#arm & hammer deodorant

[arctic-hands]

My first foray into essential oil cosmetics resulting in slathering my pits in wasp bait has considerably lessened my desire for artisanal soaps and the like

[thing-fight]

Umbrella winning over deodorant has me concerned that people would rather stay smelly and dry than wet and fresh

The people just like the stank i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I do wonder if the results may have been different had i used a different brand in the image though, even though the option itself wasnt meant to be brand specific on that one

[jonathanbyersphd]

Forgot it's already chafing season and walked across the parking lot yesterday and now I'm suffering

[afewproblems]

For Dio @flowercrowngods this is late but hopefully a decent little birthday gift! An homage to your beautiful yearning hours.

Steve wakes slowly, registering the hand in his hair first before anything else.

The second is that he's warm, tucked securely into Eddie side. He's talking to Robin, who sits on the recliner across the coffee table, gesturing emphatically in soft tones as he speaks.

They're in Steve's living room still, though it looks like almost everyone else has gone to bed at this point, giving up on their movie night.

The lights are off, the room instead is illuminated by the flickering television in the corner. A movie is playing, but Eddie and Robin pay little attention to it.

Eddie's hand comes up again to card through Steve's hair, so gently that Steve nearly moans at the touch.

They aren't together, but as Steve sinks even further into Eddie's side, he can let himself pretend.

Just for a moment.

He opens his eyes again to find Robin looking at him, she raises a single eyebrow at him before turning her attention back to Eddie --Steve knows they'll be discussing this later, but for now he's grateful she's kept his secret this time.

Steve lets himself drift for a bit, content to breathe in Eddie, the hint of cigarettes and weed that clings to his hair, the old spice deodorant he borrowed from Wayne. They way his voice rumbles slightly as he tries to stay quiet for Steve's sake, it all blends together, warm, nice, loved, safe.

Even if some small part knows he'll wake up alone the next day, that it isn't real, Steve can't help but hold onto this moment with shaking hands.

"I know you’re awake," Eddie hums lowly, drawing Steve out of his thoughts with a start.

Robin's seat is empty now, and the television is off. The only light now sifts through a crack in the window curtains, cutting a silver stream through the room.

"Penny for your thoughts Stevie?" He whispers, his eyes dart between Steve's own.

If only you knew.

Steve clears his throat and begins to sit up, only for Eddie's arm to curl around his shoulders firmly, keeping him in place.

"I think there's a discount if the thought, the uh feeling is mutual, ya know," Eddie says slowly, "like a two for one special".

Eddie winces slightly, looking as though he wants to bolt for the door, but Steve can't help the smile that slowly spreads over his face --even as a baffled laugh threatens to overtake him.

His chest aches with how much he loves this ridiculous man.

"Just kiss already," Robin calls out from the kitchen, making them both freeze where they sit.

His heart hammering in his throat he looks between the kitchen doorway and Eddie, his big brown eyes wide with panic.

All at once, the decision solidifies for Steve.

He takes a deep breath through his nose and releases it slowly through his mouth.

"You heard the lady," Steve hears himself say, but the words sound so far away now as Eddie turns in to face Steve better, as he flushes with an exasperated grin.

Eddie slowly leans in, and Steve lets himself drift once more, basking in the feeling of soft lips against his own and gentle hands in his hair.

[afyrian]

jack-o'-lantern frights osamu miya x gn!reader (fluff) m.list | wc: 1k | halloween event: day five

    standing in your kitchen, you stare down at a couple pumpkins resting over a few old newspapers. beside them, osamu has set down a couple knives and scoops. resting your hands on your hips, your eyes narrow, a smile spreading on your lips. "honey? when did you get these pumpkins?" you look back at the staircase, figuring osamu would be up there.

  your work clothes are still on, clay splattered along your jeans. pursing your lips, you walk over to the bottom of the stairs, giving one more shout, "osamu! what's going on?"

  waiting a few moments, you hear his feet thump against the floor, the noise of something falling to the ground. smiling, you lean against the railing, watching as osamu makes his way to the staircase. he halts to a stop, looking down at you. on his shirt is a jack-o'-lantern design. you had never seen him in bright orange, but you're quick to realize everything suits him.

  "i thought you weren't supposed to get home until later? like seven?" he hurries down the stairs, bringing his hands up to your cheeks and pulling you in for a far too quick kiss. 

  "yeah, i wanted to get home so we could have a longer weekend together. and this might just be the perfect way to spend the weekend before halloween together," you bring your hands up to his shoulders, only for his hand to move to your lower back, guiding you back to the kitchen. 

  osamu leans to the side of you, eyes holding your gaze. his hand is warm against you, his body temperature differing from the cooling temperatures of the outdoors. "plus, honey, i figured we could take the inners and make some korokke. i know you like my kabocha korokke but pumpkin is used interchangeably so i figured you may enjoy-"

  "oh i love it 'samu," you lean towards him, kissing his lips with a softness that could rival a cartoon cloud. 

  his hair is freshly cleaned, your hand reaching up and holding against his short hair. there's a softness to the hairs, a fresh sent of shampoo and his signature deodorant. separating from his lips, you smile, a drunken smile that can only be brought out sober by a full and warm love. 

  looking back down at the pumpkins, you notice the different sizes of them. some smaller, one that's especially larger than the others. "i got different sizes because i know you've never carved a pumpkin, so you have as many choices as you could need," osamu wraps his arm around your shoulders. 

  "wow, you are such a catch.. and i'll take one of the bigger ones, get the whole carving experience," you nod, watching as his face lights up. 

  suddenly, his lips drop into a frown as his hand pats his pockets. his eyebrows furrow, the same expression on his face as when he can't figure out the right proportions for a new recipe he's trying. "i left my phone upstairs, which has some carving inspiration on it. let me go get it and then the festivities can begin," osamu kisses your temple, gently removing himself from your touch and hurries for the stairs. 

  looking back in the direction he disappeared in, you can feel your heart racing more. you know you're in love, you can feel it, see it. but there's nothing more refreshing than waiting for him to return, to feel the excitement build. shaking your head, you sit down beside on the pumpkins, trying to remember some of the faces you've seen in movies and other media. 

  waiting for his feet pounding down the stairs, you spin the pumpkin around, checking every side to find the best carving position. when you don’t hear him soon, you roll your eyes, “i’m gonna start carving without you!”

  “why would you do that?” a familiar voice echoes behind you, however, when you turn around, a masked individual with a hammer is standing there. 

  “holy shit!” the words escape from your mouth quicker than you can think, hand reaching up, clenched into a fist, you hit across the mask.

  falling backwards, osamu immediately lifts the mask, holding up his hands in defense. staring at him, you blink slowly, trying to process what had just happened. “it’s me! i’m so sorry! i know you like scary halloween stuff and i got too enthusiastic!” his voice is loud as he defends himself, shaking his hands in the air.

  “osamu miya… you scared the living shit out of me! i do like horror but if you ever do that again you better be hoping i’m not holding a knife! god, you scared me half to death,” you bring your hands up to your face, resting it within the palms of your hands.

  osamu sets down the mask, crawling to you, he rests one hand on your thigh, the other reaching for your hip. “i’m so sorry babe,” he brings one hand up, slowly moving yours from your face, “i will never let atsumu give me advice every again.”

  your anger dissipates as you wonder what sort of advice osamu was asking for. your lips form into a disgusted frown, eyebrows raising. “advice from atsumu? what sort of advice would you ever take from your nefarious twin?” a smile wants to form, finding the situation all too funny, but you stand there keeping a straight face. 

  “just that sometimes someone who likes horror or halloween may enjoy a little fright. and since you like it so much, i thought it would’ve worked… wow i’m gonna block him, i’m so sorry n/n,” osamu shakes his head, raising your hand up to his lips, kissing the palm of your hand in a form of apology.

  biting your lip, you roll your eyes, letting your heart rate return to normal. “you’re forgiven, but only if you make the best dinner you’ve ever made tomorrow. and you let me pick the movie for the next movie night,” your free hand rests at your side, the other holding onto his.

  “that is one deal i am more than happy with.”

taglist (open): @eggyrocks @causenessus @applepi25 @softpia @bakery-anon

@bae-ashlynn @puffychu6781 @nekozaki

[pfhwrittes]

no but wait what if werewolf!reader has a major scent kink and gets annoyed with the 141 wearing deodorant? i mean think about it, chemical smells must be offensive as fuck to such a sensitive nose.

gaz is probably the worst culprit for wearing cologne which smells wonderful to a human nose but is olfactory hell for werewolf!reader. it clings in a way that natural scents just don't, astringent and cloying on every inhalation. werewolf!reader can't help the way their nose crinkles in disgust whenever gaz walks past. unfortunately it makes him spritz a little more on after showering because gaz thinks that werewolf!reader thinks he smells "bad" (aka like a human being) and werewolf!reader ends up avoiding him to minimise the migraines his cologne causes.

don't worry he catches a clue after werewolf!reader stumbles out of their room after a 3 day migraine and faceplants directly into gaz's lap begging him to never ever wear that cologne again please. gaz switches over to arm & hammer unscented deodorant after that too. it's not completely scent free but it's way less offensive than his previous combination of cologne + deodorant and gaz is rewarded by werewolf!reader spending way more time with him than before.

price reeks of tobacco. everything he touches has a faint lingering scent of stale smoke that makes werewolf!reader smother coughs even when he isn't actively puffing on one of his admittedly expensive cigars. werewolf!reader ends up standing upwind of price as much as possible but still coughs whenever price lights up.

eventually price gets so fed up of the constant coughing and badly hidden grimaces that he slaps multiple nicotine patches on his arms and chews his way through endless packets of nicotine gum just to avoid it. werewolf!reader definitely prefers the hint of peppermint on price's breath when they're close enough to get a hint.

soap refuses to wear deodorant if he can't wear his favourite brand and somehow his favourite brand goes missing within a day of purchasing it. he tries keeping a little stash in his room, locker, gym bag but they all go missing too.

he definitely sulks and grumbles about stinkin' out the place but it's worth it when werewolf!reader seems to lean in subconsciously when they're in the gym together. he could swear he saw werewolf!reader's nostrils flare and felt them shudder happily when he slung a sweaty arm over their shoulders one time.

ghost is complicated. he has the least offensive smell to werewolf!reader but that comes with it's own set of problems. ghost constantly smells of himself, the iron tang of dried blood and something like cordite. for werewolf!reader it's positively mouthwatering. the problem is that ghost goes out of his way to avoid werewolf!reader. they're too tactile, too friendly for his liking and it makes his skin crawl that they seem to sway into his space at every opportunity.

(the less said about the way his heart skips several beats in his chest when he catches werewolf!reader burying their nose in his sweat drenched t-shirt while holed up in a safe house together the better in his opinion.)

[tonitheloftwing]

Real lesbians use the super macho man brand arm and hammer deodorant

[zippiestdraws]

Choking Curiosity Ch20

Michael Myers x ftm reader

Read on ao3

Staring at the photo wishing it would change, your chest begins to hurt. You don’t know when you’ve sunk down onto your knees, but your free arm wraps tight around your torso as short breaths whistle past your teeth.

Your brain buzzes with too many thoughts, but it’s almost a background noise to the panic that grips you. Something inside you wishes Michael was here.

You force your fingers to drop the photo and your eyes stare at the empty space it used to be. Curling your fingers into a fist, the sensation of nails digging into your palm grounds you just enough to suck in some deeper breaths. Getting oxygen to your brain gets you short commands and jeers from some detached part of yourself focused on survival.

‘Get up’.

’Get up. You left your doors unlocked and now you have to fix this.’

On shaky legs and arms, you pull yourself up using the counter. Your eyes land on the back door and you lurch over to lock it.

***

You walk thirty minutes to the nearest thrift store, looking over your shoulder constantly, and load yourself with as many blankets as they’ll allow you to buy (nearly all of them, the clerk didn’t care). The trek home carrying the pile was awkward, but the physical exertion kept your mind focused.

Dumping the blankets in a heap and stepping over them, you head towards your toolbox to grab a hammer and nails. To hell with the walls, you can spackle them when the house has less pressing priorities.

You immediately wish Michael would make his stupid height useful for once and was here to help you.

Your new (mismatched and fleecy) curtains go up with sweat and swearing, and you drive nails into the frames of windows with loose locks. Come summer, you may regret not being able to open the windows, but for now these blankets will help insulate and protect you from peeping Toms. And hopefully stalking Steves.

Exhaustion hits all at once and you drop the hammer after the last window, probably denting your bedroom floor, but you couldn’t care less.

You turn towards your bed feeling like you could fall into it (literally, you still don’t have a bed frame).

But you don’t feel safe here. Not after that picture.

It makes you feel nauseous thinking about it and you wish, not for the first time, that you could be anywhere but here. You want to ask Quentin if you could stay over again, but you can’t risk getting him hurt.

The frustration of it all makes you want to cry and have a meltdown, but the testosterone in your body won’t let you. Your feet move on their own, practically running out of the room.

You don’t know why you end up standing in the doorway of Michael’s, but what you do know is that being there relieves some of the pressure in your head and chest.

It’s barren- not that your room is much better. You haven’t truly been in here since you moved in and the grey light through the window highlights the faded wallpaper and dusty floor.

A ratty sleeping bag is bunched along the wall facing towards the door. You feel guilty when you don’t see a pillow, just a small pile of bunched up clothes.

You’re hesitant stepping inside, crossing what has always been a boundary for the two of you. It feels forbidden, but the exhaustion left behind after the initial torrent of emotion and subsequent exertion leaves your knees weak and you sink down onto the sleeping bag.

Curling in on yourself, your fingers pull at something from his clothes pile. His black t-shirt.

Over the mustiness of the sleeping bag, his shirt smells like the deodorant you bought and something more distinctly him. Normally you would probably be more grossed out, but right now you close your eyes and feel comforted instead.

Your heart aches.

***

Michael left before the sun came up, he just couldn’t be around you right now. The closer it gets to Halloween, the more the itch becomes an urge becomes a burn and he can’t be sure the urge to put his hands on you will stay gentle. And if not gentle, at the very least survivable.

Since that night you confronted him, he’s been picking over the new feelings with more curiosity than frustration. Keeping things from you and trying to force things his way wasn’t working the way he thought it would, you’re not the same person he used to stalk anymore. Instead of running, you confront him; don’t get him wrong, Michael’s blood still runs hot for the chase, but this new familiarity leaves your vulnerability for teasing wide open.

Michael grips the handle of his knife harder thinking about the way your eyes widen when he steps into your space and your protests fall silent on your tongue, knowing you’re at his mercy. The way you squirm and try to hold your ground, pretending it does nothing to you - he can almost hear your heartbeat.

The woman he’s been stalking from the park’s tree line does nothing special for him, but watching her from this distance and biding his time satiates the buzz in the back of his head. It excites him too. Watching, waiting…it almost edges him, building up to the moment he can feel the pulse in someone’s neck speed up and give out or feel the knife slip past skin and bone. Their indulgent color red spilling out of them like a release, stuttering their final breaths.

From this distance, the woman’s blonde hair almost looks like Laurie’s. Michael exhales. He doesn’t like her so near to you. The night you went to the place with the campfire, he wanted to kill you then just to keep you away from her. But you went with him instead, promising him anything. And so he didn’t kill them that night.

But Laurie is still orbiting this house and you. So Michael may soon have to take that anything.

The blonde woman is joined by an unremarkable man and she emotes heavily to show her enthusiasm. The man looks almost bored, an indifference that Michael used to match for the rest of the world.

His favorite part of boring people was how much they would change when his knife was in them.

When the two begin to follow the wooded biking trail, Michael matches their leisurely pace out of sight. The sun is on its path down the sky and ducking behind clouds along the way. His vision tunnels with bloodlust, the longer he tracks, the longer his anticipation for the kill grows- keeping you at the back of his mind and humming under his skin.

***

The cardboard in the glass of the door is easily punched in, unnoticed in the dark. Stepping into the vestibule with the liquidity of a cat, Michael shuts the door behind him with a soft click.

He looks down at his boots. Mud and something that rhymes with it. Memories of the last time he made tracks in the house make him contemplate doing it again.

Michael toes off his boots. Without them, he’s quiet as a ghost, moving into the kitchen to find something to tear into.

His muscles feel relaxed and loose as he pulls the remnants of some Chinese takeout from the fridge, as if the red on his skin was a massage oil. He doesn’t bother with utensils and uses his fingers to pull noodles into his mouth, sticky brown sauce gaining a new iron flavor.

The empty container goes in the trash this time because Michael is in a good enough mood to follow your rules. He wipes his mouth on the back of his sleeve, having sated his two other needs tonight he begins to search for you.

Michael doesn’t plan for when he finds you, he just follows the trend of satisfaction he’s riding on. He enjoys the search of the bottom level of the house, the thrill of seeking excites him as if you two were playing a game.

Clearing the floor, he stops before the stairs looking up into the dark. Each step drags it out, bringing the second floor into view. The bathroom is dark and the door is open, leaving your bedroom as the last possibility.

Breath hot against his mask, Michael pushes your door open. You don’t jump at his entrance and your bed lies empty.

Confused and then frustrated, Michael huffs against his mask, his game ruined.

He exits, annoyed and ready to make that your problem.

His room is dark, but unlike the others where you seem to have blocked the windows, the moon and streetlights give enough ambient light to see the floor. Immediately, Michael can tell that things have moved.

Instinct has him strung tense in a moment as his gaze falls on your form. Fighting back the urge to yank you by the ankle, Michael walks closer. The fight response slowly dwindles as he silently observes, your form curled around his shirt replacing it with a different kind of tension.

Your arms are tucked in on yourself with his shirt, goosebumps prickling your flesh. Michael wants to run his hands over them and watch as your body shifts from sleep to surprise.

Would you try to get up and leave? Or maybe you would curl into his warmth…

Feeling a flush of heat, he turns and leaves the room. His legs carry him to yours and he pulls the blanket off your mattress. You don’t stir when he lays it over you, wrapping you up among his things.

Michael is good at watching and waiting.

[thevanillerose]

REMAIN | YANDERE!KUROO x READER | HAIKYUU!!

~ WRITING COMMISSIONS ~ ~ PATREON ~ ~ KO-FI ~

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. I do not own anything except my own writing. All properties belong to their respective creators.

CONTENT WARNING: Unhealthy Relationships / Violence

He could be such a demon.

You lingered at the side of the lounge, eyes welling up with fresh tears. Kuroo came waltzing into your apartment like he owned the place, and he might as well have. He'd already forced you to give him a spare key, and it wasn't as if you could impose a curfew on the guy. Heaven forbid...

“Hey sweetheart. Where were you today?” he sauntered up to you after making sure the front door was locked, one muscular arm looping around your back and pulling your frame right up against his. He stood lengthy, so your nose barely graced farther than the middle of his torso. His shirt smelled like fresh deodorant.  

“...I was at home.”

Hiding. From you.

“Yeah I noticed...” Kuroo pulled back enough to where you could see him looking down at you. Sharp, beady hazel pupils set in a handsome face. Those sly features he had were only a small part of what made him intimidating.

 What followed was the other reason. His hand abruptly grabbed your jaw, and you let out a yelp as he jerked your head to the side, grasping your hair with his other grip. He leaned down and in closely just so he could examine the skin around your collarbone, before inhaling deeply and sighing with relief.

“Good. Doesn't look like anyone was with you...doesn't smell like a stranger either. Or maybe it could be someone I know, I wouldn't put it past you.”

 He let go of your hair and your face, but only grabbed you by the elbow instead, forcing you to follow him through the admittedly comfy loft-style space.

“Screw me for caring about being cheated on, right?”

“But I never would cheat on you Kuroo!”

 Every time. Every day, every night, he did this. It was his nastiest habit, the fact that he would take one look at you and then things would turn into an interrogation. You knew why he did it though.

 He was trying to make it so you'd never leave him. These subtle little jabs of his were only steps he took towards making you more and more afraid. He disguised them as him just wanting to make sure you weren't cheating, but in reality, these were only steps towards one goal.

 Kuroo sought to hammer a simple fact into your head.  

“I'm stronger, faster and smarter than you. Don't try to mess with me. Don't ever leave me. Or else...”

 Or else...what, exactly? Well, he'd already made it clear. The Sword of Damocles that hung perpetually over your head, beyond what he might do to you, was the thought that he might hurt somebody you cared about. He knew that, and he used it to his advantage so that you might never leave his side.

 It worked. Kuroo had done so much to break you, that now his efforts lingered on in the form of your once confident self, reduced to a trembling figure, your once bubbly social life now nothing but the occasional text. You stayed home most of the time, too afraid to even go to school in case he caught you looking the wrong way at the wrong guy, and you knew he didn't mind that. He'd always come home and accuse you of being with someone while he was out anyway, but you knew he didn't believe that.

 The 'spare key' wasn't really a 'spare' after all. If he didn't want you coming out, then you had to stay. Locked up inside this gilded cage...

“Ahh...I know, I know.” Running a hand through his messy black hair, he glanced back at you again and smirked. He had already been busying himself with putting some rice in the cooker, and yet you were still standing there with sheer concern. He was just a mastermind at playing this game with you.

“Don't worry [Y/N]. I know you'd never try to leave me, I know you wouldn't. Isn't that right?”

 He came over again while dinner progressed by itself in the background, pulling you to him again and wrapping both arms tightly around you.

“You're so sweet...”

 All this because he wanted you to stay. Stick by him like you were superglued to the spot, stuck as a captive princess for this devilish guy.  

 It was easier to just obey.

 BZZT!

 Your phone went, and instinctively you looked around at where it sat upon the coffee table. Kuroo looked too though, and took you by the elbow again, hauling you over as he went to pick it up. You realized then just how bad this could be, and started to panic.

 What if one of my friends texted me accidentally!? I told them not to message me, but they might do it anyway! What'll he do if he sees that!? I should have hidden my phone somewhere--

 Palms sweating, you watched him read the screen with wide eyes. Of course he knew your password.

“...Heh.”

 A wry chuckle burst that bubble of taut tension.

“Cute. Your mom is just checking in on you.”

“Oh...” you started to smile, reaching up for the phone. That smile dropped as soon as he jerked it higher, grinning down at you malevolently.

“But...you don't have to answer, do you [Y/N]? Your mother should already know that you're completely fine as long as you're with me.”

 You watched with horror as he slid your only real source of communication with the outside world into his hoodie pocket, patting it a few times before leaning down and giving you a kiss on the forehead. It soon turned into something proper, as both hands clasped your cheeks and he thrust it upon your lips instead.

 Closing your eyes, you willed your tears back. There was no point in crying. No point in protesting. He held all of the cards here.   All you could do was remain.

Like my writing? I can write for you! Check out my WRITING COMMISSIONS! LIMITED TIME: Get 20% OFF any commission until the end of August!

[presidentbungus]

Demo starts scritching at the bottom of Scout’s skull, then slowly starts moving up, humming something he doesn’t recognize under his breath. Scout’s not really sure what he’s doing, but it’s nice. And it’s kinda hard to care when all he can think about is being pressed against Demo and it’s like sitting against a space heater he’s so fucking warm, their legs tangled together in front of them, and Scout just wishes he could see his face.

He can imagine it. Demo always makes the same face when he’s concentrating and he’s always concentrating on something (and right now he’s focused on Scout, just him, and fuck, man). He’s probably squinting at nothing in particular, and he’d be cross-eyed if he had two eyes, lips all stupidly puffed out like he’s clenching his teeth together. Maybe he’s sticking his tongue out just a little, like he does when he’s really in the zone.

… Probably thinking, like, wow, Scout’s so great, his hair’s so soft and nice, boy I’m lucky, I’m never gonna dump him unless he dumps me, in which case I would accept that as a reasonable decision and still be best friends with him afterwards because he’s just that great. Or something along those lines. He has to remind himself to unscrunch his eyes and unflare his nose and do something mostly regular with his mouth, and he spends a few seconds being really glad Demo can’t see his face right now because he probably looks really stupid.

And the whole time those smart, quick fingers keep brushing across his scalp, combing through his hair. His other arm’s got Scout all wrapped up, resting heavy enough against his chest his lungs pinch just a little when he breathes in too deep and don’t get him wrong, no complaints here. Demo keeps humming, probably something about pirates or krakens or taxes. Scout can’t think of anything to say and for the first time in his life nothing’s coming out of his mouth anyway. He’s sweating through the bandages on his hands though. And his heart’s hammering so hard he can feel it in the tips of his fingers, and he’s sure Demo’s able to feel it through his spine, and oh god is that embarrassing? Is he being fucking weird? Did he remember to put on deodorant this morning because oh god he’s so fucking sweaty, and maybe he should say something just to clarify, maybe something like I’m sorry if I smell bad and I’m sweaty, you’re really great and all, I like your arms a lot and your music’s stupid but you’re good at singing it, something like that really quick, oh my god oh my god…

And out of nowhere, right before Scout opens his big stupid mouth and gets himself broken up with, Demo pops his lips and says: “Scout, if you love me, ya gotta wash yer hair.”

“What—c’mon.” Scout’s worried that means the little head massage thing is over, but he still keeps going, thank god, and you know what, whatever.

“No, really.” Demo thinks on it. “Your scalp feels like a nice greasy patch of temperate swamp.”

He finally awkwardly cranes his neck back (trying to make sure Demo doesn’t move his arm and hey, he doesn’t) and sure enough, he’s making that stupid fucking face, tongue out and everything even though he just spoke, and whatever long line of nothing Scout had in his mouth just dissolves. Instead he manages to muster a faint: “Hey.”

“Just a touch of shampoo, Scoutie, I’m tellin’ ye. Could be nice.”

He scoffs. “I use shampoo.”

“You use a three-‘n-one. I’ve seen it.”

“And it works fine, asshole.”

“It could work better.” Before Scout can respond to this, that arm squeezes all the air out of him—probably on purpose—and Demo’s other arm presses on top of it, and his head nudges into the crook of Scout’s neck and says “Please, Scoutie, for me, just for me?”

… Aw man. “Fine, whatever,” he wheezes, and Demo lets go of him so he can throw his arms in the air. “But I don’t know any of that shit.”

“I promise I can work that out,” he hums, already back to scratching down Scout’s scalp. “Thank you, thank you,” suddenly attacking him with kisses down his neck and the side of his face, making the loudest friggin’ smacking sounds he can probably muster.

“Geez—geez, okay, I get it,” and some horrible embarrassing sound that’s probably supposed to be a laugh frees itself from his throat, and Scout barely tries to push him off. It doesn’t work, and he doesn’t stop. Thank god.

[kissorkill16]

When We Were Once Happy: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: A story before Trinity moved to Raven Brooks.

Chapter 20

3 weeks went by before Mr. Peterson was finally done with his latest creation, and was ready for the grand opening.

When Aaron texted the good news to Nicky, he practically flew off his seat in excitement.

Now here the Roth family was, getting ready to go to Golden Apple Amusement Park, the first amusement park they've ever been to. Nicky was impatiently standing by the door, stomping his foot and crossing his arm.

"Mom, hurry up! I want to get there in time to ride the new coaster!"

"Just give me a minute, Nicky. I'm still putting on my makeup."

Nicky had to hold back the urge to groan. He was too excited to wait any longer, he had promised Mr. Peterson that he'd be there in time, and he wanted to keep that promise. Another good thing about this was that Bubba wasn't coming, not like she wanted to come anyway.

Luanne finally made her way down the stairs. "Alright, I'm ready."

Jay ran to the front door after her. "Me too, I just had to finish my Ding Dongs."

Luanne rolled her eyes, "Of course your sweets come first before anything.", she said. "Now, have you both used the bathroom?"

"Yes."

"Does everyone have deodorant on?"

"Yes."

"Do we have everything we need before we leave?"

"Yes!"

"Okay then, now let's go."

On the way there, Nicky could barely stop shaking from so much excitement. He kept thinking about all of the fun things he and his friends would do when he got there. Riding rides, eating candy, playing games, and winning prizes. It was going to be the best day ever, he could tell.

About half an hour later, they finally made it, and Nicky practically bolted out of the car. But Luanne grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Honey, you need sunscreen.", she said, squeezing the bottle of white lotion and rubbing it on her son's face.

"Mom!", Nicky complained, his face turning red.

"It's always important to wear sunscreen on such a hot day like this.", she said.

Finally, after a face full of sunscreen later, they finally walked through the golden gates of Golden Apple Amusement Park.

Everything was so massive and shiny, like it was made of actual gold. It was beautiful.

Despite the beautiful scenery, Nicky was only focused on one thing, finding his friends and having some fun.

Jay and Luanne sat down at a nearby table, and Nicky ran off to find his friends.

"We'll be right here, just text us if you need us, Narf!", said Jay.

Nicky nodded at him before running off again.

The kid found his friends on a park bench, sitting near the carousel. He immediately waved at them, and they waved him over to join them.

"So glad you could make it, Nicky.", said Aaron.

"Yeah, I'm so excited. This is like, my first time at an amusement park."

Everyone looked at him surprised, like he just grew a tail.

"What?", asked Nicky.

"You've never been to an amusement park? Where have you been living all this time, under a rock?", Maritza asked, incredulously.

Nicky looked down at his feet and rubbed his arm.

Mya took his hand and pulled him onto the carousel. "Well we're here to make sure you have the best time of your life. Come ride the carousel with me!", she said, positioning herself on her mechanical horse.

Nicky positioned himself soon after, and the carousel started to ride them in circles, making such soft and energetic music.

"This is nice.", Nicky thought to himself, smiling softly.

When Nicky and Mya were done with the carousel, the group of friends went to the hammer and bell, the first one they put to test it out was Nicky, of course.

"This is easy, Nick. All you gotta do is hit the bell with the hammer. Seem easy enough?", asked Maritza.

Nicky shrugged. "I guess.", he said. He lifted the hammer high over his head, and slammed it down on the bell. However, it didn't make it very far.

"Sorry, I don't have much upper body strength.", he said. Maritza playfully rolled her eyes and took the hammer, "Let me show you how it's done, my friend.", she said.

She raised the hammer high over her head, and practically slammed it down on the bell, and the ding sound definitely sounded out.

"Yeah! That's what I'm fucking talking about!", she said. A man showed up with a giant teddy bear and gave it to Maritza.

The kids played so many more games after that. They played the apple basket toss, ring toss, leap frog, Cornhole, guessing booth, prize punch board, water gun race, cake walk, and balloon darts.

They all rode the Ferris wheel together. With Aaron next to Nicky, Enzo next to Ivan, Maritza next to Mya.

Up on the Ferris wheel, Nicky was completely mesmerized by the sight of the ground. How small everyone looked from up high, it was so cool.

"Having a nice time so far?", asked Aaron.

"The best time of my life.", replied Nicky. Then he looked up and turned to Aaron, "Do you know where Lucy is?", he asked.

"I think she's off somewhere playing games with her parents.", Aaron replied. "But we're all totally riding the ride together, and Lucy said she'd be here in time for the grand opening."

"Great. I totally can't wait!"

When the kids finally got off the Ferris wheel, they all saw Lucy at a nearby concession stand, a balloon tied on her wrist. Nicky immediately ran to her, "Lucy!", he said. Lucy turned her head to see Nicky, and she smiled and ran to her friend.

"I told you guys I'd be here.", she said.

"Nice balloon.", said Nicky, pointing to her red balloon.

"Thanks. I bought it with my Golden Apple coin.", she said. "What do you guys want to do?"

"We were about to go get some candy, and we're in a hurry! We gotta get to the golden apples before they run out!", said Mya, hopping up and down.

Lucy's eyes sparkled. "Oh! We better go!", she said, running to the candy stand.

The kids followed soon after.

The kids sat down, eating a whole bunch of snacks. Hot dogs, pizza, chips, chicken legs, corn dogs, and everyone's favorite, golden apples.

Mya held a sparkling wrapped candy to Nicky, "This is a golden apple. Try it, it's very good."

Nicky unwrapped the foil, and put the candy in his mouth. It's like the whole world exploded in colors. It was so sweet, but also sour, and it was crunchy and juicy, almost like a normal apple.

"This is amazing!", Nicky said, his hands flapping around like a baby bird.

"I told you. You want more? We got more than enough for everyone.", said Mya. Nicky nodded so fast.

A few snacks later, the kids could barely sit up straight from being so bloated. Nicky was so hyped on sugar and could barely sit down, was this what a sugar high felt like?

Just then, kids started running somewhere to the other side of the park, all screaming "IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE!", Nicky stopped running around and turned in the direction of where they were running to. It was all so crowded, and he could barely see. Before he could tell any of his friends, they were already up and running to the crowd.

"Come on, Nicky!", Aaron called out, Nicky ran behind the group.

The kids pushed their way to the front of the crowd. The first thing they saw was the mayor and Mr. Peterson, out of his usual argyle sweater, and in a freshly washed tuxedo.

The mayor held the microphone to his lips. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, kids of all ages, welcome to Golden Apple Amusement Park. You've all been waiting for it, hell, I've been waiting for it, and here it is. Before our very eyes. But before we announce the name of the ride, let's give a round of applause to the world famous engineer and theme park designer, Theodore Masters Peterson!"

Mr. Peterson stepped onto the stage, waving to the crowd as it clapped and squealed with excitement.

The mayor handed the microphone to Mr. Peterson.

"Thank you very much.", he said to the mayor, before turning back to the audience. "Now, this creation, unlike any other, is named after the one thing this park has to offer. Before I made this, I've noticed that there's no rollercoaster in this park, so I thought I'd change that. I've dropped many hints. It involves an apple, a rotten apple. Now let's get this show on the road.", he said, stepping back, and opening the gate to the coaster.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...", everyone waited with baited breath. "Rotten Core!"

The gate to the rollercoaster opened, and everyone applauded and excitedly squealed so hard, they could've started an earthquake.

The rollercoaster was large, had many twists and turns throughout the tracks, and on the tallest part of the track was a golden apple, with a hole and track going through it.

Nicky took out his phone and texted his parents, "I'm going on the new rollercoaster, I'll text you when I get off.", then he put his phone back in his pocket, but not before a hand grabbed it.

"You don't need to text us when we're right behind you, Narf.", it was his parents. Jay put Nicky's phone in his pocket, "We'll hold your phone until you get off the ride.", he said.

"And I've checked for any nearby trash cans and bathrooms in case you feel like throwing up.", said Luanne, and Nicky's face turned red.

"Geez, Mom! Announce it to the whole world why don't you?!", Luanne rolled her eyes and gave Nicky a kiss on his forehead.

"Have fun, sweetie.", she said.

Nicky ran to the coaster, along with all of his other friends. They all sat down in the cars, holding their hands on the metal bars, and Lucy tied her balloon string on her bar.

"You ready, sweetie?", asked Mr. Yi.

"A little nervous, but yes.", replied Lucy.

Mr. Yi smiled at his daughter, "It's alright, honey. Me and your mother will be watching. We'll be right here when you get off.", he said, giving Lucy a thumbs up.

Lucy gave her father a thumbs up back, still smiling nervously.

Mr. Yi stepped back and let the ride operator do his work, and soon enough, the carts started to move.

Nicky's heart started beating rapidly, and he didn't even realize he was hyperventilating until Aaron held his hand.

"What's the matter?", he asked.

"Nothing, Aaron. I'm just really nervous. This is just my first time on a rollercoaster.", Nicky replied, trying to steady his breathing.

Aaron squeezed his friend's hand, "It's going to be alright, Nicky. You'll be okay.", he said, giving him a reassuring smile.

Nicky smiled back, and tried to focus forward on the tracks.

The carts moved upwards on the hill of tracks, making the kids struggle to sit up. Then they were at the top, and suddenly, the carts stopped.

"What's going on? Why're we stopping?", Nicky asked, trying not to freak out.

"Dude, calm down. We're getting to the best part of the ride.", said Maritza in the cart ahead of him, and pointing to the front of the tracks.

Everyone in the carts put their hands up in unison.

Nicky turned to look at Aaron, "You're supposed to put your hands up for more fun.", he said. Nicky hesitated for a moment, but he eventually put his hands up.

Then he felt the wind being knocked out of him.

The carts jerked forward and now they were moving as fast as racecars, going in the same twists and turns on the tracks. Everyone screamed with excitement, everyone on the coaster was having the best time of their lives.

Nicky could barely keep himself together, he was feeling something in between a mix of fear and excitement. Maybe it was one or the other, or maybe it was both, he couldn't tell as he screamed. Either way, he was screaming so much.

"THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!!!", screamed Maritza.

"I'M GOING TO PUKE!", screamed Enzo.

"IT'S GOING SO FAST!!!", screamed Ivan.

All of the kids were screaming at each other as the carts started to go faster and faster than the moment before that, and it was starting to scare Nicky.

"IS THIS PART OF THE RIDE?", he asked Aaron.

"I DON'T KNOW!", Aaron replied, almost sounding as scared as Nicky.

"I'M SCARED!", screamed Lucy, holding onto the metal bar with her balloon.

Soon, the cars started moving faster than the speed of light. The speed became too much for any of the kids to handle, and everyone on the ground was panicking and trying to get the ride to stop.

Nicky was panicking the most out of the other kids, "I want to get off! I want to get off!", he kept screaming in his head.

"I WANT TO GET OFF!", Lucy screamed, "HELP! SOMEONE HELP! SOMEONE STOP THIS RIDE!"

By some miracle, the ride operator found the emergency brake, and pulled it so hard it could've come off.

However, the carts didn't stop, instead, they broke off the tracks and started flying off high into the sky. Before anyone knew it, the carts dropped all the way into a forest full of trees.

The last thing Nicky heard before everything went dark was Lucy's high-pitched, earth shattering scream.

[kaz-playz]

i just KNOW gov has chronic bad breath.

Stained teeth like a motherfucker. He's always wearing a suit but his hygiene is something to be desired.

He's always working and drinking coffee to stay awake so theres no time to shower or brush his teeth.

His dentist hates him.

For social events that his job requires of him, he has emergency whitening kits for his teeth and arm&hammer toothpaste he also keeps hella lifesaver mints in his pocket. For meetings he'll shower at least 24 hours before and maybe brush his teeth.

His teeth also hate him. Hes gotten gingivitis at least 17 times and a really bad tonsil infection.

This mf thinks axe and spray deodorant every once in a while is a shower.

His office has opened (not lit) scented candles EVERYWHERE bcs he is AWARE that he stinks hr just wont cant take 20 mins at MOST to shower.

Real image from Gov's bathroom

^Toothbrush only used twice

[eva-knits12]

I have to use aluminum free deodorant.

I'm allergic to aluminum zirconium, the main ingredient in most deodorants. I go to the men's side of the deodorant aisle because it has a much better selection of aluminum free deodorants that work for me. Degree has a nice selection of aluminum free deodorants-the brand that is in the pic-Right Guard has a nice selection, too. Old Spice has a line of fragranced deodorants that are all aluminum free. Arm and Hammer used to make some aluminum free deodorants, but I haven't seen them.

I think it's great that more brands are getting into the aluminum free game, so for me, it doesn't limit my selection. In 2016, my selection was very limited. Arm and Hammer was the only brand that had an aluminum free option then, so that's what I had to use. There were other brands, but they were expensive. Now, in 2024, there are a lot more options.

[arctic-hands]

Wooow this Arm & Hammer deodorant really doesn't deodorize

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

Your armpits!! You might be having an allergic reaction to a product if you’re experiencing this consistently, I went through something similar! Ivory bar soap and Arm & Hammer deodorant (both unscented) is a good starting point, best of luck

honestly i for real think it's a fungal infection. i've tried sooo many kinds of deodorant, including full weeks where i would use no deodorant and just wash my pits two or three times a day(not a good idea). ive tried changing my detergents and soaps and fabrics. staying very shaved, staying unshaved. misery.

now that im saying it yeah it's probably a fungal infection. but antifungal cream activates my texture yuck and smells sooooo bad fuck.