#arospec asks

[demiro-allosexual-culture-is]

10 and 18 for the arospec ask game if it isn’t too late?

10. Probably what frustrates me the most about amatonormativity is that monogamy and having children is expected? I think personally I am way more frustrated by aros misusing the term to call aplatonics who like romance "amatonormative" and hate on people for not prioritising friendship and family(Im extremely disgusted by both and any nonrose things so I must be these aros' nightmares or something lol), and Im very frustrated by platonormativity. I like romance sometimes, and I'm from a romance negative culture that frowns on romance and emphasizes arranged marriage instead, and that is something I want to avoid. Romance, however, under the right conditions I do want to engage in.

And I prioritise my sexual and romantic-sexual partners over everyone else, I don't want any other close relationships at all and of course Id value my partners and myself over other people. Thats just how I function. If I didn't have partners, I would prioritise myself over other people mainly. I can't say I feel very impacted by amatonormativity just because Im arospec, but again Im not living in America right now so obviously the way it is in my culture varies greatly from a theory created in the context of the western world.

But about the norms in my culture, I feel like its that people wouldn't understand my romantic-sexual or sexual relationships because its w other headmates in my system, so Id appear single since we aren't open about being plural irl. Some of my peers may think its weird that Im aro, bc they may think queerness is weird. But a lot of them are very careful about romance because of romance negativity and how their family may not approve (yes, even 'cis straight passing' romance), yet expect people to feel romantic attraction. Some of them just seem to resign themself to the idea of being married off in an arranged marriage because thats what their parents want. Maybe some genuinely want that for themself, Im not exactly sure? but I don't want that, and I have partners already.

Basically I will never relate to wanting arranged marriage, and the way I approach romance is not traditional bc Im demiromantic allosexual and nonfriending aplatonic(I can't perform friendship, which is expected as a precursor to romance), and polyamorous/polyerosous. I feel like because the opposite is expected, the way I require a sexual relationship to even feel romantic attraction and a desire to be in a romantic relationship may be frowned upon due to sex negativity and amatonormativity in general, and bc that deviates from the arranged marriage norm where I live. And I don't want to raise kids (not even as a single parent or coparent), and thats a 'step' often expected in romance and marriage, although my current partners don't particularly require that in a relationship. And all that is what I feel makes amatonormativity or an equivalent to it, impact me in my culture.

I think that either amatonormativity should be broadened to include similar enforcement of societal norms that aren't covered by just talking about white european or american norms, or other terms should be coined to refer to this. I feel like either ppl online are narrowing the scope of what amatonormativity includes, or they are being overly eurocentric and americentric about it. I feel the way Elizabeth Brake's theory is explained definitely doesn't fully explain the attitudes in my culture about romance and marriage. And that is very likely because it was formed in a western context.

18. I only ship romantic-sexual and sexual ships. I can't say Im really invested in reading about romance aspects but more so the attraction? I relate to feeling romantic and sexual attraction which is probably why I ship those ships. Im kind of repulsed by nonsexual-in-intent ships that are romantic so I never ship them. I avoid fiction where the romance is stated to have no sexual attraction bc it repulses me. Sometimes I get really bored of a ship once it becomes canon, like theres no more suspense or anticipation I guess? (example - Lumity in the owl house). I don't like slow burn because its extremely boring and often involves friendship, which Im repulsed by.

I think sometimes I may ship characters or focus on shipping just because it makes me feel sick to think about friendship, even in media. Considering the characters as romantically or sexually involved is not repulsion inducing so I prefer it. I also hate ships where ppl write them as telling each other they are friends as well as partners, or friends to lovers bc ew (plato repulsed).

Either way the main type of shipping I prefer is sexual self shipping because I have fictional sexual crushes(I never feel romantic attraction to fictional characters) I ship myself with, sometimes also fluff or romance-coded self ship content that I feel like I can interpret as having sexual attraction as the intent. I may also avoid canon or fanon ships of characters I have crushes on, if it causes me to feel jealous.

arospec ask game :

[a-rabbit-obsessed-queer]

Aspec men deserve much more respect and recognition in the aspec community than they receive. They often face a different form of aphobia specific to them ("men are naturally sexual they can't be ace" "all men are unromantic that's not unique") this rhetoric is spouted by many, even members of our own community and I hope for a day where that is no longer the case. As an ace and demiro woman (demigirl but that's beside the point) I want to encourage folks to take the time to give the aspec men in their lives support and to the aspec men reading, you are who you say you are no matter what people say and you deserve the world. I'm sorry for the ways in which toxic masculinity has harmed you. You are a valued member of the aspec community and the queer community as a whole. No ace or aro person is broken and neither are you. I'm sorry if anyone has ever told you otherwise.

[peach-pot]

(if you don’t mind reblogging this post, that would be groovy ^_^)

[knifearo]

peace and aromanticism on planet earth

peace and aromanticism on planet earth!!!!!! :D

[stormandsparks]

Poll

(because of something my sister told me and I’m confused so)

*but it’s fine as a word/thing for others to call themselves

Oh yeah and pls reblog for sample size!

Edit: uhhhh so votes have more than doubled in the last like hour and a half??? Thanks @fuckyeahasexual (i think) 0-0

[aroace-ed]

having a platonic crush is so awful. why am i so infatuated with you. why does this never truly fade. every single time, i will come when you call. i'd walk to the ends of the earth for you. for nearly everyone i've felt like this towards, i will do the same. i want to tell you all the little things about myself. i want to hold your hand and go on fun little "couple" dates. i want to make things for you. i want to put my art onto something for you to have, so that a piece of my soul is yours. i want to be yours in the least romantic way possible.

[aspecmemesdaily]

Source | Day 146

[pokimoko]

If it's not too much to ask, could you draw a moth with the aromantic flag or with aromantic colors? Sorry, you probably have gotten quite a few Asks about drawing ^^'

An aro(moth)mantic critter for you :D

[aaa-battery-not-rechargeable]

honestly something ive noticed is that when queer people make jokes like "im too gay for this" or "ew straight romance" other queer people get it and agree. but when an aro/ace person makes the same kinda jokes about their aro/aceness and allo people, suddenly we're the bad guys

THIS OMG thank you for articulating it

[vvanillavveins]

Look, i just wanna skip straight to the "old married couple" phase without the decades of uncomfortable traditional romance that would usually come before that part, okay?

[shmaroace]

asexuality and aromanticism are very different identities that mean very different things. asexuals and aromantics can also share a number of overlapping experiences. these things can coexist.

[hello-im-queer]

I asked my alloallo friend (maybe alloro and ace they don't know rlly) why people cheat on their partners.

They said something along the lines of 'well they get bored but still love their partner but want to try something new cuz the spark from the start of the relationship isn't there anymore. They just wanna try somebody else to figure out if they still love their partner'

Like

Huh???

Just talk???? Why would you risk that there's a person who loves you so much will hate you because you did it with another person? If they'd talk, there's maybe a bit of hurt, yes, but it's all morally okay you know? Communicate!!!! If you don't communicate how would your partner know that you're getting bored and think abt other people? Like that's so fucked up

Aroace conclusion: just talk or break up ffs

[skull-turtle]

for the LAST TIME, what does "having a crush" even mean

[canonically47]

sick of the phrase "more than friends" because it really should be "something other than friends"

REAL REAL REAL REAL REAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[knifearo]

[papier-ciseaux]

This aromantic week, I have to deal with the fact that one of my best friends has asked me out, despite the fact that they know I'm aromantic. They are giving me the time to think it over (I already know my answer I just want to be careful with their heart), but what do you think the best way to go about making sure everyone you care about knows you are aromantic and don't do romance is? I'd really like to make this clear to all of my friends, but I'm not sure what the best way to come out would be so that it would stick in their minds.

Any ideas, silly or serious, would be nice :-)

It's a tricky situation you're in! And with little details, I can't do that much to help. I hope you'll be able to work it out!