#apostate on main

[thanatologie]

@roquenxnar - "The Circle was never about control. It was about fear."  dragon age starters / accepting

“I'm afraid that was incredibly insensitive of me.  I had, of course, heard of the appalling conditions of the Circle in Kirkwall, so your distaste and avoidance is…Understandable.”  Perhaps more than understandable; there had, of course, been rumors.  Whispers.  A passing about of sordid tales of the horrors that Kirkwall's Circle housed, and with Nevarra and the Free Marches sharing a border, and the (relative) closeness of Kirkwall to Nevarra City…Well.  There had been a small amount of unrest, wondering if it would spread, once news of the destruction of Kirkwall's Chantry had reached them.

And then, of course, that business with the mage rebellion, in the south.

Perendale had seen no small amount of trouble, but for the most part…The Grand Necropolis had operated normally.

“My experience with the Circle in Cumberland would likely offer no insight, but rebuttals, I imagine.  I was there but for a relatively short time, before choosing the Mourn Watch.”  

Where Templars are encouraged to leave Necropolis business to the Watchers, who are, by all accounts, far better equipped to deal with it.

[warrenwaskilledbyadeer]

Headcanon #2 time (I'll keep churning them out until I feel like a person lol)

I don't think Alexander is dead

I know how it sounds but think about it think about it

In Agrippa's Letter Regarding the Discovery of an Orb, he describes what it felt like to be consumed by the Shadow. "I could hear pleading screams in the distance and I joined in as pain and fear overtook me. I fell to the ground gasping for air." This sounds just like what happens to Daniel in the endings where he is consumed by the Shadow. But Agrippa goes on, "This certainly must sound strange, but I had been carried miles away across the Alps to a grassy field outside Genoa." So just like Daniel, Agrippa feels this all- encompassing pain as the Shadow consumes him, but then barely even a moment later from his perception he's back, he's alive again after existing in whatever limbo the Shadow holds you in until being spat back out.

Now, if you will, please listen to descriptions of people who are killed or attacked by the Shadow: "He was badly injured, as if maimed by a lion." "Limbs scattered, heads split down the middle, their skin flayed as if boiled." "Their skinless bodies torn apart." And indeed in the game the Grunt in the Sewers has been accordingly ripped to pieces

But this is not what happens to Alexander. Alexander seems to endure intense agony for a few moments before simply dissolving into blue light. This is something else Agrippa mentions in his account, "Suddenly a blue shimmering light engulfed me and the colors of the forest were washed away before my eyes." We don't see Alexander get ripped to shreds, or flayed, or boiled, or any of those things. He seems to be consumed in the same way Agrippa and Daniel both have been. Agrippa was consumed, and he's still alive. Daniel was consumed, and he's still alive (in the Agrippa Ending at least). And Alexander was consumed, so it stands to reason that he's still alive, stuck in the limbo of non-existence within the Shadow until somebody proficient with the Orbs has the Shadow spit him back out (like Weyer with Daniel)

[veilstricken]

❝ i do sometimes miss the dangerous dance of life at court ... though everyone knows it is the intrigue that highlights the experience, moreso than the party itself. ❞

He's thinking about it, though.

[supermarine-silvally]

Saw this going around and thought I'd do my own! This is my "canon" worldstate, though I actually have 5 Origins OCs and 2 main Inquisitor OCs lol

[lncarnon]

10. [thigh touch] - Your muse slides their hand slowly up my muse’s thigh, gazing at them the entire time to gauge their response. (your choice / muse roulette etc hehe)

He'd never indulged her, or her ladies. An amusing thought considering their line of work and his own place of power, one might assume his every visit was begot by the throes of pleasure, lust, and money. Yet, every single person who thought this would be wrong. Shay never went to see Melissa for the simple want of the body. No, his time spent within her place of business was strictly that, a partnership between the two of them, information for protection.

He kept the thugs at bay, and she told him whatever he wanted to know.

Their conversation had started much the same as it usually did. Idle talk of any changes to their lives, his fearsome adventures upon the seas, her irritation with patrons misbehaving. She moves closer, he thinks nothing of it. For a man who placed his faith in no one but the Order he certainly had become quite comfortable around Melissa. Enough so, that when she reaches out and places a hand upon him, he does not shy away from the physical contact.

Rather the action snares his attention and keeps it in a vice, whatever he'd been saying trailing off into silence as his eyes follow her motions. It'd been something that they had spoken of in his prior visitations, that he needs no payment, no favors, no bodily attention. Still, she seemed keen on testing the boundaries.

Flicking his attention upwards to meet her intense gaze as fingers creep ever higher, a smile tugs along the corner of Shay's mouth.

"Your pick of men and ya' still try t' choose me."

[muutos]

[ touch starved hug ] a careful hug given to someone after noticing some signs of touch starvation — hawke & cullen (:

HE TENSES, IMMEDIATELY. he hadn't wish to . . or, perhaps he does not even know what he might have wished to do, if he'd had the time to ponder it. however, he is so unused to physical touch or comfort, that he isn't quite sure how to accept it. GROWING UP IN THE ORDER, you learned early on that other than the boys who were also without family, NOBODY CARED ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL COMFORTS, OR DESIRES. and even that was far from promised. the chantry mothers and sisters were kind enough, however one does not hug them like they do their mother. AND IF THEY DO, THEY DO NOT DO SO FOR LONG. typically such fondness ends when you're old enough to put a sword in your hand, and begin your training. YOU SERVE THE WILL OF THE MAKER, NOW.. and even love will always come second to your vow. yet, he is no longer a templar.

"o-oh --" he clears his throat, and -- maker's breath, what is he doing with his bloody hands? HAD HE REALLY LOOKED THAT DESPERATE? he hardly thought so! perhaps a single touch to his skin had made him slack-jawed. HE DOESN'T REMEMBER, NOW. however his arms are slightly raised despite being somewhat pinned to his sides. HANDS ANGLED UPWARD AS FAR AS THEY WERE ABLE. although, some part of him yearns for something that feels more personal. FOR THEM TO NOT BE SEPARATED BY THE ARMOUR, so he could actually feel this phantom comfort offered by formerly hesitating arms. "i, ah -" he's stuttering, again. HE HASN'T REMEMBERED HUGGING ANYONE SINCE..

AND JUST LIKE THAT HE RELAXES INTO THE HOLD. gradually, as shoulders arch into the body attached to his own, and arms wrap around the other's midsection in turn. "i... well, i fear i don't know what to say, but i --" he he finds himself smiling, albeit beneath drawn brows, if one could believe it. HE'D HAD THE LUXURY OF BUILDING TRUST WITH HAWKE, BEFORE THIS. however, such pangs in his heart still exist. nobody knows of his past more-so, and the things which he was willing to do. THIS MAN DOES NOT OWE HIM ANYTHING. but still, he is here. he is offering him comfort, when he could have come into this much more negatively. and with all the reason in the the world to distrust him. "thank you."

@apostated. different ways to hug someone.

[drowningworms]

My personal take that that makes the most sense to me anyway, in light of all we know of history, scripture, context, God, and empires is this:

The Beast from the Sea is the representation of an empire's mix of Oppression/Colonialism/Capitalism

The Dragon-tounged Beast that tells the world to worship the first beast is the Empire's religion.

====================

Here's why:

For John of Patmos, that religion was a dragon in his future.

For us, we can look back upon the emergence of the Dragon-like Beast. We see an empire worshiping religion that twisted a beautiful, liberating story. Enslaving all the world to the Empire Beast and forcing them to worship the Empire Beast and approve or even join in on it's exploitation and oppression.

A dragon-like beast that eventually got reformed a bit here and there to become one of the most pervasive world religions today.

Forms of that reformed religion of empires and oppression are practiced all over this world. A more or less reformed religion also practiced with varying levels of reformation in America that most of us now just call "Christianity".

I wonder how reformed our dragons are.

[uchidachi]

Time to speculate wildly!!

Given that we’ve just been told that “yes, you can romance the companions you want” in Dragon Age Veilguard, plus we have that concept art that could be the main character + 7 companions…

[blueiscoool]

Ancient Roman Bridge Discovered at Elefsina, Greece

A Roman-era bridge was recently discovered in the ancient city of Elefsina, west of Athens during works for a suburban railway line.

The bridge was discovered by archaeologist Katerina Daskalopoulou and her team at a depth of just one meter below the surface close to the center of the modern city.

The team is currently examining the site to determine when the bridge was built and how it survived almost intact for over two thousand years.

Roman Emperors and ancient Elefsina

The ancient city of Elefsina, also known as Eleusis in ancient times, is a city in Greece with a rich history dating back thousands of years. It’s most famous for the Eleusinian Mysteries, ancient rituals and ceremonies dedicated to Demeter and Persephone, which were among the most important religious events in ancient Greece.

The city itself was strategically located on the fertile plain of Thriasian, about 18 kilometers northwest of Athens. In addition to its religious significance, Eleusis was an important center for trade and politics in ancient Greece. It played a role in various conflicts and alliances throughout its history, particularly during the Persian Wars and the Peloponnesian War.

The Eleusinian Mysteries, however, remain its most enduring legacy. These rituals were celebrated annually, and participation was believed to bring spiritual benefits and a hopeful afterlife. The secrecy surrounding the Mysteries has left much of their details shrouded in mystery to this day.

During Roman times, the city continued to be an important religious center, particularly for the Eleusinian Mysteries, which were embraced and supported by Roman emperors. The Romans, known for integrating Greek religious and cultural practices into their own, not only preserved but also enhanced the significance of the Eleusinian cult.

Several Roman emperors were initiated into the Eleusinian Mysteries, including Hadrian, Marcus Aurelius, and Julian the Apostate. Their support helped maintain the sanctuary’s prestige even as Rome dominated Greece. Hadrian, in particular, was a great admirer of Greek culture and contributed to Eleusis with construction projects.

Under Marcus Aurelius (161–180 AD), Eleusis saw significant renovations, including the construction of the Roman Triumphal Arch at the entrance to the sanctuary.

The Greater Propylaea, an impressive Roman-style gateway modeled after the Acropolis Propylaea, was built. The Telesterion, the main hall where the sacred rites were performed, was further developed.

In 2023 the ancient Greek city celebrated its ancient past by being nominated the Culture Capital of Europe.

By Tasos Kokkinidis.

[captainjonnitkessler]

I understand if you want to stay out of it but I’m curious as to you’re thoughts on this discourse

https://www.tumblr.com/dappercat123/737173649266737152/your-arguments-sum-to-in-my-perfect-world-there

Anon, I'm going to be entirely honest with you. I have been waiting for an excuse to put my thoughts about this down. Forewarning that this is going to be long and take a dim view of organized religion.

TL;DR: I think everyone in that thread is maliciously misinterpreting evilsoup's point, which is basically that they think Gene Roddenberry was right about what a post-utopian society would look like re: religion. And you can agree or disagree about whether a post-religious utopia is likely or desirable, but to say that anyone who thinks it is is actively calling for and encouraging genocide is a gross misuse of the term (especially coming from at least one person that I'm pretty sure is currently denying an actively ongoing actual fucking genocide).

@evilsoup can correct me if I'm misinterpreting their points, but as far as I see it there are two main points being made:

A) In a perfect utopia with absolutely no source of oppression, marginalization, or disparity, religion would naturally whither away with no outside pressure being applied.

B) This would be a good or at least a neutral thing.

As far as A) goes - a lot of the responses evilsoup got were basically "well *I* would never choose to be nonreligious, so therefore the only way to create that world would be by force, and therefore you are calling for literal genocide". But aside from the fact that evilsoup was very, very clear that they thought this would be a *natural* event and that trying to force people to be nonreligious would be evil - we're not talking about (general) you. You can be as religious as you want but you don't get to make that choice for your grandkids, or your great-great-great grandkids, or your great-great-great-great-great-etc. grandkids. Just because religion is an integral part of your identity doesn't mean it's something you can pass down, and if you're not comfortable with the idea that your kids might choose to leave your religion, you shouldn't have kids.

I personally don't foresee religion disappearing entirely, but it is pretty consistent that as a country becomes happier, healthier, and wealthier, it also becomes less religious. Religiosity is inversely correlated with progressive values. And the more democratic and secular a nation is, the less powerful religious authorities become - In the 1600s blasphemy and atheism were punishable by death* in Massachusetts and today I can call the Pope a cunt to his face** on Twitter with no repercussions whatsoever. Political secularism is an absolute necessity for true democracy and it necessitates removing power from religious authorities, which has and will likely continue to lead to a decline in religiosity - not just a decline in how many people identify as religious, but also a decline in how religious the remaining people are.

*Blasphemy laws and death penalties for blasphemers/apostates are still VERY much a thing in many places. It's hard to see a path where those places become more democratic but don't become more secular and repeal those laws.

**Well, to the face of whoever runs his Twitter account, but the point remains.

I also believe that many religious communities have been held together for so long via coercion - either internal coercion like blasphemy and apostasy laws, shunning, and threats of hell or other supernatural punishment, or external coercion like oppression from the majority religious group or ethnic cleansings. In a perfect utopia, neither form of coercion would exist and I don't think it's crazy to think that religiosity would drop severely and become a much less important part of people's identities, in the way I think the queer community would not exist in a world where queerphobia didn't exist.

ANYWAY, all this is actually kind of moot. It could happen, it could not, nobody is calling for it to be forced so we'll just have to wait and see. The real point of disagreement is on B).

I'm gonna be honest - I think a lot of the responders are rank hypocrites and are really hung up on the idea of cultural purity, which is something I'm wildly uncomfortable with.

First of all, the idea that a deeply-held religious belief could be diluted until it's just a cultural thing that nobody really remembers the origins of isn't some evil mastermind plot evilsoup is trying to concoct, it's just how cultures work. There's tons of stuff about American culture that are vaguely rooted in what were once deeply-held beliefs and are now entertainment. Halloween is rooted in sacred tradition and now it's a day to dress up and get candy. Christmas is one of the most sacred holidays in Christianity but nobody bats an eye if a non-Christian puts up some lights or decorates a tree just because it's fun. I have no doubt that every culture on Earth has traditions that used to be deeply sacred but are now just fun family traditions. People in Japan use Christian symbology as an "exotic, mythical" aesthetic the exact same way people in the West use Eastern symbology. And if you're okay with it happening to Christianity, why wouldn't you be okay with it happening to any other religion in the absence of oppression?

And there's the idea that if a culture fails to get passed down *exactly* as it is now, it's a terrible loss and the result of malicious outside influence. But . . . cultures change over time. No culture is the same now as it was two or five or eight hundred years ago and I don't believe that change is inherently loss. The things that are sacred to you may or may not be sacred to the people of your culture in the future. That's just the way things work, and I don't think it's inherently good or bad.

And finally, people keep accusing evilsoup of "just wanting everyone to assimilate to your culture", but it absolutely does not follow that a lack of religion means a lack of diversity. Different nonreligious cultures are every bit as capable of being diverse as different religious cultures, so it's weird to insist that evilsoup wants there to only be one culture when they never said anything to indicate that.

[elspethdekarios]

I have thoughts about Anders

So I just finished Dragon Age: Awakening (I’ve played through all 3 main games, went back to do the DLC) and I have so many thoughts about how different Anders is pre- and post-Justice sharing his body. I think part of this is the voice actor change in DA2, but his personality seems so different, too. Awakening Anders is sarcastic, always cracking jokes, mostly light-hearted even after everything he’s been through. DA2 Anders has moments like this, but he’s much more intense and brooding. Awakening Anders has a few lines about wanting to settle down with a pretty girl or have a plump wife waiting for him at home, but DA2 Anders is PINING. And with the time skip, it’s a slow burn. Awakening Anders doesn’t strike me as the slow burn type—he’s very flirty and even a little raunchy at times. But Anders in DA2 doesn’t really act like that. He’s got a tortured, romantic soul. He’s much more serious. And maybe it’s just because he’s grown up a little bit, but now that I’ve met Justice as a character before he and Anders become one, I wonder how much of that change is Anders maturing vs. Justice’s personality coming through.

I know this game has been out forever and I’m probably not saying anything new, but Anders is so fascinating to me. More rambling and dialogue analysis under the cut:

The very first thing that struck me as different about Anders in Awakening (other than his general personality) was his response to Wynne telling the Warden Commander that the Libertarians in the Circle want to pull away from the Chantry, and Anders says that it’s a recipe for disaster. SIR! WHO ARE YOU?

Awakening Anders also doesn’t seem particularly interested in justice for mages or revenge for how he and other mages have been treated. He wants his freedom, and I’m sure he wants freedom for other mages too, but he’s not exactly radical like he is in DA2. In fact, it’s Justice who seems to inspire Anders to, well, seek justice. I’m emphasizing some of this dialogue to analyze it below:

Justice: I understand that you struggle against your oppression, mage. Anders: I avoid my oppression. That's not quite the same thing, is it? Justice: Why do you not strike a blow against your oppressors? Ensure they can do this to no one else? Anders: Because it sounds difficult? Justice: Apathy is a weakness. Anders: So is death. I'm just saying.

Justice: I believe you have a responsibility to your fellow mages. Anders: That bit of self-righteousness is directed at me? Justice: You have seen oppression and are now free. You must act to free those who remain oppressed. Anders: Or I could mind my business, in case the Chantry comes knocking. Justice: But this is not right. You have an obligation. Anders: Yes, well... welcome to the world, spirit.

Now, look at this conversation between Anders and Isabela in DA2:

Anders: I don't know how you live the way you do, blithely ignoring the consequences of your actions. Isabela: This is about the Qunari thing, isn't it? I'm not ignoring it. I just recognize that it happened years ago. Isabela: There's this fantastic thing called "moving on." You should try it sometime. Anders: Has it occurred to you that Kirkwall is only just recovering from the Qunari attack? Isabela: And you want me to... what? Flog myself daily? Isabela: Has it occurred to you that maybe there's no justice in the world? Other than that voice you keep in your head.

Isabela sounds more like Awakening Anders than Anders himself does in this conversation. Justice accuses Awakening Anders of ignoring the oppression of other mages like DA2 Anders accuses Isabela of ignoring the consequences of her actions (for the record, I don’t think either of these assumptions are 100% true, but I digress). In Awakening, Anders is cynical when Justice tells him he has an obligation. What can he change? He has to worry about his own survival as an apostate before risking his life even more to save others. Hence the line “welcome to the world, spirit.” Anders is pragmatic, even a little pessimistic, where Justice is idealistic.

But then, the conversation with Isabela! Like Justice tried to convince Anders of his obligation to other mages, Anders now is trying to convince Isabela to take responsibility for her actions. She’s ignoring the unrest that was caused by her stealing the Qunari tome instead of doing something to help—just like Awakening Anders is ignoring his oppressor. 

When Anders and Justice merge, Anders starts to see the bigger picture, the oppression that reaches far beyond himself. From the short story Anders:

I always knew I wouldn't submit. I could never be what they wanted from me -- compliant, obedient, guilty. But before Justice, I was alone. I never thought beyond my own escape: Where would I hide? How long before they found me? Now, even that thought repulses me. Why should so many others live with what I will not? Why must the Circle of Magi stand? Just because it always has, just because those who read Andraste's words twisted them to mean that mages must be prisoners? Why has there never been a revolution? … They will all die. Every templar, every holy sister who stands in the way of our freedom will die in agony and their deaths will be our fuel. We will have justice. We will have vengeance. And suddenly I'm alone, standing in a burning forest, with the bodies of templars and wardens at my feet. So many, and I didn't even know they were there. Didn't even know I had killed them, but the evidence is all around me. Not the aftermath of a battle as I've known it, but a bloody abattoir of rent limbs and torn and eaten flesh. This is not justice. This is not the spirit who was my friend, my self. What has he become? What have I become? We must get out of here. There is no place for me in the Grey Wardens now. Is there a place for me anywhere?

First of all, ow, my heart. But the point is: before he becomes part of Anders, Justice doesn’t feel a personal connection to mages’ freedom—he only cares because of the injustice. But once he and Anders become one, the source of injustice that Anders cares about the most, that he has deep resentment for, that has caused him great harm, becomes Justice’s cause. We know that Justice can sense/feel memories of the body he inhabits because he remembers some of Kristoff’s past, or at least feels connections to certain objects or people even if he can’t explain it. Kristoff was dead, though, so those memories were only fragments. I imagine that with Anders, he can experience those memories more clearly, including, of course, the injustice he and others have suffered at the hands of the templars. Justice is able to integrate into Anders fully, whereas with Kristoff, the body was an empty vessel with remnants of the past soul that was within it. 

Now, let’s talk about where Anders ends and Justice begins, something that even Anders himself is unsure of. Here are some DA2 banters about the division (or lack thereof) between the two of them:

(Outside The Hanged Man, Act 3) Anders: Justice doesn't let me get drunk anymore. I kind of miss it.

(in Legacy DLC) Anders: I've tried to forget about this side of myself. Justice is... so strong. Sometimes the Wardens seem insignificant. But seeing that poor bastard brings it all back. The Darkspawn taint. The call of the archdemon. It's inside me, as much a part of me as Justice.

Anders: Justice once asked me why I didn't do more for other mages. I told him it was too much work. Anders: But I couldn't go back after that. Couldn't stop thinking about it. Anders: Sometimes, I miss being that selfish.

Varric: So, the knight-commander... Boiling in oil? That one never gets old. Anders: This is past time for joking. Varric: I'm helping you indulge in elaborate revenge fantasies. I think it's good for you. Anders: Meredith will die. Do not doubt that. Varric: Go away, Justice. Can Anders come out and play? Anders: [Justice voice] Stop. Varric: You are no fun anymore.

(if Anders was taken to the Fade) Anders: I have tried to avoid the Fade since Justice. It's disturbing when he takes over.

The above dialogues imply that Anders and Justice are two separate entities in one body. The one from Legacy is tricky, since he compares it to the taint, but he still refers to Justice as separate from himself, which is why I included it. And that’s not even touching on the fact that Justice has a different voice than Anders. But these:

Aveline: So you're two people, Anders and... Justice? Anders: That's not strictly accurate. Aveline: But you are of two minds. Anders: Many people are.

Isabela: Hello? Is Anders there? Can I speak to Anders? Anders: You can stop yelling. It's always me. Isabela: Oh, good. I didn't want to talk to that other guy. You know, the stick-in-the-mud. Anders: He can still hear you. Justice and I are one. Anders: Anyway, you wanted to talk to me? Isabela: Not really. I just wanted to make sure it was you.

(If Hawke convinces Anders to give up his plan) Vengeance: Leave! This does not concern you! Hawke: This is Anders's decision, not yours! Vengeance: I am Anders! You have given into sloth. You would stand by while mages are abducted and tortured. Go. Anders has no need of you.

There’s not a clear answer either way. And I didn’t expect to find one. I think a lot of this back and forth is Anders trying to understand who he is now that Justice is part of him. He clearly still feels like he has some level of agency and individuality apart from Justice, but he struggles with it. This feels very anticlimactic, but I guess that’s just the nature of it all.

If you read this far, wow thanks. Now to not leave off on a sad note, here are some DA2 banters that feel very Awakening Anders to me - please enjoy <3

Anders: I keep thinking I know you from somewhere... Isabela: You're Fereldan, right? Ever spend time at the Pearl? Anders: That's it! Anders: You used to really like that girl with the griffon tattoos, right? What was her name? Isabela: The Lay Warden? Anders: That's right! I think you were there the night I— Isabela: Oh! Were you the runaway mage who could do that electricity thing? That was nice... Hawke: Please stop talking. Now. (Or if Varric is in the party) Varric: I don't think I need to know this about either of you.

Anders: So, I never expected to be palling around with the captain of the guard. Aveline: We're not "pals." Anders: We're not? What about that time we painted each other's toenails? Aveline: Do you want something? Anders: Love, life, and liberty. What more does a man need?

Anders: Nice day to be planning a trip into the Deep Roads, don't you think? Anders: The Blight, the dampness, the festering darkness filled with tainted rats... Carver: Shut up. Anders: You've got a real chip on your shoulder, you know? Carver: I've got a big blade on my shoulder, magey. Anders: Right. Wonder what you're compensating for.

Fenris: Is there something you want, Anders? Anders: You really don't have the temperament for a slave. Fenris: Is that a compliment or an insult? Anders: I'm just wondering how your master didn't kill you. Fenris: How have the templars not killed you? Anders: I'm charming.

Anders: Is that supposed to be Andraste's face on your crotch? Sebastian: What? Anders: That... belt buckle thing. Is that Andraste? Sebastian: My father had this armor commissioned when I took my vows as a brother. Anders: I'm just not sure I'd want the Maker seeing me shove His bride's head between my legs every morning.

(All dialogue found on the Dragon Age fandom wiki.)

[iamafanofcartoons]

If you want to describe RWBY to your friends and get them to watch the show?Show them this.  Also? When they ask what is RWBY:  The name RWBY is derived from the four main protagonists' forenames: Ruby Rose, Weiss Schnee, Blake Belladonna and Yang Xiao Long, And their respective thematic colors (red, white, black and yellow).

For the description of the show: Imagine a show that starts out like Sailor moon, only weapon specialists instead of magical girls, but still women taking on roles typically held by straight white males. Then it evolves into action-adventure where the four gay female protagonists have to deal with the drama caused by a divorce between a religious wizard and his apostate witch wife. Also everything are guns and gay.

https://www.reddit.com/r/fnki/comments/14m59l6/telling_stories/

[lncarnon]

« i might get used to have you under me, you know? » (for Shay - maybe something happened and he just cushioned her fall but y'know :3)

He could feel his heart skip a beat, an unsettling feeling that mimicked dread and not something that often found itself nestled into his chest. She had tripped and in his attempt to save her from falling entirely, it resulted in the both of them landing onto the floor. Shay had twisted just enough that Melissa wound up on top of him so he took the brunt of the floor to his back. It was quite alright, really. He had spent so much of his younger years falling out of trees, off rooftops, that this short distance had been nothing.

Then she speaks, and the comment might have gotten Shay's cheeks a nice flushed pink had he still been just a young man. Instead he only allows a breath of a laugh to escape him and lays his head back against the floorboards. That sense of worry had been for her safety, and she seemed more than content despite what had happened.

"I won't argue, th' view from down here is mighty fine, if you are ever inclined to have it happen again."

[djarins-cyare]

I thought it would be harder to pick and then I saw "Be-All And Endor pegging bonus scene" and anyway here I am. 😍

Ahaha, I hoped someone would ask about this one from my WIP folder! 🧡💚

This is set several months after the main story ends. My plan was – and still is (eventually) – to write some random scenes from Din and Reader’s future in lieu of a sequel.

Several readers commented they would’ve liked to have read the scene in the final chapter where Reader tells Din to go shower and meet her in their cabin to cross off another item on their “things that’ll happen eventually” list, which suggests some type of ass play for Din, based on an earlier comment in chapter 37 where he indicates he’d be interested in trying it.

As usual, the smut slowed me down when I started drafting it. Honestly, I don’t think I know enough about pegging to adequately describe it, so I put it on the back burner until I could do sufficient research.

That said, when I got your ask, I went back and checked how much I had already written, and I realised I actually have a decent-length scene leading up to the smut… it just fades to black (again) when they’re about to start.

So, Kate, since it’s you and you definitely deserve a reward for all your cheerleading of Be-All (for which I’m forever grateful), I’ve decided to give you not just a snippet but the whole of the 1k+ word scene that I’ve got so far. I’m not posting it on AO3 yet – I’ll do that later once I’ve written the second half of it and converted the AO3 version into a series – so for now, please enjoy this Tumblr exclusive bonus content!

⚠️ Please note the following contains heavy spoilers for anyone who hasn’t read the original story!

Be-All And Endor Bonus Chapter (excerpt): The Solace

Rating: Mature (18+) Pairing: Din Djarin x Reader Word count: 1,150 Tags/warnings: References to sex, anal play, pegging (nothing explicit); brief reference to a past attempted SA; the dildo is referred to as a cock; some swearing and explicit language; one (1) Mando’a insult

You find the toy tucked away in the back of your drawer, hidden from prying eyes for weeks. Even though Din knows you acquired it before leaving Glavis, you’d insisted on keeping it a surprise until you could finally try it out.

But things had got in the way.

His painful Darksaber injury, worse than Nantoogen’s concussive blaster bolt on Endor. His discovery of that mythosaur marker in Kolzoc Alley, faded and ominous. His bitter disappointment at reaching the lowest level of the substrata and finding it empty. The thrill of uncovering hastily painted coordinates that revealed his tribe’s new location.

Just like that, your fun and games were on hold.

In the weeks since, everything that’s happened has overwhelmed you both – physically and emotionally – for better and for worse. The covert, the recognition of your union, your shiny new helmet… Din’s exile.

The Armorer’s final words and your defiant retort still ring tragically in your ears almost a day later, as if your helmet has trapped them there:

“You have not yet sworn the Creed; therefore, you are not an apostate. You may stay.”

“But I have sworn riduurok to Din Djarin and the gai bal manda to Grogu; therefore, I am a wife and mother. I am loyal to my clan and could never abandon them for a tribe that exiles one of its own despite his wish to atone. You taught me that loyalty and solidarity are the Way, and I will honour that. So, I thank you for your offer, but nariti lo’shebs’ul.”

You can still feel the sting of tears on your cheeks, still see Din’s dejected body stiffen as you told his alor to shove her offer up her ass. Amid the grief, you sensed a spike of shock – even pride – flicker within him for a fleeting moment.

Now back in hyperspace’s safe and superluminal embrace, you both need the relief of the release you’re about to partake in. But he needs it more.

He still hasn’t really talked. Not properly – not like you know he can. He’s been barely responsive, stiff, twitchy, and every subtle quiver speaks of his deep turmoil. Apostate. It’s an awful label. His inner storm has been yours to share through your connection, but you’ve resisted. You saw his need for solitude on Anantapar, so you’d granted him several hours alone in the cockpit – helmet on.

After several failed check-ins for food and comfort, it was to this suggestion alone that Din had responded. Once you’d assured him that Grogu was asleep in his cubicle, he’d immediately risen from his chair, awaiting instructions. You’d told him to shower and to meet you in the cabin without his helmet, where you’d unveil your purchase from Glavis.

Now, with a determined breath, you face the final hurdle: figuring out how to attach the damn thing.

You’d liked the look of the ‘strapless’ versions, but the vendor had advised that a strap would be best. More stability and a better experience for your husband, she’d insisted. Fewer distractions for you while it’s his turn, she’d winked. Fair point. You’re not sure you could concentrate solely on his pleasure with something nestled inside your pussy, rubbing your G-spot to distraction.

It takes a few minutes of fiddling, but you successfully secure the harness. It’s actually more comfortable than it looks.

You turn back to the drawer and run your fingers along the dildo’s length, marvelling at the silky texture. It cost a kriffing fortune, so it’d better be worth the credits. A snort escapes you at the thought that Nantoogen’s bounty reward paid for this. It’s almost poetic that the man who tried to sexually assault you has now purchased you your very own cock.

Once it’s nestled securely within the harness, you spend several minutes pacing around the cabin, watching it bob along in front of you. Kriff, you’re oscillating between nervous, curious, and aroused. It makes you feel… powerful.

You and Din have an established sexual dynamic, though, and he’s always in control, even when he’s seemingly not. He has also previously rejected the idea of using toys in the bedroom, fully confident that (for you, at least) he can do better with his own dick. But as much as he’s enjoyed taking your fingers in his ass on occasion, he’d eventually agreed that something more substantial would guarantee him a more gratifying time.

Given his general dislike of sex aids, you’d asked the vendor for a realistic dildo to match your skin tone, especially since you know he’s been attracted to men in the past. Hopefully, this will help him feel less like he’s having something plastic shoved up him and more like he’s enjoying someone’s body.

With the trusty Tatooine lube at the ready on the nightstand, you strip off everything but your bra and your new appendage, then perch on the edge of the bed and wait.

You’re so accustomed to every rattle on the Crest by now that even his bare feet can’t hide his ascent up the ladder, and your pulse quickens in readiness. You stand, wanting to present him with the full spectacle upon entry to the cabin.

Din steps through the door as it slides open, but he stops dead the second he catches sight of you. His uncovered gaze plummets straight down to your cock, eyes widening in surprise, brows rising in tandem with a sharp inhale.

He swallows, staring… staring…

You gulp, hoping… hoping…

And then you see it – the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth. It’s nothing compared to the wide grin you’re used to seeing on your husband’s face, but you reach out with your mind, trying to decipher that almost-smile. There’s still a heavy soup of grief, but there’s more now, too. Intrigue, anticipation… a hint of excitement. Sexual excitement.

“Do you like it?” you venture, gently steering him toward those positive feelings.

He swallows again and nods, still staring. “It looks… real.” Taking a careful step forward, he comes within touching distance yet still only uses his eyes. “I like how real it looks.”

A rush of relief pulses through you. Those credits were well spent.

With a grin, you comment, “Well, it doesn’t have balls, but I don’t need those to fuck you. My metaphorical ones are big enough.”

Din’s eyes finally rise to meet yours as he steps even closer, the smirk on his lips now more obvious, and you catch another spike of his pride over how you handled your exit from the covert. “I fucking love you,” he declares, pressing a hard, grateful kiss to your lips before pulling back abruptly. “Where do you want me?”

“On your knees, on the bed,” you command, knowing full well that this is an illusion of power he’s giving you. “I wanna see that tight little ass in the air.”

His smirk grows. “Yes, Sir.”

Mando’a translations, in case they aren’t obvious:

riduurok [REE-doo-rok] – marriage agreement

gai bal manda [guy bal MAN-dah] – adoption ceremony (lit. “name and soul”)

nariti lo’shebs’ul [nah-REE-tee loh-SHEBS-ool] – shove it up your ass

Notes:

“Trusty Tatooine lube” is a reference to the scene in the final chapter that I mentioned above – Reader picked some up before they left, which is why she suggested that particular activity as soon as they’d left the planet.

In case anyone’s forgotten, Din tells Reader in chapter 30 (after their shower sex) that whatever sex aids she used before he came along have no place in their relationship, indicating his general dislike of sex toys. I don’t think he’s a prude, but this version of Din has a preconceived notion that he needs to be the best lover he can be without any ‘cheating’. Reader could easily talk him into using toys on her, of course, simply by educating him a little better – just as she’s done regarding other things he’s been somewhat naive about. But here, she decides to respect his prior avoidance and give him an experience that feels as ‘real’ as possible. Perhaps this will help him realise that toys might be fun for her, too!

Reader also refers to having “seen his need for solitude on Anantapar”, which, as a reminder, refers to when he had a teensy bit of an emotional breakdown at the tail end of their honeymoon in chapter 38.

I adapted the lovely insulting Mando’a phrase from a previously existing phrase in Karen Travis’s novel ‘Order 66’ – Kovid lo’shebs’ul narit – which is supposed to mean ‘shove your head up your ass’, but the grammar is a little off. So I put the verb in the correct place and properly conjugated it, then removed the word for ‘head’ (it doesn’t need an object as she’s just said the word “offer”, so it’s clear what she’s talking about).

Holy crap, I’m scared now I’ve put this up. This is the first new Be-All content since July 2023! 😭 Fun timing, though, because I have another two Be-All bonus posts coming out in the next few days as the fic is about to hit a milestone, so stay tuned!

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[lincolndjarin]

Best Kept Secret

chapter twenty seven : the apostate

ao3 link ✿ series masterlist ☆ main masterlist ✧

pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader

rating : 18+ mdni

word count : 6.0k

summary : judgement day. (din's version)

warnings: language, angst, violence, gore, blood, torture, murder, death, ro makes things up about infection bc they're too scared to google it (what if there's gross pics??), din is morally grey at times, pregnancy

a/n: worked a ten hour shift, got home, made an iced coffee, hammered away at my anvil until this was written and edited. now it's bed time lol

Silence.

That’s all there is in his brain. 

It’s hard enough as is for him to hear. It doesn’t help when he’s been beaten half to death. All it had taken was a few firm punches to the side of the head and any remaining hearing in that ear was lost. 

It’s not looking great. Or sounding great, all he can hear is ringing as he hits the ground, hard. He knows someone is yelling at him but how the fuck is he supposed to know what they’re saying when he can feel a thin bead if blood dripping from his ear canal. 

He never manages to figure out what they’re saying but he gets the gist of it when his armor is ripped from his body. He puts up as much of a fight as he can manage, his efforts skyrocketing when they yank his helmet off, leaving him bare before a couple of guards. 

For the first time in his life he knows what it's like to have that choice taken away from him. 

And he cannot hide the fear and discomfort that come with losing his helmet behind a mask any longer. Thankfully he isn’t exposed for very long, per Kodo’s orders his face is to remain covered. Of course they go with the most humiliating option, a fabric bag thrown over his head. It’s somehow worse than being exposed, now he can’t hear or see. 

So there’s no warning for the beating that immediately follows his imprisonment. 

He’s been in countless fights through the course of his life but nothing like this. He’s never been unable to fight back. They restrain him and beat him senseless, and he can’t so much as hold his hands up in defense. 

And then they leave.

He has no way to tell the time. So he simply sits and waits in the emptiness that is his life now. 

Until someone new comes in to beat the shit out of him. 

It’s a horrific existence, to sit in the cold darkness, unable to hear an approaching threat until they’re actively upon you. He doesn’t know when it happens but at one point he loses all feeling in one of his legs, he knows he was cut there but he has no idea how bad it is. He spends his time trying to assess his wounds, he stretches out what parts of himself he can as he does his best to keep his blood flowing. 

And the entire time all he can think of is you.

He knows nothing of what’s become of you. He did everything in his power to ensure that you would be blameless but he has no idea if it worked, that itself is a worse torture than any of this. He’s in agony wondering if you’re down here in a cell receiving the same treatment as he is. 

☆

He didn’t think things could possibly get worse. 

Until the day when the footsteps stopped before his cell and the door to Elaine’s swung open instead. 

He heard most of it. 

Every wet, gory sound. 

He took his time with her, laughing all the while and when he was finally done Din called out to her. 

All he got in response was the faint, distant sounds of her agony. 

The next day he feared they had returned to finish her off when he heard the ear piercing screech of her door opening but Elaine’s screams turned to soft whines. After a while his own door shrieked open, it took him a while to realize who it was but after she repeated herself a few times he was able to make out the word Lysa and was able to relax briefly. She tried to feed him but he told her he was fine, despite the twisting pain in his stomach, he’d lost too much. 

His face is all he has left. It’s all he can cling to now.

She tries every day despite his protests but he doesn’t mind. He likes having someone to talk to, it helps his hearing when he can focus on one person speaking at a time. 

Then came the day where he felt hands on his chest and he tensed in anticipation of a hit that never came. 

It took a while to register and for a moment he thought it was a trick but he recognized the smell of you, and the familiar, gentle nature of your touches. 

You were an angel. 

Feeding him, being with him, loving him. 

He would have done almost anything for five more minutes with you when Lysa told you it was time to leave but he knew you couldn’t be caught down here, it just wasn’t safe, so he let you go.

And he found peace in the knowledge that you were unharmed. 

From that point forward he endured for you. 

Not in hopes that you would find some way to get him out, or that he might find his way back to you. He endured simply for you. For the idea that he might get to look upon your face one last time before he goes.

He had just about accepted his fate when Lysa came to him, unlocking his cuffs. 

“I messed with the shift schedule.” She speaks in a hushed whisper directly into his ear so he can hear her.

“What?”

“I messed with the schedule, for the next two hours there will be no guards, one empty window. I’m taking Elaine, gonna get her off planet.”

“Nevarro.” They’ll be safe there, maybe someday he’ll bring you to visit them. 

“Where is that?”

“It’s an outer rim territory, go there, find Greef Karga and tell him Din Djarin sent you.” 

“I will.” She presses the key into his palm. “You won’t get a second chance. Don’t waste this.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m not doing this for you.” It isn’t said with cruelty, it’s a fact. 

That’s okay, he’s doing this for you as well. 

And just like that she’s gone, when he takes the bag off his head he’s alone. Immediately he gets to his feet, nearly screaming in pain as he tries to figure out what his next move is. 

“Don’t waste this.” 

She’s right. 

He won’t get another chance, he can’t mess this up. 

If he leaves Naboo he knows he’ll never get you back. They will lock you away, you’ll be hidden in some tower making heirs for that monster, never allowed back in the public eye while the “dangerous” Mandalorian is free. 

That’s his reasoning. He tries not to think too hard about the other aspect of running away. 

That you might think he left you. 

Finding you and taking you with him sounds like a good option but when he really thinks about it he realizes the risks are simply too high. 

If they realize he’s gone and you’re gone before you can get on a ship they’ll close every port on Naboo, you’ll be trapped on this wretched planet and hunted like animals. 

It wouldn’t matter much anyway, getting that far would require him being able to run. With the condition he’s in he isn’t even sure he can walk. It takes some work, and a lot of biting his own fist to silence himself but he manages to stumble across his cell. 

So running isn’t an option. 

And he can’t leave you. 

He promised himself he would never leave you again, he stayed when you told him to go, he stayed those four days of waiting, and he’ll stay now. 

But he has to be smart, and he has to be lucky. 

So he sits back against the wall, sliding his wrists back into the cuffs, leaving them unlocked.

And he waits. 

☆

He can’t make out much of what the man is saying but he recognizes the low, gravely timber. It’s the same man who’s tormented him several times but more importantly it’s the man who hurt Elaine. 

The bag is ripped off of him and he can’t help but light up at the sight of only one man. 

He can handle one man. 

He’s weaker than usual, and he isn’t expecting it when his mouth is forced open, a knife slicing into his tongue. 

It’s more difficult than it ever has been to fight, every muscle and injury screams for him to stop but he still manages to get the man on his back, from there all he has to do is slam his head into the stone. 

It’s been a long time since he had to kill someone. 

He thought it would feel worse, he’d be lying if he said that being around you hasn’t softened him up. But he feels fine, almost accomplished. He’s one step closer to you. He drags the body to an open cell a few down from his, taking the man’s uniform he dresses himself and takes his own clothes, tossing them back into his cell as he moves as fast as he can with a barely working leg. 

The guard's uniform fits but the man's skin is significantly paler than Din’s, he’ll never pass as him. 

“You won’t get a second chance.” 

Walk and think. 

Think of a plan on your way to it. 

He marches out of the dungeons, every step is agony, and his mouth continues to bleed as he tries to think of people he wouldn’t mind killing who wouldn’t raise any eyebrows. 

The answer comes to him while he’s rubbing the raw skin of his wrists. 

He’s known since he started working here just how shitty the security is. Even in his current state it’s rather easy for him to sneak into the guards station at the front entrance of the castle. It’s even easier for him to search through their bracelet database and find out exactly where the bastard is. 

He wasn’t sure why he planted the bracelet on him that day in the market, a small part of him always did want to go back and find him, maybe teach him some manners. It was easy to slip the tracker into his bag, he even truly considered killing him at one point just to send a message to any one else who might try to touch you but you wouldn’t have wanted that, so he let it be. 

He hopes you won’t be too mad. 

He simply finds the tracker labeled ‘Mandalorian - LOST’ and memorizes the location, thankfully it appears to be in a residential area just outside the castle. He takes one extra moment to search through a few extra files, when he finds the staff lists he’s met with three blank spaces.

He fills in one of them.

Every step is blistering pain but he breathes heavily through his mouth, continuing to push through as he descends the steps towards his goal. He can’t help but wonder if he even has the strength to do any of this but what else is there to do? He has to get back to you. 

Whatever it takes. 

Later on, when he tells you what happened on this night he makes up a story, simple and believable, because in all honesty he doesn’t even know how he did any of it. His own strength in that moment frightens him a bit, all he knows is that he was looking for the man who accosted you in the markets all those moons ago and the next thing he knew he was standing in a halo of broken glass in the man's home. 

He knows you probably wouldn’t approve but he had wanted to kill him the first time he had grabbed you in the market, after the second time he wanted to make it hurt. The dungeons are a mercy compared to what Din would do to him. 

He’s running out of time so he has to improvise, he knocks the man out when he finds him in his bedroom, tearing the welding goggles off the nameless man's head. He cuts his hair with a shard of glass from the window, trying and failing to make it resemble his own.

It’ll have to do. 

He tells himself before dragging the body in through the back servant's entrance he’s used several times to sneak in and out of the castle with you.

He’s slick with sweat, at least his leg doesn’t hurt anymore, by the time he gets to the bottom of the steps there's barely any feeling in it at all. 

It’s one hell of a task, getting the nameless man into the cell and chained to the wall unnoticed but by some stroke of luck he does it, finishing his task by removing the man's tongue in one swift motion with a knife. Silencing the only witness to his escape. 

He looks over everything, making sure it’s all in its perfect place before adding the finishing touch, a bag over his head. Once it’s done he rushes towards the dungeon's entrance. 

He should move, get out of there and fast but he can’t help himself. Not after what they did to Elaine. 

So he checks the shift schedule, he waits until the last possible moment, when the next shift of guards arrives he hands them the tongue, trying not to wince at the undisturbed look on their faces, and he tells them that he’s going to do one last sweep before they switch. They all seem more than happy to have someone else doing the rounds. And he takes his time, slowly and methodically checking every cell until he gets to Elaine’s, and even then he waits just a little longer, giving them as much time as possible to get on a ship and far away from here. 

Even if it’s just a few extra seconds. 

Then he yells. 

His words make no sense and are garbled because of the state of his tongue but he gets the message across just fine. 

He yells that there’s been an escape, that a prisoner is missing and in the commotion of it all he slips away. On his way back to you. 

He’s so focused on seeing you again it never even crosses his mind just how many people have now seen him without his helmet. 

☆

“You won’t get a second chance. Don’t waste this.”

Lysa’s words continue to echo through his head. 

He has to do this exactly right. Or he’ll lose you all over again. 

He has to get into the castle. The quickest way to you is going to be being a staff member, but first he has to make himself presentable. So he goes to the cabin. Surprisingly untouched, Kodo must not have cared enough to have it vacated. 

He’s barely standing when he stumbles in through the door, heading straight to the fresher and peeling back the boards that hide his bacta stash. 

He is so fucked up when he finally looks in the mirror. He's practically a wild animal as he scrambles to get a vial of bacta open.

It’s unbelievable that no one asked him if he was okay, his face is mangled. Large gashes originate at his mouth and move up and down his face. A deep cut runs across the bridge of his nose, coincidentally directly over a scar he already had. 

He makes quick work of it. Lathering a thick layer of bacta onto each wound before opening his mouth. Thankfully his tongue is still attached in some places, it’s easy to coat in the healing ointment but it’s difficult to keep it from bleeding, but he manages. The real challenge is his leg. He limps out to the kitchen with a bottle of bacta between his teeth. Grabbing himself a knife from the drawer as he sits at the kitchen table, propping his leg up on a chair with a groan. 

Fuck. 

He’s seen enough battle injuries to know just how bad it is. Dark lines that he knows mean infection run along his calf. 

“Fuck.” He verbalizes his distress as he peels back more of his pants.

Okay.

The infection doesn’t go past his knee. 

Okay.

He doesn’t have time to be in denial over how bad it is.

He has the credits to cover a prosthetic but he doesn’t have the time. He’ll be in recovery for ages and that simply isn’t an option now. He can fight off the infection for a few more weeks but after that there’s no way he’ll be able to keep his leg. 

He can’t leave you alone in that castle with Kodo. 

So he steels himself, grabbing a wooden spoon off the counter to bite down on as he cautiously cuts away any decaying flesh as well as chunks of meat where the infection is worst. He’s lightheaded when he fumbles through one of his drawers for his cauterizer, sealing each wound with an unsettling sizzling sound. 

He feels half dead when he finishes, haphazardly pouring the contents of the bacta bottle onto his leg before passing out on the kitchen floor.

☆

As eager as he is to get back into the castle he knows he needs at least one more day to recover. So he tends to his wounds, and tries to teach himself how to walk all over again. 

He takes no breaks, keeping himself in a constant state of motion until the next day. He dresses in the provided clothes from the cabin, a wave of self consciousness washes over him as he walks up the palace steps in broad daylight, face on display for all. 

He gives the name he had put into the files at the door. 

Written on a slip of paper.

Din Djarin

His tongue is still healing, when he tries to speak all he can manage is a few incoherent syllables so he doesn’t bother.

He barely holds it together when he’s face to face with Kodo, he can’t believe that he’s directly dealing with servants until he begins explaining to them that they are to report any and all strange behavior from the queen back to him. 

And then he’s taken into a room. 

And he gets to see you for the first time in weeks. 

He doesn’t even get to feel a fleeting sense of joy because there is something terribly wrong with you. 

That’s the first thought that crosses his mind when he’s finally brought before you. 

It’s the scariest thing he’s ever done, to stand before you, face bare. His good leg shakes like all hell and he can’t figure out what to do with his hands. Being found out isn’t even a concern at this point; he just hopes you’re okay because it’s more than clear to him that you aren’t well. 

Your face looks hollow and his immediate worry is that you haven’t been eating. Your eyes have gone dull, his heart aches as he realizes the fire that he fell for is gone. 

He yearns to step forward and fix it. To reignite what’s burned out but you won’t even look at him. 

He so badly wishes you would just look, maybe, somehow you’d know. 

But you never do. 

You just leave, locking yourself away once more and he’s stuck with a week of staff training before he gets to see you again. 

☆

You aren’t the same after the execution. 

He had tried to warn you, to give you some kind of sign that you weren’t alone, but you’d thrown the daisies into a wall and he couldn’t do a thing to help you. He wanted so badly to say something, anything, to let you know it was him but he was only just starting to get singular words out and he just couldn’t keep up when you ran, his leg getting worse by the day. 

You just wouldn’t look at him. 

He had managed to purchase a hearing aid for his still working ear so he was able to hear the rumors the other servants said about you.

They were all mostly the same.

That you’d lost it. 

That Kodo had driven you mad and you were going to snap. 

He kept a closer eye on you after that, he had even tried leaving a different flower, blue lilies, like the ones you had back home, but they received the same treatment as the daisies. 

It was the day he started talking again that you snapped. 

After two weeks of bacta treatments he had regained feeling in his tongue completely and could speak, it was late at night when he’d finally done it and he wasted no time going to find you. Instead he found your room empty, when he knocked the guards told him you’d left. 

So he searched for you.

As quickly as someone with a barely working leg could. 

He caught sight of you just as you started making your way up the tower steps, Kodo’s hand in yours. The sight made his stomach drop but he followed you regardless. To say that he was in anguish was an understatement. He had been avoiding stairs for a while now and suddenly he had to climb an entire tower's worth. 

He was slow moving, making progress at a snail's pace until he heard your screams. High above him he heard raw and pained cries and suddenly it was like he had no limp at all, as he ran the rest of the way to you. 

When he found you he couldn’t stand upright any longer, he collapsed on the floor and pulled you to him, his hands shook as he got to feel your warmth for the first time in ages. 

Any pain he was in temporarily fizzled out when you held him back.

He made it back to you.

☆

You can’t stop looking at him. 

You’re aware of the circumstances, you should act first, look later but he’s here. Actually, really here. You aren’t imagining it, you can feel him under your trembling palms, he’s real. 

Your Din. 

You don’t even know where to start. 

How did you miss all this? 

The hawkish nose you’ve felt against your skin countless times. Plush lips, thick eyelashes, and dark eyes you’ve only ever dreamed about. It’s hard in the darkness but you can see just how pretty he is. Your pretty boy. 

“We should run. No more wasting time, no more excuses. Just you and me on a ship.” His voice becomes urgent and you know he’s right but you can’t get on a ship, they’ll never let you leave the grounds. 

“They’ll never stop looking for us. Maybe before I killed Kodo we could have gotten away with some cunning escape, but now? I just committed regicide. They won’t let us go.” Your voice is starting to go shrill as your panic rises. 

“What other choice do we have?” 

Kriff.

Can’t stay, can’t leave.    

Your mind races as you close your eyes to think, letting the pieces fall together until you have a coherent plan. 

“What if there was a way no one would ever come looking for us?” You take his hand, intertwining your fingers. “We wouldn’t have to hide. No more secrets, just us. We live here and no one objects.” 

“Cyare, that just isn’t a possibility.” 

But it is.

“I’ve been reading a lot, when I lost you, I read a lot. And not just romance books, every book I could get my hands on, I learned a little about this planet's history. According to Naboo royalty traditions, I take Kodo’s place as the reigning monarch.” 

“I thought it passed to the closest living male relative.” He gives you a skeptical look.

Not if they think you’re carrying the last king's child.

“No… it goes to me.” You mumble, thinking over everything else. You have to think fast and you have to think smart. He doesn’t dare interrupt as you focus.

You’ve covered everything on your mental checklist when a dark thought crosses your mind. 

“Would you think less of me if I did something out of spite?” You whisper, holding him tighter. “If I wanted to do something terrible?” 

“I would kill a man for looking at you if you asked me to.”

You don’t doubt that. 

“Do you trust me?” You start to stand, taking his hands as you help him to his feet. 

“Always.” 

“Then I need you to get Leo for me.” He frowns the moment you say his name. 

“You’re sure?” You nod, pressing your face into his neck. 

“I need you to do it, I can’t.” He knows you aren’t just asking him to bring Leo here, you’re asking him to end this. 

“Of course.” He murmurs. “One last terrible thing.”

One last terrible thing. 

Then you’re done.

“Bring him here, then I need you to follow my lead from there, there’s no more time to deliberate. We have to act, now.” You both know you’ve spent too much time planning, you pull him close, hugging him tightly before letting him rush back down the stairs. Your brow furrows when you see just how hard walking seems to be for him. 

You spend the few minutes that he is away trying to steady your breathing. Your mind is having a hard time deciding what to focus on. All you want to think about is Din but you know you’ll have plenty of time to do that once the two of you are safe. 

 It doesn’t take long, eventually you see Leo making his way up the stairs, Din isn’t far behind. 

You consider for the briefest moment, just forgiving him. 

For the longest time you considered Leo to be nothing more than someone who could be a bit annoying, you never thought of him as downright cruel. 

But then you see his expression. 

He looks at you as if he’s owed something and all your resistance snaps. You know he can’t see Kodo’s body in the darkness so you let him walk to you. 

“My queen…” He approaches skeptically as Din blocks the entrance.

“I wanted to talk to you about the Mandalorian.” You clear your throat and he immediately frowns.

“I do not think that is wise.”

“Did you know him, at all?” This has nothing to do with your plan, you just need to know. 

“I only interacted with him in brief instances.” You nod slowly. 

“And you knew how much he meant to me when you handed him that death sentence, right?” At this moment it doesn’t matter that Din is alive and well. You don’t care about that. You care about the days of agony he was put through, the pain Elaine had inflicted upon her when she got caught in the crossfire. 

“There’s no reason for us to have this conversation.” He almost turns to leave but you speak again. 

“I love him.”

“Loved.” He snaps back quickly, as if this entire ordeal is exhausting to him. 

Your jaw twitches. 

“Do you think he suffered down there?”

“Not at all, he was given a swift death, I’d consider him lucky.” 

“What about Elaine?” You’re surprised when Din speaks, Leo seems just as taken aback as you are. 

“She got what she deserved for witnessing an act of treason and doing nothing about it.” 

That’s the final straw for both of you.

“You know what, I think you are deserving of a reward, Leo. Din?” You look just over Leodall’s shoulder where Din’s eyes have gone nearly black. 

“Turn around and cover your ears.” The voice that speaks is one you didn’t think you’d ever hear again, it isn’t Din, it’s darker, deadlier. The Mandalorian is speaking now and you do exactly as you’re told. You turn, squeezing your eyes shut, you put your hands over your ears but even that cannot keep out the sounds of the carnage behind you. 

He takes his time. 

At first you aren’t sure how he kept him so quiet but when Din turns you around to face him you see how. It would be hard to call for help with a broken jaw, especially after your own tongue was shoved down your throat. 

You squint, searching over the damage to his body and see where Din carefully wrapped Leo’s stiff fingers around the vibroblade. 

“Are you okay?” He’s covered in gore when he asks and you simply nod, a few stray tears in your lash line. 

“I’m going to finish this.” You mumble, giving him one last look of reassurance before you do the thing you’ve been doing quite a lot of lately. 

You scream. 

You shriek, holding yourself closely to Din. It’s mostly an act, your wails of terror that echo through the halls. But a small part of you truly wonders if you’ll ever recover from the things you’ve done tonight.

After a few nerve wracking minutes you’ve got dozens of guards taking in the sight of your mess. 

You both play your parts perfectly. 

You cling to Din like a lifeline as you tell the head guard what happened. 

“Kodo and I, we- we were walking around the castle, he wanted to show me the view from the tower.” With a quivering finger you point to the window you know has the best view of the castle grounds. “We were celebrating. We were so happy we didn’t even see Leo following us.” You hide your face in Din’s tunic, letting out a shuddering exhale to imitate a sob. “I had just told him I was with child when Leodall attacked me.” You make a real spectacle of yourself as you weep against Din’s shirt, Din who notably goes rigid. “Kodo tried to protect me, he wanted to protect his heir but Leo just- he-” You whimper, earning yourself a room full of sympathetic gazes. “I screamed for help and thankfully this servant was here, he saved my life.” 

That’s all they need to be convinced, after all, who wouldn’t believe the queen.

At one point you’re asked why Leo would ever do such a thing. 

You tell them he hated Kodo.

Because he refused to make him a lord. 

And you speak loud enough for every guard in the room to hear you when you tell them that Elaine was innocent, that Leo falsely accused her. 

There were never any follow up questions. All of it made sense to them and even though it came from a terrible thing you’re free. You’re more than free. According to the way the monarchy on Naboo is structured you’re technically queen regent until your child comes of age. 

Kodo gets to die a hero.

The king who sacrificed his life for his unborn child. (That bothers you for quite some time.) 

But he dies nonetheless. 

And you can live with that because at the end of the day they’re putting him in the ground and you’re up here, with Din. You’ll have to wait an appropriate amount of mourning time before you take his hand in public, but he’s yours now. No one can tell you otherwise, what kind of person tells a widowed queen what she can and can’t do?

When the room clears you take him to your chambers, dismissing the guards who stand watch. 

“Kodo’s dead, leave me be.” Is all you say as you push past them with Din, you hear a brief worried discussion outside your door before they leave in a hurry. Din looks around the destruction of your room with a look of concern before his eyes settle on you. “Sorry, I- uh, didn’t handle things well when I thought you were- well.” You mumble apologetically but his look of worry is no longer focused on your room, it’s on your stomach as he makes his way over to you, carefully stepping over the mess.  

“Are you- are you really…?” 

“Yeah.” You smile at him but his reaction isn’t exactly what you were expecting. 

He cups your face in his hands, searching your eyes for any signs of distress but you know he won’t find any. Right now it doesn’t matter that you’ve done unimaginable things. It doesn’t matter that you’ve killed. Because somehow, despite it all, Din is okay. 

“I’m so sorry. If I had known I would have killed him long before you did.” He murmurs. 

“Hmm?” You hum softly, unable to tear your eyes away from his intense gaze. In the light you can see a little scar across the bridge of his nose, you want to reach out and touch it. 

“It doesn’t matter to me. We can do whatever you want, I’ll raise them as my own. I am more than willing to love this piece of you.” There’s a painful sincerity in his face and you become hyper aware of the fact that he assumes your baby really is Kodo’s. 

“Din-” Almost immediately he interrupts you; he drags his hands down your body, resting them on your stomach. 

“And we can live in the cabin. I’ll build a nursery the moment everything settles down, I will be the only father they ever know.”

“Din.” You say a bit more stern, trying to snap him out of his rambling. 

“Sarad’ika.” His thumb rubs a small circle against the fabric of your nightie. 

“It isn’t Kodo’s.” You give him a reassuring smile as he freezes in place. 

And you get to see it all. 

Every emotion you never got to enjoy when he was hidden behind steel. 

You get to watch as his concern melts away into a brief confusion that is quickly replaced with shock and processing. You get to see the way his eyes soften, and his lips part ever so slightly as he inhales a shuddering breath. If you had known just how expressive he was you never would have let him wear the helmet in the first place. He chews on his bottom lip briefly as he stares at you. Swallowing loudly.

“It’s mine?” The single sentence is shaky and breathless as you nod. 

“All yours.” You whisper back. 

His arms cage you in as he pulls your body flush with his, nearly lifting you off the ground.

“How is that- we were so careful…” He turns his head, pressing a series of kisses into your hair. You give him a skeptical look as you laugh.

“Were we?” 

“I guess not.” He shrugs, grinning from ear to ear as he looks at you. 

“It’s really mine?” He leans down to kiss you before you can even answer, making you laugh against his lips. 

“It’s really yours, and I already picked out a name.” Your heart flutters as his eyes light up, you just want to stare at him all day, partially because a part of you is worried he’ll disappear from your life all over again.

“Without me?” He sounds genuinely hurt, you lean up to kiss him again, hoping to soothe him.

“I think you’ll like it.” You mumble against his mouth after a moment. 

“How do you know it’s going to suit them, it’s too early.” He chuckles. 

“I just know.” You really do. A part of you had always had a vision of them, a little carbon copy of Din. A baby boy with his dark eyes and hair, you can feel it. “Can we go to the cabin? I don’t think I can stomach another night in here. The next few days I’m gonna have to deal with everything I did tonight, and I just want to spend tonight with you.” He nods, pulling you into one more embrace, unable to keep his hands off of you as he smiles. As much as you adore finally being able to look at him you suddenly worry that he might not be comfortable. “I have your helmet, if you want it.” You turn to fetch it but he keeps you pinned to him. 

“Don’t bother.”

“Are you sure? What about the creed?” The corners of his eyes crinkle as his smile softens. 

“You’re my creed. Everything I have, everything I am, it’s all for you. For both of you.” 

“You know you don’t have to be so poetic with me, I’m already yours, you’ve already wooed me.” You tease. 

“Then let’s go home.” He whispers. You smile as you leave your room, sneaking out the back entrance until the two of you are walking hand in hand across the courtyard and into the trees.

a/n : did a classic bks all nighter for this and im so tired, the edit was done through weary eyes lmao, feel free to lmk if there's any glaring issues

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[vigilskeep]

HARKER 🫵 what is your favourite part of dragon age lore to work into your characters

i have to pick ONE??

probably... and i hate picking just one... but probably magic. i’m super interested in what magic means culturally in this world and my characters tend to be very affected by magic even if they don’t have it themselves. most of the non-mages have mage family members. my main hawke keir, my templar inquisitor helena, and my dalish inquisitor nennaia find very different directions to base their entire little lives around having mage siblings. but there’s also characters like ylsi aeducan, my dwarven princess patron of science, and even though she’s always lived in orzammar i gave her plot about quietly housing apostates running from the chantry and wanting their knowledge and power for orzammar’s progress. i’ll always throw something in there. magic is cool!! and in a world like this you’re going to have a perspective on it and there’s a dozen interesting ways for your life to interact with it

religion is a runner-up. i’m always very interested in dragon age religion but somehow my characters tend to defy me and turn out atheists, or people who perform andrastianism without being particularly invested in it. ironically literally making them disobedient children of their maker. culture/nationality is always fun to work with that’s why it’s so nice to be able to make characters from different parts of a world