#apple genius bar

[imasillygooose]

Here's your daily picture of Jon Matteson

Imagine walking into the Apple store and seeing Jon working the genius bar

I think I would genuinely pass out

[applejee]

spilt half a mug of matcha latte in my macbook pro. What of it

[iero]

Think I totally screwed up my laptop by trying to clear up space on it today, so that’s wonderful... 

[saruvanthewhite]

Apple: “Hi! We’re calling to let you know the part that you requested to repair your phone has come in. Stop on by at your earliest convenience and will get right to it.”

Me: :stops by at earliest convenience:

also Apple: “Oh! As it turns out, it looks like our earliest possible turnaround time will be six hours from now. Sorry.”

-When I worked for Apple ages ago, we would have bent over backward to make good on an earlier promise, but that doesn’t seem to hold true today-

[tmcphotoblog]

Apple Store Milton Keynes, England, United Kingdom

[timeclonemike]

To butcher a quote from Winston Churchill,

“Microsoft is the worst computer company on earth, except for all the others.”

Why is dealing with Apple such a fucking chore all the time?

[thejaymo]

Now, as Cubans have gained greater access to tech from abroad, services like creating Apple IDs and removing carrier locks on iPhones are still in demand — for which local technicians have developed their own creative strategies. To create an Apple ID, without which many of the phone’s functions won’t work, repair people must provide a foreign phone number to pass the two-factor authentication process. To accomplish this, they use free websites like TextNow, which offer users unlimited SMS messages and calls from outside of Cuba.

[b00bstone]

The kitten I adopted broke my computer screen and I didn’t have it entirely backed up and there are pictures of my dead dog on there that I don’t have anywhere else and I don’t know what to do I’m scared if I take it in to get fixed they’ll wipe it and those photos will be gone forever but I can’t get the screen to work anymore so I can’t back up the photos now

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Contained Monstrous Family  

Thinking about being born into a monstrous family

You, a baby human lovingly in the arms of a vampire man and his werewolf husband 

“Aw isn’t our little peony just perfect!”

“Another gorgeous cub, in our pack. Good job hon!”

“Thanks!”

Inside your opulent crib with a bone ladden mobile above you and the heads of two of your eldest siblings show

“They haven’t got nearly enough fur!” your moth brother says 

Your basilisk sister scoffs,” Or any scales for that matter!”

Life is lovely for awhile 

You’re the apple of everyone’s eye as the youngest of the family

But it’d be early on when you’d discover that wasn’t all that made you different

If they had been more careful perhaps you wouldn’t have discovered what the family hunts were all about 

Chasing humans–creatures just like you–for sport

Who could blame 5-year-old you?

The school lessons you’d sneak to listen to always said to call the authorities if something was wrong

You can vaguely recall the events that followed your brain clearly walling off the memory out of guilt

Time has passed and you are a partially thriving adult

Able to support yourself and devote your time to your study of the mythical

In a movement that had recently come to light, plenty of creatures spoken about in folktales were appearing

And your place of work was housing them

Housing was a strong word

maybe detaining and experimenting were better

As part of the maintenance crew, your job is to upkeep the creatures by their specified scientists demands

Occasionally offering your observations about whatever habits they have when it comes to eating, cleaning, etc.

As someone who’s been working with the facility for a long time so long you may not remember when you’ve become the experienced lead of your department

But you do still interact with the creatures specifically the most high-priority or high-maintenance ones

And like any other, you’ll report for duty with the newly acquired vampire 

Apparently, they’ve been talked about for their violence and intelligent ramblings

Claiming it was married to an earlier capture and the father of some others

So far it drained forty of your employees 

So now it was time for you to come face to face with this menace

You’ll wave off the security guard as you come up to the window

“Your file says your name is Villar? 

“GRAAGRH!!!”

“We won’t get very far if you keep lashing out like this. I’m in charge of making sure you eat, I suggest you get it in gear if you want to ever to see your husband again.”

At the mention of his husband the blonde vampire deflates

His black scleras morph into white 

He tiredly rests his head against the silver bars despite the skin burning

“You…will let me see him?”

You tilt your head sympathetically,” If you can comply with some of our tests. It’ll be a lot easier to make it a necessity for you two to meet if you cease killing so much of our staff.”

He growls tearing himself from the bars to glare 

“What do I have to do to see him?”

You smile flipping through your clipboard

“There’s three blood tests, four endurance tests, and intelligence quizzes for a start. That sound like a plan?”

The vampire reluctantly nods 

You look back at the camera and begin to walk out 

“Hey! What’s your name so I’ll know to tear your throat out if they lie to me?”

You smile again on your way out hushing the security guard

“I’m (Y/n). Pleasure meeting you Villar.”

The black-haired vampire loses his vitriol as he’s reminded of the little bundle he’s agonized over losing so long ago

“WAI–”

“Doctor (Y/n) your absolute genius has saved this company again.”

“I appreciate the thought, but I’m just someone trying to have a peaceful work environment.”

As planned you handle the older werewolf man

Violent, giant, and usually rotting in his corner 

He hasn’t moved much until you got involved

*knock**knock*

“Hey bud, I’ve got good news for you.”

At the sound of your voice, the werewolf Rod is at the silver bars, practically grazing them as he gets as close as he can to your little window

“Hello (Y/n), have you been eating well today?”

“Sure did but I have an update about your husband.”

He stills but looks interested

“He’s going to work with us so he can see you.”

“That is…what you want?”

“Yes and for you to do the same.”

He stands tall for once, taking an unusual air of authority

“I refuse to do anything if my conditions are not met.”

“Even if it means not seeing him again?”

He growls and turns away from the window

“Look my Uncle is not going to let me go in alone for your tests. Even if you’ve been peaceful so far, he just doesn’t want to take that chance.”

He snarls at the mention of your uncle 

“Fine. Then come in with twice as many guards but I will only agree if it’s you.”

You thank him for his time, “we’ll have to see what Uncle says.”

When you leave the werewolf man slinks back into his corner 

You’ll have to negotiate with your uncle about the most prized pieces of his collection his facility

Not to count the latest editions claiming to be related to the vampire and werewolf 

The real obsession starts because every member of the original family realizes just who you are 

And using your job as a mediator to piece together how you managed to slip out of their grasp

When Villar and Rod finally meet they nuzzle and kiss each other as they whisper to one another

“That’s them! Isn’t it? Our baby’s okay!”

“I know, now we just have to take them far away from here.”

Thus chaos is bound to ensue as they balance escaping with their long-lost human child 

With promises to pay back your abductor and all these scientists back ten-fold for the pain they’ve brought their little family

Part 2

[cutyrteeth]

took the baby (my macbook) to the doctor (the genius bar) and i won’t see it til monday 😭

[fayes-fics]

Textual Encounter

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, modern AU

Summary: Text fic. Wrong number meet-cute over text.

Warnings: none... this is fluff and humour.

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: Fic request fill for Anon (HERE). I kept it fun and fluffy, but yeah, I can see a sequel where they sext. Thanks to @colettebronte for the read-through. Enjoy! <3

Y/N: Hey Liz, it’s y/n y/l/n. Kindle Spa gave me your mobile. Said you had moved to another salon. I don’t trust anyone else to wax me tbh. Big date this week, kwim 😉 Can I get an appt? I’ll come to you. Doesn’t matter where. 

BB: Errr, I think you have the wrong number…

Y/N: Not Liz?

BB: Nope, Ben here. 

Y/N: Not a waxer, I presume?

BB: I may have waxed lyrical in my time, may even have lit a few candles. Have not waxed anyone no - my own body or anyone else’s. Yet. But I’m game to try anything once...

Y/N: Lol.

BB: Big date, eh?

Y/N: ….Yeah. Not that it's any of your business, stranger Ben.

BB: Fair. BB: Does it hurt?

Y/N: ??

BB: Getting waxed.

Y/N: Oh. Yeah. Like a motherfucker. But you sorta get used to it, tbh. And it’s so much less itchy than shaving regrowth, especially in sensitive areas… Wait, why am I having this convo with a complete stranger?!

BB: We don’t have to be strangers. BB: I’m Ben, 33, London. BB: I have no strong opinions on hair removal methods.

Y/N: lol. K. I’m y/n, 28, also London. Y/N: I, as you can see, do have some opinions.

BB: Hi y/n 👋 BB: I hope you can find Liz. Or someone else to assist with your hair needs.

Y/N: I would like it stated, for the record, I’m not hairy like a troll. I just like to keep things neat.

BB: The lady doth protest too much…

Y/N: You are cheeky for a stranger.

BB: Hey, I thought we agreed. Not strangers. Me Ben. You hairy troll.

Y/N: BLOCK.

BB: Just typing it doesn't work, you know.

Y/N: You should work at the Apple Genius Bar.

BB: Hmm, possibly. I do look good in blue. Or so I've been told.

Y/N: Always glad to provide career counselling.

BB: 🫡

4 days later.

BB: How’d your date go?

Y/N: That's odd. I don’t see a Genius Bar appt in my calendar…?

BB: iCal is a lying bastard. BB: I also assume you now can move faster through water.

Y/N: ??

BB: Waxed smooth like a dolphin…?

Y/N: 😆 Y/N: Entirely none of your business, but yes, actually. Well mostly. I leave some. Why am I telling you this?! Y/N: The guy was such a dud tho, I didn't get to show it off 🙁

BB: Please don't stop on my account. This is just delightful.  BB: I apologise on behalf of all men.

Y/N: For what?

BB: Having 4 sisters, I find the safest answer here is usually… everything, of course.  BB: But specifically, your rubbish date.

Y/N: Apology conditionally accepted. Y/N: 4 sisters?! 

BB: Only conditional? What do I gots to do to make it unconditional? BB: Yeah, I know… I’ve got 3 brothers too. My parents were really into each other. 

Y/N: IDK, serve a mean martini? Y/N: Understatement.

BB: That could be arranged. I took an online mixology course during lockdown.  BB: My sister El declared I'm better than Stanley Tucci. Admittedly, that was after 4 espresso martinis… but I'm taking it. She's opinionated but the best one. They are a weird bunch tho 🤔

Y/N: WOAH WOAH WOAH. That's a bold claim.

BB: Well, there’s only one way to dispute it: try one for yourself…

Y/N: Smooth, Genius Bar, smooth.

BB: I do my best 🤷

1 day later.

Y/N: I can't get my AirPods to work.

BB: You do realise I didn’t actually follow your career advice?

Y/N: Urgh. Inconvenient. What use are you then?

BB: As I said. Cocktails. I’ll try my hand at waxing if you want.

Y/N: Best stick to the day job. Which is…?

BB: Graphic design.

Y/N: Oh, that’s quite cool. 

BB: It pays the bills. You?

Y/N: MI-5

BB: Wow, you're a shit spy.

Y/N: It could be an excellent double bluff…

BB:

Y/N: Oh, we’ve graduated to memes now, have we, Genius Bar?

BB: It was called for.

Y/N: I’ll take it. Purely cos it's a Hemsworth.

BB: I would too, tbh.

Y/N: Bi?

BB: For a Hemsworth? Always.

Y/N: Anyone else?

BB: I’ll keep you posted.

Y/N: I'm on the edge of my seat.

3 days later.

BB: Oscar Issac.

Y/N: Good non sequitur evening to you, too, Genius Bar Ben.

BB: For the bi thing.

Y/N: Ahh. Got it. I can respect that.

BB: This is me, btw: www.instagram.com/benbridgerdesign.  BB: Figured you can decide for yourself if I'm a creeper.

Y/N: Appreciated.

3 minutes later.

Y/N: You paint?

BB: I dabble

Y/N: Modesty will only make me like you more.

BB: You like me?! 🥹

Y/N: You didn't mention you were handsome.

BB: There is no way to respond to that without me sounding like a twat.

BB: But thank you 😊

Y/N: This is me: www.instagram.com/ynhandle 

7 minutes later.

BB: Oh, Amalfi is so beautiful, isn't it?

Y/N: Wow. That's a deep cut. How far did you scroll back??

BB: 👀

Y/N: Yeah, it's beautiful. Shame it's tainted for me now. Was there with an ex.

BB: I saw. Very handsome.

Y/N: Are you sure you're not just into men full-stop?

BB: 🤷 BB: You’re very pretty, too.

Y/N: I’d believe it if you didn't mention my “very handsome” ex first…

BB: I call it like I see it. BB: I have had 4 whiskeys, tho, so make of that what you will.

Y/N: On a school night?!

BB: It’s my brother Ant's birthday. This is like non-optional drunk, I’ll have you know.

Y/N: Happy birthday to him. 

BB: He says thanks. He’s also told me to get off my fucking phone. Which is rich. He is texting his wife nonstop.

Y/N: Hah! Safe travels through Whiskeytown, BenBridger 🫡

BB: I kinda miss Genius Bar…. 😞

Y/N: I can't win…

2 days later.

BB: Settle an argument for me.

Y/N: 🍿

BB: Col, younger brother, never stops eating... He claims Katz Deli is overrated. I argue it's touristy but still good. You’ve been. Where do you sit on this matter?

Y/N: You really did go thru my Insta, didn't you?? Y/N: Thanks for the follow, BTW.

BB: It's a compliment, I assure you. BB: Welcome. And same.

Y/N: Not complaining. And yeah, I agree with you, actually.

BB: Hah! Excellent!!

Y/N: Wait… your older brother is Ant, and your younger brother is Col? You’re Ben. So, like ABC?

BB:  … I already warned you my family was weird.

Y/N: You did. You did.

BB: Now, please excuse me while I go gloat.

Y/N: 👍

5 mins later.

BB: Hi. This is Col. You must be the famous y/n. Ben’s in the bogs, and the mug left his phone on the table unlocked, so this is on him.  BB: He like really likes you. Like a lot. Will you go on a date with him pls? 

Y/N: Err, ok, hi Col. Y/N: Umm, I think Ben should be the one to ask me that. Don’t you?

BB: He’s too scared you’ll say no.

Y/N: I won't…

BB: EXCELLENT.

2 minutes later.

BB: I am so SO sorry about that 😬 He’s such a shit. BB: But… do you mean it?

Y/N: Ask me properly…

BB: Would you, y/n, like to go on a date with me? Please?

Y/N: I would be delighted to Ben. 😀

BB: 🙏 BB: Are you free on Thursday? Could I take you to dinner?

Y/N: Sounds wonderful. 

BB: 7pm? Meet at Picadilly Circus? By Brasserie Zedel?

Y/N: I’ll be there 😀

BB: 😀

10 days later.

BB: I think you should know… Liz is an artiste 😮‍💨

Y/N: Stop texting me from my bed, you dork. 😘 Y/N: How do you take your coffee?

BB: I'm like 10 meters away. Why not just ask me?

Y/N: You started this, Genius Bar…

BB: Come back to bed, Mostly Hairless Troll.

Y/N: I asked for that, didn't I? 🤦

Benedict taglist, pt 1: @makaylan @longingintheuniverse @iboopedyournose @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kmc1989 @desert-fern @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @sya-skies

[thoughtfulfiction]

Hike of a Lifetime

Author’s Note: Set in the 2022 offseason after Justin’s labrum surgery in January 2023. Rewriting my first Justin fic is a full circle moment for me so I hope you like this one!

The last two hours of your life had been spent going over orders of Gatorade protein shakes, protein pack quick bites that usually contained some sort of cheese and sausage, various brands of Greek yogurt, apples, bananas, blueberries, granola bars and anything else you could think of to stock the weight room with while you were on vacation. You had been the head nutritionist for the UCLA men's basketball team for the last year, making customized, ever changing meal plans and consulting with the health care staff to enhance your athlete's performance to the best of your ability.

After the team's loss to Gonzaga in the NCAA tournament known as March Madness, you ran to Eugene, Oregon at the first opportunity you had to go see your sister Chloe. March up until this point was one busy day after another, truly living up to the name. Most days you didn't even feel like you got to sit down for more than 10 minutes at a time due to the constant travel and meetings you had to attend. So you took a week off and as soon as you closed your laptop today, you were going to enjoy being one with nature.

Chloe had moved to Eugene two years before you got your LA job, working as a team photographer for the University of Oregon's football team, allowing the two of you to see each other during conference play more often, which had done wonders for your relationship. It's one thing to be siblings but you could genuinely call her a friend now, which was both weird to say aloud, and nice.

"Do you want the good news or the bad news first?" Chloe steps into the living room, breaking you out of your vigorous typing. You look up and groan at the guilty look on her face. That was definitely an I have a work emergency and I’m going to be leaving you, look.

"No. You're not canceling on me. I got here two days ago and I have yet to really be outside. How am I supposed to enjoy some of the most beautiful scenery of my life if I'm stuck at the house the whole time? Does spring ball even matter anyway?"

Chloe laughs, heading into the kitchen to grab a snack. You'd recently lectured her about how although cereal is a grain, she can't consider it a food group and she needs to introduce more of a balanced variety in her diet. Unless she enjoys her daily 4pm sugar crash. She surprises you by pulling out a bowl of overnight oats from the fridge, with strawberries on top. After giving her your nod of approval, she gets back to the issue at hand. "Yes, spring ball matters. But I promise you it will not take me that long, I'll be back before you know it."

You huff out a breath, trying to come up with a solution. "What if you have one of your interns do it? Mine are really holding down the fort this week, I'm obviously working from home to help them out a little and I think you should do the same."

"Well our jobs are a little different. I can give them things to edit and post but I don't want to have to approve every single one of their photos and make sure they're featuring the right position groups and players based on a schedule that I created in my head. It'll just be easier if I'm there to walk them through it and then I can come home and we'll have a relaxing week until you have to be back in messy Hollywood."

"It's just Los Angeles, not Hollywood, genius. I still work at a university just like you do," you laugh at her exaggerated version of the place you now call home.

She rolls her eyes, stepping away from her food to grab her keys. "Same difference. It's all polluted air and earthquakes anyway."

Finally finished with your task, you stand up to snatch the keys out of her hand and lead the way to the garage. "Whatever, I'm in clean air now and would really like to be able to experience it. So I'll be dropping you off and getting to my hike."

You get out of the car and the sun immediately hits your skin, not in a way that’s intense but rejuvenating, bringing you back to life. The scent of early spring, mixed in with the sweet smell of freshly bloomed rhododendron sparks a further revival. The air really is different here. Life is more…undisturbed.

Families are getting out of their vehicles without a crushing sense of urgency that you’re used to, people are laughing and enjoying each other’s company and you’ve been to this park before so you feel somewhat comfortable navigating the terrain on your own, opting to quiet the sounds of the world by listening to a podcast during your leisurely stroll. Without even making it a mile on the trail, you spot a friendly black dog making his way over to you, nudging your leg with his wet nose, essentially demanding that you pet him. You usually probably wouldn’t have but the serene energy of the space you’re in brings it out of you.

“Well hello there, buddy. Who do you belong to?” You bent down to search for a name on his collar. “Dylan, that’s a cute name. Should we go find who you came here with before someone has a heart attack?” You laughed softly as the dog happily panted away and let you grab onto the leash. Before you could even take a step, you heard a booming voice calling out the dog’s name.

The distressed figure comes into view and lets out a sigh of relief. “Oh my gosh, thank you so much for grabbing him. I’m so sorry if he’s bothering you, I bent down to tie my shoe and this guy decided to make a break for it.”

“He’s taking advantage of the fact that you only have one good arm.” You point out, remembering the shoulder surgery announcement you saw in the LA Times. The man was probably getting used to having both arms again. “No worries, he’s sweet. And super friendly.” You handed him the leash and he thanked you again.

“I seriously owe you, my mom would’ve killed me if I lost our dog when I just got home.” He chuckles nervously. God his laugh was cute. “I’m sorry, I never got your name. I’m Justin.”

“I know.” You smile. “It’s nice to meet you though, I’m y/n. Hope you enjoy the rest of your hike.” You grabbed your AirPods and went to place them back in your ears to finish getting lost in your own little world once again before he stops you.

“Wait—maybe we could finish out the hike…together? You know, just so Dylan doesn’t take advantage of me again.” Maybe he was just being cautious because there was no way he was flirting with you…right?

Those green eyes were going to get you in trouble and you knew it. But you were on a beautiful scenic getaway and hiking with Justin Herbert wasn’t going to come around every single day.

“Let’s do it. Wouldn’t want you to hurt your shoulder even more chasing after Dylan. Bolt nation might collectively collapse if anything happens to you so I’m calling this a public service.”

He unsuccessfully tries to stifle a laugh. “What a Good Samaritan you are.”

Justin was funny. And sweet. And the most fun company you’ve had in a while. You talked about your job, the entire NCAA tournament and what you both thought about being in LA. Even though you both lived very different lives, it was filled with sports and schedules and meetings and practices and there were a lot of things to bond over. Before you knew it you’d been out there for three hours and Rachel texted you to let you know she was done and ready to resume your sisterly activities. He took a look at your deflated expression.

“Do you need to head out?”

“Yeah, unfortunately.” You whispered. “This was fun though.”

He readjusts the hat on his head. “Yeah this was great. Um, I meant what I said earlier though. I owe you.” He gestures towards the phone in your hands and you hand it to him watching him type in his number, texting himself immediately so he has yours.

“Maybe we could grab dinner or something before you head back to LA?” He states pensively, holding his breath a bit until you answer.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

The two of you head back to the parking lot and you give Dylan one more pat on the head. You look up to meet Justin’s gaze, shy smiles painting both of your faces. He walked you all the way to your car and waved goodbye as you drove away to meet Rachel.

While you waited all you could do was stare at your phone, Justin had given you his number and you had his. He’d put his actual contact information in your phone AND had asked you to go to dinner. None of this felt like real life, what kind of person stumbles upon an NFL quarterback on a normal hike?

“Why are you smiling like that? It scares me.” Chloe interrupts your thoughts. You hadn’t even realized she opened the door and got in the car. “Did that hike change your life or something?” She finished with a dry laugh.

“I’m not sure, but I think it may have…”

Rachel nods her head slowly, desperately hoping to understand what’s going on. “Yeah okay whatever. Let’s get some lunch because I am absolutely starving.”

You put the car in drive, your phone notifying you of a text from its spot on the dashboard car mount. Rachel grabs it and asks, “who the hell is Justin and why is he asking if you’re free tomorrow night?”

“Just some guy I met while hiking, no big deal,” you tried and failed to be nonchalant. She knew you way better than that.

“If it’s really no big deal then tell that to the gigantic smile on your face. You’re going on that date. I’m texting him back to let him know you’ll be free.”

All that Chloe knows is his name. The rest of it you decide to keep to yourself not only to respect his privacy but you want to keep this special thing for you and only you. In case this doesn’t go anywhere, you’ll always have the memory of today and whatever happens on Friday to look back on fondly. And by telling your sister you’re putting a little bit more pressure on it, like this has to become something. You don’t really know this guy yet, only the small tidbits that he shared on the walk and that his family dog’s name is Dylan, who would run away with any stranger if enough treats were offered.

There are so many things going through your mind as you change your outfit for the fourth time tonight. What if he thinks you’re boring? Or he’s boring? What happens if the two of you run out of things to say and you’re just sitting in the restaurant in awkward silence until someone decides to call it a night? Even worse, what if this is the best date you ever go on, you fall for him and then never hear from him again because he’s an NFL quarterback and you sometimes spend three hours a day planning out breakfast options for 18-22 year old basketball players.

You glanced in the mirror, slinging a tiny black purse over your shoulder with a subtle smirk on the way out the door at your final clothing choice. Chloe mentioned that the car outside being a super nice Porsche and you made something up about thinking that he worked in finance or a job closely related to that so she wouldn't keep digging for more information. All she followed up with was "have fun and be safe."

Ambrosia's staff walked you and Justin into the restaurant by the back entrance into a private room, which was the most abnormal part of the night. The rest of the evening was spent consuming seafood stuffed mushrooms, pasta and sharing a classic tiramisu, the best one you'd ever had in your life.

The nerves that once seeped through every pore were quickly replaced with what a vacation was supposed to feel like. Conversation flowed easily, there was no pressure to be perfect or funny or overly sexy. Justin was so…normal. He was pretty, not in a way that was intimidating because you really weren’t sure he realized how attractive he actually is. But pretty in a sense that everything about him made him more attractive. His ability to actively listen to the words you say and bring them back up when it’s relevant. The way his dimples are more pronounced when he laughs. The way he stops mid conversation to say thank you to the service staff every time they refill his water. There wasn’t a bone in his body that wasn’t filled with humility and kindness. Everything he did was gentle. And on top of all of that he paid without hesitation.This date truly had been a breath of fresh air.

“Thank you for tonight, I had a lot of fun.”

His lips curl into a smile, “this was probably the best first date I’ve had.” He doesn’t know why he’s just admitted that to you, but he’s glad it’s out there now.

“Me too,” you stand up out of your chair after he does, a collection of butterflies appearing in your stomach when he places a hand on the small of your back, before encasing his hand with yours to lead you out of the restaurant.

“When are you heading back to LA?” He asks. You only know that because you’re reading his lips and not listening to a word he’s saying. You really want to kiss him.

You hesitate to lean in, bringing your focus back to his eyes, meeting his soft gaze. “I’ll be here for a couple more days, then it’s back to work. What about you?”

“Tomorrow…” he begins, slowly losing his train of thought when a little bit of the light goes out in your eyes. Should he kiss you before he leaves in the morning or wait until you’re both back in California with busy schedules and no clue if and when you’ll see each other again? “…I don’t want to leave now due to some unforeseen circumstances,” he laughs, “unfortunately I’ve got some stuff to take care of. But I’ll call you and we can maybe do this again?”

“Yeah. Definitely. I’ll see you around.” He gave you a warm hug on the way out and you watched him walk away to his car, smiling to yourself at the thought of a second date. You couldn’t wait for that phone call.

Two weeks later...he still hasn’t called. You would’ve been surprised had you not prepared yourself for this very scenario. Even with all of this so-called “preparation,” the radio silence from him still stung. Who would’ve thought this would happen? The NFL quarterback is busy with his offseason recovery while the girl he went on one singular date with continues to replay minute by minute interactions they had. No one could’ve seen this coming. The thought of that date feels like so long ago and the fact that you can remember it in vivid detail is a feels a little humiliating. You can’t even look at an Apple Watch without your stomach ending up in knots.

You've closed your office door today, taking a few hours to yourself in between meetings. Earlier in the day you and the rest of the staff had to sit through a Tyr presentation, listening to the representatives of the brand try to sell you their endurance sports drink and leaving you with some samples. Then you had CLIF come in with some new energy chew flavor samples for the guys to try. All of the boxes of products now sat in your office and you really hoped to spend the rest of the day going through the food budget, managing receipts and preparing for your first year presentations for when the new freshman arrived sometime in June. You were glancing back and forth between Whole Foods receipts and Amazon orders when your phone rang. Too busy and in the middle of crunching numbers, you ignored the call. Then it started ringing again. You stop what you're doing, assuming that if someone is calling you twice in a row, it must be urgent. The contact name flashing on the screen has you frozen in time.

It was Justin.

Even though you've been alone in your office for a while, you look around to make sure you're not making this up and this is actually happening. He's calling you. Finally.

"Hello? Who is this?" You can hear him shuffling around, probably walking around in a circle aimlessly just like you are. Despite your best efforts to seem unfazed.

"I deserve that," he cringes. "I'm so sorry for not calling you sooner."

"What—what made you call me now?"

He can tell your voice is softer than when you first answered, and he missed hearing it. "Um...life got a little ahead of me and that's not an excuse. I just—didn't want you to think that I wasn't ever going to call," he pauses, "can I make you dinner? Tonight? If you're free. And we can talk in person."

You look at the door with a sigh, contemplating your entire existence. And then you think...fuck it. "Yeah sure, I'm free tonight. Text me your address and I'll be there around 7?"

"Seven works, I'll see you tonight."

His house is perfectly spotless. There is just no way that a single adult man in his 20s is naturally this organized and clean. Even the cat, who he introduces to you as Nova, a gorgeous Bengal walks around like she owns the place, greeting you briefly (sizing you up) before trotting away without a second glance. Justin walks you into the kitchen where he's in the middle of plating the meal. He just looked good doing normal things, filling glasses of water, opening and closing the fridge, taking off his apron. You really needed to get a grip. "It smells great in here chef, what's on the menu?"

He laughs a little, presenting his dish like he's the star of a Food Network show. "Tonight I've made for you a Traeger filet mignon seasoned with the Traeger seasoning and chimichurri sauce with a side of roasted garlic mashed potatoes and asparagus."

You happily clap for his A+ presentation and he gives you a bow. "Justin, this looks amazing! I can't wait to dig in."

The man leads you to the table, setting the plate down in front of you before grabbing a seat right next to you. "So...let me explain."

Taking a bite of your food, you shake your head. "You really don't have to explain yourself, we went on one date. There's nothing to explain I mean—”

"Yeah there is. I want you to know that I wanted to call sooner, I really did. But I came back and had to meet with doctors to make sure my recovery was on track and then the draft happened and then I had to talk about the future of my contract and I didn't want the craziness of my life to overshadow what we have going on. The last thing I wanted was for you to feel like you're being put on the backburner."

Unbeknownst to you, he had also been replaying that date...more often that he'd like to admit. Anytime he had a minute to himself he thought about calling, seeing what you're doing. And then there was a meeting, or a draft party or someone needing him to be somewhere. But you were always on his mind and he was glad to now have life slow down a little bit to show you he really did care.

"I get it. Definitely thought you forgot about me there for a second. A few seconds," you correct yourself. "But I knew you were busy and we're here now so you're forgiven. Especially because this steak is incredible."

"Well thank you," he smiles sheepishly.

He begged you not to help him clean up but you insisted. After everything was put away he gave you a tour of the place and then you sat on the couch looking for a movie to watch until the stack of puzzles on the shelf caught your eye.

"You haven't unwrapped this one. Is it new?" You note the plastic wrap lining the box on the shelf meeting you at eye level. The flowers look familiar but you can't exactly remember where you've seen them before.

“There's a lot of flowers at the park we met. Any rhododendron I see now," he nods at the box in your hand, "makes me think of you. So I bought this. Figured we could do it together.” The way he's looking at you when you turn around makes you feel warm and tingly inside.

Something about being with him is addicting. You feel physically drawn to him, this pull, an invisible hold that he has on your heart that soon makes you want to run for the hills. But you know that the second you’re away from him it’ll feel like an important new part of your life has been ripped away. It almost felt like the universe had sent Justin to you as an apology for all men. Even doing something as simple as a puzzle feels like the most romantic thing in the world. All of the pieces are laid out on the table and you tackle the corners first, working from the outside in. You're sitting so close to each other that your arms are touching, reaching and grabbing at the puzzle pieces in sync like a well oiled machine. He pulls you into his lap toward the end when there's a few pieces left, giving you a high five when all 300 pieces are in their rightful place. Your hand is in his once again, like it belongs there, holding you close and steady.

He lets you go momentarily to cup your face, a look of adoration adorning his that makes your chest clench. “I’ve been thinking about kissing you for the last 22 days," Justin whispers, his face so close to yours you can feel his breath on your lips.

"Then why are you still waiting?" You whisper back, barely able to finish your sentence because he's nipping at your bottom lip, teasing you slightly as he runs his thumb across your jaw. You're a puddle in his hands, his lips on yours kissing you with his heart pounding against his chest like he's never kissed anyone before. The kiss is so simple yet the most intense experience either of you have been a part of and you want more. Both of you are fighting for dominance, a somewhat rough dance of tongues and a little bit of teeth increasing in intensity the longer the kiss lasts. You moan into his mouth, feeling him begin to stand at attention underneath you, deepening the kiss by pulling him in even closer by his hair. The other hand is wrapped around his thigh, squeezing his leg and producing goosebumps across his entire body. He had to take a few moments to recover, slightly out of breath at the kiss that he was convinced had just changed his life. "Was that worth the 22 day wait?" You ask with a laugh, holding his head in your hands.

He nods, still incapable of speech, blowing out a breath of relief when the tightness in his pants continues to go down. You lazily make out throughout the entirety of whatever movie he puts on, more than making up for lost time.

You have to be at the facility early for morning workouts so Justin walks you out to your car, pulling you in for one more kiss. "Text me when you get home so I know you made it safe?"

"I will."

Justin lays in bed that night looking at your goodnight text, already planning the third date in his head because he needs to somehow make it better than tonight was. He doesn't have any ideas yet, he just knows he can't get enough of you.

One year later...

You were back in Eugene at your favorite park, ready to get back to your favorite scenery.

"Are you excited?" You ask Dylan, who barks excitedly as you hold onto his leash. That must mean yes.

Justin laughs beside you, grabbing onto your hand. "You ready?" He gives you a kiss on the forehead before the three of you begin your hike.

[wantondoe]

Halloween in Hell

!!STORY CONTAINS SOME SPOILERS!!

Hello! Just felt like writing something about Halloween. Reader is a huge fan of Halloween, interacting with everyone. Reader is gender neutral. Includes some swearing, insinuations of sex and mentions of alcohol and drug (naturally).

Ah, Halloween in Hell. How... fitting. The dim streets of Hell were laced with fairy lights and Halloween themed decoration, creating shadows on the streets. Cafés were serving Halloween-themed goods, and the streets were busy in general. Kids wearing costumes and carrying pumpkin baskets were running around and knocking on the doors and eating caramel apples.

You were hanging Halloween decoration around the lobby windows. You had seen those skeleton-themed fairy lights at the store and immediately seen a vision. You had impulsively bought ten boxes of the lights.

"Um, toots, are you sure we're gonna need all those boxes?" Angel had asked, seeing you carry the boxes inside.

"Come on, Angel. Usually you appreciate my impulsivity", you had responded wittily.

You found it odd that out of all people in the hotel, you were the one who was taking Halloween so seriously. You had been watching Halloween movies since August and made a whole Pinterest board about Halloween snack ideas.

"Oh! Those snacks look so cute! Spider muffins, mummy sausages, bloody punch and even cinnamon roll cake that looks like intestines!" Nifty had stared at your phone as you scrolled through Pinterest.

"You know, Nifty, we could cook and bake these together!"

Besides, this was serious. In three days, there would be a Halloween party at the Hotel. Since Sir Pentious had been redeemed, the hotel had really bloomed in popularity. Sinners were coming in, hoping to be redeemed. Charlie and Alastor even had to ask Nifty to clean the rooms of the 3rd floor, that's how full the hotel was. The little janitor was more than glad to tidy the rooms up. The Halloween party was meant to be a nice gathering between the sinners and the hotel staff.

Everything had to be perfect. Even the king of Hell and Charlie's dad, Lucifer, would be joining them. There would also be some other influential demons. Charlie was going to attempt to advertise the hotel to them.

"You know Charlie, maybe we could even make some posters. That makes it easier to explain this Hotel", you had casually suggested while carving pumpkins. "I think we should make new ones anyway. The old ones are a little outdated."

"That's right! I should get started with them..." Charlie pondered.

"Don't worry. I'm sure Vaggie would be more than happy to help you", you had given Charlie an encouraging smile.

"I know... She's amazing", Charlie said with stars in her eyes. "She's fiercely loyal."

"Where does one find people like that"? you sighed, carving the pumpkin's eyes.

"I believe everyone has a a soulmate!" Charlie responded with her usual optimism.

The next day, you shook the drunken bartender. "Husk! HUSK!"

"Get your hands off me! Oh... It's you." Husk yawned, fixing his posture.

"How do you function?" you questioned, shaking your head like a disappointed parent.

"Hey! Did you even have anything important to tell me?" the grumpy bartender demanded while picking up an empty wine bottle from the floor and tossing it to their glass collection. "Alastor's been getting pissy since Lucifer's invited to the party too. Gotta deal with his attitude somehow", Husk said, opening a new wine bottle.

"He seems about the same to me", you raised a brow. You had always found the Radio Demon fascinating. You liked analyzing him, watching his behavior and wondering what was going on inside his genius-like mind.

"Are you serious?" Husk crashed the bottle on the wooden bar table. "I mean... I know him fairly well. He's been more sarcastic. He keeps to himself a lot... Not even sure if he's joining the party."

"I will take it personally if he doesn't join", you said stubbornly.

"Well good fucking luck convincing him to join the party", Husk raised his wine bottle before taking a huge gulp. Rolling your eyes, you walked to Alastor's radio tower.

Usually no one even dared to think about entering his precious radio tower. But you were stubborn. The party wouldn't be the same without the hotel's charming host. You opened the door to the tower, your head peeking in the dim room. Alastor's shoulders immediately tensed as you opened the door.

"And now to take a quick break! We'll be soon back with more murder stories!" Alastor spoke with his usual static voice, speaking in his staff. Then he left the staff leaning against the table. Standing up and turning on his heels, he turned to look at you. "Yes, my dear?"

He smiled widely as usual, but the positioning of his eyebrows revealed his annoyance.

"Oh come on, you love seeing my face", you stepped inside the round room, crossing your arms and leaning against the wall. "I heard that you won't be joining the Halloween party. I'm here to change that."

"Well, might I ask you who told you nonsense like that?" he pretended to be wondering, his movements theatrical.

"Little birds sang", you smirked. "I take that you will be joining after all?"

"Of course! What would everyone say if I didn't?" he smiled widely.

"That's what I thought", you got ready to leave.

"My my, it's like we share a brain cell!" Alastor joked, his eyes meeting yours.

"Charming", you said. "Oh, and I do expect you to have a costume." You left the tower, smiling.

The night and day before the party you basically spent your whole time in the kitchen, preparing the food with Nifty. You even had given Husk a recipe for a spooky "bloody punch".

"We could say that the punch was right from Hell!" Angel joked. "Pun intended."

"That's terrible, since when did you become a fan of dad jokes?" you playfully criticized, placing the food on a long table.

Alastor suddenly appeared behind you, startling you. "Well, maybe I inspired him, ha ha ha! I hope that 'bloody punch' is made form actual blood!" he cheerfully exclaimed.

"FOR THE LOVE OF CARNAL DESIRES- Alastor! that better be the last time you sneak up on me like that!" you snapped, almost dropping the spider muffins.

"Now now, there's no reason to get all upset, darling", he said with a composed tone. He watched you place the muffins on the table. Giving him a final glare, you announced that you would be change in your costume now.

You strode towards your bedroom which was the last room of the left wing. A nice, private room with a window view to the hellish garden.

Over the years you had been trying different Halloween costumes. The cute pumpkin, a sorcerer, a ghost... You even had that "sexy cat" or "hot nurse" phase in high school. But this party was different. This called for a special outfit.

The party was going great! A lot of people had showed up, actually. Nifty, in her adorable pumpkin costume, was constantly making sure that there was enough food for everyone. The guests also kept Husk busy. Charlie and Vaggie had landed on a couples costume. The pair was standing at the door, welcoming everyone.

"Husk! Give me another drink!" Angel made his way to the bar.

"Sure what do you wan- What the hell are you supposed to be?" Husk stared at Angel's costume.

"What? This is my most trusted condom costume! We've been through it all", Angel defended his costume choice. "I feel rather sexy in this bad boy", he winked an eye.

"I'm a condom too", Cherry Bomb walked next to Angel, wearing a pink condom costume.

"This is gonna be a long ass night..." Husk muttered to himself as he poured the two a drink.

Lucifer, dressed as a medieval king, was acting charming as usual, attempting to advertise his daughter's hotel to anyone who would listen.

Alastor was watching the party unwrap. He leaned against the staircase, humming alone. He was wearing an old tux and one of those large hats, presenting a gentleman from the times of past.

As you walked down the stairs, Alastor turned around, his sinister smile glowing in the dim light.

You had really done it this time. You were wearing the corpse bride -inspired outfit. You carried an old bouquet, a long veil covering your lovely face. Your hair curly, your makeup mimicking a dead body. You had used unique magic to make the fabrics and the flowers glow, creating a ghostly aura around you.

You had your "walking downstairs to him", moment, something you didn't think you'd ever have. You walked slowly, making sure that Alastor would admire your outfit. Some sinners nearby Alastor also turned their heads to catch a sight of you as you walked towards Alastor, greeting him with a smile. You felt so beautiful, so desirable.

"I see you got all dressed up. Suitable for a gentleman like you", you pointed out. You shamelessly ran your eyes up and down, admiring his attire. He chuckled softly.

"Oh please, you flatter me! I must say, you look rather... Ravishing tonight."

"Thank you for your male-validation", you say with a smirk. "Enjoying the party from afar? Don't you want to greet Lucifer?" you teased.

His smile faltered a little. "Ha! No!"

"I'll see you around, Alastor", you say, walking into the crowd. You greeted Rosie as she walked towards Alastor. Rosie looked lovely in her witch outfit, the sharp pointy hat covered in fake spider web.

Your eyes scan the eyes. Okay, there was still enough food... Husk seemed to manage at the bar... Vaggie and Charlie had finally welcomed everyone in and were now mingling with Lucifer... Nifty was in the kitchen, carrying more plates on the table. She walked closer to the dance floor. Angel and Cherry were there! Wearing... Were those condom costumes?!

You curiously walked closer. "I see two condoms."

"You like our costumes?" Angel asked, dancing with Cherry. "Sexually transmitted diseased are afraid of us!"

"Very fitting for Halloween", your voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Slimy men are also afraid of us!" Cherry yelled over the music.

"Right", you say slowly before joining them, dancing as the violet and orange lights flashed over the dance floor.

The party was thriving, at some point, the music slowed down to a more romantic tone.

You watched Vaggie, dressed as Shrek, and Charlie, dressed as princess Fiona, dance slowly. You noticed other couples sharing an intimate dance while a romantic goth song was playing.

Even Nifty was dancing with a small sinner! Your single ass was now mentally facepalming as you just stood there like an idiot. Soon a large hand was placed on your shoulder. You glanced behind, seeing Alastor stand there with a wide smile.

"May I dance with you?" he grinned, offering a hand.

"Are you April? Because March can't but April May."

He barked out a laughter at your silly joke. Taking your hand, he led you further to the dance floor.

You didn't even have to to anything, he just led the dance, moving you around as she spoke: "You know, I did expect this party to turn out a bit more chaotic."

"You wanted this to fail, didn't you?" you ask.

"Mph. Mmaybe", he said mysteriously. "The night is still young."

"Alastor, if you ruin my party-"

"Hush now, no need to pout like that", he warned with a teasing tone. "Let's make a deal. I won't ruin your party if you-"

"NO! No deals", you refused.

"Very well", he forces himself to smile. Alastor continued dancing with you, enjoying your company as the music played.

The party was reaching its end as some of the guests left home. By the end of the night, only the hotel staff was left downstairs. They all sat on the sofas, telling scary stories.

Angel held a flashlight in front of his mouth as he spoke: "And then it was revealed... That they were out of cocaine!"

"My my I can feel that in my spine", Alastor put his hand over his chest, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Very scary indeed, I'm not sure if I can sleep tonight", you rolled your eyes. "Okay! My turn", you take the flashlight from Angel. You spoke in a deep, slow voice: "The legend says that a creature calls the dark forests its home... It rarely exists the forest. But on a Halloween evening, the creature was hungry for carnage. The creature made its way through a village to a larger city..."

A chilly breeze made it's way in the living room through the open window. The candles flamed out.

Vaggie and Husk were acting tough, as Charlie instinctively moved closer to Vaggie. Angel's mouth hung open in anticipation. Cherry Bomb, in her pink condom costume, was munching on the leftover popcorn. Nifty found comfort inside her pumpkin costume. Alastor just sat there with a nonchalant smile, waiting for the story to progress.

You gazed around the room before continuing. "The creature had heard of this hotel. on a hill..."

Nifty gasped.

You smiled wickedly before continuing. "There must be many demons and sinners to feed on, the creature thought. The creature crept in the yard of the hotel, observing. It had bright red eyes that peered into the windows. It was the middle of the night, so everyone was fast asleep. This was almost too easy for the creature-"

Charlie then let out a loud yell, pointing at the open window. "THE CREATURE IS HERE!" Charlie basically wrapped herself around Vaggie, who also looked out the window.

Indeed, a pair of glowing red eyes were staring at them.

"DOES ANYONE HAVE HOLY WATER-" Angel yelled, looking at the red eyes. "I bet Sir Pentious would have holy water! He's the one who got redeemed!" Angel spoke rapidly as he panicked.

"It's probably nothing-" Husk said, trying to calm himself down if anything. Then the creature suddenly revealed it's sharp teeth. "Holy shit!"

Nifty, climbing on Alastor's hat: "AARRGGGHH!"

Cherry Bomb was choking on her popcorn. The whole room was in chaos. You just sat there. You just wanted to tell your made up story about a random creature and now there was one, staring at them from the open window. Had you finally discovered your unique powers and summoned a creature from the depths of Hell?

Naturally, the only one who wasn't panicking, was Alastor. He had a very unimpressed smile on his face as he saw how the others panicked, though he couldn't deny it; he found their panicked faces a tad amusing. Alastor sneakily grabbed the flashlight from your hand and pointed it at the so-called creature.

"Take the light of Jesus!" Angel yelled.

The creature hissed as Alastor pointed the light at it.

"Goddammit put that light away!" a familiar manly voice snapped.

You hastily stepped closer. "V.... Vox?"

Vox's screen was there, his mouth twisted and eyes closed. "Dammit! Quit with the light!"

"Indeed, seems like the little picture box has been spying on us", Alastor said with a wide smile, but his eyebrows furrowed.

"I wasn't spying!" Vox defended himself.

"Sure, you were just hanging out behind our window for no reason", Vaggie crossed her arms.

"Didn't anyone ever teach you that gatecrashing is rude?" Alastor teased.

Angel was holding in his laughter as Alastor scolded Vox, sneakily taking pictures of Vox's embarrassed face.

Vox was about to defend himself as Alastor scolded him. But Vox's eyes were drawn on Angel and Cherry Bomb, on their condom costumes to be specific. Vox: "What the hell are you guys supposed to be?"

"Condoms, you silly", Angel responded, his voice teasing. "Or do you even know what those are?"

Vox got all flustered. "O-of course I do!"

Cherry Bomb: "Sorry, we don't have the size XS tho."

Angel, Cherry Bomb, and you laughed at the joke while Vox's irritation became even more evident.

You looked at Alastor, a smirk playing on your lips. "Looks like you have someone to deal with. See, you got some action too", you winked an eye as you and the others left Alastor to have a little "chat" with the TV man.

Everyone fell asleep while Alastor was loudly scolding Vox. Alastor's demonic shadow tendrils would every now and then flash behind the windows. Sometimes the shadow tendril would hold Vox's body, as he soared through the chilly air. Vox screamed like a little boy while Alastor's gruff voice continued with the insults.

"To appear in front of MY hotel... I won't let you harm anyone here... I will broadcast your screams live..."

Perfect, you thought. Falling asleep on Halloween night was perfect while listening to the agony of someone. The green light illuminating through your window every now and then created a calming energy. You felt protected. Letting your eyelids close, you gave yourself to the world of dreams.

[everythingisawayoflife]

random dead poets headcanons - modern au

i feel like all i do is crank out headcanons and not actually write (even though i definitely have a dps fic that needs updating…) anyway heres dps headcanons

i always start with neil and i think its cause he’s my baby and i like to think i just #get him anyway - neil love gilmore girls. a lot. i know next to nothing about gilmore girls so i couldnt tell you who his favorite rory boyfriend is but he will die on the hill that lane and dave deserved to be together

knox has run through the most phones because he always drops them in the toilet - he keeps loads and loads of rice, not for eating, but just in case he needs to make a last minute apple genius bar to fix his phone - its worked like 25% of the time

meeks works at a barnes and noble. he clocks so many hours there because he just loves working there. his barnes and noble has two floors.

neil and ginny host the tonys watch party every year. its one of those things thats always a fever dream. the best but also worst party was the 2017 tonys when great comet was up against dear evan hansen. if you so much as mention great comet to either of them, they will either devolve into crying, longwinded ranting, or put the entire album on and explain it to you

charlie is a gleek. a diehard gleek. he relates to santana on a spiritual level and can quote the iconic santana/quinn hallway fight verbatim in his sleep as well as her rant to kurt

todd has the job stability comparable with trish from austin and ally. he only gets a steady one when meeks recommends him for barnes and noble. they work all their shifts together. its incredible.

the poets have a quizbowl team at their favorite bar - each of them have their knowledge strengths and they have an ongoing win streak of four weeks (which at their bar, the prize is free drinks. so. do with that what you will)

pitts is an avatar: the last airbender purist (i mean who isnt tbh) and self-identifies with the earthbenders

cameron becomes THAT film nerd who swears tarantino is his god and that pulp fiction is the greatest movie of all time but he doesnt actually believe that - his favorite movie is the obscure animated film “we’re back! a dinosaur’s story” (1993)

[petals2fish]

Genius

Summary:

After Lily breaks her iPhone, she finds herself at the Genius Bar on Valentines Day, and an old flame is there to help her in all things technology and romance.

read on A03

Marlene McKitten: babes you're missing out on blackberry margs!!

Lily Evans: I’m sorry! It was the only time I could schedule a time for my phone to get fixed!

Marlene McKitten: you just hate me, its okay, you can say it

Lily Evans: you’re a drama queen, Marlene McKinnon 

Marlene McKitten: you love me anyways…find me a hot date at the apple store so I can get discounts!!

Lily Evans: if I find a hot guy he’s mine for the night

Marlene McKitten: further proof that you hate me 

Lily Evans: I’m here. … Pray this doesn’t take five hours and I can come meet you for drinks. 

Marlene McKitten: how hard will it be to replace a screen? … I bet I could do it myself with youtube and a little superglue

Lily did not reply back to her friend, she didn’t have the heart to tell Marlene that superglue and youtube weren’t the answer for everything. Even if superglue had proven effective at keeping Lily’s favorite mug together after it broke in the dishwasher. 

Lily just couldn’t believe she was spending her free time at the Apple Store because she'd somehow cracked her phone screen. In all her years of owning a phone, of course it would be the most expensive phone she’d ever had that broke. Even her flimsy flip phone had been more sturdy than her iphone. 

“Hi, are you here for an appointment?” A scrawny kid about her age asked, holding the iPad too close to his face as he approached her near the front doors.

Lily nodded quickly. “Yeah, Lily Evans, for a screen repair.”

“Gotcha.” The kid's nametag read ‘Peter,’ and he barely looked up at her as he typed away on his screen. “I checked you in; just go wait at the Genius Bar.”

“Thanks.”

Lily maneuvered around the cramped store, sighing all the while as she made her way to the Genius Bar. It was rather depressing to be alone on Valentine's Day, but it was almost extra disappointing that she’d had to skip lunch with her girlfriends to come here. Lily couldn’t believe she was missing out on the tacos at Casa Grande, a tradition that went all the way back to Uni. She nervously picked at the crack on her screen, most annoyed that she’d somehow forgotten to add the screen protector when she got her new case two months ago. Another sigh escaped her lips before she finally took a look at her surroundings.

There were three boys at the counter, each of them so different from the other. The first, on Lily’s left, was a bloke with a leather jacket, emitting a touch of emo metal head from his persona. The one on the right definitely looked like he belonged at the Genius Bar in the Apple Store, thanks to his perfectly pressed sweater vest and nicely combed hair. The man leaning against the table opposite Lily, typing into his iPad, was a sporty-looking bloke wearing slacks with a rumpled button-down shirt.

She thought to herself, Actually, no, that sporty bloke looks really familiar… Oh. 

It hit her like a freight train. 

She couldn’t remember his name for the life of her, but he’d somehow gotten hotter in the year since they graduated from college. It’d been almost that much time since they’d danced at a party, stumbled up the stairs to his bedroom, and he’d fucked her on his bed. Not even a quick go. No, she had woken up in his bed to find his arms around her, her clothes all over the room, and her phone dead from going all night without a charger. 

He’d been such a gentleman when he woke up. He had practically stumbled over his words when he realized she was there, in his bed, naked with him. They had both been drunk, so even he admitted it had probably been a bad idea. They’d parted ways an hour later, Lily promising that she’d be okay to walk back to her dorm, and he had let her go so she assumed he really hadn’t wanted anything more than a once go in the sheets. 

More than once, she'd thought about this bloke, wondering what happened to him. 

His black hair was in a mess of waves around his head, and he didn't look up from his iPad as she stared in shock. She didn’t know what she’d say to him if they did make eye contact. The last thing she’d said to him was ‘thanks for the sex’ which somehow grew more and more embarrassing the longer she sat here and recalled it. She kept picturing his naked body in that bed in the morning. What would she say if he looked up right now and she was there remembering the contours of his body? 

Hi, I almost didn’t recognize you with your clothes on.  

She’d save that gem for later. 

Probably never. 

Lily felt disappointed as he walked away without looking up, disappearing through a door that likely led to the back. Her heart slowed in her chest, just slightly, but she felt like her throat was drier than the desert. She cleared it twice, earning a look from the guy in the sweater-vest, but he just went back to his task at hand.

Since the other two men at the Genius Bar were preoccupied, she took that to mean she was going to have to wait for help. She checked her Tumblr, finding nothing of consequence, just some idiots in her ask box telling her to eat dirt and choke on it. A usual occurrence on her blog thanks to internet trolls with nothing better to do than hate strong women like Taylor Swift and Captain Marvel. Lily was fully convinced people just liked to find something to complain about. She tried really hard not to complain or take anything a bunch of internet ghosts said to heart. She scrolled through her favorite Taylor Swift blog and saw there had been a new song mashup released. She wished she had brought her headphones so she could at least listen to the music while she waited.

London Boy crossed with This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things would be absolutely disastrous and she was here for it. She reblogged it for later, then exited out of the app, settling for people watching instead. 

Around her, couples were looking over new computers, AirPods, and various other electronics. All the girls wore really pretty dresses, and all the partners kept one firm arm around each other's waists. Lily’s dress was pretty too, and she played with the edges of the corset cut as she stared at the door through which the fit bloke had disappeared.

Had he spotted her and run? Did he remember her? Did he forget her? She wasn’t sure what would hurt her more, if he walked away because he saw her and remembered her, or if he walked away because he forgot about her.

Lily wasn’t a bragger, but she knew for a fact he had fun with her a year ago. She remembered enough of that night to know that he’d been really, really enjoying it. Not many men would get between her legs for her, and very few actually made her scream. No, he’d been one of two, and he’d been the best of all. 

Lily crossed her legs, trying to ignore the heat gathering on her face (and in other places) as she recounted that night. Sadly, her body wasn’t listening to her imploring thoughts. She felt like a damn animal in heat, the way her entire body was strung up, waiting for his reappearance. 

Beside her, the emo guy helping the old Lady change her voicemail sent her a sidelong glance randomly, and Lily felt a blush raise on her cheeks when his eyes grazed up and down her body as if he were checking her out. She didn’t drop his gaze, and instead offered him a smile. His gray eyes snapped back to the old lady and spoke to her in a smooth tone that didn’t seem the least bit flustered. 

She looked down at her candy-colored nails, the pink already chipping from scrubbing her hands too much at work. The phone on the table in front of her buzzed with a text from her girls' chat. Marlene sent a photo of a plate of tacos in the shape of a heart. Lily smiled and opened her phone, hearting the photo. As she did so, the grandmother finished her session and walked away, leaving the emo kid free. Lily looked up from her phone quickly, expecting him to turn to her, but instead, he had his back turned to her as he talked into his headset.

“No, I won’t stall for you—Prongs! Don’t argue with me.” He sounded stressed, as if whoever was on the other end was ruining his life. “Then get out here, you idiot.”

Whoever was on the other end was clearly addressing the whole store through that headset, as Lily witnessed the sweater vest-wearing, scrawny boy, and the long-haired brunette nearby all turning to send looks in Emo’s direction with raised brows. Lily couldn’t help but feel as if they were all looking at her too, despite her not being privy to the conversation happening.

“Hi,” someone touched Lily’s shoulder from behind, making her turn in surprise.

A baby-faced woman with bubblegum-pink hair smiled kindly. “Have you been checked in?”

“Oh,” Lily blinked owlishly, feeling stupid for thinking everyone was looking at her. “Uhm, yes, Lily Evans? Screen repair?”

“Our screen repair guy is stuck on the phone with a customer in the back,” she said cheerily, “but he should be out soon.”

“Oh, there’s a guy?” Lily said in surprise. “I thought screen replacements were kinda a universal genius bar thing.”

“Oh, we can all do it,” The girl’s name tag told Lily her name was Tonks, “but someone called dibs already.”

“Dibs?” Lily didn’t miss that Emo kid was cackling as he typed something into his iPad.

“Did I say dibs?” Tonks put a finger on her lips. “I meant he was assigned to you by the boss.”

“Who’s the boss?”

“He is.”

Suddenly, the door behind them slammed open, and a body stumbled out quite dramatically. Lily perked up at the sight of the familiar form. Sporty boy was back! His black hair was even more wild around his head, as if he’d been running his fingers through it non-stop since he’d disappeared. His glasses were skewed too, but it only made him so much more attractive, to see how flustered he was.

Tonks peered around Lily’s shoulder, her pink hair falling into her eyes. “Smooth entrance, Potter.”

“Thanks for holding down the fort, Nymphadora,” Potter said. “I can take her from here.”

Lily’s eyes traced his tall form, realizing it had been a long time since she’d been able to admire it. When her gaze returned to his face, her eyes met brown orbs that looked delighted to know she’d been openly checking him out. Lily’s mouth opened, but no sound came out. She brushed nervously at her red curls, biting her lip as James waltzed over to her at the bar, leaning against it so he was only a foot or so away from her.

“Hi,” his voice was smooth, like an ASMR streamer. “I’m James Potter.”

“Hi,” she almost choked on her own spit. “Hi.” 

James’ fingers trailed along the edge of the bar, casual yet deliberate, as he said, “I heard you rang for a genius?”

Lily’s mouth quivered when she heard Tonks sigh loudly. The emo guy slammed his palm against his head, as if James had embarrassed them all. Sweater vest physically gagged. James just kept smiling at her though, as if he could tell she was attracted to him regardless of his cheesy pickup lines. And it was true, she was. 

“I heard you are the only one in this store who can help me,” Lily flirted, watching his eyes light up at the challenge. “I had no idea you were so important.”

“Me either, to be honest.” He placed his chin on his hand, supported by his elbow against the bar. “What was your name again?”

Lily tucked her hair behind her ear. “Lily Evans? We met about a year ago at a party.”

His eyes seemed to sparkle as he replied smoothly, “Oh, I remember how we met, it was just your name that escaped me last year.”

The blush was uncontrollable now as she reached out a hand for him to shake. “It’s nice to see you again.”

“You have no idea how nice it is to see you again.” James’ grin grew wider. “And on Valentine's Day, no less.”

"I know how to make an entrance." She managed weakly. 

James' eyes were molten gold mixed with green flecks, "you sure do, especially in that dress." 

“Get a room,” the guy in the sweater vest muttered.

“How about yours, Remus?” James shot back, a bite in his tone.

Remus pretended to be interested in his customer's macbook in response. When Lily looked back at James, she felt a punch to the gut as she saw nothing but pure lust in his eyes. She could practically pinpoint where his mind had dropped, thanks to his eyes staring at her breasts, which were practically popping out of the corset cut top of her dress. 

“Like what you see?” She asked boldly. 

"Yes." He cleared his throat, and her eyes dropped to his mouth when he licked his lip and then curled the edges up to smile confidently.

Hazel eyes.

His eyes were hazel, and she’d forgotten that, so now all her memories were being replayed with coy hazel eyes that undressed her without even trying. He wasn't even trying to hide it, especially not right now. 

“Well, what can I help you with today?” James asked, breaking her concentration on his eyes. 

Dinner. She thought desperately. A quick go in the back of the storage room. Instead she offered, “I think I cracked my phone screen.”

James looked down at the phone in question. Lily picked it up, popping off the blue protective case in one fluid motion, before handing it to him. She fiddled with the case as he turned the phone over in his hands once. 

“And you’re sure it’s not just the screen protector?”

Lily shook her head no, “I tried to pull it off, twice, but couldn't get it, so I’m pretty sure I forgot to put the protection screen thing on when I got my new case.”

“Oh Lily,” James clucked his tongue, “always use protection.”

Oh, that was the wrong thing to say. 

Her brain immediately fluttered into the pit of her stomach with ideas of all the things they could do with protection. God, she hadn’t been so turned on since the last time he’d gotten her into bed with him…only this time it was daylight and she hadn’t had a single thing to drink. 

Pure thoughts, Lily Evans. She thought. He’s just a guy. A hot, cool, incredibly charming guy. Fuck it, I’m screwed.   

James casually picked at her phone screen, seemingly ignoring the desire flickering in her eyes as he remarked, “The glass shouldn’t stick up like that; I think it’s just a screen protector.”

“I really don’t think–”

Watching in mortification, Lily winced as he used his thumbnail to pry at the glass. Suddenly, a sound of unsticking reached her ears as he removed a screen case from her phone's actual glass. Redness flooded her face for an entirely different reason. She’d been a total, utter, helpless idiot for bringing her phone here.

It hadn’t been broken at all. 

“Oh my god,” she whispered, “Oh, no, no, no, no!! I am such an idiot.”

“No!” He quickly reassured her, “You’re not an idiot!”

Lily felt herself spiraling with embarrassment, realizing she just hadn’t pulled hard enough to separate the sticky tape from the glass. “I swear—I tried so hard—I thought it was the screen.”

His thumb brushed the side of her wrist in comfort, but instead of soothing her, it sent a wave of shame coursing through her stomach. “It’s an honest mistake; it was securely fastened.”

“Yeah,” she squeaked, noticing he had leaned closer over the counter, now mere inches from her face.

“Seriously,” he seemed so amused, and that only humiliated her further, “it’s fine, I won't even charge you.” 

She didn’t know if she’d ever felt more stupid, and in front of the hottest guy she knew, too. “I’m really sorry for wasting your time.” He searched her face as if seeking something within it. Lily withdrew her hand from his shyly and then grabbed her phone. “I’ll just go, thank you, um, bye.”

Trying to escape the awkward situation, she hurried out, acutely aware of the stares from those around them who had witnessed the embarrassing exchange. She slipped her unprotected phone under the strap of her dress and brushed her hair behind her ears as she rushed to her car in the parking lot.

“Dumb, stupid, idiot.” she muttered over and over to herself, repeating the whole scene in her head. “How did you graduate college with a science degree, but you can’t even pull a fucking phone condom off.” 

She reached her car in record time, the lingering sense of humiliation mingling with a cocktail of other emotions churning in her gut. Her plan now was simple: she would rendezvous with her friends at the taco place and immerse herself in a flight of margaritas. Maybe if she got intoxicated enough, she could erase this entire fiasco from her memory. As she finished flinging her bag onto the console of the passenger seat, she heard footsteps approaching from behind.

Turning abruptly, she was startled to find James from the Genius Bar standing there, a friendly smile gracing his features. “Hey, Lily.” 

“Hi,” she managed, her voice high-pitched from her embarrassment. 

HIs eyes dropped to the phone, precariously held between her pale skin and tiny spaghetti thick dress strap. “Why do girls stuff everything right there?”

Lily looked down at her phone and then back up to him, feigning tucking her hands into the folds of her dress skirt, “most girls clothes don’t have pockets–so we improvise.” 

“Interesting.” He then asked promptly, “Did you know that I worked here?”

“No,” she swore, as the wind made her skirts gather around her legs, “I swear, I had no idea.”

A light flickered in his eyes, “that’s a shame.”

“Why a shame?”

“I was hoping you made up that entire thing about the glass cracking just to talk to me.” He grinned. “But you genuinely thought it was broken, didn’t you?”

“You were hoping I was lying?” Lily blinked owlishly at him, “really?”

He lifted a lunchbox in his hand, smiling awkwardly. “I only have an hour for lunch; why don’t we catch up, and we can talk about what I was hoping for.”

“What?” Lily asked, not comprehending anything because her hormones were cheering excitedly.

“Sorry,” he tucked the lunchbox behind his back again, “did you not want to eat with me? I think I may have gotten mixed signals from you back in the store…”

“Eat with you?” she repeated. “ With you?”

“I know it’s been a while,” he was rambling, “I know we aren’t even like–friends–but you showed up and I–I nearly had a heart attack seeing you again. A heart attack in the good way–not a bad way. You are definitely good. All good. So good.”

Lily still had one hand on her car door, her chest rising and falling as she struggled to find the words. “I–I’m an idiot who can’t tell the difference between a screen cover and a phone screen…and you want to have lunch with me?”

James shrugged, “despite working at the genius bar–” Lily offered him a snort of amusement, “--I prefer idiots, don’t you?”

“You're not an idiot,” Lily said, motioning to all of him, “you’re–you’re that .”

“Eloquent,” his smile was so wide, his eyes crinkled at the edges. “But I’m 100% just as much an idiot as you.”

“How so?”

“I was an idiot for ever letting you go without a number to text you at.” 

She felt her stomach erupt with pleasant butterflies. “What?”

James looked down at her body, then back up at her eyes with a coy wink. “Truthfully, I've been wondering where you disappeared to for a year now and would really like to catch up. I’d also really love your number, for your working phone, just in case you ever need a genius to fix it again. Is that okay?”

Lily felt like she might be dreaming. She pinched her arm. It hurt. Thank god. “This isn’t a joke, right?”

“No,” James walked forward, almost flush with her person now. “I do love a good joke, though.”

“Really?” He was so close, she could count the tiny freckles dotting his tan nose. 

James' hand brushed her arm, sending shivers racing up it. “What’s the best book to read while eating breakfast?”

Lily felt a smile replacing her confused expression as she leaned up on her tiptoes, allowing his free hand to cup her chin. “What book?”

“Much Ado About Muffin.”

"You're right, you are an idiot." She rolled her eyes, but her tone was flirtatious, "a really, really cute idiot."

"They'll hire just about anyone to work the Genius Bar these days." 

Lily didn’t wait anymore; she grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him down, letting her lips muffle his laughter.

She could still feel his smile through the kiss though, even when he opened his mouth to taste her with an eager fever she had forgotten about. She kissed him back harder, especially when she heard his lunch bag fall to the ground near their feet, and both his hands grabbed hold of her long hair to keep her firmly attached. He tasted like mint gum, like he'd just been chewing it before coming to find her. Like he'd planned for this exact scenario to happen. 

She almost swooned at the thought. 

Finally, what felt like only a second later, he broke off the kiss. When her eyes opened, she saw nothing but him, and that only made her smile grow wider. His hands remained in her hair, but he tugged them forward to cup her cheeks, bringing the red strands with him. 

“So,” he said somewhat breathlessly, “lunch date?”

"What'd you have in mind?"

"Calling out of work, taking you home, and ordering pizza for a long movie we won't watch." 

Lily stepped forward, about to kiss him again for suggesting it, but then she felt her chunky heel step on something, and a resounding crack filled the air. Lily thought it might be the lunch bag he’d dropped, and for just a second she hoped, but whatever was under her foot was smaller. She looked down, face white, and all she saw were broken bits of glass under her heel. Her heart plummeted from its high as she stared down at her broken phone. 

“I broke my phone,” she realized, lifting her foot to show a screen in tiny bits and pieces. “Oh my god, I really broke it this time.”

James untangled himself from her and leaned down, picking it up carefully, and they watched as it disintegrated into multiple pieces in his hand. His eyes lifted from the phone to her. She stared back at him. Lily fell against her car, pressing her hands into her hair as she processed her disbelief. James' mouth was partially open, like she'd just stunned him to silence. 

“I can’t believe this!” she half laugh, half cried, while wiping her eyes. "I can't fucking believe this!"

Then, James doubled over with laughter, weeping from the irony of it all. Lily crossed one leg over the other as she laughed too, her head rolling back against her car. Passerby in the parking lot shared attempts like they were lunatics for laughing so hard. It only made them laugh harder.

"What am I going to do?" Lily cried, her side in stitches. "Oh god, I haven't even paid that phone off yet!"

"I can't believe you broke it!" James wiped the tears from his eyes, "oh my god, your luck!"

"Oh fuck," Lily pressed a hand to her forehead, "I don't know why I'm laughing, this is actually so bad, I need my phone for work."

James walked forward to plant a firm kiss on her mouth before reminding her, “Don’t worry, you know a genius who can fix it.”

~~~

+44 7123 456789: Lily??? Are you Alive??? Your bedroom doors been shut since yesterday?? have you even been home???

Lily Evans: holy shit I am so sorry, who is this? I have a new phone and forgot to switch my contacts over from the cloud

+44 7123 456789: ....Marlene....HOW BROKEN WAS YOUR PHONE??? It was a scratch the last time I saw it??

Lily Evans: funny story...

Marlene McKitten: where are you?!

Lily Evans: do you remember that one time I got super drunk at a party and woke up in a hot guys bed?

Marlene McKitten: ya...why?

Lily Evans: I'm currently in his bed right now 

Marlene McKitten: ??? get home right now or so help me god I'm tracking your phone and coming to you 

Lily Evans: save yourself a drive and meet us at the Genius Bar, he's taking me over there to fix my old computer I thought was broken. 

Marlene McKitten: ?????????????

[verdantglow]

Apple Staff Alignments & Other Notes from Retail Purgatory AU

Etho

Role: Genius

Alignment: True Neutral

Has been at this Genius Bar the longest (apart from Doc)

He's mostly here because he's good at it, they pay him well, & it's generally pretty tolerable. Plus it'd be like, a whole thing to find another job, & he's got other things he'd rather spend his time on.

At this point, he's gotten pretty good at slipping into work mode, so he's generally pleasant, if kinda unremarkable (in demeanor), if you get him for your appointment.

That said, he's very much doing just enough to stay in the managers' good graces & gets maybe a bit too much enjoyment out of seeing just how close he can get to that line.

Like he knows exactly how late he can be on how many days each quarter without getting official feedback & he will be late all of those days.

"Sorry I'm late for the team meeting, traffic was crazy out there!" [is obviously holding a full cup of steaming hot coffee from Starbucks]

So yeah, he's not the one starting shit, but he's definitely just gonna watch in amusement & not help if Doc's pissing off another customer.

Refuses to work any morning shifts ever. Schedule him every weekend day if you want, but if you tell him to show up for a shift before 1pm, you're going to be sorely disappointed.

Tango

Role: Genius

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Tango is an absolute fucking delight to have as your Genius. He's got this infectiously good energy & is just soooo hype to help you figure out whatever's wrong & show you like ten completely unrelated but very cool things in the process.

He is constantly going out of scope, doing software fixes & in appointment hardware repairs that he's very much not supposed to do. Not to mention showing off the most awesome accessories the store currently carries.

So his productivity numbers are abysmal & he's got the longest average appointment duration in the store (well. probably the local market, actually).

But he's also got hands down the best customer reviews. Plus all those $1.5k drones he keeps selling by flying them around the back of the store while in appointments.

Management has tried asking him to hand those customers off to a sales person so he can do tech stuff, but he always just says he couldn't do that because he was still in an appointment with them & he can't send people off without fixing their problems, can he?

& honestly, they really need his review scores to balance out Doc's.

Doc

Role: Genius

Alignment: Lawful Evil

He's been a Genius at the store since it opened & he transferred from being a Genius at a different location.

He has worked on pretty much every Apple product in the last couple of decades & remembers how to fix all of them.

Not that he's happy about it. He will bitch incessantly while doing repairs on newer iPhones & iMacs, spending the whole time complaining about the degradation of product design at this company. He'll do these more challenging repairs flawlessly, but he will not be happy (or quiet) about it.

He has the shortest appointment times in the store. It's part him being wickedly competent at identifying & fixing issues, part he just doesn't want to waste time in appointments with people with boring problems.

Not that his customers complain about the quick appointments. In fact, that's the only good thing they have to say in his reviews. Most of them are more about how he barely talked to them & when he did, it was to insult them, their problems, &/or their devices.

Doc'll routinely cherry pick customers out of the appointment list even though he's super not supposed to. Because if there's a problem weird enough to interest him, he will be taking that appointment.

He really doesn't actually need this job. He's been really into the stock purchase plan Apple offers for the whole time he's been there. He's got such an absolutely wild number of Apple shares at this point; he could sell some & retire & have plenty left over.

And yet. He's still there.

Impulse

Role: Genius Admin (Genius Bar/Repair Room operations plus miscellaneous other responsibilities)

Alignment: Lawful Good

When Impulse became Admin, management told him how the Repair Room & everything in it was his responsibility. What they meant was, "keep everything on track & the Geniuses in line." What he heard was, "okay you're basically Repair Room Mom, so take care of these idiots."

& he really took that to heart.

Like. Impulse can imagine every way that things can go off the rails & has plans for all of them.

He always keeps back stock of all the tools & consumable goods hidden somewhere in the store. Anything from sim ejector tools that everyone's constantly losing to those weird obscure tools used to fix the nearly unserviceble Mac Pros twice a year, you need it, he's got it somewhere.

While management expects him to enforce all the rules & tell them when they are broken, he is way more concerned with just holding the whole repair operation together. He's got so many irons in the fire as admin, he's not that bothered with rules that don't have an actual impact on getting things done.

However, he does remind them all about safety rules very often. You even try to touch the repair bench without being grounded, he will appear from nowhere to say that he knows you weren't about to do something that could brick a customer's device or start a thermal event. Because both of those involve a lot of paperwork that he's responsible for.

Tbh, he's actually pretty worried about their safety since things can go sideways fast with some repairs & either of those things would involve having to tell management. Okay, and he doesn't want do paperwork, but that's just because he's so busy keeping things going, he doesn't have time to get distracted by extra paperwork!

He works a lot of early morning shifts to do various inventory things & get things organized before the store opens. He's gonna be up anyway, might as well take the shifts no one else really wants.

Mumbo

Role: Genius

Alignment: Chaotic Anxious

Oh Mumbo. My sweet, sweet Mumbo. My anxiety baby. (I say as an anxiety baby.)

He's great with customers & at explaining things in ways that make people feel reassured, even if they have no clue how things work as soon as they leave the store.

However, he does get anxious easily when things are busy & the team is behind on appointments. So he gets sent back to do repairs when that happens before he flips out.

To be fair, he also gets flustered back there, which tends to lead to him trying to go faster & making mistakes that wind up making the repairs take longer.

But Impulse has a strategy worked out with Mumbo for when he's on repairs.

Because when Mumbo isn't flustered? He's the fastest repair person by a long shot, especially on iPhones. No one can perfectly replace as many phone batteries per hour as calm Mumbo can.

So when it's busy & there's a lot of phones to be done, the overhead lights go out with only the bench lighting on, classical music and ambient rain noises go on the speaker, & Mumbo works from a repair to do list that Impulse made just for him.

Seeing everything waiting to be repaired will just make Mumbo nervous & slower, so they decided that he only needed to see the next few at any given time. Impulse takes care of any priority rearranging that's needed on the full list & Mumbo puts on the blinders & only looks at the next three repairs & busts through a super human number of repairs.

(Even Doc is impressed. He just won't actually directly say so.)