#art imitates life or whatever the fuck

[idiotarsonist]

I love so much the way that for jcs judas is ur blorbo and jesus is mine…. Maybe we should kiss in a garden over it…. Clearly that can only end well

I have thought about this before too lmao. I love that we’re both insane for this play but in slightly different ways. Very iconic of us I think.

[shalpilot]

.

[annikuh]

not the real life embargo on talking abt Panathir

[deathsmallcaps]

Me looking at modern anime girls: Give ‘em a schnozz. They can hardly breathe!

[wildemaven]

first anniversary | dieter x poppy

A Sweet Creature

Ava Greene sits down with actor and friend, Dieter Bravo. Hollywood’s new leading man gets candid about life in front of and behind the camera. He talks about his latest movie, his commitment to his sobriety and his newest role— husband?!

Ava Greene: You're approaching three years sober now, how are you feeling?

Dieter Bravo: Probably the best I’ve felt in a long time. Sobriety is a day to day progression that I take very seriously, and I try to not lose sight of that even when I’m having bad days. Though, I’m grateful bad days have been few and far between at this point in my sobriety. I can attribute that to the support system I have built for myself through friends, family, my sponsor that I still work with and most importantly my wife who keeps me grounded daily. They all continue to keep me in check and remind me how awesome my life is, especially right now. Staying clean is a full time commitment, and it’s really a beautiful thing.

AG: You followed in your famous parents footsteps by going into acting and your career and struggles with sobriety have been well documented but your parents have rarely commented publicly, are they supportive of your work and your journey?

DB: For me, I don’t need them to make a show of it by commenting or sharing their thoughts publicly to know they support me. There was a point in time where they did all they could do for me, but ultimately it had to be my choice to make the decision to get clean. Thankfully, we’ve been rebuilding our relationship over the last few years. And being in the public eye for most of our lives, the last thing we want is for outsiders thinking they have a say in our lives. In short, yes I have very supportive parents in all aspects of my life and I’m so happy for that.

AG: This is your second project since rehab, are you viewing this as a comeback or a fresh start?

DB: Comeback? I didn’t know I left… Kidding! Sure, some might say it’s a comeback. A fresh start. Whatever analogy best fits the narrative is fine by me— and I don’t mean that negatively in any sense. I mean, you’ve known me long enough to know I just try not to focus on any of that stuff, messes with my fucking brain waves. I just see it as me doing what I love with a new perspective and a different approach to choosing what projects I’m going to give my time to than I have in the past.

AG: What can you tell us about this project and the character you're playing?

DB: I had the best f*ckin’ time while shooting this film— sorry, but the emphasis was needed. I was really drawn to the vibrancy that this script evoked, even with the serious nature of the storyline and characters. I couldn’t stop thinking or talking about for weeks afterwards. I’d sit with my wife at breakfast and we’d discuss the script and my character for what felt like hours. I knew after I heard her feedback that I needed to be apart of this film— she might have said I’d be stupid to say no to it, in her own loving way.

The film is really about the process of rediscovering yourself. Navigating the challenges that come along with being at your lowest point and leaning on the ones who have been there for you. It’s about finding love in its purest form when you never thought you were deserving of it.

I found bits of myself in this character as we were filming, it was very much a cathartic experience for me. I guess you could say it was art imitating life in a weird way.

AG: There's already been some buzz about this year's award season, do you think this is finally your year?

DB: Ooooh! Is it too presumptuous for me to say yes?! I’ve started dusting the spot where I plan for it to go. I sound like some sort of pompous idiot! Now no one is going to go see it!*

I take it back!

In all seriousness, ‘cause I’m sure Poppy and my agent will be rolling their eyes when they read this. If all I get is a couple nominations, that alone feels like winning. A shiny statue would be nice though— just saying.

AG: You've talked often about your love of art and you recently purchased a gallery. Are you planning to publicly pursue other creative endeavors?

DB: I won’t be joining American Idol anytime soon if that’s what you’re asking. Oh, you weren’t referring to my ability to hold a note during our many karaoke nights— noted!

How did you put it? Other creative endeavors? I’ve got a few art pieces in the works right now that I’m itching to dive back into when I get home. I’ve got a major gallery in LA lined up later in the year for an artist spotlight exhibit, they’ll be housing some of my work through the next year. Shoutout to my wife for getting that all lined up while I was away shooting this film.

AG: What's next for Dieter Bravo? Any other projects lined up you can tell us about?

DB: I’m looking forward to some downtime I have coming up. Poppy has the summer off, so we’ll get to finally live that newlywed life. Settle into the role of doting husband while she does her thing at the gallery.

AG: Off the record, if you got married and didn't tell anyone I will kick yours and Poppy’s ass!

DB: We’re celebrating our one year this month actually. We eloped quietly last year right after we got engaged— wanted to keep it to ourselves for a little while. Which reminds me, you and Bryony should hop on a call with Poppy after this. Seeing as I let the cat out of the bag and this is our announcement— surprise!

Huge shoutout out to @gnpwdrnwhiskey for allowing me to borrow her Ava from Conversations with a Movie Star for this. Ava was so gracious and even wrote the questions herself. I’m so grateful for Lellen and all her support and advice she had given me throughout the writing process of Sweet Creature!

Sweet Creature Celebration

[jazzyblusnowflake]

OMG hi…I really like your art and was wondering if you wanna be mutuals??????????? Also tell me about your MD ships :3c

honey we are dating- .....okay yknow what- HI PRETTY & TALENTED LADY- yess i will absolutely love toooo 🙈💕💕💕💕💕

also lets see uhhh okay this is an excuse for me to just... expload-

keep in mind not every ship is meant for all of you so dont badger me about stuff that ISNT CANON or YOU DONT SHIP. contrary to whatever you believe, when somone posts about THEIR ships, nobody wants to hear about you NOT shipping it on THAT EXACT post.

hang in there, this gon be a long one >:p

First off we are starting strong with Nuzi- Biscuitbites obviously thats a given- these two just have too much to be said about why and how they make eachother the best version of eachother, whether they ever became canon or not- they fit like puzzle pieces- they lessen eachothers negative traits by being their for eachother.

next is Vuzi- Violentviolet, they are my favorite kind of enemies to lovers 😔 but its also tragic smh. kinda pissed off at how V always does something good in Uzis favor only when she is LITERALLY PASSED OUT- either in the camp ep on the bus or in Alices lab. like damn ofFUCKINGcourse Uzi wouldnt know she cares about her 😭😭😭

envuzi- Violentbitingbiscuits, i love these goobers with all my heart- they deserve the best 😔💕💕💕💕

envy - [does this poor ship just NOT have an exclusive FINDABLE tag name??? im calling them GoldenMemories...], i like to think that if they were in the manor still, and nothing bad had ever happened, these two would be comforting eachother in the healthiest way possible. V needs someone like N and N is just adorable like that uwu

Next we have JxTessa/Jessa- [calling them Fancyblades cuz why not-] J deserves some closure for the shit shes gone through smhhh 😔, its a tragic yuri of J loving and wanting something she probably already accepted she couldnt have, and even then she gotta deal with Ns ass being the favorite one regardless of how hard she tries to be perfect... sighhh i wanna imagine them in a future where Tessa was spared as the only human and J could save her 😭😭😭😭 Tessa might have loved doing mechanical stuff or wore black to hide grease/oil stains on her clothes from her parents and wore gloves to hide her oily stained hands- i want her to have a scene of wiring drones back to life and saving them and saying something like "hey there, you made it! dont worry, ill take care of you, youre my friend now :3" or something //dies//, also before anyone says it- even if Tessa was a teen in the flashbacks- romance is not exclusive to ADULTS, teens can love eachother without having sexual stuff involved. no she was not their MOTHER figure, she was their FRIEND who liked to fix robots for herself to not be alone in a house where her own parents literally chain her up as punishment. i dont even know why im arguing about this, people headcanon or make aus about characters NOT being dead all the time and if Tessa was alive for as long as J thought she was, Tessa would have been a perfectly fine adult either way. so counting this, yes shes canonically considered an adult when Cyn tries to imitate an adult humans body 🙄 makes as much sense as everything else i guess-

next ones i got is NorixYeva/Neva- Solverlilies- i just think theyre neat 😭😭😭 and once again, like everything else in this franchise- they are tragic yuris 😔 damn liam im finding a pattern over here 🤨 anyway, i like to think they either got closer in the lab experimentations or were already close when they were working as WDs in the campsite area for the humans. obviously canonically they were probably straight or just not into eachother romantically- [Nori either u have the worst taste men or Khan just fucking lost it after you died-] but also on the other handddd.... they have 2 hands and they are robots, i want them to kiss like two barbie dolls and im gonna make them do just that-

DollxLizzy/Dizzy- Bloodypink, wost fucking ship names ever, i cant find shit on them with these tags and it makes me angry >:/ at this point 2/3s of my ships are just tragic yuris smh, Doll did not deserve any of the things handed to her, even if she went about doing some things the wrong way i wish Lizzy didnt just abandon her- but then again, Doll did kinda abuse Lizzys trust and Lizzy got scared of being close to a serial murderer so.... morality calls this a draw? 😭 im crying... i wish someone was there to help Doll... sigh... i like to think Lizzy would have waited for Doll to just come back at some point... oh well, thats why AUs exist :"3 //sobs in the corner//

DollxUzi/Dollzi- Bloodybats, this ship is so underrated to me... they could have been... so much more. but why weren't they? did Yeva abandon ever getting close to Uzi when she was a kid after Nori died? did Uzi and Doll just never play around together as kids when their mothers were so close? were they ever close and something went wrong as they grew older? at worst they could have been like sisters together, and at best maybe more than friends. i just dont know what happened here, like Yeva could have tried to keep an eye on Uzi, maybe Uzi could have found Dolls powers so cool before having them too- i dont know theres literally tons of possibilities- but if Doll deserved to be saved or cared for by anyone, at least one of them should have been Uzi... sigh.

ThadxV- Killingblonde, yall this is... the cutest shit... ever???? like from here on out we kinda go into the more or less crackship territory but these two are adorable- Dumbass yet wholesome jock boy that just wants to keep his queen happy 😔👌👌👌 He and Uzi would have so much to talk about on "crushing on literal murder bots that stabbed and almost ate us" its literally love at first stab smhhh 😫💕

ThadxSam- Smokyjock ???? for some fucking reason??? i dont know what my brain did here man- i just like the trope of someone getting under Thads skin- like pair up the healthy sports loving gym boy with the lazy but wholesome dumbass that does drugs or is always just sleep deprived and Thad is always trying to just... take care of his ass and make him take care of himself but he just WONT SMHHH-

okay some more or less crack ships down here:

ThadxN: it speaks for itself. its too adorable and youll go blind from the light of wholesomeness-

ThadxNxUzi: Uzi will die here from the overwhelming wholesomeness... oh bonus if its just a 4s polycule of ThadxNxUzixV i mean i know im pushing my luck but.... random crackships go brr- V and Uzi will complain but love their dumbass golden puppy partners-

ThadxUzi: i think they could have been close and Thad caring about her as a childhood friend turned crush sounds just too cute for me 😔

LizzyxUzi: another random ass rivals to lovers or some shit idk what this is, Lizzy would pay Uzi to kiss the fuck out of her i dont make the rules-

ThadxLizzy: in some cases where they are NOT headcanoned as siblings or cousins, i think they have a good energy of wholesome jock bf and girly queen cheerleader lol, Thad is just a good bf eitherway-

DollxUzixLizzy: the gals would not leave a single second of silence for the small gremlin i swear to God- [Uzi is gay as FUCK for her gfs, absolute girloser unit with her gorgeous but crazy gfs]

okay for the end i have some characters that arent ships but i wish they could have become closer as friends or work out their issues...

J and N- too much abuse and toxicity here, i wish they could talk together more and see they have a lot of things in common- maybe a full line of dialogue from J without threatning N in every sense of the manner would be nice for a change =_=

Doll and V- again, a bit morally ambiguous to ship a character with the murderer of your family, esp when said murderer hasnt expressed regret lmao, but i wish they could at least be friends... Dolls disdain for the murder drones pushed her to end up the way she did. maybe if she didnt do it alone she would have been alive by now. so i like to think what would have happened if she and V could have made up- not necessarily Doll forgiving her- but at least having the space to grow and understand why they did they things that happened.

Cyn and literally ANYONE- i want the solver to be SEPARATE from Cyn- i wish Cyn would have still existed somewhere down there and was savable- i wish this poor child AI had a happy ending to her by connecting with the others as ACTUAL siblings... goddamnit 😔

aaaand thats it for this fine ass day 🫡 yall are welcome to ask about any of these- boy the tags are gonna be.... a lot.

[tornadeoqueen]

Really have been in such a bad funk lately so fuck it, here is a list of things about Twisters that I love in no particular order:

that scene where Tyler and Kate are explaining how a tornado forms and the scene cuts between the two of them so it’s like a seamless line of dialogue/they are so in sync each other. Taking about weather with the same reverence that’s soulmatism.

“Ohkay uniform. Wrinkle free shirt. Crisp hat!”

That the wranglers and storm par crew cross paths so often they know each others names enough to rib at each other (and wranglers having the time of their lives competing against them)

When that one storm par guy yells “chase it!” because he’s secretly a Tyler Owen’s fan

Tyler’s truck driving across a field towards the first tornado looking like a cross between Mater from Cars and a horse galloping like yeehaw “it’s like the Wild West out here!” They saw the opportunity and they took it

That his truck is red!!!! And I know people are tempted to be like “he inherited Bill’s truck” but let’s not forget Bill’s truck got eaten by an EF5 and I don’t think it made it out like Tyler’s did

KATE’S BARRELS (never not over KATES’S BARRELS)

I wanna know more about Dani and Dexter’s friendship. Dexter being all “there’s a name for that there’s a name for that” and Dani’s like “just enjoy it, man!” I just know they balance each other out

“We’re driving into a tornado for gods sakes”

The way Tyler is immediately smitten and recognises how smart Kate is and like that’s why he likes her so much?? Like yeah she’s pretty but she’s pretty BRILLIANT You can tell he’s just like “wow I have met my match”

Kate giving it back to him and not falling for his charm so easily - there’s a fire/cheekiness in there

When Tyler’s heart of gold/the real Tyler starts to show away from the cameras and it’s just Kate and Tyler testing Kate’s theories but Tyler is still 100% himself like his persona is not all bravado he still wants to send things up in rockets and drive into tornadoes like that’s just who he is and when it’s away from the cameras it’s kind of dorky dude

Frankenstein playing in the cinema in El Reno and Doctor Frankenstein yelling “it’s alive!” Right before the wall of the cinema is ripped off

Also while I’m on that, that the wall that gets ripped away is the wall with the screen, making the storm outside in some sense the movie wow I just thought about that. Art imitating life or whatever the ultimate 4D experience (reminds me of sound and light shows ok I’m digressing)

“She’s your story, Ben.”

Hanging out and sitting on the truck having lunch and staring at clouds I need 1000x fics about this

When they rustle the team together to get Kate’s theories in motion with the whole team and everyone is immediately on board and defers to Kate as to why they need a trailer ect

Addy: “you’re no fun since you got hit by lightning” I WANT THE STORY

The Tornado Wrangler belt buckle 😭

Ok this list is getting long but anyway the movie isn’t perfect but it’s fun and I’m glad it makes me happy in this way

[eff-plays]

But Astarion does seem to feel guilt/remorse when meeting the 7k spawns… idk it feels sometimes he does feel guilt and sometimes he’s just heartless.,

If this is in response to this post I made, then that post was in response to this and also some other fandom bullshit.

So I'm not saying Astarion doesn't feel remorse ever, but highlighting that at the core of his being, he is deeply selfish and self-serving, which a lot of fandom seems to either excuse away, or pretend is super good actually.

Here's the thing. Astarion does feel remorse ... in the Spawn ending. And obviously he feels no remorse in the Ascendant ending. So what happens with reglier ol' Asty? Well, he's not letting himself feel remorse. Because he's still not ready for it. He's still afraid of it. And like, yes! That's a totally logical thing for his character to do in that moment.

My problem is what people do next, and it's that they assume that his being this fucked up is actually an excuse to be a shithead to his victims and to others. That we should extend sympathy only to him and not to the people he's hurt.

"Well he was forced into it!" And? If I was forced into hurting someone else for my own survival, I'd still feel bad for hurting them? Most people would. I'm not saying Astarion doesn't, but that is distinctly how he acts. Which makes sense, self-defense mechanism etc etc. And stans agree that yes, he does supposedly feel guilt but he can't express it. So why do they excuse it when he instead chooses cruelty?

Again, I'm not making a moral judgment on him, he's a fictional character. I think what he does is (generally, I agree the reaction to the kids vs Sebastian is a bit odd) logical and makes sense for what he is. But pointing out those flaws of his, that were written like that on purpose, that are acknowledged flaws both in- and out-of-universe, doesn't make someone "gross" or a bad person. People disliking Astarion for his bad traits aren't automatically bad people who just don't get him.

He's a dick! He's written to be a dick! It's fine if people don't vibe with it or joke about killing him or do outright kill him! Will they miss out? Yes! But that's their perogative. People not liking Astarion, or hell, just doing something as innocuous as pointing out that he's kind of a huge asshole, are not uwu missing the point or being "gross" or whatever. They are acknowledging a fundamental and undisputable part of his character.

You can't on one hand wax poetic about how complex he is and how he lashes out because he's in such deep pain, and then take issue with people who point out how he lashes out and how it hurts others when he does so.

Speaking of, the thing about his reaction to the spawn kids? And how he supposedly feels bad but can't express it? He's all about killing them again! He wants to kill them! And when does he express remorse over both this wish and his actions toward them when he first victimized them? In the Spawn ending. The one that requires you to tell him no. Don't do that shit. It's bad. What you want is bad for you and for everyone else, even if it makes sense why you want it.

As a friend pointed out, it is kind of wild to see how life imitates art. In order for Astarion to get better, you need to acknowledge and push back against his cruelty and challenge his view of the world. That includes challenging his shitty coping mechanisms and reactions to things. And yet, it seems some people can't even do that.

You can acknowledge the complexities of his writing without using it as a cudgel against any and all criticism. And in particular, you can sympathize with him without attacking anyone who doesn't have the same level of sympathy, for usually quite understandable reasons.

Like I keep saying. Just because you understand how he acts doesn't make it somehow correct!

Anyway, sorry about that. I just had some thots because my brain is so big and full of worms.

[kaelidascope]

director's commentary for the parallel hangouts merging together in Reach in MM (and WHAT WERE BLAKE AND WEISS DISCUSSING IN THAT CHILI'S)

**cracks my knuckles**

OKAY

Both Reach and Resist go hand in hand and achieve a handful of things all in one go. They read like a large time skip montage, showcase the growing tension between the bees, memorialize a handful of personal favorite memories of mine, and cover all these mod-podge collection of scenes I wanted for MM bees but ran out of space to properly expand on LOL

Blake teaching Yang how to pole-dance;

The stuffed bee comes from Pugoata's Etsy shop and I have one on my desk NGJFGFKGF

Yang not realizing the pole spins was also my first reaction touching a dancing pole for the first time LOL before I got into dancing, my roommate had me install her pole into the ceiling of our apartment and I went to touch it and almost fell off. Life imitates art or whatever

Around this time, as we later see in Resist, Blake is obviously going back and forth with her personal feelings and beliefs. Sawrin words it well in his breakdowns, but she is wanting to give into temptation by the obvious signs Yang is throwing at her. But then she remembers her life and situation and goes down a spiral of assumed futures and 'what ifs' and then just shuts down and runs off. Despite her willingly putting them BOTH in a situation where they could flirt and kiss. She's giving into natural temptation when she shows off to Yang more than she should, getting in her personal space. It's an easy mask to hide behind when she can play off her advances as 'teaching Yang how to be sexy'

She totally did intend on kissing her she just wussed out LMAO and what Yang doesn't see if she is downing that water in literal gulps because she is blushing profoundly and her hearts beating a mile a minute. This is roughly around the time Blake starts getting Ideas.TM about Yang and none of them are in the bible

Yang comes over for Guys Night at Pyrrha's;

I designed their neighborhood after the historic yuppity district close to where I lived for a brief time. More specifically, it's modeled after a fucked up cobblestone route I used to have to drive when I delivered pizzas in that area

Weiss may have been cut off from her family but she still had savings. She invested a fuck ton into that property specifically cus there's no HOA

The vibe I was going for with the fire pit and the projection outside on a cold November night was modeled after 2 experiences of mine. I remember being super fucking cozy around a fire pit at my ex's family house once and it was one of those rare nights where it was freezing. But with the scent of the firewood burning and being bundled up near loved ones, it was a rare moment of peace for me in my early twenties. Second, we used to have these family friends who had a sheet tacked up on their back porch and would watch football on it. I blended the two vibes together for this one

I can't get a lime to float to the bottom of a bottle of Corona so neither can Yang

I used to destroy the plate of pigs in a blanket at cookouts so that's why they ate those

Pyrrha's gambling addiction was born on the spot in this scene! It started with her just placing a bet but then after that, I saw opportunities present themselves and it was just too good not to pass up. The club-wide bet also did not exist until this chapter either LOL I wrote it into the story after the fact and it is not mentioned until The Hangover Chapter. But chronologically, she established it the second she saw Yang take Blake home after work.

The Chili's Girls Night is real and I used to do it often. The photo of them leaning over the table filled with empty margarita glasses also exists

And yes. We were very hungover after (there are more photos that exist, but for the sake of pre-transition face reveal, I'll send them to you Spork in DMs after if you wanna see them LOL)

So on this particular night, Weiss spent a good chunk of it complaining about her usual gripes. After three drinks, she asks Blake about Yang. What Yang DOESN'T see is how supportive Weiss actually is of their relationship, and she's the one who told her to text Yang and send them some pictures of their night out. Blake has been dragging heels FOREVER about dating and Weiss is just glad she's not being a fucking shut in who only focuses on working and nothing else. She was very much a recluse even when they lived together, so she's glad to see Blake spending time with someone other than Weiss's mandated outings. She had thought something might've gone somewhere with Ilia, but Ilia couldn't end up handling it. They then collectively nod and drink on her behalf (poor thing). They talk about some things in their past memories. Blake asks how she and Pyrrha are doing. They talk about some social drama going on in the club. Jaune is their waiter at this particular Chili's (yes there is lore here) and they make drunk small talk/tease with him. After drink 5 or 6 Blake starts getting loose about her attraction and shyness towards Yang and Weiss asks Pyrrha to bring Yang to come get them since Blake's too embarrassed to do anything.

Blake actually being receptive towards Yang here is literally cus her insecurities and self-imposed rules are barred out cus of how drunk she is. Yang acknowledges this, much to her dismay, and misses another opportunity to kickstart their relationship because if they are gonna start, it should be proper LOL and not something that could be seen as taking advantage of Blake. Both of them are old kind of beyond the sloppy juvenile mistakes

Blake "sleeping" on Yang is a memory from when I had a really rough emotional night during my grieving period and my boyfriend at the time just held me on the couch while I half-slept. Same vibes. We eventually had to move but I did not want to.

In the anthology series Midnight Forever, we will see a lot more Blake/Weiss interactions both from the past and off-screen throughout the original fic. Including the night Weiss made her stay and their first Margarita Night SKKSKSS Weiss and Blake's dynamic is modeled after mine and my now oldest standing friendship :) the very same girl who I danced with! Unlike Blake and Weiss though, our dancer personas were completely different and incompatible LOL we did not have a matching act

[jovenshires]

hi katie jovenshires im a big fan. if ur ok with sharing, what ships are in the botb au and what are the vibes for each 👀

thank you so much!! <3<3<3

hmm i've been thinking about this and i think i'm only deadset on spommy, ianthony, kolivia, and amangela as far as like. my canon goes. not sure what if any other ships im gonna include... ive gone back and forth with shaymien and shaynse too but not sure!!

but, i will say, for the most part the edits are mostly left up to interpretation so you can all decide whatever ships you want really!! (or if you don't want any ships at all that's cool too <3) like i've said to me the botbau is a little collaborative barbie world that we can all make whatever we want out of. like i told someone the other day - if you wanna write a fic or make an edit or something for this and it doesn't exactly line up with what i might write or think ab the au... PLEASE go for it. it is out there, public domain now, do with it what you will. and i will love and eat it up no matter what!!

as for the vibes in MY head, i will throw them under the cut so this post doesn't get too long KFNLKNKFNF

spommy: i've covered this a little before here so if you want the full version check that out but BASICALLY spommy is kind of rivals-to-friends-to-lovers except tommy has an Extremely one-sided beef and spencer just thinks he's cool and wants to be buds. eventually spencer wins him over and then... uh oh! love! once again skimmin some details that, if i ever Write A Fic for it, will be spoilers. but that’s the idea you know

ianthony: taking this directly from my dms to lilac but basically. ianthony botbau my beloveds....... to relearn how to co-pilot something with someone that should come so second-hand to you but you're both different people now but your feelings carry through anyway for who they were and are and will be........ yeah theyre everything to me. in a way it's a mirror to life/what actually happened to them with smosh (art imitates life) but the divorce era was even MORE famous because they're like a household name so it was a lot more pressure. idk yet if they were together beforehand and then broke up and now they're getting BACK together or if they had unresolved feelings they never dealt with and now they're struggling to reconcile them with their renewed friendship AND reunited band/the fame that comes from that... but either way they are Messy. im obsessed.

kolivia: kolivia in this au fascinates me because in my head keith is kind of known for being a player and fucking around but i think he stopped that Ages ago because. these two are basically dating. like they don't put a label on it and it's not public and i don't even know if THEY know how in love they are. but they live together. they sleep together "just to blow off steam" (come on now). they don't date other people. everyone can see it but them type beat. olivia's like "he's not my boyfriend" and then picks up the phone and is like "hi baby do you want chinese for dinner" NDLFKNANKSFLN like they are exclusive and they have deep feelings for each other but they are both so deeply in denial that they swear they're not dating. they have realistically been in a relationship for like five years.

amangela: RIVALS TO LOVERS AGAINNNN i have talked about this one a Lot with baflegacy bc like. they are my roman empire. at least these two have met on multiple occasions and actually fought with each other - they keep meeting at gigs/in bars and bickering. angela "clearly abba is the best band ever" giarratana and amanda "WHAT about fleetwood mac you DUMB ASS" lehan-canto. like they meet a bunch and EVERY time they end up bickering. meanwhile angela keeps seeing thirst traps of amanda on tiktok and being like "why are all the lesbians obsessed with her she SUCKS" and chanse and arasha, who have heard this three million times, are like "yeah okay buddy whatever helps you sleep at night." meanwhile amanda is living her bliss <3 and then they realize they're both in battle of the bands and uh oh! things come to a head!

[chameleonspell]

HTDC commentary - 7: choice & 8: simple

[Looking back at HTDC after nearly ten years: comments on lore, character notes, influences, art, whatever. May contain spoilers for later chapters.]

chapter text: 7: choice & 8: simple

Time to get Iriel out of Vivec! Addhiranirr gets a cameo, because she's right there in the Underworks, and she can tell Iriel about Tsiya in Balmora, which is where I actually want him to end up. This caused me a different problem, later, when Iriel was supposed to locate her as part of the main quest, and I realised I was going to have to do something drastic to avoid having the exact same Underworks scene happen twice.

Addhiranirr would hate to cheat you.

Iriel's Sugar Period meant that I ended up writing a multitude of different Khajiit characters, in these early chapters. Based on ingame dialogue, Khajiiti speech patterns vary, with some using regular first person "I/me/my/etc" for themselves. Others use third person, but also with variation as to whether they referred to themselves with their names, or as "this one". It also varies whether they say "you", or use third person in place of second, as well.

For now, I was mostly trying to imitate the ingame dialogue of whichever character I was writing, but later I speculated more about what the different uses of grammar implied, in Khajiiti culture.

Addhiranirr is a quest NPC, so she has a fair amount of canon dialogue, where her personality really comes across - I can't take credit for her! She's very dry and funny, and I tried to write her in keeping with that.

He found the long-dead corpse of an elf, lying half-submerged in filth.

The quest to find Moroni Uvelas' husband actually has him as a live corprus stalker that the player has to kill, but I let Iriel off easy, for once...

“I did kill her, don’t you believe me? She… she attacked me, and I couldn’t get away, I… I… pushed fire into her… until she… she…”

..because I wanted killing the Sixth House Cultist to be the traumatic bit, instead. Because it gives Iriel a stronger reason to flee Vivec.

Please judge me for the thing I'm doing here of skipping over a fight scene, and moving right to a conversation about it, instead. This is incredibly lazy of me, but I wasn't trying to do hard things, yet. Later, I would read writing advice about how fight scenes worked, and make more effort in that direction, but not for a while, yet.

I'm with Iriel, here, by the way: the random canalworks house with the Sixth House cultists in it is fucking horrifying, and I would not want to stay anywhere near it. You think it's gonna be just another of the endless little slum-dwellings you're churning through for valuables, but the second you go in, it's just RED and WRONG and UGH and it only makes it worse that nobody else around seems to know or care! I hate it so much, it's so good.

(x)

He had two choices, as he saw them. He could stay in Vivec, take Dro'Zaymar’s advice and kick moon sugar.

Is Iriel right that he had a choice, here? Would he really have fixed his life up and quit drugs, if only he hadn't been startled by a cultist? No, of course not. Even if sheer lack of sugar access forced him clean for a while, it wouldn't have lasted, and might in itself have pushed him towards Balmora, soon enough. He'd still have gone via the Mages Guild, since guild teleportation is the easiest way. Maybe he'd tell himself he was joining the Mages Guild and transferring to the Balmora branch for career reasons, when really, he just knew he could get a supply there.

“This one knows. He just wishes for Iriel to take care of himself.” The Khajiiti man leaned forwards, and licked Ire’s cheek gently.

Later, Iriel says of Dro'Zaymar: "I wanted to thank him for being the first person I encountered in Morrowind who was simply, unselfishly, kind to me. He had no reason to be, and I did nothing but disappoint him, but he was."

Iriel isn't much used to people being kind to him without some ulterior motive, so it takes a while for him to recognise Dro'Zaymar's behaviour for what it was. Ire knows that leveraging pathetic expressions might sometimes work to gain a specific favour, but in his experience, it doesn't result in long-term benefits. Usually, what happens is people find his weakness distasteful, and use it against him. If they speak softly to him, then, like Socucius in the Census Office, it's only because they're trying to manipulate him into agreeing to something against his interests.

For the record, despite the Khajiiti equivalent of a kiss on the cheek, I don't think Dro'Zaymar's intentions towards Ire were ever anything but platonic, which was part of what Iriel found so confusing. Perhaps his awkward pass was an attempt to drag the Khajiit's otherwise unfathomable toleration of him into an intelligible framework.

Ire's not very good with kindness, either giving or receiving. It's so bound up with vulnerability, weakness, pity... shame, again. This obviously has terrible consequences for his relationships with other people, and his struggle to navigate these issues takes up a lot of the fic. If Dro'Zaymar is Ire's first experience of an interpersonal relationship since leaving jail, then the most salient thing about it is that he doesn't even understand what it was, until months afterwards. The idea that you might see someone in pain, and want to help them without simultaneously despising them for needing it? This does not, at the time, compute.

On to Chapter 8, and the Mages Guild.

A grey-haired Dunmeri woman sized Iriel up critically

Altmeri privilege at work! Because nothing else explains how Iriel still manages to come across as someone who might be good at magic, despite his current... everything else about him.

While any Morrowind player character can practice spells and quickly improve their magical skills, we have to assume for our narrative sanity that magical power is not something most people have access to without great natural skill, and/or years of dedicated training. Altmer, being innately sensitive to it, and more easily able to store magical power, have it easier than most.

“Hello, my dear,” she said brightly. “If you don’t mind my saying so, you strike me as someone with magical interests.

The Vvardenfell Mages Guild is kind of a scam, right? A protection racket - sign up and pay them guild dues, in return for... not being killed by the Mages Guild for unsanctioned magery? Hard to say how much of it is just Ranis Athrys being a homicidal maniac, though. @ansu-gurleht wrote a summary of their bullshit, and I find it all a bit suspicious. Certainly, Iriel shouldn't be flattered by their approach, though he's desperate enough for scholarly validation to fall for it a little. Even through the haze of multifaceted terror and panic he's currently struggling through.

Iriel remembers magical academia, with all its bluffing and power-plays, he's just in no state to succeed at it, and shouldn't be trying. A real Dwemeri scholar would eat him alive. Fortunately, Trebonius knows no more about anything than he does. But let me be clear - Iriel knows barely anything about the Dwemer, or much of anything beyond certain specific, mostly magical, topics. He's desperate for intellectual validation, so he's trying to drag his academic vocabulary out of storage to pretend he can hold a conversation, but at this point, it's a paper-thin act. It's not just the drugs, either. Technically, Iriel is a drop-out, who has never actually completed the first year of any university course. He doesn't even know anything about mushrooms, except they look cool and he likes them.

Six forms and declarations later

You can sign up, but you can never leave! You have to pay guild dues for the rest of your life, or suffer Ranis sending assassin apprentices after you! Getting expelled might actually be the only escape option.

Please don't let him want to do that awful hand shaking thing Imperials do

I cannot imagine it's normal in Altmeri society to just TOUCH people. With your ACTUAL SKIN.

try to look normal

Iriel looking normal.

“Enthusiasm! Wonderful. Well, let’s see. Hmm… Find out about the disappearance of the Dwarves. There’s a fine job for a young Associate, eh?”

ansu-gerlecht speculates that Trebonius may not actually be as stupid as he seems, which is a fun idea, but if so, it's a very good act. Giving his underlings hilariously impossible tasks would be fantastic way to troll them, though. It's not just the player - if you talk to other mages, they'll tell you he has them learning the language of the silt striders, attaching an army of dreugh to the Foreign Quarter, digging tunnels to the mainland or building a new Anumidium.

It's possible to complete Trebonius' task, and find out what happened to the Dwemer. Iriel doesn't care one way or the other, just yet. He only wants to get out of Vivec and find a skooma connection. He's not a scholar of the Dwemer, but that's soon going to change. Something about it will end up hooking him. Because it's a personal question, for him - how does a whole race just vanish?

Iriel knows how to make himself vanish, but it's a temporary state, and at the end of the day, it's an illusion. He's still there. How do you disappear completely?

next: 9: sanctuary & 10: outside previous: 5: slide & 6: trap

[hostilemuppet]

Art (tdau) imitates life (whatever the fuck's going on presently)

Tdau subplot where Floyd gets #cancelled for not hating mpreg

[mlybrnte]

Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov (Book Review)

What no one tells you about reading Lolita is that there is an initial visceral shock to encountering a very fucked up story. And then years later, you read it again in full attention and skill without realizing that so much tears have run out of you. 

Me at 15: “this is horrific.”

Me at 22: “sad, sad, sad.”

I found myself weeping the moment I woke up from a nap induced by the memory of Nabokov’s novel. Lolita is told from the perspective of the pedophile himself, Humbert Humbert. What I respect so much from Nabokov is that no matter how, in minute subtle ways, we get a glimpse of victim Dolores Haze’s mind, a triumphant reader is able to grasp the whole spectrum of her childhood. How her rebellious streak is a scream of help, her calculating participation in Humbert’s crime is an attempt to get away from him, that she, even in her young age, is able to discern and choose a miserable life as opposed to being with him. And contrary to popular opinion, Humbert was less manipulative. Dolores hated his guts, and had seen through his actions and words. And Nabokov presents Humbert only as a manipulator of a story rather than his own life. He is a terrible, pathetic, egoistic white man who believes he is not like other pedophiles by associating the beauty of his victim akin to Botticelli’s Venus. Lolita wasn’t groomed because Humbert was easily a charming man, she was groomed because she had nowhere else to go. And of course, who would dehumanize a 12-year old for not having enough agency to get away? 

What is so incredibly impressive in Nabokov’s approach that I believe some authors should imitate is depicting a crime without making it pornographic. For a book that is basically a pedophile’s account, the scenes were not explicit or sensual. But since he aimed to write from the point of view of a man who finds this as aesthetically pleasing, the narrative is obscured in flowery language and metaphor.  At one point, I could not gather whether he had already done it because of his attempts to pacify the reader with impressive writing. Even sickening was arguing that there was nothing wrong after all since Lolita was no longer a virgin.

At the very core, Lolita is a horror story. I am quite appalled at the common general belief that it is a love story; that at some point, Humbert did love his little girl. ‘The tragedy lies in their unrequited romance.’ Nabokov would’ve risen from the grave. I would argue that, yes, while the rape scenes were subtext, and the author did not attempt to exhaust anatomical details,  (actually, no matter how embellished a rape scene is with highbrow vocabulary and figures of speech, it’s an issue of skill for not arriving at the conclusion that he raped her, or perhaps a denial of one’s own true mental compass.) one paragraph from the novel struck me as a very obvious admission of guilt:

“Alas, I was unable to transcend the simple human fact that whatever spiritual solace I might find, whatever lithophanic eternities might be provided for me, nothing could make my Lolita forget the foul lust I had inflicted upon her. Unless it can be proven to me — to me as I am now, today, with my heart and by beard, and my putrefaction — that in the infinite run it does not matter a jot that a North American girl-child named Dolores Haze had been deprived of her childhood by a maniac, unless this can be proven (and if it can, then life is a joke), I see nothing for the treatment of my misery but the melancholy and very local palliative of articulate art.”

Humbert himself acknowledges that to otherwise admit he had ruined Lolita’s life is a joke. He would go to hell in any religion because of the foul lust he had inflicted upon her. And no being could prove to him that he did not deprive her of a childhood. No subtext needed. No desire for hints. So many paragraphs are evidence alone. Nabokov never painted Humbert in a color different from a monster. Many times he was clearly written like a pathetic loser who died as miserable as he was living. I believe Humbert’s account to have someone sympathize with him is in earnest, a hypocritical and narcissistic attempt to not hold himself fully accountable. And to point a finger at the author for being a ‘creep’ because of his depiction of abuse is quite ridiculous. Reading the book carefully would equip you with a crystal clear conclusion that depiction is not always endorsement. So to arrive at romanticizing the story, Nabokov does a good job of holding up a mirror to show confirmation that abuse can be in the form of romantic prose, that we lack the ability to set apart roses from blood. 

This is perhaps one of the saddest books I have ever read. I hope all Dolores Hazes in the world find peace and happiness. 

[hustlemeanokay]

Sometimes, I genuinely worry about the, what is it - Generation Z? Those who are about aged 20 or so. A lot of fic writers are in this age range, or at least they write like it/their concept of experiences read like it. (Nothing wrong with that at all, just gives off that vibe.) That's not the worrisome part. Not even the rise in CNC or dom/sub or like degradation kinks or anything like that. Those aren't worrisome - whatever tickles your pickle. What is worrisome, that I often see, is the loop around. I'll explain.

Character A (often male) will be a total and complete fuck-head; an asshole of epic proportions and Character B (often female or "reader") will get pissed about something and tell Character A to get fucked, rightfully so. OR Character A just yells at Character B for something because Character A is so "damaged" and they were pushed "too far" or something and Character B gets their feelings hurt, again - rightfully so. Anyway - so this event happens. Character A will often storm out or leave or something. And Character B will be angry/devastated/crying or whatever.

And okay, drama - I get it. But the issue that happens, the worrisome part... is that they will write Character B looping back around in their head and somehow believing that the whole thing really was their fault? Like "oh I shouldn't have pushed him that far" or "I really was being a bitch that day" or something and then Character B will completely take the blame for the whole thing and will be the one to apologize to Character A. And I'm always left sitting there just blinking at the screen. Because... that's not okay. That's really not okay. That's the loop around.

And I see this a lot. From a lot of different writers. And I genuinely hope that they know... that this is not okay in real life. Because art imitates life. We write about what we know and what we see and experience. And... this is not okay. Sometimes, yes - we can be a bitch and push buttons on purpose (male, fem, non-binary doesn't matter, I use bitch as a descriptive word) but we are responsible for our own actions. Not anyone else's. How someone reacts is their responsibility. While you can totally apologize for your behavior, you absolutely do not take all the blame if their response was to scream at you and storm out, making you think your entire relationship was over. Because keeping someone on edge like that? Pulling the rug out from under them and creating an environment with zero security? That's emotional abuse. Big time.

Over-reacting and loosing one's temper - not okay. Especially when you should be able to be a fucking adult and handle the situation while keeping in mind that you are still talking to the person you supposedly love. That's why things like name calling and shit are absolutely not okay, even in arguments - because they're still talking to their fucking partner. And if their anger has made them forget that? Or if they somehow think it's okay to call their partner names or say things specifically to hurt them? Then they are the asshole in the situation. If they're always threatening to leave or always kicking you out? That's fucking abuse, too.

So while I understand that there are kinks that revolve around degradation (not my bag but hey whatever) - there is a difference between playtime and real time. And when it's not playtime, that shit is not okay. And I really, really hope that these writers know that. Because seeing "reader" or Character B systematically, across multiple fics, multiple writers, take the blame for Character A's shitty behavior? It's worrisome.

[thegeminisage]

IT is time for. a ds9 update. last night* we did "babel." *time changed because i typed it up p late lol

babel:

i see now why everyone says o'brien suffers more than jesus. i mean, i'm sure this is just the tip of the iceberg, but the first section of this episode was just o'brien's terrible horrible no good very bad day

dax like damn i love being a hot woman i get so much attention. good for you queen but also i did roll my eyes a little. this and the crack about human women doing teaching in the last episode...still, it's WAAAYYYY better than tng, and even better than tos, so i can't complain too much

there was a LITTLE technobabble in this episode but again, i forgive them - it was otherwise strong so i'm quite willing to extend the benefit of the doubt for small sins lol

this episode being about an airborne virus really did me in. we had both the guy responsible for being a superspreader because he wanted people to eat at his restaurant and the guy who HAS to break quarantine he NEEDS to even if it means blowing up the whole space station. life imitates art. this show is thirty fucking years old

SO much pressure on kira this episode sisko was like you have 12 hours to figure this out or people start dying and then she just. did. she also continues to smile when angry which i think means i have to marry her. however, to Me, she and dax look identical...........if it weren't for dax's face markings and uniform differences i wouldn't be able to tell them apart lol

i really really really REALLY liked whatever odo and quark had going on in this episode. i feel like odo visited his little bar to kick him while he was down and then quark showed up to ops to kick ODO while HE was down and then the beaming thing where he's never beamed anybody before and would probably be thrilled if he vaporized odo AND YET counted down the second in increasing alarm. really good. i really really REALLY like odo

i love also that he was SO GRUMPY while saving that guy's life. like he coulda just left him in there and given himself more time, it was all his fault anyway, but he saved him, and then he complained about it the entire time. absolute king. that's true bones energy if you ask me

[rubiatinctorum]

I think it's one thing to say, AI is a tool, if you use it, use it to enhance what you're already doing, but AI 'art' is rayon to me. It masquerades as one thing, and might be composed of it in part (art)(natural material). So someone can say, it's artistic, for the visual products, and it's semi-natural, for the rayon garments. But that only appeals to human desires for categorization. For new v. old, for natural v. artificial, for human-made v. machine made. It appeals to what we can argue is or is not authentic, and frankly, I don't think that's the point.

But, like rayon, one of the core issues isn't what it's used to make, or what its life cycle is like beyond its production specifically. It's how it's made. It's which people are harmed by its making, and how (one of these is obviously more physically harmful than the other, with long term health consequences, but you understand the metaphor, yes?). They're products, whether image/words or textile, that were made by causing harm to one group of people to get convenient commodities for others.

Saying "use it the right way" doesn't eliminate the process that led to the creation of it. "Use it the right way" when it has a trail of violations that led to it being available to you. There's fast fashion and fast furniture, and now there's fast aesthetics. You can have whatever you want to look at for cheap or free, whenever you want, shh don't ask too many questions about the process of making it, consumer.

(Never mind what happens when people use AI 'art' generators the wrong way, in ways designed actively to harm others or spread misinformation. You know, the apps made to 'undress' people and all that... Let's assume an optimistic use of it, to lend the people saying to use it the right way a bit of rope)

Whether we call it a tool or call it a grift-machine, or call it art or aesthetics or drivel or whatever else, machine generated images, writing, voices, created without the consent of the people whose work and/or likeness was scraped is still something built on the backs of people who were stolen from. I appreciate that some people can be optimistic that AI products won't be as detrimental long term to artists as it can seem, but that doesn't account for the damage that has already been done. You are holding your rayon garment. You might be able to look past how plasticky and strange it feels, how uncannily it imitates the silk it was made to resemble. You don't see what's floating in the river near the factory.

(A difference here is, do you know how fucking hard it can be in a lot of the stores to find something that's not rayon or one of the plastics to wear? I don't know where you are, but here, you're left with some cotton and like, maybe a few clothes from the thrift store — good luck finding them in there — and a half a rack of a department store to wear. Shit man, at least with art you have so many other options an search engine search away, or even like, a museum or something. I understand people electing to wear rayon than I do using AI to create an image!)