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wizardofahz · 2 years ago

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Time's Favorite Superhero

Fandoms: Fringe, 12 Monkeys A/N: Happy 10th end-of-Fringe-aversary! This was written in Cassie's POV, but hopefully it should be readable to 12 Monkeys and Fringe fans alike.

Cassie takes in the lab before her. It was not what she'd imagined, old-fashioned as it is, when the FBI had come to her for help. She had expected something fancier, high-tech, because despite how much government agencies enjoyed griping about their budgets, surely the elite teams got the latest and greatest, right?

Behind them, their FBI guide slips away. A different FBI agent approaches. "Hi. I'm Agent Olivia Dunham with the F--"

"Woah," Jennifer draws out in a long exhale before exclaiming, "Hey, Otter Eyes!" Given their close proximity, Cole jerks back at the volume. "I found someone Time likes as much as you." Jennifer turns back to Agent Dunham with dual finger guns. "You gotta die, but Time will always find a way to bring you back."

"Jennifer!" Cassie scolds. She knows holding the entire timeline in her head is difficult for Jennifer, but she also hoped Jennifer would know better than to talk to people about their deaths by now.

Jennifer observes Agent Dunham carefully.

"Spoiler alert?" she says more contemplatively than guiltily. If Cassie had to guess, Jennifer is sorting through the timeline and double checking which events have already happened.

In the background, an older man in a lab coat leans into the younger man beside him and asks, "Is she an Observer?"

Agent Dunham has clearly experienced her share of weirdness. She barely reacts beyond a quirked eyebrow, and her voice is dry when she responds, "By all accounts, I have died a couple times."

"Right on!" Jennifer cheers as if Coach Time had drawn up a brilliant play and Agent Dunham followed through with a crowd-rousing dunk. She holds up a hand, asking for a high-five that Agent Dunham doesn't seem inclined to reciprocate.

To save them all from further awkwardness, Cassie sticks her hand out in Agent Dunham's direction. "I'm Dr. Cassandra Railly, a virologist with the CDC, but you can call me Cassie."

Jennifer pouts when Agent Dunham reaches for Cassie's hand instead of her own.

Between Jennifer's eccentricities and Cole's lingering post-apocalyptic gremlin social skills, Cassie decides to make the rest of the introductions herself. "That is Jennifer Goines, CEO of the Markridge Group, and this is James Cole."

Agent Dunham's gaze settles on Jennifer, reappraising, then lands on Cole. "And what's your role?"

Cole shrugs. "I just have a vested interest in making sure this sort of thing doesn't happen again."

"Again?"

"You know how it is," Cassie steps in. No one needs to know about the pandemic-induced apocalypse they broke time to fix. "Humanity likes repeating history, pandemics included."

"Oh yes," the older man says, sounding entirely too excited.

"This is Dr. Walter Bishop" -- Agent Dunham says, quickly cutting off what Cassie can only assume is Dr. Bishop's incoming pathogenic fanfare -- "and Peter Bishop."

She doesn't expand on Peter Bishop's credentials, but there's clearly a familial resemblance. It seems theirs is not the only family in the world-saving business.

Speaking of families.

Still pouting from the rejection, Jennifer turns her frustration on Cassie.

"I can practically hear Frau Grandma when you say my name like that. 'Ms. Goines,'" she says in mimicry of Jones' disapproving voice, then in Cassie's, "Jennifer."

Agent Dunham clears her throat, a noise bordering on impatience, and begins debriefing Cassie's contingent on the weaponized virus the Fringe team found. The situation is relatively contained at the moment, but they want a cure developed in case of a potential breach.

Cassie and Jennifer join the Bishops in tackling the problem. Agent Dunham sits to the side, occasionally watching and asking questions, but mostly reviewing whatever case evidence they have.

Cole also situates himself elsewhere, antsy with nothing to do. His eyes flit towards Agent Dunham often. She's the only one with a gun and therefore the biggest potential threat, but Cassie notes an underlying curiosity, probably wondering what also made her special in Time's eyes.

Cassie would be curious too, but she has bigger fish to fry. Actually, no. Wrong animal. Because as pressing as another global pandemic is, her most immediate concern is herding cats, super genius cats with an infinite capacity and penchant for chaos. The synergy of Walter and Jennifer is frankly too much for one person to handle.

Peter helps of course. He's friendly and personable, but more importantly he's familiar with Walter's quirks in the same way that Cassie is familiar with Jennifer's. When dealing with such unique minds though, familiarity can only get them so far.

Walter sends Peter in the direction of some shelves and demands a stabilizing agent. "Quickly, Peter!"

"How am I supposed to find it when nothing is organized?" Peter asks with an exasperated petulance only a son could achieve.

"Everything is organized," Walter grumbles. "Where is Astrid? She would know where it is."

Jennifer bites her lip as she carefully pipettes 3 mL from a beaker raised to eye level. Task successfully completed, she responds, "On honeymoon with her wife."

Peter pauses his search and frowns. "How did you know that?"

"Hello???" Jennifer flings her arms out, and Cassie quickly grabs the beaker from her hand. "Primary! Give me yellow and I can paint you the world! Speaking of which, I never got them a present. Do they want a unicorn?"

Cassie doesn't bring up the fact that Jennifer doesn't even know this Astrid, not personally anyway. "Focus," is all she says.

"I want a unicorn," Walter says, focusing on the wrong thing.

"Walter."

Agent Dunham's curt, no-nonsense tone proves the most effective at getting everyone to focus on the problem at hand. Cassie gives her an appreciative nod.

They get in a few hours of productive work before Walter starts wandering around his lab and rifling through his own things.

Peter sighs. "What are you looking for now?"

"My stash of Brown Betty."

Cassie has no idea what that is, but the injection of disapproval, or is it alarm, in Peter's voice has her paying more attention. "No, absolutely not."

"We have been working on this for days," Walter protests. "I need to reset my mind, open it up to a new perspective."

"That's why Olivia brought in Dr. Railly and her team."

"Chill, dude," Jennifer says, once again dipping into her omniscience and leaving Cassie behind. "It's not like he's suggesting we break out the LSD."

Oh, they're talking about drugs.

Oh.

Oh no.

Dealing with Walter and Jennifer sober is already a lot. Cassie is absolutely not up for dealing with them on hallucinogenics.

"What about a food break?" Cassie suggests.

"That's a good idea," Agent Dunham says, and what she says goes.

They end up getting burgers and wraps. Cole ignores their cow's protests and digs right in.

(Right, because they have a cow… Maybe their cow is like Jennifer's turtle. Who knows? Certainly not Cassie.)

"Why yellow?" Walter asks Jennifer. "I merely ask to ascertain which set of primary colors you abide by. You mentioned painting, which leads me to believe your primary system is completed with blue and red, rather than cyan and magenta."

The two talk about Primaries and the Observers that Walter mentioned earlier.

Cassie is happy to let their discussion wash over her until Walter says, "We've had our own dabblings with primary colors of course, but RGB like the cones in our eyes. A simple pattern to induce hypnosis. Green, green, green, red. Green, green, green, red."

Walter's voice morphs into Olivia Kirschner's, ringing in Cassie's ears.

You're walking through a red forest, and the grass is tall. It's just rained. Most of the blood has washed away.

In front of her eyes, a green forest ends, making way for a clearing of tall grass. The scene flashes, green turning to red.

Cassie can't stop her tense voice from wobbling just a little. "Can we not?"

Cole takes a break from ravishing his cheeseburger to give her a look of concern. She waves him off.

Sufficiently rejuvenated after their food break, the scientists get back to work. Heat-shock proteins show the most promise for a treatment strategy, but they find that the virus adapts quickly to rising temperatures. If they can "speed up a fever" and surprise the virus with a high temperature before it can adapt, they might get a culture to produce the immune response they need.

That's a big if.

Brow furrowed and eyes closed, Cassie pinches the bridge of her nose. "There's no way we can instantaneously jump the solution to the right temperature. You might as well be asking for spontaneous human combustion."

"Yes!" Walter claps his hands together. "Olivia!"

"Yes!" Jennifer echoes. She puts on a dramatic voice as if narrating an action movie trailer. "Time for Time's favorite superhero." Then she snorts with laughter. "Ha! Time for Time..."

"No," Agent Dunham says, and to Cassie's surprise, she's reluctant instead of dismissive.

"I'm sorry, superhero?" Cole asks, tone mostly disbelieving but also a little put out.

So Cassie was right. He had been sussing out the competition for Time's favorite, so to speak.

"Don't worry, Otter Eyes," Jennifer says. "You're still Time's favorite non-superhero."

"I don't know how to--" Agent Dunham gestures vaguely at the equipment in front of them.

"You use your powers more than you know," Jennifer says, unusually gentle. "It's why I like being around you. You're so determined, you force Time and all its possibilities to chill. If you can dream a better world, you can make a better world. Makes things a little quieter." She taps the side of her head.

"So what exactly is your superpower?" Cole asks Agent Dunham.

But it's Walter who announces proudly, "Telekinesis."

"What, like making things move around?" Cole continues skeptically. "How is that going to help with your virus thing?"

"Olivia's powers can work at the molecular and even the particle level."

Cassie turns to Agent Dunham as understanding dawns. "So you can direct the speed of the solvent molecules, which will give us the exact temperature we need."

"But I can't control it." The impenetrable aura of Agent Dunham is buckling now, self-doubt making itself known. "Give me a dying patient and then maybe it'll happen, but I can't do it by just staring at a petri dish."

"Hmm." Jennifer taps her chin in thought. "Like the light box bomb."

"We are not attaching a bomb to any of this," Peter growls.

Cassie doesn't know what a light box bomb is or how it relates to the situation, but she does know that Agent Dunham is looking increasingly uncomfortable.

"Hey," she says, approaching Agent Dunham in her least threatening manner. "Do you have somewhere more private we can go? Why don't you come with me, and we'll figure it out."

Cassie doesn't know if her words are all that compelling -- she knows less about the other woman's powers than most in the room -- but Agent Dunham seems to appreciate the opportunity to escape. She gives Cassie a brief nod and then leads her to an adjoining office space.

Agent Dunham isn't exactly the most talkative character, and under stressful circumstances, that seems to hold even more true. Cassie finds herself having to speak first.

"What's your preferred breathing technique when firing a gun?"

The non-sequitur proves effective at pulling Agent Dunham out of her funk. Her eyes snap to Cassie's. "Excuse me?"

"You know: respiratory pause, half-hold; that kind of thing."

"You shoot?"

"It's not a skill that I thought I'd ever pick up, but--" Cassie shrugs. "Life has a way of twisting things around."

She nearly mentions what a good shot she is, how she's better than Cole, who taught her, but then she figures that would probably make Agent Dunham nervous about leaving him with the Bishops.

"The reason I ask," Cassie continues, "is that maybe we can borrow something you're familiar with and transfer it to getting your powers working when you want them to, make it feel more natural."

They work through it that way. One step at a time, seeing what works for Agent Dunham and what doesn't. They borrow other pieces of shooting advice, such as "squeeze, don't pull" for fine-tuned control.

It's still slow going, but they get there in the end. Agent Dunham manages enough control to activate a few test-retest cultures, and the scientists find a potential cure ready for human testing if the need ever arises.

"Thank you for your help," Agent Dunham says as the visitors prepare to leave, and Cassie knows she's talking about more than just the virus.

"I'm glad it worked out," Cassie says, also talking about more than just the virus.

"Auf wiedersehen, Time's favorite superhero," Jennifer says, suddenly appearing and draping an arm around each woman. She tells Agent Dunham, "Tell Astrid she'll have a unicorn waiting for her when she gets back. Would you like a unicorn too? You are after all, a unicorn, among humans."

"I would still like a unicorn," Walter says.

"Three unicorns coming right up," Jennifer crows cheerfully.

"Say good-bye, Jennifer," Cassie says. She'll have to warn Agent Dunham that the unicorns are very real.

She doesn't miss Agent Dunham's grateful look as she drags Jennifer away.

#12 monkeys #cassandra railly #jennifer goines #fringefox #olivia dunham #walter bishop #fringe #some ideas need time to develop roasting slowly over a rotating spit #and some crash into being like a series of bumper car collisions #this was the latter #anyway one day nina tries to recruit jones to massive dynamic #i can't tell if that'll be good or bad for the world #but either way it'll be a 'watch out world' moment #ahzy writes

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finsterhund · 1 year ago

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Every time I think I'm safe from heatwaves we get another one.

Maui is also on fire.

How much of our permafrost have we lost? I don't even want to check.

Will my favourite extant wild animal (emperor penguins) still be around in a hundred years?

Yeah it's one of these days 😔

And through all of this my bank is like 500 in the red. My overdraft is only 300. Bruh. Agony and pain on planet earth

But still I'm silly 🥺

Haven't been able to do my laundry so I'm not snuggling Sly because I'm in less than clean pajamas. Why did they raise the laundry cost so much :(

Talking to my mom and she's visiting family and seeing my cousins who are healthy normal well adjusted boys with ADHD with good lives and healthy support networks and functional social lives has made her realize how much she allowed my birth father to ruin my brother and me and she's shown so much remorse and yeah it is partially her fault but I'm telling her over and over that she was just as much taken advantage of by that monster as we were and it's wrong for her to shoulder the entirety of the blame when it wouldn't have happened if she had been married to a better person. Idk.

Her feeling so much remorse has actually made her soften her heart enough that she wants to send me the quilt grandma made for me though. Or is it the quilt great grandma made for me. She doesn't know. Idk how she'd be able to forget that. I fear her memory is just dying. Maybe she's so scared of my ability to remember things because it's showing to her she might be getting one of those mental diseases you get for memory with age. Idk. I know we're incompatible to live together and our relationship is still not healthy but I do care about her a lot. Don't want her to get sick or die. Really afraid of death and people I care about dying.

I'm not being torn apart mentally this time and I contribute that to my new antipsychotics but it's still pretty depression to think about all of this.

It's too hot to do anything so I'm just sorta stuck right now. Gotta keep telling myself that my financial distress will eventually become less scary. Because eventually my roommate won't need me to cover his expenses and eventually the government will have to raise my pension and eventually the housing market will collapse and eventually all the old money will die. Or whatever. Having a scary negative bank account and getting insufficient funds charges are just stupid monkey fake problems it doesn't mean I'm going to get hurt it doesn't mean I'm going to starve it doesn't mean I'm going to die. Just keep telling myself this. But it's still scary. I don't like feeling like I owe things. I know I can probably go to my bank and get them to reverse certain fees even make them increase my overdraft limit perhaps. Idk.

I just wish things could get better already you know? I get so tired all the time.

Apparently we're going camping on Friday. I'm all ready. Hoping my plants will be fine. I will water them well before we go. We're only going to be gone for half a week. Timed it around when I get paid so I can be away from civilization for the last days before my money comes in and puts by bank out of the negative. Roommate still says he doesn't know if he'll be able to cover all his own expenses this month yet. Big frustrated sigh. I don't just help because I need rent paid to keep the roof over my own head but also because I care. Maybe I care too much. People insist those with brains like mine do not care so I might as well prove them right. Less pain for me. But I just care. I care too much. Maybe I care because it helps me survive. I don't know.

Maybe the fact that I did have the period of my early years where my grandparents took care of me has actually made my life harder. Because I got a taste of how things should be so I'm less resilient to being hurt. I don't know if I'm conveying that thought well enough. Basically it allowed me to not have as thick of skin or whatever. Idk. I wonder if there will ever be a point in my relationship with my mom where we could live together. Humans are supposed to care for each other. God.

My cousins are all able to grow up. I am not. I am stunted and broken and frozen. Even if I thrive it's like I'm a bonsai tree compared to trees growing wild. I need special pruning. I need special access to light and water. I need special fertilizer. I can never reach my full potential. Can I thrive? Some think so. Some don't. If I get the best care possible I can look nice. But is that thriving? Is it inhumane regardless? Who can say. But there's no space for me to live "properly". If that makes sense.

How traumatic is it that it's integral to the queer experience, the neurodivergent experience, the disabled experience, that we have to fight just to have space to live? Humanity has built boxes that we now have to stake out an existence within the parameters of. To earn the right to exist.

Hoping I enjoy our camping trip. I'm not expecting it to fix me but I am fully anticipating that I enjoy it. Assuming I'm able to still enjoy things.

I have everything I need for the trip. I was responsible. Please don't let it be ruined.

I wish I'd hear back from my surgeon. I was supposed to have my surgery in May. Fucking May. My summer could have been so much better.

I wish me and Cazza could live on the farm. Was thinking about how if I had some money I could buy the land around the house back and set up a wind farm. Clean energy you know? Solar would be great out there too. I wouldn't even have to run a traditional farm. We need energy. I'd that my purpose? Hmm. If I was one of those assholes I could mine crypto too.

I think about having a solarium. You know one of those cool rooms with the big rounded ceiling windows? I would love to have that in the middle of nowhere and just have sleepovers out there. When it rains it would hit and run down those windows and look and sound really nice. I really just am made for the steppe. One or two special trees, wide open space, big sky. If reincarnation is real I hope I get to be Mongolian.

#text post #negative #long post

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dourpeep · 3 years ago

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sometimes i just think of collage student!xiao. an intimidating and aloof guy who no one dares to approach. someone who was never loved by his family except for his grandmother. idk why i just like the thought of him feeling at ease whenever his grandma pats him or just gives him a geniune smile. he only feels in peace with her. he plays the guitar. yes, and it's an electro guitar. in campus, he stays far from the crowd and just sits under a tree by himself - listening to music maybe (i bet he would like arctic monkeys) then one day he meets you - somehow. proabably you are also someone who is not fond humans and noisy places. you began to sit and read a book underneath the same tree as him once you noticed how peacful there was. when he first saw you invading his area he was annoyed, but obviously he wouldn't tell you to go away. surely, you'd get bored and leave eventually so he just ignored your presence. you weren't that content of him either at first, definitely would rather being alone but the more you spent your time there the more you realized how interesting he was - not to mantion how handsome he was- *cough cough* witnessing the way he plays an instrument was also impressive, and before you know it you grew quite fond of him despite not having a conversation yet so far. but on his end, he wasn't that delighted. still wanting to be alone yet not wanting to leave his tree. though he thinks you resemble his grandmother? maybe personality-wise. so he let's you stick around i guess ummm... i'm running out if ideas lmao i'm sorry this is a little longer than i intended it to be. i'd like to hear your ideas about collage student!xiao too tho haha <3

PRIMOOOOOOOS!!!!!

MY BAD IT'S NOT BUT WHOEVER IT IS PLS BECOME A DEDICATED ANON SO I CAN SHOW YOU MY LOVE

Ooooo what if instead of grandma it's like his elderly neighbor who lives in the same apartment complex that he does? He's been on his own for so long (maybe mid teens?) that she's become his family. Always inviting him over for tea and almond tofu (it wasn't until she first served the dish to him that he realized how much he loves it). Maybe even with the guitar that he plays originated from a conversation he had with her about how one of the things he's always wanted to do is learn to play---

Of course, following his high school graduation (which she ofc attended), they returned to her unit. He's happily enjoying a snack that she's prepared when she shuffles back into the common room and presents a large, wrapped gift. Already, Xiao knows what it is and she gets the tightest hug that he can give-

To her delight, he picks up the instrument incredibly quick and often plays for her! She absolutely adores his passion for it.

(continued under the cut!)

Cut to the middle of his first semester in college. He's still not really sure about what he wants to do but with the unyielding support of his Ahma, he's slowly figuring it out. But for now, he's practicing under the shade of the big ginko on campus. It's ironically his favorite type of tree, as silly as it seems. Especially in the autumn when the leaves start to turn gold and they flutter and dance down like hundreds of butterflies all around.

It's just after lunch that he makes his way to his usual spot when he sees you there. Of course, Xiao is irritated. No one ever comes here, so why the sudden change? But there you are, quiet with a book open in your lap.

A part of him wants to just leave and wait for his next class somewhere else, but he's stubborn. So he walks over and sits right next to you. When you ignore him, he feels ??? a little offended. How can you so blatantly ignore a whole person? Not...not that he's the same way.

This little pattern continues for a week, and then-

"You play guitar?"

The dumbest question ever, to ask someone who's holding a guitar and carries it around often that. But he holds his tongue and nods.

Another week passes and he realizes that you're in the same English course. Maybe next time there's an essay, you'll be partnered up. After these two weeks, he's surprisingly warmed up to you, though it's probably due to the fact that you're more similar than he thought you'd be. In fact, you almost remind him of his Ahma--the lovely old lady that's taken him in.

Not in a weird way though! (he has to shake his head to clear his thoughts)

But you've been patient with him, not invading his space despite existing in it, inquiring about his hobbies and enjoying the quiet when he's enjoying the quiet. It's...nice.

But with the semester quickly coming to an end, there's a pit in his stomach when he realizes that he might not be able to see you- after all, you're taking the same English course but who's to say you're not graduating soon? Or transferring? Or even--the thought makes his chest clench--moving?

It's definitely not unheard of.

So during finals week, he finally gets the guts to ask you if you'd like to study for that English essay coming up. He knows that you're both alright at the subject and don't really need to prepare for it (not when the professor is just doing a rehash of an earlier essay), but the idea of this lost opportunity when so much time has already passed doesn't sit right with him.

His Ahma is the one who actually suggests this. He's told her all about you (and when he finally brings you to visit her, she'll let you know all about the good things that Xiao has said to his utter embarrassment), and seeing how smitten he's become it's only natural that she wants to help out.

It's a cafe. The very place that she had her first date with her late husband (who, funnily enough, she says was so very similar to young Xiao).

You're there and waiting by the time that he arrives, backpack on the floor and binder open with papers spread on one side of the table.

When you notice him and look up, the smile that spreads on your face--

Maybe...he didn't mind you as much as he did that fateful day beneath the ginko tree.

#xiao #xiao x reader #college au #adventures in college #genshin impact #genshin impact xiao #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagines #genshin impact headcanons #imagines #headcanons #anon asks #I'm....very passionate about college au Xiao and Albedo #this whole thing was 770~ words oh my god

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garblegox · 3 years ago

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• Humpty Dumpty Elegy 8 | five books on 🦊POWER🦔 •

When I was an eleven year old boy, a very wise squirrel said something I never forgot:

Insecurity is the one thing that never goes out of style. And I am proudly outdated

He's a good lord and master, that Foamy the Squirrel. Taught me an embarrassingly large number of good ideas. Embarrassing, mostly because it exposes my obvious fatherlessness.

But hey, I'm a man of many dads. I got OG Gaydad (plus a step-Gaydadmother + their fuccboi), Realdad the Deaddad, Stepdad the Notyetdeaddad, Trinidad Deaddad, Partially-lobotomized Mohawkdad, new Trinidad dad (alive), plus Doug Stanhope, Aesop Rock, and everyone's LORD AND MASTER Foamy (My mom hasn't banged the last three, yet). A real Papa Johns Buffet.

My mom's got a nice book for you, it's called, "The Ethical Slut" by Dossie Easton. Sounds cool. Wasn't cool hearing her and my Grandma discuss it at the dinner table. Yuck.

So what are we in for today? What's the topic du mois?

POWER

I knew this was coming, and even though Humpty's not actually reading any of this, I wanted to make sure I put books on being a solid person, before I recommend books on being a powerful one.

Readers definitely care more about power and influence, than ethics and morality, or god forbid, narcissism. Which I completely understand; who the fuck am I, anyway? But I'm playing with fire here, giving a wannabe serial/spree killer/rapist books on power.

But now, with all the medicinal shit out of the way, time for the delicious stuff. Topics that are way more fun, like psychedelics, stupidity, "monkey brains", the soul, etc. Should be mostly free of moralizing from now on.

Fuck it, say the rock can't hide you, the river's bleedin', and the sea's boilin'. Sinnerman, you're going to need power. Pa-ha-ha-hawah!

• #1 The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell •

Lets start off small. I say Humpty's something, if only an empty shell with room to fill. Humpty says he's nothing... period.

Pick something you find insignificant, and he'll diminish himself beyond that. A mote of dust? Too big. An atom? My, that's generous. Sub-atomic particle? Close, but still too energetic to be his match.

The self-hate is so cartoonish you have to wonder if he's just putting on a show. Even Wednesday, with his actual life of pain, at least sees the fact that he survived it all as some measure of greatness. But Humpty? Well we all know how he works at this point. It's a short script.

So lets humor him. He's itty fuckin bitty. Who cares? Who isn't? We're all ants, hoping a good hill will emerge from us. Thing is, hills don't emerge from one ant; ants are pretty pathetic specimens all alone. But as a group, they can eat an elephant, brain first, and elephants know it.

This book is like Atomic Habits, for hills and hives. No person of influence or significance ever made it to our awareness alone. They came crowdsurfing in on a swarm of apes, tossed about like a beloved beachball.

It's easy to get misled into thinking there's only one correct role to play in society, and that you just ain't it. Maybe you find that the most legendary people are the ones who can convince people of anything, or have a vast library of info in their head, or an expansive network of powerful acquaintances. Maybe you're daunted by the idea that you have to be all three at once to accomplish your dreams.

Pick the one that comes to you most naturally, nurture that side, then search for the other two, and befriend them. Geniuses occupy multiple categories. But hey, fuck being a genius, don't be a narcissist, move on. We is what we is. Intelligence has diminishing returns, and the vast majority of an individual's intelligence is stored in their peers, not their brains.

Malcolm calls these three "Salesmen, Mavens, and Connectors"

I used to get down on myself, for spending so much of my free time alone, hammering useless factoids into my head. It seems I prefer reading about humans over interacting with them. Meanwhile people like Wednesday and my brother hunger for new connections 10x harder than I do. I just siphon friends from them.

However, as much as I envy their drive to connect, they envy my ability to be comfortable alone, and the knowledge I've independently accumulated over the years. They've both referred to me as a major resource for information, that's given them an edge in their own life.

After reading this book, I finally recognized that I'm fine as-is, and so are they. In fact I've always had a pretty good thing going, despite my reclusiveness. I'm a maven, they're connectors. The only thing we're missing, is a salesman and a mission. Then we can finally start that cult we've been dreaming about. wat?

Now, Malcolm focusses on how these three combine to make HUGE things happen, and gives the slight impression that they're rare people. But that's not true. The scale doesn't matter, whether you're looking to put together the next Amazon, or just make a fond name for yourself in a little pissbunk town of eighty people. Humans all generally fall into these categories. If you're wondering what your calling is, it's good to start by asking yourself whether you're a connector, a maven, or a salesperson.

Greatness is not a highway with just one fast lane. It's a heavy ass carriage that needs three horses at a time. Figure out what kind you are, find the papers and scissors to your rock, harness up, and get pulling.

[p.s. Malcolm infamously promotes the "broken windows policy" in this, which has been debunked. Big cringe. But it plays a very small role in making his overall point. Don't let it distract you too much.]

• #2 The Square And The Tower by Niall Fergusson •

What does power mean to you? When do you feel that taint-tingling, goose-bumping, buckle-swashing feeling that you are in the presence of something truly powerful?

Me, I'm less spooked by kings and their coterie. Likely a form of stupidity on my part. But I always see hierarchs as the middle of the hierarchy. Because above, below, behind, and beyeet them, lie networks and conspiracies. It's networks that chill my bones. Like the neat little gang of psychics I spotted in New Orleans.

I've seen the power of them my whole life. My mother is a member of the largest conspiracy in the Great Lakes/New England region: Barbershop singers. She's got connections from Salem to Sault St. Marie. She even sang with one of my principals as a Sweet Adeline which got me way more mercy than my misbehaving ass ever deserved. One of her other friends even got me a job working at Camp Rock (aka Camp Kilcoo) for a summer, living in a cabin next to a lake, making bacon and eggs for some delightful little punkass kids. That place taught me to shake hands like a man.

I exaggerate, but really, a mere barbershop network is like hammerspace for human potential. Reach in, pull something out for free. Even weirder, my mom's known by hundreds of people by a single letter. I can say "You know X?" And people go "Oooooh! So YOU are X's son!!"

If you want to keep an eye on power, you have to know what you're looking at. Now, it's a mistake to put hierarchies and networks on a continuum of opposites. Power can coagulate, or it can dissolve. Any Satanists out there?

Networks can act as hierarchies, and hierarchies can network. The best analogy is in the name: Hierarchies are vertical like towers, networks are horizontal like the market square beneath them. Some shit is a bit diagonal.

Historians are absolutely terrible at piecing together networks throughout history, because they leave measly paper trails. Either they're non-existent, or so vast and full of noisy data as to be encrypted to history.

Niall first does a great job of drawing clear lines between how hierarchies and networks operate. Then for the rest of the book, he gives a variety of examples of both, throughout history.

I didn't realize till I reread these books, but this one pairs perfectly with The Tipping Point. Niall discusses network nodes, and the importance of a node's "centrality". It all becomes extremely familiar when he gets into the three different kinds of centrality:

"Degree centrality" = The number of edges radiating out of a node. Like how many doors a room has. A room with many doors has high degree centrality. With humans, it's a measure of sociability. Or as Gladwell might put it, the node is a "connector"

"Betweenness centrality" = The extent to which info and influence passes through a node. It could be a room with few doors, but those few doors are where huge amounts of traffic and data flows through. Not a high quantity of doors, but a high quality. These are the "maven" nodes.

"Closeness centrality" = The number of steps it takes for one node to reach another. The Kevin-Baconiness of a node. The fewer the average steps from one node to all others in the network, the higher the closeness centrality.

For anyone who has read You Are Not So Smart and were left wanting to learn more about Dunbar's Number, these first two books both cover the concept pretty well.

I could go on, this is a very dense book, packed with cool information. How do poor people and rich people network? What are the "7 great insights of network theory"? What makes weak ties so strong? How come the rich get richer? Davos Man? Illuminati? Technology? Jungle warfare? Would the world be better without hierarchy? When is it time to be a non-conformist, or to integrate?

I'm afraid you'll just have to read this big thicc bitch to find out.

• #3 On Grand Strategy by John Lewis Gaddis •

You used to have to join an Ivy League school to get what this book offers. How fancy.

If there's one thing I absolutely love, it's a book on harmony. Taking two powerful and compelling opposites, finding the hip that joins them, and exemplifying those who can harmonize both sides into one effective point of view.

What are you, a fox, or a hedgehog? A map, or a compass?

As the analogy goes, the fox searches for food everywhere, and everywhere finds a new challenge to overcome. Life is uncertain. The fox is willy, creative, and dynamic. Whereas the hedgehog sits in one bush, and waits for his food to skitter and wriggle right up to him. Threaten him, he just balls up and waits. The hedgehog lives a simple life of certainty and stasis.

It's maybe unsurprising that Sonic is the de facto mascot for autism. Even though he's super fast, he moves in straight lines, and instead of staying still, he absolutely never wants to stop. A real linear fella, with a roguish fox-like veneer.

Many people make the mistake of trying to adopt just one form. But you need both. The other great analogy Gaddis uses is the topographical map vs the compass. One needs both to properly navigate. The compass points you north with certainty and straightforwardness, but it won't warn you of the swamps and cliffs, like a good map will.

With the basic dynamic laid out, Gaddis then loads you up with some choice examples throughout history, of foxes and their hedgehog foils, as well as people who embodied both styles with great harmony and success.

There are some fascinating pairs to think about. Machiavelli and St Augustine, Queen Elizabeth and King Philip II, Tolstoy and Clausewitz, Lincoln and Douglas, Jackson and Hamilton, etc. the respective foxes and hedgehogs of their times.

"Grand Strategy", according to John, involves combining one's inner fox and hedgehog, adapting to incompatibilities, keeping your self rooted with your head out of the clouds where platitudes swarm, and making decisions that can overcome the constant changes in time, space, and scale.

• #4 The 48 Laws Of Power by Robert Greene •

This is the book that started the Humpty Dumpty Elegy, officially. Scoffing at You Are Not So Smart was Hump's biggest single insult. But this got me in motion. I never planned on sharing this one with anybody. It even says to keep plenty of your best knowledge secret. But power crystalized into a topic, and without this, there were only four out of five books. Well sheeit.

Looking at the reviews, just the existence of a book like this upsets people. In fact, I was guilty of a similar attitude. I only read it after letting it sit in my library for more than a year. I figured only creepy douchebags and prisoners would read something like this.

But thanks to Chrissy Chaos blabbin' about it everywhere he went, I decided to give it a shake. And I'm so glad I did.

Now I'm upset at whatever put that bullshit in my head. Anybody who tells you not to empower yourself is your enemy. There's nothing to gain from being weak. Nothing for you, that is.

And if you think tough men are dangerous, wait until you see what weak men eggs are capable of -- Jordan Peterson, 12 Rules For Life

I should have known better. Repressing your shadow is one of the most effective ways of turning yourself into a neurotic psycho. You oughta be out there, vice signaling.

There were a number of rules that pointed the finger at Humpty, saying, "get this bastard out of your life!" But the one that obviously sealed the deal was,

Law 10: Infection, avoid the unhappy and unlucky.

Now, "unhappy and unlucky" describes Wednesday to a T. So I cracked a joke at him saying, "Sorry dude, my book says ya gotta go. Time to giddy the fuck up on out ma life, beitch!" We laughed, but I worried he might actually be thinking that the creepy power book I'm reading is saying mean things about him behind his back.

So I thought about it, and wondered what I might say to make it clear that Mr. Greene wasn't referring to my powerful and inspiring friend Wednesday. In case Wednesday happened to catch real feelings about it.

"He wasn't talking about you, he was talking about Humpty Dumpty."

🤯⚡💡

When I said that in my head, a lightning bolt fired off in there, all these neurons waiting to connect finally did, and Humpty's scheme unraveled in my mind from beginning to end.

Now, I'd like to reiterate, I never advocated for kicking Humpty Dumpty out of our little group. I merely told them that I was 100% done with his crybaby bullshit, and that I was planning on doing things differently for my own peace of mind. But The Twelve Days Of Christmas began, without me needing a single power law to guide it. I just wanted to bore him, and ignore him.

But aaah well fuck him, he's not reading this. All this guilty conscience shit has got to be getting boring.

When the book wasn't describing Dump as cancer, it actually described him as a dude with remarkable control over his life already. It's just that he laments everything that makes him powerful:

His intentions are obscure; He always says less than necessary; He's got a great reputation, outside of the Discord; He effortlessly courts attention towards his fake pitifulness; He gets others to do work for him; He's can be disarmingly honest and generous; He knows to appeal to people's self-interest or self-image; He's never committed to anyone; He played a sucker to catch a sucker (Wednesday and I); He's the living embodiment of the "surrender tactic"; He played on our need to believe; He can control your options, dealing only the cards he wants you to play with; All grapes are sour grapes to him; He IS a compelling spectacle; And though he behaves like others, he thinks like nobody else.

The fun part of reading this book is finding what things you actually do quite well. We learn plenty of these laws naturally, as kids, and it's validating hearing them in a book like this. Humpty's not helpless, no matter how much he insists. After reading this, I just can't buy it from him.

It's not just validating, but overall refreshing and unique. Robert wrote this out of frustration, as he apparently writes all of his books. He found nobody was writing anything practical or honest about power. Everything else avoided delving into the human shadow, or just telling it like it is when it comes to the ego.

"Amoral" is a fair word for this book. It is not gonna help you find eudaimonia, or fulfillment. It has no advice on what to do with all your newfangled power. So keep that in mind. Try my other recommendations.

But are you an anxious person? Why? You don't just have anxiety. You are anxious, about something. It's not a cold, nobody just sneezed it into you. Everyone's anxiety is their own complex tangle of knots for themself to unravel. So what's got you anxious?

I'd be willing to bet one major thread in that ball of knots is a feeling of powerlessness. From times you held power, and knowingly let it go. To times where you didn't know you had it till it was gone. Maybe you're another person who feels guilty about your own will to power, so you concealed it, from everyone first, then yourself. Maybe you had power before you knew it could corrupt, and you misused it, and don't think it belongs to you anymore. Don't let "power" be something ineffable to you like the idea of "cool" or "success"; It's a thing with definite properties.

This book is considered an absolute lifesaver for people in exploitative, political environments. Known as "the most popular book in prison", it's best usage is in the hands of those subjected to power, not the ones wielding it over others. 99% of people using this book are doing so defensively, not offensively.

If there's one great way to describe Humpty Dumpty, it's as a former prisoner. He's got all the markers of an animal, broken by an institution. Like Camus says, if prison changes you, it doesn't change you into a philosopher, but a dimwit or a monster.

My #1 goal with this series is to empower people (at the expense of one douchebag). I feel like I've always had a headstart on that in life, thanks to my parents and their unique attitudes. I think the most destructive people I've ever known were exemplars of weakness, not strength.

These are not absolute laws. There's no sane reason to worry about following all 48 laws at once, 24/7. Unless you can stomach the solitude of a pimp, which nobody really can, not even pimps. My workplace, for example, is very low on exploitation and politics, so I save a lot of energy and don't worry much about these laws each day. But if you have a goal, there are 48 definite things you can do to ensure you reach it.

And remember, there ain't no rest for the wicked. If you're looking to make a better world to live in, you gotta beat the bad guys to it.

• #5 The Dichotomy Of Leadership by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin •

Look at you, you powerful motherfucker. You did it. You're the boss now!

Alright now WAIT HURRY DON'T FUCK IT UP AAAH OH MY GOD WHHYYY!🔥⚠🦴🌊⚡💥☠

Ooooh way to go, you dick, everything's broken, people died, tisk tisk

Power and leadership ain't something to fuck around with. Nobody knows that better than our two Navy SEAL friends, Jocko and Leif.

I said I love books on harmony. This here is one of the best. Especially since these authors epitomize the idea of "skin in the game".

Not only did they successfully learn and apply these principles in war, they proved through their consulting company, Echelon Front, that they're applicable broadly, in all realms of leadership.

Jocko & Leif's first book, Extreme Ownership (or as my brother calls it Insane Responsibility) was a smash hit, and changed a lot of minds for the better. But that name, "extreme", broke many people's brains. So they followed it up with a book on balance: The Dichotomy Of Leadership.

Their goal was to empower through humility. But some bosses thought it all meant "micromanage with rabid zeal." And by doing so, they negated the ownership of everyone beneath them. People weren't allowed to make choices, so extreme ownership up and down the pecking order couldn't be achieved. Nobody was getting paid to think, and things would begin to get rigid, fragile, and collapse.

It was clear, that with responsibility out of the way, the next most important key to leadership is finding the healthy medians among the "countless dichotomies of leadership".

The ultimate dichotomy, to them, comes when a leader has to put their people's lives/livelihoods at risk, for the sake of the mission. But that's just the hardest one to stomach. Beyond that, they cover eleven more powerful dichotomies a leader must always keep in mind.

How do you own it all, while empowering others?

When does resolute become overbearing?

When do you mentor, and when do you fire?

Where's the line between training hard, and training smart?

How do you stay aggressive without being reckless?

How do you stay disciplined without being rigid?

How do you hold people accountable without holding their hands?

When should the leader follow?

You must plan, but when does it become overplanning?

Can you be humble without being passive?

How do you stay focused, but detached?

That's a whole bunch of shit, isn't it? Each one makes the hair holding Damocles' sword seem just that much thinner, and the sword that much sharper.

It's a whole lot more than just foxes & hedgehogs, maps & compasses, Hellenists & Hebraists, Squares & Towers, etc. All those seem adorably theoretical compared to everything in this book. This is Tolstoy, Clausewitz, AND Bonaparte, all in one. Plus enthralling stories of urban combat from the people stirring it up.

This book isn't just written for the bosses and supervisors of the world. Since only a tiny fraction of any group is in charge, and it probably won't be you. Their whole philosophy is about decentralized command, and instilling leadership qualities into every unit down the chain.

For me, since I haven't been in a leadership position since reading this, I have just been using it to size up bosses, and do my best to make myself immune from their misbehavior. I get my work done admirably, no complaints, no excuses, nobody ever cracks a whip at me; Nobody's gonna steal my table of knickknacks.

Growing up, I used to worry I'd be like my father, chronically quarrelling with my bosses. But with Jocko and Leif's gravelly voices in my head, I'm at the point in my life where I know my employers are lucky to have me, and I'm not afraid to remind them. Politely.

A huge factor in one's quality of life, is the quality of their workplace. These books can help you recognize, in a single week of work, whether you're in a place worth working in at all.

Judge your leaders on all this stuff. Do they take ownership of the mission, or blame others? Do they balance these dichotomies well? Do they waste precious leadership capitol by pulling rank? Are they afraid to fire carcinogenic coworkers? Do they prefer wishcasting over forecasting? Are they good teachers?

If they don't hold up, don't try to fix them, QUIT. High staff turnover is often the only leverage against a bad boss. I say the same thing every time a coworker tells me they handed in their two weeks:

"Congratulations!"

But if the mission matters to you, and quitting isn't an option, this book equips you with the knowhow to make the best of bad leadership. Ride out that high-turnover rate with grace, while your naughty boss capsizes. Or better yet, maybe it's time to start your own mission?

• End Bit •

Well, that was a pretty intense month of reading. I originally didn't read these books consecutively; these are some of my oldest and newest ones. But this month, I lined up the five most powerful ones I had, and snorted them right up my ass. It's been quite a rush.

In retrospect, I could have just as easily made the topic this month "harmony" because they all focus just as much on that. Which says a lot to me about the nature of power.

Even 48 Laws Of Power provides reversals to every rule, except for a critical handful which have no reversal (like there's NO benefit to ignorance of other people, PERIOD). With all the caveats and reversals, it's closer to 100 laws for you to ponder.

Ask yourself, who in your life would prefer that you didn't have power? I mean people that wince and cringe every time they spot you displaying strength. To some of you, that may sound paranoid and absurd. But I know people with peers that drag them down like crabs in a bucket; tall-poppy-types. Mostly women, if I'm being honest. One of the downsides of empathy and agreeability is how hard it makes getting rid of toxic "infectious" friends. Particularly ones who so casually throw around threats of self-harm.

If you keep an eye open though, you'll see there are a lot of people out there who don't want anyone to find strength or confidence. Their rationales vary from disgusting to pathetic, but the point is, some people are to strength as puritans are to joy. They find agency, efficacy, and potency to be egregious and profane. I fucking hate these people.

Their favorite targets are kids. There's something sacred to them about the insecurity we develop in puberty. They see the natural heroism and genius of children as evil, and seek to rid them of as much of it as possible.

When I was a kid, my favorite movie was Matilda. This scene set my whole brain on fire:

youtube

Uh oh! Here come the tears of anger!

I've met maybe a hundred adults like DeVito's character, in my life. I've always wondered if some people watch that scene, and envy the power Mr. Wormwood has, like "Aaah, yes, one day I'll have the privilege of belittling kids when they show good character. Mmmmmm."

Meanwhile, I still want to snap his finger off and do horrible things to him with it. I think part of me lives to spot people like Mr. Wormwood and Ms. Trunchbull, and try to make them feel small when they do this to others.

That voice does not belong in your head. You are not dumb, you are not little, you are not wrong. You can do incredible things with that human mind of yours, including imprisoning it within itself.

Maybe it's hack to reference the Allegory Of The Cave, but these are my top five cave-escapers. I saw Humpty as a man who needed help to escape the black hole of lies he grew up in, like I did. He played on some megalomaniacal Prometheus complex I didn't totally realize I had till I dealt with him.

There's a whole world out there of sweetness and light, begging for your enthusiasm, and I know a lot of people are missing it. It's easier to put the thought of it out of my mind, to get through the day. But when I stop and truly think about it, it breaks my heart and fills me with rage.

Come on out of that Chokey.

Unlearn helplessness!

See you next month! Five more books! What'll they be about?! When does it end?! I miss reading new things!

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mshermia · 3 years ago

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Heloo (yea it's with 2 Os and 1 L) (I won't be fixing that anytime soon) (so what) it's been a while. Hey hey hi!!! Hoope you're doing well (again, I know there's two of them this time tOOO) (oh would you look at that, 3 this time but still one extra) (I dont know what I'm doing) (stop staring okay I'll stOOp) (hih)

Remember the batshit crazy anon from a while back? Yea hello again. I havent been around. But it was on purpose actually. I had this lesson from this absolute nonexistent film called 'endgame'. I dont know if you ever heard of it. Doesn't really matter, the thing is I dont trust in any writer's or scriptwriter's or producer's mental state anymore. It's just the thing with you guys for some reason you usually adore annihilating our poor old souls. So I developed this fan-fucking-tastic method to preserve MY (basically limpdick) mental state: I wont be watching or reading or doing any form of consuming if I dont know how that thing will be ending. So I dont know what's going on with 'if they knew all about you' in the current moment. So I wont be (generally incompetently) critiquing your work today. (Although I did saw that peticular '89' there. And fuck me. Okay?) Instead I'm here to JUUUUUUUUUST stop by. Yeah. That's the only reason of my arrival this time.

Just a question though, can you really comprehend what I'm babbling about in general? Cause I just swiped a little down in your blog and I saw one of my asks and I read it. And my first reaction was 'what in the name of sanity did I try to say there'. Its was a knee jerk reaction really. Like.. I'm talking the hind legs off a monkey (yes a monkey not a donkey) (becaUSE I FUCKING SAID SO) Anyway. I'm not sober eoght know and I don't know what I'm going with this. So I should just stop right?

(But the real question is why am I drunk texting you? I mean it s not even texting. But it is.) (That's a lie I'm not drunk) (I'm only mentally ill) (also i didnt sleep half of this week) (I dont know what's that supposed to mean) (its fucking Tuesday I DONT KNOW OKAY?)

Also, are you gonna write one of those tastefull villian-Tony fics? You know, something with the July? I cant really remember but whatever.

Bye

Hellooo again anon!

Good to have you back ;)

I gotta say, I very much share your mistrust in those content creators. I blame both Endgame and Game Of Thrones for that. How I Met Your Mother too.

Like, how hard is it not to write such a sucky ending? It's not that hard. Just somewhere along the way people have started to care more about "surprising" their audience with some bullshit instead of delivering good storytelling.

As a storyteller, that annoys the shit out of me!

I am so close to finishing If They Knew All About You, I can practically see the finishlime but then my parents and grandma came to visit for a week and any writing efforts got sidelined.

(I've also got a little preoccupied with writing another chapter for my HYDRA Peter prompt, but let's keep that between us...)

As for a villain Tony story... I don't think that one is in my future. Maybe I'd consider a SIM version showing up for some dark whump? But it's unlikely, especially since I do still have a few stories lined up, including an IronStrange with Bio!Dad Spiderson and a broken Stony adoptive!Dad Steve story on the backburner that might be getting a little longer than I originally thought.

Aaaanyway! Thanks for checking in. Enjoyed it as usual 😉

#iron dad and spider son #iron dad #bio!dad tony stark #ironstrange #mcu stony #stony #marvel fanfiction #if they knew all about you #tony stark fic #peter parker #spiderson

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pafsplayground · 5 years ago

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OKAY WELL I REALLY WANT TO RANT ABOUT MY OCS SO YEAH Y'ALL HAVE TO SIT THROUGH THIS FOR A BIT

Page is super self conscious, that's why he's literally the only one in his immediate family who wears a mask.

Lil Meg was found rummaging in the trash by Jiri, she immediately bit Jiri's wings upon being picked up.

The last time Twist had more than two airheads they almost broke their leg after forgetting that their hand isn't attached to their body and tried to dangle from a tree. They were not allowed candy since.

Claymore LOVES coffee. It doesn't have the same effect to him as it does to others (cuz hes an alien) but he likes it.

Kinda obvious but Claymore smells like clay.

Page has a strawberry garden in his and Twist's backyard.

Fluff brings Claymore coffee from the Cafe whenever she visits her brothers.

Jiri, who started as just my internet persona, is now considered a universe jumping being. This is why she plays a roll in Lil Meg meeting Page and Twist despite not technically belonging in their universe.

Tove and Fluff have been friends since 7th grade.

Draca likes all meat EXCEPT for turkey, for some reason. Nobody knows why but that's the ONLY meat she won't eat. She is why ham is present at family dinners during this universe's version of thanksgiving.

Yes, they have a different version of thanksgiving in this world.

Lee, Hunter's daughter, plays Smash Bros and mains Kirby.

She has also completed every run in Undertale. Including all the neutral endings.

Fluff likes musicals. Her current favourite is The Lightning Thief musical. Totally not just me projecting on my own characters

Draca struggled with her sexuality for a while because she was never introduced to the concept of sexuality (not her mom's fault, you can't expect a dragon to think it's important to specify. Her mom is very supportive.)

Probably cursed but in this universe the Cats musical is called Humans and Humans (2019) is just as cursed as Cats (2019).

Fluff makes great smoothies.

Hunter has a Reddit account SOLELY because he frequents r/roastme. He's very well known there.

Lee has TONS of Worms-on-strings. She sells them for two dollars a worm at school. She has multiple packs of thirty sitting in her closet.

Fluff loves buying succulents. She has three on her nightstand.

While Fluff has a green thumb, Draca has a black thumb of death. She can't even water a plant without killing it.

Draca is lactose intolerant.

Which is a real shame because she loves cheesecake.

Fluff's tail gets REALLY heavy after a shower and she spends 30 minutes after showering using a blow dryer on it.

Lee has Minecraft pajamas. Tons of them. More than just the Enderman onesie.

Amari has a tiktok account with 10k followers.

Hunter does his best to be a good dad to Lee. He goes all out on birthday decorations and themes.

The Boone-Kless family get together once a month for DnD. Draca's mom hosts for the atmosphere, she also roleplays the bbeg because it hits different when a 50 foot long dragon is the one monologuing.

Lee has ADHD and uses fidget toys and sensory stuff.

Page loves trail mix.

There is literally no reason for twist to not have an arm I just decided why not and gave them a floating hand and no arms. Their twin sister is perfectly normal.

Oh yeah they have a twin sister.

While uncle Alistair could have raised the Boone kids, he was already dealing with 2 year old Adya and Twist so he didn't want an infant and a six year old to worry about.

The Boone kids were raised by grandma and grandpa Uroe instead.

Fluff was 4 and Hunter was 9 when they found Claymore and his little crash site. (I'll talk about Claymore's story in a separate post.)

Lee WILL talk your ear off about her special interests.

Despite everyone in this universe being furries, pets do still exist. It's like a monkey-human situation.

Fluff wants a pet snake.

Both Fluff and Page are eggnog monsters. During the holidays, it's best to get your cup before they even know it's in the house or you won't get any.

Draca is a great cook. Fluff on the other hand, is better at baking.

Page and Fluff bond over baking.

As much as she loves the latte art Fluff can do, Lee is no longer allowed more than one (1) cup of coffee a week.

Nobody knows why Hunter and Fluff's parents had a hit on them. It's a cold case.

Hunter has nightmares about his parents.

Hunter made some mistakes as a teen and as a result, is a single dad. Lee's mom wasn't a nice person. He blames himself.

Draca can breathe fire but she doesn't use it often. When she gets tired, little puffs of smoke come out of her nose.

Switching universes for a sec, the largest age gap between the Test Subjects is 3 years (Sty 13, Carmen 16)

The youngest known subject was 9 but the "researchers" felt like they were too annoying and stubborn to deal with.

The current youngest known subject is 12. They are not central to the story. If it's any consolation, the Test Subjects do end up busting out the others eventually.

The Test Subjects were captive for 2 years. Adam was 13. Cam was 13. Sty was 10 (and a half!).

After busting out; Adam, Cam, and Sty helped Carmen out. As a result, freeing Julie as well.

Julie is an asshole and never gets redeemed in any way. She manipulated and took advantage of Carmen and deserves what she gets.

Not a single main character in The Test Subjects is straight. Not one.

Adam is aro ace.

Cam is an ace lesbian.

Sty is a demi boy (they/them and he/him) and gay.

Carmen is a lesbian.

Julie is.... Well.... She's Julie. She doesn't care. She's pan, I guess.

Cam spent MONTHS stumbling around before Adam and Sty just went "nope, we are GETTING you a cane"

The "researchers" didn't give two shits about the subjects comfort or pain. They'd regularly perform horrible stitching and this resulted in them just saying "if it bothers you so much, fix it yourself".

Basically the subjects performed surgery on each other to PROPERLY stitch up whatever transplants they had.

They also bandaged them poorly, so the subjects would have their "roommates" fix it.

The rooms they were kept in had one "bed" that they either fought over or took turns on.

They weren't kept in the best condition is what I'm saying.

Carmen is the mom friend of the group.

If I could draw it right, Carmen would have a lip piercing. We'll have to settle for earrings for now.

On the topic of piercings, Draca would definitely have an eyebrow piercing if her scales didn't get in the way.

Speaking of Draca, she was a very rebellious teenager. One time she graffitied a huge green dragon on the side of a building that cut down a ton of trees in front of her mom's cave.

Speaking of Draca's mom, she's bisexual and currently dating a Sapper named Trix.

Back to the dnd thing, here are their most played classes.

Draca tends to play barbarians or paladins. Real tank-y classes.

Fluff plays druid or sorcerer.

Claymore likes playing bard.

Hunter tends to go for rangers.

Twist likes playing a wild mage.

Page prefers wizards or warlocks.

When they let her play, Lee plays a Cleric.

Mipos, Draca's mom, never told Draca what kind of dragon they are.

Lee decorates her room with stickers and posters.

These are the Boone-Kless fam's current PCs

#judy talks #judy's art #judy's ocs #headcanons #headcanon dump #canon facts #ocs #oc #original character #ask to tag #original characters #original story

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