#as before. title from paper rings taylor swift!

[happi-tree]

i hate accidents (except when we went from friends to this)

“Oh, god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I don’t know what came over me, you’re just so hurt and I was so scared and I didn’t know what to do and -”

Link cuts himself off as he glances up from Taylor’s still-glazed expression to his forehead. Before his eyes, the gash stitches itself closed, the open wound fading to a pink scar that pales to white before disappearing entirely.

Lincoln remembers hearing the words “kiss it better” throughout his entire childhood. He remembers the way his dads would patch up his scraped knees with ointment and a bandage and top it all off with a tiny kiss before treating him to a hard candy from their first aid kit for being such a good boy.

Never once had Link thought that the phrase could be literal. Or that his newfound powers could make it literal.

Or: Link discovers a rather unorthodox way of using Lay On Hands thanks to one Taylor Swift, and for some reason, he can’t seem to stop finding excuses to perfect his new skills. Fortunately, Taylor is more than happy to help.

once / twice / thrice, pt. 1 / thrice, pt. 2

twice (‘cause it’s gonna be alright)

The second time it happens, it’s not an accident. 

Taylor invited Link to his house on the pretense of doing homework together (who knew saving the world meant having so many late assignments?) and maybe watching some anime later. 

It had taken Link some convincing at first, but Taylor thinks he’s finally got him hooked on Blue Lock: Keyed Up!!! (which is good, considering it’s the only soccer anime that Taylor’s watched). 

Unfortunately, though, homework comes first. Which sucks, because there are about a million and one better things that a protagonist like him could be doing, but he doesn’t want to worry his mom about his grades slipping any further.

Plus, Taylor missed an additional afternoon’s worth of classes yesterday for a long-overdue orthodontist appointment (his jaw aches at the reminder), so he has extra extra make-up work. Ugh. 

At least Link’s passable at science. Normally, Scary could make up some pretty good answers for all of them for their English work, but she’s out recording some stuff for Erica’s podcast. Normal has cheer practice, so Taylor doesn’t really have much hope for his pile of Spanish worksheets, but at the very least, he and Link are making progress. 

Very slow progress. 

Taylor accidentally clenches his jaw a little too hard, and the ache in his teeth intensifies from there-but-tolerable to fucking-hell-it-feels-like-someone-is-wrenching-my-upper-jaw-in-two-holy-shit.

He makes a quiet, whimpering sort of noise, and Link looks up from his work immediately, eyebrows all scrunched together and lips downturned in concern. It would be cute if Taylor could focus on anything other than the agony plaguing his mouth.

“You okay, dude?” he asks, shifting closer on Taylor’s king-size mattress.

“Nnnnnnn,” Taylor moans, shaking his head ever so slightly and flopping back against the pillows dramatically (but carefully, so as not to accidentally make the pain worse somehow). “Teeth hurt.”

“Oh, right, you got your braces adjusted yesterday,” Link gently moves their notebooks and laptops to the side, where they won’t get crushed. 

Taylor’s eyes squeeze shut as he tries to do anything but focus on the ache. “Mmm,” he confirms. “And I think maybe my fangs might be growing in? Hard to tell, but I keep accidentally cutting my tongue on my canines, so I think they’re getting sharper.”

“That’s pretty cool,” Link says, and the sincerity in his voice brings a smile to Taylor’s face, which he cuts off with a wince because fuck, ow, that hurt.

“Would be cooler if my entire mouth didn’t hurt like hell, though,” Taylor grumbles. 

He opens his eyes to find Link hovering over him, looking worried and… hesitant?

“Jeez, Link, I’m not dying or anything. The torment is endless and the agony neverending, but I will persevere! Ah, fuck,” Taylor mutters, pressing a hand to his cheek, which only seems to make matters worse.

Link’s still looking at him like that, though, so he makes grabby hands to beckon him closer.

“Cuddles would maybe help, though, if you’re just gonna sit there,” he offers.

“I can work with that,” Link says, laughing a little under his breath and leaning back on the pillows beside him. 

He opens up his arms and Taylor wedges himself between them, tucking his head under Link’s chin and burying the top portion of his face into his chest, right below his collarbones. He inhales, trying to focus on the smell of laundry detergent and fresh-cut grass and sports deodorant and sweat and something uniquely Link rather than the pain in his jaw, and it works a little.

Link’s arms come around to encircle him, and while Taylor can feel stifled by skin-to-skin contact (he already has enough trouble regulating his own body heat without throwing someone else’s into the mix), the way Link holds him feels… nice. Protective. Link begins to trace tiny, meaningless circles into his back with his thumbs through the fabric of Taylor’s shirt, and the sensation grounds him. 

Taylor quietly realizes that he hasn’t felt this safe in a long time. 

His mouth still hurts like a bitch, though.

As if on cue, another pulse of pain floods his mouth, and Taylor instinctively clenches his jaw against the feeling, which in hindsight was pretty stupid because it makes the ache intensify tenfold. Taylor lets out a whine into Link’s chest, clutching helplessly at his best friend’s shirt. 

He fantasizes somewhat deliriously about taking his teeth and chucking them out of his face where they can’t hurt him.

“That seems like it must be pretty painful,” Link says sadly.

“Nnnnnnnngh,” Taylor replies because yeah, no shit, Sherlock-kun.

“You know,” Link starts out, tone still soft but much more considering, more nervous. Taylor can feel the vibration of Link’s voice against the top of his head, right where it’s pressed against his taller friend’s throat. “I think I can fix that, if you want.”

Taylor pulls away a bit, and Link loosens his hold to allow for some space.

“Well, why didn’t you say so earlier?” Taylor asks. “I know I look totally awesome and composed on the outside, but I am fucking perishing inside. Yes, please, whatever your idea is, I will literally do anything. What were you thinking of, though?”

“Well,” Link says, voice pitching high, “I was thinking, I could, uh. Kiss it better? Like I did last week, if you remember that?” He looks briefly down at Taylor, as he says this, scanning his face for… something. “Oh my god, it would be so embarrassing if you didn’t remember that. Never mind, this is so stupid, sorry, forget I said anything.”

Except Taylor doesn’t really hear that last part because he’s too busy reliving the feeling of Link’s chapped lips pressed against his temple, callused hands cradling the back of his head, big brown eyes that look like black holes in the darkness of sun-off threatening to swallow Taylor completely. 

Does Taylor remember last week? That’s like asking someone if they remember that the sky is red. Taylor remembers last week annoyingly well, and he keeps remembering it, and the scene plays and replays as the hellfire within his ribcage flares and the heat rises and he looks up at Link who’s still working himself into some anxiety-ridden ramble and -

Cool it, cool it, part of his mind whispers to him. 

Link offered to kiss me, an irritatingly large amount of his brain shrieks back at him, uncool and uncharacteristically nervous and taking up more mental real estate by the second. Boy hugging me boy touching me boy kissing me?

You just need to calm down, the more rational part of his brain assuages. You’re Taylor Swift, you’ve got this.

I’m Taylor Swift, I’ve got this. Taylor mentally chants, strongarming the fire in his chest and turning the flame down to something a bit more bearable. I’ve got this. I’m popular, I’m icy cool, and anyone would be lucky to kiss me. I’ve got this.

Brain successfully rebooted, Taylor nudges at Link’s shoulder, stopping his friend’s mutterings in their tracks.

“As long as you haven’t talked yourself out of it, I’m, like, totally down if you’re still offering. You severely underestimate how desperate I am for pain relief.”

“Oh,” Link says, eyebrows drawn up in surprise. Then, “Really?”

“Yeah, oh,” Taylor echoes back. “Really. The only thing is… don’t you usually have to touch whatever’s hurt for it to work? And like, it’s my teeth, so…”

“Yeah, and?” Link prompts, like he isn’t quite seeing any problem with that and.

Oh.

Oh, Link means kissing kissing. Like, on the mouth. And to get at Taylor’s teeth… that’s like making-out-kissing. Oh, god. Oh my god, okay. This is fine. Sure! Great.

“Oh,” Taylor says aloud. Then, “Okay!”

“Are you sure? About this?” Link questions, searching Taylor’s expression even as he places a slightly-clammy hand to Taylor’s cheek, even as Taylor’s face feels like it lights on fire in response. The clear concern in the upturn of his brows and the gleam in his dark eyes has Taylor humming in assent before he realizes what he’s doing and placing his hand atop Link’s larger one, holding him there as Taylor’s gaze is drawn to his slightly parted lips.

“For the love of god, Link, just kiss me already.”

“Okay,” Lincoln says, quiet and slightly unsteady. And he closes the gap.

It’s clear that this is Link’s first kiss, and Taylor’s pretty sure Link can tell that it’s the first time he’s kissed someone, too (well, someone that isn’t his body pillows).

Link’s lips feel softer against Taylor’s than they had against his forehead. He’s tentative and shy and exceedingly gentle, and Taylor’s unsure if that’s out of the fear of causing him undue pain or if it’s just who Link is, but he appreciates it either way.

 Link’s thumb strokes delicately across Taylor’s cheek, almost reverently, like he’s afraid that Taylor will break apart in his arms if he doesn’t treat him with care. Link’s other hand comes to rest at the side of his neck, threading through the hair that’s escaped Taylor’s topknot, and the feeling of it paired with the light press of Link’s lips against his own draws another humming sound from his throat.

Taylor tries his best to reciprocate, mouth pliant against Link’s, free hand fisting in the soft, slippery fabric of his best friend’s shirt and tugging gently as if to bring him in even closer. His other hand moves from atop Link’s to cradle the back of his head and run his fingers through his close-cropped hair.

Link makes a low, soft sort of noise that will no doubt be replaying for weeks on end in Taylor’s head. God, he needs to hear that sound again.

Sadly, though, they’ve run out of air, and Lincoln pulls away only to lean back in and carefully rest his forehead against Taylor’s.

Taylor’s eyelids blink open (oh, he had closed them, when had that happened?) and he comes face-to-face with Link, brown eyes deep and dark, half-lidded and half-dazed, staring directly at him with open affection. His hand still rests on Taylor’s cheek, and Taylor can feel the stark temperature difference there, anxiety-chilled and demonically-overheated, as something flutters hard in his chest.

“Uh, wow,” Link says, quiet and very breathless, and God, who gave him the right to be so beautiful and so adorable at the same time?

Taylor draws his lip in between his teeth and is greeted with a sharp stab of pain.

“Ow, fuck, shit,” Taylor hisses, scooching back to put more distance between the two of them. “Guess that didn’t work, but thanks for trying, Link. You out of spell slots or something?”

With Link’s complexion, it can be difficult to tell when his friend is flushed or flustered, but his wide eyes and cringing expression definitely come across as embarrassed.

“No,” he replies, voice a few octaves higher than normal. “I, uh, forgot? To do the spell.”

At Taylor’s quirked eyebrow, Link elaborates, “I just wanted to make sure I didn’t accidentally hurt you more, and then I got so wrapped up in that that I guess I forgot, and then you did that thing with your hand in my hair, and -” he cuts himself off with a whine, covering his eyes with a hand and dramatically rolling over, the picture of mortification. “Kill me now.”

Taylor laughs, loud and sudden and sharp despite the pain, and Lincoln curls a little further into himself. 

“I can just, uh - I made it weird, I can just go, I guess?” Link says in that reedy, nervous way of his, voice cracking toward the end as he sits up, moves to stand -

“Dude,” Taylor clambers across the mattress after him, grabs his wrist. “Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

“I-“ Link gestures with his thumb toward the door. “Home? I mean, I screwed up, and you laughed, and now you probably think I’m so stupid and-“

“Hold up, handsome,” where did that pet name come from - “I wasn’t laughing at you- I mean! I was,” Taylor watches as Link’s expression droops further “- but not to make fun of you! It’s just…” Come on, just say it, you’ve never had trouble speaking your mind before - “endearing.”

Link looks more confused and anxious than anything, but that’s better than sad and anxious, so Taylor takes that as a win. 

“Plus, you’re not getting away from me that easy, Li-Wilson,” He adds, tugging his friend a little closer. Link doesn’t resist it.

Taylor allows a smile to pull at his lips, only flinching a little bit at the pain he now expects. “You can try again, you know,” he offers, looking up at Link through his lashes. 

“I can?” His friend asks, skin flushed darker across his cheeks. “I didn’t make it too awkward?”

“Nope!” Taylor responds, popping the “p.” 

“Nothing awkward about a good old-fashioned makeout session with your best friend!”

“Best friend,” Link echoes, “Right…”

“C’mon,” Taylor goads, crooking a finger toward him as he smirks. “I don’t bite.”

Taylor’s gaze lowers from Link’s face and rests at the side of his friend’s neck, taking note of the sparse freckles there. His teeth feel a little heavier in his mouth.

“Not unless you want me to,” he murmurs. 

“What?” Link asks, sounding strangled. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Taylor evades.

“If you’re really sure -“

“I am,” Taylor confirms, moving to sit half-gracelessly in his friend’s lap, hands steadying his weight on Link’s strong shoulders. “Now, less tally-talky, more smoochy-smoochy!”

“So demanding,” Link teases, even as he threads his fingers through his hair again. Taylor can hear the smile in his voice without having to look - which is good, because if he did, he’s pretty sure he’d give into the impulse to kiss the curve of his lips without preamble.

“You bet.” Taylor’s voice comes out much breathier than he expects as he meets Link’s eyes. “Don’t forget the spell this time!”

“I won’t! Probably.” 

Just like before, Link leans in again, and a slight smile pulls at Taylor’s lips as he meets him halfway. 

The sensation of Link’s lips against his own is a little less foreign now, a little less startling. Taylor lets himself melt into it, and just before he closes his eyes he can see the adorable little furrow of concentration between Link’s brows that he gets whenever he’s casting something. 

Kissing his best friend tastes like vanilla chapstick and Taylor’s favorite soda. Link had snagged a bottle of lychee Ramune out of his hands earlier, saying something about how carbonation was bad for braces and offering his homemade sports drink instead (which hadn’t tasted too great but wasn’t quite as bad as Taylor had expected). Taylor finds that he doesn’t really mind, now - not when the flavor is even more addictive this way.

Link’s hands come up to cradle the sides of Taylor’s face like some sort of fairytale prince, firm and gentle and insistent all at once. The soft pressure of his friend’s fingertips ghosts along the jut of his jawline, and it’s almost worshipful, like Link sees Taylor as someone to be adored. 

The tenderness of it all sends a thrill down Taylor’s spine, and then the chill spreads, unfurling itself through every nerve. 

Taylor has been on the receiving end of Link’s magic before, but he’s rarely lucid enough to appreciate it, to bask in the comforting coolness his friend’s Lay On Hands brings. It’s less like running an open cut under cold water and more like a fresh breeze in the middle of a stagnant summer afternoon, he thinks, something blissful and relieving that reminds him of safety, just like the boy he’s kissing. He falls forward into the embrace - both the spell and Link’s affection - as his hands tangle themselves in the back of Link’s athletic shirt, chasing the feeling. Link’s magic is a deeply soothing sensation, a balm to Taylor’s flushed cheeks and fire-bright nerves and burning heart, and he can feel himself melt in Link’s hold, his thoughts reducing to little more than a warm haze against his lips.

Link pulls away after what probably amounted to only a few moments, and Taylor leans after him on instinct. His eyes flutter open just in time to see Link gazing down at him fondly through his lashes, the last dregs of his magic sparking across his irises in anvil-sharp flashes of bronze before fizzling out entirely. His lips are slightly kiss-bruised, and it sends a jolt of satisfaction through Taylor’s stomach as he realizes that he did that.

“Did it work this time?” Link asks him, still cradling Taylor’s face in his hands, thumbs still grazing lightly across his cheeks.

It takes a few seconds for Taylor to register the question, then a few more as he prods at the back of his teeth with his tongue, clenches his jaw experimentally.

“Looks like it!” He confirms happily, though his joy sours a bit as Link’s hands leave his face to lean back on his arms, mourning the loss of contact.

“You’re a genius, Link,” Taylor praises, smiling and then smiling wider when he realizes that he feels no pain whatsoever. “Think you could do that again whenever my joints are acting up?”

He doesn’t really mean it - of course, a bigger part of him than he’d like to admit does, but his tone was supposed to come off as teasing - but Link’s eyes go wide and his cheeks darken further, and maybe Taylor wouldn’t mind at all if his friend takes that one hundred percent seriously.

“I- I mean, if you want t- If it’d help?” He fumbles, face flushing further as he stutters. It’s pretty commonplace to see Link a bit flustered, but it’s different when Taylor knows that he’s the reason for it. It’s pretty cute, in his opinion. 

“It’d do more than help. Chronic pain sucks ass, but you’d be, like, my personal angel,” Taylor says, looking up at Link. 

You already are, his mind adds for him. 

“Sure, then. Anytime. Uh, that’s what friends are for, right?” Link asks, those big brown eyes of his searching Taylor’s face for something.

He said “anytime”, is Taylor’s only coherent thought, one that runs giddy circles in his brain. I kissed Lincoln Li-Wilson. Twice. I just kissed my best friend twice. He said he’d kiss me again. God, I want to kiss him again. 

“Mm,” Taylor half-responds, still reeling from the way Link’s hands carded through his hair and smoothed over his cheeks and the way their lips slotted together. 

“Oh,” Taylor hears Link say distantly. “Okay, that’s, um. Okay.”

“Mm,” Taylor hums again, still in the process of rebooting what’s left of his brain.

A hand waves in front of Taylor’s face. “Taylor? You okay there, buddy? Did I do the spell wrong somehow? Please tell me I didn’t break you.”

You can break me anytime, Taylor thinks, mind conjuring images he definitely should not be having this close to the subject of his fantasies.

Taylor shakes his head in attempt to clear them. “All good, my man! Just, uh, thinking.” He desperately hopes his face isn’t as red as it feels.

“Wanna get back to homework, then?” Link says, gesturing to the pile of notebooks. “I think one of our make-up quizzes is due tonight.”

“Oh, shit, I forgot about that. We should probably get back to studying, huh.” He scoots away from Link to grab a notebook and his laptop, and for once in his life he misses the body heat of having a person next to him.

“Okay,” Link says, patting the empty space next to him and propping himself up against Taylor’s headboard.Taylor complies, settling himself into place at his side and handing him a pen (ballpoint, blue ink, Link’s favorite kind). He finds his own (a click pen, black gel ink) after a few moments of feeling around on the comforter.

“We’re still on chapter seven, right?” He asks, chewing on the end of his pen as he attempts to decipher the chicken scratch that is his own handwriting. 

“Unfortunately,” Link sighs, slinging his left arm around Taylor’s shoulders. 

As Taylor leans into Link’s side, he thinks that even though make-up work is bound to be hell, there are much less fortunate things than this. He smiles to himself, and it doesn’t hurt one bit.

[landososcar]

so high school ; JB5

pairing(s) ; jude bellingham x singer!reader , jude bellingham x student!reader

summary ; twitters favourite new(ish) artist drops her new album right during her school year.

warnings ; nothinggggg & mainly just fluff bc i love happy people

note ; SORRY ITS SHORT AHHAHA, i’ll post a new lando fic soon i just have no inspiration… ignore any dates that are wrong or don’t match - im lazy. also this is VERYYYY LOOSLY based off so high school lol (it’s mainly the aristotle line)

instagram !

liked by judebellingham, taylorswift, and others

youruser surprise !!!!! as an end of term present (for myself🤭🥳) and in honour of knowing the loml for 15 years, here’s 15 new songs for you guys to (hopefully) enjoy 😊 noah, thank you for trusting me and letting me join you on what might be one of my favourite songs ever!! i loveeee youuuu. && to my jude<3 thank you for inspiring me every single day of our lives. i love you bigger than the whole sky 🩵🩵 (guys he’s actually v v talented and he helped me write scared of my guitar, hard to sleep, and feels like) j, you are my safe place and these songs — especially the ones i haven’t let you hear yet — are for you.

ps guys idk how to only write happy songs but jude is the only one who makes me feel safe enough to express my emotions through my songs 😁 i looooovvveee him and am NOT 🙅‍♀️ breaking up with him. he is stuck with me forever💞

‘the alchemy’ is YOURS tonight at midnight 💓

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user1 WHAT

user2 YOU CANT JUST DROP THIS ON US WTF

oliviarodrigo my girl💞💞 i’m so so soooo excited😭

user3 GIRL I KNOW YOU DIDNT JUST CALL THE ALBUM ‘the alchemy’ FOR NO REASON. WHERE TF IS THE TITLE TRACK I KNOW YOUVE GOT HER SOMEWHERE

youruser jude and i love the alchemy the most out of all the songs and wanna keep her just ours for a little bit longer but maybe if you guys enjoy these songs i’ll let you have my baby

user4 YNAJDKJSKDKDIS

user5 WHATTTT songs did she not let jude hear omfg i need to know

youruser he’s heard them all except for daylight, paper rings & so high school lollll

judebellingham refreshing my spotify every minute til midnight you guys don’t understand she’s kept these songs in a VAULT

user6 jude i know you love spotify but apple music get new music 10 minutes early xxx

judebellingham just made an apple music account

user7 TEN MINS TIL THE ALBUM OF THE YEAR DROPS

taylorswift so so proud of you beautiful 🩷🩷

judebellingham I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH

judebellingham putting ALLLL of these on the pre-game playlist

youruser babe idk if some of these will pump you up before a game

judebellingham hearing your voice will pump me up idc how sad the song is xx

user8 why’s no one talking about how she’s in UNIVERSITY and dropped a FIFTEEN song album like …??? she’s INSANE. WHERE did she find the TIMEEE

user9 not to mention she lives with him in madrid and does school online coz her uni is in the uk

user10 she’s insane i don’t understand how😭😭

imessages !

instagram !

youruser just posted to their close friends story.

twitter !

instagram !

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youruser surprised my fav person in the uk for his england game and he scored for me 😆🩵🩵

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user1 she wrote “you know how to ball” and he said “yeah” then scored a goal and did a celebration for her😭

user2 zoom in on pic 6 and you’ll see me laying on the road waiting to be run over

judbellingham ‘unemployed girlfriend’ but you’re the greatest singer on earth while also doing online uni full time and you still make time to be able to come see me

youruser it’s coz i love you so so bad

jobebellingham you make me sick

youruser i love u too jobeyyyyyy

england our favourite visitor💙💙

user3 how does she do all this whilst going to uni😭😭😭

oliviarodrigo 💖💖💖

judebellingham I LOVVVEEEE YOUUUUU

user4 i NEED the top in pic 8 where is it from

youruser i found it on depop and HAD to buy it😭😭 i think someone made it x

chappellroan HOTTTTT (you not ur bf)

youruser I WOULD DIE FOR YOU MY WIFE💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

user5 i don’t understand how you write sad songs like the ones on your album if ur ‘in love with jude’

user6 jude deserves better than someone who’s so caught up on and still writes songs about her exes

user7 WHYS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE LYRICS SHE POSTED ON TWITTER IM GOJNG INSANE

user8 LITERALLY?/!;!!/;@:8@ LIKE ??????? “WHERES THE TROPHY? HE JUST COMES RUNNING OVER TO ME” IS SO JUDE CODED WHEN Y/N IS AT LITERALLY ANY OF HIS GAMES

user7 EXACTLYYYYY HE ALWAYSSS RUNS TO HER IMMEDIATELY AFTER HES ALLOWED TO DO HIS OWN THING. ITS FUCKING ADORABLE

user8 IM SO GLAD SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS ME

user7 were both insane let’s get married

user8 dm me right now wife

youruser liked the comments in this thread

imessages !

instagram !

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youruser lol little life update coz i’ve been m.i.a. for the last almost two months. 1: i went blonde again. 2: my man still as fine as ever. 3: got engaged or whatever lol. 4: slaying up exams. 5: i miss tour so i decided imma come back and see you all soon 🤭🤭 tour dates soon <3

ps in honour of becoming fiance or whatever🤗 the alchemy and 4 other songs are yours on the deluxe version of ‘the alchemy’ ,, out tonight !!!

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user1 WHAT THE FUCK

user2 GIRL LET US BREATHE

harrykane juudddeeeeee!!! congrats🥳❤️

declanrice mr bellingham that is a ROCK

user3 SHE DISAPPEARED FOR TWO MONTHS AND THEN CAME BACK AND DROPPED ALL OF RHAT ON HS

gracieabrams OMG WIFE IS GONNA BE A WIFE

user4 BLONDE YN IS BACK AND SHES A FIANCÉ OH MY GOD

judebellingham WIFE WIFE WIFE‼️‼️‼️

youruser not yet my love but so close🥰

judebellingham I CANT HEAR YOU MY WIFE IS AN ACADEMIC AND LYRICAL GENIUS

user5 she’s still writing break up and sad songs whilst engaged… so weird

user6 yeah and jude helps her,, he must be so disgusted right? seriously get a life and go touch grass

taylorswift so so happy for you 💓💓

youruser 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 i love you

user7 TOUR TOUR TOUR TOUR TOUR

england juddeeeeee💙 sooo happy for you two

trentarnold ❤️❤️❤️

user8 how girl just gonna casually drop a ENGAGEMENT announcement in the middle of a photo dump

user9 REALLLL LIKE THATS A BIG ASS RING TOO

noahkahanmusic YESSSSS🤍🤍🤍🤍

user10 HOWWWW is miss girl gonna find time in her schedule to do uni, make music, keep a healthy relationship, AND TOUR

judebellingham mrs*

my other works !

[teamhappyme]

it's time to go

josh lyman x female!reader

word count: 4.4k

warnings: my condensed rant at how the women are treated in the west wing, what is a timeline/plot

a/n: logging on to post a fic and then fall off into the abyss where there is no motivation or inspiration flowing! this has been sitting in my drafts for two years, folks. finally got the inspo to finish this generalized west wing fic-turned josh lyman reader core done! i hopee you all can indulge in this as much as i did :) (yes another taylor swift inspired title you can take them from my cold dead hands-)

~~~

There is a constant buzz that lives in the west wing. 

If it’s not the white house staff and all the varying levels of personnel making noise, it’s the conference room meetings that hold everyone in D.C. trying to influence the white house and the American people. 

Normally, the buzz is comforting to you. In the middle of the communications department, you all thrive on it. But the last twenty four hours had reached a level of mayhem that not even you guys could spin into a positive narrative.

You accompanied Toby to CJ’s second brief of the night, trying to inform the press on the situation in Haiti while attempting to dodge any questions about the MS shock and reelection campaign.

CJ was losing control of the group. She was shuffling papers, removing sticky notes, adjusting her glasses, all in an attempt to keep herself somewhat grounded from the chaos at hand. You sensed Toby tense up as a member of the press pushed and pushed, asking his third follow up question. 

And that’s when it all came crashing down.

CJ flew off the podium and you and Toby followed after her.

“Did she just say the President is relieved to send troops into Haiti?” Sam asked as he joined you in the hallway, waiting outside of CJ’s office. “Relieved to put American lives and Haitian civilians at risk?”

“I was standing right there!” Toby shouted back and you flinched. This certainly was not the good buzz you wanted.

Before they could continue yelling at each other, the door to the briefing room slammed against the wall, CJ rubbing her hands over her face and turned to find the three of you standing there.

“CJ,” Toby started, but was quickly interrupted.

“Just don’t say anything! Just… don’t say anything.” You all gave her a moment to regroup before she began walking back to her office. 

Your two bosses stood in the middle of the hallway, not knowing what on earth to do next, other than duck and cover from Leo once he heard what happened. 

“They’re gonna need extra hands for damage control.” Sam turned to you, and you nodded.

“I’m on it. I started drafting notes for an apology statement,”

“Apology?” Toby asked, voice still an octave louder than you liked, directed to you.

“I told her to.” Sam added, and you watched the look the two of them shared. They sure had some things to discuss. “We’ll talk about them later. Just, make sure they are clear about what CJ meant. Redirect as much as you can without stepping on any toes.”

“Got it.”

You pushed your stack of papers into Sam’s hands and made your way to the press offices. Phones were ringing off the hook, aides scrambling from desk to desk, as Josh stepped in beside you.

Before either of you could reach CJ’s office, she slammed the door, rattling a few frames on the wall.

“Well, we’re just getting started aren’t we.” 

“Happy Thursday.” you added as he walked back toward his office. You looked out over the war room and locked eyes with Carol. She let out a breath before meeting you at her desk.

“Heard there’s a bit of a situation going on. Where do you need me?”

- 

You’re not sure if it’s still Thursday by the time you leave the press office. It’s still dark out; you haven’t eaten anything besides Carol’s desk mints and you need a nap. Desperately. 

You walked through the bullpen to Josh’s office, your final memo delivered before you could put the events of the last day and a half to rest - at least for the next six hours. You checked in with Sam one final time, making sure your absence today didn’t put him any further behind. (Of course it did, but he’d never tell.)

Donna wasn’t at her desk, and the rest of the bullpen was empty save for Josh pacing around his office while reading over a document. You waited until he stopped moving, scribbled something on the paper, and stuck the pen back in his mouth to knock on the opened door.

His eyes shot up, meeting yours for a quick second before he began pacing once again. 

You’ll take that as a ‘come in.’

“7:00 a.m. briefing notes, CJ wanted you all to take a look at them before morning.” You handed him the paper, skimming it before he went back to his thick document. “Carol says all they are waiting on is an update on Haiti from the situation room. They assume they won’t get that information until-”

“Nancy is doing the morning brief tomorrow.” He interrupted, not looking up from his papers.

“I’m sorry?” you questioned.

“Nancy is doing the morning brief tomorrow. She has the information and will get the Haiti update by 5:00.”

Taking a second to recover your thoughts and do a double take at your own copy of the memo, you couldn’t help but question the man in front of you. 

“Why are you benching CJ?”

“No one’s benching CJ. Leo made the decision to have Nancy give the brief on Haiti. I mean, she seems pretty qualified to give the brief being the President’s National Security Advisor, but I could be wrong. She just bribed me with some bagels to give her the opportunity.”

“Don’t you think CJ deserves to do her job?”

“She said the President was relieved to send troops into Haiti.”

“She made a mistake,” You argued, and you could feel the anger starting to spew out of you.

“Yeah, and unfortunately she made it in front of the press and during broadcasted briefing.”

“CJ used one wrong word and she’s getting hanged for it.” You dropped the stack of memos onto Josh’s desk, his full attention now on you.

“CJ is the press secretary, she is the line of communication from the President to the public.”

“And you’re the Deputy Chief of Staff, and Toby is the Communications Director, and Sam is the Deputy Communications Director, and-”

“What’s your point?” He interrupted, running a hand through his annoying, unkempt hair.

You scoffed. “What’s my point? As the Deputy Chief of Staff, you went on Capitol Beat and slammed Mary Marsh while simultaneously ridiculing every person of faith in the United States. You also went in front of the same White House Press Corps and stated that the President had a secret plan to fight inflation when he obviously did not. As the Communications Director, Toby was accused of insider trading. Finally, as the Deputy Communications Director, Sam slept with a prostitute, and instead of staying away from her like all of the senior staff advised, including Leo, he was photographed with her, which could have caused a major PR crisis for us to fix.”

“I thought you were in favor of Laurie and Sam’s relationship, prostitutes shouldn’t be discriminated against.” He added with a smirk.

“Do you think this is funny?”

“You listing all of the mistakes we’ve made as we work in the most powerful building in the world? Yes, I do.”

You crossed your arms in defiance, fighting back frustrated tears. He wouldn’t get it.

“CJ has stood at that podium over the last twenty six hours taking shit from the press on the President’s diagnosis. She chooses the wrong language once, and Toby is yelling at her while Leo shoves her in the corner.”

He let out a sigh, trying to choose his next words carefully. 

“It’s her job to get the language right-”

“For fucks sake Josh, this isn’t about her damn job! It’s about every single woman in this building working their ass off, taking the hits for their bosses, for the men in this administration without as much as a thank you. How many times has Donna been on the receiving end of phone calls from angry senators, stayed late to make sure she proofread your memos, sacrificed her free nights to lobby and push your policy on people? And how many times have you thanked her for it? I sit in the communications bullpen and hear Toby shout for Ginger, Bonnie, and me dozens of times a day. I see, first hand, the scrutiny that CJ is under every time she has to defend policy to the press. And don’t think I don’t understand that we all signed up for these roles. We all knew what we were getting into, we all knew the hierarchy of the west wing. We knew we weren’t going to be praised for our contributions, no matter how big or small. But none of us expected to be benched for doing our job, for telling the truth of a man that is too scared to say it himself.”

Josh’s eyes widened at your casual tone and bold statement. You knew you were crossing the line. 

“You’re talking about the President, keep your voice down.”

“Why? Everyone is thinking the same thing. He’s hiding behind Haiti, he’s hiding behind CJ, and he’s hiding behind this damn white house!”

Josh moved around you, going to shut the door in hopes that no one heard you. But a foot propped the door open, and in walked a still irritable Toby.

“I sure as hell hope that wasn’t the President you were having a public outburst about in his goddamn west wing,” Toby exclaimed, only causing you to roll your eyes.

“Toby,” Josh tried to interject, but you were ready to finally give everyone a piece of your mind.

“It sure as hell was. And I’ll repeat it for anyone that wants to hear it, in fact, why don’t we all just march down to the Oval office and tell the man causing all these problems himself how we really feel. Or am I the only one with the balls to say it?”

Josh had to physically stop you from leaving his office, holding onto your shoulder as you could practically see the smoke leaving Toby’s ears.

“You sure as hell don’t have enough seniority to command a meeting in the Oval!” Toby yelled out, landing another low blow to your ego. Josh’s hand tightened on your shoulder as you fought back the tears desperately trying to form in your eyes. But you wouldn’t give Toby the satisfaction. “So suck it up, and wait for us to tell you what the hell to write to get us out of this situation.”

You shook Josh’s hand off your shoulder as you took another step closer to Toby.

“I’m not writing a single word until I get to talk to the President.”

“Get the hell out of my bullpen, you’re done tonight.” Toby seethed, clearing the way for you to leave.

You didn’t think twice. You walked past the two of them, not a care in the world at the fact you just told off two of the most powerful people in the White House, potentially risking your job in the process.

The buzz followed you through the halls to the communications bullpen, walking past Ginger and Bonnie who were wrapping up phone calls at their desks. Sam yelled out to you from his office, but you kept your head down and kept walking. 

It wasn’t until you walked past the Roosevelt room, locking eyes with Donna as she sat with papers spread out in front of her, red markings all across the pages, that it hit you. She gave you a small smile, her eyes quickly turning to concern as you felt the tears threaten to fall.

You quickly walked to the exit, brushing past the security guards and stepping into the spitting night rain. The air was cold, and it felt like a shock to your system. 

What the hell have you done.

You barely made it fifty feet before you heard someone calling your name, heavy footsteps running toward you.

You turned to find Josh, coat in hand, approaching you outside the White House.

“Wait a second,” Josh said as he finally stood in front of you, draping your coat around your shoulders. You didn’t even realize you were shivering.

“I need to go,” you said, embarrassment and anger still seeping through you.

“We need to talk about what just happened. It’s been a long, hectic night-”

“Josh, you’re not going to talk me out of my own words.” You interrupted him. “I meant everything I said in there, and I’ve been feeling that way for a while. No amount of talking is going to change what I think, or what Toby thinks. It’s done.”

“We can fix it, please-”

“Nothing is going to change!” You exclaimed as your arms raised in frustration. “The only way this goes away is if I go back in there with my tail tucked between my legs and suck up to Toby. I’m not going to kiss the ring and pretend I’m okay with what’s going on in there. And if that’s the job now, I don’t want it.”

“It’s always been the job, the President's policies and opinions are our policies and opinions.”

“That’s easy for you to say when you’re in the room where it happens. And quite frankly, I’m sick of taking the hit for men who can’t help themselves.” you said and continued walking further away from the White House.

“It must be lonely up there on your high horse, pointing your finger at everyone who has what you want!”

“You have no idea what you’re talking about!” you whipped around to face him, finding him closer than he was before. You hated that he was looking down at you, both in height and pity. “And of all the people in that fucking building, it should have been you to understand why I feel this way.”

The two of you stood incredibly still, waiting for someone to make the next move. It had been like this between the two of you for months; push and pull, give and take, waiting for someone to crack and push the boundary wide open. No one knew how to get you to open up like Josh, and no one made him as flustered as you. And still, it all ended like this.

He looked down at your hands, clenched into fists at your sides, and he slowly reached out to grab them. But you couldn't let it happen this time. You took a step back, and both of you tensed up again.

“It’s time for me to go.” Physically, mentally, all of it. It was time for you to leave the white house.

Josh nodded, fighting the urge to continue to try and get you to stay. Instead, he rested his hands on the lapel of your jacket, pulling it tighter around you for the final time. You refused to look up at him, knowing you would give in just like all those times before.

He gave you a small nod once he was ready to finally let you go.

“I’ll see you around.”

*****

It’s been three days since the MS scandal completely shook the nation.

You haven’t left your apartment since that day, avoiding phone calls from everyone in the west wing.

Sam had left voicemail after voicemail, begging you to tell him why you haven’t been to work. Toby refused to tell him what happened, but he knew it had something to do with that night. Not even endless compliments on your prose and speeches from Sam could get you to crawl back there. He gave up after his sixth message.

There was a pile of unopened mail sitting on your kitchen table, along with empty take out containers and a bottle of wine - there may even be a copy of your law school application in the mix, a pity read or two occurring in a drunken haze. 

Later that night, after dodging another phone call from Donna and attempting to get as much of your life together as you could, you gave in and sat down to watch CJ’s nine o’clock press brief. You were glad to see that she was off the bench again, and seemed to be back to her usual self. 

There was a knock at your door as she opened up for questions, and you hated to think you missed the sound of the press gaggle.

You swung your door open, expecting a large pizza to be shoved into your face, but instead an exhausted Josh Lyman was standing at your door.

“Hi,” he said and began cracking his knuckles. “I would’ve called, but you seem to forget how the phone works.”

“I know how the phone works.” you replied. “What are you doing here?”

“Can I come in?” you sighed. “I walked all the way here, please take pity on me.”

“Fine.” You opened up your door, mostly to shut him up, and ushered him into your home.

“Glad to see you cut yourself off from us completely.” He jeered and pointed to the press briefing on the TV. “You know I’m the one that suggested she make the joke about Hungary, so they should be laughing for me.”

“What did you come here for, Josh?” you asked, again, trying to redraw the boundary between you two.

“Ginger and Bonnie kept saying you were sick, and since no one else heard from you, thought I would check in to see if you were alive. You look pretty not sick to me.”

“Josh-“

“We need you back in the west wing. Toby and Sam are at each other's throats and we need a speech for our first campaign stop. If you don’t get back to the bullpen I’m afraid we’ll never see the written word again.”

“I don’t-”

“I’m not beyond begging or bribing to get you back in there tomorrow morning.” He couldn’t help but smile at himself as he shrugged off his coat and sat down at the kitchen table. You tried not to notice how soft he looked in jeans and a sweater. “But you’re not getting my office, or my secretary, or my season tickets to the capitals. I will however put up Sam’s season tickets to-“

“I wrote my letter of resignation, Josh. I’m not coming back.”

You sat down next to him as you watched him freeze, eyes widening the slightest bit. Rendering Josh speechless never gets old, even under these circumstances.

“Toby’s not going to fire you, he was just pissed off the other night. C’mon, if we head down there now I’m sure he’s still there slaving away over this speech-“

“I didn’t write this because I was afraid of getting fired. This is my choice, Josh. I’m choosing to leave the White House.” 

You handed him the letter, and he took it with some hesitation. He spent a few minutes reading it, and then rereading it, shaking his head before throwing it back on the table.

“Why?” Was all he asked as he pulled his chair closer to you. You shook your head, not wanting to get into it. He leaned back in his chair, staring at your letter on the table.

“Josh, I’ve spent too much time helping people, specifically men, climb up the political totem pole. I’m tired of writing speeches and bills for someone else to say. I’ve been burned by too many men in my life to be naive enough to be comfortable in one place.”

He moved to pick up the letter, or so you thought, but instead he picked up your law school application.

“Since when have you been interested in law school?” He asked, flipping through the pages of the Georgetown Law School application. 

“Since forever,” you said, suddenly growing quiet under the scrutiny of his eyes on your application; your essay was practically a diary about your time working in the west wing. “I couldn’t afford to go after I graduated from UVA, and my parents weren’t exactly thrilled about the idea of having a girl lawyer in the family. So, I settled and started working on the campaign trails. I think you know the rest from there.”

Josh didn’t say a word in response, you’re not entirely sure he even heard a word you just said. Instead his eyes were darting across the page, flipping page after page to finish reading your essay. Josh had never read your personal work; sure you’ve written dozens of memos and speeches that he had proofed and listened to, but nothing with your voice. Nothing that showcased your intelligence, your compassion, and dedication to learning to improve not only yourself, but the world around you.

It was making you anxious the more he read and the less he spoke. Was it bad? Did he think you were absolutely insane for thinking you could go to law school? You need to get it out of his hands before it completely changes the way he sees you.

“I know it’s a long shot that they would accept me, I haven’t even decided if I’m actually going to apply or not, so-” you tried to take it out of his hands, but he grabbed your wrist before you could reach it.

“They would be absolute fools not to accept you.” he said, slowly lowering your arm back to your lap, not letting go of you yet. “The west wing is going to fall apart without you.”

“You guys will be just fine without me.” you started and rolled your eyes. “Toby has an ego, and a vocabulary, big enough for ten speechwriters. And, I haven’t gotten in yet.” 

“You will. And Toby’s ego, no matter how large, will never fill the hole you’re leaving.”

He maneuvered his hand away from his wrist down to your hand, and watched as he laced his fingers with yours. You let out a breath as he rested them on his knee, slowly bringing you closer together.

“So, will you accept my letter of resignation now that you know the full story?”

“No, I don’t think I will.”

“Josh-”

“I have a stipulation to the letter.” he interrupted, the smirk returning to his face. “You stay on until we win re-election, and take on a very part-time consulting position once school starts. You deserve to see this through, and we can’t part with you any sooner.”

How the hell does anyone say no to Josh Lyman? Between his annoyingly handsome signature smirk, his warm brown eyes, and his messy hair, he’s a total heartthrob. But you seemed to have some effect on him too, seeing as he hasn’t let go of you just yet.

“That sounds like a plan, only if you and Toby agree to write me the best recommendations Georgetown has ever seen.”

“I can deliver on Toby, but I’m not so sure I can give you what you’re looking for. I may have a conflict of interest,” he said and squeezed your hand, causing you to laugh. “But I have the next best thing, the President of the United States on speed dial.”

“Then you’ve got yourself a deal.” His smile spread over his entire face now. “And thank you, for believing in me. And not firing me last night.”

“Well, you were right. A little outspoken, but nothing worse than what Toby has said to the President himself. There’s going to be some change in the west wing now, thanks to you.”

“Who knew all it took to get something done in this city is to have a temper tantrum?”

“Almost every politician in Congress,” Josh added before being interrupted by his pager. His face fell the slightest bit as he let out a sigh. “It’s Leo.”

“Back to work?”

“A crisis awaits,” he said, letting go of your hand as he shrugged his coat back on. Your fingers flexed against your side, already missing the warmth of Josh’s hand in yours. “So, I’ll see you tomorrow morning?” 

“Bright and early,”  You replied as you walked him to the door. “With a desk full of notes from Sam, I’m sure.”

“Oh if only we could all be so lucky.” He joked, as the two of you lingered in the doorway to your apartment. You really didn’t want him to go. “I’ll brief you in the morning, hopefully nothing too serious.”

“Okay. Um, drive safe.” You stumbled over your words, and you didn’t miss the way his dimple jumped out at your expense. 

“I will. Have a good night.”

“Night,” you mumbled back, watching as his eyes flickered down to your lips for a split second before taking his first step back from you. 

“Josh,” you choked out, and he turned back to face you in seconds. He waited for you to say something, but for once in your life, nothing came to mind.

“Cat got your tongue?” He jeered. You hated that he had this effect on you. And he was reveling in it.

“It’s all your fault, you know. Dropping the whole ‘conflict of interest’ bit, and then leaving without any explanation.”

“I’m sorry, let me be a little more clear.” he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him as butterflies erupted in your stomach. 

“Such a charmer,” you whispered as he dipped his head down, and finally kissed you.

His lips were softer than you imagined, slowly moving against your own. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t thought about this moment before, but it was surpassing everything you thought it would be. Josh was always gentle with you, and he kissed you just the same. He took his time with you, and you could feel yourself getting lost in the feel of his body against yours.

He was the first to pull away, resting his forehead on yours as you caught your breath. 

“I think that made it very clear how much I like you.”

You smiled as you wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his neck.

“I like you too.” You replied, placing a light kiss on his jaw before pulling back to get another look at him, dimples on display. 

“If you keep looking at me like that I’m never going to make it back to the White House,” he joked, and you shoved his chest.

“Then get out of here, Josh. I’ll see you in the morning.”

You smiled as he leaned in to kiss you once more, teasing you as he pulled away, leaving you chasing his lips. You placed one more chaste kiss on his lips before letting go of him.

“Goodnight,” he said, gently squeezing your hand before finally walking down the hall. “I’ll be sure to tell Sam I cured you back to health.”

“In your dreams, Lyman.”

*****

[auroragreenvale]

Cruel Summer - JJ Maybank

SOOOO.... I started writing this when Outerbanks season 2 came out (and I bought Lover on vinyl) and I have since fallen off the show and writing/fandom stuff in general. (also im a lesbian now and this is a straight love story lol but i still like it) BUT I wrote/made notes for this story and liked it and wanted to share it but didnt have it in me to finish. So this is the entire 20 pg google doc copy pasted for whoever might be intrigued! :)

*it WILL be full of typos... its ab the story not the writing lol

---

Based on these songs from Lover by Taylor Swift:

i think he knows

Cruel summer

Miss americana

Paper rings

Daylight

Outline

Lyric: The moon is high like your friends were the night that we first met

JJ and yn meet briefly at a bonfire 

Chapter 1

Lyric: he got that boyish look that I like in a man 

She notices jj doing jobs around figure 8

Chapter 2

Lyric: the wine is cold like the shoulder that i gave you in the street cat and mouse for a month or two or three

Chapter 2?

Lyric: he’s so obsessed with me and boy i understand (alternatively: im so obsessed with him nobody understands)

She notices jjs intrigued and plays hard to get

Chapter 2

Chapter 2.5 or 3?

Lyrics: snuck in through the garden gates every night that summer just to seal my fate

Here we see them getting close, falling for each other

Lyric: I’m drunk in the back of the car and I cried like a baby coming home from the bar said I’m fine but it wasn't true

He comes over when shes trashed and she cries cause he never kisses her (semi confession of feelings)

Lyric: i want to drive away with you i want your complications too i want your dreary mondays wrap your arms around me baby boy

She learns about his dad

Lyric: American glory Faded before me Now I'm feeling hopeless Ripped up my prom dress Running through rose thorns I saw the scoreboard And ran for my life

midsummers idk what happens

Lyric: I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked 

They fight and stop talking/seeing each other

Lyric: were so sad we paint the town blue voted most likely to run away with you

Lyric: i don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you

Lyric: i love you ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard he looks up grinning like a devil 

epilogue: daylight (lines i’ve crossed unforgiven stormed out of every single room (ruined relationships with other kooks) ran with the wolves(jj learning to be in a real relationship) chorus

Chapter titles:

The Moon is High

That Boyish Look That I Like in a Man

The Wine is Cold (the shoulder that i gave you in the st)

Nobody Understands

Seal My Fate

Said I’m Fine But It Wasn’t True

Wrap Your Arms Around Me Baby Boy

Ripped Up My Prom Dress

I Wounded the Good and I Trusted the Wicked

We Paint the Town Blue

Just to Keep You

The Worst Thing You Ever Heard

Now That I Saw You (maybe you ran with the wolves and refused to settle down, maybe i've stormed out of every single room in this town)

---

that boyish look that i like in a man

*after they first met JJ is parked outside her house getting ready to do yard work, she is rushing out of the house putting on earrings and such as she exits.*

“Woah what’s up Cinderella late for the ball,” JJ asked, noticing your hurried pace.

“A date actually,” you retorted.

“Damn! A date? With who,” he sounded shocked. 

“Who wants to know?” You stopped to tighten the strap on your shoe. He chuckled.

“I mean what dude was able to win a date with you? What he’d do, like slay a dragon or something?” JJ laughed at his incredible ability to make jokes about your “royal status”. 

“Real fucking funny,” you started back walking swiftly down the street. Damn. The kook princess had a mouth on her. 

“You should let me take you on a date sometime,” he yelled down the street to you. He smirked. You kept walking, not even bothering to yell a response back but he knew you had heard him when he noticed the slight falter in your step. He could tell you had heard him by the change in the way you walked away. His smirk grew, tongue coming between his teeth as his eyes drank you in as you walked off. 

You walked back up the path to your house much more slowly, your shoulders slumped in defeat and your feet bare. You groaned as you approached your home, noticing JJ’s car still parked outside. You were hoping to come back to an empty house

Back so soon! Was he not the prince charming you were hoping for?

Shut the fuck up JJ

Woah dude im just messing with you chill

Yeah well maybe I’m not in the mood okay (she goes up and changes and come down to the kitchen to get some food and JJ is in there getting water or something, they awkwardly move around the space and around each other still feeling the tension from a few minutes ago)

Im sorry i snapped at you earlier its just… it hasnt been a great day

Thats alright i get it… this have anything to do with your date he asks suddenly feeling a little protective

Yeah actually you scoff i dont even know why im telling you this but uh… i got stood up so thats uh… feelin pretty shitty You two stood in silence for a minute JJ not knowing what to say and you beginning to regret sharing something somewhat embarrassing with him a small smile appeared on his lips. He looked up at you, your eyes staying on the counter you leaned on

You know who would never stand you up You looked up to see him smirking knowing he was referring to his very unceremonious proposal for a date earlier. You smiled back, feeling a little bit better at his lighthearted nature. The two of you stood there, for just a moment in your kitchen, eyes locked. You felt an intensity in his soft gaze and quickly broke it, feeling overwhelmed by whatever you saw in his eyes. 

“You wouldn't take me out. Can’t be seen with somebody like me,” you mocked slightly.

“I think you wouldn’t want to be seen with somebody like me.” it wasn’t accusatory but a challenge that he sent your way as he leaned across the kitchen island, face inching closer to yours. 

“Well that complicates our plans a little doesn’t it? We don’t wanna be seen together,” you were suddenly feeling very nervous as JJ got closer to you. How was the guy mowing your parents lawn making you feel like this? You barely knew him and you sure you wouldn’t have much chance to get to know him any better. He leaned in slowly, so close that his mouth almost brushed your ear.

“We could always hang out here.” you closed your eyes and attempted a deep breath. It came out shaky. You prayed he didn’t notice. He was obviously just playing games with you. He liked having this kind of power over someone like you. Well you weren’t going to give it to him. The game was over. You backed away and looked up at him, a sudden shift in your mood. Any chance that JJ had started to break down your walls was gone and they were back up like this moment had never happened. 

“I’m good, thanks.” With that you turned around and headed back upstairs to your room. “Turn off the light when you're done.” Stunned, JJ grabbed the bottle of water he had come in for and shut off the light leaving the kitchen with newfound emotions and a lot of confusion. 

***

JJ noticed you through the glass doors that led out to your backdoor. He watched you walk around your living room for a moment, looking for something. He knew you hadn’t noticed him cleaning your family’s boat. He stood for a second, mind going blank. Without any thought or reasoning, JJ grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. Once he stood, on your boat, shirtless, looking back at your house, his mind seemed to come back to him. What was he doing? Did he hope his toned body would get your attention? Did he want to make you regret rejecting him? Was he playing the game you had convinced yourself he was playing? JJ had no clue. He just knew you made him act strangely. Shaking his head, he threw his shirt to the side and got back to work at just the moment that you looked up, stepping out onto your back porch. You watched on, mesmerized, as JJ moved equipment and supplies around the boat. You noticed how the muscles in his arms moved, and along his sides, as he picked up something particularly heavy. You noted how his hair, slightly damp, fell in front of his face as he leaned over. You studied the rings on his fingers, the way his necklace sat so nicely against his collar bone, and his shirt and hat now sitting in a pile on the boat. He was like magic, the way he had you in this trance against your will. The way he made you so nervous and confident and confused all at once. The way he had you so distracted that when he turned around and saw you, your gaze merely shifted to the smirk now on his lips long before your thoughts moved to the reason for his expression. 

“Like what you see,” he called out to you, pulling you out of your daze. He was clearly amused or proud or both. You rolled your eyes, attempting to recover from any flusteredness you felt. 

“No…I just came out here to ask if you, you know, needed any water or anything. Wouldn’t want you passing out on my family’s dime,” you offered a fake smile. JJ hopped down from the boat and took a few steps down the pier, closer to you. 

“Well aren’t you generous.” He was grinning. He started walking slowly toward you, eyes burning into yours and you couldn't move. He stopped directly in front of you. Leaning down slightly, he brushed against your ear again and whispered, “Is that all you came out here for?” He pulled away quickly, so that he could look at you. Not only did he just like studying your features, but he liked seeing the effect he had on you. He was in awe at the thought of you melting under his touch, your heart speeding up around him like his did when he was anywhere near you. He didn’t know what any of this meant, just that it was exciting and that you were beautiful. He savored the brief moment after he pulled away that you held your eyes closed for a second longer, not realizing that his eyes were on you again. When your eyes fluttered open, you were surprised to see him staring at you and unable to understand the look on his face. You thought you hated the way JJ made you feel, but really you hated how foreign this vulnerability felt. JJ felt so openly and freely and when he looked at you, you were certain he could see everything inside you. It was terrifying and you would swear you had stopped breathing if not for the quick beat of your heart telling you that you were very much alive. In fact, you had never felt more alive as when JJ looked at you. But in this moment you just wished to be somewhere you felt a familiar sense of comfort. A yoga class at the Beach Club. Sunbathing on your balcony. Anywhere but on your dock with JJ Maybank. Suddenly, you felt his hand press against your hip, and you were there: yoga, sunbathing, anywhere. Calm. But this calm was different. You still felt a lightning storm coursing through your body but breathing became easier. You felt exposed to JJ, but still closed off to the world, safe here in your backyard. He leaned into you, wanting to eliminate the air between you. For a moment, your faces were impossibly close and your lips could almost feel his. You burned to feel his lips on your own, hoping it might be the key to understanding these new feelings, or maybe putting an end to them. But you stopped yourself, or him, placing a firm hand on his bare chest. Without a word, because you truly didn’t know what you could say, you turned and went back into your house. You couldn’t kiss JJ Maybank. Especially not out in the open like you were. You shouldn’t have even been standing so close to him. You hoped that if any onlookers had witnessed what had just happened, that your expression was one of disdain. But you knew it hadn’t been. Because you had wanted to kiss him despite everything. As if the time he was nice to you at one party when he was high meant he actually cared about you. He was playing stupid Pogue games with you, probably a bet with his friends. “Who can get a Kook to fall in love with them!” You wonder how much money he was hoping to win. You wouldn’t allow him the satisfaction. JJ burst into your house through your back doors moments after you did. What the hell he thought to himself. 

“Did I do something wrong,” he sounded mad. He didn’t know how to express his worry and confusion, his frustration at himself for possibly fucking up. 

“Do you think I’m stupid?” JJ stared back at you with wide eyes. “I’m not gonna be a part of whatever game you’re playing?”

“Dude what are you talking about?” Both of you were terrible at expressing your emotions so these explosive comments affected the other very little, as you could barely process your own thoughts. 

“You know what the fuck I’m talking about! Trying to kiss me! For whatever stupid bet!” JJ paused. His face stayed the same but he felt less like an explosion and more like the lava moving slowly, engulfing everything in its path. His brows furrowed deeper.

“You really think I would do that?” Shit. You read that all wrong and you think you might have hurt JJ’s feelings a little.

“Well why did you try to kiss me,” you asked, trying to recover.

“Because you’re hot.” He said it like it was the most obvious answer and you were an idiot for not already knowing it. For a moment you were shocked and still didn’t quite understand. Then you smirked, taking a page out of JJ’s book and attempting to shift the mood. The shame you felt from your accusation still burned but you ignored the feeling.

“You think I’m hot?”

“Yeah… I mean for a Kook you’re not too bad.” You scoffed and rolled your eyes. Could he take anything seriously? Ever be genuine. 

“You’re so fucking ridiculous,” you bit back, walking past him. He mirrored your actions, rolling his eyes too. He grabbed your hips and pulled you into him, lips immediately meeting yours forcefully. It was a collision, what you would imagine a meteor would feel like when crashing down to earth. You felt grounded with your hands on the back of JJ’s neck but electrified with hands against your waist. You couldn’t tell if it was you or him that was crashing into all the life on planet earth. All you knew was it would cause destruction and change and you couldn’t stop it. You pulled yourself away from him and took a deep breath. You turned and walked to the stairs toward your bedroom. You turned to JJ who stood rooted in the same spot, in a daze. 

“You coming?”

***

JJ’s arm reached across your body, hand moving up and down your hip as you laid on your back. He closed his eyes, face tucked into your neck. You just stared up at the ceiling, thinking. JJ placed a light kiss on your neck and felt you immediately tense. He propped himself up slightly to look at you. Whatever he was feeling earlier was gone, or at least pushed to the side, and he was back to his lighthearted self. 

“What you regret it already,” he joked. 

“No.” You sighed dragging your hands down your face. “It's just… This doesn’t-- this can’t leave this room.”

“Well yeah we’re not gonna fuck inside the Boat Club or something.”

“No like, no one can know about this.” You almost felt guilty saying it but you had already strayed so far from what you were taught was right, so this was the next logical step to fix things. Nothing personal. 

“Oh yeah you’re right imagine if my friends found out I was fucking a Kook!”

“Fucking,” you asked attempting to gain clarity on his intentions, “Who says this is happening again?” You hoped the look of disdain on your face was intense but you could feel it melt away as JJ rolled himself to hover over you, smirk as intense as ever. He placed a quick kiss on your cheek, then one on your neck, on your shoulder, on your chest. 

“I don’t know about you,” he placed two more kisses further down your body, sinking further under the sheets, “but I wouldn’t mind this happening again right now.” And you couldn’t say no. Not when you felt his touch on your skin, rendering your mind useless. All you could think about was how he felt against you and how you wanted to feel it forever. 

snuck through all the garden gates every night that summer just to seal my fate

Sat at your desk hunched over your laptop, working on portfolios and applications for internships, you hear a knock at your window. You turned your attention to it, deciding to check out the noise. You pulled back the curtain, curiosity turning to annoyance when you saw JJ Maybank standing on your balcony. The thought of leaving him locked out there crossed your mind but you figured it would only cause you more trouble. You slid open the door.

“JJ what are you--” he didn’t waste a second before grabbing your waist and attaching his lips to your neck, “doing here?” You tried to keep your composure as the tingling sensation erupted in your tummy. Without JJ’s hands tethering you to the ground you’d probably float away. 

“I was horny.” He missed you. And he didn’t know what to do about it. He didn’t know you but he craved your touch. He relished in the way you looked at him whether you were annoyed or entranced and he wanted to know what his feelings meant. You pushed him off of you. 

“JJ, my parents are back. You should’ve texted.”

“Okay well I’m here now.” He tried to pull you back to him. 

“You can leave,” you offered, stepping away and sitting back at your desk. You had barely a few seconds to look down at your work before you heard him settle onto your bed. You blew out a breath, exasperated. “I meant it. You can leave. Please go.” JJ pulled out his phone, ignoring you. You rolled your eyes and went back to your work. A few minutes later he spoke.

“You know, I don’t even have your number.”

“What,” you asked, not hearing him while reading something on your computer screen. 

“I couldn't’ve texted you I don’t have your number.”

“Oh,” you said, realizing.

“We’ve had sex twice and don’t even have each other’s numbers. Kinda slutty of us,” he joked. You rolled your eyes but couldn’t keep your smile from forming. 

“If I gave you my number would you leave?”

“I don't know, maybe.” He tossed you his phone with a grin on his face. You looked at the screen, his phone already open to contacts. You typed your number in and then stopped. What did you put in for your name? You couldn’t actually put your name in right? JJ couldn’t be seen texting you. But then again he probably wasn’t going to text you very much in the future… You just left it blank and looked up to where JJ had crossed over to your door, leading out to the balcony. He was looking at you. 

“Snooping through my phone,” he asked jokingly. 

“No I--,” you walked over to him, “... I didn’t know if you wanted me to put my actual name or what.” He let out an amused breath and shook his head. You held his phone out to him. Instead he grabbed your outstretched wrist and pulled you into him. He placed a kiss on your neck, letting his lips linger there for almost longer than you could handle. He brought his lips up to your ear making you lose all focus. 

“I’ll text you.” You could hear the smirk in his voice. With that he slipped away, having taken his phone back without you noticing, and walked out onto the balcony. 

***

JJ: your parents home?

YN:🙄

JJ: ???

YN: read 8:52

JJ: be there in 15

You sighed. Begrudgingly, you got up to unlock your balcony door and went back to working. Eventually you heard the door open and JJ walk in. You paid him no mind as he tossed his phone onto your bed or when he walked up behind you. He got your attention when his hands went to your shoulders and his lips to the side of your neck, but you pretended to still be focused on your work. He noticed. 

“Damn they keep you busy at Kook University. Or is this for princess school,” he joked leaning over your shoulder to more closely inspect your work. You closed your laptop slightly, not wanting him to see your work. 

“I don’t have to keep letting you come here, you know.”

“But you do anyway.” He smiled at you, eyebrows raised. You sighed, rolled your eyes, and went back to your work. 

“I have work to do JJ,” you said. You felt his presence leave you as he backed away and started to wander around your room. 

“Then why’d you unlock the door for me?”

“I always leave it unlocked,” you lied.

“Not very safe,” he said nonchalantly. “What’s this,” he added, sounding much more interested in something on your shelf than your unlocked door. You looked up to see him looking through your bookshelf.

“It’s a scrapbook…” You continued watching him, waiting to see if he would continue looking through your belongings. And he did. He grabbed the scrapbook and took it over to your bed where he plopped down, laying on his stomach. “What are you doing,” you asked when he opened the cover and began studying each page.

“Need something to do,” he shrugged.

“You could leave,” you said, getting up to take the book from him. You stopped beside your bed being slightly caught off guard at seeing the pictures. You hadn’t looked through them in a long time.

“Who is this? She’s in a lot of these.” He stayed looking through the various photos, missing your soft smile.

“My best friend.”

“I’ve never seen her.”

“Oh now you know everyone on the island?”

“No, I just think I’d probably recognize her,” he said in reference to her distinctive bright red hair which fell in messy curls in most of the pictures.

“She moved away. During highschool.”

“You still talk?” He was still thumbing through the pages of your book.

“Sometimes. Not much. Sometimes I get to see her for holidays and it's like she never left.” You smiled fondly and this time JJ looked up in time to see it. He smiled too, watching you study the pictures. He wanted to tell you how pretty he thought your smile was. He noticed he didn’t see you smile much. A really, genuine smile. Especially around him. But he was mesmerized by the slight curve of your lips and the way it made your eyes sparkle. He couldn’t tell you that though knowing it would likely freak you out and make you kick him out for real. You sat on your bed, across from JJ, eyes still glued to the photos in front of you. He looked back down at them as well, and began flipping  through the pages again. “She was actually a lot like you.” This time you looked at him as he studied your memories. 

“She poor as shit too? You got a thing for pogues?” He smirked to himself at his joke. You rolled your eyes.

“No. She was...I don’t know… wild? Spontaneous. Fun?”

“Ohh so you like us cool adventurous types,” he said looking up at you, “Is it ‘cause you’re so lame?” You feigned offence joking back with him. 

“I’m lame?” He nodded, then your open mouth switched to a smirk. “How am I am lame, I’m sleeping with a pogue?” You laughed loudly as the look on JJ’s face mirrored what yours had just been, mouth open in fake shock. “Speaking of,” you said, laughter subsiding, “isn’t that what you came here for?” He continued to laugh a little himself.

“Well now I don’t wanna since you’re being mean to me.”

“Oh my god! You called me lame!”

“Yeah well you are!”

“I am not!” You waited for his next retort with an amused smile, matching his, on your lips. His expression changed suddenly from one of amusement to one that you couldn’t place. You had never seen it before, on anyone. At least not directed to you. But anyone who had would immediately recognize his look of adoration. “What,” you asked, very aware of the shift in the room. 

“Nothing I just…nothing,” he chuckled lightly to himself, looking back down at the pictures. 

“No what is it?”

“You actually are pretty cool.” It was the most sincere you’d ever heard him say despite the casual nature of his statement. You’re certain you blushed. 

“You don’t even know me,” you said softly. 

“But I like getting to know you… I like… talking to you.” 

“Oh. Well, yeah I… I like talking to you too.” You took a deep breath. That was as emotion as you think you could handle for the night.  “Except when all you feel like doing is making jokes.”

“Hey i can’t help it I’m so funny and witty!”

“Ohh yeah okay!” You were both giggling. 

“I’m serious though. I wanna know who the kook princess really is. If she’s as cool as she says. What do they have you studying at princess school?” 

“Architecture”

“Woah architecture? So you’re like building skyscrapers and shit?” You laughed. 

“Well I’m more focused on the design but I guess yeah. We haven’t gotten to the real good hands on stuff quite yet but we study all kinds of buildings and design styles. Skyscrapers included.”

“Damn. So what you gonna come back to the Outerbanks and turn it all city?”

“No I uh— I want to work with city planning teams, design buildings that work with natural elements instead of fight against them.”

“…So you’re like… Pope smart. I thought he was the smartest dude on the island but he might have some competition.” You smiled at his flattery. 

“What about you JJ. What do you wanna do?”

“I just wanna surf. All around the world. Just moving from place to place finding the best waves.” You loved how he got lost in the fantasy. 

“You know i’ve… never surfed before.”

“What?! Like never!?”

“Well I had a couple lessons as a kid but I’ve never really surfed.”

“I’m taking you surfing tomorrow,” he jumped off your bed and walked toward your balcony door, “”Bright and early too, so I’m gonna let you get some sleep. Be ready!”

“What— I— how do you know i’m not busy?” The smile on your face matched his. 

“I’m sure you’re not doing shit at 5am.” You’re eyes went wide but somehow your smile never faltered. 

“JJ what?!?” 

“See ya then!” And with that he slipped out the door. 

“said im fine but it wasn't true” 

“Thanks Topper you’re the best,” you slurred wrapping your arms around your friend. Blah blah topper drops her off at home and doesnt even go inside cause he sucks whatever okay skip

YN: come over?

JJ looked back down at his phone. Never since this thing started between the two of you had you asked him to come over. He was surprised but responded that he’d be over in 15 minutes. When he hopped in his car, he threw his phone into the passenger seat causing him to miss your next text.

YN: :)

YN: :) :)

JJ arrived at your house, pulling around to the garage, his usual routine. He grabbed his phone, brow scrunching upon seeing your texts. He can’t even remember the last time you smiled at him in real life. He smiled, amused at the thought of how you thought you were so tough and badass. It was cute. He pocketed his phone and began his short climb to your balcony. He entered your room through the door you had begun to  leave unlocked for him. His eyes went to your desk first, almost expecting you to working, even this late on a Friday night. His eyes shifted from your empty chair to your bed, landing on you. You laid in what JJ couldn’t imagine was a comfortable position, still dressed in your party clothes and makeup, not even bothering to have pulled back the covers. He perched on the other end of your bed, the movement causing you to stir. You groaned, eyes opening more when you registered JJ in your room.

“Mornin’ sleeping beauty.” He let out a quiet laugh. Your face scrunched up in annoyance.

“You took so long to get here I got sleepyyy,” you whined, reaching your hands out to him, requesting he come closer. He scooted closer, sitting beside you. You wrapped your arms around him, pulling him into you with a sleepy grin on your face. He stopped abruptly, face hovering above yours. He could smell the alcohol.

“Are you drunk,” he asked.

“Nooooo,” you said, trying to pull him back down as he had begun to back away.

“We’re not doin’ this when you’re wasted,” he said a little more forcefully than he would have liked. You took no notice.

“I only had like a couple of drinks okay,” you slurred out. You stopped before JJ could respond, feeling suddenly sick. You rushed up and ran as quickly as you could on your unstable legs to your bathroom, leaning over the toilet and depositing the contents of your stomach into the bowl. JJ followed you in standing awkwardly at your side for a moment before kneeling down and moving your hair out of the way of your face. When you felt the sickness subside you sat back, eyes droopy and face pouting. JJ almost laughed, making your pout grow stronger.

“Shut up.”

“A couple drinks huh,” he asked amused. You sighed, giving up.

“OKay a lotta drinks. And I think I’m a little high.”

“Oh my god!” He laughed at your surprising state. You only groaned, leaning your head on your arm which rested on the toilet. “Uh do you… like need anything,” he asked.

“Some water would be good,” you said into the toilet. He got up and went down to the kitchen to grab you a glass of water. He returned to find you continuing to empty your stomach. He set the water on the counter and quickly sat down next to you. He rubbed your back until your stomach was finally empty, the way he remembered Kiara doing for him many times. You lifted your head up to look at him and his heart could’ve broken at the look in your face. 

“JJ I don’t feel good.” 

“I know, I’m sorry. Here,” he grabbed the glass of water, “this’ll help.” You took a couple of sips before setting the cup on the floor and quickly following it yourself, sliding down to lay against the cool tile. JJ had never been on this end of a drunken night out and he had no idea how he ended up having to take care of you. But he didn’t think he minded it all that much. “Come on, let’s get you to your bed.” He helps you up and leads you back to your room where you lay down, again on top of the covers. He perched on the edge again and looks down at you. He notices your eyes filled with tears. You sniffed a couple times. “Hey! Woah what’s wrong?” He placed a hand on your shoulder. 

“You won’t kiss me,” you said softly as if you were just speaking your thoughts out loud instead of answering his question. He sighs, a little frustrated but trying really hard to be gentle.

“i already told you we can’t do anything when you’re out of it like this”

“Nooo,” you whine, also frustrated, “You don’t kiss me ever!” And you suddenly start crying. You probably won’t remember most of this. Your emotions feel disconnected from you right now but they are very much yours and very much real. Your lowered inhibitions simply brought them to the surface albeit against your will. You take a deep breath. “I just want you to kiss me again. You only kissed me once and— it was so so wonderful but you won’t do it again and it makes me so sad and I just like you so much and—“

“Hey, hey shhh shh it’s okay. I’m sorry it’s okay.” He is desperately trying to calm you, not yet even able to process all that you just said. You look up at him and in that moment, with tear streaks in your makeup long ruined by hours of partying and the aftermath, he knows he would do anything for you. 

“Will you hold me?”

“Of course.” He honestly doesn’t know if he should. After everything you just drunkenly confessed to him. Everything is becoming so complicated. But how could he say no? So he scoots onto the bed and pulls you into him. You grip his shirt with something close to desperatetion and lay your head on his chest, instantly feeling calmer. JJ reaches over to turn off the lamp beside your bed and you fall asleep soon after. In the silence, JJ is finally able to think about everything you said. Think about how having you in his arms, watching the rise and fall of your chest, feeling your breath on his neck feels so right. It’s feels perfect. He wants this with you all the time. He wants to here you tell him how you feel and he wants to take care of you. JJ is hit with the shock of his realization but at the same time settles into how good it feels. How comforting it feels to care about you so much despite how fucking scary it is. He doesn’t care about anything else in this moment. Befofe closing his eyes, he reaches down to press a kiss to your head hoping that for now it is enough to let you know he feels the same. 

she wake up the next morning and tries to assess the situation and hm idk actually what i want to happen okay maybe she kinda wake him up and is like jj what are you doing here and hes like uhh you invited me over last night and shes like i did like kinda mortified cause she cant remember and shes trying to and hes like no no we didn’t do anything you just… and shes like I what and hes like you just asked if i could come help you cause you felt really bad i guess you went out last night and i guess it was fun and shes like yeah well i still feel like shit right now and lays back down on him and goes back to sleep and hes trapped under her to just think about all that has happened and her and stuff and everything omg

“Ripped up my prom dress” okay new concept for the midsummers chapter:

“Why hello your highness,” JJ said, dropping into a deep bow. You rolled your eyes but your lips still curled into a smile at his antics.

“You didn’t tell me you’d be here,” you said, surprised.

“Yeah well I am working, wasn’t too excited about that part,” he paused, “You look beautiful.” You smiled at his genuine words but then noticed the bruises forming on one side of his face and you instantly wore a look of worry.

“You’re not looking too hot thought, what happened to your face?” You wanted to reach out and touch the purple spot near his eye but your arms stayed by your sides. 

“Damn really? I thought I looked pretty good,” he joked, adjusting his vest. Your worried look did not waiver, pressing him to explain himself. “Ah don’t worry about it. You should see the other guy.” You still weren’t convinced but decided not to press anymore. Just then you saw Topper, heading your way. He wore a slight look of confusion, likely from seeing you standing with JJ Maybank. You quickly turned back to JJ right as Topper reached you.

“Could you please just get some champagne,” you said to JJ, your still furrowed brows aiding the believability of your falsely exasperated tone. JJ seemed caught off guard by your quick shift in tone and hesitated. 

“You heard her pogue! Champagne,” Topper said. You raised your eyebrows, urging him to go. JJ walked off slowly, eyes glued to you as Topper pulled you aside. 

“What’s up Top,”you asked, “Everything okay?” He looked upset.

“It’s Sarah. She’s been acting weird all night and now I can’t find her.”

“Um, okay I’m sure she’s fine. Let’s go find her.” The two of you searched throughout the country club eventually ending up on a porch overlooking a more secluded dock. You could make out Sarah and John B standing on the end, laughing and talking and standing really close. You knew Topper was fuming.

“God, I knew she was probably cheating on me. But with a damn pogue too!!”

“Come on Top she’s just talking to the guy that doesn’t mean she’s cheating,” you said. 

“So you’re saying she snuck off with him just to talk?”

“I mean, I don’t know why don’t you ask her?”

“No. I don’t want her to know that I know about this… Flirt with me! Make her jealous!”

“Topper I’m not—“

“Please.” You rolled your eyes knowing your friend would keep persisting. You figured it was better you help him with whatever stupid plan he had quickly concocted then to let him crash and burn on his own. Quickly, your demeanor shifted as you wrapped your arms around the back of Topper’s neck. He grabbed your hips and brought you slightly closer to him. It was weird being like this with such a good friend. What was weirder is you noticed how different it was to being with JJ. He always pulled you in as close as possible. Topper only stood close enough to be believable. JJ’s hands on your skin, even through the fabric of your clothes, felt electric. But with Topper, you didn’t feel butterflies in your stomach or the searing of his fingertips on your hips. You realized now that you had only ever felt those feelings with JJ. But you put on your best smile and pretended. You let out a loud, exaggerated laugh which prompted Topper to get into character as well. He leaned his face in slightly, with a smirk on his lips.

“Topper!” You laughed again but stopped as you heard the sound of glass breaking. You looked around, seeing a discarded serving tray, a broken glass, and spilled champagne. Looking back to the building, you saw JJ storming back to the party.You barely suppress a sigh. “Uh…Top...I’ll be right back...uhh goin’ to the restroom,” you said, not looking away from where JJ walked further away.

and not only does sarah see but jj is bringing the champagne (also hoping to talk to you some more) and he see and you look over and see his face and your face immediately changes and then you remember and turn back to topper and hes like whats up with the pogue u know him and youre like no no what and jj like storms off and u really wanna go after him so youre like i need to go to the restroom and topper is like a lil suspicious but mostly just annoyed at pgues so he goes to rafe and kelce and them and they go after jj just like they do in the actual episode and you stumble upon it before the security guard and u break it up under the guise of “guys don’t be stupid ur gonna get urselves in trouble its not worth it.” and they are still kinda riled up and the security guy comes in and he gets jj and he leaves and looks at u kinda pissed and he goes outside and you see him start acting literally insane and you kinda follow him out and go up to him a lil bit and hes like oh heyyy princess! Wheres topper? And then idk what happens lol/ um maybe shes like trying to calm him down a lil but she wont like touch him or anything cause they are around like all of figure 8 but shes like JJ please not now we can talk about this later and shes worried people are maybe catching onto things. Well then the part happens when the pogues all start to leave(rewatch this clip)  but before JJ runs out to the water Topper grabs him and is like asking him whats going on threatening him etc and ur like Top chill lets just get back to the party and so he pushed JJ to the ground and jj hits the busted up side of his face and looks hella in pain so she goes down to him and is like ohmygod are you okay and hes like  yeah your boyfriends not so tough i can handle him and he gets up and stumbles a lil but runs over to john b and you get up (stepping on and ripping your dress) and run a few steps toward them and then you see pope and kie go with them and you just watch and are like :(  (um later topper and the other guys are like asking her about jj and they are like omg are u fucking maybank? And she doesnt answer and they are like oh my god she fuckin a pogue woahahahhh!! Haha! And its like a thing they keep teasing her and like talking shit about jj which eventually leads to the big fight)

***

Um they haven't seen each other or talked in weeks “always waiting for you to be waiting below” and JJ is over doing some work on the boat or whatever and she gets home and goes out to try to talk to him and hes got headphones on and is ignoring her and eventually they talk and im gonna try really hard to remember the dialogue i came up with. Idk basically they get in a fight and hes pissed and he says something about not being her waiter anymore(like if you were hoping if i could get you some something to drink, im off the clock)  and shes like cmon jj you cant really be mad about that how did you think we were gonna act around each other in public and hes like well thats easy to say when youre the kook and shes like okay but i still dont see what the big deal is we’re just having sex theres nothing actually going on nothings changed and hes all like are you forreal and shes like yeah? but kinda confused and hes like you really believe theres nothing else going on and shes just speechless and he puts his headphones back on and grabs his stuff and storms off the boat and hes like you know what im done talking about this cause u dont even give a shit ur just trying to make urself feel better and he just leaves and you are just standing there shocked and then for a few weeks u are waiting for him to like climb up to ur window “always waiting for you to be waiting below” and idk where we go from here but theres probs a love confession (he confesses whatever feelings  and she like doesnt really say anything but probably kisses him and they probs fuck), then drama with kooks probs all the shit they keep giving her about JJ comes to a head (they dont actually know about them just like messing with them and maybe they try to beat him up) which makes her conflicted and she sides with them and is like hes just the guy that does a few jobs for my family we’ve barely even talked okay give it a rest. Well so that is why is JJ is so hurt cause he confessed his feelings and he thought she at least felt SOMEHTING cause no she didnt say anything but like you dont have sex with someone you hate after they tell you that they really care about you and he figured maybe it was just hard for her to say those things but apparently she doesn’t gie a shit about him and this literlaly makes me said thinking about it ugh poor jj **(also i need to add more of them getting to know each other and showing their relationship progress before this point like midsummer and show them starting to fall for each other) 

You looked outside your window, hearing some noise

“I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked”(second fight the main one not post midsummer)

“JJ you can’t just expect me to defend you to them. That's… that's not how we do things, you know that.”

“So you’re just gonna let ‘em beat my ass and talk shit huh? Just so they think you’re still one of ‘em!”

“I don’t see you defending me to your fucking pogue friends.”

“Oh yeah? Well I would!”

“Yeah! Right! You care just as much about your image as me! Except my image actually matters. It matters what people think of me JJ okay? It comes back on my future. On my parents and my family. Your dads already a piece of shit so who gives a fuck what you do?” 

“Don’t talk about my fucking dad okay--!”

“JJ he hits you! He’s a dick--”

“Yeah well I don’t care I don’t want you saying shit about him!”

“God JJ this is what im fuckin’ talkin’ about! This is why no one cares about you cause YOU don’t care about you!” He stopped. He stayed steady, eyes burning into you. Then in a quick motion he grabbed his things and went for the door. He spoke again, quieter now but still seething. 

“You know it's real damn funny you say that since you were spouting all that shit about likin’ me. But I guess it was all the weed and the ‘champagne’ or whatever the fuck you kooks drink huh?”

“What are you…?” Confusion was obvious on your face.

“That night. I came over and you were outta your mind. Said you liked me shoulda known it was bullshit.” You were even more confused now, trying to go back to that moment, rewind through this fight, and understand what you were feeling. You noticed tears had fallen from your eyes and you could’ve sworn JJ’s held some of his own, not yet spilling onto his cheeks.

“Wait no JJ that-- I didn’t--- I do and I didn’t mean what--”

“Yeah I’m actually not in the mood to hear it so,” he wiped the tear that had broken away from his watery eyes with a loud sniff and left before anymore threatened to fall.

“Were so sad we paint the town blue voted most likely to run away with you”

So here's what happens. Sarah and john B have just went straight into the storm they are gone peterkin is dead everything has gone to shit. JJ is basically hysterical and pope and kie are trying to be there for him but they are super fucked up too and JJ just doesnt know what to do hes just hurting. He cant go home cause his dad and he just doenst wanna be alone but he doesnt wanna be with his friends rn hes just feeling all of the emotions. He finds his way to your house without even really realizing where hes going and he gets there and goes up to her balcony of course. He leaning on the door and just kind of in a daze and he goes to pull on the door cause u used to leave it open for him and you hear it and are kinda freaked out so u go to peak behind the curtains and its fukcing jj and ur like what the hell but then u see he looks like hell so you open the door and (mention that he didnt know where else to go)(also it was raining when he got there then started storming after he came inside)

JJ sobbed into your shoulder, releasing what felt like all of the emotions he had ever felt, silently onto your collar. You held him against you gently, contrasting his hands clutching at your shirt, tethering him to the world. You stood there, in the middle of your room until your legs grew sore. You considered moving to your bed or even your floor but you were scared that if you moved, if you let go for even a second, JJ would collapse or somehow disappear. So you stayed right there supporting his shaking body. He ignored your initial questioning, seemingly unable to even speak when he had arrived. You tried again. 

“JJ please, you’re scaring me, what’s going on?” You felt yourself getting close to tears, thinking up the worst possible things that could have happened to make him so hysterical. A tear ran down your face and mixed with the wetness on your neck. He had started to calm down but your question punched him in the gut and blocked his airways. Nothing was ever fucking okay, especially not now and he didn’t think he could take it anymore. His breathing became more shallow and ragged, and he leaned into you more, not able to hold his own weight along with the weight of his shitty situation. 

“JJ--JJ,” you tried to interject as his crying got louder and he struggled to breath. You pushed him off of your shoulder, noticing how he swayed slightly, and grabbed the sides of his face. “JJ, breathe. Breathe. Please. It's okay.” You didn't know if anything would be okay but you tried to plead with him, tried to keep his eyes locked onto yours as you breathed slowly with him. Tears still streamed down his face and his body still shook and he swayed where he stood but he eventually took full normal breaths. You felt okay then, letting go of his face for mere seconds to take hold of his shoulder to lead him to sit on your bed. “Let’s sit. And maybe we can talk about it?” He pulled away and stood up suddenly when you hesitantly suggested he talk about the cause of his current hysterics. He sniffed, gaining slight composure. 

“No, I should go.” Sniff. “Should probably go check on Pope you know--”

“Wait. JJ it's storming you can't go out in this.” He walked toward the door.

“I got here just fine.” 

“JJ please. Please stay. I know you're mad at me right now but I… I’m really worried about you. Just-- stay please. You can have the guest room or my room or... whatever.” He conceded, walking over to your bed and sitting uncomfortably on the edge. You couldn’t help but notice the stark contrast of this moment to all the times you had laid with him in that bed talking about anything and everything, laughing until the early hours of the morning. You took a step toward him. “Do you want anything to eat?” He shook his head, eyes pointed toward the floor. “How bout I get you some dry clothes?” He continued staring at the floor as you floundered, trying your best to help him. You left the room after a long, lingering look at him, afraid to peel your eyes away and leave him unattended. You returned with some new clothes to find him in the same position he had been in three minutes ago. You set the clothes next to where he sat. 

“Thanks,” he said, still not looking at you. He grabbed the clothing and went to your bathroom. He reentered your bedroom to see you in a similar position to how he had sat moments ago. You shot up when you realized he had returned. 

“You don’t have to keep acting like that. There's nothing wrong with me.”

“I know but… you won't tell me what's going on I don’t know what to--” He began to make himself comfortable in your bed. That was fine, you could sleep in the guest room. You walked to the door leading to the hallway. “Um… I’ll let you get some rest.” You paused, hearing JJ let out a loud sigh, his hands coming up to cover his face. 

“Will you stay?” He didn’t want to ask that of you. Didn’t want you to know he craved your presence and the comfort it gave him. He was still mad at you . So angry and hurt and disappointed and he wanted you to know it. But he needed you right now. You were kind of all he had. 

“Sure. Of course.” You sat in your desk chair. His hands fell and he looked over at you. He let out another breath. 

“Will… can you hold me?” You didn’t say another word, you just went straight to him. He made space for you on the bed and you found your way to a comfortable position. The way his head so easily fell to your chest and your hands found their way to his hair made you both forget any awkwardness you had felt earlier. This was right. 

“I hope the clothes fit okay,” you said. “I’m sure they’re better than the wet clothes. But if you want I can try to find you something else. Or I put your stuff in the dryer. Should be done soon.” It was all you could think to talk about until JJ was ready to join the conversation but you figure it would help calm him to hear you talk about mindless things. 

“John B’s gone,” he said.

“What?”

“John B. He’s fucking gone!” You could feel his breathing start to quicken. Your hand that wasn’t in his hair rubbed circles across his back in an attempt to soothe him. JJ didn’t elaborate much on that aspect of the situation but you knew what he was talking about. It was late and you had already heard about all John B and Sarah, Sheriff Peterkin. The whole island was talking about it. “And I don’t fucking have anyone anymore! He was it! He was my family! My other fuckin’ friends have their own families. With ‘em right now in their nice cozy homes, mom and dad tellin’ ‘em it's all okay. But it's not! Cause now all I got is my fucking shitty dad! I just can’t wait to get out of this place. Can’t wait to fucking leave! All on my own.” There was a pause. 

“I’d go with you.” You don't know why you said it. You knew JJ was still mad at you and he wouldn’t care that you apparently wanted to run away with him. He'd probably rather be alone forever than leave the island with you. But you knew the words that left your mouth were incredibly true.

“What? Where?”

“Anywhere. If you left. I would go with you.”

“You wouldn’t leave this shit. You got it good here.”

“Yes I would. You always have me now JJ.” He stayed silent at your words that felt somehow like both a serious declaration of love and a nonchalant greeting to a friend. He didn’t  speak for a while and you wondered if he had fallen asleep when he moved his head slightly to look up at you.

“I’m still mad at you,” he said. You knew your confession wouldn’t forgive the way you had treated him. Wouldn’t fix everything between you after not speaking for weeks. So you told him.

“I know.” He laid his head back down on your chest, seemingly good with your response and your fingers continued to thread through his hair. It was almost dry now, almost back to its usual softness and you realized how much you missed the feeling. How much you missed him. “I’m really sorry JJ. My friends are dicks and I was being a dick and it’s not okay how I treated you. The things I said… I was so horrible. I didn’t even mean it but I still said it and I know I hurt you and… I don’t even know why I’m friends with them,” JJ smiled despite his state as he sensed your rambling about to begin. He always thought it was cute when you did that, “I mean I’m really not and you're the only person I really care about on the island so I should just dump those idiots. And I’m-- I’m just so sorry J and I missed you so much and-- I wanna make it up to you. I don’t want you to feel alone, I want you to know that you have me. Always. So whatever I have to do--” You felt him adjust slightly, getting more comfortable. You looked down in time to see him close his eyes, too tired or indifferent or still mad to respond to your little rant just yet. And that was okay. So you reached over and turned off your lamp engulfing you in a comforting darkness that blocked out the rest of the world and kept you safe in each other's arms if even for just one night. 

***

You woke slowly. There was little light in your room, the storm having not passed completely and covering the morning sun you were used to. You looked down to the weight you felt on your chest to see JJ and remembered last night. You closed your eyes and wrapped yourself closer around him, hoping to shield him and allow him a few more moments before he’d have to face the world, and face you. you couldn’t bear the thought of jj You fell back to sleep quickly and the next time you opened your eyes, you were face to face with JJ who was now awake. He looked sad, but much more calm. You studied his face but did not move, unsure how to go about the situation. To your surprise, JJ grabbed your hand.

“I miss you,” he said quietly looking down at your clasped hands.

“I’m right here.” You couldn't help the small smile of amusement at his words and the confusion they brought you.

“Well I missed you. And…I don’t wanna, like keep missing you. I don’t wanna go.”

“You don’t have to,” you rushed to say, “You can stay here as long as you want.” He didn’t respond. “JJ I know I really fucked up and I know you might not forgive me right now but I’m really really sorry that I didn’t defend you and that I said all that shit. I’m gonna do everything I can to fix this okay? ‘Cuz I wanna be with you. Like really be with you. And I don’t care about anyone and what they think I just care about you JJ. A lot. You… you make me really happy.” He raised your intertwined hands and began to leave kisses inside your palm and along your wrist. His brows were scrunched together and it looked as if he might cry. He continued to kiss up your arm, to your shoulder, and then to your neck where he left his face buried. You heard him sniff. 

“Yeah well you’ve got a lot of fixing to do,” he began, “Like you’re probably gonna have to buy my weed for like a year or something.” You laughed despite yourself but pushed him away slightly.

“JJ stop, I'm being serious.” He laughed slightly too.

“Yeah I am too.”

“Weed will make you forgive me,” you asked uncertainly.

“Yeah probably.”

“Then deal.”

next end of summer she has to go back to school and shes like come with me and hes like im not going to ur fucking fancy expensive college and shes like u could get a job. i have an apartment and you have money saved up for the last year so you can help pay rent so you don't like like free loader. but hes like what if we like start hating each other again or get in a bunch of fights and shes liek we’ll just have to take the chance. 

[audinosaur]

aoba johsai <3 lover

hi here’s some songs from taylor swift’s lover album that i think match each seijoh pairing :)) 

iwaoi <3 lover

i mean c’mon

it’s IWAOI ofc they get the title track

“and you’ll save all your dirtiest jokes for me / and at every table, i’ll save you a seat” 

AHSJDJ it’s them !! they don’t even have to say anything, if there’s a chair open next to iwa/oiks, everyone automatically knows who it’s unofficially reserved for

“and i’m highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you”

^ i think this covers both oikawa’s natural jealousy as well as how iwaizumi’s watched time after time again as countless amounts of people crush on his tooru

just the term “lover” for them. i think it’s the word they’d use in the timeskip when describing their “secret relationship” during interviews, it reveals as little as possible about the “mystery person” while still properly communicating just how important they are :)

matsuhana <3 it’s nice to have a friend

makki and mattsun genuinely have no fucking clue how they got together, they just sorta slowly shifted from being friends and doing friend things to doing boyfriend things and being boyfriends

bc of this they just picked a random ass day as their anniversary and just rolled w it

matsuhana’s so interesting to me because they’re friends to lovers like iwaoi/kinkuni yet each of them is a different FLAVOR of friends to lovers that i can’t quite explain but i love em

“something gave you the nerve / to touch my hand”

THEY!! YES! doing all their coupley shit all the while saying “it’s nice to have a friend” even though they both realize it’s faded into something much more

“twenty questions, we tell the truth” idk they just seem like they’ve never lied to each other before bc they’ve never had any reason to hide what they’re feeling

kyouhaba <3 afterglow

*deep inhale* OKAY there’s a LOT !

it should be noted that literally so fucking many of the other songs fit them but i want something slightly kinda happy pls :’)

i really love this song and it’s portrayal of arguing w your loved one and then taking the time afterwards to apologize and take accountability 

and there are so so many kyouhaba fics where they fight and then make amends (although i still think there should be even MORE)

i just love them having so many feelings and not enough ways to deal w them and the vulnerability when they own up to their mistakes and AAHHHHHHHH

“i don’t wanna do this to you / i don’t wanna lose this with you” and “hey, it’s all me, just don’t go” 

(^ examples of them being VULNERABLE AND OPEN)

also “tell me that you’re still mine / tell me that we’ll be just fine / even when i lose my mind”

i am normal about them! (lie)

side note i like how when perusing the seijoh couples gallery you just see “childhood friends to lovers!”, “best friends to lovers!”, “pals to lovers!”, then you turn the corner and see the most aggressive, tension-fueled enemies(?) to lovers pairing you’ve ever seen for no goddamn rhyme or reason

kinkuni <3 paper rings 

paper rings has a childlike whimsy that suits kindaichi & kunimi’s relationship perfectly 

half of the lyrics seem like things kindaichi would say to kunimi w full earnesty too

“i’m with you even if it makes me blue” and “wrap your arms around me, baby boy” !!!

(kunimi calls it “corny”, kindaichi calls it “romantic”, both with dumbass, lovestruck smiles on their faces)

“i hate accidents except when we went from friends to this” is 100% kunimi though, he doesn’t like surprises and events that require him to exert extra effort, but for kindaichi? he’s more than okay with it

the whole song is just so sugary sweet and shamelessly adorable and at the end of the day that’s what kinkuni is! (at least behind closed doors, bc they get embarrassed sometimes)

and bc i can’t leave my boy out, it should be noted that watari shinji is a red man to his very CORE. you bet your ass on his twenty-second birthday he was blasting 22 like his life depends on it

[sparxaf]

The Sun in My Eyes: Chapter Titles

Obviously, when I began writing The Sun in My Eyes, I had no idea was going to take the rest of my goddamn life to complete 🤣 So I titled the first eight chapters whatever came to mind. My absolute favorite is "The Midnight Bombshell What Bombs at Midnight" which is a very obscure reference to an episode The Tick. Runner up is, "The Night was Sultry" which is from a movie called Throw Mama from the Train. I digress... When I realized that TSIME was gonna take awhile, I started using song lyrics for chapters. I have a file that has hundreds of lyrics that follow the themes of the story like weather, light, sky, moon, stars, etc. And they're all broken down into categories of: Love & Hope, Sexy, Angsty, and Hesitance & Longing. So for each chapter I'd decide the predominate emotion and then pick a lyric from the list. Or rather I'd pick eight of them and then make @throughthejunobush pick which one 🤣

Every once in a while someone on Wattpad messages me to ask about them. So, now that the story is done, I thought I'd just share what the songs were. Enjoy!

9. This Daydream is Dangerous – Treacherous by Taylor Swift

10. Follow the Sparks, I’ll Drive –  I Think He Knows by Taylor Swift

11. A Light Shining Through – Collide by Howie Day

12. Just Outside the Circle of Light –  Circle of Light by Ani Difranco

13. Need the Sun to Break – Need the Sun to Break by James Bay

14. I Want to Give You a Brand New Sky – Sunlight by Mason Jennings

15. Captivated By You Baby Like a Fireworks Show – Sparks Fly by Taylor Swift

16. Hand in the Flame of a Flickering Lighter – She Sets the City on Fire by Gavin Degraw

17. Here Comes the Sun in the Form of a Girl – Heaven Tonight by Hole

18. Everytime You Shine, I’ll Shine for You – Jump Then Fall by Taylor Swift

19. Kiss Me Once 'Cause You Know I Had a Long Night – Paper Rings by Taylor Swift

20. Shadows Bleeding Through the Light –  Almost Here by Delta Goodrem

21. No Comfort in the Shade of Shadows Thrown – Lover of the Light by Mumford and Sons

22. Got Scared When the Lights Went Low – Soldier by Gavin Degraw

23. Just a Touch of the Fire Burning So Bright – Just a Kiss by Lady A

24. Wrap Me in Everything that Glows – Hold On by Delta Goodrem

25. Just Keep Me Where the Light Is – Gravity by John Mayer (I know he's disgusting, but I titled the chapter before I knew how awful he was)

26. Toda Mi Vida, Se Abriga Con Tu Calor – Enamorada de Ti by Selena

27. The Fear Before the Flames – Glitter in the Air by Pink

28. One Minute There was Road Beneath Us, the Next Just Sky – Falling is Like This by Ani Difranco

29. You Should See the Way She Holds Me When the Lights Go Low – Hearts Don't Break Round Here by Ed Sheeran

30. You’re All I Want, So Bring Me the Dawn – Need the Sun to Break by James Bay (again)

31. And The Sky Turned Black Like a Perfect Storm – Clean by Taylor Swift

32. It’s Hard Letting Go of the Afterglow – Headfirst by This Wild Life

33. Praying for The Light I See in Your Eyes – Believe Again by Delta Goodrem

34. Flicker and Sway, Still Dancing on the Aftertaste – Old Flame by Kimbra

35. Baby, Look Up, The Sky is Falling – The Happening by Tanerélle

36. Keep Glowing, I’ll Follow Your Explosions – Kill the Lights by Matt Nathanson

37. Like the Colors in Autumn So Bright Just Before They Lose It All – Red by Taylor Swift

38. Deserted Like the Moon is at Dawn – Sanctuary by Delta Goodrem

39. We Will Lie Under Different Stars – Different Stars by Trespassers William

40. Feels Like Summer But It’s Earthquake Weather – Earthquake Weather by Matt Nathanson

41. Day Bleeds Into Nightfall – Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi

42. Morning Light, It Stings a Little – Forever by Lewis Capaldi

43. Been Burning for You Baby Since the Moment I Left – Paul by Cavetown (some sites say it’s "minute I left," but I’d already committed to moment)

44. My Eclipsed Sun, This Has Broken Me Down – Hoax by Taylor Swift

45. Weepin’ In a Sunlit Room – My Tears Ricochet by Taylor Swift

46. Remnants of Fire Blow Like Sand in the Night – Map of the World by Mariachi El Bronx

47. Skinny Dip in Water Under the Bridge – Skinny Dipping by Sabrina Carpenter

48. Every Shadow Disappearing Into Dawn – Gold in the Summertime by Matt Nathanson

49. Making a Shelter for a Flame – Lighting Matches by Tom Grennan

50. Pocketful of Sunshine - Pocketful of Sunshine by Natasha Bedingfield

51. Starting Like a Fire, Tonight You Lit the Flame – Everything Will Change by Gavin Degraw

52. Old Flame, I Fell for Your Inferno – Old Flame by Kimbra (again)

53. Under the Exit Lights as Beautiful as Ever – Forever by Lewis Capaldi (again)

54. 'Cause You're the Storm That I Believe In – You're the Storm by The Cardigans

55. Like Stars in Hidin', You and I Burn On – Undercover by Zara Larsson

56. At Last I See the Light – I See the Light by Mandy Moore & Zachary Levi (Tangled soundtrack)

[dragon-creates]

5+1 AU Characters as Taylor Swift Songs

I got bored yesterday and my ADHD + my swiftie brain decided to put together what says would go together with the characters of my fic. This was mostly done for fun but if you know the meanings behind these songs, I'm going to enjoy feasting on your suffering 😈

Here's the link to my fic here if you haven't read it yet.

Pomni/Penny: Mirrorball

And I'm still a believer, but I don't know why. I've never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try

I thought this song best fit Pomni/Penny due to her complicated relationship with her dad and how that affected her as a person, always trying to do her best despite what's thrown at her, even if it hurts her in the process and she doesn't know why.

Jax/Jack: This Is Me Trying

Could've followed my fears all the way down And maybe I don't quite know what to say. But I'm here in your doorway I just wanted you to know. That this is me trying

I mean, I think its kinda obvious (cough cough chapter 5 cough cough). Jax/Jack went through a lot as a kid before he moved in with Winter and the Alvarez's and yes while he's hurting, he wants to heal but as ya'll know, relapses happen. But he'll always keep trying.

Riley: Karma

Karma's gonna track you down. Step by step, from town to town. Sweet like justice, karma is a queen

I had fun with this one. As ya'll know, Riley is quite protective over those she cares about (she's also an FBI agent so if you hurt Penny you probably won't be seen the next day). Riley is always gonna make sure that those who decide to fuck around are gonna find out. After all, karma is a bitch.

Winter: 22

You don't know about me but I'll bet you want to. Everything will be alright if we just keep dancing like we're 22

Ah Winter, my sassy lesbian queen. Winter has always been fun to write due to how positive and fun she is. Teasing Jack, being lovey dovey with Riley and hyping up Penny as well. She would be one of those people who throw the wildest parties and dread cleaning up the next day, but doesn't care as long as she and others are having fun.

Amber: Tolerate It

Lay the table with the fancy shit. And watch you tolerate it

Amber, mother of two and the ex of the man that everyone in discord wants dead. This reflects what her marriage to David was like and her releasing how awful he was after they divorced. Amber is a strong and protective mother bear, but she was hurt first emotionally to become that strong. Sometimes there will be moments will break, but she always picks herself back up for her girls, David forgotten at the back of her mind for their sake.

~okay let's focus on some duo/trio songs~

Pomni/Penny & Jax/Jack: Wildest Dreams

Say you'll remember me. Standin' in a nice dress. Starin' at the sunset, babe. Red lips and rosy cheeks. Say you'll see me again. Even if it's just in your wildest dreams

Come on, are you really surprised? It's the title of the last chapter and basically this fic's theme! Even if they don't realise who each other are, there memories stay in their dreams and their shown just how beautiful their love was!!!!

Riley & Winter: Paper Rings

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings. Uh-huh, that's right. Darling, you're the one I want

Let's go! Let's go lesbians let's go!!! The yuri deserve a nice lovey dovey song. These two are just so sweet with one another and the reason why Jack and Penny got together (much to Riley's disappointment lol) and they deserve all the happiness. And yes this song was in their wedding playlist.

Pomni/Penny & Riley: Safe and Sound

No one can hurt you now. Come morning light. You and I'll be safe and sound

This song is definitely a parallel of Penny and Riley's sisterhood, especially growing up with David still in the picture. Riley doing her job as an older sister, shielding her little sister whenever David wanted to target her with his verbal abuse. Riley hates every fibre of her father's being, it only got worse after he involved Penny in the car accident. No matter what, even as adults, Riley will always protect her baby sister from everything...until the day she couldn't.

Winter & Jax/Jack: The Best Day

God smiles on my little brother, inside and out. He's better than I am I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run. And I had the best days with you

This was how Winter viewed her and Jack when he moved in with her family. Jack is and always will be her little brother, even if they aren't blood related. She and her family give him the life he didn't and the space to thrive, and neither she or Jack would trade it for the world even after all these years.

Pomni/Penny & Amber: Bigger Than The Whole Sky

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye. You were bigger than the whole sky

Hehe ya'll gonna hate me for this one. But yeah, after Penny went missing, it hit Amber like a freight train. Penny was her baby, she watched her daughter go through hell and back, and helped with her healing, watched her fall in love, comforted her through her heartbreak and the next day she disappeared, and no one can find her. She grieves her daughter every day, as though she truly passed away. She and Penny had a relationship like no other, there's nothing stronger than a mother's love for her child.

Riley & Amber: Dear Reader

The greatest of luxuries is your secrets. Dear reader, when you aim at the devil make sure you don't miss. Never take advice from someone who's falling apart

While Amber loves Penny, never once did she neglect Riley or see her problems as inferior. She loves both her babies more than anything. But she can tell that Riley has gone through a lot, watching her father grow apart from her and seeing her little sister get hurt over and over again. This song is kinda reminiscent of chapter 3 (with Amber reassuring Riley that she's not wrong to feel upset with her dad), but also Amber teaching Riley what she knows and so she doesn't make the same mistakes as she did.

Amber & Riley & Pomni/Penny: Never Grow Up

Oh, darlin', don't you ever grow up. Don't you ever grow up. Just stay this little. Oh, darlin', don't you ever grow up. Don't you ever grow up. It could stay this simple

Let's end it off bittersweet with our three girls. This is reminiscing over her daughters, more so the good moments of their childhood (David isn't in these memories which isn't a surprise). It kind of hits Amber when she sees her girls all grown up and living their own lives, just how far they've come since they were kids. She gave birth to them, helped them take their first steps, cried at their first words, dropped them off both at their first days at school, teasing Riley over her first crush on a girl, comforting and spending each day Penny was in hospital after the accident, letting them cry in her shoulder over David leaving, reassured Riley that she wasn't abandoning Penny once the older of the two left for college, helped Penny overcome her eating habits, watched her girls fall in love. It leaves her tearful and proud of how much they've grown.

I hope you guys enjoyed this, and keep an eye out for my next funnybunny fic on ao3 and tumblr called 'Royally Screwed'. It's a royal AU based on the ideas and art of one of my friends on discord and I hope ya'll like it when it comes out!

[walkingtalkingsomething]

✨Taylor Swift Makes Everything Better Lyric Prompts - Pt. 2✨

It's exactly what the title says. I find song lyrics in general very inspiring and have a notebook of ones that strike me for one reason or another but don't have the 'whatever' that's needed to write them. And I unapologetically stan the hell out of Ms. Swift and am so often struck by her word choices. So this is my collection of the TS lyrics that conjure up the most thoughts - minus a ton of sad ones because I am just too soft to be putting that much angst into the world 😊

Lover

•Your name on my lips tongue tied, Free rent living in my mind - I Forgot That You Existed

•Fever dream high in the quiet of the night, You know that I caught it - Cruel Summer

•And I screamed for whatever it's worth, 'I love you,' Ain't that the worst thing you ever heard? - Cruel Summer

•There's a dazzling haze, A mysterious way about you dear, Have I've known 20 seconds or 20 years? - Lover

•I think he knows his hands around a cold glass make me wanna know that body like it's mine - I Think He Knows

•He got that boyish look that I like in a man - I Think He Knows

•Got that, Ah, I mean, Wanna see what's under that attitude - I Think He Knows

•I think he knows when we get all alone I'll make myself at home and he'll want me to stay - I Think He Knows

•Lyrical smile, Indigo eyes, Hand on my thigh we could follow the sparks, I'll drive - I Think He Knows

•We're so sad we paint the town blue, Voted most likely to run away with you - Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince

•Kiss me once cause you know I had a long night, Kiss me twice cause it's gonna be alright, Three times cause I've waited my whole life - Paper Rings

•I like shiny things but I'd marry you with paper rings, Uh huh, That's right, Darling, You're the one I want, And I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this, Uh huh, That's right, Darling, You're the one I want in paper rings, In picture frames, In dirty dreams - Paper Rings

•Barefoot in the kitchen, Sacred new beginnings that became my religion - Cornelia Street

•My heart, My hips, My body, My love, Trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch - Death By a Thousand Cuts

•Something gave you the nerve to touch my hand, It's nice to have a friend - It's Nice To Have a Friend

Folklore

•We were something, don't you think so? Rosé flowing with your chosen family, And it would've been sweet if it could've been me - The One

•And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed, You put me on and said I was your favorite - Cardigan

•You drew stars around my scars - Cardigan

•I knew you tried to change the ending, Peter losing Wendy - Cardigan

•I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss, I knew you'd haunt all of my what ifs, The smell of smoke would hang around this long - Cardigan

•I think I've seen this film before and I didn't like the ending - Exile

•I can see you staring, Honey, Like he's just your understudy, Like you'd get your knuckles bloodied for me - Exile

•And I've been meaning to tell you I think your house is haunted, Your dad is always mad and that must be why - Seven

•I can see us lost in the memory/And I can see us twisted in bedsheets - August

•I didn't know if you'd care if I came back, I have a lot of regrets about that - This Is Me Trying

•And maybe I don't quite know what to say, But I'm here in your doorway - This Is Me Trying

•You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else/You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else - Illicit Affairs

•And isn't it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me? - Invisible String

•Right now is the last time I can dream about what happens when you see my face again - Betty

•But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm If your cascade ocean wave blues come - Peace

•And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences, Sit with you in the trenches, Give you my wild, Give you a child, Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other, Family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother - Peace

•Don't want no other shade of blue but you, No other sadness in the world would do - Hoax

•You knew the password so I let you in the door - Hoax

•Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die, I don't belong and my beloved neither do you - The Lakes

Evermore

•Wherever you stray, I follow - Willow

•Head on the pillow, I could feel you creeping in as if you were a mythical thing, Like you were a trophy or a champion ring, But there was one prize I'd cheat to win - Willow

•Your Midas touch on the Chevy door, November flush and your flannel cure - Champagne Problems

•There's an ache in you put there by the ache in me - 'Tis The Damn Season

•And the heart I know I'm breaking is my own, To leave the warmest bed I've ever known - 'Tis The Damn Season

•Gain the weight, Then lose it - Tolerate It

•No one teaches you what to do when a good man hurts you, And you know you hurt him too - Happiness

But are you still the same soul I met under the bleachers? - Dorothea

•And do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? Will you forgive my soul when you're too wise to trust me and too old to care? - Coney Island

•Oh, Goddamn, My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand - Ivy

•My house of stone, Your ivy grows and now I'm covered in you - Ivy

•Your opal eyes are all I wish to see, He wants what's only yours - Ivy

•So yeah, It's a fire, It's a goddamn blaze in the dark and you started it - Ivy

• You're a bandit like me, Eyes full of stars, Hustlin' for the good life, Never thought I'd meet you here - Cowboy Like Me

•And the skeletons in both our closets plotted hard to fuck this up - Cowboy Like Me

•Now you hang from my lips like the gardens of Babylon, With your boots beneath my bed, Forever is the sweetest con - Cowboy Like Me

•And it's been so long but if you ever think you got it wrong, I'm right where you left me - Right Where You Left Me

Midnights

•And I wake with your memory over me, That's a real fucking legacy to leave - Maroon

•I wake up screaming from dreaming one day I'll watch as your leaving and life will lose all its meaning for the last time  - Anti Hero

•And time can't stop me quite like you did - Snow on the Beach

•I wait patiently, He's gonna notice me, It's ok we're the best of friends...anyways - You're on Your Own, Kid

•They said the end coming, Everyone's up to something, I find myself running home to your sweet nothings, Outside they're push and shoving, You're in the kitchen humming, All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing - Sweet Nothing

•To you I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it - Sweet Nothing

Misc.

•Seen you fall, Seen you crawl on your knees, Seen you lost in a crowd, Seen your colors fade, Wish I could make it better, Someday you won't remember this pain you thought would last forever and ever - Sweeter Than Fiction

•What a sight when the light came on, Proved me right when you proved them wrong - Sweeter Than Fiction

•Follow me home if you dare to, I wouldn't know where to lead you - Beautiful Ghosts

Part. 1

[themculibrary]

Taylor Swift Lyric Titles Masterlist

all too well (druig & makkari) (ao3) - camihearts druig/makkari T, 2k

Summary: All Too Well (Taylor’s Version) but make it Druig and Makkari.

don't blame me, (love made me crazy) (ao3) - fluffy_miracle loki/mobius M, 2k

Summary: Mobius is tired. Angry. He's been searching for Loki for fucking days because he ran after his variant and Mobius feels so fucking stupid because he should have seen it coming. Now the TVA has them both back in custody where they belong and Mobius is more than a little jealous. He wanted Loki to look at him like he does at Sylvie. How this god has affected his impulse control because Mobius finds himself shoving Loki up agains the wall and telling him exactly what he wants from him.

Loki doesn't respond the way Mobius thought he would.

dreaming ‘bout the day (ao3) - tellxmebby steve/tony T, 3k

Summary: Tony/Steve Highschool AU fic based on Taylor Swift’s music video “You Belong With Me”.

fearless (ao3) - softeninglooks steve/tony N/R, 1k

Summary: Where Steve catches up on modern music in Tony’s workshop.

hey, stephen (i’ve been holding back this feeling) (ao3) - hopelessrdj tony/stephen G, 11k

Summary: Tony Stark and Stephen Strange have never met each other before until the day every student at their university gets forced into attending one co-educative class not connected to their major. Both geniuses end up in the music department and in order to make it more interesting they come up with a competition between the two of them.

In Paper Rings, In Picture Frames (Oh, You're The One I Want) (ao3) - OceanSpray5 druig/makkari G, 14k

Summary: Or, Druig and Makkari get married and wait for the rest of their oblivious family to figure it out.

invisible string (ao3) - captasha_universe steve/natasha T, 4k

Summary: Three years after Steve divorces his ex-wife Sharon, Natasha and her daughter Lucy receive a surprise visit from Steve and his two kids, resulting in a wonderful day spent and Natasha and Steve rekindling their romance of the past.

it felt like home somehow (ao3) - orlandoblueberry wanda/vision G, 5k

Summary: After a dinner where the Avengers all come out as Taylor Swift fans, Vision seeks Wanda’s help to understand the appeal of this kind of music. Romance ensues, obviously.

loving him was red (and blue) (ao3) - 70sBabe mj/peter T, 22k

Summary: the story of Peter/MJ, told through the tracks of Taylor Swift's album Red

maroon (ao3) - MissAmyShay mj/peter E, 13k

Summary: In which Peter and MJ spend an eventful 24 hours together after three years apart.

on a wednesday, in a cafe (ao3) - TaraLy gilgamesh/thena T, 111k

Summary: Thenamesh Coffee Shop AU. No angst, no plot, only love (and food).

one single thread of gold tied me to you (ao3) - vegetativestate druig/makkari G, 1k

Summary: The smile this dredges up in Druig is brighter and more radiant than anything a Celestial could conjure, and Makkari thinks, there it is. The sun.

So they lie there, on the duvet, under the stars, centuries worth of lost time stitched together as they breathe their own galaxy into existence.

or, Makkari and Druig decide to take a vacation after the Emergence and before they leave Earth, where they talk and stargaze. Sensibly.

the more you say the less i know (wherever you stray, i follow) (ao3) - notcaycepollard sam/bucky M, 22k

Summary: It starts in the desert.

the way i loved you (ao3) - agayturtle wanda/natasha T, 3k

Summary: “It’s 2am and I’m cursing your name…”

Wanda and Natasha’s relationship didn’t last longer than a couple of months, but Natasha can’t help but wonder if they made the right choice when they ended things.

or The Way I Loved You by Taylor Swift but it’s Wandanat.

you are the best thing that's ever been mine (hold on, never turn back) (ao3) - lesbiannshit wanda/natasha G, 1k

Summary: Natasha and Wanda fight and Nat expects Wanda to leave, but to her surprise, Wanda stays. (loosely based off of Taylor Swift's song Mine)

you can call me babe for the weekend (ao3) - complicationstoo steve/tony T, 10k

Summary: Tony left his small town for Los Angeles after high school, leaving behind everything to pursue his dream. Ten years later, he comes back for the first time and finds that some things are impossible to let go of.

you can hear it in the silence (you can feel it on the way home) (ao3) - notcaycepollard steve/bucky/sam E, 2k

Summary: “Are you two drunk?” he asks, and Sam laughs, blushes enough to confirm it. Bucky gasps, just a little, and Steve narrows his eyes a little more. “Are you fucking?” Bucky giggles, something that turns into a breathy sigh halfway through, and god, they are, they’re drunk and fucking and Steve was at work, it’s not fair, they are the worst.

“It was Sam’s idea,” Bucky tells him, and Sam brings his hand up from under the covers, smacks him lightly in the shoulder.

“The fort was my idea. Drinking and fucking, that was all you, Barnes.”

you look like my next mistake (ao3) - littlemissstark315 loki/tony M, 3k

Summary: based off Taylor Swifts “Blank Space”, Tony beds the wrong woman for the weekend, barely escaping with his life intact.

[tellerluna-stories]

tellerluna-tunes: to find a home in your heart!

A/N: since this fic took me almost a year to write, I ended up listening to all sorts of music in the process of making it. but for some reason, the genres that fit with the vibe of this fic the most were indie music or OPM, as well as the OST of kimi ni todoke itself. hope you enjoy this lil playlist!

read the original fic here!

TITLE TRACK: kimi ni todoke by tanizawa tomifumi!

this is the theme song from the very show/manga that brought this fanfic to life!! it has a very sweet, slice-of-life vibe that makes me think of the walks that thoma and mc have going to and from school. the lyrics are very fitting for them as well~~

angel baby by troye sivan

thoma is the angel. can we all agree on that? okay but jokes aside a lot of the songs have common themes about allowing someone to care for you/ caring for someone at their most vulnerable point. so that's why this song is here !!

to the bone by pamungkas

I actually got the inspiration for the title + main theme of homecoming from this song, specifically the lyric that goes "take me home, I'm falling." if home is where the heart is, then where do you think thoma and mc's homes lie?

habang buhay by zack tabudlo

some OPM for the soul, (and totally not bc of conyo thoma HAHAHA). i don't have enough room to recommend all the zack tabudlo songs I listened to for this fic, but this one in particular suits the dreamy, lovestruck vibes that the two idiots (affectionate) have for each other.

labyrinth by taylor swift

this song is meant for the mc, whose fear of emotional vulnerability is constantly challenged by thoma's warmth and kindness. unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) for them, puppy-boys will still wriggle their way into your heart, whether you are ready or not.

unconditionally by katy perry

I think that the lyrics fit how thoma and mc accept each other's hidden sides as part of themselves without judgement, and are willing to go to extreme lengths to take care of each other even if it meant going against their usual behaviour (e.g. the non-confrontational mc punching someone's lights out for their puppy-boy and thoma exhibiting mafia boss behaviour when mc was in trouble.) slay tbh

paper rings by taylor swift

a happy, summery song for these goofballs!! it makes me think of their rooftop picnics at lunchtime and study sessions <3 also they would definitely marry each other with paper rings change my mind

golden hour by jvke

the theme song that plays when thoma smiles his dentist-approved smile JKJK,, I feel like this song captures how it feels when either of the two look at each other!! especially when thoma met mc at the crosswalk for the first time; that scene in particular was inspired by the concept of 'koi no yokan'.

captivated by iv of spades

this works for both people but I particularly imagine it as a song from thoma to mc, who is often misunderstood or forgotten by their peers. they are so sweet and I always felt like I was thirdwheeling them when I was writing HUHUHUU

pasilyo by sunkissed lola

now THIS is the song that I imagined would play in the final scene at the crosswalk, right before mc and thoma reunite. with an empty road for an aisle, the setting sun and falling leaves for lighting and decoration... *coughs* it seems like foreshadowing for their wedding, don't you think?

[mortrichor]

「 ✦ NYARAI ✦ 」

how to obtain: the bell chimes in search of memories

⤷ name: march 6th / nyarai ⤷ other titles: the silent sister, a cat in disguise ⤷ age: unspecified ⤷ pronouns: she/her ⤷ species: ???

⤷ factions: the astral express, the nameless ⤷ path: the hunt ⤷ combat type: lightning ⤷ world: unspecified

⤷ nicknames: nya, rai, march (rarely), kitty

「 lore 」 found floating in six-phase ice a day before her "sister," nyarai was named after the day she was found - march 6th. when march 7th was discovered the next day, welt stepped up to actually name her nyarai as a way to distinguish between the two. very rarely called march herself, the two girls don't recall where they're from nor if they're related but the astral express find it coincidental that they were both trapped in ice close to each other if they're biologically related.

known as the silent sister between the two of them, nyarai is actually completely blind. on top of this, she's incredibly silent whenever she walks, making her stealthy like a cat. her hearing is also exceptionally good like a cat's. due to this, the express decided to make her wear a bell collar so that they can hear her approach - and stop being scared of her.

nyarai doesn't leave the express often as a result of her being blind but when she does, she's commonly stuck to either himeko or dan heng. as time progresses, she gradually leans more towards dan heng.

「 character description 」 work in progress.

「 combat 」 work in progress.

「 eidolons 」 work in progress.

「 traces 」 work in progress.

「 voice-overs 」 work in progress.

「 notable songs from her playlist 」 ⤷ team - lorde ⤷ paper rings - taylor swift ⤷ riptide - vance joy ⤷ sparks - coldplay ⤷ i like me better - lauv

⊹˚₊‧───────────────‧₊˚⊹

© mortrichor 2024. | do not re-upload, copy, translate, etc. my original characters on any form of media.

[nicnight9]

An Endless Summer Character Profiles: Amélie Christensen!

🐇 Amélie, also known as "Hartfeld's local princess", has a lot of reasons to receive her title - she is charming, a complete sweetheart, caring and sensitive, she has the ability of conquering everyone that faces her. 🐇 However, some things in her are rather sour than sweet. For example, she makes sure to let everyone know that her presence on La Huerta was not her own choice. As a matter of fact, she's only there by her stepmother's request. 🐇 Liked by many and delicate as a flower, Amélie is actually quite a mysterious girl. She's not very into interacting with the popular crew at her college, much less the rich folks. Maybe it's for the better, or maybe her own heart is too soft to deal with them. 🐇 Like everyone on the island, Amélie also has a secret. For some reason, Amélie is only seen wearing hoodies and sweaters when in public - also refusing to take them off at any situation. What she could be hiding, no one dares to ask.

Basic Data

20 years old Born in 03/18/2000, in Saint-Jean-Cap-Ferrat Sophomore at Hartfeld, Veterinary Medicine Major Uses she/her pronouns Identifies as bisexual

Loves: all animals, fluffy blankets and using emojis

Hates: killing bugs, parties and washing her own hair

Fun Data

Is a Pisces Her MBTI is INFJ (aka The Advocate) Her Hogwarts House would be Hufflepuff, and her Godly Parent would be Demeter.

Favorite Things

Movie: Before Sunrise TV Show: Steven Universe Food: Pasta Carbonara Drink: Frapuccino Hobbie: Gardening Best Friend: (Almost) Roberta!

Fun Facts

🐇Spends most of her time at her family's farm, taking care of crops and animals; 🐇Is on a journey to become a vegetarian.

Moodboard

Some inspiration pictures, characters i relate her to and just overall vibe from the character! Check the moodboard over here!

Amélie's Fashion

Her entire wardrobe is made by winter clothing - hoodies, long-sleeves, turtlenecks, sweaters... I also like putting her in pastel colors and soft/fun prints - something in her almost screams childlike, considering this cute, borderline cottagecore style. Inspo here!

Amélie's Playlist

Feet Don't Fail Me Now - Foxes

Paper Rings - Taylor Swift

People Watching - Conan Grey

Perfect Places - Lorde

prom dress - mxtoon

Running Up That Hill - Kate Bush

Sign Of The Times - Harry Styles

two queens in a king sized bed - girl in red

Washing Machine Heart - Mitski

Would You Be So Kind - dodie

link for playlist here!

"I know most of you think of me as some sort of child but... I still wanna be useful to you guys"

[swiftracer13]

The Taylor Swift Song Tournament day 35

Day 35 means that we're already in the semi-finals of the Lover songs. And because yesterday's clear win of Cornelia Street against Paper Rings, these are the four songs that are still in the race for the title:

Cruel Summer

Death By A Thousand Cuts

Cornelia Street

The Archer

And we start the semi-finals with Cruel Summer against Death By A Thousand Cuts.

And if you already voted in this torunament before, feel free to go directly to the voting, otherwise please keep reading.

How it works:

Over the next weeks I will do votings, giving you the choice between two songs and the song that gets more votes will advance to the next round. So in some months we will have the most popular Taylor Swift song as the winner of this tournament.

We started with the songs from the Midnights album and now are at the Lover songs. I had drawn the pairings with the help of random.org, so it's totally random how they are paired up.

[dayoldtea]

Joe passionately rambling on about Y/N for six mins and thirty-four seconds video

Pairing: Joe Keery x Actress!Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

Category: Fluff. That's all.

Warning: None

Summary: Steve Harrington and Penelope Carter did not stay together at the end of the fourth season of Stranger Things, and the internet has a lot to say about that. In contrast, to warm the hearts of Stenny's fans, one fan shares a six mins and thirty-four second compilation of Joe Keery passionately rambling on about you, his girlfriend, and coincidentally Penny Carter herself.

"Joe literally pinched himself upon seeing Y/N on set for the first time." Matt Duffer told during an interview with Variety in June 2022. "You remember that, right?"

Ross Duffer, sitting next to his brother, laughed as he shook his head, arms crossed over his chest. "There's no forgetting it." He joked. "They sat next to each other in the script room, and you could just see how nervous he was. It was a really fun thing to watch."

Matt nodded, humming as he did so.

"Yeah, I think that's why we can say that we were kind of prepared for the negative fan reaction regarding Steve and Penny's tragic ending in season four, you know?" He added. "We knew from the beginning that it would be hard to convince the audience that Steve and Nancy should be something when we had Joe Keery in love with Y/NY/L/N since the first time he saw her."

To say that the internet was in mourning would be an understatement.

The fourth season of Stranger Things had premiered some time ago, and for fans of the TV show, that was synonymous with hope. This time, Steve Harrington and Penelope Carter will finally be together.

The development from friends to lovers between the characters was something that fans had longed for since the first season, which unfortunately did not happen. Penelope received a tragic ending in Upside Down, and the scene in which her bloodied body was embraced by a miserably distraught Steve had generated thousands of disgruntled tweets and videos on TikTok — most of them featuring puffy-eyed girls, tears streaming down their cheeks as the scene in question played in the background.

Steve and Penelope hadn't gotten the ending they deserved, but you and Joe were the protagonists of another story, this one being in real life, and knowing that you two had been together for more than four years mended a little the crack left in the hearts of Stenny fans.

One video in particular, accumulating a little over 1,5 million views on YouTube, had been shared by a Twitter account along with the hashtag JusticeForStenny, on the rise since the last episode of the fourth season was aired:

@stennylover: steve and penelope didn't get a chance to be together and I know everyone here is heartbroken about it, but here is a compilation of joe passionately rambling on about yn for six mins and thirty-four seconds to warm your hearts

The video in question begins by showing the title text in white capital letters on a black background, the instrumental of Paper Rings by Taylor Swift playing in the background:

Joe Keery passionately rambling on about Y/NY/L/N for six mins and thirty-four seconds straight.

cut

The first recording shows Joe standing in front of a white background during the Glamour's friendship test, arms behind his back and eyes fixed on the floor. He was wearing a plain black shirt, the length of his hair a little shorter than that sported by Steve Harrington indicating that he was preparing for another role.

"I— I was just mesmerized the first time I saw her, honestly." He shakes his head slowly, his lips curving into a comforting smile. "She was visibly excited to be on set. It was like it was her first time in an environment like that, and it was really adorable to see her so excited about every little thing that happened." He said before looking at the camera, the smile not abandoning his lips. "When we had scenes together— which happened a lot, I used get so fucking nervous." Joe laughed, his cussing censored by a beep. "I was constantly getting my lines wrong because of that, and she's always been so thoughtful and patient about it, you know? Which only made my situation worse, actually." He joked, scratching the back of his neck as his eyes meet the floor once again. "She would always ask me if I needed a break, because, you know, she genuinely thought that these mistakes were because of fatigue or something, when internally I was like, 'Oh, I'm fine, I'm sorry about that, I'm just, you know, thinking of a way to ask you out on a date.'"

The video then cuts to the Wired autocomplete interview granted by Joe and Gaten Matarazzo.

Gaten is holding the styrofoam board while the phrases with "is joe keery" remain hidden under white stickers.

"Okay, so let's see what we have here." Joe hums as he pulls out the first sticker. "Is Joe Keey," he begins, "Y/N/Y/L/N's boyfriend in real life?"

"I love the fact that your first question has to do with Y/N." Gaten joked.

"Yeah, I was about to say that, man." Joe played along, leaning forward with one hand on his knee. "But yes, I am Y/N's boyfriend in real life."

"Title he's most proud of." Gaten punctuated, raising his index finger.

Joe clicked his tongue, a smug smile adorning the corner of his lips. "I mean, my girlfriend is Y/N/Y/L/N." He makes a point of stressing your name as if no one knows. "You don't meet many guys this lucky."

Gaten contracted his face in a fake expression of disgust, shaking his head before looking directly at the camera.

"We are still on a mission to find out how much he is paying Y/N."

The next cut is from an interview of Joe to GQ Spain where he was responding to some comments from fans on the internet.

"Youtube." Joe announced before the edit added a lofi song along with a video of Stranger Things fan comments on a scene of Steve and Penelope in the second season, then focusing on one specific user. "I honestly don't know how Steve doesn't realize that Penelope has a crush on him. Is he an idiot?" He reads as the comment remains on the screen.

The video then turns back to Joe.

"I mean, yeah?" He laughs, the video returning to the commentary session as Joe's lines were added as a response along with a typing sound. "I see a lot of Y/N—my girlfriend, in Penelope, you know? Not just because she plays her, obviously, but also because they're both so smart and have such a gentle soul that it's almost like they're magnetic, so when someone asks me what the similarities are between me and Steve, I make it clear that I'm a little smarter when it comes to girls, because I would never let someone like Y/N or Penelope get away. Thank you."

The video then cuts to an interview of Joe on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Kimmel.

"Can we— Can we talk about Y/N/Y/L/N?" Jimmy asked as he leaned over his desk. The audience whistled and clapped loudly as soon as your name was mentioned, making Joe smile. "I mean, we all love her here, and we know you've been together for years— over three years, right?"

"Yeah, that's right." Joe squeaked, shaking his head. "We kind of got tired of just being on screen, you know?" He made a joke, laughing at the thunderous reaction from the audience.

"Man, this is so cool!" Jimmy exclaimed genuinely, causing Joe to nod his head and mutter an almost inaudible "thank you." "And how was the preparation for you two for this fourth season? If I'm correct, the recordings were interrupted due to the pandemic, right?"

"Oh, yes, unfortunately we had that setback and that's why there was a significant delay compared to the other seasons." Joe explained.

"And you two were together during that time?" Jimmy inquired curiously, arching his eyebrows. "Practicing the script together and all that stuff?"

Joe crossed his legs, interlacing his fingers over his lap.

"Well, we did a lot of fun stuff during those months, and of course discussing the script ended up being one of them, but we also kind of took that time to disconnect a little bit, you know?" Joe replied, "We cook together, we write songs together, we learn about gardening on YouTube…" He enumerated with his fingers, "just a bunch of cool stuff."

"Oh, that sounds amazing." Jimmy said in an impressed tone. "Just a couple discovering new hobbies, right?"

"Yeah, but Y/N, she's just— she's just a lot smarter and more talented than me, you know?" Joe said amidst a laugh. "She can act, she can write, she can sing, she can knit, she can read a book about what are the right garden pots for each kind of seed and suddenly become a big Wikipedia on the subject…" he rambled, gesticulating excitedly, "It's amazing. She is amazing. I'm one hundred percent sure she could build a rocket from scratch if she wanted to."

"Wow." Jimmy smiled, exchanging a quick glance with the audience before facing Joe again. "So I guess we can say you're a little bit in love, right?"

Joe blushes, his eyes dropping to the floor before turning to Jimmy. "Yeah, I kind of am."

[tillidontneedfantasy]

A Track-by-Track Breakdown of Taylor Swift’s 10th Studio Album: ‘Midnights’

You would expect by the time a pop star has spent over 15 years in the spotlight that they would run out of steam. But on her 10th studio album, Midnights, Taylor Swift is as energized as ever. Even more impressive, the debut numbers are the biggest of her career yet, landing on a whopping 1.578 million, 1.1 million of those in pure album sales alone. These first week numbers are even larger than that of 1989, which is a huge feat.

Many pieces factor into success like what we’re seeing in this case. One is Swift’s exceptional marketing skills. Her dedicated fans will come out in droves to purchase her art, and the mysterious buzz that centered around the album intrigued the public to tune in. The star’s highly acclaimed releases of folklore (2021’s album of the year) and evermore (a 2022 album of the year nominee) during the pandemic certainly brought in a ton of new fans who perhaps overlooked her sharp lyricism before. But Taylor wants you to know that despite her magical stay in the forest and woodlands, she is in fact still bejeweled, and ready to remind everyone how much her shine still shimmers as a pop titan.

Presented as a loose concept album, Midnights centers on 13 sleepless nights throughout Taylor’s life (plus 7 songs on the “3am edition” that also fit the theme). Surely as she has been re-recording her albums as Taylor’s Versions, old feelings and memories have come to the surface that she is revisiting from a new perspective. Midnights still showcases Swift’s unmatched lyrical ability while taking us on a Jack Antonoff led synth journey.

1. Lavender Haze “All they keep asking me is if I’m gonna be your bride,” Swift laments on the opening track “Lavender Haze.” Which is funny because she spent 2019’s Lover with a bridge of wedding vows and a song about marrying her boyfriend of 6 years now, actor Joe Alwyn, with paper rings. But it is also an astute observation on how the world sees women, as she rejects “the 1950s shit they want from me.” She doesn’t want to follow anyone else’s wishes or timelines, or answer anyone’s questions, she just wants to stay staring at the ceiling with her partner, immersed in the lavender haze (a saying she caught from an episode of Mad Men). She knows that’s where she’s safest, because she’s “damned if I do give a damn what people say.” As an opening track, it delivers sonically and melodically, even in its smaller moments (the little “yeah oh yeah”s in the pre chorus are addictive), it’s a grand number.  Best lyric: “I’m damned if I do give a damn what people say.”

2. Maroon The title track of Swift’s project Red is placed at track two. So it’s no surprise that Swift placed a song with red shade as its title in the same spot. “Maroon” details all the little scarlet moments throughout the ups and downs of a relationship, some examples including wine, hickeys, the sky, and rust. The first verse shows the relationship at its peak, “laughing with my feet in your lap, like you were my closest friend,” and the second verse juxtaposes it with its breakdown, “sobbing with your head in your hands, ain’t that the way shit always ends?” The final chorus on the track holds some of Taylor’s most interesting (and sensual) vocal delivery to date, her lower register extremely impressive and underrated. Best lyric: “The rust that grew between telephones.”

3. Anti-Hero Do you remember in 2012 when everyone and their father would make jokes that Taylor Swift should write a song called “Maybe I’m The Problem” as a response to her breakup songs? Well, ten years later, she gave them something very close to what they asked. “It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem, it’s me,” she sings in the chorus of the lead single “Anti-Hero” (though not released prior to the album), which Swift claims to be one of her favorite songs she’s ever written. On folklore and evermore, Taylor sang about mental health struggles without explicitly saying that she was the subject of those songs. However, here, it is clearly autobiographical without question. As a fan, to hear her so blatantly say “my depression” in a song was both jarring and relatable. The track lays out her intrusive thoughts about herself, her maladaptive behaviors, ignoring people or pushing loved ones away instead of letting them in. While she sings “I’ll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror,” the song shows how much her music is safe haven for her to sneak a glance at her reflection.  Best lyric: “Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism, like some kind of congressman?”

4. Snow On The Beach (ft. Lana Del Rey) The dreamy “Snow On The Beach” is a romantic love ballad in which Swift is mesmerized by the fact that the person she wants actually wants her back. She can’t quite believe their love, and she’s afraid if she speaks of it, she’ll find out it was an illusion all along. Throughout Swift’s music, and especially in this song, she uses light to describe her partner, singing “I’ve never seen someone lit from within, blurring out my periphery.” While Lana Del Rey, someone Swift hails as one of her musical idols, mostly singing background vocals might seem like an odd choice, just like seeing snow on the beach, it’s “weird, but fucking beautiful.” Best lyric: “Flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful.”

5. You’re On Your Own, Kid “You’re On Your Own, Kid” is a journey through Swift’s life and career thus far. The song starts by detailing an unrequited love, which leads her to writing songs in her room and playing them in the parking lot, eventually running away and pursuing her dream of becoming a star. And although her dreams aren’t rare, her success surely is. But even at the height of her success, no longer sitting by herself at the lunch table at junior high, she still found herself alone. “I hosted parties and starved my body, like I’d be saved by a perfect kiss / The jokes weren’t funny, I took the money, my friends from home don’t know what to say.” She was degraded by the public and degraded herself. And just as things got better, her life’s work that she put her blood, sweat, and tears into was sold out from under her. But the Taylor’s Versions have been able to give her some solace, “Everything you lose is a step you take.” She ends the song on a hopeful note, reminding herself that she doesn’t have to be afraid; she’s always been on her own and she’s always made it through, and she always will. And the listener can resonate too. We’re all truly on our own at the end of the day, but we’ve gotten this far; we can keep going. Best lyric: “I hosted parties and starved my body, like I’d be saved by a perfect kiss.”

6. Midnight Rain On “Midnight Rain,” Taylor highlights the differences between the life she could’ve had and the life she pursued. “He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain / he wanted a bride, I was making my own name,” she (and a distorted voice) sings in the chorus. That life of a small-town girl is far away now, and not one she ever truly wanted, but one she sometimes sneaks a peak at through postcards and time portals and wonders what it might be like. Similar to “Lavender Haze,” this track establishes Swift’s aversion to societal standards, and her embracement of constantly changing and evolving, as evident through her music and career to date. It’s a real catchy ear worm, and after a few listens you really learn to love that voice distortion. Best lyric: “He wanted it comfortable, I wanted that pain.”

7. Question…? While Taylor leaves many hints as to what or who some of her songs might be about, “Question…?” Has one of her most obvious clues to date, as the song starts with a sampling of her song “Out of the Woods” from 1989, a song famously known to be about her relationship with Harry Styles. Not only is there the sample, but also lyrical parallels. “The rest of the world was black and white / but we were in screaming color,” she sings on “Out of the Woods.” On “Question…?” She says, “I don’t remember who I was before you painted all my nights a color I’ve searched for since.” One could assume while going back and rerecording 1989, she may have reflected on the relationship, with questions popping up. While it seems as if Swift knows the answers to these questions already, she still wants to ask them and get the confirmation and closure she’s searching for, a very relatable feeling. Just like in life, though, she doesn’t get any explicit answers in the song, but maybe she doesn’t need them anymore, anyway. Best lyric: “Does it feel like everything’s just like second best after that meteor strike?”

8. Vigilante Shit When listing the things that kept Taylor up at night, serving as inspiration for this album, one thing she cites is plotting revenge. In the revenge fantasy “Vigilante Shit,” Swift tips off the FBI about her enemy (presumably Sc**ter Br**n) and his “white collar crimes,” and assists his ex-wife in winning their divorce. “I don’t start shit, but I can tell you how it ends,” she croons. Which, historically, is true. Swift has rarely been the instigator of a feud or fight, but when she’s targeted, she comes back on top every time. After all, karma is her boyfriend. Best lyric: “Ladies always rise above, ladies know what people want / someone sweet, and kind, and fun / the lady simply had enough.”

9. Bejeweled “Bejeweled” is an exciting and fun pop song about letting go of the people and things that drag you down and allowing yourself to shimmer again. We can surmise that “Bejeweled” represents a night during a dead-end relationship where she finally prioritized herself again and learned she can still shine on her own right. In a radio interview, Swift said that “Bejeweled” mirrored her re-entrance into the pop landscape after her folk escapades, and that she had to pump herself back up into believing that she could still do it. The track itself proves that Swift stills rules without competition. Best lyric: “And when I meet the band, they ask, ‘Do you have a man?’ I could still say, ‘I don’t remember.’”

10. Labyrinth One of the few ballads on the standard edition, “Labyrinth” tracks Taylor’s thought process as she realizes she’s falling in love again, despite all of her fears after being burned in the past. She laments her pain and acknowledges her worries. The progression from “uh oh,” to “oh no,” to “oh,” before the line “I’m falling in love,” shows her trepidation turned to acceptance, due to the length’s this person would go to just to make her smile. While there are some synth sounds that seem slightly out of place, overall it is a song anyone who is learning to open up their hearts after being hurt can relate to. Best lyric: “Break up, break free, break through, break down.”

11. Karma “Ask me why so many fade, but I’m still here,” she sings on “Karma.” The answer? One could be her incredible talent and hard work ethic. But an additional answer is because her and karma vibe like that. In this catchy pop hit, Taylor reaps the rewards of staying true to who she is while karma takes down her enemies who never keep their side of the street clean. She knows karma is on her side, and she can relax trusting that it’ll do its thing. And so far, it has served her well. In the most Taylor Swift™ fashion of all time, she compares karma to a cat purring in her lap because it loves her. And it is! It does! Best lyric: “Karma’s a relaxing thought / aren’t you envious that for you it’s not?”

12. Sweet Nothing Co-penned by William Bowery aka Joe Alwyn, “Sweet Nothing” is a love song from Swift to Alwyn. She discusses all the negative things going on around her and the way people push and shove to get a piece of her, while her partner is just in the kitchen humming, asking nothing of her, just loving her as she is. We get a brief peak into their dynamic in the truly sweet lyric, “On the way home, I wrote a poem / you say, ‘what a mind,’ this happens all the time.” To be loved for your mind rather than your status is a gift for someone like Swift. I’m sure the poems are lovely. Best lyric: “Outside, they’re push and shoving, you’re in the kitchen humming / all that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing.”

13. Mastermind A word that has been weaponized against Taylor over the years is “calculated.” On “Mastermind,” the standard edition’s closing track, she owns the claim, singing, “I’m only cryptic and Machiavellian cuz I care.” “Mastermind” is Taylor’s confession to her partner that she masterminded their entire relationship from the first night he saw her. She confides in him in one of her most personal lyrics yet, singing, “No one wanted to play with me as a little kid / so I've been scheming like a criminal ever since / to make them love me and make it seem effortless.” She thought no one could love her unless she tricked them into it. But upon her confession, his smile proves her wrong, because he knew the entire time that she thought she was masterminding their relationship, but in reality he went along with it because he wanted her too, schemes and all. She finally found her effortless love. Best lyric: “No one wanted to play with me as a little kid / so I've been scheming like a criminal ever since / to make them love me and make it seem effortless.”

3am Tracks

14. The Great War On the first 3am track, Taylor teams back up with her other folklore & evermore collaborator, Aaron Dessner of The National. “The Great War” seems to be about a fight in a relationship, and Swift’s difficulty bouncing back from it. She lays out her lack of trust from past relationships and how that has interfered with reconciliation efforts, as she sings, “And maybe it’s the past that’s talking, screaming from a crypt / telling me to punish you for things you never did.” But despite some of these maladaptive behaviors, her partner still reached for her hand, trying to make things right. And they did it, they survived, and that survival brought back her faith.  Best lyric: “You drew up some good faith treaties / I drew curtains closed, drank my poison all alone.”

15. Bigger Than The Whole Sky “Bigger Than The Whole Sky” is a song about loss. Although the loss of exactly what is unclear, the grief is palpable. She searches for what might have caused such a tragedy, wondering if she was at fault. There are so many questions in grief to which we never receive answers. This song has resonated with many fans online, relating it to their own personal experiences of miscarriages, deaths, and pet losses.  Best lyric: “Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness.”

16. Paris In this fun pop song, Taylor compares the view of her partner to that of the city of Paris. She’s so in love that she might stop breathing, that she doesn't care about her friends’ gossip or what’s on the news. She’s transported into a world of romance where nothing else matters, where alleyways appear and cheap wine tastes like champagne. It’s the excitement of completely falling into someone as the rest of the world fades away. Best lyric: “I wanna brainwash you into loving me forever.”

17. High Infidelity “High Infidelity” is an intriguing track, produced by Aaron Dessner, about the end of an unhappy relationship. We can presume that she is referring to her ex, the DJ known as Calvin Harris, her previous long-term boyfriend before meeting her current partner, with lyrics like “put on your records and regret me” and “put on your headphones and burn my city.” In the song, Swift is implying that there was some type of infidelity, whether physical or emotional only is not quite clear, but either way she admits, “I bent the truth too far tonight,” and asks, “do I really have to tell you how he brought me back to life?” But she didn’t think it would matter much to him, and is surprised by his sense of betrayal and hurt, but not particularly remorseful. Best lyric: “You know there’s many different ways that you can kill the one you love / the slowest way is never loving them enough.”

18. Glitch Another Antonoff produced track written alongside Sam Dew and Mark Anthony Spears, “Glitch,” is one of the sexier tracks on the album. The concept is that Taylor can’t quite fathom how this love of hers has worked out for 2,190 days (that’s 6 years, if you didn’t know) and counting when all she’s been used to is situation-ships and dudes who give nothing. So if it’s lasted this long, it’s gotta be a glitch in the system, right? Best lyric: “And I’m not even sorry / nights are so starry, blood moonlit.”

19. Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve While “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve” is arguably one of the best tracks on all of Midnights, everything Swift does is for a reason. When you listen to the song, it becomes quite evident why she put it at track 19. “And I damn sure never would’ve danced with the devil at 19,” she sings. As an avid fan, you immediately hear the echoing of the best song on her third album Speak Now, “Dear John,” which has the lyric, “don’t you think 19’s too young to be played by your dark twisted games when I loved you so?” And it becomes clear what she’s discussing: the power dynamic in her relationship when she was 19 with John Mayer, who was 32 at the time (Swift’s current age). One could assume rerecording Speak Now (which Swift has highly hinted at being the next rerelease) brought up some old feelings. “Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve,” is a powerful track filled with intense regret. She describes him as a “promising grown man,” putting a spin on the monicker often given in defense of younger men who abuse women. She likens the relationship to religion: “you’re a crisis of my faith,” “all I used to do was pray,” “gone along with the righteous.” This was a man that she idolized, and the fall from his pedestal crushed her in irreparable ways. “Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first,” she pleads with a heart wrenching ache in her voice. It’s hard to listen to this song without feeling pain for her, especially as she ups the octave for the outro, making the regret feel more urgent, more palpable. Best lyric: “God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be / the tomb won’t close, stained-glass windows in my mind / I regret you all the time.”

20. Dear Reader The 3am edition closing track is “Dear Reader,” a letter to her listeners. She gives advice about avoiding traps, starting over, keeping secrets, and aiming for the devil. But she also gives the caveat, “Never take advice from someone who’s falling apart,” supposedly referring to herself. But the best advice comes from those who have fallen, who have experience, who feel a range of emotions quite like Swift does. That’s why she is so popular; because people can relate to her words and they keep them close to their hearts. “You should find another guiding light,” she suggests. But this sign can’t stop me because I can’t read! Best lyric: “You don’t have to answer just cuz they asked you.”

Target Deluxe Edition

Hits Different The Target Deluxe Edition exclusive song “Hits Different” marks the return of Swift, Dessner, and Antonoff all together. The song feels very vintage Swift, almost like it could’ve been a recent “From The Vault” track. “Hits Different” is about a breakup that is much harder to get over than any other she’s experienced. She hears their song everywhere, she stops receiving invitations because she can’t stop slurring his name when she’s out with friends, she cries over a hat. She’s so far gone in this breakup that she thinks people are coming to take her away. Anyone who has experienced a tough breakup could probably find a lyric in this song to which they can relate. But even without being able to relate, it’s a fun, funny, enjoyable track served as a nice treat for loyal fans who actually go out and buy CDs these days. Best lyric: “I pictured you with other girls, in love / then threw up on the street.”

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In conclusion, 16 years into her career, you best believe Taylor Swift is definitely still bejeweled, and on Midnights she shimmers more than she ever has, even when touching on long-gone relationships and peering into old wounds, being more vulnerable than she has on projects past. Each album and era seems like her peak, yet she continues to outdo herself in multiple ways. With more Taylor’s Versions on the horizon, hopefully Swift will continue to gain inspiration in various ways as a result of revisiting her old work. But if she doesn’t, we know she’s always got some tricks up her sleeve.

DISCLAIMER - REVIEWER’S BIAS: Taylor Swift is the mother I never had, she is the sister everybody would want, she is the friend that everybody deserves. I don’t know a better person.

[poeticandvaguelysweet]

#258 - Paper Rings

I know, I know, I know. I have 400 prompts in my inbox but this little moment wouldn’t leave me today after that new clawen shot was released. Every single time I see that little gold ring on Claire’s hand I have heart palpitations.

title inspired by Taylor Swift.

AO3

PAPER RINGS

It was remarkable what Owen could make out of nothing. She had seen him at work before, in the brief period they had spent together between their first disaster and their second. But this, the three of them living out in a cabin with nothing else to do beyond the odd job. He was good with his hands, he had infinite knowledge of how to make things, in the least, he had the tenacity to try.

He was always fiddling with something; his knife whittling at a piece of wood, his hands teaching Maisie to defend herself, his fingers twisting a piece of wire into art. 

That was how she found him, back hunched as he sat by the fire, nothing but tree tops and stars above his head.

‘Maisie’s asleep.’ Claire announced, lowering her body onto the bench beside his. They’d had an incident, only a week ago, where a herd of ankylosaurs rolled through in the middle of the night, a little too close for comfort. Despite an ever-blooming love for dinosaurs, the encounter had rattled Maisie and she had been struggling to fall asleep since.

‘She alright?’ He asked, tilting his head to look at her. 

Claire shrugged, offering him an unsteady smile before he turned his gaze toward the wire in his hand. ‘We’ll see in a few hours.’ It wasn’t uncommon for the eleven-year-old to climb into their bed rattled with worry. ‘What are you making?’ Claire asked, knowing sometimes the answer was simply nothing. He had a habit of winding things into nothing, fidgeting for the sake of it.

He lifted his gaze to her again, left hand holding up a small gold loop, the wire braided around itself.

Her heart skipped a beat, slight panic flaring at the base of her neck. He wasn’t, was he? ‘Owen,’ she laughed nervously trying to push through the lump in her throat. ‘Did you make me a ring?’

His eyes darted away from hers. ‘Ah, no. I was just—I just, you know.’ He gestured with his other hand the way he just fiddled with whatever he found. ‘It is a ring though, isn’t it?’ He grinned in the light of the fire.

‘It is.’ Claire answered, meeting his eye despite the rising anxiety within her. There hadn’t been time to think when they directed Maisie into the nearest vehicle and shuttled her away. The last few months had been about survival, the future unknown and Claire was only realising now that she hadn’t stopped to take stock of what she wanted from this rekindling of their relationship. ‘I like it.’ It was small, delicate, understated and had come from Owen’s hands. ‘The question is, does it fit?’ Claire extended her right hand, fingers dancing in front of him.

Owen took her hand gently, large fingers holding onto hers as he shakily slid the gold band over her right ring finger. 

Claire could swear she felt a zap of electricity when the handmade ring closed around the flesh of her finger, settling there like it had always belonged.

Her throat was dry, her heart pounding as she lifted her eyes from their hands to his face. They had talked about marriage once, briefly, the two of them awkward and noncommittal about what they wanted in life.

She felt it now. How right this was, Owen was it, the only man she could ever imagine hiding away with, leaving the world they knew behind to protect something more precious than their own lives. When the storm passed and they felt safe enough to leave their little portion of the woods with Maisie, she wanted to marry him. It surprised her how little she cared about the fanfare and the wealth of it all. Claire wanted her sister and the very same ring Owen had fiddled into making by the fire.

‘Perfect fit.’ He beamed at her, lips pulling up in a self-satisfied grin.

Without asking, she knew he wanted it all too. The life together, the ring on the correct finger. 

Claire raised her hand to his face, cupping his cheek before she leaned in and kissed him. Her kiss was gentle at first, thankful, appreciative until Owen slid one hand into her hair, the other tugging at her waist.

‘We should probably take this inside before Maisie wakes up.’ Claire muttered, breath warm against Owen’s cheek as her hand threaded through the hair at the nape of his neck.

Owen dropped his head to her shoulder, arms loosely hanging by her sides. When she was right, she was right. He grumbled, the sound vibrating against her as Claire took a moment to revel in the man. For a moment there, in San Francisco, she almost lost him. There was no one else she would rather be hauled up with in the woods. She wouldn’t be there at all if it wasn’t for him.

Behind them, the rickety board in the deck creaked. ‘Claire?’ Maisie called, ruffled pyjamas and messy hair trembling in the light by the door. ‘Can I just sleep with you?’

‘Oh, sweetheart.’ Claire pulled herself up from Owen’s embrace, her hand on his shoulder keeping her steady. ‘Of course, you can.’ She pulled away from Owen, his hand catching hers as it slid from his shoulder. He held on as long as he could, large fingers wrapped around her palm, his thumb rubbing at the thin gold band now snug around her finger.

One day they were going to have a conversation about that ring when Maisie was settled and the nightmares were kept at bay, when the people who posed a threat had gone and the walls that kept them locked in had completely dissolved. She was going to talk to him about that ring.