, but he followed her anyway. 

What’s wrong with you ? She asked with a worried face once they were alone. 

Nothing, he said. 

Dad… You haven’t paid attention all day, you look like you haven’t slept in ages and you implied that there’s nothing going on in your love life when we both know it’s not true, she stated. 

There’s nothing going on anymore, Hay, he said dryly. Now, I don’t mean to be rude, but I would appreciate it if you waited for me to leave the kitchen before you do some happy dance of celebration. 

Don’t snap at me, she said as her eyebrows furrowed. 

Sorry, he said as he pinched the area between his eyes. You’re right. I am tired and I shouldn’t be taking it out on anyone. 

So… It’s over ? She asked calmly. 

Yeah. 

He didn’t bother commenting on the circumstances of the breakup. 

Want to talk about it ? She offered. 

I’m good, he said as he took her in his arms. I just need some rest. I’m taking a small break from recording, that’ll do me some good. 

I thought you were close to being done with the new album ? 

It can wait, he said. I need to chill for a bit. 

I’m worried for you, Dad… 

Don’t. I’ll get over it, he said. 

“Chickens they come they go”, she playfully sung his lyrics. 

Thanks for quoting the clean version, he chuckled. 

They shared a laugh. In this moment, he was grateful for his family and especially his daughters. 

6 WEEKS LATER

The two week break ended up turning into a month and a half long one. He came up with various excuses but in the end, it didn’t really matter. He didn’t feel like seeing anyone besides his family and he was in no mood to work anyway. Everytime he tried to write something, it felt like a disaster. His inspiration seemed to have run dry. 

However, his friends were persistent and, once they understood that he was definitely screening the calls, they took turns showing up at his place to make sure he was alright. The official version was that he was a bit burnt-out. He was not sure if he should come clean about his breakup. He was starting to feel the need to talk about it, to talk about Y/N. She had tried to call him a couple of times but he did not pick up. Not that he didn’t want to, though. He just knew it would hurt too much.

Jamal had also reached out a couple more times but Marshall did not answer. He thought his friend got the hint, but he ended up showing up unannounced, late one night. 

Anyone dies ? Marshall asked after greeting him. 

Might as well be you, Jamal answered. We haven’t heard from you in ages, man. And no offense, but you look deceased, too. 

Well… You know. 

They stared at each other in agreement. 

Can I come in ? His friend finally asked. I brought you some stuff. 

You didn’t have to, man. 

It’s just a pack of red bull, food Talia made for you, some beats for you to listen to and a care package. 

A care package ? Marshall asked amused. What are you ? My great-aunt ? 

Actually, it’s from Y/N. 

Oh, he simply said. 

He gestured for Jamal to come in and they went to the living room. 

Thank Talia for me, he said as he rummaged through the bags his friends had brought. 

Will do. 

Should I wait for you to leave to open the mystery package ? He asked. 

Up to you, man, Jamal said. I mostly came to check up on you. We’re all worried about you. 

I appreciate it, man. Thanks. I’m good. I just need some time to adjust, you know ? He said. 

I bet, Jamal replied. It’s going to be weird, not having her hanging out at the studio anymore. We all got used to her being there. 

Well, we decided to remain friends, Marshall explained. So, she’s welcome anytime. I know everyone loves her and I don’t want it to be weird. 

Jamal looked at him with a confused expression. 

You really have unplugged, haven’t you ?

Sort of, yeah. Why ? 

His friend kept on staring at him for a few seconds. It was uncomfortable and it felt as if he was about to tell him that a zombie apocalypse had erupted. 

Man, I don’t know how to tell you this but…. She’s gone, Jamal said. 

What do you mean ? Marshall asked. 

Shit. I thought you knew, or at least that you had a vague idea… I know you didn’t pick up her calls, but she tried to text you. Several times, his friend explained. 

What does it fucking mean ? He asked as he was starting to lose his patience. What do you mean she’s gone ?! 

We drove her to the airport this afternoon, man. She’s moving back to France. She just handed her doctoral dissertation and she pulled something to convince them to let her do the defense thing remotely. 

Why would she do that ? Marshall scoffed. 

Dude, she’s a mess, Jamal said. She wouldn’t get out of her room for days. She barely ate, didn’t sleep. Talia had to help her showering and shit. We almost sent her to a psych ward. She stopped talking for weeks. 

Why didn’t you call me ?! He asked angrily. Why am I just finding out now ? 

She made me swear not to, man. She couldn’t face you. When she took the decision to move back, we convinced her to let you know, but I guess you didn’t see the texts… 

She’s… gone ? Marshall asked again, in disbelief. 

Yeah. You should check the package, Jamal said. When she didn’t get any response from you, she prepared it and told me to give it to you once she was gone. I have no idea what’s in there, though. 

Marshall wasted no time and tore up the carefully wrapped bow to unveil what was inside. There were a bunch of envelopes and two presents. 

I can leave you to it, if you want, Jamal offered. 

I don’t mind, Marshall shrugged as he kept on staring at the content of the box. Fuck. I had no idea she would fucking leave… 

He went back to his unboxing. He opened a first envelope, that contained a few pictures of them, that she had printed : a selfie of the whole crew, taken on the first day they met - she was shyly posing next to him as he flipped the camera -, two picture from their time in the hospital - a selfie of her as she pointed to him asleep in a chair next to her bed and a selfie of the two of them laying in bed next to each other - as well as the selfies they had taken as a couple. He looked at the pictures for a long time, failing to believe he wouldn’t see that face again and that she was in a whole different time zone. 

In the second envelope was a printing of the “acknowledgement” section of her dissertation. Everyone she knew from the studio was listed by name, including him, who had a whole paragraph that read “To MBMIII, thank you for welcoming me with open arms and believing in me. This work would not have been possible without your help and encouragement. Thank you for inspiring me to believe in my dreams and to lose myself in the moment and own it. In doing so, I found inspiration but also who I am. I am forever grateful for you, more than words will ever convey”. He read the paragraph at least ten times. He couldn’t believe she had actually quoted his lyrics to thank him. This made him smile and almost tear up. His heart was swelling with pride for her finally being done with her work, as well as sadness. 

The third envelope contained a handwritten letter : 

“Dear Marshall, 

By the time you read this, I will most likely be back in France. I wish I had the chance to say goodbye in person, but you wouldn’t pick up the phone. I am not sure why, but I guess I can’t blame you. Leaving Detroit, a place I have called home for the past few years has been a tough decision - probably the hardest one after leaving you. I knew I would have to go back home eventually, but I decided to leave early because I cannot see straight anymore. Every street, every corner, every stone reminds me of you. I cannot sleep in this bed knowing I won’t wake up next to you. I cannot keep breathing and existing in all the places you made me feel seen, loved and appreciated, knowing I can’t feel you near. Every little thing is a reminder of what once was and will not be again. And being reminded that I once had everything and lost it is too much pain. But in truth, I am not writing this letter to complain, but to say thank you. You walked into my life when I needed support, and you gave me exactly what I needed : love, encouragement and inspiration. Meeting you is one of the best things that has ever happened to me and I will forever be grateful. Your generosity and everything that you are takes my breath away. But as I am writing this letter, I am reminded that I am only human, in desperate need of oxygen. I need to leave because I have to save myself from drowning. I cannot allow myself to hope that you will reach for me, as I foreswore that right - if I ever had it. I broke both of our hearts but I am hopeful that they can be mended. You deserve nothing but love, joy and happiness and I pray that you find it wherever you go, whatever you do, whoever you meet. 

I love you and I always will. 

Yours forever, 

Y/N

PS : I hope you don’t mind the cheesy quotation of your lyrics. I have been catching up on your music because I needed to hear your voice. Also, it is hard to exist without your talent and your way with words. 

PPS : I have finally listened to your whole catalog. Every single, every album, every feature. I did not think it was possible, but it makes me love you even more.”

Marshall could feel his heart sink as he read her letter. He could feel her sadness and her pain, her bleeding love in each word. He wished that he could reach her and pull her close to him. At that moment, he knew that letting her go was his biggest mistake. Tears welled up in his eyes. 

Fuck, he said. 

You good ? Jamal asked after a few seconds, reminding him of his presence. 

I… I guess. 

He finally opened the two presents. These were fancy packages from Montblanc. He scoffed, as he definitely didn’t deserve such a big gesture. If anything, he should be the one to treat her to the finer things in life, not the other way around. In the first package was a beautiful leather embossed notebook with a note written in pencil on the first page : “May you be inspired to fill these pages with good rhymes and good bars. I cannot wait to listen to the whole album. You got this and I believe in you.”. 

The second package contained a fancy, beautiful pen. From the looks of it, it was a collectible. The first thing he did with it was to write her name underneath her note, in ink. He needed her name to be there, permanently. 

By the time he was done opening the presents, he was openly sobbing and it didn’t matter that Jamal or anyone else was here. For the first time in ages, the pain in his chest was so real that he thought he would have a heart attack. He found himself bent in two, crouching on the couch, sobbing and feeling every bit of the pain he had tried to suppress. He closed his eyes and tried to breathe deeply. He tried to focus on happy thoughts, but he couldn’t think of anything. The only image in his brain was her face. 

FUCK, he screamed into the nothingness. 

Every emotion he had ever felt, every moment of pain and grief seemed to hit him all at once. His mom, his bullies, Ronnie, Kim, Proof, his overdose, Y/N. 

Fuck, he whispered under his breath. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

It was all he would say. 

Marshall, he heard Jamal say in an echo. Do you need anything ? Anyone ? 

Y/N, he said as he kept sobbing. I need Y/N. I need her. I need to talk to her. My phone. Now. 

He heard Jamal hurry and rummage through the mess in his living room, trying to find his phone before handing it to him. He turned it on for the first time in days and he was immediately flooded by the incoming notifications that caused the phone to lag for a bit. He had about a hundred phone calls, a thousand unread emails and about fifty unread texts. Most of them were from his manager, his friends and his kids, but a few of them were from Y/N. She had really tried to reach out to him. 

From Y/N : I hope you’re doing well. I need to talk to you. Can you please call me back ? 

From Y/N : Please call back ? It’s important. 

From Y/N : I can’t reach you and I wish I didn’t have to tell you over a lousy text, but I’m leaving Detroit. I’m going back to France. My plane leaves on Tuesday night. 

From Y/N : I don’t know if you got my texts ? Or if you’re ignoring them ? I’d like to say goodbye. Can I come by ? 

From Y/N : You probably don’t want to see me. I’m sorry for disturbing you. In case you change your mind, my plane leaves at 6:35 PM. 

From Y/N : Boarding now. It’s my last text, I swear. Goodbye Marshall. I love you. 

There it was. Her last text. She had actually given him the opportunity to see her one last time. He could have held her. Maybe he could have convinced her to stay. But he blew it. He needed to call her and apologize. All he wanted was to crawl back to her. He needed her. To hear her voice. Anything. He tried calling but it went straight to voicemail. By looking at the time, he guessed she was on the plane and that her phone was on airplane mode. It was too late. 

He stared at the screen, feeling angry at himself. In a fit of rage, he threw the phone across the room and heard the screen break. Once he realized it meant he might not have her texts, he went to get it back. The screen was broken but still working. Once again, he felt mad. He punched the nearest wall. Then a painting. Then a mirror. In a matter of minutes, he found himself in a state, nearly trashing his living room. Jamal stopped him and held him for a long time before he stopped debating himself. Luckily, his friend was far taller and stronger than him, so he had no trouble containing him. 

Man, you need to calm down. Breathe. 

I can’t, Marshall replied panting. What the fuck’s happening to me ?! 

The tears started to flow again, as he realized he might be losing his mind. Jamal engulfed him in a hug - something different than their usual bro-hugs. This time, he felt like a small child crying in the arms of their parents. On any other day, he’d cringe, but he was deperate. 

I got you, bro, Jamal said. 

She’s gone. 

I know. 

It took a couple of minutes for him to be able to breathe normally and think straight again. 

Man, I know you’re my boss, but I’m talking as your friend here. Because I care. You need help. You’re not staying in this house by yourself, Jamal said. 

As much as he wanted to protest, Marshall found himself nodding. In the studio, Jamal acted as a soldier and did as he was told, but in real life, he had a presence to him and an authority that made people think twice before discussing his orders. 

It’s no Mathers Mansion, but you’re welcome to stay at my place, Jamal said. 

You don’t mind ? 

I don’t. You can take the couch or the guest bedroom. 

Ok. 

He went upstairs and started packing his stuff for a few days. As they stepped outside, he felt a sudden wave of relief. He had to get out of there. He needed to get away and recover, otherwise he would go crazy.

[kortsitron]

Domestic life with Niran

✮ PARING Niran Pruksamanee × Gender Neutral! Reader

✮ WARNINGS/TAGS  fluff, established relationship, overwatch agent! reader, anxiety (just a bit), suggestive moments but no smut, domestic headcanons

✮ SUMMARY You and Niran leave Overwatch to live together

✮ A/N This was in my mind because yes, no explanation needed, lifeweaver lives understand me and that's all I need. Whoever decides to read it, enjoy! 🩷

ao3 masterlist requests

❁ Working for Overwatch was not a peaceful job by any means, neither for you or your partner. It was really stressing for both parties, especially when you were the one who was going to the mission more often than Niran, which resulted in him being worried that you might not come back

❁ And this repeating made Niran realize that maybe something should change. And after a lot of thinking he came to you to talk about it. The it being leaving Overwatch behind and starting a peaceful life together. And you, being stressed because of the constant dangers missions - you happily agreed. Living together with the love of your life, having some peace seemed like a dream

❁ You two have decided to come out with your announcement and after that, with help of your friends from Overwatch, you were ready to leave and start a new life

❁ It took a while to get a house where you wanted, Niran wasn't that much into having an apartment because he dreamed about having a garden with as many plants and flowers as possible, maybe even a pond. And he definitely wanted to grow vegetables for you and him to eat

❁ At last, you finally you moved in. You both were excited to finally have a place for just the two of you, doing what you wanted whenever you wanted. Could it be more perfect?

❁ Niran was excited about having a garden and the moment he could, he bought as many seed and all the beautiful flower he lays his eyes on. He looked so excited about it all, it was adorable to see him all giddy

❁ Soon the whole house was covered in plants wherever your eyes landed. But it wasn't bad, it made the place feel more cozy, more homey. It was nice how much he was trying to make this place feel like home. And obviously, he was more than happy to see what kind of decorations and things you wanted to add to make the place feel like home for you

❁ Being able to finally sleep in one bed felt like a dream, being able to hold each other close, have some conversations before bed or maybe something more. It was a while since you had a moment of privacy like that, where you could get close with each other like that

❁ Next morning was event better, seeing your lovely partner sleeping peacefully in the same bed as you, his hair messy, but he looked ethereal when the sun rays hit his face. You couldn't help yourself from gently caressing his face until his eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the light from the window. He smiled softly, being able to see you in bed with him and not waking up alone in the small bed like in Overwatch. It was nice.

❁ And it was even nicer to cuddle in the morning on the free days, when you two don't have to work and could literally spend the whole day in bed if you wished to, doing nothing more than cuddling

❁ Not unless you own pets that demand to be fed. Niran couldn't imagine a home without any kind of pet, especially a cuddly one and neither could you. But Niran was open to more pet propositions, even if the pet might not be as cuddly. As long as you have money to be able to keep the dear animal, he was in!

❁ You couldn't always have a fun grocery experience with Niran because both of you worked. Niran sometimes spent more time at work. (I can definitely imagine him working in place that is chemistry related, after he's very intelligent)

❁ But groceries with him were fun. The atmosphere was always nice and he was not afraid to goof around with you a bit. Not even in public, he's shameless after all

❁ This man loved farmers market. Obviously he doesn't have all the vegetables and fruits in his garden, or at least they weren't grown enough to be harvested, so the farmers market was his favorite option. Plants, vegetables, fruits, seeds and more of the best possible quality. How could he not love this place?

❁ Obviously he is not that opposed to buying things from grocery store, but Niran knows that everything from the farmers market will have better quality than things at the store. And the stuff will be obviously healthier than the store bought one, who knows what they put into these things! (Niran being dramatic but he's right)

❁ Niran was definitely not a perfectionist, but hey, he learnt his lesson back in Vishkar with Satya and now he's not really a messy guy. Unless it's when he’s working in the garden, but that doesn't count, he often said that working in the garden can get a little messy, but he can clean himself up after the work is done.

❁ Does he like cooking? Absolutely! Niran is in for 50/50 cooking (sometimes you cook, sometimes he cooks), but he definitely is more into it than you. He enjoyed cooking with you, but there are recipes that he prefers to do alone because he can focus better. It's not about not trusting you, sometimes he prefers to do it on his own so he doesn't get distracted and mess something up by accident. After all you're his partner, you can be pretty distracting

❁ Niran is very happy to introduce you to Thai cuisine, if you never ate anything from it before. He's happy to have you interested in it and he doesn't mind doing anything you would like to try. Even when he has never done the meal before, he doesn't mind trying. He also will be happy to try something from your home country!

❁ Soon, the routine comes, but it's not exactly a bad routine. It's nice to know neither of you has to worry about their life too much. It's a peaceful routine, but still a routine. So once in a while you two try to spice things up a bit if possible. Spontaneous change of plans, dates sometimes in a fancy restaurant, sometimes it's just eating lunch together in the park, enjoying the sun and each other's company. Going to the cinema to watch a movie, going to the park for a walk or doing something as simple as buying an ice cream as if you two were a teenagers

[endofradio]

FRAGMENTS OF FEAR — CHAPTER 3: NO COMPASSION

PROLOGUE | CHAPTER 1 | CHAPTER 2

WARNINGS: n/a

NOTES: at this point me writing this fic is just my attempt at keeping the abigail/dan stevens tumblr fandom alive. hopefully cuckoo brings back the dan stevens stans. also keep ur eyes peeled for the 4th and 5th chapters… they’re gonna be a bit… 🫣 especially the 5th one.

SUMMARY: sylvie and sammy spend some time at the bar lounge conversing and getting to know each other, and things only get more awkward and tense between her and frank. joey then reveals some concerning information told to her by abigail. frank decides to take matters into his own hands, and… well, that doesn’t end up going the way he had planned.

WORD COUNT: 2,441

TAGS: @creelmalfoylaufeyson69 @atcarpenter @blackwolfstabs @tommyshelbysangel @reclaimedbythesea @witchy-weve-monbebe @maggotssmichael @xashleyo03x @evildarliing @maggotmommys

if you’d like to be added to my taglist, shoot me a message on here or send an ask to my inbox. :)

“What happened?”

Sylvie sat on a barstool next to Sammy, trying to keep her distance from Frank, who was nursing another glass of whiskey. “Don’t worry about it.” She muttered. “Just… had to talk about something.”

Dean was now sitting in an armchair, drinking from a whole bottle of liquor, a joint in his other hand. “It’s too fuckin’ quiet in here.” He complained. “Play some music on the radio or somethin’…”

Peter walked over to the radio that was sitting on the bar counter and turned it on, adjusting some of the dials. Soon, “Young Americans,” a Bowie tune Sylvie particularly enjoyed, started playing. That perked her up a bit.

“You sure?” Sammy asked, tapping her polished nails against her glass of whiskey.

Sylvie nodded. “Yeah. Like I said, don’t worry about it.”

Sammy shrugged. “Fair enough. Anyways, what’s your name again? Ava, right? I mean, that’s probably not your real name, but we can’t use our real names here, anyway.”

Sylvie hesitated a little before answering. “Uh… yeah. Call me Ava.”

“You must feel really confused about why you’re here.” Sammy then remarked with a small chuckle. “I mean, you ended up joining in on this whole… thing… a bit later.”

Sylvie slowly nodded. “Yeah… I’d say ‘confused’ is probably an understatement. What exactly is this all about, anyway? Why are we all here at this specific place?”

Sammy sighed, taking a sip of whiskey. “To put it simply… we have to babysit a kid.”

Frank, who had clearly been overhearing their conversation, let out a scoff. “Babysitting? That’s a light way to put it. A euphemism for ‘kidnapping.’”

Sylvie turned to shoot a glare at Frank, before looking back at Sammy. “Kidnapping?” She repeated, her eyes narrowing. “Are you telling me we’re holding a child hostage?”

Sammy shrugged. “Pretty much.” She answered. “Look, it’ll be good money. Think we’ll all end up getting, like, millions of dollars as our little reward. What’s wrong with free money?”

Sylvie raised an eyebrow. “Can’t I just leave? I don’t want to be part of this… this is fucking wrong.”

“Joey wasn’t happy either, but there’s no turning back now. Don’t need Lambert kicking our asses, either.” Sammy took another sip of whiskey, her voice as nonchalant as ever.

“Who’s Lambert?” Sylvie carefully asked. She was only growing more confused by the second.

“Our boss, I guess,” Sammy answered. “He was the one who wanted us for this whole mission. Since you were brought here, that must’ve meant you were wanted, too.” She raised an eyebrow. “Though, you don’t exactly strike me as the criminal type. Hm, why would Lambert want you here…?”

Frank let out an annoyed sigh and picked up his glass of whiskey, moving to sit next to Sylvie. His gaze darted between the two women, finally landing on Sammy with a bit of a smart-ass look on his face. “Ooh, trust me. She’s not as innocent as she looks…”

“Why’d you say that?” Sammy curiously asked, raising an eyebrow.

Frank shrugged, his smirk remaining. “I can pick people apart rather easily.” He casually answered. “Joey’s a junkie, little miss Ava over here’s far from being perfect, too. Ya think Joey’s got a talent for reading people? Well, so do I.”

Sylvie could feel her chest start to tighten again. Frank always had a talent for making a situation quite uncomfortable very quickly.

“Comes with being a cop. I’m not fuckin’ stupid.” Frank continued, taking another sip of whiskey.

Sammy rolled her eyes, unfazed by Frank’s tough-guy demeanor. “Whatever you say.” She muttered, before looking over in Peter’s direction. While Sammy and Peter were having their conversation, Frank turned his attention back to Sylvie.

“You better not be a pain in my ass while we’re both here.” He muttered, finishing the rest of his glass of whiskey. He lazily tapped his fingers against the glass, eyeballing it carefully.

Sylvie raised an eyebrow. “That’s a lot of talk coming from the very person who enjoys trying to piss me off.”

Frank quietly chuckled at Sylvie’s words. “Yeah, yeah, I know…” he murmured before his voice took on a more serious tone. “I’m just taking my job here very seriously. I don’t need anyone getting in my way, including you.”

Sylvie was about to speak when Joey soon appeared, taking a seat at the bar lounge next to Frank.

“How’s the kid?” Frank asked, not even bothering to look at Joey. He kept his gaze fixated on the empty glass in front of him.

“She’s fine,” Joey answered, but something in her voice conveyed a sense of concern. “Look, I don’t need to know who the girl’s father is, but do you know?”

Sylvie narrowed her eyes at Joey’s question. What was so important about the kid’s father?

“No, why?” Frank answered, still not meeting Joey’s gaze.

“She just implied that her father might be a particularly violent man.”

Frank took off his glasses, letting out a sigh as he rubbed the bridge of his nose before putting them back on. An annoyed smile formed on his face. “Wow. She implied that, did she? Of course, she fuckin’ implied that. She’s scared. She wants to rattle you.”

Despite Frank’s reaction, Sylvie was starting to feel worried herself. “No, listen to her.” She said, glancing at Joey. Maybe it was the fact she knew what it was like to have… not-so-great people as parents, but something in Sylvie was making her… wonder.

“Why should I listen to her?” Frank scoffed, rolling his eyes. “She’s a kid. Kids lie.”

“What exactly did she say?” Sylvie asked, looking at Joey carefully.

“She… apologized. She implied that something… not good is going to happen.” Joey explained. “Based on everything she said, her father sounds like he could be a possible threat.”

Then, she looked back at Frank. “That’s why I’m asking you — do you know who her father is? If you used to be a detective, then surely you might have an idea of who he could be.”

Frank sighed again and turned to look at Joey, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Oh my God, you’re gonna be a real pain in my ass, aren’t you? There’s one in every crew.”

“No, sir. I just don’t scare easy, so when I do, I pay attention.”

Joey then rose from her seat, turning around to leave. Once she vanished, Sylvie glanced at Frank. “Why’s the kid’s father so important?” She asked. “Must be quite serious if she wants to know.”

“Well, he’s wealthy as shit. That’s why the kid’s with us right now.”

“So, she’s being held for ransom...” Sylvie quietly observed, mostly to herself. “Still, especially if her father’s dangerous after all, can’t we just… return her to her family? I mean, I feel really bad for her. She’s only a kid.”

Frank scoffed. “$50 million is a lot of fuckin’ money, y’know. You’re here, so you might as well just be as bad as the rest of us.”

Frank paused for a moment, appearing deep in thought. “Y’know what, I think I’ll go talk to the damn kid myself.”

Sylvie felt a tinge of nervousness at Frank’s idea. With the way he was, she didn’t trust him to be around a child at all, especially if he was confronting said child. “Talking” for Frank most likely meant “threatening.”

“You’re not gonna hurt her… right?” Sylvie asked, her tone serious.

Frank shrugged. “I will if I have to. The fuck are you gonna do about it, anyway?”

“Stop you, obviously.”

Frank let out a snide chuckle. “I’d love to see you try. You wouldn’t even kill a fly if you had to.”

He got up from his seat and stormed off in the direction of the girl’s room. Sylvie stayed back for a little bit, but then she decided to go after him, determined to make sure he didn’t lay a finger on her. Even though she didn’t know the girl at all, Sylvie still felt an almost instinctual need to make sure nothing happened to her. She was a child, after all.

As Sylvie followed Frank’s path, she could hear the sound of a door opening, followed by his voice and… screaming. A child screaming.

“You see my face? You see my fuckin’ face? Huh? Are you lyin’ to me?”

“Goddamnit.” Sylvie hissed under her breath. She started to run towards the room, and sure enough, Frank was holding the girl at gunpoint. She looked terrified, and it made Sylvie feel a pang of anger.

“You fuckin’ lyin’ to me? Don’t lie to me. What color are my eyes? What color are my eyes?! It’s a simple fuckin’ question, kid!”

“I didn’t see your face!”

“Well… good! Who the fuck is your father?”

“Put the fucking gun down, right now.”

The girl and Frank both turned around to look at Sylvie and the kid only looked even more terrified.

“He’s gonna hurt me!” She whimpered, clutching onto a blanket for support. “Don’t let him hurt me.”

“What the fuck are you doing?” Frank snapped, shooting Sylvie a sharp glare. “Back the fuck off. This is a private matter.”

Sylvie took a deep, shaky breath. “Just… put the gun down. There’s no need to point it at her.”

Instead, Frank ignored her, looking back at the girl. “I’ll ask it again. Who the fuck is your father?”

The girl’s eyes anxiously darted between Sylvie and Frank but lingered on Sylvie’s face for a couple of seconds longer, almost as though she recognized her. Then, she looked back at Frank.

“Jo… Joey said you didn’t want to know.”

“Well, fuck Joey! I do wanna know!”

Frank turned to face Sylvie again, his eyes narrowing. “What the fuck are you doing? She’s not supposed to see your fuckin’ face!”

Shit.

“Fuck— I’ll… I’ll go.”

As Sylvie started to hurry away from the bedroom, she froze when she faintly heard the girl mention a particular name — Kristof Lazar. Sylvie had heard that name before, but from where?

Wait a second.

As Sylvie returned to the bar lounge, she suddenly remembered memories from around five years ago. Charlie — the man from her college that she knew. He had mentioned a “Lazar” on numerous occasions and from the information Sylvie had heard, he was a dangerous man. It couldn’t possibly be the same guy… right?

Sylvie took a deep breath and tried to brush it all aside, taking a seat at the bar lounge. Sammy, who had still been chatting with Peter, took notice of her nervous state. She was about to say something until Dean spoke.

“Yo, what’s goin’ on, bagman?”

Frank was heading towards the front door, putting on his leather trench coat. “I’m leaving.”

Joey narrowed her eyes. “What?”

“You heard me. You cut up my share however you want. I’m out.”

Sylvie felt a significant amount of concern. Frank had never been the kind of person to get scared, so whatever it was, something was seriously wrong. He was usually all tough and uncaring, so seeing him suddenly nervous was quite out of character.

Joey rose from her seat, following after Frank. “Whoa, hey. What happened?”

Frank ignored her, continuing to advance towards the door.

“Hey! You can’t just leave without telling us what’s going on.”

Frank turned around, staring at Joey with an uncharacteristic look of what seemed like fear. “What’s going on?” He repeated. “What’s going on is that we are fucked. That little girl is Kristof Lazar’s daughter.”

Rickles let out a “shit,” with Joey looking equally as worried. Meanwhile, Sammy and Peter were confused. Dean, on the other hand, was nonchalant.

“That’s an urban legend, man.” He said, rolling his eyes. “Calm down. Like, that whole thing is completely bogus.”

Frank walked over to Dean, his eyes narrowing. “He’s not a fuckin’ urban legend. He is very fuckin’ real, believe me. Nobody even knows how big his fuckin’ empire is.”

Sylvie took a deep breath. “Yeah… he’s right. I… I think Lazar is real.”

“How do you know?” Sammy carefully asked, her gaze wary.

“I… I know.” Sylvie simply answered. She was going to have to side with Frank on this one, as much as she didn’t want to.

“Is he, like, a crime boss?” Sammy then asked.

“He controls a lot more than just crime,” Rickles answered. “I’ve… heard of some shit.”

Joey sighed. “Is Lambert fucking insane? He just put a death mark on all of us, including himself.”

“What if we just, like, y’know, like, give her back and say sorry?” Sammy suggested.

Frank let out a scoff and walked over to Sammy. “Oh, yeah. ‘Here’s your daughter, Mr. fuckin’ Antichrist. We’re really sorry. Hope she’s not too traumatized. Let’s play a round of golf sometime!’”

Sammy narrowed her eyes at Frank in disgust and annoyance. “Fuck you, Frank.” She murmured.

“Let’s just leave.” Joey then said. “We leave her with some food and make an anonymous phone call, get the fuck out of here.”

Peter nodded in approval, snapping his fingers. “I like that.”

“It’s not like she’s seen our faces.” Joey then added.

Frank let out a bitter scoff as he approached Joey. “Uh, actually, she has, thanks to you.”

Joey narrowed her eyes at Frank. “I was supposed to be the only one in and out of that room, and I wore my mask.”

“Well, I didn’t, so I walk in there to see Angelina Ballerina memorizing my fuckin’ face! Why did you take off her blindfold, Joey?”

“Now we have to kill her.” Peter then said.

“Not a fucking chance.” Joey hissed. “We’re not killing the girl.”

“She saw Frank’s face…”

Sylvie let out a sigh before reluctantly speaking. “Mine, too. She… saw my face, too.”

The room went silent.

“Oh, this is really bad,” Sammy murmured. “What are we supposed to do now?”

Frank shrugged. “We pull this off, pretend we don’t know who her father is, and with the money we’re making from this, we disappear forever. Start a new life. Then, I don’t have to see any of you fucks ever again.”

He paused for a moment before speaking again, trying to come up with a plan. “Everyone, stay alert. Any threat is gonna come from outside, so we set a perimeter and we hold it. Rickles takes first watch in the crow’s nest. Joey, secure the interior. Look for any ways in or out. What is it, like, twenty-two more hours, hmm?”

Frank checked his watch. “Twenty-two hours.”

He went to pick up his bag and left, cursing under his breath.

“What a dick,” Dean muttered as he watched Frank leave.

[biaswreckme]

willow | seongjoong

"Life was a willow and it bent right to your wind" or Pirate Captain Kim Hongjoong meets witch Park Seonghwa.

Fandom: Ateez

Pairing: Hongjoong/Seonghwa

Member: Hongjoong, Seonghwa

Word count: 722 words

Genre/Tropes: Alternate Universe (Fantasy), Romance, Fluff

Rating: nc-17

Triggers/Warnings: implied sexual content (very light, tagging and rating it nc-17 just to be safe), mention of people bullying Seonghwa

You can read it on: AO3

Seonghwa could still vividly remember to this day the first time that the pirate Captain had stopped by the small village. He had been in the nearby woods, gathering some herbs, when the strange ship descended from the sky and caused a ripple in the water below the decks. He had only observed from afar as a peculiar and colorful crew descended onto land, his eyes almost straining to follow who he would later learn was Captain’s confident movements. He didn’t investigate why or for how long they would be staying in the village, but he was glad that for once the attention would not be on him for a while. He could finally just be for a few days, not having to worry if that would be the day they decided to burn him at a stake. 

He had certainly not been expecting a knock on his door a couple of days later, for the people usually avoided him at all costs, sometimes preferring to perish instead of seeking his aid. Seonghwa opened his front door just enough for him to see who was on the other side yet at the same time having enough leverage in case he needed to protect himself.

“So I hear you’re a witch, is that true?” the man who had knocked asked without any hesitation.

Seonghwa just blinked in response, fingers clenching on the wood, and the man smiled at him, blonde hair ruffling with the late afternoon breeze. 

“Good, nice to meet you, I’m Captain Kim Hongjoong.”

It turns out that the Captain was in need of some medicinal herbs to keep on the ship for emergencies, but, to Seonghwa’s ignorance, all the other reasons he gave for the visits were made up. Hongjoong prided himself in being a good and focused leader, but there was something about this tall handsome man with dark long hair and sad eyes that almost seemed to scream loneliness that captivated his attention. And so it took no time at all until Seonhwa learned all about the crew of the Illusion, the strange ship that sailed the seas and the skies, the Captain’s presence in his home a curious constant in the week they spent on land. 

Seven days and they were gone, and Seonghwa was back to being alone, heart aching so painfully at knowing company and having lost it.

Until the ship rolled in again, that is.

The Illusion never stayed long in the village, and it was always uncertain when they would dock, but Seonghwa learned to be hopeful instead of just hollow, anticipating the Captain’s companionship - and occasionally one or two of the crew who accompanied him. The crew always stayed at the small inn by the docks, and their repeated visits to the village - and their spending - had people stop bothering Seonghwa. He could get used to not having rocks thrown at him whenever he strayed too far from his small cottage or dirty looks and whispers thrown in his direction (he knew people still talked and despised him, but at least they were hiding it better). 

With constancy came intimacy and feelings foreign to both of them. Their lips were tentative the first time they touched, Hongjoong holding dearly onto Seonghwa’s shivering frame as their mouths pressed against each other, shaky breaths mingling with smiles and tears of happiness. And soon Hongjoong would start sneaking out of the inn and into the cottage, huddling into Seonghwa’s warmth under the covers. The Captain found it fascinating how the other man would shiver whenever bare skin met bare skin. Fingers traced old and new scars, learning each other’s bodies like their own, and stories were shared under the blessing of the moonlight. And more than once Hongjoong was caught by one of his crew going back late in the morning, the minutes and hours passing by without care whenever they were together. 

But this time, it was different. There was a sense of urgency to everything, for the crew of the Illusion would set sail to a place too far to be sure they would be able to come back any time that could be considered soon. The situation was explained, and each breath and touch shared had the taste of farewell. To Seonghwa, every second was filled with desperation, and he could feel the distant and now unfamiliar loneliness wanting to seep into his veins, until he decided to wreck his own plans - or lack thereof. He had never imagined leaving his cottage, but home was now Hongjoong. 

There would be no looking back.

“Take my hand, Seonghwa.”

“Wherever you stray, I’ll follow.”

[holdmytesseract]

All The Right Moves

Robert Laing x fem!Reader

Summary: When Robert comes home from work, he catches you dancing in the kitchen - and decides to join you...

Warnings: this is a songfic? fluff, dancing, suggestive smut - it gets quite a bit hot and steamy

Word Count: 1,9k

a/n: Some of you were quite a curious about the 'Secret Project'. I told you about. Well, here it is - and it's a birthday gift for @muddyorbsblr ! 🥳 We talked about those gifs and she told me about the story she imagined - and I immediately started to write it; knowing that her birthday was coming up. 🥰 Bestie, I really hope you like this! Happy Birthday! ❤

Tagging: @lulubelle814 @km-ffluv @eleniblue @loz-3 @vbecker10 @jennyggggrrr @mochie85 @chantsdemarins @peaches1958 @multifandom-worlds @fictive-sl0th @lovingchoices14 @simping-for-marvel @stupidthoughtsinwriting @vanilla-daydreaming @lou12346789 @lady-rose-moon @evelyn-kingsley @the-princess-of-loki @acefeather2002

Peeps I think might be interested in this one... @smolvenger @anukulee @lokiforever

°☆• Masterlist •☆°

This is basically based on this song...

... and this scene...

The High Rise was still bustling with the people who lived inside the big building, despite the fact that it was quite late in the evening. Robert had to work a few hours longer today, resulting in the sun already setting, as he stepped through the big doors of London's biggest, most modern skyscraper.

It was early June - the beginning of the summertime, and it showed. The days had gotten longer and the nights shorter; temperatures steadily rising. Several children were still awake; running around, laughing and having fun - just like the adults. Countless men with bottles of beer and women with swim attire crossed his paths; probably planning on throwing yet another party. Like they always did. Robert though, was tired. A long day stuffed to the brim with work was behind him and all he wanted to do, was to spend some quality time with his wife, perhaps eat something and then fall into bed to catch some much-needed sleep.

Taking one of the elevators, he leaned against the metal wall and waited almost impatiently for it to make that familiar 'ding' sound; announcing that it arrived on the 25th floor. Luckily, he didn't have to wait long.

Robert walked straight to yours and his apartment then, literally storming through the door; shutting the loud and annoying world out.

As soon as the door was closed shut behind him, a relieved sigh left his lips. He had been quite a bit lost in his own thoughts, when the sound of music - coming undoubtedly from the kitchen, pulled him back down to earth in the here and now.

And some aces up your sleeve

I had no idea that you're in deep

I dreamt about you near me every night this week

It caused an immediate smile to appear on his lips. Robert knew that song. By heart. It was one of your favourites - and became over the years one of his favourites, too.

How many secrets can you keep'

′Cause there′s this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow

When I play it on repeat

Until I fall asleep

Spilling drinks on my settee

The doctor took off his dress shoes, placed them neatly beside your shoes and put down his working bag. Then he made his way quietly, but quickly to yours and his shared bedroom, slipping out of the greyish black suit jacket he wore; the tie following immediately. Undoing a few of his shirt buttons, Robert felt finally comfortable and 'free'.

The music wasn't extremely loud, but he could still hear every word.

(Do I wanna know?)

If this feeling flows both ways

(Sad to see you go)

Was sorta hoping that you'd stay

(Baby we both know)

That the nights were mainly made for saying

Things that you can′t say tomorrow day

Being only in his matching suit trousers and white shirt now, he sneaked up to the kitchen. Carefully, he lurked around the corner. There you were, in the middle of cooking something which smelt like spaghetti Carbonara - but undoubtedly heavenly; blasting one of your all-time favourites. You were definitely feeling the music with all your heart and soul. Robert could tell, because you had abandoned the pots and pans, in order to dance.

Crawlin' back to you.

Ever thought of calling when you′ve had a few?

'Cause I always do

Maybe I′m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new

Now I've thought it through

As soon as the refrain hit, your dance moves increased. Robert leaned against the door frame, watching you with a smile; hands buried in his trouser pockets. How you moved so gracefully. How your light blue knee-length summer dress flowed with every move you made. And he watched, how happy you seemed to be. It made him happy in return as well - and his heart to beat faster with the love he felt for you.

You had your back towards your husband and therefore hadn't a single clue that he was even there. But when the last line of the refrain sounded through the kitchen, you turned around...

Crawlin' back to you.

The sight of Robert standing casually in the door frame with a soft, but amused smile on his lips caught you off-guard, of course. You visibly flinched; hand flying up to your heaving chest. You could practically feel your heart thumbing against your palm.

Then your cheeks reddened; feeling a bit like a deer caught in the headlights. But once the realisation set in, that it was your husband standing in front of you, a small giggle slipped past your lips. "Robert!"

So have you got the guts?

Been wondering if your heart's still open and

If so I wanna know what time it shuts

Simmer down and pucker up

I′m sorry to interrupt it′s just I'm constantly

On the cusp of trying to kiss you

I don′t know if you feel the same as I do

But we could be together, if you wanted to

With 'Do I Wanna Know?' still blaring in the background, you closed the distance between yourself and your husband. Without saying much, you placed a small kiss on his soft lips, in order to greet him. Automatically, your hands landed on his well-trained chest; displayed through the way too tight white shirt he wore.

While Robert's hands found their way to your waist, you rubbed his pecs with your palms in an affectionate manner. "How was work?" The doctor just shook his head. "I don't want to talk about work, darling." You raised an eyebrow and crooked your head in slightly amused confusion. "You usually always talk about work, honey."

Robert licked his lips; baby blues gazing deeply in your Y/E/C ones. "Later. I don't want to talk now. What I want is to dance."

(Do I wanna know?)

If this feeling flows both ways

(Sad to see you go)

Was sorta hoping that you'd stay

(Baby we both know)

That the nights were mainly made for saying

Things that you can′t say tomorrow day

Before your brain was entirely able to process what Robert just said, he suddenly pulled you with a quick movement closer against him. So close, that your chest collided with his. You let out a small yelp; having not expected this 'bold' move.

Crawlin' back to you.

Robert's timing was perfect, to say the least. With the peak of the refrain, he started to dance; causing your body to sway with his, of course.

Ever thought of calling when you've had a few?

(Calling when you′ve had a few)

'Cause I always do ('cause I always do)

Maybe I′m too busy being yours to fall for somebody new

Now I′ve thought it through

Robert had always been a great dancer. You knew, but he showed it to you once again...

With one hand placed firmly on the small of your back, he moved his hips in sync with yours. His head lowered; forehead pressed against yours. Your hands had wandered as well; moved from his chest to cross behind his neck. Therefore, that you were so close to one another, the dance became quite intimate very fast - and utterly intense. You could feel the warmth radiating off his body; his big, warm hand splayed over the clothed skin on your back - on the verge of touching your ass. You could smell his expensive, rich cologne; him and letting yourself drown in it.

You and Robert literally danced on a thin line between romance and eroticism. Tendencies to the latter. And when he switched positions, you knew exactly how this dance was going to end.

Crawling back to you, (do I wanna know?)

If this feeling flows both ways

(Sad to see you go)

Was sorta hoping that you'd stay

(Baby we both know)

That the nights were mainly made for saying

Things that you can′t say tomorrow day

Robert let go of you and took a few steps back. As soon as his touch left your body, you already missed it; longing to feel him again. But you were not the one in control... He was.

Taking your hand in his bigger one, he lifted both your arms and signalling you to twirl yourself around - which you did with a small giggle; dress flowing in the air once more. Although that 'foolish', girly, little giggle soon faded into a sinful, quiet, little moan, as your husband caught you mid spin with his free arm around your middle, and pressed your ass against his crotch. That was the moment you started to lose it.

Robert splayed one big hand over your lower abdomen; keeping you snugly pinned against him. If that wasn't already torturous enough, he started to move and grind in hips to the beat of the music - and what you felt through the thin layers of clothing caused a gasp to fall from your lips.

Unbeknownst to you, Robert had a naughty smile on his face; knowing exactly what he was doing to you.

(Do I wanna know?)

Too busy being yours to fall

(Sad to see you go)

Ever thought of calling darling?

(Do I wanna know)

Do you want me crawling back to you?

You were in such a haze; totally lost in the way Robert danced with you, that you didn't notice where he was leading you. Therefore, you found yourself trapped between your husband and the kitchen counter by the end of the song.

With the last line, Robert spun you once more around - this time in his arm, and pressed you against the wooden surface. A small, shocked yelp escaped your lips, before your eyes widened in realisation. The position Robert put you in only now dawning on you. Despite that you were quite flustered, you had nevertheless gained a little bit confidence.

Lifting your hand, you let your fingers toy with the opened buttons of his shirt. "Dr. Laing... How naughty..." You tutted playfully; shaking your head. Unfortunately, you weren't able to stay serious and broke out into another fit of giggles.

Robert loved that about you. Your sweet tries to act all dominant and seductive, but you were way too shy and flustered.

The doctor caught your wandering hand easily mid-air and pinned it against his own chest; his large palm swallowing yours whole. "Nu.Uh, Mrs. Laing. If I recall that correctly, you are the naughty one..." Robert stated; letting his gaze drop. His baby blues were no longer staring into your Y/E/C ones. "You started this, didn't you? Dancing to such a quite erotic song... You literally begged for this to happen, am I right?" He underlined his words by pushing you closer against the counter; hips colliding with yours. You gasped - audibly; eyelids fluttering shut. "R-Robert, I-I-I-"

He didn't need to see or hear more to know, that he was right. Your reaction was clear evidence.

"You got yourself in this situation..." Your husband whispered deeply; hoisting you up on the kitchen counter. "And now you have to deal with the consequences. Although, I'm sure you are going to enjoy it," Robert announced with a wolfish grin, before you heard the familiar sound of a zipper being unzipped. You swallowed hard. You were in trouble - because of a damn song!

[kyojurismo]

EMERGENCY REQUEST

Hi, I am having some issues with my friends and I feel like I keep bothering them if I stay. I was wondering if you could write the reader distancing themselves from mitsuri and giyuu because they feel inadequate in the relationship and how they would comfort them when they found out.

you don't have to do this if you don't want to

# mitsuri kanroji & giyu tomioka

tags : gn!reader, comfort, i don’t state explicitly if r is dating them so it’s up to you, insecure mitsuri & insecure giyu, lemme know if i forgot to tag something pls + not proofread.

a/n : sorry for the delay !! i hope it helps <3

MITSURI

she deserves being around someone better than.

that’s what you repeated to yourself more and more often. you found yourself feeling unfitting, not enough, inadequate. you had to distance yourself from her. so mitsuri would be able to see that she really was better off without having you around her.

what really happened is that she started overthinking everything. did she said something too pushy? did she make you feel uncomfortable? was she… rude?!

she started crying at the thought of treating you in such manner, feeling so bad. she even thought that you straight up hated her that much to the point of ignoring her and trying to avoid her in any kind of social situation.

but when she spoke with shinobu, who offered her point of view, she learned that she in fact didn’t do something to make you “run” away from her. you distanced yourself because of something else.

she needed to discover the truth.

now mitsuri didn’t need to wait for you to casually show up to some place to talk. she came right to your house, knocked on the door and wasn’t willing to give up anytime soon. she would burst the door open if needed.

she needed to see you. she needed to know.

“oh, kanroji-san,” what? she frowned but entered inside none the less. you let her, there was no point in stopping her after all. you went sitting down with her and tried to avoid her eyes as she studied your every movement.

“y/n-chan, i must confront you on this! it’s literally breaking my heart,” she whined and moved closer to you, gently taking your hands. you missed her gentle touch, you couldn’t lie about it. “w-what is it?” you knew damn well what she was talking about. of course she hated you.

“you distanced yourself, y/n-chan! i spent the whole week trying to find a reason for it, i thought that you did it because i was rude! i wasn’t rude, right?” she checked then, worried that she was mislead by shinobu. “you were never rude to me, kanroji-san,” you assured her, looking at her at last.

“then what happened?” she pleaded with her teary eyes, it was clear the situation was making her sad and she felt stressed about not knowing what was going on with you.

you took your time to explain yourself, it was hard opening up about your feelings but it was even harder seeing mitsuri so sad.

“but darling!” she hugged you suddenly, burying you in her chest. “how could you think such things?! you’re one of my favourite people, i love spending time with you and my heart beats so fast when we’re together…” she caressed your back as she comforted you.

“if you have a problem, something that’s bothering you, or maybe some kind of issue with me, i assure we can solve it together, y/n-chan. i’m here for you, i don’t wanna lose you,” she explained in a soft tone, trying to reassure you and reason with you. “are you sure you don’t feel like.. i’m bothering you or something?” you searched into her eyes the truth, even if you knew that mitsuri wasn’t capable of lying.

“this is total madness! i just told you, i won’t get tired of you,” she smiled widely, nodding. “and if you ever need time by yourself then i accept it… next time just tell me, please,” she frowned again before hugging you once more.

you did miss her a lot the past week. and seeing that mitsuri was ready to help and meet your needs filled your heart. she truly was one of the best people in your life.

GIYU

now giyu usually had difficulty showing his emotions, it’s not something he does easily. and that probably affected your choice of distancing yourself from him.

that’s also why, tomioka couldn’t be too surprised. he felt bad, inadequate himself, because he knew that being around him was hard most of the time, so his inner self was probably counting down to the moment you would get tired and walk away from him.

on the other hand, you distanced yourself because you thought that you couldn’t be helpful in your relationship with giyu, that he deserved someone better than you, someone who could help him better.

if you think about it, that’s quite funny. because it took a lot for giyu to confront you. he would think “i know they’re doing better without me, i’m just a negative person they can get rid of.”

when you two met, after a long time spent away from each others, giyu discovered that he actually missed you so much that his eyes started filling with tears. he hid them amazingly though, so you didn’t even noticed he was that happy to see you again.

“tomioka-san, what can i do for you?”

tomioka-san? he told you to call him giyu since you were very close. what happened?

“can i talk to you?” he asked in his usual tone, as if talking with you or not didn’t make any difference. “sure, what is it?” you nodded, a bit nervous. he came to put a serious end to your relationship, you could feel it.

“we used to spend a lot of time together, you seemed happy to be around me even if i’m not the best of people to have around… i was wondering if i did something to upset you?” you were surprised, not because he shared his thoughts so easily, but because he wanted to know what was wrong.

you stared at him in silence for a long moment, giyu didn’t lost his composure not even for a moment. when you finally decided to open up about it, his expression showed surprise. he listened carefully and wanted to find a solution, because as i said… giyu loved having you around.

“i can give you space if you need it, i won’t push you to do anything. but i want you to know that i’m here for you and that i’m not here only to hear your silly stories and funny adventures. i want to be… helpful, be there for you if needed,” he even tried to smile at you, a genuine smile.

“oh, giyu-san…” you hugged him and waited for him to engulf you with his strong arms. “i’m so sorry for making you doubt yourself.”

yeah, you missed giyu too. as he said, he’s here for your ups and downs. giyu would always try his best to help you.

reblogs & comments are super appreciated! thank you for taking your time reading it, i hope you enjoyed it. have a good day / night <3

[bettinalevyisdetermined]

Haii hellowrr howdy!!! :3 I'm a really big fan of your videos, they're amazing and always bring a smile to my face when i need it most! You are one of if not my favorite youtuber!! Anyways, here's my question: What would you advise to new tumblr users? Your videos make this place seem so wonderful and i really wanna be a part of this. Thanks!! ^w^

Man, I need to be a lot better about tagging my answers for Tumblr newbie advice... otherwise I would say just click on that tag and there you are, and I don't have to repeat myself...

If you're "fresh off the boat" in joining Tumblr and just starting out, welcome! Here are a few things to remember:

Make sure you get yourself a new profile pic when you can, so people don't assume you're a bot when you start following blogs. It can be anything you like, as long as it's not the default Tumblr sphere and cone faces, or a scantily clad humans (usually female) making poses and selfies. :P

Whether you're new or a Tumblr veteran, we are all treated the same. No one knows other people's follower counts, it's not publically broadcasted like Twitter and Instagram, or Youtube subscribers or Facebook friends. Which means there's no need to put people on pedestals, or look down on others.

Don't be afraid of liking and reblogging posts. When you reblog things, you can say nothing, or you can write something relevant or clever in your post addition, hide your thoughts in the tags, or whisper to OP in the comment section.

This is an app / site where you can be yourself. Enjoy the things you like, express yourself how you want to. You might feel like you're screaming into the void for a while at first, but it's not that hard to find people who like the same things you like.

Try to keep your head on straight and your wits about you. They call it Tumblr because it's easy to tumble down the rabbit hole and wind up in strange, whimsical places where everyone is crazy and mad and don't make a lick of sense. If you're a little weird and wacky, you'll fit in nicely. If you're lost and questioning what people are talking about with their plinko horses and vanilla extract memes, be patient. You'll find out soon enough.

There, that should be enough to satisfy newcomers. If you're still wondering what to do, search for Tumblr advice elsewhere. I'm far from being a Tumblr expert. XD

[xinsareforever]

Would you be down to do some x reader stuff with your oc?

Like maybe a sfw/nsfw alphabet or something?

Somber (OC) x GN!Reader

Topic: SFW Alphabet (NSFW coming soon!)

A/N: I DIDNT EXPECT SOMEONE TO ACTUALLY REQUEST MY OCC??

Tags: Gender neutral, Fluff, SFW

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?):

Somber will give you a bucket load of her love and affection!! Even when she is busy with her work, she will try to squeeze in room for you two to beloved! At first in the relationship, she's not open about affection in the slightest but will give a few hugs here and there due to her shyness.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

She will be there for you always! Even if she's in the wrong , she will still be present for your well being !! You can even borrow her things and SLEEPOVERS. At first in the friendship, if you do become friends.. I mean just like Affection she's not really open as much but will talk to you once in a while

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Somber loves cuddling ! She wants to be in your warm embrace as you to drift asleep. Once you're cuddling with her she wont let go.

"H-Hey why are u leaving <:,("-S "I'm just getting water somber.."

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

She lovesss cooking and baking for youuu ! Cookies, Macarons, Steak? Name it and she will stir up the pot for you! Otherwise cleaning, you need to kind of help her because sometimes thing end up all in the closet-

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?) **INSERT VIOLENT SOBS AND TRYING TO KEEP COMPOSURE**

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Somber will only be wanting to be committed if you had lasted long with her! If its just 4 months she would reject but have you keep the ring till another time!

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

She's really gentle with you physically and emotionally- Will feel really sad if she hurt you though.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Somber loves hugs but wont really say it expecting you to be the one hugging her without her telling you too. Once that happens she is BLUSHING

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

"I love you dearrr"

"i love you too-"

4 mins later.

"I love you bbyy"

(IT REPEATS BUT DW IT STOPS AFTER A WHILE)

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Somber gets really jealous when she sees some other person hanging out with you especially when she thinks they're prettier than her or.. possibly replace her. She wont do nothing except give them a big ol glare to the other person and try to bring you away from them. (She switches moods easily..)

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

She gives a lot of kisses! She gives you lil kisses on the cheek and on ur lips anddd practically everywhere- She likes the lip kisses alot so expect a big red blush when you do that.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?) Somber is shy around kids at first, unsure of how to interact with them, but once she warms up, she becomes surprisingly playful. She likes teaching them small things, like how to bake simple cookies, and finds their laughter to be oddly comforting.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?) Mornings with Somber are peaceful but slow. She loves cuddling in bed for as long as possible before reluctantly getting up. She’ll make breakfast for the both of you, usually something simple like toast or pancakes. She likes the quiet, serene vibe of the morning.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?) Nights are Somber’s favorite time to wind down. She enjoys cuddling up in blankets with you, watching a show or reading. Sometimes, she’ll fall asleep on your shoulder, and when she does, it’s a challenge to get her to move to the bed without waking her.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?) Somber takes her time revealing her deeper thoughts and feelings. It might take months before she feels comfortable opening up completely, but when she does, it’s all at once. She’ll spend hours one night just talking to you about her fears, dreams, and everything in between.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?) Somber has a pretty calm demeanor, but her patience can be tested if she feels ignored or unappreciated. She’s not quick to anger but can be passive-aggressive when she’s upset, withdrawing until she feels heard.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?) Somber is surprisingly good at remembering the little things. She’ll recall your favorite snacks, that random thing you mentioned wanting to do weeks ago, and small details about your day. She loves to surprise you with things she knows you like.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?) Her favorite moment is the first time you genuinely comforted her when she was feeling down. The way you held her and made her feel safe is something she’ll always cherish. It was the moment she realized she could trust you with her heart.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?) Somber is protective but in a quiet way. She’ll subtly watch over you, making sure you’re safe and happy. If someone hurts or upsets you, she’ll step in, though her approach will be more emotional than physical. (BUT WILL TURN PHYSICAL IF SOMEONE FRFR HURTS YOU) In return, she loves feeling protected by you, especially in moments of vulnerability.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?) Somber goes all out for special occasions, planning thoughtful dates or handmade gifts that show she really knows you. For everyday tasks, she puts in effort but sometimes needs reminders to keep up with them, especially if she's distracted by her work.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?) She has a habit of bottling up her emotions until they come out all at once. Somber can also be a bit forgetful when it comes to cleaning and organizing, leaving things scattered until you gently remind her.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?) Somber is moderately concerned with her appearance. She likes to look good for you and often worries that she’s not pretty enough, especially when she feels jealous. Compliments from you boost her confidence immensely.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?) Yes, Somber would feel incomplete without you. You’ve become her safe space and comfort, so being apart from you would make her feel lost and anxious. She’s built her sense of peace around the connection you share.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.) Somber loves stargazing. On quiet nights, she’ll drag you outside, wrap both of you in a blanket, and spend hours just lying on the grass, pointing out constellations and making up stories about them.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?) She dislikes dishonesty and people who are too controlling. Somber values her independence and needs to feel trusted and free in a relationship. She also doesn’t like loud, chaotic environments; she’s more of a quiet, cozy vibe person.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?) Somber is a sleep-talker. Occasionally, she’ll mumble soft, unintelligible words in her sleep. She also has a habit of clinging onto you like a koala when you’re in bed together, making it hard to move without waking her up.

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