#aquarius over here

[hopeinthebox]

tagged by the lovliest @aprylynn and @cordiallyfuturedwight to kick off this year's musical archive

tagging favs: @thvinyl @kimtaegis @jihopesjoint @visionsofgideontheninth @hoseeok @eoieopda @monismochi <333 and whoever else this (dis)graces the dash of

[moonshynecybin]

fellow aquarius here! your last post RESONATED with me. curious if there’s been a particular moment where you’ve really had to sit with your aquarius nature while exploring rosquez?

i think my most aquarius trait is my militant fuckin contrarianism and i dont think they have that per say but i think they ARE deeply invested in themselves as individuals. the myth the legend the sort of. obsession with personal narrative even when it impacts other people around them. also how interested vale is in surprising people with the way he does things-- they both derive pleasure from being different ! whether that be from their ability to execute on the track or whatever. like if you go up to marc and call him a FREAK he will enjoy it so much lol

[muu-kun]

"Am I the drama? Oh, probably.."

[glitter-oracle]

HOW THE TURNTABLES. y/n should return all those close up interactions and sneak up on bucky. I know it's hard BUT IT CAN BE DONE!!

Sadistic- B. Barnes

Pairings: bucky barnes x reader, other characters make an appearance but it’s mainly natasha romanoff Warnings: mean bucky kind of, mutual pining, teasing, reader being flustered, super projection of my obsession with peanuts right now About: request! Bucky and reader didn’t get along and then bucky discovers she has a sensitive neck and basically uses it against her.

​​Bucky notices you before he sees you.

You’re hidden behind the kitchen island with your legs crossed beneath you and your fingertips grazing the tiles, the few stray strands of hair peeking past the granite of the counter giving you away.

He contemplates turning back nearly immediately, your presence pushing him out of a room as much as it is pulling him in, but it’s sheer greed that makes him lean on his feet, standing at a subtle angle to get even a brief look at you.

Your eyes are glassy and unfocused when he meets them, puckering aimlessly with the arrival of a crease between your brows. He shifts awkwardly in the entrance of the common room, watching you cautiously.

You don’t seem to notice his attention at all, eerily still and uncharacteristically distracted. Bucky should clear his throat, ask if you’re okay, but he hasn’t said something so kind to you in a while, and he’s unwilling to do so now.

What he should do, grounded in stupid values and teenage pride, is set his shoulders, stop squinting to see the outline of your lashes, and push past you to get to the fridge. You’re the one on the ground. He’s an innocent, thirsty bystander who has been looking forward to the cucumber water in the fridge all day.

He pauses, moves his limbs a little to see if you notice. If you do, maybe you’ll push yourself away from smack-dab middle, or maybe your eyes will widen in that sweet, apologetic way they do, where your lashes pinch at the corners in guilt, voice starting in an excuse he’ll scowl at, forcing yours to twist down wrongly at his reaction.

He can admit he’s selfish when you don’t waver and he stays put. Crassly, he leans against the wall and lets his pupils drag down your profile. He flushes immediately with heat and wishes you would rise to your feet and scold him for staring. He isn’t sure what sick part of him would like that most.

But you stay like that for a while, and when you do notice him, it’s an entirely underwhelming consequence. Your shoulders jump only barely and you offer him a vacant blink.

“Hey, Bucky.”

Your voice is quieter than usual but just as sordidly kind.

He grunts in response, setting his attention away from you and pretending like it was never there to start. You shift away when he steps in front of you, narrowly missing your nail. You frown down at your hands, glancing up at Bucky’s back.

He hears you stand, the soft sound your fingers make against the cupboard and the inhale you take. You twist your mouth and squeeze your fingers, eyes on him from your distance. He doesn’t turn to you.

“What’re you looking for?” you ask after a few seconds.

“Water.���

“Water,” you repeat. “The cucumber one? I’m so sorry, I just grabbed the last bit.”

He makes a low noise, shutting the refrigerator. “It’s fine.”

“No, no,” you argue, turning around to pull a mug from behind the fruit bowl. It’s chipped at the rim, with a pale yellow handle and thin vertical indents around its body. A bumpy orange mushroom is embossed over green blades of grass. You hook your middle and index fingers through the handle and hold it out to him expectantly. “You can have it.”

Bucky shifts on his feet, hands down at his sides. He wants to start kindly. “No.”

You blink at him. “Are… are you sure? I don’t think you’ve had very much. I haven’t drank from it at all, I promise. I just poured it before I…”

Bucky thinks he should ask. “‘M sure.”

You nod slowly, setting the mug down. There’s something hesitant and wanting over your features, a small crease back between your brows. “Okay then.” You offer him a smile, a little awkward but nonetheless pretty. He needs to go. “I can bring you some more? I usually buy it from this little vendor on Saturday, but I can make an early stop.”

“That’s okay.”

You chew on your cheek. “Maybe you want to go with me?”

He freezes. “What?”

You take in a big gulp of air, shoulders pushed back gently. “I feel like…” You chew your lip, mulling. Your eyes twinkle sadly. “We don’t really spend too much time together. And I’d like to.”

Bucky can feel heat creep awfully up his neck, a stabbing warmth in his chest. He needs to reject you right now.

You seem to read his mind, stepping backward and bumping into the counter. “You don’t have to—” You stumble over your feet in your efforts to give him space.

His hands shoot out to wrap around your forearms, pulling you upright. Your eyes are rounded, mouth still caught in an assurance, warm fingers twisted below his wrists to hook loosely on the hill of his pisiform.

He swallows, stepping back like your touch burned him. “No thanks.”

You frown, not wanting to push but feeling like you need to. You swallow the step he’d put between you. “Please? I promise I’ll make it fun. There are a lot of things there, maybe you could find Steve’s birthday gift.”

Bucky inhales shortly. “I got it already.”

He begins to sidestep you, a scorching buzzing he never realized was prickling beneath his skin finally beginning to ease. You grasp his arm and it peaks so high, he stops breathing for a second. The twinkle has come back, more melancholy than he remembered. Your lips pucker, eyebrows edging down. “Do you not like me?”

Bucky pauses, overwhelmed by the heat of your fingers. “What?”

Your teeth dig into your lip, thumb beginning to rap against the flat edge of his palm. He blinks. “You don’t seem to like me very much. Which is fine—I just… did I do something wrong?” Your voice closes on a mournful crest, features already sorry as your fingers continue their frantic dance on his skin. “I didn’t mean to.”

“No. Why would you think that?”

You frown. “You never talk to me unless you have to, you leave the room the moment I come in.”

“That’s not true.”

You cock your head at him, a little exasperated. “Bucky.”

“Fine.” He sighs, meeting eyes with your concern again. A beat passes. “Let’s go,” he says.

Your face lights up, although hesitant. “Really? Honest, you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“Really. Maybe I’ll get something else for Steve.”

You bounce gently on the balls of your feet, fingers looping tightly around his wrist. “Thank you. We’ll have fun, I promise.”

“Sure,” he says, rubbing the slope of his nose when you finally step back with a pretty smile. His wrist burns delightfully; he has to hold himself back from prodding at it with his fingers.

You stare at him for another second, eyes crinkling at their edges. “I’ll be right back. We’ll leave in ten minutes, is that okay?”

“Sure,” he repeats, watching you bound toward the elevator. Your lips are pinched tightly when you turn around, the bubbled highs of your cheeks betraying what you try to smother. 

When the elevator doors shut, he lets his eyes fall closed, dropping his head onto one hand. His pointer finger brushes against the skin you’d held, eliciting a lovely glittering where you’d rubbed the pads of your fingers.

His elbow bumps into something cold and fragile, which he looks down to see is your mug, quietly inched closer to him. Hesitantly, he loops a finger around the handle, lifting the smooth edge up to his mouth. You were right, the water is fresh and sweet.

He falls into the couch disappointedly to wait for you, letting his head tilt back and attention rest on the ceiling. His index strokes the handle with wobbly, hesitant lines, running over the movements of your own fingers in the bumps and ridges of the mug. Your ownership is painfully present, predictably foreign on Bucky’s tongue, yet not at all wrong where he has felt it most.

It’s not what Bucky expected.

He puts it down on the table, hoping the delicate circular teetering grounds him. It doesn’t.

-

You’re frantic when you push the door to your room open, entirely crammed with worries.

Your hair has refused to cooperate all morning, the shirt you’d pulled on has a tiny hole you hope Bucky didn’t notice, and your pants are a size too big, the stretchy bottom part of the left leg pulled up to the thick of your calf.

You try to remember whether or not you washed your nice jeans the day before, fingers deftly pushing away hangers and leaving only an ugly screeching sound that you can’t bother to notice. 

You don’t think Bucky likes you. In the decent amount of time you’d known him—a fraction of it with a word count—you had, at the very least, been reassured that he didn’t hate you. Bucky doesn’t seem to spend too much time hating in the icky, false sense of the word, not when he has so many possible receptors with real and raw reasoning.

You hold a shirt up to the light like it’ll help determine Bucky’s thoughts about it. Would he have any?

You shove the shirt back inside your closet and pull another off the hanger, stretching out the collar irresponsibly. Bucky seems to wear a lot of red. Is it because he likes it or has someone commented on how much it brings out his eyes?

You don’t think Bucky likes you. You’re determined to get him to.

He was wearing something red today. You pull on a pretty vermillion blouse with wide sleeves and a high neckline and try not to feel silly. Your foot taps nervously against the floor as you try to decide on earrings, taking a glance along the rows you have before you crouch down to pull on your shoes, browsing the image you’d caught in your mind. 

When you straighten, it feels as if entirely too much time has passed by, your head leady, vision thinned briefly. You decide on the Snoopy earrings you’d bought last week. Tiny, crescent-eyed Woodstock goes on your left ear and tiny, lovesick Snoopy goes on your right. He must know them, right?

You don’t look in the mirror before you leave, too confident that your reflection would send you tumbling back into your closet, slipping your choice off your earlobes. Your forefinger hooks on the bottom of your shirt, tugging down as you watch yourself in the closed doors of the elevator.

Slowly, you inhale. Exhale. Realize you’d closed your eyes and the doors are now open.

The pads of your fingers meet Snoopy’s small clay-lump-legs and you remember that you’re being ridiculous.

Calmer now, you prance over to Bucky, blinking at his shut eyes, body leant against the couch.

“Bucky?” you call. You bend at the waist, searching for a sign of life until your nose is very, very close to his. “Are you okay?” you whisper, unsure why.

Bucky startles anyway, meeting your fresher face. He has thoughts on the shirt.

He clears his throat. “Fine.”

You pull back, crossing your arms. “Did I make you wait long?” you stress, watching him get to his feet.

“No.”

You want to make a joke. You know what Sam would do—poke at his age, ask if the century was finally catching up. You contemplate it too long.

Bucky eyes the bag hanging from the crook of your elbow. You tilt it inconspicuously, flashing stupid buttons and silly pins. Bucky clears his throat. “Should we go?”

“Yes,” you say hurriedly, following after him as he heads to the elevator. It’s silent inside and all the way to the car, where you exchange a stilted smile for a glance when you plug in your phone with the address.

Your thigh shakes the entire ride, slowing momentarily for awkward, brief conversations when the silence gets too unbearable. You think about comfortable silence and how this is not it, icky regret crawling up your throat. You feel sticky and stupid.

“I like your earrings,” Bucky says unprompted. You’re too surprised to do much else than stare, thanking him after too long.

“You like Snoopy?”

He nods. You contemplate more questions, but he seems satisfied with his contribution.

You stare down at your bag the rest of the time, a finger tracing a big, glittery button from a goose race you never went to.

Bucky’s presence is too professional at the stands. He handles himself overly bodyguard-like around you, watching you pick things up with care and interact with vendors from just next to the tents. Rarely does he touch something himself.

You fiddle with a small notebook, catching his eye. You smile when he reads your mind, stepping over to your side to see over your shoulder. Half of his body is close enough to pull sparks from your opposite side. You try your best to concentrate.

“Steve,” you explain, twisting the little sketchbook around. He hums, the noise accompanied by a warm puff of air against the thin skin of your neck. You still completely, goosebumps rising immediately. You pray he doesn’t notice.

Of course Bucky does. He watches your chest still and can’t help the rise of the left edge of his lip. Experimentally, he blows a soft line along your neck.

You flinch, fingers going slack. Bucky reaches for the book before it can thump on the table, his eyes crinkled. You’re too distracted to notice the amusement on his face.

He hums. “That’s a good choice for Stevie.”

“Y-yeah.” You clear your throat, taking a step back but bumping into him. Your skin is delightfully warm even through his jacket, sharp tingles only tendered by your sweet chagrin.

Graciously, he steps aside, meeting your eyes and raising the book between his index and middle fingers. The buttons of the bag hanging off his wrist sparkle in the sunlight. He smiles, suddenly a lot less hesitant than this morning. “Found my present.”

You nod, leaving him to pay as you raise your hand to your collarbone, the pads of your fingers brushing over the goosebumps above the collar of your shirt.

You shiver again and wonder.

-

You’re anxious for more.

Bucky’s interactions with you are usually dismally brief. He says hi when you prompt him, returns tight smiles, and indulges your questions using as few words as possible. Last time, it was ten. The time before, five. Your peak is sixteen.

On the next movie night, you come downstairs half an hour before and claim a doughy two-person couch, sprawling a silky blanket over one side. You pop two bags of popcorn and stress that you made them too early, overcompensating with a variety of candy. It’s spread out with great care, the cushions adjusted, the furniture itself repositioned.

You sit on your side and pretend you’ve only just come when Sam heads into the living room, raising an eyebrow at you.

“What’s all this?” he asks, stealing a handful of popcorn. 

“Nothing,” you say, shifting as he pokes around your stash. Footsteps. “Go over there,”

“What?”

“Bucky won’t come over here if you’re standing there.”

Sam cocks his head. “Ohh, Bucky huh?”

“Go!” you urge, heat up to your ears when he satiates you, hands up in surrender as he walks away.

More Avengers filter in, at the very end Bucky. Your friends have decided to appease you today, occupying every space except the one by your side. Your leg bounces with anticipation.

Bucky looks at you, noticing everything you’ve done, and blinks away when you smile at him. Your shoulders sag, lips pursed achingly.

“You can sit here. If you want,” you say. “I got you some candy. I’ve seen you eating it before, and I thought you… you might like it.”

It’s a slim moment—but a moment nonetheless—before he answers. “Okay. Thank you. I’m gonna get a drink before the movie.”

“I’ll go with you,” you pipe up, a few of the others joining you to pour sodas and chips into bowls.

You’re reaching for a glass when you feel him behind you, stretching for another.

You shiver when you feel air against the nape of your neck, knee knocking loudly into the counter.

He’s away from you before you can process it was him, innocuously pulling open a drawer.

Everyone meets your eye questioningly. “You okay?” Natasha asks.

You nod, pupils flickering to Bucky, who would seem entirely innocent if his irises weren’t so glittered with mirth.

You frown at him, confused when he’s completely unchanged, simply walking beside you back to his seat.

You split your attention between the movie and Bucky’s face for the first hour, realizing you should never have let it stray when he reaches for his glass of water and brushes a very warm finger right below your jaw.

You stare at him perplexedly, his features outlined by the flickering light of the television.

“Butter,” he lies, shrugging. Then, he turns back to the movie and ignores you for the rest of the night. You can’t remember the name of the movie by the next day.

-

The round tip of your little finger aches with a small papercut.

The paperwork piled up at the edge of your desk mocks your wound, edged paper corners peeking out as if a warning.

You watch wine bubble, a fat drop beginning to edge closer to the crevice between nail and skin. Holding back an urge to shove your finger into your mouth, you clasp a tissue with your other hand, wrapping it tightly around your wounded finger.

You blow a gentle raspberry and lean back in your seat; a silent resignation: the paperwork wins.

Natasha meets your eye from the couch across the hall, appearing to read your mind in the sharp way she can do. She frowns, an exaggerated pull to her lips, falsely thinned eyes glaring. She crosses her arms and puffs her chest out, shaking her head in a distinct disappointment.

You stifle a laugh and present your injury to her.

Her lips part in overt understanding, nodding slowly. Poor baby, she mouths.

Poor baby, you agree, cradling your hand.

She laughs, standing up to walk toward you. When she gets to you, she picks up a pen off your desk, squinting at the words peeking out beneath the covers.

“This is from two months ago,” she says unhelpfully, tapping it with your pen.

“That’s not even the oldest one there,” you deplore, letting your head drop on your desk with a mournful sigh.

“Why do you insist on falling behind?” she tuts.

“I’m hurt!” you insist, pushing your finger toward her. She cocks her head at you but cradles your hand. “Every time I try, it’s like it fights back!”

“If you need help…” Natasha mutters something in Russian and brushes her lips against your pinky, making you smile.

You simper. “Did you just heal me?”

“No. I cursed you for being lazy.”

You frown, taking back your hand to hold it against your chest. “I’m good,” you say, responding to her earlier offer. You heave a big sigh. “Thank you, though. Evil woman.”

She smiles at you, shaking her head when she sees your opposite fingers wrapping around your injured one. “You like to suffer.”

“How dare you,” you mumble, urging another bloody bead to form.

“Deviant,” she claims, walking away.

You don’t look up to blow a raspberry at her, dragging your nail up your skin until a thicker drop forms.

It’s a fairly challenging game you have going on, making your bead grow while trying to keep it plump and steady on the tip of your little finger.

If you breathe a little too hard, it wobbles, and you clamp your lips closed, holding your breath and freezing entirely for a few seconds until it’s still again.

It’s a concentration game. And Bucky takes advantage of it.

You press the indent between your bones gently, immersed enough to only recognize his presence when he begins to speak.

“Don’t do that,” he condemns, suddenly right behind you. He must be bent over, lips a millimeter away from the curve of your neck for you to feel every intricate vibration of each word he says. You flinch immediately, an already hot cheekbone bumping against his chin.

When you catch sight of him, he’s already straightened, perfectly calm.

“What?” you croak, warm fingers against the warmer skin below your earlobe.

“You cut yourself,” he says.

“Uh huh.”

“Why are you making it worse?”

“I… I’m not.”

His face stains only lightly in dissent, dissolving like a single droplet of color in an ocean of clear.

He doesn’t respond audibly, only shrugging and walking away. You only realize he’d pressed a clean, colorful band-aid on your desk after he’s out of the office.

There’s a streak of cherry red along your finger when you finally look down, only observing its head create a fat scarlet stain on your sleeve. You curse Bucky and the goosebumps still high on your skin.

-

You suspect Bucky to be somewhat of a sadist.

He doesn’t seem to mind the effect he’s carved into you, nearly reveling in it as if your embarrassment were some sort of thrill. You find yourself shivering prematurely the moment he steps foot in a room, the sight of him accompanied by the imminent line of ice along sensitive skin.

He’ll embarrass you wherever. Make you choke on your tea right before a meeting, burn yourself on a fresh tray of cookies, trip over shoes, and crash into walls. And he’ll watch you, lousily stifling a smile before tending to whatever he’d caused as if he wasn’t at fault for it.

Guiltily, you yearn for the roles to reverse. Or for yours to lessen. 

Slumped on the couch in the living room with a bowl of oily popcorn, you contemplate your situation with Snoopy.

All you had wanted was a sign further than acknowledgement. Something realer than his bitter, thin smile, maybe one of the laughs you’d been so eager to hear in real life. At the most, a purposeful touch; still kind, still real, probably brief. But what you’ve gotten surpasses what you’d initially desired in delightfully awful ways.

When you think about it, your situation doesn’t seem too fat with issue. You can’t recall a substantial conversation with Bucky, but you can remember with perfect clarity how warm his lips are from a millimeter away. It brings up the contemplation on whether or not it’s an actual issue to begin with.

You’re tempted to ignore it. You’re very, very tempted to let him continue his cruel attentions and let yourself become further putty in his presence.

What would you even do? You can’t see yourself pulling him forward by the collar—to make a point, of course, not to brush your fingers against his own neck to see him shudder—to look him in the eyes while telling him that you know what he’s doing. Especially when you don’t. Primarily when you aren’t sure what the point of the conversation would be—to tell him to stop? You aren’t sure you want him to.

It’s easier to push it aside and let him torture you. Maybe you’ll become impervious to Bucky Barnes’ bullying.

You push yourself straighter and let your head fall back, listening to Charlie Brown’s mournful voiceover.

“What if everyone was like you? What if we all ran away from our problems? Huh? What then? What if everyone in the whole world suddenly decided to run away from his problems?”

Your eyes pop open with a startled frown, watching his cartoon throw his little arms up and sigh.

Linus appears, but you don’t listen to his words, letting the fleshy part of your palm support your chin. The pads of your fingers float up to the space behind your ears, and you feel yourself flush immediately with recognition. Bucky is a sadist, sure. But you’re a masochist. 

With a dejected huff, you let your hands drop to the popcorn. 

It’s not even a full episode past when something shifts. You frown, covertly examining your surroundings with edged brows.

Two hands form deep clefts in cushions on either side of you, body heat sticky against the skin it can touch.

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asks quietly, lips so close to your ear you can feel the echo of their movements. His breath prickles your neck.

“Um…” You struggle to respond, your tongue suddenly too dry. In the background, Lucy shouts something. It sends the dumbest feeling into your chest. Charlie Brown is right.

You gather up all the courage inside of you, rolling it up into the tightest and biggest little ball you can, and snap your neck to the side, catching his gaze before he can move in surprise.

You’re closer than you thought you’d be. You can see all the pretty little details of his face, the way his pupils eat the lovely blue of his irises and how high his Adam's apple bobs.

“What’s wrong?” you echo gently, sweetly mocking.

He stammers, charcoal lashes fluttering.

You hum, examining his face one last time before hopping off the couch to go to the kitchen, leaving him slumped over the couch, dazed.

[phoenixrisingastro]

Astrology Observations: Relationships, Placements, and Vibes

Let’s dive into some random (but juicy) astrology observations for today. These are straight from my experience, conversations, and observations over time. Let me know if any of these hit home.

1. Mars in Cancer 🦀

They’re not aggressive, but when pushed, their emotions fuel their actions. Don’t mistake their kindness for weakness—they’ll protect what they love fiercely.

2. Capricorn Rising 🏔️

They have this unshakable vibe that says, “I’ve got my life together,” even if they’re secretly panicking inside. Long-term success? Always in the back of their mind.

3. Moon-Venus Aspects in Romance 💕

People with these aspects are lovers through and through. They crave emotional closeness and need to feel appreciated in relationships. Emotional neglect? Big dealbreaker.

4. Libra Sun (Fall) vs. Aries Sun (Exaltation) ♎ vs. ♈

Libra Suns shine when they collaborate and create harmony, but they can lose themselves trying to please others. Aries Suns, on the other hand, have that bold “I’ll take the lead” energy—sometimes to the point of being reckless.

5. Venus-Pluto Aspects 🔥

These people love deeply, and when I say deeply, I mean all-or-nothing. They’ll transform through their relationships, for better or worse. If you’re not ready for intensity, don’t play.

6. Gemini Mars 💨

These folks argue with finesse—it’s like a debate masterclass. They’ll have you second-guessing yourself even when they’re clearly wrong.

7. Pisces Moons 🌊

They don’t just feel emotions; they absorb them like sponges. If they’re not careful, they can confuse their feelings with other people’s vibes.

8. Scorpio Venus 🦂

Possessive? Maybe. Devoted? Absolutely. Their love language is “prove it,” and once you’re in their heart, they’ll hold on for dear life.

9. Aquarius Rising 🌌

Their energy is unique—like they’re always slightly ahead of their time. People either love their eccentricity or just… don’t get it. No in-between.

10. Venus in Aries vs. Venus in Taurus ♈ vs. ♉

Venus in Aries falls fast and loves hard, but they get bored easily. Venus in Taurus takes their time—they’re all about building something solid and sensual.

11. Leo Mars 🦁

Their drive is fueled by recognition. They don’t just want to win—they want everyone to see them win. Drama? It’s their middle name, but it makes them unforgettable.

12. Sun-Pluto Aspects 🌑

These people are born to transform, often through intense challenges. They’re not afraid to face their shadows and rise stronger every time.

Your Turn:

Do you resonate with any of these? Or maybe you’ve got your own observations to add? Drop them in the comments—I’m always here for good astro convos!

[cupidlovesastro]

𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔬𝔦𝔡 𝔢𝔯𝔬𝔰(433) 𝔬𝔟𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔳𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰

eros is the god of love and sex. i will be using @a-d-nox interpretation of this asteroid, as i find it accurate. to see her post click here

disclaimer: there will be mature and sexual themes in this post, so if you are under 18 dni

venusian eros/ eros aspecting venus can mean people are obsessed with your beauty

neptunian eros/ eros aspecting neptune can show that people fall blindly in love or lust with you

aries in eros can mean you obsess, lust, or fall in love over people fast. this can also mean people do this over you too

libra eros can represent that you love skin to skin contact

eros in 2h can mean you will or have been given an ultimatum about love and money

eros trine mercury can show that making romantic or sexual novels, poems, or fan fiction will be something your talented at

plutonian eros/ pluto aspecting eros can mean that people obsess over you deeply

eros in 11h shows you enjoy having sex with more than 1 person at a time, or you usually have more than 1 person to link with

taurus eros means that love interest will be very loyal to you, even if your not in a committed relationship

aquarius eros shows you will love/ lust over someone regardless of what others think or say

eros in 7h can mean you look for marriage when also looking into potential lovers

eros in 1h represents being openly sexual or that you are often lusted over because of your appearance

middle banner by @rookthornesartistry

[thedivinetarot]

'Cause I like you quite a lot, it's you who I adore though I make boys fall like domino's

Who has a crush on you?

☆ How to chose your pile?

Close your eyes and clear your mind. Take a deep breath and ask the question in your head. And shall the picture you are drawn to the most be your pile.

☆ Disclaimer:

This is a general reading so take what resonates and leave the rest. In this reading I won't do an energy check since many of you are not resonating with it anymore.

Mood board from @divinationsanctuary19

Pile 1 - Pearls

☆ Who?/ physical description:

I see that this person has self esteem issue. I see them as someone who really might have confidence issues. And it affect their life in a really negative way. Okay, also this person is workaholic until the point of exhaustion. They may stay up at night because of tiredness. I see that they work a lot. This person might be a soulmate/twin flame of yours. This person might be a co-worker of yours. They have a lot on their plate. This person is someone who is really family oriented. Someone who values family and find emotional fulfillment within a family. Someone who is managing their family finances. They might have a family (wife/children) or they are spending their money on their parents. Or maybe this person is already married omg (this is so spicy I can't😭). The 10s cards are repeated twice so this person might be someone who is socially in a higher place than you. It also gives me boss energy, someone in a higher status with lots of money and resources. But they got it all from their work, their own work. Now with their physical appearance: this person has dark brown hair, brown or black eyes. Someone who look younger than their actual age. Someone whose physical appearance to them is a source of insecurity or they are closed off. This person's aura seems very calm and soothing. I see that their shoulders are slightly wide and their body proportions almost equal. Physically, this person is average like nothing really make them stand out and you can easily not notice them in the crowds. The thing (I'm going to add a note here) this person is happily married to their spouse/ wife. And they have a legacy with them but now we will know why they are crushing on you.

☆ How do they see you?

Will first I see that their first impression of you was quite sharp. They saw you as someone who is quick witted and quite sharp mentally. You might appeared very smart to them which really attracted them to you. They also got attracted to your confidence and your youthful spirit. This person physically saw you as someone who is cute and baby doll. I don't know why I got baby-daddy/mommy dynamic. This person sees your beauty now as soft and delicate. Like their first impression on you was nothing like how they see you right now. I see that right now they see you as someone who is delicate, sweet and pure. Also I got the 9 of cups which is quite weird position for it. Well, even though this person is married and have a legacy they see that you might be someone who is good for them or their wish fulfillment. In addition, your cold and aloof attitude draws them to you even more. I see that you make them remember someone, to them your aura is very familiar. You remind them of someone they used to know when they was younger. (Idk why I'm picking on someone who is OLD and established).

☆ Placements for you:

Pisces, cancer, Aquarius, Gemini and mars in Aries.

☆ How do they feel?

Well, I see that you took this person off guard when you appeared in their life. You wasn't on their plan and meeting you was something unexpected at all. I see that what they feel for you is quite delightful. I see that this person really get distracted whenever you are around. I see that when they see that you are around they stand and stare, a wave of excitement and emotions overwhelm them. They feel that they want to protect or get possessive over you. This person either fear those emotions or they keep them to themselves. I see that whenever you are around they get quite and just STARE and you. Like your whole presence put them at ease. They also feel giddy and happy but can't seem to show it off because it will put them in a questionable place.

☆ Placements for them:

Aries, Sagittarius, virgo, Gemini, Pisces, Capricorn. Or mercury, dominant for them.

Pile 2 - Doves

☆ Who?/ their physical appearance?

Well, I see that this person is quite sad. I feel like you see those guys who listen to lana? Beautiful but sad? he gives of the same vibe. I see that this person gives off the impression that they work so freaking hard but they don't get paid enough. You see those people who works in malls? At the cashier? I think also that this person might work in a job that really don't pay them enough. They look so tired and above all they are stubborn. They don't wanna let go of that job. I see that this person is very emotionally content on their own and also I see that there's a distance between you two. You might meet them when you are traveling. I feel like this person might work so hard to prove themselves but their efforts go unnoticed. Which frustrate them even more. I see that this person is quite smart and detached but their stubbornness is the only thing that cause them trouble. I see that they know when to strategically use their wit. They might be someone who is considered smart academically. I mean I got the king and queen of swords. This person whenever you see them they display a bitch face. Or they look grumpy. They look emotionless, no expression. I see that they got heartbroken before but they got over it and found peace with it. I see that they took the lesson and healed so don't worry that they will break yours. But anyways, I see that might build up a lot of walls around themselves so you can't hurt them again. Now for the physical appearance this person have brown to black hair. Or espresso black hair. Their eye color is definitely brown or hazel. I see also that they work out a lot. Their body is defined and considered fit. Their hair might be wavy or a little bit frezzy. They are average like from 5'3 to 6'0 (173 to 182 cm). Their face is always serious, they look angry all the time. They might also be an introvert too. Like you won't see them hanging out with more than 2 to 3 people.

☆ How do they see you?

Okay, first.... I see that this person see that you are someone who is apathetic. Like especially in work settings. They see that you should not be in the place you are in at all. This might be their initial impression of you. You might come off as someone who lack motivation or apathetic and even lazy. I also that this person might see you as sorceress 😭. I see that they see you as someone who is very alluring like... alluring emotionally. You might be someone with a lot of charms, like you know how to treat people with kindness and compassion. I see also that they see you as someone with a lot of calm and serene aura with a mix or confidence and authority. You come off to this person as someone who is confident, authoritative with a hint charisma and emotional maturity. I see that with alot of this they see you as someone who is a bit conservative about your social interaction, like you don't associate yourself with a lot of people or you keep your interactions limited. I don't know why I feel like this person really want to reach you but they feel like you are distant. It feels like they are reaching for the moon when they are dealing with you. Also, you might intimidate them with the way you walk. Like you seem sharp when you are walking, you don't look at people you only look at where you are going.

☆ Placements for you:

Gemini, Scorpio, Aries, Leo, Capricorn. Mercury, Mars, Pluto, Saturn, jupiter. Sun or moon in the 1st, 3rd, 8th, 5th, 10th house in the chart, Pluto and mars making aspects to your ascendant.

☆ How do they feel?

This person feels very at peace when they look at you. I see that since you have a very calming and trusted aura they feel very at peace with the thought of you. I see that they feel very confident that one day you'll be their wifey lol. They feel this unconditional love towards you, I'm not joking at all the cards are very positive. I see that the first time they interact with you might happen through text or a following request on social media. They might be so sure that they want you. I see also that whenever they look at you they feel this feeling that they can leave their bad days and heal from bad experiences. Maybe the thought of you put them at ease. Like your aura is incredible to the point that they feel very calm when they think of you🥺. I see that they have a hint of passion towards you too. They might act more energetic and confident around you just to get you to notice them. I hope that by now you knew them pile 2. Take care💕.

☆ Placements for them:

Fire placements (leo, Aries and sagittarius) , Taurus, Cancer, Gemini, Mar in gemini, Venus in taurus, Jupiter, moon, Venus dominant in their chart. Sun or moon in the 1st, 9th, 5th, 2nd, 4th, 3rd house.

Pile 3 - Hands of a lady

☆ Who?/ physical appearance

Well, that's huge but what I'm seeing is someone that is very skillful, they embody the magician card. Someone very skillful, very good at turning their wishes into reality. They are very strong individual with a charismatic aura. They might be student in your school or college. I'm picking up on someone who studies at the same institution as you and if not then they might have took the same class as you (doesn't have to be school or college it might be as simple as pottery class). I see that this person really travels a lot. And very successful in their work (if they do so). This person is very fair. When they love you they give more than they receive, someone who is selfless and patient. They might have forward thinking because they worry alot about the future. They also get very doubtful about opportunities and they sabotage it by themselves unfortunately. This person has a lot of potential, and skills but they are either too lazy or too doubtful to work on them. Now their physical appearance, this person is in their 20s as I said above they might be a college student or still in school. Hair is silky and straight and for a very little group here this person has curly hair. Their hair color is unique or they dyed it. Their natural hair color might be blonde and they dye it black or the opposite. The way that they carry themselves is very elegant. It gives off someone who is rich. Even if they are not rich their aura seems very rich and elegant. They might wear a potato sack and appear beautiful. They possess natural beauty. They might be sad too, or they appear sad or their mouth drop downward like this face (😞). They might wear a lot of green? Yes I guess so. I guess this person wear alot of green and it look fabulous on them. Eye color might be mixed, like you see that person whose eye color change with lighting? I'm getting brown greenish or green or brown or even hazel. Did it resonate with you pile 3? Tell me if so and take care💕.

☆ How do they see you?

Well, I'm getting that this person sees you as someone who is intimidating. I see that they get terrified whenever you are around. Also, someone unpredictable with sharpness around the edge. Maybe you are enneagram 8? Or ISTP? I see that you dress in a way that is quite edgy. Like not the typical good girl way of dressing. Something very black edgy and emo. But you beauty is very alluring to them. I see that the way you dress might be revealing? Like you might show your boobs or wear mini skirts or you intend on revealing lots of skin or cleavage. I see that they like your cleavage or your boobs. I see that it is the thing that really attracted them to you. This pile feels more physical and sensual, like this person's main focus in your physical body. I see that they really see that you are someone with very alluring beauty. Something like a siren. You put a lot of thought into your appearance. And you take care of your health and body. I see that you appear as a mystery to that person, someone who is beautiful, and mysterious. They see the potential of this to grow into something more lighthearted and healing.

☆ Placements for you:

Pisces, Leo, Virgo, Scorpio, Aries, Aquarius. Venus in virgo, harsh aspects between Mars and sun in your chart. Mars, Mercury, Sun, Moon dominant in your chart.

☆ How do they feel about you?

They want to come towards you. I see that they already thought about it and it seems very sure of themselves. I see a grand gesture, something carefree and diplomatic. They might gentlemanly help you in something you are doing so they can be close to you. I see that whenever they think of you a strong feeling of love and nurturing take over them. They want to take care of you. They feel also like your relationship with them is fated. Like you both are meant to be. I see that they try to move on from you but whenever they try they fall harder lol. You might not study in the same class but meet in the hallways and they feel very electrified whenever you are around. You see that feeling of electricity pass through you when you see your crush? They feel the same way. But generally, they feel very positive towards you. So, enjoy it baby💋. I hope you enjoyed the reading pile 3.

☆ Placements for them:

Gemini, virgo, Libra, Aries, Scorpio. Mercury, Saturn, Pluto, mars. 1st, 3rd, 7th, 8th, 6th house placements.

Pile 4 - Lady and sea waves

☆ Who? Their appearance:

Pile 4 is that your ex? I feel like this is someone who is very earthy. I mean someone who used to keep you close to them but now they are far away? I see that you had a fight with them and it was because of their possessiveness or jealousy towards you which was unbearable. I see if you are away from this person they want to start all over but in a tricky way. Like they might reach out to you in a way that might not hurt their ego. I see that even after this they are unsure if this is going to last or not. They just want you back. I see that they used to carry a lot of uncertainty and they felt super unsure of where things are going and now if they return it won't be how you expected? I mean this person hasn't changed yet and they do not intend to change. I mean they want you back just to prove to themselves that they can have you back. I think this person was dedicated? And all of sudden things just changed. I don't know if you should get back to them or not. I don't like their energy, it feels very tricky and deceiving. I guess that they are attached to you emotionally. They do not intend on breaking free out of this toxicity. This person is toxic they do not want to change and at the same time they want you back. Now for their appearance, this person might wear heavy clothes even during summer. Their hair is wavy or straight, I see that the color range from blonde to light brown. And they are pale AF, also for some they have a very dark undertone. I'm picking up on someone who wears a lot of white shirts too. This person has medium height and for some they are short lol. For their eye color mostly brown and other have blue eyes I'm not picking on anything specific could be hazel too.

☆ How do they see you?

Well, I'm picking up that this person see how emotionally distant and cold you are. You might have given them a lot of attention that made their confidence sky rock. I see that they know how much anxiety they caused you, they know that they are the reason that you are distant and cold towards them and other people. I kept typing void? So you might have filled the void inside them and they got attached? I got the devil card twice and no it doesn't have to be that they see you as someone who is sexy. They see that they are attached to you. I see also that you bring them a lot of anxiety. Because as I said before, because they are toxic; they know how tick you boxes and use you whenever they want. And they are very sure that you are going to satisfy their ego (please don't you are more than this). They give off the vibe of someone who is emotionally distant... avoidant to be more specific. They know how much they have caused you and doesn't intend on making things better, they want you because they are attached to you emotionally not because they love you so be careful pile 4 you are amazing🤍.

☆ Placements for you:

Aries, Gemini, Leo, Libra, Capricorn, jupiter, mars, Sun as dominant planets in the chart. Or those placements as sun moon or ascendant.

☆ How do they feel about you?

They feel very sure of themselves that you are going to fill up their void. I see alot of imbalances in this relationship, someone here is taking more than they receive and the opposite. I see that they have quite mixed imbalanced feelings towards you and they are not sure of how to deal with all of them. One day they feel like yes, they love you and they will do better and other times they feel like you are too much and they doesn't understand themselves. I hate their energy, maybe you are with them because you feel pity for them not because you love them. If you end this I assure you that you'll get better soon. I mean the general dynamic between you two is quite toxic and imbalanced. They don't know how to keep you and how to let you go so please be the reason for this to end. Sometimes, leaving is better than staying for something that is no good for you. Take care pile 4 💕.

☆Placements for them:

Taurus, virgo, Scorpio, gemini, Libra, Sagittarius. Saturn, Pluto, mercury dominant in their chart. Or their moon, sun or ascendant in those signs.

Post date: 30th of Nov/ 2024 - Sat

* Feedback is appreciated

[michellesneptune]

HOW THE MOON SIGNS ACT WHEN THEY LOVE YOU pt. 2

cancer moon/4h

ultimate cuddlers!!!

this is really biased and feral but i feel like people are here for the tea??

although i think they can be extremely sweet and loving, my opinion remains the same: not all cancers are to be trusted. i think it’s heavenly to be in their good graces, but i also feel like the closer you get, the harder it becomes to be genuinely accepted by them. that is, of course, if they don’t see you as fully deserving of their love. i have yet to be in a relationship with a cancer sun/moon that gives me their full trust. i always feel like they’re frugal with their love towards me. their intentions seem a little hmmm unclear? like they will not speak up about something they don’t accept about you but slowly, in their hearts, they turn away from you??

i am of course speaking solely from my experience. moon is at home in cancer, embodying the archetype of Demeter — the goddess of fertility. when Demeter gets back her beloved daughter, she blesses the whole earth with months of fertile spring. however, when things don’t go her way and Persephone returns to Hades, everyone has to suffer from her sadness during the barren winter months.

if they perceive you as a really worthy partner, they will spoil you with affection. nevertheless, i’d rather not get the short end of their stick!

leo moon/5h

leos have this innate need to feel proud of their lovers. potential partners should possess the it factor about them, da special sparkle. this also applies to their friends! it makes sense, as the sun in them shines so bright, they want their people to illuminate as brightly.

i believe their standards are even higher than virgos’ or capricorns’ and it’s not talked about enough! leos will not engage with just anyone! they have this splash of royalty in them, they can sense a weak self-esteem from a mile.

they want to be able to talk and talk and boast about you. and they want you to make them feel like the only girl in the world.

but here’s the clue. if they feel like you’ve become too boring, their loyalty won’t let them break up with you but slowly the flames stop burning. i’ve seen this happen in a leo moon-taurus moon relationship which makes sense, as taurus prefers persistent, daily acts of service that build a steady, reliable love over time, whereas leo lives for the drama, for the promise of an eternal love, big displays of affection, achieving greatness together.

i’m so sorry if this sounds harsh. i find leo placements to be lovely, all the people i hold dearest to me have them (it’s my descendant sign!). they’re so so open and warm, nearly everything is easy with them.

scorpio moon/8h

i need a scorpio moon friend right. now.

they seem like small, adorable babies who will give up everything for the true, devoted love. their feelings’ depth knows no bounds. extremely loyal, obsessive in the best way possible, what they seek in the other person is a safe haven to hide all their emotions in.

they’re portrayed as very secretive and closed off, even manipulative, but inside they are dying to show somebody their real self. because yeah, behind the darkness there is a small sleepy kitten i feel like.

also here’s the thing: they didn’t choose the darkness, it chose them. their intensity is draining for you, but it’s them who have to deal with it non stop. their emotions are turbulent and it’s often hard to be peaceful, but if you’re willing to accept them as they are and share your own darkest vulnerabilities, they’re yours forever.

aquarius moon/11h

these natives are the best of friends that you could ever wish for! they’re extremely invested in their friend groups, always making sure to initiate contact and check in. they need this as much as they need to breathe and eat! as we know, aquarius is traditionally ruled by saturn, so maybe that’s why they act like glue, keeping their friendships alive, not letting the bonds fall apart as they often sadly do without proper nourishing!

in this situation though, a hierarchy is formed and, sorry to inform the hoes, you come after bros :((.

these guys can be so unpredictable with their feelings i guess there’s no formula on how to get them. i would say befriend them first and then be eccentric enough to still spark the electric interest, the one that they seek in potential partners.

what’s worth noting is the fact that aquarius is a fixed sign, so whatever their quirks may be, they ultimately are loyal and devoted. they are a great paradox and even if they seem detached, they pay attention to their surroundings. whom they need is a persona as big as theirs, someone that shares their passion for the world and everything it has to offer, preferably concerned with big ideas and humanitarian causes. they notice magic in the mundane so their spouse needs to be special as well! when they find you and you find them, you become their person.

the bond they create with lovers might seem unusual to those of more traditional views. aquarius natives need their time away and a lot of solo time to detach and recharge. however, in turn, they will blow your mind with extraordinary thoughts and you will never look at life the same!

[glitter-oracle]

AWAKE BUT AT WHAT COST

As If It Was Really That Easy

Summary: There's nothing more painful than wondering what your love could have been.

Pairing: Bucky x Female!Avenger!reader, Bucky x Natasha, Steve x Female!reader

Genre: Angst

Warnings: Emotional infidelity (if you squint), love triangle. Sad ending - proceed with caution.

Word count: 8.2k

Being in love with someone who was already taken must have been a torture created by the Devil himself.

You hadn't planned on falling for him when you first met him. Then again, no one plans on falling in love. You thought that love was simultaneously the most beautiful and cruel phenomenon of all - it was capable of making you feel like you wanted to protect and care for him with all your heart, but also bring out the ugliest of emotions: jealousy, sorrow and misery, to name a few.

You thought you would get over it, eventually. And it had become easier, seeing Bucky and Natasha together, as time passed. A consolation for your unreciprocated love was the fact that you had found a new, adopted family within the Avengers, and that made you happier than ever.

You would do anything for them, to protect them. You fiercely reminded yourself of this whenever you found yourself looking at Bucky a little too long, or when your skin burned at his touches.

He's just the same as everyone else.

You teetered at the precipice of falling into an abyss that you wouldn’t be able to climb out of, feeling so frustratingly infatuated with someone you couldn’t have, and you were determined not to let yourself topple over the edge.

You didn't know how your platonic feelings for him had spiraled into something so much more, but if you could fall in love, you were certain you could fall back out.

Steve insisted on celebrating your one year 'anniversary' of joining the team, gifting you a small cupcake with red, white and blue sprinkles, ruffling your hair with a playful wink. You had no idea how time had elapsed so quickly, but there you were.

It was the start of a new calendar year, too - as you blew out the tiny candle Steve had stabbed into the cake, you promised yourself resolutely that this would be the year you would really made an effort to get over a certain, ruggedly handsome brunette. You didn't want to spend more time unhealthily pining over a man when you could find somebody who actually loved you, too.

Fantasizing about him was an unhealthy, self-inflicted torture. You were confident that he had no idea what your true feelings were, and you would never dream of telling him. You adored Natasha as much as anyone else, and the idea of stepping in-between the two of them was unfathomable.

However, your feelings for Bucky had no doubt wedged an invisible wall between yourself and Natasha, even if you didn't realize it. It meant that you were never quite able to be fully open with her, fearful that if she was able to read you like she was with everyone else, she would know that you were completely enamored with her boyfriend.

It was slightly hard to disguise your affection when you saw Bucky get hurt. To Natasha, it was a regular, everyday occurrence, unworthy of particular fuss - but when you saw him, you wanted so badly to ask him if he was okay.

Today was one of those days. You and Steve were in one of the common rooms - you had been spending a lot of alone time with him lately - when Bucky and Sam traipsed in.

"Hey," you said in greeting, raising your hand. Your eyes followed Bucky closely, noticing that he had a fresh wound on the bridge of his nose. You gnawed on your lower lip in discomfort.

Not your place, you reminded yourself brusquely. Stop staring.

“You guys okay?” he asked as he walked over, clasping a hand on yours and Steve’s backs simultaneously. He was in good spirits despite his slightly battered features, a charming smile playing on his lips.

“All good,” Steve said. “We were just talking about the Albania mission.”

“Ah.” Bucky paused, cocking his head at you. “First mission just the two of us. You nervous?” His smirk made you roll your eyes. Your heart thumped erratically, betraying you.

“Nervous about what?”

“All that time spent together, don’t want you falling in love with me,” he joked. Your throat tightened, your smile stretching wider as you let out a sarcastic laugh.

“Ha ha ha. Very funny,” you said dryly. Too close to home.

You missed the look of discomfort in Steve’s eyes. He pursed his lips, shifting his position in the chair so his knees bumped slightly against yours.

“You sure you’re up for this?” Steve asked seriously, making you frown.

“What?”

“Your leg injury,” he reminded you.

“Is fully healed,” you stated firmly, though you knew he was only concerned for you. “Don’t worry about me.”

Easier said than done, Steve wanted to say, his eyes lingering on you for just a second too long. Not that you noticed. You were looking at Bucky, an expression on your face that he couldn’t decipher. It frustrated him, sometimes, being unable to know what you were thinking.

“I’ll brief you both tomorrow morning,” Steve grunted, his hand squeezing your shoulder. “8am. Don’t be late.”

Bucky and you were very close friends. The friendship had ironically bloomed the more you forced your true feelings for him down, locking them away and refusing to let them come out. You went on missions together a lot, and would be working together even more once you were dispatched on your mission in Albania. One that was supposed to last for at least a month as you gathered intel on the latest enemy base.

But, you had enough practice, and you were confident that you would be able to control everything, your heart included. You were certain.

Bucky and you trained together almost every day, having very similar fighting styles, even though Bucky was far stronger than you. He seemed to notice that your gait was off, scowling as he tapped your thigh.

"You told Steve you were fine," he said, unaware of the shocks he was sending through you at the unexpected touch.

"I am," you insisted. At his disbelieving look, you relented. "Okay, fine. My knee isn't quite the same. But I'm fine - I can still fight. Go on, attack me right now, do it." Your voice was aggressive as you motioned for Bucky to tackle you.

"Calm down, kitten," he said, raising his hands in the air. Kitten. That was a first. "I'm not doubting your ability to fight. But Steve might strangle me if something happens to you."

"You're not my babysitter," you scowled.

"Funny, that's exactly what I said to him."

You rolled your eyes, deciding to call it quits for the day. You both took a seat on the side of the training room before you asked lightly, "Where's Natasha these days?"

Bucky shrugged, turning his face away from you slightly. Silence.

"What's going on?" you frowned, tilting your head and elbowing his bicep.

Bucky raked his fingers through his short hair, ruffling it up before he sighed.

"Just...going through a bit of a rough patch," he admitted. "It's nothing serious." He looked down at the floor, still avoiding your eyes.

"Oh. Right." You were concerned at the way Bucky was now looking slightly deflated. "You want to talk about it?"

Bucky gave you a thin smile, shaking his head.

"It's alright. I just want to focus on this mission. I don't know, maybe the time away will help us clear our heads," he said, referring to himself and Natasha.

You wanted to know more, but decided not to pry. He would share in good time. Hearing the fact that he was having relationship trouble with his girlfriend shouldn't have teased out a tendril of hope in you, but it did, and you felt awful. The guilt must've been clear on your face, as Bucky cocked his head at you.

"What?"

"Uh, nothing," you lied, sipping your bottle of water. "Let's get some rest. Got an early start tomorrow."

Saying goodbye to the compound was easy - you went on missions all the time. However, living solo with Bucky was a whole new experience.

Being together in a tiny shoe box apartment led to some situations which you definitely did not foresee. Those situations tested the limits of your ability to pretend not to be insanely attracted to Bucky.

It didn't matter how much you tried.

One day, you had gone out to the local market to pick up some supplies. When you returned to the apartment, you had almost dropped the paper bag of fruit and vegetables when Bucky emerged from the bathroom, clad in only a towel around his waist. Your eyes had involuntarily zeroed in on his chest, tracing the path of the water droplets which ran down the valley of his abdomen, past his hips and teasing at something more.

You could remember every defined plane of his naked, muscular torso, the scars decorating his skin, his blue eyes widening in shock at the sight of you.

He had blushed violently, mumbled something about forgetting his clothes in his room, and practically bolted in there.

It didn't matter how much you tried.

One night, you had a particularly horrific nightmare which caused you to wake up in the middle of the night screaming. You woke with sweat covering your face, your hands clenching the sheets.

Bucky ran into your room, wrenching the door open with such force that the handle was crushed in his fist. He found you curled up in a whimpering ball on your bed. That night, he had held your hand and comforted you, sleeping next to you on top of the covers.

It didn't matter how much you tried.

The day you had finally entered the enemy base. You had made your way down the maze of corridors together, but found Bucky practically shoving you inside a tiny store cupboard which definitely should not be accommodating two people, his hand on your mouth to mask any sound as the two armed men marched unexpectedly down the hallway.

You could still remember the feeling of Bucky pressed up against you, his eyes flickering between yours as you tried to stay as still as possible. His scent overwhelmed your nose, made you want to close your eyes and bask in it.

He had been slightly off that same evening, going to bed early before resuming his normal behaviors the next day.

You didn't know if you were imagining it, but something seemed to be changing.

It didn't matter how much you tried. You were definitely still in love with him.

One evening, Bucky found you sitting upright on your bed, squeezing your knee with one hand, a grimace on your face. He was walking past your open doorway and did a double take, his hand curling around the door frame as he peered in.

“My knee,” you explained. “Injury seems to be flaring up.”

Bucky tsked and disappeared momentarily, before he returned with an ice pack. He sat down on the edge of your bed, his weight causing the mattress to dip. He reached out for your leg without a moments hesitation. You were only clad in a sleep shirt and shorts, but that didn’t seem to bother him as he lifted your limb onto his lap.

He applied the ice pack against your skin, making you withdraw your leg instinctively. He held his hand around your ankle, firmly holding it in place.

“Better?” he mumbled after a moment.

“Yeah. I think so,” you said quietly.

You looked up, and your eyes met. You turned your face to stare at the wall, suddenly unable to hold the eye contact. In your peripheral, you could see he was still looking at you intensely, the way Sam always made fun of him for.

“What are you staring at?” you asked, forcing a teasing lilt in your voice, his hand suddenly feeling incredibly warm against your skin.

“Nothing,” he said after a long moment. His fingers seemed to tighten around your ankle, so briefly and so quickly that you weren't sure if you had imagined it, before he let go of you.

One month. You had expected to be in Albania for one month, tops, but that turned into almost two. It was nearly mid-March, day after day spent holed in the tiny apartment with Bucky, papers and photos and electronic equipment lying everywhere.

"Remind me why I'm here again?" Bucky asked, a frown on his face as he sat down on the couch. "Intel gathering isn't even my specialty. I thought we would be able to get in on some action, but we've literally just been spying on these guys for weeks."

"We've got some very valuable information already," you reminded him, eyes scanning the mess of documents all around you. "Just a little longer, then we can go home."

Bucky groaned. It was way past midnight, and you heard him open a bottle of whisky and the glug glug glug of a glass being filled. Another clink, another glug glug glug. Two glasses.

"Come," he said loudly, patting the space next to him. "We both need a break."

You sighed, standing up and stretching your limbs.

"Fine. One drink."

You crashed down next to him as your phone buzzed in quick succession. Lifting your phone, you saw the notifications of texts from Steve. Bucky inadvertently saw his name flash on the screen.

“Something going on with you and Steve?” Bucky asked without missing a beat, arching an eyebrow expectantly.

“Something?”

“Yeah, you know. Something."

"I have no idea what you mean," you said coolly, knocking your glass against his before taking a sip of alcohol.

"Can't hide this shit from me," Bucky said, leaning back and slinging his arm across the back of the couch. "He's my best friend. I can tell."

"Tell what, exactly?" you asked.

Bucky took a slug of whiskey. It was like the alcohol was enabling this impromptu heart to heart.

"He seems different around you.” His expression was neutral, but there was something else there which you could quite identify.

“Different how?” You were genuinely confused by Bucky’s words.

He looked off into the distance, a mulling expression on his face.

“He looks at you like he wants to be your personal soldier. Your knight.”

You snorted, the sound fading when you realized Bucky was being serious, his face devoid of humor.

“What? What are you talking about?” you asked, perplexed.

“You’ve seriously never noticed?”

“Steve and I are just friends,” you said firmly.

"Uh-huh. Is that why he messages you every day? And I know not all of it is mission related."

"I don't know. I guess we're close?" you said, becoming flustered. You took another sip of whiskey. “Besides, I…” You trailed off uncertaintly.

Bucky pounced on your falter like a cat.

“What?” he shuffled in his seat, turning towards you with a childish grin.

You bit the inside of your cheek. Either the alcohol was getting to your head already, or you were just feeling particularly brazen.

“I’m kind of into someone else.”

He seemed to stiffen as he observed you silently. The alcohol was making you feel warm and slightly fuzzy as you looked into his steel eyes, marveled at how his pupils appeared to pool and dilate. You held your breath, imagining him asking - "who?"

You.

In that moment, you suddenly imagined telling him how you felt. What a relief it would be. Being just the two of you for so long, it made you imagine sometimes that it was really just the pair of you against the world.

You wished you could be selfish. Wish you could just reach out and take what you wanted, tell him how you yearned for him. The way his handsome face looked now in the dim lights was so unfair, so teasing.

The silence was getting too long. Bucky seemed to lean closer, his body closing the gap between you inch by inch. His head tilted ever so slightly, his gaze moving to your left eye, then your right, before flickering down to your lips.

You wanted to kiss him. His lips looked so soft, and you wanted to know how they felt, how he tasted. Nothing else seemed real in that moment except the two of you.

Bucky moved forward again, his hand sliding along the couch. He swallowed, his Adam’s apple shifting.

You looked at his mouth. His tongue darted out to wet his lips -

The shrill vibration of your phone sliced the air.

He cleared his throat loudly, leaning back and taking a swill of his drink. You blinked, turning away from him and scrabbling for your phone, trying to get the image of his lips out of your mind.

You thought Bucky would acknowledge that moment. You half-expected (and feared) that you would have a confrontational conversation about it. But, that confrontation never came, and you returned to New York after Steve deemed that you’d gained enough information for them to make a move, but wanted to reconvene as a team first.

Bucky didn't bring it up on the way back to New York. He didn't bring it up on the car journey back to the compound. He didn't bring it up when you both walked into the common rooms and he embraced his girlfriend.

He and Natasha seemed to have put any relationship troubles to rest upon your return to the compound, the time apart apparently reigniting a spark of passion. She had been waiting on the landing pad, and they kissed wordlessly the moment they got close enough, the sight making your chest tighten.

You continued playing the role of the regular friend, and never brought up that almost-kiss again.

You were stubborn, in many ways. If he wasn't going to bring it up, then you could pretend it never happened. You were a great actress.

You wondered if you’d simply imagined that moment after all.

You’d missed New York a lot. The second he saw you at the compound after returning from Albania, he'd given Bucky a silent nod before pulling you into a tight embrace that almost lifted you off your feet.

Huh. Maybe Bucky was onto something.

After that, you found yourself spending even more and more time with him. Steve was the perfect gentleman, in many ways. He reminded you of an angel, sometimes, especially when his golden hair glowed in sunlight, the corners of his eyes creasing when he smiled.

He had a cherubic beauty. He was different to Bucky - they were like day and night. Both stunning in their own way, a complete force of nature, but with Steve, you felt like your vision was clearer. There was no second guessing - it seemed that he really did have feelings for you which were more than just friendly.

Bucky watched you and Steve from the other side of the Quinjet as you spoke in low voices, ready to dive into the next assignment. Steve was piloting, you crouched down next to him, his head leaning close towards yours.

Natasha was sat silently a few seats away from Bucky. She got in these moods, sometimes, where she wasn't particularly upset at anything Bucky had done, persay, but just wanted to shut herself off from everything.

Bucky didn't mind. He was twirling a knife between his fingers as he watched you with his best friend, a foreign feeling settling inside his chest.

Was it jealousy? Not of Steve, no. It couldn't be. Maybe he was just jealous of the way you smiled at each other, completely care-free and easy. Not like things were with Natasha - he couldn't remember the last time that he had shared an innocent moment like that with his girlfriend.

When he'd first returned from Albania, things had seemed good with her. But sometimes it felt shallow - like everything was just superficial without real grit or weighting to their emotions.

He was beginning to question a lot of the things he shared with Natasha. It felt like recently, a lot of the positive aspects of their relationship had simply run their course. Now, the time they spent together was either in silence, in arguments, or in semi-rage fueled sex.

Seeing you smile at Steve made him suddenly wish for something purer. Simpler.

His eyes traced the angles of your nose, the slender slope of your neck as you gazed up, the corners of your lips as you smiled.

He closed his eyes. He would have to stop thinking about you too much.

When you were fighting, you couldn't focus on anything else besides getting rid of the threat and protecting your team mates.

A blade flew past your face, barely avoiding glancing your skin before it was swiftly caught by Bucky, who launched it into the neck of the tall, bulky man who had been advancing towards you. He had been swinging a bat wrapped in barbed wire, an ugly smile on his face.

"That's a very creative weapon," you grunted, wrenching the bat from the man's hold as he crumbled to the ground from Bucky’s attack. You swung it into the face of a snarling, blonde haired woman who was coming for Natasha.

The sounds of fighting echoed loudly in the empty warehouse, cries of pain and screams sounding every few seconds as you fought off the increasing number of enemies who appeared in every direction.

You and Natasha stood almost back to back as you both aimed guns with expert precision into the rafters above you, your eyes spotting hidden snipers and firing before they could get you.

In moments like these, amidst the chaos, anything could go awry. You heard rather than saw the clatter of a grenade, your eyes widening in shock the second you registered what it was. You opened your mouth to warn Natasha, feeling a large wall of muscle crash into you and roll you away before you could even speak.

You were practically thrown off your feet, back thudding onto the ground like a doll. The explosion sounded in the distance - you realized that Sam had managed to intercept and toss the grenade into the air in those six seconds before it detonated, taking out a section of the warehouse wall, dust and debris raining onto you.

"You alright?" Bucky asked huskily, pulling you onto your feet.

You didn't have time to respond before he was turning away and diving into the fight again, Steve suddenly appearing by your side and tilting your chin to look at him.

"All good?"

"All good," you said affirmatively, watching as he gave you a grim smile before he too rejoined the battle.

Bucky's heart was roaring in his chest as he threw himself at yet another nameless man, driving his fist into his face to incapacitate him. The sudden realization was almost painful that in the appearance of a grenade, his first instinct had been to run towards you.

You found yourself shopping with Natasha one afternoon. In the life of an Avenger, getting the chance to do these mundane, every day things was exceptionally fun.

You were picking out decorations for Steve's birthday party. He had insisted that he didn't want one, but the team had ignored him, obviously. When there was so much doom and gloom, it was nice to have an excuse to just be normal and celebrate something.

"So, you and Steve, huh?" Natasha said suddenly as you both walked down the grocery store aisles.

You groaned internally. In recent weeks, it seemed like everyone had suddenly decided something was going on between the two of you.

"Not you too, Nat," you said, pretending to glower at her.

"I'm just saying," she smirked. "His crush on you is getting pretty obvious. You have to see it, too"

You shrugged, biting down on your lip.

"I don't know. Maybe?"

When it came to discussing Steve, the thought of Bucky also inevitably flitted across your mind. Okay, admittedly, you also had a crush on Steve - how could you not?

But your feelings for Bucky always overshadowed it. However, you hadn't seen a lot of him lately, and the drastic decrease in interactions between the two of you coupled with the many what if scenarios planted into your head by others regarding yourself and Steve, was starting to make you think.

It made you consider him, for sure. Steve was a good man. Not that you wanted to use him to make you get over your feelings for Bucky, but maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea to explore that avenue and see where it took you.

"I think you should make a move," Natasha said. "Life is too short."

You pursed your lips, entertaining the idea. Maybe she was right.

Bucky would never be yours. He would never return your feelings, and it was time you accepted it.

You didn't have to make the first move, after all.

The party was a small, private affair, the rooms in the compound decked out in patriotic decorations, music playing and giving the team a chance to actually wind down.

Towards the end of the night, you ended up sitting at the bar with Steve, the others outside watching the fireworks that had been set off by Tony.

"Can I try something?" Steve asked quietly out of the blue, his clear eyes flitting between yours. He raised his hands hesitantly, waiting for you to give him the green-light. They ghosted around your face, aching to touch you.

You thought of a dark haired super soldier, how he unknowingly pained your heart. All the fantasies you had of him which would never materialize.

"You can kiss me, Steve," you whispered.

That was all the encouragement he needed as he leaned closer and slotted his lips against yours. It was an unfamiliar, but not an unpleasant, sensation.

It was a gentleman's kiss. Short but sweet. He pulled away, his hands having found their way in your hair, and he seemed breathless.

"Woah. Am I interrupting something?"

You both jumped apart, Sam walking in with raised eyebrows and a Cheshire Cat grin.

"Is everyone around here getting laid except me?" Sam chuckled.

Bucky walked in next, his observant gaze taking in the scene in front of him. He had heard Sam's comment, seen your slightly tousled hair, took in Steve's slightly sheepish expression.

He didn't say a word.

You and Steve began...could you call it dating? You didn't exactly go out on dates - you were both too busy doing Avenger shit.

But nowadays, you spent almost all your spare time with him. He would hold your hand and steal kisses in private, away from prying eyes. You found yourself cultivating a growing affection for him, beginning to truly look forward to seeing him every day.

It was conflicting, when the object of your most raw affections was still there.

You didn't know if you were a bad person. Was it terrible, that you were letting yourself get involved with Steve when your heart's deepest desires all revolved around Bucky?

You were never going to act upon them, you rationalized. And having residual love for Bucky didn't mean you didn’t deserve some happiness with another man, right?

You wondered just how residual your love was when Bucky still managed to make you feel defenceless and totally at his mercy.

Once it became clear that you and Steve were no longer just friends, it seemed to shift the dynamic between yourself and Bucky even more. You spent less and less time together, and it didn't help that his mood was always perpetually affected by his rocky relationship with Natasha.

You had found him storming through the compound one day after he had no doubt had an argument with her. You had seen the rage coming off him in waves and stopped him without hesitating, asking him if everything was okay.

"Mind your own business," he had said curtly, the rudeness in his voice making your mouth fall open.

"Excuse me?" you spluttered, genuinely taken aback at the venom in his tone.

"Was I not clear? I said - mind your own business," he said, glowering at you in a manner that made you flinch. He continued on his way without a second look back at you, the animosity bringing frustrated tears to your eyes.

He had never spoken to you that way before. His apology came in the form of a small box of chocolates the next day, but after that incident, you told yourself you would not ask about his love life again.

Bucky was drinking by himself when you found him in the middle of the night, listening to music playing from a vintage record player. How old school.

"You gonna join me for a drink?" he asked, but you shook your head with a smile.

"I'm okay. I couldn't sleep," you said to explain your sudden appearance.

Bucky imagined you sleeping in your bed next to Steve. Except Steve was away from the compound for the rest of the week, so he knew you were alone. Maybe that was why you were so restless, he thought bitterly.

How nice it must be to rest next to someone you really loved. Unbeknownst to you, he and Natasha had been sleeping separately for weeks.

He wanted what you and Steve had.

(Or maybe he just wanted you?)

The music playing was unfamiliar to you, and Bucky said it was one of his favorites from back in the day. He suddenly grabbed your hand, and you could tell he had been drinking for some time, the smell of alcohol heavy on his tongue.

"Dance with me?"

You didn't have time to say anything before he was swaying you back and forth without rhythm, making you laugh out loud at the hilarity of it.

"I thought you were supposed to be a good dancer?" you teased. You had been walking on eggshells around Bucky for the longest time, but in this moment, it felt like old days.

"I am," he murmured. He suddenly adjusted his stance, his hand moving to your back, the other grabbing yours as he began properly leading you into a dance. Your fingers were interlaced when he pulled you close, and you began moving in tandem in a spontaneous waltz.

The music was soothing, and his body was warm. You felt comfortable and safe with him, feeling all the tension leave you.

He looked so unbearably handsome. You realized that you were staring at each other, unblinking.

This was strange. And yet you couldn't drag your gaze away from him as he tilted his head forward, resting his forehead on yours. Your breath hitched. His eyes closed with a flutter.

"I'm tired," he said quietly. "Let's just stay like this for a while."

Tony threw a small party - well, small by his standards. In his own words, everyone needed a night to "chill out and drink a lot of booze". You were chatting with Sam when you noticed Natasha and Bucky arrive at the party. Separately, pointedly avoiding each other.

Sam followed your inquisitive gaze and sucked in a breath.

“Trouble in paradise,” he said. It wasn’t a question - more like a statement, as if he was privy to something you didn’t know.

“Hm?”

Sam took a sip of his drink.

“Never mind. Don’t want no vibranium arm up my ass for running my mouth.”

“Now that would be some party trick,” you said, though you were now furtively watching Natasha and Bucky from over the rim of your drink.

They were definitely avoiding each other. They could not be stood farther apart, on opposite sides of the room. Bucky’s face looked slightly sullen whereas Natasha looked composed and cool.

Steve wrapped an arm around you, placing a kiss on the top of your head. Things had started off quite slow and light at first, but you were increasingly conscious of the fact that things seemed to be getting more intense between the two of you. He hadn't quite asked you to be his girlfriend, but you were starting to wonder if there was a silent understanding that you were.

You weren't good at this relationship stuff. And, frustratingly, you found yourself wondering more about the state of Bucky and Natasha's relationship than yours.

Your worries multiplied when he got so drunk by the end of the night that you offered to accompany him back to his room, Bucky's arm slung around your shoulders as you tried to support his weight.

"I know you can walk, Buck," you grunted as you made your way towards his bedroom. “Use your legs. You’re killing me here.”

He sighed loudly, patting your back. He seemed to sober up when you both stopped outside his room, and you stared him down with a serious look on your face.

"Are you okay? No bullshit.”

His eyes were glazed over when he looked at you. He had always found you to be beautiful. No wonder Steve fell for you, he thought.

"We broke up," he said quietly.

His words weren’t entirely a shock to you.

"Are you okay?" you asked gently.

Your voice was so kind. When he looked at you now, he really felt like he had somehow missed a chance to discover something great. You had been there all along. Why didn’t he see it?

Maybe he always knew. Even back in Albania, there had been a moment where he thought he would kiss you. The memory scared him. He hadn’t quite realized there was something in his heart that was more than just friendly until that night.

“No,” he said, but not for the reasons you thought. He hesitated. “Will you stay with me?”

Your breath caught in your throat.

Stupid, Bucky scolded himself. He knew how you would interpret that - and somehow you wouldn't be wrong. God, no - what was he thinking? This wasn't him.

“Never mind. Sorry. That was dumb,” he said hoarsely. Guilt wracked his body - for you, for Steve. His best friend. “Goodnight.”

You didn't say anything for a second, but finally the words found their way out.

"Goodnight. I'll be here if you want to talk," you said as he pushed open his door.

Bucky surveyed you with a look that may have contained disappointment. You weren't sure, and you suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to stay, and yet you forced yourself to take a step back, away from him.

The door closed with a click.

The universe was playing a sick joke.

When Bucky first met Natasha, he thought he had found his life-partner. As time went on, he realized that it just wasn't meant to be.

Had he always loved you? No, maybe not at first. He had considered you almost like a little sister in the beginning, someone to take care of, someone to joke with, someone he cared a lot about.

Maybe he always told himself the love that brewed was just like the love one had for their family.

It was confusing and he was laden with guilt, the first time he found himself wondering what it would feel like to kiss you. He was still with Natasha, and he felt so awful when those thoughts breached his mind. Like he was betraying her.

When you got together with Steve, it was almost a relief. He thought that seeing you with his best friend would dampen down any flame that existed within him, any longing that he had for you.

He was wrong. Seeing you so happy with Steve made him jealous, but it wasn't because he wanted that happiness for himself and Natasha. No - it was because he just wanted you.

God, how he hated himself. Steve was his best friend, his most loyal friend, and he was lusting after you. The disappointment and hatred for himself manifested into a coldness towards you, eventually.

He found that the only way he would be able to get through this was to keep you at arms length. There was no way he was going to be able to see the relationship between you and Steve blossom without doing something he would regret.

He hated himself for the way he was treating you. He knew you could sense it, too, his hostility towards you reaching a crescendo one autumn afternoon when he found himself shouting at you aboard the empty Quinjet after the rest of the team had disembarked.

"You could have gotten the team injured," Bucky spat through gritted teeth as you stared at him in bewilderment.

"Are you kidding me? I knew what I was doing."

"Did you? Steve had to come and save -"

"He didn't have to save me," you sniped back, pre empting his words. "I had it under control."

"You were a liability," Bucky snarled. The moment he said it, he wanted to take it back, but he just couldn't. He was pissed off - not at anything you did, but at the way his heart was pounding uncontrollably at the mere sight of you. How did you render him so weak?

Your mouth opened and closed silently, and Bucky could identify the exact moment your eyes stung with tears, but he chose to say nothing. He stood to the spot like a cowardly statue as you stood stiffly and stalked off the jet.

Bucky was fighting a losing battle to keep his emotions at bay. With feelings so intense, he knew they couldn't be contained in a vessel. They were bound to explode.

There was a storm that night.

Bucky had sustained a deep knife wound to the side of his chest whilst out on the field. You walked into the medical bay as he was being bandaged up, startled by dark expression on his face. He was in a foul mood, you could tell.

"Is he going to be okay?" you asked.

He had been stabbed because of you. He had been hurt because he had pulled you out of the way of a rogue S.H.I.E.L.D agent just an hour ago, and your lip was bleeding from how you’d been chewing anxiously on it as Bucky was tended to.

"M'fine," he responded before the doctor could, pulling on his blood stained shirt and leather jacket.

"Actually, Sergeant Barnes, you need to - "

He stalked out of the medical bay, past you with such fury that you stared after him in shock before following him.

"What's gotten into you?" you asked.

"Nothing," he said curtly. He was marching so fast that you were struggling to keep up. He walked through the compound, right out of a set of doors and into the field outside, the rain pelting his face. It was ice cold and exactly what he wanted to make him feel nothing, to feel numb.

You were feeling sick of his attitude. For weeks, he had been acting awful to you. Blunt, brushing off your attempts at conversation, avoiding you. The rare times you did get him to speak to you, he was rude and brusque.

It hurt your feelings more than you’d care to admit, but now you were just angry at how he was acting like a petulant child.

"Come back inside!" you shouted over the rain. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Go back inside," he said, the frustration in his voice clear.

It riled you up even more, and you felt instantly indignant as his barking command.

"No, not until you tell me what's going on!"

Bucky continued walking, ignoring you.

“James Buchanan Barnes, you stop right now!” you shouted, your fury evident. That made him stop in his tracks, his back still facing you. Your annoyance finally tipped you over the edge. “You’re acting like an immature bastard! You’ve been an ass to me for weeks - do you want to fucking explain why?”

Bucky whirled around then, cursing and stalking up towards you. He lifted his hands like he wanted to grab you, but he stopped himself from touching you. The expression on his face startled you out of the red mist that clouded your brain - it was a combination of rage and sadness.

"Why are you here?" he exclaimed, looking tortured.

"Why am I here?" you repeated, incredulous. "What are you - "

"You're always here," he spat through clenched jaws. "Always distracting me, always making me think of you. Why?"

Confusion marred your face. He continued, "I hate looking at you and knowing that I can't have you."

"What's going on?" you spluttered. "Are you mad that I got you stabbed?"

"No!" he shouted. "I'm mad that I love you when I want to feel nothing for you."

His words made you seize up, and your lips parted in shock. He was raging now, his whole body shaking as he stared at you.

"Did you have feelings for me?" he pressed, his voice desperate and urgent. "Did you?"

"I - "

"Don't lie," he warned, his face pained.

"Yes," you gasped finally. "I did."

He nodded as if he knew all along.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, his tone accusatory.

"How could I tell you?" you retorted. "Why would I tell you?" You had no idea what he wanted from you, or where this was all coming from. It was so unexpected, to be having this conversation out here with him, today, but he seemed to want to wrangle the truth out of you.

"If you had told me, maybe - maybe I wouldn't be feeling this way." His voice broke, and your heart strained at the seams, guilt filling your chest.

The rain was getting heavier now, pelting the two of you. Your clothes felt so heavy on your skin, acid rising in your throat at Bucky's words. They infuriated you.

“Maybe things would’ve been different!” You were almost screaming over the sound of the rain and thunder. Your hair was sticking to your face, blinding you. “Maybe - maybe if you hadn’t been with Natasha in the first place. Maybe if we didn’t end up in Albania together. Maybe if Steve didn’t tell me his feelings for me.”

“Did you love me?” He was almost screaming too, his voice filled with frustration.

“I won’t answer that,” you said resolutely. “It doesn’t matter. You have no idea how I’ve been feeling, Bucky.” You wanted to grip the collar of his jacket, shake some sense into him. “I’ve felt like I’ve been in the shadows for so long, pining for you. Sitting on the bench, waiting for you to pick me.”

“I was with someone else -”

“And that’s fine!” you exclaimed honestly. “That’s fine, Bucky. I never wanted to break you up. But I just think - if it’s meant to be, I wouldn’t have had to wait for so long. No one wants to feel like the second choice.”

“It was never like that. You know that.”

“I know,” you said weakly. “I know all these things, and I know it’s just a way of life, relationships come and go and your relationship with Natasha doesn’t dilute the feelings you have for me now.” The words fell out in a rush, almost nonsensical. “But it was always so hard, Bucky. Feeling all this love for you and getting nothing in return. With Steve, it’s different. It’s easy.”

“So you gonna take the easy way out?” he snarled.

"Nothing about this has been easy!" you said angrily. "You have no right to take a knife for me, scream at me then tell me that you love me!"

The rain was rolling off his skin, his eyelashes thick as he narrowed his eyes at you. He wanted to kiss you so badly, to dismiss everything and ignore every possible consequence and just kiss you.

Instead, he took in the helplessness in your expression. Reminded himself of who his best friend was.

“Do you love him?” he asked softly. It wasn’t a rhetorical question - he genuinely needed to know, to hear the truth from your lips. It was conflicting - Steve was his brother, but at the same time, he was the man who had your heart whilst Bucky ached to capture it in his fingers, too. Every cell in his body told him he needed to be valiant and fight for you. But he knew that fighting for you wouldn’t be brave, it wouldn’t be courageous - it would only cause pain to those he loved.

“Yes,” you answered truthfully.

“Do you still love me?”

The question alarmed you. Bucky had always trod the boundary between you carefully, particularly since you and Steve had become a couple. You thought he would never do anything to disrespect that. You knew that if he had to ask, then he truly was a desperate man.

How could you ever tell him how you felt? How could you tell Bucky that sometimes, when you were with Steve, you thought about him? That the guilt was eating away at you, keeping you up at night? How could you describe how sick it made you feel when you looked into Steve’s eyes and felt a sweet affection for him, but which was just a fraction of the burning love you held for Bucky?

“That’s unfair,” you said, voice quivering. “You can’t ask that. Steve is your best friend.”

“And you’re my…” His voice began as a forceful protest before trailing off.

“Your what, Bucky?” you asked incredulously, eyes widening. “How does that sentence end?”

Bucky winced.

“I’m not your friend,” you said carefully. At this point, after all those questionable moments shared throughout the year, you were no longer just a friend, not really. “I’m not your lover. And this is why we can’t be having this conversation.”

“You’re my person,” Bucky said, his voice cracking. “I would never take you from Steve. I know that. But I just have to let you know.” Tears were gathering in his eyes, making your chest hurt.

You smiled a watery smile.

"I know."

You were two ships that passed in the night. Two people who could have had a beautiful story, but neither of you had time to open that chapter. The timing was never quite right, after all.

"I love you," he said finally. He seemed to sag as the words left his body, like they were a weight he had been carrying for a long time.

Those three words were ones which you had wanted to hear from him for so long. But now, hearing them hang in the air, they only made your pain worsen.

"It'll pass," you said finally. "One day, you will find someone that is the right person, right time."

You never thought you would find yourself in this position. That the man you loved so dearly would tell you he felt the same, and you would have to do everything in your power to stop yourself from running into his embrace.

You had to do the responsible thing. You couldn't hurt Steve.

“What do we do now?” Bucky asked. He needed your guidance. He felt like every fiber in his body was burning.

You were silent for the longest time. You realized you were holding your breath, because you were afraid that you would spontaneously burst into tears if you moved a single muscle.

“You and I...will not mention this again. We won’t think about what could have been, because we can’t.” Your voice broke on the final word despite your attempts to compose yourself.

Did you love Steve? The answer was yes. You did love him, honestly.

Did you love Bucky?

With your entire existence.

You didn't know if you could genuinely love two people at once. And, deep down, you knew that your feelings for Bucky would forever be ingrained in your heart - it was burned into you. But Steve was the one who stood by your side, who picked you without hesitation - you could not and would not hurt him. He was too good to you to deserve that.

Even if it meant letting go of the love that never was.

Bucky nodded once. He looked at your beautiful face, at the devastation in your eyes, but also the determination in your stance.

“Okay,” he said, a half-smile on his face. “I'm sorry."

For you, he would try. For Steve, he would try. If he had to make peace with the fact that he had lost out on something beautiful, he would try. Because he knew it was unfair - he had been late to the game, ignored the niggling feeling in his mind that you perhaps felt something special for him, told himself that you just viewed him as a friend.

For you, he would try not to love you anymore.

Destined to meet, but not destined to be together. Sometimes, people are meant to stay in your heart, but not in your life.

A/N: I don't expect many people to like this fic, but I wanted to write this one just for me, I guess? I have been in a very angsty mood recently and wanted to write a fic about love that doesn't have a happy ending, to reflect the reality that sometimes, you can love someone with your whole soul, but it just doesn't work out. I don't know if reader or Bucky made the 'correct' decisions here - that interpretation is up to you.

[stellarsecrets86]

"A Breath Too Cold, a Room Too Still, The Echo Knows. It Haunts at Will"

(Questions I wanna ask to these placements.)

Grab your Valentine's astro readings. Here

🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀

🥀 Water Rising with 8th House Stellium or 8th House Sun/Moon – Why do people feel so exposed around you, as if you can see the parts of them they want to keep hidden?

🥀 Pluto in the 1st House – Do you get feared or obsess over, possibly both? Why do other people's reactions feel so damned intense?

🥀 Scorpio Mercury Conjunct Pluto: Don't you sometimes feel that your words seem to strike others like some kind of psychic dagger, when you really have no intention to hurt?

🥀 Mars in the 12th House – Why do people push your limits, assuming you're passive—only to regret it when you finally snap?

🥀 Capricorn Moon with Hard Aspects – Why do people expect you to be their rock but resent you when you don't show emotion the way they want?

🥀 Saturn in the 7th House – Why do people suddenly take you seriously after you've already walked away?

🥀 Venus in the 8th House - Why do people fall so deeply for you, but then act like they’re drowning?

🥀 Chiron in the 1st House - Why do people act as though you're some kind of villain when all you did was exist in proximity to their wound?

🥀 Uranus in the 4th House-Is it a wonder you are craving stability when your whole upbringing has been a storm?

🥀 Neptune in the 6th House – How do you bear the permanent blur between work, dreams, and fatigue?

🥀 Sun Square Pluto – Why do people feel the need to prove something to you by your very presence?

🥀 Leo Mars in the 8th House – Are you aware that people try to impress you, yet somehow it's never enough?

🥀 Pisces Venus in the 12th House – Why do you fall in love with souls instead of people, and why does it hurt?

🥀 Mars in Scorpio – Why do people beg for your passion, only to run when they get it?

🥀 Moon Opposite Pluto – How does it feel, knowing your emotions make people confront things they aren't ready to face?

🥀 South Node in the 7th House – Why does every relationship feel like déjà vu—like you've been here before, and it never ends well?

🥀 Lilith in the 10th House – Why does society fear powerful women, yet can't stop watching them?

🥀 Mercury in the 8th House – How do you always know what people are thinking, even before they do?

🥀 Saturn Conjunct Moon – Is it exhaustion or just the weight of being responsible for your own emotions since birth?

🥀 Aries Venus in the 8th House – Why do you love like a wildfire, intense, consuming, and impossible to control?

🥀 Venus Opposite Pluto – Why does love feel like war, and why can't you resist the battlefield?

🥀 Neptune in the 7th House – How do you always fall for someone's dream, not their reality?

🥀 Sagittarius Mars in the 12th House – Why do you fight the hardest battles where nobody can see?

🥀 Aquarius Moon with Hard Aspects – Why do people say you are emotionally detached when you feel everything, just differently?

🥀 Jupiter in the 8th House – Why does transformation stalk you like your shadow, and blesses, yet curses you with its presence?

🥀 Pluto in the 5th House – Why is your creativity born from the ashes of your pain?

🥀 Saturn in the 1st House – Have you ever felt you were old from childhood, a child forced into growing up?

🥀 Moon in the 12th House – Why do your emotions feel like a dream—real but impossible to hold onto?

🥀 Pluto in the 3rd House – Why do people hang onto your words, even when you weren't trying to be profound?

🥀 Mars Conjunct Pluto – Have you noticed how people either try to control you or fear you controlling them?

🥀 Sun Square Saturn – Why do people assume you’re confident, but inside, you’re always questioning if you’re good enough?

🥀 Venus in Scorpio – Why does love feel like a haunting—beautiful, intense, and impossible to escape?

🐝✨

(PS: These are my own interpretations. For entertainment purposes only. Have fun!💚)

[tarotenchantress]

Astro observations pt.III 🐼LONER EDITION🐼

DO NOT PLAGIARISE MY WORK

All my observations are based on *personal* experiences

By- tarotenchantress🧚🏻‍♀️

I decided to make this post cause i too dont have alot of friends and decided to astro analyse

Here are some placements that indicate not having alot of friends, having a tough time making friends, feeling left out or sticking out in groups, not being able to stay in groups in general.

🐼saturn in 11th house, 10th house, 7th house, 1st house, 5th house, 6th house 3rd house, making aspects with personal planets like sun moon venus or with ascendant or mc, saturn in libra, aquarius, capricorn, cancer, gemini, scorpio, saturn in degree of 7°, 19°, 11°, 23°, saturn retrograde.

[Saturn restricts and creates a lack in the area it occupies. It also tends to create a harsher environment which may mean that you may sometimes feel as jf the peoplw around you dont show much care or concern towards you in comparison to others. You may also constantly feel as if you have to work harder to win them over or to be recognised.]

🐼neptune in 4th house, 3rd house, 1st house, making aspects with ascendant, sun, mc, in the houses 6th house 10th house, 5th house, 11th house, in the signs of libra, aquarius, gemini, capricorn in degrees of 7°, 19°,23°,11° degree

[ neptune tends to create haze in whatever area it occupies which means that even though you may undertsand others on a deeper level, you may feel like others dont, or you may feel as if others tend to forget about you or dont feel recognised enough, on occasions people may not even notice you or know you enough. People may also project on you alot and if you dont live upto their expectations they may reject you or you may try very hard trying to mold yourself into whatever they want. You may also feel a bit hesitant to stand up for youself]

🐼 uranus in 6th house, 5th house, 11th house, 1st house, 10th house, making aspects to these houses, in the signs of aqua, cap, libra, sag, scorp, in the degrees of 7°,11°,23°,19°,aspects with mc or personal planets.

[ uranus is by nature erratic and tends to create a bit of instability in whatever house it occupies. You may have friends one day and the next day they are gone. Like?? Poof.]

🐼 mars in 1st, 7th, 11th, 10th, 3rd, 6th house, making aspects with these houses, in the sign of aries, leo, scorp, cap, aqua, libra, in the degrees of 11°,19°,7°,23°

[Whatever house mars occupies or touches tends to creste a sense of hostility and competition, it may mean that people may be a bit hostile towards you or may view you as hostile or competitive or make you their competition, people with these placements may experience others putting you down in front of others or may experience that friends turned into enemies trope also jealousy is a common theme.]

🐼pluto in 6th house, 5th house, 11th house, 1st house, 10th house, making aspects to these houses, in the signs of aqua, cap, libra, sag, scorp, in the degrees of 7°,11°,23°,19°,aspects with mc or personal planets.

[Whatever house pluto touches or occupies creates an intense relation no matter what. You may feel as if people view you in a sexual manner, people may initially avoid you or stare at you as if theyre sensing you energetically, you may also experience people approaching you with manipulative sentiments or intentions, alsoo you may experience it that when you reject someone as friends or partner, the rejected party may start spreading rumours about you or become obsessed with trying to put you down or humble you and this may be a secret intention. People you dont know or notice know you and notice you. I have it in my 3rd house which also governs neighbourhod/neighbours and it squares my venus in 6th house and istg people idk know me and observe me but i keep my guards up. The people you befriend may also be jealous of you or become possessive over you and brooo.... its not a good thing so dont romanticise it like a pillowfucker♡]

🐼lilith in 6th house, 5th house, 11th house, 1st house, 10th house, making aspects to these houses, in the signs of aqua, cap, libra, sag, scorp, in the degrees of 7°,11°,23°,19°,aspects with mc or personal planets.

[Creates a similar theme to pluto but here you'll be shamed even more]

🐼 12th house personal placements

🐼sun and moon, mercury in 4th, 8th house.

🐼 4th, 12th, 8th hluse stellium

🐼mercury in aquarius or capricorn or pisces or scorpio

[May make you more private with your thoughts and you may feel as if others dont understand your ideas or you dont have anyone to talk too. It may also create trust issues.

[harmoonix]

Venus Observations II

where your heart lies?

Channeling song:

A partner having Venus - Pluto aspects can be one of the hottest things in a relationship, both synastry and natal. This is the epitome of soul craving love. There is something more than just love, which is a connection of pure desires

Lowkey Pluto - Venus aspects attract the most toxic partners for a reason, too. They can look like they can be manipulated, but they're actually not

A Virgo Venus always pays attention to everything about their partners/people they like. Every change brings a new feeling

Venus in Scorpio has a hidden sexual part of themselves. When you get to know them better, you'll end up like 'I didn't know you're like that' but in a good way

Venus in Pisces/12th houses have a hard time to realize that they're actually in love. Sometimes, they might feel like the love is not real or that they can not be loved, which is sad because they are amazing people

Something i like about cancer venus is that they always try to find warm-hearted people, fragile in a way, they want to protect but to also feel protected. They have the gift to create beautiful families and a household name

Venus in the 3rd/5th boost their relationships with all the sort of creativity. They´re the brain of that relationship. You are a piece of art in the eyes of your lover

Venus in Gemini can often match with their partners, and i´ve seen this happening a lot with air venuses, i like the idea of matching with your partner, too. You´d might also have a beautiful body language with them too

2, 14, 26 degrees on venus can make the native to like the small gestures of their partners, i feel these people like random kisses and holding hands 24/7

8, 20 degrees on venus might be a full drive for these natives. Kinda of mysterious love and full of surprises, i would say you can depend on your partner a lot sexually with these degrees

11, 23 degrees on venus can make a good first impression, you might have a influencer type of attraction even if youre not an influencer, and people really like the energy you bring with yourself

5, 17, 29 degrees on venus can attract the type of "eyes only for me" lover, you´d like to recieve your most attention from your partner, is not just attention but you also crave to have them 24/7 around you

I just discovered that Lana del rey has a TAURUS VENUS?? THAT makes so much sense. Oh my. Her vibes are immaculate, and her earthy vibes 100/10 +. Her deep voice because of the taurus effect is so true

Having a fire venus by side your side and a bloody vampire by the other is the same thing, both passionate souls, driven by power and sexual energy, they might like to chase after their lovers

Aries Venus or 1, 13, 25 degrees on your venus can make your beauty as a whole to appear very prominent. This is Rihanna energy so "shine bright like a diamond". Respectfully do it. Main character vibes

I love the combo of a aries venus x capricorn venus, one of my favorite venus combos, both signs are so powerful in a relationship resulting in a power couple. I love it

Venus in 2h/9H/10H/11h = gaining attention without really wanting that, the eyes still gonna be on you, and the truth is that you can't hide yourself from the world. Venus in these houses can be recognized for specific things tho

Venus in Aquarius/11h = queen of the dancefloor energy, venus here is known for dressing so good and being outwordly in other words, a beautiful soul, you can possess such a good humanitarian soul

Venus at 3, 15, 27 degrees has a good eye for decorating, they´d may be these type of people with really beautiful rooms and they´d also be the type to decorate the full house for christmas

Venus at 1° can indicate being quite attractive. It gives a power to when it comes to the manifestation about your beauty. You can manifest your beauty

Venus in Leo or Capricorn like to have power over their beauty/looks. These Venus signs are also known to be dominant ones (assert dominance)

The weeknd has a Capricorn Venus, and he has a lotttt of love songs some of them getting sexual, he has issues with his relationships tho with a stellium in the 7th house

Kate Winslet has a Virgo Venus, and Leonardo DiCaprio has a Scorpio Venus. Everything makes sense now. A lovely combo for a lovely movie

I write so much of Pisces Venus because I simply love the placement, but in real life, it doesn't even match with my Venus sign 💀 synastry would be toxic af because these Venus signs won't be matching but I still love it

When it comes to having Jupiter - Venus aspects, the native might radiate kindness, peace, beauty, hypnotic love type, spiritual love

Venus aspecting Ascendant natives definitely are in our list, these people usually have soft features on their face (unless the asc is aspecting other planets too), big eyelashes, lips eyes, can look more soft/feminine for both genders. + Their bodies can be beautiful like a piece of art

Venus aspecting the south node makes it hard for the native to let a relationship go. You're hurt. You're done, but you still don't want to move from it. You get attached, and that can become super unhealthy

I feel like 6° or 18° degrees on Venus makes the native to have a beautiful mind/mindset, and the way they think and put their words out might charm people

Venus in the 12th house can have a small circle of people around them, small but precious. They don't want to be around fake friends or to make enemies

Lilith - Venus aspects can often create a sort of 'searching for troubles in a relationship'. This can happen when there are harsh aspects. You kinda like it when it is toxic or when they get jealous

Venus at 0° can indicate a journey of learning how to love yourself. How to find the love for other people and, of course, to experience relationships with other people

Libra Venus often might have secret admires around them. They might be close people or people who barely know you. With this Venus sign, relationships can come so easily in your life

Is self explanatory that a Venus in the 7th house can really have that type of relationship everyone wants. It can manifest in different ways like a partner, traits of them, treatment, and many more

Venus at 7° or 19° degrees can be superrrrrr lustful. Idk if it is something their body wants or something they really crave, but I everyone I met with those degrees on their Venus was lusty af. Sinful love type

Venus transit in your 10th or 11th hosue can make the native to have random crushes on celebrities. Like out of nowhere.

Venus transit your 1st house can make you have a glowup after a bad/downfall period of your time/life. Usually comes for the best

Your relationships can change every time you have your Venus return. You can find yourself focusing on relationships, either being depressed about it

10° degrees on Venus has high chances to attract serious partners. As in life but also a lifestyle of a serious native while at 22° they can appear as having more experience or to be more wise than you

There is always an age gap for those who have wither Venus- Uranus aspects or Venus - Saturn aspects. Age gaps are not always a problem unless one of the partners is too young for the other one

If you'd like more observations about the planet Venus, here is part 1 🤩. Thank you so much for being here ❤️❤️❤️

[hwnglx]

pick a pile - what does your fs love about you?

hi dear reader! let's see what your future romantic partner loves about you. pls remember that this is a general reading so not everything will apply to everyone! breathe slowly, take your time and use your intuition to go with the pile that speaks to you the most. take what resonates, and leave what doesn't. 𓆩♡𓆪

➳❥ pile 1

your fs loves the way you balance these two sides within you; the fun-loving and joyful side, and responsible and reliable side. i feel strong sagittarius or aquarius energy in terms of your ability to detach from others and just live in your own world, according to your own terms, but also carrying a sense of responsibility within you, especially concerning your work or finances. it's very much giving “yes i work my ass off, not for anyone else, but for my own satisfaction” there might be some earth influence giving you this sense of groundedness when it comes to the things you deem as important for your own life. you just know what you want for yourself.

your fs will definitely love the way you can switch into focus and work-mode when you need to. they themselves might be a bit of a work-horse, someone who can often bury themselves in work. they feel like you're such an interesting person though, and might wonder how you manage to be so multi-facetted, because i do believe you're good at keeping your work-life balance in check, probably better than them.

i feel like they might have a more conservative approach or more traditional belief-system in place, that you have the potential to make them question. you seem to be someone with more of a progressive mindset in life, and your fs is likely to feel quite intrigued by that.

one major thing that keeps coming through for me, is how they love the thought of being the one who can break down your potential walls. although you can have your outgoing moments, some people might think they're closer to you than they actually are. you give off such an independent vibe, you're just not someone who's overly concerned over being romantically involved or surrounded by people all the time, and might moreso enjoy having your own freedom.

i feel like this person is someone who's gonna be very consistent in their efforts to get to you, because they're aware of what a special and unique person you are. they just feel like they wouldn't be able to find anyone like you again, so they're absolutely willing to chase you if it means receiving your approval and your love as a reward in the end.

you just give me this vibe of someone who enjoys letting someone chase you for a little; you just need to feel someone's sincerity and genuine interest, and might feel like patience and consistency is a way for them to prove it.

your fs might've thought about marrying you very early on, they might've fantasised about it quite quickly after meeting you. you either might be oblivious to this, as they're giving strong “friends” vibes here, or you're yet to meet them; i do believe it's likely for you to meet them through your friends or acquaintances though, maybe even during a party. i think you might not see this connection as romantic at all for a good while, while again, this person could already be thinking about you as marriage material. some of you might even meet this person either online, or overseas. they might be a foreigner. there's a clear difference in views, culture, belief systems.

a cute aspect; some of you might communicate in a unique manner first. even if you do not speak each other's languages, somehow there'll still be this natural and effortless understanding between the both of you. your differences are more likely to attract each other, rather than repulse you.

your fs will love how you aren't afraid to stand up for what you believe in, and how you're the type to defend your stance till the very end. you might even be quite stubborn in some areas you feel strongly about; however, i can feel your fs genuinely liking that about you. you're just not someone who'll be all available and open to everyone out there, and you have your very own strong values and principles in life that you've built over time, and would not back down from for anyone. your fs might've seen you in that defensive and argumentative mode a few times, maybe even experienced it first hand, but it made their attraction for you so much stronger. almost all cliché-like, confirming for them that “this is the person i want to be with.” there's this strong sense of them fantasizing, and feeling like it'd be an actual accomplishment to be with you in the end.

i do feel like you're likely to have the upper hand in this relationship. i don't think your fs is someone overly submissive character-wise, but it's almost like you bring that side out of them naturally. they're willing to cater to you, sincerely wanting to listen to your opinions on things and moreso follow your word, just because they're so infatuated.

it's also likely for them to for example, go on trips with you, although they usually aren't someone who likes travelling; but you manage to bring out a different side in them and expose them to things they're not too familiar with, and vice versa!

i feel like some of your fs' might be younger than you, or just in general more of an emotionally immature type (they might have strong aries or pisces placements, there's some delusional and childlike energy here) and your maturity has potential to draw them to you in a major way.

they just admire how, even though you can definitely have your moments of “oh you will not let me shut up about this!” in the end you don't let things actually get to you that much, and have built thick and immune skin after going through your fair share of challenges and obstacles in life.

i do believe that this relationship has the potential to bring out your more dreamy and youthful side out as well; this might be a factor in which you two balance each other beautifully. like they allow you to look at things in a more idealized manner, help you not to always take things too seriously, whereas you might bring them down to the ground a little more when needed and give them a reality check.

oh let me tell you pile 1, your fs will be so genuinely in love with you, and i can see their infatuation lasting for a good while. they'll feel butterflies at every sight of you, and feel like the world is beautiful again because they get to be with you.

potential messages from your fs for you

“i'm sorry i put my career before you. i'm willing to put in the time & effort now because i don't want to lose you.”

“i'm used to getting my way, but you put me in my place.”

“it was easier to lie than to tell you the truth. i wish i could take it all back.”

➳❥ pile 2

this pile gives me the strongest introvert vibes. i feel like you're also the pile, who's the hardest on yourself. the immediate message i got, which is incredibly sweet, is that your fs will love everything that you don't like about yourself. i heard one direction's “you don't know you're beautiful, and that's what makes you beautiful” in my head. you guys seem to be people who can prefer to just stay in your own little bubble, and live in your mind moreso than the outside world; your fs will take notice of that. i'm getting a lot of “i wonder what they're truly like..” there's this strong feeling of wanting to know you on a deeper level.

i get the feeling this pile is actually genuinely radiant in many eays, and has this strong presence and aura to them, which others take note of, but you yourself might still be unaware of and oblivious to. i don't think you've fully tapped into your potential and confidence just yet. you might even have some suitors who aren't outspoken about how they feel towards you, just because you can give off a more unapproachable vibe. your fs is quite likely to be included here.

they admire the way you're so adamant on just focusing on what needs to get done, concentrating on self-improvement and always striving to be the best version of yourself. they love how you're so perfectionistic, never really feeling fully satisfied, and continuously striving to reach higher levels.

also random, but i feel like some of you guys might have gorgeous and beautifully lucious hair, and some of your fs' might agree with me on that. i keep getting this feeling that they're just admiring you and gushing about you without you even knowing.

i have to say though, you two have the potential to have extremely interesting and deep conversations. i feel like you're the type of person who doesn't really enjoy speaking up a lot, i'm definitely sensing some trust issues, but once you actually get asked or approached by someone you feel like you can trust, you might have the tendency to overshare or trauma dump. i can just see your fs loving to listen to what you have to say, and although it's likely to be majorly consisting of very sincere stories, they'd even be ready to listen to you talk about.. actual nonsense, all day long. they just love seeing you light up and talk from your heart's content.

your fs will love how you aren't shy to be open about the things you've been through once you actually feel comfortable talking about them with someone. it's just part of who you are. like they'll just feel so eager to truly understand you as a person. not just your present, but especially your past and your history; how you came to be the way you are, your past struggles that had a profound impact on you.

life was hard on you, pile 2.. some of you might've had a childhood where you had to grow up faster than others, perhaps you were in a very competitive space or environment early on, or had to face a lot of external influences that threatened you in a way. others might've dealt with a lot of academic pressures, and had to prove themselves very early in life, so much so that you don't know much outside of doing your 200% best all the time. perhaps you grew up with a lot of siblings and had to be the mature one out of them, or your parents were incredibly strict.

either way, your fs will admire your sense of inner maturity and be in awe of how much you've been through for your age. you could be someone who's younger, but has a deep and wise soul, and this is something that's gonna be intriguing them in a major way. like pile 2! 🥹 all i keep sensing is them just wanting.. to genuinely hear what you have to say. they really want you to speak to them, so badly, and they're absolutely willing to listen to you for ages, if only they could.

this is one of the piles, who i feel like might have the deepest and most emotional bonds out of the three. you two just give me this vibe of, bonding over potential shared traumas or past experiences which have shaped you both in a significant manner. there's this major feeling of laying your soul bare, making yourself vulnerable in your most “unattractive” ways, but feeling accepted for it by the other party. i believe this pile might have this surprising and almost overwhelming experience of “wow, somebody.. actually sincerely loves me for everything i am, including my wounds and scars i thought were the most unlovable things about me” it might be an unusual but beautiful feeling you truly deserve.

you guys are so so extremely hard on yourselves, and your fs seems very empathetic, and has the potential to make you feel accepted and unconditionally loved, regardless of your flaws and faults. which i believe, is one of the most beautiful things about intimate relationships. rooting for you, dearly! <3

potential messages from your fs for you

“i was hiding my true feelings from you because i was scared of commitment and i didn't want to lose my freedom.”

“i couldn't give to you like i wanted because i'm still healing from my past.”

➳❥ pile 3

so to start, this pile was a little confusing to me, the energies were all over the place; maybe some of your lives are at a chaotic place right now as well.. bare with me while i try my best to explain. excuse the mess 🥹

this pile is po-wer-ful, to say the least. what's coming through right away, you guys know how to make the best out of situations. i feel like some people who chose this pile might know or might've already been with their fs, doesn't necessarily have to be a romantic connection, but there might've been some sort of emotional involvement. if not on your side, perhaps moreso on theirs. (like you were kinda meh whatever towards them, while they genuinely liked you) strong likelihood for them to be a past acquaintance or friend of yours, perhaps a past fling. nevertheless, your fs is noticing how you're the type of person who took whatever situation happened between you two, and turned the negativity into a fuel for power. i heard “your loss, not mine.”

you're someone who's pretty aware of what you want and need in life, and your fs is impressed about that. i do think you learned to comprehend your personal needs better over time. not only does your fs admire your ability to wholeheartedly welcome and embrace what serves you in life, but also your ability to reject the things that don't serve you in any way; and the way in which you express is it in this strong and clear manner. you seem very fair-minded, nicely balanced sense of judgement here; so you're likely to be good at assessing certain situations and weighing out the pro's and con's, saying no and yes according to what you think is right for yourself.

you aren't a person who is gonna accept, stay put and simply run with injustice because you don't wanna cause any drama. if you need to stir some things up in order to get the justice you deserve.. you will be doing that.

i do feel like you might've caused some other people, potentially your fs, feelings of disappointment before, however they're not able to actually be mad at you in retrospect, because in the end they know you're right. there's some situation here where you had to just turn off your emotions and approach things in a more rational manner. there might've been some direct and straightforward (perhaps a little hurtful for some) communication about certain things you weren't happy about or dissatisfied with, and you just truly felt the need to speak up about.

your fs applauds how you can emotionally detach yourself from people when needed, like literally not give a damn, and act according to your own will. they might feel quite jealous of that, envy it to an extent. like “wow, they really don't allow anyone to tell them what to do.” they see a lot of things they wish they were, in you.

i have a feeling you haven't always been like this, but as you matured, you needed to learn how to assert yourself in a stronger manner. at this point in time, you're very much focused on satisfying yourself on your own, before relying on anyone else to do it, so it's giving your fs this message of “well.. i don't really need you.”

your fs might've not enriched your life anymore, you just felt like things got boring and stale, which is why you cut them off. you simply aren't someone who will beat around the bush and walk on eggshells to please anybody. you prefer honest communication, since that's fair in your eyes.

i believe that this pile's fs is eager to work on themselves more in order to be better for you. they might even be waiting for you two to reunite at some point. there's a clear physical distance here, and a waiting period here.

i truly have the feeling they might feel a little inferior to you, and feel intimidated by you to a degree. you might give off a very proud or almost smug vibe to them, even if you yourself don't see it; your fs seems to view you in that light. almost like you got the good side of things, while they're struggling because of the separation.

they might be going through some situations or conversations they had with you in their head over and over, and wonder where exactly they went wrong. they're wondering how they can improve to not make the same mistake again, and i do think what happened between the two of you sparked a lot of personal and spiritual growth for the both of you.

i do feel like this relationship is likely to be a very slow-burn connection that doesn't develop quickly. i feel like the universe is working hard on showing both of you the signs, and letting you two meet again, but it all appears to be a slower work in progress. it's strongly giving a karmic relationship; there's some clear messages to be learnt here.

potential messages from your fs for you

“i know you are my soulmate. our bond is magnetic. i'm seeing all the signs.”

“i'm going through a lot right now. i need space and time to gather my thoughts.”

“i want a second chance, not being with you is killing me.”

“i keep looking at your pics.”

[astrowrld300]

Astro Observations

Pt 2

It's so unreal how well Taurus placements can cook. Especially if there's Cancer in the big three. Taurus suns also have natural green thumbs

Cancer suns with Gemini Venuses are in constant conflict between they're ego and what they actually desire for love

This is definitely becoming common knowledge on the internet but all Libra placements that are personal and not generational are gay to some extent. Something about the scales allows them to go both ways I don't know . Depending on the placement and degree, it might make them uncomfortable, or the may proudly embrace it. But personal Libra placements can definitely go both ways

Cardinal signs are obsessed with each other, even though they're so toxic for each other.

5th house and Leo placements really love music. Leo rules the 5th house which is all about music, creativity and fun. So these natives really feel it.

Having your sun in the 11th house is a beautiful placement and creates a selfless person, but its the only placement for the sun to not be about "I" anymore. The sun is all about ego and self, ruled by Aries, but the 11th house is all about the collective, friends and the "greater good". Your ego is also heavily influenced by the collective and how you insert your self into the world.

Taurus moons have round/visible nostrils. They all have a green thumb for cooking as well

Aquarius suns and moons have very square shaped jawlines. Both the men and women.

The best sun+rising combo I've ever seen for Aquarius suns has to be Cancer rising. The blend is really heavenly and harmonious, the Cancer really softens out the Aquarian features perfectly (talking about the women idk about the men). This is only physical though

The best combo for Cancer suns definitely has to be Virgo in the big three. Either in the moon or rising, Virgo gives Cancer this snatched look that blends perfectly with the bone structure of cancer suns. (I'm also mostly referring to women here I don't know about the men) Although physically pretty, the combo creates a super insecure individual

Travel is such a big theme in the lives of natives with personal 9th house placements. It almost becomes the focus of life if there's a stellium.

Having your moon at 17 degrees (a critical Leo degree) makes you hella dramatic with your feelings. They're still valid, but you come off as a drama queen when feeling them.

Cancer suns are just as insecure and attention seeking as Leo when underdeveloped. Even though they're not sister signs they're ruled by the sun and moon, so essentially they are each other inside out.

Pisces is represented by the fish and the suns usually have big/swelled features and look a little bit like fish. Virgo placements have sharper/more defined features and Aries placements have prominent/tighter features.

Neptune aspecting Venus is a very underrated beauty indicator for transits and natal charts

Sagittarius rising are blessed with good luck in life since their chart ruler is Jupiter, the planet of luck. They also have hips on the larger side since Sagittarius rules the hips

Capricorn rules the skeletal part of the body and the native suns really have that skeleton bone structure in the face

Moon conjunct Rising is one of my favorite placements synastry placements for friendships. They are each other inside out and understand each other without words.

The most underrated house for the moon imo is the 9th house. The moon does really well here, there's a natural optimism and lightness to their feelings and emotions. I think this is from the influence of Sagittarius and Jupiter. They're also really funny people naturally and have a kind of intelligent humor

Cancer and Taurus placements are such big foodies. They also know how to cook very well and genuinely enjoy getting fat over other signs. Obviously all signs have the ability to cook, but Cancers and Tauruses make that home cooked comfort food that tastes like the feeling of your mom carrying you to bed.

5th house moons never feel emotionally fulfilled unless they're feeling some kind of fun or pleasure in life.

Taurus suns are the definition of work smarter not harder

Aries Mercuries are so smart especially if the sun is in Taurus or Gemini.

Geminis are known to talk with their hands and Italy's rising sign is literally Gemini...

You can always tell someone is Somali from the size of their forehead and the countries rising sign is literally Aries

Venus in the 8th house natal and synastry is that kind of ride or die love

Capricorn sun men actually think people what to hear their life lessons/lectures. It's really corny but they genuinely think they're helping. They also care so much about their rep but will never admit it. It makes sense because they rule the tenth house which is the house of popularity and is associated with our public image and rep. So obviously when Capricorn is in the sun, planet of self, their ego is closely tied with how they're perceived by others.

Scorpio moons are low key delusional but it's okay you guys had a rough childhood/relationship with your mother

The sexual attraction is crazy when you have the same mars sign as your partners rising sign (example. Leo mars-Leo rising) or if you have your mars opposite to their mars (example. Leo mars-Aquarius mars)

Aries moon women in red or leopard print is so perfect

Your gonna love the sun sign of whatever your rising sign is since the sun will naturally embody all the traits that you admire and will effortlessly be everything you want to be portrayed as.

Taurus risings, suns and moons look like bulls

Cancer venuses can lowkey hold down gemini venuses, it’s really harmonious for friendships. Not as compatible relationship wise because cancer venuses really don’t mess with how gemini venuses love. The love languages are just too different but when there are no constricting boundaries and it’s more of a playful friendship this pairing really works

[astrocafecoffee]

Placements I like the most ~

Venus in Capricorn: Venus in Capricorn is known for taking life seriously, but they also have a fantastic ability to laugh at life's minor failures, particularly their own. If something goes wrong, their reaction is often more, “Well, that was expected,” followed by a chuckle. It’s like they’ve already calculated the odds of success and know that it’s okay to laugh off the imperfections.

Libra moon : When arguments or tension happen, a Libra Moon might not react immediately. They prefer to process their emotions and figure out what everyone else thinks first. By the time they express their thoughts, the conflict might already be over, and they’ll come in with, “Okay, so here’s my analysis of everything… and I think we should compromise.” Their late-but-thoughtful take is often both hilarious and surprisingly insightful.

Virgo sun:Virgo Suns can be surprisingly adventurous with food, even though they come off as practical and "healthy" eaters. They love trying out new food trends.they love recommending obscure restaurants or dishes no one else has heard of. You might not expect a Virgo Sun to be a connoisseur of anything, but food? They know their stuff.

Mercury in 10th house/mercury in Capricorn: They often have a knack for inspiring others, usually in a low-key, almost accidental way. It could be something as simple as giving you the perfect pep talk when you're stressed at work. They’ll calmly explain, “It’s all about managing expectations and breaking down the project into bite-sized pieces.” And suddenly, you feel like you can conquer the world. They don’t try to be a motivational speaker, but their logical, practical advice often has this surprising, uplifting quality. It’s kind of funny how they can turn a simple conversation into a full-on career inspiration session without even realizing they’re doing it.

Uranus in 12th house: They can heal in ways that feel totally unexpected and even a bit unusual. Whether it’s through sudden insights or unconventional methods, Uranus in the 12th house people have the power to help others break free from old patterns or traumas. They may not even realize they’re doing this at first, but they have an innate ability to help others shift their perspective in profound ways,sometimes without ever saying a word. They might just show up with an idea or suggestion that completely changes someone’s outlook on life.

Cancer moon : Cancer Moons are incredibly intuitive about people’s emotional states, but they tend to pick up on subtle, less obvious cues. They might be able to sense if someone’s having a bad day just by the tone of their voice or the way they hold themselves. However, the funny part is that they might not always verbalize their empathy. They might just quietly offer a cup of tea, a hug, or a homemade treat as their way of saying, "I get it." It’s their way of giving comfort without making a big deal out of it.

Aquarius rising/Sun : While Aquarius risings are known to be social, they do it on their own terms. You might catch them hanging out in a crowd of people but also deeply absorbed in a conversation with just one person about an entirely random topic . They can be surprisingly selective about who they connect with, preferring people who stimulate their intellect or share their unconventional interests. They might be socially active but with their own peculiar style, sometimes standing apart from the crowd but still very much part of the scene.

[httpstes]

* ˚ ✦astro observations VII* ˚ ✦

Links to other astrovations: Astrology observations l, Astrology Observations ll, Astrology observations lll, Astrology observations IV, Astro Observations V Astrology observations VI

✩ Aquarius and pisces moon's can get annoyed with others for no reason, they might even beat themselves up over it. I’ve noticed with these individuals (unless strong 4H placements are involved or cancer) that they tend to not like people who are constantly in their vicinity 24/7, especially friends or lovers, these people rlly enjoy their personal space and alone time so they recharge their social battery as well as their tolerance for others.

✩ Aqua and Pisces moons may also feel that they can’t be their real selves around others, this authentic version of them may only truly be revealed to family members or a very close friend or lover. This could also add to the need to be alone as they could feel no one will ever understand them, their mind, mannerisms and behaviour. It’s like they want someone to pick apart their brain and understand who they are at their core but at the same time they’re afraid of letting others into their internal world.

✩ North Node in the 7th house seems like a difficult placement for the NN to be in. NN in the 1st house would symbolise finding your direction in life independently, therefore being encouraged to rely on oneself. North Node in the 7th house is quite the opposite, in the worst cases, I've seen it manifest in individuals who feel like they're incomplete without a romantic life partner and never properly heal, jumping from one person to the next in order to not be alone. Positively, this placement can indicate being encouraged to work with other people and to develop deep connections to others as with SN in the 1st, you may be more inclined to do things your way. NN in the 7th pushes you in the direction of compromise and balance within relationships.

✩ Chiron and Neptune in the 3rd house can indicate troubles with speaking (speech impediment, afraid of speaking in front of a group of people etc).

✩ Chiron and Neptune in the 3rd can also show early childhood bullying or being purposefully left out/made fun of by other kids your age. I've seen quite a few people with this placement deal with this, and years later they develop social anxiety and in worst cases agoraphobia :(

✩ Going back to the first point of Chiron/Neptune- they may have felt stupid or "slower" than other kids their age when it came to school further adding to the sense of unease and anxiety when it comes to school or dealing with their peers.

✩P.S I love you Chiron/Neptune in 3H individuals ❤️, yall are so strong and you are smarter than you realise 🙏

✩Venus/Sun/Moon/Mars in the 5th house start getting into/doing more creative hobbies. Idc if it's music, writing, poems, acting, knitting, painting, dancing, fashion hell even sculpting and becoming a DJ, JUST DO ITTT. Trust you are blessed with a mind that inclines to the creative side, use this please esp if the moon is in the 5th house it will heal your inner child. Mars here could show you feeling energised from creative pursuits and hobbies, a creative career could be well-suited. Even if you don't pursue a creative career, or (from what some of these people have told me 😭) don't consider yourself creative, do anything where you can add your own twist and opinion to it. Even if you don't think so or see it yourself, others will definitely be able to see the emotion/innovation/vision in whatever you create.

✩Having a lot of placements in the lower hemisphere of the chart especially the 4th house can indicate having an introverted personality.

✩ Furthermore, this can also indicate an individual who has a lot of layers, and it takes a while to get them out of their shell. This or they choose who they want to see the real them, no matter the years you've known them or the closeness.

✩Martian ruled 12H (Scorpio/Aries) or Mars in the 12H can indicate having wild ass dreams. Might involve a lot of fighting, and chasing, honestly it's giving war-zone. Your dreams could be very, very vivid too.

✩ Martian-ruled 12H or Mars in the 12H can also indicate repressing your anger a lot. This could stem from childhood trauma and with Taurus/Sag in the first (Whole signs), you could've felt bad expressing your anger, being taught it's not a good thing to show outward. With Taurus in the 1st this could show developing a put-together and calm demeanor since a young age and not wanting to break that peace wall you have built up. With Sag in the 1st this could show wanting to or being taught to come across as happy all the time or only being positive. Sometimes I've even noticed these individuals would rather come across as wild, carefree and happy than ever admit or show their more...plotting side 😈 (scorpio12H)..ig you could say LMAO.

✩Saturn in the 6H could show an individual needing a routine to keep them mentally in check and sane. Without one, they may feel like their whole life is crumbling right in front of them.

✩9H/3H placements can get on with anyoneee I swear. Even if they don't think so or if they are more introverted in nature, others just feel they give off this carefree, relaxed vibe making it easier for conversation and getting to know them. (Unless there's like Pluto on the Ascendant lol or sumn, this placement by itself tho does give off carefree knowledgeable energy).

✩Venus conj Saturn can show your boundaries constantly being tested and the universe sending you the same people in a different font, testing your ability to blindly love others until you get it straight lolll.

✩Saturn conj Venus can also show; dating/attracting older people, those who fuck with you romantically get screwed over eventually #karma, and or being serious about love like only wanting/pursuing relationships that are long-term.

✩Saturn conj Venus can also indicate meeting your "true love" later on in life, and by later I mean whatever point in time it is societally deemed 'oh that's very late to get married' blah blah.

✩These individuals could also just have good standards for what they want from their partner/future spouse (love that for you guys)

✩Back to NN in the 1st, stop serving other people and be of service to yourself!! It's okay to be selfish sometimes.

✩Uranus in the 1H, Aqua asc, yall weird 🤓. You already know that but I just felt the need to reiterate it, love all your little quirks and hyperfixations tho ❤️

✩Mars in the 11H be up to some crazy stuff in the bedroom (notice the Aquarian themes here)

✩Saturn overlaying the 4th house in synastry, 4th house person may feel like the Saturn individual is their 4lifer and can see them staying in their life long-term.

✩Not an observation just a personal opinion, I love people's charts where their planets sprinkle EVERYWHERE in the chart, it's so cool IMO and these people tend to be very balanced and have knowledge on all areas of life. I also don't know why but these charts are rare for me to find. Individuals who have planets in nine different houses is crazy I wanna see your chart.

PS- The astrovations are so back 🙏

ღAll my notes are personal observations and thoughts. I am not a professional astrologer and like to have a sense of whimsy in my life by looking at peoples charts, thankyou.