#as someone who wouldn't exist if my parents had been 'responsible'

[glowingvenus]

no one asked for my hottest take but here it is: if you really believe in bodily autonomy, then we have to create a society where people can have as many babies as they want to, no matter what their personal circumstances are, without being considered irresponsible! we need to ensure that every child is provided for by the community. we need to invest in universal childcare, healthcare, housing, and education, and we all need to take responsibility for the safety of every child in our community. making babies is just a neutral thing that our bodies do, and everyone should be able to do it and be supported in it unconditionally, just the same as if they choose contraception or abortion!

[artemisdesari-blog]

Sometimes being the mum who exists in fandom spaces leads to awkward, even concerning, conversations. Such as the one which happened this morning. The mum of my daughter's best mate asked me if one of their mutual friends had sent her a specific message. This message was a link to a fic on ao3, if this had been a G rated fic this conversation would not have happened. It was not G rated. It was an E rated fic. Our kids aren't even 12 yet. As it happens, both of our kids have their internet access heavily locked down and monitored. They have phones because of how their school manages homework. The mutual friend, however, is not so monitored. Or she wasn't, given what her mum found she's about to be. This kid had found a fandom, joined it, and found it chock full of antis. The fic had been sent to her by one of them as an example of the sort of terrible people out there who need to be harassed and attacked because they wrote a smutty story.

Someone thought it was appropriate to send written porn to an 11 year old to encourage her to attack the author.

This resulted in a very awkward conversation where I had to explain to multiple horrified parents the anti culture that is becoming so prevalent. The fact that there are adults who use that purity message to groom kids. The way they escalate and how it bleeds into real life. One parent told me she'd wondered why her 14 year old was suddenly concerned about the two year age gap between her parents. The more I explained, the more absolutely ludicrous it sounded and the more baffled these poor mums looked. More than once I was told "but the characters aren't real, it's really weird but it isn't hurting anyone". Which is the point. The fictional situation isn't hurting anyone. The person who sent porn to an 11 year old is.

Was the person who sent it the author? Doubtful, that thing was tagged in the extreme. Was the person who sent it an adult? Almost certainly. The parent who's child received the original message has found more concerning stuff and gone to the police, but from the language the person doing the sending was in the US. We aren't. Did my daughter receive it? No, she isn't interested in that fandom and therefore wouldn't have bothered with it. Is this the fault of the author? No, they didn't send the link, they didn't ask to be harassed, they wrote a story and put it on ao3, the website created in response to rampant censorship and designed to allow for all kinds of fiction. Is this the fault of the parents? Partially, they should have been looking at their daughter's internet use and clocked what was happening sooner. Is this the fault of the child? No, she's 11, she didn't know better.

This has been a difficult day. Multiple parents have had their eyes opened to parts of fandom culture they had no idea existed. And the thing of it is, they aren't concerned about the why of anti rhetoric. They don't care about the adults writing about teens or rape or incest or torture or any of the rest, because they looked at the clearly tagged and rated fics and figured that it worked the same as a warning on any streaming service. They only cared because some utterly vile individual decided to expose their child to something this girl might not have looked at for years.

Proshippers did not cause what I have spent afternoon helping several sets of parents navigate. Antis did. Normally I'm fairly quiet about the whole debate because I just want to get on with my life and share my experiences. Today I got dragged into that mess in my every day life and the adults in the equation didn't react the way Antis like to think they would. They didn't condemn the author. They condemned the anti who shared the work with a preteen.

[adragonsfriend]

Use this one trick to instantly fix all childhood trauma (Jedi Masters don’t want you to know this)!!!!!

That is what every “if Obi-Wan had just— *adds one extra scene to canon* —then Anakin would’ve had perfect mental health and never listened to Palpatine at all,” sounds like to me. Look I am not an expert on any kind of psychology at all let alone early childhood development but,

It is possible to do your very best to help or raise someone and still have bad or imperfect outcomes, especially when you have someone actively, secretly working against you (cough cough Sith Lord of the month cough), (for many reasons, but in this case particularly), because unravelling the mindset built in early childhood is hard, actually.

Coming at this from the “raised in a safe and loving environment” side of things, it took me years to figure out and internalize that my friends whose parents weren’t as great as mine were functioning in an entirely different landscape when it came to their interactions with adults.

Many years ago when I was in middle school a friend (acquaintance? idk I think most people thought I was annoying) told me that her ankle kept giving out and causing her pain. I asked if she'd told her parents so she could rest or go to the doctor. She told me she had, but her mother either hadn't listened or refused to help. My (approximate) responses?

"So it's not actually that bad then?"

"You should tell her again."

"Are you sure you explained it right?"

The only explanation I could comprehend at the time was that there must have been some unclear communication about the situation or its severity--if her mother had understood she was in pain, she couldn't possibly have just not done anything about it? Adults are responsible, caring, etcetera! They wouldn't do that?!

With more experience, I've come to understand better, and learned to respond in kinder, more helpful ways, but the shift in mindset was not and is not intuitive.

And I had the luxury of figuring all that out whilst being safe myself. Coming from the other direction, being in danger and trying to figure out why other people act like the world is safe? I can't say for sure, but I imagine it’s a lot more complicated.

Point with regard to Star Wars being, it really is harder for Anakin, coming in later, to acclimate to the Jedi ways and thought processes than it is for his peers who grew up in the safe environment of the Temple. And whatever arguments people want to have about how much psychology and therapy exist in the Star Wars universe, or how much “Jedi just do cognitive behavioral therapy” (not totally inaccurate, but reductive on several levels), no matter what the answers to those questions, it will still be harder for Anakin.

There is a reason the council changes its mind on training him only after he is suddenly famous and the Sith are proven to be back. When Anakin was not in significant danger of being snatched up by someone else, it was genuinely probably the easier and safer option—for him and everyone else—for him to live a different life.

The Jedi are not necessarily fully prepared for a child with Anakin's history, and, there is nothing bad about living an ordinary life. Anakin would not have been somehow unforgivably robbed by living life as a mechanic or an engineer or something, rather than being a Jedi.

Anakin is a victim of many things in his life—Sidious, Watto, Gardulla, Tatooine’s everything, his own conscious choices—but he is not a victim of malice, incompetence, or idiocy by the Jedi just because they couldn't—in only a decade or so—help him fully and perfectly unravel the mindset he developed in his early childhood. If there was any lack of qualification on their part, it was one they were aware of—but which was outweighed by the danger of little Anakin getting kidnapped out of normal-kid elementary school.

Being brought up in and around slavery absolutely made him more vulnerable to Sidous and became the basis of their dynamic as master and apprentice. Acting like the trauma that affects his mindset and actions for his entire life can be obliterated just by making minimal changes to the plot is wild to me.

And don’t get me wrong, fics and headcanons can do whatever they want, not everyone wants or is trying to write a deep psychological character study (also fanfic and even fiction in general cannot and should not be held to any standard of realism if it's not serving the story and the author)—simple fix-it’s (my love) are fun and an excellent short-cut to other things like happiness and fluff (my other loves)—but don’t act serious about the idea that adding one conversation about his feelings or one extra explanation about Jedi philosophy would automatically lead to Anakin having perfect mental health outcomes and always making good decisions.

Disclaimer (if the ones throughout weren't enough) : please go forth and do whatever you want. the moral of this post is actually just that (1) you won’t convince me, (2) I wanted to talk about this, (3) the clickbait title was too funny not to post, (4) i literally can't open my mouth without phrasing things like i'm in the middle of a heated debate, and (5) i continue to not be an expert in early childhood development—my evidence is very literally anecdotal

[yesimwriting]

If you do, i hope you write for benefict.

Hes the superior brother

Love you 💋 (i feel bad in ending a request without saying some sort of goodbye, it feels rude)

anon i feel u, ending asks always feels so awkward lol

anyway!! happy bridgerton release weekend!!

there are no season 3 spoilers in this!

----

Once upon a time, this had been nothing more than a story your sister would whisper to you long after you were meant to be in bed. She'd tell you about everything: the members of the ton in their finest clothing, the beauty of the balls, the swell of the music, and the charm of the potential suitors.

Now that you've debuted, and the world of formal gowns and evening dances has become a part of your reality, you wonder if your sister meant to exaggerate. Maybe it had been part of some grand scheme to make you desire what she never did--a husband with a high enough rank to redeem your family name.

It wouldn't have mattered. Your sister didn't need to sell you the fantasy of finding a husband. After some poor investments injured your family's fortune and your formerly perfect sister married someone your parents considered beneath her, you decided that they had experienced as much heartache as they could bear.

The final straw was your mother passing in childbirth. The stress had aged your father, who constantly worried about what would become of you and his name when his time came. You made the decision to never add to his worries, not with your father constantly reminding you that you are your family's final hope.

And while you've made your peace with planning your future around preserving your family's name, you never expected for the process to be so overwhelming.

You thought it'd be easy to take a moment to indulge in the atmosphere. To listen to the soft swell of the music, to watch the crowds enjoy their dancing and conversation. The first suitor found you before you could fully process what you were seeing. The second came right after, and since then, the men have been multiplying.

Perhaps you'd be able to appreciate the practicality of their presence if they weren't so focused on winning your attention through their questions.

"I've always wanted to raise my children in the country, and you, Miss..." You manage to provide your full name before another young man cuts in. "How many children would you like?"

You blink. "Oh, um, children are a blessing, I suppose I'd--"

"Tell me, are you one of those women that allow novels to take up their time?"

"I like reading," you admit easily, "I don't know if I'd say it takes up my time, but I do--"

You're cut off yet again, "You seem oddly familiar. Remind me, is your family from the city?"

Never did you think you'd miss strangers asking you about your desires for your future children. You're not ashamed of your family, not by any means, but after your father's public financial issues and your sister's chosen match existing outside of society, your parents made the choice to leave this world for some time.

They presented the excuse of traveling, then they claimed that your grandmother was unwell and in need of constant familial care, and then the ton stopped asking. The world moved on, forgetting their scandal in favor of more relevant gossip. They might have never faced the potential uproar of returning if it hadn't been for your mother's friendship with Lady Danbury, who offered to make you her personal guest this debut season.

"Excuse me." The attention shifts away from you as the band of suitors fall silent. You blink, turning your head to look your savior in the eye. He's taller than you expected, with deep brown hair and soft eyes that briefly make you forget that you exist outside of your novels. "I was wondering if you'd join me for a dance?"

Your lips part, but there is no response. You blame it on the man waiting for an answer--he had not so much as asked for your name before inviting you to dance and that--and his--his smile and his eyes--they're distracting. Bright and familiar in a way that reminds you of the easiness of childhood.

"Unless, of course," he begins, "Your next dance has already been spoken for?"

The others had been too distracted by their desire to turn what they perceived as a stranger into something more digestible. They wanted to assess before allowing themselves to be seen dancing with you at the first ball of the season.

One of the other lords raises his chin slightly, a precursor to an intervention. The thought of having to let go of your ability to escape brings you back to. "No," you manage, "No, it has not." The answer feels more jumbled than it should be. You're meant to be a lady--a mature lady that does not turn bashful at the first sign of attention. "I'd be delighted to join you for a dance, Lord..."

His eyebrows briefly pull together as he responds, "Bridgerton. Benedict Bridgerton."

Bridgerton. It hits you with no warning. The summer afternoons spent--much to your mama's horror--running through the gardens, the conversations in the library, the birthdays, teas, and large family gatherings.

Benedict Bridgerton is standing in front of you, asking you to dance. If the version of you that used to hold onto the every word of her sister's stories could see you now, she'd faint of happiness. While you were always closest to Eloise, often joining her and Penelope as your parents spoke to the older Bridgertons in the foyer, the first boy you ever wanted to imagine in this situation was Benedict.

Your feelings for him might have been defined by the innocence of childhood, but they were also painfully obvious. Your only saving grace was the fact that Benedict never looked at you long enough to notice.

"Then...I'd be delighted to, Lord Bridgerton."

He offers you an arm. The other men are forced to give you the space needed for you to approach Benedict. Your movements feel hazy as you step forward. This reunion has been fun, and extremely satisfying for your childhood self, but you really should mention that you know him. He'll likely go back to viewing you as a child, which is okay. It's not like he'd marry you. After the way you disappeared on his family after the passing of his father, you'll be lucky if he doesn't hate you.

Benedict guides you forward, the music coming to an end as the pairs already on the floor begin to still. "Forgive me if the intrusion was unwelcome."

The comment surprises you as you step back. "Unwelcome?" His lips press together as he places a hand against your back. The uncertainty does not suit him. "You do not have to worry about misstepping." His eyebrows draw together, and you realize your misstep. Benedict does not remember you. A lady should not encourage any man, suitor or otherwise, to speak so freely.

"I mean--" You pause as a soft melody begins to play. "All I meant was that I value honesty. If you were to unintentionally say something that you viewed as too transparent, I'd sooner appreciate your candor than pass judgement." The words tumble out, too jumbled and heavy for a first dance. Instead of responding, he watches you. "A courtesy I've often relied on. Clearly."

Benedict shakes his head once, a smile you'd like to believe is as good humored as it seems tugging at his lips. "No, no--for the sake of transparency, I was just thinking that I didn't expect to enjoy our conversation as much as I am."

The response immediately burrows into your chest, forcing all of the air out of your lungs. In the moments it takes you to recover, you're surprised that you don't miss a step of your dance. "And what were you expecting?" The question feels too sharp and sudden. "For the sake of transparency."

You're not sure if the joke has run its course, but Benedict seems to ease at it. "I was expecting...an escape from the mamas attempting to find me for their daughters."

Benedict's admission is stiff, his eyes focusing on something just beyond your shoulder. You would have never imagined that the eligible men had their own version of feeling trapped by the confines of politeness and societal duty. Despite Benedict's lack of malice, the mental image makes something in your chest ache. The thought is oddly endearing. A hovering mama, inserting herself in her daughter's affairs, guiding her through finding a match.

"I did not mean to offend you--"

"No," you shake your head, forcing yourself to think about what you do have, "No, it's not you. In fact, I was just thinking that I was also in need of an escape."

Benedict steps forward, continuing to lead you through the dance. His expression softens at your response. "Then it appears we've helped each other."

The music swells to its climax. The song will end soon. "It appears we did."

You match another step, careful to remember the dances your sister made you go over before arriving at Lady Danbury's home. "Unless your mama was part of the pack hunting me down."

"Pack?" You repeat, forcing yourself to feel your amusement more than your grief. "I did not realize I was in the presence of a bachelor so eligible, he's quite literally hunted by a frenzy of mamas desperate for him to speak to their daughters."

Benedict laughs at that, the sound fighting to be more restrained than it actually is. Your awareness of your surroundings isn't enough to keep you from laughing with him. "That's not how I meant it."

"I know." A beat passes, and when the glowing feeling slowly but surely growing in your chest doesn't dissipate, you continue, "Actually, my mama's not here." It's as close to getting the words out as you can get. Not gone, not buried, just not here. "I am here as Lady Danbury's charge."

The music comes to an end. Some quality of his expression that you can't translate shifts. "Really?" You nod. Okay, Benedict now knows who you're staying with. It's time to confess who you are. Your lips part, but Benedict beats you to it. "I know who you're with, and I still don't know your name."

An undeniable question. You swallow, preparing to force out your own name.

"Benedict." At the sound of his name, he turns his head. A young woman you vaguely recognize from your debut approaches him. "I think I should need some air, brother." Oh--his sister. A Bridgerton who's closer to you in age--Francesca. You tense, waiting for some sense of recognition to pass over her. She barely glances at you, her body language stiff and uncomfortable.

Benedict seems to pick up on her worry. He allows her to take his arm. "Alright...I'll escort you." He looks over at you, expression apologetic, "I'm--"

"It's alright." You mean it. "Go, help your sister. You've already helped me more than I thought possible."

Benedict nods, offering you a parting glance as he escorts his sister away from the floor.

What were you thinking? Discussing an appreciation for honesty and transparency while actively keeping a secret from him? Perhaps Francesca's appearance was a sign that things are better off ended there.

Benedict's aversion of mamas implies that he is not ready to be married. He has no plans on courting you, and you may very well go the rest of the reason without speaking to him. The thought of getting to keep your secret, of not having to find out if Benedict holds the fact that after his father passed and your family moved, you didn't write to him or his family against you, is a blessing. It should make you happy, but instead, it only magnifies the hollowness of your chest.

----

i want to write a part 2 for this something BAD i love bridgerton

[theaskywalker]

hi! I had a small idea with Seth, reader (if you could do fem that would be amazing!) was in Russia for 4 years for her studies, for her coming back. she wanted to Suprise Seth by coming over in his jacket he gave her before she left:) I was thinking in that moment he looked at her (her eyes to be exact) he imprinted on her. (I would love for reader to have really sharp canines, not a vampire but almost like it! that's how my teeth have been and wanted to see someone include it in a fic:)

Seth Clearwater x Fem! Reader

Thank you for the request ghosty-boo-shh! It was an interesting idea and very fun to write. Hope you enjoy it! 😊

❥ You had always been close with Seth Clearwater.

❥ Having grown up in the same neighborhood and with your mothers being best friends it was no surprise that the two of you became practically inseparable.

❥ Sitting together during classes.

❥ Passing notes to each other when the teachers seperated you.

❥ Having lunch at the cafeteria.

❥ Studying together after school.

❥ Spending the weekends chilling at the beach or indoors watching movies and playing video games.

❥ Leah always joked that you acted like a married couple.

❥ Which turned the both of you into blushing fools.

❥ Seth liked to call you his little Dracula due to your extremely sharp canines.

❥ He loved that characteristic about you.

❥ And constantly reminded you of how cool it was.

❥ You in turn called him all sorts of silly nicknames referencing his favourite pop culture elements.

❥ By the time high school rolled up, you had fallen hopelessly in love with your best friend.

❥ You wanted to confess your feelings but the fear of him not returning them kept you silent.

❥ That's when everything changed.

❥ Your impressive academic record had won you a scholarship to attend one of the most prestigious colleges in Russia.

❥ It was your dream to study there and you were ecstatic.

❥ The day before you left, Seth came at your house to say goodbye.

❥ He surprised you by giving you his leather jacket that you had been admiring since the day he bought it.

"Something to remember me while you're at Moscow" he said.

❥ Without thinking you kissed him hard on the lips.

❥ A kiss that he reciprocated after a moment's hesitation.

❥ You confessed your feelings afterwards and Seth did the same.

❥ A long distance relationship wouldn't be easy.

❥ You promised to call him everyday and send emails in-between.

❥ And he promised to wait for you as long as it was needed.

❥ At first the communication between the two of you was daily.

❥ But after several months Seth's responses became less and less frequent.

❥ You didn't understand what caused this change in behaviour.

❥ Phone calls became non existent.

❥ And emails would be replied once a week at most.

❥ You patiently went along with it hoping that everything would go back as normal when you returned to Forks.

❥ After 4 years of studying abroad you finally graduated and made the long journey back home.

❥ The first thing you did after arriving in Forks was to go at Seth's house to surprise him.

❥ You had planned this little surprise beforehand by telling your parents to keep your return a secret.

❥ You even wore the jacket Seth gave you before leaving, thinking it would be nice to show him how much his present meant to you.

❥ Sue Clearwater greeted you warmly and explained that Seth and Leah were at the beach with friends.

❥ You went straight to La Push and saw the Clearwater siblings sitting across a fire roasting marshmallows together with Jacob Black, Quil Ateara and another boy.

❥ Leah was the first of the group to spot you and happily called you over.

❥ You gave Leah a hug and greeted Jacob and Quil, who introduced you to the third boy, Embry Call.

❥ Shyly, you turned to Seth and greeted him with a nervous "hello".

❥ The moment Seth locked eyes with you time freezed and gravity no longer held him in place.

❥ You were equally awestruck and unable to utter a word.

❥ Seth had loved you for years but nothing had prepared him for this extraordinary feeling that took over him.

❥ It was like your soul had touched his in an intimate way and nothing would ever be the same.

❥ Jacob Black broke the silence by asking you and Seth to collect more firewood.

❥ The two of you agreed.

❥ As you silently collected twigs along the beach, Seth noticed the jacket that you wore and grinned.

"You still have it after all those years"

❥ You smiled at Seth and told him that the jacket was a reminder of all the beautiful memories you had together.

"And I hope that it will be the start of many more to come" you added.

❥ Seth looked at you with adoration and claimed your lips in a gentle kiss that gradually grew more passionate.

❥ By the time the two of you made it back to the group with the firewood you were tasked to collect, one thing was certain.

"This is the beginning of something good"

Masterlist

[paradoxcase]

Someone posted on one of the reddit asexual communities a bit ago saying that they thought they might be ace for XYZ reasons which were completely sensible reasons to think that, but that the idea that they might be ace made them feel sad because they felt like they wouldn't get to experience sex or sexual attraction the way most people did, and was that feeling sad thing an indication that they weren't really ace? And a bunch of us responded that, nah, actually that's a pretty common experience

But it made me wonder, like, is that actually a primarily ace and/or aro experience, because those identities are kind of necessarily about things you don't experience, or do other queer people feel this way, too? Like I've heard of people who start out with negative thoughts about being queer, but it's usually stuff like, I'm afraid I will be the victim of a hate crime, I'm afraid my parents will kick me out of the house, I'm afraid I won't have enough money to transition. I haven't heard as much stuff that's like, I'm sad that I didn't live up to my expectations for being "normal". I don't mean like self-hatred stuff, either, like not stuff like, there's something wrong with me, or I'm broken, or I'm gross, or I'm sinning against god just by existing, but just like, I'm sad, I'm mourning some life experiences that I thought I would have that I probably won't have after all

So, I'm curious what other people's experiences have been. Polls have limited options, so I necessarily had to condense a lot of identities into a few groups, hopefully most people are included here. If you have felt that way about multiple labels, pick whichever one you want. If you have never experienced this, just pick the group you identify most strongly with if you identify with multiple

Please reblog this, because if it only stays on my part of tumblr probably like 90% of responses will be from ace people

[t3a-tan]

Hi! I have read that au were Oliver is a human... What would happen if he found a tiny borrower child?

Human Oliver is certifiably the best at dealing with tiny people

Kind of a continuation of this

Word Count: 2,428

---

"Oliver? I found this toy outside… I think someone dropped it."

When coming into work that morning the last thing Oliver expected was to see one of the children he worked with pull a tiny person out of their pocket. At first glance it looked like an action figure— but Oliver bristled as he noticed the 'toy' was squirming; tiny tears glistening off of their cheeks.

Oliver was reminded of the tiny man he had seen not weeks ago who had fallen into his cereal bowl. He had mused with the idea of more tiny people existing, but he had never tried to seek them out. That man had been scared enough.

"It tickles…" The child currently clutching the tiny person in a…less than comfortable looking grip giggled. Oliver hid his wince behind a smile.

"Oh? Well it's good that you spotted it. One of my other patients' parents rang about a missing toy, actually. Thank you, Connie." Lying to his patients was not something he usually did as the trust he got from them was so important, but in this case he was lying in order to prevent harm rather than cause it.

Holding out his hand, Oliver watched as the tiny person was dropped into it, and as much as he wanted to right the situation as soon as possible he couldn't devote his attention onto the tiny person at the moment. Based on the first tiny person that Oliver had interacted with's reaction to being seen, Oliver doubted this one wanted their existence to be known by anyone else.

So he pocketed them, resting a hand over the trouser pocket and trying his best to keep still and to avoid straining the fabric and causing discomfort for the current unwilling passenger. He then focused on the session with his patient, hoping that the experience wouldn't be too traumatising for whoever he had trapped in his pocket.

…

Oliver was thankful that Connie was his last patient that day— once he had his office to himself again he sat down at his desk rather than the chair he sat on during sessions, reaching into his pocket with gentle but precise fingers until he snagged one of the tiny limbs within. They immediately began to thrash again once he had made contact, but Oliver still removed them from his pocket.

He knew he wouldn't hurt them… assuring them of that was a different story.

"It's alright…" He shushed, despite knowing they would probably be too panicked to listen clearly at the moment. Oliver carefully lowered the squirming person onto his desk. "I'm not going to—"

A pause.

"You're only a child…" He breathed, eyebrows furrowing with concern. If he had noticed such an important detail beforehand he would have been in a bit more of a rush to reassure them of their safety. Children were much more susceptible to lifelong traumas than adults, and Oliver wanted to prevent exactly that.

The tiny child appeared to be a boy, probably only eight or younger. He had an almost reddish brown hair and an almond skin tone, his eyes dark and frightened; filled with tears. The temporary eye contact he got was ripped away suddenly as the tiny boy struggled to his feet and began to run.

Oliver fought the urge to stop him. There was nowhere for the child to run to on the desk, so he only watched as he retreated and hid behind a stack of post-it notes.

The fact that he even could hide his entire person behind that stack was remarkable— but really, there were more pressing things to focus on.

"I'm sorry for keeping you in my pocket for so long. That must have been quite frightening…not to mention uncomfortable." Oliver spoke in a delicate tone, leaning his head down slightly so he wasn't towering quite so much.

"My name is Oliver… Dr. Oliver Oakwood…" He caught a glimpse of the little trembling ball curled up on his desk and only whimpering in response to his introduction. In fact, he thought he saw a tiny flinch at the mention of him being a doctor.

Oliver couldn't help but sigh, resting his cheek on one of his hands.

"Connie said she found you outside. What were you doing outside alone, little one? You can't be any older than eight." He tried to gently coax an answer from the terrified boy, treading lightly.

Based on the man who had fallen into Oliver's cereal not all that long ago, these little people lived in the walls of houses. Why was there a child all alone outside of a child's psychology practice? It didn't seem like the best place to live.

"I-I'm ten…"

Oliver's eyebrows raised slightly, almost not catching the shaky words. He's ten… His lips pressed into a frown. If this boy was ten, he was definitely malnourished.

"My apologies. Perhaps I need a new prescription for my glasses." Although a joke, Oliver wasn't the best at his delivery so it sounded completely serious to anyone listening. The child very hesitantly turned their head up to look at him, and Oliver remained still, offering a small reassuring smile.

"Are you lost, little one? I can help you get back to wherever you need to be and whoever you need to be with. I don't intend to hurt you or anything of the sort, so there's no need to be frightened— though it's perfectly understandable if you are." He made sure to keep his tone soft and non-threatening.

If he had been scary for a grown man, he was surely terrifying to this child.

The boy wiped his eyes slightly, hiccuping before opening his mouth as if to speak. They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Thinking quickly, Oliver murmured a small apology before placing his hand over the tiny child, not pressing down but making sure he couldn't squirm out of the grip nonetheless.

Kaleigh opened the door moments after, content as usual. Some people would say it was infectious, but Oliver kept up a neutral disposition despite her smile.

"Hey, Oliver. Helen said to let you know that she can't do the meeting tomorrow, so she's rescheduling it to the tenth next month if that date works for you too— her daughter tested positive for COVID this morning. She tested negative but you should probably take the test too just in case." She explained, tapping on the edge of the door slightly.

Oliver nodded. "I'll take it once I'm home and I'll email her about the meeting… Thank you for letting me know." He offered a polite smile, although on the inside he wished he had just been emailed about the situation later.

Kaleigh smiled brightly in response, nodding and shutting the door again. Oliver waited a few moments before letting out a sigh of relief, and lifting his hand off of the tiny child trapped under it. His expression shifted to one of concern.

"I'm sorry. Did I hurt you at all?" He asked gently. The squirming had stopped once Kaleigh started speaking, so Oliver worried he might have accidentally pressed down too hard. The boy shook his head, staring up at Oliver with…awe? What?

"Y-you…you hid me from her…"

Oliver blinked, his brows pinching with confusion. That wasn't the response he expected.

"Of course. I presumed you don't want to be seen by anyone else. You're already scared enough of me, so I doubt another giant would help." He tilted his head slightly. "Was that the correct assumption?"

The boy nodded quickly, eyes wide. Oliver let out a small sigh of relief, relaxing a bit. He was glad he hadn't needlessly trapped the boy in such a forceful manner.

There was silence for a few moments, the boy fidgeting nervously as Oliver observed, thinking about what to do now.

"A-are…are you going to let me go..?"

Oliver was once again taken aback by the boy's hesitant words. Did he think Oliver would keep him? Tiny people sure thought humans were barbaric creatures… he was sure the size difference only made those beliefs worse.

"Of course, sweetheart. You're a person, not mine to keep." Oliver leaned in slightly, now resting his head on his forearms, looking over the boy's unkempt appearance. It seemed that tiny people didn't live all that well. "Although ten is quite a big age, I will need to make sure I return you to your parents when I do let you go. Are they in this building?"

The boy shook his head, before beginning to tear up again.

"I-I'm lost… I fell in the lady's bag and she brought it here, a-and I tried to figure out where I was outside but then I got caught by the small human…" The boy began to spiral, hugging himself in a self-soothing gesture. Oliver's expression became sympathetic.

"Oh dear…" He wanted to physically comfort the child, but he also knew by now that his hands were considered the very opposite of comforting. "Is it alright if I hold you, little one?"

He fully expected a no, and would have respected that— but he was pleasantly surprised by the nod he received in response to that question. Very gently, and slow enough for the boy to change his mind at any moment, Oliver scooped him up into his hands and cradled him closely.

"There there…" He felt minuscule hands grip onto his shirt, his thumb rubbing circles into the tiny boy's back. "I'll get you home, I promise you that. And until you are home I won't let anything happen to you, okay?"

Being lost was already terrifying for children that weren't shorter than his thumb— he couldn't imagine how scared this boy must have been, especially considering these tiny people thought humans would do terrible things to them.

And Oliver had no doubt that was true of some humans. He couldn't blame them for being afraid; he could only try to assure them of their safety and personhood.

Once the boy had stopped crying, Oliver spoke again, this time trying to get the information he needed to help him get home safely.

"What did the lady look like? Perhaps I'll recognize the description." He asked, his tone still light and soothing. The boy sniffled and wiped at his eyes.

"S-she… she has light brown hair… a-and she's old. Mama says she's in her forties…" Oliver didn't bother to correct the child that forty was not old in the slightest, focusing on pinpointing the description on a person.

"Is her name Helen?" He tilted his head as he waited for confirmation. The boy perked up and nodded.

"I-I think so… but she went home. H-how am I going to find home now..?" He began to get worked up again, sniffling and eyes watering, preparing to cry. Oliver rubbed his back again gently, offering a reassuring smile.

"Don't worry… she's my supervisor. I know where she lives. I can drop by on my way home, alright?" He assured. The boy wiped at his eyes again and nodded. Oliver hummed. "What's your name by the way, little one?"

"M-Marcus…" He stammered in response. Oliver smiled again.

"Okay, Marcus. You'll be home safe in no time…"

…

Oliver stopped by the corner shop to buy a get well soon card and some sweets, just to use as an excuse for why he was stopping by— not to mention that it was the polite thing to do. He had Marcus in his chest pocket the whole time, speaking to him whilst they were in the car.

Marcus was a curious and bright young boy— he told Oliver all about his collection of broken crayons and the drawings in his room. He spoke about his parents, and told him about what borrowers were. There was no sign of the timid boy Oliver had first met— now he was just as bubbly and energetic as could be, and Oliver couldn't help but smile over that fact.

After reaching Helen's house, Oliver got out of the car and picked up her card and sweets, walking to the front door and knocking three times. He had put on a mask beforehand— he still had some disposable ones in his car from when the pandemic first kicked off.

She opened the door, also wearing a mask.

"Hello Oliver." She greeted, though Oliver could tell she was thoroughly confused by his presence. He held out the card and sweets.

"Kaleigh let me know that your daughter is sick. I hope she feels better soon…" He explained politely. Her face lit up.

"Oh! How sweet. Let me make you a cuppa before you head off, alright? Jamie has been in her room since this morning and I've wiped everything down, so everything should be COVID free." She stepped aside and opened the door wider so Oliver could come in. Oliver entered with a nod.

"You can take off your mask for now by the way."

Once he was inside she shut the door behind him and shuffled into the kitchen in her slippers, pulling out a chair at the table. Oliver sat down graciously, removing his mask.

"Luckily she's not having really bad symptoms at the moment… Mostly headaches and muscle soreness. She had a fever earlier but it's gone now." Helen began to talk and Oliver paid attention whilst at the same time very delicately removing Marcus from his pocket, taking the opportunity whilst her back was turned.

He hummed, prompting her to continue as he leaned down and carefully placed Marcus onto the ground, giving him a gentle pat on the head with his finger. Marcus hugged onto the appendage for a few moments before looking around to get his bearings. Oliver waited patiently, just to make sure this was indeed the right house.

"I had it twice last year and it was awful. I'm glad she doesn't get the more severe symptoms like that." Helen continued.

"I recall."

Soon enough Marcus had ran over to one of the walls with an outlet, prying it open just enough to fit through. He waved to Oliver before ducking inside, and Oliver waved back with a smile, watching the outlet shut behind him.

"How do you have your tea?"

He turned his gaze to focus on Helen again. His heart felt warm; relieved that the tiny boy was safe, and that his parents wouldn't be worried sick over his disappearance for much longer. He leaned his chin onto his hand, meeting his supervisor's gaze with a smile.

"Just one sugar please."

[chronicallycouchbound]

Homelessness as Trauma: Transitioning Into Housing

Having housing after experiencing homelessness for over half of my life wasn’t healing for me (and most others too).

Homelessness is inherently traumatic in and of itself. Just the act of not having housing is traumatic. But before someone becomes homeless ever, we know that certain marginalized communities are more likely to become homeless, and that those marginalized communities are experiencing communal trauma AND the individual person is experiencing trauma. Additionally, whatever led to you becoming homeless was traumatic. And then you’re at significantly increased exposure to other traumas while unhoused (friends dying, police violence, systemic barriers, communal traumas, developing medical conditions, medical discrimination, etc).

Long-term homelessness is exponentially traumatizing.

When I lived in a youth homeless shelter for nearly 4 years, prior to, and after that I had been unhoused or in extremely unstable housing. Watching as other youth would become unhoused and then quickly gain housing, some in under a week, most in under a few months, I felt absolutely dispirited. As time went on, I only acquired more marginalization and thus faced more barriers. I felt like I would never have stable housing. It often still feels this way.

The staff at the shelter where I lived consistently said “We are not a crisis stabilization unit” in response to youth showing signs of trauma and crisis. Almost no concrete supportive services exist for people transitioning out of long-term homelessness. I stopped qualifying for most services after I stopped being legally homeless, even though my housing was even more unstable than the shelter was most of the time.

For a frame of reference, because I was never officially in foster care as a minor (even though I was homeless and on my own documented as a minor, had various legal guardians other than my parents, as well as dozens of child services calls and regular check-ins with caseworkers because of documented physical abuse and neglect all throughout my childhood, but I digress) I don't qualify for the services that foster youth get granted until they're 30, even if they only spent 1 night in foster care. Some of those services include free college, housing vouchers to pay for housing in full, guaranteed Medicaid coverage, additional food stamps, and more. I have several friends who have used these programs and are thriving! I'm glad they exist for people in need-- they should also be expanded to include homeless youth.

So when I moved into my first apartment, on my own, at age 19, I was genuinely more terrified than at any time while I had ever been homeless. I slept with my backpack as a pillow and my jacket as a blanket, despite having pillows and blankets to use. It was like a security blanket for me. I slept with my knife on my waistband like I always did, and I reluctantly put my boots within arm's reach instead of wearing them.

I didn't put anything into cabinets or closets or drawers for a very long time. I just kept living out of my backpack. I was afraid of leaving anything in my apartment-- usually leaving any possessions anywhere meant saying goodbye to them. I was afraid of being alone in my tiny studio apartment so I would have friends over every night.

There was times I wouldn't leave my apartment for days on end, especially when I started owning possessions that I had to leave behind and couldn't carry everything on my back anymore. I can't remember a time I owned enough possessions that I couldn't fit them all into a tote box and backpack. It was an entirely foreign experience.

People kept congratulating me and yet no one gave me any help with getting basic necessities for my apartment. Every pot and pan I own is scratched to shit and found free on the road, akin to all my mismatched dull knives and friend's hand-me-down towels. It was a pat on the back while I was still out there drowning.

People kept congratulating me and still my friends, my family, were on the streets dying. Acting like I should be proud to "overcome" while the system still hurts us all. My friends are still dying. Our whole community is grieving all the time. I feel guilty to just be alive.

That's not even touching the start of processing the trauma I experienced while unhoused. They say you don't start to process shit til you're safer and it hit like a tidal wave.

I had never felt like that before getting off the streets. And I wasn't and am still not in stable housing. I can't even imagine what stable housing would look like, let alone how tryna process that would be like. It is such a raw and vulnerable experience to come fresh out of homelessness and then be thrown into a world you've never known.

So many people think JUST housing is the answer when it simply is not. We need supportive services, we need community support, we need to be cared for and looked after. We need places to go for holidays and people to be our emergency contacts. We need financial help and support that money can't buy. We need real love, we need to be held by our community and uplifted to where we all can thrive.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi Raven! I have two theories about diasomnia (I'm trying to keep this short, really– sorry for the rant)

1. What if what Lilia was refering to as "being too reckless during his youth" was actually giving part of his magic so Malleus's egg would hatch?

At first I thought it would be something to do with the war, but after thinking a bit more about it, I thought perhaps it was actually that what drained his magic and life span so much. Like, imagine after Malleus' parents die his grandmother spends years and years trying to give the egg the love and magic it needs to hatch, but it never worked. During that time perhaps Lilia grows more "tender" with the whole situation and ends up giving a good part of his magic, which ends up making the egg hatch, but not having as much magic as a dragon fae it is what takes a toll on him (in this, it could be argued that in this situation there would have been a dragon fae and a other type of fae giving love and magic, such as it would have been with his parents, but maybe it is actually the fact that they weren't the egg's parents what made it take more effort? It would also be similar to how in the Maleficent movie she goes from hating children to her love being the reason the curse is broken)

2. Maleficia(?) Was the one what cursed either Silver or his ancestors

Imagine this. The queen not only lost the war and a good part of her country to her enemies, but also her only daughter and her grandson on the process (at least until many years later). She then hears the news about the princess of the enemies and the Dawn knight(?) Having a child and with all the pain she was going through, she refused to let them be happy. So she appears in a scene similar to the one Maleficent made and curses either Silver (if he himself was their child and somehow the curse kept him sleeping as a newborn baby) or his ancestors (in "a child for a child" sort of way). Either way, years later Silver somehow ends up on Lilia's hands and Maleficia decides that his family's sins aren't his, and it is what remains of the curse what makes him so tired all the time (I think it is more likely that it was his ancestors rather than Silver because otherwise Lilia would know why he is like that and wouldn't have taken him to many doctors as it is mentioned)

Hi hi, no worries ^^ I love hearing theories and general TWST-related rambling!

My thoughts are under the cut for huge main story spoilers!

It's not the first time I've heard theory 1 being talked about or brought up in discussions of book 7 (post-part 4). I'm not sure if I personally agree with it though??? I suspect the story will explain the few hundred years' worth of difference between Malleus's egg existing and hatching, but I'm not sure why Lilia would be the one responsible for bringing his prince into the world. Maybe he felt like it was now his duty to honor the princess he couldn't protect and the duke/best friend who went missing. Maybe he thought looking after their surviving child was the way he could honor their memory and the friendships he had with them. I buy either of those explanations. What I don't buy is why wouldn't Malleus's grandmother's love and magic be enough to hatch him? She's also a Draconia, and therefore is related to Malleus by blood and has all the mighty powers of their bloodline; wouldn't her magic be much more effective than Lilia's to help her grandson hatch (and she's also clearly still alive and seems to be doing alright in present time)? Unless maybe there's some other factors or details we aren't privy to yet that would contest this...?

Regarding theory 2, I think the concept of "an eye for an eye" (or, in this case, "a child for a child") is an interesting one? 🤔 I don't think Silver is directly the son of the Dawn Knight because (as far as we know) there's no magic that can stop someone from aging, and that includes sleeping curses. One danger that is noted by the characters is that if everyone stays under the effects of Malleus's UM for too long, their physical bodies will waste away (which implies that not even slumber can stave off their physical needs that come with the passage of time). Cursing a whole family line in revenge though... Knowing that the Draconias can do frightening things, especially under emotional distress, uhhhh... yeah, that's completely plausible. However, I don't know why Lilia wouldn't be aware of it, seeing as he seems to know Maleficia well and she trusts him with things. Surely he can't be ignorant to it??? I'm not sure if I see Maleficia as being particularly... forgiving either?? We may not know a lot about her personality, but if she's anything like the rest of the Draconias we've been told about, then she may just hold a grudge instead of seeing Silver as an innocent child.

Something else that's interesting is that, at one point, Vil explains how curses work: once the conditions are set, not even the curse spinner can lift it until said conditions are met. I wonder if a sleeping curse was cast on Silver's ancestors where really specific conditions have to be in place for the curse to be dispelled; this would explain why Lilia keeps taking him to doctors/medical mages: he's trying in vain to seek an alternate way to lift the curse. Maybe Lilia knew this whole time that Silver was cursed but couldn't bring himself to speak the truth to his son (especially seeing as Silver has become Malleus's bodyguard and would then have to come to terms with knowing that an ancestor of his killed his prince's mother).

Crazy thought, but what if it's not Maleficia that cursed Silver's bloodline but... Mallenoa (Malleus's mom) who did it??? If we think about it, Lilia has described her to have a temperament and great destructive power. An enraged dragonic princess trying to protect her unborn child from belligerent invaders... It works on a symbollic level too: the humans are ambushing her when she's in a vulnerable position and her child is still "sleeping". So what would she, someone who is reckless and selfish, do with the last of her magic and dying breath?? Maybe... curse the Dawn Knight and his descendants with narcolepsy--narcolepsy that's so bad that it constantly puts them in a vulnerable position... sleeping? Then, because Mallenoa ultimately ends up dying, the original curse spinner is gone from this world. She can't lift the curse because she's dead, which means the only viable way left now is for Silver to fulfill the original conditions for it. (Will a parental "act of true love" do it??? Just like it did in Maleficent?) This, again, would play well with the idea that Lilia is searching for a cure for Silver (and feels a lot of secret guilt over knowing the origin of the curse).

Anyway! That's my rambling done and over with~

[lacedteatime]

"Lazy" is your first and only thought, really?

I've had an issue with this for a while. In the first few days of UA, Aizawa assumed that Izuku was lazy in not training his quirk, and Bakugou assumed that Izuku had been hiding his quirk.

These conclusions are lackluster.

Late bloomers are a fanon thing, so I'll leave that out, but there are multiple other explanations that the other characters could have come to if they were as smart as Horikoshi tried to write them as.

OFA was shown to break Izuku horribly. What parent would let their child use their quirk if it had that effect? Medical costs are low in Japan, but it would build up, and it would leave Izuku with permanent damage (and has, so it is a valid concern). It would have been better writing for Aizawa to have "realized" this. Bakugou canonically wouldn't due to his belief that everything and everyone revolves around him, but... Actually, Aizawa wasn't narratively written as introspective in that arc, just as someone who says a lot of things learned from experience. That isn't a true indicator of forward thinking. So perhaps this whole post is pointless.

Who cares, I'm petty.

Another reason could have been that he saw Ochako about to be crushed by the 0-pointer and had a quirk awakening, causing a minor strength quirk to evolve into a major strength quirk without the protections the body of someone who originally had such a quirk would have. This would be a less likely conclusion to come to, but it would be something a teacher might consider while wondering why a kid with no control of his quirk due to "laziness" would go to such extremes to save someone in a test for no points after not getting any points with that power. This is probably the weakest explanation because of how quirk awakenings seemed to have been thought up by the author well past these arcs, and theytherefore might not have existed in canon before their introduction.

A third reason could just be that the Midoriyas are a law-abiding family. Quirks cannot be used publicly without a license, and using OFA (Superpower to those not in the know) in private would likely destroy their apartment and the ones around it. There isn't really a way around this. The first reason combined with this one would be a very reasonable and responsible explanation for why Izuku might have not touched it outside of its activation.

This becomes a little more complicated when you factor in Bakugou and try to question his reaction, as I am doing. What comes next will likely be pointless due to how Bakugou reacted without thinking in the scenes during Aizawa's and All Night's classes (I use Eraserhead's real name because he teaches as himself instead of his hero persona while All Might teaches as his hero persona).

Once Bakugou calmed down, he could have come to the same conclusions, though he would still think Izuku had been hiding a quirk. However. Inko would know that Izuku could have been pressured into demonstrating his quirk by his peers, thus breaking him and his surroundings. She might have decided to tell Izuku to pretend he was quirkless at school. This information wouldn't be shared with Bakugou.

It would likely not be shared with Bakugou's parents either, as we have no evidence that the two moms were actually friends. That's another bit of fanon. Sure, Mitsuki was protective of Inko the one time they interacted, but who's to say that she wouldn't have been like that with any other person she just met? If they were friends, I feel like that would have been shown to push the "rivalry" message from Horikoshi. Bakugou and Izuku weren't even shown to be that close of friends either -- Bakugou was arguably closer with mini Tsubasa and finger boy.

Anyway! I'm done, I think, but feel free to come up with your own explanations characters could have considered if you want to talk about it!

My next post will be more anti-Bakugou (I know this one doesn't fit the tag too much, but if I don't include it, I might have to interact with stans), whenever that may be, but I've had this stewing for years

[fandom-hoarder]

Grabbing these tags by @deanwinchesterpregnant from this post to expand.

Because yes, this is a very important part! Sam says it, too!

And while there ARE Sam haters that will say "Sam doesn't know how much Dean sacrificed!" and mean it as a JUDGEMENT and omg wooby!Dean; there are also people like me, who started writing s1 Sam POVs to understand him better, and suddenly connected him to my little brother like, 'OH. Sam doesn't KNOW. How COULD he know??😭' and it's not a judgment of his character or his love for Dean! And he's not stupid! They're both just kids who have yet to work through their own shit enough to realize they don't know EVERYTHING about each other, despite their shared history. It's part of why Sam says in In My Time of Dying that they were "just starting to be brothers again."

Obviously it's a necessary part of s1 to give us, the viewer, expositional glimpses into Sam and Dean's inner workings. But the way they each react to certain new revelations about each other are still canon even if there are Doylist reasons.

It's canon that Sam didn't know Dean carried him out of the fire. It's canon that Dean has felt responsible for Sam almost being eaten by a shtriga since he was 9/10 years old, and it's canon that Sam never even knew that happened. It's canon that the memory of Mary was so coveted by Dean and John that Sam has virtually no connection to her; no stories and no echoes of her in the way they live other than the infamous Winchester Surprise.

It's canon that Sam doesn't really have any happy holiday memories, and Dean does. It's canon that their perspective on the same shared holidays is completely different. It's canon that Dean stole Christmas decorations and presents for Sam and apparently none for himself. And it's canon that Sam realized Dean did that for him and gave him his only present. And it's canon that remembering that made grown-up Sam want to give Dean Christmas even though it meant admitting something hurtful to himself. (John not showing up for Christmas/Dean's last Christmas)

If you put yourself in Sam's shoes--- a kid left alone for most of his formative years; unable to put down roots and make friends; whose best friend, the only one who could even try to understand him, is his good little soldier brother--- it's easier to understand why Sam felt lonely and became a much more introspective person. Because he was literally stuck with just his thoughts and anxieties and the TV for days at a time. When you think about how sick he must've been about it, every time Dean and John would leave. Waiting for that next phone call. Biting his fingernails when the call was late. Wanting to be invited to prove yourself, but also because if you're THERE at least you KNOW what happens.

But then, too, if you can put yourself in Dean's place: it's not necessarily something a kid or young adult can fully appreciate--- especially a somewhat emotionally immature young adult--- that their little sibling is a completely autonomous person with their own inner life. They don't just pause when you leave their sight. Dean throws himself into the hunt, and isn't thinking about how much Sam is worrying about them. He's thinking, "Sam is safe, so I can focus on backing Dad up."

It sounds selfish, but it's simply a fact of the maturing brain that it takes some time to comprehend someone else's existence outside of you as a real thing and not just a vague concept.

So, to touch on another aspect that gets discoursed:

There ARE a lot of things about Dean's parentification that Sam doesn't know at first, but he has always known about it to SOME degree. He had his own perspective on it, and for sure I wouldn't say that Sam thought of Dean as his parent. Dean has definitely always been his older and somewhat overbearing big brother. But who do you think Sam took his problems to? Who threatens to rip his bully's lungs out in After School Special? Who remembers what fucking play Sam did in drama?

And a short related aside--- thinking about how Sam was surprised about the things of his John had in storage. His surprise that John kept an eye on him at Stanford. And relating these things that changed Sam's understanding of his father, to the way his understanding of Dean shifted with each revelation of what Dean had done for him. And despite everything Sam ALREADY knew, his adult brain and life experiences gave him new perspective on things.

This maybe is a little rambley, but oh well. What was I saying...

Oh yeah. So sometimes people get upset about Dean being given like. More praise than he deserves or something, by having those "you practically raised me" lines and things. As if it's a retcon. But it's really not.

It's Sam growing up, and his brain constantly taking in new information and reshaping his understanding. It's Sam seeing how much Dean blames himself for things that weren't his fault, and wanting Dean to see the good he's done. It's Sam being able to see Dean's heart underneath his codependent or selfish decisions, and reaching out. It's Sam trying to remind Dean he can lean on Sam, too.

I've gone off on a tangent and made myself tear up lol. I don't remember where I wanted to end up anymore. Somewhere in the ether there's another rant about how Dean has a harder time allowing himself the introspection on his perception of Sam, and how this leads to Sam having to do a lot of the leading on the emotional maturity of their relationship, and how hard this is when the person you're leading still sees you as their kid, in whatever capacity.

But ultimately, of COURSE Sam does as much for Dean. Of course Sam has agency in this and isn't Dean's baby that had a pampered childhood vs Dean's horrible one. Sam and Dean acknowledging the actual circumstances of their childhood dynamic doesn't have to be a Samgirls vs Deangirls fucking situation lol.

[dykeulous]

I have read through your posts; and I have read a few times the following sentiment- "Trans women still enjoy male privilege" or something along the lines of this.

In an effort to understand this; I find myself thinking about various, similar radical feminist sentiments. One I found particularly interesting - that I will paraphrase - a woman talks about how her trans woman friend is really into guitar. She laments, this is an example of male socialization- that he can just get into guitar. She laments that she as a growing girl did not want to pursue the guitar out of fear that she wouldn't be good at it, and that all women are raised with a similar mentality- she laments that in this way her friend will never be a "woman" in the same way she is. She wouldn't have pursued the guitar if she was raised as a woman, and likewise would be an entirely different person.

In your opinion, is the male privilege trans woman hold created by male socialization and upbringing? Do you think a fully passing trans woman has male privilege at all, if so, how? Without any further analysis, my natural conclusion would be that trans women should suffer from being incapable of performing as men.

hello, thank you for reaching out and sending me this interesting question, one that i would like to engage with & answer.

the scenario you have described can be a very good example. sure, there are women out there who play guitar, yes (in fact, my parents wanted me to play guitar– but i did not want to, because i feared it would reflect badly on my academics which i wanted to focus on)– but the point here (from what i can see, at least) is not about the trans woman playing guitar, it is about her friend, who felt discouraged from playing guitar, fearing she wouldn’t be good at it. i wouldn’t exactly say the trans woman in this scenario is highly privileged or advantaged per se, but i can see how her friend might think so, and i can see how the female upbringing of her friend might be an important factor as to why she herself felt discouraged from pursuing such a career. she might’ve been told by her surroundings, “this is no career for a woman”– triggering such a response in her, building a deep sense of self-consciousness produced simply by the type of female socialization she’s underwent in her formative years. yes, female socialization in fact can take a hold on someone’s personality & affect it in very significant ways– this is largely why women are assumed to be more empathetic, gentle, nurturing; it is a nature versus nurture factor, it has nothing to do with female biology. female socialization limits women’s lives in numerous ways, and some women might in fact give up on their biggest childhood dreams, exactly because of how they were conditioned. female socialization teaches girls to hate their own bodies, to view their own abilities & capabilities as inferior– which can very much affect what careers they later pursuit– this is why “pink collar” jobs exist– women are taught that their field of speciality lays in caring for others, and putting their own needs at bay.

does this mean that the trans woman in this scenario would, therefore, automatically not pursuit her chosen career, had she been raised as a woman? we cannot talk about the what ifs, because she was not raised as a woman– but we do know that women, throughout history, absolutely have gone to fascinating lengths at tearing down societal norms & thus directly confronting their female socialization. female history is long, beautiful & something to be glorified– despite the fact that the majority of it is not tracked & that we have limited access to it, exactly because of the patriarchy & the way it operates as a hierarchical system; acting like women are fate-bound to their oppression is nihilistic, and does nothing good for feminism ultimately. if we use the theory of gendered socialization to imply that women are never going to make it out of the patriarchy, or that it is our decided fate to be oppressed forever, we are engaging in biological essentialism & biological determinism, despite using the feminist theory that goes directly against it. female socialization is not synonymous with female nature– quite the opposite. female socialization rigorously punishes women & girls for going against it & thus showing that their learned behaviors are, in fact, learned, and not innate to them. therefore, i do not believe that simply using the theory of gendered socialization is a valid enough merit for deciding who is a woman, and who is not. other factors should also be considered– there are women who did not undergo female socialization (at least not to the fullest extent of it– female & male socializations aren’t clear binaries without any nuance– they were coined to provide a brief understanding of how the differences between female & male people aren’t biologically fixated & are rather sociologically influenced, not as perfect distinctions that can never ever intersect or have nuance to them)– such as detrans women who were allowed to socially transition at a young age & were perceived as male to their peers, or intersex women who found their condition out at a later age, and many other women with admittedly rare situations, but however rare they may be– their situations & lives are worthy of being considered. being able to see that a detrans woman who transitioned at an early age has had a significantly different childhood experience from other women, also means being able to see that a trans woman has had a significantly different childhood experience from cis men.

“trans women have male privilege” is a blank statement, is not further analyzed, expanded on, nor is there any nuance in it. yes, i have said this exact sentence quite a few times on this blog, but i never said it in a way meant to do harm, and i never said it as a blank statement. i believe that, yes, even fully passing & transitioned, stealth trans women will have access to varying forms of male privilege– they will experience social & economic misogyny, but they will never experience the fullest extent of medical misogyny (they will, however, experience medical transphobia, which can be as deathly & as dangerous as medical misogyny, and it often is), nor will they experience religious misogyny– and, of course, the majority of them were undoubtedly socialized male. however, just because they have access to varying forms of male privilege, does not mean their struggles aren’t real, or that they don’t experience legitimate & tangible discrimination, persecution, and oppression. trans people are at great risks of prostitution & homelessness, in general, and this oppression can be detrimental to fully stealth & passing trans women. black trans women are especially vulnerable, being at horrifying risk of violence. denying that transphobia is a real & dangerous form of oppression is not productive. we also generally know that same-sex attracted trans women are especially vulnerable when in a relationship & if they are outed as trans, and while yes, it is every trans person’s responsibility to tell their intimate partner they are trans– excusing & justifying male violence against trans people is inherently an anti-feminist act. trans women might be privileged in some ways when compared to cis women & trans men, but stating this as a blank statement blocks the need for nuance & the need for intersectionality. even the most trans women-exclusionary feminist can see that the experiences of a middle-class white trans-identified non-dysphoric male person who lives in the west, are significantly different from the experiences of a heavily dysphoric lower-class/proletarian trans woman of color– regardless of her passing (and, of course, she is more vulnerable if she does pass). even if a trans woman does not pass & does not face sexism– she is still likely to experience homophobia & gncphobia– both forms of bigotry directly tied to the oppression of women. even if you do exclude trans women from your feminism, ignoring the fact that transphobia is a real axis of oppression will do nothing to help our movement. a trans woman might be privileged in some ways, but that does not mean that a non-trans woman immediately holds no privilege over said trans woman. a perfectly gender conforming, heterosexual middle-class white girl will hold tangible privileges over a gender non-conforming homosexual dysphoric boy of color (regardless of if he later identifies as trans or not) who most likely suffers homophobia at school & at home. intersectionality is always important, and if you can acknowledge that oppression isn’t based on identity– you can also acknowledge that dysphoria is agonizing & that although a trans woman might not explicitly face sexism/and or female socialization– the way she experiences male socialization will be different, and it might marginalize her uniquely, just how female socialization marginalizes us.

[pinchinschlimbah]

Continuing from my previous post let's talk about the queercoding and themes in Dick Turpin episode 3! So first off, I had previously said I was hoping we'd get to hear more about Honesty's backstory since I was having a hard time identifying what his deal was, and I was delighted to find out this episode that the reason he needed less help finding himself than the other two is because he's got parents who are actively and enthusiastically supportive of his- and I use this phrase very intentionally- alternative lifestyle :)

In direct foil to this, the other main theme of the episode is Wilde's relationship with both himself and his son. Wilde is so caught up in the old fashioned, violent, and oppressive life path he's gone down that he views it as the only path and that anything less is failure. He prides himself in this toxic masculinity, and in the exchange Wilde and Dick have about it, Dick notes that Wilde seems insecure explicitly about not being the "big boss" in charge, and possibly implicitly (unbeknownst to Dick thus far) that Wilde's boss is a woman who has power over him. Just as we saw with Dick and his father in the first episode, Wilde seems to be resentful and embarrassed of his son for not living up to his expectations of what a man should be- he expresses frustration and dismissal towards Christopher for being too soft and not the violent criminal mastermind Wilde wishes his son to be, but also expresses that he feels Christopher is too fragile to be exposed to the world without his father's protection and therefore shouldn't be given the chance to have his own experiences. In response to Wilde explaining that he expects Christoper to follow in his tough guy crime boss footsteps, Dick remarks "what if he wants to be an artist....or a barista...or an artist who works as a barista" which you cannot tell me isn't deliberate queercoding!!

In the later conversation between Dick and Wilde, Dick tries to find common ground between them as they each list their interests and we're shown the divide between staunch seriousness and compassionate enjoyment, toxic masculinity vs joyful flamboyancy. During the eventual moment of vulnerability from Wilde, he admits that he feels like the joyful parts of him have been drained away by the society he exists in, and only the serious and evil parts are left over. Dick, who by his own self-confidence and unabashed authenticity has clearly evaded this same fate despite seemingly experiencing a similarly conservative upbringing, remarks that that's a really bleak way of existing, and encourages Wilde to spend more time with his son and enjoy the world around him. Wilde, to his credit, does actually work toward following this advice! Meanwhile, Christopher (or as Nell calls him, which feels significant to all of this in that so much of Noel's work casually has no regard for traditional perception of gender, "Jennifer") once left to his own devices ends up bonding with the gang and admits that he himself wants to be a highwayman. He becomes particularly attached to Moose, arguably the most queer-coded (and I wouldn't be surprised if it becomes more explicitly stated later in the show given how he's been portrayed so far) character in the show- arriving in London twirling in his dress and being excited about dancing, flamboyant hats, and the theatre. After Christopher gets to spend a day with someone who encourages his flamboyance and sense of joy and fun rather than expecting him to be someone he's not, Christopher seems changed for the better and more sure of himself, and once he's reunited with his father who has been on his own journey of learning this lesson, the episode ends with the indication of them moving forward together towards a more compassionate, accepting, and happier future. Anywayyyy, I love this silly little show so goddamn much already. Stay tuned for probably more in the coming weeks!

Editor’s note: I just realized I forgot to address that Dick’s first choice of disguise was a female character and that the fight club leader reacts to her as a pretty lady but also like….do I even need to point that out? Standard par for the course for a Noel media hahaha

[celestemagnoliathewriter]

I don't remember if you've talked about this before, but what are your thoughts about (inhales) Cursed Child?

OOOF. Okay. Thoughts on Cursed Child (bear in mind I've read it (a while ago) but never seen any live production of it). I'll split this response into likes, dislikes, and je ne sais quoi:

Likes:

Scorpius Malfoy is as cute as a button.

I do love me some Slytherin Albus Severus.

Time Turner magic being able to do more than go back a few hours. That's been very useful for my fanfic fun.

Delphini as Bellamort's child. I see Voldemort wanting a child not for his own sake but more as having another tool in his arsenal. I can see Delphi being a reward for Bella, who hasn't had children, but ultimately with the strings attached of "you both will do my bidding."

Strained parent-child relationships. No parent is perfect and sometimes they say stupid things, even Harry.

Dislikes:

Parents say stupid things but I think Harry would never go so far as to wish Albus wasn't his son.

Draco seems too soft and cuddly. I feel he'd be softer in his older age, sure, but he's still Draco Malfoy. He's not going to be joking around with Muggleborns and pooping rainbows.

Delphini as Bellamort's child. In theory I like her existence but in practice I have so many questions about what she would turn out to be like. I don't love the way she comes off in the play. I can't put my finger on it. I just don't like it.

Requited or unrequited Scorbus? Scorose? I mean for angst fun it's nice to have Albus be in love with his BFF and Scorpius be in love with someone else but IDK I feel like Albus deserves to find his own happiness somehow. Maybe there's a Gellert Jr somewhere.

Je ne sais quoi:

It reads like fan fiction, which is fine, because I like fan fiction. It's supposed to be canon, but that leaves more questions than answers.

Albus watching his grandparents get murdered: kid's going to need therapy forever.

Severus is super wise and Dumbledore-like? Uh. Uh huh. Okay. Sure. Sure.

IDK I wanted more Remus and Tonks and Sirius. More Teddy too. Give me all my favorites.

Time turner magic makes my brain hurt.

I'm torn on Scorose and Scorbus. I really like Draco and Ron as in laws.

So in short . . . it's aggressively okay. I don't hate it the way I hate some things, I don't love it, and I certainly wouldn't pay to see it live. I'd go if someone else bought the ticket and asked me to come, but it's not something I'd go out of my way for.

I hope that answers your ask!

[polygonal-trees]

There's something about EarthSpark that's been on my mind for a while.

Anyone who's experienced any amount of children's fiction has probably noticed that parents tend to be conveniently absent.

Either they're dead, missing, always at work, outright neglectful or just otherwise inexplicably missing. And even when the parents are present, they very rarely have an active role. This applies mostly to adventure stories but occurs in all genres.

There is a reason for this! Sometimes it's to drive the plot (like maybe the children have made a vow their mother will be found or smth) but the most common reason, in almost all stories, is that good, attentive parents are boring. They are boring, sensible, rule-setting, ruiners of fun. Ash Ketchum and his mouse can't fight a primordial demigod if his mother is around to tell him it's too dangerous. It just doesn't work.

One of the first things I was told in the first children's writing class I took was, to paraphrase: "do not have an adult show up and fix everything. It's boring and children hate it." Children love to believe that they are much more capable than they actually are, they want to feel brave and independent, and a good parent actively ruins that.

Usually, even if there is a guardian, it's a Fun Guardian - someone like an aunt, an older brother or a teacher who lets the kids get away with things a parent wouldn't. Them not being the characters' actual parent lowers the amount of responsibility the audience expects them to have.

And when there are 'fun parents' who allow their children to do dangerous things... well, except for a few very specific circumstances, it just comes off as willful neglect and endangerment. I'm actually struggling to think of any examples that are played straight, though, because it's so rare.

Obviously there are some stories where the parents are both good and present, but those stories are usually very low stakes. The Berenstain Bears never entered any illegal off-road races, for example.

Transformers has had relatively active parent characters in the past, e.g. June Darby and Charlie Burns, but the children's adventures still usually hinge on them not being around. They definitely care about their kids, but they still kind of toe the line of negligence imo. And of course Ralph's and Miko's parents barely exist at all.

But then there's EarthSpark.

Obviously I haven't read every children's book or seen every children's show, but right from the start Alex's and Dot's roles struck me as very unusual.

They're involved in everything! And they know about almost everything too. There are what, three or four episodes where they don't know what their kids are up to? And in another break from tradition, they get to be actual characters as well, with their own personalities, interests and relationships.

I really Alex and Dot. I think they're fun, fitting, and I like seeing a fresh take on the role of parents in children's fiction.

But I also think their portrayal has created a rather awkward situation for EarthSpark.

EarthSpark wants Alex and Dot to be good parents, who are involved in their children's lives and care about their safety... and it also wants the kids to have high stakes adventures, with explosions and sword fights. And these two things aren't really compatible.

Because Alex and Dot are good parents who are actively trying to protect their kids, they show genuine worry and distress, and it ends up really highlighting how dangerous the children's adventures actually are. It really alters the tone of the show.

Miss Frizzle can take her elementary class inside an active volcano and say, "it's fine!" because she is a Fun Guardian - she's not like the other teachers! She doesn't care about risk assessments! - and that's a large part of what sets the tone. We aren't worried because she isn't worried. The magma isn't dangerous because she says it isn't dangerous. We can suspend our disbelief.

Mo using a magic sword to fight a villain in the astral plane is just as fanciful (in my opinion). But when Dot starts calling out in fear while watching helplessly from the sidelines, we the viewers think - oh shit. This isn't a fun adventure at all. Mo is in real, physical danger. That's bad. And our suspended disbelief comes crashing down.

In my opinion, nothing that's happened so far in EarthSpark is more extreme than anything that's happened in children's fiction before. It doesn't even hold a candle to stuff like Goosebumps. But I think Alex and Dot's roles plays a huge part in making us realise how dangerous the events and how high the stakes actually are. There are other factors of course - like EarthSpark doesn't really do cartoon violence, everything has fairly realistic consequences that you don't often see in cartoons - but Alex and Dot play a significant part.

I think EarthSpark goes to show why parents are so often absent from children's fiction - they are almost completely antithetical to the adventure stories children want. I think this is best displayed during the big seeker battle, where Alex and Dot have to carry Mo and Robbie to safety. In another show, the kids would save themselves. In EarthSpark, the fact that they don't and can't, and need their parents to save them, removes the independence and agency that's such a staple of children's adventure.

This isn't really a critique, it's more of an observation. I've enjoyed EarthSpark so far - I like that's it's trying something new, I like that the high stakes actually feel high, I like that the parents are actual characters, I like that it has a more realistic and grounded tone - but I am curious to see how Alex and Dot will be handled going forward. There's a very difficult balance needed here and I don't think EarthSpark has struck it yet.

[ao3cassandraic]

Firstly, can I say thank you for all your GO meta. I've spent much of my insomnia soaked night reading through your musings and the replies, and almost all of what I've read makes so much sense to me.

There is a question, honestly, but first..

I read GO when it first came out, and have probably been an avid Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman fan for longer than many fans have been alive. Loved the book, adored the first series, found myself completely floored by S2. The last 15 is probably. - no that's wrong, Definitely - the most beautiful, tragic, heart wrenching scene I've ever encountered. Realising what just broke you was played out by two middle aged, straight actors but all you've seen are two beings whose universe is each other and who are being ripped apart by what they are feeling. I don't have the words, I really don't. Sublime acting & writing.

My response surprised me, I couldn't let it go and I worried at it like a (small, red eyed) dog with a bone. Then I found Tumblr and realised I was far from alone. I've read all the theories and a fair bit of fan fiction (re Michael Sheen, "I love that the fans write their own stories, even if most of them involve David & I having sex"). Some of the POV resonate some don't. Yours do much more than most.

After all that, mine isn't a huge question, it's just a niggle I have. Maggie. Something doesn't feel right there and I wondered if she had set anything off on your radar? Given that NOTHING is accidental in a Gaiman story..

Maggie can't spell and it was highlighted. UGRENCY. (T.O.S.T.E, and Angle anyone) Maggie doesn't eat, though she loves a skinny latte, and doesn't drink alcohol. Claims the record shop is failing, but sends a pub in Edinburgh music for their jukebox? She was never a teenager, and whilst claiming to be tired of being scared is completely fearless. Won't leave Az on his own, is unfazed by demons and doesn't question what Cr & Az are, unlike Nina.

I'm not sure where I'm going with it, but something is off and I wondered if you had any thoughts?

Ok, enough, I'll stop rambling and step out of your questions now. Thank you for bearing with me if you made it this far.

First I just want to acknowledge and validate your adoration for Good Omens! This fandom exists For Reasons! Cheers, and thank you for your ask.

I've seen other folks wondering what you're wondering about Maggie; you're definitely not alone. For the little it's worth, I don't actually think she's ethereal or occult. I think she's a human being with some quirks. (I also can't agree with "doesn't eat" -- we don't see her eat, and she doesn't accept Aziraphale's offer of an Eccles cake, but the former is likely happenstance and the latter, well, I wouldn't accept an Eccles cake either if I had just taken such a giant monetary gift from someone. It's just too much; I'd feel that I was taking advantage and not being properly grateful.)

I actually don't drink alcohol, and I assure you I'm fully 100% no-question-about-it human. (Though there are those who would say I'm more than slightly demonic.) I had an alcoholic parent, which shaped my young life in some not-amazing ways, and I never understood how they got to be that way, so I decided to stay safe and just... not try drinking.

When I got older and more confident in my ability to steer clear of alcoholism, I tried a bit of wine and a bit of brandy and a bit of other thises and thats and discovered that I plain old didn't like them! So I drink non-alcoholic cocktails (I love this fashion! N/A cocktails can be creative and tasty!) and locally-made sodas and if that makes me weird, okay, I'm weird. It doesn't make me an angel. Doesn't even make me a "better" (whatever that is) person -- it's morally neutral. It just is.

(I'm not a skinny-latte person, though, in case you were wondering whether I'm Maggie. Chai is my coffeeshop preference.)

A thematic reason I think Maggie is human has to do with an extension of the Good Omens axiom that Heaven and Hell are just names for sides. Demons, angels, a vulnerability or a trick more or less and other than that they're basically the same. I want to believe that in the GOverse, that's true of humans too -- we have more in common with angels and demons than anyone cares to admit, despite the difference in lifespan and our superior inventiveness. Possibly including quirkiness!

I want this to be true because it means Crowley and Aziraphale needn't be lonely together on Earth even if Heaven and Hell do finally chuck them out for good. I want this to be true because it adds some intriguing resonance to a Second Coming of Jesus story. I want it to be true because I want Good Omens to keep saying go-be-properly-good to humanity.

I could be wrong, of course. I've had several of my headcanons contradicted by Word of Gaiman already, barely a month after s2 came out. I'm sure more will go the way of the dodo, and there are a few things I've said that I don't actually believe any more myself.

But I want Maggie to be human because I like her. I like her shy awkward approach to Nina. I like her willingness to explain How To Human When You're Crying to Aziraphale without shaming him for not knowing. I like her loyalty to her benefactor, which she doesn't trumpet but which is brave as all get-out when the demons show up. I like her flipping the bird at the demons, creatively defending the bookshop, standing up to Shax, giving Nina space to work things out.

Sometimes we humans are okay, you know?