#as my one example of encouragement
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#I donāt want to be alone tonight but I even more donāt want to bother someone#I keep thinking about the psychologist Iām seeing- I put on a mask for every psychologist psychiatrist whoever I meet and they all fall for#it except her. I just donāt want her to find out how much Iām suppressing because then sheāll probably say that I should see a therapist and#that is the last thing I want. Iām only fine with seeing her because we mostly focus on sleep and relaxation techniques#but today she had me try to find something encouraging to tell myself when Iām in a pain flare and I just was blank#the only thing I could think of is āit wonāt last foreverā which may be true but I donāt think itās particularly encouraging?#I donāt know what encouragement during a pain flare would look like! I donāt know what counts!#and she tried to help me but I just couldnāt think of anything and I know Iām not going to get a bad grade in therapy but itās almost worse#that I told her that I donāt know what encouragement is supposed to look like and had to use a vague memory of a teacher from middle school#as my one example of encouragement#it doesnāt help that Iām having a flare up now#great day. bad brain
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as āso bland he's tempted to throw salt on himselfā and āall he could do is lay around and wait for deathā (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on āShen Yuan isnāt lazyā is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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'Write something of a sequel' won the poll, so people can drop the names of fics they'd like to see that 'something of a sequel' for the next poll.
(Apologies to all the folks who just want me to update my WIPs instead of writing something else.)
#ladylynse#I've cut back on the fandom events I participate in but the crossover event got me#but for the most part I'm *trying* to stick to my actual WIPs#Unbound is so close to being done#sad part is that will need a sequel too but I wanna finish Revision first#to all the people patiently waiting for Down the Rabbit Hole I have not forgotten or abandoned that fic#btw that 'something of a sequel' might be a first chapter or a scene somewhere farther into the story or ???#I'll figure that out when I know which fic it is#what I'd do for Perplexities is different than what I'd do for The Trouble with Ghosts for instance#(those are my examples because those are the ones I've been asked about most recently)#(I guess excluding that Narnia/ROTG crossover series because I got a comment on that yesterday that was definitely encouraging more of that
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What do your boys smell like?
I talked about this a bit on this earlier post and I don't think I have anything significant to add to it at this time. But I could tell you which perfumes they might wear in modern times? (Scents are hard to describe but I included some of their main notes to give you a vaguest idea of what they're like).
Vasco
Ćtat libre d'Orange - Tom of Finland (iris, leather, tonka bean) Dior - Homme Parfum (leather, iris, rose) Tom Ford - Tuscan leather (leather, woody, amber)
Machete
Heeley - Cardinal (linen, myrrh, frankincense) Ćtat libre d'Orange - Rien Intense Incense (frankincense, amber) Lalique - Encre Noire (cypress, vetiver)
#I'm kind of sensitive to strong smells but also one of those people that are constantly sniffing everything (?)#so navigating perfumery is kind of hazardous a lot of them give me a headache or make me feel sort of ill and dizzy#but I think these are nice I own/have owned all of these except Tuscan Leather#which is so sophisticated and rich and leathery but awfully overpriced and I don't think I can ever afford a full bottle#answered#anonymous#modern au#a lot of overlapping ingredients because big surprise leather and frankincense are my favorites#I usually wear perfumes at home only because smelling strongly is kind of a faux pas in Finnish culture#a lot of schools and workplaces for example are expected or at least strongly encouraged to be as scent free as possible#which is smart I approve that#but it does limit your opportunities to find uses for these things
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radfem help !!
2 of my little cousins (14yrs and 15yrs) are both girls dating boys right now, and together we are coming up with a "dealbreaker list" of things they will never put up with from their bfs! and also we are including positives, like so they aren't just looking for the absence of bad things, but actual positive things
what do yall think are the most important things to add? (i put extra info in tags)
Thank you so much!!!
#I dont want it just to be āhe doesn't hit meā as that's super important but they could end up with awful boys who don't hit them and still#mistreat them. there are certain vulnerabilities that make me worry the most for them. Ive been writing under the deal breakers like exampl#of how it would manifest like things they might say or how they might behave so that way in the moment there will hopefully not be as much#time spent questioning if it counts as a deal breaker. we want to do positives too so like I said in the post it's not just like "he doesn'#put me downā but also āhe roots for me and encourages me and verbalizes itā.#they are 14/15 so I'm less focused on stuff related to like splitting domestic labor for example but I think a good translation could#be like āhe spends as much time as I do planning datesā and āit's clear to me that he put a lot of thought into my birthday giftā or the li#anyway I know they are safer without dating boys (and for the record they both know I do not date men (and only one knows I am SSA) but#they ARE dating and it's much more practical and realistic to reduce harm here since they are doing it!#also this is obviously not the extent of my effort in making sure they are safe and well and not reliant on boys/men;#this list is just one small part!!!#thanks so so much! and if you don't know please share bc maybe someone else has advice! ty!!!#radfem#radical feminist safe#radblr#sex based oppression#mvawg#question tag
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i cannot reblog cringe my friends will see and itll be embarassing (thinks about how if my friends were scared of being cringe around me id get sad) GRRRRRRAAAAAAAHGGGG
#this is just one specific example. in many many kinds of situations being earnest and openly passionate about stuff is so difficult#i gotta be a good example (eldest sib instincts) grips bathroom counter stares at self in mirror#like 80 percent of my motive to push through terror and be cringe and free is because i hope it encourages those around me to do the same#we must abolish ''i gotta be normal''. enough repression. get weirder and EXPRESS it. get it out of ur systemmmmm#''i gotta be normal'' killed the esteemed Doctor Henry Jekyll. im serious#ok bye#lightposts
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i want to ramble and overanalyse the movers' parents / family + their relationship with each other and with their sons + where the movers got their traits from etc
#i keep saying this but i never do hahahahh#mostly because it will be like. connecting dots that sort of make sense and not lol#like. rich for example. idk he seems to have been raised by parents with high standards (?). as in#rich's dad is a coach and thus would train his son to be his best (like push and challenge rich in a way that is healthy and doable)#and rich's mom i imagine someone who's both refined and adventurous (?) ok i have no idea what i'm saying but#i think she's the one that encourages rich's artistic side. from her picture i get the vibes of someone who is an art connoiseur#and just someone who appreciates like thought provoking works and sophistication#no idea where im going with this#actually i do but it's just like i said random thoughts that come to my mind and connecting them lol#moversposting
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why the fuck did they make the dads gay what was the point of that heathers the musical makes no fucking sense
#literally adds nothing to the plot. its stupid. and just feels like pandering#and them coming out as gay and being accepted by the town just just takes away from the themes the original movie presented#about a cruel unempathetic world esp to outsiders#INFACT THE I LOVE MYDEAD GAY SON SCENE IN THE MOVIE IS SUCH A MASTERFUL EXAMPLE OF CHALLENGING THE AUDIENCE AS WELL AS THE PROTAGONIST#the father says āi love my dad gay sonā#and jd whispers to veronica āi wonder if they would love a son with a limp wrist and a pulseā#and she snickers at it and therefore encouraging the audience to do so along with her#but then we see the younger sister of one of them look back at veronica with sad eyes#CONFRONTING NOT ONLY VERONICA FOR WHAT SHES DONE KILLING & LAUGHING AT THEM#BUT ALSO THE AUDIENCE FOR FINDING AMUSEMENT AND MAKING FUN OF SUCH A SITUATION#and the musical just REMOVES THAT COMPLETELY and goes Yeah The Dads Are Gay Now :3 Laugh.#fuck off fuck off#wiki rambles#heathers
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genuinely love how much my partner has impacted my art. i doubt anyone else can directly see it & often times i donāt notice it at first, but i genuinely love it so so much
#mnt talks#i love you. you are imbedded into my creations#sorry for gay posting on my art account it will happen again#i only made this blog bc of their encouragement. the first post was of us#sadly i deleted it but. yk#fun fact whyenn was pretty much named by them#and a lot of the positive parts of whyenn and actorās relationship have lots of parallels to ours#and i may or may not have. a lot of actor headcanons that iāve recently realized. are traits of my partner#which is just silly#thereās other examples but those are just the only ones anyone would maybe be able to pick up themselves#bc most of the other examples are things i havenāt posted since all iāve really posted is. markcu stuff
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does everything suck or is it just me being over dramatic
#The sk trauma deniers (myself are fighting a hard battle (against myself also)#Me when life altering events alter my life: š°#Vague venting because everything sucks and my shoulder blades feel weird and I miss him#And I miss the way life used to be and I miss being happy and I miss being safe#And I miss a lot of things and I hate a lot of things and I miss a lot of things that I hate#Struggling and I feel like thereās a lot of things Iām feeling that I donāt acknowledge out of the subconscious#(Example: very upsetting part of my dream in which I saw my ex. Clear as day. It was so awful I wanted to cry)#Everything sucks im going to sleep and maybe feel better in the morning for a little and then collapse into tears again#Killing myself party is back on actually. I miss the person I was I miss my sister I miss my family#Everything is different now and I wish what happened never happened even if I refuse to acknowledge it happened sometimes#I just miss. A lot. I wish I could just shut off all of this#Vent#Iām fine just tired and feel like everything is crashing ā¦..and Iāve been thinking about one thing my dad said#āNot to encourage your little relationshipā ?????? I have never felt more like shit#I know I havenāt given a reason for my parents to like the people Iāve dated but the one time I date a guy who is genuinely so kind#And theyāve been hearing about him for over a year and theyāve even met him they still donāt want to trust me#Itās utterly awful that I feel like Iām improving for him rather than for my family#I should want to improve for both. But itās so demotivating. I do it for him#Ughā¦.vent over I hate this shit
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Characters who had extremely high expectations placed in them from a young age to the point where nothing they did was ever good enough and they eventually decide it's not worth even trying to be good enough, and kind of just give up on living up to ANYONE'S expectations
Also. Idk if this is a trope but a character that had no expectations placed in them at all, to the point they were never actually encouraged or motivated to do anything with their lives and felt no support for anything they may have wanted to do
I am a very odd, confused combination of the two...
#that second one is uh. thats just me. thats my actual life.#the only thing anyone really encouraged in me was creativity#well i guess my dad did try to push me to do things but he did it in that way like the first example. where it made me want to just give up#my dad has a way of harshing vibes and sucking the joy out of literally anything you have interest in#i once told him i wanted to build an outdoor pond for my pet turtle and he started teaching me algebra about it. i was like 9.#been rewatching psych with my mom and his dad is basically what the fuck my dad did to me. when he was even around. yayyyyyy daddy issues
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i love characters with barely elaborated on personalities and traits and all that. dust sans??? absolute perfection i can do whatever the fuck i want with him. headcanon anything i want as long as it fits the framework that askdusttale has given me. nightmare??? his one main trait is that he's bad do you know how amazingly vague that is. i have even MORE freedom with him than anyone else. there are various different types of bad guy and i can make nightmare all of them and none simultaneously because he's simply not all that elaborated on. once i lose that creative freedom i lose all will to do anything with characters
#FREE ME!!! FREE ME FROM THE CAGE THAT IS CANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i LOVE fanon i LOVE being ooc I LOVE doing things that go against canon material#I HAVE FREEDOME!!! THESE ARE JUST FICTIONAL CHARACTERS I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT WITH THEM!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!#creative freedom is one trait i enjoy the most in this fandom and i think it is something that we need not to restrict but to encourage#yeaahhh OKAYsure. sure there might be a ton of little details in say like horror's lore that you can nitpick and expand on#but then you have to worry about it going against the other canon facts ans then ghsaakassaahhhfkksodks youre RESTRICTED BY CANON#canon i love canon but it is just going to choke me out stab me and then make me eat dirt and my own shit in the end#let me be free let me live in fanon elysian utopian paradise#i CHOOSE to believe in canon i CHOOSE to make these characters canon#but just know. it is a threat when i say that the mtt are very fun fanonized. fanon murder time trio is so fun#as long as jokes dont get overplayed and theres a variety of interactions fanon isSO FUN!!!#kist love hate relationship!!! FUCM YEAH!!! even though i think dust and killer would avoid eachother its more fun this way#just make sure to let horror get mad at dust and killer and let killer get mad at dust in a while and we've got VARIETY!!!#fluffy domestic soft horrordust??? FUCK YWAH!!!! just acknowledge canon horrordust would be stepping on cracked eggshells!!!#i think we need absolute creative freedom again no more restriction. man where are the silly fun dumb aus like empireverse.#even cringe shit like naj or pjs daycare except they arent made by a total loser and are actually good#PLEASE i just need more silly aus that aren't fully canon adjacent or continuing or compliant or a what if.............. maybe like jk fashi#no no. no shameless promo here. anyways i miss creativity please make it a trend to throw the sans aus into more than just canon storylines#guys WHERE is the child au. where are the elementary school sans aus. that would be fun#WHERE are the superhero aus. WHERE ARE THEY.#idolverse or whatever is a beautiful example of non canon aus and stuff i love idolverse. also magical girl au#i forgot who made those 2 aus but just know you are blessed and loved by triglycercule#it's a MULTIVERSE there are MULTIPLE UNIVERSES. let's explore branches further away from the canon base of the tree and onto a leaf of fanon#i just love dust a lot for the freedom he gives me. also nm because i came up with a egregious hc for him earlier today but forgot to post#tricule rant
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never watched an hbomberguy video thru but i started this new one bc ive seen 3847399349 posts abt it and it is making me once again ready to eviscerate one of my old college professors
#i have so many issues w that woman but one of the biggest was the fact that she heavily encouraged VERY HEAVY photoshop#on our architecture projects. as in like only a small portion was actually to be built by us#she wanted our final boards to be these weird collages with just abt everything in the end photoshopped#and im looking at these like. past examples shes showing us#and not only are they practically illegible#theyre also just 80% collage from uncredited artists#and im like maam i dont know if you can even call this transformative. this is just straight plagarism#and i asked her how best to credit the 1 (one) artist id be using art from#and she was like eh. if you have space. add it. but dont stress#MAAM.#shes the one who told me to put a 3 story tall few hundred feet long pane straight pane of glass w no mullions in a resi building in#downtown chicago#so there was smthn up w her anyway.#m text#(all her favorite students works looked like plagarized legend of zelda temples btw)#(she told me not to worry abt ADA or even bathrooms in my HALFWAY HOME)
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Sometimes I think I must be a weird author because everyone keeps making "haha writing the middle part of the story is so hard haha the start and the ending are so easy baba" jokes but I never know how a story will end.
I start and then I write the middle, and then a logical conclusion happens.
#idk it's just so weird to me.#like how would i know how it ends when i don't know what these characters go through. i sometimes have like 10 vague ideas#for how it could potentially end but i never know and i never write the ending before the rest#maybe it's because when i write I'm usually sorting something out through it? so logically I can't know the ending because#I don't know the answer to my problems. im trying to find that. sometimes I don't find it#my first 'book' was written when i was just 8 so obviously it sucked and it was too simple but I'm using it as an example because#back then i struggled with abusive parents and peers who sexually harassed each other and the environment was full of bullying#to the point of some kids bashing another kid's head in#and the book reflected that. i felt confused and didn't understand. it was like my father was two different people#and all the adults encouraged that line of thinking. they kept saying that my father is a good person who loves me and that#only bad people do bad things. that family is always good. i liked my friends. i had good memories of times with them.#they were also cruel children who would relentlessly harass and bully anyone who was poorer than them or uglier or smarter or#who simply didn't agree with them. everyone seemed to want me to view people as either good or bad.#i was trying to think about it in the book. and you know I arrived at the conclusion that there are no such things at all#i realised that people are just people. that unfortunately the father who was nice to me was the same one who beat my mother and#yelled slurs at us. the people who were mean to me and others and who spread lies and convinced boys to beat people up for them#were also the people who were my friends. i found that everyone was capable of everything and that it's all just socialisation#the book ended in a way that reflected this.#this is the way i write most of my longer stuff. there is a question. there is a problem. i try to find an answer to it#sometimes there isn't an answer. sometimes there is. but the course of the story will reflect it either way
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Thinking about that time when I was pressured into giving my testimony by not only my peers but also one of the religious leaders at my church even though I kept stating I didn't want to and was uncomfortable.
And then when I finally did, the testimony I told was about how I'd learned that not all Christians were good people and about how people had used god, Christianity, and their authority to hurt me and people I loved and how I was having to seperate the way they acted from the beliefs I held and then everyone looked at me like this:
#im not even a Christian anymore and im STILL having to work on this#i want to make sure im being the appropriate amount of a dickhead to people#christian that thinks abusing and harrassing people is okay? hello im hear to be a dickhead to you#but Christian who is simply respectfully and peacefully practicing their religion? i really should not be a dickhead to that person#basically deconstructing and trying ti heal from my trauma so thaf i dont continue the cycle or hive birth to a new one#id like the abuse to end with me#i thought this instance was hilarious though#also for anyone who doesnt know what a testimony is:#im not sure the exact definition but basically you talk about how you found god or something#usually the more grueling and horrible your life was before you converted and the better it was after the more encouraged youd be by others#a very common example was people who had struggled with addiction or alcoholism and then recovering because of their new faith#but i was very uncomfortable because everyone else in the group i was in was born and raised Christian and i knew this#we were also between the ages of like 12 and 16 so not exactly rife with devastating additions or tales of loss and grief#i think the most convincing one and the one that was the least dramatized or confusing was just this one kid#this one kid who talked a out how being born prematurely had affected his life and i think his parents also got divorced#or he had an absent dad or something#anyway moral of the story: dont pressure people to tell you things. its disrespectful and you may find you dont like the story you get
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i wish all people who buy the sonic action figures just to resell them for over double the original price a very Explode. i hope you get stuck with those for months and months because no one wants to buy them for the price youre asking for and if you manage to sell them at all its for the price you got it for or less because no one would buy them otherwise
#WHEREEEE are people getting vector and charmy and big and chaos i can only find them from resellers :(#and for absolutely RIDICULOUS prices too no one is selling them for a reasonable price at all#so many of them are 50+ or even 100+ dollars#they cost 10 dollars each in stores before you took them all stop scamming people#sighhh this happened with rouge too and i eventually found her in store and she became a bit more common after a while#hoping thatll happen with these other guys too#because i refuse to give in and buy from a reseller because thatll just encourage them to do this shit again. and also its too expensive#i cannot stand it when people do stuff like this#buy new popular-ish toys and collectibles and stuff just to resell it for way more than its worth i mean.#not just with sonic stuff but in general#the only other example i can think of off the top of my head is when people do this with every single new monster high release#to the point where people who actually want them cant get them#but im sure this happens with other stuff too
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