silvanoir

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Sometimes I'll find myself inexplicably drawn to pretty things that are black, grey, white and purple...

Then I remember, oh yeah, Ace flag. Though I liked that color combo before I even knew of it... maybe before there was a flag. Ace intuition or something...

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Some ideas for the mini grey BJD @queenofsquids sent me :D

I want to buy new nylon hair for the other dolls, and I still have to plan out what they'll look like. But I actually have black nylon hair from a failed project a while back and this would be a good opportunity to use it!

I was thinking to do a natural horse pattern, like a pinto or dappled colors. I don't want to paint over the grey entirely, it'll just chip way too much, but if I place it strategically I can get some nice patterns. And I can keep the clothes minimal to show off the doll underneath and just have fun with the paint and wig primarily.

[silvanoir]

Wed, Nov 20th, 2024

Arggghh I'm in so much pain. Work was a literal nightmare. I lost feeling in my right arm because there was so much stuff that we went several hours into overtime (not helped by the fact there was a hazmat spill of flammable liquid that we had to evacuate for... wait for the fire dept to clean up... then go back in). Tomorrow will be a nightmare too, since we couldn't even process it all.

Was confronted by angry customers on the way out. Sorry, you're probably not getting your box. Sorry, I don't care if you drove all the way from Kansas to do a job today and need that one part and paid for next day shipping.... I'm just a warehouse worker with increasing nerve damage for whom this job is killing me, take it up with the manager!

Was Boyfriend's first day back in work after getting out of the hospital too. Just his luck.

Glad we decided to celebrate Thanksgiving early last night after I picked him up from the hospital. Made turkey breast (pre-brined and seasoned from the supermarket, just had to cook it in the oven), roast vegetables and stuffing. He made the stuffing and it was extra delicious because he used a whole stick of butter (he did spend his childhood in the south). He washed the dishes too.

He might have his problems but he's a man who cooks and cleans without complaint, without having to be nagged! It was one of the things that back when we were just friends that nudged me into being more than friends. Equal sharing of chores and no gendering of chores for the win!

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it’s me and this nerve pain against the world

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Unhealthy relationship, but not as in a lack of love or problems with the relationship itself, but rather our physical health is in shambles... unhealthy people in love ;_;

Results are back from my nerve/muscle test. Despite the pain being more intense on my left side and starting there in Feb 2023 (in my head /neck)... there was nothing on the left side. On the right, however? Neuropathy. Guess that lines up with neuroma in my right foot (had since Jan 2021). Nerve damage on the right! Who knows on the left! All I got was one more steroid shot in my right wrist and sent on my way, no more appointments allowed. Just like with my foot!

Like they found I was in pain and just said, OK be on your way, don't let the door hit you on the way out, enjoy SUFFERING THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! (with the foot it was the case of "it's a pandemic, your foot is not a priority" ... what's the excuse NOW???)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Visited the boyfriend. He desperately wanted to go home with me.

Tried to impress me with how he can now put on and tie his shoes without getting dizzy or shaking.

He started to get fully dressed, nurse spyed him and he started shaking all over again. They will not let him go home. The Doc, the nurse, and the psych came in and told us he was physically, neurologically, and emotionally in such bad shape that if he hadn't checked himself in Friday we would've have a combination seizure and heart attack and died with a few days. Would've been literally stressed right to death.

His levels are getting better, but still bad.

They need to keep him for a few more days until they can find the exact combo of drugs to keep his brain and heart from exploding on him, only then they will release him.

I hate that they're basically keeping him a sedated prisoner, not allowed to go further than the hallway to look out the one window.... but at the same time I love him very much and don't want him to self-destruct.

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NOvember. ive had enough

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Trying not to post too much about my real life because it'd be a downer...

My boyfriend had to check himself into the hospital Friday after work. He'd been out of work for over a month (bad back that docs keep giving him a run around on, he wants and needs surgery), tried going back to work for 2 days, but that was it. He had a complete physical and mental breakdown. Was shaking like a leaf, hadn't slept in days, barely eating and what he did he threw up (also for days), dizzy and falling over. He was hoping he'd get over it but it got so bad I had to hold him up. Without going into too much detail, things happening in the news combined with feeling physically useless really sent his ptsd into overdrive as well (nothing to do but dwell and dwell and dwell on horrific things that happened to him in the past... lets just says he's pretty much been abused every way a person could be at various times in his life, while also having been witness to some gruesome violence... and the news just shows him that it never ends, there's no compassion, humans are full of hate, abusers gain in power while the abused continue to be mocked).

As of my scheduling this post, he's still in the hospital.

I'm not doing good either. I am constantly in pain. Pins and needles feeling ALL OVER, headache, stiffness, buzzing in my ear, always tired no matter how long I sleep, agony. Will be getting the nerve and muscle test result at 11am at a hospital, different hospital than boyfriend is at. It better NOT say "normal" like every other blood test and mri/ct scan, etc I've done. Tell me the source of the problem and how to fix it so I'm not in pain!!!! I feel like I've been strapped into an electric chair with the switch flipped for nearly 2 years! make it STOP!

After I get the results, I'll go visit my boyfriend at the hospital he's in.

So Monday will be work (3 towns away) ---> grab breakfast somewhere --> go to 1 hospital (another couple of towns away from work) for my test results ---> go to 2nd hospital in a yet another town to visit boyfriend

go home, walk/feed dog, shower, pray for death, attempt a nap, dinner, back to sleep, back to work next day. Fun fun!

[silvanoir]

are we sure the only way out is through? like. are we sure we can't just. go around

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God I love “We’re enemies, but we’ve been enemies for a long time, which is sort of like being friends.” Great trope.

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County roads

Full of holes

On the route

I need to go

Road construction

Lane obstruction

Let me go

County roads

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I know, right? I already get bills (ones that can't be set to auto-pay) in the mail that are days, weeks, or even a month after they are due because of the damage the Trump appointee did to the Post Office during the first time around. I live in a "Blue state" (Massachusetts). No matter what kind of person you are and where you live in the U.S., the next 4 years will affect you negatively.

the fucking wildest thing to me is how obviously women, people of color, and queer people are the most at risk in the coming administration but the whitest most cis het men STILL voted to take away their own rights

the rights to having a functioning mail service, the FDA, future vaccines, environmental protections, privacy, future voting rights, and freedom of the internet are all on the line like EVERYONE'S rights WERE on the line they just sided with hatred instead and thats whats so fucking insane.

don't get me started on the tariffs and how that's already starting to wreck the economy/inflation which Trump voters didn't seem to understand until people at their jobs had to explain it to them. My God.

people will vote to take away other's rights and their own along with it as long as someone else gets hit worse.

what the fuck.

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I'm sorry to all of you living anywhere other than the USA.

A good portion of American's don't even want to be a part of American politics, you definitely shouldn't have to.

It was getting an internet connected computer at home in the late 1990's and being able to talk to those in other countries that made me realize what B.S. this government truly is and has been.... unfortunately, it has continued to be B.S. with no signs of ever stopping.

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The price of eggs, etc.

I think one lesson Democrats never seem to learn is to not go by statistics and data and to rather actually talk to random everyday people to see what the vibe is. Stephen Colbert really nailed it many years ago when he talked about "truthiness", not the truth on a data sheet but what Americans FEEL is the truth.

Because Dems looked at stats and said "wow on average wages have gone up and the economy is great" and missed everyone mad about grocery prices or not being able to afford a place to live. Like, Kamala did talk about building more housing, but they really missed the mark on reaffirming that to a lot of people, life sucks. They messed up in past elections too, saying anyone who lost a manufacturing job (or mining) could just retrain into tech or healthcare. When they didn't want to.

Democrats really need to connect to what people are FEELING. Part of why Trump won (other than xenophobia/racism/sexism) is that he promised them they could go back to low grocery prices and the days when a man worked at a factory and supported his family and the wife stayed at home. That past is NOT coming back; It will never be the 1950s again NOR SHOULD IT EVER BE (*cough* women are people who deserve full rights and don't exist to serve men *cough* people are people no matter that color or country or origin *cough cough*), but he told them what they WANTED to hear.

Wake up Dems and don't tell people who work 2 jobs yet still live in their car that the economy is great, actually.

Don't lie, but also don't deny what a huge chunk of people are experiencing. No tut-tutting. The thing I've learned from listening to after-election interviews is that electorate wants someone they feel is on their side, not a scolding school teacher.

Also, visa-versa, the people who worship the 50s postcard-style lifestyle should talk to my older relatives who grew up poor in the 40 and 50s. Life sucked if you were poor then too. Example: my father used all his paperboy money to buy bread so he and his brothers would have enough to eat.

p.s. I wish we had more viable options that Democrat or Republican, as I'm disappointed by former and horrified by the latter, constantly since 2000.