#as I am wont to do
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Now open for Boops and Trick or Treating :3
#YIPPEE#I don’t put out candy I put out little blorbos#as i am wont to do#dbhc#dbhc sillies#trick or treat 24
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ghost who was chemically castrated by roba and soap who wants to help him to regain his sexual autonomy
nsfw, angst, roba, unnegotiated unsafe but consensual gun play, hopeful ending
💀🧼
ghost walks like it hangs low.
there’s a tilt to his hips and a spread in his thighs and johnny’s never been able to stop staring.
and ghost’s never asked him to.
he knows he’s seen him; he’s not exactly discreet. he swears he’s even seen him cock his hips out before to give him a better view. but he always pulls back just as they toe the line; verbal cold water on the tentative heat they almost can’t help but spark when they’re together.
it’s never a no; johnny’s not so selfish of a cunt that he’d push when he knows he isn’t welcome. it’s always a reluctance; an “i wish i could,” never in so many words. an open ended “but…” as ghost circles the reason without ever actually saying it. johnny knows it’s something personal, something more than a difference in rank could ever excuse.
so he backs off when ghost does, jokes instead of flirts and holds his breath through the agonising wait until ghost lets him in close again. waits to know if he’ll let him close again.
it’s almost anticlimactic, the end of their dance; his delicate steps and looping logic to work out why bulldozed as ghost comes out and says one random night, “i can’t fuck.”
it’s not bitter. it doesn’t grate coming out of his throat; he doesn’t spit it like it’s something to be ashamed, not twisted with insecurity as if it’s an accusation by an ex.
it’s a statement of fact.
“you can’t fuck,” johnny echoes anyway because even if it is the reason, the big why… it still doesn’t really answer anything.
“i can’t get it up,” he elaborates, this horrid blankness in his eyes like he’s reading from a script. “whatever you’re looking for, whatever you want- i can’t give it to you.”
johnny just looks at him, the chill air prickling his skin. “right,” he nods calmly. “because my interest in you starts and ends with your dick.”
that blank calm shatters. “johnny…” he warns.
“do you really think i’m that shallow?” he cuts in, curing himself for the way his voice breaks but he never thought ghost would think so low of him; that this whole time, ghost’s thought that’s the only thing he wants from him. “like i’d take you for a ride ‘n just drop you?”
“there’s a difference between not gettin’ it for one night and never gettin’ it at all,” ghost growls, turning his back on him to lean against the edge of the roof. his shoulders heave and the anger seeps from him in one long breath. “it’s not a hitch, johnny. not a performance issue or ptsd or whatever the fuck you’re thinkin’. it’s permanent. irreversible.”
irreversible.
johnny stops, cold creeping up his limbs and dousing his defensive anger. ghost is many things and when it comes to his words, chief amongst them all is deliberate. he didn’t say it’s unfixable. incurable.
irreversible.
johnny buries his selfish hurt and scuffs his boots, an unobtrusive warning of movement, and comes up beside him; just enough distance between them to catch their breaths. he leans back against the ledge and looks over the opposite side of the roof at the dark sky.
“mexico,” he murmurs. not an accusation. not even really a question but ghost collapses in on himself anyway; sinking into his crossed arms digging into the ledge.
“mexico,” he agrees just as quietly. “‘pparently, roba found it more entertaining to let me keep it but- cut the cords. more demeaning that way; cock’s gone, at least you don’t feel the urge. don’t have to look at the fuckin’ thing hang there when nothin’ fuckin’ works.
“it’s not ‘bout how i see you, johnny,” ghost promises and it’s almost apologetic. “but you like sex. eventually, you’ll want it. and i can’t give it to you. easier to just… not let it get to that point.”
johnny’s jaw flexes. everything in him wants to reject it, wants to protest that something as trivial as an orgasm is more important to him than ghost.
but he also knows words are useless here.
they stand there looking out into the gathering dark, tense silence hanging between them, and the only thing johnny knows is if he isn’t careful, he could lose the one person he cares about most.
💀🧼
ghost’s been uneasy since his abrupt confession.
he knows it was sudden, borderline cruel to dump his shit on johnny with no warning but he just couldn’t take it anymore; couldn’t take the back and forth when he knew it would never go anywhere, couldn’t take johnny’s hope when he knew he’d have to watch it twist into disgust and pity.
into disappointment.
he figures that’s the end of it; there’ll be no more flirting now, no more staring or heated looks, no more teasing him by spreading his knees out just to see the flash of hunger in his eyes. the control he felt playing with johnny knowing it was welcome, just because he could- he’ll never feel that again. not now that johnny knows the truth.
then he steps into his room to find johnny laying naked on his bed.
he’s not spread out like an offering, not throwing him some cheap sultry glance as he plays with himself. he’s not even hard; his cock limp over the cradle of his balls, his legs bent loosely together, arms under his head as if he’s settling down for the night.
ghost sighs and shuts the door behind him. “johnny…”
“i know,” johnny says and it’s gentle; not cutting him off, just getting his attention. “just… hear me out?”
there’s nothing else to say. there’s nothing johnny can say or do to fix his violated body. but ghost still crosses his arms and leans back against the door like he can anyway.
johnny pushes himself up and off the bed, closing the distance between them but still giving him enough space to breathe; to open the door behind him, to escape.
“i can never know what was taken from you,” he starts and ghost’s fingers dig into his arms. “i can never know what it means to you. and i can never get it back.”
he doesn’t break eye contact and slowly lowers himself to his knees. “but i can give you something else.”
“you?” ghost guesses flatly and as much as it warms his blood, as much as he’s imagined having johnny look up at him just like this… it’s still not enough to offset the sickening swoop in his gut when his cock doesn’t so much as twitch.
“i’m a nice bonus,” johnny purrs but his smile remains gentle. “but i’m not the main event.”
he lifts a hand and ghost readies to smack it away when he reaches for his thigh holster instead of his belt. he flicks the closing strap open and pulls his handgun, his favourite, free.
“you told me you can’t fuck,” he murmurs, popping out the clip. he taps it against the side and loads it back in with a practiced hit with the butt of his palm. “but fucking isn’t all there is.”
“johnny, what…” ghost starts just to cut himself off as johnny thumbs off the safety and loads a round into the chamber.
“you trust me?” johnny asks and it’s as loaded as the gun in his hand.
good then, that ghost knows the answer. “always have.”
johnny’s smile blooms with warmth, with pride, and it chases away any reluctance he could possibly feel. he lets him take his hands in his, wrapping them around the gun with his finger on the trigger guard. he brings the barrel up beside his temple, holding it steady before his hands fall away.
until it’s only ghost between him and a bullet.
johnny’s hands go to his belt, his movements slow enough for ghost to stop him long before he reaches his cock, forever hanging limp in his pants. but he just rubs the muzzle along his temple, almost nuzzling him with the gun as he pulls down his jeans and boxers.
he waits for johnny to take him in hand, maybe try and pantomime a handy, and his hips almost recoil at the thought.
but he doesn’t try to touch him.
instead, he takes his wrist and guides the gun to sit in front of his cock; angling it to follow the same slight curve he has then holds his hands behind his back like he’s standing at attention. he splays his knees wide, sinking deeper and ghost sucks in a harsh breath as johnny ducks under the gun; his eyes locked on his as he curls his tongue under the barrel and brings it into his mouth.
it takes every ounce of will he has to not let his hand shake around the gun as johnny gives it the slowest, messiest blowjob he’s ever seen; slowly rising higher on his knees, guiding the gun up with him as if it’s his cock hardening. his cheeks hollow as he sucks, tongue laving up the barrel and flicking out to play with the muzzle like a cockhead, moaning with every bob of his head until saliva drips off the metal and makes a mess of his chin.
ghost’s never felt so powerful as he does watching johnny hang off the end of his gun; watching his cock harden and drool between his legs without a single touch, knowing he could pull the trigger at any time and johnny would not only let him but he’d thank him.
the thought breaks him from his paralysis, drawing the gun from his lips and johnny immediately stills; rolling his wide eyes up like he’s trying to check on him. ghost pushes every ounce of heat into his gaze and cocks the gun to the side, slowly pushing it back in until johnny’s lips meet the trigger guard.
johnny whines as he fucks his mouth, thrusting his hips along with each long drag like the gun is an extension of his body; almost too rough as tears prick his eyes and his lips redden and bruise but he never asks him to stop; his cock leaking a puddle on the floor beneath him.
“you gonna cum for me, johnny?” ghost croons, holding back a groan when just his voice is enough to make him shiver. “gonna cum with my fucking gun down your throat?”
he gives a broken whimper, as close to an agreement as he can make, and ghost crowds in close. he grips the base of his mohawk, wrenching his head back until his throat is flush to the front of his thigh. johnny lets out a choked cry, eyes rolling back and he doesn’t hold back as he brutally fucks his face; feeling the bulge of his gun in his throat against his leg.
“come on, johnny; you wanna be my good little holster?” he growls and makes sure he’s watching as his finger moves from the guard to the trigger. “then take my fucking load.”
he forces the gun as deep as he can and johnny gags, his shaking body locking up as he cums untouched; painting the floor and ghost’s boot, cock twitching and pulsing hard enough to bump against his belly and leave a string of cum threading from it to his cock.
ghost watches him spasm and moan, his throat convulsing around the gun and a heated knot of satisfaction tightens in his gut; so close to the memory of an orgasm, he’s almost dizzy with it.
johnny slumps forward, his hands slipping from behind his back, and ghost quickly flicks the safety back on and drops to his knees. he slides the gun away and pulls johnny forward to collapse into his chest, taking his weight off his knees; his whole body trembling with aftershocks.
“you’re crazy, johnny,” ghost whispers, awed, and feels him smile against his chest.
“aye,” he agrees, voice raspy from his gun scraping up his throat. “how else am i supposed to prove that i mean it?”
ghost tries not to tense up; tries not to let hope sink its cruel roots into his chest. “mean it?”
johnny pulls back, his cheeks still flushed and sticky with spilled tears. “i’m yours, ghost; in any and every way you’ll have me,” he promises. “sex or no sex. this can never happen again and i’ll still never stop wanting you. it doesn’t matter to me as much as you do. you’re everythin’ to me, ghost. not your body; not what you can give me. just you.”
a knot crowds in his throat. “and you needed to deep throat my pistol to prove that?” he deflects.
and just like always, johnny lets him. “worked, didn’t it?” he winks. “you fucked my brains out.”
ghost rolls his eyes to hide the softness he knows is flooding them and helps johnny up and gets him into his shower; cleaning him of the sweat and cum and spit covering his body.
that ghost covered his body in.
his chest hitches at the reminder as he strips himself down to a single layer and all but falls into bed, tugging johnny in after him when he hesitates just slightly at the edge of the bed; splaying his still naked body over him, sated and loose.
“i really do mean it,” johnny whispers into the crook of his neck sometime later; when their breaths have settled and synced.
ghost sweeps his fingers up and down the length of his spine, skin he’s never seen. skin he now knows every inch of. “i know you do,” he whispers back.
and for once, he thinks it might be enough.
#hello i am once again thinking about erectile dysfunction#as i am wont to do#and how such a major loss of identity and control can seriously mess you up#thats very much the theme of this one#as much as its obviously about gunplay and how hot that is its also about regaining that control over yourself#ghost was imasculated and violated#its not really about sex and soap knows that; its about retaking what was stolen from him#the power that ghost feels is hugely important to his journey to healing#and they almost definitely arent going about it the best way but hey if it works it works#also just a little thing#but both of them nonverbally setting the boundary of soaps hands being behind his back meaning the scene is going actually makes me melt#the second soaps hands come forward not only do they both take it as the end of the scene but ghost takes it as soap not being present#enough to continue#hes slipped deep enough into subspace or hes exhausted enough that he cant hold position which means the scene is over#i love them so goddamn much#anyway i have a lot of issues with control being taken for me and why else does ghost exist if not for me to project my issues onto him!#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#ghostsoap#soapghost#ghoap#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#soap cod#john soap mactavish#cod mw2#cod fic
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hang on i'll be right back
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Feels kind of weird posting my drawings online since I don't really think of what I do as "real drawing". I don't really "draw" draw, I just like to make copies of cartoons sometimes because it feels satisfying and relaxing.
Then again, there is skill involved that took time and effort to cultivate, and "real" drawings do utilize references and copying, so I suppose just because I'm not creating something new doesn't mean I'm not "really" drawing, but I still don't think of myself as on the same level drawing-wise as someone who draws original stuff.
#my hobby isn't drawing it's forgery#in all seriousness this post isn't meant to be self-disparaging in anyway#it's contemplative#i got some very nice praise for my princess tutu drawing that i posted for a joke#and at first i felt like a fraud#but while i was writing a clarifying reblog i started thinking about...well all of the above#no my forgeries (very funny to call them that) aren't the same as original pieces#but there is in fact skill and effort put into them#I've got the terrible forgeries from middle school in my closet to prove it#so maybe... it's alright to accept some praise? maybe that's okay to do#idk#i may be overthinking things#as i am wont to do
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We Best Love hits so much harder on rewatch, when you already know Gao Shi De is leaving for America after graduation and just trying to steal some precious time with Zhou Shu Yi with no expectation of having his affections returned. He is absolutely stunned when Shu Yi starts liking him back.
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Spoilers for Princess Peach: Showtime
...Kind of? It's less about the overall story and more about my thoughts about some of the individual plays. I'll put my brain words under the cut if you want to avoid those kinds of spoilers.
I had a lot of fun with this game. Still am, actually; I'm really just completing the ninja hide and seek challenge, beating the final boss again, and buying the last decorations for the Sparkle Theater (I already got all the ribbons and sparkle gems on the first playthrough because I am shy and quirky :))
I've heard mixed opinions about the game from varying parts of the internet. Mostly things about the simple game play and story, that kind of thing (I think someone said it felt condescendingly easy? Which... feels too intentionally meanspirited? I don't know, I like to think the better of people and things), but in my honest opinion, I'm having a great time.
I guess I'm mostly writing to talk about the plots of some of the individual plays. Most of the time, you get something straightforward and fairly benign: Magical thorns have trapped the king in the castle and you have to cut them down with your sword! All the cookies were stolen before the baking festival and you need to make new ones! Some scientists were taken to an alien world and you have to beat up the aliens to save them! Someone stole something from the museum and you have to solve the case!
...But then you get some plays that are just... too real? Or at least super serious. Things like:
People turn into sweet-ravenous zombies on Halloween after eating a strange guy's "delicious and dubious" cookies (just for you!) and you have to cure them with your better baked goods before they stampede the bakers to death (Pâtissier Level 2)
An old man kidnaps four young women from a village for purposes that are never actually mentioned or explained (Kung Fu Level 2)
There's a plot to plant a bomb in a building and you have to find it before the whole town blows up (Detective Level 2)
You have to race against the clock to save the Cowgirl Sparkla from getting run over by a train (Cowgirl Sparkla Level)
A group of bandits are actively demolishing entire towns and leaving people homeless with a big evil train (Cowgirl Level 2)
The Dashing Thief Sparkla is being suspended with electric shackles and you have to free him one lock at a time by going through wormhole doors (this one's more of an interpretation, but I can only imagine how painful being suspended in a big electric orb is) (Dashing Thief Sparkla Level)
And those are just the ones I remember off the top of my head! There might be other ones I'm forgetting about that are also bizarrely serious!
This isn't to say I don't like these levels; I had/have a lot of fun with them! I really like the outfits and the gameplay of each level! And a few of the villains are fun and memorable, too (the snake boss, the kung fu mini boss, and the ice skater mini boss in particular come to mind).
I guess I just wanted to know if anyone else who played this game saw these levels I mentioned and thought: "huh... they are a little weird, aren't they?"
#me talking#princess peach showtime#spoilers#kind of#I imagine that everyone who wanted to play PPS has either beaten it or watched a playthrough of it if they can't afford it#so I don't think a lot of people would feel spoiled by these summaries#still#better safe than sorry#I am legitimately having a good time with this game#I hope I didn't come across as sarcastic#I just took this really seriously I guess#as I am wont to do
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astarionmancers: question
i'm vaguely aware that there are 2 alternate conversations with astarion in act 2 where he confesses that he manipulated the player; one that triggers after respecting his autonomy while talking to araj at moonrise, and one that triggers if you reach max approval (i believe). is the one where you reach max approval the famous "i had a nice simple plan" conversation?
#i got the araj convo last night and i plan on reloading and going for the max approval one just to See Whats Going On#as i am wont to do#but ive never seen a side by side comparison of how those conversations go#so i am Curious
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It’s getting pretty crazy outside….and there’s a tornado watch…
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Gonna go watch a school play but that’s not important, what is important is that my mum just brought up the ending of Endeavour in the car so now I wanna cry a little bit
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sorry i wanted to talk about how nmcu queer people came before unnamed gay russo brother but this has spiraled into complaining about karen page
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going to make a strange and maybe even bad post
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/cfcc250179a246e0a1986f68d81b3000/0b93f79304518601-33/s540x810/d1145309d171528dcd656a42e4b65bab00000034.jpg)
'Yuu!'
#twst#twisted wonderland#art#ram's art#ace trappola#deuce spade#twst grim#twst yuu#haha hey what if i drew something self-indulgent--#something something yuu's leaving and they cant come back and the first years arent too happy 'bout it lol#i would have drawn the other first-years but. i couldnt fit them properly so. oops#felt like doing something simple but still fun to draw lol#i try not to post any of my 'angst' stuff but#yea#anyways im such a sucker for the first years caring about each other - ('specially the original trio of yuu ace and deuce)#i am also a big ol grim fan - i love that he cares about us in his own silly way#if you've read my tags so far - can you guess the song i was listening to on loop whilst drawing this lmao#(to narrow it down it's in pro/ ject sekai :] )#(hoping it wont show up in that game's tags lol)
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Keeper -- a short comic about an angel meeting a robotic lighthouse keeper that doesn't know the world has already ended. Made in about 18 hours for a 24-hour 24-page* black and white comic challenge (that I arrived late to, ha.)
*the actual submission does not include the cover, which was created after the fact for this post.
This was a really great learning experience as someone who's... never really made a completed comic. I ended up really attached to the story by the end of the project (possibly due to all-nighter deliriousness lol) and ultimately am very proud of what I made.There are some things I'd still like to change, particularly text placement, but in keeping with the spirit of the challenge I've elected to leave it as is.
#sparks art#comic#angel#robot#my art#my comics#keeper: the angel#keeper: the lighthouse keeper#my ocs#hoogh. this was a grind yall lmao. but i am pleased with it#i hope you enjoy :pray: also keep your fingers crossed for me that this wins the contest#like it. it wont. because i am up against actual SEQA kids that know what theyre doing. and i dont actually mind really#but it would be funny#long post#very long post#sorry#i hope the readmore works
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oh to sleep in the warm embrace of your catboy coded boyfriend
#the universal experience of really needing to get up but not doing it just so u wont disturb your cats nap on your lap#logan never sets his priorities Straight am i right guys ahah#they are BOTH catcoded btw 🫡#my art#wolverine#nightcrawler#logurt#logan howlett#james logan howlett#kurt wagner#nightwolves#nightclaws#marvel#xmen#x men fanart#ghostlydoodles#artists on tumblr
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long way home
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#megumi#yuuji#maybe doing bg studies is the activity of choice while waiting fr leaks its so good 2 zone out n not think fr hours#can't stress about canon if you're busy studying window grates and ac units#this ws gonna start as a more train station-y piece#but as i am wont to do i got swept up during my pinterest dive#brought me further and further in2 small town train crossings and i thought they looked so cute#so i am like. puts itfs there :)#i love the idea of them just . meandering whatever quiet town they end up settling down tgt in post-canon#discovering hidden alleys n meeting all the strays holding hands th entire time....#i am manifesting PEACE and TRANQUILITY goddamn it#also i realized after the last domestic itfs series tht my use of red is at an all time low?????? leaning heavy in2 the green/yellow lately#here also . but i like the lil pops of red i included i think it centers them#happy w this!! happy w my me!! as long as i ignore the fact that indoor environments exist maybe backgrounds arent all tht bad :3
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guy who hasn't even finished their first carving yet voice: i want to carve a series after the various taxidermy war pigeons 😩 cher ami and kaiser and g.i. joe and--
oooh... oh wait, maybe just famous taxidermy pigeons in general. sweet martha the passenger pigeon...
#in any case my camel is coming across nicely#just trying not to work on it for long stretches that will ensure that i burn out on it immediately#as i am wont to do#man now i'm looking at various taxidermy of famous animals and it fills my heart with something#not sure what it is#but it's significant#prattling about the self
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