#apologies to my followers who didn’t follow me for this. reminder you can unfollow or block prev tag

[mentallhealthmatters]

Probably late but... (Long rant ahead)

https://www.tumblr.com/mentallhealthmatters/766237584051552256/like-fuck-you-shelby-this-guy-had-a-buuunch-of

“This is a 'I don't trust you guys, you weren't my friends,' move. This is 'you guys supported her, even quietly,' this is 'yeah no one fucking talked to him to hear his side of the story' move.”

Oh I have my thoughts and opinions on this and of people wishing or hoping that Wilbur still has friends or is still friends with those that used to be on that friend list. (the MCYT/Streamer Sphere) They are just setting themselves up for nothing but disappointment.

It wouldn't surprise me if everyone from the MC community - even those closest to him - abandoned him, in fact, I'm expecting it. Tommy private/unlisted his Wilbur Return “If I annoy Wil” VOD and even one or more of his YouTube videos that featured Wilbur (Like the Sims one). Philza unfollowed him everywhere, removed everything from his Twitch that even hinted at Wilbur, and he might be modding for Shelby (not 100% sure about that). Hell, he also probably got rid of some videos on his YouTube channel. Molly (Tommy's girlfriend) streamed with Lexie. (I think this was after the allegations) And isn't Lexie an ableist, claiming to be a victim of narcissistic abuse, which I hope she is able to heal but claiming all those with NPD are inherently corrupt or abusers because of a disorder they didn't ask for is just wrong. 

Sidenote/Mini-Rant: Saying "People with NPD will never get better because they lie to their therapists.” Is just so toxic and ableist in my opinion. 1) While NPD can’t be cured, it can be treated, and saying those with NPD will never get better discourages them from seeking those treatments. 2) Only a medical professional, psychiatrist, psychologist, or an expert on NPD can make a diagnosis, not Twitch streamers. 3) NPD and other similar disorders are extremely stigmatized and doing this is just going to make it harder for people with those disorders.

Not to mention all the ones who jumped on the hate bandwagon to throw in their two cents or those who just bashed him, Minx and Billzo for example jumping on the bandwagon: Minx was at a party at his house, saw him and Shelby(?) arguing, tried to insert herself - got denied - then later when Wilbur was heading to the bathroom because he drank too much. She followed him into the bathroom to hold his hair back (never mind that his hair is too short to be held back) Wilbur being drunk, assumed she was trying to harm him, got angry at her, and told her to leave, calmed down, and apologize and said she didn't have to leave, yet she chose to leave anyway. But according to Minx, he’s still somehow the bad guy because he got angry thinking she was trying to hurt him while drunk, she isn't a victim of anything. Billzo handcuffed Wilbur without his consent or permission to a railing(?) as a joke and threw the keys away. Then Wilbur tells or asks him to let him go making it very clear that he didn’t want this nor find the "joke" funny, only for Billzo to inform him that they don’t have the keys and set the cuffs to the tightest setting while Wil’s panicking. So of course this makes Wil panic more til he yells at Bill to find the keys. And somehow people are making Wilbur the bad guy because he yelled, while Bill was the one who restrained him, put the cuffs as tightly as possible, and laughed at him. Wilbur had every right to yell at him! (I would have) And Wilbur apologized to Bill for yelling at him!

And the others, many of whom admitted themselves that they weren't close to or knew Wilbur all that well like Aimsey, Tubbo, Harry, and Max (Didn’t Will need to be reminded by Tommy who Max was at one point?) all of which were very fast to condemn and attack Wilbur but when Beau came out about her story about being kissed without consent (might be more to that) by Snikrep, someone a majority of them hang out with, suddenly they're distancing and excusing themselves. Didn’t Aimsey make a statement on Twt saying she didn’t associate with the guy, only for a recent photo to drop that had both of them hanging out together in it, and then she deleted her statement on Twitter? Weren't Harry or Max (or both) caught on a previous stream where they were making fun/jokes about Beau and her story/situation? Isn't Harry friends with KitWisp and Snikrep who have also been accused of domestic abuse and sexual assault? I’m unaware if anything happened to them. (I think Snikrep is still editing for Tommy) It shows how performative and self-centered their activism and support for victims is. (Correct me if any of the above info is wrong or if you have more to add. I'm recalling all this from memory.)

Hypocrites, they’re hypocrites. “With friends like these, who need enemies" is a saying for a reason. 

I highly doubt he will even glance in Minecraft’s direction or touch it with a 50-foot pole because of all those people previously mentioned, even if he still likes the game itself. 

Wilbur deserves better. Better friends and better people to spend his time with. He needs people who will help him improve, not drop him as soon as the public deems it or when it's not profitable. I believe that it’s best he's gotten rid of all his MCYT "friends" as well. If all of them were willing to use his downfall to boost their reputations and careers, then he's so much better without them. He has worth outside of them and deserves more than them as much as I miss his friendship and dynamic with them. (SBI my beloved)

Besides, Wilbur being in a niche-y band with a small music channel on the side suits him more than being a Minecraft content creator. I say this as someone who found him via his Minecraft content and enjoyed it more than his band. (I like his band/songs, I just enjoyed his content more)

Plus Wilbur's biting habit is fixable, it can be helped. It's not something he kept secret, everyone knew about his biting habit and knew it was something he had done for years. I know change can be challenging, and be a long, slow, and difficult process. But what matters is that he keeps trying! That looks to be what he’s trying to do, with his last post on Twt, with him going to therapy and changing his lifestyle a bit. It's hard to stop a long-term issue or habit that started in childhood, like his biting habit (Old habits die hard) but none of them seem willing to try and help him change or improve himself. You should at least try, you'll probably get kicked and scratched in the process but that's what friends do: try to help each other. (Keyword: TRY. Don't keep burning yourself at both ends of the candle for someone who is unwilling to change. But Wilbur seems to be trying/willing.)

Even if Wilbur and some of his old friends somehow reunite or reconnect sometime down the line, if they can make amends, and rebuild the bridges burnt, those bridges aren't going to be what they were previously. They could only - at most - look similar but never be the same.

Only bridge id encourage being rebuilt is Quackity. *fuck* everyone else. But thats less i care about wilbur and have deemed Quackity to be the only one worth redeeming, but Wilbur is a crucial key to things id like to see from Quackity in upcoming plots and plans, and shelby burned that bridge. The story can still be told, but a name would have been omitted and i rather it not be.

[skykittywhatchamahcallit]

Aligning your political beliefs alongside a political party is stupid.

“Common sense” is based on nothing but feelings.

Statistics can be easily used to fit an agenda, read the citation not the article. Read the citation, don’t listen to the statement.

[bl00dyb4nd4ids]

I would like to get on here and just say something real quick

to the three people who followed my other account (I will not name names you know who you are) who are minors I am KINDLY asking you to unfollow that account I specifically left up my account here to still be able to keep in touch with my younger moots

as I have stated MY NEW ACCOUNT IS NOT FOR MINORS nor will it ever be u can be days hours minutes away from being 18 but until that clock strikes midnight u are still a minor

well I still believe you can have nsfw/suggestive talks I don’t feel comfortable as an ADULT talking that way around and with minors

I made myself pretty clear in my goodbye note on httpghostface and I know it’s still up yet some of you choose to ignore my boundaries

as that right there tells me you don’t respect what I have to say and to that I say if your not gonna respect this one thing I don’t think we could be moots going on from here

I have made reminder after reminder about how I didn’t want a minor on my account and you still just couldn’t let me have that

to me it shows that ur being rude and blatantly ignorant on what I wanted it just showed me that you completely ignored my navi where I clearly put mdni

I ask that you unfollow my other account before you get blocked not only from that account but as well as this one here

I do not play around when it comes to how I feel and whatnot I made that account to be able to speak freely and not have people who are younger than me around and to hear adult conversations words pictures and anything of that sort

again I will not ask again I will not put out a request again no reminder nothing I will not accept an apology for this as you clearly know what you did and still choose to do it just do as told please and thank you.

[lovedinapastlife]

Rec List

Hey. It’s me. Sunlit Garden on AO3. If you would like to find a bughead fic, beta, be long-term groomed with positive feedback and helpfulness, then have your self-confidence chipped away, be isolated from other support systems, be negged, insulted, and emotionally harassed/toyed with to output to her idea of perfection -- or find someone who did this to others and will most likely weasel their way into doing it again -- I recommend none other than jandjsalmon, the gal who runs theblueandgoldoffice - a handy fic-finding website.

I made a prior post about my personal experience but apparently not everyone knew it was her because I didn’t name her specifically. Hopefully, this is the last post I’ll ever make about her. A lot of wonderful people reached out with similar experiences or sympathy but I’ve also seen some continue to interact with her or rec her as someone to follow. Now, I’m putting it in the tags. Her name is out there. If I see her on rec lists, at least I know the info is out there that she abused me and others and whoever posted didn’t want to deal with having to deal with her bullshit of her harassing them or they think I’m a liar. I have nothing to lose in this fandom or to gain by outing her. I’m doing it because I don’t want her to be introduced to new waves of authors/readers/people will trust her without protecting themselves or doing something to protect others. Unfortunately, me and the victims I talked to did not feel comfortable sharing how much she hurt us with each other until she’d done a fair amount of damage, and we were all trying to make it work with her until we hit a breaking point.

As a reminder... this is just a potential scenario based on past experience.

If you do become mutuals, and she thinks you have an ounce of fandom fame or MIGHT post things she likes if she bugs you enough, she might make you aesthetics, reblog, comment, buddy up to your friends to get closer to you, find out and exploit your insecurities or mental illness, notably withdraw support to prove a point if you like something she doesn’t or even show love for another person who doesn’t love her, keep records of your convos, show them to other people, vague post about you (sometimes even going so far as to message you without you even asking to make sure you know ‘oh it wasn’t about you’ to rub salt in that wound), let her husband talk shit about and to you even when on good terms with her, and try to get involved in your personal life to be your (only) best friend and support system... only to tell you you are nothing without her, people rely on her for recs and she can turn the tides on fandom favorites, you should not write original works because original romance is “disgusting” YA is “immature” and no one likes your work and your mind is too fucked up to be productive without her. No one will love you or have time for you like her.

She will insist you include scenes even if you don’t want them there, then try to claim she helped write your fic in the comments of it when all she did was tell you to add something you already wrote and deleted back in, though she did comment on the doc and talk through your million ideas and pick her favorite OF YOUR OWN IDEAS and help with grammar. She will also tell you at least one of your fics is disgusting and berate you to the point of not wanting to post it, especially if it shows Betty even slightly interested in someone besides Jughead at some point in her life, claiming “that’s not her!” but OOC or Jughead with past/current partners is no problem... and she will be very apologetic to have to tell you and make you feel bad, but brag in DMs of her friends that she “made you change your mind” and “taught you how to think” if you eventually cave and adjust something. Conversations become drags where you agree with what she says just to avoid confrontations and meltdowns sometimes.

If you talk to her and try to rebuild your friendship or set boundaries, she will either lash out or apologize and be good for a few days until she can find a reason to turn on you again. When you distance yourself for protection or make new friends, she will harass you in DMs asking why you unfollowed (even if it’s a tumblr glitch) or followed so and so, why you did or didn’t like something, tell you how awful everyone except her is, and try to get you to talk shit about your own friends when you know she’s talking shit about you, too.

Oh and if you compliment her on something you’re considered good at that she’s insecure about (prompted or unprompted), be prepared to be called a fake liar and a judgmental bitch in general for having an opinion -- yes, even if it’s positive, so imagine how fun it was to disagree on something neither of us even made.

She is not a neutral party when it comes to abuse and harassments either. Despite being very anti-cheating, she stoutly defends the Sprouse brothers despite multiple women and outlets coming forward claiming they cheated on or abused their partners, claiming the sources are “crazy” or “jealous” or “unprofessional.” I have some pretty ironic in retrospect screenshots someone sent me of some of her rants but I won’t post them publicly here. What Jandy told me of her former victims was that they blocked her for no reason. She was nothing but supportive of them and they got too big for their britches and had other friends and abandoned her. I’m sure she says similar if not worse things about me for calling her out and cutting her off.

So yeah, it will be uncomfortable to unfollow, ghost, and/or block her. It might even be inconvenient because of the service she provides to this fandom. But please keep in mind that even the slight fear/dread of her shadow-banning or harassing you is a sign that she’s affected you, too.

If you really miss that one extra comment per chapter, hit me up. I’ve got a lot going on but I’ll make an exception for people who need that extra support as long as I can. For additional support, please see local and online organizations to talk to a professional or volunteer trained to help with emotional abuse, toxicity, depressive, or anxious thoughts like therealdepressionproject. Good luck and have a wonderful day.

[hood-ex]

Hey Emily can you and your writer-reader friends help us with this? It's a long story so sorry for that.

Me and a couple close friends found an author in a new fandom, we've been more or less chatting with her anonymously for a few months now and she's pretty nice we share a lot of brainrots as writer-readers ourselves. This author is kind of a niche writer so it's understandable that she really wants her fans to leave comments and be openly supportive, within this time she even had a depressive episode due to lack of engagement and fandom wankery. All understandable really. She came back a while ago and is back in great mood, and she dropped new fics too.

The problem is, the newest fic was sad and dark, the characters were bitter and the ending was ambiguous, tags and summary conveyed that, it was all intentional and her own friends have been hyping it up as sad bitter dark fic (not problematic dark, just dramatically angsty and bleak that fits canon tonally)

One of us has been going thru a very rough time themself, spiraled badly it seems, and I didn't learn about it until today. They read the fic, not their type of fic at all but I think they just wanted to feel something even if it was negative, judging by the comment. They're a big commenter and they left a long comment detailing all the stuff they liked, quotes, and that they really liked how the ending was not necessarily happy. This started the problem. Now the writer is constantly talking about how she hates sad endings, shading sad/ bittersweet endings, got her friends to post a lot of Happy content about those characters all of a sudden, talking to her other anons like she's venting about my friend's comment and my friend who had been avoiding social media happened to check in once, only to find all of that on their dash. They're now really upset at themself.

It's a messy situation and Idk how to help. I got to talk to my friend after days and this is what I see. They're regretting everything from commenting to ever "bothering" that author by chatting with her like It Is A Mess okay, and of course I'm worried about my friend but Idk how to handle the situation so the author doesn't get any flame or thinks we're attacking her? Our other friend is not as invested so he's okay with dropping the author altogether. Please advise us fanfic veterans we need it badly.

As long as your friend didn’t write anything rude/mean in their comment, I don’t see how they’ve done anything wrong in this situation. It sounds like the author is overreacting to a harmless comment.

At this point, it might be best to no longer engage with the author about this particular fic/topic if it’s going to cause distress to any of the parties involved. It might be better for you and your friend to put some space between y’all and the author for now. Maybe unfollow her until she’s done ranting about this topic. Eliminate the stressor from your lives, y’know? It doesn’t mean you can’t still read and enjoy her fics in the meantime.

I’ve personally reached out to people through chat when a problem has arisen (I wouldn’t try this approach anonymously via an Ask). I like this approach because you can be more direct without outsiders (followers) being in your business. However, I know this approach can be intimidating, especially when you’re trying to talk to a larger blog. Your friend also might not want to risk getting further backlash from the author which is understandable.

If your friend does decide to take the direct conversation approach then remind them not to come off aggressive or super defensive. It doesn’t have to be a big deal. Just a simple, “Hey, sorry for bothering you. I’ve seen you making some posts about so-and-so and I wanted to apologize if it was because of the comment I made on so-and-so fic. Just wanted to let you know I didn’t mean anything bad by it/didn’t mean to imply anything negatively about you/your fics.”

There's really not much else you can do about the situation. Just reassure your friend that they didn't do anything wrong/don't deserve the backlash and then try and wait for the author to move past the topic. It's up to y'all on whether y'all want to still engage with this author in the future.

Best of luck to you 🖤.

[tooweirdforyou]

Okay, I get the message, anon. You can stop now.

I’ll avoid posting anything that is not related to One Piece and make sure to just post fics for OP.

I must have forgotten that this wasn’t MY blog to work with and I understand this isn’t some diary online to write my personal thoughts and such, as if I was asking for attention.

Me discussing this topic at all must be pretty annoying so I deeply apologize for that.

I didn’t realize how much of a bother I was by interacting with people and wanting people to like me by expanding my interests and letting others know more about me and I’m very sorry for growing comfortable on this platform.

Must’ve forgotten I’m just a machine, a robot to write out fics for you which by the way, I’m aware isn’t top grade quality fics, like other amazing writers here.

Thank you for the reminder. You truly helped me in this. I hope you remember something. Don’t worry, I’ll remind you.

You are a piece of shit that has no respect for your own kind. I’m not like you so I won’t go further.

You must have been one of the people who treated all Asians as shit for the coronavirus, right? I get it. Actually, I don’t. Why the fuck do you care? Why the hell are you doing this?

You aren’t the only one either. Many other people have unfollowed me for my opinions and my posting. I’ve lost over 20+ followers alone in a week because of the small break I had too, not that I care but honestly, just unfollow me and leave me alone.

Please stop.

I’ll make sure to stop interacting with people and posting non-One Piece related stuff here. You have made it abundantly clear that I don’t own this blog and I don’t deserve the privilege to do so.

I’ll keep it in mind.

I guess that means you don’t want other fandoms in this either then too, which is fine. Thanks for letting me know in your own fucked up way. I appreciate it.

Oh and don’t worry, I already planned on posting a couple more one piece fics I was working on and had ready after I replied to every message I got. But it seems you couldn’t wait or ignore it. But just for you, I can postpone it later then.

Thanks for your support and understanding.

I sincerely hope you have a fucking shitty day. :)

I’ll see you all later. I need to think.

[chaoticspacefam]

wonder if part of why the swtor jedi-sith conflict plays the way it does with “sith stans” and etc because the sith empire are functionally saturday morning cartoon villains - “murder and mayhem await!” compared to the more, i guess, believable evil of the republic/jedi following good ideals to bad conclusions and justifying war crimes

I'd certainly say it doesn't help things, you're right! I have...a lot of issues with the Jedi and their portrayal (especially in the Legends/SWTOR era), but I also recognise that a lot of that is very personal to me and that another fan might feel differently. Long, ranty post ahead so if that's not your deal, skip this one.

TL;DR: thinking critically about the behaviour of the Good Guys bad, I guess, since they're the good guys and you're obviously not allowed to use your own agency to decide something they do makes you deeply, viscerally uncomfortable.  And God help you if you disagree with anything they do and cite personal experience behind your (very justified) avoidance of that rhetoric/teaching, because Bad Things Justified If Good People Do Them and how dare you have different personal experiences and responses. If that's what you do, you're doing fandom wrong /s Also, bad writing choices of the writers themselves that perpetuate toxic, harmful viewpoints and/or stereotypes don't mean anything when said viewpoints/stereotypes are the Bad Guys because...Bad Guys Aren’t Supposed To Be People With Rights, Thoughts and Feelings Too, They’re Just Evil, (cringe)

Disagreeing with someone’s opinions is fine, but if you’re going to deliberately expose yourself to content you don’t like and then attack the person that is making the content because they made it and it upset you when you went looking for it....you are, in fact, the one at fault babes. No one is holding you hostage, you can block tags or unfollow a person (especially me. I really don’t care honest to god, if my posts are not your jam just leave. please.) if you hate what they post so much and are unable to just scroll past things you don’t like to stay for things you do. I’ve done it and will continue to do so, and my fandom experience is happier for it. Also, people are human and sometimes we’re tired and we make mistakes like we miss a trigger tag, and you are within your right to come to the person and point that out, but you are not within your right to threaten them because they made a mistake. Then you’re just a dick.

But I still wouldn't be the one going around (passive) aggressively attacking other fans for disagreeing with my opinions and again, this is based on personal experience, but I've seen a lot more of that stuff from "pro-Jedi" people who seem to be conveniently okay with shit like mass-genocide and cultural erasure because "the Jedi are the good guys and the (OT) Sith are fascists!"

I don't interact with the subsect of fans that do think "the (OT) Empire did nothing wrong hurr durr" unironically (and for good reason, I don't agree with that viewpoint either and the fact that half the time the "defence" of these other fans is "well you're pro-fascist then!!" lmao) but there's a very big gap between the OT Empire which is rightfully a mirror of fascism and dictatorial governments and I do, in fact, raise my eyebrows in heavy criticism and disdain at the writers of the TOR-era deliberately choosing to "justify" the ultimate end being said fascist Empire by making the Sith species (and as always I preface this by saying I am in fact white & therefore know I have priveledge and can only "relate" on a much shallower level as POC fans, but there are places where I do find them more relatable than the TOR-era Jedi which reek of conservative, pearl-clutching Christianity (which I spent way too much of my life having forced upon me by the bible-bashing Evangelists(tm) in my family) to me and I just don't have the fucks to give to spend time fixing something that's honestly traumatising for me to be reminded of):

-heavily Indigenous/POC-coded

-"tribal" and not in a properly-researched and respectfully portrayed sense but in a very deliberate "these people are savage and need to be colonised and "sophisticated" by the More Acceptible (Human) Dark Jedi" even though they had their own society, belief systems, and even had technology - just not in the "socially acceptible, conventional sense" I guess

-perpetuating this by adding slavery and all of that can of worms into the mix too, just to drive home the "evil and bad" prototype ig. I'm not even gonna speak more on this part because it just makes me angry.

-Deliberately giving them more "alien" or inhuman characteristics, which while by itself is not necessarily a bad thing, put it together with all the other things?? Big. Fucking. Oof.

-Were literally exterminated and the survivors selectively bred for ONLY the "bad and evil" traits for not agreeing with the Jedi's beliefs. Their own practises and beliefs were automatically "evil" and "wrong" just because they didn't want to "convert" (sniff sniff, Christianity, is that you?)

A direct quote for those who can't be bothered to click and read the link:

For nearly two thousand years, superstition, loyalty and sympathy were bred out as the two groups interbred, and qualities such as cunning, ambition and affinity to the Force were favored, which shaped Sith society over the centuries.[3][21][22] In the Sith Empire, as time progressed pure-blooded Sith were steadily bred out,[6] resulting in only a few pure-blooded Sith left in the Sith Empire by the time of the Great Hyperspace War.[13] Long after, the true species in the Empire were believed to have gone extinct due to the interbreeding process.

And conversely the Jedi:

-Deny young children contact with their parents, siblings and families from the moment their Force sensitivity shows (hmmmm. )

-Continually and actively support the condemnation and Exile of "imperfect" Jedi, hell, it's even pointed out on Wookieepedia, that any Force sensitive, even those who are not aligned to either faction, but that train with or follow teachings that are not Jedi Approved (tm) is labelled as a "Dark Jedi" by the Jedi Order

Although "Dark Jedi" originally referred to a Jedi who had fallen to the dark side, it could also refer to uninitiated Force-sensitives who received no Jedi training but began their careers under another Dark Jedi. Others were simply dark-side users who did not follow the teachings of the Sith or other dark side organizations.

because "oh noooo you do not follow the way of the Truth and the Light you horrible person how dare you defy The One True Correct Teaching, that makes you the Devil Incarnate no matter what" UGH.

-Continuously push the idea (very heavily) that Emotions Are Bad, which just creates a bunch of emotionally-stunted powderkegs unable to recognise, confront and deal with said emotions (and as I've said, I would know, I was one and maybe still am in some ways lmao) , then blames said powderkeg for exploding because they were never taught how to handle the emotions in the first place.

(Fuck "there is no emotion, there is peace", that's not how people work and never will be lmao)

I don't really know what else to say about this to be honest, because even though I've only been on tumblr about a year now, I'm already tired of this constant "I'm right, you're wrong" finger-pointing between those people in the fandom.

Cause to some of these "pro-Jedi" people it's an unthinkable crime to dare to have a different opinion to them and just want to be left alone, I guess. I've literally been attacked for saying "I don't like the Jedi and find dealing with their dogma too traumatising based on personal experience and trauma from my childhood so I'm going to avoid it but you do you"

I've had American Christians (tm) clap back to that with the ever-wonderful "LMAO bitch you don't have religious trauma, you didn't grow up in the bible-belt, stop trying to be edgy, shut up and go to therapy"

(all of this is sarcasm, for those who need me to spell it out for you. I'm still traumatised by the shit I went through and have to constantly check myself and my own feelings because of the toxic "habits" those teachings tried to push onto me as a child and I have zero tolerance and patience for your (not you, ssalmon, but the royal "you" as it were) victim-blaming abuse apologism "gotchas")

because 1) clearly American Christianity and the bible-belt are the only insidious and harmful subsect of Christianity and it's not like the concept of Evangelism as a whole is inherently toxic, harmful, and traumatising to those subjected to it right 2) Obviously there's a Stated Right Way To Be Traumatised and anyone who falls outside of that (Non-Existent) handbook is "faking it for attention" 3) bold of them to assume that curating my own fandom (and life) experience, and refusing to engage with things that trigger me, isn't something that I literally fucking learned in therapy lmao

Also, I find it funny how these are the people going around attacking people like me, who are literally minding our own motherfucking business, but then claim to preach “love and tolerism” and all this other bullshit. Karen, sweetie, only one of us is going around telling people they deserve to be murdered/stabbed for disagreeing with thier opinion about a videogame and pointing out that “hey, that’s...very yikes maybe don’t do that, step back and calm down” and it ain’t me (true story, this happened a couple of months ago and I don’t wanna dredge the post up because it’s very upsetting to think about) People are allowed to have opinions, and they don’t have to agree with your opinion just because that’s what you think, and the second that you sink to sending people death threats because they don’t share your opinion, you are, in fact, the asshole in that conversation.

It was even funnier because the person in question followed me first, I initially thought they were pretty cool so I followed back, then they threw a massive temper-tantrum and threw a bunch of very upsetting and triggering shit at me without my consent because I didn’t agree with them (I’d even put my opinions in tags on MY blog in an attempt to be courteous and not hijack their post with negativity, in hindsight perhaps I should have made my own post in the first place and I do acknowledge that BUT if that’s all they’d said I would have apologised and moved on, quite gladly, there was no need for them to explode the way they did at me for...making a mistake because I’m a stranger on the internet who didn’t know them & wasn’t a mind-reader and I happened to miss a trigger tag that I didn’t think of at the time lmao)

This post is getting awful long and rambly so I'm going to shut up now, but that's my take on it I guess, I hope that's what you were getting at and if it's not I apologise, I've been taking a huge step back and actively just avoiding any and all major posts related to this discourse as of a few months ago because it just infuriates and upsets me too much, it’s not worth the detriment to my mental health, I’m just here to make friends who are also hyperfixated on SWTOR and have fun vibing and talking about our characters, not get into one-sided morality debates with pearl-clutchers. 🤷

[tantawans]

@piningbisexuals i can’t respond to your post since you have blocked me and i don’t even know if you will see this but i think i at least deserve the opportunity to explain myself when i’m being accused of bullying and harassment so if you are somehow able to see this i hope you will consider reading it and try to understand my point of view.

we have literally never even spoken one on one so i’m confused as to how you can sit here and call me a bully and a harasser who won’t leave you alone. also i find it odd how you’re acting as if this is some big conspiracy and we’re all plotting against you when i literally didn’t know who morgan was a week ago. you are completely wrong to say we planned this and encouraged each other to send you messages.

while i was following you for some time i also unfollowed you a very long time ago due to some posts that didn’t sit well with me and because i was distancing myself from the bl fandom as much as possible. however i was tagged in a post of yours recommending blogs and i thought it was nice to be included in that and so i followed your blog again. then when i saw your response to the whitewashing incident and how you refused to listen to any kind of advice or criticism and basically said if you don’t like my gifs you try and make something better i was reminded why i unfollowed your blog in the first place.

following this incident you then posted a gifset of joss with the tags “this post flopping is homophobic” and i don’t think you’re in any kind of position to make jokes about what is and isn’t homophobic. but then the tag mysteriously disappeared and again there was no apology for causing offence and hurt to people in the community.

no one ever said there was a problem saying an actor/actress is attractive we all do that but calling them daddy and talking about them having a boner and touching each others crotches and documenting kinky moments between them does step into the line of fetishisation in my opinion and made me uncomfortable.

my response to your post about itsay was never aggressive or attacking you it was just me trying to have a genuine discussion/debate and i thought this was cleared up after you responded but clearly you still hold some resentment towards me about that situation.

you claim we have been bullying and harassing you but the only evidence you have shown for this is morgan being very polite and asking you questions which you had specified for me to do rather than trying to have a discussion publicly. so it seems there is no way to approach you that you won’t take as a personal attack on you or your character. it’s impossible to have any kind of constructive conversation with you because you immediately become defensive and believe everyone is out to attack you which simply is not the case. you refuse to see things from our point of view and continue to gaslight us and make it seem like we have no reason to be upset.

while i can’t speak for sophia i would like to say that we are in a fandom that is full of people who constantly fetishise gay men and we see disturbing posts daily. most of these posts just sound like general observations and rants to me and if you don’t believe it applies to you i’m not sure why you would think they’re about you. also you cannot claim we have sent messages to your friends without proof considering none of us even know which blogs you’re friends with nor do we follow any of them but of course we have a personal vendetta and no one else could possibly have an issue with what you have said so it must be us, right? i mean for you to use anonymous messages from a gay man as proof we’re harassing you is frankly ridiculous.

we have never wanted to make you leave tumblr - which morgan had also stated in her post but clearly you want to push the narrative that we’re horrible bullies. if you truly believe that about me then please show me when i have messaged you or your friends or harassed and threatened you because it seems like you’re making up lies and creating your own narrative of the situation that paints us as evil people and you as the victim.  it’s obvious that you have no intentions of understanding our opinion and don’t care that you have hurt us so there is no need for us to interact again.

[superfanficnatural]

Fact, not Fiction

Well it’s been long enough and I’ve decided to just write this all out so everyone doesn’t have to read a series of reblogs and that they can have all the information in one place. Without further adieu *cracks knuckles* let’s get started.

So this entire story between Beka (Impala-dreamer​) and Vanessa (flamencodiva) is being told one sided, so I’m here to tell the other side and yeah.

Vanessa had unfollowed Beka, not blocked, unfollowed because she didn’t appreciate the way that she did things and who she is as a person. Beka had messaged her asking why and the entire thing was born. 

“I blocked you because you ruined my night, by writing me a 90 page essay on why I’m terrible and called me a Narcissist who only cares about people who kiss my ass.” Now, I want all of you to pay attention to how Beka so expertly framed her message to make her out to be the victim. Vanessa had unfollowed her, not publicly said anything, not messaged her anything because she wanted to keep from conflict and not make it a spectacle. Then, Beka makes a post that includes the above quotation making Vanessa out to be the villain. Beka had asked exactly why Vanessa unfollowed her and she told her why, she didn’t sugarcoat it because if she did, then that would be unfair to Beka. Beka then proceeds to post about it in order to make herself out to be the victim, once again claiming, “You are a very mean, heartless person, and you think the world revolves around you and it does not. Not everyone has to like you.” I had initially made a reblog of that very post including this quote and I had responded with -

 “Please allow me to bring to light a situation that had occurred about a month or two ago. I don’t remember exactly what it was, but you had posted something that required follower interaction and after only a single hour, you had ran to the pond discord server and began complaining about how no one looks at your account and your followers don’t like you. From then on, you had gotten a lot of support from a lot of the writers in the pond. I did not want to say this because of privacy, but the fact that you have given zero privacy to Vanessa with this post, I’ve also decided to shed light on something as well.”

This was one of the many situations and events that Beka had complained about her followers. Unfortunately, I have nothing but my own word along with others that have been subjected to or have witnessed events like these. Constantly, I have found Beka complaining about how one of her fic’s flopped, how her followers don’t interact with her, and how she doesn’t like the drama from Tumblr. I think we can all agree with not liking the drama on Tumblr, but when you yourself are creating that drama, it makes it nothing less than hypocrisy. Throughout the entire post of Beka’s response she never explained anything and only told her side of the story - meaning that she is playing the victim. She expertly weaved her web of deceit and left things out on purpose to gain the support of the public so she can have all of the attention. Another thing both myself and MANY other people agree on is that Beka loves attention, constantly posting about things that make people feel bad and send her messages of encouragement even though the very things she’s complaining about, she has started. Allow me to provide some examples.

The fact that she included her almost getting into “two accidents” already makes everyone feel bad for her, getting roped into her web. The repetition of her saying that she’s the “bad guy” implants into everyone's head that she’s pleading. What else screams out “Guys come support me because everyone is making me out to be the bad guy.” Maybe you really are the bad guy, ever thought about that? The “she” that she is referring to is Vanessa and I don’t think I can find a single example of her “terrorism” ever. Oh do you mean when she “terrorizes” other writers by reblogging their stuff with encouraging messages? Is she “terrorizing” her friends when she tags them in a funny gif set? If so wow, she really does terrorize people, you’re right! 

This really made me laugh out loud.

Let me start off by reminding all of you that Vanessa is also considered a “big blog” so you going after her for doing everything you have listed here is wrong, but when you do it, you’re allowed to complain about it? Let me also direct your attention over to the hashtag, “I’m out” The sheer amount of times I have witnessed Beka hashtag something with “I’m out” is abysmal. It’s another technique she uses to get people to message her going “oh no please don’t leave!” And what makes me know that for a fact is that every single time she says that she’s “out” I see her responding to asks from people sending encouraging messages. I’m really fed up about it and I just want to share it with all of you who might not be aware of all of these things so you don’t blindly follow and defend her. I used to follow her myself, but when I realized all of these things, I separated myself from that negativity and attention seeking. 

The second I had made my initial reblog, Beka had blocked me even though I had said nothing negative and only shed light on something. That shows that she’s trying to cover it up so her image doesn’t get tarnaged. Does this not show how desperate she is to play victim? In this entire little post, she didn’t address a single thing that anyone had responded with and instead found more things to complain about, once again leaving things out to keep her status as the victim. 

Now, some people might take what I’m about to say as insensitive but I’m really only stating the facts because I am not appeased by Beka’s self victimization. 

#fine if you want me dead, ...who said that they wanted you dead? I apologize but I don’t remember a single person saying that. This is yet ANOTHER way she is trying to get people to go “Oh no! Don’t think like that! Don’t listen to the haters!” It really baffles me how good she is at playing the victim but also at how ridiculous her antics are.

Another thing I want to add in is a post that Beka had made however many months ago talking about how the “SPN Family” was becoming negative and toxic. 

Now to be honest, I think that we can all agree with this at least somewhat and I was actually proud of Beka for writing and posting this. That is, until she made it ALL about herself again.

The second that post was posted, many people tried to spread positivity and love to a lot of others by tagging all of their friends and saying that they are grateful for them and that they love them. Beka then posted the picture above. That’s when I knew she really hadn’t changed at all. She’s proving herself that she just wanted attention in that post by saying “Beka who?” Meaning that she wanted everyone to go to either her DM’s, the comment section, or her asks to send words of encouragement as ALWAYS. 

The reason this is so long is because if I simply claimed that Beka was an attention seeker, it wouldn’t make sense to have no evidence or even just a single piece of evidence. So I’ve provided many, and trust me, there are more.

This entire thing is simply to educate everyone who is either involved or is curious in the current situation, even though it seems like a diss, it’s really me just exposing Beka with facts, not fiction. 

Since Beka deleted my reblog off of her page, I’ll just paste what I said here.

This entire situation really disheartens me.

Let me start off with the fact that Vanessa (flamencodiva) has DELETED her account because of this.

The fact that you came after her for wanting to be Tumblr famous is really wrong and allow me to explain why it is. Vanessa is a close friend of mine and I talk to her almost every single day. She is THE most selfless person I have ever met and is always trying to make others happy even if it makes her sad. She constantly reblogs everyone’s writing to encourage new and upcoming writers, and writers who have been around for a while to spread POSITIVITY. She has never once complained about notes, likes, or follows so I genuinely want to know why you felt the need to say she wants to be Tumblr famous. The only reason she went on anon for that message is because you blocked her so she had no other way of contacting you about why you had blocked her. 

She had privately messaged you to keep this between the two of you but you decided to turn it public, which doesn’t make her the victim, it makes YOU the victim. Right now, everyone who have seen this post knows YOUR side of the story but not hers. Yes, she comes across aggressive, but that’s only if you give her a good reason because you had upset either her or one of her friends which she cherishes. 

“You are a very mean, heartless person, and you think the world revolves around you and it does not. Not everyone has to like you”

Please allow me to bring to light a situation that had occurred about a month or two ago. I don’t remember exactly what it was, but you had posted something that required follower interaction and after only a single hour, you had ran to the pond discord server and began complaining about how no one looks at your account and your followers don’t like you. From then on, you had gotten a lot of support from a lot of the writers in the pond. 

I did not want to say this because of privacy, but the fact that you have given zero privacy to Vanessa with this post, I’ve also decided to shed light on something as well.

Her deleting her account ABSOLUTELY discredits your argument of her wanting to be famous because now she has no account, no followers, no fics, nothing.

I’m not writing all of this to create more conflict, only to further educate a lot of the people reblogging this and supporting Beka and being extremely negative to Vanessa right now. I personally have unfollowed you for personal reasons but I have not blocked you because I do not deem it necessary and I do not encourage negativity. This post really just oozes negativity and self victimization so I had decided to throw in my ten cents. You can come after me for this or not it’s really up to you but I did not write this with the intent to attack or diss, only to educate. Have a nice day everyone ❤

[merlivystories]

not over, never over (trixya)

Just a short fic about one particular friendship that overcomes the struggles of addiction created with help of my humble imagination and inspired by Trixie & Katya. Enjoy! xx

Trixie’s life has been pretty much the same for the past few months. He would go on tour, do shows, perform his music on stage, make instagram posts and tweet from time to time, receiving nothing but waves of admiration and love from the fans. His life has been the same, except for one piece missing. It felt like he had one piece of a puzzle gone and it’s absence spoiled the ability to fully enjoy the process since he wasn’t able to see the whole picture anymore. That would cause him to forget words to his own songs, cry in almost every dressing room in every city on the tour, constantly make spelling mistakes or leave out words on social media. The craving was slowly ruining him from the inside, sucking out his energy, keeping his mood down and his heart aching. That missing piece was, of course, one particular russian high-class whore - Katya, also known as his madly insane but utterly amazing best friend - Brian McCook. Or as Trixie was quite sure of lately, his former best friend.

No one ever said being close to Katya was a piece of cake, it was, actually, the opposite of that most of the times. The man was unstable, had an addictive personality and an endless amount of terrifying stories from his past he just had to share with Trixie. He could be loud one minute and then suddenly quiet the next one, he hardly ever allowed himself to talk about his real feelings, trying to disguise truth as jokes. But Trixie couldn’t help but loved him. They were naturally drawn to each other, sharing the same sense of humor and feeling comfortable while spending time together. Trixie often wondered if Katya could see all the things he loved him for, he was sure though, Katys was aware of all the things he loved him despite of. Their friendship was Trixie’s greatest strength and biggest weakness at the same time. People around them would say they were joined at the hip, and that has been absolutely true for a few years post season 7 of Drag Race. It was almost perfect, till it wasn’t anymore.

The first time Trixie learned about Katya’s multiplе addictions was when the two of them were working together with Pearl and Fame on one of the earliest episodes of RPDR. Trixie saw something small and round falling out of his pocket when he was pulling the jeans on. Katya followed his glance and hurried to pick it up, but Trixie knew for sure what that thing was. Sobriety chip. His mother’s boyfriend had a lot of those. 

- Alcohol? Drugs? - He wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to ask, if the two of them were close enough to share real stuff, but he did anyways. 

- Both, actually. It’s been a year and a half. I’m better now. - Katya smiled at him weakly, shoving the chip back inside. 

- You know you can talk to me if you feel like it. Anytime, I’m there for you. - Trixie said in a serious tone. He caught Katya’s wandering gaze, trying his best to let the older queen know he wasn’t kidding, not this time. Katya just grabbed his palm and squeezed it in response. He knew and he appreciated that.

Afterwards they got closer and Trixie spent hours of his life listening to stories about Katya’s addictive past. He would listen to them over the phone, in a cafe while eating eggs with a salad on the side, while applying his makeup before the gig and in a dark alley filled with cigarette smoke he could barely stand after a gig, also in hotel rooms, on WOW Presents set, on buses and on airplanes. Simply put: he would listen to those stories everywhere. But he never got tired of it. On the contrary, Trixie was completely fascinated. Katya managed to make it all sound amusing, he has always been amazing at turning tragedy into comedy. However, from time to time Trixie looked at Katya’s face for a little too long and wondered how he’s still alive and breathing. This is what should be called the eighth wonder of the world. At first, right after the both of them just started working together post Drag Race, Trixie would catch himself being worried about Katya’s well-being and wondering whether he could take all the pressure without breaking down. But it has been a few years and Katya always rose up to every occasion, ready and totally able to entertain. And just as Trixie was about to let it go and finally breath out, everything exploded right in his face.

To be honest, it wasn’t that horrible. The older queen has seemed erratic and distant for a couple of weeks. Trixie tried to talk about it but got nothing more than irritated «I’m fine-fine, stop huffing around me, Tracy!» out of him. One day Katya just didn’t show up on the set of their «Trixie & Katya» tv-show and didn’t pick up his phone (Trixie called like fifty times, all in vain). On his way to the hotel where Katya was staying, he texted that he was going to come see him. And finally got a reply: «Don’t you dare coming over. I quit. I don’t want to see you ever again.» Trixie came over anyway, he has never been much of a listener. Katya was gone, checked out of his room a few hours ago. But he left a note on the reception: just a small piece of paper. It said «to Brian F» on one side and «Trixya is over!» on the other side. Well, maybe it was horrible.It definitely hurt like hell. Trixie felt confused, betrayed, disappointed and mad. As soon as he managed to pull himself together, he called Patricia, searching for any reasonable explanation: she told him Brian was using again, she said he came home a total mess, she apologized over and over, promised it was all going to get better after rehab and begged not to call quits on her son. Trixie had no intentions to do so. Katya wasn’t the enemy here, his addiction, on the other hand, was.

Since that moment the younger queen stepped back from the situation, put it all on pause. Their relationships, their dreams and his feelings as well. Katya stopped returning his calls for good. Trixie blamed it on addiction. Katya unfollowed him on every social media he could. Trixie blamed it on addiction. Katya’s first text to him after a long silence was about how much he hated him on the first episode of All Stars 3. Trixie blamed it on addiction. He heard rumors about Katya talking shit about their friendship behind his back. Trixie blamed it on addiction. Never blaming any of it on Katya. He kept shoving his feelings into the farthest, darkest corner of his soul the way Katya shoved that sobriety chip into the pocked of his jeans. Mostly, he could get by days just fine: not to take spelling mistakes, forgotten lyrics on stage and tearing up in dressing rooms into account. But not a single night was spent without missing his best friend, not being able to dial his number and just babble about his life, going on and on about the troubles, feeling “the weight of existing” being lifted off his shoulders slowly. He reminded himself constantly that the whole situation was way worse for Katya, that he is the one who should be strong and patient, that all of it (all of them) was going to be back one day. Could he say the last one for sure? Not at all. Making attempts at predicting things that depended on him only partially seemed stupid, but he simply couldn’t deny himself that whatsoever fleeting tranquility.

It’s been more than half of the year and Trixie’s heart started to heal. He knew no one could ever replace Katya, people don’t really get so lucky in life as to meet soulmates every few years. Nothing depended on him anyway, it was all about Katya fighting his demons and probably winning. Deep down Trixie knew he was going to be alright as long as his friend got to feel better. Thought it wasn’t easy to pretend like it didn’t bother him at all that his next show was in Boston, in a theater just an hour away from McCook’s family house. Nothing else mattered as long as he had the chance to put all his worries aside and do what he loved doing the most: dressing up and putting on makeup, creating a full country-Barbie fantasy and singing his own songs from the stage. How lucky he was to only spot two painfully familiar piercing blue eyes staring at him from the audience right before closing the show? Extremely lucky. Trixie didn’t trust his vision at first, but the truth was - Katya, out of drag, sitting in the audience, wearing skinny black jeans and a plain grey t-shirt, showing his arms all covered in newly done tattoos. Their eyes met and the younger queen felt himself being on the verge of heart-attack. Katya got up from his place, pointing backstage with a silent question in his eyes. Trixie nodded almost invisibly and rushed from the stage.

Just a couple of minutes after getting into his dressing room, Trixie heard knocking on the door. His heard was racing so fast it could totally fall out of his chest any second now. He turned the knob with a shaking hand, pulled it and there was Katya standing on the other side with a paper bag in his also shaking hand, visibly  sweating and looking extremely uncomfortable. 

- Can I come in, please? - Katya asked in a low voice. Trixie stepped to the back of the room, letting him in. - I brought you brownies. I figured you would be hungry after the show. - Trixie suppressed a smile. Mixed feelings were tearing him apart from the inside. It wasn’t right to be in that much pain and so relieved at the same time. Katya seemed normal, he seemed himself. But this fact didn’t erase all those months spent in darkness and total abandonment, without his best friend. He took the bag and thanked the older man. Katya came close to a mirror, looking at the younger queen standing behind him through it. Then there was silence, usually comfortable between the two of them, but this time it seemed unbearable. Trixie couldn’t help but wondered if things would ever be the same again, if the damage this falling out caused their friendship was irreversible or not. 

- I like your tattoos. - Trixie finally spoke up, carefully trying to defuse the situation. He caught Katya’s eyes in the reflection. The older queen was smiling.

- Thank you, Tracy. - Katya replied softly and turned around, facing Trixie and leaning on the dressing table with his legs crossed. - I’m glad you let me in here today. I would be even more glad if you agreed to hear me out. Can you grant me some of your time? - Trixie had never even once in his life heard Katya speaking in such way: calmly, steadily and confidently.

- Sure, I’m all years. - The younger queen nodded. He sat on the little white leather coach in the corner of the room and streached out his lean legs. He was still in drag and his feet were killing him from jumping around the stage in high-heals for the past couple of hours. Katya probably noticed the glimpse of discomfort on his face.

- Oh, I’m so sorry, I should have let you get out of drag first. So fucking inconsiderate of me. We can meet in the alley behind the theater in 30. Is that okay with you? - He looked genuinely worried and Trixie was secretly relieved to postpone this conversation, even for half an hour. Definitely wasn’t going to be an easy one.

- That would be great, thanks. - It came out a little cold. He didn’t aspire to sound this way, but it did. Katya retired immediately, leaving Trixie alone with his thoughts.

It exactly 28 minutes Trixie in his boy-clothes went out the back door and found himself in a pretty dark alley. Katya was standing under the only streetlight in sight, looking down intently and tracing lines with his right feet.

- Hey. - Trixie called out and the older guy lifted his head, smiling.

- How are you never late? - He asked, staring at the watch on his hand. Katya was that type of an “old person” that barely ever had his phone around, but this simple black-strap watch was literally glued to his wrist all the time he was out of drag.

- The same way you are always late! No logical way to explain this. - Katya wheezle-laughed and it hit Trixie how much he missed the sound of that awful, stupid, infectious and painfully familiar laughter.

- Well, I guess you can hear me out now. - Katya said quietly, not a trace of a smile on his face, when the younger queen came closer. Trixie nodded, feeling the heartbeat fastening. Come what may, he thought. - I came to talk to you today because I’ve been told I was ready. To be honest, it doesn’t feel like “ready” to me. - Katya shook his head and took a deep breath. He was staring at the ground intensively while Trixie was dying to look him in the eyes. - However, I believe I will never feel ready enough for this. I’m not good at sincere and emotional conversations, you know that better than anyone, Tracy. - Trixie could feel tears coming up, oh, how much he hated being this vulnerable in front of Katya in that moment. - I came to apologize, - the older man finally found a courage to look up and their eyes met, - there are not enough words in the world to express how sorry I am for hurting you, for ruining what we’ve had. I understand it’s bold of me to just show up out of the blue and expect you to forgive me instantaneously. - His voice was shaking and Trixie noticed the way he digged his nails into his own hip. - If I’m being completely honest, I can’t even promise you not to go nuts ever again. Most of the times I can control it, but sometimes those voices in my head get too loud and I feel like I don’t even know who I am anymore. Though I can ensure you, as long as I am myself, I will always consider you my best friend. So I kind of came here to ask you for something I knew I didn’t deserve at the first place. For you to be a part of my life again. - At that point, Trixie was dead-ass ugly crying, his cheeks all wet from tears and his nose running. The older man was crying, too. The way he somehow always managed to look beautiful when he cried happened to be an unsolved mystery. - I can’t promise you perfection, I won’t promise that. But I for sure will try my best to be a better person, a better friend to you, if you let me. - Katya reached out and stroked Trixie’s shoulder just once, obviously doubting whether it was a good idea to do so. - Also, nothing drag-related. I’m aware you can’t rely on me career-wise and with a lot of done work and money on stake, there’s no reason you should trust me again. I wrote it myself: Trixya is over. - He went silent and froze like a convict who has said his final words, waiting for the verdict of the judge. Trixie was overwhelmed with the emotions, struggling to speak back. So instead he grabbed the older man’s arm and pulled him into the embrace. Katya wrapped his both arms around the younger queen lightly, not quite sure about what exactly was going on.

- I don’t need perfection, - Trixie finally whispered, - I just need you. - Katya breathed out loudly into his shoulder, feeling relaxed and excited at the same time. - Also, - Trixie pulled back a little so he could see the older guy’s face, still holding his forearms in his hands, - Trixya is not over. We both know, it is never over. - Katya only smiled and nodded, not even trying to figure out anymore how he got so fucking lucky to call the guy in front of him a friend. 

[fleurlibelle]

CYBERBULLYING within the Sims-Community - Spread LOVE and not HATE -  with Tips

This is important to me. Okay, I was thinking back and forth if I should do that, and guess what? I will express my opinion. Because I think it’s extremely important to say something. This Sims-Community, especially here on Tumblr can be a very toxic place at times for simmers who do make a mistake. It’s literally the end of some great simmers who did provide beautiful content, before you judge, hear me out.

Even if you apologize and recognize that you made a mistake and promise to do better it doesn mean anything. Because there are simmers who keep trashing each other out there. You won’t get a second chance by the community to prove you learned from your mistakes and let you be. I’m not a big simmer in this community. Yet, it’s sad to see that BULLYING is obviously accepted.  It seems to be okay to keep trashing those who made that one mistake, even after them leaving the community and simmers still join the ride and keep going on that like yeah I'm happy they learned their lesson and left, finally. We don’t need that trash here.

Okay, I’m not religious by any means, but this quote is damn true, and I will say it:

Let them who are without sin cast the first stone.

After all we are humans (from preteen till senior, regardless the heritage and  nation).  Most simmers tend to forget that behind each profile there is a real human. We tend to make mistakes and in most cases we learn from them. 

But is it really okay to keep trashing each other? I mean, we are all here to enjoy what we love the most, and that’s the Sims, right? I get this feeling that you need to fear our Sims-Community because once you do make mistake, mostly without intention, there is no way to recover from that. At least I’m convinced that some simmers are not aware of whatever mistake they made and then realize it, oh damn, this is not what I wanted. But such issues lead mostly to riots up to boycott.

A bunch of Simmers don't think about it how toxic this can be and what it can do to the emotional state. In fact, there is a name for this it’s called cyberbullying. 

Let’s face it guys: Causing embarrassment or humiliation isn’t fun, and in most cases, this is happing in our Community with simmers who made a mistake. This sort of behavior is inadequate, and there is no excuse, regardless of the case.

More information on cyberbullying here.

I simply believe in the good within a human's heart. Most simmers who fall into this mixed-up trap called "Real Life vs. Sims Reality" must think about the fact that their stories leave a distinct impression. Maybe some of them just didn't think about the potential consequences that it could hurt someone.

Understandably, some topics are highly sensitive. So here are some tips from a small simmer for all those who fear to make a mistake.  If you are a new Storyteller or even a long-time Storyteller please make sure to read my suggestions.

Under the cut I gathered, I hope some useful tips:

Minimize Conflicts: Tips on how to minimize conflicts as a simblr in a multicultural simming community

The Mistake Maker [ You made a mistake now what?]

The Offender [The attacker, who feels hurt]

The Bully [Well, yeah]

Keep in mind I don’t take any side, nor I will. I speak in general terms overall.

Minimize Conflicts

How to minimize conflicts as Simblr in a Multicultural Simming-Community. If you are new to this Sims-Community and you want to prevent being attacked, for what you do. Here are some examples which caused issues in the past. Because some simmers haven't been diverse enough or talked about topics without doing proper research and considering potential consequence that specific choices can cause drama and action you didn’t intend to happen:

Diversity Create SIMS of all nations from all sorts of background (e.g. Age, Nation, LGBT, Transgender, Religion, etc.) Regardless, even if you have your playstyle, which is fine, by the way. But you are a part of a multicultural melting pot from the moment you joining this global Sim-Community. Sure, you can’t make everyone happy but show you are diverse, and you will be loved ;). 

Stories: Depending on the topic you choose for your Simstories you always need to keep in mind: Can I hurt someone's feelings with what I say and how I portray it? Is this accurate? Don’t simmify anything without taking such thoughts into account. Simply, because it can unleash a backlash. Writing about certain traditions, lifestyles, cultural or historical facts can be at times tricky. You must be aware that specific topics can blow up in your face. More particularly, if you have no experience with these topics or do not understand their historical implications. As you can hurt real people through what and how you write about situations, relations, and the way you portray it. Some people will resent you. Especially with regard if you want to talk about topics from minority [+ethnic] groups. That goes for relationships, historical events, and everything that can be considered as sensitive. Yo have to think twice before you write about it and dig into such topics.

Pre-work: Be sure to do your pre-work before using sensible topics: Such as historical events and any form of diseases, religion, sexuality, violence, crime, racism, alcohol, abuse, and other aspects that fall into this category.

Research: It is strongly encouraged that you to do a profound and good research before you implement somewhat a heavy topic into your story. Make sure to layout ahead before you post it. Write it and read each line. Think about what kind of impact your words can have. Like could it imply something you don’t want to?

Stereotypes: Can you hurt someone’s feelings with how you portray them without thinking about your intention and what you try to achieve by using a stereotype? Does your reasoning sound logical and valid? Why are you using a stereotype? Explain the reason if it's not clear enough.

THE MISTAKE MAKER

You made a mistake now what?

Show understanding and tell your intention why you did what you did.

Remove Post. If it happened without intention - remove your post instantly.

Don’t take it personally. Don’t let this hurt your emotional state.

You are human. We tend to make mistakes. Always keep that in mind.

Anxiety. If you suffer any form of anxiety, don’t let this go to your heart.

Suicide Thoughts. If cyberbullying achieved this? This not good at all. Please reach out to suicide.org to get help in your country via a helpline simply because life is too beautiful and too precious.

How to deal with digital attacks

Ignore it. Don’t react or respond to negative comments.

Block online haters.  As soon they make negative or hateful comments, delete first. They keep going? Block them. Don’t let words hurt you. Yes, you can also block the anon (IP will be blocked) or turn off the annon function in your settings for your inbox. Talk to someone you can trust and report “offensive content” on Tumblr here. Tell that they bully you, keep the messages until you are done with the report, and do screenshots for proof.

Be kind and respectful. Yes, even to haters. It shows that you’re in control of your emotions and that you aren’t letting negativity bring you down.

Stick with your supporters. Keep your followers who do appreciate and understand you. Having a friend nearby if you think you might encounter a hater not only makes it less likely that an incident might happen, but also means you’ll have positive reinforcements just in case.

Reminder. Remind yourself that comments from a hater are a reflection of them and aren’t really about you. People who feel good about themselves don’t need to put others down.

Criticism. Understand criticism can be a sign of pain. People sometimes lash out because they have other life struggles. Negative comments may have nothing to do with you.

Feelings. Acknowledge your feelings. Talk to a trusted adult or friend and get some encouragement and support.

Be yourself. Keep being you. Keep moving forward, pursuing your interests, and being who you are.

OFFENDER

The attacker, who feels hurt

Ask. First ask, what did you mean by saying XYZ? 

Intention. Question the intention. Did you intentionally imply XYZ?

Express feelings. You have all the rights but give them the chance to explain themself but be forgiven and show understanding if they tell you they did not want to hurt your feels.

Forgive. If the person apologizes, be forgiven.

Second chance. Did the person learn that their behavior can hurt? Do they do it right now? Well, why not keep following and enjoy, right? Or let them be if you don’t want to follow them any longer.

BULLY

The dickhead that keeps going.

Listen, Bullying is not okay.

You don’t know who is behind that profile.

You don’t know in what emotional state that person is.

Words do hurt even more than physical pain.

It can lead that person to do something dramatic (like suicide etc.)

Your words have an impact, and you don’t know what it can cause and do to someone. Put yourself in their shoes.

Be forgiven.

Unfollow, if you don’t like them any longer but don’t trash that one simmer. This is so NOT cool.

SIDENOTE

Speaking on general terms. Big simmers do have a specific role model function as well. Many, in most instances, several thousand simmers of all ages are following you. It’s your responsibility not to support any form of Cyberbullying. 

Because children and young people follow you. They adore and love what you do. Take your role model function seriously and please, don’t support any form of Cyberbullying.

Reblog if you agree.

Much love,

Malia❤️

PS: I love this community because it’s a melting pot of cultures of all nations and background. Let’s make our spot a safe and welcoming place for those who feel unsecure about themself. Don’t judge before you have valid evidence and proof that a human being is evil or bad because of ONE mistake. We all did mistakes in our life.

[ella-se-vuelve-loca]

Chapter 19

Grand Masterlist

Series Masterlist

I’m sorry that this is posted a little late today! Lmao I’ve just been super busy with a lot of shit going on. I’ll keep trying to post up more chapters for y’all! I hope you guys enjoy chapter 19! I was gonna put the music video that Johann did of “Treat You Better” in this chapter, but I don’t want to give him more exposure and tag his shit in my story LMAO oops

Previous Chapter

~1 Week Later~

Joel’s P.O.V.

“Hola cncowners!” I smiled at my phone screen as more and more people started pouring in, watching my live stream. I had my laptop next to me playing some music while I waited a few moments, letting everyone get settled in. “How are you guys?” I asked and reached for my bottled water I had off to the side. I took a sip and started reading the comments of what everyone was saying.

“Uh I’m good. I’m just hanging out here in the hotel with Richard, but he’s currently FaceTiming Aaliyah right now.” I chuckled and switched the camera so it showed him holding his phone up to his face and smiling at his baby girl.

I turned the camera back to me and read the next following questions. “The rest of the boys are in their rooms probably sleeping or something, I don’t know.” I laughed. “I just wanted to check up on you guys and see how you’re doing.” I cleared my throat and continued reading the comments that popped up on my screen.

“Um.. ‘Mexico misses you! Please come back soon’. We miss you too! I love getting to travel and seeing new faces everywhere I go.” I smiled as more questions were being asked and I began answering them as much as I can. I turned my attention back to my laptop when a song ended and I looked for another video to play. “Hey, do you guys have any song recommendations? Any songs you wanna listen to?” I asked as I had looked back at my phone screen.

So many song titles came through and I waited until I kept seeing a repeat. I saw a few that told me to react to music videos and whatnot, but I played their songs and answered their questions while Richard was laughing at what his daughter was doing on the other line. “Okay you guys. I gotta head to bed really soon, so I’ll play one more song for you guys and then I’m off.” I smiled.

My good mood slowly went out the window as I saw Johann’s name pop up on my YouTube page with a new video that had been posted recently. I was going to scroll past it until I saw someone who looks very familiar on the cover. I sat there in shock, not quite sure if what I was seeing is true. “Uh actually.. I see something on here that caught my attention. I can stay for one more song after this one. Let me just..”

It’s peaked my curiosity though and I can’t help but wonder what he put out. I clicked on the video and was met with her beautiful face on my laptop screen. I felt my breath get stuck in the back of my throat for a few seconds as I heard Johann’s voice start singing to my girl..

“Huh…” It’s like all the butterflies in my stomach had just died watching his hands on her waist.. his face buried in her hair.. her smile. This doesn’t just mentally hurt, this physically hurts. “Treat You Better.. this is uh..” I cleared my throat and continued to watch Johann hold her close to him. I bit my lip and slowly brought my head down. I don’t know if I can continue watching this.

The way he looked at her made my blood boil and I wished that it was me instead of him. It’s been a few months, but I didn’t really think she would… I thought maybe we can… why does my heart hurt so much?

“Alrights, mamas, papá has to get going. I love you!” I looked up at Richard blow a kiss and say goodnight before turning his attention back to me, smiling. He placed his phone inside his front pocket and sat on the bed next to me. “What are you doing?” He asked as he looked at the video playing on my laptop. “I’m just.. I’m.. watching a music video and doing a live..”

He went silent for a few moments as he looked at who was on my screen. “Hey.. isn’t that – ”

“Yeah.” I cut him off and looked away from my laptop as Johann leaned down close to her face, indicating that there must’ve been a kiss at the end. I cleared my throat and exited out that video. “Okay uh.. one last song before I head to bed. How about we let Richard pick out what we listen to next, yeah?” I pushed my laptop closer to him as I looked down at the comments.

“Hola.” Rich spoke and waved at the camera as the cncowners greeted him. He typed in one of our songs and let it play for everyone to hear. I could feel him staring at me from the corner of my eye as I tried to not think about what I just saw. Richard pretty much took over as he started reading an answering questions they were asking as I got up and walked to the other side of the room.

“I’ll be right back. I’m gonna head to the bathroom real quick.” I spoke as I turned my back towards him and walked into the restroom, closing the door behind me. I’m just reminded of the fact that I can’t talk to her and now she’s in his arms. Then again, this could just be acting and nothing more, but it still doesn’t stop the hurt I feel in my chest. He’s rubbing this in my face, I know he is. Why else would he have picked her and sing that song?

I have to find a way to get the ball back in my court without damaging more relationships and my career that I’ve worked so hard to get where I am. Should I even attempt to fight for her back? I know you shouldn’t give up on people you love, but I don’t know if she loves me anymore. Is it worth the fight?

I walked out of the bathroom as I realized the song was just about finished. “Okay you guys.. it was nice getting to talk to you all, pero necesitamos dormir.” Richard spoke as he saw me walk back out of the bathroom and walk towards him. I put on a smile and waved goodbye. “Buenas noches.” I turned off the live and grabbed my phone, tossing it onto the bed carelessly without another thought.

“Bro – ”

“No.. you know what? This is what I get. I don’t deserve to feel the way I do because I did this. I just wish..” I bit my lip and shook my head, ripping open the blankets as I lied down. “I think I’m just gonna sleep on it…” I heard him sigh and walk around, but was shocked when he sat on the edge of my bed. “She’s moving on..” I softly spoke and brought the blanket close to my face. “With him..” He stayed silent for a few moments before speaking up.

“You still love her?” He asked. “What kind of question is that? Of course I do.” I spoke and gripped onto my blanket. “Do you want that second chance?” His eyebrows scrunched together as my body turned towards him. “Yeah..” I said, looking up at him. “Dude, what are you – ”

“Just answer the damn questions.”

“Why? What difference does it make?”

“’Cause I’m willing to help you pendejo, but only if it means that much to you. Now answer the fucking questions. Do you or do you not want that second chance?”

“Well of course I do!”

“You want to try again?”

“Yeah, but she won’t – ”

“Are you gonna give up on her?”

“No! No, I don’t want to. But Johann said – ” I sat up he kept going. “You want to be able to continue where you left off and grow together as a couple?” The tone of his voice grew a little louder as I became irritated and answered him back.

“Yes! Yes, okay!” I exclaimed and slowly brought my head down, angry at myself. “… But I can’t. I want.. I want to be able to do all of that and more without anything else getting in the way. I want to start over.” He slowly nodded and held up his hands as in question.

“Okay… so the question is, what are you gonna do about it and what do you need me to do to help you?”

~~

‘Why did the color drain from Joel’s face when he saw Johann’s new music video on his live a few days ago??’

‘Joel looked so sad at the end of his live recently :( are you okay bb? We love you! x’

‘Is anyone else gonna ignore the fact that Joel unfollowed Johann or…?’

‘Does that girl in Johann’s video mean anything to him or something? Was it the song he didn’t like? He looked so upset but didn’t say much about it’

‘I thought the video was good, I don’t know why he got quiet the way he did’

I shouldn’t have watched that during my live a few days ago ‘cause now the fans are asking why my mood changed right after. I haven’t addressed any of them and just continued like nothing happened.

“Alright, this song is fire because it’s telling your girl, or telling that one person ‘I don’t wanna keep fighting’, you know? ‘I don’t wanna keep bugging about things that happened before, let’s just start from zero. Get to know each other again.’” Richard spoke as the rest of us all sat around holding microphones in our hands, getting ready to perform.

“Well, we’re coming out with our new EP that we wrote like maybe 85% of it and we’re really really excited for the people to listen to it. Just going around and spreading our music and hopefully go around the country.” Chris smiled as he looked directly into the camera and cleared his throat. Now it’s time to introduce ourselves..

“Hola, soy Erick.”

“I’m Christopher.”

“I’m Joel.”

“I’m Richard.”

“Yo soy Zabdiel y nosotros somos – ”

“CNCO.”

“Y bueno este es nuestro más reciente sencillo, De Cero.” Zabdiel spoke as he started to strum his guitar. Music is a powerful weapon and can be used in any way you want. A love song to somebody? You got it. Breaking up and moving on? You’ll find one. Going out with friends and partying the night away? Pretty easy to find. Wanting to start over with someone you love? That’s promising..

“Niña, tanto tiempo

¿Qué estás haciendo?

¿Qué es de tu vida?

Dicen que estás sufriendo

Creo que tengo

Una salida”

I’m talking to her through the lyrics without mentioning her name. This is my apology and it’s the only way I can talk about it in public without Johann spilling the beans. I frowned as I brought the mic up to my lips, continuing the next verse.

“Cuando dejemos el orgullo

Y las barreras entre tú y yo

Soltamos lo malo

Nos inventamos un atardecer

Sin mente yo me entregaré

El pasado olvidamos”

I pictured her face and thought about her listening to us perform this song. I wonder if she would even listen to this and know that I’m sorry? I’m singing this for you, (Y/N)..

“Y de cero empezamos

Otro chance nos damos los dos

Mejor dejemos la estupidez (Oh)

Que el amor llega solo una vez

De cero empezamos

Otro chance nos damos tú y yo

Mejor dejemos la estupidez

Que el amor llega solo una vez”

I never thought I would relate so much to a song as I do now. I don’t want to give up on the possibility that we can make us work, but considering the way things are right now, I don’t think she’ll even give me the time of day.

Erick started to sing his next part as I thought about what I’ll do if she were to take me back. I’ll definitely work harder to make sure she feels loved and not a second choice ever again, that’s for damn sure. Have I even considered the possibility that she would just tell me to leave and never see her again? Yes.. yes, I’ve thought about that.

I heard Christopher’s voce start singing and knew my part was almost here. If I can’t have her, I at least want someone who will treat her like I should’ve done. Someone who will give her all the love she deserves and never make her second guess herself. Someone who will make time for her, make her happy and never break her heart. If it’s not me, it’s definitely not Johann. I need to know that she’ll be in good hands if I don’t get a second chance.

“Can we accept all of our differences

And put aside all of the pettiness

Just forget, no regret

I'll take you anywhere you wanna go

I got so much I want to show

Let's restart and we'll go far”

I guess I got so caught up with the cncowners shipping me with Emilia so much that I started to believe that there was something between us. I became nervous whenever I was around her and felt butterflies in my stomach, but nothing compared to the feeling I had whenever I was with (Y/N).

I never knew I could feel like this. Listen to my heart, (Y/N). Can you hear it sing? Please come back to me and forgive everything..

I can’t get that image out of my head. Johann’s hands resting on her waist… his lips just inches away from hers. She’s been seeing him more and more since I left and is getting comfortable around him. My mind became all discombobulated after that video and my heart literally ached at the thought of her falling for someone new.. someone like Johann.

Before I knew it, the song was over and we were free to get up and walk around. “Thank you for doing this for us. You guys were amazing!”

“Thank you for having us.” Richard smiled and shook hands with the video producer. I stood up and stretched, craning my neck back and forth. “We’ll have this video up soon and notify you guys when it’s posted.”

I zoned out the conversations around me as I thought about Richard’s words he said to me that night.

“What are you going to do about it?”

That’s a good question. A very good question indeed..

Next Chapter

~~

Wanna be tagged for future fics? 

@apla-o-eaytos-mou​ @pretendcnco​ @joelitos-baby​ @chellybear98​ @ericksmamita​ @littlestripmix​ @pizzaspirits​ @theweirdsideofstuff​ @cncoaddicted​ @prettymuch-cnco​ @guitargirl006 @cncoawo​ @ash-zahira​ @ashhemmingsstylesvelez​ @cncohhhhwoah @pimentelssmile​ @shordyfromdablock​ @h-bea92​ @xxxstormyninixxx​ @buttercup-chey​ @cncogirl18​ @urafakebetch​ @boundtobreakk

[crazycookiemaniac]

Omg why are you losing so many followers youve been drawing gay shit for forever??? (Or maybe i as a gay was just interpreting it that way)

Because I literally spammed people every day for one week lmao. And also, a lot of people follow others for specific content. The moment I stop drawing that exact thing they followed me for, they unfollow me. There are also accounts that follow just to make you follow them & if you don’t, they unfollow you after a while. There’s people who followed me for haikyuu & weren’t interested in BC content, and there were people who followed me for BC content but got showered in gay art instead and that was not their cuppa tea. 

But mostly, i start appearing on people’s feed the more I post. So having me post incessantly for one week made me show up on feeds that I hadn’t shown up for  a good while, so there were probably people who forgot they had followed me in the first place & me posting was a reminder to unfollow.

Truthfully, follower counts are dumb. Yes, it is important for you to have a high follower count for you to get attention, but the amount of people actually following you if you don’t have a consistent art style & rarely ever post something with different vibes than your usual ones, is equal or less than 1% of your total amount of following.

My instagram tells me I have 43k. I do not have 43k people following me. I’ve had 43k that once saw my account & pressed the follow button, but their feeds are filled up with other people’s accs that interest them more than mine (as well as my own feed does not show all the content of the 200+ something people I follow, unless I scroll down till the depths of hell to find every single post on that day and then do so on the next day as well).

Essentially, 95% of your followers are there because of content. They want to see what entertains them. Most of them don’t care about the artist and don’t interact with them at all. Many of them are scared to, given the high follower count. Social media & big accounts make people forget that there are other, real, living & breathing people that are behind them all.

So, to many, I was just a random artist they found and “lol”ed at one of my comics & pressed follow without thinking about it. Most of them don’t go to my account and see all other art I’ve posted to see if they actually like what I do, or me as a person and as an artist at all.

People who don’t know this get really discouraged when they don’t earn a lot of followers, or when they lose a lot (like I did). And some people think you gotta have hundreds of thousands to be famous. I’ve seen accs going around that paid for ads, that had over 150k followers and less than 1k likes on their posts.

Truly famous, loved, growing and/or steady accounts have an amount of likes per post proportional to their follower count. For example, if someone has 150k followers, most of their posts will vary from 20k to 100k likes.

When I was growing my account because I hopped in the fandom bandwagon and stupid little me didn’t know that would only make me crash later, I had like 20~30k and some of my posts reached more than 20k likes (because people liked my stupid comics). Nowadays, I’m not part of the fandom that made me grow anymore. I’m part of a very underrated one (Black Clover), as well a I am drawing a very underrated ship (LuGna) that above all else is getting hated on. I have everything against me in this, so it’s no wonder I lost so many followers.

They didn’t wanna see gay art. They didn’t wanna see Black Clover. They didn’t even know what the fuck was going on. Not everyone paid attention or kept up with my warnings. Despite me explaining multiple times in multiple posts what the Thunder Flames project was about, a lot of people still didn’t know what I was doing that for.

The thing about being a big follower count is that, unless you’re actually loved for what you do (and to do that, once again, I need to emphasize that you need to keep a steady rhythm, a steady vibe, a steady you. Because people follow you for your first impression on them, and you gotta keep up to that first impression if you wanna keep your followers.

I’m unsteady. One look at my gallery and you’ll see how disorganized everything is. Oh, lookit, a 1 min speedpaint of a random drawing I did on an old piece of paper! And right on the left there’s a stupid random comic I did–on the right there’s this super detailed, shaded drawing I’ve done that actually looks terrible to me and I will 100% archive it later, and then there’s B&W mixed with gray shaded, flat colored and fully shaded characters of different fandoms + OCs from commissions and whatever else. 

The thing is, I made my follower count based on a fandom, and now that I’m not there most of that follower count does not have me on their feed. And most of them do not want me on their feed. Now, I’m trying to build a follower count for who I am as an artist, because the few people who have actually stayed and followed me throughout the years know how inconsistent I am in terms of art style, fandoms and everything else.

A solution to this would me either keep creating/posting the same thing all over again (just in different patterns), or creating original content (which I do plan on doing at some point). But for now? Since my follower count does absolutely not reflect on how many people actually like me and/or my art, I’m going to be as chaotic as fucking ever and do whatever the fuck I want.

So yes, I do find it comical that I lost 1k followers over this and am not fazed in the very least, especially because I literally foreshadowed losing 1k and hit the fucking jackpot.

The only reason I’m talking about this at all is because 1- it’s impossible not to notice my follower count decreasing, especially because every new 1k I thank people publicly through stories; 2- some people were actually worried I was upset over it and I have to 3- show that I am not, while simultaneously trying to show people that just because you’re losing followers doesn’t mean you have to stop doing what you want to create content to please people. It doesn’t mean you should be upset, and it doesn’t mean that what you’re doing is bad or wrong.

It means you’re fucking renewing your followers & you’ll now grow for what you’re trying to grow for, bitch. That’s what it’s all about.

Obviously, people do take a great risk doing this. I am taking a great risk doing this. I could’ve lost 5k, I could’ve lost 10k. But I only lost 1k! And that’s because I believe in the project I worked on; I knew there were people out there who enjoyed what I was doing and it’s on them that I was focused on. On the people who supported me AND my art, not just that one single funny comic post I did 3 years ago.

This answer is 100% a lot longer than what you could’ve possibly expected for and I am typing this while being awake for more than 24h so I’m sure that I’ve repeated myself a lot and that there are a lotta typos or w/e and I apologize for that!! But I’m too lazy to go back to read everything over & turn this into a neat post & I’m pretty sure I could answer your question in the first paragraph.

Oh and also. Yes. Yes I have been drawing gay shit ever since I’ve become an artist because I’m so fucking pissed at the lack of canon gay content in a way that it’s depicted as a normal fucking romantic couple instead of having eeeeeeeeveryone point their finger to the gay couple and scream “HEY THAT’S GAY!!! THIS CAN’T BE PART OF THIS VERY HETEROSEXUAL SHOW WHERE EVERYONE IS OBVIOUSLY HETEROSEXUAL EVEN THOUGH NONE OF THE CHARACTERS HAVE EVER SAID THAT EXPLICITLY BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT THE CREATORS ARE EITHER HETEROSEXUAL OR TOO AFRAID TO LOSE AUDIENCE IF THEY TREAT GAY PEOPLE AS NORMAL PEOPLE!??!! WHAT SORT OF ABSURD NONSENSE IS THAT??!! GAY PEOPLE AREN’T NORMAL!! THEY’RE GAY AND THEY SHOULD HAVE A GAY SHOW JUST FOR THEM IF THEY WANNA GET SCREENTIME” and yadda yadda yadda.

I’m tired of this bullshit. Ever since I was an artist I’ve been rooting for gay ships in shonen manga while knowing they would never happen just because they were gay, and now that we are in our Blessed-By-Satan, Pandemic-Chaotic, What-The-Fuck-Is-Going-On, We-Don’t-Know-If-We-Wanna-Go-Back-Or-To-The-Future-Or-Just-IDK-Fucking-Die year 2020, in which the LGBT community is thriving and being louder than ever to fight for our rights, Me, in my twenty four years of fucking age, having gone through several fucking disappointments ONLY regarding this matter, am sitting here on my ass, hopeful as all galactic, glittery shit that for some fucking reason, my new OTP formed by very underrated characters from this very underrated franchise in the southern and western communities, becomes canon because my stupid eyes can see chemistry between them even though those stupid haters’ can’t. But that’s because they’re stupid and homophobic, and they really should just shut the fuck up. I don’t wanna dream, I want to believe. Let a bitch pray in peace.

But even if I’m getting ready for disappointment, I’m gonna make this project happen and I’m gonna have a shit ton of artbooks from this Thunder Flames project inside my fucking garage if no one wants to buy them. But I am going to invest a shit ton of money in it and I am going to have these artbooks come to life. Because I am spiteful and petty and homophobes should shut the fuck up, and I wanna do what I wanna do bc as an independent artist, I’m building my future with my own two, very toned and buff by now from all the drawing I did, hands. 

God fucking damn it.

Jesus christ I’m just rambling at this point, I’m so sorry. If anyone ever reads this out of context people are going to be so confused.

But that’s fine. They won’t. You know why? Cuz I got almost 11k followers here on tumblr but less than 0.5% gives a shit that I’m here, so I’m safe.

Have a nice day, drink your water and fuck homophobes. Peace

[bbyboybrock--archived]

Cherry (Katrina Stuart Imagine)

Summary: Based on the song Cherry by Harry Styles. You can listen to the song before, after, or while reading. 

Don't you call him "baby" We're not talking lately Don't you call him what you used to call me

Note: *I originally wrote this story to be from a female point of view, but I left the pronouns/description vague so any guy, girl, or nonbinary reader can be comfortable* (I’m bi and one of the times I was listening to this song and thought that the narrative of a wlw relationship where one of the woman tried to hide this part of herself would make the already emotional song even more emotional. But I also didn’t want exclude anyone from reading this narrative.)

Written: 2020

Word Count: 1,913

Warnings: swearing and angst

Masterlist

I scan the party, looking for at least one of my friends. I don’t know why I even come to these things anymore with them. Every party in LA is the same. We’re at some influencer’s house, the lights are off, some strange led light is on to give the party a vibe, and the trashy music is too loud. The music isn’t too trashy. The self-proclaimed DJ, which always happens to be another influencer, just plays the top 40s with occasional remixes. My friends and I always go together, but as soon as we cross the threshold into the party, we go our separate ways. Those of us who are in a relationship take their significant other and find a corner to sit at for the rest of the night. Some of us who are single go find someone to hook up with and possibly start a relationship. The rest of us who are single, and prefer life that way, go look for the nearest bottle of alcohol and proceed to get as fucked up as they can before one of us finds them to drag them home. And then there’s me, the somewhat responsible one of the group. Single and not looking to mingle. I drink enough so I don’t get too drunk but don’t look like a loser. I’m the one that has to grab all of my friends by the end of the night and make sure they get on an uber home. I always take the drunkest friend home, which almost always happens to be my roommate, just to make sure they don’t die choking on their own vomit.

I wasn’t always like this, I was more fun. A few months ago I would have been like my couple friends in my group. I would have ditched the rest of my friends to find some private section of the party so I could just be alone with the one I love. With her. But that ended just as quickly and suddenly as it began. And I know she’s moved on, she’s with someone else. Well, back with someone else. The only reason I cleaned up my act is so that when I go to these parties, I don’t look like a complete mess on the off chance I see her and her friends. I know she goes to these parties.

Her friend group is just like mine when it comes to parties, they have to be at every single one. They used to be my friends too. That brief time we were together, we almost always hung out with them when we weren’t hanging out at one of our places. They didn’t even know we were together. Maybe they did, but they didn’t pry. They knew she had just broken up with her longterm boyfriend before we started hanging out, and they were still friends with him. She first introduced me as her friend. Which is fine, we were basically friends, we just did more than what just friends do. When she told me that she “couldn’t do this anymore” I understood. This was too new for her. I was too new for her. But, when I found out that she had gotten back with her ex, on social media no less, it broke me. Because she meant she couldn’t do it anymore, with me.

For a few weeks, I became isolated from everyone. I stopped hanging out with her friends, I barely hung out with my friends. They only time they would see me was when they invited me to parties. Then I would become like one of my irresponsible friends who got blackout drunk just to numb the pain of losing her. Out of nowhere, I snapped out of it. I unfollowed her on everything, deleted her number, and filled my life with distractions. And for a while, everything has been fine. I keep an eye for her at parties to avoid her. Every time I see a girl with the slightest tint of blue in her hair, I turn the other way. It’s annoying when nearly every girl in LA has some sort of blue in her hair.

But then there are still moments like this where, out of the corner of my eye, I see one of her friends. And normally, they are either too busy doing something stupid to notice me or I run away before they can see me. However this time, by the time I register anything, it’s too late. One of them’s spotted me and came up to me.

“Hey, Y/N, long time no talk!” Colby tries to talk loudly over the music. He goes in for a quick and I carefully hug him back.

“Hey, Colby, how have you been?” Out of all of her friends, I got the closest to Colby. Which is strange considering that his best friend is dating her. Colby was also the only I knew for sure that knew about the two of us. He walked in on us at a party one time. I knew he wouldn’t say anything, but that’s when she freaked and ended things.

“Want to go somewhere quieter?” He whispers in my ear. I can smell the alcohol on him.

I nod yes and Colby grabs my hand and leads me out of the party so we don’t get separated. We end up in the front yard, where there is barely anyone. Colby lets go of my hand and I follow him to a little couch. I sit next to him, finish the drink in my cup, and start to twist the ring on my finger. It’s her’s. When she was taking the things she left at my place out of my room, she left it on my dresser when I would see. I like to think she left it for me on purpose. Like an “I’m sorry that I was ashamed of our entire relationship and I broke up with you to go back with my ex” apology gift. I wear it every day as a reminder; like I have a little piece of her.

“I know we talk every once in a while, but I haven’t seen you in ages. How have you been?” Colby asks breaking the silence.

“You know, life is okay. Could be better, but it’s fine. I’ve been working on my music and all that. What about you?”

“Everything is great. Work is doing well. I’m glad I ran into you actually. I’m pretty sure they were going to ice me and you know I hate that shit.” Colby laughs and out of politeness, I laugh too.

“You guys were always the life of the party.” I hate to admit it, but I like hanging out with her friends more than I do my friends. They’re more like a family, they’re always together, even at parties. I miss them.

“You should come hang out with us sometime.”

“Yeah, I would love to,” I say, but we both know I can’t.

“She’s here you know,” Colby says what we both were thinking. Of course, she’s here’s. Wherever her friends go, she follows.

“I had a feeling. If I wanted to avoid her completely I would stop coming to parties or move out of Los Angles completely.” We sit in silence staring at a group of friends doing something stupid for a camera.

And just like she could sense that we were talking about her, I hear her laugh. I make the mistake of looking and watch her come out of the house with him. They’re talking and laughing about something that must have happened inside. She stops when we lock eyes.

“Oh fuck,” I mutter under my breath. I feel Colby move beside me.

“Hey, Sam, Kat,” Colby says waving.

“Oh hey, we just came out to get some air. Devyn and Tara are looking for you inside, Colby. Something about you escaping?” Sam says. He looks between us like he interrupted something. I never officially met Sam. Everything I knew about him was through social media post and from hearing his friends talk about him.

“Fine, but if I have to go down, you’re going down with me, Sam. Let’s go.” Colby gets up and squeezes my shoulder as a sign. I know what he’s doing, he’s hoping that Kat and I will talk and get over this. Colby hates conflict and drama, which is why he is one of the few people who still talk to me.

“Oh, baby, wait,” Kat grabs Sam’s arm and whispers something. Before she leaves she hesitantly kisses him on the cheek like she doesn’t know if she should do it in front of me.

I wish she wouldn’t call him “baby.” That’s what she use to call me. And for a second, when the words left her lips, my heart skipped a beat because I thought they were for me. But they weren’t so it’s killing me.

“Y/N?” Kat asks softly. God, I missed hearing her say my name. And her accent, it still makes my heart flutter. I miss it all so fucking much it hurts.

“Yes, Katrina?” I can’t let her know how much she hurt me, or how much I still want her in my life.

“I feel bad about how I left things. When we got together, I wasn’t in the right headspace and it wasn’t right for me to take advantage of your openness and love just so I could stop feeling like shit. I’m sorry.”

I want to scream at her that I was in love with her. That I’m still in love with her. That I risked every personal rule I had about dating someone in LA just so I could be with her. But I can’t. I can’t because there is a part of me that knows that she was in love with me too. Or at least, she was falling in love with me. We were together for 6 out of the 7 months she was broken up with Sam. Every aspect of our relationship was new for her. I want to scream and shake her and tell her that it wasn’t a phase. You can’t fake that sort of emotion during a phase.

“I get it, you don’t have to keep apologizing. I’ll admit, I can tell that you’re at your best. That you’re happier with Sam than you ever were with me. I’ll also admit that I’m selfish so I hate that you’re at your best and I’m not the one at your side. But I’ll get over it eventually. It’ll just take more time for me to get over you than you getting over me.” I pat Kat’s knee before getting up and heading back into the party. My hand rests on the doorknob and I turn back to look at Kat. She’s looking down at her knee, gently touching where I touched.

“Kat?” I ask gently. She jumps up and stares at me.

“Yes, Y/N?” She responds softly.

“Does he take you walking around his favorite gallery?” Out of context, this seems like a random question. But I know that Kat knows what I mean, or I at least I hope she remembers.

Kat looks at me hard for a second, and then her expression softens. She looks away quickly. Her silence is a loud enough answer for me. I look down before throwing myself back into the party.

[silenthillmutual]

1-10 pathologic :)

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?*

for pathologic 2 alone i do not get aglaya/artemy. in classic at least you have a lot of conversations with her and you get to know her more as a person and her interest in saving the town as well as herself and she seems more well-rounded whereas in 2 you have like three hostile conversations with her wherein she sends one of your best friends into a suicidal spiral and tells you she deserves more pity than the indigenous population dying of plague in the termitary and it’s like. you want me to run away with her? really? you want me to find that romantic? uh.

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?*

stakh/artemy are just brothers to me. at least in classic. in patho2 even that is on thin fucking ice after the way stakh treats artemy. i can get him being pissed that artemy didn’t stay in contact but that like doesn’t justify the racist shit he says to you good god.

3. Have you ever unfollowed someone over a fandom opinion?

i’m very selective with who i follow to begin with, but i have unfollowed people over fandom opinions that hit on things i have blacklisted. this fandom has a tendency to uwu-ify things that are triggers for me and like. i’m not interested in seeing things that are serious topics for me being turned into cutesy quirky things, especially when there are really bad and negative stereotypes associated with them.

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are they a popular OTP?*

aglaya/artemy isn’t that popular from what i can tell but stakh/artemy is relatively popular. it doesn’t bug me that much unless i’m hypomanic. i just don’t like the posts or tweets....sorry friends (pensive emoji)

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?* 

patho fandom hasn’t ruined a pairing for me because it just isn’t big enough to. i also tend to keep to small enough circles in fandoms that my enjoyment of a pairing really isn’t hampered by overexposure. i am really picky with interpretation though, but not to the point where it ruins the pairing for me. just to the point where i kinda wish people would actually engage with the media itself insead of just the fandom. but again that’s....more of a jojo issue than a patho issue.

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?*

not for pathologic lmao. the closest i can get is exposure to ships i hate making me hate them a little less (like aglaya/artemy and stakh/artemy) but not to the point of actively liking them as anything more than exes or one-sided. but uh. i will say that constant twitter exposure to vlad jr has made me able to stomach him more. still can’t get behind vlad jr/artemy that is just. hm. huge no.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?*

there are things i was okay with until i learned more about them and thought more about them and went “on second thought, no”. like people calling artemy a himbo or that trend of herb bride daniil...yikes.

8. Have you received anon hate? What about?*

yes. i have gotten some for acting immaturely, most of which i have apologized for and don’t feel like rehashing. but i’ve also gotten some, mmm, idk if you’d call it hate or just hassling for running the blocklist. just people leaving unsolicited comments on it back when i had it open to leave comments on. i’ve also received some transphobic hate that was not on anon but we’re not discussing that on main<3

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

oh, the usual suspects. the vlads and georgiy. i actually sort of hate georgiy the most because he reminds me so much of my family. that and the eugenics tbh...georgiy my detested i wish i could throw you through a window.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

idk if you’d call this an arc or not but i hate that artemy can respond to comments about the kin by disowning them in patho 2. feels gross, man.

salty asks

[isoboto]

will you please fuck off back to wherever pit of hell you came from. it was nice around here for a little without having to worry about your ignorant racist ass. newsflash asshole! you're an idiot who can't stop talking out of her ass because you have nothing meaningful to say. need i remind to your precious followers that you've said multiple racial slurs, and now you're going as far as to make fun of a 16 year old girl who was murdered. fucking cunt kys and go to hell

- oh boy look at who is crawling back from hell to yell at a tiny insignificant blog lol. didn’t come on Tumblr for like 4 months and immediately got sent a welcome party when I got back. I am truly flattered. way to make me feel very important, girl

now, before we proceed, here is a visual representation of me at all times, in case you have trouble understanding who and what I am

okay. ready? let’s go through your claims:

1) pretty sure none of my followers care or pay attention to tumblr drama -- neither do I.

you seem pretty new to this social media stuff, so let me explain: on social media, there is this thing called ✨Unfollow✨ if followers don’t like the content the poster is posting anymore, or ✨Block✨ if followers would like to never see the poster again. if you run into issues while unfollowing or blocking me, google is your friend.

i had always thought nobody cares about me, but it truly warmed my heart to know sjw anons care about me a lot.

2) I actually put a lot of thought into stuff I curated and wrote about. anything and everything you said/posted online is recorded, thus I wouldn’t put it on my dash unless I know for sure i could defend it.

but it’s okay if you don’t know that. it’s easy to miss when you only come to my blog to act all high and mighty.

here are the long posts I’ve written or shared. These, in my humble opinion, are an interesting read. Perhaps you should read them with some open-mindedness i’m sure you have.

- (Not) Taking A Knee, In Sports

- National Horny League Podcast

- Post-“Logan Couture Got Sucker-Punched”

- Bust the BLM Myth: Does the Majority of Black People Want To Defund the Police?

- Letitia Wright Should Not Have Apologized For Doing Nothing Wrong

- Hunter Biden & The Biden Inc. 

For interesting things I’ve shared, see this tag collection: Little Interesting Things. It’s a mix of hockey funny tidbits, wacky knowledge and political opinions.

3) ah, so we’re back to "Eva said slurs!!!" claim. are you the slurs anon then? (she gave herself the nickname, not me)

unless you have new evidence on me saying "multiple racial slurs", your false allegations have been debunked here and here. You’ve earned your honourable Get A Load Of This Dumb Idiot badge for your top-tier fact-checking skill.

The entire saga is tagged under Once Upon An Anon: SPECIAL! False Racism Edition! in case you want to refresh your memory

4) in references to this post: i mean, i don’t specifically make fun of the girl, i am making fun of how public opinion reacted to it.

here is a story that you might not have know or heard of because the media didn’t cry like a banshee about it: Ohio girl, 13, stabbed to death, and another 13-year-old girl is charged with her murder

and then the stupid blue checkmark twitter defending knife fights. oh oops i mean the Brilliant Intelligence, Big Brain CRT Defender

Twitter thread

If the cops didn’t intervene, you have that a girl being stabbed to death by her friend. If the cops intervened (ie. yelling everybody to Get Down multiple times and had to fire his gun to protect the girl in pink), the media faked outrage.

take your pick. whichever way the cops did, the media and the sjw would insert CRT racial justice bullshit in.

moreover, i’ll address this before you claim this and that: people claiming cops shouldn’t have pulled a gun, they hadn’t do their research into police work because police are trained to pull an equal or higher force on the suspect. Donut Operator and Officer 401 did very good job giving insights to how police work.

i am of the opinion police should be abolished and people should be allowed to freely armed themselves, like how Cheran works. but i will and can play devil’s advocate -- frankly because sjws can’t make up their mind. people shouldn’t own guns, and only police can. then when police deploy their guns -- regardless of context, it is automatically an unjustified shooting.