#as long as you have fun doing something that's all what matters right?

[summertimesadnessirl]

It doesn't matter.

If you have done everything you can to try to get the life you want and nothing works, it doesn't matter why you got that way. All that matters is don't keep trying to get love and letting people use your desire for it against you.

I'm pretty sure it's not actually real. And it's just something they made up to sell soap.

So that's the model I work with.

As long as I refuse to allow myself to believe anyone loves me, everything works out well. When I break that, people hurt me.

People will guilt you into saying it's because you don't pick the right people but no matter what criteria you use it's always the same. And no matter what treatments you apply to yourself, it's always the same. And no matter how many new styles of communication you learn to talk to other people, it's always the same.

For me the only thing that kind of worked was doing sex work and being super fake and having several hundred shallow fake relationships that had a lot of sex and weren't boring and miserable, because whenever I've tried to not date and just hang out and do other things like working or something either people bother me all the time and are really mean and annoying or they are always "conveniently" introducing me to people they want to fix me up with. Men and women and like? Those people are always basically on the same emotional level as the people I have already dated and seem really shy and kind of uninterested in me. When I talk them out of their shell, they seem still shy, like they basically admire me for not seeming shy to them and like how I dress but don't have anything in common with me and we wouldn't have anything to talk about, or they have kind of a mental picture of a type of super assertive girl who will be into their lack of experience and want to like... put spices on them and let them sit on the counter top for a full moon cycle and then write out a recipe for them that they can use to attract someone who will love them now that they aren't virgins or something, and they don't want to admit that to me up front, which is very mean to do, to want someone to like... be your character development without asking and then not let them prepare to be left with nothing from that interaction in exchange for being a cute story you talk about with your future spouse or whatever.

Most people don't seem to want a relationship with a particular person or a particular type of relationship or even like have considered their own potential deal breakers. Not "I didn't realize this thing I thought everyone did wasn't a thing everyone did" or "i was wrong about my needs in certain areas" or whatever. They genuinely have no idea like what they do for fun that is a group activity, and they make you spend like an hour trying to figure out what they want every time they want something and most of the time when you give it to them they're unhappy.

It's like people want me to be in a relationship just so I'll be in a relationship and other people want to be in a relationship with me just to be in a relationship and even people with lots of money who can leave and who spend all their time complaining about their relationship don't want to leave their relationship. And when I'm like "I don't want to be in a relationship right now because I'm broke or whatever and I wouldn't be able to leave a relationship easily." People are like *shocked pika* why wouldn't you go enter into a relationship with someone who wants to date you based on you having a normal level of kind conversation that you would have with a person on the street and being able to give them sex? Why would you not want to break up with the person you are dating and date a random old man who did your boss a favor once because he gave you a ride in his truck? Why would you not just let other people make major life decisions for you? Why are you not jumping at every chance we give you when it doesn't look or feel right?

It feels like the goal of the whole thing is having someone else to blame for your problems. I don't wanna do that to someone. I hate when stuff isn't my fault and I have to suffer for it anyway. That's why I cut my own hair and pierce my own ears and stuff. So if it gets messed up, it's just an accident and it's because I have never done that before and I just need to figure out how to fix it and I can take all the time I need instead of trying to like... figure out the magic buttons to push to get someone who broke something to be willing to admit they messed up and will try to fix it and like... having to wonder if I can trust them if they're a specially trained and certified expert and they aren't better at doing something than a person who went on the internet and read a tutorial and kind of guessed.

Idk. It's like if you told me most people in the world don't like sex or dating or anything and they aren't in love either and there's like some kind of mystic force that attacks people who don't live with a partner by such and such a time and have a kid by such and such a time and no one told me? I'd totally be like

"That explains everything."

Was I raised without love or was I born unlovable?

[adamsrcnan]

honestly i think it's a little redundant to write any think pieces on what jean's endgame ship will be. it's going to be jerejean whether you like it or not. that's the story nora is writing. she said it herself when she announced it. this story is a love story but it's also a story about jean and his journey to recovery (and just because jeremy is the future love interest that doesn't diminish the importance kevin has on jean's life either. jean's feelings for kevin are very much still there but so is the betrayal and hurt of him leaving him in the nest. it's a very convoluted relationship of which we still don't know much about. only what jean has told us, so far. as the man who believes his feelings have not been reciprocated to the same degree, mind you. like, we still have two more books to go, one with more scenes with kevin in them where we will learn more.).

as for jeremy...lmao. have we not been talking about how little we know of him since the book dropped? and now all of a sudden people are claiming to know everything about him and decided he's no good? based on one book? and for some reason because he isn't handling his new traumatised teammate perfectly like a professional with a psychology degree he's somehow not right for jean? since when has anyone in this universe been perfect? or dealt with trauma professionally and perfectly?

do i think it's right that jeremy crossed some boundaries to get some answers about jean's past? no. do i think it's right that he overshared jean's truths to his friends without his permission? fuck no. but we're dealing with a whole different group of people here, most of which have not been traumatised to the level the foxes had been. who are not used to dealing with people like jean. jeremy has his own issues yet to be revealed, he clearly has problems standing up to his family (as seen with his sister), though he has no issue captaining his team (as seen with lucas) and it's suspect that he also doesn't think himself to be as great of a person as everyone else does given the sad look on his face when jean tells him he could never be anyone's villain. so idk why anyone thinks they know anything about him when he's so cagey in his own pov. and nowhere in that, may i add, has he ever implied he wants to "fix" jean. he wants to help him. he wants to give him reasons to enjoy his life now that he can i.e making him take that silly ceramics class for Fun. and given jean has had his whole life centred around exy (which he doesn't even enjoy anymore) i think it's actually very smart and helpful to get him doing things that "don't matter" so that he can learn from it and learn that he can actually live outside exy. that he can make mistakes and be imperfect at something and that's Okay.

at this moment in time in canon, kevin doesn't have that kind of mindset and it's probably because he was allowed the freedom to already pursue an interest outside of exy - his love of history. like are we missing the detail that he begged tetsuji to let him take that as his major and he actually allowed it? kevin, though still has a long way to go, still has something outside of exy he can hold onto and switch off from. jean doesn't have that and jeremy just so happens to come along and give him the option and for some reason that seems to get ignored. i think it's actually one of the most important things about their relationship so far. jeremy still makes all the accommodations jean needs - setting him up with class partners, taking him for a run when he needs to get out of his head, buying a bed to sleep in the room with him. but he also pushes back and insists jean try something to break him out of his unhealthy relationship with exy.

also, hello, jean literally admits to himself it's a Lie when he tells jeremy he doesn't want him to look if it's too much for him to deal with when jean is attacked by grayson. and jeremy refuses to look away. something everyone around jean has done since he was born, probably.

"Jeremy’s response was low but unhesitating: “I will not look away.” “I do not want you to look.” It frightened him how much it sounded like a lie, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it..."

jean appreciates when jeremy is so very obviously attracted to jean and openly staring, but doesn't press and removes himself from the situation if he thinks he may come on too strong.

"Threat assessment, he told himself, and it was almost the truth. He needed to see the easy way Jeremy ceded Jean’s space to him. Jean couldn’t remember the last time someone allowed him any boundaries, and the feeling was as novel as it was addicting."

hello???? that is literally jean himself telling us jeremy just allowed him a boundary. how does that get looked over?

also he's content enough with jeremy in his space that he feels safe enough to almost drift off

"In the quiet he could hear Jeremy breathing, and it was almost as comforting as the heat of another body this close to his. It thawed the parts of him the sun hadn’t reached despite soaking up its glare all day. Jean closed his eyes and let his thoughts drift far away. [...] This was the first time his room truly felt safe and right, and he was content to hold onto it for as long as he could."

mind you right after this jeremy presses that jean should have his own space and jean insists jeremy share with him and get his own bed. and let's not forget the obvious flirting that has jeremy immediately backtracking and telling jean to let him know if he ever makes him uncomfortable.

ALSO THIS

“Stop asking,” Jean said. “You only think you want these answers.”

jean may find it annoying and unfavourable that jeremy keeps pressing but idk i infer this to be more of jean not knowing how to handle someone actually giving a fuck about what was done to him when he was so used to everyone turning a blind eye.

finally (bc this is getting long) jeremy pushes himself into jean's space when he hugs him, and jean doesn't hug him back but he doesn't push him away either and jeremy is the one who has to wait for jean to let go of his shirt so he can move away.

"Jeremy heard the dismissal in it, but he waited for Jean to let go of his shirt before leaving the room."

i have made a post about this before but jean craves attention and affection, he wants to be loved and to be frank he fucking deserves it more than anyone else does.

i'll finish the post with one last line from jeremy's pov...

"...it wasn't his place to interfere with Jean's trauma or his healing."

jeremy isn't perfect, he's not meant to be.

[loveandleases]

Happy New Year, Lea!🎉

A bit late for the Chris Suffering™️ hours request, but I hope Chris had the New Year's they deserve 😇😈

Like feeling alone in a sea of people at the Clarke family party thinking about all the plans for the next year they ruined. Or making excuses to stay late at the office, looking at their old photos & videos of MC or lurking MC's socials envious of the fun time they're having 😘💩

Happy New Year, Erin!!!! ✨✨✨ Oh it's never too late for that. Down below ~

Chris huffs, their thumb dragging lazily across the screen of their phone. Another hour wasted listening to some overly ambitious sycophant drone on and on about a business proposal.

Useless, of course. Just another person wasting time on kissing their ass in hopes of rubbing elbows with their father. If their father wasn't in the room, Chris wouldn't bother pretending to care.

This was the first New Year's Eve in years that Chris had shown up alone. You weren't on their arm, no easy banter to distract from the myriad of questions they couldn't avoid. Jade could've come, but even the thought of her at their side felt... wrong. Besides, Chris' parents wouldn't have allowed it.

"They're under the weather." Chris lied smoothly whenever someone asked about you. "I'll pass along your regards." A well-practiced excuse, easier than admitting the truth—you were gone.

It had only been a week since the breakup, and already Chris could imagine the incessant questions their parents would ask. The truth lingered like an uncomfortable itch: Jade had filled a space, but not the one that mattered. Not the one you had left behind.

They could go home, drink that expensive champagne stashed away for the wedding, pop the cork, and down their day. However, what awaited them were rumpled sheets and a pair of chewed-up penny loafers, courtesy of the sulking fluffball in the corner.

Their phone buzzes in their hand, pulling them from their thoughts. A notification flashes across the screen: Your Year in Review.

They hesitated. It wasn't like they were paying attention to the person prattling on. With a flick of their finger, they opened the notification, and the slideshow began.

A strange sensation coursed through Chris, one they couldn't quite place. Surely, it was their mother's punch earlier that had left them off-balance.

Photo after photo stared back at them—smiling faces, laughter frozen in time. You leaning against them, your head thrown back, eyes lit with joy they hadn't seen in... how long? An engagement photo, the ring catching the light just right.

Chris swallowed hard, their throat tight. Their thumb twitched, but they couldn't swipe away, couldn't stop the memories from washing over them.

The smiles then weren't as practiced, weren't as forced. Not like the one they shoot their mother as she presses a hand to their shoulder.

"Chris, what are you doing? You know now is not the time to be taking a break. You need to mingle. Now is the best time to rub elbows when they're half drunk and loose with their wallets."

"In a minute," Chris replies, brushing her hand away without even looking up. The words come out smooth, detached, practiced—just like the smile they forced onto their face whenever anyone approached.

Their mother’s presence lingered for a moment longer before she clicked her tongue and moved on. Chris exhaled shakily, their eyes flicking back to the phone.

The slideshow was relentless, each photo more damning than the last. Your laugh. The way you'd looked at Chris, trust and love shining in your eyes. That warmth twisted something deep in Chris' chest, a sensation they couldn't shake.

Jade had tried. She’d promised “a night to remember,” but as far as Chris was concerned, she had already given them one that they're still paying for. The thought of her there, that insincere smile and hollow charm, made Chris feel cold.

They were supposed to have it all. The success. The prestige. The partner. But the truth, raw and undeniable, was that none of it mattered without...

Chris tightened their grip on the phone as the slideshow ended. The screen went dark, leaving them staring at their reflection in the glossy black. They barely recognized the person staring back.

The party swirled around them, laughter and music blending into a cacophony of reminders of what they’d lost. Chris straightened their tie, fixing a mask of confidence onto their face.

Let them believe everything was fine. Let them think Chris Clarke still had it all.

But no matter how much they drank, no matter how many smiles they faked, no matter how many nights Jade clung to them in bed, whispering promises against their skin—promises that this fucked-up relationship was worth it, that it would all be worth it—none of it could fill the void.

When the kisses faded, when the night grew still, and the weight of it all settled in, that emptiness wouldn’t go away.

The void left behind, that emptiness—it looked too much like you.

[resident-idiot-simp]

Passing of the torch

(x)

Getting blown up wasn't fun Laura would just like to state that for the record. -1000/10 would not recommend and all that. She didn't know who all got caught in the explosion with her but she knows at least they'll be ok.

She groans as she sits up and blinks away the black and looks around a field....what? She knew full and well she was in a warehouse with her dads. Beside her she heard a groan and she quickly turns and sees Logan. She quickly goes to him, "Papá hey." She calls as he blinks up at her.

"Wht's goin on kit?" He slurred out as he tries to sit up. "Not sure exactly." She says as she watches him worriedly. He eventually sits up with her help and looks around before sighing.

"It's limbo." He grumbles and Laura looked at him confused, "What?" She asks. He starts to stand as he answers.

"Limbo kit the place between life and death. Have you not been here before?" He asked confused. Laura shook her head while staying close to Logan. He looks down at her in amusement, "Kit this place is safe no need to worry." He reassures.

She relaxes finally and just looks around, "We're here because we got blown up? " She asked and Logan nodded, "Yep that's why I'm surprised you've never seen it. This is where we end up while we heal from extremely grievous wounds. Though I suppose I'm glad you've never been here."

Laura chuckles at that, "I've never gotten this hurt before, but do you have any idea how long we'll be here?" She asked and he shrugs. "None, don't know how bad it was could be a few minutes could be hours, but by how shit I feel I'm thinking it's going to be a while."

Laura does feel like she was ran over by a bus so he might be onto something. Logan pauses in his movements as he looks into the distance. Laura confused looks at what got his attention only to freeze as well.

It's another Logan undeniably but that's not what freezes her to the spot. No what does that is the scent she picks up now that's she's focusing. It's something she hasn't smelled in so so long.

Her daddy

She feels tears immediately well in her eyes as she sprints to him. He looked almost identical to the first time she saw him only this time he looks healthier. Still the same scars and grey hair but not like he was slowly dying. It just makes her cry harder.

She flings herself at him clinging like he might fade away. He clings right back shaking as he cries silently. She's sobbing now she can't help it she missed him so much and it seems mutual. "Daddy daddy daddy." She cries into this chest scrabling at his back to pull herself impossibly closer.

"Laura." He breathes as he buries his face in her hair. She doesn't know how long she's been clinging to him before she pulls back and looks up into familiar dull eyes. Both of them are a mess theirs no doubt about it but she couldn't care less.

"I've missed you so much." She tells him voice barely recognizable from the sobbing. He smiles down at her softly and runs scared fingers through her hair to push it out of her face. "I've missed you a lot too darling." He sounds so found it hurts.

She hears her Papá shuffling awkwardly a few feet away and she sighs. She turns and catches his eye and smiles reassuringly at him. She knows he is unsure of his place in her life even after she made it clear to him he isn't a replacement but his own people in her life. This definitely doesn't help his opinions on the matter.

She pulls back slightly to more easily look at her dad before speaking, "My only wish was to let you know your sacrifice wasn't in vain. Looks like I finally got my chance." She tells him tears still flowing. Her dad chokes back a sob at that. "I'm so glad your ok." He tells her earnestly.

She just smiles, "I might not have been if it wasn't for him." She tells him as she guestues to a startled looking Logan. Her dad just looks at him appraisingly. "Thank you." He tells Logan seriously. Logan just frowns at him, "I did what anyone would do." He dismisses.

Laura snorts at that and her dad just raises an eyebrow at his counterpart. "Really because we both know that's not true." He shot back and her Papá sighs. "It's our kit what else am I supposed to do?" He asked and her dad smiles at that.

"Ain't that the damn truth." Her dad huffs as he squeezes her to him for a moment. He then takes another breath before speaking once more his tone more serious. "I did what could for her it wasn't enough, but it was what I could. I didn't want to at first but I did because she doesn't deserve our fate." Her Papá looks at her and nods his head in agreement.

"She's one of the few good things that have come from us and I did my part. Now she's your responsibility to protect and love. I have faith she's in good hands." Her father tells Logan who looks unsure.

"I'm the worst Wolverine didn't you hear? She deserves better than me hell better then all of us." He Papá argues and her dad just scoffs. "Yeah well she's don't got better she's got us. Besides if you were really that bad she wouldn't love you like she obviously does."

Logan has nothing to say to that for a few moments, "I can't be you." He whispers and the other man growls. "Your not going to be me. We both weren't as good as we could have been, but you can do better with her then I ever did. This is your kid as much as she's mine don't ruin that by wallowing in the what ifs."

Logan just sighed, "I promise I'll do everything in my power to keep her safe." Her dad just nods. "You'll wake up soon." He tells them and Laura starts crying again. "Will I ever see you again daddy?" She asks and he just pulls her closer. "I don't know darling." He whispers into her hair before placing a kiss on her head and pulling away.

Logan puts a hand on her shoulder to keep her grounded. "We'll take care of her." Logan says confidently and her dad smirks seemingly pleased his counterpart took his request to heart. He paused a moment later however, "Wait who's we?" He asked skeptically and Logan just shrugged.

"Wade." He answered which just called her dad to furrowed his eyes. "Wilson." Her Papá tacked on.

"WAIT DEADPOOL?!" Her dad shouted incredulously before suddenly everything went black once more.

Laura choked awake on a laugh as she woke up abruptly. Logan too had awoke similarly both coughing and choking as they came back to consciousness. Besides them their was a sigh of relief.

"Oh thank fuck you both had me worried sick!" Wade shouted as he hurried over to their sides. "You guys aren't allowed to die without me that fucking sucked." He told them seriously and Laura just smiled.

[an-unknowntraveler]

Cheering up

LEE Telemachus, Ler Penelope and Odysseus. very slight lee Odysseus.

Pls don’t ask how I finished this so fast.

Twenty whole years... twenty whole years had passed since Odysseus was gone, then... he returned. He killed all of the suitors, to protect his son, Telemachus, and his wife, Penelope.

Telemachus loved his father, but was struggling to get adjusted to having his father around, considering his father made... some rather... terrible dad jokes. Penelope feared Telemachus would dislike his father, despite it being the opposite.

And it was a year... after the return of Odysseus of Ithaca. Telemachus was training with Athena, but he kept getting distracted. "Is something wrong??" Telemachus heard a voice say, then he looked up. oh. it was just Athena. Telemachus didn't know what to say, or do really. He just sighed, and sat down on the ground, while Athena looked down at him with curiosity.

"Telemachus??" She called out again. And there it was.. no reply. she was slightly concerned, she was suddenly snapped out of her thoughts though, when Telemachus suddenly spoke up. She looked at him again, as he said the words of... "Athena, I don't know why. I love my father dearly — yet I can't seem to get adjusted to having him around. Despite him being gone for so long, and me constantly missing him." He looked ashamed of himself, and looked away from her, in fear of what she'd think.

"Oh... Telemachus... don't worry about it, please." her much stoic tone during training vanished softening a lot, as she kneeled down next to him.

"It's okay to feel that way Telemachus, it's confusing sometimes. your feelings are valid, no matter what. it's okay to be confused. or scared." She spoke, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"you,me, Penelope, and Odysseus, know deep in your heart. You love your father. You might not be adjusted to having him around right away, but that doesn't mean you don't love him, because you do love him. That's what matters most."

Telemachus started crying, babbling about something. “Athena!! But- but— I don’t want to feel this way! It’s not making me feel better!” Athena didn’t know what to do, so she disappeared. Just like that. Telemachus cried more when she left, he felt alone. He kept thinking… why did she leave?? did she hate him? Is she ashamed of him?? She might be…

Penelope was walking through the palace, and found her son, Telemachus sobbing. she immediately went over to him. “Telemachus? My son?? Are you alright??? What happened?? Where’s Athena…?? Did you get hurt?!?” she suddenly panicked, worried he was hurt, and that Athena left him.

“What— no!!—“ Telemachus sniffled, he spluttered when he spoke. “I’m not hurt— I’m fine.. it’s just..” Penelope stopped panicking much. But was curious, and raised an eyebrow. “Just what, Telemachus…? Talk to me…” she looked at him, sad.

“How do I say this… mother…??? I… I’m not adjusted to having father around— I love him dearly— but I’m having trouble getting used to the annoying dad jokes, when I’m trying to acutally talk to him, I’m tired of the jokes!! I just want to be able to talk without joking, and humor..” Penelope’s gaze turned stern slightly.

“Telemachus.. your father is trying his best to get to know you better! He’s trying to have fun with you.. you need to be nicer!” She raised her voice slightly. Telemachus was shocked, on hearing her close to yelling at him. He felt hurt.

“I just spoke my feelings to you?! And that’s all you’re going to say??…” he sniffed. he stood up, and ran off, to his bedroom. Penelope’s slight anger turned into guilt. She didn’t want to hurt Telemachus, but she didn’t understand why he’s feeling this way. she sighed, and walked away. she went to hers and Odysseus’ room.

Odysseus was sitting on the bed. “Penelope!! hello—!!” Odysseus spoke akwardly, though he was happy to see his beautiful AAAMMMAAAZZZIIINNGG wifeee! but he was confused to see her looking… slightly guilty??… what had happened?? Odysseus became concerned. “Nel….?” When Penelope sat on the bed next to him, she looked down. He scooted closer to her, and held her hand tightly, slightly rubbing her hand with his thumb gently.

“I feel like I hurt Telemachus.” She suddenly spoke, and looked at her husband, who was confused, again. “Whaa….??” Penelope groaned.. “I said… I. hurt. Telemachus. Accidentally.” she poked him in the side each time, he scooted away from her when she poked him, slightly embarrassed. but then it faded.

“How’d you hurt him??” Penelope was scared to tell him, incase Odysseus got mad at her for it. “I… raised my voice at him.” Odysseus had never felt so stunned in his life?? his wife, the sweetest woman in the entire world. RAISED HER VOICE… “WHAT..??” He said a bit louder then he wanted.

“But you have to understand, he said your jokes are annoying, and that you won’t take him seriously. I told him you’re trying your best and yeah.”

“Oh.” Odysseus said.. “well.. where’d he he go. maybe we can cheer him up, huh..?” Penelope slowly looked up at him, and smiled. “Ohh.. yeah… you’re right. did you know, Telemachus is ticklish?? He’s as ticklish as you are!” “Oh- hey!” Her husband huffed. and stood up.

“well let’s go find him, Hon.” He walked out of the room, she followed. they walked around the palace, and eventually found him sitting in his room by himself. “Hey, kiddo.” Odysseus sat next to Telemachus on the bed, and Penelope sat on the other side of Telemachus. “We’ve been talking.” She finally spoke.

“About what.” Telemachus said, coldly. Odysseus raised an eyebrow. “are you giving us attitude??” Telemachus scoffed, rolling his eyes. “What if I am??” “Don’t be annoying.” Odysseus scolded softly. “We were here to come cheer you up!” Odysseus then said, happily.

Telemachus furrowed his brows in slight confusion, and annoyance. “and how are you going to do that?? I’m not a child anymore.” Telemachus kept up his annoyed front, till Penelope spoke, and Telemachus became nervous. “I told your father, you’re ticklish.”

Telemachus’ eyes widened with horror. “You told him… WHAT??” he panicked. Odysseus and Penelope smiled at him innocently, till Odysseus spoke. “First, you need to hug us. Cause you love uss… sooo muccchh!!” Odysseus was teasing him. And hugged Telemachus, and so did Penelope.

Telemachus hugged them back, till he stifled his laughter, as he felt one of them start tickling his sides. “Nohoho…. Stooppp…!!-“ then the second set of hands tickling him, he started giggling, and couldn’t help it. he figured out who was who eventually. his father tickled his stomach, while his mother tickled his sides, Telemachus giggled, and giggled, his laughter was slightly squeaky.

Telemachus snorted when his father tickled his underarms instead, and he kicked his feet slightly, and pushed against his father and mother a tiny bit. “Well that was a silly sound, wasn’t it??” Odysseus teased. Telemachus squeaked at that, and he blushed slightly out of embarrassment. He felt like he was dying.(from the teasing. Not the tickling.) “Hahaha— you guys! Stop it— I cahahant take ihihit!!” His laughter was joyful and infectious, and Penelope laughed softly.

Telemachus giggled more and more, his parents eventually stopped. Telemachus still giggled softly after that. And caught his breath, while his freckled face was still slightly flushed. “We didn’t bother you that much, did we??” His father asked, looking at Telemachus. And acutally hugged him. “No.. I’m fine… thank you.” Telemachus finally said. He hugged both of his parents. he snuggled against both of them softly. He was feeling slightly sleepy. and eventually fell asleep. his mother brushed the hair out of his face gently. and kissed his forehead. “Goodnight my son…” she said, and smiled. in Telemachus’ dreams. He was thinking of getting revenge. but he couldn’t tickle his dear mother. So he’d just have to tickle his father instead. hint hint…

[pocket-vvardvark]

WIP Wednesday

Ty for the tag @skyrim-forever @thequeenofthewinter <33

I'd like to tag: @aviel-the-trans-bucket @hircines-hunter @fangsandsoftgrass @kiir-do-faal-rahhe @scholarlyhermit @sanza-17 @sulphuricgrin @changelingsandothernonsense @progmetol @varlaisvea @yansurnummu @yewphoric @lucius-the-sinful no pressure as always!! ♥️♥️♥️🥰 Love ya'll with my whole heart

I've got a new chapter in the works for sweet decay 🤪 so, here's the WIP under the cut bc it's sorta long

Rivenspire is cloaked in the warmth of the sunrise. Blooming across dry earth, it softens the land’s foreboding appearance into something habitable. Having been awake for far too long, Verandis palms his sunken eyes as the soft glow filters in through open windows behind him. At the very least, the weather was somewhat pleasant in favor of the most recent heatwave. His body is no longer among the living, but the heat still drove him onto the edge of exhaustion just as easily as it would to a human. Voyage to Lillandril would be a pleasant escape to the lingering heat, and a part of him missed Summerset. Among the cities in Summerset, he supposed Lillandril was the fairest. Cradled upon the sea, the wind which swept only the most beautiful flowers was tinted with a satisfying chill against the heat. His thoughts shift to Angelica; briefly imagining her time on the island. Yesterday, she mentioned her distaste for Altmer culture, which was fair in its own right. No matter how hard a half-breed attempted to live up to their purpose, no full-blooded Altmer would label them anything but an Ephem. As saddening as it was, this was the way of his people. Thumbing over a groove on the hardwood of his desk, Verandis mulls over his relationship with the pesky minx. It was growing, that's unfortunately true, but to what extent? It had been an incredibly long time since he called another his lover, and oddly enough, Angelica didn't seem the type. She seemed content to toy with him, refusing to acknowledge him as anything other than good fun. Although, her gentleness from the other day did start to confuse him. The whole situation vexed him; feeling like a bumbling idiot left in the dark of some grand plan. Years of building House Ravenwatch softened him, and maybe that was why he was far too slow on the uptake. Regardless, the job needed to be completed, and he supposed he should use her…talents she so dramatically bragged about. The sun rises above the trees, signaling it was time to move. Verandis does so, gathering the bare essentials and finally roaming the halls until he reaches Angelica’s room. Raising a hand to knock, his knuckles fail to reach the door as it's opened before he can. 

She smiles. It's surprisingly bright for how strangely she acted the other day. Another facade? He'll see in time, Verandis assumes. 

“So…it's time?” Casting red hair aside, she tugs it into a messy bun of locks, then pats her leathers down. Ah, another surprise; that she's actually wearing proper clothes this time.

Prepared to suffer by her hand from whatever acts of mischief she'll no doubt drum up, Verandis answers with the utmost exasperation, “Yes. Bring along what you need.” Squinting, he watches as she disappears back into her room to procure a satchel.

“I do hope that's necessary.” 

Laughing as she peeks into the standing mirror, she makes one final adjustment to push her breasts up. “Oh, hush. We're taking a trip to the market, right? I'll need gold for that…among other things.”

‘Among other things’, that little remark did not inspire much of anything in him but annoyance. She hoists her arm into his, linking together as she bats her lashes. “I’ve been waiting for a chance like this; to come along on some grand adventure with the Count of House Ravenwatch. My sister told me all about you, you know.” 

He's pulled along with her, walking a stride slower due to their height differences. It would seem her younger sister had a bit of a loose tongue. Thinking about Alethia softens his expression, though, he knows there was no ill intent behind her excited story-telling. She couldn't keep a secret, that much he knew.

“Did she, now? I can only pray she had good things to tell.” They pass the doors, already walking down the rough, cracked path to shornhelm. 

Making a sound rivaling that of a disgruntled guar, he’s bewildered enough to glance down at her. She sticks her tongue out once he does, “That's what I think about your stupid attempts at being posh. Or…maybe you're shy. Are you shy, count?”

She snorts, tugging at their linked arms with an impish grin. 

“You-” Verandis scoffs, but he makes no move to wriggle away, only yielding to her kisses placed on his cheek. “I'm not shy. You're just…too overzealous for me. Not even Gwendis is this tiring, I should have you know.” 

Gasping dramatically, she feigns a sniffle, “Breaking my heart so soon? How could you…I thought we shared something special.” 

“Special? Hm, I had the distinct feeling I was but only a tryst to you, Angelica.” Their footsteps halt on the barren path of dirt as Verandis stops. He grazes a knuckle over her cheek, relishing in her sudden speechlessness. There's a hint of intrigue in her eyes, but something much less distinct; embarrassment. 

“Tsk, tsk…” the pad of his thumb strokes the tip of her cheek bone, “Projecting, are we?” 

Life spreads back into her features, moving her lips as her expression excites, “Projecting? No way, now you've got to buy me something like you promised.” 

Nothing gets past her, he's sure of that as she reminds him of what foolish words he uttered last night. It almost worked, if she hadn't been so perceptive. No matter, it would prove useful in the next days they’d spend together 

“A shame you hadn't kept your promise, then.” She blinks, fascinated by the ethereal hue his carmine eyes take against the bright sunshine. It steals her breath away, causing the briefest stirring deep in her belly. Truthfully, she was beginning to fluster at the sight of him like this; gazing down at her with such a romantic expression, like he could dip her back any second for a kiss. There was no love lost between any number of her trysts and herself, as the fickle emotion only served to complicate things. It stood in the back of her mind, though, as if it tempted her into taking that step. Oddly numb, she couldn't make sense whether she even wanted love. Sure, she'd never stayed quite this long with any of her romps, but it felt strange to just up and leave like they never met. Perhaps it was as her mother said, that one day she would want to settle down, to be with the one man who stole her heart. A flush does make its way to her cheeks, so light a dusting that Verandis nearly mistakes it for the sun on her skin. She takes her own embarrassing reaction in stride, smiling to him so lovingly that they both falter in each other’s grasp. Unlike the night they shared, it is him who concedes first, his grasp brushing away so softly she misses it. Clearing his throat, they continue down the path until Shornhelm can be peered at in the distance. The blob grows until she can see the roofs, the people, and of course, the market. Angelica observes the sights, its fairly different from both of her homelands from what she can recall from both Summerset and Western Skyrim. Hard times have clearly claimed most of Rivenspire’s goods and, frankly, the morale, too. Most shopowners looked more like they were proud owners of shacks rather than appealing homes; it went double for their wares, unfortunately. The only exciting things left were the rare pieces of jewelry she spotted along the way, and the occasional sneak she took of the count’s face while he was deep in thought. A local apothecary catches her attention, drawing her closer until several ingredients greet her eyes. The woman looks only to be a few years younger than herself, smiling but ragged after whatever turned shornhelm into turmoil. Hopefully, after her sister’s little adventure here, things would get better. Nevertheless, Angelica wasn’t entirely heartless, so she took what little ingredients were left and paid a little extra. She winks, and tugs the count along before the young woman can argue against the generous amount of coins splayed across the worn market stall.

“Well…I believe that’s all I’ll be in need of. Never hurts to pack a few poisons.”

If he noticed what happened, which she realizes he must, it doesn’t earn her a conversation. Either perturbed by her shocking display of kindness, or their recently shared embarrassment, Angelica cannot tell beneath his seemingly aloof gaze. 

“We should get a move on, then. Rivenspire lacks ferries, so we’ll have to carriage our way to Glenumbra.” She wants to kick herself for feeling disappointed he doesn’t thrust his arm out for her to hold, but makes due with this new development. It’s not like they were close, but she was finding herself longing for some type of…praise from doing good. Divines, did whatever happened last night really affect her that badly? She hadn’t thought so, until her thoughts soured from every woman which passed their way to ogle Verandis’ human disguise. A part of herself swelled in pride when they sunk back down upon her appearance by his side. That feeling was only doubled when she realized they would never know his secret, and such an intimate secret it was. Jealousy wasn’t her style, but she wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to swathe the Count in her perfume before exiting the castle next time. He certainly smelled better in it than whatever ancient perfume he wore beside her. Curious, she peeks over to marvel at his disguise. Honestly, she preferred how he always looked; with eyes as red as rubies and alabaster skin. It simultaneously enthralled and got her feeling rather heated. Such raw and dangerous intent was no longer evident in his now honey-colored eyes, and that left her feeling quite bored. Although…she could make due with those amber eyes if they watched her with the utmost adoration; that would be her goal for the day.

Grinning, she’s back to her confident self, looking as mischievous as a nixad. He realizes she snickers like one, too.

“Do I dare ask what you’re conjuring up behind me? I fear you, at times.”

Prancing back to his side, her fingers curl into his own, forcing him to slow his stride once more.

“Nothing much, just admiring the view.”

He snorts, “Of my backside? How quaint.”

Nudging him, he gains an eyeful of the sweet little twist of her lips, “It's a very disarming backside.” 

Sighing, he can't help but chuckle at that, “Whatever shall I do with you?”

His eyes jump between her own, searching for the reply her lips twitch with. Angelica settles for a gentle peck on his nose, laughing when he wrinkles it from the tickle. 

“I'm sure you'll dream up some elaborate plan to keep me quiet, darling.” 

[euelios]

FOLLOWING UP ON THE GOD’S EYE VIEW:

some of my favourite shots are straight-on portraits of people—sister agnes listening in on the homily, various cardinals playing candy crush minding their business. the eyes are everywhere, but the gaze is too broad, too kind, to be properly voyeuristic. it isn’t trying to uncover anything, even when lawrence is, just watching him as he does. it doesn’t Need to Know anything because it already has what counts.

which is kind of why so much of the actual text in the film is blurred out or redacted entirely. we never find out the specifics with sister shanumi, or whose votes were bought for how much. it’s kind of a nod to the fact that the curia don’t need to know the facts to destroy careers, kind of a nod to the seal of confession—but ultimately the Cold Hard Facts are just not… that important? they only matter insofar as lawrence has to use them to set things right, but outside of that, the telling itself matters more than what is told.

(“would you like me to hear your confession?” unburdening is not punished. you are met where you are. but the willful silence? the knowing wrongs? that’s a different matter.)

also super fun in the context of the busted window?? the heavenly eye, the ray of light, literally being struck down before you do something unworthy. despite what lawrence tries to insist, and what the whole sequestering thing tries to prevent, the will of god never just happens. it’s expressed in mortal men, etc etc, so long as the method is honest, and so on. lawrence is there to curb the other cardinals, and his methods get a pass so long as he believes wholeheartedly in doing what’s right. but the second he falters for real, all of them are forced to realize that there have been eyes on them all along.

thinking about how so many shots in conclave are taken like god is watching. far far up. really really close. conversations heard in alcoves from around the corner

[mysteriousdragon2]

Birthday gift for @schadenfredde

It's the man's birthday today, so I drew some of his favorite characters! Been a while since I drew N'Doul especially, and I KNOW that he adores N'Doul which this opportunity had to be done! Hol Horse has the gift, Jotaro holding a butterschotch cake, and Keicho making it flashy with Bad Company's helicopter. N'Doul with the little birthday hat is actually adorable not gonna lie HEHE. This was so much fun to make, to please do enjoy this gift! Happy birthday, my friend! ;p

[itsalwaysdark]

i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[cuteniaarts]

What if… Suiren in Vaatu’s colours 😳👀

[gibbearish]

btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest

[starbuck]

the fact that i don’t have time to fall in love right now is literally SO unfair.

[dexaroth]

ive already said this before about how ive felt so disconnected from art. its all just lines and poses and specific distances away from the camera, layers of color... something triggered a switch in my brain that is making things just not feel real anymore.

and its like. ok. whatever. its still fun to draw and i get very happy when i manage to draw something good. but i lack the motivation! so.. lemme think.. ah! my characters! perhaps i should try to actually flesh them out as real people, with a past and personalities and relationships..

and the more i read about it the more disconnected i feel. is that all life is about? traits and backstories and being bound to everything that happened to you.. the ways you think and act being somewhat easily traceable to your history..character arcs. stories just being a means to an end(?)

and i also want a world for my ocs to live in that is a bit believable and justifies them, but every bit of advice and apparently common worldbuilding things have all just been done before.

is there any chance of making something that matters when its all been done before or if everything else feels unreal and abstract. is there a point to anything

[iniziare]

Tag drop: Kafka

[luvyeni]

🪽… ( reaction ) have you ever tried this one ? ̨ ! ୨୧ 一 스트레이키즈 ՞

⸃ ⸰ ⌁ straykids favorite positions to fuck you in  ヾ

boyfriend!스트레이키즈・ fem!reader ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ g ・ smut ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ cw ・ unprotected sex, oral sex ( F ), dirty talk, nsfw links. wc ・‎ ‎1.2k ‎| ‎ ‎click to library

「 ୨୧ authors note 」 tried something new today and added links no i cant make longer drabbles for any of these …

﹙ 𐙚 : bangchan ﹚ .ᐟ

wants you to feel all of him; he wants to be as deep as he can possibly be, that’s why nine times out of ten chan will have you folded in a mating press, stretching you out with his big cock. “fuck!” you screamed as the man above you fucked into you , holding your legs up to your chest. “deeper please.” no matter how deep he is , you want more — you want him to breed you. “fuck baby im already in your guts, how deep do you want me.” he grunted, feeling his cock twitch inside you. “want me to breed this pretty pussy.” you scream out, answering his question. “fuck yes!” moaning out feeling your cunt tightening around him. “sh-shit , that’s what you want? for me to fill this pretty pussy?” you moaned. “fu-fuck yes chan.” you moaned out. “fuck im gonna cum.” he hissed.

“gonna cum inside this pretty pussy.”

﹙ 𐙚 : lee know ﹚ .ᐟ

we all know lee know is an ass man, he’s revealed this on numerous occasions. when he fucks you, he wants you ass up so he can watch your ass recoil against him. “that’s it.” cursing , holding your hip with one hand , rutting into you. “shit keep moving that ass.” he was hypnotized by the way your ass moved. “fuck minho!” you screamed into the pillow. “fuck don’t stop.” he didn’t either , the grip on your waist tightening as he moved his hips faster. “fuck I’m gonna cum.” he breathed out. “gonna fucking cum.” he groaned , pulled out stroking his cock. “fuck im cumming!” he howled as he came all over your ass. “shit baby.” he slapped your ass, you helped out

“god i fucking love your ass so much.” 

﹙ 𐙚 : changbin ﹚ .ᐟ

changbin loves to show off his strength; he doesn’t spend his days in the gym just for fun. showing you how manly he his, lifting you up and fucking you in the air. your arms wrapped tightly around his neck, his hand firmly grasping your ass holding you up as he pounded into you. “oh my god changbin!” your legs dangling on the side. “fuck me!” he held you up like you were nothing. “so-so strong.” he smirked. “yo-you like that?” he stuttered out, his voice deep. “shit , you like how i can lift you up and fuck you on my fat cock. nodding dumbly, babbling nonsense. “y-yes.” he cursed , bouncing you on his cock. “pl-please be careful.” you stuttered. “do-don’t worry baby im not gonna drop you.”

“gaining these muscle just so i can fuck you like this.” 

﹙ 𐙚 : hyunjin ﹚ .ᐟ

hyunjin fucking loves morning sex , rolling over on his side , spooning you pulling your clothes down, his cock hard as a rock as slid inside you, sighing in relief. “so-so warm baby.” his sexy morning voice in your ear as his hand came up u onto your boobs , feeling up your body , squeezing your boobs. “fe-feel so nice baby.” he rutted into you. “so fucking nice , i love you so much.” his hands in between your legs, rub your clit — the sun was bleeding into the room. “hy-hyune im gonna cum.” you moaned out , he opened your legs , rutting into you harder. “cum for me princess.” letting you cum, him following right after. “sh-shit baby.” he let your legs go , kissing your neck tenderly

“good morning princess , you felt so good.” 

﹙ 𐙚 : han jisung ﹚ .ᐟ

just put him in between your legs and let him do his thing, han jisung certified munch ! he doesn’t care whether he’s on top or if you’re on top. as long as he can taste your sweet cunt and feel your soft tittes in his hands , he is in heaven. “shit baby keep doing that.” you moaned, hands tangled in his hair , pushing him deeper into your mound. “fuck more.” hips moving against your will, he was that good , lapping at your cunt. “fuck im gonna cum.” he hummed as you came on his tongue, coating his tongue. “fuck you taste so good.” he pulled away. “like candy.” he bought his fingers to his mouth, bringing them back to your slit. “wanna make you cum again.” he rubbed your bud.

“wanna make a mess of you.” 

﹙ 𐙚 : felix ﹚ .ᐟ

ride him in his gaming chair and his life is yours. he loves this shit — you “ innocently “ sitting in his lap , which ends up with you both naked , his game long forgotten as you milked him for everything he had. “sh-shit.” he held your lower back letting you do what you wanted before he pulled you flush against him , pressing down on your lower stomach. “lixie.” he squeezed your boobs. “lo-love you feel so good wrapped around me.” he moaned. “so fucking warm.” he kissed your boobs , bucking his hips up. “lix I’m gonna cum.” you whined , he rubbed your clit. “cum for me.” he whispered into your ear. “cum for me like a good girl.” releasing all over him.

the game was long forgotten after that , he was ready to make you cum all over again.

﹙ 𐙚 : seungmin ﹚ .ᐟ

you’re always on top, but he’s always in charge. his legs flat against the bed fucking up into you , his hands yanking your back , making you scream. “sl-slut.” he growled. “letting me fuck you like this , you’re so nasty.” his thrust were brutal , your ass bright red from his previous slapping. “you like being fuck like a whore?” he asked , knowing you can’t ask. “whose whore are you.” he yanked your hair. “i asked you a question , whose whore are you?” you were a mess , trying to get the words out. “yours -fuck!- im your whore minnie.” you let out a pornographic moan. “fuck I’m gonna cum.” he let your cum , holing you down as he emptied his load inside of you , holding you close to whisper in your ear.

“that’s right , you’re my whore.” 

﹙ 𐙚 : jeongin ﹚ .ᐟ

your body pressed flatly against the bed, arms pinned behind your back , jeongin kissing the sweet spot on your neck as , the kisses sweet and soft — a completely different from how deep he was inside you. “i-innie.” you babbled , he let your arms go , his hand wrapping around your neck, choking you lightly. “yo-you feel that -fuck- that’s my cock deep inside your pussy.” he grunted in your ear. “so-so deep.” he kissed your cheek. “i know baby , i know.” he moaned. “going dumb on my cock aren’t you.” your eyes rolling to the back of your head, his strokes were slow but deep. “just take it , that’s all you can do.” his hand tightening around your throat. “you can’t take it.”

“take it like a good fu-fucking girl.”

©️LUVYENI