#artist: broken social scene

[haveyoulistenedtothisalbum-poll]

Tracklist:

We Are Sex Bob-Omb • Scott Pilgrim • I Heard Ramona Sing • By Your Side • O Katrina! • I'm So Sad, So Very, Very Sad • We Hate You Please Die • Garbage Truck • Teenage Dream • Sleazy Bed Track • It's Getting Boring By The Sea • Black Sheep • Threshold • Anthems For A Seventeen Year Old Girl • Under My Thumb • Ramona (Acoustic Version) • Ramona • Summertime • Threshold (8 Bit)

Spotify ♪ YouTube

[reefshrk]

anthems for a 17 year old girl / broken social scene

inspired by @eggsdoodz art

[d1gnan]

broken social scene patch i made with an old t shirt and hand painted

[isa-z-111]

my artist constantina book - anthems for a seventeen year old girl.

done with watercolour, posca, inkpen, and acrylic.

symbolism and imagery that depict events or stages from my life have been used to replicate the essence of the broken social scene song and how it reflects nostalgia and identity and moving forwards through life in a bittersweet sense.

this was so fun to make! it is now in my local gallery.

[1000-silverfish-in-a-hoodie]

3 days until top surgery!!!!!

[thecrybabysketches]

43/100 - used to be one of the rotten ones and i liked you for that

[rainbowsky]

In the last months I was wondering and being a bit preoccupied with GG not having new endorsements and losing existing ones. Also with him staying away from show appearances and now not going on any NY show. But the last couple of days I keep thinking that he’s trying to escape that “traffic star” stigma and keeping it low key. Even though his album broke any record there was ti be broken. What do you think of GG’s “behavior” towards the c-ent this past year?

Hi Karamelina2005 😊

If you're genuinely hand-wringing over GG's career and endorsements, I think that's a pointless waste. GG is doing exceptionally well. While he doesn't have as many endorsements as DD does right now, the ones he does have are dominated by luxury brands and high end products. He's also still one of the top people in the industry in terms of number of endorsement contracts. He's doing fine.

Frankly, when an endorsement of his doesn't renew I always assume it's because they can't afford him anymore. No one - no one - has the power to move goods like GG does. No one is even on the same continent when it comes to sales. Let me guarantee you he's one of - if not THE - most sought after brand endorsement contracts in China.

I don't know how long you've been around, but over time you'll likely come to see that endorsements come and go. It's a totally normal, totally routine part of doing business. Brands are constantly shifting their strategies and adjusting their audience targets, budgets fluctuate, etc. etc. etc. - all of this leading to changes in spokespeople. This is completely normal.

I also think it's important for fans to remember that GG and DD are not social media influencers, they're actors. Endorsements will never be the central focus of their careers, and if anything they're likely to gradually do fewer endorsements as their careers become more serious and more established. Fans should resist the urge to measure GG and DD's careers by endorsement contracts.

Artists in China are also required by the government to be accountable for the brands they endorse. They must only endorse products and services they themselves or close family members are using. Someone like GG is going to be very picky about which contracts he takes on. He's a shrewd businessman who cares about how he is perceived and what he represents.

Frankly, the kind of people who worry about this type of thing tend to be insecure fans who are trying compete to one-up other fandoms for whose idol has the most clout. It's incredibly stupid and pointless.

We don't even know the details of their endorsement contracts, so it's pointless to try to bean-count over them. What would you rather have - 10 contracts valued at $100K each, or one valued at $1 million? The amount of money might be the same, but the amount of work is dramatically different.

So I urge people not to worry about such things. We don't know what's really happening behind the scenes.

As for live appearances, he hasn't done a live NYE performance for years. I honestly don't know why people still insist on expecting it of him. It's obviously not something he's making a priority.

Why? Well, only GG knows for sure, but I suspect there are multiple factors at play. The traffic star issue is a big one I've talked a lot about in the past. Both GG and DD have been transitioning away from that perception and more toward the path of serious actors/performers. But there are other factors as well.

Given that he has his own material out now, and a license to produce live performances, he may want to save himself for a future concert of his own (we can hope, anyway).

Frankly he doesn't need to do things like that. He's one of the top stars in China right now, and scarcity seems to make him even more anticipated by audiences.

He might not want to deal with the stress and hassle of preparing for and doing a performance like that. There is a LOT that goes into those performances, and a lot of stress and unpredictability. The last time he did Dragon TV there were huge audio issues that almost ruined his performance. He hasn't done NYE since. (Before anyone takes that and runs with it and assumes that's why - we have no proof of that. I'm just saying it's a lot of work and a lot of stress and if you don't need to do it, why bother?)

I suspect that control is a huge factor here. He is in a position now where he can pick and choose situations where he has a lot of choice and power. Why would he go back into unpredictable situations?

He said in an interview a while back that he hasn't been doing variety show appearances because he finds dealing with people's expectations and reactions too stressful. It's possible that applies here as well.

He wants to spend time with his parents, relaxing and watching DD on TV. He rarely gets much time off, and I have no doubt that he wants to make the most of it.

In terms of 'attitude toward the industry', I think both GG and DD have been doing their own thing, focusing on doing the kinds of projects and activities they enjoy rather than chasing after every opportunity. Gone are the days when they'd be packing their calendars full of a wide range of activities of varying value and appeal. Their choices seem far more curated and personal these days. I talked about that a fair bit in the past, including recent posts.

GG debut anniversary

DD debut anniversary

DD Exploring the Unknown

GG and project choices

I believe they're both doing their own thing, taking their own paths, and working toward having greater control over their careers, greater control over their projects, more time for their private lives, etc. and it shows.

I mean, just look at GG's album release and it becomes obvious that we don't need to worry about his career. The man has - on top of all the big projects he's been doing with top directors and top luxury brands - been developing and recording an album of his own, completely on his own time and with his own money and team, without any of it leaking, and with the few melons about it totally not believed by audiences. That's a pretty big flex.

And the album has been a massive, massive success.

So yeah. Don't worry about GG. One thing you can be certain of is that he will always focus on what's best for him and his career, and he's smart and capable and surrounded by experts whose entire job is to support that process.

[angeleris-artist]

Eulogy from a fan

MCR has been my favourite band for 20 years now. Maybe I’m weird, but I love their music to the point where I have trouble just putting on one of their songs casually or placing one of their songs on a playlist with multiple artists. I like to listen to their albums in full, or at least have a rotation going specifically of just their vast and varied music. I adore just about all music, and they’re the only artist I do this with.

When I first fell in love with MCR—and I fell for them hard—they were a group of five: Gerard, Frank, Ray, Mikey, and Bob. 14-year-old me was absolutely crazy about all of them. I thought they were the coolest people in music, and any small piece of legit information about any of them got me so excited.

Before social media was standard, everything I learned about them I learned from interviews and performance footage. I’ve always remembered Bob as that silly and immensely talented blond guy in the group who was the only one not from New Jersey (Chicago). They did so many group interviews together, and behind-the-scenes music video specials for Fuse, and Bob was always smiling and laughing with the rest of them. They were clearly a family of many talents, and Bob got to finally showcase what he was capable of on The Black Parade.

There is no understating how memorable and standout the drums are on The Black Parade. I don’t know the technical terminology and I’m definitely not a music student, but the drums on that album hit me in the heart, especially on Welcome to the Black Parade. Bob clearly knew what he was doing, loved what he was doing, and as far as the rest of us know, the only reason he wasn’t with My Chemical Romance to the end was because of issues with his wrists.

I loved Bob’s work so much, I went to the trouble of learning which songs on Danger Days had kept his contributions; not surprisingly, they were all my favourites on the album (Na Na Na, Bulletproof Heart, The Only Hope for Me is You, Party Poison, and Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back (my number one fav from DD)). I didn’t hear Conventional Weapons until after they’d broken up completely, but again every song was a banger and again Bob’s work was excellent.

I saw them live twice when Bob was in the band, but the only time I saw all five of them together on stage was in December 2005 (during their TBP tour, at least one of the band members was taking a break for health reasons when I saw them, but I don’t remember who). I’ll never forget how excited I was that first time I saw them, and I’ll never forget how much love I had for all five of them.

I’m not going to speculate about what happened. This is meant to be a respectful message about how much Bob meant to me as a fan during the height of MCR’s career. I’m writing all this knowing as much as the rest of the fan base about his passing, which isn’t much. I read that disgusting announcement by TMZ, same as all of you, and it made me so angry.

Within the first hour of the announcement of his passing, there were already (presumably AI-generated) compilation videos of Bob on YouTube. This is the only reason I’m not bothering to put a video together myself, I can’t compete with robots, so instead I’m here to say that Bob Bryar was and always will be one of the best drummers of the 2000s era of music, and whether you want him to be or not, he is iconic.

I was so sad when I heard he wasn’t in the band anymore, and I’m sad now. He deserved so much better, at the very least he deserved love and support, as we all do.

Rest In Peace Bob.

[auras-moonstone]

hiiii idk if your taking requests but if u are can u please write like a heart breaking angst with jack and the reader but a sweet fluff at the end??? thank you so much <33333

i wrote this while i was on my period and i may have cried 🫣 hope you like it ! 💓

i know i miss you — jack champion

word count: 2,809

pairing: jack champion x fem!reader

summary: the relationship between y/n and jacks starts to fall apart, and y/n can’t take it anymore. when jack stands her up, she makes a decision.

WHEN Y/N FIRST MET JACK ON SET, she was very wary around him. He was charming, sweet, funny, caring—exactly the type she swore she would stay away from. Which is kind of ironic, isn’t it? Because those are qualities you usually look for in a person. But if there was something Y/N knew from working in Hollywood was: don’t fall for celebrities because they don’t have the best schedules for dating and you’ll get your heart broken. And Jack was exactly the type you couldn’t help falling for, so Y/N did her best to stay professional and have the least interaction possible. Did she succeed? Hell no. Jack Champion was the most social person Y/N has ever met.

“Jack, you need to stop talking. I can’t get your make-up done like this!” Y/N said, trying to sound annoyed but couldn’t help chuckling.

“Sorry. I’ll let you work” Jack apologised, his cheeks tinted a soft shade of red.

She melted at the sight. “You know I love talking to you. I didn’t mean it like that” she reassured him, not wanting him to get upset. “But they’re going to call you to do a scene and I’m going to get fired if you’re not ready”.

“Aren’t you being a little bit dramatic?” Jack laughed.

“Well, yeah, a little” she admitted. “And… done!”

“Thank you, you are the best!” he hugged her. “Are you ever going to get me fake blood or fake wounds?”.

“Are you subtly trying to get me to spill if you’re Ghostface or if you’re going to die?” Y/N crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“No! I would never use our friendship to do that!” he acted as if the accusation offended him.

“I’m really offended right now. Our friendship is over” she shook her head as she started cleaning the table.

“Let me buy you dinner tonight? You know, to win your affection back?” Jack spoke nervously, playing with his hands and looking at the back of her head.

Y/N froze. She knew they were walking on a fine line between friendly and flirting, and now he was crossing it. Her last relationship with an actor ended up badly—his interest to maintain their relationship deteriorated with the passing days until there was nothing she could do to save it. Y/N was left heartbroken and swore to herself she was never risking it again.

And then Jack came to her life with his cute dimples, bright eyes and dad jokes and completely swept her off her feet. Y/N fell for him in free fall—not being able to stop at all. And there she was now, unable to say no. Not wanting to say no. So she said yes.

And then one date turned into two, and then three and weeks later they became official. And everything felt perfect for the next few months, like they were inside of a romantic comedy. And life and fiction had one thing in common—the climax. And so the problems in their relationship appeared.

The filming of Scream 6 ended, which meant that Y/N and Jack could no longer see each other every day. They knew this would eventually happen, but they were positive they were going to be fine. Well, Jack was pretty positive, Y/N just hoped with all her heart her relationship with Jack wouldn’t meet the same ending than with her ex-boyfriend. Because she loved Jack with all of her heart, more than she had ever loved anyone else, and it scared her immensely.

The first punch in the heart came two months after they finished Scream 6: Y/N continued working as a make-up artist for movies and Jack had began filming Avatar 4, which required lots of time on set. She understood why his replies didn’t come as quick or why his texts weren’t long. He always made sure to add emojis and exclamation marks to let her know he wasn’t being dry, he just had short amount of time to talk to her—and she thought that was absolutely cute. They mostly face-timed or called each other, but as the production of Avatar continued, Jack grew restless; he arrived home very late and all he wanted to do was rest, so he started sending just texts.

And Y/N was very understanding, she knew how Hollywood worked. Not everything was going to be petals and pink all the time, they were going to have rough paths, especially because of work. What mattered is that both of them were trying their best to keep their relationship sane and intact. Until he stopped trying.

The calls were short and dry—she did most of the talking and he answered briefly. And texts? Well, she sent them but almost never got a reply.

“Y/N” he answered the called, lying on the couch of his trailer.

“Hey, babe! How are you?” she answered. Her phone was on speaker as she gathered her make-up stuff she had just used.

“I can’t really talk right now” he answered.

Y/N frowned “Oh, sorry. I thought you were on a break”

“I am, but you know… breaks are for taking breaks”

“Isn’t that what you are doing?” she asked confused, letting out a small laugh.

Jack sighed, Y/N could hear the irritation in his tone and she knew the fight was about to start “No, I’m not. I’m trying to rest but I know that if I don’t answer your call you’ll keep calling me and I’m tired”.

Y/N pressed her lips in a thin line, feeling like she had just been punched in the throat. “Right… sorry for bothering you. I’ll just… um- bye”.

She ended the call, and covered her head with her hands, letting the sobs escape from her mouth. Her chest felt like it was about to explode as she realized it was happening again.

Y/N left Jack alone for a couple of days, hoping that he would call her back and apologise, or at least be the one who texted first. But as it had been for a long time, Y/N was the one who took the first step.

hey love

hope you’re doing okay. sorry i didn’t text, been busy :(

our anniversary is tomorrow and i just wondered if maybe you’d like to come home to celebrate?

nothing fancy of course, maybe i can make dinner and watch a movie??

i love you 💖

He answered hours later.

hey babe🫶🏻!!

yeah, of course 💕

i’ll be there at 8, if that’s okay? i’ll bring dessert

i love you too💖!!!

Emojis. Exclamation marks. Hope filled her chest, maybe they were going to be alright. She went to bed with a smile on her face.

But the hope was short lived, because the following night, Y/N waited for three hours in the dimly lit kitchen, with dinner in front of her, the scent of the lavender candles surrounding her, with the red dress Jack loved so much on and the playlist they made together resonating in the room.

She checked her phone for the hundredth time, still no response to her texts. It was clear he had forgotten, so totally resigned, she blew the candles out, put the food back in the oven, put her pjs on and went to bed. The playlist—which now played love of my life by queen—still on as she cried herself to sleep. She decided then that it had been the last straw.

Jack arrived at her house at three in the morning. He entered the house, which was completely dark, and went to the kitchen. He stopped in his tracks, seeing the burnt out candles and a note lying in the middle of the table.

i don’t even know if you’re going to come

but the food is in the oven.

He cursed himself for having fallen asleep. The filming took longer than usual, and he just planned to take a thirty minute nap, which turned into five hours of sleeping. Jack’s intention had never been to stand his girlfriend up. In fact, he had prepared a whole speech apologising for having been the absolute worst boyfriend in the world. But he screwed everything up.

Jack walked upstairs carefully, and when he opened their bedroom door, his heart melted and broke at the sight of Y/N. She was sleeping with a frown on her face and dry tears on her cheeks—sign that she had cried herself to sleep, and that made Jack’s eyes water, as if her tears had ricocheted.

The tall boy sat next to her, caressing her cheeks softly while he tried to muffle his cries, but it was impossible. Y/N was the best girlfriend in the world: so patient, so caring, loving, understanding and sweet. And the only thing he had done was hurt her.

“Jack?” her sleepy voice interrupted his thoughts, and he tried to clean his tears fast. “What happened? Are you okay?” the worry in her voice was a punch in the gut. He had stood her up, on their anniversary, and there she was, kind as ever.

“I’m sorry” he sobbed “There’s no excuse, nothing happened to me, I just fell asleep for longer than I wanted. God, I’m sorry, love, I didn’t want this to happen” he grabbed her hand, squeezing it.

“Jack… I wish that I could say it’s okay… but it’s not. I have been so understanding, but clearly work is consuming you. It is your number one focus, and I get it, but that’s not what I need right now. I can’t do this again” her heart felt heavy in her chest, but she needed to do it. “I love you, more than I’ve ever loved anyone, but I think it’s best if we break up… I can’t go on like this”

Jack wanted to fight this decision, tell her how much he loved her, and that he got it now, that he was going to be a better boyfriend because he didn’t want to lose her. But he couldn’t be that selfish. “I understand. I just want you to know that I love you. And I’m really sorry for the hell I have been putting you through for the last few months, you deserve so much better. I loved you, I still do, please never doubt that”

“I know, Jack. Trust me, I do. But your work is important to you, more important than anything. And it’s okay” she tried to smile as she cleaned his tears.

“Can I, if it isn’t too much to ask, give you one last kiss?” he asked hopeful.

Y/N thought about it for a moment, and then nodded. Their last kiss was salty from their tears, and it expressed love, sadness, melancholy and regretfulness. Their fingertips explored everything one last time, trying to memorise the feeling of each other. And when they pulled away, they felt nothing but emptiness. That was it. They were over.

“Goodbye, Jack”

“Bye, Y/N/N”

Jack left the room and the bed that used to be theirs. They both broke down when the door closed, but they did their best to keep quiet so the other wouldn’t hear. This was supposed to be for the best, but it sure didn’t feel right.

Y/N THOUGHT SHE WOULD FEEL AT LEAST A BIT BETTER AFTER HAVING TALKED TO JACK. Spoiler alert, it felt quite the opposite. It hurt more every day. Literally everything reminded her of him. Two days after the breakup she saw the cup he used to drink coffee in and literally cried for thirty minutes straight. She couldn’t listen to music because she always had a way of relating every lyric to him. And sleeping on the bed? Big no. The other side of the bed was cold and it still smelled like him—she always fell asleep on the couch.

Jack wasn’t any better. He messed up his lines more than ever, the food wouldn’t go past his throat, he was always on his phone looking at pictures of Y/N and him or reading their old texts. He was miserable, and everyone noticed.

“How are you feeling, man?” his friend, Romeo, asked. He face-timed Jack every day ever since the break up, wanting to check on him.

Jack sighed, holding his phone “Still the same. Today I heard Last Kiss by Taylor Swift and cried like a baby for hours. That was her favorite song”

“Holy shit, man. I’m tired of seeing you like this. You know what you should do? Go apologise. You had to lose her to realize what a dick you were being, and it sucks, but now you know. Tell her how you really feel. After all, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“Um, her saying that she doesn’t want to see me ever again and that I’m a piece of shit?” Jack asked.

“First of all, Y/N would never say that to you because she loves you. Way too much. Second, you don’t even talk or see each other anymore so what if she says that? It can’t get worse than this, but it can get better”

Jack frowned “You know what? You’re right!”

“Ah, my favorite words” he smiled smugly.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’m going to her house now” he said confident.

“Please shower first. I can smell you through the phone” Romeo said right before hanging up.

One hour later, Jack was standing on Y/N’s porche practising what he was going to say to her once he had the courage to ring the bell. He didn’t need to, through, because the door was opened by a very confused Y/N. “What are you doing here?”.

“Oh, hi. I though I didn’t press the bell” he said.

“You didn’t. I saw you through the security camera. Are you okay? You have been standing here talking to yourself for the past ten minutes”.

“You saw that?” Jack blushed from embarrassment. Y/N tried not to laugh as she nodded. “Shit”

Y/N took in his appearance. It had been almost three weeks since the last time they saw each other. His hair was longer, it didn’t have the shape of a mullet anymore but it still looked cute on him, he was as handsome as ever. But the bags under his eyes were very prominent.

“You look… good” Jack said, eyes taking her figure. She, just like him, had bags under her eyes, her hair was in a messy ponytail—which made her look adorable—, and her body was covered by a big cardigan. His heart stopped, it was his cardigan.

“You’re a liar, I look like shit” Y/N said.

“You still manage to look beautiful” he told her. “I’m surprised you aren’t kicking me out, so I’m just going to talk before you change your mind. Y/N, I know I have been the worst boyfriend ever. I didn’t take care of you like I should’ve, as you deserve. I’m sorry I put my work over you, I really regret it. Because, frankly, I miss you more than anything and these weeks have been the worst days of my life. I keep seeing you everywhere, everything reminds me of you. I have been a mess, and I know it’s my fault. But losing you is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. You are one of the most important people in my life, and I’m sorry my actions didn’t show you that. I love you, and I want to try again with you. I know our love is worth fighting for, and that’s why I’m here, I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner. In fact, I’m sorry I ever left”.

Y/N wrapped her arms around his waist and cried “I missed you so much. I should’ve said something, I should’ve told you how I felt, maybe we could’ve work it out”

“No, love. Don’t. It’s my fault” he rubbed her back softly, putting his cheek on top of her head.

“I want to try again with you. I do” she said against his chest.

“Really? Are you sure?” he asked surprised. It was more than he deserved, she was more than he deserved.

Y/N laughed “Yes, Jack. I’m very sure”

And so he grabbed her by the cheeks and pressed his lips against hers. They both almost cried at the feeling of the kiss, hours ago they thought they wouldn’t get to do that ever again. The consuming kiss, her palms against his cheeks, his fingers in the back of her neck, the heat of their bodies—it all felt like coming back home after being homesick. When they finally pulled away, they both smiled and pressed their foreheads together.

“Can we take a nap together? I have been having trouble sleeping without you” Jack said, blush coating his pale cheeks.

“Me too” she admitted. “Let’s go. The other side of the bed misses you”

[leminhjuice]

My first ever homestuck secret Santa for @elenaditgoia !! Had a lot of fun with this

Lyrics are from Anthems for a Seventeen Year-Old Girl by one of my favorite artists and I think it’s very fitting for their dynamic if you choose to interpret it in a certain way :P

[ateez-himari]

LORE DEEPENS

New York sets a new scene for the pirates' storyline

August 4, 2024 (8:54PM)

The recent world tour has seen changes not only in the stage setup but with lore being revealed through performances as well, which have been consistent until an unexpected one time addition during the New York stop combining several members' stages. Clips from this segment of their concerts have been making rounds through social platforms, with netizens reporting on how their acting came to life so realistically that they shed tears over something they did not even fully understand.

The acting scene opened with the maknae draped in silky white garments dancing to an eerily familiar orchestra instrumental, a soft smile across her lips while the members appeared one at a time behind her to join into the choreography. Silence abruptly befalls the stadium while most lights turn black to let the spotlight onto each of the men in the order they arrived, replaying the moment their wings were ripped from them until disappearing into the darkness.

When the lighting came back to its normal setting, the vocalist could be seen chained to the same metal structure as her solo stage yet this time the attire was light blue displaying blood red stains around the shoulder blades whilst feathers of that same color were scattered on the ground. Tears streamed down as the restraints fell, leaving her free to crawl towards the members' bodies laid out across the stage and the bone chilling scream released upon touching the eldest's cheek resonated loudly enough for attendees situated further away to hear. Several beats passed during which her entire demeanor changed; heaving breaths falling into a calmer rhythm while the distressed turned into an almost subtle sadness until her head turned to the camera, her body sinking into a kneeling position as wet eyes stared directly at the lens, the captain's insignia in her hands.

The emotional performance left the audience completely silent until spotlights went out for the final time, giving them time to not only admire the group's acting skills but think about the significance of this rather dark moment as well. It has been implied previously that the blue bird is either closely linked to the young woman or simply her poetic representation in the lore, which is likely why the outfit is of this color while the red stains obviously represent the loss of wings symbolizing freedom. Pieces of the treasure film have suggested that she was involved in every single one of their stories, perhaps even being the one who helped their leader bring them together, and the fact that she is the first in front of the mirror surely represents that.

The hidden detail of a broken hearing aid lodged in her ear did not slip past sharp eyes either, leading to theories about the fact that it further represented the loss of freedom through the inability to hear their music. It has been assured by the vocalist herself that the device was simply painted in such a state as she still requires it in order to keep up with the numerous cues given through the backing track.

While the significance of their many acting performances have not been revealed as of yet, the dedication behind these bleeds through when attendees become unable to tell which are their true emotions. Please continue to support these hard working artists throughout their activities and search for any clues in their upcoming performances.

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[sunjaesol]

soljae | different timeline, adult!soljae, melancholy | prompt: thrive

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪

Mindlessly scrolling through Twitter, Sunjae paid little attention to the hair and make-up artists flitting around him with brushes and hot tools. As long as he kept still, they could work efficiently and he would leave his dressing room immaculate.

Beside him, other actors were getting their hair and make-up done. Some Japanese rapper was blaring from someone's speaker, drowning out the noise of the hair dryer. Some were napping, going over their lines, or, like him, doom-scrolling online.

My Colleague Made Me Blush A Thousands Suns was a drama he was currently filming, playing the second male lead. A role he often got typecasted as. Which was... fine, if not a slight blow to the ego.

He figured he had enough experience on his resume for a casting director to give him a chance, but he knew the fickle nature of the industry. It was already a miracle that he was a relatively known and respected actor in the field. His manager said he had his height to thank.

After filming, he had a networking dinner tonight. Sunjae rather looked forward to diving into bed and watching some American sports movie, but alas—appearing at social events was part of the job description.

He couldn't complain, he reminded himself. He had the job of his dreams, financial security, a nice place, a tight-knit group of friends and a flawless reputation. People would kill for a life like his.

And yet.

For a while now... he couldn't really describe it... but in the last couple of months, he has been feeling empty. Or rather: never-quite fulfilled, like someone had stolen the last bite of a meal. He felt himself looking over his shoulder, or watching the front door late at night; waiting, expecting. But there was nothing to expect. He had his life in order.

Inhyuk would immediately assume that what Sunjae was missing was a girlfriend, but that felt too simple of a statement and it didn't encompass that odd, melancholic feeling. Besides, he wasn't looking for a relationship; he was a content single man.

(Quietly—embarrassingly—he did wonder at times if something was wrong with him. Why didn't he crave companionship? Why did his attraction to women stay surface-level? Was there something inherently broken or—if he were to take a romantic's perspective—was his very soul waiting for The One?)

He wished to shake off this feeling, but it stuck to him like glue.

"Sunjae-ssi?"

Snapping out of his thoughts, he realised his thumb had been hovering over his screen for a while now, unmoving. He looked up at the make-up artist. "Yes?"

"You're ready. You can wait for the director's directions now."

"Ah, thank you." He rose from the chair.

As he walked out of the room, the male lead passed him by with a large, iced Americano and the script rolled under his armpit. He was shorter than Sunjae, but he had the face that all male leads had—something unattainable, masculine, and relatable all at once. The actors were amicable, but Sunjae doubted they'd hang out much after promotions wrapped.

(And yeah, Sunjae was a little jealous of him. Why wasn't he 'unattainable, masculine and relatable' all at once? That would maybe solve his issue.)

Walking onto set, he watched as two actors from the ensemble were in the middle of adlibbing a comedic scene. A production assistant walked up to him with the latest director's notes and script changes. An on-set make-up artist immediately checked him for any imperfections. It wasn't like this on every set, but this one ran like a well-oiled machine.

Again, he had nothing to complain about. Ryu Sunjae was thriving.

... And yet.

His eyes skimmed over the notes, perplexed. "He wants to remove the kiss between Doha and Minju?"

The assistant shrugged. "Some executive producer doesn't think it's a good idea."

Sunjae frowned. "But we've been leading up to it. That's what my character is for. To confuse the female lead."

"I know." The assistant cringed. "I'm just relaying the message."

Nodding, he read the notes again. Those executive producers loved to throw around their opinion as though it held the same merit as the money they possessed. Now his character's arc made no sense.

With a huff, Sunjae tucked the notes into his script. He would for sure talk to the director about this once it was time to film his parts.

"Can you believe it? They totally removed his arc!" A voice behind him perked up, indiginified, speaking to someone else.

Looking over his shoulder, he watched two crew members speaking to each other. Or rather: one was, animatedly so.

"Remind me again why executives have all the power?" the same person asked, miffed.

Her colleague shushed her. "Because they have all the money. Now be quiet. You're the intern, don't start shit you cannot solve."

The woman looked much older than some twenty-year-old intern, Sunjae observed. More about his age. She had a short stature and a square-ish face, long hair piled in a claw clip at the back of her head. Like all of the crew, she wore dark, unassuming clothing.

She pursed her lips. "I'm not saying I'm going to solve it, but I'm just saying... even if they have all the money, doesn't the director... or even the actors... have some say in the matter? The character of Doha is so integral to Minju's growth. It would be a shame if that kiss was scrapped."

"I think so, too," Sunjae found himself saying, grabbing the attention of the women. Walking towards them, he got a better look of them.

The experienced crew member turned as pale as a ghost and bowed her head, apologies about gossiping spilling from her lips.

The intern also bowed her head, though less pronounced, and mumbled a similar apology. Yeah, she definitely wasn't twenty years old. Someone younger would've been peeing their pants about now.

He dismissed them, his gaze sticking to the intern. "Don't apologise. I agree. It's a shame my character's arc is possibly getting reduced."

The intern nodded. She seemed quite pleased that he agreed with her, a slight grin growing on the edges of her lips in the same way that lured people to view the Mona Lisa. "You're going to speak to the director, right?"

"I will."

"Good." Her colleague elbowed her. "I mean, that seems like a smart decision, Sunjae-ssi."

It was almost imperciptible, the way his head tilted slightly after she said his name. He heard that a million times a day. Sunjae-ssi. Sunjae-ssi. Sunjae-ssi. Yet hers... no, he found it too embarrassing to admit. (He found that she said it the sweetest.)

Sunjae coughed, feeling a lump in his throat. "Oh, uh, what're you interning for, by the way?"

"Oh, I'm sorry." This time she bowed for real. "I didn't introduce myself." She smiled. "I'm Im Sol. I'm an intern in the writer's room for the show."

Sunjae blinked.

Oh.

Im Sol.

A sudden swell in his stomach, his chest, his head bloomed at the sound of her name. Im Sol. The physical sensation made him dizzy.

Im Sol.

A short, breathy laugh puffed from his lips. "Right. Um. Hi. Im Sol." The name came out like it was his own. "Welcome on board. Um." The disorienting feeling wouldn't fade. She, however, simply looked at him in confusion. "I have to get ready."

He walked away in seconds, grabbing his racing chest.

Im Sol.

Im Sol.

Why did it feel like that name has left his lips as many times as he has breathed?

Im Sol.

Im Sol.

Im Sol, where have we met before?

[crooked-wasteland]

Codependency: The Toxic Romance of Fizz/Ozzie

I have gotten an ask in regards to depictions of abuse in Helluva Boss and there is obviously much to say on the topic. Many others have gone over and criticized the show for its poor examples of abuse, however I believe a greater problem exists on the flip side of that topic. Hand in hand with abusive relationships, the show has crafted romantic ones that are just as damaging to the young adult audience this show appeals to. Just as some say that poor representation of abuse and abusers puts people at risk of becoming victims, so too does the poor representation of love and romance turn into a quagmire of unhealthy codependency that sets unrealistic standards for relationships and people that are inevitably going to become toxic when removed from fantasy.

It is one of the few reasons why I insist that Helluva Boss is not a show targeting adults, as it does not appeal to mature individuals with any true life experience. Overwhelmingly striking a chord with the stunted, socially disabled adult minority, or the emotionally volatile demographic of early twenty-something teenagers who have yet had the experience in life to identify harmful relationships or the biological maturity of their brains to reason outside their emotions, who make up the majority. It feeds off the sense of victimization that both of these groups harbor towards reality and requires a fantastical disconnection of such to engage with authentically.

That is not to say this is an attack on that group. As seen before with the meteoric rise of damaging media like “50 Shades of Grey”, it is not fair to claim no one can authentically interact and enjoy the material at presentation. Identically it is not proper to claim that individuals who enjoy this sort of media for what it is are somehow of subpar intellect. However, it is more fair to recognize that many who did see “50 Shades” as a romantic tale often ended up in abusive relationships when seeking out that “ideal” they believed the book portrayed. Many individuals who wandered into the kink scene looking for their own Christian Grey found exactly that as they were manipulated, controlled and taken advantage of by unsavory individuals. As such, this is not to say that media of this sort should not exist or be banned, but that coherent and concise criticism is necessary for these topics to keep people from reenacting unhealthy and toxic relationships.

In the words of Youtuber Swoop, “It’s not drama, it’s dangerous.” I feel it rings true here and for artistic media in general. It’s not just fiction, and it can have a real world impact on people, relationships and lives.

I covered over some of the issues with Stolitz in a previous post found *HERE*, but for this breakdown of harmful depictions of relationship dynamics, I’m going to be focusing on FizzaRolli and Asmodeus. The reason being, this is a textbook codependent relationship that is portrayed as an ideal through the narrative, and it is rather alarming to witness the way the fandom fawns over it. As I previously pointed out in *THIS* post, the issue with the Fizz/Ozzie relationship in the special episode is that the story conflict is FizzaRolli’s codependent nature on Mammon not being corrected, but rather redirected to being purely codependent on Asmodeus. I have legitimately seen it argued that because the characters are happy in their relationship, then the codependency is just love, which is why this essay is being written in the first place. This is direct evidence of a harmful and unhealthy dynamic being sold to an impressionable and immature audience to their own detriment.

According to PsycheCentral, codependent traits can be broken up into cognitive (how you think), emotional (how you feel), and behavioral (how you act).

Cognitive traits of Codependency are that the individual has difficulty identifying their own opinions from another person’s, primarily the target of the codependency. This means the individual will often conform themselves implicitly to the beliefs of their target. They lack a stable sense of self and attach to their target in a way to ground them psychologically. Additionally, they struggle to identify or express their needs because of this lack of identity. And it should be made clear that the lack of identity does not mean that they see themselves as an extension of the other person, but are highly changeable and lack any core sense of who they are or what they believe in. Their self image is so volatile that the act of codependency is a maladaptive coping skill to find some form of stability in another person. This also extends into a form of mirroring; taking on the desires of those around you as your own.

The episode makes it very obvious how FizzaRolli is codependent on Mammon because it is seen in the negative lens it is expected to be. FizzaRolli’s opinions and beliefs are mirrored images of Mammon’s greedy philosophy. Being the best with all the money and fame is what Mammon has instilled in Fizz’s core, and from the jump Fizzarolli expresses these values as his own. FizzaRolli doesn’t communicate with Mammon out of a sense of fear and often shelves his own feelings and desires to accommodate the King of Greed. These are obvious and I am sure everyone can easily identify them in the dynamic.

However, these are identical to FizzaRolli’s dynamic with Asmodeus. At the end of the episode when Ozzie and Fizz have their minute in the greenroom, Fizz consistently fails to communicate with Ozzie about his needs or desires. In context of the episode’s opening, FizzaRolli is able to easily lie to Asmodeus as to why he is participating in the pageant. It is never established that Fizzarolli is expected to participate, additionally his job with Ozzie would make his need to be hired by Mammon obsolete, let alone their relationship. So it appears to be solely Fizz’s choice as to why this episode occurred in the first place. It is obvious that Fizz feels out of control and overwhelmed about this situation, but he believes Ozzie would want him to participate because he would “lose him” otherwise.

Which means FizzaRolli believes his participation in the pageant is also what Ozzie actually wants, seen when he says “You’re with me because of who I am at my best!” And FizzaRolli is so entrenched in that belief that he imposes it on his partner despite Asmodeus clearly stating he would wish Fizz wouldn’t go. FizzaRolli’s decisions and thoughts are just as entirely embedded in the thoughts, opinions and desires of Ozzie, if not more, than Mammon. Just because Asmodeus’ cognitive priority is Fizz does not change the toxic codependency that this cycle is rooted in. It could be argued that because Ozzie rejecting FizzaRolli’s belief at the end of the episode allows Fizz the freedom to quit, it is only because of Fizz’s belief that Ozzie wanted him in the pageant, not Mammon, is why he ever forced himself to go in the first place.

Emotional traits of Codependency can be broken down into a single feeling: Fear. The difficulty of saying “no” due to a fear of rejection or abandonment. A fear of not being accepted, loved or supported. Feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem are all intrinsically tied to a codependent dynamic. This results in the individual giving of themselves beyond their own boundaries in order to appease their target and maintain a sense of value to that person.

Again, this is clear in FizzaRolli’s dynamic with Mammon. He never asserts himself in any way regardless of how uncomfortable he feels while simultaneously pushing the limits of his own mental and emotional health to the point of resentment. He attributes everything he is and has to Mammon, highlighting his utter lack of self-esteem. Additionally, the episode goes out of its way to show Fizz feeling inadequate in direct contrast to the competition.

This inadequacy goes deeper still, however, when presented with the Fizz/Ozzie dynamic because FizzaRolli believes he is unworthy of his relationship with Ozzie as a fundamental basis. He says, “I’m barely worthy of working with a King of Sin … Without all this, I’m just nothing.” And it isn’t FizzaRolli who finds value in himself. He spills himself out to Asmodeus, leaving himself vulnerable and empty, and instead of seeing his own value, it is Ozzie who fills him up. He originally places his value in his work. His fame and abilities are what his entire sense of self-worth is hinged on, which gets replaced by another external source that FizzaRolli arguably has less impact on One could argue that while unhealthy, FizzaRolli has a direct input in his work and thus feeds his self-esteem through his own merit. The solution to that problem is to give up all control and ownership of his emotional state for it to be regulated and maintained entirely by Ozzie. One could reasonably say that the solution to this episode’s conflict was for Fizz to actually become less of a whole person to find happiness.

And then there are the behavioral traits. Keeping in mind the emotional motivation behind all behavior is fear, the individual may take on more responsibility than they can handle or are not even their responsibility in the first place; pressuring themselves to support their target, getting caught up in the other person’s matters, or even “rescuing” them from their hardships. They tend to overshare, lack boundaries and are constantly seeking external validation and approval.

For this one, I’m skipping the Mammon comparison entirely because I feel the situation is self-evident. Instead I am going to pivot slightly to add onto this thought:

In the PsycheCentral article, licensed marriage therapist Kate Engler says, “All codependent people are people pleasers, but not all people pleasers are codependent.” She proceeds to expand this point by explaining how Codependency is a more extreme form of people-pleasing due to its mutual nature. When two people are in a true codependent dynamic, neither party can function without the other one.

That is to say, Asmodeus is also codependent on FizzaRolli.

Ozzie does not express his codependency in such a way that feels so textbook in comparison due to his social superiority, however, we see in Oops how codependent Asmodeus is on FizzaRolli to regulate and maintain his own emotional state. Ozzie is so incapable of functioning without Fizz that, if not for Stolas, he would have immediately signed away all his factories and even resulted in the death of his partner. He doesn’t make decisions based on his own values, but denies Stolas a crystal due to his partner’s wants and desires. Asmodeus’ proud announcement of doing so, as well, shows a degree of approval seeking. Being so pleased with himself on the belief that he did what his partner would have wanted him to do, and openly seeking validation for that decision as well. He lacks any sense of self outside of elevating FizzaRolli and Fizz lacks any sense of self outside of Ozzie’s approval.

The sole reason this relationship even seems to be healthy is because of the fact that Ozzie has no character outside of being in love with FizzaRolli. The unrealistic nature of a whole other human having no will, desire, or purpose outside of being in love with you is unrealistic and unhealthy. It is predicated on a belief that another person will make one "complete", placing the responsibility of your existence as a person on another and believing that is love. It is handing someone a gun to aim at your head, but its okay because they will never pull the trigger. If Asmodeus had any sense of his own identity, he would inevitably cause immense emotional and psychological harm to Fizz, and the only saving grace is that he is poorly written.

The result is that FizzaRolli and Asmodeus depict a fundamentally toxic dynamic being depicted as mutual support and love. It is a demented ideal of what a healthy relationship should look like that is actively poisoning the concept of relationships for an entire demographic of young people. It reaffirms anxious attachment styles that a concerning majority of the fandom embody, fundamentally dooming a percentage of those individuals to replicate this rotten cycle in their own reality. Regardless of how few people ended up abused following their romanticization of 50 Shades of Grey, the fact that even a single person ended up in that position due to a piece of media is too many. As such, I feel it is beyond necessary to denounce the “most wholesome” relationship of Helluva Boss for the dysfunction it actually is.

[wesleysniperking]

Strawhats’ Band AU

- The Strawhats’ sound is akin to Beirut and Broken Social Scene.

Band Members and Instruments:

- Usopp: Bass guitar. (Engineer and Songwriter/Lyricist)

- Luffy: Lead singer.

- Nami: Keyboardist/pianist/synth player.

- Zoro: Drummer.

- Sanji: Trombonist. (Might play other hard-a** brass instruments). (Lyricist/SW)

- Chopper: Maracas, Tamborine, and instruments similar to those. (He can play the Kalimba and idiophone type).

- Robin: Harp. (Can play the Theremin too).

- Franky: Electric guitar. (Engineer)

- Jinbe: Percussion line.

- Brook: Violinist. (Composer)

Nami: Keyboard/piano prodigy exploited by corrupt talent scout Arlong. She tried to sue him for damages after her adopted mom passed away. She had a breakdown but returned to music with Luffy’s help.

Zoro: Dedicated and talented drummer with a slight drinking problem. His playing style is swift, intense, and controlled. Learned to play in the same style as a late friend.

Sanji: Talented trombonist who left a philharmonic orchestra due to politics and personal reasons.

Luffy: Former member of the marine band, sent there by his grandpa after attending military/marine school but managed to escape.

Usopp: Music college dropout who is haunted by his famous father, whom he never knew. His girlfriend passed away from cancer. He had posted YouTube covers and gained a following. His late mother was an indie artist who never achieved widespread success. It is uncertain whether she was a groupie.

(all EB5 were homeless or broke at one point before meeting).

Both Robin and Nami have had experiences similar to Kesha, involving exploitation in the music industry.

Usopp’s dad, Yasopp or “Chaser”, is a famous bassist, ranked as one of the best of all time by Rolling Stone.

Shanks or “Red Hair” is Luffy’s mentor. He is the famous lead singer of a Grammy award-winning band.

Red Hair Pirates - They are a famous Grammy award-winning band with a sound similar to War, King Harvest, Dire Straits, and Guns N’ Roses, depending on the era.

Usopp and the band have a falling out when they alter their sound and remove a fan-favorite song, "Merry," from the setlist.

Usopp leaves the band after a public feud with Franky and Luffy’s decision to remove "Merry" from the Water 7 music festival setlist, which is akin to Coachella or Lollapalooza.

Sabaody Groove Fest: This festival is similar to the controversial Warped Tour, with various allegations surrounding it.

Usopp modified Nami’s keyboard to have unique synth sounds, similar to the Climatact.

“Merry” was believed to be an ex of Usopp’s, but it’s revealed that the song personifies the band’s journey and dream towards success. The band is surprised by this revelation.

- Franky writes a successful song called “Sunny” that charts well, but fans believe "Merry" will become a classic.

Each bandmate will receive honorifics and titles in their 40s or 50s. Usopp will be ranked #1 or #2 on the best rock bassists of all time list, surpassing his dad.

Usopp also creates a musical collective with other Black artists, developing a following of 8,000+ fans.

The band’s (Strawhats) fandom name is Nakama or Sailors

- When not singing, Luffy plays the cymbals, fooling around when he’s not leading the vocals.

- Usopp returns at the Water 7 festival as Sogeking, playing a crucial bass solo riff, symbolizing his readiness to rejoin the band. Luffy pulls him on stage to finish the song with a cool bass riff.

The Strawhats might decide to make a political statement during a performance, similar to when Luffy told Usopp to shoot the flag in the show. This could involve revealing an anti-government poster or banner, which could then go viral. Alternatively, they might do something in support of Robin, who is in a dispute with her former record label.

I have a dirty little secret. I wrote a song about Merry to accompany the fic idea. It’s a little cringe but I recorded it and everything. I might share it one day. Lol!

This is what I mean by the band’s sound…

They’d pull something like this in public.

BSS lyrics are pretty raw and bombastic in a way I feel like the SHs would be.

Music video is basically about pirates (???) and it reminds me of one of Luffy’s moves.

[fangirleaconmigo]

In your expert opinion, do you think there’s any deeper reading to interpret from Geralt’s rebound with Essi, and traits she shares with Dandelion? (I know it wasn’t authorial intention in the least, but when he kissed her within 10 minutes of meeting, I got a “she’s a lot like Dandelion, surely she’s safe to embarrass myself with” vibe).

Hi Nonny!

Essi and Dandelion, Poets and Parallels, Ballads and Broken Hearts

Thank you for the ask! I'm on my lunch break from work, but I'm so happy to be answering Witcher book questions again that I'm sneaking off to do this.

Essi is such an interesting character, right? On one hand, she seems to be treated as the 'anti-Yen" by the narrative and the thing that Geralt 'should' want, thereby reinforcing his love for Yen when he *doesn't* fall in love with Essi.

But then there are all the curious parallels and similarities with Dandelion, which also makes it fun to analyze in that way. The list of similarities is long: their profession, personality, looks, their level of talent, and my favorite, their readiness to throw hands on behalf of Geralt of Rivia. And then there is The Ballad.

Ok. I'm going to set authorial intent aside for the moment, because writers write things all the time they don't intend to write. And I think any artist worth their salt should be thrilled that their work is layered and interesting enough to inspire differing interpretations.

That being said, let's get to the fun part.

SPOILERS SPOILERS FOR ESSI'S STORY PLS DON'T READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED.

Profession, personality

Let's look at Essi's introduction! She enters the scene acting just like Dandelion. Both poets are mercilessly insulting one another in their fake-genteel way. (Lots of shade, as well as out and out insults)

Geralt is taken aback, thinking they are fighting, but then they fall on one another embracing and he's like...oh lordt. There's two of them.

"The Witcher was taken aback, but not too greatly. A professional colleague of Dandelion's could not, indeed, differ much from him in terms of predictability."

--Sword of Destiny pg 195

So we have profession, and personality being very similar. Bards with sharp tongues and ready emotions. Then we have looks!

Looks.

I've done a post on Dandelion's looks here. And Essi is similar! Blonde hair, blue eyes, and beautiful. Same same. Sorry, her eyes are a dark blue whereas Dandelion's are cornflower. Much different so contrast.

Level of talent.

They are both beloved and famous. When Ciri is studying at Nenneke's temple, she has access to both of their books of poetry.

[Ciri] read The Adversities of Loving and Time of the Moon, collections of poems by the famous troubadour Dandelion. She shed tears over the ballads of Essi Daven, subtle, infused with mystery, and collected in a small, beautifully bound volume entitled The Blue Pearl. --Blood of Elves pg 298

And Geralt adores both of their voices. When Essi and Dandelion are singing together, Geralt thinks to himself that they have the most beautiful voices that he has ever heard.

They Stay Ready to Throw Hands for Geralt of Rivia.

The text even classifies Essi and Dandelion together on this. And as I said, it's my favorite part of her character, and not just because I love Geralt. It shows her strength, her strong sense of self, her courage, and her values.

First, she, much in the way that Dandelion does, uses her fame, connections, and higher social standing to protect Geralt. And she throws Dandelion into the mix for good measure to strengthen her threats. So when Duke Agloval threatens to drive Geralt to the border with a whip. Essi reponds.

"...please dont threaten Geralt. It so happens that Dandelion and I have several friends...King Ethain of Cidaris...always says that our ballads aren't just lively music and rhymes, but a way of spreading news...Do you wish, your Grace, to be written into the chronicle of human kind? I can arrange it?" --Sword of Destiny pg 212

And when Geralt turns down Agloval's 'offer' of permanent work killing sea creatures in a permanent war with them, (keeping in mind that the noble has stiffed Geralt twice on payment so far) Agloval invokes Geralt's poverty in a demeaning way.

"Oh how proud," Agloval smiled. "How haughty. You reject offers in a way some kings wouldn't be ashamed of. You give up decent money with the air of a wealthy man after a lavish dinner. Geralt? Did you have lunch today? No? And tomorrow? And the day after? I see little chance, Witcher, very little..."

It is so infuriating. Agloval is saying...who the fuck do you think you are? Someone important? Someone with status?? Someone who is allowed to decide his own ethics for himself?

This is a constant theme. The...know your place. Stop trying to think for yourself. Ethics look stupid on you, because you aren't 'real' enough of a human being to have them. So it is super satisfying when Essi lets loose on him.

"How dare you!" Little Eye cried shrilly. "How dare you speak like that to him Agloval!...How can you be so base?"...

Geralt tries to stop her. He sees little point.

"Stop it Essi," Geralt said. "Stop, Essi, there's no point." "Not true," she said angrily. "These is a point. Someone has to tell it straight to this self-appointed duke....who now thinks he has the right to insult other people."

And she isn't done.

"Yes, Agloval, " Essi continued, clenching her shaking hands into fists. "The opportunity to insult other people amuses and pleases you. You delight in the contempt you can show the Witcher...you should know that the Witcher mocks your attempts and slights., that they do not make the faintest impression on him..."

Then we bring Dandelion back in. Because guess who also feels anger and revulsion when Geralt is treated so contemptuously? Let Essi say it...

"The Witcher doesn't feel what Dandelion and I feel, and we feel revulsion."

Sword of Destiny pg 237

That's like...not even half of her unloading on this guy. She is like...you are worth less than Geralt, so jot that down.

Now..

The Ballad

Here is why the ballad matters to me. I think that perhaps even more interesting than how Geralt responds to Essi (interesting though it is) is how Dandelion responds to Essi. Why does he think someone who is almost exactly like him is perfect for Geralt? I mean, he sees himself in her so much that he thinks of her as his sister.

He loves her more than Geralt does I think that is clear. Geralt cares deeply about her. But to Dandelion, she is like his family.

He is put in a shitty position of seeing her distraught and anguished about her feelings for Geralt and Geralt afraid of leading her on or hurting her. Geralt and Essi go back and forth, making it insufferable for Dandelion as a third wheel.

I talked about it here here and here.

Dandelion's response is the subject of controversy in fandom, and there are many valid and differing reader responses. But it seems clear that Dandelion has come to terms with the fact that Geralt and Essi will not be together in love, despite his advice to Geralt. So he suggests they just fuck to get it out of their systems and then everything will be ok. (that's his solution to most things)

So, if he is at ease with that, why the ballad? At the end of the story, Dandelion composes a ballad while Essi and Geralt sleep.

Dandelion, staring into the dying embers, sat much longer, alone, quietly strumming his lute. It began with a few bars, from which an elegant, soothing melody emerged. The lyric suited the melody, and came into being simultaneously with it, the words blending into the music, becoming set in it like insects in translucent, golden lumps of amber. The ballad told of a certain witcher and a certain poet. About how the witcher and the poet met on the seashore, among the crying of seagulls, and how they fell in love at first sight. About how beautiful and powerful was their love. About how nothing - not even death - was able to destroy that love and part them.

Sword of Destiny pg 246

Why this romantic song?? About a witcher and poet?

Yes, it could be just for the ballad, for a successful song. The text talks about the real story not being a good one for a ballad.

But there is so much emotion and magic in that scene. What is he thinking? What is he feeling?

Of course you know about what happens next, Essi's heartbreaking end, and Dandelion's crushing grief. She dies of smallpox during an epidemic. Dandelion is there. Did he go as soon as he heard? Was he visiting her expecting some lovely evenings singing around a fire and found her dead?

However it happened, Dandelion does not leave her to die alone. He does not turn tail and leave, avoiding smallpox. He literally carries the cold dead corpse of this woman he loves, who he sees as his sister, in his arms...

...Dandelion had carried her out in his arms between corpses being cremated on funeral pyres and had buried her far from the city, in the forest, alone and peaceful...

He buries her alone with his own hands! Oh how his heart must have shattered. It is moments like that, that you see the deeper, kinder, even (dare I say) noble side of the vain, braggadocios, whorish bard.

It goes on to say that Dandelion could have changed the song at any point to be a true version (the one where Essi dies), but he never did.

No, Dandelion stuck with his first version. And he never sang it. Never. To no one. Sword of Destiny p 246

Yeah.

To me there is a story about a young girl who cares enough for ten people, who has a huge heart, and a deep soul. A fearless girl who feels things too big for her to handle for a man others call a monster. A girl whose voice is like an angel.

And then there is a story about a broken hearted poet who loved her (far more than Geralt did) and who wrote a song about a witcher and a poet and he never changed the words and never sang it to anyone.

And I wonder if he wasn't writing that ballad about a witcher and a different poet entirely.

*sob*