#as much as i enjoy shipping sometimes i just want normal platonic shit

[immarainbowpatooie]

Author: sorry to disappoint, but there will be no romance or smut in this fic

Me:

[xserpx]

morse for the ask game?

How I feel about this character?

(Caveating this with the fact I haven't yet watched Inspector Morse, so this is only about Endeavour.)

Normally I'm not at all a fan of whump and I don't like feeling sad for well-meaning characters who are hurt repeatedly through (mostly) no fault of their own, but I really love Morse's brand of melancholia. The way he struggles to deal with change is too damn real, I'm a sucker for characters who struggle to voice their feelings and whose anxiety causes them to say nothing, because bitch me too. I also like that he's shy but it's kind of a selective shyness? Like if you catch him at the right moment or say a certain thing, he can be very snappish and outspoken and even funny, but then in those (incredibly important!) moments where he feels truly vulnerable, he just clams up, and it's heartbreaking and delicious to watch.

It's also undeniable that he is a massive prick sometimes. His treatment of women, his pretentiousness, there are moments when I want to slap him upside the head and I'm like you deserve this shit buddy! Monica my beloved, she deserved so much better from him. As much as he craves deeper connections with people and as much as I really want him to find a place to belong and settle down, it's so clear why he can't, why he shouldn't, and it's so deep rooted that in a way if he actually made a more concerted to change and do better he'd pretty much be a different person. And I like that the show never compromises on providing answers or catharsis for his struggles. Change happens, that's life, and there's often no way to deal with it that doesn't hurt.

I also love his dark academia style and the way it's grounded in finding meaning/belonging. It's not that it doesn't give him a sense of superiority at times, but like... that was his rebellion in the face of anti-intellectualism and abuse at home, and in a way I feel like he's earned the right to that pretentiousness. I think it dilutes some of the intimidating effect that opera and classics and poetry can have - some people listen to the Beatles, he listens to Wagner, one thing isn't "better" than another - but without binning it off entirely so that we still get to enjoy the commentary on classism. Plus watching him school the Oxford dons is always fun :P.

All the people I ship romantically with this character?

Romantically, hmm... The trouble is I end up feeling sorry for either Morse himself or whatever woman he's got his eye on at the time!

I love Joan and Morse, and I'd love for them to work things out, but the more time passes the less and less suited they seem to be. It's one of those relationships that's more about yearning than it is about getting together. They struggle to communicate and they're constantly miserable. He puts her on a pedestal because of her family, and Joan likes him because he's an enigma, and they can't move past that. But at the same time, fanfic exists for a reason, and I still love the yearning despite it all.

I'm not sure if I ship it romantically per se, but Max is another one where I feel like they could be more than friends, they're very Sherlock and Watson (and this fic by gaytobymeres is so good I love it). That scene with Morse and Max having tea in Max's garden is one of my favourites in the series, and I want that life for Morse so badly! Literalllyyy at the end of Exeunt I was like dude just move in with Max!! He'll never leave Oxford! He'll come along to your choral recitals! You have way more interests in common than any of your girlfriends have thus far! And he's lonely too, bless him ;w;.

My non-romantic OTP for this character?

I don't think there's a single character I don't ship Morse with platonically?? All I want in the world is a pub quiz fic featuring all of Cowley CID (and Trewlove) but I'm not clever or patient enough to write it. I wish we had more teamwork episodes tbh, and I think that's the best thing about seasons 5 & 6 (as dissipated as CID is at the start, that just makes them coming back together all the more heartwarming).

Morse & Thursday are of course the freaking bedrock of the show, they're just insanely good and I genuinely want them to be together forever. As much as he misses Joan at the end, I really want a happy ending where Thursday and Morse can stay together. At the same time, what with the whole men in the 60s reinforcing one another's emotional repression, I kind of wonder what would've happened if Thursday had been able to steer Morse in a different direction, and if it would have had a knock-on effect with helping Morse express his feelings for Joan and maybe end up somewhere better. But their characters are so intertwined it's hard to separate out the what-ifs. I do think Thursday had more of an impact on Morse than Morse did on Thursday, but you could maybe chalk that up to age. Leopards don't change their spots, etc. Still... lamenting lost potential is what grief is.

I'm also a huge fan of Morse & Trewlove tbh, he's so relaxed around her?? He tells her stuff he never tells anyone else?? They fake marry?? Ridiculously sweet. They share the trait of being incredibly dedicated and detailed in their work, and it bleeds over into a genuine appreciation for one another that they don't really have with any of their other colleagues (save for maybe Trewlove & Bright, another fantastic platonic OTP in my book). I also can see them being friends w bennies but I def don't ship them romantically.

My unpopular opinion about this character?

Not sure if I have one tbh. I haven't been here long but I generally think the wider fandom has it right about most things. Maybe not including Jakes as some brand of OTP? I feel bad because I love Peter, I just don't see him and Morse being particular friends any more than Morse and Jim are tbh.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Um, happiness. Just, all the happiness. I wish he could communicate better. I wish he'd had a better childhood. I wish his house hadn't been burgled and that he could still listen to Rosalind Calloway without taking emotional damage. I wish he hadn't been beaten down and that he could feel secure and safe, and have a fulfilled life outside of work. Great tragedies always keep the happy ending in sight, and Endeavour does that incredibly, painfully, well.

If I had to choose something specific to have happened in the show, I guess I would have liked to see more of Joyce. I'm fascinated by their relationship and I really loved every cameo from Morse's past that we saw, plus episodes like Cartouche with cousin Carol. Tbf I have heard that Joyce shows up more in Inspector Morse, so... 👀

[the-invisibility-bloke]

O01 harry/teddy!!

...Hello, I see you’ve found the key to my heart.

-

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when I started shipping it if I did: Sometime early this year, early enough that I was compelled to write them for Cest Fest, and now I want to write them forever. All credit to the legendary LQT (whom I’m far too shy to tag) for making me fall in love with them.

my thoughts: NO THOUGHTS JUST HAPPY TEARS. Ok but. They’re both war orphans for fuck’s sake, yay bonding, so I think they healed each other after the war. Teddy needed to be cared for and I imagine it was very therapeutic for Harry to provide that stable, unconditional love that he himself had missed in those formative years. And he was around just often enough that Teddy never saw him as a parent but always Cool Older Harry, so of course he idolized him since birth and was crushing on him the second he hit puberty.

What makes me happy about them: I started this in all caps, then told myself I would be normal. But god, they just get each other in a way that transcends age, like Sirry but, less problematic. I think Teddy keeps Harry young and grounded, even platonically before anything happens, I see their dynamic as like... built on inside jokes and knowing looks and unparalleled understanding that neither experiences with anyone else. Laughing about dumb shit to the point of falling over each other on the sofa like fucking teenagers (which, Teddy is, but), and it's a bit bemusing to outsiders because Harry is so serious most of the time, he has to be, most of us HC him with a pretty stressful job for much of Teddy’s growing-up, and Teddy is the counterbalance to that. He’s the one who just sees Harry, not as Head Auror or Minister for Magic or Professor Potter or Dad or Husband but as... Harry. Just Harry. And unlike Harry’s family, Teddy has no requirements or expectations for him. He just wants Harry’s love. And his massive trunk of a schlong.

What makes me sad about them: Nothing. This is my one wholesome ship and they are unfiltered sunshine. Except, ok, how guilty Harry feels initially and how hard he works to repress his attraction, because godfather and duty and bullshit, but Tedward will cure him of that. With his dimpled smile and his perky little booty and his titty piercings that everyone seems to have agreed upon. (And possibly with the assistance of Draco, who is delightfully free of Potter’s terribly unbecoming ethical quandaries, thank you.) But yeah, no sadness, unless Harry’s still married when they hook up or when his feelings finally clock him over the back of the head, so raise a glass for angst, but he has to divorce eventually!

things I look for in fanfic: This is a ship where I prefer them both to be of age. I enjoy reading darker versions of Harry, but my personal HC is that he would never pursue an underage relationship with Teddy because: a) Harry prefers an equal balance of power, someone who can challenge him and match him. All canon indicates he doesn’t want to have power over anyone; and b) He’s come to realize over the years that his relationship with Sirius, despite it being everything he wanted, was actually quite problematic and he was far too young and that’s what compounded the trauma of Sirius’ death to the point that it rewired how Harry approached relationships and he’s never fully recovered. So tl;dr my main preference is that Teddy is of age and Harry isn’t groomy. I also love the trope of Teddy going away for awhile after school and then coming home, and Harry, poor dense Harry, is like oh dear oh shit he's quite horribly shaggable.

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Nope. Nope. These two are endgame, but I’m happy to add Draco to the mix. Worse case, Teddy might go for James Sirius but I feel like it would only be because he’s the closest thing to Harry. :‘( So, nope. Only Tedrarry OT3 or some polycule of Drarry/Scorbus/Teddy. Or... Sirius Lives AU and... yeah, I don’t know, it’s basically a testosterone commune at this point. Multishipping is hard.

My happily ever after for them: Ride or die, they grow old together. I think Harry would wait a long ass time before proposing and never pressure him into commitment because a) he’s a bit broken when it comes to relationships and b) he wants him to feel free to explore life/others, even though the thought of him with anyone else literally shatters what’s left of his soul, but he doesn’t want Teddy to sacrifice any opportunities for him, wants him to be sure. Really fucking sure. Also Draco comes inside at some point.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: Harry’s the big spoon by default but Teddy is spoiled, he’ll climb all over him, cuddle him however and whenever he wants like a cat, and Harry’s such a pushover for this boy, he’ll let him. Let him do anything. Always has.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: Quidditch, spending time with family, and they like to go camping. I think camping is when it started, at least that’s how I’m going to write it: for Teddy’s birthday, Harry asks what he wants and they talk about maybe traveling somewhere, and camping comes up kind of as a joke, but Ted actually loves the idea and they end up in the Forest of Dean so Harry can sort of overwrite that part of his life and create new (better) memories there. And boy, does he ever. [Discord insanesmirk emote.]

[skittlespizza]

TF2 Mercs as the Crane Wives Songs/An Analysis of All the Mercs

This one is going to be a long one, but as is customary with my fandoms, I will be assigning characters songs from the Crane Wives discography. I won't be going lyric by lyric explaining why it relates to the character as it will make the pacing and general setup of this post awkward, I'll just highlight the lyrics that matter.

I will be sticking to their canon personalities. I will be avoiding as much fanon interpretation as possible, and will be avoiding shipping content & common headcanons. It's nice to re-engage with canon media as a nice refresh for interpretations and headcanons.

SCOUT- Take me to War

Take me to War is about anger and fighting. As a child, Scout found himself last to fights and oftentimes had to watch from the sidelines as his brothers got to fight. And he didnt. He was too small. But being small had an advantage, he was able to run.

I've earned myself a reputation/ That my bark is much worse than my bite/ But I keep snapping at Goliath's hands/ With all of my tiny might

This first stanza summarizes Scout, I feel, quite well. Scout talks shit, he's small and can't follow up with the shit he talks, but he talks shit nonetheless.

Dress me in red and throw your roses/ And I'll rankle the beasts with words/ It's a graceless dance of epithets/ We learn to make someone hurt

Scout doesn't look all that scary, that unassuming, but he's tough as nails and despite being cowardly, will stand and help when needed.

All of the words I've swallowed/ All of the sharp things I've kept in my mouth/ I am always bleeding out

This lyric specifically highlights how sometimes words can be more cruel than actions. The mercs all throw insults while on the battlefield, but remember that Scout is the closest thing to a normal boy on that battlefield. He can take literal assassins and killers head on- despite being so young and "normal." We can assume that his sharp tongue would translate quite poorly in normal conversation as being surronded by the mercs sort of. Fucks up your personality.

I'll be the sweetest thing to ever scare you/ Give me a fight I can't resist/ Give me something to break with my fists/ Take me to war/ Oh, honey, I dare you

Scout is a sweet, welcoming small town Boston boy with a heart of gold. Underneath it all, is a violent and teasing killer who, much like his teammates, enjoys violence and hurting people. I feel like this is something that's underutilized when it comes to Scout. He's so young, has a family and future and yet is so easily turned to violence. Take Scout to War, he dares you.

SOLDIER - Little Soldiers

No, I didn't just choose the song because of the title. I struggled immensely when it came to Soldier. I had a general idea, going in, of what everyone's character song will be. With Soldier? The Crane Wives songs deal with deep character incatracies and such, Soldier lacks that, at least on the surface. This song, I feel, represents the friendship he has with RED Demo. His loyalty to his friend and his love for him. This song has the word love in it, but I want to avoid any shipping content in this analysis so it's accessible to everyone. Love can be platonic.

On the broken backs of all the words we spared/ Like little soldiers in the trenches/ It was a march we made towards ruin and despair/ But we held hands all the while

Being forced to kill your best friend over and over is difficult. Fighting, sparring, on the battlefield, yet close friends and confidants outside of it. Holding hands with someone who killed you, it's cruel in a way. For two friends to have to kill over and over. Yet, they continue this friendship despite it all.

Beneath the table you would offer up my bones/ And all the dogs would lick your fingers

How are you supposed to badmouth your best friend? He's supposed to be your enemy, offering up all the parts of your friend that hurts, and you have to be fine with everyone believing you hate him.

We didn't give up, we wouldn't dare surrender/ It was an honest loss

Despite the Administrator forcing them apart, they'd never surrender their loyality to one another. They're loyal to each other before her.

PYRO - Daydreamer

Like I said, I'm trying to stick to canon as much as possible. In canon, Pyro is not that... well, complex. I myself have many headcanons for them, but canon only. Daydreamer is a song about someone who gets stuck in their own head quite a bit, which suits Pyro and their Pyrovision.

Two steps forward and one step back/ I’ll take a one-way ticket anywhere/ It’s not over, this is only a setback/ We’ll just have to move a little bit faster now, faster now

Pyro is two steps forward, one step back. They do something amazing, then do something childish. They balance a fine line between absolutely insane and genius.

Daydreamer, you’re falling behind (falling behind, falling behind)/ I’ll get there in my own time

Pyro... isn't really sure nor is aware of what's going on. And you know what? It works for them. This one is far shorter than any other due to the length of the song being short and not having stuff to analyze as Pyro is rather simple. And sometimes simple is good.

DEMO - Keep you Safe

I knew I wanted to do this song as soon as I reread Demo's backstory. Keep you Safe is about waiting and regrets. One thing Demo is good at is waiting. Waiting for the perfect time to strike or waiting for his parents haha. Demo was abandoned as a kid, and was done so because he needed to hone his skills on his own. Honestly Demo had one of the worst childhoods, killing his parents and losing an eye is not an easy thing for any kid. No wonder he's an alcoholic.

When I was a child/ My nerves ran wild/ When I watched my friends/ Rise to the tops of the trees/ With the risk of fall I never climbed at all/ Every day I told myself “I’m not ready”

Demo felt safer creating bombs, he rather create than socialize. He was never ready. Demo had a shitty childhood and prefered to wait out the dangers instead of engage.

My daddy always said/ “Nothing worth doing comes easy”/ Time is not your friend/ Time is not your remedy

His parents believed in toughing it out. Believed in fighting and believed in working hard, to the point that it was borderline neglectful and absusive. (Again, abanonding your child so that he could find his skills on his own is fucked up). Demo learned the hard way the world is not kind, and sometimes you need to take action. This one is shorter, but I struggle a lot trying to talk about Demo without delving into my headcanon and personal intpretation too much. I'll cut this one short.

ENGINEER - Canary in a Coal Mine

I struggled A LOT with Engie. I reread all his story as much as I could but could not find a matching song, so I had to stretch this to fit quite a bit. Bear with me. I chose Canary in a Coal Mine because of his relationship with the Administrator, and how she would be just about dead without him.

You and I are friends of empty graves, black air and black, black lungs/ Am I the only thing that keeps you safe when the light is gone?

The Administrator is essentially an empty grave with black lungs, has been through a lot of shit. He is the only reason she is alive, he's and his knowledge is the only reason the war continues. Without Engie's ability to create, there wouldn't be anything. He's the only thing keeping her safe when the light is gone.

Feed me promises, keep my heart well/ I'll sing you songs until the darkness does recede

With promises of clearing his "old debt", he's willing to do whatever to feed his god complex. I apologize for the short one this is, I struggled heavily with him much like I did with Pyro.

HEAVY - Hard Sell

Heavy is the anchor in his family, he's always been a protector and always been the worker. When he was younger, maybe he wondered if things would get easier once he got bigger and stronger. Heavy uses his strength to protect by being violent.

I'm trying to make something of myself/ My better days, I go buy the hard sell/ But I feel like I'm working with barbed wire and moth wings/ 'Cause I can't really get a hold of many things.

Maybe as a child, Heavy had to put a lot of pressure on himself to grow. On Genius lyrics, a summary reads:

"The narrator is trying to improve themself in an aggressive matter, but they’re too rough on themselves, making them feel fragile. In being so hard on themselves, they feel like change is unobtainable."

What we do know about Heavy is this: Heavy has always had to fight and protect. He's probably had to grow up early, and he's tough on himself. To be stronger. To protect his sisters and family. He cares about them more than anything and is willing to push himself to do anything for them. This can also be interpreted in the sense that he works extraordinarily hard, physically, to protect people. Pushing himself past his bodily limits, as seen in End of the Line.

Is it me? Is it really just me?/ Does everybody have it together or are we all pretending?

I don't think Heavy is perfectly mentally sane, but he has to be essentially a calming anchor around him or they'd probably also fall apart. The rest of the song repeats mostly, but that's the reason I chose Hard Sell for Heavy.

MEDIC - Ribs

Medic is an interesting character to me. I knew I wanted to do this song due to the religious themes in it (as he talks to satan), and also because of the general themes of innards. KEEP IN MIND, THIS TALKS ABOUT THE AMORALITY OF MEDIC. I AM NOT SAYING HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT HIS TEAM, HE DOES. But he is also amoral.

Marrow made a wife of Eve/ But no one gave up a rib for me and mine/ My hearts did expose to the elements/ Calloused and untouched by a man's design

Medic isn't a man of god, he's not pure or holy. He's untouched by morality and what is good or bad. He's pure, unadulterated curiousity and mania. His heart was exposed to what we can assume is the worst of humanity, and thus all morals were thrown out the window.

Oh, my ugly organs/ How lucky we are

Whereas one may pity Medic for his insanity and lack of moral compass, he sees this as an absolute win. He's lucky he's untouched by innocence.

Oh, my savage empire/ How lucky we are/ Never to be moved by the words of a liar

He's reinstating he's once again lucky for being a dealer with Satan rather than god. He knows God won't be able to give him what he wants, Satan? Satan can. Satan will. He will become immortal one way or another.

The dark doesn't frighten me/ I chose to close my eyes/ It is mine, it is mine/ The night doesn't frighten me/ I chose to let it thrive/ It is mine, it is mine

This lyric really is why I chose Ribs. The dark, evil and inhumane parts of himself is not something he chooses to hide, to close away and deny. He embraces that part of him that others may urge to hide. He is not afraid of his evil, Medic chooses it. Sometimes we forget how demented Medic is. He betrays everyone to join TFC, he brought Sniper back to life, he DECAPITATED BLU SPY AND LEFT HIM IN A FRIDGE WHILE ALIVE. Medic is evil, he's cruel and merciless but in a way that is so honest and open and endearing that exudes confidence and choice.

SNIPER - The Wolf

Sniper, I knew very early on as in media he's compared to a Wolf quite often, and the themes align well. Sniper struggles quite a bit with proving he's not a crazed gunman. That he's 100% sane and is rather a calculated killer. He's aware he's a bad person and sort of embraces it in a sort.

I am not a builder/ I’m much better at blowing things down

Sniper is a person who destroys. Destroys heads and lives specifically. He's aware of this and embraces it through his unconventional career choice.

I am not a tempest/ I light torches in my sleep/ I have gasoline in my veins/ I am always burning, burning, burning

Sniper is destructive, he's a controlled fire of sorts. A killer, but not an insane one but that intense passion he has for his job, seen through his voicelines, burn despite the controlled aspect.

I am a falling axe/ I am a sharpened knife/ I am a poison asp/ I am a risk to your life

Sniper is a highly dangerous man and a bad person, a wolf in sheeps clothing of sorts as he's not that dangerous looking. On the inside, he's a cold heartless killing machine, at least when he's on the job.

Can it be/ Can it be easy for once/ Cause I’m no good at being kind to myself/ Or anyone

This part will be making a few assumptions: we can guess that Sniper has some sort of insecurity as having your parents constantly berate you for your job probably stings. Especially when you love them more than anything. Wanting to crave that approval so so badly, yet struggling so much to connect with people as he's on the job 24/7. He's not kind to himself- or anyone else. He's a prowling beast looking for his next kill, not some schoolboy making friends.

A single video made me fall in love with Sniper as a character and its because of his relationship with his parents. It's eight years old but holds up to this day. Here.

SPY - Empty Page

This is the reason I made this post. Spy is, and will always be, a nobody person. He doesn't have a stable identity due to his career and even when telling his son that he is his father, he can't show his face. Being a spy has mental health repercussions when it comes to your identity, and this has always fascinated me about Spy.

I’m just a ten cent copy/ Of people far more advanced than me/ Every thought that I’ve ever had/ Could be ripped from a magazine

Instantly, you can tell why this song is Spy. Spy is a ten cent copy of people, he's a copycat, a liar. He literally steals the identity of people to play a role, he isn't a person. He's a blank canvas to LITERALLY project onto!

Cut me a path, and I will follow it/ Draw me a line, and I’ll avoid it/ I’m nothing if not obedient

Spy is an obedient worker who will do anything and everything he's told to... again. It's Spy.

I am an empty page/ A muddled shade of paint/ I am a light that’s burning out

Spy is an amalgamation of all the people he has had to be in the past, he is an empty page, he is a color of paint that in unique because he's people clipped together from magazines. Spy isn't a person, he doesn't even have a name. He is JUST. A. SPY.

Years of imitating mastery/ Only made me a better thief

Again. He's an imitation of people who he's needed to be. Despite him maybe being the main reason I made this post, this song is so straightforward and blatant in why it's Spy, I can't add a lot of commentary.

BONUS: SPY & SCOUT - Never Love an Anchor

Never Love an Anchor, despite the dozens of animatics and popular belief, is not about romance. It's about family. The romantic interpretation is so.. upsetting since the song literally cannot be romantic due to some lyrics but whatever. Anyways, Spy's POV to Scout. I know I said I would only highlight the important lyrics, but this one is a special case.

On some level, I think I always understood/ That these hands of mine were clumsy, not clever/ And I tried to do the best that I could/ But try as I might, I couldn't bring myself to hold you

Spy has hands meant for lockpicking and killing, not holding a child close and making a family. God did he love Scout, but he couldn't dare look his child in his face knowing that beneath the facade of a father, he was an empty shell. Spy has hands meant for murder, not creating.

It's a secret I keep tucked inside my chest/ With this heart of mine that's guilty, not remorseful/ There is love that doesn't have a place to rest/ But it would have buried you if it had settled on your shoulders

Spy will never tell Scout the truth. He cannot, will not or will ever be able to because of his cowardice and for Scout's safety. He doesn't regret leaving, he knows it was for the better, but god does he feel so much guilt and shame for leaving. For being a Spy. He would've gotten Scout and his family killed if he stayed with them, and he didn't want to have to bury his own child. If he loved, he'd hurt.

There are times when I still wonder about you/ You are someone I have loved, but never known/ And you'll never see the reasons I had/ For keeping my claws away when they were close enough to hurt you

He sees Scout everyday, seeing the son he never had become a boy strong and agile. He wants to know about Scout, he wants to be there, but can never tell him why he couldn't hold him. Why Spy had to leave.

I am selfish, I am broken, I am cruel, I am all the things they might have said to you/ Do you ever think of me and my two hands?/ And wonder why they never soothed your fevers?/ And wonder why they never tied your shoes?/ And wonder why they never held you gently?/ And wonder why they never had the chance to lose you?

Spy is a bad person, and he hoped Scout wouldn't end up the same. It's not too late for Scout to turn his life around. But Spy doesn't have that right— the right to act like a father. He never held Scout, never raised him, never took care of him, never taught him. Never helped him. He never had a chance to lose his son out of fear of losing him. It was a lose lose situation, but at least this way Scout isn't dead.

God. This song.

BONUS: PAULING & THE ADMINISTRATOR - The Moon Will Sing

The moon will sing a song for me/ I loved you like the sun/ Bore the shadows that you made/ With no light of my own/ I shine only with the light you gave me/ I shine only with the light you gave me

Pauling's entire being is centered about the Administrator and it's incredibly sick and codependant. Pauling is nothing without the woman who gave her everything, so she will have to work endlessly to make her happy, right?

Ending Thoughts

Woo! That was a long one. It took 5 days to write this all due to me rereading all the source medias several times. I hope you enjoyed this, please leave your thoughts on this. I like to reread the source medias of my fandoms at least once a year to refresh my headcanons and such. This was that.

[beanghostprincess]

I am so delighted to see we can send platonic ship and that you are insane about it!! (same here i love it so so much, tahat all my life) so what about Nami&Robin or/and Nami&Zoro

there are so many people asking me my opinions i can't believe y'all actually care about what i have to say ilysm <33

nami/robin: i love them and i wish they had more scenes together in canon :(( i love that they share a room and their beds are literally next to each other. i'm sure that they cuddle when they sleep. no doubt about it. robin reads out loud while nami does her nightly routine with makeup and stuff and then they talk for a bit before falling asleep. i love that they're the only girls in the crew but their role isn't just that. they both keep the guys in place but robin has that silly, satiric dark side that scares nami sometimes, and nami has that impulsive, thief side that robin loves too. and kjsdcjksdnjkasd they make me ill. they have girl nights. they go shopping. they talk shit about people together. they eat sanji's food together. nami talks about how much she misses her girlfriend (vivi, i miss you too. come back) and robin comforts her but instantly nami complains about her "not getting it" because she has her husband on the damn ship!!!!! then nami goes and hugs robin back again. i think they're the smartest and brightest girls ever and they deserve all the love. neither of them has ever had real friends and now that they have the chance to live freely, they finally can hang out together. robin is older and tbh i think she sees nami as this cute, young, brilliant girl with so so much potential. and nami sees robin as, like, this older, mature woman that's also her bestie and that's awesome!!! a lot of people ship them romantically but i personally see them as besties or sisters ngl. i think robin is still getting used to having friends like a normal person and nami teaching her how to enjoy life is so,,, so beautiful,,, they also have their own shenanigans and i need them to have wayyy more scenes together c'mon!!!

nami/zoro: i am so not shutting up about them i apologize- i love them. i am obsessed with them. we need to talk more and more about them. "they're overrated" they should be. they deserve it. i fucking love everything about these two. so, so much... the thing that makes me like them it's probably the fact that they're part of the romance dawn trio, and i'm very nostalgic about those three. they're all important to luffy, of course, all of his nakama are. but... there's just something about zoro and nami being the first ones that makes me insane. they're the ones that had to deal with luffy together when they first met, and ever since, they've just been sooo chaotic. i'm happy opla gave them scenes together (uhhh not so much the fact that people see them romantically. it's obvious they wanted to make them romantic. please don't, netflix, i'm watching you) because they mean so much to me! they have this lesbian/gay solidarity and hostility (yes, at the same time) that i LOVE. i'm obsessed with zoro being all edgy-wannabe (he's just quiet lmfao his dramatic gay ass wanting to be a dark swordsman is so funny) and nami like "??? shut up you're just dumb". the fact that they argue and zoro complains about her manipulative behavior but still always helps her and saves her every time,,, that's so,,, i love them. i know we all say zoro is luffy's guard dog, but that's not true. zoro is luffy's cat and nami's guard dog. he stays behind nami protectively with a dark stare and nobody dares to approach her bc they know they'll die if they try to hurt his navigator. he'd never admit it out loud, tho, but he cares for her an insane amount. and she loves him too. thinking about them cuddling when it's too cold and zoro's just the perfect pillow!! zoro braiding nami's hair!!! nami helping him clean his swords!! they look after the other all the time,, and they are the ones that know luffy the best, of course they're going to be the first ones to talk things out together if something's wrong with him. also, my zolu shipper heart needs to say that nami would be the first one to find out about them. in every universe. i love them.

[iholli]

👑 Holli / Rat King || 24+ || Any pronouns || ocean loving ficto ace rat || completely on my gaming nonsense

heya! call me Holli or Rat! this is my home away from home, so welcome to my blog & I hope you enjoy your stay. I mostly post ocean views and selfship content. don't like, don't read! here's the rundown of the place 💖🐀

Main timeline:

not comfortable sharing but selfshippers can still interact!

#heart of mars || Rat King & J'onn J'onzz, DCAU

playlist 🌌🐀

Alternate timelines:

okay sharing with other selfshippers, canon depends!

#💜💖💙 || Rat King, Donatello Hamato, & Leonardo Hamato, ROTTMNT

playlist 🐢🐀

#ratstatic || Rat King & Vox, Hazbin Hotel

playlist 📺👑

#king of hearts || Rat King & Remy "Gambit" LeBeau, X-Men

#PREDATOR/PREY || Rat King & Megalo Don, Fortnite

playlist 🦈🐀 [cover photo]

Other tags:

#venne & squeaker || Rat King & Wally West platonic ficto posts

#ratio broadcast || Rat King & Alastor qpp / platonic ficto posts

#ficto tag || unspecific ficto posts

#ficto tag familial || Justice League / Hamato Clan / assorted Hazbin Hotel familial ficto posts

#ratkingdraws || personal art tag

#ratkingdiscourse || profic / anti anti & other discourse posts

#happy place 💙 / #oceancore || daily scheduled ocean aesthetic posts

Fandom check-in:

ROTTMNT || Donnie simp. Leo enjoyer. || make no mistake, found family is my all time troupe, that's why I'm here. but if you ask me about Leotello,,,

DC || Justice League: The Animated Series & Justice League Unlimited, and all affiliated series || My Adventures with Superman || Green Lantern: The Animated Series || I'm very much a DCAU fanatic, but I enjoy lots of other DC content as well!

Fortnite || Wastelander || Montague, Artemis, Hades, & Megalo Don supremacy || I still don't know all the lore, but man, I love this game || find me more actively about FN on Twitter or add me on Epic @ R47K1NGG4M3S

Marioverse / Luigi's Mansion || Luigi my beloved. normal about King Boo. || if it exists I probably ship it. Booigi. Bowuigi. all three. I'm there.

Invader Zim || ZaDr || RaPr || Almighty Tallest stan account

Hazbin Hotel & Helluva Boss || Moxxie & Millie enjoyer || RadioStatic || Alastor. Vox. Queen Bee. back in my original era now that Hazbin s1 is out 👏

MCU || Octogoblin my beloved || really not here anymore, however Loki is part of Rat King lore, so feel free to talk about him to me c:

More to know:

I'm very chill, I love notif spam, and it makes my day to get asks! feel free to throw anything to my inbox-- ask me about Rat King lore, talk to me about my f/os, whatever you wanna know or just wanna say bc I do enjoy chatting too c: it just takes me a while to answer stuff sometimes bc I'm very forgetful and overthink ✨ everything ✨👏

this is a pro fiction, anti censorship space. I'm not looking for a fight, I'm just here to yell about my favs, and personally I'm not much for problematic troupes, but I will always support the right for people to do what they want in fiction. tag your shit & be nice. my ship is not your ship and that's okay.

I'm not a big NSFW person, I will never reblog anything I feel is graphically explicit but I use safety tags just in case as I see the need. keep an eye out for #suggestive and / or #nsfw. minors are fine to hang around my blog-- I just expect you to be responsible and block the tags you need.

AI thieves will not be tolerated in any capacity. come within a mile of my blog and you will be reported and blocked on sight. if I ever accidentally reblog AI work please let me know so I can remove it.

thanks for stopping by! if you'd like some tunes for your Tumblr browsing, feel free to check out my Spotify. have a great day 💖🐀

banners courtesy of @lovelycureaestetic 💜💙 & @senseichaos-thedetention 💙❤️

[safetypinned]

RULES.

— ABOUT.   Mun is 35+. ANYTHING SHIP OR SMUT RELATED IS A NO-GO for people under the age of 21. If you are easily triggered, this may not be a blog for you. Mature or potentially triggering subjects present ranging from mental illness, abuse, abandonment, blood, gore, sexual situations, gas lighting, mental manipulation and control, violent imagery, parental loss, horror themes, murder, torture, suicide and suicidal ideation, self destructive behavior, loss of limbs, religious themes, demonic possession, questionable intent, addiction, and mentions of drug and heavy alcohol use.

— PRIVATE / MUTUALS ONLY / DNI.  Homophobic, transphobic, racist, Tru.mp/Put.in supporting (this is a zero tolerance policy), hating people based on their religious beliefs, what they write between two adult characters and generally crappy shit like that isn’t welcome on my dash! That said, I'm friendly to anyone who wants to approach and be nerds together. Just don't be a jerk. :D

— CANON DIVERGENT.   Sam's bi here. He, also, carries highly subject to addictive behaviors like any recovering addict. Demon blood will always be a weakness in the pit of his stomach. It is always in his veins (it's in his DNA at this point) and can be sensed by those sensitive to demon blooded beings. Approach me with any questions on this! Or if you wanna plot on it! As the years go by, his blood drinking improves greatly but tendencies are there and may be used against him. He can and may slip back into his addiction. Addiction is an ugly monster and Sam's never been taught proper coping techniques. He learns them himself. Sometimes they fail. His visions, while he learns to cope better, still exist and drown out the real world on depending on the subject. He is prone to migraines and nightmares. Sam, eventually, gets several tattoos other than his anti-possession symbol. He does dabble in the pot (gasp!) now and then. As well as, more often in much later years, can partake in more than a few alcoholic beverages as an escape mechanism. Something he picked up from Dean though no where near as close to Dean in terms of alcoholism.

— SHIP AGES. I restrict age limits on fc's and characters depending on what season of Supernatural we are writing in. Sam's age range for ships can range from 22+. Post Season 4 ships will be limited to characters 25+. Post Season 7 ships will be limited to characters 30+.

— RELATIONSHIPS/KIDS/ETC.   I roll with chemistry. Highly dependent character. Canons may have various outcomes. Platonic relationships encouraged! I do not accept any oc children for Sam. Family members are HIGHLY dependent on how we vibe. ESPECIALLY Dean and John. We gotta groove, ya dig? OCs loved with plotting so we can make it stick and have all the good things! Send me your ladies! Older muses loved and adored! I won't do pregnancy plots or Sam having his own kids that aren't in the show.

— FOLLOWING.   Give me a little bit to check out your blog if you follow. I like to know your rules out of respect! If I’m following, I want to interact.

— AFFILIATES, EXCLUSIVES AND MAINS.   Accepting on a limited basis for mains and a very limited basis for exclusives. My requirements are: We must be posting together regularly and be mutuals. Affiliates will come naturally. I don't mind being approached or approaching! I, normally, keep the number of the same characters I write with down to a small amount out of personal preference!

— NAUGHTY STUFF.   I enjoy writing mature threads. But will only do so with familiar partners. If it’s not your thing? We can fade to black! I’m 10000% fine with either. I do have a sideblog where all of my spicy threads go. TAG TO BLOCK ALL CONTENT OF THAT SORT ACROSS ALL MY BLOGS IS TW OOH LA LA! 

— POST INFO & SPEED.   I match my partner. There are times when I get hella inspired write bunches. I don’t do one-liners. I use small text and one icon that is static and the graphic changes per month. I can enlarge your text if needed. Blog will fluctuate in speed. If I don’t heart your reply, I might not have seen it. Sending me a link is great. Poking me to remind me about an ask is fine!

— PLEASE NOTE.   OOC drama won’t be tolerated. Constant negativity, bullying or harassment are a strict nope. Anons are always off! Open communication regarding any issues is welcome! I don’t have hidden passwords in my rules. Nor will I send in one from yours.

— GRAPHICS.   Icon template / promos / banners / theme are exclusively for this blog by calisources. DO NOT STEAL! Icons made by me. Capped by homeofthenutty

[anti-ao3]

my experience with ao3

i joined it around 2015 mainly because of an otgw author i followed on tumblr, and since they were very active on ao3 i thought to myself, "why not?". otherwise it took me a whole year to actually post something there. since then i got quite a following for my undertale fics, and later other fandoms such as steven universe.

my fics are, in general, pretty well liked, sometimes even gaining hundreds of kudos. one even got 1k the other day. most nice comments i get are from ao3 users. even then, i never actually interact with them. i rarely reply to comments, nor do i comment myself; i mainly just bookmark the fics i like. i gradually got more wary of the users since the more i tried to consume fics there, the more messed up shit i would find. for instance, a lot of the ppl who read my ut fics were into fontcest and child/adult content, and it was the same thing for the other fandoms i wrote for.

maybe because of my general avoidance, i never had a traumatizing experience on ao3, like many have unfortunately gone through. i have gotten rude comments every now and then, but i was never caught up in grooming or something as such. even still, looking for fics used to be much worse because i wasn't aware of any filtering extensions, nor did ao3 have the "exclude" feature back then, so the great majority of fics i would find was basically pedo/incest/abuse/racist porn. when they did add the "exclude" feature a couple years ago, it became a little less disheartening - while it was still a pain having to exclude 10-20 tags just to get something normal -, but in general i never quite used ao3 to read many fics, only very niche concepts i'm personally fond of. i also always check if the author reads and/or writes any insidious content, so i'm very selective of what i read and who i follow.

the thing that made me create this account, though, was when i wrote a fma 03 fic last year and i included a tag that said "elricests and royeds have no rights and should rot". someone reported me to ao3 and they accused me of harassment, and hid my work until i got rid of the tag. i refused and posted a very heated rant against ao3, which finally got me suspended for months. in the meantime, ao3 began actively deleting works that included any tags that included "x shippers do not interact" or similar. basically, their excuse was "you have to let ppl ship whatever they want. yes, even if it's incest and pedophilia".

at first, when i was angry, i thought of deleting all my works, but after a while, i realized i didn't want to. the reason my account is still up is mainly sentimental. i've been on ao3 for 7 years now, and i did find some good fics and good ppl in there. my fics are very personal to me, so all the positive (and earned) feedback i got means very much to me. i have many fics there, some still ongoing, so i haven't had the courage to delete my account. i guess it's mainly because i never went through something traumatic there, so it's probably easy for me to have these feelings.

i've always been on a little corner on ao3, really. it means a lot to me when ppl find it and decide to stick in. but of course, ao3 has deeply disappointed me in a lot of ways. i'm only still using the site with a grain of salt. sometimes i wish i could let go, but it's really hard for me to do it. maybe one day i will, but for now, i just really wish i could have a safe space where people can enjoy platonic/familial content without any concern.

ao3 is a huge platform nowadays, and a lot of writers i follow and respect use it. i know taking it down is not easy, so i really wish there was a way for us to pressure ao3 to have better moderation - and actually ADD a blocking/muting feature.

i will always stand on the side of minorities, and i hope one day we get justice for all the harmful things ao3 and its users have done to us.

[verytiredblob]

My reviews on Manhwas

Alright so, recently I've began to fall into the great Manhwa hell, as if I didn't have enough fandoms.

But I neither have friends to chat about this with, nor a Discord chat where I can fanby about it, so I just decided to throw it in here.

These are both Manhwas I recommend and my opinions on them. If there are any spoilers, They will be striked through and in blue for anyone that wishes to avoid them (if anyone even reads this lol).

1. The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass (악녀는 모래시계를 되돌린다)

Premise: Aria was a terrible person and was sentenced to dead by being beheaded. In her final moments, she discovers her step sister, Mielle, actually manipulated her during her entire life just so she could get Aria killed. She then is beheaded, and wakes up in the past, in her child body. So now, she must work to both survive and get her revenge on her sister.

Lovely story, and my first Manhwa. The art is simply stunning, and all the characters are very flashed out and developed. Aria (MC) is the pettiest person alive and I'm here for that.

Also, I noticed a trend where, even though the manhwa has "Villainess" in the title, the MC is usually a total angel. Well, not here. Aria is egotistical and a total Diva, she has her goals and one of them is her revenge and by all that is sacred she'll get it.

Mielle is a great villain, she has grown a lot in her own pettiness and tactics since she was a child, and I really like that. Also, watching her suffer for being a terrible person is delightful.

The Male Lead (Asher) is also really cool, I like how he's both witty and friendly, and how much he truly admires Aria and her achievements.

The side characters are also pretty good, and they get a lot of focus because of their interactions with the main cast.

Again, The art is S T U N N I N G. Look at this:

Literally all panels are drawn like this or better, I'm in love.

All in all, an awesome read, 10/10, I love this a lot.

2. The Monster Duchess And Contract Princess (괴물 공작가의 계약 공녀)

Premise: Leslie's life was terrible, and always centered on her big sister, Eli. After a failed attempt of her family to grant Eli her sister's skills and knowledge, Leslie searches for the feared "Monster Duchess" in an attempt to survive.

Another one with incredible art AND incredible characters. Leslie is an absolute angel, and seeing her grow as a person is awesome.

The gender envy I feel with the Duchess is unbearable, she's utterly perfect. And the entire family is so dotting and loving and sweet, my little grinch heart can't take it.

She's perfection, really.

The plot keeps getting more and more mysterious, and I'm here for it!

I love each of the main characters a lot, and even the villains are well done and fuel your hatred.

Also, Eli Sperado and her Dad can choke on those black flames for all eternity.

Another 10/10, although I must warn anyone that wishes to read this that the translations sometimes are very spotty and messy, so it can be a bit annoying.

3. I'll be the Matriarch in this Life (이번 생은 가주가 되겠습니)

Premise: Firentia was a girl that died in Korea in her past life, and was reborn into an influential family as the illegitimate daughter of the third son. Her life was pretty terrible, with in the end, her family ending up in poverty and disgrace because of her uncles and cousins, while she was exiled from the family. After another accident, she wakes up in her past, now with a goal: Become the Lombardi matriarch and stop the other family heirs from bringing it to ruin.

Awesome art and Awesome plot number 3! This is so good, genuinely. Firentia is such an awesome plotter, and her goals and actions are very well developed.

The Male Lead is my baby and I shall protect him, and the side characters? Utterly stunning.

The twins are the cutest fucking shit, seriously. Like, look at these two?? I'm dead. Although, all the children are very, veeery cute.

I like how Firentia subtly manipulates things around her to get what she wants. It's similar to Aria, but she's much more mature and knowledgeable, and has a much less petty goal.

Guess what? 10/10. Yeah, I know, I'm terrible at grading, sue me.

4. The Twins Siblings' New Life (쌍둥이 남매의 뉴라이프)

Premise: Arien and Arjen were a pair of twins that died in Korea, and were reborn again as twins and as the Emperor's illegitimate children. Now, with only each other to trust, they must do their best to survive.

My current obsession. I really like this one. The art is not on the same level of pure Awesome like the ones before, but it's pretty good nonetheless.

The plot is pretty nice, but I must warn you: DO NOT expect them to act like adults. Honestly, just forget they're meant to be reborn in this world. They're just normal children and that's it. They act like children, and they think like children. Honestly, I think the author just wanted to make this story about them as children and their producer went and said to make them reincarnates because that Isekai shit is popular nowadays (And to justify they having memories of their newborn days). Seriously, just ignore it, the experience reading will be much better.

Other than that, the story develops nicely. The characters are all very good and the plot is very mysterious. I am holding myself back to not spoil anything, aaaaa.

There is also only one another thing that disappoints me: Arien is very clearly the MC. The story is told by her eyes and we only know what Arjen thinks or feels when he says it 9 or by subtext). I really wish it was more balanced, because they're both different people and have different perspectives, and also I really like Arjen.

I have absolutely no idea where this plot is gonna go, and honestly? I like it. It's very rare when I don't know how things are gonna develop because of other stories, so it feels very fresh.

The brothers are freaking awesome. I was so scared they were going to hate the twins and be petty, because of other manhwas that are like that, but they're so loving and sweet?? All hail these idiots. Also, Daddy is the biggest dumbass of all, this poor clueless man.

An 8/10, because of the complaints above. Still a good read, and I really like it, even with it's defects.

4. I'm A Stepmother, But My Daughter Is Just Too Cute! (계모인데 딸이 너무 귀여워)

Premise: A seamstress dies of overwork in Korea, and wakes up in the body of Abigail, the vain Queen, and the evil stepmother to the princess Blanche. Yes, It's like she stepped into the world of Snow White, and she must now do her best to live and.. Dote on Blanche with toys and dresses as much as possible?

Again with the awesome art and nice plot. Why are there so many manga with awesome art?? I'm so envious.

May all hail this crispy, delicious art.

Abigail is a whole mood, and I enjoy how she is inserted into the life of someone who had already lived and had a reputation. Her actions baffle a lot of the characters, as do her motivations, and I'm here for it.

The King has also an amazing backstory that's very tragic and yikes. I enjoy it, really. Not something you see in men's backstories that much.

Also, I'm kinda saddened by the fact the MC and the king are bound to become an actual couple. They would be such good platonic friends stuck in a political marriage. I was robbed, y'all.

Abigail greatest ambition is to get to design a dress for Blanche and have her wear it, and you know what? Good for her! Sometimes, it's good to have an MC that is not plotting against world at large.

Also, her mirror? Verite is simply perfect, I love this guy. I non-jokingly ship him with Abigail more than her with the King.

Blanche is a sweetheart, she deserves to be in my "adopted children" wall.

For now it's more of a Slice of Life than anything? But I also don't know what happens in the novels, so I'm just going to wait.

For the current lack of a grater plot, this gets a 7/10. Still pretty good and entertaining, especially for when you just don't feel like trying to understand deep plots with lots of elements.

5. Beware of the Brothers! (그 오빠들을 조심해!)

Premise: Another one of those "I lived my life and then wake up in the past." Hari was adopted by this family after the death of their only daughter, and although her parents love her, her 3 older siblings very much don't. She lives a miserable life in their hands, and when it's the night before she is to get married and finally escape her brothers, she wakes up in the past, and has to deal with them all over again.

Another nice art one, and the background characters are very nice, as is the MC.

But for me, it has a big problem. And that problem is the main ship. It's Hari with her eldest brother, Eugene. Even though they are not related and yadda yadda yadda, they were raised as such, and thus it bothers me. Also, Eugene is as plain as white bread and just as generic when seen as the Male Lead.

I ship Hari with Johan, even though I know it's not gonna happen, Ugh, the pain..

For me, the main point in this is Hari's relationship with her other siblings and the other background characters. I'm here for that wholesome sibling interaction. Her relationship with Erich, specially, is awesome. I love these two so much

It also kinda lacks a plot? Other than the relationship development and their story as a family, but again, I have no idea how they will develop this.

Also, pet peeve? Why do they keep using Oppa instead of translating it properly as brother? I get honorifics and stuff, but it's so annoying.

I give it a 6/10. Good characters and good relationships outside of the bloody incest thing, and it's a good enough way to pass the time.

There are two more that I've read, buut it's like 4am and I'm sleepy as all hell, so I'll just add it in a reblog or attached post later, and I plan on doing this for other future manhwas as well.

Do you have any recommendations or comments or just wanna talk about any of these manhwas? Hit me up!

[chokemeanakin]

Being brought up a slave (You know, one of the only professions left were human interaction is a must in a galaxy that's overrun with droids) he's probably a very physical person. That brought him a lot of issues with the Jedi, in the beginning, until Obi understood that things like a hug as a reward or an occasional hair ruffle when in a good mood were incredible motivators. They both understand that it's frowned upon so it's not v public but they have a very (platonically) touchy relationship

FUCK OKAY THATS SO CUTE

I read a fic once where it was like Anakin as a little kid, new Palawan, and he’d wake up with nightmares and then go to Obi Wan bc he used to have his mom but now he doesn’t. And Obi Wan sorta just lets him sleep in the bed and neither of them mention it when they’re awake. And I just— 🤧🤧🤧🤧

I’m such a self indulgent ‘Anakin x Touch Starved Reader’ bitch but now you’re making me want to do Touch Starved Anakin headcanons 🥺🥺🥺

(Ps it’s very late and I can barely see so sorry if there’s spelling errors)

Touch Starved Anakin x gn Reader Hc’s:

•It’s no secret Anakin is a very touchy, physical person

•At least.. it may seem that way to the other Jedi. Unlike the rest of them, Anakin grew up with a mother’s love, and maternal affection was a normal part of his life

•Cheek kisses, goodnight hugs, ruffled hair when he came in and was sandy. Out of everything he missed the most about his mother when he left Tatooine, it was the feeling of her coarse hands wiping away the grease stains on his cheeks after a long day in Watto’s junk shop.

•Really, he was probably just a normal human with a normal need for physical touch. But everyone else was so used to just not doing that, that it made him seem like the outlier.

•It’s not like there was anyone he’d want to do any of that stuff with. He used to crawl into Obi Wan’s bed as a kid whenever he had nightmares, but he grew out of that

•Still, sometimes he had the overwhelming urge to just touch someone— hold them or be held. Just feel someone’s presence right up again his, one that wasn’t through the force.

•Over time it got easier to surpress the urges.

•But then of course Obi-Wan would clasp him on the shoulder, or steady him on a rocky transport ship, or touch his arm when offering him kind words of praise after a mission gone well. And Anakin would look at the hand on his arm, long for it to stay there a little longer...

•But no. It was wrong. He was a Jedi, and Jedi are forbidden to have attachments.

•And then you came along, and everything he planned for his life flew out the window. (just like Windu oop)

•You caught on very quick how much Anakin enjoyed your touch.

•He would instantly smile if you so much as held his hand

•Every little brush of your fingers against his skin had him leaning into your touch, closing his eyes, sighing deeply

•If you smooth his bangs away from his eyes, his eyes will flutter and he’ll gravitate closer to you

•You grab his arm to get his attention and he’ll jump, and turn to you immediately

•If you hug him, he’ll hold you against him so tight like he’s afraid you’ll pull away and leave too soon

• (Absolutely lives for hugs)

•He’ll breathe you in deep and rest his chin on your head or shoulder, one hand between your shoulder blades and one hand pressing you into him by the small of your back. He’ll sway gently on his feet, and hum softly in appreciation

•Play with his hair and he’ll melt in your arms

•He will never want to admit it, and even if he does it’ll be hard for him to stutter out the explanation, but eventually he will just tell you that he loves to feel your touch. It makes him feel less alone and loved and cared for

•So you indulge him. Duh.

•Let your lips linger against his a little longer. Trace shapes into his chest when you’re lying down together. Wind your arms around his waist and rest your head against his back when he’s meditating by the window.

•Sometimes if he’s been on a mission and it’s been too long, that first initial touch is just... fireworks. He collapses into you and a little shiver wracks his body and you squeeze him tight, rub some warmth back into him

•He’ll never ever complain if you just wanna hold onto him in some way, cause he lives for that shit

•Bb needs more hugs ☺️☺️☺️

[yukipri]

Marco’s Bauble Part 8 - a One Piece Mermaid AU Text Story

Another update for Tumblr!

This work goes by On the Courtship of Monkey D. Luffy on AO3, and I’ll be updating over there tonight as well!

A quick question....do people like reading the updates here on Tumblr? Or now that it’s on AO3, would people prefer to read there? And if so, would you be okay waiting for new updates until AO3 catches up? I’m a little torn because I’m not sure if people are enjoying reading on here, and it’s quite a hassle to format for Tumblr, and it’s getting a bit difficult for me to juggle updating these stories on 3 separate platforms...

ANYWAY, in this update, Thatch has some Thoughts, and there is mention of Ace x Luffy.

Continues off of, and should be read after:

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 1

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 2

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 3

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 4

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 5

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 6

👒🐟Marco’s Bauble Part 7

~~

What are her 3 sizes?

(For the wedding dress, of course.)

"The fuck! Like I'd tell you!" Thatch roars, startling the blue gull into momentarily leaping off the rail, before it circles back, landing again to peck at his  sleeve to express its displeasure. Thatch ignores it, because he's fuming.

So apparently all of his and Koala's secret debates over whether Marco intentionally proposed or not were for naught, because here's the fucking evidence. And it comes from Izo of all people, because Thatch would recognize that lopsided handwriting anywhere (the man insists that his handwriting is beautiful in his native language of Wano, but he never quite got used to writing any other way).

And well, if Izo, an unrelated third party but professional snooper knows, then Marco himself must know.

And apparently, they're already planning a wedding.

Thatch feels like an idiot. He'd been defending Marco against Koala, and the lil Revolutionary was a tough opponent, one he'd had to chase out of the kitchen with a ladle more than once when he was tired of her word games. Thatch had insisted, like a fool, that no Marco's not that kind of guy, he really isn't the type to play with people's emotions, he would never propose for a joke, nor would he do it seriously without good reason. It must all be an accident, a little misunderstanding, Marco was just ignorant like Thatch himself was!

Except, apparently he did know and it wasn't an accident, and now Thatch feels completely lost because he doesn't know what Marco's thinking at all. Marco, who's not just his his first friend on the Moby, but arguably his best friend; Marco, his brother over several decades; Marco, who Thatch thought he knew better than anyone, except perhaps Pops himself...

Thatch's also pissed, because if Marco wants to start drama after they all reunite and he's introduced to Luffy, that's one thing (not that that would be great either). But right now, they're still near the beginning of Paradise with almost half the circumference of the world to go until even the halfway point, and Marco is WAY on the other side of the Red Line. If this ship explodes in flames or whatever that batshit Revolutionary brother might do, Mister First Division Commander is completely unaffected, but there are plenty of innocents here (like hello! Thatch!) who would find that pretty devastating.

Also, Thatch was the one who passed on that gift to Luffy! Even if he didn't know what it meant at the time...doesn't that make Thatch complicit? And even if not, Marco's strongest connection here is clearly Thatch. If Marco's actions cause chaos, then the blame and responsibility to clean up the mess naturally falls upon Thatch. Which, he definitely did not sign up for.

Pops, Thatch thinks miserably, I thought I was supposed to show them they can depend on us Whitebeards, NOT that us Whitebeards will fuck shit up for them...

But more than anything, there's a shocking large part of Thatch that absolutely balks at just the idea of Luffy getting married. And it's shocking because Thatch shouldn't feel this upset.

Marco, for all the complaints Thatch wants to hurl at him at the moment, is still a really great guy. A guy who, in literally any other situation, Thatch would be the first in line to enthusiastically encourage, and also to congratulate.

And sure, Thatch knows he has a crush, and his little Seastar's carving out a larger home for herself in his heart by the day, but--Thatch admittedly has crushes a lot. Sure, this one feels different, but...Marco, to his knowledge, has never had a romantic crush. He only sometimes but very rarely even has a night out, and Thatch doesn't think he's ever held a relationship longer than three encounters. He's always so serious, so diligent, so sincerely and whole-heartedly dedicated to Pops and his family. He almost never does anything selfish for himself, and Thatch would know.

If, for whatever reason, Marco is genuinely serious about Luffy...then Thatch should, and would, step to the side, regardless of personal feelings. If this is the path Marco wants, then he deserves it, and Thatch will always be the first to say it, no matter how craptastic the circumstances. And Thatch knows that Marco would give his bride the world.

Without them even having met, Thatch doesn't doubt for a second that Marco would make Luffy happy, till the end of her days.

The fact that Thatch knows all this, yet still feels near unbearable reluctance...says more than he's willing to admit.

And so he decides to avoid thinking about the most obvious reason (his own feelings), and instead contemplates his second very compelling reason: Ace.

His littlest brother isn't so great at being honest with himself, and never has. But this, Thatch feels, isn't just a matter of denial.

The boy literally has no clue.

Oh sure, Ace knows he loves his little brother. He makes sure everyone else knows it too, both here on the Merry and back on the Moby once he opened up enough to talk to people. He's so damn proud of her, yet also concerned for her, while also trusting her with his life and more. It's clear to anyone who sees them together that he absolutely adores her.

But it's more than that, isn't it, Thatch thinks. It's in the little gestures, the way Ace raises his arm up without looking at her and she slides under it, also without needing to look at him. It's the casual way they lace their fingers together, like it's nothing, when they're snoozing out on the deck. It's the way sometimes they have unspoken conversations, just staring into each others eyes, before moving forward in synch to meet in the middle to bump their foreheads together in some secret mutual understanding.

It's the reason why Sanji, for all his extravagant flirting, knows when to shut up and return to being a normal human (and, Thatch grudgingly admits, this applies to himself too). It's why Zoro never lets his gaze linger more than two seconds longer than it needs to (but he'll always take those two seconds), why Nami always looks like she wants to sit closer but doesn't, why Koala hasn't said anything when she's probably usually a much more proactive flirter.

Everyone on their crew can see it, except the two in question.

Ace, Thatch thinks, heaving a huge sigh as he looks down at the crumpled note from Izo in his palm. Little brother, you are so fucking in love.

It might not necessarily be romantically. It's certainly not particularly sexually, if Ace's lack of reaction to Lu's aggressive physical smothering is any indication. It could very possibly be platonically.

But either way, there's no room for Sanji, nor Zoro, nor the girls, nor even Thatch himself...at least, until those two figure that out.

Until then, everyone aboard the Merry is here because they love and respect their captains. No one would dare encroach on something so special, yet so potentially immature, not yet ready to be dragged out to be recognized.

Thatch knows Ace has known Luffy for years, he practically raised her. But he was also away at sea for three years. Luffy was a child when he left; she's an adult now.

Thatch once asked him if she had changed at all since he last saw her (Ace most certainly had, according to Deuce). And Ace looked blank, then horribly confused, before saying No...but also, yeah, I guess. Thatch understands; Ace isn't used to not knowing something about Luffy. And something...something had changed.

That something might very well be the thing that needs to be figured out. And for that, Ace hasn't had much time yet, since reuniting with Luffy. Only as much time as the rest of them, in fact. And they deserve time to figure that out, and as the two captains' loving crew, the ASL pirates have an unsaid agreement to watch over them...at least until they have.

(After that, Thatch thinks grimly, it might be open game.)

But of course, there's also the question of Luffy herself, and as much as she's the heart of the ASL Pirates, she's also an enigma. Thatch, for all that he adores her and honestly wants more with her, genuinely has a hard time imagining her as anything but clueless as someone's romantic partner (he's carefully not thinking about anything sexual). It very well may be that the whole "figuring out" that she and Ace have to do...ends up being nothing. And that's fine as well.

Either way, as much as Thatch loves him, there's no way that any of them here on board the Merry will stand to let Marco shatter this delicate...whatever it is that's going on between their captains, that the rest of them are so patiently respecting. Even if it ends up continuing indefinitely.

As strained as it can feel at times, they're comfortable like this. There's the little spark of joy when Seastar gives him a little extra attention, a little burn when Sanji kisses her hand, but comfort in the stability that no one will go any further. If anything it's a nice little spice to their daily lives, just the right amount, and not enough ruin the dish so to speak. This is fine.

Except, that there's just one teeny little problem...

"What did the blue gull bring you today, Commander?"

Thatch doesn't jump, because he's not an amateur and did realize that the Revolutionary was approaching, but perhaps later than he should have. Damn the kid's good at hiding his presence, and Thatch wonders if he'd have noticed at all if Sabo was being serious.

"Just a stupid request from a stupid brother," Thatch says cheerfully as he turns around to face Sabo. The boy isn't even trying to hide his curiosity, his gaze pinned to Thatch's hand.

Thatch contemplates chucking the letter into the sea, but then he realizes he isn't sure Sabo wouldn't just dive after it, and as a devil fruit user, Thatch wouldn't be able to stop him from reading it underwater.

So he casually uncurls his fingers, watches Sabo visibly perk up--before Thatch opens a black hole in his palm, letting the crumpled paper get sucked into the void.

(Perhaps he should be using his power as more than a secure second dimension pocket expansion, but hey, so far it hasn't been so helpful in the kitchen.)

Sabo sags and sulks, rather cutely, Thatch thinks. "You coulda let me see it," he pouts, looking up at Thatch with an expression uncannily like Luffy's. Fuck.

"Collecting intel, Chief?" Thatch winks, expertly hiding his horror that for a moment, he'd actually been tempted. Little sneak.

"Perhaps." Something slightly manic enters his gaze, and alright, that's nothing like Seastar, not so cute after all...

"Nice try, but it's a personal family thing, can't really share," Thatch says, and it's not really a lie.

Sabo grunts, letting it go, before his gaze flicks to the gull, who still has a beakful of Thatch's sleeve. "It waiting for something?"

Thatch sighs. "Yeah, yeah, my response, which I should probably give..." Because, right, Thatch needs to send a message back to the Moby, even if no, he isn't going to answer Izo's idiotic question.

Which, is actually a fine excuse to extract himself from this situation.

"So, sorry, the response also is personal, hope you don't mind," Thatch nods, and Sabo easily opens the way for him--which, Thatch belatedly realizes, he'd actually been blocking. Scary, little Chief, scary...

"Sorry, didn't mean to pry." Sabo sounds genuinely apologetic, and tips his hat at Thatch as he passes by, and Thatch inwardly heaves a massive sigh of relief. "I'm working on it, but I know I can get a little...pushy, when it comes to things that involve my baby brother."

Thatch continues to walk away.

But inside...

Oh. Yikes, he thinks.

~~

Thatch is in the privacy of the currently empty men's sleeping room beneath the deck, and has just finished writing and giving instructions and bribes to the gull when the hatch creaks open.

"Thatch, we're in trouble," Koala announces as she stomps down the stairs, making her sneaky opening of the door rather pointless.

"I noticed," Thatch says dryly.

Koala pales. "He didn't break any of your toes, did he?!"

"What."

"Well, you're a cook, you make food Luffy likes with your hands," Koala shrugs. "Just wanted to make sure."

"What the fuck."

"I don't think he will! You're Luffy and Ace's crew, and you're a Whitebeard pirate, but..."

Thatch groans. "I already thought your Chief might be trouble, but holy shit I didn't know he was that batshit."

"He might not be!" Koala sounds defensive, but it's not particularly comforting. "He's usually reasonable, kind of, but since his memories came back..."

Thatch throws up his arms. "So, how'd he get it out of you?"

Koala flushes. "I didn't say anything!"

"Sure."

"It's not my fault that Sabo's a damn--!"

There's a loud knock, before the hatch flings open, and Ace pops his head in. "Hey Thatch! What's for snack--"

"NOT AGAIN!" Koala cries.

At the same time, Thatch shouts, "IN A SECOND!"

Either way, the hatch slams shut with a, "SORRY!"

Thatch and Koala stare at each other with their hearts beating uncomfortably rapidly.

They slowly heave a slow sigh of relief as the tension drains.

"I really need to apologize to Ace," Thatch mutters.

"I really need to work on my Observation Haki," Koala groans.

"HEY THATCH, I WANT A SNACK," Luffy shouts, and Thatch and Koala's heads whip around in horror, only to sag with relief at seeing that Luffy's not in the room, but only for a second--

--because after that second, a mermaid's crashing through the hatch, ripping it from its hinges as she slams, hatch and all, into Thatch's chest.

The room fills with dust and debris, and there are shouts outside.

Koala gingerly peers into the wreckage where Thatch is now buried in the wall, a terrified blue gull  perched on her shoulders peering alongside her, its claws digging through the fabric of her shirt.

"We're fine," Thatch coughs, peering down to make sure he'd successfully caught and shielded Luffy from damage, even as he peels himself from the wood. Luffy seems unharmed, though her eyes are wide; she clearly hadn't expected to do quite this much.

"...Armament?" Koala asks, noticing how the back of Thatch's hair is black from where it's fanned around him.

"Armament," Thatch agrees, keeping the entire back of his body coated until he's safely pulled himself and Luffy, still in his arms, away from any sharp wood.

"Sorry, Thatch," Luffy says, not particularly apologetic, if anything sort of curious. She peels herself back from his chest, scritching her cheek while looking down at what was once the hatch to the mens room that had shattered between them. She then reaches back to tug at Thatch's black locks, and oohs when they fade back to auburn.

"No worries, just make sure to make it up to Deuce and Usopp when they have to fix this," Thatch sighs, before grinning, letting his arms fall away from Luffy once he knows she has a secure grip on his shoulders. He then begins carding his fingers through her hair to make sure no splinters got in, and likewise dusting off the front of her vest, taking care not to let his touch linger. Luffy nods frantic agreement, more like rubs her head into his palm, and Thatch feels his heart skip a beat.

Koala sighs.

"Hey Thatch, what's this?"

Thatch blinks, then inwardly curses.

Luffy's holding Izo's crumpled piece of paper. His control of his power's still shoddy, and it must have accidentally spat it back out in the commotion.

Please, don't be able to read that, he prays. He luckily doesn't have much confidence in Luffy's reading abilities.

"It says 'what are her three sizes.' What are those?"

In the background, Koala slowly raises her fist.

~~

A few days later, Marco's scouting when a blue gull rapidly approaches him.

Delivery! it squawks. Delivery for you, Boss, and don't show Izo! Don't show Izo! Don't show Izo or the bread man will be mad!

Thank you, noted, friend, Marco responds, and catches the note from Thatch in mid air.

The gull trills acknowledgement, then wheels away to rejoin its brethren, while Marco changes course for the nearest island, a safe forest haven in Pops's territory, still a ways away from the Moby. It's uninhabited, save for the wildlife, and it would be good to land once before returning home anyway.

Marco lands lightly on the tallest and oldest tree on the island, from where he can survey the island of pure greenery, and the endless blue stretching beyond. The branch he's chosen looks deceptively thin, but he already knows it can support his human weight, which is why he shifts, passing the note from his claw to his hand before completing his transformation.

Marco frowns. The other Commanders (and to be honest, the entire crew) have been acting a bit strange recently, but for Thatch, who isn't even on board with them, to also be in on it...

True, this may or may not be related to that at all. But still.

Marco feels like he's missing something.

Marco, Thatch's message starts, and Marco already knows it's going to be serious because it didn't start with a jibe at his appearance.

Marco, I think I'm actually serious about her. Thoughts, brother?

Her, meaning the Ace's little brother, the mermaid girl.

If Marco remembers correctly, in Thatch's first note back to him, he'd written, She's stolen my heart, I think I want to marry her.

Marco had assumed Thatch was joking at the time, or just light-heartedly flirting, as he always did. Marco's used to hearing Thatch spew these kinds of words, and he'd taken it to mean that the girl's exceptionally Thatch's type, but hadn't thought further.

The words had made him remember a little trinket he'd had stored in a chest at the back of his closet, one he'd received from an elderly couple on Fishman Island around two decades ago...

But that's not important now, Marco thinks, focussing on Thatch's message.

In all his years of flings and casual relationships and jokingly asking ladies (and some gents) Won't you marry me...Thatch has not once asked for Marco's opinion. He's certainly had plenty of opinions himself about whether someone would be a potential good match for Marco, which Marco always ignored. But Thatch has never asked Marco about matches for himself.

Thatch really is serious.

Marco finds himself slowly smiling. "Finally, you sap," he murmurs, though no one hears him but the other birds in the trees around him.

He knows he ought to think more about what to say, but the answer is so obvious that Marco takes Thatch's note, and carefully tears the paper so that his brother's words aren't damaged. Gently tucking Thatch's note into his pocket, Marco pulls out a pen for the remaining small blank strip of paper.

Shortly afterwards, two birds depart from the island, in opposite directions: one, a phoenix, wings burning cyan against the clear skies, and the other, a blue gull headed to Paradise.

~~

~~

~~

Part 9, things start Moving as Sabo confronts Ace.

Thank you so much for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! And again, please do let me know if you actually like reading the story here on tumblr or not >.<;

As always, any comments are immensely appreciated and help motivate me to create more for this AU! ;A;

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

~This ask has been added to the Mermaid AU Text Headcanons Compilation post~

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Sanders sides ships ranked? Also favorite ot3

I'm assuming because of the phrasing you mean the ships where it's just two of 'em because otherwise we will be here all day

Let's start with the two-fers:

1. Logince: I can't with these two. Just the dynamic they manage to have while also being two different types of smart with mutual respect and admiration for the other's abilities is PERFECT to me. Equal opportunities for fluff and angst.

2. Roceit: Listen, we all know how much I love Roman angst. The HISTORY these two have is just MMMMMMM and *slaps ship* this bad boy can fit so much of my trauma in it. Also just--submitting to the mortifying ideal of being known so that you can truly be loved??? perfect

3. Loceit: In a similar vein! You are allowed to exist outside of the usefulness you provide for others! You are more than your work! I will beat it into you with love if I have too! Also philosophy discussions at stupid o'clock in the morning. Yes.

4. Analogical: The Left Brain Boys are snarky and caffienated and gay. They can and will walk ten minute distances in five minutes. They have a private text chain dedicated to talking shit. They care about each other so fucking much and will outshine all you fucks with their amused gay judgment. It will happen.

5. Intrulogical: Chaos versus Order, who wins? Both is everyone's favorite flavor. Shit gets messy sometimes because shit happens and it's gonna be messy to someone. On the flipside, you have any idea how many mathematical theorems can simplify chaos? My inner nerd loves the dynamic of these two.

6. Dukeceit: No one is normal and normal is boring. Do you want to push the boundaries of what's considered acceptable or question what acceptable means? Cool! I dunno, man, just, skulking conspiracy theorist Janus and chaos gremlin Remus is a good time. What's up.

7. Logicality: I dunno, these two are balls of fluff. That's it. We can all use some good old fashioned fluff from time to time. That's the tea, sis.

8. Prinxiety: OOF the history. For me it's hard to walk the line on this one???? So many prinxiety things I see swing too far one way or the other, I'm rarely satisfied with how either of them are portrayed. Obviously I make no claims on being the utmost authority of their characters but it does make it harder for me to enjoy.

9. Royality: Again the history. If it's purely fluff in an AU where everybody is happy, I will eat that shit up. But in canon...Patton's relationship with Roman is complicated and reading that stuff can be triggering for me, so I tend to err on the side of caution.

10. Moceit: WOW the dynamic between these two is FRAUGHT. Which is some people's cup of tea, just not mine. I've read some excellent stuff for these two but I won't seek it out.

11: Dukexiety: This is where we get into platonic v romantic interpretations. I am aroace, take that as you will. These two? Brothers to me. Definitely. Have no issue with people who see this as romantic, just not for me.

12. Anxceit: Also brothers for me. More complicated brothers. Again, ship whatever you want, these boys are fictional, do whatever you like, this just ain't it for me sis.

13. Moxiety: I feel like it says something that most of the Patton ships are near the bottom. It does, and my feelings about Patton's relationships with most of the Sides in canon is...troubling to me. I prefer the platonic interpretations of these two.

14. Intruality: I don't think I've...ever read anything for these two??? So really got no comments?

15: RemRom.

Favorite ot3 is roloceit. definitely. but if we're doing favorite of all favorites, it's the found family for me. DLAMPR. gimme all of 'em.

WOW that's a long post.

[telehxhtrash]

I know its a big debate but I am not a dudebro for thinking killua and gon are platonic. I have no problem with people who do at all, but I honestly just think they have a strong friendship, and I am for encouraging boys to have these types of bonds with each other ~screw toxic masculinity~ I like following your blog btw

Hi ! First of all, thank you for liking my blog! I’m glad you’re enjoying my content even though I’m killugon trash HAHAH

Oh lord, it really is a big debate. I’m not calling everyone who doesnt like a romantic reading of killugon a dudebro, only the people who are vehemently against it because they say people are projecting and that there is no basis to our claims that hxh is queer work.

This is gonna be me ranting for a bit because it’s a subject that’s very dear to me so i’m very sorry in advance, it’s not against you, just a general statement !

I totally agree that fuck toxic masculinity. It’s so fucking toxic and men should be allowed to show emotions, affection and care openly without fearing for repercussions. And having portrayals of friendships where the characters are not afraid of sharing their love with the other in a totally platonic way is amazing.

However. 

There’s been countless representations of this type of relationship in media over the years. In every media, not only anime. I always cite the same example, but take Naruto who is the example that speaks to me the most. (ive never seen it so dont flame me if i say dumb shit). But from my understanding, Naruto and Sasuke’s relationship was a full on middle finger in the face of toxic masculinity. They shared a deep bond, pretty much like Killua and Gon’s. I know a lot of people shipped them because their relationship was borderline homoerotic, but in the end it was just a beautiful representation of a very deep platonic friendship. 

And when you’re queer, it’s heartbreaking. Because you’ve been projecting this entire time, for the work to tease you, to literally bait you into showing you inherent queer behavior only for it to say “haha lol jk” at the end is fucking rough. Especially when you’re young and questioning your sexuality, looking at relationships between two best friends and thinking “oh, this feels like I feel when I’m with my best friend, is this romantic love?” and then the work saying nope haha its purely platonic ! its rough. trust me. 

The community doesn’t have a lot of positive, healthy queer relationships to identify with. Especially in anime. Most queer relationships are labeled under the special genres “shounen ai” and “yuri” (both of these categories painting queer relationships in the worst possible ways ever btw, but thats a whole other subject). But it’s fucking sad. Because we deserve to see queer representation in works that are not classified as those genre. We shouldn’t have to dig into a particular genre to identify with characters : there should be queer representation no matter the genre, whether it be a shoujo, a seinen, or for example, a shounen battle manga.

And that’s why HxH is so important to the queer community. Because it displays just that. That you can have good queer representation in non shounen-ai genres. That queer relationships are normal and should not have to be classified under a certain category. 

A lot of queer people identify and recognize HxH as queer work, because of a few reasons. Togashi has always been interested in queer representation, having put queer characters in every single one of his works. There was a trans girl in YYH, a trans man in Level E, Alluka in HxH. Togashi also wrote several gay characters in both of these works. I always repeat myself on this, but Togashi also wanted to write a gay sports manga, but was turned down. His favorite manga when he was younger was a shounen-ai. So yes, Togashi has deep history and is very involved in queer representation.

Togashi is also very fucking smart. Just look at all the metas people are producing every day about hxh and understand how much effort togashi has put into his work : he’s a smart man, who makes conscious choices about everything he puts in his manga. So when you see the way he portrayed Killua and Gon’s relationship, and for now most importantly Killua, you know it’s not accidental. Togashi has put SO much subtext in his work about Killua in general, from his birthday being Tanabata to him wanting to commit a lovers’ suicide with Gon, and Togashi KNOWS how it comes across, he’s not dumb. He knows what those things mean, he knows that a shinjuu is a heavily connotated word, and that people, ESPECIALLY JAPANESE PEOPLE who have the cultural context, are gonna think “oh, maybe Killua is gay”. Because that subtext is intentional. And there’s a lot of it. If you haven’t read my post on the subtext of HxH, I invite you to do so because there’s a LOT of it. 

In short, HxH has the subtext, has the potential and has the one author that is not afraid of putting queer stuff in his work. That’s why Killugon is so important to the community, and that’s why a lot of people, especially queer folks, insist on the romantic reading of their relationship. 

Because it’s extremely important to queer people. Positive representation of queer relationships in anime is hard to come by, ESPECIALLY in the shounen genre. And sadly, because our society is drowning in deep internalized homophobia, people easily dismiss queer behavior in media as platonic actions.

How many times have I seen people assess that two people of opposite genders in an anime are in love only because they looked at each other once (take Ponzu and Pokkle for example). Or because they held hands. Our society is so quick to romanticize interactions between two people of different genders, but fail to do the same when it’s same-gender pairings. 

Straight people hand holding, kissing, blushing around each other, admitting their love out loud, looking at each other’s eyes deeply are immediately categorized as in love. But when it’s people of the same gender, people immediately say “it can be platonic”. And whether you’re aware of it or not, that’s internalized homophobia.

That’s why it’s infuriating to see people dismiss the subtext that Togashi has tried SO HARD to plant throughout his story. Because it’s there, and if Killua was a girl, there’d be way less people opposed to a romantic reading of their relationship. Because it’d be widely accepted that Togashi is writing them as a developing couple, no questions asked. 

Which brings me to my final point (promise, I’ll stop ranting after this). Sadly, the voices of the people who assert a platonic reading of a relationship are often louder than the voices of queer people who identify with the work. When confronted with an ambiguous relationship between a same-gender pairing, people unconsciously tend to choose a platonic reading of the relationship. Which is harmful to the queer community, because the voices of the queer people who identify with the work are silenced. 

In conclusion, yes, representations of deep platonic friendships without toxic masculinity are good, and very much encouraged. We’ve just had a shitton of those over the years, and queer people are craving for proper representation. Togashi is deeply invested in positive queer representation, has planted a lot of conscious subtext in HxH, and he’s the one author that would NOT queerbait. So people being insistent that Killua is pretty much canonically gay, and that it’s likely that Killugon will be a romantic pairing is not for the sake of mindless shipping. It’s because there are a lot of reasons to believe that this is Togashi’s intention.

And like I said, sadly, people insisting on a platonic reading of their relationship is unintentionally harmful to the queer community, because people are so quick to dismiss elements that make queer people identify with the work as platonic behavior, dismissing queer people as “wishful shippers”. 

There are plenty of reasons to believe that HxH is queer work, and while platonic readings of killugon’s relationship are valid, it sucks that it’s become overbearing in the anime community, to the point where outside of tumblr, people literally bully you for thinking that there’s a possibility Killua might be gay and in love with Gon. (trust me, i’ve faced a lot of people saying that it’s disgusting to label killua as gay)

So yes ! Killugon can be read as platonic. The queer community is just very adamant about people not dismissing Togashi’s subtext because HxH is the healthy, positive representation we need. It’s a beautiful piece of work that has the full potential (and who is most likely headed this way) to display a healthy, loving, positive canon gay relationship between two of its main characters. 

Showing that a shounen battle manga can feature a canon gay relationship, showing that you can be young and gay and what you thought was best friend behavior was maybe romantic and that it’s okay because feelings change and are hard to figure out especially when you’re young and queer !! 

And most importantly showing that unlike every portrayal of deep male best friends relationships in shounen anime that turn out to be painted as purely platonic, sometimes behaviors that queer people identify with ARE queer behavior, and not just platonic love, but romantic, homosexual love. 

[puppy-phum]

For the "opinions on a character" game: Pangzi!

oh damn i never expected to get my aries pal pangzi for this but!! i am so happy i did ;; finally i get to think about him a bit more!! i always feel like there’s no space for that when pingxie are just so intense (also fyi this is my second time writing this damn answer bc tumblr threw me off the page just as i was finishing this the first time and i am so pissed gaaahh am sorry)

give me a character

(placing under a cut! bc apparently i have much to say about him after all)

How I feel about this character

Pangzi always gives me some conflicted feelings. There is so much good in him and I adore him for many of his qualities. He’s caring, confident, funny, strong, unapologetically emotional and affectionate with the people he loves. He’s also such a dad and I love that for him. I want to go outside and travel with him and drink something and eat his cooking and joke with him and sing karaoke very badly and then fall asleep on an old couch happy and safe. I want to see him at his shop, selling stuff and rambling about antiques. I want to hang out with him. Learn stuff from him. Maybe practice some pyromania. You know, the usual Pangzi stuff.

But then all the bad stuff comes in and… I think I’m going to talk about this later but let me just say that Pangzi has been the hardest one to grasp out the Iron Triangle. He just keeps changing so much between the different dramas. There is always that certain essence to him that is very Pangzi but he keeps getting different layers with different actors. There are these tiny details that make me look at him in a different way every time he gains a “new face” for himself. I enjoy it but it also puzzles me. He’s not as easy a character as I first thought when I got introduced to him through Reboot. He is complex. He is surprising. He is very interesting. And that just makes me very fascinated by him. He’s a great person, once he grows into it.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

I haven’t really given much thought to Pangzi’s love life. I’ve mostly just grimaced when it comes to his random crushes while they travel in search of new tombs because most of those are very cringe (or worse). But I did adore him with PiaoPiao in Reboot. Those two were just simply lovely, and all their scenes together made me incredibly fond. I felt warm within their love. I felt like Pangzi belonged there, with this woman who he had known since he was a kid and who he came to protect so fiercely. It suited him. Being with PiaoPiao felt perfect for him. And for the first time, his feelings got returned! He got loved back (even if PiaoPiao had some other plans there). He got to actually be in love. Their date scene in season 2 lives in my head rent-free. I was crying out of happiness. I miss them, and Pangzi would’ve deserved to have that and not just the kid he can’t even adopt now but won’t abandon anyway.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Oh boy, there are a lot of relationships when it comes to Pangzi because he’s such a social butterfly. He knows everybody. He’s friendly (or enemies, there’s no in between) with everybody. And I adore how different drama adaptations have given different takes on all these relationships (or added completely new ones). Because through that, I’ve gotten to see the awesomeness that is Pangzi with people like Xiao Hua, Hei Xiazi, Xiuxiu, Kanjian, Liu Sang, Huo Daofu, Bai Haotian and the whole of Desperado Fam in Reboot. He is amazing when it comes to people.

But, above all else, is the Iron Triangle. Because how can I talk about Pangzi without mentioning his two best bros? They are just so good. I love that trio so much. And every time I think about them, I just have to say that am absolutely euphoric over the fact that they found each other in this world. And in what way? Bonkers. What are the chances even, to just suddenly bump into each other in a Mongolian desert and then come to realize that hey, you will be bumping into each other a lot for the rest of your lives? Less than zero, probably. But they did it! I am so happy for them. They deserve to have all their lazy retirement days.

Because, at the end of it, Iron Triangle just works. And especially Pangzi, as the heart of this triangle, makes me so emotional because emotions are his thing. That’s just what he does. He cares about all their emotions. He makes sure that they can relax and have food and comfort and warmth and a home and nice things to do when they have the time for it. He makes sure that Wu Xie doesn’t just lose it every other second and that Xiaoge knows that he’s allowed to be human under all his pain. He’s there to make them laugh (and to able Pingxie’s shenanigans like a pro). He’s there offering hugs and affection and smiles. He sings. He fills the silence. He’s – Pangzi is just an amazing friend (and I really think Pingxie need to give their thanks to him after all these years of Pangzi suffering through their idiot gay bullshit. He’s very tired, I can see that).

I’ve been so happy that the latest dramas have given us so many good moments related to both of these relationships Pangzi has with his best friends. Because, as much as I adore them together as a trio, I am overjoyed when I get to see Pangzi with either Wu Xie or Xiaoge. Reboot gave us him with Wu Xie; their old married couple life in their tiny apartment, just showing the best platonic love I can imagine. Zhu Yilong and Chen Minghao really aced that (Chen Minghao is my favorite actor for Pangzi in general, he just really captures that character so well, be it in Reboot or Sand Sea). And then in Ultimate Note, we get to see Pangzi with Xiaoge; joking together and being affectionate and showing how much they care about each other under all the “bickering” (quotation marks because well, Xiaoge doesn’t say much). That was so amazing to watch. I am so thankful. The Iron Triangle feels much more complete now and my love for them overflows. I could write novels about them but for now, am stopping here.  

My unpopular opinion about this character

I really don’t know if this is popular or unpopular but it’s an opinion! Related to the foreshadowing in the first part. So here goes:

Pangzi as a character manages to be a bit of a dick towards women.

At least sometimes. Because as I said, he gives me very conflicted emotions. All of this might be tied to the writing (and the inconsistency of it between the different dramas) and to the fact that NPSS treats the women of DMBJ like shit, but it is Pangzi who portrays such behavior the most. He has some of these very questionable lines or comments towards women, and like I said, even his love interests are quite… random. Controversial? Because I am not very into him trying to hit on some young girls all the time. That is creepy. Please don’t ruin him like this. He already suffers from the fact that all his love interests just die, and the whole of DMBJ’s women suffer from that too. We don’t want to see women dying for some male character’s development. I am sick of that, and Pangzi deserves to be his wonderful self.

Which brings me to the fact that he does redeem himself quite often. I think his comments mostly bothered me in The Lost Tomb where he said some things to A-Ning. After that, he’s been better? I remember loving him a lot in Explore With the Note because he had this whole new feeling to him. He was so carefree and cool. I love that one mirror scene in the Underwater Tomb where he is just “combing” his hair and playing with that tiny scarf and looking pretty. That is the Pangzi I adore! That silly man who doesn’t care about things like idk gender. Because he would be iconic like that. He’d rather burn for equality than make stupid misogynistic comments on women. I trust this, especially when you look at him in Reboot. Maybe he has grown. Maybe that is how he changes? I have no idea. But please let him be amazing without these stupid mishaps that don’t even seem to fit his character hhhh

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon

I’ve already mentioned his relationship with PiaoPiao. I wish he could’ve kept that, it was so good for him ;; I will forever be bitter that they brought PiaoPiao into the drama just to treat her as a warning to Pangzi of what would happen if he dared to meddle with the “normal life” while still being in tomb raiding business. That was just stupid. Let them be happy together with their kid!!!! (Because I support Pangzi Dad Rights in this house)

Another thing would be: Let Pangzi be sad (tho this goes to many other characters too because DMBJ tends to rush over all the pain the characters feel in favor to get to the action). I know he gets a while in Ultimate Note to mourn Yun Cai but in Reboot, he basically never got to grieve PiaoPiao. I know their relationship didn’t get to develop very far but he was obviously in love with her! He cared about her! There were many things unsolved between them! He should’ve been allowed more time to be sad about it or just bringing it back up again. To be honest, I wish we saw Pangzi’s true emotions more often because he tends to just hide everything behind a joke. But well, the same goes, once again, for so many other characters too so I don’t know if I can really demand that from him. But I wish his emotions got their while too. That he got some more focus in the dramas. He deserves more than just stupid jokes or embarrassment (and I don’t even want to start about the stupid fat jokes). 

thank you for sending me this ask!! i had so much fun trying to figure out pangzi in my head ^^ i hope you got something out of it! have a very lovely day ♥ 

[justwhumpythings]

Hi! I wanna ask you for some advice because I see you as this ol'grand elder of the whump community :D I've been a lurker only so far.. but I'd like to try my hand at writing & start to interact. But the problem is - I like these out of the way characters that have virtually no fandom currently. I prefer to write only platonic stuff too. So, if I wrote platonic whump abut characters that are kinda not popular (an OLD famous trilogy) would ppl be interested? Or shld I keep my writing to myself?

Hi! *puts on old granny voice* So, young person, you want to do a whump?* lol. I have no sage qualifications beyond having been here for a little while longer than some people, but thank you anyway. I’ll try to give my best advice.

Tbh I think you might be surprised how popular platonic content is within the whump community. I know shipping is a big deal in fandom generally but honestly a lot of the whump content I see here is gen stuff, and people love that shit.

The thing with small/non-existent fandoms and minor characters is a bit trickier. Sometimes, people who aren’t in the fandom might like your writing for itself and/or maybe even get into the fandom because of it. You might end up with only a small group of very loyal followers.

But there’s no guarantee.

At the end of the day, it’s up to you if you want to share your writing. You don’t have to; it’s fine to just keep it and enjoy it for yourself. There are other ways to interact if you want to. But if you want to post it - go for it! I guess I’d just say be cautious about it, and try to keep your expectations realistic. I’d hate for you to be disappointed if the writing doesn’t get as much interest as you’d like because of being for a small target audience. But then, this community is normally super welcoming and, well, we love us some whump. It could be worth the shot!

Whatever you decide, I wish you luck and hope you continue to enjoy writing and your time in this community!

[impatient14]

Not to be “annoying on main” but like most things here in the year 2020, a lot of the nuance and reason surrounding the fandom’s fight over Dean’s queerness is lost to the wily temptress that is extremity, and I want to throw some stuff out there in case anyone is thinking the same things and just needs to hear that someone else is too.

To my followers and anyone who dares look through my blog (honestly don’t recommend it), it’s obvious I’m someone who enjoys the Dean/Cas pairing. And when I say enjoy, I mean I absolutely get feral about a wide range of topics that involve their relationship, depiction, and reception. I’ve always kept my opinions within the confines of my blog, though, and I’ve never--not once in the decade of my life on Tumblr--gone into inboxes to send hate or even indirect someone with hate or drama on my blog. That shit just ain’t kosher.

That being said, some of the anti-destiel arguments out there have merit.

Like, for example, Destiel shippers not liking the show. Personally, I did like Supernatural originally, but I also recently recommended new watchers who came for Destiel to just watch certain episodes. I’ve stopped watching Supernatural several times throughout my Supernatural journey (which started in real time with season one), because the writing can be down right awful. There were lots of great examples of writing too, but it wasn’t consistent enough for me to keep watching in real time. So I'd watch a season behind on Netflix. At some point, things got bad enough (the bro-dependence, recycled or unimaginative plotlines, the terrible treatment and fridging of female characters) that I did keep coming back for Dean and Cas only (and honestly, it was sometimes only Castiel). 

Another worthy anti-destiel point for consideration is the fact that other than destiel shippers, a lot of people who watch Supernatural don’t care about Castiel. This seems to be correct. I’d wager to say that the vast majority of Supernatural watchers did not invest even a portion of time, energy, or emotions in Castiel that we did. That’s cool. I’ve been a casual viewer of a show and been blindsided by things that their fanon saw coming a mile away. Everyone has different perspectives, and the idea that Castiel isn’t integral to the plot when you remove the possibility of Destiel is absolutely correct.

However.

Why did they keep bringing him back? It’s true that he could easily be written out when his relationship with Dean is bro-ified, but his deaths never took until the end (and even then it didn’t). Sure, it could be “pandering,” but if only 1% of the Supernatural fandom ships destiel (as stated in one argument), it seems like a strange choice monetarily. Misha, as a series regular, wasn’t exactly giving out his services for free (eyyoo), so producers and the network wouldn’t give a second thought to the vitroil and threats creators and actors would get if Misha were written off. (Side note: I categorically *hate* the social media accessibility that lets people directly interact so negatively with creators to the point of dangerous conditions. It’s the most ugly and embarrassing side of fandom.)

It could be argued they kept bringing him back because they knew hellers and Cas lovers would continue to buy his Merch and what not, but I can’t imagine the small percentage of viewers who are invested enough in Castiel to buy his Merch would compensate for Misha’s annual salary. (But honestly, numbers aren’t my thing so *shrug*) But it could also be argued that the perceived destiel headache for creators, plus the retention of Misha’s salary, would be enough to get rid of him if not for a crucial role he plays in the show. Creators have repeatedly said that Cas’ whole character revolves around his relationship with Dean, so that means the writers felt that the Cas/Dean relationship was important to the fabric of the show--in whatever way you’d like to see it. Does that mean viewers have to see it that way? Definitely not. But that’s not the story the writers are telling you they’re writing--

Oh, that sounds familiar!

All the textual gay jokes, narrative devices, and creator interactions (not just Misha, but writers, producers, and other actors too) created the metaphorical pink elephant, not the shippers themselves. And to be told otherwise is some gaslighting bullshit. I agree some fans take it too far and freak out at the mere mention of a non-destiel reading, but the foundation for a destiel reading is based in text, not just in the shippers heads. The relationship between the Supernatural creators, actors, and fandom is undoubtedly toxic, which is why I think it makes it easier for them to deny various romantic interpretations of Dean and Castiel's relationship, but (and i hate to do it) in their defense, they definitely wrote enough into the text to justifiably claim Dean's a nohomodudebro. However, they've also written enough into the text to legitimately doubt (not definitively deny) his heterosexuality.

IMO (for the maybe two people wondering) Dean became bisexually coded in a very complicated conglomeration of a homophobic “its funny to be gay” kind of way, the chemistry between Jensen and Misha, countless production decisions, and Castiel’s growing and canonical love for Dean---which all makes the matter impossible to ignore. On more than one occasion the writers made choices that welcomed a destiel reading--not confirmed--but welcomed (which is, wait for it, queerbaiting!). I’d be shocked if no one read Dean as being queer coded and secretly in love with Castiel, who btw, is absolutely 100% romantically in love with Dean Winchester. The writers kept making decisions that fed hellers so well because Castiel is in love with Dean. It’s not just Misha who has confirmed it btw, but the writers themselves. You’re allowed to read it differently, just like destiel shippers read Dean differently than the writers have claimed, but you don’t get to tell other people they’re wrong--just like destiel shipping should never have gotten to the point were anyone who didn’t see destiel was reading the show wrong. However, the difference between saying Cas’ love is platonic and saying Dean’s love is queer is the difference between having zero textual evidence for a platonic reading of Cas’ love, and having lots of textual evidence for Dean’s heterosexuality. (Personally? My headcannon for Dean fluctuates between “so closeted he doesn’t even know he’s actually bisexual” and “very much aware he’s also into dudes but is pushing it down because : Winchester ™.” However, I’m more than happy to admit that my headcannon can’t be reasonably confirmed as fact. It can, however and like most headcannons within the destiel fandom, be comprehensively and intelligently argued to the point of exhaustion.)

The only reason to deny that 1.) it’s reasonable to read Dean as being queer-coded, not canonically bisexual, but queer-coded via textual and production decisions, and 2.) Castiel is romantically in love with Dean-- is if you’re someone who can’t give credit to the opposition just because they’re the opposition. Just because I hate Trump and think he’s the spawn of Putin’s asshole doesn’t mean I can’t admit he did *some* good work for criminal justice reform. The credibility of your argument goes to crap when you can’t admit when someone else has a good point- even if you don’t agree with their overarching theory or idea.

Obviously, the state of the Supernatural fandom is pretty much what it will be forever. Getting thousands of people to admit that its normal to find evidence to support an argument you don’t agree with (something philosophers do all the time because there is no such thing as truth and the world isn’t black and white and its shades of grey that make the rainbow bright and on and on and on), is definitely not in the cards for us. But, this is just me, throwing my altogether unnecessary opinion out there. 

(If you’re one of those people that like to troll people just for having an opinion and expressing it respectfully, please consider not doing that. I am but a baby in a trench coat.)