#as someone who ONLY draws josh most of the time and has been for actual years

[mtblackwood]

just a psa if youre gonna draw josh i recommend using this picture as reference

dont make him pale, please, for the love of god HOLY SHIT

[jake-whatthefisgoingon-kiszka]

Merry Thursday lovely readers, I hope this week’s update finds you well. Enjoy these last few happy chapters, while they last, and that’s all I’ll say about that 🤐

Pairings: Sam Kiszka X Danny Wagner *slash

Warnings and tags: 18+ only please! If there was ever a story not for minors, this is it. Adult themes including: allusions to past bad relationships, fast paced relationship building, allusions to sexual situations, brotherly banter, Danny’s attempt at courting, financial worries, Josh being an idiot big brother, vampire!AU

Word count: 3.5k

“Josh would have a cow if he saw me right now” Sam spoke again when the final credits of the movie started to roll across the TV screen. He was still sat comfortably between Danny’s legs, his arms folded over Danny’s and their hands intertwined together.

Danny placed a kiss to the back of his neck which made him shudder and scrunch up his shoulders with a giggle. “Why? What would he not approve of? My movie choice or how badly I want to leave more marks on your neck right now?”

“Hmm,” Sam hummed in content as Danny continued to place butterfly light kisses behind his ear despite his comment. “No, he’d be surprised about how docile you’ve made me”.

“I don’t think you’re docile. Quite the opposite actually”.

“Oh? Tell me more, what do you think about me?”

“I think you’re a burning flame” Danny answered on queue without even needing to take a moment to think it over. “You’re a flame that burns so bright it draws people near, but they pull away when they get too close and can feel your heat. They’re afraid to get burned, but it’s not your fault. You can’t help who you are. Fire is neither good nor bad, just pure”.

Sam’s heart clenched in his chest, and he pulled Danny’s arms tighter around him in an attempt to soothe the ache. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, mostly he was just playing around, but Danny’s words reached him somewhere deep. “And you?” He pressed on. “Are you afraid of getting burned?”

“I’m not scared of fire. I know its strength, I know how to be careful around an open flame, and most of all I know how to admire its beauty”.

A smile pulled its way along Sam’s features, showing that he was more than happy with Danny’s response. It was still odd for him, being with someone who genuinely wanted to spend time with him rather than whatever he spent his life being afraid of…

People using him, or worse letting someone get close only to lose them like he’s lost everyone else he has cared most about in this world.

“I also think that I’d like to meet your brothers” Danny continued. “If you could come up with a good excuse for them to meet me at night that is”.

“That shouldn't be too hard. Josh is always at the bar late after closing, and Jake is a night owl anyways”. Sam was already trying to think of how he’d ask them. What would he say? Hey this is the guy I’m fucking, he wanted to meet you before we keep fucking so will you just be on your best behavior and don’t screw this up for me?

That would certainly go over well.

“Ok, I’ll come by the bar tomorrow. Wanted to see you prancing around in that little apron again anyways. You know you’re a huge flirt at work right?”

“I know” Sam scoffed defensively. “How else do you think we make decent tips in a small town like this? These people think just because we see them every week that we don’t have bills to pay too”.

���It’s alright Sam, I get it” Danny chuckled, giving him another kiss to his shoulder this time. “You can flirt with whoever you want so long as you only mean it with me”.

“I don’t want to flirt with anyone who isn’t you anymore” Sam admit with a wiggle which made his ass press up closer against Danny’s crotch. “What now? The movie is over, does that mean our date is over too?”

“Did you ummm, have anything else in mind?” Danny stuttered, once again trying to control himself in the face of Sam’s relentless seduction. If he had to take much more of this it wouldn’t be long before he broke and took him right here on the couch, the table, the floor, over and over again until the sun came up once more.

“Actually,” Sam sing songed, leading Danny to believe he was going to try his luck again. “I’ve been really tired since last night. Going to bed early sounds nice, but I don’t want you to go just yet”.

Pleasantly surprised Danny helped Sam up again, collecting the bowl of remaining uneaten popcorn and can of half drank seltzer to discard on their way to the bedroom. “You’re ready for bed then?”

Sam nod his head and made sure the DVD was put safely back in his book before taking Danny’s hand. “So, cuddle?” He asked once they reached the foot of his bed, not sure what else they were to do.

With a charmingly crooked smile Danny pulled back the blankets and allowed Sam to get comfortable first then slid into the sheets right behind him. “Good night Sam, thank you for tonight”.

“Will you stay until I fall asleep again?”

“I’m not going anywhere” Danny slipped one arm underneath Sam’s pillow and the other wrapped around his waist, pulling him close once more.

“You’re in a good mood tonight” Terry noted as Sam thanked him from the window for getting his plates up with a bright flashy smile. “Things going well?”

“Oh things are going, hopefully again soon too” Sam replied with a wink that made Terry turn even more red than he already was from standing behind the grill all night.

“Sounds like someone had a good night off” Terry went back to flipping his patties, the sizzling sound muting their conversation so only the two of them could really hear what was being said.

“I’ll have you know he’s been a perfect gentleman. At least last night he was” Sam added with an insinuating wiggle of his brows as he stacked salt and pepper shakers and a ketchup bottle onto his platter before he was to take it all to the waiting table. “By the way he’s coming by tonight”.

“Who’s coming tonight?” Josh intercepted the conversation just as Sam lifted the platter and started walking away from the window. He followed, greeting his guests and helping his brother divvy up everyone’s meals.

Sam tucked the platter under his arm, not necessarily prepared to start this conversation right now. On second thought, he probably should at least warn Josh that Danny was coming by before he just showed up. He opened his mouth to speak but he was quickly silenced by the sound of the front door opening and everyone in the bar oohing and awing.

“The hell?” Josh’s attention was torn from Sam as he looked past him and saw what everyone was gawking at, a tall man with long dark curly hair wielding an excessively large bouquet of roses.

Looking over his shoulder Sam immediately recognized the pair of converse before he even got a good look at who was holding the flowers. “Right, about that…”

So much for a heads up.

Danny spotted them quickly, approaching with a nervous smile and offering his gift to Sam before turning to Josh and sticking his hand out for a hand shake. “It’s a pleasure to meet you”.

Josh hesitantly took Danny’s hand, his shoulder slightly jerking up and down as he stared at Sam in confusion, looking for answers.

“Daniel, this is my brother Josh” Sam began to formally introduce them, “Josh, this is Daniel my-”. He bit his tongue, awkwardly adjusting the oversized brown paper wrapped bouquet in his grip with the platter still barely hanging on under his other arm.

Danny and Josh both waited for Sam to finish, hanging on baited breath to hear what exactly his last word would be.

“He’s my boyfriend”. Sam blurted out before his face ran as red as the petals he was now trying to hide behind. “I mean I want him to be, that’s kind of why he’s here. To talk to you or whatever-”

Danny’s face lit up even brighter at Sam’s admission, hoping he’d made a good enough impression with the gift to win over Josh’s favor- though if he’d learned anything from Sam these past few days about his brothers, he knew it would definitely have to be harder than that.

“Why don’t we take this to the office?” Josh suggested with a clear of his throat, the handful of people nearby who were eyeballing the entire interaction while they chewed through their basket of fries like it was dinner and a show groaning in unison. It wasn’t often a handsome young man showed up with roses for his boyfriend around here, so they were clearly being entertained.

Josh took the tray from Sam so he could get a better grip on his flowers and set it on the bar, ushering them through the back until the three of them were stepping into his small office. He entered last, turning to leave the door cracked open in case anyone needed him, and when he faced them again he crossed his arms over his chest and sighed. “Ok, so what is this all about?”

“We met a couple of nights ago,” Sam began to explain after he’d gently set his roses down on Josh’s desk, careful not to place them on top of any papers since their leaves and stems were still slightly wet. “Daniel wanted to come meet you and Jake before we kept seeing each other. He’s kind of old fashioned like that”.

When Sam came to stand next to Danny’s side he took Sam’s hand in his, the small show of affection making Josh scoff and shake his head.

“Look, I’m sure you’re a good guy and you’re serious and all, but Sam’s had plenty of fast flings before. I don’t know what makes you think this is any different”.

“Josh!” Sam’s blood immediately started to boil at his brother’s blunt dismission of their intentions. If Danny’s fingers weren’t already laced with his he would be lurching forward to grab him by the shirt. Instead he just tightened his grip and stood his ground.

“This is different” Danny firmly spoke up, “I care about Sam, a lot”.

“And I care about him” Sam chimed in, the two of them sharing a fond look with shy smiles before Josh cut in again.

“Ok eww, I don’t need any of the dirty details. Whatever, I don't care. I’ve got other stuff to worry about right now”. With a huff Josh stomped over to his desk and gathered up some of the papers grumbling to himself as he looked over spreadsheets and invoices.

Sam frowned, looking over at Danny then back at his brother who clearly had a problem he wasn’t asking for help with. Danny nodded and Sam let his hand go, slowly approaching the desk like a kid who was scared to peer over the rails of the lion's den during their first trip to the zoo. “Is something wrong?”

Josh remained quiet, studying the same numbers he’d been looking at all evening in case there was something he’d miraculously missed the first, second, or third time.

“Josh”. Sam pried, placing a hand on his shoulder to pull his attention. “Is it the bar? What’s going on?”

“It’s…” Josh caved, dropping the papers again and covering his face with another long sigh. “The fire department came by today before we opened, said they’ve been surveying the area and we’ve got a few things that are out of code”.

“Ok?” That didn’t sound too good, but Sam still didn’t quite understand what had Josh so stressed. “So we fix a few things? Shouldn’t be a problem”.

“No, it is a fucking problem”. He opened his drawer and handed Sam a bright yellow paper that listed all the items the fire department found. “We have to fix the whole back deck, replace half the wiring in the dining room, I’m going to have to close for at least a few days. I’ve been looking at the financials and I just don’t know how I’m going to afford all of this”.

“Jesus-”

“Can I?” Danny reached for the paper from Sam, but directed his question to Josh who gave him a curious glance before nodding and collapsing back into his chair.

Danny examined the list, humming a few times before giving it back over to Josh. “I can help you with most of this”.

“What?”

“I’m no master carpenter, but I’m renovating my house right now. I have a lot of the stuff you’ll need to fix the deck and the wiring”.

A glimmer of something sparked in Josh’s eye, but he quickly reeled himself in, taking the paper back from Danny and slipping further into his chair. “Thanks, but I think it’s going to take more than just one miracle. Even with the extra help, I called an electrician today and he said it would take around three days with the power off to do the fixes that need to be done. I know we don’t look like much but we get quite a bit of business in the afternoons during the lunch rush. With the cost of supplies and labor it’ll be thin”.

“At least let us try to help” Sam pleaded, more than grateful that Danny had even offered to begin with. Of course Josh was probably suspicious that it was just a way for Danny to win brownie points, but Sam trusted that even if he was trying to make a good impression that Danny genuinely did want to help them save the bar.

“I can talk to my contractor, see if he can speed anything along. And I’m more than happy to come out and do what I can”.

With Sam and Danny both staring Josh down, he finally gave in and threw his hands up in defeat. “I don’t really have another choice do I?”

“Same choice I had when getting you as a brother”.

Danny couldn’t help the smile that pulled at the corners of his mouth at Sam’s cheeky remark and he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, but not before Josh clocked his amusement. Josh stood back up, pushing at his younger but taller brother’s back to shove him out of his office. “Alright. You get back to work. Danny and I are going to go look at the deck”.

“Wait, now?” Sam stuck his head back through the threshold, checking to see if Danny was alright with that.

“Yes now. What are you scared I’m going to scare your boyfriend off? I’m sure you’ll do that soon enough. Now go”.

“I’ll see you after your shift” Danny called out to him with a chuckle as he heard them continue to bicker until Josh finally successfully returned alone.

“Follow me” Josh requested with a tilt of his head. Danny walked with him back out of the office and further down the hall, trying to keep his focus ahead of him as they passed the kitchen. He felt the eyes of the scruffily man standing behind the grill staring him down though, but soon they were reaching the door to the back patio.

Once outside Danny had to pretend like he hadn’t already been out here once before, stepping cautiously around the rotting deck with a methodical look on his face. It was clear people had been out here today, most of the old pine needles and fallen leaves had been swept away exposing the warped boards and missing nails.

Josh clicked his tongue, drawing Danny’s attention back up to him as he fearlessly leaned against one of the weak posts. “So, I’m going to be blunt” he began, and Danny hoped the discussion would be about how they were going to fix all of this, only he knew better. “Sammy is smart, but some of his decisions aren’t always the brightest. He’s trying though and he doesn’t need anyone fucking that up for him. Especially when you’re just his flavor of the month”.

“Sorry?” Danny replied with a shocked raise of his brows.

Assuming he was caught up on Sam’s finicky history with partners Josh offered a bit more insight- and even if he wasn’t then he figured Danny should probably know sooner than later. “My baby brother isn’t really known for being tied down”.

If he knew any better Danny would take Josh’s words with a pinch of salt. Besides, he'd known Sam his whole life and Danny had only met him just three days ago, but he liked to believe that in these few nights together he had gotten to know Sam rather well. “Have you even talked to him recently?”

Having previously been full of opinions and misplaced words of caution, Josh was actually caught off guard by Danny’s response, unsure of what to come back with. What exactly did he mean by that? He and Sam spoke nearly everyday.

“I don’t want to overstep here, but maybe it’s worth considering that his promiscuous tendencies were a result of not having a safe space to be emotionally vulnerable”.

Josh paused to think it over for a moment. Part of him wanted to run this pompous stranger off, that was his initial reaction when meeting after all give him the bad cop act and he’d crack. Sure Sam would be upset with him, but Josh knew that in the end he’d be all the better for not having to deal with another chump without the chops to handle a Kiszka.

The more he took in what Danny had to say though, a growing sense of affection for the mysterious young man started to bleed through his suit of steel armour. Maybe what they had was different… And even if Sam was doomed for just another heartbreak, Josh vowed he would always be there to lift him up again.

“Alright,” he sighed in defeat, pushing off the banister to resume their survey of the damage. “Just keep in mind, I’ve got a lot of land out here. Plenty of places to hide a body should the need arise”.

“So?” Sam questioned the moment Danny met him back in the parking lot after his shift was officially over. He’d spent the last two and a half hours worrying about what he and Josh were up to once they had disappeared together out the back door. Josh was sure to have said something, but Danny wasn’t acting like anything was the matter.

“It went well” Danny smiled, wrapping an arm around Sam’s waist and placing a kiss on his head as they walked towards his car. “We have his blessing”.

“No you know what? Screw him he can eat a bag of di-” Sam cut himself off mid sentence as what he assumed versus what Danny had actually said breached his nearsighted conclusion. “Wait, we do?”

“Yeah, Josh is a great guy Sam. He’s just worried about you”. Danny explained, knowing he would probably to get an earful for it.

“I know” Sam responded, also not the reaction Danny had expected. “It’s just hard to open up to him anymore. Josh thinks because he’s the oldest that he has to take on this role of responsibility for us now. Our dad is gone. I get it, but I don’t want him to try to replace him. I want him to be my brother, same as we were when we were growing up”.

They stopped in front of the driver’s door of the Buick and Danny turned to cradle Sam’s face between his palms. “I think he wants the same thing. You just have to communicate that better, hmm?”

Sam pouted, knowing full well what he needed to do to mend their relationship but not wanting to actually be the one to put the effort in to try. If Josh was willing to work on it, then he would suck it up. In thanks, Sam lifted onto the tips of his toes and pressed their lips together, smiling again when Danny’s fingers found their way into his hair and pulled him closer. “So that’s one brother down, do we get a little celebration tonight for a job well done?”

“I wish, but I’ve got a few things at the house I need to take care of before this weekend, and I told Josh I would get a few numbers for him”.

“Right, on second thought maybe I don’t want to introduce you to anyone” Sam teased, wrapping his arms posessively around Danny’s waist.

“Well you might be a little late for that. Josh already invited us over for dinner Sunday night”.

“At my parents house?”

“Is that going to be a problem?”

Sam unlocked his grip around Danny’s waist and pulled himself away, digging his keys out of his pocket to unlock his car. “No, I’ll be there if you’ll be there”.

“I will, and don’t worry it’ll be great” Danny offered an encouraging smile to which Sam only narrowed his eyes into a suspicious squint as he slid in behind the wheel.

“You underestimate us Daniel. You might be able to handle one Kiszka, but all three of us under one roof? Something is sure to happen”.

“And I’m not scared, remember?” Danny countered his argument, winning Sam over for the time being and assuring him that everything would be alright as he shut his door and sent him off.

Taglist:

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@sanguinebats @holdingup-fallingsky @musicislove3389 @i-choose-the-road @alantern-inthenight @scarabsinthestardust

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[herotting]

ACTUALLY. upon further reconsideration ... i will say, yes, aaron IS worse than bill. a while ago i said i couldn't decide. buuuuhhht... thinking about it? yeah, it's aaron. which is funny to say because of how much Better and "grown" aaron acts compared to bill, and well, bill's bill.

but like recently i made a post providing evidence that bill does care about the club. but aaron...? doesn't really seem to show the same compassion toward his friends. in fact, ironically, everyone in the collective seems to be far worse than the club counterparts.

like compare the first comic to the collective one (which was supposed to be a Parody of the first one)

in the first comic, bill was never even violent in it. in fact, it was josh who started strangling jerry because the rest of the club was laughing at him. but jay starts strangling aaron because aaron fucking stabbed him, and thus started the escalation. and yes, perhaps he felt insulted by jay but like... that's still not an excuse to stab someone.

AND. again, aaron also started that because all jay told him to do was just shut up. so everything jay said & did was arguably justified because aaron was definitely the first instigator -- verbally and physically.

in faaaact. bill wasn't really all that violent in the first issue. actually bill isn't really all that violent in the comics at all. (prior 2012! lols!) if you look back at the comics, it was usually josh who lashed out in physical violence (granted bill deserves it, but still!) the twilight zone issue was the only time bill started the violence but again, he was hopped up on drugs and sleep deprived. MEANWHILE, aaron not only started the physical altercation by literally stabbing someone, but he continues to threaten to stab people.

of course, technically like bill was in that twilight zone issue -- aaron is also under the influence. but the thing is. aaron regularly does drugs or drinks despite how it makes him act. bill was oblivious and was only trying to stay awake.

after the fight, bill was very upset and admits to being nervous about the whole thing. meanwhile aaron didn't care. in fact, he remains spiteful and angry at them -- thinking lowly of them even when they're not around. (of course, aaron received worse than bill did -- having literally been beaten up by the others. but still!)

not to mention but aaron seems to... lack any good qualities bill has? which sounds super funny 'cos it's bill. BUT. say what you will about bill's unhealthy obsessions, but at least he progresses in his collections and will do anything for it. whereas aaron? completely lacks passion.

he claims he wants to be a comic artist & writer, yet don't really seem to care about drawing much? as he stated here -- they've been working on their comic projects for six months and only did five pages. there are four men. so this implies in half a year, they've all only done one page each -- with someone maybe doing two pages. the mentioning of a punk zine, hong kong film zine, and a band also implies that aaron... perhaps lacks passion for most of the shit he does, but instead is just chasing after get rich / famous quick schemes.

even when they do start drawing, it only lasts less than a half hour before they take a break. for any artist, you'll know this is barely any time, and thus, barely any progress made lol.

speaking of which -- it seems like all aaron does is get high and/or drink rather than actually doing anything. and yes, bill doesn't really do anything either. that's the point -- bill has no job and is also wasting his life away. but... at least with bill, you can say he DOES technically have hobbies. he does play games, read and watch stuff, has collections

bill has a very impressive (if not concerning) collection, and he's oftentimes successful in building it. bill as a lot to show for his hobbies. aaron? has barely anything. what i mean is that bill has determination, aaron doesn't.

of course, aaron's lack of passion might come from the fact that he DOESN'T care about anything he does and is actually, like bill, still a comic fan -- but hides that passion out of shame / a sense of approval (?)

but in the end, i still say aaron is worse. aaron has no genuine friends, aaron has terrible addictions, said addictions causes aaron to be even more violent, aaron is also more cowardly -- to scared to be himself, aaron lacks passion + determination + focus.

[thatpunkmaximoff]

[Book 3 of 4]

Story: 5 out of 5 Smut: 4 out of 5

I went into Twisted Hate expecting to not like it; 1.) because from the first two books I was not a fan of Jules and 2.) someone told me I was going to HATE Josh Chen.

After reading it, I LOVED IT!

I kind of figured Jules’ persona was a front, but learning of her past made me feel for her. And then Josh dealing with his past betrayals, it just hurt all the more when his trust was broken yet again. Jules and Josh’s love story is a chaotic one, but so far it’s been the most beautiful as they overcome their pasts together.

For most of the book, I didn’t understand why I was told I was going to hate Josh.. but when THAT scene came up I freakin’ bawled. I’ve never felt so bad for a character like I did with this book. But no worries, as the two previous books were, this one is a HEA.

Now enjoy my rambling..

* These two are so annoyed by each other, I can’t tell whether I’m going to like it or be annoyed by it 😂

* Lol Aw fuck. She would get mugged.

* Oh. Well they tried to mug her. Jules is a badass apparently.

* Oh no. What happened to Jules in Ohio?

* Pam is being a twat. Enter Christian Harper, who obviously has a thing for Stella, and I have a feeling the girls are getting this penthouse.

* That’s right, Pam. Do as you’re told and draw up them papers 😂

* The audacity of this dude to tell her to quit just because it’s his “safe space”. Get the fuck outta here.

* One bed trope. Always love it.

* They’re giving me whiplash. Just bang it out already!

* Oh come on, Jules. Don’t act like a sleepy Josh cuddling you was that disgusting 😏

* Aw fuck. What does Max want?

* “You want someone who can challenge you. Excite you. Keep you on your toes. And as for what you need.. you need someone to bend you over and fuck that attitude right out of you.” — Josh fuckin’ Chen, ladies and gents.

* Todd ruined the moment lmao. Fucking Todd.

* Jules is a fucking savage at putting Todd in his place 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻

* Jesus Christ. Josh fucks rough 😳

* Oh no. This arrangement is going to crash and burn lol

* Fucckkkkk. Max is in DC.

* I hate this Max dude so fucking much. Please let Alex or Josh kick his ass.

* Goddamnnnnn. Josh really likes choking during fucking 👀 👌🏼

* Josh doesn’t want anyone else seeing Jules all blitzed out post orgasm? Yeah, he definitely broke the rules.

* Josh defending Jules against Micah.. be still my heart 😂

* Ava being woken up by Josh and Jules’ sex noises has me laughing 😆

* Lmaooo. The girls getting arrested would ruin Alex and Josh’s make up moment.

* God, I really wish Jules will just ask Alex for a favor.

* Fuckkkk. She broke down. They really need to end this arrangement.

* Ding, ding, ding. So Josh realizes he has feelings. Finally!

* Holy shit. He actually told her she was his 😨 We’re only halfway through so I know the heartbreak is up next.

* Wow. Fuck Alistair and Adeline for doing that to Jules. But come on, girl, that was your moment to tell Josh the truth about what’s been going on!

* He fucking switch his plane tickets at the last second 😩 He gave up New Zealand to be with her in Ohio!

* Ohhh. He knows about the name change!

* A bookstore scavenger hunt as a first date? 🥹 Hell, I’m in love lol.

* Dammit. I wanted Alex and Ava to see them.

* THE AUDACITY OF MICHAEL CHEN!!! FUCK YOU! I hope you rot in prison.

* Damnnn. He tied her to the bed 😂

* Fucking Max ruining the afterglow. And I can’t believe what he wants her to steal. GET ALEX INVOLVED!

* Oh my god. Just tell Josh! This is gonna blow up in your face so bad 😩

* Goddammit, Jules. Your plan better be good.

* Ew. You went to Christian? Alex would have been better.

* Yesssss! Fuck Max. Now the hard part comes. Telling the truth.

* Wow, Josh. That was fucking cruel.

* Should have known Max wouldn’t go away so easily. Fuck this dude.

* Well fucking finally! Max got the beat down he deserved.

* “Take however much time you need. I’ll wait.” // “Why?” // “Because you’re it for me. Whether it’s today, tomorrow, a year, or decades from now, that’ll never change.” — 😭😭😭

* They made up 🥹

* Aww. They told Ava. Now who’s gonna tell Stella? Lol.

* Oh no. What’s going on with Stella now?! Where’s my last book!?

* Why do I get the feeling Dante Russo is very bad news and that this isn’t the last I’ll see of him?

* Aww. They moved in together! But Stella stayed in the apartment under Christian? I don’t trust this dude 👀

[cindylouwho-2]

Etsy Second Quarter 2023 Earnings Report - Get Ready For More Pressure To Discount

Above - Slide 9 from Etsy's Second Quarter 2023 report. © Etsy

Etsy's second quarter 2023 results beat projections, but the outlook for the third quarter was weak, and that has led to a sharp drop off of the stock. No doubt investors were unimpressed that Etsy has no convincing plans to begin increasing sales and profits again. The call announced nothing truly new in that vein.

First, the resources for this post:

the press release

transcript of the conference call

slides from the conference call

video of the call (click on “Webcast” under "Latest Quarterly Results")

my summaries of the second quarter 2022, and the first quarter 2023 for comparison

The basic numbers (covering April to June 2023, compared to the same period in 2022):

Sales on Etsy were $2.6 billion, down 0.7% 

Total sales for all 4 marketplaces (Etsy, Reverb, Depop, Elo7) were $3.0 billion, down 0.6% 

Etsy’s revenue (including all 4 sites) was $628.9 million, up 7.5%

Seller service revenue was up a whopping 20.8% to $175.9 million, while marketplace revenue was up 3.1% to $453 million

Net Income was $61.9 million, down 15.3% (in part due to the impairment charge from the impending sale of Elo7)

Active buyers on Etsy alone stand at 90.6 million, an all-time high

Active sellers on Etsy alone are 6.3 million, the second large jump in a row compared to the previous quarter; numbers had been stagnant through the end of 2021 and all of 2022 [Note that “active” means one charge or transaction in the past 12 months; many “active” shops currently have nothing for sale.]

Sales where the buyer and/or the seller was not in the United States were 47%, up from 44% last year, but most Etsy buyers are still in the US

Sales on mobile are now at 68%, up from 66% last year [this includes both the buyer app and mobile browsers]

I'll cover the points of the biggest interest to sellers below, with my comments in square brackets.

Advertising (On and Off Site)

Etsy Ads (the onsite ones) again helped increase the services income. CFO Rachel Glaser mentioned that "XWalk, our real time retrieval engine" was now a part of the Ads algorithm. [It was previously introduced in search results, to help draw connections between multiple sets of data rapidly as someone is searching.] They are now able to show ads in more places, increasing site profit.

Offsite Ads (aka performance marketing) cost roughly the same in the quarter, due to testing which led to Etsy reducing money spent on some platforms.

From the press release: "We expanded performance marketing investments from 13 to 20 non-core countries, now including the Czech Republic, Greece, Hungary, Poland, Portugal, Romania, and Slovakia."

Etsy Search

CEO Josh Silverman feels Etsy has made progress in search relevancy (Slide 6). Therefore, the next step is to "better identify the quality of each listing, so that from this relevant result set, we bring the very best of Etsy to the top. Our data shows that high quality listings attract a higher value buyer than our average listings, attract more repeat and habitual buyers, and most importantly, they often convert over 2 times better than other listings." No actual definition of "high quality listings" is provided. [This may be a refinement of the listing quality score.]

Etsy is training its machine learning software on "...a best of Etsy library, which is curated by expert merchandisers based on the visual appeal, uniqueness, and apparent craftsmanship of an item." (Slide 7) The models are then expected to find the best items out of large search results, and return those for searchers. [I hope these aren't the same human curators who supposedly selected the "Etsy's Pick" listings, as my only Etsy's Pick listing is a commercial pendant on my hand-cut chain. Totally Etsy-legal, and even appealing and well-made, but hardly unique - there are hundreds or maybe even thousands of these pendants on Etsy right now. (In my defense, there were a lot fewer when I started selling them.) Only my chain falls close to the realm of unique, due to the clasp.]

Etsy is also working on "collapsing" similar items on the first few search pages into sets, and offering shoppers several different sets to choose from, "showing you just the very best of each of a set of very different items". [I believe I have seen a test like this, where several rows of slightly different search results are shown for some queries. It could also mean an expansion of the "more like this" link under individual listings on the search page.]

[It appears to be time to accept that Etsy is not interested in being a site for niche searches any more; management only cares about the large searches converting. I understand what the engineers were trying to do with training the systems by adding more items in and letting the customers signal which results were good, but small and niche searches have only gotten worse over the past 3-4 years, and they've now effectively told us we can't expect any more improvement in this area. Search effort is now going to winnowing down large searches, not improving very small ones.]

Upcoming Promotional Plans & Focus

As usual, Etsy is focussed on retaining existing buyers as well as adding new ones. Hitting an all-time high in active buyers this quarter shows some progress in this area.

Given that "[t]here's no question this is a very promotional environment," we should expect to see more features around sales and discounts, as shown in Slide 9 at the top of this post. Those 3 boxes are part of a scrolling banner at the top of the Etsy home page in the US right now. [If you have tried to run a sale lately, you have already noticed that the lowest percentage off sale is 25%. You can enter a custom amount, but 25% is the default if you don't click for more options.]

They are already testing "a new price discovery functionality utilizing buyer demand data to help sellers think about how to price their items and when or how they might best use promotions as part of their mix." An example is shown in the top right corner of Slide 11 - see below:

[If this works as badly as the old tool from years ago - the one that compared hammered sterling silver pendants to plastic ones - then it will be a waste of time. And don't forget the tool that tells us our shipping for large heavy items is overpriced because it is comparing the listing to the shipping rates of the smallest items in the same category. The list goes on... However, many sellers would appreciate knowing more about what similar items are actually selling for, and it is possible Etsy heard that request, so we shouldn't write this test off before we see it.]

The new wedding registry has been doing well, with 14% of sales coming from first-time buyers. Etsy is opening a baby registry in August, and more categories may follow.

Silverman said that the Purchase Protection Program (PPP) "...reduced the issue resolution time for cases by approximately 85%". [I guess when there are rarely humans involved in adjudicating cases, that does tend to save time.] The site will soon mention this in even more places, to increase buyer confidence and bring them back more often.

Also on the way: "Buyers will see some new AI assisted ways to find crafted quality gifts for the loved ones at great value with even more confidence that these gifts will arrive on time." Gifting will continue to be a promotional focus.

Payment Reserves

Following the recent media attention to payment reserves, one analyst asked what the policy was meant to do in terms of benefiting the marketplace, and how the company is addressing the complaints. Silverman fell back on the "sellers not able to fill a rush of sales" example [even though that hasn't been the main reason for most of the recent reserves], and mentioned the previous day's announcement that reserves would be changing.

Depop, Reverb, and the Exit of Elo7

Etsy is selling Elo7, and is apparently taking a loss on it.

Depop's sales and revenue grew this quarter (year over year); new ideas and developments are detailed on Slide 16.

Reverb is still doing better than the general musical instrument market; details on Slide 17.

Miscellaneous

sales were down this quarter due to the month of April; May and June were both up, as was July [so the third quarter is up so far, but they noted the company traditionally has lower sales in August and September]. Silverman stated that the economy is in a down cycle, but that cycles change.

sales are declining in United States zip codes where the average household income is below $100,000 a year, and are growing in the zips above $100K a year.

the increase in marketplace revenue was partially due to having more non-US transactions, which usually have higher payment processing fees charged.

"advances in ML capabilities have enabled our enforcement models to detect an increasing number of policy violations." Slide 10 states they've "...removed 29% more listings for violating our Handmade Policy in 1H 2023 vs. 2H 2022". It's not clear if this includes all the ones they removed in error and later had to reinstate. [It's not just handmade takedowns that were mostly wrong. They caught my 2 "drug paraphernalia" listings earlier this year, as well as many top selling item from big shops, for no reason. As I explained in my coverage of the annual transparency report, only 5% of items Etsy reviews for violations actually need to be removed from the site. Increasing takedowns is a bad thing when they are almost all wrong, and especially when real and easy-to-find violations - such as boxes of commercial potato chip packages and actual roach clips - remain up. This initiative continues to get an F.]

almost 20% of vintage shops are choosing to use the new "Make an Offer" option.

Why Etsy Needs To Do More To Impress Investors

If you watch or read these calls every quarter, or even just read my summaries, you will note that there was very little new here, and certainly not much new that one would expect to substantially increase sales across the site. I think the upper brass recognized that, as the "challenging" times were stressed repeatedly, and they are still occasionally comparing numbers to the pre-pandemic stats.

Yes, it is great that Etsy has basically retained all of its pandemic growth; many other platforms - such as Wayfair and eBay - did not. However, analysts seem to be over that now, and are looking to future growth. Etsy's response seems to be that any substantial increase in marketplace sales will have to wait until the current uncertain world economic cycle improves. While they talk about incremental increases in sales expected from some current projects, their own projections for the third quarter aren't reflecting that growth, given Etsy now has more active buyers and sellers than ever before.

Have they possibly lost too many successful shops due to overreaching with payment reserves? Are buyers expressing concerns on that topic? Now that many more sellers can opt out of Offsite Ads, is that dragging down the company's income at all? Are they truly out of new ideas? These are questions that the analysts and the media need to be asking.

Perhaps Etsy is planning on another release that will lift marketplace sales, but right now they are keeping it secret. The company probably can't afford to wait on this much longer, though, if it cares about the stock price.

[reachgirl]

On Buddie and them potentially being aware of their feelings

So we definitely see evidence of how Eddie might feel about Buck, how he clearly loves and trusts him. He absolutely relies on Buck a lot as someone who loves Christopher, as that person you go to who cares about your kid as much as you do. And he clearly doesn’t handle not having Buck around very well during the storyline that must not be named. 

He also looks at Buck like “you’re lucky you’re pretty”, a LOT. And he’s shown to think about Buck’s wellbeing and Buck’s feelings. For a guy who’s not usually great at ~the talking~, he seems to sense that Buck needs to hear him actually *say* things like that he trusts him, out loud. For Buck, someone who’s been told that he’s reckless and impulsive, not diligent, not reliable (and to be fair to Bobby, has been all those things at times, but is desperate to change that view of himself), to be told that he’s trusted - more than anyone else - with someone’s kid? That’s huge. And Eddie knew that he needed to hear that, he also knew that he needed to feel like part of something when Buck was depressed and hanging around at home after the truck bombing. And Eddie was the one who noticed Buck wasn’t around at the station. For Eddie, the fact that they “have each other’s backs” is so important, because, and it’s insane how this is not wishful thinking on the fandom’s part, he actually tells Shannon that she doesn’t have his back. So yeah, absolutely nobody is disputing that Eddie loves Buck.

And I’ve talked about how I believe that Eddie might be bi leaning towards more into men than women (his “not my type” and aunt pepa’s reaction to buck are the foundation for this theory), and his particular combination of upbringing, experience and location really messing with him admitting that to himself (Conservative religious culture, Texas, army, getting married young because of outside expectations). But many of the scenes we get from him could - FROM THE OUTSIDE - very well just show a guy who has a lot of love and respect (and occasionally some fond exasperation) for his best friend. Possibly more, but not in that active, pining way. Not like he’s truly aware of it, yet.

But Buck? He pretty much always looks at Eddie like he’s the best thing that has happened to him, ever, and he can’t believe his luck of getting to be around this man. The smile he constantly gives him, and - in seasons 2 and 3 - only him, is the actual “I want to sleep with you smile” from season 1 Buck. I don’t make the rules.

He constantly finds ways to help him out, reads up on things he knows Eddie is interested in or things that are for some reason something Eddie is dealing with (whether it’s baseball biographies or summer camp brochures), and absolutely always looks to him for approval anytime he does something well or remotely badass. Or even when he makes a joke. It’s almost like 95% of the stuff he does, he does so that Eddie will see.

He sees himself as part of Eddie’s family to the point of not feeling like he’s a guest at their house, he has proven he would actually die for Chris, and he spends much of his free time finding ways of making Chris, the most important person in Eddie’s life, happy. He shares in both the happy and the difficult parts of raising Chris, he gets involved in school problems, and he’s there for Eddie to talk through all the little things that come up when you’re a parent. Often times, with single parents, when the other parent isn’t around, the problem is that there’s nobody else in your life who shares the same love and enthusiasm or worry you have for your child. You could talk about everything relating to them for hours, but even the best meaning friends will at some point reach the limit of how interested they are. Not so with Buck.

But unlike Eddie, Buck is also aware, to a point, of how much he’s focused on Eddie. Where Eddie’s jealousy comes across as more spur-of-the-moment, not something he’s even aware of, Buck seems like.. he’s thought about how he feels about Eddie. Others definitely have. Maddie’s comment about his “man crush” aside, even a random christmas elf (long may she live) comments on it. Hen and Karen immediately agree Buck would invite Eddie, like, Karen knows about this even. Their reaction when Buck is acting irrational over how they might get Eddie out when he’s buried alive and most likely dead already is that reaction of “Oh fuck, this will break this person” that is usually reserved for the significant other or parent. Bobby definitely reacts to Buck in relation to Eddie the way a father would, carefully weighing being amused at how obvious he’s being, and concern over not wanting him to get hurt doing something stupid trying to save Eddie, or by falling for him when it might not be reciprocated. They all know that Buck’s a little (more than) smitten with Eddie. And Buck... of course he’s going to notice how his friends and family react. I think he’s been aware of it for a while and is constantly trying to navigate and balance this. 

Of course he hasn’t told his face about balancing anything at all yet, because look at that man’s face any time he looks at Eddie, look at that scene with the medal. He absolutely can’t help it. And sometimes it’s like he wants them to pick up on it - for example, pushing Maddie on the fact that he doesn’t consider himself a guest. And that’s completely understandable, sometimes you want people to pick up on something and maybe even comment on it (because their reaction reaffirms to you that maybe you’re not crazy) while also not wanting attention on that point. People are complicated like that. And Buck may be a himbo, but he’s complicated AF.

We get Buck being really weird about Eddie and Shannon in general - right off the bat. When Shannon shows up at the station and she and Eddie talk, Buck’s in the background and overhears that they’re sleeping together. He clearly struggles with this information, (and Chim possibly notices..) then he get’s real petty about them potentially getting married again (”Maybe you can get a discount”) - and he nopes out of the situation as quickly as he can - because he doesn’t want to risk saying anything snarky.

Then Chim and Buck go christmas tree shopping, and Chim comments on how Buck can’t let Eddie’s situation with Shannon go, and it’s true, he can’t stop himself. But when Eddie asks him for advice in front of the fountain (/metaphorical water penis as I like to call it), he’s suddenly all “I didn’t think it was my business” ... ok, sure, Buck. Then he basically tells Eddie to try and make it work with Shannon. In terms of character development, in a romance, this is the part where person A wants to be with person B but doesn’t think they have a chance, so makes the choice to try and settle for being their friend, which, heartbreakingly, involves pushing them into the arms of someone else.

Also, his kind of “oversharing” of Eddie’s situation with Ana to the rest of the team is, to me, a pretty clear indicator that the topic makes him uncomfortable and he’s trying a Ross Geller-I’m making Fajitas- “let’s show everyone how very completely normal I feel about this” approach, which.. it doesn’t.. work that well. And when does this ever work, it’s super easy to see through this, and it usually just serves to draw more attention to the fact that you’re uncomfortable with whatever is being discussed.

Buck also takes everything Eddie says to heart. Like, fucking takes it and will not let go of it. Half a season after Eddie tells him that he makes everything about himself, he breaks down telling Maddie he’s worried he’s making the situation with the old firefighter about himself again. During the kitchen scene (or “The actual how-to-guide of what to do when you thought the guy you have a crush on doesn’t reciprocate but then you have a fight and he really doesn’t handle being away from you so well so you kind of might as well see where being a little more openly flirty will get you”), Buck’s clearly thought about Eddie’s words from the grocery store fight, and he’s gonna call Eddie out. And maybe do other stuff.

Looking at what the writers are actually doing, to end the season, there’s the clawing at dirt of it all, Buck falling apart when Eddie’s buried alive. Buck being in almost all of Eddie’s memories when he’s close to dying. And Maddie’s comment about not wanting to set Josh up with Buck, which is innocent enough, but why throw that in on top of all of the above, if not because maybe what we’re actually looking at is that they’re setting up a sexuality crisis for Buck, and him realizing he’s maybe into Eddie, but Eddie not actually reciprocating (yet)? And say Buck is then somehow forcefully pushed to see the truth about how he feels, maybe by, i don’t know, coming across TK and/or Carlos on a call, and one of them asking him how long him and Eddie have been together? We might get Eddie with Ana, and a very long, drawn out process of Buck realizing what’s happening and trying to leave them alone, and Eddie being really confused about why Buck’s being like that. Then we would have two options (well, more, really, but these are two I like): 1) Eddie pushing Buck on that point and demanding an explanation and Buck just coming out with it because fuck it and sorry and please let me see Chris still 2) Buck’s sexuality crisis (or not crisis, if he’s always been pan/bi, which, look, nothing I’ve seen has disproven this theory) leading to him dating a guy and Eddie getting really jealous but not actually being aware of the fact what he feels is jealousy (because he doesn’t realize how he feels about Buck, see this whole essay you just read), and Buck being the one who confronts Eddie about why he’s being such a homophobic asshole about this, and Eddie straight up kissing him because he can’t not anymore.

[forbiddenship]

it bothers me so much how people make the whole matt/sofia age gap thing into such a big deal just to invalidate portwell. as if this isn't a literal disney show. sorry for the negativity, i just saw a bunch of people talking about it today and it just soured my mood.

yeah, that bothers me too. and don’t apologize! i’ve actually wanted to address this for a while but just never brought it up.

it’s really just one more example of #those shippers’ hypocrisy and how they say literally whatever they can to fit the narrative they’re spinning that r*na = good and portwell = bad.

on the one hand, they make the usual comments about the actors’ age gap. this is valid, because i’m not here to tell anyone what they should and shouldn’t be comfortable with.

five years is a sizeable difference especially with one of them being a minor still, and as much as it hurts my portwell heart, i get why the show withheld that kiss from us. i’m honestly glad they did it too because 1) i now have that to look forward to in s3 and 2) if portwell had kissed in the finale, all the haters would’ve erupted and created a kissgate scandal and the scene would be kinda tainted by all of that negative discourse about it being gross/wrong. i think it’s much better that we get the kiss only once sofia turns 18 and there’s no valid reason for people to complain anymore.

all of this that i just talked about is (imo) a valid thing to be worried about when it comes to portwell, if i was thinking from the perspective of someone who doesn’t ship them (we gotta try to take the high road here, right?). what’s not valid at all is using the fact that there’s an age gap to draw your own illogical conclusions, like “matt and sofia didn’t kiss in the finale because they’re clearly uncomfortable filming a kiss.” don’t make dumb extrapolations without knowing anything.

i saw so many r*nas take matt’s words and just twist them around beyond recognition. in the live the day before the finale, he talked about how he and sofia were laughing a lot during the “hey babe” scene - which was a little awkward bc of their heights being so similar (and tbh i noticed it looking a little weird too but just from the back. but anyways it’s only bc of the boots sofia was wearing in that scene otherwise it’d be fine). and of fucking course they heard that as “portwell is awkward because no chemistry = they shouldn’t be together”

so many people are just pulling out of their asses that matt/sofia aren’t on board with portwell (when they’ve both been nothing but supportive and matt literally rambles on about pw making each other happy in every interview), they’re super awkward and uncomfy with it, etc. first of all: them laughing during takes and not being able to contain their laughter is because they’re best friends irl. it’s pretty obvious that they’re like one of the coolest dynamic duos to come out of this show and that they get along really well. they’re also super chaotic and laugh all the time.

none of that has anything to do with them having onscreen chemistry as screen partners. it’s very common that relationships and chemistry onscreen are reflections of real friendships offscreen, even if they’re not romantic in nature. the first example i can think of off the top of my head is jennifer and josh from the hunger games. they’re chaotic best friends and they’ve always said they love each other platonically, but no one would dare say they don’t have chemistry as their characters. that’s part of what makes portwell so appealing, and rina too. they capitalize on the natural chemistry between the actors. obviously this doesn’t mean the actors have any sort of feelings towards each other, i mean, nobody says that about sofia and josh, right? it’s literally just about how they play off each other. which is why chemistry readings exist and why they were all cast opposite each other in the first place. if you think about it, each of the core four has chemistry with the three others.

but okay, even if i were to play devil’s advocate and go along with the r*na line of thinking that matt/sofia don’t have any chemistry and only give off sibling vibes, the logic still crumbles. if the relationship btwn the actors is a siblings relationship / no chemistry, then why are all of them so pressed about the ship and the age gap? they’re only saying the age gap btwn the actors is weird because of the romantic connotation (which isn’t even about the actors but yk r*na logic), so how can they also say that the same actors are incapable of creating a romantic connotation? which is it???

anyways, sorry for such a long answer to your ask 😭😭 this has just been pissing me off for quite a while.

disclaimer: i do NOT ship the actors in any way, and nobody should be doing that because sofia is a minor and shipping real people is not a good idea regardless. most portwell shippers know how to separate the characters from the actors and don’t do this anyways. we just gush about how cute we think matt/sofia’s irl friendship is, which ofc our wonderful r*na friends just love to take out of context.

[spikeface]

rambling about taking pain on teen wolf

I’m 99.999% sure that the writers just used and described this phenomenon however it was expedient for them at the time, but in the spirit of turning it into a somewhat cohesive canon, I’ve been thinking about the evolution of the show’s understanding of what it means, and especially what that means for Theo’s, and to a lesser extent Stiles’, emotional growth.

The phenomenon is first introduced by Deaton, who frames it as a form of painless generosity (“Battlefield”):

DEATON: I know you're well aware of what your new abilities can do for you: improved strength, speed, and healing. You ever wonder what it could do for others?

He doesn’t claim it will do anything but take a little of a dying dog’s pain, but says that that gesture is significant (“a little can make quite a difference”). Incidentally, he is also making boys with abusive fathers/Alphas weep at the realization that they can use their power over small creatures in kind and nurturing ways, because that’s exactly the kind of teacher/father figure Deaton is.

Next up in pain-taking-teaching is Peter, who frames the exact same phenomenon as the pained person taking something from the one helping them (“Alpha Pact”):

PETER: It's that spark of power that makes you an Alpha. When you take her pain, she draws on the power that provides you with those special gifts: the power that heightens your senses, your strength; the power that transforms your body.

Everything for Peter is framed in terms of power and transaction, and crucially, it’s a zero sum game (this is also very similar to the Desert Wolf’s perspective on motherhood in “Apotheosis:” “Talia said it was a gift, that the coyote passes down part of her power to her daughter... I call it ‘theft.’”). Part of Derek’s evolution is not to reject Peter’s framework, but to reject his conclusion. He understands it as giving up power, but doesn’t care about power anymore; he wants to save his sister.

Then, in season 5, Deucalion uses taking pain as a way to consume someone else’s power. This is fascinating! Deucalion has inverted another traditional werewolf thing. He’s made a pack of Alphas, destroyed Betas instead of creating them, and now he turns taking pain into a way to take power instead of giving it up. I think this is why we only ever see Deucalion describe taking pain like this. Unsurprisingly, Theo seems to be his only student, and he understands it “perfectly,” since Theo, like Deucalion, is used to breaking the rules/norms of the supernatural world. It’s very significant to me that Theo subsequently takes pain from Josh, Tracy, and even the Beast. The boy can do it! He just does it in this toxic way that represents everything awful about his pre-Hell outlook on life.

Because, of course, after he comes back, Theo can’t anymore. Mason sees this and claims that it’s because Theo doesn’t care--and certainly, caring seems to be fundamental when Deaton introduces it. That’s why, I think, Isaac does it before anyone has explained the phenomenon (Deaton and Scott only explain afterwards); he wants this dog not to be in pain, so he automatically takes it. But! Crucially! Mason is wrong; caring is not required. Theo has taken pain before, and it wasn’t from a place of empathy.

I think Theo is unable to take pain from Mason post-Hell because he only understands taking pain in this toxic way still, and he’s genuinely trying to move away from it. I imagine him thinking to himself, “Okay, Theo, you got this. Just take pain. Don’t do it as part of this lethal consumption of everything Mason is. Don’t eat this boy who represents everything you’re not, the Doctors’ greatest success, at one point the Beast himself. Don’t. Do. It.” 

And, of course, nada. This means, ironically, that Theo can’t take pain anymore not because he doesn’t care but because he does -- he’s trying not to hurt Mason, which is the only way he’s used taking pain before. This shifts Theo’s arc, but to one that I think makes more sense for him. Theo has, imo, always cared--always wanted a pack, and human connection--just in a toxic, destructive way. His redemption arc is learning not to care but how to care, and that’s bound up in learning how to use his skills, which he previously used to hurt people, to help them instead. This fits his friendship with Liam, where he learns to use his ability to manipulate to walk Liam back from the ledge of his anger (when Liam is about to kill Gabe), and use his previously weaponized understanding of the human psyche to helpfully explain to Liam how his fear converts to anger and how emotional triggers work (at the zoo). By the end, Theo has learned how to use his powers for good, essentially, and is in a place where he can confidently take pain from Gabe without also consuming him. Gabe is a fitting recipient for this because, like Theo, he also cares very deeply--he does try to help Nolan--but his caring is ultimately (self-)destructive and doomed.

The last way we see taking pain come up is as a way to spark the healing process, which reverses the initial catalyst for it: causing more pain. Causing pain, it seems, does actually spark the healing process, as we learn from people steeped in old guard werewolf knowledge like Derek and Noshiko. But! That’s not the only way of doing things, and it might not work if the person is already in overwhelming pain. The first person to stumble upon this is Malia, who comes up with it all on her own as a way to help Corey (in “Lie Ability”). This is a fitting symbolic move for Malia, who has been left to come up with her own approach to life as the abandoned orphan of two very toxic parents. In her worst moments, she turns to violence that would make her parents proud. In her best, she thinks of, with almost no awareness of the context, creative alternatives to traditional ways of doing things.

The second instance of taking pain as a catalyst for healing is with Hayden and Liam, after Liam has been hurt by the Beast (“Maid of Gevaudan”). At that point, Stiles represents the old guard knowledge:

STILES: Okay, okay. Okay. Scott did this with pain. He could trigger it. Uh... pain makes you human. HAYDEN: He's already in pain! STILES: Right! Okay, but maybe adding a little more could help take away the pain?

I love Hayden for hearing that advice and immediately rejecting it. Here, Liam and Hayden recall Allison and Scott and the general theme of season one. Allison rejects almost all traditional Argent wisdom in loving Scott. Here, Hayden rejects traditional werewolf wisdom in loving Liam. Causing Liam pain to help him when he’s already in overwhelming agony sounds dumb! She’s going to take pain away instead--and it works! Turns out, some traditions are limiting or even bad and the kids will come up with new, better ways of doing things!

What I really love about this moment is that the old way of doing things is represented here by Stiles, who indirectly quotes Derek’s most destructive philosophy when he says, “Pain makes you human.” Stiles’ entire approach to life is almost always about causing and feeling pain with, I think, largely good intentions. Like the cause-pain-to-start-healing idea, this can work! His willingness to hurt himself and others helps him be brave, and protect people, and make hard decisions he thinks are necessary. But causing pain won’t help anyone past a certain point, when someone is already in a lot of it, and nowhere is this more evident than in Stiles’ arc in season 5. 

Stiles starts that season in a lot of pain, most of which imho stems from the nogitsune (which also presented a funhouse mirror version of siphoning pain where the nogitsune “ate” the pain instead, which Stiles experienced). Stiles’ paranoia about Theo and angst about Scott trusting him is, to me, a sign that Stiles is very much not healed from the events of 3b, where Stiles watched (and was forced to enjoy) Scott trusting the nogitsune and paying for it with a sword twisting in his guts and that pain-eating. His explosive “you trust everyone!” is really about how Scott trusted Stiles when he shouldn’t have (because he was the nogitsune), though Stiles can’t bring himself to say that for many reasons. Most of his distrust of Theo, I think, can be explained by the nogitsune--Stiles claims, after all, that Theo “isn’t Theo,” the same way Stiles wasn’t Stiles when he was the nogitsune. 

But Stiles’ response to his pain from the nogitsune is to lash out at himself and others, which helps exactly no one. In season 5, Stiles is now constantly presented with the lesson that hurting himself and others ultimately won’t help heal anyone, especially himself. He lashes out at seemingly-innocent Theo and it doesn’t help. He hurts his hand and it doesn’t help. He hurts his car and it doesn’t help. He beats Theo up and it doesn’t help. He hurts Scott at the hospital and it doesn’t help. Like Theo, Stiles is in a self-destructive tailspin, where tactics that have worked before are only driving him further and further into isolation and darkness (tempered only by Scott’s endless forgiveness and his father’s blind love, a topic for another day). The climax for this is, for me, when he’s trying to find Lydia in the tunnels with Theo (in “Lie Ability”). Stiles is doing a fantastic job of hurting Theo (who, to be fair, is a little punk who deserves it!), but is forced to realize that unless he quits that and actually does something constructive with Theo, Lydia is going to die. 

But I don’t think he really understands what he’s doing, or conceives of any alternative to it, until the moment with Liam and Hayden, where he essentially voices his philosophy for the first time: pain defines being human as opposed to a werewolf (a sentiment that recalls his rant to Scott about being human), and causing pain is helpful. Stiles watches Hayden reject this, and sees how taking pain away is a much better way to initiate healing. After an initial smile at Hayden’s success, Stiles’ expression, even as he makes a joke about doing things differently (“I’ll kiss him next time”) is extremely morose (see below), as he realizes, for I think the first time, that he’s going to have to find a better way of doing things or he’s just going to be causing more pain. I think this arc is part of what causes him to work with Peter in season 6, after naming him as the epitome of irredeemable evil in season 5.

[nowandajenn]

Hard To Get

Pairng: Chris Evans x reader

Warnings: None, except for Chris being doggedly persistent lol

Chris watches as you and a group of your best friends come into the bar, laughing and joking, arms slung over each other’s shoulders. 

“Hey, Mike! How are ya?” one of the girls calls out, smiling ear to ear. 

“Better than some, worse than others….” Mike, the owner says. 

“Annoyed by all!” you both say in unison, laughing. 

Mike turns to the server, a young guy in his late 20s who’s only been working there for about two weeks. 

“You give this girl whatever she wants tonight, on the house. It’s her birthday.” he says. 

You step forward and press a big kiss to his cheek and throw your arms around him. 

“You’re the best!” you exclaim. 

Chris doesn’t know exactly what it is exactly that draws him in; if it’s your smile, or the way you laugh, or if it’s the mischevious twinkle in your eye, but all he knows is he wants more. 

45 minutes later, Chris is watching as you’re bent over the pool table in the corner, trying to find the perfect angle to take your shot. You’re not dressed to the nines or anything, but you make a pair of skinny jeans that make your ass pop, and a purple sequined halter top that affords him a nice view of your cleavage look like the most amazing outfit in the world.

“Would you just go over and talk to her already?” Josh asks him.

“I’m working up to it.” Chris says defensively. 

“Well, you better hurry it up before this place closes and you lose your chance forever.”

“Not forever. She obviously comes in here a lot. She seems like she knows the owner pretty well.”

“Yeah, but knowing your luck, you won’t be back in town for months, and by that time, she might be coming in with a new boyfriend. So just shoot your shot already.” 

“You’re a real dick, you know that?”

Josh just smirks. 

You sit down at the bar to take a break from dancing and to order some wings and more drinks for you and your friends. After a spectacularly shitty week that saw you passed over for a promotion that you deserved and being stood up by a blind date (never again), spending your birthday out with your best girlfriends is the perfect way to unwind and forget about it all. 

You’re waiting for your food and sipping your beer when a guy who looks remarkably like Chris Evans sits down next to you. 

“Hey, can I get a Stella?” he asks the bartender. He nods and gets the beer from the cooler and then pops the top and sets it in front of him. 

“Cheers.” he says. You flash him a smile and touch your bottle of Sam Adams to his beer before you both take a drink. 

“So, I heard it’s your birthday.” he says. 

You laugh and look down at your watch. 

“Only for another half an hour, technically.” you tell him. 

“It’s my birthday too.” 

“No kidding?” you ask. 

“Nope. 39.” 

You laugh. “Prove it.”

He pulls out his ID, holding his thumb over the address as you scan it. 

Holy shit, this IS Chris Evans!!

Your eyes settle on the date of birth, and sure enough, it’s June 13th, 1981. 

“Well, happy birthday to us.” you say with a grin, and you clink your bottle against his once more. 

“Did you want to dance?” Chris asks. 

“Oh…..I…..” you turn around and look towards where your friends are congregated. 

“I’m really flattered, I am, but I don’t want to be an asshole and bail on my friends, you know?” 

You feel bad immediately when you see his face fall slightly. 

“It’s okay. I understand. You should go have fun. You’re only young once.” he tells me. 

You apologize once more before slipping off the barstool and heading back to your friends.

2am finds you outside, sweaty and needing some fresh air after dancing your ass off without taking a break. 

You’re just about to light your cigarette when you hear a voice coming from your left side. 

“Can I bum a smoke?” 

You almost drop your lighter; you really thought you were the only one out here.

“Jesus Christ, make a noise!” you say, holding your hand over your heart. 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Chris says. 

You fish your pack out of your purse and pull out a cigarette and hand it to Chris and then hand him your lighter. 

“You smoke but you don’t carry cigarettes?” you ask. 

“I’m more of a social smoker. I try not to make it a habit.” he explains. 

You make small talk as you smoke, and you laugh at his cheesy dad jokes. He really is cute and funny and charming, but you’re really not looking for anything right now. Especially not with someone famous. You can only imagine what a headache THAT must be. 

“So, you ready to dance with me now?” he asks, smirking. 

You laugh. “My God, you are tenacious as hell.” 

He shrugs. “Well, I didn’t get this far in life by being shy and keeping quiet. I don’t know what it is….but I saw you and my heart just kind of skipped. I know that sounds so stupid and cliche’, but something just drew me to you.” he says. 

You sigh. 

“Can I be really honest with you?” you ask. 

He nods. 

“I’m coming off of a really shitty week. Actually, it’s been a pretty shitty year. It’s kind of just been a string of disappointments all in a row. And I promised myself that I would start off 35 the right way. I’m going to find a new job, I’m not going to get wrapped up in guys and their bullshit. I’ve spent way too much time focused on other people and their happiness, that I’ve completely ignored my own. I like you. I really do, but I’m just not looking to fall into the same habits. It’s nothing against you. It’s just the fact that I’ve been burned one too many times and I’m kinda over it.” 

“I get it. Honestly, I do. Trust me, I’ve been where you are now. It’s exhausting being hurt so many times.” he says. 

Before you can say anything else, he gives you a beautiful smile before stubbing out his cigarette and turning to go back inside. 

Again, you feel like an asshole. 

About thirty minutes before last call, all hell breaks loose. Your friends have all decided to call it a night, citing early mornings and needing to relieve babysitters as reasons for bailing, but you’ve decided to stick around a little longer. 

A group of really drunk dudes have decided to throw down and you’re just desperately trying not to get in the way. You don’t feel like being smooshed to death by one of the assholes. 

A beer bottle gets thrown your way, and before you can even wince or make a move, you’re hitting the floor and there’s a huge weight on top of you. You crack one eye open to see what’s happening, to find Chris on top of you. 

“Hi.” you breathe out. 

“Hi. Sorry. I saw that bottle headed your way, and I just kind of….”

“Decided to throw yourself on me?” you ask, laughing. 

He looks down, between himself and you and shrugs. 

“Pretty much, yeah.” 

By the time you both get up off the floor, the fight has broken up, and the offending parties have been escorted out. 

“Thank you. For saving me from death by beer bottle.” you tell him. 

“I don’t think it would have been THAT bad, honestly.” he chuckles. 

“Still….thank you.”

You don’t know what comes over you, but you raise up on your toes and press a soft kiss to Chris’ lips. 

The two of you just stand there for a moment, staring at each other, trying to process exactly what just happened. 

“I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t-”

You don’t get a chance to finish because Chris wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you closer before pressing his lips against yours, and kissing you soundly. 

By the time you break apart for air, they’re calling last call, and you’re trying to get the oxygen back to your brain. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” 

You nod. “Mmmhmm. Yeah. I do.” 

 The Usual Suspects: @averyrogers83 @wordywarriorwrites @imanuglywombat @joannaliceevans-fanficblog @hlkwrites @reminiscingrogers @mom—nicole @jtargaryen18 @alexakeyloveloki @kelbabyblue @sarahp879 @moonlessnight14 @mojean13 @mrskokitztelford @artisticrogers1972 @southerngracela @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @mybesttobobcratchit @gracethegeek9902 @mdemontespan1667 @marvelfansworld @capslut2014 @dispatchvampire @jamielea81 @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety​ @nerdy-bookworm-1998​ @southerngracela​ @what-is-your-plan-today @letsdisneythings​ @theladybiers @lexeeehhh @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ @autumnrose40 @donutloverxo​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @jessayw

@smediumsmeatbae

Kinktober 2020: @saiyanprincessswanie​ @superquirky-blog

[moribundanchor]

The Pelle/Dani Receipts, Post Six: Dani’s Birthday Plot

[tents fingers]

Now, Pelle finally has Dani all to himself. Yessssss. And he wastes exactly NO TIME passing to her an unfolded piece of paper he’s been keeping tucked away, with a nose scrunch (I’m sorry, it’s adorable) and a soft, surprise “Hey. Happy birthday.” Yes, Dani, someone remembered. Actually, someone spent a good deal of time carefully drawing a beautifully realized pencil portrait of you, complete with a flower crown and runes. Someone has been thinking about you kind of a lot, girlfriend of someone’s friend. How do you think he drew that? From memory? Do you think he has pictures of you? Anyway, Dani is thrilled and surprised and just so happy, which is also kind of telling. Real talk: he has effectively cornered her and privately given her a fairly personal gift, which he will encourage her to keep secret (more on that in a second). If she weren’t receptive, it could be creepy or at least awkward. If she weren’t into it, can you imagine how weird the rest of the festival could be? And this is the first day. But you are into it, aren’t you, Dani?

“It’s just something I do for birthdays,” Pelle smiles, and then he hesitates, as though the thought has just occurred to him. “Maybe it’s not appropriate?” Okay, Pelle, sweetie, forgiving the fact that were you actually concerned about whether it was appropriate to give her this, you probably would have mentioned it to Christian and/or not taken scrupulous care to give it to her on the downlow, why wouldn’t it be appropriate to give this gift? Because it could be construed as romantic, of course. Because it is pretty darn romantic. This is how I see you, Dani. But in asking Dani whether it’s appropriate, master manipulator Pelle is using the rhetorical device of apophasis, suggesting something by not suggesting it, basically, “Here’s a romantic thing, Dani. Do you mind? It’s not romantic.” SURE, PELLE. And then he suggests that they keep it “just between us.” Okay, Pelle, so if it’s an appropriate gift, offered purely in the spirit of friendship, no big, you’d do it for Ingemar or Josh, why keep it secret? His rhetorical moves here swing from denial to affirmation, throwing out mixed signals like a motherfucker to both assure Dani of his feelings and continue to provide plausible deniability. 

But then, Dani gamely accepts his terms, agreeing to keep the portrait between them...like that's no big deal. Consider for a moment what is implicit there. Christian can’t know. Why can’t Christian know? Is it because Christian is unusually jealous? There’s no evidence of that; he just left his girl alone with Pelle. It’s because this is the first (that we know of) exchange in an emotional affair, and while Pelle has given her plenty of plausible deniability, Dani isn’t even tentative about it. Yes, this is our secret. Remember how happy she was talking to Pelle on the couch in New York.

Then Dani, smiling as genuinely as she only does for Pelle, confides in him that Christian forgot anyway. So, not only does she alleviate Pelle of any suggestion of inappropriateness--which is less accepting that it isn’t a romantic gift and more that she tacitly accepts the gift with all its implications--she directly compares Pelle remembering her birthday to Christian forgetting it. This moment gets glossed over in favor of Pelle’s much more overt seduction of Dani, but please notice: Dani is comfortable with admitting something that personal about her relationship with Christian to Pelle. If he were just an acquaintance, if he were closer to Christian than Dani, why would she tell him that? It would be embarrassing to her and awkward for him as Christian’s buddy. Exact words: “Christian forgot anyway so this [portrait] is amazing.” Christian forgot, you remembered, 1 point to Team Hårga. Not to mention telegraphing your relationship woes to a man who just gave you a romantic gift is a considerably less subtle signal than Pelle’s apophasis. We’re not suggesting that Dani is unambiguously, consciously, deliberately lighting her signal fire for Pelle here...but witness. The signal fire done got lit. 

One more important bit about this scene. As we will point out over and over, Dani mirrors Pelle and the other Hårgans a lot, but also notice that when Dani shares that Christian forgot, Pelle perfectly mirrors Dani’s stunned/upset “oh” when he failed to condole her on the couch in New York. Like her “oh,” Pelle’s clunks loudly to the floor between them, interrupting their whole ambiguously flirty groove, but, for Dani/Christian severance purposes, it’s important he does this. Constitutionally empathetic as he is, Pelle could easily buffer the awkwardness of the moment, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t do anything to help Dani rationalize Christian forgetting. He simply reflects back to her discomfort and shock that Christian could be so callous of her feelings, leaving Dani to inadequately flail for excuses. In the end, she can’t excuse him, and so she re-ups her appreciation for Pelle’s gift once again, but she will leave that scene not only knowing Pelle cares, but having been forced to acknowledge, if only to herself, that Christian apparently doesn’t. Nice work, Mr. Pelle.

But Pelle is not done. Not our soft sweet cultboy. Skipping ahead to Pelle showing everyone the Youth House, he takes Christian aside at his first opportunity. We aren’t privy to a lot of his conversation, as the camera follows Dani to the wall of portraits of the May Queens, but we do catch the very end, up close and out of focus, as Dani also seems to key in on their talking covertly. Christian is aghast, as Pelle is telling him that he has forgotten Dani’s birthday. He asks Pelle if Dani said anything. And this is when Pelle tells one of his very few direct lies in all of Midsommar, assuring Christian that Dani didn’t mention it. This is important. Ari Aster blurs a lot of what Pelle knows when, but he wants us to know something unambiguously here, a rarity for this film: this isn’t a kindness gone awry. Pelle is setting Christian up. [grabs megaphone] PELLE IS SETTING CHRISTIAN UP. When Dani interrupts them with a question, Pelle nods and gestures significantly toward the bed before joining her, showing Christian something we can’t see.

As Pelle explains the May Queen dance competition, Christian gathers himself and then he asks Dani if she can join him outside, hiding something behind his back. Cue off-key happy birthday serenade and Christian trying to light a candle with a bad lighter. The cake, candle, and lighter could only have been provided by Pelle. That is presumably what he’s pointing out to Christian on the bed before he moves over to Dani by the May Queen photographs. It’s orchestrated to be obvious to Dani that Pelle is the real person behind the gesture, because Christian would have had no opportunity to arrange it. And of course, she saw them talking right before. After Pelle’s thoughtfulness, it will be obvious to her, and Pelle’s cover-story of arranging this to save Christian’s forgetful hide just makes it all the more apparent that he forgot. So Pelle might look like he tried to be a good friend to Christian, but he’s clearly presenting himself as a much better friend, maybe more, to Dani. 

We also headcanon that Pelle made the lighter intentionally bad by emptying most of the fluid, thus making Christian’s insincere gesture all the shittier. The fact that he has to flounder with the bad lighter just underlines that he hasn’t prepared at all. Meanwhile, in the background, several Hårgan women sway and soothe a baby, foreshadowing the way Dani will be comforted when Christian betrays her in the Maja impregnating ritual.

For more, click on The Pelle/Dani Receipts Masterpost

[lionheart-giddings]

Day 19: Favorite Romance

Augh, very behind on this!! But I managed to make something for day 19!!

So, these two,,I love these two with my whole heart. Aside from these two being my favorite characters in the game, their relationship ticks off pretty much every check for what romances I’m a sucker for. There’s mutual teasing, support, angst, and the forbidden best friend’s brother trope.

From the beginning-ish of the game, the two of them share some cheesy banter. I will never get over Josh’s cocky proposal of helping her get into the bath, and her notorious “hardy har”. They crack jokes at one another on their way to the basement, and I adore that sort of casual chemistry. Their relationship is the type where Sam rolls her eyes enduringly before Josh can even crack a dumb joke. It’ll never be confirmed, but I think that the two of them love this playful aspect of their relationship. Being able to just say complete cheese with someone else is just something I adore.

Not only do Sam and Josh tease each other, but they tease and encourage Ash and Chris to hook up. Love the thought of it so much, because they’re such hypocrites. The irony is *mwah*.

 One of the biggest aspects of any relationship I’ve seen regarding Josh has been support. Whether it be Sam, Josh, Chris, or Ash, all of them offer him some bit of support during the loss of his sister and his personal descent into madness. One of the scenes that sticks most with me, and really got me to ship the two of them, was when Josh stopped Sam to talk before entering the basement. Of course, the choice to comfort and console him is optional, but regardless, it’s one that is present for her. I’ve never not selected it when playing, because I just love hearing her genuine concern for him.

One of my favorite tropes for them, and probably my most guilty pleasure, is the angst between them. From Sam thinking that Josh is dead, to the reveal of him being the Psycho, their relationship is ridden with angst. Of course if you saw one of your best friends get sawed in half, you’d have an extremely emotional response, and Sam is no exception for that. Aside from this, Josh notably struggles to knock her out if he manages to catch up with her, saying he’s sorry for doing this.

Before it’s actually revealed that he’s the killer, Sam is the one who collects the most clues to piece together Josh’s identity as the killer, and hearing the dialogue exchanged between them when discovering this just pains me. 

"You're crying out for help, Josh... Come on, you wanted to get caught, didn't you?"

"Oh sure. I'm totally just crying out for help. 'Help me! Oh help me! Help help...'"

It’s just such a heart wrenching scene, and makes me wish that in another universe, he would have reached out for the help he needed. Sam seemingly knows that he was struggling, given her interview in the end, specifically her whole “I thought we had a connection” speech. It gives me chills every time because of how broken she feels, being betrayed by someone she trusted and truly thought she knew. Regardless of her relationship with Josh, she will always mention this connection, and this just makes my heart melt. This, coupled with the fact that Sam insists that the authorities return to the mines to mine can insinuate that she wants them to find the Wend*gos as well as Josh or his remains. Just the fact that it ends on this note draws me to creating closure via roleplays, finding art, or reading fanfics.

I’m also very partial to this pairing thanks to my long-term roleplaying partner and boyfriend. It’s become a comfort pairing for me and him, and we’ve spent loads of time coming up with dorky headcanons together. Something this consistent has just really been nice to have, and has over all been really entertaining to be invested in. The moments we’ve shared using these two characters have been really personal and comforting, and I’m just so happy that this pairing exists.

[fortysevenswrites]

📓📔📒📕📗📘📙📚📖!!!!!!!!!

Okay. 9 books, 9 fics. You're welcome.

1. Kastle/The West Wing Crossover Every time I watch TWW, I think about Karen and Donna Moss being friends, and once I thought of a fic where during the early seasons of TWW, the President and staff go to New York and Karen is moderating one of the series of town halls they're there for (specifically one where Josh Lyman is speaking). And of course that one, because reasons I had not yet come up with, gets attacked by The Hand, and Karen, Donna and Josh (who gets injured, because Josh ALWAYS gets injured) get rescued by Frank and it basically ends with the President demanding to meet Frank to thank him for saving Josh's life and everyone is like, "Mr. President do you not understand that Frank Castle is technically a MURDERER and the Secret Service will n e v e r let you in the same room with him and it's bad enough that you're currently on the same ISLAND?" So, yeah.

Here's something I wrote for it:

“Josh, did you hear?”

“I have impeccable hearing, Donna,” Josh says without looking up from the memo in his hand. “What is it that I am supposed to have heard?”

“Carol told me that she heard from Lindsay in credentialing that Karen Page has been assigned to cover the President’s town halls in New York for the New York Bulletin!”

He waits for her to keep going, but she doesn’t so, he looks up and sees her waiting expectantly, “And?”

“Karen Page? What It Means To Be A Hero Karen Page. She’s connected to half the vigilante-superheroes in Lower Manhattan. She was held hostage by ninjas. She interviewed Tony Stark about the Sokovia Accords. Last year, The Punisher himself may or may not have held her hostage after saving her from that terrorist Lewis Wilson.”

“And?”

“And, would it be inappropriate, as a member of the White House Staff, to ask her for her autograph?”

Kastle: The Big Indulgence

This is one of the first long fics I came up with for Kastle (and come hell or high water I WILL write it one day). Basically, it puts the NMCU actually IN the MCU. Post TPS1, Sarah tracks Karen down and they become friends, and at the same time, Frank becomes friends with Bucky Barnes (yes Emily, I know he's not your fav) by way of Curtis' group (Curt, of course, regrets ever letting them interact ever). Karen gets nominated for an award for her journalism work by the Maria Stark Foundation, where she meets Pepper, Natasha, and Darcy, and befriends them as well. Everything comes to a head and Karen and Frank reunite after the discovery that Sarah Lieberman is related to one of Bucky's surviving family members (the Liebermans are Jewish, Bucky's family is Jewish, it works!). Then, things related to Billy and Hydra happen, there's an incident where a few people disappear into an alternate universe for...an... amount of time, the Avengers meet the X-Men to help get them back, and Frank may or may not be a little psychic. Someone ends up coming from that alternate universe who doesn't belong here, but it's okay because she's [redacted] and also Leo's [redacted].

Leo-Centric, Kastle

Leo gets an internship as Darcy Lewis' assistant (well, technically she's working for Jane Foster, but it's basically working for Darcy), where she meets Karen, matchmakes her with Frank, and also gets a girlfriend. I think the summary says it best:

Summer 2021.

In which Leo Lieberman gets the internship of a lifetime—working for Jane!Freaking!Foster’s soon-to-be former personal assistant, Darcy Lewis—both comes out of the closet AND gets the girl, and helps her long-lost murder-uncle finally reconcile with the ace reporter of his dreams.

If Frank was actually bulletproof, it would totally be just like Superman and Lois Lane.

5 Times Seth Tells Kate He Loves Her

A five-times fic where Seth is just ass over tea kettle in love with Kate, and makes sure she knows it and doesn't care what other people (read: Richie and Scott) think about it. The first one takes place the night they get back from Matanzas, and I just love the little bit I've written so far. I know 2 that I'm going to write so far, so...3 to go.

Kate Meets Vanessa Post S3

So I started writing this around Valentine's Day this year, and I might keep it as a Valentine's Day fic no matter what, but basically, in a grand universal coincidence, Vanessa strolls into Jed's just because she's stopping for lunch on her way to...somewhere. She meets Kate, who is covering the bar for Kalinda and Greer (a culebra OC that I will one day actually formally introduce in my fics, I promise), who are downstairs "checking on inventory" read: screwing in a maintenance closet because it's Valentine's Day, and then Seth comes out and there's a little, very awkward reunion, and basically Vanessa is the MOST amused, Seth is the MOST uncomfortable and Kate's just like...okay? And? Also, Seth is still bitter about Vanessa taking the tire iron to his car back in early S1.

The SK/Detroit 187 Fusion

Seth is a detective in Houston PD, who comes into the office one day to discover they...hired an intern? Said intern is Kate Fuller, a grad student at the University of Houston, who is working on her master's thesis by studying something related to crime (duh). Seth thinks she's a Disney princess in human form and they're very antagonistic with one another, but also he likes her way more than he thinks he should (but feels a LOT better about it when he finds out she's 23, not like...barely legal to drink or anything. Angst happens when a gang (Malvado's, but Carlos' branch of it) attacks Kate's family and kills her parents, and Seth takes her to Eddie and Richie for protection while he and his partner, Ximena, and the rest of the department solve the case and put Carlos' crew away.

SK Post 2x02 AU

After Kate and Seth part ways in 2x02, Kate goes back to Bethel, but Scott isn't there (so Jessica lives). She ends up in Houston for two years, working at a gym and keeping her to the ground looking for word about her brother, until one night, she's attacked by a bunch of Culebras, and is saved by Seth, Richie, and Kisa. She finds out that Carlos and Malvado are after her because she's the key to the way to the Blood Well, and Carlos and Malvado's henchwoman, the one and only Sonja, draws them all back to Bethel by putting Jessica in danger, and...it's all going to come to a head in some way that involves them saving Jessica from Sonja and killing Malvado and stopping the events of S3 from ever having to happen.

SK Season 1 AU

I don't know if i'm ever going to go anywhere with this, but I had this thought of...what is Carlos as Kyle wasn't a dick to Kate, and he took her to Mexico instead of Kate going back with Jacob and Scott. She ends up at the Twister before Seth and Richie do, and spends time with Kisa before she goes out to perform, and somehow it ends up with Kate going through the labyrinth with the brothers? I don't know. Something like that.

The FDTD/The Punisher Crossover That Starts Off In New York

So this is one of 2 crossovers I have for SK-meets-Kastle, but I love it. This is post 2x02, and Kate ends up in New York after not being able to find Scott back in Bethel. She ends up going to work as NM&P's assistant, and befriends Karen. To get to know one another better, Karen takes Kate to Josie's, where Kate discovers that Josie is a culebra, and Josie promises to keep Kate's secret. One day, this...guy shows up at the office, asking to talk to Karen, and Karen kicks Kate out of the office while they talk, and when she comes back, the guy is gone and Karen doesn't want to talk about it. (It's Frank, of course it's Frank). Also featuring one day where Frank is on the roof, Matt gets wind of it and goes up there to confront him about seeing Karen again and comes back with a black eye, and Kate is V confused whereas Karen is 10000000% pissed off at them both. Not long after, Kate and Karen are out one night, and they're attacked by a bunch of culebras. Frank helps intervene while Kate really is the one to save the day...and then she has to explain culebras to them. Of course, Karen saw aliens fall out of a portal above Stark Tower, so...snake vampires? Whatever. Kate calls Freddie to figure out why she was attacked and it turns out Carlos and Malvado are after her (and, later found out Karen too). Kate, Karen and Frank end up in Texas and things all come to a head at the blood well, as it does, and while Carlos shoots Kate in front of Seth, Richie, and Scott (which, BAD IDEA), Kate falls into the blood well, and when she's pulled out, she's healed. But...she also has something inside her that wants to destroy the world, and everyone has to race against time to figure out how to get Amaru out of Kate before she takes over completely and destroys them all. They figure out a way, but it has an...interesting side effect for Kate and Seth. Also, this is the one where Maggie takes one look at Freddie and Ximena and shrugs and says, "You know what? Porque no los dos?"

So yeah, there you go!

(Also, I thought about also including the Amaru isn't evil, she's just cranky and wants to go home, S3 AU, but we just talked about it yesterday, so I figured it doesn't count hahaaha.)

send me a book emoji of any kind and i will tell you about a fic idea i have

[59writes]

THE DRAW (PART ONE)

(PART TWO)

if you’re reading this as like an actual fic: first of all I’m sorry. how did you end up here. it’s most definitely 2 am go to bed. this fic was literally made because of a fucking uquiz about “ what kpop boy are you enemies to lovers with”

second of all, ignore any chess mistakes. idk I know legit fuckall about chess, my brother just always bitches about it whenever I want to stop playing because I just have my king left or smth like that because I know I’ve lost. mf reads chess books.

like look: I UNDERSTAND the game and how it works, and the idea that you have to think ahead and plan. but I’m adhd as shit and there’s no such thing as time or planning. ergo, I suck. like I SUCK. I feel like if I applied myself I’d be great but fuck that. I’m a bad chess player and y’all gotta deal.

third: I mention League Of Legends at one point. I’m so cringe yes shut up ok but I’ve been special interest-ing League for several months now and I need to let you know that Josh, y/n, and Jeonghan play a mean jungler/adc/support combo (respectively). I have so many more headcanons typed in my draft or whatever but I know nobody wants to see it so

anyways pls enjoy this train wreck of a fic lol

If you had known playing chess would have led to this bullshit, you never would have started playing in the first place.

You wouldn’t have worked your ass off, wouldn’t have pored through strategy books and watched live-streamed games, wouldn’t have competed for months to become an official grandmaster. Absolutely not. None of that hard work and pride deserved to be wasted on Yoon Jeonghan.

Thanks to your exceptional academics and study habits, as well as your headlining pursuits in chess, private schools crawled to your front door and begged for you to give them money just so they could brag about having you as arm candy. You didn’t care. It was free scholarships, a chance to leave your tiny town, a chance to start anew with people just like you. If you were lucky, they wouldn’t know your fame status, or would be used to the junk by now. Some would probably be even more popular than you.

So you grabbed a paper, scribbled a signature on, and packed your bags.

You had picked an academy for the arts, as logic games apparently counted as one. They figured they could do something with your whimsical essay writing as well, submit you in scholastic contests. It didn’t matter. You were free, and there to play some goddamn chess.

They had a hardcore club there, meeting daily on weekdays and occasionally for casual play on the weekends. Everyone there was excellent, all clever players with quick logic and a competitive edge that you hadn’t seen in a while. It was refreshing, but still not enough of a challenge.

You swept the floor with your classmates, and rose to the top of the club’s rankings within a week.

Of course you lost games here and there, as everyone did, but for the most part any game you began was imbalanced from the beginning. Your opponent could at best only defend themselves, only able to pick off pawns or bait bishops that inevitably ended in a brutal checkmate.

You were top of the class, and for once it took some effort. You felt like you’d earned something, and you were actually interacting with serious chess players who wanted to learn, not fawn over your work. They played fair and every game was fun.

That was until the blond bitch came in.

He sauntered into the class about a month after you’d hit the top of the leaderboard, long blond hair tied back in a neat and slick ponytail. You barely noticed, immersed in a game with another boy, Joshua. You studied the board as your opponent looked up, grinning wildly.

“Jeonghan!” He called out, waving at the other boy.

Jeonghan’s ponytail whipped across his shoulder as he turned, matching Josh’s smile with a killer beam of his own and jogging over.

“‘Shua!” He chirped, playfully wrapping an arm around Joshua’s neck, strangling him while his other hand smooshed Josh’s hair around.

You watched them wrestle for a second before clearing your throat. “Josh, your move.”

“Aw shit.” Josh says, wrestling Jeonghan’s arm away from his shoulder. “Back to the ass kicking.”

You grin. “If you hadn’t made that dumb move literally third turn in-“

“Hey! We are NOT talking about that!”

You snort and glance at Jeonghan, who’s gone quiet, studying the board. He crouches down and whispers in Josh’s ear, both of them scanning the board. Josh finally nods, pushing one of his pawns forward.

“What was that about, Hong?” You ask, capturing said pawn with a neat L from your knight.

“Nothing.” He replies sweetly, while Jeonghan smirks.

“Sure it wasn’t.”

Josh doesn’t reply. The rest of the game is tensely quiet, interrupted only by Jeonghan murmuring into Joshua’s ear every few minutes, a devil on his shoulder.

But it was fine, you were ahead by a few pieces, your bishops slowly inching towards a checkmate. The next move was it, the game in the bag.

And then your queen is gone.

Jeonghan takes the liberty of removing it from the board with a proud smile while Joshua cackles.

The game doesn’t last much longer, soon the both of you down to just pawns and your king, and then just the kings. A draw.

And let’s be honest here: Joshua kinda sucks at chess.

Josh counted it as a victory, though, hitting Jeonghan with a high five that echoed around the classroom like a firecracker. The boys talked briefly while you set up the board again for the next duo and packed your bag, ready to head to your dorm for a much-needed nap.

You wave to Joshua and turn to go, only making it a few steps before someone grabs your wrist. You whip around, ready to tell them off, only to be met with Jeonghan interrupting whatever swear you were about to say with a sharp smile.

“I’m playing you on Monday.”

He lets go of your wrist and turns around, resuming his talk with Josh as if nothing happened.

Rubbing your wrists ruefully, you headed home.

•••

Of course, his bullshit didn’t stop there.

You did, in fact, play him on Monday. He had you cornered within five minutes.

The next time, in four.

He gathered a crowd a few games in. Every time you’d meet his gaze he’d smirk, eyes brimming with some sort of superiority that made you furious, always endlessly cool and calm. He’d flick his hair over his shoulder every so often, even stopping to talk to spectators while you puzzled over the board, trying to hide your stress.

You were second place by Wednesday.

•••

“You cheated.”

Jeonghan just raises a brow.

“Put the rook back.” You growl, firm.

“Sorry?” He ignores your request, instead poking at one of your previously captured pawns he has resting on the table next to him. “Can you move? I’ve almost got checkmate.”

“My rook, Yoon.” You hold out your hand. “Give it back, or put it back yourself. H6.”

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about. Do you resign? If we were using a timer you’d have been disqualified sometime last week.”

It’s taking every ounce of self control to not slap the living shit out of the smug bastard. “Jeonghan, if you don’t-“

“How’s the game going here?” The chess club leader had made her way to your table, grinning widely upon seeing her favorite students.

Jeonghan smiles kindly at her while you curl in on yourself, trying not to explode. “It’s fine, Ms. Lee. Almost done with this one.”

“Are you missing a piece? Looks like the black rook-“

“Must have fallen off the table.” Jeonghan chirps, ducking under the table and returning with the piece in hand. He sets it with the rest of his captured black army, sending a thumbs up at Ms. Lee. “Thanks for noticing, we don’t need to lose any more pieces.” It’s an innocent sentence, but it makes you turn a boiling red. Lose a piece, my ass.

“Well played, both of you.” She replies, patting Jeonghan on the head fondly before walking off. The blond rolls his eyes, ducking his head so Ms. Lee can’t see.

“Jeonghan, you asshole.” You hiss as soon as Ms. Lee is out of earshot. “I saw you take it out of your pocket, you lying-“

“If you’re not moving, I’m going to.” Jeonghan replies, moving his bishop forward to capture your queen. “Checkmate. Good game.”

You can only gape as he grabs your hand to shake it and walks off, approaching Joshua.

That was when you really knew you hated him.

•••

You studied his games from then on, partially to learn, partially to gather evidence. If he was cheating this consistently with other players, you could definitely get him kicked out of the club and subsequently your life once competition season started, as well as learn and potentially steal his strategies.

Infuriatingly, though, every single game he played besides the hellish ones with you were completely fair. No pieces being slipped into his thin hands when nobody was looking, no clock taps that discreetly took a few seconds from his opponent’s timer. Even with Josh, who he was best buddies with: not even a joking steal or a prank of any kind.

It was just with you.

Every single game you played together, he managed to do something to piss you off, if not blatantly cheat. If it was one of the days you had spectators, his harassment would come in the form of heavy looks and obnoxious “I’m waiting”-esque moves: tapping his nails on the desk, raising a brow, checking his watch.

And if you were alone, you basically had to glue your pieces down to the board to stop them from slipping their way into his pockets. It was obvious when he did it, too, always sending you a smile, too innocent.

It was infuriatingly adorable how proud he was of his nasty behavior. And he was focused too: none of his other opponents got the thought and effort he put into outwitting you and attempting to steal things without you noticing. As much as you hated him, you had to admire it.

Which is why it was so hard to finally draw a line and refuse to play with him anymore.

Though he shrugged when you put your foot down, his dark eyes watched you the rest of that club session. Every time you caught him, he held your gaze for a moment before looking away and resuming cheerfully animated conversation with his opponent.

God, how was he so easily likeable?

He respected your decision, though, and didn’t even attempt to talk to you. It was genuinely polar and strange, and it made you lost in thought as the months passed.

You almost missed the absence of anger, as stupid as it was. School had always been boring and simple, and chess with Jeonghan was the only thing to have made you frustrated in a long time, to have truly challenged you in a long time.

Even when you buckled down on trying to get him out of your head, he seemed to follow- being friends with Joshua (and honestly most of the other club members) almost always devolved into chats about the club and “why aren’t you playing Jeonghan anymore?”. Josh often suggested playing video games with the two of them, and you had to refuse (although playing League with Josh was so fun).

It was lonely.

Stupid Jeonghan.

•••

Finally, tournament season started.

Following (what was apparently) club tradition, the entire team dyed their hair between practices. You settled with a simple streak of blue that was stolen from Josh (he went completely teal, the madman).

The next day, Jeonghan came to practice with his blond ponytail gone, replaced by a dark brown undercut, hair bluntly chopped to end around his jaw.

Unfortunately, it suited him.

He saved a blond spot for a bit of Josh’s blue, however, and Josh dyed it for him in the middle of the clubroom, laughing the whole time. They’d planned it, clearly, as you were pretty sure Josh didn’t just carry around dye in his backpack.

Which means he knew you two would match when he did your hair.

It was confirmed by an apologetic shrug when you cornered him while he threw away the dye-stained gloves.

“Give him a chance, please y/n?”

“Hong Jisoo. You know how I feel about that dumbass-“

“y/n-“

“Why are you so insistent on having us talk again? He’s a two-faced-“

“y/n, you’d like him. He’s funny, and genuinely nice. I don’t know why he was acting like that with you, but that was almost three months ago. Give him a chance.”

“You should be glad I like you, you stupid fucking rat.”

Josh laughs as you walk away, fuming.

Unfortunately, you did like that stupid fucking rat, and so when he offered dinner after an out-of-state tournament (he pinky swore he’d pay) you finally gave in.

Jeonghan coming?

lol yea

that ok?

not rlly

I’ll give him a chance tho

:D thank u

you owe me

I’m buying ur food :(

josh we r literally getting fast food

you owe me

lol k >:)

[fangirlovestuff]

Cycle - Steve Rogers x reader ch.1

a/n- Hey lovely people! this was a one shot idea that spiralled into a multi-part series, and i am very very excited to post this! i actually identify with steve’s situation more than the reader’s, but we all have imaginations😂 also i suck at summaries but give it a chance! the divider is by the amazing @whimsicalrogers​, thank you so much! Enjoy<3

Summary: You want a relationship but keep getting tangled up in one night stands, while Steve just keeps getting himself friendzoned. When pollar opposites with the same desires meet, will you change each other’s lives? Will you break the cycle?

Word Count: ~2,420

Warnings: bad language, mentions of sex

The music was thumping in Steve's ears, way too loud as always but he learned to manage it. He tried tuning back in to Bucky and Sam's conversation, but his thoughts kept pulling him away. He liked going out with his friends, he really did, it's just that lately, life wasn't exactly working out the way he expected it to. Which is normal, I mean, no one's life is exactly like they imagined, but at this point it was getting ridiculous.

A pretty blonde was coming up to them, and Sam and Bucky elbowed Steve, drawing his attention towards her. His overly-supportive friends were, of course, nagging him to "get some" for a while now, and honestly, it wasn't Steve's fault he didn't. It wasn't for a lack of trying.

It's just that, well, Steve was a really nice guy. That was just who he is – sweet, attentive, caring. And he wanted to love someone, physically but also emotionally. But his character kept getting in his way. You see, he had many opportunities to get a girlfriend or even just a one-night stand, even though he wasn't that kinda guy. Plenty of beautiful women came up to him, he was Captain America for gosh sake. He was told he's also very good looking, but that's a matter of opinions. To himself, he still seemed like that scrawny kid from Brooklyn, just that he obviously didn't look the same. Still, none of Steve's thoughts about himself can change the fact he was a catch.

But every time he'd go on a date, or meet someone at a bar, he somehow said exactly the right things. So right in fact, that the women in front of him ended up confessing their secrets to him, opening up to him, trusting him immediately. One time the girl even started crying, a full-on sob session in the middle of the restaurant they were in. And of course, he'd comfort them, rubbing soothing circles across their backs, nodding in that understanding way of his, listening to them with genuine interest in his eyes, because that's just who he is.

And at the end of the night, when he asked, "can I see you again?" or "can I get your number?" they'd answer: "You're so sweet… but I think we would be better as friends, you know?"

He'd swallow a disappointed groan, smiling politely and saying "sure, that'd be nice."

And that's the story of how Steve Rogers ended up with tons of friends who were girls, but not one girlfriend to spare. Honestly, it was kind of sad that a man who listens gets automatically labeled as a friend who doesn't want to date the girl in front of him.

But it was getting sadder that he wasn't, as his friends so delicately put it, "getting some."

Presently, the blonde came up to them, waving and looking at Steve with interest in her eyes. "I'm Sharon," she introduced herself, "Wanna dance?" she smirked. From the corners of his eyes, he could see his friends glaring daggers at him, as if saying "if you say no, I will kick your ass so hard."

"Sure," he said, getting up. He took Sharon's hand and led their way to the dance floor. They danced for a while, moving against each other to the beat. They didn't talk much, because the music was so loud on the dance floor. After some time, Sharon pointed towards the bar and he nodded, feeling hopeful for the first time in a while.

They ordered their drinks, Steve insisting to pay for hers. From their place at the barstools, the music was still loud but bearable, so they could hear what the other was saying.

"So, what do you do?" Steve asked her.

"Well, I actually work at S.H.I.E.L.D," she smiled a little. "I saw you a couple of times but you seemed busy so I didn't come say hello," she shrugged apologetically.

This, of course, would be the time to say something smooth like "I'm never too busy for such a pretty woman." Except that, well, Steve worried that might be a little objectifying, so instead he opted for: "Well, you can come say hello whenever."

She giggled a little and sipped her drink. "I bet you've got some interesting stories though, right? I mean, bring an Avenger and all must make for some adventures."

"Oh, it does." Steve chuckled. "Do you know about the time when, uh, Loki disguised himself as Fury?"

Sharon sent him a quizzical look, prompting him to continue. "He thought he could access some weapons like that. The funny thing is, he almost did it, but Tony fell asleep while making a waffle and nearly burned the kitchen. When Fury didn't appear the moment the fire alarm went off, we realized something was seriously wrong."

She laughed. "Yeah, I can see how that would be alarming, pun intended," she grinned. "Honestly, Fury's great at his job, but he is a bit of a pain in the ass sometimes. I mean, that one time he told me off when my holster was on the wrong side, but we were in the office! What the hell would I even need a gun for?"

They continued to talk about work, and conversation flowed easily. At one point though, the conversation took a more personal turn.

"You know what…" Sharon said, "being in S.H.I.E.L.D is great, but sometimes I wish I would have taken a different path. I always thought that being an agent was my destiny, but honestly there are a thousand other things I could've done," she sighed. "Like, I don't know, be an architect or… a vet. When you're a kid you have all these dreams and then you just end up taking the practical job."

Steve's eyes filled with understanding. He reached out and put his palm on her arm, rubbing it soothingly. If he would've glanced at his friends, he would see them facepalming violently, aware that Steve's getting himself friendzoned, again, but Steve didn't notice. Instead, he told Sharon, "Hey, you're great at what you do as an agent. But It's never too late to change it up. I mean, I thought I wasn't gonna have a chance to fight in the war and here I am," he chuckled.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," she said, a pensive look on her face. "Thank you, Steve. For the drinks and everything." She smiled and got up, taking her bag with her.

"Wait," Steve said, "can I get your number?"

"Oh," Sharon's brows furrowed for a second before she fixed her expression. "I just figured we'd see each other at work or something, you know, now that we're friends and all."

"Yeah, sure, you're right," Steve said, disappointment settling in his stomach. "See you around, Sharon."

She smiled and kissed his cheek. "Bye Steve," she said before getting up and walking away, exiting the club while Steve ordered another shot and got back to his friends' table, who took one look at his face and guessed what happened, thus were cackling and giggling like crazy.

He sat down, downing his drink and grumbling, "I miss Asgardian mead." Which only sent Sam and Bucky into another laughing fit.

Later that night Steve plopped down on his bed. He tried to sleep, but his thoughts were keeping him awake. What was he doing wrong? What was it about him that pushed women away? But should he change in order to get someone to like him?

He tossed and turned like that for a while, not finding a good answer to any of his questions. But when finally, after a couple of hours he managed to drift off, he closed his eyes with a resolution in mind.

I'm gonna break this cycle.

You looked around the small café, searching for… Josh. Yeah, that was his name, you were sure of it. Pretty sure anyway.

You sighed in frustration and checked your phone once more. Sure enough, he texted you he'll be this address in five minutes. It was definitely this address.

But it's been nearly an hour and he wasn't here, not texting anything else either. The waitress was giving you weird looks, so you had ordered your own coffee in the meantime.

You met Josh two nights prior, when you were out with your friends. You felt numerous eyes on you as you and your friends were dancing, the alcohol sending a pleasant buzz through your body. Josh was the only one who caught your eye, so when he came by offering to dance with you, you said yes.

Now, this is probably the place to mention you weren't having a lot of luck with guys lately. You liked to divide the guys you met into four catagories, so; pretty much every guy you met has either:

a)      Used you for sex

b)      Blew you off

c)      Gave you a wrong number, probably on purpose, or

d)      "was looking for something casual and it seemed like you were too"

So, your dating life was a little shitty to say the least. You knew that you were hot, or at least that guys considered you to be even though you didn't most of the time. But it's not like you were looking for "something casual." Quite the opposite actually, you were more than ready to date, have a serious relationship like most of your friends did.

But apparently, guys didn't really get that memo. Some days you wondered if you were a douche magnet, or was it maybe tattooed on your forehead that "I am a slut! Fuckboys, assemble!"

It wasn't that, but you couldn't say it didn't sting a little every time you were sent straight to voicemail, or every morning you woke up and found that he snuck out.

To be fair, you enjoyed some of it. The clubbing, the energy you feel when you cross eyes with someone across the room, the occasionally good sex. But for a long time now, it wasn't what you really wanted. You wanted to be sent flowers, not "u up;)" messages.

It wasn't like you didn't have other hobbies as well, and a job you were great at. So great in fact, you were offered to work with the Avengers, starting next week, because the position was open and they knew you were that good. You were a well-rounded person for fuck's sake, not a one-night-fantasy.

But the night you met Josh you really thought he could be different. You both talked, danced, had a lot of fun. And then, you know, went to his place, and argued about if he should put on a condom, which you won because he was way too drunk and horny to argue that stupid opinion, then fucked. At that point you realized no matter how much fun you had; he was a jerk for thinking he shouldn't put on a condom when you asked him to. So, you waited for him to fall asleep and then quietly gathered your belongings and left his apartment, thinking you'd never hear from him again.

The next day your fingered hovered above the "delete contact" on your phone. When you exchanged numbers last night you saved him as "cute guy<3" and you kinda hated your drunk self for that, but what's done is done. You were just about to delete his number when he shot you a message apologizing for last night, saying he didn't mean it, and asking you if you were free tomorrow to meet him at this small café which was "totally great".

So, wanting to give him another chance, you accepted.

Which brings us here, to said little café you were currently sitting in, waiting for the guy you were pretty sure was named Josh and questioning all of your life choices.

You finished your coffee, which had already gotten to be at room temperature and it wasn't even that good in the first place, so it was bad. But hey, you already paid for it, so you downed the rest of it and left the café, wandering into the warm, humid street.

Once you were back home from the commute, which was a terrible experience due to the humidity, you quickly shed your clothes, taking a nice cold shower to wash off the sticky sweat from your skin. You dried off, putting on a pair of shorts and a tank top before checking your phone, just to be sure, and—

Yep, still no message from Josh. You resisted the sudden urge to throw your phone across the room, taking a deep breath before shooting him one last text – "sayonara, dipshit" – before finally deleting his number from your phone, like you should've done yesterday.

You put your phone away for the rest of the day, going on your computer to do some chores – reply to your emails, settle some stuff before your start at the Avengers compound, closing things in your old workplace.

When evening arrived, you opened your phone to messages from your friends asking how your date with Jason, and it took you a minute to realize who they're talking about. You chuckled bitterly before telling them he stood you up.

They were very sympathetic, telling you you're going to find the right guy and that Jason wasn't worth it anyway. You agreed with the latter sentiment, but you weren't sure how much you agreed with the first one.

You had dinner on your own, scrolling through social media and mindlessly pecking your food. You spent the rest of your evening thinking about… life.

The thing is, you were tired. Tired of being treated like you're only good for sex, tired of pretentious assholes apparently named Jason who play you just so they can feed their own ego by having the last word, but most of all – tired of being alone.

You were ready for a change. You needed a change. You spent the rest of your evening planning it all in your head, resolving to stop giving into guys because they're fun or cute. You're not actually looking for cute fun, and it's time to start acting like it.

When you're on your own, this all seems like a given to you; that you're a strong woman, that you want romance. But somehow when you're actually around guys you forget all about it and become impulsive. Living in the moment is great, but so is having a future.

Well, your future starts tomorrow, because before you went to sleep you made up your mind –

Tomorrow, I break the cycle.

Hope you liked it! this was a bit more of an introduction, but i still really liked writing it :) i don’t know exactly when the next one’ll be out cause school and stuff but i promise to do my best... if you have any ideas/requests please feel free to tell me about them!

thank you again @whimsicalrogers​ for the magical divider <3

next chapter teaser: “It's a new week, and you're getting a new start.” 

Chris Taglist: @swatson06 @horny-nd-bored​ @shannon124 @perfectlyharolds​ @phoebe-21-99 @wintersoldierslut​ @iceebabies​ @wanessalopesueiros @sleepingpapermouse @steverogerswasalwaysworthy @holtzkinnon @angelicl-y @stydia-4-ever @thatoneperson5000 @fangirlfree​ @kaitcordx25 @bequeening​ @steve-barry-damon-logan​ @itscrazycherryblossomcollection​ @hollandxmarvel​ @darkwitchfromthesouth @stargazingfangirl18 @readsreblogsfics @onetwo3000 @beritmetal

if you wanna join / be removed from the taglist, comment/message me! this is a taglist for Chris and his characters. much love <3

[carewyncromwell]

“A waltz when she walks in the room, She pulls back the hair from her face. She turns to the window to sway in the moonlight... Even her shadow has grace. A waltz for the girl out of reach, She lifts her hands up to the sky. She moves with the music; The song is her lover; The melody's making her cry... So she dances, in and out of the crowd, like a glance... This romance is from afar, calling me silently...”

~“So She Dances,” by Josh Groban

x~x~x~x

And to cap off my set of Valentine’s Day posts where I feature my MC’s and someone they care about...last but not least is my HPHL kelpie kid Ru! In the above picture, they’re pictured with Galen Stagg, who belongs to @cursebreakerfarrier, but this picture, this post, and this basic AF pencil test animation are actually about Ru’s relationship with their “keeper” and ttly-not-girlfriend Estrid Soelberg @that-ravenpuff-witch! (I wanted to overlay the two images, but the online sources I tried using to do so weren’t cooperating, so...eh. Here they are separately. XD)

When the kelpie who’d taken on the identity of the Ravenclaw student Rudolph Ollivander first encountered Estrid Soelberg, they did not like her. How could they, when it was because of her that they now wore a silver chain around their neck that she could use like a “leash” and keep them from transforming back into their true form and eating anything or anyone she disapproved of? Naturally Estrid didn’t care for Ru much either -- and really, considering that they nearly ate a first year, that also was pretty understandable. Over time, though, Estrid’s stance softened somewhat, upon realizing that there was an oddly sympathetic side to the carnivorous kelpie.

For one, Ru absolutely loved being at Hogwarts. It wasn’t obvious at first, given how laid-back and aloof they were, but their electric blue eyes were always bright and aware, never missing out on a single detail. Ru would spend hours and hours every day in the Hogwarts library, devouring every book they could. They would explore every corner of the castle grounds and memorize every shred of knowledge that came under their nose. They collected knick knacks and jewelry from Hogsmeade, even going so far as to pierce their ears in their third year, to the horror of all of the adults, both inside and outside of school. And this didn’t even touch on Ru’s great passion for history, magical creatures, Herbology, art, and especially photography. Their still Muggle photographs were always crystal clear and striking, from a view of the Black Lake taken from the Owlery to close-ups on the details of the winged boar statues near the front gates. Ru’s Muggle-style photography came alive in a way that magical photography -- which was still in its infancy and quite low in quality -- couldn’t capture. On the Christmas break of their third year, Ru also discovered and became very enamored with Muggle animation, which made crude drawings come to life -- Estrid, despite her best efforts, couldn’t bite back her laughter upon finding out that Ru had requested the permission of one of the snobbier girls in their year to use her as a model for an animation, only for the finished product to end up being of the girl picking her nose with her pinky finger.

As Estrid got to know Ru better, she decided to try showing them more compassion. For as inhuman as Ru was, and how eccentric, cold, and rude as they could be, their enrollment at Hogwarts truly didn’t seem to be motivated by anything malevolent -- it had truly just been the only way they saw for them to attend this school they’d been watching from afar and longed to see up close. And Estrid treating Ru with more respect and kindness, little by little, wore down Ru’s walls enough that they didn’t dislike her quite so much either. She not only was insightful enough to suss out that they didn’t like eating around other people and showed them the Hogwarts kitchens so that they’d have a place where they could eat in peace, but she didn’t see the need to fill the silence with worthless conversation the way so many of their classmates did. She could sometimes just let a moment be, let the emotions and time just rest for a while. With that, though, Estrid was actually a rather interesting person too, in her own way. She had her fair share of admirers for her appearance (which Ru acknowledged was decent enough, by human sensibilities), but she seemed actively disinterested and uncomfortable about it, instead being the type who was unafraid of being on her own. And yet despite this, Estrid truly wasn’t a loner like Ru was -- she had a gentle hand with creatures of all kinds, an artistic eye, and a soft smile that she rarely showed to much of anyone, but was always sincere. Most striking of all to Ru, though, was the way she moved when she danced. The way her limbs bent and stretched with such grace fascinated Ru. They wished they could slow down time sometimes, just to analyze every tiny little flick of her fingers or flourish of her ankle. Knowing that they couldn’t take enough pictures to capture the grace of her movements, and not yet having a camera that could take moving pictures, Ru settled on trying to animate Estrid. Most of the animations were very crude in the beginning, consisting of nothing but stick figures, but little by little, Ru studied the proportions of the human body (very different than that of a kelpie!) and tried to refine their technique. And before long, all of their animations ended up being modeled on Estrid some way or another -- the vast majority of them being her dancing ballet.

Another person who’d be in the room sometimes when Estrid was dancing was their yearmate Galen Stagg, who often practiced the piano while Estrid was dancing. Ru found the Gryffindor inoffensive for the most part -- like Ru and Estrid, he had a talent for Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures (Ru could sense that Galen in particular had a magical gift for communicating with creatures, even more than Ru themselves did, considering they were actually a kelpie), so sometimes the three of them would end up in the library studying at the same table before a test. Galen was a bit of pansy to Ru’s taste, given his dislike for conflict or confrontation, but he like Estrid was soft-spoken enough that he never gave Ru any real headaches.

One day while Estrid was dancing and Ru sat off on the sidelines (sitting with their legs crumpled up in such a manner that one could wonder if they’d ever learned how to cross their legs properly), Galen took a break from playing to come over and sit down next to the messily-dressed Ravenclaw on the floor. Although he himself really enjoyed drawing too, he’d always felt like Ru tolerated him more than liked him and so had been hesitant to ask Ru if he could see any of their artwork. This day, though, he finally mustered up the courage to ask.

“...May...may I see what you’re working on?”

Ru lowered the page they’d lifted to fine-tune and shot a look out the side of their eye at him.

“...It’s not finished,” they said bluntly.

“That’s all right!” said Galen self-consciously. “That is...I don’t mind, if it’s still sketchy.”

Ru considered him for a moment silently. Just when Galen opened his mouth, ready to say that Ru didn’t have to if they didn’t want to, the kelpie held their sketchbook out in one hand for Galen to take.

With a surprised, but relieved blink, Galen took it and looked at the top page. It was still only a cluster of loosely connected circles and ovals, but Galen could just barely make out what it was.

“It’s Estrid,” he realized, his jade-colored eyes lighting up. “Isn’t it?”

Ru nodded curtly, their gaze drifting off to watch Estrid at the barre.

“That’s just the last frame,” they said in a very low, nonchalant voice.

“Frame?”

“Of animation. Pick up the next eight pages and flip them one by one.”

Galen did so -- and to his delight, he watched as the little cluster of ovals and circles unfolded its arms and spread them in a graceful arc that flourished at the wrists.

“Wow, Ru,” said Galen, impressed, “it looks just like Estrid! I mean, the movement looks just like hers. You really captured the grace of her arms.”

Ru’s electric blue eyes swiveled absently in Galen’s direction, but they didn’t turn around or meet his eyes. Instead their gaze returned to Estrid as they brought up a hand and smoothed some of their long black hair behind their ear.

“...You reckon?” they asked, their quiet voice oddly contemplative.

Galen looked at Ru, surprised. Were they...blushing?

Feeling a wave of compassion for the Ravenclaw all of a sudden, Galen offered them a smile.

“...Yeah. It’s really nice, Ru. I’m sure it’ll be smashing when it’s done.”

Ru’s eyes stayed on Estrid, narrowing slightly.

“The way she moves...” they said lowly, “I’ve never seen anyone else move like that. Even other dancers. It...seems like something that shouldn’t just disappear into the void, when the moment is over...like everything does, sooner or later. I’ve tried to photograph her before, but it doesn’t capture the movement. Even when I take a lot of still pictures one right after another, or when I actively try to get shots that blur, it doesn’t work. And magical photographs...hmph! They’re an absolute joke. They deteriorate so easily, and their quality is atrocious.”

Galen smiled sympathetically. “Well, wizards really have only had them for a short while...I reckon they might need a little time to catch up, right?”

Ru scoffed loudly through their nose and mouth, sounding rather like an offended horse. “It’s pathetic.”

They rested their hands behind them on the floor, leaning back slightly.

“So...the only way I could try to capture the way she moves -- to make it last, past that moment, was to draw it. It’s not exactly easy to get her hands right, though,” they added sourly under their breath.

“Hands are every artist’s Achilles’s heel, I think,” said Galen with a quiet laugh.

His green eyes softened. “...You really care about Estrid a lot, don’t you?”

Ru’s face flushed a bit more darkly as they whirled on him with a glare.

“Don’t read too much into it, Stagg. I find her movements interesting. That’s all.”

Despite Ru’s denials, however, Galen thought to himself that Estrid was pretty lucky, to have someone in her life who’d put in so much effort to try to memorialize her in a lasting way. He wondered if Ru even realized just how sweet and selfless of an instinct that really was.

[fourteenacross]

Hello, void, I’m back for more screaming. idk, following along the concept from this, which is in and of itself a follow-up to this.

*

When Sam gets back from his last lunch meeting before the holiday recess, Josh is on his way into the office. Seeing Josh around isn't strange--he pops in on occasion to see Donna. What is strange is that  Josh's arms are loaded down with folders and a tablet--he's clearly here for work, despite the fact the place has already mostly shut down for the holidays. His staff is largely gone and there's one senior staff meeting standing between Sam and nearly a month in New York with Will and his family.

"Hey, Josh!" he says. "Donna has a meeting--I'm late to that meeting, actually--but she should be out in twenty minutes or so."

"I'm here for the meeting," Josh says, just as Will pokes his head out into the reception area.

"Oh good, you're here," he says to Josh. Which is...incredibly out of character.

"Oh good Josh is here?" Sam asks, raising his eyebrows.

"You too, I guess," Will says. At Sam's incredulous look, Will absently busses him on the cheek.

"I don't understand." Sam turns back to Josh. "Did Evelyn send you to try and get me on board for the thing?"

"No," Josh says. "I don't work for the DNC anymore. I resigned two weeks ago."

"Wait, why didn't you--"

"You're both late for our meeting," Will says. He tugs Sam's sleeve. "Come on. Cathy, hold the calls?"

"Already on it," Cathy says from behind her desk. "Good luck!"

"Thanks," Will says, and ushers him into the conference room.

Sam's a little hurt that Josh hasn't mentioned quitting his job and a little perplexed that Donna hasn't mentioned it either. When Josh was briefly between jobs after President Santos' first and only term ended, she made sure to remind him and Will both, frequently, that she was the sole breadwinner for her household now, and she really needed a raise. Even more peculiar is Josh showing up here of all places, to meet with Will of all people. Sam gave up on the idea of Josh and Will getting along a long time ago, and while they're generally civil to each other at this point, they're certainly not actively spending time together.

Still, he follows Josh into the conference room. Seated at the table are Donna, Lauren, and Winnifred, all with notes and laptops spread in front of them. Will sits next to Donna, the two of them at the head of the table, and, to Sam's great surprise, Josh sits next to Will and slides him the tablet he was carrying.

"Have a seat," Will says, and Sam sits down hard.

"Okay, someone has to tell me what's going on because you're all freaking me out, now," Sam says. "Is this an intervention? Is this because I said I should take a meeting with Kavan Chowdhury while we're up visiting your parents? Because that was a joke, I'm not going to work over the break, I swear."

"No, it's not an intervention," Will says. A beat, then, "Though I know you weren't joking about that even if you think you were, but we can argue about that later."

"This is the first strategy meeting for your next campaign," Josh says before Sam can continue down that line of conversation.

And that...maybe makes more sense. Sam is genuinely shocked that Will would hire Josh to work on his campaign given their history and honestly almost more shocked that Josh would take such a breeze of a job. Also, it's way too early.

"That election’s still four years away, and not to tempt the wrath of the whatever, but do you really think it's going to be a big enough fight that we need to start planning already?" Sam asks. His first re-election campaign was nothing, and if anything, he's more popular now than he was in his first term.

"Yes," Will says. "Because it is four years away, but it's not going to be a cakewalk. It's going to be the hardest fight of your life and I'm determined we're going to win it."

"I really don't know--" Sam starts to say.

"Just show him the thing," Josh says to Will and Will rolls his eyes, but he turns on the tablet and then flips it over so that Sam can see the screen.

Seaborn for America it says, in stylized red, white, and blue.

Sam can hardly move.

"You're ready for this," Will says gently, switching out of his work voice and into the quieter one he uses in the moments just between the two of them. "You're ready for this and I think the world is going to be ready for it by 2018. I think we can do this."

"Will...." Sam starts to say, but he doesn't even know where to begin.

"It was always heading here, Sam," Josh says. "You know that. We've been talking about this since we were kids on the Hill."

Which isn't untrue--they have been talking about Sam's political career since the summer they first met. But most of those conversations unceremoniously died when Sam came out. Sam always assumed that Josh had transferred those dreams to Matt Santos.

"I don't...I can't...." Sam stutters, still staring at the tablet.

"You can," Will says. There's a fire in his eyes that Sam hasn't seen since he first decided to run for the Senate nine years ago. A bone-deep desire to make this happen. An unwavering determination that once got a dead liberal elected in the California 47th.

"We've started drawing up some preliminary plans," Donna says. "We're starting off in a good place--people are still talking about your speech at the convention over the summer. The younger demographics appreciate that you're active on social media and, well, to be frank, that you're kind of a nerd. Older voters still associate you with Bartlet, and that gives them confidence in your leadership skills."

"Did you...do polling?" Sam asks.

"Well, yeah, I'm your Media Director, of course I did polling," Donna says.

"How long have you guys been planning this?" Sam asks.

"We found out the week after the election," Winnifred says, and Lauren nods. Sam turns to Josh.

"Well, Will called me up after Evanson tanked the first debate and it started to become clear we were in for round two of the Sullivan presidency," Josh says.

"He told me when I started as Press Secretary back in 2006," Donna says.

Sam looks to Will, then, who's radiating pride and just a little of the Bailey smugness that drives Sam crazy.

"Since the moment you told me to give Kay Wilde your name," Will says, and Sam isn't sure if he wants to smack him or kiss him, but he'd settle for the latter, for certain.

He looks between the five of them, all of them so sure that this is what's next, so confident in him as a candidate, as a leader.

"Could everyone who's not married to me step outside for a minute?" he asks. He's trying to keep his voice even, but it goes a little high at the end.

"If you're gonna make out or shout at each other, can't we just turn around until you're done?" Winnifred asks.

"Come on," Donna says, nudging her to stand up. "They just need a minute to psych each other up. And then, yeah, probably be gross and romantic at each other.”

"Just, two seconds," Sam says to them, though his eyes don't leave Will. "Don't go anywhere."

The rest file out, and then it's just Will, sitting at the head of the conference table holding an iPad that's long since gone to sleep.

"Hi," Will says, when it's clear Sam's not going to say something first.

"Hi," Sam says. He gets to his feet, dazed, and walks over to Will.

"I know I've said it before, but the waistcoat is a good look for you," Will says.

Sam covers his face with his hands. "Will," he says.

Will stands too and goes just far enough to lean against the table, crossing his arms loosely against his chest.

"Very distinguished," Will continues.

"Will," Sam says again, and this time Will stays quiet. Sam drops his hands and stares at Will for a moment. "Since that first night?" he finally asks, soft, like he's afraid if he says it too loudly it will dissipate into the air and fade away.

Will nods. No cute remark, no explanation, no smug rejoinder. He just nods. Sam has both never loved him more and never been more terrified.

Something of it must show on his face, because Will's resolved expression softens and he says, "Hey, hey, come here," and reaches out to pull Sam into an embrace. "You have to know I love you too much to have started this if I didn't think you could win it." He presses his nose into Sam's hair. "I would never do that to you."

The problem is that Will thinks Sam can do anything. Will's unwavering belief in him as a person is sometimes so overwhelming that he's paralyzed by the expectations.

"I don't know if I can do this," Sam says into Will's neck.

"You can," Will promises. "And even if you don't believe it yourself, you've got me and Josh and the staff to believe it for you until it sinks in."

Sam closes his eyes and thinks about a quiet night more than a decade ago when President Bartlet challenged him to a game of chess.

Sam, you're gonna run for President one day, he'd said, and the shock of hearing his private dream spoken aloud by one of the people he respected most in the world had stunned him into silence. President Bartlet thought he could do it. He believed in Sam, which meant more than he could ever articulate. It's a memory he's held close, one he's never shared with anyone, not even Will, in part because was certain that his relationship with Will would put an end to those aspirations. In 2002, the idea of an out queer man running for President, let alone winning, seemed like an absurd fantasy.

In 2014, he's startled to realize it might actually be within his grasp.

Sam reluctantly pulls back from Will, just far enough that he can look him in the eye.

"You really think we can do this," he says. It's not a question--Will has made that much clear.

"I'm certain of it," Will says, that steely resolve back in his voice.

Sam loves him so much.

"Okay," he says. "Then I guess we should get the rest of the staff back in here so we can start."

Will's grin could light up the Beltway.

"Yes, sir," he says, and kisses Sam firmly before pulling back and moving for the door. Sam moves with him, an arm tucked around his waist.

"You really called Josh to help?" he asks, just to hear Will's beleaguered sigh.

"I wouldn't use the word 'help,'" Will says. He pulls open the door to the conference room, where the rest of the senior staff and Josh are milling around a little too casually to not have been listening at the door the entire time. "Come on in, everyone, I've bullied him into it."

"I was just telling Will how nice it is that he could ask for your help, Josh," Sam says. "Look at the two of you, working together."

"I don't need help!" Will insists.

"It's very sweet," Sam says. "Don't you think it's sweet, Donna?"

"So sweet," Donna says.

"Spending the next four years working together," Sam says, just to see Will make a face like the milk in his coffee's gone off. "It'll bring you closer together."

"And eight more years after that, knock on wood!" Donna adds, and Sam has to imagine that it's entirely to see Josh roll his eyes so hard it's a wonder he hasn't hurt himself.

"Listen," Josh says as he brushes past Sam and Will and back into the conference room. "I only answered this call because I want Sam to win this and I don't trust the guy who ran Bingo Bob Russell's campaign into the ground to pull it off."

"I ran Bob Russell's campaign into the ground?" Will says, stalking off after Josh. "I think it was more like you manipulating the convention from hell--"

"Excuse me, I did no such thing!"

"It's gonna be a fun four years, huh?" he hears Lauren say to Winnifred behind him.

"I think you mean it's gonna be a fun twelve years," Winnifred replies.

And while Sam is still a little terrified of tempting the wrath of the whatever and even more terrified that he might not be up to the job, he can't help but sincerely think that it will be fun.

"You're an idiot!" Josh snaps.

"I can fire you!" Will snaps back.

Well, a little fun, at least.