#archive verse: actual plot points

[annabelle--cane]

"the magnus protocol had a whole ARG beforehand? what?"

yes! it did!

"oh so I need to have participated in this whole big thing to actually understand the podcast?"

not at all! from the official post-mortem put out by RQ, "while the ARG was not something that was necessary to participate in to understand the magnus protocol, it was designed to contain a wealth of background story and context that would enrich any player's listening experience."

"a wealth of background context that would enrich my listening experience 👀👀👀 how can I learn about this?"

SO glad you asked. sadly, many of the materials made for the arg have been taken down since the game ended 😔 (ex., the official OIAR, magnus institute, and bonzoland websites. (edit ii: I found partial wayback machine captures! see below) though @strangehauntsuk is still up!), so we're a bit low on primary sources, but in terms of learning about what happened:

for a starting point, I would really recommend this video by @pinkelotjeart

it's super accessible, it was made in real time as the game progressed and follows the solving and revelation of clues as they happened, it hits all the major points of the mystery and moments of community insanity while eliding some of the nitty gritty puzzle grinding, 10/10 would recommend.

here's the official summary put out by RQ, and I'd recommend reading through this once you've already gotten a basic handle on the flow of the story and the basic connections between major clues and events. it's got some fun behind-the-scenes info and lays out the thought process behind the puzzles in simple terms

here's the full masterdoc of all puzzles and resolutions put together in the statement remains discord server. masterdoc my absolute BELOVED, masterdoc my bethrothed, masterdoc my soul mate. I'd recommend this as a second port of call after the above video as it either contains all details about the puzzles or links to other expanded docs that do.

here's the narrative summary doc that lays out all the plot and lore discovered in three pages of plain prose. if you just want to get to the good bits as fast as you can and get blasted directly in the face by contextless lore bombs, this is the doc for you. if you don't want to start with the video, I'd say this is another good entry point.

once you've got the lay of the land, some of the game materials that I found particularly interesting include:

the in-universe east germany expat usenet forum, with all content translated into english. most of it is irrelevant space filler with occasional extremely sus lore, but I still found it fun to read through. love to soak in some fictional forum drama.

chdb.xlsx, the spreadsheet of the names of all the children the protocol 'verse magnus institute was studying/experimenting on. EDIT: here is a version of the sheet without any annotations and with all of the names in their original order, kudos to @theboombutton for catching that the commonly shared copy had the order swapped around.

klaus.xls, a (very corrupted) spreadsheet with what looks like the classifications of a bunch of old OIAR cases.

EDIT: have a few more saved materials from the game that I forgot to include.

an in-universe audio ad to apply to the OIAR that ran before archives episodes and kicked off the whole game.

an in-universe video ad to apply to the OIAR, this one is an official upload that's still up from the game itself. you can subscribe to the OIAR's official youtube channel today, if you so chose.

the robo-voicemail greeting from the OIAR's phone line.

EDIT II:

here is a wayback machine capture of the OIAR's official website.

here is a wayback machine capture of the bonzoland website.

(pretty sure both of the above captures just archived the home pages, though I haven't tried clicking all of the links. I'd say they're still worth looking at, the home pages give a good window into the vibes.)

once you start poking around in these documents, you'll find a bunch of links to others with further information, the materials I've included here just contain what I feel to be the most relevant details to getting a broad feel for the whole game. once again, huge shout out to the statement remains server, I was barely in there as the ARG was in progress and only ducked my head in every so often to find links like these. true mvps of the fandom.

[phantomrose96]

how scary is the silt verses? i want to get into it bc you're saying so much good stuff about it, but i had to stop listening to the magnus archives because it was keeping me up at night :(

hmmmmmmmmmmm I have to think about this a little bit, because scariness in podcasts doesn't bother me much so it's entirely possible for there to be Some Great Horror I'm just not thinking of.

Relative to TMA! I'd say The Silt Verses horror elements are less frequent than TMA, considering the TMA format is to tell One Fucked Up Story every single episode. The Silt Verses does not have that format so it can go episodes at a time digging through the narrative.

But it does have horrific things that pop up which could belong to a TMA episode. A Deer That's Wrong, fishermen sewn together into a fucked-up boat thing, whatever body-horror Val does to people. I do think the flavor is different from TMA. A lot of those TMA horrors are from the perspective of normal civilians, unwillingly subjected to A Horror. In TSV, most everyone encountering The Horrors is ready to start punching. But still like... The Horrors ARE very much there, and part of it.

Though, there is a flavor of horror in TSV which I don't think is very prevalent in TMA, which is this "you're about to be killed and everyone in society is okay with this, actually" style of horror. There's a plot point where a company which is, essentially, going through lay-offs, is allowed to kill the people they're letting go as part of a sacrifice. And the POV character (who is not being laid off) is experiencing this whole thing going "this surely can't be right. they surely can't?" But they do, and she's complicit.

So... yes...! TSV is scary! But it's a kind of scary which is more baked into the society the characters are navigating, vs. the TMA-style "spend every episode one a different Horror Incident that happened"

[possibility-left]

Good Omens fic recs #50

long distance by thingswithwings - A/C, 4k words.  A little bit of post S2 sadness.  Aziraphale is watching Crowley from Heaven through the eyes of small animals.  Crowley is not pleased by it.  Soft and sad without being overwhelming.

Plush Toys, or, Madame Tracy Knows All by CopperBeech - A/C, Tracy/Shadwell, Anathema/Newt, 3k words.  A very fun little story just pre- and then just post-Armageddidn't in which Tracy gives some good advice, and takes it.  Great voices for all the characters.

Covenant of Salt by thingswithwings - A/C, 18k words.  After S2, every time Aziraphale returns to Earth, he and Crowley fuck, but don't really resolve anything.  Great angry sex that eventually has to become something else, involving actual conversations and forgiveness and hope.  There's a lovely scene where Crowley makes friends with a bunch of queer folks that I found really touching.  This doesn't resolve S3 plot points but I don't feel like that was necessary.

P. granatum by nieded - A/C, Crowley/Lilith, 41k words.  This is such a cool concept for a story.  In ancient Greece, Crowley ends up raising a demon baby who isn't demonic enough, and struggles over his feelings for and relationship with Aziraphale.  Read the tags because there is some character death here but I thought it was a really interesting story.  I really liked the way niedad blended together the GO-verse with the traditional Greek pantheon.  It feels very much like a Greek tragedy, but there's a soft landing.

Close Your Eyes by CopperBeech - A/C, 8k words.  Post Armageddidn't, Aziraphale soft doms Crowley into feeling happy.  One of the most romantic and soft stories I've ever read that involves this type of dynamic.  Some really good dialogue and a lovely, quiet ending.

[shitboy96]

Podcast recs please!

Basically I listened to a lot of the adventure zone and then tried branching out to other actual play shows but didn’t find anything that matched the level of humour and storytelling in taz (particularly balance obv)

Since went onto horror, loved the Magnus archives, caught up on protocol, and then listened to the silt verses and malevolent. I liked the silt verses a lot but found it wasn’t scary enough? And a lot of yapping. Similarly malevolent is good (just started s5) but the game quality of it I feel makes it a bit messy in terms of storytelling and structure. I need characters I need plot line I need spooks

With that in mind, any recs? I’m looking for horror but will take anything. I’m fishing around trying out things like video palace, old gods of Appalachia. I want something I can get invested in, extra points if it gives me the heebie jeebies.

Thanks!

[parf-fan]

Masterlist of recent PARF videographers

Inspired by a comment on my update of sorts in which the commenter stated that it had never occurred to them to see if anyone had filmed PARF, I present to you a post I have been intending to make literally since starting this blog.

● Michael Ulrich – PARF footage as far back as 2004, hitting stride around 2015, stopping at the end of 2022. Most of the older stuff is scattered in amongst the 2018 footage and again between 2020 and 2021. An excellent source for a one-off example of most in-house shows each year. Quite important for reviewing the Megan-Zach-Mary 'verse. Some of the highest-quality footage. ● Renaissance Road Trips (formerly known as maddog015) – PARF footage as far back as 2007. More out-of-house stuff than in-house, though they've been expanding to include a little more in-house in recent years. Contains footage from many different Faires, so sifting will be required if you are exclusively interested in PARF. Divides shows up into many pieces, which is handy if you want to reference a specific moment, but cumbersome if you want to just watch a whole show. Footage quality is perfectly reasonable, though not professional-level. Home of THE Halloween Finale of 2017.

● PARF Performers (formerly known as wavking) – PARF footage from 2011 through 2021, excepting 2014 and 2020. Filming is somewhat scattered and not systematic until around 2016. Occasional videos from NJRF and from non-Faire events taking place on PARF grounds. Overall the best source for Finales and an even selection of everything else for 2016-2018, petering off in 2019. Indispensable for reviewing the Megan-Zach-Mary 'verse, though less so the Mary part. Footage quality is perfectly reasonable, though not professional-level.

● Steve Kossor – PARF footage as far back as 2013. Very little in-house stuff; mostly focused on the artists who fall under the heading of “musicians of the shire”, both individually and as a whole. Plenty of stuff from other Faires, too. Most videos are clearly labeled. If you never got to witness the actual Pub Sing from the Before Times, this is where to look, particularly 2019. Very fancy filming, often including multiple cameras at different angles on the same day (goals tbh). Occasional interviews and such. Scattered throughout are videos completely unrelated to Faire, 'cause he's gotta put 'em somewhere.

● MerlinWinchestr – PARF footage as far back as 2013. Hits stride in 2016 (I think), at which point she carefully archives one example of each main-season plotline show, and sometimes Halloween, as well as scattered highlights. Literally the only person besides me to actually bother with non-Halloween plot before 2018, for which I owe her a small portion of my soul. Indispensable for reviewing the Megan-Zach part of the Megan-Zach-Mary 'verse. Nothing from PARF in 2018 or 2019 due to moving to a different state, but filmed stuff from other Faires in the interim. Picked up again in 2020, and expanded the number of shows filmed. Recent videos are carefully labeled. Footage quality is perfectly reasonable, though not professional-level. Scattered throughout are many clips from various unrelated concerts and cons and sometimes reenactment, as well as quite a lot of fandom edits of (predictably) both Merlin and Supernatural.

● Joseph Germano – PARF footage as far back as 2015. Almost entirely in-house; largely storyline, combat, improv. Initially filmed things exclusively for himself and his family, not listing the videos publicly for years. As such, the quality of camerawork can occasionally leave something to be desired (though much less, in my opinion, than he claims), hence his playlist called “MeadVision”. Filled the void left by PARF Performers's petering off, and is owed a small portion of my soul for archiving so much Disasterpiece in 2019. Footage quality is perfectly reasonable, though not professional-level. Chronology is a mere suggestion until 2021.

● PARF fan – If you're interested in 2017 plotline and combat, I've got everything I filmed up on the YouTube except for Halloween Joust and Halloween Finale. I've also got loads of raw footage of in-house stuff from the first half the 2020 season over on the Facebook. Effort is made with cinematography, though it sometimes backfires. Videos are carefully labeled, but only in the titles, not the thumbnails. Footage quality is perfectly tolerable, though far from professional-level, and the sound is sometimes bad (didn't have a fancy camera until the 2022 season). Indispensable for reviewing 2017, frankly.

● PA Renaissance Faire – PARF footage from 2018 only. One each Court, Melee, Bloody Best, some of the main-season individual Chess fights, Halloween Court, Halloween Chess, and a whole bunch of in-house songs from sundry Finales, many of which were not archived in any other form elsewhere (that I know of).

● Ren Faire with Rose – PARF footage as far back as 2018. Nigh-on exclusively in-house. Mostly highlights rather than entire shows. Features occasional streetwork, particularly from 2019, which is beyond value. Mostly chronological, but 2022 and 2023 and 2024 are intermittently jumbled. Tbh, I haven't gotten around to watching enough of their footage to comment on the quality of camera or camerawork.

● Dan Gualtieri – The newest member of this “team” (none of us actually coordinate or otherwise work together, though we should). Videos from 2022, 2023, and 2024. Mixture of highlights and full shows. Has already filled several gaps. I haven't actually watched any of his videos yet, so I cannot provide comment on camera or camerawork.

[topazadine]

Writer Questionnaire

As I prepare for the workday (sigh) I'm going to take a few minutes and hop in on the craze! Please go read @illarian-rambling's answers over here!

1. Is writing a hobby or way of life?

Way of life. Not only is my day job writing, but I spend pretty much all my free time writing my silly stories too. It's all I have ever known and all I ever do.

2. A journal full of writing notes or a clean, completed manuscript?

Clean manuscript. I double outline, meaning that I write a long, looong outline and a short outline with just the bullet points I desperately need. This keeps me from losing momentum while I'm writing because I don't feel like I've done the whole thing and don't need to write it. This sounds confusing, so let me show you what I mean. Here's the long outline for a chapter:

... and this is the short outline.

I then leave a comment on the chapter header in the actual Word document, something like "Cavalry confronts Uileac and Cerie," so I don't need to look back on the outline if I don't want to. Oh, and I do not work on WIPs simultaneously. Ever. One at a time. Can't relate to the people who say "hehe I have a million WIPs that are all half done." Like, girl, why do you think they're all half-done? Because your brain is overloaded with details for too many different plots. Jot down a note and get to it later. Otherwise all those things are going to stay half-done.

3. Who (or what) is your writing inspiration?

I started getting into fiction writing again after a long, long break because of Touken Ranbu, so we'll just say my beloved Uguisumaru.

My king .... I love you ... my darling ....

4. Which is worse: someone you "idolize" reading your first draft or listening to you sing?

Neither of those are particularly torturous to me. I guess singing.

5. Has writing from someone else's POV ever changed your own perspective?

It's very strange, but as a lesbian, I didn't really banish my own internalized homophobia until I started writing slash fic. Even in my own sapphic relationships, I always felt there was something 'wrong' about it and that our relationships weren't as valid as a straight couple. This was due to a lot of very violent homophobia imposed on me by others that made me really struggle to accept being gay. Writing about so many gay couples helped normalize it for me and feel more confident in my own sexuality. I no longer see gay couples as somehow apart from heterosexual relationships but just as deep and loving. In fact, writing stuff like the Moonbeam and Crane series was the push I needed to fully come out as a lesbian and stop pretending I was attracted to men, which is bizarre because, you know, I was writing about men banging. And then I went on to write gay longing and, eventually, a whole gay af series <3

6. Tumblr, AO3, LiveJournal, or FFN?

Archive of Our Own and Amazon :)

7. AO3 wordcount, and are you satisfied with it?

Quite satisfied with it! I did my million words of practice and then some before moving on to original fiction.

8. What movie/book/fic gripped you irrevocably?

Remainder by Tom McCarthy. It has this lulling menace about it. I loved the repetition and the incredible environmental descriptions. Another favorite is Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell, which really encouraged me to get more experimental with my work. And my all-time favorite, Moby Dick. I've read it three times and keep meaning to go back for a fourth read; every time, I find something different to love about it. I started it again a bit ago and this time, I was focusing on the relationship between Ishmael and Queequeg.

9. What’s the highest compliment you’ve ever been given, and have you been given it?

This comment by Wapato_Sprout is the one that convinced me that I was ready to start writing original fiction:

I'm not kidding: I started writing Poesy, the full-length book in the Eirenic Verses series, like one week later. Then went and started filling in the back with shorter stories lmao. Being able to write two original characters with depth, goals, and motivations that people really cared about was such a rush, especially because I'd been told before that my original characters were more plot devices than people. And this should be your reminder that your comments on fanfiction matter a LOT! You may be the push to get a writer to start taking more risks and maybe even writing their own original fiction. Around the same time, my boss randomly told me that I should do more with my writing than just crafting business emails. I like to think that was a bit of divine intervention, to get two nudges from people I respect almost simultaneously. And hey look where it's gotten me! I'm writing a seven-part series now!

10. What defines your writing style?

My background in poetry gives my prose a sense of lyricism and movement. I think about whether my prose would flow like a poem when read aloud, and I hear that rhythm in my head when I write. It also means I know when to go short and choppy, or when to use long, moving description. I would not be anywhere near the writer I am today without those years of practice.

Open tag!

(I think most of the people I would tag were tagged elsewhere lmao)

[aethergate]

⭐

REWIND & CHROMEDOME

okay well i feel like this ones obvious. but it's because it's true to me i love these two. i think their dynamic is so interesting what if we decided to not end it all for the sake of each other.. but there's this strange thing happening where they know each other but not as well as before, because they're different versions of the person they knew. i'd love to go more in depth about how that shift effects them, and how they adjust and end up loving each other still but somewhat differently due to circumstance. their dynamic is so interesting i could ramble on about it but for the sake of this post i will not. as for plots i diverge a bit as for how they end up, instead him him getting stuck in his alt mode, he's working on expanding his archive to earth and other colonies connecting to cybertron! fun stuff. i'd love to write just about anything with them honestly.

TAILGATE & MEGATRON

I think these two are really funny based off the premise that Tailgate sorta missed the whole war and pretty much everything Megatron did. If I remember the time where he was before getting knocked out I think he missed everything actually. Which is really funny to me, because while Tailgate very much understands why other people are wary, he sort of... doesn't personally get it. There's a disconnect there. This is a stranger to him who he's only heard has done bad things. Obviously he gets to hear more and more about stuff he did, and see Megatron talk about it directly, all that stuff, but I feel like it's a really interesting aspect of their dynamic to discover. As seen by everything with Cyclonus at first, he's very hard to properly shake or make properly regard you as unreachable. So I think it'd be really fun and interesting to see how that plays out with these two.

okay and now i'm gonna hit you with a quick list of other ones i'd be interested in with maybe a few bullet points but nothing in depth. TAILGATE & RATCHET , because while I haven't read MTMTE in a HOT minute, I remember them having a fun friendship! WHIRL & WHEELJACK because, I don't trust myself to actually WRITE whirl until i reread the older comics and mtmte, i feel like there's history there or at the very least a very fun dynamic to be had. BUMBLEBEE & TAILGATE for the vibes I feel this in my soul. and if you'll let me cheat for a second and bring up sideblogs, i feel like this is obvious, STARSCREAM & MEGATRON. I have a MTMTE / LL verse for her, and I think it'd be super interesting to see how they'd cope with dealing with each other after the war. I have a hard time putting my thoughts into words here, but the war is lost, and I think it'd be interesting to see them navigate around each other with new circumstances. Lot of complexities to sort out between each other, trying to avoid falling back into old toxic cycles where they bring out the worst of each other. I have too many thoughts that'd make this post longer than it is, but if you'd ever wanna brainstorm something there just lmk and I'd love to discuss :]! Both for like these ideas for them and just in general cause I wanna make sure we can handshake and I don't wanna step on your toes at all ever. last but not least if i can cheat and mention a sideblog of YOURS, KNOCKOUT & STARSCREAM eaugayagah i LOVE their dynamic so bad SO BAD i think they're so interesting. I know yours is a mix, and I find that inch resting as well and would love to see how that blends together!

[astro-break]

New hypmic anime season and I'm BACK IN THE FUCKING BUILDING AGAIN (I feel like the Martha I'm coming home sweetie audio)

Thoughts on the 1st ep of Hypmic Rhyme Anima+. Spoilers beware

New plotline lets gooooooo I like that they're straying away from the drama tracks actually, Rhyme Anima is fundamentally a different experience from the core drama tracks which gives new material for both new and old fans OP is an actual banger, Ramuda's verse is the best fight me all you want but you know i'm right Nemu!! uh spoiler chara for anyone new to the anime I guess? Like they spoil her right at the introduction and iirc they didn't really build off her mystery in the first season. Makes her impact here a bit weaker but I'm willing to let it slide since some might not catch it (Post Editing Astro here: I haven't rewatched Rhyme Anima since it finished airing and uh. Nemu definitely was a plot point there lol they dropped it after ep 11 but she was there!) Jyushi my son I love you so much you idiot I love the little stingers for each team that they did for each team, its so cute and gives so much personality The visuals have definitely improved, a big step above the last season in terms of animation i don't see an improvement with story writing though… Pacing is still all over the place and very squished/fast paced makes sense since the cast has grown by a quarter since last season but still makes me sad that there isn't much time given to each character individually I forgot how much I love the localization of Doppomine Okay so Pink hair and Green hair in the flashback are most definitely the two in the white cloaks. Theres just no subtly with this series lmaoooo Nice that they were able to incorporate everyone somehow but too many people means that too many parts to handle I'm getting deja vu, this exact same thing happened last season…. Oh. Its the same guy. Makes sense lmfao Listen bud I have minimal rap experience but that rap was just embarrassing wow. No rhyme or flow, there was only straight passion which i mean props I guess but you suck ass Look at me being so smart and predicting all of these ahead of time without looking at any materials Did Rio just contact Jyuto with his hypmic???? Samatoki have I ever said that I love your for being a bullheaded idiot? bc I do. you're so silly Damn the typography has gotten even better, its just a lot more smooth and the animation too especially during Jiro's part is just so stylish The animation has improved a lot I'm glad it got a little more love compared to last season My guess is that maybe someone from the six divisions will fall under the anger thingy that's going around, something like the stage show. My biggest guess is that they might re-incite the Samatoki and Ichiro conflict again but I hope not. Another guess is that there will be old MCD or Naughty Busters beef which seems more plausible given that this is Sasara and Kuko's anime debut but I guess we'll wait and see THE OUTFITS!!! THE STUPID OUTFITS I LOVE THEM the art style of the ED is super pop punk and has a strong sense of style which i love. its simple but stands out really well which i love Very jjk but more toned down. Feels a bit like a cleaned up croquis drawings the smear frames is just so stylish and good, very simple and a bit messy and sells the gesture drawing kind of feel of the ED Ramuda's parrot costume i love you Those hand signs just make the first letter of each word which is really fun. Not proper JSL though I guess beggars can't be choosers esp for a series like this

Overall, a really strong start. It shows how it built off the first season and where it improved and while some things (like the horrid pacing) never change, at the end of the day its still a fun and delightful watch

If anyone wanted to read my thoughts on the first season, they're all archived here

[honeybyte]

Can you explain all your OCs and worldbuilding in detail? I've always seen these beautiful drawings and sketches of your character is based on song lyrics and stuff, but I've never really figured out much from a cursory scroll of your blog

OKAY i'm gonna take this as an invitation to spill my guts abt my verses. so let me start by saying these get tweaked all the time, little details might change but generally once i settle on a plot it typically stays the same. And, for the most part, these are all outlines w scenes and A》B subject to change. BUT 👏

Honey Verse Compendium: Start!

Axe + Cleaver

》Agnes, Elle, Goliath, Angus, Euan, Odelia

Agnes Laroche is a theologian hellbent on writing an esssy of the Harlach Parish, a cult in a small town called Kencree. While searching for leads she meets Elle Sinclaire, a butcher in the Rhodes District of Kencree who specializes in. Less popular cuts for the smaller crowd. Elle points her in the direction of Goliath Abernathy, a former cult member and champion for the priestess Odelia Harlach.

As it turns out, the Harlach Parish is darker than Agnes imagined; members offer pieces of themselves to the priestess for her favor, trophies she collects in reliquaries. Her most favored happens to be an eye she keeps on a necklace, stolen from Goliath shortly before he left her court. As Agnes pokes around (meeting blacksmith Angus Reid and unwilling court member Euan Harlach), she catches Odelia's attention, who makes a bid to ensnare her in the cult. Outraged and fueled by old anger, Goliath finds his way into her church and a confrontation. He takes back his eye, steals documentation, and sets the church alight.

The town will take time to heal, but Odelia's death is everything she didn't want it to be: quiet and unremarkable, alone in a dark hall.

Flock

》Kaz, Valentine, Mozzwood, Gabriel, Neera

Years after a series of HEMP bombs take out tech worldwide, knowledge on agriculture and horticulture are considered scarce and precious. Kaz, a tractor driver, and Mozzwood, a variant of apex predator gone anxious, are traveling cross country looking for... something. Neither is quite sure yet. They meet a ghost from Kaz's past, a seed dealer and arsonist named Valentine. In a fight to understand their actions comes the revelation Valentine was a cult child-- one that burned down the church that kept them captive, and who continues to burn churches now. Its cleansing, they say.

During their journey, Valentine burns one more church, saving a single little girl named Gabriel. This event inspires a new direction for the group: a cross-country trek to find Kaz's mother and shelter with her.

From there, the story is a road trip. It comes with the ups and downs of having a family along for the ride, with the trials of tribulations that comes with adventuring across a post-apocalyptic land. But they find Kaz's mother, find a safe place with her, and build a home.

Red Heron

》Alec, Librarian, Johann, Kairos

The Red Heron Project is an experiment in body modification, its extreme and practical uses. Alec and the Librarian are abandoned projects, experiments deemed failed but just functional enough to keep in the program as archivists. They rarely receive visitors (there's often fights when they get them), and they like it just so. Its when the doctor Johann and their subject Kairos visit that things become strange.

Alec has never known much about the Librarian; they met in the archives and he's never seen the actual body behind the modification. It happens that Johann knows everything there is to know about the Librarian-- in fact, they're the one that made it. The question isn't so much where the body is as much as it is who has access to it? Certainly not Johann, and definitely not Alec. Not now that they're both considered failed experiments.

Now. How do they get the body back?

Farmer's Bible

》Eremiah, Garrett

This is admittedly my most threadbare concept. What I know is this:

Garrett is a priest in a small town beset by a plague, one which consumes the host via spore and mycelium. The host becomes feverish, then demented, then becomes a mushroom, and Garrett is sick to death of watching his people die. He sets out to find patient zero, tracking lead after lead, until he is brought back to his hometown, and the woods behind it. He finds patient zero there: a man named Eremiah, who keeps to himself and tends an infected farm.

Eremiah doesn't really know he's infected, and if he did he wouldn't much care, benefit of having a mushroom for a brain. The real trial for Garrett is whether it would sit right with him to kill a man like Eremiah, someone who just happened to wander into town with a bad cough.

Kor

》Adriana, Frogmouth, Grace, Andrew

Adriana spends her whole life blaming herself for the death of her best friend when she was a child. Wrought with grief and self-blame, she becomes skilled in ways she shouldn't and takes up work as a mercenary. Work eventually brings her home, where she meets a strange jester with the circus visiting town. She calls him Frogmouth when he won't say his name, but soon annoyance turns to fondness as he gives her a peek of his world. She takes up singing, something she hasn't done for years, and finds herself a new life within the tents. She can almost leave her grief behind like this. Almost.

Alas, work brings her to an audience with the duchess of the town and her advisor. In a breakdown of negotiations, a fight ensues, and Frogmouth finds himself at the center of it. He steps in to protect Adriana, but in the process loses his mask, shattering against the edge of a blade as it reveals the face of the elusive jester:

Adriana's childhood friend, Kor.

[silenthillmutual]

i keep looking at my own fic ideas from like a couple years ago that i have outlines for and going "wow, i really don't want to write these!" so here's a comprehensive list of fanfics i still have on my desktop which i have started but made litle progress on:

masterpiece theatre - an akira/mob psycho 100 crossover. the premise of this one was that tetsuo managed to create an alternate universe at the end of the film/manga, which was the mp100 universe. he's just kind of there trying to live a normal life while navigating the trauma from his past life. naturally this does not work out well and he winds up both meeting people from the akira 'verse and people from the mp100 'verse. i think i had in mind that it would end roughly around the first season of mp100. anyway this was roughly inspired by my musings about mp100 reminding me of a sort of inverse of akira's storyline that i can no longer articulate because it has been years since i read mp100 all the way through.

cause - this was just going to be a complete rewrite of rebel without a cause where i fixed what i saw as a pacing issue with the film and also gave more context to the characters' lives because i have a love/hate relationship with the original

it's not my party, but i'll still cry if i want to - a really short fic that was taking characters from rebel without a cause and plopping them into a modern 'verse just for the sake of having jim infodump about the 50s while sulking because he thinks judy & plato are doing something together and generally having rsd

where worlds collide and days are dark - all i got is that it's for mgs and i still have a hold of this document despite it just being snippets of fic i wrote like years ago.

statement of daniil dankovsky // statement of artemy burakh - magnus archives crossovers for pathologic, the first one being daniil's statement about the world being alive (based on pathologic classic) and the second one being artemy's statement about seeing daniil die, only to be "replaced" by another actor the following day while everyone else acts like nothing ever happened.

when you finally get involved, face to face - danganronpa ishimondo fic that was a project to see if i could focus long enough to write 100k. instead of getting together as teenagers, the fic would take place over the span of 10 years, where they'd get together as adults. i was really excited about this one when i started it, but people started being transmisogynist in the comments so i stopped working on it and got into pathologic instead.

a document titled 'cool ishimaru has a chill day with boyfriend' which i think was about ishimaru discovering he's trans, that was meant to be a non-despair au and with everyone being generally supportive of him.

flaws - danganronpa fic where taka talks to makoto about feeling possessive and how horrible it feels but i never actually finished or published it. it's pretty much done now... i could go back and edit it down to where i'm satisfied with it but i don't know :/

i wanna ruin our friendship (we should be lovers instead) - some kind of au where either it's non-despair or everyone lives... it was going to have hina and taka bonding over having crushes on their best friends who are oblivious. it was gonna be from hina's pov bc i love her

in the middle - okay this one i swear i will write one day... whenever i replay trigger happy havoc... it was going to be a polyamory fic where mondo is dating chihiro, who used to date taka and desperately wants mondo and taka to be friends. they'd be in college here. chihiro is transfem and taka is transmasc and mondo realizes he's nonbinary i think was a plot point. anyway,

an untitled danganronpa fic wherein hope's peak decides the classes need mentors and taka picks juzo, w ho came out of the closet for the express purposes of getting out of having to mentor anybody. but taka thinks it was very brave of him and wants advice on coming out despite being a public figure.

letters - this was just going to be eight, thirty-one from taka's pov

jojo's despaire adventure - jojo characters put in a danganronpa situation. pretty sure polnareff was going to be the protag of this one. it was going to be a simulation dio was running to try and rewrite the universe, hence why so many characters from so many parts were there and also had no memory of each other. i think kakyoin was going to be the first casualty.

all of my started but unfinished assorted jjba works you can still find on ao3: next chapter of cherry wine was going to have a karaoke section because fox gave me the funniest image of hol horse singing a shitty maroon 5 song. i have no idea where i was headed with heads on a science apart. not sure what the next chapter of heart of glass was going to be and i don't feel like pulling up the outline but i can tell you how it ended if anyone is curious about that. she told me to come but i was already there - there was going to be a battle of the bands kind of thing wherein we were going to get hol horse singing 'ride a horse, save a cowboy'. that was the highlight of the chapter and i don't remember what else i had planned for it. starfish crusaders was going to have a mechanic where some of the joestars were part merpeople and could transform at will. warmth, though, i have no idea where i was going with that.

alexithymia - a patho fic exploring the turmoil of not knowing, understanding, or articulating your own feelings. with daniil, of course.

something just titled 'angst outline' that is for a long form pathologic angst fic i was never going to write because i was convinced nobody was going to read it. it was going to be burda but with even more problems and issues and angst for the sake of angst.

a fic about artemy's insomnia

some unspcified fics about daniil being autistic

bio murky - okay this is really obvious but the reason to read the fic was that it was transmasc artemy. essentially artemy and daniil met and hooked up and maybe started falling in love in the capital and then artemy left for home unexpectedly... because he was pregnant. i think this was going to be an everyone lives kind of au or potentially even a no-sand pest au.

a blurb about andrey and his bipolar disorder

e pluribus unem - if i ever actually write this one i'll have to find a title that won't invoke such a knee-jerk reaction but anyway this was a fic about daniil going about wooing artemy by making amends/friends with those of artemy's bound. it was going to be told in little shorts of daniil meeting with the kids. originally i wrote this from daniil's pov but i think if i write this one i'll do it from the kids' povs.

a blurb about daniil having a breakdown after the end of classic

let's climb the cliff edge and jump again - this was gonna be a fic about daniil and andrey's tentative friendship in university where andrey is a horrible influence, a horrible friend, and a horrible brother. it was loosely inspired by my toxic girl friendships i had in college [a/n: i was a girl in college] and the first time i got high. i wanted it to be My Dandrey Fic but without happy dandrey at the end... hints of griefdrey instead... and again thinking about andrey's bipolar disorder because i'm always thinking about it!

a mark/rubin fic that was gonna be nsfw.

mystical inclinations - a soulmate au with tattoos i think? polyamory and platonic soul mates were going to be a thing in this au but i kind of don't remember what i was doing with it.

another pregame burda au

a fic i started where rubin is mortified to be caught in between artemy and daniil's...whatever

a fic about artemy & daniil's first kiss

talk too much - daniil, who is usually a smoother talker, has a habit of sticking his foot in his mouth whenever artemy is around

another fic entry in my modern au thing, where artemy's kids meet daniil for the first time

vince malum bono - clara talking to each of her bound on the last few days of the plague, patho-2 version

when my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold, dark earth - this was going to be mashing up daniil and artemy's routes (and at the end, clara's as well). with burda. of course.

when the day met the night - burda fic where daniil is about to get taken out by the government because he's a criminal against common sense and good morals, and artemy panics and tells the emmisaries who show up that they can't take daniil because they are to be married, and they can't take the menkhu's husband. and of course the emmissaries aren't stupid so they say they'll be back for the wedding. very romcom.

[dispatches-from-the-lorecord]

Forrest’s jirachi has a history with the Voices

[February 4, 2023]

{Haji:}

This post came across my dash, and remind me to ramble about Jirachi :HYPERRACC:

But the long of it is we have a history with Jirachi that makes me wonder what it even IS in the TPP verse

{Mitzi:}

revo :WutFace:

{Haji:}

Oh yeah, including Dev powers if we include Revo :Keepo:

So if Forrest was given form or freedom or whatever with Jirachi's help, it's... Possibly plotting something

See, in my hc, Jirachi really doesn't like us. And by Us, I mean Voices because it has worked with Hosts before, it's just that it seems 9/10 Jirachi only ever comes with us under weird circumstances so it's a matter of the host getting its trust.

Unfortunately, only one host I think has managed to not break that trust, which again is why this thing doesn't like us :tppWowee:

(that host being Petra btw. Still under weird circumstances, but Petra is a girl who gets it because Glitchmancy)

I'm not sure what the relationship is with Marina, but I'm not so familiar with later Metro Sapphire lore

The point is, in my lore Jirachi itself is The Wish Maker, a shapeshifting Glitch of the highest rank (because in my lore the Glitches have a hierarchy. This goes all the way back to S2 lore when someone coined the term for the level of glitch possessing XD was a Corporal) maybe even up there with Phancero, possibly just below it

{Newbie:}

...this gives me a new way of looking at the whole Forrest-Jirachi dynamic, ngl

{Haji:}

Yeah which is why rereading that conversation on the archive post made me go "wait... AHHHHHH :HYPERRACC: "

The shapeshifting idea came up in RandY when we rescued "Yveltal" but it was randomized to Jirachi. We failed to catch it and when we tried again, the cutscene and battle apparently counted separately so it got re-randomized to Registeel. Most of us joked Jirachi was pissed and summoned a mech to come after Venus and she's just running around the corner chamber screaming while throwing Pokeballs behind her. Because it's a scripted battle, so if we ran away from it, the game was like "Yveltal wants you to fight!" And just starts the battle again so no escape, had to catch 😂

Then we had Wooper 1 where the lore was Santa's Delibird can make all your wishes come true because it's bag is apparently a void you can draw anything from. Then it turned out to be a glitch and we teased that's the source of Santa's magic because he glitched several times too like frozen flying animation, going invisible, opening holes in the wall ect. Rocket Boss Shawn said he wanted to use Delibird to summon endless Master Balls, which is more of a Missingno trait but whatever

And then Petra got her Jirachi through debug menu. Like I said, she kinda gets this thing in the way Santa did. Fun Glitchmancy to do (relative?) good in the world unlike what happened with Goomtha, Shawn, Lysander, and Venus shoved it in the box (because while Yveltal is scripted to join the party, somehow the randomizer broke that part I guess since we failed the cutscene battle. So there was no prompt to add it to the team). Auguste probably falls into that category too now since he was bffs with this thing and then it got killed and he got cursed so.... :KEKWhands:

And I laughed to imagine the Registeel Mars found when looking for Cobalion is actually Jirachi using it's mech again to tell the Voices to fuck off as the old man in the cave told us the legendary hiding there has a deep hatred of humans after all it's been through

ALL ANYONE WANTS IT FOR IS ITS POWER :HaunterFU:

Which... Not wrong. Even if the Voices would like to befriend it at some point this history cuts deep

{Newbie:}

i seem to recall reading about an encounter with jirachi in storm silver and how chat ended up choosing to wish for money instead of a battle to catch it :Kappa:

{Haji:}

This would not surprise me 😅

So yeah, Jirachi trying to help Forrest is interesting to me. Whether as a fellow glitch and it feels pity for the little one facing the cruel reality of how humans treat Glitches or it's because it feels a deeper connection with him and genuinely grants him a wish because he's deserving of it, this is... Well... Interesting for me to analyze further

also I need to see the new Pinocchio since I hear the depiction of Blue Fairy has an interesting interpretation

But what are your thoughts? :BegWan:

{Newbie:}

i mean, i put a lot of my thoughts in the fic i wrote. Forrest -- before he's Forrest -- is the glitch that sprang out from Quotes's bag and nearly killed her in Hoenn, the Voices lash out and toss him into the sea, Jirachi finds this glitch with remnant Voice-energy clinging to it and is like... "if this is an ally, the last thing i want is to abandon it. but if this is an enemy, i should probably have a countermeasure in place". so they turn Forrest into a human (defenseless, powerless on its own, the alternative was a Pokemon that could possibly run amok) and are like "ok, if you can prove you aren't dangerous, i can make you not a glitch. you've got x amount of time until that new body falls apart" and then dumps him in Unova

{Haji:}

I remember this :Burrito1:

{Newbie:}

jirachi shows up early in redux and replaces the bianca tutorial, so it like... seemed appropriate that it would be involved somehow

the fact that it took two separate attempts to catch jirachi gives me some Thoughts about forrest's whole potential-revenge arc. especially with the idea of glitches as corrupted casualties to destroyed worlds.

"you have too much anger in you," the wishmaker says, eyes critical.

forrest balls his fists. the Voices murmur uneasily in his head. "don't you think i have a right to be angry?"

"you do."

"then what's the issue?"

"i said you needed to prove yourself benign." jirachi coils its ribbons around its body, gaze still placid and bored. "you have yet to do that."

"that--"

"you have three months left until that body gives out on you. it seems you have your work cut out for you, host. until then."

there is a brilliant flash of light, bright as burning stardust. when forrest blinks the dots from his eyes, jirachi is gone, and the dreamyard is nothing but mist and empty space and stone walls that echo with the aftermath of an unrealized miracle

something like that, is how i imagine it going :RaccAttack:

{Haji:}

I have no idea why but I just had the random image of

~Three years earlier~

Hughr: [Making a wish on the wishing star. He's going through a bad time right now] Send me a friend who won't run away. Maybe you could send me an angel! The nicest angel you have...

~Cut to later with Quotes getting fucking murdered over here~

Uh.... He'll get there eventually :Keepo:

{Newbie:}

the other idea i'm now having is that Jirachi actually encouraged this and is trying to stoke a conflict between the hosts or something. maybe it thinks the Voices and their allies are getting too much power or something 🤔

{Haji:}

That I could definitely see

Like I said, this thing has NO reason to like us

oh shit, would that explain the PWT and why Forrest has to fight everyone?

{Newbie:}

jirachi teleports people who specifically have info on glitches and reality fuckery and drops them in forrest's path to stoke the fire

and then holds the whole "you're on a timer" thing over his head for even longer 🤔

{Haji:}

Forrest befriends them all, both confusing Jirachi and making it go "Well I guess that works too" because of the benign thing :tppLUL:

YOU LOSE, WISHMAKER

[codexnuminous]

1.) The first podcast I ever listened to was Welcome to Night Vale; the first podcast I ever listened to in it's entirety was, I believe, the Magnus Archives.

2.) None, yet, though I came close over The Silt Verses.

3.) Khoshekh, from WTNV/The owl that Carpenter from TSV actually had, the entire time. It just wasn't mentioned because it wasn't relevant to the plot.

4.) I really like the intros and outros for Old Gods of Appalachia, and Ain't Slayed Nobody has had some really good songs. And, of course, the Weathers from WTNV can be very catchy.

5.) None that I can think of, really. I'm generally pretty good at staying on top of podcast plots.

6.) I don't know about friends, but - it would be fun to set Carpenter loose on some other horror podcast protagonists - Jonathan Sims from The Magnus Archive, Cecil Palmer from WTNV. And I feel like Melanie from TMA and Paige from TSV would get along pretty well.

7.) Cecil and the Presenter from Monstrous Agonies - they just have such different radio hosting styles, they'd be like chalk and cheese.

8.) None - at least not any more. I find that with a lot of non-audio-drama podcasts - such as talk-shows and actual plays - it can be a bit hard to remember which voice goes with which name, but that's only at the start, and I tend to figure out who's who before too long.

9.) The Silt Verses, absolutely.

10.) The Silt Verses.

11.) None yet, although I'm planning a relisten of the Silt Verses once I've fully recovered. I'm also considering a relisten of TMA, at some point.

12.) The Silt Verses - not necessarily because I want more people to be able to talk to about it, but because it's a work of art, I think that anyone would benefit from listening to it, and because everyone who works on it is amazing and they deserve to have all of their work appreciated. Also, Deck of Many Aces. It's an actual play podcast that I've recently got into, and I'm really enjoying it and I think more people should check it out.

13.) Draw, go for walks, do jobs around the farm - all sorts of things.

14.) Carpenter, from The Silt Verses.

15.) Carson, from The Silt Verses.

16.) None that I can really think of.

17.) As you may have been able to guess from my other answers, The Silt Verses.

18.) None that I can think of.

19.) I don't really have one.

20.) Carpenter.

Podcast themed ask game cause I’m bored!

1.) what’s the first podcast you listened to?

2.) what’s a podcast you’ve cried over?

3.) Favorite podcast pet? (Idk if that’s worded weird but like if one of the characters has a cat or smth)

4.) what podcast has the best soundtrack/music?

5.) what’s a podcast that you really like but find it kinda hard to follow the plot?

6.) what characters from different podcasts do you think would be friends?

7.) what characters from different podcasts do you think would hate each other?

8.) what’s a podcast where you mix up the characters voices?

9.) what’s a podcast that you know the characters so well you can recognize their breathing?

10.) what’s a podcast that you wish you could listen to again for the first time?

11.) what’s a podcast you’ve listened to more than once?

12.) what’s a podcast you wish more people listened to?

13.) what do you like to do while listening to a podcast?

14.) who is a podcast character that you love?

15.) who is a podcast character you can’t stand?

16.) what songs do you associate with a certain character/ podcast?

17.) what’s a podcast that you can’t stop thinking about?

18.) are their any podcasts that you regret listening to?

19.) whose your favorite podcast couple?

20.) whose a podcast character that you think would dress really cool?

[lightdancer1]

Back when I first saw this show I went for 'OK if *I* created this Verse, what would I do with it':

And when the comics came out, I realized I did predict one arc that I did ultimately as a kind of 'Buffyverse meets Timeline-191' as a love letter to one of my favorite authors and favorite genres. Originally Nehemiah Malloy was Jefferson Featherston, and the Freedom Party was 100% a Turtledove riff instead of a 70% Turtledove riff that incorporated elements.

And that was mainly because 'supernatural fully exposed and the revelation the government was lying to people about it and trying to weaponize it allows a genocidal demagogue to rise to power exploiting actual demons and non-human monsters in the shadows' is a blindingly obvious plot point.

But after working on this thing since, essentially, I first started trying to write stories on my own I now have the satisfaction of fully doing 'Buffy if The Lightdancer had written it instead of Joss Whedon.' I'm sure there'd be plenty of stuff that'd be cringy as Hell and that might age poorly in its own ways in 20 years but this is ultimately my own vision, not his, and I am proud to say I've finally taken it from outline to finish.

And it starts and ends on the same note, the two witches whose journey is the lodestar this version of the Verse is written around meeting at the end as they did at the beginning, and an unironic and unapologetic assertion of love as superior to hatred, with the final chapter equally holding to one of my creative focuses with my own work.

Namely that the ends are to a point open ones, because while characters are vehicles to tell a story, the end of a story allows them to feel alive and like their decisions are their own, as an assertion of another truism that freedom and the ability to choose as one wills are innately good and in this small way this too can and should be asserted.

[archiveverseshenanigans]

Meeting Aitax and getting involved in the Clone Wars

And no those two things are not synonymous. 

As it turns out working for the senate pays really well and eventually, Zalia has more money than she knows what to do with. Especially since She started sharing a room with Jiya. Zalia, being the Jedi raised being that she is ultimately goes to Jiya for ideas on what to spend her money on.

Surprise! Jiya thinks she should get a ship. Yeah, no one is surprised. (Jiya is slightly surprised that Zalia is so good at saving her credits.)

And thus they gain a ship. Or well Zalia gains a ship and entrusts it to Jiya to pilot. Zalia is a decent pilot but Jiya is better.

They spend the next period of time exploring parts of the galaxy that they hadn't yet seen. On Jiya's days off that is. Eventually, Jiya drops her job in the senate as well and they permanently move onto the ship and earn credits with odd jobs when needed.

Jiya introduces Zalia to an old friend/older brother figure, Aitax, who spends his days as a mechanic. He teases the pair a lot and was very quick to adopt Zalia as his second younger sister (much to her delight). He is almost constantly neck-deep in the girl's ship as he does all sorts of modifications and upgrades. He falls asleep on their ship often enough that Zalia just set up a room for him on the ship. Eventually, he just moved onboard and that was that. He only really pretended to resist at first.

​Then began the Clone Wars

For the most part things for the trio continued as usual. Sometimes slightly longer routes were used to avoid space battles. And then Zalia was approached for a job. Or well kind of. Jocasta Nu seeks out Zalia one of the few times the trio is on Coruscant. Unlike most Jedi, she had actually noticed the missing presence. Mostly because no one else spent nearly as much time in the Archives as Zalia did. Master Nu however did not inform the council when it became obvious that they did not know. She had done her research first and been quite happy with Zalia's drive for knowledge. That and the force told her so.

Anyway.

Jocasta Nu had recently been made aware that they may be some plots involved in the war. And while the Council had decided against doing anything about it the force was urging her to do something. Meditating for quite some time on the issue she began creating a backup of what she deemed the most important documents. Mostly History of the Jedi, Medical Journals and other such information. (of course the whole thing with the Self Updating Jedi Holocron happened too but you don't keep all your eggs in one basket no?). When she had amassed a good deal of datachips she approached Zalia and asked her to keep them save in the case of the Republic falling. Zalia- our knowledge loving nerd- was pretty much always going to agree. She only hesitates to drag Jiya and Aitax into it. Jiya accepts for her. Aitax thinks his siblings can be really dumb sometimes.

So now they have a crate full of contraband datachips. Aitax begins to install some cavities in the ship to hide the various staches of chips.

They beginning plotting.

They're going to need to put all of these chips somewhere eventually and they're going to need more people too. Eventually. They have a big ship for now.

Of course, practical plotting quickly turns to plotting that is ... less practical. ie where else is there invaluable information that may be lost in the war and can they get their hands on it.

Aitax is mostly against the irrational extra danger his sisters would be putting themselves into.

At one point he tries to stage an intervention and says something along the lines of "And what will you do if they try shooting at you?" and naturally Zalia says that she would deflect the blaster fire with her lightsaber and proceeds to pull it out much to Aitax's surprise.

Then begins the are you a Jedi conversation but with much less making out afterwards.​

Aitax doesn't have any more arguments so they continue plotting.

But first new archive location. Eventually, they decide to set up on Hoth. Obviously, Zalia knows of an ancient Jedi structure that is supposed to be there so they go, scout, that out. It takes a lot of time and a fair bit of listening to the force to find the building. It had become a little bit buried over time. It's just a tad dilapidated and there has definitely been some wildlife in and out over the many many years it had been abandoned. However, it's not on the map and a building is a building, right? And so they reluctantly begin to clean up the mess the animals have left them and begin repairs on the structure.

The building itself is below the surface like a big burrow. Much smaller than the Jedi Temple on Coruscant but large enough that it'll be quite some time before they fill it up with knowledge.

Aitax is already planning on all the tech upgrades to make.

They quickly decide that they are going to need more credits if they're going to make this place more liveable.

And what pays well really, really quickly? Bounty Hunting and smuggling.

Of course, this calls for serious-time and talks where they discuss what they would and wouldn't do as a group.

Aitax makes a mental note to find a med bot.

[sunnyrosewritesstuff]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

So usually when I get to this point, I have a fic ready to go and post. However, this one is a little different. Based on the nature of this fic, I’m not going to reveal it until October. 👀

BUT!! Just like I have all week long, I’ll give you guys a VERY TINY sneak peek (because I’m still tweaking), and feel free to scroll down to see some AWESOME MIND-BLOWING ART that @mysandwichranaway​ did for me earlier this summer for this fic. 😍

Otherwise, don’t forget the previous six plot bunnies can be found here, and you have til SATURDAY to make sure your favorite fic remains in the lead and becomes my next major project!!

Thank you for making this another awesome year of BPB!!

Summary: When Tauriel asked Bilbo whom she jokingly calls her “work dad” to walk her down the aisle at her wedding, he honestly thought that would be the most surprised he’d be that week. Showing up to meet the groom and his family and discovering that he actually knows her uncle-in-law-to-be intimately well, nearly sent him into shock. And then, of course, there’s all the ghosts because why not get married in a haunted hotel?? 

Excerpt from Chapter 1: Father of the Bride

Bilbo couldn’t even begin to believe what he was hearing. A breathless laugh left him as he turned the corner, shaking his head. 

“Oh please, Bilbo!” Tauriel pleaded.

She had taken to trailing after him like a puppy as he removed binders of old case files from his arms to place back on the shelves in the archives. Every once in a while when he couldn’t quite reach, she effortlessly plucked it from his hands and put it away for him. He thanked her, moving on as if ignoring her outlandish request would make it disappear.

“I mean, I know we’re just work friends, but I’ve always thought of you as a sort of work dad.” She remarked.

Bilbo shot her a look. “It was the dumb jokes, wasn’t it?”

She grinned widely. “You are well versed in them.”

“‘A man sued an airline company after it lost his luggage, and sadly he lost his case’? It was clever.” Bilbo tried to argue.

“It’s very telling that you think so.” She teased. “But on a more serious note, Bilbo. You sort of took me under your wing when I first started at the firm. Showed me the ropes while the rest were…”

“Intimidated?” Bilbo filled in for her.

“I was going to say wary of a young red-haired woman wanting to make it big as a lawyer, but sure.”

Bilbo snorted, placing his last file away.

“I don’t think being ‘kind’ is enough qualification for what you’re asking. I mean, walking you down the aisle at your wedding…that’s a bit…personal.”

Bilbo finally gave her his attention, and he rather wished he hadn’t as her expressive eyes seemed to pin him with repressed sorrow. She shifted on her feet, before ducking her chin to stare at the ground between them with her arms crossed.

“My foster father refused to do it. He has…history with Kili’s family, and basically disowned me when I refused to call off the wedding.”

Bilbo crossed the distance to lay his hand on her shoulder.

“Oh Tauriel, I’m so sorry.”

She shrugged and tilted her head, but the tears she stubbornly held onto that caused her eyes to shine were far too telling of her true feelings. And with five simple words, the flood was released.

“I don’t have anyone else.” She whispered hoarsely.

Bilbo handed over his handkerchief before awkwardly pulling her down into a hug. It was a challenge when your female coworker was almost a foot taller than you, but if the way she sunk into the embrace was any indicator, he could tell Tauriel appreciated it. His right hand slowly reached back to play with his golden hoop earring. A nervous gesture of his that he jokingly blamed on why he stayed in the background as a paralegal rather than taking on cases like a true lawyer.

After a few more minutes, she finally released Bilbo, carefully wiping away the streaks of mascara under her eyes and blowing her nose. Bilbo silently mourned the death of that handkerchief, feeling guilty for the thought. He opened his mouth, ready to deny her request in the most gentle way possible, but instead all that came out was a heavy sigh. He gave her a little half-grin before taking hold of her free hand with both of his.

“I think you could do better than a stuffy old fool like me, but yes. Yes, I would be honored to walk you down the aisle on your wedding day.”

A squeal, reminding him of just how young Tauriel was despite how she acted in the office, was released and he found himself with a mouth full of red hair as she practically crushed him against her.

“Thank you, Bilbo. Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Bilbo gave a huff all in good fun as he pat her back. 

“It is absolutely the least I could do.”

***

Excerpt from Chapter 2: Touring the Venue

“And we can consider this as place for the reception.”

Bilbo looked out across the decent sized wooden gazebo, appreciating the way the trees framed the shot, and the small string of lights delicately hung around the inside edge of the structure.

“It’s beautiful.” Bilbo breathed.

Tauriel grinned and nodded in agreement which made Kili want to take it right then and there.

“We’ll consider it.” Dis was quick to step in. “Let’s look around at some other some of the other locations on the property first. Because if it’s raining like it was this morning, an outdoor reception might not be the best idea.”

The wedding planner was quick to agree as she started to steer them back inside to show them alternatives. Bilbo, who was quite frankly, worn down already by wedding preparations decided to hang back and admire the beauty of the property a little bit longer. Placing his hands on the railing in the back, he could just make out the slope of the river and the gardens before it. He closed his eyes, basking in the beauty of it all. This place was almost his paradise.

“It’s too bad Dis isn’t a fan of outdoor weddings.”

Bilbo spun around, his heart hammering in his chest as he narrowed his eyes at Thorin. The man was almost sheepish if it wasn’t for the rather conspicuously innocent smile and way he had his hands tucked in his pockets. Much like Bilbo’s initial impression of him from their uni days, the man truly was too handsome for his own good.

“It’s the bugs.” He continued.

Bilbo raised an eyebrow, which finally got him faltering a bit.

“Dis!” He quickly explained. “It’s why she’s not going to okay this spot. She doesn’t like bugs.”

“Fascinating.” Bilbo drawled, deciding now was the best time to make his exit.

“It’s too bad.” Thorin shrugged, purposely brushing up against him. “It really would be the perfect place for a dance.”

With the flip of a switch, the lights blazed to life, giving the gazebo a soft warm glow. Bilbo stopped, his appreciation for the display stronger than his desire to escape the other man. As he turned a circle to really get a feel for the ambiance, he was flummoxed by the hand suddenly before him.

“Don’t you think?”

“Don’t I think what?” Bilbo repeated dumbly staring from the large palm before him and back to Thorin’s impossibly blue eyes.

“That we should dance.”

“Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no! I don’t dance.” He explained trying to back away.

Thorin, however, was unfortunately persistent. He raised an eyebrow, but made no move to chase Bilbo, always leaving the choice with him.

“Will you not have to dance the father-daughter dance with Tauriel?”

Well, damn. Bilbo had certainly not thought of that when he agreed to this.

“Just think of it as...practice.” Thorin shrugged.

Bilbo pursed his lips. He should be thinking of it as practice saying no to Thorin bloody Oakenshield. Instead, he stepped forward with a sigh, putting his hand in Thorin’s.

“Fine. I will dance with you to no music in this public space. Idiot.”

Thorin only grinned as he spun Bilbo around before his hand found its way onto Bilbo’s waist. Honestly, it was awkward relinquishing control to Thorin when there was no beat to go off of, and the man was unabashedly staring right at him.

“You have always been my greatest regret.” Thorin admitted softly.

Bilbo scoffed, even as he tried to ignore his burning cheeks at the confession.

“That’s so cliché.”

“Doesn’t make it any less true.”

“Really?” Bilbo finally turned his head to look at him properly. “Because I’ve always thought of you as just another mistake.”

Thorin looked stricken, almost making Bilbo regret his tone, if not his words. They stopped swaying, but hadn’t quite moved away from each other. 

“I didn’t know how to handle it. I thought in a drunken stupor I had just let myself be another notch on Bilbo Baggins belt.”

Another notch on his belt? The nerve.

“So you ran.” Bilbo remarked quietly. “And I never got the chance to find out why I wasn’t good enough for the great Thorin Oakenshield.”

The other man’s shoulders slumped and his eyes gazed down upon him mournfully. However, that didn’t stop him from pressing closer. His countenance almost imploring. Bilbo could feel his palm start to sweat inside the other man’s as his gaze flickered between Thorin’s eyes, his lips, and the little hint of his raven tattoo poking out of his shirt at the neck. So. Damn. Hot. Bilbo thought for a moment, Thorin might try to kiss him, and he raged silently over whether he would let him, when a light exploded overhead. 

Bilbo jumped, pushing himself into Thorin’s chest as another exploded before the whole string went dark. His arms wrapped tightly around Thorin’s waist while the other man had his around Bilbo’s back, the smaller took the time to remark on the whole ordeal.

“Well that was...odd.”

[cloverjester]

Welcome to Night Vale - I just feel like I have to reccomend them. Horror comedy with queer romance and disabled characters, really long and still ongoing. It doesn’t have an overarching plot, it’s def not for everyone but it’s THE queer eye horror podcast so it’s worth to at least check out

Malevolent - my favorite podcast so far, character driven, disabled protagonist, horror mystery, pathetic meow meows are there, the episodes are long and it is still ongoing! Really good, can’t reccomend enough, mwah mwah Malevolent will save me why did anyone ever think anything I am writing will be coherent

Midnight Burger - character driven, comedy sci-fi, has many queer characters, the episodes as of late are LONG and it’s still ongoing. Second favorite podcast, it’s really heartwarming and funny as well, great story. There are some romantic subplots

Hello from the Hallowoods - character driven! Horror! Mystery! Funny plenty of times too! Queer and disabled rep! Has romance! First it’s different stories that later start to weave trough each other! Still ongoing and long, it’s exactly what you’re looking for I reckon

Wolf 359 - sci-fi, comedy, has some horror elements I think, character driven, has a queer character, it’s 61 episodes long and finished and it might not check a lot of points on that list but it’s very fun to listen to, it’s a really lovely story that starts a bit unserious but then a bigger plot appears and it’s really good

The Penumbra Podcast - it’s two stories in a trench coat. The Second Citadel story has finished recently after I think around 60 episodes? The Juno Steel story finale will be coming out recently, I think it has more or less the same amount of episodes, five seasons. The stories are both character driven, with tons of queer and disabled rep, have mystery aspects, especially Juno Steel, it’s literally about a detective solving mysteries, both have romance, it’s funny, really engaging and easy to follow, I reccomend listening to one story and then the other

Hi Nay - character driven, horror, mystery, it’s funny as well (I’m not sure when something classifies as a comedy I think), has a romantic subplot, all characters are queer, still ongoing, it’s a lovely story, not that popular but it has so much love put in it I definitely reccomend it as well. It might have disabled rep I’m so sorry Motzie I am trying not to zone out while listening to podcasts all the time

Stellar Firma - sci-fi comedy. Has queer characters. It’s mostly just a comedy, rarely serious, but it is funny and I cannot believe that guy is voiced by Elias fuckinh Bouchard

The White Vault - the only horror podcast here that actually scared me and I’m hard to scare. Horror, mysteries, not really character driven since the characters die all the time and you have to get new ones, but still, if you want to listen to the podcast equivelent of The Thing, that’s your guy. Has queer and disabled rep, plus some romance in some seasons, although only a bit, it’s a horror story first and anything else second.

Archive 81 - TMA and Malevolent had a baby. Character driven, horror, mystery, comedy, queer and disabled rep, it starts out with the main character listening to tapes that end up being a larger story, pathetic meow meows, I am not sure if it’s finished? It wasn’t updated in some time and the story is wrapped up but there is always a chance, we have to have hope we get more Archive 81

Wooden Overcoats - sitcom about competing funeral houses narrated by a moise. Like this should tell you everything about it. Queer rep, check, character driven, check, has a romantic subplot, check, Rudyard is a pethetic meow meow, it’s finished after a few seasons, amazing podcast, changed my brain chemistry.

Alice isn’t Dead - horror mystery, the main character looks for her wife so you know, queer rep, check, it’s relatively short and finished, but it’s still fun, there isn’t a lot of audio dramas with female leads now that I think about it

The Silt Verses - character driven, horror, has queer rep, it ended recently after 3 long seasons, it’s a beautiful fucking story, my third favorite podcast, amazing sound design and voice acting and everything, really worth the time

Red Valley - character driven, has queer rep (I think the question is which podcasts don’t have queer rep at this point), has horror elements, multiple seasons, still ongoing. It’s also funny.

That is all I think. I could probably fit some other podcasts here that don’t exactly pass the criteria but I’ve been writing this for some time now. These podcasts be upon ye. I have decided to not give podcast synopsises like I usually do, but I can do that. You can DM me. You can talk to me about podcast. Please talk to me about podcasts.

i am desperately searching for new podss! plss recommend me stuff, i’ll listen to practically anything.

my fave genres/story tropes??/themes:

character driven stuff ( anthology are also cool but i prefer a set main cast)

horror

mystery

comedy

dungeons and dragons

romance baked into the story

queer & disabled rep

when it starts out with random disconnected event and the plot is revealed over time

i don’t mind dialogue heavy stuff

pathetic and dripping wet meow meows

looong episodes or several seasons

also love if it’s still an ongoing thing

and here are some of my fave audiodramas/podcasts (in no particular order):

tma

dungeons and daddies

eos10

the bright sessions

spire

the amelia project

birds of prey

WOE.BEGONE

dreamboy

the edge of sleep

elixir

hello from the magic tavern

real housewives of dnd

in strange woods

trice forgotten