#as I've said before re: tile

[elephantbitterhead]

One of my favorite things about working on any DIY project is reading the absolutely deranged statements people try to pass off as design advice. Like this: No matter how much time you plan to spend in your kitchen, you should never lose sight of the fact that it’s a room based around food. One subtle but important fact related to this is that colour schemes based around blue are risky – there are few blue foods in nature, and studies have been shown that this particular colour is an effective appetite suppressant! Combine this with the somewhat sterile appearance of blue colours under many types of lighting, and it’s perhaps best to leave blue as a highlight or contrast shade rather than as the foundation colour.

This kind of 'guidance' -- opinions disguised as objective rules -- makes me want to adopt what it's forbidding, even if I didn't want it before. Can you imagine wanting a blue kitchen & rejecting it on the basis of this borderline haruspicy? As if your design choices are in any way related to the color(s) of food you might prepare. Cruelly consigned to a life of cauliflower, mashed potatoes, and hardboiled eggs by my belligerent white kitchen. I don't see anyone saying that about those pastel-ish reds that are currently so popular -- good luck finding a food that color. Raw red meat, perhaps. What nonsense.

[bunnys-kisses]

bark, bark, bark

hybrid!john "soap" mactavish

cw: hybrid!au, smut/pwp, heat/rut, breeding, pregnancy, enemies-to-lovers, dog!reader, dog!john, owner!simon, doggy style filth

bunny says: like the fic? leave a comment! really love the fic? request your own!

"well, aren't ya just a dream." john said as he sat at the kitchen table. his tail swayed from side to side as he looked at you.

you were standing close to your new owner, simon riley. you had a pretty pink collar on and your ears were flat against your head. your arms were crossed and you looked annoyed.

john or 'soap' as simon called him, was a dog. as were you. while your breed was defined and regal. you were certain that simon found john behind a dumpster of a fish n' chips place. but you'd have to get along with your fellow hybrid if you didn't want to end up being re-homed.

john just thought you were perfect, but in as sneering kind of way. almost mocking as he pulled at your floppy ears and your hair. he even got you by the collar once and brought you to the tiled floor of the farmhouse the three of you lived in.

you'd often yip and growl at one another in the living room as you fought over the remote. which often left you both scolded by your owner. if you were on your knees one last time in front of simon while the larger man wagged a finger at you, you were going to put the mutt's throat between your teeth and clamp down.

but then it happened. something you had dreaded, you thought at least simon would've gotten you some birth control shots before you heat took over. you felt some embarrassed, like a fucking idiot because you were leaking all over the bed you slept in.

hybrids slept in beds like any other human, but while simon kept his minimal. yours was covered in all manners of pillows and stuffed animals. which gave you ample room to find something to put between your legs. you covered your mouth with your head as you got on your knees with the pillow between your legs.

you rutted against it, hoping that the fabric would catch your clit through your shorts. you whimpered a little but tightened your hand across your mouth. you hoped that john didn't catch the smell of your heat. the last thing you wanted was for that stupid dog to be smelling your pussy like the animal he was.

"fuck." you muttered to yourself as you found you couldn't get enough friction from the pillow. you peeled of your shorts with the crotch of your panties soaked, and put your legs on either side of the pillow once more and rutted against the edge.

you squeaked a little and panted around your hand as you rolled your hips. heat raced through your body and electricity was shot through your clit from the sensation of the pillow against it. you could only imagine the stain that would be left on the pillow by the time you were done.

your toes curled as you continued to move, you were getting lost in your head as you moved across the fabric. you let out the smalles tnoises and couldn't even stop to hear if you could hear anyone outside your door.

it was why you didn't hear the stealthy john come into your room, or creep towards you in the dark. his nose was in the air as the alluring scent of fertile hybrid filled his brain. you didn't even know he was so close until he pounced onto the bed and shoved you into the mountain of soft objects.

you yelped and tried to kick your legs out in defense, but he kept you pinned rather tightly to the bed. his nose was in your neck as he took a healthy inhale. he groaned and you felt his cock twitch against your bare ass.

you knew your pussy was getting the front of his shorts soaked.

"what do we have here?" he asked, already a little drunk from the scent, "is my girl fuckin' her pillows? bein' bad." he growled against your neck as he pushed you further into the bed, causing your hips to raise higher.

"john!" you yelped.

"that's it, doll. my precious girl. i know i tease ya, but this is worse than anything i've ever done." he said with a dark edge to his tone, "ruttin' in your bed all alone. with your mate."

you melted at the word, you hated him but the lust was clotting your brain from coherent thought. all you could feel about was the heat against you. the larger hybrid up against you.

"please, john." you whimpered, "you can't breed me. get simon."

he kissed at your neck, his fangs nipped against the back of it, he continued to rub up against you, "i don't think so, doll. i think you need me more than you need simon." his voice was low, "you need some cock." he chuckled, "my cock."

you whimpered, "please."

"don't worry, i promise i was a easy pup to rear." he chuckled lowly, "you, me and baby, quite the trio. maybe if we're lucky, we'll have two boys."

you whimpered, in your state the thought sounded alluring. you couldn't imagine alife without john in that moment. even though he bullied you, you couldn't imagine him NOT fucking you in that moment.

"ya like that don't ya, girlie. you like the idea of you being all pregnant with my pups. you'd be a lovely girl like that." he chuckled as he pulled down his shorts under his cock, freeing it.

his cock was impressive, it was large with heavy balls that showed that he'd be a good breeder. he was impressed with it and hoped it would fit in your tight virgin hole.

"here it comes, love." he said, "now be good for me, i want to feel every inch in ya." he chuckled as he guided his cock into your sweet hole, effectively ruining your virginity. he sank into it slowly and felt the air leave his chest.

"ah!" you whimpered as you buried your head further into the stuffed animals on your bed. you exhaled deeply to keep yourself relaxed so you didn't hurt yourself. but his cock was already deep in you.

"holy shit. i wished you went into heat sooner." he growled, "you feel amazin', doll. i could fuck ya forever, give ya a whole bunch of litters to take care of." he chuckled as he puffed his chest out with pride. his cock was a tight fit in you, but it felt so good. you were so wet that he slid in easily, there was no struggle to fuck his little wife.

wife, that was a term he would ever think that he'd call you. but what else would you be? a slut? his fuck hole?" the thought made him chuckle as he started to thrust in and out of you.

your eyes rolled back, his cock soothed the fire in your belly. it was what the primal part of your brain needed. you needed cock, specically HIS cock. it was the only thing that you'd allow in you. you didn't NEED simon, you just needed john to fuck the discomfort away!

easy as that, and john was happily able to do that for you. he would make you feel nice and good. he held you down by your head and you felt hot all over as he thrusted up into you. he growled and tried not to make too much noise to alert his owned.

your breathing was shaky as you clutched onto a pillow under your head. you panted heavily as you felt hot all over. this heat was almost painful and it ran like a current in your body. you felt skittish but drowning in the depths of pleasure.

"ah! please! ah!" you panted, "john, please."

"i got ya, lass." he chuckled, "don't worry. i'll make it all better. don't worry about anything." he continued to thrust in and out of you. he felt hot all over too. his head was clouded with the scent of your want for him.

his heart raced as he felt his t-shirt cling to his chest as he continued to move. you tried to meet his pace but your brain was so empty that you could barely keep up. you had never felt this full before. you whimpered so pathetically, john just knew that he would have to take care of you. after all that was what a husband did.

your lover, your husband, the father to your many, many pups. that was a title he could be proud of. it only fueled him to bury his cock deeper inside of you. the bed squeaked and john breathed heavily through his nose as his hips slapped against your ass.

"pretty thing." he purred, "bein' such a bitch all this time. but i knew better, i knew you wanted me." he chuckled a little, proud of himself that he got to bed the little birdie that has been in his home the past couple of months.

"john." you said lazily, "it feels so good." you panted wildly. you felt like there was a flat line in your head, everything kind of rolled off your tongue without thinking much of it. ypur cutn was soaked, you could feel the wetness all the way down to the back fo your thighs.

"so good." he said, "simon is gonna know how good you were for me. once you're all swollen with my puppies. keep ya nice and fat with litter after litter. i'll make sure nothin' happens to them, our little family." he panted wildly like the dog he was. he threw his head back as his hips bounced against you. his cock pushed in and out of your aching hole.

he would douse the fire in your soul, he'll simmer you down. but in exchange you'll get morning sickness and in nine months squirming hybrids in your arms. you moaned at the thought, you knew you were close to your climax.

"mine. got it?" he said, less like a question and more like a statement as he pulled your head away from the pillows. you gasped for air after being in the heat of the pillows.

you moaned loudly as you felt yourself climax around his cock. further making a mess. he growled in happiness as he gave one last thrust of his hips and he finished inside of you.

the noise must've woken up simon. because when he went into your room, he found you going at it once more. he sighed and made a note to get you some plan b in the morning. he didn't need more puppies roaming the halls of the farmhouse.

he also reminded himself to get you some birth control shots to make sure this didn't happen again.

-

simon's plan failed. it failed pretty badly. because by the time he got the birth control. it was too late, you were pregnant with john's baby. simon was thankful that it was just ONE.

at least you two got along...

"goodamnit, soap!" you shrieked.

there was a commotion in the kitchen. simon sighed and got up from his seat. he saw one very pregnant hybrid and the one who got her pregnant in the kitchen. you two were snapping jaws at one another.

"i wish you'd go back to fuckin'." he grumbled.

[mysunshinetemptress]

Sick

Alexia Putellas x reader

Warnings: really shit short writing I’m so tired I don’t know if I spelled anything correctly

The scent of sweat and determination hung heavy in the air as you watched Alexia storm past the practice field. Her fiery ponytail bounced with every frustrated puff of her breath. Since you joined the Barça Femení squad, You'd known she was stubborn. It was practically a team legend. But dating her, a fiercely competitive Catalonian had brought it home in a whole new way.

Her ACL injury had been a sucker punch. Watching her, the captain, the heart and soul of the team, reduced to frustrated sideline observations was agonising. Every missed practice, every specialist appointment, fuelled the inferno within her. The pressure of leading her childhood team to another championship, now seemingly out of reach, only added to the inferno.

One evening, you found her in the physiotherapy room, a grimace on her face as she battled through a particularly gruelling exercise. Sweat beaded on her forehead, mirroring the frustration in her eyes.

"Hey," you said softly, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You're pushing yourself too hard."

She shot you a fiery look. "I have to be ready. The team needs me."

"They do," you agreed, "But not broken. Take a breath, Alexia. What good are you to them if you re-injure yourself?"

Her jaw clenched, but after a moment, she released a shaky breath. "It's just... this is my team. I've been dreaming of this championship since I was a kid."

You pulled up a chair beside her. "I know, and nobody wants it more than you. But trust the process, trust your teammates.They're holding down the fort while you heal."

There was a flicker of doubt in her eyes, a vulnerability you hadn't seen before. It ignited a fierce protectiveness in you. You knew her drive, and her talent, but right now, she needed someone to remind her of her strength beyond the field.

"We'll get you back out there, stronger than ever," you vowed, squeezing her hand. "But for now," you leaned in, brushing a kiss to her temple, "let your body heal."

The road to recovery was long. There were setbacks, tears, and moments of despair. But through it all, you were her rock, her cheerleader, and sometimes, the voice of reason. Slowly, steadily, Alexia fought her way back. The fire in her eyes never died, but it was tempered with a newfound patience, a trust in her body and her team.

But now as you sit in the changing rooms tying your boots and watching Alexia wince at the noise of the room and Mapi's usual giddy persona you can't help but start to worry again, like yo had all those months ago.

You tugged your laces tighter, the knot mirroring the knot of worry tightening in your stomach. Glancing at Alexia across the room, you saw her wince at Mapi's booming laugh, a stark contrast to the fire that usually burned in her eyes. Here you were, months after her injury, and the old anxieties bubbled back up.

Mapi, oblivious, launched into a story about a stray cat she'd befriended, her voice bouncing off the lockers. Alexia tried to force a smile, but it looked more like a grimace. You knew the changing room noise, usually a comforting pre-game buzz, was likely an assault on her still-healing knee.

Maybe it was the flashbacks to those grueling physiotherapy sessions, or the memory of the desperation in her voice when she'd pushed herself too hard. Whatever it was, a familiar protectiveness washed over you. You stood, boots slapping against the tile floor, and made your way over to her.

"Hey," you said softly, crouching beside her. "Need a minute?"

Alexia met your gaze, her usual fierceness replaced by a flicker of vulnerability. "Just a little overwhelmed," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

You squeezed her hand, the warmth a silent reassurance. "It's okay to feel that way. Just breathe, and focus on yourself. We'll get you in the zone."

Alexia brought your hand to her lips kissing your knuckles gently "Gracias mi amor."

You thought once Alexia got on to the field and started to train that her head would clear and she would be ok instead you notice she's struggling, you look around to see if any of your other teammates notice but they don't seem to or they just ignore it to scared to say anything in fear of getting their head torn off by the captain.

Alexia is slow, on every pass, every shot and goal and every decision she makes during training. Like previously you are the only one who seems to notice but you, only you don't get to say anything to the older girl until the water break.

Placing your hand on her shoulder you give it a squeeze turning her to face you, you frown at the sight. Alexia's dead eyes and scrunched forehead, she's in pain and you panic thinking it's her knee cursing the thought that you should have caught it sooner, only you are surprised when your stubborn, competitive, professional athlete, your captain throws herself into your arms.

You don't hesitate or care about the sweat dripping off the taller girl you wrap your arms around her just as tight "Ale, you feeling ok." Alexia buries her head further into the crook of your neck "My head and throat hurt, I...I want to go home amor." You stoke Alexia's hair nodding "Ok if you're sure Ale."

You race off to tell Jonatan who looks more concerned than anything at the thought of stoic and strong Alexia looking to leave training early. Once you get back to Alexia she hides away in your neck as you walk her into the changing rooms, putting her in your cubby and gathering your things.

Alexia doesn't talk for the entire ride home instead she simply holds your hand right until the minute you have to get out of the car. Alexia isn't clingy she's never been clingy in fact when she tore her ACL she pushed you away, time and time again so this behaviour is odd and a little worrying.

You run Alexia a cool bath and gently help her decompress from training even if it was only short, before picking out some comfy clothes for her to wear and getting her ready for a lazy day.

You and Alexia crash on the couch the midfielder lying on top of you coughing and growing every now and again while you try to soothe her.

"Come on Ale, let's go get you some medicine." You try to coax her into the kitchen to take her medicine but you forget momentarily that no matter how. dedicated your girlfriend is to football and Barcelona she's also a big kid that you have to look after more times than not. This is one of those many times.

Alexia refuses to take her medicine stating it doesn't taste nice and you can't help but let out a huff and roll your eyes "Ale please if you want to be better then you have to take them." Alexia shakes her head and so you have to come up with a solution "Take the medicine and i'll give you a kiss, don't take the medicine and you don't get to see me naked for a very long time."

Alexia looks at you shocked "How long is a long time amor." You smile slightly " Until I see fit." Alexia doesn't hesitate any longer instead taking the medication from your hand and taking it herself before she moves forward to kiss you only for you to step back "Wow, I didn't say I'd kiss you now I'm not getting sick." Alexia let's out a huff pulling you to the couch.

Once you are lying down Alexia goes to ly on top of you once more before lunging her head forward and kissing you softly. "It's only a matter of time till you get sick amor, i thought I'd just speed up the process, that way we can do it together, Vale." You let out a soft laugh lying back down. Of course your girlfriend wouldn't suffer alone no no she had to bring you down to rolling your eyes you pulled out your phone firing off a text to Jonatan.

"what are you doing Amor?." Alexia asked moving her head to see better "Calling us in sick for the rest of the week seen as how you wouldn't suffer alone." Alexia smiled "why would I do that when I can have you."

[taxfruad4ever]

Okay so I accidentally FUCKIN DELETED THIS WHOLE THING AND I HAD TO TOTALLY RE-WRITE IT WHICH IS WHY I TOOK SO DAMN LONG TO POST AGAIN!!! ...So this was da request:

hiii could you do something abt shadow x reader where they go in a fight with a villian or something but the reader sacrifices their self to save shadow ? (the reader lives but its badly hurt tho)

Warnings: Extreme angst, Mention of death, Extreme angst, like, gut-wrenching amounts of it.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

You sluggishly fluttered your your eyes open, an incandescent glow seeping through your eyelids as consciousness neared you. You felt dizzy —weak— as if you had been spun around in circles for hours on end; you wished someone was there with you to comfort you, to fend off the dizzying haze that consumed you wholly.

Staring at the dull white of ceiling tiles, —for what felt adjacent to an eternity— You paid no attention to your surroundings. Although, you did notice a tv tray filled with flowers and "Get well soon!" Cards, a woven basket of baked goods with Amys swooping cursive handwriting on the card, and a heavy weight that laid over your legs with tranquility; It was Shadow, his eyes pink and puffy, as if he had been crying. You gently placed your hand on the side of his head, making him jolt upright and stiff.

As he realized who had awoken him, however, his face changed from his regular brooding facade into a relieved simper; his shoulders relaxing with ease— or exhaustion, rather—.

"I get the feeling you've been here a while." You joked. You had ment for your voice to come out clear and jovial, but instead, it came out tired and weak.

"I've been here just as long as you have." He stated gruffly.

"Which is...?" You trailed off, hoping for him to finish the sentence, but to no avail. Silence hung thickly in the air.

"You know damn well that I'm Immortal, yet you put your life on the line— for what?" He spat. His eyes welled up with tears, but he tried to keep his cool as best he could. Pressing his lips together in a line.

You furrowed your brows. You knew outbursts like this were completely unlike him. The thought that your reckless actions— your idiotic conduct— caused him this pain put a lump in your throat.

"For you...!" You trailed off, fiddling with the edge of your hospital gown as your shoulders slumped.

"Besides, it was barely a flesh wound..!" You continued.

"Barely a flesh wound you needed 42 stitches for." He spat with venom in his tone. Another long pause drawing out in between you and him.

"I'm sorry." You breathed, barely audible as the harsh weight of shame — of guilt — settled over you like a thick veil.

"I don't want you to be sorry." He reached out to you, holding your shaking hands in his. Finally holding eye contact, his eyes glistening with warmth and tendresse.

"I want you to be safe.."

"But I failed to make you so." He looked away, shutting his eyes tightly.

"I failed you.." he choked out, berating himself, fists clenched with a white knuckle grip.

"No. You didn't fail me," you insisted; sitting up more tall and confident then before. "This was my fault, Shadow. It was my choice to save you; my choice to put my life on the line— Not yours—." You stated firmly.

"I could have escaped easily." He said, his quills stiffening in annoyance.

"And if you hadn't?" You quaked.

"Your death would have been better than my short absence?" He shouted sternly.

You thought for a beat, unsure of what to say next.

"Maybe..." You admitted, eyes glistening with tears. "But I still chose this." You finished, a cold tear finally trickling down your cheek; a fraction of the shame you felt that made you ache to your very bones.

He took a deep breath, his nerves briefly relaxing.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

"You need to rest. They should be able to release you by tomorrow afternoon." He stated, walking toward the door without a single word more.

You looked down at your shaking hands, the world soon growing blurry as a pang of sorrow shoots through you; bereft without Shadows presense next to you.

Sorry for the wack ending lol. I've been working on this for months now, and I felt horrible not posting it as soon as possible. So thank you for your patience!

Baiiiiiii 💖💖💖

Edit: HOLY SHIT THIS ABSOLUTELY BLEW UP??? COMPARED TO MY REGULAR POSTS THIS IS HUGE THANK Y'ALL SO MUCH 😭😭😭

[aemiron-main]

The Most Evil Man In Hawkins: Don Melvald and Brenner Sr (Ft Richard Brenner and Brenner Sr's Punk Era/Axel Delivering Brenner Subtext and Ketamine)

So, Mark Hammersley posted this picture of himself as Brenner Sr:

And then, right after that Brenner Sr picture, he posted this picture of himself as Don Melvald:

And look at the caption- "secretly the most evil man in Hawkins"- that's an interesting caption for a guy that's supposedly a random store owner- it's almost the sort of caption that woudl fit better with Brenner Sr. It's almost like Brenner Sr and Don Melvald are being connected here, especially with how often Brenner gets referred to as "man"/"the man" in-show versus Don getting called "the most evil man" in this caption.

Hell, Kali even refers to Brenner as "a man you knew was evil":

And of course, I take everything that's said/posted by actors with a HUGE grain of salt, and on its own, Mark’s caption isn't particularly strong evidence of some sort of subtext/connection related to Brenner Sr and Don Melvald- but there's three key things that piqued my interest here and led me to believe that there IS some sort of Melvald-Brenner connection:

1.) Mark Hammersley himself has posted before about how he has to be super careful about what he posts on social media re: TFS & how people from Netflix/people in charge check/approve TFS social media posts (and other cast members have talked about how they have ‘ironclad NDAs’)- which makes it suspicious that the Brenner Sr post was deleted and is no longer on Mark's page:

2.) Even when Brenner Sr and Don Melvald aren't played by Mark Hammersley, they ARE always played by the same actor (at least every time I saw the play & every BTS pic etc I've seen supports this & even if it's hard to tell from my screenshots, that is 1000000% the same actor playing both of them in TFS). So, even setting Mark himself entirely aside, there IS an intentional production choice/casting choice that connects Brenner Sr and Don Melvald:

3.) The in-show, NON TFS Don Melvald has an EERY resemblance to Brenner. Look at the hair- not only does he have the same "pushed back grey with white streaks" style as Brenner, but his hair is also parted on the RICHARD side/towards screen left, which ties into something I'm going to talk about in a second. And there''s also Don's white grid shirt versus the white HNL grid tiles and Owens' white grid shirt- and Don also wears a grid shirt and cardigan combo like Owens does, with the blue coat over top and everything (and Don's cardigan seems to be dark green, much like in-show Young Henward's dark green cardigan):

And what's extra suspicious about all of this is Melvald's being advertised as a drug store versus Richard Brenner being the head of the Narcotics Enforcement division, and all of the drug dealer Reefer Rick vs Richard Brenner stuff (it’s also very funny to me that the guy that’s talking about “when did Rick get out of jail?” has the same sort of white and grey beard as TFS Don Melvald and Brenner Sr):

And on that note, going back to what I said in the beginning about Kali's line re: "a man you knew was evil," IMO, this is another piece that connects all of this specifically to Richard because Richard is likley the man that Kali is referring to/the man that Ray worked with, as Richard seems to be the guy that we see in the flashbacks with Ray during Terry's electrocution:

Anyway, it's also an interesting choice for Don Melvald to have brown eyes as opposied to both Brenner Sr and Brenner Jr's brown eyes versus Flayed Will's brown eyes... what's going on??? And also regarding Brenner Sr and Don Melvald being played by the same actor in TFS/being identical, this "sex, drugs, and Elvis" line about Melvald's from TFS stuck out to me:

It stuck out to me because: A.) It connects Melvalds to drugs again, which therefore connects Melvald's to Richard Brenner again. And B.) It references Elvis, which, as we know, and as I'm sure Stav's talked about, that connects to the "Elvis Cloned By Aliens" newspaper article.

So, connecting Melvald's to Elvis therefore connects Melvald's to cloning- which is supsicious considering that TFS Don Melvald is identical to Brenner Sr/played by the same actor. Quick, Don, you wouldn't happen to be some sort of copy/clone of Brenner Sr, would you? Even in the sense of TFS involving some of Brenner Jr's memories in a weird simulation way/the way that the bloody hands memory invades NINA for El, and so, Brenner Jr's memories of Brenner Sr might be invading TFS in a similar way???

And also, the Elvis Cloned By Aliens paper has that article titled “Sailor Cheats Death In Ordeal At Sea," which further connects the cloning stuff to Brenner Sr because Brenner Sr cheated death at sea and returned (albeit briefly) from Project Rainbow/the USS Eldridge, whereas the rest of his crew did not. Brenner Sr, do you have clones running around?? Also, it's interesting that TFS Don Melvald a.) looks so different from in-show Don Melvald, with TFS Don having a beard vs in-show Don being clean-shaven, which reminds me of Brenner Sr's beard in TFS vs in-show Brenner being clean-shaven and b.) Don Melvald is already greying/older looking when Joyce is in highschool in TFS- and yet, many years later, the in-show Don Melvald looks younger than the TFS Don/it doesnt seem to make sense for in-show Don to be TFS Don age-wise- which makes me think about how TFS Brenner Jr doesn't age, and also the whole Brenner Sr vs Brenner Jr thing- is the TFS version of Don actually Don Melvald Sr vs the in-show don being Don Melvald Jr? Anyway!

And also, when we look at more of Don's in-show scenes, he has a line about bringing Jeffrey in to cover for Joyce. Which is interesting considering all of the weirdness with cover actors in TFS and the fact that it almost seems like Brenner Sr's actor is "covering" for Don Melvald's actor or vice versa, even though that doesn't seem to actually be the case/Don's been intentionally casted since the start to be played by whicever actor is playing Brenner Sr. It's also extra interesting that Don is having a guy named Jeffrey/Jeff cover for Joyce here, versus Jeff from the Hellfire Club being present at the table in S4 when Dustin and Mike are told to go and find somebody to cover for Lucas. And Jeff's also the guy that pointed out that Eddie's been saying that he's going to run out of Hawkins High for two years, which then connects to what I've talked about before re: Eddie being stuck in highschool for an extra two years versus Edward Creel moving to Hawkins two years before Henry did- and Jeff also wears a Black Sabbath shirt later on vs what I talked about in this post and this post re: Eddie Munson vs Edward Creel and Black Sabbath/Ozzy Osbourne And Jeff is ALSO the one that yells at Jason to "let him go" when Jason grabs Gareth, which then connects to El talking about how Brenner couldn't let Henry go:

Anyway, we also have this shot of the Halloween masks at Melvald's General Store- and that mummy mask looks a LOT like Brenner Sr's Invisible Man-esque bandaged face after he returned from Project Rainbow- and that mask from Melvald’s is also the same mask that Axel wears:

And speaking of Axel, Axel has something in common with TFS Virginia- they’re both terrified of spiders, TFS Henry shows Virginia a vision of spiders crawling towards her/onto her, just like Kali does with Axel, and Virginia freak out just like Axel does:

(And TFS Virginia was locked in a closet full of spiders as a child, which, considering the connection to Brenner Sr via Axel here, makes me wonder a.) if Brenner Sr ever locked any of his kids/Brenner Jr in a closet/trunk, esp considering the Will-Brenner parallels & Jonathan checking Lonnie’s trunk for Will, as well as all of the locker imagery in TFS & the Davy Jones’ Locker association re: Brenner Sr being a sailor and b.) if TFS Virginia might be one of Brenner Sr’s kids, but anyway)

And hilariously, that whole Virginia-Henry scene about the spiders not only happens RIGHT after the scene of Henry at Melvald's/he's JUST come home from Melvald's to find Virginia waiting up for him, but also, the whole reason the conflict started/the whole reason that line about Virginia and the spiders was even said is because Virginia was upset about Henry going to Melvald's with Patty. Alll roads really do lead to Melvald's at this point.

And regarding that Brenner Sr-Virginia connection, isn't it then funny that the mask in question that Axel wears & that resembles Brenner Sr’a bandages is a mummy mask vs Brenner Sr being connected to Henry's mom via Axel delivering Brenner Sr subtext & having the same sort of spider fear as TFS Virginia?

PLUS, we have Kali putting Axel's Brenner Sr-esque mask onto El- El, who's a girl, which further connects to the weird “Brenner Sr vs Virginia/mother/woman” stuff going on here (and is also interesting considering El being mistaken for a boy in S1):

And also, Kali says that Axel is a “terrible dancer,” after she makes the spiders appear and Axel “dances” around about it, versus TFS Henry talking about how he “doesn’t dance/isnt a good dancer” and then the scene of TFS Henry dancing at Melvald’s right before the spider scene with Virginia:

And ALSO, we get a shot of Axel holding Chinese food, versus S1 Karen saying “am I speaking Chinese in this house?” versus Don Melvald being RIGHT behind Karen at Will’s funeral & the context of the “am I speaking Chinese” scene being about Will’s disappearance/“death”, therefore connecting the “speaking Chinese” scene to that funeral scene & therefore connecting the “speaking Chinese” scene to Don Melvald, which then connects back to Axel (who wears the mask that’s sold at Melvald’s) holding Chinese food, and THEN there’s ALSO Nancy talking about “house arrest” right after Karen says that “speaking Chinese” line versus Reefer Rick delivering subtext about Richard Brenner & the guys on the boat talking about Reefer Rick getting arrested and the “China doll” lyric playing RIGHT after that line, PLUS the newspaper article about Richard Brenner talking about how the documents involving him were “heavily coded,” versus TFS Henry’s DIY code, and Robin cracking the S3 code versus a key part of the S3 code being Chinese food (which Axel was holding), and the S3 code line being “a trip to China sounds nice,” versus the idea of tripping on drugs and what I’m going to talk about later re: Axel, Richard, Reefer Rick and Ketamine and Richard Brenner being the head of narcotics:

And Axel also has this shot where he cocks a pistol, which makes me think of the scene in TFS where Brenner Sr/Don Melvald’s actor does the same sort of thing/raises a pistol towards the audience kind of randomly/there’s no clear reason as to why he did it:

And we also have the shots of Axel walking with his black coat flowing out dramatically behind him, JUST like S1 Brenner walking with his black coat flowing out dramatically behind him (and also, there’s something about the anarchy symbol on Axel’s shirt vs TFS Henry’s weird x and circle scar on his hand):

And just briefly, this part is a tiny bit more of a stretch admittedly, but it IS a little funny to me that Axel tries to steal cigarettes from the convenience store/is very prominently framed by cigarette ads- cigarettes, also known as fags- versus TFS Henry’s vanishing in the cave in Nevada/Henry’s in-show HNL kidnapping re: the Creel Murders and Will’s vanishing and both Henry and Will being gay/being “fags”.

Like, isn’t it just a little suspicious that Axel, the character with constant Brenner Sr & Richard Brenner references, is stealing fags? Versus Brenner’s long-running habit of stealing another type of fag?

Especially considering the connection that Kali’s gang has to London versus fag being British slang for cigarette??

And especially considering that the only time the word “fag” is used in ST is regarding Will (and hilariously, Joyce even raises her cigarette right into frame when she says it)- versus the connection between Richard Brenner and Will, with how the article about Richard is right under the article about Will’s vanishing:

And on a more obvious note re: Brenner St, Richard Brenner and Axel, there’s also the shot of Dottie holding up two bottles of prescription drugs/narcotics in front of Axel’s face- versus Richard Brenner being the head of the Narcotic Enforcement Division, and Axel’s visual connection to Brenner Sr via his mask and said mask being from Melvald’s, which was advertised as a drug store- point is, the connection between Brenner Sr, Don Melvald, Richard Brenner, and Axel continues:

And we also get this shot of Axel going into the kids’ room at Ray Carroll’s house- a kids’ room with rainbows on the wall (versus Brenner and the HNL rainbow room), and a closet very prominently featured in the shot (versus what I talked about earlier re: Virginia and Axel’s fear of spiders and Virginia having been locked in a closet full of spiders as a child), as well as the operator telling the girls to “stay calm” in this scene vs Henward telling El to “stay calm” during NINA in the rainbow room (which it’s also interesting to me that the operator that Henward gets paralleled to is a girl versus a.) the whole “henry creel isn’t a chick” thing in TFS and b.) what ive talked about with how during this very chess scene, Henward is visually paralleled to 007, who is a girl):

^And as a tangential note, it’s interesting to me that NINA Henward is paralleled to a phone operator here vs the NINA phonebooth scene vs the operator in The Matrix, and how operators are typically humans born outside of The Matrix versus Henward being the only lab kid that was born outside of the lab:

And in the bedroom, Axel finds two girls who seem like they might be twins- and not only do they seem like they might be twins, but they also a.) have dark brown hair that’s very similar to 15 year old Brenner’s hair colour & texture as well as 7 year old Henry’s hair colour and texture (and speaking of 15 year old Brenner’s hair, El’s slicked back dark punk hair also reminds me a lot of 15 yr old Brenner’s hair) and b.) they’re paralleled to Alice Creel with the night gowns & their father literally sharing a last name with the author of Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll:

Not to mention that one of the girls is wearing a nightgown with a print that’s eerily similar to the HNL lab gown print- and also reminds me of Suzie’s nightgown, which is interesting considering how similar the rainbows on the Carroll girls’ wall is to the rainbow on Suzie’s Muppet Movie/Rainbow Connection poster and how Suzie’s dark hair is so similar to the Carroll girls & the NINA rainbow room vs the Carroll girls’ rainbow wallpaper & Suzie’s connections to NINA & Suzie even having a phone in her room RIGHT under that rainbow connection poster that’s the same colour as the Carroll girls’ phone- and the nightgown ALSO reminds me of TFS Virginia’s nightgown (vs what I just said about the Carroll girls’ closet connection to Virginia), as well as the random bloody nightgown that appears on the laundry line during Max’s Vecna vision:

And the pose of the Carroll girls reminds me of the pose that in-show Young Henward has in this picture- especially since Young Henward has his murder night outfit on in that picture and we still don’t know who called the police on the night of the Creel murders versus the Carroll girls talking on the phone to the 911 operator about the police arriving (also, the use of the word “honey” from the operator here makes me wonder if we’ll get a parallel dialogue line of Henry calling the police the night of the Creel murders where that says “the police are on their way, Henry. Okay?”):

And also, this is something I’ve had a draft about for like a year now & haven’t finished so I’ll put a bit of it in this post, but it’s interesting to me that Axel calls Kali “K,” versus “K,” being used as a short form way of referring to “Ketamine,” versus Eddie Munson talking to Chrissy about Ketamine & Chrissy calling it “Special K” and all of the Richard Brenner vs Reefer Rick drug stuff/Eddie Munson getting his drugs (the Ketamine) from Reefer Rick, versus Axel, who’s constantly connected to Richard Brenner and Brenner Sr, referring to Kali as “K”:

Which also makes me think of the connection between Will and Richard Brenner and the S1 line about how Will’s vanishing left a “hole” in the community” versus the Ketamine experience called a “K Hole,” that causes intense dissociation and “out of body experiences” (which has me staring at my draft about the CIA in 1983s and the Gateway Technique/astral projection) and can also cause distortion of time and space, hallucinations, memory loss, psychosis, and more. Which makes me think about a.) Henward’s apparent memory loss after the Creel murders/El’s memory loss after the massacre & that scene being a parallel to Henward fainting after the Creel murders, as well as Will weirdly not mentioning (or possibly not remembering) his time in the upside down, and b.) all of the hallucination and psychosis stuff associated with Henward, especially with TFS Henry.

There’s a lot more I have to say about Ketamine/K Hole symptoms, dissociation, MKULTRA (because one of the key goals of MKULTRA experiments was inducing dissociation), Henry vs Edward, etc etc, especially since k hole experiences are often associated with visions of aliens/alien experiences vs TFS Henry’s alien stuff re: Rachel, Nevada and all of the Brenner alien stuff, but I’ll put that all in the actual ketamine post/I’ll go and finish that post.

And they also show us a scene of Troy specifically repeating the line about a “hole” versus bladder problems being a symptom of repeated k hole experiences and El making Troy wet himself:

Anyway! Lots to think about, I’d love to know what the hell is going on with Don Melvald vs Brenner Sr and all of the connections to China and codes etc etc!!!

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

Coldshot Thoughts

I'm doing this for another operator because I took the time to figure out how she works and now I have to upstage Gamepress. That's not hard but it's my moral duty as someone who actually plays Arknights.

HP: 1,855 ATK: 958 (+105 from Trust) (Total: 1,063) DEF: 224 RES: 0 Redeployment Time: 80 seconds DP Cost: 21 Block Count: 1 Attack Interval: 1.6 seconds

Potentials DP Cost -1 Redeployment time -10 seconds DP Cost -1 Improves "Not to be Outdone" DP Cost -1

Welfares in Arknights suffer from being in a state of limbo generally. Welfares are generally decent or good units, but they very rarely fall out of these bounds. Unlike normal Operators, Welfares do not really benefit from access to their potentials: they have deliberately inflated DP cost and Redeployment Time which means that their potentials don't actually end up improving them across the board. Most Welfares are also 5-stars, which means they end up sitting in the awkward rarity where they feel like they cost more like a 6-star operator but don't quite have the same impact.

This said, Coldshot doesn't initially leave a bad impression, at least in part because the Hunter class is pretty impressively stated. They have good bulk for a Sniper (only losing to Spreadshooters), very high ATK, and a reasonable attack interval. This all comes at a rather nice 18 DP cost too.

Trait Attacks consume Ammo (not Ammunition) to increase ATK to 120%; While not attacking, Ammo will be slowly reloaded (max Capacity 8)

This is due to the Hunter trait. They can attack continuously while they have ammunition, but will have to spend time reloading once they don't. This results in some DPS loss while they have no ammunition, since there is some delay between reloading and attacking again (at most about 0.39 seconds).

Reloading is worth talking about here as well. Reloading takes the same amount of time as attacking (1.6 seconds), but isn't affected by anything that would modify the attack interval, such as ASPD. This means that while Hunters can benefit from ASPD buffs, once they need to reload, their DPS can be considered capped since they need to go through the entire reload process.

In addition, it should be noted here that Coldshot has no synergy with Chen the Holungday. Her talent won't affect Coldshot's ammo use, since they're different mechanics entirely.

The benefit here is the juicy damage increase Hunters get. This is an Attack Scale buff, which means it gets applied after all other modifiers (Inspiration, +x% Atk buffs) but before Defense. This gives Coldshot a rather fantastic damage per hit of 1,275.6 damage, which is really impressive as a base line for a Sniper class. This makes Hunters rather versatile anti-armor units thanks to their good attack interval, especially against low Weight enemies with high DEF (such as in Contingency Contract) where Besiegers are disadvantaged.

The Hunter attack range is an upgraded Lord Guard attack range, and that's honestly a pretty good place to be. She doesn't quite have the spread of the other Archer classes, but she has better penetration being able to hit 5 tiles away.

That was intentional, this is absolutely the cock and balls attack range. Helena is a trans milf and you cannot change my mind.

Next let's move to Helena's talent.

This is an interesting talent since it supports using Helena in generally low pressure lanes. Not attacking for 2 seconds is a pretty easy condition to fulfill by accident since she only needs to stop attacking for 0.4 seconds, and she gets another nice Attack Scale buff for her trouble. Attack Scale buffs stack in a multiplicative fashion, so she'll end up dealing 1.596x her attack in damage with her talent.

This brings her DPH up to 1,696.548 (yeah I've learned that Arknights doesn't round its really annoying on my eyes too) which is quite impressive. If you're sustaining her talent hits over a long period of time as soon as you can, it's worth noting that Coldshot's DPS actually goes up a bit too, which really incentives the low pressure lanes for Coldshot.

Moving onto her skills:

ATK Up gamma Auto Recovery, Manual Activation, 30 second duration Starting SP: 15, SP Cost: 30 ATK + 100%

There is not a particularly compelling reason to use Coldshot's S1. The attack buff it provides is weaker than her S2, she misses out on the Slow bonus which helps to keep enemies in Coldshot's attack range, and it has a worse duration than her S2. Even with the shorter reload time compared to her S2, her DPS is weaker thanks to the smaller ATK buff.

Party Night Auto Recovery, Manual Activation, 40 second duration Starting SP: 25, SP Cost: 40 Increases reload interval by 0.8 seconds, ATK +140%, and attacks slow the taget for 1 second.

This is the only skill that's really worth using on Coldshot. Her ATK with this skill goes up to a pretty staggering 2,551.2, and that's before adding in the ATK scale bonus innate to the Hunter class. That brings her DPH to 3061.44, and that's really impressive. It's not often you can boast damage numbers that high on a Sniper, and this also means Coldshot has a very respectable DPS while her skill is up of 1,913.4.

The extra reload time is both a drawback and a boon. It means that while Coldshot is reloading, she will always benefit from the effect of her talent, and the extra damage pushes her DPH to 4,071.7152 this rather gross looking number. 4000 DPH is genuinely impressive, but Coldshot also suffers from a DPS while having to reload, since the increase to her reload interval outweighs the extra benefits of her talent.

This puts Coldshot into a very weird spot. There's already a general shortage of enemies in the 3000 DEF range, you can tell Coldshot was teched for her event stages given the Energy mechanic, so the extra damage per hit is mostly just unnecessary, and she does suffer from the DPS drop. But hey, you wanna see a fun calc kid?

1063 * 1.35 = 1435.05 * 2.4 = 3444.12 * 1.596 = 5,496.81552

Coldshot while reloading can do meaningful damage to a non-debuffed Last Knight while her reload interval will keep her from being frozen. If you pair her with a Therapist Medic (particularly Ceylon), or have the Healer's Path - Restore Sanity book, she can DPS him while his HP is below 50% as well and won't have to worry about running out of ammo beforehand.

That rocks personally, I cannot fucking wait to try that out. That's with one Relic too. Imagine.

With this all being said, where exactly does Coldshot fit into all of this? If you were concerned about her viability, what is there to think about? One of the problems facing Coldshot is that a high DPH Sniper class is not one without competition, since Deadeyes, Heavyshooters, and Besiegers all fit in that slot too. Hunters don't quite have the ceiling that Heavyshooters like Melanite do, the range that Deadeyes like Firewatch provide, or the impressive DEF ignoring benefits of the Besieger class like Erato.

But, critically, Coldshot is really fucking easy to use, and comes with her own fun specific range benefits over the other classes. Melanite requires extreme close quarters range or ends up having worse DPS with her S1 than Coldshot. Provence can boast similarly nutty DPH numbers, but doing so is both luck based, requires enemies to be damaged, and has a strong positional requirement. Erato needs outside Sleep support to make the most out of her DEF reducing talent, Toddifons is good against exactly Sarkaz enemies, and the Deadeyes all end up with weaker DPS than Coldshot. Firewatch's DPH without her module is even weaker than Coldshot's.

(It's better with her Module though, although her DPS is still lower thanks to her longer Attack Interval.)

Every 5-star comparable operator has some tension in their kit, tension which is fun and cool to work around, but its still there. Coldshot just gets to do big funny numbers for free, with the tradeback that she will have a period where her DPS takes a hit comparatively. This ease of use is a big reason Ray is really good on CN: she's very comparable to the other 6-stars but benefits from being really easy to use. Unfortunately, this does incentivize people to not take much note of Coldshot, but let's be real for a moment.

Coldshot is pretty good, but a very what you see is what you get operator. She maintains no strong niche for the benefit of being more generally powerful. There's no real way to push her higher, meaning her ceiling won't be that impressive, but her floor is rather ridiculous. In the world of shitty Youtube thumbnails and Gamepress tier lists, sometimes you just gotta sit down and go

3000 damage is 3000 damage.

[jungle-angel]

The Students Become The Masters (Calvin Evans x Reader)

Summary: D'Nadi clearly made a mistake picking on you and Cal and your students couldn't have made it clearer than that

Tagging: @floydsmuse

Warnings: Pregnancy, D'Nadi being an asshole etc.

Calvin re-emerged from the kitchen with a hot mug of homemade tea to help calm your nerves. God it had been a day. Never in his life had Calvin seen you so upset about D'Nadi approaching you and not giving you a reason as to why you had been sent home from the college. He had felt terrible about cancelling his other classes for the rest of the day, but he knew that you needed him now more than ever.

"C'mere love," he said, gently lifting your tired head into his lap.

You sniffed a little as the tears stung your eyes. "God I hate D'Nadi," you croaked.

"I know, I do too sweetheart," Calvin said, running his fingers through your hair. "Try not to stress so much. I don't want anything to happen to you or the baby."

"I know," you croaked again. "I have an appointment at the teaching hospital tomorrow."

You snuggled into Calvin, a little too tired to drink the tea he had made, until he had finally convinced you to drink just a little. His hand trailed to your now noticeable bump, gently caressing the little life that grew within. A knock at the front door had startled you both and threw Six-Thirty into a barking fit until Calvin shooed him back to his bed near the fireplace. When Calvin opened the front door, he was a little surprised to find Father McDowell standing there on the front porch.

"Sorry to be disturbin ya laddy," he apologized. "I know it's late and you and the missus are probably settlin in fer bed."

"It's alright Padre," Calvin said. "Just a bit of a rough day is all."

"Ah so I can tell," Father McDowell said, seating himself in the old wingback near the living room window. "How are ye (y/n)? Still feelin a little blue are ye?"

You nodded.

Father McDowell sighed as Six-Thirty put his paws up on the chair arm, the priest gladly letting him have a few scritches. "Tis a damn shame we ain't back in Cork," he said. "If he'd have been attendin me old boardin school, the nuns would've lashed'em so hard he wouldn't be able to sit for at least a week."

You and Cal both chuckled a little. Despite his salty nature, Father McDowell's presence was always welcome at times like these as well as his rather twisted sense of humor.

"One way or another m'lamb, ye'll get through it," he assured you, lighting his pipe. "All will be right with the world......somehow."

And you and Calvin had hoped so.

***************************

Dark night had fallen over the college campus, but that didn't mean the halls were dead. No, they remained brightly lit, the rushed footsteps of students feet on the tile and parquet floors, hurrying to an out of order bathroom at the very end of the hall.

Two students, one of Father McDowell's theology students and his girlfriend, knocked on the door of the bathroom which was promptly opened by Sandy Levenstein, one of your assistants in the classroom.

"You two here from the Padre?" she asked.

"Yep," the young man answered.

"Get in," Sandy told them.

The bathroom was crowded with students and TAs alike, everyone packed elbows to assholes in that small little room from all walks of the campus life, bookworms, jocks, exchange students, chemistry majors, nursing majors, art and art history majors and everyone and anyone in between.

"Alright, you wanna take this Mei? Or should I?" Sandy asked from her perch on top of the garbage can.

"I'll do it," Mei told her. "Marshall? Wanna gimme a hand?"

"Hell yeah honey!" he answered, hoisting Mei up onto his big shoulders.

Mei began pounding on a metal garbage can lid with her Nainai's wooden cooking spoon. "ALRIGHT EVERYBODY SHUT UP FOR TWO SECONDS!!!!"

She waited until the whole room fell silent before speaking again. "Alright, now that I've got your undivided attention," she said. "Marsh, you can put me down now, thank you."

Marshall lowered her down to the floor, letting Mei stand amongst the eager to listen crowd.

"It seems to me that some foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach, had a bone to pick with our dearly beloved professors," Mei explained. "So I ask you, good people of this university.......what the hell are we gonna do about it? Are we gonna stand by and watch him pick on them again?"

"HELL NO!" everyone exclaimed.

"Are we gonna stand for this shit?" Mei asked.

"HELL NO!!"

"Are we gonna let that slimy little schlemiel get away with it?!" Sandy declared.

"HELL NO!!!!"

"I don't care how any of you have to do it," Mei told the crowd. "I don't care how long it takes, what methods you have to use, orthodox or not as long as it's within legal means.........but all of you, get out there and show the little cockroach who really runs this place!"

The crowd in the bathroom cheered, high-fiving and slapping the overhang of the door on their way out.

"You think this is gonna work?" Sandy asked.

"It's worth a shot," Mei laughed.

*****************************

Calvin was in his office, working on the grant proposal for the college's chemistry program, the typewriter clicking away as Six-Thirty came back with a note from the college president. It had been almost a week since D'Nadi had pulled his little stunt, the both of you worried sick about work and how things would turn out. Calvin was an anxious mess as he opened the letter and read it, but relieved beyond words when he saw the response.

Dear Professor Evans,

I apologize for this being so late in coming, but I wanted to let you know personally that you and your wife will continue to teach at this establishment. I will allow her full benefits and time for when the baby is born and you as well. Give my best to (y/n) and we look forward to seeing her when she returns.

Regards,

William B. Hayes III, University President

Calvin was relieved and knew that you would be too. He shoved the letter into one of the pockets inside his briefcase, eager to show you when he got home, when the quiet in his office was suddenly broken by a knock at the door.

"I'm not to be disturbed!" He warned loudly.

"Doc it's me! It's Marshall!" answered a muffled voice from the other side of the door.

Cal quickly rose from his desk chair and opened the door. Marshall Ray Thomas, Eugene Walsh, Cindy Bianchi and Sylvia Patton, all students of his and yours, entered his office, each with a cheeky grin on their faces.

"What did you idiots do?" Calvin asked, suspicious of the reason for their visit.

"Oh ya'll are gonna wanna see this," Marshall laughed, handing Calvin a stack of polaroids.

Calvin flipped through each and every one, his eyes bugging at a few, particularly of one where D'Nadi had been strapped to the surgical gurney in one of the nursing classrooms, the students all surrounding him wearing surgical gear and wielding the tools as though they were in a horror movie.

"Jeebus fuck!" Calvin chuckled, going bug-eyed.

"Oh, wait until you see the ones we took in the chemistry labs," Eugene chuckled, adjusting his glasses. "Sonny Ortega had fun with that one."

Calvin had to stifle a laugh when he saw it. Eugene hadn't been lying, seeing as he and Sonny had been cohorts from day one. What Cal hadn't been expecting was a full recreation of the lab scene in "Frankenstein" and the photographic evidence that had come with it.

"Oh my God," he laughed. "This is just.......wow."

A collective cheer and the chanting of students and teachers alike, soon reached Calvin's ears. Marshall, Eugene, Cindy and Sylvia made their way into the hall where the entire faculty seemed to be chanting "walk of shame" and clapping as loud as they could. Calvin caught sight of a sneering and sulking D'Nadi carrying a box of his things out of his office as the students and faculty kept it up, including Mrs. Petty, the elderly receptionist, who hated D'Nadi with every fiber of her being.

Calvin couldn't help the broad grin that was beginning to crawl across his face, especially when Dr. Powers and Professor Broussard clapped their firm hands on each of his shoulders.

"Mon amie," Professor Broussard said to him. "It seems justice has been served on your behalf."

Calvin laughed as he joined in, everyone cheering loudly when D'Nadi rounded the corner, never to be seen or heard from at the college again.

*****************************

You laughed as you went through the polaroids again with Calvin as soon as he got home, relieved that you still had your job at the college.

"So wait, tell me again," you laughed. "They seriously did that in the nursing classroom?"

"Photo evidence is right there," Calvin answered.

You snorted when you saw it. "Oh my God what are we gonna do with them?"

"Who knows my love?" Calvin said, kissing your forehead.

You couldn't have been happier than at that moment.

[beewithknee]

of dysphoria and euphoria

redactober !

trans elliott/sunshine hurt/comfort

As soon as Elliott woke up, he could tell that something was wrong. There was an odd pain in his stomach and his thighs were suspiciously warm. Throwing back the covers, the sight he was met with was one that the dreamwalker had hoped never to re-live.

Blood.

Sure enough, Elliott's boxers and sheets were stained with the red liquid.

The normally happy man's lip quivered at the very blunt reminder that he, in fact, was not a real guy. Tears built up in his eyes as he ran to the shower.

Honestly, he couldn’t stand showering unnecessarily, having to look in the mirror usually wasn't something he could face. Having his powers also made things difficult; shifting into dreams allowed him to adapt his form to that of a cisgender man.

Waking up afterwards though...

It left his chest hollow and aching at the reminder of the incorrect areas lining his body.

Water poured from the shower head as Elliott stripped, purposefully avoiding the mirror. He carefully stepped in, bracing his hand against the cold tile. He couldn't hold it in any longer as he slid to the floor, knees to chest and sobbed into his legs. He used to be so much better at dealing with his… period.

But after starting testosterone, he hadn't gotten one in over 2 years. Elliott's eyes drifted down to his chest as another wave of tears fell over him.

This wasn’t him. His body wasn't right. Nothing fit like it was meant to. 

He loathed that he had been forced into a state that caused him so much pain. He hated being abnormal.

There were only a few people that knew about his transition and only a small percentage of them actually accepted him for it. One person Elliott knew he could rely on was his Sunshine. God, they had saved his life.

When Elliott had asked them out and Sunshine said yes, he swore his heart stopped dead in his chest for a moment. 

Thoughts of his partner swam around his mind and succeeded in cheering him up a touch, before he remembered that he didn't have any of the sanitary products he needed. 

The dreamwalker logically knew that his partner would do anything to help, wouldn't judge. But the thought of having to admit that he needed such feminine products was suffocating. Standing up, he stuck his head under the spray and cranked up the heat.

The hurting man allowed the water to wash away his thoughts for a while. After he deemed himself clean enough and actually ready to face the world, he jumped out, stuffing tissues into his boxers and making a mad dash to the bedroom.

There he sat, phone in hand, trying to sum up the courage to actually press the button.

His hands shook violently as he did. "Hey Elliott." He could hear the smile in their voice.

"Hi Sunshine," he whispered back. Tears pricked his eyes and he angrily clenched them shut. 

"What's up?"

"Can you..." he trailed off, pausing. His heart was thundering in his chest. With a tight throat, he tried again. "Can you bring me some pads on your way home?"

They paused for a moment, "Of course, Eli. Do you need a new heating pad or ibuprofen?" Bless his Sunshine. He sniffled slightly, lip quivering from anxiety and relief.

"No, I just need the pads... and you." Elliott wasn't used to feeling the overwhelming nerves running through his system, but the thought of his partner being disgusted by him was nearly too much. 

The lovers exchanged goodbyes, and Elliott was left staring at the floor of their bedroom for many minutes. 

A knock broke his trance, "Yeah?"

"I'm home, baby. I've got your stuff."

He sighed in relief, "Thanks Sunshine." He paused in front of them, placing a kiss to their lips. He'd never get tired of kissing them. 

Quickly changing, Elliott hurried through the motions. Nausea built in his stomach as he did. 

He stumbled back into their bedroom. Looking up, he stopped dead. 

Sunshine had built him a little nest of snacks, blankets and soft things. "I know you said you didn't want anything, but I couldn't help myself. I hope it's not too much." They explained sheepishly, cheeks lightly dusted pink as they looked around the space. 

Elliott flung himself onto the bed and into the nest, collecting them into his arms. "Nothing you do is ever too much. Thank you Sunshine. This means so much." He promised, kissing them hard to prove his words. They giggled into his mouth, hands coming up to run through his damp hair. 

"Alright, settle down. Get comfy cause we're not moving 'til dinner." They grinned, arms outstretched. He shuffled into their embrace, face nuzzling into the side of their neck. His lower stomach was wrapped in a heating pad and their warm palms danced over his aching back. 

He sighed heavily, the exhaustion of anxiety finally hitting him. "Do you need anything else, Eli?" They whispered, lips placing a kiss to the top of his head. 

"Just you." He whispered back. His arms tightened around their middle. 

He was sickeningly in love with his Sunshine. With the one person who never made him feel less-than worthy. Who never questioned his feelings, only offering comfort as best they could. 

"I love you."

"I love you too, pretty boy." 

He smiled sleepily, limbs growing heavier with every pass of their hand down his back. The pain and discomfort was still very much present, but maybe, just maybe, he could find solace in his lovers arms for a while.

[wolfpants]

unfinished fridays

I've been thinking a lot about the WIP I abandoned for my original @dronarryfest entry. I put a lot of work into the worldbuilding of this, the plot and narrative, but it became something way bigger than I could feasibly handle - especially in approach of the deadline. Maybe one day I'll finish it, this Ron-centric forced bonding (Dron, with endgame Dronarry) chamber play. Let me know if you'd like to see more, and maybe I'll pick it up again before the end of the year.

Meanwhile, do you have any unfinished WIPs you think about often? Tagging (no pressure) @skeptiquewrites @kbrick @getawayfox @tackytigerfic @sweet-s0rr0w @oknowkiss @maesterchill @thehoneybeet @phdmama @the-starryknight

-

From: Precious Metal, Dron-centric, Dronarry endgame

Malfoy puts his hands on Ron’s upper arms and spins him around, ushering him back inside. His fingers are surprisingly warm, the skin of his hands soft as he plants them firmly on Ron’s bare back and shoves him into the cottage so he can close the door behind them.

“I thought we were trying not to die, Weasley.”

“Wh-wh—” is all about Ron can manage, and he swears, frustrated, through shivering lips. 

Malfoy’s muttering something about how stupid Ron is, and Ron is just letting it happen, just like he’s letting Malfoy drag him into the bathroom. 

The spider plant’s gone.

Malfoy pulls his wand from the waistband of his posh trousers and points it at the bath. In seconds, the stained tub fills with cloudy water and the room steams up with the aromatic scent of bergamot. 

“Don’t ask me why,” Malfoy says sharply when Ron’s mouth makes a small ‘o’. “My conjured hot water’s always smelled like that.”

“M-m-mi—”

“Oh, for fuck sake, Weasley.” Malfoy shudders, rubbing his hands over his own arms as he wraps them around himself. “Get in! Before you kill us both!”

Ron leaves his pants on as he awkwardly steps over the rim of the bath, one leg at a time. He shivers and slowly bends to sit, blinking as the water laps around him, hot but not hot enough to hurt. 

He was right. His knees do come up to his chin.

Malfoy’s shuddering subsides, and after a beat, he rolls up his sleeves and sinks to the tiled floor. 

“Wh-what--re—y—”

Malfoy dips a hand into the water behind Ron’s curved back. Ron squirms away, staring at him in alarm, his arms wrapped around his knees protectively.

Malfoy runs a wet hand down the dry top half of Ron’s back. The warm water soothes his skin, trickling between his shoulder blades.

“Idiot,” Malfoy whispers again.

Ron lets out a slow breath. His heart stops pattering wildly against his ribs, and the feeling steadily returns to his extremities. 

“Mine smells like apples,” he says, resting a cheek on one knee.

“Beg pardon?” Malfoy asks. His touches are oddly—tender. Well-practised.

 I have a family to look after.

“My conjured hot water,” Ron mumbles. “Smells like apples. Red ones. Malfoy?”

Malfoy hums in response. He pulls his hand from the bath and shakes it out. Water sprinkles off his skin and into the air, the droplets catching the light outside the window. His wedding ring, unlike his others, is gold.

“Are you a father?”

Ron realises, suddenly, that he doesn’t know.

“What?” Malfoy asks, drying a hand on one of the towels Bill and Corner brought with them last night. 

“Do you have a kid?”

Malfoy clears his throat and looks down at what he’s doing: meticulously twisting the towel over each finger, ensuring every inch of skin is completely dry.

“I don’t, no,” he says quietly. “Though not for lack of trying.” His eyebrows snap together; he reacts to his own words like he’d been slapped. He works his jaw, regret flooding his gaze as he looks back at Ron. “Forget I said that, please.”

[jess-the-reckless]

Nonsense continues apace. I've already got almost 8k of this down, and it's GROWING. Oh God.

There was a ballet going on above Crowley’s head. Well, a ballet class. Judging by their thunderous footfalls, the kids currently using the upstairs room of the church hall were going to need a lot more lessons before they mastered the butterfly grace of professional dancers. Crowley had the downstairs room, and the use of an overhead projector. Shaking off a sense of déjà vu, she adjusted her first slide and turned to face her audience. “Right,” she said, whipping out an ebony pointer leftover from her days as ‘Mr Harrison’. “Let me tell you about plants. They have three needs – light, water, and taking advantage of your generosity. Biggest one is the third – taking the pi…taking advantage. For some of them? It’s never enough. You can give a plant all the light and water in the world. Fertiliser, too. You can even bust out the Baby Bio on them, but they will give you no quarter.” She smacked down the pointer for emphasis. “It’s not enough for them. They won’t be satisfied until they’ve got into your heads. How, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. They will wilt. They will get leaf spots. They will pretend – very convincingly, sometimes – to be dead. These are the ways in which plants will attempt to emotionally manipulate you into thinking you’re not taking proper care of them. Even when you are. Your job, as gardeners, is to never give them an inch. Is that clear?” There was a faint rumble of assent, but it was mostly drowned out from above by the elephantine thuds of small children hitting the floor to the strains of Prokofiev’s Peter and the Wolf. “Look to your right,” said Crowley. “Look to your left, because one of you won’t be here by the end of this gardening course. It is a war out there. Understand?” The troops nodded. Pathetic. “‘Yes, Miss’,” said Crowley. “Yes, Miss.” “Good. Louder.” “Yes, Miss!” “Better,” said Crowley. “Any questions?” A hand went up in the back row. “Can I go to the toilet, please?” Crowley sagged gently in despair. “Can you hold it?” The little girl – a tiny sprout of a thing – shook her head. “It’s a poo, Miss.” “Okay. Off you go.” Crowley sighed. “No, not that way. They’re still re-tiling in there. You’ll have to go to the ones in the car park. You…are you her brother? Can you take her to the toilet? Thank you. Right. Any other questions? Plant related this time, please.”

[cloudwhisper23]

Two ways this could go. I have the brain capacity to write a taste of each (I made this poll too long and now I've made myself wait a week, and I'll probably be writing more stuff in between anyway for context purposes, I guess), so you're getting a taste. Of each. Happy voting!

Death Michael scrambled back from Freddy's looming form. His eyes had long stopped lighting up, and the music box was silent. Michael saw the faint shadows of Foxy and Bonnie as well, but Michael hadn't seen Chica all night. She'd been in the kitchen.

This wasn't a fluke, Michael knew. They'd been fine with him before, just harassing him for fun all the time. Now, it seemed something had changed. Scott had said something about the classics hating when two guards were in the office, and it was clear that he was right. Michael was relieved to have the foresight to tell Cassidy to hide in his employee locker. She'd scowled at him, but the intensity of Bonnie's pounding at the door had eventually convinced her.

Michael just hoped she wasn't preoccupied with Chica. He had a chance if Cassidy could get Scott on the line.

Freddy's ears wriggled as he stepped forward, trying to seem more intimidating. Did the animatronics not realize how frightening they looked at night anyway? But Freddy was the leader of the band, and he was expected to be a showman. It shouldn't have been surprising.

Michael slowly sat up from his position on the floor. "Look-"

Freddy's hand was around his neck before he could speak. Michael made a choking wheeze as his feet left the floor. The other two animatronics watched silently as Freddy aggressively slammed Michael into the shelves. Animatronic parts showered down on top of him, and Michael covered his face. One shelf completely dropped, landing on top of Michael with a sharp crack.

Michael's legs gave out completely, and he could barely lift himself with his hands as Freddy stepped back.

"We don't listen to fancy-talkers like you," Foxy said, echoing one of his performance lines. It was much more chilling in this situation, so Michael shut his mouth. There would be no mercy.

Foxy squatted in-front of Michael, forcing him to meet the pirate's seemingly blank gaze. The exposed metal of Foxy's hand dug into Michael's face, and he tried not to flinch as Bonnie came away from the door and ripped his glasses from his face. They clattered on the tiled floor. Bonnie lifted his foot as if to crush them, and Michael cried out.

"No, wait! Stop!" Bonnie turned to Michael with a tilt of his head. "Please... don't break my glasses."

It was ridiculous. The fear of death would always be outweighed by his fear for his glasses. No matter the situation, Michael's automatic instinct was to protect his sight.

Bonnie didn't seem to care. He turned back, preparing to stomp down, and just before he hit them, Freddy scooped the glasses from the floor. He gave Bonnie a long hard look before throwing the glasses into his mouth.

Michael couldn't help the slight cry at that, but Freddy seemed content to remain back. Bonnie swung back around to hit Michael in the face, seeing as Foxy still had a secure grip on it. The force from Bonnie's punch not only broke Michael's nose, but it forced his head back. Foxy's hand was now covered in blood as well. Satisfied, the rabbit finally went to stand beside Freddy, guarding the door.

Foxy's hum brought Michael back into himself. The fox dragged him away from the collapsed shelf and studied him for a moment. He seemed amused by Michael in a way the others were not. "No villain escapes this pirate fox," he said, throwing Michael against the suit slumped against the wall.

Michael blinked the tears from his eyes and saw a yellow blur, with what appeared to be a large brown strip leading down from its jaw. He shuddered, knowing exactly which animatronic this was. They never even bothered to clean up the blood, he thought to himself as Foxy dug his hand into Michael's shoulder.

Inhaling sharply, Michael moved his gaze to the red blur in front of him. He had to at least pretend to be looking, surely. The last thing Michael heard was Foxy's chuckle before everything went black.

Survival

Freddy's grip did not relent, even as they arrived in Parts and Service. Bonnie and Foxy were alert, watching Freddy's every motion. The animatronic bear slammed Michael aggressively against the steel table in the center of the room, seeming to enjoy the sound of bones breaking in Michael's body.

Freddy lifted him from the table, tossing his mangled form towards Bonnie. It seemed they had a system of doing things. Blearily, Michael realized his glasses must've flown from his face at some point. He couldn't see much more than vague shapes as Bonnie lifted him from the floor using his shirt. The weight of Michael's entire body was too much for the cheap material, however, and the shirt tore, dropping Michael on the ground.

Bonnie made a frustrated noise, and stomped down hard on Michael's right arm. Pain and rage flared in Michael's body at that. He could endure this kind of torment. He had, plenty of times in the past. But nobody had ever broken his right arm before. The left one? He'd broken that several times over the years. Without a strong support in his right, Michael couldn't do his job anymore. He wasn't reliable anymore.

Michael's howl echoed in the mostly empty pizzeria. Cassidy shuddered from her spot in the security office, where she was desperately trying to contact anybody who could do something. The tears were already falling from her face as she hit the call button, hoping beyond hope that the daytime security guard would answer his phone.

The lights flickered on again as Cassidy hit the call button. Jeremy Fitzgerald answered the phone on the fifth ring. "Hello?"

Cassidy tried to give him the rundown as soon as she could, and she could hear the panic in Jeremy's voice as he asked questions.

The last thing he said before hanging up was, "I'll be there in five minutes."

Meanwhile in Parts and Service, Michael was pressing his left hand into a wound in his abdomen. Freddy had not been pleased with his success in restarting the power, and he'd broken the camera in the corner of the room.

It was a stalemate. For whatever reason, Michael just wouldn't die. The animatronics were clearly getting fed up with it, and Michael would only glare at them. He knew the rules. They were ingrained in his mind by now. No tampering with the animatronics. He wasn't allowed to fight back under any circumstances, even if it killed him.

Bonnie made another lunge for him, trying to break Michael's spine. They all heard the bones snapping, and Michael thought he was dead for sure. He couldn't move, at the very least. Just when things started to grow dark, someone opened the back door of the restaurant.

Bonnie was moving immediately, and some stupid urge in Michael's brain told him to get up, to do his job. Shockingly, he was able to inch his arm to try to move from the floor. He heard the sound of heavy footsteps and the slamming of the security door, and his relief dropped him back to the floor.

Freddy nudged him, even as Foxy moved toward the door, but Michael didn't move again. Faintly chuckling to himself, the animatronic bear went to leave the room, satisfied with his victory.

Get up, Michael told himself. Everything hurt, yet it was starting to recede. When he tried to crawl to his feet this time, he succeeded. I need to get out of here.

There was no way he'd be able to manage finding his way back to the security office, not when the animatronics were so determined to kill him. Michael supported himself on the table, his hands slippery with blood. Somehow he wasn't bleeding anymore, just as his bones weren't broken anymore. Michael would stop to question that later.

He didn't want the guard in the office to come around to play hero. He needed to get out of there without the camera seeing him.

The second the red light turned off, Michael shot across the dining area and curled up next to the exit door. He could wait here all night if he had to. This would be fine.

He gripped the doorknob to try to lift himself up, and the door opened. Michael stumbled outside, dazed by the light of the parking lot. He couldn't go back to work, obviously. It was against his contract to walk out during his shift, and they wouldn't pay him for the last two weeks if they knew. And they always knew.

Michael looked down at his destroyed uniform and pondered for a moment. The animatronics had done quite the number on him, and it was amazing that he was even alive at all. He hated the idea as soon as it came to him, but the idea of faking his death seemed more than a little bit tempting. Fazbear Entertainment would suspect him of dying if he disappeared now, and based on the mess he'd made in Parts and Service, it was more than a little plausible for him to have just vanished.

They'd give a stipend to his family, especially since Evan and Elizabeth were still in school (not to mention the fact that their father had run off long ago). He wouldn't be hurting anything by going away, and if anything, this would help more than managing to maintain his current job.

Michael felt guilty for the guards in the office, especially Cassidy. But they'd recover. Freddy's was infamous for mysterious disappearances, after all.

[anewnewcrest]

From Lily Graham's Simstagram

Baker and I are so sad to see my father-in-law Mark move back to Willow Creek, but we're overjoyed to finally see him married to his wife Kathryn, and we don't have any time to mope! We've been so busy renovating our new house! It was lovely to be snug in our tiny trailer, but with Zoe growing up so fast, we're happy to have a nursery for her, and more space for her to crawl around!

I'm so excited to finally become a homeowner, and it's been such an exciting adventure to finally get to paint and decorate the way I want things to be! I've never had that pleasure before, we slept in the kitchen when I was a child, and of course we didn't have a budget for decorating! Baker and I've updated all the walls to be a more neutral color, painted all the kitchen cabinets, got new sofas and a new table, and of course new nursery furniture for little Zoe! Baker said no to re-doing the floors and the bathroom tiles because it'd be too much work, but we can get to that some other time, I'm sure! I love how everything came out, and I'm so grateful to my father-in-law and my wonderful husband for making it happen! Praise be!

[joeabdelsater3]

Defining the Forefront 3

In this blog post, I will be explaining texel density and how it could be used to achieve better results in creating textures for 3D assets and props for video games. I came across this concept during the feedback sessions and it was advised to me to check it out. For this reason, I chose to do some research on it and see how I’d be able to use it for my benefit

A key fact is that in the context of any game asset workflow, an appreciation and management of texel density is important for professional high-quality results. Although not absolutely required, texel density can help maintain a consistent look for all assets by choosing a constant texel density while creating a game or virtual environment content, or content for any other kind of digital media, then maintaining constant texel density throughout your models is one way to assure a consistent, appealing look of any sort.

To begin, I will explain the concept the way I came to understand it: a texel is short for "texture element" and is a unit of a texture map. It basically sets out how detail should be applied or distributed onto the surface of a 3D object's mesh or geometry. Unlike a pixel, that represents one color points in a 2D image that can be painted, a texel rather relates to the surface area of the 3D model and defines the resolution and sharpness of the texture when it is applied on to the model. So essentially, when we talk about texel density, what we're talking about is how many texels would exist inside a given amount of 3D space on the model. According to the video, without it, you may get the unwanted situation where one part of the model looks sharp and detailed, while another part appears blurry and stretched.  Although, while talking to practicing 3d artists that work at game studios a lot of them seem to mention that the company that they work at has not integrated texel density into their pipeline. That being said, they all agree that consistency is usually very important for immersion in a game which is why it is advised to make use of texel density anyway.

From what I understood from the YouTube tutorials, both artists use this method to maintain texel density within applications such as Maya, which I could similarly do. An example of how I could take it on would be defining the baseline/standard texel density from the beginning before beginning with the unwrapping, such as having 1 unit of Maya be 10.24 pixels, then maintain that standard for all models for my project. This approach is especially beneficial for large projects, such as when I'm creating the stylised environment in Unreal Engine where I want the assets to maintain visual coherence. One the other hand, I feel like I could skip this step if I wanted to for props that will be far away from the camera.

The way it was demonstrated in the video is that at first, a checkered texture map is applied to a plane in Maya, and then the scale is adjusted until the texels reach the desired density. I've been doing that as well for my own assets before beginning my UV unwrapping process. Once I had this checkered plane, every other model could be cross-checked to fit the original density by comparing UV shells to it. It could also be done automatically and it will save me plenty of time rather than having to try everything through trial-and-error methods. All the textures remain consistent once inside Substance Painter and UE5 later on. To decide on a specific texel density, I made sure to research what texel density most game studios use, specifically for FPS games. I also found out that the UV tile or texture resolution used can often alternate between 1K an 2K for new FPS games, so I decided to do most of mine in 2K due to UE5's powerful rendering capabilities, and the fact that it's a cinematic video I am producing. Knowing that Unreal Engine handles high-res textures really well makes so many things easier and by keeping all of my assets at the same texel density, I hope I can prevent common problems such as flickering, blurring, or aliasing of textures in cases when different parts of the scene have been rendered with an inconsistent level of details.

Additionally, this technique can help me optimize the texture maps applied and help with performance. When my work is structured that way, then it becomes really easy to estimate how much texture resolution is required for an asset; hence, for the portions of the model that do not require really high resolutions I could use that to ensure textures on objects further away from the camera or partially hidden parts don't too much memory. This method could also be combined with the use of LODs (level of detail) in UE5 which allows to manipulate both texture and resolution depending on the distance between player/camera and assets, to improve optimisation.

In short, it was very insightful to know that mastering texel density with the method I explained, can benefit me in maintaining quality texturing for all your models. This consistency, when applied in Unreal, translates to making the final environment look really polished and professional which sets me on track to building good habits that help me achieve a better workflow for my practice.

Source:

VirtualBoy. (2023). How to Master Texel Density in Maya for Crystal Clear Renders. YouTube. [online video] Available at: https://youtu.be/WEIcirHT154

Malcolm341 (2018). What is Texel Density and How to Master it. YouTube. [online video] Available at: https://youtu.be/5e6zvJqVqlA.

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[celestialmazer]

ICONIC & LEGENDARY

Loved when a tagline was when we plumb it so does the price 🤣

Connie's firebombed ducks and stolen gorillas - meet the man behind Glasgow’s most bizarre ads

Anyone who lives in the east end would be hard-pressed to miss the ads which are guaranteed to catch the eye. Those passing Todd Street may have even seen the Easter Bunnies which are only the latest brainchild of Glasgow's marketing genius.

By Jordan Shepherd 20:36, 7 APR 2024

https://www.glasgowlive.co.uk/news/glasgow-news/firebombed-ducks-stolen-gorillas-meet-28946461

From firebombed ducks to stolen gorillas - this Glasgow company has gifted locals with some of the most unique advertising campaigns the city has ever seen.

Anyone who lives in the east end would be hard-pressed to miss the ads which are guaranteed to catch the eye. Those passing Todd Street may have even seen the Easter Bunnies which are only the latest brainchild of Glasgow's marketing genius.

Glasgow Live went to speak to the man behind Glasgow’s most bizarre advertising. Cornelious Kelly, known as Connie, started as a taxi driver before starting his own plumbing business.

Now 15 years later he is known across the city for his bold and unique way of getting his name and company noticed. Speaking to Glasgow Live, he told us the story behind the ads.

He said: "I've been running Connie's which we recently re-branded to Big Duck Bathrooms for 15 years.

"I used to do the taxis and tile and plumb part-time and my wee girl one day asked me to put this duck on my car. It was an old ex-taxi that I used, so I told her of course I would and I bolted it just above the mirror. The car was getting binned in a year or two anyway so it was a bit of fun.

"Everyone noticed it and I got thinking that I'd had so many ads on cars and vans and no one paid attention. From there it just grew from one duck to another and people were bringing me back ones from abroad and I ended up with a van covered in about 15 ducks."

But ducks aren't the only creatures to become part of Connie's advertising master plan - he's had everything from mannequins in bathtubs to gorillas (that kept getting their legs nicked).

He continued: "We've always had bathtubs on the vans and one day a recycling shop across the road said they had some mannequins and we should put them in them. So I did it and they were a success so I kept them... until they were nicked a month later but they then looked weird without them so I got more.

"It's like with all of my adverts, you either love them or hate them. Some ideas have been a bit stupid, like when I bought Gorillas at £49 each and put them on trailers, the advert was meant to be Go-ri-lax in a Connie's bathroom but It didn't quite work.

"The problem was they kept being stolen and then they were cutting the legs off."

Connie says his favourite ad so far has been of a mannequin of a young girl in a bath which looked like she was on a swing while the van was covered in polka dots. Another he mentions is 'price plunger', which includes his face stuck on 'skinny legs' on a Superman-style body that was placed on a trailer at Glasgow Fruit Market.

Unfortunately on the night he placed it there, someone stole the wheels which cost £250 each. Meaning it is currently stuck there until he can find replacements.

His latest creation was for Easter with him placing huge Easter Bunnies on Todd Street in the East End - something he says has been a huge success with him now booked up for months with work.

However, he admits his adverts aren't always loved but he says that is part of the charm.

He added: "Love them or hate them it doesn't matter. What matters is that people notice them, they tell their friends about what they've seen or they'll complain online.

"You could see a thousand adverts and not remember any. But I bet you'd remember the huge duck sitting at the side of the road or the bathtub bolted to a van.

"I went back on Twitter a couple of days ago and saw a video of some of our old advertising. I had forgotten how mad some of them had been.

"Any advert that gets your name out there is a good one as long as you aren't harming anyone."

However, the love-hate approach has not always been a peaceful one, with him having to secure his vans previously after an unknown person repeatedly slashed the tyres of his vehicles.

Connie said: "We had to carry spare tyres for a couple of years because someone took a major disliking. We had a 16 foot duck we towed about with a taxi - it got firebombed in Easterhouse."

Asked if all the effort is worth it, he said: "The adverts work for us because they are aimed at normal people. I'll admit that people don't want to have mannequins in baths outside their house but it gets seen by thousands of people.

"If less than one per cent of them phone then it keeps us in work and 100 per cent ahead of all of the competition. I've tried to fling money at it with regular adverts and not had one call."

Connie says his next idea will be a large 'magic' box that will be placed where the Easter Bunnies are and if people guess correctly what's inside they win it. Everything from bikes to cash, toilet pans and bathroom suites will be up for grabs.

But growth isn't everything. He says that he was previously busier but downscaled because he had too many jobs and was doing nothing but work.

He continued: "I was doing seven bathrooms a week with no days off. It was getting between me and my girlfriend and then Covid hit and I had to take time off. I liked it and now I only work a couple of days a week."

However, despite being 63 years old he says he has no interest in slowing down or retiring. And despite downsizing, he says he is still tempted to expand, saying he is still 'young at heart'.

He adds that the people of Glasgow need not fear - his adverts will continue as long as he is physically able - and big ducks will continue appearing across the east end.

[coppeliafoxworth]

February 1st 2023

Yesterday and today were pretty slow.

Yesterday at work, me and my coworker (Andrew) had to replace an entire rooms worth of fiberglass ceiling tiles.  I think anyone who has dealt with fiberglass before can tell you this but, I. Hate. Fiberglass.

It's itchy, it gets stuck to everything, it burns, it's flaky, and for some reason it will be the strongest thing when you don't want it to be and yet the weakest thing when you want it to be strong.  

After replacing all the ceiling tiles, we split up as we were sent on small trivial tasks.

Once I clocked out I headed straight to Walmart.  My mother is planning on re-decorating the entire house and I took the oppurtuntiy to change up my room as well.  One of the things I'm changing is getting rid of my bulky dresser and instead putting small plastic ones in my closet.  I bought two plastic dressers at Walmart and then made my way home.

Once I was home, I immediately took a shower and changed my clothes to get rid of the fiberglass.  Thankfully it worked and I was able to go to dinner comfortably.

For dinner I took me and my lover to Red Lobster since during my last paycheck I was extrememly tight on cash and my lover ended up paying for when we ate out.  All in all it was a delicious meal.  The only thing I would change would maybe be the waitress we had.

I don't want to sound like a Karen, but she was pretty rude.  I ordered a pretty big meal so when asked what two sides I wanted I just asked for two orders of fries.  My lover ordered no fries for his sides.

When the waitress delivered our food I had one order of fries on my plate and another plate with fries on it.  She put the other plate by my lover.  No big deal, it was a lot of food so I reached over for them and she told me as if I was a child,

"YOUR fries are on YOUR plate."

That pissed me off to the point of debating whether or not to purge on her shoes right in front of her.  Obviously I didn't but the thought was most certainly there.

By the time we both got home we were ready to pass out into a food coma, in other words, I slept amazingly.

Today at work we didn't do much, in fact, we did even less than yesterday.  

The day started off with having to replace a drain in a hallway.  After a bit of fussing with the screws we were finally able to secure the drain plate.  Afterwards we had to redo one of the ceiling tiles in the conference room we replaced yesterday.  They didn't like how the emergency sprinkler head showed through the tile so we had to fix it.

After that we didn't really do anything besides replace a phone.

During my last entry I mentioned my father giving me unsolicited advice about work and saying that I was going to take it.  Well, I changed my mind.  I just don't feel like having a job that makes me think, "what if I just killed myself right here right now" constantly is healthy.  I've been applying to more places.

I thought I had some luck when I was mesaged on my phone for an interview with an insurance firm through Zoom.  I gave the number the email to my Zoom account and was immediately asked if I was ready.  

This interview was supposed to be a messaging interview, not a video call.  I told them the hours of my lunch break and an hour after I got off from work were the best times for me.  Well, they completely ignored what I said and asked almost every ten minutes if I was ready for an interview.  Eventually I caved in as, the work day was slow.  They asked if I've ever worked remotely and I said, "No."

Apparantly, answering with a simple yes or no to a simple yes or no question wasn't the correct answer and in response, the interviewer decided to explain how an interview works to me.  I told them that I understand and half an hour later is when we finally start the interview back up.  

At one point they asked to see my driver's license along with a selfie of me for verification.  Keep in mind that I already told them I am at work, they know I can't go get my license.  I told them again the hours I was available and why.  They didn't respond.

Since I didn't receive a reply, I asked why they needed my license in the first place since this was just an interview.  All the responded with was that they needed it for a background check and that I needed to send a photo.

The part that really messed me up was how they decided to end the response, "Understand?"

It pissed me off that this recruiter was this fucked up.  I told them, 

"No, I do not understand why you are talking to me like I'm a child.  I wish to withdrawal my application if this is the way you speak to your employees or coworkers.  Thank you and have a nice day.

Once I got home, I changed and immediately called my lover.  I decided to go to his house and we enjoyed the other's company.

[therealvalkyrie]

when to cradle, when to pry

Pairing/setting: Pro-hero!Bakugou Katsuki x Fem!Reader

Summary: As he re-learns the joys of loving you, Katsuki also learns how to help you back on your own feet when you need it.

Word Count: 1.4k

Warnings: reader has depression and self esteem issues, panic attack, fluffy comfort

AN: So, this is a sort of "in the aftermath" look at the relationship in you feel love in the sodium, from Katsuki's perspective. Honestly, I don't know what hit me last night but it just plopped down onto the paper from my brainsicle and I've decided it's worthy of seeing the light of day. Plus, it has the @katsupeach seal of approval and I trust Emme's brain much farther than I trust my own<33 As always, don't be afraid to come say hi in my inbox or DMs or comments, I always love when y'all do that:D Be kind to yourselves and others. ~valkyrie

prequel: you feel love in the sodium

Two weeks after moving back into your apartment, Katsuki comes home from the night shift to find you crying at the kitchen table. You don’t hear him come in -- don’t pick your head up out of your hands or stop sobbing as he hastily toes out of his boots and comes to your side.

“Hey, what’s up?” He’d been tired after a long shift, eyes drooping on the elevator ride up to your floor, but now his heart is pumping like he’s been doing rounds boxing with Kirishima. His hand clamps firmly around your forearm, to ground himself as much to ground you.

You jolt in your seat as he touches you, letting out a shocked hiccup that cuts off your tears.

“Oh, god,” you breathe. “Is it really that late? I’m sorry, I didn’t want--”

“You’re sorry? Fuck being sorry, what’s wrong?” His tone is maybe a little too sharp, but the way his stomach is flush with anxiety over your blotchy and wet face demands answers.

“I didn’t want--” you start, but have to stutter back more tears trembling on your lashes. “I didn’t want you to see, but I just-- I just-- shit--”

You can’t get a decent breath. Katsuki can see your chest rising too shallowly and sporadically. His hand leaves your arm to twist in your fingers and he finally lowers himself to sit at the table from where he’d been leaning over you.

“Breathe.” The command leaves as gently as he can make it from his mouth. “Don’t rush it.”

You nod, gripping his hand tight and focusing on where his eyes are boring into yours. Painstakingly, he waits as your lungs regulate and start working normally again. Your fingertips are chilly against his sweaty palm.

When your throat seems to unstick itself, you try again.

“I just really hate myself tonight.”

Your words are spoken too softly for their meaning. Katsuki’s never heard something so violent said with such careful reverence. The first response that threatens to pass his lips is altogether too aggressive, and the second would be entirely unhelpful. Four or five possibilities cycle through his mind before one his anger management counselor would deem appropriate pops up.

“Why?”

It’s a simple question, but one he would rather slice his own toe off than know the answer to. He doesn’t want to know why you hate yourself tonight, doesn’t want to hear and dissect the bullshit lies your depression is feeding you to make you feel this way.

But he thinks this is how he gets through without making you shut him out entirely.

Your lips twitch into a smile briefly -- like some part of you is happy to elaborate on how you suck -- before you answer him.

“Because I’m a fat, worthless college dropout with no prospects whose pathetic cries for attention earned her a pity boyfriend who has better things to do than pick her up off the floor every other day. Because I’m an awful, stupid person who does selfish things that hurt the people around her. Because I--” you interrupt yourself with a broken half-sob, half-laugh, and gesture with your free hand to the kitchen floor behind Katsuki. “Because I broke the fucking Pyrex.”

Katsuki follows your gesture, turning to see a mess of soapy water and glass all over the kitchen tile. For a moment, he just stares at it. Your words scatter through his mind until they rearrange themselves into something decipherable.

“You hate yourself,” he turns back to see you biting your lip, “because you broke the fucking Pyrex.”

“Yeah,” you say, looking for all the world like you expect him to start yelling. You blink at each other for a moment, until he bursts out with--

“I fuckin’ hate Pyrex!” He does yell it, but it shocks you so much that you stop looking so pathetic and start looking confused. “Shitty fuckin’ company,” he continues, finally letting go of your hand and standing up. “Says it’s shatter-proof, but look at this shit! Fuckin’ shattered.” He points at the mess, then pins you with the most deadpan face he can manage. “We should sue.”

“Katsuki.” You sniff and run a hand under your dripping nose. “Don’t be sarcastic.”

“I’m not, we should sue for emotional damages. Look at you.” Now, he steps closer into your space and chuffs a finger under your chin. “You’re distraught over-- what? A couple hundred yen of glass? We’ll suck the sons of bitches dry.”

It takes a second, but Katsuki sees the exact moment when the layer of melancholy over your face slips enough to allow clarity.

“Ha,” you laugh tonelessly. “You’re funny.”

“I’m a goddamn comedian. But before we sue a kitchenware company, let’s clean up their shitty trash and discuss more in-depth why my beautiful, intelligent girlfriend hates herself.”

Together, you clean up the glass and mop up the water. Katsuki finishes the half-done dishes in the sink while you go change out of wet pajamas. As the sunrise starts to creep in through the windows, turning your living room grey and breathing into Katsuki a new understanding of exhaustion, you cuddle on the couch and try to believe him when he tells you your brain is a dirty, filthy liar.

When he tells you that you’ve been his first choice since he was seventeen. When he reminds you that you did get your undergrad degree and that he’ll support you when and if you decide to go back to school. When he tucks his body into the curves of you and whispers worship into your skin.

It’s not the last time Katsuki comes home only to have to stack you back onto your feet. He gets better at it, learning when to pry and when to cradle. Learns how to tell you he needs a break in a way that won’t make you feel like a burden. As he re-learns the joys of loving you, he comes to view knowing this side of you as a privilege. To know the whole of you is to be trusted, to be known in return. To know you won’t think he’s weak for breaking down when his own shit gets too heavy.

Nonetheless, it’s not an easy thing to tell if the two of you will be okay. Not for a while, at least. There are moments when he can’t reach you, when he can’t find the right avenue in and becomes destructively frantic to keep you from slipping too far.

You try to break up with him again, once:

“I don’t want this anymore.”

“Bullshit, you don’t want it.”

“You don’t get to tell me--”

“Do you still love me?”

“I--”

“Well? Say it to my face, if you don’t.”

“I can’t--”

“Yeah. ‘Cause, you do. You do love me.”

“Sometimes, that’s not enough--”

“It’s enough for me. I love you. Let me love you.”

“Katsuki.”

“Baby. What’s this really about?”

And there are moments when he’s so manically in love he doesn’t feel real. When it’s just the two of you riding on a speed train through the countryside on the way home from a much-needed vacation. You lean your head into his neck and read aloud from your book, and he tries to keep his head from floating to the top of the train car.

And there’s a moment when you’re standing in the kitchen of your stupid, shitty apartment scrubbing brand new glass measuring cups and humming an indistinct tune that Katsuki feels the gravity of the afternoon he came back to you so fully he can’t breathe. One more day, another hour, if he’d ignored Izuku’s calls, and he wouldn’t have you. You might’ve been gone, too far for him or anyone to reach.

You pause in your humming and place a dish in the drying rack.

“What’s with the face?” Your voice, so blissfully normal and real against the storm in his chest, sends goosebumps across his skin.

“Fuck you,” he says, voice cracking with heatless emotion. “I can’t look at my hot girlfriend?”

That afternoon, he does a lot more than just look at you.

That afternoon, he can tell you’ll be okay.