#as always if anyone watches anything on this list bc of me pls tell me bc i would like to know ur thoughts <3< /div>
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chwedout · 1 year ago
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✨films i watched for the first time in 2023 that i think everyone should watch at least once in their lifetime✨
favourites are listed in bold
20th Century Girl (2022, dir. Bang Woo-ri)
All Quiet on the Western Front (2022, dir. Edward Berger)
Asteroid City (2023, dir. Wes Anderson)
Audition (1999, dir. Takashi Miike)
The Banshees of Inisherin (2022, dir. Martin McDonagh)
Barbie (2023, dir. Greta Gerwig)
Beau Is Afraid (2023, dir. Ari Aster)
Better Days (2019, dir. Derek Tsang Kwok-Cheung)
Bottoms (2023, dir. Emma Seligman)
Canola (2016, dir. Chang)
Columbus (2017, dir. Kogonada)
The Darjeeling Limited (2007, dir. Wes Anderson)
Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009, dir. Wes Anderson)
Grave of the Fireflies (1988, dir. Isao Takahata)
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2023, dir. James Gunn)
The House (2022, dir. Paloma Baeza, Niki Lindroth von Bahr, Emma De Swaef, Marc James Roels)
House of Hummingbird (2018, dir. Kim Bora)
I'm Thinking of Ending Things (2020, dir. Charlie Kaufman)
In Bruges (2008, dir. Martin McDonagh)
Infinity Pool (2023, dir. Brandon Cronenberg)
Isle of Dogs (2018, dir. Wes Anderson)
Killers of the Flower Moon (2023, dir. Martin Scorsese)
Memories of Murder (2003, dir. Bong Joon-ho)
Lady Vengeance (2005, dir. Park Chan-wook)
May December (2023, dir. Todd Haynes)
The Menu (2022, dir. Mark Mylod)
Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984, dir. Hayao Miyazaki)
Next Sohee (2022, dir. July Jung)
No Country for Old Men (2007, dir. Joel Coen, Ethan Coen)
Oldboy (2003, dir Park Chan-wook)
Past Lives (2023, dir. Celine Song)
Paprika (2006, dir. Satoshi Kon)
Perfect Blue (1997, dir. Satoshi Kon)
Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019, dir. Céline Sciamma)
Priscilla (2023, dir. Sofia Coppola)
Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022, Joel Crawford)
The Quiet Girl (2022, dir. Colm Bairéad)
Ramen Shop (2018, dir. Eric Khoo)
Saltburn (2023, dir. Emerald Fennell)
Shiva Baby (2020, Emma Seligman)
Sing Street (2016, dir. John Carney)
Sound of Metal (2019, dir. Darius Marder)
Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023, dir. Joaquim Dos Santos, Justin K. Thompson, Kemp Powers
Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance (2002, dir. Park Chan-wook)
The Tale of Princess Kaguya (2013, dir. Isao Takahata)
TÁR (2022, dir. Todd Field)
Theater Camp (2023, dir. Molly Gordon, Nick Lieberman)
The Truman Show (1998, dir. Peter Weir)
Weathering with You (2019, dir. Makoto Shinkai)
Women Talking (2022, dir. Sarah Polley)
2021 | 2022
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archived-junkissed · 1 year ago
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happy ending
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member — husband!junhui x f reader genre — angst, fluff, hurt/comfort word count — 6.6k synopsis — a pointless argument escalates until both of you need some space, but it couldn't come at a worse time. warnings — female reader, planned pregnancy, there's a big argument but i tried to not make it too toxic (jun and reader have a happy & healthy relationship i promise), swearing, there is a happy ending lots of fluff !! notes — requested by anon — this has been sitting in my drafts for months bc every time i look at it i get shy and wanna change my mind but i'm proud of how this turned out so i'm posting it finally! i know pregnancy fics aren't everyone's favorite but this was honestly very comforting to write so i hope anyone who chooses to read can find comfort in it as well <3 also the last time i proofread this was like april and if i try to proofread it rn i'll get shy again and chicken out so if there's any mistakes pls ignore! i hope you enjoy :)
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you sat on the bathroom floor, trying to comprehend the weight of the news you held in your hand. you couldn’t believe it. you could? you couldn’t. 
after many months of trying to start a family with your husband, you had finally succeeded. the slim plastic stick with two tiny pink lines was the last piece of evidence you needed. it had been months of carefully tracked cycles, fertility doctors, and new positions that seemed too weird to actually do anything. but now, everything was finally falling into place.
you don’t know exactly how much time you spend sitting on the floor and staring at the pregnancy test; thinking, planning, and thinking some more. but when you finally stand up and place the positive test on the counter with shaking hands, it still hasn’t fully sunk in yet what’s happening. something you’d wanted for so long, and finally it was all right in front of you.
what do you do now? no— you know exactly what you need to do, and it’s a long list of things. the real question is, where do you begin?
you thought back to all the videos you’d watched over the last few weeks. somehow every social media algorithm knew exactly what you wanted to see, and it had given it to you in abundance; baby showers, gender reveals, those “get ready with me - new mom edition” videos. all getting your hopes up before you could confirm whether or not it had finally happened.
with your hopes high and expectations even higher, you were already beginning to plan how you would break the news to junhui. as your husband and your soon-to-be baby’s father, of course you wanted him to be the very first person to know, so you couldn’t wait too long to tell him. you couldn’t wait to see the look on his face.
maybe you’d get a little gift box and give the test to him before dinner. but, then again, it was literally a piece of plastic you’d peed on. surely you could give him… something a little nicer than that.
maybe you could buy a baby outfit and wrap it up for him. but you remembered he’d mentioned so many times about how excited he would be to pick out clothes once you got pregnant. you would want him to have the honor of picking out the very first one, going to the store together and looking through the whole section before finally settling on the perfect one.
what else was there you could do? bake a cake? make a crossword puzzle? buy him a t-shirt that says “dad-to-be”? so many ways you could do it, but none of them seemed perfectly right.
from the other room you hear the door opening, and hurriedly you stuff the test into a drawer, not wanting to tell him just yet. you need a plan first; waiting another day or two couldn’t hurt, so you’ll just have to figure out how to tell him later.
you flip off the bathroom light and stride into the hallway, barely able to contain the grin on your face. you’ve always been terrible at keeping secrets, and with news as big and exciting as this you have no idea how you’re going to be able to hide it from him for more than a minute.
but luckily you don’t have to wonder about it for long, because as soon as you see jun you can already tell he’s in a sour mood. 
you know it’s usually best to let him have some time alone when he’s upset, but not for too long because he starts getting frustrated with himself and won’t stop working until he’s exhausted.
but you’re still on a high after everything today, so you decide on being a little bit sweeter to him in the hopes that your happiness will be contagious and that it’ll lift his spirits, despite what was probably a really awful day at work.
you find him sitting at the kitchen table with his head in his hands, long fingers pressed against his eyes trying to block out the light.
“hey, junnie,” you call out, sitting down in a chair next to him. “bad day?”
“yeah,” he answers shortly.
“i’m sorry, baby,” you hum, putting your hand on his shoulder, but he flinches and your hand falls away in surprise. he’s never done that before. weird. you try something else. “um, any requests for dinner?”
“not hungry.”
“alright. well, i guess i can cook up some veggies and leave them out, you can heat them up whenever you get hungry.”
he moves his hands away from his face and onto the table, sighing as he leans back in his chair. “can you just— leave me alone for a while? i’m sorry.”
you nod and stand up. “no, it’s fine. i get it. i’ll bring you some tea later then, maybe. text me when you’re feeling better.” you reach out and gently touch his hand before walking away, leaving him alone at the table.
it’s definitely one of his worser days, you note, so you retreat to your bedroom to watch more videos on your phone, trying to bring back your excitement from earlier. hopefully later he’ll be more open and you can sit down and eat something, and maybe by then you’ll have come up with a good way to tell him the news.
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an hour passes and you come out of your bedroom to look for jun, having a question from one of your friends about the dinner you’d arranged to have together next week. but he’s no longer in the kitchen, so you peek your head into his office room and find him exactly where you expect him to be, trying to work himself to death.
you clear your throat before you enter, not wanting to startle him again. “hey, junnie, i know you’re in a bad mood, and i’m sorry to interrupt, but—”
“what do you want?” he snaps, never turning around from his desk. just from the way he’s hunched over his computer, he looks like the most stressed you’ve ever seen him, and your chest tightens with worry before your brain registers what he’s just said to you.
“i— excuse me?”
“i said, what do you want?” he repeats, still facing away from you.
you resist the urge to glare at him, knowing he’s probably under a lot of pressure, and you aren’t trying to add to it. “you don’t have to be rude, jun. i just came in here to double check about next weekend, minghao’s texting me.”
he finally lifts his head, slamming his hand down on the desk. “i’m really trying not to snap at you, but— jesus, you make it so fucking hard sometimes.”
you raise your eyebrows in disbelief, your voice lifting in tone. “well, i’m so very sorry to inconvenience you then, but i really don’t appreciate you talking to me like that, jun.”
“and i don’t appreciate you talking to me like i’m a child! when will you get it through your head?”
his comment stings, but you brush it off. “well, maybe if you’d just talk to me like an adult instead of throwing a fit and hiding in your office then i wouldn’t have to treat you like one!” you’re starting to get tired of how he retreats in on himself every time bad shit happens. all you want to do is let him know he doesn’t have to do it alone, and he’s just… exploding at you for no reason, so you don’t try to hide the snarkiness behind your words.
he scoffs angrily and stands up, towering over you at his full height. “oh, grow up! you’re so moody all the time and you expect me to just put up with it! as if i don’t have enough other shit to worry about, i have to worry about what you think of this and that and everything all the damn time!”
you’ve never seen him get so angry like this, and it’s almost scary how completely different this jun is from the jun you know and love. “okay, jun, fine, i’ll just—”
“no, don’t fucking “jun, fine” me. it’s like you’re doing it on purpose at this point, you act like everything is just so perfect and then when it’s not you act like it’s your job to fix everything! you can’t fix everything!”
“i said fine! just forget it, i’ll leave you the hell alone like you always want!”
he pushes past you and crosses the room in two strides, grabbing his keys off the hook by the door, his hand already on the doorknob. “i need to get some air. i’ll be back later.”
you fold your arms over your chest, trying to look unphased but inside your heart is breaking. “you’re really gonna walk out like that? you’re just gonna run away from this? real mature, junhui.”
he spins around, and the look in his eyes is cold. “if i don’t get out of this house right now i’m gonna say something i actually regret.”
and in a flash the door is slammed shut and jun is gone. you can hear his car starting up in the driveway, and seconds later everything is dead silent.
you stand frozen in front of the door, unable to move. you can’t believe it. you can’t. what just happened?
jun has never just… walked out like that.
his words ring in your ears; though your argument wasn’t very long, a lot was said in a very short time and you can’t even begin to think about how to process it as it starts to hit you all at once.
say something he actually regrets? what the hell does that mean? so he’s saying he doesn’t regret everything else, the cursing and the anger and the pointed words that were clearly meant to hurt you?
minute after long minute passes and you realize he’s not coming back anytime soon. finally you drag yourself away from the door, dropping down on the couch in a daze.
there’s never been a time where you and jun haven’t made up immediately after an argument. sure, maybe you take a little bit to cool down in your own space, but neither of you like letting the tension sit unresolved for very long. so what was it this time that made him leave without even a goodbye?
so many reasons, so many excuses, so many words you could’ve said instead. you shouldn’t have reacted like that, you shouldn’t have kept it going, you should’ve just left him alone. would that have made him stay? if you’d backed down sooner and just let him work through it on his own?
despite all the what-ifs and the doubts in your mind, your conscience won’t allow you to let him worry about everything by himself without at least offering your help. you’re a team, husband and wife, and you’ll be damned if you let him forget that. maybe you trying to help actually made things worse in the end, but at least you know you tried… right?
it’s not until you check your phone and realize that jun’s been gone more than half an hour that you finally let yourself cry. you’d been so focused on worrying about where jun was and whether he was okay that you’d barely even thought about what might happen after this.
will he just… come back and pretend nothing happened? will he come back and still be angry at you? it would almost be worse if he was calm and acted like everything was normal. would he even apologize? would you even apologize? of course you would. both of you said things that were fucked up, and you’ll be the first to admit it if it means this whole thing can be over. right now all you want is to have junhui back.
the tears keep falling but you don’t even feel yourself crying, your face rigid as the tears continue to stain your cheeks.
after an hour you force yourself to get up off the couch and move somewhere, anywhere around the house to try and get your mind off things. but you can’t erase his voice from your head, the look in his eyes as he walked out the door and the way his shoulders hunched from anger mixed with exhaustion.
you find yourself back in your bedroom and you fall onto his side of the bed, wishing you would wake up to find that this has all just been a very bad dream.
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it’s after 10pm when you hear your phone buzz on the nightstand and you sit up in a panic, scrambling to see if it’s something from jun. your eyes sting from crying so much, and you blink away the remaining tears as you unlock your phone with shaking hands. your heart drops even further when you realize it is, in fact, from jun, but not the news you want to hear.
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you let your phone slip out of your grasp, tumbling to the carpet with a thud. when he’d said he’d be back later you had assumed that meant he’d be coming back tonight. clearly you thought wrong.
tomorrow seemed so far away; too much time to spend alone in a house that was supposed to be filled with happy memories, but now all you felt was pain. you felt it in your chest and in your stomach and in your head and everywhere. the whole room was suffocating, heavy weight crushing down on you from every angle.
you slide to the floor and pick up your phone. you don’t text junhui back. you’re not sure anymore if he’d even read your message. 
instead you type in your friend seokmin’s phone number, listening to the line ring as you wipe the back of your hand across your eyes.
as soon as he picks up, he can hear the anguish in your voice and he’s begging you to tell him what’s wrong, but all you can muster up is a soft, “can i stay with you tonight?” because you can’t bear to be in this house another second without junhui. 
and of course he says yes, and of course he’s immediately on his way over to pick you up. and of course he stops at mcdonald’s on the way back to his house to buy you something to eat, because you haven’t eaten and even though you don’t particularly have much of an appetite right now, seokmin would rather die than let you skip a meal, especially on a night like tonight when you could really use something to keep you going.
you throw your overnight bag on the floor of seokmin’s living room with a small sigh. in a haze you’d tossed in whatever items you thought you might need; a toothbrush, pajamas, something to wash your face with. 
he gives you space for a while as he pulls out the folding bed part of the couch and brings out blankets and pillows for you to sleep with. you don’t say it, but you really appreciate his help. he’s been one of your best friends for so long, and you don’t know what you’d do without him. 
you hadn’t thought about it while you were packing, but as you stand in seokmin’s bathroom you think about the cleanser you’d grabbed; your favorite one, the one jun had gotten you for your birthday last year and you’d never switched to another brand since. 
every single thing reminds you of him, and you push down a fresh wave of emotion as you scrub the foam into your skin, trying to wash away all your tears.
when you’re done getting ready for bed you find seokmin in the living room with a pot of tea. he was just trying to help, but unluckily for him, he’d made green tea. it was your favorite… but it also happened to be jun’s favorite.
and this time you can’t hold back your tears, and seokmin is sitting wide eyed and bewildered, wondering why you’re crying over tea, but he doesn’t ask. he just reaches out to let you hug him, and you squeeze him so tightly you know it must hurt, but he doesn’t say anything, just lets you hug him as hard as you can and lets your tears stain his t-shirt.
it takes another half hour for you to calm down enough to talk. you’d spent the time watching whatever was on tv, not really paying attention and instead playing everything back in your mind. seokmin had just sat next to you, quietly keeping you company until you were ready.
“jun and i… had a fight,” you say finally, interrupting the commercial playing on the screen.
“i figured,” he says, offering you a comforting smile as he mutes the tv. “do you wanna talk about it?”
“i don’t know. there’s not much to talk about.” you take a shaky breath, remembering it all one more time. “we both said some awful things that we didn’t mean. at least, i know i didn’t mean them. then he just… left, and he texted that he’d come home tomorrow. that’s it.”
you don’t tell him about the pregnancy test. you’ve mentioned once or twice that you and jun had been interested in starting a family, but you’d never gone into detail about it and you weren’t going to now. you still wanted jun to be the first person to know, even though you didn’t know when that might be anymore.
you tell him about other things instead, about your day at work and your plans for the weekend. eventually you finish your tea, and seokmin retreats to his own room and shuts the door with a quiet click, leaving you alone in the quiet of his living room.
it takes you a long time to fall asleep, but soon your exhaustion catches up with you and you let yourself rest, physically and emotionally drained. at least the silence here isn’t as bad as the silence at your house.
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across town in his friend seungcheol’s guest bedroom, jun can’t stop tossing and turning. he’s fucked up, he knows he fucked up, big time.
why did he leave? he shouldn’t have left. you had been absolutely right, he was running away from everything and it was stupid and dumb and immature. but in that moment all he could think about was what the next awful thing he might say to you was, and he knew if he had stayed for any longer he wouldn’t have been able to stop what came out of his mouth. he was out of control, and immediately he knew it.
not even the worst day in the world could make you deserving of all the things he said to you. you were the only thing that wasn’t bad in his life; even on shitty days like today, all you did was care about him. and all he did was hurt you.
jun barely sleeps that night, finally forcing himself out of the extra bed at dawn. he’d been too anxious to sleep, too frustrated with himself to do anything other than think about everything he did and wonder if you were okay without him.
he’d already gotten an earful from his friend last night, and he knew he was still in big trouble. the things he said wouldn’t just go away overnight. in fact, they’d probably gotten worse by leaving them to build up overnight, and again he’s kicking himself for ever leaving in the first place.
he packs up his things as quickly as he can, eager to get home and see you again. on his way out the door, he thanks seungcheol for letting him stay the night and he apologizes for bothering him so late.
“i’m not the one you need to apologize to. you better figure out how to fix this, jun.”
with a straight face he nods, bowing his head as he closes the door.
in his car, jun takes the long way home, trying to find an open grocery store. he knows it won’t make up for how he acted, but the very least he can do it buy you a bouquet of your favorite flowers.
he walks through the aisles, basket in hand, trying to think of something else for you. maybe he’ll get the ingredients he needs to make your favorite dinner tonight; he hadn’t eaten last night, though you had offered to cook for him and he’d shot you down.
he feels another pang of guilt at the thought, remembering yet another kind gesture you’d tried to give him that he’d brushed off like it meant nothing. it meant everything to him, and in the middle of the frozen vegetables aisle he swore he wouldn’t ever do it again. 
he’d taken you for granted, and he was so lucky that things hadn’t ended worse than they did. he could’ve said something truly unforgivable, or he could’ve even lost your relationship altogether. but he was still yours, and you were still his, and he would just have to work extra hard to make sure you knew how sincere he was.
he’d been a little worried that you hadn’t texted him back last night, seeing that you’d read his message but never responded. you were probably still hurt, and he didn’t blame you; still, he’d hoped you would say something back.
with grocery bags loaded full of ingredients for dinner and the special things he’d bought for you, the drive back home feels a little more hopeful.
he plans out everything he’ll do in the car. he’ll bring the groceries in and put them away quickly; it’s still fairly early in the morning, so hopefully you won’t be awake yet. he’ll arrange your flowers all nice in a pretty vase, and he’ll come in and wake you up with the best apology of his life and hopefully a really big hug. after the last 24 hours he really could use a hug, and he’s sure you could too. and then he’ll explain how sorry he is and how he didn’t mean any of it and then everything will be better again. yes, everything will be okay.
the first part of his plan goes perfectly. he sneaks into the house and when he’s met with silence he continues putting everything away, quietly so he won’t wake you up in the other room. then, he puts the flowers in a vase and with everything in place, he walks down the hallway to finally face you.
but when he twists the bedroom door handle, the bed is made and the room is empty. you aren’t there.
he frowns, leaving the room and poking his head into the bathroom, then his office. he calls your name loudly, hoping you’re just in a corner of the house and you’ll come out once you hear him. but no reply.
he goes back into the living room and sets the vase down on the coffee table, trying to think. you aren’t usually up this early, but maybe you hadn’t been able to sleep and you’d gone out for a walk, or maybe you’d gone to the store to get more cereal? 
a sinking feeling rises in his chest, and he walks back into the bedroom to confirm something, sliding open the closet door to check. your overnight duffel bag is gone.
he ducks back into the bathroom to check something else. your toothbrush isn’t sitting in the jar like it usually is. he slides open the bathroom drawer to check one more thing, and—
his hand freezes on the knob, staring at something in the drawer that wasn’t there before. he’s not sure it is what he thinks it is, but either way there it is, clear as day in front of him: a little white piece of plastic, sticking out from underneath a tissue. 
gingerly he pulls it out, holding it up to the light to see it better. when he sees the two pink lines he nearly drops it in shock, but he stops himself, setting it gently on the counter instead.
this is something special, something precious, and he knew he had to take care of it. you’d saved it for a reason; you could’ve easily just thrown it away once you knew the results, but you had kept it instead. were you going to give it to him?
he covers his mouth with his hand, still staring at the stick sitting on the edge of the sink. it was just a cheap piece of plastic, but to him it was the most important thing in the entire world.
he deflates when he realizes you’d probably been planning on telling him last night, before he’d blown up at you. if he’d been paying attention to anyone other than himself, he would’ve noticed your mood was happier than usual, your face glowing with contained excitement. he should’ve been paying attention.
there’s a sense of urgency in his stride as he dashes around the house, looking for any other sign of you, but it’s clear you weren’t there. there were so many places you could be, he can’t even begin to think of where to look. your parents, friends, family; hell, you could even have stayed in a hotel, alone and upset. he should’ve been there. none of this should’ve ever happened.
immediately he presses the speed dial for your phone, but of course– no answer. he calls again, and again you don’t pick up. he curses, resisting the urge to slam his phone down on the table in frustration. no, he has to stay calm. that’s what got him into this whole fucking mess in the first place.
he remembers that your parents are out of town on vacation, so you probably wouldn’t have gone there. you wouldn’t have gone to a hotel because you always lecture him about the importance of saving money “just in case”, so you wouldn’t have paid to stay somewhere. your sister is still in college and shares an apartment with three other people, so probably not the best idea either. 
that narrows it down to one of your friends’ houses; seokmin, who lives a couple blocks away, or joshua, who lives on the other side of town.
he figures seokmin is his best bet, so jun takes a deep breath and finds the contact in his phone.
“what do you want?” seokmin’s usually cheery voice has an edge to it today, and jun knows he’s picked right.
“is she there?” he asks anxiously.
“she is,” he confirms, and jun exhales, letting out the breath he had been holding in. “but she’s asleep still. i’ll let her know you called.”
“wait,” jun adds quickly.
the line is silent for a moment, and he’s afraid seokmin’s already hung up, but finally he gets a response. “what is it?”
"can i–are you sure? please," jun pleads. if he could just talk to you, just explain what happened and that he's so fucking sorry—
“hold on,” seokmin says, and the phone goes quiet again.
jun’s heart is in his throat as he waits for a response, and he stops when he finally hears your voice. “hello?”
he breathes a sigh of relief. “sweetheart. i’m so sorry.”
you don’t reply, so he continues.
“i’m glad you’re okay,” he starts, trying to put the right words together. “i shouldn’t have said any of that last night, and i shouldn’t have left. i didn’t mean it. i’m sorry.”
“thanks” is all you say, and he hates how small and sad your voice sounds. it’s his fault you sound like that.
“i found your test,” he bursts out, unable to hide his excitement any longer.
“oh." you pause, swallowing. "so… you know.”
“yes, i do know, baby. i’m so sorry, if i had known before—”
you cut him off, your tone suddenly rising with anger. “‘if you had known?’ so you won’t yell at me if i’m pregnant, but you’re just fine with yelling at me when you think i’m not? is that the only reason why you’re even apologizing to me right now?"
“no— fuck, no, of course not. i shouldn’t yell at you, period. and i’m not going to ever again.” jun pauses for a second, rubbing his hand over his eyes. he’s done nothing so far but make everything worse. “i really messed up, honey, and i’m sorry. i can’t say it enough. but— please, come home. i don’t want to talk over the phone.”
you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to will away the tears that threaten to fall again. you don’t want to cry about this anymore. “okay,” you say finally. “i’ll be home in a little while.”
“thank you,” jun says, and the way his voice breaks makes your heart sink. you can tell he feels awful about everything, and you do really, really miss him.
“…i love you," you add, changing your mind at the last second.
“i love you, too!” he says immediately. “i love you, too, honey. text me when you’re on your way.”
“i will.”
he says “i love you” twice more before you end the call. you sit in silence for a second, processing everything before you stand up off the couch and head to seokmin’s room to give him back his phone.
"can you take me home now, please?" you tell him softly, and immediately seokmin stands up and hugs you, his arms wrapped tightly around you.
"of course. let me know when you're ready."
half an hour later you find yourself in the front seat of seokmin’s car once again, this time sitting nervously in his driveway as he puts your bag in the trunk for you. you're still not sure if you're ready to face jun yet, but you know you have to.
reluctantly you unlock your phone and open your text messages with jun, your eyes landing on the text he'd sent last night that had gone unreplied. with shaky fingers you type out that you're leaving seokmin’s house, and jun replies almost instantly with a long string of heart emojis.
seokmin gets into the car and starts it, and you exhale and set your phone in the cupholder.
"are you okay?" he asks, turning to look at you. "because you can always let me know if you need anything. anytime, day or night."
"i'm alright," you say, taking a deep breath. "i'm fine. but thank you, seok. i really appreciate everything."
he smiles, shifting the car into reverse. "of course. it's no problem at all."
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the second he hears the car pull up outside the house, jun jumps up off the couch, smoothing his shirt down anxiously. through the window he watches seokmin hand you your bag and close the trunk, giving you one last hug before he gets back in the car. he doesn't drive away until you're at the front porch, and with a deep breath jun swings open the door, before you can even knock.
you both stand there in silence for a second before he blurts out another apology. "i'm sorry," he rushes to say. "i'm really sorry."
you give him a weak smile. "can i maybe… get in the house, first?" you ask quietly, motioning with your free hand at the doorway.
"yeah, i— yeah, shit, of course," jun says as he practically jumps out of your way, holding the door open for you to walk inside.
you set your bag on the floor by the couch as he closes the door behind you. the sound of the lock clicking seems too loud in the uncomfortable silence that settles over the room.
"can… can i give you a hug? please?" he asks, and you stay quiet but nod. 
he closes the distance between you in one stride and wraps his arms around you, squeezing you so tightly and holding you close to his chest. "i'm so sorry, honey. i didn't mean any of it. i promise."
"i believe you," you finally manage, your voice a little muffled from how he's pressing you against him.
he doesn't say anything more, just holds you and holds you, and it feels so good to be home where you belong. there's a lot that needs to be said, but for right now you don't need any more words. you're just glad to be back together again.
after a while you pull your head away from him so you speak. "i'm sorry."
"why are you apologizing? you didn't do anything wrong, baby. i'm the one that needs to be apologizing."
you shake your head. "no. i said some things last night, too. granted, not as bad as you, but…"
jun breaks out into a grin at your joke, and you feel your mood start to lighten. "…which is true. and i'm sorry."
"jun, you can stop apologizing now. i get it, you're sorry. you don't have to tell me a million times," you say, trying to laugh a little.
now it's his turn to shake his head. "well, i'm going to anyway. because i am sorry." you look away from him, feeling embarrassment start to boil up, but he continues talking. "i'm serious. i'll say it as many times as it takes to make it right."
you turn your head back to him, struggling to keep a straight face. "why did you leave, jun?" you ask softly.
he takes a deep breath, and still trapped in his arms you can feel his chest expand with the breath. 
"it was stupid," he says finally. "i left because i didn't want to stay and risk hurting you more. but i realize i did that anyway, by leaving. i was just… i needed some air. but i shouldn't have stayed away, and i'm not gonna do that again. i won't do it, ever again."
"i just don't want you to leave me," you manage, trying and failing to hide the crack in your voice as you feel your eyes start to well up with tears.
he hugs you tighter and one of his hands comes up to cup the back of your head, gently smoothing your hair with his thumb. "i know, baby, i'm sorry. i'm not going to, i promise."
you don't respond, but you know he's telling the truth. the last 24 hours have been hell for the both of you, and you don't doubt he means every single "i'm sorry" he's said.
"so…" jun starts, and you tilt your head up at him.
"so?" you know what he's going to say next, and despite the excitement you had yesterday you feel yourself dreading this part of the conversation.
"you're pregnant?"
you sigh, looking down and avoiding his eyes. "yeah."
he hums. "but you don't sound excited?" he asks.
"well, i was, last night."
"i'm sorry," he winces. "do you wanna tell me now and i'll pretend this didn't happen and i don't know about it?"
you shake your head. "no, it's fine. the moment's kinda… ruined, already."
he sighs. "yeah, i know. i'm sorry i ruined it."
"i said it's fine, jun."
"no, it's not fine," he says firmly. "it's one hundred percent my fault. this is important to you, and to us, and we should be celebrating right now. last night should never have happened."
"jun, it's in the past. it was messed up, but i forgive you," you say, lifting you head to look at him once more. "it's not a big deal. we're okay now."
"i just want you to be happy about it," he says with a sniff. "we've been trying for so long, and finally…" he trails off, staring at you with watery eyes. 
you smile at him. "i am happy about it, junnie. i'm so happy, you can't even believe."
"did you tell seokmin?" he asks, and his brows furrow when you shake your head no.
"no, i didn't. i wanted you to be the first i told," you say shyly. "i knew you would want to be the first to know."
"i love you so much," he says, still hugging you. he's never going to let you go, never again. "do you know how far along?"
"no, i didn't go to the doctor. probably like two or three weeks, though, if i've been counting it right."
"wow," he sighs, a smile on his face as he stares off into the distance behind you. "i can't wait."
you watch his eyes, practically able to see the thoughts running through his head. 
after a while he loosens his grip around you, moving to swipe at his eyes quickly with the back of his hand. "well—anyway," he starts, giving you an awkward chuckle. "i bought stuff for breakfast. if you haven't had any, yet. and i'm making dinner tonight, too."
before you can even respond his eyes widen, like he's just now remembering all the things he had planned, and he lets go of you, bounding into the kitchen. he returns seconds later with a huge glass vase full of flowers, practically tripping over his own feet in his rush to hand them to you. "and i got these for you, too. sorry they're not the best, it's all the store had this morning."
"junnie, if this is the best the store had, then i don't think i wanna see their best," you laugh, holding the flowers up and admiring the dozens of bright blooms. "this is gorgeous, but you really didn't need to get me anything."
"but i wanted to," he counters, still running around the room to grab the gift bag sitting by the couch. "consider it an 'i'm very sorry' slash 'congrats you're having a baby' gift."
you set the vase down on the table next to you and take the bag from him, pulling out the tissue paper and crumpling it into a ball.
"i didn't have a whole lot of time to look this morning, but i found these," he says nervously, waiting for your reaction.
from the bag you pull out a miniature plastic hanger holding a set of tiny pajamas covered in little kitties, attached to a matching set of striped orange socks.
"i wanted to be the first person to get you baby clothes," he explains as he fidgets with his hands. 
"i knew you would," you smile at him, setting the empty bag and the clothes on the table along with the bouquet of flowers. "and they're perfect. they're so… you."
you throw your arms around his neck, pulling him back in for another hug. "i love all of it. thank you, jun."
he grins, rocking you back and forth in his arms and leaving kisses all over your cheek. "i love you too, baby. i missed you so much. i won't ever do that again."
"i know," you smile. "now… you promised me breakfast, isn't that right? because i'm starving. crying is exhausting."
he laughs. "no crying anymore. and i did promise you that, so tell me: do you want blueberry waffles, or strawberry?"
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river-ocean · 2 years ago
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40 and 90 for piarles pls babe, if you fancy it 🥺❤️❤️
oh briony this is WONDERFUL. thank you for this prompt and for indulging my piarles thoughts always.
almost kiss and unexpected virgin!
this, um. got out of hand. and you can partially blame ceci for that, bc she encouraged the continuation about why the unexpected virgin is still a virgin (thanks @carpe-dracon) <3
Charles wins the Australian Grand Prix.
Pierre is P5, and is deservedly pleased with his finish, so Charles isn’t surprised when he sees the message asking which club they’ll hit first. But the teams are all leaving early the next morning to head off to the US, and Charles thinks he’d much rather celebrate his win with a more quiet night.
Charles calls him, and Pierre seems surprised when Charles instead invites him over for a night of movies and room service, but as always, Pierre will celebrate with Charles any way he wants.
What Charles wants most is to finally tell Pierre how he feels, and more than that, he wants to finally show Pierre how he feels.
But Charles isn’t exactly the master of making a move, so he pulls up the browser on his phone and searches “good movie to watch when you want to kiss someone,” and finds plenty of articles clearly directed at teenagers hoping to score their first kiss. He feels silly, but he sees Silver Linings Playbook as one of the suggestions and that has always been on their “to watch” list, so he queues it up and distracts himself by ordering room service for the two of them.
Pierre arrives soon after with a bottle of champagne and a bouquet of carnations, laughing and telling Charles that he thought they were roses but Charles is too surprised by the fact that Pierre brought him flowers to care what kind of flowers they are.
Charles is stuck in his head the entire time they’re eating, and abruptly moves to the bed and tells Pierre he’s ready to start the movie. Pierre isn’t fazed by Charles’ lack of social skills - he never is.
They’re watching the movie and Charles feels just like he did as a teenager on his first movie date. He and Pierre have never shied away from physical affection, but tonight they’re not touching and tonight is clearly different. There is space between them where there normally is none, and Charles can feel the electricity that fills the air in that gap.
“Pierre, why did you bring me flowers?” Charles blurts out, turning to face Pierre.
“To celebrate your win of course,” Pierre smirks back at him.
Charles furrows his brow at the response, and Pierre laughs.
“Okay calamar, are we going to keep pretending we don’t like each other? I think it’s obvious enough, and I am ready to drop the act if you are,” Pierre continues, watching as Charles turns as turns as red as the carnations sitting on the counter of the kitchenette.
Charles swallows and shakes his head, leaning in closer to Pierre in favor of words. Their lips are centimeters apart, and Charles is hoping Pierre will close the distance so that Charles doesn’t have to make the first move after all.
Pierre brings a hand up to Charles’ cheek, sighing and closing his eyes.
“Before we do this, I want to be honest with you,” he says, and Charles freezes. He thought they were being honest with each other. Wasn’t that the whole point?
“I’ve never done this before,” Pierre continues, and for once, Charles can tell that Pierre is the nervous one.
“You have never done what before?” Charles asks, leaning back and raising an eyebrow at Pierre. “Kissed a boy?”
Pierre chuckles, and Charles is pleased to see the tension in his shoulder relax a bit. “No Charlo, I’ve kissed plenty of boys. I’ve never — I’ve never slept with anyone, and I don’t want to assume anything about where this is going but…” he trails off, looking to Charles for a reaction.
Charles blinks once, twice, three times, not processing the information that he just received. Pierre Gasly, playboy of the paddock, has never slept with anyone? That can’t possibly be true. Pierre has always been the first one to make a sex joke, to tease Charles when he blushes at said jokes.
But Charles knows Pierre. He knows Pierre probably better than he knows himself, and he can see that Pierre isn’t lying. He can see the way Pierre is worrying his bottom lip waiting for Charles to respond, and it sends Charles into a protective mode. He settles next to Pierre, his body still turned to face him but no longer leaning in for a kiss. He rests his knee against Pierre and takes his hand, pulling it in close to his chest and looking into Pierre’s eyes.
“Pierre, I would never pressure you into doing anything you are not comfortable with. I am so glad you told me this, and I want you to know that we can take things as slow as you want, okay?” Charles assures him, never breaking their eye contact, watching Pierre relax further with Charles’ words.
Pierre nods, eyes glistening a bit. “I know it is probably a weird time for me to say this since we’re talking about romantic feelings now or whatever, but I love you, Charles. I’m really glad that you are my best friend.”
Charles shakes his head and smiles softly at Pierre. “Non, Pierrot, it is not weird. I love you, too. I have always loved you, and I am not going to stop telling you that just because there are other layers to that now.”
Pierre laughs and leans his head on Charles’ shoulder. Charles might not get the kiss he was hoping for tonight, but he thinks this is infinitely better.
———————————————
Charles keeps his promises - both to never stop telling Pierre that he loves him, and to let Pierre set the pace for everything physical between them.
But he’s also curious about how this happened, about how Pierre had been in multiple years-long relationships before Charles and still never had sex. He isn’t really sure how to bring it up without making things awkward, and he doesn’t want Pierre to feel like he’s shaming him.
But Pierre is so good at everything that is leading up to the sex, and Charles just…doesn’t understand how it never went further, never crossed that line before.
And one day, a few months into their relationship, Pierre is laying his head in Charles’ lap and he tells Charles that he’s ready, that he wants to have sex with Charles, as long as Charles will walk him through it, guide him along the way.
“Pierrot, of course I will. I want us to talk about this though, before we take that step. I want you to be sure that you are ready, and that this is really what you want,” he says, gently running his hand through Pierre’s hair.
He feels Pierre freeze in his lap for a moment and then relax almost instantly - as though this has been a point of contention in his life previously, but that he finally feels like he can trust someone with it. Trust Charles with it.
“I was raised to wait for marriage,” Pierre begins, and Charles heart stutters for a moment. A realization that this is an aspect of Pierre’s faith that he had never thought about, mostly because he assumed that it wasn’t something Pierre would abide by.
He stays silent, still carding his hand through Pierre’s hair, waiting for him to continue.
“I guess it’s the one thing I’ve always held on to. Even after I felt like the church would abandon me when I came out, like God himself would abandon me for being bisexual. And I came to terms with that, for the most part, and I’ve worked through it, but I guess this was the sticking point for me?” Pierre chuckles as he traces circles mindlessly on Charles’ thigh, but Charles can hear a sadness in his voice that gives him away.
“Pierrot, we do not have to do this then, I —“ Charles starts, but Pierre immediately sits up to look at him.
“Charles, I’ve been waiting because it’s you. It has always been you, and I’ve always known it would be you,” he says, holding intense eye contact with Charles.
Charles furrows his brow. “But I thought you said you were waiting for marriage…”
Pierre chuckles again, but this time there is no sadness in his voice. “Yes, that’s mostly what I mean, calamar.”
Charles is still confused, and Pierre is looking at him, waiting for it to sink in.
“I don’t want to like, put pressure on this or anything. But I know you, and you know me. Better than anyone else in this world. And I have always known that it would be you, Charles. The person I marry. That’s why it has never worked out with anyone else.”
Charles is sure that he’s hallucinating, that this is some kind of dream that —
“But even if not," Pierre continues. "Even if we don’t get married, if I’m wrong about this, which I’m sure that I’m not,” he smirks at Charles, “I still want you to be the first person I have sex with. I know that, because I trust you. I trust you with my heart, and I trust you with this. And I wouldn’t want it to be anyone else.” 
He puts a hand over Charles’ heart, and Charles realizes that this is real, that Pierre is sitting in front of him, telling him that not only does he want to sleep with him, but that he’s also very certain that he wants to marry him. And Charles wants that too. He wants all of Pierre, he wants everything with Pierre. Love and sex and marriage and life, just like he has wanted Pierre by his side from the moment they met.
So Charles kisses him, and he guides him through it, every step of the way. And Pierre is gentle and kind but also so incredibly good at this, and Charles is sure that he would never get tired of this.
Pierre is right, of course. They get married. Charles never gets tired of any part of life with Pierre.
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dearest-painter · 2 years ago
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Killer of Ldenbia
Summary overall:Ldenbia is a town not so far away from multiple places that have famous killers like ghost face,micheal Myers,the sawyer family,and lastly an orphan who kills or Esther but Ldenbia has It’s own killer. Y/N L/N is known as ‘Toy maker’ as all her victims are made into dolls but when multiple murderers decided to move into Ldenbia due to its very easy ways to hide but soon their meet the ‘toy maker’
Summary of this part:The origins of Y/N L/N or Toy maker,the killer of Ldenbia and the cherish dearest friends of a toy maker.
Part 2
TW/CW:yandere behavior, unhealthy behavior, unhealthy relationship,abusive behavior,abusive relationship.murdering,killing,making humans into living dolls/puppets/marionettes,cat calling,bullying,attacking,SELF HARM,cigarettes,alcohol,Y/N has glasses,torturing,Y/N favors their mom more then their dad because why not,I make Y/N sound hella Edgey because I’m bad at writing murderers that I don’t already have a full vision of the murderer but trust me pls,Y/N is repulsed by romantic love and cherishes platonic love,LONGER THEN MY USUAL SHIT,please tell me if I have missed anything
WARNING:THIS IS HELLA CRINGEY AND YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SKIP THIS AND GO TO THE NEXT PARTS!! THIS IS JUST SO I CAN START THE SERIES OF ‘Killer of Ldenbia’ AS I ALWAYS WANTED TO START THIS!!! EVERYTHING IN THIS IS HELLA CRINGEY AS IM NOT USE TO WRITING MURDERER Y/N BUT THIS WILL HELP ME IN THE FUTURE!! ALSO IT MIGHT BE FUCKED UP BC I DID IT ALL IN ONE SITTING JIST YO NOT LOSE SHIT!
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At the youngest age Y/N learnt that Love was a useless thing as it was a falsehood of manipulation,they use Love as a manipulative tactic to keep a doll with them all the time. They learnt that as they watched their parents interact with one another with complete loveless,anger,coldness,and hatred with each other showed the complete truth of love. Their mother held love for their father at least once upon a time but that love had faded and regrew with Y/N which made them realize that romantic love was useless but platonic love? Platonic love was everything needed in life.
They grew up around thieves,murderers,prostitutes,strippers, and everyone that would be considered a sinner as they were some of the best people. The murderers were what brought Y/N’s true colors out. They loved the scenes of murders,they loved the colors of the blood all around,they loved the screams of mercy and terror,they loved the smell of the metallic blood,and lastly they loved the art. Yes Y/N knew they weren’t a good person or had a reason to murder but they loved the complete art of seeing it all.
Y/N knew they were considered an edgy wanna be but that just helped them Murder as most murderers are the least suspected people as stereotypical preppy boy. Y/N had to adapt to the others around them fast so that they wouldn’t be the most suspicious suspect so they learnt fast. Took kindness from the old ladies,took the empathy from the old males and ladies,took the happiness from the friends they hold deeply,took the listing from teachers,and took the masking from the killers.
Y/N loved dolls and toys as the way they move was something that amazed them. Y/N learnt how to make dolls and toys just to make their ideas. Their mother always supported them and cheered them on even if she did not understand. That made Y/N cherish platonic love much more then romantic love. Their friends always amazed by what they make and compliment the toys,Y/N loved the love of parents,friends,and siblings as they won’t used love to their own tactics against them.
Y/N had romantic partners yes but it wasn’t needed as they never loved anyone but they wanted to test out the waters. Each partner was harmful and they hated them completely. They always admire the true lovers who were devoted to each other which makes them happy in a way. People actually love others but they knew love wasn’t for them at all.them,they all were just pawns in their game. Y/N was disgusted by the way the people loved each other. Y/N always admired the true romantic love,when their both completely devoted to each other and not even daring to go down the path to use it against the person or cheat so Y/N was always happy for them. Each lover they had was just to test out the waters but it never ended right as they tried to use the love against them. Y/N was right romantic love was completely useless and was a weapon to others.
Y/N is currently looking down at their sleeping friend in their lap named Morgan. Y/N was running a hand threw Morgan’s hair. “Aye,she’s still asleep?” “Yes Mischa” Mischa Olsson a Canadian Swedish man who was known for graffitiing random shit. “She’s like a snorlax as I am her pillow” “we’re all each other’s pillow but mostly Morgan’s” just then Morgan woke up hearing what Mischa said. “Hey..I heard that..” “Ah good morning my dear Morgan” “morn N/N also explain Mischa” “Mischa I’m not wrong! You literally sleep anywhere you can!” “Mischa you left us!!” Y/N saw three more of their friends.
Florentino a Colombian tattoo artist. He is a very chil older brother figure who gives most of Y/N’s idea for their dolls and toys which Y/N appreciates. Lillian a belurasian stylist who loves to make stuffed animals but sucks at it. Y/N teaches her how to make them as Lillian in her own words ‘doesn’t wanna bother them every single day when she wants a stuffed animal’ but in reality,Y/N wouldn’t mind that. Fernando a Salvadoran man who is a website maker for random patterns for clothes,makeup,toys,stuffed animals,and bags for others who need it. Y/N was the first tester for his website.
“Y’all ran off!” “Ah! Those two did,I was supervising them” Fernando pointed at the shorter male and taller women. Florentino gasped dramatically while Lillian acted very dramatically as if she had just been harmed making Y/N,Mischa,and Morgan chuckle. “I’m offended!” “You’ve wounded me my dearest Fernando” yeah yeah! Let’s get something to eat I’m HELLA hungry!” Y/N smiled as they all started to walk to the car. Their very happy they haven’t told these five the truth of why they always have ‘fake blood’ as they would scare them away!
Y/N can’t let them know that their a killer! They just gotta use the lie that their cosplaying for cover which works pretty well but hey when none of your friends are into true crime and all cosplay they believe anything pretty fast.
Oh how little old Y/N’s world is going to crash all around them~
Y/N had romantic partners yes but it wasn’t needed as they never loved anyone but they wanted to test out the waters. Each partner was harmful and they hated them completely. They always admire the true lovers who were devoted to each other which makes them happy in a way. People actually love others but they knew love wasn’t for them at all.them,they all were just pawns in their game. Y/N was disgusted by the way the people loved each other. Y/N always admired the true romantic love,when their both completely devoted to each other and not even daring to go down the path to use it against the person or cheat so Y/N was always happy for them. Each lover they had was just to test out the waters but it never ended right as they tried to use the love against them. Y/N was right romantic love was completely useless and was a weapon to others.
Currently in present time Y/N is smiling down as they run a had through their dearest friend,Morgan who was laying her head on their lap smiling as she sleeps. “Aye,you two never apart Eh?” Y/N looked up to see Mischa. “What can I say? She’s a sleepy girl and I am her pillow” “Arent we all each other’s pillow?” “Yes but Morgan is mostly snorlax and I’m just the closest pillow she has” “hey…” the two looked down to see an awaken Morgan putting. “Sorry but their right” “Mhm…where’s the others? Weren’t they with you?” “Fuckers ran off and I came back here thinking they were with you” “
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fairyhaos · 1 year ago
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oh nooooo I saw you talking about me again I'm so shy 👉🏻👈🏻 LMAOO glad to be of service 🫡 I'm a weak girl for boys with pretty lips so I'm glad that's the first impression you got of me. I started following you around the time people were guessing your svt bias and can't believe that was ever a topic of conversation because you're so joshushu coded??? Like can't imagine anything else. Also now that I've been more active I missed your little ramblings while you were taking a break they always make me giggle 🤭
- 🍒
lmaooo i will Never shut up about u don't worry 🫡 any time anyone asks me about my inbox interactions, you're gonna be a must-have on that list haha
also no way???? that means u were around for the original fairyhaos layout which ngl,,, feels like ages ago now. can't believe ive only been around for like 200ish days bc it feels like ive been here since forever
also omg i remember those days!!!! the entire yena bias fiasco was SOOOO funny to me bc joshua's been my bias since the beginning of time and watching everyone get it hilariously wrong,,,, peak comedy fr! also did you think i was a joshushushu since day 1 or is it just a now thing 🤨 (bc tbh rn Nobody can deny im a vv firm joshua bias haha)
no way u and me being more active at around the same time????????? pls i literally mean it sososo much when i tell people that i missed being here :( having no platform to spam joshua pictures on was getting to me fr 💔
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bratkook · 4 years ago
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right now. (m) jjk.
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not yet, almost , right now
pairing. jungkook x reader genre. fluff, smut, idiots to lovers!! word count. 14.8k warnings. two mega fucking idiots<33, miscommunication/dumb assumptions, smut in forms of: fingering, oral sex (f.), orgasm denial, spanking, some spit bc duh, unprotected sex, super sweet & lovey!! also jungkook is a sweetheart pls love him summary. coming to terms with your feelings after getting off to the idea of your close friend is a little harder than you thought, but how long can you take before jungkook decides its time to move on? note. did jlin forget how to write for a few weeks? yes, yes she did....i know this took a long time but life is rough man so forgive me... but anyways lol the final part to the not yet!verse is hereeeee! thank you to @kithtaehyung​ for reading this over for me ily!! thank you guys for enjoying this mini series, the response was really unexpected but im sososo happy over every comment/ask i’ve gotten for this story. once again, tysm for your love and let me know what you think<3
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The evening sun illuminates Jungkook’s apartment, golden hour bouncing off every reflective surface and straight into his eyes the second he walks in, immediately squinting as he makes a beeline to shut the blinds. His head was already throbbing from the hangover that decided to peak around noon, a mean case of nausea putting a damper on his work day. So as much as he loved soaking in some vitamin D today was not the day. 
“Are you joking?” he huffs as he brings down the blinds, hand yanking at the flimsy string in an attempt to get it unstuck. “How stup—you’d think with the amount I pay every month in rent the blinds would work!” 
Alright, so maybe he was a little grumpy today, choosing to take it out on an inanimate object and blame it purely on the bad decisions made last night—definitely had nothing to do with the residual moping of you going on a date. This could be fixed, easily. 
The first order of business? Texting you to see if you’d be interested in devouring greasy food from your favorite place down the street. He’d get to see you and finally put something in his stomach, it’s the best of both worlds really. 
Jungkook forgets about the blinds, leaving them stuck in the awkward position as he walks away entirely, fishing his phone out of his pocket while he enters his room. It’s the same text he always sends when he’s hangry: If I don’t get food in the next 15 mins I'm burning this place down and taking you with me. 
He knows the response he’ll get, either that meme of the child in front of a burning house or an equally hangry paragraph. The phone gets tossed onto his bed as he changes out of his work clothes, needing to dispose of the business casual attire that was suffocating him, his old college hoodie giving him the comfort he needs. 
By the time he’s finally slipping on his sneakers he’s expecting you to come knocking on his door, your impatient attitude always putting a smile on his face. Half of the time your neighbors thought you were having arguments from the way you’d pound onto the slab of wood, saying his name with just enough annoyance laced into each syllable it would fool anyone into thinking you were actually upset instead of being a brat. But when that never comes, he reaches for his phone again. 
A few notifications fill up his screen, some instagram direct message previews, his group chat that he never responded to, and a few emails coming through, but you had yet to respond. Maybe it’s a little creepy, but Jungkook knows you’re home because he passed by your parked car on his way in. So his mind jumps to two extremes: you were either face down, drowning in your bathtub, or that yellow shades wearing wannabe version of himself was at your place. 
Not an ounce of shame sits within him as he speedwalks to the side his bed was on, placing both palms onto the wall before his ear was pressed against the cold drywall. Jungkook’s not really sure what would make him feel good, hearing you and Jung Hoseok together, or hearing nothing at all. His ears strain to hear anything, but the only sound he gets is his own blood pumping. 
With a small pout he pulls back, deciding he’d play the annoying neighbor role today and pound on your door instead. It’s a role he doesn’t take lightly, knuckles banging on the wood loud enough for you to hear wherever you were in your apartment. It takes a few minutes before any sign of life is shown, your door creaking open, and Jungkook is thankful because he was about to head to the maintenance office to ask for a key in case you actually were drowning in your bathtub. 
“C’mon, let’s get food,” he declares instantly, a charming smile on his face as he stands with his hands stuffed into his jean pockets. The smile slowly falls off when he gets a good look at you, hair looking like a mess on your head and your fluffy blanket draped around you as you give out a weak cough. “Are you sick?”
“I think so,” you rasp out, leaning against your door frame and tugging the blanket tighter around you. 
“Did that fucker give you mono?” Jungkook looks irritated, brows pinched together in a grimace—something you’re definitely not accustomed to seeing so you almost don’t catch his accusation.
“Jungkook, no! It’s nothing serious.”
He doesn’t look fully convinced, but he shrugs anyways, positive you weren’t interested in getting interrogated when you were feeling under the weather. “Alright, let me know if you need me to drive you to the doctor if it becomes something serious.”
With a roll of your eyes and a small smile, you wave him off, slowly shutting the door behind you. Your eye immediately peeks through your peephole, not relaxing until he makes his way down the hall and enters the elevator, still on his quest for greasy food. 
“God, how old are you?” you grumble to yourself, yanking the blanket off your body and onto the floor with a huff. Pretending to be sick to avoid your friend was a new low, especially after the post-orgasm epiphany you had last night. A sane person would come to terms with their feelings and confess to them, uncertainty and possible rejection be damned! But you? No, you have to fake a cold like the giant coward you are. 
The guilt only deepens when a knock comes from your door an hour later, a quick peek through your peephole allowing you to see Jungkook setting two plastic bags on the floor before stepping back and walking to his apartment next door. You don’t come out until you hear his door shut, seeing the logo of your favorite diner down the street. No doubt would your comfort meal be inside the takeaway container. 
It takes all you have to not rush over to his place and say you were lying when you see he had also gone ahead and got you cold medication, a few different bottles because he surely didn’t know which was best, along with teas and some cough drops. 
You’re a dirty liar. A horrible friend too. 
That doesn’t stop you from devouring the meal in the takeout box as you’re hunched over your breakfast bar like a little gremlin. “This is just for today,” you mumble out to yourself as you set the plastic fork down and chug some of the leftover alcohol you had in your fridge. It’s your own version of a pity party, except the food feels heavy in your stomach, knowing the man you were avoiding was the one who bought it—bring on the guilt. 
“I’ll talk to him tomorrow.”
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You’re a dirty liar and horrible friend 2.0. Why this time? Because tomorrow stretched out a few more days than planned. It wasn’t entirely intentional at first, getting stuck at work longer than usual and missing the weekly hangout at your place where you got your remote covered in cheeto dust as you argued over what to watch. But it trickled down onto shorter replies to his texts, or you scrambling out of your apartment and into the elevator so fast in order to not run into him, your mind still trying to list all the pros and cons to this potential relationship before you even had the guts to confess to your feelings. 
Jungkook didn’t know thats what was occupying your mind, no he was currently thinking the worst. He notices the change instantly, recognizing it because this was the exact way you had acted while you were with Hajoon, right before you broke the news to him that you needed to keep some distance while you focused on your relationship. So Jungkook automatically assumes that your sudden change in behavior after going on a single date with Jung Hoseok, was because you wanted to make your relationship with this man work. 
His assumption stings—a lot actually—and soon enough he stops initiating conversations altogether. He didn’t want to hear you tell him you had to distance yourself again, he’s not sure his heart could handle that a second time, so he decides to get ahead of the curb and take a massive step away from you. It hurts him to know you’re right next door, and just like before, it’s like you’re back to being total strangers. 
Safe to say Jungkook was currently going on his own downward spiral. 
You could text him like nothing had happened and he’d accept it with open arms, but instead you text your best friend an SOS text, begging her to meet you at your place. She calls you dramatic at first, but once you say it’s about Jungkook she shows up at your place in record time. 
“Did you finally fuck him?” Is her greeting of choice, spoken shamelessly from the hallway with no worry about her volume. She cackles when you yank the bottle of wine from her grasp and tug her into your apartment, letting the door slam behind her. 
“You’re lucky he’s not home you bitch.” An eye roll is her only response, yanking the bottle back and making her way into your kitchen to grab the opener. 
“So you didn’t fuck him?” The cork pops at her question, a curious glance staring you down as she pours the red liquid into an oversized cup. 
“No Seulgi, I didn’t fuck him. But I did...something.” It makes your face warm up as you remember it, gratefully grabbing the cup she hands your way because you definitely need some liquid courage before confessing to your sins.
She hums in thought as she raids your pantry for something to munch on, settling on a bag of mini pretzels before leading you to your couch, needing to know the gossip that led to your sos text. “Okay, did you accidentally send him a nude then?”
“No, that wouldn’t be so bad I think?” Sending him an accidental nude would be laughable, probably resolved by a few screaming texts and dumb jokes before moving on. But new feelings seeing the light of day seemed so much worse. “But I sort of kissed him at a club a few weeks ago to get back at Hajoon—long story,” you cut in when you see her ready to fire off questions. 
“And then I went on that failed Tinder date I told you about, and when I got home I sort of heard him, you know,”— you mimic a jerking off motion with your hand and ignore her lewd gasp, “and then I…” you trail off shamefully. 
“No!” she gasps even louder, hand pressed to her mouth and eyes wide. 
“Yes! And the fucking orgasm opened my eyes and made me realize that maybe that tiny crush you guys always joke about him having is real, and maybe I have a tiny crush on him too.”
“Does he know?”
“That I like him?”
“No, that you rubbed one out while listening to him you dirty slut!” Oh she’s loving this, leaning back into your cushions with a handful of pretzels resting on her boobs, a sly smile on her lips as she takes a sip of her wine. She’s the one who planted the seed in your mind, playfully joking about Jungkook any chance she got, saying he had the hots for you because she enjoyed the flustered look on your face. No doubt would she text the group chat with the news the second you finish this cry for help. 
“Do you think I told him? I can barely come to terms with the fact that I like him. Like what am I supposed to do?”
She sighs dramatically, munching on the final pretzel on her tits before sitting up and dusting off the crumbs from her shirt. “Look, I know you’re just realizing that he likes you so this is still new and fresh for you, but we’ve noticed it for years. It’s fine that you didn’t see it, you had other things occupying your mind.” 
You frown as you stare at the rug beneath your feet, remembering how life was when you first moved into this complex. Getting out of a previous relationship weeks prior, when you had met Jungkook your mind was not interested in pursuing anything with him regardless of how cute you thought he was. It made it easier for you to form a friendship, not worried about trying to impress him, or flirt with him, allowing him to see you for who you truly are. 
Jungkook had his fair share of girlfriends during the years, none of which were entirely serious but by the time he was completely single you had met Hajoon, and he had accepted the fact that maybe you were better off as friends and he would just admire you from afar. That is, until you decided to plant one on him. So technically this is your fault. 
“Jungkook likes you okay, and I’m sure if you just marched next door and told him you like him too he’ll drop on one knee and marry you.”
“Shut up,” you snort, shoving her shoulder with a smile. 
“As a matter of fact, go over there right now!” She stands up from her spot, yanking your arms to haul you up with her. 
“I told you, he’s not home. But, I’ll tell him. I have to.”
Seulgi crosses her arms over her chest as she stares at you, clearly displeased that she wouldn’t be witness to this love story unfolding in real time. “You better. You never know what sneaky little bitch is trying to get him to get over you.”
The sneaky little bitch in question is Park Jimin, currently sitting directly across from Jungkook, guzzling down beer like his life depends on it. It's impressive really, how quickly he empties the cup, eyes shut looking as content as could be even in the dim lighting. Jungkook can only watch with a grimace as his friend sets the glass down and wipes at his mouth with no sense of table manners. 
“What?” he burps, proceeding to pour more of the golden liquid into his cup from the pitcher in the middle of the table. 
“I always forget how absolutely disgusting you are. How do you do it?” Jimin just frowns at the question, not entirely understanding so Jungkook continues. “What switch do you flip to go from sipping champagne to chugging beer like a fucking biker.”
“It’s a talent, I know.” He smiles wide, reaching forward to grip Jungkook’s hand and force him to grab his own cup. Condensation was pooling around the bottom from sitting there untouched, and that just wouldn’t do on Jimin’s watch. “C’mon, drink it!”
“Fine,” Jungkook grumbles, raising the glass and allowing Jimin to clank the cups together before taking a big gulp. He doesn’t clear the cup like his friend did seconds prior but it's enough to appease him. It tastes absolutely bitter the whole way down, settling into his stomach uncomfortably, and the look on his face as he pushes the glass away from him is very telling. 
Boisterous shouts fill the sports bar they were in, huddles of people surrounding the tables and booths as they watched the current soccer match playing on the televisions lining the walls. Jungkook honestly feels like a debby downer now, moping in his seat instead of enjoying the atmosphere with his friend like they normally did. The current game was definitely not the reason Jungkook had texted Jimin to grab drinks, no he needed an outlet to talk about you—preferably in a space that didn’t have walls as thin as his apartment.  
When he barely acknowledges the plate of wings set in front of him Jimin huffs, resisting the urge to dig in because he knew once he did he wouldn’t be able to focus on anything else. “Are you gonna be like this the entire time?”
“Like what?” Jungkook has the gall to ask, acting as if he wasn’t looking like a wounded animal. 
“Like you just discovered your wife of ten years is having an affair with your sister.”
He sits up straighter at that, eyes wide in disbelief. “Jesus.“
Jimin knew the jist of what was happening through the texts he had received the past week, but it seems like Jungkook didn’t want to jump into the topic of it at all now that they were sitting across from each other. He just sighs before deciding to be honest, wasting no time beating around the bush to hopefully be the voice of reason Jungkook needs. “You’ve been simping over her for years JK, and I get it, you think she could be the one. But what about you huh? It’s not fair for you to have your heart wrung out each time she gets a man and decides to put the friendship on pause—“
“That happened once!” He defends, brows pinched on his forehead as he shakes his head, ready to explain your situation because he wasn’t a fan of hearing his friend say anything about you when he didn’t truly know what happened. “The dude was a piece of shit and basically told her it was him or me. I’m not gonna crucify her for wanting a long term relationship to work.”
“Right, so she’s not icing you out again because she got a new man? That’s literally what you told me, it’s why I bought you this sympathy pitcher of beer!”
“Fuck you, you bought this pitcher for yourself.” Jimin had chugged two giant glasses of beer already, and was steadily working on his third, whereas Jungkook’s watered down cup remained relatively untouched. “Besides, I was just...spiraling and assumed when I sent you that desperate text. But I haven’t heard anything.”
Jimin can only stare blankly at the table as he processes what was just said before locking eyes with his friend once more, “Sorry, what? You haven’t heard anything? The hell kind of riddle is that.”
Jungkook sinks into the booth with a look of shame, not wanting to admit to occasionally laying in his bed at night in complete and total silence just to see if he could hear you and the hypothetical version of Jung Hoseok doing literally anything. It’s not one of his proudest moments, feeling like a bit of a creeper as he laid stiff on his bed, too scared to make a sound.  “Nothing, forget about it. Point is, I haven’t seen the fucker come in or out of her place, so what does that mean?”
A deep sigh comes from Jimin, hand reaching forward to push the beer closer to Jungkook, desperately trying to get him to drink and ease up. “It means you pay far too much attention to her. When was the last time you got any action?”
Two weeks ago. From his hand and filthy imagination. 
“A few months,” he grumbles, remembering his last hook up that happened a few days before he discovered you got dumped. 
“Get outta here.” Jimin rolls his eyes as he points to the door. “Literally, go stand at the corner outside, show some thighs or a tattooed titty and take your pick of the swarm of girls that will surely follow you.”
Jungkook thinks he’s joking, but when his friend doesn’t drop his hand and narrows his eyes threateningly he knows he’s being serious. “My tits aren’t even tattooed,”—his large palms press against his shirt covered chest as if to prove a point— “And you sound like a douchebag talking like this.”
“What? She went on a tinder date and definitely got laid, so you need to even out the playing field. Also, it might help you chill the hell out.”
“Oh my god, you’re not helping.” Jungkook really didn’t need that visual again, it had flashed in his mind too often the night of his pity party and now it was once again at the front of his brain. 
“Alright, okay. I’m throwing out my safe word right now.” Jimin leans closer, arms resting on the table with a confused look on his face. “What do you need from me here? Like, do I play the role of a supportive friend who wants you to get over her, or do I play the role of a friend who wants you to confess? Because you’re giving me some mixed signals Jeon.”
A groan escapes Jungkook, fingers rubbing at his eyes before dragging down his face as he sinks even further into his seat. “I don’t know.” 
It’s the truth. Jungkook had no idea what he wanted his friend to do to help him. He knew that although his feelings for you have weighed heavy on his chest for what seems like years, you technically had no idea, so he feels a little guilty over his frustration for the whole situation. You were newly single again and determined to go through this self proclaimed wild phase so Jungkook isn’t dumb enough to think you can’t go out and do whatever you want, even if that means being with someone who isn’t him. 
“Look,” Jimin sighs, pulling him out of his thoughts. “You only have two choices here, tell her how you feel and accept whatever comes with it, or make peace with the idea of just being friends. Either way, I think you need to loosen up and have fun tonight.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” Jungkook sits himself up, wrapping his fingers around the cup in an effort to at least look like he wanted to be here. He couldn’t sit here and mope about a problem like this when he hadn’t attempted to come out and tell you how he feels. 
One night of loosening up to get you off his mind wouldn’t hurt, if anything it might help him come to his senses. At least that’s what Jimin was currently whispering with a mischievous smile on his lips. “It’ll be fine, I’ll make sure you don’t black out and get home safe. Who knows, you might get plastered enough to drunk text your confession.”
Jungkook glares at his friend, not liking the goofy look on his face as he starts to laugh. “I swear to god, you better not let me get to that point. Take my phone away from me.”
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Jimin obviously wants to see the world burn, or at least he enjoys it when Jungkook somehow digs himself into his own grave. That's exactly why he responds with a million laughing emojis when Jungkook texts him asking why the hell he hadn’t taken his phone last night. 
He did a good job hiding his shock when a knock came from his front door, half expecting it to be you, keeping a smile on his face as he allowed  the person who was very clearly not you in before swiftly entering his bathroom. Jungkook wants to stay locked here forever, holed up while he sits on his toilet and not in the living room with company. It wasn’t like it was bad company either, his drunken ass going through his contact list and sending an invitation to hangout the following day to the last person he spoke to, Aillie. 
The girl is sweet, someone he had a casual fling with for months, someone who was used to his random texts so she doesn’t think twice before agreeing. The only silver lining to this was that he hadn’t sent you a typo-filled drunken confession, which is what Jimin responds with before telling him to suck it up and leave his bathroom. 
Jungkook accepts his fate, as well as accepting that he is partially responsible for this. He shoves his device back into his pockets before standing up and flushing the toilet for show, washing his hands just to stall. One good glance at his reflection makes him cringe, stained shirt and sweats combo leaves him looking like the unprepared mess he is. Another detour through his room to change was a must before he has no choice but to step back out. 
“You’re totally hung over aren’t you?” Aillie jokes from her spot on the couch, comfortable enough in his apartment from the time spent here. She locks her phone as she stands up, taking her time to really look Jungkook over. He was not dressed like someone who was expecting a guest, and despite having seen Jungkook at his sloppiest, his previous attire of oversized shirt and slightly stained sweatpants didn’t look like someone who was expecting a fuck buddy to pop over. Even with his new outfit looking more put together, it was obvious Jungkook was caught off guard by her showing up. 
“What?” Jungkook dumbly asks, trying to come up with some lame excuse to justify his earlier appearance but he falls short. His fingers gently rake through his hair, a grimace falling on his face as he looks back up at her. “Actually, a little. Sorry, I got drunk last night when I text you so sober me was not really prepared.”
“Yeah I figured, you sent me some blurry selfies right after. But we can just hang, we don’t have to do anything,” she trails off, a soft smile on her lips. The only time they ever hung out was to hook up, having ten minute conversations before and after the fact. “Or I can leave too if it's weird that I’m here.” 
Jungkook is shaking his head before she can even finish, already feeling bad enough after texting her to come over. How shitty would he be if he immediately kicked her out. This was fine, a nice distraction from it all, decent middle ground that would help him get his mind off you without having to take Jimin’s douchebag advice. 
“No, we can watch a movie or something. It’s not like I have other plans.” Had this been two weeks ago it would be a totally different story. Jungkook would typically be waiting in his apartment as he stared at the slowly ticking clock, just waiting for it to strike 7:30 because that's when you usually got home. Then he’d either get a text from you to come over with snacks or you’d show up at his door and invite yourself over for the weekly game night. 
It didn’t happen last week, or the week prior, so Jungkook is very confident that it would not be happening today either. It’s that same sense of confidence—and saltiness—that allows him to get comfortable with Aillie, blissfully unaware that you had just pulled into the parking garage a few stories below. 
“I swear to god if you don’t go straight to his door the minute you get off the elevator I will never let you live it down.” Seulgi’s voice fills your car through the speakers, fading out as you shut the car off and bring your phone to your ear to continue the conversation. 
“Dude, I just got off work. I need to make myself look decent.” Plastic bags rustle together as you grab the snacks you had picked up on your way home, all full of yours and Jungkook's favorite treats. It was definitely a guilt fueled purchase, hoping the items were enough to distract him from the fact that you were kind of a bitch for ghosting him recently, or at least butter him up into accepting your apology easier. 
“You think Jungkook cares if you’re a little sweaty from work? He’s a grown man, that’s not gonna stop him from going do—“
“Okay, goodbye!” You hastily cut her off as you press the elevator button, hearing her rambling off about being interrupted. “I’m about to get on the elevator, I’ll tell you how it goes.”
With a small sigh you hang up and stuff the device into your purse, stepping onto the lift as the doors open up and pressing the number for your floor. Your hands are clammy as you grip the plastic bag, uncharacteristically nervous about seeing Jungkook again after so long. 
The main obstacle for you to get over was apologizing for being a crappy friend, and if that went well you were going to suck it up and just come out and confess, the odds of him saying no were slim. And even if he did, you’re perfectly content with staying friends, as long as you could keep him close. 
It’s that same optimistic mentality that allows you to calm down as you enter your place and decide to give yourself a minute to mentally prepare. His favorite ice cream gets put into the freezer for later before you decide to shower and give yourself a pep talk the entire time. 
This pep talk of yours is filled with best case scenarios: Jungkook accepting the confession with open arms, finally being able to kiss him properly, everything falling into place the way it should have a long time ago. And as you head over, totally sober, freshly washed, looking and smelling your best, you really can’t picture this going any other way. 
With a deep breath you’re knocking on his front door, quickly pulling back your hand and wiping it onto your pants as you step back. Jungkook hears the knock clearly from his spot on the couch, his gaze tearing away from the television to stare at his front door with a small frown. He hadn’t ordered any food and Aillie had just excused herself to use his bathroom so his brain is having a hard time wondering who it could be. 
He curses under his breath, not putting it past himself to have texted a second person last night with an invitation to hang out. Why was Jungkook a friendly drunk?
As he presses his eye against the peephole and spots you standing there, he thinks he’s imagining things. It had seemed like so long since he had last seen you in person, and the warped fish-eyed version of you has him stepping back and rubbing his eyes before taking another glance. He suddenly feels like throwing up, and he can’t blame his earlier hangover on it. 
For a brief second he contemplates pretending he hadn’t heard you, but the guilt of doing so makes his heart twist, so he musters up the courage to open the door. It’s barely a crack really, just enough for you to see him while still concealing his apartment, something you definitely found strange because you’re usually flinging the door open and strutting right in, but you suppose his reaction is warranted considering your previous behavior. 
“Y/N, hey. Are you alright?”
“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine!” Your fingers tangle together in front of you, not entirely sure what to do with your nerves and Jungkook spots it easily. His own nerves sky rocket when he hears the sound of running water coming from his bathroom a few feet away, knowing Aillie would most likely pop out any second now, and he’s not sure why it feels like a dirty secret that he has another girl over. 
“Did you need something?”
“Yeah, I was actually wanting to talk to you about something kind of important.” Your smile is hopeful, despite the nerves swirling in your eyes. The nervous skip of your heart is felt in your throat, not remembering the last time you had felt this way about telling someone how you felt about them romantically. 
“Right now?” he wonders, fingers gripping the door handle tighter when he hears his bathroom door unlock, the sound of footsteps rounding the corner before stepping into the living room, a few feet away from the door and in perfect view of the wedge Jungkook had opened. 
When your eyes flicker over his shoulder, spotting the auburn haired girl giving you a curious glance, you feel all your confidence slip away. Seulgi had definitely been right about needing to confess soon, Jungkook was a catch and just because you hadn’t realized it sooner didn’t mean the rest of the world was blind to it. 
“Yeah, right now...but you’re busy, so it’s fine!” You want to scramble away from there, feeling dumb the longer you stand there. Jungkook wants to say he’s not busy, kick the girl out of his place and invite you in but that wouldn’t be fair to her, for all he knew your important conversation would be a repeat of the conversation you had over Hajoon, and he really didn't want to get friendship dumped while this girl was in his apartment. He’s pretty sure his Yelp rating would drop a bit if he cried on the couch about you to his old hook up. 
He starts to speak but you cut him off before he can, “Don’t worry about it! I’ll see you later.” You force a smile before walking away, not allowing him to get a word in as you quickly step into your apartment and move to the furthest room away from your bedroom. 
You can feel the cold of your kitchen floor as you sit on your butt, back against your cabinets, the small twinge of defeat spreading within you. “This is fine. Maybe she’s just a friend. I can always tell him tomorrow,” you whisper out. But your fingers seem to think otherwise as they type out a message to Seulgi, informing her that the mission was unsuccessful and you’d be putting on The Notebook like you always did. It was basically protocol to do so when things went south in your life. 
She doesn’t even know how to console you, knowing she can’t tell you it was his loss or that he wasn’t worth it because she knows that’d be a lie and you wouldn’t believe it for a second. The only thing she can offer is coming over, but you’re quick to turn her down, deciding that being alone in the comfort of your bed as you inhaled the ice cream you bought for Jungkook would be best. 
Is being in your room the wisest choice when you know you share a wall with Jungkook—and he has a cute girl over? No. Probably not. But you figure if you hear anything explicit it’s just your dose of karma, so you accept it, turning up the volume of the movie a few levels just to soften the blow. 
However, Jungkook would definitely not be hooking up with her in his bedroom, or anywhere in his apartment for that matter. Luckily Aillie is blessed with the gift of reading the damn room and can easily spot the shift in Jungkook’s mood the second he shuts the door. She’s sitting on the edge of the couch now, hands gently placed on her knees as she gives him a sympathetic smile. 
“I get the vibe that somethings off.”
He looks up at her then, slowing his pace until he’s awkwardly standing in the middle of the room with his hands shoved deep into his pockets. “My friend—my neighbor just wanted to talk about something. But everything’s fine.”
The lie tastes bitter on his tongue, and Aillie doesn’t believe him in the slightest. A small sigh fills the air as she stands up, collecting her bag and approaching him. “Look, I know deep talks really aren’t our thing so I’m not going to even try to dive into this, but you should go talk to your friend.”
A comforting hand is placed on his shoulder before she makes her way to the door to leave, Jungkook already following closely behind her. “No, you don’t have to go. You came all this way because I texted you with way too much tequila in my system.”
“Jungkook,” she laughs, opening the door with a smile. “You’re way too sweet for your own good. It was nice seeing you though.” Her eyes slowly move over to your front door before looking back at him, head cocking to the side in a very clear indication that he better go over. He can only nod in understanding, waving her goodbye and shutting the door once she heads down to the elevator. 
The action sounds of the movie they were watching continues to fill his apartment, whatever chaos was going on only making his brain whirl so he’s quick to grab the remote and shut it off entirely. Now he’s just stuck in complete silence, wondering if he should quickly make his way over to yours or play it calm and collected. 
The total silence allows him to hear the muffled mumbling of a movie he knew all too well. It draws him in, lures him into his bedroom until he’s kneeling on the mattress with his ear pressed against the wall to properly make it out. You were watching the Notebook, at a concerning volume, which could mean a number of things. Jungkook knew none of them were good, usually rooted in issues you had with your ex, or a tough day at work, or any particular day where you just felt like crying. 
With a deep breath, he’s slowly knocking along his wall, almost experimentally, hoping it's enough to grab your attention through the current scene playing. For a second he thinks maybe you’ve fallen asleep while watching the film, but then the room falls silent as you pause it entirely. 
Your hearts racing now, ears straining to hear anything else and hoping this wasn’t how the beginning of the explicit noises would start, but then another knock comes from behind you. It makes you gasp, like you’ve just been caught being the nosey neighbor you are, hearing the soft scrape of his hand sliding down the wall. The ice cream gets put onto your nightstand as you sit up properly, forcing yourself out of the mountain of pillows you were practically suffocating in and turning around to knock back.
Jungkook’s palm presses back onto the wall, smiling at your response before fishing his phone out of his pocket. His fingers find your thread of messages, further down the list than he was used to, and as he opens them up and sees the string of unanswered texts dating back to two weeks ago, it stings just like it did before. He pushes his pride aside though, knowing you had wanted to talk today in person, so he proceeds to quadruple text you. 
Jungkook 8:44pm : are you seriously watching the notebook again?
You’re unlocking your phone the second it buzzes, smiling at the dimly lit screen before typing out a response. 
Y/N 8:45pm : shut up, it’s my comfort movie
Y/N 8:45pm : do you wanna watch it with me? for old times sake
The device is locked and placed face down onto your sheets the second you hit send, sinking into the pillows once again as you try not to scream at yourself because you know he’ll hear you. Why would you invite him over when he clearly has company? You had seen her with your own eyes, had seen how cute she is, had seen how cute Jungkook is, it doesn’t take a genius to put two and two together. 
Jungkook is quick though, texting back in agreement and heading over instantly. If you were watching your comfort movie then Jungkook wanted to make sure you were okay. Putting the past two weeks behind him, knowing you’d most likely have a good enough explanation—an explanation he would definitely be needing before the night was over—he’s knocking on your door before you can even check your messages. 
It takes you a minute to untangle your limbs from your covers as you hastily try to get to your door, sock clad feet sliding along your wooden floors when you finally yank the door open. Jungkook wears a soft smile as he stares down at you, taking note that you had switched your outfit to your usual sad movie binge attire of baggy shirt and lounge shorts. His eyes zero in on your lips when he notices there's something lingering at the corner of them. 
“So, are you gonna share whatever the hell that is?” His finger points at it smugly, laughing when your tongue peeks out to wipe it away. 
“It was actually meant to be for you.” Stepping aside, you let him enter your place. Jungkook almost feels a little strange being here after the weird few weeks, but he pushes it aside, just wanting things to feel normal. 
“Does that mean there’s no more left?” His eyes playfully narrow at you as you step closer, moving on to stare at the kitchen table, and the coffee table in search of the tub of ice cream that supposedly had his name on it. The earlier nerves you felt slowly fade away when you realize he’s not visibly upset about what happened, but it only makes your guilt deepen that despite your ability to be a crummy friend, Jungkook would still try his best to come through for you. 
“There’s about half of it left, it’s probably a little soft now though.” You side step him to enter the kitchen, grabbing an extra spoon and handing it over as a peace treaty, smiling when he gratefully accepts it. “C’mon, I paused the movie.”
Jungkook is not a stranger to your bedroom, especially when sappy movies were playing, finding his spot easily on the right side where he typically handed you tissues whenever you cried. The tissues were missing this time, in place of them being the bag of snacks you had bought, his ice cream on the other nightstand. 
“What part are you on?” he asks, settling onto the bed after fluffing up the pillows, waving his hands so you could pass the tub of ice cream his way. 
“It just started raining on the boat.” Jungkook hums, scooping out some of the chocolate ice cream and into his mouth. He knew this scene very well, and when you press play, he mentally repeats all of the lines. Just as Noah declares he wrote her 365 letters, you awkwardly clear your throat, your own spoon slowly sneaking over to his side to steal some ice cream for yourself. 
“I’m sorry if I made things awkward with your date.” Your voice sounds timid, something he’s not used to hearing from you at all, so he chuckles, laughing harder when you swat at his arm. “I’m serious, I should have texted you before just showing up.”
“Really? When have you ever done that before?” The two of you never notified the other when they wanted to show up, Jungkook had even given you the code to his place once when he was at work and you were desperate for some fruity pebbles—you used that code to your advantage and Jungkook never hated it. But all things considered, it's fair why you think you would have to give him a heads up. 
“You didn’t make it awkward though.” It’s not the complete truth, you coming over is what had made Aillie decide to leave, but Jungkook had to take most of the credit for it. “I kinda made it awkward from the beginning.”
“Why, what happened?”
“I went out last night with Jimin“ —you immediately hum in understanding, knowing very well how convincing Jimin could be with alcohol— “and apparently I texted her to hang out today, had no recollection, so when she showed up I was definitely not ready.”
“Damn, this is how I know you’re a better person than I am. If that happened to me, the second I checked my peephole and saw someone I didn’t remember inviting over, I’m gonna pretend I’m not home.”
“Yeah well, she lives like an hour away so I’d feel like an ass if I did that. Don’t think I’ll be talking to her again any time soon though.” He sighs in thought, gently tapping his spoon on the surface of the softening ice cream. There was one thing weighing heavy on his mind, needing to know what important thing you had to talk to him about, wondering if you were actually going to friendship dump him earlier and he had just made it worse by coming over and hanging out like old times. 
He doesn’t want to come right out and ask it though, not wanting to set himself up for an awkward conversation in case that wasn’t what you wanted to talk about, so he settles for something safe enough that would allow him to get a glimpse. 
“So how are things with Hoseok?” Yeah, that’s a good start. 
“Huh?” Your spoon freezes in its spot, face clearly looking confused in the dim glow of the television, the movie long forgotten now that you were speaking. 
“Tinder guy? Yellow sunglasses guy that gave you mono?” 
It suddenly clicks again, having forgotten all about Jung Hoseok the second you had gotten home from the failed date and came to terms with your feelings. Your lie of having a cold must have been believable enough for Jungkook to genuinely think he had given you something like mono. 
“He didn’t give me mono!” Jungkook rolls his eyes with a playful smile, humming along like he totally believes you. “But I didn’t tell you?”
He frowns as he stares at you, not entirely sure how to take your tone. “Tell me what? That you’re engaged and the wedding is in June?”
“No way,” you laugh, swatting his spoon away with a clank as you grab some ice cream before shoving it in your mouth, fighting against the brain freeze to continue speaking. “Our date was a bust.”
“How? Was it that bad?” He desperately wanted to know, having convinced himself the date had gone spectacularly well and you were now an exclusive item. The small twinge of guilt is felt when he realizes he’s a little too happy that the date had been a failure, but he allows himself to have this small, tiny victory. 
“Mm, it was so good it was bad.” He looks utterly confused, and you don’t blame him, so you elaborate. “He was this perfect gentleman who just wanted to play games, like to the point where he had a notebook where he was tallying our points, and then he walked me to my car and kissed my cheek goodbye.”
“Oh the horror!” Jungkook gasps, setting his spoon down to clutch his heart in dramatics. “How dare he try to romance you with a game night.”
“Jungkook, shut up!” you laugh, finally feeling like everything was right again, sitting in bed with your closest friend as you teased each other. “Look, I’ll give him some credit. The date was nice, he was not the sleazy douchebag his profile made him out to be, and I’m sure he’ll find the perfect girl for him on Tinder. But he clearly wanted something serious and—“
“And you don’t want that right now. It’s fair.” Of course you would turn him down, you had just decided to embark on this new adventure in the single world. It was kind of dumb for Jungkook to assume one date with Tinder Boy would be enough for you to give up your short lived dream. 
You take a steady breath at his words before taking another scoop of ice cream, lips wrapped around the spoon as you slowly pull it out of your mouth. The nerves are trickling back in, making your heart skip and your eyes bounce around. If you don’t come out and say it now, you know you never will.��
Your spoon joins his in the tub of ice cream before you decide to move it back to the nightstand, forcing yourself to look back at him, seeing him turned away as he rummages through the plastic bag full of snacks. “I don’t want that with him.”
Jungkook freezes, the rustling of plastic ceases as his hands come back to his sides and he turns back around. With him. He was the king of jumping to worse case scenarios so his brain has no issues coming to this very horrible conclusion. 
“Have you been talking to Hajoon again?”
“No, Jungkook I haven’t.”
“Are you sure? I’m saying this now, but if you get back with him I will not hesitate to pop him in the face if I run into him in the halls. It’s fair game out there, neutral territory for him to get his ass beat—“
“It’s you.”
His brain short circuits at that, mini versions of himself currently running around and screaming in his head as he tries to make sense of this. The first instinct he has is to crack a joke, to say that he hadn’t been talking to Hajoon again, and laugh it off. But you look a little too vulnerable right now, eyes nervously looking at him and then looking away at his lingering silence. 
“Wait, what?” It’s the only thing he can sputter out, caught off guard by your words, not wanting to say anything else in case the world was cruel enough for him to have completely misheard you. 
“I don’t want that with Tinder Boy or Hajoon, I want it with you.” It gets a little easier saying it a second time, but his reaction is hard to gauge. You had been expecting him to reciprocate the confession instantly, but the longer he looked shocked only made you think that you and Seulgi had been seriously wrong about his supposed crush. 
Jungkook is having a difficult time trying to go from you ghosting him to you suddenly admitting to liking him, the change in emotions not allowing him to say anything he had practiced in the mirror for so long. He can’t come out and give you a speech about how he thinks you’re the one, how you’re obviously a good match together, brain too focused on other details. “How long have you known this?”
“For the past two weeks, but deep down I know it’s been longer.”
His wide eyes glance over at you now, everything slowly clicking into place. “Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?”
“Yes,” you mumble, embarrassed over the way you had acted. The last time you had avoided someone was in elementary school, having a best friend go ask your crush if he likes you while you hid in the bathroom, scared of the answer. “I like you Jungkook and I knew I wouldn’t be able to play it cool. I was scared to say something and have you not feel the same and then have our friendship be weird.”
Jungkook smiles in that adorable way you love, nose scrunching up cutely as he leans closer, large palms coming to cup your cheeks. He has wanted to hear this for so long, and sure, maybe it wasn’t some super romantic confession over a candlelit dinner like he had occasionally dreamed of, but this felt right. 
“You’re so stupid,” he whispers out, thumb softly caressing your cheek as he chuckles, feeling the way your lips turn into a frown at his harmless insult. 
“Jungkook, I’m being serious,” you whine, heart still pounding in your chest. Your hands come up to gently wrap around his wrists, allowing him to continue to squish your cheeks with that endearing look on his face. 
“I’m being serious too Y/N. Did you really think I wouldn’t feel the same?” Jungkook did everything he did with you out of pure friendliness, never expecting to get something in return from it, but there was a small sprinkling of a crush in every one of his actions. “I like you too, and I have for a really long time.”
The relief you feel comes instantly, lips slowly pulling into a smile when you finally have the confidence to look directly into his eyes again. If this is how light you feel after the two weeks spent freaking out, you can only imagine how Jungkook feels. “Really?”
“Yes, really. Now, can I please kiss you?” You’re nodding the second the question leaves his mouth, eyes fluttering shut as his hands glide down to cup your jaw, soft lips slowly pressing against yours. It’s a gentle smack of skin as he pulls back, a smirk on his lips when he opens his eyes, softly rubbing his nose against yours. 
“Wait,” he breathes out, chuckling softly. “Is he still looking?” He has the nerve to repeat the same question that had been the root of your guilt, and when your eyes shoot open and glare at him, he can’t stop the laughter that bubbles out. 
“I hate you,” you mutter out, not an ounce of truth behind it. 
“Mm, no you don’t.” 
His lips find yours again, falling into a steady rhythm, softer and less rushed than the first kiss you had shared at the club. There’s no pounding bass in the background, or the taste of liquor on your lips, but Jungkook prefers it this way. He likes the low hum of the movie continuing to play in the background, the sweetness of the ice cream lingering on your lips when his tongue gently swipes at the seam of them, the way your hands slowly slide around his neck as he deepens each kiss. 
With each shared breath, you slide further down your bed, pulling Jungkook down with you until he’s hovering directly above you. His knees dig into the sheets, one hand pressed beside your head to keep himself stable as you urge him even closer to you. The delicate golden chain he wears kisses your skin, pendant settling onto your chest, the cool sensation is almost enough to distract you as his tongue slowly slips into your mouth. Jungkook groans when you let out a small gasp, your fingers slipping into his hair and tugging gently at the strands by the nape of his neck. 
He wants to remember this kiss instead of the one from the club, embed every gasp you let out into his brain, the way your chest pushes up to feel more of him, how your hands slide down his back, leaving a fiery trail in their path that makes Jungkook shiver. And when you slide your thighs further apart for him, innocently at first, he can’t help it when his lips freeze on yours as you slowly roll your hips upwards. It gives him the same automatic reaction he had gotten at the club, all the blood rushing to his cock instantly, except this time he doesn’t feel the shame he had felt before. There was no ulterior motive to what you were doing, sincerity shown in your confession, shared within each kiss, so Jungkook allows himself to bask in the want he feels for you.
“Y/N,” he groans out when you repeat the action, pulling away from your swollen lips to stare at you through hooded eyes. You’re licking your lips over as your eyes slowly open, a small glimmer evident in them as you tilt your head and pretend to not know what you’re doing.
“What?” you question, leaning up to kiss the edge of his mouth, giggling when he attempts to chase your lips as you pull back, choosing to kiss down his jaw instead. As your tongue gently trails along the side of his neck, you feel the harsh gulp he takes, his fingers bunching up in the sheets beside your head. His neck has always been a weak point for him, turning him into a puddle in seconds, you knew this from the unfiltered conversations you’ve had and it was something you were definitely going to be using to your advantage. 
“You’re doing this on purpose,” he grunts, eyes fluttering shut as you nip at his skin, a visible shiver racking through him. 
“Of course I am,” you hum, letting your hands roam his back, sliding around his front until you’re sneaking past the white fabric of his shirt. When your cool hands meet his skin, he tenses, the muscles on his stomach tightening up as your fingertips trail up his body. You’ve known Jungkook was well defined, lean and toned in all the best places, having seen him shirtless a few times. But being able to touch him like this, feel each stuttered breath and jump of his skin reacting to your touch fueled you. 
Jungkook knows you can feel the racing of his heart now, your palms flat on his chest, each thrum revealing his emotions despite the cool and calm exterior he was trying to have. His hips lower towards yours, resisting the urge to rut into you as you start to suck on his skin. The low hum you let out vibrates against his neck, mixed in with the feeling of your wet lips, and he knows he’s done for. The final blow comes in the form of you swiping your tongue at the blossomed hickey, sweet voice pulling him back to earth as you look at him once more. “I want you Jungkook.”
Oh god, he couldn’t do this. His face pulls into a grimace, begging himself to not instantly cum in his pants at what you just said. How many times has he fantasized about this? Hoped you’d beg him for anything in that same exact voice, dreamed of you kissing and sucking on his skin like you currently were. Jungkook isn’t sure any amount of mental preparation would be enough for this. 
“Say that again please.”
You giggle, finger pushing back a strand of his hair as it falls over his face, tucking it behind his ear. The normal doe eyed look you were accustomed to is nowhere to be found, pupils blown out in lust as he stares at you. Being on the receiving end of this stare fills your stomach with butterflies, the flapping of their wings intensifying as he nudges his nose into yours. 
“I want you.” It’s breathless, spoken so softly through the background noise like a personal secret just for him. Jungkook doesn’t think he’ll ever grow tired of hearing you say it, that much is proven true when you repeat it in between kisses, trailing back up his neck in the same path you had taken until you're speaking the words directly against his lips. He swallows them down greedily, groaning into your mouth when his tongue tangles with yours once more. 
“Fuck, you can have me baby.” He chuckles against your mouth when you start to tug at his shirt, yanking the thin material until he has to pull back and slip the tee off himself. The balled fabric gets tossed aside without a care, dark swirls of ink on his arm fully revealed now, each tattoo reminding you of how long you’ve known him, remembering the two pieces that he had when you first met. When he leans back over you, taking his time trailing kisses down your neck, onto your chest until his own hands are slowly tugging your shirt off of you, you decide there’s other things to focus on besides his glorious tattoos.
“Ah, Jungkook,” you sigh, fingers tangling into his hair when he kisses the swells of your breast, warm tongue sliding over your nipple before his lips are wrapping around it. His large palm gropes the other, thumb flicking over the pebbled bud, smirking when you push your chest further out for him.
“What baby?” He pulls back to blow a gust of cool air on your nipple, the wetness of his saliva making your skin break out into goosebumps. 
“No teasing.”
Jungkook’s laughing now, eyes peering up at you through his lashes. “Oh, you think I’m not gonna tease you after what you did?” He tsks in disapproval as he continues to kiss down your torso, letting his hands trail down your sides, not stopping until he reaches the hem of your shorts. A kiss is placed above your navel as he pulls the shorts down your legs, toying with the waistband of your black underwear. “I’m gonna take my time with you.”
The build up before pleasure will always be your favorite part. The way his hands grip your thighs after tugging your underwear off, fingertips trailing up until his palm is pressing them further apart. It’s impossible to look at him now, the visual of his long hair framing his face as he starts to press wet kisses on your skin is too much to handle. You can feel the warm huff of air when he laughs as your head drops back onto the pillow once more, eyes slipping shut while you wait with anticipation. 
Jungkook wants to comment over how wet you are already, boost his own ego about being able to rile you up with just kissing, but he can see the way you’re already on edge, and he decides he can tease you some more later with what he has in store. Instead, he gives you what you’re mentally pleading him for. Finally pressing his soft lips to your folds, the short gasp you release as his tongue glides up before gently flicking across your clit has him shutting his own eyes, reveling in the way you react to his touch. 
His long fingers spread out your folds before he’s messily spitting onto them, watching the way the glob of saliva trickles down before he’s diving in, falling into the perfect pace with ease. It has your hips rutting up instantly, your hand uncurling its grip from your sheets to travel down your body and find its place tangled in his hair. Jungkook groans against your clit when your fingers grip tightly, yanking the dark strands as the prettiest moan flows out of you. 
“J-just like that, fuck,” you whimper, finally lifting your head up to stare down at him when he latches his lips around your clit and sucks. It sends a spark down your spine, stomach tensing at his rhythm, fully intent to have you fall apart. 
Jungkook wants to push you over the edge, knows he’s talented enough to get you there in record time—he was cocky in the best way—and the way your thighs tremble as he slowly sinks his finger into you proves his point. The slick coating your entrance allows a second finger to slip through with little resistance, a shuddering breath filling the air as he begins to spread his fingers apart, stretching you out in the most delicious way. 
It’s not until his fingers curl up, rubbing along the sweet patch inside of you and you moan out his name, that he realizes he has you right where he wants you. He can’t get himself to look up at you, to see the way your jaw drops as you plead for more. Jungkook knows if his eyes lock with yours too soon he’ll be too weak to be as cruel as he wants to be. 
The pleasure blooms inside you, hips rolling up into his in a way he welcomes, smirk spreading onto his lips when your moans get breathier. He eats you out with determination set in his brows, not satisfied until you’re tightening around his fingers, thighs threatening to close in on either side of his head. The messy way he slurps against you sends you reeling, rutting up into him with need, the wet thump of his fingers blending in with your moans of his name. 
“God, Jungkook, I’m gonna cum.” He believes you, eyes finally opening up to stare at you. The visual is enough to make his cock throb in his pants, your glassy eyed stare locked onto his, chest rising and falling in time with each choked breath. When he playfully winks at you, your walls pulse around him, seconds away from being pushed over the edge, and that’s when he pulls away. 
The warm glow of your orgasm approaching, just about to crest, gets ripped away from you instantly. It makes you gasp, thighs twitching as your hips attempt to push up back towards his mouth, but he’s having none of that. His shiny lips smile up at you innocently, head tilted to slowly kiss your trembling thighs, chuckling at the small cry of frustration you let out. 
“You taste good baby,” he hums, smooching the skin at the juncture of your thighs, circling around your clit without relieving the pressure you felt. The dull ache has your fingers releasing his hair in defeat, a frown etched onto your lips. 
“Jungkook, that’s mean,” you pant, sitting up and resting on your elbows to properly stare at him. 
“A little, but you deserved it don’t you think?” Jungkook didn’t want to tease you too much, he just wanted to get even for the past two weeks. “You could have had me between your thighs every single night if you would’ve said something soon, so I think you can be patient.”
A firm kiss is pressed to your swollen clit and it makes your whole body shudder, your head dropping back as you take a deep breath to control yourself. “I can’t be patient Kook,” you whine, head leveling back out to give him the most convincing stare you can muster. There's that crease between your brows that he likes when you pinch them together, hands gently raking through his hair, teeth pillowing out your lower lip as you bite down onto it. 
“Please, you can torture me later if you want but not now.” Your words have him cocking up his brow, hands once again gripping the meat of your thighs before he crawls back up your body. The feeling of his chain dragging up your skin has you shivering, breath catching in your throat when he hovers inches above you once more. 
“I’ll hold you to that,” he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth before his hand slips between your thighs again. A groan reaches his ears as his fingers circle your clit, covered in your arousal and his saliva, gliding with ease as he works you back to your ruined orgasm. 
His lips find yours, swallowing down the moan you let out when he quickens his pace. You can taste yourself on his tongue, tangling with yours with more urgency than before, messy and desperate in a way that had more arousal gushing out of you. The earlier pleasure reignites inside you, your hands sliding around his neck to keep him close, kissing him with fervor, quiet moans and whimpers slipping past between each smack of your lips. 
“Jungkook,” you barely manage to squeal, a few more flicks needed to finally push you over the edge. Your lips are slick with spit as you pull back, jaw slack as you lose yourself in the feeling, and Jungkook easily bookmarks this into his brain to go back to and daydream of whenever he’s bored at work. Your eyes are squeezed shut as the feeling flows through you, not able to see how Jungkook stares at you in awe. 
“Holy shit,” he whispers, slowly pulling his hand away when you keen at the sensitivity, thighs twitching on the sheets as the pleasure rolls through you in waves. You’re looking up just in time to see him slip his messy fingers into his mouth, tongue licking them clean and savoring the taste of you. Just as he slides them back out, your fingers wrap around his wrist and lead them directly into your mouth, sinking onto them with your eyes locked on his own. 
Jungkook’s cock jumps in its confines when you suck, tip of your tongue circling his fingertips before popping them back out with a smirk. There’s a brief moment of shock on his features before he’s jumping into action, quickly unbuttoning his jeans in haste that left you giggling on your sheets. 
“What happened to patience?” you tease, laughing harder when he pauses with one foot stuck in the hole of his jeans, a playful glare thrown your way. 
“Oh, now you want patience?” He kicks his pants the rest of the way off, slowly shuffling towards you as he stands beside the bed in just his boxers. Your hands make grabby motions for him, reaching for the waistband of his underwear to tug them down, licking your lips over as his cock springs out. It bobs in the air for a second, thick and heavy, precum collecting at the tip with the prettiest veins on the underside of it. Of course Jungkook and his pretty privilege would have a dick worthy of leaving you speechless. 
Jungkook allows you to ogle at him, confidently wrapping his palm around the base of his cock, hissing slightly at the sensation as he looks down at it, allowing spit to accumulate behind his lips before a string of it escapes and lands right onto his length to help the glide of his palm. Your eyes widen at the sight, hand replacing his as he guides your motions, giving an experimental squeeze and enjoying how his abs tense up. 
“I’ve been patient for a long time Y/N. You said you want me right?” You’re nodding instantly, eyes looking away from his shiny length to stare up at him. “How do you want me?”
“Jungkook, just get over here.” He doesn’t resist when you let go of his cock, hands gripping his arm to yank him back onto the bed in a clumsy heap. His legs are a tangled mess, nearly ramming his forehead with yours from the force, shared laughter filling the air as you situate yourself. Jungkook had pictured this a thousand times and this is exactly how he imagined it, full of soft kisses, hushed laughter and goofy smiles, playfulness mixed in with lust all coming together perfectly to make the two of you. 
As he settles between your thighs, your sodden folds inches from his length, you can see the look on his face as his eyes glance in between both of your nightstands. Already knowing the question that was about to spill out, you beat him to the punch. “You don’t need one, if you don’t want to. I’m on birth control, and haven’t been with anyone since…” you trail off, not needing to specify.
Jungkook tries not to look too excited, really, but it’s hard. Every one of his lewd fantasies had involved being able to feel you entirely, and if your thoughts from that night were anything to go by, you definitely want the same. It takes him a second to speak, having to swallow properly to prevent himself from choking on his saliva and embarrassing himself in front of you. “I’m clean, I promise.”
“I trust you,” you smile, biting down onto your bottom lip as he fists his cock, slowly leading it to your dripping center. His free hand rests on your inner thigh, softly palming the skin as the head of his cock nudges against your entrance, pushing past the tight ring of muscles and into your heat. With his gaze locked down to where you connect, he sees inch by inch sink into you, finally bottoming out with a shared gasp.
Jungkook leans over you properly now, hand sliding up to lace with yours as the other rests beside your head, just taking a moment to enjoy the feeling of your velvety walls wrapped tightly around his cock. You welcome the stretch, the curve of his length inside you, how he cages you in with his body, eyes full of want staring directly at you, giving your hand a reassuring squeeze because he knows he can’t properly form a sentence right now. 
“Fuck me, please.” With his hips pressed flush against yours, he’s slowly inching back, letting you get used to his size with each thrust. It doesn’t take long before he’s rearing back entirely, thrusting forward with a wet squelch, corner of his lips curling up into a smirk when you moan out his name. Your hand curls around his shoulder, fingers digging into his back to keep yourself steady from the force of his hips. 
Each time the head of his cock would nudge against your bundle of nerves, your nails would sink into his skin, leaving half moon indents that left him groaning in pleasure. Jungkook hadn’t outright told you, but it had become increasingly obvious that he has a slight kink for pain, practically mewling above you as you scratch his back, fucking you with more determination than before. 
“You feel so good,” he rasps, slotting his lips with yours in a messy kiss. The back of your headboard starts to rattle against the wall, bouncing back in time with his hips, and it brings you back to the filthy thoughts you had before. How often you’d hear the same sounds on the opposite side, mixing in with the sharpness of skin connecting together, and you want it. So badly.
“J-jungkook,” you breathe out, letting him pepper more kisses onto you, hips never slowing down. “Can you do something for me?” The tone you use, coated in sugar so sweet he couldn’t say no even if he wanted to.
“Anything.”
It’s hard to concentrate on anything else while his cock continues to fuck into you, turning your mind into mush each time he sunk all the way in. He can see the way you try to focus, eyes falling shut with the cutest pout on your kiss swollen lips, finally grabbing onto the reigns of your mind as you spit it out. “Wanna feel you—fuck—spank me, please.”
Only then do his hips slow down, cock throbbing inside of you, fighting the urge to cum before fulfilling your request. The only confirmation that he was agreeing, wholeheartedly, comes when he pulls out of you, moving too quickly for you to protest at the loss of contact. The room spins for a second as his hands grip onto your hips and flip you over with ease, palms gripping the globes of your ass and softly patting them with a chuckle.
“Of course baby,” he murmurs, hooking his arm underneath your stomach to haul you up onto your knees, allowing you to steady yourself before he’s sliding into you once again. The change in position has you keening, his cock sinking deeper than before, the wetness dripping out of you helping him maintain the earlier pace he had. Your hands fist the sheets beneath you, back arching in ecstasy as he hits your g-spot with precision, a tiny shriek of his name making him smile.
Jungkook keeps you on edge, strong hands gripping the skin of your hips tightly, mouth dropping open while he pants at the way you pulse around his cock, leaving it coated in your slick. His hand slides down to your ass, a gentle touch being your only warning before he’s pulling his hand back and delivering a swift slap to your skin. Your reaction is immediate, an unrestrained moan sounding like music to his ears. The sharp sting spreads directly to your core, your head bowing forward as you mentally beg him for more, your wish being granted seconds later when he repeats it on the other side.
If the wet sounds of his cock fucking you weren’t filthy enough, the added slap of his palm across your ass definitely topped it off. Jungkook had never seen you so needy, thighs coated in your arousal, gushing around him each time he spanked you until you were creaming his cock. The greedy way your walls suck him in, wanting him closer, deeper than ever, left him mesmerized. 
His hand soothes the dull throb on your skin, a trembling breath reaching his ears as he leans over your back, lips kissing up your spine up until reaching your shoulder. Hot pants of breath hit your skin, making you shiver as his lips trail along the edge of your ear. “Feel good?”
“Y-yes,” you mewl, voice trembling from the pleasure, rutting your hips in time with his. 
Jungkook’s way of love was a breath of fresh air for you, rough enough to exhilarate you, the force of his hips leaving you scrambling for purchase to prevent you from face planting onto the sheets, gripping onto your hair and tugging it back with enough force to make your body tingle. But it was intertwined with adoration, sweet praise whispered into your ear, lacing his fingers with yours to let you feel secure.
“You’re never getting rid of me baby,” he groans out. The low rasp in his voice makes you tremble, neck straining from his grip in your hair but the burn feels too good to pull away. His small confession has your heart skipping, eyes slipping shut to bask in the overwhelming feeling surrounding you.
“Good,” you manage to pant, “would never dream of it.” After four years of friendship, the beginning stages of getting to know each other, figuring out the right ways to flow with your different personalities, it's all out of the way now, so it’s incredibly easy for you to picture a steady future with him. The breakfast gossiping, shameless club outings, chaotic game nights with snacks thrown at each other, you want everything you already have with him and more. What you have, so rooted in sincerity, built off mutual respect for each other, blossoming into love so pure, you can’t imagine having this with anyone else.
“Y/N,” he gasps, the pulsing of your walls bringing him closer to his climax. “I’m close.”
You can only hum in agreement, burying your face into your pillow when he releases the grip he has in your hair, nipples rubbing against the sheets in time with his thrusts, the sensitivity sending sparks throughout you. Both his hands grip your hips again, dimpling the skin as he quickens his pace, the tantalizing roll of his hips intent to send you over before him. His eyes trail over the curve of your back, how you arch it further to feel more of him, sliding down to your ass, seeing the way it bounces back with each snap of his hips, how you weakly rut back onto him, pussy clamping around his length as your orgasm approached. 
Jungkook slides his hand around you, trailing across your tummy before slipping between your thighs to the spot you needed him most. Even with your face buried in the sheets, the moan you let out is loud enough for Jungkook to hear perfectly, body shuddering as he flicks across your clit in tight circles.  
“Kook, I’m cumming—fuck,” you shout out, white heat enveloping your body as you get sent over the edge. Your mind blanks for a minute, the intensity of your orgasm crashing over you so suddenly, making your limbs tense up while every nerve ending lights up. The only thing you can think of is him, chanting out your name while you pulse around him, sweet words coaxing you through your high, thumb rubbing along the skin of your hips as he never slows his pace. 
As he fucks you through it, groaning out at how tight your walls are around him, you have to turn your head to gasp in a breath, face feeling hot from it all. You can feel how sweaty your skin has become, the back of your neck feeling sticky as your turn to get a glimpse of him, body still shuddering from the aftershocks. 
Jungkook doesn’t have a care for his own volume now, moaning unabashedly as he pistons his hips into you with less grace than before. The soft mewls of overstimulation you let out just bring him closer to his release, thrusts getting sloppier as the pleasure takes over him. 
“Fuck, baby-” he grunts out, mouth dropping open as he moans even louder, finally falling apart. He pushes further into you, head falling forward as his hips press flushed against your ass, warm spurts of his cum filling you up in a way that fulfills your dirtiest fantasies. A few more shallow thrusts has the two of you gasping, hearts pounding in your chests, coming down slowly as he finally stills.
A serene silence falls over you, the movie long turned off in the background, only the low glow of the television letting you know it was still on. With great hesitation, Jungkook finally pulls out of you, gulping when he sees the thick globs of cum spill from your core, dripping down your thighs before landing on the sheets in a sinful mess. Your sheets are well and truly ruined, Jungkook would honestly suggest tossing them in the trash judging by the damp spot directly beneath you.
With a small groan, you’re flopping fully onto your stomach, thighs no longer able to keep yourself up, the exhaustion creeping up on you. Jungkook chuckles when he hears you, soothing your back with a gentle massage. “You’re not sleeping in here babe.”
“Why not,” you slur, cheek pressed against your pillow, eyes already shut. All you wanted to do was lay here, preferably with his arms wrapped around you, but Jungkook clearly has other plans. 
“Because it’s disgusting,” he laughs, giving you a few more seconds of rest before he’s moving around. The dip in the bed lets you know he’s gotten off, one eye peeking open to search for him, seeing him gathering his belongings from the floor.
“Where are you going?”
He shimmies back into his clothes with a grimace, gathering your own items before approaching you once more. “We are going next door and sleeping in my totally clean bed, c’mon.”
You only put up a fight for a second, secretly enjoying the way he helps you get dressed in your earlier clothes, heart swelling in your chest at how domestic it all feels. The mess in your room would have to be dealt with another day, the only important item being the ice cream that finds its way back into the freezer as you both head out of your apartment and swiftly enter his next door.
He’s just as delicate and careful in the shower, taking turns cleaning each other, large hands gripping your ass and giggling like a child when you wince at the small throb of pain you feel. Soft kisses are shared under the showerhead, warm water soothing your body as the room fogs up, sweet confessions scribbled on the glass in his messy writing, topped off with a heart. Jungkook stops you before you can wipe it away, shyly telling you that he’d like to see it reappear the next time he showers.
His bedroom was one you weren’t too familiar with, used to lounging in his living room the most, so as he settles into his bed after getting cozy in his pajamas, you wait for him to call you over before joining him. The coolness of his sheets has you sighing, snuggling into his side with a smile on your lips, one that Jungkook sees as he stares down at you before pressing a kiss to your forehead. Seeing you draped in his clothes, cuddled up beside him in a way you’ve never done before, makes him feel like a giddy teenager. 
“Can I be honest?” he wonders, arm wrapping around you to pull you even closer to him. When you hum in confirmation, he laughs sheepishly. “I thought you were going to friendship dump me today.”
“What, why?”
Your head bobs up as he shrugs his shoulders. “The way you were acting reminded me of the last time you told me you wanted to focus on your relationship. I was just scared I was going to lose you again.”
The tone he uses makes your heart ache, the same guilt you felt these past few days coming back when you put yourself in his shoes. You had no idea that the way you were acting would affect him this way, never once imagining that he thought you would cut off this friendship while you were just coming to terms with the fact that you harbored strong feelings for him. 
“Jungkook, I’m sorry,” you sigh, palm resting on his chest, feeling each beat of his heart, no longer racing like before, confident and steady in it’s pace because he knows you’re not going anywhere. “I’m stupid, and freaked out after what I did, and just needed to gather my thoughts before saying anything.”
He cranes his head away from you, a confused look on his face. “After what you did? What did you do?”
Fuck.
“Uhm,” you start with a strained laugh, refusing to look up at him out of embarrassment, but the truth has to come out so you power through it.  “So, the night of the date, I sort of got home earlier than I told you I did.”
His eyes narrow at you, refusing to give anything away before he knew where this was going. “Okay, go on.”
“And I sort of heard you through the walls.” You look up at him now, your guilty stare spelling it out for him. His eyes widen before he can conceal his surprise, cheeks warming up instantly because oh boy, he knew exactly where this was going. “And then, I sort of...joined.”
“You lied to me!” he shouts, shocked smile on his face as he recalls the way you had replied to his texts, telling him you had just gotten home and going the extra mile to say you were in a totally different room when in reality, you were sprawled out in your bed after just getting off to the sound of him.
Filthy. And also kind of hot. Jungkook was definitely into that, something he’ll totally proposition you into doing again because why not.  
“I know! I couldn’t help it, it was so hot, and I felt so guilty. But, you’re technically the reason why my orgasm gave me my epiphany and let me realize I really do like you. So, I think I did us both a favor by being a dirty liar.” He’s laughing instantly, fingers gripping your cheeks to turn your head up, planting a firm kiss onto your lips obnoxiously.
“Alright, you’re forgiven. Plus, consider us even because I have definitely heard you getting off on your own plenty of times too.” A squeal of surprise fills the air as you swat at his chest, burying your face into his shirt and feeling the rumble of his laughter. It really wasn’t ever intentional. The walls are thin, you weren’t exactly quiet, and he couldn’t just lay there and ignore it. So call him an opportunist, or a pervert, because you were one too. 
Jungkook is cheeky though, knowing how to get under your skin in the best way, and you can already tell you’re in for a ride when he gets close to your ear and whispers, “You wanna show me how you did it?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you snort, peering up at him with mischief in your eyes.
“You did say I could torture you later.” He smiles innocently, fingers pinching your chin as he kisses you again. “It’s later.”
The sweet laughter that escapes you makes his heart skip a beat, still not able to come to terms that this was happening and wasn’t some dream of his that he’d wake up from. He kisses the tops of your cheeks first, then your nose, before reaching your lips, his hand gently caressing your skin. Jungkook had no intention of torturing you tonight, knowing how tired you typically were after work on a normal day, and after drawing two orgasms out of you that left you shaking, he knows how close you are to sleep with the way your eyes droop. 
“Aren’t you glad you didn’t give up on crushes and love?” he mumbles against your lips, inching back to stare down at you. 
“I’m glad I stopped looking for it in the wrong places.” Your hands wrap around his neck, toying with his hair before pulling him back to you, reattaching your lips because you just couldn’t seem to get enough of him. 
Every single moment you shared, from moving in and awkwardly trying to get to know each other, the ups and downs of failed relationships, the push that started it all at the club, and every almost moment in between brought you full circle to right now. There probably won’t be a moment where you don’t wish you had done this sooner, worked past your worry of ruining a good friendship in fear of what could happen, but the past helped mold you into who you are, strengthening your relationship to be the way it is now.
Right now had you thinking of the future, and there was nothing more exciting than that.
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teklarn · 3 years ago
Text
𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓬𝓻𝔂 𝓽𝓸𝓸, 𝓲𝓯 𝓲𝓽 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝔂𝓸𝓾
character(s): izuku midoriya x gn!reader (x katsuki bakugou) 
a/n: gosh i love angst (quick note!! i edit to the best of my ability, however it’s easy to miss things, and i type 100 words per minute, so im sorry if i miss some things!) this ain’t a poly relationship btw, i don’t feel like i could write that well (no shame to people who do!! personally i feel like i would butcher it) 
reblogs are greatly appreciated! 
based off the song: it’s my party by lesley gore
summary: y/n realizes going to katsuki bakugou’s wedding was a mistake
genre: angst all the way shawties 
warnings: light cursing, heartbreak, alcohol, one-sided pining (reader), aged up/pro-hero au, sad reminiscing bc ahaha bakugou made us sad :’) and a crap load of references to the song, friend zoning (eesh) 
word count: 2,566
ik yall are waiting for a part 2 of brutal and part 3 of you’re not my boyfriend but this idea just struck i had to get it down pls 
- - - 
“let’s raise a toast to our finest lovebirds, my best friend and his wife, katsuki bakugou and ochaco uraraka!” kirishima took a sip of champagne. 
you lifted your beverage in unison with the others seated at your table but did not drink. you blinked down at the fizzing beverage. 
“we wish you all the best,” kirishima said. “you and your best buds have no doubt you two’ll be known as some of the most indestructible symbols of peace.” 
another wave of applause passed among the crowd. the last toast was finished and the music resumed. your entire table left you sitting. it wasn’t like you knew anyone here, anyways. nobody except for the few classmates bakugou was still in touch with. 
those people consisted of izuku midoriya, who was sitting at the table across from you, as well as across the dance floor. 
the lights twinkled up again, red, blue, and green flashing along the floor. 
you couldn’t deny it. bakugou in a red suit, uraraka in a wedding dress fell just above her knees, a red bow tied around her waist. you did not doubt that if you were to be sold as a healthy person on the black market, that dress would still be worth more than you. 
the only comfort you had was midoriya, who had greeted you when you came in, but the two of you had exchanged no further words. but he looked equally as miserable as you. 
uraraka and bakugou were perfect together. they looked happy. and you were happy to see bakugou happy. happy to see uraraka happy with him. 
bakugou dipped his newlywed wife to the beat of the music. her back arched perfectly into his large hands. 
what hurts the most was that, while you wished it was you instead of her on that dance floor, you knew it wouldn’t work out. 
not that you and bakugou wouldn’t have worked out. the two of you were a perfect couple! 
what hurts the most was that it was a wish, and in every near universe, you still didn’t have that ring. 
uravity and dynamight simply looked...happier. 
you stormed out, shaking. why was your katsuki kissing her? holding her when it should have been you? 
deep down, you knew you had no right. you and bakugou were barely a couple. throughout his years at yuuei, he’d calmed down immensely. so much that he could strike up a conversation with nearly everyone. as it turns out, introverted katsuki bakugou was a shameless flirt. 
the two of you exchanged flitting glances from time to time, but it was never anything serious. at least to him, it wasn’t. 
you knew he’d never taken the flirting seriously, and you also knew about his aching feelings for uraraka. how he covered his mouth whenever she walked by. how his voice raised just a bit, and how soft his eyes got. 
you shouldn’t have been surprised. he never even hinted that he might have had romantic feelings for you. 
the entire room erupted with applause as he kissed her. the katsuki bakugou, kissing someone? pfft, only in dreams. 
for some, the dream would be good. like uraraka, who had shamelessly kissed him back. 
for you, it was a complete nightmare. 
the blaring music, the lights, the balloons, the ‘happy graduation class of 1-A!’ 
you drowned it all out. you curled your knees to your chest. you had no right to be hurt. not at all. they were his emotions. you had no control over them. 
loneliness clouded over you. your chest screamed with longing. a longing to be held. be wanted by him. 
you were alone. nobody was coming to comfort you. nobody was- 
the door opened, clicking shut just as quickly. someone sniffled. 
your eyes flicked up from your knees. 
“y/n? i...i’m sorry, i had no idea anyone was out here...i can leave...”
“it’s alright, izuku.” 
izuku took a swig from a bottle containing something much heavier than champagne. 
that same tug in your chest came about. you were tired of seeing the billboards, the magazines. tired of seeing the unquestionably perfect relationship, perfect love bloom right before you. 
dynamight and uravity this! dynamight and uravity that! 
the music was loud enough, the lights were busy enough, and the people were ignorant enough to neglect your crying figure. 
this was supposed to be my party. he loved me first. 
“you okay?” you asked, swiping your nose. 
izuku looked back at the graduation party. “no, y/n. i’m not.” 
“then we’re both absolute shit.” you let him help you up. “why’re you crying?” 
“just...just uraraka.” 
“for me it’s just bakugou.” 
just as bakugou had calmed down during his years at yuuei, izuku had earned a sense of sarcasm. “are they just oblivious or stupid?” 
“goodness, izuku,” you joked, pressing a hand to your shuddering chest. “calling uraraka stupid?” 
he gave you a sad side-smile. you listened in silence as the upbeat music played on. 
“i guess we’re the stupid ones.” he sighed, chest heaving a little. 
“i guess,” you agreed. he pulled you into a hug, and you let the tears flow. your sobs corrupted your chest as you curled into his arms. “why? why did it have to be her?” 
“not all heroes end up happy, y/n.” 
you looked up at him, eyes puffy, sniffling. “why can’t we be part of that small portion of heroes who are?” 
izuku looked up, trying to neglect the water pooling in his own eyes. “i guess...well, not to be a narcissist—” he let out a breathy chuckle, “―but if you noticed, all the greatest heroes die with some kind of regret.” 
“maybe i don’t want to be a good hero.” you ignored his efforts to lighten the mood. 
“heroes don’t always get to choose whether they’ll be good or not. some things just happen.”
“i’m sorry, izuku.” you swiped at your eyes. “you’re hurt just as badly as me. i don’t want to make it—” 
“hey.” izuku gently pried your hands away from your face, fingers ghosting over your wrists. his emerald eyes gleamed as they stared into yours. “don’t invalidate your feelings just because of me. we’re both hurting, but that doesn’t mean i won’t listen to you.” 
your sobs came back again, and you fell into his chest. 
bakugou spun uraraka, laughing gently as she twirled in his arms. his eyes lit up whenever he saw her. they twinkled. he sparkled. his smile was dazzling. and he was everything you never had. 
you were a heartbroken mess, even after all these years. there was a list of all the reasons you were mad at him, and yourself. 
your sobs were almost uncontrollable, and at this point, you were shocked nobody came to check on you. not that you cared very much. even if you were making a small effort to hide your face, it still would have been nice to feel a touch on your shoulder, someone perhaps shaking you gently to make sure you were awake. 
not that you’d tell them what was wrong. you just wanted to know somebody cared, and to have the option to talk to somebody if you needed to do so. 
but here you were. cheesy, upbeat fifties music echoed along the walls of the room. bakugou had secretly adored artists from back then, and you’d often catch him dancing and singing along to long-forgotten oldies. 
if you weren’t his best friend, you would have blown off coming here and binge-watched ‘my best friend’s wedding’ and sobbed. 
your head was down, forehead leaning on the backs of your forearms stacked upon each other. tears were streaming down, your shoulders shuddering with each weak breath sucked in and released. 
until bakugou chose you, you had no reason to smile. at least not now. by no means were you desperate. love sometimes did that to people. made them look needy, look unwanted. 
you’ve had plenty of options in the past, but the one person who you wanted didn’t want you back. didn’t even care. 
since the graduation party, uraraka and you had been a bit tense. a part of her felt like she knew how you felt, and how bakugou mattered to you more than anyone in the world. 
after the first year, she began abandoning izuku and ignoring his emotions towards her. after she and bakugou found each other, they had already known they would settle with one another. 
you and izuku had never been close, but you were both good friends and were there when you needed one another. 
he had walked you through your pain of senior year, and you’d helped him reach a lot of his goals, too. but bakugou just didn’t seem to care anymore. not even about becoming the number one hero. he looked at uraraka like she was his goal, his new dream, the reason he was happy. he looked at her and saw that he had the world in his hands and wanted to keep it that way. 
you? you were pluto. exiled from the rest of the planets. exiled from the rest of his options, when you used to be his first. 
“y/n?”
you and izuku backed away from each other. you’d both been crying for quite a bit. how long it had been, you were both unsure. 
uraraka now stood at the door. you peeked into the window, leaning back a bit and catching glances of the blonde, who was currently being clapped on the back by his friends, congratulated for ‘getting the girl’. 
“are you guys okay?’ uraraka asked. 
“would you cry, uraraka?” 
she tilted her head. “what?” 
you pushed yourself off of izuku. “do you think you’d cry if you saw me kissing him, too?” 
“what’re you―” 
“you would cry, too! you would be sobbing!” you stabbed an accusatory finger at her. “you were my friend! you knew how i felt, and you’re kissing him?” 
uraraka’s eyes widened. “i...i’m sorry. it all just happened, and i—”
“shut the hell up, uraraka. you ruined this party. for me and izuku.” 
perhaps you went a bit far, but in your heart and your mind, you knew she deserved it. she knew. uraraka had known. 
izuku gave uraraka a sympathetic look before pressing a hand to your back and leading you away. 
it still came as a bit of a shock that uraraka had let bakugou invite you to their wedding. gosh. little, domestic bakugou, sealing invitations and batting his eyes at his oh-so-sweet wife so he could invite his best friend. 
little domestic uraraka sweetly kissing her fiance on the cheek and pouting as she said, “how can i say no?” 
it was disgusting, and everything you wanted to have with him. 
you allowed yourself to be selfish this one time. after all, you deserved it. you’d endured hours of bakugou blabbering on about how sweet uraraka was. everything you weren’t. 
you took the bottle to champagne. your ankles were aching as you stumbled out of the room. your vision blurred, becoming foggy with tears. not one person stopped you. you guessed because nobody noticed. 
like graduation night, you slumped down right outside the doors to the party, the music, lights, and laughter muffled. the only difference was that you had a bottle of champagne and the man of your dreams was gone. for good, this time. 
-
“i wish she noticed me. it was like, after first year, the uraraka i knew just vanished.” 
you nodded. you and midoriya were wandering the streets, cool air brushing down your neck and on your face as cars passed. 
“uraraka was so sweet, but she lost feelings so fast and...ugh.” midoriya ran a hand through his hair, ruffling his curls. “i’m still a bit...baffled. i know people change, but she and kacchan both switched up so fast.” 
“i don’t want to say they’re jackasses, but they’re kind of jackasses.” 
izuku rubbed your shoulder as you leaned on him while the two of you walked. “don’t say that.” 
“sorry,” you breathed. 
“no more being sorry. being sorry all the time leads to shit like this.” 
you chuckled. “yeah, it does.” you sniffed. “did i take you away from the party? you can go back if you want.” 
he shrugged. “’s all right. i don’t mind.” 
“do you want to be here or would you rather be in there?”
“out here with you. i can’t be there right now.” 
“me too.” 
“let me guess.” 
you looked up and scoffed softly. 
“this was supposed to be your party?” 
you nodded. “my party, my groom. i’m not supposed to be crying at my party, am i?” 
your friend shook his head. “not at all. cheer up, y/n.” 
izuku slid down the wall, sitting beside you. he rested his arms on his knees, twisting open his own bottle of champagne. “you look like a mess.”
“and you look like you need anger management.” you smiled. 
he grinned back. “do i now?” 
“yeah, you do. you should have seen yourself sitting there. all alone, the one person drinking something that wasn’t the fifty-thousand yen drinks.” 
“54,795.75 yen, to be exact.” 
you raised an eyebrow. “you’re insane. you kidding me? why do you know that?” 
“i was the weird kid who took notes on everyone in the class. of course i would know this. i’m offended you think i wouldn’t.” 
you tilted your head back in laughter. “gosh, izuku.” 
“mhm.” 
there was a pause. comfortable silence filled the space, broken by you sigh after gulping down your drink. “so they’re gone?” 
“i’d rather not dwell on it.” 
“how old are we now?” 
izuku gave a breathy chuckle. “twenty-five.” 
you smiled. “really, now? and i thought i would be married by now.” 
“me too. ‘s a shame.” 
“how about, if we’re both still not married by the time we’re forty, we get married to each other, adopt three children and we become hot parents.” 
“three?” 
“yeah, we can have a mini hero agency.” 
“that’s horrifying. but i agree. having a mini hero agency would be pretty amazing.” 
“i’m glad you agree with me, izuku.” you brushed a curl from his eyes. 
“can’t wait until i’m forty,” he smirked. 
“me neither.” 
“maybe by then we would have forgotten all of this?” 
“we’ll be fighting a villain, and we get our memories erased, and then we fall in love because we wake up beside each other in the hospital. we’re both equally confused.” you peppered him with jokes. “it’s a journey we will go on together.” 
“can’t wait until my memory gets erased.” 
“do you wanna get out of here?”
izuku shook his head. “it’s their wedding. we can’t. we shouldn’t.” 
you gave him a silly look. 
“you’re always such trouble, y/n.” 
“if you hate it, then wipe that stupid grin off your face.” 
izuku’s features softened. “maybe i like it. but only sometimes.” he took your head and lead you out, leaving his drink behind while you took yours. 
a single tear rolled down your cheek. he didn’t erase all your pain, nor your feelings for bakugou. it wasn’t what you needed, no. 
you just needed a friend. a real one. one that wouldn’t steal your dream from you. and that’s what you knew you had right now. 
besides, things could happen in the future, right? 
you smiled, and let the cold air touch your skin. 
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wienerbarnes · 4 years ago
Text
Italian Heart
Tumblr media
Pairing: Bucky x Italian!MobBoss!Reader
Word Count: 4,867
Warnings: canon level violence, possible inaccurate italian slang lol
A/N: ive been watching a lot of the sopranos lately and i feel like ive never seen a bucky x mob boss reader au (ive only rlly seen em where buckys the mob boss. if there are ones where reader is the mob boss PLS SEND EM TO ME I BEG) a lot of the slang and mob stuff here is from sopranos bc... im not in the fucking mafia so forgive me anyway enjoy :)<3
MAIN MASTERLIST
Bucky’s never seen a woman quite like yourself.
Dressed in expensive satin and jewelry that hangs between your breasts, an angry look on your face at the fact you’re sitting before him and Sam in an interrogation room in the tower. Freshly done nails, clean and crisp lipstick, spicy perfume, and an expression of annoyance.
As put together as you look, you don’t look like someone to be fucked with. Which, he supposes is good for a mobster; the Boss of Newark.
Looking at you, though, he’d never thought you to be such a figure of intimidation. While the mafia is still alive, despite how the media tries to deny this, he always pictured an old Italian man that chain smokes cigars. He doesn’t think he’s too far off, to his credit; he can smell the remnants of smoke on you.
“Mind if we make this fast? My cousin’s comin’ for dinner and I was gonna make ziti.” You huff, crossing your legs under the table.
“Sounds delicious. Sorry for dragging you all the way out here.” Sam says, a calm look on his face even though he’s well aware of what you’re capable of.
When hunting down the last traces of the super soldier serum, he never thought Nick Fury himself would suggest getting in touch with you. He didn’t think it was worth the time to question how the two of you knew each other.
Theft. Drugs. Murder. Bribery. The list goes on, and there’s not a single thing that ties you to any of it.
A shrug of your shoulders, “So, what exactly is this about?” You ask.
“What is it that you do for a living?” Sam asks.
“I work in waste management.” You respond, a rehearsed answer.
Not exactly a lie, the environmental facility you manage is one of hundreds of covers used by your crew for your crimes. Environmental facilities, deli shops, strip clubs, auto shops. There isn’t a business in Jersey you aren’t tied to.
“Waste management? Like, garbage disposal?” Bucky asks, knowing exactly what it is you do for work.
You smirk, “Yeah, we dispose of garbage sometimes. What’s that got to do with me being here?”
“It’s to my understanding that you’re in the business of… buying and selling things. You and… the people you hang around got a real knack for it.” Sam tells you.
Bucky holds back a roll of his eyes. More like stealing and selling. Expensive Italian suits, antique watches, cars, electronics, illegal cigars. Who knows what else.
“I don’t know where you heard that… but I’m a popular gal, maybe I know a guy who might know a guy. What are you lookin’ for?” You ask.
You know this game, after being in the mob for so long. After being a part of your own crew for years, your patience and hard work paid off, working your way up to a captain and finally a boss. It didn’t take you long to learn in this business that government officials are jokes. Always wanting to bust my balls and then come crying to my corner for help, it’s a bunch of ugatz.
“Serums.” Bucky finally speaks.
A laugh escapes you, “What, like vitamin C?” You teasingly smirk at him.
His chair makes a loud sound in the small room as he pushes it back harshly and stands, resting his hands on the table in between the two of you. You don’t flinch.
“Enough with the bullshit. Super serums. To create super soldiers. We need to get them before they end up in the wrong hands and make a big ass mess.” He snaps at you, but you don’t seem phased in the slightest. In fact, you seem rather amused.
“You must have a lot of agita with all that anger, Sergeant Barnes.”
He doesn’t hold back this time and rolls his eyes before you speak up again, “Your first name is James, isn’t it? Ain’t that Italian?”
“No, it’s English. Or Scottish. Or Jewish - I don’t know, who cares? Are you gonna help us or not?” Bucky takes his seat again, crossing his thick arms over his broad chest.
“What’s in it for me?” You ask, leaning back in your chair.
“Not being arrested for all the shit we know you’re caught up in.” Sam offers.
You roll your own eyes this time, “I’ll take my chances. Thanks for wasting my time, boys, don’t let it happen again.” You stand, prepared to make your way back to the train station to go back to Jersey.
“Wait,” Sam stops you, “What is it that you want?”
You smile innocently and take your seat again, taking a minute to think before answering, “My little sister’s a big fan of yours. I’m sure she and all her friends would think it’s cool if you showed up to her prom as her date.” You wink at Sam.
Silence fills the room as the men think about your request.
“You’re gonna do it, right?” Bucky looks over at him and sees Sam rubbing the crease in between his eyes. He was expecting you to ask for immunity, protection, money, guns. But after hearing your request, he supposes you have enough of all that stuff anyway.
“Man -” Sam begins to refuse.
“Sam, it’s a fucking school dance in exchange for some of the most powerful and sought after serums on the planet - go to the fucking prom.” He tells him, eyebrows scrunching in confusion as to how he would hesitate on something so simple.
“She’s eighteen, so you won’t have any problems with the media or none of that.” You add, the information not really making Sam feel any better.
“Alright, alright, fine. I’ll go to the dance with your sister if you help us get these serums.”
You smile, happy to have done business with the two men, “What information do ya got for me?”
Bucky and Sam wait outside a back room in the facility you own. They passed the garbage trucks parked neatly outside, but could hear your screaming and the smell of Cuban cigars as soon as they entered the building.
She’s with a customer, they were told, by someone in your crew, them meeting Bucky’s expectations for mobsters more than you did. None of them ask any questions, but Bucky and Sam aren’t stupid, they’re sure your crew is aware of what’s going on and know the exact reason they’re there.
“You’re a fuckin’ asshole, you know that? The Bible says, Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit -”
“You listen to me, you take your Bible and your quotations book and shove it up your fat fucking ass! Now get the fuck out of my face!”
Bucky can’t help but scoff listening to you scream at whoever’s inside. Sam elbows him, silently telling him that now isn’t the time to find your work funny, especially not in front of the rest of your crew.
Bucky knows he’s old-fashioned, and while things that were taboo such as body modifications or certain fashion styles don’t phase him anymore, he doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to hearing a woman talk like that. He doesn’t think he’s ever even heard anybody talk like you do.
Suddenly a man bursts out of the room, huffing and puffing, and you walk slowly behind him, as if to make sure he makes it outside okay.
“Grab his plate for me, will you?” You say not to anyone in particular, voice smooth and calm as if you hadn’t been yelling and threatening that man’s life for the past twenty minutes.
One of the men from your crew follows outside, seemingly to collect the license plate of the man who just left.
“Nothing’s gonna happen to that guy, right?” Sam asks as he and Bucky enter the room, taking a seat in front of the desk you have in there. He knows there’s no point in asking, that you’ll do whatever you want regardless because it’s obvious you’re passionate about receiving respect, but it was worth a shot.
“Is that what you came all the way to Jersey to ask me? Christ, I’m fuckin’ starving, you boys want anything to eat?” You ask, accent heavy as you reach into the side drawer of your desk and pull out what seems to be some kind of meat wrapped in paper.
“Gabagool?” You offer to them, picking out a slice for yourself and placing it in your mouth.
“Gesundheit.” Sam responds.
“It’s pork, you asshole.”
Bucky silently reaches over and picks off a slice of the cured cold cut, putting the meat in his mouth and savoring the flavor. While he can’t stand the way you make a living or the sailor’s mouth you have, he loves Italian food, and actually chose a neighborhood in New York that has plenty of traditional cold cut markets and restaurants to live in in order to fulfill his cravings.
“There’s a big party staged downtown this weekend, we think that’s when the drop is going to happen.” Sam tells you, bringing the focus to their reason for coming here in the first place.
“I’ll send one of my boys.” You reply in between your chews.
“That wasn’t the deal. The deal was you get the serums.” Bucky speaks up.
“Buck, you know how many people want her dead?” Sam tries to reason.
“What the fuck do I have a crew for then? - No, if pretty boy wants me to do it myself, then I will. The same people that want my head are the same fucks who are terrified to be within twenty feet of me in fear they’ll make eye contact. I’m not scared of nothin’.” You say, narrowing your eyes at Bucky.
“What did you guys come here to talk about?” You ask.
Sam looks confused at your expression, “...To go over the plan? Hash out details? So you know how everything’s gonna go?”
“I’ll be fine; I’ve seen The Godfather once or twice,” You tell him, wrapping up the cappo, after Bucky picks off one last slice, and replacing it in the drawer, “Don’t worry Captain, this ain’t my first rodeo. I’ll get the serums for you.” You open a different drawer and pull out a cigar and a lighter.
Bucky watches as you place the large cigar in between your red-painted lips, bringing the flame of your lighter to the end and hollowing your cheeks until smoke exits from the corner of your mouth. Bucky feels blood travel south as his eyes glaze over your hand grab the cigar out of your mouth and blow out a long string of smoke.
“I guess we’ll be in touch then,” Sam stands and Bucky follows after.
“My sister’s wearing blue, so find yourself a nice tie.” You call out, lifting your feet up to cross them on the desk, dress rising and showing your legs.
Bucky blushes, and then laughs as he exits when he hears you, in a deep and more exaggerated accent than your own, “Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in!”
The morning of the party, Sam and Bucky pick you up from your house, planning to take you into New York to discuss final details before tonight.
You get in the passenger seat, Sam offering it to you and climbing in the backseat. As Bucky begins to drive off, your phone rings.
“I told you to leave that.” Bucky says, telling you explicitly to leave electronics here to prevent anyone finding out where you are, and also to avoid any distractions.
“Wanted to see what you’d about it, Sarge,” You wink at him, pulling out a flip phone and answering the call.
“Yeah… Uh huh… He what? Are you fucking kidding me?... Alright… Tell him not to move a fucking muscle.” You hang up, slamming the phone closed.
“Stop at the facility for a sec, I gotta take care of something.” Bucky sighs and turns away from the route to head to your facility.
“Bucky’s going to be going with you tonight, by the way, he’ll be in disguise. Just in case anything goes wrong.” Sam tells you, not really caring anymore about having to make a stop for you to take care of whatever business you need to take care of.
Your only response is a hum as Bucky can feel the anger radiating off your now tense body.
You slam the car door shut as Bucky parks behind a garbage truck outside, not even waiting for him to fully put the car in park before you exit.
Him and Sam follow quickly behind you to see what’s going on. You enter through a side door that leads to a large room, a garage for the trucks, Bucky assumes.
There’s a large truck inside, and racks of suits wrapped in plastic scattered around. A younger man stands near the truck as your crew peruses around the racks, he couldn’t be older than twenty-five years old. Your heels click on the ground as you approach, slowing down as you glance between the suits and the young man. Bucky and Sam hang around a few feet behind your trail.
You stop, fuming, staring at the man before you speak, “You wanna tell me what the fuck happened?”
“I -” He begins, but you cut him off, raising an open hand at him.
“Actually, I don’t even want to hear your fucking voice right now. Because if what I heard you did is true; if what you did to Vinny’s guy is true, you’re gonna be a fuck load of trouble.”
“Can I -”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“But -”
“I said shut the fuck up, Christopher! What part of that don’t you understand?” You yell, and even Bucky feels intimidated.
You turn to your crew, “What the fuck happened.” You demand, more than ask.
“Kid says he tried to take the truck, Vinny’s guy had a gun that fell outta the seat, went off, shot him.” One of the men summarizes, not looking up from the rack of suits.
You raise a manicured hand to pinch between your eyes, “You keep me skinny, Christopher, with all the fucking stress you cause me.”
“Would you let me explain?” He tries.
“If you don’t do as I told you and shut your fucking mouth, you’re gonna be buried with two assholes,” You threaten before continuing.
“They were fuckin’ suits! All you had to do was take the truck! How did you fuck that up -” You stop yourself and sigh, attempting to calm yourself down.
“Here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna take all this shit, you’re gonna take it back to Vinny, and you’re gonna tell him what happened yourself.” You finish.
“Marone!” He exclaims, rubbing his face with his hands.
“Enough with the theatrics! You’re lucky I don’t put a bullet in your ass! Now, I don’t see you grabbing that rack and that rack and that rack and putting it back in the truck!” You wave your arms around the room.
The kid sighs and begins grabbing the racks one by one and rolling them back in the truck.
“Would it be such a shame if they all went back?” An older man from your crew asks, already wearing one of the expensive suits. You scoff and laugh.
“Bucky, pick yourself somethin’ nice for tonight,'' You turn to face him, and he jumps at the sound of your now calmer voice being directed at him, as opposed to the harsh one used on Christopher, “On me.” You wink.
...
Sam and Bucky sit on the bed and watch as you get ready. A small apartment near the party that’s already been swept for bugs. A favor, you called it, from someone you know.
They don’t question it.
“You and Bucky will go in together and I’ll be waiting at a secondary location watching and listening to everything.”
Bucky can’t tear his eyes away from your dress. A mermaid dress, he thinks it is, black and tight and hugging you in all the right places, curving around your ass and sleeveless at the top, allowing you to show off a nice necklace and your cleavage. It’s an understatement to say that he’ll enjoy accompanying you tonight, even if it’s in a costume.
His mother probably would’ve loved it if he would’ve gotten with someone like you. Someone who loves their family, a spitfire that wouldn’t take any of his shit, and whose god damn gorgeous. She might’ve had to wash your mouth out with soap, though.
“So, why is Bucky goin’ again?”
“Safety.” Bucky answers.
“Is he going for my safety or am I going for his?” You tease, finishing the last few curls of your hair, smoke coming from the iron after each time you pull your hair away from it.
“Once you find our guy, get talking with him and see if you can get him to make you an offer,” He begins.
“One I can’t refuse?”
“Then, you’ll try and get him alone, see if he’ll show you the serums, and once you do, we’ll be taking care of the rest.” Sam finishes explaining.
Bucky plucks a box from his pocket and opens it to reveal a pair of diamond earrings. One, a camera, and the other, a microphone. You’re also given a comm to hide in your ear so both him and Sam can hear everything and you can hear them.
“Easy - peasy.” You respond.
The ballroom is lively, loud music and people everywhere, and Bucky attunes all the action overwhelming him to a sweat and not that fact that you’re pressed up against him, his arm wrapped around your waist.
About a hundred different people come up to greet you, asking about your family, offering you drinks and food. Bucky can see right through all of them though; they’re all putting on the act out of fear. Everyone’s attention is on you, and Bucky’s sure if he wasn’t in disguise right now, no one would even notice.
You bring him to the middle of the crowd and he can’t be surprised when you start to dance with him, pulling at his arms to get him to loosen up. He complies, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you close as the two of you move together.
“I’ll let you know when I spot him.” He tells you, voice causing goosebumps to rise on your neck; goosebumps that he notices but doesn’t point out.
It only takes a song or two before he spots who he’s looking for and sends you over, making sure your com is on, and choosing to stick by the bar, giving him a good view of you and allowing himself a break of having your body pressed against his.
He’s impressed listening to you talk to this guy, voice smooth and sultry, yet still commanding.
He knows there was a lot of talk when you took position as boss; not a lot of people in the mob took you seriously and didn’t think you or a woman in general would be good in that kind of position in power. So, you use that to your advantage to get shit done, and Bucky applauds you for that.
It’s not long before the guy offers to go somewhere more private to discuss business and Bucky follows far behind, Sam praising you through the coms from where he waits in the car outside, watching through the camera in your earring.
Bucky waits outside of a closed office door upstairs, listening to the conversation through the coms but hearing your exclamation through the door when the guys give you his asking price.
“5 mil each?! What do you take me for, some kinda stunad?”
“Take it or leave it.”
“Take it or leave it, yeah, I can put a bullet between your eyes and take it, alright.”
“Stop messing around and take the offer, it’s not real anyway!” Sam tells you, not wanting to lose their chance on the serums.
You ignore him prioritizing your need for respect over the stupid mission, “How do I know these aren’t Kool-Aid pouches poured in glass bottles?”
“Well, I’m certainly not going to test ‘em out for you.” The guy scoffs.
“Stronzo. You’re outta your fucking mind offering me that.”
“I’ll lower the price for you if you give me a little dance, how ‘bout that?”
“Vaffanculo.” You curse at him.
“Up yours, lady!” He yells back, and Sam sees through the camera, he grabs at you.
“Buck, get in there.” Sam tells him, and it only takes Bucky a second to kick open the door.
He’s a bit taken aback when he not only sees the case of serums out on the table, but you holding the man bent over the small table in the middle of the room next to the serums, gun held to the back of his head.
He very quickly decides that you’re fine and moves to grab the serums, closing the case and holding it securely in his left hand.
“Don’t kill the guy.”
You stay silent and Bucky looks at you again. He can almost see the steam coming out of your ears and he notices a small cut on your cheek bone. He looks down to the man’s cowering figure and notices a large ring on his hand.
You mumble something in Italian to the man, a threat of some kind that Bucky can guess given how the man shuts his eyes and shakes a bit under your hold. Sam finally enters the room, military grade handcuffs in hand.
“Feds are on their way, get her out of here.” He tells Bucky.
You slowly lift the gun off the man’s head and stand up straighter, walking over to brush past Bucky in the direction of the back door.
He makes eye contact with Sam and gives him a nod before following after you, watching as you scrunch up the bottom of your dress to replace the gun in an ankle holster. Once outside, he stops you under a street light near the car and raises his hand to look at your cheek.
“We gotta get going,” You swat at his hand.
“You’re still bleeding.” He says, using his thumb to brush away the line of blood, smearing a red tinge on your skin.
He looks into your eyes and for a second he sees the tough exterior drop. The face of someone who got smacked across the cheek all for mouthing off at some asshole.
Your vulnerability doesn’t last long, though, as you sniff and walk towards the car, opening the passenger door and sitting inside before Bucky can make it over there to open the door for you.
The drive back to the apartment is silent, and Bucky doesn’t know what to do or say to fill the silence. Stepping into the apartment, you immediately go to change and collect your things. Bucky moves to the bathroom to look for a first aid kit of some kind.
He meets you in the room and you’re now in cotton pants and a large t-shirt, sandals on your feet showing the bright red color of your toenails and the lines indented in your skin from how tight your heels were. You’re hanging up the dress and zipping it back in the cover when Bucky drops the first aid kit on the bed.
“Christ, it’s only a small cut.” You mumble.
“Just - Let me, would you?”
He takes out the liquid of disinfectant and soaks a cotton pad, cleaning off your cheek bone with it before covering it with healing ointment and a bandaid.
You don’t thank him when he finishes and he huffs as he closes the kit, “When do you drop the act, huh?”
“I don’t.”
“Really?” Bucky asks in annoyed disbelief.
“No. People tend to try and have me whacked when I drop the act.”
He sighs, “So, what, nobody ever takes care of you? Treats you? You don’t have any days off? Time to be yourself?”
“This lifestyle doesn’t really allow me to have days off, Sergeant Barnes.” You snap, gathering the dress in your hands and turning to face him completely.
“Take me home, I’m tired and my feet hurt.”
You leave him in the room and he waits an extra few seconds before dropping the conversation and following you out.
...
Bucky opens the back door to the environmental facility with his right hand and sees the door to your office open, you and your crew sitting together surrounded by cigar smoke and he can hear a TV on.
“Sir, please step into the vehicle.”
“Like the cop would be callin’ this asshole Sir if the fuckin’ cameras weren’t around!” You wave a hand at the TV, not yet seeing Bucky standing there.
He finds it funny that the gnarliest criminals - the literal Mafia - spend their time watching shitty, scripted cop shows.
It’s been about two weeks since the mission with you where you retrieved the serums. Sam went to prom with your sister five days ago, which was hilarious for him, especially when he got photo prints of different sizes in the mail at his apartment. He didn’t bother thinking about how you found his address.
One of the men sitting next to you glances his way and sees him standing there, smirking at the vision of him; hair combed slightly back and to the side, and a large bouquet of flowers in his right hand and a small paper box in his left.
“You got company, Boss.” He says.
You look over to the doorway and your jaw drops in an open-mouthed smile.
“Look at googootz! Now this is a man that knows how to treat a lady, are you boys paying attention?” You tease, scurrying over to him and pinching one of his cheeks, resting your free hand on his large bicep to guide him into the room, the rest of your crew ushering out to give the two of you privacy.
“What’s in the box?”
“Cannoli.”
You throw your head back with an exaggerated moan, “You know the way to an Italian woman’s heart, Sergeant Barnes. What’s with all the gifts?”
“Thought I’d treat you.” Is all his response is.
You narrow your eyes at him and stand up a little straighter, crossing your arms over your chest.
The last conversation before he dropped you off that night hasn’t escaped his mind. He understands the difficulties of life - how it’s hard to find time for yourself among the busy schedule that is existing. He catches himself sometimes, too, forcing his body to run with no sleep, burning through all of his energy until he’s completely drained and blaming it on life.
But life’s not always like that. Life allows for days off. For treats. For a bit of kindness. And Bucky’s come to show you just that.
“What, a beautiful woman like you never received flowers and pastries before?” He says, taking a half-step forward to be close enough to look you closer in the eyes.
“Are you flirting with me?” You whisper in amusement.
His eyes glance away from yours to look down at your red-painted lips. He gives you a shy smirk, really turning up the charm. For a big, bad, boss, you’re pretty easy to break down.
“Let me take you out tonight.”
“Maybe I’ve got plans.”
“Cancel ‘em.”
“What makes you think you’re worth canceling plans for?”
“Why don’t you trust me and find out?”
“You should know by now, Sergeant Barnes, that I don’t trust.”
He doesn’t respond for a moment, setting the box of cannoli on your desk before reaching his now free hand up to your face, using his finger to brush away a stray hair and push it behind your ear.
He then takes a hold of one of your hands, turning it over to place a kiss on the top of it, before wrapping your fingers around the flowers in his other hand, forcing you to take them.
“No restaurant you’ve been to a hundred times over, no drama, no business. Just a man trying to treat a lady.” You look down at the flowers before meeting his eyes again.
“I get to pick the place.”
“No.”
“The kind of food.”
“No.”
“The -”
“No. Let me take care of everything.” Bucky insists, determined to get you to give up control for the first time in what he can only imagine has been a very long time.
Bucky knows better than anyone how terrifying it is to give up control. It was terrifying when he was forced to give up control, his free will taken away from him in the war for decades upon decades, but it’s terrifying even now when he has to do it as a free man. It makes a person vulnerable. When was the last time you were allowed to be vulnerable for somebody?
“I’m gonna pick you up here at six. Wear something nice and leave the executive attitude at home.” He finishes, leaving you with the flowers and cannoli before returning back outside, ignoring the stares he receives from you crew who wait patiently outside your office.
He feels your eyes follow him at the door, and he can’t wait to sweep you off your feet tonight.
204 notes · View notes
iwaisuke · 4 years ago
Text
confessions; but not remembering it
ft. kita shinsuke, sakusa kiyoomi x sick fem!reader
genre: fluff
masterlist
a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and then i rushed bc i was getting tired 🙃 also. sakusa's is a little ooc. sorry ab that
-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆
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» the clean yet musty smell of rain filled the gym as the boys practiced. it was a surprisingly humid and rainy spring day today here in the country side of hyogo
» "achoo" you had been sneezing and coughing all day. you also had a terrible headache but took some medicine to see if it would help. the spring allergies really getting to you
» you didnt reay have the time to be worrying about yourself. As a 2nd year manager of the inarizaki team, (recommend by suna) and the boys working so hard practicing for nationals there was no way you'd let this little cold get in the way. you had to work just as hard as everyone else!
» "hold on, im about to hang up your jerseys to dry"
» "i got you guys some fresh towels!"
» "i can run and grab that coach. im headed that way anyways"
» the coach called for a short break to rest up for a bit. everyone was sore and exhausted from practicing every day. "here. i filled your water bottles up!" handing them to all the boys. "y/n you're all wet" akagi sounded concerned.
» "hm? oh its alright. I'll dry off in a minute. i took the shortcut to the drinking fountain to refill your waterbottles instead of taking the long way" you nonchalantly said. "so you ran through the rain like an idiot?" suna threw a clean towel over your damp hair and ruffled it. "suna!! stop!! you're gonna ruin my hair"
» "like i said. its alright" you reassured the boys.
» kita, on the other hand had noticed your fatigue. although he wasnt as perceptive on peoples feeling and thoughts as well as others, he could easily pick up signs like yours. he admired you dearly for how hard you always work for the team. how you willingly did anything to make them smile. how you always put others first before yours. needless to say, he had a bit of a crush on you.
» "l/n san. i think you should take a break too. there's no need for you to be running around for us while we're resting" kita assured you. "i still have a few things left on my list to do.. but afterwards I'll take a break!" kita let out a sigh. you were stubborn sometimes and kita knew you were the kind of person to not stop until you're finished.
» "I'll be right back. i gotta grab the laundry"
» making an excuse to leave, your heart was beating fast. you knew kita's words were the kind he'd say to anyone, but it made your heart feel fuzzy when he'd look out for you.
» the stone cold captain who you thought he was, actually was so kind. he was just a little awkward like you, and a little blunt with what he said sometimes. but you learned the great qualities he carries and how much he actually cares about others well being. he was a hard worker and you couldnt help but absentmindedly fall for the captain.
» running up the stairs to the second floor of the gym, you felt a shift in your step. head becoming dizzier than it was just 5 minutes ago. legs trembling, you started falling before feeling a presence behind.
» kita's arm wrapped around your waist, supporting you in efforts to not letting you fall over. "i told you to rest l/n san" kita said sternly. "you wont benefit anyone if you keep overworking like this."
» you knew kita was right, but you really didnt want to rest knowing you'll be letting the team down by not working hard.
» "i promise I'll rest as soon as im done with this one thing" pleading with kita. he let out a sigh, knowing you really wouldnt until you did finish so he allowed you to do so.
» finishing grabbing all of the dry jerseys and bringing them downstairs to pass out to everyone, you didnt really notice atsumu and osamu spiking volleyballs at each other until aran yelled
» "y/n! watch out!" honestly, you were too tired to move out of the way so you figured, it do be like that sometimes, and allowed the ball to hit you.
» or... so you had planned the ball to hit you.
» kita stood in front, blocking the impact of the spike that you had prepared yourself for. there was agitation in kita's eyes. more than you usually noticed when then twins were miss behaving. concern washing over, he looked you straight in the eyes
» "... is there something wrong kita san?" lifting up his hand to your forehead, he let out a sigh. "why didnt you tell me earlier you had a fever", then walking over to the coach meanwhile atsumu and osamu come over to apologise for being reckless.
» "get your stuff. we're going home" kita said bluntly.
» "huh? but practice is-"
» "please l/n san. for me"
» kita would only take yes for an answer this time. no if's ands or buts. so here you were, walking home with kita. only the sound of raindrops hitting your shared umbrella being heard.
» muscles starting to ache a little more and your legs becoming more tired than they were when you left the gym, you began to walk a little slower every step
» "get on my back l/n" "its ok kita san, i can walk. its already enough that you're walking me home" "i didnt ask if you wanted to. im telling you to"
» you couldnt tell if it was the fever that made your face warmer or if it was kita's words. nonetheless, you got on kita's back. he was a lot stronger than he looked and you couldnt help but stifen at being so close to your own crush like this.
» "relax. I'll make sure you get home." he reassured. you leaned into his back, warmth seeping in, your eyes began to feel heavy.
» "kita san" "yes?" "thank you for always watching out for me"
» a comfortable silence was met as the sound of rain filled your ears.
» "kita san" "hm?" "did you know..." your voice softened "i like you a lot kita san"
» did he hear you correctly? if he wasnt paying attention he wouldve missed what you had said, being drowed out through the pitter patter of water. now his heart thumping louder than ever before.
» "l/n san-" he was about to go on but was met with the gentle rise and fall of your chest and the soft snores of you on his back, knocked out from exertion. kita let out a light chuckle, finally relieved you were resting.
» you had missed the next day of school, but when you came back the whole volleyball team bombarded you with love.
» "WE'RE A FAILURE TO NOT NOTICE YOU FEELING SICK" atsumu cried. "how could we let our one and only precious manager get ill for taking care of us" akagi, clearly dissapointed in himself. "please let us know when we can take care of you too y/n" aran said.
» "its no big deal. really!" waving your hands in defense. "it was just a small cold. but i do have a question though"
» all the boys gathered around to hear what you had to say
» "how did i get home?? i really dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu"
» it shocked the guys honestly. you genuinely didnt remember a single thing due to your fever. "wait? you don't remember kita taking you home?" suna replied, your face becoming red. "k-kita san took me home-?" "yah. he left in the middle of practice to do so" osamu added.
» immediately, you got up to find the captain that apparently took you home the other day. he was in the storage closet cleaning and grabbing the equipment for todays practice.
» "kita san" "oh. l/n. glad you're feeling better" his smile brightened the musty closet. "about that, im sorry for troubling you and having you take me home the other day. i honestly dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu. my mind was really fuzzy that day, but im truly thankful for you going out of your way for me. it really means a lot"
» kita was dumbfounded. you really dont remember? "no need to apologize l/n. it was my responsibility as a captain. and afterall, what good would i be if i couldnt even take care of the person who means the most to me"
» your heart raced. 'person who means the most to me' ? cheeks blushing a rosy pink, you were internally thanking the musty store room from being dim.
» with arms full of equipment, kita walked by you and stopped.
» "by the way l/n san. did you know?"
» ears perking up at the vague yet familiar line
» "i like you a lot too l/n san"
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» now we all know sakusa HATES germs and for the past week and a half, he's been telling you to keep up with washing your hands, wearing a mask at all times even when you eat omi it doesnt work like that. pls especially since you are prone to getting sick easily no matter how hygenic you are. your immune system just hated you. PERIODT
» you remembered sakusa scolding you for running out of hand sanitizer and then the next day you were out of commission. bed ridden with laryngitis, cough, slight fever, the whole works. it was like your body was making fun of you or something
» you texted komori, asking him to take notes in class for you and relay homework information while you were at home resting up. but there was one request you had and made komori PROMISE.
» DO NOT TELL SAKUSA YOU GOT SICK
» "he's probably gonna notice your absence y/n. he'll find out about it either way"
» "well if you dont tell him then he wont know. its not like he even cares about where i am like that"
» "thats what you might think. but i know he's gonna say something i can garuntee it"
» the next day at school, sakusa did notice your presence missing. it was quieter not having a 3rd person in the group of friends. not having you around to talk to him when komori was gone.
» pulling out his phone to text you, he asked where you were that day.
» "on a family trip :D !!! forgot to tell you, but I'll tell you all about it when i come back!" you wrote, attaching an old selfie of a different trip you went on to make it more believable.
» you had hoped this silly cold would get better in a day, but soon that day turned into 2 and then 3 and then 4... you pretty much missed the whole week of school at that point
» Friday rolled around and komori was on his phone all day. sakusa noticed his cousin fidget in his chair more than usual and it irked him to see him like that
» "what's with you today?" one eye raised, sakusa finally asked. "uhhh nothing really" komori wasnt very good at keeping secrets lets just start off with that, but he was trying his best.
» "well clearly somethings wrong. you're fidgeting." "well haven't you noticed somethings been different all week?" komori hinted
» sakusa sat there in thought. nothing's been different? he ate the same breakfast he usually does every morning. all his studies have been well. there were no tests this week so there was no reason to be anxious like komori was and even if there was, he would've done well anyways.
» "just tell me what it is." sakusa was starting to get annoyed. "y/n..." komori started. "y/n?" "do you know where she's been this week?"
» did you not tell komori about your family trip? you usually told komori everything, but then again you didn't tell him either until he asked you about it.
» "she said shes on a trip?" he nonchalantly said. komori's eyes started watering. "A TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL THATS WHAT IT IS" he blurted out. komori didnt mean to let it slip , he was just so worried about your well being.
» "hospital?? what are you talking about. did she get injured on her trip?" "no omi. shes been sick all week and her mom just texted me saying she went to the hospital today because shes had a fever for 3 days straight. there is no family trip"
» sakusa's heart shattered. you were sick and didnt even tell him?
» before both he and komori knew it, his legs were running faster to get to the hospital than he had ever imagined he could ever run.
» and there you were. fast asleep in a bed with an IV drip. your face flushed, forehead sweaty and shallow breaths escaping your chapped lips. you were a hot mess but sakusa didnt care. stepping to your bedside to greet your mother she explained to him that she had to go to work and asked if he could watch over you until she gets back.
» sakusa said yes without even hearing the whole thing. his heart and mind saying yes to whatever it took to get you to feel better.
» gosh how he hated hospitals, but what he hated even more was the fact that you were in the hospital and he didnt even know.
» the doctor came in for their evening round and ensured sakusa that you were indeed getting better! your fever had broken not too long ago and your body was working extra hard to heal itself up!
» "is there anything i can do to help?" sakusa asked. he felt helpless in this situation just watching your face distort in uncomfort every now and then, and coughing your lungs out.
» patting sakusa's shoulder, the doctor told him that just being here for you is enough. "you gotta be a strong boyfriend for her alright son? she'll be able to go home tomorrow first thing in the morning if her fever doesnt come back"
» sakusa slumped in his chair at your bedside, the doctors words ringing through his head. 'boyfriend huh?' he thought to himself. "if i was her boyfriend..." he whispered to himself, "i would be a failure for not even knowing my girl was sick..."
» to kiyoomi, you were beautiful. even now in this sad state you were in. deep down he locked these growing feelings he had for you inside of him because he always felt like you were a better match with someone else and after this stunt you pulled of lying to him about going on a family trip, it only made him feel worse.
» it was now night time and you finally began to stir in your sleep, the fever finally gone. sakusa reached out to move some hair that was stuck to your face, fingers tracing the outline of your jaw. your eyes slowly opened and met with his dark orbs.
» "y/n?" "saku- wait this is just a dream. omi wouldn't be here. he hates hospitals" you let out a forced laugh and then a sigh through your sore throat.
» you reached out to sakusa's hands that were resting on the side of your bed. "omi would never let me hold his hand because he'd say im passing germs to him so hopefully dream omi wont be the same" you were aimlessly talking to yourself, not even realizing that this really wasnt a dream.
» he squeezed your hand in return. hoping that you wouldnt let go any time soon. a funny smile appeared on your face just at the thought of him. "even if you're stupid for not realizing how much i like you... i cant wait to see you again omi" you whispered before falling asleep again.
» sakusa didnt know what to do. he sat there frozen in his chair. it was his first time hearing you call him omi. heck. you literally just confessed to the boy. his brain was running wild. groaning in distress he let go of your hand to step out for a breath of fresh air now that you were back asleep.
» it was 5am and your mother came back to the hospital and thanked sakusa for staying by your side. He left in a hurry to make sure you didnt see him there.
» Monday rolled around and sakusa was waiting outside of the school gates for you. he had planned on asking you about your "trip"
» "good morning sakusa!!" your bright and cheery voice rang through his ears. honestly he was trembling inside. the memory of you confessing to him still fresh in his mind.
» "how was your trip?" you stopped dead in your tracks. "haha... it was good !! sorry i forgot to get you a souvenir" you were trying to play it cool but sakusa could tell you were forcing yourself. "i wouldnt want a souvenir from where you came from so its fine" sakusa's words threw you off. "i - im not sure im understanding what you're saying sakusa?"
» you felt a tug on your hand. "dont you mean omi?" his voice husky as he whispered into your ear. cheeks flushed, your brain felt like it short circuted. you've always tried your hardest to not let it slip that you want to call him omi since he hated when people called him that.
» sakusa smirked at your cute reaction he got out of you. letting go of your hand he began to walk into the school leaving you at the gate dumbfounded. "and by the way. you're just as stupid for not realizing how long ive liked you too"
-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆
thank you for your order! enjoy~!
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ri-ahhh · 4 years ago
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can u just give me mushy gushy shit with grayson like ethan has a girl over so the two of you decide to go out for a burger date and a walk at night? idk something like that pls 👉🏻👈🏻
A/N: I couldn’t even tell you how long this has been sitting in my drafts but I was looking through trying to find something to finish bc I was in the mood to write but not from scratch and found this lol. It was about halfway done and I have no idea where I was going with it but this is what it turned into as of today. Idek if there’s even anyone around here anymore to read this but whatever haha here it is.
You don’t usually mind being single. Even when your best friend/roommate Stella started seeing her boyfriend Charlie seriously, it didn’t give you any longing for a relationship of your own.
But there are some nights where you feel down and you just can’t handle it. The scenes of casual intimacy as soon as you get home and see them together — the vase of flowers on the kitchen island he must have brought over; the playful bickering across the room.
The incessant, unrelenting sound of a marathon session going on through the shared wall of your and Stella’s bedrooms.
You groan and turn the volume up on your AirPods, going straight to your messages next.
Wyd?
{G} 👀
Don’t be weird.
Pretty sure Stella and Charlie are trying to put a hole in the wall w her headboard and I can’t take it anymore.
Your roommate chooses that moment to let out a particularly enthusiastic “fuck!” If she weren’t your best friend, you might have given in to the urge to bang on the wall, but your phone lights up with Grayson’s reply anyway.
{G} E too.
{G} I mean like I can’t hear him but ik what’s going down in there
{G} I’d offer to pick u up but sounds like u need to get outta there lol. Meet me here?
You like the message and slip on some shoes, making sure to slam your bedroom door closed on your way out, as if it would make them pause even one thrust.
In the year that you’ve known him, Grayson Dolan has become one of your closest friends. The kind where you met as acquaintances, never talked much, but then you reconnected randomly and the conversation never stopped from there on. You talk about anything and everything, but recently you’ve bonded even more about being a perpetual third wheel. You knew he’d understand and not pass judgement on you in times like this, so it had been a no-brainer to text him as an escape from tonight.
He buzzes you into the gate when you get to his house, and he tells you over another text to go ahead and hop in the Porsche before he even gets outside. It makes you smile; night drives are your favorite, and while the Tesla is a vibe in its own right, there’s just something calming about someone (your attractive friend, no less) tangibly driving you around. It’s exactly what you need right now, no matter what destination he has in mind.
When he slides into the driver’s side not even a minute later, you’re almost overwhelmed by him. Looking far too good in your eyes for how casual he’s dressed in a well-fitting T-shirt and some grey sweats. Hair slightly damp from a recent shower.
He greets you with a grin and leans over the console to kiss your cheek, and you can smell the combination of his shampoo and a bit of cologne. You always appreciated that he doesn’t overdo the fragrance, and if possible it makes him even more intoxicating at times.
“Hey,” he says simply, sitting back in his seat and fastening the seatbelt.
“Hey.” You smile and watch him with a silent but fairly obvious appreciation as he reaches a hand to rest on the back of your seat, twisting the bit he needs to look out the back windshield. The Porsche has a backup camera, obviously, but he’s a cautious driver to a fault and insists he doesn’t fully trust them.
Grayson gets the car facing enough of the right direction to throw it in drive and exit down the long driveway. You shake your head and settle back, kicking off your shoes with a sigh and tucking your feet onto the seat beneath you.
“One day, we’ll be the ones making them leave the house,” he jokes, stopping for the gate to open.
You know it’s implied that he’s referring to the two of you with separate people, but you can’t help but consider the option that the two of you could make that happen together.
“I know for a fact you have a booty call list a mile long, Dolan,” you say with a raised brow. Despite the fleeting thought, keeping things lighthearted and platonic is much easier to deal with in reality. “You could have called one of them and done just that.”
He scoffs and pretends like you’ve just hurt him deeply, slapping a hand to his burly chest to clutch at his heart. “Excuse me, it is not a mile long.” He glances over at you with a held-back smirk. “A couple hundred yards, tops.”
You throw your head back with a loud cackle, looking out the window now as he turns onto the main road. “You’re incorrigible.”
“Damn, that’s a big word.” He likes to tease you about your extended vocabulary.
“Hopeless,” you elaborate, crossing your arms and rolling your eyes.
“Is that what that word means, or are you making fun of my high school dropout vocab?”
“Both.”
You let your head roll back against the headrest, turning to watch him, knees swayed to the side a bit. His form isn’t hidden in the dark at all, features lit up by the dash in front of him and the streetlights you’re passing by outside.
“Why didn’t you, then? Call one of them?”
Grayson shrugs. “Just didn’t really feel like spending time with people tonight.”
You’re silent for a moment and consider his answer. “Why did you agree to hang out, then? You didn’t have to.”
His eyes never leave the road, but you see the veins in his hand gripping the steering wheel bulge out for a moment as he squeezes it tightly.
“I guess I meant I didn’t want to spend time with people I don’t really care about.”
Your heart skips a beat, but you play it off with a sarcastic tone. “Aw, you care about me?”
“Of course I do,” he replies easily. “I’m not sure why, though. You’re so fuckin sassy sometimes.”
“You love it.”
The car rolls to a stop at a red light. Grayson’s hand slides from where it’s lightly gripping the gear shift, to yours, which is picking at a loose string on your leggings.
Your easy smile at the comfortable banter between you and Grayson falters some in surprise, but you let him turn your palm over and trace the lines of your hand softly. Both of your gazes are fixated on the way he tickles your skin when he says, “Yeah. I do.”
Your eyes shoot up, just in time to meet his. He looks at you with a weird mixture heat and vulnerability, and there’s a thick moment of silence, no longer than the single beat of your heart that you can hear thudding loud and clear in your ears, when suddenly the car behind you lays on the horn.
Both of you startle, and Grayson’s attention returns to the road ahead. He steps on the gas and takes his hand away, carding it through his hair roughly as you sink back into your seat with a disbelieving scoff.
“Oh my God, dude, you can’t just do that to me,” you blurt out, your heart in your stomach and your brain even lower. A helpless giggle escapes you, and you tug on your own locks. “Shit...”
“What?” he asks defensively, but you hear the tiny bit of the grin he’s wearing in his voice.
You turn your head to deadpan him, eyes wide. “You can’t just... imply something like that and give me sex eyes and not think you did something to me! Are you crazy?”
He gives a one-shouldered shrug with the arm resting on top of the steering wheel again. “Maybe. You’re proving my ‘sassy’ point all over again.”
“Oh my — don’t fuck with my head, Gray.”
“Hey.” His voice is deeper, more serious as the car comes to another stop. You’re only just now realizing you’ve reached the burger joint, and that the late hour made finding parking a nonexistent problem. He puts the car in park and unbuckles his seatbelt before doing the same to yours. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to fuck with your head, I promise. I just... didn’t want it to seem like I was coming on too strong too suddenly. I, uh, have a history of doing that.”
You stare at him, processing everything. “I know.”
He chuckles dryly. “Yeah, I know you do.”
There’s more silence. That heavy kind that happened right after his little impromptu confession.
“You know,” you finally speak up, finding your voice after mulling over your words, “I kinda love that you’re a douche.”
He looks a little taken aback, until understanding dawns on him, and his eyes light up in a way that has you smiling instantly with him. “Really?”
You nod. “Call me crazy.”
Grayson shifts closer in his seat, his pink tongue darting out to lick those plump lips. You mirror him, and this time you take the initiative to reach out for his hand. It’s warm and strong, just like the rest of him.
Like earlier, you watch your hands lightly caressing each other as you speak. “And I love that you come on strong. And that you put your heart out there.” You interlace your fingers, immediately in love with the contrast of his huge ones between your slim ones. “Makes things way easier for me.”
He grins wide. “There’s that sass again.”
You bite your lip through your smirk and tug him close to you with your clasped hands, your free one reaching behind his neck to drag his lips to yours. “Mm. Better shut me up, then.”
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7fckingidiots · 4 years ago
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Would you be alright with writing some HCs about the brothers and a MC who's a trans guy? Sorry if it's a tall order or too vague, they're a big comfort for me and I'd like to see what ideas you have bcs your headcanons are fantastic ;w;
HELL YEAH DUDE!!!! IM ALSO TRANS!!! AH!!!!! demigirl rights :3 but i also find a huge comfort in the boys and i hc all of them as trans because no one can Stop Me •• but i really hope you enjoy these and remember you’re valid and i care u so much! Also i hope you don’t mind but i kinda made it gender neutral so every trans folk could enjoy!
The Brothers With A Trans MC
Lucifer
He didn’t know until you came out to him honestly. He knew all his other siblings were trans but with all the work Diavolo gave him and adding new students from different realms on top of that he hadn’t really had time to notice any minor changes in you.
He feels guilty about this and immediately makes sure(like everyone else)to ask for your pronouns, name, and how you would like to present yourself from now on.
Fixes your ID cards and your papers with Diavolo right after dinner
God. He’s such a dad and he gets you things that have your new name on them. You wake up to see you have a new pencil case with your name embroidered on it with matching pencils. God.....he’s so weird i love him so much
Asmo does most of your clothing shopping but for formal wear he takes you shopping! He’s not about to buy you some cheap tux or gown ok it’s gonna be over 2000 grim and he’s gonna get you three of them STOP HIM
He’s not the best with verbal affection so he writes down notes that are like “you looked very handsome/pretty today.” or when he first starts writing them they’re like “you’re a boy/girl/kid. i’m proud of you.” Thank u mr morningstar
You want surgery or to start hormones??? He will stop all his work with Diavolo and spend forever looking up things for you, he wants you to be as safe as possible(pls he almost fainted after he realized you’d have to give yourself a shot like everyday dhdhdhjdhd hc that demons/angels don’t have to do hormone therapy i’m so JEALOUS)
Practices saying your pronouns in his study when you first come out. He just wants to make sure you feel as safe as possible in his care(and he remembers how terrible it felt to be misgendered)
Guess what....he loves you no matter what :)
Mammon
You’re blind as hell if you couldn’t see his top scars but I respect it
King DOES slip up on your pronoun change but always immediately corrects himself. Satan has a spray bottle that he sprays Mammon with when he does it. Mammon is NOT amused but the same can’t be said for Belphie.
Gender affirming activities??? Oh yeah like robbing a bank?? That’s pretty gender neutral and trans right?? Yeah!!! Wow such a good supportive brother.
If you want you can wear the formal wear Lucifer bought you to the said bank heist. Boom trans rights
You can practice painting his nails or doing his makeup if you’re too nervous to do it on yourself first!! Dw if it’s bad he also can’t do makeup or paint nails so once you let him return the favor you’re both laughing and Asmo is distraught.
KING at dying hair he will get you whatever you need and if you want an entire different hair cut entirely he’s ON it
Very used to being Loud and Brash but if you need someone to talk to about anything really he always calms down and sits down to listen to whatever you have to say.
Lots of gendered gifts from him. This said for men??? Oh ok adds to cart. Oh pink??? For ladies??? yeah that can go in there too
You’re never gonna believe this.....But he loves you and supports you :)
Levi
He was the first one to come out to you at the house!! He was just so excited! Same hat!!!
Gets literally any video game where you can design the protag/have custom pronouns and will play games like that with you for hours
Would you like a pride flag.....for u.....He has too many.....Please take the trans flag please he has no room....he bought in bulk for a pride event and didn’t consider the consequences of his actions
Miku binder but irl. He will get if for you but unironically.....thanks King. He just likes binders with patterns and i respect IT
Dysphoria?? He gives you his hoodie bc that was his trademark dysphoria hoodie and i GUESS for you he can share............he would give u anything just ask nicely he’s sensitive
Reads any character that matches up with your gender and is like!!!!! That’s you!!!! OMG!!!! You in da IRL
Goes back and edits his tweets if they use your old name or pronouns(also has he/they in his bio. this is for nothing just makes me :D)
If you haven’t chosen your name he’s gonna suggest so many fictional characters. POV levi kin assigns you.
You listen to music together that just has Trans Vibes.....maybe u cry together but there’s no judgment!! It’s just nice :)
God it’s wild but! He loves u and thinks ur great :)
Satan
Enby Satan. That’s all :)
He’s very quite about it, he supports you! He’s just not loud like his brothers
He brings you book about gender studies and LGBTQ history that he thinks would interest you(there some of his favorite books and they’ve made him feel the most comfortable in his gender)
Gives you a name list if you haven’t named yourself yet! He cares about you and wants to make sure you have the right name that suits you
He’s the one that tells you that it’s ok if you’re still figuring it all out, learning about yourself is a very tricky process and if anyone knows that it’s Satan
Any of the brothers would kill anyone who misgendered you but with Satan that shit is ON SIGHT
Asks you how you know and what were the signs that gave it away to you, but only if you’re comfortable telling him!! He just finds everyone’s experience interesting and would like to know yours as well.
Spells for fucking DAYS Satan personally kills body dysphoria the best he can(mainly bc he’s HIGHKEY afraid of you getting surgery he hates knives so much)
Makes your comfort food for you when you’re feeling down about yourself and will read whatever you want to hear outloud to you.
!!!!!! GET THIS !!!!!! He loves YOU :0
Asmo
Fucking excited!!!! This means you two are going to buy so much clothing together and he gets to style you let’s GO
Buys you whatever you want but he will make you try it all on so be CAREFUL what u wish for.....ur gonna be there till the store closes yeah......
Paints your nails with the trans pride flag!! Also does your makeup and gives you tips on how to look more masculine or fem!!
VOICE LESSONS
He will help you lower or raise the pitch of your voice if it KILLS him. It eventually becomes like a mini class after school
Helps with internalized transphobia! Hes dealt with his fair share and knows how awful it can be and he will NOT being having you experience that as well we r practicing Self Care now
Picks apart any one who misgenders you until they’re crying he has NO fucking time for that behavior in this HOUSE
Sometimes self care is eating whatever you want and sitting in the dysphoria hoodies while watching chick flicks with Asmo
He likes dressing you up but he’s always sure to set boundaries so he never puts you into something that makes you feel uncomfortable
ALSO edits his posts and takes down anything that makes you uncomfortable!!
He loves you so much!!!!
Beel
another one to hand you The Dysphoria Hoodie and it’s very large and comfy!
he’ll help you make out a work out routine that will help you get the body you want and it makes him really happy to work out with you :)
he’s gonna hold your hand if you have to take shots and will give you puppy eyes if you don’t let him. He’s just worried!!!! He wants to help
stands behind you whenever you’re nervous about coming out to someone, he will NOT have someone making you feel bad or misgendering you
he’ll see food with trans pride colors and gives it too you, probably doesn’t even know what it is half the time but it made him think of you so he makes sure to get it for you
he doesn’t trip up on any of your new pronouns or name and makes it seem like he never even knew them. dead name???? what’s that??? a type of sauce?????
will let you vent to him whenever needed and will always make you a sundae after you’ve finished. it’s comically huge but it’s tasty and does make you feel a lot better, thanks beel
makes sure you remember to take off your binder if you’ve been wearing it for more than eight hours! and if you’ve been wearing heels to feel more fem he reminds you to take those off too and has a pair of slippers for you in his room that you can wear instead
hey! get this! He loves you so, so much :D
Belphie
you’re trans? ok kid join the club. he doesn’t make a big deal at all
are you still gonna cuddle with him and join him in his quest to make lucifer’s life difficult? yeah? ok then cool what’s ur name 
if he hears someone misgender you he waits till you’ve left the room and just kills whoever did it, dude’s unhinged what did you expect from him honestly
he’s actually really curious about any hormone therapy you’re on and likes listening to you rant about it to him. he likes seeing your face light up and it partly reminds him of lilith
calls your hormones something stupid like “oh dude, your gamer girl juice arrived.” or “hey your little man potion is here.” ...thanks belphie
will NOT let you sleep in a binder or push up bra!!! not healthy!! let ur chest breath guys 
like mammon, he gets you gendered gifts but they’re so fucking weird? you didn’t need a girls version of a collectable hot wheels set???? he got you blue lightning mcqueen sheets?????? those EXIST here????!!!!! when does he even shop......
introduces you to new people like “this is our resident boy/girl/human. they don’t do much but i think they’re cool.”
he really does care about you but he remembers when he came out he just didnt want people to make a big deal about it so he’s just doing what would have made him feel the most comfortable, but you can still see how much love he has for you when you look into his eyes
he loves you, so, so much :)
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ohpleaselarry · 4 years ago
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ten larry proofs that i DARE antis to explain
hey guys, so it’s 2021 now and i’m sure i’m not the only one who feels “un-larrie” sometimes, so i decided to make this post to come back to if i ever feel off. here are the top ten proofs that literally don’t make sense unless they are/were together. there’s plenty of cute moments and receipts out there, but these ten are just openly obvious and try as i might they just don’t make sense if L&H are just friends. 
one: “always so obvious” 
this one’s pretty lOUD if i do say so myself. Liam catches the boys staring at each other and whispers to L “always so obvious”, making L smile and look away. what’s so obvious, Liam? why is the two of them staring at each other “obvious?” 
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two: “you can’t sit together”
i’m sure we’ve all seen this one. H asks L where he wants to sit, L responds “next to you”, and very clearly heard in the video someone off-cam says “you can’t sit together”. they turn back to the cameras and plaster on smiles. interesting, isn’t it? how two just friends aren’t allowed to sit together when they ask to? hmm wonder why?
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three: “mine”
as we know, all of the boys know a bit of sign language, using it to communicate to tech about mics and such, but it’s not always used for band stuff. in this clip, we have L very clearly switching hands to properly sign “mine”. they seem to use a mixture of BSL and ASL, and here he’s using ASL. notice how H nods his confirmation? 
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four: “hope”
for a long time, we thought this gif could be him just crossing for good luck, until i started actually getting into sign language myself, and learned that crossing the fingers actually means “hope” in BOTH ASL and BSL. interesting, right? 
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we have lots of sign language moments, but i decided not to include the “sweetheart” sign, as it’s been used between ALL of the boys on multiple occasions, and technically isn’t “sweetheart” unless they’re together with thumbs pressed. I also decided not to include L’s “hazza, not a big deal sad one” at the concert when H missed his note bc technically it’s not proof, it could easily be supportive friends. this post is only for legitimate proof. 
five: “you were mine”
i’m sure we all remember this one. twitter questions on tour, someone asked “what was your favourite ride at universal?” H goes to L and says “you were mine”. very platonic, yes. i can’t think of a single instance when whispering this into your friends ear just for him wouldn’t be awkward. unless you aren’t just friends. 
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six: “drop my b-”
okay, now lets get to the real shit. in an interview, they were talking about H finally getting his drivers license. they asked the first thing he did. he says he’d just used it because he “was drop my b-” then he makes the most hilarious oopsie face and finishes it off roughly “cause they brought the car to me, and i dropped them off at the pub.” this one may be the easiest in this list to dilute, because yes, he could’ve been saying ‘best mate’ but would he have stopped and re-said the sentence if that were the case? why? unless he were going to say boyfriend. 
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seven: WELLINGTON
now this is probably the most frustrating evidence we have, but you must be out of your damn mind if you can’t hear L clearly yell “boyfriend!” just before he leans into H’s arms. sure, they’re pissed, but maybe that’s exactly why he isn’t quite so careful. watch the video and come back and tell me that isn’t what he says, because i’ve spent more time than i’d like to admit trying to hear anything else.
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eight: “sorry”
this one’s pretty clear, and pretty damn obvious. they’re asked who they’d like to take home after the brit’s in 2012, and H says “adele” multiple times, then says “maybe ill try later, who knows”. the interview goes on, and H turns to L and apologises. why apologise to a friend when talking about taking someone home? you can also hear him say it if you bump up the sound in the video, as he’s holding the mic a little too close. 
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nine: “the larry arm”
so this one was nearly number ten bc of how loud it is, and i constantly come back to this when i’m feeling off. at this concert, this girl writes “LARRY” on her arm, big and obvious, and H comes by and sends her a thumbs up TWICE. then as if it’s not enough, he comes back, POINTS at his forearm where she’s written it, and sends a third thumbs up. now this is well into the larry stuff. if they wanted the rumours to be gone, why essentially tell a fan it’s true? 
my laptop refuses to upload the gif so here’s the post with all four gifs
ten: “L wants a kiss”
now this one i like to call “the most high quality wellington”. basically they’re in an interview. Liam is talking, so i assume the boys think there’s no cameras on them. L turns to H and leans in. as you can see in the gif, it’s quite a close lean. he doesn’t smile like it’s a joke, he doesn’t move to his ear like he wants to whisper. no, he’s asking for a kiss. H moves his hand up and brushes L’s cheek to try to play it off, so L purses his lips like sending him a kiss, and turns away. H bumps him to get his attention, and says “creep” into the mic. i assume this is their signal for “there’s someone watching” or “there’s cameras on us”. L then makes a classic oopsie face and starts fiddling with a water bottle. Niall in the background laughs, watching them. 
this is probably the most damning evidence we have. do you guys lean into your friends that close? i know i don’t lmao. i love how H doesn’t move away also
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and that’s it, folks! my larry views usually change day to day, but it always comes back to these and i know deep in my heart that even if they aren’t together now, they definitely were at some point. anyone who would like to dispute these please be my guest, I’d love to hear your attempted explanations for these. 
if you have any to add, pls make sure it’s hardcore evidence that can’t be explained by anything else but larry. have a good one ;)
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save-the-spiral · 4 years ago
Note
PLS PLS LIST THE SWAPS!! TELL ME ABOUT THE SIBLINGS AND ALSO HIFUMI BECAUSE I LOVE HIM (IF YOU WANT!) I will also send more questions in the morning too, excited to see what you’ve been working on!!
OK OK OK !!!!! AHH! So, before assigning talents, I swapped the pools, so for the first game, I use the talents from the second game, and vis versa! For some i listed gender, sexuality, or neurodivergencies, though this isn’t all of them, and I haven’t developed them all to the same level!
This is SO long. I didn’t even bother mentioning things like my plans for the killing games. (I have DR1 planned out in full, but only parts of DR2 and the v3 anime)
THANK YOU FOR THE ASK MY HEART SKIPPED A BEAT IN HAPPINESS WHEN I SAW I HAD NEW ASK NOTIFS!!
LIST:
Trigger Happy Havoc (first game)
Kyoko Kirigiri- Ultimate Luckster- Mastermind (: Sometimes lesbians can be evil okay! was trained as a detective like everyone in her family and didn’t get the ultimate :) she’s definitely not mad about that :) her luck cycle depends on how far she plans things ahead. her good luck is when she’s spontaneous! She hates when ‘normal’ people are accepted by ultimates.
Makoto Naegi- Photographer (Mostly wildlife and nature photography, with Sayaka helping him for some animal photography (: trans and bi <3 One of sayaka’s birds nests in his hair like all the time)
Kiyotaka Ishimaru- Ultimate Swordsman (AUTISTIC ICON, has trained in kendo since he was a kid, then was essentially given away to the Fujisaki clan by his very stressed dad. Semiverbal, rarely speaks.)
Chihiro Fujisaki- Ultimate Yakuza (Taka is her bodyguard! His family is in debt to hers, the Fujisaki clan is the most powerful in Japan. trans icon, of course, dates Sayaka! Very direct, though she’s far more delicate and polite when talking to taka, her best friend)
Sakura Oogami- Ultimate Nurse (Works as an EMT- her clan still is in martial arts, so she’s still very buff, she assists in injuries at the family dojo. Autistic Icon)
Asahina Aoi- Ultimate Gamer (ULTIMATE ADHD. streams and has a ton of fun, will ramble while breaking records, demigirl who loves her girlfriend sakura :)
Mukuro Ikusaba- Ultimate Chef (Works best with ‘cheap’ food, and making them taste good. a byproduct of growing up on the streets with junko, and junko being bored of the same old food they dug out of the trash. now works closely with junko for her teams’ nutritional needs! autistic and sapphic.)
Junko Enoshima- Ultimate Team Manager (there are SO many sports she can never get bored, and the professional scene is always changing! prefers coaching womens’ teams, because being an ultimate brings them more publicity and usually higher pay :)
Mondo Oowada- Ultimate Prince (OH MY BOY. trans adhd icon. now the crown prince of Novoselic, with a reagent in his place until he comes of age. His service dog Chuck is a maltese and an absolute sweetheart. Chihiro takes him under her wing to teach leadership. also dates taka later OF COURSE, though they’re poly and I may add more ppl to their relationship later.)
Celestia Ludenburg- Ultimate Musician (specializes in violin, most strings, though she can play any instrument. grew up poor, dedicated herself to an instrument and persona to cope)
Byakuya Togami- Ultimate Musician (Yep. two musicians. two catty trans gay icons about to throw down. they HATE each other and grew up as rivals. specialize in classical, they literally tore a professional orchestra full of grown adults apart trying to make them side with who was the best musician. they’re so good that they’re matched, and Hope’s Peak accepts them as one student and combined ultimate. they room together. they fight. Literally if one of them gets expelled, the other does too, so they’re STUCK. eventually they become literally inseparable and insufferable together like the WORST siblings. I love them.)
Sayaka Maizono- Breeder (animal handler) (Specializes in birds!!!!!! has songbirds on her shoulders all the time. will give unsettling animal facts without realizing they’re unsettling. sends her songbirds to serenade chihiro when they start dating <3)
Yasuhiro Hagakure- Gymnast (you see this tall goof who acts like an older brother to everyone and wonder HOW he’s a gymnast. he’s completely different in competitions, though still lighthearted. becomes a big brother figure to mukuro and junko especially <3 also trans bc i say so.)
Leon Kuwata- Traditional Dancer (he just. kinda hates it. it takes SO much work and effort but he takes to it naturally. his cousin kanon is NOT like in canon, instead she’s helpful. he’d literally rather be doing anything else. doesn’t know how to do anything like... basic either. can’t cook. cant do his own laundry. everything was dedicated to traditional japanese dancing before he attended HPA.)
Toko Fukawa- Engineer (writes schematics and is very good at it. gets VERY upset when her plans go wrong. her notes are orderly and perfect. host for their system!)
Syo- Mechanic (a factive of genocider syo, NOT an actual killer. she’s a protector mainly, and also is more adept at hands on skills when it comes to fixing things, her hands are less shaky. Her notes are a disaster and she does it to spite Toko.)
Hifumi Yamada- (???) (reserve course) Protagonist! My BOY. HIFUMI IS GOOD OKAY. He’s autistic and loves anime and gaming! he’s not particularly ultimate-leveled at them, or anything else! Attending Hope’s Peak as a reserve course student! At one point he joins the student council as a reserve course representative even if he’s only a freshman :) He’s also a moderator in Hina’s livestream chat, under the username of JusticeHammer, fastest ban hammer this side of the internet. He's internet friends with hina and sakura, and doesn’t realize Oh We Go To the same SCHOOL until he bumps into them. and realizes hina doesnt know what he looks like. but sakura does. its hilarious. he’s aroace, and during the year they’re locked in HPA, is in a queer platonic partnership with Hina and Sakura, while they’re dating each other. it’s great.)
Goodbye Despair! (second game)
Peko Pekoyama- Lucky student (ohohoh. her luck relies on her conviction. if she has doubts her bad luck strikes HARD. trans!, was taken in by Fuyuhiko’s family when she was a baby, grew up as just another kid in the family. They all expected Fuyu to go off to HPA on his own and then BOOM acceptance letter)
Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu- Programmer (He. gets so angry while coding. He has an array of rubber ducks to talk to and work through his coding issues with. trans of course. Very protective of Peko when people say she doesn’t have a ‘real’ ultimate. ADHD and Autistic)
Sonia Nevermind- Writer (Literary Girl) (Her family immigrated to Japan when she was young! She writes a lot of serial killer novels, murder mysteries and horror and all that! Trans and bi :)
Gundham Tanaka- Detective (YEAH my guy is a detective. still talks Like That. Trans and bi and he and Sonia were kinda-dating (t4t autistic power couple in the making) when things started happening. He spends some time with his cool older sister who he looks up to a LOT. He and Sonia talk through things together a lot, they both have those red string walls, one for murder cases, another for a fictional plot lmao.)
Mahiru Koizumi- Moral Compass (my GIRL. autistic. Her morals rely a lot on people taking responsibility and being reliable, and she ends up having to work through some biases she didn’t realize she had when she arrived at HPA. Is still protective of Hiyoko, though that protectiveness is spread a bit thinner to extend to the rest of the class.)
Hiyoko Saionji- Clairvoyant!!! (HI YES I COULD TALK ABOUT HER FOR DAYS. Has actual visions in dreams and when she suddenly faints, but doesn’t really realize they’re uhh Real Visions for a WHILE. uses her status as an ultimate clairvoyant to trick and bully kids when in school for a LONG time, though her homelife wasn’t great with her grandmother trying to find ways to make her visions more consistent. SHES ALSO 12 WHEN SHE JOINS THE 77TH CLASS. she’s just so advanced in academics and her ultimate is so interesting hope’s peak cant HELP but scout her early. she has SO many issues guys no one appreciates hiyoko enough, autistic gifted kid hiyoko my beloved.)
Akane Owari- Gambler (started gambling to help out her family and Got Good at it. is very very conscious of money and food like all the time. Runs the hope’s peak betting pools once she arrives. these ultimates bet on a lot of things. she ALWAYS wins. until she doesnt!!!)
Mikan Tsumiki- Martial Artist (ohhhh Mikan. Still anxious and clumsy (though not like THAT in canon) and literally no one looks at her and thinks Oh The ULTIMATE martial artist?? it isn’t until you see her in the ring that you understand. She started learning self defense as a kid because her (bad) parents essentially said she had to rely on and protect herself and no one else would help.)
Kazuichi Souda- Pop Idol (OH TRANS ICON? he’s nervous and paranoid about Everything still, though now it’s like. oh the entire world is always watching my every move this is Okay (: has the brightest neon album eras. he literally keeps up a like. weird chad persona when interacting with people because he’s masking how hard he’s constantly just internally screaming.)
Nagito Komaeda- Soldier (AHAHAH my mans got issues problems disorder he’s a messssss, this trans guy, this absolute gay. this boy leveled a city of thousands of people with his own hands and some bombs. Still has medical issues, but most of his like. treatments and medicine is hold hostage as long as he stays in line. believes the ends justify the means and anyone who dies to him is obviously weak, because look at him! he’s weak, but that doesn’t matter because he doesn’t have to be the strongest, he just has to be stronger than the weakest scum.)
Chiaki Nanami- Heir (OOF. Agender, uses any pronouns. Doesn’t really. enjoy being the heir. grew up with Byakuya in the same circles. she treats the economy and stock market and stuff like games. enjoys gaming but isn’t good at them. collects so many things. has halls full of collections. Her parents stopped controlling her once she was able to prove she had more money than them and could literally bankrupt them if she wanted.)
Hajime Hinata- Baseball Star (Chiaki’s best friend, his family was upper middle class until he hit it BIG as a baseball star. wants to do BIG things and wants to attend hope’s peak more than anything!! Doesn’t really think of baseball as his THING, just a means to an end! trans :)
Teruteru Hanamura- Biker Gang Leader (started with shaking down some jerks who didn’t pay their food and drink tabs at his mama’s restaurant. now he RUNS their tiny town. His siblings are essentially gang mascots, he works hard to keep them out of trouble (while bringing them to like. meetings where he ends up beating a dude almost to death. its fine). most of what he does it to get more money to keep the restaurant afloat and care for his mama with her health conditions.)
Nekomaru Nidai- Fashionista (the drama. the CHAOS. most people are like ohhh we can never understand this artistic genius when he’s literally just. vibing and has ADHD and a love for coffee. Works a lot on accessible clothing lines for disabled people! Also he and Kazuichi work together sometimes, Nekomaru is good at calming Kaz down and seeing like, the root of whatever problem and making it better. ALSO A TRANS ICON and just flaunts it.)
Imposter- In the hope’s peak days they are impersonating Ryota Mitarai, as a part of the 77th class. In the Killing Game they impersonate Mondo Oowada as the Ultimate Prince. They’re doin’ their best.
Ibuki Mioda- (???) (Izuru Kamakura) Protagonist! Gundham Tanaka’s older sister (though they’re in the same school year). Nonbinary and using just. an array of pronouns alongside she/her, and jokingly fights with gundham for neopronouns like MOM said it’s MY TURN on the rawrself pronouns. She attends the reserve course to stay at her brother’s side. She dresses loudly and acts even louder because !!! she wants to stand out!! in the middle of this drab reserve course hell!!  but when things go down, she wants to be someone, to be worthy of being her amazing brother’s big sister. so she accepts some offers.
NON-KILLING GAME:
Ryota Mitarai- Ultimate Analyst (stays in his room. He’s terrified of the outside world but fascinated by it. watches hope’s peak academy through security feeds, picking up on little details. he just wants to understand things but never looks at the big picture.)
Chisa Yukizome- Ultimate Boxer (Homeroom teacher!! She’s working really hard and believes in everyone! Some are intimidated by talent, but she’s never hurt anyone outside of the ring! Dating Kyosuke)
Juzo Sakakura- Ultimate Student Council President (Has anger issues, though his work at reigning them in assisted in becoming an Ultimate. Was responsible for security and the Hope’s Peak student council. Dating Kyosuke)
Kyosuke Munakata- Ultimate Housekeeper (Meticulous, works himself to the BONE even if he’s good enough to not have to do that. Is working on establishing another Hope’s Peak! Dating Chisa and Jozu!!!)
Seiko Kimura- Ultimate Blacksmith (GIVE MY GIRL KNIVES!! She’s an anxious gal, always wearing a facemask that filters the air in her forge because she has some respiratory problems. she prefers making more decorative pieces like an artist, but sometimes can create utilitarian pieces or tools to fit specific needs. Still a doormat)
Ruruka Ando- Ultimate Pharmacist (She constantly asks Seiko for new tools for her developments in medicine, saying its all for the advancement of humanity, so Seiko denying any request is SELFISH, though she never thinks to make anything for seiko’s health issues. Dating Izayoi. Specializes in medicine for mental health. Not Doing Great :)
Sonosuke Izayoi- Ultimate Confectioner (He loves sweets. LOVES them. Creates things that look plain, ordinary. but taste so GOOD you CRY and maybe ascend for a little bit. sometimes Ando makes cool new drugs to put in the sweets, who knows! It’s a mystery! He always has like. a huge refrigerated case of fresh cakes, and constantly has a lollipop in his own specialty recipe in his mouth.)
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moonlit-han · 4 years ago
Text
a sweet ride ↠ yang jeongin
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genre: bad boy!jeongin, high school au, fluff word count: 3.5k warnings: swearing, mention of smoking & underage alcohol consumption, almost suggestive request: yes (yangomangos, prompt included: “Don’t cry.”) a/n: this one’s for the jeongin enthusiasts~ 
✧ masterlist & tag list info in bio ✧
↠↞
every morning as you wait outside your high school for classes to start
you hear the thunder of his motorcycle
it’s loud, mildly obnoxious, and occasionally spits out fumes
but you don’t care
you actually like the sound of the bike and how the vibrations rumble in ur chest
it’s a sleek black and built almost entirely by him: old chassis, long handle bars, and a satisfying growl as the engine ignites
if you stand too close when he pulls up in the parking lot in the morning, you can feel the vibrations coming through the pavement
(your mum would probably lock you in a tower only a knight could enter if she ever found out you’d been on a motorcycle
…..not that you’d been on one
yet (゚▽゚`*)? )
the owner of that motorcycle is your high school’s one and only bad boy
♡・。.:*.゚yang jeongin ゚.*:.。・♡
(but please call him “I.N.” because he’s actually out of the preppy, popular crowd  ( `^´ ) )
he could ride that motorcycle straight through your heart and you wouldn’t care
okay maybe not your heart bc that would hurt (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )
but definitely through your bedroom
that would be
f i n e (⊙‿⊙✿)
……….
all your friends cover their ears and turn away when jeongin pulls up
there isn’t a rule against a senior having a motorcycle and riding it to school
there are people who drive cars to school and that’s fine
he has a license and always wears a helmet
and he wears a thick leather jacket and heavy, black boots
(you’ve seen those boots
they look like they could stomp through concrete or smth)
there is no way he wouldn’t be safe
well, besides the fact that he rides a motorcycle
but you, still not caring, just kinda stare as he rides into the parking area in front of the school
he always does this cool lil swing into his designated “motorcycles only” spot
and then takes off his helmet
to do that fucking hair shake that you always see in movies
that can only mean “hot guy on a motorcycle”
fucking hell
oh and he then runs his fingers through his black hair
to make it appropriately ~windswept~
and, yes, he looks way too god damn hot
unnecessarily so in your humble opinion (๑`^´๑)
you almost flip your shit every morning just bc of him
he’s handsome like a fucking movie star
angled cheekbones, a defined nose and chin, a jawline so sharp it could ki— it could seriously hurt you
and don’t even start on his eyes
jeongin’s eyes are so dark you often wonder if they’re actually brown
if he looks at you in the halls, you immediately get the sense he could somehow see into your soul
and, judging by the dark aura he has, probably can
jeongin isn’t particularly horrible or anything, but he’s known throughout the school to, honestly, not give a flying fuck
about anything
he’s….a little chaotic
for example, he flouts any rule he doesn’t like
and he talks back if a teacher says something he doesn’t agree with
(this has lead to some very heated discussions in class
although, you were actually inclined to agree with him most of the time, since he usually brings up some good points and such
(it’s generally a good idea, you’ve mused on a regular basis, to treat people like human beings and not like machines only in existence to produce goods and perform services to a select few)
most of your classes are with him
and he’s really smart
like the kind of smart where he barely does any work but still passes the class with an A
i mean, who said he could do that??!!?!
who allowed such sorcery
heCk
and you know he’s passed all his courses
he may or may not occasionally smoke or drink behind the school but you know for a fact there are people who do much worse and nobody says anything about them
maybe it’s the leather
and the moodiness
but um;;;;; that’s kinda hot, you know?
you’re not really sure why people think he’s the “bad boy”...
you’ve never seen or heard him be mean or rude to anyone, so how bad can he be?
okay okay yes you’ve seen the knife hilts poking out of his boots
but who the fuck cares?!! ( • ̀ω•́ ) 
it’s not like he’s ever pulled them on anyone
that you know of
.............
OH
and you’re pretty sure he knows you kinda watch him, too
bc one day he parked his bike facing the school instead of away
and you were just ~there~ as usual
but feeling very alone and exposed
since your dumbass friends had all decided to abandon you in your hour of need by walking away just before he rode up
and then, like a herd of sheep, they all turned to watch you as he did
ahahah friends? what are they?! nah don’t need them;;;
so there you were standing out on the pavement
very obviously looking at him
w e l p  Σ(☉‿☉✿)Σ(☉‿☉✿)Σ(☉‿☉✿)
but, of course, he just had to look up
and this lil shit winked at you
actually winked
EXCUSE ME YANG JEONGIN
W H A T
;;;;;;;;;;;;
your friends teased you all day
“ooooh look it’s lover boy”
“shut up shut up shut up”
“but he just lookeD AT YOU”
“you’re lying”
“Y/N YOU FOOL”
“HHHHHHHH”
and it only gets worse from there (....um, you sure about that y/n?)
now whenever jeongin arrives in the mornings
he makes a point at looking over at you
you don’t always notice, unfortunately
and he ends up with a sad lil smile on his face bc he knows you’re having fun with your friends
but fuck!!!!
you’re just so!!! cute!!!!!
how can he not notice you??!!!
especially when you’re in all of his classes
and obviously watch for his motorcycle every morning
it makes him feel kinda cool, tbh
he’s also noticed that you like strawberries
a  l o t (≧◡≦)
as in, your backpack is a strawberry
you have strawberry pins on said strawberry backpack
your raincoat has a pattern of strawberries on it
your pencil case may or may not be a lil cat eating, yes, a strawberry
SO
jeongin being the smooth guy (he thinks) he is
gets you a strawberry sweetbread
and is all excited to give it to you
so after class on friday, he decides today’s his chance
(also, the sweetbread isn’t gonna last forever alfdjghafkgj)
aaaand you both try to walk out the door at the same time
which doesn’t work
but WOW YOU’RE NOW REALLY CLOSE TO HIM
jeongin: *vibrates*
ACTUALLY TOUCHING SHOULDERS
WHAT
…..fuck (¬_¬;)
and since when do you smell really good, too?? alkjhsjfghajhf
jeongin’s just a little overwhelmed, you know?
ANyWaY;;;;;;
y/n, blushing furiously: “oh my god sorry”
jeongin, spluttering: “no, no after you”
((oh wow his voice dropped since the last time you saw him
how is that even possible??? guys….))
after a couple tries back and forth through the doorway
(your teacher’s trying not to laugh in the background)
you finally both make it out of the classroom
and you start to speed walk away since your friends are waiting so you all can hang out
“hey, y/n!” comes down the hall after you
ALSDJHADJFLHG what ;;
you turn around quickly to find jeongin standing right behind you
“um, so i noticed you really like strawberries”
e x c u s e  m e (O_O);;;
first of all:
yang jeongin—your school’s super hot bad boy, the guy you’re only a little obsessed with bc he rides a motorcycle, the inexplicably brilliant student, and total badass—just spoke to you
WHAT
((really, Y/N?? r e a l l y?????))
second of all:
he’s holding something wrapped in absolutely adorable cat (and strawberry) wrapping paper
that’s completely against his aesthetic
but matches yours to a tee ( ◡‿◡ ♡)
huh….
“y/n?” *holds out package*
you have to mentally shake yourself a little
but you’re back now
hhhHHHH
“me?”
“Yeah, I got you this. I hope you like it.” (●´ω`●)
“thanks?” you say a bit lamely
you take the package and get a whiff of sweetbread
s w e e t b r e a d!!!! (*♡∀♡)
ajfhakljfhgjdsfgh your fav
you’d half expected jeongin to blast on outta there asap
but now he’s just standing in front of you, just kinda shifting back and forth
wait…is he nervous??
you slowly unwrap the package, careful not to damage the wrapping paper
(you are so going to reuse it or hang it on the wall or something ajdsdjfg)
and inside is a rounded sweetbread with strawberries delicately placed on top amongst swirls of pink icing
you gasp quietly
fucking hell it’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen
jeongin’s just watching you, a small smiling spreading across his face
(which you don’t notice bc  b r e a d)
you take a small bite of the treat and
。*:゜♡ヽ(*’∀’*)/♡゜:。*。
IT’S SOOOOO GOOD!!!!
you take another bite before looking up at jeongin and you finally see his smile
( ◡‿◡ ♡) (♡‿♡) (*♡∀♡)
it’s actually the best thing you’ve ever seen
there’s so much genuine happiness, and just a hint of mischievous mirth, in his smile
you feel like you’re looking into the sun, it’s so bright
why did jeongin, of all people get you, of all people, a sweetbread?
jeongin, completely unable to look cool anymore and shifting back and forth on the balls of his feet: “is it good?”
“OH MY GOD YES!!!”
and then you do something you never thought you’d do
ever
in the whole world ever
you throw your arms around yang jeongin’s neck
and give him a really big hug
his arms come up and around you to hug you back almost immediately,
which you were expecting even less than your own actions
but his hug is wonderful, even if he’s holding you like fine china
in a moment, you remember yourself and quickly step back
jeongin is blushing so much that he looks like a strawberry
(so good you just wanna eat him up (◕‿◕))
((y/n pls,,,,, not here....))
and you know you’re blushing just as much
you splutter an apology and run off down the hallway
and because you’re running off,
you don’t notice that jeongin is staring after
like a lovesick puppy (◕︵◕)
your friends are all over you about the sweetbread
bc they love it too
but you just say that you forgot you’d brought it with you that day
for some reason, you didn’t want to tell about your encounter with jeongin
when you get home, you savor the sweetbread,
remembering the warmth of jeongin’s smile~
the next friday, you’re outside at the picnic tables during lunch
it’s an absolutely beautiful day, with a light breeze~ (⌒ω⌒)
against the better judgement and fervent suggestions of your friends
you decide that it’s a great idea to get on top of one the tables
and dance
why?
someone had started playing ABBA’s “Dancing Queen”
no one can resist that song
so you’re having the time of your life
just dancing around on the table that your friends have since vacated bc they
a) don’t want to get kicked in the head, and
b) feel quite embarrassed to associate with you while you’re like this
......traitors (๑`^´๑)
and as anyone with an ounce of sense does when dancing to ABBA
you occasionally close your eyes in happiness
and suddenly you’ve stepped into air
your heart lurches and your eyes fly open 
and your mind goes completely blank with panic
but you never reach the ground
you’re now surrounded by the smell of leather, metal, and.....
boy
someone had saved you from falling
the arms holding you are strong and well-muscled
and, surprisingly, comfortable
“i’ve got you,” a voice murmurs
you look up into the face of none other than jeongin
(⊙__⊙✿) 
welp
you think to yourself “what... i thought he didn’t care about people??”
((nope y/n, he cares about YOU bc you’re the cutest and so lovely))
he smirks down at you, then sets you back down on the ground
“try to be more careful. okay, y/n?” he says, smoothing a wayward piece of your hair, then just walks off
you blush
(this seems to be becoming a common occurrence with jeongin)
and just stand there, dumbfounded
as jeongin saunters away to sit under a tree at the far end of the lawn
it’s a good saunter, and the tight, black skinny jeans only help (⊙ __ ⊙);;;;
your friends rush you, asking if you’re okay and asking what was up with jeongin
you say that you have no idea
......although, that’s not entirely true
since you now have a sneaking suspicion that *gasp* jeongin might have a crush on you?
maybe??
(hopefully!! (゚▽゚`*)?) 
your friends just continue dithering as you stare at jeongin, who’s watching you right back
he winks
ALKJSDHGAKLDJFGADJKFGBADJF
you really wish he’d stop doing that bc it’s making your heart pound like a herd of horses and now yOu CAn’t EveN THinK
FUCK!!
later that day as school’s letting out
jeongin comes up to you, leather jacket slung over his shoulder
he’s got on a black t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up a couple times
and ooooooh my
you’d never noticed before
(well, besides during lunch when he caught you)
but yang jeongin has really nice arms
and pecs (⊙‿⊙)  
and now you’re staring (oh fuck,,,,, not again)
“uh;;;; hi, jeongin!” you manage to squeak out alkdjfhsldjf
“hey, i was wondering if you wanted a ride”
eXCusE Me wHAt??? ∑(゚ロ゚〃)
“on the motorcycle. i have an extra helmet, since my sister sometimes rides with me”
O H 
your mouth takes control before you even have time to think
“sure! i’d love to!!”
a minute later, you’re standing in front of that sleek, black motorcycle that you’ve admired for months
the young man riding it helps the matter quite a lot, too
there’s even this little carrier container on the back of the bike that he puts his (small) backpack into
he reaches out for yours and stows it
then, jeongin hands you a helmet with lime green racing stripes on its sides
you briefly wonder if his sister is anything like him
probably
“have you ever ridden a motorcycle before?” jeongin asks
you shake your head, unable to speak bc you’re so excited and also kinda nervous
your mom’s words fly through your head
don’t you dare get on a motorcycle, y/n. ever. don’t you dare! they’re too dangerous by half and— well, if i ever find out you’ve been on one, you won’t be allowed out of the house, except for going to school, for a month. you mark my words, y/n! (; ・`д・´)
you promptly ignore her voice in your head and slid the helmet down over your head
the world suddenly becomes slightly more vibrantly colored as the visor shields your eyes
jeongin had swung his long legs over the bike, straddling it with his feet still on the ground
“so, the important thing is to stay in line with me. what i mean is that if i lean to one side or the other, you’ve gotta lean with me. otherwise, we’ll fall over and that really wouldn’t be good. just hold on tight to my waist and, sorry i don’t mean to sound rude, but please don’t scream.”
jeongin looks only a little rueful as he says that
but you don’t blame him
you wouldn’t want someone screaming in your ears as you tried to concentrate either
“okay, right. lean with you. hold on tight,” you say
jeongin sits down, one foot still on the ground, and pats the seat behind him
“come on! take a seat—i promise you’ll be fine, y/n”
tentatively, you clamber onto the motorcycle behind jeongin
and wrap your arms around his waist
you can feel . . .
holy shit his abs feel like a fucking washboard
ExCuSE mE?????!!!! (@_@)
heCk
((y/n, pls. calm down;;; we know he’s got muscles))
so um,,,, yeah
it’s really actually quite comfy to lean against his back
but then hen he lays his hands over yours
and looking back over his shoulder says, “ready, babe?
B A B E
HHHHHHHHHHHH
***y/n has officially malfunctioned***
damn tho
this boy is bold as fuck
wow
you’re not exactly complaining
bc you now know that you like being called “babe”
it makes you feel special (✿◠‿◠)
and you like how it sounds coming from jeongin
you can tell jeongin is grinning under his helmet
“yep, i’m ready,” you manage to say
and then you feel and hear the thunder of the engine igniting
it’s exhilarating and you hadn’t even started moving yet
jeongin yells over the engine “hold on!”
in one smooth motion he kicks the kickstand up, brought his foot off the ground, released the brake and clutch
and then...
and then you feel like you’re flying
even though you’re not going 70 mph (113 kph)
the wind tears at your clothes
making you feel freer than you’d ever felt before~
you thought you’d guessed what it would feel like to ride on a motorcycle
but even your wildest imaginings couldn’t come close to reality
you hold on tightly to jeongin’s waist, feeling every shift of his body as he guides the motorcycle along the roads surrounding your school
all too soon you find yourself back in the parking lot of your high school
you don’t release your hold on jeongin until after he’s shut off the engine
jeongin takes off his helmet, shaking his hair as usual, and hangs it on a handlebar
then he turns on the seat
you lean back
but jeongin reaches out and gently removes your helmet to place it on the seat between the two of you
even without touching it, you could feel that your hair was mussed
so you shake out your hair, too
and immediately understand why jeongin does it
you feel strangely powerful and a bit sexy
it’s a fun, new feeling
jeongin smiles like you’re the loveliest flower he’s ever seen
and, for the second time that day, tucks a strand of hair behind your ear
“how was it?” he asks, a look of concern on his face
you beam, feeling infinitely more at ease around jeongin
“amaaaaazing!”
“yeah? oh, don’t cry, y/n”
“what? oh” you realize that you are, indeed, crying
you wipe the tears from your face
after all, they’re just tears of happiness
“jeongin, it was incredible, oh my god. can we do it again? please?”
he laughs, throwing his head back 
and you glimpse the dimple at the base of his throat
“maybe another day, babe” jeongin concedes
you pout
“oh, okay. thank you”
there’s a look in jeongin’s eyes that you can’t quite place
is it sadness? fondness? desire?
he exhales, then the corner of his mouth quirks up
you feel the warmth of his fingers caress your cheek
“y/n, may i kiss you?”
***yet again, we regret to inform you that y/n has malfunctioned***
what the ever loving flipping fuck
d— did jeongin just,,,,
did he?
ALKJHGALKJFHG;AKLHFGAKLJGHKAJH
“i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable” jeongin says in a rush, dropping his hand
shit.
SHIT!
“no no no!! it’s fine, yes. please. that’s fine. that would be— that would nice. yes, very nice.”
wow you sounded almost hysterical
“good,” jeongin says simply
and leans in to softly press his lips to yours
you immediately kiss him back
and feel him smile against your mouth
just a moment later, he draws back, respectful, a question in his eyes
you chase his lips, not wanting to waste the precious opportunity to actually be kissing the yang jeongin!!
his hands come up to cup your neck
and you rest your palm against his chest, feeling the trembling beat of his heart
he tastes like like elderberry and cinnamon and clove all wrapped into one intoxicating milieu 
you could kiss him for days and never tire
after what seems like hours, you break apart
“y/n,” jeongin begins
“oh just shut up and keep kissing me,” you say without hesitation, surprised at your own boldness (again)
it seemed that was becoming a habit around jeongin, too
he doesn’t bother responding
and, instead, kisses you until you’re breathless
again, you feel like you were flying
* . ∗ ̥ ⋆ ݃ *♡٩( 。⌒▽⌒。)۶♡* ݃ ⋆ ̥∗ . *
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minruko · 3 years ago
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(Hi! I'd like a match up from one piece, bnha and black clover! If I can't choose more then 1 tell me please! Also I apologize if I don't make any sense! my English isn't always the best)
ok first Im autistic and I have ADHD Im sensitive I have trouble with focusing and staying still I talk to myself a lot and in my mind I just live in a different world! I Get loud and interrupt others a lot without realizing it but I always apologize and feel bad Sometimes when I hear anything loud or smell something strong (can be normal sounds/smells to others) it irritates me a lot so I cover my nose/ears when that happens ☹️ also I get shy and quiet around new people or to people I'm not close to and when I sit down I move my leg/hands and figit lot and stand around just daydreaming unaware of my surroundings
pros
understanding/kind/energetic/creative/confident/ambitious/positive/forgiving/funny/intelligent/curious/protective/nerdy/thoughtful/imaginative/empathetic/friendly/spiritual
cons
Hyper sensitive/rushes a lot/hyper excited/lazy/ I don't always appreciate my self/I over explain a lot/impatient/challenging/blunt/mercilessly when loved ones are hurt/lose things easily/I forget dates and to take my medication/can be manipulative
Features: almond shaped dark brown eyes/black short curly hair/thick bushy brows/middle eastern Arab/short/curvy/big titties/hip dips/ beauty mark on my cheek and hands/high cheek bones/scars on stomach and thighs/small slit on my right eyebrow/strech marks on my shoulders and hips/sharp fangs/nose n ear piercings/I always change my fashion so I'm a mix of hippie/princess/nerd/witch/fairy/punk/goth/diva/baddie/alt
Pronouns: she/her gender preference: men
Zodiac: cancer I'm 21 so nobody under 19 pls!
Hobbies: drawing/painting/designing/writing/reading/shopping/watching animation/daydream/sleeping/Playing video games/yoga/meditations
likes: animals/art of any kind/fashion/science/history/fantasy/gemstones/coffee/fiction/marvel or DC/anime/cartoons/nature/moon/tarot cards/magic/aesthetics
Dislikes: anyone who's racist/sexist and more will get jumped by me oh and pickles
and I choose water
Pls let me know if there's something wrong and take your time! let me know when you get my request thanks!
match up below the cut! thanks for participating!!
i’ll do all of the fandoms bc i never really listed to pick only one, sorry for the inconvenience!!
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彡ONE PIECE-
i match you with luffy! he loves your curiosity more than anything! when the crew docks on a new island you’re the first person he takes with him, keeping the noise and scent irritation in mind he places his hat on your head when he sees it’s about to happen and flashes you a wide grin telling you that it’s gonna be fine. he loves merciless you can be too he thinks it’s cool how this switch flips in your mind and you start kicking ass!
“hey let’s go on another adventure! nami says that there’s an island ahead let’s explore it together and don’t worry i’ll keep you safe!”
彡BLACK CLOVER-
i match you with yami! he’s well used to your random out bursts and even encourages them at the hide out say “hey my girlfriends got spunk!” when you say a random thought that’s on your mind. he teases you for not liking pickles eats them around you purposely as a joke so his kisses taste like pickles! he stopped after a day or two though he started to miss your kisses big time. he also enjoys taking naps with you after a long day snuggling with you in his bed is his favorite place to be.
“okay okay i’m sorry no more pickles i promise cross my heart and hope to die.”
彡MHA-
i match you with fatgum! he loves curvy women and loves your hip dips, even more, he says they’re special slots where he can place his hands. he is there to listen to any random thought you have even your outbursts which he find’s adorable. the two of you are the sweetest couple the hero world has ever seen. if he ever catches you saying something bad about yourself he just hits you with a compliment along with a soft kiss, there will be no lack of self-appreciation on his watch!
“wow honey that’s an interesting thought you have there, hey what was the thing you were talking about the other day something about comics?”
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poetrusicperry · 4 years ago
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heard you wanted writing inspiration and it just so happens i am deep into special interest territory with dps! so hi, i'm cas, might i be shipped with / have some relationship hcs for a dead poet?
i'm nonbinary, prefer to be seen as/referred to in masculine terms, fluffy dark brown hair, green eyes, very short for a guy.
i'm hesitant to starting relationships due to Previous Issues, but if someone and i were already good friends and they confessed, i'd like that
when i love something i love it deeply, so deeply it can be painful (read- dps). i'm fascinated with small details and little facts about the things or people i'm interested in. i love horror and action movies, have specific playlists for every setting and mood (but listen to every kind of music!), and i'm studying to be a storyboard artist!
also i love your work pls dont let writers block kick you down :,)
ok- first of all, about your strike-through part, THANK YOU <3 that means the absolute world to me, i can't even begin to explain.
i hope you like this (: i felt like it went on a bit long toward the end, but i just had so much i wanted to say hehe. and i think it's super cool you're studying to be a storyboard artist !! it's unique and interesting. good luck with it !! <3
ship:
you and charlie would be the best thing to ever happen in the entire world tbfh (‘:
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relationship hcs:
charlie would most definitely enjoy that you’re short because he’s definitely not the tallest guy around school, so he could feel tall around you hehe
you would really like charlie (for a super long time), but would never say anything because you didn’t want to complicate your friendship
you’d make a playlist with songs that remind you of him, but little did you know, he had done the same for you (because he had picked up on your habit of making playlists)
he had picked up on your playlist-making because he was utterly head over heels for you and would want to pick up on every detail he could so he could, hopefully, impress you
when letting your feelings for charlie get the best of you, you’d sort of close yourself off from him, internalizing all you felt and beating yourself up about feeling so strongly for someone you assume only saw you as a friend
charlie did not like being avoided by you one bit, so one day he’d finally wait outside your last class of the day and confront you about it, which caught you a little bit off guard. he followed you back to your dorm (he could be very persistent lol) begging to know what he’d done wrong for his favorite person to be giving him the cold shoulder.
to which you would ultimately spill everything in your brain about your feelings, how you didn’t want to be with anyone unless you had established a good friendship first, how you felt every time he walked in the room, and how you felt physically sick from holding all of this in for so long, etc.
he would take this in stride and assure you he felt the same, and would like to establish that bond with you in the hopes of asking you on a date at some point (‘:
charlie would be hesitant to watch scary movies with you, only because he was kind of scared (would never ever admit that in a million years, but you picked up on it because you notice everything), but would still tough it out so he could spend time with you.
you would just like to hang around charlie and see how he reacted to the world around him, amd you were so perceptive that simply listening to/watching him allowed you to understand him as a person and know him inside and out (probably better than he knew himself, honestly)
you’d give him little gifts of things that made you think of him, and he’d proudly have all the little knick-knacks on his half of the windowsill in the order you gave them to him in (his favorite thing you’d ever gotten him, however, was a little silver saxophone keychain that he immediately hung on his dorm key)
he’d 100% ask you to write a little storyboard/comic about him and would absolutely love it (he might even ask you to do it multiple times)
once you guys started to go out, i feel like charlie’d be really clingy and like to give you forehead kisses bc you’re just the right height (‘:
you'd keep a handwritten list of little details about charlie that he'd stumble upon by accident, but never tell you. he fell way harder for you after that.
he’d constantly check in with you to see how things were (if your guys’ relationship was moving at an ok pace for you), and established such an open form of communication between the two of you that you barely ever squabbled. you two were so open, things never built up.
he’d always ask about nicknames/pet names before beginning to call you any just so you would be comfortable, or he could come up with a new one if you didn’t feel comfortable with it.
you'd definitely bring out a much softer side of charlie, which is crazy bc he has so much chaotic energy that it's hard to think of him in a softer/calmer setting, but you just do it to him (:
overall, charlie would just do everything in his power to make sure that you trusted him and that he could be there for you in any way, shape, or form (and he also adores the color of your eyes) (:
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