#argh this just reminded me of how trash that story was

[luna-rainbow]

hi, different anon. i wanted to add to the thoughts but i'm shy. i assumed bucky's rules were set up because his moral compass was skewed by his time with hydra (not necessarily in a way that makes him a bad person, just in ways that alters his perspective on what situations need force and who maybr deserves rough treatment). we saw clearly in the series that bucky doesn't mind breaking the law or hurting people he considers bad, he is also impulsive and self-destructive. i always assumed the rules were given as actually needed guidance to help him face former-hydra associates.

Hello Shy Anon:

There was no indication, up until TFATWS, that Bucky was ever impulsive, or “doesn’t mind breaking the law”. He stayed under cover for 2 whole years while Steve, Hydra, and everyone else who wanted the Winter Soldier (and there were plenty, judging by Zemo’s auction) were hunting for him. The only story that characterises him as that is TFATWS which is the very series that treats him like he had agency as the Winter Soldier.

The “doesn’t mind hurting people who he thinks is bad” is kinda the defining trait of every MCU superhero so I’m not sure why Bucky specifically needed rules to stop him from doing that — except, of course, the narrative didn’t believe he was a hero until he had the magic boat-fixing scene that fixed his trauma and apparently his wonky moral compass too.

Also, the only action that comes across as impulsive is him breaking Zemo out of jail, which already makes no logical sense for Bucky to do and I’ve already talked about it at length 20 times before so I’m not going to again. Him hacking the car then calling the police to arrest the Hydra senator was highly premeditated and not an example of impulsiveness.

Sorry if I am sounding cranky, anon, but a lot of these have been discussed ad nauseum in the 12 months after the series’ release and I’m not keen to retread the issues and attract fresh disk horse. If you read the post I linked in that ask, I talked about the narrative intent in rewriting Bucky to be aggressive and volatile. The story didn’t know how to handle him except “Winter Soldier bad, he needs a (Black) found family to fix him” while ignoring the fact that he already had the same friggin arc in Civil War to Black Panther.

Also why was he being sent to face former Hydra associates on his own as part of his amends when Raynor called him a civilian?

[bitcher-of-blaviken]

The Death of a Bard

Rating: T Warnings: None WC: 1,783 Tags: Modern AU, family shenanigans, Geralt is a good dad, fluff, nobody is dead i swear

Geralt sniffed and subtly wiped a tear from his eye as Yennefer stood beside him, a hand on his shoulder. Eskel stood on Geralt’s other side, a box of tissues clasped in his large hands. In front of them, Jaskier laid in the long makeshift coffin, his hands clasped over his stomach with flowers tucked under them. They were just wildflowers that Ciri found out in the backyard where they were all standing, but it’s how Jaskier would have wanted his funeral to be like. Off the cuff, nothing grand, a cheap cardboard box instead of a grand and beautiful coffin of mahogany and a plush velvet interior. Geralt knew that this was what the humble musician would have always truly wanted.

Lambert stood on the other side of the box. “Dearly beloved and hated, we are here to celebrate the death of Jaskier—“

“It’s to celebrate the life, Lambert,” Geralt interrupted. He cleared his throat and sniffled again. “He had a good life. He deserves to be celebrated.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever,” Lambert retorted with a scoff. He fumbled with the wrinkled paper in his hands. He was dressed in his nicest outfit, which was his work uniform for the post office. It was sufficient. “We are here to celebrate the life of Jaskier, who died from a fatal gunshot wound in the stomach. He bled out slowly and painfully, murdered in cold blood.”

“Who would do such a horrible thing?” Eskel lamented, his voice watery. “He was so young. He had so many more years ahead of him, so much more music to make, so much— I’m running out of words.” He choked out a sob and took a tissue out from his box to blow his nose into it, comically loud.

“Nobody move,” Ciri called out, walking out with an oversized fedora on. It was nearly falling over her eyes as she stomped out, her chest puffed out despite the large trenchcoat she wore trailing half behind her on the ground. “We have reason to believe the murderer is among this group. Nobody gets in or out.”

Gasps came from all of them.

“Oh come on lady, all of us loved the guy. Some more than others,” Lambert said with a pointed look at Geralt, who flushed. “None of us would kill him. We don’t even have guns.”

“Is that so?” Ciri asked, showing them all a plastic ziploc bag. Inside was a tiny, bright pink water gun. “I’m Detective Cirilla. We found this on the crime scene.”

More gasps from all of them, though there was barely suppressed snickers from Lambert.

“You think this is funny, do you?” Ciri asked as she strode over to Lambert. “There is a man dead in front of us and you think to laugh? Sounds like something the murderer would do.”

“No I’m laughing because it’s a fuckin’ pink water gun,” Lambert interjected with a grin.

“Language,” Yennefer chided.

“No, it is the murder weapon and you better start giving an alibi or you’re going to jail for some interrogation,” Ciri insisted with a shake of the ziploc bag. The harmless water gun rattled around inside of it.

Lambert cleared his throat and put his hands up at the equally hard stares from everyone else at the funeral. “Fine,” he relented. “I was in the kitchen, getting dinner ready.”

“What were you cooking?” Ciri asked, her tone and glare so serious that Geralt even saw Yennefer have to bring a hand up to suppress a smile.

“Pancakes,” Lambert replied equally as seriously. He even crossed his arms and leaned down to meet Ciri’s glare, their noses nearly touching.

“Hm. A likely story,” Ciri relented with a huff. She marched over to Eskel and pointed a tiny finger up at him. Geralt had to hand it to him, he still managed to look convincingly frightened even with an eight year-old in a too big hat and far too big trenchcoat pouting up at him. “And what about you? What were you doing at the time of the murder?”

“I was just— reading with Kitty curled up on my lap. I wasn’t able to move, much less murder someone. I’ve never seen that gun in my life,” Eskel defended, his hands up. “I swear detective, I would have never!”

“I see, and you?” Ciri asked as she whirled around to point at Geralt.

“You think I would have murdered him?” Geralt asked, his tone coming out more flat than it probably should have. He wasn’t good at the theatrics like Eskel and Lambert were. “We just married last week, we were supposed to go on our honeymoon. You were there detective.” It was true, Ciri had married him and Jaskier last week.

“I see,” Ciri said, rubbing her chin as she thought. “But what about his will?”

“What about it?” Geralt asked.

“I have it here,” Lambert said as he cleared his throat. He pulled out a folded piece of paper from his pocket and unfolded it.

“Well? Don’t tarry on man, read it!” Ciri demanded. Geralt bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. At least she was learning a wide range of vocabulary.

“Yeah yeah, it says ‘If I die, I leave all of my earthly possessions to my newly wedded husband Geralt, including…” Lambert gave a loud gasp.

“What does it say? Including what?!” Ciri asked.

“It says ‘Including my super duper big family inheritance that I have stored away in the coast of Belize’. He was loaded!” Lambert exclaimed.

“Let me see that,” Ciri said as she snatched the paper out of Lambert’s hands. She hummed as she looked over the paper, which really just had the will written out in crayon with multiple words misspelled, including Geralt’s name, but nobody commented on that. She gasped and waved the paper. “This will is forged! I knew it!”

Everyone else gasped as well.

“Forged?” Yennefer asked.

“Yes! His signature was faked,” Ciri decided as she showed the paper to Yennefer.

A loud snore from the “coffin” interrupted them, and Geralt kicked the cardboard box. Jaskier gave a yelp from the jostling.

“Corpses don’t snore,” Geralt chided.

“Sorry, sorry, I was just comfy, and you all were droning on, it faded into background noise,” Jaskier mumbled. He yawned and rubbed his eyes as he settled back in the cardboard box. He reached up with one hand, gesturing in a small circle. “Continue.”

“Thank you sir,” Ciri said with a nod. “Sorry about your death.”

“Thank you for your condolences detective,” Jaskier said. “I shall now go back to being dead now. Blargh.”

Geralt huffed a laugh as Jaskier put his hands back on his stomach and clasped them over the flowers again.

“Now! Who would gain from such a forgering, if not Geralt!” Ciri declared as she rounded back on Geralt. “You murdered your new husband in cold blood, to take his secret fortune for yourself!”

“I wouldn’t,” Geralt protested with another sniffle. “I— loved him. A lot. I was really looking forward to the honeymoon. We even had our entire trip planned.” He produced the two strips of green construction paper from his jacket pocket, with the words “Honeymoon tickets” written on them in crayon with a lot of little red hearts around the words.

“I see,” Ciri said, taking the tickets from him to inspect them carefully. “But then why forge the will?”

“I was framed,” Geralt sighed. “Someone must have wanted me to be out of the way. Someone who would have gotten the fortune instead.”

“Someone like..his long lost sister?!” Ciri asked as she pointed an accusatory finger at Yennefer.

“How did you know detective?” Yennefer gasped, a hand on her chest.

“In the victim’s bedroom, I found the actual will stuffed under the mattress!” Ciri said as she whipped out another piece of paper. Everyone gasped again. “But this one says the exact same thing as the forged one! Everything is to be left to Geralt, including his super duper huge family fortune! So why would Geralt have forged a will if he was going to get Jaskier’s family fortune anyways?” She waved the paper at Yennefer. “So I looked around, and found a chain of letters between you two! He wanted to reconnect with his lost sister, and told you about the fortune he inherited from your parents that he was going to share with Geralt!”

“It should have stayed in the family!” Yennefer cried.

“Exactly! And if the forged will was deemed trash and I hadn’t found the true will, then it would have gone to you!” Ciri said with a proud grin. She mirrored Yennefer’s pose, her hands on her hips as she puffed her chest out. “Case closed!”

“Argh, I was so close to getting away with it,” Yennefer said as she offered her hands for Ciri to clasp the toy handcuffs on her.

“Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and— um.” Ciri paused, trying to remember.

“Certain nuclear weapons,” Lambert reminded her with a snicker.

“Yeah!” Ciri said with a grin. “Just like my Uncle Lambert always says!” She bounced and grabbed one of Yennefer’s hands. “The judge has already decided your sentence. It’s a thousand years in jail! We’re locking you away for a long time.”

“That seems fair for a murder,” Yennefer relented as she let Ciri tug her back into the house.

Geralt smiled as he watched them disappear inside, and he turned to help Jaskier stand up out of the box. Jaskier winced and rubbed his backside.

“Ah, that was cold,” he said.

“I told you,” Lambert snickered. “Not so funny when it’s your turn to be dead, now is it?”

“I think I liked it better when Ciri was marrying us to each other,” Eskel muttered. “Are you sure she should be watching those crime shows?”

“Can’t really stop her,” Geralt said with a shrug. “It teaches her big words, and at least that way we don’t have to try to explain to her what incest is and why it’s bad.”

“I was having the time of my life,” Lambert teased with a snicker. “I rocked that wedding dress.”

“Geralt wore it better,” Jaskier fired back with a grin.

“Dead people don’t get opinions,” Lambert said as he led the way to the house again. “Come on, let’s get inside before the detective eats all of the carrots.”

Jaskier slipped his hand into Geralt’s and kissed his cheek. “I absolutely would leave you my super duper big family fortune that I stashed on the coast of Belize if I had it,” he cooed.

“I know,” Geralt chuckled.

“Do you think she even knows where Belize is?”

“Probably not.”

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

Lukewarm (Bakugou Katsuki X Reader)

THIS IS PURE FLUFF YA’LL~! This came to me one night when I actually just reheated some old pasta in my fridge and I thought ‘probably not an ideal thing to eat for dinner’ lol and so I used that as inspiration~!! 

Let’s face it, Bakugo wouldn’t settle for that kinda thing so... this story was born~! And featuring Taromaru from Gakkou Gurashi!!

Summary: Bakugo doesn’t think you eat good enough...

You gave a yawn as you just came back from outside to let Taromaru out to take care of business and then the first place you went to was the kitchen.

Dorm-life meant that you could have other people cook for you, so that was pretty awesome, but you still had freedom to cook yourself some food as well. Although you weren’t exactly much of a ‘cook’ at all, you knew how to boil noodles and pasta, and heat up sauce and other things. That was better than nothing right?

You thought so. And once you and your puppy were in the kitchen, you decided to feed him too since earlier before he’d been trying to drag you into the kitchen so you could give him some food. So you grabbed a bag of dog food that you had decided to bring and keep in one of the cabinets, along with a bowl that said ‘Taromaru’ on it and filled it up with chow.

Taromaru happily barked as he began chomping and crunching away at the puppy food as you couldn’t help but giggle. “My thoughts exactly boy.” You smiled as you decided to just help yourself to some leftovers of ‘lunch’ you made for yourself the other day, or rather, 2 days ago when you needed something to satisfy your cravings.

Pasta, still sauced up in the bowl just like you had left in the container. You shrugged your shoulders and deemed that your snack for the night since it wasn’t exactly yet let. 11 pm wasn’t that late right? You thought so as you put the container in the microwave to nuke it for about 1 minute or two.

Nice and hot, and it tasted mostly like it did the day you made it as you happily ate your food, not bad. Now you and Taromaru were both enjoying a late-night snack. However, you didn’t hear your phone vibrating on the side of the couch where you put it. Nor did you remember that Bakugo often liked to text you to remind you to ‘go to fucking bed’ since you didn’t have good sleeping habits. Or eating habits for that matter.

Ever since you and he started dating he was bit judgy but to your surprise, it wasn’t really mean, just his abrasive way of showing that he cared about you and wanted you to get healthier habits so you don’t fuck up your sleep schedule or gain extra unwanted weight.

You grew to adore Bakugo, he was a kinder boyfriend than he led on and he was definitely something you could hug and hold at night when it was cold. Although, you also had Taromaru to hug and cuddle with at night, so there were times where you naturally chose your puppy to cuddle with instead.

Bakugo still wasn’t very fond of Taromaru, especially when you and he started dating. That pup was always stealing your attention away from him and he still growled at him too because Taromaru wasn’t fond of Bakugo either. But that was mostly because Bakugo was loud and he yelled at him and you which the puppy didn’t like at all so he held a bit of a grudge against him for that.

“RUFF!” Taromaru started growling as he stood in the room and got that angry stance as you perked up a bit, “Taromaru?”

“Who are you barking at mutt?” It was Bakugo, angrily sneering at the puppy who dared to challenge him as he barked at him before scampering backwards and then jumping on the couch to sit right next to you. But the blonde continued to glare at him, before he turned it to you and gave his own low growl.

“Didn’t you get my texts stupid?”

Your (E/C) eyes slightly widened as you reached over to get your phone and saw the unread texts, “Ah… sorry… I didn’t hear my phone even going off…” Wincing slightly you hoped he understood but then you saw him look at you with a slightly horrified look.

“What the fuck are you doing…?” Why did he sound so shocked and disgusted?

“Sitting… and uh… eating a midnight meal…?” You answered him very awkwardly since that WAS what you were doing but why did that shock you?

“And what the fuck is that…?” He pointed at that… dreck that he was referring to, even though you really didn’t see what the problem was. “Hot pasta from 2 days ago… well… actually it’s more lukewarm than anything but… still tastes good.” You still sounded awkward and got a little bit nervous because you could still feel his eyes on you.

You dared to look up and you could definitely see more disgust in his features, “Do you… want some?” Probably shouldn’t have asked him that as his eyebrow twitched a bit, “Hell no! Don’t eat that shit! It’s the worst thing for you at this hour! At least get something quality!” He started to fuss and make a rant about how you sometimes ate the worst things as you just pouted a little as you put another forkful of pasta in your mouth.

“Argh! Stop it! I’ll just cook you something better!” He couldn’t take it anymore, he wasn’t going to just let you eat that garbage and you couldn’t help but smile a little bit. Your boyfriend just wanted you to eat something that was actually good compared to just reheated noodles.

“It’s like 11 at night…” You muttered a little bit of logic to him, but he didn’t seem to care, “I don’t give a shit, my girl is NOT eating that kind of trash.” He replied to you coolly as you giggled a bit. “Okay well since it’s night-time, I’d like a crepe.”

“Sure!”

He sounded angry but he would make you the best damn crepe you’ve ever had in your life, because you were his girlfriend and you were only going to eat the best, quality food. “Arf!” And Taromaru happily barked at him for being nice enough to actually cook you something at this time of night.

Bakugo stared back at the dog when he heard him back, and the dog wasn’t growling at him, in fact he seemed to be happy? He couldn’t tell, it was a dog. “Arooo~.” Taromaru gave a low, sweet little bark though that made Bakugo scoff a bit. “Dumb dog…” He muttered as he just focused on starting to cook for you.

You were so going to gain extra weight but you didn’t care as you just ate up not one, but two deliciously made, piping hot crepes that your boyfriend so sweetly made for you with the right amount of crème and strawberries. “They’re so thin!!” You exclaimed through a mouthful of crepe as Bakugo just stared at you, beaming with pride as you ate up what he made just for you.

“Good.” He pretended that he didn’t care even though the smirk was clear that he was proud to give you something WORTH eating. “Thanks Katsuki! Ya know you really didn’t have to go through all the trouble…” Still you felt kind of bad that he did a lot of hard work and took time out of his schedule just to cook you something.

“There’s no way in HELL I’m letting you eat that kind of shit. As long as we’re dating, you’re eating good.” He said to you somewhat sternly as your cheeks warmed at this. Bakugo was a jerk, yes, but it was clear that he loved you, and dammit you loved him too. Who doesn’t love a man who can cook?

“Ahhh… now I think I can go to sleep…”

Once you were finished with your dessert you were resting peacefully on Bakugo’s bed, rubbing your stomach now with a pleased look on your face, much to Bakugo’s slight annoyance and amusement. “Good, you don’t sleep good either…” He uttered as you giggled a bit, and cuddled up to him at just how much he cared for you.

“I will tonight~.” And you said a little flirtatiously as he blushed furiously and rolled his eyes, but didn’t dare move away from you.

At least…

“Arf!” Taromaru jumped onto his bed, already walking his way over towards you and Bakugo, as you perked up and smiled, “Taromaru~!!” You beamed as Bakugo grunted and growled, “Hey! Dammit… you little…!” He nearly shouted but the puppy wasn’t deterred as he curled up in a little ball right at your feet and gave a small yawn.

“Awww~.” You cooed at how cute he was but Bakugo didn’t find him as cute, dammit he wanted to be alone with you tonight but of course that pup just HAD to follow you. “Just go to bed…” However, he knew Taromaru wasn’t going to leave so he just sighed in annoyance and plopped his head onto his pillow, and to his surprise you still cuddled up to him with a smile.

“Good night Katsuki~. Thanks for tonight~.” You tiredly but sweetly said to him before you rather quickly fell asleep and Bakugo couldn’t help but scoff and smirk as he put his arm around you.

“Yeah, yeah…”

[mobius-prime]

273. Sonic the Hedgehog #200

Turn About is Fair Play

Writer: Ian Flynn Pencils: Tracy Yardley! Colors: Matt Herms

Welcome to the two-hundredth issue of the Archie Sonic preboot! It's another big milestone issue, but unfortunately, compared to some of the others it's a little… light on content, if you will. Most of it consists of pages and pages of fighting, some of it with very little dialogue other than "Ugh!" and "Oof!" and "Argh!" It honestly reminds me in a way of those old, early-era issues that were mostly just Sonic and Knuckles beating the crap out of each other in various locales with a few pages before and after to explain why they'd decided to get into a tussle this time - only now, the big fight is between Sonic and, of course, Eggman.

Right off the bat, Eggman makes kind of a weird comment, claiming that Sonic has been a thorn in his side for "fifteen years and more." I say it's weird because no matter how you look at the timeline, it doesn’t really seem to match up. It can't be referring to Sonic's age, because Sonic is seventeen here, and he certainly didn't start fighting Eggman when he was two - the coup hadn't even happened at that point. And it can't be referring to how long the war has been going on for similar reasons. Sonic's been actively carrying on the fight against Eggman and his predecessor for about a decade now, assuming that he and the others formed the core Freedom Fighter group when he was around seven, but that still leaves several years unaccounted for. The only thing I can think of to make this comment make sense is that Eggman is specifically thinking about his previous war with the Sonic of his home zone. We know that his history was virtually identical to Sonic Prime's up until the events of Endgame, during which he roboticized himself to avoid losing outright. We can assume the fight went on a couple more years from there, and after his long stint in space as a computer program (anyone ever think about how weird Archie Sonic lore is) Eggman has been waging war anew against the Prime Zone's Freedom Fighters, and we can assume this has gone on for nearly two years at this point as well considering Sonic's year in space. I suppose, considering all that, that it could technically add up to fifteen years, but it's still a weird comment to make. Then again, we know that Eggman has been kind of losing it lately, and Sonic's careless and mocking attitude certainly doesn't help.

As their battle begins, Sonic smugly begins checking off the list of every way Eggman has failed to keep his empire in order - how "a group of kids with no real training" have continuously thwarted him in every way, how his failures always translate directly into wins for the heroes, and how even in the times he has won, such as at Knothole, it's been temporary at best, with the heroes coming out even stronger on the other side. Eggman sputters in a fury as Sonic continues to list off his failures, how he doesn't even control nearly as much of the world as he claims and that even in the places he does control the people hate him and want him gone, and how in the end, Sonic is confident he can beat him again just like always. What follows is what I mentioned before, just pages and pages of fighting as Sonic continues to trash the Egg Spider and Eggman grows more and more apoplectic and incoherent until he's reduced to screaming about how much he hates Sonic. After a good bit of bashing and spindashing, the Egg Spider is finally reduced to scrap, and Sonic, feeling quite pleased with the way their final battle has gone, strikes a nice victory pose.

And then… this happens.

Yikes. We knew that Eggman was slowly losing his grip on reality, but this is just downright disturbing. Sally tries to report to Sonic on the team's success and the Legion's retreat, but finds herself distracted by Eggman's gibbering tantrum, asking Sonic what the hell he did to him. Sonic is equally at a loss to explain what's going on, but Snively's voice interrupts the both of them, grimly informing them that this final defeat has completely broken his uncle's mind in half.

I'll admit, the first time I read this I did not see this coming despite the lead-up - it almost seemed like too much, like something of this caliber wouldn't make it into a comic for kids (well, more like teens at this point - I feel like the storylines have long since gone beyond being for young children). And yet in the end, I feel like that's exactly why Ian is so beloved as the head writer - he was willing to take things seriously, include real stakes for the characters and write in plot developments like this that would completely change the status quo. Eggman has been consistently losing his way through every Sonic game, comic, anime, and every other piece of media for decades now, and at some point, in some canon, it was liable to break him entirely. Just, no one ever expected it to be this dramatic.

Everyone else bursts into the room, and they begin to celebrate wildly as they realize the war is over, though Sonic stands amid the chaos with a look of blank disappointment on his face. Sally recovers fairly quickly and begins crying from happiness, using Nicole's handheld to broadcast the message of their victory to the entirety of New Mobotropolis, where the citizens are celebrating wildly in the streets. As they make their way back out of the Eggdome, Tails and Amy excitedly get Sonic to recount the battle to them, but he's less than enthusiastic, missing his usual dramatic flair. When questioned on his attitude, or lack thereof, he frowns and claims that he's merely tired after the fight, which they accept without question.

I'm not surprised Sonic doesn't feel right about all this. I'm sure he thought the finale to the big showdown was going to be, well, epic, with Eggman angrily sputtering about how he'll get him next time only to have his ego taken down a notch by Sally's end-of-the-war speech. It can't feel at all good to beat your enemy so hard that he literally goes insane, even if he is a genocidal maniac. After all, Sonic isn't cruel - he doesn't fight for the express purpose of torturing Eggman, he fights to protect the people and the world he loves. Causing such extreme mental anguish just isn't something he's interested in, and yet his actions have led to it anyway, causing some serious emotional conflict for him. But hey, he's Sonic, and in the end he's able to pick up and carry on, satisfied that in the long run he's done the right thing. And hey, it is the end of the war! Time to enjoy, for the second time, a new era of peace and prosperity with no more dire threats to the world and his family and friends' safety! Right? R…right?

Of course not! Where would we be if there was no more conflict in this comic?! I mean, granted, there was an entire era in the past dealing with precisely that - how child soldiers deal with trying to live an ordinary life after fighting an adults' war - but it'd be kinda weird to try to just rehash all that a second time over. Plus, Sonic has grown up since then - I feel like if the story truly did end here and there were no more villains to face, Sonic would ultimately be able to adjust and live a happy and fulfilling life without all the constant hero work to keep him busy. But as it is, there is another situation brewing - don't tell me you forgot about Snively's little online romance! After securing Eggman in a straightjacket and padded cell within the Eggdome, Snively makes his way to the landing pad on top of the Eggdome, ordering all the Legion's members to meet him up there. He's ready to introduce them all to their new leader, who will be taking over the running of the Eggman Empire now that its namesake is, ahem, indisposed. And this new ruler just so happens to be…

T-the Iron Queen? You mean that one-off character from waaayyy back in StH#60? Yeah, see, I did hint at this back in my review of that issue. I think I've mentioned it before, but Ian is very fond of bringing back old, forgotten characters and concepts from the earliest days of the comic and breathing new life into them, finding ways to weave them back into the story to become much more interesting than they had been before. The Iron Queen, here, is a technomancer, and quite power-hungry (and apparently has a thing for tiny gremlin men, despite being married to a gigantic Mobian bull). I will admit that she's not my favorite villain of the series, but she's not a bad one at all, and indeed it's her arrival that catapults us out of the sixth era and into the seventh, as we get ready to face down the menace of her Iron Dominion! Man, so much for peace. Sonic never does get a break, does he?

[laws-hat-headcanons]

Hi Hat can you tell us more about Arayas scars? or bit more on her backstory? P.s she is cutie!

First of all Anon how dare you say such nice things about my trash child. Second. Thank you and I love you. I genuinely means so much to me that any of you are even interested (unless it's just the same Anon??? In which case I love you???)

Super lame and angsty and also long so BY GOD I hope my read more works. A thousand gold stars if you manage to read it all *blows kisses*

Wilder Arayya (OC): Scars

Arayya, aged 3-ish

Arayya is lying on the deck, trying to nap in the last remnants of the sun when Luffy bounds over, landing unceremoniously across her stomach, driving the air from her body.

"Oi, Arayya, I want a story!" He demands, rolling across her, ignoring her coughing and spluttering.

"Argh, no, I'm trying to relax." She says, trying to shove him off of her with no success as his rubber arms loop around her and hold her tight. "Luffy! Get off!"

"Story please!" He says again and Arayya sighs because she knows when there is no point arguing with him (which is most of the time) and she really doesn't have the energy this late in the day.

"Fine, what kind of story do you want?" She asks, relenting as Luffy untangles his limbs from hers and sits back with a grin.

She tries not to flinch when he reaches out and runs a finger down the scar along her forearm. 

"Tell me about how you got all these neat scars!" Luffy asks, missing the pained look that crosses her face at the very personal request. She thinks about saying no, about flat out refusing because she doesn't have to. She could lie and he would never know, wouldn't even question it, but in the end he is her captain. He has never pried before, never questioned her odd abilities or strange appearance. Of all the people, he will judge her the least. She hopes.

"It's not a happy story," She warns him. "You still wanna hear it?" 

"Mhmm." The captain nods. And Arayya mirrors the action, taking a deep breath to gather her thoughts, then she begins.

"Once upon a time there as a woman, a beautiful woman, the daughter of a rich and powerful nobleman. She fell in love with a young pirate who visited her island and the two of them ran away together - much to the anger of her father who wanted his daughter to marry for political gain, to further his position," Arayya began, adjusting her position. "But the two of them were in love and so they went against his wishes. It did not take long before the young woman fell pregnant and when she gave birth to a healthy baby girl the Pirate was over the moon. His little girl had her mothers looks, but everyone agreed that she had her fathers eyes."

"What colour were her eyes?" Luffy asks, rocking back and forth, eager to hear more.

"Does it matter? I don't know, blue?" Arayya shrugs, because she doesn't know - doesnt remember - and continues. "They lived happily together for a few years, watching their daughter grow - but then the Pirate had to leave, he had to continue his journey to make his mark on the world. The young woman continued to raise their daughter alone, but she struggled. Without the support and passion of her lover she grew despondent with the life of a peasant, her small house, no servants, having to do everything herself and the lack of beautiful things she had grown used to in her earlier life. The young woman returned to her father and begged him to take them back. He said he would, but that she would have to give up her child. Without the child her could pretend his daughter had not disobeyed him, could still find her a good marriage. So she had to make a choice."  

"But she didn't go back, right?" Luffy asks, tilting his head to one side. "She didn't leave the girl?"

"Stop interrupting and I'll tell you." Arayya huffs, rolling her eyes.

"The woman told herself that with the child they would both be miserable, at least it she gave the girl up she could be happy - so the woman took her daughter, now some three years old, and left her in the care of an orphanage in the lesser part of the city. She told the girl to never speak her birth name to anyone, that if she did something very bad would happen to her, to her mother and to her Pirate father. And so, terrified, the girl never said her name aloud ever again, tried to forget it for the sake of the family that abandoned her." Arayya explained, clamping a hand over Luffy's mouth as she saw him about to protest. "I told you it wasn't a happy story! Don't butt in." 

The captain pouted but kept quiet, so she continued. 

"The orphanage was not a kind place. Often there was not enough food or bedding to go around all the children and the older boys and girls would take what they wanted from the younger to survive. The girl would likely have died it that first year had she not had the luck of befriending an older boy," Arayya explained, shifting again. "The boy made sure she got her cut of food, kept her warm and clothed and in turn she loved him as a brother." 

Luffy smiles at this, remembering his own childhood with his brothers. Arayya feels her heart pinch at his expression and carries on.

"A man came to the orphanage one day and showed interest in adopting the girl, now five years old - but she would not be separated from her brother. The man begrudgingly agreed to take both children, so together they left the orphanage behind and traveled with the man to their new home," Arayya pauses as she watches Luffy's grin, and debates reminding him that this is not a happy story. "When they arrived at their new home, a number of islands away from their places of birth, they were amazed to find a huge mansion with acres of ground to play in. The man promised they would have time to explore the grounds of the estate later, that first they must go to their rooms. The two children did not realise that they would not be allowed outside again for many years."

"Why wouldn't they be allowed outside if there was all this space?" Luffy asks, puzzled. She ignores him.

"It becomes clear to the girl and boy very quickly that the man did not want children, but soldiers. They find out that they are not the only children residing in the mansion, that there are at least twenty other kids there, all of them orphans, all children that would not be missed if something happened to them," Arayya says, and she tries very hard to keep the bitterness from her voice. "What follows in the next few years for the two children is constant training, daily sessions to hone their killing skills. The man shaves their hair and tattoos the children at the base of their skulls. The girl receives the tattoo of zero-three-nine. The boy receives zero-four-zero. They undergo experiments and surgeries to enhance their minds and bodies. The strengthening of their bones by bonding them with metal, their muscles, their ability to heal, their metabolism, their strength, their stamina, their hearing... their eyesight."

The smile has slipped off of Luffy's face. Arayya debates stopping. He gets it now, he doesnt need to hear the rest but she hasn't told this story to anyone ever before, and she isn't sure she can stop.

"They took her eyes, Luffy." Arayya says quietly, bringing a hand up to touch the scar just below her left eye. She knows that if he looks he will see the implants, the metal that runs through her body and stained her eyes silver.

Luffy wiggles closer, leaning against for comfort her but keeping quiet. Arayya carries on.

"The scientists didn't care about the pain they caused the children, often they preformed their experiments without the use of anesthesia, and they layered scars upon scars until there was no hope of healing. Many of the other children went mad from the torture - but not the girl and the boy. They stayed together and he told her stories to distract her when the pain became too much. Grand tales of the adventures they would have when they were free. She fell in love with those stories. They became her lifeline, her escape. She dreamed of them, day and night and the thought of that freedom."

"And they did get free, didn't they?" Luffy asks, quietly now. The sun has set completely now, bathing them in darkness broken only by the sporadic lights on the deck of the ship.

"In a way, I suppose. When the girl was fourteen there was an... incident. The cells they were housed in malfunctioned and all the children got out, even the crazy ones," Arayya explained. "It was carnage. A bloodbath. You can't train people to be killers against their will and then not expect them to turn on you at the first chance they get. But the boy and the girl weren't interested in revenge, they just wanted to get out. And they tried, but there were guards to fight, the scientists, the man, the other children and both of them got injured."

"But they were okay?" Luffy asks, a sort of desperation creeping into his voice. He doesnt like this story at all.

"The boy told the girl to go, to get as far away as possible and that he would find her as soon as he made sure no one followed them. She didn't want to leave him, but he had never lied to her before and she was so scared at being put back in the cage," Arayya says, running a hand down her face. "So she ran. She ran for days, she swam, then ran some more, always with the thought in the back of her mind that he would find her. But he never did. How could he?"

Arayya shakes her head. "The girl has never forgiven herself for leaving him. The first person to ever truly care for her. To love her, just for who she was. She knows that she should have been the one to stay behind. She has lived with that for many years, along with the guilt that - if she hadn't been so insistent on not being separated from her brother at the orphanage - he would have never suffered in the first place." 

They sit in silence for a long time, Luffys hand finding hers, their fingers twining together.

"What was her brothers name? Luffy asks into the quiet.

Arayya sighs, and says a name she hasn't spoken in almost as long as the one she was given at birth.

"His name was Taran."

[bolontiku]

Tiku's Follower Celebration

Are ya’ll okay?? 

I honestly feel utterly blessed that ya’ll for some reason wanna follow me. I am not organized, start stories and can’t finish them...look at how long it took me to straighten out my Masterlist!!! AAAaaaahhh!! I love everyone of you!

That being said.... I have a mess that ya’ll can choose from under the cut!! I am gonna be reblogging this and tagging those in my perma-tags.

Prompts:

These are a few dialogue prompts I have found that I liked. Choose one and your favorite character write something. It can be a drabble, a one shot, the beginning of a series whatever your little black twisted heart desires.

1. “Well, that’s the second biggest piece of news I’ve heard all day.”

2. “He made me feel alive.”

3. “Never. Do that. Again.”

4. “Where were you last night?”

5. “I’m always scared. Always. It’s my default.”

6. “Let’s pretend we’re strangers.”

7. “I’m not gonna keep having this conversation” 

8. “Why are you like this?”

9. “Close your eyes”

10. “I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

11. "Well, that's it. You've bested me and foiled my evil plans. Argh, curses, revenge will be mine, et cetera. Now I'm going home."

12. “You’re taking me to meet your family. I have every right to be scared.”

13. “When I picture myself happy… It’s with you.”

14. "This isn't the first time I've saved your life."

15. "The horse knew all along"

16. “Why do you have to ruin my life like this?"

17. “I started introducing myself to him, and he said ‘I hope you die screaming’ and kept walking.”

18. “You ruined my death!”

19. “That’s it, you’re uninvited from my funeral.”

20.”I run on cuddles, chaos, and coffee...not in that specific order..”

Requests:

I will accept up to five requests for stories. These may range from, imagine, drabbles to possibly the beginning of series. I say five because my brain is wired completely differently than anyone I know and its so hard for me to focus before something shiny distracts me. (I am so sorry for this.) This maaaay be stretched to ten total. (still haven’t made up my mind)

Moodboards:

Tell me your fave character. If you have specifics tell me deets and I’ll be happy to work with it. 

Make a moodboard for me (OMG I WOULD TOTES LOVE YOU IF YOU DO THIS).

Art:

Make me draw something. I cannot promise it will be any good, I think my drawing is trash and it will be uploaded via phone picture cause I don’t have a scanner, so that will probably add to the crap-fest that is my drawing.

Draw something for me. Send me some of your fanart. I love seeing this stuff. 

Random WIP:

Force me to pick something in my drafts to fucking post. I have too many just sitting there and if you choose this one I will pick it to post. (Five max)

Rules:

Tag me!! @bolontiku in tags (and because of Dumblr being hater PLEASE, PLEEEEEAAAAASEEE send me a link via messages) I would hate to miss anything ya’ll work hard on! Anything goes, well except for underage shit (I will report and block you). Make sure to tag your NSFW, trigger warnings are appreciated.

Can be angst, fluff, platonic, SFW. NSFW. 

Due Date will be August 10th. I will post the week prior to remind those of you still working on things.

My Fandoms:

This is what I am more comfortable writing. Not that you have to stick to!!

Star Trek. Deadpool. X-Men. Supernatural. Dr. Who. Harley Quinn. Batman. 

Of-fucking-course Avengers. Though as much as I love Bucky, I would like to see a variety of characters. If your writing for this the story is yours, you are choosing your characters. If i am writing I won’t be making it all Bucky.

Due Date will be August 10th. I will post the week prior to remind those of you still working on things.

Thank you guys for following me. I love you so much. Feel free to message me anytime for random things. Tell me what makes you smile. Tell me that you saw a leaf bug. Tell me if your feeling lonely (i will more than likely not know what to say, but I will respond with something.) Thank you. You guys make me so happy.

Tagging: (This does not mean that you have to do it, just trying to get the word out there) Feel free to boost? ILYSM.

@shamvictoria11 @hellkat2 @the-great-irene @mo320 @magellan-88 @lostinspace33 @tamianich @incadinkadoo @aquabrie @dustycelt @yknott81 @arwa-alii @alyssaj23 @insideoflit @debbielovesbucky @swtwtrgin @saysay125 @rda1989 @xxxprettydeadgirlxxx @whenallsaidanddone @s7sense @vaisabu @the-witching-hours12-3 @anotherotter @learisa @goodnightwife @buckybarnesappreciationsociety @roselock20 @everybodycriesonce @pegasusdragontiger @suz-123 @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @50shadesofyes @iamwarrenspeace @strange-intricate-dysfunction @lloeppky @feelmyroarrrr @red-writer13 @crystalsnow0304 @badassbaker @sebstanchrisevanchickforever19 @supernatural-girl97 @honey-bee-holly @patzammit @oswolfpack @the-real-kellymonster @wildefire @abbessolute @sarahp879 @mummy-woves-you @howlingourcolors @just-a-kj-blog @loveisfriendship @domina-natasha @kandomeresbitch @lloeppky @unicorns-and-fairy-dust @tilltheendwilliwrite 

[blu-b]

Trying again to post my Ragnarok blabbering....

Let’s try and see if tumblr still thinks it has too many paragraphs. If so, I shall split it into two. Reminder that this is just me spewing out everything that bothers me because I actually have so desperately few Thor(ki) pals on tumblr that I'm basically jumping on any opportunity to actually talk to someone about it. Which is why you precious few who commented are now getting the full broadside of my entire jumbled misery. I apologize in advance. You really don't have to read all of it. I’m also not looking for a grand discussion or anything. I just need to get it out of my system.  

​I respect that there are people who liked the movie, and I don't mean to spoil it for anyone else, so what I'm going to say here is all just a very personal, subjective impression that is by no means anything else but an opinion. Also I feel kind of stupid because the film has been out for a year and...yeah well.

On we go.

upstartpoodle replied to your post “I’ve finally seen Thor: Ragnarok (yes yes, I’m late to the party, I...”

I haven't seen it since I knew from the various spoilers I've seen that it wasn't really my cup of tea, so I can't really comment about the film as a whole, but I've seen a lot of complaints from other people about inconsistent characterisation, too many jokes, dropping the ball on plot points established in the previous films, etc. There's an increasingly long post that keeps cropping up on my dash about it. 

calicoskatts replied to your post

I enjoyed it but for me it was jsut another entertaining movie from Marvel but nothing particularly interesting. I thought I was watching Guardians of the Asgardians personally. I’ve been put off from Marvel over the last bit tbh, so maybe that’s why? Like I said, I enjoyed it but I wasn’t wowed or anything.

nelioe replied to your post

*raises hand* I agree, I too thought the movie was awful

miusmius replied to your post

I honestly loved it!

hiko73 replied to your post

What? The movie was amazing from beginning to end, imho....I feel at a loss why you hated it so much.

So, before I say anything, I need to explain that I basically knew the film's plot from gifs and Youtube clips before I watched the DVD, although I didn't know all of it. I already thought some of the scenes sucked big time from the snippets I had seen (Get help, the obedience disk), but actually there were a few that I thought were bad and that turned out rather good in the movie. I’ll come to those in a minute.

So, I think seeing the movie in its entirety for the first time was what did me in. Really, my brain hurt after the end credits rolled off the screen, and I felt like brainwashed. I mean, I knew it was different, and loud, and colourful, and that’s not what I’m having a problem with. It’s rather…a conglomerate of things that just rub me the wrong way.

I’m not mentioning the inconsistent characterisation and the many loose threads that never get cleared up sufficiently (an entire fandom has been waiting for an explanation of how Loki survived Svartalfheim! I had expected it to be a major plot point early in Ragnarok, but it wasn’t even mentioned apart from ‘I thought you were dead’. Well yes, thanks Thor, me too. I’d like to know how he managed not to be dead!).

I’ll also not mention obvious plotholes because well, it’s Marvel we’re talking about, so things like that are expected, and I’ll neither mention obvious flaws on the technical side (too many rapid cuts, weird camera angles or frames) because artistic liberty and all. What does get on my nerves is how almost any serious scene is broken up by something ‘funny’. No two characters can have a quiet talk for two seconds before some joke is cracked that does or does not fit the situation. It’s…tiresome. Especially since most of the jokes aren’t really funny.

​Here's a thing: a have a weird humour, I Hate comedy with a capital H, and I despise nothing more than random comedic slapstick elements in an otherwise serious film. Why for heaven's sake can no one make a serious movie anymore? Argh. This film is literally titled "The end of the world" and yet there's a joke at every corner, and no it isn't a black-humoured jab at fate, it's the kind of knee-slapper that's only funny for half the time it takes, and not again afterwards. It makes me angry. Comedy has to be precise and on-point to work. There's a lot of well-placed comedy in the previous Thors and the Avengers; comedic elements that are funny even when you watch the scene a second and a third time. Now, Taika Waititi takes comedy to an entirely new level that isn't necessarily one I like. I also need to say that although I don't know him personally, he comes across as a very taxing person, taxing in a sense that his constant good spirits and giddiness and sort of bouncy energy would definitely wear out my social batteries if I had to be around him all the time. It wore out Tom Hiddleston's, as we can see in several behind the scenes footages where Taika takes to fooling around in front of the camera while poor Tom would just like to get on with his work.

​Anyway, back to the movie. Of the major things that rub me wrong is that it does have a very problematic attitude towards violence.

​It is rated for a viewing age 12 and up in my country, but I sure as hell would not let my children watch it. There are scenes that come down to nothing but random violence for…well, not even the sake of anything. Hela just skewering Fandral and Volstagg like that? What for? If it’s meant to establish an emotional connection and show just how dangerous Hela is, it fails spectacularly, because it is not given enough time, or enough emotional room. It’s just ZAP and they’re dead; if you don’t look closely you don’t even realise it’s them because they've never had a moment to being reintroduced. Half of the audience has probably already forgotten who they were.The scene with Hogun is gruesome as is the slaughtering of an entire army, and it does nothing whatsoever in terms of significance. Later on, we see many other characters just resorting to brainless mass shootings and seemingly enjoying the heck out of it. Valkyrie, Skurge, you name them. There's a very problematic message in having a character stumble off an enormous spaceship, having them fall off the gangway drunk because it looks cool, and then proceed to mow down a bunch of innocent and mostly unarmed scrappers on a trash planet.

​Now, I don’t have a problem with violence in general. I just don’t like the way it is presented here.

There were a few scenes that were actually good. 

Thor and Dr. Strange for example, even though the plot could easily have done without that sideline, and Benedict Cumberbatch is also only pouring 50% of his effort into his performance - still, it’s solid, classy acting. ​

​The scenes between Thor and Loki on Midgard in the very beginning stand out because both Hemsworth and Hiddleston are given enough time to actually act out their characters' emotions without being interrupted by a joke. I really liked the dynamics here and I wish the film would have picked up on that course.

Some of Hela’s scenes where a little background on her character is revealed were good as well, but overall I thought Cate Blanchett was alternating between gross overacting and doing minimal duty as per contract. It would have been nice to have her on screen some more, and learn a bit more about her past and her motivation. Revenge for being imprisoned by Odin? Sounds familiar. Hela, darling, how about a little talk about that with Loki over tea and biscuits? I'm sure the two of you could have shared some experience. (Also major kudos to Loki for NOT tearing into Odin like "Aha, so throwing your kids into a cell seems to be your standard educational measure, dad.")

​Anthony Hopkins was awful. He has never been good in any of the previous films, one of my main reasons for my major dislike of Odin, and I don't know if he's getting senile or what, he just was really really bad in this one. It only adds to the awful characterisation of Odin altogether. The last straw was his dealing with the Hela situation: "There's this threat that is coming for Asgard, born of one of my own mistakes, there's nothing you can do about it and I don't give a shit so bye and good luck, I guess." Good thing he disappeared, or I would personally have crawled into the TV and shoved the old man off the cliff.

​So, what little else I liked was actually any scenes with Heimdall - I wasn’t a big fan of Heimdall, ever, but he seriously kicks ass here, not only because of superb acting on Idris Elba's part but also because his scenes aren’t interrupted by hectic cuts or off the mark jokes.

​Surprisingly, Skurge’s story arc was interesting as well. Now, I don’t like Karl Urban - you've probably figured out by now that there isn't an awful lot of people that I like. Basically I think his character is rather unnecessary - why not use one of the established characters? Why not let Fandral or Hogun be torn between right and wrong? Anyway, Karl does play him well and I see why a character like that would be in there (his death though? More random, unnecessary violence).

​Bruce Banner / The Hulk really went on my nerves the entire time. The fight between he and Thor is well choreographed, but the entire sequence is too long *yawns* Some of the stuff with Thor in Hulk’s room is actually funny, but that was that. 

​And then Loki. Please prepare yourself for a rant of epic proportions.

Now, I do admit I'm biased because I love Loki; I've loved him in Norse mythology ever since I was a child. I went to study Old Norse for a bit mainly because of the Edda and Loki, and I love what Hiddleston has done with the character in these films. I also get that this is Thor: Ragnarok and not Loki: Ragnarok and that he is a supporting character just like all the others.

​That said, in the few scenes that he actually has - you don't really need Loki for what he does. Any random side character could have stolen the ship's codes, or placed Surtur's crown in the flame. That last bit was a bow to the original myth (and the comics, I suppose) where it's really Loki who releases Surtur and causes Ragnarök (which is why I -love- the 'saviour' scene because it's a reference to Loki arriving at the scene of the final battle at the helm of the ship of the dead, called Naglfar, in Norse myth). But - in the film, all in all, you don't really need Loki for all that. Valkyrie could have done it, or Heimdall, or Skurge for that matter (what a heroic plot that would have made for him!).

​And there's more to it than just lamentably little of Loki in this film. The entire film, to me, seems like a deliberate attempt to ban Loki to the background, give him as little screentime as possible, and make him look ridiculous altogether. Not only is his character basically replaceable in what he does, no - 

(I've seen quite a lot of the BTS stuff in advance, so this plays into it as well.)

Let's start with the small things:

- There's hardly any close-ups of Loki in the entire film, Norway being the one great exception (consequently, he rocks the scene).You can always see him do something in the background, but the camera is never close enough to pick up clearly on any emotions or anything. Best example is the sofa scene at the Grandmasters'. If that was shown correctly, you would be able to read the entire course of the fight from Loki's face - there's glee, there's worry, there's schadenfreude, there's hope and admiration and anger and frustration and everything you can possibly imagine he goes through, but we are shown only mushed images of it. The entire dragging long battle between Hulk and Thor would have been way more interesting if more of Loki's facial expressions had been cut into it.

- Basically all he's good for is delivering cues for Thor and being there as a projection screen for Thor's heroism.

- The camera always seems slightly out of focus; Loki is there but he's not, somewhere at the back or to the side. Even when he's meant to be in the picture, the camera frame is just this little bit out of focus or he's being filmed at a weird angle.

- Weird angles. It's a signature thing for Loki in this film. He's being filmed from behind, above, below - now don't get me wrong, it's a very interesting artistic device - and the scene where he appears before the grandmaster, filmed through the transparent floor is a masterpiece in terms of camera angle - but when it's 80% of these frames and the rest is 15% hovering in the background and 5% good, clear close-ups, it conveys a message about the filmmaker's attitude towards this character - and in Loki's case, this message is not doing him any favours. 

​- More weird stuff: time frames. As I said above, you only ever see Loki doing unimportant stuff. Sitting around talking to the Grandmaster's cronies, getting "captured" on purpose, trying to get through to Thor. We don't see him doing any kind of stiff like Thor does, nothing "heroic", we don't even see him do any significant amount of magic. The only heroic moment he has, at the very end, is again botched by off-kilter dialogue ("I'm not doing get help" just sounds soooo out of place at this moment) and weird framing. Like, Thor gets all these super-cool, physical fighting scenes, full-on frontal, kicking and punching the shit out of everyone. Again, I get that this is Thor: Ragnarok, and we also have the Hulk and Valkyrie who need their hero moments. But we do know that Loki is just as good a fighter as everyone else, he fights differently, but he's very capable of defending himself and others, as seen in Dark World. In Ragnarok, he's right there in the middle of the fight, but you never see him do anything. You see him close in on someone, cut, then you see him pull out a knife of a body or juggle his helmet or whatever, but never any real action that proves how capable he is as a fighter, not like Thor gets them all the time. You see him jump, and roll, and fall on his ass, or doing a pirouette and tossing his hair back afterwards. The focus is not on him doing his share of defending Asgard, but on how he's a weak and pathetic fighter (this post explains it with great visuals). The thing is, somewhat heroic  moments  have been filmed, but have been left out in favour of more ‘funny’ sequences.

- Talking about ridiculousness: There's a total of seven scenes where Loki falls on his ass, his face, or is somehow on the ground for some reason when it's totally not necessary. In comparison, in Dark World and Avengers, he was only ever on the ground when either defeated, or due to battle  action, not just for shit and giggles.

The one at Dr Strange actually makes me wince from the sheer impact with which he hits the floor, bouncing back two feet high in the air (can’t find the gif right now, but he does), and everyone in the cinema laughs. Actually laughs, like this is some funny one-liner. Someone's dropping from the sky and hitting the floor real hard and y'all laugh? Like no, this ain't funny at all, not to me.

​- What are these scenes actually good for? Why did the previous films set him up as a master magician who - as even Dr Strange says - is a force to be reckoned with, when everyone can just shove him to the ground like that? Why is nearly everyone suddenly more powerful than him?

- Shitty lines/shitty scenes: 'Safe passage through the anus'. Boy, it makes me cringe for poor Tom who actually had to say this shit out loud, or play stuff like the (thankfully deleted) portaloo sequence. Like, wow. I mean, I know I have a different type of humour from nearly everybody else, but this shit is just so not funny, and I really hate Taika Waititi for even including such lines and scenes in the script. I mean, I get that he favours Thor over Loki, but was that really necessary? It's so cringeworthy it makes my teeth hurt.

- (On a minor sidenote, can we talk about how it also speaks volumes that Hiddleston was given a costume that he can barely move in and that makes him visibly uncomfortable, yet no one gives a shit?)

To sum it up, I don't like how Ragnarok treats the character of Loki and ignores all of his potential in favour of cheap jokes. It says a lot if a script needs to make fun of one character in order to let its main character appear in a better light. Taika talks about how Thor's and Loki's relationship is at the focus of the film and how they finally get to resolve their problems. I'm sorry, but I don't see any of that. I don't see any brotherly moments or reconciliation or at least an attempt to make things right. And that brings me to the one character that I have the biggest problem with: Thor.

​Now, the general consensus was that Thor grows, he learns, he takes up responsibility, he has this great character development that makes him into a better man. I don't see that. What I see is a man who uses and abuses everyone in his path to achieve his own ends. He thinks he can command Valkyrie by repeatedly reminding her of her oath to the throne (the throne being a very prominent motivation for Thor, as we shall see) even when she's made clear that she gives a shit. When that doesn't work, he keeps trying to guilt-trip her, and when that doesn't work either, he fakes concern to get her attention, and once he has it, he cruelly pushes all the buttons that he knows will make her yield (basically telling her: you can either forget everything and rot on this planet, or you can do something about it and help me).

​He manipulates Banner in the same way because he needs the Hulk for his Asgard mission. I mean, telling Bruce he prefers him over Hulk, and telling Hulk he prefers him over Bruce - I get that it's meant to be funny, but when you think about it, it isn't. It's manipulative as heck and it's exactly the kind of shit he always accused Loki of: lying to get his way.

And when it comes to Thor's interactions with Loki,  he has not learned a single thing. He still treats Loki the way he always did: a scapegoat at worst, a convenience at best. In Norway, after Odin departs, Thor doesn’t hesitate to immediately accuse Loki of both Odin’s death and bringing about Hela as a consequence - as if Loki had any inkling that this was gonna happen. He wouldn’t be so stupid as to bring destruction to Asgard on purpose, remember it’s the only home he ever truly knew, so even if he did let things slip while posing as Odin, he surely never meant for Hela and Ragnarok to happen. He was just as surprised about the Hela revelation that Thor was, and as for Odin’s death - I doubt that this was intended. Especially since we still don’t know xactly how Loki got rid of Odin, but if he’d wanted to kill him, he could certainly have done so while Odin was weak and defenseless, but he didn’t - he just wanted him out of the way, not dead. Yet Thor completely assumes Loki is to blame for all of it, and as a consequence he falls back into his abusive treatment of his brother.

Yes, all I see is an abusive sibling who purposefully manipulates his mentally unstable younger brother. He knows what Loki has been through in the past; moreover, he has heard from Odin himself just how everyone in this family was played and lied to. He has seen what that did to Loki in the past. Thor knows exactly what's at the core of his brother's mind: the ambition to gain his family's approval, a fear of being abandoned, a deep-rooted sense of worthlessness and the ever-prominent desire to impress his older brother. Of course Loki sucks at saying all this out loud, and Thor probably doesn't know the full extent of the damage, but after the events of Avengers and Dark World he must at least have an inkling of what's going on inside that mind. 

​And yet he goes ahead and uses all of Loki's greatest fears against him:

"Our paths diverged a long time ago" - no they didn't, he just never let Loki catch up to him.

"It's what you always wanted" (never seeing each other again) - have you even paid attention to your brother, you big fool?

"But you, you stay the same", "you could be so much more" etc. - and being what, exactly? Thor's thrall, tagging along behind him, helping out when shit hits the fan, and otherwise keeping his mouth shut? To Thor, Loki is only acceptable when he behaves like Thor wants him to. He fails to see that it's Loki who's forced to change more than anyone else. He was forced to change almost first thing after being born, from a Jötun baby to an Aesir one just to please his new father. He's constantly forced to change to adapt to everyone's expectations: Odin's, Frigga's, Thor's own. And when he refuses to play along, he's the one at fault.

​There are two scenes in Ragnarok in particular that I find hard to watch in respect of Thor's abusive qualities. First, the elevator scene /Get Help.

​Loki tells Thor no three times, he even gives him a reason why he doesn't want to do Get Help (which, considering Loki and his difficulties to express emotion, to Thor no less, is a big deal). I don’t know about y’all, but if my sibling told me they found something humiliating, which is several steps up the uncomfortable scale from "I just don't like it", I would never force them into it. Thor has to respect his brother's feelings and stop right there. A no is a no, even from Loki, even in this situation, especially considering how the entire move is nonsense after all - but Thor doesn't stop. He disrespects his brother's wishes, he ignores Loki's feelings, and what's worse, he even belittles him for it and laughs it off: No, for me it's not.

​Yes, well, Thor baby, guess what? It's not always about you.

Even worse is the taser/obedience disk scene. It makes me physically cringe. And I will happily fist-punch everyone who tries to tell me it's just "a joke" or "friendly sibling barter" or wasn't "meant to hurt Loki" or that Thor "didn't know". I'm sorry, but nope.

​Thor knows exactly what the obedience disc does, how it hurts. He has absolutely NO reason to use it on Loki. Loki has been playing along to his plans, he has even tried to offer Thor an explanation and a possible way out, but at that time Thor decided to throw a tantrum and sulk. Did he really think Loki would go through with that half-arsed attempt of collecting the 'reward' for Thor's capture from the Grandmaster, when just some hours before Loki has told Thor that he Grandmaster is a lunatic and that he basically wants to leave Sakaar just as bad as Thor does? Did Thor even listen??? Not to mention that there never was a 'reward' promised by the Grandmaster; instead a threat of public execution looms over Loki if he fails, so the reward he speaks of is possibly, once again, getting away with his life (while using the time this buys him to come up with a means of escape).

​There was no reason at all to place the taser disc on Loki and leave him there - besides, Thor must have planned to use the disk even before he could be sure Loki was going to betray him, so it was Thor's plan all along to leave his brother there for whatever sick reason. How could he be so sure Loki would find a way to free himself? How could he be sure the rebels would be the ones to find Loki, and not the Grandmaster, or Topaz, or any of the hundreds of guards that swarm the place? Not to mention that time passes differently on Sakaar, so who knows how long Loki lay there writhing in agony. Thor walking off telling him "Good luck, I guess" while his brother is in obvious physical pain, and at the mercy of a crazy dictator, is the ultimate cruelty. But the throne is always more important, eh?

​How could Thor be sure Loki would follow him to Asgard and come to his aid? Seriously, Loki could just have taken that ship and flown to the other end of the universe for all he cared. He's the only Asgardian on a ship full of refugees, he has no reason at all to help Thor, not after the taser disc and the general way Thor treated him, and YET he comes after his big brother because he desperately seeks Thor's approval, and Thor knew that and manipulated his brother into exactly this behaviour back there in the elevator.

​And does Loki get a thank you? Not even! All he gets is a flippant "You're late" (everyone who tells me that's 'friendly sibling banter' again must have a truly fucked up relationship with their sibling), and then he's being ordered off to the vault to basically perform an act that could cost his life, without Thor even wasting a second thought to it. Well, we've already seen in Dark World how little Thor cares for Loki, as he just leaves his dead little brother behind to rot on a foreign planet. Doesn't even send anyone to come and collect the body or something. Doesn't even seem to care in Ragnarok whether Loki has made it out of Asgard alive or not (does he check frantically if his brother is aboard as they float off into space? No...but hey look, there's a throne, and people call him majesty, so all is grand).

​Not even the "I'm here" scene does anything for their relationship. How often does Loki have to prove that he will sacrifice himself for Thor, and how often does he get nothing in return but accusations ("You faked your death!", "You killed our father!"), dubious compliments ("Maybe there's some good left in you") or at the most Thor throwing him a bone of approval: "Maybe you're not so bad after all" instead of "Thanks for saving our arses".

​So, is this 'growing'? Is this 'mature'? Has Thor learned one single thing that makes him a better character? I don't think so. He takes up right where his father left, caring only for his throne, and manipulating his brother just the way Odin has always done. Yes, he became a little less uptight, and yes there's the new Thor who's sassy, nonchalant, doesn't give a fuck, doesn't let himself be played by his brother's schemes. I love the way Chris Hemsworth is playing this new Thor as opposed to the previous films. It's fun to watch him finally fill this role with a bit of spice. I really really like this new Thor. The problem is, I like how the new Thor is, but not what he does.

​All in all, I think what happened was that Taika and Chris Hemsworth decided it was time to put the focus on Thor and make his character the center of the plot - which is fine, with it being Thor: Ragnarok and all, but why does it have to be at the expense of another great character that could have been used in so many other, different, better ways for the plot? I think they tried deliberately to shift a bit of Loki's coolness and cunning to Thor who, let's face it, has been a rather one-dimensional character in the previous films.

​What I'm going to say now is unpopular, and probably mean, but it's the vibe I'm getting from day one since I started watching any Thor movies and BTS and interviews: All of this ties in nicely with Chris Hemsworth coming across as borderline jealous of Hiddleston and the success he gained for his portrayal of the Loki character, who was never supposed to steal Thor's spotlight. It's a shame Taika Waititi rolled with it in Ragnarok and actively added to this fiasco by way of bad filmmaking.

​On a final personal note: Just yesterday before watching the film I wrote a little scene post-Ragnarok where Thor finally gets to understand everything that bothers Loki, and finds a way to comfort his brother in a very gentle, caring way, because that was what I understood Thor had finally learned: true compassion, the ability to understand, the motivation to go and make up for every time he was a shitty sibling in the past. I can't see that now, not anymore after watching this film, not after what Thor has been made into and how he treats Loki :(

I'm sorry this got so long. I'll disappear for a while now and see if I can manage to un-watch this movie. Thanks for reading/listening.

[raptorreels]

Wyatt Earp's Revenge (2012)

There are approximately seven billion movies about Wyatt Earp and, like true cowboy trash, I am on a quest to watch them all.

[cw from the future: there’s a rape and lots of racism]

Okay if nothing else, the shot composition in this is already getting me off.

So the opening is just the most blatant kick-the-dog moment, but it's well acted enough on both sides that you don't really mind.

All the way from Kansas!

You are not Wyatt, you're Doc Holiday. (Stay here for every predictable square on your movie reference bingo)

So the actress dies in this one. What nuance. What vision. [visual aide: I am currently flipping off the screen with both hands while writing, angry ~and~ talented]

this has got a delightful dime  novel quality about it. It has no interest in being original, only reshooting a well loved story. Not even the Wyatt story in specific, but just the revenge cowboy story in general.

There’s a line about how “the war made us”, and for just a second I thought we were going to get a dive into how fighting a bloody civil war effects the people who fought it. And that it really had to effect law and order afterwards, not to mention personal morality. And then I remembered what movie we were in.  

Fucking CSI Tombstone XD okay that just feels silly.

“protect those who couldn't protect themselves; women, children”   fuuuuuuuuck oooooooooooooff

they are leaning heavily on Detective Wyatt Earp, and it is one part hilarious but two parts this weird meta genuis. Like it's the joining of two different dime traditions (cowboy and the modern crime serials) across generations. A marriage of predictably delightful schlock that is amusing but also engaging.

Well you are a cute man bat masterson

Request De-nied. A great place to find somebody in contempt.

That judge can not act

They turned in their badges, shit gonna get real!!! God I love dime store cowboy crap. It's like bed-sharing fic, every time i'm gaaaaaaaaaaaasp AW SHIT WHAT NOW??? Like the fuck you don't know, my dumb ass grabbing the popcorn going ~tell me more~

HIGH NOON TOMORROW! DRINK!

“no authority, no badges, just three men”  pounds table this. is. Some. Good. Shit. Some. Real. Good. Shit. Right. Here.

what and the cute boy posse, damn. They can come for me any day.

Guns R Dangerous PSA in a WYATT EARP MOVIE  stares at camera

If one more person says “christian duty” I stg

“any fine christian man would” sick rural table burn tho

okay any damn rural family has the god given sense not to ask a man where he's been or where he's going. That is a good way to start a fight.

Woman makes someone want to be a “regular man”, drink.

She's so cute.

“I'll be tough, just like you.” I want to marry her.

“Thou shall not kill, Wyatt.” HAHAHAHA

This woman gives such great You Gotta Be Fucking Me, face. 

Oh great. Rape. At least the scene was not explicit and quick. The fucking troubling thing is nobody in the family fucking knows about it.

I do love a complicated villain, and this guy is it.

Okay so her family DID know, they're playing it close to get him the fuck out of their house. Why they didn't fucking shoot him in his sleep I do not fucking know, step the fuck up man.

Blatantly obvious plot point is blatantly obvious.

Oh joy. Mexican stereotyping. One day I will grow up to write dime western stories so we can enjoy them without all of this misogynist, racist bullshit. This is not essential to the goddamn genre and fuck anyone that says differently. Period accurate my left nut.

“I don't want any trouble.” DRINK! Drink twice if you heard it in hal lublin's voice.

“My father will hear about this” LOL

Why in god's name wouldn't you shoot them and take their guns??? Villain fail.

Narrator Wyatt Earp aka we only have val kilmer for two days.

It's bbDoc Holiday! For once as an actual doctor. Period medicine is horrifying and period. And actually reminds you part of the reason Doc gets himself fucked up so thoroughly.

“My name is Marshall Wyatt Earp” That was prescient of your parents.

Gay.

“Ever in Dodge City, look us up.” No matter the adaption, the homo is strong.

That was more a I have a mild cold than I have TB cough

And we find out this is a Tombstone prequel, which makes sense. Fun way to go about the story.

“Spike got a mind of his own” I mean most folks do.

That fight scene....coulda been cut better.

“what have you ever done” in which I want to reach through the screen and smack the piss off of the script-writer's face

“all you generation sit and talk about what's right, talk about law, taking the law for granted. The law is in action.” aight we have two things here:

One) Fuck. Off. You don't have to shoot a man to make morality determinations. Which is the literal implication here, I am giving this shitshow no leeway philosophy wise

Two) Okay but to be a philosophy student, the idea of law residing only in action is fascinating. We frequently get the distinction that justice is a thing of action, while the law is a thing of static inaction. But there could be a whole interesting line marinading on the nature of law and its enforcement, in that law is only what is enforced. when will someone pay me to stare at my navel? 

Hi Trace! Was wondering when you'd show up.

Sooo the man sings better than he acts. music   break while we thank someone for making Adkins' scenes small and endurable.

That man rides with the grace of a potato

gunfights are not your strong suit movie. Please stop them.

How many times you gonna shoot that boy? He's starting to be a Russian in a Richie movie.

Well there's a character 180 for no reason.

That was the worst “argh” ever.

Oh god the fist fights are even worse

“you take someone's life, you give up a part of yours.”

rando gun man is rando

“I been shot worse than this and was patched up by a field surgeon so drunk he coudln't say his old name” Doc! <3

Tombstone, drink.

He gives this whole speech about not thinking he killed the guy outta revenge when...that is...explicity what he did.

Guard your innocence? FFS I'm gonna eyeroll so hard I'll lose my vision. You just stopped yelling at the man for not having any fucking experience. 

Well that was alright. The monologues broke up a perfectly decent dime story. Given the production date they have no excuse for not updating the formula to be less fucking misogynistic and racist.

Bonus Content:

Cute horse boy.