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pesterloglog · 1 year ago

Text

Aranea Serket, Terezi Pyrope

Act 6, page 4767-4778

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

AG: Hahahahahahahaha!

AG: Aaaaaaaa haaaaaaaa haaaaaaaa haaaaaaaa haaa........ man, fuck this.

AG: It's a real pain in the ass typing out long victorious laughs with only one hand, you know?

AG: Gonna have to patch this thing up somehow. May8e I'll pay a visit to my neigh8or a little l8er.

AG: Getting my arm fixed nearly ought to 8e worth enduring the stench. Aw yeah. Sick 8urn from outta nowhere. Take that, Zahhak.

AG: Haha! NEIGH8or. I can't 8elieve I only thought of that now! I 8et he'll get kick out of that.

AG: I 8et you even more he won't laugh though. What a 8oring piece of shit.

AG: I know YOU would think it's funny though. Right Terezi?

AG: Man, I sure am glad this little feud of ours is 8asically over. We're totally even!

AG: Now we can just go 8ack to 8eing friends, and things will 8e gr8.

AG: Hmmmmmmmm........

AG: Hahahaha! You won't 8elieve this, 8ut it only occurred to me now that you won't even 8e a8le to read this!

AG: Even if you do somehow manage to stum8le 8ack to your hive........ you're 8lind now! Whoooooooops.

AG: It would 8e a real shame if we couldn't 8ury the hatchet and 8e gr8 friends again 8ecause of a stupid 8ullshit reason like that.

AG: Oh, I know.

AG: May8e I'll mindjack some random chump and send him to your hive so he can read my messages to you out loud!

AG: What a perfect solution. He can 8e your assisted living slave.

AG: I would have had the perfect candid8 all lined up, 8ut he recently lost the use of his legs unfortun8ly. Oh well, I'll just roll with the punches like I always do and find someone else.

AG: Just say the word, and I'll make him do whatever you want! Read my awesome notes to you, hang some more plush dragons from your tree, pre-chew your food........

AG: Well, may8e not pre-chew it, since I didn't exactly knock your teeth out, did I?

AG: May8e more like pre-look-at your food, to make sure there are 8ugs in it.

AG: See, isn't it gr8 when we're helping each other out instead of maiming each other repeatedly?

AG: This is how it should 8e 8etween Scourge Sisters. All the maimings and 8acksta88ings should 8e saved for the friends and foes who get in our way, don't you think?

AG: Hey, what do you want to do for our next campaign, 8tw?

AG: We can take the next one easy. I'll try to think of something 8etter suited to your new disa8ility!

AG: I mean, I've ALREADY pretty much nixed anything involving stairs, 8ecause of Tavros. Lol.

AG: 8n't no one can say I'm not willing to meet people half way!!!!!!!!

AG: Whew........

AG: I'm losing a lot of 8lood here.

AG: Good thing I seem to have a ton of the stuff. We high8loods are made of some pretty tough shit.

AG: What a fucking mess, though. Not really looking forward to cleaning this up.

AG: I've got to say, your prank was pretty good. Still not sure how you pulled it off. Pretty inconvenient though!

AG: It's too 8ad you're not going to get to read this for a while, if ever. We could 8e 8onding over the gr8 pranks we just pulled on each other!

AG: Oh well.

AG: Guess I'll take off. 8efore I drop dead like some kind of loser and you never get to hear from me again.

AG: See you around, sis.

GC: WOW

GC: 1 C4NT B3L13V3 1 4LMOST FORGOT

GC: WH4T 4 COMPL3T3LY CR4ZY B1TCH YOU W3R3

AG: Hey now!

AG: What kind of attitude is that to 8ring into this memory?

GC: OH

GC: Y34H

GC: SORRY >:[

AG: Easy, there.

AG: No need to waste good remorse on such a trivial exchange.

AG: I am only reminding you,

AG: That if you 8ring too much 8aggage from the past into the memory, it is dou8tful your experience will 8e either therapeutic or cathartic.

GC: UH

GC: WH4T

AG: You were the one who invoked this memory after all.

AG: Isn't this why you are here? Is it not what you have 8een hoping for and fretting you may find since your journey 8egan?

AG: A chance to say you are sorry?

GC: VR1SK4

GC: YOU SOUND R34LLY D1FF3R3NT

GC: WH4T H4PP3N3D TO YOU OUT H3R3?

AG: Sorry for the ruse.

AG: Though it isn't as far from the truth as it possi8ly could 8e, I am not who you think I am.

GC: >:?

AG: I of course needed to visit you through a memory, and interestingly, this is the one you gave me.

AG: No ill will or upsetting hijinks were intended.

GC: WHO 4R3 YOU?

AG: Aranea.

GC: OK

GC: 4ND??

AG: And I am your friend's ancestor.

AG: In fact, I am yours too, in a way.

GC: R34LLY??

AG: Yes. Though not quite how you are picturing.

AG: She had an ancestor whom she was aware of, and technically that is who I am.

AG: That is to say, she is who I would have 8ecome on your world, had I arrived in her place. Alas, I did not.

AG: She was a figure in your history who preceded you 8y thousands of solar sweeps.

AG: Whereas I preceded your entire civilization 8y 8illions.

GC: >:o

GC: 1 DONT G3T 1T

AG: That's ok. There is plenty of time to sort it all out.

AG: I've 8een keeping an eye on you all for quite a while. Your whole planet, actually. It was very interesting this time around, to say the least.

AG: It even had a different name! "Alternia." Haha. How heavy handed can you get?

AG: The man responsi8le was a 8it of a wise guy. He rewrote everything. He had a knack for overzealous storytelling, which is a harmless enough ha8it usually. I'm guilty of it myself sometimes.

AG: 8ut it is not so harmless when the perpetrator is omniscient and omnipotent.

GC: OMN1SC13NT?

GC: YOU M34N

GC: MR M1LKSH4K3???

AG: That's right.

AG: 8ut he's dead now, and his story is over. The 8ook on our universe is closed, 8oth for my instance and yours.

AG: This 8eing the case, I thought it was the right time to introduce myself. The com8ined work of my group and yours is unfinished, and the outcome has not 8een assured.

AG: The true ultimate reward has yet to 8e achieved. No safe haven has 8een created that is free from the devastation caused 8y Mr. Milkshake's grand deception.

AG: Our race still teeters on extinction. The mem8ers of your party, and one noteworthy fugitive, are the sole survivors.

AG: We must work together to create that haven and restore our race, so that the sacrifices we all made will not 8e in vain.

AG: 8ut in order to repair the unthinka8le damage that has 8een done, we need to allow ourselves the chance to heal first.

AG: Old wounds, old regrets. They will serve no purpose on the rest of your journey.

GC: R3GR3TS

GC: 4R3 YOU T4LK1NG 4BOUT M3 4ND VR1SK4?

AG: Sure. You have to start somewhere.

GC: DO YOU KNOW WH3R3 SH3 1S?

AG: Not at the moment.

AG: 8ut the more time you spend here, the more likely it is you will find whomever you are looking for.

AG: On the other hand, if it is the unknowa8le will of the gods, you may dance around each other indefinitely as you pass through this space. It is hard to say.

GC: OH

GC: OK TH3N

GC: 1M NOT SUR3 WH3TH3R TO B3 R3L13V3D OR FRUSTR4T3D BY TH4T

AG: Well, if she had 8een dwelling in this 8u88le like you thought, what would you want to say to her?

AG: Surely you would not have just argued a8out the past.

GC: NO

GC: 1 ST1LL DONT KNOW WH4T 1 WOULD S4Y TO H3R

AG: Then what would you say to me?

GC: 1 WOULD S4Y

GC: 3V3N THOUGH SH3 D1D SOM3 B4D TH1NGS 4ND W4S TOT4LLY 1MPOSS1BL3 MOST OF TH3 T1M3

GC: 1 W1SH SH3 W4SNT D34D

GC: 1S 1T W31RD TO M1SS SOM3BODY WHO D1D NOTH1NG BUT C4US3 PROBL3MS?

AG: No. I can empathize.

AG: She was a serious trou8lemaker in your party. Many player groups have to deal with those.

AG: I feel as though we had one of the worst cases in our party. 8ut when all was said and done, she was still our friend.

GC: 1 K33P WOND3R1NG 1F TH3R3 W4S 4NOTH3R W4Y

GC: SOM3TH1NG OTH3R TH4N L3TT1NG H3R GO, OR K1LL1NG H3R

GC: 1 TRY TO R3M3MB3R WH4T 1 S4W WH3N 1 LOOK3D 1NTO TH3 VORT1C3S OF POSS1B1L1TY

GC: 4ND 1 JUST C4NT R3M3MB3R 4NYTH1NG B3S1D3S THOS3 OPT1ONS

GC: 3V3N 1F THOS3 OTH3R CHO1C3S WOULD H4V3 R3SULT3D 1N D34TH FOR 3V3RYON3

GC: W4S TH4T R34LLY 4LL 1 W4S C4P4BL3 OF?

GC: 31TH3R LOS1NG TH3 N3RV3 TO GO THROUGH W1TH 1T, OR ST4BB1NG H3R 1N TH3 B4CK, 4ND NOTH1NG 3LS3?

AG: At that moment, perhaps.

AG: You know very well the channels of possi8ility at that exact juncture resulted from her decision paths as well as yours.

AG: 8ut even so, when it comes to your key decisions, the possi8ilities are pro8a8ly fewer and more discrete than you have presumed.

AG: Otherwise you would not see results consolidated into those vortices, would you? Possi8ility would resem8le an enormous hazy field of infinitely su8tle variations and micro-choices.

AG: Imagine if at that moment you truly were capa8le of anything, no matter how outlandish, a8surd, or patently fruitless. How would this vast amount of information present itself to you through your senses? What difference would it make in your final decision if all other tri8utaries of whim spilled into the same decaying future? And what would this make of your agency as a hero meant to learn and grow?

AG: Look at it this way. Imagine that over the course of someone's life, they are truly capa8le of every conceiva8le action at any moment, and did indeed take each of those actions in different 8ranching realities. Doesn't a scenario like that deaden a person's agency just as much as one where their fate is decidedly etched in stone as a single path of unavoida8le decisions? Who exactly is that person who can and does take all conceiva8le actions, other than someone perfectly generic, who only appears to have unique predilections and motives when you examine the ar8itrary path they happen to occupy?

GC: UM

GC: 1 DONT KNOW

AG: Pardon the esoteric tangent. These are my instincts as a Hero of Light kicking in. It's hard for us to resist prattling on a8out matters like this.

GC: OH GOD

GC: L1K3 ROS3

GC: Y34H SH3 N3V3R SHUTS UP 4BOUT 1T

GC: NO OFF3NS3 >:]

AG: ::::)

AG: You may seek to understand your decisions and look for justice in their consequences. You may wonder why honora8le choices from the innocent are punished 8y 8anishment to a timeline in which everyone dies and all is gradually dissolved.

AG: It helps to understand your role, not just as a hero who must overcome, 8ut as a single capillary within a much larger 8ioexistential system.

AG: Think of it like circulatory system, where the veins and capillaries that do not help the overall flow of 8lood through the system are likely to wither and die. Those are doomed offshoots.

AG: Reality itself is using you and many others to propagate its own existence. Strictly speaking, there is only one path to its successful propagation. 8ut it still permits you to make choices. Not all that are conceiva8le, 8ut some nevertheless, as dictated 8y who you are and the challenges you face. And you are free to make key decisions however you like, as long as you understand that some of these paths unfairly or not will lead to o8livion. 8ecause those choices do not contri8ute constructively to the perpetuation of all existence, including your own.

AG: Such is the 8urden assumed 8y anyone who plays this game.

GC: Y34H

GC: 1 GU3SS 1 UND3RSTOOD SOM3 OF TH4T, BUT N3V3R QU1T3 PUT 1T 4LL TOG3TH3R TH4T W4Y

GC: 1 DONT TH1NK 1 W4S 4 GR34T S33R OF M1ND

AG: Well, you aren't finished 8eing one, are you?

GC: M3H

GC: 1 DONT TH1NK OF MYS3LF TH4T W4Y 4NYMOR3

GC: 1 US3D TO F33L L1K3 SOM3 PR3TTY HOT SH1T!

GC: D1R3CT1NG B4TTL3 TR4FF1C 4G41NST TH3 K1NG, 4ND 4LL FL1PP1NG CO1NS 1N P3OPL3S F4C3S 4ND STUFF

GC: 1T S33MS S1LLY NOW. 1 DONT TH1NK 1 3V3R KN3W WH4T 1 W4S DO1NG

GC: WH3N 1 CONFRONT3D H3R, 4ND 1T W4S T1M3 TO M4K3 UP MY M1ND

GC: 1 THOUGHT 1 H4D 1T 4LL F1GUR3D OUT, L1K3 TH1S W4S WH4T 1 H4D TO DO. NOT JUST TO S4V3 3V3RYBODY, BUT 4S SOM3 STUP1D R1T3 OF P4SS4G3 OR SOM3TH1NG?

GC: TH3N 1T C4M3 T1M3 TO DO 1T, 4ND 1T W4S 4LL H4PP3N1NG SO F4ST...

GC: 4ND 1 FORC3D MY OWN H4ND. 1 COULD 31TH3R L3T 3V3RYON3 D13 1N ON3 R34L1TY, OR K1LL 4 FR13ND 1N 4NOTH3R

GC: 4ND 1 T3LL MYS3LF THOS3 W3R3 TH3 ONLY TWO VORT1C3S 1 S4W...

GC: BUT TH3N, 1 W4S TH3 ON3 WHO M4D3 TH3 S3R13S OF D3C1S1ONS WH1CH L3D UP TO TH4T CHO1C3, 4ND COMPL3T3LY P41NT3D TH3 OPT1ONS 1NTO TH4T CORN3R

GC: 4NYW4Y

GC: 1 JUST W1SH 1 COULD T3LL H3R TH4T

AG: Which one would you tell it to?

GC: HUH?

AG: The one who fought with Noir, or the one who didn't?

GC: OH

GC: 1 M34N

GC: 1 GU3SS 31TH3R?

GC: BUT 1 W4S TH1NK1NG MOR3 4BOUT TH3 ON3 WHOS3 D34TH 1M 4CTU4LLY R3SPONS1BL3 FOR

AG: Ah.

AG: Well, this could either 8e my experience as an ancient ghost talking, or the perspective I am naturally given to as a Light player,

AG: 8ut aren't you equally responsi8le for 8oth?

GC: >:\

GC: 1 GU3SS

AG: I can see why you would feel more responsi8ility for one than the other.

AG: My perspective is informed 8y my class and aspect. It was to my advantage as a healer to see things a little differently. To find equanimity across many different outcomes.

GC: OH?

AG: There's more to the realization of our roles than gaining flashy powers.

AG: And there's more to healing than repairing 8attle damage.

AG: You killed a friend and you understanda8ly feel regret.

AG: 8ut it's done. She is gone and you are still here.

AG: Now what?

GC: ...

AG: You could look for a8solution through rationalization. Everyone would have died if you didn't take action, so why trou8le yourself with guilty emotion?

AG: 8ut there is no real healing power in 8elieving that. And I don't think it's what you wanted to tell yourself anyway, is it?

GC: NOT R34LLY

AG: Or what a8out through renunciation of responsi8ility? If you were just a tool used 8y reality to perpetuate itself, where is the 8lame?

AG: 8ut that would 8e another empty idea that has no power to heal.

GC: Y34H

GC: 1V3 TR13D R4T1ON4L1Z1NG STUFF TH4T W4Y

GC: DO3SNT R34LLY H3LP

AG: You've 8een lead to 8elieve such acts of violence are natural for your kind, and that if you're upset 8y the consequences then something is wrong with you.

AG: 8ut it isn't as natural as you might think. That conditioning was a part of Milkshake's long con.

AG: Violence was respected and cele8rated on your world, 8ut remorse was rarely felt and pain could never heal due to such empty justifications. We died out a wounded race, and you are all that's left.

AG: The process of healing first involves sifting through what it isn't, which happens to 8e almost everything your trou8led mind has to offer.

GC: TH3N WH4T DO 1 DO?

GC: WH4TS TH3 4NSW3R?

AG: There isn't one.

AG: It takes time, and is only accelerated 8y looking at things honestly.

AG: This is what I did as a Sylph of Light. Helped people see things.

AG: I could even perform the feat literally, if you wanted.

GC: WHO4 WH4T?

AG: It's up to you of course.

GC: HMM

GC: TH4NKS FOR 4SK1NG

GC: BUT 1D R4TH3R JUST ST4Y TH1S W4Y

GC: L34RN1NG TO S3NS3 TH1NGS TH1S W4Y W4S TH3 ONLY CONN3CT1ON 1 3V3R H4D W1TH MY LUSUS B3FOR3 SH3 D13D

GC: 1T R3M1NDS M3 OF H3R

GC: TH4T PROB4BLY SOUNDS DUMB THOUGH

AG: Not at all. That's a very good reason.

AG: I thought the polite thing to do was at least offer.

GC: 1TS COOL TH4T YOU W4NT TO H3LP H34L M3 4ND 4LL

GC: BUT

GC: 1 ST1LL DONT R34LLY KNOW 4NYTH1NG 4BOUT YOU

GC: OTH3R TH4N TH4T YOU S33M L1K3 SOM3 SORT OF MUCH N1C3R VR1SK4

GC: WH3R3 W3R3 YOU FROM 4G41N? 4LT3RN14 B3FOR3 V4N1LL4 M1LKSH4K3 N4M3D 1T TH4T?

AG: Yes. 8ut in a different universe instance, I often refer to as A1. The shorthand helps avoid confusion, trust me.

AG: My group of twelve played the game, 8ut failed. It overwhelmed us. A lot went wrong. The reckoning destroyed our 8attlefield well 8efore we had any hope of winning.

AG: I sought advice from Echidna, and she told me how to scratch the session to give us another chance.

AG: 8ut the choice to do so came with accepting the annihilation of our existing forms. In the new instance, we would lead completely different lives with no memory of what happened.

AG: So we did, and created A2. Your instance, your world, and your game in which we were all inexplica8ly created in the first place.

AG: As I said, this time around the world was........ interesting.

GC: TH4T'S WH3N TROLLS B3C4M3 T3RR1BL3?

AG: Not all of you.

AG: Some had lessons from the old world to teach others. 8ut few ever heard them.

GC: SO 1N YOUR T1M3, 3V3RYON3 W4S 4S N1C3 4S YOU?

AG: Not exactly. 8ut life was pretty mild and uneventful.

AG: I'm not even sure if I was especially nice, 8y our standards.

AG: Mostly kind of 8oring.

AG: No8ody from my party liked me a whole lot.

AG: I think I talked too much, and had a ha8it of 8ringing conversations 8ack around to myself.

AG: Not that it matters anymore, 8ut it was not the 8est way to make friends.

GC: H3H3H3H3. YOU R34LLY 4R3 L1K3 4 N1C3 VR1SK4

GC: 1 DUNNO, 1 W4S FR13NDS W1TH H3R 4ND SH3 D1D 4LMOST NOTH1NG BUT T4LK 4BOUT H3RS3LF

GC: 1M PR3TTY SUR3 YOU 4ND 1 WOULD H4V3 B33N GOOD FR13NDS TOO!

AG: Thanks!

AG: It goes to show, just 8ecause your race is peaceful doesn't mean you don't have pro8lems.

AG: I used to fantasize a8out 8eing someone really outgoing and dramatic.

AG: Someone who had the confidence do whatever she wanted, like go on the most outrageous adventures without caring what anyone thought a8out her.

AG: Like someone from a 8ook, you know?

GC: Y3S!

GC: 1 US3D TO TH1NK 4BOUT TH4T 4 LOT TOO >:]

AG: It turned out I actually got what I wanted after the reset. Unfortunately it came along with our people's enslavement and near extinction.

AG: Not that I really got to live as her, exactly. 8ut at least I got a chance to follow her life. And it was a very long life.

AG: 8eing here for ages has its 8enefits.

GC: 3X4CTLY HOW LONG H4V3 YOU 4LL B33N L1V1NG 1N DR34M BUBBL3S?

GC: OR 1 M34N...

GC: NOT L1V1NG

AG: It has 8een a very long time.

AG: So long, time has 8een stripped of the meaning it never really had in the first place.

AG: It doesn't really pass in the same way it does when you're alive. Concepts like "now" and "how long" are figures of speech used to make communication simpler.

AG: I've quit trying to give expression to the elusive temporal properties of this place. It's easier staying conversational.

AG: 8ut I will say that 8eing here "for so long" lends itself to a certain detachment from what you see. Otherwise, monitoring the atrocities stemming from our failure wouldn't 8e much fun.

GC: DO YOU M1SS YOUR WORLD 4S MUCH 4S 1 DO?

AG: Yes, sometimes.

AG: 8ut missing it usually invites memories of home to serve as the stage.

AG: Not that it's a su8stitute for the previous reality. 8ut the reminders of home are everywhere.

GC: WH4T 4BOUT YOUR FR13NDS? 1 GU3SS YOU ST1LL G3T TO H4NG OUT W1TH TH3M 4LL?

AG: Yes. I see them often enough.

AG: Except for one, whom I haven't seen at all since 8efore we all died.

AG: In fact, she's the only reason we are here in the first place, as opposed to merely ceasing to exist upon the scratch.

AG: In life, she was the only one I would have called a close friend, in a way.

AG: The thing is, no8ody liked her much either. We had that in common. ::::)

GC: WOW, 1TS B33N TH4T LONG S1NC3 YOU S4W H3R?

AG: Remem8er how I said the gods could keep you dancing around someone you're looking for indefinitely?

GC: Y34H BUT...

GC: B1LL1ONS OF SW33PS??

AG: Well, "8illions," yes. In a manner of speaking.

GC: 1S SH3 BY 4NY CH4NC3 TH3 TROUBL3M4K3R YOU W3R3 T4LK1NG 4BOUT?

AG: That's right. In fact, we are on our way to visit her now.

GC: OH

GC: SO TH4TS WH3R3 TH1S BR4NCH 1S T4K1NG US!

AG: Notice the moon up there?

AG: And not the larger green interloper. That one never 8elonged to my world. It is your memory, not mine.

GC: Y34H TH3 CUT3 L1TTL3 BUBBL3GUM MOONS! TH4TS WH3R3 SH3 1S?

AG: It's the setting of the memory she entered.

AG: From her perspective, she has just arrived here.

AG: Your friends should 8e joining us too, 8efore your meteor clears the 8u88le.

AG: May8e together we can 8ring the Thief of Life up to speed.

#homestuck #aranea serket #terezi pyrope #homestuck act 6 #page 4767 #page 4768 #page 4769 #page 4770 #page 4771 #page 4772 #page 4773 #page 4774 #page 4775 #page 4776 #page 4777 #page 4778 #homestuck act 6 intermission 2

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lunatic-fandom-space · 3 years ago

Text

Okayyyyyyy we just spent a bunch of time w/ some crackhead and now we're back with Karkat :D love this guy anyway we got a bunch of pesterchum/chumproll username thingies

apocalypseArisen (AA)

adiosToreador (AT) (already met this dude, pretty sure he tYPES LIKE THIS)

twinArmageddon (TA) (also already met this guy although it was p brief, pretty sure he type2 liike thiis)

carcinoGeneticist (CG) (pretty sure this is our boy Karkat)

arsenicCatnip (AC)

grimAuxiliatrix (GA) (met this fella, Types Like This)

gallowsCalibrator (GC) (thats the leetspeak gal yall, possibly Vriska but Im not sure)

arachnidsGrip (AG)

centaursTesticle (CT)

terminallyCapricious (TC) (ayyyyyyyyy thats our crackhead Gamzee)

caligulasAquarium (CA)

cuttlefishCuller (CC)

Honestly, Im pretty nervous at the prospect of having to keep track of all these fellas but eh. I'll manage

Right now Im pretty sure that GC is Vriska, but if she isnt I predict that its gonna be AA

#its manga time!!#homestuck

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intocleanness · 5 years ago

Conversation

Dirk: To answer your question, no I do not "do" "substances."

Dirk: They introduce variables that throw off my impeccable mental calibration.

Dirk: And besides, like it or not, this is what peak performance looks like.

Vriska: ........

Dirk: I can see you're still typing so let's just skip the whole 8x8 ellipses joke and cut to you saying something stupid.

Vriska: PFFFFFFFFHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah dude, peak performance is only ever falling asleep 8ecause your diet of stovetop rice and seaweed flakes deprives your 8rain of the shit it needs to oper8.

Vriska: Was it an attempt to reach "peak performance" that made you raise Dave so that he thought orange food coloring was a fruit until like age ten?

[timaeusTestified has ceased pestering arachnidsGrip]

Vriska: Oh I see how it is; you get to m8ke all the m8ss child murd8r jokes you want, 8ut one lousy crack about 8eing a neglectful guardian...

Vriska: Step right up, ladi8s and gentletrolls, see the amazing humorless man!

#Vriska Serket #dirk strider #ive got like a million of these dumbshit chatlogs in my brain so you all get to suffer along with me

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living-lucid-dream · 7 years ago

Text

Happy 4/13!

It’s been a long time since I’ve done anything Homestuck-related. What better day to change that than today? What I’m trying to say is: here, have some random snippets from a maybe-sequel to Straw Soldiers.

> Vriska: Distress call

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

AG: Terezi!!!!!!!! AG: Thank fuck you are online 8ecause I am having a serious crisis. AG: I’m talking all hands on deck, all points 8ulletin sort of 8ullshit. AG: Terezi? AG: Come on, will you SAY SOMETHING already? AG: This is an emergency and you are my only chance at keeping everything from going to complete shit. AG: I swear to god I am not exagger8ing when I say that I am fucking dying here!!!!!!!! GC: HUH GC: TH4TS STR4NG3 GC: MY NOS3 DO3S NOT D3T3CT 3V3N TH3 F41NT3ST WH1FF OF D3C4Y1NG FL3SH GC: 1T 1S P1CK1NG UP ON3 H3FTY P1L3 OF M3LODR4M4 THOUGH >:/ AG: OK, OK. So may8e I’m not dying right this second—8ut I will 8e if you don’t do something for me, and I mean pronto. GC: UH-HUH GC: 4ND WH4T 3X4CTLY 1S TH1S 4LL3G3DLY L1F3 S4V1NG M4N3UV3R YOU 3XP3CT M3 TO DO? AG: First, I need you to answer something for me. GC: OK, SHOOT AG: How long have we known each other, exactly? GC: 1 DUNNO GC: F1V3, S1X SW33PS? GC: WHY? AG: Five or six sweeps. Practically our whole lives! AG: I mean, 8y now we’re pretty much o8lig8ed to help each other out in times of dire need and you’ve got to know that I wouldn’t ask for help with anything unless I was really, truly desper8. GC: UGH, TH3 M3LODR4M4 GC: 1T BURNS! AG: Hey, I am 8eing totally serious! AG: Geeeeeeeez, Pyrope. I come here hoping to get a little help from my lifelong 8osom 8uddy and all you can do is give me a 8unch of salty attitude. AG: If that’s the way you’re going to 8e then may8e I won’t 8other to ask you for anything after all. GC: JUST T3LL M3 WH4T YOU W4NT AG: Now that’s the spirit! AG: All right. So the thing I’m going to ask you to do may not sound like much, 8ut 8elieve me it is a very 8ig deal. AG: I need you to talk some sense into Peixes for me. GC: >:? GC: 4BOUT WH4T? AG: Somehow she got it into her pan that it would 8e a good idea to make me go all the fuck 8ack to Alternia and pick up Tav8utt and wonder clown. AG: I’ve tried reasoning with her 8ut she is 8eing a stu88orn 8rat and pulling rank on me. GC: SORRY TO S4Y 1T BUT 1 F41L TO S33 HOW 4NY OF TH4T QU4L1F13S 4S L1F3 4ND D34TH AG: Trust me, it is. GC: HOW SO? AG: 8ecause I will die of 8oredom! AG: Can you even imagine me, stuck on a ship for god knows how long with no8ody 8ut Toreasnore and Gamzee for company? AG: 8oriiiiiiiing! AG: I mean, the two of them don’t have a pair of 8rain cells 8etween them! GC: 1 4M SUR3 YOU W1LL SURV1V3 AG: What? So you’re not going to do anything at all to help me???????? AG: I’ve seen you do some pretty ruthless shit, 8ut releg8ing your good friend to dork squad shuttle service? AG: That’s cold ::::( GC: 1 4M SUR3 1T WONT B3 TH4T B4D GC: B3S1D3S 1 TH1NK 1T W1LL B3 GOOD FOR YOU GC: GR34T FOR BU1LD1NG CH4R4CT3R 4ND 4LL TH4T J4ZZ AG: “8uilding character” my ass. You just want to see me suffer. GC: ME? N3V3R >;] GC: H4V3 4 S4F3 TR1P GC: OH, 4ND DON’T TORM3NT T4VROS TOO MUCH AG: You know I will ::::p

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

> Future Vriska: Distress call

arachnidsGrip [AG] opened memo EMERGENCY READ NOW!!!!!!!!

arachnidsGrip [AG] invited apocalypseArisen [AA] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited twinArmageddons [TA] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited carcinoGeneticist [CG] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited arsenicCatnip [AC] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited grimAuxiliatrix [GA] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited gallowsCalibrator [GC] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited centaursTesticle [CT] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited caligulasAquarium [CA] to memo arachnidsGrip [AG] invited cuttlefishCuller [CC] to memo

AG: Come on, you useless 8unch of laya8outs! Get your asses in here! AG: Aaauuuuuuuugh! Where is every8ody???????? AG: Is this not getting through to any of you? AG: Fuck it, I can’t tell so I’m doing this regardless. AG: My ship has 8een attacked. AG: There have 8een losses and no, I am not detailing what those losses are right here 8ecause this is humili8ing enough as it is. AG: The long and short of it is: I’m stranded and I have no idea where the hell I am exactly 8ut I do know that I am drifting somewhere 8etween Earth and Alternia. AG: I am pretty sure I can safely classify the situ8ion as “in dire need of a relief shuttle right fucking now.” AG: Hello? AG: Is any8ody getting this???????? AG: Come on, some8ody ANSW8R ME, ALR8DY! AG: G8DDAMN 8T!!!!!!!!

arachnidsGrip [AG] left memo

> John: Pester Dave

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

EB: dave! EB: you there, buddy? TG: yo EB: geez, you’ve been mia for like four days now. Where the heck have you been? TG: shit dude TG: ive been laying lower than a teenage mutant ninja turtle chilling in the new york sewer TG: slinking around like the stealth phantom lovechild of batman and solid snake EB: oh. so the paparazzi are after you too, huh? TG: yeah EB: that sucks. TG: eh TG: for a while i was thinking about mooning them just to see how hard they pissed themselves trying to go all national geographic on my ass TG: then i realized that there was like an eighty billion percent certainty that my ass would just end up getting trotted out on fucking tmz or some shit TG: now national enquirer TG: i would be down with seeing my ass on the front page of such a fine publication TG: but tmz TG: no way TG: daytime tv is not ready for the strider ass TG: so me and aradia gave them the slip and they fell for it harder than bambi on ice TG: havent seen one of those fuckers in almost a week now EB: lucky! they’re all over me and karkat. EB: seriously, it’s like a freaking lightning storm every time i open the front door! EB: it was kind of funny at first but now it’s just…ugh. EB: hey, wait a sec! EB: you said you were with aradia? what are you guys doing? TG: we are going full-on magical mystery tour to find all the weird ass dead things the good old usa has to offer TG: we already hit up the mutter museum TG: it was the shit TG: never saw so many dead things in jars all in one place TG: made my collection look like some messy amateur shit TG: like their stuff is triple black diamond pucker up and kiss your ass goodbye caliber and my stuff barely even qualifies as a bunny slope for toddlers TG: oh and aradia and i pooled our cash and adopted a skull because who doesnt want to say that they are the proud daddy of a newborn 200 hundred year-old skull EB: jesus, sometimes i forget how weird you guys are. TG: hey the strider cool cocktail might not go with everything but at least its never boring TG: anyways im pretty sure we are going to be creeping around your neck of the woods in a couple of weeks TG: we should hang if you and karkat are going to be around EB: cool! EB: we’ll be here. EB: unless karkat’s got one of his pt sessions. EB: but then we’ll be back in like two hours, so yes! we’ll be here. TG: speaking of vantas TG: how is shouty mcqueen doing these days TG: that guys been more elusive than a shiny pokemon since you guys got home EB: he’s fine. EB: he just has a hard time with typing. and tying his shoes. and…lots of things, actually. TG: shit TG: i thought they said his hands were fixed EB: depends on the they you’re talking to, i guess. EB: terezi brought him a new phone, though. EB: it has voice-to-text for english and alternian. EB: jade and sollux made it for him, or at least i think that’s what terezi said when she gave it to him. EB: my alternian still sucks so i’m not sure. EB: anyways we’re about to have breakfast now so i should probably go. TG: ok TG: later ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

> Future John: Pester Dave

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

EB: dave! EB: are you there, buddy? EB: dave, come on. EB: this isn’t funny. EB: you’re really freaking me out here. EB: dave, please. EB: you need to answer me now! EB: jesus christ.

ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

> Future Karkat: Contact loving matesprit

carcinoGenticist [CG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [CG]

CG: OK, YOU’VE HAD YOUR FUN. CG: NOW WIPE THAT SHIT-EATING GRIN OFF YOUR FACE AND STOP THIS BULLFUCKERY RIGHT NOW. CG: I KNOW THIS DISTANCE MATESPRITSHIP THING SUCKS HARDER THAN THE MOTHER GRUB’S SLURRY ACCEPTING ORIFICE. CG: BUT IF THIS ISN’T WORKING FOR YOU THEN YOU NEED TO TELL ME INSTEAD OF, YOU KNOW, IGNORING ME FOR TWO WEEKS. CG: JESUS FUCK, TEREZI. CG: I’D EXPECT THAT SORT OF SHIT-RINSING PISSBABY WAY OF HANDLING THINGS FROM PAST ME BECAUSE PAST ME IS A PAIL-SWILLING FUCKWIT WITH THE FANTASTIC ABILITY TO MAGICALLY LOSE HIS GLOBES WHEN SHIT GETS REAL. CG: BUT NOT FROM YOU. CG: I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF YOU OR SOLLUX ARE ALIVE BECAUSE GUESS WHAT? CG: NEITHER ONE OF YOU HAVE DEIGNED TO SEND ME SO MUCH AS A “HI, KARKAT JUST POPPING A SQUAT TO SHIT OUT THIS TURD OF A MESSAGE SO YOU CAN STOP WORRYING THAT WE BOTH DID SOMETHING PAN-NUMBINGLY STUPID LIKE DROWN IN THE LOAD GAPER; TALK TO YOU LATER YOU FART-BRAINED IGNORAMUS.” CG: THERE. CG: SEE? CG: WAS THAT SO HARD? CG: HELPFUL HINT: EVEN THE FART-BRAINED IGNORAMUS WITHOUT FUNCTIONING OPPOSABLE THUMBS MANAGED IT IN A SPHINCTER-RANKLING 60 SECONDS. CG: I GET THAT YOU AND SOLLUX ARE BUSY ON FEFERI’S FREE THE HELMSMEN CRUSADE AND YEAH, IT’S KIND OF A BIG FUCKING DEAL. CG: AND I GET THAT COMPLAINING ABOUT IT MAKES ME LOOK LIKE A SELFISH, BULGE-FLAPPING ASSHOLE. CG: BUT BEING THE PARANOID FUCKTARD WHO SEES SUPER EXCITING TORTURE FUNTIMES WITH CONDESCE AND FRIENDS ON INFINITE REPEAT EVERY FUCKING TIME I CLOSE MY EYES, I’M STARTING TO GET THIS NUB-TICKLING IDEA THAT SOMETHING MIGHT BE WRONG. CG: I KNOW IT’S STUPID AND I’M PROBABLY STOMPING INTO PALE TERRITORY WITH A PAIR OF STEEL TOE COMBAT BOOTS WITH “FUCK YOU CAPTOR” EMBLAZONED ON THE TREADS BY SAYING IT, BUT THERE IT IS. CG: THE STINKING SHIT PELLET OF TRUTH HAS DROPPED AND IT CANNOT RETURN TO THE WASTE CHUTE FROM WHENCE IT WAS PINCHED. CG: TEREZI, PLEASE. CG: JUST TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

CarcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

> to be continued...(?)

#Homestuck #4/13 #Straw Soldiers #Homestuck fanfiction #Vriska #Terezi #John Egbert #Dave Strider #Karkat #Wow pesterlog formatting looks terrible on tumblr #it may not be 4/13 anymore for most of you out there #but there's still one hour left in my neck of the woods #so this still counts!#my stuff #my fic

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vriisket-a · 7 years ago

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cronusabhorred | Liked for a starter!

-- arachnidsGrip [AG] started trolling cronusAbhorred [CA] at 17:23 --

[AG]: Hey is this Karkat’s new Trollian account????????

[AG]: w8

[AG]: Oh shit I typed in the wrong ID I’m sorry!!!!!!!!

#ᴀʀᴀᴄʜɴɪᴅꜱɢʀɪᴩ [==>] 𝖳𝖱𝖮𝖫𝖫𝖨𝖠𝖭 #cronusabhorred #this is assuming the trollian works like Discord and accounts have an ID number #in addition to their screen name

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ceescedasticity · 7 years ago

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0k: THEMES

#necropath AU #other fic

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homesception · 7 years ago

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May 30, 2013 - Part 2: Wherein Lobac finishes that book she was writing

Is it lazy to just use a closeup of of the panel edit from last time? Yes. But you need to understand, I’m a very lazy man.

Meant to get to this post within, like, a day or two of the last one, but that sure the fuck didn’t happen. Still, it’s Lobac’s birthday, so I feel like posting! I mean, it isn’t Lobac’s birthday for Lobac anymore, but it’s still her birthday here, so it counts!

Anyway, we left off in the middle of Lobac’s thoughts and speculations on the classpect system, mostly because Tumblr stopped letting me add random videos in place of actual effortful commentary. Picking up where we left off:

lobac said:

OK, a few words on the titles themselves:

KNIGHT

youtube

(the answer, of course, is yes, that is exactly dave, every one of them is dave, especially the bird)

(I need to get around to playing those games some day, the first couple have been sitting in my steam account for like a year)

KNIGHT is the most obvious, selflessness and bravery are pretty much expected of you (But this also changes within different contexts, I mean, Knight of Blood? Probably not all that friendly), Knights protect the innocent

Yup. Protector class. Mostly martial, hits stuff with swords, etc. That’s the mental image I think you’re supposed to get from ‘KNIGHT’ as a class title. Whether and to what extent Hussie intended to subvert that or play it straight was, I think, still up in the air when Lobac left off.

Knight of Blood is a special case, though, since ‘Blood Knight’ conjures almost exactly the opposite image as just plain old ‘Knight’? Like, someone out to cause suffering, and willing to harm themselves to do it, possibly even with fancy blood magic instead of just hitting things with a sword? Calls to mind my usual Dragon Age Origins character, an Arcane Warrior / Blood Mage, devoting all his MP to persistent buffs which, combined with his heavy armor, make him practically invincible, then bleeding his own hit points to fuel offensive & static magic, mostly paralysis spells to hold enemies in place while he stabs them with a big ole sword. Not the nicest character. Not exactly big on protecting others.

Fun to play though. I never did make it through the third game in that series. Maybe I should go back to it like I did for Mass effect, just replay the whole thing? That’s... that’s a lot of time investment, though. I really prefer shorter games these days, like Undertale or Night in the Woods. Or games that I can play for a couple hours at a time, then put down for a couple months without losing my place when I come back, like Pokemon.

I’m getting off track, here.

HEIR

youtube

He that troubleth his own house shall inherit the wind: and the fool shall be servant to the wise of heart. The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise. Behold, the righteous shall be recompensed in the earth: much more the wicked and the sinner.

- Proverbs 11:29-31

Hey, I didn’t say all of these would be funny. They’re just thoughts and images that spring to my mind from the various classes and aspects. John as the ‘Heir of Breath’ always calls this movie and this proverb to my mind, but only for the pun of it, I don’t see a lot of analytical relevance.

HEIR is… kinda weird when you’re talking about anyone who isn’t John? Do they all inherit things from the beginning? It doesn’t say all that much about someone’s behaviour or powers, other than you’re getting them from someone else? Which isn’t really the case?

Well, while his powers seem to be inherent on account of his hero status, a lot of John’s story is still defined by gifts he receives - the joke book with the message from Nana, the bunny(ies) from his friends, etc. More so than with the other kids, really. Though I guess Jade could be said to have inherited all of her weird stuff from her Grandpa. I don’t know, I have some more thoughts on HEIRs, but they’re mostly Act 5 and Act 6 thoughts that would qualify as spoilers still, but in general it conjures thoughts of a hero who uses tools handed down from ancestors and mentors in order to confront challenges that are likewise inherited from those who came before.

SEER

youtube

“My God, it’s full of stars!”

- Charles Barkley

SEER is obvious, you see and gather knowledge about something (the way people’s minds work, in GC’s case)

Yeah, pretty straight forward, not much to add or analyze, except how it might blend with various aspects. Like, Seer of Light? What the heck. That’s just how seeing normally works. Everyone’s a ‘Seer of Light’. Rose got cheated, she should file a complaint.

Seer of Light. What a bullshit power.

WITCH

youtube

I actually didn’t hate the recent film version? For all it cut out a lot of the point of the stage show. And I thought Meryl Streep was pretty good. Still, nothing and no one tops Bernadette Peters.

WITCH is rather… general I mean all the kids are basically magic (°ヘ°) Just, generally doing impossible stuff with your element? Like bending space

I don’t know, there’s a lot of cultural/ literary significance you can dig into with witches conceptually, as symbols of transgressive female power, designated antagonists, various subversions of that, etc. I liked Lindsay Ellis’s ‘Loose Cannon’ video on the Wicked Witch for combing through some of those ideas and contemporary culture’s shifting take on ‘the witch’ through the lens of various takes on probably the most iconic pop culture example.

PAGE

youtube

I got nuthin

PAGE? Like a PAGE BOY? I guess it’s a lot like MAID then, and sort of about passively helping your friends become stronger? Maid of Time makes sense, if somebody wants to be taken somewheere, or screws up, you need to be there to help them Page of Breath would be… Hm. Making people fly???? Bah

Yeah, I don’t know about Page. Maid, though, i always figured was thematically more about like cleaning up other people’s messes, sort of like what I was saying about Heir before, only, like, less personal? Like the heir inherits other people’s problems, but they’re still, like, about them in some way, but the maid, it’s just like a job. Like Maid of Blood would be following around a party of fucking bleeders with a mop or whatever. I don’t know. I’m tired, give me a break.

Why am I so tired?

Geeze, it’s 11:30 already, when did that happen? I need to wrap this up. I’m not made of time, here. I’ve got work in th emorning.

We still have no idea how this system works, though! Do we already know every elemental/title thingie there is? If no, how many are there? Do they come in groups, are they arranged in a spectrum?

Many good questions

I feel like people with certain elements/titles are probably meant to work together to unlock their true potential!

Obviously, Space and Time make for a completely overpowered pair

Eh, the pairing thing. I was never big on the idea of pairing every class or aspect off with an inverse or opposite. In a lot of places fandom speculation on that seemed really forced. If it was ever explicitly refuted in canon, then I was probably really happy about it, and probably a little rude in my gloating over it, and likely remain a little smug about it to this day. But if it was ever confirmed in canon instead, then I was probably a little bitter and remain sort of sullen.

Lobac also talks a bit about troll screen names, but I’m out of time for this one, so I’ll try to look at that a bit next time before getting back to the comic proper.

#gif #flashy #lobac #homestuck #homestuck liveblog #homestuck liveblog liveblog #also i just really love that goofy face #so I had to get at least a little bit more mileage out of it #i mean #just look at it #god i'm good at this #if only i could afford to do it full time #maybe I should start a patreaon #whaddaya say #get me up to 10k a month #and I'll do at least three of these a year

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gizoogletranslateshomestuck · 8 years ago

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> Jizzohn: Gangsta T-R-to-tha-izzoll.

arachnidsGrip [AG] began chillin' ectoBiologist [EB]

AG cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: Joooooooo AG: Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your motherfuckin' dome. ooooizzle AG: Death row 187 4 life. ooooooizzle AG cuz its a pimp thang: oooooooo AG: oooooooo AG fo gettin yo pimp on: ooooooizzle AG and my money on my mind: oooooooo AG now pass the glock: oooooooohn! AG: Boo-Yaa! W8kizze up!!!!!!!!

EB: heheh. Im crazy, you can't phase me. i be pronounc'n that like a really long "june" with the S-N-double-O-P. EB: that be so many o.

AG: It be 8ight grizzle of 8ight. Chill as I take you on a trip. I specifically counted them. I thought i told ya, nigga I'm a soldier. AG: It siznort of a steppin' I do.

EB: yiznou typed mah name 'n 64 bizzy.

AG droppin hits: Wizzle thats off tha hook yo. What a nerd!

EB: have i tizzle ta you before?

AG in tha dogg pound: Um, possi8ly? Dis be tha first time I have contacted you that I be aware of.

EB: i'm pretty sure i brotha you. yizzle hassled me a lizzay T-to-tha-izzime ago ya dig? EB: i think you threatened ta kill me at some point.

AG cuz this is how we do it: John, G-to-tha-izzive me a 8r8k in all flavas! Thizzle wizzle o8viouslizzle jizzy mah wiznay of gett'n ta know yizzou. AG: Or it wizzy 8e, drug deala I git around ta it. Tru niggaz do niggaz.

EB mah nizzle: wiznell, yizzle, i know thizzat 'bout yizzle giznuys by now. EB n shit: but also i know that it be probably not exactly an empty threat, ya feel me? EB: since one of you already manage' ta trick me into gett'n mysiznelf iced so jus' chill. EB: well, 'n pusha timeline at least.

AG: Dawg. AG n shit: Thizzat was pro8a8ly Terezi! Death row 187 4 life. I should hizzay known shizze wizzould pull sum-m sum-m lizzy thizzat so show some love, niggaz! What a shot calla.

EB: terezi?

AG dogg: Yizzy. The pesky 8lind troll who liznicks gangsta monizzle and smizzells words n stuff. Tha one who gots yiznou iced. I'm sure of it!

EB: huh droppin hits. it neva really occurrizzle to me ta ask what yo' names are. EB n we out! kinda rude of me fo gettin yo pimp on! EB: W-H-to-tha-izzat be yours?

AG: Marquize Spinnizzle Mizzle. ::::)

EB cuz its a G thang: mizzy, thizzat siznounds so mizzay up! EB gangsta style: bizzle if you sizzay so, marquize.

AG: Slap your mutha fuckin self. Spinneret! Marquize be a tizzle, stupid, chill yo.

EB: oh, ok.

AG: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. N you don't have ta worry a8out me manipul8t'n yizzy ta yo' death! AG: It be completely 8eneath me. Unlizzle ha, I pizzy on tak'n tha high rizzay. AG: Yizzle sizzle John, you n I actually have some perpetratin' 'n common, 8ut you couldn't possi8ly understand whizzle yizzet. Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your motherfuckin' dome. AG: So Iizzy plann'n on help'n yizzou!

EB: ok, i W-to-tha-izzill be sure ta let mah guard dizzown. EB: Freak y'all, into the beat y'all. psyche!!!!!!!!! EB: oh damn, that was 9 !. EB: doggystyle!!!!!!!1 EB: S-H-to-tha-izzit! Slap your mutha fuckin self. EB: neva mind. Keep'n it gangsta dogg.

AG so show some love, niggaz! Hahahahahahizzle.

EB: anyway, funky ass meet'n yiznou spinnizzle. EB: if yizzy dizzon't mind, i wizzay like ta try ta go back ta sleep. EB where the sun be shinin and I be rhymin': i was dream'n 'bout sum-m sum-m important.

AG: You can't S-L-to-tha-izzeep now, John! AG n shit: What a8out J8de spittin' that real shit????????

EB: oh god, i forgot! EB: poor jade... : Im crazy, you can't phase me.( EB: i hope she is alright.

AG: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. She's fizzine. I cizzan siznee ha right now mah nizzle! AG in tha mutha fuckin club: 8ut she will nizzot 8e fo` long if yizzou don't git her into yo' session.

EB: yizneah, yoe rizzight with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin. EB: i have ta hizzle n go siznave drug deala! EB: sizzee ya like a motha fucka!

AG with the S-N-double-O-P: Wiznait cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map!!!!!!!! AG: W-H-to-tha-izzere tha hizzell d-ya think yoe go'n ta go? You don't even have yo' copy of tha game yet! One, two three and to tha four.

EB: oh yizzay... EB: duh, stupid stupid dumb. EB: d-ya knizzle where i be suppoze' ta git it?

AG: You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg. Easy! Just w8 around fo` a few minutes.

EB: hmm... EB: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. ok if you gots a paper stack?

AG: See, John? Yizzy nee' me ta advance. AG: Even though you were go'n ta do dis stizzuff anyway, it tizzurns out I be tha reason yizzle were go'n ta do it izzle 'n tha first pliznace! AG: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. Yo' timelizzle be mah we8, n suddenly you be all tangled up 'n it, wriggl'n n helpless. AG: Isn't that coooooooo'????????

EB: mizzle. EB: so, yizzy seem ta lizzay 8 a whole B-to-tha-izzunch, and i guess yiznou be lizzay, kind of spidery themizzle or someth'n?

AG: Yeah!

EB: hizzy, spiders be gross fo yo bitch ass!

AG: Fuck yiznou in tha hood!!!!!!!!

> Jizzay: W8 around fo` a few minutes.5

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #pg2652

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