#are people going to come at me for including ''pathetic'' moments?

[lacefuneral]

when i release my stede is femme comp y'all better appreciate me </3

[salemlunaa]

YOU’RE TRYING TOO HARD ꧂

burning yourself out over something so simple never ends well…

If you know me, have been following me for a while or frequent my posts, you might notice a pattern, I never use the word “enter” when it comes to the void/“I AM” state. I always use the words “tap in” or “induce”. Why? because you can’t enter something that IS you. It’s not possible,

you are the void,

you are I AM,

you are pure consciousness,

you are an awareness,

stop trying too hard, as soon as you think too hard about it, as soon as you look for “symptoms” as soon as you ask yourself if you’re “doing this right” youve fucked up. Why? because you are the operant power, let me ask you a question: who do you think you answer to? why are you asking if you’re doing this correctly when YOU’RE the god of your reality?

do you think you answer to these bloggers, including me, sitting back up after 5 minutes of “nothing happening” to go back to tumblr and double check the posts on here to see if you’re “doing it right”? do you think you answer to these success stories of people you don’t even know, copying what they did to the very detail so that you can shift? do you think you answer to the a million and one methods in this community, limiting yourself to thinking you cant shift if you dont do it like they did it, like that video said you should, like this specific blogger said you should? why are you answering to other people if YOU are the operant power, like you say in your affirmations? why are other people controlling you in YOUR reality? you are being sooo pathetic right now…

stop. trying. so. hard. this shit will always be as easy as breathing, this state of pure consciousness is owed to us

as a god you answer to no one, stop asking if you’re doing it right.

there’s nothing to do, just be

fuck methods and just be

get rid of this mindset that you have to work hard to shift/ tap into the void or “I AM”/ induce pure consciousness

get rid of this mindset that you have to put in any effort at all

get rid of this mindset that you need a method

although time is a concept, why are you putting hours of effort and energy into a routine to help you, what do YOU need help with? you’re a god, you don’t need a routine, just be.

As soon as you acknowledge that you are trying too hard to immerse yourself, take a step back for a second and remind yourself of the truth: no effort is needed!! Like i say, you can rack your brain so much that it drains you, trying to find the “cheat code”, and let me tell you, it won’t end well, and you will know that when in years time you are still here, still looking for “instant methods” all while living a life that you dread.

It should never be a chore, the second it feels that way or the second you feel that you’re draining yourself because you just “can’t seem to get it” take a step back, only for a moment, and calm yourself down because something that only takes you seconds is never that serious.

Relax, Deep breathing, Affirm “I AM”, Let go, that’s it. that’s all you need, nothing else, i PROMISE you

JUST BE, SIMPLY BECAUSE YOU CAN. NO EFFORT NEEDED!!🐆💋

also thank you to beyoncé for this gif and for letting me make this post (iykyk lmao)

[defmaybe]

Bahama

KISS OF LIFE’s Won Haneul x Male Reader

1.7k words

See Also: Sticky, Not Shy

A/N: Itzy fic with a Kiss of Life title, check. Aespa fic with an Itzy title, check. So, here we are, Kiss of Life fic with an Aespa title. Also, a bit exposition heavy in the beginning lmao. Thanks for reading as always!!!

–

Small, idyllic waves crash into the golden sand. Seagulls fly above your head. People run into the water. The scent of salt permeates the air. The sun is setting in front of you, casting orange into the sky. You’d be lying to say that you don’t like this place.

Department trip, electrical engineering to be exact, would’ve been a splendid chance for you to get closer to Won Haneul, the goddess you’ve been pining over for the last few months. You fell in love with her confidence—how she’s always not letting her voice be silenced. Her leadership—how she led your group to a standing ovation from the professor last semester. Her invulnerability—how she stands up for the minority (which includes you, once).

Two problems, though. She definitely doesn’t love you back. Only occasional hello-s and hi-s in the hallway, that’s all. And this trip has been far from productive. You couldn’t get close to her for less than a meter for the last thirty-six hours, and by tomorrow, this chance would fly away as you two have to go back to your mundane university lives.

The other problem is that everyone has also been pining over her, so your chances are negative.

–

You and Wonbin are sitting on the sand, watching the sunset together. What a sight. Both of you have been sipping your beers once every few minutes for a while now. You watch Haneul playing volleyball with her friends from afar, wearing a set of skimpy clothes you’ve been fantasizing about for the last few months. Black bra, short jeans that accentuate her ass so fucking well. You have to adjust your trunks every once in a while to hide that raging erection.

Not that it goes by without Wonbin noticing it, though.

“Fucking pervert,” he says with a giggle.

“What the fuck?” you sneer back at him, trying to deny your frenzy lust for Haneul.

“And I thought I’ve been the dirty one all this time.”

“Fuck off, man,” you curse, gauging off a laugh from Wonbin.

“You really like her that much, don’t you?”

You can only whimper back.

“Go talk to her! I’m sure she won’t mind.”

“I don’t know, man. She wouldn’t even bat an eye on me unless I’m in an accident or something.” You surrender to the hypothetical apathy of hers. How could a popular woman even come to pour an ounce of interest for you?

White screen, her in the middle, smiling, a single, large carnation blooming behind her.

Elegant.

She looks better alone than with you.

“I mean, I didn’t win Jiwoo’s heart by just looking at her from afar. Go talk to her!” Wonbin says with a chuckle, shrugging. “A simple ‘Hey’ wouldn’t hurt.”

“What if she doesn’t like me? You can’t just expect me to do that!” you reply, sighing.

“Look, it’s the only way, man. Stop putting women on the pedestal and your whole world will change,” he answers.

“Ugh, I just–” you lie down on the sand before closing your eyes. “–I can’t.”

Wonbin pats your shoulder before lying down beside you.

“Man.”

—

Your moment of peace lasts pretty long. If the weather isn’t so hot, you swear you could fall asleep right then and there. The sound of the sea fills your ear, with the images of Haneul in those shorts reeling in your mind. God, what a time.

Until you feel a cold sensation on your pants, freezing cold.

And you hear Haneul gasps.

“Shit, fuck, I–I’m sorry,” she apologizes, stuttering slightly.

Shit. She spills her watermelon frappe on the fabric. You can’t panic. Don’t fucking panic.

“O–Oh, it’s f–fine, Miss Won,” you stammer in the same fashion as hers, before realizing what you’ve just–

“Hmm?” she says, before letting out a laugh, one that’s probably out of you being a pathetic man.

Fuck.

“Miss Won?” Her laugh grows even louder.

Why not just end it all here? You sit there, frozen, until her snicker subsides.

“Oh, don’t be shy, mister,” Haneul says with a sly smile, offering you a hand to get up. “Let’s get you cleaned up. Again, I’m sorry for, well, that.”

“I–It’s fine, Haneul.” You comply with her invitation, reaching for her and getting up from the sandy floor. There goes your chance of her. It’s over. 

At least she’s still kind to you.

—

“Ready?”

“Yeah.”

Haneul adeptly twists the tap, and warm water flows out of the shower head she’s holding onto your swimming trunk. It was supposed to get wet, anyway. It’s just not in the way you’ve expected it to be.

She takes you back to the villa to clean you up. Sure, you could’ve just walked into the sea for a cleanup session, but her insistence was hard to resist. So, here you are, in the bathroom together.

She smiles throughout this embarrassing act (at least for you), as if there’s something amusing to be found within washing watermelon frappe off a man’s private parts. You are in a frozen state in front of this deity, just half a meter away from you, unable to say a word aside from the high-pitched grunts from time to time, bringing out laughs from her.

Until she clears her throat.

“Can I say something?” Haneul asks, eyes darting away from you, finding comfort in other objects around the room.

“Y–Yeah, sure.”

“Um…” She blinks rapidly, only able to maintain just a split second of eye contact with you. Is she finding you repulsive?

Anticipation hangs heavy. Both of you cannot say a thing under the silence. You watch her evading your eyes.

“Nothing,” she says, tucking her hair behind her ears. “We should get going.”

It’s over.

“Yeah,” you reply, before patting the last bit of the red chunk away as she turns off the water. “Thanks, Haneul.”

It ends here—your chance with her. At least you two can still be friends.

You turn back, ready to open the do–

“Wait.”

The word holds you accountable for a hot breath longer.

She turns the tap back on. But this time, she aims for your abdomen. Water trickles down your body.

“W–Woah, what the–”

A kiss on your lips silences you.

You take in her scent of sweat mixed with an otherworldly hypnotic perfume—salty, floral. Her tongue invades your mouth with ease, sweeping the insides of your warm cavern. The shower head is pressed between your bodies; water is running down and makes her frame wet alongside you. Fireworks are everywhere; people are cheering and clapping their hands; music is playing.

Won Haneul kisses you—with tongue.

She unlatches herself off of your lips, panting for air. “F–Fuck, that was great.”

You’re at a loss for words, still processing the kiss that happened mere seconds ago.

“Kneel for me, please.”

Without a single thought, you fall to your knees. The scent of her only serves to drive you insane.

Haneul would say nothing before slowly, so, so slowly, peeling off her incredibly tight shorts, revealing black panties underneath that matched her bra.

“Like the view, baby?” she asks.

You nod without resistance.

“Good boy,” she says, before softly pushing your damp head onto her equally wet cunt from the running water. And instinctively, you stick your tongue out and lick her clothed folds like some starving whore, drawing a gasp from her.

“Fuck!” exclaims Haneul. Her grip on your head becomes tighter. The pain stings, but your determination is unwavering. Your tongue keeps its pace on the soft fabric just for her pleasure. She just cannot whine louder at your touch.

The hint of her salty taste seeps through the dark fabric, diluted by the trickling water from the shower. Her fingers run along your hair, sending you into haywire, but you need even more.

Your hands seem to have minds of their own. They slither up her soft, toned legs, up the luscious thighs. They’re so firm. Until you reach the tenderness of her ass you’ve been craving for.

“Yes!” she screams, mouth opening wide, moaning. She pushes your head against the wall. The sound of the water still rings in your ear, dribbling down from your pressed head. It mixes with her thunderous moans into a cacophony. “Y–You’re gonna make me cum.”

Her legs turn stiff. Her breaths become more erratic and frenzy. You keep your pace, you have to. Going faster will kill the momentum. You keep lapping up her juices through those skimpy black panties, tasting that salt running out of her pretty cunt. The spilling softness in your hands only drives you further into mania.

And a loud gasp is all it takes for you to see heaven.

Fuck.

Her legs cease to stand up straight. Her grip on your head loosens as she becomes a wobbly mess. A high note echoes through the bathroom. Someone must’ve heard that, but you’re not in a position to care. You’ve just had the best meal of your life that is Won Haneul’s cunt.

“Fuck, shit,” she exclaims, as she’s coming down from her high. She lets go of your head. But as if you’re magnetized to her cavern, you keep slurping up her tangy juices through the revealing garment—any of what’s left. You can just do this forev–

“A–Alright, I know I taste good, baby.” The water is still running, washing any filth of the mere minutes ago away.

It takes a lot of self-reservation to put yourself out of her cunt. That salty, mouthwatering cunt. You whine a little as you pull your head back.

She washes the dirtiness on you with the water before turning it off, hanging the head back into its place.

“Thanks,” you reply with a smile.

“C’mon, let’s go to the sea. Maybe tonight–” she slithers her hand down into your shorts, groping your length—grabbing, squeezing, stroking, all in a flash. “–I’ll give you more than my lips.

The touch alone puts you back in your place. “Y–Yes, Haneul.”

—

[sky-high-standards]

Yandere Emperor x fem reader

set in medieval times. usual warnings y'all should know the drill by now☺

Your kingdom was being invaded and everyone did what they could to save it but the invaders were too strong you watched so many innocent people being slaughtered by the invaders and the survivors were taken hostage including you.

These invaders were sent by the emperor who was a cold and merciless man until he met you~

You were taken into the magnificent palace where you were forced to work for the emperor's wife Imelda, she was an extremely insufferable woman and treated all of her servants like crap. It wasn't the best life, but it could be far worse but unfortunately Imelda and the Emperor were having a rough patch and rumors said he was having multiple affairs with other women, so she was worse than usual.

You were on your way to bring Imelda her breakfast when someone bumped into to you and that person just happened to be the emperor you looked up at him wide eyed and covered in Imelda's breakfast and apologized profusely while he just stared at you he didn't look angry all he did was stare at you as you quickly collected everything and bowed before you ran off but little did you the moment he saw you that nervous look on you face got him excited in a way that no woman including Imelda had ever done something about you just caught his attention.

You walked into Imelda's room to see her crying on the floor you asked her what happened an she totally lost it.

Imelda: That's none of your concern you pathetic slave your lucky to be here but remember your place and stay out it!!!

You then left not wanting to deal with her again. It turns out that the king had just gotten tired of her and sent her off which was great news for everyone since they didn't have to deal with her anymore. Naturally the Emperor had to remarry so he had many beautiful women come to the palace where he would choose his new bride due to you being a servant you had to assist the women being sent but the strange thing was that each time a woman was being presented, he glanced at you for every single one it was as confusing to the emperor as it was to you he was just drawn to you every time he saw you a wave of excitement and...love? came over him that he wasn't used to.

Eventually he chose a wife she was very beautiful and seemed like a very suitable wife, but he never got that feeling when he was around her. The emperor's wife whose name was Miranda was very kind and caring and even befriended you she was great in every possible way, but everyone could feel the emperor didn't love her so poor Miranda made it her mission to win his affection yet nothing worked so she slowly began to give up on his affection while u didn't have to try you started to see the emperor a lot more often and you noticed his cold crystal blue eyes following you as you cleaned and unbeknownst to you it took a great deal of strength to restrain himself from pouncing of you and making you his he would go feral on the inside when you bend down to clean in his bedroom it was embarrassing how you didn't even have to do much to make him hard.

Slowly the emperor tried to have you around more to ease his hunger like "accidentally" brushing his hand against yours or having you bend down to get his pen that he "accidentally" dropped. All he wanted to do was make you his to own every inch of you, but he restrained himself, but it got harder to each time almost as if you were teasing him.

Tell me if I should make a part 2 I'm tired rn

Stay hydrated and safe love Y'all

[thisisntablogspost]

Say You’re Mine - Miniseries

Noah Sebastian x Reader

PART TWO PART THREE

Warning: MDNI! This miniseries contains triggers that may cause a negative effect to the consumer. This includes cheating, forced proximity, toxic dom/sub dynamics, unhealthy relationships, alcohol, coercion, manipulation, unprotected piv (don’t do this). The reader is consenting and allows these things to happen to them.

Authors note: If this isn’t something you don’t want to read please avoid and I’ll catch you on the next one! If I missed any other triggers please, please, please dm me so I can add them. I want you all to be safe when reading my fanfics. Your mental health matters. 🖤

Part One is commencing…are you ready?

You were invited to the Halloween party at the guys house. You didn’t want to go, but Jolly insisted Noah wouldn’t be there. Umm…that’s a lie. He’s right there, talking to a few people you didn’t recognize.

“Ah, fuck” You whisper to yourself, covering your face as if he wouldn’t instantly know who you are. Noah catches a glance of you across the room. Instantly recognizing you. His lips curving into a smirk. He takes you in, his eyes taking over the angel costume that you chose to wear. The wings, the dress that accentuated your body, and the headband with the halo above it. He turned his body towards you, disengaging from his previous conversation. You feel your mouth go dry, how could you not notice his choice of costume. He has the balaclava on, his black trench coat, dark shirt, jeans, and his boots.

You needed to get out of his sight. You dart across the room with quick hellos and goodbyes as your friends walked up to you. You conversed for a few moments then excused yourself. You make your way to the sliding glass door to go out into the back yard. You close it behind you, silence. You let out a breath and tried to calm yourself. You walk over to the patio couches and sit down. You run a hand down your face, taking a deep breath to collect yourself. You groan as your mind wanders, the thoughts that are now only Noah. You lean back on the couch, watching the lights, and listening to the conversations of everyone inside the house.

You run a hand through your hair and check your phone. Ugh, no texts or calls from Ryan. Your boyfriend. He decided last minute to go on a trip without you. Whatever. You roll your eyes, setting your phone down beside you.

“Nice dress”

You freeze. You were so lost in thought you didn’t hear the footsteps come up behind you. Noah. You feel his hands on either side of you on the back of the couch. He’s so close. You let out a whimper. You can smell the faint scent of his cologne.

“Miss me?” He whispers, his voice low and gruff against your neck. You couldn’t speak, your body temperature is rising. You swallow when you hear him snicker behind you.

“I missed you” he said, he was teasing. He always enjoyed teasing you, just to rile you up. A fun little game he so loved to play. Your breathing starts to pick up as he leans closer.

“Look at you trembling beneath me just by my voice did you miss me that badly?” His voice low in your ear, it felt like silk against your skin. You flinch at his words. You’re so weak for him. You try to speak, but only whimpers leave your lips.

“You’re doing terrible at hiding that. I can see you need me. My voice alone has you panting.” He whispers into your ear, his hands coming to your shoulders, rubbing up and down softly. You feel your body tense at his touch. He has you on a silver platter just for him. He slowly turns your neck to the side, allowing himself to see your face. You were a mess already and he loved it. You know he loves seeing this side of you, you being weak to his touch.

“Look at you. So weak for me, you need me” you can only mumble. He chuckles darkly, loving the pathetic little sounds you make.

“I know you need me. I can tell by the way you’re reacting to me. You’re begging to be touch.”

“Please, no. Noah, I have a boyfriend.”

“Please, no? Yet, you’re shaking on this couch. You want me just as much as I want you. You just can’t admit it”

His touch became slightly rougher. A soft rub then he grips your arms, knowing your body was in agony wanting him close to you.

“Does your boyfriend know how weak you are for me?” His words were low, teasing you, knowing your boyfriend had no idea how much control he had over you. It was a toxic cycle that you chose to get out of, but here you are once again under his thumb.

“N-no…sir-Noah I…I..” You didn’t mean to let that slip out. Noah’s hands trail up your arms, through your hair, grabbing a handful and tugs it so you look up at him.

“No, he doesn’t. He doesn’t know how much control I have on your body…does he?”

He smirks. You called him sir, you know that’s what he wanted. The title he made you use when you were together.

“N-No” you wince as he tugs your hair firmly.

“Good, I miss you like this.” You whimper softly. He’s so close, so warm. His touch leaving tingles along your body. He lets go of you, he walks around the couch. He towers over you, his eyes locked on yours. He sits down, lifts you up, and pulls you against his chest. You feel his arousal growing. He moves your hair to the other side of your neck. He places soft kisses along your sensitive skin.

“I missed how soft your skin is, your sounds, you need me. Your body is begging…” he moves his hand down, wrapping an arm around your waist. This was his favorite, having you on his lap, in his control.

“Please..Noah..I”

“You can’t help how your body reacts. You need it, don’t you?” His voice low, against your neck. The slow, torturous kisses and nibbles are driving you insane. You try to get up and away from him. His arm pulling you back, wrapping around your stomach again. Your body reacts with small trembles and shivers.

“Please, Noah..” Another plea, yet you don’t get try to get off his lap.

“Please? You want me to stop or you want me to keep going?” He teases, he knew you didn’t want him to stop. You hate to admit it, but that’s the last thing you wanted, and he could feel it. You missed this just as much as he did.

“It’s not fair to him” you sigh, the guilt in your heart growing with each passing minute.

“What he doesn't know can’t hurt him…” He whispers in your ear. He wasn’t going to give you an out. Your body already giving into him. He could still get what he wanted easily, like it was second nature, and you hate yourself for it. You want to try, you love Ryan. You don’t want to ruin your relationship because of Noah.

“I..I can’t”

“You can’t? What can’t you do?” He asks as he moves his head to your neck, the tips of his fingers dancing along your waist and thighs. You whine, feeling your body reacting to his touch. The thoughts of your body slowly slip from your mind as Noah runs his hands up your body, over your breasts, squeezing and massaging them. He continues to kiss along your neck. You didn’t even notice that he pulled your dress down letting your breasts free. You moan, feeling him gently tug at your nipples as he bites your neck. You gasp, your head falling against his chest.

“Mmm”

“Use your words. Be my good girl…” His words are low, teasing against your ear as his hands make their way along her body. The sensations were overwhelming, you felt like a live wire with each tug and caress.

“Don’t call me that..”

“You want me to stop, yet your body begs for me. You know that you need this. My hands all over your body, making you feel so good.” He whispers, his hand slowly slides up and gently wraps around your neck, just holding it. He’s barely putting any pressure, but enough to make you breathe heavier.

“Ahhh…nnnn…Noah” The begging is starting, the wanting. The feeling of his hand wrapping around your delicate throat makes your core ache for him.

“I missed this…your whimpers…your needy responses”He whispers, slowly tightening his grip, enough to make your breath hitch. He loved seeing how it affects you.

“Mmph”

“I especially missed having you completely at my mercy…” He whispers again, tightening his grip a bit around your throat, loving how your body tensed up at his words. Your hands grab his wrist, his grip tightens.

“You know you need me to please you, to take care of you. Look at how badly you’ve missed my touch.” His hold doesn’t loosen as he speaks. He knew you wanted him. His words, his touch, his control over your body.

“You’re so weak for me….say it…” He whispers. He could hear your breathing quicken and the small whimpers of your begging against his grip. It drove him wild as you were on the edge of needing him.

“I…hate how..weak I am..for you”

“Your body is telling me differently, you need me. I know how bad you’ve missed my hands on you. My voice in your ear, my breath against your skin, you can’t get enough of me, can you?” His voice was low in your ear, he’d let go of your neck, moving his hands slowly down your waist, rubbing slowly, barely touching you.

“What is my body telling you? How am I responding to you?” You are fighting this, fighting against Noah. He is like a forbidden wine you were so desperate to taste once again.

“Your body is giving me your answer…your response is telling me it’s been needy, starved, begging for me to take care of you…it’s so obvious.” His hands gently caress your waist, barely touching you. He knows how much a soft gentle touch can drive you crazy with need.

“D-don’t do that..”

“What? This?” He chuckles, slowly moving his hands to your hips, rubbing slow, gentle circles in the way he knows it gets you going.

“That’s not fair Noah…” your head falls against his chest, he holds you against him. His hands move along down to her thighs, his fingers playing with the hem of her dress.

“You know you like it. You can’t help how your body reacts. You need it, you’ve missed this. You’ve missed me” He purs, slowly moving his hands along her inner thigh, just teasing, knowing it’ll get a reaction from you.

“You don’t know what I need..” You knew better not to challenge him. You needed to not let this happen and it was so getting to the point where you’d be getting on your knees for him.

“I don’t? You clearly need someone to take control of you…make you submit. Make your body react…you’re not over me and you know it.” He whispers in your ear.

“How…how do you know what I’ve been deprived of hmm? He could be doing a better job” You swallow, can’t even finish the sentence without hesitation.

“Than..than..” He laughs darkly at your pathetic attempt.

“Because I know you. I know your body better than yourself, you need me to make you feel good. I know what you want and need better than your own boyfriend does” He squeezes along your inner thigh, knowing how the sensations are stirring up the want and desire within you.

“Don’t..don’t do that” You watch his hands working higher up, just below the hem of your dress.

“Why not? You’re getting so needy for it…I know it feels good” His voice is low, knowing you’ll squirm if he does it again.

“I..”

“You need it. I know you don’t want me to stop. You need me to give you what you want…, to make you submit. You want to be good for me, don’t you?” His nails lightly scratch along your thighs.

“Don’t say that…please” you whine, his hands hike up your dress. You watch as his fingers trail over your underwear. A whimper escapes your lips, he slowly runs circles over your clit. The fabric adding more friction than you want, and it feels so good.

“You can’t help that you’re weak for me…such a needy girl under my hands. Tell me you want to be good. I know how badly you do” He purrs into your ear. He knows exactly how to make you fall apart. His slow circles become more precise, more deliberate. Your hips buck against his hand. He pulls your underwear to the side. You’re absolutely soaked, there’s no hiding it.

“How badly do you want me to finger this cunt?” You can only stutter before he smacks your pussy.

“Tell me or I’ll leave you a fucking mess on this couch.” Another smack, you cry out, grabbing onto his arm. His hand around your throat, holding you in place. His lips right next to your ear.

“Please..please, finger my pussy. Please make me cum.” A growl emits from his chest. His hand finds your entrance, collecting your arousal and smearing over your clit. You writhe at the feeling of his fingers. He lets go of your throat, taking your leg and spreading your legs wider for him. He takes two fingers, inserting them into you. You cry out at the feeling of him working you to a steady pace, his fingers moving in the “come here” motion. You close your eyes for a moment, thinking back to the many times he had you like this. How he made you crumble and fall apart. His fingers, his mouth, his tongue. You whine thinking about it, Noah feels you clench around his fingers.

“You close? Already?” He picks up the pace, holding your leg against your chest. You’re so close you can barely keep it together.

“Yes, I’m close. Fuck..fuck…fuck!”

“You gonna cum, baby? You want me to make you cum, huh? Feels so good.” He cooed in your ear, it’s sending you over the edge. You feel the warmth spreading throughout your body.

“Yes, yes, yes! Gonna..gonna…cum”

“I love how much of a needy mess you are for me…how your body aches for me…” He pulls away, not giving you what you wanted. You were his, and you knew it.

“What…I..I’m..” You get off of him, fixing your dress, then you sit on the couch. You look over at him as he stands up and turns to look down at you with a shit eating grin on his face.

He…denied you. You look up at him growing frustrated and angry. He just got you worked up for nothing, because he knows how weak and pathetic you are for him. You can only stare at him as he stands there so prideful towering over you. There’s more to this…oh fuck…this is just the beginning. You know Noah well enough to know that he’s going to make you crawl back to him.

“For how long do I have to endure you doing this to me?”

“As long as I want…I have you right where I want you…desperate and needy. I’ve missed this…having you underneath my thumb…all mine to tease and torment”

He smirks darkly and pulls your chin up to look at him. He loves how worked up you got for him…what he loved more was that you were now frustrated…and he knew it’d take no time before you melted underneath his touch again.

“You’re evil…you’re a fucking asshole!”

“No doubt there…but you like it”

He chuckles. You could get as angry and frustrated as you’d like…you know the effect he has on your body…and he still knows he’ll be the only one to cause such a response…he’s enjoying this more than he wants to admit…he loves that you’re still at the palm of his hand.

(to be continued)

[lvrgirlrey]

BSD HCS *̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

⋆꙳•̩̩͙ ❅ *̩̩͙‧͙ ⛇⋆☃︎ ‧͙ *̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

𝕤𝕪𝕟𝕠𝕡𝕤𝕚𝕤: how i think BSD characters would be in a relationship!

𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕒𝕔𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤: akutgawa ryuunosuke, osamu dazai, atsushi nakajima

𝔸/ℕ: this is my first actual tumblr post so this might not be my best work :v it was fun making this but it was kinda hard to do it cuz im not really the type of person to make headcanons ;p kudos to the people who can make a bunch of posts in one day! it took me a while just to make this one :,)

ℂ𝕎: this does include NSFW HCS but nothing too crazy! minors proceed with caution!

𝕒𝕜𝕦𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕒𝕨𝕒 𝕣𝕪𝕦𝕦𝕟𝕠𝕤𝕦𝕜𝕖

𝕊𝔽𝕎:

* you were definitely obvious with your hints toward him but started to catch on that you though of him as more than friends

* was so confused when you confessed

* “where did that come from?”

* managed to keep a straight face

* he didn’t want others to know that the two of you were together for at least a month or two

* he is NOT a fan of PDA. no matter the circumstances, he hates PDA always

* would buy you the occasional present like flowers and candy (asked gin for help)

* definitely not the most romantic person; hugs and kisses would feel very foreign to him. he would be okay with just your presence with him

* would never outright ask for something, you would basically have to figure it out on your own

* you’d have to be VERY patient, he’s definitely inexperienced in relationships

* his way of showing affection would be acts of service. buying you tea/coffee, doing chores for you, tending to your injuries after a difficult mission, etc

ℕ𝕊𝔽𝕎:

* a switch. mostly dominant but will not resist when you top him

* not the highest stamina but will absolutely try his hardest for 3+ rounds (can’t blame him for his lung problems)

* is definitely a thigh guy. you’re wearing a short skirt and thigh highs? expect getting absolutely railed later

* he’s an in between a rough/fast paced quickie and slow/sensual love making kinda guy

* very quiet, almost silent. at most does some very heavy breathing while he’s close

* doesn’t have the biggest sex drive but is an absolute nasty dog if he’s been having a stressful day at work

* loves doggy style

* won’t finish until you’ve finished at least once

* willing to give oral but would need a lot of convincing

* not kinky but is still willing to try (probably won’t enjoy it much)

* for aftercare, he would run you both a hot shower to clean you off and cuddle in bed afterwards

𝕠𝕤𝕒𝕞𝕦 𝕕𝕒𝕫𝕒𝕚

𝕊𝔽𝕎:

* knew you liked him from basically the beginning

* he gave off every instance where you were so obviously hinting at something

* everyone in the world would know when you guys started dating because he would NOT keep his mouth shut

* “why would i hide the woman i love from the world?”

* the master of PDA

* his hands are all over you 24/7

* physical touch is his love language

* constant flow of gifts, your desk is always overly crowded by them

* talks everyone’s ears off about you

* absolutely worships the ground you walk on

* loves scaring you half to death constantly

ℕ𝕊𝔽𝕎:

* dominant switch. is ALWAYS in controlled

* the freakiest man alive. kinks, toys, you name it and he’s into it

* an absolute tease. loves laughing on how you look pathetic under him and denies your orgasm so much you nearly pass out

* can go on for round after round after round, 2-3 times a day, 4-5 times a week (this man is an absolute beast)

* a tit man. loves missionary just to see them bouncing for him. just seeing them would make him finish

* loves quickies. before, during, and after missions.

* KNOWS he’s loud. wants you to know how good you make him feel

* spanks. a lot. you can’t sit comfortably after having sex with him

* does NOT play when it comes down to giving oral. is absolutely making you see stars from the moment he starts

* absolutely a “rough and fast” man. constantly hitting the sweet spot every time and will laugh when you ask him to slow down

* aftercare kinda sucks with him.. at most would cuddle after but that’s basically it

𝕒𝕥𝕤𝕦𝕤𝕙𝕚 𝕟𝕒𝕜𝕒𝕛𝕚𝕞𝕒

𝕊𝔽𝕎:

* ABSOLUTELY clueless. did not know you liked him until you told him to his face

* “oh. OH. IS THAT WHY YOU ___?”

* would be a little closed off and reserved at first but slowly open up to you

* not the biggest fan of PDA but would occasionally give you a quick peck if you really wanted it

* gets you gifts but sometimes they’re not the best (he tried that’s all that matters)

* definitely a quality time kinda guy; going out for a walk/dates are his go-to

* the biggest snuggle bug ever; he’s always cuddled up to you in private. in public he’s just always super close to you to the point that he sometimes get in the way

* always rushing to your aid

* dazai teases him because “he looks like a lost puppy, constantly following you around”

* gets you “just because” flowers

* loves head pats

ℕ𝕊𝔽𝕎:

* the most switch of all switches. will dom in the middle of you taking charge

* AN ASS GUY. loves doggy style and reverse cowgirl just to see your ass bouncing off his dick

* unaware of how loud he is. will get looks from the other ADA members because of his volume

* tries out different kinds of kinks every time to make sure he finds one that you both enjoy

* wouldn’t enjoy anything that involved hurting you (slaps, spanks, whips, etc)

* on the contrary, LOVES getting his hair pulled. practically begs for you to pull it every time

* is very sensual when it’s dedicated sex time but for a quickie? might as well become the weretiger because of how feral he gets

* an average sex drive. mostly 2-3 times a week

* aftercare is just getting food after he pounded you

⋆⋅•⋅⊰∙∘⋆ ❆ ⋆∘∙⊱⋅•⋅⋆

again, this is my first actual post so please don’t mind any mistakes/errors! thank you for reading :,D



[adviceformefromme]

💖TRUSTING YOUR INNER VOICE - 3 MONTHS UNTIL 2025 - GLOW UP SERIES [WEEK 12] - 💖

Your life can drastically change in three months, and this is coming from someone who started last October unexpectedly in hospital everyday for three weeks, to then leave London and move back home and share a ROOM with my mom due to space issues and by the end of the whirlwind I finally got to move into my dream ocean view apartment in Europe. ALL WITHIN 3 MONTHS. How did I transform my life? What remained consistent was my inner voice, leading me towards faith and not fear. Being able to hear God’s direction and having the courage to take a leap into the unknown at each twist and turn. So no matter where you start this October, trust and know that miracles are possible, and if you stay true to where you are being guided you will end up exactly where you need to be. 

UNDERSTANDING WHAT VOICE IS GUIDING YOU…

Are you leaning into fear or into faith? Each day, are you sticking to what you know or are you taking risks? Are you using your voice to speak up when you’re usually quiet? Are you still remaining true to your vision despite not seeing the results in the 3D? Are you trying to control situations feeling anxious and stuck, or are you remaining trusting and faithful to the visions God has placed in your heart? If you find fear is guiding your life, your TRANSFORMATION is going to a struggle, there is going to be friction, and this is where you need to get out of your own way. God wants to move you somewhere you’ve never been, you’ve been doing your vision boards, affirmations, praying, reading, trying your very best to LEVEL-TF-UP, and STILL feeling stuck…and this is because your inner voice is holding you hostage to what you’ve known, to the old version of you, the expired version. These next 12 weeks are for tuning into a different frequency, to locking into God’s direction and here are the steps…

1] You need to meditate to create space in your mind to hear the voice that wants to lead you to your highest potential. It’s always there waiting for you to listen, in order to HEAR you need SPACE.. and to get space you need to meditate. The aim is 20 mins per day, if you’re already comfortable with this aim for 1 hour. I know this might sound like a scary amount of time to sit in silence but think how easily you can spend 20 mins on social media doom scrolling…Do you want to GLOW-UP or do you want to stay stuck? This is what you need to ask yourself daily…But please walk before you run, here is 10 mins meditation that is simple and transformative and will 100% allow you mental space so you can slowly throughout the day start to hear your inner voice - God speaking to you. 

2] Tune out of negativity (the news, low vibration music, gossip, scrolling through peoples highlight reel) and tune into high vibes… Listening to high vibes is going to move you energetically into a new space. There will be more peace and positivity. The high vibes include, morning motivation on YouTube find one that empowers you, cleansing your social media accounts of anything negative or deleting it full stop while you’re on your glow up journey. Listening to binaural beats, gospel, or anything that has empowering lyrics that lift you up. 

3] Once you have removed the low vibes you also want SILENT vibes, this means going for a walk without your phone. Waking up and not checking your phone for 1 hour, having as many moments of silence as possible, and this is when you will start to hear. You might hear negativity in your mind at first, it might be overbearing, the voice might be telling you how stupid you are, how pathetic you are, but PERSEVERE. Get curious on why you have this negativity in your mind, journal on what was coming up for you, you want to clear out the negativity so you can hear the inner wisdom that is waiting to flow in. 

4] PRAY FOR GUIDANCE. If you don’t have the direction, you are wanting to transform your life and don’t know what the next steps are, I promise you the moment you start praying and asking is the moment you receive the answers. It will come in the form of conversations, YouTube content creators will appear in your feed, you will have thoughts, dreams, a book will fall of a shelf, there will be direction from above. God wants to help you, you just have to ask and listen clearly for the answers. They will appear.

A little story time of my 3 month transformation from last October - December and how I completely transformed my life in that time…

Until next week, stay in your faith, your journal and remain hopeful that this time things are going to be different. Your transformation is in progress.

[obey-me-disaster]

Hey there! How’s it going? If I may, can I request some headcaons on the obey me brothers trying to seduce MC? Please and thank you!

These guys have to literally take a 'seductive speechcraft' class at RAD, in theory they should be good at seducing, in practice not so much

Warning: slightly NSFW

Obey me brothers trying to seduce MC

Lucifer

He keeps it simple. He doesn't see the point of doing complicated mind games when he knows that MC will choose him. That's not to say he won't try to win MC over or make them feel special.

Between Lucifer encouraging MC to be bolder when it comes to their advances and his confidence there isn't anything that could go wrong, in his mind at least.

He is often assertive in a way that would make MC feel like being swooped off their feet while still leaving room for them to refuse. He will make sure they know he will take care of all of their desires.

He often invites them over, either to his study room or the music room to spend some time alone together where he can be more forward.

Mammon

Mammon is really smooth when it comes to flirting and seducing, just not when it comes to MC.

He is too caught up between being a tsundure and just being genuinely worried about making them uncomfortable by being too forward. Still, after a while he will get over some of his worries, he is MC's first man after all!

He is one of the most sought after models in the entire Devildom, he knows how to use his looks in his favour and how to get people's attention, especially MC's.

With how much time he spends with them, Mammon knows how to make MC feel like they are the only person that matters to him and to make them think about only him.

That also includes what words to say and in what way too touch them. Still, he always leaves it up to MC to decide if they want to take it further. He will let them take control so they could go at their own pace.

Leviathan

Tries to think of it like MC is a love interest in a video game, otherwise he would never be able to do it.

Tries to kabedon MC and it works at first, until he realizes how close the two of them are and panics.

Depending on the MC, his cringefail personality and being borderline pathetic and endearing at the same time would probably do the trick and seduce them imeanitworkedonme

Still, he has his moments where he can be more dominant! Especially if it would be in a virtual world, where he is more in his element. Sure, he would still be nervous but he would actually manage to flirt with MC.

To add to the previous point, he actually did that in a devilgram, where he lowered one of the sits in the car and told MC he could be in charge too.

Also I am sure he has at least 3 slutty cosplays. All he needs is a little bit of courage and he could use them.

Satan

A really by the book approach, the type of thing you would see in books. He has a lot of connections but most of them were not made by seducing other demons.

His attempts would be a bit awkward at first, feeling a little bit too stiff, but after observing to what MC responds the best he will start to get better at it.

Does MC respond better to words? Well he doesn't have high grades in seductive speechcraft for nothing. He knows how to get MC wrapped around his finger. Starting from innocent remarks to comments that would leave MC's imagination run wild.

Do they like physical touches more? He may be a little bit more awkward but nothing that MC would notice.

He is probably experimenting with new feelings too, cause seducing MC, someone he actually fell for, is way more different than his normal seductive speechcraft.

Asmodeus

Literally the best, that's his whole thing. Sure he has his eyes to help him, but he has been a lust demon for a long time, he knows how to seduce someone without magic. And like Mammon, he knows how to use his body to get other people's attention towards him and his body.

Has the best combination of lingering touches that just leave you wanting for more and of words the can be left up for interpretation, really making MC think that they want Asmo even without all the seduction.

He knows just from looking at MC's slightest change of reactions when to stop or when to push forward. He knows how far he can go with exploring their body without ruining the sexual tension. He would get them so riled up that MC would be the one initiating anything. In his mind he is just giving them a little push.

He also loves to tease them throughout the day only to disappear, leaving them wanting for more. He doesn't need to even see to know that he is all they can think about.

Beelzebub

I will be sincere, I don't think he really knows how to seduce people in the traditional sense. He would probably seduce MC by accident.

He would just call them in order to record his workout routine and when MC would get there he would be shirtless and sweaty, and they would have to sit behind a camera filming a shirtless Beel literally flexing his muscle

He would also lick food right off MC if they happened to drop some on themself. He literally licked wiped cream off MC's fingers in season 2.

He does all of these things by accident, and while he may be oblivious and not the best at seducing he isn't dumb. He will see how MC reacts and will start doing these things more often.

He would probably make them help him with his workout so MC could really get close to him to see and touch his muscles. post work out sex I am just saying

Belphegor

He really takes advantage off all the time cuddling with MC to see how far he can go when it comes to touching them, while still making sure they are comfortable.

It starts either with a hug from behind when MC is doing something else or with simple cuddles. His hands will start to wonder just slightly under their shirt or just barely over their thighs all while trying too see their reaction.

Everything he would say would be done so either with his face in the crook of their neck or as a whisper near MC's ear. It probably just be normal stuff at first, but the more he sees MC get into it the more he will start going about what he would actually want to do with them.

It's a really slow process but the little shit knows how to use his words and from what started as innocent cuddles it leads to MC doing nearly whatever he wants.

I also feel like he would go into their dreams and try to seduce them there too. This would led to MC having to seek Belphie out once they wake up from that dream.

[flowerandblood]

The Knight & The Judge Epilogue

[ modern Frollo • Aemond x Esmeralda • female ]

[ warnings: sex content, handjob, smut, angst, description of physical and mental disabilities, swearing, mention of sexual assault, an accident with fatalities and trauma ]

[ description: A few months pass since the events that changed his life, and his Esmeralda, despite her earlier decisions, chooses to continue taking care of Daeron. Aemond attends therapy, his condition improves and their bond gives him strength, still, however, he does not know, despite how much he loves her, what their relationship is. Obsession, self-destructive behavior, sexual tension, pathetic, devastated Aemond. ]

Author’s note: This story is a request, but I decided to freely use what I liked in the book and Disney film to create a new, disturbing story taking place in modern times. It is intended to be uncomfortable and will contain scenes that are at least morally questionable, in my version “Esmeralda” is not Romanian. This story will also include motifs from Jane Eyre, which was a separate request. My story will also touch on the problems of people with disabilities, so if these are sensitive topics for you, I advise against reading further. You have been warned.

Part 1 − The Knight & The Judge Part 2 − The Sin & The Penance Part 3 − The Doubt & The Delight

Main Characters Moodboard Aemond NSFW Alphabet

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

My other works: Masterlist

_____

He had to clench his lips to keep anything more than grunts from coming out of them as he watched how, with quick, sure thrusts of his hips, he spread her slick folds wide open on his fat cock with loud slaps of skin against skin, his palms digging into the wonderfully soft structure of her hot buttocks, feeling her throbbing around him faster and faster.

He sighed when she cried out loudly as he added his hand between her thighs, his fingers finding her puffy clit, sore from previous caresses of his tongue − although they both tried not to make any noise knowing that Daeron was watching a movie downstairs, the treatments of his fingertips caused an involuntary whimper of delight to come from her lips.

"− no, baby − quiet − shhh, I know, we're almost there −" He murmured tenderly, leaning down, his hand sinking into her soft dark hair, pressing her face against the pillow, careful not to make it hard for her to breathe, wanting to muffle her moans.

"− grab my hand if you want me to stop −" He breathed out, quickening his pace, pounding into her so fast that he tilted his head back in pleasure, but her hand did not grab his wrist, her fingers tightened on the pillow on either side of her head instead, her fleshy walls began to clench around his cock in orgasm, sucking him inside, he felt her moisture begin to run down his thighs with her helpless whine of relief.

"− thaat's it − thaat's it, babygirl − fuck −" He mumbled as he let go at last, panting hard, feeling his warm seed spill deep inside her − for a moment his mind was stunned with pleasure, his body trembled from the hot sensation that flowed in waves through his body, his hand let go of her hair and she turned her head to the side, breathing loudly.

"− are you all right? − I'm sorry, he really could hear us −" He whispered, leaning lower, laying on top of her gently, placing a tender, warm, wet kiss on her neck, stroking her bare shoulder with his broad hand.

"− I know − it's me who's sorry −" She muttered. He let his breath out loudly with a smirk, shaking his head, sinking his face into her fragrant hair.

"− do you need anything? − can we stay like this for a while? −" He asked, not wanting to slip out of her yet, just dreaming of taking a nap cuddled up against her naked body, missing her so much for the two days she hadn't been home with them.

"− yes − but we shouldn't leave him alone for too long −" She whispered, and he hummed under his breath, agreeing with her.

"− will you stay overnight? −" He asked quietly, running his fingers up and down her naked body, feeling goosebumps appear in the places he touched.

"− yes −"

They returned to Dareon after several minutes, his younger brother accustomed to them disappearing occasionally to talk, watching quietly with contentment his favourite part of Star Wars.

"Have you discussed everything yet?" He asked lightly, putting his hand to the rustling popcorn, trying to get a full handful of it into his mouth, glancing at them out of the corner of his eye. He chuckled, sitting down next to him on the couch, watching his Esmeralda went to pour herself some water dressed in his black T-shirt and shorts.

He loved this view.

He scratched his cheek with his thumb trying not to think about the fact that at the mere memory of what he was doing to her just now he felt like taking her upstairs again.

"Yeah, buddy. All set." He grumbled, spreading himself out comfortably and sighing quietly, exhausted − their gazes met as she raised a glass of water to her lips and lowered her gaze, embarrassed and insecure. He swallowed loudly at the sight, feeling a squeeze in his heart.

It seemed to him that something was going on with her lately − she was sadder than usual and drifted away with her thoughts. On top of that, recently she was the one who had been grabbing his hand and guiding it between her thighs, demanding his caresses. There was something desperate about it and although he had asked her many times if everything was okay, she always answered him that it was.

He knew he had no right to ask her anything.

They were not together and he would never have dared to suggest it, fearing rejection.

He kept telling her how much he loved her and he could see in her gaze, feel in her embrace and in the touch of her hand that she also had feelings for him, albeit complicated and painful ones.

His prosecutorial nature insisted in his mind that he should start investigating, that he should start following her, that perhaps someone was nagging her, her professor or a colleague, but fearing his intervention she did not want to tell him anything.

He knew, however, that if she found out he was doing something behind her back she would not forgive him.

He couldn't help himself however − one day, while she and Daeron were sitting on the patio talking to each other by the sliding glass door, he went out to prepare the meat they were going to grill for lunch, according to their plan spending the afternoon in the garden. He came back because he had forgotten the tray, but stopped at the wall when he heard the question Daeron had asked her.

"Have you forgiven my brother? For what he did to you back then." He asked uncertainly. He heard her shift restlessly in her wicker chair, probably looking away to see if he was anywhere near them. She sighed quietly.

"I've done him wrong too. He's trying really hard. I know he's not like that every day. That I'm important to him and that he really cares about me." She said softly, her voice trembling slightly as she spoke the words.

He closed his eyes, feeling a tightness in his throat, swallowing with difficulty at the thought that he felt pain and relief at the same time, that she recognised his efforts, that she knew he wasn't lying when he spoke about how much he cared for her.

"I've been thinking about it a lot. About why he hurt you. And I think he did because he never shouted at me. He never got angry with me even when I cried for hours. I think if he shouted at you then or hit you it was because he missed our mum and dad too. Because he couldn't cope with it and our eldest brother didn't take care of him like he did me.

Before you showed up on the first day he was very afraid that you would be late or not come. That he would leave me with you and you would hurt me. I remember his hands were shaking when he had his coffee in the morning. He told me not to trust you and that if you just did something I didn't like, I should call him. I think it was all because I wanted to dance."

His brother muttered, and he just stood there stunned with his mouth wide open, breathing hard, feeling tears burning under his eyelids at the thought that he thought he was hiding everything that was going on inside him well, and Daeron had seen it all anyway, but as a child he couldn't comprehend what was really happening to him.

I think if he shouted at you then or hit you it was because he missed our mum and dad too.

He covered his face with his hand, stifling a sob at the thought that he thought he had just shouted at her or hit her, that he hadn't even assumed what had really happened between them.

He was horrified at how long she had not responded, and once he heard her voice he felt a piercing pain in his lower abdomen at the thought that she was crying too, unable to catch her breath.

"I...Daeron, this had and has nothing, nothing to do with you. This is our adult business, okay? It's very complicated." She muttered wearily, and he swallowed heavily, trying to calm his ragged breathing, clenching his eyelids tightly.

Whatever he would do, it would always come back to them.

"I heard him tell you he loved you. I know he said it to you because when I knocked on his room he said he was talking to you on the phone." Said his younger brother, clearly trying to get to the point of starting this whole conversation and topic at all.

"Are you two going to be together?"

Silence.

Never before in his life had he been so afraid, never had he suffered so much, never had he felt so alone and desperate as when he waited for her answer.

"Don't you love him?" Daeron asked quietly after a moment, as if he was afraid his brother would accidentally hear them. "You can tell me, it's not a bad thing. I'll keep a secret."

He heard her sobbing, heard her uneven, loud breathing, the fact that she was falling apart, that he was the cause of her eternal heartbreak and suffering.

"I'm afraid to be with him. I'm afraid to name it. As long as I don't agree, he can't hit me again and yell at me. The distance makes me feel like I'm in control of the situation, that I can disappear at any time and not explain myself. That it won't hurt me when I bore him. Do you understand?" She asked him quietly, his brother swallowed loudly.

"Are you afraid of my brother?" He whispered frightened, heard her draw in the air loudly, sniffling.

"I'm scared of what he's doing to me. I think I'm getting addicted to him, like people get addicted to alcohol or drugs." She muttered, and he took a few steps back, feeling tear after tear run down his face.

He didn't run when he heard her rise from her seat as she entered the house, clearly wanting to go quickly to the bathroom − she jumped when she spotted him standing against the wall, her eyes and mouth wide open in disbelief and horror.

"− Aemond −" She mumbled, and he swallowed loudly and grunted, walking over to the countertop, getting back to work.

"The meat will be ready soon."

He heard her stand still, her breathing loud, unsure of what to do, understanding perfectly well that he'd heard everything they'd said.

She didn't love him.

She was just addicted to him.

He thought dispassionately that he was like a stimulant that was destroying her life, not allowing her to live in another healthy relationship.

He heard her moving ahead after a while, locking herself in the toilet, heard her loud sobbing, his palms shaking all over as he cut the meat, tears one by one dripping onto the wooden board beneath his hands.

They spent the evening as they had planned, pretending nothing had happened, Daeron telling them about a new game he really wanted to play and a new cartoon he was watching.

In the night he locked himself sooner in his bedroom, feeling that he couldn't be around her, remorse and self-pity prevented him from breathing or functioning.

He shuddered, feeling the quick pounding of his heart as he heard the quiet creak of his door as usual an hour later − he heard her footsteps, felt her body lay behind him on his bed, sliding up over his duvet, felt her hand on his stomach.

He clenched his eyelids as his cock immediately twitched aggressively in this trousers, all swollen.

They lay like that for a while − he could feel her warm breath on his neck, her breasts hidden behind his Tshirt snuggled into his back, her fingers trailing from his sternum to his lower abdomen making shivers run through him.

He found with despair that he had become achingly hard from just her closeness.

"− I'm sorry −" She whispered finally; he shuddered all over and swallowed quietly as her soft, warm lips placed a gentle kiss on his shoulder. "− I didn't mean it −"

He did not reply.

He heard her trembling sigh, her body nestled into his from behind, the way he always used to do.

He felt a single, lonely tear run down the side of his face onto the pillow.

All he was able to manage was to breathe, his heart pounding like mad.

"− you have taken deep root in my heart − you grow in it like an oak tree in my garden full of flowers − and even though I did not want it, I have found cooling in its shade, shelter from the rain under its leaves, from its wood things are made that last −" She whispered and he felt his whole body tremble.

He imagined her, her flower garden and himself.

A great, spreading tree.

"− this is not what my garden was supposed to be − I only wanted flowers in it − but now, when I look at this tree from the window of my house, at its thick trunk, its green, beautiful leaves in summer, yellow and red in autumn, I am glad that I let it grow −" She said softly, her lips again placed a kiss on his neck as her hand slid lower. A broken, helpless moan broke from his throat as he felt her fingers tighten on his swollen, aching manhood, squeezing him with sure up and down strokes.

"− I − mghmm −" He mumbled out, horrified by how pleasurable this was, by the fact that this might be the last time he would see her, by the fact that he no longer knew himself what she felt for him, what would be better for them, what he should want for himself, when all he desired was for her to simply be by his side.

He wanted her to take care of him.

Not out of revenge, not out of lust.

He needed her.

"− I know − easy − I want to take care of you −" She whispered tenderly, in the way he'd dreamed of since he'd met her. He felt heat in his lower abdomen and heart, his hips involuntarily beginning to respond to her movements with rocking, his tip all swollen and sticky with his precum, pulsing in her embrace.

"− please − inside you −" He gasped out and she let go of him, letting him turn to face her − he grabbed her in his arms and pressed his face against her soft, plump breasts hidden beneath his t-shirt. He lifted the material quickly above her thighs, sighing in relief, feeling that she wasn't wearing underwear − she threw her leg over his waist, the fat, pink head of his cock easily forced its way between her slick, hot, plushy folds.

"− f-fuck −" He cried out, tightening his fingers on her back, snuggling into her like a small, frightened child, pounding into her with quick, sure thrusts of his hips, seeking refuge deep inside her, in the only place where he felt safe.

"− I love you − I love you − I love you − please, don't leave me −" He mumbled into her chest, choking on his own tears − her fleshy muscles clenched against him at his words, sucking him inside, his thighs slapping against her buttocks with a loud click of her moisture. He felt her fingers comb through his hair, cuddling him tighter into her, her lips placing a warm kiss on the top of his head.

"− it's too late for me anyway − I'll never be free of how much I want you −" She exhaled with a kind of relief, as if she'd been wanting to get it out of her for a long time, as if she'd finally come to terms with the fact that they were doomed to each other not because they'd decided to, but because, for some reason, they fit together like two parts of a whole.

Her hips responded to his pushes, his hand clamping down hard on her hot, soft buttocks, forcing her to let him in deeper, slamming into her so fast that he was no longer sliding out with a loud slaps of naked skin.

"− oh, baby, fuck, fuck, fuck −" He gasped out loud, for the first time being so vocal and helpless in bed, more so than when she was riding him, more so ever in his life, feeling that he no longer had the strength to pretend that he wasn't tired, that he wasn't disappointed, that he wasn't crying during the night when she wasn't next to him, that he was coping with the fact that he'd hurt the woman he'd loved so much the first day he'd really met her.

He felt her orgasm, her body arching back in shock at how intense the sensation was, soaking him wet, her palms clenching on his back, responding to his thrusts with the rocking of her hips for a moment longer, sweet, helpless moans of pleasure coming from her lips.

"− I want to have a family with you − to have children with you −" He muttered with relief as he felt the heat spill over his lower abdomen when he finally came inside her, delighted that she was letting him feel herself again, that he was deep inside her, inside his safe place, inside his home. He heard her sigh softly.

"− one day −"

[operator-report]

In middle school, I read a short story for English class called Flowers for Algernon. Maybe you’ve read it, too. In the story, a disabled man named Charlie is given a medicine that cures his disability. Over the course of the story, he comes to realize that his “cure” is temporary and that he will “regress” into being disabled again. The story makes it clear that this is a tragedy. As a disabled teenager when I first read it, the story affected me deeply.

I’d like to talk about David and Noelle. 

Content warnings for discussion of suicide, self-harm, ableism and eating disorders below the cut. Spoilers for Worm through arc 27. 

When I was first reading arc 18, one of the things that stuck out to me is how much time the story spends on Eidolon. For me, it was the first time I paid much attention to him - prior to that, Eidolon was just an extremely powerful background character to me. But in arc 18, we learn that (1) Eidolon is losing his powers and (2) he believes that fighting Echidna will allow him to tap into some sort of reservoir to bring them back.

We find this out, of course, through Tattletale exposing him, which is always an extremely embarrassing event for Tattletale’s target. It makes it extremely clear that what Eidolon is doing is pathetic. He is going to kill a teenage girl so he can feel something. 

Which would be messed up enough, right? We don’t need to make this even worse, right? Wrong. Because Wildblow has spent the last several thousand words building up the Case 53s as X-Men style metaphors for oppressed groups, and one of the forms of oppression that Wildblow generally writes well is ableism. I think you can consider most, if not all of the Case 53s as disabled in some way. I think the link is extremely clear with Noelle.

Noelle doesn’t get her powers from traditional Cauldron human experimentation - at least, not directly. Instead, she and Krouse are facing what is, to them, a no-win scenario. They’re quarantined with limited access to medical care. Breaching this quarantine would permanently render them criminals. If Noelle survives her surgery, which is a pretty big if, she’ll become disabled, in a way that both Krouse and Noelle agree is ugly and undesirable. She won’t be able to do “boyfriend-girlfriend stuff” because she won’t be “any good to look at, after.” 

Krouse and Noelle are terrified of death, yes, but they’re also terrified of disability. They are desperate for control over Noelle’s body, control that, as of that moment, only the state has. (Remember the quarantine?) Krouse pressures Noelle into drinking the vial. Noelle is cured. 

Noelle’s cure does not last. In attempting to assert control, her body becomes uncontrollable. Her body is her trauma and her eating disorder made literal. She still needs care.

Worm would be bad if this is why her life sucks. But Worm does something better, instead. Noelle goes through hell, not just due to the sheer difficulty of having her power, but because of the way her teammates and Coil treat her. They talk about Noelle like she’s already dead. They’re ashamed of bringing her the food she needs. When Krouse “includes” Noelle in a discussion in arc 12, it’s mostly perfunctory. They do not believe Noelle is human any longer. They lock her away.

Noelle doesn’t want to be put in a cage. Noelle doesn’t want to be dehumanized. In interlude 18, when we get insight into Noelle’s thoughts, we learn that what Noelle is angry about is the fact that Krouse locked her in a concrete bunker and placated her. When she tells people not to look at her, there’s a coda to that sentence that she doesn’t get to verbalize: don’t look at me like that. 

This is the person who Eidolon is going to kill. 

Via the Simurgh, this is a person Eidolon has unknowingly created.

A few thousand words of Worm go by. It’s Gold Morning. Eidolon is fighting Scion. Now, at the end of the book, we finally get substantial insight into David, the man behind the mask. 

David takes a Cauldron vial to cure his disability. David sees this as the only way out, after an unsuccessful application to join the military, and then, an unsuccessful suicide attempt. David is bearing an immense amount of shame and internalized ableism. David is worried that father’s friends are watching him. (Don’t look at me.) David cleaves the world into two kinds of people: those who can have jobs, who are liked and respected because they are useful; and people like him, who are useless.

It’s a terrible way to think. Without that worldview, how could a person not take the vial? David wants to be used, because David wants to be useful. He never gets the independence he craves – not when he’s in that level of debt to Cauldron – but he gets to be useful, and that’s one of the best things you can be.

Like Noelle’s, like Charlie’s in Flowers, David’s cure doesn’t work. His abilities are wearing off. He is essentially told, when Doctor Mother administers his booster shots, that his medicine is too expensive. 

Cauldron creates Noelle. David, as Cauldron’s soldier, has a role to play in her creation. David knows exactly what he is doing to Noelle. It happened to him. Worm fandom talks a lot about David being a father. He’s a father in more ways than one. (David’s father is always watching him.) (Don’t look at me.)

Cauldron never cures David’s ableism. In his world, you can be useful, or you can die. David asks Noelle if she wants to win. Noelle tells him no. You can have a job, or you can kill yourself. When David tries to kill Noelle to help himself, isn’t that a mercy?

Of course it isn’t. It goes without saying that all of this is extremely fucked up. When it comes to disability, “cure” is a complicated concept. I’m not going to get into all the ways it can be treated; this post is already a thousand words long. But I do think that Worm, through Noelle and David and the concept of the Cauldron vial, provides an extremely vivid picture of the problems with cure. 

Under ableist logic, when you have a disability, a cure is something you’re expected to want. Without it, the story goes, you can’t be useful. You can’t do boyfriend-girlfriend stuff. The expectation is social, like the act of staring. Your desire for it should drive how you organize your life – it is control, like a quarantine. David is crushed by that expectation. He throws his lot in with Cauldron, the cure-makers. The expectation is passed along to Noelle, and even though David can recognize that inheritance, he cannot imagine any other way to respond to it other than attempted murder.

At the beginning of this post, I mentioned that Flowers for Algernon is a tragedy. The reason that story has stuck with me so long is that I keep going back and forth as to why. Is it a tragedy because Charlie goes back to being disabled? There’s a good chance that’s what the author intended. I don’t know. It would be a pretty shitty story if that were the case. Is it a tragedy because people only treat Charlie well when he’s “cured,” and when that stops, he’ll go back to abuse? Seems plausible. I don’t think there’s one right answer. Regardless, when you’re disabled, there’s an immense pressure to seek out a cure, and a cognizable loss when it is withheld. The fact that Worm captures that social pressure and social loss so well is extremely compelling for me, and I’m going to be thinking about these characters for a long time.

[l1tw1ck]

Short for Bottom ftm Stu x top male reader?

Reader will do anything to keep his life which includes fucking stu and if it satisfies him, he’ll let the reader live. The readers crying, begging for his life while he fucks stu and rubs his clit and nipples trying anything to convince him to spare his life?

bottom!ftm Stu x top!masc reader

☆ AFAB Language Used ☆

CW: Non-Con, Dacryphilia

You had no other choice. What other option did you have when he threatened you with your life? You have too much to live for and you certainly don't want to be stabbed to death. You would do anything to save your life, even though you don't want to do it.

Stu holds back his moans to keep you scared, the chaotic grin on his face is the only indication that he's enjoying this and you assume it's only because of how pathetic and desperate you are right now. You could die at any given moment, how could you not be?

“Please don't kill me–!” You beg, hot tears falling onto Stu’s face. “I won't tell anyone, I swear!” Your thrusts are sloppy and inconsistent thanks to the fact that your body’s practically unstable from crying so hard. You have people you love, you can't die like this. You're horrified that you won't be able to satisfy him, you’re a virgin for God’s sake, you know next to nothing about pleasing another person. The most you know is that the clit and nipples are sensitive. You move your head over to his chest and lick his nipple experimentally. You can feel Stu tightening around you and you assume that's a good thing so you keep going. You bring your hand over to his pussy and blindly search for his clit. Since you can't see, you take a lucky guess and rub circles around what you rightfully assume is his clit. Stu lets a moan slip out, unintentionally telling you that you're doing well.

You pull away and more tears fall down your cheeks, tears of joy and relief. “Does that feel good?” You ask shakily. Stu decides to stop hiding it and nods, more moans escaping his lips. “Thank God-” You keep going, hoping he’ll come soon and you’ll be freed.

Stu rolls his head back and comes, bringing you the relief you so desperately needed. You stop but before you can pull out he stops you. “I'm gonna keep you.” He smirks, pulling your shirt collar and bringing you into a kiss. Your heart drops. What does that mean? Will he kidnap you or will he keep doing this over and over? Either way, you’re terrified.

[lemotmo]

Dear god in heaven I loathe these people. Go away! Also I desperately, desperately need that phone call thing to be canon. But I love both scenarios. They feel true to both characters.

Q. I need you to be so serious. The conversation that needs to take place that you all and the show don't want to acknowledge is that Tommy made Evan. Before he started dating Tommy he was a spoiled, immature, narcissistic brat. In other words he was Buck. Tommy made him more compassionate. More thoughtful. More mature and confident in his own skills and abilities. Buck was an insignificant little boy. Evan is an accomplished capable man. The show is trying to revert him back into Buck. You all should be disgusted.

Q. If you could write it, how would you write Buck and Eddie each having their recognition moment? Do you think they'll both have their moment at the same time or separately?

A. To the first anon, what the actual fuck? Tell me you haven't watched a single second of this show that didn't include your walking piece of shit without telling me you haven't bothered to watch any part of the actual show. At some point being this stupid has to be painful. I mean it cannot be possible to be this fucking stupid without some kind of physical pain. Is this Lou's latest take? Are these his new marching orders since the pathetic hashtag stunt went completely ignored? I'm not going to waste my time explaining all the ways you're wrong about Buck. But I will be happy to tell you that the only thing Tommy did was introduce him to dick. That's it. That was Tommy's purpose. To make Buck aware that he is also attracted to men. But do you really want to know who helped Buck grow up a bit? It was meeting Eddie and Christopher. Becoming a part of their lives, and having a relationship with Christopher that involves some level of parenting. Abby, Eddie, Christopher and the family Buck made at the 118. Those are the people that helped shape Buck into the man he is today. Tommy had nothing to do with making Buck the person he is. Being bisexual is not why Buck is the person he is. Your sexuality is not what makes you a good or bad person. Tommy introduced Buck to his attraction to men. And while that is significant in its own way it has nothing whatsoever to do with who Buck is as a person. Tommy is gay and a prick. But he's not a prick because he's gay. He's a prick because he scolded a grown man for having the audacity to be nervous while on his first date with a man. He's a prick for making a closet joke in front of that nervous man's best friend. He's a prick for leaving that same confused man alone on a curb. He's a prick for calling his boyfriend Evan, even though everyone knows he doesn't like to be associated with that name. He's a prick for not knowing after 6 months that his boyfriend doesn't like basketball. He's a prick because he's racist and sexist. He's a prick because he led a woman on for years and when he dumped her and broke her heart he made fun of the way she tried to help herself heal. None of that is because he's gay. It's because he's just not a good guy. He and Lou seem to have that in common. Great taste you've got there.

To the second anon, thank you for the ask and the opportunity to hijack the first anons ask to talk about Buddie. I actually really like that question and I know we all kind of wanted this big dramatic near death feelings realization, and while we still may get that in some way, it's looking more likely that it won't be quite that dramatic. I do think Eddie is the one we actually need to see have some kind of moment in the mid season finale though. If it's not going to be a nde then I like the idea of the episode ending with Eddie and Buck at Eddie's house. Maybe they had several close calls throughout the episode and Eddie has decided to go get Christopher so he and Buck are just relaxing and hanging out before Eddie leaves. They are clearly choosing to frame whatever realization Eddie needs to come to around him allowing himself joy and finding joy for himself so I think that would carry over into any kind of Buck feelings. I also don't think they will have him say he's gay. I think they will frame it as a Buck thing. So if he's decided to go get Christopher he's feeling hopeful and a little nervous in that moment. Maybe Buck is still feeling a little down and a little in his own head. I like the idea of another voice over at the end of the episode about choosing your people and the universe bringing you your person even if you aren't quite ready for them yet. Maybe in an effort to try to cheer Buck up Eddie says something along the lines of 'it really does help' and Buck kind of smiles and says something like 'you promise'? And we see them look at each other and Eddie turns music on and we see them get up and just dance around Eddie's living room. We see them carefree and laughing and just simply enjoying the company of one another. For Eddie it can be as simple as that. He can stop and ask Buck to come with him to get Christopher. Buck would ask him if he's sure and Eddie could simply say something like 'yeah I'm choosing my joy'. It doesn't have to be any kind of verbal declaration. It can be something that soft and just for them but the audience would know. That's all it would take.

Now if I was writing it for Buck I would still have them at Eddie's house at the end of the episode and I would still have Eddie decide to go get Christopher. They would still have had the close calls of the day so maybe Buck is just hyper aware of himself in that moment and he and Eddie are sitting close on the couch and Buck can comment on how much lighter Eddie looks than he has the last several months. And we see a flicker of something pass across Buck's face. I still want a voice over but maybe this one would be about choosing to get off the familiar path and deciding to take the path that is unknown but holds the possibility of something greater. I would want the camera to pan to Buck's phone and the audience to see that Tommy is calling him. I would want the voice over to say something like the familiar path is tempting because there are no unknowns that way. We know what happens on the familiar path that's why we usually take it. Then I want Buck to see that Tommy is calling him and the voice over to say something like so do we take the path we know or do we make the brave choice. Do we take the unknown path the path that can hurt us in unimaginable ways but the path that also holds the most amazing potential. And Eddie can ask him 'who is it'? And we see Buck take a deep breath, smile to himself, dismiss the call and say 'just a wrong number'. Again that tells the audience everything we need to know. Buck removing himself from the hamster wheel and choosing the new path. I love the idea of the wrong number analogy for Buck's realization.

Both ways are simple and fitting for them and would tell the audience exactly where the story is going. Their history has done all the groundwork for them. Their realizations don't have to be any bigger than that for the audience to know what's coming. 💗

Thank you Nonny!

For the sake of my sanity and patience I have decided to only focus on the second question and answer. I can't cope with these people and their delusional thinking anymore. I'm trying to ignore as much as a I can of their drivel.

So I'll go right to my positive place and tell you all that I have already mentally started manisfesting Ali's wonderful Buddie speculations two days ago when she shared one of them. I figured I would get a head start and then it actually might come true.

After all, it worked with the BT breakup. 😋

IMPORTANT! Please don't repost this ask and/or a link that leads straight to my Tumblr account on Twitter or any other social media. Thank you!

Heads up! For anyone who is giving me the shifty eyes for reposting Ali's updates instead of reblogging. Read this.

Remember, no hate in comments, reblogs or inboxes. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of Ali’s posts, you can find all of her posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[unicorncornflakes]

Summer Isles - Modern!Aemond x Reader | Modern!Aegonx Reader | Chapter 3

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter (As soon as posible)

Paring: Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Summary: After two years in the Summer Isles, Aemond returns from his international stay during his doctorate ready to be with the girl he left Westeros for.

Tags: Alternate Universe – Modern/ Setting Emotional Hurt/ Comfort/ Drama & Romance/ Eventual Smut.

Warnings: Not at this moment, maybe later :P This is the best I can write these days, sorry :( I have realised during my ausence that this is a Aegon x Reader too, so...

General Tag-List (If you wanna be tagged in thi series or all of my work, let me know): @thedamewithabook @bluevxnus @hiddencurator @tempt-ress @watercolorskyy @tsujifreya @qyburnsghost @thetrueblackheart

Tag-List for this series (If you wanna be tagged in thi series or all of my work, let me know): @snh96 @zenka69 @darkenchantress

Author´s note: Pls, enjoy! Feedback, shares and comments are always welcome!

Word Count: 5.5K

You grabbed your bag and stood up from the table where you were sitting. You lowered the short, violet dress you were wearing that night. It had too little fabric for your taste, but Alys had insisted that you had bought it toward two years for some special reason and she insisted that you wear it for her birthday celebration. You remembered Aemond murmuring that you were very pretty and your cheeks had flushed slightly.

At that moment you felt stupid watching him dance with Alys. She pressed her body against him on the dance floor of that exclusive club, where Aemond had gotten a VIP section for his girlfriend's birthday. For his beloved Alys and all her friends. That included you. However, after watching Alys rub her butt against Aemond's crotch for the twenty-third time that night you felt out of place. It wasn't that you had counted the times she had made that move, or that you had a game in which you used to take a drink every time she did it... how many hangovers hadn't been because of that move... No, really  No. You wore very well than your best friend came out with the boy you liked since high school. You were doing terribly well. You were only going home because you couldn't stand those high heels or that short dress anymore. The atmosphere of that club. Crowded with people and with an oppressive temperature…

You said goodbye to all your friends on the pretext that your head hurt and Shiera and her bicolor eyes knew that you were lying, but she didn't give it any more importance. She was the only friend who had let you know that Alys' move had been too low when she started dating Aemond when it was obvious that you liked him. But did you like Aemond? Of course not. Of course not. You had always been friends and there was a sacred rule about not going out with friends. Things broke down and that's why you had never done anything... Right? Another lie that you always told yourself to calm your sad mood.

You left the club and found yourself on the street in the rain and Sound of the cars that were trying to drive under that unexpected temporary. The now muffled music coming out of that exclusive venue. That repetitive and strident sound. You grabbed your arms and thought about your options to get home. All your skin was crawling from the cold and humidity of the water and although you didn't realize it, the humidity there was frizzy that hairstyle that had cost you so much to do that night. The truth was that you knew that a small part of you had only acted like this to impress Aemond, although you would rather die than admit it. You had always found it pathetic that two women competed for the same man. You kept thinking about how to get back home.

You could order a taxi and have it drop you off at the King's Landing bus station. There was a bus that left there at one in the morning. It would take you about 45 minutes to arrive and you could take off that terrible dress and those uncomfortable shoes. You could also call your brother and stay the night at his apartment, but you knew he would end up arguing with his girlfriend like always. So you ruled it out. You could... call your father and ask him to come pick you up. But that would only mean having to explain why you had returned so soon from your supposed best friend's party.

“Hey, how come you're not inside? It's a terrible storm to be outside” you heard Alys' voice behind you and your brain ended up freezing completely. You weren't in the mood to pretend that everything was okay between you, because it hadn't been for three years. Everything was a supposed cordiality and sisterhood that in many cases ended up stressing you out, all because it wouldn't be obvious that you were just jealous. Terribly jealous.

"I'm going home. My head hurts a little” you responded with the best of your fake smiles and you only saw that she was still perfect even despite the humidity of the environment. She was always bloody perfect, with her makeup well applied, her hair perfectly combed, and her dress without a single wrinkle, despite having spent the whole night rubbing against Aemond. Sometimes you thought she even did it on purpose.

“Oh, come on, just wait a couple of hours and Aemond and I will take you home in his car,” she replied, trying to take your hand and go back to the party, but you just let go of her in a bad way, and you realized that such a violent and tiring gesture had managed to destroy the fragile facade of feigned happiness for her that you had managed to build over those hard three years. You weren't going to go home again while Aemond drove and Alys touched up in the passenger seat.

“I don't want to be a bother. Today is your birthday and I imagine you will go do your things after this” you sighed, your cheeks slightly blushing. You could still hear Alys' criticism of the fact that you still hadn't slept with anyone. Alys always patronized you and laughed amusingly as you both continued under the entrance to the club. You are much closer to the rain than she was.

“You mean I'm going to go fuck him after my birthday party?” She smiled at you, amused and arrogant, crossing his arms, knowing that that way of speaking always made you feel uncomfortable. Alys had never been known for being subtle or discreet. It was what you thought men liked about her. “Of course I will, but we can keep bringing you closer to home” she smiled again. She laughed in your face and found the sad face you had made when she had confirmed that she would sleep with Aemond that night even more amusing. You were so innocent that she always thought you had to imagine them playing house when you weren't with them.

“My head really hurts,” you murmured, feeling your cheeks blush. In that moment, you wished you were Alys and received all the attention Aemond gave her day after day. “And I just want to go home…”

“(Y/N), I'm not stupid, okay? I know you like Aemond, but, you have played your cards better” she laughed and you went pale. You saw her smirk as she hit the nail on the head. You had always considered yourself a good actress, but you weren't. You never had been. “This party is full of guys and you just need to get laid. My boyfriend would end up being a mere memory in your head if you did that” she could see how it had been a real stab that she referred to Aemond as her boyfriend and she just laughed, again. “Please, you and Aemond have always been in very different leagues, and you are still a child unable to get over your high school crush,” she laughed and you couldn't take it anymore. It almost seemed like Alys had always found pleasure in humiliating you. “Don't be pathetic. Go back to the party and go to the bathroom with the first one who invites you to a drink” She offered her hand for you to come back in and something inside your head seemed to click at that moment.

“Did you know I liked Aemond in high school?” you asked her and her smile faltered for the first time that night.

“Hey…” Alys started to shake her head. She had always known it. And your heart broke even more. What the hell had Alys been playing since then? “(Y/N), I…”

“It's a yes or a no. It's not that complicated,” you replied, feeling your whole body trembling as if you couldn't stand on your legs. And she bit her lips. She didn't want to answer you. She didn't want to do it because she had always known and never cared. She had only had one very clear goal with Aemond. "Brilliant. You knew it and you still screwed it.”

“You couldn't decide. It was stupid to see you” she blurted that out in your face as if it were a compelling enough reason and you didn't even stay to listen to the rest of the explanation. You just ran out of there, in the rain, your bag swinging on your bare shoulder and hugging yourself. “(Y/N), come back” she yelled at you. But, you were too sad to look back again and you just ran through the rain, almost not knowing where to go.

Alys saw your figure disappear and only turned to return to the club. At the door she met Aemond, who had come out to look for you. He asked her if everything was okay and she just kissed him and took him to the bathroom. That was the perfect way their relationship worked. She was sure he hadn't heard any of your conversation.

You kept walking until you ended up cold and soaked in a part of the city you didn't know. But, you felt too betrayed to be able to feel afraid. You weren't in a good neighborhood and fate was just capricious when you heard something moving in an alley.

At that moment, you realized where you were and you felt afraid. You saw the gazes of some of the passersby fix on you and one even whistled at you as you passed by him. “What is a girl as pretty and alone as you doing in a place like this?” He whispered to you as he grabbed your arm. That man only smelled of alcohol and you felt stupid for having rejected Alys' offer. How did you end up there?

A shadow appeared between the garbage cans in that alley and you never felt so happy to have seen Aegon in your life. He was in a sorry state, with an eyebrow and a split lower lip. He staggered and sighed as he tried to focus his eyes on the spectacle in front of his eyes. You thought he almost looked like he had just been beaten up and he just tried to smile at the sight of you.

That man who had grabbed you stood still, just like you. To that stranger, even in a state as pitiful as that, Aegon Targaryen was someone to be reckoned with. It was a name that could only bring trouble, and, yes, it was perfectly the kind of neighborhood where you'd imagine Aegon on a Saturday night.

“Hey, (Y/N), is this asshole bothering you?” he responded, clutching his ribs, sighing heavily and ending with a smile just as he finished exhaling. That guy looked you up and down, weighing whether the risk of facing Aegon was worth it, even if he was in that state so unbecoming of his family's name, as Aemond always said.

The same guy who had assaulted you let you go and left without saying anything else. Aegon leaned against the brick wall at the corner of the alley and smiled at you again. He made a pitiful sound again and you approached as if you had become active again, after the terror that had taken hold of you. "Are you OK?" you asked him, eyes full of concern and Aegon thought about how he liked your eyes when they looked at him like that. You were a good enough person to care about him. He thought you were even too good a person to be his brother's best friend. You always gave everything you had.

“I've had better nights. Also worse” he answered you while he continued clutching his ribs and took out the keys to his car that was parked at the door of that seedy dive. You didn't even want to ask him what activities were carried out there. You approached with concern and he tried to smile again. Aegon had always treated you cordially, even sympathetically, despite the relationship you had with Aemond. “Well, can I get you somewhere?” Because it's hard for me to leave you in a neighborhood like this alone,” he said with difficulty, banging the keys on the hood of the last Ferrari his parents had bought him. You knew how bad that had felt for Aemond. However, they paid for his very expensive and exclusive doctorate while his brother seemed to indulge that sinful life that only brought him problems.

“I think you should go to the hospital and have that bruise looked at,” you told him as you opened the passenger door. You knew Aemond was going to kill him when he found out whatever had happened to him, and you felt obligated to escort him, as if you had taken the same responsibility on your own of your best friend. You got into the car and Aegon smiled again at the same time he too opened his door.

“I'll go to the hospital right after I drop you off at your house or wherever you want,” he said, starting the car, without putting on his seat belt. At that moment he realized that you were soaked and that you had cried. He had made enough women cry to know the expression that was painted on your face. “Uhm, are you okay? Because you look terrible” he asked you with genuine concern and the greatest tact he had. Aegon had never been known for having good tact.

“Are you really asking me how I am doing when you have a possible broken rib?” you asked him, framing your eyebrows in a worried gesture and he just laughed.

"Believe me. I've had my ribs broken and they hurt more,” he answered honestly and you looked at your phone at that moment. Aemond had sent you a message. Alys none. And you didn't want to see what your best friend had written to you. You didn't think you were capable. You would end up crying. “I thought today was Alys's birthday,” Aegon murmured as he tapped the steering wheel as he began to drive through the city. You didn't even want to wonder if he was up to it, but you just sighed.

“Yes, it is,” you said, putting the phone back in your bag and Aegon just bit his inner cheek. Okay, it was better not to ask you about that topic. He knew enough about women to know that: one, that you had cried, and two, that you must have argued with Alys. The reasons for the discussion could be quite broad. To Aegon, Alys had always seemed as much of a cretin as his cretin of a brother. But Aemond was his little brother and he had no choice but to put up with him. He couldn't stand Alys and it showed. But, he was always the life of the party. He considered his brother's girlfriend so stupid that he thought that not even she must know. You had a sad face, but that was the face you had since Alys and Aemond had started dating. His brother had made a terrible mistake by not choosing you. A mistake Aegon was not willing to make. Maybe, he could sleep with you and see if things worked out…no, no. You were too good a girl for that.

“So… Shall I take you back to the party?” He asked and called himself stupid. You had to come from there, wrapped in tears and looking terrible. A sigh escaped your lips and you just rested your head against the car seat. Your eyes squeezed shut and a tear escaped them.

“No, leave it,” you quickly wiped away that tear with the back of your hand and Aegon felt violent. He had seen you cry before, but it had always been when you were younger, in Aemond's room and, of course, his brother had always been there for you. The eldest Targaryen only knew you in a much less intimate context. He found you quite nice considering the people Aemond usually chose as friends and Aegon had to confess that he had looked at your ass on more than one occasion at one of the parties they had at his house when his parents were away. He did like you somewhat, but he had imagined you as his sister-in-law until Alys appeared in Aemond's life. “Could you drop me off at the bus station?”

“Yes, of course,” Aegon drove in silence. So, yes, you had argued with Aemond's girlfriend. He didn't see you capable of crying about it, or about the situation. Your tears must have had another explanation. Aegon looked at the clock. It was quite late and you probably wanted to take the last bus that would take you to that small city so close to King's Landing. But, you weren't going to have time and that boy thought about whether it was advisable to leave you with such a short dress, such disastrous looks and such uncomfortable shoes in such a lonely season so late. He couldn't think of anything better than the stupid thing he said next. “Um… you could come to my apartment. Uhmmm, I would need someone to cure my lip and eyebrow…” he scratched the back of his neck while his other hand was still on the steering wheel. He thought it was better to keep you in his house with such a stupid ruse than to endure the scolding Aemond would give him if anything happened to you. Besides, a small part of Aegon, very small, actually worried that something might happen to you. He looked at you out of the corner of his eye and only saw you completely blushing. He would have killed to know what you were thinking, but your only mind was that it was the same apartment you had stayed the night in many other times, before Alys started dating Aemond. The couch had always seemed comfortable to you, although Aemond had always left you his bed and he had gone to sleep on the couch. How many nights had you slept there thinking that Aemond would show up in the middle of the night? But, he had never done it and you had never approached the sofa either. You were both too shy or stupid to do it. “Okay, it was stupid and…” Aegon started rambling and you just looked at his wounds. Maybe you could help him.

"OK. Alright. Let's go to the apartment” you replied as you relaxed in the passenger seat and brushed your arms again, freezing to death. Maybe it was better than spending the night waiting for the next bus. You would leave in the morning. You were sure that Aemond and Alys had booked a hotel room for that night. You wouldn't see them. Nothing would happen. You preferred to spend the night under the same roof as Aegon than alone and soaked at the station.

The next thing you remembered was Aegon shirtless. Sitting on the toilet bowl, drinking a bottle of Vodka. The same concoction you were using to rub on the wound on your eyebrow. It was quite deep and did not seem to slow down in its efforts to bleed scandalously. You weren't good at that. You've never had to heal a wound like that on anyone. You and Aemond had always been calm and smart enough to stay out of trouble, even when you were in high school.

Aegon let out another pitiful whimper as the cotton touched the wound again. You only came closer, but Aegon couldn't help but think that you smelled too good. He had your breasts at eye level and found them fascinating. He just took another sip from the bottle while he kept looking at them. You continued in silence, too focused to pay him any attention. Aemond had been an asshole for not telling you when it was obvious that he had had a crush on you all through high school. The eldest Targaryen moved again as the cotton touched the wound again and you just grabbed his chin.

“Please, if you don't stay still I'm not going to move forward with this” you whispered to him while you kept looking at the wound. He liked your worried eyes, your eyes fixed on him, even if it was to heal a simple wound. “I don't know why they did this to you, but it doesn't look good,” you murmured as you dipped a new cotton ball into the bottle that had finally been freed from his hands and he just chuckled.

“Well, at least they didn't kill me. If they had killed me, I wouldn't be able to pay them back the money I owe them” Aegon joked and you just narrowed your eyes while shaking your head. Not a single smile had appeared on your lips and that was almost a way to make Aegon vulnerable, or maybe it was just a strategy to get you into his bed that night. Aegon wasn't sure what was wrong with you. With you. On that one and first time that you were alone and showed genuine concern for him.

“Don't move,” you whispered, still focused on the wound. It seemed like the bleeding had stopped and keeping an eye on that was better than thinking about how ridiculous you had been at Alys's party. Aegon didn't move and just sighed, relaxing his muscles.

“I know I'm a fucking mess. "I'm sorry," Aegon replied. He bit his cheek and just looked at the ground. He would always be the biggest failure of all his brothers. The stupid. The headless one... the lost one... While you healed him in silence, he reflected on it. Would any of his friends cure him like you were doing? The answer was clear and he couldn't feel more of a failure than ever. Shirtless. Sitting in the bathroom. With a girl who was out of his league. “I guess you think I'm a failure…” he whispered and closed his eye, grimacing painfully before you put that stitches on him, and yet you stopped. He looked at you and saw only pity in your eyes.

It hadn't been an easy night for either of you.

“Why would I think that?” you told him, wrinkling your face, almost in a sneer at the image he must have of you, if he thought that you thought he was a failure.

“Well…” he shrugged his shoulders “I wasn't able to finish my degree, I haven't been able to keep a job for more than three months straight, and I just got beaten up for owing money in a cockfight…” he sighed and finished. smiling, almost in a pathetic way that made your heart ache, as if you had never seen him before as the human being he was, as more than just your best friend's older brother. “I'm never going to have a PhD or a girl who is always in love with me… I will never be as perfect as Aemond…” He looked straight into your eyes and you just looked at him with eyes full of tears. He had struck a chord.

He was right that you would always have a crush on Aemond. You quickly wiped away your tears and approached him again. You placed the stitch and he only pretended to moan in pain to make you laugh. “What a bad nurse you are” he whispered and made you laugh.

“You don't want to be as blind as Aemond,” you said in a whisper and he just laughed.

“Damn, he's one-eyed, what a way to say that…” he laughed, getting up from the toilet and you narrowed your eyes, separating yourself from him, ready to wash your hands in the sink. He looked at you smiling at your reflection in the bathroom mirror and you looked back at him with a half smile.

“You know that's not what I mean,” you told him and he just laughed again.

“I know, but the joke was there. I just saw the opportunity” he shrugged again and you came closer just to sniff him. He saw your face scrunching up and laughed loudly. “I should take a shower, would you like to come with me?” He asked in a joking, but suggestive tone and you just punched him in the chest, laughing for the first time that night.

“Can you take a shower, please?” you asked him and he just looked you up and down. That pretty, damaged dress. All your hair wet. You were a mess.

“Right now,” he said, leaving the bathroom, running towards his room. You didn't know whether to follow him and you ended up doing so, almost like a mother following a small child. Now you knew how Aemond felt every time he told you each of his older brother's crazy things. However, you arrived at his room to only see him with a tender smile and grabbing one of his old t-shirts. “You're soaked… and… you're going to end up catching a cold…” He offered you the shirt and that tender gesture broke your heart. Before, Aemond had always had those tender gestures with you, now... three years later... and with Alys... none of that existed.

You blushed and pushed him into the shower, laughing. How long had it been since you laughed like that?

“We're not going to watch a documentary about Ancient Valyria,” he screamed at you, while flipping through the many pay channels he had. You laughed and knelt on the couch, trying to get the controller away from him. You missed having that complicity with someone, and you wondered how you could have reached that intimate point with Aegon, wearing one of his shirts, sitting with him in the living room of his apartment... it almost seemed like you were back with Aemond and then, he came back to stretch your arm, separating the TV remote from your possible grip. You tried to grab him again, falling on top of him and Aegon just put his hand on the back of your neck, pulling your face to his and... he simply kissed you, closing his eyes, while your eyes remained wide open. His lips landed on yours and he moved them energetically, feeling a kind of strange connection with you. You didn't close your eyes even once. You didn't believe what was happening, much less did you know how to react to that kiss that didn't upset you, but it didn't excite you either. How many times have you imagined Aemond kissing you on that couch while you were watching one of the documentaries he liked so much? Aegon finished and opened his eyes to only be met with your wide eyes and flushed cheeks. You looked down and he just laughed, feeling like a loser again… “Has it been that bad?” He asked, running his hand through his hair, almost as if he'd screwed up…because, that's how he always felt. That damn feeling of always screwing up.

However, you kissed him again. It was a childish and vindictive feeling, stupid and immature. You only remembered Alys's words. Maybe the problem was the same thing that Alys had told you at the entrance to that exclusive club, maybe... you just needed to get laid by the first person who had invited you to a drink, and Aegon had done much more than that.

He accepted all your kisses, feeling like a winner. He had surpassed Aemond for the first time in his life. He had the girl of his dreams and he planned to rub it in his face how good a match he was for you... Besides, you didn't see him as a loser, and that made his heart beat harder. Your kisses were proof of this.

You ended up sleeping with Aegon, without much more than a few kisses, in the same bed in his apartment, without him letting go of you all night. Hugging you and you felt a special connection with him... As if all the attention and care he needed fell on you... and, unbeknownst to you, Aegon began to think that you were his girlfriend that very night... you ended up cuddled up, with him hugging you. body, and you slept... Aegon was just a patch to alleviate your loneliness, but wasn't that what love was about?

“But… What are you doing here?” Alys closed the refrigerator door roughly and you woke up from the sleepy trance you were in. You had only gone for a glass of water to continue sleeping.

Your best friend crossed her arms. The nightgown that left little to the imagination contrasted with the old t-shirt Aegon had left you to sleep in. You were both in your underwear, although in a very different way. She looked you up and down, as if you were a real scumbag and you only spoke with the shyness that characterized you, with the fear that you had always really had of Alys, it wasn't about respect. It was about fear. She had always been better than you and had constantly reminded you of that. “I was coming for water,” you whispered. You looked at her as if she were an alien, as if you didn't want to have anything to do with her since the argument the night before, because you didn't want to see her again. Never more.

“Well, I imagine that's what you were coming for…” he told you, looking at you again, as if he were scanning you. “That shirt is Aegon's…” he whispered, grabbing one of the sleeves as if it would give him a rash and you blushed, breaking free of his grip.

“Why don't you go fuck Aemond? It's the only thing you know how to do” you whispered to her, angry, like you had never been before and she smiled contemptuously, as if everything was beginning to unfold in her head. You were angry and hurt, much more hurt than angry.

“Don't fuck with me, (Y/N). Are you fucking Aegon?” She smiled, with that smile so beautiful and evil at the same time. “Are you so pathetic that since you can't sleep with Aemond you end up fucking his loser brother? Oh really?" she smiled again.

“Leave me alone, bitch,” you said. The voice was icy and she paled. She would never have believed you capable of calling him that. “If you had been my friend, you wouldn't have fucked him,” you told her. A tear running down your face. “Because you knew I was in love with him… because you fucking knew it…” you whispered under your breath. You felt another tear running down your face. And it wasn't just because Aemond had chosen her, it was because she had always known... she had been your best friend... until that night...

“You will always be a pathetic, losing creature. “Did you want Aemond to end up with a loser like you?” She asked you and at that moment, you froze.

Aemond appeared there, without his sweater, without his eyepatch, and looked at you both as if that had been the revelation of his life... always so blind... he had heard everything and opened his mouth to say something, but you just walked out of the room. You headed towards Aegon's room and closed the door behind you. You had already made a decision.

Alys watched as her boyfriend nervously ran his hand through his hair. “Aemond…” she whispered, approaching him, trying to get him to take her into his arms again, but Aemond only pushed her away, closing his sole tightly. How could he have been so blind? Alys… Alys had always told him that you weren't interested and he… had believed her, because it was the easy way… to believe her… “Let's go to bed” she whispered, hugging him from behind, kissing his back while he tried to process everything, in complete silence. “She's always going to be a pathetic, losing creature…” she began whispering and Aemond couldn't take it anymore. It had been like this for too long.

“Go away,” he said in a firm voice and Alys stopped kissing his back. She pulled away and Aemond just turned away, not meeting her eyes. He repeated the same command “Go away.”

“But…” Alys started to speak, but Aemond just grabbed her arm and looked her straight in the eyes. His eyes seemed to have forgotten all the desire and adoration he had had for her during those three years.

“Go away,” he whispered again. At that moment he hated her, but above all he hated himself for having always been so blind. Alys left, and it took him two years away from you to clarify what he felt... He had always been selfish...

[devotedlykoneshots]

ZHONG CHENLE : BOYFRIEND FOR THE WEEKEND

Genre:🔞, minors dni, slight fake dating, best friend to lovers plot, nothing too crazy really

Word Count: 5182

--------

You heard a ring come from your laptop and immediately answered the call, knowing better than to keep chenle waiting for too long.

"Hey , what are you up to?"his voice sounded a little raspy , he must've just woken up.

"Getting packed for the holidays, my parents are dying to see me"you told him, you and chenle grew up together. You lived just across the street from each other, went to the same schools and hung around the same people.

He'd always been someone you could count on and he'd say the same for you but then college came around, you both became too busy for each other but he never forgot about you.

Always calling you every chance he could and you did the same, including him in your plans.

"Are you going home for the holidays this year ? "You asked and continued to walk around your room, chenle hums and nods.

" Yeah . My mum's pressing me about bringing someone home."He said and you gasped, turning your head towards the laptop.

" Mine too! Like we're just going to manifest dates in a month"You told him with an eye roll and then you saw a familiar look on his face.

" Wait ... what's that look?"You asked him and he scoffs.

"What look?"he asked as if he had no clue of what you were referring to.

"The look you always get when you're plotting"you told him , was he really that readable? He'd thought to himself.

If he asked , you would've told him he was pathetically readable or you just knew him too well.

Or both.

It was definitely both.

"I don't have a look"he brushed it off , hoping you'd let it go but he should've known better. You were as stubborn as they come.

"I can see the wheels turning in your head"you told him and he narrows his eyes at you but you knew better, chenle couldn't threaten you even if he tried.

"Stop looking at me"he huffed and you folded your arms and gave him a look, an unimpressed look.

"Then tell me what you're thinking"you told him and he sighs.

"Fine!, Okay I have a plan"he said and you raised your eyebrows, surprised it actually worked. You underestimated just how much of a hold you had on him.

"Is it something that's going to get us in trouble?"you asked him and he rolled his eyes at you with a scoff, now giving you his own look of disappointment.

"At this point you should know the answer to that"he said and your shoulders slumped.

" Yeah that's what I was afraid of"you mumbled and he chuckles, thinking of how cute could you possibly get.

"Do you wanna hear the plan or not?"he asked with as much sass as he could muster up at the moment.

"I'm listening"

Weeks go by and finally holiday season was in motion, some people were going home to see family and others were plotting something mischievous while everyone was away.

You're pretty sure you heard a guy named haechan talking about pranking some kids from the stray frat house.

"I cannot wait to see you , it's been forever. Talking on the phone isn't the same"Your best friend gushes excitedly over the phone and you agreed, you missed him lots.

"Hey , for Christmas , do you want to share a hotel room? I'm not staying at my parents house again , not doing it . "He tells you as you both prepared to get on the plane to head to your destination, you both would meet up at the station and catch a ride with your parents back to the house.

"You know what , yeah . That's actually a great idea and we can split the cost , why didn't we think about this before?"You exclaimed, slapping the palm of your hand against your forehead and wincing at the pain you just caused yourself.

"Hey! No injuries before we get there"he scolds you playfully and you rolled your eyes, unfortunately it was time for you to board the plane now so you had to say goodbye.

--------

"Chenle!"you sprinted across the airport before dropping your things and nearly jumping on him, hugging him tightly and he laughs as he drops his own things to hug you back just as tight.

"I didn't think you missed me so much."he said and you smiled before pulling away , punching his arm and watching him wince dramatically.

"Are you kidding? It wasn't the same without you. I don't have anyone else to force to binge watch vampire diaries with, you know..."you told him and he rolls his eyes, picking up his things before pointing across the station to the parking lot where both of your mothers were waving frantically.

"Let's go and get settled in , then we can catch up later"you immediately agreed and looked at him.

"Last one to reach our moms sits in the trunk with the luggage"you both immediately start to run to your parents.

You lost.

--------

"No dates again huh?"it was later that day after getting settled again when you entered the kitchen as your mother was just finishing up dinner.

"What?"the statement caught you off guard and she sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear and she turned to you.

"Sweetie you're in your prime right now and I didn't wanna say anything but I think it's time to explore"she said and your eyebrows furrowed.

"Oh dear God , mom please"you begged and rubbed your temples.

"I'm just saying, experience everything life has to offer"she said and folded her arms , you just looked at her with a blank expression.

"You mean sex"you deadpanned and she groans softly.

"Yes"she finally tells the truth.

"Oh my god, you're unbelievable"you shake your head and she huffs, you knew she was just trying to get you out of the house.

"At this point I'm questioning if you're a lesbian and you just haven't come out yet"She keeps going and if your jaw could drop to the floor it would be on the floor by now.

"What are you guys talking about?"your dad comes into the kitchen and you turn to him.

"Mom thinks I'm a lesbian"you tell him and he looks at his wife.

"Woah"he said and your mother doesn't look too pleased with you.

"You're still a virgin"she accused you, even though she was absolutely right.

"How would you know?!"you exclaimed.

"A mother knows"she tells you but by the time you could tell her off chenle shows up and wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you into his side.

"Actually, we're dating"he said and your head snaps in his direction.

"What?!"you, your mother and your father said in unison.

"Chenle , help me set the table"you tell him sweetly and he looks at you, with a look of fear.

"But-"you grab his arm and nearly drag him out of the kitchen.

"The table!"

"What are you doing?"you asked him once you get away from your parents.

"Helping you out, you remember my plan"he said and you groaned softly, that godforsaken plan.

"You said for Christmas"you tell him and he rolls his eyes.

"Well it looked like you needed help, you're welcome"he said and you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose.

"I know and thank you for helping me out but what now? we've been best friends since diapers, no one is going to believe this."you told him and he smiles at you, coming over to drape his arm over your shoulders.

"Everyone is going to believe this."he said and you looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows, he knew something you didn't.

"What are you talking about?"you asked him and he pulls away to grab the table cloth from behind you.

"Our parents have been secretly shipping us for the past 10 years"He said and your jaw dropped for the second time that night.

"You're joking"you tell him and he scoffed, looking at you as he set the table while you stand there and watch him.

"I wish, now help me set this table"he said and you rolled your eyes, so many questions running through your mind.

---------

"do you think we should practice kissing? Is that....I don't know how this works"you sit on your bed and put your head in your hands, the sound of his voice calls for your attention.

"I mean sure...just promise me one thing."he said and you bit the sleeve of your hoodie.

" what's that?"you asked and he smirks.

" don't fall in love with me."and you grab a nearby pillow, using it to wack him and he laughs.

Neither of you aware of your mothers spying on you outside the door, having come over to the door upon hearing your laughs.

"Oh as if"you scoff and roll your eyes , he takes the pillow from you and grabs you by the neck to pull you into a kiss.

Successfully catching you off guard and tossing the pillow on the floor, you cup his face in shock and close your eyes as you kiss him back.

"We have company"he whispers into the kiss and you pull him into a kiss again, he leaves one last peck on your lips and pulls away.

"I'll go see if the food is ready"he announced and you both heard them scattering back down the stairs to finish the food.

"Just a bunch of peeping tom's"chenle chuckles and you look over at the photo of you and him on your bedside table, your parents must've put that there.

"They just want what's best for us, I think it's sweet"you told him and smiled, he smiles at you fondly.

"Of course you do, you're too innocent for this world"he plops down on your bed and rests his head on your lap, your fingers instantly massaging his scalp.

"I'm not as innocent as you think"you tell him and he lifts himself up off your lap, raising his eyebrows at you.

"What's that supposed to mean?"he asked you and you giggled.

"Nothing!"you say and skip out of the room, rushing downstairs to sit at the table.

"Yah! Get back here and explain"he chases after you.

--------

The dinner table was unusually quiet which was rare for both of your families , your mind kept drifting back to the kiss.

You had no idea your best friend knew how to kiss like that , you had to play it off of course and you hoped he didn't notice.

"so when did this start?"your father asked , finally speaking up and you looked over at chenle.

"about 3 months ago"he replied smoothly, running his hand up and down your thigh to soothe you because he knew you were panicking.

"Why didn't you tell us, we would've understood?" Your mother speaks softly now, holding onto your fathers arm as she gushes.

"Its still pretty new and we were just trying to see where things could go before we told anyone" chenle really put on a show for both of your parents as his fingers massage your scalp , something only he knew calmed you down and you started to see him in a different light.

"As long as you're both happy"you smiled and looked over at chenle, he smiled as well.

"We are"you both said and dinner went on as usual, the liveliness returning and you sat there in your thoughts once again as you watched the people you loved dearly.

Dinner lasted for two hours before everyone started to pack up and say goodnight, you pulled chenle to the kitchen to speak privately and he let's you.

"I just wanted to thank you for tonight"you start off by saying as you fold your arms and he nods.

"You just looked so miserable and helpless, I had to save you"you rolled your eyes at that with a laugh , which made him laugh.

"You're so right, I don't know how I would've survived without you"you shake your head in disbelief and he catches you off guard when he places a hand on your cheek, stroking your soft skin.

"I'll see you tomorrow"he said and you nodded, tucking your hair behind your ear.

"Yeah of cou-"you gasp against his lips as he pulls you into another kiss and places your hands around his neck before his move to your hips, you kissed back and grabbed a fistful of his hair.

It felt too real, this was a bad idea. You pulled back as you pant lightly and look up at him.

"Was someone watching?" You asked confused and he shrugged.

"Yeah, sure" you weren't convinced but didn't stop him from kissing you again, grip tightening on your waist and your fingers running through his hair.

"No sex in the kitchen!"your mothers shrill voice made you and him jump apart, you covered your face in embarrassment.

"Goodnight, y/n"you lifted your head to wave chenle a goodnight.

-------

That night you couldn't sleep and you tried your hardest really but your best friends lips wouldn't leave your mind, they felt so soft and the way he took control of the kiss.

The way he took care of you during dinner and the way he guided you in the kitchen, you couldn't be catching feelings for the guy who literally thinks not showering saves water and helps the planet.

This is the same guy who pulled your pig tails for shits and giggles, the same guy that farted under your shared blanket and told you " if you want to live , don't lift the blanket"

What the hell was your heart doing? What kind of short circuit , malfunction was this?

Unbeknownst to you he was in the same predicament , not being able to sleep because you wouldn't leave his mind and he sort of wished he'd pulled your pig tails harder when you were younger as if that would change how he felt when he didn't even know what he felt.

Was it infatuation, lust, or something deeper? It didn't matter because he found himself getting dressed and texting your phone.

He told you to come outside because he couldn't sleep and you found yourself doing so anyway despite your protests.

"Finally"he sighed and crossed the street to you, if anyone asked he'd say he wasn't in control of his body when he cupped your face and kissed your lips for the third time that night.

You kissed him back and grabbed the hands that cupped your face, this kiss was a lot different than the others. It was almost a frenzy, like he needed you and you were the only cure but time was running out.

He pulled away and buried his face in your neck with the both of you panting, holding onto each other tightly as if you'd slip away.

"chenle-"he cuts you off, pressing his forehead against your own and you breathe in his scent that's so uniquely him.

"I can't get you out of my head, its driving me crazy"he whispered even though you two were the only ones outside.

"neither can I"you agreed and you swear you saw a sparkle in his eyes, both of you just as hooked on each other.

"I wanna kiss you but not here"you grab his shirt in your hands and pull him closer, gulping down a whine that threatened to leave your lips.

"why not?" you ask and he smirks, thumb brushing across your bottom lip.

"you want me that bad?"he asked and you stepped back only to be pulled back against his chest a second later.

"not funny"you frown and he kisses your forehead , the simple gesture making you swoon more over this new side of chenle that no one had seen before but he just laughs at you.

"let's get out of here"he pulls out his car keys and grabs your hand, pulling you over to his new car.

"and go where?"you asked him and unlocks the car with just a click of a button, still talking as he does so.

"I'll get us a hotel room, don't want anyone else walking in on us"he explains and you freeze, stopping your strides and he immediately senses something off with you.

"what is it?"he asked turning to you and you just looked at the ground,stumbling over your words and trying to find a way to tell him this was your first time without saying too much.

"i- , I just-"chenle is so amazing at reading you that he completely understood, taking your hand in his and stroking your knuckles with his thumb.

That was something only you knew he did whenever he tried to comfort you, he was generally a very attentive guy and he could read you easily.

"we don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with" he assures you but that only made you want to kiss him more, but he dodges your lips and makes you kiss his cheek instead with a smirk on his face.

"I'm serious"he tells you and you nod, you just wanted his lips on yours again and you grabbed two fist fulls of his shirt before pulling him against you hard, you don't pay any mind to your back hitting the car and only cared about the lips pressing against your own.

You hum in content and his hands grab your waist, tightening their grip before pulling away opening the door to the backseat and guiding you inside, locking the door after before his lips are back on yours and situating himself between your legs as he ruts against your clothed cunt covered by a thin layer of leggings.

"Chenle , you don't have a boner right now"you whispered and as you went to slip your hand between your bodies, he groans at your hand cupping his definite boner.

"Oh my god"you whisper but he pulls back, from the kiss, pressing his forehead against your own.

"We can just make out for a bit and then leave"you shake your head and lock your legs around his waist, cupping his face to kiss his lips and deepen the kiss.

"y/n"he tries to speak but you deepen the kiss again, pressing his hips down against your core and bucking up against him.

"need you here , lele"you whine and he gulps, shaking his head to clear his mind.

"I want you to be comfortable, your first time shouldn't be in the back of my car"he said and you drag your nails up the skin of his back, underneath his shirt as you successfully send a wave of shivers down his spine and he groans.

"please"you beg, all sense of pride leaving out the window the moment your lips are together, kissing his mouth like a starved animal and you move as you switch places with him to straddle his lap.

His hands on your hips and yours on his shoulders as he scoots back up against the other car door , locking the car before tossing the keys on the floor and you don't hesitate to kiss his neck as his hands move to your waist.

You take off your jacket and toss it onto the floor, his hands immediately slip under your shirt to touch your warm skin and you shriek at his cold fingers pulling back.

"Your hands are freezing"he does nothing but laugh and you lean over the front seat to turn on the heat , his hands slip under your shirt again but this time his fingers brush against your nipples and your body jerks at the sudden cold touch.

"no bra? what did we say about walking around outside in the winter without a bra?"he starts to scold you all the while his fingers roll your nipples between them and your back arches, gripping his shoulders tightly and shaking your head.

"chenle"you gasp and roll your hips down against him , he groans softly and grips your hips before bringing his lips to your nipple for the first time.

"Fuck"you gasp and tangle your fingers in his hair as you continue to grind on his crotch, his lips lick and suck your nipple as you hold him close and lean your head back.

Fuck, his tongue felt amazing.

"lele, I need you now"you whine as your hips rut against him and he has to force your hips to stop as he pulls off of your nipple.

"not yet , I still need to taste you"you bite your bottom lip and move to lay down on the other side of the car as chenle moves between your legs, his hands pull off your pants and underwear before blowing air on your clit.

"chenle" you smack his head as a reflex and he laughs before he let's his saliva drip down from his mouth and onto your anxiously awaiting pussy, using his index finger to spread it around before throwing your legs over his shoulder.

Your heart is beating fast and he hasn't even done anything quite yet, just using his finger to explore all you had to offer and looking up at your bottom lip trapped between your teeth.

You bite your bottom lip harder and arch your back the second his tongue meets your flesh , hands pulling you closer to suck your clit into his mouth and you moan as you tangle your fingers in his hair.

"this is the longest you've ever been quiet"he laughs and you flick him off to which he sucks your clit harder, his head shaking as he sticks his tongue out and you cry out at the pleasure.

"Fuck-"he lifts your leg and rests your heel on the back of the drivers seat and licks at your entrance before he looks up at you , pulling back to stick his finger in his mouth and sucks on it , gathering some of his saliva before he's prodding at your entrance.

"I'm gonna add a finger now to open you up" he explains and intertwines your fingers with his unoccupied hand , you let out a whimper as he pushes his finger inside slowly and shushes you , kissing your fingers.

"fuck , have you never touched yourself before?" he asked , surprised at your tightness and you shake your head and look away embarrassed.

"Give me your hand" he tells you and you look at him for a moment before giving him your hand, he takes his finger out of your hole and takes your middle finger and his own, sticking them both in his mouth and sucking them as he lathers them up with his tongue.

"Chenle-"you had never seen someone do something like that and he amazes you more as he uses both of your fingers to push inside of your sopping wet entrance.

"fuck, you're so-"the car felt hot and it wasn't because of the heat, you never thought chenle was hiding this the entire time and here you were thinking he was a virgin like you.

" I feel weird"you pant and he licks your clit before sucking the flesh into his mouth, sucking softly and you run your fingers through your hair as you squirm underneath him.

"don't run, let it go" he said as he speeds his thrusts up and your body starts to tremble, your moans get louder until you start to call out his name as your mind goes blank and your hips started to buck against both of your fingers.

His lips return back to your pussy as he continues to lap at your clit and sucks on your folds, your hips bucking against his mouth as you try to grab anything that was closest to you and he hums as you grip onto his hair tightly.

"Chenle"you buck your hips faster as he only intensifies your orgasm and water starts to leak out of you, his tongue slurping it all up and you have to push his head away to get him to stop.

"oh fuck, sorry babe, you just tasted so good"he said and you whimper as you pull on his shirt, pulling him into another kiss and you push him back.

"I wanna make you feel good too" you tell him and he shakes his head, trying to sit up but you're already pulling down his joggers.

"This is about you, not me"he tries again gripping your hands but you still yank down his underwear and lick from the base of his length to the tip, swirling your tongue around it before sucking on his tip.

"Fuck, w-where did you learn that?" he asked and you smiled at him , moving down a bit to lick and suck on his balls as you stroke his length.

"porn"you shrug and he throws his head back, leaning back against the door and closing his eyes.

"I wanna learn how to deep throat , lele"your voice catches him off guard and you giggle at the look on his face.

"take it in your mouth"he starts and you do as you're told, taking him in your mouth and sucking the tip once again as you feel him twitch in your mouth and you hum.

"Keep doing that and I'll cum"he warns you and you nodded, his fingers tangle in your hair and he holds your head still as he thrusts into your mouth.

You hum and he accidentally bucks too deep into your mouth causing you to gag but he pulls back immediately.

"Fuck- maybe this isn't a good idea"he pulls sits his hips back down but you follow him and take him back in your mouth.

"Y/n-" you follow the movements he did earlier and slowly bobb your head along his shaft, he sighs and combs your hair back into a makeshift ponytail.

"fuck, you're good to me, you know. really good."he whispered as he guides your mouth along his cock and pushing you lower to have you take more of him into your mouth, trying your best to resist the urge to gag around him so you hum instead and he moans for the first time as he moves his hand faster.

You suck faster and harder, moaning at the feeling of his dick sliding against your tongue at such a pace and his hips buck up into your mouth slightly , you gag around his length and he groans again as he grips your hair tightly and pulls your head back.

"Fuck, I'm gonna cum, that's enough"he pants once you let go and listen this time around, watching as he strokes his wet cock slowly and you straddle his waist now.

"I heard this is the best position for my first time" you tell him and bite your bottom lip but he doesnt answer and kisses you deeply, lifting your hips and dragging his tip through your folds before prodding at your entrance.

He grabs the back of your neck just like earlier that day and you take a leap of faith and lower yourself a little bit , a whimper leaves your mouth and he pulls you into a kiss.

"Move at your own pace" he whispers against your lips and let's you know to take your time, you deepen the kiss and wrap your arms around his neck as you slowly roll your hips to help get used to the size.

As you get comfortable with the first half you drop yourself down to take the rest of his length completely and he holds you against his chest as your body shakes at the intrusion, gasps and soft pants leaving you as you squeeze your eyes shut.

Chenle takes good care of you and plays music from his phone, hands also rub your back and kisses are littered on your temple ever so often.

"never thought I'd see the day that you would force yourself to take all of me, you must like me that bad" you roll your eyes and pull back with a scoff.

"Why do you always have to ruin the mood?"and just like that, it was as if today never happened and you sat there bickering as if you both weren't just sucking each other off not even five minutes prior.

"I insisted we wait to have sex but you couldn't wait, you're so obsessed with me at this-" a groan leaves his lips as you rolled your hips to test the waters, chenle had just reminded you of your goal and you wouldn't admit it to him but he felt amazing inside of you.

"what was that?"you asked with a smirk and roll your hips again, his head hits the window and his nails dig into your skin.

"oh, you play dirty" he comments and you only lift your hips before sinking back down on him, hands on your hips and guiding your movements faster, your hands grip his shoulder and you start to move at your own pace.

"fuck- y/n" Chenle groans and grabs two handfuls of your breasts, a whimper leaving your lips and you place your hand over his own at the immense pleasure coursing through your body.

"chenle-" you start to bounce on his cock as best as you could in the small space, your lips connecting again and his hips lifting to meet your pace.

"you feel so amazing"he groans into the kiss and you pull away to moan against his lips, his hands helping you bounce on his cock faster.

"oh fuck-" you cry out and bury your face in his neck , his hands spread your cheeks and his pace increases as your cunt tightens around him constantly.

"are you gonna cum?" he asked and you nodded, his hand grips your hair and brings you back to his lips.

"Cum for me, princess"you moan at the sudden pet name and bounce faster, chasing your orgasm and cum with a loud moan of his name.

"fuck, I'm Cumming" he pants, sweat trickling down his back and neck as he cums inside of you before collapsing onto the seat, holding you close against his chest.

"fuck, my mom is gonna kill me" he sighs and you looked up at him , eyebrows raised.

"why?"you asked genuinely curious.

"I didn't take you on a date first"he said and you snorted at that, rolling your eyes.

"is this your way of asking me on a date?"you asked , seeing right through him.

"you were gonna say yes anyway"he retorts and rolls his eyes.

"oh , shut up, I'm revoking your sex privileges"he just laughs at you because you both know you were definitely having sex again, most likely within the next 24 hours.

[katyspersonal]

some fake bitch in Soulsborne fandom: Lmaaoooo the take that [insert something that doesn't follow their very one-dimensional, nuance-less version] is so braindead and nonsensical, like did?? everyone??? just suddenly forget???? this this and that detail in lore?????? Yall I am begging you to understand what subtext is and also to actually read into the story! We don't have to put up with these blatant misinterpretation just because you 1) are all misogynists 2) lack media literacy 3) want to defend white male character #158254 (select what applies). Anyways lol let's see how many soulsborne weirdos will want to crucify me for having actually CARED to analyze the lore 😭😭😭

me, an ACTUAL lore enthusiast: Hey, I accept your challenge with the very weapon of YOUR choice - the meticulous focus on the presumed implication of the writers and commonly neglected lore bits! Here is my essay going into excruciating detail on why your point about lore is wrong and so your toxic behavior doesn't even have factual backup. I hope you can appreciate how I haven't missed a single obscure item and how much new information you have learned from it as well as my masterful use of Spongebob memes.

the very same fake bitch: *sweats nervously* Ummmm w-well, why do you think obsessing over lore gives you intellectual high ground in the discourse..... W-we can all have opinions and our own interpretations and be mature about it!!! After all, Soulsborne fandom is about having fun, not about seeking the One True Lore...... I-I for one don't even care about loredigging that much, I just do what makes me happy and so should everyone else <3

????????????

______________

So, NOW you condemn the hassle about seeking "truth"? So, NOW you want to respect different readings within the fandom, including those that neglect some details? After you got beaten in YOUR OWN game? Coward.

It is seriously not okay that it happens from time to time, and, I want to tell that you people should always watch out for this particular brand of hypocrisy. The more you spot such """changes""" and document them, the less you will be worried about discourse. There is really nothing to be stressed about when it comes from opponents so pathetic they don't even have set standards and just tell whatever makes them have moral high ground at the moment

[feralgodmothers]

Not sure what exactly brought this thought on, but I wanted to put it out there anyway.

I was thinking about how people make fun of Austin for “acting like Elvis” and “acting like James Dean” every time his voice goes a little deeper or he stares a little harder.

And that got me thinking even further about pop culture, and how people’s impression on both Elvis AND James Dean don’t really line up with what the men are actually like, or what truly made them influential.

Of course, yes - they’re both undeniably cool. And they’re rightfully considered to be cool icons. But the aspects of them that have been idolized are very two-dimensional when you compare them to everything they have to offer, and it strips away a lot of their depth.

Take Elvis. True, he was a cool, rebel rockstar (and that’s awesome), but when you only focus on that, you get the pop culture trickle-down effect, where “definitive” things associated with him, such as this moment in Grease

indirectly paints a portrait of him that has nothing to do with the man himself (like, come on - you can’t tell me Elvis was afraid of hugs).

And same with James Dean (Now, truth be told - I don’t know much about the actual man, but I’ve seen him in a couple of his film roles, and I think that’s probably where a lot of his “cool guy” appeal comes from anyway). In his case, sure - there’s a lot of ‘cool guy’ brooding, slouching, posing, and aloofness. But along with that - there’s also some (if not a larger fraction of) real, raw emotion.

For every scene where he’s cool, calm, and collected, there’s a bigger, more character-defining scene where he’s… not any of those things. His characters go through a lot of emotional turmoil and pain, almost to the point of being pathetic. And yet, what he’s most known for is essentially the Rebel Without a Cause poster.

It’s just very fascinating to me to watch people cherrypick the most shallow bits, define these men by them, and proceed to mock others with them - when really, there’s a whole spectrum of humanity there, which even includes some wholesome masculinity.

So yeah - in that sense, I think Austin IS like Elvis and James Dean, and that’s a genuinely marvelous thing. He’s charismatic, sympathetic, deep, and he contains multitudes.

Thank you, and goodnight.