#as in its always good to be fallible? and i think (WHEN you know how to do it) you're a better teacher on things you struggled at yourself

[dontwanderoff]

have spent a nice 40 minutes or so reteaching myself algebra and practicing so i don't embarrass myself in front of the children again tomorrow

[edwardsissyhandsthtdanceslikeabb]

why exactly is geto such a good character?

(not compared to naoya but using naoya as an example lol. i have no opinion on naoya other than that hes apparently a misogynist but some ppl like him for some reason idk.)

geto is arguably jjk's best written character —which isnt an indictment of naoya but an anime only's premature opinion lol— and a testament to jjk's initial narrative strength. reducing geto's motives down to toji massively undermines the layers that catalyzed his breakdown, which ultimately, was loss and disempowerment leading him to break. it was him being unable to reconcile his moralistic outlook with the mechanistic nature of jujutsu society and the utter dehumanization it demanded of its sorcerers, it was his disdain for the self-sustaining nature of human vice and negativity and its perpetuation of their system of futile sacrifice and loss.

this disdain stems from the bleak reality of being surrounded by its grimiest depths, by the thanklessness of choosing platitudes and lofty ideals for those who spit in your face for it, who exploit you, objectify you. which is why amanai dying is what truly began his undoing, the personification of everything he believed to be worth fighting for snuffed unthinkingly by those he's told are too feeble to know better. its the malignance of pure ppl like haibara dying while evil endures, of the godless nature of being a sorcerer, and how its ungoverned and unphased by any morality or goodness or purity. and why it ended with him discovering the girls in the cage, the most innocent of society, who couldn't have possibly deserved it, who were persecuted for their nature, the actual people endangered for it. its him flipping the ontological framework jujutsu society operates on, questioning why they have to pay for humanity's vices and fallibility, why they cant fight back too, prioritize their own pitfalls, and thusly him giving gravitas to humanity's evil underbelly. while also recognizing the strength and brilliance of sorcerers and choosing to be selfish with this excellence, self-serving instead of self flagellatory, not leaving them to be fed to the beast of human weakness but instead unabashed in their talents and strength. bc at every turn he's told to temper himself, to fight for goodness, but is only ever met with cruelty, haunted by sorcerers' disenfranchisement looming over him.

contradictory to his newfound ideals, geto chooses family and love by vowing to sacrifice humanity instead, he reframes gojo and all those relegated cogs in the jujutsu machine to the ppl really worth fighting for, as precious enough to matter, to be sacrificed for. its why he forms a pseudo family while pursuing his plans, and why he embodies such a performative personality thereafter, bc ideals consume geto. he has to expunge himself of humanity and embody hatred bc that's whats contrary to his former ideals and disposition. that's what he thinks he has to be. but when the heart of his wants shine through, when he allows himself grace around those close to his heart, we see the core of who he is and always has been shine through (e.g at his death scene). geto sees vulnerability and sympathy as inherent to humanity and the things indenturing sorcerers to them, despite his fight for sorcerers being grounded in fighting for the weak, but he doesn't want to give into that human aspect to his motivations. he wants to determine his own future, beholden to no one. (e.g the reason he fights against kenjaku, and is given strength by gojo's words)

now naoya very well may be a better character and commentary on jujutsu society than geto, but using his attire as reason for it isnt exactly equivocal to the aforementioned layers i've outlined. geto's brilliance is in how aptly they condensed all these angles relative to his screen time. now that doesnt mean he's beyond critique: his characterization post-defection is a bit too caricatured for me, and amanai wasnt utilized to the extent that she could've been to complicate his motivations and expand/clarify his thoughts on humanity, plus his plan to exterminate humanity is just as futile as his former sorcerer work, but thats the point. that ideals are fallible and often arbitrary, and that being governed by them can be detrimental and self-destructive. geto wanted to protect those he cared abt above everything, and conjured smth just as grand and insurmountable as the jujutsu system to rival it without taking into account how that obfuscated things, that ultimately, ideals weren't ever what was important, but actually those around him. bc in actuality, what he's doing doesnt center them, it centers him. he who literally tasted the rot and gore of humanity, took it into his body and used it as a weapon for their service, until that poison metastasized and he vowed to amputate his brokenness, without realizing that he'd just opted for another poison instead. he's a tragic character.

having said that, you dont have to care abt him. but he's defintely not badly written lol.

[fictionadventurer]

I don't know why this feels like such a revelation, but after watching the latest Moffat episode of Doctor Who, it clicked for me that the core difference between RTD and Moffat Who is that to RTD, the Doctor is God (or a metaphorical substitute for God), while Moffat's Doctor is a man in need of God.

Like, it's obvious RTD deifies the Doctor. The imagery is not subtle. And Moffat's Doctor is obviously a much more fallible man. But I hadn't fully considered how this affects the kinds of stories they tell.

In RTD's Who, the Doctor is someone who comes into a mundane human existence and gives it meaning. An encounter with the Doctor changes your life forever. You would follow him to the end of the universe if he asked, because life with him is infinitely better than life without him. Humans who try to reach the Doctor's level are struck down, because mere mortals cannot rise to the level of godhood. From a Christian perspective, this offers valid storytelling possibilities ("Human Nature/The Family of Blood", with its musings upon the Incarnation, fits perfectly in this era), but it does have the Doctor standing in the place of God, which suggests that the universe of RTD's worldview doesn't have one and needs the Doctor to fill that gap.

In Moffat's Who, on the other hand, the Doctor is a wondrous, impossible, legendary being--but still just a man. He can guide you through some of the best or most terrifying moments of your life--but your life has meaning outside of him. His companions learn over and over again the perils of relying on him too completely. Ordinary people can be just as good--or better--than him, because the Doctor is just another man, growing and changing and trying to find his place in the universe.

Moffat's Doctor is extremely aware that he's in a story--and he is not the author. In "The Doctor Dances" he is aware of how death-filled his stories usually are, and is ecstatically grateful when he is permitted a story where everybody lives. In "Blink", he and Sally are both following a script--but neither one of them wrote it; though they have free will, this story came from outside of them. Of course, these are examples of Moffat's meta exploration of storytelling--but the fact remains that his Doctor exists in a world where there is a greater force that runs everything.

And the Doctor resists this. He remains skeptical, arrogant, independent--but he is always searching for something more.

All this crystallized when watching "Boom". There, the Doctor is facing soldiers in a religious war, and he sneers that they didn't notice anything fishy because they "had faith, which keeps you from ever having to think for yourself." Those are the brutal words of every hackneyed internet atheist, and since the soldiers were wrong to have faith in this war, it seems like the story's saying the Doctor's right, and religion's just the "opiate of the masses".

And yet.

The episode ends with the Doctor telling a little girl to hold onto faith, and when the religious character points out that the Doctor was stridently against faith, the Doctor replies, "Just because I don't like it doesn't mean I don't need it."

Isn't that the Christian experience in a nutshell? How many of us are tempted to think that life would be so much easier if we didn't follow God? And yet we can't leave it aside because we need God. We need meaning outside ourselves, and life with God is better than life without him.

But this isn't the Whedon-ish universe where it doesn't matter if it's true so long as believing does something good for you. There is objective truth, and the Doctor is aware of it. He is aware that love is the most powerful force in the universe. (God is love). He is aware that everyone and everything dies, yet knows that something lingers on. (God is stronger than death). The Doctor is in a world where God exists, and even if he (or his writer) doesn't know it, he needs him, is searching for him, and to some extent, believes in him, because he can't deny these truths that he's seen. And I cannot get over how many different ways Moffat has been exploring these themes all these years.

[pbjelly90]

I should absolutely be going to bed now for work tomorrow, but I finished vol 8 of Jeweler Richard tonight and just wanted to put down some thoughts and feelings I had on it, even if they’re not all particularly coherent or in any real order. May add more later on.

SPOILERS FOR VOLUME 8 OF JEWELER RICHARD AHEAD

A lot of folks found vol 7 a bit hard to read, and this one still had some heavy themes, with the treatment Seigi faces from the house flippers, the hurt and misunderstanding within Richard’s family, and the shadow of the butler’s group and Octavia and their plotting amidst it all. But I still found a lot of joy and catharsis in this one that made it a very moving read and maybe in some ways easier than 7.

The biggest theme of this book for me was mothers and their children. Richard and his mother Catherine, of course, but also his mother and grandmother, and Seigi and his mother. If vol 6 was cathartic in helping Seigi realize he does not have to become like his father, that he is not somehow tainted by his past suffering with his father, he is worthy of love and care, and that he can cut his bio father out of his life completely and move forward to heal, then this touched on a different type of painful family relationship. Someone you’re very similar to, close to, clash with, become distanced from, but you still have some feeling or care for each other. You can get under each other’s skin. No one sees Richard the way his mother does, and vice versa. Seeing their journey in this book gave me a lot of feelings and was very relatable. Sometimes its the family members you were closest to who can make you the angriest. Seigi was such a good supportive friend to Richard throughout this and their love was very evident. One of my favorite scenes was when Richard and Catherine’s tension finally came to a head with her argument about how he treats Seigi and Seigi finally gets to speak up and set her straight.

Richard seeing then just much Seigi loves him and would stay by his side, unlike past friends who’d sided with his mother, was so touching. Then Catherine testing Seigi at the end. I think she was just as touched, after the initial anger subsided. This book presented a really human, fallible, nuanced view of motherhood. Hearing her story about being called beautiful and then it all stopping really shed some light on what must have happened between her and Richard’s father, her mind went there as soon as she saw the Amazonite. She wants better for her son, despite any of their bickering. I was happy to see them get to a place of maybe a little more understanding at the end with Richard calling her Maman. Maybe through Seigi’s support, he was able to move past some of his old hurt from that time with his childhood friends at the villa. Catherine even seems in a better place, knowing her son has someone like Seigi by his side.

Seigi’s own attempts with Hiromi at the end really broke my heart, but it was very realistic, and I’m still proud of him. He’s grown so much. Instead of getting too down or upset, he accepts that’s not where they’re at yet and recognizes his own part in that. They would have a lot more healing to do to try to make any change, if they can, but he reached out and has given their relationship more thought after all of this. I hope he can go see her and his stepdad soon. I could feel his relief that his stepdad was home now and she was safer. I hope he can return to Tokyo and feel better there in time too, he deserves it. His homesickness and his happiness to see Haruyoshi in this volume really touched me too. I’ve always felt a bit split between two countries and could feel a bit of how he did to hear the language of his home. 💕

Random other thoughts, in jumbled order:

I want to hug Jeffrey and for him to have more friends, no more playing the “villain”, give him all the souvenirs. Him pretending he doesn’t read Seigi’s blog was gold lol

Jeff, I too want to give Seigi headpats

Hugs also for Haruyoshi and Henry, they’re so cute I love their friendship

Loved Haruyoshi and Seigi’s conversation about being “off the rails” and forging their own path, and how much they connected meeting up this time after college and supported one another. Their friendship is lovely and it felt like a warm hug seeing them have fun and laugh together

Seigi feeling okay enough to take photos and put a few on his blog, and even post a blog at all, was such a sign of his healing

Richard probably should have warned Seigi more clearly about how some folks in the countryside might treat him, but I understand he didn’t want to worry him that all people might be like that one couple either. I’m happy Pierre was good to Seigi. Also Richard is human and imperfect too and that’s okay, he realized the potential error in not warning him, stood up for Seigi and apologized. Catherine should have listened closer when Seigi told her he was going to paint, and Seigi I wish had resisted that whim to help, but I understand where Seigi was coming from, and Catherine’s got her shortcomings and that can’t all change at once

Seigi recalling the rules of Etranger not to discriminate after this 🥺 coming full circle with understanding them and with understanding the feeling of Etranger being abroad

Catherine wanting to help roll up Seigi’s pantlegs to wade in the river—how many times must she have done that for young Richard during his childhood in their summers at the villa 🥺 some motherly instincts are still in her, there was some real care between them. Richard remembering she's lactose intolerant. They mean something to each other

Vince I’m sure you have a good heart and your reasons and all but I still kinda wanna throw hands with you sometimes. Stop being so mysterious and cryptic. I figure he’s trying to look out for Octavia and maybe Seigi somehow, but his method of playing the “villain” aggravates me far more than Jeff’s does so far. He even makes Seigi go bark bark sometimes xD

The conversation in the hole with the treasure HOW DID SEIGI WALK AWAY DURING THAT? He compartmentalizes like no other. Richard was really showing his feelings more in this volume. For a while I was unsure if he had a fever or was blushing furiously from embarrassment, shame, or some other overwhelming combo of feelings. His praise of Seigi and questioning why he would stay by him… oof in the feels

“You don’t want to sleep with me?” RICHARD TOOK ME OUT xD Seigi.exe stopped working

Seigi saying he’s not “especially vulnerable” to Richard’s sad face, ah the unreliable narrator evidence continues to pile up

Him reaching out towards Richard before they go to sleep 🥺 they were adorable sharing the room

Richard blanket burrito, honey I hate mornings too, he wanted Seigi to see him “well coiffed” 😂😂😂

Richard keeps getting compared to Sherlock Holmes in this volume and plays a violin, thank you for the food, Sensei. He was already British, very intelligent and a boxer, I’ll add this to the list

Seigi’s and Richard’s happiness during the conversation where Richard calls Seigi his friend was so so adorable and precious, these cute fools can’t even walk properly after lol

Is French solitaire similar to mancala or am I way off? That’s what I was picturing

Richard and Seigi would be very cute on a tandem bicycle

Them both wanting to take panoramic photos after big moments to remember them, cuties, anytime Richard borrows a line of Seigi’s

Loved all the artist references in this one, pander to the art nerds please yesss, once again thank you for the food

All the actual food sounded so delicious. Seigi just casually whipping up bouillabaisse from an online recipe his first time 🤌🏼 *chef’s kiss*

All the times Seigi wanted to make Richard sweets, but also the time he WITHHELD THEM to get Richard to cooperate and talk 😂 I’m convinced I hallucinated that scene and I just read it today, I wanna reread

In the early parts, Sensei loves to fake us out and build suspense by making the reader think we’re gonna see Richard / have Richard and Seigi reunite 😆 It happened THREE times this vol with Jeff (as soon as he described the person’s skin as sickly I was like I can’t see Seigi saying that even if Richard was ill, but aww Jeff is going through it), then Haruyoshi where Seigi kept being so vague and just saying he was meeting a friend, and then finally Catherine whos doing the most entertaining herself with Richard cosplay to test Seigi 😂 Sensei got me good EVERY TIME

He may frustrate me at times, but I like Vince’s gamer side and his fashion sense. Gimme the phoenix jacket and the pink sneakers thankss. Probably the only time he enjoyed himself in this book was geeking out with Pierre about FPS games

There's a theme of masks in this book, of people behaving differently or performing a role outside of their true selves, for whatever purpose: Jeffrey playing the villain, Catherine playing the hostess, Vince playing Octavia's spy. But all these characters have sides to them underneath this that are hinted at or shown outright, and that mask slips away. Seigi can see through Jeffrey's and Catherine's pretty well, but he's still figuring out Vince

Seigi and his new doggo Jiro 🥺 I NEED THEM TO BE SAFE

THAT CLIFFHANGER?!?!? VINCEEEE

Will probably edit this to add more as this book spins around in my brain further until the next volume. Formatting on my phone is the worst so my apologies if it’s all over the place here. 😅

[childofhypno]

just some thoughts from sherlock and co. Mailbag episode

honestly I did this to myself and at 3am no less.

In an mailbag episode on the sherlock and co. patreon, answering a question on their favorite musicals, John answered Les Misèrables. And being the romantic we know our loveable doctor to be, I was perusing the songs from the 2013 movie album and came across On My Own.

Sung by Èpoine about her unrequited love for Marius. And that is sad in its own regard, there's a reason it's one of the musicals most popular songs and Samantha Barks does a great job of that crushing emotional weight of being so wrapped in someone, so ultimately dazzled by them and wanting to be near them. But knowing they will not look at you the same, will not place the same value on the time and proximity you share. And that is not their fault and it is hard to love someone and desire to be close and yet have them be the source of your greatest pain and rejection, even though they may wish you no harm.

It's been hinted at and out right stated (by Sherlock) that John wants to be liked. And given what we've heard about John's last relationship (the one whereby he gained ownership of Archie after the split) and perhaps some insecurities there, insecurities in his own capabilities, comparing himself to others, its understandable to read John as something of an insecure man. Not in a toxic manner but John definitely has a lot of self doubts about himself and his place in the world and what he can offer to others. Despite him so naturally being able to attune to people and their needs and being quite bloody smart and intuitive. All round just a decent person.

And John, as much as anyone, marvels at Sherlock Holmes. This almost mythical figure. John admires Sherlock and maybe envies him on some level. I think not in Sherlock's deduction skills or specific knowledge skillsets but maybe in Sherlock's apparent surety in himself and where he is in life and what he wants from it. Sherlock is plainly himself, even if it means not "fitting in " John often tries to mould himself to what others might like, and hey, as a people pleaser, oh boy do I understand that. Almost becomes like muscle memory.

Sherlock in turn, I think admires John's social prowess. His ability to express the complexity of emotions. Just because someone doesn't emote the typical way doesn't mean they don't feel the emotions. And that can be incredibly frustrating when you want to communicate with others. Sherlock cares about people. He's interested in people. And he can't always express or connect with them in the way he wants. Like a language barrier he mentioned in another mailbag episode. That is why Sherlock and John work. They draw out in each other and supplement for the qualities they lack or yearn to have more of. They're a balancing act. A good one. And I'm not the first to point that out.

All this to say, imagine when that act is separated. The Fall. Grown so comfortable to have the other's support, always by each others side and then, suddenly the other person isn't there. And you have to remember how you functioned without them before. But you can't go back. You're not the same person you were. But if they aren't there to remind you, to encourage you, it's easy to fall back into old habits.

And so the song. On My Own. From John's perspective, watching the man the myth the dazzling legend that is Sherlock Holmes, getting swept up in the adventures, feeling totally out of place but thrilled be along for the ride, participating, maybe growing in confidence all because of coincidental flat share with possibly the most brilliant and bizzare man he's ever met. The world is changing for John Watson. And Sherlock is seemingly at the center of it all. He's found purpose. Friends. A home. Maybe more. But John is as fallible in his assumptions as any of us are. And Sherlock appears to have no interest in such relationships and John, not confident enough to make the first move. So he can daydream. Of what it would be like to be with Sherlock. And what it would be like be without Sherlock.

And then the Fall. And he truly is without Sherlock and his world has dulled and greyed and blurred. The city has lost its glimmer. The flat is quiet. The words are meaningless. And John sits with his what ifs.

Don't think of John hearing this song. Of the heartbreak of knowing that you can ever be with the one you love. And knowing that taste of what brilliant technicolours the world is when you were with them, full of stimulating twinkling lights. And thinking it could never be that way again. Don't imagine John, sat in the flat, in the achingly quiet flat, as a woman sings for her never was love, head in his hands, Archie resting his head on John's knee. Don't think of John cursing himself for not being sure enough to tell Sherlock how he felt, for not being good enough again to save his friend. Don't think of John Watson, once again, on his own.

[stargazer-sims]

The Art of Redemption

(part 8)

previous // next // story index

__________

Beth-Anne is furious.

She tries never to lose her temper with her students, but she’s as fallible as everyone else. As hard as she’s worked on her patience and self-control over the years, she still has a breaking point, and sometimes the kids will push her beyond it.

Today, the perpetrator is Brett.

He’s not a bad kid. None of her students are. Sure, they have their share of personal drama, and the teenagers in particular can be mercurial. They know how to press all her metaphorical buttons, not to mention each other's, but for the most part they support one another even if they aren't all best friends all the time. She's rarely known any of them to be blatantly disrespectful to her or to each other.

But, of course, there are always exceptions.

In hindsight, maybe she shouldn't have been surprised when she'd returned to the practice rink to discover a clearly upset Nikolai escaping into the corridor and a smug-looking Brett leaning against the boards with one toe pick stuck casually into the ice, but she was. She was so startled, in fact, that she utterly failed to react for a second or two.

Nikolai had already gone past her before she remembered her voice and asked him what was wrong. He replied, though she couldn't be certain what he said. She thought it sounded like "I'm going home."

For a moment, she was torn between heading for the ice or catching up with Nikolai. It was fairly obvious something had transpired between him and Brett, and she wanted to make sure he was okay, but she also had a job to do that she'd already neglected far longer than she should have.

Brett can wait a few more minutes, she decided.

She set her skate bag on the floor and then hurried down the corridor after Nikolai. With the advantage of two healthy legs, it was easy enough for her to get ahead of him. She halted in front of him so that he was compelled to stop as well.

"I thought I asked you to tell me if you wanted to go home," she said.

"I just did."

"Right. I suppose it won't do any good to ask you what happened."

Nikolai looked up at her, and the only way she could describe the expression on his face was despair. His voice trembled. "This was a mistake. I don't belong here."

She can acknowledge now, she didn't know what to do. She wanted to comfort him, to pull him into an embrace and tell him that wasn't true and that he most certainly does belong here, but she sensed he wouldn't like her touching him just then and he probably wouldn't have believed any reassurances she might've given anyway. Feeling helpless, all she could think to say was, "How are you planning to get home? I can't take you right now."

"Bus, I guess," he said.

"No," she said. "It's too cold and icy for you to try to walk all the way to the bus stop. Do you think you can drive?"

His tone was bemused. "Anya probably has the car, so..."

"If you can manage driving, you can take my truck," she told him.

After a brief pause, he said, "Okay."

She jogged back to where she'd left her bag and dug the keys out of one of its small outer pockets. Returning to Nikolai and placing the keychain in his hand, she said firmly, "The house key is on there too. You text me when you get home, okay? As soon as you get there. Understand?"

"I will."

"We'll talk when I get home."

"Okay."

She had no idea if they'd actually discuss anything once they were both at home again or not, but she told herself this wasn't the time to dwell on it. She watched Nikolai until he disappeared around the corner.

Now, she's standing outside the entrance to the practice rink, skate bag in hand, doing her best to compose herself and to not jump to any unfounded conclusions. Although she can probably guess with some accuracy what took place before she arrived, she has to remind herself that she has almost no facts.

Steadying herself with a deep breath and a long, slow exhale, she pulls open the door and steps through it. Brett is precisely where she'd last seen him, and he's still wearing the same shit-eating grin.

One look at that arrogant little smirk and all her effort to stay calm flies out the proverbial window.

Fuck it. I'm going to find out exactly what went down, and then this kid is getting a piece of my mind.

She doesn't waste time pausing at the benches to put her skates on. She marches confidently across the slick surface of the ice until she's face-to-face with her teenage student. Skipping over the usual greetings and pleasantries, she goes straight to, "Tell me what just happened. The truth, Brett. I don't want any of your usual bullshit, got it?"

The corner of his mouth twists like he's trying not to laugh at some joke only he knows. "What do you think happened?"

"I'm not in the guessing business," she says.

"It was nothing," says Brett. "All I did was tell the truth. I guess some people are too sensitive to handle that."

She doesn't miss the emphasis he puts on 'sensitive'. He says it like it's bad. She bites back the urge to tell him he could do with a little sensitivity. He could learn a thing or two from someone like Nikolai.

Brett's condescending attitude infuriates her, and she wonders if he's aware of what he's provoking. Anger is her demon, and she has to fight like hell to keep it in check. It terrifies her, but at the same time a small part of her relishes how powerful it makes her feel. She is in charge of this situation, not him. There's a hierarchy here, and she's the person at the top of it.

She takes another stride forward until she's close enough for the toe of her right boot to touch the toe pick of Brett's left skate. He's a handful of centimetres taller than her and she has to tilt her chin a little to meet his eyes, but that doesn't deter her.

She stares into his face, and in a voice that sounds way more quiet and calm than she feels, she says, "What happened? Tell me. Now."

Brett stares back at her. She can feel her pulse in her throat.

Four or five more heartbeats tick by, and then Brett lowers his gaze. He stammers, "Can you... can you, uh... take a step back? Please?"

She complies with the request, but she doesn't take her eyes off him. "Tell me what happened."

It's evident to her that he doesn't want to confess his role, but he probably feels like he hasn't got a choice at this point. He opens his mouth to speak, and his voice cracks on the first syllable. That's as far as he gets. His eyes go wide, and he swallows so hard that she's able to see a slight ripple of the skin at his throat.

He's scared, she realizes.

Her first reaction is, Good. He should be scared.

As soon as the thought forms, she immediately regrets it. Her goal hadn't been to frighten him, only to find out what had caused Nikolai to flee from the place in such a state of distress. It'd bothered her way more than she's willing to admit, seeing Nikolai crying like that, and a genius intellect wasn't required to figure out that Brett was at least partially responsible for it, but scaring the teenager wouldn't fix it. The only thing she's accomplished is to stick herself with the problem of two upset skaters instead of one.

Well done, Beth-Anne. Way to fuck shit up more than it already was.

"I'm sorry," Brett murmurs.

Beth-Anne's anger dissipates as quickly as it'd flared up, and just as quickly, shame and guilt rush in to fill the space it had occupied. She suddenly feels weak, and she becomes alarmingly aware that she's shaking.

"No, I'm sorry," she says.

"Am I in trouble?"

"No." She holds out her hand to him. "You're not in trouble, but we do need to talk. Can we do that?"

He doesn't take her hand, but she didn't really expect him to. However, he does follow her off the ice and then sits meekly beside her on a bench. "I'm really sorry," he says again. "I was in a bad mood, and seeing him here just made me mad, and... I don't know. I'm nervous about Junior Worlds and flying and... Everything this week just feels like, so unfair."

"This week's been pretty unfair to everybody," she says. "You, Mariah and little Eden. All the group class students."

"And Nikolai?"

"Him too. And me."

"I said some mean stuff to him."

"I assumed as much.”

"He cried," Brett says. "I didn't know he was gonna cry. It made me uncomfortable, but like... it also felt kinda good? Not good, but like I was in control of a situation for a change and I didn't want to stop myself once I got going, even though I knew I should. Does that even make any sense?"

The muscles of Beth-Anne's mouth twitch in an involuntary and probably very crooked smile. "Would it shock you if I said it makes perfect sense to me?"

"It does?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Are you gonna make me apologize?" he asks.

"No, I'm not," she tells him.

This time when he makes eye contact with her, she observes incredulity rather than fear. "But... you were literally terrifying a minute ago. I've never seen anybody get that mad, like ever. I figured you were going to yell at me and tell me I had to say sorry and… basically make me feel like shit about myself.”

“Have I ever yelled at you?” she asks.

“No, but I’ve never seen you that angry before either.”

“I shouldn’t have let myself get that angry," she says. "I was reacting instead of responding, and that wasn’t right. I'm supposed to be setting an example for you, but I guess I wasn't doing my job very well, was I?"

"You were," Brett says, and the words come out so softly that she's barely able to hear them. When she glances at him again, she sees tears tracing long, wet lines down his cheeks. He scrubs fiercely at his eyes with the back of his hand, sniffles and continues, "My mom... She gets mad and throws things. Not at me, but I still don't like it. And my dad sometimes gets in my face and yells, but... but he doesn't stop even when he knows I'm scared." He lifts his gaze to meet hers and whispers. "You stopped."

Beth-Anne doesn't know Brett's parents very well, but from all the times she's interacted with them, she has the impression Brett isn't particularly high on their list of priorities. If she were to guess, she would've said they hardly bother with him at all, much less take enough notice to get angry and scream at him. It's Brett's live-in tutor, Jordan — Jordy, as Brett affectionately calls him — whom Beth-Anne most often deals with, and it seems to her that Jordy parents him more than his parents do.

Christ, what a mess. What an absolute fucking train wreck this day is turning out to be.

Sadly, she knows a thing or two about being yelled at by an angry parent, and about being terrified of them. She understands how a kid will latch onto any adult that helps them feel safe. She'd done that with her skating coach when she was a kid, and with her older brother Jason. They did all they could, and she credits Jason for saving her in the end, but not before far too much damage had been done.

Without warning, her brain throws a vivid replay in front of her mind's eye; Claudia shrieking, blind drunk, and charging at eleven year old Beth-Anne and her little sister with the neck of a broken bottle clutched in her white-knuckled hand.

"Abby, run!" Beth-Anne had screamed so hard that it'd felt like something was ripping inside her throat, but little Abby was paralyzed with terror and didn't obey the command.

In this moment, Beth-Anne can’t remember what she or Abby had done to make Claudia so enraged. She only remembers grabbing her five year old sister, practically flinging her into the corner, and then shielding her as best as she was able to do with her own scrawny body.

Until that day, she hadn't had the slightest clue how much a human face could bleed. She also hadn’t grasped her full capacity for fear until then, and she genuinely believed her own wildly beating heart and oxygen-desperate lungs would kill her before her injuries did.

She's pulled out of the traumatic scene in her mind by the light touch of Brett’s fingertips on her knee. She blinks and nearly gasps. Brett is still crying, and now he looks as close to panic as Beth-Anne feels. She becomes conscious of hot tears on her own face.

"Are you okay?" Brett inquires.

She gulps air and somehow gets out, "I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm all right. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I... I guess so."

"Do you want to talk about it? Your parents, I mean."

He shakes his head. "No," he says, and then, "Why did you stop?"

He doesn't elaborate, but she knows what he's asking her.

Because I'm not my mother, she wants to tell him. Because even though you're not mine, I love you as if you are, and I never want to hurt you. But her eventual answer is, "Because anger doesn't solve anything. All it would've done would be to hurt you and make you not want to trust me any more."

He appears to consider that.

"Sometimes," he says at length, "I think you're one of the only people I can trust. You and Jordy. And like, I'm grateful, but sometimes it's still really hard 'cause I know my life isn't like other people's. LIke Mariah and Eden and Nikolai... they have normal families with normal parents. They go to regular school and do normal stuff with their families. Well... not Nikolai I guess. He doesn't live with his parents or go to school, but you know what I mean."

"I know," Beth-Anne says.

"And like, I kinda want Nikolai's life, or Mariah's. Not exactly their life, but something like it. You know?"

"I know," she says again. When she reaches out her hand this time, he takes it, and she squeezes his fingers gently. "When you're struggling, it's easy to wish you had a different life, but you know something? It's not always going to be the way it is now. You'll grow up and you'll learn a lot of things, and people will come into your life who'll change it for the better if you let them. And you can change your own life, too. You're the only one who can live it, and you're in charge of shaping it however you want."

"It doesn't feel like I'm in charge of anything."

"Sometimes it doesn't," she concedes. "It feels like that for adults sometimes too, like everything's gone to shit and there's nothing you can do about it, and sometimes there really is nothing you can do except hang on until it gets better. In times like that, the most important thing is how you respond."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it's no use to blame people for things that no one has any control over, or to act like everyone's against you, or to be too proud to ask for help when you need it. Stuff like that. People will remember you for how you behave when circumstances are at their worst."

"So... you're saying Nikolai is going to remember that I was mean to him?"

"That wasn't the point I was trying to make," she says. "But, yeah. I think he'll remember, but I'm equally sure that if you ask him to forgive you, he will. Then he'll also remember that."

"You said you weren't going to make me apologize," Brett says.

"I'm not. I think you should apologize, but you're old enough not to need me or any other adult to make that choice for you. You should do it if you think it's the right thing to do, not because I think it is."

"Okay," he says. "Should I do it today?"

"Maybe give yourself some time to think about it," she suggests. "And give Nikolai a chance to settle down a little, too. He's going through a lot right now."

"Because of his leg?"

"Yes, but it's more than that. In a way, he's grieving because he's lost one of the most important things in his life. And I won't lie to you, watching him go through it is fucking tearing my heart out, so you can imagine how much worse it feels for him."

Brett pulls his lower lip between his teeth. "Yeah. But... you're helping him, right? Taking care of him?"

"That's my job," she says. "He's my friend."

"Am I your friend too?" he asks hesitantly, and he momentarily reminds her of a small child rather than a fourteen year old. It reinforces just how vulnerable he is, and how much he needs her protection and support.

Her heart aches with regret for her earlier actions. She wishes there was a way to erase that awful slip, but then she recollects the advice she'd just given him. People remember how you behave when circumstances are at their worst. Had she acquitted herself? Had she regained control before she'd caused him any harm? She assures herself that she did, because she thinks she likely wouldn't be sitting here and talking to him candidly like this if she hadn't.

"I like to think you and I are friends," she says.

"But Nikolai is your favourite."

"Maybe, but Nikolai is an adult, and we've known each other for a really long time. My friendship with him is different than my friendship with you," she says. "Anyway, it's okay to have favourites. That's just human nature. But, even if Nikolai is my favourite, that doesn't mean I wouldn't go to the ends of the Earth for you."

"You... would?"

"We've already been all over the world together, haven't we?"

This draws a tiny smile from him. "I like travelling with you. Flying isn't so bad when you and Jordy are there."

"I'm glad we make it a little easier for you."

"Yeah, but I still wish teleportation was a thing."

Despite herself, Beth-Anne laughs, and with her laughter some of the tension in her body falls away. "That would make it more convenient, wouldn't it? When you and Nikolai are back on speaking terms, you should ask him about flying. I'll bet he wishes teleportation was a thing, too."

"He doesn't like flying either?"

"Not unless he's flying through four rotations," she says.

"Me too. Some day soon, I'm going to do all the same quad jumps he can do."

"Someday you will," she agrees. "Not today, though."

"Are we still going to skate?"

"That's up to you," she says. "We will if you're up to it. If not, I can call Jordy to come pick you up."

"No," Brett says. "He needs his daily break from me. Plus, we've already lost enough time. Nobody wins gold medals by sitting on their ass, right?"

Beth-Anne grins. "Why does that sound exactly like something I'd say?"

"Probably 'cause it is."

"Cheeky little shit," she says, and is gratified when he tries unsuccessfully to stifle a laugh with his hand. "Give me a couple minutes to put my skates on. Then we'll warm up, and then I want to see whether you've been working or slacking while I've been away."

He pokes out his tongue at her. "Working. What else would you expect? Why would I be slacking off when there's a world championship gold medal in South Korea just waiting for me to earn it?"

"Let's not get overconfident," she warns.

"I want you and Jordy to be proud of me," he says. “Maybe my parents would even be proud of me if I won a world championship gold medal."

She has her doubts about that, but it's an illusion she doesn't want to shatter for him. She says, "I can't speak for your parents or Jordy, but I'm already proud of you. You don't need a gold medal to make me proud."

"Even if I'm a pain in the ass and you lose it with me sometimes?"

"Yeah," she says. "Even so. You're not the first massive pain in my ass to also make me proud, you know. But, I've learned something in my life, and it's that if you actually take the time to listen to a troublemaker and really get to know him, he usually ends up being well worth the trouble."

[multifunctionalnitroglycerin]

Heaven is not entirely on the wrong – a hazbin hotel theory #3 SERA

I know, you hate her. The Seraphim that is all high and mighty, and has ordered the slaughter of countless souls. (I am not going to say innocent or not, but they were souls).

            But let us try to see things from her perspective for a bit. She is responsible for all the souls up in heaven, and has a little sister, mentee, daughter idk, that she cares about very much. Perhaps even too much, in the sense that to me she comes off as so overprotective she didn’t; tell Emily what she needed to know. She tried to protect her innocence and paid for her decision of keeping Emily in he dark with losing Emily’s trust. It’s a barrier that overprotective guardians often cross with their charges. They make the decisions for them, keep them in the dark, because they think they know better, and don’t really acknowledge that said charge (child, sister etc) has grown up, is their own person, can make their own decisions and form their own opinions.

            Back to the point, you have an overprotective Sera responsible for the countless souls up in heaven, the hell in turmoil with a supposed uprising, lead by Lilith? (We don’t really know much abt her to be sure) that could threaten the order you are trying to maintain.

            And let us not kid ourselves, heaven loves order. And rules. It’s a really hierarchical and disciplined society, but it is fallible to failings because of that. Because rules don’t predict everything, laws are not always right. Moral and lawful are not always on the same page. Heaven in Hazbin is meant to enunciate the failings of such a system that religiously follows rules, unbendingly and relentlessly. It’s a bit like how morally correct and lawfully correct do not overlap, and people who are applauded for the morality of their decisions might find themselves facing legal repercussions. (And it’s why I’d make a terrible lawyer, sorry mom).

            So she has to do something. She needs to protect order and all that’s good. She is desperate. And then comes in with the “masterplan”, that serves his own sadism and entertainment but ultimately makes him and unwitting hero. And “you have to listen it was such a hard decision” and I believe that. It’s also a decision that she made in tandem with Adam and Lucifer. But it burdens on her so much because genocide goes against what she stands for.

And I’d like to take the hellfire that’s reflected in her eyes in the song and give it another spin. One that is unlikely, but still. I’d like to propose that the fire, reflects exactly that inner turmoil, that fire of consequences that burns within Sera herself, reflects the hellishness of her decision and that it makes her less than holy. Not necessarily that she is bad and has an agenda against hell, but she made a hellish decision that redacts from her holiness, and that is reflected in the hellfire that burnt in her eyes on that moment.

Ofc that doesn’t make the decision correct or a moral one. And we do see her struggle with it. It’s also a burden she is unwilling to share with anyone. “I though since I m older, that its my load to shoulder.” She is not happy abt that decision, that load that burdens her, but she doesn’t want Emily to bear that same burden, that probably eats away at her bit by bit. Which could be why she is so disgruntled when Pentious arrives. Because she has burdened herself, doused her hands in sin and the blood of countless souls, only to learn that it’s redundant. She made a sacrifice only to learn that it was not needed. And ofc her initial sentiments abt it won’t be positive.

 Because it gives you solace, thinking that the decision is necessary. It calms your conscience thinking, I couldn’t do anything else. It’s probably what had her sanity hanging by a thread as far as the exterminations go. And then she learns that, she didn’t have to do it. There was no reason for restless sleepless nights, for breaking heavens rules, for going against what she believed in. She sinned when she didn’t have to. And it’s not sth anyone would have positive feelings about at least initially.

 I don’t think the show will go that way, because so much it has been anti heaven, and well Sera’s portrayal does allude to sth more sinister going on behind the scenes. And Sera could be in on that, vengeful and anti-hell or she could be merely a pawn in a larger scheme.

Sera is also ancient. And has witnessed many of the marvels that humanity has achieved. Both the good and terrible ones. And well, you cannot teach an old dog new tricks. She has formed her opinions already, and there are little chances she’ll change her mind. That’s a big issue with immortal characters, that needs to be leaned into correctly, to make their immortality and all that experience play as either a vice or a virtue. So, she is ofc going to be skeptical abt redemption. Perhaps she has seen other attempts before, perhaps she has seen schemes parading around as redemption that only aimed in disorder and chaos.

And something that annoys me a bit abt various character portrayals, is how they get positively or negatively seen regardless of the actual weight of their decisions. Adam is a fan favorite, and he is a prick. Carmilla was willing to let all of hell burn to save just her daughters. (I love her soooo much though. And she did help in the end.) It’s a bit of a case that the hero would sacrifice you to save the world, and the villain would let the world burn if it meant it would keep you safe.

And Sera sacrifices souls that have already been condemned by divine judgement – again I think that the worthy ones if there had been any, probably popped up in heaven’s doors with amnesia or sth and thus the whole thing went under their noses – to save those that she is charged to protect. It burdens her, but she does it all the same. Protecting countless people that in her eyes, have already proved their worthiness of being saved.

Again this introduces the faults and struggles with power, oppression discipline and rules, and how they can limit one’s view of the truth. Heaven is the one presented with the struggles of corrupt power, more so than hell in hazbin, because it’s more subtle. It’s the day to day struggle with laws and rules that give enough leeway to Adam to be an asshole and be up there but condemn Vaggie for sparing a hell born child.

All in all yes we are talking about flawed characters. Nuanced and with their own struggles, but that needed to be considered in another light as well. This was a really fun exercise to try and distance these characters from the lighting that the show already paints them with and give them a bit of a spin from an outsiders perspective. Ofc this doesn’t erase their flaws but we need to see them as the multidimensional characters that they are, and all the different levels of struggle they deal with. It’s not all black and white after all.  

[mdhwrites]

I don't know if you've watched Gravity Falls or been deep in the fandom but I just realized how similar Luz and Mabel kinda are. They're both young quirky girls whose selfish actions helped the main villain achieve their goal (supposedly, in Luz's case) and learn the lesson of facing reality instead of being stuck in a fantasy world where they get everything they want (although Luz doesn't really learn this even though it was kinda set-up for her in s1) (they also have a girl rival with shit parents that the fandom ships them with but anyway-)

I'm not saying this to shit on Luz though, I like Luz. But it mind boggles me how Mabel gets shitted on way more than her does despite being younger, actually learning her lesson, and apologizing for it. It might because they're different shows but I know a lot of TOH fans were/are GF fans because of the creators' relationship so the fandoms aren't that different from one another. It MIGHT be because Mabel trusted Blendin so easily despite the situation being shady as hell (while Luz just thought Philip was a normal human in the demon realm) but to be fair, Mabel was cornered in a moment of vulnerability and she literally didn't even know what she was giving him. Abandoning her friends and family for her own fantasy land while an apocalypse going on was really horrible, I won't deny that, but Luz also pretty much did the same when she chose the demon realm (place she doesn't know anything about with STRANGERS) over her own world in the first episode. Sure there wasn't anything horrific going on in the human realm so her ignorance of it wasn't as bad as Mabel's– BUT THEN in TTT she thinks of leaving everyone behind by staying in the human realm while the Collector was doing who knows what???

I don't know, this might be kinda petty, I haven't rewatched GF in ages, but I just think it's unfair Mabel gets more hate than Luz. I feel she's had more character progression compared to the latter and at least she always got called out when she did something wrong and learned from it.

So take all of this with a grain of salt because while I've heard a little of this discourse, I haven't watched a lot of Gravity Falls (recently tried again and found myself not loving the first episode if I'm honest) and have never been a part of its fandom. However, this is a chance to talk about why Luz is so liked and 'relatable' to so many because it is not hard to figure out why people like Luz. Why? Well... A lot of it comes down to framing and how the two shows see the two girls.

Gravity Falls sees Mabel as a tweenage girl.

The Owl House sees Luz as the embodiment of what a teenage nerd wishes they were/could be.

Those are VERY different goals and framing.

One, Mabel, is going to be INCREDIBLY fallible. Neither her or Dipper are anywhere close to perfect people because... Well, they're teenagers. They get way too into certain things. They're awkward when it comes to those obsessions. They're awkward about how to deal with change, consequences, etc. like that because that's just the age they are. They're figuring out the world and are going to run face first into it and that will be awkward, clumsy and often destructive without any sort of excuse besides they didn't think the consequences through. That's kids for you.

The other is... More idealistic. Luz doesn't face real consequences for testing her boundaries and is always bailed out. When she fucks up, she always does it with the best intentions and/or no one actually gets hurt. People coddle her and always make concessions to her desires with minimal push back and always end up on her side unless they're just a REALLY big meanie head. She always makes peoples' lives better, she never gets real criticism or ridicule for her interests and is always accepted by the right people for those interests. Always given more and more for being her quirky self!

A lot of this for Luz is because she's an audience surrogate and TOH wants the audience to feel good about themselves. It knows that a lot of nerds will be the ones watching it and leans in. This is actually contrasted by the fact that, well, Mabel isn't the audience surrogate or the absolute primary character of Gravity Falls. Her role is more complicated versus Dipper who IS the nerdy one who's closer to being the audience surrogate.

Just to really drive this home: People on my Discord have talked about this and one of the biggest 'crimes' as seen by a lot of the fandom is that Mabel causes Dipper to lose out on his dream of researching with Ford and staying in Gravity Falls. I could even see some arguments of things like "He's planning a future!" or "He's making the world better!"

But... Let's shift the framing for a moment from "Mabel caused Dipper to give up on his dream" to "Mabel made sure Dipper chose reality over fantasy." After all, his desire was to throw away his friends, his family, EVERYTHING to just continue hanging out with this one old dude and studying the weird phenomenon of the world, an inherently isolating job. He gets to go on this big adventure and follow his intellectual drive... At the cost of reality and everything he has known.

So why don't people get upset at Dipper for trying to do this? Well, there's a lot of potential reasons that I can't really narrow down without watching the show. It may have just been framed as a positive while Mabel's is framed as negative. It could be that while Mabel's is just a generic, girly fantasy that not much of the core audience actually wants, Dipper's is the cool, smart fantasy that is totally not just a fantasy, but a CAREER. Or it could go back to the root problem: Because Dipper is closer to the audience surrogate, closer to the main character, there is a bias to inherently see his actions as good. We could literally watch two characters do the same thing and we will root for the main character simply because that is who we are trained to root for.

A great example of this from TOH is how Luz is allowed to get mad at people for lying to her but not the other way around. She literally attacks Eda and gets the two captured in Titan, Where Art Thou? because Eda lied to her and she is supposed to feel justified in this anger to make the tragedy angle work. Meanwhile, there is ONE time when anyone gets mad at Luz for lying and honestly, the framing and reactions cause it to end up feeling much more like it was just for a prettier scene change during Reaching Out. After all, Amity still wants to fix Luz's pain before Luz even apologizes for breaking her word by lying. So why doesn't anyone call out the hypocrisy here? Why is NO ONE allowed to get upset with Luz about this?

Because she's the main character. Because we are trained to root for her and, well, Luz also is the one we are told to want to be. She is the every nerd. She is meant to connect to a very wide net of outcasts who feel like they don't belong and wish things were different. Wishes people weren't mean to them or didn't get mad at them when they made mistakes. That just let them be the hero of their own story.

So of course, they don't want Luz to be yelled at, even when that is the actually human and reasonable thing for someone to do. They don't want to question what she does so when the show gives them an excuse, or they have to go to reality if the show itself doesn't give an excuse (This is why people emphasize Luz's age and nuerodivergence to excuse her while bluntly ignoring Mabel's age when it comes to her actions), so that they don't have to recognize that Luz does some REALLY shitty things, especially in the back half of the show. It is simply more convenient for the narrative they want out of the show for Luz to be this way.

And that is okay from a casual standpoint. A lot of fiction is escapist. There's nothing wrong with wanting to jump into a world where you're never actually wrong and never in trouble. Where your angst is always met with hugs and understanding rather than actual human emotion. That's how media works. Most mass appeal products are escapist. It's part of why the Isekai genre is SO prevalent right now because it is one of the purest forms of escapist fiction out there, especially due to modern isekai tropes.

But if you're going to talk critically about something, escapism is very rarely a good jumping off point for it. It will make you ignore a LOT about the work because it's uncomfortable for you to ask questions about it. I'm not talking about "Why does this world have magic" sort of things mind you. I'm talking about, say, "Why does this character get so many power ups, so easily, and with little effort in earning them?" When you want escapism, the pacing won't bother you. If you're actually looking at themes and payoffs, it will bother you a LOT. And yes, this does tie into TOH because if you want to be Luz, getting the glyphs feels great! If you actually interrogate the story, you go "Wait, they hadn't actually done like... ANYTHING with her not having magic in a magical world and she already gets a spell? And two of these spells she does literally nothing for. Arguably three since she is put into timeout as a punishment and gets the glyph I guess for being a bad person." That TOTALLY is good storytelling and makes sense with positive themes and proper explorations of its own ideas.

*sigh*

It's a rough push and pull and it can make it so people, even if they like the show, who disagree with the popular opinion, the one that usually lifts up the audience flattering elements the most, are just in a rough position where they hear the same opinions over and over again. All while knowing that if they speak up, they'll be stomped on.

Just like Mabel was while Dipper was raised into the spotlight. At least by the fandom.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[sage-nebula]

Look man, there's nothing wrong with disliking someone's writing. Sometimes a writer's style or content is just not for you, and that's okay! It's okay even when the writer is super popular. For instance, I myself am not a fan of Tolkien or Neil Gaiman. Tokien takes way too long to get to the point for me, and at least in American Gods, Gaiman just used too many metaphors in quick succession, which made me feel the writing was pretentious to its detriment. It was Pratchett's style that made me love Good Omens, not Gaiman's.

Of course, that's not to say these men were / are bad writers! They're wildly beloved for a reason, after all. It's just to say their styles aren't for me. This happens sometimes. It's okay.

So when it comes to Sonic writer Ian Flynn, not everyone has to like his work. Heck, there are things he's written that I myself don't care for, such as:

The House of Cards arc in Archie

Sonic not correcting Kit when Kit called him "sir" in IDW

How the conflict between Tangle and Whisper was resolved in #58

Belle somehow knowing who Surge and Kit were despite Metal Sonic not knowing that

No writer on this planet is perfect, and that includes Ian Flynn. Good faith criticism of his work is natural, and from what I've heard on the Bumblekast (and I've listened to a good number of episodes at this point) he takes good faith criticism very well.

You'll notice, though, that I said good faith criticism. There is a difference between good faith criticism, and bad faith attacks. Here are some examples of each:

Good Faith Criticism:

I feel that [character] was written out of character in [thing] when you consider recent characterization in other things (with emphasis on recent; games that came out 16 years ago may no longer align with Sega's view of the character)

I think that the writing was a little sloppy here for the sake of speeding the plot along

I don't enjoy this plot arc because of the pacing / the themes / the characters being focused on

These are good faith criticisms because they don't attack the person or people who created the work; they make sure to note that this is personal opinion / preference on behalf of the critic; and they're grounded in reality, rather than conspiracy.

Bad Faith Criticism:

The writer on this licensed product HATES the IP and HATES these characters and wants to make them something totally different

All of the writers on staff are LYING when they say the company that owns the license they are working on has rules they have to follow

The writers have an AGENDA they're pushing and that's the ONLY reason why they're working on this licensed product at all; if they say they're doing it for love of the series or work they are lying once again

These are bad faith criticisms because they attack the people who make the works directly; they contain baseless accusations as a form of defense against the idea that the parent company could be moving their mascot and characters in a new direction; and altogether they paint the writers as some sort of nefarious masterminds instead of what they actually are: people who are fallible.

And then of course, there is always something so unhinged it's even worse than the above:

Heinous Behavior:

I hope [writer] dies and I'll celebrate when they do!

This sort of behavior isn't even criticism. It's just heinous, and I shouldn't need to explain why. Disliking someone's work is fine. Talking about why you dislike the work is fine. Wishing death on someone because you dislike their work (or dislike that people enjoy their work) is deplorable behavior. When you are at this stage, you need to log off the internet and go sit alone in a quiet place to reflect upon your behavior. Also, if a children's comic (or discussions about a children's comic) is making you this deranged, perhaps consider seeking counseling, because this sort of reaction to a franchise about a blue hedgehog is not healthy.

Overall, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to engage with media. If a piece of media is making you seethe with rage to the point where other people enjoying it makes you think wishing death on an innocent person is okay, you should probably find another piece of media to engage with. It's not difficult to not read a comic or block fans whose opinons upset you. Actually, it's quite easy and I recommend it.

Be decent to each other. That's all anyone asks.

[liketwoswansinbalance]

Man's Fallibility & Immortality

I found a practically perfect song, by my interpretation, to add to my Rise to Fall playlist. (I haven't cleaned up/updated the playlist fully, so I'm not posting the whole thing yet, but I think this particular song warrants its own post.)

First, listen to the song: Nothing's New - Rio Romeo

Then, what follows below is something of a tragedy-analysis, abstract, meta-thing/omniscient prose narration experiment. I don't know what it is—an outpouring of thoughts. It may strike a similar chord as my narration at the end of Simony and its epilogue.

(Simony was a prediction fic I wrote before the publication of Fall. An extremely erroneous one though. I still think it could work, but oh, how wrong I was.

The direction Soman took the plot in, just, it was unpredictable, even if I did enjoy the book. I still like Rise better than Fall though, of the duology. If Rise had just ended at the point of: Vulcan is dead, Rafal tortures his students, and the brothers gradually learn to trust each other again, that would've been nice and comforting, honestly. But no, substitutes, substitutes, substitutes! On both sides. Drives me insane. Ack! But, I have four, short fics planned that have alternate endings to Rise and to Fall, to make up for it. Well, one of them is so far a little longer, three chapters long.)

If anyone wants me to analyze the actual lyrics more closely, I'm willing to do that too!

⸻

The tales.

They are all the same.

Good winning, Evil winning.

What difference does it make after centuries, really?

Everything probably feels numb and empty after a certain point.

Like nothing matters anymore.

Undiluted apathy after that certain point.

When? I've lost track.

When losses and victories all ring hollow, and all sound the same.

The End.

That's all It wrote.

The sum of lives distilled down to ink and illustrations.

Nothing beyond that. No life, no spark.

What more is there? When nothing will ever satisfy the restless souls, not even an Ending all to themselves.

Just pages that will yellow with time even if the stories themselves are timeless because nothing changes.

Nothing ever changes.

There's no evolution.

Every tale is the same.

It becomes nothing after nothing, not victory after victory, when you're ageless like we are.

And how, if that's how it is?

Why bother?

Why bother at all?

It's a cycle that continues, with or without the brothers.

Ceaseless.

So, why should it matter?

It's the same with or without them.

Their position was always ceremonial.

After a while, anyone becomes tiring. Anyone.

And one person just isn't enough, when you have no one else.

No one else to shield you.

It gets old. The love just... fades, and wears out.

Perhaps, human love can only span for so long, and that's why humans are mortal.

Made mortal, and no one should traverse beyond that.

It always leads to hubris, and then, a fall.

An unnatural fear of death trained into them, when limits were never set, when power was never checked, when they expected to have all the time in the world.

Nothing is built to last. At least, not by the Storian.

It does whatever it pleases.

You can't extend a life past its time.

It will always end in ruin. Isn't that the lesson the storybooks teach?

A cautionary tale.

Again and again, the cycle continues.

Every failed holy-grail of immortality, every spilled cup drawn from the fountain of youth, every cursed head of lettuce, every white snake, every chalice of sleeping draught that led to execution after execution, every baptism that succumbed to primordial wickedness, every impoverished fisherman's hovel?

Why not a tale about two brothers?

One where two are felled.

To caution against mortal greed that even immortality can't peel away.

To caution against always wanting more until you're left with nothing.

Nothing at all.

Just like how you can't truly resurrect anyone as who they once were, you can't revive the soul that a person once was.

And you can't play at being God because it defies the rules of nature.

And all that we know about transience and permanence and how ephemeral everything else is.

Everything but Man, who vies to leave a legacy wherever he goes, at any price, even at the cost of his soul, not life.

⸻

Now, I do wonder if I made anyone emotional? I certainly tried this time around, to be a provocateur like Soman is. Tell me what you think, if you want.

[david-talks-sw]

"What I'm really interested in is Star Wars from the perspective of the bad guys. Therefore, if we set something earlier in the timeline, something before the prequels, but a little bit after, you know, end of a High Republic, I was like, then the Jedi become, y'know-- Star Wars is always about "rebels vs institutional threat", right? "Underdogs vs huge empire", right? So if we set it then, the Jedi become the antagonists."

If this is implying the Jedi represent the institution/the Man... they're not. They're the underdogs.

If you go by the movies and The Clone Wars, the only people "below" them in status are Jar Jar, the clones and Anakin when he was a slave. Everybody else walks all over them.

"I think it’s difficult to do a show that is critical in any way of the Jedi."

It's surprisingly easy. Just watch Tales of the Jedi.

It won't be accurate in its criticism, but it does so happily.

"People were very nervous about saying this particular institution may not be the light and perfect, stunning group of heroes that are totally nobly intentioned"

If you search "The Jedi were good" on YouTube you get this result.

"[The Jedi] are fallible. That's really the story that George told with the prequels, right? The fall of this particular group."

No. It's not.

If you ask George Lucas, he'll ALWAYS say, from 1999 to 2020, that they're about:

how a democracy becomes a dictatorship and

how a good kid becomes a bad man.

He never brings up the Jedi when describing what the Prequels are about. The Jedi can only stand helpless, play catch-up and watch because guess what? They're the underdogs. They're not the institution.

[depizan]

Nothing in fiction makes for nice, tidy, clear cut categories. Concepts bleed into one another and there's no escaping the subjectivity of it all.

As my recent post about [fantasy series that will not be named] said, I don't like special protagonists. I especially don't like Chosen Ones, but a character can be more low-key special and I'm still just whyyyyyy. But there are characters who are special, or special adjacent, or special depending on how you define it, that I do like. And I don't know where the boundary between arguably special character and ugh special character even falls.

Even if we set aside weird anomaly characters like James Bond (How is he not special, being special is absolutely his thing. Is it that he's special in a way I can't quite take seriously? Despite also kind of working as a wish fulfillment character? I mean, who doesn't want to be amazeballs at everything? Besides me, when I'm not watching a James Bond movie.), I have trouble putting that line into any kind of words.

Take MacGyver (original flavor. I have not and will not watch the remake. WTF) for instance. Is he special? You could argue either way. His ability to pull sciencey solutions out of thin air is pretty extreme. But he doesn't feel special, at least not to me. Maybe that's because he's really pretty ordinary in every other way - just kind of an average dude who happens to be absurdly good at applying things he learned in his college science classes. Maybe it's because it feels like anybody could be MacGyver. Take a few science classes and practice thinking outside the box and there you go. You, too, can pull wacky science solutions out of thin air.

What about other woman warrior with a magic sword, Kerowyn? She could be argued to be special. She's got a little bit of the pervasive Valdemar books magic nonsense, and there is that whole magic sword thing. But Need's magic barely comes up, and mostly she's just an ordinary woman who becomes a mercenary. She's very good at what she does, but it all feels very in-universe attainable rather than special. Still, if someone said she was special, I'd have a hard time arguing why she isn't, other than ~~vibes~~.

Hell, there are characters where one version of them is special and another version isn't. I like classic Doctor Who, despite its many flaws and a special effects budget that seems to have been what loose change the crew could find in their collective sofas. The Doctor of that era of Doctor Who doesn't feel special. He's just a dude who can't resist sticking his nose in other people's problems. He just happens to be a dude who comes from a place where they have time/space ships. But I've just never warmed to nu!Who because now the Doctor is special. And, like, I can't even argue with why they decided to make him special. I just don't like it. I don't care how much it makes sense that all his meddling would eventually get him a reputation. I want my random dude with a police box back.

(And, again, I can see how people could argue that the Doctor has always been special. And I'm not sure what my counter argument is, besides ~~vibes~~.)

There's just something that grounds the characters I like and keeps them from feeling special (to me). And I don't know what that thing is, because everything I try to plug in there either should push some of the not-special characters into special or says something too extreme about the special characters. It's not about whether they have powers or whether they're good at their job or whether they're fallible or any of that. It's...

It's how the world and the narrative interact with them.

Yeah, people notice MacGyver's skills and make use of them, but for the most part, he is just a guy. He can't show up and introduce himself and have the bad guy go "oh no."

A few of the enemies on classic Doctor Who have beef with the Doctor specifically (mostly Davros and the Daleks) but that's never helpful. And the vast majority of the universe is just like "who the fuck is this weirdo and why did he offer me a jelly baby or pull out his recorder in the middle of a tense situation (or whatever)".

Yeah, there's an in-universe song about Kerowyn's first act of heroism, but it doesn't really have any effect on her life. She's just a dude. A dude who happens to be a skilled mercenary, but just a dude, none-the-less.

It even explains why Luke Skywalker inhabits this weird place between just a dude and special. Obi-Wan and Yoda keep saying he's special, but the rebels think he's just a dude. And the narrative can't make up its mind.

But as soon as a character is chosen by a god/dess or so famous that their very name can be used to make enemies go away or people act on them being the Chosen One,* or everyone knows that they're the best of the best, or... it still kind of ends up sounding like I'm saying that special characters are Mary Sues, but that's not really what I mean. They can be if it all goes too far or the universe starts turning into a pretzel around them, but there's this whole space long before that where characters are just better than normal people in some kind of way that I find off-putting and other people are on like catnip.

It's the difference between vanilla SWTOR and the expansions. At least for the non-Force Using classes. (It's more complicated with the Force Using classes.) The player character is really good. Characters may know who they are. They do some impressive things. But they are still, largely, just a person. (And you can play into that more or less. The player has a bit of agency over how much their character is special and how much they're just doing their best.)

But in the expansions, more specifically the KOFEETS, suddenly the player character is important, and important for reasons than have nothing to do with who they are as a person. (FFXIV and Guild Wars 2, as the game goes on, do this also. And I hate it. I just want to be a dude. I don't want to be the Chosen One. Please, just let me be a dude!)

Everyone is just like "you're special" and things happen that prove you're special and nothing will let you stop being special and dear god it's exactly why I hate all the specialness. Please stop making me relive being supposedly "gifted" in school. This is not my idea of a good time.

Okay, that's drifted into complaining specifically about Chosen Ones. That's specialness plus dehumanization and that horrible crushing sense of needing to kill yourself (literally or figuratively) in order to meet the bare standard of good person. Except it's not a sense, the narrative literally agrees with it. God I hate Chosen One stories.

Hem. Anyway, the circle of special doesn't just contain that. Doctor Who isn't a chosen one, but the reboot kind of made him a demigod. There's this unattainablely beyond the ordinary aspect to special characters. They're not just good, they're the best. They're more than. And, on the one hand, I get it. It's a power fantasy. But on the other hand, I really don't. I like my characters to feel attainablely good.

And that's about half me not being inspired by the unattainable. And half me hearing Spider-Man say "with great power comes great responsibility" and going "cool, don't want great power then."

*I had to specify acting on it, because Anakin is the Chosen One, but no one really acts on that. It's kind of just angst icing on what actually happens. You could delete the references to his being the Chosen One and nothing would change. I'm not saying he's exactly just a dude, but he falls more into the same category as Luke where some aspects of the narrative and some people treat him as special and others don't.

[kevin-the-bruyne]

while writing sandray's divorce fic and as i scramble to try and save their marriage - something about the way their dynamic never fundamentally worked for me has revealed itself. Sand kind of stays coolly above Ray through the whole show. Even when he isn't, even when he's directly responsible for Ray spiralling out of control and almost killing himself, he's still the good guy. He saves Ray! He's never meant to take it this far!

Sand never stops being the good guy and so Ray never stops being the bad guy. But most importantly we gloss over how Sand is wholly aware of how to manipulate Ray and nothing is stopping him from doing it again other than his infallible goodness.

Ray's entire measure of goodness at the end boils down to how good he can be to his most terrible friends (I still hold by how not forgiving Boston has been the most fatal character flaw that the show could have served Ray with) and how good a boyfriend he can be to Sand.

As much as i admire Khaotung's acting that therapy scene was so disappointing because it was about Sand. I know I was the one who said Sand taking the place of Ray's mother in Ray's life was tantamount to Ray's healing but jeezos they didn't have to take it THAT far. Instead of taking charge of his pain, Ray takes upon this grotesque goal of being and acting more like Sand. Of pleasing him even at the cost of himself. This wasn't entirely bad because Ray's ability to think sympathetically with other people was a point of growth he needed and I found the pool scene with Boeing oddly...sweet. It was how his final arc was once more dictated entirely by Mew and motivated entirely by Sand which has always been my problem. And that's where the show leaves him. One therapy session that was about Sand and a future that is entirely about Sand. By the end of the show this man hasn't batted a single eyelash towards his own trauma, his own familial issues that were at the root of his every problem with Sand anyway. And this is how I find myself writing about Ray desperately struggling to find himself in a decades long marriage with Sand. And then asking myself - who's causing this conflict that they're in? Why have they stopped communicating? And the fic is from Sand's POV so let me tell you that this narrator is not only unreliable to *you* (if you've read it that is) but he's unreliable to me. He's hiding things from me and I *will* find out what. Sand's infallible goodness will become fallible if it's the last thing I do!!! (also its the only way to save their marriage imho so if you want me to give them their happy ending you have to be on board lol)

[milkybess]

It's been four weeks since I started this process! Look at me go!

I havent missed a day yet, although some days I haven't done all my intended sessions, which, eh, I'm human and I have a fallible brain, what can you expect

I'm gonna bump myself up to four daily 10-minute sessions soon, I think, at least as a goal (I'll also be going on vacation with family soon, so I know I won't be able to do as much as I'd like, and once I start working I'll also be pretty limited, so I want to get as much stimulation time in as I can while I have the time and freedom to do so)

It's been weird and cool to feel the changes in my breasts from literally just four weeks of squeezing them every day lol, the body is wild!!

It doesn't necessarily turn me on for its own sake? But I feel like when I am aroused by it, it hits hard. My horniness is a fickle thing, though.

But yeah! Boobs good, the milk encouragement process is underway, lord knows how long it'll take but I'm always down for a daily task

[automatayaoi]

*throws a dozen dress up clowns at your head* Character design!!! murder puppet apologism!!! chemicals turning frogs gay!!! its kero kero time!!!! i dont know how to type up a real bio so im just throwing tidbits fullspeed at your window and also partially me spitballing speghetti against the wall

✨ their name is kero pierrot ofc, and they are a funny little frog clown married to arlequino hehe. keeping with the theme of commedia dell'arte their name is based off the character of the pierrot (and it's also a pun on keroppi since theyre my favorite sanrio character waha)

✨ the Pierrot was a tragic and lovesick figure, portrayed as naïve but endearing, often hiding their true feelings behind their jokes, and was a popular choice for romantic artists

✨ kero is a widdle bit fucked up in the brain zone but its FIIINE just slap a coat of face paint on there and ur good 8) Do not perceive the crushing mental illness behind the curtain

✨ grew up in america ofc, came to japan for reasons that turned out to be highly fallible (they maybe trust people a little too easily), refuses 2 talk abt this, they are however lacking in places to stay and money to spend so start of everything theyre Struggling A Little

✨ at this point they arent even kero really just Person...pathetic sopping wet frog you find under a rock. they had a special interest in clownery but always sort of put those kinds of thoughts to the side as more of a silly daydream than a goal they could achieve

✨ a clown without its nose have you ever seen anything so sad

✨ they first see masaru and the rest of the nakamichi circus when they saw them perform their street show (starting here), they just happened to be in the park at the time, and it's honestly the first time kero has felt happy since they Arrived in japan

✨ magic of the circus

✨ they spend the next few weeks going to the park and sorta following the nakamichi circus around to see more of their street shows, they don't really have much else to do anyway, they might as well spend some time having fun watching a circus act

✨ they attend so many that they actually start getting recognized by some of the circus members, especially masaru and shirogane since theyre very Perceptive. not a lot of details on those thoughts currently but masaru probably does his Main Protag/Therapist thing and gets to know kero

✨ BUT the way they actually join the nakamichi circus is during the performers meetup (starting here), kero goes to see their show again, but then things start Going Very Wrong and masaru's left by himself with no one to perform with. Little guy problems

✨ they've seen how much masaru and the others have been working and struggling in the past weeks, improving their street show, their cooperation with each other, and even if masaru hadn't talked to them they couldn't stand seeing something that made them so happy go down in flames like this

✨ SO! they hop in with vilma naota and mitsuushi to save the act! they don't have circus training like them so they can't do any fancy acts, but kero knows how to improv and roll with the punches, so they play off of the others as second zanni to liven up the show

✨ after that, i think they'd try to slip away quietly (kind of cant believe they did that) but masaru goes after them and asks them to join the circus!

✨ he knows that they wanted to be a clown, and even without formal training, he thinks having a western style clown will help the nakamichi circus stand out from the crowd! (also a call back to this moment in the manga when they went to see the straw circus)

✨ this is when they actually introduce themselves as Kero Pierrot to the others. there is no other name only Clown

✨ this has been a lot of masaru talk so far sorry he's my little buddy inflicted with main character disease. also i dont get a chance to meet my husband until like chapter 380 so i gotta be doin smth in the mean time

✨ from here on, kero sticks with the nakamichi circus as their new home :) they already knew a lot about clowning, but they really throw themselves into studying it as best they can (usually by spending hours at a library computer since most don't really have a textbook on clowns) and also training with the other members to sorta expand their repertoire. they get a lot better at the classic clown skills, your juggling, your balloon animals, what have you, BUT they also start to learn the cyr wheel!

✨ kero and masaru bond over doing circus training together. i give him a little noogie.

✨ they become pretty close with ryouko and lise too !! i jus love all my circus family i get them to play board games with me

✨ Peaceful Life (Until Its Not)

✨ this post as already gotten so long (and also i wanna reread some parts of the manga to refresh my mindself) so at some point i will expand on kero's feelings irt masaru running away and narumi joining nakamichi circus, but theres a couple other important points i want to make :V

✨ kero sorta takes a back seat with the rest of the nakamichi gang until they show up at kuroga village

✨ Specifically they join lise heima and ryouko in going to mont-saint-michel to follow masaru (they are NOT!!! letting these children go off on their own to fight!!!!)

💕 this is when they meet arlequino hehe 💕

✨ they stay by ryouko's side while they fucking Book It form the shirogane-o, and that's when they run into arle

💕 sorry ryouko but I'M the one who smiles at him 💕

✨ i should make a separate post of the manga panels i'm def in. and/or rewrite the scene as a fic which i might do at some point but just wait

💕 anyway this post is long enough so all you have to know is we get married and now hes my malewife Arlequino Pierrot 💕

💕 tagging my karakuri buddies @dissonantyote @lameassboyfriend (i hope dats oke)

[mooredanxieties]

I think it's important to like the person you love as much as you love them.

To me, Like is something social. It's formed through our life experiences, our comforts, our beliefs. It's what sparks us into conversation with people we don't know; That woman in line behind you at the grocery store, your assigned group for a project in class, the guy next to you on a connecting flight. It's about the bouts of enjoyment someone brings you, the fun, the interest, regardless of how fleeting it may be.

It changes the way your interests change. Your hairstyle, your favorite shows, the clothes you wear, the music you listen to. The things we enjoy are what spark connection with other people. Its our compatibility.

Love, on the other hand, is what draws you back to other people, time and time again. It's often unexplainable, a subconscious pull that can grow unnoticed for years of your life, all the while molding how you behave.

It changes the way trees change; it starts small and frail and fallible, but then grows stronger and more sturdy. And as it gets taller and grows more leaves, it provides shade for those under it, and a home for those who live on the branches. It grows underground where no one can see but sometimes its roots intertwine with other trees in the forest. It grows, and it changes the very earth it occupies. And it lingers. For months, for years. It's something that takes root, so even when the source of that love is gone, even when the plant is cut down, it still tries to regrow.

It's uncontrollable; it draws you to people who are good for you and it draws you to people who aren't. It's what pulls you back into regrettable relationships with people you don't want to want: an unkind lover, a cruel friend, a neglectful parent.

To me, love is uncontrollable, and sometimes painful, and sometimes bad, but always life-changing.

And the notion that another person can change us so fundamentally is romantic, but I think to have long-lasting, healthy, good Love, you need to foster Like just as much.

So experience new things, exciting things, regrettable things with the people you love. Discover new likes and dislikes. Be silly and weird. Play 20 questions every week. Learn things about each other you never thought to learn before.

You don't have to like them every day or every week, but keep trying. Like the people you love as much as you love them, so that you continue to love them wholeheartedly.