#as if southerners don't want to also live in a progressive state that they feel safe in????

[reverend-meat]

ugh

[tragedyposting]

Remaking an earlier post to clarify some of the wording

Note that strength in sense of identity doesn't necessarily mean you love living in your country, state, region, etc. nor does it mean you uncritically agree with the government of your government, state, municipality, only that you find it important to your understanding of who you are culturally.

Please reblog this version instead, the notes have gone insane on the earlier version with clumsier wording and I really do want to learn more about this. Also I will be making a non-U.S. specific version of this post soon. As usual, if you're not from the U.S. please don't vote on this poll but feel free to shoot me a DM for a screenshot of the results in progress!

[oneatlatime]

The Guru

Happy 2024 everyone and welcome to the first time I managed to type 2024 without first typing 2023! Oh and also a write up of The Guru. That too.

Me too Iroh. Me too.

So Zuko is riding high on that post-crisis 'time to get my life together' buzz that, similar to 3 am life plans, should absolutely not be listened to. Wonder how long before he crashes and burns? There's literally 2 episodes left, so I'm guessing one and a half?

Poor Sokka. My boy's got anxiety.

I don't know if it's a monk thing, an airbender thing, an Avatar thing, or an Aang thing, but I envy his complete lack of nerves.

How is Appa ok with them splitting up for a week after JUST getting them back?

I paused in a funny place. Have bonk-eyed Appa.

I love them comparing heights. What do you want to bet that that guy on the right was one of the youngest allowed to go fight, and Sokka made a big deal about how they're almost the same age and surely that means he can go too, right?

A lot of these Southern Water Tribe people have dreads or braids. That's neat.

Bato's arm is still messed up. That's some good continuity.

I've found the source of Katara's cheek bones. I guess Sokka takes after his mum.

Ok I know this is a really emotional moment (and it is! Sokka's spent two seasons earning this!) but my brain fixated on the furs and briefly thought they were sky bison pelts.

"It's been a difficult week for me." This guy thinks the Kyoshi Warriors are there to provide him therapy. Someone please just crown the bear instead.

He just gave away literally every relevant plot point AND outlined how to make sure all these plot points don't succeed. Crown. The. Bear.

Maybe if these generals spent less time playing with their giant model Earth Kingdom and more time general-ing, the war wouldn't suck so much?

Pretty.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE the designs, the colour palette, the music, the sound design of this air temple. I love everything about it. If I had the chance to live anywhere in the Avatar universe, it would be here. Even in its ruined state it's such a refreshing contrast to the claustrophobia of Ba Sing Se. I can feel the freshness of the breeze through the screen.

"A spiritual brother of your people" an adult perspective on a near extinct culture! What a resource!

"and a personal friend of Monk Gyatso" an old as balls perspective. He's got to be at least 130.

Anthropology cul de sac time: this guy is so valuable as a resource on the Air Nomads. There's probably parts of Air Nomad culture that Aang can't ever accurately talk about, because he was a kid when he left, and there was almost certainly stuff that the adults kept to themselves, or only shared with the older Air Nomads. This Guru doesn't seem to be an Air Nomad himself, but there's a good chance that there is knowledge that he has, that Aang doesn't. Aang should be nerding out more about this. I'll do the nerding out for him.

Aang just breezes right by that Gyatso name drop like it's nothing. Huh.

Oh hey Toph. I'd forgotten she was in a box. Tweedle dum and Tweedle dumber really are quite the pair. What's their plan for keeping her fed and watered? Actually, these guys apparently don't know that maps exist, so it's probably never occurred to them that humans need sustenance. They'll rock up to the Bei Fong estate with corpse Toph and wonder why they aren't getting the reward money.

Mai gets called out in-universe for shopping at Hot Topic.

Ty Lee's buttering up of Azula is getting less and less subtle as the season progresses. It's a testament to Azula's lack of awareness that she's hasn't noticed that, and that Ty Lee can get away with it.

Azula's right that it's an extraordinary opportunity. The King gave them quite literally every piece of info required to overthrow his kingdom in a 25 second conversation. I can't blame her for taking advantage of such an easy win.

That's a very effective unimpressed face. And a very impressive beard.

It's funny to see a spiritual concept from the real world pop up in a show that includes things like bending and giant fish possession. The mention of Chakras kind of sticks out. They couldn't invent a Avatar universe version?

"Once you begin this process, you cannot stop until all seven are open." Well that doesn't feel like foreshadowing at all.

This episode should be called "Aang's self-care Journey." It's about time the kid had a me day that wasn't avoidance-based.

Fear: Losing Katara - makes sense. Losing control of his powers via fish possession - makes sense. The Fire Lord - makes sense. But the Blue Spirit? He helped. Doesn't make sense.

Guilt: Running away - makes sense, although I thought he'd worked through that with Katara in the storm. Nuking that idiot General's base - makes sense, but boy did he quite literally ask for it.

This guru is saying some wonderfully accurate, and realistic, things. I love that he's not taking the Katara route of denying anything is wrong. He's going for the acknowledge, then heal route. And yes, it's unfair of me to compare the emotional maturity of Katara to a century+ old spiritual expert.

I'm going to ruin the immersion here and point out that Sokka's dad's voice actor voiced a bunch of characters in season 1. He's doing an excellent job, but couldn't they get a unique voice for a character that's so important (albeit offscreen) to Sokka?

That's an incredibly roundabout way of avoiding pointing out that the Southern Water Tribe are active participants in a bloody war. Sure, we can show multiple characters with visible scarring from horrific burns, but heaven forbid we imply that the Southern Water Tribe sinks ships. The parameters for what is and isn't appropriate on this show sometimes make no sense.

"Aren't you listening? I said the rest of you men get ready for battle." He hasn't seen his boy in two years, but fifteen minutes in his company and he knows exactly what needs to be said and how. That's some top tier parenting. Dad of the year. Dad of the century. Only decent Dad in this show that isn't technically an uncle.

"Follow your passion Zuko, and life will reward you." Great advice for your eight year old audience. Also a great way to end up unemployed.

Positive Sokka creeped me out a few episodes ago. Now positive Zuko is freaking me out too.

Pretty.

Back to Chakras! Shame: Burning Katara - makes sense. But that's it? To have the inner peace of mind of a twelve year old who's somehow only ever done one thing that he's ashamed of.

Is there anyone in the earth kingdom who isn't stupid? Once again wondering at the network's standards. Visible burn injuries are fine, but Mai can't say 'Shut up." It's got to be Shush up. Although I do seem to recall of brief time in the early 2000s when Shut Up was treated as a curse on par with Shit or Fuck. Maybe that was just at my school.

Chakras again! Even for a show that often has an A, B, and C plot, this narrative is ping ponging around a bit much.

Grief: nothing major, just a whole nation. Makes a horrific amount of sense. but I don't buy that he can get over grieving the whole world as he knew it by thinking about his crush. That's way too high a pedestal for Katara to be placed on.

Lies: Not accepting he's the Avatar. Interesting that not accepting that he's the Avatar and not accepting that he's a firebender are two different problems.

I see you reusing the opening credits footage. Your blue filters can't fool me.

PRETTY

Illusion: So we're relearning what we learned in The Swamp. Aang's probably the person currently alive least likely to believe in the rigid separation of the nations anyway. This doesn't feel like an illusion he's subject to?

The way this episode dances between its narrative threads is so great. It's all woven in so beautifully. And this makes perfect sense! Toph's spent her life secretly doing things excellently that everyone says are completely beyond her capabilities. Life has taught her that the statement "you are not able to" doesn't apply. Of course immutable laws of bending physics are treated with the same respect as an adult telling the champion of the Earth Rumble that she's can't earthbend beyond breathing exercises. If you told her that humans can't fly, she'd figure out how within the week.

Plot collision incoming.

Interesting that Katara initially recognises Zuko by his voice rather than his scar.

I'm pretty sure that Zuko and Iroh don't know about the whole brainwashing thing, but wouldn't it be hilarious if Zuko introduced himself to Katara as Joo Dee, and his uncle Joo Dee, welcome to the Jasmine Dragon, can I take your order? That would throw Katara into one hell of a moral quandary.

Katara being framed as the solution for Chakra number four comes back to bite Aang, as she's the problem in Chakra number seven. I knew that pedestal was too high.

I've changed my mind. This episode should actually be called "Half a dozen reasons why everyone should just learn to keep their goddamn mouths shut already."

So is anyone going to let Zuko and Iroh know that they're now in immediate danger and need to leave, like, yesterday?

I think the Guru is going for the whole 'if you love them, let them go, and they'll come back to you' thing. Don't cling, in other words. But for the sake of the plot he's suddenly lost his ability to explain Chakras in a way that makes them seem like the logical thing to do. The only clunky bit of this episode so far.

May I introduce you to our Lord and Saviour Toph?

"I am the greatest earthbender in the world." Yes. Yep. Yeah. That's now a quantifiable fact, and it's correct. Look on ye mighty and despair. She's even got Bumi beat.

Earth Tongue Running is a bit wonky looking but it covers a crazy amount of distance.

What's the range on Toph's earth sense? Can she sense what direction Ba Sing Se is?

I hope those two idiots' horse bird is ok.

"You don't know how much this means to me dad." He does. Very much so.

Every word out of this guy's mouth is precision engineered to make Sokka feel like a million bucks and I for one think it's about time someone built him up. Also, seeing this makes me realise how few good parents there are in this show. It's a trope of kids' adventure shows that the parents fundamentally can't be there, but I also think it's a commentary on yet another thing that this war has messed up.

Hey look! Being a man is knowing where you're needed the most, and right now that's in Ba Sing Se, protecting your sister! I love narratives that tie their themes up with a pretty bow on top.

This is Azula laying a trap, right? Which means that Katara squealed to someone about the exact location of Iroh and Zuko's tea shop. Don't like the implications of that.

Photos taken seconds before disaster.

Final Thoughts

This episode was a lot! I mean that in a good way! But I felt a bit like the Maxell Blown Away Guy, the way I kept getting assaulted by yet another plot thread. Don't get me wrong, this isn't a criticism. I think the switching between plot threads and the amount of info in this episode worked 99% of the time. But I'm kind of in awe at the balancing act the writers pulled off and I'm sort of sitting here blinking a bit trying to fit all this stuff in my head. I'm probably going to forget half the stuff I wanted to talk about in this write up, so here goes nothing.

Given the Azula reveal in at the end of last episode, I thought that this would be the episode where the shit hits the fan. I was wrong. I'm glad I was wrong. An episode of set up is required and is nice breathing room, even an episode as busy as this. And I got to leave Ba Sing Se! But this does mean that next episode is going to be calamity after calamity.

Aang and his Chakras: I'm fascinated by this guru. I hope he comes back. That brings the total number of people who were alive before the war started up to three: Aang, Bumi, Guru Patik.

I'm impressed that the run through of the Chakras rarely felt like an info dump. The onion and banana juice thing didn't work for me, but I'm sure it worked for people in the target age bracket. Kids love burp jokes.

So many shows sprinkle in tragic backstories for flavour and then never have them influence the character in the present. It was a nice contrast to see a show take a whole episode to tell Aang "yeah all that sucked. It's ok to feel down about it. Here's how you move forward."

Sokka and his dad: Love it. Love it so much. I love seeing Sokka built up, and he definitely deserves it, but I wonder if this is the reward for a character arc well done, or the set up for a character arc that's about to start? Is his dad's praise his prize for crossing the finish line, or is it so he's built up with farther to fall?

I loved seeing more of the Southern Water Tribe. I loved the fashion. There's a lot of variety in accessories and variations on a few basic elements like those knee guard things. I loved their hairstyles. I loved how cozy and communal that command tent felt. I loved their ships. I wonder how often these guys work out, that they can make loading ramps that are presumably deployed and stashed out of the way frequently, out of whole logs rather than planks. I have a bone to pick with the child-friendly sea mine. But it provides a good set up for a dad joke, so I'll let it slide.

Zuko and Iroh: Of course the one time Zuko is allowed to be in a good place, it's so that he and Iroh both have farther to fall when the inevitable happens. Poor guy just can't catch a break. I'd be mad at Azula for the party crashing that I'm assuming she'll do next episode, but it's been established that Zuko has all nice things taken away from him as soon as he gets them, and I can't blame Azula for being a tool of the universe.

Azula & Long Feng: Azula's acting in Long Feng's prison cell was miles ahead of what Long Feng was doing in front of the Earth King, so I'm wondering if Long Feng has bitten off more than he can chew. Also: conspiring with the enemy to bring down your own city just so you can reinstall yourself as the power behind the throne that will presumably cease to exist as soon as the Fire Nation takes control? That is both treasonous beyond description and an incredible case of shooting yourself in the foot. What's Long Feng's plan here?

Toph and the Dunderheads: it says something about the consistency of Toph's characterisation from her introduction onwards that she breaks the universe this episode and my reaction was "that's neat." It's obviously a huge moment, but of course Toph can do that. Toph can do anything. More importantly, Toph knows that Toph can do anything, so Toph routinely does do anything, especially things she shouldn't be able to do. If you had asked me a few episodes back which character would be most likely to fundamentally redefine bending, I would have said Toph, since she's already fundamentally redefined bending with her earth sense sonar vision.

Also Toph just breaks stuff. Things that come into contact with her cease to function as intended and instead function as Toph requires. Look at the two idiots: both successful business owners, one also a successful hoodwinker of the richest family around. But they come into contact with Toph and their brains take an extended vacation.

Katara & the Generals: this plot was more like an extension of Azula's plot than its own standalone thing. You can't blame her for spilling the news about Zuko and Iroh to someone she honestly thought was Suki. Not much else to say about it, although it's cute that she asks for a table for two at the tea shop. Momo gets a chair!

I like that there's a theme this episode of things going wrong despite the best intentions. No one's acting maliciously here apart from the Antagonists. The Earth King is having an honest chat with people he thought were friends. Sokka vouched for people he honestly thought were the Kyoshi Warriors. Katara shares information about a presumed threat with people she honestly thought were her allies. You can quibble with the wisdom of some of these decisions, but there were all done with good intentions. The best laid plans of mice and men oft go awry and all that. It brings to mind that Star Trek quote about how you can do everything right and still lose. And this set up is going to hit harder when whatever goes wrong next episode happens. And something will go wrong. A few months ago I figured that the Season 2 finale would be a triumph, but all signs are pointing towards a tragedy instead.

This episode was visually stunning, the soundtrack in the Air Temple sections especially was very evocative, and I applaud the minds that could juggle that many plot threads at once without dropping any. This one is definitely going on my rewatch list.

[paletigers]

DAI and My Questions as a Trans Guy

So, I recently got into Dragon Age again (thanks @/fullgoob) and I've been sitting here with a thumb up my ass because I really would love to write a fanfic about Solas but I feel like I'm not there yet.

To any DAI fans, or DA fans in general, do we know how Elven and Dalish culture view trans people?

(Long thoughts ahead and very sleep deprived thoughts:)

We obviously only see transness through the lens of the Qun and Krem. (Only speaking to DAI, I haven't played the other games yet.) In the Qun, people are put into gender based on their role in society. In a conversation with Cassandra and Iron Bull, Iron bull states that women who are warriors are considered "men" under the Qun solely based on their role. He also sees Krem as a, for all intents and purposes, as a man not because of his role but because of who he is as a person and because he's just a great guy and cares (poor wording on my part, sorry). Now whether or not the Qun is "progressive" for this isn't what I'm curious about.

I'm curious on the rest of the party. We don't get to see or hear reactions of Krem's gender from anyone else besides Cassandra and Bull, but it's more about Qunari society and less about Krem, and Cassandra makes neither a positive nor negative remark.

So, to make a long story short and get to the point: How would Solas feel about a trans inquisitor? And adding onto that, how do the Dalish treat transgendered people/transexuals? Homosexuality is more "accepted" in Southern Thedas, but the Dalish are really keen on keeping tradition alive and passing down their lore, so I would assume that 'bonding' and child bearing is important one way or another. The acceptance of homosexuality would be on a case to case basis.

I really don't know how the Dalish would treat transgender people, however. I would assume that for the most part, as long as you are fufilling your duty (whether you are to be a keeper, hunter, mage, etc.) it wouldn't bare any issue. The issue of child bearing and keeping up the population and passing down the gift of magic would pose a question, but so would it in the case of homosexuality. I assume that as long as population numbers are steady and there is no active threats against this, trans people and gay people are fine. It would varey from clan to clan.

Now, Solas. I really can't get a read on this guy. I would like to believe he would be accepting (just cause I, unfortunately, love him) but I don't really have any justifications for this (I also don't have justifications for the opposite either, not trying to be negative, lol). Sera, from her point of view, sees the Lavellan/Solas relationship and says Solas probably shouts "Elven glory!" during sex, but that's just from her perspective as a City Elf with her biases towards the Dalish. The most I can gather from my single playthrough of DAI is that Solas would, probably, be super understanding about it. He doesn't have much connection to this world at all, much preferring the Fade, so maybe being transgender is just a new concept to him. Or, maybe it's completely normal, since spirits in the fade just... mimic the lives of mortals. Spirits are completely agender, just encompassing a specific purpose and fufilling that purpose, they have no use for the concept of gender. AND THEN... we know Solas is only straight because Bioware wanted to avoid a negative trope and have him not be bisexual. Because IF Solas lives with agender beings ALL THE TIME then why would he care if the Inquisitor is a woman or not?!

So, as I write this currently, I think I have come to a small conclusion:

I don't think he would "care" in a negative sense. I don't think he would be rude or crass, or even angry about the inquisitor coming out as trans. I don't even think that current canonical straight Solas would care if he was in a relationship with female Lavellan and Lavellan came out as a trans man to him. I think he would probably consider this natural and completely not "odd". Probably would say some shit about how in the fade, a lot of his spirit friends don't have gender either. I feel like he's a guy who just GETS it. He would probably have questions about like, the bodily process of transitioning (I still don't understand how the body magic works. Is it like magical HRT? Do they do like, magical T shots or rub magical T gel? Is there puberty blockers? Do you even have to do voice training? Someone please tell me) and would try his best to understand. If he got rid of your hand could he perform top surgery? Just like rift fade them off your body? Would you trust Solas to do your top surgery? I think I would.

Anyway. Let me know if we got any other opinions or stuff to add onto this. I really want to write some transguy fics with him because there is a SEVERE lack of them on AO3.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not holding my gf's hand in public? Tw for homophobia and violence

My gf and I are both cis women, and we live in the southern us. The city where we live is kind of progressive, but generally this whole state is like fascist and scary for a couple of lesbians on their own. Before anyone says anything about it, moving is not an option. If I had the money to move I'd have the money to ask a therapist this question. I ain't got it fam lol

So anyway we're safe in our neighborhood and among our friends and immediate families (parents/siblings). I'm a very affectionate person. I love my gf and I show that love by touch. All the time. Just not in public.

I will not give her any PDA in public. It is my one line in the sand.

When I was younger and dating my first ever gf two girls about our age in a town not far from me were shot by a homophobe while they were on a date. One girl died. I've never forgotten it. It's been a decade and I still think about it. I think about how young they were and I think about the girl who lived, having to go on knowing that she'd lost someone she cared about so senselessly. I've never been publicly affectionate in any of my relationships because of this.

I explained this to my gf pretty early on. I think being visibly queer in public is brave and admirable and I wish I had that courage, but I don't. I love my gf. Her life is more important to me than making a statement and I told her so.

I struggle with anxiety and my gf knows this, and she knows that I often try to fight my anxiety by doing things that scare me. I get anxious in crowds so if I have to go to the store I'll go first thing in the morning as soon as it opens, but every now and then I'll make myself go in the afternoon just to prove I can, that kinda thing. My gf supports me and tries to help me when I decide to do this.

So when we go out, she does occasionally try to be affectionate with me. To kiss me in the car in the parking lot or hold my hand when she thinks no one is looking. I said the thing about how I try to manage my anxiety to emphasize that I don't think she's ignoring my boundary; I think she's trying to help me be brave, which is something I've expressed to her that I want to do. I don't feel like she's pressuring me when she does this. It's just that because I'm so anxious I'm more vigilant than she is, and often when she thinks no one can see us they can, and I tell her so.

When I tell her no it hurts her feelings. She's never said that explicitly but I know her well and I know when she's hurt or disappointed. She doesn't want to blame me for it but when I turn her down it looks like I'm ashamed of her, even though she knows the reason why. And I feel like an asshole for telling her no, because I do love her and I do want to kiss her and I do wish I was brave enough to do that without worrying. It hurts me to tell her no but I can't ignore the reason why I do. It causes me stress when this happens but I also don't want to tell her to stop because part of me likes that she wants to try. It makes me feel wanted. I don't want that to go away but I hate telling her no and I feel stuck.

So AITA for not touching her in public?

What are these acronyms?

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

People that don't live in the South have no idea what that flag means. There's been a few historians around saying that flag specifically, was not THE Confederate flag, but instead, one of the flags used by them. Our modern history teachers, (not actual historians) also tend to claim that the Civil war was fought primarily over slavery. It was not. It was a large component. But not by most metrics the main "one". That's a cheap bedtime story they tell neo progressives to feel better about themselves. The actual biggest cause for that war WAS states rights. And Lincoln's main goal was to force unity of the US. Ending slavery was a footnote in that, but was pushed up as a "large issues" because it would get public support.

Never you mind that a lot of northern states had slaves still at the time. Which is important historical context.

Most people in the south currently view that flag not as "Racist". They view it as a form of southern pride. Because to a certain degree, at least in a shallow way, it DOES imply "The South". Which were the confederate states. Here's the thing though. North v South has been a thing for a long time. and people move. And so a lot of relocating has gone on for a number of years. And people in the south are used to be seen as the Beverly Hill-Billies, while people from the north were seen as rich, stuck up 90210 types. The term "Stupid Yanks" is one I heard a lot growing up. Because of those stereotypes both sides place on one another, that specific confederate flag started being used as a southern pride flag.

Now. Did a lot of racist people wave that flag? Yes. Were all the people that waved it racist? They were not. Hell if you've ever met a black redneck you'd see that flag just as prominently at their home as a white redneck. Because colloquially these people had changed what the flag meant. And it was not until the 2010's that the flag started to receive large scale criticism.

Which funny enough is on purpose. Because the same thing that happened to that flag in the 2010's, is the same thing happening to the US flag. Where people are saying "Oh well if you see that flag you know people are racist living there". And this is why I hate the internet. It allowed this culture of, "Don't care about nuance, just read headlines, believe everyone at just their word so long as they agree with your 'side', and always become the worst kind of person just because you don't like something."

And worse over. I see comments like the ones above and I go, "Ya know, I hope someone breaks your stuff. If you have anything with the word black on it, just I hope they break it. Why? Because I view that as the starting word for BlackLivesMatter(A scam organization that made millions off a race hustle and caused racial division) or maybe it's the start to Black Identity Extremist."

I can make up any excuse I want to turn the tables. But it's likely that the person you did this to was not racist. Just proud of being a rural southerner. And now if your profile photo is anything to go by, you put the seed in her mind. And if by chance is WAS already there, you watered it. So congratulations. You're creating the people you are so against. The world is a nuanced place in general and we are making it black and white. And personally I hate it.

Also also I second what was said directly above. This is disgusting

the thing that makes my blood boil is the fact that yall dont see the double standard, ‘its okay to destroy art if its problematic’  you are an anti-intellectual and functionally a conservative

A lot of people in the south are conservative and extremely intelligent. Some likely more than you. Also conservatives don't "hate" art. Most of them don't care about it either. Hyper Puritans? Maybe. Modern conservatives for the past 30 years or so? Nah. Also that slight to call conservatives stupid is not warranted. Full statement sounded a lot like "STFU you're making us look bad". Congrats. You did that enough on your own.

SHE IS A TRUE HERO 

[scentedchildnacho]

They were nice people so i told them I have been homeless for like eight years.....and I was watching a reality TV show about marriage and this African couple was explaining a civil war in their home nation so especially after these last two years in the states I need to emigrate away it won't recover or ever get better or be okay for me here

I explained Scott walker like signed documents to have me executed in a jail and his Republican cronies are Jacobins...they have fantasies that innocent people victimize them and they need to feel a victims compensation off me so I need to leave because hunting me is an easy enjoyed sport for them....

They get to be affluent and do whatever they want so if lady fortune is going to be that unjust then I need to just go away their very very creepy intransigent that they get all they feel like here and don't have to have a conscience so

It is the like whole Republican party they claim they liberated slaves and Yankees would need southern inheritance claims so

If it's corn Rowe sunsets and drink and easy misery but getting by their just very very very russo creepy that they get to be Wisconsin

The Russians have very extreme expectations for achievement and I could have a disability plan and there is just no excuse that achievement wouldn't be worthy of my hate so they were too creepy to russians then and they must really need my hatred instead of their own.....

You should see republican pamphlets about what my job hygiene should be or i have attacked them....the Roman Catholic church maybe needs to really thrust hit with its pelvis and they only want blow up dolls then.....

If i don't serve burning hot plates then i gave them a disease....the Republican party is the burns all over my skin....

Well David is a small man and he isn't afraid to be a ho. ...and David will fight Gods enemies away from here i love david...

Theres no need to keep baiting me to get rid of big feed steroid that wont control its negative impulses....

No Russians they maybe were suppose to be like homosexuals with me and instead I was alone too much and left without Them till there has been many occasions I could have died of hygiene...so

Nathan Bedford Forrest of the ku Klux klan...that one Russian can I Them and be all anybody needs so

My homosexual partner maybe prefers I die so it can live the heteronormative fantasy wealth fully....

Its Russians though that model if whites were finally very caucasoid looking they would be beautiful....

No I look like a mongol to them that wouldn't cut the folds off my face yet Botox places it wants to cut me up a lot so I have to go

I also explained to her that there is way too many people in San Diego my allies keep informing me about annoying amounts of nudity and prostitution that she didn't design these spaces for millions of people it's a work port and silage to eat she didn't want millions of people coming here so it would be better if their money and tolerance of prostitution kept winning the space they must be correct my health profile would just die and they can be strong enough to go....

People threaten to kill them if they don't gender conform to go so they must be right they have the criminal strength to territorialize here

The human animals do need a progressive politic that light at that line to get into the club was much to bright piercing severe and creepy like their real Italian stallion of males and real Philly mares...that light was for horses not the human animal but their strong enough to recover so

They do need animal rights activists so

David is from the states and the only people with leisure money to go to a club is apart of the corporate job complex that dissociates everyone from their forefathers....

That's why I try to not be too into David he will really kill a lot that won't stop oppressing God's people

I love david that's why I ask him for mercy....

The sales people aren't happy if they do appropriations

This other homeless person was explaining to me don't I think it was maybe a gay or lesbian that called me weird....

If you ask me a cop I have is maybe a lesbian

Who is like my friend who warns me that's all they give me to do compared to what she has to do

I told him I mostly find lesbian philosophy cynical.....and in most ways normative till it is really shocking to see LGBT become non existent to people or just a research use for heteronormativity

I mostly just say I'm a lesbian so people realize I like women as friends and companions and I like being a woman....

Otherwise poor and militants everywhere and males kept wanting to call me gay and for fucking into transexual life and I'm not gay and I don't fuck

I'm so not gay and I totally don't fuck.....

Truthfully women's world is so social there truly wouldn't be anything without religious theory of what are they or we going to do for men

So I usually act primarily heteronormative for survival but truthfully I don't care about men as much as I do women it's always been women I could rely on and took care of me

So those psychiatrists with compass my race by Hollywood gets called a tomboy that wants a domestically abused lady to support and in actuality I'm pretty effete and domestically abused women are a lot more interesting then that

I actually hate being called daddy and I'm glad that full figured gets the psychiatric job has slowly decided it's psychopathy isn't working and has slowly decided to leave....

They finally got bored of stealing off street programs to have stuff and justify not going to jail by calling me a patient to not have my stuff

[nevermindirah]

Do you have any thoughts on the use of AAVE for Nile (or lack thereof) in TOG fanfiction? I've been reading some Book of Nile fic and some writers seem to write her as a Millennial™ (using words like "fave" and "woke") but never acknowledge her Blackness in her patterns of speech. I know we don't see her use as much AAVE in the films, but I would argue she's in situations where code-switching would be valued (first in a "professional" environment in the army, then around a group of non-Black strangers).

Hi anon! I have many thoughts on this and I'm honored you asked me! But I should start by saying I'm white and any thoughts Black fans and especially Black American fans have on this that they want to share would be beyond lovely. (I'm not gonna tag anybody bc that feels rude but please add onto this post if any of y'all see this and want to!)

The main reason I personally avoid AAVE for Nile in my own fics is because I'm not Black. But Nile-centric fics by Black writers tend to avoid using much of it too, at least from what I've noticed/understood, and my guess is it's largely for the reason you mention, that she's in situations that encourage code-switching.

In movie canon Nile is highly competent at tailoring her language to each situation she finds herself in. This fantastic linguistics analysis meta shows how skillfully Nile chooses her vocabulary and grammar to meet her goals with different conversation partners in different contexts. In comics canon Nile had a bunch of different civilian jobs before joining the Marines, so she would've had experience code-switching in the ways that made sense for all those different contexts as well as the Marines and her family and high school and wherever else she spent her time before we met her. And now she's spending her time with a handful of immortals none of whom are native English speakers and a fellow Black American but one with a Queen's English UK accent whose professional experience is in the CIA where high-status code-switching is often an absolute must for success or even survival.

Fics featuring Nile are charged with extrapolating from that to how it might show up in her use of language that she's coping with a traumatic separation from her family and her career and pretty much everything she's ever known and now she needs to be able to make herself understood to people who seem to care about her and each other but are super duper in crisis, three (soon to be four) of whom predate Modern English entirely and the only one who's anywhere near her contemporary she's not supposed to talk to for a century. All of these people are telling her that pretty much any contact with any mortals poses an existential threat to her and the rest of the group. How the FUCK is she supposed to cope with that, like, generally? And would it be a more effective way for her to cope if she talked to Andy Joe and Nicky using the speech patterns that she used to use with her mom and brother, to at least retain that part of her identity even if it means having to do a lot of explaining, or would it meet her needs better to prioritize Andy Joe and Nicky understanding what she means with her words over using the particular words and grammar forms she used with her family?

I've seen several fics, both Nile-centric / BoN and otherwise, explore this a little bit in how/whether Nile uses Millennial™ speak. It's often a theme in Nile texting Booker despite the exile because of the popular headcanon that he as The Tech Guy is the only other immortal who understands memes. But Nile's much-younger-than-Booker mom probably uses Boomer and/or Gen X memes and Andy has been adapting to new communication styles for forever as evidenced by her canon high level of fluency with standard-American-accented English.

Which brings us back to people avoiding AAVE because they're not Black and they don't want to make mistakes (or they're not Black and they don't want to get yelled at for making mistakes, though I think many people overestimate how much they'll get yelled at while underestimating how much these mistakes can hurt). I can imagine some Black fans hold back from using much AAVE in fic because they don't want to share in-group stuff with white people who are likely to then adopt and ruin it, as white people so often do with Black cultural stuff. Some links about this including a great Khadija Mbowe video. I'm saying this gently, anon, because you might not know: woke, an example you cited as Millennial™ speak, is AAVE, and that's gotten erased by so many white people appropriating it and using it incorrectly online.

And also there's the part where fandom is a hobby and you never know when you're reading a fic that's the very first thing someone's ever written outside of a school assignment. This cultural considerations of language shit takes a level of effort and skill that not everybody puts into every fic, or even could if they wanted to because they haven't had time to build their skills yet. It's definitely easier for non-Black fans to project our millennial feels onto Nile than to do the layers of research and self-reflection it requires to depict what Blackness might mean to Nile, and it's not surprising that often people sharing their hobby creations on the internet have gone the easier route. There's not even necessarily shame in doing what's easier. It's just frustrating and often hurtful when structural white supremacy means that 3-dimensional Black characters are rare in media and thoughtful explorations of them in fandom are seen by the majority of fans as not-easy to make and therefore Nile Freeman, the main character in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood, has the least fic and meta and art made about her of our 5 main immortals.

I've been active in different fandoms off and on for twenty years and I barely managed to write 5,000 words about Sam Wilson across multiple different fics in the 7 years since I fell in love with him. There's an alchemy to which characters we connect with, and on top of that which characters we connect with in a way that causes us to create stuff about them. Something about Nile Freeman finally tipped me over the edge from a voracious reader to a voracious writer. It's not for me to judge which characters speak to other individuals to the level of creating content about them, but I do think it's important for us to notice, and then work to fight, the pattern where across this fandom as a whole Nile gets way less content, and way less depth in so much of the content that's in theory about her, than any of these other characters.

Anyway, back to language. My two long fics feature Nile with several Black friends — Copley and OCs and cameos from other media — but all of those characters except Alec Hardison from Leverage aren't American. It's very possible I'm guilty of stereotyping Black British speech patterns in I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore. I watched hours and hours of Black haircare YouTube videos in the research for that fic and I modeled my OCs' speech patterns on what I heard from some of those YouTubers as well as what I've heard people like John Boyega and Idris Elba saying in interviews, but the thing about doing your best is you still might fuck up.

I'm slowly making progress on my WIP where Nile and Sam Wilson are cousins, and what ways of talking with a family member might be authentic for Nile is a major question I need to figure out. For that, I'm largely modeling my writing choices on how I hear my Black friends and colleagues talking to each other. I haven't overheard colleagues talking in an office in a long-ass time, but back when that was a thing, I remember seeing a ton of nuance in the different ways many of my Black colleagues would talk to each other. Different people have different personalities! And backgrounds! And priorities! A few jobs ago my department was about 1/3 Black and we worked closely with Obama administration staff many of whom were Black and there was SO MUCH VARIETY in how Black people talked to each other, about work and workplace-appropriate personal stuff, where I and other white coworkers could hear. There are a few work friends in particular who I have in my head when I'm trying to imagine how Sam and Nile might talk to each other. From the outside looking in, God DAMN is shit complicated, intellectually and interpersonally and spiritually, for Black people who are devoting their professional lives to public service in the United States.

One more aspect of this that I have big thoughts on but I need to take extra care in talking about is the idea of acknowledging Nile's Blackness in her patterns of speech. There's no one right way to be Black, and Nile's a fictional character created by a white dude but there are plenty of real-life Black Americans who don't use much or even any AAVE, for reasons that are complicated because of white supremacy. (Highly highly recommend this video by Shanspeare on the harms of the Oreo stereotype.)

Something that's not the same but has enough similarity that I think it's worth talking about is my personal experience with authenticity and American Jewish speech patterns. My Jewish family members don't talk like they're in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and I've known lots of people who do talk that way (or the millennial version of it), some of whom have questioned my Jewishness because I don't talk that way. That hurts me. Sometimes when another Jew tells me some shit like "I've never heard a Jew say y'all'd've," I can respond with "well now you have asshole, bless your Yankee-ass heart," because the myth of Dixie is a racist lie but I will totally call white Northerners Yankees when they're being shitty to me for being Southern, and this particular Jew fucking revels in using "bless your heart" with maximum polite aggression, especially with said Yankees. But sometimes I don't have it in me to say anything and it just quietly hurts having an important part of me disbelieved by someone who shares that important part of me. The sting isn't quite the same when non-Jews disbelieve or discount my Jewishness, but that hurts too.

Who counts as authentically Jewish is a messy in-group conversation and it doesn't really make sense to explain it all here. Who counts as authentically Jewish is a matter of legal status for immigration, citizenship, and civil rights in Israel, and it's my number 2 reason after horrific treatment of Palestinians that I'm antizionist. But outside that extremely high-stakes legal situation, it can just feel really shitty to not be recognized as One Of Us, especially by your own people.

It can also feel really shitty to be The Only One of Your Kind in a group, even if that group is an immortal chosen family who all loves each other dearly. Sometimes especially in a situation like that where you know those people love you but there are certain things they don't get about you and will never quite be able to. I'm definitely projecting at least a little bit of my "lonely Jew who will be alone again for yet another Jewish holiday" stuff onto Nile when at the end of I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore she's thinking about being the only Black immortal and moving away from the community she'd built with a mostly-Black group of mortals in that fic. Maybe that tracks, or maybe that's fucked up of me.

Basically, this got very long but it's complicated, writing about experiences that aren't your own takes skill which in turn takes time and practice to build, writing about experiences not your own that our society maligns can cause a lot of harm if done badly, it can also cause a lot of harm when a large enough portion of a fandom just decides to nope out of something that's difficult and risky because then there's just not much content about a character who deserves just a shit ton of loving and nuanced content, people are individuals and two people who come from the exact same cultural context might show that influence in all kinds of different ways, identity is complicated, language is complicated, writing is hard, and empathy and humility and doing our best aren't a guarantee of avoiding harm but they do go a long way in helping people create thoughtful content about a character as awesome and powerful and kind and messy and scared and curious and WORTHY as Nile Freeman.

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image IDs: Tumblr tags. Image #1: #i love my city #i love Appalachia #i Want to be able to live here #and fuck anyone who tells me i shouldnt.

Image #2: #i bitch about texas but - ignoring the fucked weather systems and legislation - it's a really cool place #it is cheap to live here #there is no income tax #the food and cultural mixing is phenomenal #but unfortunately #a lot of politicians want me and people like me to fucking die (start all caps) #this wasn't even your house #this was Mexico #and then it was its own country #white people are guests be thankful you weren't shot on sight (end all caps) #looking at you Gregory I wish that tree had killed you.

Image #3: #I live in Utah and everyone here assumes if you're queer you want to move #I actually love my hometown all my friends and family are here I don't want to start over somewhere else #There are also a lot of supportive groups and micro communities here that need nuturing #Every day here queer kids are being told to swallow their true selves for God as of God loves them better that way #I want them to have a community here you can tell them being who they are is not a sing #like it did for me.

Image #4: #literally #I'm from sc and I love it here !! #I love my town I love my neighbors I love the natural beauty I love the way that this place feels #yes there are bad people here. yes our government sucks. but in the middle of that are people who are just people. #people who want to live here. #people who are fighting to live here and to make this place feel like home for everybody #don't pull that 'ugh The South' shit on me!! no place is a monolith and people in red states are not somehow less for living here #(looks at my parents - who themselves chose to live here and now don't understand why I don't want our family to move) #anyway I love all my fellow people from red states and I am giving you all a little smooch #we deserve to feel safe and happy and to live in the places we call home.

Image #5: #you can drag my cold dead body out of florida #i was born in the swamp and i am staying in this fucking swamp.

Image #6: #kansas is fighting so hard! i deserve to stay in my home!

Image #7: (start all caps) #just try to take me out of Appalachia #fucking try it (end all caps) #I will release my grip on rural southern queer redneck life when they throw my ashes off Mt. Mitchell and not a second before

Image #8: #I dont want to be pushed out of iowa #i want to stay here #i have family here #i know they will stay here #i know so many queer people here #leaving here sounds like breaking up with my home #i want to fight for this places and to fight for the communities that made me who i am

Image #9: #fuck everywhere else. I'm dying from a super volcano while in the woods like a man. #not that that super volcano is going to go off randomly there'd be so so so many signs please stop spreading the idea that Yellowstone could #go off at any second. it's like the most heavily monitored volcano in the world and I'm way more likely to die falling off a cliff and injur #ing my already weak ankle. #Like idk I like the nature here. I like the culture here. it's my home and yeah it's shit but it doesn't have to stay that way.

Image #10: #i like my city i like my state #it isnt perfect and you have to drive everywhere #but this is my home u know? #i dont want to move away from nebraska. its where ive always been and where i feel i belong. and it sucks here but we're making progress no matter how little. #we arent as deeply red as other states #if anything we're like a reddish purple color #but hey point is. #i like it here. #i just want to be able to live here #also if everyone moves to blue states the red states stay red.

Image #11: #Missouri here #I am on the fence about staying here #but I can't leave my family #they are a huge reason I'm alive today and it would wound me to move anywhere farther away from them

Image #12: #i live in louisiana #i love the south #i love my fellow southern queers #the way people from blue states talk about us is Why we're so suspicious of quote unquote outsiders #you all treat us like we're stupid and ignorant and hateful #without giving enough of a damn to actually know us.

Image #13 #i've lived in indiana nearly my whole live #as much as i complain about it here. bc there's a lot to complain about. i genuinely like the big city i grew up near and work in now. #I'm moving soon for different reasons but like. i genuinely like the midwest. hostile to queer people though it may be. #it's complicated! but i dont want to have to move to the coasts where its expensive as all hell and where i have no connections #just to live in a place that's a blue state.

Image #14: #hi fellow queer appalachians hi how's it going i know the answer is bad #some of the coolest bitches i know live here and are fighting the good fight #actually in a lil group myself. anyway everyone there is rad and none of us should have to leave #listen i know i said earlier i think about going to md constantly but also i shouldn't have to #WV is really cool it's beautiful we have fascinating history i love this state and i wish it didn't suck so bad #anyways fuck blue state classist libs i am fucking strangling them #"dumb hicks voted for it" google gerrymandering google voter suppression fucking talk to marginalized people in the south /End IDs]

USAmericans: This pride month, talk to the queer people who actually live in all those bad evil icky red states and find out what it's actually like, how we actually feel about it, and who here is actively fighting against it. No more telling us to "just leave" or reducing us to innocent victims who are "trapped" here. There are so many of us and we live here for so many reasons, none of which should be justified. We are resilient, we are powerful, and we are fighting against the fascist laws working to eradicate us or scare us away. Being trans in a red state right now is in and of itself an act of resistance. That being said, pay attention to the brave souls on the front lines, pushing against the laws, making good trouble, and refusing to be silenced.

I won't let myself be talked about like I'm stupid to live here.

I won't let myself be talked about like I'm a helpless victim who's trapped here.

If you can't join the fight by standing beside us, then the least you can do is empower us, amplify our voices, and pay more attention to the ones who are FIGHTING AGAINST THESE LAWS than you are to the chucklefucks trying to pass them.

[willel]

Oh. You know a movie Stranger Things took inspiration from that takes place in California?

I totally forgot about this. 👀

It's called.... Poltergeist! Shocking right?

If you haven't seen Poltergeist (1982), you definitely should. It's almost required watching at this point. Don't expect it to be super scary by today's horror movie standards. At best it'd be PG-13 and it was made before PG-13 was a thing so it's just PG.

If you haven't seen the movie, SPOILERS!

Poltergeist takes place in a newer housing development in California.

The movie starts off similarly to Stranger Things. We see the every day lives of these characters living their best life, chilling during a sunny afternoon. The dad is watching a football game with the boys. The mom is cooking food I think. The kids are playing around. Etc.

As the movie progresses, weird stuff starts happening throughout the home. The daughter, Carol Anne, starts hearing voices throughout the house and the TVs. Their kitchen becomes a weird playground for the ghosts where they rearrange the seating and even send you flying across the room (in a good way) if you sit in the right spot. It's all innocent fun.

Until one night, a not so friendly entity seems to make itself known. During the night of the storm, the tree in their yard becomes possessed and literally tries to eat their son. While they're distracted with that, the evil spirit kidnaps Carol Anne through her own closet to another dimension.

From there, the plot plays out similarly to Stranger Things. Carol Anne (aka Will Byers) still somehow makes her presence known to her family, but mostly her mother Diane (who is confirmed in sequel films to be supernaturally sensitive, as is Carol Anne herself hence the kidnapping by the spirits)

With the help of an "expert" supernatural team, Diane braves entering the dimension herself to get Carol Anne out.

The peace doesn't last long though. Angered that Carol Anne was taken from it, the main evil spirit goes nuclear, attacking the family while the father, Steven, was away for a few hours. The spirit tries again to drag Carol Anne AND her brother back to the other side.

Diane, in trying to rescue her babies, does everything she can to get to them. At some point she ends up outside and falls into their half built pool. Bodies them float out of the pool all around her. It's pretty scary.

Unbeknownst to the main characters and their neighbors, the houses were built on top of a cemetery. Problem is, they only moved the headstones, not the bodies. That's why all the spirits are around, good and bad.

They manage to narrowly escape the house with the children as the house starts to collapse in on itself until it quite literally disappears. The rest of the neighborhood also starts to fall apart as caskets and skeletons just start shooting out of the ground like a zombie movie except the zombies don't actually move, they just wanted to let you know they're chilling down below. Lol

But back to the main reason I wrote this post...

Wouldn't it be interesting if the Byers got this awesome deal on this awesome house in California, something they wouldn't normally be able to afford. But then everything starts falling apart in the house or something?

Like "Wow, for some reason, this house is weirdly close to the boundary between the upside down and right side up!"

How that would be possible, I dunno. Maybe the houses were build on some old military or government facility that wasn't properly cleaned or sealed up. That happens right?

I just looked it up. Yep. The Department of Energy (aka the same people from Hawkins Lab)

The Santa Susana Field Laboratory is a complex of industrial research and development facilities located on a 2,668-acre (1,080 ha)[1] portion of the Southern California Simi Hills in Simi Valley, California. It was used mainly for the development and testing of liquid-propellant rocket engines for the United States space program from 1949 to 2006,[1] nuclear reactors from 1953 to 1980 and the operation of a U.S. government-sponsored liquid metals research center from 1966 to 1998.[2] The site is located approximately 7 miles (11 km) northwest from the community of Canoga Park and approximately 30 miles (48 km) northwest of Downtown Los Angeles. Sage Ranch Park is adjacent on part of the northern boundary and the community of Bell Canyon along the entire southern boundary.

Apparently the site is/was still there and is very contaminated, affecting the communities surrounding it.

So here's a... theory, I guess? Or just a fanfiction idea. The Byers get this awesome deal for this brand new house. The Byers, the people who usually can't afford anything, gets this new house and it's SO nice. Despite all the angst they probably still feel after season 3, they all gotta admit a new house is pretty awesome and they love it?

But the longer they live there (which I imagine won't be too long), weird stuff starts happening around them. Maybe El gets nightmares. Maybe they feel like they're being watched. Maybe Will continues getting the horrible chill down his spine.

And they soon realize not only is the Department of Energy down the street (the same government agency behind El's horrific childhood), they also have secretly contaminated the entire surrounding area and have possibly weakened the barrier between the real world and the Upside Down or something???

I dunno. Like I said, at least it'd be a cool fanfiction idea!

Like seriously, I would totally read this.

The Byers get this weird house deal in California. They love it. Joyce and Jonathan get jobs. Jonathan gets a friend, Joyce too maybe. Everything seems kinda ok for once.

But El and Will's school sucks. El starts having nightmares. Will starts getting chills he can't get rid of. Jonathan's friend starts telling him strangely familiar weird things he saw once while he was high. Joyce notices someone is following her around.

Yessssssss

Hard part is, I have no idea how I'd tie a fic like that back into Hawkin's or the whole Hopper plot. Hm.

[tuesdayx]

So I thought it would be fun to do a song-by-song breakdown of our latest album Essential.

Essential started as some rough demos designated for a side project in late 2019, which then became our largest album to date in terms of song selection. Many of the themes deal with learning to cope with the changing world thanks to Covid, with a perspective of someone who had to keep working at an "essential" job with no option of self-quarantine. I was happy to continue working and being able to pay my bills over the past year, but there was always elements of stress, fear, and tension lingering over myself and everyone else in my position.

So here we go; starting from the top let's look at the Songs of Tuesday X's 6th album Essential.

1. Jet Fuel Can't Melt Steel Beams: the title was a reference to the 9/11 conspiracy memes, which as stated in the opening lines, "has nothing to do with this song." Written in January of 2020 before Covid had made any significant impact in the US, the song touches on many themes which happened to occur throughout the year, such as [another] Californian forest fire (Australia too), new diseases (Covid), a riot (the BLM movement over the summer, which I will state everything that movement has been fighting for is 100% justified and the United States is in desperate need of Police reform, as does our political system which has remained inherently racist to this day.), Civil War (and exaggeration for sure, but the civil unrest and political division in our country will soon split us apart further), more corporate giants(companies like Amazon profited more from this Pandemic than ever before and have helped further the gap between the American working class and the top 1%). Favorite line: "I won't get philosophical, I only wanted your attention."

2. The Only Difference Between You and Me is a Sense of Apathy and Your Brand New Nikes: This song is a blithing criticism of the American political system. Our two party system has left Americans with a choice between "the lesser of two evils" and allows politicians with no true interest in our needs to rise to power. The use of 3rd parties as an alternative is a overly simple compromise that would only just begin to alleviate the problems created in our political system. Both of our main parties are considered conservative parties to the rest of the world, and any progressive measures that would benefit society and reduce the effects of climate change are considered radical and preposterous by politicians with financial stakes in our crooked system where corporatations hold control and the people are treated as fuel for an otherwise worthless currency. Favorite line: "Listen to the radio, they played my favorite song. Now I'm bored and wanting more."

3. Blame it on the Elves: the title is a reference to an episode of the Podcast "Lore" by Aaron Menke (i can't recall which episode, but you should check it out anyway because it's great listen.) An instrumental interlude inspired by ragtime music of the 1920-30's, with an edge of course.

4. Class of Dropouts: This song was written when I was 16 during my sophomore year of high school and was originally featured on my now unavailable album "trees" before adopting the Tuesday X monicker. I brought it back 6 years later because I loved how raw and punk it was. The lyrics are dorky but I decided to leave them as is, it's a cool track for high school stoners to blare and let out their teen angst. Favorite line: "Walking in on my friends fucking."

5. Polaroids on My Bulletin Board: This is a song about growing up. As a 22 year old (now 23) who decided not to go to college straight out of high school, I felt isolated from my peers in a way. By going into the workfield right away I sometimes feel like I skipped a few years and missed out on a lot of opportunities. I regret not leaving my hometown sooner than I did and chasing my dreams of being a touring musician in a band. More often than not I reminisce of my youth playing shows and getting into trouble, as I now feel old and out of place in a scene I grew up in. Favorite line: "I know what it's like to be alive, I know what it's like to live a lie."

6. Labradoodle Underpass: Going back on the theme of growing up, this is about my recent experience with shows as an adult. When I was a teenager I felt ambitious and ready for anything, and I would drop literally everything to go to the nearest show. As an adult I feel introverted and constantly anxious about the world around me. I've missed out on a lot of great shows due to my own self doubt's and anxiety. Now that shows have been canceled for over a year I feel even more regret by not appreciating them more while I could. Favorite line: "23 years and a lingering fear that anything could happen, why am I here?"

7. Some Shit: This was me trying to be modest mouse lol jangly guitars and half talking/half singing vocals describing the world around me. I guess in a way it was an exercise in writing character description and setting, but otherwise it's just a chill track that almost feels aimless at parts. Favorite Line: "it's just some shit I learned from a friend. Just some shit I learned when I was trying to prepare."

8: Woe is the World: On the album this is a chorus snippet that barely a minute long (the full version is available as a bonus track on bandcamp, and it was actually a demo that turned out better than the final version.) I originally wrote this song when I was 15 with a different set of lyrics, but I came back to it while writing this album and re-wrote it to reflect my mental state and the world around me. Overall, just another melancholy track in a sea of melancholy songs. Favorite line: "you've never felt more alone than you do now, was everything worth it in the end?"

9. Then Why Was it Named Gideon?: the title is a reference to a line in Scott Pilgrim's Finest Hour (my favorite series) and like the first track on this album doesn't have much to do with the song. "Gideon" is a simple love song, talking again about how growing up sucks but having the right person by your side can make all the shitty times worth it in the end. Favorite line: "it's time to move on, you're taking too long."

10. I am Here, I'm Looking at Her, and She is Beautiful: This song is entirely about the book "Perks of Being a Wallflower". That's it. Nothing else, let's move on. Favorite line: "Over Christmas I read them a poem about a brown paper bag and the boy who wrote it."

11. Try to Be a Filter, Not a Sponge: Like the previous song, this one is also mostly about "Perks of Being a Wallflower", but with elements of my own experience with toxic relationships. I like to think of it as the character Charlie's experience with Mary Elizabeth overall though. Favorite line: "She called my favorite book washed out trash, said I have no taste and I'm still too sad."

12. Lavender Spray Bottle: This instrumental dates back to 2017. I recorded the guitar part as a demo on my phone and forgot about it. Over time I forgot how to play the guitar part, so I used the demo as a basis and layered everything else on top of it. The title is a reference to a bottle of water with lavender essential oils mixed in that my ex used to fend away spiders in the house we lived in at the time.

13. Hindsight is 2020: I will admit, this is my favorite song on the whole album and was actually the last to be written and recorded. With a simple guitar part and layers of vocals, this song is a direct reflection of life during the peak of the pandemic. With curfews in place and rising case counts, I had to learn to cope with life at home during my late nights away from work. My partner was quarantined during this time and I reflected on the mental strain this put on her. Favorite line: "Don't go to work, you need the money but you're not happy when you're there. Sometimes life is so unfair."

14. I Don't Know How to Deal With Serious Emotions Without Turning Them into a Fucking Joke: the title came from a meme I found on my phone from high school. The song itself was about my own inability to handle serious emotions without coming off as sarcastic. In both the music and lyrics, the song starts as a simple confession before exploding into raw chaos. Favorite line: "it's so hard. I'm so scared, what have I become?"

15. Say Hello to My Little Friend: the last instrumental on this album. A short haunting tune that reflects the final two tracks. The title is probably a reference to Rambo or something, but I never watched it and I thought it fit the feeling of this song.

16. Minneapolis: What became one of the most emotional tracks on this song actually began as a joke. My partner was snap chatting a friend one night and they asked me to write them a song on the spot. So I improvised the first two verses and chorus of this song, referencing her going to school there at the time. I found I actually liked what I had written however, so I refined the track and changed it from a sassy country song into a melancholic lament of my experience in the twin cities and southern Minnesota. Favorite line: "I miss Camp Snoopy, and Paul Bunyon's log flume ride that went around the whole damn mall."

17. Before the Sunrise: the final song on the album is an intimate look at my relationship with my partner. Through past experiences i have become riddled with self doubt and always looking at improving myself as a person. With hopes that one day I'll be the person I'd like to be for mine and their sake, it's an optimistic tribute to my best friend. Favorite line: "the cycle ends until the sun rises again, you're my best friend."

Thank you all so much! Check out Essential and our other music on Bandcamp, Spotify, Apple, and other places! I hope you all enjoyed this personal look at these songs that got me through the worst parts of 2020.

[booksloth91]

Day 72 10/16/18

Tuesday

Mon Amour stayed home again. I had a hard time getting up because I didn't feel good. I went to work though.

Work was fine, it was really exciting at the beginning because I was on the hunt for a check with my boss, then it was a few easier tasks. I know I was getting sick because I was a little dazed at my desk, and trying to figure out what to do next when my boss asked me if I was okay. I told I think I am getting sick. He was joking sort of "no, don't get sick". I told him I would try not to and went home a couple minutes early.

When I got home I felt terrible. Mon Amour said I looked terrible. I started coughing more, my throat hurt, I had a fever, and I hurt. I cried trying to get out of my leggings and into pjs.

Mon Amour fixed up the couch, I ate leftovers of my Chinese food. I also had a glass of orange juice. Mon Amour played Skyrim, he also did clean-up chores. It was really great of him to do all that. I am so thankful to him, he does so much, and it means so much.

The Kid went to school and came back. Mon Amour was feeling beeter than me.

He and the Kid went to the bank to cash the Kid's birthday money and go to a psych appointment.

I mostly stayed on the couch. I did some nonprofit research for my friend who was looking for ethics and best practice and other information and sent it to her.

Another research project was not as fun. I am still not sure how I feel but my feelings did get hurt.

One of the guys in my DND group had an idea for a Southern Gothic campaign set in the deep South with all the magical races and everything. He considered setting it in Lousianna, which is all well and good until he brought up Vodou. He wanted to use it as part of the campaign, and the introduction.

I made a point of saying, that's not a really good idea, it's a form of appropriation. Vodou gets a bad rep, has struggles being seen as legitimate and gets sensationalized in media, including rpgs, it might be best to avoid usong that in your game, and can be seen as disrespectful.

I did say this in group chat, and the guy in question is white bread white.

The weird thing was the others being upset by my mentioning it. Or stating that this could be disrespectful to a living religion. Saying things like "it's just a game", or "I am religious too, but..." Or the "historical accuracy" arguments.And others telling me to chill, when I was being pretty chill. I wasn't attacking I was literally just stating that Vodou is a living religion and to use it in an rpg for ambiance is a form,of appropriation and not cool to do. Or my favorite that came from someone "Isn’t it up to these groups what they are and aren’t ok with this or not? If we care that much, it’s not ok to just assume that this isn’t ok with people who practice this". This statement here is super offensive. 1. I am a part of a witchcraft religion and find this to be super disrespectful to another Craft religion. 2. I know Vodou practitioners and they would find this offensive. 3. I am a religious studies major and I studied religious theory and polytheistic religions including indigenous and know that Vodou is a closed religion. 4. You are saying that out of respect, you don't want to assume what you are doing is disrespectful, because you want these groups to speak for themselves. This is a super convoluted thought and the logic is so twisted so that you doing the thing you want to do isn't disrespectful (even when it is), it smacks of white priveldge and ignorance. And super NOT COOL. 5. Its appropriation without my credentials and is still super not cool.

The DM stepped in on the chat but I did feel ganged up on. The group has been presented as rather open minded and rather progressive. This conversation made me really uncomfortable.

For the record, our DM used Wicca as part of her game, it wasn't done to add ambience or exoticism. In the world we are playing in there is a whole city-state that Wicca is the major religion. Which is cool. She wanted us to be arriving at the city during a major festival, Spring Equinox. She wanted to be respectful. She reached out to me and asked how Ostara is celebrated, asked about the holiday. And she and I talked in detail and at length about what it would look like and what would be legitimate and not sensationalism. I even found DND deities that might be worshipped at that time of year by the magical folks in that world. How a city wide festival might look. She did not describe a ritual but she described an altar accurately, and described what would be used in decorations accurately. And did so with respect, showing what it would look like in a dystopian world that Wicca became a majority religion. Part of the reason, she asked me if it would be okay in the first place as a person who has knowledge and practices if it would be okay to use it, and she took the time to listen to me about the holiday and incorporated the beliefs into the game without making it an exotic big deal.

The guy with the Vodou idea, was not doing any of this and was quite rude when presented with the information.

After Superwoman DM stepped into the conversation, I sent her why I was saying what I was saying, I wasn't angry, I was just perturbed. I wanted my acquaintance to not be a disrespectful person. She suggested I tell him what Ibtold her in the way I told her.

I sent him in detail why I was concerned and why I chose to approach him. He had the gall to say he will make a decision once he has consulted "official resources". I still wanting to be helpful offered him a resource list I had, because I have read quite a lot about Vodou, and wanted to give him non-sensationalist and accurate academic resources. He was a jerk, but I sent them to him anyway.

I am still upset and feeling uncomfortable with what happened.

Mon Amour came home from taking the Kid to the Kid's mom, and doctor's appointment.

Mon Amour said the doctor thinks the Kid could use more structure. He told me I should feel vindicated and gave me a little time to be so. I took the moment to say "I told you so." I was mostly joking. However, I have been saying structure is needed for 3 years.

After, we talked a bit about some of the ways Mon Amour wants to introduce structure. I asked how the Kid was going to buy in or follow the rules. I want to know how the rules will be kept consistent, because inconsistency with rules makes them useless. We also discussed negative consequences, he feels it's too late to introduce them, I am worried about the struggle the Kid will have if he doesn't learn to negotiate them before he enters the adult world. Mon Amour said he wasn't sure and asked to not talk about these things right now, as the conversation wasn't going where he thought it would. I agreed. And we changed the subject.

We chatted about some other things like the evening's plan and about a gym membership, and what Mon Amour wants to do with theatre right now. We also talked about his taking better self-care Him time.

We had a knock on the door for a campaigner for the November ballot. And not long after Sunshine came over, Mon Amour gave her the cupcakes that we had for her and her sister. It was good to see her, Mon Amour qalked Sunshine to her car, and came back in.

We talked a few more minutes about desires for the house, and his decision on Theatre for the time being. And about adjusting the schedule.

After we were done talking we snuggled on the couch and watched more Hilda. The Kid came home while Mon Amour was getting food (leftovers) for us to eat.

The Kid was wanting to share things about his gecko, and food supply, and wanted Mon Amour's attention and was grumpy when reminded that it was date night. Mon Amour and I ate and cuddled and watched more Hilda, the Kid interrupted a couple times after being told it was date night. I paused the show, but was frustrated by the interruption, because the Kid had been told this is our date night. It wasn't very respectful of him. I try really hard not to interrupt his time one on one with his dad, it feels like he doesn't even think or consider before walking in interrupting, and expecting us to listen to him when Mon Amour and I are having one on one time. I wish he wouldn't act so rudely.

Anyway, Mon Amour and I did very much enjoy watching Hilda. He is just as delighted with the show as I am. We both really like the music, and the art style. Representation in the show is also fantastic. We talked about what we really liked.

After Hilda, Mon Amour read me Winnie The Pooh A.A. Milne. We read Piglet Sees A Heffalump. It is always nice to have Mon Amour read aloud. I like Pooh Bear when I am feeling sick.

After, Mon Amour helped the Kid with ordering items with birthday money, and went to the grocery store for bunny food. He finished up a couple chores again of which I am so grateful. I fed the bunnies, and got ready for bed.

Mon Amour gave me sexual touch before bed at my request and I was very satisfied. I was totally ready for sleep.

He got into bed, and we fell asleep snuggled close.

I had dreams last night. They were dreams where I was upset. I was a teenager? Early 20s? again, and I was going somewhere,with my mom and friends. I think an Island off the coast of Greece. We were having a good time but Mom and I argued, I had a cold in the dream, my HPS also showed in the dream and asked for essential oils for a cold, I said lavender and lemon. It then changed to a boarding school? And I was a teen? but the boy I was sitting next to was being a sexist jerk, and had assaulted me. I was angry and yelling. The dream changed again but I was still upset. Gracie cat was there, but then she went missing?

I woke up with the alarms, the dreams didn't make a lot of sense.

[suzie-snail]

So I hate arts and crafts. With a passion. Any time I have to do them, I feel the anger of every soul in hell rush through my veins, with all encompassing rage for whatever cheese shredder is making me do arts and crafts.

You can imagine the rage I feel during those first weeks of school or during camps it special programs. Usually I just do something minimalist, or nothing at all, I don't know why I hate arts and crafts, I just do.

But, I'm a reasonable woman, and I'm 100% capable of putting my hatred for arts and crafts aside when it comes to being spiteful.

I was part of this program for the Florida capital, and people from all over the state are part of it. I don't know how much yall know about Florida, but there's a reason we say the further north we go the more southern you get. Tallahassee is a beautiful city, and I love it, but it's basically discount Georgia, and some of the bitches here are just not okay.

So me and a bunch of girls from all over the state are just chillin' in the capital building having good time, and the director of this program I'm apart of says she wants us to do a fucking art and craft.

I turn to my friends and I say haha miss me with that shit, I'm not gonna take part.

It was a simple craft, we were basically just coloring a crest with a little Florida in the middle, but I just wasn't having it, so everyone else is slowly making progress on it through out the week, whenever we had down time from doing our actual program stuff, they'd work on it, and I just kinda gave them ideas.

Come the last day, and we still haven't colored our Florida, and one girl, who'd been doing most the work on that tiny fucking Florida, just wanted to color it rainbow, because rainbows are pretty God damnit.

But there are these two girls that I call Becky and Karen, who were discount Georgia natives, one of them lived on a farm, and got offended just at the notion of someone being vegitarian. Well, Becky and Karen had a problem with coloring Florida rainbow.

The gays had stolen the rainbow.

"I can't even wear tye dye because then someone will think I'm a f*g*ot"

"Ugh, gay people ruin every thing"

Look, I'm a lesbian, it is my sworn duty to piss off homophobes. My hatred for crafts be damned, that Florida was going to be rainbow colored, and they were going to like it, God damnit.

So lunch time comes and Becky and Karen are in the Cafe. And I did what I had to do, Florida was rainbow colored, our title was rainbow, my name was written in big rainbow letters for everyone to see, my friends name's were in rainbow. It had more color than pride.

Becky and Karen come back, and they see the Florida, and they didn't say anything, but I know the point got across because they didn't talk to anyone else for the rest of the day. They also refused to write their names on our Florida. Let me just say, it felt good.

And that, fellow queers, is how I stole Florida from the straights, and claimed it for the gays.

How can anyone deny that Pharah isn’t straight when she’s got the Canon Bisexual Haircut

[alliance-recruitment-agency-blog]

Headhunters Bangalore - How To Teach bangalore Like A Pro

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Image Source:

Headhunters In Bangalore - The Next 10 Things To Immediately Do About bangalore 

These your exact same men which are passed over by working class women who say that they WANT a good man but unfairly judge the "temporarily unemployed" guy and possibly view him as being not notable. Maybe women look at him as not being a good catch because he's not currently luring an income or because he is "temporarily" out do the job.

 Image Source:

Headhunting Services In Bangalore - 16 Brilliant Ways To Use bangalore

I'm an accountant los angeles with a diverse range of experience in companies large and small, and I'd never been regarding a job long enough to consider myself discharged. To get optimistic my partner and i would have a job in short order. If necessary, I would personally take a much smaller break, get acclimated by temporary or consulting jobs, then find the proper spot during my new southern home.

Video Source:

Bangalore Headhunter - The Ugly Truth About bangalore 

In initial episode of 'Edge of Existence', he went to Papua New Guinea to reside in with the Insect tribe of Swagap who, in living memory, were a warrior tribe of headhunters bangalore and cannibals.

Hire Headhunters In Bangalore - Learn To (Do) bangalore Like A Professional

You should use only filtered water. Read on and I'll show you how to effectively use the actual cleanser recipe for detox and weight-loss - with cheap associated with quality filtered water.

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If you have not already done so, start gathering endorsements and recommendations from former bosses, colleagues, customers, suppliers, professional network colleagues . . .. Include these in your CV an internet-based profile (you can see some in my little Linkedin page for an example).

There is heaps of discuss subsidence nowadays. Regardless of whether the discussion is valid or not here are 10 things you can be doing ordinary Best Headhunters In Bangalore for your business to support your chances of working through unpleasant occasions. The best so as to begin is at this moment! 

It appeared for a brief span as in case of had occurred as the field of seemed to flip around as the cameraman lost his offset or connected with the camera or both! 

"Dark Unity" (1971) - Pharaoh Sanders ~~ This'll be somewhat intense burrow for anybody searching only for a physical (or even advanced) duplicate, all things considered guarantee you, it's this. With one sole track that times in at 37:21, it is clearly quite far aside. Be that as it may, is it just a wandering, exhausting, go crazy stick session, with no creative legitimacy? Not generally. This current collection of sonic creation is blasting at the creases with innovativeness, wandering aimlessly through a wide range of states of mind and thoughts, with complex layers that can doubtlessly uncover themselves through various tunes in. I was astounded myself - that even down on the plain most recent thirty seconds - it is a chase for Jazz music at its most flawless. Energizing, unwinding, edifying. 

"Spiritualist Brew" (1973) - Ronnie Foster ~~ Since the initial three passages here equivalents over a hour of listening pleasure, make unmistakable declarations require inspire some an opportunity to set aside when you ought to do so as to be investigate the depressions. This cut by Ronnie Foster, on the contrary hand, is quick and painless, and effortlessly one of my most loved disclosures among the most recent decade. Madlib adjusted a definitive, potent relax track for the world make sense of in 2003, however hearing the is the thing that truly flipped me out. Cerebral parlor vibes to fold your psyche over. 

Beyond any doubt Let me give somebody a probability get learn me, yet following a couple of months buy are not displaying STRONG indications of being stimulated and appearing genuine walks then an individual O-U-T! I possess no energy for ludicrousness and untrustworthiness. My children are developed and/or my YOUNGEST of 19 has an occupation and is making progress to pay probably SOME of her month to month bills!! My time and my life are excessively profitable to me. Yours ought to be to individuals. 

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9)If you're home roughly common, dinners in your kitchen poses a potential threat. Sustenance isn't amusement. Shop all the more mindfully by having an eye toward suppers in regards to moment, fast, sustenances that ought to be eaten with fingers. Increasingly nutritious sustenances some water and supply required power. When you like could look, you'll make an increasingly certain activity candidate when you're up to get a gathering. Low quality nourishment drains, uniting you down with stock land advertise.

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[sailourpastel]

The 3 Stages of Rehab Drug and Alcohol Treatment Centers (How it Works)

The 3 Stages of Rehab Drug and Alcohol Treatment Centers (How it Works)

The following presentation contains graphic images and shocking information viewer discretion is advised in the United States over a hundred and fifty people a day die from drug and alcohol related problems two-thirds of homeless people report that drugs and/or alcohol we're a major reason for their becoming homeless when addiction strikes it strikes without warning a dangerous road awaits those who don't get help people with drug and alcohol issues are in danger tremendous danger as a doctor a mother and a concerned community member I've seen firsthand what drugs and alcohol can do car accidents jail time loss of limbs injuries bankruptcy overdose even homelessness or death these are all things I can see on a daily basis it's not a matter of if something tragic will happen it's a matter of when the vast majority of addicts will experience one of these consequences that I just mentioned it's not unusual  for me to see patients who've been gang raped shot rookie assaulted or have nice threatening diseases such as cancer liver disease all because of using alcohol and drugs if you or someone you love is struggling with an addiction there are two things you need to remember number one addiction is a disease the addicted person is not just quit drugs or quit drinking as if by magic addiction doesn't work that way a person with an addiction is going to need structured help in which they get therapy support and even medical attention if needed only that way can a person find a way to an empowered life number two help is available treatment can save your job it can save your relationship you can't even save your life stick with me through this short video presentation and I will talk to you about different treatment options what would happen when you go to rehab and how to get in touch with the right people who can help you I will also tell you a story that you simply must hear it is about a woman who waited to get help for a loved one only to lose them a few days later to an overdose please listen to this story closely and don't make the same mistakes she did lastly I will tell you about new laws that make it possible for you or your loved ones to get a diction treatment add little to no out-of-pocket cost to you but first let me introduce myself my name is saya beheshti but you can call me dr. B I'm 45 years old I live in Southern California and I'm a divorced mother of two I am also an addiction specialist and I've been helping people take their lives back from drugs and alcohol for many years after seeing hundreds of patients recover from addictions I can tell you there is hope if you get into a treatment program and stick with it you will find that the benefits of far beyond what you imagine treatment offers a second chance at life new beginning if you want to avoid life destroying events such as divorce using your children we're killing someone in a car wreck treatment offers you that chance treatment can save lives I've had many people tell me that when they first started drinking they had a lot of fun with it but before they knew it they had lost control over the drinking and it was the drinking that was controlling them they couldn't do anything else when their urge to drink would strike them if you feel powerless against her drug of choice if you feel that it has control over you that your slave to it think about how it would feel for you to be free from that addiction takes away your freedom treatment gives you your freedom back it gives you back the power and releases you from the life of slavery you've been living treatment can set you free and freedom is the most amazing feeling you can ever imagine treatment can give you the tools to recover and thrive so you can no longer if you lost confused and powerless over alcohol drugs why try to do it alone if you've ever been hit with a craving and you've been on your own you know how hard it is to face it in a treatment center you will have 24-hour support and someone will hold your hand through the hardest times once you improve you can start repairing all those relationships you've damaged you can regain those people you lost you can get a new career get new education you can even start chasing down those dreams you've been neglecting for years and years treatment always takes place in a safe environment well nobody will look down on you or judge you the life of an addict can be quite chaotic and when you check yourself into a treatment center you can find that safety and tranquility you need to make improvement imagine how great you will feel if you put yourself in an environment where you can work on yourself without the demands of family without a dealer who wants to get paid without a job that keeps putting pressures and deadlines on you as a doctor I can arrange for you to go on medical leave without your co-workers or boss knowing where you're going imagine how freeing it would feel to be able to get out of work scot-free and getting your life finally handled once and for all without anyone judging you condemning you or even asking you where you're going if you feel unable to improve under the current circumstances you're not alone no one should expect you to make massive life changes under so much pressure it's just not realistic real healing takes real effort and real time by removing the stress you'll have a chance to be discovered yourself will be able to heal from all the pain and all the stress that causes you to start using in the first place you might be wondering why I can be so sure that treatment can help you may be asking yourself why should I be listening to some random doctor who lives on the beach in California well those are reasonable questions I wasn't always a doctor I started my journey as a computer scientist and moved on to the master's degree in physiology later i got my medical degree from UC irvine did my residency at UC Irvine Medical Center I worked at the VA hospital where I spent six years helping veterans with addiction trauma and anything else they needed for their mental well-being it was during this time that I became a published researcher and became certified in treating opiate addiction the reason I switched from computer science to medicine is very simple all my life I've had people  come up to me and tell me their deepest darkest secrets and share their innermost struggles with me after years and years of this I realized that I'm a born listener I listened to people without judging them on lecturing that I realized that most people mourn listening and less lecturing and judging the most important thing a doctor can do for you is to listen it's always been my dream to start my own treatment center and when I did I called it healing path recovery this name always reminds me that listening is the key to healing listening leads to understanding and understanding leads to empathy empathy leads to healing healing leads to a more empowered life these are the words that I live by and I insist that all my therapists learn this principle before they can work with me at healing path recovery I am the founder and medical director of healing pass were covered and unlike other treatment facilities human path recovery is a hundred percent physician owned and operated I don't answer to investors or profit ears I answered only to my patients if you decide to get treatment I strongly recommend you the first center that is a hundred percent physician owned and operated that's the only way to be sure that your entire care from beginning to end is overseen by a physician at healing path recovery I know every single patient and I personally oversee them every step of the way I don't care about your money on your insurance plan I care about saving your life and giving you a new hope for a brighter tomorrow did you know that at Haven pass recovery we give grants and scholarships every month we also help our patients get insurance is they don't already have it we even fight for you  to get to maximum benefits even when your insurance companies say no just pick up the phone and call us at 1844 to just be and we'll get you taken care of remember it's a hundred percent confidential and convenient and easy to get started because we will do all the paperwork for you if you're calling a few different treatment centers don't forget to ask them if they are a hundred percent physician owned and operated ask them if they're medical director knows every single patient by name ask them if you can mark some videos on YouTube of their doctors talking about treatment now let's talk about the three different phases of rehabilitation the first phase is called detox in detox you will enter a medical facility where you will be supervised than taken care of while your body goes through this first round of changes when you arrive at detox the doctors and nurses will make sure that you get the rest sleep and medication that you might need to get through this initial phase their job is to simply make you as comfortable as possible while making sure that your body is not threatened by the detox process the second phase is called rehabilitation for most people it takes about 30 to 90 days for this phase you can choose to go to a residential program where you live there and have the program at the same time or you can choose to go to a sober living facility and do a day program I have found in my experience that both methods work equally effectively in the beginning you will need a high level of supervision and structure you want to spend as many hours as possible in therapy sessions and positive healing activities as you progress you will gain more and more of the skills and the tools that you need in order to live a drug and alcohol free life as you gain more and more skills you will feel more confident and you will realize that you can reenter the outside world the third phase is called maintenance in maintenance you need to continue the good habits that you've developed so far you can go to some meetings every week or continue therapy in order to maintain these habits there are some good programs out there such as smart recovery or alcoholics anonymous that can help you greatly with this process those are the three phases of recovery detox rehabilitation and maintenance if you're not sure where to begin just call us at 1844 to just be or email at help at heating pads recovery calm and we will get back to you and answer your questions did you know that there are laws in place that make it possible for you to get treatment and little to no cost to you the two laws I'm talking about are the Affordable Care Act or Obamacare and the mental health parity Act the Affordable Care Act makes it possible for people who never had insurance before two get insurance you may not believe it but it's easier than using the mental health parity Act requires insurance companies to treat mental health and addiction issues as seriously as they would treat surgeries and doctor visits what this means for you or your loved ones is that help is easier to get and more affordable than it's ever been before maybe you're in a situation where you know you need treatment but you're worried about the cost or taking time off work or about leaving your obligations if that's the case please stay tuned with us and we'll cover all of those scenarios a few years ago a young woman called me she was very worried about her boyfriend who had just relax back into using drugs and alcohol I told her to call his family I urged her to call his family because I was worried about him too but she didn't want to tell on him so she decided to wait he kept getting worse and worse she finally decided to call them two days after she called he died of an overdose this is the kind of story that I hear way too often it reminds us all that we need to get help right away that waiting can be fatal if you have a loved one who is in crisis please please don't wait call us right now at 1844 to just be if you're not a family member maybe you're someone who suffers from alcoholism or addiction yourself and you just don't feel ready to quit yet well let me ask you this will you be ready after you wake up in the hospital after a motor vehicle accident will you be ready after Child Protective Services takes away your kids or will you be ready when your loved one leaves and files for divorce I have so many patients come in and tell me they wish they had changed sooner they wish they had sought help when it would have made a difference in their families it's funny how addiction works your mind plays tricks on you it may tell you all things aren't so bad oh I have things under control oh another drink won't hurt it's only when your life starts crashing down around when you start thinking that things have gone wrong don't let denial fool you don't wait to get help don't wait until you hurt yourself or seriously hurt someone else if you're worried about who's going to take care of your kids or your pets while we go away to we have let me tell you this if you keep going on like this you won't be able to take care of them much longer anyway and then who is going to take care of them if you can't take care of yourself how do you expect yourself to take good care of your children and pets losing your kids is not a joke I see it all the time if you're an addict and your life is spinning out of control around you Child Protective Services will take your children away Animal Control will come and take your animals away give them the life they deserve a life where their caretaker is living well and free of addictions some people are afraid of the embarrassment of going to rehab they're afraid but their family or friends may think when they find out they want to rehab first of all remember that this process is a hundred percent confidential when I put you on a medical leave I do not state the reason for the medical leave it is your privacy rights to keep that to yourself your job or your friends do not need to know why if your humiliation should never stop you from doing what you know is right let me ask you this how many times have you already humiliated yourself because of your drug addiction or alcoholism how many times have you woken up not remembering anything you did the night before and then you get these calls from people telling you all these catastrophic ly embarrassing and humiliating things that you did and that you can't even recall I bet you've done things that are way more hey Mary chicken into rehab if you're worried about what your family and friends are going to think I've got news for you your family and friends already know you're an addict you're not fooling anyone addicts think they can pull the entire world it can't your family and friends are just playing along they know the lazy they know your family and friends will expect you much more when you get better that's the bottom line maybe you think your problem is not that bad or that you can beat this on your own if you're not that bad then why are you surfing the internet looking for information on addiction why have you watched this entire video you need help you know you need help don't let your denial see you let me give you one simple test if you're really not sure if you have a problem ask your family and friends tell them to be honest with you when you have an addiction it's easy to lose perspective I understand that no one will judge you for getting treatment being in denial is something my counselors and I understand very well and we hope you find ways to be more honest with yourself in the future living in the real world can be a beautiful place denial on the other hand can be very scary the truths can pop up at any moment and ruin your day if you're worried about the cost of rehab I'd like you to weighed against the cost of maintaining your alcoholism or addiction how much money have you already spent cleaning up your messes how much money have you spent on drugs or alcohol how much money have you lost by damaging your job or under teaming in it think about all the money you will make if you can focus on your career instead of your next fix remember a significant portion of your cost or even maybe the entire cost can be covered by insurance even if you don't have insurance call us and we'll help you get one just pick up the phone and call 1844 to just pee and we'll discuss your options also remember that we give out grants and scholarships every month and you may be the next one to qualify for it don't put it off any longer we are standing by waiting to help you or your loved one just give us a call or email and we'll help you on your path to recovery I'm dr. B and I'd like to thank you for watching you

See more here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4jZ1KRLQO4

drug rehabilitation definition

Source: http://eliterehaballiance.com/video-blog/the-3-stages-of-rehab-drug-and-alcohol-treatment-centers-how-it-works