#as longer I look it's became harder to distinguish them
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marzipanandminutiae · 6 months ago
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Hi, this is a bit of a shot in the dark on my end, but I have a fashion inquiry (and I apologize if I sound ridiculous at all; I’m a bit at my wit’s end).
Is there a good way to research forms of casual Victorian garb? I feel like I’m going a bad route by inserting the word ‘Victorian’ into any search because it results in rather fancy things (or modern twists on such that are purchasable). Would it be wiser to site dates in search? Is this going to fruitless?
Sorry for taking up any time if this is out of wheelhouse. But if you do answer, I really appreciate it.
I'll do my best! Focusing on womenswear, because...well, that's what I know best. But if anyone wants to chime in about the gentlemen, please do so!
So, casual Victorian doesn't always read as Casual to us nowadays. Standards of casual clothing- that is, clothing one wears for everyday life when nothing special is going on -were rather higher than we have today.
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This is an illustration of matchstick-makers in London's East End c. 1871, done by one Herbert Johnson. The women have their sleeves rolled up and aprons on, but when they leave the factory (rolling their sleeves down, adding hats to go outside- which most of them would have done; it was part of looking Respectable) they might be indistinguishable to us from any other women of the same era wearing not particularly bustle-y skirts. Some of them probably have on the commonplace Matching Skirt And Bodice dress format of the era; others have on blouses made from the same patterns as those worn by middle- and upper-class women.
Also note that they have on ribbons, chokers, earrings...they're just like us. They like wearing things that make them feel Put Together, even though they're doing one of the lowest-valued, most dangerous jobs open to women at the time. Because people have always been people, regardless of time or social class.
And for middle-class women and up, Casual might be even harder to distinguish from "fancy" to us today.
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This is a mid-late 1880s day dress with a skirt length suitable for lots of walking, from Augusta Auctions. Could not tell you the social status of the woman who owned it, genuinely. Probably not the absolute poorest of the poor, but beyond that...this is a dress you could potentially wear to run errands. Even to go to work, if your job wasn't especially physical. Because. I don't know. It's a Day Dress. You wear it for day things. It's not especially formal, because then it would be made of a more delicate material and probably have a longer skirt (unless it was a Serious Dancing ball gown). Possibly also a lower neckline and puffed sleeves, if it was exclusively for the most formal events.
The idea that a dress was "fancy" just because it had ornamentation wasn't really in their cultural vocabulary.
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Here is a group of women playing croquet in what looks like the early-mid 1870s. They're just hanging out! Having a good time! They're probably middle or upper class, but that's what they wear to chill outside with friends- to play a lowkey sport, even.
So yeah, it can be hard to map Victorian everyday clothing onto our "jeans and t-shirt" understanding of what makes an outfit casual. They had skirts and blouses for most relevant decades, but even those outfits often end up looking formal to us nowadays because of what I call Ballgownification- the idea that, since we only wear clothes that look even vaguely like what they had for extremely dressy occasions, we assume everything we see of their clothing was dressy.
(Someone please ask for my rant about Ballgownification)
Searching for "day dress," "walking dress," "blouse," "blouse waist," and "shirtwaist" (the last for the late 19th-early 20th century when that term became commonplace) might help. Best of luck!
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twists-and-things-betwixt · 2 years ago
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Of Nightingales and Night Ravens: Chapter 2 - Music Night at the Mostro Lounge
Chapter: I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII
Read on AO3
Summary: In which Yuu makes her debut as a cabaret singer at the Mostro Lounge. (or, Poor Unfortunate Souls)
Yuura is referred to as They and She.
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"Everyone, please, keep him distracted! I'm going to try something!""What? Yuu, no, last time—!"
"Please, just trust me!"
"Hurry up! The glass isn't gonna hold up much longer!"
"Finally! The oceans belong to me!"
"What are they doing?!"
"And—now—you—poor unfortunate soul! Time's up! You're through!"
"The Sea Witch's song? But how—!"
"Now the power of Poseidon has been once again made whole! All the magic of the trident and the shell in my control! And now dark shall reign forever—over ocean, sea, and shoal…!"
The golden trident that materializes in their hands crackles like condensed lightning, harsh and wicked sharp and blindingly bright.
"Now see for yourself how banishment feels!"
"Shit, the dome's caving in!"
"YOU POOR—UN—FORTUNATE—SOUL!"
----
The moment the Prefect steps foot inside the Mostro Lounge, the Heartslabyul and Savanaclaw customers in attendance—as well as a number of the servers—stand to attention, abandoning their conversations in favor of glancing warily over at the Ramshackle student, though the gazes of the Octavinelle students who now know are a tad more awestruck, a bit more fearful.
(A significant upgrade from the looks of disbelief the Prefect’s co-workers used to give them when it became clear that they somehow managed to capture the attentions of both Leech twins without severe bodily harm to their person. When demanded how, the Prefect shrugged, looked back at them with an incredulous face, and said, "Senior Jade and Senior Floyd aren’t so bad, once you get to know them. They remind me of my uncles, a bit."
(Again—insane.)
The Prefect does not pay them any mind, occupied with the excitable Leech twin who comes barreling towards them from across the room with a cheerful "He—e—y, Shrimpy!" Neither do they notice the punched out gasps and sympathetic winces given when Floyd Leech sweeps them up into a bone-crushing squeeze that leaves their legs dangling. "Ya here for Azul's thing?"
"Ah! Mind the ribs, please," the Prefect wheezes, wriggling in his grasp as they adjust their breathing. Hands freed, they wrap one arm around his shoulders and use the other hand to start pinching his cheek (cue more gaping and gasping from their audience). "It's good to see you. Could you take me to Senior Ashengrotto's office, please?"
"Ehhh? Are your skinny shrimp legs too weak to walk there by yourself, Lil' Shrimpy?" Floyd drawls. His words are a little distorted by the cheek-pulling.
"Would you put me down and let me walk there, then?"
"Nope~." Multiple onlookers collectively suffer a stroke as the Leech proceeds to toss the Prefect up into the air long enough to catch them with an arm under their knees and around the back.
To the Prefect's credit, they only let out a startled "Oop," before folding their hands behind his neck. ''Lead the way,'' they say, quite cheerful.
(Somewhere in the background, too many Heartslabyul and Savanaclaw students almost jump out of their seats, torn between running after the Leech walking away with their Singer and staying put because it's the Scarier Leech walking away with their Singer.)
----
When the Prefect steps back inside the Lounge—this time from the shadows of the low stage set up near the center of the room—silverware is dropped, drinks are spilled and choked on, and two or three people almost upturn their dishes slamming their elbows down on the edges of their plates.
(From the very beginning, the young men of NRC have defaulted to referring to the Prefect with the neutral They, their gender even harder to distinguish than the Pomefiore students with more androgynous features (like the diva Housewarden himself or that tiny freshman on the Spelldrive team). After all, Night Raven College is an all-boys academy. It’s safe to assume that everyone at the very least goes by He.
(Then the Prefect shuffled into the Mirror Chamber with a smaller-than-average stature and waifish figure, with thin hands and delicate wrists, and large hazel-brown eyes with soft edges set in a round face. And then the fat cat and Heartslabyul dunces who hung around the Prefect addressed them with They. And then one day, the Prefect tied their hair back into a sprout of a tail and Spade started using He. And then the next day, the Prefect walked into History of Magic in a handmade skirt and cardigan and Trappola started using She. At that point, everyone who interacted with the Prefect just went with their gut instinct. And even when the Prefect was wearing the ponytail and called She, or the skirt and called He, they never frowned or corrected anyone, so the Prefect’s gender was chalked up as another oddity about them that, at best, only caused mild confusion, with people fumbling over whether to roughhouse with them like they do with their classmates, or treat them as they would a lady, with respect and due regard.)
But in the dim, intimate lighting of the Mostro Lounge, the Prefect blended in with the shadows in their—her black sheath dress, skirts whispering silently against the carpet and collar reaching high to conceal the column of her neck. Exposed arms were clad in long gloves of fine black lace. The sheer scarf draped over her shoulders flows down her arms and spills over her wrists like a stream of violet water. Her hair is even darker in this lighting, making the pearls studded throughout almost as bright as diamonds.
''I won’t even question how you got my measurements, I’m sure you have your ways. It’s very kind of you to lend me this.''
''But of course. You are providing me with an invaluable service; I’m merely returning the favor… And the dress is yours to keep.''
''Now you’re being too generous, Senior—I mean, Azul-san. Ah, do you think my hair looks alright? My father always said pearls suited me, but I’m sure it’s just paternal sentiment speaking, you know?''
“...I’m inclined to agree with your father, Miss Yuura.''
''And now, here with us all tonight, making her debut performance—''
That’s the voice of the proprietor himself, distracting the audience long enough for several to realize that the Prefect isn’t holding a microphone, nor is the usual band onstage to accompany them—her.
''—everyone, please welcome the Prefect of Ramshackle, Yuura Miyajima, with what she describes as ‘a tribute to the Sea Witch.’''
‘A tribute to the Sea Witch’? What could that even mean?''
I admit that in the past, I’ve been a nasty. They weren’t kidding when they called me, well, a witch.''
…was that Barren Tongue? Where was that smoke coming from? Where was that music coming from?
The Prefect steps forward, wisps of grayish-lavender smoke rolling off her skirt to slither across the floor, up half-steps, over the feet of tables and spectators alike, like tentacles reaching out, seeking, searching. "And I fortunately know a little magic." She trails her hand in front of her, and the room grows cavernous—the shadows deepen and lengthen, the lights outside the aquarium darken as mauve and violet cast ominously across the room. "It's a talent that I always have possessed.
"What magic?! several audience members outside of the Know internally scream, frozen in their seats. What talent?! You're supposed to be the Magicless Prefect! What kind of sorcery is this?
"And here lately—please don't laugh—"No one is laughing, Miss Ramshackle Prefect!"—I use it on behalf of the miserable, lonely, and depressed…"
…pathetic…
…hahahaha!...
…where did those echoes come from? That laughter?
"Poor unfortunate souls… In pain. In need."
There's no way the Prefect could know this song. Not even those native to the Coral Sea know all the words anymore—not in their native okeánios Olympikós—poneménis psychís, that's almost all they can remember, hurt, aching soul—let alone in Barren Tongue. No one outside the waters of Atlantica should even know the melody. Yet here the Prefect stands, clad in black and violet like a shade of the Sea Witch herself, singing her Lost Song with haunting familiarity.
The Prefect throws her arms out as if to beckon her audience. That wouldn't be far off. Though the words she sings are in Barren Tongue, it's almost as if the very meaning of the song is embedding itself into her audience's minds. They can't understand the words, but they can understand the intention behind them. A song meant to entice—to tempt and beguile and seduce. A shiny lure for the gullible fish, ignorant to the sharp hooks just waiting to sink into vulnerable flesh.
(In the privacy of her mind, Yuura Miyajima is caught between excitement, fear, and guilt. Fear, because she didn't expect Poor Unfortunate Souls to be so potent, only halfway through the song. Guilt, because she doesn't want anyone to be scared of her, not really. Excitement, because this is as much of a gift as it is a threat. A gift to Azul-san and the other Octavinelle students. A threat to them as well as everyone else listening. Perhaps a healthy dose of fear is needed, because if they are afraid, they'll leave her and hers alone, and if they're afraid, then maybe Yuu can use this to protect just as much as she can use it to hurt—)
"The men up there don't like a lot of blather." She lifts her skirts to climb the steps leading up to the tables and booths near the aquarium glass, an uncharacteristic, dismissive air to her. "They think a girl who gossips is a bore. Yes, on land it's much preferred for ladies not to say a word—"
(Her hand comes to rest on her throat, and the action does not go unnoticed by the Octavinelle Housewarden, whose eyes never strayed for even a moment since she started singing the song of their beloved Sea Witch. Not after he was informed of the events of his unfortunate Overblot and the trump card the Prefect finally played. After they were both knocked out, and he came to before she did. After he caught a glimpse of the black marks encircling her neck.)
"And after all, dear, what is idle prattle for?"
...COME ON...
"They're not all that impressed with conversation! True gentlemen avoid it when they can." The Prefect clasps her hands to her chest, an almost perfect picture of innocence were it not for the thick fog now crawling up the walls and trickling down from the shadowed ceiling. "But they dote and swoon and fawn on a lady who's withdrawn."
…it's she who holds her tongue who gets a man…
Those clasped hands move up to wrap around her throat, the Prefect's face twisting into an impatient sneer, so out of place and all too dreadful to behold. A few people whimper. Some of the Octavinelle students grow weaker around the knees. Near the bar, Floyd Leech looks about ready to snatch the Prefect up, performance be damned.
"Come on, you poor unfortunate souls!" Rose and cerulean lights explode in the darkness, shocking and blindingly bright. There's a thud here and there as bodies hit the floor. Those Octavinelle servers fall to their knees. Those in the Know—those in the Watch—hold their breaths and watch the Prefect cast her spell in terrified awe. "Go ahead! Make your choice!
"I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day. It won't cost much—"
…JUST YOUR VOICE…
Why would you want our voices when you already have one like that? more than one student cries.
"You poor unfortunate souls! It's sad, but true." Gold light outlines the Prefect's features as she turns to face the Octavinelle Housewarden himself, seated at the bar with his left and right-hands, unable to conceal the wonder clearly on display. She taps her temple, lips curling into a mischievous grin. "If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet, you've got to pay the toll. Take a gulp and take a breath and go ahead and sign the scroll."
Amusement dances in those dark eyes as she extends her hands to the Vice Housewarden behind the bar with an unreadable expression and his twin brother standing nearby with a greedy one. "Floyd and Jade Leech, now I've got 'im, boys! The boss is on a roll~!"
She spins away, smoke and fog surrounding her as she returns to the stage center of the room, taking in all of the eyes staring at her in awe. In dread. In fear.
It's too late to turn back now.
"This POOR—UN—FORTUNATE—SOUL!"
----
"Hey, join our club."
"You mean your cult?"
"So what if it is? You were there That Night at the Mostro Lounge, weren't you?"
"...so Heartslabyul and Savanaclaw already, huh?"
"Oh, man, you should've seen what they did to Leona-san back in October."
----
"Do you think she'll be amicable to private performances?"
"Azul, I can assure you, she'll be willing to do almost anything if it were you, me, Floyd, or any of those parasites she calls friends asking her to."
"Who knew Lil' Shrimpy could do scary~?"
----
Is it terrible that I enjoyed it so much? Maybe I should consider AA's contract to be a regular performer at the Lounge…
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ryuzakemo128 · 2 years ago
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Cosmic
Chapter Five: Mistakes
Trigger Warning/s: Cursing
Possible Pairing: Marianna x Billy Hargrove
Author's Note: I've gotten into a habit of putting little "easter eggs" in reference to other things. If you can spot them let me know.
Chapter Master List: Link
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In the course of time, her dreams became increasingly seamless. At times, it was difficult for her to distinguish one dream from the other, because she could no longer distinguish between the two. She never got the nerve to listen to cassette tapes or even watch video tapes that would have explained things further. She felt as if she was running away from reality rather than facing it head on. The less she knew, the less pain she would experience and the less work she would have to do. There is no doubt that the movies she watched during that period made it clear that this is not how that sort of thing works. The more she watched them, the more she realized that wasn't true.
"I've been trying to see further for the past three days and I've had next to no progress what-so-ever." Marianna complained.
"Yeah, because you're forcing it." Andrea says as she eats her lunch.
"The thing is that I have no intention of forcing it. It happens on its own, but the details don't extend as far as I would like them to." Marianna explained.
"When was the last time you had one of these night terrors?" Darcy asked, air quoting, when he said night terrors.
"Not since Hargrove and Mayfield showed up."
"You're kidding right?" Thea raised an eyebrow.
"No, I wish I was. But I'm not."
"Darcy and I know for fact that a night terror should have happened by now because they usually do. Plus the longest you had without a night terror?"
"It used to be four days, now I can go like three days without a night terror"
"I swear you are forcing them at this point. Which is even weirder since you never liked them in the first place, and now that you have gotten used to them, you are forcing them now, and I really don't like it." Thea rambled in a frantic way.
"How else am I meant to see further into the future if I don't force it to happen?" Marianna asked curiously about what she'd say.
"I don't know, maybe there is something you can do that is less intense?" Thea suggested.
"Like green tea or something?" Marianna asked her.
"Maybe. Just maybe we'll find one that'll help. Just stop forcing the night demons to come out and play" Thea says rather annoyed.
"I don't force them, I just force the amount of what I can see into the future."
"How many days have you seen each time?"
"I've been able to see at least four days into the future so far. But if I try to get past that, I get a headache and my stomach starts hurting. Which happens after I wake up the next day. Which used to happen. Now I can see up to eight days, double what I used to be able to see."
Darcy points out. As he had seen it at least once before. "But you always have a bleeding nose afterwards."
"I also wasn't trying to limit test this thing either. So I'm asking you guys to just trust me on this one."
"We trust you, we just don't like your methods." Andrea said, folding her arms.
"Now that we have turned the subject away from Marianna's night terrors, how about seeing Billy Hargrove? Have you seen him yet?" Andrea asked, trying to turn the conversation into a more positive one instead.
"No, why would I have? I've got enough on my plate without thinking about who the new student is. You know with the night terror stuff, job and studying. Thea, you were checking him out earlier."
"I was so not." Thea blushes slightly.
"You were. I saw you look at him a number of times during Math and during English, and I saw you try to hit on him before we left for lunch."
"I have you know I've had some form of success."
"I know I had to watch because you blocked the doorway." Andrea and Marianna said in unison making Thea that much more flustered.
"Honestly, you were trying harder than you ever did. I mean, do you think he'd hang out with a freak? I mean look at us. Darcy is excluded because he's already in the crowd of popular people." Andrea says to her.
"Andrea is right, we're all freaks here, so Darcy, if the guys in the popular group have anything to say about you, you deserve better because you're friends with freaks." Marianna said dramatically, which made him laugh even harder.
"You're not getting rid of me that quickly." Darcy replied, as he finished his lunch. "If push comes to shove, I'd rather be friends with you than with those guys."
"I think Galina might dump her current boyfriend and try dating Billy. But other than her, I know for a fact that a lot of girls in our grade will be drooling over him. It's not just you two." Marianna realized as she thought about it further.
"Probable, no concrete evidence so far and honestly I don't care to know more about him." Darcy responded. "He made Steve a fool of himself in a basketball game."
"When was this?" Andrea asked him.
Thinking back, Darcy replied, "Yesterday."
"I mean I think he might have a better chance with Maria than with G anyway." Thea states pointing out the fact that Marianna's car is nicer and not to mention her personality would more than likely attract him more.
"Don't count on it happening. Put your fanfiction pencils down and stop thinking about it. It won't happen, it will never come to pass, so help me god."
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"The tapes, I haven't gotten around to even trying to listen to them and I feel like I have put them off each time."
"As far as these tapes are concerned, the problem is that they reveal a lot more than you are emotionally able to handle because of that very fact. I would not recommend listening to them in the same headspace that you find yourself in at the moment." Ms. Kelly said to her as she listened to what she had to say about the tapes Marianna was given to her.
"I'll take that into consideration with them. As for the diet side of things, nothing has changed and most of it would stay the same regardless of whether I was still located in Russia or not. But like I said I'm not heading back there and I have no intention of returning back at least not in the foreseeable future." Marianna explained further about what her trip was like the year before and how she felt about it. "I also have these dreams about what might happen or what could happen if I decided to listen to them. Which deters me from listening to them that much more."
In the meantime, while she was in her counselling session with Ms. Kelly. Her friends were talking about the upcoming party that Marianna wanted to throw. As such, they decided who they didn't want to see at that party.
"Bailey isn't coming to the Halloween party this year." Thea told Andrea.
"Bummer, did she say why?"
"She's grounded for sneaking out past curfew." Thea replied, "Marianna is going to be disappointed though."
"Yeah, another year without her. Galina will show up to one up her again this year." Andrea told her.
"No, not her. They always end up friends again in a stupid drunken haze. It's fucking annoying when it happens." Thea complained.
"I know, that is why we need a back-up plan so that can never happen." Andrea confessed to Thea, Darcy and a few of Marianna's other friends.
"Can't have a repeat of this whole thing because well she's finally able to express herself without having to worry about G complaining about it." Brain said as he sat with them. "I mean if we can pull this off, if we can. We won't worry about that happening. Besides who out of us could drink her under the table or want to even try?"
"How about an invitation-only party?" Marianna suggested as she walked over just in time for their scheming to end.
"Hey Marianna we were just talking about this year's Halloween party. You might be tempted to invite a certain someone and I know you don't like being mean to anyone. We just think we should skip that person this year at least?"
"I mean we didn't get to have one last year, I suppose I can overlook the uncomfortable looks I'm getting for a few minutes. Galina is the one you're hinting at, so yeah. She'll never get invited again after this one either. If that makes you comfortable then I won't invite her."
"You did make sure to get the vodka imported over from Russia right?" Brian asked curiously.
"Yeah. Of course I did. I made sure there is more than enough. I just hope it's not too much." Marianna responded thinking about it more thoroughly. "Although I think my uncle might send over too much."
"Yeah. You did that for my 18th birthday and I still haven't gotten through it all. I will also bring that." Thea remembers it.
"One condition, you have to invite the new guy." Andrea says eyeing him as he walks in.
"Who's this new guy? Why didn't anyone else tell me about him?" Walter glanced at him too.
"I mean we didn't get to have one last year, I suppose I can overlook the uncomfortable looks I'm getting for a few minutes. Galina is the one you're hinting at, so yeah. She'll never get invited again after this one either. If that makes you comfortable then I won't invite her." Marianna says as she combines her lunch, ignoring Andrea and Walter.
"Just like that?" Thea asked baffled.
"Just like that." Marianna replied as she ate her lunch. "You made it sound like it was going to be far more difficult than it was."
"I think it would be fair to say that we have every right to be shocked by this outcome. Aside from the fact that you were never one to single people out, and you avoided confrontation most of the time. So yeah. We have every right to be shocked." Brain gestured with his hand.
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After school had finished, her friends headed home or headed out to after school clubs. Marianna had to go to another one of her kickboxing classes and all she could think about was watching the VHS tapes. But the warning from Ms. Kelly wasn't enough to dissuade her from watching them as soon as she returned home.
She put one of the VHS tapes on to watch. She couldn't shake the feeling that she should see what they were like. Volume one: The truth was written on the tape.
"I know she told me not to watch or listen to any of them yet. But I really want to. Just watching the first one won't hurt. I'm sure it won't hurt if I check out the first one." Marianna says to her cats as if they understand her. "Great talk guys. You're full of great ideas."
The video starts. The first thing she sees is 500 children in stasis chambers. The reason that some of them are empty is that they were subjected to more invasive tests than others. "My child will outlive them. I will ensure it." A young scientist told one of the interviewers.
She was asked, "What about her father? Doesn't he have a say in any of this?"
"What he does not know cannot hurt him." She replied. "Our child will thank us for this gift we have given her. I am certain of it."
"Having noticed the use of these stasis pods, I was wondering if there was a reason why you chose to use them instead of just using normal rooms?"
"There are fifty stasis pods in each room, and the ones that don't survive will be reused. So we can move on to the next one and still have enough room for the children to come in." She explained.
"What is your name if you don't mind me asking?"
"You can call me Katarina." She responded.
"Well Katarina, would you mind showing me what child is the one you told me about?"
"I have made sure that my beloved butterfly is in the last room far away from any impurities that may occur." She said leading him down the hallway that led to room eleven. It had a white door and a gold handle, engraved with the number 011.
It was a liquid stasis pod, as opposed to the ones previously shown where the children were floating in it. The mother used a liquid that seemed to be floating and held the child still with it. There's also one with the engraving of the Seer on it. As the camera scans the stasis pod, we can see how different it looks compared to the other ones. Some of the reasons are because the tank is larger, it can hold more liquid at the same time, and it also appears more solid at the same time. There was something akin to a combination of a cyro pod and a stasis pod in the pod. The subject was not lying in a fetal position like the others. A thick liquid holds them in place.
The woman painted butterfly wings on each side of the tank so that everyone in the building knew not to approach the child. Her mother might have killed them if they approached the tank.
"Butterfly, I brought someone to meet you." Katarina whispers softly.
"She looks so much like you doctor." He says as they enter the room. "I'm sure you've heard that a million times already."
"Not to worry. She's one of the precious little things I have."
Marianna had to pause the tape after her mother said that about her calling her friend Darcy. "Can you come over? I think you need to watch this as much as I do. I don't think I can watch the rest of it on my own." 
"Sure, I can head over there in a few minutes." Darcy replied before also saying, "Didn't you say you were putting those off though?"
"Yeah, until I gave up and thought let's watch it and see what it's about." Marianna explained, "So yeah mistakes were made and that's how I got to this point."
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The next day, Marianna handed out invitations for her Halloween party, further indicating that if you were invited, it meant she wanted to be friends with you.
"Hey Steve, I think it would be pretty cool if you came to my Halloween party this year."
"Yeah, cool. I'll be there." Steve replied.
"Sweet, I'll see you then." Marianna continued on to invite Billy Hargrove, the arrogant hardass in the body of a seventeen year old. She knew he wouldn't show up, but she had to invite the guy anyway because apparently being kind to him was incredibly significant.
"Hi, I would appreciate it if you came to my Halloween party this year."
"Fuck off"
"Well you can either show up, or don't show up. I really don't care." Marianna replied as she walked off leaving the invitation there for him.
Marianna then proceeded to yell out "Thea, it's done. I've done it. Don't ask me to invite him again." Her friend Thea began to blush in total embarrassment after that. She invited more people.
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As the school day came to a close her kickboxing class came closer and closer. Another thing to dread, another thing to worry about because they were going to be held on the school basketball court.
"My manga tournament arc is finally coming up." Marianna thinks to herself.
"Mara, it's almost time." Derek said to her.
"Derek, I'm excited to kick ass and take names." Marianna responded getting pretty excited.
"What the hell are you two doing here?" Billy asked them.
"Not that it is any of your business we're here for kickboxing." Marianna states, "And no he isn't fighting either, I am. He's just my cheerleader."
"What's the matter grump ass? Don't you want to watch me fight?" She yelled out to him as he walked off. Marianna walked in with Derek.
"Gosh, someone is grumpier than I'd imagine." Derek yelled out loud for Billy to hear him.
While the people watching did not think that she would win any of the fights that she participated in throughout the afternoon, she won them all; battles that, if she had lost them, would have looked as if she had lost them, battles that clearly showed that she had an advantage over her opponents regardless of what her opponents thought.
"Told you I could fight." Marianna says to Billy. "So I was thinking, since after everything you might want to show up to that Halloween party."
"Don't answer, you still don't have to. I just thought it might be fun." Marianna said before he made any kind of insult. "I also said it to get the reaction I wanted. Which I got."
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ginacookiecpunk · 2 years ago
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galacticwildfire · 2 years ago
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Illicit Affairs | Obi-Wan Kenobi
Eight
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Obi-Wan Kenobi x Amidala!oc
Rhea Amidala meets Obi-Wan Kenobi when he and his master come to her younger sisters aid and he discovers the queen's sister was once a Jedi, expelled from the order for her unwillingness to forgo love and attachment. The two stranded together on Tatooine find common ground despite their differences, and above all a hope within the other for something greater than themselves.
He hopes for her to rejoin the order, while she hopes for him to leave, and both are left reeling from their illicit affair, until ten years later he is once again called to her sister's service and they are catapulted into each other's lives by a war that will set them on the same path of secrecy and tragedy.
Word count: 6.2k
Tags/warnings: angst, pining, anakin being whiney and obi-wan being tired, obi-wan pov, rhea v Palpatine, yoda being a sassy mf, anakin exposing obi-wan
A/N: whoo time jump, it's time for hello (there) by adele
~
~
~
Obi-Wan
"Obi," her tired voice says as I look out the window of my room, the city illuminating the dark night. "Sweetheart come back to bed."
Another nightmare, another horrid dream that haunts me.
"It's alright darling go back to sleep, I'll be there soon," I tell her but feel her careful hand slip around my waist to hold me. "Don't let me keep you up."
"It's hard to sleep when I know why you're up," she tells me, her voice gentle. "But you don't need to face those nightmares alone, not anymore."
I look back at her and her brown doe eyes are soft, when she looks at me like this I can't help but melt for her knowing the softness in her eyes is reserved for me only. "I love you, you know that right?"
"Well I sure hope so," she says as I take her in my arms, the curls of her hair cascading down her back. "Because I love you too, and that means not having to face the nights alone."
I trace her lips and kiss her slowly, the touch of her burnt into my mind as if its only purpose is to haunt my dreams and I look down at her beautiful face knowing this isn't real.
And yet selfishly I let myself dream for a moment longer as she holds me, melting away the pain and anguish for just a moment as she tells me she loves me.
When I wake that pain comes back even worse.
I thought with time the dreams would fade and yet the more time passes the worse they become. Instead of memories of our time together it's visions of what could have been. Visions of if I fought just a bit harder, if I hid my feelings from her better, if I didn't fail her, if I'd followed Qui-Gon's counsel.
I force myself from bed and make myself a cup of caf, picking up my datapad and flick through the holonews until I stop at the sight of her face, and going against my better judgement I tap on the news coverage, just as I somehow always seem to do regardless of how I try to resist.
That first half a year the coverage of Naboo was everywhere and Rhea was right at the forefront with Padme. Padme does what she can to keep her anonymity, perhaps Rhea decided to step forward for that reason, to give them a face to project so no one became familiar enough with Padme's they'd be able to distinguish her from her handmaidens. Rhea was elected as Princess of Theed not long after the invasion, essentially a mayoral position that left me confused since civil service was never her passion, but it made sense when she began the investigation and since then with the claims regarding the Chancellor her face has again been everywhere.
Back then in those six months, I watched to see that she was alright, happy, to admire her, but also to make sure there were no physical consequences of our night together since my attempts at being safe well... they regrettably disappeared somewhere after midnight along with all other sense.
Perhaps in my moments of doubt and insecurity in those earliest days training Anakin I looked for an out, almost prayed she would come to me to give me a reason to leave, to give Anakin to a master who could train him better than I could. That she would come with the one duty that would be greater than any other, all so I could go back to her, all so I didn't have to confront my own fear of failure. Even now I fear I'm failing Anakin, day by day still having little idea of what I'm doing or if I'm doing it right and I scoff at how I could have ever thought I'd do better by a child of my own.
I know the council doubts my capabilities as well. I know how they expressed disappointed in me when I chased after her when they made the decision to not allow her to return, when they saw what I could not hide well enough. I know in the way they looked at me they saw my Master and believed I'd inherited his disobedience but not his strength. Rhea, she always had the disobedience they hated but the strength to support it, a strength even the council had to admire. That is something I do not have, I never had the strength to go through with my desire to be with her, my disobedience.
And that willingness to disobey, it didn't frighten me enough then in that moment, it would be in the aftermath that it hit me just how truly I'd betrayed my discipline with the parts of myself I'd tried to deny. The anger after my master was struck down, the fear as I watched the sith toy with her and then everything that came afterwards. I was a padawan nobody wanted, not even Master Qui-Gon, and the attributes I hated I thought I'd erased them through sheer discipline and devotion to the force and to code. Oh how I was wrong.
But there she was, telling me my feelings, my fears, everything I'd spent a decade trying to kill were natural, and not only that, she admired them, she saw them and only held me closer. The very moment I allow myself to feel those things, to accept them... again I had to bury them for the code, for Anakin, and still somehow I struggle worse than I ever did before I met her. All because her way of thinking changed mine forever, everything I was raised by the order to believe shattered. It was only then at the very end I finally understood my master, why he resisted the council and went against orders, how he tried so desperately for years to get me to see what Rhea managed to do on that night on Tatooine when we laid under the stars together.
It leaves me torn even now, trying to do what I promised Qui-Gon I would, telling myself she would tell me to do the same, yet I still crave to just hear her say it, to tell me what nobody else will.
And so when I see her face on the holonews I think what more harm can I do to myself by pressing on the article.
"The Lady Rhea Amidala has finished her term as Princess of Theed and will today face the senate as they deliberate on her investigation into the Invasion of Naboo and accusations against the chancellor."
Her face is shown, a recent holopicture of her addressing a crowd on Naboo, her hair in the same simple braid down her back, smiling, dignified, by all appearances happy, fulfilled and yet there is an emptiness in her eyes.
"Following the invasion she was elected by a landslide vote to serve a two year term as Princess of Theed and despite calls for her to succeed her sister as the second Queen Amidala she has instead taken up the newly formed mantel of General, leading the controversial militarisation of Naboo despite resistance from politicians."
I smile to myself, able to imagine how hard she must have fought for it. I can hear her now staring down a room of old politicians, cursing each of them out as she did with the council and giving them no possible space to refuse her. While I was surprised to hear she did not run to succeed Padme despite how many wanted her to it made sense to me, she's always been a protector, never the protected. 
She knows she can do more as a maverick general than she ever could as a queen bound by the rules and opinions of a council she is meant to listen to, much like Qui-Gon, and suddenly I understood why he never joined the council. If Rhea ever became queen I dare say it would be the closest thing to authoritarian rule they've had knowing her tendency to take charge instead of deliberating.
It's then live holonews is suddenly projected and reporters are filming her disembarking her ship and it's only then I realise that she is here, just across the city from me.
She's here.
There's a knock at the door and I drop my holopad in a haste to bury the evidence of what I was watching as if it was some forbidden holovid, but thankfully it's only Anakin who enters.
"Master, I was told to come and find you."
I look at my barely touched cup of caf before sighing "What for Anakin?"
"I don't know, but the council wants to see you."
Oh no, not good.
"Alright, you go and make sure you eat your breakfast and I'll find you after."
"Yes Master," he says, happy his only order at hand is to go and stuff his face full of food and I ready myself to face the council.
It can't be a coincidence they are asking to see me the moment she arrives, surely it wouldn't be a warning against seeing her. I know they suspected me of having an attachment to her, well more than suspected, but I have not acted on it since that day. Just as with Satine, they knew my feelings but I gained their trust as I did my duty and to their knowledge did not act on them. A year of longing and one night with her before we parted and years more of loving her from afar.
Then came Rhea.
Qui-Gon had taunted me not long before we went to Naboo about 'kickstarting unlikely romances with the local nobility' and then again when we'd reached Coruscant after he'd caught us out onboard the Queen's ship but when he sensed a vergence in the force his taunting quickly seized and realised my lack of self control when it came to Rhea was different to what it had been with Satine. 
I had made peace with loving Satine from afar, knowing our duties took precedence over our feelings, and even now I struggle with the guilt of having loved another.
At the time the feelings I had for Rhea shocked me and left me senseless, the intensity of them was unlike anything else I've ever felt. A burning passion and need rather than quiet and gentle devotion. At first I wanted to believe what she did, that I was seeing Satine in her, two remarkable and difficult women, even now I've tried to tell myself that is all it was.
But that would be a lie.
Every moment with her is engrained in my mind, fighting together and then each other and then together again. Satine and I, it always felt as if we were from completely different worlds, polar opposites with a shared understanding of what our duty was.
Rhea destroyed everything I believed in, from love to the force itself, laying there together under the stars and then watching the sun rise I found an understanding with her I'd never had before.
I felt as if I'd met my match with her, and since then it feels as if I've been missing a part of me. For just a moment that night together we were one in a way I never knew could be possible, as if for the first time I was truly feeling the entirety of the force through her, with her.
And there's been an ache left in its place ever since.
~
When I arrive at the council chambers, my suspicions are indeed confirmed.
"You asked to see me masters?"
"Rhea Amidala has arrived here and is due to face the senate later this afternoon," Master Windu begins and it's all I can do not to let myself reveal anything her name evokes, and especially not the fact I was already aware of this. "We hold concerns that there may be unrest due to the nature of her visit, we ask that you go to the senate and keep an eye on things."
The request certainly catches me off guard. "Are you asking me to follow her?"
"We are asking you to watch the proceedings and report to us what your intuition tells you," Master Windu elaborates and I notice how Master Billaba's eyes fall as he says "You had a close and deep understanding of Rhea Amidala and we must know if there is a risk of a plot against the Chancellor due to the serious nature of her allegations towards him."
"My intuition tells me these accusations are not false," I tell them, having been there when she saw he'd become Chancellor. I've always distrusted politicians and from the start of this scandalous investigation I'd always supported Rhea's accusations, having even debated at several times sending her a letter of support but deeming it a poor idea. "It is her duty to investigate the invasion and her investigation has clearly led her to suspect his involvement."
"Regardless, tensions are high and we need someone to be there and if needed to de-escalate the situation," Windu says and I realise the true concern behind it and the own accusation in his voice.
"You believe she is a threat?" I gape and look at her former master.
"Possibly, as much as we believe that there could be a threat to her," she answers, not liking this situation as much as I do. "If anything were to occur it was my suggestion you be the one to intervene as she holds you in her highest respects, certainly more than any member of the council."
I stand there uncomfortable at the insinuation and Master Windu says "Unless absolutely necessary we recommend you to not speak with her."
And that defiance creeps back into me as I ask "And why would that be?"
"Know well you do why," Yoda remarks, and I keep my mouth shut. "Report back to us you will."
"Yes Master," I say and leave knowing that for the first time since she kissed me goodbye I'm going to set eyes on her.
The council has given me this assignment not just because I know her, but as a test that I will not let the attachment they sensed interfere with my orders.
And I know that this is a test I may not pass.
~
Rhea
In the grand scheme of things, this is a terrible terrible idea that took a flask of whatever I had left in my ship to get me here and yet here I am standing outside the Jedi Temple.
The last time I ever saw him was as I kissed him goodbye and tore myself away before I could put either of us in anymore pain than we already were and here I am against every better judgement I have.
But I need him to tell me this is the right thing, that if the order won't take me back I should not think twice about accepting Dooku's offer no matter how treasonous the council may deem it.
With my hood drawn well over my head I climb the stairs, aiming to remain unrecognised. People from outside the order visit often to access the archives, scholars, historians, scientists even, so nobody questions me as I walk through the great hall.
The man who trained Qui-Gon is asking me to be his apprentice, and the only person I can trust with this is here in this temple. I need guidance, and there is no one else who can give it.
Hell I just need him.
Except first I have to actually find him and so I approach a young unexpecting padawan, a Togruta girl of about seven no doubt on her way to lessons.
"Hello," I smile. "Have you seen Obi-Wan Kenobi?" She doesn't recognise the name and I ask "Or Anakin Skywalker?" She nods and points to one of the doors leading out into the gardens. "Thank you."
Quickly I move on before anyone looks too closely and walk out into the gardens, it's early enough in the morning many are doing morning meditations or other lessons inside and cautiously I make my way around, staying close to the temple.
I hide behind a corner at the sound of saber training nearby.
Nothing could have prepared me for the sound of his voice after all this time.
"Do not focus on predicting and let yourself feel," I hear Obi-Wan advising Anakin and my heart stops in my chest, and suddenly I'm shaking. "The moment you let go of the worries in your mind and feel the force flow through you it will come easier."
"Master, we've been doing this for an hour," Anakin complains. "Can we do something else?"
"No," Obi-Wan sighs in frustration and I smile to myself. "Tomorrow we will, but for today this is your training."
"Is this what Master Qui-Gon did with you?" Anakin asks being smart and the offence is clear in Obi-Wan's voice.
"I did whatever my master told me to do," Obi-Wan answers, and I can't bring myself to look, just listening to him is agony enough. "And he would be telling you to do the same."
But then the boys voice quietens "Sometimes I miss Master Qui-Gon."
It's then I dare to peek and see Obi-Wan with his back to me, putting a hand on Anakin's shoulder. His figure is unmistakeable although his hair is longer, showing an auburn colour I'd never noticed when it was so short. 
"So do I Anakin, but we must not get upset."
"Why not?" he asks him, becoming defensive. "I remember you were upset when we left Naboo after the funeral."
My stomach sinks at those words and Obi-Wan struggles for an answer "Well... you have a good memory Anakin."
"I miss Padme too," he tells Obi-Wan almost defiantly, the kid still in love with my sister. "I see her on the holonews sometimes when we're in the city and I just want to watch her, to know that she's okay."
"Well Anakin," Obi-Wan sighs and he sits down beside his apprentice, their backs still to me and I'm glad because I think if I saw his face I'd break down. "It is okay to miss people, and to wonder if they're happy and safe, but we must not dwell on those thoughts."
Anakin looks at him and asks "Do you miss her sister?"
The panic in Obi-Wan's voice answers every question I've had "Why would you ask that?"
"Because I remember how happy you were when you said she'd be coming home with us, and then she didn't," he says and asks "Do you watch her on the holonews too to see if she's happy?"
I'm frozen in place, suddenly questioning what moment of madness led me to sneak into the temple and put myself here and his answer only makes it worse.
"I do, and like you miss Padme I miss Rhea but their place is on Naboo and ours is here. While we miss them we must not let ourselves remain attached," he councils, sounding every bit the perfect Jedi. "When you wonder how she is you must tell yourself she is happy, even if you are not with her, even if you miss her, know that she is happy. You see Padme on the holonews, she is doing her duty to her people just as we must do ours to the order."
"But do you ever wish you'd chosen differently?" he asks and confides in Obi-Wan. "Sometimes I wish I was still with my mom, sometimes I... sometimes I think of leaving."
I swear I can feel Obi-Wan's heart stop at those words and his voice is uneven "Anakin... I understand what it is to want to leave."
"You do?" Anakin exclaims, no doubt shocked his perfect master isn't so perfect by Jedi standards.
"Yes," he sighs and I can feel it now through the force, the pain, the regret. "I know what it is to have regrets, but I have seen both sides of it, have longed to leave and yet seen what has happened to those who did, such as Padme's sister and have felt the regrets she had."
Regrets that I was too stubborn to admit to him, but he knew.
"Why didn't she come back then?" Anakin asks as if it was that simple.
"Because the council would not allow it," he tells Anakin sadly. "But I trust that she has continued her training now she has been allowed to keep her saber, I hope that she has and that she is at peace with the force." His next words are all I need to hear "I only wish I could have had enough time to help her find that path, but I trust that she's no doubt found it herself."
With those words I force myself to move back towards the temple, abandoning whatever horribly thought out plan I had to meet him and tell him I need his counsel, that he's the only one I trust to help me with a decision as great as this. I need to do this myself. He has done his part, he has devoted himself to duty and I cannot be selfish enough to screw that up for him because I'm panicking, because I can't stop missing him.
Because I love him.
I need to make this decision myself, I can't throw myself back into his life no matter how badly I just want to hear him tell me I'm doing the right thing, that Qui-Gon would have told me to accept this. He hopes I've found the path that finally I've rediscovered and I know I may never get another chance to walk it.
Even yet as I run from the temple I know deep down that isn't the reason I brought myself here, no it was far more selfish. That it was not just his counsel I truly wanted but to hear that he's missed me as badly as I've missed him and that he too realised too late that we were in love.
I can't do that to him, I can't tear him from his duty when Anakin himself is having doubts. He couldn't bring me back, but he can do right by Anakin, and that is more important than what we feel.
Despite the pain he's made peace with the impossibility of us, and now I must as well.
I have to.
~
Obi-Wan
The halls of the senate building are busy, no one looks at me twice as I make my way through, wanting to be close enough to keep an eye on her in case there is indeed a threat to her. She is one of the most controversial figures in the galaxy with this investigation and the claims Palpatine was behind the invasion.
It only stands to reason someone would seek to silence her and if she isn't armed it could end badly. But something tells me if someone attacked her while she was armed it would end far worse for them and that by all probability she is most certainly going to be illegally armed.
Which is why I'm worried, and I'm finally beginning to understand why the council sent me here.
"Master Kenobi," a voice says and I look to see Bail Organa, an ally of Naboo's and a senator I've become half acquainted with, one of the few politicians I don't mind. "It is a surprise to see a Jedi in the senate."
"Yes well I am on assignment," I say and ask "Would you be able to point me towards the seat for Naboo?"
He quickly realises I am here out of safety concerns "Yes, I certainly can. Two floors above us Lady Amidala should be preparing for the senate to convene."
"Thank you senator."
I move to the lift and find myself anxious as I ascend to the floor, cautiously I step out of the elevator intending to stay hidden, and I'm caught unaware when suddenly a woman marches out from the other lift clad in robes of red, commanding attention and burning with an intensity only my Rhea can.
"My lady I must advise you to simply accept that the investigation will not reach the conclusion you would like," Naboo's senator advises her and it's clear she has received bad news.
"My investigation reached the conclusion that is the truth," she argues with him and the sound of her voice after so long kills me. "I am sorry you and the senate do not like the truth but you'll just have to get over it."
And there she is, as fierce as ever. Dressed in elaborate Naboo royal fashion, indicative of the new status she has forged for herself since the invasion, looking more like Queen Amidala than the girl I found wandering the streets of Theed dressed for combat. 
"Still, take your dignity with you and leave with grace."
"That has never worked in my favour," she tells him and I know that is what she did in leaving me, taking her dignity and grace with her. But now I wonder if she truly felt as composed as she tried to convince me of. By the bitterness in her words I now know the truth. "What is dignity and grace compared to the insufferable weight and regret of having not spoken the truth?"
There is an ache in her that confirms what I suspect her great regret is and I wonder now if she was as utterly distraught as I was, if she wanted to ask the same question I waited for.
If she wanted to ask me to leave with her.
And perhaps it is a mercy she left with grace instead of asking me to leave with her because I know what my heart would have answered even if my mind was torn between the thought of being with her and my duty to Anakin.
Perhaps she knew too, and that is why she never asked it of me.
"Your truth you mean."
With those words she turns back to look at him and finally I see her face, structured and adorned with makeup similar to her sisters but not as heavy, letting the golden hues of her skin shine through and even now she burns as brightly as ever. Her hair no longer in a long braid down her back as I remember it always being but in a crown around her head, a red line down her lips with red dots on her cheeks. It's only now I'm seeing her as nobility, royalty, and not just as a Jedi.
"You are here to advise me through the senatorial proceedings, not to question the results of a years long investigation," she scolds and I suddenly find myself shrinking back to where I am certainly unseen. She is indeed as hot tempered as I remember, and I certainly remember what it's like to be in the firing line of an ideological argument with her. "These are your last weeks in office, do use them to speak the truth instead of shirking from it or concealing it as your predecessor did."
I'm as proud as I am afraid of her, and maker knows I want to kiss her as much as I want to hide, but know I cannot compromise her composure in such an important moment. As if that's the only reason I shouldn't be thinking the thoughts I am.
"Or will you remove me from my position as you had my son removed?" he asks her and she looks strangely satisfied and it makes sense when he says "You struck him and broke his hand!"
"And he'll remember that next time he wishes to patronise a woman and lay hand on her," she says proudly. "And really Horace? You're trying to find your arrogant prick of a son a wife and you make the mistake of sending him my way?"
Well I suppose that answers my question of if she's found anyone else, it shouldn't surprise me she's purposefully scaring off anyone that looks at her in a way she doesn't like.
"A mistake indeed," he says and I watch as she happily marches off, her dress flowing behind her as she enters the senate chamber and I hear him sigh "God help the next senator."
I find myself in agreement there and move to the viewing gallery to keep an eye on proceedings from above since I cannot get a clear view anywhere else.
But from the moment proceedings start, it's clear she isn't going to get the justice she seeks.
"The senate has a split vote on the motion to consider the findings of the investigation," the moderator says and I watch her shake her head. "It will be referred to the Chancellor for the final vote."
But she speaks up and asks "How can the Chancellor be the deciding vote on an investigation on which he is the subject?" There are murmurs from around the room and I watch in concern as she continues. "How is that democratic? That the man at the centre of an investigation can decide to dismiss it!"
There are calls for order and the chancellor finally speaks.
"It should be known to the senate that Lady Amidala is a troubled woman," Palpatine begins and I watch her eyes burn. "She was expelled from the Jedi Order at the mere age of fourteen for the crime of murder."
With those words her reputation should be destroyed but I watch her fake horror at those words, as if she had been prepared for them "That is a very serious allegation to make Chancellor and one that truly wounds me. I am just a young woman trying to help my people and you accuse me of being a cold blooded murderer?" 
She even manages to inflict pain in her voice and one thing is for certain, she's become self aware of the power she can have when she dresses a certain way and abuses the fact she is a beautiful young woman, feigning innocence better than she could otherwise. I know that killing the slave owner wasn't an act of cold blooded murder, but she is far from innocent and she's never pretended otherwise. At least not to me but this is the senate after all.
"I only speak the truth," the Chancellor says but the senate has taken pity on her and he knows it. "I advise you to do the same."
She puts a hand on her chest as she says "I was expelled for the crime of having too much love in my heart to adhere to their code." I stand there surprised at the show she puts on. "For loving my family who were imprisoned during the invasion, for loving my dear sister the Queen who was put in an impossible position to save our people when the senate decided to deliberate on the matter of a would be genocide!"
Is this the public image she's curated? Behind closed doors she is very much still herself but in public she is every bit graceful and generous as her sister, although with far less restraint, I've seen glimpses of it in footage of her public appearances but never like this. Never caring what anyone thought of her.
"Innocent people were tortured and killed on the Trade Federations orders whilst you ran your campaign for office! So please Chancellor, stand here now and address the atrocity that occurred instead of fueling such cruel rumour and do your duty to our people who have suffered tremendously in condemning the Trade Federation and admitting your part in it."
She has learned from being in the public eye long enough now that an angry woman does not have the same affect as an angry man, and so she appeals to their hearts instead of arguing how she no doubt wishes she could. Palpatine wants to paint her as a troubled and hysterical woman to stir doubt, and she has foiled his plan brilliantly. She has always been brilliant I've just never seen her use her mind to fool an entire senate. 
She might have the politicians of Naboo terrified but she has certainly learned from Padme how to forge herself in the public eye, even if the person she is playing is a disguise in itself. Dressed royally, playing the part of the Princess of Theed, a beautiful and tragic woman who just wants to help her people. Not a warrior who wants justice and would single handedly berate every last person who stands against her if given the opportunity.
"Very well," the Chancellor says and I can feel the displeasure in his voice at having someone out-manipulate the senate. "As Chancellor I have read the findings of your investigation, and have found many of your accusations to be utterly baseless conspiracy therefore I will not pass the motion. I will accept that the Trade Federation made an error, but there is simply no further action to be taken and I have dismissed this investigation as we have far more important matters to deliberate on."
"An error?" she repeats, her facade slipping. "How is invasion and mass imprisonment of innocent men, women and children a mere error? How is the torture of the Queen's staff for information an error?" It's then she addresses the senate and I realise what she's doing, she knows the investigation will be dismissed, but she wants to stir as much discourse amongst the senators as she can. "Children were being grouped into camps by battle droids and the senate responds with mild sanctions that have already lost their effect. I demand true consequence for the Trade Federation!"  She raises a copy of the report high for them all to see "In this report is all the evidence needed to substantiate the claims that have been made, it would be a miscarriage of justice for the Chancellor to not pass the motion to have them seen and considered by the senate!"
It's as voices begin to raise alongside others in the senate I realise just why I was sent here and have a hand over my saber. It's then her facade of the noble and calm tempered Princess is utterly shattered and there is the Rhea I know.
"And yet the Chancellor who claims to have had no part in this defends them and refuses to even have the evidence in these findings publically heard!" She looks at the Chancellor as the senate goes into an uproar and I can see it in her eyes, a victory. "This is a disgrace to democracy, how can a man dismiss an investigation in which he has been found liable! I dare say this is a representation of the fragile state of what the Republic's democracy has become and the Chancellor should be dismissed from office!"
My eyes widen at that statement, she's always been an idealist ideologically but to stand before the senate and claim the republic has failed democratically... I can finally see the sheer anger in her she's fought to conceal. She's always been an extremist in her beliefs regarding the order, I just didn't know the extended to the Republic as a whole.
"Order!" the moderator orders as the senate erupts into what can at best be called heated debate and at worst a riot and there is almost a smile on her face as she becomes an agent of true chaos. "The Lady Amidala is dismissed from the senate chamber!"
The senator for Naboo is absolutely horrified as she returns their pod to the dock and marches out of the senate, it's then without a second thought I begin pushing through the viewing gallery to get to the levels below to catch her before she disappears. There is not a thought in my head, only the need to see her but by the time I make it to the level she was on she isn't there and the senate is still in chaos. I'm running out the side door of the senate building and find an equally chaotic crowd at its doors, having been watching the broadcast.
The senate may be cursing her, but the crowd- the crowd is the one screaming prophanities at the senate. She knew what she was doing, and it worked.
I'm searching the crowd and my eyes find the hanger outside the senate chambers where security guards are holding the crowd back, and I'm pushing through when I spot her red figure heading for her ship under the escort of armed Naboo security guards.
"Rhea!" I call out from in the crowd and she looks back but her eyes fail to find mine before she is pulled on board the ship and the ramp raises.
And again I stand there in defeat as I watch her leave.
No less painful than the last. 
And somehow I feel in that moment as if I've failed her.
~
Rhea
Perhaps hearing his voice was an omen, but it did little to stop me as I made my way to Serenno, having seen the senate in its worst form. I played the part of the noble princess, appealing for their sympathies when I knew my anger would be used against me. 
If there is a victory in this it's that Palpatine could not humiliate me.
Dooku is in his office waiting for me, my decision having been made the moment Palpatine tried to ruin me. Obi-Wan said himself he hopes I've found my path as a Jedi, this is the right choice.
It has to be.
"Your show was most impressive," Dooku tells me. "I believe you have more than demonstrated your potential to play a key role in what is to come."
"What is to come?" I repeat, but somehow I already knew.
"All will come to be revealed in time," he assures me. "I trust you've made your decision."
"I have," I declare, and yet couldn't deny the sinking feeling in my stomach. "Master."
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sinistershepherd · 2 years ago
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UUUHHHH. NAME A TIME THAT MOON HAD A LIKE, REALLY BAD EPISODE?? OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. BUT MAYBR LITTLE DID HE KNOW A GROUP OF KIDS OR OR SUNNY EITHER SNUCK AROUND AND WITNESSED IT???? WHAT HAPPENED??? MAYBE???
I’m going to guess by episode you mean PTSD? If so, here we go!
-Written in story format-
———
Moon kept his struggles in a tight bubble, making sure that they were always within reach, easy enough to hide while also easy enough to control. Finding ways to navigate his newest issues became scarce, as returning to his duties but pressure on him that he never considered might arise, did he return to being the naptime attendant.
The smallest paper cuts could make him freeze, muttering quietly that Sun should handle it, despite Moon being more gentle and calm during those types of interactions. He couldn’t handle seeing the kids in such distress. A singular drop of blood can bring it all back in hazy waves that force him to dismiss himself, shaking, holding his head as reality twists into yet another sick delusion.
Then he gets frustrated, because that all should be behind him, right? Taking even a moment away from the kids gives a chance for that guilt to set in, making him think that they would all sport horrified expressions the moment he re-enters the room. Sun has started to give him concerned looks, now that his disappearances are becoming more frequent.
Moon remains silent about his troubles. The memories should subside, he just needs more time, right? He dares not mention this to staff, as he can already predict their annoyed expressions, muttering about how ‘this thing’ has yet another problem.
Some days are better than others. The memories can become more intense, grabbing hold of emotions so extreme that he didn’t even know he could feel them to such an extent. Other days, they are quiet, with smaller reminders here and there that do nothing more than unsettle him, at most. He has learned which days are which before the daycare opens, as organizing the naptime corner is usually enough time for his processor to fully wake up and distinguish past from present.
Today is a bad day.
The worst day. He feels sick, trapped by things he can no longer see, yet his visions give him a perfect replica of the hell that he witnessed for so long. He feels as if he is stuck all over again.
He keeps it together for most of the day. Then, Sun steps aside for a moment to gather a few extra boxes of crayons, as, apparently, the last few have disappeared. Moon gives him a small nod, but inside, he’s nervous.
He knows why the second one of the children lets out a yelp and then begins to cry. He turns, staring blankly as one of the older kids stands over their younger sibling, smiling deviously, yet sporting an annoyed expression at the smaller child’s wailing.
“That’s enough! Stop, stop-“ Moon shouts, startling the kids as he moves forwards, nudging the bully aside with a little bit more force than he intended- in a dramatic show of theatrics that Moon doesn’t know is fake, the older child tumbles over and grapples onto their arm, letting out a loud scream as if physically struck. Moon’s hands pause over the younger kid, who is still crying, hands out and grasping tightly onto a couple of Moon’s fingers.
I’ve done it again, haven’t I?
Moon pulls his hand from the grasp of the child, watching blood spread out across his palm, eyes wide with horror as it begins to spread onto the kid, the poor kid, what have I done?
Said child only begins to cry harder as Moon pulls back, but all he sees is a scared kid, covered in blood, cowering beneath him.
“What is going on?” Sun’s voice breaks Moon from his trance, and, in a panic, the lunar animatronic staggers to his feet, over to his brother, and grasps him by the shoulders.
“They fought, and…one, one pushed the other, I tried to stop it but I-“ Moon stammers, hands shaking as Sun listens in stunned silence.
“Moon? Moon, you’re overheating- what’s going on, what’s wrong?” Sun’s voice doesn’t sound angry, for some reason, instead, filled with worry as his own hands come out to steady Moon, because suddenly, suddenly the voices of furious parents raise into shouts all around him, closing in like wolves, like WOLVES, hunting, killing, taking him away and-
Warning: System failure imminent - Heat level exceeding controllable levels.
What? When did that happen?
“MOON!” Sun winces, pulling back the slightest bit from his brother’s overbearing warmth, but that seems to be a mistake, because everything is spinning and Moon can’t tell up from down. Bloody handprints cover the play-structures, moving in trail-like patterns, like a spider patrolling it’s web for prey.
His handprints, all over the daycare, drenched in the lives of innocent people. Stalking about an area that should be safe for yet more victims.
The soft click that the cable makes when it descends stops above him. Dangerously sharp claws move down, grasping at his faceplate, his wires, his very existence being torn apart before his eyes. He blearily looks up, meeting bright red eyes laced with murderous intent and blind, unfiltered joy.
“Good night~”
His voice from months before, ragged tones, like invisible ants had marched single file into his voice box and started nibbling on everything in sight.
Sun’s voice is distant as he darts to his brother’s side, begging things Moon cannot hear. He slowly guides his lunar counterpart to the floor, then, his sight flickers, and Moon does, in fact, go good night.
———
Let’s just say that no one handles it very well. I already have a part two planned out, where things are actually solved! If you would like, I’ll finish this little ficlet out!
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killerskillercaptain · 3 years ago
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Applause
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pairing : Levi Ackerman x Reader
wc : 1.8 k
themes : the ceremony honoring Levi's squad (including you) after the reclaim of Shiganshina went wrong, angst, hurt, comfort.
warnings : angst and hate
A soft light drenched your silhouette standing in front of the mirror. Inspecting yourself, you flatted out any crease on your long army jacket while arranging the collar of your shirt. You stood there staring at the image reflected to you : you looked put together, but your face still reminded you of everything that happened just days ago. Retaking Shiganshina didn't feel like a victory at all. With all that was lost, there was no praise, no glory, no nothing, only a bitter sweet sense of accomplishment, more torturing than satisfying.
You looked at the bags under your eyes, at the cuts lacerating the side of your face, even though you've been granted enough sleep and medical care to recover, you were still exhausted, and you could still see that dark cloud veiling your eyes, images of hell still flashing in front of you.
You heard a small knock on the door of the quarters you have been assigned to. It was time to go, the ceremony was about to start.
You shouted a weak but audible "yes" before heading out of the room. When you opened the wooden door , you were met by two even more tired eyes.
Levi
"They're waiting for us"
You walked side by side in the sumptuous corridors, you were in the capital and inside this part of the walls, everything looked so lavish that you felt out of place. You didn't exchange any word for a long moment until Levi broke the silence by asking if you were able to rest.
"Not really no"
By the way he stayed silence after you answered his question, you understood that it was the same for him.
The reason you weren't able to rest was the anticipation, no, the dread you felt in regards to this ceremony. With the suicidal charge Erwin commended causing the death of so many soldiers, both young and older ones, all of you who had survived this, felt sick to your stomach, you were all eaten by a sentiment that vastly resembled guilt. You, the rest of Levi's squad and Levi himself being the ones always coming back alive started to sound like a bad sonata to the ears of the population, they would rather see their sons, daughters, cousins and husbands coming back rather then the ones who always manages to make it, so eventually, you were expecting the worst to come out of this ceremony, and you felt that this honoring event was gonna put you all on an unwelcoming spotlight.
Approaching the great doors of the ceremonial chamber, all of you hesitated to to enter as the guards invited you in.
-----
You were totally right, the moment the heavy and palatial looking doors opened to welcome you, you were met by very concerned looks. Soldiers and other various members as well as government big heads were undressing you with disapprobation, you felt your heart tighten, all of you already felt horrible enough that you cursed those blaming looks for adding more weight to your already busted shoulders.
Levi's name was called first to be given his medal, impassive as usual, Levi climbed up the stairs to where Historia stood solemnly, each one of his steps followed by a horrible comment directed at him, sometimes in a low voice, sometimes not.
"How come they're always the one coming back"
"Yeah, nothing ever happens to them how come ?"
"I bet they throw the young recruits and the less competent ones right into the titans mouths so they can protect their lives"
"I guess they don't put their lives on the line so much to be able to always come back in one piece".
"This is Levi, he can take on anything, heh, must be nice to be invincible"
Some of the comments being whispered were down right nasty and they were all directed to Levi.
Of all the people, the captain was the one to whom was directed the messiest of remarks. Everyone knew he was the strongest soldier alive, and they hated him for this exact same reason.
Seeing how Levi manages to stay composed and be able to dismiss these comments made your heart ache, you realized he must have heard them so many times to be able to ignore them like this. You knew the captain, you knew that he actually cared but had to learn not to, you felt bad realizing that this became familiar to him.
You felt so bad for the fallen ones, your heart was still mourning them to this instant but you couldn't possibly describe how gut wrenching you felt seeing Levi having to bear all the weight of the culpability people unrightfully put on him.
You clenched your fists, closed your eyes and told yourself that it was going to pass, like all the other times.
You haven't been this targeted by hate yourself, but now you were put on this unwanted pedestal and everyone could see who were the usual lucky ones, and you could feel yourself being put on the the condemning spot as it was your turn to be called and climb those cursed stairs.
You kneeled before Historia, feeling her hands ghost over your head as she put and secured the medal around your neck, repeating the same careful but solemn gestures for the second time.
"They don't deserve the medals !" shouted a particularly angry red haired youngster.
More whispers could be heard now from different parts of the ceremonial room, enough to fill the spacious chamber. Small groups started forming, their chatter was now all you could distinguish. Some were agreeing while others were quizzical, you could hear the people's subtle judgements but all you could feel was your hands becoming sweaty and an incredibly uncomfortable heat, filling your head. You already felt bad enough, you already felt undeserving enough, you already felt guilty enough, why did they have to be so-
do they not know what war is like ?
"This Arlert recruit shouldn't have been the one to be saved ! Levi's duty should have been to keep the commander alive !" spat the red-haired young man, emotion seemingly making his blood boil.
You could only stand where you were at the top of the stairs, looking at this seemingly unsatisfied and outraged human, making you doubt every single choice you made back there, you wrapped your hand over the medal holding it tightly, trying to ground yourself.
"Enough !"
It was Levi who spoke this time, putting a hand over the boy's shoulder, understanding yet firm enough for the young soldier to turn around and face the shorter man.
"A lot of tough decisions had to be made back there, if there's anyone who wants Erwin to be present with us today more than anyone, it's me."
You felt yourself trembling listening to the captain instill some sense of understanding to the soldier who seemed to try and contain his rage, even if he didn't look convinced with Levi's words. He seemed to have already judged you all as guilty.
"It wasn't an easy choice to choose Armin, it was an even harder decision to let Erwin go, but his woman out there, you say she doesn't deserve that medal, maybe, maybe none of us do, but she and all the others faced hell back in Shiganshina and had to make the toughest of choices. You're still young, but if you ever make it, you will be met with the same inconceivable decisions we did, so the least you could do is show some respect."
Levi ended his speech with a firm tone that made everyone observe a ponderous silence and just like that, every person in the room understood that the talk was over.
Soon everyone made their way to the great halls, you were informed by some subordinates that honorary soldiers would be awaited at the great dinning hall, this news made Jean and Connie start chatting vigorously about how this was the least they could do for them, both of them trying to cheer Armin up, the poor boy looked beaten down and quite affected by the guilt tripping going on in there some minutes ago.
He wasn't the only one affected by what happened in the ceremonial room, you were still trying to calm your beating heart and your pounding head, still feeling quite light-headed. The crowd, the heat, the mischievous and unforgiving gossiping, even though the ceremonial chamber was one of the largest space you've seen, you felt almost claustrophobic in there, surrounded by so many people who blamed you all for getting a chance to live longer. Your already blood-shot eyes were all watery, they stared watering when the ceremony got interrupted and you could swear Levi noticed it when you were heading towards the halls because he kept looking at you directly
"I'll be back, i'll go breathe some fresh air outside" you waved at Jean, Connie, Armin and the others, Levi had long disappeared from your view and you didn't see which direction he went so you assumed he was with Hange.
You turned around and took the opposite direction of the hall, where there were two massive gates. They were opened on an incredibly well maintained garden. When you sat foot on the marbled path you were met with gigantic and well kept trees, all sorts of trees, with even more gigantic walls guarding the property. Each wall had an impressive amount of lush greenery drapped all over them.
You walked to the wall that was the further away from the gates and stood there, your back against it. And right there, once you were sure no one would observe you, you let it all out. Within seconds, you felt heavy damp pearls making their way through your burning cheeks before landing everywhere, your shirt, your jacket, your leather boots, the soil beneath you. You weeped silently, your head suddenly empty from being too crammed seconds ago. You were ready to weep some more if it wasn't for a light touch that brushed you.
Levi was standing by your side looking at your burnt cheeks, swollen lips and red eyes.
"Don't let it get to you" he said.
"Your guilt doesn't justify their anger" he added, resting against the wall. "Yes they're angry, that's what wars do, they stir anger, pain and resentment. Everything humans don't like to be reminded of"
"Let's honor their death with the decisions we will make" he added putting a comforting hand on your shoulder, at which your heart fluttered a bit to your own surprise.
He pushed himself off the wall, hands in his pockets and headed for the gates as the familiar smell of food being cooked started filling the air, only here, even the food smelled expensive. You followed Levi into the hall, walking by his side as he silently invited you to. Heading for the dinning hall, you felt a great amount of solace being in his presence, and right now, he would never know how thankful you were to have each other's shoulders to lean on when the whole world was up against you two.
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suchalonelysunflower · 4 years ago
Text
You Said Forever (c.h)
Pairing: Calum Hood x Reader
Requested: Yes!
Summary: Based on the song “Driver’s License” by Olivia Rodrigo. You did everything you could to get over him, you talked to friends, went on long drives and even wrote him a song. Why cant you just let him go?
Warnings: Angst. Language. Mentions of alcohol. Some grammar mistakes? (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)
Word count: 6.7 k
Author’s Note: I’m so excited someone requested this! I highly recommend listening to the song before you read, references are in the text and dialogs. Please remember that Reblogs, Coments, Feedback and Likes are more than welcome and encouraged! You don’t know how much they help me 💕 Hope you like it and Happy reading 🦋
Fic of the week // My Materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?
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@rime-warrior : Hey love! Has anyone requested an imagine for Calum based on the song “Drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo yet? I think you’re the only one who would be able to do it any justice 😭💕
“I still see your face in the white cars, front yards
Can't drive past the places we used to go to
'Cause I still fucking love you, babe”
You could hear the doorbell ring over the thunderous storm raging outside. It was late, probably closer to midnight than you imagined. Who could possibly be outside right now? especially in this kind of weather?
After four consecutive rings, you decided to get up from your spot on the bed and walk up to the door. It must be something very important for someone to startle you that way.
Once you got closer to the door you could also distinguish some strong bangs coming from the other side accompanied by the endless ringing “Okay, okay! I’m coming!” You called, but whoever was standing opposite to you mustn’t have heard you as they continued to disrupt the peace of a stormy night.
A shiver ran down your spine before you could reach the doorknob, almost like the ghost of a feeling, a warning for you not to open the door. Despite your common sense, you decided to open the door, already being too late to go back.
“Calum?”
He was standing in front of you, completely drenched from head to toes. His breathing was uneven, almost like he ran all the way over here, but his eyes were set on yours, unmoving as you both tried to take each other in.
“Calum-what is?-” Your words got stuck in your mouth as he pushed himself forward, grabbing your face delicately as he clashed his lips with yours.
You felt yourself melt into the kiss, making it everything you ever wished for. You wrapped your arms around his neck and deepened the kiss as you brought him closer to you. He was here, he was finally here with you. It all feels like a dream.
Your alarm clock marked 6 AM when you jumped from your dreams into reality. You should’ve known, everything was too good to be true.
You brought one hand to your face, trying to wipe away the tiredness of your eyes, but you found your cheeks were humid due to tears you didn’t even know you shed through the night, damping your pillow sheets once again.
It was always the same dream: Calum coming back to you. Night after night your mind drifted to another reality where you’d meet again, sometimes it was at a concert, other at the local café of your neighborhood that you used to love so much, but tonight was the first night where he appeared at your house. Which was funny considering that he hasn’t stepped foot in this place for almost a year.
You pushed your thoughts away as you tried to go back to sleep. And you did try, but the tossing and turning made you restless, you cursed your mind as the only thing you could see when you closed your eyes was Calum, standing at your door and asking for a kind of forgiveness you weren’t sure you could give. Although, who were you kidding?
Checking the clock once again you realized it was 20 past 6, still too early to go back to real life, but not too early to start and try to live a little.
Pushing yourself off the bed, you grabbed a big hoodie and some pair of sweatpants before putting on your running shoes and hopping into the bathroom to brush your teeth and clean your face before grabbing your keys and getting out of the house.
You sat on the driver’s seat, just like you did a thousand times, taking a big breath before starting the engine.
“You do know you have a perfectly good car in your driveway, right?”
You smiled at him and greeted him with a hug and a kiss as you climbed into the passenger's seat.
It was your usual morning routine. Ever since you met and he found out you lived nearby the studio he always volunteered to carpool with you. Since then, your mornings were filled with hugs, good coffee and stolen kisses you gave each other as the road to the studio became longer and longer thanks to all the detours you took.
“Hello, Calum. I’m very good, thank you for asking, how are you?”
Calum rolled his eyes and gave you a little peck on your lips “I would’ve been on time if I hadn’t had to pick your ass from the other side of town”
You lightly punched him in the arm “You know you love me” He smiled.
“That I do, darling. But I would love you more if you drove us from time to time”
“You know I don’t have a car!” Calum turned to you and pointed to the classic mustang sitting in front of your house, raising his eyebrows as if to ask if you were stupid “That’s my dad’s car!”
“That he kindly gave to you when he helped you move to LA so you could pursue your dream of becoming the next new sensation of music,” He said mocking a dreamy voice to try imitating you “He said it was yours, so it's yours! And honestly, it’s a pretty cool car if you ask me. A real chick magnet”
You mocked a gag at his old reference of movies from the 50’s “Sexist much?” You both laughed as he started the car and started driving “Anyways, he only gave me the car because mom was threatening to sell it on eBay if he didn’t get rid of it soon enough, so he could still come and get it whenever he wants to” You shrugged.
Calum started sniffing the air, “What?” You asked, sniffing as well in case there was something wrong.
“Do you smell that?” He asked with a concerned face.
“Smell what?”
He leaned closer to you and sniffed harder before whispering “The bullshit”
You scoffed and pushed him back “Haha very funny”
You waited until he stopped laughing, you never told him the truth, well two truths actually.
One: That you enjoyed the drives you had with him, it was a special time for the two of you to be yourselves without anyone to judge. You would laugh, sing, talk for hours as you sat in traffic under the city lights. It was the little moments that matter for the two of you, these were your little moments and you didn’t want to give them up just yet.
It was not easy being in a “relationship” that no one knew about, not even his bandmates, although you knew they were suspecting something. All the sneaking away while amid a recording session, hanging out in each other’s rooms, how adamant he was to carpool with you every day, even when he didn’t need to go to the studio… It was an easy tell, but it was also your private life.
You told yourself that it was for the best, that you shouldn’t mix work and personal life, especially when your personal life included Calum. He was adamant to keep whatever you had out of the public eye “What we have is good” He said, “Why ruin it with labels?” And you agreed, knowing that making everything official could just mess everything up. Calum was your best friend, after all, you would be damn if you lose him.
And for the second truth:
“I don’t know how to drive”
Just in time, the traffic light turned red. Calum turned to you in disbelief “Bluff” You shook your head, not looking at him just yet “Bluff! That can’t be right! Y/N how old are you?”
You shrugged again “I never needed to! I always enjoyed walking plus,” You said nudging your arm on Calum’s “I have the best driver right here!” You pecked his cheek with a kiss and saw how quickly they blushed, making you celebrate this tiny victory inside your head. You loved making him blush, it gave you some kind of security that he felt the same way.
Calum stared at you for a moment too long, making you self-conscious under his eyes. You could tell the gears were running inside his head “What if I teach you how to drive?”
You chuckled “Now I call your bluff”
“I’m serious!” He said, not taking his eyes from you “We have time before the tour starts, and that way you could drive us somewhere for once! You know? Picking me out and going on a date?”
Your eyes were set on him with an alarming tone, a what now? Was he serious? “You would do that for me?” You asked shyly, not wanting to fall into another of his pranks, but he seemed serious enough.
“Of course!” He said with a chuckle that accentuated all his dimples “Let’s get you your driver’s license, Y/N!”
Calum grabbed your hand and intertwined it with his, shaking it as a victory celebration and then placing a kiss on your knuckles. You laughed and reminded him where you were “Eyes on the road, Hood” even though the light was still red, you would rather him not noticing the red that tinted your cheeks and the loud beating of your heart.
You saw how the sun was starting to illuminate the coast as you drove by. Everything was so quiet this early in the morning and you were thankful, you needed this quiet so you could be alone with your thoughts once again. And, just like every day, that just meant you were thinking of Calum.
Could you blame him? Possibly, your friends said you should. But could you live with yourself knowing that you are holding a grudge towards someone who is probably unaware of it? Not in the slightest.
You were never official, not to the public at least, but in your heart, you knew he was the only one who could make you feel like this. He was the only one capable of making you laugh as hard as you did, cry the way that you did, and enjoy yourself to the fullest. You were your best when you were with him and now… How are you now?
Would he care?
You knew he loved you, he said so himself. The only thing you didn’t know was in what way. Did he love you like a lover? or just like a friend who he’d get to kiss and make love to from time to time?
The lump in your throat became stronger as you remember the last moments you had with him and all the promises he couldn’t keep. You tried to distract yourself, crying behind the wheel could be dangerous and you weren’t going to risk your life for him, not yet at least.
You turned on the radio in hopes that it would call your mind, at this point even the commercials would make you feel better if they made you think about anything but him.
“And now, Laurie. We have the hottest single of the year!” Said the radio host with the most cheerful tone a person could mutter this early “This up-and-coming artist debuted this single almost a month ago and it is still top of the charts in almost 34 countries all over the world!”
Now the lump in your throat came back but this time with a knot on your stomach as well. The first time you heard the song play on the radio you felt excited, after all this is why you came to LA in the first place. Yet the feeling became bittersweet in no time.
“My girls, boys, and non-binary folks; if you are in your car right now get ready to sing this at the top of your lungs with all the feelings you could muster and send a fuck you to your ex. This is ‘Driver’s License’ by Y/N L/N”
“I got my driver’s license last week, just like we always -”
You turned off the music and kept driving in silence.
You knew it was a bad idea to release the song you wrote about him. Maybe it was a petty move on your part, but… didn’t you have the right to be petty this time?
Either way is not like people would realize it was about him. It was your little secret, yours and Calum’s if he ever heard it, although you believe that if he did then he would’ve said something to you by now. Yet his silence was similar to the one in your car; deafening and heartbreaking.
“I don’t know Calum,” You said as you stared at your car parked in front of you “Is it safe to do it here?”
Calum was leaning on top of the hood, rolling his eyes at your indecision “Would you rather do it on the PCA?” You shot your eyes at him with a deathly glare, he just chuckled “I promise is okay, this parking lot is big enough and there are no cars left that you could accidentally hit”
You were both standing in the middle of the studio’s parking lot late at night. Calum insisted that this was the day you learned how to drive, so he spent the night at your place and today he drove you in your car, that way there would be no excuses left for you not to do it.
However, you were still hesitant. This was technically your father’s car, his other baby, and if you ever crash it you wouldn't know what you’ll do. Calum noticed your doubt and took a step closer to you, grabbing your hand in his to give you some sort of encouragement.
“Look, babe. It’s okay if you don’t want to do it. I won’t pressure you” He said softly “I just thought this could be fun for the both of us” He smiled “Fun and educational for that matter. But if you’re not ready then we can go home and-”
“I want to do it, Cal,” You said, “I just- I don’t know where to even begin!”
He chuckled and placed a kiss on your forehead, making all the butterflies in your stomach take flight.
“Tell you what,” Calum said confidently “You get behind the wheel and I’ll put us some inspirational music”
He walked back to the car to connect his phone to the speakers “You better put my song first!” You called after him as you walked towards the driver’s seat.
Calum laughed “God, I should’ve never told you that! Now your ego’s off the damn roof!” Soon enough he sat on the passenger’s seat next to you and buckled up.
“Not my fault that you think of me so often you want to put it into song” You teased, leaning in for a kiss that Calum was happy to oblige.
“Yes,” He said mid-kiss “It is completly your fault” Next thing you know ‘Kill My Time’ was playing on the radio, but Calum was not letting go of you just yet.
You wished this moment last forever, you wished every moment with Calum would last forever, but you both needed to breathe at some point “I wish I could kiss you all day long, I swear I could die on your lips and die happy” You said as you pressed your forehead to his, smiling like a fool in love.
“Soon, love,” Calum said as he crashed his lips against yours “Just wait until tour is over and then we’ll have forever to do just that”
You grinned at his words, a few days ago he promised to make your relationship publicly official once he came back from tour, that way you’ll have more time together as a fairly new couple. If he was willing to take that step, then you were more than ready to follow along. You knew you’d give everything for him if you had to and you still won’t regret it. You love him, and that was enough for you.
“Think I’m ready to start,” You said once you pulled away from him for the last time.
Calum nodded and patted his hand on your thigh “Okay, first you have to turn on the engine. Good, then you check all your mirrors and make sure your gear shift is on position-”
“My what?” You asked.
“Your gear shift, you know? The stick in-”
“Oh, you mean the PRNDL? You said, trying your hardest to stay serious, but failing to do so once you saw Calum’s face.
“You couldn't go one day without your references now, could you?” He said in amusing disbelief that had you both laughing.
The lesson was fairly simple, it just consisted of going forwards and on reverse a few times and practicing some turns in circles around the parking lot, and you were proud to say you were getting the hang of it pretty quickly. Calum turned out to be a great instructor with the patience of a god, he never got mad at you or showed that he was scared - even though it was pretty clear that he was, especially when you turned too far and almost hit a lamp post - and you appreciate him for that.
It was almost 2 AM when you decided to call it quits for the day and start back tomorrow. Calum was now behind the wheel driving you to your house so he could pick up his car and drive home.
“Cal?” You said once he parked in your driveway.
“Yes, love?”
“I’m really happy with you” You shyly admitted.
Calum’s heart beamed with love as he pulled you closer for a goodnight kiss “And I’m really happy with you”
You kissed him one more time before jumping out of the car “See you tomorrow!” He called before you watched him drive away.
The sound of a horn woke you up from your daydream memory. You didn’t know the light had just turned green until the car behind you started pounding their button and cursing at you to move.
You watched the white car from the rearview mirror as you drove away, it looked like his, all the white cars did, but you knew he couldn’t be here just yet, not until the tour was done.
A sinking feeling of hopelessness filled your inner thoughts once again. The promises he made faded like the wind in the summer once he stepped on that plane and decided that you were something he had to leave behind. It would’ve been good to know beforehand, that way you wouldn’t have wasted a year by the phone, hoping it would ring and that he’d be on the other line.
You glanced at the car’s clock one more time, it’s already too late to do anything, you’ve been driving around without a destination for hours when it only felt like minutes. Time is something you learn how to lose when you’re alone, minutes become meaningless once you realize there is no one there to share them with you, but it’s late and it was time to head home. You let out a sigh at the realization that your drive-through therapy didn’t work this time.
Deciding to take the long way home, you started to drive through the lesser-known streets of LA, hoping that you’d get lost somewhere and not knowing if anyone would care.
The dreams of running away came flashing down, more of an idea than an afterthought. Yes, you made it in LA, you have a hit song and your dreams are coming true. Why didn’t that feel like enough?
If you were gone, even just for a little bit, would anybody notice? If you just got up in your car and started driving somewhere unknown until the feeling of loneliness faded away. Could you drive your feelings away? Outrun them somehow?
You knew that if Calum could do it then so could you. It was so easy for him to just leave whatever you had behind, to leave you behind and hope that you were okay somehow. If he thought that you were okay then he maybe didn’t know you at all and you are probably better off without him, just like your friends say all the time.
But were you better off without him?
Tears started piling up in the corner of your eyes once again. No, you were not better off without him even though you want to be. And neither you are better off with him, if he ever came back to you, that is.
You swallowed a sob, trying your hardest not to break down again. It was useless, all the tears and all the songs and all the fuck him an attitude that you could muster… What was it for if not to dwell on your pain even more? You are still hurt and he still did not care.
You took a turn on the left, knowing the way like the back of your hand. You knew this path would lead you home, but you also knew it would lead you to his house as well.
The first time you did this was to practice how to find your way to Calum’s home without getting lost. You knew he wasn’t home and he wouldn’t be for many many months, but you wanted to surprise him once he got there, to pick him up and drive him to that date he promised you once he returned. Now, you avoided that road like a plague unless you had days like this, days in which missing him became everything you did, and now passing through his empty house gave you the reality check you desperately needed: He is gone. It also inspired you to write the song, it was a blessing and a curse.
You turned into the familiar street and looked to your right, you counted the houses passing by one, two, three, four… Until you spotted his old porch. Normally, that’s all you did. You would drive through his street and see the house dark and cold as his owner was out of town. But today there was a white car on his driveway.
Your breath got caught in your throat as you recognized the license plate, immediately stepping on the breaks and making the car stopped abruptly in front of the house.
That is his car… But how? You knew that Calum kept his car in Ashton’s place so they could drive up together to the airport every time they had to leave. What is it doing here? Tour didn’t end until a week from today and-
The sudden movement coming from the house pulled you from every rational thought as the front door opened. You held your breath as the person who stole all your sleepless nights came into view.
He was home.
Calum stepped out of his house with a bright smile on his face. His hair was shorter than the last time you’ve seen it, and he was less tanned, a fact that was easily noticeable thanks to the contrast of his leather jacket on his skin. But his dimples were intact as he smiled at whoever was inside the house.
A small figure came behind him, wrapping her arms around his torso as she was laughing at something he said. Her blond hair was falling down her back so elegantly, and her smile was bright as day as she hugged him, you wouldn’t have noticed that in the photos. She looked happy, but what broke you the most is that he looked happy as well.
He was home, but he was home with her.
You knew something was going on, even if there wasn’t anything official from either of them. You weren’t official, too. But seeing them was all the proof you needed to believe it. Believe that it was actually over and neither of you said goodbye.
You bit the inside of your cheek as silent tears started rolling down your face. You wanted to scream, to cry your hearts out, and let the world fuck itself over and over again. But for the love that you had on yourself, you promised that you wouldn't dignify him by making a scene. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve to know you cared.
With that in mind, you wiped your tears and floored the gas pedal, driving away from the scene.
“Hey!!!!!”
“Guess what?”
“I PASSED THE TEST!”
“I can legally drive on my own now :D!”
Read 19:05
“Calum?”
“Oh, you must be at the concert now, my bad!”
“Let me know when we can FaceTime again! I can’t wait to tell you how it went! I’m so excited we can finally switch places and let me be the one in charge of the road, lol”
Read 23:54
“Is everything alright, Cal?”
Read 04:32
“I miss you”
Read July 19th 14:49
Last week you sent your last text to him and he still hadn’t responded yet. You tossed all night waiting for at least a smoke signal from him. He was gone for two months now and he never missed one of your calls, it was so unlike him, especially when he promised you to call every day he was on tour.
You tried to distract yourself by doing everything you could think of. You watched videos, listened to music, played candy crush over and over again, and still, there was no answer.
You were starting to give up when a notification from Twitter graced your screen, it read: “Calum Hood, bassist from the band 5 Seconds of Summer, seen cozying up with a mysterious girl in a nightclub two nights ago”
You blinked twice and reread the headline, hoping that your eyes were deceiving you.
“The Australian bassist seemed to be catching up with some friends and letting it all loose at a wild night here in London after their sold-out show in the O2 Arena.
Hood was wearing-”
You skipped all that unnecessary information, scrolling down to the bottom where you knew all media kept the real gossip. A bubble of anxiety started forming inside your throat, as your fingers moved over the screen. The atmosphere became heavy while you could hear your heart thundering inside your chest, every little beat it made was hurting you, almost like it was banging your ribcages begging to be set free.
Time stood still as you looked at the pictures, not wanting to believe your eyes as they analyzed every detail of it.
There he was, hugging a blond woman from behind and resting his face on her shoulders just like he used to do with you. Even from the picture, you could tell she was gorgeous. The next picture showed her wrapping her arms around his neck and smiling at him. He had his hands cupping her cheeks, his face denoted a serious expression, but the look in his eyes was fixed on her.
He kissed her in the third picture, his hands still cupping her cheeks. It seemed like he was smiling through the kiss.
The last picture had them sitting on some kind of leather sofa. She was sitting on his lap and his hands were wandering very close to her butt, holding her close to him.
“The fans of the band wasted no time on identifying the mysterious girl. She seems to be the new tour assistant manager of the boys. Let’s hope that work and pleasure don’t get between this beautiful couple #goals<3”
The stream of tears was never-ending. You couldn’t understand what was going on, why Calum hasn’t said anything to you, why-why did he let it happen? Something was not right, and it wasn’t just your breathing getting heavy inside your lungs or your shaky hands as you typed the next text.
“We need to talk, please call me?”
You got no answers that night as you cried yourself to sleep, realizing that you had no one to comfort you cause nobody knew that you two were even together. You were utterly alone.
The next morning you woke up to no text from him, not even a call or a voicemail.
Read 08:45
You forced yourself to finish your nighttime routine. Ever since you came back home you did nothing but cry, but not of sadness, you were crying of anger.
With him being far away it almost didn’t seem real. You allowed yourself to create some sort of fantasy where he would come back to you, to start over where you left off and be together for everyone to see. How foolish.
You thought that he’ll hear your song and he’ll be running back to you to apologize, to ask if you still love him like before. But he won’t, because he is happy without you while you rot in your own pity party.
You grabbed hold onto the counter, trying to hold the tears as everything suddenly became clear as day. All the red flags you ignored were now shining as candy apples. He made a fool of you and didn’t even dignify you with at least some kind of warning or apology. He brought you down and now it was up to you to climb back up and even higher than before.
How could he?
All the memories you held close to your heart were burning in the pyre of your soul. You loved him, you knew you did. But all you meant for him was just a summer fling, something to waste time on before the real thing came along.
But he loved you…
Did he?
He spent entire days and nights next to you. He told you stories no one’s ever heard of. He sang to you to sleep and wrote you the most beautiful poems you’ve ever read. He picked you up every day and stayed with you until it was your time to leave. He made you feel welcome and there was not a day where you didn’t feel safe around his arms. He was your best friend. He taught you how to drive and what it meant to feel something real, something as important as the love you could have for someone. He loved you, he said he did, he promised he did.
Maybe love was not enough for him.
Your mind was divided, fighting over and over and over again about the same thing. Part of you cursed his name while the other part just wanted to be held by him, telling you that it will all be okay. But you couldn't even trust yourself on this one.
The doorbell rang, one, two, three times.
You were not going to answer it. One look in the mirror and you knew you couldn't answer anyone in this state. Your eyes were puffy and red, your cheeks were hollowed from not eating all day. There was nothing you could do to make you look or feel better, so whoever was behind the door will have to find another way to disturb the chaos in your mind.
However, they were persistent. With the ring of the doorbell came a few bangs. It seemed urgent.
You took one last look at yourself before deciding with a sigh to go and open the door. Whoever it was must have a good reason to come banging at your door a little past midnight.
“I’m coming!” You called, voice coming out a little hoarse from crying all night.
A shiver ran down your back and you felt like you were here before, in this exact moment where all your instincts told you to walk away. You decided to ignore them as you gently turned the doorknob and opened the door. Immediately wishing you didn’t.
“Calum?”
He stood in front of you, soaked from head to toe. Hands in the pockets of his jacket, not the leather one, but one more cozy. He was also wearing a pair of sweatpants and part of his hair was stuck on his forehead. You didn’t realize it was raining.
“Can I come in?” He asked, not even a hello.
You debated on whether or not to let him in. Part of you wanted to throw him back into the streets, but a storm was coming - much in the literal and subliminal way, and you didn’t want him to drive in this weather, you still care for him even though you shouldn’t.
With a simple nod, you opened the door wide enough so he could enter the house, a little “thank you” came out of his mouth as he stepped inside for the first time in over a year.
You closed the door and started walking into the kitchen with Calum following you like a stray dog. Your hands were shaking so you hid them behind your back as you slowly wrapped your arms around you in an attempt to comfort you throughout this whole ordeal.
Calum is standing in front of you on the other side of the island. He is not looking at you, but rather he is looking at his feet. You figured he was too scared to be the first one to talk and it broke your heart that he has suddenly become shy around you when you used to tell each other everything. ‘But whose fault is that?’ You thought.
Now you were just two strangers in a room.
“I thought you’d still be on tour,” You said, breaking the silence that has fallen upon you.
Calum looked up and he almost looked thankful that you spoke first “The last two venues canceled at the last minute due to weather conditions,” He said “So we came back earlier than expected”
You nodded and faced the other way. The fact that he was here in your home made your stomach turn and not in a good way. You always thought him coming back was going to be something joyful, but it became more painful as time went by.
“They closed café Mariannete while I was gone” He said, was he really going to talk about that right now? Did he came over here to reminisce about the café you used to have breakfast in?
“I didn’t know. I don’t go there anymore”
More awkward silence came upon you. You both knew he was bullshiting his way into the real conversation he was avoiding to have. He always used to do that and you have forgotten how much you hated it.
“Were you driving by my house today?” He asked and you froze on the spot. You didn’t think that he saw you.
“I was,” You cleared your throat “I was coming back home”
“And you didn’t say hello” It was more a statement than a question.
A sour taste filled your mouth. How dare he? “You were busy enough” You knew it was a petty answer, but what did he expect?
A flash of hurt came through Calum’s eyes as he said nothing in return. He knew you saw him with her, so he had no excuse to push the topic back to you.
The atmosphere was tense as the only thing you could hear was the ticking of the clock and the raindrops falling through your window. There was so much to say and yet none of you were brave enough to muster them.
You had every right to be mad and he had a right to explain himself, but you were not going to be the first one to cave in. Not without hearing from him first.
Eventually, Calum got restless of the silence.
“Your song is amazing,” He said, pleading for an answer that didn’t contain poison in your words “Ashton showed it to us the day it came out”
So he has heard it, you didn’t know if you should be proud or ashamed “Thanks”
“I forgot to congratulate you on your number one”
“You forgot to do a lot of things”
If there was ever a moment where you could give him the chance to redeem himself, this was it.
You saw how Calum shifted his weight from foot to foot, he had his lips pressed in a thin line and you could see how his eyes changed and fell into a deep pit of regret as tears were forming in the corner of his eye.
“I know the song’s about me-” He said.
“How did you figure that out?” You said sarcastically.
“Y/N…” He pleaded, running a hand through his face, but you were having none of that.
“Why did you do it, Calum?”
You needed an answer, something you could hold onto to eventually let go. Calum, however, was almost speechless.
The ticking of the clock became even louder as you counted the seconds until he spoke again. One, two, three…
Ten “I don’t know”
The answer cut right through you as you let a stream of tears roll down your cheek, not lifting your head to look at him in the eyes. It wasn’t what you expected, it was way worse.
Calum noticed your crying and started panicking, spilling every thought he had through his mouth “I-I don’t- I was drunk and she was there with our groups of friends and we were too drunk to even take notice of what was happening and we just kissed and- Y/N, I’m not perfect. We weren’t perfect, we weren’t even official and it was only a kiss and I thought it would be okay but then the tabloids and your message and I just- And she’s a great friend, she didn’t mean any harm but things happened and-” He stammered, unable to connect his thoughts as he desperately tried to fix something so you would stop crying.
“For me it was perfect” You cried “We were perfect in my mind, you made it perfect. God, Calum. Why didn’t you tell me? I spent months in agony trying to figure it out, to make it make sense! I beat myself up over and over again and there you were having the time of your life with a stranger!” Your voice was loud, not enough to yell, but enough to make it clear that you were fuming.
“What are you talking about?!” Calum said matching the tone of your voice “I missed you every fucking day but there was nothing I could do about it! You don’t know shit of what you’re talking about!”
You scoffed “Oh yeah! It surely seemed like you missed me! You never called me once, Calum. Not even to apologize and try to make it better”
“I didn’t know how!” He said, “I was scared that-”
“That I’d hate you?”
“That you’d forgive me,” Calum said in one breath, making you stare in shock “I-I didn’t want you to forgive me, Y/N, cause you deserve so much better. On tour I realized that I wasn’t ready for a relationship, no matter how much you mean to me and I didn’t know how to tell you that so-”
“And are you ready now? That’s why you are with her?” You interrupted, head filled with anger to even think straight.
“I’m not ready to be with either of you!”
The room felt silent once again.
You had no answer to that and you weren’t sure you wanted to hear more from him.
The rain outside your window started to calm down, only droplets of water were left as the memory of the storm that almost was.
Your legs gave out a minute later, sliding you down slowly onto the floor. Calum walked up to you and sat next to you, neither of you saying anything for what it seemed like hours.
“You said you loved me…” You said with a faint voice.
Calum sighed “I did. I do”
“And you love her too?”
He thought about it “I don’t know. I might” You closed your eyes as a tear fell down your cheek “She’s good to me, Y/N. And we really got close but-”
“I know,” You said with a soft sniffle “We weren’t perfect either”
“You do know I love you, right?” He said softly, turning his face towards you “And that everything we had was real. Every minute of it, every word in every song was true and it still is. All was real and it’s still there somewhere. I still want you in my life, Y/N, cause you make it better. I just,” He sighed “I need to figure my shit out”
“Yeah, you do” You said, making him chuckle darkly “But I can’t promise I’ll be here”
“I wouldn’t ask you to”
You sat there in silence for a few more moments, just enjoying each other's company before everything fades away.
“I love you, too” You said in a whisper, hoping that he won’t hear “I still fucking love you”
Calum sighed “I know”
“Guess that you didn’t mean what you wrote on that song about me
‘Cause you said forever now I drive alone past your street”
.
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talatomaz · 4 years ago
Text
beautiful | diana prince x fem!reader
a/n: happy new year !! this takes place during 1984 but before the actual plot of the movie happens. this is really long so sorry in advance
warnings: mentions of attempted assault. sexual references
word count: 3.4k
masterlist | request list | request rules
reader is a woc and works at the smithsonian as an antiques realtor. after they receive several artefacts specific to ancient mediterranean culture, she enlists the help of diana prince, a senior anthropologist. reader works closely with her and finds herself starting to develop feelings for her and one day, she’s saved by a mysterious female heroine and figures out diana is not all she claimed to be
i do not give you permission to repost or translate my fics on any platform - likes/reblogs are okay and are much appreciated
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“Thank you.”
You smiled to the delivery boy as you showed him where to place the fragile artefacts the museum had just received. It was your job to evaluate whether they were of any value, and if so, whether it was more prudent for them to be sold to someone else or put on display for people to visit.
The moment you were left alone, you’d opened the smallest box in order to determine where these artefacts were from, more specifically, when. You picked up, what appeared to be, a device of some sorts, fit with several random gears. Evaluating the rust and corrosion, you noted on your clipboard that this may have been a Cypriot artefact from the early Bronze Age.
As you made your way through the other boxes, you were about a quarter of the way through when you noticed that all of these antiquities appeared to originate from the Mediterranean. And you knew the perfect person to help explain more about their culture to you.
You gently placed the artefact you were currently examining back in its respective box, locked your office door and made your way to the senior anthropologist who was an expert on the culture.
Lifting a closed fist, you lightly knocked on the door and waited patiently for the door to open, smiling at the person who stood in the door frame when it did.
“Afternoon Miss Prince, are you free for a quick chat?”
You didn’t know Diana Prince all that well, having only interacted on a number of occasions but each time you had, she was incredibly kind and friendly. She had been at the museum longer than you had and was one of the first people to introduce themselves to you and make you feel welcome.
Honestly, there wasn’t much that you knew about her.
She was an enigma.
In the broadest of terms, that was.
By definition, an enigma is someone who is mysterious and difficult to understand.
Now, whilst the brunette was definitely mysterious, she was, by no means, difficult to understand.
One look in her eyes and you immediately saw her for all that she was.
She may not have said more than 5 words to you, but her eyes told you a story. Someone who had gone through immense hurt but remained kind and bright, even in the darkest of times.
Her eyes were beautiful, as was the rest of her. Though that did seem like an oversimplification. She was a goddess, as if sculpted by the Gods themselves - how true that was, you didn’t know yet - and despite that, she never seemed to let her beauty be her one overriding factor. She was extremely smart and intelligent and so much more. Which was why you enlisted her help.
“Of course. Please take a seat.” She said, smiling when you did. “So, how can I help you, Miss L/N?”
“Please, call me y/n. Miss L/N makes me sound like my mother.” You joked.
“Well, then please call me Diana.” She replied in her accent that you couldn’t quite distinguish.
You nodded, “So I’ve just recently come into possession of some ancient artefacts. As you know, I’m required to estimate their value and decide what the museum should do with them. However, it seems that the artefacts I’ve currently examined, all appear to be specific to Mediterranean culture. Now considering you’re our resident expert on that, I figured-”
“That I could come and help you determine it’s authenticity and explain more about them.” Diana finished.
“Exactly. But if you’re too busy, I compl-”
“No, it’s okay.” She interrupted quickly. Clearing her throat, she continued, “I’d be happy to help. I’m glad you came to me, y/n.”
Your lips curved in a smile as you fought to keep the blush that would have certainly risen to your cheeks.
“Shall we?” You asked, standing up, about to head back to your office.
“Lead the way.”
***
For the next month or so, you found yourself working quite closely with the anthropologist, the Smithsonian board having told you both that they wanted you to help create a display for the artefacts to be put on show for the community. Though that meant more work for you, you were secretly grateful because, truth be told, you found yourself developing feelings for the brunette. But you never said a word, knowing she wouldn’t feel the same about you.
You were working late one night, about to leave, before you noticed the light that was on in one of the hallways. Apart from you, you knew that the only person who’d ever stay this late at the museum was Diana. Her, seemingly more committed to her job than you once realised.
Knocking on the door, you waited until you heard a quiet “come in” before entering the office room.
Neatly placed around the room were several boxes, more than likely filled with paperwork and published papers. Her navy leather sofa sat at the far end of the room with a coat draped over one of the arm rests. In front of you, was Diana’s desk. It was as tidy as the rest of the room, papers orderly placed at the ends of the desk, a small lamp placed at the corner and a computer which Diana had been typing on.
Her face softened into a smile when she saw you and she sat up against her chair.
“Hey, y/n. What’s up?”
“Not much. I was just about to head home but since I saw your light on, I figured I’d come by and say goodnight.”
“That’s sweet. Since you’re here, why don’t I walk you out? I was planning on going home myself.”
“Sounds good.”
She grabbed her coat from the sofa and put it on. After locking her door, she walked beside you towards the entrance of the museum.
“You know, it’s a beautiful night and it’s not that late either, why don’t we get dinner?”
You stopped in your path for a brief moment before continuing to walk.
She was asking you to dinner.
Holy shit.
You knew it wasn’t a date since you had had several dinners together whilst working at the artefacts.
But the idea that it could have been still excited you.
And terrified you.
“Yeah, I’d love to.”
You had eaten at this cute restaurant, sitting outdoors so you could both bask in the stars. You’d fallen into easy conversation with the brunette, never experiencing any awkwardness or uncomfortable silences. You talked about nothing and everything; every time you made her laugh, you couldn’t help but smile yourself because her laughter was genuine and brought warmth to you.
“I’ve enjoyed tonight, Diana.”
“Me too. I know you don’t get out much so I figured you deserved a break.”
“Hey! What do you mean ‘I don’t get out much’?” You said, feigning being offended while truthfully, you were failing to hide a laugh.
“I’m not judging. Just...making an observation.” Diana laughed.
“Hmm sure. Well, how about you? Are you out often?”
“No, not really.”
“Wow. Now look who’s not a social butterfly.” You joked.
“Yep, we’re just two peas in a pod, huh y/n?” Diana said, smirking when she saw a light blush of red on your cheeks.
***
After that night, you found yourself regularly going out to dinner with Diana and it was getting harder to hide how you felt.
Sometimes, you had a sliver of hope that she felt the same way because she would make excuses to touch you, whether it be gently brushing her hand against yours or stroking her hand against your arm.
But you immediately quelled those thoughts. There was no way someone as beautiful, sweet and smart as Diana would like you.
Shaking your head, as if to rid the thoughts from your mind once more, you walked through the alley that was a shortcut to your apartment.
Abruptly, you felt yourself pushed up against the brick wall, a knife against your throat. You fought the urge to scream, knowing any movement with the sharp blade that close to you would certainly result in bleeding.
“Good girl. Be quiet and don’t scream. Otherwise the next piece of trash left in this alley will be you.”
The moon allowed for you to get a better look at the man holding himself against you. You only saw his face, however, his mouth curved into a creepy smile, reminiscent of Dr Seuss’ The Grinch.
“You are a pretty one, aren’t you?” Even his voice felt slimy, bringing a look of disgust on your face.
“Fuck off.” You said, showing no fear. Oddly, you found yourself feeling calm. Some people may fight and others may flee. But of course, you taunt and curse.
“Oh, you’re going to be fun.”
You readied yourself for anything that may happen, waiting for the opportunity where the blade’s pressure would lighten, allowing you to kick this guy and run away.
But before you could, you felt all pressure against you immediately leave. Looking up, you caught a glimpse of a woman in armour pulling the man off you with, what appeared to be, a glowing yellow rope. The man still held within the rope, she jumped up on the roof and disappeared.
But not before the moonlight had provided some clarity as to who this mysterious figure was.
It was her eyes.
You had difficulty sleeping that night. It was not the attempted assault that had kept you up though, it was the woman who had saved you. You recognised her eyes but the more you thought about it, the more perplexed you became. There was no way Diana was whoever this woman was. But it was her eyes.
This back and forth continued til sunrise when you finally decided to push it from your mind. Yes, her eyes may have been familiar but you hadn’t seen her face nor heard her voice. And if, and when you did, you would then make an assumption as to who she was.
***
“Morning, y/n.”
You looked up to see Diana standing outside your office door, dressed in a simple pantsuit that she somehow made look glamorous.
“Morning, Diana.”
“How are you? Are you okay?”
You carefully noted the thinly veiled concern in her tone before answering.
“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” You asked, brow raised in question.
“No reason. Just wondering.” She cleared her throat. “I’ve just been finalising some things for the display tonight.”
Time had flown by and you were disheartened when you realised it meant the two of you wouldn’t be seeing each other as often; the two of you would go back to your own lives and separate work.
“Y/N?”
You blinked, having been broken from your thoughts when you saw real concern on her face.
“Yeah?”
“You went a bit dazed there for a moment. Are you sure you’re okay?” Her head tilted in question, her hand lifting to gently caress your arm.
“Yeah, sorry. Come on, let’s finish off this display.”
You had trouble focusing whilst you worked, eyes constantly glancing over at Diana, your mind wondering. You knew that even if she was who you thought she was, it had no effect on how you felt about her. She was still the same Diana that you knew.
Just...more badass than you’d first thought.
The two of you left the museum early evening so you could get ready for the gala the Smithsonian was putting on to show off their new Mediterranean display.
Whilst you had put quite a few antiques up for sale to various buyers and other museums, the large majority of them you had advised the board to keep; explaining how, in the long run, it’d prove more valuable.
You got dressed in a black dress that was hemmed below your knees, a low but classy ‘v’ cut shaped plunged neckline to reveal a small diamond necklace that matched with your earrings. You rarely wore makeup but tonight was an exception so your lips were painted a deep red that complemented your tanned skin and your hair was left free, light curls bouncing against your back.
Once you had arrived back at the Smithsonian, you made your way to your boss and the rest of the board who complimented yours and Diana’s work.
You looked around, wondering where the latter was.
As if summoned by sheer thought alone, Diana appeared beside you; her appearance leaving your throat dry. She was dressed in a long navy dress, a long slit in the side showing off her toned legs. She wore a gold bracelet around her wrist, her lips painted bright red, her curly hair surrounding her face.
“You look stunning, Diana.”
“Thank you. You look beautiful too.” Her smile reaching her eyes.
The next couple of hours were spent rotating around the guests and several investors who commended the both of you on your work whilst simultaneously making sizeable donations to the museum.
Truth be told, you hated this part of the gala. You believed that people should appreciate the art rather than wanting to line up their own pockets. It was the main reason you often avoided company events such as these but since tonight was something you’d organised, you needed to be there.
You were currently speaking with an older male whom you knew was an avid investor. Diana had been pulled aside by another investor who wanted to know more about a certain piece of art.
As you engaged in a polite conversation with the man, you felt a shift in his tone as he became more untoward with you. His words were slurring slightly, having consumed several glasses of champagne, and he starting to make inappropriate advances by grabbing your hand or saying wildly unprofessional things.
“Mr Woodbury, I appreciate your interest in me but I do not feel the same way and I’d appreciate it if you could stop with the advances.” You explained as politely as you could when, in reality, you were trying to hide your anger.
“Darling, you’re a pretty little thing and I could give you the night of your life.” He leered at you, leaning closer towards you.
A strong hand pushed him back, “she said ‘no’”
There was no need to even face the person enunciating each word; you knew exactly who that voice belonged to.
“Miss Prince, we’re having a private conversation.”
Diana stood beside you, her body turned so she faced the both of you.
“I suggest you leave before I have you removed from the building. And if you ever bother y/n again, I promise you, you will regret it. And a promise is unbreakable.”
The male withered under her stare and slithered away from view. You glanced up at Diana, who towered over you, even more so in her heels, and saw the controlled fury in her eyes.
The way the light of the room shone on her face and illuminated her eyes forced yourself in the memory of the night of your attempted assault.
The realisation hit you like a train.
This was the confirmation that you needed.
It was her.
“Y/N?”
You stared into her eyes, unable to tear yourself from her.
“Y/N?” Diana repeated, resting her hand against your cheek. The warmth of her skin against yours brought you back to reality.
“Y-You. I-”
You stumbled over your words, unable to string any words together to form a coherent sentence.
“Come with me.”
Not waiting for a response, Diana took your hand in hers and led you back to her office. She closed the door, locking it behind her and switching on her lamp so the room wasn’t completely dark.
You stood in front of her, still unsure of what to say.
“Y/N, you’ve been acting weird all day. What’s wrong?” She asked, her concern evident in her tone.
“You’re her.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Her. The one who saved me last night.”
You watched as Diana’s eyes flickered with panic. It was only for a brief moment and you wouldn’t have caught it if you weren’t looking.
Her mouth opened as if ready to disprove any of your thoughts before closing it again when she saw the look on your face.
“How did you know?” She sighed.
“Your eyes.”
“I’m sorry?” She repeated.
“Your eyes. They were the same. Since the moment I met you, the first thing I noticed were your eyes. The way they sparkled with kindness but I could still see the hurt behind it. They’re beautiful.” Your voice faltered as you finished speaking.
“Um, that was inappropriate. I shouldn’t have said that. I-I’ll go.”
As you were about to walk out of her office, she moved to block the door.
“Don’t go.” Her accent came out strong.
“Diana, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Look, I appreciate you working with me these past couple of months. It’s been a great help. We can just forget this happened and just go back to our lives.” You suggested, walking back to the centre of the room.
“What if I don’t want to?”
Her words came out in a low whisper, the huskiness of her voice sending a shiver down your spine.
“W-what?” You swallowed dryly.
“I said, what if I don’t want to forget?” She repeated, walking closer to you whilst you unconsciously backed away slowly until stopping when your back hit her desk.
“I’ve loved spending time with you, y/n. You’ve become extremely important to me. And seeing that guy trying to hit on you earlier angered me because you’re not his. You’re mine.”
Your eyes widened. Though you’d never seen this side of Diana before, you were extremely turned on; a warmth spreading through you.
Diana continued, smiling at the noticeable effect she had on you.
“I know you feel the same way. I see the way you look at me and the way you blush when I catch you staring. You know me. The other me. You’re beautiful and I like you, y/n. A lot.”
You licked your lips and then lightly bit your bottom lip, once again speechless. Never in a million years did you think she’d like you back.
You decided words weren’t going to be enough and instead, you gathered your courage, the alcohol helping you in that respect, and closed the distance between you.
It was a light kiss, practically a peck, just to test the waters as they say but it still felt right.
You pulled away and leaned back against the desk. There was a look in her eye that you couldn’t quite distinguish but before you had any time to dwell on it, Diana instantly kissed you back, this time with more fervour.
She lifted you onto the desk as if you weighed nothing and with her strength, you probably didn’t. Her hands gripped the sides of your waist, steadying you, as you opened your legs wider so she could move between them.
Your arms wrapped around her neck pulling her deeper into you. She tugged your bottom lip between her teeth, not hard enough to make you wince but definitely enough to make you moan.
You felt her smirk against your lips as her hands moved upwards from bracketing your hips to the side of your breasts. She continued the motion before kissing you one final time and reluctantly pulled away.
Your breath came out in a pant, trying to get as much oxygen back into your lungs as possible.
“That was-”
“Amazing.” Diana finished.
You still sat atop of her desk, not having enough energy to move as of yet, and you were sure your legs wouldn’t be able to hold you up either after that heavy make out session.
Diana rested her hands against your waist once more before tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and cupping your cheek.
How she went from being so full of passion and heat to being so gentle and sweet, you’d never know. You had a feeling she was going to keep you on your toes.
“As much as I didn’t want to stop, we still have people to see. What do you say we talk to a few more guests and then we can go back to my place and finish what we started?”
Diana asked, stroking your cheek with her thumb as her eyes twinkled with mischief.
“I’m never going to figure you out, am I?” You said light-heartedly, as you came to your feet.
Diana held your hand in hers and walked to the door,
“I don’t know. I’d say you know me pretty well already.”
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solomonish · 4 years ago
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you and me, we outlive even demons (solomon x reader)
Pros of being immortal: You have all the time in the world to do whatever you want - and, you can be immortal with Solomon. Cons of being immortal: You have to watch all your friends die, and it's Belphegor's time to go.
WARNING: major character death! all of the demon brothers are dead. belphegor is the only one to die on-screen.
ao3 link: here!
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When Belphegor died, it was nighttime.
In the Devildom, it is always night, with varying shades of black painting the sky depending on the time and the weather. Once, a long time ago, you were able to distinguish between the slightest shades. Your time as an exchange student provided you with that sort of interesting skill set. But that was thousands of years ago, when the seven lords were all still young, when their scars still throbbed with the sharp ache of loss. You had been the mouse to pluck the splinter from the lion's paw - and now you were the one to see them off, holding the hand you had relieved of pain so very long ago, and watching as it slowly became limp as the demon you loved disappeared.
Demon death was nothing like human death - according to the others, it was a horrifying ordeal with lots of flames and disintegration during the cleanest affairs. However, with their power and the help of Diavolo, they were able to stave off these effects just enough to give you a final goodbye.
When you got the urgent message just minutes before midnight, your heart dropped to your stomach. Belphie had shown the signs of his death for a while, with his power growing dimmer and his sin nearly consuming all of his soul until he could barely stay awake for five minutes a day. His decline only sped up once Beel had gone without him - you knew he had secretly hoped they'd go out together, but fate had other plans and keeping up with Beel's appetite when he could barely fight through his gluttony under normal circumstances was becoming too big a feat to ignore. You were pretty sure the only reason Belphie hadn't allowed himself to succumb as soon as he could have was to give you a chance to recover from that loss.
That was almost more cruel, however. A fitting departure for Belphegor, all things considered.
When you arrived in the Devildom, your portal opening right outside the door to Belphegor's room (an exact teleportation spell that had taken you many more years to master than it rightfully should have, you remember), Diavolo and Barbatos were waiting for you. The king and his butler naturally had much longer lives than the brothers, and had taken upon themselves the death rites duties to ensure they were properly cared for. Their faces were stern, solemn, and they nodded wordlessly at you before opening the door for you.
You didn't need to steel yourself for this. It was your seventh round, after all.
The room was dark, but you could see Belphegor's shape underneath his blankets and pillows. Lying on the floor next to his bed was the cow print pillow he always had with him, and that was the first arrow that pierced your heart. The mementos they decided to leave for you would always have that effect, you supposed.
He was sleeping, unsurprisingly, so you sat gingerly on the bed and decided to wait for him to wake up on his own. You didn't want to rush this moment with him anyway - not now that it was the last one. So instead, you watched his steady breathing, smiling softly to yourself as he shifted and murmured just like he used to when you first met.
Death didn't come with old age for demons. Belphegor looked the same as he used to, if not a little more worn, if not with a few more smile lines. All of the brothers had looked almost the same when they parted - that made it harder, to see them smile at you like it was the early days just moments before they left you for good. Even if they made it no secret that their extensively long lives would eventually come to an end, you thought that you would be long gone by that time. Then, years and years after the exchange program ended, you wound up stepping into the world of immortality, taking your place at Solomon’s side to help guide the humans in their lives without ever showing yourself. (You really should have died that time, but having at least seven powerful demons that would tear every dimension apart for you had its perks. The story of your second escape from death was taboo for about a year, until it became a favorite joke at the table when you were all gathered around, Solomon included, for a holiday or just a dinner to reconnect.)
With a gentle groan, Belphegor shifted and turned to his back, bumping his leg into your hip and peeking at you with one half-open eye. He took a moment to pull himself out of his stupor, but the lazy smile he gave you once he finally realized it was you had your stomach twisting in knots. “Hey.”
“Hi.” Without you asking, Belphegor reached out to you and offered his hand. He was there last time, when Beelzebub had specifically requested that the both of you be there with him. He knew how you wanted to do this. You took his hand, rubbing gently over his knuckles. You were past the point where the size of their hands compared to you startled you, but now, it only served to make you feel a little smaller than before.
Some of the brothers had been chatty before they left. Mammon had been trying to cheer you up, a little shaken up at the prospect of death (and leaving you alone with his brothers - who knew what they would do without him to stop them) and talked to distract himself. Levi was quiet with occasional bursts of asking for reassurance, mostly that you would remember him fondly. Asmo wanted to know if he looked as stunning as he used to, a strange vulnerability in his voice when he said he just wanted your last memory of him to be as pretty as all the others. The others were quiet, having already settled their affairs and relishing in the last moments with their beloved human before finally allowing themselves to let go.
Belphie, it seemed, was a quiet one.
You sat there in comfortable silence, running your fingers over the smooth skin on his hand while he stared up at the ceiling. Not for the first time in your life, you found yourself wondering just what he was thinking. His face was still, showing no emotion that might tip you off. Perhaps that was better. You didn’t want his last day to be one filled with stewing over his regrets.
It took a while, but eventually he shifted slightly so he was turned towards you. That was how you knew it was getting closer - he was turning to say goodbye.
"Thank you, MC. If it hadn't been for you..." Neither of you wanted to think about that. If it hadn't been for your stupidity, or your nosy behavior, perhaps you wouldn't still be alive long past your intended lifespan. Perhaps Belphegor wouldn't be remembering his brothers so fondly now. Maybe they wouldn’t have survived all they’ve been through since your arrival. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps. With a sigh, he looked at you one last time and squeezed your hand. "Well, let's just say this dreadful existence wasn't so dreadful at all."
You brought his knuckles to your lips and placed a gentle kiss on them, never breaking eye contact. "I love you, Belphie. Be safe wherever you're going next."
"No." That got you to chuckle. Maybe you WOULD miss his bratty side. Just a little.
"Say hi to your brothers for me."
"Now that I can do." He gave you a smug smirk and squeezed your hand one more time, a little weaker than the last. "Goodbye, MC. Thanks for coming. I love you too."
You stayed there on the bed with him until the gentle thrum of his magic now longer settled beneath his past mark, the pact mark you made sure would stay on your skin forever, long after his hand had gone limp. Then, you stayed a few minutes more before gently placing his hand down and covering your face with your hands.
With that, the seven demon lords were gone, and you sat pactless in their empty, too-quiet house.
After a while, Diavolo and Barbatos came in the room and ushered you out, murmuring a few sympathies and trying to comfort you while saying they needed to do their jobs. You nodded, grabbing the cow pillow and stepping outside of the door. They both offered for you to come back any time you needed, saying that the House of Lamentation would remain empty and protected for a while until they sorted out what to do with the Demon Lords’ material belongings. You, of course, would have a say in their decisions. It wasn’t until they said goodbye and the door to the twins’ room shut with a click that the grief threatening to bubble over started to spill.
When you stepped through the portal, back into the living room of the apartment you and Solomon decided to settle in for a while, you were greeted by none other than the sorcerer himself. He was in a formal outfit, having been out discussing something with the Sorcerer’s Society you still didn’t have the clearance to know about. From his messy hair and wrinkled clothing, he looked like he had been through a long day - but even more than that, he looked like he was on the brink of some small-scale breakdown. Once he saw you, his face shifted from panic to relief to understanding. You belatedly realized that the message made you drop everything and leave, not sparing a moment to text Solomon that you’d be gone and barely turning off the heat you were brewing potions over. No wonder he looked so panicked - who knew what he thought had happened to you?
Instead of admonishing you, he cleared off a spot on the couch in front of him. “It was Belphegor, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah.” Asmodeus was the only one who wanted Solomon to be there when he passed, but even then, he asked that he be alone with you in his true final moments. Despite not being personally included in their deaths, Solomon had been aware of the demon’s passing through you if not through his own snooping. Being able to feel your friends fade through their pact marks freaked you out a little, and you, of course, turned to Solomon when you needed to vent about it.
After the couch was cleared of his jacket and papers from the both of you, he approached you slowly. This time, you didn’t open your arms to accept his embrace - you were holding too tightly to the cow pillow, sniffling, worried you might actually fall apart if you dared to let go. Solomon got the message and placed one hand on your shoulder, gently guiding you to sit on the couch. He sat right next to you, so close that there was no space between your thighs, and lifted his arm so you could curl into him. Between the brothers and the people you loved in your original life, he had gotten surprisingly good at comforting you. You had a feeling this unexpected proficiency was only for you - Solomon hadn’t exactly been the best at comfort until you told him what you needed.
You made yourself comfortable, leaning into his chest and letting him gently run his hand up and down your arm. Other than your sniffling, the apartment was quiet. The sun was just barely beginning to rise, shining through the large window to your side. Even if not much was said, Belphegor’s death must have taken a long time, you thought idly.
“I’m sorry for worrying you,” you murmured when it felt like you could speak again. The strain in your voice didn’t go unnoticed by either of you, but Solomon had the wisdom to save any observations for himself.
“It’s alright. I only just got home. I wasn’t worrying for long.”
“They kept you for a while.”
“Yeah,” He started, running his free hand down his face. Honestly, he could fill the day with the ridiculous stories the old masters he had to deal with gave him. Between their obviously exaggerated tales and the stupid hoops Solomon had to jump through to get a straight answer (which never failed to make him wonder how you had the infinite patience to stay with him, though he’d never say it out loud), it was a wonder how he got out of the headquarters in a day. But he’d have those stories in his mind for a while, and distracting you now wouldn’t help anything, so he only repeated himself after his pause. ”Yeah.”
Your gaze fixated on a spot on the carpet, probably an old potion stain. Or maybe it was a wine stain from when the remaining brothers came over for dinner. With another clench in your chest, you realized Lucifer and Mammon never got to see this apartment. It was sleek, and definitely one of the nicer places the two of you picked out to live in - Mammon would have loved it.
“You were right,” You finally murmured. “It never got easier with them.”
“That might be a good thing. The younger brothers would have been jealous if you had been more sad about the older ones.”
You considered that and nodded, clutching the pillow tighter to your chest. “I just...I knew they weren’t immortal like us, but...it was just hard to imagine that they would actually die.”
Beside you, Solomon hummed and nodded as he shifted his free hand so it was placed oh-so-gently over his hip. He, too, decided to keep Asmodeus’ pact mark when he passed. Even with a few thousand years more of experience, it seemed Solomon was just as susceptible to the habits of sentimentality.
“What are we going to do?” Burying your face in the pillow, you fought off a shudder that threatened to shake you with your sudden dread. “The lords are gone. Will there be new ones? How will Diavolo be able to lead with just himself?”
“I doubt there will be any replacements coming anytime soon. Diavolo thinks of them as friends. Besides, Lucifer was really the only one who helped him out. He’s had a few hundred years to get used to doing things without him.” You didn’t lift your face from the pillow for a while, huddling in on yourself until you felt Solomon gently tap the side of your cheek, asking for your attention. Slowly, you lifted your head from the pillow and wiped the tear streaks from your face as Solomon gently tilted your face higher so he could make proper eye contact. “You’re used to fixing things for them, MC, we both know that. But everybody else has it under control. You need to take this time to...sort yourself out.”
You knew he was right - you had been nothing but a fixer since you met the demons (not that it was chore - at least, not in hindsight.) This wasn’t your mess to clean up. If anything, you felt like the mess that needed cleaned up. Sorting yourself out, though, picking up your pieces when you thought they were shattered in different quadrants of the earth...it seemed impossible.You shuffled so you were now sitting cross-legged and facing him, keeping your head up and ignoring the sting in your eyes as more tears threatened to spill.
“I miss them all, Solomon. So much.”
“I know you do.”
“It feels….it feels like I’ll never figure out how to get through this now that they’re all gone.”
“I can imagine.”
His tone was far from unkind, but you could tell he was practiced in his sympathy. Still, you knew that having him around to just tell your woes to was already helping you. At least you felt validated in being wrecked by the fall that was already hundreds of years in the making.
You could tell that Solomon noticed the way your eyebrows furrowed, but you beat him to speaking. “How did you do this on your own? This is terrible. I feel terrible.”
Eyes wide, and stared at you for a moment. Clearly, he hadn’t been expecting you to turn the conversation on him. Even if he was much more open with you now than he’d ever been, even if he was fine with showing you how he felt...now wasn’t the time to let you in on the vulnerabilities of being immortal and alone.
“That...it doesn’t matter now, does it? We’ve got each other now. You’ve got me.” He held his arm out again, offering you to lean back into him. You took the invitation, burying the bottom half of your face back in the pillow. “When you’re feeling a little better, I can make you breakfast in a few hours.”
He could feel you cringe. Was he seriously going to make you supervise your own breakfast when you were this upset? But he knew what he was doing, evident by his gentle chuckle and the feather-light kiss he placed on the crown of your head. “Ah, I misspoke. I can get you breakfast.”
“You’re going to leave me like this?” To prove your point, you did your best to snuggle in closer.
“Only if you’re ready for me to.”
“...you might have to make it lunch, then.”
His thumb went back to gentle stroking your arm, soothing enough to convince you to even your breaths. You didn’t want to sob uncontrollably, but the longer you sat and stewed over your grief, the closer you felt yourself inch to that edge. But Solomon was right. You had him here, and he had been there all the other times. He would be there again, should you need him - and you swore you’d be there for him, too.
Maybe you would be okay after all.
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queenofspades6 · 4 years ago
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More than partners - The Mandalorian x reader
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A Home
Chapter 15 of More than partners
Summary: Grogu choses his own way. Obviously, you and the Mandalorian are terrified to be alone again.
Warnings: Smut. A lot of fluff
AN: Helloooo! This is the last chapter of More than Partners until season 3! This chapter is probably the longest, and I hope you’ll all like it since it was written with all my heart! I’ll appreciate it if you like, and share the story and leave feedback please! Thanks to you all!
———
<Chapter 14
———
Here you were in Boba Fett’s ship with Bo-Katan Kryze, Lambda, Cara Dune, Boba himself, Fennec, the Mandalorian and the scientist you captured to bring back the Child.
It was a difficult task to get everyone to agree. Mando wanted to fight the Deathtroopers alone while you would go with Bo-katan and Fennec. Obviously, you didn’t agree, but the bounty hunter had assured you it would be better for you to protect Bo-Katan and Cara and take back the Child after. Being apart from the Mandalorian wasn’t something you liked. You feared it was going to be the last time you would see each other.
While Bo-Katan and Cara were arguing about who would have the chance to capture Moff Gideon first, you and Mando chose to slip away from others.
You were in Boba Fett’s one and only room. It was simple with a cot along the wall, and a small rusty table with some food on it.
“What?”Mando questioned staring at you.
“Nothing.”You answered, smiling at him.
“Tell me what is it Y/N? I know when there is something bothering you.”
You sighed and looked at the ground awkwardly.
“Are you really going there alone? Fighting all these Deathtroopers? Why can’t you just accept my help for once?”You vociferated, hands on your waist.
“I can take care of the Deathtroopers. I want you to be there for Cara if something happens and watch Bo-Katan. There is something off with her. She wants something.”
You nodded and took some steps towards the Mandalorian.
“I agree, but what if the deathstroopers ki-kill you?”
“They won’t, Y/N. They won’t, I promise.”
He approached you and caressed your face with his gloved hand.
“Keep your promises for you if you can’t keep them.”You whispered, a tear running on your cheek.
“I won’t die, Y/N. Not today. If you live, I live.”
With a surprising softness, Mando embraced you with his arms, your head against his chest.
“I’d give anything just to kiss you right now.”You murmured, stroking his neck.
The Mandalorian pulled away from the embrace, turned off the light and locked the door of the room.
“You can.”He replied, taking off his helmet in the twilight.
You didn’t make him wait. In a rapid motion, you took his chin between your fingers and kissed him. The kiss slowly became hungry, each of your tongues fighting for dominance. Din passed a hand through your shirt, and you let him, slowly leaving a trail of kisses from his neck to his clavicle.
“Din, I-“
“Shh, Y/N.”
“Din. Stop. What if someone enters.”You asked, caressing Din’s arm with a finger.
“Let them see.”
“Hmm.”
A hand below your knee, Din brought you closer to his chest. He kissed you on the lips and began to put his lips on your collarbone while kissing lower and lower. Then, he unbuttoned your shirt, his eyes staring at you. The light was closed, and yet, you could distinguish Din’s features. It was pleasant to finally be able to see the color of his eyes or his hair. When Din was staring at your soul with his eyes, you realized that he hadn’t broken his Creed for Grogu or for you, no, he created a new Creed, his own. He followed his Way. Meeting Bo-Katan and then Boba Fett made the Mandalorian become aware that there wasn’t one and only Creed that all the Mandalorian needed to follow. It was a matter of point of view. From now on, Din Djarin knew you and Grogu were part of his Creed. Drowning in your eyes, he knew protecting a Jedi and a Force sensitive child was now the Way.
“Why are you looking at me, Din?”
“You are beautiful, Y/N.”
You grinned and immediately lowered your gaze.
Your shirt still on but unbuttoned, Din fondled one of your breasts, his eyes on you, watching each one of your reaction, ready to stop with only a word. Your eyes closed, and your mouth agape, the Mandalorian took it as an answer to continue. His lips on your nipples, you gasped. His lips were so perfect, you could kiss him forever.
Din began to make his way lower.
“Not so fast, tin can.”You giggled.”You are overdressed.”
The Mandalorian laughed, and you helped him remove his armor, his shirt and then his trousers. He smiled at you with a loving look.
Din took you in his arms and made you sit on the ledge of the cot. Lips intertwined with each other, he kissed your chest, then your stomach, and removed your pants slowly. You felt his hands caressing your inner thighs and then your panties. His touch was so sweet, so pleasant your breathing was getting harder. He left a slow kiss on your panties, and then he removed them, his gaze on you. He began to make his way lower, caressing your inner thighs, and glancing at you sometimes. You could feel his breath against your skin while his fingers worked on you. You let a soft moan escape your mouth when his wet tongue stroked your pussy, closing around your sensitive bundles of nerves. How could you not enjoy that? Here the Mandalorian was, all yours. For tonight, and maybe forever. Din began to lick harder and with more pressure, while your breathing became heavier. You put your hands on his hair, caressing it while writhing from pleasure and moving your hips in order to have that special friction you desperately craved.
“Not so fast.”The Mandalorian whispered softly and grinning.
You sighed.
“Din. Please. I want you. Right now. On this bed.”
He laughed, and you straddled him fiercely. You graze the skin of his face with your fingers, gently moving to his lips, the lips you adored so much. With impatience and frustration, you removed his boxer. You wanted to be the one in control tonight, but Din wouldn’t let you. Not today. One of you may die today. And he wanted you in his own way. The only way he knew.
“Not on the bed, Y/N.”
You gave Din a questioning look, and without waiting, he stood up, and too you in his arms.
“What are you doing, tin can?”You asked, eyebrows raised in wonder.
He pressed you naked against the wall, his toned body against yours. You rolled your hips when you censed his girth pressed against your pussy. The Mandalorian caressed your breasts and your stomach, before reaching your clit with his tender fingers. You gasped, and in a rapid motion, you felt him at your entrance. The heat in the room began rising, and you didn’t care anymore about the noise you and Din would make. The Mandalorian teased you endlessly, and you knew you wouldn’t last long, though each time, you felt yourself coming, he removed his fingers. And when you expected him the least, he buried himself inside of you.
“You are so wet for me, Y/N.”
You held your breath painfully, while Mando began thrusting harder, snapping his hips. You cried out when he massaged your sore clit and arched against his touch. The labored breathing of Din, his skin clinging against yours, his hand on your asscheeks while another was on your waist and the small pain in your thighs. It was too much. You couldn’t hold it any longer. You clenched around him, murmuring his name sweetly like a melody. Hearing you come, the Mandalorian knew he was close. How could he not when someone as beautiful and incredible as you were writhing in pleasure. He thrusts into you shallowly one last time, groaning and pulling out his softening cock. Both of you stayed there, naked against the wall, your breaths being both heavy, his hands holding you from not falling. This moment was one of the most intimate you had with him. Making love was something but sharing this moment with the man you loved after sex was something way better. It meant more. Sex was something you could have everywhere, but this, what you had with the Mandalorian wasn’t a fling, or just desire. It was way more, and Din Djarin knew it. You could see his brown eyes drowning into yours.
“I love you.”He pronounced between two breathings.
You smiled, and as an answer, you took his face with your hands and intertwined your lips with his.
“I love you too.”
You felt a small smile on the corner of his lips.
“Please, Din, don’t leave. Stay with me or let me go with you.”
“Y/N.”He replied, stroking one of your locks of hair and placing it behind your ear.
“Din.”
“I need you with Cara. I don’t trust Bo-Katan. Something is off. I don’t know if she’ll betray us. And you are the most qualified for this job, Y/N. I know if there’s a problem, you’ll handle it.”
“But what about you? I have seen Deathtroopers before, it’s not an easy task to kill them. Let me come with you, it’ll be easier with a Jedi.”
“I can’t let you do that. If you go with me, Cara will be alone with Bo-Katan and her friend. It’s not because Bo-katan and us have a common enemy that we are friends. She could betray us.”Mando mumbled, caressing your neck, and not daring to look at you, because he knew, if he crossed your gaze, he wouldn’t know how to say ‘no’ to you.
A single tear ran down your cheek. How could you say goodbye to the man you learnt to love? What if he died? What could you say to him? It may be your last words to him.
“What if one of us die, there?”You questioned, trying to hold back your tears.
“We won’t.”
“Please, Din. I need sincere replies. Don’t avoid the question. It’s a possibility. Have you seen our plan? There’s no chance, it’ll work and that we’ll all be alive after.”
“Never tell me the odds.”
“But what if it fails? I can’t bear the thought of losing you, or the Child.”
“Don’t you think I haven’t thought of that? The thought you could die out there, alone because of Moff Gideon is intolerable. I can’t lose you, Y/N. When I met you, you were just an annoying Jedi that talked too much and..”
“What changed?”You replied, smirking.
“You ​are still an annoying Jedi that talks too much.”Mando laughed when you tapped him on the shoulder.”But now, I’ll give my life to save you, Y/N. I’ll sacrifice everything for you if necessary. You and the Child gave me what most people lack today: purpose, and I’ll be forever thankful for that. Y/N. I want nothing more than you and me fighting Deathtroopers, but I can’t. It’s dangerous, and Cara needs you. “
You acquiesced. You knew Mando was right, and you had a bad feeling about Bo-Katan. Yes, she was a Mandalorian, and former member of the Deathwatch, but you knew, she served only her interests and especially what she thought were Mandalore’s interests. You didn’t want your Mandalorian caught up in Mandalore’s issues, and the race for the throne.
”I’ll do it.”You finally declared, obvious sadness in your voice.
“Thank you, Y/N.”
Mando embraced you. You felt your naked and warm skin against his, slowly remembering where you were and especially how bare both your skin was.
“We’ll see each other after, Y/N. I promise you when this is all over, we’ll make our own home. No matter what.”
You nodded, and without thinking, you embraced Din with your arms, pressing him hard against you.
“Come back to me, tin can.”
“I will, Jedi.”
*****
“What were you doing all this time?”Cara questioned when you finally decided to exit the little room with Mando.
You blushed subtly, and stared at the ground, flustered.
“It was strictly professional.”
Cara laughed out loud, making Bo-Katan looking at you suspiciously.
“So professional, your shirt is unbuttoned and there is a hickey on your neck. Mando isn’t as lowkey as I believed him to be after all.”She joked, hands on her hips and her gaze focused on you.
Avoiding everyone’s looks, you sighed. Hopefully, the Mandalorian walked out of the room, and suddenly all the attention was on him.
He tilted his helmet in wonder.
“What?”The bounty hunter questioned with his modulated voice.
“Apparently you had fun, huh?”Cara Dune interrogated him, with a discreet wink.
“What? I was-“
The scientist who was still in the ship glanced at the Mandalorian and declared:
“What she was trying to say is did you enjoy your time with this Jedi here? Oh, and don’t make this face, we all know what you both did there with all the noise and the banging. We aren’t deaf.”
At this precise time, you wanted to slice him. This so-called scientist was first terrified, and now, he felt confident enough to make such nasty comments.
“One more remark, and you’ll end up as mincemeat for the Tibedees.”You threatened the scientist, your lightsaber initiated and ready to kill.
“We need to focus.”Bo-Katan interrupted.”This is not a game.”
“Come on!”You cheered.”We’re gonna kick some ass!”
“It’s been years since I’ve heard someone talk like that.”Bo-Katan proclaimed, remembering the years when she was still part of the Deathwatch.
*****
You were fighting stormtroopers alongside Cara Dune. It was an easy task. You were born to fight, even if deep down, you knew the Force wasn’t something born to let the blood flow.
“Y/N?”Cara asked.”Ready?”
Quickly, you pushed aside your thoughts about the Mandalorian and the Deathtroopers, hoping the man you loved would make it alive.
“More than I’ll ever be.”
Cara nodded, before you abandoned yourself to the fight.
When you finally arrived in the control room, you searched for Moff Gideon, but when you didn’t see him anywhere in the room, you began to panic. You couldn’t breathe anymore. Where was the Child? Where was Gideon? Was Mando falling into a trap? You wanted to scream desperately, but no sound was coming out of your mouth.
“Where is Gideon?”Bo-Katan screamed.”Where is he? He is mine!”
“Well, I believe he is not here.”You replied sarcastically.
“What is he doing! He should’ve been here.”
“We need to relax, Bo-Katan. Screaming would lead nowhere. Moff Gideon isn’t here, and I know where he must be.”You sighed, praying the Universe to spare the man you loved, and the Child you adored as he was yours.
Bo-Katan was trying to calm down and Cara was talking to you, when suddenly you heard a door closing.
“What happened?”Bo-Katan interrogated, eyebrows raised in wonder.
“Mando!”You cried, relieved to see him alive.
“He brought him alive that’s what happened.”Cara declared. And now the New Republic’s gonna have to double the payment.”
“That’s not what she was talking about.”Moff Gideon said, a mischievous smile drawing on the corner of his lips.
Gideon looked at you, grinning, as if he was finally robbing you of your future, everything you dreamed of. Stolen in only a sentence.
“Why don’t you kill him now and take it?”
Bo-Katan eyed the Mandalorian, weighing her options in her head. She wanted the Darksaber more than life itself, and she was ready to kill for it.
You advanced protectively in front of the Mandalorian. If she wanted the Darksaber so badly, she would have to kill you first.
“It’s yours. The Darksaber. It belongs to you.”
Mando examined carefully the lightsaber, and then, he glanced at you, as if the answer was hiding in your eyes, well-hidden in your pupils.
“Now… It belongs to her.”The bounty hunter pronounced, giving the Darksaber to the ex-member of the DeathWatch.
“She can’t take it. It must be won in battle. In order for her to wield the Darksaber again, she would need to defeat you in combat.”
“I yield, it’s yours.”
“Oh no. It doesn’t work that way.’Moff Gideon chuckled.”The Darksaber doesn’t have power. The story does. Without that blade, she’s a pretender of the throne.”
At this moment, you wanted nothing more than to kill everyone and just flee with the Mandalorian and the Child. Where was your happy ending? Where was your “and they lived happily ever after”?
“Come on, just take it.”Mando proclaimed, the Child in his hand.
You thought nothing could have gone worst, until now. Deathtroopers were boarding on the ship. You were a Jedi, you could help kill them, but with your strong attachment to the Mandalorian and the Child, your bond with the Force was sometimes unstable, and you were terrified to end up like Anakin Skywalker. You knew you didn’t want to repeat the past mistakes of all the Jedi before you. Now that you had created your own Way, you needed to master your feelings. It was easy to break the Jedi Code, but to carve your own path into history wasn’t an easy task. When you would fight, you would need to forget about your feelings. You needed to free yourself from guilt.
“They are coming! Seal the doors!”
You heard the Deathstroopers hitting the door.
“We’re gonna be fine, Y/N.”Mando murmured at your side.
“Stay here, little guy.”You whispered to him.
“Ready to fight hand in hand?”You asked Mando.
“A Jedi and a Mandalorian? How ironic.”The bounty hunter chuckled, even if this Jedi was the best thing that had happened in his whole life.
“I sense someone.”You exclaimed.”The Force is strong in him.”
“A Jedi.”Bo-Katan cried.
And then, you saw it. The green lightsaber. You knew who it belongs to. But if he was there, it would mean only one thing. Your life would change forever.
“Be careful!”Fennec screamed.
Moff Gideon tried to shoot at Bo-katan and then, seeing you and the Child unarmed, he shot at you. The Mandalorian jumped in front of you, shielding you and the Child in the process.
“Everything alright?”Mando asked, caressing your face quickly.
You acquiesced and stood up, watching Moff Gideon trying to attempt suicide, until Cara stopped him.
Grogu watched the Jedi advancing towards the door, and whined.
“You trust him Grogu?”You interrogated, feeling a little weary.
He whined again and you knew you and Mando were taking the right decision.
“Open the doors.”
“I said, open the doors.”The Mandalorian commanded, his eyes not leaving you.
The mysterious man took off his hood and entered the room.
“Are you a Jedi?”Mando asked.
”I am.”
“Come one little one.”The stranger said to Grogu, a hand towards him.
You watched Luke Skywalker’s features. He looked alike his father so much. Staring at Luke in front of you broke your heart.
“He doesn’t want to go with you.” Mando said, and you sensed the fear in his tone of losing the Child.
“Mando.”You murmured, taking some steps towards him, and putting your hand on his shoulder in reassurance.
“He wants your permission.”
“He is strong with the Force, but talent without training is nothing.
“I will give my life to protect the Child…”The Mandalorian declared.
“And I’ll give mine too.”You added.
“But he will not be safe until he masters his abilities.”Luke answered, determined.
“Y/N.”Mando whispered, asking your permission silently.
You nodded, your eyes becoming slowly weary.
“Hey, go on. That’s who you belong with. He’s one of your kind. We’ll see you again. I promise.”
The Child cooed and you sensed in the Force a deep sadness. You didn’t know if it was yours or the Grogu’s.
The Mandalorian began to remove his heavy helmet with a determined and precise hand. He wasn’t forced to, but he felt like he needed to. No matter what.
Grogu whined, and stroked Din’s features softly, trying to memorize every single wrinkle.
“Alright, pal. Don’t be afraid.”
You caressed Grogu’s head, a small tear running on one of your cheeks.
“Hey, little guy. It is goodbye, but not adieu. We’ll see each other again. If someday you hear about a Mandalorian and a Jedi, come say hello. You’ll always have a home with us. Always.”
The Child cooed and stroked your cheek. You put him on the floor and stared at Din Djarin. His brown eyes crossed yours, and he smiled sadly. You began to intertwin your fingers with his, and instead of pulling away, he tightened his hold on your hand. You were the only thing keeping him alive now.
You heard beeping and you recognized R2-D2.
“R2, my old friend!”You exclaimed.
R2-D2 began to make circles around you and a lot of beeping.
Luke nodded at Din, and then at you gratefully.
“There’s place for another Jedi on the ship.”Luke announced seriously, staring at you.
The Mandalorian examined you carefully. He was terrified. The Child had left him, and now you would probably do the same. The only thing he wanted was to beg you to stay at his sides, but he couldn’t cage you forever.
“I am sorry, Luke, but I can’t accept. I have found a home here, and I won’t let any Code prevent me from living my Way.”
Luke Skywalker acquiesced, and you squeezed the Mandalorian’s hand harder. He was your home, now, and if he would let you, you would stay at his side forever.
“May the Force be with you.”Luke said as goodbye.
“Always.”You replied.
The Jedi turned around and began to walk towards his ship, leaving you and Din alone for a long time. And maybe forever…
“And what now?”You asked, your tears flowing on your cheeks.
“We keep on living Y/N, together.”
“I don’t know if I can, Din. What if all of this is a mistake? What if I made the wrong decision choosing my Way? What if Grogu’ll die? What about us?”
“Shhh.”
The Mandalorian embraced you with his arms and stroked your back.
“Y/N. I need to tell you something.”
“What is it?”
“Do you know I love you, right?”He put Grogu on the floor, hidden behind a table. You patted his head.
“Huh, yeah. Din, I am scared, what is it?”
He chuckled, removed his helmet and threw it on the floor. “I don’t need that, today.”
“What are you doing?”You laughed.
“Something I should have done days ago.”
The Mandalorian began to kneel before you, and he took out a small pouch from his pocket. He opened it delicately and took out a thin elegant ring.
“Y/N, would you like to marry me, an annoying and grumpy Mandalorian?”
You chuckled, and felt tears threatening to run on your face. Not because of happiness or sadness, but because of too many feelings overflooding you.
You stared at Din Djarin’s face, he was tired, dark circles lodging under his eyes, and he was waiting for your answer nervously.
“I take it as a no?”He murmured.
“Yes! Of course, I want to marry you, tin can!”
You threw yourself on his arms and held him tightly.
“You know, since the first day, I loved your grumpy tone and your groans.”You joked.”I’ll marry you, Din Djarin, only if you’ll have me, an annoying Jedi that talks too much.”
“There is nothing more I’d want than to live my whole life at your sides.”
“I love you, Din. Seriously.”
“Me too. If not, I wouldn’t ask you to marry me.”
You tapped his shoulder playfully.
He pulled away, and gently passed the ring on your finger.
“This ring was made with beskar. With the beskar of my armor. I wanted you to have a part of me, and a part of our beginning and how we met.”
“Thank you. For everything.”
“We’re a clan of two now, and we don’t need Creeds or Code if we have each other.”The Mandalorian said, looking for your hand.
You leaned on, and kissed Din. The Child wasn’t here, and it wasn’t the end. It was only the beginning of your adventures with the Mandalorian.
———
I hope you liked the last chapter of More than Partners! I am waiting for season 3 to continue! Tell me if you want to be tagged or remove from the taglist!
Taglist: @lol-who-am-i @kiaralein @hoodedbirdie @eyeliveinabook @horsesandwolvesaremyanimals @mitamixer @fleurdemiel145 @kneeldowntoyouralpha @pinkninja190 @esoltis280 @over300books @sad-anxious-girl @jedi-dreea @katialvi @lover1307 @dee-vn
⬇️Chapter 14⬇️
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cuppajj · 4 years ago
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I wrote a drabble a long time ago!
This was ripped from a discord chat I was in with a friend a while back, so I wrote a little background at the beginning to clarify the context. But YEAH you all asked for my boy to suffer once more, and as someone who is equally evil, I happily oblige!
Because it was written a while back I'm questioning if it's canon, BUT as of now it is! And even if it isn't then it's still fun and definitely within the realm of reason. Also, I might turn this into a comic? Probably not in the near future, but it keeps popping up in my head and I wanna do something about it eventually...
BUT ANYWAY! Wanna see a bomb in pain?
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TW! Violence, death, this is G9 after all! Anyway enjoy the juice <3 hot mama that's a lot of angst asjkdfhejfehksvfsdfasj
Cont/BG - You know how Overlord likes to sit on his throne being all posh as everyone else kills each other?
Frankly, that’s the first time he and Drill met optics.
Of course, back then, with the first few fights, he didn’t see him with the interest he would later. When Drill was dragged out to those first few fights, he hadn’t learned to accept his status yet. Whenever his cell was opened the first few times, he’d look on at the guards in mounting horror as they grabbed him and dragged him out, all the way to the pit where he’d look up at Overlord and he’d look down at him. Then, they’d send out his opponent, and then they’d begin fighting to the death.The first few fights were tame in comparison to the later; at least back then, he still had much of his mind intact and in his palm, and it was easier for him to keep it that way. But as time went on, he also got used to the gravity of the situation. The gore brought on by those very same palms and servos as bots screamed for their lives. He’d nearly come to accept his fate as someone used for nothing else but disposable entertainment - disposable, like he’d always been in the past. But the clapping was always louder with every body, but the two red optics that bore into him with growing interest were ever like searing metal on the nape of his neck. After every fight, Drillburst would sing in his cell, cracked and shaky like a broken record. He used to have a song for every fall, but it became harder to think of one as the body count grew. The scratches along his cell walls fell from their rhythm and sank into little more but the claw marks of a desperate creature.
He’d started distinguishing himself from all the other trembling pit fighters. Unlike them, he’d been built to tear through even the most solid of rock and toughest of metals. His kill streak had topped the average and gone beyond. He’d never plead for his life to be spared. He hadn’t disintegrated into little more than a wild animal hellbent on killing everything Overlord pointed to.
Oh, but he’d gotten close.
Whether he knew Overlord had begun to favor him or not wasn’t clear. Nothing was usually clear. Nothing was clear. There was no usually. Not anymore.
He forgot if it was his tenth or eleventh fight—or twelfth fight—but he remembered the face of his opponent so clearly, scrambling away from him on the pit floor as he bled out and crackled like a machine bashed inward. So horribly broken and stabbed and it was all his doing.
The two met optics, fearful red to fearful yellow, as the nameless fighter struggled for words. He was bigger than him, almost as, or if not more, intimidating than him. He’d been snarling and eager to rend him apart when they’d first begun the match. He’d fallen so far from that.
“You—you monster! L-look at what you’re doing! You’re mindless!” Spoken with such fear. More fear than anger. It was ironic, what he said. When Drill’s pinkened drill halves glinted as he stepped forward, the other jolted with a whimper as his insults fell apart.
“Y-you—p—please—stop. Stop! You don’t—d-don’t have to d-do this! You don’t l-like this, and neither do I! You—you have a choice here, don’t you!? You weren’t meant to do this!” The corners of his mouth curved upward pathetically. He scrambled closer to the edge of the ring, the shadow of the other looming over him. He’d been so violent, so rabid in the fight; yet here he was, begging for humanity as his life slipped away.
Was this how it was supposed to go? Could even the worst of animals become whole again, only at the cusp of death? Would he glimpse into himself if he was in his spot, regaining his thoughts for even a few more moments?
It hit Drillburst somehow, though. Thoughts so murky and meaningless yet so dear to him at the same time. He wanted to stop and get his humanity back. He wanted to flinch and shiver and beg and feel.
But this was Garrus-9, no longer under Fortress Maximus’s watch. It was null of any sense of humanity and order. Nothing mattered anymore: insignia, alliance, status, and wealth. All void of meaning. Everyone became mindless drones doomed to slaughter each other in hopes that freedom would come.
And freedom was so desirable.
It shocked. He felt the tingle of electricity. Like a prick and a pat at the same time. He felt the same burning gaze.
Overlord whispered like a gentle coax, audible to no one but him.
“Kill him.”
On command, Drillburst surged forward like a specter. His face was unyielding as he moved like a predator rounding on a helpless animal. It wasn’t far from the truth. The other struggled to stagger away, pedes kicking against the cold metal as hard and as fast as they could.
Nowhere to run to. He knew that.
“Mercy! Mercy, m-mercy, please! I forfeit! P—Please!!” The animal begged. Drillburst’s optics were cold, pupils dilated.
With the first figment of expressed emotion, he parted his chapped lips.
There is no mercy here.
When he plunged his drills directly through the spark chamber, he heard the scream. He couldn’t drown it out. He’d never learned how to.
In and out, in and out, again, and again, and again. Until the agonizing wails drowned into the dark, and the paling body stopped twitching.
Nor could he drown out the clapping.
His head immediately began to throb and sear in pain, frame screaming and processor crying. It hurt. It hurt so much. He hated it. And he hated the pink. Unbeknown to him—or beknown—were the softening optics on him, the claps louder than the rest.
He sang so long and loud in his cell that his voicebox nearly gave out, and his digits threatened to bleed from how hard he scratched the walls. He had no song, but he sang anyway. Anything to remove the image from his head.
If his humanity would be truly restored on the cusp of his death, then how willing was he to reach for it?
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loving-daisy · 3 years ago
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Cry For Me | George Weasley x Reader
Masterlist | Cry For Me Masterlist 
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Chapter 7 - Make Your Rain Fall 
Words: 6.8k
Warnings: none
--------------------
As if I don’t know anything, I will stay by your side then at the end, break your heart 
Hours passed after supper at the Great Hall, Y/N Icestone alongside her best friend, Daphne, was seated at the leather couch in front of the fireplace inside the Slytherin Common Room. The common room was colder than usual, thus the reason for getting close to the fire. Y/N had her head leaned on the raven-haired girl’s shoulder who was reading gossip from a certain wizard magazine. A white fleece blanket was wrapped around her body as she stared at the window glass that separated the room from the species in the Black Lake. 
Despite all the hints the Slytherin gave to her Gryffindor, it seems like not a single one was taken. He’s more stupid that I thought, Y/N contemplated. 
Daphne scoffed, closing the magazine before looking down at her best friend. “Can you believe this rubbish? This quidditch star just dumped his girlfriend because he became famous. Turns out, he didn’t need the money anymore, seeing that he has landed a good paying job. What a git.” She muttered, shaking her head from left to right. 
“Parallel situations going on in here, don’t you think?” said Pansy Parkinson, a 4th year Slytherin who was also in Draco’s year, said, absentmindedly revealing that she was eavesdropping and that she knew about the Icestone-Weasley relationship going on. 
Y/N rolled her eyes on the comment, deciding to still remain quiet and let Daphne handle the young Slytherin. “Didn’t your father ever tell you that it’s rude to butt into a conversation?” Daphne sneered, obviously irritated. 
Pansy just gave a small shrug before proceeding on replying “I mean, it’s kind of obvious isn’t it? Weasley is poor, Icestone is not.” 
This caused Icestone to snap out of Daphne’s shoulder and face the girl. “What the hell did you just say?” She said in a threatening voice, a scowl in her features being displayed. Once again, Pansy gave another shrug, this time, a smug one. “Just stating the obvious. I mean, a fact is a fact right?” 
“The fact that you put your nose in somebody else’s business speaks a lot about you.” Daphne commented. “Well...I guess you can say the same to most of the people here in Hogwarts.” replied Pansy. 
Y/N stood up from the couch she was sitting on, brushing her uniform before blankly looking at Daphne. “Come, Daph. I don’t want to be out here any longer.” She called before briefly walking towards their shared dorm room.
____________________
Y/N sat in front of her big vanity mirror, brushing her lustrous hair after she washed up and changed into her satin nightgown. 
There was one thing her eyes were focused on, and no, it wasn’t her hair nor her appearance. It was on the single diamond that was seated simply yet classically on her chest, the Icestone jewel. 
She abruptly stopped with her actions, narrowing her eyes on the glowing stone before turning around to her best friend who just came out of the bathroom. 
“Daphne.” She called. 
“Yes?” the raven-haired girl answered, stopping in front of Y/N as she dried her hair. 
Icestone only gave the girl a smirk, hundreds and millions of thoughts running wild inside her mind. Daphne stopped in her tracks and placed both her hands on her hips, an eyebrow raised towards Y/N. “You have a plan, don’t you?” She suggested. 
Y/N’s smirked converted into a mischievous smile. She turned her back towards Daphne, facing the vanity mirror again as she grabbed on her night cream. “Oh you must be mad if you think that I’m just gonna let go of it easily. I won’t. And that’s that.” She hinted, making the raven-haired girl get closer to stand behind her. 
Through the reflection of the mirror, Y/N saw the confused yet excited look on her best friend’s face. “I’m not exactly sure what you mean by that...” Daphne trailed off as she placed a hand on Icestone’s shoulder.  
Y/N placed a hand on top of Daphne’s. “You must know me, Daphne. I always finish what I started.” She proclaimed, dropping her hand to her lap. “I’m gonna continue.” She stated. 
“Continue...what exactly?” Daphne questioned, slightly still confused yet a glint of sparkle was in her eyes. “You’re going to continue what I’m currently thinking of right now, aren’t you?” She tried to confirm. 
The seated girl merely nodded, her grin bigger than ever. “I’m gonna continue what I started last year. My plan. Didn’t I tell you before?” 
Excitedly, Daphne nodded before pulling the seated girl to a big embrace from behind, jumping up and down from joy. “Finally! Weasley’s gonna get so-” 
“Y/N?” A small voice interrupted, the figure flying past Daphne and landing on top of the vanity. “Yes? What is it, Mira?”
Looking closer at the small winged-fairy, Mira had an uncomfortable look on her face, unsure whether to deliver the news to Y/N. She hummed, getting down on her knees as she sat on her heels and placed her small hands above her thighs. “Tell me, Mira.” Y/N encouraged, a concerned look enveloping her face. 
“Outside...uhm...someone’s looking for you.” Mira manages to blurt out, nervous of her action’s outcome. Y/N gave a nod, still waiting for her fairy to give her more details about the outsider. After a few seconds of waiting, she asked. “Who is it?”
“George Weasley.” Mira muttered, earning a small gasp from Daphne who was now seated on the small powder-blue couch situated inside their shared dorm room, flipping through the letters both of them received. 
“Are you going to meet him?!” The raven-haired girl asked, dropping the letters on the tea table. Calmly, Icestone gave her a nod, her lips turning up to give a small smile. With a flick of her wand, black sweatpants and a matching black jacket was placed on top of her baby pink nightgown. 
“Yes, of course. How will I go with the plan if I don’t execute it? A plan can’t always be a plan, Daphne. You have to take action. I guess mine goes back on track right at this moment. See you later.” 
____________________
Y/N managed to spot the ginger a few walks away from the common room, effortlessly hiding behind a small statue. Though her heart was beating like it wanted to come out, she managed to walk towards her boyfriend in a calm, quick yet quiet way. 
“George?” She quietly called out as she tapped the tall boy’s shoulder. When he turned to face her, he gave her a wide smile causing Y/N’s heart to beat even faster. If that was possible. 
Trying not to break her façade, she crossed her arms above her chest as she raised a brow towards the Gryffindor. “What are you doing here?” She questioned, the tone of her voice showing how she was unamused. 
“Well, I got hungry so I snuck into the kitchens to steal some cookies.” George confessed, scratching the back of his neck. 
Before Y/N was able to nag, the ginger quickly added “I figured you would have wanted some. I am aware of your love for chocolate afterall and it turns out, the cookies were chocolate chips!” He exclaimed, showing the bag of cookies that was hidden inside his robe pockets. 
Icestone felt like melting on the spot. 
Forcefully grabbing the pack inside the ginger’s robes, Y/N joined George in ducking behind the small statue as she impatiently opened the bag and grabbed a bite. 
“Woah- Woah! Calm down, Y/N! What if these cookies were products of Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes? Merlin! You really trust me like that, don’t you?” George teased, concerned yet relaxed for the Slytherin’s behavior. Only, it lasted for a few seconds as the girl froze in front of him, her eyes focused on the cookie that she was clutching with her hand. 
Her eyes immediately found the boy’s, in which she gave her stone cold glare. “George!” She complained, huffing as she shoved the ginger’s shoulder. 
“What?” George asked, a concerned look all around his features. “Is something wrong? I was only joking about these being our product! These aren’t it, I swear to Godric! Are you-”
“These are raisins!” The girl cried, giving another shove. George replied with a sheepish smile. 
One thing for sure was that even if the ginger failed to distinguish raisins from chocolate chips, the Slytherin still finished everything that was in the bag. And in the course of forcing the sweets down her throat, she had one thing, 2 meanings, on her mind: This is going to be harder than I thought.
____________________
“Aisu ston!” A deep voice called out, causing Y/N Icestone to stop in her tracks to find the owner. She knew who it was from and she was happy that they remained friends even if they barely saw each other. 
“Krum.” She greeted him with a charming smile. The Bulgarian gave a small smile, eyes traveling their surroundings before giving his full attention towards the girl in front of him. He clasped his hands together behind his back before slightly bending down to be in level with the Slytherin. “Or you bizzy?” He asked with a quiet tone. 
Y/N raised a brow due to Krum’s peculiar behavior. She could see how the boy was nervous and uneasy and it wasn’t like him at all. At least that’s what she knows over the course of years that she has known him. “Busy? Not at all. I was just headed to the dungeons to take a nap. Why?”
The Bulgarian gave another small smile, eyes darting around their surroundings before continuing to seek his intentions towards the Slytherin. “So...yor fwend…” He trailed off, unsure how to ask. 
“Daphne?” Y/N suggested. Krum shook his head in response. “No, not Dap knee. Da won ol waze in da lie burary.”
Y/N furrowed her brows in confusion, thinking hard on who in her circle of friends like to spend their time in the library. All she could think about was Theodore Nott, a Slytherin who was in the same year as Draco, someone that she knew because of the pureblood gatherings her parents attend. But they weren’t really friends and she didn’t think that he was the one Viktor was pertaining to either. “I don’t think I have friends who are always in the library…”
“But you do! I zaw you wit her in da hall...za won reading book.”
The Slytherin smirked, her mind visualizing the only witch she knew who would have carried a book with her always. “Curly hair?” 
Viktor thought for a while, visualizing the girl from his memories before nodding. “Yes.”
“Hmm…” Granger. “I guess you can say that we’re...acquaintances. Why?” The girl inquired, a teasing look on her face causing the boy to flush pink on the cheeks. 
“Wot iz er name?” He asked. 
Y/N displayed a wide smile on her face, happy for Viktor to finally get interested in a girl. When they were young, he would always suggest that romance is cheesy and that he never sees himself being in love with anyone at all. I guess the tables have turned. “Hermione Granger. She’s from Gryffindor.” Replied Y/N. 
The Bulgarian nodded, trying to pronounce the Gryffindor’s name in his head a couple of times to remember. “Thanks.” He muttered, offering a small smile.
Y/N crossed her arms, raising a brow towards Viktor to give him a small interrogation. “Why are you asking?” 
The boy shrugged in response. “Nothing.” He denied but the pink on his cheeks gave his denial off. 
“You think she’s pretty, do you?” The girl suggested, poking the boy in his sides to tease him. Krum coughed in response before displaying a fond smile. “Beautiful.” He admitted, his eyes lighting up as he said so. 
George Weasley, who was hiding at the next corner of the hallway, scoffed before walking away.
____________________
The next morning, as Y/N headed to the Great Hall for the day’s first feast, the second she stepped foot up above the Slytherin dungeons, she felt a pair of hands drag her arm to a secluded corner. 
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” She demanded, huffing. The girl pulled herself away from the man, annoyed as she attempted to straighten her Slytherin robes to look put together like she usually is. When she looked up to spit some spiteful words towards the man, it was as if her tongue held itself back after her eyes landed on a familiar tall ginger. 
Like the Slytherin, George Weasley wasn’t so friendly at this moment. He had a scowl on his face, clearly bothered by something Y/N is yet to know. 
The Gryffindor crossed his arms. “Care to tell me how you know Krum?” He asked calmly, the tone of his voice being in contrast to the annoyed look that he had on his face. 
Immediately, something clicked in the girl’s mind that made her display a smirk, mirroring the boy’s crossed arms. “He’s a family friend.” She admitted. “Now, if you would excuse me, I don’t really want to deal with your foul behavior so early in the morning. I should head to breakfast.” She said, escaping the boy’s blocking figure to continue her route towards the Great hall. 
The boy groaned, following the girl by walking side by side. “How?” He inquired, still greatly annoyed. 
Y/N gave another shrug. “I don’t know. I don’t remember. My father has a lot of friends.” 
In response, George groaned, not getting the answer he expected. “Okay.” He muttered. 
Silence fell in their atmosphere as they walked. And it was awkward because George was never this quiet when he was with Y/N. Y/N also wanted to push further, seeing that the annoyed look on the boy’s face as well as his inquiry about the Bulgarian Quidditch player gave the information of how he saw their encounter and got jealous of the boy. “What’s wrong?” She questioned, her tone soft. 
The boy huffed in response. “I just think that he doesn’t see you as a friend.”
“Me?” The girl seeked clarification, the boy answering with a single nod. Y/N let out a laugh. “Why do you think so?” She asked. 
Again, George huffed as a response, the laugh Y/N let out provoking his annoyance even further. “Don’t be daft. I saw you flirting with him in the hallways yesterday. Rather, he was flirting with YOU!” He accused. “Calling you beautiful and stuff…” He muttered, his eyes landing on the floor to avoid the piercing eyes of the girl. 
The Slytherin let out another amused laugh. “Friends can’t compliment each other?” 
“I think he intended on something more than just a compliment.” The Gryffindor pointed out.
“If I didn’t know better, but I do, I do know better, I wouldn’t think that you’re jealous over Viktor Krum.” She suggested, trying to get the boy to admit his true feelings. 
George let out a scoff. “Me? Jealous? As if! He might be a professional Quidditch player but I’m the best beater around this era of the Gryffindor team! Scratch that, I’m the best beater in Hogwarts today. So no, I am not at all jealous of Viktor Krum.” 
The Slytherin faked a cough in disbelief. “But it seemed like that to me.”
“Not everything you see is true.” George pointed out.
“Exactly, George. Not everything is what it seems! He wasn’t complimenting me, he was complimenting your friend.” Y/N informed. George, still not taking any of it, continued to rage. “And who is this ‘friend’? You?”
Y/N leaned closer to the tall ginger to whisper. “No. Granger.” 
“Granger?!” He clarified, shock written all over his face. Y/N nodded in response. “Yeah.”
“You’re kidding.” The Gryffindor accused, still not believing the Slytherin. The girl raised a brow in annoyance. “Do I look like I am?” 
The shocked look on the boy’s face was replaced with amusement. “Merlin! Ron is gonna flip!” He howled, now smiling from ear to ear after he got closure that the Bulgarian didn’t fancy his girlfriend. Also because of the fact that things just got interesting for his younger brother but that’s another story. 
“What do you mean?” The Slytherin asked, confused. 
George let out a giggle. “Git is too scared to admit his feelings for the girl and now he’s gonna compete with bloody Viktor Krum.” 
“Woah.” Y/N managed to react as her mind was flying elsewhere after they turned to the hall where the doors of the Great hall is placed. Her eyes travelled to find her raven-haired best friend, who was waiting outside with crossed arms. “Things just got so interesting.” She muttered.
This time, it was the Gryffindor's turn to get confused. “What do you mean?” 
The girl shrugged in response. “Nothing. You know, just the love triangle.” She said nonchalantly. “Gotta go. See you later!” She announced, walking faster. 
“No kiss?” In response, Y/N sent him a small flying kiss before turning away and secretly making a face towards Daphne, who was now sneering. 
George groaned. “I was expecting something more than that.” He muttered. 
____________________
Later that day, as Y/N headed back to the dungeons to fetch her extra ink bottle, she was bothered once again by a certain ginger.
“Psst! Icestone!” He whispered-yelled. Y/N stopped in her tracks to turn to look towards the voice that called her, raising a questioning brow before crossing her arms above her chest. “Care to tell me why you’re down here in the dungeons?” 
“It’s George.” Fred said, a feigned worried look plastered all over her face. Y/N mirrored his facial expression, although faux like Fred’s, seeing that the boy was lying to her. “What about him?” She inquired. 
A smirk spread all over the ginger’s face. “You see, that I can’t tell.” He teased, causing Y/N to display an annoyed look. “Why start a conversation about him then?” 
“You are too stubborn for your own good.” Fred pointed out. “But-“
Before Y/N was able to spite, she got interrupted by Fred. “As I was saying, before I got rudely interrupted by a certain someone-“ 
This time, it was Fred who got interrupted. “Rudely interrupted? Me?” Y/N asked, pointing to herself as she gave a displeased look towards the boy. 
“George wanted me to give you this.” Said the ginger, ignoring Y/N’s glare. 
Y/N took the small rolled parchment, examining it. “What’s this?” She asked, earning a groan. 
“Quite obvious, isn’t it?” Fred pointed out. 
The Slytherin sneered. “Geez I didn’t know you worked part-time as an owl Freddie. Where’s your wings though?” She teased. 
The boy scoffed. “Owl? Me? If I were to be compared to a thing with wings, it definitely wouldn’t be an owl. You see, I’m an angel-“ 
“Angel?!” The girl said, unamused. “Well, you don’t look like one.” 
“Why? Do I have to be naked to look like one?” Fred suggested, raising a brow. “Oh, Icestone. I don’t think my brother would be pleased to know that-“ 
Y/N scoffed in response, holding her hand out, motioning for the boy to stop. “Oh please. You’d probably look like hell.” 
“Because I’m hot?”
“Because you look like a dump.” She teased before finally entering the dungeons and making her way towards her space. As she entered her room, she immediately laid with her stomach on her soft mattress to take the red ribbon off and open the piece of parchment. 
I love you. - G.W
The Icestone scoffed, failing to hide the grin forming in her face. “That’s it?” She muttered in disbelief, shaking her head from left to right. 
“That’s what?” 
Startled by the voice, Y/N looked up to see Daphne. She shook her head in response. “Nothing. I didn’t notice you came in.” 
The dark haired girl displayed a smirk. “Probably because you were too busy ogling over that note you got there. It’s probably from Weasley, isn’t it?” 
Y/N nodded as a response, sitting up to properly face the girl. “Correct.” 
“Huh” Daphne let out, shaking her head afterwards before pointing her finger towards the hand that held the note. “Whatever that is, don’t you think that...you don’t have to wait any longer to conclude your plan?” She suggested. 
“Why not?” Icestone asked. 
Daphne shrugged, making her way towards their shared vanity mirror to fix her hair. “I mean, he’s practically in love with you! Everyone in the school knows that! You even told me that he said it multiple times now. Breaking his heart now wouldn’t make much difference if you break his heart tomorrow.” 
“Oh but Daphne...that’s the thing. It makes much more difference because it's going to make it linger. That way, he won’t get up easily. He won’t forget what he did to me.” Y/N explained, her reply causing Daphne to turn towards her with a serious expression. 
“You’re lying.” Daphne pointed out. Y/N shot an offended look. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 
“I’m not stupid. I know you. I know you’re fueled with hatred, thus, the reason for your revenge plan going on but...you don’t want to end it now because you love him, don’t you?” 
The Icestone heir scoffed, looking away. “I don’t love him-”
Daphne waved a hand, not believing any of her best friend’s excuses. “I guess you…” She trailed off. “I guess you want to have this thing going on for a while before...hmm.” The raven-haired girl suggested, stopping midway to not bring up the topic Y/N was pushing away for quite a while now.  
Y/N sighed, her shoulders slumping before fully laying on her bed to face the ceiling. “Daphne, once again, you are right.” She admitted. “I just...wanna feel loved you know? I mean, for once in my life I want to experience what it feels like to be loved and to be in love with someone that overlooks...well, all of me. I don’t think I’ll experience this feeling after I finish my time in Hogwarts.” 
Daphne laid beside the Icestone heir, mirroring her position. ”I get what you’re trying to say but don’t you think it will be less painful for you if you end this now? I mean, I’m sure this ‘linger’ thing that you’re trying to imply won’t only affect the Gryff. It will linger for you too.” 
____________________
Y/N sneaked herself out of the Slytherin common room after finding out from her fairy, Mira, that a certain Weasley twin was waiting for her outside. The happenings felt like Deja vu. Only this time, she had a different feeling. She was troubled. 
“Cookie?” George offered, showcasing the bag of cookies he got from the Kitchens. Y/N groaned, crossing her arms over her chest. “I swear in Salazar’s name that if your cookies are raisins, I’m gonna feed you to the species outside the Slytherin common room.” She threatened, grabbing the bag. 
The Gryffindor shivered. “Isn’t the Slytherin common room under the black lake? What if the giant squid eats me?!” 
The girl merely shrugged, not paying attention to the boy as she struggled to open the bag. As she reached into her pocket to grab her wand, to no avail, she remembered not grabbing it from her nightstand before going out to meet George. So, she looked up at him, handing him the bag. “Can you open this?” 
George grinned, picking it up from her hands to open it before placing it back on the girl’s hands. “I promise, I double-triple checked it this time! Those are chocolate chips, not raisins!” He reasoned, now unsure of his analysis. 
In response, the Slytherin raised a brow, grabbing a piece of cookie from the bag to place it in her mouth. The second the flavor spread, she displayed a furrowed brow, glaring at the Gryffindor. 
George let out a nervous laugh. “Well, I got you your cookies so I think I’m gonna go-” 
“I’m just kidding! It is a chocolate chip. Thank you, Georgie!” Y/N beamed, grabbing another sweet. In response, the boy smiled from ear to ear, both his hands placing itself on the girl’s cheeks to pinch it. 
“Hey! Get your hands off me, please. I am eating.” The girl complained, swatting the boy’s hands away. George let out a small laugh, fondly looking at his Slytherin. 
The playful atmosphere suddenly became serious after Y/N pierced her cold-but-warm-like eyes towards the boy’s. “I hope I never found out that you’re someone else, George. Because I love you, just as you are.” She admitted. 
The heart of the ginger leaped out in joy. “You do?”
Y/N gave him a nod. “I do.” 
____________________
Saturday evening, the Icestone heir was found at the leather couch in front of the fireplace in the Slytherin dungeons. 
“Y/N.” A familiar voice softly called. 
“Draco.” Y/N acknowledged, briefly glancing up to look at the 4th year. 
“May I?” The boy asked, his eyes landing on the vacant spot beside the Icestone. The girl simply nodded in response before turning her attention back to the transfiguration homework in front of her. The boy awkwardly sat at the leather couch, hands clasped together on his lap as he turned his attention towards the girl who barely acknowledged his presence. 
After a few minutes of silence, Draco awkwardly coughed, earning the attention of the Icestone, who raised a brow in anticipation. The blonde Slytherin ran his fingers through his hair, thoughts running everywhere in his head. Something was off with the Malfoy heir today. First he kindly approaches Y/N Icestone in the common room then asks to sit with her and now he goes and initiates a conversation to which he doesn’t seem like his usual confident and cheeky self.   
“Look, about last summer…” He trailed off, grey eyes piercing Y/N’s. 
Icestone closed her eyes for a few seconds before letting out a frustrated sigh. “Save it, Draco. I don’t really want to talk about it.” She muttered before shaking her head to shake off her thoughts. 
“Are you...still with Weasley?” The blonde boy carefully asked. 
Y/N’s face contorted into a sneer before finally closing her transfiguration book to fully turn her attention towards the Slytherin boy. “What’s it to you, anyways? We still have a couple of years.” She stated, slightly getting annoyed as she has to go through this conversation once again. That is, with a different person this time. Not to mention the Malfoy heir. 
“I get it but are you aware?” He asked. 
The sneer on the Icestone’s face was replaced by a look of confusion. “Aware of what?” She inquired. 
“What he’s been doing to you.” Draco replied, his reply causing the girl to scoff and cross her arms. “Don’t tell me you know about that too.” She muttered, the thoughts she shook off earlier coming back now. 
“I do. I heard them once.” Draco informed. “I’m sorry.” 
What? Icestone looked at Malfoy with disbelief. Why is he suddenly acting so nice towards me? “Why are you acting weird?” She asked, half joking, half serious. 
“I’m not acting weird.” Draco denied. “I just care for you.” He reasoned. 
“All of a sudden?” Y/N seeked, still not convinced. 
Draco gave a small nod, making eye contact with the girl to show that he was being sincere. “I’ve always cared about you. I knew longer than you think. That was why…” He paused for a moment to carefully think of his words. “That was why I kept on bothering you.” 
“Oh...I didn’t notice. I thought that you just had fun annoying other people with your arrogant presence.” The girl teased, bumping her shoulder to the boy’s to lighten up the mood. Draco’s face contorted into a small sneer. 
“But why?” Y/N asked. “Why not do something about it?” 
“I don’t think I have a choice, do I?” He answered. Y/N hummed in response, nodding in agreement.  
Malfoy broke the brief silence. “I guess...we should work it out as early as now, don’t you think? I’m kinda tired of always quarrelling with you.” 
Y/N beamed in surprise, her eyes shrinking due to her lips curling. “Woah...who are you and what in Merlin's name did you do to Draco Malfoy?” She further teased, poking the arms of the blonde boy before bursting into laughter. Draco laughed with her. 
The other Slytherins in the common room were surprised to hear Draco Malfoy laugh genuinely. It wasn’t like the evil annoying laugh that they heard when he went on to tease Harry Potter. What made them even more surprised was to see Y/N Icestone and Draco Malfoy finally getting along. Took them long enough. 
But then again, a few of them, or rather those who were in Draco and Y/N’s circle of friends like the Greengrass sisters, Zabini, Parkinson, and Crabbe and Goyle, knew the reason why. At least they’d both be on good terms before Draco finishes school. Blaise, seated at one of the couches with Pansy, thought. 
“So...friends?” Draco offered his hand in front of Y/N, his grey eyes hopeful. The girl’s soft hand met his, shaking it. Y/N nodded with a small friendly smile plastered around her face. “Friends.”
“How long did you know? About Weasley.” The boy inquired, curious as to why Y/N wasn’t doing anything about it when she could’ve hexed him or given the ginger a piece of her mind like she usually does when someone crosses her. 
“Last year, a few days after Gryffindor beat your ass in the quidditch finals.” She replied with another teasing directed towards the blonde. “Hey!” 
Icestone laughed at the boy’s offended look. “I mean, it’s not my fault you failed to catch the snitch right before Potter.” She added, once again poking Draco’s shoulders to tease him. 
After she calmed down, her face displayed a small smile. Innocent but mischievous. “Hey, but don’t worry. I have a plan and I think you’ll love it.” Y/N announced with confidence.   
Draco mirrored the look on her face. Well, not innocent but still, it was a mischievous look. “Well, in case you need any help. You know who to owl. Afterall, I am Draco Malfoy.” 
“Oh please. Your name is just as powerful as mine.” 
____________________
Upon hearing the sound of light footsteps that belonged to a certain Slytherin, George stood up from the space that he was seated on, greeting his girlfriend with a wide grin as he held his arms open for a hug. “Y/N. You’re here.” 
The Slytherin landed inside the Gryffindor's warm embrace, her cheeks planted on top of the ginger’s chest, where his heart was placed. “Well, you did tell me to meet you here.” Y/N said.
George nodded, looking down to face the girl. “Correct.” He muttered before breaking away their interconnected bodies to properly face her. Y/N had a blank expression plastered around her face but she was waiting in anticipation on what the Gryffindor would do next. Normally, there would be a picnic blanket under a basket of snacks on their usual spot where the stars are perfectly seen but the girl noticed that neither was present. There was no picnic blanket, no basket of snacks, and no stars. The sky was filled with grey clouds as if rain would be pouring soon. 
Additionally, George looked more serious than he usually was. Something was up and Y/N had mixed feelings about it. 
After a few more seconds of silence, the girl decided to speak. “Well...why?” She asked, doe-like eyes looking at the boy’s warm ones. But even the familiar warmth in the boy’s eyes was not in attendance. It was cloudy too. Clouded with trouble. 
George sighed. “Because I have a confession to make.” He admitted. 
The Icestone heir absentmindedly raised a brow because of the statement. She crossed her arms above her chest, resting her weight on one foot as she waited for the boy to continue. Her anticipation got stronger and stronger as time passed by. 
George let out another sigh. “I love you.” He unsurely uttered, resulting in Y/N replying with a snort. “You told me that a thousand of times already-”
“But I lied.” The Gryffindor butted in. 
The statement caused the Slytherin to stop in her tracks, her heart dropping to her stomach as nervousness consumed her. “What?” She inquired, now feeling very insecure and vulnerable. 
“I said ‘I love you’ but I lied.” The ginger admitted. “I don’t love you. In fact, I don’t even like you.” He announced, nose scrunching up with a face of disgust as he examined the girl from her head to her toes. In response, the girl pushed the boy’s shoulders as hard as she could, backing away from his tall presence. 
Y/N Icestone felt foreign and she didn’t like any of it. This was the first time that something like this ever happened to her because not once did she ever expect that some day in her life, the reason for her hurt would be from a Gryffindor boy. 
“What are you saying?!” She demanded. She was furious, enraged, and heart broken. She thought that George loved her. She thought her plan was fool-proof. She thought she implemented her plan really well. How can George Weasley not fall in love with her, Y/N Icestone? 
The ginger’s face contorted into a mischievous smirk, crossing his arms over his chest. “Fred? If you will.” 
Suddenly, the other half of the Weasley twins came into the light, standing side by side with his brother as he mirrored his crossed arms position. The girl felt even more furious. She was being humiliated in front of two Gryffindors! Not only are they Gryffindors, but they’re the Weasley twins! News would spread so fast. What would people think of her now? 
“What is he doing in here?!” She bellowed, both her fists clenching in anger. 
The older twin scoffed before displaying a sneer. “You see, Icestone. You just got pranked.” He informed. 
Tears started to gather in Y/N Icestone’s eyes. If it was possible, her heart sank deeper. She was feeling a lot of emotions and not one was a great feeling to experience. One thing for sure, right now, she was facing one of her greatest fears. Losing, failing, and disappointing herself. 
“What?” She asked in disbelief, her voice hoarse from trying to keep the tears falling. 
“You got pranked!” Fred happily howled before displaying a fake frown on his face. “You’re not deaf, aren’t you?” 
The girl shocked her head, backing further away until her back hit one of the walls in the Astronomy tower. Her right hand reached the diamond that she wore around her neck, fidgeting with it to calm herself down. She avoided the twin’s eyes, blinking once, twice, thrice, four times, five times, to evaporate the tears away. She was struggling to accept the events that had been unfolding in front of her. “I don’t get what you’re-” 
Y/N was cut off by Fred and George’s maniac laugh. “For an Icestone, you’re pretty stupid for your own good.” Fred pointed out. George nodded in agreement before giving the same examining look of disgust towards the Slytherin. “Shame. You do have a pretty face though.” He said.
Outside the Astronomy tower, thunder started growling. This can’t be happening. Y/N thought to herself. She still couldn’t believe that her initial plan to get George Weasley fall in love with her backfired and now she was the one heartbroken. But George. He told me he loved me. He showed me he loved me. How was that all just a lie? 
With all the courage the Slytherin has left, she gathered her strength to pierce her eyes towards the taller ginger’s. “George-” She called out before getting cut-off once again.  
“G-George-” The younger ginger mocked, laughing with his brother. “Can you believe this Fred? We really got the Y/N Icestone wrapped around my finger.” 
George walked closer towards Y/N, the girl feeling smaller and smaller as the boy got closer and closer. The ginger stopped in front of her, looking down at her with fake sympathy. “Honestly, Icestone. Who could love you? You’re nothing but a girl walking around this school like you built this bloody castle all by yourself. You’re not like the queen that you think you are, Y/N Icestone. You’re the ice queen and nobody even likes you! Also, let’s be honest. If you didn’t carry your Icestone name, you’d be a nobody.” 
Rain started pouring hard. “The only people who you can expect to love you are your parents! Oh wait, do they even pay attention to you? I heard pureblood fools like your parents go off and marry their daughters to some other pureblood bloke to get you off their hair!” Fred mocked, the twins cracking another manic laugh. 
“How dare you! I thought- I thought you were different!” The girl cried out. Hot tears freeing themselves, free falling down the apples of her cheeks like the rain falling as the storm commences.
“Y/N? Y/N!” Daphne, who had a worried look on her face, looked down at the girl as she laid on her bed, tears all over her face. The Icestone heir sat up, shock spreading all over her body as she realized that none of the events were true and that all was just a bad dream. A very bad dream.
The back of Daphne’s hand found its way to Y/N’s forehead, checking her temperature. When her diagnosis told her that the girl wasn’t sick, she sat beside Y/N before wiping the fallen tears of her best friend using her thumbs. “Are you okay? I heard you screaming.” Daphne asked, her eyes glossy as it is still full of sleep.  
“It was a dream…” Y/N muttered to herself, shaking her head before running her hands through her disheveled hair. The raven-haired girl merely nodded, grabbing to hold Y/N’s hand. “A bad one, it seems. Do you want to talk about it?” 
Y/N shook her head in response. “Maybe tomorrow. Sorry for the disturbance. You can go back to sleep, Daph. I promise, I’m okay.” She convinced both herself and her best friend. Daphne gave her a hug before heading back to her own bed, sleep immediately consuming her back. 
“You’re getting a taste of your own medicine, Weasley. I’m gonna make your rain fall.” Y/N thought to herself.
____________________
Monday evening came and a certain ginger was found moping as if he was a toddler whose privilege of eating candy was taken away. George didn’t see his Slytherin the whole day. They didn’t share classes so the chances of seeing her was slim but the fact that he didn’t see her in the Great hall for breakfast, lunch, nor dinner was worrying him to the point that he attempted to visit the Slytherin dungeons. If it weren’t for the Potions master talking to Gryffindor’s head of the house, he would have been able to sneak himself around that area. But he had no luck.  
Midnight almost came and he waited at the astronomy tower for hours, expecting the girl to show up to make it up to him. But then again, he had no luck. There was no sign of Y/N Icestone anywhere. He tried to count the stars, count his freckles, count the trees of the forbidden forest, and count whatever he could count just to make time pass as he continued to wait for Y/N. However, he gave up when he saw that the sky was getting clearer and clearer as the sun was about to rise.
When sleep-deprived George came back to the Gryffindor tower to get ready for the day’s breakfast, he noticed a deep red withered rose sitting on top of his bed. If it weren’t for the familiar black envelope with silver writings, he would’ve thought that someone was threatening him. But no, he knew it was from the girl he was dying to see all day. Everyday.
She must have sent it last night to give notice that she wouldn’t meet me at the tower. Too bad that the rose is withered already. He thought. 
With anticipation, George examined the withered rose, frowning for letting it wither before putting it down to grab the black envelope. Slowly and carefully, he opened the expensive paper, reading the note.  
Roses are red, violets are blue; 
When I said I loved you, none of it was true. 
Guess what, player? You have been played, too. 
Icestone 
A second after George read the little poem written, he felt the familiar sticky white cream thrown all over his face. 
End of Chapter 7
____________________
Author’s note: I’m back! I apologize for being M.I.A. I got caught up with life but I’m back now! 
Taglist: @abrunettefangirlnerd @gloryekaterina  @lilypad-55449  @memekingofwwiii @leovaldez37 @bellaiscool @sukunas-cult-leader
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angst-fairygodmother · 4 years ago
Note
Can I request a fluffy little fic with Klaus? And like he’s always super supportive even if he doesn’t quite understand what you’re doing, he’s kinda always like “fuck yeah look at you go!” I could really use the love lol
A/N: Hey Nonny. I didn’t know what sort of things you meant, so I defaulted to what’s familiar for me: the struggles of higher education.  I hope you enjoy it, and that whatever you’re doing, you know it’s amazing because you’re doing it 😊 Word Count: 1944 Content Warning: mild language, brief references to drugs
You groaned, your head hitting the table as you stared down at your circled answer, the wrong answer again. You were determined to keep taking this practice test until you got it right, until all of the answers felt like second nature. Except you kept making the same mistakes over and over again instead. 
Your pen sailed through the air, causing your best friend, and eternal headache, to duck with a chuckle as it clattered against the wall. 
“I see studying's going well,” he teased, walking further into the room.
“Klaus Hargreeves, unless one of the assortment of pills I just know are in your pocket right now is a magic one that will help me remember this shit, I say this in the most heartfelt and loving way possible: piss off.”
He pressed his hand to his chest dramatically. 
“Exqueeze me?” he trilled, “I come to make sure you’re alive, as you’ve not been seen in days, and this is the thanks I get?”
“I’m serious Klaus,” you sighed, running a hand through your tangled hair. “I need to study.”
He looked you over, taking in the bags under your eyes, your rumpled clothing, the sag of your shoulders. You were overworking yourself, as self-destructive in your own way as he was in his, and it pained him to see. 
“You need a break,” he said, crossing over to you and sweeping you up in his arms, toppling your chair in the process and surprising you with the strength hidden in his arms. 
“Klaus,” you whined, struggling ineffectively from your position pinned to his chest in a bridal carry. “No, I don’t have time for a break right now. Especially not the kind you mean.”
He sat down on your bed, keeping you in his lap and began carefully finger-combing through the knots in your hair.
“I have no ulterior motive, mademoiselle,” he hummed. “Only your wellbeing in mind. Relax with me for one hour,” the worst of your knots gone, he laid down, tugging at your arm to try and get you to join him. “And I will leave you alone for the rest of the night, or even help you to study, if you want.”
“I don’t want...chemical aids.”
He scoffed. “Who do you take me for? I know you better than that.”
“Then how could you help me? You don’t know anything about the material. Or testing.”
“I’ll...hold up your charming little flash cards, or read you the questions. I don’t know. Sit next to you and cheer enthusiastically whenever you get a question right and burn the whole book if it claims you’re wrong?”
You couldn’t help the giggle that slipped out, and were glad of it when he flashed you that dazzling grin. The longer you sat, awkwardly leaning and half in his arms, the harder it became to resist his temptation.
“Fine, one hour,” you said, attempting to be stern as you relented, curling up against his chest.
“No more, no less. And then we shall study until our eyeballs fall out,” he promised, fingers crossed behind your back as he held you.
~
Your hands shook nervously and you thought for sure you were going to sweat through your blazer as you paced the hallway outside the small lecture hall. You checked the notes you had tucked in your pocket and licked your lips to try and wet them, not that your equally dry mouth and tongue made much difference. 
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen of the board, distinguished faculty, and guests,” you muttered for what felt like the seven-hundredth time today. “No, that sounds stupid. Why am I calling the faculty distinguished but not the board or the guests? Maybe I should just do ‘good evening ladies and gentlemen of the board, faculty, and guests,’ but that sounds weird too.”
You flopped against the wall, groaning in frustration. This presentation was the moment, your time to shine, or to crash and burn, dictating potentially the entire rest of your career. And public speaking was not your strong suit. 
“Y/N?” your advisor said, poking her head out into the hall and giving you what was surely meant to be a reassuring smile. “They’re ready for you now.”
You took a deep, shaky breath. “Okay, thanks, Linda. I’ll be right in.”
This was your thesis you were about to defend. You had spent more than a year researching and writing it. So why did you suddenly feel like you knew less than the day you walked into your first “101” class? 
“Time to face the executioner,” you muttered to yourself, squaring your shoulders and walking in behind Linda, feet carrying you slowly down the aisle to the podium. 
You paused, taking a moment to arrange your notes and scan the crowd, looking for someone who looked friendly and unassuming, maybe a kindly librarian type, to focus on while you spoke.
Instead you locked eyes with a familiar, wholly unexpected pair of green eyes. You frowned, about to call out and ask what the hell Klaus thought he was doing here, when you remembered exactly where here was. You cleared your throat and tried to school your face to be placidly blank.
“Good evening,” you started, gaze still fixed on his face. “I would like to thank everyone for their time and attendance, um here, um today.” 
‘You’ve got this,’ he mouthed silently.
You smiled, launching into your presentation proper with gusto. 
Every time you felt yourself hesitating or fumbling, you sought him again, and his awed little smile bolstered you, reminding you of all the late nights he had spent up with you, watching you from your bed as you paced the room or sat hunched at a desk, thinking out loud or talking to him about it all, offering little suggestions (never that helpful) or affirmations (always very helpful) occasionally, just to remind you that he was there, for you. 
Before you knew it, your time was up and you exited the room to a smattering of applause. Out in the hall, a pair of warm arms wrapped around you from behind and lips were planted on your cheek. 
“That was brilliant! You were brilliant!” Klaus said enthusiastically before dropping his voice to purr in your ear. “And the whole ‘genius’ thing is very sexy.”
You felt your cheeks blush heatedly. “I’m not a genius, Klaus.”
“Well I had no idea what you were saying, other than super smart stuff, so I disagree.”
You slid out of his arms, although he did manage to keep one circling your waist, and started walking, planning to stop at the 24 hour cafe on campus for a quick pick-me-up and then head home. Klaus followed, holding you as close as you’d let him, planning to go anywhere and everywhere you wanted and nowhere else.
“How do you know it was super smart then, if you didn’t know what it was?”
“Because I know you, and you’re the smartest person in the world.”
“I am not,” you countered, giving him a gentle shove, blushing even harder now. 
“And because all those stuffy old academic types in there were impressed.”
“You think so?” you asked hopefully. 
You felt like you couldn’t get a read on the room the whole time you were presenting, and their questions had been extremely critical. 
His eyes twinkled as he stared down at you. “I know so.”
~
Before you knew it, graduation had crept up on you. You sat in the hard plastic chair in the stuffy canvas pavilion, surrounded by all of your classmates, and waited. It had been hours, and would be hours more, and you just wanted it to be over. No one was there for you, no one cared if you even got this diploma. You could probably slip out the back and be gone before anyone realized, the only sign of your absence the awkward pause when your name was read. 
It had always been this way, all through your schooling. Your parents didn’t really understand your career choice, or didn’t have time to come for campus events. You didn’t have a lot of friends due to the demands of your program, and your own innate awkwardness. Instead of being a celebration of your achievements, graduation felt like another reminder of how alone you were, how most people would never remember you unless you did something embarrassing like trip and fall off the stage. 
Making excuses and muttering apologies, you slipped out past the rest of your row of fellow graduates and out into the fresh air and bright light of the campus lawn. You breathed a deep sigh of relief, taking off your mortarboard hat and unzipping the robe-like graduation gown about half way. 
“Y/N?” you jumped at the sound of Klaus’s voice, not expecting him to be here of all places, and especially not coming out of the tent you had just exited moments ago.
“Klaus!” you gasped, hugging him. “What...what are you doing here?”
“I came to see you, obviously,” he said, booping the end of your nose. “So when I saw you looking like you might be making a break for it, I followed.”
“Oh.” You were flattered that he would attend or managed to spot and recognize you in the sea of identically dressed co-eds, confused how he’d found out the date and time, and a little annoyed that you’d been caught. 
“Were you running away?”
“They can mail me my diploma,” you said with a shrug. It wasn’t quite an answer, but it said everything it needed to.
“Y/N,” he sighed, placing his hands on your shoulders. “You know I don’t understand all this college, academic, brilliance stuff. But I know it’s supposed to be special and important and one of those things you’ll always remember.”
“Because it’s supposed to be a celebration. Only I don’t feel like celebrating alone.”
“Well, you’re not, are you?”
“My classmates don’t count. I barely know them.”
“I meant me.” He leaned down, pressing his forehead to yours. “You’re not alone, because I’m here. I’ll always be here.”
You smiled softly, staring into his green eyes, so tender and full of love, as you remembered all of the times he had been there already: how he’d gone to the post office and held your hand when you mailed out applications, how he’d listened to you practice for your admissions interviews for days on end, every late night study session and “study” session, every distraction from anxiously awaiting a grade, pulling you up when you sank into a slump or felt like a failure and cheering you on for your highs and successes. Klaus had never been through formal schooling, had no desire to for all that he was clever. But even though he never knew what the hell was going on, he was there for you through it. 
“I should have known that,” you murmured. “After all, you always have been before.”
“Even geniuses can’t know everything,” he countered with a shrug and a smirk, before leaning down to press your lips together softly. 
You wrapped your arms around his neck, stretching up on your toes to bring you closer to him as his hands slid down from your shoulders to rest on your waist, an embrace as much as a kiss. You became dimly aware of the sound of applause from inside, signalling the end (finally) of the current speaker. Reluctantly, you pulled away.
“I guess I should probably get back in there,” you sighed. 
“Only if you want to,” he said, thumbs tracing circles on your sides. “I’ll support you either way.”
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ballerinaroy · 4 years ago
Text
insecurities
A/N: Hi friends! This week has been a whirlwind as I’ve officially started a new dream job. I don’t know what my posting schuele is going to look like as I adjust to being a professional again, but in the meantime enjoy this lil’ snippet from something longer I’m working on. 
Summary: As Ron and Hermione plot out their first time, druding up some of Ron’s deep-seated insecurities.  
Ron is still convinced every time he gets Hermione alone that someone will burst in on them. By some miracle it hasn’t happened yet. But, it’s got him hyper alert to the point that he worries that if the times comes, when the time comes, that he won’t be at full attention.
“What’s wrong?” Hermione asked, her bottom lip pouting as she pulled away from him.
“Nothing,” Ron assured her quickly, diving back in to her neck.
“Ron,” She protested. “Tell me, am I doing something wrong?”
“What?” he asked, “No, of course not.”
“It’s just,” she sighed, pushing herself up so she was sitting up against his headboard. “I don’t know, it doesn’t feel like you’re into it.”
“I’m worried we’re going to get walked in on.” He burst out. “I know we haven’t, but-” 
“Oh,” Hermione said, looking serious. She bit her lip, one finger tracing his jaw. “Then we should get a hotel.”
Ron felt his eyes pop out of his head and his voice sounded rather strained. “We should?”
With an expression he’d always associated with Hermione breaking the rules and being excited about it, she bit her lip and nodded.
“We can’t get a hotel.”
“And why not?” she pouted. “Oh, come-on, we’re adults-“
“You tell that to mum-“
“-And I think it could be romantic, just the two of us.”
“Oh, is romance what you’re after here?”
“Think about it,” Hermione said, shaking his arm. “Our first time should be special. And that way I wouldn’t have to sneak out after, we could really spend the night together.”
“First time?” he asked, mouth suddenly dry.
“I haven’t,” she said and he bit his cheek, shame rushing through him. “No, Ron, I just meant our, first time.”
He didn’t say anything still, but his silence answered the question.
“Oh,” she whispered, feeling suddenly very exposed and crossed her arms to cover her bra.
At last Ron sat up too, passing her his shirt and they sat, arms flush, without looking at one another. He wasn’t sure what to say, where to begin. He should have known it would come up eventually, only he wasn’t quite sure how to talk about shagging his ex-girlfriend who was dead.
Bracing himself he asked, “So, what do you-“ just as Hermione asked, “When did you-“
They both stopped, meeting each other’s eyes and gave strained grins.
“Er, it happened right before the holiday,” Ron said, twisting his hands together in his lap. “We’d been doing stuff, I mean about a month in she gave me a-“
“I don’t want details,” Hermione told him quickly.
“Right,” he said, his face feeling even hotter. “Sorry, er, like I said, right before the holiday. Which, you know, wasn’t the best plan. I mean, it wasn’t a good plan at all. I felt weird after. She kept saying it would bring us closer together, and everyone thought we were anyway, which isn’t a good reason, so the night of Slughorn’s party-“
He felt the air leave Hermione’s lungs and he dare not look at her.
“Anyway, we did it, and then a few times after that and well…”
Thick silence descended upon them once more. He was too afraid to look at her, afraid to see the expression on her face.
“Does this change things?”
“What?” Hermione asked, “No, of course not.”
At last it felt safe to look at her and found her expression completely and utterly confusing.
“I just didn’t know,” Hermione said, “I mean, I suspected, but I didn’t know.”
Relief coursed through his body. “Is there anything else you want to-“
“No,” Hermione said firmly, shaking her head. “There’s not.”
Yet she didn’t seem inclined to share her mind for as they sat there, her look became even harder to read.
“Hermione?” he braved, reaching for her hand.
“Sorry,” she blinked, “I was just sitting here thinking how horrible we were to one another.”
“You think I’m horrible?” he asked, half joking.
“No, I think you’re wonderful,” she said, giving his hand a squeeze. It felt safe at last to put his arm around her, their fingers laced. “It’s just in school, all the things we said to one another, the things we did.”
She frowned down at a scar on his arm. It was hard for him to distinguish now where the plethora of thin white lines had originated yet he had no doubt she knew exactly where the one she kissed had come from.
“Why do you think that was?” Ron asked, though he had his own theories. “The horribleness.”
“Well, at first I think you just thought I was a know-it-all.”
“You are a know it all,” he clarified, kissing the top of her head even as she made a noise of dissent. “And then you got pretty and started getting other boys attention.”
Hermione let out a hollow laugh. “Pretty? And I hardly think Krum constitutes as other boys.”
“Right, famous international quidditch players, that makes it better.” Ron clarified, just to get a rise out of her.
“Anyway,” Hermione said tensely, not taking his bait. “And then sometimes it was that we couldn’t agree on what was best for Harry.”
“And then there was by own self doubt,” Ron said.
Hermione looked at him, surprised, but didn’t interrupt.
“It never felt like I was enough,” Ron said, speaking for the first time the thoughts that had kept him up at night. “Growing up I had all these amazing brothers, and then I met Harry, and you were incredible at school so I never stood a chance. I was never the best at anything.”
“I had no idea,” Hermione whispered and she looked horrified. Instantly it felt that he’d gone too far and he tried to adopt a joking tone.
“Oh, come on Hermione, we all know your marks are better than mine.”
“Ron,” she protested, letting go of his hand and sitting up so he had to look at her. “I had no idea you felt that way.”
He struggled against another quip and suddenly felt rather queasy.
“Of course you’re the best at things.” Hermione insisted. “You’re a good chess player-“
“Just because I have lousy opponents-“
“And you’re a good friend, the best friend in fact, I mean Harry’s fine, but he’s pretty lousy at being there when I need someone but you-“
“It’s alright, Hermione,” he assured her.
“No, Ron, you’re the bravest person I know,” she said, and he was stunned to find tears in her eyes. “Ron, you saved me. You saved my life. When I fell unconscious in that ball room, I thought that was it. I thought I had died and then you were there, shifting through shards of crystal and candle wax. You could have left me there, but you didn’t. You saved me.”
“Anyone could have-“
“But it was you.” She whispered and he suddenly he was aware of every heart beat, every breath and he gripped her arms to keep himself steady. “Ron you are the most amazing person I have ever met. And it hurts to hear you talk like that because it’s not how I see you, it’s not how anyone sees you.”
“I love you Ron,” she whispered, and a sudden smile spread across her lips.
“Funny,” he attempted.
“Stop it,” she commanded, even as her smile grew and a nervous giggle escaped her. “Oh, God I swear I’m not…I’ve been trying to figure out for days how to tell you and…God I feel…Ron I love you.”
And he believed her. From the hurried tone of voice, to the worry in her eyes, right down to the giddy smile on her face.
“That’s good,” he told her. “I mean, I love you too. Of course I do.”
And he did. Without a doubt he knew that he loved her. His heart felt light and full at the same time and there was nothing left to do but kiss her. Long and hard and doing so he tried to pour back into her a fraction of the love she had just given him.
Never before had he spoken about the deep insecurities that had crippled him. Always too afraid that they’d be dismissed or mocked. He should have known that Hermione would counter with a well thought out argument. He loved her. God, he loved her.
“So,” he said, breaking off suddenly, “About that hotel.”
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write-it-good-imagines · 5 years ago
Text
85% - Lim Jaebum (M)
@iwanttobejaebeomsslut asked and I provided! Hello everyone! This came as a request from our lovely aforementioned blog and I’m telling you, this was one helluva ride tho. Enough rambling, enjoy~
Synopsis: You have to give a full percentage of yourself in a relationship to make it work. Jaebum learns the hard way that any number below that is a certain cause of destruction.
Warnings: angst, smut, unprotected sex
~4.5k words
“Breaking up with someone is…yeah.”
You had just closed the door of the apartment, only to be welcomed by a small commotion coming from the kitchen. The lively sound of vegetables being diced and some indistinctive ingredients being boiled served for a false distraction from the fatigue starting to kick in. Although you had a refreshing night with your girl-friends, you had long forgotten how taxing it was to spend a full night out in the middle of the week. You kicked off your shoes and threw your backpack on the floor. An ominous feeling started nurturing in your chest.
“I don’t know. She’s probably out late with the girls… Yeah, no, I didn’t know.”
You distinguished Jaebum’s voice among the variety of little sounds mixing together. It seemed like he was talking on the phone with someone, his back turned to the kitchen door as he divided his attention between cooking and carrying the conversation. You paused your movements and leaned against the outer wall, listening in. It looked like he was talking about you.
“Distant? Yeah…no, I didn’t get the chance to tell her.”
Tell you? Tell you what? You pursed your lips. What was Jaebum hiding from you?
“Jinyoung-ah, how can you find a nice way to tell your girlfriend something like that? It’s…It’s never that easy.”
You let out a hollow chuckle and folded your arms over your chest. You felt anger swirling up in your veins. You were getting a pretty clear idea of how that scenario would eventually play out.
“Of course I will. The longer it drags, the harder it will be. Catch you later, Jinyoung-ah. I don’t want to burn the recipe…yeah, thanks.”
You peeled yourself off the wall and dug a hand in the pocket of your jeans. You threw the keys of the apartment on the kitchen table with a loud noise and it successfully captured Jaebum’s attention. The little smile he had on his lips irked you. “Is this what you have been doing lately, Jaebum?”
His eyebrows knitted together. He looked like he had no idea you overheard his previous conversation. “Doing what, exactly? I want to test out those cooking classes—“
“Let me rephrase.” You clicked your tongue. “Is this what you were busy doing while actively ignoring and neglecting me? Planning a nice and easy way to throw the break-up text in my face?”
Jaebum hissed and returned to chopping the vegetables. “It’s not like you bother paying too much attention to me either, Y/n.”
You could not believe your ears.
“Go fuck yourself.”
Jaebum slammed his knife down and shifted his body to face you. “What did you say?”
“Oh, so now you are interested in what I have to say” you laughed bleakly and shrugged your shoulders. “Should I say it again?”
“What’s with this attitude? Huh? Lately, there’s always something you don’t like, something you complain about. What the hell is it that you want?”
Every ounce of patience you had left was wearing thin. You analyzed Jaebum’s face and found nothing but outright irritation and displeasure. It satisfied you beyond measure. It was only natural he should get a taste of his own medicine. You took a step closer to him, holding your ground. “You don’t get to blame this on me. You have no right.”
Jaebum scoffed at your words and raked his hair with his fingers in an evident annoyed manner. “Of course, it’s my fault only. I am the only one in this world who doesn’t understand you.”
“You are a hypocrite.”  
You stormed out of the kitchen, your breathing ragged from all the failed attempts to compose yourself. The unidentified feeling that invaded your chest as soon as you entered your shared apartment bloomed into a hurricane, sweeping all your entire being. Rather than feeling sadness, you felt a sinister rage boiling in your lungs that you knew you wouldn’t be able to tame.
You couldn’t remember the last time you enjoyed some time in Jaebum’s company without constantly feeling pressured about something. Nothing you did for him seemed to be enough anymore. You tried visiting him at his company or call him randomly when you missed him but it didn’t appear to have much of an effect on him as it did in the early stage of your relationship. You two did not talk much about yourselves, either; Jaebum was always closed off. Your last resort was giving him the space he needed to put everything in order. You should have given up altogether had you known everything was just a cheap show of pretense.
Jaebum’s heavy steps trailed after you and you had to jerk forward to avoid his touch. “Why are you always leaving in the middle of an argument?”
That was the last straw. “You want me to tell you why I am always leaving, Jaebum?” your voice was raised, probably in a desperate attempt to get everything off your chest without any hesitation.
“I am done with this cat and mouse game! I am done with you always retreating in your little perfect bubble, I am done with you always denying my calls, I am done trying to make you communicate with me, Jaebum. Even when you actually come home, it feels like there’s a ghost in my bed. I am done wondering why I am not enough for you.”
Jaebum unconsciously took two steps back, his frame shaking slightly. You shook your head softly and let your hands fall to your sides helplessly. “You’re putting your fucking guard up again.”
All he could do was look away. Jaebum couldn’t bear to listen, much less look you in the eyes. It was stupefying to hear about all of his insecurities shoved in his face. He should have figured out they would come haunting him.
“Y/n…” he began as you threw your coat over your shoulders and dug your feet into your boots. He remained silent, repeatedly trying to find something to say. And you waited, a sliver of hope still hanging on against all odds.
“You see, Jaebum,” you broke the oppressive silence instead, your tone trembling. “You cannot give someone only 85% of yourself and expect it to be enough.”
“It was hard for me, too.” He blurted out, his fist clenching. You turned away too, fearing that seeing him struggle would make you go back to square one.
After you had left what was your shared apartment in a frenzied rush, you drove mindlessly into the night, winter streets of Seoul, the fingers gripping the wheel in a futile attempt to suppress the amalgam of emotion in your ribcage. A couple of hours passed until you finally parked the car in a lot on the outskirts of the capital and crawled out of your seat. You rose your head to the sky when big snowflakes started waltzing in the air. You felt your phone buzz in the pocket of your coat and you lazily took it out. The text glowing on your screen made you break down in tears.
‘Let’s break up.’
The months that followed were undeniably hard on you. You sent your closest friend the following week to pick up your things from your old home because you didn’t have it in you to face Jaebum. The lack of messages and calls was impressive, even for the two of you. There were numerous times when your fingers ghosted over the ‘send’ button to forward a paragraph to him but you knew better than that. There was no need to tear yourself apart anymore.
It became hard to adapt to your new routine. Waking up in an unfamiliar bed and spending your time in a different house was strange. Even after winter ended and the warmth of the sun began enveloping the world, there still was an overwhelming coldness residing. It took you some time to grow accustomed to it. You loved Jaebum and you knew there were a lot of things left unsaid between the two of you but you missed feeling whole more than anything. Feeling unhappy was the last thing you wanted to remember about him and ending it, alas abruptly, was your way of keeping your fond memories intact.
Jaebum was a good lover to you. And having back the life you had was an impossible matter.
 It hurt to let go because you tried your hardest to hold on and it only seemed like it wanted to get further away from you. Blaming yourself for having felt, for having wanted, it was gnawing at you. It confused you because you thought your feelings were the wrong ones all along, that you let them go and they were not reciprocated. You felt like a deplorable criminal and it was mirrored all over your existence.
Distractions were everything keeping you from succumbing to your suffering. Keeping yourself busy was the only way you’d stop your mind from wondering about Jaebum and about your own mistakes. Gradually, it grew a little easier to breathe and wake up in the morning. You started pushing the curtains apart to let the sun come through and you were slowly and steadily eating more and more. Dealing with a broken heart was a complex and tough process. You knew it was also not an unbeatable one. Once you convinced yourself of it, you managed to gather the shattered pieces of your heart from the floor. You were not ready to move on just yet but you were not wailing either.
Of course, meeting and dating Jaebum exposed you to his other idol friends with whom you grew closer. One thing you appreciated about his circle was that they were totally impartial when it came to your former relationship. Just like that, knowing someone resulted in introducing you to someone new. You liked to think people did not despise you.
In a late august morning, the ringing of your phone awoke you from your sweet slumber. You brought it to your ear, trying your best to make sense of the words spoken to you. You were asked to help organize a private pool party for one of your closest friends.
The idea in itself made you beam with excitement. Your summer was sprinkled with events here and there, mostly dedicated to you. Your circle put in a lot of effort to drag you out of the pit and you couldn’t love them more for it. It felt good to help do something nice in exchange and a pool party was the one thing you didn’t know you needed. So you were in charge of reserving the location and the mobile bar. And because you loved being a tad extra, you reserved one of the largest skybar areas which had all the requirements.
  “You really invited a lot of people!” you giggled as you finished dressing with the one-shoulder bikini top. Your friend nudged you with her elbow, wiggling her eyebrows at you.
“He has a lot of friends, all right! We all needed this to celebrate the end of the summer before we go back to work. But you really went extra with this red two-piece.”
“You said it yourself, didn’t you?” you smirked and exited the changing rooms, grabbing a cocktail on your way out. “We’re celebrating!”
“That’s my girl.”
There were a lot of guests coming in, most of the people you had already met before. The crowd was thickening by the second but it was one of the few times you actually enjoyed it. You wanted to lose yourself among them so you could finally wash off the regret lingering in your heart. It didn’t take long for your group to gather and it took but a glance to agree on opening the party. All of you jumped in the pool, accompanied by roaring cheers. Others followed in after you, filling the water rapidly. The DJ didn’t hesitate to switch the music up, fueling the otherwise great atmosphere. You gathered quickly to the pool bar to down a shot and joined your girl-friends in a game of water volleyball.
“Hey, girls! I am going out to dry myself a little, I think I might turn into a siren if I stay any longer!” You announced cheerfully and got out of the pool to grab a towel.  You wrapped the soft linen around your body and a group of people gathering to the entrance captured your attention. You felt as if the weight of the whole world came crashing down on you.
Jaebum and his members were coming in.
You quickly turned your back to the entrance, your features wilting. You had to grab onto the metal railing to sustain your balance. Why were they there? Why was he there?
That was an unforeseeable situation. Leaving the party would be inconsiderately rude to your friend and avoiding all of them was beyond impossible. You were at a loss for words. All the months spent moving on from the murderous pain went down the drain in mere moments. You knew you couldn’t afford to reopen such a fresh wound.
You rushed to the barman to mix you another drink. Your index trailed along the rim before you gulped it down. Alcohol wouldn’t serve as a savior but it would at least keep your adrenaline contained. People were getting out too to enjoy the snacks, the drinks or to dance to the endearing music. You put the towel on a nearby surface and meddled with them in an attempt to restrain your thoughts. The alcohol in your veins made it easier for you to lose yourself to the rhythm, along with your friends who hyped you up.
However, the stares Jaebum kept sending your way were excruciating. As soon as he laid his eyes on you, subtlety flew out the window. He was at a considerable distance from you, surrounded by countless other girls who tried catching his group’s attention, yet you caught him glancing at you so many times you lost count. It vexed you. You wondered if he had always been that shameless. It was only getting worse as one of your girls attached herself to your back to start grinding against you. The glances turned to intent stares, burning through your skin. Your eyes connected once and you recognized that singular vulgar glint in his eyes. You could only guess how many scenarios ran through his mind. Unfortunately, you weren’t one to back out from a challenge.
You hated his guts and you absolutely despised his presence there when it was meant to be a perfect summer’s end for you and your friends. You recalled the way you felt that night you left his house and all the pent-up frustration burst forth. If he was staring at you, might as well offer him something worth staring at.
For the rest of the night, you welcomed any inappropriate or daring moves initiated by your friends. At a certain point, you even started enjoying it; you forgot how much you adored having fun. It served for good distraction as Jaebum managed to slip off your mind for a while. You didn’t realize when time passed so fast and guests started retreating to their respective homes. You lost sight of Jaebum and the rest of his members, too. There were hardly any people left and you needed to cool down your body of all the intensity, so you dived into the pool to execute a lap or two.
You pulled yourself to the surface and ran your hands over your face to wipe off the water. An indistinctive sound of water splashing echoed in the distance but you paid it no mind as you swam to the edge of the pool, leaning your back against the cold surface.
“Nice party, huh?”
You felt your body tensing up at the painfully familiar voice. You opened your eyes to see Jaebum in front of you, momentarily keeping his distance. Were you wrong earlier?
“Thanks, I reserved the place.”
Jaebum laughed and it tore open a piece of your heart. The sound was so beautiful. “Figures you did.”
You nodded your head and looked away. You wanted to escape that situation.
“We weren’t supposed to come, our schedule was packed.” Jaebum started as he ran a hand through his damp hair. “I am glad we did, though.”
You chuckled. “You would have missed a great party otherwise.”
Jaebum took a step closer to you, prompting his hands on either side of your body. You tilted your head to him, your eyes lifting up to his. You clicked your tongue at his gesture.
“You know I am not talking about that.”
“God knows what you are talking about, Jaebum.” You dared. “Don’t push this. We began as friends, let’s end as friends.”
“Friends are not supposed to look at each other the way I look at you.”
You pursed your lips, your breathing coming to a halt. So you were not wrong about your deductions. You inched your face closer to his, maintaining eye contact. “You look at me like any other male would look at a female he wants to fuck. That’s not something special.”
Jaebum’s reaction was entirely different from what you were expecting. Instead of scoffing and walking away as he used to, his eyes softened, unlocking the gate to his soul you never managed to pass through. “That’s not true, Y/n. I never took you for a stress reliever. Even though having sex with you pushed me over the edge every time.”
You felt his hands lowering to your hips to pull you toward him. The tips of his fingers sent scorching sensations through your body. You kept your distance, fighting a savage battle to keep yourself contained. “Sex is the only thing we did well, Jaebum.”
Jaebum leaned over, attaching his lips flawlessly to a sweet spot in your neck that always set you off. Your fingers clenched around the edge of the pool. Giving in started to feel like a plausible solution to your problem.
“It wasn’t the only thing we did well, Y/n. Waking up to you was the most joyous part of the morning.” Jaebum placed a chaste kiss behind your ear. “Writing songs with you was when I’d get the most inspiration.” Another kiss to your jaw. “Having you by my side was the only thing I could boast about shamelessly.”
Jaebum pulled away from you altogether, saving you from eliciting a moan. He looked both sincere and sad. “Loving you was the only thing I couldn’t do right.”
“I suffered, Jaebum.” You cleared your throat. “I suffered terribly even while being with you. Do you have any idea how it is to feel alone in a relationship? I’ve loved you all alone, Jaebum. It destroyed me.”
“You didn’t love alone, Y/n.” He pleaded. “I was a coward and I was so wrong. I knew I had to work on myself first and that was one thing I had to do alone.”
“I don’t understand you.”
“Then let me explain myself properly.”
Jaebum crashed his lips against yours and his hands took a steady grip of your hips again. He pushed his body atop of yours and you could feel his hardening bulge rubbing against your lower abdomen. A sultry moan evaded your lungs against your wish. Jaebum took the opportunity to slide his tongue in your mouth, engaging yours in a carnal dance. An unexpected amount of adrenaline was surging up inside you as his tongue worked on yours ardently.
“If this is the only way to make you listen to me, so be it.” Jaebum pulled back and did not give you any time to catch your breath. He pushed his knee in between your legs, the sudden friction making you bite back another moan. “Firstly, I need you and I love you, that’s unquestionable.”
Jaebum lowered a hand to grab your ass harshly, his fingers sliding inside your bikini for a better grip. You threw your head back in ecstasy. “Secondly, I am terribly sorry for breaking up with you through text but I knew that if I saw you again, I’d break and I wouldn’t work on my issues if I had you running by my side to pamper me.”
Jaebum pulled out his other hand from the water to pull your chin tenderly to him. The vicious glint in his eyes turned you on. “And thirdly, I swear to explain everything to you so you can decide if you give me another chance or not. What do you want me to do?”
You brought a hand to his hair, running your nails on his scalp then down to his nape. You smirked at the low growl escaping his lips. “I swear to God Lim Jaebum, if you don’t fuck my brains out right now, I won’t even consider listening to you.”
You saw a dangerous smirk growing on Jaebum’s lips. His knee pushed your legs further apart and his hand traveled to your core, two fingers pushing inside of you without any prior warning. A resonant moan vibrated in the air at the desired feeling of his fingers stretching you out and Jaebum leaned over to whisper in your ear. “You never told me you were into public sex.”
“I thought you weren’t.”
Jaebum circled his tongue around one of the prominent veins in your neck, a predator steadying himself to mark its prey. “I prefer shielding you from curious eyes but I have to obey my princess’s wish of fucking her outright.”
Instead of attacking the skin of your neck, Jaebum lowered his head to your breasts, pulling the fabric of your top for access. Your nails dug into the blade of his shoulder when his lips started sucking on your breast ever so passionate. You had to steady yourself as his fingers began curling in and out of your core, the avalanche of moans coming out of your mouth filling the air.
“Jaebum…oh, right there”
Jaebum glanced up at you before admiring the beautiful colored spot on your breast. He licked his lips and attached them to yours in a fiery kiss. Your eagerness hinted at your first orgasm much faster than you anticipated. Jaebum allowed you to take the lead of the kiss so he could focus on the movements of his fingers getting faster.
You moaned into his mouth and threw your head back, holding onto Jaebum’s shoulder to grind against his magical digits. Jaebum let out a groan of his own; watching you surrender to the pleasure he was granting you, the way your lips parted with every airy sigh echoing in the air and the way your body reacted to every little gesture arose him greatly. He placed his other hand on your inner thigh to keep them parted as your warm walls clenched around his fingers. “Come on, Y/n. Cum on my fingers, beautiful.”
It didn’t take long to satisfy Jaebum’s wish; a high-pitched moan signaled your orgasm washing over you and Jaebum helped you ride it off eagerly. You barely had any time to inhale that Jaebum flipped your body so that your back was facing him. “I believe we’re not done just yet.”
Jaebum lowered his head to press a trail of butterfly kisses along the upper part of your spine that made you arch your back. He traced a finger over the scarce piece of material and you detected disapproval in his tone.
“This is very much in my way, gorgeous.”
“You’ll leave me naked if I take it off.”
Jaebum chuckled and prompted you to raise your arms so he could remove it. He draped an arm over your breasts, grabbing one of them in his hand to play with. A yelp emerged out of your chest. “Problem solved.”
He resumed his previous actions, peppering kisses over your spine that caused goosebumps to appear. He truly knew your body inside out.
“You like that?”
You hummed in approval, throwing your arm around his neck as he pressed his chest to your back. “Very much.”
“It means you will just love this.”
You bit your bottom lip in anticipation. Jaebum pulled down his shorts and guided his erection inside your wet cavern. He moaned into your shoulder, grazing his teeth over the sensitive skin at the contact he longed for. His length filled up every inch of you and you leaned forward to adjust to his size. He had always stretched you out to your limits and you could never get enough of the euphoric sensation.
Jaebum’s thrusts started at a fast and rough tempo that found an excellent angle every single time. Before you knew it, you began chanting his name like a mantra. His hand cupping your breast was only adding to the infinite bliss whirling uncontrollably through your veins. Your body reminded you how dependent you were of his touch and how he was the only one who could make you reach absolute nirvana. There was no use denying yourself anymore.
“Fuck it, Y/n, I missed you so much. I could never live without you.”
Through the rapid pacing of your breathing and the mixture of moans coming from both of you, you heard his words loud and clear. You brought his face to you to pull him into a desirous kiss in response. Jaebum added his middle finger to your clit, rubbing against it masterfully, and you had to take a grip of the edge of the pool. Your vision was getting blurry and you could no longer form coherent words because of the ecstasy exploding inside you.
“Oh, Jaebum…”
“I know, love.”
Jaebum was panting but that didn’t stop him from picking up the pace and hitting your sweet spot with every sharp movement. A well-known sensation built up rapidly in your stomach, igniting your core almost devilishly. You couldn’t hold out any longer. Your walls clenched around his thick length and Jaebum sensed it, pulling himself completely out of you before coming back in to offer you deeper thrusts. You placed your hand over his, guiding his fingers to rub your clit just the way you desperately needed.
Your second orgasm hit you violently and Jaebum had to sustain your body as you came. You screamed out his name in euphoric pleasure and the overwhelming warmth of your juices ensured Jaebum would follow closely behind. It took a couple more angled thrusts for him to release himself inside of you and an airy sigh approved of the nice feeling.
“I am sorry for that, I couldn’t hold back.” Jaebum whispered as he gently turned you to him and placed his forehead against yours.
“If there’s anything you should apologize for is me not being able to walk tomorrow morning.”
He chuckled and you circled your arms around his neck, holding on to his broad back. Your breasts were pressed against his chest, trying to cover yourself. Jaebum pulled up his shorts and guided your legs around his waist before wrapping his own arms around you. You were so comfortable with the familiar warmth his body provided. It was an abrupt turn your life took and there would be much to do to make it work but you could feel it wouldn’t be a scarce 85% again.
“Let’s get out of here.”
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