#armin grew up broke and remains broke

[astutior]

Armin frowns over Jean's shoulder at the listing on the computer screen. Sure, he'd love a new console, but not for that price. Just thinking about dropping so much money makes him a little queasy.

"You're assuming that post is legitimate. It could easily be a scam."

"Then it's a good thing I got a lot of money, ain't it? C'mon, Blondie, it's a PS5. Everybody wants one. You want one. I can put a sweet bid down, have it by Monday."

[eternal-armin]

chandelier.

armin is approached by a merman after spending days studying the sea. 1,390 words.

the light of the gas lamp was steadily being outgrown by the light of the sun. surrounded by papers and books, crumpled-up notes containing theories, armin had spent the entire night excited and energetic about his theories and research and observations. and now he was pleasantly tired, ready to sleep surrounded by his heart and soul in writing. but first, he put aside the pens and papers in his lap, sat comfortably, and watched the waves glitter as the sun came up. his second favorite thing in the entire world had to be the sunrise on the water. the gentle waves, the slight smell of saltwater, the warmth of the sun on his face, there couldn’t be any better feeling. something shifted under the waves. armin could see something there, displacing the water over its head. his eyes widened.

he blinked hard, and it disappeared. “okay. okay. it was just a hallucination. you’re just exhausted, and you’re seeing things. that’s all.” armin succeeded at comforting himself. brushing aside the remaining bit of uneasiness, he allowed himself to relax, and watch the sight he adored so much. but armin’s enjoyment of the natural beauty was disturbed. once again, he saw that something shift under the waves. this time it was closer. perhaps it was a lack of fear after all he’d gone through, or perhaps stupidity from a lack of sleep, but armin found himself standing up to go and check out the thing for himself. barefoot on the slightly cool sand, he took cautious step after cautious step toward the midnight tides. he was not nearly as scared as he would’ve been had he slept. it was oddly freeing. the water was chilled and icy, not yet warmed by the sun, when it washed over his feet. armin let out a tight breath at the feeling, and yet it did not stop his advance. what did was when the something got even closer. he yelped at the sight, stumbling back, falling into the sand bank. it was not nearly as cushioning as he hoped. groaning in pain, armin muttered many “ow”s, eyes squeezed shut. “damnit… why would you get so scared, idiot,” he muttered sharply at himself, propping himself up on his left hand, his right rubbing the part of his back aching from the idiotic fall. he froze mid-sentence, staring ahead into the waves, and at the eyes staring back.

“oh god, oh god,” armin squeaked, pushing himself back and away from the face in the waves. all of a sudden, he stopped, peering- cautiously- at the person in the water. no, no it wasn’t a person. its shoulders rose and fell slightly, so it was breathing underwater. whatever it was, it stayed there, as if it knew how scared armin was. there was no hatred in its eyes. perhaps just… curiosity. not letting down his guard too much, he furrowed his brow in thought. “what are you…” he asked, mostly to himself. as if in response to his question, the figure in the waves broke the water above it. it had the face of a person, the torso of a person, the arms of a person, the hands of a person, resting on the sand. but that torso faded into gorgeous, shining scales that glittered in the water. “oh. ohhhh,” armin’s eyes widened, but this time, out of excitement more than anything. “y-you’re a mermaid! well, merman, i think. you look like a boy. a-are you a… a merman? is that what you’re called?” he stumbled over his excited words, a tiny smile twitching at the corners of his lips. the creature nodded. the excitement bubbling inside armin just grew stronger. “y-you’re real! oh, by the walls, you’re real! i’ve read about you, but i- i thought those were just fairy tales! but you’re real!” armin gushed, laughing through his words, not knowing how else to release some of the pure glee he was feeling. the merman backened away slightly, and armin’s smile fell. “o-oh, i’m sorry. i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to be so loud. i’m just really excited, uhm…” he cleared his throat, cheeks flushing red in slight embarassment. “what’s your name? do you have a name?” the merman puzzled for a moment. “[y/n].” armin nodded slightly. “[y/n]...” he echoed, admiring how it sounded and how it felt. “that’s a really pretty name. it fits you.” [y/n] smiled bashfully at the compliment. “i’m armin. armin arlert. it’s not as nice a name as yours, i know. but it’s nice to meet you, [y/n]. i’m sorry for scaring you earlier.” he chuckled quietly, still rather embarassed. “pretty,” you said. armin had the same reaction you did, cheeks gently dusted red, bashfully glancing away for a moment. he didn’t know if you were referencing his name or him, but at the very least, the look in your eyes told him you weren’t just echoing the words as he had done your name. he stumbled over his words for a second, wondering which question to ask first. “how many of you are there? i-i mean you’ve been documented multiple so… many people must have seen you.” “few.” you said, your voice a little quieter than it had once been. a spark of worry took over his expression. “hunters. human hunters.” armin’s shoulders slouched. “i-i’m so sorry, [y/n].” he did not ask any further questions on that topic, even though he yearned to. he feared that, if he crossed a cultural line he could not see, you would disappear. and perhaps never return. “if… if humans were—are—hunting you, why did you come up to me? you would be risking your life.” you shrugged. armin was puzzled by the little gesture. did that mean you didn’t care if your life was on the line? that you didn’t know why you did it? or perhaps you knew that he wouldn’t hurt you, somehow? he did not respond, did not say anything, waiting for you to reveal further context. and you did. “armin respects water.” was your simple addition. while it kind of answered his question, it also just brought up more. “what… what do you mean?” “armin looks. writes. admires water.” with your limited knowledge of his language from overhearing ship crews, you tried to make your statement clearer. your awkward pronunciation was strangely charming. “like [y/n]. like mers.” armin’s expression softened. “you felt safe coming up to me… because i respect the water? like you do? like your people do?” he asked, his voice genuine, searching only for clarification. your simple nod gave him all the clarification he needed. he returned your nod and you smiled slightly at the reached understanding. “so… [y/n], where do you live in the ocean? in those stories

i thought that they always stuck to the depths.” your brow stitched together slightly. “depths.” you nodded. “live in depths.” “why are you here, then? is your family worried? do they know where you are?” your silence spoke volumes. you did not look at him. and you did not have to speak of your family for armin to know that you longer had one. “here for… c-curious,” the words were unsteady as you spoke them, or at least more than they had been. they simply felt incorrect, but you had no clue what to alter for them to be correct. “you’re here because you’re curious?” you nodded quickly, smiling slightly. “man-curious.” a vague sense of surprise washed over armin’s expression. not only did you want to learn about humans, you felt safe coming up to him. as much as he didn’t feel like the best candidate for you to learn from, he was rather happy you didn’t go to anyone else. god knows what would have happened. “i-i can try to teach you about humans. about our culture and everything. i don’t think i’ll be the best teacher, though.” he laughed weakly, trying to disguise how unsure he was. “thank you, armin.” that was the fullest sentence you had yet to speak. “can i… ask something in return?” you cocked your head. seeing that you understood the words, he went on to ask his favor. “can you teach me about, uhm… your people? and the ocean?” you smiled softly. “yes.” armin positively beamed. “g-great!”

[emeren]

speed racer- eren jaeger

pairing: eren jaeger x fem!reader 

word count: 6k

content warnings: nsfw, smut, 18+, smoking, degradation, overstimulation, breeding (w/o baby talk) 

notes: 100% inspired by the official art, like mmm yes please. also i know absolutely nothing about how car racing works, but that’s not important. this is unedited because my brain turned to mush writing it. enjoy!! <3

SUMMARY: eren’s a semi-professional car racer, who has a tumultuous friendship with the reader. after losing a race, eren sets out to win something else in his life, much to the reader’s surprise. 

“took you long enough!” sasha called out, holding her hand above her eyes in an attempt to block out the bright sun. you dished her a smile, weaving your way through the throngs of people in the stands, attempting not to step on anyone. your eyes briefly flitted to the track, the assistants distantly getting their cars ready. they were hardly visible from here; merely faceless figures idling around. you heaved out a sigh as you reached sasha, the brunette gingerly patting the spot next to her. 

“you couldn’t have gotten better seats, sash?” you asked as you sat down, pushing your sunglasses on top of your head. sasha waved her large bag of popcorn in front of your face, an exasperated expression on her features. 

“the line was long, and what’s a race without popcorn?” she grinned, offering you the bag. you rolled your eyes but took a fistful of the bright yellow snack nonetheless. “plus, if you really wanted that good of seats, you would’ve come early yourself.” 

“i did come here early,” you retorted, your voice muffled by the popcorn. sasha raised a questioning brow, her elbow nudging you in the side. 

“getting here early just so you can poke around the racer’s quarters is not the same thing,” she singsonged, a girlish smirk on her face. you scoffed, turning away from her as you felt heat race to your cheeks. “c’mon, everyone knows you and eren are totally into each other. i don’t understand why you guys don’t just go for it.” 

“i wasn’t poking around, and i am not into eren,” you said, shifting uncomfortably as the words left your mouth. it was true, to some degree. the two of you had been friends in high school, back when eren was just some skinny kid with anger issues. now he was a semi-professional racer, and the rivalry between the two of you was palpable, to say the least.

you’d been in the same friend group and for some reason eren just loved to pick on you whenever he got the chance. you suspected it had something to do with his repressed daddy issues or whatever, and he’d known mikasa and armin far too long to be so catty with them. initially they were just playful taunts, but as you got older, they started to become more personal. with age came your own unchecked need to banter and argue with him. 

somewhere along the way the arguments turned to sexual tension. a sexual tension that for the most part, the two of you were happy to ignore. it allowed room for a more sassy friendship, at least. 

“uh huh, suuure,” sasha responded, seemingly unconvinced. she must’ve sensed your discomfort, deciding to change the topic. “who’s who?” 

your eyes traced the track, analyzing each vehicle. “armin’s in yellow, mikasa’s in red, eren’s in white, and i believe levi is in green.” 

“levi’s racing? isn’t he getting a little old for that?” sasha laughed, squinting. you chuckled. 

“it’s just a small fundraiser race, plus he’s a crowd favorite over here,” you explained. sasha nodded as she processed the information. the sun was hot, beating down on your back. “i’m honestly surprised this many people came out.” 

sasha tossed more popcorn in her mouth, halfway done with the bag despite the race still not having started. she offered it to you again. “mhm, this is the same type of crowd that we’d see in the underground.” 

you thought back to your days of attending the illegal races, late at night and under the cover of darkness. though you were just a junior in college, it felt like those nights freshman year had been decades ago. that was before eren showed real promise in the professional circuit. it was also where levi scouted him out to be his successor. 

as if on cue, you could see the figures of the racers emerging from the port, each headed for their respective cars. you couldn’t help the way your gaze immediately followed the tall, brown haired racer adorned in his white racing jacket, checkers on the side. the crowd erupted into cheers at the sight of the all the racers, one from each color of the rainbow. eren walked with a certain confidence, his adamant determination being one of the only things that followed him from high school. 

though you couldn’t clearly see his face from where you sat, you knew he was smiling. eren had always loved the adrenaline rush before a race. 

“alright ladies and gentlemen, we welcome you to the annual shiganshina fundraiser race!” the reporter boomed over the intercom. sasha squealed in her seat, excitedly gripping your arm and pointing towards your friends. you felt a mix of excited nervousness waft over you, giggling along with her. “today we’ve got racers from all over the circuit, and each one has volunteered their precious time for the cause. can we get a round of applause?” 

the crowd erupted in yet another ear deafening round of applause as the announcer read off the names of each of the racers. you and sasha made sure to scream your loudest when armin, mikasa, and eren’s names were read off. 

you hoped they knew it was you, your throat scratchy as you sat back down. there was no need to be loud for levi; the entire crowd went absolutely feral at the mention of his name. 

the announcer read off the conditions of the race, as well as the reasoning for the fundraiser itself. you and sasha chatted quietly about the after party while the racers put their helmets on and got in their cars. before too long, the announcer was gearing up for the start. 

“alright everyone, we’re about to start. get yourselves ready.” 

you and sasha stood, hollering and cheering for your friends as the cars all lined up. you knew you’d be happy if any of them crossed the finish line first, but it was undeniable that it would be eren. it wasn’t armin or mikasa’s passion like it was eren’s; they viewed it more as as fun hobby. nevertheless, you dreaded how smug eren would be once he added another win to his already growing list. he really was a bastard sometimes. 

“racers ready your cars. 3... 2... 1... go!” 

they were off, levi’s green car easily settling into first place, cruising past the other cars as he whipped around the first curve. you held your breath, eyes scanning the other cars placements. eren was in fourth, armin in fifth, and mikasa in second. sasha yelled sporadically, reaching out and squeezing your wrist tightly. 

as they rounded the circuit for the second time, eren passed the third place racer, coming up behind mikasa’s red car. you held your breath. “c’mon eren...” 

“shit! he passed her!” sasha screeched, jumping up and down. you smiled as he whipped the corner, nearly cutting the edge of the median. 

“levi is still so far ahead,” you commented, trying to pry sasha’s death grip from your wrist. your eyes glanced to the clock, realizing that the race was near its finish. levi was cutting the third corner and eren was quickly gaining on him. 

“looks like it’s gonna be clo-” sasha’s voice was cut off as a large man tripped over the bleacher behind you, effectively shoving you into her side. “shit, the popcorn!” 

you regained your balance, giving the man behind you a dirty glare as you turned to sasha. she frowned at the popcorn that’d been spilled all over the ground. “what a waste!” 

looking back up at the track, the crowd broke into screams of excitement. you expected to see eren’s face on the big screen to the side as confetti streamed through the air, but were surprised to see levi’s unimpressed stare. 

eren lost? 

“you’ve gotta be shitting me,” sasha gaped, her face slack in shock. you shrugged, shaking the feeling of disappointment from your shoulders. serves him right. 

people started to vacate the stands, shoving their way past you as you turned to sasha. “let’s go find connie and jean, sash.” 

she nodded, still frowning. the two of you climbed down the steps, going against the flow of the crowd as you weaseled your way down onto the spectators path. you could see all of the racers shaking hands, congratulating each other. your mind briefly considered whether or not eren was going to be upset, but you decided not to dwell on it. 

you watched as the racers disappeared into the tunnel, eren’s tall figure no longer in view. just then, connie and jean came walking out from the service booth, both wearing their maintenance coveralls. 

sasha wildly waved her arm, grabbing your hand and pulling you through the remaining stragglers towards your friends. 

“hey guys!” she smiled, the boys jogging to meet you halfway. 

“why were you guys in such shit seats?” connie asked, skipping over a greeting. you let out a small laugh at sasha’s expense. she merely shrugged, turning to jean. 

“we going to your place?” you questioned before she had the chance. jean nodded, adjusting the backwards baseball cap on his head. 

“yeah, just gotta wrap some things up, then we can head out,” he replied. you grew happy at the thought of kicking back with your friends, enjoying a nice night of fun. parties at jean and connie’s place were always the best. 

***************

“some race that was,” connie groaned, leaning back and bringing the beer bottle to his lips. so far it was just you, sasha, connie, jean, and a bunch of random drunk people who’d come from the track. sasha scoffed from her spot on the worn, brown couch. 

“you could say that again,” she grumbled. “we didn’t even get to see levi cross the finish line ‘cause some guy rammed into us.” 

jean looked at you from where he leaned against the wall, a bottle in his hand and his eyebrows raised. “wait, for real?” 

“yeah,” you sighed, drinking whatever bitter liquid sasha had poured into your red solo cup. “didn’t even say sorry.” 

“how many times do i have to tell you guys, just come work maintenance with jean-boy and i,” connie suggested, wrapping his arm around sasha’s shoulder and giving a squeeze. she rolled her eyes and shoved him off. “you guys would get to watch the race from the track itself.” 

“i don’t know the first thing about cars,” sasha laughed, you nodding along with her. 

“and you think we do? i just said that so we could get the best seats in the house,” connie snorted, taking another swig of his drink. you chuckled at his idiocy, unfazed by yet another one of their stupid stunts. “where’re the big racers anyway?” 

“they should be here soon,” you responded, glancing out the window. jean was unironically blasting the fast and the furious soundtrack, something he’d done after every race for as long as you’d known him. by now the songs were ingrained in your brain. 

“who wants to bet jaeger is in a pissy mood?” jean snorted as he moved to sit down on the arm of the chair you were planted in. 

“when isn’t he?” you sneered. connie and sasha hummed in agreement. both you and jean loved nothing more than to push eren’s buttons. you knew jean’s motives stemmed from some boyish fun, whereas yours felt a little more personal. 

the sound of clapping began to compete with the music, your neck craning to look past jean into the hallway. eren, armin, and mikasa came into view, people cheering them on and patting them on the back. they each wore their racing jackets over their street clothes. 

you felt a familiar sensation burn in your stomach at the sight of eren. his dark hair was pulled back per usual, wispies framing his tan face. The white jacket stood out against his black t-shirt and black jeans; key necklace he always wore glinting against his chest. as your gaze travelled up from his body, you were startled to make contact with his teal eyes. you quickly glanced away in embarrassment. 

“well, well, well,” jean cheered, raising his bottle to the trio. “how’d it feel to lose to a short, old man, eh jaeger?”

eren scowled, obviously peeved. “if i had to lose to anyone, i’m glad it was levi.” 

connie snorted at that. “man, professional circuit has you soft.” 

“whatever you say, baldie,” eren smirked mischievously as he came to sit down on the couch. connie defensively rubbed his head. “at least i’m making money in prof.” 

“i still can’t believe you have people that actually want to sponsor you,” you snipped, a playful expression on your face. eren lazily looked towards you, the familiar irritation laced in his eyes. 

“i’m sorry, what was that? i wasn’t listening to you,” eren retorted, looking as unbothered as ever. you glared at his words, but caught armin’s disapproving eye and decided to stay quiet. 

as the night carried on, you watched your friends relax and reminisce about previous races and the days spent in the illegal ring. it seemed crazy that your life was so centered around car races, when you weren’t even a racer yourself. but you supposed you were just happy to be supporting your friends.

at some point you got up out of your chair to refill your cup. the large hoards of people had started to dance; the house feeling hot and humid as you shoved your way to the kitchen. luckily the room was empty, save for armin who was drinking water out of the kitchen tap. 

“thirsty?” you asked, amused. his head snapped up, surprised by your voice. it took one look to tell he was absolutely trashed, face red and eyes half lidded. he smiled goofily and nodded his head before stumbling back out into the crowd of people. 

you quickly filled your cup, following the direction armin had gone. as you stepped out of the kitchen, a body came out of nowhere and smacked into you. 

eren jumped back, trying to avoid the liquid that sloshed out of your cup. “hey, watch it!” he hissed. 

“you watch it, casanova,” you snapped, irritated by the sticky alcohol that dripped down your hand. eren’s eyes narrowed at the nickname, his arms defensively crossing his chest. 

“i told you not to call me that,” he bit back, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. you rolled your eyes, instinctively bringing your hand to your mouth in an attempt to lick the drink off. eren watched you, his gaze clouded with an indiscernible emotion. you knew what you were doing. 

“hm. too bad,” you quipped, dragging your tongue down the side of your hand, popping your pointer finger in your mouth. eren glowered at you as you let out a giggle. “see ya, loser.” 

“whatever, brat,” he huffed, shaking the tension from his pants as you sauntered off into the crowd. he hated the effect you had on him.

you’d already decided not to get shit faced. while the rest of your friends had chosen otherwise, you danced alongside them, your resolve wearing thin much faster than theirs. jean and sasha bounced happily up and down, screaming the lyrics to whatever song it was blasting from the speakers. connie and mikasa were playing beer pong, and you had no clue where armin and eren had gone.

you heaved in a breath as a sharp pain shot through your side, signaling the end of your dancing career for the night. your two dance partners were too far gone to notice, waving goodbye to you as you stepped out of the sweaty crowd. 

slipping your phone out of your pocket, your eyes nearly popped from your head at the time. two thirty?!

only slightly tipsy, you decided to find jean’s room and call it a night. he’d just have to sleep on the couch. with one hand dragging on the wall, you made your way through the house, past armin who was doing body shots with a couple of strangers, up the stairs and down the dark hall. it was quieter up here, but you could still hear the music and knew it’d be awhile till sleep visited you. 

shoving jean’s door open, you were surprised to see none other than eren laid back on the bed, puffs of smoke coming from his mouth. the strong scent of weed hit your nostrils, nose scrunching up in reflex. he propped himself up on one arm upon your entrance, eyeing you. 

“oh, sorry i’ll just- wait a minute,” you paused, narrowing your eyes at him. “you aren’t supposed to be smoking on your sponsorship.” 

eren let out a loud laugh at that, more smoke spilling from his lungs. “thanks, mom. i know.” 

you stood in the doorway, not really sure what to do. “jean’s gonna be mad if his room smells like weed tomorrow.” 

“yeah, why do you think i chose to do it in here?” he leered, bringing the blunt to his lips and deeply inhaling, sharp cheekbones protruding with the action. you sucked in a breath, not wanting to acknowledge just how gorgeous he was. his jacket was off, black shirt tightly gripping his muscular yet slender arms as he propped himself up. he blew the smoke from his nostrils this time, making your face heat. “wanna hit?”  

you sighed, weighing the options. jean’s bed was a lot more comfortable than connie’s. you could just wait till eren was done, and then pass out. “no, but i’ll wait with you till you’re done.” 

“suit yourself, brat,” eren hummed, flopping back down on the bed as you shut the door behind yourself. you came to sit by him, looking down as he heaved in a sober breath. he really is beautiful, you thought. 

your eyes scanned his face. “you really shouldn’t be smoking, you know. you could lose the sponsorship.” 

eren rolled his teal eyes, giving you a side glance. “i’m aware. i’m also aware that you aren’t going to rat on me.” 

“and what makes you so sure?” you asked playfully, your voice low. eren’s gaze shifted to you, placing the blunt between his lips as he sat up, face inches from yours. 

“because. you can act like you hate me all you want,” smoke blew from his lips as he spoke, slowly inching his face closer to yours. you swallowed, eyes struggling to maintain contact with his dark stare. “but i know how badly you want me.” 

you blinked, heart rate accelerating as he glanced at your lips. “speaking from experience?” 

eren’s mouth quirked up in a smirk at your words. “something like that.”

you watched with desire as he brought the bud of the blunt up to his lips, deeply inhaling the toxic smoke. he lifted his free hand, pointer finger gently tracing your jaw as his thumb came up to caress your chin. he tapped softly against your face, as if asking you to open your mouth. 

you weren’t sure what part of you was wanting to submit to his every move. maybe it was the alcohol. or maybe it was the accumulation of sexual tension. something told you it was a deeper itch that needed to be scratched. an itch only eren could reach. 

you parted your lips, eyes fluttering as eren leaned forward and carefully brushed his own against yours, dumping his lungful of smoke into your mouth. you breathed it in, fighting the urge to cough and whine as he pulled away. 

“good girl,” he breathed, leaning away to snuff the bud out on jean’s bedside table. you heaved out as much as you could, shocked by your own willingness. you were mainly surprised by how much you enjoyed whatever that was. 

you stared at him expectantly as he turned back to you, a serious expression on his face. “eren.” 

“yes?” he asked, leaning heavily on his arm, eyes unashamedly focused on your lips. his other hand came up again, lightly ghosting your jawline. you could feel yourself growing wet between your legs; the way eren was fucking you with his eyes sending an unwelcomed throb to your clit. 

acting on impulse, you lurched forward, latching your lips onto eren’s slightly chapped ones. he wasted no time in kissing you back; hungrily pressing himself closer to your body. his lips were warm and tasted like weed and coca cola, his tongue wiggling its way into your mouth where you happily welcomed it. 

you brought your hand up, wanting to run your fingers through his hair, but were stopped when they got caught in the bun. eren grunted, kissing you harder and bringing his own hand up to yank the tie from his locks, letting his soft hair fall to his shoulders. 

your fingers were quick to glide through the brown strands, scratching his scalp in the process. some throaty sound emitted from his chest, the noise making your cunt ache in need. how is he so hot? 

eren’s hands came to your waist, roughly shoving you down onto the bed, so that he hovered above you. your lips continued to meld together, saliva coated mouths wetly intertwined. you removed your hand from his hair, bringing both hands to run down the expanse of his arms that were on either side of your head. you squeezed his biceps, surprised when he suddenly pulled away. 

“is this okay?” he panted, breaths labored. his pupils were dilated, all seriousness behind his gaze. you nodded your head without hesitation, practically begging him to continue. “words.”

“yes, yes. i want this just as much as you do,” you responded. eren smirked from above you, his dark hair swirling around his face as his key dangled in front of your chin. 

“good, because,” he leaned down to your ear, lightly nibbling the lobe as the cold key rested against your throat. “i’m going to punish you for all these years of torture.” 

your eyes widened, the words sending a desirable chill down your spine. “torture?” 

eren’s hot mouth travelled slowly from your ear down the side of your neck, lightly peppering the skin with lustful kisses. his tongue came out as he reached your collarbone, dragging the wet muscle up the front of your throat, leaving a trail of saliva in its wake. a small whimper involuntarily left your mouth as he pulled back, grabbing your chin in his large hand.  

“all of the nicknames,” he pressed a kiss to your lips. “the quips,” and another, your chest tightening. “the stunt you pulled earlier with your hand. oh god. it’s like you were practically begging me to bend you over and teach you a lesson.” 

he pulled back, dark eyes boring into yours. the desire was palpable, your breathing shallow as he stared at you. it was like he was waiting for some silent agreement. 

you held eye contact, tilting your chin back ever so slightly in his grip. “good thing i learn fast.” 

your words flew straight to his cock, throbbing uncomfortably behind his jeans. eren let go of your chin, his lips hungrily reconnecting with yours as his hands pinned your wrists to either side of your head. his tongue was quick to invite itself into your mouth, warm and erotic. 

you wanted to tug on his hair again; wanted to hear his primal groans and feel him vibrate against your mouth, but you were pinned to the bed. desperate to hear eren moan, your teeth grazed his bottom lip, the action making him yank his head back. 

“tsk tsk, none of that,” he growled, wet lips glinting in the low light of the room. “this is your punishment. guess we’re going to have to do something else.” 

you frowned as he let go of your wrists, lifting himself from the bed and standing. you propped yourself up on your elbows, eyes laced with desire as eren swiftly pulled the black shirt over his head, key pendant resting on his newly exposed chest. he was dangerously attractive like this; dark hair disheveled on his shoulders, only adding to the feral stare he was giving you. 

he leaned forward, grabbing your thighs and yanking you to the end of the bed, legs dangling from the side. you watched in awe as he dropped to his knees, fingers coming up to toy with the button of your jean shorts. 

“these little shorts make your ass look so good,” he grumbled, tapping the button. “be good and take them off for me.” 

you wasted no time in lifting your ass off the bed, struggling to yank the denim down your legs without hitting eren in the face. he watched your every movement, licking his lips as you wiggled them off. 

without thinking, your hands gripped the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head to reveal a black bra. eren’s pupils dilated further at the unexpected sight of your breasts. 

he helped pull the shorts from your ankles, tossing them aside as you sat back down, just in your panties and bra. you paused for a moment, unsure of what he was planning to do. 

“watch me,” he demanded, staring at you through his brows. you nodded your head, breath hitching as he placed an open mouthed kiss to the inside of your thigh, tongue swiping against the smooth skin. 

his eyelashes fluttered as he licked up your leg; just the way he looked at you being enough to have you creaming in your lace panties. your teeth tugged at your bottom lip, the burning in your face mirroring the way your clit throbbed along with your heart beat. 

eren’s tongue trailed until he reached the edge of your underwear, eyes never failing to stay connected with yours. you swallowed as he lifted his head, placing his tongue flatly against your clothed clit. 

it was a warm, muted feeling, your body all too aware of the beautiful man between your legs. eren brought his fingers up, hooking under the fabric and pushing it to the side. 

“so wet for me already,” he hummed, a smile on his face. you blushed in embarrassment, the feeling of his breath on your glistening pool of moisture making you shiver. “’m gonna eat you so good, little bitch.” 

you gasped as eren rapidly brought his face down, burying his head between your legs. the sensation was like no other; a swirling feeling in your stomach as his tongue hungrily swiped against your clit. your hands flew down to his hair, tugging as his lips wrapped around the bud, suckling softly. 

a moan escaped your lips, the sound causing eren to groan out in reply. the vibration of his vocal cords against your center amplifying the pleasure. 

a distinct feeling began to burn in your chest, the sloppiness of eren’s tongue licking up your slick causing your legs to squirm, tightening around his head. “fuck.”

eren pulled back at the pressure against his skull, a smack sounding through the air as he released his suction on your wet cunt. 

“i told you to be good,” he hissed, lips coated in your sheen. you knew the image of eren’s face between your legs, hair disheveled and mouth swollen, eyes dark and lustrous, would be burned into the back of your brain. 

flustered, you nodded your head, spreading your legs so they weren’t pressing against his face. he nodded in content, arms coming up to wrap around your thighs to keep you steady. 

and he was back; eating your pussy like he hadn’t been fed in years, a primal desperation. he pressed his tongue down harder, the cry ripping from your throat at the sensation only egging him on. you struggled against his grip as he abused your clit with his mouth, sucking and tracing his teeth over it so good. 

his tongue slid down to your entrance, shoving itself in without invitation. the fullness wasn’t like having sex; it was a heated, swirling feeling. the wet muscle circled around your spongey walls, your face beginning to burn and hands growing clammy in eren’s hair. 

you threw your head back as his ministrations sped up, your hips attempting to grind into his face. the warmth in the pit of your stomach building like a loaded gun, ready to release itself. 

all it took was the added pressure of his hand wrapping around your thigh so that his thumb could press against your clit, feverishly rubbing. you came crashing down, your eyes screwing shut as the wave of dopamine stretched to every part of your body, legs jerking against his hold. 

eren pulled his head back again, a smile on his wet face as he licked your release from his lips. “tasted so good, so good for me.” 

you breathed out in reply as he came back up above you, gently taking your chin and bringing his mouth down to yours. 

the kiss was small and simple, your eye lids growing heavy. you could taste your bitter release on him, the unfamiliar flavor not completely unpleasant. 

“sleepy?” eren mumbled against your lips, coming back to look at you. you nodded your head, eyes catching on the key that dangled from his neck. “too bad. we aren’t done with your punishment yet.” 

you frowned, your body suddenly more awake than it was before. “huh?” you asked, sitting up as eren shifted to pull his jeans off. 

you weren’t sure what you expected when he yanked both his jeans and boxers down; you guessed you’d always thought his anger issues were compensation for something. the realization dawned on you that eren had nothing to compensate for as his cock sprung from his pants, the sheer size making your mouth water. 

a smirk crossed his face as he stepped from his jeans. “enjoying the view?” 

“what? no,” you scoffed, averting your gaze. eren crawled back over you, his bare length pressing into your stomach as his hands came up to unclasp your bra. 

“don’t be shy, this is your punishment after all,” he whispered, pulling the cups from your chest. his eyes unashamedly scanned your breasts, a smile tugging his lips as he gave them a generous squeeze. 

you tried to ignore the imprint of him on your stomach; but it was nearly impossible. you could feel the spot between your legs grow wet again, arousal already weaseling its way back into your system.

eren brought his lips to yours once again, the kisses much sloppier and desperate than before. he grunted as you shifted to lay back down, his exposed dick rubbing against your stomach. “can’t wait to be inside of you,” he mumbled against your lips. 

you whimpered at his words, his lips melding with your own while he simultaneously tugged your panties down your legs. he propped himself up with one arm, the other positioning the tip of his cock at the entrance of your already throbbing cunt. 

you took a deep breath as he slowly eased himself into you; the sheer stretch making your eyes lull back in your head. eren moved his hips slowly at first, loosening you up. he was watching your expressions; his eyelids heavy and mouth slightly agape. 

“shit, you’re so tight,” he groaned, hips starting to move faster as he gazed down at you. you swallowed, closing your eyes as he sent one particularly hard thrust, cock nearly ramming your cervix. “you good?” 

“mhm,” you responded, bringing your hands up to grab his hair. “just so big.” 

eren let out a breathy chuckle at that, eyes traveling down to your pelvis where his dick was visibly creating a bump with every thrust. he placed his hand on your stomach, pressing down as he bucked his hips violently forwards. he was so deep. 

you cried out at the feeling of his length sliding in and out of your cunt, your walls clenching around him as your hands clawed at his muscular back. 

he was filling you up so good, a moan leaving his lips as your enhanced arousal unexpectedly brought your second orgasm down, tears pricking your eyes. eren kept abusing your pussy, his thrusts growing senseless before he buried himself deep within you, releasing his load inside of your exhausted center. 

both of your breathing was labored, eren looking up at the ceiling. his face was flushed as he recovered, you laying limply beneath him trying to regain your composure yourself. 

“that felt so good,” you admitted, bringing your hand up from his back to caress his angular face. eren frowned at your words, large hand grabbing your wrist and removing it from his jawline. 

“m’not tired yet,” he said seriously, your eyes widening as he placed a chaste kiss to your lips. your fucked out face beneath him had his dick already hardening again. “m’not gonna be tired till i win.” 

he suddenly pulled up, hooking his hands under your knees and pushing your legs up by your head. the action strained your muscles, the feeling of eren’s cum dripping down your ass filling your head as he readied himself to fuck you senseless. 

he stared at your cunt; at the way his cum was oozing out of it, the abused pussy ready to take him in again. he used his fingers to catch the drip, forcing it back inside of you. the thought of filling you up all nice and pretty sent him over the edge, his hand shamelessly guiding his cock back inside of you.

eren was meaner this time; each thrust was deep and deliberate, hitting your cervix and making you cry out in pleasure. the burning sensation in your clit was overwhelming, your mouth hanging open as eren slowly fucked you stupid. 

“good, pretty girl” eren breathed out, ramming his hips into yours. “took her punishment like such a good girl.” 

you tried to nod your head, but you couldn’t move. the feeling of hot, sticky tears rolled down your face, eren’s cock deep within you almost too much to bear. he grabbed your chin, tongue swiping up your cheek as he savored the salty flavor on his tastebuds. this man and his licking. 

“tell me, did you learn your lesson?” eren grunted in your ear, hand still gripping your chin. you tried to form a sentence, fucked beyond words. “hm, use your words and i’ll let you cum.” 

one more deep thrust and his dick stopped its strokes, pausing within you. “yes... yes.” 

“yes what?” 

your tongue was heavy in your mouth, pussy all too aware of eren’s length within it. “i learned my lesson, you won.” 

he smirked, aggressively bucking his hips into your weak cunt, the action making you cry out as he rammed your cervix. the tears continued to roll down your cheeks as eren’s dick twitched, spurting the his seed into you. your third release followed his, your clit spasming from the overstimulation. 

eren heaved himself out of you, collapsing deftly onto the bed. the two of you sat in a heated silence, your face sticky from the tears. eren glanced to you, eyes trailing down your body. 

“i’ll get a rag,” he mumbled, shoving off the bed and walking into jean’s bathroom. you were beyond exhausted and knew that you’d be sore tomorrow. eren reemerged, quickly cleaning you up and handing you your shirt. 

your eyes lazily watched him as he walked over and locked the door; brain too tired to form a sentence. 

he must’ve noticed your concern. “we can sleep in here tonight; i don’t think you’re in any shape to move.” 

you carefully crawled into the sheets, not even bothering to put your shirt back on. eren followed suit, climbing in behind you. 

“night,” he whispered as he shut the bedside light off. your lids were growing heavy, a smile on your lips as you began to fall asleep. 

“night, casanova.” 

<3 <3 <3 

[apixrl]

YOUR EREN.

eren jeager x fem!reader

WARNING(S): angst. slight manipulation. s4 spoilers. brief mentions of (but not actually) throwing up at the end.

word count: 5.9k

song: a soulmate who wasn't meant to be // jess benko

note(s): oh, that sound? it's just the sound of my tears whilst writing this oneshot. no biggie

The prison cells underneath headquarters were as dark and dreary as ever as you stood opposite them. Whilst the windows were generously large, the night sky was not so giving. Clouds were gloomy and blocked out the moon and stars, replacing it with a heavy downpour of rain. If you listened closely, you could pick up on the faint 'pitter patter' as droplets met the pebbled ground outside, the sound comforting compared to the echoing silence within the walls. Mattresses were placed in the corners of each cell, old and tattered after years of use by many different faces. You could only imagine their discomfort as you'd never been required to sleep on them, your record in the Scout Regiment practically a clean slate after your years of service. You were someone who took your position as a soldier seriously; respected your superiors and did as told when told.

As for Eren Jeager? It seemed in recent events he was past the point of caring.

Such a fact was blatant as you stared at him through the prison bars, your back pressed against the wall, body stiff and fearful of what would happen if you tried to step closer. Eren's gaze was terrifying to witness even from the odd angle you stared at him. His eyes locked on the ceiling as he lay flat on his back on the bed of his cell. His hair had been pulled back into a messy bun, some strands not long enough to reach so far back were fated to live a life of their own. They glued to his temples and forehead and even entwined with the strands pulled back. You couldn't decide if the look was flattering or not.

"I...," You blurted out without thought of what you planned to actually say, your pathetic attempt at making conversation followed up with a nervous whimper. Eren barely inched a muscle when you broke the quiet, from his eyes to his hands that lay lifeless at his side. He remained laid down as if you weren't even there. That made your heart weep in the worst of ways and your mind qualm - to think the last time you were together he was holding you in his arms as you gazed under the stars. And now he could barely spare you a second glance.

"It's been a while since you were last cooped up in one of these cells," You eventually tried again, calming yourself down as best you could by trying to be light-hearted. "Remember when we would play cards through the bars when I could visit? Those were fun times," You smiled sadly at the memories, eyes drifting away from Eren and towards nothing in particular. The smile then faded, the yearn to experience easier days once more hitting you as hard as stone. "If only we could experience them again,"

Your tone lowered, left unhinged since you knew mourning for what was no more was a waste of time. But you couldn't help yourself. All you wanted was to live in the past, where the titans were slane and the Scouts had reached the sea. All you wanted was to live out your days with your friends, talk and laugh with no need to worry about the rest of the world. All you wanted was to fall into Eren's embrace, to love him with all your might as he did you. There was a short period where that was your life, one filled with simplicity and peace after years of blood and death and gore that haunted your every nightmare. It had been pleasant, and you missed it. More than you were willing to admit.

If only Eren hadn't pushed things too far.

Eren's eyes shifted after a prolonged silence, travelling from the ceiling to you across the way. He was quick to take note of your vacancy, your conflict as you stared at him. How you created your own form of a jail cell by restricting yourself to the opposite side of the room. Maintaining a safe distance like you sensed you would get hurt stepping too far. Eren sighed loudly at that fact. Which caught your attention, E/C eyes flicking back to him at the sound. Eren pushed himself upright, eyes leaving you to stare at the floor before he hoisted himself off of the bed. Then, he turned to face you, searching for you through the wisps of his unkempt fringe.

You held your breath when he did, unable to fathom just how uncomfortable his gaze made you feel. Typically, Eren looking your way would send butterflies to your stomach. Your heart would perform somersaults and beat soundly with joy. Your cheeks would heat up, to which he would smile and tease and call it cute - merely deepening your flustered state like it was some fun game.

But this time, upon him meeting your gaze, nausea swiftly followed after. Rising concern over unconditional love based on his expression alone. It was empty. Unreadable. Nothing you had ever seen him display before. You had witnessed most if not all his worst moments up front but none of them - none of them, came close to just how desolately devoid he looked in that moment.

His lips didn't twitch, firmly held together as they added to his glaring aura. His brows arched sterner than Captain Levi's when you failed to clean a room up to standards, you didn't think it was possible for them to be so closely knit. But the worst part that made you truly sick to the stomach at the unfamiliarity of it all, were his eyes. Their usual bright and gleaming jade green blend that had entranced you from the instant you met Eren were now bleaker and more stationary than ever. They no longer held a zest and determination that motivated you to fight another day, no notable twinkle against the dimly lit room. Only a barren vacancy the most broken are succumbed to display.

You felt the need to comment on it, communicate to Eren just how worried you were. That you wanted to help him because you cared about him more than anyone else in the entire world. You were willing to lay your life down for him, and had even nearly become an anonymous number in the ranks because of that sheer will alone. However, before you had the chance to open your mouth, Eren beat you to it.

"Did Hange send you down here to try and sway me?" Eren asked half-rhetorically, taking a couple of steps forwards until the bars of his cell stopped him. "You of all people should know you can't stop me, so why even bother?"

You were taken back by his bluntness, even more so by his disregard for your previous words. Like you had never said them in the first place and he was the one initiating conversation. Perhaps it was so Eren felt he had the control, asserting dominance in a relationship where he already held more than half of it. His aim was unclear, but you persisted nonetheless.

"No, they didn't," You said. "I came here on my own accord, Eren," You shrugged your shoulders aimlessly. "I wanted to see you. I-I've missed you," Eren's eyes narrowed in suspicion, studying your frame for any sign indicating you were lying. He came out with no clear answer as from the instant you had set foot in the room you'd been shaking like a lamb bleating after its mother. Afraid. His arms crossed over his broad chest still in doubt, the action reminding you just how much he'd changed over the last few years. He was taller, looming over you even whilst feet apart. He was no doubt stronger, evident with or without the fact he held the power of three titans within him. Eren was no longer the vigorous and unruly boy he once was, who devoted his strength to rid the world of all the titans. He was now an indestructible force that vouched for freedom, his will to fight unshaken by no one.

"If you missed me so much," He started, looking down at you with what only felt like shame. "What took you so long to visit?" Raising a brow, you realised he held a point with his inquiry. If you proposed you missed him why hadn't you visited? The truth was you were scared of who you would find on the other side when you did. Levi and Hange had given you the option since the first day Eren was placed in his cell. But no matter the undying need to have Eren in your line of sights again, you failed to find the courage to make that final step.

"I wanted to, I-I really did," You said in a panic. "I was just scared! I didn't know what to say or how to speak to you after... after...,"

"After what?" Eren reprimanded, glowering at you as his hands wrapped around the iron bars. Your eyes widened and you whimpered, shaking your head frantically as a means to apologise.

"N-No Eren. I didn't mean it like that I just -," You swallowed thickly, your breathing quickening as Eren's pressing stare intimidated you more and more by the second. You hated how much you were falling apart. Where had your Eren gone?! Your Eren who always fretted over you during and after battles. Your Eren who grew antsy at Jean or Connie if they got a little too comfortable in your company. Your Eren who snuck into your room past curfew to share stories of his life late into the night. Your Eren who crammed his lips on yours when he couldn't hide his feelings any longer, confirming your relationship would turn from friendship to deepened love. You missed your Eren. You wanted your Eren back. Was that so much to ask?!

"You just what?" He spoke harshly, impatience riddled within every letter and syllable. You were quick to notice his grip on the bars tighten to the point you thought he'd snap them clean in two.

"I...," You trailed off, finishing your cut sentence with a defeated sigh. Your hands lowered to your sides as your head hung forwards. Perhaps being upfront with him was the only way you could go. "You killed people, Eren. Innocent people that hadn't done anything wrong! You ate somebody. Women, men and children crushed under debris like they were nothing. Y-You... you made Armin destroy that port and your decision making got Sasha killed!" You brought a hand to your forehead, not realising how distressed you sounded as you recalled that night. Tears started forming in your eyes, lip trembling. "Shit! I nearly... if Jean hadn't shot that Marley soldier first then I would've...,"

You had experienced a rocky start during the raid on Marley. One of your biggest flaws as a soldier was your will to take another life. Life as in... a human life. You despised the concept and did everything in your power to avoid it all costs, even if your fellow soldiers disagreed (especially Levi's, who persisted humans could be just as bad as titans when it came to killing). That exact flaw came forth when you first encountered a Marleyan soldier, and your hesitation almost ended with a bullet between your eyes. Had Jean not been behind you just in time... your grave would have been undoubtedly determined. There was a time where Eren was the same as you, never wanting to act and inflict harm on other humans. But times had changed since then. Oh, how you hated how much it had changed since then. None of it was fair.

A silence ensued, your stifled sobs the only thing willing to break it. Eren watched you motionlessly, the glare still apparent on his face as your emotions got the better of you. You hadn't realised just how shaken up you were from what happened. Sure, you had faced death many times, but always at the hand of titans. Where you had to evade giant swooshing limbs and teeth that could churn your flesh as cows do cud. Never had you looked another human in the eye and watched them contemplate killing you. To aim a gun directly your way and prep the shot as you realised what their intentions were. Then a feeble attempt to escape approaching death, all too distracted with your life flashing before your eyes for you to see the way out. That was one of the scariest moments of your life. You never wanted to endure it again. Never.

"Come here,"

You stiffened up, looking at Eren amidst dishevelled strands of H/C hair falling over your face. His glare had left and his face had returned to its neutral state, his eyes boring into you with his demand lingering in the air. You wiped your nose on your sleeve as well as your eyes, confused by the abrupt change in atmosphere. A truly weird circumstance and turn of events you weren't expecting indeed. At first, you weren't sure doing as Eren said was a smart idea, having heard Hange's experience with him during a debrief. You didn't believe Eren would treat you with the same sort of disrespect, but you also didn't want to take that risk just in case.

"B-But...,"

"Just do it," He roughly snapped, suspense in his tone kicking you up the hind to move. With a yelp, you pushed yourself off of the wall - back sighing out in bliss after starting to ache because of the uneven rocky surface. You gingerly stepped towards Eren, biting down on your lip to stop it trembling in fright. You came to a stop once close enough to the iron bars, hands going to wrap themselves around them, around the same ones as Eren. Whether you intended for that or it was just subconscious instinct you didn't know. Finally, your eyes dropped to the floor, lost on where to focus. Eren hummed a complacent sigh at your actions, head tilting to the side as he looked you up and down. You couldn't find an answer to what was running through his mind, blank gaze concealing all form of emotion and clarity. Then, just as you thought the silence couldn't grow any more powerful, Eren lifted his hand and reached out for you.

You gasped at the sudden contact, the feeling of Eren's hand cupping your face sending all sorts of sensations through you. His palm was warm despite the cool air of the prison cell. It was as though his hand was constructed to cradle your cheek, moulded into the perfect structure to which you filled in the empty spaces. His hand felt soft even after years of wear and tear of fighting and training, fingers long but not at all discomforting. You had forgotten just how pleasant the feel of Eren's thumb across your cheekbone was until he initiated the motion, almost a way to lure you in. And with your deprivation of his touch - of him. That was enough to have you wrapped around his finger.

"I forgot how nice it was to hold you like this," Eren declared monotonously, though his expression betrayed his lack of care. Something about it had calmed, but he didn't allow it to stay for long, gone so fast that if you blinked you would have missed it. You inhaled deeply, head tilting to the side as you nuzzled into his hand. Seeming satisfied with that, Eren proceeded. "That and just how easily you melt under my touch,"

"Eren," You uttered no louder than a whisper, eyes closing tight as you welcomed his touch. You despised how much he was correct, that you became putty without him even needing to try. That was the impact of love, after all, it makes people act in crazy ways and do some incredibly crazy things. But you couldn't ignore the odd funny feeling still pitting your gut, begging you to stop falling to Eren's will before it was too late. You couldn't get carried away, he had committed obscene criminal acts without jurisdiction. That was more than enough to get him locked up for life, regardless of the war you were fighting. You should be disgusted by his actions, his corrupted thinking and the way he went behind the Military's backs to further his own idea of freedom. You were disgusted.

But you also loved him. Way, way more than you were disgusted.

A frown merged onto your face, blending awkwardly with the once peaceful content that Eren noticed as fast as it appeared. He managed to figure out the thoughts running through your mind also, the young adult lamenting a sigh and he opened his mouth to speak. Not before his hand drifted down to your chin, tilting your head up to make you look at him. His thumb planted on your bottom lip as he grazed over it.

"I'm trying to build a future for Eldia, Y/N," Eren spoke firmly, your heart having a brief elation to the way he said your name. It had been far too long since you had heard him say it. "A future for us, where we can be free and live our lives the way we want to,"

"I know," You began, eyes opening to meet Eren's. "But there are other ways, Eren. More humane ways. We don't have to kill anymore if we just-,"

"There isn't another way," Eren interrupted, his ministrations of stroking your chin coming to an abrupt halt. "We've tried other ways and they haven't worked," Eren evaded your disheartened stare. "I'm sick of it not working,"

"We all are, Eren. Stop making out that you're the only victim here," You paid no mind to Eren's reaction. "We're all victims of this shitshow that's our reality, and we're all just as much the culprits of it as well! All w-we do is fight fire with fire and add more ashes to the pile with each person we slaughter," You felt your grip tighten on the bars, gritting your teeth harshly together. "I'm sick of all the violence and suffering! I just want to go back to the days when we could be at peace. Where we could laugh and joke because the main problem - the titans, were dealt with! I became a soldier to fight titans, not to embark on an endless war where both sides are human and neither is willing to cooperate with the other,"

"Those days are gone," Eren spoke sternly, though it softened up when he noticed you look away. "But they can return," He pressed his forehead against the iron bars, staring at you through deadened eyes. "We can live a life of freedom together once I finish what I started, all I need you to do is stay by my side and to have faith,"

Your eyes widened, gawking at Eren with complete and utter disbelief at his words. His persistence came off like the cruellest of sicknesses, corrupting Eren's mind to the point of insanity. His moral compass was in shambles as was his sense of humanity. The way his eyes were numbed right down to their pupils, blinded by his visions of a future for Eldia that came with the cost of the rest of the world's suffering. It pained you to witness such a change, to witness Eren's descent into madness as war took over his every thought and breath. Suddenly that foreign feeling in your stomach became clear as day, and you abhorred it with a deadly passion.

"I don't want to be free in a world built on other people's suffering," Your hands fell down to your sides, heartbeat racing as you avoided Eren's gaze. He quirked a brow, eyes piercing into you once he realised what you meant, and his chosen tone suggested he didn't like that one bit.

"What are you trying to say?"

You faltered, both as a mental brace and a state of refusal to your next actions. A second or so passed before you took a step back, creating a distance that did more damage than healing. With a shaky breath, you answered his question.

"I love you Eren, with everything I am. B-but I can't stand by your side if this is the path you're going to take," The tears were already brewing, doing everything you could to blink them away. "I won't sit by and watch the rest of the world crumble because of your selfish desires,"

You hated the words you were saying, how you said them and who you were saying them to. That it had all come to this, where Eren became the threat to humanity rather than its saviour. He only had so much time left and had you known that his way of spending it was to spiral the world into chaos - perhaps you wouldn't have grown so attached.

"I can't - I...," Since he hadn't said anything, you felt the urgency to speak. "Eren you have no idea how much I want to but this isn't how I saw our future -,"

"What future?" Eren persisted, not giving you a chance to reply. "Eldia has no future within the walls, these cages! It's time we give the world a taste of its own medicine, so what if a couple of lives are taken out on the way? It's not like they give a damn about ours," Eren scoffed when you shook your head, tears pricking at your eyes and the stinging sensation that came with it was painful to deal with.

"Please, Eren. Think about what you're saying," You pleaded and begged. But you knew it was no use, Eren too fixated on his 'destiny' to see logical reason. Merely the look in his eyes was proof enough to tell you that. "What happened to you? When did you become so heartless? Where's the Eren I knew all those years ago gone? Don't you miss it back then? When we weren't cheating death and we could simply be us? Be two dumb teens in love and the only thing that mattered was that love we shared? Do you even think about that anymore? About me? What about -,"

"Stop it," Eren stopped you, voice acting as a silencer to your blubbering drabble. Flinching at the interruption your mouth clamped shut, and your eyes darted for Eren in surprise. Despite locked behind bars, you were still terrified, and it felt more like you were the prisoner of the pair. With a low growl, Eren raised a clenched fist and thrashed it harshly against the bars. It made a low but loud 'thunk!' sound that hit your ears like impending doom, deafening all around you excluding that of Eren and the words he uttered next. "I'm sick of listening to you whine about shit that's not even important,"

"W-what?" You stammered in question, voice unsteady. "What do you mean it's not important?"

"Do you really think that amidst all of this I have time to be playing boyfriend?" Eren half-mocked. "I've got bigger priorities than you right now," He didn't look you in the eye, nostrils flared as his gaze lingered on the floor. Your legs nearly gave way at what you were hearing, each word a fatal stab to the stomach. Each stab even more malicious than the last. So that was it? You didn't matter anymore? Were you just some pawn in Eren's plan until he didn't feel he needed you anymore? Had his love ever been real or was it all a hoax to manipulate your every waking thought?

A minute passed of still silence, one of the many that evening. Your eyes never left Eren, searching for something to indicate he was joking. As well as contemplating pinching yourself in hopes you woke up from this horrible nightmare. Maybe you'd wake up in your Eren's arms, safe and secure as you lay beside him - his gentle breaths from deep sleep tickling the back of your neck and helping you forget the entire reason you woke up. But sadly, no such thing happened. You never woke up from anything but were instead left to face an Eren you barely knew anymore. Endure the pain as he pounded words into your head that gashed crueller than the worst of war wounds.

Realising this, you felt an urge to laugh, unsure what else there was you really could do. Crying was ineffective, and there was no way you could let Eren get the better of you. That's probably what he wanted anyway, for you to turn around and beg on your hands and knees. So as your hand met your face, you released the smallest of chuckles, lacking in humour but overwhelmed with an unforeseen emptiness. It definitely caught Eren by surprise, but he was fast to not hide it as he pressured that vacant stare onto you yet again.

"You insist your plan is the only way to get us our future, but I'm not even sure what future you mean anymore," You hesitated, trying to gain control of your lip which began to quiver erratically. "Clearly it's not the one we imagined together when we were younger,"

"If only you weren't so blinded by your emotions," Eren avoided your words, something you noticed and felt more agonised by than relieved. "Stop thinking with your feelings and see the logic, already. It's so annoying,"

Almost choking on the sob you tried to hold down, you bit down harshly on your lip - any harder and you probably would have drawn blood. You did everything you could to ignore Eren's words, but you were so hurt that you were losing the means to do so.

But you couldn't let his words consume you and manifest them into truth. You had to be strong, use whatever power you had left to regain your composure and come out the bigger person. Eren had always been a stubborn brat, Levi's nickname reigning true now more than ever.

"Use your head and think, Y/N," Eren spoke slowly, leaning his weight back onto one foot. He stretched his arm out towards you, held out for you to take. "Maybe if you stop caring for those that'll just kill you off for sport you'll actually comprehend why you're following the wrong cause,"

His words were suffocating and barbaric, not at all inspiring or persuading in the slightest. It didn't make you feel hopeful, it made you feel trapped. All you wanted was for it to stop. It wasn't love no matter how much you adored him. It wasn't healthy no matter the good memories you had shared. You had to stop the past messing with your head. You had to stop Eren messing with your head. You wanted to get out and escape. You needed to and as soon as possible. So, taking a moment to regain your composure, your hands raised to adjust the collar of your jacket and you looked over at Eren. An apologetic expression on your face for deciding to cut the visit short.

"I think I should... should go check on Armin and the others," You started, not sure what Eren would make of that. He appeared to show confusion, blinking once your words processed and frowning based on how sudden they were.

"Why would you need to do that?"

"They've been busy, and they're probably looking for me," You made up on the spot. "I didn't tell them I was coming to see you," Eren was silent, eyeing you up and down before he scoffed.

"You know I can tell you're lying, right?"

"W-Why would I lie?"

"For the same reason all people lie," Eren said. "To avoid what you're too scared to face," The way Eren spoke made everything feel much, much worse. A heavy amount of disrespect originated from this new flesh of conceit that Eren displayed on full. He had always been one to boast, but never in the form he showed in the present.

Listening to his slander any longer was something you simply couldn't handle. Not today, anyway. Fatigue was starting to claim control over your thought process, emotionally drained from talking to Eren. He had selfishly left you in a constant state of confusion and agony, making you ask yourself more questions than answering them. It utterly and totally sucked, being honest, and you had no clue where your relationship stood. Was it over? Were you still even together? Had he even seen you both as a couple this entire time or was it all just a big lie?

"So what were you trying to avoid when you spent all those months lying to us?" You were tempted to leave without another word said, but you knew you'd regret not asking your question. Which had popped into your head at the last moment as you pondered on Eren's words. Using them against you seemed to strike a nerve, as when you expected Eren to talk he did no such thing. Instead, he glared at you for being caught out, prompting your next words to follow. "I'll... I'll see you later, Eren,"

And with that, you started walking away.

You did everything in your power to not look back, focusing your gaze on the exit that was a little way ahead. Eren's stare etched itself into your back on the way out, leaving an even deeper wound than before which would probably scar for sure. Your footsteps dragged across the floor like you hauled twice your body weight behind you. Walking upstairs had never been such a demanding challenge before in your life. To think that you possessed the energy to traverse the walls but absolutely none to conquer thirteen mediocre steps.

You made it around ten steps up, just about to reach out for the door handle - when Eren's voice finally filled the room again. It brought your rushed exit to a halt with ease, much to your dismay, and what he had to say did nothing to help your situation.

"Who's to say I ever lied?"

Your heart both soared and sank at the same time, the conflict in your head skyrocketing as your thoughts drove you mad. What did Eren mean by that? Lie about what exactly? It was the way his words were always so devoid of clarity that hurt the most. The brunette was exceedingly blunt yet always left you inquiring more, prying further until it was too late. A mind game that pulled you in and kept you playing. You admittedly almost swayed.

But so close to the door, your hand wavering in the air just begging to open it - it was enough to prevent such a thing a happening. You knew if you headed back it would be the end, you would somehow get more hurt than you already had. It was a risky move you didn't want to place your bets on, you had come too far to be foolish.

So taking a deep breath you reached out for the handle and gripped it tight. You turned the knob and braced yourself to leave, blocking Eren from your mind as you lifted your foot to the eleventh step. Then the twelfth. Then the thirteenth, and finally onto the floor above the jail cells.

Closing that door behind you felt like the freshest of cleanses, your body sighing out in relief when it clicked shut.

Sadly though, you didn't have time to celebrate. The whole encounter surely caught up with you, as did the tears you had been saving for when you were finally alone. Just like they guaranteed, the hot, salty liquid singed the corners of your eyes and the tears returned. Before you could do anything, a cry broke out and you staggered until your back hit the door. The hinges jolted loudly, most likely attracting the attention of someone nearby. Whether it be a guard around the corner or one of your friends in search of your location. Maybe even Hange or Levi coming to check up on you. Whichever it was, they were in for a shock.

Your heart raced with anxiety, mind and body overwhelmed by inner turmoil that made you sick to your gut. The nausea was so bad you had to hold your stomach with your spare arm, fighting the urge to violently vomit all whilst controlling your reckless sobs that didn't cease their slander. Your vision went blurry from how much you broke down, unable to blink the tears away no matter your efforts.

Fearing the unknown had always been a part of who you were. But had somewhat simmered down as you grew older and developed mentally through being a soldier. However, all that progress reversed in an instant as your mind flashed back to the thought of Eren. How someone who used to possess so much passion now resorted to an empty vessel. The way he admitted to your insignificance with such little struggle, only to proceed to confuse you even more by implying he had never told a single lie. Was he even talking about you when he said that? Or something else completely unrelated?

A little bit of confirmation wouldn't hurt anybody.

It was odd to have Eren be the reason for your tears after so many years of him typically being the one to dry them off your face. Though thinking about it, he had been the leading cause for a lot of things as of late. The number a very concerning amount indeed. You barely even recognised him anymore. The once caring soul you fell in love with was no longer there, replaced with a man who had discovered the bittersweet lust for power based on a corrupted idealogy. Such a ruthless lust that it no longer mattered how that idealogy came to be, just as long as he managed to taste an essence of it.

You hated it. You hated that of all people it was Eren who tumbled down that drain. How did you allow yourself to fall in love with someone so possible of committing such atrocities? To worship him and give him everything you had, only to be told it was all for nothing and you were fighting a losing battle. You knew it was hopeless to hold on and believe that your Eren might return but at this rate that seemed unattainable. Not after witnessing him firsthand. The only thing left now was to move on and pray the world was on your side.

Part of you didn't want to move on though, so familiar with Eren as your crutch that a world without him sounded terrifying. You had grown so used to his presence in your life that all of this still felt so surreal no matter the fact you were very much living in it. Living in an endless hell that never allowed anyone a moment's peace. Not you. Not even Eren. Not a single human being on the planet. Nobody.

Just... where along the line had it all gone so painfully wrong?

[starfirette]

maybe for a part two for mother!reader x armin is when armin is like 15 and she visits the scouts to see him and she ends up embarrassing him??

 New Life: a direct sequel to New Start | part three is out!!

| Armin Alert x Mother! Reader | some Levi x Reader hints because I’m a SIMP for the man | masterlist | more snk x reader | no word count only insomina and the procrastination of changing my major |

The big, round eyes you once swore would be green turned out to be blue. 

And they were so eager to leave you and be a man. 

It was the hardest choice you’d ever made, allowing your son to leave the village and join the cadet corps. It was what he seemed to want, so so desperately. You couldn’t tell if he wanted it as much as he wanted to follow Eren Jaeger and the Mikasa girl. Both were pleasant enough children. They stood up for your Armin more than enough times to be allowed in your household. You didn’t mind if they both showed up unannounced to take Armin on an adventure or even to eat dinner and spend the night. 

Carla was a sweet enough woman who seemed to have the same concerns for Eren that you had for Armin. She wanted them to be friends and be normal children that didn’t have to worry about death and disease. It was a common scene for Carla to walk Eren and the young girl to your house with a freshly baked cherry and butter pie, made from the fresh picked cherries in the shared village orchard. 

Hosting the two children was never an issue. You liked having the house filled. The boys even seemed to get Mikasa on her feet, running around and doing some sort of adventure. 

Armin’s wide, blue eyes always taunted you, taunting the color green you’d imagined they’d be. 

Armin had grown up to be a better young man than you could have ever hoped for. He was a sweet young boy who enjoyed his studies and never forgot his mother’s birthday. He never argued, never disobeyed, (though you like to think he naturally agreed with your set of rules). 

It was one evening that he’d burst into a fit of yelling and crying when he broke the blue, crystal vase that had been your obvious favorite piece of decorum in the house. He was a smart child. He noticed how you doted on your vase. It was always filled with fresh flowers, always dusted and cleaned, and never moved from the spot on the credenza in the center of the living space. 

You felt a strange sadness as you swept the pieces of thin glass up. You did your best not to let it show. Seeing Armin blubber and apologize profusely with bleeding palms from where he’d tried to mend the vase back together was a sore sight. You weren’t angry. You assured your son as much, holding him and assuring him it was only a ‘thing.’ 

But you cried that night in your small cot, when you were sure that he’d fallen fast asleep in his own room. 

Tears were never a stranger to your household. 

You were familiar with them, as you had been all your life. 

You’d burst into hysterical tears when, one day, the dishes shook off the counter, clattering and crashing to the floor like an earthquake. You knew like you knew the sky was blue that there were titans. Invasion was on your mind since you’d left the Interior, but you never suspected it would be this way. 

You raced to the city square to find Armin. Your boy was with Eren and Mikasa somewhere. But he was small, and tender, and he could be hurt. Your heart fell at the sight of any blond head in the nearest proximity of danger. When you found your boy, you scooped him into your arms, and you ran like you’d never run before. 

It was only at the safety point when you’d set Armin down and spoke. You examined him for wounds, asking if he was alright in a straight voice while tears streamed down your face. 

It was the beginning of a cruel five years. Eren Jaeger and Mikasa had become your newest children. You cared for them as best as you could. Your discreet funds of money that was stored in banks all across the walled lands did a good job of keeping you all safe and protected. You lived with Armin and the kids for seven months at the new house. It was considerably smaller, but everyone had their own bed, and they never had to worry about food being on the table. 

Eventually, the time came for the children to make their choice. You’d sensed it coming from a mile away. How could you not? They were not slick. Eren spoke loudly in the nights about his plan for vengeance and justifying poor Carla’s death. And where Eren would go, Mikasa would. Then Armin would be following close behind, only stuttering when he had the least bit of hesitation. 

It was easily, without a doubt, the hardest choice you’d made in your entire life to give Armin your blessing. Even after all he’d been through...he still wanted his mother’s approval. 

The time came to leave the children. Their enlistment was eagerly accepted. It wasn’t assuring how quickly they’d been enrolled and cataloged. You knew that the regiments were looking to fill the mass gaps of dead soldiers. 

The days of an empty house passed to months. Those winded into years. 

You made the three beds every week, re~fluffing the pillows and shaking off the dust. If any of them ever wanted to come back home, you’d have to make sure they had a clean, comfy bed. 

It was the motherly part of you that wished for any of them to knock on that door. Where one went, the other two followed, like the stars followed the moon.

Some days you thought of Armin. Armin, the departed husband that is. What a jovial man. You missed him often. He would have approved of the life you’d built. He would have liked Armin, the younger. He might have had better furniture choices. 

Letters weren’t enough to keep you from losing your mind. The years just kept adding on, leaving you to wonder what the future held. But one particular letter caught your attention, signed and sealed with the Scout regiment’s signet. Commander Erwin called for an immediate family reunion at one of the safe castles. It would happen while it still could. 

Oh, what a relief, you’d thought. You practically threw your clothes in a traveler’s case and took all the paths you could to the castle. 

It was clearly a rare occasion. Several wagons and carriages were offering rides to the castle, and every passenger was a parent, aunt, or uncle, with the occasional younger siblings of the other cadets. You hadn’t considered it before, but you’d realized that you weren’t just going to see your son. You were filling the roll as a parent for two others. 

Every passenger had a story to tell about their children. You all bonded on the journey with the shared thought, is their child friends with mine? Did they cry together? Train together? 

One mother expressed how badly she’d hoped it would be an annual event. Soldiers hardly got leaves of absence. Who knows when you could see your child again? 

The last of the wagons rolled up to the castles grandiose pathway. It was quite overgrown with shrubbery, but the look it gave was stupendous. You’d wondered if such a look could be mimicked by growing your own plants at home. 

The thoughts vanished as the soldiers were brought out to the courtyard, lining up to find their family.  You stood patiently. You waited for the familiar trio to appear. They wouldn’t be the exact same. You caught yourself watching for small children. Everyone here were soldiers, the real kind, albeit most being cadets. You anxiously watched. You tried not to think, “What if they’re dead?” 

You’d gotten a letter from all three at least a month ago. And there was no issue of death from the corps. Still, the thought lingered. 

You swayed in the breeze, smoothing your dress as you tried to remain patient. 

“Mother?” 

Your heart dropped into your stomach when you heard the familiar voice call out to you. You looked around, trying to pinpoint the voice from the crowd. You were hardly able to take a good look when you were rushed by two muscular figures. They both pounced on you, pulling you into a giant hug and delightfully exclaiming something you didn’t understand from your heart beating loudly in your ears. 

“Oh, Mother,” Armin said into your head, kissing the top of your hair. He was tall. 

He held onto you longer than Eren did, who had pulled back and looked down at you with a gleeful smile. 

“You’re both so...tall,” you exclaimed as you pulled away to look at them both. Armin was tall and slender, but his shoulders were broad. His blond hair was clean cut to his chin as it had always been. He was always a neat person. You imagine he would be keeping up with his routine hair trims as usual. 

Eren stood even taller than Armin, if that’s possible. His unruly brown hair was wavy and too long, as if he didn’t care to cut it when it grew to the tops of his ears. His shoulders were twice as broad as Armin’s, and you could see even under the uniform he’d grown quite muscular. It figures. With him being a titan, and all, it makes enough sense that he’s muscular. 

It’s the first time you’d seen Eren in person since learning via letter he was one of the first of what Armin dubbed a ‘shifter.’ You tried not to let the thought show on your face. Besides, no one here seems to be giving him a hard time. 

You couldn’t help but feel the tears form along your eyelashes like dew drops on a spider’s web. You had once held that little blond boy close to your chest, telling him how he had made you the happiest you’d ever been. 

You meant it, and you mean it now. You couldn’t help but sniffle at the thought of your little boy all grown up. 

Eren laughed while Armin smiled bashfully. “Oh, mother, there’s no need to cry,” he said, bringing you close for another hug. 

You wiped your eyes with your thumbs, trying not to embarrass Armin further. “Well, young man, where is that sister of yours?” you asked Eren. 

Eren’s gleeful smile faltered just slightly. “She’s not feeling well. She decided to use the day off and catch up on some rest. But she’ll join us for dinner.” 

You couldn’t imagine the pain she’d be feeling right about now. It’s no surprise that she’d not felt up to the task of greeting a mother that wasn’t even her own. 

Even in Eren’s eyes-who was doing his best to be strong-had a distant sort of grief that lingered in his eyes, especially at the sight of you adjusting Armin’s clothes. 

“Mother, I’ll show you to your room,” Armin said, linking his arm in yours. You fondly accepted Eren’s offer to link your other arm in his own. You asked the boys thousands of questions, intently enjoying their answers. 

The castle towered tall above you, the rooftops that arched up being blushed with the shadows of the bushy tree tops. You were only one of the many mothers being escorted gently through the vast castle built with limestone that was polished down to perfect edges. Parents and siblings were being taken on grandiose tours, all while being hugged and pulled by their solider children. 

“This is where the survey corps lives?” you asked. Armin nodded ambitiously, a smile curved wide on his mouth. “We move around sometimes depending on where we’re being deployed, but this is where we usually are.” 

“It’s huge!” you awe. The castle seemed ancient. Every turn had a piece of character that felt ageless and wiser beyond even your own years. Thought vast, the castle was well kept. You couldn’t find a single cobweb, even if you wanted to. 

“Tell me about it,” Eren groaned as he touched his forehead. “It’s a real bitch to clean.” 

You looked at the boy in shock, your mouth open. “Why, Eren, where have you heard such language?” 

Eren looked to Armin for help as he floundered for an answer. He couldn’t quite form one, so his mouth contorted uneasily. “I-Well I mean...I...I’m sorry.” 

You playfully told him you’d allow it this once. 

You felt so happy to see the two boys grown and healthy. Armin’s soft hands had doubled in size. He once had such chubby, little hands that gripped your finger tightly for comfort. Always sticky, even one thumb tucked in his mouth. 

Though his face was the same, he looked so different in every other aspect. But, this thought was comforted by the matter of Armin being the same in personality as he has always been. He still wore the little timid smile of someone bursting to the seams with words he wants to share. He always has something interesting on his mind. His intelligence had even taken you aback when he was a child. He certainly didn’t get that from you. 

You figured it was a trait inherited by his birth mother or his biological grandfather. Truthfully, those are the only relatives of his that you know. After adopting him, you tried to dig up more information about his family. You would have liked for him to have the answers to the questions he’d one day ask. 

“Walk faster,” Eren said in an urgent voice. 

“Oh, God,” Armin said under his breath. “Let’s go back that way.” 

The two young boys-young men- were now trying to steer you in a jarring direction. “What’s wrong?” you asked, starting to pull your arms away from them. 

“Mom, he’ll see us!” Armin urged you in a loud whisper, attempting to push you into walking. 

“It’s too late, he’s coming,” Eren said in a stiff voice. “We can’t-He’s looking right at me. He’s looking right at me!” 

“Who’s looking at who?” you asked desperately trying to understand.

“At ease, cadets,” a smooth voice said. It came from the figure you finally spotted striding towards you, encased in a not so tall, but lean figure. “I presume this is Mrs. Arlert?” 

The words struck you in the chest. Armin’s face became screwed and red as he looked down at his feet. “That’s not her name, captain,” Armin quickly said. “But yes, she is my mother. Y/n L/n.” 

You didn’t let the hurt bleed into your expression. “I am Armin’s mother. It’s wonderful to meet you. What’s your name?” 

“Levi Ackerman, ma’am,” the man said, holding out a hand to shake yours. You realized why the boys had wanted to run away. The famed captain Ackerman was mentioned in plenty of your letters from all three of the children, even Mikasa’s. Though Mikasa mentioned him only when she asked for favors for you, namely ancestry research. She wanted to know if she could be related to the man at all, since she’d never met any other person with the name. While your efforts proved weak, she’d appreciated the attempt. 

Meanwhile, Eren and Armin mostly wrote about the man to complain. He was mean, you’d heard. Stern and, as Eren put it, “A major jerk.” 

The captain Ackerman doesn’t leave me side; ever. I’d say he’s obsessed with me, but I know it’s because he doesn’t trust me. My power is one that has to be heavily monitored. I wish it didn’t have to be this way. I wish that, at least, my supervisor could be someone nicer. Someone taller, at least, so I don’t have to look down all the time. It’s strange to be chewed out by someone two heads shorter. Note, auntie, this is an estimate. 

You shook the captain’s calloused hand. It was a stark difference from the curtseying and bowing from when you were among the society in the interior. The thought of a woman shaking a man’s hand without wearing a glove was ghastly; it was intimate. This part of etiquette was so deeply engrained in your mind that you blushed at the feeling of the captain’s skin against yours. 

It was enough to keep you from thinking about Armin. 

You’d given him the information about his true name just in case he ever wanted, or needed, to use it. You didn’t expect him to ever go by it. It did hurt, though, to think of your boy being Armin Alert, and not Armin L/n. 

“I can easily see where Armin gets his grace,” the captain said in a smooth, deep voice, looking almost proudly to Armin. 

Eren looked shocked at your left side, and even Armin’s mouth fell agape. “Your son is quite the tactician,” the captain continued.

You chuckle. “He certainly is. Armin’s been impressing me with his brain since he was a baby.” 

Armin laughed nervously. “Mother, we don’t need to share that,” he said in a shy voice. You couldn’t help but continue to gush. You rarely bragged about your child, mostly because your neighbors at home had lost their children and it was a sore subject to speak of. 

“Well, captain, I’ve heard so much about you,” you said, offering the man a warm smile. He was awfully handsome with his dark hair that grazed the edges of his jaw. 

“If I had realized I’d meet the beautiful famed mother, I would have dressed for the occasion,” Levi said with a remarkably steady voice. You felt your cheeks rush with warmth while Eren forced a loud, awkward cough. It sounded as though he was hacking up a piece of his lung. “We’d better get aunt Y/n to her room, ey Armin?” 

“Yeah,” Armin said in a short voice. “I mean yes! Yes, yes, we-yes. She’s tired.” 

“She’s exhausted,” Eren added, holding his hands over your shoulders and massaging them for good measure. You raised your eyebrows. 

“She’s also so hungry,” Armin added loudly. “She’s starving.” 

“There’s a buffet going in the mess hall until mid noon,” Levi suggested. “And then tomorrow there will be a large breakfast party.”

You looked at your son with a teasing look of shame. “Why, you boys never mentioned a party. I would have brought my good dress.” 

“As if you’d need a good dress,” Armin teased. “We can go out to town. There’s going to be available transportation all day for your visit. It’s very exciting. I’ve even been dismissed from my chores!”

Eren sent a small glare to the captain. “I wasn’t dismissed from my chores,” he grumbled. 

“Unfortunately, Jager, you’re one of my favorite cadets. I just can’t spend a minute without you,” the captain said humorously. It made you laugh, to Eren’s horror. “I hope to be seeing you again during your stay, Missus L/n.” 

“Oh, it’s just Miss, captain. I am widowed.” 

Armin took a pause in his breath. “...Widowed?” 

You realized then that you slipped, too. “Unmarried, I meant,” you corrected yourself, albeit too late.

You could see that even Levi knew the well intended flirting was over. Clearly you and your son had things to talk about, and soon. The matter of the surname would likely not compare to Armin’s questions, especially considering that you never spoke of your old life, or your family (this very well may be the reason Armin chose to use his other name in the first place). 

“It was a pleasure, Miss,” the captain said before taking a small bow and walking away. You didn’t have time to notice that the bow was not common for people beyond the interior. “I’m going to go meet Connie’s family,” Eren said calmly, though you felt is was more directed to Armin than you. 

“I’ll be seeing you soon, Eren,” you softly bid the boy as he prepared to walk away, leaving his best friend to the awkwardness that would ensue. 

You looked up at your son with half a smile; he looked uncomfortable. Your boy was doing that thing he did when he was too afraid to say or admit something--he rubbed his palms together nervously, as if he were trying to start a fire. “I’m not angry with you,” you told him before you said anything else. “You don’t have to explain anything to me,” you added. 

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” Armin explained, sounding shaky as he averted his eyes to the floor. “You haven’t told me anything about your family. Your life couldn’t have started only when I was adopted. I just-I just want to know my history.” 

You took a breath. “My days living in the Interior were not something I enjoyed. It was a vastly different lifestyle that I did not enjoy, and likely couldn’t ever enjoy again. Yes. I was married. To a man also called Armin. The marriage was arranged, and he and I held no romantic feelings for one another.”

“Did you have children with him?” Armin asked, his voice quiet. 

“None, my love,” you assured him, wishing you could just stroke his hair and cuddle him tight like you did during his infancy. “I am so sorry that I haven’t...That I have failed to be more forthright with you.”

Armin failed so say anything. He stood motionless. “May you please not flirt with Captain Ackerman again?” he finally said, looking exasperated. 

Your eyes widened. “O-Oh. I’m so so sorry, honey, I just-You-Of course. I swear to not flirt with anyone. Although, I can’t say that I started that. Rather, you should tell the captain not to flirt with your mother again.” 

Armin went beet red in the cheeks. “You can’t just tell the captain what and what not to do, mother,” he said in a low and eerie voice; it was as if someone had made such a mistake before, and Armin had witnessed the consequences first hand. 

“Armin,” you said quietly. 

“I mean it, mother, he once kicked Eren in the face!” Armin went on to exclaim. 

“My dear, I could care less about the captain,” you tell your son firmly. “I admit that I was surprised to hear that you use your biologicals name. And for a split second, it did hurt. But, you are your own person. You have been through things grown men haven’t seen. I am so proud of you. No matter what name you go by, you will always be my dear son. I will always love you with all my heart.”

Armin’s eyes softened, and the corners of his mouth turned into a dimpled smile. “I love you, too, mother,” he said. He brought you close for a hug. He kissed the top of your head as you had always done to him during his youth. 

Some things were bound to never change. 

Armin would always be your intelligent, kind hearted, good tempered son. When he walked, you could only see his toddling down the hallways of your old home. When he laughed, it reminded you of his gasping giggles as he was fondly amused by something some insignificant.

Armin linked his arm with yours one more time. “Let’s get to your room, now,” he said with a happy grin.  

[levis-pink-tea]

Traitor

chapter two

summery: it has been a little over 5 years since you left Marley and since wall maria fell. now as your friends fight for their lifes in Trost your doing all you can to get back and help save them. 

It's been two years since your friends started as cadets. Today was supposed to be an amazing day for them. The 104th cadets had just graduated. You were able to watch all of them come so far since they began training.  Each One of them was strong and had the ability to be in any regiment. You were surprised when most of them had told you they wanted to join the Military police. You knew even if Eren was the top of his class he'd join you. He had a goal and he needed to be a scout to succeed. When you had overheard that Annie wanted to join the MP you feared for your new found home. The armor and colossal may be strong but the female titan is equally as strong especially when it comes to speed. You could remember the training back in Marley and how Annie could always outrun you so you trained and trained to get faster until one day you finally did pass her.

 Yet in her eyes you never stopped running. You kept going all the way to the enemy. The truth was when it came to you Annie she wasn't cold or distant. She was kinder to you and more open. You were like her sister. She didn't get why you left her there or why you just kept running from her.

It had been so long since you thought about that training so why were you thinking of it now of all times? You were putting your saddle on your horse so you could leave on a reconnaissance mission. “Y/n are you okay your crying?” Petra said as she walked over to you to hand your reins. You didn't know when you started crying or why. You dried your tears and took the reins from Petra ``yeah i’m okay I just thought of a friend who I haven't talked to for a while” you said sipping the leather on to your horse. She rubbed your back a little and asked if you wanted to talk about it “im okay Petra don't worry. I just think my friend is pretty mad at me.”  you walked alongside her leading your horses out of the stables and to the captain and the commander. As Erwin gave you all your orders you couldn't help but wonder if Annie really did hate you for leaving. Deep down you hoped she didn't or that at least one day she'd understand why you left.

As the scouts rode down to the gates you were riding between Hange and Levi. Scanning the crowds of people you searched for your friends and smiled when your eyes were met with Armin’s blue ones. You waved to them and promised to yourself that when you got home you'd congratulate all of them for graduating last night.

Levi had grumbled something about what someone from the crowd said. You didn't pay any mind to the dark haired man's grumbling until Hange told Levi to lighten up. “Oh Hange, leave the captain be you know no matter what his fans love that scary scowl he's too pretty to be scary to them” you said with a giggle. You weren't wrong anytime you were with Levi and someone said something about him; it always seemed to be comments about how strong he is or how handsome he is.  

Levi glared at you for your comment “can you two not act like the same person we only need one abnormal not two Y/n” he said as he turned away from you two.

 “Did he just call you a abnormal?” you asked Hange

 “yes yes he did”

“Rude”

Your mission wasn't going perfect or anything but it wasn't going horrible either. As expected many soldiers fell. You were in Hange’s section, always there to assist her or any comrades. You could fly around like Levi and take titans down like him too. Hange always thought you were like Levi in many ways not just because of your strength but because you felt strongly about all the  fallen soldiers you knew much like her did. But you were quick witted and smark like Erwin and in many ways you were like her as well. As you flew around a corner taking down a titan you told the two soldiers behind you to take down the ones behind the one you were going for. It was at times like this that Hange saw all of them in you and how they helped shape you into who you are. You were truly strong and one day she could see you being a commander like Erwin.

You thought you'd be out on this mission much longer but Erwin rode up to where you were and said you were pulling out and going back to the walls. “Titans are attacking the wall just like they did five years ago” Erwin said as you got on to your horse and went to Levi to get him and his squad as well.

As you rode back to the wall you began to feel sick. You were worried for your friends and god were you mad at the ones you used to call friends. You didn't understand how they could do this. They made friends here and made friends with the other scouts who they now were killing. You knew that this had to be their doing there was no other way trost could fall.

“y/n '' Erwin said as he let his horse slow down slightly to ride next to you. “Everything will be alright.” you didn't think you could see the panic on your face but then again Erwin knew you best. Maybe he just knew you were thinking about your friends. 

“I'm just concerned Commander,” you said, looking ahead of you. Trost was still quite far away. “I know  they're strong but I cherish them.” ''You're scared. You're acting just like you did during your first mission, ``Erwin said looking ahead of him. He started to remember that first mission. You were scared as could be and on the way back you rode on the back of Erwins horse. You could remember crying and hiding your face in his back so none of the others could hear your sobbing. Only you knew why you were truly crying. Your home did this to all those people. All those titans you had watched eat people and kill those soldiers were people once too. 

That night you spent in Hange’s room as she tried to help calm you. You cried to her about how you wished you could have saved them. Your comrades and anyone that have died because of the titans. 

 “Do I look that sacred?” you asked. The commander nodded as you took a deep breath. ‘They'll be alright’ you thought to yourself and loosened your grip on your reins not realizing how tight you were holding them until then. 

“Your friends are strong. I'm sure they'll be okay. I hear a few of them want to join us” Erwin’s horse began to pick up pace and so did yours. You could almost always be found riding back by Erwin or Petra. Petra had become like your sister and you held her dearly so riding back with her was comforting. It was the same when it came to Erwin as well. He was like a father to you.   You nodded and told him about how it's always been Eren’s goal to be a scout, how Mikasa was fast and strong like Levi and how Armin is a lot like him.  The two of you spoke in a hush tone for most of the ride back.

As you all approached the walls you did all you could to calm yourself. The hole that you saw was definitely done by the colossal you didn't understand Bertholdt but right now understanding him was your last priority. Right now all that mattered was saving the people. You'd have to try and understand them later. 

“Prepare yourself soldiers!” Erwin shouted. You heard Levi approach you. “Y/n follow me” he said, shooting himself over the wall. You followed right after standing on the back of your horse and shooting yourself over while the others went to another entrance to Wall Rose in order to join the rest of the garison and help save everyone. 

When you came over the wall out of the corner of your eye you saw the three you grew up with ripping something off of someone you had assumed that maybe their gear was damaged and they were taking a lost comrades to help them survive. That when you heard it. You heard yelling and watched as the three of them ran away from a now defenseless person. You debated going to the person but saw a titan coming near. You knew you couldn't save them no matter how badly you wanted to.

You landed on top of the boulder that was now placed in the wall to close the large hole. Levi took down two titans as you noticed your friends. sliding down the boulder yelling for them “Mikasa! Armin!” landing safely on your feet you ran to them“where's Eren?”  Armin lifted the boy a little to show you they had him. your eyes widened as you looked behind you then back at Armins arms. ‘You’ve got to be fucking kidding’ you thought. Grisha was a disgusting man. He did this to his son and you were just now realizing it. The mission that the three Marleyan’s were sent on was a mission to get Eren. “fuck” you mumbled quietly as Levi landed on top of a dead titan and told them to explain what hes looking at. 

 This couldn't be happening. Eren, one of your best friends, had been forced to be a titan shifter by his dad. What kind of man would do that to his son? When Eren was taken somewhere by the military police you decided to look for your other friends. When you found them all you were relieved that they were okay. You thought all of them were at least. You scanned the group again realizing someone was missing. You found all of them except Marco. Your heart sank. Maybe he was just injured or not nearby. You hoped and prayed the soldier you didn't go to try and save wasn't Marco. Yet after all the remaining titans in Trost were killed your heart broke as you found out it was Marco that they killed.

You didn't want to be the ones to find Marcos' body. But here you were standing next to Jean as he began to shake. You could barely understand jeans mumbling. “Jean, breathe please” you said, feeling a tear slip down your cheek. You looked over to the lady who was now asking for his name. Once Jean had told her and she walked away you wrapped your arms around Jean hugging him tightly. He didn't say anything and neither did you. He  wrapped his arms around your waist hugging you tightly. Marco was one of his best friends and he is gone now.

You decided to leave Jean with Connie and went looking for the three people you used to be so close with. You saw Annie staring at the ground and you tighten your hand into a fist and approached her as Reiner and Bertholdt walked over to her not knowing you were right there. “Leonhart!!” you shouted approaching the blonde. When her eyes met yours she was met with a look that was filled with anger. “You fucking bitch!” you shouted as you took a swing at her.

The hit never landed as Reiner caught your fist before you could hit Annie. “All three of you are horrible fucking people!” you shouted as you pulled your fist away from Reiner. “Y/n what are you talking about?” he asked as trying to approach you but you wouldn't let him get too close. You pulled away when he reached for you.

“How dare you! You killed Marco and god knows how many soldiers! You have no right to stand there and wear those jackets! Do you know how many people's blood is on all three of your hands? To many to fucking count!” luckily for them no one was around to hear your shouting. Reiner reached for you again trying to get you to stop yelling. You slapped his hand away “dont fucking touch me Reiner none of you fucking touch me” you looked over to Behrtolt “ and you how dare you break those walls! What the hell is wrong with you!!”

You of all people knew this was part of their mission. You should have been in Annie's shoes originally. You were supposed to be the female titan who was trying to go after Eren. Not her. Annie knew you knew she just didn't get why you were so upset. “Will you stop yelling y/n '' she said walking towards you.

You took a step back “I said dont touch me Annie.” you spat at her. Reiner grabbed one of your small hands with his  large one. “You know this is part of our mission Y/n'' Reiner knew he'd never be seen the same way by you now.  He was just trying to grab you to hug you. They killed Marco and it hurt him. He was friends with Marco and he helped kill him. It hurt. You could tell he regretted it but didn't care. 

“Don't you dare say my name you traitor” you said before looking at the other two marleyans “you are all murderers. I hope you know you killed an innocent boy and ruined the lives of hundreds of families even if you did take down any titans you're still murders” you said as you walked away in tears. You heard Reiner screaming your name and trying to follow you “stop following me Reiner or so help me god”

He grabbed your arm to stop you from walking away “no you disappeared for 2 years and those are the first words you say to all of us? It's been 5 damn years. Your marleyan to you know we had to. You killed titans y/n doesn't that make you just as bad as us?” 

“I may be marelyan but I'm nothing like you. You're the one who wouldn't go with me, you're the one who broke wall rose and my heart. You and those other two are the reason most of what they know as humanity is dead. You're the reason my friend is dead right now. I don't want to talk to you ever again. Leave me alone Reiner” you tried to yank your arm away but his grip was too strong.  “No i won't just leave you alone dammit come back home with us” you tried again to pull away from him “i'm never going back” you said as you slapped him. The red hand print forming on Reiner's face started to sting.

“Let her go Reiner , she doesn't want to talk to you so get your hands off her” Jean said as he and Connie began to walk over to you four. You hoped they hadn't heard too much of what you said. You may hate those three but  you feared Jean would hate you too if he knew. He smirked under the bandana wrapped around his face as he noticed the red hand print on reiners face.

Connie chuckled a little “damn she must have hit you hard” he said removing one of his long gloves and drying off your cheeks. You started crying again at some point. “Come on jean lets go” he said as he started to walk away with you. Jean shot Reiner a death stare for a moment before following after you two. 

“You okay y/n?” Jean asked as he wrapped an arm around you.  You nodded softly as the three of you walked somewhere you could sit and drink water. While the three of you sat you rested your head on Connie's shoulder as he ran his hand through your hair. It made you smile that those two were so kind to you and that they would do whatever they could to comfort you. 

That night you ate dinner with the now graduated cadets. You made sure to congratulate all of them. You gave Armin a little longer of a hug then everyone else. He was still so shaken up and he was worried about Eren. He had been taken into custody almost immediately.  Mikasa was shaken up but not like Armin was. When you congratulated Jean and Connie you gave them both a little kiss on the cheek as a thank you. You didn't notice the light blush on their cheeks. 

The following day the commander knocked on your door wanting to speak with you. When you heard the knock and opened the door you were a little concerned to why Erwin was there and so was levi. “Hi Erwin hi Levi” you said, setting down the book you were reading and letting them in.

They both sat at a little table in your room while you sat on your bed. “y/n we need to ask you some questions about doctor Yeager '' Erwin said  looking at you he seemed more serious than any other time the two of you talked. They spent quite a while speaking to you about Grisha and what you knew about the family. You didn't know much about him or what he did but you knew he had secrets and that not even Eren knew those secrets no one did other than Grisha. 

It was a few days later when you saw Erwin and Levi again they were walking past your room. You followed after them “Commander Erwin can I go with you and captain Levi to speak with Eren today” you asked approaching the two men.

The commander looked at you. When your eyes meet his blue ones you are met with a look that asks you for forgiveness. “I’m sorry y/n but I can’t allow that. Only Captain Levi and I can go'' you frowned softly as he spoke. You just want to ensure he was okay but you understood that because of what happened you can’t accompany them. 

“Is it alright if I go check on my other friends then?” You looked the shorter of the two and smiled softly as he nodded a quick yes. “Thanks guys let me know if erens okay please?”  Erwin smiled softly at you and nodded. He had seen you go through quite a bit so seeing you smile always made him feel a little happier. You had grown so much since they had saved you. All of them notice your growth. 

You couldn't find Hange that day either so you decided to spend the day with your friends from the 104th. Well at least the ones you could find Armin and Mikasa were nowhere to be found either.

You found the group after about 20 minutes of search and walked over to them “hey guys” you said sitting next to Sasha. “I brought a snack to share but don't tell captain Levi '' you took the treat out of your pocket and split it between you,Sasha, Jean, Connie, Christa and Ymir.

The group of cadets kept you distracted for most the day at least until you found out Eren's trial was today. That's why the commander wouldn't let you go see him. Even if he could let you, he was in the hands of the military police, not the scouts. You were glad to hear that Eren got placed in the custody of the scouts. Petra was the one who told you Eren got placed in their custody.

You spent days thinking about the memory you had about Annie. You had finally remembered why you started to cry that day. The day you finally started to beat Annie when you were training as kids was the day you two started to lose your connection. You kept beating her and the more you did the bigger the wall between the two of you got. 

“Annie come on race me please” you begged the blonde as you tried to get her to run with you instead of training with Bertholdt. “Fine but if i beat you i get the treat your mom packed you” she said. The two of you took off after that and before Bertholdt knew it you made it back before Annie.

That was so long ago now you were 10 when that happened and never thought it would have ruined your friendship. While you loved your friendship with her you were okay with it being gone now. Now you had Christa and Sasha to be your new friends so maybe things aren't all that bad.

It wasn long after that when you were able to see Eren again. Eren and Hange got to where the two titans known as Sawney and Bean where spouse to be being held but once they arrived both titans had been killed. You saw Eren with his hood up and waved to him a little. He didn't seem to be mad or anything, just confused. You were just glad to see he was safe.

You waited for your friends while they got their ODM gear checked to see who killed Sawney and Bean. so much was happening for them today. Not only did their ODM gear have to be checked today and they had to choose a regiment. Once all their gear was checked you walked with them to their headquarters and said goodbye for the day. You'd see them that night. They all seemed so distant and hurt but you knew these past few days were so hard. 

That night as Erwin stepped on to the stage to speak to the cadets you stood right beside him. Erwin was always so good with speeches and you knew even this speech despite what had happened a week ago he'd be able to pull some people to join the scouts. You just didn't expect him to bring up going on a mission to Eren's childhood home. You held up a map as Erwin spoke about one of your next missions. 

When Erwin said that anyone who wished to join other regiments may leave, you were surprised to see all of your friends standing in front of all of you. Jean didn't tell you he was going to join the scouts no one did. You knew Connie was going to. You were the first person he told before you went on your mission. Everyone who was in the top had wanted to join the MP that's what they told you yet here they were. “Well commander these numbers are much better than we thought aren't they?” you said before saluting with him. “Yes, these are much better numbers than expected.”

You weren't happy they all joined you knew what being a scout meant. Anytime you left the walls there was no promise you'd come back alive. You knew though that they'd do everything in their power to come back alive and so would you.  A few days later as you  watched your friends put on the scout uniforms brought you many feelings, dread, hope, fear, comfort and hope. You knew that they could save humanity and change the world. 

[fanmoose12]

imagine if levi and hange and the rest of their kiddos survive the rumbling 🤧🤧 hange would prolly retire as commander so she can travel more to develop marleyan and paradis technology and their name would go down in the history books 😩😩 by this time, levi's building their dream cottage and a tea shop as well. then eventually hange returns and the house levi built finally turns into a home 🥺🥺 god not me CRYING OVER THIS!? HELP

His first stop was the bathroom.

Levi entered the small, confined space and inspected it meticulously. The tiles were spotless, the bathtub and washbasin were clean and shining. The towels were ironed and fresh, lying beside the bathtub and waiting to be used. On the bureau next to it, Levi put a bottle of strawberry shampoo and a bar of soap.

Everything’s ready here, he concluded and exited the room, closing the door.

Next was the study room. He walked inside and went straight to the window, opening it and letting in a smell of apples and flowers that grew right outside. He ran his fingertips along the smooth surface of a mahogany desk.

Carving it was such a hustle. Levi winced, as he remembered the ache in his hands that refused to leave a whole week after he was done making that desk.

The desk was dustless, the only thing lying on it was a book, a gift Levi received a couple of days prior.

Peculiar properties of Eldian technology by Hange Zoe

A brief smile crossed Levi’s features as he glanced at it.

You’ve come a long way, four-eyes, he thought, moving further. He turned to the bookshelf and checked the order of books, standing on it. The tomes and volumes were lined up strictly in the alphabetical order, it took Levi four days to organize all of it, but he knew – the annoying weirdo would arrive and would reorganize it all to her heart’s desire, in a system only she could understand.

But it’s the thought that counts, Levi had to remind himself. Besides, he just couldn’t leave all these books in boxes in the attic.

The last room he visited on the second floor was the bedroom. The bed was meticulously made, not a single crease on blue colored, soft sheets. On the bedside table, Levi put a fresh bouquet – chamomiles and sunflowers, her favorite.

Satisfied with inspection, he moved downstairs. As he descended, he did so with a slight, but excited spring in his step.

Only one hour left and there was still so much he needed to do and prepare, but he was eager and giddy.

After months of being apart, one hour seemed like ridiculously small amount of time. And, considering they had a whole life ahead of them, a life without danger and tragedy, one hour was nothing.

Still, it felt like time was flowing too slowly, the pointers of his wrist watch dragged forward in a sluggish, tardy manner.

Once he was downstairs, he headed to the living room. The room was illuminated by a warm, afternoon sunlight. The slight breeze was ruffling green curtains, making Levi think if he should light up a fire. It was only early hours of afternoon and evenings in the summer were warm enough, so he decided against it.

Still, as he walked around the room, he couldn’t help but picture himself, sitting on the sofa in the center. He could almost hear the soft cracking of fire inside the fireplace and feel a warm blanket on his knees. The image of a person, enjoying this peace and quiet beside him, was so vivid Levi had to shake his head to get rid of it.

His thoughts were merely a fantasy anyway. Peace and quiet existing in their house? No way that would ever happen.

Levi glanced down and found a small pile of gifts on the coffee table. There was a basket of pears from Connie’s garden, a pair of socks, knitted by Historia, a blanket, made by Mikasa and Armin, a picture, drawn by Jean.

Someone’s very popular, he couldn’t help but scoff at the notion. So many gifts just for her, when the only thing he had ever received from the loudmouthed brats was a splintering headache.

The kitchen, when he entered, was in chaos, as Connie, Jean and Mikasa frantically moved around, busy with last preparations.

“I thought you were done with this shit,” Levi grumbled, leaning against the doorway and crossing hands on his chest. “If I knew you would take so long, I would have done it myself.”

“But who would have inspected the whole house for a dozen of times then?” Jean asked, turning to Levi with a cocky grin on his face.

Levi felt annoyance bubble inside him at the sight of that smug expression. And to think the brat was tall enough that he couldn’t give him a smack on a head.

“Hurry up,” Levi urged. “They’re going to be here any minute.”

“We still have half an hour, before Armin brings Hange-san here,” Mikasa scoffed. “You can go and check if the house is clean enough once more.”

Years passed, and yet Mikasa remained as irritating as ever. Levi was thinking of vicious enough retort, when Historia chimed in.

“You shouldn’t worry too much about the house! I’m sure Hange-san would love it!”

“I think you could have built her a barn, and she would be ecstatic all the same.” Connie added with a cheerful grin.

“Knowing her pig-like tendencies…” Levi scowled. “Of course, she wouldn’t mind living in a barn.”

“But you want the very best for her, right?” Historia guessed with a warm smile.

“Something like that, yes,” Levi mumbled, his face heating up under the fond looks of his former squad. “Now hurry up and start serving a table. I’ll finish here myself.”

 ***

Levi liked giving the brat shit for being slow idiots, but he had to admit – when put up to a task, they were the best of the best. Ten minutes later, and a table that stood in the middle of a garden behind the newly build house was overflowing with food and wine. Levi made sure that most of the table’s contents were Hange’s favorites. 

Everything should be perfect. He missed her too much for prepare a welcome party that was anything less.

When everything was served and brought out of the house, there was nothing left to do, but sit together around the table and stare intensely at the narrow trail that led up to the house, waiting to see a black car on it.

Levi was living in a small cabin near the woods, Connie and Jean were working on a farm outside of town and Historia was too busy with her royal and maternal duties to learn how to drive a car. That’s why Armin was the one tasked with bringing Hange back home after a trip overseas.

She was gone for almost a year, and everyone couldn’t wait to see her again. And, of course, no one was missing her more than Levi.

When the car finally showed up, Levi was the first one to stand up. His heart was hammering loudly as a smile broke across his face.

He hid it behind his usual scowl. He missed Hange, missed her like crazy. She didn’t have to know about it, though.

The kids rushed to the entrance, all of them wearing almost identical happy expressions. As soon as the car stopped, Jean hurried to it, opening the door for Hange.

She walked out of the car, and everyone cheered, running to embrace her.

Hange laughed and cooed, marveling at how the kids have grown up.

Levi stood a little distance away, unable to take his eyes off her smiling face. She didn’t age a day, he realized, as his heart continued to beat with twice its usual speed.

Finally, after seemed like an eternity to Levi, Hange patted Connie’s head one last time and raised her eyes. Her smile became even wider as their gazes met.

“Hey,” she murmured as she approached him.

“Hey,” he echoed, unable to fight the smile anymore.

“Nice house,” Hange commented, as she reached out and took his hand in hers.

“It’s not a house,” Levi said, intertwining their fingers. “Now that you’re here, it’s a home.”

[thesunshinebunny]

When the world falls apart, the only thing we can hold onto is ourselves (Part II)

Series Master list

pairing: canon Eren Jaeger x reader

content: Angst, unstable relationship, breakup, smut/nswf+18, major character death, violence, blood (obviously), war (pretty obvious)

summary: War and hate. It’s what defined the world at this exact moment. You failed your comrades, and by failing them, you failed yourself. Your relationship is hanging by a thread and your enemies will not only be found on the other side of the sea, but also in the mind of the person you love the most. How will you take the reins in the face of so much destruction?

Chapter summary: Coming home is melancholy and cold, and your squadmates ask you to do what you couldn't do for a year: speak up and find out what's going on inside Eren's mind.

Words count: 5.3k

They say that when a loved one leaves this world, the days follow turns gray, colorless; How ironic to think that the day we buried Sasha was gray, there wasn’t a trace of the blue sky or some solar ray that could give us the warmth we were lacking. It was cold, a cold that got into your bones and no matter how many hugs and words of mutual support we gave each other, we couldn’t get the warmth we needed.

My soul had been fragmented the moment Sasha left this world, but seeing my friends cry at her grave and leave bouquets of flowers, it fragmented even more. I wasn’t able to meet Nicolo's eyes, my guilt prevented me. Inside, I wanted this Marleyan to yell at me, to tell me that he hated my presence, that Sasha's death had been my fault, and that I should have given my life if it meant saving her. I wanted with all my being that he would give me a reason to really feel guilty.

On the way back to the island, the others assured me that her death wasn’t my fault, that I did everything possible to keep her alive. But my ineptitude, my grief, my low self-esteem prevented me from seeing things clearly. I just needed… something to hold onto.

And I wasn't getting anything.

I felt how I was slowly sinking into the rabbit hole, without the possibility of clinging to a tree root. I was falling, falling, falling, unable to know when I would hit bottom. But that bottom came fast before I could have predicted, because minutes after Nicolo arrived, Sasha's father arrived too, bouquet of beautiful red flowers in hand.

I broke myself. The two people who longed for Sasha most in their lives were standing in front of me, mourning the loss of her young soul. The two people who would hate me the most in the world, standing over my friends's grave. I fell to my knees in front of them and in front of her grave, silently begging for forgiveness.

My tears fell incessantly on the freshly stirred earth as did my fingers, imploring this burden on my chest to dissipate, as if unconsciously I was wishing for Sasha herself to forgive me for letting her die. How could one cope with this heinous feeling? How could I go on, knowing that the world was falling around us, unable to know if the next day we were going to be alive or if Marley would initiate an attack from which we weren’t going to be able to defend ourselves?

My head was racing a thousand per second and the only thing I could let out were those sobs that had accompanied me so much on the way back, the same ones that cradled me to slept, and the tears that so much wanted to dissipate the pain in my soul.

It is said that when a person leaves this world, some people are unable to handle grief, just as they are unable to articulate a word. Apparently I was one of those people.

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Nights and days passed. Those of us who survived the attack on Marley stayed in commune trying to encourage ourselves to continue fighting. Hange had recommended us to rest, since the psychological damage could cause us several injuries in the future, and as for Eren ... we weren’t very aware of him. The last we heard from our commanders is that he was locked away from all human contact, stipulating that it would be better to keep him locked up for a while and let whatever shit that was going through his head dissipate.

But that was complete bullshit. I knew that, even locking him up, they weren't going to be able to change the thoughts that tormented Eren so much. I knew that, whatever was wandering through his mind, he wasn’t letting him alone and he would never let go. How did I know that? Because I spent a whole year trying to get him to let me enter in that shell he has been forming in recent years. I tried very hard to get him to tell me his plan before he went to Marley, but I got nothing, and I still get nothing.

My gaze was lost in the window. The nights grew colder and colder and I hugged my arms as I watched the sunset. The boys were arguing about something, something that Mikasa didn't seem to find funny at all, but my mind wasn’t connected to reality. I just stared out the window, remembering the old days when we'd sneak out to steal a piece of meat from the supply warehouse with Sasha and Connie.

I remembered the nights when the boys sneaked into the women's hut to keep each other warm in our days as recruits. I remembered how Armin let me practice my medicine methods on him when he got hurt, a practice that was lost when he inherited the power of the Colossal Titan.

I remembered how we would escape at dawn, grab a few horses and ride out to the ocean, taking nice cool baths on the warm moonlit summer nights. Now those moments only remained in that, in memories.

"(Y/N) are you listening?"

My gaze detached from the window, now it was fixed on a Connie who looked just as tired of the world as I did. This dwarf turned giant was just as devastated as I was by losing half of him, and yet he was still able to continue fighting alongside our friends.

"We think you might be the most suitable to go talk to Eren"

Armin's calm voice stripped me of any desire to go back to the old moments. I pulled myself away from the window tiredly and let my body unconsciously guide me to one of the couchs in the middle of the room, next to the blonde. Apparently while I was wandering in my thoughts, the tension in the room had reached a point where it could be cut with a simple wave of the hand.

As I sat down, I was able to take a better look at the room. From what I could analyze, the group had divided into two, those who still trusted Eren and those who did not, each with their reasons, and apparently, I was playing the role of mediator. The responsibility fell on me to move the pieces of the board: to talk to our supposed war partner and beg him to tell us about his plans and the demons in his head, or to dethrone him completely.

"What makes you think I can go talk to him?"

My words came out of my mouth colder and sharper than I would’ve liked, but it was the simple truth. If Eren was willing to push each other away to accomplish his task, what was I going to accomplish after a year without having answers to his thoughts?

"I haven't been able to speak to him openly in a year"

Armin and Mikasa gave me completely stunned looks. Not even their childhood friend had told them that his relationship was falling off a cliff.

"I didn't know, I thought you were fine"

"Well, we are not fine at all Armin"

I knew it wasn't fair for Armin to get all my frustration, he wasn't guilty at all. I looked him in the eye and I could find multiple feelings in those huge blue eyes: sadness, compassion, guilt, overwhelm. I knew he was one of the worst going through it, his childhood friend was no longer entirely reliable; he had carried out acts of sheer violence and had become the enemy he hated the most; Armin had become his worst enemy and his eyes clearly showed it.

And it was those same eyes that begged me to do something, to go and talk, to try to figure out the smallest thing we could use to get out of this mess Eren got us into. They implored me to save his soul brother from his mental prison.

I let out a long breath before getting up off the couch and heading to the door.

"I highly doubt that I will achieve anything, but I will try to talk to him"

I took one last look to the guys in front of me before leaving the room, each one wishing me luck and pleading for my well-being with their eyes, and sinking even further into the rabbit hole, or rather, going straight to ventured into the lion's den.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The road to the dungeons was long and heavy, but not because of the number of blocks and alleys I had to take, but because of what was waiting for me at the end of the road. Upon coming into contact with the stone walls and their semi-armored doors, the blood on my body ran cold, just as it ran cold when we buried Sasha.

The air below the ground was cold, the smell of mold and dirt entered my nostrils, preventing me from taking a couple of steps without feeling like vomiting. The place really needed a better cleaning, otherwise it would be the epicenter of a huge plague.

At the end of the corridor, where the light was dimmer and let the darkness eat much of the cell, was Eren. My heart skipped a beat when I saw him sitting on his supposed bed, staring directly at the wall, or so it seemed; knowing him he was surely lost in his world. I kept my composure, avoiding giving any trace of my emotional and psychological state.

"Hi"

I got no response, as always.

I had the opportunity to inspect his cell, it was quite untidy and dripping with water, coming from the sink which was covered to the top. Unconsciously I prayed that this water was drinkable or at least that it was not too polluted, since I didn’t have to look completely at the brunette in front of me to know he had put his head in that same water.

"I like your hair, looks very smooth"

"What do you want?"

His voice came out calm but imposing and terrifying at the same time, I would be lying if I said I didn’t startle a bit, but I kept my composure as best as possible to avoid showing the fear in my eyes. Eren may not have noticed, but if he did, he was unfazed.

"The guys think that I can talk to you, but I told them they were completely wrong, I mean...we haven't been able to speak like we used to for a year, maybe more"

My words came out of my mouth like the venom of a snake. I couldn't tell if my intention was to make him feel guilty, or at least feel something, to reflect on my words, but guess what… his eyes didn't even leave the wall behind me.

I crossed my arms and rested my body on one of the bars, hoping to have some intimidating way for the damn bastard to decide to speak. Even though bullying wasn't my thing, I, yes, had a tired face and wasn't there to waste my time, but I had to achieve something, get something, whatever, so I could get out of this damn place.

"You know very well that I'm not going to leave until you say something"

His eyes met mine for a few seconds and then returned to their original position. I knew this was going to be difficult, but I couldn't help my irritation growing from my chest. With every minute that passed, the pain in that area was increasing and a lump in the throat was appearing with each tear that I wanted to avoid shedding.

I'd been through shitty days and had to come alone to the exact place I least wanted to be to talk to the person I least wanted to see.

"I'm used to being on my feet for long hours, I can be here all day, and that's exactly what I'm going to do"

I remained planted in front of the cell, positioning myself with crossed arms right in front of his eyes, preventing them from continuing to look at the miserable wall.

But my bad luck wasn't giving me any sign that I was going to win this fight very soon. Although I was covering his peripheral field, his eyes never deigned to look at me, they simply stayed glued to the front, now seeing my body in front, although in reality, he was seeing without seeing.

My patience was running out and this goddamn silent game had only just begun. I had to find something to work with, something that could flicker him or make him angry… anger would not be the best if I wanted to leave with all the bones intact and my already psychological trauma without further damage; but knowing Eren, anger was his fuel, which made him move and in an action-reaction effect, made everyone move together behind him.

That's it. Everyone. But we weren't all here.

Sasha was dead; Reiner, Berthold and Annie traitors and enemies of Paradis; Ymir disappeared and confirmed dead, being inherited by the new jaw titan; the only one missing from our group was our beloved Queen. The Queen that Eren so decided to care for and protect.

"You know, Historia is about to give birth"

It was mild, but I could feel his body tense. His eyes moved just the same slightly, but in those little acts I knew I had struck a chord. And I was willing to use it, even if it meant destroying my sanity and causing one of Eren's greatest worldly anger.

"Wouldn't it be nice to have a little baby on the squad?" I took a deep breath before launching the second impact of the night, preparing to receive whatever blow came next. "After all, it's your child, right?"

His body moved faster than I could ever achieve and my reflexes weren't sharp enough to pull away in time. His hand grabbed my shirt, drawing me towards the bars and hitting my cheeks on each one, now my face was directly in front of him, my field of vision being just his face and finally, his eyes were focused on mine.

"Don't even think about talking about Historia like that"

If looks could kill, surely I would already be dead on the ground. His grip on my chest was strong, he was even capable of ripping the fabric, but with a push back showed me that it wasn’t strong enough, that everything was a facade. I staggered, almost fell to the ground, but either way, I kept my balance and my expression. I was terrified inside, but I forced myself to keep a stoic look at all time, he was trying to play with me and although I was not entirely sure how much there were just words and how much were an act of anger and violence, I couldn’t dedicate myself to having a hint of doubt.

"Easy, Romeo, I know you're not the daddy...or are you?"

I adjusted my clothes, avoiding his gaze because I knew if I stared into his eyes, I would get a much worse look than the one he gave me a few seconds ago.

"Whatever, you gave me something to work with, Historia knows something and didn't tell us...gee, I wonder why"

I leaned my body against the cold stone. My gaze went everywhere, trying to keep avoiding his eyes and incidentally have a stronger support for my figure.

"The Queen doesn’t have to say anything to anyone"

Ohhh, you little shit.

If that's the game you want to play, then you're going to lose.

Even if his words were absolutely right, we shouldn’t forget that, before she was queen, Historia had been our friend during training and the entire year of accumulated trauma between betrayals and deaths. If we could continue to have conversations with her and were invited to participate in political meetings, then we had every right to be informed of the supposed plan that Eren implanted in our queen's mind.

For a moment I was scared by the physical and emotional state of Historia. Was Eren capable of keeping her threatened? Did he say or do anything to keep her quiet? The questions seemed to have no head or tail, but if Eren was able to grab me the way he did, I can't imagine what he could do to keep someone quiet.

"Yes, you are right, in the same way, trust only the queen before your friends... that’s brave"

I searched the corridor and the cell for something I could use to attract his attention again, if it was necessary for me to use violence against him, I would be willing to do it. My eyes met a chain anchored to the wall, quite a long chain, to tell the truth. And on the other side, reaching almost the middle of the corridor, I could make out a rather dirty cloth.

I glanced at Eren who had sat back down on his bed, head down in his hands, and walked down the hall with one goal in mind. I grabbed the cloth and walked back to the cell, standing in front of the bars. I reached out my hand to the sink and started to clean up what was left of the spilled water.

"It's all soaked, incredible that they keep a cell like this"

Without taking my eyes off the sink, I could hear Eren settling on his bed, perhaps sitting upright. I kept running the dirty cloth over the water, honestly I wasn’t achieving much apart from spreading the now dirty water even more, but I had to continue with the facade of an understandable couple.

"It's a complete mess...were Historia's legs like this when you railed her?"

As before, Eren had quickly stood up, ready to grab my hand that was inside the cell, but I was already better prepared. When I felt his fingers touch my wrist, I turned my hand to anchor it on his arm and draw him towards the bars, having that same arm outside the cell. With half body on the cold metal, my other hand grabbed the missing arm and with all my strength I pulled his limbs towards me, causing his body and head to crash against the bars.

"Do you want to do it the hard way? fine, we'll do it the hard way"

Eren tried to shake off my grip, but the adrenaline rushing through my veins prevented him from loosening even a millimeter. I pushed him and pulled him back to me, stretching his arms even further and hitting his head on the metal.

"What's wrong with you?"

Again, a back and forth motion.

"What is going on in your head?"

Back and forth.

"How much shit can you have in your mind that you are not able to tell your friends?"

Back and forth.

"TELL ME FOR FUCK SAKE!!"

With one last impact, I hit Eren's head and heard the fibers and tendons in his shoulders rip, just as his skin began to stretch and break, revealing the flesh and muscle beneath it. Rivers of blood flowed over his arms, dropping to the floor and turning his skin red.

His head was also bleeding to the side, soaking his torso and rebel hair. A pool of blood formed under our feet. I let go of his arms and then grabbed the chain that was on the wall and chained him. Considering the number of times he hab been chained since his fifteen years, I suppose one more time wouldn't do any harm to his already traumatized mind.

When I saw his hands were secure I dropped to the floor, not caring about the blood that now adorned the cold stone floor. I could feel my ass starting to get soggy and sticky from the substance. I would have to burn this pants when I got out of there.

Both my mind and my breath hitched, enveloping the environment. I tried to calm down and clear my mind to continue this hell of interrogation. I knew I shouldn't have agreed, and now look at what situation I was in.

"You know I can transform and use the power of the warhammer titan to get out of here"

Eren seemed withdrawn from his situation, as if bleeding to death didn't matter in the least. Steam came out of his shoulders, a sign that he was in the process of regeneration and prayed that this process would take a long time to materialize.

“I know…” I tried to calm my voice and breath before speaking again “but if you transform now, you would end up killing me, and killing me means betraying the legion, and betraying them means betraying the people of Paradis… you don 't want that, do you? "

My words may sound sly, but inside I was wanting to run out of there, get under the covers of my bed and sleep until the day of doomsday; I was even wishing to die in that sleep.

"I'm going to stay here until I know once and for all what's going on in your head, because I know that whatever shit is in there… it's killing you."

Now we were both looking into each other's eyes, fighting a battle in silence, seeing who would give up first. We held eye contact for a few long minutes, unable to tell how many. Maybe it was a couple, maybe half an hour or even an hour; whatever the time, I was already getting bored.

"If I had known it would take so long, I would have brought something to read"

"What has you so worried that you can't even tell Hange or the heichou?"

My question came reluctantly out of my mouth, as if my ability to fight was fading. I was already very tired and it seemed like days since I entered the dungeons.

"Noone would be able to understand"

"Oh please! Don't take me for a fool. Do you think that none of them are battling their own inner demons? Do you think that only you can have intrusive thoughts to fight against?"

His comment irritated me to the core. I never found Eren such a selfish person, and to think that a year or so ago he was declaring his unconditional affection to all of his comrades.

What happened in the last year? What changed?

"Each one of them has to face their own internal wars every day"

Before my anger got the best of me, I took a few small breaths, calming myself. I wasn't going to put me on the same level of hatred and misunderstanding as him, even if it meant throwing away all the years we were together.

"Historia surely has to fight against the stress and the multiple responsibilities that being a queen entails, apart from fighting against the offensive comments of the military police"

Maybe the island has been rid of Titans for a long time, but that didn’t take away the fact that shitty people, like those who lived on the Wall Sina, decided to try and continue controlling the poor people who were split the loin so those ungrateful would have a feast every night.

"Connie is struggling every day against losing his other half, his twin"

Connie, Jean, everyone ... EVERYONE! We were fighting and suffering the mourning of Sasha, of our teammates.

"Shit, surely Jean is still struggling with the memory of Marco after so many years"

Yes. No one had forgotten Marco, especially Jean. But we had to learn to keep going on that very day, we couldn't afford to get sentimental and spoil the next missions. From that day on we learned to watch over our dead mates in silence.

"I fight every day against my incompetence"

And now was the time that I could begin to veil my demons once and for all.

Already my body was begging to rest. I had laid my head on the wall and fixed my gaze on the ceiling. I heard the chains move at my side, a sign that Eren was moving, but I didn't have the strength to look him in the face.

"I fight every day against the image of Sasha dying in my hands"

I know that memory is going to haunt me until the day I die.

"I fight every day against the memories of our comrades dying in battle"

I saw countless deaths throughout the year 850, so many that I decided to use my knowledge in medicine to help even to stop a bleeding. I still remember the first suture I made to a mate already lost in battle ... I was so excited, so happy to be of such help.

"I fight every day against the idea of ​​not being enough"

But that exaltation led to thousands of failures. People who had bled internally, who had lost an arm and couldn’t get to cauterize, hundreds who had lost half their stomach or head.

"I fight every day against our enemies on the other side of the sea"

I wasn't going to deny it, learning the pure and exclusive truth of the world, I couldn't help but feel a deep hatred for the Marleyans. I wanted them to pay for the countless deaths and suffering they had caused, I wanted to see them burn, but at the same time I wanted a reasonable explanation.

"I fight the memories of the titans devouring our friends"

Memories of the first day in battle, right at our graduation, when we thought that nothing could happen. How naive we were. And to think that that was just the beginning of a long list of events that would bring us to this moment.

"I fight every day along side with the memories of the team escaping from the base and messing it up to enjoy the summer nights"

Memories of when we would sneak into the palace and take Historia with us, enjoying the air in our faces and running in the valleys of the countryside. Memories of when we ran cows for some strange reason at the beginning of the day.

Memories of when we were racing with the 3D movement gear through the great forests outside the city. Memories of the occasional punch in the face against the bark of a tree for not knowing where we were going.

"I fight every day against the image of the big bright turquoise eyes that I fell in love with"

My gaze fell on those same eyes, but instead of finding the description that I wanted to see so much, I only found grayish green eyes, eyes that had lost all their brilliance.

I found eyes full of tiredness and anger for the world. The brilliance that so characterized Eren had been lost; now I would have to settle for a blank stare.

"I fight every day ... against the memory of our return to the rooms and Levi punishing us for weeks"

My voice was breaking as I remembered the nights when only Eren and I would sneak out to spend quality time alone. Those nights where we would lie down to see the stars or to lose ourselves in each other in some meadow.

I look at my hands, they were shaking. I couldn't help but remember the first night we spent together, back then I was shaking too, but Eren's hands on my cheeks dispelled any doubt or fear that I could ever have. I unconsciously smiled at the fond memory and I think Eren did too, as I heard a little laugh coming from him.

But no matter how much smiles and laughter the memories gave me, I had to go on and face the world that was now in front of me.

"I fight every day ... against the idea of ​​running towards you, towards your arms"

Those arms that one day gave me warmth. Those arms that one day hugged and covered me the moment I found out that a mate had died. Those strong arms that I knew were going to protect me from any harm.

"I fight against the hope that this is all a nightmare, that you are going to cradle me in your arms and tell me that everything is going to be fine, that it was just a bad dream"

My gaze returned to his, now filled with tears. It hurt, the cruel truth hurt a lot.

"I fight against the desire to stay by your side"

Eren's face was dark, he had returned to how he was at the beginning, without any trace of that soft laugh I heard a few seconds ago.

"I fight with my inner voice that tells me that everything will be fine, that in a few years it will not hurt as much as it does now"

Maybe ... maybe I can start over and when all this nefarious war is over I can find peace, once and for all, and enjoy my friends.

"I fight to move on"

...

"I fight every day...against you"

That was it.

I stood up heavily, wiping the tears from my cheeks with the back of my hand. The blood on the floor was already dry and had left the entire back of my pants stained. I hadn't noticed that the air had been permeated with the iron smell of blood, making my vomiting reflex worse, even though I had avoided it in a good way all this time.

"If you want to free yourself from this cell, go ahead, I'm not going to stop you"

His figure was already fully regenerated and I knew it was a matter of time before he transformed and left this filthy place. Eren might trust what he was doing was the right thing to do, but if he didn’t accept that in the eyes of the world, that in our eyes, his friends, the only family he had left, couldn’t understand his actions, then there wasn’t much to ask from him.

If he wanted to betray us, let him do it.

“Do what you have to do to fulfill your dream, I don't care anymore. But don't expect for me to sit around and wait for you"

"Are you planning to go to the other side of the sea?"

What a stupid and dubious question at the same time. Was I willing to leave my life in Paradis to start over even in the lands of the enemy?

No, not at all. Why I was no traitor.

"No Eren, I am not going to Marley, my family is here...but you are no longer part of it"

Those words hurt, but they needed to be said; that way I could already start to heal.

"Is that all you have to say?"

I couldn't tell if his words were mocking or a sincere question. But yes, it was all I had to say. I couldn't spend another minute in front of someone I didn't even know anymore.

"It's all I can bear"

I took one last look at the prisoner in the cell before turning and continuing down the long corridor of the dungeons.

"Are you leaving so soon? I thought I heard you would stay as long as it takes for me to speak"

As I reached the door, I took a deep breath of the foul smell of the environment. My hand lay on the doorknob and was half open when his words reached my ears. There was no need to shout from a distance, the echo of the stones made it easy for me to hear the smallest whisper of the perpetrator. I opened the door, but not before dedicating my last words.

"Goodbye Jaeger"

And behind me, I closed the door.

[bokebelle]

until the end, my love.

WARNINGS: aot ch. 139 spoilers. mentions of grief, angst

PAIRINGS: eren yeager x gn! reader

TAGS: oneshot, angst, canonverse(?) au (idk if this counts as canon divergent)

WORDCOUNT: 1k

A/N: i know im late to the last chapter pain but thats not gonna stop me !!! i was really feeling it when I was writing this i actually cried LMAO but the song i was listening made me sadder than my actual writing so if you wanna be sad with me listen to this song // thank u @lemvis for beta reading and for crying with me ily

Your eyes were closed as you leaned against the tree. it was quiet, save for the sound of the wind gently rustling through leaves. it felt familiar; it felt like home. your mind goes back to the days of your childhood, before the fall of Wall Maria. Days spent crouched over a book while Armin explained what was scrawled on its pages. Sunny mornings walking around in peaceful silence with Mikasa. Quiet afternoons, such as this, laying on the grass with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, allowing the noises of the world to lull you to sleep for just a moment.

It felt like a lifetime ago, when in reality, it was your everyday life almost 10 years ago. Time in between was a hazy. The three of them joined the Scouts while you chose to stay. You promised you would be there whenever they came back, though you were terrified that there would be a day there would be no one to greet you whenever the Scouts returned. But as fate would have it, they all came back home, sometimes bringing back new friends for you to meet. It was all a blur now. Their return to Shiganshina, Armin talking nonstop about the day he finally saw the ocean, to when they learned about the existence of some place called Marley, it was all a blur in your mind - or maybe it was your mind willing you to forget. In between those years, fate made it so you couldn't forget that you and Eren fell in love. You don't know how you two fell in love, or when it started, but one night, before the three of them had to leave yet again, you clung to Eren and hugged him tightly. You cried into his chest, worried about how maybe one day, they wouldn't come home. He held you tenderly, softly wiping the tears that stained your face. Suddenly, he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on your lips - a promise that he would come home to you no matter what it took. It was a promise he never broke. Each time he came home, he gave you two kisses: one because he loved you, another as a promise that he'd come home to you time and time again.

You took a deep breath, letting the crisp air fill your lungs. Times would change, plants would wither and new ones would bloom, but your love for Eren throughout the days stayed the same. You couldn't stop the bitter tears that stung your eyes when you remembered that while your love was set in stone, the only piece of Eren you had left was a stone with his name engraved on it, a painful reminder of the boy who sought freedom, the boy your love belonged to. a place of rest for him, and a place of mourning for those who remembered him.

The grief in your heart had mellowed, but you couldn't deny the familiar ache when you think about the boy that could have been yours. You never got over your grief, and you accepted that you never would. Instead your heart grew around it, changing its shape to feel whole again even with grief taking up the place left broken by fate and her cruel ways. Your heart was left broken, but its jagged edges dulled over time. Though some days they cut you deeper than you had thought, leaving you broken and in pain, you learned how to get up and move on, nursing the pain until it went away.

"Eren, everyone will be coming to visit you soon. Aren't you happy?" you whisper, letting the wind carry your voice to where you hoped Eren would be able to hear. You kept your eyes closed, willing the tears that were threatening to spill to remain at bay. It felt like one of those days from what felt like another life. You could almost trick yourself into believing that Eren was asleep right next you, right where the stone that bore his name laid. You could almost convince yourself that the reason you kept your voice low was so you wouldn’t wake him up. You could almost convince yourself that when you open your eyes, he would be there, that Eren was finally home, and that he was here to stay. Almost.

The truth was, you were afraid to open your eyes, knowing there was nothing left of the boy you loved except the memories you shared and the half of a heart that still seemed to beat. The truth was you wanted to scream, you wanted to shout, you wanted to cry to the world. You wanted to do anything that would wake Eren up. Anything that would make him place two kisses instead of one of your lips, wipe away your tears, and assure you that it was all a bad dream and that life with him was reality. You took a deep breath and did your best to swallow the lump that formed in your throat. As long as your heart beat for Eren, you would always grieve for him. Your grief wouldn’t come in angry cries or bitter tears. Your grief would come in a promise to live a free life, the way Eren would have wanted. It would come in afternoons by the tree of your childhood, staying a bit longer on days your heart looked for the green eyed boy who always sat by your side. Your grief would come thinking about what life could have been if Eren came home.

It was young love. maybe a bit naïve, a little hopeful, but it was real. Yours was a love that was reckless and passionate. A love that kept you warm on cold winter nights and kissed your skin during bright summer days. If your love was a person, it was Eren. The person you shared it with was the embodiment of the love you felt. It was a once in a lifetime love, with a once in a lifetime boy. But the problem with lifetimes is sometimes one lifetime didn't match the other. And while it could be said Eren spent his life loving you, you were faced with the bittersweet reality that while you would spend the rest of yours missing him, you would forever be thankful that fate made it so that you love and were loved by Eren.

tagging: @onwiings @wxstoria @crapimahuman @novasblogs @hannie2kay @tanakaslastbraincell @toji-dabi-wife @lazyezstudy @ereh-simp @dukina @enby-bpd @oblxvion @bakugohoex @6oldie @leviverse

[ratmonky]

Untamed Dog

Word Count: 10K

Warnings: non-con, major spoilers, predator/prey, biting, manipulation, gaslighting, breeding, blood and violence

AO3 Link

A gift to my friend and one of my favorite artists, @workofann​  

When King Fritz failed to retrieve his people to the island after the Great Titan War, all of the Eldians became slaves to Marley.

All of the nine titans were under the Marleyan army’s control, warriors who inherited one of the seven titans would receive the Marleyan title and a red armband along with the promise of a better life for their family even after their inevitable death.

The Wilbur family kept the Warhammer Titan and the Founding Titan was being fed to an ordinary Eldian family to keep it safe. Or rather keep Eldians in place, taking their hope of freedom away.

The remaining of the seven titans were hung down on a rope around a stick to trick Eldians into having power. Marley made Eldians believe that inheriting one of these titans could bring comfort to their life.

As long as someone inherited one of the titans, their entire family would live in comfort instead of poverty.

That silly promise worked. Since the many Eldians were living in poverty, they were willing to do anything to have a better life. Even if it meant to send their kids to death.

Eldian warriors started training from the moment they hit puberty and up until the moment they became adults. Only then, they were able to inherit the titans they were attained to.

In the hopes of living a better life, you were one of the many kids who had joined the warrior training program when you were little. You grew up in the army and experienced the destructive war from an early age.

You were lucky enough to be taken to the warrior candidate program later on. Which pretty much ensured your death but the impending truth that you were going to die for this country was honoring in a way. It was the least you could do, dying in the name of Marley was something you owed to them after everything devils like you made them go through.

In the end, it was all decided from the moment you were born with an armband to your left. Like many, you were carrying the blood of the titans, the curse of Ymir. To be freed from the shackles of the ‘devil’ title, you had to prove your loyalty to Marley. Dedicate your heart to your country.

You did.

So did your comrades.

However, only six of you could inherit one of the seven titans the Marleyan army used.

~~~

“My gear is totally dead,” you sighed, standing on top of the wall surrounding the enemy’s town that your comrades had destroyed, trying to take your eyes away from the mass of bodies scattered along almost every single inch of space, “I have no gas left.”

“Rookie mistake,” Jean snickered, trying to regain some humanity he had left. “We’ll go get some for you as soon as the others are done with the serum.”

It became silent.

“Is dinner or breakfast the most important meal of a day?” Connie asked to break the uncomfortable silence between his friends.

“Both,” Sasha answered without hesitation.

“No, you should only choose one and it’s obviously breakfast, moron,” Jean sighed audibly, looking down from the wall.

The rest of the people looked tenser than ever yet you still managed to offer the trio a smile before giving your answer, “I’d say it’s dinner. It’s where you and your family or friends are home, safe and sound. Dinner is like a blessing, in my opinion, don’t you think so, Jean?”

Jean met your gaze and blushed bright red before averting his eyes to look around himself rather than the bloodbath covering them everywhere.

“He hates his mom so he wouldn’t know,” Sasha spoke without thinking.

“Sasha!” Connie warned, trying to tell the airhead girl that it was a rude thing to say.

“We all eat dinner together,” you pointed out, “Breakfast is hard to eat together when each one of us has different chores but we all eat dinner together. We are family even without blood.”

“You’re right,” Connie gasped softly. “I never thought of it that way. I mean this about eating dinner together, of course. The family part is kinda weird though, you know since some of us will die no matter what.”

A cold breeze brushed their skin. Sasha anxiously started biting the inside of her cheeks.

“That’s why I think dinner is important.” You walked over to Jean and grabbed his bicep to pull him closer to the group. “At night, when we’re in the dining room altogether, eating and enjoying a meal together means that we’ve all made it through a day. We’re safe and alive, together.”

“I get it!” Jean pulled his arm free, “All this positivity won’t get you anywhere unless you stay on the lookout. We’re in the middle of a battlefield here.”

Only then the four of you came back to your senses. Connie had remembered why he had broken the silence. It was because his legs wouldn’t stop shaking or his jaw wouldn’t stop clenching. He shivered with the thought of what was going to happen soon.

Sasha remained silent yet anyone could tell how anxious she was with a single look in her direction.

Jean acted tough. He was worried but he knew better than to show weakness. He held his composure and even looked a little intimidating.

You on the other hand didn’t know what to feel or how to act. You weren’t sure why they were so worried. Even though you all had one more year left of your training, emergencies like this happened quite often. The Colossal Titan’s holder was about to die, so, of course, the Marleyan commander would order your commander to feed him to one of the only two candidates.

It was either going to be Armin or Bertholdt. One of them was going to become the Colossal Titan and the other one was going down a rank in the military to become a special force soldier.

It was that easy.

The weaker link had to leave. It was the rule of nature.

“You guys!”

You whipped her head around to see Reiner gliding through the air with his ODM gear to reach the top of the tall wall. He landed right beside you, looking rough and sweaty.

“Armin,” he breathed, “They gave the serum to him.”

Connie, Sasha, and Jean gaped but you were inanimate.

“He’ll be the colossal titan?”

“Yes, they’re going to kill us. It’s Eren and Mikasa’s fault, we’re screwed. Commander Erwin should have given the serum to Bertholdt!” Reiner gritted his teeth in anger. “Armin won’t be able to lead us anywhere-”

“Hey!” Jean pointed a finger at Reiner, “He’s the reason why most of us are alive. It was always him who saved us with his smart planning, alright?”

You nodded along while Sasha jumped down the wall to get to the other side of the opening so she could see what was happening. Connie followed after her right away.

“Bertholdt deserves the Marleyan title more than Armin,” Reiner confronted Jean.

The two of them were the only candidates for the Armored Titan, the way they were reacting and arguing was normal. In the future, it was going to be the same for them. Only one of them could inherit the Armored Titan. This argument was nothing but a desperate attempt to prove which one of them was worthy of a titan and ignore the impending truth.

It wasn’t how strong the soldier or how smart the soldier was. Marley didn’t choose its soldiers like that. They chose those who they could brainwash easily. The army wanted desperate young adults who were ready to dedicate their lives to a country that owed nothing to them.

It was nothing but pure manipulation. Destroying the lives of hundreds if not thousands of young people, just so seven of them could inherit these titans.

As the two of them were arguing, you walked to the edge of the wall, staring at the bloodbath of your enemies and titans, that would disappear in a couple of hours.

War Chief Zeke had gone a little berserk today with his titan but it was only normal. Everything had gone according to the plan, the rain of the titans was able to destroy most of the city while the Colossal Titan broke down the outer walls. Yet, nobody could foresee the enemy having the infamous titan spears. The Colossal Titan’s holder was hit by many of them, leaving him fatally injured. It was unfortunate that the last minutes of his life was here on the battlefield but it was one of the most fortunate things for the candidates who had enough time to be able to eat him.

Who deserved to be the Colossal Titan?

In your opinion, it should have been none of them.

Armin was smart, just like Bertholdt. however, they were both weak and childish.

You could guess that Armin was chosen only because Bertholdt still had some of his humanity left in him. Everyone knew he cried himself to sleep.

If you didn’t want to murder an entire country without remorse just so you could be blessed with that red armband, then you lost your chance.

Bertholdt should have known that.

Reiner probably knew that though but refused to believe the truth that was right in front of him. He was mentally unstable, making him the perfect new Armored Titan. Easy to manipulate, dumb enough to risk his entire being for the sake of Marley.

You took a deep breath to calm your senses and to block out the angry arguing happening behind you. There was a soft rumbling sound as you breathed out. At first, you thought it was your stomach thanks to the previous conversation with your friends about food but it was something louder.

Only then you realized that it was the faint screams of your enemies you had heard today, the memories of the loud squelching noises that happened when their flesh was being eaten by titans. It was all playing over and over and over again in your head.

Holding your hands up to cover your ears, you tried to block out the noises. Praying that they would stop but you were old enough to know prayers wouldn’t solve anything.

“(name),” Jean spoke through his teeth, he was still furious at Reiner. “Come on, let’s get you a new gas tank.”

You let your hands fall to your sides and walked towards him after turning around on your heels. The two idiots were having a staredown but as soon as you walked to the other edge of the wall, Jean wrapped an arm around you and jumped down. You held onto him briefly as he aimed his grappling hook towards a building on the verge of collapsing, at that moment he said something he shouldn’t have.

“People who obsess over the Marleyan title like that won’t get anywhere in life.”

You nodded in response, the title meant so little but the power of a titan… It meant everything.

As soon as you changed your gas tanks, it was time to go.

The enemy had already surrendered and there was nothing else you could do here.

“You brats.”

Turning your head, you looked at your captain. Both you and Jean saluted Levi as he walked towards you with an angry look on his face. Here it was coming, he was going to scold you for hiding to avoid the clean-up after the battle.

“Where were you?” he demanded an answer more than he asked.

“Uhh, we were with… Sasha and Connie. We were just… um… waiting for Commander Erwin to be done with the serum and-”

“I’m not talking about that,” Levi cut off Jean’s rambling. “Where were you during the battle?”

“We fought with our assigned squad, sir. Squad Leader Hanji gave us the orders to kill enemies on top of the walls with the titan spears.” You spoke clearly, still saluting, unlike Jean.

“That glasses saved our ass again…” Levi muttered under his breath. He then told you to stand easy.

Relaxing your posture, you looked at Captain Levi in the eye. “Squad Leader Hanji said they noticed the enemy on top of the walls at the last minute. Although our response was quick, we still couldn’t make it in time to protect our precious warrior, sir. Shall we go to sleep without dinner tonight again?”

Jean’s eyes widened at your words in panic.

“No need,” Levi sighed, eyes softening at your words. Even after so many years together, you were still oddly respectful and obedient when it came to your commanders. “You brats did good, nobody from our squad died. That’s why you deserve a break.” He pulled out his pocket watch to check the time. “Tell the others in the squad to gather at the entrance. We’re going to have cars coming in to get us to the harbor.”

“What about Eren?” you asked, knowing that he was most definitely with his friend right now.

“He’s my responsibility, you two should worry about getting everyone in the cars within an hour. If we don’t leave in time, we’ll have to take that shitty train.” Levi dismissed the two of you with a wave of his hand. “See you on the ship.”

“Yessir!”

“Yeah, sir!”

As soon as your commander walked away, Jean pointed a finger at your face threateningly. “You better stop that! Playing that obedient soldier thing is soooo dumb! You were gonna make us all sleep hungry again!”

“Well, I have to show them that I respect my country and army. When you show them respect, you get extra points. They think I’m a better candidate for the titan than that guy.” You were grinning from ear to ear. “That’s how you win, Jean.”

~~~

You were able to gather everyone at the entrance within an hour. The car ride took barely an hour but felt like hours thanks to your sore body.

In front of the ship, Squad Leader and War Chief stood next to each other as they were telling you and Annie about which rooms of the ship belonged to your squads.

“Make sure to get some rest.” Zeke took out a cigarette and placed it between his lips. “It’ll be a long trip until we make it home.”

“The monkey’s right! Get extra rest and eat lots! We asked Niccolo to make some warm food so better hurry up before it gets cold!!” Hanji crossed their arms over their chest with a large smile after giving you both the information papers about the ship and the schedule. “Good job on today’s battle!”

“Don’t praise them too much,” Magath said, appearing behind you. “We almost lost the Colossal Titan today.”

“Come ooooon, Magath, cut the young adults some slack! The Colossal Titan is in the right hands now. If you’re worried about Armin not being ready for the next battle, don’t worry!!! He will go under my titan training once we get back to Marley.” Hanji walked towards the General and put a hand on his shoulder. “We’ll sort it out!”

“Don’t touch me, devil.” Magath pushed their hand away.

While the two of them were about to argue, Zeke gestured with his head for you and Annie to walk away before you got caught up in it.

“You weren’t there for the cleanup mission,” Annie noted right away. “I had to carry all the corpses because Reiner was freaking out about Bertholdt.”

“I’m sorry,” you said. “I don’t have an excuse so I promise I’ll help you next time.”

She waved her hand towards her squad. “I bet you will.”

You noticed her smiling and scoffed while you gestured your own squad to come towards you. “I keep my word.”

“Yeah, we’ll see. You better learn to keep your squad in control, your idiots are more manageable than Reiner. You’re lucky to have those candidates with you.”

“You’re right. My idiots are easier to handle but that doesn’t mean they will inherit the titans. We’re a shitshow, your idiots have the courage, mine don’t.”

“We’re right here, (name),” Connie deadpanned and walked past you towards the ship after grabbing the paper you handed out to him.

“We have to train hard if we wanna be anything like these monsters,” you yelled after him but he was shaking his head, refusing to listen.

“Monsters?” Pieck raised a brow as she took a paper from Annie. “Is that what you think of your comrades, (name)?”

“No,” you said. “We spent all those years training altogether yet nobody from my squad can be compared to any of your strength.”

Pieck nodded languidly but Porco put a hand on her shoulder to push her forward. “Keep moving, we have to get food before that pig.” He gestured towards Sasha who stood at the end of the line with a worried look on her face, waiting impatiently for her turn to get on the ship.

“I’ll keep her busy, you guys should head inside.” You were smiling at them.

Pieck chuckled before leaving. “You’re too considerate for a warrior.”

“Uhh, where’s Armin and Eren?” Jean asked while taking the paper from you. He checked the planning and the schedule briefly.

“I don’t know, Captain Levi told me he would bring them here later,” you answered.

“Keep it moving, horse face,” Ymir shoved Jean away to grab one of the papers before walking away. “Good luck with the potato girl, (name).”

You looked at Annie who was already done handing out papers and was walking inside with her squad. Reiner was walking beside her, head down and shoulders slouched. He was still upset over Bertholdt losing against Armin.

“Um… Can we go inside now?” Sasha asked after ten minutes of standing outside.

“No, we’re waiting for uhh…. Armin.”

She sighed audibly and clutched on your arm. “You were right, dinner is the most important meal of the day… I’m so hungry, (name). Let’s go eat. Armin will find his way to the ship nonetheless if we wait for him… Please…”

Okay. Perhaps you could let her go now. Others must have gotten their food and all.

“You’re right, let’s-”

Sasha left your side and ran inside the ship without letting you finish your sentence. Sometimes, you wished you could be as honest as her. Life would be so much easier.

“(name).”

You stood at attention, keeping your head up.

“Commander Erwin!”

“At ease.” He looked around before speaking. “Is everyone from your squad inside?”

“No sir. Armin isn’t here. Eren from Annie’s squad isn’t here either.”

“Hmm, Levi will be bringing them here. We’re waiting for their car to arrive with the special force soldiers.” He put a hand on your shoulder and spun you around to pat on your back, pushing you forward. “Now, go inside and get some rest.”

You didn’t need to be told twice.

When you arrived at the dining compartment, Sasha was eating next to Niccolo who was still serving food. You walked over to the duo and the chef gave you a tray of food. “Good work today.”

“Thanks,” you replied and joined the rest of your squad on a table.

“I’m telling you, when I become the Cart Titan, I will have all of the ladies coming after me!” Connie smirked, “Everyone wants to get married to a Marleyan Warrior so they can live an easy life.”

“So you accept that no woman would tolerate you unless you have a red armband?” Ymir laughed. “Oh man… you are pathetic.”

The color drained from Connie’s face and he sat in silence.

“Besides,” Ymir said as you were taking the seat next to hers, “You’ll lose the Cart Titan against Pieck. That woman is unmatchable.”

You nodded to agree.

“Hey,” Jean hissed, slamming his cutlery on the table. “We’re all candidates. There’s no way of knowing who will get chosen and who will not be-”

“We’re the Paradis Squad, Jean,” Ymir groaned. “We’re the castaways, the second options, or better yet, we’re the backup plan for the Marleyan military.”

“Keep your voice down,” you shushed her.

“What? It’s the truth and nobody will hear us with the rumbling coming from the engine of the ship. We all know Armin got chosen to inherit the titan only because Bertholdt was a crybaby.” She took a bite from her bread and chewed slowly to speak at the same time. “That’s why you have to work harder than that Monkey Squad to be able to inherit whatever titan you're a candidate for.”

She was right but you needed her to shut up. The rest of the idiots hadn’t caught up with how unfair this candidate game was. Not yet.

“So you don’t wanna inherit the Jaw Titan?” Jean asked the most stupid question he could have.

“Why would I be in the military and become a candidate if I didn’t want to inherit the Jaw Titan?” Ymir was smirking widely, taunting the guys who saw as weak.

“But you keep saying we have no chance against those elite guys,” Connie whined.

“Oh, I will inherit the Jaw Titan. That Porco guy cannot even fight properly.” She had a dangerous glint in her eye as she glowered at Porco. He was omitting to her stare whilst eating next to Pieck.

“This isn’t a fair competition,” you added, tightly gripping your fork to stop the shaking of your hands. “You have to give it your best to win or it’ll all be for nothing. You’ll end up in the special forces and remain a devil in the eyes of Marleyans forever.”

“Dontcha worry, (name),” Ymir chirped, changing her tone effectively as she put her arm over your shoulder to pull you close. “You’ll inherit your titan. You’re the only one between these idiots who deserves to be a titan warrior.”

“Are you dumb?” Connie raised a brow. “(name) will never inherit a titan as long as War Chief is the Beast Titan.”

“He doesn’t get to decide who’ll inherit the titans. It’s Magath and the other Marleyans.” Jean spoke, his voice was blank, devoid of any emotion. “I thought our commanders decided which one of us it’d be when the time came but… apparently it’s the Marleyans who choose everything regarding if we’re inhumane enough.”

“Ah.” You could see it in his face. He was putting the pieces together slowly. After almost seven years in the military, he was finally grasping the bitter reality and the harsh truth of the future. “You realized that Armin wasn’t actually chosen for his talents, huh?” There was silence before you spoke again. “If you want to inherit a titan, you need to rid yourself of your humanity.”

Jean nodded knowingly and took a sip from his water with shaky hands.

It was half an hour later when the ship finally moved forward. It could only mean one thing… They were here.

Everyone except Ymir got up from their seats in the dining compartment. Seconds later the famous trio and Bertholdt walked inside.

“Armin!” Jean walked up to his comrade and hugged him while the other squad was welcoming their friend. “You’re too lucky!”

“Yeah, man! He’s gonna be treated like a celebrity now,” Connie was smirking as everyone from your squad started crowing around the blonde.

Armin blushed faintly, “I’m still me.”

“How does it feel?” you asked, curious if his body was going through any changes.

“Um, I don’t know.”

“Hey, where’s your red armband, huh?” Connie pointed at Armin’s yellow armband.

“He’s gonna get it when we get back home,” Eren replied instead and pushed his friend forward. “Now move away, we are starving.”

“Eren,” Mikasa warned, her eyebrows furrowing. “Everyone is excited, he’s the first one between you all to inherit a titan.”

Eren ignored her and walked towards the table Niccolo was serving food with Armin.

“He’s probably jealous. He just won’t admit it,” you reassured and patted on Mikasa’s back. “We’ll handle it, don’t worry.”

She nodded slowly and met your gaze. “Thanks.” After that, she reluctantly had to leave to join the special force soldiers in their own department.

Bertholdt was here for the last time, saying goodbye to his comrades. Soon, he would join Mikasa in the special force and if you were not careful you would too.

One year. Only one year left of your seven-year candidate program. Only one year until you inherited a titan or lost everything.

Anything could happen and things could go south. Just as today or when War Chief inherited his titan a couple of years ago.

Connie put a hand on your back and led you back to the table. You sat in between Ymir and Eren. The other three guys sat on the opposite side. Sasha was still busy devouring the food her supposedly lover had made for her.

“Shouldn’t you sit with your own squad?” you said jokingly.

“It’s none of your business.” Eren started eating, ignoring Jean who started scolding him for talking rudely.

Well, you knew he was upset that Armin inherited a titan before himself. The fact that his friend was stronger than him now hurt his ego and superiority complex.

“You should at least try to get along with people,” you said softly.  “After this year, we won’t be forced to hang out together anymore.”

“I am here to kill all of my enemies, not make friends.” Eren had never changed from the day he joined the candidate program. He was always hot-headed and full of an ego that couldn’t be humbled. In these seven years, he hadn’t once actually tried working together with anyone. He acted like he was better than anyone else. “It’s because of your stupid airhead that the Colossal Titan’s inheritor got injured. If only you paid more attention to the war, Armin wouldn’t have lost a year of his training.”

“Hey!” Jean raised his voice, “It was nobody's fault. Don’t go accusing people for no reason.”

His attitude was finally getting to you, making you drop your facade for the first time in years. “Actually, the Colossal’s holder got injured because of you. It was all your fault. If you hadn’t gone into a rampage like you always do, we would have noticed that the enemy had titan spears on top of their walls.”

Your comrades all stopped eating, Ymir was giving you a look for you to shut up and Connie was kicking you under the table. “You really went and said it,” Jean groaned.

Eren continued eating despite how badly his hands were trembling from anger.

“(name), let’s not start a fight,” Armin whispered but his advice went unheard.

“You know you don’t belong in the military,” Eren suddenly laughed. “Everyone thinks that you don’t belong here.”

“I don’t have anywhere to go,” you firmly answered. “This is the only place I belong.”

“You don’t belong in the military,” Eren insisted. “Don’t lie to your comrades.”

“Oh, now we’re comrades?” You glared at him and put your hand over your heart. “I pledged loyalty to serve Marley.”

“We all did.” Eren waved his hand dismissively. “There’s nothing special about you. I am here to kill all of my enemies, you’re here so you can live rich. That’s why I will inherit the Attack Titan and you won’t.”

For a single moment, your face showed pure panic at what he had just said.

“You really think that way?” Ymir forcefully scoffed, “What now? We’re all useless-?”

“You are. If you weren’t you wouldn’t be in this squad. You’re all nothing but a second choice.” Eren lifted his gaze up to Armin. “He is the smartest of them all, the Colossal Titan never needed a fighter. It needed a brain.”

Ymir’s smirk dropped and she let out a low sigh of discomfort. Jean and Connie were glowering at Eren while you were humbled by him once again.

You tend to forget how you actually were nothing. Titans needed a fighter, Marley needed a fighter. The Attack Titan needed a fighter.

You were only smart, you couldn’t fight as well as Eren and you weren’t a natural-born leader like him.

Against him, you had no chance of winning. This wasn’t about who was the smartest, the most powerful, or the most inhumane. Each titan needed something specific. The Colossal needed a brain, the Female needed strength, the Armored needed wrath, the Jaw needed speed, the Cart needed stamina and the Attack Titan needed… a leader.

Are you a leader?

“I will inherit the Attack Titan.” Your voice quivered but you stood tall and proud.

“You have no chance of winning against me.” He was confident, rightfully so.

It wasn’t fair! It wasn’t fair that you were in this situation, it wasn’t fair that Eren Yeager was going to destroy your life. It wasn’t fair that you were the one who got hurt all the time.

“You don’t belong in the military and you don’t belong here with us.” Eren put down his cutlery, nobody else dared to speak.

You were getting angrier and starting to tremble in rage. “I’m sorry but I’m not willing to run away from my responsibilities like you.” Your brows furrowed and your teeth were clenched as you practically yelled, “I will inherit the Attack Titan no matter what.”

Eren scoffed as he was looking at your eyes that were burning with rage, “Good luck, then.”

~~~

You were going to kill him.

“Don’t think much about it,” Ymir said.

“Y-yeah, he’s saying all that because he thinks he’s the strongest.” Sasha was trying her best to come up with words that would sound comforting but it was hard. She wasn’t present during your argument.

“He’s confident because his brother is the Beast Titan,” you hissed. “Zeke got lucky. If Mr. Ksaver hadn’t had a heart attack, he wouldn’t be here. If only the other candidate wasn’t away… Then he wouldn’t be the Beast Titan.”

“Hey,” Ymir warned. “Don’t say things that can get you in trouble.”

“Says the girl who bad mouths everyone.” You rolled your eyes in annoyance.

“A-anyway!” Sasha pulled the sheets over her head, “Let’s just sleep! You’ll forget about this tomorrow.”

“I agree with the piggy for once.” Ymir reached towards the candle and blew it out. “Goodnight, you two.”

“Goodnight,” Sasha murmured happily.

You were silent.

There had to be a way to get Eren out of the picture.

~~~

You couldn’t sleep, even though both Ymir and Sasha had already passed out. Today was exhausting for everyone yet every time you closed your eyes, you were seeing Eren getting the Attack Titan.

Kicking off your sheets, you jumped out of your bed to take a walk and calm yourself.

As soon as you left the room, you started wandering in the ship without a destination in mind. Without realizing it, you kept walking to the deeper, darker parts of the ship where there wasn’t a single light on. However, thanks to you being discalced, you could feel it when the floor under your feet changed height or direction. It helped you get around the tight hallways but you still had no idea of your whereabouts nonetheless.

Maybe it was a bad idea to be wandering around.

That was until you heard a sound that shook you internally. Your head whipped to the right, a large metal door was inviting you.

You could hear the familiar voices of people and hushed yelling from the other side of the door. Out of curiosity, you pressed your ear onto the door to listen.

“- stop causing trouble before they kick you out. If you don’t get the Attack Titan all of our parents’ efforts will all be for nothing.”

“You say that as if I won’t inherit the titan.”

That was… Those were the Yeager brothers.

“That girl, she’s obedient. She will get the upper hand if you don’t get your act straight, Eren.”

“It doesn’t matter if she gets the Attack Titan, you can give me your spinal fluid and I’ll eat her.”

“Eren!” A slam. You flinched, covering your mouth to keep quiet. Zeke had slammed his fist on a table or a wall. “Enough innocent Eldians died. You have to prove yourself worthy and earn the Attack Titan. Hanji and Erwin found who Marley was feeding the Founding Titan to. It’s some poor family by the outskirts of the city. We finally have all of the information we need. All you have to do is follow the plan.”

“The plan is that I inherit the Attack Titan, it doesn’t matter how I do it.”

Your heart was pounding, a cold sweat slicking your skin as you continued listening to them in terror. Did they want to betray Marley?

They were…

They were traitors.

“The plan is that you inherit the Attack Titan and become the symbol of hope for our people. If it weren’t for Levi or Mikasa, you wouldn’t be alive today. You need to prove to our people that you’re worthy of leading them to a better future. You must be convincing because nobody will riot against Marley if some bastard with anger issues eats the Founding Titan.” Zeke’s voice sounded conflicted. “Once you become the beacon of hope, you have to bring us peace. No more wars, Eren. We had enough wars.”

Eren spoke again after a long pause. “Do you think we should let them live after all they’ve done, Zeke?”

“Eren, we aren’t showing mercy to Marley. We are only ending the wars for our sake. Eldians have fought enough.”

Your eyes widened and a sickening smile spread across your face. This… This was your chance. You were going to become the Attack Titan. All you had to do was find a Marleyan, Magath… Anyone!

Taking a step back, you took a quick look around you before starting to walk further down the hall. As long as you revealed the truth about the Yeager brothers, you would inherit the Attack Titan. They were going to be banished and hopefully, executed. You were speeding down the hallway, keeping your hand on the wall to use it as a guide.

You couldn’t believe it, they were planning to betray Marley and eat the Founding Titan. Why would they even do that? You didn’t know and didn’t need to know. All you knew was that now, you were guaranteed to inherit the Attack Titan.

No matter how long you walked, you never came to the end of the hallway.

What if Commander Erwin, Captain Levi, and the Squad Leader Hanji were in it too?  

What about Mikasa and Armin? Were they in this too?

If you snitched on the Yeager brothers would they kill all of your other comrades?

They wouldn't, right?

Honestly, they were all better off dead.

You walked for a few more minutes until you had worked up the nerve to make a run for it. Your palm was clammy as you kept sliding your left hand on the wall and, without looking back, you darted down the hallway praying to whoever was listening that it wasn’t a dead end and would lead you to Magath’s office.

You got lucky and came across the dining compartment. At least you were getting somewhere, you only had to keep running. For a while, you followed the wall around without stopping but when you saw a silhouette ahead of the hallway, you skidded to a stop.

In the dark, you couldn’t make out who it was but you continued walking, hoping that it was a Marleyan or anyone you could tell about the Yeager brothers and their plan of attacking Marley.

There stood a glorious Marleyan soldier, Yelena.

You were going to win.

A wild grin spread across your face and you took a step forward at the same time Yelena became aware of your presence.

“Good evening,” she said, you could hear the smile in her voice. “Mr. Yeager.”

Your own grin dropped and you felt a large hand landing on your shoulder, gripping you tightly.

“Yelena, I told you to keep on the lookout.” Zeke’s voice was calm despite being caught. “This one eavesdropped on me and my brother as it seems.”

Yelena did something you had never seen a Marleyan soldier do to an Eldian before and she saluted Zeke. “My condolences, sir. Shall I kill her?”

“What?” It was you, voice breaking and heart hammering in your ribcage. What kind of conspiracy was going on here? “Miss Yelena, we have to tell Magath about this-”

“No, it’ll bring too much attention to us. I’ll handle it,” Zeke ignored your words and replied Yelena instead.

The woman nodded and stood at ease. “Is there anything else I can do?”

“Keep an eye on the hallways. I don’t need any more of these miscalculations.” Zeke’s hand moved to the back of your neck, he grabbed you tightly and turned around to walk away with you.

Your hands went to pry his hands off of you but it was futile, despite his looks, Zeke was stronger than you. As he was forcing you to walk the way you ran from, you spoke through your teeth. “I will kill you. I’m going to scream now and everyone will know that you-”

“We’re on a ship, (name). If I transformed right now, everyone would be dead. Everyone.” He was speaking calmly again but his grip around the back of your neck tightened, making you whimper in pain. “Do you want to risk it? I don’t think you would survive. Neither would anyone else other than Armin Arlert. If he managed to turn into the Colossal Titan before the ship sinks, that is.”

“You wouldn’t dare!” you hissed, biting back a sob.

“You don’t know where you stand just like Eren,” he sighed in irritation this time.

“Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to betray Marley? Don’t you feel guilty of the things we devils have done to them?” You were spitting out your words, an animalistic snarl rose up from your stomach. “You traitors!”

“The war must end,” Zeke said. “What we’ve done to Marley in the past was unforgivable but the way we’re being used as weapons against other countries… We will always continue to repeat history if we don’t end the war. And-”

“I will inherit the Attack Titan and stop you all.” Your limbs started to shake violently, you tried twisting your body to escape his hold but it was all futile.

“Didn’t you hear my brother? I can turn him into a pure titan and feed you to him.” Zeke leaned in to whisper, his voice carried a dark promise. He was serious.

You didn’t dare to utter a single syllable more. Your bottom lip was trembling as the realization of how bad your situation actually was started to settle in.

What you had thought to be your advantage against Eren was going to get you killed. You had no idea how many people were involved in this. Yelena had saluted Zeke as if he wasn’t a devil. A Marleyan bowed down before an Eldian.

How dare she betray Marley like that? Eldians did nothing but cause wars, you were all the devils who killed. You were a curse, a waste of space and air. To earn your place in this cruel world, you had to dedicate yourself to Marley. And-

Oh, how amusing to think like a loyal dog.

A giggle escaped from your lips.

Zeke raised a brow but continued forcing you down the hallway until the two of you reached a door. He pushed the door open and shoved you inside before walking after you.

“This is your first chance to prove yourself to me,” Zeke spoke. You immediately knew he wasn’t talking to you.

Stumbling forward, you fell on the ground. You used your hands to push yourself up as the door closed, seconds later you heard it being locked.

“Devoted as usual, (name).”  Eren crouched in front of you and grabbed you by your hair to pull your head back. “Do you think Marley would care if you died? I think they’d replace you with one of the many other soldiers.”

“Eren,” Zeke sighed. “Are you listening to me?”

The younger brother hummed lowly in response but proceeded to glare at the terrified expression on your face.

“She’s been brainwashed from birth by Marleyan propaganda. Every Eldian in Marley is like her. Their thoughts and motives are all the same.” Zeke took off his glasses and wiped them with a handkerchief he took out from his pocket. “I want you to teach her the truth and prove yourself to be a true leader.”

“Why should I? Is it so we can keep her alive?” Eren scoffed, lips curling up into a smile. “I wouldn’t mind killing her now, throw her off deck and tell everyone else she jumped herself-”

“Eren.” Zeke was tired, so tired of all the killings. So tired of the wars and deaths. He wanted peace. He wasn’t made for fighting, Mr. Ksaver knew that but still gave him the Beast Titan. Mr. Ksaver believed that Zeke could lead the Eldians to peace. To a life without any wars or deaths. Zeke knew he could lead his people to freedom but he couldn’t fight. He wasn’t powerful enough to eat the Founding Titan himself. That was the only reason he needed Eren for.

Why father?

Why did you fail at parenting your sons?

Grisha raised Zeke with hatred for Marley and tried embedding that fighting spirit he wanted so much into the little Zeke but failed. Immediately after his mother, Dina’s death, Grisha married another woman and had Eren. Only then Grisha came back to his senses and raised his younger son with love.

Yet, Eren turned out the exact way he desperately wished Zeke would be like when he was raising him.

Ironic if not poetic.

He sent both of his sons to the candidate program and here they were; Zeke trying his best to speak some sense into Eren while all his little brother talked about was killing everyone.

Kill. Kill. Kill.

Wasn’t he tired of it all?

He returned to the present, barely a second had passed.

“If you can’t convince one Eldian woman to join our cause then you’re not befitted to inherit the Attack Titan. I can always find another candidate who will take orders.” Zeke’s tone was colder than ice. He put his glasses back on and glowered down at his younger brother.

Eren’s sinister smile faltered and he frowned. “Why does it matter?”

“Don’t you understand?” Zeke clapped his hands together, raising his voice. “How can I give you the power to lead all of the Eldians if you can’t even lead a single brainwashed woman?”

“Fine.” Eren’s grip around your hair tightened and he slammed your face onto the ground out of a sudden.

You tried breathing but when you inhaled you only tasted blood. Your nose was bleeding furiously and the pain was unbearable. A whimper escaped your lips, his attack had been too abrupt.

“Eren!” The older brother took a step forward to stop his younger brother.

“Get out, Zeke.” Eren lifted your face up from the ground to show your blood-covered face to his brother before slamming it back down with a ferocious smile.

“Don’t hurt-”

“What? I’m not killing her, I’m knocking some sense into her,” Eren replied nonchalantly, lifting your face up once again. He grinned at you and lied to your face. “She’ll be fine, don’t worry. Just leave us alone.”

Zeke hesitated, his eyes were on you who was desperately trying to mouth something. The bottom half of your face was covered in blood and the stream of blood continued painting your neck and nightgown red.

“Don’t you trust me, big brother?” Eren knew what he was doing.

“Y-yes,” Zeke dragged a hand up his face, lifting his glasses in the process. He let his cold hand rest over his eyes and turned around on his heels. “I’ll be back in the morning, I’ll tell Yelena to guard this hallway.”

Your voice wouldn’t come out, your lips were trembling too much and the pain was overwhelming your senses.

When Zeke opened the door and closed it behind him, Eren lowered his face next to yours, “A slave to Marley, that’s what you are, (name). Loyal dogs like you disgust me. Do you bark when you’re told to? Won’t you bark for me?”

You used your entire strength into collecting all of your saliva and blood you had in your mouth on top of your tongue and spitting his face.

Your spit landed on his cheek and he looked unimpressed. He stared at you with boredom before shoving your face down onto the ground.

“I’ve always wanted to mess up your pretty face, (name).” He carded his fingers through your hair almost lovingly as you gargled in your own blood, coughing repeatedly. “Maybe if you were in the special forces, I’d have the chance-”

“You’re more pathetic than I thought,” you got over your coughing fit and spoke clearly. “Do you really believe people will betray Marley just because some egoistic guy with a superiority complex has the Founding Titan?”

Eren stopped petting your hair and flipped you over so he could watch your blood-covered face as you desperately tried to talk your way out of this. “I’m a slave to no one. I’m more of a leader than anyone alive,” he said as he glared at you.

“Yeah and for how long? Thirteen years? You’ll die when you’re thirty-three, what will be your biggest accomplishment?” you laughed at him. He was too stupid to see the bigger picture but you were going to make him see it.

“Bringing freedom to my people and-”

“What about Mikasa?” you asked, cutting his sentence short. You knew his weak point, you knew he treasured her. “Don’t you want to grow old with her?”

“Oh, her?” Eren hummed in thought. “She’s more of a loyal dog to me than anything.”

Your face contorted into something vile in disgust, the way he was dehumanizing her, your friend and comrade… It... It hurt more than it should have.

“You’re full of filth, nobody would let you lead them,” you gritted your teeth.

“You’re also full of lies. I can see right through you, we’re the same.” He grabbed your cheeks by the sides with a hand and squeezed them until your mouth opened from the force. He used his other hand to wipe your spit from his face and he spat in your mouth. “That goody-two-shoes act? You can charm everyone but me with that. I’m not stupid enough to fall for your lies.”

You gagged, wanting to spit his spit back out but he had pried your jaw open, it was impossible to get it out. You had to swallow.

Eren watched with sick amusement and you helplessly swallowed his spit.

Then, laughter filled the room.

It was you.

Raising a brow, he stared at you. Maybe, you were finally going insane.

“You can’t feel good about yourself unless you prove yourself to be the strongest, right, Eren?” You rolled over to try to get up from the ground. “It must feel good to be entrusted with leading some idiots into what you call freedom, huh? You must feel like a God!”

“Did I break you already?”

You wobbled as you got back up on your feet. The front of your nightgown was covered in blood and you could still taste your own blood, smell it too. You lifted your nightgown up to your face from the collar to wipe your nose.

“Break me? Maybe my nose but I’m smarter than you are. I can see everything clearly, I’ve been watching these people for years. I know who you are, a pitiful little kid trying to become the strongest to prove his worth. You’re never good enough, right?”

“You don’t know me, (name).” Eren was getting angry, your assumptions were upsetting him.

“I know you better than anyone else, Eren. You’re just a brat trapped in an adult’s body. You believe the answer is to kill all of your enemies and you’re worth nothing to anyone. Nobody likes you but your only two friends. One has already signed his contract to die and the other one is nothing to you, right? A pet as you said?” You were chuckling, taunting him to fight you even though you knew he was going to win. “I was at least smart enough to make them all trust me. If I become the Attack Titan, I will become a leader loved by everyone. I could carry out Zeke’s plan and follow orders better than you do. Don’t you think Zeke would love to have someone who obeys his orders to inherit the Attack Titan?”

His brows furrowed and he grumbled as he spoke. “You don’t believe our cause. Zeke won’t trust you.”

“Oh, now it’s your cause? I thought you were in it just to feel powerful! Are you just feeling threatened by me? Is it because you know I’m better than you?” you barked out a laugh, “You don’t know me at all, Eren.”

It was quiet for a long moment. He didn’t speak or move. Neither did you. Not until you decided it was time to end this.

“I’ll inherit the Attack Titan for you and carry out Zeke’s mission. You’re too much of a coward to obey simple orders because you’re way too narcissistic to listen to anyone other than yourself.” You grinned, your blood-stained teeth and lips looked eerie in the dark dim light of a candle. “I’ll lead my people to freedom.”

“You’re brainwashed. You only want to serve Marley.” He was trying to remind you of something so dumb, just an accusation without any real evidence.

“Did you believe all that because I said it?” You took a step forward, pointing a finger at him and giggling. “Do you really believe I would be a slave to some country or a person like you? I live for myself and I have the blood of the devil inside of me. I am a dog that can’t be tamed. But you, Eren Yeager, you’re nothing. Just a feral dog.”

“I’m going to kill you.” Eren took a couple of steps forward and brought his fist up in the air.

“Is that all you can do?” You started walking backward to avoid him. “Is that your solution to everything? Just kill the person who doesn’t agree with you? You’re talking about killing too much. Are you going to kill everyone but the Eldians to bring them peace? Is that your smartest plan? You’re pathetic.”

“I’m going to beat you until you can’t run your filthy mouth again.” Eren leaped forward and grabbed you by your nightgown, now, he had you in his hands. “Any last words?”

“I bet your father never told you he was proud of you. Is that why you’re obsessed with power-”

Crack.

You felt the burning pain on the side of your face that wrecked your nerves as his fist met your cheek. It completely knocked the wind out of you and you found yourself on the ground, your body bounced on the solid surface before blood splattered out from your mouth.

“Your face looks better when it’s battered up like this. Red is definitely your color, (name).” His tone was light, almost as if he was finally feeling himself. “And you said I didn’t know you!” He let out an airy chuckle.

Writhing in pain on the ground, you reminded yourself that the pain was temporary. If you let him win now, you would never be able to win against him.

“I’m not…” you groaned in pain before continuing your talk. “I’m not some special force soldier you can toy with. Those poor girls may be scared of you but I can assure you that you don’t scare me, not even one bit. You’re nothing but a man child in my eyes.” You stood back up, refusing to stay down. “You can mess with all the girls you want below your rank but the power you feel over them won’t last forever. It barely lasts two minutes, is what I’ve heard.”

Despite how much pain you were in, you smirked at him as he stood right in front of you, his height towering over yours.

“I’m going to wipe that smile off your face.” Grabbing you by the neck with one hand, he turned you around and pulled you flush against his chest. You struggled against his hold but it was useless, you were far too exhausted and the earlier fight had taken the last bit of your stamina away from you.

Eren nosed some of your hair out of the way and breathed into your neck before taking a deep inhale. The sweet scent of you and your blood filled his senses, his eyelashes fluttered with unsettling joy.

“I bet,” he whispered, lips brushing against the shell of your ear. “They won’t let you inherit the Attack Titan if you were pregnant.”

With that, he pressed himself against you and forced you to feel his growing bulge beneath his pants.

Your eyes widened and you fought back with renewed vigor, ferociously kicking and shaking your body. “I’ll kill you if you touch me, you bastard! Do you hear me? I’ll feed you to the dogs!!”

“No need for that, (name).” Eren squeezed the sides of your neck, pressing you harder against his body. “You called me a feral dog, right? I’ll fuck you like one.”

You shook your limbs trying to dig your nails into the skin of his arms to fight back but he stopped you with one single move.

Eren opened his mouth and let his teeth sink into the soft skin of your neck. A scream escaped your lips as he bit you harder until he tasted blood and wrecked all of your nerves. Your arms flailed uselessly by your sides before your entire body went limp.

His free hand moved up to knead the supple flesh of your breast as he continued biting you and rocking his hips into you.

Once he decided he couldn’t take it anymore, Eren took his hand away from your breast and hurriedly tugged down his pants. You whimpered and tried twisting your body away from him but his bite on your neck was like a predator’s, it didn’t let you move anywhere. Like a lion biting into a gazelle’s neck to keep it in place before ferociously devouring the poor animal, Eren was keeping you in place with his teeth only. He wasn’t going to stop, not until he proved his strength to you. Not until he devoured you whole.

Your plan had backfired.

He pushed you forward and both of you stumbled forward. You fell on all fours and he stayed on top of you, still biting into your neck. Growling, he hiked the thin skirt of your nightgown up using a single hand.

A pained sob left your lips. “Please, don’t.”

Eren smiled into the bite. He always knew how to get under someone’s skin, no matter how thick it was. He also knew that his threat of impregnating you was nothing but a way of humiliating you, reminding you of your place, the power he held over you, and how with a single move he could ruin your entire life.

You were the one who was nothing.

The real untamed dog was Eren. Not you.

At least, that was what he wanted to believe.

How childish.

He was nothing but a manchild.

Eren slid your underpants to the side and pulled his cock out. You sobbed as he lined himself up against your entrance.

“I will kill you. I will kill you. I will kill you-ahh-”

With a sharp thrust of his hips, he inserted the entire length of his cock inside you. He slapped his large hand on your mouth to keep you quiet but it still couldn’t stop your muffled screams echoing in the room.

He had been wanting to do this for so long. Just to shut you up and ruin you, to remind you of your place. Ahh, the power he felt right now was indescribable. It was as if he was on the tallest mountain in the world and nobody else could reach him. He was the strongest. The best. The leader. The Attack Titan’s next holder and Eldia’s new King.

In his twisted mind, he was the ruler of everything. Him having you around him like this and ravishing you only boosted his ego but the feeling of a small train of blood trickling onto his cock and down your thighs made him go berserk with a massive amount of power.

The thought of your helplessness as he took your innocence like this made him grow larger inside your cunt.

He started moving without giving you a chance to prepare yourself for his cock. Involuntarily moaning, you curled your toes and bit your lip to hold back your next moan.

Eren finally pulled his teeth away from your skin and chuckled as he tentatively pulled his hips back before abruptly slamming them forward. “I’ve always wanted to do this.”

Placing both of his hands on your hips, Eren began fucking you frantically, putting his entire weight behind each thrust and stroking every spot inside of your walls. Your virgin walls started to take the shape of his cock, making you his perfect cock sleeve.

“You’re gonna regret this, Yeager,” you hissed but it broke into a moan as he mounted you completely, his hips moving with a frenzied speed, punching the air out of your lungs.

“So far, I’m enjoying it,” he whispered into your ear, his hot breath sending a shiver down your spine and causing your teeth to chatter rapidly. It was as if you were flung into a blizzard.

Your body wasn’t doing it because it was cold in the room. No. It was then, you felt it for the first time.

Fear.

He groaned in pleasure as he continued fucking you frantically like a rabid dog in heat. His pace was ruthless, each thrust of his hips was punishing and hit deep deep deep inside of your pussy.

You could feel the very shape and girth of him, he was embedding it into your memory. With each thrust, he was making sure that you wouldn’t be able to be fucked by anyone without thinking of him. You were only going to think of the smell of his sweat, the sharpness of his teeth, the shape of his cock, and his lingering, calloused hands. Nothing else.

Eventually, his animalistic pace slackened and his hips started to move staggeringly. He desperately tried stealing a few more thrusts to indulge in your warm and slick cunt by humping you like a desperate dog but your pulsating walls caught him off guard.

As your pussy clenched around his cock, he snapped his hips forward to bury his entire length inside of you. You gasped in unwanted pleasure when the tip of his cock prodded against your cervix, ready to paint your insides white.

Eren’s cock throbbed and thick spurts of his seed flooded your womb. You let out a horrifying sound and sobbed whilst the warm feeling spread across your belly. He pulled out to watch his cum drip out of your pussy with a sinister grin on his lips at the same time you felt tears streaming down your face.

He was cruel. Always had been. However, he had finally proved who was stronger between the two of you.

It was him, he was the strongest.

You had lost against the other candidate.

The most important of them all, you had lost your pride, all of that training you had gone through in seven years felt like it was for nothing.

“I will inherit the Attack Titan,” he declared, simple and to the point.

You nodded in response, throat clenching in despair as you cried in defeat.

[robinofinashiro]

“Baby, I am a wreck when I'm without you / I need you here to stay / I broke all my bones that day I found you / crying at the lake.” 

request status: OPEN

pairing: bertholdt hoover x fem! reader

note: pls send something in! my inbox/ask box zero req’s so if any of you have any ideas wanting to get out, feel free to ask. all my fandoms are pinned as well as my rules. 

you sat with Annie, throwing her small pieces of napkins as she annoyingly shook her head at you. you had been sitting down, doing absolutely nothing for the last thirty minutes as she tried to study. 

“where is everyone? you’re boring me out and I’m like ready to do something!” you exclaimed. she gave you a dead stare before going back to studying, “you’re no fun! i’m getting food. want anything?” you asked her. 

she replied with water as you stood up, smacking the back of her head playfully before running away. you made your way to the line with a basket full of your snacks and Annie’s water as your boyfriend finally making his way down the stairs with Reiner. 

“long time, no see,” you heard a voice say behind you. you turned around to see someone you felt like you hadn’t saw in centuries, “JAEGER?” you yelled a bit too loudly as you engulfed him into a bone crushing hug, “Eren! i haven’t seen you in forever!” you exclaimed. 

he laughed, scratching the back of his head shamefully, “my god, you grew your hair out, you look great!” you complimented, “damn, how is everything with Mikasa? are the two of you still together?” you asked. 

Eren nodded, “yeah, we’re going onto our two year anniversary soon. how are you and Bertholdt’s tall ass?” he joked. you playfully pushed him, “we’re great, we’re celebrating four years soon,” you saw Eren’s face change to confusion, “what?” you asked. 

Eren found it odd that in the four years both of you were dating, Bertholdt had yet to ask for your hand in marriage. 

he shook his head, “nothing, forget it. we need to hang out soon. i bet Mikasa and Armin would be excited to see you again!” you nodded excitedly, giving him your number on a napkin before giving him another hug, “of course, I’ll text you later to see when’s the next time you and the others free!”  you said before grabbing your things and leaving. 

as you walked away, Bertholdt stared at Eren, feeling as though Eren was basically eye fucking you the entire time you were talking with him. he knew you were friends with the teal eyed boy but he had never saw you so friendly with anyone before. 

“something wrong Bert?” Reiner asked. he shook his head, remaining silent, “hey, did you losers finally get out of class?” he asked. Reiner stared at you, before giving you the middle finger, “what was Jaeger doing here?” he asked. 

Bertholdt saw your eyes light up instantly, “honestly, no clue but it was nice seeing him!” you said, digging into your muffin, “there’s a part happening tonight, y’all should go,” Reiner asked, wiggling his eyebrows. 

you shook your head no, “Bert and I have a date tonight. we’re having our annual movie night tonight,” you said, squeezing Bert’s hand tightly, “but I know Eren’s been interested in hanging out soon so I’ll text him later tonight to see when they’re all free,” you added on. 

Bert tightened his grip on your hand at the mention of Eren. you found it a bit odd but thought nothing of it. the rest of the time that all of you were sitting together, Bert didn’t say much. given that he hardly said anything to begin with, he just couldn’t keep his eyes off you. it was like you mesmerized him all over again. 

Bertholdt couldn’t help but think of the first time he saw you. that very day was the day he knew he wanted to make you his. 

+ 

it was the first day of college. you had been moving all of your things into your dorm along you siblings and mother. you were excited to begin this new chapter in your life and although your mom hated the idea that you were sleeping in a co-ed dorm, she was happy that you were finally getting real world experience. 

you were sharing a dorm with a girl named Annie. you had only messaged her a few times, getting all her info and social media tags. she was bit on the shyer side, not really saying much when the two of you talked but you knew that she wouldn’t be a bad roommate. 

“text us when you’re done getting your dorm together,” your sister reminded you as she placed the box on the floor. you went the front desk, saying the rest of your goodbyes when you felt someone accidentally hit you.

your siblings immediately asked if you were okay, “I-I’m so sorry,” you heard a timid voice say behind you. you turned around to face the tallest person you had ever met, “you’re okay, don’t worry about it!” you said with a smile plastered on your face. 

his blond friend next to him laughed, “i think you’re our friends roommate! Annie is the girl right?” he asked. you nodded yes, “do you know her?” you asked them. you saw as the tall boy tried to stutter out an answer but didn’t, “yeah, we all went to high school together and managed to get into same college as well. I’m Reiner and this is my friend Bertholdt,” he introduced. 

you introduced yourself as your siblings told you they were heading out, them not failing to make you embarrassed as they warned you about not getting any crazy ideas while you were away. 

“we’ll walk you to your dorm if you don’t mind,” Reiner said. you gave them a smile as they pressed the elevator door, “not talkative, are you Bert?” you jokingly asked him. Reiner laughed at his reaction, “not really. we’re lucky if we get any words out of him and we’ve known him for years,” Reiner replied. 

you laughed, poking Bert’s side, “well, I guess I’ll just make it my mission to make you talk,” you told him. by the time you reached your dorm and opened it, you heard Annie groan from seeing them. 

“don’t tell me you’ve already made friends with them?” she asked you. you nodded yes, “great, now that’s going to give them a reason to be here even more,” she complained, “but now that you’re here, be useful with something and help me get something out of my car,” Annie stated, grabbing the blond by the arm. 

Bertholdt felt himself getting nervous, realizing that he was going to left alone with you. once the door slammed shut, Bertholdt ran his sweaty palms against his pants, not really knowing what to do or say. 

“so Bertholdt, you usually this awkward?” you joked again. he stared at you for a moment before feeling a blush cross his face, “uh, y-yeah, making friends isn’t as easy for me as it is for Reiner,” he explained. you gave him a look, with a small smirk playing at your lips. 

he felt his heart stop suddenly. yeah, he had felt nervous before but this was a feeling he had never felt before. even the tiniest of smiles made his heart race and even being at close proximity with you made him sweaty. 

wait. was this the feeling Reiner kept telling him about?

was this the feeling of actually liking someone? Bertholdt had really never liked someone before. given that many people thought that him and Annie would make a great couple, Annie had never saw Bert in that way and vice versa. 

finally pulling back into reality, he stared down at you before giving you the tiniest of smiles, “what has you happy all of a sudden?” you asked. he shook his head, “n-nothing,” he replied. 

+ 

later on that night, you were prepping the things the both of you needed for your movie night. you usually tended to Bert in your bed, basically attached to him like a koala as he held you close to his chest.

whenever the two of you cuddled, you were usually cuddled into him shirtless. he knew you liked his physique, he was tall, very built, and lean so whenever the chance presented itself, you would make him take his shirt off so the two of you cuddle ‘correctly’ as you liked to say. 

you heard a knock on your door, realizing that it was Bertholdt and ran to it. you gave him a smile, placing a kiss on his lips before letting him in. Bert on the other hand had other plans and bent down for another kiss, quickly making it steamier than usual. 

“where did that come from?” you asked a bit flustered, “just wanted to kiss ya,” he replied, making a beeline to your room. you followed as he had basically dragged you in there, crawling into bed as quickly as possible. 

you grabbed the remote for your tv as the two of you got to scrolling through the movie lists. it didn’t take long until the two of you finally found a movie, settling with watching ‘Singing’ in the Rain’, one of your favorite movies. 

for about an hour, you were engrossed with watching the movie, making side comments about how cute the couple was.

“what has you so affection tonight, Hoover?” you asked, your fingers dancing along his chest. he nervously touched the suede maroon box in his shorts as you remained silent, “I wanna ask you something,” he mentioned a bit quieter than usual. 

you gave him a concern look, “you’re not breaking up with me, are you? you’ve been acting really weird since I spoke with Eren earlier today and if you got any implication-,” Bert cut you off with a kiss, surprising you completely, “it’s nothing like that, relax,” he said. 

reaching into his pocket, he gripped the box almost feeling like his knuckles would turn white. you had covered yourself with the blanket, feeling the cold hit you. finally, Bert gripped your chin as a million thoughts ran in his head. he knew this was the next step in your relationship and oddly enough, he didn’t feel nervous at all. 

“marry me,” Bert whispered as he opened the box and showed the ring. you felt your heart stop in its tracks as you gazed at the ring for a moment before looking to Bertholdt again, “really?” you asked, feeling tears spring into your eyes, “yes, of course Bertholdt,” you exclaimed as you tackled him into a kiss.

 ‘You Were Meant For Me’ was playing in the background as Bertholdt pulled away and took the ring out of its box to place on your shaky hand. you couldn’t stop gazing at the ring as Bert wiped a tear from your face.

“Reiner is the only one who knew I was going to do this tonight and although he wanted me to give this big elaborate speech, you know that really isn’t my style.” 

you didn’t say anything back, jumping onto Bert again and kissing him, this time a lot steamier than usual. he was caught off guard but didn’t mind where you were going with this and let you continue what you were doing. 

“we can call everyone tomorrow. i want to spend the rest of the night with you,” Bert whispered into your ear, as he started to remove your tank top, “I couldn’t agree more Mr.Hoover,” you said smiling.

Bert for the first in what felt like a long time smiled harder than he ever had before, “I appreciate it, Mrs.Hoover. Mrs.( your name ) Hoover,” he said back. you felt your smile get even brighter before nervously giggling at hearing those words coming from him. 

you knew that everyone from Annie and up to your siblings would freak out about the news, but later that night after everything was said and done, both you and Bert sent a photo too Reiner. your hand was being held by Bertholdt as he showed the ring off to him with both your smiles plastered on your face. 

[emonaculate]

Swindle (I)

❥ AU: Modern!Mafia AU

❥ Genre: Future Smut / Angst / minor Violence

❥ Rating: 16+

❥ Pairing: Eren Yeager x Black!Reader

❥ Word Count: 1.9K

❥ Warnings Include: Domestic abuse, Profanity, Mentions of Rape, Murder, Violence, Corruption

Summary: Y/n L/n has been a world-renowned detective-turned-lawyer who has never lost a case, well that is until the criminal she is going up against, the notorious Eren Yeager, a man who just so happens to run one of the most dangerous mafia clans known to mankind, the Yaegerists. Will Y/n manage to beat this case too or will she fall to Yeager's charm and power?

Once her black heels connected with outside concrete, Y/n felt the flashing light of paparazzi taking her picture obsessively. She held onto her file folder and walked urgently into the federal courthouse. Y/n pushed her shades up, smoothed out her white button-down blouse and her black pencil skirt before entering the courtroom to see the jury and judge already being seated.

"I guess it's time to get this show on the road." She spoke to herself as she made her way to her seat.

Y/n sat down and checked the watch on her wrist, seeing that defendant was late. Her glossed lips remained in a respectful smile as she waited for the trial to begin. This case meant a little bit more to her than the usual ones; countless women and men have been going missing only to turn up dead or worse. While there was no real evidence of what was happening to them, all the data and clues lead back to international playboy Eren Yeager. Just his name alone carried enough weight that no one else from her firm even wanted to take the case.

The dark-skinned woman opened up her file case and looked over photos and evidence gather by the incompetent police force, she had a hunch that they were well aware of Yeager's ties to the crimes but had been paid off. No matter though, Y/n took down others with even less evidence, this was going to be a breeze. A light gleamed in her dark brown eyes as her smile grew wider, she had found the perfect loophole to get him before the trial even began.

"All rise!" She heard a loud voice announce meaning the trial had finally begun.

Y/n looked up, stood, and turned her head to see the nonchalant Eren Yeager leaning back in his seat, he didn't even look prepared to go to court. His long brunette hair was pulled up into a horrible-looking man-bun, the white button he wore was untucked and slightly wrinkled, pink lipstick marks littered his neck and Y/n couldn't help but roll her eyes in annoyance.

"You may be seated. And now we will commence the trial, Eren Yeager V..."

The woman stood up and moved out of her seat heading to the floor to speak; she walked past the male without a spare glance despite feeling his turquoise eyes greedily take in her form.

"I'd like to call on the defendant to speak. I just a few questions." The smile on her face was as polite as it was sinister.

"Mr. Yeager?" The judge looked at Eren and his lawyer.

"Sure." He shrugged and stood up heading to the floor as well.

Once Eren sat down, Y/n begun throwing her questions at him with the intent of getting him to slip up.

"Mr. Yeager, the first victim I'd like to bring up is your ex-girlfriend. Historia Reiss."

"Oh? You think I killed my ex?" He said slightly amused by her claim.

"Getting to that but first; as you know, all the evidence I have was given to me by Military Police, and it's no secret that evidence mysteriously disappears within their hands. So, I took it upon myself to do research."

"Well aren't you, a good little girl?" Eren hummed as he leaned over the banister.

"There's nothing little about me, however, I do pride myself on being a good girl." Y/n matched his banter whilst remaining professional, there was no way she'd allow him to get under her skin today, after all, she needed to avenge those poor souls.

"Back on topic, You and Miss Historia were a public couple for two months and then you just broke it off correct?"

"Correct. Mutual break up."

"So you had no problem seeing her with your brother just two days afterward? You felt no type of jealousy or anger?"

"I felt nothing at all. She was someone that lived in the moment. One day her favorite color was red, the next it was blue."

"Are you saying that Historia was just a fling?"

"Precisely."

Y/n's smile wavered for a moment and she bit her lip, knowing that what she was going to say next could throw the case from her side. It was risky but given how calm and collected Eren was currently looking, she knew she needed to get the jury antsy or at least stir something in the male to make him break or crack just a little.

"When Miss. Reiss's body was found, did you know she had been sexually assaulted moments before being shot to death? Her autopsy showed signs of struggling."

"..." Eren's eyes narrowed slightly as he looked at the woman.

"Miss. L/n.." The judge warned cautiously.

"My apologies. I have no further questions." Y/n turned prepared to walk back to her seat.

"I heard. I heard what happened to her. But no I had no part of it." Eren coolly breathed out.

Y/n looked back at him as she sat back down knowing that now it was time to bring out the big guns. She knew that there was no way in hell that he had anything to do with the death of Historia, but it was still a necessary blow to get him to crack and it certainly worked its magic. Even though the crack was no more than a small slither, it was enough for Y/n to slide through.

She took a sip of her water to wet her tongue as she listened to multiple victims' families break down and cry in front of Eren as they questioned the whereabouts of their loved ones' remains. Despite all of that Eren insisted he had no idea or part in any of it. Y/n stood back up prepared for round two, feeling confident enough that she was going to break him.

"As previously stated by others, most of the victims died in the same way and were women. I couldn't help but notice one fact."

"And that might be?" His guard was up, no longer holding onto that flirtatious persona, he had dawned earlier.

"They all rival the murder of your mother Karla Yeager."

And there it was, the mask that his face held came crashing down straight to the floor. Y/n's smile disappeared as well, nothing left but a solemn look as her brown eyes held a serious gaze with his rage-filled turquoise ones.

"My mother?" He sounded pissed and had begun to slightly shake.

"I told you, I did my homework. The autopsy for the late Mrs. Yeager, she was gunned down in midday light and no one saw anything, well know one but you. Am I correct?"

"Miss. L/n." The judge's voice boomed as he stared down at the woman in disbelief.

"Just a moment. Eren when your mother died, you were a young boy. So no one believed you when you protested about the 'titans' that took away your mother. And everyone that has been murdered besides Historia Reiss had a connection to 'Titans', excuse me, I mean the Marleyan Mafia." Y/n concluded not noticing Eren's face morphing into one of complete and utter rage.

"Now I have no further question-"

Y/n's words were cut off by the sound of an explosion, the commotion and debris sending her to the floor. The courtroom door burst open as Y/n began to sit up, the sound of gunshots rang off in her ears.

Screams and cries soon began to follow, Y/n's eyes widened in horror as she watched the body of the judge fall from his bench, blood splattering against the ground and oozing out of the open wound against his split opened head.

Eren stepped down from his stand and moved towards Y/n who shook on the floor. His face calm and collected again, despite the chaos that was raging. He gripped Y/n's arm harshly and tugged her up off the ground despite her struggle and stumbling.

"Drop the act, Y/n. The majority of the section has been cleared out." He finally said.

With his words, Y/n stood up straight as a smile formed on her face as she shoved him away from her.

"About time. I don't think I could sit through any more sob stories."

"That was a low blow about my mother, don't think you're getting off easy." He frowned gripping her wrist again.

"Oh? I did what I had to do. But consider it payback for all the other dirty work, I've had to do for you."

"You like getting dirty for me." His hand trailed up to her face as he squeezed her jaw tightly.

"Not when it involves me dealing with those perverted pigs at the station. Now let's go, I'm sure Armin is waiting for us."

She shoved him away again and turned on her heel walking past the fresh corpses toward the back exit that had been cleared completely out, Y/n gave Eren a blank look pausing in her steps.

"You owe me a new pair of shoes by the way."

"You keep giving me attitude and we'll see who owes who," He warned as he pulled out his phone to call Armin. "Blow this shit to hell."

Y/n watched him give commands over the phone and bit her lip, it was making her feel some type of way. God, it had been too long, a year without any real contact to ensure that this latest plan would work. Most of the jury had been people with ties to the Marleyan gang that Eren had been plotting to take out. The only way to get so many of them in one place was to have a trial and make it look as if it was certain Eren was going to jail.

"You know that if you come with me, you'll be a wanted woman." Eren voiced having hung up on Armin.

"Come on, you going soft on me Yeager? What happened to the only way out is death?"

He walked up to her and placed his forehead on hers silently. Y/n knew what he was trying to say, he had a superstition that if he admitted he loved her vocally, she would wind up dying just like everyone else he loved.

"I'm not leaving you. Now let's go before we get blown the fuck up." She mumbled softly as she pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

He laughed and held onto her hand as she made her way to the car that had been planted for them to escape in. The model was an old and retro mustang with a classy red paint job.

"Connie?" Y/n questioned as she slipped into the car.

"He thought it would look badass if we drove away from an exploding building with a mustang." Eren rolled his eyes whilst getting in as well as revving the engine.

"I gotta admit, it does sound hot."

Eren rolled his eyes and began to count down from ten, continuously revving the engine waiting for the explosions to begin. Y/n leaned back in her seat with a crazed smile on her face, the thrill of living life on the edge was getting to her again. Out of nowhere, the planted bombs began to go off one by one. Eren stepped on the gas and sped away from the sounds, the car jumping and bouncing from the debris of the explosions hitting against the car. Y/n held onto her seatbelt and laughed whole-heartedly as she looked at her boyfriend whose eyes were trained on the road, and that's when she knew she meant what she said.

She would follow him until the day she died.

[levisnackajack]

The Wrath of War

A/N

Omg, I have no idea why but I can’t stop thinking about writing an OC x Levi Ackerman story. Please let me know if you’re enjoying the story; I’m always happy to hear some input! Also, if you’d like to be tagged, tell me!!

Chapter Two

The next three years passed like the blink of an eye. 

The cadets’ routine was ruthless; waking up before the sun was out, training until their muscles made them crumble to the floor; feasting on the tiny amount of rations they were allowed to have. 

The cycle deeply reflected Eden and her physique. Gone were her baby cheeks, rather replaced with sunken cheekbones and a defined jawline. Although she was barely 5′2; the rancorous training had made her build a lot of muscle- which remained veiled under her delicate-looking body. But it was definitely there. 

Her pale face held large, beautiful hazel eyes always focused on an agenda. Her teeth were constantly tugging on the flesh of her full lips- leaving them bruised and colored all shades of purple. 

Eden had a very tough time learning to balance in her ODM gear. Mikasa was a natural, Armin learned quickly and even Eren- who experienced difficulties as well- managed to prosper. 

But with the older girl, she just couldn’t find the peace in her soul to simply let go and effortlessly balance like the others did. 

It even took overtime for her to manage harmonizing with her equipment. And it was heavy. The first week of learning how to use the ODM gear; she could barely get up of her bed without biting back tears of pain. 

Sparring was different. Her height and weight allowed her to gain momentum and slip out of dangerous situations; even in the last moment. She loved sparring with her friends, although she would always drag them to the infirmary afterwards to ensure all was good. 

Eden would mostly keep to herself if she wasn’t around her friends. She was on civil terms with the rest of the team; but she always preferred some alone time. Which is why she loved sneaking out after curfew and take walks amidst the coldness of the nighttime weather.

“What the hell are you doing out here, Eden?” A gruff voice broke through the semblance surrounding the girl. She winced slightly, narrowed eyes looking into the darkness. 

“What does a girl have to do to get some alone time around here?” 

A snort erupted through the darkness again; the broad figure moving to sit beside her. In the dim aura; Eden barely managed to catch a glimpse of Jean’s chiseled jaw clenching. 

“You ready for tomorrow?” He asked her, running a hand over his tamed, blond undercut. 

It was now Eden’s turn to scoff. “I have no clue. The final exam beat me to a pulp. I just need to know whether I aced it.” 

Jean let out a humorless chuckle, shaking his head as he placed his elbows against his knees. “You must be joking. If you’re worried about how you did; then the rest of us are fucked.” 

Eden’s fingers stroked the ground beneath her; the coarseness of the sand  juxtaposing the soft, delicate skin on her palms.

“We’re all fucked nonetheless. I mean, we’re basically signing up to be a Titan’s meal someday. Stupid...” She clicked her tongue, eyes focusing on the pebble held between her dainty fingers. Jean gently took it out of her grasp and threw it in the nearby stream. 

“I guess. But, we’ve already signed up as Titans’ meals the moment we appeared on this Earth. We’re just increasing our chances right now.”  

Eden paused, her teeth pulling at the cracks formed against her lips. She chewed on the inside of her cheek, feeling the metallic taste pool in her mouth; urging her to stop. 

“Eren, Mikasa...Armin. I need to know that they’ll be okay. We vowed to become part of the Survey Corps branch. But I sense destruction. I can taste the pain and suffering humanity will experience. I don’t know what or when this will happen; but when the Titans do come back; our plan will come to life. And then, the chances of being killed will heighten. If something were to happen to them...I-I...I don’t know what I’ll do...” Eden squeezed her eyes shut, sucking in a deep breath as she turned her head away from the cadet beside her. 

Jean placed a large hand on her shoulder, squeezing her slightly- but remained silent. 

They remained quiet until the grasshopper’s songs grew louder; inviting them to go back to the barracks and sleep through the few hours before their graduation. 

[too-attached-to-fiction]

A Princess Doesn’t Cry | g.w.

Not a george weasley gif but still applies oop

Masterlist here

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

Warnings: implications of suicidal thoughts

Word count: 1585

Request: Can you write a George Weasley fic based off of the song Princesses Don't Cry by Aviva? Fluff or angst, or both? I love your writing so much!!!

A/N: of course, lovely! I live for stories like these, considering I’ve always wanted someone to do this for me… I hope you enjoy, and feel free to request again! This was the first time I listened to this song and it hits so hard...

ALSO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES OUT THERE!!!! MY MESSAGES ARE OPEN IF YOU NEED AN EAR, BUT I AM IN NO WAY A THERAPIST AND SHOULD NOT BE TREATED AS SUCH.

~~~

No, I'm fine, I'm lying on the floor again / Cracked door, I always wanna let you in / Even after all of this shit, I'm resilient / ‘Cause a princess doesn’t cry

~~~

You sat in the owlery, content all alone as the sun settled, sinking behind the mountains. You rarely got moments alone like this, and it had been hard enough to shake your friends off of your back to come up here. 

You took a deep breath, closing your eyes. You sat at the window sill precariously, your legs dangling above the ground hundreds of meters below. 

How did it all come to this?

As the only daughter and heir to the Armin family, great things were expected of you. You met every expectation, but it still wasn’t enough to please your mother and father. Both of them had been unkind and cold from the very beginning, leaving you to be a muted version of yourself. 

Your friends - well, the people you called friends - hardly noticed, using you as a status symbol more than anything. You were sick of it, and just wanted things to be over. You were tired of having the world on your shoulders. 

You looked down at the ground below you, thinking about how easy it would be to jump, to imagine you were flying with no broom before meeting what you longed for. And yet, you remained still on the windowsill, your ears finding comfort in the owls behind you and your eyes watching the sinking sun. 

“That’s quite dangerous, you know.” A voice behind you said. “I do hope you’ll be careful.” 

You turned around, swinging your legs over the sill and back to safety inside. “Don’t pretend to care.” You hissed, ready to walk out. So much for an evening of solitude. 

“Hold on. You’re (Y/N) Armin.” The boy, who had ginger hair, grasped your elbow, pulling you back. “I’m sorry if I interrupted, but I did want to make sure you were safe-” 

“Don’t worry about it. In fact, don’t care.” You said coldly, yanking your elbow from his grasp and walking away. 

He stared after you, wondering what he had done wrong. For a moment, a flash of vulnerability was in your eyes when you turned back to him, and the worry in his head grew. What had you been doing there, sitting on that window? You looked small enough to be knocked over by just a slight breeze. 

One thing George Weasley knew was that he was determined to find you again. 

~~~

“George? Georgie? Are you listening to us?” Fred asked, waving a hand in front of George’s face while his twin scanned the faces of the people at the Slytherin table. 

“What do you know about (Y/N) Armin?” He asked, not bothering to look away despite Fred’s annoyance. 

“Her reputation’s as bad as Malfoy’s, and that’s saying something.” Lee Jordan huffed, joining the conversation. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her smile.” 

“The Ice Queen of Slytherin, aye?” Fred asked, nudging George. He was still looking for her. “Why the sudden interest, oh brother of mine?” 

“Nothing. I ran into her at the owlery the other day…” As if in a daze, George recited the story perfectly and quickly, his eyes distracted. 

“D’you reckon she’s mental?” 

“I don’t know.”

After spending the next weekend asking around, George finally ended up on the seventh floor, pausing when he heard sniffles coming from a small door. 

“Are you okay?” George asked, knocking on the door. He only got more sniffles in response, and he opened the door, fully ready to pull out his wand in the case of an attack- 

When he saw you in the middle of the small room, curled up on the floor and shaking with almost noise-less sobs. 

“Armin?” He asked, stepping closer cautiously. “What are you doing here?” 

You looked up to see the boy from the owlery. “Get out.”

“I’m only trying to help-”

“Get. Out.” You repeated, this time growling at him. “Stay the hell away from me.”

He scrambled out of the room, only to hear the sobs begin again the moment he shut the door. 

“I’m worried about you.” He spoke in a loud voice. “Why won’t you let me help you?”

Your sobs slowed as the words came in from the other side. You spread yourself out on the floor, still sniffling, occasionally rubbing tears off your face. 

It was clear he had no intention of leaving, but why? Why care? He was only a Gryffindor boy, one who definitely shouldn’t be caring about a Slytherin.

The last time you had let someone comfort and listen, they had left. Your parents had never shown you any affection of any kind, claiming that emotions meant weakness. And weakness could not exist in the heir of the Armin family. 

“I can try to help from out here, but that won’t work well for either of us. See, I’d like to give you a hug, but I can’t exactly do that with a door and a wall between us.”

You stayed silent, hoping he’d give up and leave. It wouldn’t hurt as much if he would only do as you wished. 

“I want to know what happened that day at the owlery. I want to know if you need a friend. I consider myself an excellent friend, and I can’t promise anything, but I don’t want to hurt you. I only want to be by your side and listen to whatever’s going on in your head.” 

Please, just go. You begged in your head. It’ll be easier for both of us if you do. 

“It’s three o’clock right now. At least, I’d reckon that from the amount of chimes that the bell tower just chimed. I’m not leaving until you let me come in. If you really want to be left alone, you could tell the room to create an exit for you, away from me. Think really hard about it and it’ll come true.” He called out. “But I’d like to hope that you won’t. I’ll be here until dinner time, and if you’re still there when I get back from dinner, I’ll stay until curfew.”

Was it worth the risk to let him in? This boy, this stranger, who knew more of your status than your person or abilities, was asking for your trust. This was not a matter to be taken lightly. 

“I could give you a hug if you let me in. And you could maybe cry it out some more, and I could try to help fix the pain.” He offered. “Only an idea, really.”

You moved to the door, resting your palm against it. 

“I understand. It’s hard to cry in front of people. You don’t even know me. Well, for starters, I’m George Weasley. I think we both have reputations that proceed us. I’m not a jerk. Not all the time. Well, I like to think that.” 

You leaned your forehead against the door, closing your eyes to focus on his words. 

“There are some pretty nasty things I’ve probably said about Slytherins. But you don’t seem like those things to me. Again, I hardly know you, so it’s not exactly easy for me to judge your character based on a short exchange of words.”

He sighed. “You looked scared in the owlery. You looked like you weren’t used to having people care. Which is really quite unfair, because I believe everyone should have at least a few people who care very much about them.” 

“If I open up the door, what will you do?” You asked weakly. “Looking for a way to get into my pants, Weasley?”

“Merlin, no.” He laughed. “You have a wicked mind.”

“You didn’t answer the question.” 

“I’d tell you that one way or another, someone cares for you, somewhere. Maybe someone else, other than me, too. A life without people who care is a lonely and rather sad life.”

“I’m going to open the door.”

George scrambled to his feet immediately as you opened the door. He opened his mouth to say something that he imagined to be pitying, so he opted for a joke instead. “Ah, the ice queen finally melts.” He grinned, although it fell off his face when you glared at him. 

“I could shut the door again.” 

“You wound me, princess.” 

“Bloody hell, give me one good reason why you shouldn’t have the door slammed in your face.”

George’s face turned serious. “Sorry. All jokes aside, may I step inside and give you a hug?”

“Why?”

“Because in my experience, I’ve found that hugs make me feel better. Maybe they’ll do the same for you.”

You stepped back and he walked in. Once the door was shut, you shuffled forward, nearly collapsing into George as your strong facade faded and you were reminded of why you were crying in the first place. He enveloped you in his arms. 

“There, there.” He whispered, running a hand through your hair. “Don’t worry about my shirt, I’m due for washing soon anyways.” 

“I shouldn’t be doing this, this is stupid-” You broke out of his embrace. “You should go, it’ll be easier…” 

“Easier?” His eyebrows knitted together. “Easier how?”

“Easier,” You tried to steady your breathing, “when you leave and stop caring, if you never start.” 

“Oh, princess…” He stepped toward you. “I don’t think I can stop caring, even if I wanted to.” 

He held you tight once more. “I’d like to care about you as much as I can, if you’d let me.”

“Don’t leave.” You whimpered pitifully, clutching his sweater closer to you as you sobbed. 

“Wasn’t planning on it, princess.”

[chillax-kass-w]

After All | RM2

[Reiner Braun/Reader]

Happiness seems impossible for Reiner, but he may get there after all. 

Read on AO3

[As a note, the format of this story is as follows: chapters actually titled “Chapter _” are current to the Marley Arc, chapters titled “M_” are Reiner’s memories in succession, and chapters titled “RM_” are the Reader’s memories in succession]

Previous

The evacuation bell rang, and (f/n) couldn’t help the relief that overcame her. They’d been in the fray for what felt like hours, narrowly avoiding death time and time again. She barely had a grasp of her kill count; she could care less. All she knew was that she yelled for her comrades to follow her over Wall Rose, and she focused on nothing else. They’d been lucky to have conserved their gas so well. She’d always had a knack for it in their training, so she’d berated her friends when they were wasteful. It all paid off in the end, and they crossed the Wall with little to no interference.

But was it enough?

They were put on standby, the chance of heading back into the fray higher than ever. One order and they were put in front of Death’s door again. The anxiety was palpable in the air. Her group was silent, either staring at the ground or straight ahead in what could only be dissociation. (f/n) had no idea what she could say to them; no words seemed appropriate. She didn’t want to open grief’s door, not until they were truly out of harm’s way.

She couldn’t bring herself to think about anything but the look in Sarah’s eyes as she ceased existing. She wasn’t particularly close to the girl, only being tasked with cleaning and other odd jobs with her, but she knew the blonde was a happy-go-lucky girl who’d do anything to put a smile on someone’s face. They’d usually banter back and forth about their respective friend groups, training, and any other thing that seemed noteworthy. That morning, she’d been so caught up in her thoughts about Reiner that she hadn’t even greeted the girl properly.

And now she was gone.

That smile was gone.

Before she could continue her depressed thought process, the unmistakable sound of cannon fire broke through the air, and she scrambled off the steps to stand with her comrades. All eyes were turned to the plume of smoke rising far above the Wall, and words were thrown around in fear and confusion.

“Cannon fire?”

“That was inside the Wall!”

“Just one shot?”

“Has the floodgate been destroyed?!”

“Nah, that’s the most fortified spot. There’s no way… I’m sure someone just dropped an explosive…”

“Still, what’s with all that smoke?!”

“Could it be… steam coming off a Titan?!”

“Reiner?!”

At the name, (f/n)’s eyes shot to a familiar blonde figure propelling himself onto a nearby building. Other familiars were following after, and she decided to be one of them.

She had to know what was going on.

She arrived in time to hear Reiner voice a collective question. “What the hell’s going on down there?” His eyebrows were furrowed, and his voice was almost new to her. She guessed that came with being apart for three months, give or take a few days.

However, what was truly new was the deformed Titan body leaning in the southern corner of the Wall. It had no skin, no lower body. It was just muscle and bone, only rib cage and skull. A couple of figures stood within the billowing steam, but (f/n) couldn’t make out any identifiable features. Nonetheless, she felt fear for them.

Why wasn’t it attacking?

The steam was disappearing slowly, but she couldn’t bring herself to move. She couldn’t even take her eyes off the thing, slowly vanishing into hot air. What could have created it? Why were there people inside? Why weren’t Reiner and the rest saying anything?

Then, as if that wasn’t enough, a figure slowly emerged from the clouds of steam, and she couldn’t help the gasp that left her lungs at the sight of Armin. He was so small in comparison to the wide array of weapons pointed directly at him. So small from her view on the roof. But he looked so powerful.

“You! Stop right there!” yelled the Garrison captain. His voice was harsh, threatening.

“He isn’t an enemy of the human race!” Even Armin’s voice was powerful, a strength she’d never known in the boy on show in what could be his final moments. Her hands balled up into fists at her sides, the tension carrying through her entire body. “We wish to disclose all the knowledge we’ve acquired about the Titans!”

“It’s meaningless to beg for your lives! He revealed his true form before our eyes! There’s nothing left to be said! If you claim he’s not a Titan, show me proof! If you can’t do that, I’ll eliminate the threat!”

If possible, Armin’s voice grew in volume, the sheer resolve felt through every vibration. “First of all, how we see him isn’t the issue! You said everyone saw him! In that case, they must have seen him fighting the Titans! And they must have seen all the Titans in the area ganging up on him! In other words, the Titans saw him as prey, just like us! No matter how long we think about this, that truth still stands!” (f/n) had no idea what he was talking about, who he was talking about, but she could take a guess. There was a person in that dissolved Titan, and that person was Eren. But why? How? How could Eren be in such a situation? She looked beside her to find Jean and Reiner with fear ringing true in their expressions. Had they known?

The captain raised his arm, a call for attack, and (f/n)’s breathing stopped ragged in her chest. “Prepare to counterattack! Don’t be taken in by this clever trap! Their behavior has always been beyond our understanding! I’m saying they could have the ability to turn into humans! But we can’t let them get away with it any longer!”

In defiance, Armin placed his fist over his heart, the perfect salute. His voice stayed loud, proud, determined, even in the face of death. “As a soldier, I vowed long ago to dedicate my heart to the recovery of the human race! If my life ends while keeping that vow, I have no complaints! But, if you combine his ‘Titan Power’ with our remaining military force, it might even be possible to recover this town! For the glory of the human race, I beg you! In the moments I have left before I die! Let me explain his strategic value!”

Despite Armin’s rallying words, the Captain’s arm remained upright, falling forward to signal life’s departure. Yet, another arm caught his, and the Commander of the Garrison made his presence known.

“Stand down,” even upon the rooftop, (f/n) could clearly hear his voice. She guessed even a dropped pin could be heard in that moment. “You never change. For a man your size, you’re as delicate as a fawn. Can’t you see how magnificent that boy’s salute is?”

“Commander Pixis-!”

“I just arrived, but the situation was relayed to me by a rider. As of this moment, I’m putting you in command of the reinforcements. I have a feeling it would be worth our while to listen to what these kids have to say.”

With that, he motioned for them to follow him. The baffled stares of every soldier present were not heeded by the Commander as he led the trio toward an elevator. (f/n) turned toward her friends to ask what in the world was going on, but their blank stares were turned toward the ranks still standing in the streets. Without a word, they jumped from the roof to rejoin their squads, and (f/n) followed behind wordlessly as well. She just wanted to know what was going on, but she knew she’d get no answers out of her friends.

Gordon and the others were still standing where she left them, and they were even more confused than her. She didn’t think it wise to spread misinformation, so she stayed silent, only shaking her head when Sandra asked what was wrong. They remained as such until Pixis’ voice rang from atop the Wall.

“Where’s my council?! Let’s work out a strategy!”

That caused everyone to erupt in questions and shouts.

“A plan to take back Trost?!”

“Now?!”

“You gotta be kidding! How can we when we don’t even have the means to seal that hole?!”

Her group started to panic, Floch and Keno falling to their knees in terror. Sandra tried to comfort them, but her hands shook as she reached for their shoulders. Gordon could only look upon them in shock. Keno was the first to speak.

“I can’t go back out there! I don’t wanna die!”

Before a superior could hear, (f/n) knelt down beside him. She knew the same fear shone in her eyes, but she couldn’t let him panic so.

“Keno, I promise you won’t die.”

Disbelief looked back at her. “How can you even say that?!”

She steadied her voice, quelling her fear at least enough to quell his. “Because I won’t let it happen. I don’t break my promises.” She hoped her determination was audible. She supposed it was, because he looked down without a word, his hands still balled up in his trousers. She looked to the rest of her squad, their faces full with that same fear and disbelief. “I promise all of you, I won’t let you die. So don’t worry. Just do your duty and—“

“Attention!!!” Interrupted the Commander, his voice seemingly breaking the laws of sound. Commanding was an understatement. “I will now explain our strategy to recapture Trost! The goal of this operation will be to plug the hole in the broken gate! We have a way to seal the hole, but first I want to introduce you to Eren Yeagar of the Training Corps!” (f/n)’s heart dropped, as she was sure everyone else’s did. “We’ve been conducting top secret experiments on Titan transformation, and this soldier is our first success!” They’ve been experimenting on him? “He is able to summon the body of a Titan and control it!”

“What?!”

“He will turn into a Titan, pick up the boulder near the outer gate, carry it over, and use it to block the hole! Soldiers! Your task is to protect him from the other Titans while he’s carrying the rock!”

“Lift up that enormous stone?! Is that possible?! Can humans finally control the Titans?!”

“It’s a lie! You expect me to give up my life for some nonsense like that?! What do you take us for?! We’re not some disposable blades!”

“Wait, deserters are killed!”

“I’m gonna spend Humanity’s last days with my family!”

“Me too!”

With that, many soldiers made to leave, pushing past (f/n) and her crew and causing such unrest she half expected her crew to leave as well. That was until the Captain brandished his sword. “I hope you’re prepared to die, traitors!” He walked with quick steps toward the retreating cowards. “Right now! I’ll cut you down before you take another step!” Before he could make good on his word, though, the Commander interrupted her again.

“Upon my order! Anyone who leaves right now will go unpunished! If you have given in to your fear of the Titans, you will never be able to stand against them again! Anyone who has succumbed to the terror of the Titans should leave here! And, anyone who wants their parents, siblings, and loved ones to feel that same fear for themselves should leave as well!!” Those words appeared to rally every deserters’ last ounce of determination and perseverance, as they all turned back and joined the ranks again.

“Let’s talk about what happened four years ago! About the operation to reclaim Wall Maria! I don’t think I need to remind you of it!” Oh, she remembered it well. She’d been so ignorant at the time, but she now knew how absolutely inhumane the whole ordeal was. It was the one time she was glad her parents were gone. “‘Operation to reclaim’ sounds good, doesn’t it? But it was really just a way for an overburdened government to reduce the number of unemployed they had to feed! What no one dares to say is that we’ve been able to survive within the Wall’s narrow confines because your brothers and sisters in arms were forced to go outside it! That sin belongs to all of Humanity, including me! The residents of Wall Maria were a minority, so war never broke out. But what about next time?! If Wall Rose is breached, it won’t be nearly enough to sacrifice twenty percent of the population! Behind our final barrier, Wall Sina, we could only afford to feed half of the world’s surviving human beings! If Humanity does out, it won’t be because the Titans devoured us! It will be because we annihilated each other! We cannot die inside yet another Wall! Given the choice… Die here!!!”

With that, everyone resounded a collective “Sir!” and listened to their orders. (f/n)’s squad was sent to lure the Titans away from Eren, a fact she was glad for. Technically speaking, they were not required to engage with any Titan. They only had to lead the Titans to the opposite corner of the district from the gate, that being the north west corner. Many died on the way, but she made sure their numbers didn’t include Gordon, Sandra, Floch, or Keno. She’d made a promise on their lives. She wouldn’t allow herself to break it.

Once they had lured the majority to the corner, all soldiers were tasked to remain stationary upon the Wall, only able to look down at the insatiable mouths below.

She hated the view.

Those Titans had killed many men and women, many of whom she’d been acquainted with. She felt sick gazing upon their faces. To make it worse, many of them were smiling up at the many soldiers on the Wall. She had to look away to stop the ache in her stomach.

A red flare could be seen in the distance, and she felt dread creep up her spine. The mission had failed. She knew it was too good to be true for a human to control the power of the Titans, but she’d put every shred of hope in Eren’s ability.

Even so, the Commander refused to back down. He sent no orders to retreat, no orders to change the course of the mission. Everyone was forced to wait in anguished patience for another flare. That is, if anyone on the other side of the town survived.

(f/n) thought back to training, to those days when Eren and Jean fought over their ideologies like bickering brothers. Eren would be disappointed to know that he was given such a power and didn’t use it to change Humanity’s course. She knew he absolutely wouldn’t let that happen. Perhaps Pixis had seen that drive, that insatiable hunger for revenge and knew now to give him every chance possible.

It was all they had left.

She hated having to watch and wait. After experiencing battle, she knew she wouldn’t force the experience on anyone. She would rather it be her in harm’s way than her comrades, but she had to follow orders first and foremost. She had to stay stationary. She had to put all her hope in Eren. She had to believe her hope would be returned.

A yellow flare…

“The operation was a success!”

“Send in reinforcements now! Rescue the Alpha Squad!”

A beacon of hope.

Next

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Trying to write Eren being a good omega

Images. Memories. Emotions. Visions from someone else's point of view. Visions of him. Visions of travel. Visions of Hannes being pulled up by strong vines. Wings. Blood. Explosions. A frail woman with black hair giving a shuddering breath. A man in a trench coat walking away. Eren's mind was flooded with too much. Things he didn't know, and things he shouldn't know... all of it flooded through him as his body burned with fever. Levitating and spasming, Eren's body still burned with fever despite two days having passed, and despite Freya's attempts to shape and mould Eren's excess magic in order to bring it back under control. Dragged from the rubble of the ruined hotel, those who hadn't been fast enough had been turned to stone by Eren's uncontrollable magic, yet by some miracle Levi and Eren had been recovered. The pair of them protected by a black sphere of magic that prevented the approach of any of them on the night of the incident, when the spell broke, it shattered to reveal it was made of from the dozens of scales which had sat useless upon Eren's back. The morning after the night before had revealed the widespread damage of Eren's magic. Streets had crackled, turning into deep valleys where they'd collapsed into the sewers beneath. Facades had slid from buildings, fires had erupted across the city, not dulled by the widespread flooding that Eren's storm had brought. Steege had helped wherever he could, stabilising whatever he could, when he wasn't being followed around by Luca. The small dragon didn't understand what had happened, only that something had been wrong with his mother, so he'd taken his brother to the corner before waking their father. He didn't understand why he couldn't be by their side, or why everyone kept Viren from him. He'd been careful. He'd nosed his blanket around his brother before lifting it as carefully as he could. His mother was standing over his brother when woken, the sword raised in hands until he'd slunk between them, chirping his confusion at his mother. Reeling back, his mother's eyes were full of pain, stumbling away with the sword. Why wasn't his father awake? Why wasn't he helping his mother? He didn't understand, only that he didn't his mum would be sad if anything happened to the pup. He'd be a good big brother and protect him. He loved him... now Armin held Viren and none of the other humans would talk to him. He didn't know what he'd done wrong, but at least Steege let him come with him. He let him ride on his shoulder's like his mother did, even if it didn't feel as nice, at least Steege would speak to him. Luca just wanted his mum and his dad back. But no one was allowing him close to them... * Bouncing Viren as he paced, Armin didn't know to do. He didn't know how Eren had survived. There'd been so much blood. Freya had found no pulse when she'd checked, blood still soaking the floor beneath his best friend's limp body. Levi had... he'd never seen anything like it. Even the night of Eren's birthday party hadn't been this bad, as Eren had been able to call Levi back from... what he could only describe as insanity. The Levi in front of him had been like a wild beast. His eyes black eyes filled with bloodlust. His hair long and black, rippling under the extraordinary pressure of the magic winds in the room. His hands blackened, with sharp glistening claws. His terrifying visage completed with... Armin didn't even know what to call the black stuff running down the alpha's face. It wasn't Levi, yet it was... it'd been a few days and Armin was struggling with lingering mental images, unable to enter the room where Levi rested. Each time Levi grew close to Eren, Levi would grow restless. He'd growl and snarl in his sleep, twisting his still healing body tearing open his wounds as he searched out his omega, leaving them with no choice but to seperate the pair of them. Hanji and Moblit in charge of Levi's medical care, remaining tightlipped over it all. This whole situation was a nightmare. Gently hushing Viren, the boy wasn't happy. They'd tried to get him drinking warm diluted cows milk, as straight cows milk is bad for infants, but he wouldn't take it. They couldn't find a wet nurse with the state of chaos the city was in, leaving Armin fearing for the pup. As it was, the confines of the dungeons beneath the courthouse was less than ideal. Until they knew what had transpired both Levi and Eren were technically under arrest, with the world told the death of a dragon had caused such tragedy. Freya had spoken to the tribunal to assure them that this wasn't orchestrated, and that she felt strongly this was tied to the theft of Eren's personal papers and the destruction of Obsydin's sword. The remains of which were gathered by Freya, then submitted to the tribunal. Oddly, the female dragon rider refused to speak of it with the rest of the group. She'd simply stated she could not, and until further notice they were to act as if Eren and Levi were indeed dead. Luca to stay with Steege given he seemed most comfortable with him, while Armin looked after Viren. He would have done so, even without being asked. Eren wouldn't have wanted some stranger handling his boys... No. He wouldn't. He was still alive, despite everything, so Armin had to believe he would wake again... Eren couldn't keep floating. Freya would find a way to heal him. She'd heal him, and Levi... * Levi woke in pain. The alpha letting out a mournful howl as he curled into the sweat soaked single bed beneath him. He felt... empty. Eren was gone... his precious omega was gone... He'd held him as he died in his arms, scared and confused as to why he couldn't feel his body. Scared and confused as to why he couldn't control his body. If he'd just been faster. If he'd just tackled Eren for the sword... If he'd woken when Eren had climbed from his side. Or if he'd realised faster what Luca was trying to tell him... How did he tell his boy his mother was gone? And Viren... He didn't know how to look after a baby on his own. He knew nothing about making a family. Digging his hands into the wet lumpy mattress, tears flowed. The dampness between his fingers felt like Eren's blood... there'd been so much blood... "Levi, its Hanji. Can you understand me?" He didn't want to understand anyone. He was in so much pain. Not just emotionally, but physically, his body feeling like it was burning, while his heart felt like... it was racing so hard, as if trying to pump while shattered into a hundred pieces. He'd killed Eren. He'd pulled the blade from the wound, the blade that was stopping the bleeding... He could still feel the resistance in his hands "Levi?" Why did Hanji want to speak to him? He'd killed his mate... He'd killed other people... but they hadn't been the love of his life "Levi, can you understand me?" Speaking slower wasn't going to change his pain. Flinching as her hand came to his shoulder, he slapped it off with a snarl "Don't touch me!" Yelling was petty, yet there he was... "Oh, Levi..." And there was the pity "Leave me alone, Hanji!" "Levi..." "Leave me alone! Don't you fucking know... I... I fucking killed... I... Eren..." The words made him sick to his stomach. His omega. His whole world... gone... "What are you talking about? Levi, Eren isn't dead" Jolting back onto his knees, Levi glared coldly at Hanji. The woman's figure blurry through his tear filled eyes "Don't you dare fucking turn this into one of your jokes" "Levi..." "Don't! He's dead! He is fucking dead! I know he's dead! I felt the blade... the blood... He died right in front of me, Hanji" "Levi..." "Stop saying my fucking name! Stop it! "Then listen to me. Eren, by some miracle of god, he's alive. He wasn't breathing when I examined him, but when we found you two... He's sick. Very sick. Armin said he's only ever seen you bring him back under control when he's like this. He's not responding to Freya's magic" "Don't lie to me!" How could she play game like this? Act like Eren was simply in another room or something. Grabbing him by the arm, Hanji pulled him from the bed. Levi's legs too weak to support him, causing the alpha to fall to the dirty stone floor. The pain of skinning knees, didn't register, the world swaying in and out of focus nauseatingly "Hanji! What are you doing?! Levi, I'm so relieved you're awake. Half the city has been destroyed. Hanji's been by your side since we recovered you. Steege's been looking after Luca, but Armin is struggling with Viren. So much is happening, having you awake is one less issue to worry about" Moblit's words tumbled over himself in a rush, bringing with another wave of pain. Shamefully Levi was still on his knees, his tears dripping on the floor while Hanji continued to hold his arm "Let me die. You should have let me die... I can't be a parent without him" "Levi, Eren isn't dead" Why were they being so cruel? He'd... he'd felt Eren slipping away from him. He felt his mate leaving him behind. Everyone he loved left. His mother. His uncle. Erwin... Erwin was his best friend. His closest friend. The man was like a brother, but he too had left him behind. Everyone left him. He wasn't a good alpha. He wasn't a good mate. He wasn't even a good person... but when he'd been with Eren, he could believe he was. He could hold his head high and hope for a future with his mate. Eren had gone somewhere he couldn't follow. "Levi, do you want to see him?" Raising his head, he looked to Moblit. His silver eyes dull as he nodded mutely. Allowing himself to be pulled to his feet by Hanji, he swayed as his knees threaten to give out again. Looping an arm around his waist, Hanji took his weight. He couldn't bring Eren back. He couldn't, no matter how he tried. The other half of his soul had been torn from his body when his omega died, and now all that remained was an empty hollowness... and more pain than words could ever describe. Guided from the cell, it was a short walk to a plain door. Opening it for them Moblit soon sent the occupants from the space. Levi deaf to the words directed at him as they left. It was good. Eren's body hadn't been left alone. Eren wouldn't want to be alone down here. Wherever here was. Abandoned by Hanji at the doorway, he was propelled forward on shaking legs, the door slamming closed behind him. Unable to calm, Levi's breath fell on short pants as he forced his gaze from his feet. His palms coming to rub at his tear filled eyes, knowing Eren would hate to see him cry. He'd probably even hit him for being so sad. Letting out a low laugh, he shook his head. His lover was dead, and there he was, thinking of his feelings. It was so messed up. Out of everything he could be thinking of, he was remembering the way Eren would hit him for getting upset. No normal person would laugh... but what was normal anymore? Shuffling forward as he rubbed his eyes, he came to a stop a few shuffles in, forcing himself to look up. At first Levi thought he was hallucinating. Floating a few feet above the bed, green wings were wrapped around his mate as black markings slid across Eren's skin. It was... Eren wasn't even alive and he was causing trouble. He was a stubborn little shit... wobbling to the bed, Levi knelt on the edge as he reached for Eren. The alpha's fingers stopping just short of touching him. He could feel the fire rolling off of Eren, the tips of his fingers feeling as if they were wrapped against a warm teacup. Like the tiny fraction of distance was protective and insulating as the bone China of the finest teacup in the world, while Eren was just as fragile. Hesitation causing his hand to shake as he swallowed hard. Closing his eyes he grabbed Eren's arm. The omega dropping the distance to land against the bed with a solid thud. His wings sliding back to reveal his torn and bloodied nightshirt. To Levi it looked as if every inch of his lover's perfect sun kissed skin had been marred with dirt or blood. How had this happened? Eren said he couldn't control his body, but how did a thing like that happen? He was a fucking dragon. He had more magic than most people had in their lifetimes. Calling out to Obsydin, he was met with a great expanse of nothingness. Levi couldn't say if he was relieved or not. Biting his quivering bottom lip, Levi threw himself over his mate as he started to sob. He still felt so warm and soft. Under the blood. Under the mud. Under the stink of ash and filth, he found Eren's scent. The scent of a storm raging strong. The smell of rain against stone. The scent of home and safety on a cold winters night "E-Eren. I... I'm so sorry" Groping blindly, he found Eren's hand. Pulling it to his lips, he peppered kisses to the muddied skin as he nuzzled into it. This was his omega and he'd failed him. No wonder Obsydin refused to reply. He deserved to be alone. He'd promised Eren nothing would happen, only for him to break that promise. He just... he couldn't get over how warm Eren felt beneath him. Perhaps it was a dragon thing? Or maybe just an Eren thing? "Sweet boy... oh, sweet boy...I'm so sorry. I'm sorry... I'm sorry" Left alone for nearly an hour, Levi cried himself into a numb bubble. Exhausted beyond words, and lacking the will to move, Freya came to his side. Squatting down, the woman wrapped an arm around his shoulder "Levi, you need to rest" If he rested, Eren would be alone "I know you don't want to leave his side, and I won't ask you too. I need to examine him, but I need you to let me have some space to work" "Wh..." His tongue felt too heavy to form real words. Freya sighing softly as she took his hand from Eren's. Letting her take his hand, Freya placed it on Eren's chest "I know this is hard. I don't know how it happened, but I do know Eren is alive" Levi shook his head weakly, barely at all if he was honest "Levi, Eren is alive. You need to stop rejecting him" He wasn't rejecting his omega! He could feel Eren's warmth, yet he'd watch him die. "Freya, I don't think Levi can comprehend that Eren is alive. You saw what his pain transformed him into. He lost his mind thinking Eren was dead" Moblit's educated voice came from behind him. If Levi had had any semblance of his normal self, he would have huffed in indignation "Levi. I promise you that I am not lying to you. Close your eyes, and feel" Freya's magic blossomed into a gentle heat, beneath his palm started to pulse... no, pulse wasn't the right word. Beat. He could feel a weak beat "Can you feel it? I'm using my magic to amplify the feeling. He hasn't given up. You can't give up on him" "He..." "He's been like this for the last 3 and a half days. I wasn't able to reach him with my magic. His own was completely out of control. He's been burning with a fever, and these strange black marks have been sliding across his skin. I've never seen dragon wings on a dragon in human form, but the formed after the magic shield around you two fell" Levi's mind couldn't keep up. His heart soaring at the thought of Eren being alive, before his whole body felt as if ice water had been poured over him. It made no sense. The sword had run clean through his mate, then left a long gash down his stomach. It wasn't the kind of wound one survived. Perhaps a few hours, on the very outer edge of luck. But generally one would bleed out before the first signs of infection set in. That Eren would survive such trauma made no sense. No pulse meant no heartbeat. No heartbeat meant death. Hanji had pronounced Eren dead. Freya, with her super sense of hearing and magic, had thought Eren dead. He'd thought Eren dead. No. He was a seasoned soldier and people didn't survive being impaled as a general rule. All this thinking was starting to hurt his already throbbing head. His chains of thought tangled beyond comprehension in his current state. Reading his distress, Freya's magic crept through him. His body attempting to reject the substance as it wasn't Eren's, leaving him whining like an omega would "Levi. You need rest. You've been heavily wounded when the building collapsed. But I need to ask you something, something important. Can you answer me?" "Mmm?" That was hardly an answer, but it was enough for Freya to push "I need to know. Did you do this to Eren, or did someone else do this to Eren? If someone hurt him, I need to know" Now that his alpha knew their omega was alive, it'd decided it's instincts needed to make him growl at the woman, who was trying her damn hardest to help "They've arrested both you and Eren. They're going to want to talk to you, so I need to know. Do you know who did this?" Opening his eyes, the dim light of the glow stones stabbed at his vision like a thousand needles. Groaning, he quick to close them again "Levi?" "Eren... Eren said he couldn't control his body... he had... he couldn't stop himself from... but I killed him. I pulled the blade out. I... didn't think. I... panicked when I saw what had happened. I tried to call for you. He didn't want to, but he had no control" Freya swore softly, the shake of her head he didn't need to see to know it had happened "I understand. This was magic. Someone did this to him maliciously. This magic, needed something personal from Eren to be performed, but with the fall out, I highly doubt they will make a second attempt at Eren's life. That's provided they managed to keep their own" Levi simply wasn't able to keep up. Even kneeling with Freya's support was too much for him. He felt like a pup when the rider lifted him to man handle him down next to Eren. He didn't want to sleep. He didn't want to close his eyes and wake to find his omega really had passed and this was all some dream Obsydin had concocted in an attempt to gently ease him into the idea of Eren being dead. Twitching and shivering, his body and his mind weren't listening to him. Everything hurt like a bitch, especially his red rimmed eyes, but Eren... and Viren... and where was Luca? He wanted to ask. He needed to know. Eren would be so mad at him for... How would he tell him? Unwillingly and unwantingly, Levi passed out beside his fever-ridden mate, his own fever burning just as badly. * Eren's head felt as if it was about to burst. The dimmed light of the room he'd woken up in only agitated his aching head. His lungs felt heavy, as if filled with all the water in the world, leaving him with a cough that wouldn't pass. But that was nothing compared to the nausea he felt. His wounds externally healed, yet his muscles tender... though, apparently a building had fallen on both him and Levi which he could believe from the amount of pain he was in. He couldn't remember. He couldn't remember anything from that day. He'd been told he fainted in court, but had no recollection of it at all. Levi wasn't in much better condition. His wounds were taking longer to heal, his nails had lifted and cracked off, leaving his mate pained each time he tried to do much of anything. He was alive, yet... something was off. Eren himself felt off, it was hard to stay awake, but Levi was having a harder time. The alpha continually forgetting conversations, or struggling to keep up with them over the following few days. He kept telling himself that, that the strange emptiness inside of him was his body reacting to the trauma they'd both been through. With the stress of everything happening, Eren felt on the verge of heat... like he needed that on top of everything. He couldn't have his boys out of his sight, all three of them, and he couldn't have their friends in the room he and Levi were occupying for more than a few minutes because it turned him into a crying mess when they'd disturb anything. His alpha was hurt. He needed his protection. Luca was upset and Viren hadn't fed for days, leaving him snarling or growling if someone came close. He didn't mean to offend his friends, not when he shouldn't be pushing his body, or pushing them away. He simply... he simply couldn't process it function with them close. He couldn't stand anyone in his space, it felt like his nest he'd made before giving birth, like the only haven left for them when something catastrophic had happened outside the three metre by three metre room. The only way he could calm himself, and his omega, was to have everything carefully organised. Waking on the morning of the 8th day since the incident, Levi was curled into his side. The alpha crying softly, his tears having soaked the part of Eren's nightshirt his face was hidden against. Rolling carefully so as not to disturb Levi too much, Eren cupped Levi's face "Levi?" Levi was no monster. He felt things deeply if the truth be told, yet he wasn't quick to tears like Eren was. Seeing his mate cry sent Eren into a fresh fit of panic. The single bed they were sharing was hardly big enough for them both to fit, but with them both having nightmares it was safer for Viren and Luca to share the second bed that had brought in "Levi? You're ok... hey, can you look at me?" Forcing Levi to look at him, the alpha shook his head "You died..." Not this again. Yes. He had... he'd been told that repeatedly at this stage. Rubbing at Levi's cheek with the pad of his thumb, Eren gave his mate a sad smile "I'm here now" "I don't understand how" "I know. I don't know either" "You had no heartbeat. Hanji said you were dead..." "Shhhh... You're ok" "I killed you" Eren didn't need his memory to know that was impossible "No. Hey, no" "I do. I... didn't stop to think. Once Obsydin's sword... you died" "No..." "You died! Your magic was out of control...!" Levi was reduced to sobbing now. Tremors shaking his entire smaller frame "Levi, hey. I'm alive" "This could... this is a dream. You were gone. People don't come back" "Levi, if this was a dream I don't think either of us would be in so much pain" "You're in pain?" "Headache" "I have a headache" He knew. Levi's headaches were a constant cause of worry, especially with the mental confusion "I know, my master. I think we have some herbs" "What?" "Herbs, for the headache and the muscle pain" "Why hasn't Freya helped you?" Because everything that was wrong with them needed to heal naturally "My instincts are messed up" "You need someone to help you... to help with the children" They'd also had this conversation "I'm alright" "Freya?!" Eren cringed at the loudness of Levi's voice. He couldn't handle loud and the moment, Levi couldn't handle loud at the moment either "Levi..." "You're hurt. Why are you alone? You shouldn't be alone" "I can't handle... anyone else in our room" Coughing didn't help his protests "Eren?" Climbing off the bed, Eren turned his back as he covered his mouth. Coughing made him want to curl into a ball and die. Not literally die, but maybe take a week long nap where he'd wake up magically cured and all of this was a bad dream. Having crawled across the bed, Levi let out a heavy groan as he grabbed the back of Eren's nightshirt. His mate really shouldn't have been moving around. Tugging him hard, the alpha ended up with Eren falling u to his lap, both of them hissing in pain "You idiot. What did you do that for?" "You got off the bed" "Because I was coughing. I wasn't going anywhere" "You left my side..." Eren tense. Levi's scent growing murky with fear. Swallowing down his discomfort, and swallowing down the itch in his throat, Eren then sighed softly "I didn't leave your side. We both lost ourselves for a moment, but we're both alive" "My head feels wrong. I can't feel Obsydin" Yep. They'd had this conversation also. Levi was quite worked up over the amount of pain he was in "Try not to think of it. It's been a week since everything happened, and a few days since I woke up" Bringing his left hand up, Eren gently stroked his alpha's hair "You died in my arms..." "Shhh... I'm not dead now" "I can't live without you" Eren coughed again. The room didn't even have heating. Most of the scarce blankets were being used by the kids "You don't have to... I'm not going anywhere" "Every body does" "Levi, we're not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere. I've got you, precious alpha" Nuzzling into his arm, Levi sighed heavily "My head really fucking hurts" "I know it does. I've got some herbs for that" "Where is everyone?" "At the trial. Luca and Viren are sleeping" "Why aren't we at the trial?" Eren closed his eyes. This was the longest Levi had lucid, even with the repeated questions they were usually on their second time through by now "My instincts are all over the place" "Why?" "Because you were fucking hurt. I was hurt. None of our friends will tell me what happened to either of us, only enough to make me know that there's more to this. Buildings don't just fall on people. Everyone thinks we're dead, Levi... and Luca... Luca is scared. He's started wetting the bed. He's scared to be alone, and doesn't want to leave the room. He cries in his sleep... I can't... I feel so sick and scared" "Eren..." "I can't help it. I don't know what's going on... your wounds aren't healing fast enough. My magic isn't good enough to help you. You can't remember... and we're both like this... and there's something wrong with both of us that I don't know how to fix" "Freya?" Opening his eyes again, Eren forced himself out of Levi's hold. His alpha's grey eyes tracking his jerky movements "She can't help. She's at the trial" "Oh..." "Let me get you something to drink, and something for the pain" "I feel like something is missing" "I know you do. But I've got you. I'm going to help you get through this" "You're the one who died... I should be here for you. I should be..." "Levi..." "I'm your alpha. God..." Going to stand, Levi barely rose before falling back. A bandaged hand clutching his side "Don't move. You'll open your wounds" "I wanted Luca... he woke me. He knew something was wrong" Levi hadn't said that before... he was proud of Luca, but Levi hadn't said that he'd woken him because he'd known something was wrong "You need to drink first. Then you need some more rest. Luca can cuddle with you, after you've had something to drink" He'd like to get Levi cleaned up, but Viren would be awake soon. And more importantly he needed the bathroom. Levi probably did too, yet didn't realise it.