#aro friendship

[kitsu-katsu]

Very much personal posting but other aros might relate

I love being aro, it's extremely cool, it's a big part of who I am and love it

BUT, that fact does nothing to alleviate the resentment I end up feeling for the best friends who say they'll always be there for you and "oh, we'll all grow old together, we'll be telling shitty jokes to each other at a nursing home at some point", only to immediately show you that they will in fact always prioritize a romantic pursuit by bending over backwards to have everything be about a new love interest they met less than a week ago

It feels shitty

In my case, some of my best friends live in a different city hours away from mine, so we can rarely hang out in person anymore, and they also have huge anxiety problems, so they haven't visited my city at all, it's always me going and telling them "I'm all yours when there, we have to go out!" And so many times we don't even get that as plans fail so easily. And plans have been made for them to visit the other way around, where us the remaining 3 people of the friend group are. But it's always a faraway hypothetical that never goes anywhere. "Some summer", "over spring break", "It'll happen I swear".

These two friends in the other city each got romantically interested in some guy

Friend A, who fails to meet our plans to go out 95% of the time, somehow managed to always have the perfect hole in their schedule to go out at least twice a week for a month and a half with their romantic prospect

Friend B, who's been saying they have to visit our city at some point but hasn't because of anxiety or being busy or financial problems, met a guy less than a week ago who lives in yet another city that's just as far away as mine is from my friend's city, but in less than a week they've already made plans to go on a trip to their crush's city to see them more and go out

And it SUCKS

Because you are understanding with them

Of course it's hard to go out, we've all got different responsibilities and different mental health issues and different money issues and such

But after being best friends for almost a decade and seeing them suddenly be completely able to do in a day what they fervently insisted they couldn't do with you in a year, it's.... Maddening

I'm not jealous of their partners because they have their romantic attention. I'm envious of the time they can clearly manage to give someone they've barely met but is obviously immediately more important until the relationship implodes than I am having been there for them for nearly a decade

And it means that when the relationship fails and we're back to the status quo, I have to sit there and believe them that it is still literally impossible to go out for more than 2 hours every 4 months. I have to sit with the fact that as soon as some other pretty person catches their eye, "we're all gonna grow old together" becomes nothing but a passing joke

It's a huge blow

[ale-arro]

hey black stripe for romantic individuals who go against the traditional culture of romance is pretty based actually. i wish we still talked about that

[mostly-funnytwittertweets]

[jerich0two]

Quick sketch for aro awareness week! Very much enjoying all the Alastor redesigns with ponytails I've been seeing, so I decided to give him one too! Rosie is SO much easier to draw than he is ... lordie

[saebaragi]

"literally what would be the platonic explanation for this?" are you sure you're ready for that conversation?

[stabbydragon]

What I really want as an alloplatonic aro is to have a friendship that is treated like a romantic relationship without anyone questioning it. Like I want someone’s family to know me so well that we’re both invited to each other’s family events the same way a spouse would be invited. I want to be the plus one to every event. I just need a platonic relationship that holds the same weight as a monogamous marriage

[ink-stains-and-constellations]

Why are there not, like... platonic x reader fics. Like, I don't wanna date these characters, I just want to hang out with them and crack jokes and banter and get takeaway and play videogames and maybe even hug and bop them on the head and just have affectionate platonic physical contact??? I want to read a fic about being friends with them, and yet all I can find is romantic reader insert fics.

[mossy-aro]

I need all of you to look at the new Marcus Pork merch drop right NOW

[tesco-finest-aromantics]

please i'm begging you think about aplatonic people when you make a post about aro issues. not all of us care about friends. we can prioritise other relationships even if we've deconstructed amatonormativity because friendship is just not important to some people. being aro doesn't make me inherently care more about friendship

[qwerty-queer]

friendship

[solvynessa-solvynessin]

friend: I'm cold

me: here's my jacket

friend: I'm cold

me: here's my hoodie

friend: I'm cold

me: here's a hug

[kittycathat]

how about "the love of my life" but in a nonromantic way

[neverquiteeden]

Waking up every day looking in the mirror and repeating "my friends will not abandon me for romantic relationships, my friends value me in their lives, I do not need to go through anticipatory grief like this, shutting myself out before they abandon me is not a valid strategy, it is better to have lived and loved and lost than to isolate myself out of this expectation".

[deadaluschild]

I've always loved my friends immensely, I've always put so much effort into my friendships that I've never felt the need for a romantic partner. I've always wanted to have a special bond tho, I want to be someone's first choice "I would look for you in a room full of people".

Now I'm so jealous of those friends who are in a relationship two in particular, because, if you find all this time for them, why can't you find it for me? I'm aware of my delusion, I know they don't consider me as important as their partner, but I swear I would drop anything for you, as you are the love of my life, even if we just sit in silence and you don't think of me as often as I think of you, I would peel thousands of oranges for you, even though I'm allergic.

[fantasticgothicpeachsludge]

“he's like a brother to me”...”he's my best friend”....

[rancid-men-stimboards]

A stimboard