#are you sure we're talking about the same person?

[maxisodenoth]

Oops, forgot to block.

But anyways, it seems like you don't understand.

Let me put it like this for you.

You have been provided links with proof [that I'm sure you didn't even touch.] And instead of bringing up any point related to them you stick to your same arguments.

I asked you a simple yes or no question, and you seem to have taken it personally. It doesn't matter to me what you think the answer is, because the answer is always no. An infertile woman is just as much of a woman as any other. We are what we want to be. Your words mean nothing to me, and other peoples identity. [which let me remind you *again* that you've been provided links in the comments which explain this stuff better than I ever could]

[And let me tell you something. Just because we can't have kids right now doesn't mean it'll remain that way in the future. I believe that something will be figured out later in the future that will allow trans-people to be able to reproduce with their new reproductive apparatuses. Whether that takes years or decades doesn't matter. It'll happen.]

You used word meanings as "arguments". May I remind you that, words were created far before any research was done on this matter? [Not exaclty sure when or how much words change but I'm almost sure it's a pretty slow process, so they might be a bit or alot outdated. Not sure though.] And that maybe instead of etymology, you should be looking at psychology, and biology? [Links in the comments~] Trying to use words meanings as arguments doesn't really work out that well when we're not talking about words but people.

[And by the way. Where is your evidence? You've been provided links explaining this stuff, yet when pressed, you only choose to go to ... a dictionary? Really?]

[Also, since you've stooped into insults let me get in on that action.]

Why do you care so much? Like really. Why does this matter that much to you? Are you that miserable that the only joy you get is by hating on other people being themselves and happy?

Look, I know it's hard to find a purpose in life, or a job, but it'd be alot easier if you stopped being a prick and just let people be themselves. There's no reason to hate people who literally don't affect you in any shape or form. They're just being themselves. Cope. [Your final reminder that there are links in the comments!~]

Or do you just refuse to grow up and understand that it doesn't matter what you say. People will be themselves and happier than you will ever be?

I am not a debator. I'm just some angry penguin on the internet. I have left my piece here. And I won't forget to block this time. May this be the last time I see your miserable blog on my feed.

And for everyone else who comes across this post, trans or otherwise. Your identity is Valid. You know yourselves better than some stranger on the internet. Or anyone who's not you. Because it's Your Identity. Not these peoples.

Do not let the hateful words of bigots make you feel bad about youself. You are the only one who can choose your identity. Not some idiots on the internet. You. And let me say this again Your identity is always valid. No matter what others say. ❤️

Goodbye. 👋

[Even if you reply to this, I'm not wasting anymore of my time on you John. You've been given links, read them. The same goes for any asshole who wants to start another argument. I do not care for you. Find someone else to deal with your bullshit.]

Facts matter. #VoteBlue

[5targh0st]

NUMBER ONE GIRL

58. called it (written)

prev // m.list // next

"So," Ryujin takes the seat in front of Hyunjin, "what did you want to talk about?"

"I can't do this to you." He looks distressed.

"What?"

"I don't wanna sound like a narcissistic asshole but I think you like like me and I feel like I'm leading you on."

Now it makes sense. All of Hyunjin's mixed signals and awkward advances followed by radio silence. Of course, Ryujin has to admit he's right. She likes him a lot.

"Why?"

"Cause I have someone else in my mind right now. I like you, I really do; you're amazing and literally everything I've ever asked for, but-"

"You have feelings for Yn." She interrupts softly. She's not blind. She's noticed the way he looks at her now friend.

Hyunjin's voice is barely above a whisper. "Why would you say that?"

"Cause I've been there." She's honest. "Look, I've known Yeonjun for basically my whole life and there was a time when I thought I was in love with him. Maybe I was, I don't know."

How cliche can that be? Hyunjin, however, is fairly surprised by her words.

"You confessed?"

"Absolutely not. I realized I wanted to keep him in my life forever and relationships are complicated. I love him, he's my favorite person ever. But it's a different type of love." She's so sincere and wise, that's why he likes her, but he doesn't know if he can love her.

"What do you mean?"

"I want him to be happy. I don't wanna be with him romantically, but I do wanna be beside him every step of the way. I'm not sure if my feelings where ever romantic but right now they're not. Now I understand there are very different types of love. He found someone and one day I'll do the same but we'll always be together cause we're more than family."

It makes sense. He wants to see Yn happy. His love for her is not the selfish kind. He even likes Yeonjun, he's perfect for her. Different types of love, he knows it in theory, but he never stopped to think about it before.

"You thinks that what I feel for YN?" He just wants someone to give him the answers.

Ryunjin reaches for his hand and smiles at him. "I think you're a good guy and that you love her deeply, but you're the only one who can be sure of what kind of love that is."

"How?"

"Just feel." She says.

"Thank you." He caresses her knuckles.

"For what?"

"Listening and being understanding. For being you."

She laughs and he loves that sound. Love. He doesn't know how or why, but the sudden urge of farting his shit together invades him.

"Let's just have fun together. Today the world doesn't exist. You can worry about everyone else tomorrow."

notes:

we love love 😫

beomgyu was definitely screaming when he saw the TS reference

ryujin deserves everything in this world

taglist: open! (17/50)

@estella-novella @poetryforthesad @lisaswifey @angelzforu @ihrtlix @gloriousqueenking @domfikeluva @circus-of-thoughts @conwunder @miniature-tragedy @jeonginplsholdmyhand @sh0dor1 @yourenzoo @tkshairband @realrintaro @castingjinx @amara-mars @hwangrfrnd @nujeskz @jisungs-iced-americano @zeizeisjy @va1entinaa @beomgyusluver @to-toad @akindaflora @hoefororeo @mandydxndy @nyanamii @delulu4-life @thatonexcgirl @starsunoo @4lndr17 @nbjch05

[genderqueerdykes]

I was talking to my gf's roommate abt the history of girlfag and started off with "there are so many terms for lesbians lol- lesboy, boydyke, fagdyke, guydyke, those are all mainly for lesbians" as she went "men have enough" 😐 at the end, when I'm saying how it has never been a term used by 100% cis people, but rather genderqueer and non transitioning (a lot believing they're too old or hrt wouldn't work enough) transmascs she says something about how we don't need a term for everything (even tho I know she uses it for herself) n I just. Hnnnn

thanks for taking the time to stop by, i appreciate it! i enjoy your blog as well so it was cool to see you pop up in my askbox :D

"men have enough" ??? what the hell. that is such a selfish, entitled way of looking at this. does this person seriously think that a man using the same label as a woman is taking something away from them. are men who have traditionally "feminine/womens'" hobbies and interests taking things away from women? are men who also identify as human taking things away from women? are men breathing taking away oxygen from women?

she says something about how we don't need a term for everything

ah, the ole shifting the goalposts. i know it well. people who think this way get backed into corners easily and have to figure out a way to make themselves sound right without actually having anything else to add, so they default to some tired old frustrated crap like this. oh if we don't need a term for everything then, you'd be okay if the "lesbian" label went away? you'd be okay with people deciding "yeah we don't need a label for this anymore" and saying that people need to stop calling themselves lesbians because we "don't need a label for everything?"

it's very clear all of that was about shutting you up and absolutely none of it was about queer rights, feminism or being progressive. that's so sad. people see diversity and get SO scared. people see diversity in their own community and jump to saying it's a "threat". like sure by all means, if you think we don't need to have labels for "everything," feel free to stop calling yourself a lesbian at any point! it sounds pretty superfluous by your logic! you know, "Stone Butch" and "High Femme" seem pretty superfluous too, better get rid of those while we're at it, since we don't need a term for "everything," and we might as well throw "femme" and "butch" by themselves right in the trash too! we "don't need a term for everything" after all! (all of this is referring to them, not you)

anyways, take care, i'm sorry you had to deal with this. people love to just shift the goalposts whenever it suits them. it's really obvious once you start spotting the behavior. if you need any help or anything else feel free to reach out! stay safe out there. queer men deserve better than this. fagdykes, lesboys, boydykes, guydykes, transmasc, ftm and trans man lesbians deserve so much better than this.

[camillomea]

Trouma bond

Jason had stayed in his room after Bruce had calmed him down. He hadn't moved. He was sitting in the corner. He had calmed down but he needed some alone time. He knew that everyone was on duty, after all, the Joker was outside. Jason was still standing here when he should have gone to kill him. He was drowning in his own thoughts when the door opened. At first, he thought it was Alfr2d, but the person standing there was none other than Tim. Jason asked, "Has the clown been caught yet?" Tim mumbled, "No." He left the tray on the nightstand. Jason looked at him questioningly. Tim mumbled, "You're not the only one with clown trauma." He sat down on the floor next to him. He gave him one of the hot chocolates. He took a spare earbud from his pocket and put it on his ears. Jason was startled by the sudden voice, but as he expected, it wasn't the bats' line. Someone was humming a song quietly. Jason blinked. Tim leaned on Jason and started drinking his hot chocolate. “There’s a line that the YJ members and a few others around us set up after most of the team got lost. We can always hear each other when we can’t mute the line. It’s a bit like a trauma support line. The voices keep their thoughts away from their trauma. They can’t hear us right now, but they’re aware of the situation,” he said. Jason stayed quiet and wrapped the blanket around himself and him. He had one arm around Tim. The humming sound continued to come from the earpiece. After a while the humming stopped. The same person said. “Hey kids, do you have a reminder of that cookie recipe we told you about a few months ago? Or do you have the recipe?” Another voice said. “Bart, you can’t come in the kitchen.” Bart said. “Oh, come on Cassie, I’m not that bad anymore. I learned.” There was a beep then another voice said. “Are you sure you’re not going to burn the kitchen down?” Bart said. “I haven’t burned down a kitchen in a long time. Besides, I’m not in the kitchen at the shelter so I won’t burn down our kitchen.” Another voice was heard on the line. "So what, if it's not our kitchen, does that mean it doesn't matter if you burn it or not?" Bart asked. "Of course not Raven, but wouldn't it be better to burn another kitchen than ours?" A voice grumbled. But there was a smirk mixed in with the grumble. "He's right, kids," the voice said. A more mature voice said, "You can burn whatever you want as long as you burn mine, Bart." Bart said, "Oh, don't worry, Uncle Cisco. You're our cool uncle. If you get mad at us and decide not to let us do what you let us do, the others will kill me for it." A few laughter was heard on the line. Jason and Tim spent the next few hours listening to the line, two of them had their microphones turned off, but they could hear the others. The noise hadn't stopped all night. It seemed like everyone had decided to stay awake and keep the line alive. Bart had collected the cookies properly, but he had to remind them of the order of the cuts many times over. Jason had never heard this recipe before, but hearing it over and over again had burned it into his brain. Still, the noise was very irritating. He made him feel safe and good. It was like everyone had seriously given up on sleeping to support them. Even though Tin's eyes were closed, it was obvious that he was awake. The sun was just rising when he opened the door. Bruce was looking around worriedly and relieved with what he saw. "Hey Jay Timmy," he said. Tim opened his eyes. "Is it over?" he said silently. Bruce said, "Yeah son, it's over. He's in Arkham. Are you two okay?" Tim mumbled a silent agreement as he snuggled closer to his brother. Jason didn't mind, he ruffled his hair and said, "We're okay. I didn't know about the kid's trauma though." Bruce winced. "He doesn't like to talk about it," he said. Tim said, "I'm here. I can hear you." Jason laughed. "Yeah yeah, we know," he said. Bruce crouched down next to the two of them. "Can I join you?" Tim shrugged. Jason nodded.

note : inspired by Jason's joker trauma scene that I saw in the wayne family adventures, that's all for now but there will probably be a sequel

[postsforposting]

that's an incredibly negative view. i don't think people should default to steelman; i do think taking a positive view, especially of toneless plain text, should be the default. it makes for a pleasant atmosphere. unfortunately people, especially online, seem to think the meanest view of those around them is.....a good thing? how it should be??? that there's no other way to do things???

we really can just. not. do that. believing other people mean well is....a pretty basic requirement not only for civility but also for simple geniality.

and again, "it sure can be stated in a negative or entitled way, but that is true of literally everything. that isn't the nature of the sentiments expressed here." i didn't rephrase anything.

the difference is your attitude vs mine about other people that neither of us know. everyone knows a "bad attitude" sours everything, not because the rest of the world is suddenly foul, but because that's what you personally see. most people have the self awareness that's a personal problem and they should not change how they treat other people based on....personal mood. you can feel annoyed while understanding "annoyance and selfishness" is your own miasma and not what others meant.

that's. really the entire thesis. if we're going to declare hate is the default, and it's this hard for people to understand, perhaps we need to demonstrate why that's a bad idea.

"where is the content"

if we interpret the meaning in your way, this is someone who is either new to fandom or to a particular website. it is a normal question to ask. most people in the world never even know settings and manuals exist, let alone look at, understand, or change them: the things that control their experience. for clarity given the nature of this conversation, i do not mean "haha what a fucking entitled jackass" in the sense of your use of "ignorant"; i mean "figuring out and understanding things is hard for most people". let alone people who are new to a thing. asking something like this is normal, expected, and necessary. responding in the tune of "what an asshole" is unkind and establishes a gross atmosphere.

i daresay a lot of people are familiar with the lucky 10,000 comic. everyone likes that, but when it comes time to practice it? yeesh.

you misunderstood what i said above; i don't think it would be useful or correct to dismiss that as ""fucking ignorant"". it sure does make a lot of people feel good to do that though. which is the problem.

even going "where is the content????" is often "i am frustrated that i can't find these wonderful things everyone else easily finds, will someone show me". "where the fuck is everything" is the same idea in a much more combative tone; for some strange reason, it seems like that would be seen LESS negatively given the worldviews in this post.

imo, generally people ask "where is the content" to express that they have noticed there is less now than there used to be. hence: i love this so much, why don't other people.

people write in the style of how they talk when having an in person conversation. generally nobody goes around delicately crafting their punctuation to avoid the slew of wrong interpretations that are possible with any statement. let alone the cultural differences that can contribute to that. people assume you're going to understand them, or at least that you'll ask for clarification and not default to jumping down their throat. like, you know. the way people navigate normal conversations.

i don't know why people should have to put that much effort into what they say, while listeners not only don't but aren't expected to put in any thought to how they're interpreting it. the speaker has to accommodate literally every possible way they could be interpreted, including batshit aggressive ones (which means they have to assume their listeners are both.....ignorant....and nasty? unpleasant way to live.), while the listener gets to assume their knee jerk and negative assumptions are perfect and they can't have possibly misunderstood or inserted things that aren't there?

fuckin weird.

"why has all the hype died down"

if most people understand this, either this person is one of the ones that do not, or they don't mean it strictly literally.

if they do not understand it, again, asking why is a normal and expected thing. lucky ten thousand, yeah? responding negatively to that is....not nice. does not create a pleasant atmosphere. i don't think most people are familiar with serious fandom; most people aren't part of it, meaning they watch a thing, like it and move on without engaging further. the "fandom" people are generally familiar with is juggernauts that have lasted decades, things with dedicated yearly events: things that have never died down and the average person always likes. it is normal to think that if you like a thing, you don't suddenly stop. that's wrong, but it's how people think of fandom.

if they do not mean it literally, imo it usually means something to the effect of "why did people stop liking this". a normal thing to ask, especially if they also don't understand the fad nature that most fandoms go through.

"Why is there no more content why did everyone leave"

follows naturally from the previous. "there is nothing" generally means "i can't find anything". it's a request for help. people are uninclined to phrase it as "please help" because.....a lot of people respond to that with "haha what a fucking ignorant asshole". it should not be hard to see why that's destructive.

it could also mean "there is way less", which again, is normal to wonder. "there is way less" is only asked if you....want more. because you enjoy it. that brings us to

"it's about the blatent dismissal of creators' work and being content-hungry"

which you unambiguously mean in a negative way.

"i am sad that there is less" does require that the speaker enjoy the content and would like more. that is....the opposite of "blatent dismissal". the most common fan question is "will there be a sequel" and "what's the release date". you seem to think those are disgustingly hateful things to ask, which is a bit odd given that most fandoms get upset when their canon content is cancelled.

"i like this so much that i want more" is second breakfast and elevensies type behavior. of course people are.....content hungry. i think it's a bit mean to take gollum's view that pippin and merry are nassssty wicked hobbitses for that. it should be obvious that such an attitude drives people away and makes it feel like their appreciation isn't wanted.

....

i gotta say, i'm tickled pink that people who identify as "serious fans" deny that there can be meaning beside what you personally interpret, especially when the common fandom sentiment is "oh that was a clumsy accident, it doesn't mean anything deeper" while.....inserting all this extra meaning for actual, real, people who haven't had years to craft what they mean. we imbue two seconds of thought with hatred, but nothing for years' worth of a deliberate act?

"there is less" is about those who stopped. it is not about those who remain. it's quite obviously not about you. to answer with "it's not dead, i'm still posting" is to insert yourself where you weren't addressed. sir this is a wendy's. even when it IS a personal question, that's not inherently a demand to perform, it is literally just interest in you and your thoughts. "why" is not a hateful question. and even, EVEN a personal question, you still really can just. not answer at all. regardless of the valence you assign to it.

people are always going to have the same questions as other people, because every day someone new shows up, or someone old has a new thought. reality and your reaction to it are separate things. if they were not, we would have to shout down every kid asking endless whys, since obviously the parent's annoyance and frustration must be synonymous with the kid being a hateful greedy dismissive monster telling its mother she's not good enough, a child who needs to be taught that expressing interest is a sin. bad way to go about interacting with other people, if i do say so myself.

if you don't enjoy the culture of having everything you say reprocessed into its secret and true evil meaning that you obviously totally intended, perhaps we should. just not do that. to other people. as a general rule.

hostility is unpleasant to be around. there shouldn't even be "doubt" to benefit from, but even then, assuming other people aren't evil should not be treated as a sin. whereas doubt literally is a canonical sin.

'Where is all the Deadpool and Wolverine content'

'Why has all the hype died down'

'Why is there no more content why did everyone leave'

Meanwhile the people who are making the content are left feeling insulted because lord forbid we're not enough. Dude stfu and make your own stuff or didn't complain.

Do you see me whining about Boondock Saints? No! Because that's an old franchise and there's not near as much stuff as they're used to be, but I love everything that comes from it. And I don't ever complain.

[dixonsdarkelf]

QOTU: A Little Friendly Competition Part 2

Summary: Going on dates wasn’t always a guaranteed good time. Vec has had her fair share of shitty dates, but the nerves she had for this particular one were for a different reason. She truly liked this one, and she wanted it to go well. Thankfully, Scud shared the same sentiment, and it made for one of the best nights of their lives.

Part two of Vec & Scud’s first date is finally here. It picks up right from where part 1 left off. I’m sorry it took so long. I’ve hardly felt like a person for the last month. I hope you like this 🖤

There’s a mention of line dancing, so if you’ve never heard of that or seen it before, here’s a good example.

Era: Pre-apocalypse, a little over a year before the outbreak

Word count: 6.2k (really glad I split this one up since part 1 was 8.1k lol)

Warnings: swearing, some small bits of content with a suggestive undertone, brief discussion of guns & weapons (in reference to Scud’s past with Blade)

We're also cross-posting on AO3 if you'd rather read over there!

My AO3 Krys' AO3

Her heart nearly catapulted from her chest as he laced his fingers between hers, and he squeezed lightly, a silent ask to make sure she was comfortable before they stayed walking. Their night had started with a little friendly competition, and now, they were off to a bar to continue their date.

“Definitely not gonna get lost now,” she grinned.

The crisp evening air nipped at her legs, forming goosebumps through her fishnets. She shivered slightly, regretting having not grabbed a jacket before stepping out that night. The sweater she’d chosen was light, barely a sweater when it came to warmth standards, as far as she was concerned. Her shiver was subtle, but it still caught the inventor’s attention.

“You cold?” he asked as his thumb absentmindedly drew small circles over the back of her hand.

There was a shudder in her voice as she talked, clearly trying to use her words to downplay how cold she really was as to not be an inconvenience to her date. “A little, but I’ll be okay. It doesn’t look like we’re going that far.”

“Nah, c’mon. I have a jacket in my car. Small detour ain’t a big deal.” He was already dragging her in the direction of his vehicle, not giving her room to protest. He wasn’t ever the type to “not take no for an answer,” but in the case of of the beautiful woman on his arm shaking like a leaf and slowly turning into a popsicle, he was willing to break his own rules.

“It’s okay Josh, really,” she reiterated as they reached his car. He was already headfirst in the backseat, quickly emerging with his red and black leather jacket, before she could protest further.

“What kinda man would I be if I let a lady such as yourself go cold for the evenin’ when I could’ve done somethin’ about it?” He handed the jacket over to her, their fingers grazing past each other, causing her cheeks to turn baby pink under her makeup again. Despite having been holding hands only moments before, the butterflies in her stomach still went into overtime. “Plus, I’m sure it’ll look way better on you.”

She smiled at the compliment and gathered her hair in a ponytail, laying it over her shoulder and sliding her arms through the sleeves. Her shivering ceased almost immediately, the thick material shielding her from the breeze and cocooning her in its warmth. He stepped around and gently gathered her hair, careful not to disturb any of her curls as he moved it to hang down her back.

Being a gentleman? Yes. Using it as an excuse to touch her? Also yes.

He stepped back and gave her a not-so-subtle up-down look over. His piercing blue eyes lingered over his jacket on her smaller frame for a few moments longer than the rest before meeting her gaze again. Scud was awestruck, already thinking about the next time he would wear it, knowing it would have a faint scent of her and her sweet vanilla perfume on it. “Told you.”

Taking his hand again, they trekked across the parking lot, his jacket now a barricade to the evening breeze. He slipped a thumb between their hands and lightly scratched her palm. The gesture had her heart fluttering, causing her to sweat a little despite shivering just minutes ago. She could only hope the breeze against her hand would prevent it from feeling clammy.

“I know I don’t need to say this, but thanks for being so cool about me being on my phone to text my best friend,” she praised, stepping up onto the curb and pressing the button on the crosswalk sign for the light to change, “being cool about girl code and all that.”

He chuckled softly, as if to emphasize reassurance that it was all good. “You’re right, you don’t need to say it. Like I said, it’s not a problem. You’ve got someone looking out for you, and that’s good. Are you two close?” He scoffed at his own remark, then continued. “That’s a stupid question, of course you’re close. How long have you two been friends?”

As they crossed the street, his hand tightened around hers ever so slightly, and he pulled her closer, both small, subconscious acts that were completely unintentional. Being the observant icon that she was, she noticed and squeezed back, drawing a faint, almost unnoticeable flush to his cheeks, only evident to her due to their close proximity.

Vec’s voice sparkled as she mused over the details of their origin story. “Since we were little, before we could even talk. Our moms were good friends and got pregnant around the same time. Our birthdays are pretty close.” A soft chuckle escaped her lips. “I’ve got two weeks on her, though. 13 days, if you really wanna get technical about it.”

“Damn, that’s a long time. Most friendships don’t last that long. That’s impressive.” As a crowd walked by on the other side of the sidewalk, he gently pulled her closer, and it only sent her heart into further fits of fluttering.

“Yeah. She’s been with me through everything, and vice versa. She’s a sister to me. My family consider her one of their own. I’m really lucky.”

“That’s awesome. I’m happy for you two.” He stifled a chuckle before asking his next question. “Do you ever get pegged as a couple in public? We talkin’ that kind of close?”

“That is the pinnacle of female friendships, Josh,” she explained, “once you’ve reached that stage, there’s no going back.”

“That’s kind of adorable.” He briefly paused before continuing, realizing his previous comment didn’t do the situation justice. “Not kind of. It very adorable.”

She could see Whistler’s up ahead, the rustic metal sign swaying lightly in the breeze. She smiled softly as she watched a group of strangers cross the street, one of the guys picking up one of the girls bridal-style and spinning her around. Her infectious laughter stood out amongst the evening Atlanta traffic, drowning out the sounds of honking car horns and music playing from nearby businesses. Vec only hoped that maybe, things would work out for her, and one day, that could be the two of them crossing the street like that.

There was still the presence of some butterflies, but the high anxiety she’d started off with before leaving the house had completely subsided at some point during the course of their little competition. Being around him felt…comfortable, natural, organic. The way her hand fit perfectly in his, the way she felt at ease with him around—it was like a dream.

Approaching the front door, he released her hand and stepped in front of her, swinging it open and gesturing inside. “After you, m’lady,” he insisted.

“Ooh, such a gentleman,” she mused, slipping past him and stepping off to the side, pulling out her phone to update her best friend.

Ginny 🌻: Probably that one. It’s cute. He has good taste. Stay safe 💛

Vec: Yep, that’s the one. We just got here. I’ll keep you posted 💙

Sliding it back into her purse, she wove through a sea of people along the counter, Scud close behind as he guided her through the crowd with a hand on her waist. They managed to snag the last set of stools at the bar, her taking the one farther from the door and positioning herself to face him, legs crossed.

“I take it you’ll still let me know if I pull any stunts you don’t like?” he wondered, propping himself onto the opposite stool. As he asked, his hand found her knee, searching her eyes for any sign of uncertainty or discomfort. When he didn’t find any and was met with a playful smile, he began drawing small circles and tracing the edges of the fishnet with his thumb.

“Oh trust me. If you pull something I don’t like, you’ll know,” she assured. There was a teasing edge to her voice, but he knew she was serious.

“Good.” He gave her knee a tender squeeze before continuing. “So what’s your drink of choice, Buttercup?”

Her stomach fluttered at the pet name, and she fought to contain the giddy giggles threatening to break through. “I don’t usually drink, but when I do, I usually go for something fruity.” She pulled out her ID and slid it to the bartender, ordering a Dirty Shirley while Scud ordered himself a beer. “I’m kind of a lightweight.”

“How much of a lightweight are we talking?” he asked, ordering some fries from the bartender when she dropped off his beer, “should probably eat something too, in that case.”

She smiled softly at his insistence, giving a friendly nod to the bartender as she stepped away. Usually, when mentioning she was a lightweight, she was met with much more crass commentary, often with attempts to get her to drink more. And here Scud was, making sure she was going to get some food in her system to help combat any side effects of the alcohol. If she wasn’t over the moon before, she certainly was now. “I’m a one drink kinda gal. Any more than that and I start throwin’ ass, and I don’t know you like that yet. I don’t have much, but I can shake what I got.”

“Yet, huh?” he smirked, clearly pleased with her choice of words. The implication of the word hung in the air for a moment before he continued. “Does that mean there’s potential to “know me like that?””

“Keep playing your cards right, and we’ll see,” she replied in the most flirtatious tone she could muster. This time, it was his turn to have the blood rushing to his cheeks at mach speed. Seeing him turn red had her heart nearly beating out of her chest, and she could practically feel it bumping against the inside of her ribcage as it tried to break free.

He cleared his throat and took a swig of his beer, doing his best to deflect from his blushing. “You got any other tricks up your sleeve? Maybe ones that don’t require you to get drunk?”

As if on cue, the bartender came back and slid Vec her Dirty Shirley, followed by some fries in a small basket. She took the glass in her hand, swirling it gently, before taking a small sip. And that was when an idea struck her.

“I do, actually,” she confirmed, a playful smile on her lips. Putting two fingers into her drink, she plucked the cherry out and broke off the stem before dropping it back in. She didn’t need to explain any further for him to know what kind of talent she was referring to.

His heart leapt into his throat when she put the stem in her mouth. Her eyes wandered around the room, landing on everything but his as she worked the stem with her tongue. He watched intently, his baby blues never leaving her face for even a second. His gaze was full of wonder, intrigue, and more arousal than he was capable of hiding.

Once she finished, she stuck her tongue out, the stem, now tied in a perfect knot, resting on it. More than ever, she was thankful for her full-coverage foundation and the dim lighting of the bar. Otherwise, she was sure her red-hot, glowing cheeks would light the place up enough for it to look like daytime. The tension between them was palpable, swirling and hanging around them like a thick cloud, evident to everyone in the bar.

“Shit.” The word came out breathy, like he’d been panting for air despite not taking a single step from his seat. “How’d you learn to do that?”

She removed the coaster from the top of her drink and plopped the stem back in before taking a sip and sliding the coaster back on. “One of my friends in college bet I couldn’t do it, so I taught myself out of spite.”

“Well aren’t you just full of surprises?” Scud studied her face as she looked at him with a devilish glint in her eye. The entire time, his hand had remained on her knee, drawing those same little circles with his thumb and running his fingers over the fishnet material.

“Oh, I have more,” she elaborated, taking a fry and biting it carefully as to not disturb her lipstick, “I can line dance.”

He eyed her up and down, his gaze first stopping on his hand on her knee, then her hand brushing some curls out of her eyes. “No shit. Like country line dance?”

She nodded as she finished another fry, a silent confirmation that he was indeed correct. She swirled her drink in her hand before sipping it again, leaving yet another lipstick mark on the rim. “Yeah. One of my friends in med school wanted to learn, but she didn’t wanna do it alone, so she convinced me to join her.”

He couldn’t help but notice her slide her coaster over her drink every time she set it down. While they’d been talking every day in the weeks leading up to their date & he knew he was no threat, he also knew that she, ultimately, didn’t really know him. Not to mention, they weren’t the only two people in the bar, and not all of them had good intentions. She was simply looking out for herself, and watching her be smart and do little things to protect herself was…attractive.

“How do I get to see this in action?” he questioned, his tone playfully demanding.

Vec looked around the room, pretending to be deep in thought as she tapped her chin with her finger. “I’ll make you a deal. If a song comes on that I know a dance to, I’ll show you.”

He nodded his beer in her direction as a form of informal mock toast. “You’ve got yourself a deal, Vee.”

She did the same with her glass and tilted it toward him, a giggle slipping from between her lips. “So enough about me. Tell me more about your experience inventing weapons for…” She raised her eyebrows and eyed him, her voice trailing off and she waited for him to continue.

“His name was Blade. Called him B.”

“For this ‘Blade’ guy. What kind of weapons did you make?”

“Guns, defense weapons, things like that.” He said it so casually, like it was the most normal thing in the world to be the personal weapons-maker for some mystery man. Despite her intrigue, there was also a lingering sense of worry, albeit small.

“Shit,” she sighed, covering her mouth as she chewed, “was he military or something?”

“Guess you could say he was more of a…hit man of sorts.”

Before he could continue, the shock caused her food to catch in her throat, and she coughed repeatedly, needing to take a few swigs of her dirty Shirley to calm her body.

“Whoa, you okay?” he asked. He lightly patted her on the back, a small gesture to hopefully improve her current situation.

After a few moments, and when she’d mostly regained her composure, she nodded. “Jesus Christ,” she exclaimed, small coughs still escaping her chest, “can you even be saying that?”

“I didn’t mean to spook you. He wasn’t exactly a hit man in the traditional sense, but that’s the closest comparison I’ve got.” He leaned in closer and dropped his voice to a whisper. “There was something fishy about him though.”

“Why are we whispering?” she asked, leaning in closer and dropping her voice as well.

“Cause it’s a secret.” His hand found her knee again, this time lightly threading one of his fingers under the fishnet and circling her bare skin, some small attempt to sooth her worries. Her heart soared, and despite the butterflies ramping up in her stomach, she was loving every second of it. “I think he was a vampire.”

She cocked an eyebrow and stifled a small laugh. She was certain he had to be joking. “A what?”

“Y’know, a blood sucker.”“I know what vampires are, you goof. Just wanted to make sure I heard you right,” she explained, her voice still a whisper.

“You sure did. The weapons I made helped with…protection of sorts.” He dropped his voice lower, forcing her to lean in closer to hear him amongst the chaos and music of the bar. Their faces were mere inches apart, and she could feel his warm breath on her skin, sending small shivers up her spine.

It took every fiber of his being to stop himself from planting one on her right in that moment.

“Protection for what?” Vec asked.

“Was more like “from” what,” he clarified, “the ‘what’ being “other vamps.”

“A vampire…needing protection…from other vampires?”

“That’s the short version,” he explained, bringing his voice back to a normal volume, “usually like to keep the details to a minimum to start. If that’s alright with you, I mean.”

“Of course, that’s more than okay,” she assured, nodding and leaning back to take another sip of her drink.

He watched as she did so, admiring the way her eyes fluttered close every time she took a taste of her beverage. She set her drink down and slid the coaster across it again, running a hand through her bangs to fix them as the bartender approached her, asking if she wanted a refill at any point. She assured her she was good with the one and thanked her with a bright smile, a smile that sent Scud’s heart nearly plummeting out of his body. His eyes barely left her face the entire time they’d been sat there, and this was no exception. She looked beautiful under the soft glow of the dim bar lights, the sparkle on her cheekbones—highlight, as she had said it was called—mimicking the twinkle in her eyes when she talked. He was one to fall fast, but he wasn’t sure if he’d even fallen this fast before.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

Her voice broke him from his daydreams, not noticing that she had turned back to him. Flustered, he said the first words that came to mind. “Your makeup looks really good. You need to show me how you do that.”

Her tone changed to one of mischievous intrigue, a hint of a smirk falling on her lips. “You want me to decorate your face?”

Deciding to be bold, he reached up and softly ran his thumb across her bottom lip, enough to smear some of her lipstick onto his thumb, but not enough to drag it onto her face. “Could decorate it with this.”

The next-level flirting made her swallow hard, and not a single word came to her. It wasn’t often that Vec was rendered speechless, but this was the moment that reigned above all else regarding the speechless factor. She simply stared at him, her mouth slightly agape as she tried to come up with something, anything, to say in return. But her mind was blank, fried from his touch, and he laughed softly at her shocked state. He wondered if she looked like a cherry blossom under all that makeup. If there wasn’t tension before, there certainly was now.

“Surprised to see you at a loss for words,” he teased. He swiped the lipstick on this thumb onto the back of his hand, smudging it around so no residue was left, maintaining eye contact the entire time.

Once she found some words, they came out stutterer through a cracking voice. “I’m gonna…I’m gonna go, uh…go fix this…I’ll be right back.” Quickly jumping from her stool, she scampered off to the bathroom without so much as a glance over her shoulder.

Throwing herself into a stall and locking the door, she took a seat on the toilet, her hands shaking as she pulled out her phone to text Georgie.

Vec: Gin, I’m fucking SWEATING

Ginny 🌻: In a good way or a bad way?

Vec: A fantastic way

Ginny 🌻: Are you bringing him home? Do I need to dig out my headphones?

Vec: He won’t be coming home, but you’ll definitely still need your headphones.

Back in the main area, the bartender approached him, asking him if he wanted another beer. He nodded, and she quickly returned with one, cracking the lid. “You two are cute,” she commented, handing it over to him.

“Thank you,” he smiled, taking a swig and nodding his bottle in the general direction of the restrooms, “she’s the cute one, though.”

“How long have you been together?” the bartender, whose name tag read ‘Sam’, inquired.

Scud chuckled softly to himself, flattered that their dynamic implied to strangers that they were a couple. “Oh no. This is a first date.”

Sam raised her eyebrows in surprise. “A first date, huh?” She reached under the counter for a bottle of something and began preparing a drink for another customer while she talked. “I’ll be honest, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen a couple with that much chemistry, let alone one that’s not even official.”

“You mean that?” His smile was almost the biggest it’d been all night.

She nodded in affirmation, handing the drink off to someone who approached the counter behind Scud and smiling at them before turning her attention back to him. “You’re doing good, bro. Keep it up. She’s devouring it, I can tell.”

As if on cue, Vec returned from the bathroom, sliding back onto her stool and turning to him. “Sorry about that,” she apologized, moving closer to him so their legs were touching.

“Nah, you’re good,” he reassured. He put a hand on her knee again, this time slipping a few fingers between the holes of her fishnets. “Don’t worry about it.”

The minutes turned into hours as they continued chatting. All the noise in the bar drowned out during their conversation, like they were the only two people in the bar. Hell, the only two people on Earth, it seemed.

His eyes barely left her once, hardly even doing so to taste his beer or take a fry. His hand remained steady on her knee, occasionally squeezing it or absentmindedly drawing shapes on it, but keeping his touch respectful and never driving farther north. He wanted to know every detail about her, every single thought, dream, fear, aspiration that passed through that pretty little head of hers. He was captivated by her in a way he’d never been captivated before.

She did the same, almost never taking her ocean eyes off him, other than to cover her drink with her coaster. He was fascinating, captivating, intriguing, and so much more, all wrapped up in the most beautiful package she’d ever laid her eyes on. She had to fight with all the strength she could muster to stop herself from cutting off every once of his sentences with a kiss.

“Well, my dad’s an astronaut, so he—“

“He’s a what?” The interruption wasn’t intentional, but he was captivated, his ADHD getting the better of him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to cut you off, that was rude. That’s just so dope.”

“It’s okay,” she promised, giggling softly, “your excitement is adorable.”

He turned a soft pink as blood flowed to his cheeks, her compliment launching his ego up at the speed of a rocket. “So did you grow up with a telescope at home?”

“Oh yeah. If he was gonna be on the International Space Station when we’d be able to see a planet or a comet or something, he’d tell my mom before he left, and she’d mark them on the calendar in the kitchen,” she explained, a small smile forming on her face as she reminisced about her childhood—those late nights staying up to see a comet fly by or being woken up by her mom at 2am to see a planet up close. “There was one time that we could see Saturn pretty close. I was like 12 or 13 I think, and my best friend stayed over so she could join us. Even though I had school the next day, my mom woke us up in the middle of the night to see it.”

“I’m a little jealous,” he teased, “so what’s it like up there, living in zero gravity and what not?”

“Well he’s the space professional, not me,” she replied.

“”Space professional” is cute. Makes it sound more official. And sorry. I’ve got a million questions.”

“Don’t apologize. You ever meet him someday, you can ask him all the questions you want.” She was certain he’d ask her more, and she was already planning on sending them to her dad and passing his answers along.

A little while later, the bartender began shouting out for last call, the remaining bar patrons slowly beginning to file out. Vec threw back the last of her drink, all that remained essentially just being ice melted into water.

“Shit, I didn’t realize it’d gotten so late,” she sighed, adjusting her purse strap on her shoulder underneath his jacket.

“As much as I’d love to find a way to keep the night going, I do have to be up early,” he grimaced. The bartender set a receipt and pen in front of him, and he slapped his card down and signed off on it before she even had a chance to react. “Gotta open in the morning.”

“That sucks.” Her face dropped every so slightly, and even though they’d spent several hours together, she was bummed to have to part ways. “What’s “opening” mean for you?”

“Startin’ at 8 but gettin’ up at 6 cause I gotta get there early,” he explained. He rose from his stool and took her hand to have her do the same. She scrunched her nose to adjust her glasses, a little quirk that he had picked up on earlier in the night that he found downright adorable. Every time, it made him smile.

“Eww. And on a Saturday? I’m sorry. That’s brutal.”

“I’m sure you’ve had your fair share of early days.” His hand hovered over her lower back as he guided her through the crowd to the front door. His inability to keep his hands off her for even a second in each other’s presence sent her ego, her heart, her hormones, and everything in between to the moon.

“More than I care to count,” she confirmed. He held the door and let her out first, immediately taking her hand again on the sidewalk as they headed back to their cars at the bowling alley.

“Y’know, you never showed off your moves,” he teased, lightly bumping her shoulder with his.

“I’m a woman of my word,” she asserted, “I promise I didn’t know a dance for any song that came on. I would’ve leapt out of my chair if I knew one. I’m not afraid to get down in public, sober or otherwise.”

Just like on the way there, he held her hand for the entire duration of their walk, occasionally swinging their arms back and forth and eliciting little laughs from her. The sound was like honey, almost sickly sweet with the way it clung to every one of his senses. He wanted to hear her laugh day-in and day-out, in any and every context—the good, the bad, and the nefarious.

“You sure you’re good to drive?” he asked as they leaned up against her car, his hand traveling from hers up her arm.

“I had one drink four hours ago. And I’ve eaten since then. I’m good,” she promised, “but I appreciate your concern. Are you good?”

“It takes more than a couple of beers for me to even get tipsy.” He sounded boastful, like he had bragging rights for being able to handle a couple of beers. He slowly eyed her up and down before giving her arm a light squeeze. “Unlike the lightest lightweight I’ve ever met.”

The teasing tone in her voice was heavy as she playfully shoved his shoulder. “Shut up.”

The tension between them as they stood there was somehow thicker than it had been at the bar. She slipped his jacket off and handed it over, muttering a soft “here’s this back” as their fingers grazed each other’s, their intense eye contact never breaking for a second. His mind wandered to their earlier escapades and the terms and conditions of their little competition. He was beginning to worry if he’d come off too strong with it.

“Look, about what I said earlier…you don’t gotta give me a kiss if you don’t want to,” he reassured, “I’m not trying to put you in an uncomfortable situation or anything.”

“You never said what kind of kiss, so…” her voice trailed off, and she placed a soft, tender kiss on his cheek, his blushing disguised in the dim lighting of the parking lot, “you can still have one. You won it fair and square.” She took notice of the stain she’d left behind, and she quickly reached up to fix it. “Oh shit, let me get the mark off.”

“Nah, leave it.” He took her hand and slowly lowered it, but not before returning the gesture of a soft, gentle kiss to the back of her fingers. Their eyes never once broke contact. “Let everyone know I got a kiss from the most gorgeous woman in Atlanta.” Her stomach was doing backflips, front-flips, somersaults, a whole goddamn gymnastics routine in her abdomen. “I’ll still tell you a secret though. Not a ‘deepest, darkest’ type.”

“Bring it on,” she encouraged. She leaned further into her car and folded her arms over her chest, propping one foot on the other. He mimicked her posture, aside from the hand resting on her arm and drawing small shapes with his fingers.

She wasn’t sure whether the goosebumps were from the cold or from his touch.

“When I was in middle school, probably 13 or 14, there was this girl in my class that I was obsessed with. There was a dance coming up, and I asked her to be my date for it. Little teen Scud was over the moon when she said yes.”

He cringed and shuddered a bit as his mind travelled back to that night. “So the dance comes, we have a fun night, and then after is when I decide I’m gonna kiss her. So I swoop in for the kill, and we just keep hitting each other. We bonked foreheads, noses, you name it. After a few attempts, she just pulls back and says “wanna try again?” I turned beet red and was so embarrassed that I just gave her a kiss on the cheek and left. Never been so humiliated in front of a girl in my life. Still don’t think anything has topped that.”

She made a hissing sound through her teeth as she inhaled. It was a little funny, but he was clearly uncomfortable with it, so she kept her laughter to herself. “Oof, yeah, that’s bad. Thanks for sharing though. I appreciate you trusting me with that.”

Scud nodded in response. “Maybe one day, you’ll get the deepest darkest one.” He leaned forward a bit, closing the distance between them further and lowering his voice just a hint to a more seductive tone. “If I get to see you again, that is.”

“Of course you do,” Vec promised, a flirty giggle rising up from the depths of her chest as she met him with an award-winning smile.

“I’m already thinking of ideas for the next one,” he continued, taking a small step closer, “maybe we come bowling again & I’ll let you beat me this time.”

“Unless we have another friendly competition.” It was a statement, but it came out as more of a suggestion. “Keep the parameters the same. Then I’d be more than happy to lose.”

“So would you say it worked?”

“Say what worked?”

“Your lucky perfume. Did it work?”

She dropped her gaze to the ground for a brief moment before bringing it back to his, and her already big smile somehow grew in size. In all of the fun antics of their evening, she’d nearly forgotten all about her perfume. “Yeah. Yeah, it definitely worked.”

This time, it was his turn to plant a kiss on her cheek, his lips lingering there for a moment longer than necessary before pulling away. As much as he wanted to kiss her properly, the nagging thought of her military brothers ate away at his confidence, fearing he’d be hearing from them if he so much as thought about making a “wrong” move.

He felt her skin getting hot under her makeup, and he snickered, knowing he had in fact been making her blush like a cherry blossom all night. “Let me know when you get home safe.”

“Will do.” Flashing him one last bright smile, she climbed into her car and watched him walk off. She gave her car a few minutes to warm up, texting both her dad with all of Scud’s questions and Georgie in the meantime.

Vec: Headed back now

Vec: I have so much to tell you

Ginny 🌻: As long as I don’t have to worry about getting the tissues out, color me extremely curious…

Ginny 🌻: And excited?

Ginny 🌻: Do I get excited?

Vec: You get excited ��️

Ginny 🌻: You can’t see, but I’m a giddy mess rn

Upon arriving back at their apartment, she found Georgie waiting for her on the couch, nearly jumping up to greet her and scooping her up for a hug before she’d even closed the door.

“So how was it!?” Georgie asked, squeezing her tighter as the tone of her voice heightened in pitch. She was nearly squealing with delight, bursting at the seams to hear every juicy detail of the eventful evening her bestie had.

She grabbed her best friend by the shoulders and took a deep breath to gain her composure. “Gin…he’s got a tongue piercing.”

“Huh. That’s cool.” Georgie wasn’t into piercings the same way Vec was, but she knew how things like that affected the doctor. She chuckled softly. “Do you need a minute?”

Taking another deep breath, Vec slowly lowered herself to the ground, setting her bag next to her and stretching her limbs out into a starfish pose. Simply thinking back to the reveal of his tongue piercing was doing things to her. “I need several.”

“Compose yourself while I get the wine. Pizza’s already on the way. Placed the order as soon as you said you were on your way back,” Georgie said, chucking softly again at her bestie’s dramatics.

“God, I love you.”

Back at his place, Scud fell back against the couch, his head resting on the back as he stared up at the ceiling. His mind was racing, replaying little snippets of their adventures over and over again. His whole body was buzzing.

“Holy shit.” A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, warping from something small into a silly grin. She made him a kind of happy he hadn’t felt in a long time.

A vibration in his pocket interrupted his thoughts, pulling him from the sweet daydreams he was getting lost in. However, he was delighted when he realized it was from her.

Vee 😍: Made it home safe & sound

Scud: Good ☺️ So did I

Vee 😍: I had the best time. Thank you for everything. I’m excited to see you again (hopefully soon?) 😉

Scud: I should be thanking you for the best night ever. And yes, I definitely wanna see you again soon 😉

Vee 😍: Hope your shift tomorrow isn’t too brutal

Scud: I’ll text you in the AM

Scud: Sleep tight

Scud: Try not to miss me too much 😉

Vee 😍: 😏 Goodnight Josh

Vec sighed and tossed her phone on the ground next to her, and she kinked her legs up to take her boots off and toss them on the ground as well. “I need this man in ways that would make a nun clutch her rosary and make the concept of feminism shake in her boots.” Reaching into her purse, she dug out a hair tie and tilted her neck up before gathering all of her hair and tying it into a messy bun on the top of her head.

“Based on what you were sending me, it sure sounds like it,” Georgie agreed.

“Also, he called me Buttercup…like the Powerpuff girl,” Vec said, resting her head back on the ground and looking back over her forehead in Georgie’s direction. The details were already flowing from her lips against her will, but she wasn’t mad about any of it.

Georgie nodded as she filled a glass with wine, thinking over the details of said Powerpuff girl and just how accurate of a nickname it was. “Well it’s certainly fitting,” she agreed. Deciding to be playful and “torture” her a little more with the whole tongue-piercing thing, she continued. “Just imagine what that piercing would feel like when he’s going down on you.”

Taking yet another deep breath, Vec groaned, her mind wandering further into the nefarious directions it had gone in earlier in the night. “I was just starting to cool off, Gin!”

“Suffer!” Georgie teased. Her warm laughter echoed through their apartment, eliciting a laugh from Vec as well. As Georgie joined her on the ground with two glasses of wine, Vec could hardly hold the details back, and they began their debrief before the food even arrived.

Vec belongs to me, Georgie belongs to @dixons-sunshine

QOTU taglist (aka the council): @kat-herine00 @gothic-pumpkin @weirdoneattheparty @ffsjustletmesleep @imadisneyprincessiswear

General taglist: @raddydaddydude @lovenormandixon @angeldemoncrowley @negansbestie @holdmytesseract

Want to become a head of the council? Hit up either myself or Krys to be added to the taglist :)

Banner, divider, and © below were made by Krys

[villanious-gay-ghost]

I think I've figured out how to let go

(originally posted on Reddit by me, but I thought I'd share it here as well)

Doesn't apply to everyone!!! We all have different journeys and different things that work for us! These are just some thoughts, take them with a grain of salt. If it doesn't resonate with you, then it's not for you.

I've been thinking a lot about this recently because I felt like I'm trying to control too much of my DR to the point that it has become an obsession. For almost three years, I've been doing the same thing over and over again. I create myself a DR with the perfect life, perfect backstory, perfect S/O, perfect family, etc. It's all so perfect and planned out that it has no room for growth. When you have everything, that's just not fun.

Then when all the planning and scripting is done, I lose interest, and it's not getting me anywhere. No matter how perfect these DRs are, they feel distant, unrealistic, and unreachable. They're just too good to be true. I'm sure that such realities exist, but for me, it's not a realistic goal YET because I'm clearly struggling to get there. And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way and I'm trying to come up with a solution for that.

So if my DR is already perfect, then what else is left to do? Nothing. It's not an authentic experience anymore. Perhaps the hardest part is admitting to myself that I don't want the perfect DR or an ideal version of myself because that's what I've been chasing the entire time. The easy way, where I have everything, but it's just not what I want.

I want the human experience where I can find true immersion, where I have no knowledge of the outcome. I want to live, to exist.

Shifting is life. You're not an actor trying to act out a script. It's not just some fantasy, we're talking about reality. But life isn't something that you can plan, is it? There's always something that we can't predict because that's just how it is.

So what is letting go?

Letting go is when you specify only the basics in order to create a grounded reality. You define who you are, where you want to go, create a general idea of your life, maybe who your parents and siblings are, but you let the rest naturally unfold. You don't stress about the little details, you don't make a 20 pages long script.

Put that script aside for a bit. You don't plan your younger brother's personality, you don't plan your neighbor's eyebrow color, you don't plan how many bathrooms your house has, the types of plants your high school biology teacher kept in her classroom, you don't plan your number of friends, or the brand of your first car. You don't plan. You absolutely can do all those things, and having a script doesn't necessarily mean that you're obsessed with control. But if you're like me and that's not working for you, then maybe try considering going back to basics. You don't need specifics to connect to your DR.

It's hard, I know, because we want to be in control and all that. But you're letting go by not trying to control every aspect of your DR. Trust yourself, trust the universe, trust shifting, trust whatever you believe in and let go of your limitations. Create a reality for yourself, a place where you genuinely want to live.

But if you only have the basics, then how do you shift? That doesn't seem enough, but, in theory, it should be. True, you don't have specifics, but you still have the key, the most important thing that you need in order to shift: yourself.

Just lay down, relax, focus on your breathing if that helps. Let go of the details, don't think about them because they're only holding you back. Focus on the idea, the concept of a better reality where you're safe, cared for, and happy. You don't need a method, you don't need to visualize. Just feel and trust that it's happening. Feel the peace and feel the shift pulling you in.

Hope this helps someone. Start open and go living!

[sybxritiic]

"no, i am listening. you just aren't articulating yourself very well," naya cuts in, bringing a hand up to massage her temple. it's her job to listen to people─to collect information, make inferences, and form logical connections─and she's good at it. sometimes to the detriment of her personal relationships since most people would rather fight than admit to being wrong. "if you meant to say that, then fine. i accept that, and i believe you. but you weren't exactly giving me an enthusiastic yes." she's spent enough time with renata to understand that vulnerability doesn't come easily to her, but she also knows that successful relationships demand transparency. if they can't talk about how they feel, there's no point in attempting to reconcile. "all i want is to know that we're on the same page.” no one wants to hear a ‘sure’ or an ‘i guess’ or an ‘if you think it’s a good idea’ when it comes to a relationship, they want an ‘i want to be with you, too.’ she’s not about to hammer that point home, though. even she knows not to push renata too far. “if you're saying that we are, then yes. that’s enough for me."

"when did i say that?!" now she was past the point of frustration. it's a rarity that renata show a sliver of vulnerability but when it eventually just feels like it's for naught? there's an even rarer chance that it'll happen again. "you did all of those things, i'm not saying that you didn't. and i expressed to you how work has been a priority up until now. you have plagued my mind since our relationship ended and i'm telling you that i want to change that. is that not good enough for you? is that not doing things differently this time around?" her words are biting, piercing through the tension that sits between them like heavy sludge. a scoff and she throws her hands up, turning her body around to start pacing. anything to bring space between them. "you're not fucking listening. and i'm not going to say it again," no matter how much i want this.

[recent-rose]

intrigued by the idea that jayce dooms viktor to become the herald because he loves viktor too much to let him die. but mage!viktor could also choose not to save jayce from the storm in order to save himself from that fate, and yet he too loves too much to let go of jayce. endless cycle only broken by their choice to go together.

[nightmarish-fallen-angel]

If you are the type of person to consistently make jokes/statements like "I hate all men/men are disgusting/all men are evil" and one of your friends looks at you and tells you "it makes me really uncomfortable when you joke like that, can you please stop?" would you stop making that type of joke around that person?

[libra-stellium]

Finally done with this transit!! omfgggg tired is an understatement! I'm already sad for 59yr old me who's gonna have to live through this again lmao but anyway let's see how it was from December to January!

Notes from Saturn in Transit - Erin Sullivan

Saturn over the ascendant can be experienced as an extremely dramatic shift from "who you used to be" to "who you will be" but with a rather traumatic period of uncertainty while the no longer useful persona is sloughed off

The uncertainty is insane right now! Personally and professionally lmao like I actually have no idea if my job is going to affected yet by the new admin and no one knows anything at work so we're just waiting??? and personally I feel like I've been feeling more and more different from the people around me and it's sad! And at the same time I feel like I've been more open about things lol

The thresholding that is experienced during this time can be a shock to someone who has strongly identified with or has been identified with a particular and definite image

Real af lol I feel like i'm just trying out new personalities low key because sometimes I feel like I'm being fake and I have to retreat by myself and be like oh okay I wasn't it's all good lol

Understanding this necessary loss of personal identification greatly reduces stress and allows a more conscious transition into the new self image. The struggle is all about coming to terms with unconscious material in the conscious mind and vice versa

I started being able to remember my dreams again and actually being able to write them down! Even my prophetic dreams are starting to come back so it'll be interesting to see how more unconscious things manifest.

Symbolic of a descent into oneself

Descent into madness for SURE!! I also journaled in my physical journal once in the last two months lol it felt like anything I could write about was just too much to get into when I finally got some time to myself lol

Notes from Planets in Transit - Robert Hand

You will try to eliminate everything in your life that is not necessary to fulfilling responsibilities

This was way more a struggle this time around! I feel like the things won against me and my responsibilities lol I haven't done laundry since Dec! Well I've just been doing underwear and a few things I want to wear asap instead of everything which is 3 hampers....

You will become more complex and simpler at the same time

I feel like I have done a lot more that was just me following my excitement but to others doesn't really make sense bc they're not connected lol but to me they're all the same!

You are finishing up tasks going into a 5-8 year period of relatively quiet preparation for a new beginning

Low key been feeling like everything is ending but I have no idea what's next for me!

You may have less freedom of movement than usual because of the pressure of circumstances and the need to get things done

This omfg I had to go into the office so much more than usual to do assistant work bc the people that do that work were out or had whatever wrong so I was next in line I guess?

You may have to exert more effort at work in order to get the job done

Fr! I was literally redoing other people's work that they did wrong and I wanted to rip my hair out! This intern that's currently in law school was helping me make witness binders and he couldn't even hole punch...I'm not even exaggerating the holes were half circles and the paper was ripped.

Your superiors may give you even more responsibility than you would choose to have

On Jan 10 the last day this transit was exact I had to basically walk the document manager through printing while I was at home... then i had to show her how to print a shipping label like it was too much and then she still didn't finish on time and missed the fedex pickup like it was so crazy I had to talk to the managing attorney the following Monday and he thought I was gonna quit lol

Do not start out on a completely new project because in a few years you may find that you do not have the material or psychological resources to complete it

Haven't started any projects like that lol or at least none that would be relevant in a few years!

Good relationships will not suffer but bad ones will break up completely

Didn't have any bad relationship things happening.

You are withdrawing from everything in your life that is in the way of your development during the next few years

Been saying no way more!!

Avoid building a wall between yourself and others because they are important to you now that you are excluding those who do not belong

Been making it a point to be more open!

This is a productive time

Very! I finally finished my 3000 piece puzzle I started Jan 2024 lol

Follow through on the tasks that need to be done and get your life in shape for the next phase of preparation

..... Fine! I'll do my laundry tomorrow lol it's the only thing I've been slacking on!

Saturn conjunct Ascendant

As a 14 degree Pisces rising this was March 12, 2024 to May 8, 2024.

"Bitch wtf is going on????" - me the entire 57 days and it's coming back around in early 2025

Notes from Saturn in Transit - Erin Sullivan

Saturn over the ascendant can be experienced as an extremely dramatic shift from "who you used to be" to "who you will be" but with a rather traumatic period of uncertainty while the no longer useful persona is sloughed off

It’s been a weird timeeeeeee like there’s some things i'm like so excited about that are a “new me” and then there’s some other stuff I’m like 💀💀💀 about and I’m gonna pretend like nothing is happening for a while longer bc this feels like too much change at once 🥲 maybe in 2025 lol my mind has been going nonstop!

The thresholding that is experienced during this time can be a shock to someone who has strongly identified with or has been identified with a particular and definite image

lol I literally introduced myself as an astrologer to someone the other day bc they mentioned astro and me being an attorney never came up and it honestly felt nice 😩 yeah my entire schooling revolved around becoming an attorney but like it doesn’t "feel" like I succeeded at it lmfao and I’m honestly not putting a lot of effort into making it feel like success either so 🙃

Understanding this necessary loss of personal identification greatly reduces stress and allows a more conscious transition into the new self image. The struggle is all about coming to terms with unconscious material in the conscious mind and vice versa

I think so much is happening in my unconscious mind bc I usually remember most of my dreams in complete detail and the last two weeks at least I know I’ve had very longgg detailed dreams but when I wake up I can’t remember it in the part of my brain that can say it into words lol I feel like I’m missing out on messages!

Saturn brings to the ascendant all the manifest experiences and control issues that have dominated the last 14 year extraverted cycle during which the individual learned how to be present and accountable in the conscious world or accomplishments, deeds, and collective goals

"I'm giving myself goals because I don't know what to do with myself if I'm not accomplishing anything." - Me in 2021 a year after getting my law degree lol I feel like it encompasses this whole thing! During this transit I wrote a list of personal goals and they're not outward things like graduation they're more like be consistent with skin care lol the other day I told my aunt I just relaxed and I didn't do anything and she was like if you're so boring why don't you go on a walk and i was like??? I didn't say that?? lol made me not want to say anything else!!

Symbolic of a descent into oneself

When I first read this I was like oooh seems zen 🧘🏾‍♀️ IT WAS NOT ZEN IVE BEEN IN THE TRENCHES!! It feels like too much pressure to know and be like "this is who I am" i just want to be a pisces rising whose personality changes whenever

Notes from Planets in Transit - Robert Hand

You will try to eliminate everything in your life that is not necessary to fulfilling responsibilities

I didn’t do many things just for fun during this time everything had a purpose. I did finish reading two books unfinished from last year and it was in an attempt to spend less time watching videos which worked!

You will become more complex and simpler at the same time

Idkkkk I’m not sure I understand what this even means

You are finishing up tasks going into a 5-8 year period of relatively quiet preparation for a new beginning

I feel like I’ll see this more in 2025 bc right now I don’t really have anything started that needed to be finished lol

You may have less freedom of movement than usual because of the pressure of circumstances and the need to get things done

A week into this I made happy hour plans and I was going to leave work extra early bc I had nothing to do and I got an assignment literally 2 hours before I was going to go! I did finish in 2 hours and went to HH but it was stressful lol

You may have to exert more effort at work in order to get the job done

For real the last month I actually had so much more work at work than usual I was working a full 8 hour day sometimes 😭 usually I have like maybe 8 hours of work a week!

Your superiors may give you even more responsibility than you would choose to have

Facts! The last few days I’ve been essentially training this girl at work and the last day of this transit I finished lol seemed fitting

Do not start out on a completely new project because in a few years you may find that you do not have the material or psychological resources to complete it

This makes me feel like it should be about something big 😂 I have not started any projects lol I did apply to a few jobs but none of them even responded to reject me so that was also unintentionally not started

Good relationships will not suffer but bad ones will break up completely

I feel like Saturn in aqua in my 12H took care of most of the bad relationships already lol so this was fine

You are withdrawing from everything in your life that is in the way of your development during the next few years

Yeah I’ve been more annoyed than usual at people around me who are making the choice to struggle just bc they don’t want to try something new 😩 it’s been making me feel like I can’t be as close to them like it’s contagious 😂

Avoid building a wall between yourself and others because they are important to you now that you are excluding those who do not belong

Yes I’ve been making it a point to actually say yes to events lol but it's hard to keep in contact with people for some reason! I forget to or think that less time has passed and then I check messages and it's been weeks!

This is a productive time

I did get a lot done! I cooked a lot of meals, I washed all my bedding that’s been sitting there since end of last year, I cleaned my fish tank, I cleaned the mildew off my bathroom walls, I put a lot of my clothes away, my recycling pile is way down, I built a storage shelf thing for under my desk, I sewed a skirt, I read and wrote a lot

Follow through on the tasks that need to be done and get your life in shape for the next phase of preparation

I’ve been intentional about this! I made a list of things I want to get out of my saturn return in my 1H and one of those things is clear skin so I’ve been consistent with the routine like actually tracking it on the calendar! Losing weight was another on that list and the last two months I was just focusing on food like getting back into cooking and the last almost 3 weeks I’ve been tracking all my food and even using a food scale. On the last day of this transit I signed up for the gym!

Overall I would give this transit 6/10 😂 the mental anguish was toooo much Omggg I hope it’s easier in 2025 and after that I’m glad I don’t have to deal with this for another 30 years

[emulation-0]

im not part of the 'diavolo did nothing wrong crowd' but i do think the level of punishment he got exceeded the crimes he committed. like... the fact that his job exists is evil of course but for a person in that position the things he did were pretty average, and were also things giorno was going to end up doing/did end up doing anyway. like this bro is so funny when it comes to morals: 'murder is okay but drugs are the ultimate evil.' and i can understand that in certain contexts but those are certainly not the contexts that giorno operates on lol

[icewindandboringhorror]

I occasionally wish to reach out to old friends/acquaintances I haven't spoken to since high school/some other even earlier time in my life, but I have SOOO little social energy even for required tasks (like making dr phone calls or etc), I never have any leftover for extra ones, and it would be very odd to message someone I haven't spoken to in like 5 years out of the blue but then take 4 entire months to respond back lol.. My natural curiosity with nostalgia/collecting details of the past/etc. (literally if I were born a little earlier I would definitely do scrapbooking or something lol) is very strong, but, alas, not strong enough to beat out the Social Issues Demons apparently

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

if dorian didn't show up, do you think louis would have shot minnie?

I do. I know some people think either he wouldn't have or he would've missed so that's why the writers had him shoot Dorian instead, but mmmmmm no, I don't personally think so. I like to think that if he had taken the shot, his shaky hands would've caused him to shoot her fatally.

Mostly because I'm already so normal about the fact that of the Ericson crew, Marlon and Louis are the only ones with a body count. Well, that we know of, but shown to us in the game, at least. Plus, we know it's Louis' first kill.

Like yeah, Clementine and AJ become part of the crew and they have bigger body counts, and if we're counting indirect kills caused by actions, then Tenn has a count... and I guess everyone has blood on their hands for blowing up the boat... but I'm talking about killed directly with a weapon like....... I lied, I'm not normal about that at all, Louis and Marlon are the ones who have killed someone in Louis' route. I'm also not normal about the fact that Louis kills Dorian and then even as he's clearly in shock, he tries to go with Clementine to get AJ, and then later on when they talk about it, he says it feels like bile but not quite and he's glad he has it in him to do it.... listen, listen, listen... I'm obsessed with that.

Anyway, so if Louis shot Minerva, I think he would've accidentally killed her and can you imagine? He's already enough of a mess after killing the woman who pinned him down and tried to cut his finger off [or succeeded] but he knew Minerva, they were friends before the twins were taken. Even Violet couldn't kill her even though that would've been the smarter thing to do, and we know thanks to meta knowledge that killing her would've saved lives, but Violet couldn't, and I don't think Louis would intentionally either.

Speaking of Violet, if Louis killed Minerva, I hate to think about what that would've done to Vi. I think she might've actually left at that point, like what was planned before it got changed to her being burned. I don't think she would've attacked Louis over it, though, like yeah she attacked Clementine in the cell but Louis? I don't know, but I don't think so just because it's Louis and he'd be a mess about it anyway.

Though if he did kill her, it would be a neat parallel to draw... y'know, because Louis forgave AJ for killing Marlon even though he was pissed and heartbroken, and Violet was annoyed with him the entire time... but could she ever forgive Louis for killing Minerva? Y'know? We already have a similar parallel with AJ shooting Tenn, but still.

If Clementine killed Minerva in that moment, though, then I could see Violet attacking her since in her eyes, Clem proved her right.

So yeah, I get why they added the Dorian kill to his route. It adds another compelling element to Louis as a character, but we also need Minerva alive for episode 4; Louis can't kill her, he can't miss, and he's not going to stay with her because we need Violet to stay on the boat and him to be on shore for all routes.

[sherlock-is-ace]

.

[the0ther-side0f-dawn]

just a little personal anecdote/ thought dump in the tags..