#as a person who gets too overwhelmed with real world relationships

[triptychgrip]

Yuuri’s love of Viktor’s extraness

Something that I've seen a lot of in Yuri!!! on Ice post-canon fanfic is a tendency to write Yuuri exhibiting a certain amount of chagrin around Viktor's extra-ness.

Perhaps I've misinterpreted intent and simplified instances that in actuality were meant to convey something completely different, but at times, I've noted this implicit (or explicit) weariness attributed to Yuuri when it comes to his reactions to Viktor's behavior.

Specifically, his excitability and charisma.

To reiterate: I'm talking about post-canon content, meaning that Yuuri and Viktor have already bridged that initial gap between them and are in a committed relationship. I say this b/c a certain amound of overwhelm/wariness in response to larger-than-life Viktor is very understandable in the beginning, when Yuuri is not only struggling to understand why the hell his idol has come to Hasetsu, but is also realizing that the public persona that Viktor exudes doesn't match up with the flesh-and-blood being that is the real him.

This "God, why in the hell am I engaged to an excitable child?!" characterization of Yuuri confuses me, because one of the most endearing parts of the show is the fact that Yuuri is capable of 1) being just as extra as Viktor (but in different ways) and/or 2) matching Viktor's extra-ness in the way of the whole "meeting him where he is" theme.

I think there are plenty of examples of #1 (that quad flip at the Cup of China!!), and the Chihoko incident is a perfect encapsulation of number 2. With the latter, note that Yuuri doesn't minimize Viktor's insecurities by being all "you're being ridiculous, Viktor, why is THIS your way of trying to get my attention?"; instead, he tells Viktor that he could search the entire world and still find no one better. Oh, and then at Viktor's request, he strips down and joins him on the top of Hasetsu Castle.

Writing him as only being tolerant of Viktor's extra-ness (rather than celebrating it) also confuses me because as they get to know one another, I would imagine that Yuuri is able to see more clearly than most how Viktor was at a breaking point before coming to Hasetsu. You don't get to be a 5-time World Champion without being somewhat of a workaholic with extreme discipline, and there is more than enough evidence to support the idea that prior to coming to Hasetsu, Viktor hadn't really allowed himself to let loose, have fun, and do something entirely for just himself in a very long time (aside from that Sochi banquet night, of course).

So then, after coming to understand just how much Viktor might have been suppressing his true nature prior to their coming into each other' lives, why would Yuuri make Viktor feel bad about this intrinsic part of his personality? I've always gotten the impression that Yuuri would adore Viktor's innature curiosity and excitability, especially when he comes to realize that Viktor is keeping true to his episode 4 request to just be himself.

I might make a part 2 to this post, because there are honestly a lot of Viktor headcanons floating around in my head, particularly with respect to the fact that he seems like a man who has been told his entire life that he is "too much". Thus, to perceive this same attitude from the love of his life (again, maybe not explicitly, but implicitly) would probably tear him up inside.

I actually explicitly addressed this in Chapter 7 of my post-canon Olympic Games series, by way of a BuzzFeed "Couples' Quiz" appearance that the Katsuki-Nikiforovs make. Their last question to one another asks them to list the things they think their partner loves about them the most, and frankly, it was healing for me to be able to write Viktor answering that he thinks his husband loves his charisma/excitability 😭🥹

[dutybcrne]

Kaeya deffo loves possessive partners, send tweet-

[spirit-lanterns]

HOT MILFS IN YOUR AREA!

synopsis: matching up with an older woman online.

featuring: jade, yukong, natasha, himeko, cocolia

rating: 18+ smut (men and minors dni)

warnings: sub! afab fem reader, dom characters, age gap relationship (reader is in her early 20s), strap ons, pet names, yukong has a di.ck, ora.l (both reader and character receiving), fing.ering, sci.ssoring, lap s.ex, semi-public se.x, mentions of bd.sm (jade), mentions of body hair (natasha), mentions of breeding, unprotected se.x, might be ooc.

art credits: lily of the valley

JADE

Jade couldn’t stop herself from groaning as her eyes settled on the way you sunk down on her crystallized, pink strap. It had been months since she had the pleasure of having a woman as young as you stay with her for the night, so Jade decided it would be in her best interest to go all the way this time. Scented candles, the most luxurious of sex toys, lingerie, and of course; bars of solid gold littered Jade’s bedroom the moment you arrived. Jade was just excited to have a young woman like you indulge in her dirty pleasures for the night, and she was intent on making you stay with her for as long as possible. 

“Good girl…lower…” Jade ushered, licking some saliva off her lips as she watched the crystal strap push through your walls and nestle deeper into your warmth. The cute gasps and whimpers that left your lips were enough to make Jade want to break you to her will, but she resisted. As sadistic as Jade could be, she wanted to ease you slowly into her sex life before getting to the really heavy stuff. 

“Oh…look at you…” she purred, admiring the way you sat down at the hilt and took all of her cock like a good little sub. “I’m impressed, not many girls your age can take a strap like this in under half an hour.” She ran a manicured hand through your hair and leaned in to plant a gentle kiss to your forehead, an imprint of her lipstick left visible on your skin as proof of her “ownership” over you. 

After watching you get used to the overwhelming girth and length of her strap, Jade hummed and gently patted your rear with her other hand to signal you to start. “Seems like you’ve adjusted just fine, sweet girl. Give me a bounce.” 

Obeying her orders, you grabbed onto her shoulders and began shifting your hips up and down, testing the waters of how much you could take while your walls squeezed and gripped onto Jade’s cock with fervor. Though Jade couldn’t feel anything, just the sight of you breathlessly whining and looking dumbfounded at the giant strap piercing you, was enough to get Jade gushing through her harness…

“Fuck…” Jade mumbled, biting her lip and looking quite amused at you struggling to ride her properly. “Your movements are so sloppy…it’s adorable.” 

Letting you struggle a bit more with the pace, Jade finally decided to help you by placing her hands on your hips and setting a decent pace for you. It wasn’t fast by any means, but for a young, naive person like you who hardly had any experience, it felt like you were riding a bull. 

As the fat cockhead of Jade’s strap hit you repeatedly from the inside, she chuckled and leaned back against the headboard to examine all your expressions. Were younger women always this expressive? Jade wasn’t too sure, yet she didn’t mind at all. You were too cute. 

“You’re a natural.” Was all Jade said before leaning in to give you a big, tongue-filled kiss, still helping you ride her cock as she gripped her nails into your flesh. “In no time you’ll be taking some of my other toys that aren’t so…vanilla.”  At that sentence, she smirked and cast her gaze over at her bedroom closet, a hidden place where she kept the raunchiest of sex toys only for her special girls…

YUKONG

Too busy to find a love life in the real world, Yukong settled for trying a dating app instead. A recommendation from Tingyun herself, Yukong managed to match with a young and spry woman such as yourself, and the two of you quickly hit it off over text. Yukong didn’t expect someone as young as you to take interest in someone as old as her, but apparently her age didn’t matter to you. If anything, it only made her more attractive in your eyes… 

A bit shocked by this reveal, Yukong was quick to arrange a date for you two at a bar on the Luofu. A few drinks and some lingering touches later, and Yukong had you bent over in a dark alleyway and taking her dick like it was nothing while receiving dark hickies all over the back of your neck. 

“F-Fuck…” Yukong grumbled, not one to swear as she struggled with keeping up the pace to satisfy you. It had been ages since she last fucked a woman like this, let alone a young one, and she wanted to make sure she left a lasting impression on you for you to continue seeing her. “You’re so tight…” 

Her voice rasped in a gravelly way as she slammed her hips even further against your ass. The soft, breathy whines that left your throat were driving Yukong insane, the cute way your eyes rolled back in pleasure and the way some drool dribbled down your lips… Dammit, Yukong felt her cock stir with need inside your cunt, tip twitching at your erotic expressions as she wanted nothing more than to fill you up with her essence. 

‘No…that’s irresponsible.’ Yukong’s thoughts reminded her, ‘It’s already risky to fuck her without a condom. You can breed her another time.’

A groan left Yukong’s lips as she fucked her hips even faster, pistoning herself like a machine as she forced herself to pound you as fast as she could go. Her age was definitely catching up to her as this was not her prime rhythm, however you seemed to be enjoying yourself quite a bit, judging by the way you bucked back against her thrusts and squeezed around her shaft so needily. 

“I…I’m close…” Yukong couldn’t help but moan, grabbing onto your hips and shoving her member deeper into your warmth, “Dear…you’re too tight. I need to hah…pull out…”

She was getting impatient, the need to release building up in her core as she tried to pull free from your pussy. She forgot how tight a young, inexperienced woman like you could be, and she was having some difficulty fighting the urge to just stay in. 

“Dear…please…” she gasped and began rubbing at your clit to hopefully ease up your folds and let her go. The second you released and allowed yourself to stop clinging onto her dick, Yukong whimpered and immediately slid out right before she could cum, her cock sliding out quickly and spurting out hot jets of cum onto your back. 

“Ah…” Yukong panted and looked down at your cum-stained body in a daze, your own cum dripping down your thighs and causing quite a mess on the alleyway floor. “What a mess…looks like we both could use a warm shower after this, hm?”

Though exhausted, Yukong pulled you up from your position for a hug, clinging to you from behind and kissing your cheek affectionately. 

“Let’s go back to my place…”

NATASHA

Overworked and stressed, Natasha needed to find an outlet. As the only doctor in the Underworld’s city, it was difficult for Natasha to find some sort of relief to the constant headache and wear that occurred to her whenever she had to deal with patients. Relationships were something that had never crossed her mind, however sex was something that was starting to seep into her thoughts every night after a long shift… 

Oh how nice it would be to be doted on and tenderly touched by someone who just wanted to please her. How sweet it would be to have a pretty woman on her knees and pleasure her with nothing but pure devotion in her eyes… And that’s how Natasha found you, scrolling aimlessly through some dumb dating app before deciding that you would be a profile to swipe right on.

You were young, but goodness were you eager and ready to please. One invite to Natasha’s home later, and you were already on your knees in front of her, her dress hitched up her thighs while you lapped eagerly at her unshaven pussy. Natasha thought you would mind the bush, but you dived in like it was your last meal, clearly showing off how eager your tongue was for her sweetness, causing Natasha to blush. 

“I-I had no idea…mmpf…that young adults weren’t so picky when it came to body hair…” Natasha bit her lip as her legs wobbled a bit, clearly surprised at your relentless onslaught, “Most women your age prefer it shaved or waxed…ah!”

She tilted her head back and closed her eyes, thighs nearly clamping down on your head when the tip of your tongue pushed up against a particularly sensitive spot. “Oh…sweetie…” 

Natasha hadn’t felt this good in years, carding her fingers through your scalp and trying to push you further into her slick. “You’re doing so good…such a good job…” 

She enjoyed praising you, watching as your eyes went half-lidded in pleasure and moans left your lips as a “thank you.” The vibrations would send waves of pleasure through Natasha’s core, and she could feel herself getting closer to her climax the more you wiggled your tongue into her folds. 

“Just a bit more, my dear…” Natasha sighed, shoulders slouching as she felt the buildup begin to coil in her stomach. “Right…there…” 

She gasped softly and released drips of cum down your face, the soft tang quite pleasant to your tongue as you lapped up any remaining juices slipping by. As Natasha calmed down from her long-awaited high, she smiled sheepishly and gently patted your hair, bringing you up from your knees and greeting you with a kiss.

“You did so good…,” Natasha praised, slowly bringing you to her bed, “I have a few old toys in my closet that don’t really satisfy little old me, so why don’t we try them on you instead, hm?” 

She smiled wider when you instantly agreed. Oh how she loved the eagerness of youth!

HIMEKO

Himeko smiled and watched as you wormed pathetically on her bed, flinching and squirming as she eased a second finger into your tight and tense hole. Though Himeko rarely slept around, she decided that it had been a while since she’s been with another person so intimately, so she decided to match up with you for a quick hookup at the Astral Express…

However, Himeko didn’t expect you to be this cute when taking her fingers. She knew you’d be inexperienced as a young adult, but she didn’t think you’d be this inexperienced, practically whining and whimpering as she barely slid a second finger into you. It was almost amusing to see how much you struggled. 

“Relax, love. If you keep tensing up like this, you’ll get my glove stuck.” She chuckled and used her free hand to cup your face, making you look up at her despite your embarrassment. “Come on…relax those sweet lips for me…” 

She shushed you when you began to whimper and gently eased her second finger all the way in, taking note of how much hotter your insides got the deeper she went. It had Himeko feeling hot herself, her own core burning in a way that craved to be grinding against you when the time was right. 

But…Himeko could wait! You needed to be more wet after all, you could barely even take two fingers! “Alright…I’m gonna put a third one in, okay? You gotta relax for me, love…loosen up a bit…” 

Himeko hummed softly and leaned down to kiss your tear-stained cheeks, rubbing her ring finger against your entrance before gently prodding in. “Good girl…opening up so easily for me…” Himeko sighs, savoring the warmth of entering you with another finger, “So warm…”

She continues to finger you at a leisurely pace, savoring the feeling of a tight pussy wrapped around her fingers that wasn’t her own. Her breath hitched when she felt you begin to tighten even more, smiling and staring down at you with knowing eyes. 

“Are you about to cum, dearest?” Himeko asks teasingly, starting to finger you faster —or at least as fast as she could go without any resistance— “Go ahead, cum for me…make all the mess you need.” 

She shuddered when she felt an even hotter warmth overwhelm her gloved fingers, your hot release spilling past your thighs and dripping all over the towel Himeko had laid down for you on her bed. She smiled at the blissed, fucked out expression you wore on your face, and began to pull her hand out from your cunt.

Well…just her hand to be exact, as her glove stayed stuck inside your pussy with the walls latching tightly onto the cloth fingertip. The moment Himeko saw this, her eyes widened and a small giggle escaped her lips, amused at how tense you were to even do such a thing. 

“Oh, darling…even after being fingered, you’re still tighter than a screw.” She grabbed one of your hands and planted a small kiss on the back of it, assuring you that it was okay. “Don’t worry though, we can use some fun vibrators to loosen you up and maybe we can move onto some bigger stuff, yeah? Does that sound fun?” 

Himeko’s eyes were practically glittering as she moved off from on top of you to grab her box of toys from under the bed, eager to experiment with a sweet, naive girl like you.

COCOLIA

Though old and not as spry as she was in her youth, Cocolia still had a surprising amount of stamina when it came to pleasuring the woman she was infatuated with. Evident in the way she managed to hold your leg up over her shoulder and grind her slick entrance against your own, panting and huffing while still smirking down at you with a rather arrogant expression, it was as if she were silently saying “I told you so” when it came to showing you just how good in bed she could be.

“Enjoying yourself?” Cocolia grunts, chuckling airily and smacking her hips harder. “I may not be as strong as I was in my youth, but I’m still your Supreme Guardian, little one.” 

She continues her relentless onslaught on your pussy and scissors you with no signs of slowing down. The power trip she had over bending a young woman like you to her will was making Cocolia wet, enjoying the pitiful cries that escaped your lips, as a surge of dominance and lust overcame the power hungry Guardian. 

“Oh…the sounds that you make…” Cocolia groans and slides her folds more deeply over your own, your wetness mixing with each other as Cocolia struggled to keep her composure. “They're just utterly irresistible. I need to hear more…”

She paused from scissoring with you and moved away to calm down from the overwhelming sensations. Then, after a few brief moments, Cocolia returned, but this time leaned down with her mouth hovering over your pussy and licking a long stripe across your entrance. 

That definitely got a loud moan out of you, and Cocolia couldn’t help but smile at how adorably surprised you were when you arch your back in pleasure. She gripped onto the inner skin of your thighs and pushed them further apart for more access to your pussy, licking desperately at the wetness and smearing your slick all over her face. “Mmmpf…hold still, little one. I need a better taste…” 

She pushed her tongue deeper and seemed almost pussydrunk with the way she lapped languidly at your folds. Starved that she was, Cocolia didn’t let go of your cunt until you were sore and aching, whining for her to pull away as your poor pussy was all sensitive and puffy now… 

“Oh? Too sensitive?” Cocolia teased, letting go of your clit with a pop and pinching it gently to get a yelp out of you. “Young women are all so soft nowadays…” She held you up in her arms and made you sit on her lap, her gentle hands massaging your sore thighs while she kissed your cheek multiple times, getting lipstick all over you.

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure to toughen you up myself, little one…”

[dovesdreaming]

Domestic life

A morning spent with Deadpool involves corny jokes that are full of love

Warnings: none

-

You’d never imagined that your life would take such a wild turn. Growing up, you were the quiet one, the person who preferred books to people and silence to chaos. So how on earth you ended up in a relationship with Wade Wilson, Deadpool of all people, was still a mystery. But here you were, standing in your tiny kitchen, watching as Wade made a mess of what was supposed to be breakfast. Pancake batter was splattered on the walls, and he was wearing his signature red and black suit, minus the mask, with an apron that read Kiss the Cook. “Wade, you’re getting pancake mix everywhere” you said softly, trying to hide the smile that was tugging at your lips. “Babe, if I’m not making a mess, am I really cooking?” Wade quipped, flipping a pancake with a flourish. It sailed through the air and landed on the floor with a wet splat.

You bit back a laugh, shaking your head as you bent down to pick up the rogue pancake. “I think you’re supposed to use a pan, not the floor”. Wade grinned, not even slightly fazed by his culinary failure. “What can I say? I’m a rebel. Besides, we both know you like it when I get a little messy”.

Your cheeks flushed at his words, and you turned away, hoping he wouldn’t notice. But of course, he did.

“Oooh, there it is,” Wade teased, abandoning his pancake massacre to come over to you. He wrapped his arms around your waist from behind, pulling you close and resting his chin on your shoulder. “That adorable little blush. My favourite”. You squirmed in his grip, but there was no real effort behind it. As much as Wade could overwhelm you with his relentless energy and constant quips, you couldn’t deny how much you loved the way he made you feel. special, seen, loved.

“Wade,” you mumbled, feeling your face heat up even more as he nuzzled against your neck, planting playful kisses along your skin. “Wade what?” he murmured against your ear, his voice low and teasing. “Wade, you’re the most amazing boyfriend ever? Wade, I can’t believe how lucky I am to have you? Wade, your pancakes are terrible, but you’re still the love of my life?”. You laughed despite yourself, leaning into his embrace. “Maybe all of the above”. “Damn right”

he said with a grin, spinning you around to face him. His eyes softened as he looked at you, and for a moment, the chaos that was Wade Wilson faded into something much gentler. “You know I’m crazy about you, right?”. The sincerity in his voice caught you off guard, and you nodded, your shyness returning in full force. “Yeah… I know. I’m crazy about you too, even if you drive me insane”. Wade’s grin widened, and he pulled you in for a kiss, one that was surprisingly tender considering it was coming from him. You melted into it, feeling the warmth of his affection wrap around you like a blanket, shielding you from the outside world.

When he finally pulled back, he rested his forehead against yours, his breath mingling with yours. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I’m never letting you go, you hear me?”. Your heart swelled at his words, and you reached up to cup his face, your thumb brushing gently over the scarred skin. “I’m not going anywhere, Wade”. He smiled, a real, genuine smile that made your heart skip a beat. “Good. Because I don’t know what I’d do without my favorite shy little love muffin”. You couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculous nickname, shaking your head. “You’re impossible”. “But you love me,” Wade said, leaning in for another kiss, his lips brushing lightly against yours. “I do,” you whispered, your voice barely audible, but the words carrying all the weight of your feelings.

And as he kissed you again, you realized just how much Wade had changed your life. He brought chaos into your world, turned everything upside down, and yet… you wouldn’t have it any other way. Because despite the craziness, the mess, and the constant stream of quips, Wade made you feel like the most important person in the universe. And in the end, that was all that mattered.

[the-s1lly-corner]

AAAAA

TDAC X PUPPET!READER

Hear me out

Reader is like puppet from fnaf, their character being very similar to puppet, them having the same voice and powers? Yknow Puppet flies fast as HELL and etc, Reader most of the time stays in the music box, and just gets out when really wanted or needed, for example: when theres an IHA or when someone needs them for something.

TADC x puppet!reader !

ashamed to admit this but i have not touched fnaf outside of security breach, recently at least. the last time i was fully invested in the fnaf lore was when fnaf 4 had just dropped, so im quite literally relying off of your description like its a life line because i know how insane fnaf lore has gotten think imma answer this request then take another short break since my lower back is starting to get sore from sitting all day; gotta go stretch my legs too

CAINE:

you do have your own room, of course, but you tend to usually stay in your music box; of which you came with when you first entered the digital world... which was a little odd, but hey its not the strangest thing that anyone here has seen! i like to think that sometimes caine comes to your box at night and tries to will you out so he can get to know you more. leave it to the ai to fall for the mysterious circus member who rarely leaves their box... i think sometimes he would hum and sing along to the music your box makes

POMNI:

the first time you rush out of your music box it takes her off guard, almost making her fall off her feet when you dash right by her to do... whatever was required of you at that moment in time. if she were being honest, she didnt think you were a real person, she had always assumed that you were an npc; it wasnt unheard of that caine would have npcs stationed about for in house adventures, or to man the carnival..! though i dont think she would interact much with you, considering you rarely interact with the others; what use would it be to pester you?

JAX:

honestly before realizing you literally live and sleep and mostly exist in the music box, he probably puts stuff on top of your box... accidentally trapping you inside it. well, actually trapping wouldnt be accurate because you ended up brute forcing your way out, literally sending everything that was on top of the box flying; scaring just about everyone in the room. imagine trying to find out whos faster; you or jax.. i mean, have you seen how fast jax bolted when they found out koufmo abstracted?

RAGATHA:

always tries to ask you if you want to join in on the in house adventure, she doesnt want you to feel left out or unwelcome; even though most times you willingly back out of the activity. though, she feels relieved and even smiles when you spring out of your box to join in on the action... at least she knows you havent abstracted... brain stimulation is important, you know!

KINGER:

he finds some comfort in the music, slowly but surely as the days pass he moves his pillow fort closer and closer to your box before eventually hes right next to you. sometimes even naps, leaning against it. though he does immediately scamper off when you suddenly lunge out to race towards whoever is calling for you. at least he can count on you to have his back in moments of danger or fear!

ZOOBLE:

usually stays in their own lane, but for one reason or another they need help during an IHA, and their yelps and incoherent speech was enough to catch your attention. be it gloink or otherwise, you obliterate the problem; effectively haunting zooble for the rest of their life by your actions... but hey, it feels... nice, having someone you can rely on

GANGLE:

character who is soft spoken and shy meets character that rarely leaves their box when its not needed or necessary; how could a relationship, romantic or otherwise, be fostered in conditions such as this? oddly enough, the silence between you two brings you together, the music keeping the silence from becoming overwhelming. i like to think that sometimes gangle leaves you little notes, choosing to write rather than verbally speak... best not to ruin that special quiet the two of you have learned to share

[hopelessdelusional]

.・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

Ever since you were young, you always dreamed of having that special someone. Seeing couples everywhere you go, always giving your toys the most intense love stories. You were obsessed with having a soulmate, the person who got you, who could finish your sentences. 

When you got your first heartbreak, it shattered you, broke you. You were never the type of person to have people falling at your feet, so when someone did like you it was special. You thought that would solve all your problems, and for a while, it did. Until that relationship ended as well. Trying to find someone after your first breakup was hard, but you had to keep moving on. As you grew older, you dealt with a constant pain in relationships. Always being the person to feel the most no matter good or bad. You were empathetic, a curse and a blessing.

Never knowing what true love ever felt like, you trudged on in your journey for a real romantic relationship. Someone that made you shine, someone who made you feel good and at peace. 

Then, Katsuki Bakugou appeared. 

The clouds had parted, and suddenly you felt the warm rays of the sun soaking into your skin. Starting to eat healthy, go out into the world more, working harder; that was all because of Katsuki. He was there with you every second of the day, even if it was metaphoric. Your childhood perception of the perfect lover slowly transformed into reality. Katsuki was undeniably the perfect match for you, even on your darkest days could no one convince you otherwise.

So why were you running? Why did you deny the fact that you were in love with him for so long?

The two of you weren't friends, you were more than that. Yet, that feeing was denied over and over again, even to his face you denied the obvious. Hurt over and over again, too scared to go through the same pain you felt at your adolescence age. Such raw and intimate feelings would be able to be recreated, because it was Katsuki. Katsuki, the most stubborn and determined person you’ve ever met. He put his mind to have a future with you, it was apparent. After all the hurt his faith in you did not waver. The most perfect person for you, the person you'd been dreaming of.

And now, Katsuki was here, standing in front of you right now, holding flowers.

He was dressed nicely, just as he usually did when the two of you went out. Perks of being a model. Models get a lot of nice clothes and jewelry sent to them, and Katsuki used that to his advantage. His cologne overwhelmed your senses, not expecting such a familiar and comforting scent to throw you off so intensely. The worst part was his eyes, always his eyes. Blazing red orbs as intense as everything else about him.

What felt like another lifetime ago, you remembered the first introduction to him you felt as if those eyes were boring right through you. Now, those same eyes indulged in you, searching through every inch of your existence.

“I wanted to surprise you.”

His voice. It was always different with you. To others, it was curt and rough, always had such a strong and distinct tone. But with you, it was soft, almost shy. It was as if he was worried his natural inflection might be too brash for you. It was gentle, never failing to tug on your heart.

Everything about him was overwhelmingly perfect. Over time you had come to realize he was the missing puzzle piece that’s been missing for all these years.

Nevertheless you felt as if you couldn’t afford to let him in, to be selfish. Was that one step, worth the brick walls you’ve been building for so long worth any detrimental aftermaths? He was right there in front of you, despite everything. All the lies, secrets, and fights…he’s still here. Literally.

You stayed still, watching his every move. It wasn’t until his eyebrows burrowed that you softly smiled, reaching your hand out. Gently and hesitantly, he took your hand into his. Unexpectedly, it quickly took a turn when Katsuki pulled your body into his. All of your senses were completely and utterly engulfed in everything that was Katsuki.

Buried in his chest you could feel his heartbeat, running a lot faster than expected. You smiled, allowing yourself to become comfortable in his arms. Not that he was letting you go any time soon, his hands firmly on your waist and face resting on the top of your head.

“Missed you.”

The smile on your face stretched out, making you giggle. You felt giddy, your crush likes you back and he was holding you so tightly in his arms.

As much as you wanted to stay, you realized that you were hugging Katsuki in the hallway of your apartment floor and all of your friends were in the living room watching. (You didn’t have to look at them to know, you knew they were watching).

You pinched the blond making him yelp in surprise. Backing away you felt how wide your grin was and you were sure you looked lovesick but you just couldn’t help it. His eyebrows were furrowed in confusion but his eyes were still soft and kind. You cupped his cheek, making his blush spread from his ears to his cheeks.

“I’m guessing you have something else in mind for tonight then?”

There was a spark in his eyes, then a smirk formed on his perfect face.

“You know me too well.”

The two of you held contact for a moment, before you dropped your head and snickered. Looking back up you gently pried the flowers out of Katsuki’s hands, making his body relax. Turning around, you saw your friends all suddenly move and start talking to each other making you roll your eyes. You moved to the kitchen and put the flowers down so you could look for a glass to put it in.

“Hey Kacchan!”

The group all accepted Katsuki’s new presence, welcoming him into the small circle. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Katsuki ruffle Izuku’s hair making him yell out in protest. A comfortable conversation settled over the area as you filled a glass with your new flowers. You were starting to get nervous now that you were alone with your thoughts because being in Katsuki’s arms felt so right, but the two of you had a lot to talk out. There was so much to sort out, secrets to be explained and boundaries to be set. Did you believe that you are worth the work? Should Katsuki take the risk of loving you? He’s a model and you’re photographer you’re going to run into each other! Hitoshi and Kaminari are dating the two groups are going to combined, he’s Izuku’s best friend for crying out loud!

“Oi.”

A stern but comforting voice broke through your train of thought. The blond was standing with his hands on his hips, cocking his head at you. Of course he would notice that you started to get in your head, maybe you should try to make it less obvious next time.

“None of that idiot, we have plans.”

Switching moods quickly you moved over to Katsuki, wanting to leave the presence of your seven friends. However, Katsuki has always fit right into your apartment.

Seeing him in such a domestic setting has always made your heart feel an unexplainable infatuation. All you could imagine was the impossible, where Katsuki would wrap his arms around your waist and you would hold his warm, soft face. The more you looked at the man entering your kitchen the more you wished to reenact the night of the party that started it all.

“And what exactly do you have in mind Kat?”

You matched his energy; arms crossed, a single eyebrow raised, and leaning against the kitchen counter. That seemed to amuse him, because his eyes lit up and a smile formed on his face.

“You’ll see. Come on.”

Katsuki reached his hand out, and for the second time that night you felt frozen in place. You had to swallow your fear, because he was here despite everything. If Katsuki could risk everything about the relationship the two of you have formed, you could to. You kept reminding yourself that this first step was for him. It quickly became a chant, because you had to. You had to push yourself into the unknown.

So you take his hand, and you let him lead you out into the hallway with echoes of ‘goodbye’ and ‘good luck’ trailing behind you. You let him hold your hand all the way down the elevator and out of the apartment building until you made it to his car. You let him open the passenger door for you and you let him drive you to what you assumed was his home based off of the familiar route. You let him put on a playlist saved on his phone of all of your favorite songs, and you let him smile at you as you sang along with the music. When you got to his apartment, you let him open the door for you again and you let him find comfort in intertwining your hands together. You let him lead you all the way up to his apartment, and you let him make small annoyed comments about something wrong with his apartment complex or neighbors. He was only saying those things because he was nervous, tapping his fingers against your knuckles. And you let him.

When the elevator door finally opened you were smiling peacefully watching the blond squirm to get out of the small space. Katsuki looked your way and saw the small grin on your face, causing a deep shade of pink to form on the tips of his ears (hard to notice unless you're looking for it). Whipping his head away, he practically dragged you out of the elevator making you yelp out with surprise. Giggles from your mouth filled the hallway and you didn’t even have to see Katsuki’s face to know he was smiling wildly.

The door opened and closed in an instant, your body still being dragged around. It wasn’t until the two of you made it into the living space of his apartment that you were able to be face to face.

Once again you found yourself in complete awe of the man in front of you, and something told you that Katsuki thought the exact same way about you.

The warmth of his hand in yours must have become overwhelming because the blond started to pull his hand away. However, you didn’t want him to pull away, physically and mentally. You squeezed his hand into staying, and with a reassuring smile Katsuki stepped closer to you. You found his other hand to accompany your other hand as you stayed looking up at Katsuki. You knew his face and you knew what every expression he was making meant; he was nervous.

“Katsuki.”

It was barely above a whisper, your voice only meant to be heard for him. His expression morphed into concern which made you smile.

“I have to tell you something.”

Air felt heavy in your lungs as you waited to gain the confidence needed to say those three words. Every inch of you ached to tell him, to yell it off of the rooftops for everyone to hear. And yet your tongue sat heavy in your mouth.

Unexpectedly, those warm strong hands that rested in your hands quickly moved to sit on top of your hips. You searched Katsuki’s face to see what made him make such a gesture, and you were surprised to see such a soft expression on his sharp face. He was comforting you through his own nervousness. Knowing Katsuki, he was most likely worried about crossing any boundaries, along with his inexperience to any form of intimate affection. Nonetheless he was still giving you butterflies, and the newfound proximity wasn’t helping either.

Either you were imagining it or Katsuki was starting to stare intently at your lips. You licked your lips at the thought, and when you did Katsuki leaned his face closer.

Before you could fully grasp what was happening, Katsuki was pressing his lips firmly against yours. He wasn’t very skilled, so his movements were cautious and gentle. You were astonished such a driven and confident man could be so terrified of something as simple as a kiss.

Similarly you are just as terrified, but only of what happens after the kiss.

Katsuki was kissing you with the intent of having more, because he loves you, and he trusts you.

So you slipped your unoccupied hands into his hair, tilted your head and slowly began to find a rhythm in the movement in your lips. Surprised, Katsuki faltered for a moment before working his lips against yours. He was a quick learner, and from what you remembered of your first shared kiss he was doing much better comparatively.

The kiss started out slow, but just as Katsuki’s personality, passion and eagerness translated through your movements.

Katsuki gripped your body with more intention, drawing you impossibly close to where your bodies felt as if they were melting together. Your hands stayed where they were, and you took the moment to introduce your tongue which pleased Katsuki’s standards.

Instead of saying all that has been resting on your heart, Katsuki gave you the chance to show him instead. Through every moment of your shared kiss the two of you channeled months of unspoken words into each other’s bodies.

It wasn’t until you felt the emergent sensation of needing oxygen that you had to push Katsuki away. As if you didn’t already find the blond attractive, seeing him out of breath, wet lips, and a red coat of blush painting his face made him insufferably ravishing. He was equally out of breath, but clearly upset that your physical time together had been cut short. However, the wild grin that was placed on your face caused Katsuki’s form to relax.

“I love you.”

Voice raspy, you breathed the air out of your lungs as that long awaited phrase left your lips. Your eyes were stuck looking in the crimson eyes in front of you waiting, watching for him to convey some other emotion. Instead, his eyes stayed steady, and his hands grasped at your waist harder. It wasn’t until you let your hands drop down to his chest, pushing him away, that he reacted. His hands snatched yours in an instant, causing you to perk up and meet his fiery eyes.

“You mean it?”

Without hesitation you slipped your hands away and cupped his face. Katsuki’s face instantly lit up in a beautiful blush and you forced him to look at you to make sure he sees the determination in his eyes.

“Always have. I really do love you Katsuki. And I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner.”

A moment passed like that, hands holding his face until his now free hands pulled your body closer making you adjust to the new position. Tracing your hands on his tricep you watched as Katsuki observe you just as you did with him a moment ago. Then, you saw the blond realize that you were telling the truth, and to your surprise Katsuki smirked.

“Good, ‘cause I fucking love you too y/n.”

Before you could answer, he kissed you. He kissed you softer, but still full of compassion and adoration. Engulfing any anxiety of what lies ahead. Katsuki kissed you, and you let him.

Throughout life, Katsuki continued to love you, and you continued to love him. Fulfilling each other’s needs beyond any way you thought was possible. The love that you’ve been longing for all these years was in your reach, and for once in your life you reciprocated every ounce of love back without worry. You were no longer scared, and no longer felt the need to run. Katsuki was there to receive and give. You were finally whole.

After all these years, you watched all of your wildest dreams come true.

.・。.・✭・.✫・゜・。.

wildest dreams

aaaaand that's a wrap! but don't worry folks...

if you haven't alr noticed i've added extra content to first couple episodes, because I didn't feel like there was enough smau in the...smau so please go back and check that out it would mean a lot to me <3

now that the series is a wrap, PLEEEEAASSSSEEE send me prompts for either written stuff OR smau

i will be doing an account master list on there i will list all the fandoms i write for <3

big thank you to @kovu-bunnbunn for letting me use one of your lovely characters, i adore them 🫶

fun facts! ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

- no matter what you have gone through you will come to have the life of your wildest dreams. you will be loved and appreciated so much and you will feel at peace with who you are and the people around you. you are worthy of love, and you are an astonishing person.

← Prev┊˚✧ ┊Done

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ updates are no longer needed bc the series is done! thank you all so much for supporting me. Happy last wildest wednesday ✧.*

·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ TAGLIST: @lovelytayy @0anodite0 @bakugouswh0r3 @amethyst123 @nijirosz @dabis-vigilnate-girl @allnamesredacted @ch3rryhaze @ectoplasmictoast @cathwritestragediesnotsins @tati-the-fangirl @autumnfay @call-me-prodigy @chuugarettes @sammyam @bubblewordsofsodapop @biggestbeequeen @tqnk @el-hart  @i-simp-for-mha-men @kovu-bunnbunn

[permanentswaps]

Fun During The Swap Flu - Post Pandemic

Two Years Later:

It’s been two years since the swap flu outbreak, and the world has mostly gone back to normal. There's a vaccine now, and swaps are rare and usually short-lived. The swap-back rate is now at about 99.97%, which the experts say is good enough.

I’d have to agree – but not for the reason most people do. As you might have guessed, I’m part of that (in my opinion very lucky) 0.03%.

If we're being honest, I pop a boner everytime I think about it.

My brother Roger has taken it hard. He’s protested nonstop, dragging us to doctor after doctor. “It’s just not fair,” he’d say, frustration clear in his voice. “We’re supposed to swap back like everyone else!”

“I know, Roger,��� I’d reply, feeling a mix of guilt and helplessness. “But the doctors keep saying there’s nothing they can do.”

Each visit felt like a rerun. We’d both introduce ourselves as Jared, which left the doctors baffled. Cases like ours, where one person wanted to swap back and the other didn’t, were rare to say the least. Every time, the doctors would conclude the same: “There’s no known solution. You’re in that rare percentage where the swap appears permanent.”

Outside these appointments, I’ve hidden the truth that I’m a “long swapper.” I lied to my friends, claiming we’d swapped back. Whenever Roger tried to reconnect, I’d tell them, “He’s struggling with being in his old body again. Can you blame him?” I’d flex my muscles playfully, and they’d laugh along with me.

Alex, one of my new friends, once remarked, “Man, you kept yourself in amazing shape. I get why he's having a hard time giving it up.”

“Yeah, who wouldn’t?” I replied, flexing my arm and grinning.

In truth, even if they find a cure, I’m confident that at this point nobody would believe him to swap us back anyway.

Then there’s Arthur, that guy who was in my DMs when I first got this body. At first, I was just exploring and looking for a quick fuck. Arthur’s profile caught my eye, and his first message was direct: “Damn, you’re hot.”

“Glad you noticed,” I replied, feeling a thrill of excitement. Once I got over the paranoia of quarantine, we met up. And the chemistry was immediate. We spent hours talking and fooling around, and I found myself wanting more than just a casual hookup.

Eventually, I realized I was in Jared’s body permanently and decided it was okay to pursue a serious relationship with Arthur. One evening, after a romantic dinner, I decided it was time to take the next step. We were cuddled up in bed, the room dimly lit, creating an intimate atmosphere.

“Arthur,” I said, my voice a mix of excitement and nerves. “I’ve been thinking... I don’t want this to be just casual anymore. I want us to be official.”

Arthur’s eyes widened slightly, then softened. “You mean it? You really want to be with me, just me?”

“Absolutely,” I said, my heart pounding. “You mean so much to me. I want to make this real.”

Arthur’s response was a deep, passionate kiss. “I’ve wanted this too,” he murmured against my lips. “I’ve fallen for you, Jared. Completely.”

That night, our intimacy reached a new level. As we kissed, Arthur’s hands roamed over my body, and I felt his touch ignite every nerve. “I want you,” he whispered, his breath hot against my ear. “I want to be inside you.”

“Yes,” I breathed, my body trembling with anticipation. “Please, Arthur.”

Arthur positioned himself between my legs, his eyes never leaving mine as he slowly entered me, filling me completely. The sensation was overwhelming, a perfect blend of pleasure and connection. “You feel amazing,” he groaned, his hands gripping my hips tightly.

“You too,” I gasped, my body arching in response. He began to move, his thrusts slow and deep, each one sending waves of ecstasy through me. His lips found mine in a searing kiss, our breaths mingling as we moved together.

As his pace quickened, Arthur’s hands slid up to my chest, his fingers teasing my nipples. “You like this?” he asked, his voice a low murmur filled with desire.

“Fuck, yes,” I moaned, my body responding eagerly to his touch. His fingers pinched and rolled my nipples, sending electric jolts of pleasure straight to my cock. I could feel the tension building, a tight coil ready to snap.

Arthur’s thrusts became more insistent, his hands working my nipples with expert precision. “I want to make you cum, Jared,” he whispered, his voice commanding yet tender. “I want you to cum just from this.”

“Oh God,” I groaned, my hips bucking as the pleasure became almost unbearable. “Arthur, I’m so close…”

“Cum for me,” he urged, his eyes locked onto mine. His fingers twisted my nipples just right, his thrusts hitting that perfect spot inside me.

With a final, powerful thrust and a twist of his fingers, the coil inside me snapped. I cried out, my body shuddering violently as I came, my cock pulsing and twitching without a single touch. The intensity of the orgasm left me breathless, my head spinning with the sheer force of the pleasure.

Arthur groaned, following me over the edge as he filled me, his body trembling with his release. He kissed me deeply, capturing my moans with his lips, and I felt a profound connection in that moment – a perfect melding of our bodies and souls.

As we lay there, our bodies still entwined, I looked into Arthur’s eyes and saw the same contentment and love I felt. “You’re incredible,” I panted, my heart still racing. “I’ve never felt anything like that.”

Arthur smiled, brushing his lips over mine. “You’re pretty amazing yourself,” he murmured, his eyes shining with affection.

---

Our relationship continued to grow, and soon Arthur’s work contract was nearing its end. “I have to move back to Buenos Aires,” he said one evening over dinner. “But I want you to come with me.”

“Buenos Aires?” I echoed, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness. “What would I do there?”

“There’s nothing tying you here, right?” he asked, squeezing my hand. “We can start fresh there. You can find work, and we can build a life together.”

“I’m ready for this adventure,” I said, a thrill of excitement running through me. “Let’s do it.”

The next few weeks were a whirlwind of preparations. I got a new passport, and we packed our bags, each item a reminder of our life here and a promise for the new one we were about to build. The night before our flight, we lay in bed, wrapped around each other, the anticipation electric between us.

“Tomorrow, everything changes,” Arthur whispered, his fingers tracing patterns on my chest. “Are you nervous?”

“Maybe a little,” I admitted, my hand resting on his. “But I’m also really excited. I can’t wait to start this new life with you.”

Arthur’s eyes sparkled in the dim light. “You’re going to love Buenos Aires. The culture, the energy – it’s intoxicating. And I can’t wait to show you everything.”

Our lips met in a slow, passionate kiss, and soon we were lost in each other again, our bodies moving in a rhythm that had become so familiar and yet still so thrilling. That night, Arthur made love to me with an intensity that spoke volumes about his feelings. As he thrust into me, his hands roamed my body, his touch both tender and possessive.

“I want you to remember this,” he murmured, his breath hot against my neck. “I want you to feel me with you as we start this new chapter.”

“I will,” I gasped, my body arching into his touch. “I’ll always remember this.”

As Arthur moved inside me, his hands found my nipples, teasing and pinching them in a way that sent shivers of pleasure through me. I felt my orgasm building again, the tension coiling tighter with each thrust. “Arthur,” I moaned, my voice breathless. “I’m so close…”

“Let go for me,” he urged, his voice husky with desire. “Cum for me, Jared.”

With those words, I let go, my body surrendering to the pleasure. The orgasm that followed was intense and overwhelming, a perfect culmination of our connection. Arthur held me close as we came together, our breaths mingling, our hearts beating in unison.

As we lay there, spent and satisfied, I knew I had made the right decision. Buenos Aires was just the beginning of our adventure, and I couldn’t wait to see where it would take us.

[drdemonprince]

Hi Dr. Price,

I’m a huge fan of your work and I’ve found it immensely helpful in figuring out who I am.

In recent years I’ve discovered I am both AuDHD and Bi. My partner is also Bi and very supportive. However we have been together for over a decade and I’m struggling a lot lately with the fact that I’ve never actually been with anyone else. I’ve been spending a lot of time in queer spaces online and finding myself wishing I could at least experience some of what they do.

I love her more than anything and would never do anything to hurt her. She’s not interested in opening things up in any way, which I completely respect and to be fair I’m not even sure that’s truly something I would want either.

I guess I’m just asking if you have any advice on these overwhelming feelings of missing out on aspects of life I never knew I even missed? Other than using porn to get it out of my mind as I’m worried that’s affecting our relationship sexually, which is another issue. Should I find a dating sim game or something to push all of these thoughts on to? It’s kind of messed up but I feel like if I was allowed to flirt online and not actually act on it that might satisfy me? I don’t know.

If nothing else thank you so much for your work and giving me a space to get this off my chest. ❤️

Because I am of the mind that most longings for queer expression/recognition/community cannot and should not be met with media consumption, I'm not going to tell you that there is any kind of game that can simulate queer erotic contact in a way that will be remotely satisfying for you.

You and your partner's desires for your relationship and its boundaries are important and matter, but alongside that, I would also encourage you to listen to that urge that tells you that you'd love to flirt online with a sexy queer stranger as a way to let a little of the steam off.

The wants you are feeling are real, and when disregarded or left unattended they can spiral out in all kinds of unpleasant ways, from just regular garden variety frustration, to resentment, to conducting years long emotional affairs with agoraphobic instagram thot boys you met online (not that I know anything about that).

You want to be recognized by another queer person as a sexually desirable, available person, you want to feel the rush of a developing romance, you want the future to be filled with possibility and excitement, you want to know that your life is not over and that there's still more to learn about yourself and more experiences to enjoy -- these are all good things. These are important things, and I promise you that it is very unlikely that you won't get to experience more desire, attraction, sexual contact, romance, and heartbreak in the years to come.

Most relationships end. Those that last more than a couple of years undergo dramatic shifts over the course of their tenure. And so, it is very likely that you and your partner will either eventually split, or your various desires and capacities will become incompatible in certain ways, and you will contemplate some kind of change to the relationship dynamic (or someone will fail to communicate this and cheat. hopefully not that one. But if it does happen, well. It's very common and not the end of the world or even necessarily the end of the bond).

How does it feel to confront this information? That in all likelihood, this relationship will either end, open up in some way, change dramatically in its dynamic, or be marked by one or both parties stepping out in some way, however small, be it an online flirtation or a kiss at a party or a sexual affair? I think your feelings in response to that information is important too. And that regardless of what you and your partner decide for the time being, it is an important series of potentialities to reflect on and emotionally prepare oneself for. Also worth asking: are these potential futures ones that you can speak to your partner about? One of them will likely be headed for you in time, not through any fault of your own or due to lack of love, but simply because people change and relationships develop, just like a person develops. Whether or not these are subjects that can be broached is itself valuable information, too.

Now personally, I am very biased, but I think there is very little harm in having some virtual sex with a consenting stranger, roleplaying sexy interactions online, even getting on a dating or cruising app and posting a few anonymized photos and seeing what kind of attention you get and enjoying the rush. I think that kind of thing is all within the realm of the harmless and forgivable, but hey, my sister just ended an engagement over her fiance doing that kind of thing, so not everyone agrees with me clearly.

But I think it is worth at least contemplating the full, long continuum of infidelity that exists, from having a whole secret other marriage and family and keeping a partner in the dark about it on one end, say, and making bedroom eyes with a cute person at the bar and fantasizing about what if what if what if, on the other. If your partner did anything along that whole continuum, you might be hurt, and likewise they might be if you do.

You say you love your partner more than anything and would never do anything to hurt her. But you can't really promise yourself that. Every partner hurts one another in some way or another, sometimes even intentionally, over the course of a long relationship. But hurting one another in a relationship is, also, not the end of the world. We all make mistakes, say things we regret, lose control of our faculties at times, or are simply forced to reconcile that what we need conflicts with what another person does. And sometimes we put our needs first, even though it's uncomfortable.

I don't regret the times I cheated. I regret the lack of communication and cowardice that brought me to that half-formed, unarticulated decision. But I don't regret ever having chosen to listen to needs that had been powerfully screaming inside of me, typically for years before I attended to them.

I think you and your partner should continue having very frank conversations about these topics, and do your best to regulate your own anxieties and feelings of relationship threat when the other party brings up an activity or an idea that makes the other feel scared. The choice isn't to remain monogamous or to become fully polyamorous with no hierarchy. There are a lot of activities you can both decide are either okay or not okay, and conditions under which you will engage in them.

Even what counts as "monogamy" is subject to fierce debate, that's part of why so many jealous straight people destroy one another so easily. Is texting someone you think is cute in a flirtatious but ultimately just friendly way cheating? Is dancing with someone else cheating? What kind of dancing is okay and is not? Is cuddling on the couch? Working on erotica together? Kissing? Is watching porn with someone else cheating? Is masturbating to a video they sent you?

You might have a very visceral response to these questions, but those are just like, your opinions. They are not set in stone and you can easily find another monogamous person who is just as adamant about completely opposing rules and definitions of what monogamy means to them. And so, it's worth talking with your partner and really being honest with yourself about what it is you want to do, what is decidedly off the table, and what the hell it even is that you two are talking about when you discuss your relationship and its limits.

If it were me, and if I could wave a wand and make you and your partner feel okay about and agree to a set of relationship limits, I think you should consider flirting with actual queer people online. But I can't control other people's behavior or emotions, as much as I have tried. But you can at least contemplate (and then discuss) alternate ways of getting the kind of attention that you desire.

There are lots of things you can do to scratch your itch that are not having sex or dating someone else: LARPing (there is larping that has a sexual or romantic component!). Tabletop games. Acting or improv that incorporates romantic or sexual elements. Going to a sex party and just WATCHING people do stuff. Going to a gay bar and just hanging out and socializing. Going to a cruising bar and watching people fuck. Going to a dungeon for a class or a demo. Going on gay speed dating but secretly agreeing that you're not actually going to take anybody home, you're just gonna see how it feels. Wearing a slutty outfit to pride and waving and winking at people. Exchanging heartfelt letters with a queer friend who you have chemistry with but who respects your relationship.

These are just some ideas, but the possibilities are limitless. One day, you and your partner might agree that you are open to having sex with other people, or flirting, but not to them having other lasting relationships. maybe you'll have threesomes together or one partner will watch the other fuck casual hook-ups. Or maybe you'll just break up. Who knows what the future holds! No matter what it is, you can figure it out with both love and commitment to your partner, but also the courage to name what you are feeling and to honor your desires. None of those things have to be incompatible, and monogamy doesn't have to be incompatible with getting a little thrill here and there either.

Good luck!

[idlerin]

nonsense — 38. hard to love

“baby, i have something to say and… could you not open any social media app for a few—“ you cut oikawa off before he could finish his sentence.

“too late,” you said softly, lips pursed and brows wrinkled. the article you just read about you began to actually sink in. your name. your information. spread for thousands of rabid people on the internet to see.

“you… saw the article?” oikawa asked, dread immediately seeping in. how were you going to react? what do you want to do now? he was planning to ease you into the news, his plan on how to say it wasn’t completed yet. he hoped this won’t make you want to leave him.

“articles, yeah,” you say, suddenly forgetting how to breathe properly. still trying to process the fact that thousands of people now know your name and now have more untoward malicious feelings directed at you. tons of people you know are flooding your inbox, asking if the article was real, and you weren’t really in the mood to reply. the worst ones are probably your roommates, you live with them–even if you rarely stay in the dorms these days–and now they were probably reading about how the secret boyfriend they suspected you had was oikawa tooru, the celebrity they idolized (if the mini shrine in the living room wasn’t enough of a tell about how much they adored him).

you knew you had to announce your relationship with oikawa to the world, one way or another. that was just one of the clauses in pursuing your romance with him. you didn’t want it to go like this, announced by some gossip news outlet without knowledge or preparation from both you and him. you didn’t want to get bombarded, you didn’t want to feel overwhelmed, and yet it already happened.

so it was completely rational that you were internally panicking.

you were still on the couch when oikawa sat beside you, reaching out to hold your hand, making you face him, “i’m sorry,” he starts, “this must be very overwhelming, i’m sorry.”

“stop..” you say, “it’s not like you chose for the articles to be published, don’t say sorry like it’s your fault,” you grip his hand back.

“the pr team is going to handle the aftermath. we’re going to take the article down, okay?” he says, “i just… the one who leaked your information…” his jaw ticks.

“do you know who it is?” you ask. could it be one of the staff? but the only ones who know of your relationship with oikawa are akane and riseki… and they wouldn’t do that? would they?

“i have a hunch,” oikawa admits.

“oh,” was your pathetic response, you didn’t want to think about who the person who caused the disruption of your life right now.

“what do you want to do, darling?” oikawa asks, beginning to caress your hand. “honestly right now.. i don’t want to think about it much. i’m.. i just.. can i process this in the morning?” you gulp, right now, all you wanted was for oikawa to hold you. you bury your face in his shoulder, he instinctively wraps an arm around you to pull you closer, you feel him kiss the side of your head.

“of course,” oikawa sighs, “i’m sorry again, i know it’s hard to love me because of things like this..”

“i said stop saying sorry, and don’t say that, you’re not hard to love at all,” you mumble.

“this wasn’t how i planned movie night to go…” oikawa’s hand raised to your nape.

“how did you plan it to go?” you raise your head, playing along to his light change of topic, it made you feel better.

“hm well i thought we’d watch movies till 4am, there would be a lot less depressing sequence of events and a lot more kissing,” oikawa leans in to give you a peck on the lips then came back to give you a deeper one, a hand caressing your arm and the other curling in your hair.

“sounds nice,” you hum, wishing for what could have been.

“unfortunately, i have to leave you for a few minutes to make some calls, darling,” oikawa wet his lips, “i don’t really want to leave you though.”

“do you promise to be back in 15-20 minutes?” you raise a brow.

“i promise, darling,” he gives you one last kiss.

masterlist — previous | next

✦ fun facts !

oikawa left sato delivered on purpose so sato could have time to worry and overthink

nonsense ! an oikawa tooru social media au

synopsis. you were oikawa tooru’s #1 fan, until you became his #1 hater. you hated him so much you went viral on twitter (accidentally) and literally became known as “the oikawa tooru hater”, doesn’t help that he keeps fueling the fire by subtweeting you. everyone is all in for this new drama. what isn’t known to the public, is that this particular drama’s been on hold for three years (him being your ex and all).

a/n — sorry kind of short !! but this had all i wanted to say hehehe.

taglist is closed ! + (1/2) @kawaii-angelanne @ceneridiankaa @kittycasie @rukia-uchiha-98 @polish-cereal @kellesvt @rockleeisbaeeee @kashxyou @imsoluvly @jjulliette @tooruchiiscribs @littlefreakjulia @gomjohs @qualitygiantshoepsychic @mellowknightcolorfarm @konzumeken @migosple @kuroogguk @sangwooooo @katsu-shi @wolffmaiden @rijhi @2baddies-1porsche @yeehawcity @aishkaaa @crueldinasty @renardiererin @yyuiz @llamakenma @penguinlovestowrite @princelingperfect @hearts4faey @yoonabeo @pantherhappy @julia-1901 @godsbiggestmenace @angel-luv-04 @noideawhothatis @bethbat @natsvmie @luna-mothii @lylovw @apinu @leave-rae-alone @kamikokii @bananasquash @eitaababe @minimari415 @hanabihwa @nilopillo

[itssuppertim3]

Random Paladin Danse HC's That Make Me Smile

not that any of my minions know this, but i’m back into fallout and Paladin Danse’ ass is grass which only means one thing

fuckin

HEADCANONS

let the brain rot commence.

——————————

He obviously loves that education, and is always, ALWAYS, searching for an excuse to learn more about dead America. And who better to learn from than a relic of the past? You! On the other hand, my Sole was never a vault dweller, so she knows next to nothing about those broken gizmos other than what scrap they'll produce. So in one scenario you have big bulk man exhausting you with curiosity, and in another he's literally brimming with information to teach you. Both work well in my opinion.

Literal big brother energy. That kind of changes if or when you admit to him that his ass is literally bigger than a star, but throughout your time serving with him it's very clear that he works well with a sibling-like relationship. You may see him as an older brother, or maybe you just hate him. I dunno man. But all-in-all, he's always the first one there. Always at your side ready to defend you from whatever your postapocalyptic world launches at you. He's almost as loyal as Dogmeat. Almost.

This man stands CLOSE. Sometimes he doesn't even realize it; he just feels at ease being near you (especially if you don't use power armor). He's real caught on that savior mentality. Somehow he's only convinced that you're safe if he's just feet from where you're standing. And don't get me started on firefights. This big booty military man will jump in front of you with no shits to give. You even land a couple shots on him by accident, but that's alright. He doesn't really feel it. He really should prioritize his own safety sometimes.

He never drinks if he can help it, but that's only because alcohol makes him giggly. He'll relax with a couple beers, but anything past that is dangerous for him. He simply doesn't like the embarrassment of completely switching personalities in front of his subordinates. Even you, believe it or not. He likes things "clean, by the book," blah blah. So many people are convinced that he lacks personality, but truthfully he just prefers to act tough. It makes him feel 10 ft tall.

He sleeps with a body pillow. 100% I will live by that statement. Think about it: he practically lives within a wall of steel and cushioned padding. He's more touch deprived than a goldfish. He probably can't recall the last time he genuinely felt a person, which isn't something he dislikes. There's moments when even a pat on the shoulder is too overwhelming for him. He wishes he enjoyed having that closeness with someone. There're many occasions where he longs for your arms to be encased around him or vice versa. He wants to love, but he doesn't exactly know how. So instead of touching you, he spams you with uplifting compliments and hugs his pillow in Dansey bliss.

He complains about rain and bodies of water enough to convince everyone he hates it, but what's interesting is when he's in your company. Walking around like a transformer all the time, he's always prepared for stormy weather. You however... ehhh. He doesn't like it when you get drenched (😫) so he'll immediately scan the surrounding area for shelter. If there is none, and depending on the direction of the wind, he'll situate himself to where you get wet (😫) to a minimum. He's like your personal hunky umbrella. Every once in a while, you grow confused over the fuss. You may enjoy rain, or at least tolerate it, but he still wouldn't give a damn. "It would be irresponsible of me, as your mentor, to allow you to catch a cold under these conditions." In other words, he's a big worrywart over your wellbeing. And he's more used to patching up battle wounds. A sickly fever? Not so much.

You'd think he would be better at knowing your whereabouts, but he definitely isn't. With his suit having so many blind spots and you being so low to the ground, he's constantly losing track of you; hence why he chooses to walk behind you. When you stop in Diamond City, you like to prank him a bit by slipping away and making him go in big brother panic mode. You've tried it in Goodneighbor once or twice, but it never works there. Once you're behind those walls, his eyes never leave you. Not once. He scolds you more harshly when you play games in that town.

He loves to feel useful, even with something mundane like reaching something up high for you or even hoisting you up through a broken ceiling or over a wall. He additionally likes to show off strength. He smashes through walls and doors like cardboard, and crushes just about anything under his gauntlets with ease. On the other hand, he loves it when you feel useful as well. Sure, he can count back dozens of times when he could've dislodged a safe door or tore the wires from a terminal to deactivate turrets, but instead he chose to step back and admire your handiwork. And when you succeed, he always boosts you with praise.

The only hack he uses to style his hair is mud, sweat, and grease. And it still looks flawless every damn time.

There's no way in hell he walks around with all that cake and authority and NOT have an aggressive fanbase on the Prydwen. That just ain't so. There's a whole line of women in their baldheaded glory begging for him to notice them, and the hilarious part is he never does. Heroic actions and deeds in honor of the Brotherhood are what yanks his immediate attention. He's also trained enough soldiers to tell the difference between talent, potential, and kissing up. He hates those sorts most of all.

Keep in mind what I said about his awkwardness with physical touch, because when he's actually starting out in a relationship, it is so over for him. At first he almost wishes you'd remain friends just so you wouldn't give him heart murmurs every 5 fucking minutes. He also grows more protective over you than ever before, but that isn't surprising. Give him a few weeks to settle into this new territory and he'll gradually adapt. You do your best to go at his pace, so instead of downright kissing him you peck him sweetly on the cheek. The more you do it the more he realizes just how much he adores it. Even now he still has a hard time expressing his feelings, so you have to study close for any cues he may give you. Somehow if you're just not skilled at reading him, he'll eventually get persistent enough to lean towards your level and sit jagged and redfaced for a while until you deliver.

It's funny to watch him try and squeeze into an elevator. He'll go the extra mile to search for an intact flight of stairs just so he won't look like a Jack in the Box. Watching him squeeze back out is even sillier. He has to position his shoulders and knees just right so that his pauldrons or helm won't get caught in the narrow doorframe. It mostly works, though only because of all the trial and error he's had to endure.

----------------

alright folks it's 3am which means i have very pressing matters to attend to like sleeping

[allthosepeopleilovetofangirlover]

DATING STEPHEN STRANGE HEADCANONS

Let's be real, this man is OBSESSED with you.

Stephen is the kind of guy who's either not into you at all or he's absolutely in love with you. There's no in between for him.

When you two got together, Stephen would follow you around, trying to see and remember basic things about you like your everyday habits, what you like and dislike. He did this because he wanted to know what would keep you happy and what wouldn't.

His love language is gift giving. Anytime if you even look at something and your eyes light up, he will remember what that was and will get it for you. No matter the cost.

You always reprimand him for buying something way too expensive for you, but all he replies with is : Darling, you're the most precious thing I have. This is the least I can do for you.

He's a hotshot surgeon, but he holds interest in nobody other than you. You're it for him.

You get jealous of women who tail him around, who can't get it in their heads that he's in a serious, committed relationship with you.

If you start doubting yourself and start feeling insecure, Stephen is always there to reassure you, calm you down, and doesn't even hesitate to show all those women that he belongs to you.

But he also doesn't hesitate to show other men that you belong to him.

Stephen is very possessive, and hates it when any other man gets too close to you. You're his, and no one else gets to be too close for comfort.

If he ever spots you laughing with someone, or talking to someone for too long, he'll try to revert your attention back to him.

God forbid, if he ever finds a man flirting with you or bothering you, his deadly glares with turn into violent punches.

He's also deadly protective, always touching you in some form at public events, and keeping an alert eye on your surroundings, searching if anyone is giving you unwanted attention.

Though you've told him dozens of times that you can protect yourself just fine, he's always unconvinced.

Though he doesn't underestimate you, he just wants to be a man who protects his lady.

He'll be hesitant to introduce to the fellow Avengers because he's worried that you'll be overwhelmed, but you insist that you'll be fine.

You constantly worry about his safety and well-being whenever he's on missions, that's something you cannot stop doing even after tons of reassuring from him.

He's arrogant, and has plenty of anger issues, but you motivate him to be a better person. And he likes it.

Your smile can melt his heart, and he'll keep the world at your feet if you just asked.

Despite being responsible and secretive about his powers, Stephen wouldn't hesitate to use them once in a while to make you feel happy.

You're a gem in Stephen's life, just like he is in yours. You're eternally grateful to have each other, and love each other unconditionally.

[skzstoryvault]

Bitter Lemon (Chan, smut and angst)

F!Reader x Chan

Standalone story

The title is a reference to the drink with the same name and a play on the fact that a long time ago, stories with smut in them were called lemons.

I really dig realistic smut and there's too little of it out there.

Established relationship. Both have insecurities.

This is in no way meant as a commentary on the real person Chan. I just like the SKZ outward personas they all project and I get inspired to write these. No connection with the real artists. They all deserve the world.

Story includes smut and angsty thoughts.

Please be kind.

Please do not report this post. If it's not your thing, just scroll away.

If you're underage, please scroll on, there is nothing for you here.

If you enjoy this story and are reading along, I would love to hear your comments in the replies, reblogs or DMs - however you feel most comfortable.

***

“Fuck! I’m- I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m-” You don’t even register his words as he says them, too distracted by how gorgeous he looks, swept away by the tidal wave of sensation and by the way he fills you so exquisitely, igniting pleasure in every corner of your being, making your toes curl and your eyes roll to the back of your head. 

You feel him collapsing on top of you, shaking and trying to regain control of his body. He glistens so enticingly with a fresh sheen of sweat, you swipe your tongue over a nearby patch of skin. Licking a long trail up the side of his neck and feeling your pussy squeeze him from his taste on your tongue. It’s so clean and hot, familiar and exciting. So him, and it’s letting you know all of him is yours. “Again, Channie. I know you want to.” You whisper in his ear, your fingers carding through his hair. 

He’s still hard inside you, and if he starts moving now, he’ll stay hard until you wring another orgasm from him. He just needs his special brand of encouragement. “I know you want to be good and make it up to me.” You whisper, bringing your hands up from his shoulders into his hair, carding your fingers through it, knowing the touch makes his scalp tingle and sends pleasant shivers down his spine. “More, Channie.”

He’s been hiding his face in your neck, embarrassed about coming so fast, even after so many times you’ve been together. Little does he know, you get more satisfaction from being with him, feeling him, having him inside you and seeing him like this, vulnerable and unedited just for you. Orgasms are easy to get for you once you decide to go for one and the only reason you don’t come as fast as he does is because you want more of the journey up to the peak over just getting there quickly. “Why am I still hard, oh God, what are you doing to me?” He wonders, his next gasp becoming an overwhelmed squeak when you squeeze your walls around him. “You’re going to wring me dry.” “Yes baby, I am.” You say, running the tip of one foot up his side. “Every bit of you is mine. Every drop of your come is mine. Isn’t that so, Channie?”  “Yes, yes, yours. All yours.” He whines, with his eyes closed and lost in the tidal wave of sensations running through him. You feel him get even harder inside you and start to move slowly. “All yours. Wanna be the best boy for you.” He adds, leaning down for a kiss, sweet and shy like he’s not in your guts to the hilt. 

You bring your hands down to his butt, fingers splaying and sharp nails digging into soft skin, kneading and grabbing. 

“You are my good boy, only you.” He moans at that, the sound feeling like a hot coal being dropped in your lower belly, before he angles himself differently and resumes moving, opening his eyes and daring to meet yours. 

It’s been a long road and there’s still so long to go ahead of you, but you’re getting there. Your boyfriend has had his self worth chipped away at by powerful men who should have helped grow it, and it’s been affecting all areas of his life. Little by little, you’re helping him find it, like collecting puzzle pieces that make no sense on their own but build a better picture once put together. And most people would say it’s immoral to use sex as a ruse to change a man’s thinking, but it was an easy in and you hold on to that. It’s as good a place to start as any. You are genuinely in awe of your boyfriend and one day he’s going to see it, see himself through your eyes and no longer think “how come that loser has a girlfriend?”

But in order to enjoy the here and now, you need to silence the voice within that warns you - the auntie with the sharp tongue, who's seen it all before. Girl, don’t put work in a man who'll just take it and let another woman or man benefit from it. Cause every time you help a man grow, the first confident thought he has is he needs to upgrade from you. “Babe? Please come back to me? You’re worlds away.” His soft voice reaches you first, before you feel his small, pleading kisses being peppered all over your jaw and neck. “I need you.”

Maybe the auntie that’s seen it all hasn’t seen Chan and maybe she’s wrong this one time.

[blueraineshadows]

Part Eleven

Sebastian Sallow 🔺️ F!MC 🔺️Leander Prewett

MC turns to Sebastian in search of answers, but can she trust him? He might ask the same of her. Their relationship turns a full circle as they try to figure out the path they are on, whilst Leander meets a new face.

13.4 k words. Tags: NSFW / angst / trauma / sexual tension / jealousy / possessiveness / love triangle / death reference / hints about murder and torture

Chapter master list and Ao3

Eleven: Loving You Is A Blood Sport

MC

In the deepest well of her memories lingered hazy flashbacks of hard, uncomfortable beds, cold feet, and the echoing loneliness of being one amongst many in the cramped rooms of the orphanage. Other children would come and go, either by death or taken in by some kind soul. Some would just disappear never to be seen again, but not MC. She remained. A constant in a world where you learned fast, eating what you were given as quickly as possible before it could be taken by another, sleeping with one ear and eye open lest a chancer came to steal your socks in the dead of night. It was an unforgiving upbringing, ruled over by a matron who used a cane to keep the children in line.

Always different, always an outsider, MC kept her silence and observed. There was no point making friends when that child could be gone the next day, and even if she did dare to befriend someone, her unusual gifts would chase them off eventually, the quirks of her magic sometimes appearing when her desperate attempts at control would slip.

As she grew older, boys began to take an interest, and she was grateful for the segregation fences that gave her space to remain hidden from their attention. Her unusual abilities were hard enough to keep a secret without all the extra focus, and so she remained distant, building the barriers that would help protect her in later life when she found herself behind bars.

Discovering that her magic was not a flaw, but in fact, a very vital and powerful part of herself, had felt like a homecoming of sorts when she entered the wizarding world. There had been no need for fences anymore, and she had allowed daylight through the cracks of her barriers, opening herself up enough to let a few people come close. Whilst easing the longing for intimacy that consumed her, it was also painful when you allowed people in. Caring for another opened you up to both the warmth of acceptance and the crushing pain of loss, and sorting through that tangle of emotions was hard. The temptation to immediately seal up the cracks was strong, and hiding would be all too easy, but the glow that came from being close to someone was very powerful and addictive. It surprised her how much she longed for even more of it, to be held and told that everything would be alright. It eased some of the heavy weight she carried when she could lay her head somewhere warm and safe, hear another's heartbeat thudding a comforting rhythm, and feel hands smoothing over her skin, evoking fire and abandon that distracted and sated.  

Once you let the first person in, it became a landslide as others joined the circle, and now she was spinning in bewildered shock as that circle now enlarged to include blood relatives. She had a family in the world. Real people. They had names, faces, lives…and what was even more shocking. She knew who they were.

Did they know who she was?

She suspected they did not, and her heart thudded painfully as she thought of the hours spent in the company of one who was blood, someone she had allowed to become close. All that time they had shared together, and they had been family all along. The need to see his face was overwhelming, and yet, she feared he would reject her, unable to accept that she was a relative. In order to get answers, though, she would need to confront that fear. In order to find her true self, she needed to step out beyond the barriers she still held tightly around herself.

Twilight shadows lengthened as the sky morphed into darkness, her boots stepping lightly across the cobbled street as she made for the door of the Black Rose pub. There was no point in hesitating outside and chewing her lip, worrying about the consequences of entering the establishment this time. Tired of lurking and waiting on the sidelines, MC pushed the door open and crossed the threshold, her hood pushed back to reveal her face. Holding her head high she scanned the room, her face carefully blank as her gaze landed on the small group of familiar Ashwinders seated in a far corner. The bar room was busy, the hum of chattering customers adding to the feeling of the walls pressing inwards, but she fought to ignore the imposing sensation of eyes on her as she crossed the space.

Rosier noticed her first, recognition dawning on his handsome face as she strode towards their table, swallowing down the gentle nervous flutters behind her ribs. He nudged Sebastian with his elbow, garnering his attention away from Luella, who was seated beside him. Ignoring the clench of envy in her stomach, MC remained determined as Sebastian’s eyes lifted towards her, a flash of delight appearing in the chocolate depths before he masked it with a similar cool indifference to her own stony facade. Despite her efforts to remain focused on her task, clearly there was a game to play here in front of everyone. Steeling herself, she kept her chin tilted upwards as she glanced around the table. 

She had turned down Leander’s offer of help earlier today, concerned that he was risking himself enough by digging up buried information for her. Rather than let him get into trouble, she had come here to seek out someone who could easily point her in the right direction without the added risk. Gazing upon Sebastian’s freckled face, she wondered if he knew the truth. Did he know what his uncle had done when she was a baby? Did he know the blood he had bonded with ran strong with a power other than her ancient magic? Could it be his reason for wanting her in the first place, and not because of deeper feelings brought on by their time together?

“We meet again, sweetheart,” Rosier said, that disarming smile of his drawing her attention away from Sebastian. “Are you planning on sticking around a bit longer this time? You seemed in rather a hurry to get away at our previous meeting, and just when I was starting to get to know you.” 

“Good evening, Mr Rosier,” MC said coolly, trying to ignore the way his smile widened at her formality. There was something in his eyes that told her he liked a challenge as he lazily surveyed her. “I'm actually here to speak with Mr Sallow, if he wouldn't mind.” 

“He wouldn't mind at all,” Sebastian said, placing down his whiskey. Luella was watching with narrowed eyes, her shoulders tense as Sebastian looked expectant. “What can I do for you?”

“I believe we can help each other,” she said, playing the game. “I hear you have been looking for me, and I find myself in need of some information. Perhaps we could strike up a deal.”

The slow smirk that spread across Sebastian’s face made the flutters behind her ribs twirl downwards, pooling dangerously in her lower stomach. She could feel the heat spreading, making the back of her neck warm up as she forced herself to appear calm and in control. 

“I’m all ears, sweetheart,” he purred, lounging casually back in his seat, a dangerous and knowing glint in his eyes as he repeated words he had spoken to her on a hillside in Scotland mere hours ago. A shiver whispered down her spine, the memory of his arms holding her still fresh, the soft tendrils of flame at the feel of his mouth on her throat invoking anything but calm control over her senses.

Bastard.

Clenching her hands into fists as she maintained her tenuous grip on her control, MC glanced from Rosier to Luella and let her lips twist into a slight smirk. “A private word, if you would be so kind.” 

Rosier threw a grin Sebastian’s way. “Look lively, Sallow,” he said, nudging him again. “Don't keep the lady waiting.” 

Sebastian threw Rosier a warning look before standing, Luella reaching out to place a rather possessive hand on his forearm. MC felt herself stiffen at the touch, and noticed Sebastian did the same, although he looked down at Luella with surprising patience. 

“A private word?” Luella asked, one eyebrow arching upwards in a perfect curve. “Is that wise?” 

Sebastian shrugged, subtly slipping his arm free of her touch. “I'm sure I can handle it.”

Luella’s cheeks darkened with a flush, her eyes flashing as she glared at MC. It was all too clear that MC had stepped into this witch’s territory and was luring Sebastian away, Luella’s envy creeping over her face as Sebastian stepped out from the table to join MC. It was interesting to note that Sebastian barely gave Luella a second glance, turning to Rosier rather than the beautiful witch as he took his leave from their group.

“I’ll catch up with you later,” he nodded, and then turned his gaze onto MC. While his face portrayed his typical casual confidence, there was a hint of something darker and far more dangerous in the depths of his eyes. “I’m ready when you are.”

MC chanced one more glance towards Luella, the fury in the depths of her blue eyes hinting that Rookwood was likely to hear about this. Good. MC dared to smirk, her lips curving upwards in a cold, but pleased expression as she stepped aside to let Sebastian lead.

Feeling Luella’s gaze like daggers into her back, MC followed Sebastian through the bar, not failing to notice the broad expanse of his shoulders and the steady way he held himself. Tearing her eyes away from him, she let her gaze wander around the busy bar, but soon enough, she was drawn back to him as he held the door open for her.

“After you,” he said, gesturing towards the street outside. So much weight carried in two little words when you combined them with the way he looked at her, but MC fought against the urge to smile, remembering the possessive way Luella had touched him.

“Such a gent,” she quipped, tilting her chin upwards as she strode past, the chill evening air kissing her cheeks.

“How private does this need to be?” He asked quietly, appearing close to her shoulder. 

She gave him a sideways look, her pulse flickering into a faster beat at his proximity. “Very,” she murmured, the weight of her truth bearing down on her.

He nodded and she felt his hands slip about her waist from behind, her lungs drawing air in sharply as he held her tight against his chest, his breath hot on her neck. “Hold on, sweetheart.” 

As her hands clasped over his, Knockturn Alley swirled out of view. They landed on grass, his hands still holding her about the waist as they steadied their footing, her eyes darting about at their surroundings and realising they were in some kind of park.

“You need to stop doing that,” she said breathlessly, turning her head to look up at him.

“Spoil sport,” he smirked, his touch lingering at her waist. “We are still in London. Crystal Palace Park, to be exact. We should be able to enjoy some privacy here.”

His hand sought hers and he grasped it firmly, leading her across well kept grass towards a tall hedge, the breeze sighing softly through some nearby trees. Looking down at their clasped hands, she couldn’t help but be taken back five years, gallivanting across the Highland landscape with him and beginning to believe she had found her forever. The pinch in her chest was sharp as the shadows loomed over her head, the idea that nothing good would ever find roots in her soul making her eyes sting with lonely tears. What if she couldn't trust Sebastian again? It would cut out the closest thing she'd ever had with anyone.

They rounded the hedge only to be confronted by more of them, the night sky above sprinkled with early stars as Sebastian led her into the foliage tunnel, her head swivelling as she realised what it was.

“We’re in a maze,” she said, her brow furrowing as he continued to lead her deeper.

“That we are,” he said, throwing a smirk over his shoulder as he made a turn, and then another.

“Do you even know the way?” 

He turned, stepping backwards as he smiled down at her. Damn him, and his charming smile. “Isn’t not knowing all part of the fun?”

“That all depends on the details,” she said, irritation sparking along her veins. She tugged her hand from his grip making him stumble slightly as they came to a stop. “I haven’t got time for your games, Sebastian. I wasn’t lying when I said I wanted to talk.”

“Alright,” he said carefully, pushing his fingers through his mop of hair. Shadows cloaked them, and his eyes glittered in the darkness. “What did you want to talk about?”

Where did she start? How to find the words and begin? Now that they were here, her mind was spinning from the last 24 hours. Tracking Sebastian into the tunnels, McKinnon’s death, her conflicting emotions after being reunited with Sebastian, and the revelation of her birth mother. It all spun in circles, suspended in her thoughts and making her chest tighten as she stared at him.

“When you first met me, did you know who I really was?” She asked, her voice trembling slightly, her fingers grazing softly against the scar on her palm. “I told you about growing up in an orphanage, but did you have any idea of how I got there in the first place?”

He stepped closer, and she could make out the confused frown on his brow through the darkness. “How could I possibly know that? The first time I saw you was in the Great Hall at Hogwarts. I had no idea who you were then.”

She nodded, dipping her gaze as she took a steadying breath. “What about after you took me to meet your family? What did they say about me?”

“MC, what is this?” He asked, stepping even closer, his hands reaching to take hold of her elbows, drawing her into his space. She met his gaze and saw the worry there, the confusion. “Where is this going?”

“Tell me the truth,” she whispered, her lower lip wobbling as she rested her closed fists against the expanse of his chest, his hands cupping her elbows. She wanted to believe in him so much it made her ache deep inside. “Do you know who my mother is?”

He stared at her, his eyes shifting as he studied her carefully, and his grip on her tightened. “I have no idea who your mother is, MC. I promise,” he said, shaking his head. “But I get the impression you do. What happened? What makes you think I would know? Tell me.”

“I…,” she faltered, her throat closing as she teetered on the edge of her trust. She wanted to believe him, but Solomon’s name on that paperwork was as clear as day. The link of her childhood to the Sallow name was shocking. Her feet had taken her straight back to the man who had placed her into care, meeting Sebastian had put her right in front of Solomon without even realising his connection to her. Doubt tugged at her, and as much as she could feel the longing to be held by Sebastian, she stepped back, removing her arms from his grasp. The walls around her heart closed in, shutting down the gaping maw in her chest that screamed to be made whole.

“You can trust me, MC,” he said desperately, reaching forward as though to touch her, but he hesitated. “Whatever this is, whatever you need, I’m here. I promise. No matter what.”

“Leander found my birth records,” she began, her hands unfurling and clenching tightly, over and over. “He gave them to me earlier today. I know who my mother is.”

Her chest tightened, and the very air she breathed felt too thin and full of his scent, distracting her. Taking another step back from him, she considered running and not telling him anymore. Knowledge was power, after all, and how much did she want to give him?

“Who is she?” He asked, his voice strained. “Why would you think I know her? You’re worrying me, MC.”

She could hear it in his voice, see it in the way he was looking at her. In all honesty, it worried her, too. The weight that came with her birth name hung over her head, another shadow to carry along with all the others. Sebastian shared so many of her secrets already, and she knew most of his up until the point they had been forced apart. Maybe it wasn’t so wrong to share more. After all, he was the first one she had come to after declining Leander’s help. She was beginning to wonder if everything would always come back to Sebastian in the end. It was almost as though fate had cast her onto his path, a pre-written clause that she would enter the house of Slytherin and find exactly who she needed to all those years ago. Sebastian and his best friend. Their trio of darkness sealed by those who came before.

Like his uncle. Like her mother. 

“Don’t worry about me,” she said, shaking her head, still maintaining a distance. “I will be fine. I just need to find... I need…”

“Anything, MC,” he promised. “I’ll do anything.”

Staring into those molten chocolate eyes, it was so easy to believe that he would. Every cell in her body seemed to tremble with the need to feel him, the desire to press so close until their bodies blended as one seemed to almost obliterate everything else, but she couldn’t let herself get distracted in such a way. Closing her eyes, she took a steadying breath, her fingers stroking against the scar on her palm.

Not two hours ago she had been held by Leander, her face buried against the warmth of his chest, his graceful fingers soothing against her hair and back. He never asked anything of her, merely gave all that he could to ensure that she was okay. That kind of safety was foreign and felt completely undeserved, and she felt guilt tear and slide through her stomach. Her fondness for the tall Auror had grown, and she did not want to hurt him. The confusion of her feelings choked up the truth that she had come here to speak. 

Looking at Sebastian in the dark of the maze, feeling the pull that he had on her body, the magnetism that seemed to keep them locked in each other's orbit, she battled with the guilt of giving herself to another man. A man who was the light to Sebastian’s shadow. 

“Why do I always end up alone with you in the dark, Sebastian?”

The pain she tried so hard to bury echoed through the whisper of her voice. Would she regret coming back to him? Would he take what he needed and then leave her to face the dark alone?

“I'll always find you in the dark, MC,” he promised. “And you will always find me there waiting for you. It's just what we do, you and I.”

“What if that isn't enough?” 

“What more do you want?” He frowned, capturing her hand in his and holding it, his thumb grazing against her skin in a caress she could feel all the way to her bones. His gaze was intense, a muscle working in his jaw as he stepped closer. “Whatever it is you want to tell me, it won't change how I feel about you. Nothing will. I will always choose you above all others.”

Staring back at him, she wondered if he was referring to Luella, the question burning her tongue. If she asked him outright, she might not like the answers he would give. His words seeped through her thoughts, the years of solitude still making her cling to her barriers, her trust wobbling back and forth regarding him. They could love each other as deeply, and for as long as there was time on earth, but to make it work she had to choose this. She had to fight for it. Did she want that? How deeply was his family involved in her shadowed past? What secrets hung over them, and would they rip whatever remained of them apart?

Leander was the light to Sebastian’s darkness. She knew she would cast shadows over that light and smother it out eventually, and she couldn’t bear to do it to him. Sebastian had his own darkness, and together they would be reckless and dangerous. Maybe neither of these men were right for her, and the path she must walk could prove to be a lonely one after all. The ache of that possibility swelled behind her ribs, and it was crippling.

Squeezing his hand she took a breath and looked up through the gap in the maze walls to the sky above. So many questions, so many secrets and truths, and they all clogged up in her throat. She couldn't tell him. She wasn't ready. The fragility she shielded from him was held back by a cracking wall, and she needed a stronger foundation before she began to build back what they had. 

If there was anything left to build with, of course. She wasn't the only one who had taken comfort in the arms of another. Bringing her gaze back to him, she felt herself hardening as she thought of who they had left behind at the pub.

“I want to trust you, but I'm not sure I can,” she said, shaking her head. “Luella. How long has it been going on?”

She tried to pull her hand free, but this time he didn’t let her go, his grip tightening into a vice grip. Any softness she had been feeling evaporated, and a slithering, dark part of her began to creep out to play.

“I don’t know what it is you think you know, but Luella and I are not courting,” he said firmly. “She is a gang member that I must appear loyal to, that is all.”

MC felt every muscle tighten with envy, her words bitter sounding as they slid from her tongue. She was done being trodden on by anyone. “But you have fucked her, haven’t you?” 

Unable to forget the expression on his face when she had thrown Luella’s name at him on that hillside in Scotland, she let her envy get the better of her, watching him carefully in the dark of the maze as she awaited his answer. He looked down at the ground, her stomach sinking as he gripped her hand, stopping her from being able to run or Apparate without him. He nodded, and she felt her stomach cave with a sickening lurch.

“I did,” he confessed, lifting those big, brown eyes her way again. “MC, I’m sorry…”

“Let me go,” she demanded, her voice cracking. Eyes burning, she yanked her hand, but he stubbornly refused to release her, taking hold of her other arm to keep her trapped in his space. She twisted in his grip, but he held firm. She glared at him, forcing the softness from her eyes. “My memories of you kept me sane in that place, and you were out here bedding the daughter of my enemy…”

Her words choked out of her throat at the end, her chest squeezing as she bent over, gasping for breath. Her head swam with the thought of them together, his confession compounding her fears and turning them into a reality. Daring to trust him again made her a fool. Doubt clouding her thoughts, she pulled against his firm grip as he tried to stutter out an excuse.

“I don’t want to hear your apologies, Sebastian!” She snapped, her body going rigid as rage swept through her. The burn in her eyes manifested tears that began to scald her cheeks, but the rage woke the ancient magic that always lurked beneath the surface, flickering dangerously in the depths of her eyes. “And to think I felt guilty about where I lay my head at night. Well, no more.”

The remorseful expression on his face morphed swiftly into one of stony suspicion, his mouth forming a tight line as he spoke with a cold fury. “Please, don’t tell me you’re sleeping in Prewett’s bed.”

The telling blistering crackle of a bond being tested began to seeth in her blood, but she laughed, the need to bite back so strong she could almost taste it. A heady and reckless daring flooded through her with the scalding burn. She could see the rage building in his eyes, feel the tense way his body was responding to her taunt. The need to lash out and sting him the way he had ripped through her was very real, her own guilt conveniently forgotten as she let her temper get the better of her. 

“Oh, trust me, there hasn’t been much sleeping going on if you catch my drift,” she chuckled darkly. “You're not the only one who knows how to play, Sebastian, and Leander proved a most willing and satisfying accomplice.” 

“I will end him,” he hissed, his face dark and tight with fury as he gripped her harder.

Something hot and fierce bloomed behind her ribs, her cheeks flushing as she pushed back against Sebastian, her own anger ablaze in the depths of her eyes.

“You dare do anything to hurt Leander, and you will never see me again,” she warned, her words deathly cold despite the burn of her temper. Surprised at the wave of protectiveness that had flooded through her, she saw the dismay dawn on Sebastian’s face, her guilt seeping back to curl around her anger.

“You…you would do that,” he said, his brows drawing together. “You would abandon me for him?”

“You don’t understand what he did for me,” she said, her voice hushed. “What he still does…”

“He touches you,” he said, his voice hoarse, his eyes scanning her body as he tried to process her words. “You let him touch you.”

“And you let Luella touch you,” she said, some of the hardness in her voice cracking to reveal a slither of her pain. “What does that say about us?”

His hand gripped her jaw, tilting her face up to his as he fought against the fury flaring in his eyes. “She is nothing to me. Nothing!” He hissed, those dark eyes burning into hers. “What about him? You feel something for him, don’t you? I saw the way you looked at him in those tunnels. You were muttering his name in your sleep, and now you dare to threaten me to protect him. Look me in the eye and tell me you feel nothing for him. Go on!”

Coming here for his help had turned into this. Instead of keeping a grip on her control, she was lashing out and trying to hurt him. Maybe she was trying to push him away deliberately. It sounded like something stupid she would do, slam those barriers up and kick down anyone who dared to try and breach them. Just as she had warned Leander not to get too attached to her, she was striking out at Sebastian, too.

She felt heat burn in her cheeks upon discovering she spoke Leander’s name in her sleep, that he had noticed the softness she harboured for the Auror in her eyes. Despite her fury that Sebastian had taken Luella to bed, she felt guilt curl tightly in her stomach, and she let her gaze dip away from the intensity of his eyes. Her blood crackled and burned at the thought of denying her feelings, the very notion of trying to lie to Sebastian searing her heart through a promise given.

“You can’t, can you?” His voice dripped with disbelief. He let her go, his hand sliding from her jaw as he stepped back. “You have feelings for him.”

She shook her head, but the truth couldn’t be denied. “I can’t explain it…”

“I don’t want to hear it!” Sebastian roared, the tendons in his neck standing rigid as he clenched his fists. The rage on his face was absolute. “Leander Prewett will regret the day he dared lay a finger on what belongs to me!”

Sebastian

The burning in his blood was spreading like wildfire, out of control and consuming him faster than his rage, and he could physically feel the tremble all the way to his fingertips. The rage he could understand, his mind screamed with the knowledge that MC felt something for that damned Gryffindor.

His girl, his precious, precious girl. 

He blinked slowly, gritting his teeth against the crackling fire that lit his blood and scorched his heart, the sensation new and shocking. Pressing a hand to his chest, he wondered if this was heartbreak, could this be how he would die. His whole body erupting into nothing but ashes and fires of fury because she was slipping out from his reach.

The first time he had kissed those lips, the first time she had touched her fingers to his skin in a way that meant more than friendship, the breath-stealing whirlwind of falling for her…it all seemed to flash behind his eyes, like those stories you heard about facing your death. His thoughts flickered and danced like a picture book of memories, all of her, and a fog darker than death himself was striving to steal them away. He could only shake his head in denial of the fact, his own misdemeanour forgotten as he stared at her beautiful face. A face that Prewett had now touched, kissed, that prick had seen her laying against his pillow when she should only be with him.

That coiling, dark snake of his evil began to slither around his insides, seductive and alluring. The darkness lingered at his shoulder, whispering its taunts and urging him to answer. He could see the tall, redheaded figure of Prewett in his mind. The smart suit and fine robe, the healthy glow of his skin, the unwavering loyalty and truth of his eyes. A proper gentleman and an Auror, fucking perfect Prewett, always showing up and spoiling the fun. 

Why did it have to be Prewett that got her out of Azkaban first? How was it fair that he got to play the fucking hero when Sebastian had been waiting years to see her face?

He would start slowly, cracking the bones in his legs so he couldn’t run, snapping his wand so he couldn’t cast. Ropes to bind his hands, a gag to silence him, but his eyes he would leave free. He wanted to see the pain in that bastard’s eyes as he was punished. He wanted Prewett to see the face of the one he owed, and his debt of pain was a colossal one.

The thought of Prewett’s hands on her skin, his lips tasting what Sebastian hungered for…

Her laughter snapped his train of thought and he stared at her, the bitterness in that chuckle threw ice over the burn. How could this possibly be funny?

“Hurts, doesn’t it?” She said, nodding. “I know what you’re doing, Seb. You want to destroy Leander, don’t you? Perhaps you have failed to realise that by hurting him, you will also hurt me, and you can’t do that. You can’t betray me like that, because you made a promise. Trapped by your own pact, Sebastian.”

She held up her left palm, waving it in his face, her blood scar vivid against her pale flesh. “It makes your blood boil, doesn’t it? Does your heart feel like it’s going to burst in your chest?”

“Sounds like you’re speaking from experience, love?” He said, his voice low and dangerous as he spoke through gritted teeth.

“You do have a habit of giving me reasons to be mad,” she huffed. “You, and that bitch of a sister of yours. I won’t deny that I have considered my revenge, no matter who she is.”

She winced, sucking in a breath and pressing a hand to her own chest. Interesting…

Looking at his own scar on his palm, he pondered the burn, the wicked pulse of his heart as he seethed. The blood magic was strong, their connection absolute. He couldn’t help but feel a surge of pride at the success of it. He tilted his head, his body slipping into that sleek and alert mode he so enjoyed when faced with a challenge. Blood thrumming with anger and a promise made, he realised his wand was already in his grip. He couldn’t recall slipping it from his holster. So intent was he on his rage, his blinkers over her betrayal cancelling out everything else, he even allowed the slur against his twin.

“Hurting Prewett might just be worth the pain,” he said, the coiling darkness so seductive and alluring. Dare he add another dark mark on his arm, another soul for his little collection. He licked his lips as he fought back the idea of the auror’s hands at her waist, her thigh, her pretty little neck. He would snap every bone in Prewett’s hand for daring to touch her.

He watched her eyes flare, her soft lips parting slightly as she stared. “You would die,” she rasped.

“Would you even care?” He asked, his feet shifting position, his fingers flexing around his wand handle. His eyes narrowed, envious and raw. “Does he please you, MC? Does he give you what you need?”

Her throat worked as she counter stepped, her own wand in her hand now, but it was aimed towards the ground and not him. His lips almost twitched into a smirk of satisfaction, the hours spent sparring with her when they were young still so ingrained into her body that she moved without thinking. Their steps like a dance, he raised his wand arm, and she mirrored his move.

“Do you really want to know the details, Sebastian?”

The hedges rose up in the dark around them, shielding them from the London park. The night sky stretched above them, the smog thin this evening, allowing the stars to peek down upon their heads with the gentle glow of a half moon. The air was chilled, but his blood was enough to keep him warm as he faced MC down on the maze path. His hand shook with the effort of holding his wand pointed in her direction, his veins pulsing and burning as a sweat began to break out across his forehead. He didn’t want to know the details, and yet his head was taking him there, imagining her moaning Prewett’s name while her cheeks flushed pink with her pleasure. It was a torment, a nightmare sent to rip his rational mind into tatters.

The darkness offered to swallow his pain, a tempting cloak as he stared at her, shaking as he fought the rage that boiled in his chest. How easy it would be to let the dark curl around it all, envelope him completely and leave him a shadow of himself. Cast off the pain and rage, and succumb to the icy depths of the bleak and empty landscape of cold terror. He could become a weapon, unfeeling and uncaring, carving through this life intent on nothing but destruction. What point was there to anything without her?

The loneliness of it all yawned like a maw before his feet, just an easy reach to cast himself into the dark and leave behind everything else. Maybe it would be easier. He was just so tired of fighting, so tired of cradling the pain. Succumb and be done with it.

Other memories began to seep through the shadow, dragging him back away from the drop, flickers of candlelight and her soft smile. Her fingers swiping the tears from his cheeks as he sobbed in the cold of the Undercroft, the tremble of their bodies after they had given themselves to each other for the first time, the familiar and safe glances over their textbooks in the library… her laughter as he chased her across the beach near Feldcroft under a summer sun.

The roaring throb of his pulse in his ears mingled with the rapid fire of his heaving lungs. His feet were backing up, the scratch of the hedge branches caught against his jacket and hair as he all but sagged against the foliage. Hand shaking so hard, he had to grip his wand tightly to avoid dropping it, he felt as well as heard the harsh sob that left his mouth.

“You can’t love him,” he croaked, shaking his head.

“You can’t control everything, Sebastian,” she said, lowering her wand. “We are already bound by blood magic, you cannot seek to control how I feel towards others. I am not an object to master. I have a mind of my own.”

Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to deny what lay hidden in her words. She did love Prewett. He was losing her. He could feel her slipping through his fingers, and she was right. He couldn’t control it. The fate of continuous failure seemed to truly be embedded into his soul, and this, this would be his ultimate loss. His very reason for everything was scooped up and carried away in the arms of a white knight in Auror robes.

The old crone in the prison cell had choked on her own blood and spit, cackling at the notion of him losing her to another, the pain he had inflicted on her neither easing his agony or changing the fact. How many times would he lash out and try to smash something in his attempts to fix what was broken?

It was him. He was the broken one.

Aiming with wild abandon, he cast Confringo, the blast of fire erupting from his wand and scorching the hedge to the side of him as he cried out in a sound that was more agony than rage. The blaze caught, devouring the branches and leaves in a crackle of flame that seared his eyes against the darkness of the maze. The heat of it against his cheeks had him scrambling backwards, tipping sideways onto the dirt path.

“Sebastian!”

The fire began to spread, the pungent scent of scorched fir trees filling his nose as he leapt to his feet. He felt a hand grip his arm, pulling him backwards away from the chaos of his reckless fury, just as a blast of cool blue shot past him, banking the flames back with the power of her magic.

“You’re an idiot, Sebastian,” she muttered near his ear. “Get us the fuck out of here.”

Turning to meet her gaze, his eyes stinging from the fire and tears, the streaks of which coursed through the ash on his cheeks, he almost choked on his breath. “Us?”

Her hand gripped his arm tighter as she nodded. Just like that, a flicker, a glow like the light of gods ignited in his chest. Us. She wasn’t going to leave here without him. Clamping his hand firmly over hers where she held him, he focused his thoughts and felt the pull of Apparation take them away from the flames.

…*...

The opposite of heat and flame was cold and water. The expanse and depth of the limitless ocean. They hit the sand with a thump, their booted feet sliding on the softness and making them tumble over. He immediately braced himself, trying to avoid crushing her as they rolled on the sand, but he didn’t let her go. Her grunt of pain made him fight her flailing arms, pinning her to the beach as the cool freshness of salty air filled his lungs and the roar of the waves reached his ears.

She glared up at him, resisting his grip. “Get off,” she snapped.

“Are you hurt?” His eyes scanned over her, ignoring her command.

Her mouth tightened. “Only where it counts.”

It was like a knife of ice slicing through him, his eyes turning bleak as he looked down at her. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I never want to hurt you.”

She blinked rapidly, turning her head to the side as she glanced around them, taking in the wild and abandoned landscape that was the Scottish coastline. Her brow furrowed slightly. “Is this…this is Feldcroft.”

He sighed, head dipping as he fought down the anxiety that only this place could pull out of him. Of all the places in the world, he had brought her home, if that’s what he could still call this place.

“Why here?”

He met her gaze in the moonlight, the ebb and flow of the waves, the only sound in the vicinity. “I feel like we need to go back to the start,” he said, his voice tight and pained. “This place doesn’t just hold dark memories. It also gives me some of the best memories I own. Our memories. We can make amends, MC. Despite everything. I am yours in the end, so we need to find that path we once walked. Together.”

The silence stretched as he tried to calm the burning anger, steadying his breathing as he prepared to fight for her rather than against.

“Why her?” Lips trembling, MC sank back into the sand, her hair pooled around her head like a dark halo. “Why did you do it?”

Wincing at the question, he pushed up to his knees, one each side of her hips. He released her arms and put his hands to his face, scrubbing at his cheeks with his palms as he tried to find an answer for her. Luring Luella into his bed had been a means to an end, a devious way to keep her sweet and gain access to what he wanted. So very Slytherin of him, but at what expense? 

Looking down at MC he realised just how much he stood to lose for his selfishness and it twisted his heart painfully. All those nights he had tried to find sleep alone, clutching the amulet in his hands and desperately clinging to the memory of her face. Luella had eased that ache, she had made him forget, even if it had only been for a brief time.

“I was lonely,” he sighed, turning to look out at the heaving mass of the ocean, dark and restless and stretching out towards nothing. “All I cared about was getting my revenge, finding a way to stop Anne’s curse, and perhaps seek out some way of getting you out. The nights were the worst. I missed you so much it was like a physical ache. Luella was there. She was a key to getting in closer to Rookwood’s nest, and I…I was weak.”

The sting of tears returned and he wiped his sleeve across his eyes, shaking his head at the pathetic sound of his words.

“I want to fix it,” he said, his voice beginning to shake as he looked back down at her. She was utterly still, her eyes locked on him as she listened. “I want to be forgiven, but I know that’s not something I can force or control. But, I promise you, I only want you. You are all I have ever wanted. When I arrived at your cell door and you were gone, I felt like you had been ripped away from me like that night when Harrington came for you. I can’t do that…I can’t lose you again. I will do anything to put this right.”

“Oh, fuck,” she sighed, her eyes closing as she brought her hands together as if in prayer. She held them against her mouth, her breathing shaky. “You can’t look at me like that, Sebastian, not with those big, bloody, brown eyes of yours.”

“That depends. Is it working?”

She sighed harshly and frowned, covering her face with her hands. He was pushing his luck and he knew it. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered again, that flicker of hope in his chest striving to remain alight.

When she opened her eyes and looked up at him, her gaze still had the power to rob him of breath, his lungs tightening as she sat up, her face tilting towards his.

“I’m sorry, too,” she said softly, her fingers reaching up to brush back the wild tumble of his hair. Such a gentle touch, yet it made him shiver, goosebumps spreading along his arms.

It felt like a tightrope that they were balanced on, alone here on the beach with only themselves to contend with. Laid bare, vulnerable. He wondered what she was sorry for, perhaps laying in Prewett’s bed or for loving him. Sebastian felt cold fear seep through his bones as the possibility emerged that she could be sorry about having to leave him, despite his plea to try and fix this mess. 

Unable to stop himself, his hands cupped her face, his fingertips seeking out the delicate bones of cheek and jaw. “I love you,” he whispered, the words a ghostly plea in the dark.

Her hand slid deeper into his hair, pulling him down towards her, and then her mouth collided with his, making him breath in sharply through his nose as her softness enveloped him. Grunting at the urgent pull of his hair, his arms encircled her immediately, crushing her against his chest as he kissed her back with a fierceness that made his blood hotter than any urge to betray his bond. 

The taste of her obliterated all else as he took advantage of her parted lips, kissing her so deeply as though starved, and maybe he was. The scales of rage and passion swung wildly, one flame consuming the other until it flared with white heat. His hands roamed down her back, seeking the curve of waist and hip, relearning the shape of her under his palms. That ache that lived in his chest sharpened, chasing back the shadows and dragging him screaming into the light of the moon, into the light only she could give him. It felt like belonging, so perfect, so right. 

When she pulled back from him, he moaned in protest, urging her closer as they both breathed harshly. She whispered his name, her hands still on him as she studied his face with heavily lidded eyes. He still had a hold on her. It was in her flushed cheeks and blown out gaze, the seeking caress of her hand through his hair.

“This is so confusing,” she said, her brows drawing together as if pained. “I don’t know what to do.”

His fingers ghosted against her cheek, his thumb lovingly stroking the damp fullness of her lower lip. “Stay,” he begged. “Stay till the morning.”

“I can’t,” she breathed, closing her eyes, leaning in to his touch. 

He pressed gentle kisses around the edge of her mouth, watching her through his lashes as she shivered, her lips parting with ragged breaths. He sucked gently on her lower lip, trailing his tongue with aching slowness, watching her reactions all the while, stroking her back with long, easing caresses.

“Stay with me,” he repeated, his words breathed into her mouth before he claimed another long kiss. He could feel her melting, sense the pull of longing that might just keep her here with him. So strong was his desire to keep her right here, he felt all his willpower flow out of him, resorting to begging to keep that warmth in his arms. “I just want you close, that’s all. I need to feel you there. I have longed for this…please.”

“Yes,” she whispered, nodding as he pressed his forehead to hers. Elation swelled in his chest as he held her close, his eyes closing in utter relief. “I’ll stay with you.”

MC

Standing side by side, hands clasped, MC and Sebastian stared at the headstone, the weeds of the garden beginning to stake their claim over Solomon’s resting place. It felt surreal to stand here before it after everything that had passed, reading the name of the man who sent her behind bars with his death and Anne’s cunning, a man who had signed her over to a children’s home when she had been a toddler. Seeing Solomon’s grave was a reminder of why she had sought Sebastian out in the first place and her anxiety swelled.

“I’ve not been back here in years,” Sebastian said tightly, his thumb tracing circles against her hand. “It’s just too hard.”

“Why now?” She turned her head to look at him, watching the way the breeze tugged at his mop of hair, locks of it tumbling forward over his forehead.

He squeezed her hand. “You,” he said, turning dark eyes her way, eyes that were always her undoing. “I can do it with you beside me.”

Heart twisting, she couldn’t deny the doubt that lingered as they entered the cottage that had been Sebastian’s home. The blend of emotions she carried left her feeling drained and exhausted, her limbs heavy as they removed the dust sheets from the furniture and lit the fire. A search of the cupboards turned up a bottle of spiced rum and some old potions that looked past their prime. Dusting of the bottle of rum, Sebastian opened it and took a swig, wincing and coughing as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He held the bottle out to her. “Here, it’s strong and will take the edge off.” 

The air was loaded with tension, her doubt making her eye the door and consider leaving. There was a Floo in the hamlet. She could go back to London and Leander. Swallowing the rum down, she winced at the burn, remembering the feel of Sebastian’s kiss, his hands on her body. The craving had overcome all else, her resolve weakening under that irresistible pull that only he had. Despite the fury and the envy, she had pressed her mouth to his as though staking her claim. 

It was all too easy to succumb to her desire for him, with that she had always been weak, but the matter of trust was another beast entirely. As much as she longed to believe in him again, she held back behind her barriers and kept her heart in a jar of glass with the lid tightened. She may have agreed to stay with him until the morning, but this was by no means fixed.

With no food, they sipped from the rum bottle and made up the bed. Her eyes meeting with him as memories flooded her thoughts, summer nights spent entangled with each other, naked and lost in their own little world. It made her chest hurt to remember how she had been torn from him, the agony of that night returning as he put out the lamp and removed his jacket. 

“Maybe we shouldn’t have come here,” she said, hesitating about removing her own clothing. Her throat felt thick, restricted, and she tucked her hair behind her ears as she fought against the anxiety.

His hands smoothed down her arms, his eyes dark and soft as he looked at her. “Believe me, I can’t believe I’m here either, but as I said on the beach, I want to remember the good things we found here. I want you to remember what it felt like for us here before…”

She closed her eyes, fighting back the shadows of the past. She felt his lips on her nose, pressing soft kisses on her cheek before holding her close. His scent filled her up, the thick press of his arms enveloping her in a cocoon of warmth that she couldn’t help but lean into. 

Guilt twisted her stomach and she tensed, Leander on her mind, easing out of his embrace as she dipped her gaze towards the bed. “We should try and get some sleep. I don’t know about you, but I’m shattered.”

Removing her boots and jacket, MC kept her clothes on as she lay down on the bed, Sebastian removing everything but his shirt and undershorts, opening his collar before laying beside her. Turning to face her, he gathered her into his arms, pressing a kiss to her head before smiling softly.

“Finally,” he murmured. 

The reflection of the crackling fire danced in his eyes, his unruly hair dark against the white pillow. The sheets were a bit musty from being in storage, but the intoxicating scent that was Sebastian held her attention more than anything else. 

“Won’t you be missed?” She asked, trying not to think about the press of his thick thighs against hers. 

“No,” he said, stroking her hair. “Rosier will cover me, and besides, this is where I want to be. I don’t care what they say.” 

“And Luella? She clearly didn’t want you to leave with me.”

He shook his head, his fingers curling through her hair. “Then she is going to be disappointed. I made no promises to her, and I have no desire to be with her. She needs to accept that.”

Lowering her gaze, MC bit her lip, knowing that in London, Leander would be likely thinking of her. He wouldn't want her to be here with Sebastian either. Lying here beside him, letting him hold her, it made the guilt tear through her. How tangled their paths had become, swiftly moving streams that linked and flowed around each other, and it was hard to choose the right course. MC felt caught in the tide, her arms seemingly reaching out to grasp at something to keep her steady, but which bough would be the best choice? 

As Sebastian sought her lips, kissing her softly, she felt her barriers weakening, and she couldn’t let that happen. She knew how dangerously slippery this slope could be, her body so in tune with his that it was already calling for him. Bringing her hand up between them, she pressed her fingertips to his mouth to halt him, their eyes so close she could almost feel the burn of his gaze. 

“I’m here, and I will stay, but this doesn’t mean that everything is fixed,” she said softly, focusing on the steady intake of her breaths. “It will take time, Sebastian. I hope you understand that.”

“Is this because of Prewett?”

She winced slightly, his grip tightening subtly in her hair. “No. This is about learning to trust you again.”

“Can I trust you?” He asked, his eyes dark and brooding. “You are here with me now, but how do I know that you won’t crawl back into his bed once you leave here?”

She met his gaze, the pointed question slamming into her like a rock, because the thought of making a clean cut from Leander actually made her pause and think. The slow patching up of her wounded soul had been rooted in the gentle affection Leander had bestowed upon her, and to rip away from that would likely tear at the fragile healing she was still going through.

“I guess we both need to take a chance if we are ever going to work,” she said carefully. “Like I said, this is going to take some time.”

“That wasn’t a no,” he said, his mouth tightening. 

Swallowing down her apprehension, she leaned to press a kiss to his cheek, unable to summon the will to fight this out right now. “Goodnight, Sebastian.” 

….*….

It wasn’t quite dawn, the fire long since burned low, and a chill had settled over the cottage. Sitting empty for so long, the damp had encroached, and the house no longer held any of that cosy charm it once had. Sebastian was asleep, his lashes dark and thick against his freckled cheekbones, his hair a riot of tumbled locks. It needed cutting, and there was enough growth on his jaw to almost be a beard. He was a man now, no longer the damaged boy she had first fallen for.

Taking a moment in the dead of night to study him while he slept felt like a luxury after the years spent yearning for him in the thick dark of Azkaban. She still felt like a pinch on her arm would wake her up, and all of this would turn out to be a fever dream, and she would still be in that cell, cold and alone.

Tears stained her cheeks, her eyes tight and aching from the silent crying she had been unable to stop as she lay staring up at the thatched worked ceiling. Sitting up with her arms wrapped around her knees, MC tried to process through the tangled mess of her feelings. It was impossible, none of it made sense, and it made her chest ache to think of losing either of these men who had snuck into her heart. For her own selfishness, she knew to stand without them would take a summoning of immense courage, and she feared she had lost some of that whilst drowning in the dark sorrow of Azkaban.

How to be whole again? 

Slipping quietly from the bed, she took out the secret message parchment and wrote to Leander, hoping he hadn’t lain awake all night waiting for her to come back. The tether of their bond was stronger than she would ever likely admit to anyone, and she hated the thought that she would be worrying him. Tapping her wand to her message, she watched the ink fade to nothing before she returned to the bed, taking a steadying breath before gently climbing back onto it.

Perhaps finding her mother would shine a light on things. Taking a look at her past, unravelling some truths and hoping they showed some clues for her future. Wiping the tears from her cheeks, she looked down at Sebastian, her hand drifting to gently stroke back a lock of hair from his forehead. He was so very beautiful. Beautiful and fractured, stumbling around in the dark like she was. 

Sliding down onto the mattress beside him, she dipped her hand beneath the blanket and found his, clasping it gently. He shifted in his sleep, eyelids fluttering, but he didn’t fully wake. Snuggling closer, MC closed her eyes as she leant her head against his chest to feel his heartbeat, her lips almost curving into a sad smile as his arm circled around her and pulled her closer. Lips pressed against her hair, his fingers squeezing her hand as though in reassurance. For her, or for himself, she wasn’t sure. 

Leander

The sun’s morning rays had crept across towards the bed, the glow of the golden haze that came from autumn filtered through the smog of London’s bustle and warmed the bed through the glass window. Leander had blinked his tired eyes and tried not to feel the vacant spot beside him in the bed. Waking up alone felt so hollow now. It was cold and quiet, the bed felt so big and empty without her warmth there beside him.

Dressed and drinking his morning tea, Leander unfolded his secret parchment and tapped his wand to it, putting down his tea cup as MC’s script appeared. 

I’m alright. Luella Rookwood clearly doesn’t like me, and I hope this doesn’t pose a problem. I am in Scotland, but I will be back in London soon. I will be in touch once I have faced Rookwood.

Stay safe, Lee, please. Sebastian knows. I’m sorry.

MC xx

Sebastian knows.

She was with him. There wasn’t even a glimmer of smug satisfaction to be found knowing that Sebastian was aware that he took MC to bed. If anything, it merely highlighted the point that she was in deep with the Slytherin, deeper than she probably even realised. He could imagine the way that conversation had gone down, but the lack of her return proved that in choice, she had stayed with Sallow. Clearly, those bridges were still fit for mending.

The office was busy, Aurors and researchers alike working to file reports on some raids that had taken place over night. Leander arrived at his desk and paused, staring in surprise at the blonde girl unpacking a box of personal items onto Odessa’s desk. Her sleek hair was twisted up into a neat knot, exposing the slender column of her neck, skin like porcelain, her movements suggesting grace and confidence as she placed a framed photograph before adjusting its position slightly.

On turning her attention back to her box, she glanced up at him, pausing as a smile spread across her face. Leander could only stand and stare, her smile lighting up her eyes and making them sparkle. “Oh, hello!” She said, brightly, her eyes shifting towards his desk as she stepped closer. “Tall, red hair, and impeccably dressed. You must be Auror Prewett.”

Apparently, he could neither confirm nor deny her observation, his lips parting as though to speak but no words actually forming. He felt the slow burn of his cheeks flushing pink, his hand nervously smoothing his tie as he couldn’t help but admire the slope of her nose. It was a very cute and pretty nose, rather fitting for her lovely face. As for her eyes, well, it was very difficult not to stare at them. Framed with dark lashes, they were a soft brown, large and captivating. There was something rather intriguing about them, in a fiesty and fun way.

“I’m Auror Montgomery,” she said, holding out a slender hand towards him. She grinned. “Gosh, that still sounds so formal and strange to say. Seeing as we are to be colleagues, perhaps it might be alright for you to call me Ivy. I certainly wouldn’t mind, but I suppose that all depends on how much of a stickler you are for the rules.”

Leander looked down at her hand, her cheerful words filtering through the haze of shy insecurity he suddenly felt himself under. “Ivy,” he said, slowly, his gaze returning to her face. 

Her smile seemed to lose some of its shine as she studied him, a crease of worry appearing on her brow, her arm going a little slack. “Oh no, have I been too informal already?” She cringed, moving to tuck hair behind her ear despite it being so effortlessly neat already. “I have been known to be a little too forward sometimes. Do forgive me. I was hoping to make a good first impression on my first day, especially to you.”

“Really? Why me?” Genuinely baffled, Leander tilted his head as he considered her more closely. She seemed to be not much younger than himself, bright eyed and keen. A new graduate by the sounds of it, a new Auror in their ranks, and taking the seat of one so recently deceased. 

“Am I not to be mentored by you, Auror Prewett?” She asked, turning to ruffle through her box of possessions and pulling out a rolled parchment. Unrolling it, she scanned the note and held it up. “I was told to report to Auror Harrington, which I have done, and then seek out my mentor for further instruction. Auror Harrington confirmed it would be you. You are Auror Prewett, aren’t you?”

His blush darkening even further, Leander looked to his intray on his desk, spying a similar roll of parchment issued by the Head Auror’s office and he winced. It wasn’t like him to slip up on his paperwork, and he cursed himself for allowing a certain ex-convict to distract him so thoroughly. 

“Forgive me, Auror Montgomery,” he said, finding his manners. He straightened his perfect tie and held out his hand. “Let’s start this again, shall we? I am, indeed, Auror Prewett. It’s lovely to meet you. Welcome to the office.”

Her smile of delight was so very warm, and she slipped her hand into his, shaking firmly despite her slender fingers being completely dwarfed by his grip. “A pleasure,” she said. “I can’t wait to get started.”

….*….

Sweating and out of breath, Leander pressed a towel to his face and glanced into the locker room mirror, noting the darker shadows under his eyes from too many late nights. Whilst he couldn’t regret his reasons, he felt the drain of tiredness pulling at him after that workout. He couldn’t afford to slack off. 

Gathering his things for a shower, he paused as Harrington entered the locker room, robe billowing as he strode towards him.

“There you are, Prewett,” he greeted, nodding once as he came to a pause. “I was hoping to catch you. Have you met our new recruit?”

“Auror Montgomery? Yes, I have. She introduced herself this morning.”

Harrington nodded, pleased. “Excellent. She is a promising young thing, excellent grades, and plenty of ambition. She comes from a good family, too. I think she will be an asset to the team, and that’s why I thought she could shadow you for a while.”

“It would be an honour,” Leander said. “I take it she will be on the Ashwinder case with us?” 

Harrington nodded, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Yes, I thought it would be best to place a fresh face in McKinnon’s seat. A new start, so to speak.”

Harrington hesitated, giving Leander a careful look. “A snitch on the team is always bad for morale, and I know you were disappointed, to say the least. I also warned you about the emotional downfalls of this case, and I couldn’t help but notice how familiar our little prisoner had become with you. I hope you are being careful, Prewett.”

Leander felt his cheeks warm and he shifted position, clutching his towel and shower things a little tighter. “I’m just trying to do the right thing,” he said, lifting his chin in an attempt at confidence. “I won’t deny it can be difficult, but I understand the job.”

“Just so long as you do,” Harrington warned, placing a heavy hand on his shoulder. “You’re a fine Auror, Prewett. Don’t let one girl mess that up for you. Taking young Montgomery on field work with you will hopefully remind you about your responsibilities, and being her role model will pay off handsomely in the end.”

Leander wondered how transparent his emotions really were on his face for Harrington to have noticed how much MC had gotten under his skin. So, the new recruit had been placed to distract him, to give him a focus other than their ex convict turned spy. With Montgomery hanging around all the time, there would be less opportunity for him and MC to be alone. Especially if she ceased coming to the flat at night. 

“Message received,” he said carefully, his pulse firing rapidly as he thought of all the rule breaking he had been indulging in of late. “I shall aim to be the best of role models.”

“Good man,” Harrington smiled, clapping his shoulder firmly before turning for the door. “Oh, and some of us are heading to the Cauldron for a few beers this evening. You should come along. Perhaps invite your new partner?”

Harrington’s eyebrows twitched suggestively and he grinned before exiting the changing rooms. Leander watched him leave, sighing as the door closed and pressing a hand to his forehead, fingers pinching slightly in pained anxiety.

Auror Montgomery was a very pretty young lady, of course, but his whole body and soul burned for MC. The suggestion that he could turn his affections towards another seemed impossible. He didn’t think he could handle the trappings of it all, his emotions stretched to the limit already. Perhaps he would merely suggest the drinks meet up to Montgomery as a group activity rather than cordially invite her as his guest. It wouldn’t do to start off on the wrong foot, after all. 

Sebastian

The return to London had been a dismal one, the skies overcast and the breeze carrying a damp drizzle that seemed to seep into one’s bones. Despite the weather, he felt surprisingly rested considering he had slept in that cold cottage last night. Perhaps the word ‘slept’ was the key factor in things, for he had indeed slept rather well. Glancing beside him at MC, smirking at the way her nose was slightly wrinkled against the tickle of the rain, he knew she was the reason for his deeper rest. Despite the lingering tension over Prewett and Luella, she was still with him, and he almost dared to believe that he could glimpse a hint of something promising in her eyes when they lingered on him. Even if she did skip her gaze hastily away when she caught him staring back.

“Does he always keep you waiting like this?” She grumbled, her head glancing up and down the lake’s edge as she rubbed her hands together. She seemed tense, on edge, but had refused to give a solid reason to explain her request for this meeting. He had the distinct feeling that it was a lot more than just missing an old friend that had made her ask for the owl to be sent first thing this morning.

“You know Ominis,” he smirked. “He is a law unto himself.”

She scoffed, eyeing him in disbelief. “That is rich, coming from you.”

His smirk widened and he pulled the collar up a bit higher on his jacket against the damp. “He will be along, don’t worry. He is a busy man you know, and we did send the owl rather short notice.”

She began to pace again, twisting her hands, her eyes dark and wary as she scanned the London park for any sign of their fellow Slytherin. “I just need to see him.”

“You never really said what it was about,” he probed, head tilting curiously.

Her eyes flicked his way and she seemed to curl in on herself, her teeth pulling at her lip. His eyes narrowed, his brow creasing in thought as he watched her. Something was afoot here, something was bothering her, and he had the strange feeling that it was something about these birth records Prewett had given her. Last night in the maze she had started to talk about it before closing up, the conversation turning to subjects much more volatile, their attention focused on the chaos of their relationship.

“It’s complicated,” she muttered, wrapping her arms around herself. “I need to ask him a favour.”

“Complicated, you say? Hmm, I do like a challenge,” he said, stepping towards her.

She looked up as he approached, her throat working nervously as he gently cupped her face. He’d always loved intense eye contact with her, he sought it as much as possible, yearned for it even. Even now under the miserable clouds of London, her eyes darkened, the depths expanding to let him in and he savoured the sight, his thumb teasing at her chilled cheek.

“Perhaps I can help,” he whispered. Her soft lips parted and he lowered his face, hungry to taste what he craved, but the distinct tap of a cane and the clearing of a throat interrupted their moment.

“Ominis,” she said, turning from him, stepping out from his touch and heading towards their old friend.

Impeccably presented in expensive black robes, his blonde hair swept fashionably back, Ominis stood proudly under a black umbrella. The epitome of an English gentleman. His head bowed slightly, his lips curving with a hint of pleasure as MC stepped up before him, his eyes shifting from side to side as he subtly aimed his cane in order to seek her out.

“We meet again, my dear,” he greeted. “When Sebastian said you wished to meet with me, I couldn’t help but be curious. The last we spoke, you seemed rather set on your goal. I trust things are running smoothly, despite your obvious proximity to the lord of chaos over here.”

Sebastian frowned as he joined them, hands flexing. “You’re not funny.”

Ominis twisted his mouth in amusement. “Oh, I don’t know. If the cap fits, and all that.”

“I’m still set on my goal, Ominis, and I heeded your words,” MC said, her face rather earnest as she stared at him. “However, this meeting is for another matter entirely. You see, I need your help with something. Something…personal.”

Sebastian stilled, noticing how intently MC was staring at Ominis, free to study him without worry of being caught. Her eyes held a fascination that burned vividly, and if he hadn’t known her better, he might have thought to be envious of the rapt attention she had focused on him.

“Oh? This sounds interesting. How may I be of service, my dear? It must be quite something to haul me out into this awful weather.”

“I’m looking for someone,” she said, her hands twisting together again, a flush staining her cheeks. “You are the only person I can ask this of, Ominis, and I am placing all of my hope onto the possibility that you can help me.”

Something icy began to trickle down Sebastian’s spine, a thick and choking realisation of where this could be headed. He looked at Ominis, saw the curious tilt of his head, and then turned to the anxious plea on MC’s face.

“I see. Well, who are you looking for?”

MC took a steadying breath, and to Sebastian’s surprise, her shaking hand reached out for him, her fingers like ice as she grasped hold of his hand. He wrapped his hand firmly around hers, waiting for the next words out of her mouth.

“I’m looking for Elizabeth Gaunt,” she said, her voice so strained it was breathless.

Sebastian felt the quickening of his pulse, his ears roaring in the silence that followed that name. Ominis went rigid, whatever colour he had in his porcelain complexion faded to a waxy white, his mouth parting in stunned disbelief. 

Looking at MC, Sebastian could see the tears welling in her eyes, the savage grip she held on his hand conveying the stress she must have been feeling in that moment. The shocking realisation swept through him and he stared at her with new eyes. She couldn’t be…

Ominis made a choking sound, clearing his throat as his hand gripped his cane with tight control. “And why would you be looking for her?”

“You do know her, then?” MC asked, hope flaring in her eyes. “She is a close relative of yours?”

“She is my aunt,” Ominis said tightly, his face ashen, a muscle twitching in his jaw. “My estranged aunt, I might add. None of us have seen her for many years. What do you want with her?”

A tear escaped and rolled down MC’s cheek, her lips trembling as she stared at Ominis. “Elizabeth Gaunt is my birth mother,” she said, her voice wobbling dangerously. Sebastian gave her hand a squeeze, his other arm swiftly wrapping around her waist as she swayed. “If she is your aunt, then…then that means we are cousins.”

Ominis staggered slightly, his head shaking in denial, a shocked gasp escaping his lips as he began to back up away from them. MC was shaking in Sebastian’s arms, and he held her up, her knees caving as the tears flowed freely down her cheeks, shuddering at the look on Ominis’ face.

“No…that’s impossible…” Ominis muttered, a gloved hand pressing to his mouth. “The only child Aunt Elizabeth ever had died. The child died when she was a baby…”

MC sobbed and Sebastian held her against him, trying to grasp this information himself as he turned a pleading look towards his shaken friend. “Ominis, please,” he said.

“Don’t plead with me,” Ominis snapped, his mouth tightening. “Did you know about this? Where in Merlin’s name did you get this information?”

MC dug into her pocket and retrieved a file, holding it up with a shaking hand. Sebastian took it from her, trying to look reassuring as he pressed a kiss to her head, whilst his mind and heart raced with a million thoughts and feelings. Opening the file, he needed to see this with his own eyes, the inked words confirming the birth record for MC.

“MC has a document from Ministry archives recording her birth,” Sebastian said, maintaining control over his voice as he tried to make sense of it all. “Here, you can check for yourself. It says she was born to Elizabeth Gaunt and a man named William.”

“William Brierley,” Ominis choked, shaking his head. He took the parchment file, daring to slip his wand free in order to read it. “Gods…”

“You know of him? So, it’s true,” MC sobbed, staring at Ominis. “You’re really my family.”

Ominis turned away from them, pacing on the path as he gathered himself, rechecking the evidence he held in his hand. The rain fell softly around them, but none of them paid much heed to it any more, their minds too full of what was unfolding between them. Sebastian held MC in his embrace, soothing a hand against her head as she trembled, crying freely now. When she looked up at him, the fear in her eyes staggered him. 

“He hates the very idea of it,” she rasped painfully, wincing.

“Give him a moment, MC,” he urged, his chest tight with worry. “Let him process it. I’m in need of a moment myself.”

“Do you hate the thought of me being a Gaunt, too?” 

He stared at her, tears and raindrops dripping from her pale face, her dark hair hanging limply in the cold breeze. He couldn’t help scanning her features, searching for any resemblances he may have missed before, but all he could see was the face of the girl he loved. It mattered not what blood flowed through her veins, a daughter of Slytherin, a witch most powerful and utterly beautiful.

“I could never hate you,” he promised, shaking his head. “So, you’re a Gaunt. I already love one member of that gods forsaken family, perhaps I was destined to love another.”

Sagging against him in relief, she buried her face into him, his arms holding her tight as he glanced across towards Ominis. He seemed to have gathered himself, and he turned, cane angled so he could move towards them. Slowly, he reached out, his fingers gently seeking out MC. Touching her shoulder, he grasped it, and she looked up at him.

“So, cousin,” he said, his pale ethereal eyes shining with unshed tears. “May I call you that?”

As she whimpered, Ominis appeared to reach for her, and Sebastian manoeuvred her into his embrace. Ominis usually wasn’t one for too much physical interaction, so to see him like this pulled at heartstrings in Sebastian’s chest. At Ominis’ gesture, he moved closer to them, joining the embrace so that the three of them stood together, wrapped in each other’s arms. It reminded him of that terrible day when they had discovered Slytherin’s Scriptorium, the dark terror of having to inflict pain in order to survive had bonded the three of them in ways that nobody else would ever understand. They had held each other like this that night, bound by the horror, the secrecy, the shared pain of their memories.

Now, they were bound by something even deeper. They were family, and once again, he felt certain that nobody else would understand it.

Ominis held the birth record, and Sebastian took it, looking down to read the truth of MC’s bloodline again. Realising there was another parchment tucked behind it, he turned the paper over, a curious frown dipping over his brow as he read the details of the orphanage she had grown up in. 

As his eyes read the details quickly, Sebastian felt his blood freeze in his veins when they landed on a name that was all too familiar to him. His lungs screamed for air, but it was as though his mind had forgotten how to control his basic bodily needs. He stared and stared until the name and signature blurred out of reality. No wonder she had asked him if he knew about her mother, if he had known who she was all along.

“What is it?” Ominis asked, frowning in his direction. “I felt you tense.”

Blinking through his shock, Sebastian stared at MC, barely managing to draw the breath required to speak. “MC, why is Uncle Solomon’s name on your orphan paperwork?”

Turning her head slowly to look at him, her eyes dark and pained, she fixed him with a look that made him shiver. “I was hoping you would be able to tell me,” she said.

Fate, it seemed, enjoyed kicking the shit out of him far too much.

To be continued...

Ivy Montgomery is an OC character created and owned by @eternalremorse Used with her kind permission 💜

Taglist: @eternalremorse @slytherin-paramour @evaslytherpuff @marketfreshfics @writing-intheundercroft @sevprince-91 @loving-him-was-red13

[murfpersonalblog]

WOW | Interview With The Vampire 1x6 | Reaction & Commentary - FrankFreezy

I nearly burst into tears when Frank said this bit (13:26 - 17:02):

So as you guys know I love this show so much, and part of the reasons is the conversations that can come out of it. Especially around things with relationships, trauma, abuse--and all these things.... These are real things we'll deal with: real world relationships with power dynamics and hella hella hella abuse and stuff like that. 

And I think as the season has gone on, I think I've gotten to the point where like.... I've always looked at all these things with a sensitive lens, cuz YES they're vampires and they're supposed to be monsters and stuff like that. And it should be enjoyed for that. 

But I can't help think about someone watching this, being in the same situation...or who have been in the same circumstances with a partner; either the abuser or the one being abused. 

And them watching my reactions to this, and I'm making a joke. About abuse. Or not taking it serious. And what that person might feel watching that. 

Not saying I can't have my opinions, or nor caring about what people think. 

But some of these things are like just way too sensitive; and sometimes I feel like that conversation should be treated with some respect.

Cuz something I heard some people saying when it comes to Lestat was: When it comes to trauma and this and that; and it's so valid, but at the same time two things can be right at once. 

Do I despise [Lestat] for all the things he's directly and indirectly done to Louis and Claudia? HELL YES! 

Do I also understand, and acknowledge, what might have happened to [Lestat] that I do not know? That brings him to this point? ALSO yes--two things can be right at once. 

We’ve got to call it thing a thing sometimes. 

And...watching these couple of scenes, and seeing the attempts [Lestat’s] making to apologize or come back? And the previous scene of Louis saying [Lestat] left after that night because of an overwhelming amount of shame of what he just did.... I see he's trying. But at the same time I'm like....

Take the vampirism away. People do this in real life, and I fear the way some people view these things might be the way they view that in real life: excusing stuff, not acknowledging stuff, not calling people out when it's the right time to call them out, not being accountable for why we feel certain ways about these characters...and why we don't.

Sometimes it's hard for me to separate this from real life, especially when I have friends, I have family, personally, who have been through abusive stuff like that. 

So yes, there's going to be some bias when I'm talking about some of these things--that might not be too pleasant for the character. But that's just cuz this is real.  

Like, I'm giving you guys my reaction, and that comes with my own thoughts, and stuff from my own life, and my own experiences; and what I've seen and learned--and still learning, and still being open to learn. 

Yeah, it's been on my mind a lot. This show has been on my mind a lot.

This man frikkin GETS IT.

[davenweenie]

Things I would have done if I had created the show ‘Lab Rats’

FTM trans Chase (obvi)

Autistic Leo and Chase

ADHD Adam and Bree

Brought more focus onto why Donald Davenport was a shitty dad, maybe has character development where he realised how bad he actually was.

Douglas would still be evil but his motives would have been slightly different, he’s hiding under the guise of trying to take power over the world when he actually just wants his kids back.

Trans Douglas, hello????

Trans Douglas who used a donor to have Adam, Bree and Chase (makes more sense than him using a random AFAB person tbh)

Explore how the Rats’ bionics actually work, where they actually have their bionics, how they were implanted, if there were any failed subjects etc

Bree would originally be a tomboy who wants to explore her girlhood but has never had the chance to due to being so sheltered and only raised around boys and raised by a man

She slowly started exploring girlhood, Tasha helps by showing her media that heavily features women, they have a shopping trip where Tasha helps her pick out new outfits

Bree slowly transitions into being a more ‘girly’ girl when she discovers how much she actually enjoys doing and wearing what is traditionally considered more feminine

Chase struggling when they all integrate into the real world, he struggles with his masculinity and how the world views him since things were so much easier when it was just him, his two siblings and their pseudo father

Chase’s insane sensory issues, I’d like to believe he walks around constantly wearing a pair of noise cancelling headphones that Leo let him have

They eventually make him some bionic versions which help block out most noises since his super hearing is too strong for normal noise cancelling headphones

He looks a lil silly but they help, so he continues to wear them on days where he’s really struggling

Adam struggling in school, he cannot function well during school, he’s always frustrated in class because he just can’t retain any of the information and he zones out too much to even focus properly

Chase tries to help by tutoring him but Adam can’t focus long enough for it to have an affect

Chase researches ways to help Adam retain information and figures out that playing catch with Adam helps, the action of tossing and catching a ball occupies his hands as well as keeps his brain in gear enough to focus on the information given to him

Leo having meltdowns during the whole Marcus situation. He hates being accused of lying or accused of doing stuff that he didn’t do. He also hates people not believing him so the whole situation overwhelms him and he ends up having a meltdown practically every day.

Exploring how Trent’s bullying has affected Leo and Chase, how they’re terrified to step foot into school some days in fear of what Trent will do that day

Tasha being completely mortified at the way the Rats were raised, demanding that Donald treat them like kids rather than a science experiment

She considers divorcing him at first but she knows she needs to be there for the kids. They eventually work out their relationship and Donald begins to change he treats the Rats, he’s probably only changing because of Tasha though

Big reveal on why Donald is the way he is towards the kids, they’re not his kids and they’re his brother’s who he doesn’t have a good relationship with, he takes it out on the kids because his brother isn’t there to take his anger out on

The Rats being mad at Donald, huge argument scene where they finally stand up for themselves and tell him that having a poor relationship with his brother was no excuse to treat them the way he did, they were just kids who didn’t have any involvement in their sibling rivalry

Donald becomes a cool uncle rather than extremely strict and controlling father. Douglas becomes more like a cool dad than a cool uncle, he’s too irresponsible to have full control of the decision making so him, Donald and Tasha kinda just Co-parent.

Leo gets full bionics, not just in his leg and arm. He has to train as a student at the academy first but later becomes a teacher like Adam, Bree and Chase.

Bree and Chase still go on to be in the EF but it’s only brief while they handle the whole shapeshifter thing before they go back to the academy. Oliver, Skylar and Kaz go with them. They’re still a team that do missions together but they just live at the academy now.

This was very self indulgent, I hope you like it. Thanks for reading and I’ll probably make more of these. This was fun!

[turbulentscrawl]

Alva Lorenz General HCs

You'll have for forgive me for any typos--this man's been on my mind for two days and I have to get these out. I'm too impatient to check everything hahah

-Alva did not actually betray Luca by passing off any pf Herman’s work as his own. Though he did always maintain some interest in the concept of a perpetual motion machine, Alva didn’t dedicate much time to working on it after Herman’s death. He did, however, start the fire which killed Herman in an outburst-fueled accident similar to how Luca later killed him. Alva, however, escaped suspicion of the event and was not legally punished.

-Alva knew Herman had a son and, though he never personally met Herman’s family, knew who Luca was through grapevine rumors. He agreed to take Luca on as his student partially out of guilt for his unexposed crime, and partially because he had no children of his own and quickly felt a certain parental urge for Luca. They shared a lot in common and got on very well, very quickly, and their relationship was great right up until the accident. The documentation that seems to indicate their relationship deteriorating is coincidental. (ex, Luca’s experiments slowly transitioning from both he and Alva signing off on them to just Luca was Alva giving Luca more independence because he trusted him, rather than them growing apart or secretive.)

-I think Alva may be autistic. He doesn’t require much in the way of accommodations, and he doesn’t have the sensory issues that Aesop does. However, his speech is sometimes overly flat, his view of the world a bit rigid, his social energy levels are low, he’s prone to bouts of depression, he fixates on his work a lot, and he often fidgets with things like pens and clothes. He enjoys touching various textures, and often expresses appreciation for the material of people’s clothes. Additionally, he’s made a living out of his special interest: inventive engineering.

-Alva is a solemn and polite man. He’s rather chivalrous, but reserved, and as a result was admired by many for his mysterious-gentleman air. “Hermit” is an apt name for Alva, however, as he rarely enjoyed the company of others. He especially felt overwhelmed in large groups. He has always preferred one-on-one socializing, and even that he had a smaller tolerance for than was typical for men of his class. Luckily, he doesn’t have much in the way of a temperament, so when he’s tired of socializing, he’s just that: tired. Sexy Old man.

-To specify, when I say chivalrous, I mean he’s the kind of man who holds doors open for others, offers his hand to help them up from a seat or down from some height, share his umbrella in the rain, and would even lay his coat in a puddle for a lady to cross over. He offers chivalry moreso to women than men, but if a man presents as meek or shy enough in his presence he will extend the gestures to them as well, hoping to make them feel more comfortable.

-Alva’s only family at the time of his death was his wife. She was barren, and they had no children, and all the rest of his family had passed due to age or illness. Luca therefore became something of a surrogate son to Alva over the years. Though he sometimes struggled to show it, Alva cared for him like blood and always looked out for him.

-Alva didn’t care much about his overall predicament, after being resurrected. His religious proclivities were more for show than anything, so being a chosen of some…eldritch-cat-god is hardly the worst of his concerns. Until the manor, he hadn’t been expected to do anything he considered reprehensible or very immoral, so he’s always been fine with just completing his orders so he could go back to his work.

-After joining the manor, Alva’s only real comfort is his work. In life, inventive engineering was his method of self-expression, the way he interacted with the world, his reason for living. That changed a bit when his wife came along, and then again for Luca, but with those gone he’s back to his reclusive nature. It takes a long time for Alva to make friendships in the manor. He’s familiar with Ann out of necessity, but they’re merely cordial. With time, he becomes friendly with a small handful of others, but his melancholy is still pervasive.

-Inevitably, with enough time at the manor, Alva craves reconciliation with Luca. He doesn’t entirely blame Luca for what happened. At the end of everything, Alva knows the accident was an accident as well as a misunderstanding. (And also probably some kind of ironic, cosmic retribution for him killing Herman.) The trouble is, Luca does not remember him at all, or what happened. He knows from a few conversations that the boy’s cleverness is still in-tact, but his memories are almost entirely gone. As far as Alva is concerned, this means he’ll never get the closure of genuine, mutual apologies, and he’ll never have his “son” back. Not really.

-When Luca was his student, they were a powerful duo in public. Alva, despite being respectful and courteous to individuals, has never ‘jived’ with society as a whole. He doesn’t care about public opinion and is easily exhausted from public exposure. Luca, meanwhile, is a social butterfly. They were both charming, and worked out a system for any public appearances Alva needed to make: Luca would handle most of the talking—unless Alva’s interest was specifically sparked by some topic of conversation—so Alva could do his best to actually enjoy the atmosphere. And when Luca was ready to go, you best believe Alva was ready with their excuse to bail. The two were always favorites at any party or event, and always had interested suitors close at their heels.

-Despite being overwhelmed by conversation and crowds, Alva does enjoy the set-up for a lot of public events and parties. He likes the artfulness of decoration, and always takes time to appreciate the hard work put into setting up things like that (and once again, he loves to touch, feels the textures). He especially loves flowers. He occasionally finds loud music to be a bit overstimulating. Similarly, he likes fireworks, but requires earplugs to enjoy them fully.

-Alva’s age (at time of death) was somewhere between 40-45. His undead body is no longer aging, so physically he’s the same. Sometimes Alva misses his longer hair, but unfortunately that’s not growing anymore.