#arthur is actually much more of a people person than we give him credit for

[valerileygreen]

It's apparent from the movie that Arthur loves paradoxes. And maybe that's because he is sort of a paradox himself, he's full of little contradictions and I doubt he even realizes it most of the time (but Eames does and it's what made the pointman so interesting at the beginning).

Arthur is analytical and meticulous, he likes precision and details, and makes plans and contingencies; and yet he is so skillful at improvising, and even enjoys it in a way, outsmarting sudden unexpected problems, at least when they're not risking Limbo (so much for having no imagination). But even more interesting is how he presents himself to others as calm and detached and yet he cares so much just about everything.

And more interestingly, while his emotions are always clearly visible on his face (thank you JGL for your expressive afce), he keeps himself on a tight leash, rarely allowing himself to actually act upon it, at least not without passing through some kind of filter of rationality first. That is, unless they're in the direst situations with adrenaline and stress running high.

And unless the person at the other end of the exchange is Eames. Because Arthur too acts different than usual around him.

Arthur, who is always so poised and collected, or at least strives to be, allows himself to engage in the banter Eames initiate, and to just react instinctively to his jabs. And even if most of the time that reaction is based in mild annoyance and competitiveness, it still feels like friendship and trust. Because for once Arthur is letting himself really feel and inhabit it his emotions, something he does with no one else. And then shit hits the fan and we really see just how much Arthur really cares for Eames when he flips in the taxi scene and when he helps him with the PASIV just to exchange a few soft reassuring words that may or may not be their last ones to each other; and how much he relies on Eames, even subconsciously, when he relaxes after the darling comment.

He feels safe enough with Eames to lower his guard and loosen himself up, to show even the most imperfect, less polished, 'ugliest' side of himself, sure in the knowledge Eames doesn't really see him as just a pointman or a mentor or whatever, but as a person and a friend. And it's liberating.

[o-uncle-newt]

Cabin Pressure Advent Day 22: Vaduz

In which everyone pronounces Liechtenstein differently. Including, sometimes, the same actors from sentence to sentence...

So I love Vaduz because of course I do- I've said before that I love the show's turn toward the heartwarming side, and Vaduz is a symbol that we are somewhere that we could never have been in the S1 headspace. There are two HIGHLY specific ways that that happens, one of which I greatly prefer to the other (though overall I enjoy both).

The Carolyn and Herc plotline is, obviously, catnip for me. You've seen my long screeds about vulnerability as a running theme in Cabin Pressure (as recently as yesterday!) and Carolyn has always had an issue with people seeing her for who she is rather than for the image she portrays. It's easier to be feared due to leverage and a loud bark than loved because of something intangible that you can't actually control... and that's even before one hits the hurdle of discussing one's own feelings! Because there's also the element of considering a partner's needs- Carolyn's very much been in the habit of steamrollering over people, and now she's in a relationship (loath as she is to admit it) with another person who needs something from her, whether reassurance or an outright commitment, and she needs to decide whether it is worth giving those things to him and, in the process, acknowledging what that means to her.

And the way it's done is great- and credits to the two EXCELLENT actors playing the scenes, who really manage to give that final bit a real sense of drama that has the scene end on a silent, emotive and suspenseful note that I shiver at every time. It's a sitcom, but it's also a little snippet of human drama. And arguments from people who love to argue and are sharp-witted are always so fun to listen to! The bit where Carolyn reuses Herc's "overreacting" joke, Herc calls it out, and she says "it's funnier because the stakes are higher" is both entertainingly meta and very true to the two of them as people- and the fact that it ends in medias res, and we know that this won't get resolved for a while, just makes the whole thing feel even more resonant.

Now for everyone else- so obviously this is a hilarious plot line (and very, VERY well plotted) and I DO like Teresa. I do. I love the reversal of the "slaying the dragon" thing and think the plotting here was great. For me, though, the major flaws were Maxi and Martin's plotline with him. Maxi's scenes with Arthur are fantastic, but I feel like he's a bit over the line from "cartoon villain" to "cartoon fantasy villain" in a way that kind of brings the episode a bit over the line into actual absurdity, especially given how relatively grounded Carolyn's plot line is. All of the royal stuff just feels very random, and while it matters less for Teresa, it's a bit more over the top for Maxi. And Martin's plot line with him... I don't know, it just felt a bit clunky in a way that I feel like late-season Cabin Pressure is usually better than. Sort of forced and with odd dialogue. I don't know, it's just a feeling I have, and it's not overwhelming enough to keep me from enjoying the episode.

But anyway, I am very glad that Martin got someone to go to Duxford Air Museum with him!

[asachuu]

It’s that time of the month, folks, you know what that means…naturally, my thoughts on Fifteen’s phases 16-17, as well as just some more stuff I simply want to add, because this manga keeps on giving me things to talk about, for better or for worse.

Please note that there will be image spoilers for phases 16-17 below, proceed with caution.

This will be more of a freehand ramble about whatever comes to mind while I’m typing, I’m admittedly somewhat tired today and there’s not much new I could really add as a whole atop the persisting flaws in it, but what I will say is that I’m now starting to think even Chuuya fans are slightly losing here as well, looking at some of these panels. That is not to say they’re badly drawn, once more, I must give all credit to the artwork as I have to admit I very much like it and appreciate the effort that goes into it, but the focus of many of these pages seems to be purely to shock, intimidate or disturb the viewer in a certain way by highlighting the exaggerated abilities of the characters, rather than having the visuals balanced with the actual point of the story itself, which is not— and never has been— about the amounts of power Arthur and Chuuya hold, respectively. Perhaps I will be repeating myself here, but if anyone is to read the novel, they’ll come to find out that there is no more focus on abilities than there is on expanding Dazai, Chuuya and Arthur as characters and human beings within the story of BSD.

Nevertheless, it just so happens that Chuuya thankfully has a certain fanbase, of which the majority of people seem to understand he isn’t meant to be a cold-hearted maniac despite harboring the power of Corruption and being depicted/interpreted in various ways showcasing the extent of his abilities, but speaking from personal experience, the same can’t be said about anyone who comes to know of Arthur, which I don’t mean inherently negatively— I was also once such a person, for which I must sarcastically thank the anime adaptation that initially introduced me to him. At least, on Chuuya’s end, there are always attempts to show his humanity, his actual personality, and I’d have two guesses as to why— first, he’s one of the two most popular BSD characters who has the spotlight on him either by the creators or the fandom almost everywhere he goes; second, his story directly revolves around whether he is or isn’t human anyway, so it’s entirely understandable that a contrast between himself and his abilities would make sense to show, even sometimes exaggerate, just like in Hoshikawa’s adaptation.

Unfortunately, this contrast is just lost on Arthur’s end, because there is no other side of him being anyhow shown to the readers. Personally, I wouldn’t come out thinking Chuuya is some kind of heartless monster, given that he’s shown to interact with other characters normally, he’s seen coming back to his senses after a few panels, and generally, no matter what has been cut out and what has been left in, it just so happens that there is simply enough content of him to be able to merely afford to do any of this— all of which can’t be said about Arthur, who has all the necessary content to understand his character better specifically in the Fifteen light novel (and Stormbringer), not scattered all around several other books and mangas to be able to sacrifice one adaptation of the source material and still carry on. Albeit we still haven’t seen the end of the fight, in which I’m dearly hoping his dialogue is going to be portrayed properly with the same emotion it was presented to us with in the light novel as the absolute last chance for this to turn around in the slightest, I can safely say that there were opportunities to create this same effect with Arthur as with Chuuya, yet these opportunities were all passed up.

From the start, we’re introduced to this strange, yet harmless-looking sub-executive of the Port Mafia, that of which is revealed to be a ruse set up by him, and from that point onwards, throughout the fight, there is no further indication of anything beyond Arthur supposedly being nothing other than a simple cartoon supervillain who doesn’t really care about his actions, even though the novel has enough evidence scattered around that he does— he doesn’t want to be in that situation, he doesn’t actually want to kill anyone, and what he’s after is a memory of someone most dear to him which he’s desperate to get back, and believe it or not, all of this dialogue is, in fact, not supposed to be said coldly and flatly before having his ability centered to no end once more, shining the light on that aspect instead of a character who was originally someone most unfortunate and hopeless, someone who was in an inescapable situation that would have never ended well for him no matter what he’d done, and someone who was far from the person being portrayed in the manga currently.

With all that being said, one more thing I’d like to point out, which is a bit more specific to phases 16/17 at the current moment, is the way the interactions between Chuuya and Arthur are being portrayed as of right now. In the novel, it is made quite clear the two are, indeed, opponents in their fight, but Arthur has no actual desire to kill Chuuya, and Chuuya himself doesn’t actually hold anything against Arthur— in fact, it’s quite explicit in showcasing the fact that Chuuya has respect for him, understanding his motive of wanting to save a dear friend, even cursing out Dazai for not believing it or taking it seriously, and never showing any kind of outward excitement for this fight, which…will be relevant in just a second. If that’s not enough to convince a person, there’s also Chuuya visiting Arthur’s grave further in the novel and quite literally stating he will return to it again, and before that, I believe that Arthur telling Chuuya to live in his last moments also speaks volumes about the fact that there was no resentment or genuine conflict between the two, rather an unfortunate fate they were met with. In the manga, however, I don’t think it’s a reach to say that I’m not quite getting the same feeling. I’ll go ahead and admit that I’m focusing on this because of personal bias, but even despite that, I feel as though having Arthur written off as merely Chuuya’s opponent and nothing more is still not the right way to go about it, considering what I said before— there wasn’t an actual hostility between the two, and not only did Arthur tell Chuuya to live, he also was the one to call Chuuya a human being and see him as such, that of which I’d expect far more attention to just due to the mere nature of Chuuya’s character.

Now, for the first time ever, I will go into some very specific details, because I need them to show what I’m talking about. All further translation credits go to DarkestJay868 on Twitter.

This page from phase 16 was the one right after what was originally Arthur’s monologue about wanting to save his partner, and I believe it’s quite clear how I feel about that part, but I haven’t redrawn this page in particular despite it being in my original plans, so it’s only fair I give my thoughts on it while it’s relevant.

I would normally only nitpick these aspects privately instead of posting them online, but since this manga makes even such small things important for all the wrong reasons, I have to point them out. I initially didn’t think so much of this page, though I did find it a peculiar choice to make him look almost excited for the fight, atop the final line which never appeared in the novel itself— something that may seem insignificant, but ultimately, it does create the effect that Chuuya is somewhat eager to engage in this conflict for whatever reason, which is simply not the case. I could go on about some smaller dialogue changes, even his lack of harshness towards Dazai’s comments that makes his original reaction quite downplayed, but I’m leaving those in a quick mention of acknowledgment, as they’re only secondary to what I’m aiming at here.

I would have ignored this, given there’s a much bigger issue for me to focus on, had Chuuya and Arthur’s skewed interactions not continued onwards to phase 17 as well— more specifically, after Chuuya’s attacks, by the end of the chapter.

If someone were to tell me these two didn’t actually have any kind of internal conflict going on between them beforehand, I wouldn’t have believed it for a second, but here we are. From the first page, in which the original Chuuya of the novel was hurt and tired instead of almost feeling as though he isn’t taking anything too seriously, all while Arthur never said a word that nearly implies him looking down on the latter (his direct quote is “Nothing I say will help…this is my space”, you simply cannot tell me that isn’t far more neutral than what the manga turned it into), to the second page, where not only is Chuuya’s first line much more accusatory and directed at Arthur himself, rather than the original (“…everyone’s an ant to a European ability user…”), but also, might I add that Arthur wasn’t the one to hold Chuuya in place? It’s explicitly stated that Chuuya could no longer avoid the attacks by fault of using too much of his power, and even though this may sound like an insignificant detail when one is to consider the following scene of the novel— that is, almost being the one to end Chuuya’s life, which is absolutely no less cruel than a mere action like that— it still gives off the impression as though there’s some kind of hostility between them when there really wasn’t, not even during a fight to the death, and that, in the context of this manga and its very likely fandom reception…well, I’d much rather just cover even the smallest of details than watch as it ultimately gets misconstrued, as so much media surrounding this novel often does.

Anyway, that’s my take on these chapters for now. I’m aware it’s messy, I’ve only seen phase 17 a couple of hours ago and haven’t exactly prepared some kind of proper dissection. Naturally, feel free to take all this with a grain of salt, or even a whole bucket of it, because yes, I am very salty about the way this manga is going, but I’m hoping to ultimately compare it to the novel and give my own opinion on the development here.

[dogmetaph0r]

❤️ and 💚 for ask game (i’d actually love to hear your opinion about like the whole ass ask list but i hope two is alright)

why of COURSE........i love this list

putting my answers under the cut because this got long as HELL

❤️: I think the most egregiously mischaracterized character in the fandom is Grace. lil gracie-poo. gracie face. Can you tell I adore her?? I understand why the fandom is divided about her, but I think there can and should be a difference between a character's personality and a character being poorly written. I think they really dropped the ball on Grace since she returned. I have always seen her as a complicated woman. On the one hand, she's very smart. She's capable. She has her shit moooostly together, but at the same time she's a bit of a wildcard and prepared to use her FUCKING GUN to say no means fucking no, you son of a bitch. She can be snarky, bitter, and vengeful. She's quick-witted and can push back at Tommy when he's being.....well, Tommy. On the OTHER hand, she is also so, so sweet. Grace prefers peace and love and family. She likes to be surrounded by good. She likes to DO good. She likes order and has a tendency to follow the rules, both social and according to her job. I think because she's a female character, this comes across as boring and unimaginative because that's what's expected of women (and I don't blame anyone for thinking this, but realistically we ALL know a pretty girl who's a total sweetheart). But I think she had a lot of potential as the lawful good reluctantly drawn into Tommy's chaos after her return, and unfortunately she was fridged because that moved the plot along. I do think it was the right decision for Tommy's resulting breakdown, but not giving us the time to remake that connection with her and learn what she's all about now that she has it all??? and then violently rip her away before many people have the chance to form an emotional attachment???? mannnn cmon. Overall I understand the criticism, because I too didn't really like her at first, but I honestly do think she gets the short end of the stick from the fandom because she's a woman. If we saw a male character doing the same thing (or, hell, also doing what society expects of him. cough cough) I can almost guarantee you that the reaction would not be the same.

💚: AUGH anyway. next one. My favorite character is Alfieee. I already had a bit of a ramble on TGoAS earlier and the details I wanted to analyze more from there, but besides that trauma, I think people honestly give him too much credit for thinking ahead. He is SUCH a good bullshitter. He schemes, yes, but many of those agreements with enemies and planned betrayals are kinda spur of the moment, entirely based on whether or not someone offers him something he likes more. I think the most planning we've seen him do to my memory has been getting Arthur arrested, and it really was mostly Alfie's love for theatrics and excitement that pulled it all together. Tommy figures him out quick as hell, but sees him as an equal. In my mind that means yes, he is incredibly smart and ambitious and a stellar leader, but he's a habitual enough liar that it's not hard to figure him out. Plus, as cute and ursine as his little quirks are, he's no teddy bear. That man is a serious danger and is more than ready to go grizzly mode at a moment's notice (i have thoughts on c-ptsd there too but that's for another time). I love the way people interpret him, because he IS silly and sassy and fun, but he also is kind of a motherfucker and more than a little recklessly impulsive. It's what "kills" him, after all! I've read some really good fics that tap into his rage and impulsivity while also giving him the room to feel disgust at his actions and experience the brutal gift of hindsight (as much as he hides the human part of himself, the section in TGoAS about his nightmares was impactful), but I can't remember which ones they were atm. Also, this is so niche, but I don't know how good of a dad he really would be. I think he'd be FUN, but I don't know about "good at parenting". But I'm gonna ignore that because it's the less fun hypothetical and I like to have fun sglkjslkgjsdl

[fruitcoops]

okay so we all love dad dumo and he's an incredible parent but even dumo isn't perfect. Could we maybe have dumo snapping at logan (or sirius, if it strikes your fancy, but i love dumo+logan dynamics) and then apologizing for it like a parent actually f*cking should

Oof, yes. Combined with asks for Sirius and Logan bonding, as well as some pre-Cap and James. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!

TW for parental figure disappointment

The car rumbled. Dumo’s hands squeaked on the wheel as he flexed his fingers. Logan felt like he was going to throw up.

Can we turn around real quick? No, too vague. Can we go home so I can use the bathroom? No, he’ll say I can wait another ten minutes. I forgot my phone at home? No, he saw me put it in my pocket. Logan ran through every possible way of asking to go back to the Dumais house without giving away his dilemma; with each scenario, they grew further from where he needed to be.

“Hey, Dumo?” he began quietly, swallowing around his dry mouth. What was it his father always said? Honesty is the best policy. “We need to go back to your house for a moment.”

“We’re already running late,” Dumo said, not even sparing him a glance in the rearview mirror. The traffic around them was a mess. “If we go back, we’ll miss the first part of warmups.”

“I know, but it’s kind of important.”

“So is the game. If it’s your wallet, you don’t need it right—”

“I left my skates by the front door.”

Dead silence filled the car as Dumo slowed to a stop at the fourth red light. Logan’s heart sank and his stomach crawled into his throat. “What?”

“I left my skates by the front door,” he repeated, staring at his hands. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking—”

“Tabernak, Logan!” Dumo snapped. He felt something inside him wither and die. “First the nap, then forgetting to wash your jersey, and now you left your fucking skates behind? What’s going on in your head? You are an adult now with responsibilities, and it’s your job to keep track of your shit.”

“I know,” Logan said quietly.

Dumo huffed. “Clearly you don’t! Do you just not care? Is that it?”

“I care.”

“This isn’t a college team, Logan.” Dumo’s accent grew harsh around his name. It had been a bad day for him—Adele came down with a nasty cold just after Celeste left to visit her parents for the weekend, and there was always an added pressure with home games. Logan knew that, and he knew he should have been paying better attention.

“I know.”

Dumo muttered a curse under his breath and pulled onto a side road, then swore again when his duffle bag slid in the passenger seat. Logan closed his eyes; there was no way they would make it all the way to the house and back to the rink in time for pre-game rituals. Damn it, Tremblay. What were you thinking?

They drove the rest of the way in silence. Dumo parked the car with a quiet “go”, and Logan hurried inside with a slight nod to the babysitter as he grabbed his skates before slinking back to the car with his head hung low.

“I’m really disappointed in you,” Dumo said when they reached the freeway again.

“I’m sorry.”

He received no response.

They won the game despite skipping all their superstitions, no thanks to Logan. He played like shit; Arthur barely gave him four shifts the whole night. Finn shot him a concerned look as he rinsed off and slipped back into his street clothes, but Logan didn’t have the energy to confront both his best friend and the upsetting feelings connected to the aforementioned best-friend-slash-secret-crush. If he tried, he’d certainly end up doing something stupid.

He packed his things, slung his bag over his shoulder, and followed Dumo out to the car like a stray dog with his tail between his legs. “I really am—”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Dumo interrupted as they pulled out of the parking lot. Logan pressed his lips together. “Are you hungry?”

Starving. “Kinda.”

“I’ll heat up some leftover lasagna when we get back to the house. Will you pay the babysitter and make sure the kids are in bed?”

“Sure.”

“Thank you.”

Logan ground his teeth around the steady ache building in his chest—he hated disappointing people in general, but it was a whole different story with Dumo. He was his second father, the person Logan admired most on the team. He gave him a home and a substitute family to ease the homesickness, and was always there to cheer him on. And Logan let him down.

They went through their nightly routine silently, which was a sharp contrast to their usual banter. Marc and Louis refused to go to bed at first, nearly bringing Logan to tears in his frustration, but he eventually got them settled down and tucked in. By some miracle, both the girls were already asleep.

“I’m going to call Celeste,” Dumo finally said as Logan unloaded the dishwasher. He nodded without a word, not trusting his voice.

As soon as the dishwasher was full and running, Logan took his phone out and dialed the only person he wanted to hear from. It rang twice before connecting. “Hello?”

“Hey.” His voice cracked and he cleared his throat. “Hey, Cap, what’s up?”

“Not much.” Sirius sounded confused, and more than a little tired. “Ça va?”

Logan’s eyes burned. “Not bad. Do you have a minute?”

There was a rustling noise from the other end, followed by the clink of keys. “You’re at Dumo’s, right?”

“Oui.”

“I’ll be there in ten.”

“Thanks,” he managed around his tight throat. “See you soon.”

Hushed voices came from the living room and Logan padded down the hall, knocking gently on the doorframe. Dumo looked up and furrowed his brow. “Un moment, mon amour. Are you alright?”

“Sirius is coming by in ten. We’re going to hang out for a bit, if that’s okay.”

“Tell him I say hello.” Without another word, Dumo uncovered the base of his phone and returned to his conversation. Logan nodded and headed back out into the hall, swallowing down the tears forming behind his eyes.

Ten minutes turned out to be seven minutes—Logan was simultaneously flattered and concerned—and a soft knock startled him out of his thoughts. Sirius already looked worried when the front door swung open. “What happened? Is everyone okay? Did something happen to Celeste?”

“She’s fine. Dumo says hi.” And he’s horribly disappointed in me. Logan took several deep breaths through his nose to control the tremor in his voice and Sirius gave him a worried once-over. “Can we drive around for a bit?”

“Of course.”

For all of his bluster and general brooding vibe, Sirius continued to be the king of empathy and (in Logan’s opinion) a secret mind-reader. The second his arm draped across Logan’s shoulders and held him close as they walked down the sidewalk, he felt some of the pressure in his chest release. “Sorry about the late call,” he sniffled. It was a cold night—the snot threatening to drip from his nose was frigid already. “I just—I needed to get out for a minute.”

“À tout moment.” Any time. Logan didn’t feel deserving of that kindness after the mess he had been on the ice. The heaters kicked on as soon as Sirius started the car and Logan closed his eyes, leaning back into the warm seat. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“It’s so stupid.”

“Doesn’t sound like it.”

Logan took a moment to breathe before shaking his head. “I forgot my skates. We were already running late, and I forgot my fucking skates at the house.”

Sirius hummed, but said nothing.

“It’s—Dumo has been having such a horrible day.” Tears clogged his throat again. “And I took a nap earlier because I stayed up late last night like an idiot, and Adele’s sick so he had all the kids and no help while he was trying to get ready, and then I overslept so it was already going to be rushed and forgot to clean my jersey and then—and then I forgot my skates. God, I’m so stupid.”

“Don’t say that.”

“It’s true.”

“It’s not.” Logan wanted to kick him for being so infuriatingly patient. Sirius glanced at him out of the corner of his eye. “That’s not why you’re upset, though.”

“He’s—” Logan broke off and swiped the first tear away with his sweatshirt cuff. “He said he was disappointed in me.”

“Ah.”

“It’s such a stupid thing to be upset about.”

Sirius sighed through his nose and pulled into the parking lot of a 24-hour Taco Bell, then turned off the car and faced Logan with one eyebrow raised. “Stop doing that.”

“Doing what?”

“Belittling yourself.”

“Okay, Heather,” Logan snorted. Sirius reached over and flicked him on the forehead. “Hey!”

“You forgot your skates. Big deal. We’ve all been there.”

Logan shot him a glare. “You’ve never forgotten your skates.”

“Yes, I have. My very first game with the Lions, actually. Except I didn’t realize it until we were already at the rink.”

“Did Dumo drive you back?”

“The whole damn way. He was mad as hell, but he did it.” Sirius’ face softened, and he poked Logan gently on the thigh. “Stop kicking yourself for this one. It sounds like it was a bad day for you both.”

“I still feel like shit.”

Sirius shrugged. “I bet. Disappointing Dumo is the worst feeling ever.”

“He wouldn’t even let me apologize.”

“He will.”

They sat in silence for a full minute as Logan tried to find the right words. “How did you deal with it? Letting people down. It feels like I’m drowning, sometimes.”

“Really, really poorly,” Sirius half-laughed, crossing his ankle over his knee. “It wasn’t until I was named captain that I started accepting that people weren’t lying when they forgave me for fucking up.”

“Why?”

“Believe it or not, the people I was around as a kid didn’t make a habit of apologizing to me when they did something wrong.”

Logan looked up from the faded letters on his sweatshirt sleeve and sniffled. “Thanks for bringing me out here.”

“Pas de problem. I figured you could use some company outside the house.”

“You’re the best.”

“I try.”

“You succeed.” You’re like a brother to me, actually. “Is this what James did for you?”

“No,” Sirius laughed. Affection took over his face, bright even in the dim light from the streetlamps. “No, he snuck me onto the roof of the rink with massive amounts of junk food and stayed with me until the imposter syndrome faded. It was fantastic, but we nearly got hypothermia several times in the winter. This is much more comfortable.”

“Thanks for helping me keep all my fingers and toes,” Logan said wryly. He lapsed back into silence and folded his forearms on the dashboard, sighing at the pleasant stretch of his back. “I know I have to go back eventually, but I’m scared.”

“Honestly, Logan, I bet he’s already forgiven you. He knows it was an accident.”

“But what if he doesn’t?” The words came out as little more than a whisper. Sirius’ hand rested hesitantly between his shoulder blades until Logan leaned back into it, then began rubbing gentle circles.

“He does,” Sirius said softly. “And he loves you so much.”

Logan sniffed back more tears. “Really?”

“Ouais. You’ve been living with him for nine months now, and he’s so proud of how far you’ve come.”

“How do you know?”

“Because he told me. Last week, after your hat trick. People fuck up, Logan, but that doesn’t mean they’re unforgivable. You don’t need to flay yourself for one bad day.”

Logan shut his eyes with a slow exhale and buried his face in his forearms. “I think I’m ready to go back now.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“D’accord. Buckle your seatbelt.”

He straightened up and stretched, wincing at the crack of his back. Sirius drove out of the parking lot and hummed under his breath to the radio, but Logan didn’t miss the careful glances out of the corner of his eye. “You don’t need to worry about me,” he finally said. “I’ll be okay.”

“I know,” Sirius said casually, though he looked like he was holding something back. Logan didn’t press; Sirius would talk in his own time if he wanted to. He opened his mouth, paused, then sighed. “But I do worry about you.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

Thank you, Captain Black, for the most media answer of all time. “You really don’t have to.”

Sirius parked the car and leaned his head back against the seat. “You’re my friend, and I care about you, so I worry.”

Logan blinked at him. “You care about me?”

“Obviously,” Sirius muttered. Even in the darkness of the street, his cheeks were pink. “Now go on, you've got someone waiting for you.”

“I care about you, too.”

“Out of my car, Tremblay.” Despite his words, a smile quirked at the corner of Sirius’ mouth. Logan socked him lightly on the arm and opened the door, shivering in the night air as it bit through his hoodie.

“Drive safe, Cap.”

“I will.”

The walk to the front door felt less like a trip to the gallows and more like coming home; Logan felt his muscles relax, and saw the curtains shift as someone moved away from the window. Dumo opened the door before he could even knock.

“I’m sorry,” they said in unison. Logan raised his eyebrows and Dumo opened the door the rest of the way, ushering him inside.

The moment the door closed behind him, Dumo wrapped him in a hug. “I’m so sorry for what I said earlier, Logan. You made a mistake, and I shouldn’t have come down hard on you.”

“I’m sorry I made us late,” Logan said into his soft shirt. “And for not helping earlier. It won’t happen again.”

“All is forgiven.” Dumo patted him on the back of the shoulder and held him at arm’s length with a sad smile. “I should have kept a better handle on my temper. You don’t deserve to be spoken to like that.”

Logan bit back the urge to say it’s okay or I deserved it and instead pulled him in for another hug. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I didn’t realize how much you’ve helped me until today.”

Dumo made a quiet sound and held him tighter. “It’s a gift to have you here.”

Logan squeezed his eyes shut as a wave of emotion rolled in his heart. “There is nowhere I would rather be,” he whispered. They stayed like that for a long moment, swaying slightly, before Dumo stepped back.

“Get some rest. We have early practice tomorrow.” He mussed Logan’s hair and gave him a nudge toward the stairs. “Bonne nuit, mon fils.”

Mon fils. Logan’s breath caught for a second and he smiled. “Bonne nuit.”

[weakforarwen]

Goblin’s Gold

I think Beauty and the Beast and Goblin’s Gold are cousins, except one is a lot grosser, yet somehow more serious, than the other. 

Kudos to Richard Wilson for playing the goblin so well. He nailed it. On the same note, Angel nailed her parts as well. Her embarrassment around Arthur was so cute and funny. She had great facial expressions and reactions. 

The funniest part of the episode was definitely the flatulence bit. Usually that sort of humor’s not up my alley, but the fact that it happened to Uther of all people, who was wearing a hilarious, and not at all period appropriate, aviator hat, and Morgana, the resident Ice Queen, made it a lot funnier. Angel’s reactions were priceless as well. Uther and Morgana tried to act cool and noble, but my girl Gwen looked ready to walk herself to the town square and light herself on fire. It’s not often that Arthur’s the least ridiculous person in a room. 

I gotta say that Uther’s baldness and special hair loss treatment were also very appreciated. I was reminded of a scene in Modern Family in which Gloria asked Jay to slap around a chicken in honor of her culture and Jay was too white to realize she was messing with him.

It’s hard to believe no one thought Gaius had been acting strangely. He beat a huge dude, half his age, at arm wrestling and no one called bullshit on that? I suppose no one had a good explanation for Gaius’s behavior, or wanted to get on the bad side of an esteemed member of the court. This was one of the few times Merlin actually tried telling people the truth about magic wrecking havoc in the castle, but, like Gaius always said would happen, no one believed him. No one but Arthur.

Even stranger than no one noticing Gaius’s suspicious behavior was Arthur being the one to figure it out. But let’s not give him too much credit. After Merlin exposed Gaius, it was only a matter of putting two and two together. Surely even Arthur can do that. After all, in what planet would Gaius be so gleeful about Merlin’s death? Uther didn’t notice it because he doesn’t care for his servants, and Morgana was all too happy to see Merlin go. 

Speaking of Morgana, the episode got unexpectedly dark during her scene with Gaius. That scene was perhaps the only real thing in the episode, apart from Arwen being lovesick fools. I guess it was undeniable proof that the old Morgana was entirely gone. It was the only time Goblin Gaius got serious about anything.

The episode’s honestly too silly to belong to season 3. In Beauty and the Beast, Arthur and Arwen had some development, so it wasn’t all just nonsense, but this episode is about 99% nonsense. It’s not too bad though. At least, Arthur didn’t just accept Merlin’s execution, and we had plenty of Gwen (and Gaius)!

Gwen was a cutie this episode. She got to help Merlin save Gaius (so, yay for screentime, and, also, I love it when those two work together), and she really had the best reactions. Gwen loves Arthur so much she didn’t even laugh at him when he became a human-donkey hybrid. She thought he looked cute and even tried to pet him but Arthur felt too emasculated to let her (although he was clearly enjoying it). Merlin really had to convince her to face Arthur again though. It’s a testament to their love that Gwen and Arthur weren’t turned off of each other for good after all this; instead, they chose to be mature and pretend nothing had happened. In any case, it was nice, and different, seeing them be silly with each other. But, still, the best goofy Arwen scene is, no contest, the one where Gwen and Gaius stop Arthur from death by bath water. It was a good job, indeed. 

Sadly, some of the humor in the episode fell flat. Arthur as a donkey wasn’t particularly funny. It was too ridiculous. He already embarrasses himself enough and looks like a buffoon around 70% of the time. His character was funnier when seriously reacting to Uther, Gwen, and Morgana losing it in the throne room. It’s funnier if he looks like the smartest and most dignified person present; Uther, Gwen, and Morgana are usually very poised, so it was amusing to see them lose their composure. But the donkey bit was tacky, and Merlin’s laughter felt forced. 

[docholligay]

The Green Knight: A Ramble Through the Field of Honor

So I talked in an earlier post very glancingly about the line “Why greatness? Is goodness not enough?” and how it fits into the idea that Gawain has no idea what true greatness looks like, and I think, dovetailing into that, we kind of have to talk about how Gawain is...not a great guy. 

And I’m not even talking about the way we begin the movie with him in a brothel, though I am going to use that to spring off here and talk about his conduct toward Essel. Knightly stories are full of these ideas of chivalry particularly around women, and I think Lowery is using Essel to make the point that Gawain is not doing that, not even remotely. Essel is a working girl, sure, but she’s also, as its shown throughout the movie, devoted to him, and cares for him far beyond his ability to provide for her. She even tells him that she has his gold, when she asks to be his lady, but she wants very simple things--to sit by his side at the fire, and have his ear, and be his lady. In full fairness to Gawain, I suppose, he never pretends even for a moment that he has any intention of doing that. Gawain is not interested in whatever he might owe her, because in seeking his greatness he utterly passes by this goodness. 

We see this again in “A Kindness” where he repeatedly tells the scavenger that he is “Just passing through” when asked if he is a knight, not dodging the question, exactly, but allowing the scavenger to think this untrue thing. The scavenger talks about how he has brothers out there, the wide field of bodies like the fallen trees, showing us the lumber that Camelot is built upon, but Gawain does not have a moment for sympathy or pause. He fails to see this kid as a human being, and the narrative allows us to glance over it too, fixated in the same way Gawain is on the destination and not the journey. 

Even when he is given instructions about how to get to the Green Chapel, when it’s been shown he has only the roughest sketched ideas of the way--and we can argue that the instructions may be false, but I’m not sure I think it matters--all he offers this scavenger, this BOY, is his thanks, despite being told he’s lost his family, was almost lost himself. He has to be shamed into offering a single coin, when Excalibur itself was offered to him when he needed the help. 

This goes back to the idea of a test, and of Gawain’s repeated failures to have honor, to be great. He can’t see that mercy and generosity are a part of what it means to be a knight, to bear that mantle of goodness that I would argue underlies the knightly ideal. 

This is why, when he’s captured and his things taken from him, he asks for the GReen Chapel and is told, “You’re in it.” This is a test as surely as kneeling before the Knight himself, and he’s failed, not only the test of generosity, but of courage, as he pleads with them that he’s not a knight, and he never said he was, and it’s true, that he isn’t, and so he’s stripped of all the trappings that make him a knight--his horse, his arms, his shield--because if he will not behave a knight, if he will not meet the world with the courage and honor he’s meant to have, then he may as well have none of it at all. 

Gawain is pretty much a world-class fuckboy until the Tale of St. Winifred, until he truly connects with the natural impulse within him in the form of the fox (More on this in a much longer later post) 

The tale of St. Winifred is his chance to begin his redemption, really the first time that he’s been willing to take any real instruction on the nature of becoming a knight--he sure as shit could not be bothered to listen to Arthur--and so this is where he earns back the axe. He earns back the right to even have this quest in the first place. 

I don’t know how much the audience knows about the tale of St. Winifred, but the details are changed from the usual telling of the story in order to support the themes of the film.  St. Winifred is also, in one sense, a tale of beheading and of virtue. That in upholding her ‘purity,’ she lost her life and her head. This is why I think it’s not actually a foregone conclusion that Gawain is spared at the end--I think Lowery makes the point that sometimes our values must be paid for in blood. 

The flexible nature of honor is addressed directly in Winifred’s story. From the beginning, when she tells him not to touch her, that “a knight should know better,” there’s a sort of restarting the clock on his ability to be that knight. He just failed the last test, but as people, we are not who we are in one moment, whether that is terribly virtuous, or terribly cowardly, but the accumulation of who we are in all the moments. Each story is the chance to start again, and that’s why you’ll see so much menton of his being a knight at the start of each ‘section.’ It’s his chance to begin this anew. 

In that way of, just tell the audience what’s going on, when Winifred is telling her story, of a man who came and desired to lay with her, and says, ‘Perhaps he was thee,’ that’s not just speaking to the sense of circles and repetition of nature in the movie--though not unrelated--but the idea that Gawain could be that man, could still, in a sense, choose to be that man. That he can always fail this test, too. 

“If I go and get it, what will be my reward?”

It takes you aback, just for a moment, when he asks her that, until we realize that we were all asking ourselves that too. Reading into the traditions behind knights and saints, I think we’re used to the idea that a boon will be received for dong the right thing, and Lowery asks us to evaluate all that in Winifred’s reply:

 “Why would you ask me that? Why would you ever ask me that?” 

Harkening back to when he didn’t give the kid more than just a single coin, and telling him, “my thanks”--does he really have the right to ask for such a thing when he couldn’t manage to reward kindness himself-- but also the idea that honorable tasks should be taken up for their own sake, and not in order to have a reward. Can you truly be said to be acting with chivalry and honor if you’re doing it for a reward, or even notoriety? 

Going back to my larger theory that Lowery is trying to bring forth the idea in all of this that there is no such thing as being a “knightly” sort of person at rest, while still holding that the decisions of a moment can cement the sort of person we continue to be, it makes sense that he would ask if we can say Gawain passes this test, if Winifred regards him. 

“Now I can see thee,” she says, because this is a baptism of sorts, and being a saint, she can only see a soul in clarity. This is the direct opposite to the moment that Arthur tells him he has mud on his face, this is in direct opposite to his behavior with Essel, this is him doing the right and kind thing for a woman, without a thought to reward, and in that, he is cleaned, and Winifred can see what’s underneath, the sort of man he can be under what he’s accumulated. 

ANd this is why he gets back the axe. It gives him leave to continue his quest, even though just a bit earlier, when asked where he was going, he simply said, “home.” But the show of the axe let him know that honor was not yet lost to him, that there was still a chance to be the sort of person he might have been. 

WHich, by the way, does not makes things clear to him still. Life is not that simple, and I am very very resolute on my idea that a lot of what this movie is about is about the journey of our own lives to meet death and live with honor inasmuch as we can overcome our own cowardice and shitty behavior to do so, and even at the end of it all, about to meet the Green Knight, asked why he’s doing it, expressing that honor is why a knight does what he does, and then, pressed, says:

“Honor is a part of the life I want.” 

This is Lowery pretty firmly taking aim at the old Arthurian texts, wherein honor very often good be a sole raison d’etre, saying that for most of us--and I would argue the whole reason Gawain is a fuck up is that he’s meant to represent most of us--that isn’t enough. There needs to be something more. 

I also don’t think, for all I’ve talked about tests, that Gawain’s cowardice with the Green Knight had to be the end of the story. I think Essel’s pregnancy, and his cruelty, was a test. I think lying about what happened in the Green Chapel and accepting a knighthood was a test. I think there are multiple tests in that little interlude, but you see, the problem is, the more you do something, the more you’ll do it. As he makes these choices, this more and more becomes the man he is, as these choices stack up like stones, it gets harder and harder to knock down that wall. This is why his green sash--his cowardice--has become a physical part of him by the end of that interlude, bleeding as he draws it out. 

Honor isn’t set, and it isn’t enough. Life is a confusing journey, rife with difficulty to do the right thing with consistency not because of outside influence so much as ourselves. Gawain’s great antagonist in al of this is not the Green Knight, but himself. Such as it is for all of us, as we TRY to be good people, and risk sometimes redefining honor, or greatness, what it means to be “a knight” in order to convince ourselves that it might be true. 

“Is this all there is?” Gawain asks, before the axe is laid down, and I want to give Dev Patel a lot of credit here, though I’ve mostly been focusing on imagery and story. I’m not sure this would work as well if he hadn’t made it feel quite as human as it does, when he says it. It’s the question I think all of us ask, as we contemplate our own deaths, our own struggles to even up with what was right. Is there no way of knowing what comes next? 

Life is a series of tests. A measure of honor. And what else ought there be?

On Doc and The Green Knight

[ijustwant2write]

Brought Together-George Weasley x Reader

(GIF credit to @tanrininsonteki​)

(I’ve written loads about Fred, George needed some love too!)

Summary: Who ever gets over the death of their brother? The death of their son? A friend? (Y/N) and the twins were always together, as if joined at the hip (or hips rather). But once the trio became a duo, one person had to become stronger than the other, pushing down their emotions and feelings to help the person they loved; because when things are put in perspective, it’s so obvious who their soulmate should be. 

Characters: George Weasley x Reader, Weasley family x Reader (platonic), mentions of Fred Weasley

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Lots and lots of fluff, death, mourning, suppressed feelings/emotions

                                            *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My body was numb. Whether it was from exhaustion, shock, trauma, fear or the wounds scattered across my body, it didn’t matter to me, I couldn’t bring myself to move. With my knees hunched up to my chest, my hand tightly gripped onto my wand, showing how much I was shaking. A shadow cast over me, but I didn’t move my head. In my peripheral vision, I saw someone sit next to me, gently taking my wand away before I snapped it in half.

“You haven’t moved. It’s over now (Y/N).” 

George saddled up to me, slowly put an arm around my shoulders. I leaned into him, letting him rest his chin on top of my head. My hand grabbed his free one, guiding it to wrap it around my waist, pulling him close for a hug. It felt relieving to have human contact, to feel someone else’s heartbeat, knowing that they were alive here with me. There was too much blood, too much crying, too many friends lying dead or unconscious on the stone floor. Although fear had been pulsing through my body throughout the entire time we were fighting, my mind wouldn’t accept the concept of anyone dying; yet here I sat, having watch the life drained away from one of my best friends.

“George?” I suddenly gasped, pulling away from him.

His eyes widened at my movement.“What?”

“You’re here, aren’t you? George, please don’t tell me I’m imagining you?!” my voice raised as I panicked, and George tried to shush me. I was disrupting the first sign of peace.

“Yes, yes, (Y/N) I’m here. I’m real,” tears started rolling down his cheeks, but he attempted a smile,“I’m not leaving you. I won’t ever leave you.”

I groaned as I picked up another box, feeling the pain in my back. At ‘Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes’, we were re-stocking for the beginning of the Christmas season, changing around the shop to give it a fresh look. George was rolling up his sleeves, stepping back from the display he created. I approached him, standing with my arms crossed as I admired his work.

“I like it.” I simply said.

“Just like?” George nudged me with his elbow.

I smiled, rolling my eyes.“You know what I meant.”

“Come on, I’ll help you with the last boxes.”

“You don’t have to George. Have a break.”

He walked past me.“Nonsense. We’ve got places to be.”

“What do you mean?”

“Drinks after work of course. Seeing as it’s just us today, I thought we could head to the Three Broomsticks, like we used to.”

I blushed, happy that he turned away from me to not see it. Following after him, I tried not to stare too much as he decided how we should set out the certain product. When he was engulfed in his work, something that he was so passionate about, it was like I was seeing the old George, the cheeky chap from school (not that he wasn’t cheeky anymore). These small moments were captured in my memories, pushing back the old, terrible ones. He deserved to be happy, especially when all he wanted to do was make other people laugh with the jokes and pranks they sold.

We managed to finish the new displays within the next hour, meaning it was time for us to relax with a good drink. It wasn’t going to be a night of getting drunk, just two...friends enjoying each other’s company. Wrapping up warm, George locked up, holding out his arm to me as we hurried to the pub, wanting to be out of the cold as soon as possible. Once at the Three Broomsticks, we were easily able to find a table, being served instantly as it wasn’t busy, only a few locals filled the space.

“Actually,” George started after setting his drink down,“I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

There was that blush again. It seemed that words didn’t want to form.“Hm?”

“Well, obviously you’re always welcome round mine. But I was wondering if you wanted to come over for Christmas? Not the actual day cause I know you’ll be with your family, but just before-”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“What?”

He chuckled.“That didn’t take much persuasion, did it?”

“I love your family. You didn’t even need to ask. But you sounded nervous.”

“Did I?”

I nodded, taking a sip of my drink. 

“W-well, I...I don’t know what you’re talking about.” he looked everywhere except in my direction.“You ever seen me nervous?”

I giggled.“You don’t remember asking me to the Yule Ball-”

He waved his hands dismissively, which only made me laugh harder.“We said to never speak of that again, remember?”

I shrugged, a grin still on my face.“I still think it was more cute than nervous.”

Now it was his turn to tease me.“You think I’m cute?”

“Thought, I thought the whole idea was cute. But you can’t deny that it wasn’t a good night.”

“No, that was fun.” we were both in thought.“You looked beautiful in that dress.”

I waited for a snarky remark, but nothing came.“But?”

“What do you mean, ‘but’?”

“Oh, usually you just...never mind.” 

“Anyway,” George cleared his throat,“you know mum wouldn’t take no for an answer, so you’ll have to pack a bag to stay a few nights.”

I laughed.“I would expect nothing less. Gosh, what to get all you Weasley’s for Christmas?”

“Don’t be daft. You don’t need to get everyone presents.”

“Of course I do!”

“Tell you what, why don’t we join up for presents? Buy them together.”

“You know what George, that’s probably the best idea you’ve had for a while.” I smirked.

He scoffed a laugh.“Right, I know I offered to buy the drinks, but that stops now!”

We had a few weeks before my time at the Weasley’s, meaning we were able to think and buy everyone’s presents. During lunch breaks or on days off, we would scour the shops, coming out of them with bags and bags hanging off our arms. I was always excited to see my second family, and Christmas was a fun, special time of year for everyone. The night before we were set to visit them, I stayed with George as we had to set off early the next morning. It was lovely when we stayed with each other.

"I know you only clean this place up when I come round, just admit it!" I giggled as we laid in bed facing the other, discarded chocolate wrappings scattered between us. 

George laughed with me, rolling onto his back, looking up at the ceiling. As we calmed down, I bundled up into a tight ball, feeling a slight chill, which George noticed. He said nothing as he leaned his upper body off of the bed, grabbing a blanket from who knows where before wrapping it around me. My gaze remained on him as he tucked me in, enjoying the small amount of attention. Feeling hands on me made butterflies emerge in my stomach, and the caring side to him was the sweetest thing I had ever seen. 

"I will admit, I did buy that blanket just for you. You complained about being cold enough to drive me mad." he smirked. 

I clutched onto the soft fabric."Well, if you're going to speak to me like that, then I guess I'll just leave." 

He tucked his arms beneath his head, closing his eyes slowly."Go on then. See you later." 

When neither of us moved, we tried to contain our laughter, both failing miserably as our cackles rang out in his bedroom. It was like our sleepovers we had when we were much younger, they stopped as we...changed at a certain age. 

“Are you sure everyone will like their presents?" I wondered. 

He sighed lightly."We've been over this. You could pick up a weed from our own garden and they would fawn over it. It's not the gift they want, it's you." 

My mouth open, prepared to protest against him as he teased me again, but I was stuck for words."George...that's a lovely thing to say." 

His head lolled to face me, his face scrunching up in disgust."I take it back." 

"No!" I quickly said."You can't pretend you didn't say that!" 

"Say what?" he teased.

"George!" 

Carrying everyone’s presents in our arms, George and I prepared ourselves for the onslaught of hugs and kisses we would be attacked with before we could even set down any of the presents or our bags. We were still a few steps away from the door when it was fiercely pulled open, Molly squealing and throwing her arms up in joy.

“Oh, you’re here! Arthur, they’re here!” she was beaming.

She hastily took the presents from George’s arms, impatiently ushering him inside as Arthur (who was a bit more reserved) took my presents, before I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek as a greeting. Once all of our belongings were set down, proper hugs were given, just as bone crushing as they usually were.

“Oh, it’s so lovely to have you over dear.” Molly gushed.

“Mum, she was here a month ago.” George said.

“Well, it wouldn’t matter if it was just a day, I would miss her the same amount.” 

I smiled at her.“Thank you Molly. See George, maybe you should be as kind as your mum.”

“I see you everyday, that’s almost too much for me.”

“Well, Ginny and Harry should be arriving tonight, Ron is already here, I think Hermione is supposed to be coming tonight too, but I’m not sure when, Bill and Fleur-”

Molly continued explaining the plan for the next couple of days, but I was distracted by George talking to his dad. Their voices were hushed, they kept side glancing at us as they spoke, before a shy smile emerged on George’s face. I somehow went back to Molly’s explanation, pretending that I had heard everything she said. Politely nodding, I was relieved that she started asking me about myself, changing the topic of conversation, even though my mind was occupied with someone else.

Everyone had arrived as the evening came, squeezing into the house and around the long table. As we sat down to eat, I noticed an empty chair besides George, realising who should have been there. My breath got caught in my throat at the sight, not hearing George call my name until he placed his hand on top of mine. 

“You OK?” he whispered.

“Um...” my head slowly turned to face him.“Yeah, sorry. I’m fine.”

“It’s strange, isn’t it? What I mean is, it’s weird to think he’s...he’s not here.”

I squeezed his hand, but before I could say anything, Arthur stood, preparing to make a speech. Keeping my hand in George’s, I listened just like everyone else, trying to push away the flashes of Fred filling my mind.

“Well, I know it’s a bit early to be celebrating Christmas, but we know that you all have your own plans for this year, now that you’re grown up. But it is important to ensure that we get together, especially during this season about love, giving gifts, drinking, eating, and spending time with family and friends, because...because you never know what the future holds. And I think...no, I know that the last year has taught us all that.”

People were either getting teary eyes, already crying, or had a solemn look on their faces. Glances towards the empty seat were common. I didn’t wince as George’s grip tightened, strongly pinching my skin. Keeping my head down, I suppressed any tears, taking in a deep breath as Arthur managed to carry on.

“I just want you all to know, that I love you, your mother and I love you. And for those extended family, (Y/N), Harry, Hermione, Fleur, Audrey, we love you just as much. You’re our family too. We need to make every moment count, make every moment special. So, with that being said, let’s have some fun tonight!”

We raised our glasses, clinking them all together before drinking. I took a big gulp, and then another as the chatter built up again. Once we were done with food and the conversations afterwards, we were going to start playing games, lifting up the atmosphere in the room. Before it started, I excused myself, not that anyone took much notice. Scurrying upstairs, I tried to slow down my breathing as I shut myself in my designated room, covering my mouth to silence my cries. I collapsed back onto the bed, head in my hands as I felt tears try to stream down my face. My shoulders shook as I forced myself to make no noise. The door opened, causing me to flinch back, even though it was George.

“(Y/N)? Why are you crying?” he panicked, immediately kneeling in front of me.

I shook my head that was back hiding in my hands.

“Hey, come on, you can talk to me. Did someone say something?”

I sniffled, looking away from him.“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be crying, it’s not fair.”

“What do you mean?”

“Just seeing Fred’s chair...without him in it, it was heartbreaking. And, and I know you and your family have to deal with that every day for the rest of your lives but...but I miss him so much George!”

“It’s alright. Hey, I’m here.” he moved to sit beside me, holding my close. 

“I’ve always wanted to make sure you were happy, and I knew that if I started crying like this then it would make things worse. He was your twin brother. What right do I have to be like this?”

“Listen to yourself,” he softly said, gently pushing me away so that I would look him in the eyes,“you’ve never mourned properly. You heard my dad downstairs, you’re family. Fred loved you, you loved him, we were the best of friends us three! The fact that you’ve not let out all of this makes me worried. It’s not healthy.”

“I know, I just couldn’t stand to see you upset anymore. I wanted to make you happy.”

“You do make me happy (Y/N). You make me extremely happy by just being with me, by just being you. You’re right, all those times I saw your smile, I smiled. Making you laugh is one of the best things in the world, and the fact that I can see you everyday, well, I couldn’t ask for anything more. I just wished that you had been able to talk to me about this, you know I’m always here for you.”

“I should have, I realised that now. But when you would start to let everything out to me, I couldn’t bring myself to say anything, I felt like I was adding to your trauma and making it about myself. And after relentless weeks of nightmares, nightmares that involved you dying alongside Fred, it would all disappear from my mind once I saw you.”

His hand pushed away the hair stuck to my wet face, sadly smiling.“I understand. Promise me that you’ll tell me about these sort of things?”

I nodded.“I promise. I’m sorry that I didn’t speak to you sooner.”

“Don’t apologise. You have nothing to apologise for.”

Strangely, we both leaned in towards each other, quickly kissing. We didn’t pull away a lot, kissing once again, though this one was firmer and more confident. It wasn’t leading to anything, it was something we both wanted but knew tonight wasn’t the right time to go too deep into this. After a few seconds apart, I couldn’t help it, I had to kiss him again.

“My dad asked about us earlier. After hearing that we bought presents together and stayed with each other, he was wondering if something had finally happened.”

“Glad he’s not the only one wanting something to happen between us.”

“We’ll definitely talk about this tomorrow. But just so you know, I enjoyed that.” George said.

“I did too.” I mumbled, suddenly becoming shy.“And thank you for always being there George. I will get better at expressing my feelings in the moment.”

“I just hope you know that it doesn’t matter how you’re feeling; happy, sad, excited, annoyed, you can tell me anything. And also, if Fred was here, he would have certainly burst in and ruined the moment.”

I giggled.“You’re not wrong there. Perhaps he’s watching down on us know, wishing he could have put some sort of plan into action to embarrass us.”

“I bet he is. But I know he would have also been happy.”

“And we’ll be happy too. We are happy.”

“Yes, now that I’ve got you, I’m going to cherish every moment, just as dad said to.”

I hugged him close.“Don’t ever leave me George.”

“I won’t, not ever.”

[bodycountgame]

can we get a few funky facts about each of the ROs' familial backgrounds? <3 loving the game idea!

Idk what makes a fact funky, so I’m just gonna throw down the 💃 emoji at regular intervals to be safe. 

Adegoke

Adegoke’s family are really religious, so although he’s an only child he was really involved with the church growing up. His life has always been full of cousins and friends and he’s never really felt lonely. 💃

Arthur

Arthur has an older sister and brother (Emmeline and Angus) and a younger brother (Alastair), but he isn’t particularly close with any of them. He doesn’t get along well with his parents, either – Arthur’s family have a high bar for success, and he has never felt like he’ll be able to meet it. 💃

Atticus

Atticus is an only child and he was raised by his mum. She worked a couple of different jobs to get by when he was young, and she has quite a stern manner; she was never afraid to give him a clip round the ear if he was acting up. He credits any and all good qualities he’s ended up with to his mum. 💃

Avery

Avery is an only child and her parents are both academics, which fostered a love of learning in her from a young age. She would tag along with them to conferences and hang out in the university library when they were working late. Whenever they come to visit her, they always have to find a pub quiz to do together – it’s become a bit of a tradition at this point. 💃

Charlie

Charlie moved to the UK to study when he was 19 and he hasn’t really been back much since then – plane tickets are expensive, and his family definitely aren’t wealthy. His mum died quite suddenly last year and he didn’t make it back in time to say goodbye to her, which is a regret that really weighs on him. 💃

Ellis

Ellis was removed from their parents’ care when they were a child, and they were raised by their paternal grandparents. They try to go back to Wales to visit them as often as they can and they worry a lot about how they’ll take care of their Mamgu and Tadcu as they get older. 💃

Florrie

Florrie has an older brother (Archer, although she calls him Archie). They never got along when they were kids, but now they’ve both grown up they’re much closer (and especially since he became a parent, which really mellowed him out). She was the first person in her family to go to university and her parents are so proud of her and they tell all their friends how smart and brilliant she is.  💃

Griff

Of all of the characters, Griff is probably the one that’s closest with his family. He has four older sisters (Eve, Amelia, Isla, & Phoebe) who have all gotten married and had kids and he loves being an uncle. Any family function is just the adults all hanging out and adulting and Griff on the bouncy castle with an army of small children. 💃

Imogen

Imogen had a pretty rough childhood. She moved out when she was 16 and doesn’t plan on ever going back. She’s still looking for a found family that she fill the family-sized hole in her life. 💃

Nyra

Nyra has so many people that she calls auntie and uncle that it’s hard to keep track of who she’s actually related to – after a while she just stopped asking. She has a younger sister (Niyati) who is basically her exact opposite and they have always bickered. 💃

Rowan

Rowan has two younger brothers (Oliver/Oli and Malcolm/Mal) and she was raised by her mum after her dad died when she was 5. It was pretty rough, and she had to take a lot more responsibility than would be expected of most kids. Her family group chat is always full of her and her brothers sending dumb memes back and forth. 💃

Syd

Syd’s family is big and chaotic and loud; Christmas in the Alexander household is a laugh riot. They have a younger brother (Will) who they try to keep in touch with, but they travel a lot for work, so they don’t see their family a tonne. 💃

Vinh

Vinh’s parents are first generation immigrants from Vietnam and they all used to all travel back to visit Vinh’s extended family in Vietnam every other year in summer. They have quite a strained relationship with their parents and they don’t like to talk about it. 💃

[seriouslysam8]

My personal thoughts (not that you asked for them)

1) I think Ron was the most important/favorite person in harry’s life until he was about 20, then I think that person changed to ginny. They got married, they spend their nights together, their mornings, their evenings, they made kids together, I could go on. Him and Ginny have a very close bond as best friends (as we saw in effloresce) that isn’t quite like him and ron’s, but is close. But he has bonds with ginny he doesn’t have with ron. They have a very passionate sexual bond with one another. They adopted Teddy together. They raided kids together. They have their nightly talks together. They are the other half of each other’s soul. I think Ron is Harry’s favorite person not including Ginny, because I think, from all of what we’ve seen, it’s not possible for Harry to love anyone more than ginny. She is his actual soulmate. The bromance between Ron and Harry is unstoppable and they need each other, but Ginny is Harry’s other half. 2) In addition to that, you have stated that you don’t think harry can physically live without ron or ginny. I don’t think you give him enough credit. Yes, he was abused. Yes, Ginny and the Weasleys saved him. Yes, he still struggles. But Harry is a person without them, even if HE doesn’t think so. I think we read/you write harry’s thought process and start to agree with him: he is nothing and worthless without ginny. He can’t live without them. But the whole point is that everyone else knows harry is stronger than he thinks. If Ginny or Ron died, he would be crushed. He would be severely depressed for the rest of his life. He would never be the same or be truly happy again. But saying he would kill himself or die of depression takes away from what Harry’s strength is all about. It discredits him as a character and person and everything he’s been through. He has kids. He has grandkids. He has family. Harry loses people all the time, but he knows there’s a bigger picture. Yes, I know Ginny would be much worse than Sirius or Remus, but he is still a human being without Ginny. I know everyone wants to say he’s nothing without her, but that’s not fair of you to say that. Thats you taking on his abusive thinking. That’s the opposite of what we’ve learned about harry. Harry was a person before her. He has been through more than anyone else, but he’s also stronger than anyone else. He is something without them. He’s Harry. He fights for people. He stands up for what is right. He keeps the people he loves safe. If he lost Ginny, he would lose a part of himself, but he would keep going. He has kids to keep safe. He has grandkids to be safe. He has a family to keep safe. He would go on. That’s. What. Harry. James. Potter. Does. It’s his whole character!!! It’s also what he knows ginny would want him to do. She would want him to take care of their kids and grandkids. And Ron would want him to take care of ginny and make his sister happy, along with make sure his own kids and grandkids are looked after. To say he would just die immediately without considering his kids or duties would be a betrayal of his character. He would go on. He fights. Ginny is his soulmate, Ron is his best mate, and without them he is not truly happy, but he is still harry fucking potter and he is strong. He’s not as broken as he thinks. He’s not as broken as his thoughts lead us to think. Give the man more credit! Ginny and Ron have taught him he is loved. He knows his kids love him. He knows molly and arthur love him. He knows his brothers and sisters in law love him. He knows his nieces and nephews love him. If he lost one or both of his two favorite people, he would know he is still loved, even if it took him a while to get there and had to be physically slapped in the face by someone. Not to mention if he only lost one - if he lost Ron, he would still have his ginny. She would help him get through it. If he lost his Ginny, he would still have Ron, he would help him get through it. But unless he lost his entire family, he would keep going. He would live for even just one of his kids. Harry gets through things. That’s who he is

I think Harry could survive without Ron. I think Ginny could carry him through it. But I think it would be a very dark and depressive time in his life.

I legit think Harry would die of a broken heart if Ginny died. If anyone could die of broken heart syndrome, it would be Harry. I can’t even imagine Ginny dying first. Nope. My headcanon is that it’s Harry.

But we can agree to disagree on some points.

[zalrb]

I know we as the audience can see the devotion and love Merlin and Arthur have for each other, but do you honestly think everyone else knew it to the extent we do like Gwen and the knights? Sure they knew they cared, but merlin and Arthur go beyond just caring.

I absolutely do. In fact, Merlin and Arthur’s mutual devotion and affection for each other is the driving force of A Servant of Two Masters because Morgana uses it as a weapon:

She even says that she won’t kill Merlin because that would be too easy and what exactly is worse than death for Merlin? Having him, of all people, be the one to murder Arthur and what’s more is that she says everything that makes him Merlin will be gone, which means she knows that his devotion to Arthur is a fundamental aspect of who he is as a person

On the flipside of that, Gwen sees Arthur become so agitated without Merlin

that she chases after him out of palace when he’s on his way to find Merlin again and sees just how indignant he is at even the possibility of not finding him

Furthermore, she already voiced Merlin’s affection for Arthur before Merlin could even vocalize it

Much like how Merlin’s mother vocalizes Arthur’s feelings for Merlin basically responding to Merlin’s constant “it’s not like that” with, bitch, are you dumb?

I’ve spoken about the importance of this scene in 3x08 before but to rehash, I find it telling

because Gwaine looks at Arthur indignant and exasperated at his lack of thank you and he looks to Merlin to share in his exasperation but all he sees is that goofy grin on Merlin’s face and, I know the quality is terrible so sorry about that, but Merlin really has this affectionate, soft, warm grin at Arthur even when he’s not being particularly gracious, Gwaine sees that and then smiles to himself because he can see how much Merlin loves Arthur.

Uther consistently tells Arthur that he too intense an attachment to Merlin

to the point, as I also mentioned before, that I actually found this scene really telling

because it’s clearly a personal/intimate moment between Merlin and Arthur? Like if it was just Arthur berating his servant then he wouldn’t feel embarrassed in front of Uther because that’s what princes to do to servants but it was clearly him having fun with Merlin, blurring lines with Merlin so he’s like ………………

The knights absolutely saw these reactions in their 4x02 reunion

Because peripheral vision! And I headcanon that they want to give Arthur the courtesy of pretending not to see just how much he cares for Merlin

and I mean...

I MEAN ....

Gaius knows why Merlin is muttering Arthur’s name (or has some idea) but Gwen doesn’t

and speaking of Gaius, he had to have seen throughout the seasons that Merlin saw Arthur as way more than a charge. Next to seeing the emotional toll that Arthur potentially dying had on Merlin

he confided in Gaius just how much Arthur not knowing that he has magic hurt him, not because he wanted credit, but because he wanted his full heart

and even when he complains about Arthur only seeing him as an idiot, I believe it’s clear that he wants the respect of a man he himself respects and it hurts him that he sometimes thinks he doesn’t have that respect.

Arthur leaves his men to sit next to Merlin and talk to him

I mean, even when everyone talks about how much they complain each other, it’s as if all they do is talk about how much they can’t stand each other and they bicker with each other around the others all the time like a screwball romantic comedy

but then they’re consistently risking their lives for one another and they’re always around each other --- there are other servants in the palace and it’s been proven that Arthur can replace Merlin and it’s also been proven that Merlin can leave, neither do.

Plus, the Round Table

The two people next to Arthur are Gwen and Merlin and let’s think about that, let’s think about how on one side, there’s Gwen, the woman that Arthur loves, his future wife, the future Queen of Camelot, which is pretty much proven with this scene at this point, and on the other side is Merlin, how respected and loved and important and significant to Arthur must Merlin be to be seated next to him?

Everyone ABSOLUTELY knew.

[fangirlings-things]

Not a nun

Fandom: Peaky Blinders

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x daughter!reader

Word count: 1.3K

Warnings: language, alcohol, smoking, mentions of sex

Summary: Tommy finds out his daughter had sex and confronts her about it

• anon said: Can I request a overprotective Tommy Shelby finding out his daughters had sex? Think you’d be soooo good at writing this with your style 🎉

A/N: I really hope you like this piece, love, I enjoyed writing it very much and tried to put as much as I could of Tommy's personality in it. thank you for your kind words, I hope you have a lovely day 💕

tag list: @sophieshelby ; @charmingvalkyrie ; @inglourious-imagines

gif is not mine

“Did you ask to see me?” you entered your father’s office with a frown and light steps. You had been just about to go out with your uncle John to The Garrison, when Lizzie had come to up to you and said your father wanted to speak to you in private. The look on her face made it pretty clear that he wanted to see you now, not later.

Your father was sitting at his comfortable, black chair with a cigar between the fingers of his right hand. He took a smoke while looking at you standing at the door of his office. A deep, smoke. The expression on his face, you knew that one. It meant he was giving something specific a great amount of thought. Apparently, it had to do with you. He released the smoke from his lungs and pointed the empty chair across from him on his table with the cigar. “Sit down, (Y/N)”

You frowned even deeper at that. Closing the door behind you, you walked towards the seat and took it, leaning back on it quite comfortably. Sighting, you crossed your legs and rested your arms on the chair's arms. “Well?”

Your father took another smoke, and you patiently waited as he did so. Once he got the smoke out again, his bright eyes were fixed in yours with much intensity. “You went out last night”

“Yes, like I usually do” you said without hesitation, looking on his features for whatever was the reason that had made you go there in that moment. Unlike most of the time, you couldn’t quite read his expression.

“You want me to tell you what was different about last night myself or are you going to do it?” the question was incisive, went to the point just like he usually did. Thomas Shelby was your father, after all. You were used to that behavior since you were just a kid.

The motive of that sudden reunion quickly became clear for the way his expression was emotionless and the look in his eyes seemed so profound. He knew. It wasn’t like you weren’t expecting him to find out, of course he would. He did find out things about his enemies, how could he not know about his daughter’s moves? And yet, you had seriously thought it would take a little more time than just one day for that to happen.

“I had sex last night” you said, sighting. No point in denying the truth, your family had always thought you that.

“Yes, you did” your father replied and his tone was stern, calm. His mind was working fast and hard though, you knew it was. The took another smoke. The deepest of all until that moment.

You squeezed your lips in a thin line, sighting again. “Got another one of those?” you nodded your head in the direction of his cigar. The got a pack out of the pocket of his black coat and handed it you. You got one out, gave the pack back to your father and as he placed it back where it was before, you trapped the cigar between your lips and lit it up. You took a smoke, then lowered your arm back to the chair’s arm. You passed your free hand through your hair. “Who was the one who followed me?”

“Billy Kitchen” Thomas told you, fixing his coat back in place perfectly. You gave out a small smile at that. No matter how fucked up the situation could be, your father would always be well dressed and his appearance straight. A weird habit yet, curious.

“Billy?” you said surprisingly, raising your eyebrows. “I thought he was caught up working for Alfie Solomons in Camden Town, looking over our interests”

“I pulled him out for a few days and placed another one of our man in charge. He needed some rest” your father explained, pausing for another smoke. This one was short, casual only. He licked his lips in an anxious manner before continuing. “So I put him on you, you're usually easy to track. He’s been following you for the past week”

“Bold move, I liked it” you smiled and took another smoke of your own cigar. You got the smoke out of your lungs slowly, thinking about your next words. “Did Billy tell you who I was with?”

“No, I didn’t ask. He just said you had sex” Thomas leaned his head on the chair, eyes going to the roof over your heads.

“Do you want me to tell you?” you asked, taking another smoke. This time, you got it out in a french inhale. You sighted in appreciation at that. “The name, if it was with a guy or a girl? Maybe both?”

Your father gave you an incisive look that made you chuckle and raise your hands in the air, shutting up. He then leaned his head back again and sighted. “That’s your business, (Y/N). Not mine. I’ve always been very aware of the fact that you weren’t going to be a nun” he took the cigar to his lips and smoked again, the expression on his face almost making you chuckle. “I just need you to be careful with whom you decide to lay with. You’re a Shelby, we have enemies everywhere” he straitened his position and locked his gaze on yours. “People may try to get to me through you, and I can’t have that”

“I am very aware of that” you said, moving the hand you held your cigar with as you spoke. “and that is why I asked uncle Arthur to do a full background check on the person I decided to lay with”

That surprised Thomas. He narrowed his eyes and frowned in your direction. You enjoyed that moment of victory. People rarely surprised your father in any situations. “You planned your first time for days before actually having the sex?”

You took another smoke, a wide smile on your face. “Precisely” you pointed to your father with your cigar. “Flirted with the person, saw if I really liked them and then asked Arthur a little favor. He didn’t tell you, I knew he wouldn’t. That’s why I love uncle Arthur so much”

Your father make a sound that almost sound like a chuckle before pulling his cigar out in an ashtray and getting up. “That was a smart move” he went towards the little bar he had on the corner of the room as he said so. “Whiskey?”

“I’ll have that” you said, and watched as he poured the drink into two glasses. He came over and handed you one of those. “Thank you” you took a sip as your father walked around the table and sat again on his chair. “So, as you can see I am very careful when regarding the people I fuck with. Does this give me some credit?”

“Don’t say 'people I fuck with'. Just don’t” Thomas had an expression on his came that came close to disgust. You repressed a laugh by taking another sip of your whiskey. “And yes, it does give you some credit”

“So can I ask some things here?” you raised your eyebrows at him, smiling as you also put your cigar out in the ashtray. Leaning back in your chair, you saw him nod in agreement. “Very well, first of all, I want Billy Kitchen to stop tracking my every step. A girl needs her privacy”

“I suppose that’s fair enough” your father took a long sip of his own drink, sighting heavily as he usually did when he recognized he had to do something that he did not entirely want.

“And second, I want to go to the next horse race” Thomas opened his mouth like he was about to deny that, but you cut him by quickly continuing to speak. “You can let me come with you, or I can ask uncle Arthur to take me instead. And you know he’ll be a pain in your ass for days until you finally agree to it if I do”

Your father really chuckled this time. “I have really raised you in my image, haven’t I?”

You smiled and lifted your glass in his direction. “The best image there is, father”

He softly touched your glass with his. “Cheers to that” he said and then, you both drank together.

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 139

Day Two of the Food Festival!  This one has a specific request from @baelpenrose, which was fun to play with in the Low-Stim session (always on day 2).

To everyone who has reached out to tell me how much they are enjoying getting to see Sophia actually relax and just have fun for once.... Y’all are the best! It’s been fun writing it, too. 

New reader shout outs go to @corvallis, @penguin--person, @amphibiousuprising, @chip5-0, and I think @lostsoul8822. I think that’s everyone... If I missed you, please DM me, and I’ll add you to the next chapter.

On with the show!

The first day of the Festival, Conor and I ended up staying through not only Maverick’s shift but the one after, just so we could drag him to our favorite spots. Day two, however, Conor was on deck as Support Personnel as well as Maverick, and neither were assigned to me - for the first half of day two, we were in the Low Stim Mode, so I was pretty sure I could brave it on my own with everyone else’s proximity alerts and my own personal hyper-alertness preventing accidental bumps.

For me, the most exciting part was the different foods offered, and the fact that I could focus on just the food. Not having to ignore the other stimuli was a completely relaxing experience. The visual of the mural, with everything present, was still completely different in the even, indirect lighting. The dual nature of it was toned down significantly, leading to the overall feel being softer and overall more pleasant without being distracting.

Halfway through a very good pad thai, I spotted Derek and Sam sitting with Ivan and poking at something that Sam was clearly excited about and Derek was equally doubtful of. I circled around so they could see me approaching, and made a point to wave. “What do you think?” I asked, trying to sign as I spoke but hampered by the food in my hands.

“It was a good try,” Derek confessed, cheeks stuffed with something that had previously been on a plate to his left as a backup plan.

Setting my food down, I grinned mischievously. “Doing my best,” I signed, leading to laughter on all sides.

“You just told him you do him the best,” Ivan murmured, my face immediately flooding red.

“That is NOT what I meant,” I tried to explain out loud, over-enunciating while I clenched my hands in embarrassment.

To his credit, Derek signed what he seemed to understand I meant, emphasizing each sign. It was clear that I had gotten several out of order and added one that changed everything overall.

After repeating the signs and getting confirmation, I shook my head and sighed dramatically. “I tried.”

Ivan was trembling with laughter. “You. You did,” he admitted. “But that was… wow.” His head dropped on his hands as he shook silently.

“Souffle pancakes?” I offered, finger spelling the word souffle since I had no freaking clue how to actually sign it.

“Egg pancake,” Derek explained, poking the one I offered and contemplating the jiggle.

“It’s cinnamon sugar, and not gooey,” I explained.

Apparently I got that one right, because Derek immediately stabbed a piece and shoved it in his mouth.  The only judgement I needed was the fact that he dragged the entire remaining pancake onto his plate.

Sam watched his roommate before contemplating his own sample. Before he could even ask, I held up a cup full of macerated berries. “And fruit topping for you, sir.”

“Are those my berries?” he asked, skeptical.

I shook my head. “Bog standard, from the consoles. Your vegetables and fruits are being used in the other shifts. We didn’t want to give anyone here unexpected tastes.”

He nodded and dumped the entire cup of fruit over his pancake, digging in happily.

Ivan batted his eyes at me until I explained. “Sam’s produce has… unexpected pairings. Tomatoes that pair with cheesecake and wines, strawberries that really go well with steak…”

“The mango that goes with beer but not fish?”

“Yeah, that one. Von soil does strange things to produce, turns out.”

“Those matcha-edamame are amazing though.”

“For ice cream, yes. For tea, less so. They’re like… cooking matcha, almost.” I laughed. They actually worked better for ice cream than matcha did, oddly - reducing the sugar content but still giving the same flavor.

“One vendor on the last day is using nothing but my produce,” Sam announced happily. “They asked my permission.”

“That’s good!” I encouraged him. “They should always ask your permission to do things like that.”

“People ask with requisition forms,” he agreed. “Mona asked in person.”

Note to self: much more patronage at Mona’s normal spot, I swore in my head.  She specialized in vegetarian dishes, and honestly made some of the best fried cabbage I’d had in my life.  Knowing that she was so considerate of Sam cemented her as my new favorite takeaway place.

After a little more chat, I finally waved my goodbyes to everyone and strolled slowly to the next tempting stall. I wasn’t really in any hurry, and did more people-watching than I did eating. Latkes were infinitely more interesting when I could overhear people arguing over family recipes.  A small bowl of udon was delicious, but not nearly as flavorful as the discussion around hot versus cold, what to top them with, egg or no egg… the only thing anyone seemed to agree on was that the smiling vendor ‘obviously’ ground their own flour, because the flour provided by the consoles was the wrong texture.

Another mental note: don’t learn to make udon.  Despite what I had previously believed, it takes a lifetime to make it right, turns out.

Wandering further down, I was delighted by the discovery of something that was very clearly Hannah’s doing: demonstrations of older food prep techniques.  Simon winked at me as he carried on a demonstration of - insanely - how to hand pull toffee. I didn’t know he could do that. Muna was demonstrating the correct way to make chapatis and handing them out as fast as she was making them. Clearly, she had been making them her whole life, because at no point did I actually see her look at them, but every single one was perfect.

Laughter erupted over my shoulder, and I whipped my head around to see the source. After wading through a crowd of smiling faces, I couldn’t help but join in.  There, right in front of the entire Ark, was Maverick trying to flip takoyaki as fast as the person demonstrating, and ending up with just a mess of octopus and batter on his side.  Both Maverick and the person guiding him were smiling, though, and in the end, the vendor handed Maverick four perfectly-round balls and quickly devoured all of the - less shapely, so to speak - ones on my partner’s side.  With an exuberant cheer and extending his arms wide to the crowd, the man exclaimed “The first takoyaki of a new student are always my favorite! Nothing tastes better!”

After bowing to his sensei, Maverick turned and spotted me, face still flushed with laughter.  He offered his food to a smaller man I did not recognize, who must have been the person Maverick was Supporting, before waving to me and continuing on.  Despite the urge to crush him in a hug, I forced my feet to stay in place and reminded myself that he was working.

By the time I trusted myself not to race after him, I realized someone had been trying to get my attention and had resorted to messaging me rather than shouting. “Phee, I don’t know what la-la land you are lost in, but look 100 yards to your four.”

The hell was Arthur doing here? He wasn’t scheduled to work this shift, as far as I was aware.  Craning my neck over my shoulder, I turned to see… Apparently a hallucination. It had to be.  There was no chance in any of the nine hells that Arthur Farro was dishing out spaghetti, much less smiling while doing it.

Almost dreamlike, I found myself drifting over to confirm that I was wrong, only to be startled when he shoved a plate with not only spaghetti but two gorgeous pieces of garlic bread under my nose. “Special plates, you can’t smell anything unless it’s on purpose.”

“You… Spaghetti?” I asked, eloquent as ever.

“Family recipe.”

“Leaning into the stereotype a bit, aren’t you?” I asked carefully before shoving as much of one thick, crusty piece of toast in my mouth as I could.

He shook his head. “Anyone who tells you their family is Italian and denies having a family recipe for anything is a damned liar.”

Skeptically, I took a bite. It was amazing. “Ah ee deh rehahee,” I tried to get out around the heap of pasta I was steadily shoving in my mouth.

“Maverick is a very bad influence on your table manners,” he observed drily, plating more portions and handing them out. “And no. Not happening.”

“You know I can cook.”

“Not the point. I also know that you will fiddle with it until it is unrecognizable, so there’s really no point in giving it to you.”

Defiantly, I took a smaller bite and chewed carefully. “Garlic, onions, obviously. Sausage and minced… Lamb? But that’s probably just for this session, knowing you it’s spicy sausage regularly.  I’m not getting carrot, though, so no soffritto? Unexpected…. Is that thyme, I’m tasting?”

“Rosemary, you heathen. And you’re still wrong.”

I mumbled to myself. “What did I get wrong? It’s gotta be the lamb… maybe he does usually use the lamb? I’m certain it is lamb…”

“It is lamb, and no, I don’t usually use it. But you left several things out.”

I stared at the plate again, confused. “I didn’t think I needed to mention the tomatoes….”

“Basil… oregano….” he drawled.

“Duhhh?” I poked through the last bite on my plate, sniffing it, trying to figure out what I was missing. “Fine, you win, I’m lost.”

“Mushrooms, Sophia. There’s mushrooms. Jeezus. It was an easy one, too.”  He showed me a bowl full of what looked like cooked and crumbled sausage, only for me to realize it was the tiniest diced mushrooms I had ever seen in my life.

“I am dying to know how you got them that small.”

“With a knife?” He arched an eyebrow at me as he turned to start another batch of sauce.

“Yeah, no shit, Arthur.”

“Correct, there is no shit in the spaghetti,” he confirmed cheekily as the vegetables started sizzling.

“Asshole,” I laughed, scraping the remaining sauce from my plate with the piece of bread I saved just for that purpose. Just as I was frowning at the sauce-less plate and remaining half-piece of bread, a scalding hot dollop of fresh sauce invaded my vision.

“You love me, because I won’t let you frown at your bread like that.”

Fiiiinnnne I sighed in my head as I shoved a piece of saucy, saucy bread into my cheeks and waggled my fingers to let him get back to work.

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[monkey-network]

Why Klaus IS Christmas Kino

Klaus isn’t flawless, let’s get this out the way. My love for this film won’t deny that it bears a couple nits that can distract the experience. Jesper and Alva’s relationship felt like an eye-rolling inevitability, notable cliches here & there, a notable song felt both fitting and out of place, and while enjoyable, I’m not as big a fan of the climax as I thought. But in spite of it all, I love this film and it is one of the best modern animated Christmas films, period? Follow me here. I could go on about its wonderful animation cuz yeah, it’s unlike any other film. But a philosophy of mine is that the best animation enhances the writing and I can say Klaus is that surprisingly well written and has become an all time Christmas fave

*deep breath in* So let’s do this...

I mention that Klaus has its cliches, but you gotta know that it’s smarter than expected. Believe me when I say if the writers didn’t care, this could’ve actually been so much worse. Jesper could’ve been more manipulative towards everyone for his goals, Klaus would’ve given up entirely after knowing the truth about Jesper, we could’ve had an argument between Jesper and his dad about upholding business, the townsfolk could’ve reverted back to their old ways, plenty writing moments where this could’ve been Emoji Movie levels of insulting to your intellect. BUT, they don’t. The film never really turns back on itself, it keeps moving where, as the notable quote goes, an act of good will sparks another as it starts with Jesper’s father.

Even if nepotism was responsible for Jesper getting the job in the first place, he clearly sees his son be more spoiled than he’s worth so is like, “Ma boi, I will send you to the ends of the earth or leave you to the streets if you don’t do something with yourself.” He never cared about his son representing the postal company, or ruining his top class image, he was only tired of Jesper taking advantage of his fortune while not having any ambition of his own. Can’t help but say Jesper’s dad is a very respectable character because the sole reason the whole plot happened in the first place was because he just wanted his son to do better. It’s that act of genuine consideration that pushes Jesper to his wake up call as he reaches Smeerensburg.

People have compared this movie to Emperor’s New Groove through Jesper’s character and I say yes, but this film takes that next step and put Jesper in the pit of pits way early. Reminds me more of Ratatouille’s beginning where Remy’s lowest point is around the same time as Jesper’s. The harsh atmosphere of the island is treated very blunt in how this is our mailman’s nightmare come true. With his situation, our guy is truly at his lowest. Gives up now, he’ll be cut off his inheritance and probably will have worse. Everyone hates him and each other, his post office itself is in shambles, symbolic of how communication is practically thin outside conflict, and the teacher turned fish seller Alva is that path Jesper could notably be if he didn’t try. Everything is literally grey for this guy, but like Ratatouille, when you’re at your lowest there’s no where else to go but up. That’s where Klaus comes in...

This is genuinely the most clever interpretation of Santa I know, hands down. A well established woodsman, a crafter both of living, for him and the birds that reside in his woods, and recreation with the toys he made himself not just for kids, but specifically the kids he and his wife wanted but couldn’t have. Klaus feels like a real person, not just another take on the mythical man. You’re with him and Jesper as he, after familiar winds provide him a letter, a small spark to do something good, soon opens up and gets reminded of what’s kept him going all these years. It is no wonder he sees his wife in Jesper, it’s thanks to him that he could refurbish his dashed dream into a new one. He didn’t just want to do it for the children of the island, but for himself. That is another thing about this film: communication. I mention before how it’s practically thin at first due to a long going feud that isn’t even aware of why it’s still going. The joy in hate is only for hatred’s sake, and they make it very clear how miserable it all feels. That is where Jesper comes in. They don’t take shortcuts with how he gets the ball rolling, both accidentally and purposefully, he boots up to get things done, pushes himself to go to Klaus to make things happen. This is all in part by the youth, what really ties the plot together...

As I mentioned before (again), life in Smeerensburg is noticeably miserable but thanks to Klaus, by extension Jesper, the kids are enticed to do what it takes to get some genuine joy in their lives through the toys they’re able to get. They’ll make them letters, and if they can’t write, they’ll go to Alva for teachings, and if they act naughty, they’ll try to do good which in turn pushes the adults to do good for the sake of their kids. It really would’ve been one thing to sure enough make the kids spoiled because of the toy giving, focusing more on the extrinsic value of Klaus’s kindness but no. The children are very grateful for these gifts enough to feel compelled to do good, and it makes them feel good as much as it soon makes the adults more convinced to stop fighting. It helps that this all takes place in older times cuz I believe this would’ve been far different, possibly worse, if this took place in modern times. That or just kinda rip off Arthur Christmas, it’s my guess. As such, it gradually becomes an amazing Christmas film because it isn’t just the presents, the Santa Claus myth, the festive style of it all that makes this holiday special to me. It’s the warmth... of togetherness.

My favorite detail about Klaus is how it transitions from cold to warm with its atmosphere. We start out with the emptiest, harshest environment, enough fog to choke your eyes, and then we get to this moment with a brighter, clearer sight of the more united town as the Christmas spirit builds in the film, even when it isn’t even that day yet in-universe, so too does the warmhearted feeling that can come from celebrating it appear more and more. This film fleshes out more of what the Grinch taught me, what A Charlie Brown Christmas taught me, what I’ve come to appreciate about Christmas as I grew up in this materialistic world. I can say everyday can have the Holiday spirit, but Christmas is the time where I feel compelled to be grateful of what I’ve made and got and give back when honestly, I don’t care about getting the most expensive stuff anymore like I used to when I was way younger. This film is so sincere in what it wants to say, and you know this is indeed the same guy that made Minions. Yeah, not kidding and I’ll let you sit with that if you’re reading this as I continue because we have to talk about that moment...

Yeah, I don’t like being the Nostalgia Critic, but I too don’t take kindly to the ‘liar reveal’ trope myself and this could’ve been a point where the film lost me a little. Though you know what? It still works. See, with that trope, what sucks is that it can tend to unravel the plot to where you know as soon as they break apart, they’ll get back together regardless of the deed done. This is why I don’t like A Bug’s Life, don’t @ me. But I’m not saying it can’t done right, like in Over the Hedge. The breakup between Jesper and the others is painful, but it is necessary to give us a couple great character moments. One is with Jesper and his dad, who came back personally to see that Jesper has indeed built something for himself. We get no dialogue between them but it’s clear that even when Jesper’s unintentionally successful thanks to Yzma and Bubba, he can tell his son wasn’t happy leaving everything behind, so he lets him stay since that was what he truly wanted this whole time. Again, give that man some credit for amazing dad. Another moment comes before the big reveal where not only do we see Jesper come to understand his own guilt surrounding his original intentions, but in the end they never hated him for coming back, especially due to him inadvertently stopping the enemy feud all together. Lastly, without that moment, we probably wouldn’t have got this smile. When Margu, purest character ever that I could make a whole segment about but I don’t wanna keep you too long, started to tear up after calling for Jesper thinking he left for good but she then sees our guy never really left and we get this teary smile:

I felt that. Almost more than anything else in this film.

Cliched as it can appear, the execution excels in those more memorable emotions for this film. It’s been a year since I watched this again and I remember so much about these characters. And my god, I haven’t even gotten to the animation which... my god.

Klaus is indeed the most beautiful upon beautiful films I’ve seen, and what makes it better is that it all enhances the story. I mention before of its transitional visual from cold to warm sights, but goddamn, the character designs, the environments, the expressiveness, the textures all amount to style perfect for this alone. I think it would’ve as well received if it had a more flat look, but they seriously went higher for a traditional appealing story that compliments the unique children’s storybook look of it all. This honestly is better than most of modern Disney films that I’ve seen, ironic since it feels like if you took Tangled the Series and made it 3D with more fluid character animation. And if I’m comparing something to the continuous mindblower that’s Tangled the Series, you’ve most certainly got on my best side.

Sergio Pablos and his team really pulled no punches in making this a great movie. A great Christmas movie, one worth seeing if not at least once but every Holiday season for tradition’s sake. Klaus gave me a good time, made me cry, and above all showed me to never stop having a good heart because doing good can indeed go far, thankless as it can be. Heck, my heart felt more rejuvenated than before in making this critique, that’s a testament to how much good this film means to me personally. What else is there to say?

It's The Best

[carewyncromwell]

“Uptown girl --  You know I can't afford to buy her pearls, But maybe someday when my ship comes in, She'll understand what kind of guy I've been, And then I'll win!”

~“Uptown Girl” by Billy Joel

x~x~x~x

Bill Weasley had always had trouble relating to kids his age. As the oldest of seven kids, he’d pretty quickly slipped into the role of support for his mother Molly, parenting and looking after his younger siblings while his father Arthur was at work in the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office. Even when he was little, there wasn’t really anyone his age in his tiny hometown of Ottery St. Catchpole. All of the other magical families with kids in the area were much younger than Bill, and it was always a tricky proposition trying to play with the Muggle children who lived closest to the Burrow, with the Statute of Secrecy looming large. So when Bill got to Hogwarts, he found himself almost inevitably falling back on how he acted around his younger siblings, even with kids his own age...which, in turn, made Bill lose his footing, when those kids his age didn’t respond well to being coddled or “looked after.” And given Bill’s rather modest, people-pleasing personality, he wasn’t the type to force anyone to listen to him or do what he said...and so, almost inevitably, he found himself at a loss about how to interact with someone without looking after them in some way, on completely equal footing. And thus Bill Weasley, sweet and amiable as he was, actually found himself largely alone in those first two years he spent at Hogwarts -- and that solitude was something he found out pretty quickly he really didn’t like. 

Bill was relieved when his younger brother Charlie started his first year at Hogwarts. Although Bill had trouble admitting to his family just how unhappy he’d been those last two years, the eldest Weasley was secretly relieved that he’d now have some family at school too. He had always been closest to Charlie out of all of his siblings, given their closeness in age, so it was comforting to know he’d at least have one friend to spend time with, when he wasn’t in class. Charlie’s year, however, also included a ginger-haired Slytherin girl called Cromwell -- the same surname as the infamous “delinquent” Jacob Cromwell, who’d been expelled from Hogwarts and disappeared mysteriously a few years ago. 

Bill first heard about Jacob Cromwell’s sister Carewyn through Charlie, who’d heard that she’d stood up to another Slytherin in their year, Merula Snyde, for bullying Charlie’s timid dormmate Ben Copper and even defeated her in a duel with a Disarming Charm, a spell not taught until at least Bill’s year. Despite himself, Bill actually felt a bit relieved -- he hadn’t known Jacob Cromwell at all, but he figured it had to have been really difficult, for someone to lose their only sibling. Even if he didn’t know Carewyn Cromwell at all, he couldn’t help but feel sorry for her...but at least if she was still confident enough to stand up for herself and others, then it probably meant she was doing okay, even with what had happened to her and her family. And his analysis seemed to be confirmed when Carewyn sought Bill out to get his help the following year with breaking the curse on the Ice Vault. From the moment they first met, Bill made up his mind -- Carewyn Cromwell needed someone to look after her, so he would, until she found her brother again. And so Bill and Carewyn became friends. 

In Bill’s fifth year, he was named Gryffindor Prefect. It was a rather obvious choice for Minerva McGonagall, considering Bill’s predisposition to “look after” and mentor younger students, but it still filled Arthur and Molly Weasley with immense pride. It was also the first year that Bill and Charlie invited Carewyn home for the holidays, upon hearing that her mother Lane had been commissioned by the Ministry of Magic for an international assignment and wouldn’t be able to be home in time for Christmas. When he heard Merula Snyde also wouldn’t have anyone to spend the holidays with, Bill made the remarkably kind move to invite her to the Burrow as well, even with Charlie and Carewyn’s misgivings -- but that holiday ended up being one of the best all four of them had ever had. Merula and Carewyn were even able to mend fences enough to sing Christmas carols together, the first’s clear Soprano voice hovering ethereally over the second’s warm, emotional Alto harmonies. That Christmas was also the year Carewyn gave Bill his very first record -- an album called An Innocent Man, by an Muggle artist named Billy Joel. Arthur Weasley was almost more thrilled by the gift than his son was, and he immediately brought out the Muggle record player he’d...”been allowed to take home” from work so Carewyn could show the Weasleys how to play the record on it. And for the rest of the winter break, it wasn’t uncommon for one of the Weasleys to put the record on in the background while doing dishes or playing a game of Wizard’s Chess in front of the fire. The song from the record Bill found himself humming the most, even after returning to Hogwarts, was the first song on side two of the record. He’d liked the tune immediately just because it was fun...but it also reminded him of a girl in his year he’d been trying to muster up the courage to talk to -- a very pretty and daring Gryffindor named Emily Tyler. 

“And when she's walking, she's looking so fine, And when she's talking, she'll say that she's mine... She'll say I'm not so tough, Just because I'm in love with an uptown girl!”

Emily Tyler was the most popular girl in Bill’s year, as well as one of the most popular in Gryffindor house overall. She’d made a name for herself at the Dueling Club, where she remained Gryffindor’s main champion -- it was likely only thanks to Hufflepuff’s own dueling prodigy, Diego Caplan, that Emily had any competition at all. She also was top of her class in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Bill’s favorite and best subject, even managing to Stun an entire flock of bats with one spell. And coupled with that talent was a lot of style, confidence, and ability to captivate and charm others. She never seemed uncomfortable in a crowd and never seemed to be at a loss for words around her peers -- something Bill himself still struggled with. She’d even expressed some interest in Cursebreaking post-Hogwarts, gushing about the acclaim and glamour of the profession. In short, in Bill’s eyes, Emily just seemed amazing -- a bit out of his league, sure...but maybe if he was brave and put himself out there, she might give him a chance!

So one day, right around spring break, Bill passed Emily a note in Defense Against the Dark Arts, asking her to meet him in the castle courtyard. The eldest Weasley was kind of an emotional wreck on the inside, absolutely beside himself with nerves, but he put on his bravest face anyway. He’d even brought a pink rose, which he tried to keep out of sight in his back pocket until Emily arrived. It was the flower that caught Carewyn’s eye, when she was passing through the castle courtyard. 

The third-year Slytherin had been planning on meeting up with Ben and Rowan in the library so they could study up for an upcoming Charms test, but she put that on hold, seeing her friend Bill sitting alone in the courtyard, as if waiting for someone. Normally she would've gone over to say hello, but the pink rose in Bill’s pocket made her give pause -- a fortunate thing too, for not long later, Bill shot to his feet as Emily Tyler entered the courtyard. She was dressed head-to-toe in bright pink, with her dark hair tied up in a high ponytail and her makeup impeccably neat. She wasn’t alone -- several other boys and girls were with her, all talking to her animatedly. They reluctantly waited for her at the edge of the courtyard, their eyes locked on her as she approached Bill. The scrutiny from Emily’s cohorts clearly intimidated Bill, but he didn’t let it rattle him. He faced his crush with the best smile he could.  

“Hi, Emily,” he greeted. “Thanks for coming -- I know you’re pretty busy with the Dueling Club...”

“I am,” assented Emily. Her voice was matter-of-fact. 

Bill gave a weak, uncomfortable laugh. “Well, uh...I won’t take up too much of your time, then. I just wanted to...er...”

He took the pink rose out of his back pocket and offered it to her. Emily blinked down at it in surprise. 

“I wanted to...give this to you,” said Bill with a modest smile. “Pink is your favorite color, I’ve heard. Not that I’ve been eavesdropping on you or anything,” he said very quickly, “I just heard you tell one of your friends that once, last month, and...”

Carewyn felt very uncomfortable, listening to this. Deciding at once that the whole thing really wasn’t her business and that Bill deserved his privacy, she turned to go. She probably would’ve walked away, were it not for how disdainful Emily's voice sounded, when she spoke.

“Is this...some sort of confession?”

Carewyn immediately stopped and turned back around. Emily was looking from her friends on the sidelines to Bill, her face twisted in a very critical, flabbergasted sort of look. 

Bill, to his credit, somehow managed to keep a weak smile on, even as her brought up a hand to rub behind his neck uncomfortably. 

“Well, uh...yes! I guess so. I...was sort of hoping we might be able to hang out sometime...maybe get some butterbeers in Hogsmeade or something -- ”

Emily’s eyes had widened little by little with every word out of Bill’s mouth until, finally, she brought them to an abrupt halt when she started to laugh. 

“You -- you’re serious?” she said incredulously. She glanced over to her friends on the sidelines and then around the rest of the courtyard, as if expecting someone to jump out from behind a nearby pillar. “This is a joke, right? Tell me this is a joke.”

Her laugh and slightly louder voice had caught the attention of some other students close by. Her friends over by the entrance of the courtyard were exchanging disbelieving looks and whispers among themselves. 

Bill’s smile faded. 

“A joke?” he repeated blankly. “No -- it’s not a -- ”

Emily fixed Bill with a rather pitying, condescending look as she slipped the pink rose out of his hand. 

“Look, Bill,” she said very coolly, “you’re cute and all -- but you really think you’re my type? You’re a Weasley. Prefect or no, you’re still a blood traitor in messy, second-hand clothes with younger students always tagging along after you like ducklings and a father who chases after Muggle airplanes and scooters rather than work a job that can pay the bills.”

She carelessly dropped the pink rose in the fountain and turned her back on him. 

“Maybe actually make something of yourself, and then we can talk.”

Carewyn had been furious at the things Emily Tyler had said -- but it was the absolutely devastated, heartbroken look on Bill’s darkly flushing face that made her snap. In an instant, the third-year Slytherin had barreled right up to the pink-dressed Gryffindor as she rejoined her snickering friends at the side of the courtyard. 

“How dare you!”

Emily’s friends all stopped laughing to look down at Carewyn. 

“Excuse me?” said Emily, looking down at the much smaller girl with a very condescending eye.

“Bill bared his heart to you just now, and you don’t even care!” Carewyn said fiercely. “Talking about his family being poor and liking Muggle things as if it’s something to be ashamed of...clearly Bill couldn’t have liked you for your personality, because it’s disgusting!”

Emily’s nose wrinkled as she glanced around at her friends. “I don’t think anyone’s surprised you’d throw in your lot with a Weasley, Cursebreaker kid. Your family’s got even less reputation to be proud of -- not to mention your clothes are just as out-of-date as theirs are.”

The boys in the group all gave a low “ooh,” sniggering among themselves. 

“Well, fortunately, unlike you, I could care less about my reputation,” Carewyn spat. “And I’m frankly glad of it! Bill is a kind, hardworking person who always puts others first and puts his whole heart into everything he does! If his family’s reputation makes it so you can’t appreciate any of that, then I’d say you’re the one who needs to ‘make something of yourself’ -- ”

“Carey.”

Carewyn felt a hand coming down on her shoulder, almost holding her back. She looked up, to see Bill standing over her. His gaze was locked on Carewyn rather than Emily and his face was very scarlet, but his voice was low and forcibly level. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he mumbled. 

Carewyn looked at him with concern. “Bill...”

“It’s okay,” said Bill. He forced a thoroughly unconvincing smile. “Let’s just go.”

Carewyn stared at Bill for a long moment, feeling very reluctant to let the issue go. Her eyes then fell away, drifting away -- it seemed they’d acquired an audience, in the rest of the students scattered around the courtyard.

Bill would probably be even more embarrassed, if I escalated things further, she thought guiltily. 

Exhaling quietly, Carewyn shot one more very dirty look in Emily’s direction and walked off with Bill. As they walked off, some of Emily’s friends shouted taunts after them.

“‘Mother Duck’ Weasley strikes again!”

“Follow along after Mama, little duckling!”

Carewyn forced herself to keep walking and not turn around. She shot a furtive glance at Bill, and saw that he was doing the exact same thing, even with the ruby red flush in his cheeks and the slight shine to his eyes. 

Carewyn followed Bill out of the courtyard, down the hall, through the large double doors, and out onto the castle grounds. The eldest Weasley seemed to be walking with no destination in mind, his gaze endless and his steps aimless. Carewyn could practically feel the misery, shame, hurt, and embarrassment coming off of her friend, and it made her heart hurt. Her gaze fell to her feet as they walked side-by-side together. 

“...I guess...it was her, wasn’t it?”

Bill straightened up. He’d clearly forgotten for a moment that Carewyn was there. 

“Huh?” he said, before uncomfortably adding, “...W-who?”

“Who you were thinking about, whenever ‘Uptown Girl’ came on.”

Bill flushed a dark red. “What? No, I...what makes you...think there was anyone I was...?”

“Oh, come on, Bill,” said Carewyn with a pitying look. “Your eyes were always so bright, whenever side two started up. I thought...well, there had to be something special you were thinking about, when you heard that one. Even if it wasn’t a specific person...it just felt like that song was something that spoke to you, I guess...”

She offered him a weak, sad smile. 

“...It kind of reminded me of when I sing certain songs. Like even if the words are someone else’s, you can sing them like they’re all yours.”

Bill considered Carewyn for a minute. Then, his flush darkening further, he bowed his head. 

“...Yeah. I suppose that’s true.”

He gave a low sigh.

“...What did I do wrong, Carewyn?” he asked. “Did I come on too strong? Should I have sent her a note, or asked to meet her somewhere more private?”

Carewyn whirled on Bill with an incredulous look. “What? Bill, you didn’t do anything wrong!"

“Sure feels like it,” mumbled Bill. 

Carewyn stopped right in front of Bill, putting her hands on her hips and fixing him with a very reproachful look. 

“You listen to me, William Weasley,” she said fiercely. “I may not know anything about that snobbish twit -- ”

“Emily Tyler.”

“ -- I may not know much of anything about her, but I know you, and I know you deserve so much better than how she treated you. Even if she doesn’t feel the same way about you as you do about her, there’s no excuse for how cruel she was to you...all clearly just to save face around those awful friends of hers...”

Bill blinked in surprise. “You reckon?”

“Yeah,” said Carewyn. “She kept glancing at her friends, the whole time. She rejected you that soundly because she thought they wouldn’t approve of you.”

Seeing the look on Bill’s face, she added, “But that shouldn’t matter, Bill! If Emily thinks impressing her friends is more important than being a decent human being, that’s her problem. And if her so-called ‘friends’ are the sort of people who look down their noses at good people like your family...well, clearly Emily Tyler’s a rotten judge of character.”

Bill looked a bit comforted by Carewyn’s words. He tried to smile again, but it still looked halfhearted at best. 

“Thanks, Carey,” he said lowly. “It’s just...well, she’s just so amazing. Talented and pretty and perfectly brilliant -- you should see her in Defense Against the Dark Arts, I reckon she’s on the NEWT level already. She even said she might like being a Cursebreaker, when she graduates -- travel everywhere, and become world-famous...”

Carewyn brought a hand onto Bill’s shoulder and gave it a supportive squeeze. It felt a little odd: he hadn’t really talked to anyone about his feelings for Emily, and just talking his feelings out, rather than listening to someone else’s...it was something he could only really ever remember doing with his parents, and only occasionally. It was weird, but it felt...nice.

“I just...didn’t think she’d react like that,” Bill admitted. “Not that I expected I’d sweep her off her feet or anything, but...I’d sort of hoped that she’d give me a chance, and that when we went out, we’d get on, and maybe even hit it off...”

He sighed heavily. 

“Guess I really don’t know much about love at all, do I?”

Carewyn frowned deeply. “That’s not true at all! You know plenty about love. You love your brothers and Ginny, and your parents...and you love your friends too!”

“That’s really not the same thing,” said Bill. 

“It should be,” huffed Carewyn. “Love is love. If you love someone, you care about their happiness more than your own. Sure, maybe when you marry someone, there’s a lot more kissing and you want to have kids together and stuff like that...but well, the important part is that caring, right? Without that, what does the rest of that stuff matter?”

Bill’s face softened slightly. 

“...I guess you’re right. And I guess...when I am looking for that person...I should find somebody who’ll care about my happiness just as much as I do theirs.”

Carewyn nodded with a smile. “Definitely.”

She took Bill’s hand.

“And maybe someday when your ship comes in,” she sang brightly, “she’ll understand what kind of guy you’ve been...”

Bill’s face flushed again, but this time it wasn’t out of embarrassment -- this time, it was accompanied by a bright, touched look in his brown eyes. 

“And then I’ll win,” he finished, in a much less trained, gravelly singing voice than Carewyn’s. 

Carewyn beamed. She walked on ahead, pulling lightly at Bill’s hand so as to coax him to walk next to her. 

“And when she knows what she wants from her tiiiiime~...”

Bill gave a laugh, but followed Carewyn’s lead, recalling the words by heart. 

“And when she wakes up and makes up her miiiiind~...”

Soon Carewyn and Bill were back toward the castle, swinging their linked hands idly back and forth as they sang the rest of the song together, getting louder and louder with each line. 

“She'll see I'm not so tough, Just because I'm in love with an uptown girl! You know, I've seen her in her uptown world -- She's getting tired of her high-class toys And all her presents from her uptown boys.... She's got a choice! Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!”

Before long, all the two thought of while singing that song was hanging out together and being silly, while not caring what anyone else thought. Not a single word of the song brought Emily Tyler back to Bill’s mind -- and in the years to come, Bill would continue to enjoy the song with no negative connotations whatsoever, instead only remembering when Carewyn and he sang it at the top of their lungs to make him feel better. And that moment did indeed signal a shift in the dynamic between Carewyn and Bill. For Carewyn, it made her feel like she was walking home with Jacob again -- like she had an older brother who she could look after, the way she used to for Jacob. And for Bill, it made him feel like he’d acquired a second younger sister -- one who emotionally supported him the same way he did his real siblings. 

One thing was for sure, though -- it was this moment, among many others to come, that cemented Bill and Carewyn as the very best of friends. 

x~x~x~x

Tagging @the-al-chemist​ and @oneirataxia-girl​ for expressing interest in this prompt! 🤗

Carewyn’s dress is based on the design on the left 💗

[weakforarwen]

The Once and Future Queen

The episode title alone gives me chills. I didn’t want to rewatch the episode and write down my thoughts because I knew I’d be here hours, but, yeah, here we are. I love this episode with all my heart. It truly has everything that’s good about Merlin. It’s light, cheesy, funny, Gwen plays a big role, Arthur gets character development. The only person who loses out is Merlin. Poor Merlin not only spends the entire episode at Arthur’s beck and call (as usual), but also has to deal with Gaius. Fortunately, Gaius eventually sees reason. Also, I really loved the farmer boy Merlin found to take Arthur’s place. I always laugh when he appears for the first time, dirt on his face and uncombed hair. It’s so cute, the actor’s so cute, his scenes are so cute. I’m like Gwen when she’s watching him. 

It’s interesting how layered the episode is. Even if this is not a very important detail, I find it significant that Arthur almost experiences a day in Merlin’s life - insofar as he sleeps in the house of a commoner and wins the tournament but doesn’t get the credit for it. It’s Merlin who wins the last round of the tournament, and, as always, goes unnoticed, but Arthur still defeats Sir Leon and his knights fair and square without rubbing it in their faces. It’s the most Merlin like he’s ever acted, until The Sword in the Stone Part 1, when he loses his free will. 

Arthur’s always been very insecure, so it doesn’t surprise me he wanted to prove himself, to know he really won a match. He’s noble and prideful like that. It’s interesting that he thought he needed to stop being Prince Arthur in order to be treated equally, but he found that with Gwen just by being himself. It was Gwen, not Merlin, who was completely honest with Arthur and treated him as an equal. Of course, at first, Gwen played the part of the servant and Arthur the prince, but after Gwen spoke to him candidly, their dynamic changed. For example, Arthur actually asked Gwen if he could stay with her and thanked her for the hospitality; he also insisted on sleeping on the floor. I still felt bad for Gwen at first, though, when Arthur was turning his nose up at her home, asking her to fetch water in the middle of the night, taking her bed and forcing her to sleep on the floor. It’s funny that, during the first part of the tournament, Gwen was clearly rooting for Arthur despite him taking her bed, but, after he made her get him clean water,  the next day, at the tournament, Gwen was no longer rooting for him, haha. 

Words cannot express how much I love that Gwen put Arthur in his place. I loved that she exposed his hypocrisy. He wanted to be treated just like everyone else, but expected Gwen to be a servant in her own home. Although Arthur took her words to heart, because he wanted to be her equal and because she wasn’t his personal servant, he kept treating Merlin like a servant throughout the episode, and expected to be treated like a Prince. Small steps, right? 

I loved how Gwen tried to soften her words by adding “my lord” after utterly destroying Arthur - not that he didn’t enjoy it,  Arthur fell in love with Gwen during that scene; she should’ve been meaner, he liked it. Arthur’s someone who’s felt trapped his entire life by his title and destiny. He longed to be free, to be himself, whoever that was. Like he told Gwen in Queen of Hearts, he found that with her. Merlin and Gwen are both people who aren’t afraid of “disrespecting” Arthur and being truthful to him, which is why he’s close to them. Gwen was like a breath of fresh air to Arthur. She separated the man from the Prince.

Gwen’s harsh words impressed Arthur. He wanted to show her that he was more than what she saw in him. But Merlin saw right through Arthur. Why would Arthur want to wear a nice shirt and “cook” dinner for Gwen if he wasn’t interested in her? He was interested, and he hung on to her every word during dinner. I still can’t understand how Gwen thought, for even a second, that Arthur knew how to cook, especially that well, and how she didn’t notice how clean the kitchen was, the lack of smell, the untouched ingredients, etc. It makes no sense. She again told Arthur off, for lying to her. I liked that scene. I liked that Gwen plainly told Arthur she wasn’t ashamed of being a servant. He thought he’d offended her by saying only servants cooked, but being a servant didn’t bother her, his attitude did. She wanted him so show some humility, to serve a servant, but it’s hard for Arthur to do so when he’s been raised that way. I still believe he showed humility in the end, though. He offered to clear the table and was unpretentious and unguarded around her. One of my favorite moments between them was when Arthur lightly grabbed Gwen’s arm and told her he just didn’t know to speak with those he cared about. That was an awfully tense moment. But not as tense as the kiss. That was epic. That was genuinely one of the best first kisses in a show ever. The lighting, the music, the way their lips touched, molded to each other, and separated.... Everything was perfect. 

Also, it’s cute that Gwen wanted to give Arthur a token for good luck. It had clearly never happened before to Arthur. It’s very surprising that he kissed her, and very meaningful too. Arthur’s not the impulsive type, not when it doesn’t concern Camelot. Arthur only goes against his father’s wishes when he decides to risk himself for his people; otherwise, Arthur doesn’t step out of line. Even if he deceived his father in this episode, it was only to prove himself, and his father would’ve understood that. However, like he told Gwen, his father wouldn’t have understood their kiss or their connection; yet Arthur kissed Gwen anyway. It was a pure act, sweet and unguarded, an instinctual demonstration of his affection. It was the first time Arthur did something truly unexpected and that he was wholly unprepared for.

The end of the episode intrigues me. It was Gwen who told Arthur that perhaps things would be different when he became King. Was she telling Arthur their time would one day come? Or was she simply telling him that he would one day have the power to right these injustices? Usually, it’s Arthur telling Gwen to hold on to hope for them because he’ll change things as King and Gwen asking him to be realistic. This felt like a role reversal. Arthur and Gwen parted ways when Uther called out to Arthur. It was very symbolic. Arthur looked back at Gwen; their music played as Arthur walked away from Gwen and she watched him go.

Arthur and Gwen’s theme is honestly amazing. There was another time where a different song was playing and it build up the tension so well. It was after Arthur “won” the tournament and had to reveal his identity but decided that was his great moment of humility and declined. The way he looked at Gwen there was so sweet. I kind of noticed a parallel between Arthur and Lancelot. When Arthur was injured by the hitman, Gwen begged Arthur to give up, because he had nothing to prove to anyone, least of all her, but Arthur insisted he had everything to prove. He reminded me of Lancelot because Lancelot wasn’t satisfied with being unlawfully knighted and believed he still had to prove his nobility, so he left Camelot. Gwen never believed he had anything to prove, but he always felt that he did. Gwen was impressed by Arthur’s choice to not reveal himself in a similar way to how she was impressed by Lancelot’s choice to die for her in Lancelot and Guinevere. Still, whereas Arthur was someone who still had a lot of growing up to and a lot to prove to her, Lancelot was already a perfect gentleman, her equal, someone she could devote herself to.

I’m not trying to make this about Lancelot. I just feel like the reason why Gwen reacted so strongly to Lancelot after kissing Arthur is because he chose to die for her. Gwen was incredibly worried and moved by Arthur during the last leg of the tournament too. Her feelings for Lancelot and Arthur were both immature, but Lancelot was the perfect hero from a fairytale so he “won” her affection that day. Gwen has a very strong sense of justice. She initially became attracted to Merlin and Lancelot because they showed they cared for people like her, same with Arthur. Her attraction to Arthur was the only one that actually grew into love. It’s insane how much Arthur grows and changes because of her, though he was never as rude and princely with Gwen as in this episode. His posture and tone changed dramatically from the beginning of the episode to the end. By the end of it Arthur had lowered his guard around Gwen completely, in ways he rarely did for anyone else; yet this became the blueprint for his relationship with Gwen.  

But I admit that I didn’t really like Gwen being so moved by Arthur’s injury and actions. Just like in Lancelot and Guinevere, it felt too dramatic, like she was a damsel waiting for her knight in shiny armor. This is a general complaint with her characterization though. Anyway, last thing I want to mention is Morgana’s utter lack of interest during the tournament. It was very relatable.