#as someone who did figure skating for most of my youth

[keicordelle]

I think Childe would be a good skater. As a born and bred Canadian who learned to skate before learning to run, I can only assume the icy landscape of Snezhnaya would be the perfect place for that in Teyvat. And that grace on the battlefield would surely translate beautifully to the ice. The twirls. The jumps. (The cute little outfits.)

But also, hear me out. Hockey player Childe. Just. Picture it for a moment

[kaigarax]

"Anyways, I'm Falling In Love With You."

Sabito x Reader

Quote: "Fall in love by overcoming your preconceived notions of someone."

My Dearest,

I don’t do well in cold temperatures and I get sick easily. But I love autumn, even if this marks the end of another year of you being gone. Another autumn without you.

Yours Truly

---

Sabito was surprised when he heard the familiar sound of steel on ice when he entered the rink.

Of course, it was obvious that you would hear the sound of skates in an ice rink but this late at night? It wasn’t usual. Especially because the season for skaters had just started. Most skaters (hockey, figure and speed alike) only made it to the rink during the necessary practice times and gradually ramped it up as the season progressed. So to hear the sound of someone upon the ice this late at night was a pleasant surprise.

Sabito himself had been forced to head back to the rink after forgetting his bag. He usually would have left it but he’d forgotten his phone charger in the bag and wasn’t in the mood to play chicken with his phone’s battery.

So, after grabbing his bag, Sabito slowly made his way to the rink curious to see who was eager enough to find themselves on the ice this early into the season. While he did want to head home and soak in a nice long bath his curiosity won over. Besides, it wasn’t like he’d miss out on much soaking if he was to peek his head into the rink and see who was there.

It could have been a hockey player for all he knew, trying to get some shots up after a shabby practice. Or maybe one of the speed skaters trying to break in a new pair of skates for the season.

It wasn’t.

Sabito wasn’t sure if he was surprised or not to see you on the ice.

You were one of the newer skaters to the scene, seemingly taking the world by storm two years ago. From what Sabito had heard, you’d originally only come in as a replacement skater partner for one of the skaters that had gotten injured and surprised everyone by stealing the gold with your youthful charm and ultimately the starter position. Every tournament after that was an exciting opportunity to see how you’d one up yourself.

It was a shame that your partner would have to retire after only skating with you for a year and a half.

Well, it was a shame for you.

You kind of remind Sabito of a young child as he watches you skate. Filled with so much innocence and passion as you take to the ice.

Sabito, up to this point, hasn’t actually watched you skate. Of course he’s seen you skate through brief glances and highlights that they occasionally play on the television but he’s never actually stopped and waited to watch you skate before like he’s doing right now. Your movements are more fluid than he thought they were and the way you build up to your jumps is a little unorthodox but it seems to work as you soar through the air and spin.

A figure skater through and through.

“Oh, Sabito!” You jump slightly when you spot him leaning against the wall near the edge of the ice, watching you, “I didn’t notice. How long have you been there?”

Sabito feels a smile tug at the corner of his lips as he watches you skate towards him with a polite smile, “not long.”

Your cheeks flush, though from Sabito’s gaze or the cool air of the rink Sabito isn’t all too sure, “oh, do you want to skate?”

“Oh, no.” Sabito briefly looks down to the skates in his bag, “I just came back because I forgot my bag when I left earlier. I wasn’t expecting for anyone other than the janitor and security to be here.”

“The janitor crew usually finishes up around eight forty five.”

“And you’re still here?”

“Yeah.”

“Even after the coach told you to head home and to let your muscles rest?”

“You won’t snitch on me, will you? Coach said that I’ll be banned from late evening practice if she catches me skating late at night again.”

Your words bring a chuckle to Sabito’s lips, “and yet you’re still here?” From the fact that you’re here often enough to know when the janitorial staff usually finish up to the momentary panic you get when you discuss not being able to skate is more than enough for Sabito to tell how passionate you are about your profession.

You sheepishly scratch the back of your neck in response, “coach has a date tonight and the security staff and janitor crew like me enough to not tell coach.”

Sabito grins teasingly, “I suppose I won’t tell the coach.”

“Oh, thank goodness!” You smile brightly in response, “I’d be devastated if I got banned from practices again.”

“You love figure skating that much?” Sabito asks, a brow raised.

“Mm,” you give a little twirl as you ponder softly, “something like that.”

“I’m jealous.”

“Jealous?” You skate towards the railing separating the two of you lean against it, “why would you be jealous? We’re basically in the same position.”

Sabito finds your naive attitude strangely endearing, “there’s not many people that have as much as a passion for skating as you do. It’s honestly admirable.”

“Thank you,” you blush brightly looking away with an embarrassed smile on your face, “so are you planning to stay for a little while longer?”

“Well, I was planning on going home but I won’t mind staying a little longer.”

“Really?” You beam, “would you want to skate with me? There’s a few moves that I want to find out and I can’t really do them without a partner. I mean, you don’t have to skate with me if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to feel like I’m forcing you or anything but I would definitely be eternally grateful to you.”

Sabito feels as though his heart’s stopped as look at him eagerly, “you want me to skate with you?”

“Definitely! I watched you and your partner last year! The two of you were so in sync with one another! I could definitely feel the chemistry everytime you two took to the ice together. And the way you hold her so gently really goes to show how much the two of you trust one another while on the ice.” You blush as if suddenly realising what you’ve said.

Sabito’s own cheeks are flushed bright red as he stares at you.

He’d always thought you were a bit full of yourself if not a little aloof and standoffish when you talked to other figure skaters. But now, looking at you gushing and beaming over the simplest of things, Sabito feels as if his initial judgements might’ve been too harsh. Right now, you seem more like a playful and excitable girl that’s in love with figure skating instead of the stuck up prodigy that he’s pegged you to be up until now.

“Alright,” Sabito sighs as he takes a seat and begins to lace up his skates despite all of his muscles screaming for him to take a break, “I’ll skate with you.”

“Really!”

“But only for a bit.”

“Sounds good to me.” You say before skating off in excitement.

You twirl around on the ice in excitement that has Sabito chuckling slightly in amusement. He doubts he’s ever seen anyone as excited to skate as you.

How had he gotten such an impression of you in the first place? Sabito finds himself feeling a little bad for how bad he had thought of you before with most of his opinions and thoughts coming from what he had heard others say about you. It didn’t help that the impression you gave off to others was more rude and arrogant than the socially awkward person that Sabito saw you as now.

Slowly, after some brief stretching, Sabito steps out onto the ice, his skates fully laced up and his jacket left tossed on the ground.

You skate towards Sabito smoothly when you notice him, reminding him more of an eager puppy.

It’s cute.

You’re cute.

“What’re you thinking about trying out?” Sabito asks.

“Hmm, nothing too difficult. Maybe we could try out a few side by side jumps and…” you trail off.

“And?”

“A death spiral?”

Sabito laughs, “a death spiral? I thought you said you wanted to do something easy.”

“Okay, you’re right.” You blush brightly, “that was stupid. But we can try some side by side jumps, right?”

“Sure,” Sabito smiles softly, “let’s try it out.”

“I’m surprised you decided to skate with me.” You say, skating backwards as Sabito begins to find his bearings. He skates forward as he begins his usual warmups. Sabito finds it a little annoying how easy you make it seem as you traverse the rink as if it’s your second home but pushes his annoyance away. It’s not a feeling befitting of a man. Or just any person in general.

Sabito laughs, “what kind of man would I be if I were to deny a request from a young woman in need?”

You hum contemplatively, “I didn’t think you’d liked me very much.”

Sabito’s expression falters for a moment.

You weren’t exactly wrong.

He, truthfully, wasn’t your biggest fan. Not just had you come out of nowhere but you were three years his junior in terms of skating and a few more younger than him in age. It was honestly a little infuriating how someone so young and green could suddenly come up and win something he had been trying to win for ages.

Not only had Sabito taken silver in the doubles skating competition the year you won gold but his partner had subsequently chosen to retire after watching you skate. Sure, she was a few years past her prime but it was honestly a little infuriating that all those chemistry bonding practices had gone to waste. Now Sabito was left struggling to find someone to partner up with him in time for them to both develop chemistry and a good routine.

“I…” Sabito trails off.

You laugh softly, as you continue to skate backwards, “right on the money, huh?”

“You’re different.” Sabito says suddenly.

“Hm?” You tilt your head to the side cutely, “I’m different?”

“You’re different from when you’re on the ice to when you’re not.”

“Oh. Thank you?”

“You’re kind of like a child trying to impress their crush when you’re on the ice.”

You blush brightly in response, almost stumbling over yourself, “pardon?”

“You’re a lot brighter while on the ice. You command a lot more attention and have a larger presence in general.”

“A larger presence?”

“Um,” Sabito feels his cheeks heat up, “I guess it’s kind of like you shine while skating.”

“Thank you,” you smile brightly, “you’re the second person to have told me that.”

His treacherous heart skips a beat at your smile and he hopes you don’t notice the sweat in his hands as he gives you a nice and simple twirl.

The touch between the two of you feels almost electric and the movements come so nice and easily. Sabito wonders if this is how skating with another person is supposed to feel. He’s skated with many other people but nothing has ever felt quite like this. He suddenly finds himself understanding why the skating world seems so enamoured with you. Not just does everything feel suddenly easier but Sabito feels as though the world is at his fingertips.

“So,” Sabito begins, feeling butterflies begin to rouse in his stomach, “how has finding a new figure skating partner been?”

“Oh,” you look down to the ice, your face flushed red slightly, “it’s been going. How has it been going for you? You recently just got partnered up with…”

“We tried a few practices together,” Sabito begins, “but it ended up not working out very well.”

“No?”

“Yeah. We just didn’t really have a lot of chemistry with each other.”

You smile, “well I’m sure you’ll find someone that meshes well with you.”

Sabito twirls you around before pulling you close, “yeah.”

You look up at him surprised at his sudden movements.

“Have I ever told you that I think you’re pretty?” Sabito asks suddenly as he leans in close.

“Ah, no,” you look away with flushed cheeks and this time he’s sure isn’t because of the cold or you bring out of breath, “I don’t think so.”

“Well you are.”

“You’re pretty too.”

Sabito laughs, “ah, thank you~”

---

After an hour of skating with you Sabito relearns why it’s so important for athletes to take breaks. He most definitely is going to be sore beyond belief tomorrow morning. Despite only doing simple exercises you really managed to push him to the max with how you challenged him to increase the velocity or his turns to the frequency in which he completed his jumps.

He could definitely see why it was so hard for you to find someone to partner up with.

Despite being well intentioned you had the tendency to push people past their limits. And with how bright eyed you were, it made it difficult to say no. Not that Sabito would ever say no. He wouldn’t be able to call himself a man if he backed down from a challenge.

But his body would definitely be screaming at him later.

But how could he have known that he’d end up delaying his cool bath by an hour?

You, on the other hand, looked like you could keep skating forever. Not physically, of course, but even then Sabito suspected if anyone could it would have been you.

“So,” Sabito leaned against the wall, watching as you slowly unlaced your skates (having already unlaced his own a few minutes earlier), “do you want to grab a bite to eat with me?” Your lack of an immediate response caused Sabito to second guess himself, suddenly feeling embarrassed as he watched you slowly unlace your skates. Sabito begins to ramble in hopes of making himself look like less of a fool, “I mean, you definitely don't have to if you don’t want to. I totally get it. There’s not a lot of places open right now and it’s not like we’re that close anyways. I could end up being a total weirdo. Not that I am a weirdo of course it’s just that-”

You cut him off with a small laugh, “don’t worry. I don’t think you’re a weirdo, I was just a little lost in my own thoughts. I’d love to go out to eat. What did you have in mind?”

“Well there’s the bar down the street that serves food if you’re up for it. Or there’s truck food if you’re up for it. I know that truck food isn’t actually good for your diet but…”

“Take me wherever you’d like.” You smile in a way that makes Sabito’s heart start to race, “I’m not a picky eater. You should pick the place we go out since you’re the one that agreed to skate with me despite being sore.”

“You noticed?”

You tilt your head to the side, “don’t most people?”

“No,” Sabito laughs heartily, “definitely not. Just you, sweetheart.”

You blush brightly in response, “is it weird?”

“No. I actually find it rather endearing.”

You visibly brighten at his words.

“It’s pretty neat that you notice those kinds of things about the person you’re skating with. I’m sure whoever your skating partner ends up being will be a very lucky person. You’re a gold medalist afterall” Sabito added, nudging you playfully as you sling your bag over your shoulder.

“I’m sure whoever your partner ends up being will be really lucky too!” You say, “you’re a… silver medalist?”

“Wow.” Sabito says dryly, a smile on his face, “way to rub it in.”

“Oh goodness, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean anything by it! I really do think you’re an incredible skater!”

“I’m only teasing, sweetheart.”

“Oh.”

Sabito nudges you lightly again before opening the door to the building and letting you out before him, “so do you have early morning practice tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” you nod, “you?”

“Mhm. Do you wanna partner up with me tomorrow?”

“Really?” You practically bounce in excitement, “you want to partner up with me?”

“Well it’s certainly worth a try, right? We did well today so I don’t see any harm in seeing how we mesh tomorrow.”

“You won’t tell the coach about tonight though, right?”

“Don’t worry your pretty little head off, sweetheart. I won’t.”

“Oh, thank goodness! The last thing I need to do is be banned from the ice again.”

“The season just began.”

“Well you never know,” you begin, “last time it was nearing competition time when the coach banned me from the night hours on the ice because I wanted to switch up the ending of the routine.”

“I mean, that’s kind of reasonable.”

You pout, “you’re supposed to be on my side, Sabito.”

“I am,” he chuckles, “I just also happen to see reason.”

“I’m reasonable.”

“Whatever you say, sweetheart. Whatever you say.”

“I am!” You exclaim, crossing your arms like an angry child.

“Anyways,” Sabito smiles warmly, “I’m falling in love with you.”

Fall in love by overcoming your preconceived notions of someone.

---

Her: Are you sure you love me?

[holdmecloser-gandydancer]

“theme park employees...one wears a stupid mascot suit and the other is crushing hard” dealer’s choice on who I just really like this idea <3

From this prompt list! (still accepting!)

Taako’s had a lot of shitty jobs. A roller-skating server, receptionist at a gym for the most obnoxious gym rats, teacher’s aide for a youth gymnastics class, and a mall elf over Candlenights have been some of his most beloathed gigs. But when Lup sang the praises of her current job and begged him to apply, he figured it couldn’t be that bad.

He really should stop begging the universe to prove him wrong.

The Adventure Zone is, strictly speaking, your average amusement park; it’s full of overpriced, under-seasoned food, sodas the size of your head, thundering rollercoasters that will ensure both of those items make a reappearance on the person next to you, and shitty souvenirs being sold by unenthused workers in uncomfortable polos and khakis. Truly the happiest place on earth.

All of that is shit Taako can and has handled before. But Taako’s bad luck can never let him be. It wasn’t until after he was hired and doing his paperwork that he got the slightest inkling the job could be more than he signed up for.

“Now, son, you’re not claustrophobic, are you?”

--

“Shoulda just lied and said I was claustrophobic,” Taako grumbles to himself as he pulls on the scratchy jumpsuit. He stands in front of the mirror in the staff room and frowns at his reflection. He swears that management had to get the most pathetic looking lion costume in all of existence. It’s simultaneously cartoony and bloated and a bit too realistic. The head is so much worse, though. He shoots it a murderous glare as it sits on a table and watches him with soulless, plastic eyes.

His standoff with his new identity is cut short by the hinges on the staff room door protesting loudly.

“Afternoon, Taako!” Davenport, his manager says brightly. Taako sends him a dead-eyed look before getting a glimpse of perhaps the most gorgeous man Taako has ever seen. Like, Taako’s heard people describe seeing their partner for the first time, saying that the rest of the world just falls away and it’s like angels are singing and he’s always thought it was bullshit. But right now, all Taako can attend to is this handsome dude with a bright smile and an even brighter polo. He thinks he might even hear little bursts of harp music.

“Taako, did you just hear a single word I just said?” Davenport asks, snapping him out of his stupor.

“Uh. No,” He says, feeling his face heat up. Handsome absolutely caught him staring.

Davenport sighs a little, probably already regretting taking Lup’s endorsement of Taako. “This is Kravitz. He’s going to be your handler.”

“My handler?” The last thing Taako needs is someone cramping his style, no matter how handsome.

“Host is probably the better term. Basically I’m here to make sure toddlers don’t yank on your tail and to keep angry parents from literally ripping your head off,” Kravitz says easily, smile still fixed on his face.

Oh god, Taako’s gotta keep himself from mentally planning a wedding. Or mentally jumping his bones. Or both, actually.

“Cool.” Taako reaches over and grabs the head off the table. “Let’s get this show on the road, then.”

--

“God, I cannot believe that kid started crying, I actually feel kinda bad,” Taako whispers to Kravitz as they both wave at a family leaving the area.

“I have a feeling that’s gonna be happening a lot. You don’t exactly have the most welcoming face.”

Taako scoffs melodramatically. “Now, you can’t see my face right now but just know I’m giving you such a bitchy look. Are you saying I’m ugly, Kravitz?”

Kravitz ducks his head. “No! You know what I meant, that lion’s head is an affront to god. Didn’t take you for the type to fish for compliments, Taako.”

“You’ll find that I don’t need to fish for them. People hand them to me constantly.” Flirting while wearing a rejected Lion King Jr. costume isn’t exactly something Taako has experience with but he’s all for trying new things.

“Hmm. Guess we’ll see if that holds true. But between you and me, you’ve already got some points docked.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I mean your ugly as sin fursona here is not doing you any favors,” Kravitz says airily.

Taako gently smacks Kravitz on the shoulder with his humorously oversized paw. “Oh my god, I’m not a furry! This is not my fursona! I’m getting paid for this!”

“The furry doth protest too much, methinks.”

“I hate you,” Taako lies. He very much does not hate Kravitz.

He’s determined to get something good from this shitty job.

[a-yellow-book]

If you were words on a page, you’d be fine print.

In which Wen Kexing shamelessly courts Zhou Zishu with cheesy pick-up lines instead of beautiful ancient Chinese poetry, and Zishu falls for him anyway. (Alternatively, if Word of Honor was a modern romantic comedy.)

[read on ao3 instead]

Zhou Zishu was not looking forward to his closing shift at the cafe tonight. Thinking about the pile of case studies he still had to read through sent him down a spiral of sadness. It was a Saturday night, for goodness’ sake. He wasn’t gunning for a rowdy night-out at bars. All he wanted was to finish his readings and then to curl up on his cozy couch and snuggle in with his cat to watch a wuxia drama. But alas, Zishu couldn’t say no when his boss called, asking if he could cover A-Ying at the last minute because he’d gone skating and knocked his head on the metal railings, no doubt concussed.

It’s ok! It might be a slow night and I can get some readings done there, Zishu reassured himself. That, and also he needed extra money anyway. Jiuxiou’s surgery was coming up soon and they needed whatever extra funds they could get.

Pushing the cafe’s door open, Zishu greeted Heilan, who barely looked over at him. “Urg, you’re finally here. Took you long enough,” he grumbled.

“Sorry, I missed the bus,” Zishu said, shrugging off Heilan’s rudeness. The kid treated everyone whose parents weren’t millionaires with disdain. He was forced to get a job so his dad would let him keep his (unlimited) credit card. Something about teaching him a lesson. Zishu didn’t think it was working.

Before Zishu even managed to set his bag down in the back room and clock in, Heilan had already gathered his stuff and left. “Tsk, tsk, youths these days,” Zishu shook his head mockingly.

It was already close to five o’clock. There might be a bit of a rush as the office workers and students stop by for a quick pick-me-up after a long day. Zishu put on a new apron around his waist, washed his hands, and headed out to the front counter to take stock of the status of the store. Heilan was notorious for not caring to refill any supplies at the end of his shifts.

The cup racks were almost empty. There were random mixing utensils, cups, and blenders left unwashed, littering around the equipment. Sighing, Zishu rolled up his sleeves to get to work cleaning the mess Heilan left behind.

Just as Zishu put the last bit of clean dishes away, the door’s bell rang, signaling the entrance of the first customers since he clocked in. Turning around, drying his hands on his apron, Zishu greeted, “Welcome to Four Seasons Cafe!” And promptly stopped dead in his tracks when he finally processed what he was looking at.

The person standing in front of Zishu had to be the most stunning man he’d ever seen. His eyes sparkled with mirth, his lips quirked up in a perpetual smirk, and his jawline was as sharp as knives. And his hair! It was a beautiful silver starlight waves cascading down his shoulders. And his beautiful pastel green suit! Ahh! Realizing he was staring, Zishu awkwardly cleared his throat and asked, “What can I get for ya?”

The beautiful man kept looking at Zishu. He definitely noticed the blush that was blooming on Zishu’s cheeks. “I assume you know what’s on the menu?” Zishu was taken a bit off guard by the strange question, but before he could answer, the man continued, “Me ‘n’ u.”

For all the years he’d worked at various restaurants and coffee shops, Zishu had yet to encounter someone so... alluring (?) and shameless (!). “I’m afraid that’s not on our blackboard,” he replied after a short moment spent recovering his wits, and pointed at the said blackboard nailed on the wall behind him.

Undeterred, the stranger smiled and continued, “Oh? Well, that’s a shame - because if I were the alphabet, I would put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together when I write your menu.”

Zishu had to give him points for those cheesy lines only made funnier and cheesier with his dead-ass serious delivery. “If we ever decide to rewrite our boards, I’ll try to keep that in mind,” Zishu said, biting his lips to keep himself from smiling at the ridiculousness of the conversation.

“Hmm, hmm, good, that is reassuring to hear,” the stranger nodded thoughtfully.

“So! Is there anything on our board that I could get for ya?” Zishu asked, clapping his hands together and putting on a chirpy tone. If this guy was flirting with him, he might leave a hefty tip!

“Uhmm,” he paused, pursuing the menu with great care. “I would love to try the ‘you mocha me crazy’ with an extra espresso shot, please.”

Grabbing a cup and marker, Zishu fought against the urge to dig a hole to hide in before asking, “Alrighty! What’s your name?” Internally, he was cursing A-Ying for coming up with the outrageous and horrific punny names for their specials.

“Kexing, Wen Kexing.”

“Great! It’ll be right out!” Zishu said, scribbling the name down on the side of the cup and promptly turned around, about to get started making the drink.

“Uhm, excuse me?” Kexing, the beautiful stranger said, sounding full of suppressed laughter. “Should I pay now?”

“OH!” Zishu immediately turned back around, “Yes, right. Sorry about that!” He quickly ran up the total, accepted the money from the smiling stranger, and repeated, “Great! It’ll be right out!”

There had to be a hole large enough for him to hide in. He could not endure this embarrassment any longer.

“There’s no need to rush!” Kexing, the infuriating stranger said.

“I don’t want to...uhm... delay you...” Zishu said lamely.

“There’s nowhere I’d rather be.”

Zishu could feel his cheeks flaming up. He turned all his attention and focused on making the mocha, which he could do in his sleep, to avoid looking at the (shameless!) man. With a flick of his wrist, he drizzled the raspberry syrup around the cup, letting it drip down to make a fancy pattern before pouring in the chocolate syrup, milk, and topping it off with the espresso shots.

Giving the cup a slight shake, Zishu grabbed a bamboo straw and handed both to the (shameless!) man, who hadn’t moved an inch from his spot by the front counter. “Here you go!”

“Thank you,” he said, reaching out with both hands to grab the cup and incidentally caught Zishu’s hand as well. (Zishu was sure it was a deliberate move, considering how shameless the man was.) “I’ve told you my name, but I still don’t know yours,” he said, continuing to hold onto the cup (and Zishu’s hand).

“Oh, uhm,” Zishu wiggled his hand, successfully dislodging it. Before he could think of a fake name to give out, the cafe’s door swung open and A-Ying stepped in.

“A-Xu!” A-Ying greeted, seemingly not noticing the tension between his best friend and the customer. “I’m here!!!!!!!”

Seeing A-Ying all bandaged up standing in the cafe was enough to jerk Zishu out of the staring contest he had unwittingly been engaged in with the stranger. “What are you doing here?!”

“Hi!” A-Ying greeted the stranger, thinking he was just a normal customer. “Sorry - I wanted to come in to help you close! It’s too much work for one person.”

“But you have a concussion! You need to go rest!” Zishu grabbed A-Ying by the shoulders, turned him around and about to march him right the fuck back home.

“No, I’m fine! Just a tiny headache and a scratched forehead,” A-Ying protested.

“But---!”

“Besides, I’ve been taking so many days off recently. I need to make up for that.”

“A-Ying, you’re going to clock in and you’re going to sit in the back, resting,” Zishu declared. “Or else I’d knock you out for real.”

A-Ying raised his hands placatingly, “Ok, ok, ok!”

With A-Ying retreating to the back, Zishu let out a sigh. This kid, always trying to be helpful to others but didn’t know how to take care of himself.

“A-Xu?” It was the stranger who called out to Zishu, “Xu is a beautiful name.”

“I--uhm, thanks. It’s a nickname,” Zishu corrected.

“Oh? Then would it be ok if I call you by A-Xu?” Wen Kexing asked.

“Sure,” Zishu shrugged. He figured the man might not come back anyway.

“It was really nice to meet you, A-Xu!” He said cheerfully before leaving (finally!).

“Who was that?” A-Ying emerged from the back, tying an apron on and looking at the retreating Wen Kexing curiously.

“No one, just a customer,” Zishu might have said that a tad too quickly. Also, he was sure his cheeks were still dusting pink from all the flirting.

“Ooooohhhhh, I’m sensing something else is going on!!!” A-Ying teased. He could read his best friend as easily as an open book. “That guy is so cute! Good for you, A-Xu!”

“If you aren’t already hurt, I will kick you so hard right now,” Zishu threatened without much bite.

“Yea, yea, sureeee.”

The glare Zishu directed at A-Ying was sharp enough to cut steel. “Why did you come out here? Huh? What did I tell you?”

“A-Xu, A-Xu!! I’m just going to sit here and do nothing! Ok!” A-Ying said, waving his hands wildly at the chair propped against the back counter.

Just as Zishu was about to scold A-Ying, the door swung open, and a group of students piled in, talking loudly among themselves. Turning around to A-Ying, Zishu pointed a stern finger and said, “You will not move an inch from that chair. Got it?”

“Got it, boss!” A-Ying said, smiling widely, already thinking of how he was going to stealthily make the drinks anyway.

[simpingw0lfi3]

i remember you so

day one: favourite character!! 

With your earphones plugged in, you languidly leaned against the back of the chair you sat in the bus, watching the cityscape pass by the window, building to building, framed. Another day of college. Within its humdrum, each day would pass like another; classes, studying, eating, sleep. Groaning in much exasperation, something felt missing. The thrill, the exhilaration... like everything had been stopped by a red light. You missed the vivid green.

“I’m going out!” You hollered across the corridor, signalling to your older brother, Kaoru, who seemed to be busying himself with schoolwork. Although you felt guilty that he had piles of papers haphazardly stacked from school but you, being in middle school, had almost nothing to study, you shrugged it off and told yourself that eventually you’d be in his shoes.

“Are you bringing your skateboard with you?” Eyebrows knit in concern, he walked over to your figure at the door and looked at your hand that was occupied with holding the wooden board. Subconsciously, you hid it behind your legs, fearing the severity of his gaze

“I-I’m just going to skate to the location!! I’ll stay safe, I promise.” Though he didn’t seem convinced, he brushed his cherry-hair out of his face and sighed at your stubbornness.

“Alright, then.” He waved you off, walking back to to his desk and continuing his work. With a small grin, you shoved the door open, flinging your skateboard onto the ground and secured your foot down while the other propelled your way forward.

“Next stop - xxx College.” The monotoned announcement drilled into your head, causing you to sluggishly stand up and make your way out, strolling on the concrete pavement. Loud chatter arose between the gathering students, their exuberance forcing you in discomfort. Social interactions weren’t something you enjoyed. Fingers fumbling in your pocket, you increased the volume to your music, ignoring the liveliness of those around you and making your way towards your lecture hall.

“So... where we headed?” Your foot continued to kick off of the road, attempting to keep up with the man next to you. HIs green hair danced in the wind, locks flowing graciously despite his casual, almost delinquent-like attire. A cheeky grin crept onto his face, one that filled you to the brim with affection for the man.

“You’ll see. This stays a secret between you and me, though. No telling Kaoru.” He gave you a wink, skating at ease as if it was second nature to him. Yet, while you continued to follow his lead, his kicks against the road seemed less frequent, and the distance between the two of you diminished. He was matching your pace. It was gestures like these that made your heart beat in elation... and in love. 

Eyelids heavy, head nonfunctioning... that lecture seemed to go on forever. The way the professor’s voice drilled in your head, going in from one ear to another threatened to make you drift off to sleep. Yet here you were, sitting on a bench and closing your eyes as you inclined the back of your head against the top of the wooden bench, breathing in the fresh air as the tranquil breeze refreshed you. A bento sat on your lap, one that you cooked earlier this morning for lunch. Unfastening the cover, the strands of pasta glistened in the sunlight, exuding a rich, creamy aroma that made you instinctively drool. Cooking a dish like this never got old - it was undemanding, delicious. But most of all, it was nostalgic.

“A cooking class?” You cocked your head to the side, the two of you leaving your skateboards outside and entering the facility. 

“Yep! I know you and your brother love Italian food so... I thought we should learn together.” A pink tint rose to his cheeks, him scratching the back of his head in fluster. “Shall we?” His hand extended out to yours, a mellow smile forming onto his lips, and you saw yourself reflected in his eyes. Returning that warmth, you delicately placed your hand in his, letting him lead the way to the kitchen.

On your way back home, you spotted a newly-opened restaurant, one you weren’t familiar with. The scent of Italian food wafted to your nose, causing you to instinctively head inside with curiosity. It was a small establishment, but nonetheless had a hospitable ambience. “Hey! Welco-” Whipping your head to the sound of the voice, you were greeted with a man in a chef uniform, his green hair tied up in a ponytail. His well-built figure seemed to threaten the buttons on his top, and yet you didn’t seem to be intimidated by his presence; rather, he exuded an aura of solace and familiarity. 

“Uhm...” You shifted uncomfortably under his relentless gaze. He had frozen on the spot and you didn’t quite understand why, but instead of walking away or breaking contact, something had told you to stay. 

“Y/n...?” The breathless whisper of your name escaped from his lips, eyes never once leaving your figure as he stiffened up. Despite your initial discomfort, at the sound of your name rung some bells, bringing jovial and youthful memories back to the light. Dropping everything at once, your body moved on its own, instinctively running towards the man and wrapping your arms around him.

“Thanks for today. It was really fun!” You cheerfully grinned, feeling like you were on cloud 9 after such an eventful day with the man you loved most.

“Even though you nearly cut your finger off?”

“H-hey! Stop that...” Within your embarrassment, you felt the heat rise to your cheeks as you turned away, hoping he didn’t see your internal glee combined with your fluster. “I really didn’t expect you to be such a good cook though... maybe you should become a chef when you grow up!” A comment slipped through your lips, catching the attention of the teenager in front of you.

“Hmm, maybe I will. Then I’ll be able to see your delighted face everyday, wouldn’t I?” With a small chuckle, he leaned forward and threaded his fingers through your hair, tucking it behind your ear before giving you a few pats on the head. “What we did today... stays a secret between us, alright? Can’t let Kaoru know about us.”

“I know, silly. Go on, before he notices.” You watched as his figure roamed through the streets, the wind carrying his body laced with finesse until he was no longer in view. Filled with contentment, you walked back into your home, humming to yourself quietly as you looked back to what you did with him today.

“Kojiro...” Mumbling his name, your eyes were rimmed with tears threatening to fall. “Where did you go? After all this time...” Kojiro’s arms wrapped around your smaller figure in restraint, hoping that his build wouldn’t crush someone as delicate as you.

“Haha, I’m sorry... things came up and I needed to get them done.” He pulled you off of him, gazing into your watery pupils with endearment. “You’re as beautiful as ever.”

“And you’re as silly as I remember. I can’t believe you actually opened a restaurant!” Stifling your laughter, you watched as his hand made its way to your hair, brushing it away from your face with the corner of his lips curling up into a passionate smile. 

“I kept my promise.” The two of you stared at each other, as if remembering and unlocking hidden memories of the past with each other’s features. He looked different but... the Kojiro you knew was the same.

“I missed you.”

“I did too.” Bringing you into one more embrace, you observed as the mundane view of your city was coloured with the viridescent lushness.

[talvin-muircastle]

Am I Queer? It’s Controversial.

This is going to be long, and it’s going to cover a lot of ground, so please bear with me.  

Recently, this article came to my attention:

https://www.healthline.com/health/gender-nonconforming

I have spent a fair amount of time questioning my own sexuality/identity, and having it questioned by others.  Now approaching five full decades of life, I feel comfortable saying:

I identify as Male, and Straight.

I am Gender Non-Conforming by the standards of the culture I come from.

But I am not comfortable saying this qualifies me as “Queer” or otherwise under LGBTQIA+.   

That article (which is by no means the Last Word on the subject) identifies several areas where I do not conform to my AMAB status as culturally defined:

I have long hair.  But I also have a thick beard and moustache, and I like that combination.  Still, I grew up in a place where long hair on a guy meant you were A) Queer or B) into Heavy Metal.   Even though my teen years saw me sporting a military-style buzzcut more often than not, I tended to hang out with the Metalheads.  My long hair continues to be a point of contention with my conservative relatives and in-laws.   Some of them think I am a Hippie, which is funny because I am allergic to Cannabis.  Wanna watch me fight for breath and puke?  Blow weed smoke in my face.  

I am a Stay-At-Home Dad and Homemaker.  I have been the breadwinner for this family, but that is not part of my identity.  I am quite content to let my wife handle that part of things, and so is she.  I have been a Dad longer than I have been a father, in fact:  for most of my life I have been mentoring teenagers that find their way to me seeking advice, comfort, acceptance, and guidance.    I spent a lot of time worrying about what career should I follow, and it took me far too long to understand and accept that Dad was what I was after.  A woman seeking motherhood as a career is validated, a man seeking fatherhood in the same context is not conforming.  

When I was younger, I got hit with one hell of a double-standard: while wanting to be a Dad as a goal is not acceptable, I was supposed to go out there and sow my wild oats.  OK, I wasn’t really supposed to get girls pregnant, but I was supposed to try.  Wait, what? Try that again?  OK, if you were a teenaged boy in the 80s and 90s and I am pretty sure before that (not sure after, AIDS changed a lot of thinking all around), you were not supposed to get a girl pregnant, but you were supposed to make an attempt as often as possible, in fact you were supposed to score but fail.  If you are confused, don’t feel bad: I was living steeped in this paradox 24/7/365 and came out of it real confused.

Meanwhile, I was looking for a long-term, meaningful relationship with a woman who could be a partner in my life, and avoiding the one-night stands I was supposed to be after according to the standards of my culture, and so many of the people around me—parents, teachers, peers—decided that I must be Queer.  And that was Not A Good Classification To Find Yourself In in Rural Tennessee of the 80’s and 90’s.   Lacking real support, I entered adulthood like a trainwreck still skidding down the tracks, confused as hell and desperately trying to please people whose opinions mattered to me far more than they should.  I did finally find that relationship, and we celebrate 21 years of marriage this month.  Meanwhile I can’t keep track of who has gotten divorced and remarried from that crowd anymore.   

I am not a fan of American Football.  (I am not a fan of soccer, which is football to the rest of the world, but that’s not going to get you labeled Queer in the USA as yet.)   Even so, I got recruited to be the Football Manager for my high school football team, and then I spent several years studying to be an Athletic Trainer in college as an add-on to my English and Education degree.  The fact that I spent 7 years of my life on the sidelines of football games (and basketball, and baseball) and still do not really understand the rules of those sports should have been a clear sign to me that I was trying to conform and failing badly.  An American Male of my generation is supposed to like these things, he is supposed to scream at the television or scream from the stands when watching a game, he is supposed to have a Favorite Team and Wear Their Stuff.

Yeah, that’s not me.  I don’t like combative sports.  I like things that involve grace, beauty, and art.   Figure skating (either gender, singles, but especially pairs) is fun to watch.  The more artistic of gymnastics events are nice (uneven bars and vault are kinda boring, but I love watching floor exercise.)  Watching someone do tricks on a skateboard is more interesting to me than an MMA bout.  I enjoy the art of it.   I used to watch WWF Wrestling as a kid, but I found I enjoyed the “story” more than the violence.  Martial arts practice that is done like a dance is more interesting than watching two people try to kick each other in the face for real.   

I’m told I am supposed to like these things.  I am told that not liking them makes me less masculine.  

This extends into online gaming as well.  Oh, I like some combat games.  We aren’t going to talk about how many hours I have played the XCOM series.  But…I don’t like PVP or multiplayer. I like the story arc, and accomplishing things.  Minecraft?  I like building, and killing mobs is very secondary to that.  In single-player I usually just go peaceful mode and explore the world, build grand railways and tunnels, create comfortable houses or make a home under a lake with a glass roof under the water.  In World of Warcraft I spent more time exploring the world and getting cool screenshots than worrying about getting Phat Loot and XP.  I would take a whole afternoon just to escort a couple of new players through dangerous territory so they could find their friends.  

I have gotten a lot of grief over that.  I am supposed to go out and kill kill kill stab stab stab get the loot!  

And I am supposed to get more than the other person.  It’s competition.  Men are supposed to compete.  And if you can’t get more than the other guy you go dump buckets of lava on his house and laugh at the noob.  

I hate that.  

By the standards I was raised with, I am gender nonconforming.  I most definitely do not conform to the expectations that were laid upon me from my youth.

Does that make me Queer?   I am not comfortable claiming that.

The standards I was held to can also be considered Toxic Masculinity.  They hold that Queer==Less Of A Man.  “Queer” is not “Less.”  I was raised to think it is, but I have learned, and grown, and I know that it is not.  I also do not accept that I, myself, am Less.  The very premise of me being labeled Queer by those people is wrong on all counts.   I am different. I have always known that.  I believe that “Man” and “Male” can encompass more than violence, bullying, and competition.  I also know full well that many who identify as “Woman” and “Female” embrace those as ideals as well.  

I am no stranger to violence.  My life has often been violent.  I have fought off muggers who were armed with knives, I have stared down the barrel of a gun, I have been beaten because someone else wanted to establish himself as the dominant male in our school just after he moved there.  I am not a pacifist: the only reason I have not killed another human being in self-defense is because I was outnumbered.   I just don’t feel that defines my gender, and I have been told it should.  I fight to survive and to protect others, not to prove that I can.  

Others who look like me are guarding statues of Columbus with their Assault Rifles because they feel their masculinity is threatened.  This is another area where I do not conform to my expected gender roles.   Not only do I not feel my masculinity is threatened by BLM, or Pride, or the existence of Trans folks, I no longer feel my masculinity can be threatened.  I spent so many years under attack from “my” side, and gotten so much support from “their” side, that I now understand that my gender is not about what THEY think.  It is MY identity. I OWN it.  I am who I am regardless of their perception of me. Nothing someone else does can take that from me. 

And if anything about me is Queer, it is that: the understanding that my identity belongs to me and not to those who seek to mislabel me.  

I have been told by some in the Queer community that I am welcome among them, and I am grateful for that.  So, so many of my stories can be prefaced with, “There I was, the only Straight Guy in the room, when:”  I am proud to be an Ally.  

But calling myself Queer?  I’m not comfortable doing that.  I could, and I know some who would accept it.  But I feel it is more important to me to break the toxic definition of Masculinity and show that things like nurturing, caring, creating, dancing, loving, uplifting, and oh yes parenting, these ARE Male Qualities, always have been, and should always be.   No criticism of GNC folks who take the Queer label intended or implied: they are not Less, they own their own identity, they are valid.   They are themselves, and have a right to be. 

I am me.

I am a Man.

I will never be the Man they wanted me to be, and I am PROUD of that. 

Happy Pride Month.  

Don’t let the bastards get you down.

[haknew]

pls talk about your thoughts about chanhee and also the other concepts!! I always have such a hard time interpreting music and videos but i love to read about it

“bestie pls share ur thoughts on make your own concepts specifically chanhee’s but any others that are ur fave too 🎤- mar”

omg mar thank you for enabling me all day today 😭🥺🧡 thenks bestie ily :,)) and thank you too anon ! i should preface that T-T i have not read any other theories or analyses so these are just my opinions / impressions but i hope it’s entertaining to read about haha :p ! (feel free @ anyone to add on or share your thoughts too ! :,))

HYUNJAE - okay so audio cues... if you listen to the beginning there’s a sound of a bomb going off before the music starts ? and that ties into the dystopian / cyborg aesthetics that jump out at me of course, but what i immediately thought of was their no air perfo ? like we know hyunjae in the no air mv got that shot where he’s laying in the bathtub filled with water but also their kingdom performance with it also had those underwater shots ! so i think it ties into that... i feel like we saw in gen z, he’s a very straightforward person he says things on his mind which can come off as blunt but he thinks it’s better than not saying it ? which is interesting bc i think that speaks to his self- determined personality, he’s much more inclined to do whatever it takes to get something done, which i think falls perfectly in line with the “make your own air” phrase that he gets, if it’s something he needs he makes it himself, in a situational sense methinks u.u 

 JUYEON - JUYEON’S DJSKHDG i’m waiting for dri’s essay but in essence we see the gen z “juyeon is not such a good boy” shot and these text bubbles that pop up that say “sexy” “you so hot” “such a bad boy” and tbh i like this ‘concept’ ? for him better than his gen z one ? it’s not bc of the concept itself but i like the idea that he can “make your own character” as in he has the capability and power to be whoever he wants to ! you see him throwing white paint at the gen z canvas and i think ?! that’s symbolic of like a fresh canvas ! of remaking himself to whatever he wants bc the canvas is now blank again thanks to the white paint and flowers usually indicate spring ? so renewal and stuff like that ! i really like his, it’s also fun word play on “character” which has been juyeon’s intro in tbz (bc his name sounds like main character in korean) but yea :o ! i really love his the idea he can just repaint / paint over a literal image of him gives it the possibility of becoming smth new and that’s so so cool

CHANGMIN - SCREEEEECH okie um oh boy um *windows shutting down noises* this was so so so very different from his gen z stuff but i actually think BOTH are equally perfect for him ? the way that he set up the sparklers and neon lights on this very obviously trashy and kind of rundown rooftop with the cityline behind him is so ?!?!? LITERALLY making his own stage as his tagline goes, sort of like how the physical stage itself does not matter but rather it’s changmin himself that makes the stage special ! i talked about this in gabi’s set that i rbed ;-;/ but changmin puts a lot A LOT of stake in his position as a dancer it means almost everything to him as a form of expression from what i can see ? so he’s always trying his best to put forward the best performance possible and seeing this segment makes me feel like he’s doing just that ! pouring himself into it to make his stage pls i care him 

HAKNYEON - god i’m a jusadan but just u.u rest in peace me, i’ll ... T_T be kind of honest this one confuses me a little ? i have assumptions and i feel like i know ... quite a bit about haknyeon (LMAO) my best guess is it has smth to do with self assurance ...? the way he’s framed and the fact that he’s sitting on a bed in the middle of a church surrounded by candles gives me christ figure symbolism (where my ap english takers at :/) and the light that perfectly frames him in a halo gives me angel vibes too, but the tagline of “make your own romance” paired with him kissing his reflection makes me think it’s about self love ;;;; from what i can tell haknyeon has always been someone who really likes feeling validated and praised for the stuff he does well, which he does for himself a lot of the times too ! but sometimes i think the self assurances he compliments himself with is more for reassuring himself rather than bragging (which i think people misinterpret) so it’s more about becoming the person he wants to fully love and being happie with himself which *tears* i might be reading too much into who knows i just love him ok ... U.U 

KEBINNN - i know !!! dri mentioned this in my gifset tags but ! kev on kpop daebak (? was it) or smth mentioned how he strives to keep a childlike wonderment for the world around him, which is a reason why i think he loves drawing and sound / music production, he talked in a fancafe post once about an artist who turned mediocre everyday objects into art and he said he really loves that sense of wonderment so peter pan who “never grows up” is actually perfect for his worldview ahhhh T^T also kev really likes disney lmao, the way he’s doing this outside in this “neverland” garden on a balcony which is a part of this very typical apartment backed by a typical city bg also i believe ties into this turning a mediocre everyday thing into smth wonderful through his sense of childlike wonderment and his tagline of “make your own fantasy” (i also care him a lot this concept >>>>>>) and keeps to his referencing movie plotlines like he did in gen z jddkfj

SUNWOO - i also mentioned this in my tags on sunu’s set but this gives me 100 degrees vibes which i still to this day think is one of the most “sunwoo” vibe things ever, it’s a lot of him having fun and doing his own thing, and mixes both more mature and youthful aspects together in a way that i’d only ever describe as sunwoo vibes LMAO like the roller skating around and all the soap bubbles ! cute and youthful ! the crop top and celine wasitband (don’t laugh at me we all noticed) more mature and a callback to his gen z look methinks U.u, think sunwoo has always been a more go-with-the-flow or do whatever he feels like doing sort of person and so “make your own vibe” fits well with him in that sense to me 

SANGYEON - .... *silence* *more windows shutting down noises* *jess.exe has stopped working* OKAY i feel like ! sangyeon’s is also more self explanatory :p i love the juxtaposition of boxing AND the arcade type fighter games ?? like both require very different sets of skills i feel like one is more physical the other is more mental ? but both require adapting to changes whether in the game or the boxing ring which as leader sangyeon would know a lot about, esp being flexible and quick to respond to different situations, and the “make your own glory” i feel is maybe more on the nose, but tbz are this man’s pride and joy you can see it literally anywhere and for him, as leader, to have made it this far with tbz, winning rtk and building their popularity through their hard work and efforts really is building his own glory and i just HHHHHHHHHH

YES EYYSFDHSHF CHANHEE YES - i said it in the tags of my srb before deleting it so i’ll just repeat it here but CHOI CHANHEE !!!!! this detail i didn’t quite process first watch was the continuous flashing of lights in all his scenes, like ... from the shots and the set it looks REALLY empty ?? but the flashing seems to indicate cameras and photos being taken of him despite there being no people we can really see in any of the shots ? WHICH IS SO COOL i think the implication is like “all eyes on him” type which SO TRU i love that idea, like i said the walking past the wedding dresses ? v heavily implies fashion designer which i think you mentioned mar :o ! and i see it in the sense of his tagline “make your own stereotype” bc white wedding dresses are the very traditional / typical choice and obviously feminine in stereotypes, whereas chanhee is wearing a SUIT which is all black in a very clean b/w set with no color which i feel is very stereotypically MASCULINE and the glasses too, it’s such an interesting contrast of his “stereotypically feminine” features (in my view) with very masculine symbols, like glasses we usually associate with more soft hearted / meek stereotypes ? but the geometric shape of the windows and again his suit seems to indicate the very opposite ? it’s a mixing of stereotypes which i think is the point, by putting those together he quite literally makes his own stereotype and puts on the crown while the cameras continue flashing while pointed at him AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

YOUNGHOON - okie might have less to say about this one :o i feel like both hak’s and younghoon’s i don’t see the connections quite as readily but ! i think it’s interesting that his tagline is “make your own classic” but then in the scenes itself he has a flip phone ??? with an antenna (okay boomer /j JDHFKFG JK PLS) and a teddy bear while in PERIOD stylized clothing and setting where those two things are more modern / contemporary in origin (but also not modern enough bc ,,, it’s a flip phone LOL) like 90s kid vibes ? you know but as an emperor in the joseon era haha :p while eating shrimp chips and reading a (comic ?) book, like idk too much of what it means but it’s a cool dichotomy LOL, think it might also tie into actor ! hoon bc it’s make your own classic and i think acting has become a very important aspect to him :o after seeing what he’s capable of in love revolution and his atbz video so it’s interesting u.u (need help w/ this one)

JACOB - think my explanation in han’s set’s tags didn’t really make sense so lemme ... reexplain LOL,,, so ! similar to his gen z video ? like he’s talked about how difficult it is to open up about his own feelings etc. and he said it’s less bc he realizes he needs to but rather just to make other people feel more comfortable when it comes to understanding him, and like the whole breaking the mirror with his reflection in the wanna be angry jacob, it’s about freeing himself to the point he can express the emotions he wants to ! in gen z it was about being able to be angry when he felt that way instead of being tied by his image of being just nice ? and in the video with his pilot uniform not only does he control the ride but he also rides on it himself ! quite literally making his own freedom (symbolically), a sort of realizing he can free himself ? from what’s been tying him down and i think the really big smile he has while riding it just comes to show how he wants to feel :,))) (jacob bae i care you) 

ERIC - last one :p AHHH this is one of my favs too, the quite literal “make your own pride” I LOVE IT ! sooo i think the biggest takeaway i got was that of course in this video his “pride” is symbolized by the hot pink car (that he’s going to pick up his christmassy date in of course u.u if he has a license which he does n- his driver’s license in this was literally his aaa / boy version of reveal photo which in no dmv anywhere would a license picture be allowed to look that good-) and LITERALLY when he finished and takes it for a joy ride while sitting on the roof he’s STILL covered in the dirt and grime stains ! from working on it ! which i think is so symbolic ! it’s my favorite detail actually, he literally put sweat into this car which is his pride and now that he’s finally riding around in it, it feels accomplishing ! his pride ! love that, also when he’s grabbing a stub from that flyer i noticed he chose “youth” over the others (which was like .... ca$h, beauty, ice cream, hamburger...) which i think also just indicates that despite all this hard work he put in he still cherishes his youth and still lets that be a huge part of who he is (i mean pink car so of course) so idk i think it’s very neat go bestie mwah

[twinkleallnight]

Marshmallow

(Part-4) Frozen thoughts

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Liam x MC, Drake x ??

For previous chapters: catch up here

Thank you @bbrandy2002 for pre reading.

Tags: @ao719 @bbrandy2002 @choiceskatie @drakewalker04 @gkittylove99 @hopefulmoonobject @jovialyouthmusic @mrswalkers-blog @mom2000aggie @speedyoperarascalparty @texaskitten30 @no-one-u-know

Frozen thoughts---

There is no going back. I have lost Livy. I am listless as I lumber around the lawns when my phone buzzes. It is Liam. I take the call.

“Yes Liam?”

“Hey, can u distract the Big B?”, he says in a hushed tone over the phone. He is referring to Bastein, the head guard.

“Where are you?”

“In my room. And he is right outside my door. Can you please come over?” he whispers.

“ On my way.”

Bastein, chief of guards, holds a special place in our lives. He was my father’s close friend for most of his life though half his age. But after losing my father, he has been that fatherly figure in my life. Since king Constantine keeps busy in stately affairs, Bastein has been there for Liam and Leo too. As much as he loves us all he makes sure to keep all of his brats--us--in check. Bastein has taken care of the former prince Leo, who had a very risqué lifestyle and always found Liam as very easy one to deal with.

Liam has always been the golden boy. The most well-mannered, obedient and disciplined of us all. He still agrees with Bastein's suggestions. What surprises me is why Liam needs to get rid of him? I sprint towards his room and I am greeted by Bastein’s stiff figure standing in front of Liam’s door. He nods and allows me to enter.

As soon as I see Liam, all the memories from few hours back, come rushing in. He has a mischievous smile on his face, which fades when our eyes meet.

“What’s wrong?”, he voices his concern. I sit down on the couch with a heavy heart, placing my head down in my hands. “Is this the same thing that was bothering you earlier at the lawn party too.” I nod. He sits besides me, a hand on my shoulder. “ Can I help?”

“Yes, it’s Livy.” I gather myself and fill him with all the details.

He is remorseful about what happened. When I finish, he speaks,“ I am sorry. It’s my fault. I should have at least called her. But,” he claps on my shoulder, “ I will make this right. I will make it up to her. Please relax. I promise you.” I gradually calm down after his persistence.

“How are things coming along with the social season and the suitors?”, I ask after some time. I see the playful smile return on his face.

“ Yes, about that...We need to be somewhere right now if you can help me.” He grins.

A look at my wristwatch and it dawns on me, “Oh! I am sorry! I totally forgot. Riley’s Cronut sneak out!”

“Sshhh! Quiet! That man out there has keen ears” Liam says in a muted tone.

“ Okay! Okay!”, I say softly. “ So what’s the plan?”

“ If I move out from the main door, he will surely follow me.”

“So, where do you want to make a getaway from?” I ask him, puzzled.

“From the window?” He looks at me, quite unsure.

“Crown prince of Cordonia wants to sneak out through a window to be with his girlfriend,” I chuckle.

“Oh yes, go on and mock me. Yes, I want... no, I will sneak out to be with her. Now stop giggling like a lass and come over here and help me! Once I am out of here, you walk out of the main door, pretending you are leaving me back in the room so that Bastein doesn’t suspect anything.”

“Sounds good.”

I help him out the window. He lands on the bush down with a thud and an ah and a ooh! I control my laughter and turn back to get out. I make small talk with Bastein appearing normal and then head out to the lawns. Riley, Max and Hana are all busy plucking thorns from all over Liam’s clothes.

“You good there?” I ask, amused.

“Yes, except that I landed on a rose bush full of thorns!” He stares at me.

“ Well, you need to pay the price to sneak out.”

After the clean-up, we walk to Maxwell's SUV and hop in. I take the driver's seat while Liam sits with Riley in the back seat and Hana on Riley’s other side. We get down at a pastry shop near the beach.

Liam takes the ladies to a table while I follow Max to place our orders. As we carry our food to the table, Max makes his signature dance move with a shout-out, “Cronuts here we come!” The girls laugh and we all plunge into the delicacy. Hana, Max and Liam try them for the first time so all the comments start pouring in after the first bite.

“Do you know the recipe, Riley?” asks Hana in her smooth voice. I notice she has a soft and low tone even when we are out of court. I feel like asking her if she always speaks so softly.

“Ahaan!” nods Riley, her mouth full. She is just the opposite of Hana with her heavy commanding voice.

“Please do share with me.” Hana requests politely.

Liam perks up,“ Thank you, that means I don’t have to be punctured with thorns anymore for a sneak out.”

“Oh, Liam, I’m so sorry. I put you through this.” Riley apologizes since it was her mastermind plan to do all of this.

“Riley, I don’t mind the effort if the result is so scrumptious, not to forget the company of my friends.” Liam assures her.

Friends--with that word, I lose track of the conversation. Not all friends, I feel. Livy's forlorn face floats in front of my eyes. I start missing her again.

Absent-minded, I follow the group as they walk out of the shop.

“Bastein, We...I… How did you know?” Liam stutters. I come out of my trance and see Bastein standing tall, right at the exit point.

Riley and Hana giggle, looking at Liam fumble with his words.

“Sir, I have had the honour to train at the hands of your elder brother. I hope you can grant me that much. Liam snickers at the mention of Leo. “The king awaits in his study to talk to you about some urgent matter.”

Liam returns to his stoic self. “ Let’s go back,” he says and turns to the ladies, “ Thank you so much for this little outing. I apologise I will have to cut this short. I will see you tomorrow.”

“Max, I trust you will drive the ladies back to the palace safely. Drake, you may walk lady Hana to her quarters from there.” Liam assigns us the roles and I glare at him. He knows well I don't do well with strangers, especially a lady! I could have escorted Riley; I know her a little but Hana…! I have hardly spoken a sentence or two in these two meetings.

To worsen the situation further, Riley insists on taking the front seat and I have to share the back seat with Hana. We drive down to the palace. While I get out to walk Hana to her quarters, Riley accompanies Max to the parking lot. As he starts the SUV,Riley shrieks, “Full speed ahead!" Hana and I both giggle, then walk away.

“She is a live wire”, Hana says.

“Yeah, may be the right balance for Liam,”

I stop in my tracks realising my remark must have hurt Hana. She is a contender for the same position, after all. “I am sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Hana kept treading on, “ You don’t need to apologize for something that is obvious. I can sense the heat between them. And believe me, I am perfectly fine with it.”

She sets me back on heel by saying that. “But you are officially a suitor in this social season. How is it that it doesn’t matter to you at all?”

“Grabbing the crown to be a future queen is not the only purpose for some of us. In fact, even Riley is not a crown chaser. Some people live for love!”

“Oh, you mean you have already found someone in your life.” I make my presumption.

“No. There isn’t anyone yet. But when it happens, I wish it to be as strong as what Liam and Riley share. Until then, I aim to prove my worth at working with the state affairs.”

“I understand. The royal court is not a piece of cake and Liam surely needs to build a fresh set of representatives who serve the youth.”

She smiles and turns with a twinkle in her eyes. “Thank you for walking me down. It was fascinating talking to you.” I realise we have reached her room.

“Pleasure is mine, Lady Hana. Hope to see you again soon.” I curtsy and turn on my heels.

My steps get sluggish as I cross Livy's chambers. ‘Is she awake? Is she listening? She said she can make out my footsteps. Should I wait to see if she opens the door and comes back?’ The whirlwind of thoughts push me slowly to my room and I hit the sack without changing my clothes. I drift into a deep slumber without effort, tired of the day’s events.

---------

Morning comes with a new hope. We are travelling to Lythikos today. The snowy north duchy of Cordonia that belongs to Duchess Olivia Nevrakis.

There is much to do before I leave. I quickly pack my bags and then make a run to the stables, instruct my assisting vet for things to be done in my absence. I rush back to my room, load my truck and drive safely to catch up right behind Max's limo. Riley is with him in there.

Liam and Livy had planned an early morning drive as she is the host and I am hoping that they have got time to talk to each other and smooth out the creases.

I can feel the chill just by the sight of the snow after almost an hour-long drive. Max and Riley have already moved inside the cosy chateau. I pull on my jacket before getting out. As I drag my bags up the entrance, I hear her. 'The Guanaco call', I always teased Livy, saying her sharp laughter sounds just like the lama and she hits back saying 'what better comparison can I expect from an animal doc?’

I spin to find her ice skating with Liam at the frozen lake. She is beaming, radiant and glowing again. I feel a surge of fresh energy watching her.

But I am staggered, I stand there, I don’t know for how long, just with my frozen thoughts.

[trillian-anders]

chambers - vii

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

warnings: violence, angst, slow burn

word count: 4597

Description: post-endgame. Steve Rogers has passed away from old age. The one remarkable thing is that no one knew his heart would be in the condition it was. He was able to save one more life. After receiving his heart, strange things start happening. Including something that would change your life forever. (Inspired by the Netflix series of the same name.)

Helmut Zemo.

 What do we know about Helmut Zemo? 

He was a former Colonel of the Sakovian Armed Forces. He lost his entire family during the Ultron ordeal in Sakovia. He was a former commander of the EKO Scorpion special forces. He hated the Avengers. He hated Steve Rogers. He planned an attack for a year, knowing he couldn’t take the Avengers on himself, he pulled a pin exactly where he knew it would make the tower fall. Bucky Barnes. 

He knew Steve Rogers would do anything to get Bucky Barnes back, the Winter Soldier hiding out in Romania, Captain America had been looking for him for a while. Something that didn’t go unnoticed by Zemo. Framing Bucky Barnes took work, but it was necessary. He bided his time, finding the Winter Soldier’s handbook, setting a bomb. Finding the recording that would turn Tony Stark against Steve Rogers. Destroying that trust. Destroying two of the big three. 

But there he was, sitting in his cell at the Joint Counter Terrorist Center. 

“There were memories of Zemo approaching them.” Wanda explained. “Both in the same way, he came to them. Hired them.” Zemo was sitting on his bunk, reading. 

“I’m going to go down there tomorrow,” Sharon explained, “Make sure it’s actually him.” She looked to the people in the room. “If he’s somehow escaping or if this is someone else using a disguise… we’ll have a big problem on our hands. 

“EKO Scorpion was like Sokovia’s own private STRIKE team. A kill squad of the highest caliber. If he’s on the streets…” Sam continued, “We need to get him back off of them, by any means necessary.” 

The Avengers. Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, Bruce Banner, Peter Parker, King T’Challa, Scott Lang, Clint Barton. And those were the ones currently on planet. 

Crime had been low since the blip in general. When half of the population disappeared people were more worried about picking themselves back up off the ground rather kicking other people while they were already down. After it was reversed there was chaos in bringing everyone back. Sure there were petty crimes, always. But nothing to the magnitude that Zemo could bring if this intel was true. 

No one outside this room could be trusted. 

“Not even Y/N.” Sharon claimed. Bucky bristled at the thought. They had to keep you in the dark on this. You could be a pawn in a bigger game. The more you knew, the less they could protect you Bucky reasoned. But Sharon was covering bases. It was what she was good at. You weren’t an Avenger. You weren’t an agent. 

“She’s a liability.” Sharon continued, “While Zemo still seems to want her she’ll stay on base and Bruce, you continue your testing, but I think it’s for the best that we still treat her like an outsider.” It makes sense. Bucky and Sam shared a look, Wanda visibly tensed in front of them. 

“She has nothing to do with this,” Wanda defended, “The attack-”

“We just need to cover all of our bases,” Sharon reiterated, “She came out almost completely unharmed from an attack with five men where she’s completely untrained. We still don’t know the capacity in which the heart is affecting her and until we do, we have to treat her like she’s a patient. Keep your distance.” She was not winning them over, “At least until we figure out more of what’s going on.” She nodded to Sam who stood from his chair, coming to the end of the conference table. 

“Zemo is dangerous,” Sam started, “Obviously, the dude has no moral compass.” His hands rested on the table looking at the group, “Sharon, you and Wanda are going to JCTC to meet with Zemo… get in his head, make sure he is who he says he is.” His eyes shifted to Peter Parker, 

“Pete you’re going to help Bruce here with Y/N, we have to expedite the testing unfortunately, Bucky and Clint will take the streets. Zemo has to have some sort of base nearby. Scott and I will be going through CCTV footage around the city and looking into old EKO Scorpion members.” He stood tall, hands on his hips, looking back to the monitors behind him, looking more like Cap than ever, “T’Challa is going to look through different avenues internationally looking into his old stomping grounds.

Alright, we all have our assignments. Let’s get it done.” 

“It’s not fair to her,” Wanda started, “Not letting her know what’s going on.” Bucky and Sam frowned in unison. 

“I don’t like it either,” Sam said, “But she’ll immediately know who Zemo is and she’ll know what kind of threat she’s up against. She needs to finish her testing, see what’s fully going on.” He stepped off the elevator onto the compounds resident floor. 

“She’ll hurt herself otherwise.” Bucky agreed. “We just have to keep her in the dark until we find out what exactly is going on here. None of us like it.” 

Wanda felt unsure if that really was the best avenue of defense, but didn’t really have much room to disagree. 

Bucky watched from the other side of the glass as you laughed, Eric was looking a little better today. The swelling had gone down a bit, the charming bastard was talking to you, closely. Your full attention on him as he told you a story about his youth. Head propped up by your hand, elbow on the armrest of the chair. You were enraptured. It gave Bucky a strange feeling in his chest.  

Something was off about this guy and Bucky couldn’t figure out what. Wanda cleared him. ‘No ill will’ was found in his mind, but he really liked you. That’s what she said to him. He didn’t feel comfortable with Eric getting close to you. He was unconsciously clenching his fists on the other side of the glass. 

“It was very embarrassing.” Eric laughed, “Here I was on my very first date with a girl, thirteen years old, and I threw up in the middle of the movie.” 

“I’m surprised you’d ever dated again.” You humored. You liked him. You did. 

When you had explained what happened to you, describing how in your chest rested the heart of the deceased Steve Rogers and you’d been experiencing his memories, he took it in silently. He really listened. Yes, you’d told Wanda everything. But Bucky and Sam were a different story. Bucky was a different story. He didn’t want to hear it, the one you wanted to talk to the most. 

He wasn’t ready, and that’s okay.

But Eric was. Eric was ready for whatever you had to throw at him. “It really makes you think about how the heart and the head really work together, huh.” He smiled. You’d vented to him, honestly. About how hard it was to have all of these friends who don’t know who you are. To have all of these heartstrings pulled every day. You’d told him about the research Bruce was doing. Only a little. Just enough for him to know that they were working on figuring out how to get the memories to stop, or at least manageable. 

You’d caught Bucky when he’d moved in front of the glass. He stood there for a moment watching before tapping two metal fingers against it and curling them towards him. C’mere. 

“I’ll be back.” You told Eric, removing yourself from the room. You could feel his eyes on you from his hospital bed from the other side of the glass. “What’s up?” You’d wrapped your arms around yourself, pulling your cardigan closely around your body as you stood across from the super soldier. “Did you find out who they’re working for?” His face was tense, you knew that face. “What happened?” His eyes wouldn’t meet yours. 

So it was bad news. 

“I’m gonna have to go away for a bit.” He said. Your heart panged in your chest, “We’re going out to find who they are and what they want,” He glanced into the hospital room, Eric’s eyes steadily focused on the television there. “But I’m gonna be off compound for a bit.” You sighed, nodding, following his eyes into the hospital room. 

“When do you leave?” You asked. His eyes finally met yours, 

“In twenty.” You didn’t know what to do here, but you were happy he’d come to tell you. He cared enough to let you know that he’d be leaving. “You have my number in your phone?” Your heart skipped a beat. 

“Yeah.” You breathed, the room feeling a little warmer.

“If you need anything,” He said, “I might not answer right away, but--”

“I understand.” He shifted awkwardly in front of you, eyes drifting to your feet. He seemed to be debating something. His hand slowly reached for your arm, gently pulling you to his chest, wrapping his arms around you tightly, resting his face in your hair. Your heart was racing, arms coming to wrap around him just as tightly.

“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back.” Whispered softly in your hair, tears welling up in your eyes, you rolled them to the ceiling trying to stop them from falling, but it was useless. 

“How can I?” You let out a watery laugh, the hug ended and your teary eyes met his, “You’re taking all the stupid with you.” He smirked, eyes betraying sadness, stepping back from you before turning and walking down the hall, giving you one last lingering glance as the elevator doors close. 

“What was that about?” Eric asked as you reentered the room. You pushed your hair out of your face, tucking the strands behind your ears. 

“Just leaving for a mission,” You sat back in the chair. “He just wanted to check in on me.” Eric nodded, picking at the sheet. 

“Should I be worried?” You laughed softly, heart aching. 

“We’re just friends, if that’s what you’re asking.” He smirked, 

“It was.” 

Peter Parker was energetic. The eighteen year old kid who just started college moved across the lab on a wheeled chair. Skating from one side to the other. You’d watched him do this at least four times before he spun in a circle fast enough to make you dizzy before his eyes met yours in the doorway, cheeks turning red. “H-hi.” He stuttered. 

“You must be Peter.” The young boy smiled, rolling his chair back to the desk with his feet. 

“Peter Parker, yeah.” You’d known of him. Spider-Man who turned out to be just a teenage boy. You’d never seen him swinging around NYC in person, but you’d seen videos. It was pretty cool. You’d also been told by Bruce that he was extremely smart, he was currently studying biophysics at ESU on a full ride. 

“I’m Y/N.” You sat in the rolling chair across from him. 

“Yeah, I know.” He said, “Well, like, recently they just showed us your picture so.” He swallowed, placing his hands on his knees.  He cleared his throat, looking behind you as Bruce entered.

“You ready?” 

“Okay so, if we use the two dollars I have saved and the three you have saved we should have enough.” Bucky counted the coins laid out on the table in front of the two of you. Water sat still on the stove behind him. The wallpaper was floral and cracking in some places. 

This was their apartment. 

Three potatoes sat next to the stove, ready to be boiled and buttered for dinner. The beef chuck Bucky had brought home earlier in the day sat wrapped in paper next to them. “What do you think?” Bucky was looking at you expectantly. 

God he is beautiful. Here domestic. His hair was soft, he hadn’t put any pomade in it, a soft curl on his forehead. Eyes bright and young. Soft blush pink lips smiling at you. At Steve. 

“I don’t know Buck,” You sighed, finger picking at the doily tablecloth. “I don’t think we should waste our money on it.” Money was hard to come by. Buck pulled long shifts at the canary, but Steve was scraping by selling funnies to the paper. They had just enough. This five extra dollars took a long time to collect and you—Steve—couldn’t justify spending it. Not on himself anyway. 

“Listen,” Bucky licked his lips, “You’re a really good artist, and this would get you some watercolors, a couple canvases, and a new sketchbook. You haven’t painted since your Ma passed buddy.” Your fingers were itching to do it. You wanted to. You did.

“Nah Buck we should save it.” Bucky’s face fell, looking down to the table at their pile of coins. “Maybe use it to fix up some stuff around here. The radiator rattles and winter was coming. Should be enough to get it fixed.” Bucky nodded, moving some of the coins around before slipping them back into the coffee tin. Placing it in the cabinet he turned his back to Steve.

“Just figured it’d make you happy is all.” Bucky mumbles, beginning to chop the potatoes into chunks.

“I am happy Buck.”

Your eyes focused, staring back at the picture of the tubes of paint on the screen in front of your face. 

“Doing alright?” Bruce’s voice came over the microphone in the machine.

You sigh heavily, “Yeah I’m fine.” 

“That wasn’t as bad of a reaction as you’ve been having.” Bruce explained. “Maybe your body is adjusting.” The bed moved, pulling you from the machine where Peter was waiting to unlock the plastic cage around your face, helping you sit from the bed. 

“Thanks Peter.” The teenager smiled, 

“No problem.” The two of you looked at Bruce who sat silently replaying the brain scan. “What do you think is happening Dr. Banner?” 

“Whenever a memory is triggered, one of Steve’s memories,” He started, “It triggers your amygdala and hippocampus just as your actual memory would.” His eyes met yours through the glass. “I’m going to start you on some seizure medication, I think that’s all we can do right now.”

Bucky stared at his phone. No notifications. But why would there be. There would probably be no reason for you to text him anyway. He hoped. No news is good news. Other than the steady updates from Sam of which direction the van carrying Zemo’s thugs had come from there was a fair amount of radio silence. 

Clint stood, hands on his hips in front of the counter at the coffee shop, “Okay Romeo,” the archer quipped, “Whaddya want?” Bucky rolled his eyes, 

“To find the base.” Clint gave him a steady glare before turning to the barista, 

“He’ll have a large black coffee.” It was cold today. Colder than it had been. Fall was finally settling in. Leaves crunched under his boots as he stared down the alley he’d saved you in just two days before. The guy, Eric, his blood was still smeared across the bricks, dried, almost imperceptible to the naked eye. 

“Got the guy good, huh?” Clint took a sip of his latte. Bucky nodded and Clint added, “A little too good.” Their eyes met.

“You can feel it too?” Bucky asked. Clint shrugged. 

“Something is off about it.” He crouched down to study the boot impressions on the ground. Distinctively looking at the soles and seeing all the thugs were wearing the same kind of boots. He took a picture with his phone. “The guy gets beaten within an inch of life, but Y/N barely had a hair out of place.” 

“So are you suspicious of Y/N or of Eric?” Bucky was defensive. He could never believe you had anything to do with this. Clint smirked, 

“She’s really friendly with you.” He stood, exiting the alley. “And Sam…. Wanda too.” The pair started in the direction Sam instructed them to follow. “Wanda trusts her, so I do too. That guy though…”

“You can feel it in your gut right?” Bucky asked. Clint nodded at him as he turned a corner.

“I can feel it in my gut.” 

“Wanda said he was clear, and you trust her.” That was what Clint said about you. The pair continued to walk, eyeing the security cameras on the corner. 

“She said he had no ill will towards Y/N, that doesn’t mean something else isn’t wrong with him.” So Bucky wasn’t crazy. He’d be sure to talk to Sam about it later, but for now, looking down at his phone he fought the urge to text you. To tell you to stay away from Eric. And maybe you would listen. If he’d asked you to do it for him. 

“How are you feeling?” Eric looked a little better. The swelling almost completely gone around his face, just bruises turning yellow and green. He smiled softly at you. 

“A lot better today.” Your fingers tightened around your phone as you settled into the seat, the tv ambling softly in the background. It’s only been a day but you missed Bucky. You always saw him at some point whether it was during a meal, the morning jog you’d begun taking up, or in passing in the hall. His absence was felt. 

“Good,” You smiled back. “Getting bored down here?” The handsome man shrugged. 

“It’s not so bad.” He gestured towards the tv, “I haven’t watched The Price is Right in a long time.” You hummed in response. 

“When do they think you’ll be out of here?” Eric shrugged,

“End of the week maybe,” He looked at you softly, “I was thinking,” Your heart skipped in your chest, “Maybe they need some extra help? I was a Master Sergeant in the marines. I’ve done tactical work. Strategy.” Oh. You weren’t expecting that.

“I’m sure you can talk to Sam about it.” You offered. “He’s in charge of all that stuff.” You picked a fuzz ball off your leggings. 

Eric nodded, “I just wanna help find the guys who did this. Whoever is after you.” His warm hand enveloped yours, thumb rubbing soothingly. “It’s not fair…” He said softly, “The hand you’ve been dealt.” Your other hand gently lay over his, heart thrumming,

“It’s more than I expected honestly.” You shrugged, “I never thought I would live this long.”

“It’s weird being here, right?” You asked. The hot breezes here in Wakanda made sweat drip down the back of your neck. It was warm here, warmer than where you just were. Bucky sat across from you, staring out into the lake in front of his hut. 

“Yeah,” His gruff voice was scratchy, fingers picking at blades of grass. His eyes met yours, “I never thought I’d live this long.” You nodded.

“Neither did I pal,” the sun was setting over the horizon, “Thought we’d go home after the war.” You cleared your throat, “Settle down somewhere close, marry some dames,” Your throat felt tight, “Have kids.” Bucky nodded.

“It feels like so long ago.” It was. It was so long ago. Bucky has just come back out of the ice last week. A small hydra cell that Steve, Sam, and Natasha had taken out just before receiving the call that Bucky was awake. And asking for him. You. Your heart fluttered at the thought. 

You missed him.

“Things are different now, Buck.” You felt him tense next to you. Words unspoken. Your heart aching. “Just another obstacle to get through.” Bucky shook his head, laughing darkly.

“The obstacle of me murdering innocent people you mean.” You sighed heavily, shaking your head.

“It wasn’t—“

“It was.” Bucky stopped you. “It was me.” His fist clenched on the few blades of grass in his hand. “I did it. I did all of it. Whether I was in control or not their blood is still on my hands.” The guilt. The feeling of, I should have gone back for him. I should have went to retrieve his body. It sat heavily in your gut. 

“Bucky,” Your voice came out as a whisper, hand coming to rest on your friend’s shoulder, “You were a gun. Hydra made you that way, but you’re not that person. You’ve never—“

He scoffed at you, shrugging your hand from his shoulder, “I killed people before Hydra.” Standing to leave, “I killed Germans all over fucking Europe. Who knows if they really believed in what they were doing or—or if they were just dumb kids like us?” He ran his fingers through his long tangled hair, “I kept your hands clean Steve.” His eyes watery, “I kept your hands clean.”

A soft jostle and you were back, sickening guilt in your gut. “Hey,” Eric looked concerned. “Are you okay? You kinda just… your eyes rolled back in your head.” You had a headache. 

“Yeah,” You breathed, “Just a memory.” Eric frowned, 

“What was it about?” You shake your head, 

“It doesn’t matter.” You stood from the chair, “I need to go lay down for a bit. I’ll be back later.” Eric sat back in his bed, studying you for a minute.

“You can talk to me, you know that right?” His voice calm. You nodded, 

“I’m gonna go take a nap.” The second you closed the door tears started rolling down your cheeks. The fucking guilt. Jesus the guilt. You’d felt it before. Every time you looked at the people Steve left behind you felt guilt, but this pit of despair in your stomach was making you nauseous. 

You had to find Sam. 

-

The Joint Counter Terrorist Center was in Europe. It had taken a few hours by jet to arrive but Sharon remembered it from where Zemo had first interviewed Barnes. Where he’d pulled the pin on the Avengers. He sat in a glass cell in a lower floor. Four guards stationed around at all times. They worked on four hour shifts staggered so once an hour a guard would be replaced. 

Even if you could figure out how to get out of the cell you’d have to get past four guards, get through six floors of high level clearance and make it off the grounds without being seen. 

“It should be impossible.” Sharon stated, “He shouldn’t be able to get out of here.” There were five camera angles, one on each side of the box and one giving an aerial view. Wanda examined them closely, looking from one screen to the next watching Zemo sitting on his bed watching the small television he’d been allowed. 

“I saw him,” Wanda said, “He told them where Y/N frequents and that he wanted her alive and unharmed.” Sharon looked at her friend, 

“Unharmed?” She asked. 

Wanda nodded, “Unharmed.” Zemo’s eyes shifted, looking directly at the camera Wanda had been looking into. A chill went down her spine. 

“Ready to go down?” Sharon started towards the elevator. Wanda nodded slowly, walking backwards to the elevator before the two took the six floors down to the containment area. 

The air was cold in here. Meant to make him slightly uncomfortable. No one really cared about convicted terrorist’s comfort. He sat idly in his cell, a Sokovian game show playing on the small tv. He didn’t look up when they entered. 

“It’s not often I’m given the pleasure of company,” He smirked, “Especially not two beautiful women.” 

Wanda felt uncomfortable in his presence. Her skin crawled. 

“Cut the shit Zemo.” Sharon’s authoritative voice spoke, “I’m sure you know why we are here.” Zemo’s eyes drug themselves from the screen, meeting hers. Smiling.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” Wanda rolled her eyes, crossing her arms against the cold, or maybe to feel more distance between herself and Zemo. Red tendrils curling around her finger tips. 

“What do you want her for?” Sharon didn’t need to say who. The three of them knew who they were talking about. Zemo didn’t answer. Wanda reaches out to him, it looked like red smoke, billowing from her fingertips, entering through the quarter inch holes in the glass to curl around Zemo’s head. His devilish eyes grinning back at her as she searched. 

Her eyes widened and she hastily spoke, “It’s not him.” Zemo was gone. The man, whoever he was, laughed from behind the glass. The nanoskin he was wearing shifted as he pulled it from his face. The guards standing in the corners of the room pulled their guns, but not on the Zemo impersonator. On Sharon and Wanda.

-

“Hey,” You knocked gently on the office door. Sam looked up from the multiple screens he had in front of him. A man you knew as Scott Lang sitting at a desk adjacent with the same amount of screens. “I’m sorry to interrupt,” You shifted nervously. 

“Scott, you can take this for a minute?” Sam looked to his partner. Scott nodded, 

“Sure thing.” You could see a little black piece of tech sitting in Sam’s ear as he stepped into the hall, shutting the door behind him.

“Are you okay?” He asked, hands coming to rest on your arms. You sighed heavily, eyes still watering.

“I just had another memory.” You whispered, “I’m just left with all this guilt.” Your head was pounding. “I don’t know what to do with it.” Sam nodded, understanding. 

“Steve’s guilt?” He asked. 

“Yeah,” Your tongue felt heavy in your mouth, “I just—I don’t know how to not feel this.” You placed a hand over your heart. “It just hurts.” You shrugged dismissively, “I’m sorry, I don’t want to bother you with this.” 

“You’re not bothering me with anything Y/N.” Sam sighed, “Listen, I’m not going to pretend like I have any clue what you’re going through but I know Steve—I knew Steve and he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.” Sam’s hands rubbed your arms comfortingly, “This guilt that you’re feeling he carried around with him wherever he went and I’m sorry that you’re burdened with this, but it’s good you’re willing to talk about it.” You wiped under your eye, “Go rest for a bit, maybe take a bath—“

“Cap.” The office door wretched back open, Scott’s panicked face on the other side. “We’ve lost contact with Sharon and Wanda.” You felt your heart stop as you looked back up at Sam. His face having gone serious. 

“Sam, where were they?” You asked, placing a hand on his arm. 

He wouldn’t look at you as he reentered the office, walking around to the computer screens where you could now see half of New York. A couple keystrokes and it shifted to a cell. A cell containing a man sitting and watching a small tv. “Is that Zemo?” You looked at the men for answers. Sam wouldn’t look you in the eye.

“Y/N please go to your room.” His stern voice, his Captain voice. You bristled with anger.

“What the fuck does Zemo have to do with this?” You remembered Zemo. Of course you remembered Zemo. Your memory would remind you of a news report. Steve’s memory however, reminded you of the vicious fight. The torn friendship. The guilt. The fucking guilt. Sam looked up at you from the screen.

“You don’t have clearance for this,” Sam’s eyes were apologetic but his voice still tough, “Go to your room.” You hated this. You really did. In a split second your brain decided for you, just go. Obey orders. That’s what Steve would do. You could do research in your own time. After all, you had Steve’s memories which means you had a lot of passwords too. 

That’s what Steve would do too.

 .

.

.

taglist //  @nutellakirb​ @witch-of-letters​ @torntaltos​ @emotionallysalty​ @an-lover​ @albinotigerpython​  @bookish-shristi​ @saturnki​ @jennmurawski13​ @geeksareunique​ @the-soulofthedevil

[tinycrow]

I don’t believe in miracles

Chapter 5: To keep you safe

General Rules for citizens of the Antarctic City (abridged):

The following rules are subject to change.

No divulging of any secrets of the Antarctic City to anyone not listed as a citizen of the Antarctic City. Secrets are—but not limited to—the location of said city, technology, or the names/existence of other citizens of the Antarctic City.

No theft/removal of technology, resources, or sparklings (youngest frame, also known as ‘the children’) from the boundaries of the Antarctic City. This excludes food, drink, and most luxuries, which can all be replaced.

Lying about acquisitions using funding from the Antarctic City is a punishable offence.

No unauthorized ground bridge (Gate Room) access.

No unauthorized defence system access.

No unauthorized forge access.

Hacking into any network and evading the appropriate methods of access is a punishable offence.

No illegal street-fighting.

No illegal street-racing.

==

One month later...

Even though they butted helms sometimes over the care of sparklings, Ratchet not only got his permits but also gained Ray’s confidence within a month after the first visit, though he didn’t know it yet. It was a persistent month spent at the Antarctic City with little Decepticon activity elsewhere in the world and no serious injuries to mend. Sideswipe did manage to damage part of his arm from messing with his blaster, which brought more of Ironhide’s ire than Ratchet’s own.

All the Autobots managed to get at least two visits to the strange city by that time except for Optimus, who had spent the entire month trying to dismiss the humans’ worries about their prisoner escaping. All in all, it was a good month, considering the circumstances.

It was a nervous but perky Ray that greeted the Autobots in the Gate Room, again.

“Hi, Ratchet! Oh, hey Sideswipe!”

“You don’t need to greet us here every time. We know the way by now,” Ratchet grumped, though with no real fire behind it.

Sideswipe grinned, skating smoothly around her as he remarked, “Well, I’m not complaining. Hey, gorgeous.”

Ray audibly vented air to lower her core temperature. She could give it but not take it, it seemed.

“Yes, well,” Ray scrambled to say, “It’s—it’s nice to see you again.”

Highly amused by her reaction, Sideswipe responded, “It’s- It’s nice to see you, too.”

“Don’t you start,” Ratchet warned.

“You worry too much, Hatchet.”

Sideswipe skated over to the door, and turned around to face Ray, servos on his hips. “We should get some Energon sometime.”

Ray’s optics focused intensely on the cocky frontliner. Ratchet seemed to frown at him.

“Yes. Let’s,” she said sweetly, keeping it short to avoid stuttering.

When the warrior left, the medic turned to Ray, a question in his optics.

“Do you mind if I accompany you for a while? Otherwise I can just head to the forge to make some tools.”

Ray jumped a little when he spoke, which confused Ratchet even more. He tensed, thinking back to figure out what he may have done to warrant that behaviour.

“Did I do something wrong? I apologize if I did—”

“No, no, no,” Ray responded fervently, “I’m just a little nervous... there’s something I wanted to show you.”

Ratchet calmed, and patiently waited for her to explain.

She started, “You’ve been very patient and... consistent, this past month. I really appreciate you taking what I said to heart—or, er, to spark. Ratchet, I think I can safely say I trust you.”

His optics widened in understanding.

“Follow me. I want to show you the Nursery.”

==

The door was deadlocked and secured by a number of physical and electronic methods. She even went so far as to explain the traps/weapons hidden in the wall and floor that would even stall a Cybertronian in the event of attempted break-in. Passing through the door, he noted the thickness of the walls, indicating layers of material that would insulate from not only heated blasts, but possibly other kinds of radiation. It would protect from most kinds of intrusion as well. Also, the placement of the building was conveniently near the Gate Room, so there’s easy evacuation. He was impressed but not at all surprised at how secure this building was. Surely, if the All-Spark had truly passed on its power, it had chosen one of the most paranoid mothers of their children. What did those humans call her?

Mother bear.

Shaking his helm, Ratchet turned his attention to the small crowd of impossible little lives, and their small blue or green optics staring up at him. Oh, this brought him back. There used to be so many young lives on Cybertron, too. The loss of the youth sectors was still felt today, millennia after.

Ray’s servo met his back, and in a show of compassion, patted him and crooned consolingly. Ratchet eventually gathered his composure and relaxed. Her servo lifted, but she still looked at him warily. He nodded to indicate he was alright.

“Being the only being capable of addressing any hurt or other problems with them, I used to be their only caretaker,” she told him, “but that number has expanded to include a number of older children as well as humans.”

“Who is watching them now?”

“There were a couple humans and one of my older younglings watching over them, but I told them to take a break while we’re here. Feeding time comes a bit later. We can watch them do so if you’d like.”

There was a break in conversation for a bit as Ratchet visually examined the little ones. Eventually, Ratchet broke the silence.

“I’m curious... why is it that you decided to make more of our kind? Especially in the current political climate. I know you’re aware of our war coming to Earth.”

Ray hummed, thinking on how to answer.

“Well, it’s a little hard to explain,” she said. “It’s like an urge. I know logically I could’ve just hidden and waited for more peaceful times. But something in me was... not quite telling me, but... urging me to do something. When Linda suggested I make a place of my own, then I realized what I wanted to do.”

She picked up one of the fussier children in a firm hold and held them near to her spark. The little one calmed, and Ratchet watched as she brought them to one of the rooms. He tried to move to follow, but a bunch of curious bodies stopped him. A couple obviously older children watched him warily from afar.

The sparklings chirped at him inquiringly, wide eyes blinking and focusing on him intently.

He softened and kneeled down carefully. “Hello, little ones,” he tried in Cybertronian.

They chirped and clicked in understanding, excitement causing them to bounce in place. One of the larger frames grabbed his hand and tried to lead him to where surprisingly a few Cybertronian-styled games were. He wondered at how Ray knew about these, for not being born on Cybertron. Sparklings of their kind were born fast learners and needed games that would challenge and stimulate their minds in ways different from humans. These games were just the kind they needed. Though he felt a little too old to play these, he acquiesced and let himself be led into a game with the children.

When Ray came back from the other room, it was to the sight of a too-large Ratchet sitting down at one of the games practicing math, reaction time and judgment. He was surrounded by tiny bodies making encouraging noises. She smiled sappily, and simply stood nearby with arms crossed.

She did not regret anything in that moment.

==

Linda was laughing at her.

“Man, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this nervous before,” the woman remarked with great amusement.

The much taller femme was pacing and occasionally wiping down imaginary dirt/smudges on her plating with a large cloth. Her voice dripped with embarrassment and nerves as she almost pleaded with her human best friend, “Linda, it has been too long since I’ve been on a date with someone. What do I talk about? What do we do?”

“Woah, slow down. I imagine it’s just like how you would go for coffee with someone. You ask them about their day, how they’ve been doing, how’s work, ask them questions about themselves like... ‘Do you have any hobbies’ or ‘Do you like jazz’.”

Ray, tired of being nervous, stopped pacing and muttered reassuringly to herself, “Right, right.”

“Hey, look at me,” Linda called to her, and the femme did so, “You’ve got this. You’re a good person, and great to be around. If they get bored or whatever, that’s their problem and not yours.”

“Thanks, Lin’.”

“You know, we should go for coffee sometime, too. Maybe you won’t get kidnapped this time.”

They both laughed, even though they doubted it.

Later in the day, Ray went to the Gate Room. The console had no one manning it because it wasn’t a workday for the warehouse workers. To her knowledge, there weren’t any other planned ground bridges. It would be her job to open the gate for her ‘date’. She checked her internal clock and decided to briefly comm them asking if it was all clear. Receiving the OK, she walked up to the console. A few taps to its controls brought the shining feat of engineering to life.

In a much more relaxed fashion than the usual, Sideswipe rolled in through the bridge. Ray’s countenance brightened when she saw him, and forgetting her nerves for a moment, she greeted him like usual. His neutral expression broke into a lopsided grin when he saw her.

“Why, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he teased.

A little used to his teasing by now, she simply placed a servo on her hip and replied, “I could say the same to you, handsome.” Her spark quivered nervously in her chest.

“You can close the ground bridge. It’s only me today.”

As she closed the bridge, something niggled in the back of her processor that something was up with the mech. It was distracting. She just couldn’t place what it was. His demeanour didn’t give away that anything was wrong, he looked fine and relaxed, but something...

“You know,” Ray said, pretending to think, “You look like you could use a drink.”

Sideswipe joked back, “I’m surprised I hadn’t thought of that.”

She giggled and stepped toward the door with him in tow. Before they could leave the general warmth of the building, she raised her arm, stopping him. He focused on her with a questioning tilt of his helm. Her happy expression darkened to something less cute, and she looked him up and down with a considering rumble from her vocaliser. Not expecting this forwardness, he didn’t have a comeback ready. He felt something stir in him as he opened his dermas to say something.

She interrupted softly, “I was joking earlier, but you really do look like you could use a drink.”

Sideswipe simply blinked at her, having to go back and reframe her earlier action as... Was that concern? How’d she even—aaand she was gone.

He was fast to follow her out the building. They weren’t that far from the Energon dispensary, as it was apparently called, so they didn’t bother driving. He rolled up beside her, and they slowed to a comfortable ambling pace.

Sideswipe examined his companion. She was the same height he was, which admittedly was great for a change. Her movements were smooth and her heel struts barely clacked when they touched the ground, traits that he would usually associate with a light-footed fighter or a dancer. He would need to see her run to know for sure. Her shoulders though gave her true feelings away—she was tense.

His earlier question of how she knew he wasn’t feeling alright was set aside. He started by asking her what she’s been up to, and how her children were. Her tone was nonchalant at first, but when she got to talking about her children, it shifted to something more genuine. She was invested in what she was saying. They continued talking about life in the city until they reached the dispensary.

This is nice, the femme thought. She realized suddenly that her earlier nerves had been vanquished by the trivial conversation. Talking to Sideswipe came surprisingly easy. Maybe she had been overthinking things again.

They entered the dispensary, seeing a couple of her children just chilling together with some cubes of Energon. They walked up to the dispenser and the nearby computer that served as the menu.

Dispensary? It looked like a bar. This sparked a mischievous thought in Sideswipe, and he nudged Ray.

“Hey, I just thought of something. Have you ever tried making high-grade?”

In retrospect, it was a bad idea. But Ray indulged him anyway. It’s not like she ever reached her daily/monthly limits for Energon.

==

“And then by complete coincidence it bounced into the ‘cons store of Energon, causing a rippling explosion. You can just imagine their anger as their precious Energon stores blew up. One. By. One. It was... beautiful,” Sideswipe said as he pretended to wipe a tear from his optics.

The two were leaning so heavily on the table that they were almost touching helms. They were grinning like loons, sharing stories of crazy events in their past. They didn’t seem to notice this, or that they attracted the curiosity of some younglings dining nearby.

“I can’t believe you. Reckless, that’s what you are,” Ray laughed, shoulders shaking.

Sideswipe insisted cockily, “It’s not recklessness if you know what you’re doing. Besides, you can’t tell me you’ve never done something reckless before.”

“Well... there was this one time with Linda where we had to run away from some cops.”

“Go on,” Sideswipe encouraged.

“We... I had the brilliant idea to cross this drawbridge. While it was opening. Linda did not approve.”

She halted, wondering if this story would be as amusing to him as his stories were to her. At Sideswipe’s insistence, she continued.

“I remember her clearly panicking screams as the bridge drew up. I wasn’t that great at driving at the time, and I had neither the power or momentum. We almost didn’t make it. At the last second though, I used a partial transformation to shift the weight of the car so we would land properly. But the chase didn’t end there.”

She shook her helm slightly as she recounted what happened.

“We had made good time because of the drawbridge, but then more cop cars came out of nowhere followed by helicopters. Lin’ and I were yelling at each other over what we should do when up ahead I spied a... gosh, what was it called.” Her optics dimmed as she recited what she searched for on the internet, “1998 Dodge Viper RT.”

When her optics brightened, the story continued, “It was also speeding. As soon as we cleared the helicopter, I transformed into that instead. Keep in mind I wasn’t that great at driving yet, so weaving through traffic was this crazy sedan that magically disappeared on the roadway.”

She wasn’t sure if her story was as funny as the ones he had told. To her relief, Sideswipe tittered in amusement. He commented, “I knew you had it in you.”

“What, to be a criminal?”

They shared a laugh.

After a while, Ray commented thoughtfully, “I’ve been switching alt forms for a while, though I haven’t found one I want to keep.”

He straightened suddenly at the mention, eyeing her critically and saying, “You know what would look good on you? I think...”

==

Many hours later, the two stumbled out of the ‘bar’, an undeniably inebriated Sideswipe holding up a completely plastered Ray.

His vocaliser skipped, hiccupped if you will, as he said, “Wh-oa, gorgeous. You don’t ha-ndle your high-grade well.”

“Youuuu,” she slurred impetuously, attempting to turn to face him.

The shifting weight caused Sideswipe to stumble a bit, but he managed to catch her before she could fall. He wasn’t so drunk that he didn’t realize how close their sparks were in this new position. He could feel his own pulsing faster as she looked up at him with those very green and very rare optics. Damn. Green is a nice colour.

He replied softly, “Me?”

“You keep saying tha-t,” she vocalised quieter, as if she was suddenly aware of how close they were.

He brought his helm closer to hers, asking, “Sa-ying what?”

“Gorgeousss,” she mumbled in reply.

Blinking, he smiled at her, “Just sta-ting how I see it. Do you want me to sto-p?”

She moved her helm closer, whispering, “No.”

==

:: Somewhere in the Indian Ocean ::

It was a very late and overcharged Sideswipe that slid quietly back through the ground bridge. Sending a comm to Ray, the bridge closed. He took a moment to straighten himself out. His fuel lines were filled with high-grade and his internal temperature was through the roof because he was suppressing his vents. He vented hard and relaxed as his temperature started dropping. It wasn’t so bad in the cold of Antarctica, but here it was much warmer.

He skated to the door, thinking up excuses to tell the others. He would have to avoid Ratchet for sure. As he opened the door, he startled as on the other side of the door was the very ‘bot he meant to avoid.

He sagged in defeat, muttering, “Slag.”

“Slag is right! Do you know how long we’ve been trying to contact you?”

“Aw, you do care!” Sideswipe joked, and then added, “Don’t worry about me, Ratchet. Just lost track of time.”

“Why are you venting so hard?” Ratchet’s optics narrowed in suspicion.

“Well it’s a little warm right now...” A scan hit him. “...And so I thought I’d chill for a bit—that’s really unnecessary.”

The sound of grinding metal reverberated as Ratchet bared his dentas at him. “Where in the pits of Kaon did you get that much high-grade?! You’re overcharged!”

==

:: Somewhere in America ::

All things considered, it could’ve gone much worse. While the Autobot leader didn’t so much care what his officers did in their off time, he cared about them ignoring their comms—intentional or not. Being enlisted in guard duty somewhere in the countryside with dirt clinging to every surface of his frame wasn’t the worst punishment. He wasn’t Sunny; he could take a bit of grime.

Granted, he was now forced to make conversation with some squishy organic he didn’t quite know, but he admitted the soldier he was ferrying wasn’t that bad. At least it got him out of that base in the middle of the ocean.

They were being sent to investigate a mysterious signal’s disappearance in a town close to their current position. Speaking of which, he could ‘see’ it now. He kept his senses alert, knowing that he could possibly be heading into a dangerous situation.

[zashamalkin]

New Match interview with Geno-12/1/20

The Match TV observer talks with Pittsburgh forward Yevgeny Malkin, who recently came to our studio, where he gave a bombing interview. But can you imagine how thrifty we are? One more interview remained in our store, and we decided to post it on the All-Russian Hockey Day."

- Eugene, not so long ago you intrigued the public when you posted a photo on Instagram. You are sitting opposite the actors Igor Vernik and Andrey Burkovsky, giving the signature: "Filming a movie!" What will your role be?

- This is how it happens - you put it out, and people don't understand it that way! It was just a joke! We were invited to the theater, and after the performance we went backstage to say hello and chat with friends. A friend took a picture of us, and such an unusual shot turned out.

And you must somehow intrigue the audience! I also dream of catching my hype in this life!

Do you believe the NHL season kicks off on January 1?

“I don’t believe in this date. Most likely moved to mid or late January. But these are my feelings. Because January 1 is close, and so far there is no specifics. Even we haven’t been announced yet when the training camp will open. What can we say about the press? There is also no information there. But there is nothing left. I think they just won't have time.

The KHL postponed the Week of Stars for a year, the IIHF canceled 28 tournaments. How has the coronavirus affected the 2020/21 hockey season?

- The last time this situation arose during a lockout in 2012. You then played for Magnitka, and at the beginning of January you returned to America. What prevented you from asking for rent in the KHL?

- I thought about it ... Maybe play? But they simply do not allow it - the contract is large, and there is a risk of injury. This is hockey, and you can break out of the blue. Imagine what the NHL announces - we start in mid-January. And you are already walking on crutches.

I am even afraid of such a situation myself. Now, if the NHL announces that there will be no season - of course, you can think about something and play in Russia, if possible.

But I hope that the league will announce its plans in the near future and the season will be saved. Although there is no specifics, and it's a little scary. You just don't know how to prepare. It seems like I want to train to the fullest. But you don't understand what date to bring yourself to.

- And how are you doing these days?

- Three or four players gathered. As usual, we skate to Morozovo with a coach. Ice for an hour. I also go to the gym at home, squat. While easy, in easy mode.

… It should be emphasized here that we spoke with Gino about three weeks ago. Maybe now he has changed the format of training, or at the start of the new NHL season, he got some insight. But until recently, there was an information vacuum in this topic.

- You were surprised when the youth team of Russia was taken to the Eurotrip, and she broke everyone there?

- Yes, I just have no words! In general, I think that the Eurotour should be a youth tournament. It is clear that the youth world championship is usually held on New Year's Eve. This is a special case. But one more competition won't hurt.

And the more you give young people to play, the easier it is for them to open up. The KHL club is headed by a foreign coach. He realizes that he doesn't have much time. He wants to do the result right now. He doesn't want to pretend to young people. Especially foreign specialists do not need it.

Some of them came just to make money. Someone wants to win the Gagarin Cup, but he was given a year or two for that. Of course, young people make mistakes, they get nervous, they are not so hard on the ice. And the coach is afraid to put the young even in the fourth link. It's easier for him to stick older and more reliable players there.

Well, the Eurotrip showed that young people need to be given more chances, and then they will have more confidence. Now we have won the Karjala Cup. Something is already happening in the KHL clubs, and on this wave they will shoot at the youth world championship.

Confidence is the thing. She's easy to lose, but scored a couple of goals, especially for the national team - and found her right away. Your wings grow behind your back, and you show hockey on a completely different level. Don't be afraid when you attract young people! This is our future, and sometimes even the present.

- The story with  Artem Dziuba showed that a hacked phone can seriously affect your life. How do you make sure someone doesn't hack you?

- We live in such a world that not just a hacked phone, but an inadvertently spoken word can break your life. See what's going on in America.

And how can you insure yourself against phone hacking? You just try not to make any mistakes. Do not store unnecessary information on your phone. But the world is such that even one word in someone's address can cause a fire. Say something about some movement or minority, and you don't know how millions of people will perceive it.

I don't know where this world is heading. But the topic is deep. However, I believe that a person should always have a second chance. You can always say that you were wrong and want to apologize.

- Recently you met with  Fedor Emelianenko . Has he impressed you?

- It was a short meeting, we crossed paths in Sanduny. We sat in different booths, went to the steam room to take a steam bath, and met there. And then they went out and took pictures in the foyer.

Fedor is very modest, charming. I can compliment him a lot! We exchanged phones. He said to call anytime. A very friendly person. And he is really the Emperor, as he is called. He speaks little, but everything is on the case.

- Recently, Match TV voted for the best athlete. Do you think Alexander Ovechkin deservedly won it, and for whom did you vote?

- In general, my name was also in the voting. Who should I vote for? For myself, clicked-clicked, gained three percent.

Ovechkin won, so everything is deserved. The man has won everything in hockey - both the Stanley Cup and individual prizes. In reality, I think he is the most recognizable sportsman in Russia.

- Who do you root for in figure skating?

- Weird question! I am always rooting for Russians. And individually - not for anyone. Somehow you need to follow this sport in order to understand. I only watch this topic when they perform at the Olympics. I root for both  Medvedev and  Zagitova ... Of course, there is a lot of competition between them. I know such scandals happen there! They change coaches, then go abroad, then return. They have a serious Santa Barbara there!

But I wish them all the best. The main thing is to do without injuries. In fact, they are all great, they won all the tournaments. And our figure skating is very strong in Russia. It has always been and will be number one. I know that people watch and love this sport. And the ratings are off scale there. And take only the first places!

- What do you think about the 2022 Olympics in Beijing, where NHL players can take part? You have participated in three Games, but have not won a single medal.

- I try not to talk a lot about it. Yes, there are three Stanley Cups. But, of course, you also think about Olympic gold. I understand that time is slowly running out. I hope that I will still be able to go to the Winter Games. And I really believe that this Olympics, first of all, will take place, despite the difficult time. And I believe that I will be in good shape, and I will be invited to the squad. There are many great players in Russian hockey. God grant that everything will turn out right, we will get together and show an excellent game. But it's too early to talk about it now. The only thing you can do right now is to keep yourself in optimal shape and do without injury.

[yoificfinder]

hi! i hope youre well! do you have any personal favorite otayuri fics? thank you so much!

I'm doing fine, thanks nonnie! Some of the Victuuri fics I recced have Otayuri as a secondary pairing so do check out the masterlist if you haven't yet. And here are other fics I enjoyed with Otayuri as the main pairing:

(Almost) Made It by Mtrash (Makaria) [E, 35K] *WIP

He sees the blond young man and his first thought is - pretty.

His second thought is - he’s going to die.

(AU where they fall in love while killing zombies and trying not to get eaten. Fun times.)

adventures in personal growth series by stutter [T and E, 23K]

Summary of first fic:

When Victor was his age - younger, even, Yuri thinks, shame blooming in his chest - he’d made the whole world fall in love with him already. The long hair, the soft smile, the way he moved like he had a secret in his skin and he couldn't wait to share it with you. Yuri’s watched the tapes over and over. He could skate any of Victor’s early routines in his sleep. But he can't - the thing Victor could do so easily, the casual, guileless charisma he threw like a shadow - Yuri can't manage it on a single person, not even some moody Kazakh with a dumb haircut whose eyes are too far apart anyway -

(In Park Guell, Yuri takes a hard fall. Otabek picks him up.)

Amor Vincit Omnia by @AuthorMAGrant [E, 80K]

Otabek Altin is the Brotherhood's most diligent soldier, expertly hunting and killing the vampiric enemies of humanity, until he faces a bloodthirsty Russian punk named Yuri who kicks his ass ... and captures his attention as no one else ever has. The lines between hatred and lust blur, and the deeper Otabek falls into Yuri's world, the more he questions the Brotherhood and its orders. Now, what should have been a simple eradication trip to America has become a fight to determine whether Otabek will remain the obedient soldier of his youth or the warrior who may earn a love he's never deserved.

Cities in Dust series by @blownwish-blog [E, 52K] *Underage + aside from Otayuri, also contains Pliroy, Jjbek, and Otapliroy

Summary of first fic:

Yuri Plisetsky met them both on his knees in the boys' room. One would stay, the other could not. America was one fucked up country.

(The 80s high school au you didn't ask for.)

constellations by @worldofcopperwings [T, 2K]

His fingers drop from his hair and slide over the skin above his left hipbone. On the previously unmarked expanse of skin, there is a web of dark lines, connecting to form a geometric outline of a bear.

A soulmark. Yuri furrows his brow. He has a fucking soulmark, and it sure as hell wasn’t there when he showered before work. Which means the person the universe considers predestined for Yuri was at the venue tonight, prompting the emergence of the mark.

Yuri frowns at the bear adorning his hip. He doesn’t subscribe to the concept of soulmates. It’s complete bullshit that someone else gets to decide who Yuri should be with.

From Almaty, With Love series by BoxWineConfessions [E, 155K]

Summary of first fic:

It’s quiet here. Even if the car alarm on the neighbor’s goddamn BMW has been going off for the past twenty minutes. Quiet, even though the alarm’s got the neighbor’s dog howling like crazy, and the neighbor works second shift and isn’t there to comfort the dumb dog.

It’s quiet…They haven’t spoken to each other since that morning, when Yuri went off to go see his tutor, and Otabek went off to do whatever the hell it was he did in the mornings before he hit the rink.

“You’re used to the noise?”

“Yeah, but…I think I like the quiet too.”

Or: Yuri spends the summer with Otabek in Almaty.

hood & glove by @fahye, @hawberries [T, 12K]

"I don't mess with the fae," Otabek says.

"I'm not asking you to mess with them," JJ flat-out lies.

Howl by Anna (arctic_grey) / @finleighsaid [E, 72K]

Yuri Plisetsky may have been a seasoned figure skater at the age of nineteen, but in hindsight he should have known that a steep learning curve was due: his new coach Viktor was in overdrive over his pregnant mate Yuuri Katsuki, who was now retired and waddling around the rink like a ticking time bomb. St. Petersburg was having the hottest summer in decades, training was gruelling, and for the first time since they’d met, Yuri and Otabek began to fall out. Over what, Yuri wasn’t even sure: it was almost as if casual sex with your best friend eventually came with consequences.

OR the alpha!Yuri and alpha!Otabek love slamdown, with a side of obnoxious Viktuuri.

let's not overanalyze by @alykapediaaa [T, 4K]

“I’ve put worse things inside my mouth,” Otabek says, deadpan, prompting a strangled noise from Yuri.

Yuri hisses and tries very hard not to think about the things Otabek had put in his mouth. He fails. “I’m disowning you.”

(Or: Yuri Plisetsky has a crush. Again.)

songs about love series by sarahyyy [T, 8K]

Summary of first fic:

“Are you not going to read the article?” she asks, flopping onto his bed. “Look who ranked second, just after Phichit Chulanont.”

Otabek reluctantly scrolls down, and oh.

#2 - Yuri Plisetsky 

In the embedded Instagram photo just under that subheading, a very grumpy Yuri is cuddling a very grumpy-looking cat. The caption reads: I found the cat version of me at the shelter today. #iknowisaidnomorecats #canyoublameme

(Or, the AU where Otabek and Yuri don't becomes friends in Barcelona, and there are years of pining.)

what's a mob to a king, what's a king to an emo teenager? by @crossroadswrite [T, 12K]

Yuri has very clear and specific instructions about how he should act around Prince Otabek Altin of Khazhakhstahnia, and none of them include giving him the up and down and going “What the fuck are you wearing?”

Prince Otabek Altin of Khazhakhstahnia glances down at his expensive-looking Disney Prince tunic and matching pants that look like they costed more than Yuri’s iPhone.

To be completely fair, he looks very good in it, and Yuri’s surprise was more about how good he looks than the actual clothes. Also the amount of green and gold assaulting his eyes. No one should be allowed to wear that much green and look good.

“Clothes,” Prince Otabek Altin of Khazhakhstahnia says. Then looks over at Yuri, eyeing his leopard print Vans with a raised eyebrow.

Yuri is going to fight him.

(or: the princess protection program au that was supposed to be quick and messy and short, but instead its over 10k and people have emotions.)

You Might Say I Like To Play One-on-One With You by blackmountainbones [E, 3K]

The thing is, Yuri’s seen dicks before. He’s a sixteen-year-old in the internet age; he’s seen more penises penetrate more holes than he can count. It’s not like he’s never seen a real dick, either: between all the time he spends at the rink or at the gym, he’s bound to have seen more than a few naked dongs. Nudity, Yuri thinks, is no big deal.

At least until he catches a glimpse of Otabek in the onsen and discovers that nudity is a very big deal, indeed.

Yuri's Snapshots series by @onotherflights [M and E, 8K]

Summary of first fic:

When Yuri was nineteen, things changed. He fell in love with skating again, and he finally felt like himself after the year he had endured being lost. He fell in love again later that year, but that one had been a long time coming.

I put a limit of one fic per author but I suggest you check out some of these authors' other works (especially those who exclusively write Otayuri) because there are other good stories not included in this list.

Also, as I'm searching for fics to put here (after everything that I remember off the top of my head/found in my bookmarks), I realized there are a looot I've read that I wanna rec but it's overwhelming so let me just link this ao3 search of Otayuri fics sorted by kudos as something to start with.

If anyone else has a fave Otayuri fic or author, please feel free to rec.

---

ETA - Other people's rec:

Pride and Other Madness series by @basilique

Thanks for the rec, @a-midnight-luna! ❤

[charmspoint]

fr tho hmmm, ok since ur bingeing alot of anime lately, top 5 anime youve watched recently (u can include ongoing stuff if u want ily)

For this ask meme

I havent binged that much anime recently ;;; Just a few, a lil few.

Long list with pictures ahead, this is not list by quality but by joy factor

5. Jujutsu Kaisen

It’s weird that the anime I’ve been talking about the most is so low on the list but that’s mainly because I’m mostly hyperfocused on the manga rn. The arc the anime is in rn is where I got really invested when I was reading the manga and it only got better since then, would probs rank very high in my fav manga list rn. I’m feral for the next season and I would like to know when it’s coming out hehe~

4. My Next Life as a Villainess 

Catarina vs my exam slump, who will win? The answer may surprise you.

This show brought so much happiness in my life when I needed it the most, I just enjoyed it a whole lot and on a few occasions it even made me laugh at loud. Catarina is a fucking dumbass but in a way that makes her lovable instead of frustrating...or at least lovably frustrating lmao! And I’ve already said my peace on the rest of the cast. The only way it could be better is if it went gay all the way 

3. Skate the infinity 

Can you imagine that I almost didn’t watch this anime? The only reason I started it because I looked at the op cuz ‘skating anime is bound to have some good tunes’ (it has), but truth to be told from the amount of it I see on my dash I would have probably got into it anime. I love these characters (except Adam but Adam falls straight into the sort of villain trope I dislike the most so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) But honestly has some of the best and most lovable characters these season and Reki’s arc is goddamn heartbreaking to watch. This is the kind of show with a beating heart you know, I love it.

2. Dr Stone

Funny how I watched this after you complained endlessly about it and then ended up enjoying it so much. I’m not much of a science buff and there are times I just zone out when Senku is explaining shit but as I’ve said countless times before it’s the characters that make or break the show for me and I love every single one. I just like how full of passion it is and how obvious it is that this is the author just nerding out. Senku is very interesting protagonist because he wasn’t supposed to be the protagonist at all and it’s great how passionate he can be while completely avoiding the passionate shonen youth trope. Also I ranted to you constantly about how nice is to see a character with who has such a prominent way of showing love exclusively by his actions. Also the emotional moments hit so hard despite it being a nerd out show. Also just Gen, as a concept. This show feels like someone is constantly ranting to you about the thing they are passionate about and as someone who loves to listen to ppl rant about things they love, it’s just great. Also I get to share in with something you really like and that always makes it better <3

1. Talentless Nana

Didn’t we calculate that I finished the entire anime and then the manga start to finish in two days flat?

Yeah I think that says it all.

Nana turned out to be such a niche show and it really deserves more. I’ve seen people compare it to Death Note but it’s really not like Death Note when you get past the cat and mouse game that isn’t even it’s core more like a bait to lure you in to the real thing. Like this isn’t a show that is going to vow you with it’s mindgames but I do like it better than Death Note just because it has infinently more interesting and lovable characters and Nana could kick Lights ass any day. Nana has bits of BNHA in it and bits of Death Note in it but what it’s really about for me is abuse and how it can break and remold a person and how hard it’s to get out of it and start acting against what you’ve been conditioned to believe is the right thing, no matter how much you want to do better. That message is more thoroughly explored in the manga though and since it ended up so niche I doubt we’ll be getting second season ;-; But damn don’t I love Nana’s arc. She makes for an amazing protagonist that you just love despite everything she does and then you start to understand her better and how she ended up like this and you just really want to root for her to figure out what happened. And when she does it’s not an instant switch, she doesn’t immediately go ‘oh ok i know what teh good is now ill do that’. It’s a struggle to go against what she’s been taught to believe, it’s a struggle to turn her back on the only safe person she knows in her life (who is very very abusive but abusers can still be safe places that’s why abuse is so hard to leave) and try to join in with people who are very likely to refuse her just because she knows that’s the right thing to do. Watching Nana go from mindless drone to a girl struggling to leave an abusive situation and make up for all the wrongs she did is just amazing. One day I wanna go through the manga and detailly document Nana’s journey. I hope she finds stability soon my girl ;-; 

This has turned into a Talentless Nana rant but I just love how seriously the story takes the topic of abuse, how much it can impact you, your actions and your view of the world and how hard it is to leave. How much easier it would be for Nana to just stay where she is and ignore everything despite knowing leaving would be the best choice. Recently the manga updated with a chapter on Moe and it showed so well how much abuse can impact and persist even when a child is in a safe situation and ;-; MOE I’M SORRY I SAID I DONT LIKE YOU AAAA. 

Anyway if anyone aside from Peter made it to the end of the list uhhh read Talentless Nana, it’s really good and I would like more please

[dandyvespa]

Calling All K-Pop Survival Show Trash (I-Land Edition)

What’s good everyone

In the past I have talked about my interest in  kpop survival shows and my preferred lineups for shows like Produce 101 X and Youth with You.  These such posts got some attention and made me befriend some cool mutuals so I thought why not do more for any other shows I come across so I can also discuss with people and fangirl with them? Though I myself continue to like these shows despite evil editing and clear favoritism from producers/global fans, I still wish to share with you some hardworking trainees that I think you guys would be interested in, especially if ya’ll kpop survival show tl’s are dry and looking to fill the void with something different.  Well, I-Land happens to be that different show.  Now I know not everyone is a big fan of BigHit or even Mnet for that matter, I do encourage this show because it is a lot different from the format of the Produce series, or any past kpop survival show for that matter.  The standard for ranking trainees is not entirely up to global votes and the producers in the show give their valuable take.  Not only that but their living conditions, music choices, and selected trainees are very distinct and refreshing in my opinion.   Not only that but you have big names like Rain, Zico, Bang PD, IU, and much more contributing to the show to create the best global kpop group.

Now when posting this I realized I should have done this earlier because the show is already on its second part hehe.  I-Land is split up into two parts so I’m just gonna give a brief rundown.  The first part of I-Land involves these 23 trainees that all arrive individually or within groups to do this isolated and intricate building in the woods.  These trainees then go through a series of performances to see who is the most competent member in entering I-Land, this really swanky and high-tech living space fit with training areas, a kitchen filled with a bunch of food, very pristine and spacious dorm rooms, etc.  The catch is that only 12 members are only able to be apart of that paradise and will be determined by voting amongst themselves (already pretty political off the bat lol).  Those who are unable to attend the I-Land are sent to The Ground, basically a way more downgraded version of I-Land with much fewer resources.  This first part basically has these two groups pitted against each other and shifted between the I-Land and The Ground based on this trainee voting system and the producer voting system after completing various tests/competitions.  The only time where the global voting system mattered was towards the end of Part 1 in which the global votes determined the 6 trainees eligible from The Ground to be with the other 6 I-Landers (which have been selected to stay by the Producers).  These 12 trainees then dive into Part 2 of I-Land which is really the start of the actual competition to make it to the official 7-member debut line.  The 12 to 7 members are shaved down again based on a series of tests that will showcase their individual and teamwork skills.  This time the voting is completely based on an alternating system of producers and global fans deciding the ranking, the lowest such member being eliminated every other week.

So like I said I should have started this sooner since this show premiered back in June, but because a lot of people are just starting to know about the show because BTS and now Seventeen (Performance Unit) guested or are about to guest on the show (this includes possibly TXT and Gfriend given they are also tied to BigHit), might as well update ya’ll now on why you shouldn’t just be watching just because your ults are there for barely an entire episode.  Though I admit that there are shady moments and complaints I have with the show, there is no denying that these trainees that are picked are all really good in their respective areas and are incredibly dead set on becoming idols.  Now you may have heard people saying that this show is a “flop” based on Korean ratings.  Given I don’t know how tv ratings work in South Korea and know that this show is steered more towards global fans, a number of people I have talked to already about this show just watch on different video sharing websites or apps the next day so subtitles appear or they watch during the scheduled time of the live broadcasting on YouTube which I have to say is SOOOO pleasing for us international folks.  Ratings and famous artists contributing to the show aside, I once again stress that you guys should give the show a try just for the sake of getting to know these kids because I feel like with time and practice, even if they don’t make the final lineup, they will achieve their dreams eventually.

Now as much as I want to talk about the entirety of the show, I will once again post my top 7 members down below in the (Keep Reading) section.  If ya’ll don’t want spoilers and wish to look up the show first then by all means go ahead!  If you guys are curious about the show or even want to scream and talk about the show if you are caught up, please message me ya cuties!

NOW WITHOUT FURTHER ADO THESE ARE MY TOP 7 I-LAND TRAINEES (SPOILERS POTENTIALLY INCLUDED):

1) Lee Heeseung

No question about it Heeseung is one of my biases on this show and for a good reason.  This boy, a former BigHit trainee, is considered the ace of the show, an all-rounder who so far has shown stability in both dance and vocals (have yet to see rap being portrayed a lot in this show, but the producers, specifically Bang and Pdogg have said he really excels in rap and it was strange to them because he entered the show to focus more on vocals lol).  Not only that but he is selfless, a trainee that has been putting a lot of his fellow members first and sacrificing his own time to help them or steer them in the right direction.  Bro is also dorky and a total crackhead behind the scenes of I-Land lol.  As of part 2 I believe he is the trainee with the most seniority, as in years of training.  Despite showing his playful side here and there, he seems to be the most well-spoken and mature of the trainees, putting him as a major candidate to become a leader.  It is just a bonus that he looks this good too!  At this point in the show, it would be insane for anybody to not include Heeseung in their final debut lineup predictions.  Plus this is legit Bang PD’s favorite son ya’ll already know.

2) Park Sunghoon

Ah the little ice prince! Another former BigHit trainee (and my second bias lol),  Sunghoon is incredibly charismatic and knows how to show the right facial expressions on stage.  I honestly kind of see him as a dark horse in the show.  His vocals are pretty decent and he can really keep up in dancing.  Overall just so hardworking, and it definitely shows because he really has been consistent through the show! It’s pretty known he is a major visual in the show but a lot of people also like him for his clean-cut and simple personality. He is also very observant of the other members and can be just as doting and selfless as Heeseung.  What irks me is that the producers and even some viewers complain that his personality “overlaps” with other members, which is honestly an odd reason to have when considering the debut lineup.  He seems quiet at first but the kid can be so hyperactive, funny, and radiates crackhead energy as time goes by in the show, giving us more of his personality to work with.  What is more fascinating is that he used to figure-skate for 10+ years and decided to choose this path as an idol after seeing BTS.  He is also determined to show his parents that they shouldn’t have doubted him and that he took the right path and I just love that.  Please look out for him because with his popularity and competence, I am sure he will make it to the lineup!

3) Yang Jungwon 

Pack it up ya’ll we found our little maknae of the group who is a cutie and an all-rounder!  He is also a dark horse to me, but then again a lot of people consider him to be a “hidden ace” in the show.  Jungwon may be one of the youngest members in I-Land but amongst the other younger trainees, but he stands out as the most skilled by a landslide.  He excels at singing and is very stable.  In fact I think he is one of the few trainees that has a really good singing voice next to Heeseung.  He is also really good at dancing as well as free-styling.  I think he is also a former BigHit trainee (I... yes I know a lot of my picks just happen to be BigHit trainees but trust me I’m not just being biased lol).  I think Jungwon is someone who, though he excels himself, really appreciates his hyungs who he respects and wishes to learn from.  Coincidentally, his role model is Jungkook haha.  His ability to adjust to concepts, even the most mature ones, is also very astonishing.  Hoping that global fans not only see him as a cute kid but as a talented, caring, and hardworking soul.  Baby did not quit taekwondo to follow his dreams as an idol too!

4) Jay Park

Ya’ll you see this kid?  He is a fighter.  A competitor who brings the heat.  And behold he is also formerly from BigHit lol, but also SM entertainment! Jay is incredibly skilled at dancing and is very charismatic on stage. I think he is one of the few people who showcased rap pretty decently, but again this show barely showed the rap skills of any of these trainees to really conclude that.  The kid has been through a lot of humiliating moments in the show, even coming up with the iconic and meme-worthy line to accept such moments: resentment, anger, humiliation.  He has been placed in compromising situations, but he owns up the the situation and accepts responsibilities that no one would.  He is not as intimidating as he may want to look as he also very caring and helpful (plus his fear of ghosts is adorable). Even other trainees approach him to teach them choreography or get advice.  Also the way he was able to lead the Grounders in the Fire performance made me appreciate him even more since then.  I feel like he has the potential to be a great leader for the group as well.  He is also honest in what he feels and has no problem stating that to the viewers, but is never someone who whines about not getting his way.  His stubbornness will take him all the way to the debut line in my opinion haha.  Go hard my sweet potato boy!

5) Jake Shim

Our Aussie boy and the icon of improvement in the show! He happens to be one of the trainees with the shortest training time.  Despite this, he has had potential since his entrance test with Crown.  Jake has had some rough criticism that lead him to work very hard.  In fact he always feared that he may get behind others or not keep up.  I think out of all the members--and that is saying a lot because they all really do try their best--he is the one who is the most hard-working and constantly practicing the choreography, even when others are asleep.  I also think he has a pretty good vocal range, and it definitely improved since Flicker recently.  The fact that he came all the way here to South Korea by himself to achieve his dream of being an idol after witnessing BTS is so brave. I really respect him and his friendship with a lot of the members in I-Land, especially with Sunghoon! I think he will only continue to rise up and gain more traction from the global audience.

6) Kim Sunoo

Sunshine boy coming through! Sunoo came along with Jake and performed Crown together and since then I always thought he had some real talent.  This thought was only proven later on, but really set it for me his Save Me performance.  Listen his vocals are so promising despite also having a short training period.  I honestly think it would rival Heeseung’s vocals.  I do think he has room to improve in dance, but he really works for it.  He is always so positive and nice to others.  He is very modest and eager to learn and I love how he is basically this aegyo king who never cringes at the slightest when he acts like himself.  As someone who wishes to be on tv, I hope he gets there.  I feel like a lot of people have slept on him because he was mostly known as that one cute kid with adequate skills, but they are far more better than a lot of the trainees since the beginning of the show.  His popularity already puts him really up there so I can only hope he just continues to prove himself to the producers because they have already complimented him on his more masculine and skilled side in Fake Love.  Fighting my son!

7) K

Our last member is K! Now I have had my eye on K because his visuals really stand out for me, like something out of a comic or drama.  Handsomeness aside, K hails from Japan and is the oldest member on the entire show.  He is very experienced in choreographing and is undoubtedly one of the best dancers on the show, which was definitely established in the dance unit competition.  His vocals are also pretty underrated.  I think he that knows how to grab attention and make us wanting more.  Now as much as I adore his skills and ability to lead other members in the choreo, I have noticed that he is the type to be very straightforward, and it may come off as intimidating to other members.  I am not sure if this is just South Korean etiquette of respecting elders and just trying really hard not to upset them, but the way that members have had their fair share of discussing issues with how K just turns icy whenever he doesn’t see things his way or makes a mistake leading them to be frightened to the point of not being able to chime in with their thoughts is very alarming.  I get that no one wants to step on his toes further, but I hope this attitude and relationship doesn’t persist.  I like K and I can see that he dotes on other members and helps them out as much as he can, but sometimes his hypocritical and isolated attitude gets the better of him.  Now granted this may be a result of MNET’s evil editing, but seeing all these trainees share their uneasy thoughts regarding him makes me feel another way.  Even when these issues happen, it ends up with him having to talk it out with his members and reflect, which is highly appreciated.  Even the producers feel like K is important and is promising in his ad-libs and skill set.  May he recover from all these issues and keep himself together!

HONORABLE MENTION:

★ Hanbin

I thought I would add an additional member that I have been on the fence about if one of these other potential trainees do not make it, especially considering I am a bit scared of K’s placement due to global fans being easily persuaded by how MNET edits their shit.  I actually have never laid eyes on Hanbin since the entire first half of the show because he was always in The Ground.  After seeing him lose confidence their I was scared if he would ever recover.  Luckily, he opened up this time around! Not only do I see him acting more like this sweet older brother towards the other trainees, especially in times of conflict like with K and Niki, but he has really been standing out with his dance and vocal skills.  I already know he used to be part of a Vietnamese cover dance group, but I never knew how stable and clear his vocals were.  Though I don’t think he is as stand out as other members in these skills, he definitely showed more of his confidence and improvement since Part 1.  I was honestly wondering why so many people have been hyping him and I guess I was the one wrongfully sleeping on him and his hidden talents heh.  I also hope he is getting more recognition now and it would be nice to see another member who is outside of South Korea appear in the group, especially since Bang PD is going for a global group. Call me a Hannie now lol.

ALRIGHT end of this thread.  Again feel free to talk to me about the show or finally start watching the show.  Even though I did not list your favorite, understand this is my personal debut lineup.  This in no way means I am hating on any of the other members.  I think they all have what it takes if they were all able to get casted onto this show, and I hope they eventually will.   Given that I was looking for much more trainees that caught my eye, have had experience, a good personality, a natural and improved skill set, and just an overall good connection with them, these were the trainees I was most enticed by.  It is pretty set like this and I doubt it will change, but who knows.  Thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope check out the show or continue to stream it! <3

[thatguyniles]

Blog Post #1

Out of all the films we had to watch, Mid 90’s was the most interesting to me. I’m interested in learning to skate and the retro look has always been cool to me. It was also one of the only films to hold my full attention to the point where I rewatched scenes for my own pleasure. Long story short this movie is lit. One of the characters I most identified with would be Ray. 

In the skate shop, Ray explains how it is being black because Fourth Grade asks if it’s cool. Spoiler it’s pretty cool not gonna lie. Ray gives an example that I wasn’t expecting from the movie. He says when they skate in Beverly Hills, they already get looked at some type of way and people say they’re vandalizing and stuff, but it feels like it comes down harder on him. After hearing him say that it was apparent that I would probably relate to him the most since i’m a young black man, and have also felt that some instances the consequences are harder for myself. 

When Ruben is explaining to Stevie everyone's nicknames, he says that Ray doesn’t need one because he’s cool without one. I feel a similar way about nicknames. I don’t need a nickname to feel different or cooler because A) I’m already cool, and B) I feel like my name is cool and having a nickname would take away from who I am. Stevie also says that ray is cooler without a nickname. Ray’s friends obviously see him in a positive light, which is the same with mine (I hope). They’ve told me I’m a cool dude, even though I don’t see anything I do that makes me seem any cooler than the average guy. If I had to take a guess It’s probably how I carry myself, like Ray I come off as a chill, laid back kinda guy and I also have a knack for clowning on people. We both also question authority, whether it be demands or rules that are set in place.

 When Ray and his squad are posted up on the steps of a school, a security guard walks up and tells them that they gotta skidaddle before they get their asses beat. Of course in classic teen fashion they say no and start roasting his ass lmao. Ray and the guard get into an F-you match and Ray says “you smokin cigarettes on school property” and the guard says Jesus smokes cigarettes. Ray immediately claps back with “what kinda cigarettes he smoke”. The guard, caught off guard (pun intended) stumbles over his words and storms off. Long story short I’m a smart ass.

There are three common themes in the films we watched and they are, drugs, acceptance and alcohol. In Mid 90’s Stevie smokes cigarettes with Ruben because he wants to fit in. Ruben saying he should be more like him because he smokes, skates, and dips his pen in someone else’s ink *wink*probably gave Stevie more incentive to try and fit in within the group of skaters especially since it appears that Stevie is younger than Ruben is. In KIDS Telly steals a 40 and drinks it throughout the next scene. Later Telly is offered Whip its in one of his homeboys crib and does one, immediately feeling the high. Back to Mid 90’s, Fuck Shit gives Ruben and Stevie some of his ADD medication, much to the dislike of Ray. In the next scene the group goes to a party and Stevie is seen smoking weed with a girl he met that night. These themes are relatable to youth culture because teens and young adults are at a vulnerable point socially in life. 

Teens usually try to fit into groups that they see as popular or successful at that point in time.They try to feel accepted because they themselves are unsure of what they want to do or who they are. Humans are social creatures so not fitting in any group hits us hard mentally.

Now the part I’ve been looking forward to the most, a new soundtrack for Mid 90’s! I’m about to give you the greatest soundtrack ever just so you know. 

The first song I thought of was “There They Go”, a South african rapper named  Nasty C. This song in my opinion fits well in the scene where everyone is skating at the courthouse and the police arrive. Everyone scatters and I think the name of the song fits the situation well. The song just sounds like good chase music to me.

 Next is “Dr Birds”, by rap collective Griselda. This song fits more as an instrumental in the scene where Fuck Shit accidently hits Stevie’s older brother with his board during a trick. The two then stand face to face and Fuck Shit punks him making him walk off. The song gives off a standoff vibe and has a bell sound that reminds me of the standoffs from Dragonball Z right before a fight.

“Fubu” by rapper Royce Da 5’9” featuring Conway the machine comes to mind as soon as I saw the party scene. The song is from Royce’s album “The Allegory”, and like always he come with bars. The beat gives off a mischievous and sneaky vibe that I think would go along well with the low lit lighting and the weed they smoke since obviously they wouldn’t want anyone to know what’s happening here.

“Wish You Well” by rapper Amir Obe would fit perfectly during the scene when Stevie comes home high off the drugs he took before and after the party and runs from his brother around the house. The song has an intensity that isn’t too overpowering for the scene, even if only the beat is used.

“Kingdom Come” by Raury played in the back of my head when Ruben and Stevie were talking about nicknames. The song reminds me of togetherness with its calm mood and slower tempo. I think it works well when characters are connecting or expanding their relationship between one another.

“I’m Good Luv, Enjoy” by rapper Aaron May is a song I personally love to cruise to, so it’s only fitting I have it play during the scene when the group of skaters (and Stevie) are riding their boards down the street after Ray suggest they go skateboarding at the skate shop. The song would continue to play during the security guard interaction. The song has a good bounce along with the lyrics “I ain’t got time for you, get up out my face” work well because Ray gets in the guards face and clowns him which makes him leave. It reminds me of high school when me and my friends would crack jokes on the security guard at lunch.

“PTSD” by rap label Dreamville is a much better song to play when Ray and Stevie skate after his mother tells him he can’t hang with the skaters anymore. After his mom does her motherly duty Ray and Stevie have a heart to heart, and ray opens up about his younger brother who passed away. The song that actually plays during this scene is ass I’m not gonna lie. They needed to have me select the songs, Jonah Hill should cut me a check I’m just saying.

“Almeda” by Solonge is more of a joke selection. Don’t get me wrong the song is good, but if it were to play when Stevie downs a 40, that would be hilarious! Think about it as Steve chugs the bottle Solonge goes “pour my drank, sip, sip, sip,” lmao pure gold right there.

“Y U DON’T LOVE ME (MISS AMERIKKKA)” by Joey Bada$$ would play a little after Stevie gets drunk to Solonge. A lot happens in this scene and the trippy sound the beat has would complement Stevie and his impaired state especially when he gets into a fight with Ruben at a skatepark.

The final song I couldn’t decide between “It Ain’t Hard to Tell” by Nas, or “93 ‘Till Infinity” by Souls Of Mischief. These songs would play during Fourth Grade’s movie he was filming throughout the whole movie. The song that plays in the movie is an old school hip hop record, so I figured why not keep the similar sound, especially since he named the film wait for it….Mid 90’s.

You probably want to listen to this marvelous and swaggy soundtrack, oh what’s this a link to the soundtrack where did that come from. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0eFLRkG3KEgyMbWTGcJefn?si=RBLAKIsrTFqDLrsaLG_PSQ

[devinsfm]

joe keery. cis male. he/him.  ／  jack devin just pulled up blasting video killed the radio star by the buggles — that song is so them ! you know, for a twenty - four year old radio show host, i’ve heard they’re really impulsive, but that they make up for it by being so captivating. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say obscure vintage horror comics, blurry photographs of mysterious figures in the woods, and vivid descriptions of spine - chilling tales  . here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble ! ( sam, 23, est, she/her )

hey there, demons ! *ba tum tss* i’m sam and i never do this, but i really felt like it was time for a change, so i drew lots of inspiration from some of my favorite ocs and i love what i’ve come up with ! character info is under the cut and please feel free to message me if you would like to plot !

i. stats

𝔣𝔲𝔩𝔩 𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢: jackson willard devin

𝔭𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔢𝔯𝔯𝔢𝔡 𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔰: jack, spooky guy, the night watchman 

𝔥𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔫: salem, massachusetts

𝔡𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔟𝔦𝔯𝔱𝔥: ocotber 31st, 1995

𝔷𝔬𝔡𝔦𝔞𝔠: scorpio

𝔬𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫: demisexual

𝔬𝔠𝔠𝔲𝔭𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫: host of the graveyard shift, a radio program airing every weeknight from 12am to 5am

𝔭𝔬𝔰. 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔱𝔰: captivating, witty, resolute. 

𝔫𝔢𝔤. 𝔱𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔱𝔰: impulsive, gauche, naive.

ii. history

jackson willard “jack” devin was born on halloween day ( yes, really ) in salem massachusetts ( yes, really ). his mother stayed home with him as he was growing up while his father is a boston cop turned sheriff of the county and he’s an only child.

outside of the popular tourist spots, his hometown has a very close - knit, stuck in the 80s vibe. it’s the sort of place where everyone knows everyone for their entire lives because no one ever leaves and no one new ever moves in. phone and internet signals are nearly impossible to come by, so the local arcade and the video store still have quite a booming business in the year 2020. jack grew up in a not - so - typical small town suburban gothic environment, his dad’s income being just enough for them to get by every month.

he was an energetic kid who cycled through all sorts of interests, trying out everything from little league ( disaster ) to music lessons ( not as much of a disaster, but he wound up getting bored of it ). nothing seemed to really stick until he got his first horror comic : a vintage issue of tales from the crypt with tattered, yellowing pages. he was five years old and paid five cents for it at an elderly neighbor’s yard sale and from that moment on he was hooked. it started with the comics, but he quickly expanded his horizons to movies, books, and television in the genre of horror.

he got intro drawing and that was the only thing besides his newfound interest in horror that he could sit still for. at first he would just try to re - draw the panels in his comic books, but soon he was drawing anything and everything that caught his interest and he was getting good. he was being homeschooled by his mother at the time, but once friends and family and, well, everyone took notice of his skill, they were encouraging his parents to nurture his talent.

his parents fought about it. his dad didn’t see the value in his skill and wanted him to instead focus on academics, aspiring towards his son one day becoming a lawyer or a businessman or even following in his footsteps. jack never wanted that for himself. he was homeschooled by his mom up until then and she believed in him. it was with her blessing that he would go to a real school for the first time at the age of fourteen, starting off his freshman year at a high school that was a thirty minute train ride away in boston and catered exclusively to youth who demonstrated an exceptional talent in some area of the fine arts.

jack did well in school, but his grades probably would have been a lot better still if he didn’t start purposely acting out as his relationship with his dad got worse and worse. he started skipping classes, getting caught trespassing in cemeteries at 2am, and smoking a lot of weed. 

when it came time for college, jack planned to attend art school. he swears he did. he looked a few schools on the west coast to get away from his dad for a few years yikes and planned to apply, but on the deadline date he got so high that he forgot to submit his portfolios. yes, really.

he loaded up his van ( a turquiose monstrosity he painted to look like the mystery machine ) and headed out to california anyway after telling his parents that he would be attending UCLA. of course, they quickly found it that it was a lie and his dad was furious. the two got into a huge fight over the phone and things were said. the result is that jack and his father haven’t spoken to each other ever since. 

he did lots of odd jobs while he was on the road and basically lived in his van, which didn’t change right away when he decided to settle in LA, but he eventually got a job fetching coffee for the late night employees at a local radio station.

it was the typical, cliché story : the regular late night host called out of work at the last minute, there was no one else around and they were going to be on air in ten seconds. jack was thrown in front of the microphone and told to think fast !

he did, and the listeners loved him for it. whether it was his ramblings about horror movies or his thick boston accent or his reckless use of swear words on live radio, he turned out to be a massive hit. the successful night earned him a gig as an occasional substitute deejay, and with each broadcast he grew more and more popular, and about two years ago he was finally given his own program.

the graveyard shift is a radio program that airs every weeknight from 12am - 5am in the los angeles area and on apps such as iheartradio. jack hosts the show as his ( thinly veiled ) alter ego the night watchmen and discusses topics such as the paranormal, conspiracy theories, and all things horror. it’s one of the most popular programs of the time slot in the country.

it’s something that he never expected or picturing himself doing, but now he can’t imagine doing anything else. he’s become really passionate about revitalizing the field and bringing radio into the 21st century. he signed a HUGE contract with the studio when his show first started and now he’s a quite well known radio personality in the area and across the country.

iii. extras

huge stoner. high as fuck 90% of the time, and the other 10% of the time he’s probably still high, just not as fuck. 

well known for his on air antics. he’ll light a joint in the middle of his radio show, he’ll prank call a friend and broadcast it to the entire city, he’ll curse in every single sentence and skate by on the after hours excuse when he’s reprimanded for it. he’s so outlandish and bizarre and like nothing that’s ever been heard on the radio before, and it just draws people in.

he often seems shy in person, but it’s more like he’s just a little socially awkward, something which also shines through in occasional non - malicious but blunt remarks and general lack of regard for what people think of him. he really just...doesn’t care.

genuinely seems to believe it’s either halloween day and / or the year 1986 at any given moment as that’s about as recent as his pop culture references get. he’s never heard of the k*rdashians, he doesn’t know what the mcu is, and the phrase yeet means absolutely nothing to him. mention any of it to him and he’ll just stare blankly bc he honestly doesn’t have a clue.

HOWEVER, he did start the area 51 meme from last summer.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

still draws. especially if he has to still for a stretch of time, then he’ll take out his latest sketchbook ( he goes through a lot of them ) and start doodling. he’s still quite good, mostly in his favored comic - esque style.

BIG CHAOTIC ENERGY and ZERO IMPULSE CONTROL

a chatterbox with friends but don’t be fooled...he’s been giving his own dad the silent treatment for almost seven ( 7 ) years now. it’s his preferred method of expressing anger towards someone because he isn’t really a fan of confrontation, but he’s maybe a liiiittle bit stubborn.

most of the time he’s a really easygoing person, a good friend and very loyal to the people he cares about. well - meaning, not the best at advice but he’s more likely to try and cheer a person up anyway. 

he has a pet pied ball python named the crypt keeper ( tkc for short ) who he sometimes just carries with him because he likes to just chill wrapped around jack’s hand and arm. 

iv. wanted connections

maternal or paternal cousins ( their grandparents probably live in boston or new england but otherwise anything goes for this )

close friends

friends

guests on his radio show 

fans / haters of his radio show

people who don’t like him / find him annoying

exes ( 1 - 2, can be on good or bad terms )

“casually dating” but it might get real complicated soon - allie james

( these are just ideas and i’m trash at coming up with stuff, so please don’t feel limited by what’s listed here. )