#as an october baby i have to be biased and say we are the best

[rcedge]

how would you fantasy book Adam's return? do you think he's going after the tnt title and getting involved with jack/the elite? or will he be involved in the christian/luchasaurus storyline? or something else entirely? i wish we had a better idea of the timeline going forward!

oh this is a really fun question ^_^

umm obviously my ideal endgame is to have him and christian together again but i don't think he'd go straight to working with him when he gets back, adam out of kayfabe (who i will refer to as beth's adam for clarity and because it amuses me to do so) has said a large part about what drew him to aew, aside from jay's being there of course, is the fact that there are so many guys on this roster he's never had a match with. going after the tnt title and the cope open (which i still think should have been called the copen challenge but he clearly doesn't listen to me) was like, the perfect way of getting to go up against a whole bunch of people quickly , so i don't know if beth's adam will want to finish what he started there or not. going after it again could get him more matches with varied people but also i don't know if he'd want to do the same type-plotline twice.

in my ideal world he comes back as a heel, i think beth's adam does his best work as a heel or an otherwise insane violent psychopath. i guess the obvious choice for any feud with the elite would be putting them against a face, but i guess they don't HAVE to do that. i could see our adam going thru the ranks to earn a title shot after world's end with like, single-minded violent obsession, kinda like he was post-e&c and pre-rated r superstar in the mid '00s, which would mirror the very positive-minded hard-working adam going after the tnt title after world's end. but i don't know!!

the other thing is if i hbad to hear more about adam hogan comparisons i'd put my head through a fucking wall, as much as i love to see him with gold. it's my opinion that just because he was winning the cope open matches doesn't mean he wasn't doing business or whatever the fuck, a lot of the guys featured in the cope open were people just coming back from injury (kor) people who usually don't get singles matches (hob) or people who dont really get matches often at all (griff garrison), and i thought all of the matches showcased the abilities of the guys he was up against super well. none of them were squashes and after every match adam went on about how good his opponent was! but i suppose i'm biased, and also a stupid fucking mark, or whatever. this entire paragraph is a bizarre aside. as taz says: but i digress.

it's such a bummer that we'll never know how his title run was supposed to go 😭 this could have been the summer of sexy vampire cope but we were ROBBED because he is KIND OF DUMB. i was SO FUCKING excited to see him have the whole brood shit again and i was really lookign forward to seeing what he was gonna do with that because it was Hot and vampires are Cool. but if my guesstimations are right and he's back in october, which he is clearly doing in honor of my birthday, it would be right around halloween which would be a fun time to launch an espooky gimmick like that. i would really really love it if he had gangrel on more too..........

thank you for the question this was really delightful!! have a baby adam as my thanks

[writingmochi]

….. 🫂

you got delivery

me on my way to…

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZM2W9pacn/

For sure many idols have their own lives behind the camera and i hope many people respects that boundary. i guess when being a fan for a long time you have noticed a few particular things. however, i do believe that there should always be love between fans and the artist. love does not necessarily mean romantic or obsesses but a appreciate for one another.

For sure there is no need to mention any idols name, i just got a confuse. This is quite a heavy topic

However, I do wonder…what would you say if your favorite kpop moment?

- 📸

lissie: I'M WEAK FOR BABY ANIMALS. THE PENGUINS!!

hi cams! welcome back :D

yeah, people should know that love doesn't always mean romantic though. so even if you love your idols, your idols love and appreciate you in a different way knowing your boundaries and such...

i always make topics heavy when it comes to conversations lol maybe it's because of my upbringing...

ooh good question! i have so many kpop-related moments that are my favs. all of them don't really include the idols but if it is the realm, then I'll list it below:

back in 2018, i went to seoul and go to apgujeong-ro to visit the old jyp ent building. my local tour guide was asking "where do we wanna eat?" and offered a restaurant on the same road where her boyfriend works as a head chef. it was actually smt house aka a restaurant made by sm ent aka the restaurant sm uses for their halloween events lol and we eat there for free

in 2019, i watched stray kids live for the first time and am mostly enjoying my time and dancing to get cool when changbin points at me and notices me dancing to the choreo. the way his smile widen alfbajfbka

also in 2019, i bought a hi-touch and photo op ticket for the boyz's concert and it's my turn for the hi-touch, i literally whipped with eric ffs (i was 16 lol). then when it comes to the photo-op, the fans in my group were too busy trying to pose with their biases that when kevin were trying to hype the crowd, most are ignoring him (kevin is one of the least biased members within indonesian deobis back then). so, i'm the only one following his hype chant and kevin literally said "i appreciate you~" (maybe that's why i have a certain connection with "underdogs" out of the members [changbin, kevin, soobin])

back in 2021, i bought a set of txt's minisode1 albums hoping to get into the raffle for an online fan call. i didn't get the fan call, but i now have a physical copy of txt's weverse magazine now on display

in 2022, i watched 3 kpop concerts in 3 months (txt in october, stray kids in november, dpr in december) and my favorite out of them is dpr cause the crowd was so good. i don't like standing in the crowded section so i was in the back and because the concert is like an art show, i can see the props they're using so well (and both live and ian are big-ass flirts)

in 2023, i watched a treasure concert and got the soundcheck ticket (first time with that) and since i'm determined to enjoy the con and only record when it comes to my fav songs, i'm having so much fun in the pit, but also nervous because i was not in the crowd aka i might get notice often and sure, i did lol ;D other than that, me, my best friend, and a few other audience members dance in a summoning circle kind of way that the members notice us lmao still my fav concert so far

[lovingthereign25]

The Chase

Part 12

*May 2020*

Today was your gender reveal, and your husband's birthday. Life in quarantine was different but add a pregnancy to it and it was definitely stressful. So your sister along with help from Roman's sister's planned a socially distanced gender reveal which was great and exciting. You were team boy Roman was team girl which is completely the opposite for you.

"I really think it's a girl Y/n" Trin smiles

" Think that's all y'all make she laughs

"I'm telling you, this pregnancy is completely different than the girls I know it's a boy"

"Well let's light these fireworks off and find out" Roman says

Moments later Jey lights the fireworks off on the panel…..all them lighting up the sky in…... BLUE!

"It's a boy'' Patricia yells

"I'm having a boy" I smile tears filling my eyes

"Another boy…. I'm in trouble" Roman laughs.

*Summerslam 2020*

Tonight Roman was finally making his long awaited come back after taking time off missing Wrestlemania all due to the Coronavirus, doing what was best for your family in his eyes being that you were pregnant, he had just had his own health scare, and you had small children. But tonight his surprise come back. You were now 8 almost 9 months pregnant sitting in the back watching your husband take out the fiend and Braun Strowman. God it was great seeing him in the ring again, he had worked so hard in your home gym , eating healthy and working out more than he already did. You always loved his body but now even more that he was 100 percent comfortable in it. He walked backstage and you immediately wrapped your arms around his neck.

"You looked incredible back in your ring baby" you say kissing him

"Thank you babe, it felt great being back on action" he smiles

After once again everyone congratulating you and Roman on the new baby you head home.

*October 8 2020*

"Push baby come on you got this, you're doing so good baby, our son is almost here!" Roman smiles holding your hand

"One more Y/n" the doctor says

You push your hardest one yet, hearing the sweet sound of your son's cry

"He's here! You did it baby girl we have a son" Roman smiles kissing your head tears in his eyes.

"I wanna see him" you say softly

The nurse hands Roman your son and Roman passes him to you.

"Here you go baby, meet our son" he smiles

He was perfect, and maybe you were slightly biased being that he was your son but he was definitely perfect. He looked just like Roman but he had your eyes

"Hi baby, such a perfect little boy, Momma loves you so much" you coo kissing his little cheek.

"We make some good looking kids huh?" Roman smirks

"We really do...your brothers and sisters are gonna love you Matteo." You smile

"Matteo Gabriel Reigns" Roman repeats the name you both had picked for your son.

"The perfect addition to our little tribe" you joke

" Indeed he is," he smiles.

*Survivor Series 2020*

After watching Roman beat Drew tonight you were completely turned on...to be honest everything Roman did as a heel turned you on. You've been counting down the six weeks since you have given birth to Matteo since the day you left the hospital. Thank goodness it was finally here. You're parents had taken the kids for the night, so that meant as soon as you both for home he was all yours, and you were more than ready for a very long night.

Roman was packing up the car with his bags you come behind him wrapping your arms around him

"I'm so proud of you honey, you are so amazing at what you do" you smile kissing his neck slipping your hand down his sweats

"Thank you baby, christ Y/n what has gotten into you" he groans

"Hopefully you tonight" I whisper lightly biting his ear

"Have a good night you guys, tell the little ones I'll see them soon" you hear Paul say from behind you and Roman you quickly remove your hand waving to Paul.

"Will do " you smile

"Get in the car now" Roman growls

You do as you're told getting into the passenger seat.

Roman begins the drive and you try to keep your mind off the dirty thing you wanna do to him and want him to do to you

"How's your back feeling?" You ask knowing his took a few bad hits

"Fine" he says

" I can give you a massage when we get home if you'd like Daddy" you say

"Y/n, I know exactly what you are doing, and I'm telling you right now, stop, your not completely healed from Matteo and fertile and damn Y/n if you want another baby right back to back then keep it up cause woman I could kiss you and you'd get pregnant" he say

"Ro, it's been over six weeks, and I'm fine with having another baby if you give me one, as long as you destroy me in the process" you say.

"Fuck it's so sexy hearing you talk like that, get in the back I'm pulling over" he says

You climb in the back seat, removing your panties in the process, Roman pulls over shutting the car off locking the doors before joining you on the back seat

"On you belly" he snaps

You do so

Roman takes himself out of his sweats, not giving you warning just thrusting into you

"Fuck" you pant

"Take it….you wanted to be destroyed right?" He asks slapping your ass

"Yea" you whisper

"I can't hear you" he says slapping your ass again

"Yes" you moan

"Yes what? He asks thrusting deeper, hitting the right spot repeatedly.

"Yes Daddy" you moan out feeling your climax getting closer and closer by the second

"That's right baby, good job taking me so well" he praised

"Mmmm….Roman" you moan

“You gonna cum?” He rubs your clit in circles and you feel your stomach begin to tighten.

“Tell me I'm your Tribal chief baby then cum all over my cock" he says.

"Shit... You're my Tribal Chief" you nearly scream.

And you cum. You feel his other hand close around your neck and you let out a whimper as you cum, and his thrusts begin to get sloppy as you feel him cum inside you.

It’s warm, and you can feel some of his cum dripping to the insides of your thighs as he pulls out, and gives the back of your neck one last kiss before pulling out.

" I love you" he smiles

"And I love you" you say kissing him.

[ask-october-fox]

Hello! So happy bro see you back! 2020 has really thrown everybody for a loop! You said to mention a good thing so, here goes! My husband & I never thought we could have kids. Welp, surprise! I am pregnant with a little boy! His original due date was november 10th, but they just moved it to the week of October 18th to the 24th! So October baby!! This time next year he'll be almost one!! I hope this makes you smile! 🎃🦊✨

aaaaaaaaaaaa CONGRATULATIONS!!! Oh thats so wonderful to hear and I am so happy for both you and your husband! You’ll be having a little pup of your own! And hey who knows? Maybe he and I will share a birthday together?? After all, we all know that October is the best birthday month, just saying ;3 (maybe im just a tiny bit biased on that ahaha!) Again congratulations on welcoming a new member of your family 🤍🧡🖤

[lifesbecomings]

The email

Hi Drew— I just wanted to  clarify something and share some perspective. First off, I want to say that I understand and respect Denison’s admissions process. I reached out a few days ago to everyone just curious about the process and wanted to talk about options to continue my education, IF even possible, through Denison! With the positive feedback from everyone and your first email, and then mention, even as a slight possibility, of spring enrollment...one certainly can understand my excitement and push for more discussion and my initiative to get applied/enrolled. With that said I am still curious about steps in general. And maybe I applied as the wrong type of student.  I know there are openings still this spring, and especially in the EDUC classes (like EDUC 390), and thought "wow, maybe this is all aligning because it's meant to be."  If it is or isn't meant to be, I'm at peace with whatever the decision is or remains. But Denison will always be my first choice. I did leave in 2017 as a medical leave student, and technically I wasn't pursuing a degree through CCS, just taking classes, many students take summer classes or semesters (like if on academic suspension), and then come back and return to campus. I know usually students typically return 1-2 years, and I understand there are deadlines and I know their importance. In no way shape or form am I trying to surpass these. When I first reached out, I said I'd be happy to discuss ANY options in a return.  Others, throughout the thread, were mentioning a spring return and spring availability and how fantastic this could be. Both Karen Graves and Baker were on board in the Educ. department, where I am majoring, presumably for a spring enrollment.  Maybe it is the fact I only have art credits as transfers. Was it that they were hoping for more core class transfers? Either way, to be perfectly transparent, whatever the outcome is, I will be taking spring classes. As well as summer classes. I want to get my degree. My first choice is Denison. If there is anyway to make this a possibility still. You already know, It would be my pleasure to stay in touch, and I will happily move to Ohio and take classes back on campus in the fall. Denison holds a special place in my heart. I hope my time on campus impacted those I came into contact with, as much as they impacted me. The Briefing: Within the last 2 weeks. Literally, two weeks, a series of events occurred that made me see the potential I could have. It started with a ski lesson, we had philosophy lessons up the chairlift, and the technical skiing lessons going down the hill. It was eye opening. I realized I need to work on my patience, but It also made me realize that I don't have to do something I do not enjoy. Moreover, it made me recognize I need to stop running from what satisfies me the most, people, education, learning, and teaching. I shut myself off in 2017 to the idea of "traditional schooling". I thought, "It's not for me". " I'm not good at it".  It stuck.  That is, until January 6th 2021, when I had this ski lesson. The ski lesson in combination with my parents friend, a teacher from Brother Rice High School,  got me thinking. I was thinking and analyzing myself. My change in perspective was shocking. I needed to accept my talents and embrace them, instead of shutting them out and rejecting them. It is so funny how we sabotage ourselves.  This is the start of my story. About how I found my drive and fulfillment. Below are three personal stories I would like to share. 1.  Monkey Bars. 

There is a story my mother always would tell me growing up about my perseverance and determination. When I was very young, 4 years old, there was a set of monkey bars on the school playground. After school one day I told my mom I wanted to go across the monkey bars. The only problem...I did not know how to do them. But, I had watched other kids that day at recess. So I was determined to figure it out. We were there for 2-3 hours. I was bound and determined to do those monkey bars. I knew that was what I wanted. I had numerous failed attempts, failure after failure, my mother began to beg me to leave with her because my hands were all beaten up, blistered, and bloodied, I still kept going. I made it all the way across those monkey bars that day, and every day after. There is another story, too, a similar story about me riding a two wheeler. Same determination, different goal. Both accomplished. 

2. My Miracle.

A senior in college, to the modern western world, is still considered "young". If you're in school, attending high school or even attending university, to have a child anywhere, at any time in that mix, It is looked down upon, plain and simple.  I chose to not tell any of my peers, while I was at Denison, my fall semester, that senior year, in 2017. I kept this knowing to myself. I told my parents, and told the father/ fathers parents. Guess what was encouraged? An abortion. Whether verbally spoken (which it was) or unspoken, I knew this is what was wanted from me, wanted for me. I mean, it was, after all, the easiest thing to do. I could still finish my degree and the family could always come later in my life. So, I did just that. I went in for that appointment, at 5 weeks. 

Statistically speaking it is 99% effective. Did you know, 1:4 women will have had an abortion in their lifetime. It's neither here nor there, just an incredible statistic. I actually came back to Denison to finish out my degree after. Putting the past behind me. I enjoyed a fantastic fall break that year in Philadelphia with friends, because through Denison my Junior year, I did a "study abroad," in Philadelphia (the best experience ever. Cannot speak enough about that program! So grateful Denison is a part of the Study in Philly!) 

Anyway, after coming back from break I wasn't myself that week at school. I came home, went to a doctor's appointment. Pregnant. I was 11 weeks pregnant. 1-2 weeks away from being in my second trimester. I knew. In that instant, I was keeping him. No one else understood, at the time, my decision. I was blamed on one side, entirely, for this outcome, the father still lives in denial. This is important information in my story, as it describes where I have been, who I am and who I've become. The father isn't, and has never been involved. This is fine. It's been uncomplicated. I'm actually very lucky. Besides, I know that my son and I deserve someone 100% interested in me AND my son, not an either or situation. So once making my decision, to continue with the pregnancy, I took one day. One day to be broken hearted, to feel like it was me against the world. Later, to my surprise, I found I had a support network bigger than I could ever have imagined.

I am blessed. I am loved. "We" are so loved. But it took me that one day to realize, the easiest thing is not always the right thing. I knew honestly from the day I first found out, I wanted this baby. And my god, has it not only blessed me, but this child of mine blesses and brings joy to anyone and everyone he meets. As a biased mother would say, he truly is something special. My choosing to bring this new life into the world, is an amazing and miraculous testimony to my dedication and character. Being a mother (parent) is one of the toughest jobs in the world. 

3. My Bakery.

First, back story: I tried to take some classes at College for Creative studies in 2018. Knowing I was more than "just a mom". I've done a lot of "soul" searching and self love in my time away. I didn't reach back to Denison at this time because I was convinced traditionally schooling just must not be for me. The root of it, I later would find, was that I was somehow undeserving of it. (super messed up mental ideal). Disclaimer: I, like many, struggled with self worth. Therapy is necessary and beautiful.  Anyway, continuing---I had a hobby of sketching.  Homes and houses always intrigued me, so I picked up some classes at CCS, interior design classes. This is where I realized a hobby does not make for a career. More importantly, I remembered the promise I had made to myself, that I didn't want anyone else raising my baby boy.  I was spending 60hrs + a week on projects and classroom time, leaving him home with my parents and babysitters, a little bit at first, then, more and more. So, I pulled the plug. 

When I give of myself I want to give 100%. If I was giving my school work 100% there was none left for my son. I had to pick between the two, and clearly, without a doubt, my baby boy was the sure pick. Schooling this time round failed because It was in person, he was not in school yet, and it was not practical or logistical. I stopped in OCT of 2019. Between October and December of 2019 I went stir crazy. I was 24/7 with my son, living at my parents home still, and my mental health was on the decline. I felt trapped. I needed a way out. And thus "A Degree Above Bakery" was born. I have made over 5,000 dollars in profits from this business. I have a standing order, weekly, with Westborn Market. However, this flow, and work is at my grace.  I can shut it down, permanently, or temporarily. I can drive it forward more, or scale it back, starting tomorrow.  I was determined to find a way out and give myself some "me" time, as well as doing something I enjoyed that gave me flexible hours to work with my son present. I originally started in my own home. Operating under the cottage food law. That is, until I started to rent space in Plymouth MI from Westborn Market in April 2020.  I bake Sundays currently. 

I created and established then registered my name. I created and bought a web domain.  I have my own labels and packaging I created. Every aspect of my business I have built and created. The brand, the marketing, getting into a grocery store. My point here, being, when I think of something, I do everything in my power to try to reach my goal, whatever the road block. When I get an idea, I see it through. To the best of my ability. __________ My overarching theme is determination. You will have nothing without it. I will be respectful and understanding of any final decisions, acceptance, reinstatement, or lack thereof. If there is still a slimmer of possibility to qualify for spring semester at Denison or be considered again... It would be an honor and mean more to me than any words could begin to describe. I had to take one last shot with you all,  before seeking another institution.  Rules and regulations will be forever. I understand this, but If there is anything I can do to help enhance my application/reinstatement/case/enrollment/scenario please don't hesitate to ask. I would be honored to commit to in person class on the hill in the fall, after taking summer classes, and taking the spring classes online at Denison, I also will be able to pay, in full, for the spring tuition as well as on campus next fall/winter. I also paid in full while being on campus every year from 2013-2016. Please also hear me when I say, yes, obviously I would do whatever and help to see a successful spring enrollment, but I would be happy to transfer credits from this spring (elsewhere), and summer, to complete classes on campus in the fall.  I will stay open minded to all possibilities, as I know Denison does! 

With much respect and appreciation, and excitement,

Sarah McNaughton

[harryandmolly]

Change of Pace - 1 (October 2003 - 16 years ago)

cowritten by @achinglyshawn

summary: Shawn and Maya meet again 10 years after life got in the way of love

warnings: language, NSFW

wc: 17.5k (we back, y’all)

------------

Shawn has had a crush on Maya Lu ever since she was his tour guide for freshman orientation at the University of Toronto. It’s pathetic, really, that he’s stuck on the first pretty upperclassman to give him a smile. But he can’t help it. He’s addicted to the thought of her, addicted to the daydream of being with her, holding her hand, feeling her lips pressed to his, hearing her dreams late at night when she can’t sleep and needs to talk.

He doesn’t even know her. Not really. Their friendship is mainly confined to MySpace and the occasional nod if he’s lucky enough to pass her on campus. So yeah, it’s pathetic. He’s fucking pathetic.

He decides goes to her art show.

To be fair, it’s not just her show. He’s got a hand full of actual friends presenting their work, so it’s not like he’s a stalker. He’s just lucky. He’ll have an excuse to exchange more than a passing ‘Hi!’

He knows her work will be good because she’s always posting photos of her in progress pieces on Facebook and he loves them. Maybe he’s biased, but he’s always had a fairly artistic eye so he thinks his impression of her talent is pretty accurate.

“You look hot,” Ash comments from his bed as he rolls the sleeves of his crisply ironed button down above his elbows. “Almost hot enough for Maya.”

Shawn rolls his eyes at his best friend in the mirror. He sighs, “I need to look nice. It’s an art show. There’s gonna be hors d’oeurves and fancy cocktails.”

“And Maya.”

“And our other friends,” he grouses, turning to face Ash instead of the mirror. “I’m not going for Maya.”

Ash giggles and falls back onto the bed, holding her sidekick in the air as she starts texting. “Whatever you say, Mendes. Either way, you look hot and she’ll definitely notice you.”

He’s glad she’s too busy clicking at her phone to see the tips of his ears go red.

+

Shawn’s been in the art building before, but it feels like a whole new world at night, the lobby adorned with twinkle lights and cloth-covered tables topped by sprawling bouquets for people to gather around as they discuss the art and munch on canapes.

He’s early, too early maybe, because the crowd is extremely thin and he feels completely exposed. Mostly, the only people here right now are the artists. He’s on high alert for Maya, but he forces himself not to look for her. You don’t really know her, he reminds himself, and instead scans the room for one of his actual friends.

He spots Parker in the corner standing proudly in front of her life size unicorn sculpture, and Shawn makes a beeline for her.

“Is she for sale? I’ve been looking for something to ride to class,” he opens with, grinning down at his friend.

“He is absolutely not for sale. He’s not chattel,” she chides with a smirk, popping up onto her toes to wrap her arms around his neck. He pulls her close, lets himself find comfort in her familiarity for a moment before they separate.

“I would say thanks for coming,” Parker starts as she drops down onto her heels, “but I know you’re only here for Maya Lu.”  

Jesus Christ. Is he really that transparent?

“You’re like, really obvious, baby,” she coos, as if reading his mind. Or maybe she just noticed the flash of panic across his face.

“I’m here for everyone,” he says, trying to ignore fluttering in his gut.

“Her pieces are right over there,” Parker says with a nod towards the wall just behind him, and the hair at the nape of his neck stands on end.

“And you’re right here,” he says, fighting the urge to turn around.

Parker laughs, shakes her head and grabs his hand, lacing their fingers together.

“C’mon, dude. You’ll never get anywhere if you’re scared to even look at her. Let’s go over there together.”

“Parker--”

“Shawn.”

“I’m not-- I was just gonna say hi later, you know, like--”

“Then why not say hi now, with me?”

Shawn opens his mouth. Closes it. Furrows his brows then rolls his eyes. Sighs.

“Fine, fuck. Let’s just-- do I look okay?”

“Hideous.”

“Oh, good. Perfect.”

Parker giggles, tugs his hand and heads for Maya. “C’mon, Mendes, she doesn’t bite. Well, maybe she does. You’ll have to find that out yourself.”

Shawn can’t argue, just flush bright red and stumble after her, his fingers curling into the back of her hand.

Maya stands with her hands on her hips overlooking her paintings on the wall. They’re clustered together in bunches -- the canvases tell different stories individually but when she groups them together like this they look like one painting split up between different canvases. That’s how she’s designed it.

But as she stands here studying them, she finds a million and one things she’d change. She sighs and taps her clunky heel against the ground, shaking her head.

She turns to Sasha, who’s eyeing the passed hors d'oeuvres like they’re a lover. She nudges her.

“This sucks, doesn’t it?”

“Shut up, Maya.”

“No. No I won’t shut up because I suck and I can’t believe you never bothered to tell me.”

Sasha groans a belabored sigh. “God, please, let’s not do this again. We barely made it out of the spring show alive last year.”

He sees Maya before he sees any of her art. Her back is facing the room as she looks up at one of her pieces, and he wonders if she’s happy with the way it turned out. His gaze flicks up to it, but he’s too distracted by his heart pounding in his throat to really process what it looks like.

“Maya!” Parker squeals as they draw closer, “I love all of your pieces so much!”

Shawn fights the overwhelming urge to run away as Maya turns around.  

Maya opens her mouth to argue when she hears Parker refute her before she can say anything. Sasha looks delighted. She elbows her before she can speak up.

“Thank you, Parker. I hate it. But what else is new?”

Parker brought a friend. Not just any friend. Parker brought the Cute Freshman (capitalized because that’s his formal title in Maya’s friend group). Maya feels a little better now. She likes having someone to flirt with at these things, especially when they look at her like that, like she made every piece of art in here and all of it is genius.

“Hi,” she says, tilting her head at him a little dangerously.

Maya Lu speaks to him. Parker doesn’t even have to make introductions.

He thinks he’s gonna die, right here, right now.

Oh god, Cute Freshman is so fucking cute.

He got the nickname by being tall and built and strong-jawed with the best head of hair she’s ever seen on anyone, but he kept the name by being completely adorable.

She loves running into him. He’s always good for a blushing smile or that little flappy wave he does with his big bear paw. Sometimes, when she’s really lucky, he’ll duck his head at her and look up through his eyelashes. He doesn’t even mean to, she can tell. It’s a natural response to being around her.

She loves it.

He sucks in a breath. “Hi,” he says with a crooked smile, then glances at her work hanging on the walls. He realizes, as he looks up at her pieces, that while each work can stand alone, they all fit together to create something truly fucking spectacular. He’s impressed. He knew she was good from Facebook, but this is something else.

“Parker’s right, this is— like, totally incredible.”

He seems to genuinely like what he sees (on the wall, that is), or he’s a really good liar. But she doubts it. He seems too wholesome to lie to her about this.

She glances over her shoulder and shrugs, “Thanks. It’s… it’s fine.”

Sasha snorts into a glass of champagne and shakes her head. Maya chuckles and wrinkles her nose.

He looks back at her, and trains his gaze on her forehead instead of scanning the length of her body, despite his baser urge to do just that.

“I’m Shawn,” he manages, sticking his hand out like someone’s dad or something.

He feels a flush spread from the tips of his ears down the back of his neck, but he doesn’t waver. He made his choice. Handshake it is.

He wants a handshake. Oh god, so cute.

Maya reaches out proudly and shakes his hand. “Hi, Shawn. I’m Maya. Thank you for coming tonight. Which artist is your favorite so far?”

Maybe she’s fishing for a compliment. She worked hard on these and has a sinking feeling in her gut about them. Maybe a compliment from an earnest, beautiful boy is what she needs right now.

Shawn has to pretend that the weight of her small hand doesn’t drive him absolutely insane. Her shake is confident, firm, and he loves that. He wants her to hold his hand like this forever. She doesn’t, obviously. But she does put him on the spot, and his cheeks feel warm as his heart stutters.

She probably shouldn’t get quite so much pleasure out of inflicting this awkwardness, especially since he already clearly has no idea how to act around her, but she can’t help it. She likes watching him squirm. She wonders how else she could make him squirm.

“Oh, um—“ he looks around the gallery. He hasn’t really checked out the other artists’ work, except for Parker’s unicorn. It’s cute and all, but not very personal, and he decides he can’t lie. He looks back down at her, pressing his lips together.

She watches his eyes shift around the room, scanning for something. He looks back at her and suddenly she regrets asking him. She doesn’t want his answer. She thinks maybe now he’s going to make her squirm.

“Well. You,” he finally says with a careful shrug of his shoulder.

And then he realizes what he’s just said, and what it sounds like.

“And I mean, I’m not— that’s not a line or anything. I promise,” he’s quick to amend, “I just really like this. It’s— well, I like how it’s beautiful but painful at the same time. And it feels really, like, honest, you know? Like maybe you’re trying to tell people something you’re not used to being open about. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just bullshitting.”

He laughs at himself, pushing his fingers into the curls at the nape of his neck and tugging, his gaze dropping to her purple-painted toes.

Maya stares at his lips as they move and spill beautiful truths about her work. She clasps her hands behind her back and hopes her eyes don’t fall right out of her head. He looks so sincere.

She licks her lips and releases a breath all at once. “Well,” she coughs, “Ok then. I think I’ll keep you.”

She reaches out for his arm and tugs him forward while Parker and Sasha exchange a look. Maya curls her arm around his and starts leading him around the gallery slowly.

Apparently, he’s said the right thing. His chest puffs slightly, unconsciously. He likes her praise. He wants more.

She curls herself around his arm, tucks herself into his side like she belongs there and he swears he can’t breathe. He’s barely able to walk with her, but he manages it without tripping, thank God.

Maya likes the way he feels against her. He’s firm and tall and warm and he smells really nice. She hasn’t been this close to a guy without fucking him in a while. It feels… good.

“What made you want to come tonight?”

You. You, you, you.

It’s the honest answer he won’t admit to his friends and barely wants to admit to himself. It almost rolls right off his tongue for her, though.

He manages to stop himself. She’s clearly taken a liking to him, and he doesn’t want to fuck that up by sounding like a huge creep.

He glances at her. “Got a few friends in your program, and some of them managed to be impressive enough as frosh to get put in the show.”

He hopes that’s enough for her. That’s all he is, an incredibly supportive friend.

He uses the term ‘frosh’ which she decides to forgive him for because, well, he is one. And as much as she likes watching him wriggle awkwardly, she doesn’t want to bully him. Instead she nods intently.

“We have a great new crop this year,” she comments, glancing around the gallery. As insecure as she is about this particular installation, she is proud to see how many of her fellow art students have risen to the challenge.

She thinks it’s nice that he came here for his friends. She doesn’t have a lot of non-art program friends that would do that for her. Especially not the straight male kind.

“What, um, what got you into art? Or well, painting, I guess.”

He stumbles through asking her a personal question and it’s all she can do not to plant her lips on his cheek and giggle.

“I’ve been drawing since I could hold things. Painting came later, in high school. I had this one really amazing art teacher who just kept putting things in my hands and making me try things. It felt like a safe space where I wasn’t afraid to fail. That’s hard to find anywhere, especially in high school. She got me into sculpture, too, and some photography. But painting is… I dunno. It feels like the best part of me.”

She blinks. That was… startlingly honest. That wasn’t what she planned to tell him when he asked. It just… happened.

He doesn’t expect her to get carried away. He expects a perfunctory answer, like the kind he gives when people ask him about music and he’s tired of explaining himself.

Maya, however, is shockingly honest. He doesn’t say anything because he wants her to keep talking, keep sharing little bits of herself that maybe she doesn’t share with everyone. He’s selfish, but he wants it.

He wants her.

He pushes the thought away.

He doesn’t flinch or balk at her slight overshare, instead he seems to be leaning closer to her, like he wants more.

Interesting.

“That’s— Yeah, that’s really awesome. Sounds like me and music,” he offers, looking down at her.

He’s a musician. Of course he is. Maya figures you’re not even allowed to be as good looking as he is and not also be a model or an actor or a musician, something that gets you famous one day. So, musician? Yeah, that tracks.

Shawn notices a loose strand of hair caught against her cheekbone, while the rest of her tendrils are tucked neatly behind her ear. He stops without thinking, lifts his fingers to carefully brush the stray strand away from her face, tucking it back with the rest of her hair.

Before she can start to dive into it, finding she also wants to know more about him, he brushes his fingertips across her cheek and stares at her with the most beautiful focus. She goes absolutely silent. She doesn’t realize she’s holding her breath.

He drops his hand like he’s just touched fire, and he feels as though he might burst into flames.

“Sorry, shit. I should’ve asked first but— you had a fly away. Sorry.”

“That’s— that’s ok. I’m… I mean, it’s nice to have someone looking out for the hair,” she jokes, realizing he’s thrown her off her game. She swallows roughly and regroups.

She doesn’t look too upset he touched her without permission. Maybe a little startled, but not upset. He counts it as a win.

“What kind of music do you play? Or write?”

“Oh. Well, I guess my official genre would be indie or alternative. Like any other douchey white dude my age,” he laughs. Truth is, he doesn’t really feel like he has a genre. He just loves music. He’ll play anything, though there are definitely certain songs he’s more suited for than others.

She chokes out a surprised laugh at his “douchey white dude” comment. That sounds like the kind of thing she would’ve said in a snarky voice in her head. She’s glad he beat her to it.

She listens as they make their slow circuit. Maya’s already checked out the rest of the show. Actually, the program’s pretty small so she’s seen most of this work while it was in progress. She just doesn’t want to be staring at him the whole time he talks just because he’s pretty.

He wets his lips, continues, “But I’m all over the place, really. I’ll play anything my vocal chords can wrap around.”

She does look over while he’s wetting his lips and has to stop herself from making a strangled moaning noise.

He wants to know her favorite song, wants to learn it if he doesn’t already know it, and play it for her when they’re alone together. It’s an intoxicating fantasy.

He really wants it, like he does her.

“What sort of music do you listen to?” He asks in lieu of something creepy, like if she wants to come to his dorm for a private concert.

“I… oh, I like a lot of different stuff. I like some indie, some pop. Mostly… mostly I like cheesy 70s and 80s music. I was raised by hippies. “Hotel California” by The Eagles is like the equivalent of the Our Father in my family,” she confesses.

He wishes he had his guitar so badly right now. He knows Hotel California like the back of his hand. It’s one of his mum’s favorites. He’s guessing their parents are close in age, because he was raised on the 70s and 80s, too.

He smiles. He wants to impress her so fucking badly. She’s impressive herself. He just wants to  be worthy of all the time she’s already wasted on him.

Maya tries not to look too closely at his fingers but one glance and it’s too late. They’re thick and strong and somehow elegant and nimble all at once. She feels a little light headed and definitely can’t blame it on the champagne she only had a few sips of.

“Great fucking song,” he rasps as they stop in front of a couple of paintings that her own put to shame. “I could play it for you some time. You know, if you’re into douchebags with acoustic guitars.”

Self-deprecation is one of the best ways to charm people, he’s found. He knows he’s talented --good with his fingers on the strings and good at carrying a melody-- so admitting his faults where he sees them makes people tolerate him a bit more than the guys who act like they’re  God’s gift to music.

Shawn knows he’s not God’s gift to anything. He’s just a kid with a guitar and a decent falsetto.

She shouldn’t swoon at his admission that he also loves “Hotel California” because a lot of guys do and that doesn’t make them cool or worth her time. But… that song is special. Imagining Shawn playing it has her chest bubbling with anticipation.

She licks her lips and sighs, deciding to fall into it. Why the fuck not?

“I dunno about douchebags with acoustic guitars, but I’m starting to think I might be kinda into you.”

She smirks at her own line and lifts her eyes to his.

“Oh,” he coughs, eyebrows lifting. He didn’t expect her to say anything like that.

I might be kinda into you.

What does that mean? He’s not sure. Is she flirting with him? She sounds like she’s flirting, and she’s looking at him like she’s flirting, gazing up at him from under her lashes. His heart thrashes in his ribcage, makes him feel like he might spontaneously combust because never in a million years did he think that he would come here tonight and end up with Maya Lu curled into his side and looking at him like maybe she does want him to invite her to his dorm.

“You, ah, you’ll regret saying that when you decide you hate my Glenn Frey impression,” he says, because it’s safer than anything else bouncing around in his head.

Safer than, good, because I’m really into you. Safer than, let me show you how badly you fuck me up. Safer than, can I kiss you?

It’s the last one that he’s really afraid of blurting.

Carefully, he unwinds his arm from hers and takes a step back so he’s facing her straight on.

He goes all pink and squeaky after her not so subtle comment. She can’t stop grinning. She does, though, when he untangles from her and she wonders for a bleak moment if he’s about to bail out of fear or something. But then he does this golden retriever head tilt thing and asks her a question.

He slides his hands into his pockets and tilts his head. “How long do you have to be here?”

Maya stays cool, pursing her lips and glancing around the gallery. “I probably need to stay for fifteen more minutes before I can safely ditch. What did you have in mind?”

He has to speak through heart palpitations. She seems genuinely interested in bailing on this big deal gallery thing to hang out with him. A nobody freshman, who’s definitely not as cool as some of those senior photography guys. He wonders why she’s not planning to ditch with one of them, instead.

He won’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

“Nothing fancy,” he muses, lifting his shoulder in a small shrug. “We could grab burgers or something. And then I was thinking that maybe I could get you to sing Hotel California for me if I played the accompaniment.”

He gives her a grin he knows girls love. He’s got a fifteen year old little sister whose friends adore this smile, who look at him like he lit the fucking sun whenever he flashes it. He’s not sure if it’s gonna work on a girl who’s not actually a teenager anymore, but it’s worth a shot.

Maya likes watching the cogs of his brain turn as he comes up with a suitable date idea on the fly. He does well suggesting a burger. It’s casual and filling and happens to be one of Maya’s favorite things.

The singing suggestion makes her laugh for two reasons, one because he would need to get her very drunk if he wanted to hear her sing, and two because it’s a clear suggestion he wants to bring her to his dorm.

She looks him up and down, nothing subtle about it. He’s gorgeous, every wholesome Canadian inch of him. She wonders if maybe he’s got a not so wholesome side.

She lands on his smile and almost goes weak at the knees. She giggles a little foolishly and nods.

“You’ve got yourself a deal. Keep yourself busy for 15 while I make the rounds.”

He makes her laugh, so he thinks maybe he’s not so bad at this flirting-with-an-upperclassman thing. Or at pulling date ideas out of his ass.

He smiles, gives her a salute, “Sir, yes, sir.”

He ducks away before she can see the royal red blush that stains his cheeks. He goes from charmingly cool to incredibly stupid so fast, he might have given himself whiplash.

He just hopes Maya doesn’t change her mind. Maybe she’ll think he’s like, adorable or something. A-dork-able, as his kid sister would say.

He pretends to busy himself by looking at the rest of the art, but in truth, he’s watching her. He sneaks glances whenever she’s distracted by a friend or a professor, watches her talk with her hands and laugh with her head tilted to the side. She doesn’t smile at anyone like she did at him, though. Or at least he thinks. Maybe he’s making it up, but it’s a nice thought.

He winds up at the little minibar near the exit and sips on a coke. Parker sidles up to him when he’s watching Maya talk with who he thinks is a sculpting professor.

“You look like a stalker.”

He looks down at Parker, frowns. “No, I don’t. I’m drinking my pop.”

Parker giggles, orders white wine from the bartender. “Okay,” she says when she gets her drink, “then what are you doing? You two looked cozy for a while.”

“We’re gonna get burgers.”

“No shit?”

“No shit. She told me to wait for her.”

“Baby!” Parker squeals a little too loudly, and he winces. She hiccups a laugh and lowers her voice. “Baby, I knew she would dig you. Ash did too.”

“All right, all right. Just-- chill. You’re gonna jinx it.”

He’s not superstitious but he wants to be careful. He wants to really go somewhere with Maya Lu, and not just to the bedroom.

“Okay, okay, sheesh. I’m just saying. You’re a catch, kiddo.”

With a wink, Parker leaves his side, and he’s back to watching Maya charm everyone who looks her way.

Maya can feel his eyes on her. It’s not uncomfortable. She would think it would be, but it’s not. It’s kind of sweet, actually. He makes her feel so… desired.

She bounces around between cliques of art kids and says hi to professors, but her mind is elsewhere. It’s on the rest of her night as she wonders where it might take her with him.

At one point, she takes a glance over shoulder and sees him wide-eyed and embarrassed talking to Parker and she swears she’s never wanted to kiss someone so badly.

Plus, he’s been looking at her all night like she’s out of his league, so he’s likely to want to impress her. She lets the possibilities of that distract her until the fifteen minutes are up and she strolls across the room to fetch him, tugging at his arm and biting her lip.

He pretends to be distracted when she makes her way towards him, just so she doesn’t think he was being impatient or anything. Truth is, he would’ve gladly stood around watching her all night, if that’s what she wanted.

He feels a tug on his arm and he can’t stop the smile that pulls at his lips.

“You ready to blow this popsicle stand?”

“If there are popsicles here, I want one before we leave,” he says without thinking, looking around the gallery as if actually in search of an icy treat. But then he remembers she doesn’t know him, isn’t used to his bullshit, so he gives her a wide, crooked smile he hopes indicates he doesn’t actually think there are any popsicles here.

He just wants to make her laugh again. It’s such a pretty laugh.

He’s definitely a doofus. She kinda loves it. Boys aren’t usually so dorky around her, or around any girls she knows. But Shawn is genuine, every bit of him. It makes her smile.

“Next gallery show I will make sure we have popsicles,” she chuckles, leaning into his touch a little.

He bites his lip and reaches carefully for the small of her back, tipping his head towards the door. “Let’s go, Picasso.”

Maya rolls her eyes, but doesn’t correct him. Instead, they head for the door.

The night is frigid, because it’s Toronto. She leans into him further as they begin to trudge to the burger place that’s just off campus.

The crisp sting of cold air has her tucking herself closer to his side, though he likes to think that maybe she just wants to be close to him. He should be so lucky.

“So where are you from?”

“Oh, uh, just Pickering. Like thirty minutes from here,” he says as he pulls his jacket off and holds it out for her.

“Cold?” he asks with a tilt of his head, but doesn’t wait for her to answer before he drapes the jacket around her shoulders, making sure to pull up the collar to protect her neck, too. It’s a moment that feels like it belongs in a movie, but he loves it. He loves the way his jacket practically swallows her whole, and he wonders if she’ll end up wearing it long enough for her scent to linger on the leather after she’s gone.

She wasn’t really angling to get his jacket but she’s not going to turn it down. He doesn’t really give her a choice, dropping it around her shoulders and tucking it up against her neck. It’s silly, really, because it’s fucking cold out and he’s going to get cold too. But… it’s so warm. And it smells like him. He smells nice.

Once he’s settled the jacket around her, she curls up against him again under the guise of keeping him warm if she can.

He clears his throat, looks back to the sidewalk ahead of them as he slips his hands in his pockets. He hums. “What about you? You don’t sound very Canadian, if you don’t mind me saying. I haven’t heard you apologize once tonight.”

She chuckles at his comment. “No, I’m from Toronto, actually. Allenby. But my parents are both American so I’m not as Canadian as I could be, eh?”

She’s so fucking cute. He could spend all day listening to her put on a fake Canadian accent. He could spend all day listening to her do anything. He could spend all day doing anything, as long as he got to be near her.

She winks up at him as they’re walking into the burger place. She stares up at the menu and pretends to deliberate even though she knows exactly what she wants -- double cheeseburger with everything on it, including jalapenos, plus a fried egg. Extra crispy fries. Maya doesn’t even consider changing it for the sake of looking dainty on a date. There’s no point in hiding her voracious appetite, she figures. It would come out eventually.

The wink she gives him nearly makes him trip over his own feet. He catches himself but stalls a bit, just staring at the back of her head while she examines the menu above them. He wants to wrap himself around her from behind and tuck his chin on top of her head, but that’s-- it’s just a pipe dream at this point. They’re not together, and this is barely a date. He can’t press into her like he’s already hers.

Instead, he stands behind her, close enough to feel the warmth of her body but with space between them. He glances at the menu for a moment, but he already knows what he’s getting.

Carefully, he cups one of her elbows to get her attention. His brow furrows as he looks down at her. “Know what you want? I’ll order for us.”

Maya hums, bobbing her head. “Double cheeseburger with lettuce, tomato, ketchup, grilled onions, special sauce, jalapenos and a fried egg. Extra crispy fries.”

She turns on her heel to smirk up at him. “Can you handle that, cowboy?”

Looking up at him like this, standing here in her favorite burger joint with him in his nice shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, with his spicy-minty leather jacket around her shoulders, she’s never felt more like a character in a teen movie. And she doesn’t hate it.

She wants to kiss him so bad.

He wants to kiss her so bad.

She’s looking up at him with a smirk on her lips and a glint in her eye. It’s take more willpower than it should for him to not press her into a wall and find a way to turn that little smirk into a gasp, right in the middle of the restaurant.

“You know, I don’t think there are any cowboys in Canada,” he teases with a gentle squeeze to her elbow, then leans down to purr in her ear, “But I can handle whatever you want, honey.”

He brushes past her then, letting his hand graze against the small of her back as he approaches the register to place their order.

Right there in Sammy’s, he’s got her.

She’s floored. He murmurs against her skin and she can feel the tickle of his warm breath turn her entire body to goosebumps. She snaps her jaw shut to keep from potentially moaning because, Jesus, she was not expecting that.

He decides to go the same route she does, double cheeseburger with everything plus onions and an egg, but he does mayo instead of ketchup and bacon instead of jalapenos. And he orders a chocolate malt with two straws, like the cheesy bastard he is. He’s never had a lady and the tramp moment, but he’s thinking maybe now’s his shot.

“C’mon,” he says when he turns back to her, curling his fingers around hers, “the corner booth is free.”

She doesn’t even hear him order, just watches him slide past her to go to the counter. She stares at his ass for as long as it takes to complete the order. When he turns back and takes her hand, she’s still a little dumbstruck.

Who knew he had it in him?

What else does he have in him?

They slide into a booth across from each other. Maya crosses her legs and leaves her foot resting against his calf with a smile.

“This is one of my happy places on campus,” she tells him, brushing her foot against his leg a little, testing the waters.

It’s a game now. She started with a jab, and he hit back. Now, she’s trying to fucking kill him. Her foot grazes the length of his calf and if he were two years younger, he’d be hard for her already. As it is, he has to tug on one of his pant legs under the table. Just in case.

He slides his leg forward until their knees are pressed together, but he plays it like he has no clue. He settles his forearms on the table and leans forward slightly, tilting his head.

Maya isn’t into games with guys, generally. She never likes feeling like she has to play with a version of herself to get somewhere with someone. But this kind of game? Yeah, this is fun. She sweeps her tongue over her front teeth as his knee settles against hers.

“I like the trivia nights,” he admits, even though his friends think it’s super dorky of him. Maybe Maya will think it’s cute or charming or something. Trivia is fun. He’s fun. He wants to get a chance to show her that.

“And, you know,” he continues, “the giant milkshakes.”

He smiles at her and decides he’d really like to hold her hand, would like to reach across the table and slip their fingers together so they’re connected in as many places as is appropriate in public. His fingers twitch against the table, but he doesn’t move.

It’s not his turn, anyway.

“I’m really good at trivia,” she comments, tilting her head the same way he is.

“Bet you’re smarter than me,” he notes with a wink.

Maya eyes the waitress as she brings over one of the giant milkshakes he mentions. She smiles. She loves milkshakes.

The waitress sets it down. Maya leans forward to draw one of the straws into her mouth. In doing so, the v-neck of her dress tugs down and Shawn gets a peek at what���s beneath. She blinks up at him as she sucks and backs away slowly, swallowing.

“You got my favorite flavor.”

She makes it really, really hard for him to not kiss her. Her smile draws him in, in a way he couldn’t have imagined before tonight. What was once a crush has turned into heavy infatuation that makes butterflies swirl in his gut.

He tries so fucking hard not to watch the collar of her dress slip down her chest. He wants to see her, wants to see everything, but he doesn’t want it like this, sneaking a peek from across the table like a peeping Tom.

He watches her lips around her straw instead, and it’s almost as intimate as looking at her body.

“Chocolate’s a given when it comes to milkshakes,” he murmurs with a smile, reaching for the second straw and taking a sip of his own, looking up at her from under his lashes as he does.

He’s got such long, pretty eyelashes. They lay against his cheeks beautifully. It’s always unfair when boys have such nice eyelashes, but Maya appreciates his.

She sits back and crosses her legs again between his knees. It’s casually intimate, not in a first date way, but in an ‘I’ve known and loved you for years’ way.

It doesn’t feel wrong.

He pulls back from the shake only to let the waitress place their burgers in front of them. He plucks a fry and dips it in the shake.

“And,” he says as he lets the excess ice cream drip from the end of the potato, “chocolate also goes the best with fries.”

She grins down at her burger and sighs. “I personally like coffee shakes the best with fries but people think I’m a freak for that.”

She dips a fry and crunches into it, looking over to see what he got — it’s almost identical to her burger. Her heart flutters.

His brows raise. Coffee. He’s never even thought to try that in shake form, to be honest. She’s definitely smarter than he is. He laughs.

“Yeah, you are a freak. But you’re also a complete genius. Next time, we’ll get coffee.”

He already has a mouthful of fries when he realizes what he’s said. Next time. As if she’s automatically going to want to see him again. He should be so lucky.

Then again, her long, crossed legs are tucked tightly between his thighs, and it’s not even like, some kind of foreplay.

It’s more like, Hi. I just wanted to be as close to you as I could get.

So maybe there is hope for a next time.

He calls her a genius and she giggles around her enormous bite of food. She almost doesn’t even pick up on his ‘next time’ slip. But he flinches a little when he realizes it.

She swallows and dips another fry, shrugging. “Yeah, we could do that next time. Or we could try that new sushi place off Seven Oaks.”

She wiggles her nose to keep from grinning at him like a goof because she’s taken two bites of this burger and definitely wants a second date.

The butterflies in his stomach go mad, and he’s so not hungry at all anymore. He can’t just not eat, though. It’s rude and also would probably be really weird and she’d ask him what’s wrong and he’d have to say, ‘Absolutely nothing, I just think I’m already falling in love with you.’

So he takes a bite of his burger.

They continue chatting and eating and she gets more comfortable with him with every bite. He’s sweet and funny but not in that annoying way when boys know they’re funny and work it too hard. He’s naturally likeable. She likes spending time with him. And he has great taste in burgers, so.

He doesn’t know what to do about the fact that she’s acting like his girlfriend, beside totally freak out. It’s too good to be true. The girl he’s been crushing on since orientation seems to actually dig him, and not just in that one night stand sex way.

Why waste time on a burger if you just want to fuck?

It’s not just the burger. It’s in the way she laughs at his jokes and the way she looks him dead in the eye, like they’ve been staring at each other for years. It’s in the way she says his name like he’s already her best friend.

It’s completely surreal.

They stand to leave and she takes his hand again because it feels natural. Once they’re outside, she tucks their entwined hands into a pocket of his jacket she’s still wearing.

“Where to?” she asks with a twinkle in her eye.

He pretends to think of where they should go, but he really just wants to be alone with her. He’s just not quite sure how to ask her back to his dorm in a non-pervy way.

His thumb traces her knuckles as he bites his lip and looks down at her. He turns to face her, brings his free hand to her hair and tucks the few strands that have fallen loose behind her ear.

“I just like talking to you,” he says with a shrug. “So anywhere we can keep doing that?”

Shawn is tender with her, she’s noticed. She didn’t think from the way he acted that he was only trying to get in her pants at any point since they’ve known each other, but now she’s very sure that’s not it for him. Especially as he holds her hand like this, like he’s not sure she’ll ever let him touch her again.

She wants to assure him she will.

The final moment, the one that seals the deal for her, is when he doesn’t immediately suggest his dorm because he’s clearly worried it would be an overstep. Truth is though, that’s where she wants to be with him.

She holds her breath as he tucks some hair behind her ear. She releases it in a slow exhale and squeezes his fingers in her pocket.

“Can we go to your place, please?”

His chest relaxes and his heart follows, though only slightly. He’s not sure his heart rate will ever be normal around her.

He wets his lips as he looks down at her, ready to nod when something stops him. He presses his thumb to the back of her hand and tilts his head, his tongue darting out to glide across his lower lip.

Maya expects him to whisk her off to his dorm quickly before she can think about changing her mind, but he doesn’t. He stands firm and stares at her like a puppy with his head cocked.

“Can I kiss you first? Please.”

He’s so polite about it. It’s very Canadian. And, she thinks, very Shawn.

“Yes you may.”

Thank God.

His lips twitch with a hint of a smile before he presses them together, nodding. “That’s great, it’s--”

He cuts himself off with a shake of his head and brings his hands to her neck, cupping her carefully as he brushes his thumbs along her jaw until they meet at her chin. Tilting her head back, he ducks down and gently presses his lips to hers.

Oh god, he’s perfect.

It’s the first conscious thought that runs through her head after the brain scramble of feeling his lips on hers.

It’s a great kiss. It’s truly good in every way -- his hands aren’t grabby, his lips are so soft, he’s gentle without being too careful.

She lifts her hands to rest on his forearms and tilts her head to kiss him back, stepping just a bit closer to him.

Maya leans into him in a way he couldn’t have predicted. She melts, and he takes the opportunity to kiss her deeper, one hand dropping from her neck so he can wrap his arm around her waist and pull her until she’s flush against him.

It’s a few hot seconds before they pull apart. She gasps a little unconsciously and hums under her breath.

He stops kissing her only because he needs to breathe. He takes a breath, eyes still closed, and drops his forehead gently against hers.

“Mm, um,” he chokes out a breathless laugh, “Thanks. Thank you.”

She makes him an idiot.

He thanks her for kissing him. Like, actually thanks her. It’s the best thing she’s ever heard.

“You’re welcome,” she replies breathlessly, nodding at him as she starts to chuckle.

After a moment, he pulls away from her, untangling their bodies except from where they’re joined hand in hand.

“My dorm’s this way. It’s Chestnut, not too far,” he says, pulling her along through the chilly night that’s doing absolutely nothing to calm the heat radiating throughout his entire body.

Maya hustles along beside him until they reach Chestnut. She bites her tongue against mentioning she’s been here before -- freshman year she was hooking up with a guy that lived on the third floor. But that’s not important now.

They make their way up the elevators and down the hallway to Shawn’s room.

He got pretty lucky, dorm-wise. It’s a suite style room, with two singles attached to a common area with a kitchenette. Besides that, his roommate, Brian, spends most of his time at his sophomore girlfriend’s off-campus apartment. So really, Shawn gets the whole suite to himself more often than not.

He knows Brian is gone tonight, so he doesn’t have to send him a ‘GET OUT’ text as he and Maya ride the elevator.

He extracts himself from Maya’s side only to unlock the door and push it open for her. He doesn’t worry about running in first and cleaning shit up, because he’s a pretty clean guy as it is. Plus, he has plenty of female friends and he knows they think boys are pretty gross, so. He tries his best to be the exception to that rule. His mum taught him well enough, anyway.

“After you,” he says with a slight smile pulling at the corner of his lips. “Just, you know, make yourself at home.”

Shawn’s room is one of the cleaner boy’s dorms she’s ever been in. That bodes well, she thinks. She glances around with her hands clasped behind her back and realizes all of a sudden she’s nervous.

Not bad nervous, not run away nervous, but keyed up, like she’s a kettle full of steam. She just hopes she won’t start whistling as soon as he touches her again.

His room is warm and cozy, so she slips out of his jacket and places it on the chair, eyeing him to see what will happen next.

“Where’s that guitar of yours, pal?”

He flushes, glances behind him towards his room. He didn’t think she’d really want to hear him play. It feels a little… cheesy, you know? Like it’s just something he’s trying to do to get her panties off. Which is definitely not his angle. Well. He can’t pretend he doesn’t want her panties off, but that isn’t his only goal here. He wouldn’t even mind if they kept their clothes on all night, as long as she wanted to see him again.

He wants her to like him. And his guitar is part of that. So if she’s down, he is too.

“Just in my room,” he answers with a small smile. “You sit, I’ll go grab it.”

He nods towards the couch before falling back into his room. He toes his shoes off and tugs at his belt, removing it so he can relax a bit more. Though he’s not sure if that’ll be possible, what with Maya in his fucking room.

Shawn lights up when she mentions his guitar. As he hustles into his room, she sits on the edge of the sofa, bouncing her knee eagerly. She’s trying not to peek in and see his bedroom because it’ll probably just make her more nervous. Instead, she picks at her nails.

Shawn grabs his guitar off its stand and goes back to the common room, where Maya is perched on his sofa. He smiles and drapes the guitar strap over his shoulders before he sits down next to her.

He glances her way. “Any requests? Hotel California? Or something else?”

He comes back looking a little more comfy and she’s sure it has to do with the instrument in his hand. She smiles and pats the sofa beside her, kicking off her own shoes and sitting pretzel style, turned toward him.

She eyes the guitar, sees where it’s worn from his spending hours with it, plucking and strumming. It makes her smile to imagine what this guitar has seen and heard.

She makes herself comfortable next to him and he smiles at her as she beams at him. He could look at her smile forever, if she let him.

“Uhm… do you know She Will Be Loved?”

“Maroon 5, yeah? I love that song,” he says, looking down at his guitar and shifting his fingers on the neck of the guitar through the chords, just to make sure he’s got them sorted before he actually starts playing. He shoves his free hand into his pocket and finds a pick there, which is pretty typical for any given pair of pants he owns.

“I do a better piano cover of this,” he starts with a quirked smile, “But the guitar isn’t too bad.”

He doesn’t look at her when he starts playing, can’t look at her, because if he does he’ll get way too nervous. He’ll trip over chords and forget the lyrics. He keeps his eyes closed and focuses on the music, instead.

“Beauty queen of only 18, she had some trouble with herself…”

She’s just looking at his fingers as he starts to play, she doesn’t expect his voice to come out sounding like that.

Maya looks up from his pretty fingers and feels her smile drop in awe. His eyes are closed and his head is turned slightly away from her. It’s a mercy for them both, she thinks, as she tries to recover.

His voice is smooth and warm and well-practiced and somehow totally, beautifully Shawn. She leans closer unconsciously and licks her lips, bobbing her head a little as he continues.

It’s enchanting, sitting here like this with him as he plays one of her favorite songs. In some bleary, far off corner of her mind, she thinks this is probably the best first date she’s ever had, but she’s not thinking right now, just feeling.

Shawn’s eyes flutter open as he finishes singing, the last few chords of the song playing him out. He looks up to see Maya watching him, and he wonders if she did the entire time. The thought sends a shiver down his spine. He likes the way she looks at him.

He wets his lips and drops his fingers from the guitar to his knee, tilting his head.

“Hope I didn’t butcher one of your favorites,” he murmurs before lifting the strap and placing the guitar on the couch between them.

Maya blinks quickly when the song finishes. She sniffs gently, suddenly conscious of how intently she was watching him. When he looks up at her, he goes a little soft and shy and his reaction makes her decision for her.

“My falsetto isn’t exactly up to Adam Levine standards, but I think it’s getting there.”

He feels stuck now, sitting across from her on his couch. He has no other plans, besides wanting to grab her hand and pull her into him so he can kiss her again. He waits, with his heart lurching into his throat, for Maya to hopefully make the next move.

Maya tamps down a giggle and gently moves the guitar aside so there’s nothing left between them. She scoots in until her knees are touching his and places one hand on his as it rests on his knee and curls the other around his neck to scratch at the tiny curls that tickle him there.

She leans in until her eyes close, her nose brushes his, and she whispers, “Fuck Adam Levine.”

“Well, hopefully not--”

She kisses him with a smile on her lips.

He kisses her back easily, doesn’t even have to think about it. He just… melts. He melts into her, curling his fingers between hers, bringing his other hand to her hip so he can slide her a bit closer.

His hand wanders from her hip, to the small of her back, to her opposing hip so he can curl his arm around her waist. He holds her steadily and deepens the kiss, not as worried about being appropriate now that they’re safely tucked away in his suite. His tongue slips out and drags gently along her lower lip before he sucks at it, worrying the supple flesh with light nips of his teeth.  

He kisses her like he knows exactly how she likes it. She goes with him when he beckons, threading fingers through his curls and gasping at the gentle attentions of his teeth. Maya loses herself a little, climbing almost into his lap to feel warmer, closer, even better as he makes her feel so good. She’s hungry for it.

He pulls away just to breathe, nose nudging hers. “You-- eh, you feel--” he breathes out a laugh,  “Really good. That was really good.”

Really good is like, the understatement of the millennium, but he’s trying to avoid coming off as totally crazy. Even though that’s how she makes him feel. Totally and completely insane, in the absolute best way.

When he pulls back a little, she keeps her eyes shut and tugs teasingly at his hair, nodding at his clumsy but sweet assessment of the kiss.

“You feel… mhm, you feel good too.” Apparently the kiss melted both their brains.

He kisses along her cheek to her ear, mouthing at the shell as his nose grazes her hair.

He takes a breath. “Are you comfortable? I have a shirt you could wear.”

Maya’s breathing grows shallower as he finds his way to her ear, where she’s extra sensitive. His breath sets her whole body at a hum for him.

She swallows and takes a chance. “I don’t need a shirt if you’re going to take my clothes off.”

She gives him whiplash. He chokes against her ear and lets his forehead fall to her temple. He has to take a moment to breathe before he can look at her.

Slowly, he leans away from her so he can look her in the eye, his hand finding the back of her head, fingers slipping into her hair. He wets his lips. “Yeah? You-- That’s what you want?”

The seconds it takes him to inhale and lean back to look at Maya are some of the longest of her life. She looks down at his lips and back up. He’s looking at her like she just asked him if he wants a million dollars.

He figures it’s not something she’d accidentally say. But still. He needs to be sure he’s not dreaming. He needs to look her in the eye as she tells him it’s okay. He needs to know that she really does want him as badly as he wants her.

“Because we can just chill, you know, maybe watch The Office or something,” he offers, fingers scratching gently against her scalp and he studies her face.

He doesn’t really want to watch TV, but if that’s what she decides she wants, that’s what they’ll do.

And then, in the most Shawn-ish fashion, he offers a very vanilla, very sweet alternative. She can picture it, and it would be nice -- he’d get her a t-shirt to change into and would blush at all the leg she’s showing. They’d curl up under a blanket. Maybe he’d put his arms around her. They’d discuss their favorite episodes at length. It’s a great option.

It’s not the one she wants right now.

Maya leans in again, exhales slowly as she brushes the tip of her nose back and forth over his. “Maybe next time.”

She plants her hands on his shoulders and maneuvers herself into his lap to straddle him.

Next time. There’s that phrase again. He hopes to the God he doesn’t really believe in anymore that she’s not just playing with him. He wants next time so fucking badly, and this time isn’t even over yet.

His teeth sink into his lip as she slides into his lap, his hands immediately falling to her hips. He swallows, looks up at her from under his lashes as he pulls her flush against his thighs.

“You’re really fuckin’ beautiful, you know,” he murmurs, sliding one hand up her side until he can cup her ribcage, his thumb bracing her just beneath her breast. Slowly, he drops his head so he can dust kisses along her delicate collarbone, until he hits the strap of her dress. One hand slips to her ass as he nips at the fabric in his way, tugging it off of her shoulder before mouthing at her newly bared skin.

Maya smiles at his sweet comment and ducks her head a little. She manages to control the instinctive rolling of her hips as Shawn explores her clavicle and shoulder. His lips are soft but purposeful in their journey, wandering but not lost.

She presses back slightly into his hand when he dips it to cover her ass, wanting to feel just how big his hand is against her. She gasps breath around a gentle whimper of encouragement.

He wants to leave a mark, wants to leave evidence on her skin of their time together, of the way she makes him feel. His lips retrace their steps along her clavicle until he finds the base of her neck, flirting with the idea of sucking at her flesh until a bruise blooms beneath his teeth.

“How d’you like it?” he murmurs, gaze flicking up to her face as he lazily mouths at her throat. He hopes she knows what he’s getting at.

Shawn’s lips continue. Maya’s mouth is dry. Truthfully, she’s never let anyone give her a hickey before. In high school, she didn’t want to get caught with them. Now in college, she never wanted people knowing her business. But… there’s something in her fluttering gut that has her almost begging for one from him.

She perks up, peeking down at him and sinking her hand into his silky curls. “Want you to mark me.”

He groans, pressing his head into her hand and nodding. He nips at her skin, then soothes the reddening spot with his tongue.

“Okay, baby,” he murmurs, the pet name slipping out easily, as if he’s been calling her that for years.

Maya curls her fingers tight into his hair. The pet name makes her breath go short in her chest and she wriggles a little further up his lap, closer to him. She tips her head back and sighs, whispering his name under her breath.

He kisses her throat once, twice, then sucks her skin between his lips. He works her until she’s warm against his tongue. He releases her with a sucking ‘pop’ then nibbles her with his teeth until he’s satisfied with the red, splotchy mark that blossoms.

He knows exactly what he’s doing, and it’s so, so sexy. She wasn’t totally sure he would, given how blushy and sweet he’s been around her all night -- that doesn’t usually equate to confidence in the bedroom, but he’s proving her wrong with every firm purposeful nip and nibble.

God, he feels good. She blinks hard and realizes she’s said it out loud. Oh well. By the way she’s shifting in his lap, he probably knows how good she feels.

He pulls back, admires his work with a hum.

“Pretty,” he rasps, gaze flicking up to her flushed face. “Don’t think it’ll be too hard to cover down there, either.”

He pulls away with a wet noise that makes Maya’s thighs tighten against his. She lifts her fingers to trace where his mouth was and cracks a smile.

“I’m not hiding this one.”

A smile tugs his lips, but only for a moment. He dives back in to her neck, mouthing kisses along the column of her throat until he reaches her ear. “You wanna do me? Turnabout's fair play, and all that.”

Shawn’s hungry for more of her skin. She lets him have it willingly. His offer makes her bleary eyes open. She pulls away and looks him over, pink-cheeked, chest heaving, eyes wide and eager. She pinches his chin between her fingers and leans in, kissing him slowly. When she pulls away, she has a dangerous glint in her eye.

“Yeah,” she hums, leading a series of light kisses down his jaw to a spot under his ear that is so soft under her mouth she wants to plant a flag and call it hers. She flicks her tongue over it quickly and follows it with a nip before sucking his skin into her mouth.

Holy Shit.

“Holy shit,” he groans, his hips twitching as she latches on to one of his most sensitive spots. His hands fall to her ass so her can pull her closer, hold her tighter, even though they’re already pressed snugly together.

His cock is beyond hard in his slacks, pushing needily against his fly as his toes curl in his socks. She’s barely done anything and he feels like he might come. It’s always been his problem, getting too overwhelmed too quickly.

And with Maya it’s like, ten times worse.

“Fuck, sugar,” he groans as his head falls back against the couch, exposing even more of his neck for her while his fingers knead her round ass.

Maya nips a little harder than she means to when he grabs her ass and drags her until they’re chest to chest. She mewls into the mark she’s leaving him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders, reveling in how broad and strong he feels. And how totally at her mercy he is.

From this close, she can feel the length of him straining in his pants and she gets a little carried away, sucking and mouthing and nipping at this one spot until he’s almost purple. She winces and kisses it tenderly, sitting back a little to grin sheepishly as he massages her ass with his long fingers.

“Sorry,” she giggles, “That’s gonna be there for a while.”

His fingers find his neck for a moment, pressing into the sensitive, bruising skin beneath his ear. He moans, low and husky, and shrugs a little.

“S’okay. I--” he clears his gravelly throat, “I like it. I like you.”

He’s proud of himself. Proud that he can have the prettiest, sexiest, most fucking incredible girl in the world squirming in his lap and still not come in his boxers. Talk about fucking embarrassing.

He needs more.

“Wanna make you come. Please.” he pants, eyes shut as she kisses his neck. He pushes one hand under her dress, fingertips teasing the hem of her thong where it clings to the curve of her hip.

She trails along to the territory of his throat when he croaks at her again. She coos a sound of approval and sits back again to look at him. She nods frantically, pressing her hands into his chest to show her urgency.

“Touch me. I wanna feel you,” she pleads, squirming in his lap as his fingers scrape over her bare skin.

The whine in her voice makes his cock throb, and he sinks his fingers deeper into the soft flesh of her ass. He nods, licking his lips as he wraps an arm around her waist and stands up, holding her tight as he makes his way to his bedroom.

“In here,” he murmurs against her lips while kissing her, pecking her lower lip before sucking it between his teeth.

Shawn has enough presence of mind to take her to his bedroom. She stumbles over his feet a little, giggling into his mouth and it’s a warm comfort amidst all this sexy novelty. She rises on her toes to continue kissing him properly. He tastes so fucking good. She thinks she might not be able to leave his pretty lips alone now.

Carefully, he lies her down on his bed, then stands to the side. He tilts his head as he studies her, studies the rise and fall of her chest and the way the mark on her throat is beginning to turn purple. He smiles, just a quick quirk of his lips.

Maya fights herself to release him as he stands up beside her. His eyes are warm and curious as they look her over. She doesn’t flinch or shy away from them. She presses her ass into the bed and sighs needily.

“Do you want to take off your dress for me?” he asks in a low voice, his fingers finding the buttons of his shirt. He deftly snaps them open, then lets the dress shirt fall from his shoulders to pool at his feet.

But he gives her something to do and she’s grateful. She sits up, nodding as she stares at him. She glances away to fiddle with the zipper under her arm. When she’s got it, she looks back up and her face goes blank.

“Oh, holy fuck.”

His chest is firm and broad, leading to a tapered waist. His abs are beautifully defined without being overdone. He has a light trail of hair leading into his pants. Maya wants to cry.

Instead, she releases a whimper and lifts her dress over her head, climbing onto her knees. In her tiny thong and strapless bra, she’s still too clothed.

He looks up at her exclamation. She’s scrambling out of her dress, dropping it to the floor, and then she’s naked.

Well, not really naked, but still naked enough for his hand to fall to his clothed cock as he exhales through his nose, his lower lip tucked beneath his teeth.

“You okay?” he asks after a moment of looking, lifting a knee and pressing it to the bed. His hand drops from his dick and he reaches for her cheek instead, tilting her head back.

Shawn leans down, presses a kiss to the apple of her cheek, then to her jaw, then her earlobe.

He clearly misunderstands her expression of shock and awe and it only endears him to her more. So does his grabbing at his cock when she drops her dress.

“Tell me what you’re thinking, baby,” he murmurs, carefully licking at the shell of her ear, loving the way it makes a shiver roll down her spine.

As he lifts up onto the bed to kiss her face tenderly and tongue at her ear, her heart begins to race.

“You’re… so hot,” she croaks. After a moment, she chuckles nervously.

“I mean, you’re more than hot. Obviously. You’re incredibly sweet and thoughtful and funny and you tell stories well and you’re very handy with a guitar but Jesus Christ, you’re so fucking hot. Like, Cute Freshman is not an appropriate nickname for you at all. You’re… you’re definitely Fucking Hot Freshman,” she babbles.

He feels his cheek heat, and he’s suddenly very nervous despite all of the praises she gives. He presses his face into her neck so he doesn’t have to look at her, or else he might combust. He knew-- He knows he’s good looking, knows he’s not shabby in the body department either, but he didn’t know-- well, he didn’t think Maya was going just as crazy over him as he is over her.

Now, he thinks, maybe she is.

Maya takes the opportunity to play with his hair again when he tucks his face in her neck and kisses her there again. The skin is tender, but he’s gentle. She hums from the back of her throat and keeps her fingers entangled in his curls.

Maya blinks. “And… I like it when you call me ‘baby.’”

His heart stutters in his chest, and all he really cares about, more than being called sweet or hot or anything, is that apparently, he’s giving her things she likes. He kisses her neck, a careful brush of his slick lips against her bruised skin.

“And I like calling you baby,” he murmurs before pulling away so he can look at her, now that his breathing is somewhat under control.

“But who’s calling me Cute Freshman?” he asks with a cheeky grin, because he couldn’t help but notice that slight slip of her tongue.

She grins. “Oh, me. For a few months now. Well, not just me. Me and a bunch of the junior art girls. You’re just so… cute. Whenever I see you on campus, you smile at me. It’s cute.”

Maybe she should be embarrassed to admit she had a nickname for him before they even really knew each other, but she doesn’t care. Plus, she’s sitting naked beneath him feeling all the testosterone-driven heat melting off him, so it’s a little late for embarrassment over nicknames.

His head reels. A bunch of the junior art girls? He’s curious about it, but not as curious about the sounds Maya might make when he makes her come. He doesn’t care about other girls enough to distract himself from her.

Maya smoothes a hand down his chest, admiring his soft skin over rippling muscle. She skims over his slacks and cups his cock, lifting an eyebrow.

“But like I said, you’re so much more than just cute.”

His gaze drops to her hand and he hisses when she finds his cock, head falling back slightly as his hips press forward.

“Uh huh,” he rasps, because he’s quickly losing the ability to articulate actual words.

Shawn goes all throaty and soft when she gets a hand on him, but she doesn’t want to push it and start stroking him right away. She wants this to last and he… kinda looks like he’s already trying not to bust a nut. She drags her hand up to the button of his slacks and pulls at it, just flirting with the idea of taking them off.

“You-- ah, you know why I always say hi?” he asks to distract himself, to stop an unfortunate event from occurring in his slacks before they’ve gotten a chance to do much of anything. He clears his throat, looks down at her as he continues, “You were my orientation tour guide. I--” I think I’m kinda sorta a little bit in love with you. “--I thought you were so pretty. And smart. And just, someone I wanted to know.”

He wants to tell her he has the biggest fucking crush on her in the world, but he doesn’t. Her hand on his cock won’t get him to admit it, even though it seems like a sure sign she’d be okay with it.

He has to keep some cards to himself. For now, at least.

She frowns. She… doesn’t remember seeing him. How is that possible?

“Really? Shit, I don’t remember. I mean, it was a long summer of tours, I guess.”

She pushes hair off his forehead and smiles bashfully. “I… would’ve thought I’d remember you.”

He doesn’t care that she doesn’t remember him. He doesn’t blame her. She probably met like, a hundred different kids over the summer. He was just a face in the crowd.

She felt like a beacon to him.

He’s too fucking sappy for his own good.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs with a smile. “I’m pretty sure I remembered well enough for the both of us.”

Maya’s getting a little impatient. She curls her fingers through his belt loops and tugs him forward as she lies back until he’s planted above her.

“Kiss me,” she whispers.

His chest heaves as he watches her tug at his belt loops, stumbling forward until he’s over her on the bed, knees cradling her hips on either side. He drops a hand down to the pillow beneath her head, back curling as he leans down.

“I really like kissing you,” he murmurs before he catches her lips. His free hand slips between them, fingers teasing along her collarbone, down her sternum, until he reaches the little bow at the center of her bra. He realizes after a moment that beneath the bow lies the clasp, and he sucks in a breath.

Carefully, flicks the clasp and her bra falls open, the cups slipping away from her breasts. He keeps kissing her, keeps his lips flush against her cheek so he doesn’t distract himself by looking, not until she lets him know it’s okay.

Having Shawn propped up over her like this is a little intoxicating. He smells nice, like spicy cologne and clean boy. And god, can he kiss.

Maya drags her hands up his sides, feeling how they flare out to thick, warm shoulder blades. She holds on to them and goes still beneath him as his fingers meet the clasp of her bra. He gets it open without issue, which makes her smile into his warm, soft mouth. She teases his tongue with hers and lifts her back off the bed enough to pull the bra out from under her and drop it off the side of the bed.

From this angle, she can feel the way his cock strains against his pants. Maya breaks away from the kiss long enough to slide her fingers down his chest, around his belly button to the button of his slacks, looking into his eyes when she pops it open and starts tugging them down.

“Do you wanna touch me?” she whispers.

He pulls his head from her neck when she starts teasing her fingers down his torso until she reaches his pants. Her eyes are wide, glossy when he looks at her, and he wonders if he looks just as equally fucked. Probably more so, if he’s being honest.

He bites his lip and nods, lets his hand fall to her ribcage so he can cup her just beneath her breast. “All over, baby. Fuck,” he breathes, leaning back down to bite at her jaw.  

His thumb grazes the underside of her breast as he moves towards her nipple. He presses his face into her neck again and gently flicks the taut little peak. While mouthing at her throat, his hips drop and he presses his cock against her abdomen, slowly rutting against her.

“Feel so good, Maya,” he murmurs, kissing his way up to her ear and tugging at her nipple, giving it a little more attention than before.

Maya’s hungry hands come to a faltering stop around his hips when she feels his calloused thumb skim the underside of her breast. Her head tips to allow him access and she mewls gently, lifting a leg to wrap over his as he settles against her.

Maya’s nipples have always been so sensitive -- if he’d gone any further than the gentle flicking and tugging, she would’ve squirmed away uncomfortably. She knows he has no way of knowing that already, but it feels like he does. It feels like he just knows her. She arches into his touch, eyelids fluttering, hips rolling in time with his, nodding numbly.

“Yeah,” she breathes, “Feels like…”

She cuts herself off with a bite into her lower lip before she can say something ridiculous like “heaven” or “perfect.” She moans quietly instead.

She doesn’t finish her sentence and he doesn’t ask. He’s nervous to. He can fill in the blank in his mind, with something like, ‘Feels like I’m going crazy’ or even, ‘Feels like fucking heaven on earth.’

It’s nice, sometimes, to pretend.

“Where else?” he asks after a moment, finally ready to pull himself away from her neck, sitting back on his heels as he looks down at her. He swallows against a groan that threatens to spill from his lips. She’s gorgeous; flushed and arching beneath him, her dusky brown nipples taut, hopefully from his attention and not just the cool room.

“Where else do you wanna be touched, baby?”

He sits back and pants at her. Maya resists the urge to yank him back down on top of her because she misses his lips and fingers already. But it’s for a good cause.

Maya comes up on a forearm and watches him watch her. She sighs.

“Touch my pussy, Shawn. Please.” She drops back and lifts her hips, dragging her panties down her thighs, tossing them off the side of his bed.

“Shit,” he growls when she wiggles out of her panties and begs for him. It’s unbelievably sexy. Maya knows exactly what she wants and she’s not afraid of it. His cock throbs, but it’s not about him right now.

He swallows thickly as he lets his eyes wander down the length of her body, from her round tits to the soft curve of her stomach to her slick, spread thighs. He reaches for her knee just as he looks at her pussy, sucks in a breath at the sight of her.

Maya groans, eyelids fluttering as she finally gets the tiniest bit of relief from him sweeping his fingers down her stomach to spread her lips.

“Baby. Fuck, you’re pretty. And wet,” he growls, dropping his other hand to her cunt, pressing two fingers to her lips and spreading them wide.

He gets dirty fast and it takes Maya by surprise. She would’ve said she was expecting something a little more vanilla from him -- sweet missionary love making with whispered grunts and pretty words in her ear.

But this… this’ll work.

“You really this wet all for me?” he murmurs, eyes flicking up at her face as he massages her knee, tongue gliding slowly along his lower lip.

Maya spreads her legs further, needily. She chews on her lower lip and slides her hands up into her hair, nodding.

“God, yeah. Fuck, Shawn. So wet for you. All for you.”

She wonders if her dirty talk might be rusty, it’s been a while since she’s utilized it. But looking up at him while he’s looking at her like this, while he’s fucking touching her like this, she’s not worried. He may very well bring it out in her.

“You wanna make me feel good, baby?” she purrs.

He doesn’t know where his self control comes from, because she’s definitely trying to kill him. She spreads her legs, arches her back, grabs at her own hair like she’s absolutely desperate for him.

His hand goes to his cock again, because there’s only so much he can do.

“Yeah,” he rasps, slowly massages his fingers along her smooth, wet pussy lips. He avoids the tight clench of her entrance as well as her clit, curious to see how wet he can get her before he gives in and this is all over.

“I fuckin’ do, sugar. And I’m gonna— Gonna make you feel so good you’ll scream when you come all over my fingers,” he gets out in a growl, tugging at his cock as he spreads her lips wider and hangs his head so he can blow a sharp stream of air against her clit.

As she teases him, he teases her right back, and he knows exactly how. She hums and closes her eyes, focuses on the way his fingers feel as they stroke her, like they’re learning her and admiring her at the same time. She expected him to make quick work of her when he realized how wet she was, but he’s taking his time. Maya knows very well she’s worth the time, but most guys don’t realize that on the first date.

Her shiver at him calling her “sugar” again was followed quickly by a sharp gasp and the feeling that her entire body clenched hard for him all at once. She grabs at his hair and tugs, arching so hard off the bed that she almost knees him in the stomach but she’s out of control now. She squeals his name, feels herself drip onto his sheets below her.

“Jesus Christ, Shawn,” she pants, glancing down at him over her heaving chest. She’s beginning to realize he might end up being the best she’s ever had.

She whimpers at the idea and goes slack against the bed, ready to let him give it to her. “Please. Please touch me. Fuck me with your fingers.”

A slow, cocky grin splits his lips. She’s eager beneath him, responsive to him in a way he hasn’t seen before. He hasn’t even done much, but she says his name like a prayer.

The smile on his face has her on fucking fire. She’s almost delirious enough to look around her and make sure she’s not actively burning up.

He groans at her demanding pleas and drops down to kiss her, sucking at her bottom lip as his finger slip along her slit. Carefully, he nudges her dripping entrance with the calloused tip of his middle finger.

He nips at her before pulling away from her lips, then sits up straight again, head hung as he looks down at her.

“S’this what you like, baby?” he murmurs as he sinks the tip of his finger into her slick heat, hooking it slightly to press against her soft flesh. He’s not sure which angle is the best for her, but he’s gonna love taking his time to figure it out.

His kiss has her distracted again, sighing into his sweet mouth as he probes her wetness gently, exploring her, learning what gets her gasping. When he curls a finger inside her clenching walls, she moans, low and soft.

“Yeah,” she coos, “Yeah, I like that.”

Shawn doesn’t just thrust a finger inside and hope it gets the job done. He’s careful and meticulous, so gentle that she hangs on his every movement. She breathes heavily, looking between his hand and his face, pressing kisses into his cheeks and jaw every so often.

His free hand massages her inner thigh, slowly inching closer to her pussy with each press of his broad palm. Soon he’s close enough to stretch his fingers above her clit, teasing the neatly trimmed patch of curly hair there.

It’s fucking sexy, she’s so goddamn sexy.

He flirts with the notion of touching her clit. She lifts her hips to encourage him, but he smoothes through her patch of pubic hair to keep her on the edge.

“Feels so good,” she promises him, nodding as she wets her lips, “Need a little more, baby.”

He didn’t need her to tell him. He knows she needs more, knows he’s probably making her clit throb just as badly as his cock is. But that’s the best part.

He leans down, bites lightly at the apple of her cheek as he slips his fingers from her curls down to her spread lips, the tip of his index finger sitting just on top of her swollen clit. He taps her nub once, twice, then swirls his finger in a delicate, teasing circle, using her wetness for an easy glide.

Maya is trying not to get hysterical because that might be a little much for their first time doing anything sexual. He’s making it as difficult as he can to keep her from losing it and begging, wriggling her hips to get his finger in deeper.

She breathes through her nose and closes her eyes, yelping a little when he nibbles at her cheek. She giggles at his playfulness and tangles fingers in his hair to help steer him.

“Oh, yeah?” He purrs against her cheek, “Want my finger deeper in your pussy?”

He emphasizes his question with a flick to her clit, followed by a tight pinch between his forefinger and thumb.

His finger lingers around her clit, teasing her so gently her abdomen flutters. The sharp sensation of the flick and pinch sends her reeling.

“Ohmygod, oh my fucking god,” she croaks, nodding quickly, “Yeah. Deeper. Your fingers are so nice and long. I wanna feel them deeper.”

She doesn’t have the capacity to be embarrassed now. She’s laid it all out for him.

Shawn can’t hold out anymore; he gives her what she wants, sinks his finger deeper into her cunt, until he’s buried to the hilt.

He pulls back so he can watch himself play with her pussy. One finger circles her clit while he curls the other deep inside of her, before starting a slow rocking rhythm that has his knuckle grazing her sensitive walls.

As Shawn’s finger slides deeper, without much resistance due to how fucking wet she is, she exhales slowly, chest shuddering hard, chin tilting back with a quiet groan.

He’s working her up so good. He pays careful attention to each of her reactions, giving her exactly what she wants before she can show or tell him that she wants it. She’s high on him, rocking with each of his finger’s strokes, waiting for him to give her a little bit more.

“Shit,” he groans, “Look how wet you’re getting for me, sugar.”

He presses the front of his thigh against the inside of hers, spreading her legs wide so he can get a better angle to stroke her heat as he slips a second finger inside.

He tucks his fingers deep inside of her, then scrapes his thumb nail carefully over the sensitive nub of her clit, peeking out from under its hood.

Shawn spreads her legs further and looks down at her hungrily. He slips a second finger inside her easily, stretching her out, stroking her deeper. She swears under her breath and tucks her arms up under his pillow for something to hold onto as he tears her apart piece by piece.

With the sharp sensation on her clit, she bucks hard, hard enough his fingers almost slip out.

“Don’t stop, please don’t stop,” she begs, turning her flushed face into the pillow as she cries out for him, “Please, I’m so, so fucking close.”

He feels like sobbing as she whines and moans beneath him. She’s absolutely writhing for him, her wet cunt getting wetter with each flick of her hips and stroke of his fingers.

She’s particularly fond, it seems, of the rough scratch of his nail against her hard clit.

“Oh baby,” he coos, “You like it a little rough, huh?”

He swipes the roughened pad of his thumb across her clit before lifting his hand to give her a little spank, right on her perky nub.

She wants more, she gets more.

Maya flinches and gasps, “YES!”

Her clit throbs at his rough attentions. God, she’s definitely losing her fucking mind. And she’s definitely never had it this good, not from anyone.

He curls over her, kisses up the midline of her throat until he reaches her chin, then noses at her jaw. His fingers squelch as they pump in and out of her dripping, pink pussy.

“How’s that, Maya? God, you’re so gorgeous like this. I mean, shit, you’re always gorgeous but— Christ, can’t believe how good you feel on my fingers. So fucking good.”

Her cunt grips his fingers hard like she might not let him have them back. With every thrust he gives her, he gets her closer and closer. He murmurs quietly, kissing her inflamed skin nice and soft, and that’s what does it, more than the roughness or the careful attention to what she likes, it’s just… him.

“Shawn, I’m gonna come,” she pants, squeezing her eyes shut. Her toes curl against the bed and every muscle in her body tightens as it takes her. She gasps and roils against the sheets, holding onto it as long as she possibly can because Jesus, it’s so, so good. He’s so good.

She realizes she’s muttered that to him as she starts to come down with a goofy smile.

He’s never seen anything so breathtaking before. Her entire body clenches as her orgasm swells, and he’s mesmerized by the sound of her voice as she whines his praise.

He’s blushing, despite fucking her through it and blowing on her clit again. His cock twitches as he watches her drip all over his hand.

Her body relaxes around his fingers, her back relaxing into the bed as her orgasm begins to subside. He realizes his chest is heaving as he pulls his fingers from her pussy.

He looks from her flushed face to his wet fingers. He wants to taste her. He lifts his hand to his mouth and sucks at the tips of his fingers before cleaning the rest with long sweeps of his tongue.

“I think I’m gonna have to eat you out next time,” he murmurs as he sits back on his thighs. His cock aches at the thought.

“I mean, you know. If that’s okay with you like, consent wise and stuff. It’s whatever you want.” he says with a flush, eyes widening slightly.

Maya laughs cloudily, shaking her head at the look on his face when he tries to backtrack a little. She tilts her head at him.

“You can do whatever you want to me,” she hums, blinking sleepily.

After that performance, yeah, he’s got an all-access pass now. Maya shivers thinking about what he can do with his mouth after how worked up she got on his fingers.

Maya lifts her bare leg and wraps it around his back, urging him forward into her. Her hands reach to catch him as he lowers himself.

“C’mere,” she murmurs, looking for his mouth back on hers because it’s intoxicating and she wants to get him just as worked up as he did her.

She still wants him. He’s absolutely not complaining. He wasn’t going to ask if she didn’t offer, but this seems way more romantic than simple reciprocation. She actually wants him. Like it’d be an honor to make him feel as good as he made her.

He moans, soft and raspy, into her mouth as he rests on top of her, his cock rutting slowly against her belly.

She can taste herself on his tongue. It makes her arch into him, grip a little harder at the firm plane of his back as he rests over her, rocking against her gently, like he’s not sure she’s into it. She tightens the leg around his waist, squeezing him to give him permission.

“You—“ he pants against her lips, nudging at her nose with his. “I’m so fuckin’ hard for you. I hope that’s okay.”

He drops his lips to her jaw, nosing his way along her cheek as he pants into her skin. His cock twitches in his slacks and he swears he can feel her wetness seeping through the fabric.

Maybe he has a vivid imagination. He’s insanely hard, either way.

He breaks away to croak into her mouth. She bites her lower lip and groans gently at his honesty. She lies back, letting him explore her cheek and jaw tenderly as he grinds against her.

Maya sneaks a hand down to squeeze his ass, pushing at the fabric of his slacks to get him naked for her. She wants more of his flushed, pretty skin, wants to make him feel at least half as good as he did for her.

She gets frustrated by how tight his pants are. She grunts and sits up, almost knocking into his face as she does. She laughs and kisses him playfully, using both hands to shuck him out of his slacks and tip him onto his side.

He likes the way she handles him. Shuffles him out of his pants and pushes him down so she can have her way with him. Fuck. If this is how he dies, it’s a great way to go.

She straddles his hips, dropping to grind against him again, just for a little while, just to feel him, but by the look on his face, she can’t keep this up with him for long or he’s going to explode.

She presses her bare, wet pussy against his boxer-clad cock and rocks her hips, grinding into him like she wants him to explode. Shawn’s head falls back as he moans, his hands falling to her thighs to keep her tight against him.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Maya. You feel so fucking good like this.”

Maya gasps at the feeling of his hands sinking into the flesh of her thighs as she rocks into him. She plants her hands beside his head and struggles to regain her breath and her senses, but the noises he’s making and the shakiness in his voice as he praises her have her head spinning, have her all worked up again.

One naughty hand slips along her thigh towards her pussy. His thumb twirls through her pubic hair before slipping down to her swollen, sensitive clit. His hips buck so the head of his cock grinds against her clit while his thumb scratches lightly at the little hood.

“Oh god, ohmygod,” she swears. He’s touching her again. She’s got him on the edge of orgasm, about to lose his head, and he has the presence of mind to try to get her wet again.

God, she’s falling so hard for this kid.

“Could come like this,” he mutters, his voice fucked as he gazes up at her.

She leans forward until her lips drop to his cheek. She breathes softly, planting her hands beneath her so she can push herself up away from his lips that have her head all foggy and almost thinking, yeah, fucking let him come like this, grinding beneath me in his boxers.

She smiles gently, easing off his hips to his thighs, carefully pushing his boxers down his legs so she can finally get at him for real.

Maya drops a gentle fingertip to skate over his twitching cock as it rests wet and pink against his stomach.

“I wanna touch you,” she whispers, glancing up to his eyes for his permission.

He absolutely cannot argue with her. She can do whatever the fuck she wants with him.

His cock twitches as she grazes his shaft with her fingers. He drops his head back, lifts his hips and spreads his thighs.

“Yeah, please,” he nods, then looks down at her. “That sounds so— fuck— so good.”

Maya’s mouth waters a little when he spreads his thick, gorgeous thighs. She swallows a moan, trailing her fingertips down the inside of his left thigh, staring at him, admiring as he pants and fights to stay still for her.

He fists handfuls of duvet on either side of himself, biting his lips at he watches her. He’s not sure how long he’s gonna last, but he’s about to try his hardest not to be a mess before she really gets a chance to explore him.

“Do whatever you want to me,” he finally chokes, finding it easy to be so honest with her.

She smirks, watching him ball the duvet up in his fists. She makes a quiet humming noise in the back of her throat, dropping onto her forearms, brushing her lips over the sensitive tip of his throbbing cock. With just a gentle kiss, she pushes back up on her knees and wraps her fingers around his cock.

Her grip is reasonably tight. She licks her lips greedily, watching as she starts stroking him, long, slow, teasing strokes. She doesn’t know what’s gotten into her, but she kinda wants to hear him beg.

“How’s my hand feel?” she pants, grinning down at him.

She’s too fucking sexy for him. Too fucking charming and confident and a little too honest and a little too vulnerable and he loves every bit of it. It’s just her hand but it’s the best thing he’s ever had.

It’s her hand and he’s so fucking fucked.

He’s gonna call his mum in the morning and ask for love advice or something.

He really shouldn’t be thinking about mum.

Her voice draws his attention and he groans, squeezing his eyes shut as his head tips back.

“Maya, sugar— yeah, Jesus, so good.” He lifts his head, blinking at her as he pants, wets his lips. “You’re perfect. I’m so—“ his shut, he gasps and flicks his hips, cock twitching in her hand, “I’m so fucking into you.”

She’s really loving making him fall apart. He’s out of himself, bucking his hips and muttering sweet love words that make her smile. She tightens her hand, wrinkles her nose at him affectionately.

She bites her lip, sinks onto her forearm so she’s hovering over him, her hand still stroking, a little harder, a little faster, as she lies over him, close enough that she can see everything in his eyes.

“I like that you call me ‘sugar’,” she murmurs, leaning in to lick at his lower lip.

Maya slows her hand steadily, swiping her thumb up over the ridge on the underside of the head of his cock. She squeezes him gently, nudges his nose with hers.

“I’ll be your sugar if you be my baby,” she whispers before planting her lips against his.

His hips roll a bit faster as her slick, deft fingers grip his cock tighter. He pants against her lips, fingers curling into her thighs.

A growl passes between their lips as she kisses him, one hand flying up to cup the back of her head. He kisses her and kisses, tries to say, yes, please, whatever you want, without having to actually say it.

His cock throbs, weeping at the tip and dripping all over her hand. He bends his legs, slides his heels up the bed as he starts to fuck up into the tight clench of her fist.

He whines into her mouth, bites at her lower lip as he leaks all over them both.

He falls headfirst into her kiss, exactly where she wants him, where she needs him. She kisses back just as fiercely, massaging his tongue with hers in the same rhythm that she strokes his throbbing cock.

She loves how wet he’s getting her. She doesn’t think she’s ever had anyone want her so badly, be so ready to please her, show her how much she’s doing for him. She thinks she could pretty easily get hooked on this. On him.

“Gonna— shit, gonna come, Maya, my god,” he growls, head dropping back.

Maya tightens her hand and pumps faster, her heart sprinting in her chest as she chases him toward his orgasm. His feet slide up the bed and he’s fucking her hand and she realizes she’s whispering to him, telling him to come hard for her, she’s so into him, too.

Maya sits back and bites her lip, waiting for him to fall.

Her words of encouragement set him on fire. He nods but can’t answer, just grunts and reaches for her waist, gripping her as he rocks his hips up, pushing the head of his cock through the circle of her fist.

Maya doubles down, pulses his cock in her hand when he’s close enough to coming that it’ll throw him over the edge.

“Fuck-- fuck,” he growls, turning his head and pressing it into the pillow as his cock twitches, balls tightening before he comes, releasing himself across his abdomen and onto her fingers. His hips rock through it, her tight, warm hand milking him for all he’s worth.

He pants hard, bucks into her fist, goes all breathy and pink when he comes, splattering hard onto his chest and her hand. Maya strokes him through it, humming gently.

“Yeah, that’s it, baby,” she whispers, watching his frantic hips slow to a roll. She’s mesmerized, watching him fuck her hand, watching his eyes come back from wherever he went.

He groans as his cock aches, dribbles what’s left of his orgasm onto his stomach as he finally collapses down onto the bed. His legs slip out in front of him, his chest heaving as he sucks in a deep breath.

After a moment, his hand falls from her hip and he reaches for her wrist instead, pulling her from his dick. He bites his lip, looks up at her, blinking blearily a couple of times.

“Gimme a minute and I can get you a washcloth,” he murmurs, sending her a lazy smile.

Maya smiles gently and lets him tug her hand away from his sensitive cock. She nods and slides down on her side next to him, gripping his rib cage for his attention.

“No rush,” she murmurs, brushing her nose over his tenderly before kissing him, feeling the swell of his plump lower lip between hers, tasting his tongue.

She curls into his side easily, doesn’t even care that they’re both covered in his spunk. She doesn’t care because she likes being next to him, he thinks. Wants. Hopes.

He doesn’t like getting his hopes up too much, but he can’t help but read into the little hints Maya gives him. This night hasn’t made anything about his crush on her easier. It’s just that much harder, if anything.

He hasn’t fallen for a girl like this, ever.

She’s lying naked on his dorm bed beside him and they’re all sticky and she can hear drunk college kids singing and screaming on the quad outside his window. She smiles and turns her face into his chest, feeling it in her nose as his heart beat starts to settle.

Eventually, the come drying on his stomach gets a little too sticky and he carefully extracts himself from her side to fetch a couple of wet cloths.

He wipes his stomach off as he makes his way back into his bedroom, climbing up on the bed and handing off the warmed rag he brought for her.

Maya’s prepared to hunt down her panties and hurry away through the cold back to her off-campus apartment but she’s hoping he’ll have her stay. She thinks he probably will.

“You can stay, if you want,” he says with a little smile, tossing his cloth into the hamper in the corner before settling back against the pillows.

He settles back into bed with his invitation. She tries not to blush or look too smug. She sits cross-legged on the bed and plays with his fingers.

“Point me to your t-shirts, Mendes.”

God, yes.

He was worried for a moment she’d start getting dressed and make up something about needing to sleep in her own bed.

But she doesn’t, and now he’s dying to see her draped in his clothing.

“Oh-- duh, yeah. Hold on,” he grins at her before crawling off the bed and going to his dresser. He digs through the middle drawer and pulls out an old, soft Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure t-shirt and brings it over to her.

Maya doesn’t know why she blushes when he stands and scrambles to his dresser for a shirt for her. But he’s got a really great ass and she wants to grab it and smack it and bite it and oh, he’s coming back, she should probably look back up at his face now.

“That’s a good soft one,” he says as he places it in front of her before slipping back into bed himself. He presses his lips together as he watches her change.

Maya clears her throat and smiles, dropping the big, cool shirt over her chest. He’s right. It is nice and soft. She turns her nose into her shoulder and smiles at the way it smells like fabric softener. She knows she’s smitten now -- she’s giggling at the mental image of him doing laundry and using fabric softener.

“S’cool if I sleep naked, though? Not like-- I mean, this is how I always sleep but I can put boxers on if you want.”

He doesn’t exactly know how to do this. Girls either leave or kick him out, and the last girlfriend he had was in high school, and there were definitely no sleepovers there. So sleeping with a girl, like actually sleeping, is a pretty new thing for him.

Maya settles back against the pillow and shakes her head. “Go ahead, be free in your own bed.”

“I think I want to see you again this week please,” she murmurs sleepily, eyes drooping as she curls up against his side.

Shawn settles further into bed as Maya nestles into his side. He’s tired, but his heart is still racing. If she can hear it, she doesn’t let on.

“You can see me whenever you want,” he replies after a moment, his voice a gentle murmur as he watches her heavy eyes fall shut. Her chest rises and falls steadily, and she’s asleep within moments.

He doesn’t sleep much that night, too busy watching Maya sleep or waking up to see if she’s there, if she’s real, and to make sure the whole thing wasn’t a vivid fever dream.

She’s still there when dawn arrives, early morning sunlight beginning to creep in through the window. In a groggy haze, Shawn curls himself around her warmth and wakes her up with teasing kisses along the column of her throat. She stirs after six kisses or so, and they don’t leave the bed until their stomachs begin to growl in unison.

He takes her out for waffles and coffee milkshakes. It’s the perfect Next Time.

----------

Taglist: @the-claire-bitch-project @achinglyshawn @infiniteshawn @mendesoft @singanddreamanyway @alone-in-madness @abigfatmess @shawnitsmutual @awkwardfangirl2014 @september-lace @grittyisaho @sinplisticshawn @rollingxstone @yslsaint @randi-eve @fallmoreinlove @heyits-claire @itrocksmysocks @parkerspicedlatte @desire-to-live @jillian-nd

[luvneedsnosyt]

My Selections for GRAMMYS 2020

Continuing what I started last year here’s my reaction to the GRAMMY Nominations with my selections for who I believe should win, and also who I would have picked for each category.

Let me first lay out the ground rules: - I will be following the time frame for eligibility which is October 1st 2018 to September 30th 2019. - I will be ignoring categories for genres I don’t listen to enough. Metal, Country, Classical, Jazz, will be left off. - I am ignoring that the Performance categories are a mixture of recordings and live performances and just treating them as genre specific “Records of the year” awards. The one’s with “Song” in the title are geared more towards the song writing. - I will first make my selection of the available options. Bold and underlines will be my top selection with underlined not bold as my runner up. - I will then make my own selections for each category and who I think should win out of that. - My selection is not just a list of my favorite albums. My selections will be a balancing act taking in account artistic accomplishments, Impact both culturally and popularity as well as what I personally think is good. - I made a few liberties with some of my selections, mostly from the rules for eligibility being vague in spots. - This list is just all my biased suggestions. I’m sure there will be some major differences in opinions with anybody who reads this. - Feel free to shoot me a message to discuss more with me anything you wish to!

Album of the Year:

Ariana Grande - Thank U, Next Billie Eilish - WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE SO WE GO? Bon Iver - I,I H.E.R. - I Used To Know Her Lana Del Rey - Norman Fucking Rickwell Lil Nas X - 7 Lizzo - Cuz I Love You Vampire Weekend - Father Of The Bride

My Picks: Big Wild - Superdream Jacob Banks - The Village Illenium - ASCEND Khalid - Free Spirit Lizzo - Cuz I Love You Nick Murphy - Run Fast Sleep Naked Nilfür Yanya - Miss Universe Tyler, The Creator - IGOR

Record of the Year:

Ariana Grande - 7 Rings Billie Eilish - Bad Guy Bon Iver - Hey, Ma H.E.R. - Hard Place Khalid - Talk Lil Nas X - Old Town Road (Feat. Billy Ray Cyrus) Lizzo - Truth Hurts Post Malone & Swae Lee - Sunflower

My Picks: Avicii - SOS (Feat. Aloe Blacc) Bon Iver - Hey Ma Flume - Let You Know (Feat. London Grammer) G Flip - About You Illenium - Good Things Fall Apart (Feat. Jon Bellion) Khalid - Talk Lizzo - Cuz I Love You Taylor Swift - Lover

Song of the Year:

Billie Eilish - Bad Guy H.E.R. - Hard Place Lady Gaga - Always Remember Us This Way Lana Del Rey - Norman Fucking Rockwell Lewis Capaldi - Someone You Loved Lizzo - Truth Hurts Taylor Swift - Lover Tanya Tucker - Bring Me Flowers Now

My Picks: Flux Pavilion - Somebody Else (Feat. GLNNA)  G Flip - I Am Not Afraid Gryffin & Aloe Blacc - Hurt People Kahlid - Better Maggie Rogers - Alaska MUNA - Stayaway LÉON - You & I

Best New Artist:

Billie Eilish Black Pumas Lil Nas X Lizzo Maggie Rogers ROSALÍA Tank and the Bangas Yola

My Picks: Billie Eilish Clairo Dermot Kennedy G Flip Jacob Banks Kim Petras Maggie Rogers Nilfür Yanya

Best Pop Solo Performance:

Ariana Grande - 7 Rings Beyoncé - Spirit Billie Eilish - Bad Guy Lizzo - Truth Hurts Taylor Swift - You Need To Calm Down

My Picks: Bon Iver - Hey, Ma Billie Eilish - Bad Guy G Flip - About You Maggie Rogers - Alaska Nilfür Yanya - Heavyweight Champion of the Year

Best Pop Duo/Group Performance:

Ariana Grande & Social House - Boyfriend Jonas Brothers - Sucker Lil Nas X - Old Town Road (Feat. Billy Ray Cyrus) Post Malone & Swae Lee - Sunflower Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello - Senorita

My Picks: James Blake - Barefoot in the Park (Feat. ROSALÍA) JOHNNYSWIM - Souvenir Khalid - Outta My Head (Feat. John Mayer) Mark Ronson - Late Night Feelings (Feat. Lykke Li) MUNA - Stayaway

Best Pop Vocal Album:

Ariana Grande - thank u, next Beyonce - The Link King: The Gift Billie Eilish - WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? Ed Sheeran - No. 6 Collaborations Project Taylor Swift - Lover

My Picks: Billie Eilish - WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO? G Flip - About Us Kim Petras - Clarity Maggie Rogers - Heard It In A Past Life Nilfür Yanya - Miss Universe

Best Dance Recording:

Bonobo - Linked The Chemical Brothers - Got To Keep On Meduza Feat. Goodboys - Piece Of Your Heart RÜFÜS DU SOL - Underwater Skrillex & Boyz Noize - Midnight Hour (Feat. Ty Dolla $ign)

My Picks: Big Wild - Joypunks Flume - Let You Know (Feat. London Grammer) Flux Pavilion - Somebody Else (Feat. GLNNA) Illenium - Good Things Fall Apart (Feat. Jon Bellion) Elohim - runnin

Best Dance/Electronic Album:

Apparaty - LP5 The Chemical Brothers - No Georgraphy Flume - Hi This Is Flume [Mixtape] RÜFÜS DU SOL - Solace Tycho - Weather

My Picks: Big Wild - Superdream Alan Walker - Different World Illenium - ASCEND RÜFÜS DU SOL - Solace Whethan - Life of a Wallflower Vol. 1

Best Rock Performance:

Bones UK - Pretty Waste Gary Clark Jr. - This Land Brittany Howard - History Repeats Karen O & Danger Mouse - Woman Rival Sons - Too Bad 

My Picks: FIDLAR - Get Off My Rock Karen O & Danger Mouse - Turn the Light Mother Mother - Dance and Cry The Ting Tings - Estranged Foals - Exits

Best Rock Song:

Tool - Fear Inoculum The 1975 - Give Yourself A Try Vampire Weekend - Harmony Hall Brittany Howard - History Repeats  Gary Clark Jr. - This Land 

My Picks: Brittany Howard - He Loves Me Circa Waves - Sorry I’m Yours Karen O & Danger Mouse - Woman Of Monsters and Men - Rororo Vampire Weekend - This Life

Best Rock Album:

Bring Me The Horizon - amo Cage The Elephant - Social Cues The Cranberries - In The End I Prevail - Trauma Rival Sons - Feral Roots

My Picks: Bring Me The Horizon - amo Circa Waves - What’s It Like Over There? Foals - Part I: Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost Mother Mother - Laugh and Cry The 1975 - A Brief Inquiry Into Online Relationships

Best Alternate Album:

Big Thieft - U.F.O.F. Bon Iver - I,I James Blake - Assume Form Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride Thom Yorke - Anima

My Picks: Bon Iver - I,I Nick Murphy - Ran Fast Sleep Naked James Blake - Assume Form Karen O & Danger Mouse - Lux Prima Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride

Best R&B Performance:

Daniel Caesar & Brandy - Love Again H.E.R. - Could’ve Been (Feat. Bryson Tiller) Lizzo - Exactly How I Feel (Feat. Gucci Mane) Lucky Daye - Roll Some Mo Anderson .Paak - Come Home (Feat. Andre 3000)

My Picks: Kindness - Hard To Believe (Feat. Jazmine Sullivan & Sampha) Mahlia - What You Did (Feat. Ella Mai) Maverick Sabre - Slow Down (Feat. Jorja Smith) Nicole Bus - You Rationale - Explosions 

Best Traditional R&B Performance:

BJ The Chicago Kid - Time Today India.Arie - Steady Love Lizzo - Jerome Lucky Daye - Real Games PJ Morton - Built For Love (Feat. Jazmine Sullivan)

My Picks: BANKS - Look What You’re Doing to Me (Feat. Francis & The Lights) Jacob Banks - Love Ain’t Enough Kahlid - Better Lizzo - Cuz I Love You Ruti - Racing Cars

Best R&B Song:

H.E.R. - Could’ve Been (Feat. Bryson Tiller) Emily King - Look At Me Now Chris Brown - No Guidance (Feat. Drake) Lucky Daye - Roll Some Mo PJ Morton - Say So (Feat. JoJo)

My Picks: BJ The Chicago Kid - Reach (Feat. Afrojack) Khalid - Free Spirit Lucky Daye - Concentrate Maverick Sabre - Weakness Ruti - Racing Cars

Best Urban Contemporary Album:

Steve Lacy - Apollo XXI Lizzo - Cuz I Love You Georgia Anna Muldrow - Overload NAO - Saturn Jessie Reyes - Being Human in Public

My Picks: BANKS - III Kindness - Something Like War Lizzo - Cuz I Love You Maverick Sabre - When I Wake Up NAO - Saturn

Best R&B Album:

BJ The Chicago Kid - 1123 Lucky Daye - Painted Ella Mai - Ella Mai PJ Morton - Paul Anderson .Paak - Ventura

My Picks: BJ The Chicago Kid - 1123 Dawn Richard - New Breed Jacob Banks - The Village Kahlid - Free Spirit Anderson .Paak - Ventura

Best Rap Performance:

J. Cole - Middle Child DaBaby - Suge Dreamville - Down Bad (Feat. J.I.D., Bas, J. Cole, EARTHGANG & Young Nudy) Nipsey Hussle - Racks in the Middle (Feat. Roddy Rich & Hit-Boy) Offset - Clout (Feat. Cardi B)

My Picks: Denzel Curry - RICKY Big K.R.I.T. - K.R.I.T. HERE Freddie Gibs & Madlib - Palmolive (Feat. Pusha T & Killer Mike) Little Simz - Boss Mustard - Pure Water (Feat. Migos)

Best Rap/Song Performance:

DJ Khaled - Higher (Feat. Nipsey Hussle & John Legend) Lil Baby & Gunna - Drop Too Hard Lil Nas X - Panini Mustard - Ballin (Feat. Roddy Rich) Young Thug - The London (Feat. J. Cole & Travis Scott)

My Picks: Chance The Rapper - All Day (Feat. John Legend) GoldLink - Zulu Screams (Feat. Maleek Berry & Babi Bourelly) Kevin Abstract - Joyride Lizzo - Tempo (Feat. Missy Elliott) TOBi - Come Back Home (Feat. VanJess)

Best Rap Song:

YBN Cordae - Bad Idea (Feat. Chance The Rapper) Rick Ross - Gold Roses (Feat. Drake) 21 Savage - A Lot (Feat. J. Cole) Nipsey Hussle - Racks in the Middle (Feat. Roddy Rich & Hit-Boy) DaBaby - Suge

My Picks: Boogie - Soho (Feat. JID) JID - 151 Rum Rapsody - Nina Raja Kumari - SHOOK YBN Cordae - Have Mercy

Best Rap Album:

Dreamville - Revenger Of The Dreamer III Meek Mill - Chamionships 21 Savage - I Am> I Was Tyler, The Creator - IGOR YBN Cordae - The Lost Boy

My Picks: Denzell Curry - ZUU GoldLink - Diaspora Rapsody - Eve Lil Simz - GREY Area Tyler, The Creator - IGOR

Producer of the Year (Non-Classical):

Dan Auerbach Finneas Jack Antonoff John Hill Ricky Reed

My Picks: Big Wild Diplo Jack Antonoff Seven Lions Tyler, The Creator

[leisurelypanda]

Fic Year in Review 2018

This is only looking at works posted in AO3 (mostly because that’s the only platform I use). I found this meme through @thors-soft-cheeks and I’m gonna tag @duelingnebulas and @sergeantscarlett.

Total Word Count: 578,663

Total Fics Written: 17

Fandoms Written In: Fire Emblem, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Tales of Berseria, Final Fantasy XV, and Rune Factory 4

Chronological List (by date completed):

February:

The Radiant Family 23.7k, E, Ike x Soren, modern au, mpreg, WIP

June: 

What Happens in Asgard... 5k, E, Stucky, post Infinity War, a/b/o, woke up mated

Cast Your Cares Aside 4.8k, E, Thundershield, Daddy Kink, written for Father’s Day, dom/sub

July:

Patriotic Duty 4.8k, E, Stucky, Happy Birthday Steve Rogers, dom/sub

Time to Pay Up 8.7k, E, Stucky, Lost a Bet, Friends to Lovers, Steve dressing up as a French Maid

Seasons of Love 11.5k, T, Thundershield, College AU, Teaching Assistant Thor x Student Steve

Offering of Praise 13.6k, E, Thor x Steve x Bucky (Winterthundershield, College AU, Thundering Heart Series, kink, dom/sub

A Port in a Storm 5.6k, E, Zaveid x Eizen, Hurt/Comfort Sex, Drinking, Semi-Platonic

August:

A Prince’s Burden 7.6k, E, Gladnoct, Daddy Kink, No Powers AU, dom/sub

September:

Ballad of the Thundering Heart 239k, M, Thor x Steve x Bucky (Winterthundershield), High School AU, no one is underage, trauma recovery, polyamory, slow burn

Callused Hands, Gentle Melodies 12.6k, E, Dylas x Frey, WIP, first time

October: 

Getting Pegged 4k, E, Steve x Peggy, Pegging, Moving In Together

December:

Baby, It’s Cold Outside 9k, E, Stucky, Shrinkyclinks, There Was Only One Bed, Friends to Lovers, Snowed In, dom/sub

Hail to the King 42.2k, E, Thundershield, Winterfrost, Consort AU, dom/sub, kinky, WIP, Porn Without Plot

Holiday Blues 6.8k, E, Thor x Steve x Bucky (Winterthundershield), lingerie, hurt/comfort, polyamory, Christmas fic, Thundering Heart Series

Who Says You Can Never Go Home Again? 102k, Stucky, a/b/o, sequel to What Happens in Asgard..., mpreg

Storm over Still Waters 32.5k, M, Thundershield, WIP, a/b/o, Steve saved from sex trafficking, kid!Bucky, Police Officer!Thor, trauma recovery

Did you write more fic this year than you thought you would, less, or about what you’d predicted?

Way, way more! Seriously, I had no idea I could write this much before this year!

What’s your own favorite story of this year?

Definitely Ballad of the Thundering Heart. I loved it from the very beginning. Everything was just so amazing and felt so natural. I was able to explore so much, from beginning relationships, to past abuse, to paganism, and (unexpectedly) polyamory. It was so much fun to write, too!

Did you take any writing risks this year?

Yes! Writing a story that suddenly turned polyamorous was kinda scary, not gonna lie. Also, writing a/b/o, a trope that I’ve enjoyed for a long time, but never really thought to try until this year. Both turned out pretty well, honestly. 

Do you have any fanfic goals for this year?

Yes! I’m wanna write a Stucky Werewolf AU fic, a Thundershield Merman AU fic, a MCU/Assassin’s Creed crossover story, finish my current WIPs, and write a shrinkyclinks sugar daddy story. I have many, many goals. We’ll see if I manage to achieve them all. 

What was...

My best story of the year:

Definitely Ballad of the Thundering Heart. Nothing since then has had quite the same feel of it. I’m definitely biased, though. 

My most popular story of the year:

Again, Ballad of the Thundering Heart, if we’re going by kudos, though Who Says You Can Never Go Home Again? got way more comments and a lot of traffic overall. 

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe (in my opinion): 

I’m definitely going to have to say A Prince’s Burden. That entire ship is under-appreciated, though. I thought it was good and sweet and kinky and I wish the Final Fantasy XV fandom appreciated Gladnoct more. 

Most fun story to write:

Ballad of the Thundering Heart. Honestly, I really have no idea how I’m ever going to top that story. 

Hardest story to write:

I’m definitely going to have to say Who Says You Can Never Go Home Again? Pregnancy is weird and hard and being someone who will never have to go through it makes the whole writing it aspect both interesting and really difficult. 

Biggest Disappointment:

I was really disappointed by the very small amount of reaction that Holiday Blues received. I think it deserves more love. 

Favorite Opening Lines: 

The throne room of Asgard was large and ornate. Vaulting pillars held up a mosaic ceiling depicting the history of their world. Sunlight streamed in through large arches that led out to the balconies overlooking the city. It was easily more beautiful than any official court on earth. Steve had gaped at it all every time he entered the room for days. Now, with conscious effort, he was able to avoid looking like a tourist.

Which was especially important, today of all days. Odin had died about 2 months ago. Now Thor was to be crowned King-Regnant of Asgard. Steve hadn’t seen him in about a week and so hadn’t seen Thor in his coronation garments. The only thing Steve has heard about it from Frigga and Loki was that they will be stunning.

If the throne room is anything to go by, that’s probably an understatement, Steve thought. The throne room was filled with people standing and milling around the sides of the room. All of them were dressed in plumage and regalia that put any human sovereign to shame. If they were humans, Steve would have thought of them as a flock of peacocks trying desperately to attract the attention of those with power and prestige.

They still might be, Steve mused. After all, he knew nothing of Asgardian politics. He’d never asked and Thor never brought it up.

Well, that wasn’t, strictly speaking, accurate. Steve did know one thing. His own outfit marked him as new king’s official consort. Not husband, for reasons of future inheritance, but it still labelled Steve as Thor’s lover and the one who was favored by Thor. Thor explained that even should he marry in the future, all the court would know that Steve was the one who was the recipient of Thor’s affections. It was, effectively, one of the most powerful positions in Thor’s court. Not that Steve cared about such things. He just wanted Thor in whatever capacity he could have him.

-from Hail to the King

Favorite closing lines:

“How’d I do?” Steve asked.

“I thought you did great,” Bucky said. “That last guy was way out of line.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Honestly, I’m glad Sam’s becoming Cap, but especially because people like that guy will have to get used to saying referring to a black beta man as ‘Captain America’.”

“If I knew you were so eager to rock the boat, I woulda suggested this a long time ago,” Sam said with a grin. “I make this shield look good.”

Bucky rolled his eyes and flipped Sam off. Sam just laughed softly so as to not wake the babies who seemed to enjoy the sound of tv. At least, it got them to sleep for a bit. If it got them to sleep at night, Bucky would buy them the biggest, fanciest tv out there.

“So what now?” Bucky asked. Steve wrapped his free arm around Bucky’s waist and pulled him close.

“Now, we go home,” he said.

-from Who Says You Can Never Go Home Again?

[hellyeahomeland]

...so when is season 8 actually premiering?

*tap tap* is this thing still on? 

We interrupt literally the BEST and MOST BORING hiatus of all times to talk about something that we’ve been chatting about internally at HYH recently:

Is the final season actually premiering in June or, as the Twitter rumor mills would have you believe, is it being moved to the fall? 

When I saw this tweet over the weekend, I was skeptical at best: 

The tweet links to this article, which describes a Production Weekly report that lists Homeland’s exact production dates and locations, including Morocco (already knew) and New Mexico (wtf). 

As a Claire Danes Google alert subscriber, I receive a lot of highly questionable “news” about Homeland written by websites I’ve never heard of that seem to just regurgitate articles and draw baseless conclusions. Sometimes these articles turn out to be right (and I am accused of being biased toward all Germans), but most of the time it’s #FakeNews. 

All of which is to say there was something sorta weird about the above linked article that stuck with me and I decided to do my due diligence and see if any of the article’s claims actually turned out to be true. 

I hereby present:

So What is the Truth Dot Gif: Season 8 Premiere Edition

Claim #1: 

“According to a listings report from Production Weekly, Homeland season 8 will begin filming on February 8 and it is expected to take place in Morocco and New Mexico... The listings also reveal that filming will go on for a period of 7 months and will wrap on September 25. Homeland season 8 was expected to premiere this June but unfortunately, it looks like it will be delayed further and will premiere sometime this fall.” --PurseNews.com

This Production Weekly report does actually exist and contains info about Homeland, as well as such titles as Bless This Mess, The Healing Powers of Dude, and How to Buy a Baby 02 (yes, apparently there is a part 1). However, because I am unwilling to shell out $59+ to see what the report actually says, its contents remain a mystery (please don’t ask me how I justify some Homeland-related expenses and not others).

An early February production start is in line with what we’ve been expecting for the last eight months and Homeland seasons have consistently taken 6-7 months to film so nothing about the production start and end seems that abnormal. On the contrary, it’s all very routine. 

(Quick aside to say I have absolutely no idea what they’re doing in New Mexico, but I can only imagine if they’re shooting in New Mexico it’s to shoot the southwestern US for the southwestern US.)

Claim #2:

“SHO site still says June.” --me, myself, and I 

This is now false, as I clarified in a follow-up tweet. 

Now, it would not be the first time I completely conjured up fake Homeland information in my brain, but I was fairly certain that at one point the Homeland page on the Showtime website said that season 8 was coming in June 2019. Today, it just says “coming in 2019.”

A quick check of the Wayback Machine shows that it at one point did say June 2019. So I wasn’t hallucinating. The last time I could find where the June 2019 date was listed was November 2: 

Later that month, the “June” part went away, so it’s as it appears now. 

None of my investigations into the above claims really cleared anything up. In fact, they just spawned more questions:

Question #1: 

Do any other Showtime series list their next season premiere dates? 

The Affair does not, though no premiere date has been announced. It does say that a new season is coming. 

The Chi does not, though no premiere date has been announced. It does not say a new season is coming. 

Penny Dreadful has no indication that a fourth season is in production. 

Ray Donovan has no indication that it has been renewed for a seventh season.

Ditto Kidding for a season two.  

Those are the only currently renewed Showtime series in which a premiere date has not been announced for a new season. And all they say is “X Seasons Now Available.” They don’t even say when they’re set to air. 

It’s hard to say if this means we should conclude that season 8 will absolutely definitely premiere in 2019, since that seems like such a foregone conclusion at this point. 

But the removal of “June” from the website doesn’t seem like that big of a deal when many other series don’t even say that a new season is coming or in what year

Question #2: 

Why would a February to September production schedule mean a June premiere is no longer feasible?

In short, they just wouldn’t be finished in time. If the show premiered June 30, the final episode would air in mid-September. If they aren’t even going to finish filming until the end of September, that final episode would be like The Sopranos finale except the cut to black happens in the first five minutes (#GansaWould). (Now I am positively LAUGHIN’ at the possibility of the show just cutting to black after Mandy Patinkin grumbles, “Previously on Homeland.”)

Previous seasons of the show have started production about 4 months before the premiere and wrapped about 3-4 weeks before the finale (all basically like clockwork; I’d insert a table here but I’m lazy so please trust me!) On average, filming of the entire season has taken about 6-7 months.

The biggest difference with season eight seems to be that it’s going to take nearly 8 months. 

Assuming production is going to be completely wrapped by September 25, an aggressive-ish estimate for the series finale would be October 20. Subtract 12 weeks from that date and you have August 4 as the premiere date. 

Question #3: 

But isn’t August 4 kind of a lame time to have the final season premiere? 

Somewhat yes, somewhat no. If this show aired on a network and/or 10 years ago, I’d say definitely yes. But the final season of Breaking Bad premiered on August 11 about 6 years ago. The most recent season of Game of Thrones aired in the summer as well. 

It’s hard for me to imagine that Showtime cares about ratings for this show in its final year. (Obligatory “we don’t talk about ratings here! GET OFF MY LAWN!”)

Question #4: 

But if they’re going to premiere in August at the earliest anyway couldn’t they just wait 6 more weeks and have it premiere at the end of September like it used to?

Yes, they could! 

Question #5:

But then they’d ruin our Christmas?

Yes, they would! 

Question #6: 

But wouldn’t airing in the fall mean the season is up for different awards?

There would be no difference between the award cycles the show was eligible (Emmy, Golden Globe, SAG) for if it aired from August to October or October to December. (The 2019 Emmy cutoff is June 1.)

Fall television premieres do have more prestige than summer ones, but again I think that’s changing and my gut says that if you’re tuning into the final season of Homeland 8 years in, you’d do so regardless of if it was airing in August or September/October. 

Question #7:

Doesn’t Showtime have other shows premiering in the fall though?

I have literally no idea. None of the premiere dates are listed on their website!!!

Question #8: 

But if they are filming in Morocco and the show premieres in the summer, how will they do press for the season? 

After the literal impossibility of Claire Danes being able to stop time, this is another really great argument for the show premiering in the fall, after production has completely wrapped. Previous seasons that filmed overseas had a few weeks-long break that coincided with both the Emmys and the season premiering, and this break is when all the pre-season press was done (in addition to the end of the season). 

Now, I suppose it’s completely possible they could insert that same break in late July/early August, but from a pure logistical/time maximization standpoint it makes a lot more sense for them to do all the pre-season press once production is fully wrapped and they’re back on US soil. 

Then again, maybe the reason the production schedule is so long is because they’re taking a bunch of breaks. 

Question #9: 

Oh! I know! They’re going to do 6 episodes premiering in June, and then six episodes premiering several months later!

This is not a question and I smite you for bringing this thought into the universe! 

Question #10: 

So it’s going to air in the fall after all? 

If I were a betting person, which I most definitely definitely definitely am not, I’d put money on a summer premiere date over one in the fall. 

IN CONCLUSION:

[megacircuit9universe]

Fly Boy

WED OCT 07 2020

Tonight we had the Vice Presidential debate between Mike Pence and Kamala Harris.  And as such debates go, it felt pretty unremarkable... except for the fact that a fly chose to land on Pence’s bright white head and stay there, unnoticed by Pence, for over two minutes.

TikTok had videos of people’s cats at home, trying to get the fly off Pence’s head... because, you know... HD television these days, and... a black fly in a sea of snow white hair is impossible to miss.

And you might be thinking, you’re just pickig on some random act of nature, to embarass Pence, rather than dealing with the substance of his arguments, because you’re lazy and biased!

But I would answer that this fly on his head was incredibly symbolic of what made this debate truly unique and remarkable... because the fly is a symbol of death.  And death... is now the central issue of the election.

Return with me in your memory to eight days ago... the Tuesday night Presidential debate between Trump and Biden.  That was the last night, in which we did not yet know that Trump, most of the white house, and a good many more GOP elites in other high seats... were all positive for Covid.

A few entries back, after the conventions, I wrote that the tone of the two campaigns was now set in stone.  Biden/Harris would focus on the pandemic, while Trump Pence would ignore the pandemic, and focus on the lawless chaos of protests and rioting.

We’ll set aside the absurdity of blaming Biden for protests and rioting that are happening on Trump’s watch... as the result of the great civil and economic unrest created by Trump’s incompetence in the face of a crisis...

...and focus on the fact that now, in the first full business week of October, and just 8 days after the first debate... Covid19 is undeniably, inescapably front and center.

Not because the numbers are ticking up again, due to the fall weather creeping in (but they are).

Not because Biden/Harris have been banging the drum about it to any exceptional degree.

Rather because Trump himself is now positive... was hospitalized... and has since become a roid-raging lunatic about it... at the same time as it’s spreading like wildfire through the White House, and beyond... to GOP elites in other branches of government.

The massive failure of leadership, this betrays, could not be more obvious to the public, and cannot be overstated.

With more power than any other human on the planet... Trump could not protect himself, or the White House, or congressmen and governors who attended a White House event... from Covid19.  

And like a black-light at a rave, exposing all the invisible stains on your clothing and your skin... this White House outbreak has all of their hands glowing very brightly, with the blood of the two-hundred and ten thousand Americans who have died of the novel virus over the past seven months.

If your arrogance, and ignorance are so blinding... that you can’t even keep yourself and the White House (or Pentagon!) safe... then you haven’t a leg to stand on when pretending you did anything at all to save a single life out there in the electorate.

The fly, in everyday life, is seen as a harmless nuisance... but occasionally we’re reminded that... oh yeah... they do really love dead bodies, don’t they?  And for that reason, they are occasionally portrayed in movies as attendants of evil.

And tonight, just as they could not keep Covid from breaching the White House... Pence and his team could not keep out every last fly from the debate space... and could not keep the one who got through, from attending to his evil master’s side.

But lest you think I’m getting overly dramatic, let’s look at tonight’s debate from a different angle...

If the Trump/Pence administration had done everything exactly the same, through 2017, 2018, and 2019... with all the controversey they created... 

...if they’d simply dealt with Caronavirus in 2020 the way any other previous administration would have; giving the CDC the reigns and taking credit when the curve flattened... leading by example, by simply wearing masks in photo ops... encouraging congress to write up some fat stimulus bills to help the public survive quarantine, and keep small businesses afloat... and preaching a little unity in times of adversity...

...they would be untouchable, here in October of the election year!

The Biden/Harris ticket would look like a white flag of surrender from the Democrats... just a token ticket of losers to run for the sake of running... that everybody would understand, were gonna be steam rolled under the momentum of another incumbent administration getting it’s God-given second term.

Both last weeks Presidential, and this week’s Vice Presidential debates would have been walks in the park for Trump and Pence, who would have both been relaxed, jovial, and 100% Covid free... because the death toll would be low, the virus would’ve been under control for months, there would never have been any protests, much less rioting, and even if the economy wasn’t booming... people would still feel confident that the government was doing their best to have their backs.

They would be untouchable... despite... babies in cages being lost to human trafficking... cover ups of endless criminal scandals... amassing executive power while deconstructing checks and balances... and all the other atrocities and naked power grabs of their first three years.

Instead, here in October 2020, the only issue is Covid, and it’s death toll.

Nobody cares right now about last summer’s protests and riots.  And nobody cares about illegal imigrants, for God’s sake, in a world where Americans are barred from flying to any other country on the planet, because we’re the filthy diseased losers... and even our President is a defiant super spreader.

A defiant super spreader who, two days ago, shut down any hope of a second stimulus package until he’s reelected... which is another way of saying he’s taking the nation hostage, demanding reelection.

The first stimulus was extremely disappointing... at first promising everyody 1200.00 a month until the crisis was over... but then only being a one time payment of 1200.00 last April, which did virtually nothing to help... and left us all hanging out to dry for five long months. 

Here in October, no sign of any further aid... and only the promise to withold all aid until a reelection?  How monsterous!

This, from a crazed, steroid-addled lunatic who can’t possibly win without Wisconsin, Arizona, and Florida.  He needs all three to have any chance, and they’re all leaning blue, which means any one of them will definitely flip, if he’s fucking over the working class voters of their big cities by promising zero stimulus.

And while it DID look, as recently as last September, and last August, like these strong man tactics could actually prevail... like Trump might just bully himself into a second term through relentless intimidation... well, the firm ground he stood upon has lately turned to quicksand.

It was less than two weeks ago, I was writing that people need to lose the superstition about Trump being magical... and fated to win against all odds.

A day later,  was saying that the New York Times had gotten a single drop of blood from the Mad Titan, by publishing his tax returns and showing he was not a billionaire, but in fact, billions in debt... and that this was a good sign, because it exposed a bit of weakness.

But since then... the house of cards has collapsed very quickly.  And not because of another expose’... but because he got Covid... which has exposed him as not only mortal, and non-magical... but also pathetically weak when it comes to the basic self preservation abilities we would attribute to any strong man worth his salt.

And since then he’s just been slipping and sliding... crashing the stock market with a single tweet... floundering desperately to get any political footing at all, while Biden is running further away with the lead every day.

God’s not just bleeding... he’s on the floor, reaching out for a grab bar that nobody installed, because those are only for invalids.

How he comes back from this to win four more years... with less than one lunation before Election Day*... is difficult to fathom.

We could learn tomorrow that Pence too, is Covid positive... or that the stock market is finally falling over a cliff... or that the pandemic is raging back with a vengeance... or that civil unrest is sparking anew... or any combination of the above... making life ever more insecure and intolerable for average Americans as we get closer to November 3rd.

Could we learn tomorrow that things are instead turning around?

Nearly impossible.

But, we’ll see.

Go to bed.

*October 2020 began with a full moon on the 1st.  It will end with another full moon on the 31st.  On November 3rd, it will be a slightly waning gibbous moon... still close to being full.

At the time of writing, the moon, that was full on the 1st has already waned to a half moon... which means that the election is less than one lunation away. We will be at new moon on the 16th, and after that... the ever growing crescent will count down the nights to D-day.

It’s coming fast, and the poll results now... and the events that transpire now... mean everything for the outcome.

And nobody and nothing... can halt the moon in it’s phases. 

[httpsung]

Seeing Day6 Live | #Day6inDet

!!Warning!! Long post ahead

Excuse me for being mushy and lame..

Honestly being able to watch Day6 perform live is a magical experience. Seeing Day6 in person.. it’s crazy the amount of emotions I felt the moment these five men walked onto that stage, it was insane. I really wish that all MyDays who really love and appreciate Day6 will be able to experience them live even if it’s just once. I’m wishing everyone the best of luck because it’s nothing like seeing your favorite people right in front of you...

October 27, 2017 was literally the best day of my life this year. It was surreal and I find my self at times throughout the day thinking “Did it really happen?” I’m going to discuss what I could recall from last night. I might post more stuff about the fanmeet later on but this it’s what’s refresh on my mind right now.

So the moment 8pm hit, the time the show was suppose to start the crowd started chanting “Day6!” over and over but the show still didn’t start and so the crowd went through all of the guys names starting with “Brian” Literally the entire venue minus me was like “Brian, Brian” but I’m like it’s YOUNG K, soon they went from Brian to Young K and it seemed to be a chanting war of both his names back and forth lol followed by everyone else’ s names.

Anyways the intro video started and Dowoon was the first person to walk out on stage and take a seat at his drums and BOY that’s when my heart started to race and I was like OH FUCK this is happening, he’s gorgeous he’s really there. Then followed Wonpil, Young K ( I think Wonpil came out before Young K I could be wrong forgive me I was trying not to loose my shit ) Jae, and last but definitely not least Sungjin. LET ME FUCKING TELL YOU when Sungjin walked out MY KNESS GOT WEAK I LITERALLY TURNED AND HELD ON TO THE BACK OF MY SEAT BECAUSE I WAS NOT READY. I was in Section 2, row L Literally right in front of where he stands on stage so he’s all I can see ( So I’m like 12 rows away from the stage? Something like that.. ) BUT ISTG Sungjin’s eyes sparkled like I’m not super close to him but I can see his eyes shining from where I’m sitting AND I shit you not I almost died.

So they performed I Wait first, I thought I was ready, I’ve watched the livestreams of the other shows before Detroit so I knew the setlist and what to get prepared for BUT YOU CANNOT PREPARE YOURSELF FOR DAY6 AT ALL. They started playing and it was so hype from start to finish, then they went on to Hunt and I’m sure most of you know the rest of the songs played before they actually sat down but even before that they kind said a few words??

Anyways the fanmeet portion began. The host came out and the translator the boys got seats and introduced themselves and I’m sorry I was one of those people who let out a louder than usual scream when Sungjin spoke like I cheered pretty loud for the other boys BUT come on... my bias introduced himself I didn’t even expect that sound to leave my throat.

So after introductions they answered some questions y’know when they pick a question a fan has asked them.. I was in awe with how adorable they were, how genuinely nice they seem and just wow I really appreciate them.

After that came a game of Bingo and I was like OH this is new because I think we’re the only stop that got the Bingo game. If I remember correctly LA & NYC had the preference game and Austin had the Wiii Boxing.

They played Bingo and if they got bingo they could draw five raffle tickets and whichever fan had that matching ticket would get a prize. They all drew one and matched with a fan, my heart was about to explode because I wanted to be picked but I also didn’t want them to see me I’m weird LMAO. I WAS LITERALLY ONE NUMBER OFF WHEN DOWOON WAS CALLING OUT HIS BOYYY. Anyways it was funny because Young K drew a ticket and no one had it so he looked sad then he had to draw again and looked happy when he finally got someone lol.

OH btw Sungjin danced to Gashina due to the number he chose for Bingo ( I forgot to mention they had to do a task that was hidden behind the number they chose ) Jae created an impromptu song AND LORD JESUS BLESS HIS VOICE, Young K’s task had everyone involved and everyone of them had to strike a pose from the option that came up which happened to be MICHAEL JACKSON so they had to do an MJ posed and Young K failed lol. Dowoon had to do a mystery box and touch something without seeing it and guess what it was THAT POOR BABY HAD TO TOUCH AN ALLIGATOR/CROCODILE IT WAS ONE OF THOSE AND I WAS LIKE OH SHIT (idk if it was truly real tho) when he realized what it was he jumped, he was cute.

Wonpil’s task was to eat a lemon and try to whistle afterward, he was cute.. I barely heard the whistle but we were all like YEAH HE WHISTLED GIVE HIM THE POINT.

This might be out of order but I remember Jae saying some really nice and encouraging stuff and talking about how he got the Kpopstar audition and that he was a political science major in college WOW.

I remember someone was like “Preach Jae” and he was so hype like ‘I’M GONNA PREACH” lmao I love him.

After the games were over they told us how we will enjoy music for the rest of the time.

SUNGJIN’S “BAND IS MUSIC” I ALMOST SHED A TEAR

They left the stage and showed the video of them in Detroit, SUNGJIN’S CUT and wow it was nice ;-;

AFTER that they came back on stage and performed You Were Beautiful and I wanted to cry on the floor but didn’t.

At the end when they did freely, I was already in the aisle and Jae did his signature jump off the stage and walk into the center thing and that’s when I got closer too and BOY what a performer... DAY6 ARE A BUNCH OF AMAZING PERFORMERS.

It all ended after that unless you had p2 hi-touch and I did... and that’s when my anxiety kicked in a little I was so nervous, I knew it was going to be a quick process because when is hi-touch ever lengthy? but I was AKJSKSKDLFLFG;GK my best friend was like you wanna go before me and I was like GIRL NO LMAO I’M ABOUT TO RUN AWAY. Our row was up  to walk on stage and here it goes, where my life was about to end.

Dowoon was first, very friendly! At first it was hard to take him in,  it was hard to take all of them in at the moment and their little actions. He was sort of leaning on the table and he really didn’t high-five but kinda grabbed my hand a little and was like “Hello, thank you!” I said thank you in return my voice was really small and high-pitched BECAUSEI WAS NOT READY FOR THIS. Next was Wonpil.... WONPIL INTIMIDATED ME SO MUCH GUYS OH MY GOD, HIS GAZE WAS STRONG AND I COULDN’T REALLY MAKE OUT HIS EXPRESSION BUT HE WAS ALSO REALLY HANDSOME, HIS FACE IS CHISELD BY THE GODS WTF Wonpil increased my nerves but his voice was so nice when he said “Hi and thank you” Next was Young K and istg I remember nothing but his smile, he was all teeth it was THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SMILE.

THEN HERE WE GO PARK SUNGJIN... MFING SUNGJIN... GRABBED MY HAND IT WAS KINDA AGRESSIVELY SOFT LIKE IS THAT EVEN A THING BUT THAT’S THE BEST WAY I CAN DESCRIBE IT. Sungjin seemed really thrilled like so bubbly, He said “Thank you for coming” and I said it back though I wanted to say I love you, I wanted to say that to all of them but I choked.

ISTG I’M NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE BIASED but his grip on my hand lingered and I was crying in my head. I was so stunned about everything that Jae ALMOST became a blur I say almost because I was like still trying to process Sungjin and our hand separating that when Jae ALSO grabbed my hand and leaned into my view and JESUS CHRIST HE’S SO PRETTY He was like “Ayeee, thanks for coming” I did say thank you but oh my god I was not ready for Sungjin or Jae... HI TOUCH WAS A SHORT SPECIAL EXPERIENCE BUT WITH JAE AND SUNGJIN INTERACTING WITH THEM STOOD OUT THE MOST WITH ME

Afterward we exited the venue I was still stunned like did that all happen??? I kept saying stuff like that all the way to my airbnb with my best friend and then when we made it to the front door everything I had been feeling throughout the whole show and hi-touch came out of me at once and I started crying akskdlf

I never expected to fall so hard for Day6, they’re amazing, they make amazing music... there’s not a single song I dislike. I love how hard working they are and I love how hard they’ve worked this year giving their fans their all. I’ve been a solid fan for 6 1/2 months  and honestly stanning them is one of the best decisions I’ve made in my life, they’re literally like home, the MyDay fandom is one of the best with such kind people and I’m grateful to be able to experience loving Day6 with them.

I HAVE A LOT OF FEELS SO I’M GOING TO STOP BEING LAME AND END THIS NOW IF YOU READ THIS ALL WOW YOU THE MVP

Anyways I do have videos hardly no picture because I’m a video kind of gal so I will be posting a few soon, once I go through them all lol and stuff.

[dankcranks]

100% serious. It'll help me get out of my own head, too. I've had a kinda blehhh day

same here friendo

putting this under a cut cause it’ll be long

☝ - How tall are you? - fun story for years i thought i was 5′7 cause that was the height the last time i was measured at my doctor’s office in my late teens, but they measured me “just to see” the last time i was there, and i’m 5′8???? the last few years of my life has been a lie

✔ - Sexual Orientation - ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ still trying to figure this out tbh. def pansexual, probably panromantic but also possibly on the grey spectrum??? i value platonic relationships over romantic ones, but do still have the ability to have romantic attractions towards others (although it’s rare) and idk what that means

🚬 - Do you Smoke? i used to a lot a lotttt but nowadays it’s only when i’m with friends that smoke and can bum one off of them (cause i’m incapable of making good choices when it comes to my health)

🍷 - Do you Drink? - yes, but rarely and generally only socially 

♒ - Do you Take Drugs? - prescription yes. but similarly to smoking, i used to smoke a lot a lotttt of weed but now only do when i’m hanging with the person in my life that smokes regularly

😳 - Age you get mistaken for? - honestly idek. late teens? people are always suspeeshy of me when they id me and see my birth year, and i feel like i look like a teenage boyo which isn’t helped by my shit skin

💉 - Have Tattoos? - ocarina of time style ganondorf and skull kid (with the mask you give him on) on my left upper arm, the chorus of hilf mir fliegen by tokio hotel on my back, and schwester on my foot (for my sister)

✏️ - Want any tattoos? - oh hell yes i have like a backlog of tattoos i want

✂️ - Got any Piercings? - snakebites, industrial, rook, lobes x3

✌ - Want any piercings? - occasionally i think about a nose ring, but nah, i’m happy with the ones i have

👌 - Best friend? - i live with one of them, and the other lives on the other side of canada :’)

♥ - Do you like anyone? - lmao nah

🎤 - Top 5 favorite bands? - KSJHDSAK kay i’m putting these in no particular order, cause it’s hard enough limiting it just to five, let alone determine a favourite. also this is subject to change at any given moment. twenty one pilots, weezer, alexisonfire, linkin park(💔), one direction anD HAHAHAHA I’M COUNTING THEIR SOLO CAREERS AS PART OF THIS FIGHT ME

🎶 - Top 5 favorite songs? - this is even fucking worse than trying to limit my top five bands alfhdalfhlsjdkf i’m gonna go with the top five songs that i currently keep listening to on repeat (again, no particular order)top - addict with a pensleeping at last - saturnniall horan - seeing blind ft maren morristop - a car, a torch, a deathpale waves - television romance

😒 - Biggest pet peeve? - forgetting about plans (i literally do nothing with my life so like, when i make plans with someone, i'm really really looking forward to it)

📝 - Story from your childhood. - so when we got our family cat, i really wanted to call her cookie. but my mom decided on sophie, and i was highkey offended because i wanted a cute non human name like cookie??? but it’s hilarious now, because i only name animals by human names

💬 - I wish… - i wish i could afford to have more cats in my life

‼️ - Something you’ll change? - ...the amount of cats in my life

💦 - What makes you horny? - i literally had to finish these questions and come back to this lmao. physically, arms and nice hair i guess. otherwise, jfc idk, i’ma go real lame and say personality. idk how the fuck i get turned on okay, it just happens sometimes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

🌟 - A wish you’ll wish for? - m o r e  c a t s  i n  m y  l i f e

🔥 - Something spicy you like? - fuckIN INDIAN FOOD (i’m eating some curry i made right now lmao) shoutout to other east asian spicy foods

👃 You hate the smell of …. - idk fertilizer

👊 - Something you hate? - myself lmao #relatable am i rite

🚶 - Are you single? - yup

💬 - Can we text? - i have no idea who you are

💌 - Fan mail me? - again, i have no idea who you are

💍 - Marry me? - i literalLY DON’T KNOW WHO THIS IS 

💘 - Be my tumblr crush? - ^^^^^^^^^^^^

💭 - Favorite foods? - indian foods, bagels, cereal, ramen, sushi

☀ - Story about your day. - my cat tomi is having one of those days where he decides he’s going to be a gigantic piece of shit. he keeps coming over to me and yelliNG, reaching up to my desk and trying to knock things off. he keeps trying to get in fights with the other cat too. currently, i can hear him getting up to shit in the living room

💘 - Top 5 celebrity crushes? kay so there aren’t enough “celebrities” of sorts that i have that traditional celeb crush on that set my loins ablaze SO here have a list of celebrities that my ass will stan until the day i die because of their raw talent and for the way they treat those around them: tyler joseph, harry styles, uhhhh, josh dun, louis tomlinson, niall horan

🎥 - Top 5 favorite movies? ah fuck. spirited away, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, and i’d be doing my child self a disservice if i didn’t include the nightmare before christmas, ace ventura when nature calls, and fantasia (the three movies that truly shaped me as a person)

📺 - Top 5 favorite TV shows? - i’m about to expose my nerd ass lmao. in no particular order - avatar the last airbender, dragonball z, card captor sakura, battlestar galactica (the 2004 remake also this just reminded me it’s been a while since my last rewatch *heavy breathing*), and, uh, idk, mr bean?

✏ - Random fact about yourself. - am very musically inclined. percussion instruments is my home (piano included in this, cause it’s a percussion instrument thanks)

✈️ - Where are you from? - canada, north of toronto

🚀 - Where do you wanna visit? - germany and more of canada

😍 - Do you have a crush? - lmao no

😷 - Something you hate eating? - fuck kay i’m actually a really picky eater and because i’ve been working around it for years i always forget what foods i hate. uhh. turnips?

🙈 - What makes you shy? - people, but that’s directly related to my social anxiety ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

💃 - Can you dance? - i mean, i CAN, but is it any good? no

💏 - Do you love anyone? - YEEE i love my friends and family (animals count as family)

👟 - Favorite shoe(s) to wear? - i finally got real converse and i  l o v e  t h e m

🌴 - A island you would visit? - when it comes to like, traditional island type things, that’s like, warm places, and i’m not particularly a fan of warm places. like beachy vacation places? nah fam. so like, the kinds of islands i’d want to visit would be countries like japan or ireland

🌎 - A country you would visit? - g e r m a n y

🌀 - Favorite type of weather? - fall, when the leaves aren’t green anymore and some have fallen, and it’s a little windy, and it’s the kind of temperature where you go out in the morning with a jacket, but in the afternoon don’t really need the jacket

🔮 - Do you believe in luck? - kinda?

📱 - What kinda phone do you have? - i literally just bought my roomie’s old lg g4 off him

📅 - Favorite time of the year? - fuckin october because fall and SPOOP SEASON

📚 - Career goal you want? - ...lmao. one that lets me afford to adopt mature cat babes to love and care for

🍴 - Favorite food(s) to eat? i immediately wanna say indian, but i feel like it’s biased cause i’m eating it right now

🍭 - Favorite Candy? - probs sour patch kids

🍇 - Favorite fruits? - bananas? apples? kiwi?????

🚘 - Dream car(s)? - a functioning car that is one solid colour

🚔 - Have you ever been arrested? - nah but i’ve been in cahoots with the law for dumb shit

🚑 - Have you ever driven in an ambulance before? - this question is phrased weird and it’s making my brain fucky. but i’ve been taken somewhere in an ambulance before, yes

🎫 - Do you have a license? - yee i have my full driving license as well as my boating license (lol)

🚼 - Do you have or want kids? - nO only animal frens

🔞 - Are you under 18? - nah

🐶 - Do you own a pet? - ngl i don’t like the phrasing of “owning a pet” buT i do live with animal babes that are under my care :3

😔 - Something that makes you sad? - thinkin about all the animal babes at animal shelters that don’t get adopted cause they’re not babies or they’re a little broken D8

😡 - What pisses you off? - boy howdy that’s a loaded question. lets go with a nice blanket response of “the state of the world”

😏 - What turns you on? - go back to the horny one

😈 - Are you a freak? - this is a very subjective question. to normies? yeah. in the sheets? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

💪 - Do you work out? - like bimonthly when i decide i’m gonna look after myself better lol  

[justharuthings]

2019.

2019 was a year of firsts and lasts.

Looking back, I realized it is one of those years wherein I got to experience A LOT of things.

During the first few months of 2019, I was on my last stretch of my thesis. I was taking up Design 10 at that time. I swear, taking individual thesis is HARD. Maybe some of you prefer to work on their thesis alone to prevent conflicts between members, or to avoid having to argue with a member regarding ideas, or if ever some are not helping in the group. Well actually, I prefer that too, sometimes. But as an Architecture student, individual thesis is draining ㅡ physically, emotionally and financially (lol, ngl).

I cannot forget the day of our final defense. It was the most nerve-wracking experience for me because I have been always worrying about it because I am scared of speaking in front of others, but things happen …. and thesis, defended!

To be very honest, there were times wherein I want to give up, but I’m thankful for my friends. We kept on cheering and motivating each other that WE CAN finish this. I cannot forget those times wherein we were staying in our house, doing our thesis (which was actually during holy week) and suddenly, one of us were crying! Like, out of nowhere, she was crying, and we saw it and of course, we knew why, and we all started breaking down too, as well. How I miss those times...

We had our final defense on April 27 which was a Saturday and on the following day, April 28, I planned to meet my Inspirit friends to celebrate my defense and also to watch Avengers: Endgame. Luckily, a Sunggyu cup sleeve event is being held in Zoo Café at SM Megamall which is actually organized by one of our friends. So, we went there before and after watching Avengers. It was my first time attending a cup sleeve event here in the Philippines. I was actually wishing for more cup sleeve events, but little did I know that, that was the start… hahahahaha!

Then, months after, came our graduation day! I can say, it is the highlight of everyone’s college life. You walk up the stage, shake hands with your institute dean, and then receive your diploma. It was 5-years’ worth of tears, laughter ㅡ it was a roller-coaster of emotions.

Those past 5 years spent in college made me who I am today. I have learned how to be independent. I was staying in a dormitory since my first year of college until my last year. I learned how to budget my allowance well. Also, balancing my time between acads and fangirling. Hahaha!

5 years is indeed a long time, but I am happy to have met such amazing people throughout my entire stay. I will surely miss each and everyone of them, but I know, and I believe, that we will all be successful in our chosen field.

Moving on, I started looking for job weeks after graduation while, some of my friends went back to their provinces to have a vacation first. In my case, I only had around 2-3 weeks of rest? And I used that time to catch up with One Piece and all the other series I had to postpone watching because of my thesis. 

I swear, the waiting period after sending a resume to a company can make you go nuts. I mean, that is where your patience will be tested. I went to few interviews before I got in and started working around third week of August.

Before the end of the third quarter, I went to #UPALLNIGHTinManila. It was my first concert for this year, 2019. We were upgraded to Floor from Balcony Center. That night ended with a hi-touch event! We got to high five all the members and it was indeed a memorable night for me.

My second cup sleeve event for the year but, my first cup sleeve event for Day6! I actually thought I wouldn’t be able to attend this event because, Jae and my brother actually have the same birthday. So, I thought I’m spending the 15th of September at home but guess what? I made it to the event.

I literally spent that weekend celebrating birthdays. My brother’s birthday is actually on a Sunday, but we celebrated it the night before and after that, I went straight to my friend’s house to also celebrate hers. Good thing my friend’s house is actually just around Quezon City, so I was actually close to the venue.

Indeed, I had fun celebrating Jae’s birthday with my co-mydays! I wasn’t even expecting to be called in the raffle, but I went home with a Remember Us album! Hahaha! There were lots of freebies given on that day. We even met a new friend (finally, a sungjin stan haha), it was nice meeting new mutuals!

On to the last quarter of the year!

My first X1 cup sleeve event, but my third one for this year! I went to this event with Siege and my cousin, Ate Anne. The venue was actually crowded! Well, it was a small one, but there were lots of Oneits gathering inside so, it was jampacked. But it was a fun day! I met and made new friends in that event. But to our surprise, most of the attendees were still in senior high and college hahaha! I feel so old (lol).

Moving on, our squad planned a staycation on the last weekend of October. We rented out an Airbnb near SM North. We were lucky enough to find a beautiful one! It was like a hotel to be honest! Everything we can find inside is free! Even the coffee is from Starbucks and there is a French press available in the room. But the best part here was the large smart TV! We were playing MVs, reality shows non-stop!  

It was a tiring, but fun weekend spent with these people!

We were sleep deprived because of the intense round of Jenga! We actually stayed up till morning because of the game hahaha! The game itself was so intense but we were more focused because our biases are on the line.

Actually, we have planned this staycation way before an as far as I can remember, the only cup sleeve event we were supposed to attend was Yunseong’s, but I don’t know, this happened....

I thought I wouldn't be able to attend Seunghyub’s cup sleeve event because I have prior schedule at that time and I thought it already ended but as we were walking in the mall, we came across a café and I saw the TV was playing N.Flying music videos so I wondered why then I realized that the event is being held there!

On our last day of stay, we went out to attend Yunseong’s cup sleeve event happening on Flamingo Bloom at SM North. It was our first Woollimz cup sleeve event! Actually, this was the only event we were supposed to attend during our staycation, but we met a friend in the event and told us that there’s also an event happening at Lost Bread, still in SM North. It was an event for Eunsang and Wooseok. So, we went there after lunch then went back to Yunseong’s event.

An addition to my list of firsts this year, I attended a christening for the first time! It was Lyle’s christening. I actually went as a proxy to my cousin, Ate Anne, which was not around the country at the time. Ate JL was the first one in our circle of friends to have a baby and we were happy that we were invited. It was also our first time that our group meet in Cavite hahaha!

The four of us, together with Ate Dee, booked a place to stay for 3 days and 2 nights because we are actually going to have a reunion with our friend from Australia, Ate Nica! We spent the Friday night catching up while strolling around Araneta. On the following day, was DAY6’s concert.

#DAY6GRAVITYinMNL

I can say, this is one of the highlights of my 2019? My second concert for this year, and my second time seeing DAY6! I don’t know, but what I felt from that night seems surreal. It felt like I have become more closer to DAY6 ㅡ a step closer than before. It’s like my relationship with DAY6 grows deeper and deeper each year.

As expected in a Day6 concert, it always exceeds your expectation! It became an unforgettable night especially to PH MyDays because JAE CRIED.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling 22!”

To conclude, this year was indeed a year of firsts and lasts. 2019 taught me lot of things. I am thankful to everyone I have met throughout the year. I will surely cherish all those moments spent with the people close to me. I can't wait to see were 2020 takes me!

Thank you, next!

[aliciamillergarcia]

bennett-miller​:

***

“What kind of husband do you take me for? You’re getting top dollar coffee pods. I’m talking order it online kind of expensive. Nothing else is acceptable.” He would always get her the best of the best, even if it were nothing more than coffee that they were joking about. If she wanted a tall cup of freshly brewed perfection after birth, he’d be there ready and waiting, or he’d make someone else do it for him. “I guess it’s just hard if I’m being honest. I didn’t realize how much you were going to have to give up until it happened. I feel like it’s unfair of me to complain about anything when you’re the one carrying our baby and can’t have coffee and a whole list of other things.” He was a kind soul, one that felt empathy on an entirely different level. “October seems forever away when you look at it on the calendar, but then I think about it and it seems like it’s right around the corner.” He was ready and excited, but also unprepared and terrified of what having a baby in the Miller-Garcia home would even look like. They could do it, he was sure, but it didn’t make it any less scary. “You really think so? I think that’s probably the ultimate goal. Make chief and just enjoy it.” There were policies that he could already see himself updating and changing, but he couldn’t get ahead of himself. Chief was a long way from where he was, but he was patient man. “If you don’t beat me to it though.” He liked the idea of his wife being in power; she was a good doctor and one hell of a leader. If anyone could be a good chief one day, it was definitely her.

“What are the odds they’ll sleep through the night? I think my mother would probably say I was the perfect baby, but what about you? You stayed up, didn’t you?” It was more of a playful question than anything, but wondered which one of them the baby would be more like. He’d been quiet, easily satisfied, and overall a happy child. With any luck, the baby would follow in his steps. “There’s a list,” he hummed, brows rising in amusement. He wanted to mark out as many things as he could before they got any closer to the due date, whenever that was. “I haven’t, but I’m willing to try it. Can’t be any worse than whatever we tried to watch that one time. I can’t even remember the name of it.”

.

“The best husband in the whole wide world,” she teased him with a smirk, even if that was truly what she thought of him. Despite the bumps in their road and the crack in their marriage, she still thought that of him and would continue to do so. “You’re really making me look forward to that cup now,” she admitted, mouth already watering at the thought of how delicious it would taste. “It’s just temporary for our baby’s sake. It’s not fun, true, but I’ll be able to have them again in a few months’ time. So you go ahead and keep enjoying those things for the two of us, and then I will have my share once the little one is safe with us,” she assured him with the most comforting smile she could muster. “It’s a bit more than four months. Might not seem like a lot but time feels like its dragging on and on until then. But we’re almost halfway there!” She announced with an enthusiastic grin. Halfway through the journey towards their child. Even if they had missed the first few weeks, the little one kept growing and growing. Even if their arrival would mean a radical change in their lives, she could not wait for it. The anticipation until she knew with certainty that the baby was happy and healthy, safe in her arms, would only keep building up during the coming weeks. “Chief Miller has a wonderful ring to it. You’d be one great chief, just saying. Once again I am not being biased by saying that. It’s just the honest truth.” She could certainly picture him in that position, filling in the shoes of their current chief with ease. Ben was a fair and just leader, with bright ideas that would undoubtedly benefit everyone in the hospital. It was certainly something he deserved. “Me? Chief? That’s highly unlikely. Head of the Emergency Department would be more than enough for me.”

“If they’re anything like me, it’s zero to none. I was the textbook definition of a night owl according to Mami and Papi. I’d want to stay up all night drinking milk and playing but sleep was always limited to a nap lasting a few minutes at most.” She truly hoped the baby would be like their father in that regard. Her parents were certainly not too pleased with her tendency to stay awake at night. She rolled her eyes playfully at his comment, chuckling softly as she did. “Of course there’s a list. I have one for everything,” she joked. Her notes app on her phone was full of lists of things they needed to get and do, and she was enjoying striking things off it even if most things could wait for now. “I heard someone at work saying it’s good, so we could give it a try. If it’s anything like the last one, we will not subject ourselves to the torture of watching it and we’ll stop it immediately.”

[insugarush]

Prelude Part II: Wings Tour in Seoul 18th & 19th February 2017---The Process

Masterlist

Prelude Part I

Prelude Part II: Wings Tour in Seoul 18th & 19th February 2017

Part 2: The Process: Bias, Accommodation, Permission, Tickets, Visa, Letters—In that order!

Now that I was an established and a very public Army (my family couldn't fathom my obsession—they still don't—but it was no secret) like everybody else, I was devouring the endless content BTS and BigHit keep us happy with, constantly. 24/7. They would make my day brighter. Bring a smile to my face. Make me laugh out loud. Make me tear up. All in front of my laptop. YouTube was my new best friend and I carried around electronics wherever I went because come on—it becomes an addiction and you start getting withdrawal symptoms when you go even a day without them! I am not the fan-girling type, but boy oh boy, did BTS convert me and convert me hard! They have this special gift of making each and every one feel so up close and personal with them. I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking this..they brought out this protectiveness in me that I only reserve for my closest and bestest friends. I wished the best for them, wished to protect them, wished to do things to help them.

I was so upset when I came across that video of RapMon and Yoongi being dissed by Bfree or whoever the hell he was.

Lets not even talk about Flower Boy Crew or whatever, one look at Kookie’s face on an article that spoke about his mistreatment and I refused to watch it.

It still makes my blood boil. Sometimes, I stay up thinking of ways to exact revenge on those assholes, excuse my French. Ugh. Anyway. Moving on.

What I’m trying to say is, the connection was real and intense and unbreakable right from the get go.

Lets take a moment to talk about biases because it's a rite of passage isn’t it? One has a bias. One loves all 7 babies equally, but one always, always, always has a bias that makes one’s knees weak. It may come as a surprise to you (my name is insugarush after all), but my chosen bias within the first few weeks of being a newborn Army was Jungkook.

He was cute and his moves mesmerized me and there were endless videos about how adorable he is and also contradictingly manly and oh-so-talented and he likes Noonas (yayy small victory there) The Golden Maknae had caught my attention and I was pretty sure that would be it. I remember being annoyed at Suga while watched Summer Package thinking “Why is he so lazy” “why is he so sleepy and grumpy” “Jungkook is so cool” “He hardly even has footage”

This was before, of course, I knew about how hard he worked and all his issues. All older Armys will remember Suga used to get little footage earlier even in variety shows as compared to the rest of the boys, probably because in the pre AgustD era he used to be more reserved and just generally more quiet and not this funny, spontaneous, carefree, fun person we see today (touch wood) (may God always keep him this happy and give him more and more reasons to be with every passing day)

But this is what I tell people. I didn't choose Yoongi, Yoongi chose me. Much like life and fate and other small, inexplicable things that ultimately come together to form the bigger picture. I don't know how it happened, during which show or concert or bomb, but way before the BST comeback, suddenly, my radar picked up on Yoongi. I couldn't look past Yoongi. Everyone else faded into the background and it was just Yoongi Yoongi Yoongi for me. All his charms came to the forefront and suddenly the same videos I watched and got annoyed at earlier now became super-duper cute and I just entered this black hole and just…you get the point. He destroyed me. Ruined me for life. It was 2 weeks of Jungkook and then Yoongi was like “bitch look at me” and I was a goner. He STOLE my heart people. STOLE it. And now its his forever. <sigh>

Sliding into my bias list like.

Anyway. I had made up my mind. BTS was true love. I had to see it till the end. The moment even just the rumours started circulating about their world tour, I promised myself I would attend one of their concerts. I promised myself I would make it work somehow! Do what it takes. Go wherever it’s easiest to get permission. I think that was still around their comeback sometime in October, because there was no official announcement yet.

Once it was announced the easiest target for me was LA. I had family there and visa, and also a fellow Army cousin sister, so it was literally just about booking the flight and getting the concert tickets, everything else would be taken care of, and my parents would be satisfied. This happened on 19th November. As expected it was easy to get permission from my family, and I got super-duper excited because I really thought this is gonna happen! What I didn’t expect was issues cropping from my family there..it seemed they wouldn't be around at that time etc etc…my heart was broken people. Into a million tiny pieces. Its one thing knowing you can never go, but another getting so close to going, seeing literally everything work out, and then having to cut out that dream and throw it away again. My family tried to make me feel better saying there would be a next time and there are so many concerts to come but I was sad. For exactly 2 days. Lol.

Like I said, I don’t give up. For a moment, I considered trying for Newark. Same country, different coast, but I had friends so it might work. Worth a shot! I was desperate. I just didn’t want to give up. The next day I got talking to another cousin whose in Dubai and we decided amongst ourselves that it was now or never. Forget anywhere else, we MUST go to Seoul for this. There would be more concerts, true, but this in particular was a special one! This one had all the boys’ solos and it was a next step, the end of one era and the beginning of a new one and the first concert was in Seoul. We must go. And it HAS to be Seoul because we have noticed the level of interaction the boys have with KArmys (obviously because of no language barrier—though int Armys get their own perks in their concerts)

21st November I booked accommodation online on my credit card. I didn't tell a soul, just me and my cousin, without permission, without tickets, flight OR concert—just pure faith that I need to make this work. The only thing on my mind was---people will flood the city and even if we get permission and tickets and visa, maybe there would be no room for us in Seoul because everything would be sold out! Lol. The mind is funny when it panics. Of course the whole city wouldn't have been sold out! It was a BTS Concert, not Olympics! But in my mind it was just as big, if not bigger.

I made sure I booked rooms that can be paid at a later date, took a wild guess at the dates (we had the tour dates I just booked 2 days before to 2 after) and it came down to $1000 for 2 rooms, max 5 people. Not a bad deal if you do the math!

Permission. Now this was a whole other ordeal. If most of you reading this are from India, like me, then you know this is not normal yet. Letting your daughter travel all the way to another part of the world just for a concert, to watch 7 boys you don’t know of, just doesn’t happen! All I can say is, I worked hard people. I concentrated on not making my parents angry. Doing whatever they wanted. Missed out on things I wanted to do so that I do what they want of me. When I was in sufficiently good books, broke the news to them that this was the goal I was working towards. I’m not the type to ask my parents for things, they could see how badly I wanted this. “No way” my dad had said. “I am not sending you to another country alone just with another cousin sister.” He did get convinced finally when I added desperately that my cousin’s mom might be joining us too (she had no plans but it sort of became a conditional permission) I promised him I would pay for my accommodation, concert tickets and any expenses on my own. All I need from him is permission and air tickets. Lol. This is how we compromise people! I didn’t dare breathe a word about how I had gone ahead and booked accommodation without his knowledge. What he doesn't know won’t hurt him! :P  

Concert Tickets. This made me cry. I am not kidding. This was the most stressful part of this entire ordeal. I kept reminding myself how much I love BTS and how this will all be worth it in the end. I give 100% credit to my cousin sister, who btw, hadn't even taken permission from her own folks yet, but worked with everything she’s got to secure tickets.

First we tried the normal way. The date and time were out, the website was in Korean, but still accessible. I got one of my best friends who also happens to be a Korean to help me out. She lives in New York but she agreed to wake up at 4am to book our tickets for us..I filled her in (“BTS? Now who are they? Are you over Kim Hyun Joong? Park Bo Gum too? Good Lord you are not faithful”) We did a trial run before the actual day of booking. We navigated the page, downloaded the app, etc etc. We decided the 3 of us would try and book together from India, Dubai and New York, and whoever gets through, great! I had heard horror stories about tickets being sold out in minutes and didn’t want to risk it. I was fully aware that I would cancel all my plans if I didn’t get tickets.

On the day of the tickets opening up for sale to the general public, I was traveling. In the middle of nowhere. Somewhere around Mysore Palace to be exact. Everyone reading this from India knows we are not that lucky with internet, specially on the highways atop mountains, but I was carrying my stuff. We were out with another family and everyone was very hyped about this. One of the boys had asked me, “Who ARE these people that you’re going all the way to Korea to see?” I am proud to say I made an Army fanboy right there once I made him listen to Fire and then Dope. I prefer making people listen to the songs first so they don’t judge on the basis of appearances.

My throat was dry and my heart was pounding, I had everything ready—laptop, net, credit card. My friend from NY on the other phone with me, we’re all waiting for the sale to open. The minute it happened, all 3 of us on 3 laptops in 3 different corners of the world started frantically trying to buy tickets. We wanted the stands, BTS only. We all made it as far as seat selection page, but after that it just. wont. budge. For all of us! We tried and tried. I thought maybe it's the internet. I did everything I could! But the seats just wouldn't get selected. I saw the seats dwindle IN FRONT OF MY EYES. It went from 300 seats available to 150 available to 50 available to 10 available to finally---sold out. I called up New York and Dubai hoping and praying they have something—nope. Same story everywhere. I wanted to cry. I was just broken. I mean..I had done everything possible, but it just didn't happen. It dint work for all of us! At the same time! What does this even mean?!

I was so sad. Like so sad. I remember everyone trying to cheer me up, and me just reigning in my tears because we were traveling with another family. I couldn't even grieve properly. I just left that to it but refused to cancel my hotel yet. I could cancel in Feb without being charged so I just..left it. Mostly because it would break my heart to do it.

Unable to make the selection after coming this far--^

The next day we got information that some tickets are going on re-sale on the same website at midnight. AGAIN we sat. Again we got stuck at the same place. Again we saw the numbers dwindle and dwindle till they got sold out. Again. Now I was beyond frustrated. How can this happen 2 times in a row?! How have the others got their tickets?! What are we doing wrong?!

I realised too late it was probably a website thing, we should have tried the app the second day. Just didn't strike me till the tickets got sold out again right in front of my eyes! That helplessness and frustration is something I can never forget. And I felt worse when I realized the solution, just 5 minutes too late. Should have used the bloody App.

This time instead of being sad, I was filled with anger and determination. I’m gonna do this somehow, I vowed to myself. This was mid December already. My cousin sister and I started working on finding re-sellers on Twitter and on the Korean re-sale sites. We tried KoreanBuddy, koreanshoppingservice..dude I don’t even remember! I just remember a lot of Korean websites, Google Translate and Stress, that's all. We did our research, checked up blogs on how buy re-sale tickets, what to look for to find out if it's a fraud etc etc. We found a legit site called TicketBay and a bunch of people selling at insane prices ($400 for a $100 ticket) and finally decided on one seller and bought 2 tickets. This is January 10th already..the concert is a month away, and we’re still buying tickets. No one at home knows about this yet. My cousin did all the leg work..many people backed out, many people asked for payments in advance. We got lucky that the only girl we paid in advance turned out to be true, we were desperate at that point and only wanted to score tickets. I had decided even if it's a loss, it would be a secret I would take to my grave. Once we secured that, we became more relaxed. The girl was to meet us 1 day before the concert and hand over tickets, she seemed honest and sent loads and loads of proof before we took that leap of faith! I would strongly advise better decision making abilities people. We got lucky. We sent her money on PayPal, she could have turned out to be a fraud and run away with it and couldn't have been able to do jack..but again, we got lucky.

Just so you guys get a modicum of an idea about how messy this thing was:

Kind of proof to expect:

Trying our luck everywhere:

Being suspicious little bitches because come on--money!

Just an idea of how frustrating it all was:

Then we started actively working on Air Tickets and packing. Now my cousin decided to START getting permission, lol. It was much more stressful for her, she’s younger and it was a long and drawn out process, but she managed finally. Her mom and sister wanted to come along too, so that worked out for all of us! I’m glad I hadn’t cancelled my 5 seater accommodation in December! But Air ticket prices had shot up, and I ended up paying $1200 for my tickets instead of $600, which I could have if I had booked earlier. But I was waiting for at least concert tickets and my cousin to sort out her permission issues!

An idea of my packing list:

All of January was very, very stressful. Trying to find re-sellers is a pain, and trying to figure out if they are legit is even worse. Everyone had their own demands. Some we could and some we couldn't meet. Someway down the line we decided that now that we’re going all the way to Seoul to actually watch the boys, it would be a shame to just go one day. And hence the whole process of looking for more tickets re-started! Ugh. Ugly! But now that at least 1 pair was secured, we were okay with people wanting upfront payments on the day of the concerts and meeting us outside etc etc…worse comes to worst, they would ditch, but at least we would still have our money with us! One girl did ditch us btw. She suddenly stopped replying on 19th morning, on the DAY of the second concert, but thankfully my cousin had another back up contact lined up. Seriously, kudos to her! She managed the tickets on her own.

In total I ended up paying $600 for 2 tickets for both days as late as late as January 16th, that was just me. My cousin paid additional for her 2 tickets! The first pair of tickets we got delivered to my cousin’s friend in Korea, even that BigHit sent out the physical tickets so damn late (10th or 11th February I think?) that our hearts found no rest till the tickets were in our friend’s hands! We picked those for 18th up on 17th night, and additional 2 tickets with upfront payment  for the 19th also the same night. Another extra ticket 19th morning, just before we entered the arena for the second day.

A picture of the delivered ticket that finally put us at ease!

It was sticky and messy and oh-so-stressful, I just remember being constantly stressed right from December to February when I actually left. Of course worth it in the end when we got to see the boys, but I strongly recommend downloading the app and using it every damn day if you have to, just get familiar with it (Interpark) so when the time comes you are prepared about how to buy your own BTS tickets at stock price!

I’m glad I got to see the boys but I could have easily saved $1000---which would have meant that much more merchandise or maybe even an additional concert in the nearer countries if I was feeling a little too ambitious with my parents and permission! :P

We hardly had a week to go before leaving for Seoul now, and that was mostly spent in trying out outfits to pack, making itineraries (I have done extensive research guys, please ask me what you want to know, I can probably become a guide in Seoul if I want by now). I listed down things I wanted to do/places I wanted to visit/food I wanted to try, area wise in my diary. Which mode of transportation to take, which card to buy that would work on Subways---etc etc. I sort of tried taking responsibility for this because my cousin had managed all the ticketing mess more or less on her own.

So my last week was spent in that, and the fan project I randomly decided to start. Things actually fell into place so late, that by the time I initiated the fan project there was already too less time to spread the word or go about it in a more organized manner. But thanks to all the lovely, lovely Indian Armys who helped me out so much by spreading the word, sending in their letters and artwork, and even cover page for me, it worked out! I spent the last 2 days in India editing and compiling the book to BTS, I wanted it to look nice and I really, really wanted to take all your lovely words to them. Some of those letters were so touching that I remember feeling like I was intruding by even reading them. Even after I reached Seoul airport, I was working on the book, marking up the letters etc. The final result turned out really nice, actually! I will write a whole other update for that, because the sort of drama that happened there deserves a post lol.

For now, just glimpses you’ve already seen on my Twitter @insugarush:

The pages on which I printed the letters:

An array of things while compiling <omg you guys are SO talented>

The actual book..!

Soo for anyone who wants to know..this entire thing took me about 3 months of insane stress and planning and about $3000 in total, which included escalated Air Fare and Concert Tickets, Hotel Tariff, Visa and even expenses in Seoul. It's an inflated figure and I’m sure you can manage with waaay less if you are smart about your bookings!

A lot of people emailed me when they heard about me going to Seoul for the concert saying how lucky I was. Yes, maybe 1% of it was luck but trust me guys---I worked freakin hard to make this happen. Against all sorts of odds. I could have given up long ago, at the first sign of it not working out, but I kept pushing. What I want to say is…please don't feel its something that will never happen for you. Its just about charting out a way and trying your best. At least give it your best shot! Don’t give up in your head, before you even try, just because it seems impossible. If it really doesn't happen after that, no worries…at least you tried! Even I couldn't have imagined all this would work out. I think about how I was so close to going to LA or Newark---but I’m so glad I pushed for Seoul. It was the culmination of a whole lot of efforts, not just luck..

Me, finally on my way to see my boys!^

Sorry for the long post, and once again, thank you so much for your patience. I know I’m taking my own time, but I want to update properly and in detail! Sorry if this post was too long or boring, send me feedback on Twitter @insugarush and I would be happy to inculcate it in my next posts ^_^

Stay tuned!

[tobns]

Greys, for the in-depth fandom questions 😝 (I did them earlier they're fun lol)

 UGH agreed 

Top 5 favourite characters: lexie, mark, cristina, izzie, jacksonOther characters you like: meredith, callie (didn’t like her for a hot second in s7 though), arizona, addison, BAILEY THE QUEEN OF EVERYTHING, george, april, karev only in the later seasons when he grows tf upLeast favourite character: burke. get it away from me. Otps: slexie, japril, merder, calzona, alex and izzieNotps: cristina and burke, romantic izzie and george, romantic mark and callieFavourite friendship: i feel obliged to say the twisted sisters, but i really loved lexie and derek’s friendship a lot. also, callie and derek’s friendship. too fucking hilarious in s9Favourite family: the greys Favourite episode: 5x22, 6x22, or the s6 two-parter finale Favourite season/book/movie: season 6Favourite quote: either mark’s advice about love to jackson in s9 or my baby lexie when she’s like “i’m calm, i’m so calm, i’m the calmest person here.” and then twenty seconds later “BACK THE HELL UP, RIGHT NOW.” also, bailey’s speech to the nurses against mark sloan was iconic as hellMoment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: i lost my SHIT when mark came up to lexie and told her she could have a husband, i also got unparalleled chills in the s5 finale when george writes ‘007′ on meredith’s hand and she realizes who he isWhen it really disappointed you: when izzie left for what seemed like no good reason???? WHEN MARK AND CALLIE SLEPT TOGETHER. AGAIN. Saddest moment: when mark’s voice cracks when he tells lexie to stop bc she’s going to be fine, when he starts kissing her hands and telling her he loves her over and over again and his voice cracks once more, when mark sees the body bag on the plane and literally diesMost well done character death: mm, i know this is super random but probably adele webber??? literally one of the most heartbreaking and honest moments in all of s9. that and all the other character deaths were ones i couldn’t stand by Favourite guest star: leven rambin i’m biased she’s my everythingFavourite cast member: chyler leigh, eric dane, sara ramirez, ellen pompeo, kate walsh sarah drew, jesse williams, jerrika hinton, caterina scorsone….i love casts yall you can’t make me pick just one (but if i had to it’d be chyler)Character you wish was still alive: ….do i even have to say itOne thing you hope really happens: everything goes supernatural and all my babies return from the deadMost shocking twist: when george wrote 007 on mere’s hand, i’m still shook tbh. i also didn’t see the merger with mw coming so i suppose that countsWhen did you start watching/reading: october of 2016Trope you wish they would stop using: let’s all just not communicate our wishes and desires before we run off and get married and then fight until we’re blue in the face over it!!! also, everyone leaving and dyingOne thing this show/book/film does better than others: knowing when to bring in new characters and how to make sure you fall in love with the newbies and have them grow on you before they (shonda) start to subtract and addFunniest moments: i’ll limit this to a few if i can–6x03 when lexie goes insane and mark is like why god why me, mark’s reaction when he finds out the blonde he’s hitting on is lexie, meredith confronting lexie in the shower and lexie’s like MERE I’M NAKED AND IN THE SHOWER, george and istan, cristina losing her shoe and no one else seeming to care, cristina when she sees owen and grabs meredith and they take off runningCouple you would like to see: slexie. sorry i’m not sorry.Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: i have literally no idea…i want kim raver back if that counts for anything??Most boring plotline: all of season 4 i don’t know herBest flashback/flashfoward if any: the mark flashbacks in 9x01, and all of 9x02 since it’s pretty much a flashbackMost layered character: ameliaScariest moment: s6 finale my heart was in my assGrossest moment: anything to do with eyes, i can’t stomach it and that’s why i couldn’t like julia was bc OPHTHALMOLOGIST EYES NOPE CAN’T DO ITBest looking male: eric dane or jesse williamsBest looking female: chyler leigh (esp as a blonde, hallelujah amen) or addison montgomeryWho you’re crushing on (if any): i mean…have you seen who they castMost beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): the mark/lexie kiss in adrift and at peaceUnanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: HOW ONE MINUTE ALL THE INTERNS ARE THERE AND THEN NEXT IT’S LIKE OH LOL ONLY ONE OF YOU IS LEFTAt what point did you fall in love with this show/book: um, one episode in. i knew i was a goner after the train crashed