#as if the writing for his era wasn’t the best in the whole show

[ohmerricat]

getting hounded in the whatsapp group of my uni’s doctor who soc for saying that new earth is a good episode. wait until they discover that i think every single episode is good. yes even love and monsters. yes even dinosaurs on a spaceship. yes even fear her. yes even orphan 55. yes even in the forest of the night

[artdcnaldson]

You asked for blurb ideas & that thought here got stuck in my mind since this morning 🌞

Tennis Reader “thanking” Art after their training session in the locker rooms. ;)

Reader sneaks in men’s locker room after training together till evening, surprising (Stanford) Art under the shower + asking for some steamy extra cardio. 👀

And eventually Patrick walks in. Idk abt that but whatever you write is amazing, in every trope 🫶🏻

Rating: E (18+)

Warnings: SMUT (hj, fingering, p in v), throuple dynamics (+1)

A/N: Ok I’m sorry I know you said Stanford but 2019 era Art is ALLLL I can think about 🩷 forgive me for my transgressions pls

Tashi had set the whole thing up, holding his hand through it. Because Tashi and Patrick were off globetrotting for the tour— France, if he remembered correctly. Tashi just wanted to make sure he was taken care of, that his needs were being met. In his career… and otherwise.

You were a player out of… USC? He thought that sounded right. Recently graduated, doing well in the pros, already highly ranked with an excellent record. The perfect first player for Art Donaldson to coach.

She set up the entire thing, met with you to get things organized, and penciled training into his calendar with a tiny note.

Have fun without us -T

You were doing such a good job, even unwittingly— putting on the sweetest little show for him. When you’d miss a serve or a ball went out of bounds, you’d do a peppy little jog then bend over to grab it, completely unaware of the effect it might have had on him.

“I need to see how you play,” he had said as you dropped your bag on the side of the court. You smiled and nodded, and took to the opposite side of the net.

He beat you embarrassingly easily the first set. Sweat was beading on your forehead as you met him at the benches between courts and guzzled down water. When you finally came up for air, a little trail of water went from your plush bottom lip and down your chin.

He watched you lick the moisture from your lips, then wipe at the rest with the back of your hand. He swallowed hard.

“Do you want my advice?” He scratched at the back of his neck as you peered up at him expectantly. “You need to loosen up, you’re too tense.”

Your eyes widened at his direction, but you nodded. “Yeah, okay, Mr. Donaldson.” You drank down another gulp, then jogged back to the other side of the court, eager to please.

He watched you bend over, retrieving a couple of balls that you’d hit into the net, flashing tiny white spandex beneath your tennis skirt.

Jesus Christ, Tashi was evil.

By the afternoon, sweat dripped down your arms, along the line of your throat, dampened the baby hairs framing your face and the back of your neck, tacking them down to sticky skin.

“Why don’t we head to the locker rooms inside, then we can meet upstairs and go through a training plan.”

You smiled, looking so sweet and eager. “Okay.”

He was grateful for the shower— molten against aching, underused muscles. He hadn’t exactly just given up on everything after retiring, but his muscles weren’t being used the way they were used to— the constant strenuous training.

He closed his eyes, letting the spray hit his face and soak into his skin.

He heard a squeak and jumped, eyes flying open to the sight of you naked underneath one of the other shower heads, quickly adjusting the spray from ice cold to steaming hot.

“Turned it to cold on accident,” you said over your shoulder. “Women’s locker rooms are under maintenance. You don’t mind, right?”

He turned, cheeks burning pink as he tried his best to play it cool— act like he wasn’t checking you out. “No, uh, it’s fine.”

Were you in on it with Tashi? It certainly felt like it as he watched you lathering your body up with soap, maybe focusing too much attention to your tits.

You glanced over, caught him looking, and smiled. He turned away quickly with his pulse thrumming in his throat.

Fuck. He was already hard. It wasn’t exactly a surprise— he’d been half-hard just at the sight of you in that fucking outfit on the court.

He heard you laugh and looked back at you. You were looking right at him, amusement evident in your expression. “She said you’d be easy, but, Jesus, I thought you’d put up more of a fight.” 

You shut off the water of your shower and made your way over. Water dripped from your body, rolling down your skin in delicate rivulets. You stopped in front of him and ran a hand down his chest, making him shiver.

“Tashi told you?” His words trailed off into a groan as your hands moved between his legs, stroking the length of him in your delicate grasp.

“She told me to say thank you after every lesson,” you said. With each step forward you made, he took a step back, until you had him pinned against the cold tile. He moaned as your thumb ran over the tip of his cock, and you smile sweetly. “She showed me exactly how I should do it.”

“Showed you?”

You sped your hand up, twisting slightly with each tug upwards. “Mhmm. On Patrick. She went first, then I showed her what I learned.” You laughed softly, lips brushing along his jaw. “I’m a very fast learner. Patrick was very impressed.”

Fuck, he was going to get back at Tashi for not letting him be there for that. The mental image was enough to make his cock pulse in your grip. Maybe he’d just have you recreate it for him the second Tashi and Patrick came home.

Your lips brushed along the like of his jaw as you continued to jerk him off, your hand slick and tight and relentless. Just like Tashi’s would be. God, you really were a fast learner.

It would certainly make being your coach a lot easier.

“Art,” you hummed, breath hot against his ear. He nodded wordlessly, almost afraid that if he spoke, he’d wake up from a fugue state to find out that he’d just imagined it all and was mid-jerk off session.

Your lips moved against his throat, nipping gently at the expanse of soft skin. He tasted like sweat and tap water. Your words came out as a whisper, “You can fuck me now.”

He laughed shakily, flushed red down to his chest. “Now? You don’t want me to go down on you, or—“

He was cut off when you grabbed his hand and moved it between your legs. Dripping wet, silky soft, absolutely aching for him.

You moaned softly, leaning fully onto him for support as he rubbed at your clit. “T-Tashi—“ You stammered, losing that seductive bravado you’d walked in with. “Told me I should make you work for it. But, fuck—”

Art laughed softly. “You’re too needy.”

“Do you know how fucking sexy you sound when you play tennis?” You whined, breath going shaky as he pushed a finger inside of your aching cunt. “Halfway through the second set, I— god— I considered dropping the pretense and fucking you right on the— on the court.”

Tashi wouldn’t have that. When she came home, she’d clock that impatience train it out of you. She’d make you sit and watch, get so desperate you’d beg and cry for it. She had to do it to Patrick before— she would know just how to get you to the point she needed you at.

The tennis would be up to Art.

You were so wet, clenching around his finger, craving more. What the fuck would be the point in denying either of you any longer?

You whined when he moved his hand from you, but he wasn’t going to keep you waiting. He pinned you against the cold tile wall, lifting you up to where he needed. You smiled at him,wrapping your legs around his waist, coaxing him closer.

A shiver ran through you as his cock brushed over your folds— so close to where you needed him. His tip notched against your entrance and he pressed into you slowly, relishing in the way you held your breath, in the way your body opened up for him so eagerly.

He pressed his forehead against yours when he bottomed out, and you panted as you adjusted to him.

You were impatient. So fucking impatient. You rocked your hips against him, begging wordlessly for more. He leaned in, kissing you slowly.

“Art,” you gasped, pulling away from the kiss as he fucked into you, slow and deep. “Patrick told me that I should tell you that you’re supposed to fuck me, not make love to me.”

Of fucking course he did. “Is that what you want?”

You nodded, somehow looking so sweet split open on his cock. His hips met yours in a particularly harsh thrust and you cried out in surprise. You moaned so seeetly, your lips turned up in a smug grin. It was exactly what you wanted.

Your back slid against the slick tile wall as he drove into you again and again and again. Your cunt was so warm, and tight, and so fucking wet if squelched obscenely with each thrust.

Wet kisses were peppered along his jaw and throat along with soft murmured thank yous and praise.

“You’re so deep, Art,” you moaned into his ear. “Feels so good. Thank you, thank you.”

It had been a week since Tashi and Patrick were home. A week of having to find satisfaction with Patrick’s fucking lewd Snapchat videos and his hand.

And here you were— a sweet, tight, Tashi-approved plaything. Your manicured nails rubbing at your clit, your pussy clamping around his cock as you drew closer and closer to the edge.

What better foreplay was there than tennis?

You came first, which was a fucking Godsend. He had no doubt Tashi would’ve flayed him if she found out that he couldn’t even manage to get his new toy off before he did. Loud— not caring if anyone heard.

Tashi would train that out of you too, lest you get them banned from every fucking country club in the state. Or a TMZ article whispering about a tawdry affair.

He shut you up with a hungry, searing kiss. Tongue moving against yours, muffling your cries. He came buried as deep as he could possibly get, with his tongue shoved down your throat and his grip bruising your soft thighs.

The water had gone icy when you both detached from each other, finally taking the actual shower you needed. You happily shared a shower head since you’d wasted enough water as is.

You redressed, tied up your wet hair, and sat on a bench, tapping away at your phone while he did his best to look presentable, and not like he’d just fucked the athlete he was supposed to be coaching.

“Tashi and Patrick say hi,” you said casually, offering a killer smile.

Maybe retirement wasn’t that bad.

NEED to be the toxic triplets’ little plaything im clawing at the padded walls of my enclosure

Anywayssss feel free to send more blurb reqs 🩷

[cheriladycl01]

My love, is mine all mine - Max Verstappen x Norris! Reader x Charles Leclerc Part 6

Plot: Norris' Twin sister is also a driver in the 2021 line up and is in her rookie era. Not only do the commentators struggle to now talk about the pair in the race, but they also struggle to talk about talent. What happens when two drivers find her eye-catching.

A/N: I've brought Luisia into things because of the timeline and it being 2021. Don't hate on her, or the fact that i've brought her into my writing please!

After the shit show of a party, you woke up earlier than everyone else and left the docked boat. You caught the earliest flight back to the UK. You were so pissed with your friends and brother that they’d just up and left you in the club.

The whole flight home, you pondered whether you just really needed to grow up about ever situation in your life.

Lando and the clubbing group leaving you? They were drunk and probably saw you with loads of other people and assumed you were safe and good.

Charles admitting his feelings for you? You arguably needed to focus more on your career that you’d worked so hard for, you didn’t have time for boys and if Charlie really did care for you like he said, he would understand.

Max sleeping or dating your best friend? Good for him, he should be happy.

You needed to not be bitter about all of these minor blips in your life and just get on with it.

Little did you know that this would create a version of you so far from her normal bubbly self that even people who hadn’t spoken to you in years would be able to tell something wasn’t right with you.

Max and Charles had both tried to contact you through texts and phone calls all which had been ignored, you knew it was for the best to just let it all go and leave it at a what could have been. You had responsibilities far greater that you needed to focus on.

When it came to after the summer having left your brother and gone travelling on your own, updating your Instagram and family group chat whenever you managed to get wifi, you were back and raring to go for your home race.

Lando had sent a text to the family group chat asking who would be coming. He wanted to invite Luisa and only had two passes to give out. So that would mean one for Luisa and one for his dad.

Lando - Can you give your paddock passes to mum and Flo, Cisca can’t make it because of Uni

Y/N - Kinda awkward i had someone in mind i wanted to bring :(

Lando - come on its mum and your little sister Y/N don’t be rude and give up your pass to some random dude you met in Bali …

You ignored it, before going to McLaren and begging Zac for a spare paddock pass. You gave your original 2 to your mum and Flo, but your next one went to Nathan Bishop, he was a goalkeeper for Manchester United and you’d met him on a trip you’d been doing in Bali and he immediately knew who you were and you guys got talking and one thing led to another and you were inviting each other to your sports.

In the time you’d travelled he’d became a really good friend and you didn’t feel as lonely as you had since starting in F1. It was really refreshing.

You met him before, driving him to the paddock in your McLaren and pulling up into the Silverstone car park together.

“Thanks for the pass, I’ve never been to a race before so this is actually really exciting for me” he smiles waiting as you grab your bag from the back seat.

“Always welcome!” You grinned back.

“Mmmm and I’m excited to see if you are really as good as you say you are!” He teases elbowing you as you swipe your pass through the paddock scanners.

“Hey! I am a good driver! I got you here safely didn’t I?” You smile and he just nods, you point out various bits of the paddock talking about all the hustle and bustle and all the different teams and the workers running around fitting last minute bits to the motorhomes.

“Oh come on! We need to get you some McLaren team merch!” You grin pulling him to the quiet fan zone thanks to the early time it was and going to the merch stool.

“Hiya! Oh Y/N! How are you?” The worker smiles noticing it’s you.

“Hey! I’m really good! How are you? It’s hot today, make sure you drink lots of water! Radio through and ask for top ups yeah? And don’t forget sun cream!” You chide knowing sometimes the workers forget that they are humans and will push themselves till breaking point!

“Thank you! Really and I’m all good” she says flashing you the large icy bottle of water she had behind the stand with her. “What can I get for you?”

“Any chance we can get the Y/N number hat?” You grin turning to look at Nathan who just rolls his eyes but can’t help the smile that comes into his face.

“Sure! We have lots on stock today, as you know it’s home race! Good luck by the way! I know you’ll do great!” She smiles and hands you the number 42 on the baseball cap. You place it on Nathan’s head who just laughs at your antics but keeps that hat on before paying the lady for it in cash.

“Hey! I was gonna pay for it! I’m the one that got you to buy merch!” You exclaim in horror.

“Mmmm but it’s my hat … so I should pay for it!” He explains with a cat like grin.

“Argh fine come on! I want to show you round the garage and do track walk with you!” You say gently taking his hand and pulling him through the growing numbers of people in the paddock.

You showed him all around the garage and even let him sit in your car which he was really impressed with how low to the ground it felt, and how much the halo restricted vision. After showing him the pit wall and all of the engineers working and running around before free practice you took him out onto the track to do a walk.

The sun wasn’t as harsh anymore and it had started to cloud over a little bit meaning that the track walk wasn’t as strenuous as you anticipated it would be.

You guys walked around talking about the season so far and how it felt being a rookie along with Yuki Tsunoda.

Afterwards it was time for you to have a team meeting and you didn’t want to leave Nathan on his own so you walked him to the hospitality suite to find your parents.

“Mum Dad! Hey this is Nathan! Can you just watch out for him while I’m in the car please!” You ask kindly showing Nathan to a seat with your family.

“Of course sweetheart! Hi Nathan, I’m Adam, this is my wife Cisca” he introduces standing up slightly and leaning forward to shake the younger gentleman’s hand.

“You gonna be okay?” You ask, unsure if you should just bring him to the garage and find him a seat and headphones and leave him there.

“Yeah - I’ll be” he starts only for commotion behind to stop his words.

“Sorry, I’m running late. Oh … whose this?” Lando asks looking over to Nathan, someone he didn’t think would be around his family.

“This is your sisters guest, hence the hat” your mum explained pointing to the hat still on Nathans head.

“Right … yeah I just came here to drop Luisa off. Please look after her and … you know don’t be weird” he begs as Luisa starts to talk to both Flo and Nathan.

“We’re never weird! Now you both have to go get ready!” your dad grins forcing you both away.

You start to walk together to the garage in an awkward silence until Lando breaks it.

“So you brought a boyfriend with you?” Lando scoffs looking towards you.

“And what if I did?” What’s it to you, you brought Luisa!” You say looking to him confused why it was such an issue you’d brought a guy (who wasn’t anything to do with you romantically).

“Because your playing with a lot of hearts here Y/N and it’s not exactly fair. First Charles, then Max, then Charles again and then Max and now this guy? Max and Charles are my friends Y/N and I can’t help but feel like your going to go one step too far and ruin all of this …” he complains and for a second your stunned into silence not knowing what to even say.

“How am I toying with Max and Charles when Max is off with my best friend and Charles … is so hot headed that I don’t know if I can take the heat of him yelling at me for an overtake every race weekend! So how am I the one playing with hearts when it’s feels like mines the only one being toyed with, even by my own fucking brother!” You cried out frustrated with him, but that was Lando. He always spoke before he thought about what he was saying. Both a blessing and a curse.

You started to hurry off no longer wanting to entertain this conversation.

“Y/N wait … I didn’t mean it like that” Lando admits speeding up after you and walking in step with you trying to slow you down.

“We have a meeting to get to. Let’s not waste anymore time” you say coldly, so coldly it actually caused Lando to shiver as he never had heard that tone of voice or anything remotely close come from you.

Briefing for what it was, was pretty boring only talking about the upgrades they’d brought to this weeks Grand Prix. Lando had the full package and you had half, the others to come next week in Hungary.

You were in the garage after changing into your fireproofs, your race suit hanging down off your hips talking to your engineer about strategy for Silverstone, but it was always changeable depending on the track temp and the weather.

FP1 clearly showed Landos new flashy upgrades and how much quicker it made the car placing him in P2 in between Max and Lewis, the two battling it out for the championship this year.

As for you down in 9th you’d just been testing the track and were on different tyres to the top few people, wanting to test out the hards.

As the weekend progressed and the less you concentrated on all of yours issues and just had fun while concentrating on the race weekend you got better. Ending up starting in a decent P6 for the race and getting points in the Sprint that was held earlier on in the day.

“Okay Y/N, it’s looking like Plan B. Reports of rain on the radar for the last half of the race” your engineer says as you pull up into your P6 stop, next to Lando both your Orange McLarens locking out your row.

“Okay, do we have a pit plan?” You ask knowing you were on mediums in hopes they’d last long enough to get you onto Intermediates or Wet if it’s due to rain that badly.

“We’re checking now, looking into stuff with Lando too and seeing what the other teams and looking at doing, but looking like Pit Plan E”

“Yep, copied” he grit out unhappy that they are already prioritising your brother.

“Well Y/N let’s get racing for you first F1 home race! Lecelrc and Bottas in front of you and Lando, Alonso and Vettel behind you and both. And then Max and Hamilton front row” he explains, you knew you had to get a good start to overtake your brother and possibly Charles if there was an opening so as you were driving round the formation lap, you cleared your mind of everything but racing.

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @daemyratwst @lauralarsen @the-untamed-soul l @thewulf @itsjustkhaos @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @summissss @gulphulp @starfusionsworld @jspitwall l @sierruhhhh @georgeparisole @youcannotcancelquidditch @tallbrownhairsarcastic @ourteenagetragedy @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @dark-night-sky-99 @i-wish-this-was-me @tallrock35 @butterfly-lover @barnestatic @landossainz @darleneslane @barcelonaloverf1life @r0nnsblog @ilove-tswizzle @laneyspaulding19 @malynn @viennakarma @landosgirlxoxo @marie0v @yourbane @teamnovalak @nikfigueiredo @fionaschicken @0picels0 @tinydeskwriter @ironmaiden1313 @splaterparty0-0 @formula1mount

[myobsessionsspace]

Hi! I hope you dont mind this. I recently was informing myself more about bts and their past experiences, and i’m very probably wrong but i noticed how a lot of members (all of them, actually) have talked about and showed more or less some struggles, such as jimin, or v when he looked really numb and lost during official events, or yoongi, except for jungkook (and maybe jin?).

Except for that time when yoongi told us he sent jungkook a message saying he loved him (which makes me believe jungkook was going through a hard time), or others “small” episodes, jungkook himself never expressed a specific period of time where he was struggling for whatever reason, and it shocked me to hear him saying in ays that he doesn’t feel like writing his own songs because he doesn’t have much to say. To me it looks like he maybe downplays/avoids talking about his own hard feelings and times, despite probably being one of the members who struggles and struggled the most (his unreleased song being a good example, in my opinion), but i still came here to get another point of view because i feel wrong for being so introspective and making psychoanalyses about him. Maybe my curiosity is having the best of me and that’s all this is about🙏. But really, the way he can go through the most gut wrenching moments and still smile on stage or lives makes this whole thing really interesting to me and it’s more of an appreciation and empathetic thing than anything else.

We saw him saying he doesn’t think he really has a worth, saying he’s not good at everything and has a lot of flaws, we saw him sad during last year’s lives on weverse, but i can’t find anything where he really shared something regarding his own sad and depressed feelings, despite him being such a sensitive individual and being… human, which means he definitely has had hard times.

Do you think there was a specific year/time when jungkook looked sad or different from the cheerful and happy jk we know, and what’s your opinion on him not really sharing it? I hope again my question doesn’t sound inappropriate or rude in any way, i don’t want this to come off as invasive or wanting in any way to force jungkook to express his personal struggles. And really, excuse me if i just missed content and i’m asking things i could easily find myself. I appreciate you so much.

Hi Lovely!

Thank you so much for this ask! It’s sooo juicy 😍

I’ve been mulling over it for a while because it’s something that I could talk about without ever stopping. It’s an ask that could allow me to get into the evolution of Jungkook from trainee days to now, you know.

It’s an ask that I could talk about and ‘compare’ (I hate that though, comparing people 🙈) the members and their different approaches to music when it comes to their group and solo work and how theirs to has evolved.

I’m not gonna lie I felt a bit defensive for Jungkook during his solo era. Something the fandom loves to do is ‘ours are better than yours’ with others, even within their own members, they like to be like ‘our group has the most song writing credits’ which leads to comparison with other groups, which leads to comparisons within the group and members solos etc.

When Jungkook’s turn came around I feel like there was a lot of expectation. I can only imagine what Jungkook himself felt.

Jungkook & Songwriting

‘and it shocked me to hear him saying in ays that he doesn’t feel like writing his own songs because he doesn’t have much to say.’

To this point I think it shows what I’m saying, the expectation and comparison. I think because BTS have always been lauded as involved in their music, because it was something that wasn’t really the standard to kpop for their generation and those before, there’s always kind of been an expectation of them? But I don’t know if it’s because JK is one of my biases, but I feel like he was more ‘vilified’ for an album comprised of songs written by others and solely in English

The thing is though BTS do and have had much more creative control than a lot of kpop groups of their generation and the generations before, it’s not as straightforward as that. I don’t want to diminish anyone’s contribution or years of work, but it would be worth noting how one can get a songwriting credit. The rap line write their own bars, so for any song rap line have a rap verse, that’s an automatic songwriting credit.

Within a song making process there can be so many hands involved and points where tweaks are made, sometimes people can all get together and think tank the creation of the song lyrics, leading to the core group of writers, then through the recording process when tweaks are made more songwriting credits get added etc.

Or someone could write a song and due to the song being their baby not allow for many changes made apart from maybe by one producer, leading to only one or two song writing credits vs 7 song writing credits on one song.

Jungkook’s solo & group contributions

Each song would have a story behind it as to the level of contribution from JK (and other members) but it wouldn’t change the fact that he’d be entitled to a songwriting credit. For example ‘Dreamers’ was a song already done and sent to him for recording, but through tweaks made in the recording process Jungkook earned a songwriting credit.

Songs for ARMY

Whereas we know songs like ‘Still With You’ ‘My You’ were Jungkook’s babies and songs with only credits for Jungkook and the producer.

Isn’t it interesting the songs that Jungkook has the most involvement, if not primary involvement, are the songs about ARMY?

Jungkook has said that he like Jin, don’t hold on to negative emotions. They deal and move on.

However it seems like there’s one emotion that’s always remained constant and true to Jungkook, his love for army. I mean this man was so confident in this that he tattooed ARMY. He grew up with army, they supported his career and cheered him on, he’s said it’s because of being in the group and the group being successful that he’s been able to experience things such as the travels and activities in shows for army and the delights 🥴 of twinkies.

Not only is it easy for Jungkook to speak to army via lives etc it’s easy for him to speak to army via songs. It’s not a feeling he wants to process and move on from.

A Dramatic Shift?

‘and it shocked me to hear him saying in ays that he doesn’t feel like writing his own songs because he doesn’t have much to say.’

Is that all he said?

Where Jungkook talks about wanting to focus on displaying his vocals and focusing on different songs to display them rather than focusing on songwriting

I think I again maybe it’s a combination of comparison and expectations?

He has spoken before of his wish to try singing different stories not his own

If you don’t do anything at all, please have a look at this post and watch the live & video in it, if you want some understanding about Jungkook from Jungkook himself.

Thoughts for Another Time

‘Except for that time when yoongi told us he sent jungkook a message saying he loved him (which makes me believe jungkook was going through a hard time)’

I actually have a whole separate theory about this moment right here. I’ve talked about it with others in the past. It’s something that would need a whole separate post to get into.

Do We Delve Too Deep?

‘i feel wrong for being so introspective and making psychoanalyses about him’

I think it’s the human condition to want to understand. I think it’s not an issue when you want to understand someone, someone that interests you, someone that brings you joy with their person and their talents. I think where you, myself and others have to be careful, is when we go from wanting to just understand someone to judging someone. Being disappointed in them for not living up to our expectations. When we thought we sussed them out and they don’t follow the path we thought made sense based on their past actions and our understanding of them.

With Jungkook, because we are not privy to the inner workings of of his mind, his emotions, his motivations, his day to day, it’s not fair to him as a human to be disappointed when he doesn’t do what we expect based on what he’s done in the past, based on what his members have done, based on what his fans expected.

It’s ok, I think, to sit and think on topics like this but I don’t think it’s ok to then project feelings onto someone because of it. They are our feelings and we need to understand why and then figure out what good they do to hold onto them? What it means going forward if those feeling hold value to us, do we still support, follow, invest or do we adjust our thinking or involvement? That’s what we have control over.

The kind of person Jungkook is

I’d like to preface this by saying I am one person on the internet. Same as anyone else, with no more or less access to him than the majority of us. The same media I consume is what is available to us all. His lives, his interviews, his songs, festas, memories, bombs, episodes, shows, documentaries etc.

All my inferences are from these, not Jungkoook himself, not a company insider, not a friend of a friend of the members, a sister of one of the members siblings friends 🤡 my opinion and opinion only 😅.

He is who he is. He says what he says. Even the members at times feel like they want to dig soul bearing emotions out of him

They’ve been saying for years

When is Too Much, Too Much?

‘Do you think there was a specific year/time when jungkook looked sad or different from the cheerful and happy jk we know’

I don’t think looking to the past and nitpicking, microanalysing etc to point out where he looked the most miserable etc would do good to anyone. Being there in the moment, if we were, we would be trying to show him our love and support, empathising, seeing it to make ourselves not feel as alone, to see him as human etc.

For me to do that now for no reason as to just point out that…he’s…human? Well I think we should already know that. I do think Jungkook really was vulnerable and as open as he could be as an idol with millions of viewers during his lives of 2023.

That, I think, was one of the biggest windows into Jungkook the person, more as who his is now, the adult and not who he was when he was 19, 22, 24 etc. There were so many nuggets that could easily have been missed amongst the fun of the karaokes and cooking and eating etc.

I would advise you or anyone to, whenever you have free time, just pop in one of his lives, start from Feb and work your way through whenever you have a free moment (I know you said you have been 💜).

‘We saw him saying he doesn’t think he really has a worth, saying he’s not good at everything and has a lot of flaws, we saw him sad during last year’s lives on weverse, but i can’t find anything where he really shared something regarding his own sad and depressed feelings, despite him being such a sensitive individual and being… human, which means he definitely has had hard times.’

The thing is with this, in my opinion...when have any of the members been completely and utterly specific? We get little sentences or conversations here and there where we can refer to, but if it’s one thing I’ve come to realise about BTS is that they are good at letting us in without really letting us in. The hardships they have shared tbh can be generalised to each of them, struggling with idol body image, tough schedules, dance routines, being in their heads. Yes some members have spoken about their mental health struggles more than others (Namjoon & Yoongi), they’re not learning dance routines as quick as others or being confident with their dance (Namjoon & Jin).

But they’ve also all talked sometimes as a group of struggles, general to the group as a whole. I think if Jungkook didn’t share their sentiments, he would have said he didn’t?

Did we really know that they were on the verge of splitting until they said so on stage and then afterwards. We know of the few fights they tell us about and then those are the only ones they refer to for years after, and we can count them in one hand, vmin dumpling fight, namgi throwing laundry fight, hopekook and banana fight…?

When watching something like their last Festa Dinner, where the others talked, shared, poured out, like it’s been said in the past, when his hyung hurt is when he hurts. Maybe it is that he didn’t/doesn’t struggle with the same things that the other members struggled/struggle with. Being a trainee and an idol is all he’s ever known being with his hyungs, his friends, family, working, travelling, enjoying good food and good drink is Jungkook. Namjoon (David Quinones and producer Tony Esterly) writing a song like ‘Begin’ to capture Jungkook’s essence?

Source: Doolset Bangtan

We know that Jungkook started trainee life in 2010? Born in 1997, ignoring Korean age system he’d have been around 13? I think we can guess the general kind of hardships pre 13.

Then once trainee life started we’ve heard him talk about having to learn to share, having to learn to dance and sing plus schooling where he probably had people either teasing him for thinking his was ‘a hotshot’ or wanting to be his friend because he was a trainee then a famous idol or constantly filming him, picturing him and gossiping about him? Away from home, constantly aching and exhausted, not knowing if he’d make it.

He has done vlogs where he talks about seeing his parents after a long time and how happy he was, he’s shown how happy he was to celebrate his graduation with his hyung and more interested in hanging out with them, than celebrating with his fellow schoolers. He’s talked with Jimin in a live about how after dance training he found a new passion and considered giving up being in the group.

Blog of his time in The US getting extra dance training & Part 2

It seems like with Jungkook he is someone to focus on the good, instead of the misssing his family, he talks to fans about the happiness in reuniting, instead of the difficulties of schooling he talks about the gratitude in having his idol career be successful enough to not be concerned with not being the best at school etc.

So I’d say over the years he has with little sentences here and there talked about his hardships but they probably don’t stand out as much because he, maybe through conscious effort, tells it to fans when there’s a positive to take from it. Like you also noted: ‘still smile on stage or lives makes this whole thing really interesting to me and it’s more of an appreciation and empathetic thing than anything else.’

He Is Who He Is

I wrote this at a point when I wanted people to understand a bit more about Jungkook, yes it’s in relation to his bond with Jimin but mainly focuses on Jungkook’s personality

His MBTI

Introvert, introvert, introvert!

He’s taken his MTBI several times through the years and one thing that has always remained consistent was his introvertion. talking about others, talking about ARMY maybe comes more easily to him than talking, writing and singing about himself?

He himself takes stock in his MBTI and seems to feel it does reflect him.

Music Is His Love & Passion

when all the members got to design their rooms, this was Jungkook’s design. Music is his love & passion through and through

When you want to make Jungkook happy, give him a karaoke mic and leave him be.

Suchwita - Jungkook Karaoke Special

I don’t think we have to worry for a long long time about not getting new music from Jungkook, songs written by others, songs written by him, songs about others’ experiences and songs about his own, we gotta just

‘Let Him Kook’ TD;LR

Jungkook is as complex a human as any other member but more often than not, a typical introvert, one to live in the now and man of few words.

Vulnerable, raw Jungkook. Listening to the song made by ARMY for BTS after their pause in group activities. Jungkook feeling with ARMY on world tour. Jungkook with ARMY on white day.

Ask him to write a song about ARMY and he can give you 10 but ask him to release a body of work that reflects him through and through, the perfectionist that he is, the introvert that he is, the experiences he’s had that he’s moved on from…as he said, there’s plenty of time for more from him in the future.

After his billboard number one’s for ‘Seven’ his debut solo single

He seems to not be someone to dwell on the sad and the hard but to deal with it and move on. He seems like someone who wants to share the good with people, not have people sad for him, in his songs he seems to want to reflect this hence his songwriting being more in that vein.

He like struggles like everyone else, has hardships like the others, has lows etc but his personality seems to not see the point in sharing to the extent some may want or get from the other members.

The reason we love each of them is BECAUSE they’re not the same, right? Right!

There is soo much more I could say (as one of my biases I could talk about him all day!) but tbh I needed to post this as is, because I was starting to obsess over this ask and letting it snowball🙈

Maybe we can come back to some points and tackle each separately one day. Thank you again lovely!

💜

[otherone12]

Backstage & Makeup

(the most uncreative title EVER, sorry.)

Gerard way x Drummer!Reader

->Masterlist

A/N: Hey!! I’ve been thinking about how to make a whole fic with a small scene I wrote a long ago. I imagine this in the Revenge era, but feel free to change it, btw, I hope you like it. Any ideas, just send them to me and I will write :D (i got another 5 fics plots that i'm working on, if school gets me some break i'll post this fics soon).

Summary: You’re MCR’s drummer, you and Gerard are dating and he's cute. (there's nothing more to say to describe this, just that he does your makeup).

- Word Count: 1.015

- Warnings: none ;)

- Ps: I'll not use y/n…

- Ps2: I'm brazilian, so english is not my first language ... sorry if i wrote something wrong.

___________________________________________

1st Person POV

Backstage is such a beautiful place, not because of the decoration, architecture or something like that, but the feeling of the need to get back on stage and make all those people experience a moment they won't forget. Being with my friends and laughing by nothing while we get dressed, this just makes backstage a special place. 

This time wasn’t different, except for the fact that now Gerard and I weren't just friends anymore. He never loses a chance to show how much he cares about me, giving unexpecting hugs, giving a lot of compliments and being the cutest person in this whole world.

This time was my turn to get out to buy some coffee for us. When I got back with the cups and distributed them among the five of us, Gerard was holding a little box. He looked at me with his shiny hazel eyes and an adorable smile.

- I got something for you. - He appeared to be extremely excited when he reached out to hand me the small box he was holding. - It’s not a special day, but I saw this and it instantly reminds me of you. 

I couldn’t help but smile ear to ear. Not because he buys me a gift, but because whatever it was, he thought of me. Without saying a thing, I opened the box and saw a silver necklace, with a pendant in my favorite color in the shape of a drop. It was a minimalist necklace and when I laid eyes on it, I decided that once I put it around my neck, I would never take it off.

I took a few seconds looking at that before saying something.

- Thanks, Gee! I love it!  - Excited, I threw myself into his arms and hugged him tight, careful not to spill the coffee all over us both. - Can you help me to…

I didn’t finish the sentence, and he fastened the necklace clasp around my neck.

- I’m glad you like it, sugar! 

Without turning around to face him, he laid his chin on my shoulder and kissed my neck, smoothly. 

After we all finished our coffees, it was time to get ready to get on stage. I grabbed my clothes and in less than ten minutes I was dressed with my black shirt and red tie. My hair was fixed, but not too much ‘cause I know it will get ruined after the first song we played. Now, the only thing missing was my make up. I looked to Gerard, and he was ready, somehow he does his make in like five fucking seconds.

Sitting in the chair in front of this god damn mirror, it was already the third time I tried to do my makeup, and just didn’t feel good enough to get on the stage. Gerard, by the other hand, was jumping around with the pre-show adrenaline, with his perfect eyeline and awesome eyeshadow.

- Can you help me with this, babe? - I sighed and said looking at him, with my eyeliner in hand.  

- With what? - He asked, moving to my way. - Are you okay?

- I'm fine, just my makeup… I don’t understand how you do it so easily.  

- Practice, I guess - He smiled, taking the eyeliner from my hand and getting closer to my body - Don't you already know how to do this?

- Yeah… but I want you to help me…. - I did my best puppy eyes and held his hips to get him even closer - Pretty please!

- Okay, babe, you don’t need to beg… - He chuckled; his smile turned a malicious grin on his face while he spoke the next sentence - at least, not now.

- shut up! 

laughing, I pushed him away, but not strong enough to make him back off, ‘cause it wasn’t the intention at all. Gerard sat on my lap and asked to open my eyes wide, so he could do my makeup. I tried not to blink, but I couldn't help, after some “sorrys” he finished this part of the makeup.

- Okay, now, close your eyes 

His soft voice reached my ears slowly and I obeyed. Waiting for the sensation of the brush on my eyelid, I get surprised when the only thing I felt was his warm lips pressed on mine, kindly. His cold hands touched my cheek and my neck, making me shiver while his lips remained glued to mine. 

Gerard pulled up, and I opened my eyes with a tiny smile on my face. 

- I thought I told you to close your eyes. - He tried to stay serious, but he wasn’t good at that - Didn’t i?

- Sorry - I immediately closed my eyes again, feeling now the brush. - I was hoping for another kiss… 

- If you play everything right in the show tonight, i’ll give you another kiss - His tone was soft as the brush on my eyelid, which was getting red with the makeup - And i know you will, you always do, sugar… aaand done!

Finally, he placed a kiss on my forehead and looked at my face, admiring the incredibly good job he did. Now, I was ready to get on stage with the guys, but I wanted to stay there with Gee a bit more.

- I don’t know if I can wait ‘till the show ends to kiss you again…

I tried to act the best way I could, pretending that I was about to cry or something like that. In answer to this,  he shook his head in some fake disappointment.

- You probably can’t. 

He sighed, looked deep in my eyes, then approached his face to mine. The tension in the room was getting strong, somehow, time got slow. The smell of coffee and cigarettes emanated from him, getting me tipsy and lost when my hands reached his hair, waiting to mess it all up. 

With our lips almost together again to this desired second kiss, he whispered:

- Maybe we could-

Before Gerard could finish, Frank hit the door and shouted as it opened, without waiting for permission to enter, he just said:

- Guys, it's time! You two can fuck after the show.

___________________________________________

~ This one was short, because i just had the makeup part in my mind, and didn't know how to start it. Lemme know if you like it!

[firesandthethuds]

Teddy Picker

Alex Turner x reader

Humbug era | fluff

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings: some swearing and the rest is just fluff

You and the guys were sitting in the tour bus after a show, all of you bored out of your minds. You tried playing some card games to pass the time with Jamie and Alex, but it only resulted in even more frustration.

Nick was sleeping on the couch across from you all, snoring loudly, earning a couple of annoyed sighs from the rest. Jamie nudged his arm, making him curse his mate under his breath.

"I wanna do something productive, I don't wanna sit around here like a sloth all night." you yawned.

"That's a new quote from you I'll keep in mind." Alex laughed at his own joke, while you rolled you eyes.

"Oh you lot, me and Jamie saw an arcade round ‘ere yesterday, we could go there, since we have fuck all to do." Matt mentioned, making your face light up.

You and Nick let out an excited "Yes!" at the same time, earning smiles from the rest of the band.

-

The bus wasn’t far from the arcade so you all decided to walk. When you arrived you, nick and jamie raced to the entrance, betting £5 each for the winner.

Jamie won earning groans from you and nick. “Want me money please”. Jamie said a shit eating grin spreading across his face.

“Nah mate you cheated”. Nick tutted, punching Jamie in the arm. “Yeah you little cheat cookie”. You scoffed turning around to look for Matt and Alex who were still a bit far behind.

“INNIT AL HE CHEATED”. You yelled from a distance so he could hear. He just put his hands up smiling as him and Matt continued to walk over to you lot.

“He didn’t cheat love, you’re just a sore loser”. Alex whispered in your ear when they finally got to you. You pushed him away and rolled your eyes, causing him to let out a laugh.

When you entered the place, you were welcomed with loads of games, such as claw machines, racing video games, a pool table and so many more. Your eyes sparkled at the sight of the whole place, making you look like a child seeing their presents on Christmas day.

From the corner of your eye you spotted a claw machine that had different coloured teddies and they were holding a red heart in their hand which said ‘I love you’ in white writing.

"Al can we please have a go on that?" you pouted at him doing your best puppy dog eyes. “Yeah of course love”. He smiled putting your hand in his and you walked over to the machine.

He gave you a pound coin, which you then placed in the coin slot. He smiled as you concentrated on moving the joystick to the chocolate brown teddy, which was placed near the edge of the glass. Alex then gently placed his hands on your waist, leaning his chin on your shoulder, his long hair brushing against your cheek.

“Think you need a goodluck kiss princess”. He grinned, you moved you face to the side slightly so he could kiss your cheek. “I want a proper kiss otherwise the luck won’t work”. He said grabbing your face, his lips gently pressing onto yours.

You pulled back looking into his eyes.“Hopefully that helps me win”. You giggled before turning back to face the machine, when you got the claw in the place you wanted.

You pressed the button, making the claw go down and grab the teddy, it kept getting closer and closer to the reward drop, despite the fact it being your first try the claw dropped the teddy into the reward section and you let out a squeal.

You bent down and grabbed the teddy from the slot showing it to Al. "Look, look! I got it!" You jumped into his arms with your new prized possession.

“Guess my special kiss worked”. He smirked putting you back down on the floor. “hmm yeah sure”. You muttered rolling your eyes.

You both begin to walk around the place seeing if anything else caught your eye. “so what you gonna name her”. Al said pointing at the bear.

“Umm maybe Bella, what do you think?”. You asked showing him the bear. “Yeah she looks like a Bella”. He replied, you hugged the bear tightly into your chest never wanting to let it go.

-

After walking around for a while you both spotted the boys, they were on these car racing games. “Oh my god Matt let me get on”. You spoke rushing over to the motorcycle game Matt was on.

He moved forward on the bike so you could get on the back, “Cookie help me up”. You asked him, he moved to your side so you could use his shoulder to get up.

Once you were on the back of the motorcycle you wrapped you hands around Matts waist. Alex then got on the one next to you both.

“You gotta bitch? where’s ya girlfriend?”. You said smirking at Alex. “Hello darling, you ridin with wrong man”. He replied putting a pound in the coin slot.

“ya reckon” you giggled, he laughed nodding a yes, Jamie then got on the back of Alex’s bike. “Got enough room there love?”. He jokingly said to Jamie. “Yeah want me to take me top off”. Jamie flirted twirling his hair.

You all then started playing, “COME ON MATT GO FASTER THERE GONNA WIN”. You shouted moving the bike to the side slightly, “Oi i’m trying y/n ya distracting me”. He tutted twisting the handles faster.

“Told ya love ya ridin with wrong man, we’re gonna wi-“. He got out before he crashed and big red ‘GAME OVER’ letters appeared on his screen.

You and Matt let out a loud laugh, as Alex’s face dropped in defeat. Him and Jamie got off the bike now watching you and Matt.

“Don’t know why your laughing love”. He said his hands finding there way to your sides and tickling them. “AL- s-stop please”. You giggled hitting his arms. “Al piss off will you mate we’re gonna win”. Matt groaned.

Alex stopped tickling you eventually eyes going to the screen in front of you. “YES MATT COME ON YESS”. You let out in victory.

You and Matt got off the bike and gave each other a high-five. “Yes y/n”. Matt Laughed picking you up and swinging you around.

“Alex stop sulking”. You pouted walking over to him and wrapping your arms around his waist. “I’m not” He spoke rolling his eyes.

-

After a while of walking around the place You and Matt both saw a dance machine at the same time, smiling widely. You grabbed Alex's hand and dragged him towards it.

"Al you should definitely do it." You giggled, “Y/n i’m not doing it”. He said with a serious face. “Come on, you’re always moving them hips on stage you’ll do good”. You winked pushing him towards the machine.

“Fine”. He huffed earning a grin from you. He put a £2 coin in to the machine and go onto the platform, him and matt decided on a song to do together and hit play.

-

"I swear to god Y/n, why did you make me do this..." Al sighed, while Matt was already showing off his dance moves, jamming to the song.

They were both tapping their feet on the arrows on the dancefloor, each of them focused on what they were doing. Alex was missing a lot of notes, since he couldn't get the hang of it, and you and Nick were trying hard not to burst into laughter at how bad he was.

“come on Al you got this”. Nick laughed nudging your arm because Alex was missing every note that was coming on the screen.

Matt, on the other side, was doing amazing, which made Jamie cheer for him, causing Alex to groan in frustration. “I can’t do it it’s going too fast”. He signed.

“Come on mate do it like me” Matt spoke his feet never missing a note, Alex just rolled his eyes trying to focus on the screen in front of him.

Matt was still doing very good until he accidentally slipped and fell on his back, causing him to lose the game. All of you laughed heartly, well, except for Matt, who was cursing each and all of you under his breath.

“Matt are you okay?” you got out before falling into a fit of laughter with the boys. “Fuck you all, fucking losers”. He groaned, finally joining in with the laughter.

A/N: This fic was heavily inspired by one of the view from… vids hope you enjoy. Also i’m going to make a taglist if you want to be added let me know x

[leo-dooley-lab-rats]

Elite Force’s Many Lost Opportunities

The thing that annoys me most about Elite Force is Elite Force could have been great to the Mighty Med characters and even the Lab Rats characters.

Let’s all be honest, Elite Force isn’t the best show in the world and a lot of it comes down to the writing of characters. I feel like the show had a lot of potential and maybe that’s why so many fans make so much fan content related to that era of the show. Seriously the amount Elite Force content v. rest of Mighty Med and Lab Rats is kind of amazing.

Today I wanted to take a closer look at Elite Force’s many missed story and character opportunities. I got the inspiration to make this due to this thread. These are thing I’ve been thinking about for a long time… but I think it’s kind of time to put it out there. Elite Force isn’t a bad idea, just bad execution.

Oliver, Kaz, and Skylar

I think the villains kids(Riker and Roman) and their evil father(Rodissius) is meant to parallel Douglas(during his evil days) and Krane. When we could have had Oliver seeing something of his mom in the main dad villain, Rodissius. We could have seen more of that arc with his evil mom. We could have had his mom show up. I will never not be bitter about that plot point never getting proper follow through.

We could have had Skylar relating to the main villain losing his powers instead of the show just giving her powers back. Like seriously, why didn’t Skylar have anything to say about villain and losing powers? She went through this. She had a whole ‘going evil’ due to getting her powers back arc and then having to lose them again. It was a huge part of her character and arc in Mighty Med, only to be forgotten in Elite Force. Seriously, why is the villain, Rodissius, so similar to Skylar if the writers weren’t going to do anything with it? Just why?

Kaz could have been the middle ground between the two being like “we need to put them down”. Kaz could still be mad about Mighty Med. We could have had moments of Skylar and Oliver bonding and comforting each other over the loss of Mighty Med. Just think about it.

We also could had Kaz and Oliver being bros learning powers with Skylar getting jealous to then becoming a mentor to them. Even Bree and Chase could mentor more like they did on the island.

Most of all, Elite Force needed to remember Kaz, Skylar, and Oliver are friends. Kaz and Oliver are ride-or-die best friends and might as well be brothers. Kaz is implied not be close with his parents or his siblings so Oliver is his family. Skylar doesn’t have family being part of a clone race and I honestly view Skylar as a sister to Kaz and Oliver or at very least her found family along with everyone else at Mighty Med.

Returning Mighty Med Characters

Even Alan could show up and be able to relate to villain. Part of Alan’s arc in Mighty Med was learning to accept being half-normie. Even Horace would be in the show somehow as a captive of villains. Like Roman and Rimer took Horace to heal their father and give him back his powers since at the wedding Horace was revealed to be Caduceo, the legendary healer of superheroes, to the world or something(that even ties the spinoff into Mighty Med).

Gus or Jordon would show up after Oliver, Kaz, and Skylar were on the news being apart of Elite Force. There could have been a story of their normie friends from school finding out about the superhero world and Skylar’s real name not being Connie Valentine.

Leo, Adam, and Other Lab Rats Characters

The show could have used Douglas better. Douglas used to be evil. The villain is an evil dad. There is something there even if it’s just a joke considering Douglas was evil dad and Krane was too to some extent. Why wasn’t that a joke in the show(like someone should have said “what’s with us and evil parental figures?”). Douglas could even talk to Oliver about his mom being evil. Douglas could relate to him and help Oliver come to terms with mom being evil and maybe give Oliver hope his mom could one day be redeemed.

Leo and Adam could have shown up. I understand actors and contracts, but the show could have mentioned the characters. The show seemed to miss Adam having Adam around with Bob’s return. I like Bob, but it felt like it should have been Adam there and not Bob. Again, like Bob but it always felt like the writers wanted Adam there instead. The show did clearly miss Leo too since AJ is basically a Leo Dooley stand-in.

There could have been a conversion between Donald, Chase, and Bree along lines of “why did you two allow AJ to stick around?” And they don’t know. Donald eventually nods and says “I think I do. He’s a bit like Leo. I miss him too, but remember he’s not Leo.” Or something like that. Even Kaz could remember Bree and Chase of Adam. There is something there that could be touched on.

I think Perry, Donald, Tasha, and Naomi were handled well, but I do still wish Adam or Leo showed up.

Chase and Bree

Chase got an arc of his girlfriend being evil and Bree wanting more powers. Chase and Bree could have an arc of being away from home/family for the first time and being homesick. The penthouse is basically like going off to college or boarding school when you think about it. The characters move away from home and live with kids their age in a dorm/apartment.

Chase could have had a real arc about interacting and being a person outside the comfort of his family/island. Bree could have had an arc of learning that she doesn’t need more powers(I still don’t like that storyline for Bree. It just feels like it comes out of nowhere and is excuse to give Bree more abilities without having to introduce them). Bree could have had a self acceptance storyline.

Mighty Med and Elite Force

The world and characters of Mighty Med when the show ended and Elite Force stated, it didn’t feel like an ending for the show like Lab Rats. That’s a problem a lot of fans of Mighty Med have. I loved both shows since their premiere. Mighty Med was just getting started and their characters were the same. There was so much more left to see of this world before Elite Force. Then Elite Force came and didn’t seem to understand or know much about Mighty Med. If you looks at the people who worked on Elite Force, it’s mostly people from Lab Rats with very few from Mighty Med.

I’ve said this for years, but Mighty Med needed one more season before Elite Force to wrap up their story. The sad thing is Might Med didn’t get that. We got Elite Force. As a fan of Mighty Med, I’ve always had so many problems with Elite Force. As a Lab Rats, I still don’t care for Elite Force. There was something missing in this spinoff and we all know it.

Conclusion

I am just seeing all we could have had and didn’t get. There are so many good ideas here but none of them were taken. The show could have been better.

Every time I sit down and watch Elite Force I get the impression there wasn’t a lot of passion behind it. There’s also a lot of cooks in the kitchen(just look at the credits) and that might explain the writing. The show just feels like a mess that no one really wanted to make.

[crazylittlejester]

You've been asked about Warriors a lot so how bout the other half of the duo?

What are your thoughts on Mask and Time, both as separate stages in his life, and also things that he maintained through his life?

I have so many thoughts about him oh my god

Here are some things about him and how I write him!:

I know a lot of people characterize Mask during the war as grouchy or snappy because he’s angry at the world and his circumstances, but I think the real reason he comes off that way is literally because he’s horrible at controlling his tone and his facial expressions. It’s just something he’s always struggled with.

To me, he isn’t the best at processing emotions either, and it took him a while to realize that he actually really cared about Captain Link, and he used to be awful at showing it because he literally didn’t know how. He had his little ways of showing him he loved him that the captain eventually picked up on, but for a good handful of months or so Mask had Link convinced he felt incredibly neutrally about him, if not disliked him entirely.

Navi leaving him was HARD. He felt really lost and ungrounded after that, and I headcanon he was pulled into the War of Eras pretty shortly after the end of the whole thing in Termina, so the captain overheard a lot of Mask’s crying and trying to cope with all that. Eventually Mask let him help, but he didn’t really trust the captain at first, and he was scared if he got too close to him, he’d leave.

There are so many things Mask picked up from Warriors during the war, he copied a lot of his mannerisms and expressions because Link was a safe person to him, and he wasn’t good at showing emotions on his face so he just copied the captain’s. This is where Time’s Eyebrow Of Disapproval comes from, he copied it from Warriors.

Time still struggles with his facial expressions and tone, but he has more of an understanding of how to control them now that he’s got almost forty years of life experience. He’s definitely not the best though, and he comes off a bit dry and flat sometimes, but Warriors is so used to it by now it doesn’t affect him at all.

Personality wise, I don’t think Time has changed at all since the war of eras, he’s still a little shit, he still likes pulling pranks, but because he comes off as so ‘stoic’ and serious due to his inability to always control his tone and expressions, people don’t expect him to be as silly goofy as he is

I think he gets overwhelmed and overstimulated fairly easily, and when he was younger had an awful time dealing with it because he didn’t know what to do, but Warriors helped him through the War of Eras figure out good ways to decompress and calm down. Now that he’s older and traveling with the group? He warns Warriors he’s leaving, grabs an axe, and goes and chops firewood. It’s very calming for him

My hot take for him is that I don’t think he really views himself as leader material. Like Time has sort of become the leader of the group because he’s the oldest, and he’s not bad at it at all, it just is not something that comes naturally to him and he worries sometimes.

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

In light of your John Wells post…I do think Ian and Mickey probably got the best ending out of the Gallaghers. They now have their own apartment and are moving forward in their marriage. The future looks bright for them. But the finale in general was underwhelming in a lot of ways imo.

But I’m curious, what would have been your ideal ending for all the Gallaghers? (Including Mickey since he is technically one by marriage now)

i mean, i do think that ian and mickey had the best endings out of all of the characters (including kev and v) and i loved their ending, there were just a few things that they did in the final season that i wasn’t entirely thrilled with?? like, i loved them in 11x12, but there were a few things i didn’t like overall:

their fight in 11x03, i just feel like they always show so much growth and then go right back to where they had been and resort to violence to solve conflict. i feel the same way with 10x08, they learn so much and grow and then bam- that happens. i get it wasn’t a huge deal and they were fine afterwards, but still.

the lack of communication. ok, this season has the most (HEALTHY) communicating that they do and they definitely grew and i’m happy for them, BUT, the whole iou thing and ian signing the lease without mickey’s knowledge (which i’m about to talk about) was just… ick. i think that, as you said, the future seems bright for them and i’m sure that by now, they have grown even more and i’m aware that they’re still at the beginning of their marriage here, but i just wish that we got more of them actually talking. this also applies for hall of shame because what the actual fuck was all of that??

ian renting the apartment on the west side. idk man, i like the husbands having an apartment and i’m glad that they finally live together without all of the gallagher’s/milkoviches, but mickey really doesn’t seem happy there and i wish that they both got a say. i think that it’s fine, like, i don’t really care, but i definitely wish they stayed in the south side (not in the gallagher house, just in an apartment there) and i can see them moving back once their lease is up, but i did like how they talked about it eventually so i guess i was fine with that.

ian checking other guys out. this isn’t ian slander because he’s my favorite (mickey’s my third favorite character, i love them both), but he has a history with infidelity (a lot of this was because of the hypersexuality from his bipolar, i’m aware. but he also did it when he was stable and on meds so idk) and it’s just kind of another instance where i think that they show growth then go back, i wish that they hadn’t added that because i don’t necessarily think it’s “out of character”, but i think it was unnecessary and a lame thing to add.

there’s a few more things but that’s really it. overall i didn’t dislike their endings at all, i was very satisfied and thankful that they both ended up married, happy, and free, but i think that there were scenes that we needed but didn’t get (for example, both of the deleted 11x04 scenes, especially the one in the kitchen where they ACTUALLY communicate), and i think that there were a lot of things that we didn’t need but got. i love the husbands era and i always will, but john wells’ writing was really lacking in season eleven.

[therecordconnection]

Ranting and Raving: "Video!" by Jeff Lynne

There is no such thing as the “Cult Classic” anymore. Today, if a movie fails or a television series flops, it’s just removed and completely forgotten without a second thought. With physical releases no longer having the same cultural weight as before, it makes media preservation even harder. I hear if you complain long enough about this and get caught, Netlfix or Hulu or Pooblo or Tuubah or whatever else comes to your house and hits you with the Neuralyzer from Men in Black so you’ll shut up.

In the eighties, this wasn’t the case. Movies could brick at the box office, but they might get lucky and find their audiences later on through cable or video rentals or just really good word of mouth. Xanadu still exists today and has love because HBO kept showing it during its infancy and LGBTQ audiences eventually latched onto it (though that’s probably more due to the everlasting power of Olivia Newton-John’s gay fanbase). Phantom of the Paradise owes its continued love and existence to Guillermo Del Toro, the Daft Punk robots, and all of Winnipeg, Canada really loving that movie. I’m with them in that boat (Phantom is one of my favorite movies). Electric Dreams, a 1984 science fiction-tinged romantic comedy, exists today purely through video rentals and good word of mouth.

Electric Dreams is a wonderfully weird cult classic in every sense of the word. It has a very lovably goofy eighties rom-com setup and delivery: Miles Harding (Lenny Von Dohlen), a loser tech nerd geologist who gets no bitches, falls in love with his new apartment neighbor Madeline Robistat (Virginia Madsen), a quirky and beautiful cellist. They're an unlikely pair in every conceivable way, but they fall for each other. The only problem is that Miles' fancy new supercomputer (who becomes sentient and later identifies himself as “Edgar”) would like to see Miles destroyed so that he can be with her instead. Edgar then does everything in his power to ruin Miles’ life and his chances to be with Madeline. Eventually, Edgar comes to accept the love between Miles and Madeline and they get their happily-ever-after. 

On paper, the whole thing probably sounded silly to a 1984 audience, which might be why nobody bothered to see it at the time, but Electric Dreams fucking rules. Von Dohlen and Madsen are great and have such an odd yet instantly lovable chemistry with each other that you can’t help but root for them (it helps that they were good friends instantly and remained that way until Van Dohlen passed away in 2022). Steve Barron, one of the great music video directors of the early MTV era (he’s responsible for Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean,” Toto’s “Africa” and “Rosanna,” and many more), brings that same music video storytelling style to this movie’s visuals. If this movie had done better upon release, it would’ve gotten everything Miami Vice’s directing style often gets credited for. The soundtrack is also really great! Giorgio Moroder did the movie’s theme with Human League frontman Phil Oakey as well as a killer score for it (only Moroder could find a way to expertly turn Bach’s “Minuet” into a duel between a cello and a computer. He couldn't get more eighties than that if he tried). There’s also a really neat Heaven 17 cut that sounds like a Crash Bandicoot level theme (“Chase Runner”), Culture Club right at the end of their relevance (“Love is Love” and “The Dream”), and Jeff Lynne from Electric Light Orchestra with arguably the two best songs in the movie. One of them, “Let It Run,” is awesome as hell, but “Video!” is the one we’re gonna talk about.

“Video!” appears at a pretty pivotal point in the movie. It soundtracks the montage of one of Miles and Madeline’s first proper dates, which involves sneaking away from a tour group to run around and play in Alcatraz (I’m serious). They’re also seen together at a carnival. Before this date, Miles tasks Edgar with finding a way to write music for Madeline. He intends to pass off whatever Edgar comes up with as his own work, hoping to impress her and make her fall in love with him. This is one of the main reasons Edgar wants Miles out of the picture. He knows he can make music with Madeline (he did it previously in “The Duel” scene, though Madeline thinks Miles is providing the music, not the computer) and fell in love with her by doing that. He is fully aware that Miles is trying to win her love with a lie. Once Edgar figures out how rhythm works, he figures out how melody is made by reviewing and absorbing the music playing in television commercials. “Video!” then starts playing proper once he’s got the basics down. For a computer with no previous songwriting experience, writing a Jeff Lynne composition is a pretty impressive feat!

Electric Dreams is not the first movie Lynne has contributed music to. There are two others. The first one was 1976’s All This and World War II, which is a movie which pairs all-star covers of Beatles songs and World War II footage. I’ve never seen it and I don’t think I need to. But you can hear Lynne, the most famous Beatles fanboy to ever live, do a fully symphonic version of “With a Little Help From My Friends” and “Nowhere Man.” It’s pretty cool. The other one was Xanadu, which is much more well known. Lynne provided five songs: “I’m Alive,” “The Fall,” “Don’t Walk Away,” “All Over the World,” and the title track with Olivia Newton-John. I think they’re all great. Xanadu totally works on its own as a great ELO EP if you want to forget there’s a movie attached.

This is all to say that Lynne was no stranger to giving songs to strange movies, even if he harbored regrets later on about doing that. He regretted Xanadu for a while, but made peace with it decades later (he re-recorded “Xanadu” in 2000 for the ELO compilation Flashback and he’s revived “All Over the World” for every ELO tour since 2017). I don’t know how he feels about Electric Dreams and at this point, he’s done so much in his career that I doubt he even remembers it. I think he should! I think “Video!” is a great song and I think he was a perfect fit for Electric Dreams. The entire soundtrack is dated as hell, but in a fun time-capsule kind of way. It represents the sound of what people in 1984 thought the future was going to sound like. Lynne had already spent time imagining the sounds of the future.

At the dawn of the eighties, Jeff Lynne had gotten tired of dealing with the big orchestras you hear on that great ELO run from 1976-1980. Orchestras started becoming a pain in the ass for him around the time when synthesizers and keyboards were getting some big technological boosts. New wave artists like Gary Numan, Kraftwerk, and the Human League were pushing synths and keyboard sounds into the mainstream and proving that the new technology could be used to make some wildly futuristic sounds. Lynne quickly learned that with a few fancy keyboards, you could start simulating strings and classical sounds, but in a new and exciting way. Suddenly, Lynne and ELO keyboardist Richard Tandy could keep the symphonic pop sounds the band had been making, but update the sound and take it into the future. Suddenly, the “Orchestra” part of the ELO name suddenly found itself obsolete and out of a job.

Dick Clark asked him about this choice on an American Bandstand appearance in 1986. Lynne responded, “Well, you know, I got fed up with using a big orchestra because they used to always be in a union and stuff like that and they used to put their equipment away while we were still recording. So I thought what we'll do is we'll use just ourselves and then we can work as long as we'd like and nobody would complain.”

So Lynne took advantage of all this new technology that was floating around and used it to craft the 1981 masterpiece, Time. That album is the best example of retrofuturism in music I can give. In Time, Lynne imagines a loose concept album about a guy who gets yoinked out of 1981 and flung into the year 2095. The entire album is full of songs where Lynne imagines a future that he would never live to see (I won’t either, unless I somehow make it to a full century of life). Hover cars, rides to the moon, robotic girlfriends (built by IBM) who can also serve as telephones, prison satellites, ivory towers, plastic flowers, and meteor showers as a common weather condition are all present in Lynne’s visions of the distant future. Most of his predictions feel like they’re coming out of science fiction magazines from when he was a child, but the album is more concerned with just letting his imagination run wild and wonder about how one would feel if they were flung far into the future where everyone they’ve ever loved is gone. The future presented in Time feels like daydreaming rather than any kind of cautionary tale or warning. I’ve never gotten the sense that Lynne thinks any of what’s in the album will actually come true. 

If Lynne got anything right, he somehow nailed the still-lingering nostalgic yearning to return to the eighties. Lynne’s narrator constantly laments that he’s stuck in 2095 and 1981 is name dropped in “Ticket to the Moon” and “The Way Life’s Meant to Be.” “Ticket to the Moon” even begins with what is now a variation of the only kind of Youtube comment you’ll find on any old song from the decade: “Remember the good old 1980s / When things were so uncomplicated / I wish I could go back there again / And everything could be the same.” He might as well have called himself “Nostradamus” when writing that one, because that line is going to keep feeling accurate to people until every child of the eighties and every vintage style eighties cosplayer on instagram is dead and in the ground. Lynne using the current year the album was made in had a real danger of seriously dating it, but Time has never sounded dated to me. It doesn’t sound like anything else from 1981 and it still doesn’t. Lynne blended all the old sounds and genres he loved and infused them with the new sounds of the day on that one and imagined a future that still sounds just as magical then as it does now. It took pop music a few years to catch up with what Lynne was doing on that one. Time is still a retro futuristic dream and he carried all the tech and sound effects that he was using on that album with him when he made “Video!” for Electric Dreams. ELO’s future was up in the air by 1984 (Lynne would dissolve the original band for good two years later) so he tackled “Video!” as a solo artist (literally, as no other ELO members are on this) and released it under his own name.  

I don’t know if Lynne’s predictions for 2095 will come true. The verdict is still out on that. But what I do know is that everything Lynne is describing in “Video!” is a reality that I’ve lived to see, though perhaps differently from anything Lynne could’ve imagined in 1984. We’ll get there.

In the context of Electric Dreams, “Video!”’s lyrics are all about the many things Edgar the computer can find out about the world in pre-internet cyberspace. He can watch it all, from rock n’ roll to old time movie scenes, and learn. He has no other choice: he can’t move from Miles’ desk and see it himself. Nothing in Lynne’s lyrics are dated except for one thing. He mentions that satellites “send their love from up above / Down to [his] VTR.” VTRs, which I believe is meant to be a reference to “Video Tape Recorder,” is an obsolete machine in 2024. It’s long been replaced by digital video, such as DVDs, Blu-Rays, and 4K. That’s the only specific reference he makes besides working in both the movie’s title and  the title of the Phil Oakey/Giorgio Moroder collab. “They beam across the sky / Together in Electric Dreams.” I imagine Lynne was probably told he had to work in the title somewhere. To his credit, it’s a pretty smooth title drop. Clumsier movie songs have done it much worse. 

Lynne sneaks in a few lyrics in the song that become ominous and foreshadowing if you’ve seen the movie more than once. The first two verses end ominously with the lines “The world is at my fingers / Under control” and “I’ll just stay here on my end / I’ll have it all.” Those lines foreshadow Edgar eventually using his supercomputer intellect to control other computer systems and mess with Miles’ life, from cutting off access to his credit cards and funds, to manipulating phone lines so Madeline can’t call Miles later in the movie for comfort when her cello has been broken in an accident (it gets caught in an elevator door and gets crushed). His whole motivation in the movie is that he “wants it all,” especially Madeline. Lynne later captures that ominousness with the absolute beast of a song “Let It Run,” but “Video!” is reserved for Lynne soundtracking the moment where Edgar stays inside and excitedly discovers the world at large and how to write pop music, while Miles simultaneously goes out and discovers the world at large with his lovely lady. 

Musically, “Video!” strikes a balance and finds a perfect blend of the mechanical and the human elements of music making. Lynne seemed to understand that more than some of the art-school new wavers that were ruling the US and the UK in the early eighties. The entire song is mechanical, but that makes sense given the in-universe explanation that a literal computer is making it. The rhythm is provided by a drum machine and everything else is synthesized and sequenced to hell and back. Even the fun sound effects throughout the song and during the middle instrumental bit are canned and not original to the song. There’s something that kinda sounds like a twangy guitar at the end of the verses and on the chorus, but that could just as easily be a keyboard making that sound. Lynne has made records where he’s played all instruments organically, but keyboards, sequencers, and machines not only suit the assignment, they’re necessary for the assignment.

The human elements are Jeff Lynne’s vocals and his always sharp sense of melody. Lynne’s never been the most mind blowing singer, but his vocals and melodies capture a magic and a warmth here that few of the survivors from his generation still making music in 1984 were capable of. He sings the song with that same sense of wonder that he has on Time. I love the melody of the verses and that chorus is so upbeat and happy and infectious. I love the way he slides into the chorus by holding out the word “on” before saying “video.” Oooooooon! It’s pop music at its most delightfully fun.

I’ve been surrounded by video my entire life, but Lynne makes it feel like it’s a brand new concept to me when I hear this song. I said that everything Lynne is describing in “Video!” is a reality that I’ve lived to see. That reality is Youtube. “The world is at my fingers” because I can more-or-less search for whatever I want (whether I actually find it is another story). The entire second verse can be used to describe someone discovering Youtube for the first time:

I see that rock and roll And all those old-time movies scenes They beam across the sky Together in electric dreams I'll just sit here on my end I'll have it all

Youtube, for all its numerous (numerous) flaws, allows me to be my own MTV VJ and watch scenes from my favorite movies with only a few mouse clicks. I can sit at my computer and watch videos in comfort (and while eating my dinner). Like Edgar, I have it all. Lynne sings that verse with completely sincere jubilance. The song is entirely mechanized, but the feelings presented in the song are not and they help provide a warmth and joy to the whole song that makes it sound like a dream. Lynne makes the concept of watching video sound like it’s the most exciting technical marvel you’ll ever see. He sells it like he’s Grover Cleveland lighting up the 1893 World Fair. It’s fantastic. Lynne isn’t even just fascinated by video, he’s fascinated by the entire process that helps bring it to life. That first verse takes the song from the hugeness of outer space and leads it to the small and insular space of a computer in an apartment without ever losing a step.

The satellites that search the night They twinkle like a star They send their love from up above Down to my VTR

Lynne sounds absolutely amazed by the technological wonders of 1984. He sings it with a child-like fascination that’s so lovably dorky. He sounds like Miles Harding does in the movie when he gets to talk to Madeline about architecture and his dream project during dinner. I was only ten years old when Youtube first arrived in December of 2005, so I essentially grew up with the rise of the internet and internet video creation. I imagine it must have been mind blowing to older people who were there to witness that boom. Maybe some of them were as excited as Lynne sounds on this song.

Nowadays, we take a lot of the modern technology around us for granted, but for Lynne in 1984, this was all exciting and new. That might be where the excitement and exuberance in the song stems from. Betamax and VHS had only existed for about a decade when Electric Dreams first came out, so people were only just getting started in terms of building up home video libraries and having video readily available to them. Camcorders were only starting to become a common commodity when Electric Dreams arrived, so I imagine people were going nuts and losing their minds that they could make home movies and shoot video of their own. Nowadays, technology has reached the point where the little bricks in our pockets (which are Edgar-level supercomputers of their own) can do almost anything, even film video anytime, anywhere. Now more than ever, the world really is at our fingers due to the way technology and social media keeps us interconnected.

“Video!” sees a continuation of Jeff Lynne’s interests in technology and the future that he was exploring on the Time album. Once again, his music is featured in a movie that’s weird, strange, and ridiculous, but also incredibly fun. “Video!” and Electric Dreams as a whole, is a beautiful little time capsule. It arrived during a time when the wonders of the future and technology was full of optimism and we were once again evaluating our relationship to tech as the world was continuing to undergo constant change. After Electric Dreams, Lynne would examine his own relationship with technology with the 1986 song “Calling America,” one of the last ELO singles before he went off to enjoy a second life as an in-demand producer for a while. He doesn’t sound as excited when he sings “Yeah, we’re living in a modern world” on that one. He doesn’t sound as excited about satellites on that one either, though that might have more to do with him being fully sick of ELO by that point and having to wrap up one last album before he can move on to other things.

Electric Dreams, both the movie and the soundtrack, aren’t as well remembered as Xanadu and I think that’s a shame. Electric Dreams is such a strange, beautiful, and moving love story. It’s the thinking man’s version of Spike Jonze’s Her (it’s also better than Her). The movie only played in theaters for a few short weeks before resigning to its fate as a strange movie you take a chance on when you’re wandering around the video store on a Friday night and you and your partner are looking for something interesting to watch. In hindsight, maybe a movie like Electric Dreams was just too strange to ever capture mainstream attention. 

But don’t feel bad for it! It’s lived and has found its share of people who love it, despite its initial failure. I’m one of them. Lenny Von Dohlen and Virginia Madsen are also in that boat. They loved working on it and had nothing but positive things to say about it. Madsen still considers it one of the best things she’s ever made and I agree with her. Cult classics like Electric Dreams find their audience. Sometimes it just takes a while.

I can tell you that Tumblr absolutely fucking LOVES this movie. If you do a search for “#electric dreams” you will find SO. MUCH. FANART for this movie in that tag. It’s not even funny. Tumblrinas L O V E making art of Edgar the computer. They love making art of him so much, you’d think he’s the protagonist of the movie, not Miles and Madeline. You’d also think Miles, Madeline, and Edgar are in a polycule with each other (hot take: polyamory would not have saved them). The fanart in that tag isn’t even that old either. People love this movie and they love him. (A shocking number of fanart posts depict Edgar hanging out with GLaDOs from Portal, HAL 9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey, and AM from the Harlan Ellison short story I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream. I have come to the conclusion that Tumblr really loves antagonistic machines).

Electric Dreams celebrates its fortieth anniversary this year (it came out on July 20th, 1984, so this post missed its birthday by eleven days). An unloved film in its time, but a lovably strange and beautifully sincere science fiction romance that remains a beloved cult classic to those who know about it. If you want to see the film for yourself, it’s on Youtube for free. I highly recommend it.

Jeff Lynne is also celebrating this year. At the time of this writing, he’s preparing to take his modern day version of Electric Light Orchestra on the road one more time before retiring for good (he’s calling it the Over and Out Tour, which I think is just a fantastic name). He’s definitely not going to play “Video!” but he’ll be playing every ELO banger in existence, of which there are many. If you’ve never seen the maestro present his music live, I highly recommend you catch him before it’s too late. I plan on going to one of the Philadelphia nights. It’s gonna be a lot of fun. 

“Video!” and Electric Dreams are snapshots of a simpler time that dared to get a little silly and dream about a possible future. Some of its ideas about where technology was headed and our relationship to that technology were hauntingly accurate, some of it is hilariously outdated. Lynne’s visions of video and where video technology ended up being incredibly accurate in all the best ways. Video madness came upon us like a trance in the dark and because of that madness and the internet that houses all that madness, a movie that went completely unnoticed forty years ago can still exist and float out there today, waiting to be found. It wants to share with you what the world looked like during an interesting crossroads in time and it wants to show you what people thought the future might look like. Electric Dreams wants you to know that the future is strange, but it’s also bright and love can be found in the strangest of places if you know where to look. Don’t worry. It’s all under control and it’s all on video.

Electric Dreams sends its love to you. Send some of yours back to it.

[the-moon-lullaby]

Hello! May I request Nath, Cas, Lys, Armin and maybe Kentin if you feel like it with Candy who was forced to do some "important ambitious" job (like lawyer or doctor) by her parents with high expectations even so she always dreamed about being book autohor? Thank you in advance! Also sorry if there are any errors in my english

 The HSL Boys reaction to Candy’s parents pressuring her to get a prestigious job

N/A : Okay so this post really took a while to write because I really struggle with it yet I tried something and I hope that you'll like it still !

info : it takes place at the end of UL except for Kentin where it's during HSL

𝙲𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚕 :

Castiel probably noticed that Candy wasn’t really enthusiastic about her degree but at the same time she was studying law/medicine so he thought this was normal 

(I mean from personal experiences and from what I’ve observed, at university it’s almost impossible to differentiate someone who doesn’t like their degree or someone that’s simply struggling with it. At some point everyone has their little burnout and mental breakdown era and it's almost part of the routine that it become ironically comical. And I don’t even want to imagine what it’s like when you’re studying medicine or law)

So when they all finally graduate from university (except if Candy’s studying medicine, then my girl still has a long way to go) he expected her to be happy about it because now she’ll be able to do her dream job 

At least he thought so but the he looks at her, she doesn't look happy at all 

It’s probably when Candy is a middle of a mental breakdown or an existential crisis (or both at the same time for more FUN) that she ends up telling him that this isn’t the job she wanted to do and it’s actually quite far from being her dream 

When she tells him she wants to be an author, he’s quite baffled because he really didn’t expect this 

I mean he knew Candy like to write and read, but she never really talked about making it her career 

He feels horrible because he wished he knew and it breaks his heart to see her so distressed 

He also angry at her parents because they’re the one that put her in this situation 

Afterwards he’ll try to find a solution at all cost 

Castiel is a very passionate person and it shows the best when it’s about his passion. Also, I think one of Castiel biggest fears is to live a life full of regret 

Therefore it really hurts him to see Candy so close to give up her dreams and he can see that it’s tormenting her

And he loves and cares about her a lot so he won’t let things get worse 

Giving up won’t be an option for Castiel (he’s a lot of things but certainly not a quitter) plus, since Crowstorm’s going pretty well, he has some ressources now

He’ll encourage her to take this year abroad with him to begin with and focus on her writing 

Since that he now knows that she wants to be an author and that he has some contacts, he might look up names in the book industry so he can share what he learned with Candy (and maybe give her some opportunities who knows ?) or he’ll tell her that he’d love to write what she reads if she allows him to (and that means a lot ‘cause as I said, he’s not much of a reader but for her, he can try to become a better one)

In the end, Castiel is very loyal and whatever’s her plans for the future, she can count on Castiel and is unfailing support

𝙻𝚢𝚜𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 :

Firstly, the long distance relationship makes it hard to communicate 

Also, when Candy comes to visit his at the farm or when he goes back in town occasionally, she seems to avoid talking about university 

He always thought it was because she didn’t want to think about stressful things

But one day, as graduation day was getting closer she couldn’t hold it in anymore and she ended up telling him about the situation 

Lysander listened to her diligently but he was very confused the whole time 

I think that if Candy’s a writer, it might have been one of the reason her and Lysander grew so close in the first place

Creative/Artistic interests really make people to connect with each other (and I think it’s beautiful) hence, I doubt that Candy and Lysander didn’t really talk about it together

Even before they started dating, Lysander probably asked her if he could read her works as he was curious and she let him 

And he liked it quite a lot (maybe a bit biased by love but that’s not gonna keep him from seeing talent)

But when she started university to study law/medicine, he thought that maybe it was because she didn’t see writing as something more than a hobby 

He’s can’t believe that her parents set her up like this 

Yes because for him, that’s clearly sabotage. How could they dismiss their daughter’s happiness like that ? 

However, Lysander can think of a few solutions already 

I mean what’s his is also Candy’s 

So he tell her that she’s more than welcome to come live on the farm as long as she wants to (even permanently) if she needs to get away from university 

He wouldn’t be the one to tell her « you should still finish that degree, it’ll open your doors for future jobs » because for him, there’s no point wasting time trying to « secure » a future for a job you have no interest in or no desire to pursue

To him, there’s no such thing as « prestigious » job and it’s nothing more than an superficial idea based on  traditional (and capitalistic) societal standards and that’s what he’ll tell Candy 

Overall, he’d encourage Candy to go after her dreams and with him by her side, he’ll certainly fill the lack of support from her parents because he’s determined to see her happy

𝙰𝚛𝚖𝚒𝚗 :

Armin doesn’t know much about being what it's like to be an author so when Candy tells him that’s the job she'd actually like to do he’d just be like « well do it then ? », not really making the connection between this dream and her actual studies 

Afterwards would have to tell her that she can’t because she’s studying to be a doctor or a lawyer and again he’d go « if you don’t want to do it, just don’t ? »

At this point Candy’s just « bitch be fucking for real »

However by saying that, he’s not trying to be a bitch or anything, I just think Armin has a very simple vision of things since he knows he’ll find support within in family for whatever he set his mind to (it may not included hacking governmental shit and then getting arrested in front of the whole high school, but I mean it’s not like Armin would do that, right ?)

Like he wants to be a game developper ? ‘Okay let’s do it’. He changed his mind and wants to do something else ? It’s still, ‘Okay, let’s do it’

He didn’t know Candy’s parents actually forced her to study law/medicine in order to become a lawyer/doctor and he’s honestly in disbelief 

He doesn’t get what her parents means by « prestigious job » and why they’re so pressed about her wanting to be an author. Like bro, they were certainly not the ones spending 5 years going through the ups and downs (and a lot of downs in these sectors so I’ve heard) of university and they also won’t  be the ones having to work for this « prestigious » work as they says for their whole life ???(WHY ARE THEY EVEN TALKING ABOUT IT FFS)

I feel like Armin would encourage her to do what she wants to do  without giving a shit about what her parents say

He has this philosophy that can basically be resumed as « doing whatever the hell occurs to him in the bloody moment » (it’s a little reference from the Haunting of Bly Manor but it’s accurate because if there’s one thing about this show, it’s that it teaches us that what really matters is to live in the moment and not for others. I am getting out of topic so I’ll just leave it here lol)

Like if she wants to finish her degree still, he’ll be like « okay sure » but know that he knows about your dream, he’ll try to find different way for you to achieve it

He’d make some researches to find ways to become an author and would find some platform for Candy to write on (yesss tech-boy)

He’d try to support her the best he can and would share her works on social medias and all (he’d also try to learn a bit more about the book industry ‘cause he doesn’t know anything about it. But that won’t stop him from basically being Candy’s manager even if she says he doesn’t need to do that much. He’s really invested lol)

He’s really supportive but he also view this as a kind of mission : she has to be an author ‘cause he won’t stand there watching her while the thought of giving up her dream is tormenting her 

𝙽𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚎𝚕 :

Oh dear, he’s completely disarmed when Candy tells him about not wanting to be a lawyer since he really thought that it was her dreams (she was studying this for almost the past 5 years so he assumed that she liked it you know)

He’s a bit relieved though because if his girlfriend wanted to be a lawyer, he’d be worried that his little slid-ups in life (is that an understatement ? I don’t think so. Everyone make mistakes right ?) would discredit or impact her

However when Candy tells him that it’s her parents that wanted her to become a lawyer (or a doctor), he starts to connect the dots

All these times when Candy told him that she felt like she was wasting her time and that uni was hellishly hard (relatable haha) in opposition to how her eyes lit up when she was talking about this idea she just had and that she wanted to write down

Yeah, if he hadn’t been caught up in this whole situation with the drug-deal/gang (whatever beemoov calls this), he would have noticed and perhaps he’d have been able to support her earlier

He feels guilty because he can only imagine how alone she must have felt for these 5 years and also, she kinda save him from such a fate 

I mean, guys, his father, before Nathaniel got emancipated, wanted him to go business school to be a CEO or whatever 

And Nathaniel did not wanted that nor did he wanted his life to be planned by his father 

and damn he succeed in that ‘cause I don’t think Francis (stinky bitch. Sorry I just feel the need to insult this man) really planned Nathaniel becoming a drug dealer so slay Nath (a win is a win y’all. Glad he didn’t actually make a career of it lol)

So, she doesn’t have to explain herself or anything, Nath just gets it 

Yet, he’s a bit confused about why she lets her parents decide her future when she basically did everything she could back in the days to prevent him from getting such a life 

So he’s a bit confused but don’t get me wrong, he’s grateful for Candy to have open his eyes on who he was and that he had the right to choose his own path (which apparently was drug-deal related. Sorry for that) so be sure that he’s more than glad to return the favour 

He’d have long conversations with Candy about it 

I feel like Nathaniel, at some point, might have want to become a detective novel writer (maybe in middle school or in the beginning of high school when he was still allowed to have dreams) so he knows one things or two about being an author since he already made some researches on the topic. Therefore, he’d share them with Candy 

Also, he’d propose her to read her works if she wants some feedback 

If Candy is scared to let everything down to do something completely different, Nathaniel will be here to tell her that at least she’s not alone in this situation and that they can go on this journey together (just to remind that he did a whole post-graduate degree in Literature to become a police officer, this will never not be funny to me)

In the end, no matter what, Nathaniel would encourage Candy to become an author just as she supported him so many times and he’d reassure by telling her that he’ll be her number 1 fan (this man god)

N/A : Okay so for Kentin it’s a bit different because I imagine the situation better in HSL’s settings (idk why but it doesn’t really matter anyway) so in this case Candy is not currently following a degree to be a lawyer or a doctor (and is not one either) but it’s the end of high school and her parents wants her to go to uni in that perspective :

𝙺𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗 :

Kentin can relate with Candy ‘cause his dad kinda wants him to join the army like he did 

Kentin’s dad basically wants his son to become another version of him and no, leave this boy alone pls (he’s too good to be like that)

So in this case, Candy and Kentin kinda share the same situation therefore I think they would both feel kinda stuck 

Its give them something to bond about (trauma-bond because of the fact they’re being controlled by the parents whose role should remain at being their kids support and not prosecutor. I feel like everyone in this game is traumatised one way or the other. Pls beemoov give them a break)

They would talk a lot about their dreams : Candy wants to be an author and share with the world her stories, Kentin wants to travel and be surrounded by animals (dogs more specifically. He’s a dog-person and I love that for him), both listening to the other with utter trust and attention as they’ve become each other confidant 

At some point, (I am not sure which one it would be but I would say it was Kentin since he really seemed to gain some maturity, especially after the whole Evan arc), but one of them just start to think « what if we actually go for it ? Like what if we just do it ?»

I mean they’ve been each other’s support for so long now (at least a few months), they know they can rely on each other. Therefore the idea of risking it all to pursue the life they’ve kept talking and dreaming about seem less scary than the though of waking up at 50 and wonder what could have been (my biggest fear really)

So when it comes to confront their parents about it, it would be this « I do it if you do it » vibe (out of topic but Kentin and Candy’s relationship is too sweet, even if I didn’t play it, it certainly has a special place in my heart)

They would end up telling their parents about their projects but it’s nothing like asking for approval. It’s more like their explaining them what they’re going to do and take it or leave it, no matter what we’re doing it

And we're done !

*Also I just want to add that, obviously, I have nothing against people pursuing studies to become a lawyer or a doctor (and I knows how hard this is so if you're doing that you have all my love & support <3) but it has to be a personal choice. It's only problematic when it was pressed upon you by someone else (especially parents)

[canichangemyblogname]

*grabs popcorn* why did you tag 'the writing did her so dirty' re: taylor kelly?

I finally found the words for this answer. For me, it has everything to do with the way she was written in 5A as if they were domesticating her, partially at the expense of what really made her an interesting character. I’d like to have seen her as that girl everyone loves to hate, but for the right reasons. “She’s a bitch.” Yes, and? “She hurt all these people.” Yes, and? Also… and this is just fan-canon, not something that I think the show would’ve (or could’ve) done, but pansexual Taylor in an established relationship with a woman is my absolute favorite 🫶.

Like… I hate to give buddie fans any points because most of them are committed to misrepresenting the point and a scene, but the whole “if Eddie were a girl, they’d have kissed already” held a bit of water during the Buck x Taylor era, but not because Buck and Eddie are queercoded, but because Buck x Taylor had the same vibe as “two people who met through work and only really have work in common, but dated anyway.” The two of them talked about their work lives more than any couple on the show. I feared that if either of them had a change of job, they’d cease to have anything to talk about, which *would* be the case for two people who are co-worker adjacent, but shouldn’t be the case for a couple. IMHO, Buck x Taylor wasn’t a result of Buck’s comp het, but societal comp het. They also—as I mentioned previously—seemed to stifle a bit of Taylor’s passionate, ambitious, career-above-everything characterization for a little bit there in 5A, and she kinda simply became Buck’s GF. There was a degree of domestication for her character there, and I hated that for her. 

Also… 911 honest opinion? I think Buck and Ali should have had a longer arc. 🫣 More on that below:

It really seemed like they had been narratively setting something up between Buck and Ali, given how the show paralleled Buck + Ali and Maddie + Chim with that one outro monologue about how sometimes the best things start with second chances. Because that monologue that introduced us to Buck x Ali had been all about “second chances,” I genuinely had assumed that she was coming back and that they’d work out their issues. Their relationship also felt narratively weighty because of *why* Buck chose to date her. He had a choice between old habits (re: Taylor Kelly) or making his happiness (re: the Buck Actually theme). They also chose an apartment together. Plus, their “break up” did not feel very final. Something about it felt unresolved.

Cast contracts permitting, if *I* had been on this project, I would have written Buck & Ali as tentatively working on their differences post-injury. When their relationship does end, I’d explore the concept that sometimes, genuinely liking one another—or love—is not enough (which I think would have been great to explore after the Daniel reveal, as love was not enough for a happy Buckley household). Ali & Buck may have progressed past health scares and job fears, but find themselves on two different paths in life (with her job and dreams taking her one way and his keeping him at the 118). Here we could also incorporate Buck’s Big Mistake™️ that we saw in his relationship with Taylor: keeping/hiding things from his partner and overcompensating for that out of guilt to keep the relationship. Maybe that something is family related (re: Daniel) or maybe job related (revisit old wounds that weren’t actually healed during the sniper arc, an emergency he expressly doesn’t tell Ali about for fear of her reaction). Hell, it could be Taylor-related (with Taylor, someone he has a previous dynamic with, “being Lucy” in this situation), if you really want, although I’m personally disinclined to taking this hypothetical story in that direction (mostly because I hate cheating arcs, but also because I think Buck and Taylor work better as friends).

I also think Buck could have still grown into the person he is now through this hypothetical of events instead of through shorter-term relationships.  Reasons I think this turn of events could have also worked for Buck’s growth:

We would still get Buck 3.0 seeking out therapy after being crushed, being dumped, and being assigned desk duty. Maddie points out that he’s not handling it well, and he takes it upon himself to do something about that, just like in canon. Maybe later in that season or early next, we find out that Ali had reached out, and Buck reaches back out to her following his conversation with Abby and some therapy, not wanting to leave things unsaid and knowing he hides his true feelings from people. Maybe he tells Ali about him wanting to work on himself and start again. This means that, yes, he’d spend season 3 single before getting back together in early season 4 to “try again” and “see where it goes.”

However, Buck will still be lonely at this time, now essentially having bought into the comp-het idea that part of the reason for our loneliness is not being partnered (just like in canon, but he’d be partnered instead of single during this). If work or a difference in life pulls Buck and Ali apart, we’d still get Buck dealing with this gaping loneliness. It’d be less of a “He hasn’t put himself out there since Abby” and more a “He’s in a relationship and still feels alone.” Maddie and Chim invite Josh to poker night not because of Buck’s “tragic singleness,” but because Ali couldn’t come (which means we still get everyone’s favorite Buck x Josh joke). The scene will lay the ground for the relationship issues he’ll run into in late 4B. Something like, “Buck never gets out of the house” or “He has a girlfriend, but no one would know,” while Josh tells him to be glad he’s got someone because it’s “rough out there” (all while still foreshadowing Josh’s later gay bashing that episode). And this hints at an element of compulsory heterosexuality to this scenario: Buck doesn’t just feel the need to make the relationship work because he wants to be there for people, but because he feels a need to be partnered. His parents are visiting and they’re always disappointed in him, but they’ve met Ali and they’re happy Buck’s partnered. So, he stays. He reads the love languages book (absolutely quackery of a theory, imho) for some ideas on relationship growth and making it work and he stays. He expresses that he really wants this relationship to be successful and meaningful (and that’s why he’s trying the self-help book), and he stays. But maybe we get the Buck equivalent of “my relationship feels like a performance.” Maybe Buck expresses some discomfort with what are essentially traditional aspects/dynamics of het relationships (something the 5 love languages is centered around). Things like, “I want to provide, but I also want to be taken care of.” We’ll also get a few scenes that suggest he and Ali don’t know each other well (like not knowing what to get each other for special occasions, and some conversations between Buck and Bobby). But, otherwise, Buck & Ali’s interactions with one another are sweet and romantic. He goes on a successful date with Ali instead of Monica. He also goes on a successful double-date with Monica x Albert, with Ali as his gf. Ali’s genuine affection for Buck really shines when Buck runs into his season 4 family issues, and she gets along with everyone in Buck’s life, including Maddie, Chim and Albert, and even his parents. Their personal lives will seem to go strong because it’s the way their work lives interfere with their personal lives that will drive the wedge between them. Red’s warning about being too consumed by the job and how hard this is to compete with swirl around in Buck’s head the whole relationship. Buck fears that much like Red, he’ll never be able to make it work.

Eventually, however, we would get Buck figuring out that he doesn’t have to stay with someone just to stay with someone. (“I’m not happy. And if this isn’t a healthy relationship, then maybe the best thing for me to do is be the one who leaves.”) So, in early 4B when issues he thought they’d worked through rise again and maybe Ali discovers that Buck’s keeping something from her (I’m leaning toward him purposefully keeping aspects of his job from her, like not telling her about the sniper [among other things], once more revealing how Buck puts other’s comfort above his personal life and happiness and again reinforcing the idea that Buck’s career is too “consuming” and too “dangerous” for some partners, but also revealing that he doesn’t trust Ali not to run again -> but this leads Ali to not trust that Buck won’t keep important things from her and also leads her to realize that he will ice her out of important parts of his life), Buck decides, “I do like you, but I don’t think this is going to work out.” He then spends all of season 5 single, and it would be cool to see a “I’m working on myself, I want to be single” storyline, which would factor well into his further self-improvement arc during the interim-Captain storyline. He will then still meet Natalia in season 6 and they’ll be drawn together and apart for many of the same reasons as in canon.

But crucially, this means that I’d have kept Buck and Taylor friends in seasons 4 & 5 because 1.) I think the men of 911 do not have enough women in their life platonically outside blood relations, 2.) I found their dynamic *before* they started dating much more compelling, and 3.) them making Taylor Buck’s GF seemed to stifle her character a little, so she was less the ambitious, passionate reporter and more just… a sweet girl. In my hypothetical, she’s still there in seasons 4-5, and ever the go-getting reporter. Maybe she has less screen time, but she’s still there. Many of the work-related scenes between her and Buck would and could (and should) remain. Anything related to investigations and her reporting would absolutely stay. I think that Taylor could neatly fit into a similar role that Josh does with Maddie. She’s blunt, no holds barred. He tells her about his family, roommate, and relationship issues in S4, and she always gives him the tough answer. She confides in him when the pandemic becomes too much. They team up for the hit-n-run investigation and the treasure hunt (Ali also joins them). She is his friend—and maybe one of the only ones outside the 118 family— who is there when his best friend, Eddie, gets shot (but clearly—and crucially—not in the same way Maddie is there for Chim or Karen is there for Hen because she’s *not* Buck’s GF or a potential LI, and also not in the same way that Ali is *not* there for Buck, given Buck goes to lengths to hide this development from Ali, like putting on his vest in secret). She is still hard on him for his “neediness” and “impulsivity.”

IMHO—not too much changes between them. There’d be fewer scenes between them, sure. They wouldn’t kiss. Some of their more emotional conversations would be less couple-y, like the coffee date where he talks about his family. (And I personally love the idea that this whole time they’re friends, Taylor is dating a woman and Buck has met this woman or heard about her, but that is, again, just fan-canon.) Also, we’d miss that scene of Taylor in her black lingerie (sorry lesbians) and Buck in that grey A-line Tee (sorry to me), but not much is otherwise changing. Hell, even the way things eventually break down doesn’t need to change (minus the issue with Buck asking Taylor to move in after he and Lucy kissed). Buck will still learn that he can’t fix everything because Taylor will still prioritize her career over her friendship. Plus, a friendship crashing and burning is its own beast, and one that would teach Buck that it’s not just in his romantic relationships that he gives too much of himself. (Cough, cough, a lesson he could learn with Eddie.)

Also, with this breakdown coming so soon after breaking things off with his gf, his best friend damn near dying, and his sister running away, Buck will go to lengths to try and fix the issues in his friendship, lengths like going to Oklahoma to support her (a trip where he meets her GF in my fan-canon). He wasn’t enough to inspire Abby to stay. He couldn’t make it work with Ali. Eddie fucking got shot. Maddie’s run away. And now a difference in world views has put him and a friend at odds with each other (something that *seems* fixable). So, he’ll try his damndest to fix things, desperately wanting this to work out as everything else goes haywire. “I can’t lose a friend, too.” “You were there for me after Eddie got shot, I want to be here for you now.” “Everything else is a mess; I want to help where I’m needed.” No more losing people. Except, it doesn’t work. Meaning, Buck would still come to understand himself and his localized view of himself relative to others vs. Taylor’s more universal view of herself as their friendship falls apart.

This also all still leaves Tommy to be different compared to Buck’s past romantic relationships, most of which happened on his partner’s terms rather than his own. It also still leaves Taylor in the series and her impact on Buck remains without half-nuking her character. Buck also maintains much of his character growth, as I will always maintain that Taylor was very important to Buck’s character growth.

[myobsessionsspace]

I felt the need to write this in light of soo many asks I’ve seen throughout Chapter 2

The crux of the asks that got me here are “I don’t see many moments around Jikook anymore” “We need more Jikook moments” “I don’t think Jikook are close anymore, xx/xx have more moments than them”

*credit to all original owners of art & media

I just want to share *my thoughts*...

How did we meet Jikook?

Some of you may have known of them since debut, some since Blood Sweat & Tears, HYYH era, Dynamite, Butter or even most recently in Chapter Two.

However you became aware of them, you would have also been aware of their group. The reason for their current status. To know Jikook you must in some capacity know Bangtan.

I say this because to have gotten to know Jikook, it would have been through the group using videos, Bangtan Bombs, Bon Voyages, In The Soops, concerts, all of the above, some or none at all.

(I won't mention those that only know Jikook through fanmade edited Tik Tok, fanmade YouTube edits etc.)

We learned more about them as idols, as members, as friends and as brothers. All of what we learnt we learnt with the approval of either the members or their company.

The only other ways to have learnt about them without either theirs or their company’s approval, would have either been through paparazzi, stalker/sasaeng info, fictitious YouTube videos, rumours, guesses and assumptions.

Unless it came from the members directly, from their company, interviews, their music or their filmed content, it wasn’t meant for public consumption. It was most likely not in the members best interest and not in their control.

Now I’m not going to judge our consumption of the above mentioned ‘unapproved’ content. I myself have enjoyed and shared many sighting photos, concert videos, stories from people that had met them etc.

For example when Jikook were spotted heading to Tokyo, prior to that, their private schedule had actually been released, allowing some to know that the two of them had indeed planned to travel alone. They're private concert viewings of other idols & groups, their private cinema and dinner outing and more. This was enjoyable information for jikook fans, supporters and shippers to know but also scary information for the two’s safety, when in the wrong hands.

After their return from their private Tokyo trip that Jungkook organised and paid for as a gift to Jimin, Jungkook published a beautifully directed, edited and produced video of their trip. His first ever Golden Closet Film. On his terms we got full in colour, with meaningful (the permission to use Troye Sivan's song, again paid for by Jungkook) background music, a glimpse of their private trip, through Jungkook’s artistic eye. He shared with us his perspective of what he saw and how he felt felt during their private trip.

I give GCF Tokyo as an example, when we wait for THEM to show US, we get soo much more than 144p blurry images, mistranslations etc.

We get it straight from them, exactly how they see it or how they want us to see it, exactly how they feel it, or how they want us to feel it.

How do we stay with Jikook now?

They are on group hiatus, meaning we just had the last of the Run Bts’ for a while. Bangtan Bombs are now focused on solo endeavours not the group as a whole, to see the group dynamics at present, no group concerts, videos, interviews etc.

Therefore we no longer have company approved content. We still however get member approved content, such as when they go on live, Weverse interactions, music etc.

We still get ‘unapproved content’ such as stalker/sasaeng footage, paparazzi pictures & info, fictitious YouTube videos, rumours, guesses and assumptions.

However with the group just recently celebrating their 10th year anniversary, they are no longer new to idol life, they have learnt from their past, they have reduced their circle. They have increased their security, they are internationally known and more recognisable even with hats, masks & baggy clothes. They also have more money and access now, access to private jets, private rooms, private villas or even just getting whatever they want or need to the privacy of their own homes, no longer shared with a 7 member team.

They no longer have to leave the dorms for a change of scenery, after touring the world, after sharing a form for years, staying home could be said to be their change of scenery at times.

So it’s understandable that the ‘unapproved content’ would be massively reduced in comparison to if they had embarked on Chapter Two 5 years ago.

So we no longer have a lot of company approved content (yes of solo endeavours but rarely of more than 2 members at a time and rarely repeatedly), we don’t have as much ‘unapproved’ content.

What do we the consumers have left?

What the members show us and what the members tell us.

What have the members have shown us/told us?

Since Chapter 2 Jungkook has shown us that he had initially been enjoying down time. Rightfully deserves after training and working since the age of 13/14!

He went through puberty working in the public eye, away from home, away from his parents. Most westerners know how that turns out for some child stars. Bleak. Jungkook has shown the strength of his character by being able to maintain his humility, joy, humour, care for others & love for ARMY.

We know about his down time due to him sharing this with us through his weverse lives. Straight from him, not the company, not sasaengs but him. And we enjoyed it! We love our hours long late night lives with Jungkook. We’ve gone boxing with him, eaten fried chicken with him, sang & danced with him and even most recently had him fall asleep with us TWICE!

Isn’t content straight from the members soo much sweeter?

Jimin, whilst Jungkook was having his down time, was flying all over the globe and in and out of the company's studios & offices. He was having intense music camp like periods with producers and practicing for his solo debut. He didn’t share with us more than a couple of pictures here and there with different producers, but when he did launch his FACE promo and subsequent videos & album, we were and still are GAGGED. Jimin KILLED K-POP in 2023 and DOMINATED (and still is) the industry.

The wait well worth it and we LIVE still!

Jikook

Though the loss of official content for some feels like a Jikook drought, some feel like the loss of official content somehow now means the loss of Jikook’s bond, relationship, whatever you may believe it to be.

Some feel as though the lack of official Jikook means they never were all they felt them to have been. There are a number of things I have seen and heard in regards to Jikook since Chapter 2.

But what have JIKOOK themselves shown us. As I said before, aside from ‘unapproved’ content, which is severely reduced as the members are older, smarter, richer and wiser, we can really only truly rely on the members themselves.

Jungkook

With his downtime, as I said earlier, shared his boxing training, his eating, drinking, watching tv and sleeping with us.

However what did Jikook share with us when Jungkook was boxing?

What did Jungkook share with us when singing?

What did Jungkook share with us on white day?

How sweet was it to see his face light up with each of his interactions with Jimin? How fun was it to watch him stan over Jimin’s music? How cute was if to watch him uwu over Jimin’s interviews?

Jimin

We know had been super busy in being involved with every aspect of his solo debut.

His solo music was and is soo important to him. It was his priority in Chapter 2. However he never failed to show his support with his presence via the comments on MANY of Jungkook’s lives.

Not only that but the biggest gift to ARMY, Jikook supporters and Jungkook was Jungkook’s presence on an album that Jimin clearly stated in multiple interviews had no features. Jungkook’s name is in the credits and his do ring voice cannot be denied, but apart from the credits and the vocals, Jimin has never mentioned Jungkook’s participation.

I guess they really mean it when they say ‘You are Me & I am You’

Letter to *me* is Jimin’s GCF Tokyo. A labour of love, showing us the thoughts, feelings and emotions, this time not through video but through song.

What Jungkook & Jimin have shown us in Chapter two is MORE than enough for me, it’s just as sweet and even sweeter than any ‘unapproved’ or approved content.

If you still need more from them, that is not for their benefit, with their interests in mind or to cement their bond/relationship. That is your issue to deal with.

Whenever you feel like you need ‘more’ from Jikook than they’ve already allowed you to have, go back and watch their labour of love GCF Tokyo (heck pretty much all of the GCFs including Saipan), go back and listen to their labour of love ‘Letter’, go back and read their interviews.

If all of that is still not enough, it’s a you problem.

Not a them problem.

🖤🤍

[writingcold]

Welcome to Chapter One and Two of Best Laid Plans!

A/N: This is not an easy story to read.  I feel I need to say that up front.  This follows Jake and Amanda across a twenty year journey when the story is fully told.  It is an AU, set during the 1980’s, though the era plays very subtly in the story itself.  This is a sad, angsty read with little pockets of happiness and tenderness.  

The story is a simple one - Jake and Amanda fall in love over the course of a summer before her first semester of college.  But for all of their planning, their young love takes a turn and sets them both on a course that is not the path they could never have expected.  It is the first story in a long time that I have tried to write in first person - a little different!

I’ll be posting in two chapter increments, every Wednesday.  At least that is the current plan!  BLP is a finished work, so there will be no disruption in postings.

This is a complete fiction - totally made up.  I do not, nor will I ever know Jake or any member of GVF.  That said, this story is mine.  Please respect that.

A tremendously huge thank you to @takenbythemadness for being my eyes on this.  She took so many bullets as I honed this story into what it is.  I owe her drinks and lots of boxes of tissues.  💚Love you, my friend.

Content warnings: Angst.  Pregnancy.  Poverty.  

Word count: approx. 9700

Chapter 1: December, 1981: Amanda POV

     My feet could not be still.  They bounced and kicked, shimmied and banged against the counter and stool of Blaine’s Diner.  My heart felt like it was going a million times a minute in a threat to jump out of my chest as I tried like hell to keep a calm exterior.  Cindy watched me as she moved around, filling cups and ushering plates in and out of the kitchen.  Her bright smile seemed to curve all the more every time she drew close to me, coffee pot in hand in a silent ask if I needed more.  The answer, of course, was always a nod.  My fingers would instantly wrap around the warmth of the putty colored mug as the stream of molten liquid refreshed the pottery.

     “Jake must be getting home, yeah?”  Cindy asked as she worked to make fresh coffee.  “Did you have a good semester?”

     “It was fantastic,”  I answered, my body practically vibrating over the notion that his name had been uttered around me.  “Jake got in last night, actually, so…”

     A soft laugh warmed my skin as she reached over and patted my arm.  “It’ll be good to see you together again.  I’ve got a good feeling about you two.”

     Cindy had had a front row seat to the burgeoning romance that was between me and Jake.  We had spent countless hours within Blaine’s, downing coffee and spinning plans the likes only new love could create.  She flitted off to help another table, leaving me alone in my excitement.  Jake had been my high school crush.  I was new to town my freshman year and my eyes landed on him the very first day of school.  He was a senior, forced to show new students around.  Although he was nice through the whole tour, I could see how he was annoyed by the end.  I had stayed towards the back of the group of eight kids, just listening to him explain the layout, giving little hints about how the bell schedule seemed to give us an extra minute between the fourth and fifth periods, which teachers were cool and which were not, and when to avoid the school lunch.  He held the door open for us when it was time to get back to the office.  When I passed him, he smiled.  It wasn’t one of those mean ‘hurry up so I can get away from you all’ smiles either.  He was not the cutie pie high school boy.  He wasn’t tall, dark and handsome, either.  He was only a bit taller than me, with his shaggy hair all unkempt and dark eyes positively glittering as he had smiled the kind of smile that tugged at one corner of his mouth more than the other.  He and his twin brother, Josh, were not the most popular, but they seemed to be everywhere and attached to everything - together.

      I carried that smile with me all through that year.  It was stupid and girlish, but despite all the typical teen drama that happened, seeing Jake smile brought me a comfort that I did not understand at the time.  I would run into him during drama and band classes, as well as all the different productions that we put on that year.  I was a little distraught when he graduated.  He had plans of going to Loyola on a music scholarship, while his twin was headed to New York for film school.

     My youthful angst over not seeing Jacob Kiszka was fierce as the summer expired and the new school year started.  My friends were loud and obnoxious and full of being sixteen, or close to it.  I was the first to get my license and thus drove everyone everywhere - including parties, practices and games.  I had my first kiss that year by Robbie Parker.  Am I embarrassed that I pictured that it was actually Jake giving me that kiss - just a little.  Robbie was sweet, but my heart belonged elsewhere.  

     My crush only increased over the remaining years of school.  The Kiszka family was incredibly tight knit.  Jake would be there for nearly every play (maybe not opening night, but at least be there for one performance), and every big event for his siblings.  Senior year was my year to wonder.  The last of his siblings had graduated.  I was still carrying the torch, though.  I could not really explain why.  I did see him in passing during  the holidays while I was gift shopping with Jenni and Mel.  But it was at Martin’s during Spring Break that had left me breathless as I smacked right into him as I was leaving and he was walking in.  I was so embarrassed that I didn’t even look back after he tried to make sure I was okay.  All I could think was how good he smelled.  Ugh.

      I was at Marni’s graduation party when the friends decided they had had enough of the adults having all the fun and wanted to head out to the river for the rest of the night.  There were rumors of a bonfire and keg.  We piled into my ancient microbus and bounced our way down to the other side of the golf course, out into the woods where no one lived.  By the time we got out to the party, it was all swamped with football players and jocks of all kinds, along with cheerleaders, band geeks, and the Kiszkas.  My eyes pasted themselves instantly to Jake as he stood talking with Josh and Sam along with a few from my class.  I tried to be normal.  I really did.  I swear I was not gawking, but Jake looked different that night.  He looked like a man with his hair pulled back and scruff on his chin.  Marni practically threw me under my own bus when she screamed - full assed screamed - a hello in their direction.  Fortunately, everyone just chalked it up to Marni being Marni, probably drunk off her butt and it was only 10:20 in the evening.  

      We danced around the bonfire and dug our toes in the river mud and laughed when people started to fall into the icy water.  As the night wound down, I noticed that Jake was close to my group, his eyes straying to me.  Me.  I chanced a smile and a hello.

     “Amanda, right?”  he asked as he smiled that smile that I had held dear for four years.

     “Yeah.  Jake, right?”  I mimicked with a way more confident nod than I realized.  I heard Marni start to downright cackle as he took my hand. 

     “Happy graduation,”  he said with a smile, completely ignoring my obnoxious friend.

     We fell into conversation immediately.  He was all about Chicago and what he was learning.  He wanted to know my plans - where I was planning on heading off to for school or otherwise.  Our conversation was like breathing.  Our words were normal and filled with fun and laughter and something that I would come to realize was promise by the end of the summer.  We had traded numbers at the end of the night.  I watched as he wrote his number on my forearm - the way he held my wrist and blew against the ink to make sure it didn’t smudge.  He stood in the road as I drove my half passed out friends into the dawn’s light and called me two hours later to say good morning.

     The summer had been magical.  Every moment I wasn’t working at the grocery and he wasn’t working at Martin’s Music, we were together.  It was like Jake and I were magnets that needed to be together.  My parents were a little concerned about how much time I was spending with him and voiced it after they caught us making out behind the dugout on the school baseball fields.  Jake found himself in a long conversation with my dad without me present.  That was weird.  

      When summer was screaming to a close, my whole being was amped up to eleven.  I was getting ready for school and things got serious.  I was in love.  I knew it.  I voiced it.  I had never said ‘I love you’ to anyone besides my family.  I was rewarded with silence.  Just when I thought my heart couldn’t take it, he kissed me.  Jake kissed me and held me and treasured me and lulled me, and finally set me on fire with words of love the likes I was sure no one had heard pass his lips before.  

     Instead of dreading what was to come, we planned.  We planned every instance of every week, planning for calls, planning for visits during the holidays, planning for the future.  When we parted - me to Dearborne and him to Chicago - we had an idea of what our schedule would look like.  We spent the last days wrapped up with each other.  We were happy.  We talked about the future and how it looked for us.  We decided, together, that we could flourish.

      College had not been as easy as I thought it would be.  My schedule was crazy and hard and I had no one to turn to but myself.  Jake called me at the dorm every Tuesday and Saturday afternoon.  We’d write.  Before I knew it, mid-terms were kicking my ass and Thanksgiving was right around the corner.  Though I had hoped that he would make it home, the possibility of him picking up a week’s worth of gigs had become a reality and too good to pass up.  So, we promised that the holidays would be extra special.  That was what had led me to be in Blaine’s, waiting for Jake.

     “Just the Two of Us” started to pipe through the radio.  The happiness in my body doubled.  Cindy paused as I could no longer hide the smile that graced my mouth.   She took a chocolate chip cookie from the tray and set it before me with a wink.  

     “If that boy doesn’t get here soon, I’m afraid you’re going to explode,”  she teased.  “That’s on me because if it gets any sweeter, I’m going to go into a coma.”

      The chime on the door filled my ears and I felt his gravity pulling me - all of me - with force.  Jake walked through the door and I knew everything was… off.  His eyes sparked for a moment like usual, but then it was gone.  He walked slowly, his body rigid like he was dreading to talk to me.  Cindy was waiting at the counter for him.  The look in her eye matched my own.  The happy that had been in my gut turned to steel wasps as he paused with a hard swallow.

      “Can I get a coffee, please?”  he asked, his voice halting.

      “How about menus?”  Cindy asked as she reached for a fresh mug.

      “Just the coffee today, thanks,”  he said softly, his gaze shielded.  “Would it be all right if we sat in that booth over there?”

       Cindy nodded with a smile that did not meet her eyes.  I watched as he grabbed hold of my mug and walked away without a touch, a smile, anything that would convey the warmth that should have been present.  I felt my once excited feet shuffle forward.  The apprehension that poured out of my brain, I could taste it in my mouth.  He may not have waited for me at first, but he did wait until I arrived at the table before he sat down across from me.  He barely could hold my gaze as he seemed to find it difficult to get comfortable.

      “You look good,”  he said, finally after taking several sips of his coffee.  “How’s your family?”

      “They are well.  Grandma should be getting in tomorrow with Aunt Rose from their trip from Florida,”  I said, attempting to sound like I did not notice how he seemed to skirt looking directly at my face.  “How’s your folks?  Josh coming in from New York?”

      He nodded as he fidgeted with the handle of his mug.  “They’re good.  Josh drove up with me.  He’s already fighting with mom over which cookies to make.”

      I could feel it.  Jake was visibly upset, but I could feel the soured air between us.  I felt my lip tremble as I realized that he wasn’t just struggling to look at me, but was physically restraining himself.  This.  Whatever this was, I had felt it before but in a much smaller venue.  This was like when Robbie kissed me then a few days later said he didn’t like me anymore.  What stung for moments returned to my body.  Every nerve ending was paused, waiting for the shot that I suddenly knew was coming across my bow.

      “Mandy, you must understand that this summer meant everything to me,”  he started, each word fighting to get out of his mouth as if his lips were fighting against him.  

      My jaw felt like jello as my stomach rolled around like I had a bad case of flu.  His body seemed to bend away from his own thoughts.  The sight made my brain stand up in anger.  The skin around my eyes felt like it consisted of pulsing drums as I shifted in the seat.

      “I’m not understanding what’s happening, Jake,”  I said as I tried to reach across the table.  

      The words started to fall out of his mouth, but my ears fought against hearing them.  It was like every third or fourth or fifth was striking right when finally, finally my brain allowed one single word to penetrate - pregnant.  Everything became laser focused and my body shored itself up like it was about to be run over by a hurricane of maximum force.

      “When did this happen?”  I asked, my voice foreign to my brain.

      “Thanksgiving.  I knew I was drinking too much.  I knew it,”  he whispered, the anger towards himself bruising the softness of my own heart.  “I didn’t mean for it to happen.  Mandy, I fucked this up so bad.  I didn’t mean it.  I just…  I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

      My back was straight.  Completely opposite of the way it felt like from the inside.  My stupid jaw wouldn’t stop quivering as he continued to talk, but each word brought me closer to vomiting up the gallon of coffee that sloshed around my stomach.

     “I have to do what is right,”  he whispered, his eyes looking glassy with tears.  

     I watched in shock as he stood up, fetching a couple of dollars from his pocket to lay down on the table to cover the ticket and tip.  I realized then, there was no noise in the diner.  It was like the few tables that were occupied knew what was happening between us.  Jake leaned in close.  The smell of his cologne, his smell that I so had welcomed and had missed, invaded my senses.

      “Understand that I love you,”  he whispered.  “It’ll always be you, Amanda.  I know I messed this up.  My mistake.  I’ll always love you.”

      He kissed the ridge of my cheek.  I could feel his mouth trembling as he planted a ghostly kiss into my skin.  He did not withdraw quickly.  He hovered.  The click of his teeth chattering in his head was like nails in my heart.  His pain was palpable, bleeding into my own in a perfect storm of …  It was a perfect storm of…  Distance.

      He was gone.  My Jake was gone.  I felt the first tear strike my face and I wiped it away with a whimper.  Cindy approached, a wad of tissues in her hand and a reassuring touch to my shoulder.

      “Take as long as you need, sugar,”  she whispered, her fingers pressing gently into the sleeve of my sweater.

      In the matter of moments, my world was tilted to the side, kicked down the road and incinerated before my eyes.  Jake was supposed to be ‘it’ for me.  We had talked futures.  We planned everything.  We had had sex.  Oh my goodness the sex.  But we had taken care of each other - we talked about it and made sure we were careful.  I was important to him, he cared for me deeply, just as I cared for him, and he was…

Jake POV

     I sat in my car for hours after the diner.  What I had to do was hard enough, but to see it etched and blistered across her eyes killed me.  The last thing I ever wanted to do was to harm her.  The last thing I ever wanted to do is to face any time without her.  And yet, there I was, getting drunk in the front seat of my father’s car, alone, beyond confused at how something so stupid could have happened.  

     Junior year had been difficult.  It was even worse than my sophomore year.  I felt lost.  I enjoyed classes for the most part.  The work was hard, but manageable.  I enjoyed the gig work that I was able to drum up - and the job in the record store was great.  It was harder making friends.  Chicago was huge and might as well have been another planet compared to Frankenmuth.  Dorms were not for me.  It was too easy to get into trouble.  Too much booze, too many girls, too much of everything.  Getting that apartment with Derrick, even though it was crappy and in a shit building, was huge.  But it also allowed for more distraction than I had planned on.  If there was a way to ignore the entire year, even though I passed all my classes - barely - I would gladly do so.

      I didn’t want to go to that party.  Sam insisted.  He was all hopped up on his own stellar freshman year at Stanford.  Josh was doing amazing things at NYU.  Ronnie was killing it at Ann Arbor.  Then there was me.  I was in a position of losing my tiny little scholarship, and felt like I was squandering my parent’s money, as well as my own.  So, to go to a party with freshly graduated high school students was not high on my list of shit to do.  But then she was there.  Amanda Fischer.  She was adorable with a capital ‘A’.  She had been that kind of quiet pretty girl in high school that went unnoticed until she clobbered you with a smile that you were sure you did not deserve.  And there she was, with the same band of friends that she had been with since she had moved to town my senior year.  She watched over them like a mama hen, making sure everyone was having fun, but staying safe.

      She was like the sun.  Her laugh was music and I found myself drawing closer to her as the hours ticked by.  She was friends with everyone.  I finally found myself next to her and felt stupid when I pretended to not know her name. My heart pounded heavily when she said my name.  We talked like old friends instantly even though that had not been the case.  Our spheres had crossed and touched, but never really had I talked with her.  At the time, I wondered why that was.  She was a drama and music kid.  She was always around the fringes of my own group in school.  And yet…  

     We found ourselves tucked on a huge boulder on the edge of the river, just down a bit from the party.  I got to know her.  Everything.  She was so ready to laugh and ask questions and challenge me in my own thoughts.  I was hooked even before I was writing my number across her arm.  In my brain, I was already marking her as my own, but in truth, I was signing myself over to her.  

      The summer left me stunned.  Mandy was my drug and she made me better just in her presence.  I could see forward so clearly as to what was to come.  Everything was leading me to this, and I wanted to be a man for her.  I wanted to shelter and care for her, and wanted her to care for me and shelter me.  I dreamed of family and that big house on Birch Street, and growing old with her, learning all of her secrets and desires and just everything.  

     I returned to school revitalized.  Mandy had provided me with purpose and direction.  All was going better than ever before.  I picked up studio time for a couple of albums of little known blues and rock and roll artists.  I picked up more gig time on the bar circuit, too.  I played rhythm guitar for The Wringer on Tuesdays and Wednesdays at Odd Fellas Club, while Friday and Sundays was at the Blue Room with Three Broken Strings Band.  It afforded me to put away enough to increase my partner buy-in with Henry for Martin’s Music Shop.  Baird’s Records and Music was flexing my hours to spend more time in management, while Archer Studios invited me to sit with a variety of producers to observe their work.  It was going in the manner that my dreams had begged for, and it was all for her.

      I shone at midterms.  My adviser had even been surprised when I had shown up on time to our little meeting in regards to whether or not I was going to graduate on time.  The music director was impressed about the studio time, then presented me with an opportunity that I knew I could not say no to.  I could not wait for Thanksgiving and getting home to see Mandy.  To be close to her.  To be with her.  It would be a solid grand to play as a fill-in for a blues outfit for the ten days during the break - two shows a day at a venue three times the size the bars I was used to playing.  When I called and talked with Amada about it, she was over the moon for me.  We promised each other that Christmas would be all the more special in our reunion.  My roommate, Derrick, could not return home for the holiday and invited me to a dinner party to be held in our own apartment.  He had rounded up a handful of misfits to enjoy a dinner that lined up with the end of the show for Thursday evening.  How could I refuse?  I was already walking around like I had all the breaks suddenly pulled for me and life after graduation was going to be perfect.

     I came home in a haze of cigarette smoke and beer.  Derrick was corralling the group, which was supposed to only be ten people, but ballooned to twenty seven bodies crammed into the living and dining room.  When I walked in, it was hard not to continue that haze into a full blown feed bag of food and booze.  Most of the faces around me I had known, but there were a few new ones.  While I manned the sink when it was time for dish duty, a girl from the arts department was my drying partner.  Her name was Georgia and she loved listening to my stories about back home, my plans, and the - according to her - swoon-worthy romance with my girl.  

      I managed the music while Derrick was the best host he could be the rest of the night.  The morning brought my head down through a blur that held a weight on the skin of my back.  I was face down on my pillow.  At first, it felt like a fleeting dream of Mandy and those times that I had woken to find her all wrapped up in me and my bed and our love.  But the weight that felt ghostlike in between my shoulder blades did not dissipate when I shifted.  Instead, a heat was released, instantly striking into my side like a bomb.  My eyes flew open to find a splash of bleach blonde hair was mingled with my own.  The absolute shock that flooded every nervous system helped me to launch my body from the bed, taking the thin comforter with me.  

     Georgia groggily lifted her head, instantly making a face that indicated pain from a hangover.  She pulled her naked body up, tucking her legs under her as she visibly struggled to figure out where she was.  I panicked, fumbling in my search for my pants, coming up with nothing but her lingerie and skirt until finally, my pants close to the door.  I was stuffing my legs through the fabric as she started to laugh.

      She scoffed as she pushed her hair back in what seemed like an attempt to be normal.  “Shit, this was a mistake.”

      “No shit,”  I grumbled as I struggled with the button on my fly.  “What the hell happened?  How the fuck…”

      She laughed.  Outright laughed.  My stomach threatened to empty all over her as she slid from the bed to gather her clothes.  She stumbled from my room, right in front of Derrick and shut herself into the bathroom.  The heat that flooded my face and neck was enough to roast the sun.  And then it hit.  I had betrayed Mandy.  I had slept with that woman and had taken every shred of trust that my love had bestowed upon me and set it on fire.  The sound that burbled through my throat was foreign.  And then she was gone.  No other words were spoken.  She left me there in my own guilt.

      Josh flew to Chicago for an extended layover before getting back to school out east.  I had told him that I would fetch him. I couldn’t leave my room.  I could hear Derrick in the front room talking with him as I sat in the corner, eyes burning from grief.  My brother sat with me while my roommate disappeared to give me space.  I was heartsick.  I couldn’t hide the tears.  I couldn’t stop the venom for myself from spilling out between us.

      Somehow, he put me back together enough to make my gigs for that night.  He sat at the side of the stage, insisting that once I had myself started that things would level out - that I would be able to put things right with my Amanda.  And he was right.  I knew that I needed to tell her what had happened - not that I actually remembered anything.  Josh left early the next day with assurances that I just needed to stay the course and keep my shit together.  Mandy was everything.  She knew she was everything.  It was a mistake.  It could be a mistake that could be lived through.

      In the few weeks that flowed by between Thanksgiving and the winter holiday break, I had done just as Josh suggested.  I kept my nose down, worked my ass off both in class, and at the record store and my night gigs.  I kept to myself, turning down invites to go to the bars and hang out with friends beyond school.  

      December twentieth had rolled around.  Derrick was once again manning the apartment for those who could not return home for the holidays.  I set a stack of new records on the record player for him before I finished packing for my fast break from the likes of Chicago.  He had drifted out with a wave on his way to work and a thanks for the music.  Josh was arriving on the red eye.  The plan was that I was going to pick him up and drive home - arriving in time for breakfast with the family.

      It was after ten thirty when the knock came at my door.  I found Georgia in the grimy hallway, disheveled and looking upset.  I told her that Derrick was at work and I was on my way out to get her to go on her way.  

      “I’m pregnant,”  she said quietly, her dark eyes filled with tears.  “I’ve not been with anyone but you for months.”

      Just when my heart thought it couldn’t take more, I found that it exploded out my mouth and through the top of my head.  It was like all my bones were made of rubber and betrayed me in my quest to leave.  The words that wanted to come out of my mouth did not.  I should have questioned.  I should have handled things better.  Instead, I watched as my life with Amanda Fischer flew away.  Everything was decided before she left.  After the shock turned to a crispy mess at my edges, I knew.  I was going to have to figure it all out along the way, but life was not going to be what I wanted it to be.

      Josh drove us home.  The moment I saw him in the airport, he knew.  He professed that he knew shit had hit before he landed.  His face told me that he was keenly aware that I was wrecked.  We talked all through the drive.  Well, I cried through it, while he assured me that it would be well.  The family would throw their full support behind me.  I would not fail in this.

      The bottle at my side did little to make me feel like I was doing what was right.  I was doing what my family expected.  I would take care of this woman I did not know.  I would take care of the child in her belly that she said was mine from a night that I do not remember.  The disappointment that was in my father’s face was nearly as bad as the betrayal that showed in Amanda's eyes.  My mother was sick with worry.  The fury that she felt edged them all.  I had let everyone down and now I was going to show that I could be redeemed through marrying a stranger and doing right by my child.

Chapter 2: June, 1982: Amanda POV

     If you were to ask how I survived freshman year, I would simply tell you I had no choice but to bury myself in school.  I landed a job in the student bookstore in February, and took a weekend shift at the public library.  I deliberately shoved my brain into places it was busy so as not to have to think of anything except for the tasks before me.

     I could be found in the darkest hours, cursing myself for foolish tears that would somehow appear on my cheeks.  I was bleeding out.  My whole world was bleeding out and I had no idea what would be left if the hurt ever vacated my system.  I refused to broadcast my troubles.  How weak must I have appeared walking from class to class, feeling very much like parts of me were just gone, or rotting upon my sleeve.  My heartache did not keep my bosses from giving me positive feedback in my work.  It did, however, keep me in the shadows of parties and study groups and anything that required me to expose my wounds and false smiles.  By March, I found that every breath was not weighted.  Every muscle no longer felt frozen.  I found myself being able to talk to others without fumbling my words.

      Jake was to be at the forefront of everything I was doing.  To have my compass ripped away, tossed me into a current I was not nearly ready for.  But somehow, by some microscopic miracle, I survived.  I felt like I had a whole heart.  It was held together with rubber cement and sticky tape, but it felt whole once more.  I found myself heading out with my dorm friends to the end of the term parties and feeling a smile push its way back onto my face and words of future plans flying from my mouth like I meant them.

      When it was time to return home, I hesitated.  Jenni, my younger sister, said that she had seen Jake working at Martin’s Music all the way back in January.  To think that he was not in school hurt.  To know that he was already home, and with her on my home grounds, made me drag my feet.  I had my summer jobs lined up - once again working at the grocery, but also a few days in the library.  The hours would keep me fairly busy.  And friends from high school had already reached out, providing a safety net of sorts in the downtime.

      Home seemed smaller when I dropped my bag in the entry hall.  Mom and Dad were ecstatic to see me.  Jenni and Mel nearly tackled me.  Home may have felt smaller, but it felt good.  To have a home cooked meal and faces that I loved being so close was healing.  

     “Family picnic next Saturday,”  dad had announced as my sisters and I were working on the dishes.  “You are expected to be there.”

      We rolled our eyes playfully but knew from the authority in his tone that there would be no excuses taken to miss said picnic.  The week went well.  I was in the bakery at the grocery store, so most of the time, I was covered in sugar and flower and a sticky hairnet, but could have the radio on as loud as I wanted and danced like I didn’t care.  The library put me on the circulation desk and shelving books.  It wasn’t hard, but felt like my eyes were constantly searching for any evidence that Jake was indeed still living in town.  My heart struggled on both thoughts - that he did not finish school and was living in town - or maybe he decided not to follow through with his plans of partnering with Henry Martin at the music shop.  Both paths were not right and picked at the drying glue beads on my heart.

      Saturday started beautifully.  The city park was a jewel that straddled the river, meandering lazily with sport fields and monkey bars and slides and horseshoe pits.  The weather was crisp and perfect and drew out so many to enjoy the early summer day.  I had found a smile.  All the aunties and uncles and grandparents had ventured out to join us.  Jenni and I were running around with the littlest of cousins while Mel took her spot helping Mom organize the food.  I felt like a kite, bouncing between constricted fingers, ready to take off to be part of my own sky.  Not that my family was holding me down, but the time was coming for me to make my own way.  I could feel it in my skin as I spun little Zach around in my arms.

      I was distracted by Aunt Mary for a few moments as she waved for me and Jenni to move close together for a picture.  Next thing I knew, Zachary was booking it towards the riverbank just as fast as his little three year old legs could carry him.  I sprinted after him, the breath heavy in my chest with the thought that I may not be fast enough.  The boy’s peels of laughter shot me full of fear that he would lose his footing and fall into the fast moving water.  I swooped in just before he started to turn direction.  Instead of scolding though, I laughed with the boy as I lifted him up and over my shoulder in a show of play rather than fear.

      We giggled and laughed as I teased him, all the while I was walking us back towards safety.  He deftly shimmied his way across my back for a piggy back ride, his little hands taking hold on my shoulders and chin and neck.  I felt a ray of happy strike my chest.  

      “Amanda?”  

      I stopped in my horseplay with Zach to find Jake standing with a heavily pregnant woman.  He looked exhausted with dark smudges beneath his eyes.  His hair had been chopped short - shorter than he had ever had it before.  I of course noticed the matching gold plated bands right away on their hands with an eye that I hoped was not shocked.  There was no smile on his mouth and it hurt to see the corners turning downward.

     “Hello, Jake,”  I managed to say in a normal voice despite my insides sloshing around like I was on rough seas.  “How are you?”

     “Good.  Good,”  he said even though the corners of his eyes pinched in the way that made me know without a doubt that things were not good.  “Uh, this is Georgia.”

      The woman at his side was pretty in that make-up sort of way, though she looked sour in the late term of her pregnancy.  I smiled the best I could.  My eyes met his gaze for a moment, but it was enough.  It was like my heart flew apart at the realization that there was no joy in him - not any more.  I couldn’t force any words past my lips.  Fortunately, Zach must’ve picked up my unease and started to fuss against me, yanking my hair to move.

      “I better get going,”  I said, hoping that he did not hear the quiver in my voice.  “It was good to see you Jake, Georgia.”

      I took a few steps before getting Zach down so that he could run ahead of me back to the family corner.  I tried my hardest to keep my shoulders strong and my back straight, but I felt like jello by the time I got to Jenni.  Her eyes were trained over my shoulder as I’m sure she was watching the couple continue to walk down the path.

     “I have to go,”  I whispered to keep my voice from cracking.

     Jenni nodded as she drew in a sharp breath.  “I’ll keep you covered with the folks.”

     I slithered away, out of the park to my waiting bus.  The microbus didn’t want to start at first - almost as if hoping that what it saw was not Jake with another woman.  The flash of memory crossed my mind of my first time with Jake in the back of the vehicle I sat in.  The way he had held me, took care of me.  He may not have been my first, but he damn sure made it feel like he was going to be my last.  I gulped as I backed the bus up and made my escape.  The feel of his hands echoed across my body as I fought to keep in a jagged sob.  The words that he whispered as he worshiped my skin punched and kicked in my belly as my vision blurred.  

      I missed second gear as I shifted, the engine giving a jolt over my mistake.  It was enough to rattle me back to what I was doing.  The tears were hot on my flesh as I rushed to wipe at them.  Home felt like a dollhouse as I parked the bus and tumbled through the door.  I discovered that my shared room with Jenni was little more than a little girl’s fantasy.  Her unbroken, full of wonder heart’s pixie dust and magical dreams etched into every inch of walls, carpet and ceiling.  It resided in every book, every poster, every piece of art.  My feet carried me right to the bookcase.  Jenni had covered it with one of her cowgirl hats, but the journal was there - untouched, unmoved from when I had laid it to rest at Christmas.  The dark navy cover with little imprinted silver stars called out for my fingers to reach up and retrieve it.  

     The corner of my mouth flinched as the cover popped and the spine cracked as if in warning of what I was about to see.  Its pages were filled with little girl desires, goals, plans.  Words wrapped in shakily drawn hearts and clouds as she wrote out her deepest events with Jake.  There were pictures and mementos and sketches and memories of a forever that would never happen.

      A picture drifted to the floor.  The sound of his laugh filled my ears as I bent to pick it up.  He wore those short red swim trunks that day with a baseball hat, his hair sticking out from beneath it in all different directions.  We spent the whole day on the river, tubing, just the two of us.  It was the first time he had said he wanted me…  He wanted me that way.  He had been lost in thought, playing with my fingers and he just said it.  No smile.  No laugh.  No nothing but the words and the weight that followed felt like he had captured me like a butterfly, so careful not to bend my wings.  He was beautiful in that moment.  He was a man giving me a glimpse of a life that I so desperately wanted with him and him only.

      I was surprised that I was no longer crying as I traced the line of his arm in the picture.  I puffed out a breath like I was blowing out stale air from the attic.  I tucked the picture back into the diary and returned it to its resting place.  It was a little girl’s refuge and would stay that way.  These were memories of a better time and I just needed to accept what was instead of what could be.  The exhaustion of the moment pressed down on me and I was ready to release it.  I could say goodbye to Jake.  I would say goodbye to Jake.

Jake POV

     The day had started just as every other day had since everything had so drastically changed.  Instead of waking up in my tiny assed room in the shared tiny assed apartment with Derrick, I woke up in my tiny assed room in the shared tiny assed apartment with Georgia.  I was able to procure the living space above the accounting office downtown.  Of course, Mr. Moser, the accountant, was a total prick about everything.  Walk across the floor any time during office hours could result in a call that we were being too loud.  School was done - for both of us.  A fact that I was reminded of often.  I was working my ass off, sometimes finding that I was ‘home’ for six hours or less at any given stretch.  Mr. Henry was happy to let me come on full time right away at the music shop.  I also picked up weekend shifts at the papermill.  It still wasn’t enough to cover the medical bills, so I also was a substitute night janitor at the school.  I was lucky to sit a few minutes before each stretch of job.

      The pregnancy had not been an easy one.  Most days, Georgia could only go between the bed to the gross couch I was able to lift off my parents from the garage, to the bathroom.  Most days, her mood was foul, so me being at work all the time was not totally a bad thing.  Maybe a selfish thing, but not bad.  

      I married her the second week of January.  Mom was beyond pissed and Dad was disappointed.  Georgia had no ties to her family.  She did not have any friends that attended the services, either.  Josh was worried.  Ronnie and Sam were baffled.  And I was in mourning.  But I was doing what was right.  I was going to provide a home and family for this child that was to be mine.  I could be that man - that man that took responsibility for his shit.  There was no love in this relationship.  Some days, I wondered if there was any respect to it.  Minute by minute could be a struggle.  The arguments were steady with her lamenting that she was no better than her mother - she’d wind up stupid with a horde of kids she hated and a man…

     She often stopped short at that part.  I would be gone before she could finish the sentiment anyway.  I was not one of those men and she damn well knew it.  The doctor suggested that she needed to move to ease the stress on her body.  I had taken to walking with her when I had time between jobs.  Saturday mornings before I had to get over to Martin’s for a few lessons, followed by my twelve hour shift at the mill was one of the few times that I could walk her through the park.   

     With the end of the school year, I knew that I would have to address the fact that Mandy would be returning home.  I would have to acknowledge the wound that was refusing to heal within my chest. I was in no shape to see her dancing with her cousin in the sunshine that morning.  I flew apart at my seams the moment my eyes landed on her.  

        Mandy was the kind of beautiful that I could read like a song title, with notes that were delicate and fierce and…  And there she was before me.  Her raven hair tied back in a thick, glossy braid, with little stray wisps that kissed around her neck and face.  To hear the twinkle of her laugh filled my skin with an energy that I had been desperate for.  The instant pain that flickered through her features clawed open the flimsy stitches on my soul.

     Georgia felt it - the hard gravitational pull that Amanda had upon me.  I was sure of it.  Her body was instantly rigid and her breath was tight.  It was not lost on me that she said not a word to Mandy after I introduced her.  By the time we got home, she was spewing venom the likes I had never seen.  Instead of feeling shame, it was rage that blurred in my vision.

      “You cannot seriously think that I can just not feel anything,”  I said, my voice foreign to my ears as I hissed each syllable.  “You know what she was supposed to be - what she should be - for me.”

      Georgia’s eyes bulged with a sickening glare.  “Then I guess you shouldn’t have fucked me!”  

      The words were screamed across the entire downtown.  I was sure of it.  It was her favorite bite when she felt like she was cornered.  My fault.  I did this to her.  Maybe I did, but I wasn’t the only one in that bed.  The only reprieve with this argument was that at least it was Saturday and Mr. Moser wouldn’t be calling the cops on us this time.  Instead of watching her spiral out of control while my brain bit back words that were cruel, I merely grabbed my keys and walked out.

      I dug in my pocket for change that wasn’t there.  It would be a long day without food in my belly.  I pushed into Martin’s back door, shoving my smelly coveralls for the mill into the locker that Henry had gotten me, along with my keys and slammed the door with a huff.  I could feel my world crumbling further as the man that I called mentor looked me over.  He pointed at the office door while he finished up with a customer at the counter.  My heart sank.  Henry was one of those people that most wished for to be part of your life.  Martin’s music had been a refuge while I was growing up.  Dad and I would spend hours within its walls, playing, messing around, searching for whatever caught our eye.  Henry and Dad were good friends, but as I grew, I found that the man filled all those voids that I felt when I was around anyone else.  By the time I was fourteen, I realized I wanted to be him when I grew up.  

      Stepping into the small office that was crammed with filing cabinets and boxes, I poured myself a cup of tar that Henry called coffee.  I didn’t mind though.  It would at least be something in my stomach.  I looked over the schedule, noting that my one o’clock had been canceled - again.  I grumbled.  I got paid regardless, but honestly, how I could be considered intimidating was beyond me.

      “Bad day,”  Henry said as he closed the door behind him.

      I blew out a breath when I really just wanted to bury my face and cry.  Henry patted my shoulder as he moved around me.  He balanced his long frame against the edge of the old desk, arms folded across his chest.  The look in his face made all my upset that much worse.

      “I’m sorry I came in like this, Henry,”  I said, wiping my fingers across my forehead.

      “I think it’s time to talk about the partnership agreement,”  he remarked, his lips pursed.

     Oh hell no…  

     I felt everything rush to my feet.  The deal was that I would graduate, buy into the partnership and in five years, take over the business.  

     “I know things haven’t been going well,”  he continued, giving me a knowing look that I’m sure was supposed to be comforting but instead felt like it was my cue to panic.  “I’ve talked things over with Ada and we agree that the partnership that we thought we could have needs to be revised.”

      “I’m sorry,”  I mumbled out as I tried to find where my heartbeat had gone.  “Henry, I - I just don’t have the money to buy-in right now.  All my gig cash got eaten up first and now it’s just…  I just don’t have it… I didn’t mean-”

      One of his bear paw sized hands came down on my shoulder, his face a mix of upset and concern.  “Whoa, Jake.  Slow down.”

      “No, this is not how it’s supposed to be, Henry,”  I choked out across my tightening throat.  “I get it.  I’m trying to get there.  I’ll do anything to keep up with my end of the plan.  It’s everything -”

      I couldn’t breathe.  The man gripped my shoulder as grief and panic conquered my entire body.  The rattle and bang of the office door sent me to hiding my face.

      “What did you do, Henry?”  Ada’s strong tone was instantly defensive as her hand fell to my empty shoulder.

      “I just said that we needed to talk about our partnership,”  the man said softly, his hand rubbing into the thin sleeve of my t-shirt.  “Jake.  Come on, son.  It’s okay.”

      “Jacob,”  she soothed, hugging my head into her torso.  “Come on, baby.  It’ll be okay.  It’s not bad.  Just my stupid husband’s inability to read the room.”

      Once the emotions were let loose, I couldn’t drag them back.  Everything was flooding out of me - from the fight with Georgia, to seeing Mandy, from all the mistakes and all the loss, it all just washed out of me and I was helpless to stop it.  And these two lovely people who I considered second parents let it happen.  Let me cry like a damn child over a broken toy.  But they held me.  They must’ve realized that they had become my glue that was holding me together.  

      Ada was quick with a glass of water and tissues while Henry frowned as if he was trying to piece together what was going on.  These two were never able to have their own kids.  I was among the multitudes that they had unofficially adopted as their own - but Ada always said that I was the one she would fight to bring me home.  Mom would just cackle and offer me up.  Something that Mom missed was the drift of sadness that invaded Mrs. Ada’s eyes whenever that phrase was uttered.  

      “I didn’t mean to lose it like that,”  I said as I wiped at my face.  “I’m sorry you two.  It’s just everything I wanted to do is just gone.”

      “That’s why I wanted to talk about the partnership,”  Henry remarked, taking his seat behind the desk.  “It’s time to maybe restructure it - you’ve got a baby coming.  We need to make sure everything works here, okay?  I think I have a few ideas-”

      “You mean we, Henry - we have a few ideas,”  Ada said sharply with a pat to my arm.  

      He might’ve rolled his eyes dramatically, but the smile was there.  I felt my body return to normal.  A wisp of strength returned to my burning lungs as Henry and Ada outlined their ideas to keep things moving forward - taking a little bit of extra time before I took full ownership, but if I wanted it, Martin’s could still be mine.  The plan was enough to carry me through the rest of the day.  Ada showed up with a plate before I had to leave for the mill.  She grumbled that I was working myself to death.  I left with a smile - something that had been elusive as of late.  

      I dragged myself home.  I didn’t want to talk.  I didn’t want to fight.  I was near crawling as I took to the stairs outside of the apartment.  As I jingled the key in the lock, for a moment, I hesitated.  I wondered if Georgia would still be inside.  There were no ties to her other than the baby.  She had nobody other than myself to keep her here.  If I admitted to myself, I looked forward to meeting my child, loving them, sheltering them.  Perhaps it would be the catalyst to love for the wife I barely knew.  I knew there would be no love like what I still harbored for Mandy, but at the very least, have some semblance of a marriage.

      The apartment was silent when I entered.  I dropped my keys in the dish at the door and kicked out of my boots.  Once I stripped out of the coveralls, I lit a smoke before I headed towards the shower.  My eyes passed over the empty counter of the kitchen and the bare walls of the space.  The bedroom door was still closed and I decided not to look inside for her.  I did not need to be screamed at so early in the morning.  Instead, I let the shower penetrate my skin, washing away the harshness that Georgia had laid into me hours before.  A stray thought of how good Mandy had looked until I had to open my mouth to force her to look at me flashed across my consciousness.  The conflict struck my heart and stayed there.  

      I stood in the kitchen with a piece of bread with peanut butter smeared across it when Georgia slowly made her presence known.  I had made a pot of coffee but could only stare at it.  I was too damn tired to wash out the only mug in the apartment.  I was waiting for her words to slam into my head and tear me down to the floor.  Her silence made my skin prickle with anger.  All I could do was hope that perhaps she did not see the reaction.

      “I’m sorry, Jake,”  she said quietly.  “I’m sorry about earlier.  I was out of line.”

      I could feel my eyebrows pinch together in confusion.  Looking at her, how she held her hands under her swollen belly like she was already holding our baby, she looked lovely in her own way.  The tiredness of her eyes made me drop my guard.

      “You have to understand that I did not expect to see her yesterday,”  I said softly.

      “She’s everything you said she would be,”  Georgia sighed as she leaned against the counter next to me.  “Maybe more.  I think that’s why I reacted to the situation like that.  Made me realize a few things.”

      I couldn’t say anything.  Her dark eyes shimmered in the low light of the morning.  I shoved the rest of my peanut butter bread into my face to settle my quivering stomach.

     “I know you’re killing yourself to keep us afloat, Jake,”  she whispered.  “It won’t always be like this.”

      I looked at her as I filled a glass with water.  “I know.  You doing better this morning?”

      “Just ready for this baby to be here, I think,”  she muttered as her hands swirled around the top of her belly.  “Been super active all night.  Going to be bouncy, I think.  Kind of like you.”

      I couldn’t help but smile.  She beckoned me for my hand and I obliged as she took my wrist and guided my fingers to where the baby was kicking and moving.  My child.  No matter what - that was love.  Love waiting to be brought into the world.  It was what I clung to when the woman before me slung me full of arrows and venom.

      I pressed my fingers against what felt like the crest of a tiny knee and was rewarded with a hard thump.  I couldn’t help the smile that split my lips, nor the soft chuckle that rode out on my breath.  

      “I’ve got to get to bed,”  I replied as I continued to wonder at the life within her tummy.  “I’ve got to be back to the mill by noon.”

      Georgia nodded.  I noticed the corners of her mouth tightened.

      “Why don’t you come lay down with me,”  I said softly, my eyes lifting to hers.

      She nodded as I slipped my hand into hers to guide her along.  I slid into the small, double sized bed and waited for her to get comfortable on her side before I formed myself against her, my hand searching for the connection to our baby once more.  It was not love.  It was not love that I felt for her in moments like this, but at least it was comfort.  She could be kind.  I could return that kindness.  I fell into a sleep under the rhythmic kick of my baby and the soft breathing of my wife.

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

I hope you enjoy the story so far.  I’ll be back next Wednesday with another two chapters.  I will continue to warn that there is heavier angst ahead, and just be aware of your limits.  Next week will be tough.  

I have a tag list if you would like to join, or you can just reply to this or message me.

@lvnterninthenight @doodle417 @luverleaver @jakesgrapejuice @fictional-duchess @milkgemini @positivegvfthings @songbirds-sweet @streamingcolors-gvf @gretavanbitches @gardensgatedaisy @babyhoneygvfarchive @myownparadise96 @josh-iamyour-mama @starcatchercarol @loveisonaroll @jakesstarlight @reesetrippingthelight @builtby-gvf @ignite-my-fire @ohgodthefeeling-gvf @wetkleenex-gvf @gold-mines-melting @starsasone @mysticalstarcatcher @montenegroisr @takenbythemadness @way-to-go-lad @cal-a-bungaa @lightmylove-gvf @thewritingbeforesunrise @leftjudgeempathsuitcase @brokenbells11 @imborrowedshesblue @vanfleeter @sammysvanfeet @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @jaketlove @redsierra1960 @gvfmarge @becinabubblegvf @wildbluesorbit @sinarainbows @livkiszka @thetroublegetssoloud71

[blitheringmcgonagall]

Oh my GOOOOOD, your additions to the Peter Pettigrew meta were so well-written, it was almost like reading a fic in and of itself. I was a bit terrified and definitely disturbed by the time you got to the end of the timeline. Really brought into full view for me exactly how fascinating and truly...evil? his whole arc is.

And I deeply appreciate your position on him truly being one of the Marauders, not this cast off that none of them really liked. I know I've been so guilty in the past of having him sort of be the throw-away Marauder, even in my Hogwarts-era fics, but I really want to write and read more fics where he's as much a member of the group as the others are...

Oh! And you brought up so many facts that spoke to how calculated his decisions were, both in the Marauder's Era and Trio Era, which directly oppose his own claim that he did it all because Voldemort would have killed him... Do you think he used people's view of him as a coward to his benefit, and actually was much more of a manipulator than he ever appeared in the books? It seems clear now that there were a lot of other factors for him beyond fear, so he was probably just using the excuse that he thought would work best for him in the moment (speaking specifically about the scene in the Shack in PoA) - and this excuse wasn't really the truth, or at least, not the whole truth... Just, wow, yeah, I don't know how I'd never seen before that he's obviously so much more than a coward, if he's even really a coward at all.

Ah, so sorry for rambling at you about this 😅 I'm just so intrigued by this whole discussion and can tell you've thought about it a lot! 💚

Thank you so much!!! This is the post you are referring to and I’m so happy you liked it! I honestly have thought about this a lot because I was forced to when I was writing my canon marauders fic we can be heroes?

The fact he was spying for Voldemort for a full year before Lily and James were murdered is incredible… as he was watching baby Harry growing older, meeting his fellow Order members, going to their funerals, simultaneously passing on details and getting them killed, one by one… chilling stuff!

The reasons are fascinating and possibilities endless. I picked fear as one reason but actually jealousy and self-preservation more importantly for him?

And even that isn’t enough of an explanation? Yes fear was a definite big motivator but out of all of Voldy’s pure blood fanatic bigoted Death Eaters, why did HE willingly (under no duress) travel to the forests of Albania on his own to find Voldemort? He could have just disappeared and lived as a rat anywhere in the UK. Or as a pretend-muggle anywhere in Europe, or even escaped to the US or Canada?

I think we all casually accepted how many people Pettigrew directly and indirectly killed? The Order members he betrayed, James and Lily, the twelve Muggles he killed by blowing up the street with an extremely powerful curse (“which created a crater large enough that the sewer pipes were showing”), he caused Bertha Jorkins to get permanent brain damage (and then Voldemort killed her), he killed Cedric…

I’m not sure how she-who-must-not-be-named wrote him. She describes him constantly as weak and fawning, “hero worshipping” James and Sirius according to Prof McGonagall who thought he was stupid (he clearly wasn’t). JK writes him as terrified of Voldy and cringing practically every time we see him after Voldy returns. She implies it’s all due to fear but that doesn’t add up imo.

Peter had a miserable life after Halloween 1981, living as a rat for 12 years, then being treated like shit by Voldy and co who all clearly despised him. Maybe he found some solace hanging out with the Golden Trio in Hogwarts’ Gryffindor Common Room again, reminding him of happier times as a teenager before the war, when he had best friends? (Although surely reminded of his misdeeds, all the time, by Harry who looks the spitting image of James but with Lily’s eyes and her sass?)

He wanted to win. To be on the side of the winning team, untouchable, protected - as he once was in school by his fellow marauders.

I thought maybe the reason he went to such great lengths, of his own accord, why he so desperately wanted to bring back Voldy and have the Death Eaters win, is that at least he’ll be then able to tell himself it was all worth it (the betrayals, the deaths on his conscience, the life as a rat). That maybe Voldy and his wix will finally respect him? Because if Voldy loses, then all his godawful life will have been for what? For nothing?

[tatertotcosmonaut]

I hope I didn't mistake you for someone else, but I think you're the other mutual I have who's into JJK, right? I only have two mutuals who reads JJK ahahahha. So it should be you...

Have ya read the (albeit terribly-translated) leaks for C248 yet? Thoughts?

Yes I am the other JJK mutual lol, you weren’t mistaken! I have read the leaks, but I usually wait till TCB scanlations and then official translations (although I hate official translations, John Werry really needs to be replaced) so I can compare them and come to a conclusion about my thoughts.

I’m a bit more ready to negatively criticize JJK than most, but I do so because I know Gege is capable of really good writing. Shibuya is one of the best written arcs I’ve seen, and the philosophy and themes aren’t new but they are written in ways that are intriguing to me.

Sukuna is one of my favorite characters, but the mass Sukuna v. Everyone fight has steadily become more and more boring to me. There’s only so many times I can be “off the edge of my seat” with constant deaths and death scares and “Sukuna defeat” close calls before I just become blasé to it. I was expecting there to be many deaths (it is a war after all), I was expecting Sukuna to be difficult (He is known as the most powerful sorcerer for a reason), but it feels less like a battle of tension and cunning and more close to levels of “last season of Game of Thrones” writing (although not nearly as egregious, Gege is still a competent writer and he clearly is trying to tie this up as best as he can).

The Kenjaku v Takaba fight is, no joke, one of my favorite fights in the series. I think it’s a wonderful display of how cunning Sorcerers need to be whilst showing the creativity of the power system Gege has made. And I think that’s what I feel is missing from the Sukuna fight, or is steadily disappearing. Sukuna is meant to be cunning, he’s meant to be smart, but it feels less like he’s winning because he’s cunning and more because he’s winning because well…Gege needs him to for tension reasons.

The court room fight is a good example of this. Lord I would’ve loved to see Sukuna utilize his intelligence to overcome Higuruma’s domain, it would’ve been much more satisfying than Sukuna getting that one weapon confiscated and the whole fight just ending in like 4 panels and that’s that.

I also will be majorly rankled if Kenjaku is actually dead and gone. There is no reason they should be as Kenjaku, the person that prepared for this whole debacle for over 800 years, is much more cunning than to just be killed by a decapitation. I think it’s fair to say that Kenjaku is the main overarching villain, none of this would be happening if it wasn’t for them, nor would Sukuna be here either. To kill then off as if they were some dumb goon obstacle boss would be an insult to their character. Kenjaku’s connections to the Heian era, to Tengen, to Yuuji and Choso, is too valuable for them to just be gone.

Anyways, I’m intrigued to see where this will go and what Sukuna will do know that he has the ability to go forward with the Merger. Although I’m confused on why he would even bother doing that or what interest he would have in that.

I’m also interested to see where Gege is trying to go when it comes to themes of love, power, and loneliness when it comes to Sukuna. The theme of “it is lonely to be at the top” is budding into something intriguing, which is why I think Sukuna is fascinating to me. I don’t care to much about his fights, and more of him as a philosophical figure, because he his quite philosophical in and outside of fights. His ending conversation with Kashimo was quite cool. He also can’t stop being very homoerotic towards the enemies he fights and defeats. It’s funny to see hm having fun and being satisfied by an opponent and then being sent into a philosophical crisis over human emotion.

Also I am always fascinated by Gojo fans absolute hope in Gojo coming back. I think this chapter sent them into more of a fervor, I am rooting for them it would be funny to see honestly.