#as a qpoc more of us should love noso

[im-not-a-college-dropout]

Nov 19

um so yeah i skipped a couple of days

nov 18: nothing much happened-- i did get chased by my neighbors dogs while walking mine so there is that, but it was s slow day because i was drained from the day before. i took a nap though, which does aid my minimal sleep situation

nov 17: i went to the concert, was absolutely shellshocked while meeting the artist, got a photo w them, felt more transed after the concert and was like no more boobs i work so hard to ungender myself but i keep getting seen as so gender and they are an artist that writes about that so screaming and i couldn't talk to them bc i was anxious

today: spent time with my younger cousins doing their hair. my aunt knows i don't like kids but i know that she needs a break so she's paying me for my time (thx bestie). kids are a lot and i didn't sleep well, so i didn't have the energy to be very fun with them.

now i am talking briefly to my friend and feeling shitty bc i know my toxic habit is i self isolate then feel bad when people are able to live without me then i get very depressed which is a pattern that i recognize and have to work to get out of.

i'm not sure if i will see family tomorrow or see my friend, but we will see once these kids go to sleep and i am able to get some actual rest.

i am proud of myself though because i did eat three meals today and drank water. i realize how often i forget to drink things? really good at functioning as a person. i made soup and it is keeping my insides warm.