#apologies for the vent I promise this will be the only time I bring it up

[vevobly]

Being Jackie Taylor's Girlfriend Headcanons (Pre-Crash) [Part 1]

A/N: I honestly don't know what to think of Jeff. I mean, he's a completely good guy in my opinion if you take away the fact he cheated on his ex-girlfriend with her own best friend and proceeded to pose as someone else while blackmailing his wife about the trauma she went through as an angsty problematic teen later on as an adult in his life.

Given Jackie's desire to maintain a perfect image and the fact that it's 1996, your relationship with her is undoubtedly kept a secret from most people.

You occasionally ask her if you'll ever make your relationship public, and she always insists that she wants to, but she can't—at least, not now. Both of you know how difficult it would be if your relationship were out in the open.

Jackie makes promises to you about going public, but when you bring it up, she either changes the subject or ignores it entirely. You guys get into arguments because of it sometimes. But nothing you and Jackie would ever dwell on for too long.

With Jackie constantly trying to live up to everyone's expectations about her, you're the only person she can truly let her guard down with. Of course, Shauna is there for her too but it's different. You're her support, the one person (other than Shauna) who sees through behind the whole image she works so hard to maintain.

If it wasn't already obvious, you're Jackie's escape from her life. With you, she can be herself. She doesn't have to be perfect or in control—she can just be Jackie. And I mean, she can be like that too with Shauna, but it's different. It's just different, okay? She doesn't always share everything going on in her life with Shauna, contrary to what everyone else thinks.

She often vents to you about the pressure she's under, the expectations placed on her, and everything else. Sometimes it's more of a rant, but you listen either way. You're always there to comfort her, reminding her that she doesn't have to be perfect. That you, along with Shauna and other people. will always love her for who she really is. You don't care if she's perfect or not, she'll always be your girlfriend no matter what.

You're not a big of sports but when it comes to Jackie and soccer? You are her biggest fan. Whether you're watching her practice, attending her games, or cheering for her on the sidelines; Jackie LOVES having you there. It gives her a huge boost of confidence knowing you're there to support her.

You two even have a little tradition: after her big wins, you two go somewhere private and share these really cute moments together. Sappy stuff, very incredibly sappy stuff.

Despite how she usually is, Jackie can be extremely protective of you. She makes sure to keep it very subtle but she keeps an eye on anyone who gets too close or questions your relationship.

When someone flirts with you? Jackie tries really hard to keep it cool, but her jealousy just gets the better of her sometimes. And since she can't exactly confront the person flirting with you, she resorts to other ways. Usually passive aggressive behavior. And if she's feeling petty, she might even direct some of that passive aggressiveness toward you. But she'll ignore you mainly for a few hours or days.

Balancing her relationship with you and the expectations placed on her only makes things harder for Jackie. You don't always bring it up, but you can sense just how torn she is between wanting to be with you and maintaining her "perfect" image. It makes you question your relationship sometimes, which one does she value more: you or her image?

While you TRY to be understanding, there are times when her desire (if you didn't know any better - obsession) with perfection frustrates you. I mean, it doesn't happen all the time. But when it does? It generally led to the two of you arguing or fighting. You both tend to ignore each other until one of you finally gets tired of it and apologizes.

Despite those rough moments between the two of you, you know Jackie really does care deeply about you—she's just struggling a lot. (Natalie tells you that's no excuse for her to be such a piece of shit towards you sometimes though)

Since your relationship is a secret, you guys both rely heavily on subtle gestures to show your love in public. Jackie will give you lingering touches when no one's looking, place a hand on your arm, brush her shoulder against yours, or sneak glances at you from across the room. Small things, yet they never fail to make your cheeks heat up.

Oh, and she also writes you these sweet little notes from time to time! Either slipping it into your locker or leaving it in your bag. It's nothing big, but it sure does make your heart flutter.

[a-lonely-dunedain]

Y’know I’m really starting to hope that our theory of how the For You Page works (that’s it’s from your mutual’s mutual’s mutual’s likes) isn’t true. Because uh, opened my page today to find

Terfs of all people. Lots of em. What the fuck. If that page works how we thought it works someone has been liking some fucking vile posts. Not trying to imply my beloved mutuals are knowingly following terfs, odds are whoever the culprit is just has their likes hidden and doesn’t post that shit on main, but it really fucking bothers me to see it. I mean we’re talking those fucking crazy kill all men types. I feel sick. I saw one saying that four your old boys are inherently sexual predators for fucks sake I’m going to punch something

Anyway that’s why I REALLY hope we were wrong about how that page works and it was just the tumblr algorithm screwing up again, because I hate the thought that I’m, albeit distantly and unwillingly, connected to those circles. I mean normally I just find it funny when weird shit shows up on that tab but now I just feel gross and sad.

I guess if I wanted to be optimistic I could hope it’s not based on likes but just interaction in general. So maybe it’s only there because a distant mutual in-law has been fighting these weirdos in their reblogs and comments?

Also once again, and I cannot stress this enough, I am Not accusing anyone I follow of secretly being a terf or following someone who’s following a terf, ily all (/p) and no one here has ever said anything to my knowledge that would make me doubt that you’re decent people. I’m just angry at whoever or whatever algorithm decided to show me those posts. Like there’s SO many of them. I mean I am neither trans nor a man and my mental health is going down the shitter just reading this, I hate to imagine what this is like for guys or trans folks holy shit.

[ghostofhyuck]

NCT Dream finding out that their idol! gf overworked. 

Mark Lee

Mark learned that you've been promoting your comeback with a fever when one of your co-members told him. You're passionate about your job and this comeback is one of your favorite because of the concept, that's why you couldn't bear to miss the promotion. So when your boyfriend show up to your dorm uninvited, you knew that you don't have to hide it from him anymore. He bought you (and your co-members) food! plus medicine and energy drinks for you. He lets you rest and while you rest, you two talked about your situation calmly. Mark understands your sentiments but asks you to promise him that you won't overwork yourself. 

Huang Renjun

Same case with Mark, I feel like you'll hide that you're promoting the comeback with a fever! Not to mention, you've been working nonstop since the start of the year. Comeback, concerts, solo activities, and another comeback. It's bound for your body to shut down. So when Renjun found out through your co-member, I feel like he'll be mad at you! Why didn't you tell him!? So when he visited you, bringing care package like food, and medicine, it'll come with lots of lots of lecture (lovingly) from your boyfriend! He loves you so much but you should look after your health. Renjun also told you that do it not for him, but for your fans. You only nod, thinking that you're lucky that Renjun's there for you. 

Lee Jeno

Jeno would be shocked when he learned that you went on a short hiatus due to health concerns. He didn't notice it because you would convince him that you're fine everytime you two would meet up or talk. Once he learned the reason why behind you went hiatus, Jeno immediately called you. You already accepted that Jeno will be mad at you, but the first thing he asked was, "are you okay?" and that made you cry. You couldn't help but to vent on your boyfriend who silently comforted you. You told him that your health is declining these days and you couldn't properly function anymore. Jeno understands your sentiments and could only assure you that your health should come first. He then tells you that he'll drop by at your place so that he can take care of you personally. <3

Lee Donghyuck

"You've been coughing every minute, are you okay?" Haechan sent the message and then glances at the screen on his laptop. You're having a random live with a fellow member at the moment. She's building a lego set and wanted you to join, so despite having a cough and fever, you helped her. But it was quick to notice how you glance at your phone from time to time because of your boyfriend's messages. Haechan can see how your forehead creased when you read his message so he sent another one, "don't be angry, im supposed to be angry! why didn't you told me you were sick!?" once the live ended. You have to face an angry Haechan who nagged you for hours because you hid your sickness from him. In the end, you apologized to him because you knew he's just concerned for you. 

Na Jaemin

You thought that it wouldn't be obvious but when you saw how Jaemin's face went from smiling to a concerned look, you knew that you were bad at hiding. "You look pale," he pointed out. "Pale? what do you mean, I'm always pale," you lied, laughing awkwardly. But Jaemin crossed his arms and then stared at you with a serious expression. That's why you have no choice but to tell your boyfriend that you actually came back from the hospital because you have to take a medicines for your health. Once Jaemin learned this he'll be disappointed that you hid your sickness from him. "You got me worried you know that? Tell me next time so that I can accompany," he said to you. "Babe, if you accompany me, they'll know that we're dating." "I don't care about that, I care about your health." 

Zhong Chenle

You're promoting at the same with NCT Dream, and during your promotions, you accidentally injured your legs. You tried to brush it off thinking that it's just a mild sprain, but after your pre-recording stage, you couldn't help but feel that the pain is striking on your whole legs already. So when you got off the stage, you were limping until you reached the backstage where Chenle is coincidentally at the hallway. He'll be surprised to see you, but then helps you have seat first. He'll ask if you're okay and you tried to brush it off, that's when your boyfriend became angry, "what do you mean it's nothing!? you're limping! stop forcing yourself or it'll get worse," his tone was a bit harsh but you know that he's just worried about you, and you couldn't help but to hug him to seek comfort. Chenle, even though he's still mad, hugs you back. 

Park Jisung

It was late when you realized that you made a mistake of giving your fans an update through bubble message because Jisung also suscribes to your bubble! So when he called you a few minutes after you sent those message, you just realized what you have done. "What do you mean you're sick?" he asked with a concerned tone. You told him that it's just a fever and you were advised to take a few weeks to rest, "a few week rests for a fever doesn't sound good to me." his tone became more serious, that's why you immediately apologize to him because you knew that Jisung's always there to remind you about your health and well-being! So learning that you're sick means that you just ignore his words. "Take care of yourself okay? I can't be there because I'm out the country but please, please take care of yourself okay?" you only smile as you said okay to him. 

[lale-txt]

❉ in a long-distance relationship ↳ w/ Nanami & Naoya (separate)

a/n: getting into my clown car because originally i was planning to write this for four characters in total, then i blinked and suddenly i had written over 2k words in headcanons and drabbles and decided to call it a day. i personally want to thank Nanami and Naoya for representing the both flawless and horrendous ends of the spectrum regarding my taste in fictional men ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

contains: headcanons are sfw & gn!reader, drabbles are ns.fw & afab!reader. i'll put individual warnings before each drabble later in the text.

word count: 2.3k

❦ 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈

the driest texter known to man

it’s not like Nanami won’t think of you and text you throughout the day, it’s more that his texts read as if they’re coming from your tax consultant rather than from the love of your life

“Arrived at the accommodation. Room is very clean. About to head out for work, will call you later tonight. Love you, K. PS: Heard Lawson has cabbage on sale this week.”

he’s never beating the old man allegations

it’s an obstacle that yours and his work often requires you both to travel and spend time apart, but to Nanami, once committed, long distance was never a reason for things not to work out between you

he keeps his promises and calls when he said he would, he sends you flowers when he can’t bring them back home in person and he orders you food when you’re having a rough day, staying on the phone with you while you eat and letting you vent if you need to 

when he misses you (which he always does), he lets you know. no matter how far apart, Nanami would never make you doubt if you’re on his mind and in his heart 

often he’d send you photos of his lunch or local specialities, sometimes photos from the local pigeons too when they’d pick up the crumbs of his sandwich at his feet

“Those two seem inseparable. Made me think of us. Miss your voice, will call you tonight. What are you having for lunch? Careful when you cut the cabbage.”

at night, after another draining day of fighting curses, the only thing keeping Nanami going is the prospect of hearing your voice over the speaker

he will close his eyes and imagine you snuggled up in bed while talking to him, waiting for him to come home, and oh, how badly he wants to be by your side and never let you go

cw: afab!reader (no pronouns used, 'cunt' and 'pussy' used to describe genitalia), phone sex, panty sniffing, masturbation (with said panties), dirty talk, breeding kink (no mention of pregnancy or babies), mention of: brat taming, mirror sex and hair pulling

“Sorry, love. Were you asleep already?”

Nanami’s voice is quiet, almost like an apology for calling you this late. He knows you’re always staying up and fighting your sleepiness, despite him telling you not to wait for him—he’s grateful you do though, because hearing your voice is the one thing that will get him through each day, no matter how long it drags on.

“Mhm, not quite yet,” you mumble into your phone and smile at the sound of his voice. “‘m all cozy in bed though, it still smells like you. Only missing your warmth.”

Nanami laughs quietly at the other end of the line. He has no problems imagining you right now, having the big bed you bought together all for yourself but still curling up on his side of the mattress, where his scent still lingers. He hums softly.

“That was quite the surprise I found in my pocket this morning.”

You hear some rustling sounds and a pair of pants getting unzipped, and the grin on your face widens. Putting your phone on speaker, you set it down on the pillow next to you and roll over on your back, feeling more awake now.

“Well? Did you like it?”, you coo.

“Loved it.”

The panties you slipped into Nanami’s jacket before he left are now dangling from his finger in the dim light of the bedside lamp. He picked them out for you a while ago and now you were simply returning the favor, knowing how lonely it can get on a solo mission. He closes his big fist around them and brings them to his face, inhaling your musk and making him groan quietly. His cock aches in his boxers, precum staining them slightly, but he doesn’t touch himself yet.

“God, I miss you,” he mutters after catching another whiff of your worn panties. “Want to taste you so badly, love. When I get home, I’ll have you sit on my face till your legs give out.”

You chuckle at the prospect of it. Wouldn’t be the first time.

“Did you touch yourself with my panties?”, you ask in a sultry voice and you can hear Nanami growl a little at the other end of the line.

“I’m doing it right now,” he replies in a husky voice, having his bottoms hastily pulled down his thighs and now fisting his cock with your panties wrapped around it. The fabric feels soft and expensive, and the thought of how they clung to your cunt when you soaked through them has his mind spinning circles.

“Good. I want to hear you cum,” you whisper, closing your eyes for a better imagination. “Tell me what you want to do with me when you’re back home.”

Nanami pumps his fat cock with one hand, the other holding his phone to his ear. He’s sprawled out in an armchair, head in the back of his neck, his eyes shut as well. His breath comes out raggedly.

“Gonna fill your pretty little cunt to the brim,” he mumbles. “Tongue, fingers, cock. Everything. Whatever you beg for, I’ll give it to you. Gonna pump you so full of my cum, you’ll have it ruin your panties for days, but you’d like that, don’t you?”

“Fuck,” you mewl at the other end of the line, kicking back the sheets and spreading your legs to touch yourself to his words. Your fingers reached nowhere as deep as Nanami's, but it was better than nothing.

“Gonna bend you over and fuck you on every flat surface in our house,” he rasps. “In front of the big mirror too, so you can see the faces you make when you cum on my cock. Wanna feel how tight you get when you’re milking me. As if you’re trying to remember the shape of my cock forever. Made for me, only me. And if you’re gonna be a brat, which I know you will, I’ll stuff your mouth with your panties and pull your hair till I fucked some obedience into you.”

Nanami groans; he is so close. Damn, if only you were here for him to bury himself in the warmth of your cunt. Your whimpering at the other end of the line and your panties wrapped around his cock as he pumps himself are enough to send him tumbling over the edge, a supernova of pent up lust and frustration unleashing within him. The silken fabric soaks up all of his cum, sticky and hot against his skin. He made a mess, but cleaning up was for later.

“You good, love?”, he asks in a raspy voice and can’t help but smile at the sound of your heavy breathing.

“Came so hard I saw stars a little,” you confess over the speaker and snicker. You’ll definitely have to change the sheets before Nanami gets home. As if you two wouldn’t ruin them anyway.

“Good, good,” he laughs. “Now sleep, dear, I kept you up for too long. I’ll be home tomorrow night, okay? Can’t wait to kiss you.”

❦ 𝐍𝐀𝐎𝐘𝐀

Naoya hates being apart from you and he doesn’t understand why you take on missions that require you to leave the Zen’in estate aka him

in his eyes, as his spouse there’s no need for you to work at all, you should just stay at home with him or accompany him on his business trips 

he can and he will yap about this while you pack your bags, while he drives you to the train station (he insists to escort you there himself), while carrying your luggage and even between goodbye kisses. seriously, this man never learned how to shut up in his entire life

the night prior, Naoya had made sure to leave plenty of hickeys all over your body, as a reminder who you belong to 

he’s clearly bored out of his mind without you around, your phone blowing up with text and voice messages from him, demanding your unrestricted attention and getting pouty when you don’t immediately reply to him

it’s not like Naoya is jealous or worried that you’d see someone else behind his back–his ego is too big to consider this even a possibility

he’s simply the undefeated champion in the pain in the ass competition 

he’ll act nonchalant when you call him once you’re back at your hotel, trying to sound as if he wasn’t pacing restlessly around all day until his phone finally lit up with your name on display

asking you about your day comes second, first you’ll have to listen to him whining how much it sucks without you around and that this’ll be the last time that he’s allowing you as your husband to go on a solo mission (he’s ignoring your unrestrained laughter about it), and that you’ll have to think of something to make it up to him on your way home which will be in 3 days, 11 hours and 27 minutes (he’s counting)

cw: afab!reader (no pronouns used, 'cunt' and 'pussy' used to describe genitalia), video call sex, dirty talk, masturbation, praise kink, mention of spitting, sweet talking Naoya into submission, he has nipple piercings in this one, Naoya being his own warning

“Seriously? You couldn’t wait three seconds to at least show me your face before flipping the camera to your dick?”

You lie on your stomach in a hotel bed that’s way too big for you alone, fresh out of the shower, glancing down at your phone in your hand. After a long day of fighting an extremely nasty curse, you crave nothing more than rubbing one out to the voice of your husband and passing out immediately afterwards. Your hips grind lazily into a pillow between your legs, feeling that familiar throb, while Naoya on the other end strokes himself on display as slowly, his thumb drawing circles over his leaking tip. His moans are slightly muffled over the speaker.

“Can’t help it, babe, I’ve been like this all day, aching for ya. Had my cock throbbing even at family dinner. Been thinking about nothing other than stuffing all of yer greedy holes. Just look–”

The movements of the video get a bit shaky when he fists his cock, pumping himself at a leisurely pace. You’ve memorized every vein of his cock, feeling your mouth water a little at the sight of it. While Naoya wasn’t a size king, he had the girth and you vividly remember how he knocked the air out of your lungs when he pounded you into the mattress for the very first time. You roll your hips some more, chasing for the right friction to get you off, the camera still aimed at your face. 

“Then gimme a show at least,” you whine and put on a small pout which you know Naoya can never resist. If there’s anything Naoya loves, then it’s attention and praise, and he is way too easy to bait into whatever could offer him that.

“Oh, ‘m gonna give yer a show, baby. Gonna make ya regret not being here with me. I’d have ya drooling all over my cock if yer were here with me now,” he rattles. “Would spit in yer mouth, that’s how ya like it, dontcha?” 

The display turns dark and blurry for a moment, and you can practically feel the excitement from the other end of the line when Naoya props his phone up against something to have his hands free. He is so obedient at times, yet he would hate to hear that. For the first time today you get a glimpse of his face now, the pink of his tongue poking out slightly between his lips, his hakama pants hanging unfastened from his hips, his cock resting heavy on his thigh when he leans back.

“The shirt, too,” you demand. “Take it off.”

“Nah, too many buttons,” Naoya huffs and grips his cock again, making sure to angle it just right at the camera. Oh, how he wished you were on your knees before him right now. All the ways he’d mess you up. 

“Then pull it up at least. C’mon, put it in your mouth like I do it for you sometimes,” you coax him in your sweetest, sultriest voice. “I know you can be a good boy for me.”

Naoya’s hips yerk up slightly at the praise and he lets out a shaky breath, clearly trying to restrain himself from coming too fast. His resilience is crumbling so easily at the sight of your pretty face and he hastily grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls it up, biting down on it to keep the fabric from sliding down again. One nice side effect of this was that with his mouth stuffed, he would shut up for once. 

“Mmm, yes. That’s it, so good, aren’t you?” you coo and have Naoya gripping his cock tighter, his movements getting sloppy. His abs contracted with every jerk of his hand, and soon he was whining and panting, legs spread apart so beautifully for your perfect view. 

“Are you gonna cum for me, baby?”, you ask while grinding against your pillow, mesmerized by the sight on your display. Seeing a man like Naoya falter so easily at your words alone has you feeling a certain kind of arousal, pooling right in your stomach. 

It makes you want to wreck him entirely. 

Naoya nods and whimpers, using his free hand to play with his nipple piercing, all while his other pumps himself into a higher sphere. His hips are bucking and precum is drooling from his pink tip, making a mess out of him and amplifying the lewd sounds. 

He doesn’t last long, and when he cums thick white ropes fall onto his stomach, his mouth hanging agape. His cheeks are flushed and he mewls while he keeps stroking himself, milking every last drop out of him while chanting your name in a needy voice.

This. This might be your favorite sight ever. 

“Such a good boy. So good for me. Now bend over for me, hm? Show’s not over yet.”

[icycoldninja]

Can u write the DMC boys in a scenario where they were turned into little kittens because a particularly smart devil managed to cast a magic spell on them to escape?

When they woke up, they’re very confused as to why their clothes are suddenly much bigger than they are and so do their weapons. Only when they look at their reflection in the nearby puddle do they realize they become a little kitten

Now they’re cursing in distress, which, sound more like distressed meows from a sulking kitty

And that caught the reader’s attention as she was searching up and down for them, not knowing what happened to her bf before she stumbled across a cute little cat near the pile of fallen rocks

Reader: What are you doing here little fella? Where’s your mom? Did you happen to come across my boyfriend? Can I bring you home with me?

The boys: ‘HONEY!! IT’S ME’ *distressed meowing being inserted*

Now the reader takes care of the little kitten she brought home, not knowing it’s her bf meanwhile she’s just praying for their well-being and hope that they get home soon (erm…about that) She usually plays with them, buys things for them for enrichment, etc and not only that, she usually rants to the little kitten that even though she do love the boys, she can’t help but feel that there’s a rift between their relationship because of how much time they spend with their job, which makes her feel neglected in a way but she can’t blame them. Meanwhile, the kitten, that happens to be her bf, is actually paying close attention to her words, their heart aches because they unknowingly neglect her by overworking themselves, which leads to little to no time for their relationship

After a few days, they return back to normal. Reader is glad they’re back home but is confused about what happened to her favorite little kitty. That’s when the boys explain that the kitten is them…which leads to a very awkward conversation afterwards, ranging from ‘Are you okay?’s; ‘What happened/?’ to the boys explaining that they heard her confession and both the reader and them promising to work out their relationship

P/S: No joke V looks like an Oriental Short hair cat like…no explanation needed

and Nero looks similar to an Ocicat

For Vergil and Dante. It’s rather complicated but they’re either Russian Blues or Turkish Angoras

Here’s a little illustration of cat V I made…I’m rather proud of it

yeap that's accurate. Cool drawing, btw.

Sparda boys + V x Reader kitten situation headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Somehow, a particularly powerful demon managed to cast a spell on Dante and turned him into a cat.

-Dante was super angry about this and started screeching at thin air, convinced he was speaking English words.

-While returning home from work, you came across this very kitten, sitting and meowing in distress. Naturally, you decided to help him.

-Dante was happy to be with you, but he couldn't understand why you didn't understand what he was saying. It took some time, but he eventually concluded that he must have been speaking cat.

-You cared for the cat-Dante for a little while, growing super attached to him in the process. Oh how you loved this fuzzy little ball of fun. You also vented to it, shamelessly dilvuging all your fears and issues with your relationship due to how much time Dante spent away from you. All this information went into the cat's wars, and registered in Dante's brain.

-When the spell eventually wore off, you were very sad, but hey, at least you had your boyfriend back!

-After asking about his strange absence, Dante was reluctant to admit that he was the cat you'd taken care of all along and that he remembers every moment; every word.

-He then apologized and promised to make more time for you, much to your delight. Thankfully, Dante is lighthearted and doesn't judge much or you'd be in for one hell of a lecture.

■ Vergil ■

-Vergil couldn't believe something like this had happened to him. How could he have been foolish enough to get turned into a cat?!

-He was very angry, and naturally began grumbling to himself while trying to head home.

-This was where you found him, meowing sadly like the poor little kitty he was.

-Of course, you brought him home, and began treating him like your adopted child, unaware that this was actually your boyfriend.

-You poured out your soul to this harmless kitten, venting about everything that upset you, including how Vergil's continuous absence saddened you.

-When Vergil returned to normal (which took a few days), he decided not to say anything about it. He simply couldn't bear to tell you he, the MOTIVATED one, had been changed into a cat. Instead, he took more time off for you, surprising you with his sudden change of schedule.

□ Nero □

-Nero didn't really understand how this happened, but hey, it's not all bad!

-While laughing about it to himself, he saw you crossing the street, and decided to meow to get your attention.

-Your attention he got indeed; the next thing he knew, he was being given a bath at home, and then a lot of pets and scratches behind the ears.

-He also got to listen to you talk about your day, in far more detail than you ever told him. It made him kind of jealous. A cat was getting to know more about you than your own boyfriend did.

-When you started talking about how your boyfriend (him) was hardly ever around, it all clicked into place. You felt neglected! Aw shit, Nero really fucked up this time.

-Once he turned back to normal, he set out to change things, even promising out of the blue that he'd put more time into your relationship. When you asked him why, he ended up inadvertently revealing he had been that kitten you so adored all this time.

● V ●

-V was just a few seconds too slow to avoid this demon's beam of magic, and ended up getting turned into a cat.

-Oh, this was so distressing. Griffon and Shadow were no longer around, so V was all alone. When cats are frightened and alone, what do they do? Meow.

-You happened to hear this meowing as you were out and about looking for him, and being the kind soul you are, rushed to help the terrified kitty.

-V was then given a glimpse of how royalty lives. He was pampered, doted on, petted almost every 2 seconds, and waited on hand and foot.

-He also got to hear a lot of your secrets, including how you felt lonely without him around. You missed him much more than he realized, V realized, and made a mental promise to fix that once he was human again.

-You were dismayed to lose your kitten, when that eventually happened, but overjoyed to have your boyfriend back. It was then when you were informed that he never left. V was the cat all along, and from that moment onward, he would make more time for you.

[boriwave]

𝐁𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐑𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐝 | 𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐑𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝐗 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Word Count: 1k

A/N: Not my best work but not my worst either. This is the first piece I manage to finish to write in a while so I decided to post it, it's pretty short though. I was going to add more to it but I got a terrible headache in the middle of it, plus it's more of a vent piece so this is all I could cook up. By the way, English isn't my first language so apologies if it's a little wonky to read, still hope you enjoy it though 🫶

“Could you please just listen for once?”

“I am listening.”

“You’re not, you say you are but you’re not.” It was exhausting, giving every piece of your heart to someone you loved, but not receiving the same effort back.

It wasn’t that Simon didn’t love you, he does, God knows he does. The problem was that he loved silently and from afar, being content with keeping his words of affection to himself while you drowned in a sea of loneliness and resentment. 

Because you didn’t love like him. Simon knew you didn’t and, yet, he didn’t care.

The sound of keys and a lock being undone echoed down the hallway of your apartment, followed by an old door screaming in pain as it was forced open to allow entry to the owners of the cheap room, before being closed and locked once more. 

“I thought you said you wouldn’t bring it up anymore.” Simon grumbled as he flickered the lights on. You haven’t even broached the conversation for more than two minutes and he was already annoyed with you.

A heavy sigh left Simon’s lips as he grasped the end of his skull balaclava, slipping the fabric off his face to reveal those scarred features and the black paint over his eyes. It’s been a long day, too long for comfort, and Simon was exhausted. He certainly didn’t want to fight over the glaring issue of lack of intimacy, care and attention that had cursed your relationship since day one. His blue eyes shifted from the fabric his fingers were clutching, to the barely contained frustration on your face, illuminated by the dim lights that barely illuminated the room, the bulb old and wasted, the same one he’d promise to replace time and time again.

You were patient, too patient.

“Love, listen, I’m sorry, okay? I’ll try harder.” Simon sighed while throwing his mask on the nearby leather couch before approaching your form on the other side of the living room. His footsteps were slow and cautious, to give you time to move out of his inevitable embrace if you so wished to. When you didn’t, he wrapped his strong arms around your waist and pulled you into a tight hug, his face buried into the crook of your neck. “It’s just…hard for me, okay? I don’t want you to feel like I don’t desire you because I do, God only knows the thoughts that run through my mind when you’re not around.”

“Do you really?” Your skeptical tone filled the little space left between your bodies. You didn’t return the hug, not this time, refusing to be swept by the same words he repeated like a well-trained parrot when the time came to hold this same conversation every three months. You just wished it didn’t take half a decade for you to grow a backbone instead of falling to your knees whenever he started with another one of his half-baked excuses.

“I do.” A scoff left your lips as you rolled your eyes. Bullshit, you replied in your mind. 

“Then why don’t you show it? Simon, why is it up to me to always start everything?” “Come on, love, you know that’s not true.” Simon replied, his hold on you faltering for a second as annoyance began to take hold. He wouldn’t lose his cool, not now— he wasn’t that kind of man anymore. “Honey, all I need is a little bit more-”

“Patience?” You cut him off while pulling away from his embrace. Simon could only nod while giving a heavy sigh. “Yes, patience.” He replied like it was obvious.

“Why? Haven’t I been patient enough?”

“Because I’m not used to this relationship shit, you know that, you knew what you were getting into when we first started dating!” Simon exclaimed a little too loud than intended, clenching his hands so hard his nails left behind crescent shapes in the rough skin of his palms. He was as frustrated as you were, exhausted from the same argument, but not enough to change.

You grit your teeth and hold back the words that burnt your tongue, but you didn’t bother replying this time, deciding that the growing headache that blossomed between your eyes deserved more attention than this loop of a conversation. Your legs carried you past Simon and into the kitchen where you swung open a tattered cabinet. Pushing past old mail and expired bottles of countless different pills, your fingers finally brushed against a large, white bottle with a red cap. You popped open the bottle and pulled out three of the small, red and blue pills before placing it on your tongue and swallowing them with the help of the excess saliva that built up in your mouth.

When did things become so…wrong? When did loving Simon start to seem like a chore instead of coming as natural as breathing or blinking? You should have left during the first year of your relationship, when your first big fight happened after finding those compromising messages in his phone; but him and his sweet words, and that stupid charming smile with the empty I love yous helped to put on that veil over your eyes and disconnect the wires in your brain so you wouldn’t see that you deserved better.

If only he didn’t know about the pain and frustration you felt, and the countless nights you were up crying so hard until you couldn’t breath. If he didn’t know, you would gladly keep your mouth shut and make up excuses after excuses for the times he’s spent at work instead of by your side, or the times he’s made you feel unwanted and gross in your own skin; but he knew. Of course he knew, you might have grown blind to his red flags but not mute.

You let out a deep breath, two, maybe three, until the anger that boiled inside you turned into a slow simmer. It was enough to bring yourself to look at Simon from over your shoulder, who stood by the archway, and held a glint of regret and guilt in those stormy blue eyes of his.

“I’m sorry, okay?” He tried to say, just for his words to be waved out the kitchen window. “Come on, don’t be like that, I really am sorry.”

No matter how much you cried, how much you screamed and yelled, your words never seemed to reach him, going inside one ear and going out the other in a vicious cycle you were too tired to break out of and escape. Because, at the end of the day, you’d only set up a three month timer, tie that veil over your eyes and pray to whatever God was out there to finally change things or give you the strength necessary to get up and leave.

“Just forget I said anything, okay?” You mumbled in defeat, your shoulders slumping in defeat like they always did when talking to him.

Simon paused for a brief second before parting his lips to utter those words you’ve grown to hate so much. “I love you, [Name], so much.”

“...I know, Simon, I know.” 

[emisprocrastinatingbywriting]

Alone and Forsaken

Chapter 7 Summary:

Two weeks after your heat and Joel Miller remained by your side constantly but refused to touch you. Promises are made but after an outburst, can Joel finally open up to you?

Warnings: Past Trauma, Minor Injuries, Angst and Fluff, Smut, Reader & Joel need hugs fr, Local middle aged man tries to open up, Fluffiness overload, Joel gets injured.

A/N: I'm back! Third year at uni is in the bag but exams almost killed me. It's a long one so buckle up for more backstory on the reader, more loverboy Joel and painful confessions. Fluff and smut galore, as always. Warning that some of reader's memories include physical assault and Joel dives into some of his trauma. Take care of yourselves as always!

Chapter 7/20

Chapter 7: Home

“Bring her around back, I want to talk to her.” 

A pair of arms wrapped around you and hauled you out of the trunk. A dull throb was pulsing behind your eyes as the guard threw you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Blood dripped from your face and you watched through bleary eyes as it splattered against the back of the guard’s coat. 

Two months. Two fucking months of being free, and they had found you because of a mistake. After a month of keeping fires low, slinking around the outskirts of towns and leaving no traces behind, you had been lulled into a sense of comfort. Escaping Paul had been the easy part, traveling alone as an unmated omega was the hard part. After too many close calls with roving bands of raiders that picked through the wreckage of the world for anything they could steal, or anyone, you decided that cities were not for you. 

After walking for days along a cracked interstate with nothing but trees to keep you company, you came across a weathered town that looked like it had been dilapidated long before the outbreak. Most of the buildings were barely standing, years of neglect making them shake and shiver in the wind. You walked for nearly an hour before you found a structure that didn’t look like it was going to be torn down by the next rainstorm. 

Sat at the very edge of town, away from the main road and any of the residential buildings was a small diner that looked frozen in time. As you pushed open the front door, the bell that hung over it announced your entry. Freezing for a moment with your ears peeled for any indication of danger, the dust covered space greeted you with silence. You relaxed and crept slowly through the diner. 

The checkered floors and leather booths reminded you of the Archie comics that your dad used to keep in the bathroom before the outbreak. It was a little run down, with dusty windows and peeling pink paint on the walls, but you loved it. You swept the building for any infected that could be lurking in the shadows, hands shaking as you braced for a stalker to attack. However, you found that your only company was a lonely skeleton in the back office. The shotgun was still propped between their knees and a jagged hole glared at you from the back of the stranger’s head. You winced at the brutal scene, quietly apologizing to the stranger as you eased the gun from their grasp. 

The gun felt weird in your hands, too long and heavy with your only previous experience in shooting being a handgun. Still, dodging infected and raiders for the last month with nothing but a hunting knife had been close to impossible. You thought of your close calls. You thought of the shoe you had left behind in a department store after barely managing to squirm out of the grasp of an attacker. You thought of the night you had spent hidden in a vent while a ruthless group of alphas grew progressively angrier as they tried, and failed, to sniff you out. Suddenly the unwieldy 12 gauge felt like a luxury compared to your inevitable fate without it. As gently as you could, you flicked the safety on and placed it on the desk before looking around. 

The office itself had clearly doubled as the stranger’s hideaway after the outbreak, with a cot left still unmade and jugs of water left from the previous occupant. The kitchen was still mostly stocked and had semi salvageable expired cans of food left on the shelves. Cobwebs caught in your hair as you moved through the place. The front windows were cloaked in dirt and overgrown shrubbery, effectively shrouding the inside of the dining room from prying eyes. After a month of constant running, this place felt like a sign that you were finally safe from the place you had once called home. You were free. 

The month you spent living in the abandoned diner was the first time you felt like yourself. Days were spent pilfering through the abandoned town for anything of use, trading the modest clothes you escaped in for more breathable fabrics. After tossing the old outfit, you managed to get lucky finding some more shells for your gun, some soap and even a pair of boots that could replace your threadbare sneakers. Despite the growing pile of treasures in the tiny office, the real winner was the stash of smutty romances you stumbled upon. 

The banned books that Jake had slipped to you back at camp were nothing compared to these. After two weeks, you had already burned through at least six. The best one, in your opinion, was the one with the handsome, older crime boss who finds a lonely bookkeeper and whisks her off into his chaotic life. After your second time rereading the story you decided it was time to pick up a hobby that wasn’t going to throw you into a heat.

You were unsure if Paul or Josiah were still looking for you but they were not the only threat. After some deliberation, you decided it was time to brush up on your self defense. For the next few days you jabbed and sliced at the air with your knife, trying to perfect your form in case any raider jumped out at you. With that perfected, you moved on to practicing your shot. 

The first attempt was rough, the force from it nearly knocking you over, but you kept at it. Before long, trees, buildings, mailboxes and stop signs all became your targets. You walked freely through town with a gun in your hands and nobody to answer to. It made you feel powerful. A stupid feeling to have in hindsight. 

Two months of dodging your fate ended with one of Josiah’s men taking you by surprise. The moment you returned from a stroll through town, the nameless alpha had slammed the but of a rifle into your nose. You tried to reach for the shotgun but it was kicked away, after which a boot entered your field of vision and knocked you unconscious. A bump in the road had awoken you in the trunk. After a cramped ride where you tried to not pass out from the pain in your skull, you were finally back home. 

You could only assume that what you were being carried towards was your own dramatic execution. Josiah’s future words rang in your ears as you imagined him declaring that no one, not even family, was above his word. You imagined the tightness of your mother’s features as they hung you and hoped Rachel knew enough to keep Miriam away. She would be kicking and screaming at the guards. You could see it all so clearly and it didn’t even scare you anymore. In this world, there were worse fates. At least you had tasted freedom for a moment. 

The wind was knocked out of you as the guard dumped you onto the ground. You groaned, a sharp sting growing on your side as you tried to get your bearings. Before you could place yourself, a large hand came down and wrenched your head backwards. Tears formed in your eyes from the sting in your scalp and you struggled to focus your bleary eyes. 

“Welcome back Angel, you’ve been missed.” 

As the fogginess in your vision dissipated, Paul’s pale face appeared with his thin lips pulled into a sinister grin. His blue eyes raked over your figure as you struggled weakly, amusement and sick lust making him smile wider. Paul tightened his grip and you winced. At that moment, you hated him so much for everything he had done and hated him even more for everything he was bound to do. Before you could even think about it, a wad of spit flew from your mouth and landed on his pale cheek. 

Paul cussed and you laughed in his spit soaked face as it shifted into something much darker. In an instant he slammed your body down to the ground. Your skull thumped back against the earth and your ears started to ring. A groan bubbling up from your throat was cut off as Paul wrapped his hands around your neck. His eyes were cold in comparison to the sick pleasure portrayed on his face. You used every bit of strength to fight him off but it was no use. Paul laughed and leaned over you, his face inches from yours as he spoke. 

“You know, if it was anyone else I would have let it go. But you,” your eyes bulged as his grip tightened, “You’re different. Sneaky, mouthy, and such a fucking tease. I knew you needed a strong alpha like me to train you, someone who wouldn’t spare the rod on your entitled ass.”

Despite the dots speckling the corners of your vision, you fought him as hard as you could. The smacks to his arms and chest got progressively weaker as your body succumbed to his grip around your neck. Your chest burned with the need for air, but you tried desperately to stay awake for as long as you could. This is it, you thought, this is how I’m going to die. 

Just before the lack of oxygen finally took you under, Paul leaned down and whispered in your ear, “It’s okay Angel, you’ll be mine soon enough.” 

-

A cry echoed in the quiet room. Your heart raced painfully in your chest, making it nearly impossible to breathe as you choked down sobs. The walls shrunk around you and the need to flee your surroundings suddenly became overwhelming. 

As you moved to get up, a heavy weight across your chest stopped you. Terror pierced your racing heart as the warm object pinned you to the sheets. Paul’s grip on your neck still lurked in the corners of your mind and you started to thrash against the weight. A masculine grunt came from your left and you screeched, wrestling your way out from under the stranger. Clumsily, you dropped onto the floor and rolled away, scuttling back until your shoulder blades hit the wall. 

“Darling? Wha - Hey, where’d you go?”

Your eyes snapped back up to the bed and the memory you were trapped in moments before began to slink away. A shaky sigh escaped your lips at the sight of a very groggy and confused looking Joel. He blinked down at you as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. Joel’s curls were adorably flattened on one side of his head, meanwhile the other side looked like he had suffered an electrical shock. You sighed at the sight. The softness he exuded in the mornings suited him. You smiled weakly at him and his eyes narrowed at your trembling form against the wall. 

Slowly, like a hunter trying not to scare a wobbly deer, Joel eased himself onto the floor. You tried to focus on tracing the scars on his burly chest with your eyes, unwilling to look at him head on as he knelt before you. Joel cupped your face, his rough hands making you hum as he tried to tilt your face towards him. After a few moments of dodging eye contact, you relented and slid your gaze up to meet his. 

“Baby,” was all he said before you immediately broke down. 

Joel shushed you as you burrowed your face into his neck, crying against his skin as he leaned back against the side of the bed. Gingerly, he pulled you onto his lap and wrapped his strong arms around you. He began to rub soothing circles against your hips, letting you snuffle at his musk as he whispered sweet nothings. You cried and Joel held you, pulling you back into his embrace each time you tried to pull away prematurely. After the third time that you tried to pull away from him, he snapped. 

“God dammit honey, just cry. I won’t judge ya, just stop pulling away for Christ’s sake.” 

You laughed at his words. It was like Joel knew you better than you knew yourself, like he knew that you had always had to be strong. He wanted you to be soft with him and so you let yourself cry. After a few minutes of sobbing against him, the shaking slowly ceased as the dream receded from your mind. 

“Had another dream huh?” Joel asked quietly. 

He sighed at your silent nod. 

The dreams were a new addition to your night and they had taken a toll. After your heat had petered out, his rut had followed. You were worried at first, scared that he would retreat back to his place on the couch and pretend that nothing had happened. Joel had said he loved you during his rut, but he couldn’t have meant it. Right? The fear of losing him had plagued your mind the first morning. However, after a mere ten minutes of needless worrying, you were pleasantly surprised by a kiss dropped into your hair at breakfast. 

“No oatmeal, as requested darling,” was murmured against your bedhead as Joel placed the plate in front of you. 

Once you had bugged him about his promise that you could help out, the two of you had cleaned up in peaceful silence. Joel seemed to be in good spirits, even rolling his eyes when you whipped him with a towel halfway through the task. Despite the stern look on his face, you could see the small smile that pulled at the corners of his lips. The first night after your heat with Joel was perfect. With the burning need that raged through your bodies finally quelled, the two of you had slept soundly in each other’s arms. 

It was the second night that a nightmare about Paul jerked you from sleep. Despite Joel’s vehement assurances, you were mortified at the memory. He had woken up that night to you kicking and screaming at him. As you fought against him, he had expertly rolled the two of you over and caged you in. Joel was patient that night, using gentle words to coax you back to reality until you were crying in his arms. 

After that first nightmare, two weeks passed and every night the memory of Paul would come back to haunt you. The recurring dreams made you dread sleep. Each night, you tried everything to ignore the urge to rest. You read, you tried and failed to play guitar, you drew terrible caricatures that made Joel laugh, and you even risked his wrath by asking him about his past. Unfortunately for you, Joel had learned how to dodge your questions and began to take that as a cue that you needed to sleep. You tried to evade it but eventually he dragged you to bed, no matter how many probing questions you sent his way. 

With two weeks gone, nothing had changed. Paul appeared each night to torment you and Joel comforted you afterwards. You felt guilty but he refused to accept any apology. 

“S’not real darling. You’re here, you’re with me. I gotcha baby,” Joel crooned as you tried to match his steady breaths. 

The shakes slowly petered out and you sighed, kissing his shoulder in thanks before you leaned back to look at him. Joel’s face nearly always remained schooled but his emotions were plain as day in his eyes. Worry, sadness, anger, and love, all danced in the pools of brown as they raked over your figure.  

“It was him again, from when they caught me. He was choking me and no matter how hard I -,” you stopped and shook your head before the sobs started again. 

There were a few other memories that had resurfaced in the past two weeks but that was the only one that came back consistently. Joel had listened to your account of the memory in full the first night it appeared, and you watched as he tried not to burst the blood vessel in his forehead. Rage poured off of him and soured his comforting scent, pulling a whine from you that forced him to soften his anger. He had remained soft every night since. 

Joel pulled you from your thoughts as his forehead knocked against yours gently. You closed your eyes, breathing the same air as him for a moment as he brushed his hands up and down your sides. The warmth that radiated off of his skin eased the chill of the early morning and you sunk further into his lap as Joel tried to gather his words. 

“I know that… I’ve… Well, you know after Sarah, there were a lot of nights where… Fuck… And with El- no… Shit honey, m’sorry, I’m real bad at this.” 

You giggled and Joel huffed a laugh before he tried again. 

“Memories have a bad habit of chasing you. And I’ve deserved mine for everything I- … Well, anyways, I know how it feels to have dreams make you feel like you did when they happened, but they’re not real. Not anymore, even if it feels like it,” he said. 

Without opening your eyes, you asked quietly, “What happened to yours? Will my… Do they ever go away?”

Joel stiffened for a moment and you winced, rubbing your face against his neck until you felt him slowly relax again. His rut had certainly forced him to be vulnerable with you and after it was over, Joel tried hard to not close himself off again entirely. Whether it be through fleeting kisses or soft words, Joel Miller was trying for you, even though you could tell it was hard for him. It made you love him all the more. 

“Honestly I don’t know. I had them every night before we… Well -,” he cleared his throat, “- before we - er - got together. But now I - I don’t know. They’re just gone. Maybe they’ll come back one day. I hope not, but who knows.” 

You snorted. 

“You have literally knotted me and you can’t bring yourself to say that we fucked? I can. We fucked. Easy as that, see?,” you jabbed. 

Joel rolled his eyes and leaned forward to bite playfully at your shoulder as you squealed. 

He tsked, “Tryin’ to be a gentleman here darling. Christ, you’ve got some mouth on ya.”

You laughed at his words and Joel smiled at your change in demeanor before you grew serious once more. 

“I really hope my dreams go away too,” you whispered. 

Joel made a sympathetic noise as you sat there sullenly, carding your fingers through the salt and pepper hair that covered his chest as you tried to blink away tears. Before you could sink too far into yourself, he snatched one of your hands from his chest and brought it to his lips. The small act made you forget the misery that panged in your heart and you smiled at him. 

“Made you something,” he murmured. 

Excitement rushed through you and you perked up. Joel laughed and lifted you back onto the bed, placing you gently on the soft sheets before he moved to get up. Before he could escape, you threw your arms around his neck and kissed him. Joel let out a surprised noise as your lips met his, freezing for a millisecond before he leaned in. 

One calloused hand pushed you forward by the small of your back while the other held your neck in place. His tongue ran along the seam of your lips and you moaned, granting him access to your mouth. You whined at the heat that radiated off of Joel, all you could think about was how his warm body felt against your own while he slammed into you. Need crept up from your core, different from the need you experienced during your heat but no less demanding.  

Before the two of you could get too carried away, Joel broke the kiss abruptly. His cheeks were dusted with pink and his lips were swollen. A string of spit connected your lips as you parted and you whined at the sight. You watched as Joel’s dilated pupils looked down at your lips, his irises slivers around the all consuming black that sent shivers down your spine.  

You wanted this. You wanted him so badly that you could hardly think but as you moved to lean in once more, Joel cleared his throat and stood up. The whine that left you was embarrassing but you didn’t care, and it seemed neither did he. Without another word, he leaned down once more, giving you a quick kiss on the cheek before he stood up.  

“Just gotta go get it, one sec.” 

Joel spun on his heel and waltzed out of the room, leaving you with wetness gathering between your legs. You tried not to be annoyed but it was hard. He had been more open in his feelings for you since his rut but kept his body off limits. 

After days of his tongue, fingers and cock making you cum until drool dripped from the corners of your mouth, he cruelly shut off the tap. It was frustrating, but you tried to make due with the sweet words and heated makeouts. It was better than nothing. You needed Joel in any way he would have you, which made you feel progressively more pathetic each time he rejected you but you ignored the sting in hopes that he would break someday. 

Joel interrupted your sulking as he came back into the room. He cautiously stepped forwards and smiled nervously. You swallowed a laugh at the alpha’s boyish demeanor as he stopped in front of you. Joel sighed and thrusted the gift out from behind his back. 

“It’s not much darling but I - Well, I don’t know. I just think that if we had met before the outbreak I would’ve gotten you flowers. But I mean, I can’t just go to the store anymore so I don’t know, I made this,” he explained shyly. 

In his hand was a wooden carving. It was not unlike the carvings that adorned the living room, except this one was delicate. It was a rose made of a light colored wood with petals carved to perfection. They bloomed outward from a skinny stem that was adorned with two small leaves. You gasped and took it from him, twirling the gift in your hand before you spied small lettering under one of the leaves. In careful lines, he had carved a small I love you.

Joel cleared his throat and you looked up. His jaw was set with his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides as he analyzed your reaction. You opened your mouth to praise his gift when he suddenly reached out and tried to snatch it back. 

“Joel!,” you admonished, slapping his hands away. 

“S’nothing darling. I don’t know why I thought it would be a good idea. You don’t need to guard my feelings, it’s a dumb gift. Barely even a gift really,” Joel rushed out as his cheeks reddened with embarrassment. 

After placing the gift down on the bed, you crawled over to the edge and rose to place your hands on his cheeks. His dark eyes snapped to yours, breath catching in his throat as you pressed a soft peck to his lips. 

“I love it Joel. I haven’t been given a lot of gifts but that one is definitely my favorite. Thank you. And, um hello? You can’t just give me a gift and then take it back. That’s like against the rules or something. I love it. I love YOU,” you chided. 

A small smile bloomed on Joel’s face and he looked away, scuffing his feet against the floor for a moment before he looked back up at you. The redness in his cheeks grew as his teeth worried his bottom lip, guarding the goofy grin that threatened to break out on his face at your praise. 

“Well alright then baby, m’glad you like it,” Joel murmured, leaning forward to brush his mouth against yours. 

Jumping at the chance, you dove into him again. You pressed the front of your body against Joel’s as your lips met. He groaned and placed his rough hands on your hips, yanking you into him as his tongue mingled with yours. Heart pounding in your ears, your shaky hands tugged at Joel’s soft curls and drifted down his abdomen. Just as you reached his belly button he stopped and pulled back. A pinched groan rattled your chest as he placed his forehead against yours again. 

“Dunno if it was worthy of THAT big of a thanks baby,” he chuckled. 

You giggled and nipped at the scruff on his jaw as you whispered, “Maybe not, but what if I want you to fuck me anyways?” 

Joel groaned as you worried the skin on his neck between your teeth, the action making his hips twitch forward on impulse. You felt his resolve slipping and you pulled back, eyes full of longing as you waited for him to do something. Anything. 

“Darling I -,” Joel halted and sucked his teeth. 

He stared at your lips for a moment, seemingly at war with himself while you squirmed before him. The impatient whine that rang out seemed to sober him and Joel sighed.  

“I should get to making us some breakfast. Can’t have you starving on me when we’ve got chores to be getting to.” 

Joel raised your hands to his lips and kissed the backs of them. He ignored your groan, leaving you high and dry on the bed for a second time that morning as he practically jogged out of the room. You sat there slack jawed and frustrated, staring at his hulking frame as he scampered down the hallway. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you scoffed. 

A booming laugh echoed from the end of the hall and you cussed. You hadn’t meant for your distress to be that loud but your desperation for Joel had loosened your lips. Sighing, you slipped from the warm sheets. 

Save for the undergarments and pants, the clothes that Joel had originally intended to be yours were all but abandoned. Instead, you found yourself in one of Joel’s sweaters or shirts constantly. You loved it and he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, his eyes had lit up the first time you came out in his clothes and continued to since. Plus, the act of wearing his things was like a cheap replacement to the mark you hoped he would one day claim you with. 

A chill ran down your spine from the frigid air and you threw one of his flannels over a pair of jeans, tucking the excess fabric into the waistline to keep it from swallowing you whole. You weren’t tiny by any means, but Joel’s broadness meant that his shirts were practically dresses on you. After you shoved your feet into some knit socks, you combed through the knots in your hair. Looking into the mirror, you sighed at your appearance and cursed the outbreak for leaving you without beauty products. Prodding at your hair only seemed to anger the unruly strands so you gave up and turned away from the bedroom. 

As you padded into the kitchen, the savory smell of Joel’s cooking wafted in the air. He stood at the stove, humming an unfamiliar tune as he stirred the leftover stew in the pot. He turned and smiled, nodding towards the mug of steaming tea that he left on the counter for you. Shrugging off your thanks, he turned back to the stove. 

You eyed the muscles in his strong back flex as he stirred for a moment before you crept up behind him. He chuckled as your arms wrapped his midsection, burrowing your face into his shirt to huff at the deep aroma of sandalwood and bergamot. It tickled your nostrils as you breathed in deeply, making you hum as you swayed against him. Joel squeezed your hand and swayed with you for a moment. 

“How ‘bout you get the table set and I’ll finish up?,” Joel asked. 

You sighed, giving him one last tight squeeze before you let go and moved towards the cutlery. The front end of the cabin was bursting with light as you strolled towards the table. The morning light shone down on the scuffed wood as you placed the cutlery. Your mind wandered as you worked. 

It was the same scuffed wood that had rubbed against your front as Joel had fucked you stupid two weeks prior. The thought of it made you smirk as you remembered his animalistic thrusts. The both of you had been so desperate for each other and now the lust in Joel was just gone. You tried not to dwell on the loss, instead focusing on the thought of him slapping your pussy and forcing you into a mind breaking orgasm as you tried not to cry. 

Joel interrupted your thoughts as he emerged from the kitchen with two steaming bowls of food. Picking up on your heated expression immediately, Joel’s eyes darted between the table and you before he chuckled. He shook his head at you, giving you a playfully stern look as he placed breakfast down on the table. You gave him a nervous smile as he pulled out your chair and leaned down to kiss the top of your head. The small act of pulling out your chair was something that he had taken to doing every day, but it never failed to make you blush.  

The meal was shared in comfortable silence. His foot knocked against yours and you knocked him back. After one too many nudges, Joel reached down and grabbed your ankle, playfully yanking you forward off your seat.You yelped and dropped the spoon that was halfway to your mouth as you grabbed the edge of the chair to keep your ass on the seat. Joel looked very pleased at the shock on your face as he returned to his food. 

“Alright, now eat. We’ve got some chores to finish before the day gets too gone,” he chuckled, placing your foot back on the ground before he moved to shovel stew into his mouth. 

You poked him with your foot one last time and giggled at his pointed look before you returned to your breakfast. 

 - Joel - 

Joel watched as the wind ruffled your hair, the sunlight accentuating the high points of your cheekbones as you stooped down towards the river. He tried not to stare but he couldn’t help it. 

He was enamored with how you moved and how carefully you treated everything you touched. 

Even him, the man that had burned Salt Lake City to the ground with his bare hands. The man that poisoned everything he touched. You even treated him with the utmost care. It made him feel warm and wanted, as well as slightly guilty. Joel didn’t deserve this. He didn’t deserve you. He knew that, but his feelings for you made it all so much more complicated. 

You moved to fill the bucket with water. He watched the muscles in your arms flexing as you drew it back to the surface and up over the bank. There was a part of Joel that wanted to go over and chivalrously offer his assistance but he knew you would just shoo him away. It wasn’t that he didn’t think you could lift it, he was well aware of how strong you were. It was just that he liked having someone to fuss over. It gave him purpose. 

Joel sighed wistfully as he watched you stand and wipe at the sweat that covered your brow. As he watched you bend over to pick up the bucket, the breath stalled in his lungs. The jeans that you chose today did little to hide the curves that had filled out since your arrival and he cussed as he felt himself harden. 

For two weeks, Joel kept away from you. The memories of your curves, your pretty moans, and your tight cunt all haunted him. Joel wanted nothing more than to stomp over and tear the bucket from your hands. He wanted to tear your pants down and pound into your wet heat right there amongst the snow until you screamed, but he refrained. 

Why? That was a question Joel asked himself more and more with each passing day. He had already had you more times than he could count, with each time better than the last, but it wasn’t enough to convince him. He couldn’t do it because he needed to make things right. 

Before the outbreak happened, he hadn’t dated much. When Sarah was small, she was an easy excuse. Nobody ever expected the unmated alpha to give up time with his precious pup. However, the older Sarah got, the harder it became to attribute his unwillingness to try on his increasingly independent preteen. 

Joel had really tried a couple of times but it never seemed to work out. He even let Sarah and Tommy convince him to sign up for one of those god awful dating sites once but that was also a failure. Joel chalked it up to lack of chemistry or his gruffness each time, but the truth was that he simply didn’t want to sit in a dimly lit restaurant and make small talk with someone who would blanch after he told them about Sarah. He couldn’t stand anyone blanching at the thought of meeting his favorite person, it made him feel sick to his stomach. 

Two years before the outbreak, after a date told him that he needed to be realistic about his prospects as an unmated alpha who already had a pup, Joel had simply stopped trying and resigned himself to commitment-free hookups. He preferred it that way anyways. He had his little girl and his idiot brother, what more could he ask for? Once the world had ended, dating and love in general vanished in his mind. It was all about survival. Any dreams of romantic interest or mating was set aside for quick fucks to keep himself from slamming his head through a wall. Nevertheless, after meeting you, Joel remembered how he used to dream about it before Sarah died.  

He remembered imagining what it would be like to meet his true mate. His mind would drift off on worksites, thinking about how he might treat them while he waited out a burst of rain in his truck. Joel imagined giving his future mate flowers, opening doors and pulling out seats, giving them soft kisses at the end of a nice date. 

He wanted to be the guy that did things just to make his mate smile, all while keeping his touches fleeting until the moment was perfect. That was how he was raised. That was how a gentleman would approach someone they wanted to mate. That was who you deserved. Joel wanted so badly to be that alpha for you, despite the fact that his rut had foiled part of the plan and he now spent most of his time around you hiding his raging boner. He was so close to breaking, and he knew that you were very aware of it. It drove him nuts. 

When you had crawled to the end of the bed and wrapped yourself around him, dressed in nothing but his shirt and a cute pair of blue panties, he had nearly lost it. Joel had tried not to think about the slick that undoubtedly pooled in the fabric. He tried not to think about loosening you up with his tongue before driving his cock deep inside of your tight cunt. Practically keeling over with the effort, Joel had barely managed to peel himself away from you so he could scamper off to the kitchen under the guise of making breakfast. 

As Joel stood before an unchecked trap in the afternoon sun, he tried to inconspicuously re-adjust himself before you had the chance to look up at him. When he agreed to let you help him with chores he didn’t think about the fact that he would have to listen to your grunts of exertion and see the sweat glistening deliciously on your body as you worked. Day in, day out, it was the sweetest form of torture. A form of torture that made him lock himself in the bathroom at the end of each day to pitifully tug at his cock in the shower, muffling his groans into his fist as he came shamefully to the thought of you. 

As you approached him, Joel quickly flipped himself into the waistline of his pants and smoothed his coat over his front to hide any evidence of his arousal. The last thing he needed was to see your knowing smirk at his hard dick. It would only give you more ammo to pierce through his already weakened armor. For years Joel had gone without so much as a twitch from his cock, and now the damn thing never knew when to rest. He was powerless when it came to you. 

“I’m gonna head back and shower if that’s it. Do you need any help with the trap? You’ve been standing over it for a hot minute,” you asked sweetly. 

Joel’s cock throbbed painfully against the confines of his jeans at the sweet words and the way you looked up at him. The whine that clawed its way up his throat was covered in a strangled cough as he knelt down to mess with the trap. Joel felt your gaze on the back of his head but he elected to ignore it. He knew that if he looked up he would be burying his face in between your pillowy thighs in an instant. 

“Yeah uh, that’s fine. M’ just gonna be another minute out here and then I’ll be in,” Joel mumbled as he prodded at the empty trap. 

Joel waited for you to leave but your feet stayed rooted to the ground in front of him. With no other choice, he stood and slowly met your gaze. A line formed between the brows of your pinched face. He watched as you wrestled with your thoughts and tried not to puke from nervousness. 

“You could… um… You could always join me. In the shower, I mean. If you wanted to,” you proposed. 

The hopeful look on your face was too much. He opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. Fuck yes, is what he wanted to say. But instead, Joel stood there dumbfounded as your cheeks grew redder with each second that passed. His stomach twisted as your hopeful expression fell and still, Joel said nothing. His mind screamed at him but he felt like he was locked in himself, unable to move, unable to talk, unable to think. Instead, he watched your crumpled face turn back towards home. 

Joel watched you leave in silence, unsure of what to do until a breeze laced with your soured scent slapped him in the face. With his instincts screaming at him to keep you safe and cared for, he surged forward. He dropped his tools and clumsily ran after you. The muffled cries that Joel heard made him wince. He shakily reached out to touch your back, but dropped his hand when you wheeled around to face him. 

Your face was red and splotchy, with tears leaking from the corners of your eyes as you frowned at him. Joel froze again. An overwhelming feeling of guilt dizzied him. He tried to think of something to say as he stood before you but words failed him. 

“Are you ever going to touch me again? Or am I that horrible?,” you snapped. 

He stumbled back as if you had slapped him. His mind reeled at the questions. 

You sniffed, shaking your head again as you continued, “I know that I’m not what you might have wanted for yourself, I know that I’m… me. But you can’t just promise to mate me one day and then be done with me the next. Was it just the rut talking? Are you disgusted with me now? Because if so tell me or else it’s… It’s mean Joel! You’re being mean to me.” 

The words hit slammed into Joel’s chest like a ton of bricks. Pain nipped at his heart and he roughly yanked your face towards his. He searched your eyes as he tried to comprehend how you could possibly think he felt that way. 

“Baby, I love you because you’re you. You’re everything I could have hoped for. I just haven’t hoped for anything in a long time sweetheart, so I ain’t great at it. But all I do, day in and day out, is think about you and how good you look in my bed,” he urged, thumb coming down to trace over your lip as it trembled. 

“Then, why -,” you started to ask, only to be cut off by Joel’s rushed words. 

“Because! I - shit honey. I wanted to do this right, I wanted to treat you like a lady - my lady. I know we already… fucked, as you worded it but you deserve a gentleman. Someone to treat you with respect, someone to court you and all that before claimin ya,” he said, the words strained and clumsy. 

You stared at him silently as Joel’s eyes searched yours for any sign of understanding. Just as he opened his mouth to keep going, he was cut off by laughter. His brow furrowed in confusion as you chuckled in front of him. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me Joel,” you wheezed in between shaky breaths.  

Joel gawked at your reaction. 

“What is this? Is it 1847? Are you gonna ask my father for my hand? Gonna make him pay a dowry to you? Gonna mount me in front of the whole wedding party to make sure the bond is consummated?,” you teased. 

Joel scoffed and placed his hands on his hips. Cocking his hip out, his lips came together in a tight line to keep his annoyance at bay. He knew you couldn’t possibly understand what it was like before so he kept his snarky words to himself. When Joel looked up, the previous laughter turned into a sweet grin and he melted. Your arms wrapped around his neck, effectively shutting off his brain as his senses were overwhelmed by you. 

“Joel, I get what you’re trying to do but there’s no need. You’re good to me everyday. I’ve never had anyone love me like you do. But I just… I miss you and you’re right in front of me. Don’t you miss me daddy?,” you asked, the last part coy as your eyes twinkled with mischief. 

He choked on his spit and coughed as your fingers tugged at the curls on the back of his neck. Joel closed his eyes and groaned with every ounce of restraint leaving his body. He felt as one of your hands moved from his hair and dragged down the softness of his abdomen. The hand grasped his belt buckle, pulling his hips flush with your own. Joel’s eyes snapped open and he growled as your fingers inched along his waistline. 

“Fuck it,” Joel sighed as he threw you over his shoulder. 

 - You - 

You squealed as Joel’s rough hand swatted your ass. His strides were long and determined as he moved through the trees. He ignored the way you giggled and begged him to put you down. The daddy card was a cheap card to play but you knew it would work. 

“Just HAD to say that,” he griped, “Tryna do something nice for ya darling, tryna treat you right. But all you want is for me to treat you like my little slut, is that it? Need my cock in you that fucking bad huh?” 

His dirty words made you squirm and moan. The squirms earned you another quick slap to your ass as Joel reached the stairs to the cabin and took them two at a time. The door was practically ripped off of its hinges on the way in from the force of his pull. You gasped at his strength, half turned on by the spectacle and half pissed that he would risk tearing the door off the cabin in the middle of winter. 

“Joel!,” you meekly scolded through a thick cloud of arousal. 

He didn’t answer you. Instead, Joel simply smacked your ass once more before he slammed it closed. His determined strides reached the bedroom in seconds and he tossed you on to the bed. You bounced against the mattress from the force of his throw and scrambled to position yourself in a more alluring way. Anticipation boiled in your gut, and you watched as his eyes zeroed in on the wet spot on your panties.  

“Strip and lay down on the bed,” his gruff voice demanded. 

You paused for a moment. His quick shift from caring mate to domineering alpha both excited and dizzied you. All Joel had to do was give you a pointed look and you sprung into action, clumsily tearing off of your clothes under his stare. He smirked, slowly taking off his leather belt and unbuttoning his flannel as he watched your desperate movements. 

After kicking the panties off, you laid back against the cool sheets and tried not to lose your mind. Joel shrugged off his flannel, letting it fall to the floor before he unzipped his jeans. Your mouth watered at the sizeable bulge in his boxers that peaked out from his pants as he stalked around the bed. Joel reached down and softly moved errant strands of hair from your face. The smile that he gave you as you nuzzled his hand made your chest ache.  

“Sweet girl,” he praised quietly. 

Joel leaned down and kissed your forehead, letting his lips linger before he grabbed both of your hands. You whined as you realized the purpose of the belt. Need rushed through you, slick starting to stick to your inner thighs as Joel expertly wrapped the leather around your wrists. He stopped, kissing both of them softly before he secured them to the headboard. He quickly checked the hold, making sure they weren’t too tight before he loomed over you. 

“If they are too tight or if you want to stop, just let me know m’kay? Want to make you feel so good honey,” Joel drawled as he left a soft peck on the tip of your nose. 

Blushing at him, you nodded enthusiastically at his words. He smiled and moved to stand at the end of the bed as you squirmed. Joel reached down and pulled your legs apart, his ravenous gaze trained on the slick that dripped onto the sheets. Your face burned at his unflinching gaze. Suddenly overwhelmed by the attention, you tried to snap your legs closed but Joel stopped you. 

“Don’t you dare hide from me sweetheart. You’re fucking perfect,” he chastised as he eased your legs back apart. 

A strained moan came from Joel at the sight of you laid bare. One of his hands moved to palm his cock through his boxers. Joel pulled himself from the confines of his jeans and your cunt clenched around nothing. The sight of his cock made you yank at the restraints again as he slowly dragged his hand up and down his length. 

“What baby? See something you like?”

You nodded, giving Joel the best puppy dog eyes that you possibly could as he tugged at his length. He indulged the sight of your desperate state before he let his cock go, reaching forward to coast his hands over your thighs as they shook. Your hips rose slightly from the bed and he forced you back sharply.

“Use your words,” Joel snapped. 

The harshness of his words broke you. 

“You! Please, I can’t go any longer. I need it, need you too fuck me so bad” you cried. 

Joel dove in between your legs, kissing and biting his way up your right leg as you groaned. His teeth reddened the delicate skin on the inside of your thigh. The marks he left would undoubtedly turn to bruises later and you loved it. He stopped just before the crease in your thigh, allowing his breath fan out over your glistening lips as your clit twitched. Your breath caught in your throat and you silently willed him to lean forward. Joel licked his lips, staring at your seam hungrily for another moment before he turned to kiss up your other leg. 

“Ugh, please! Just fucking touch me, I can’t - shit, please Joel,” you whined, kicking your feet as Joel chuckled darkly against your skin. 

“I am touchin ya darling. Dunno whatcha mean,” he drawled, lips brushing against your skin with every syllable. 

Before you had a chance to answer with a clear mind, Joel returned to sucking and biting marks into the soft skin. The headboard banged against the wall as you thrashed against the restraints. You panted as Joel moved up your leg, trying desperately to find the words to beg for what you needed as he neared your clenching heat.  

“F-fuck me! Please fuck me! I need your cock in me - shit, daddy please!,” you suddenly wailed. 

Tears of desperation slid down your face as you cried and Joel quickly crawled up your body, kissing every inch of skin he came across before he met your lips in a soft peck. He pulled back and met your gaze, cooing as he brushed away tears of frustration. 

“Such a good girl for telling me what you need. So, so good for me. You look so beautiful like this babygirl,” he murmured. 

Cradling your face, Joel leaned down and kissed you softly. His tongue teased the inside of mouth and you sighed, letting him in as your body relaxed against the bed. You nibbled on the inside of his lip and he groaned. 

The kiss grew in intensity with both of you desperate for each other in seconds. Joel’s chest hair brushed up against your nipples and tiny jolts of pleasure ran down to your core. When he finally pulled away for air, you glared at him in annoyance. He laughed and kissed you once more on the cheek before he leaned into your ear. 

“Still doing ok sweetheart?,” Joel whispered. 

“Mmmhmmm, now can you fuck me already? M’getting bored up here,” you sang. 

Joel chuckled and bit at the gland in your neck with more pressure than he had ever done before. It was still not enough to claim you, but it had your back bowing and eyes rolling anyways at the intensity. He took your incapacity as an opening and moved down to your core. As you tried to come down from the hormonal response Joel had torn from you, he threw your legs over his strong shoulders and positioned himself between your legs. 

You looked down just in time to watch as Joel licked a long stripe up your seam, ending his stroke with a flick against the throbbing bud. He closed his eyes at the taste and a devilish smile graced his weathered features. In an instant, his mouth was back on you with soft kitten licks to your sensitive clit. As the need grew his soft licks turned to strong calculated strokes and you squeezed your eyes closed from the pleasure. 

The moans that came from Joel were downright pornographic and you fought against the heaviness in your eyelids. Forcing your eyes open, you looked down at the beast of a man that was making the most wanton noises you had ever heard. The sight of him alone almost made you cum on the spot. 

Joel ground his hips against the bed, rubbing his crotch into the sheets as he devoured you. With his brow pinched and eyes closed, he sucked your clit into his mouth as he held your twitching hips still so he could push you closer and closer to the edge. 

“J- oh fuck! You look so good like that - ungh - M’gonna, you’re gonna make me -,” you squeaked as you barreled towards your end. 

Just as your walls began to clench, signaling your incoming orgasm, Joel pulled back and returned his lips to your thigh. You gasped and bucked your hips into nothing as the pressure faded away. With a fresh wave of frustration at the ruined release, you thrashed harder against the restraint and whimpered. 

“But I-I don't understand. I was gonna -” 

Joel bit down hard on the supple skin of your thigh and a sharp cry bounced off of the walls. He laughed and you debated the benefits of cussing him out. Maybe that would get him riled up enough to fuck you. Before you could complain, Joel broke through the anger with the two thick fingers that thrusted into your core. You yelped at the sudden fullness. Slick dripped down Joel’s wrist and he grinned as he moved his face towards your center once more. 

With Joel sucking on your clit at a steady pace, your orgasm rose from the depths of your core embarrassingly fast. He hadn’t even started to move his thick fingers yet before your thighs started to shake again. As your walls twitched, a burst of panic rushed through you at the thought of him pulling away. Quickly, you clamped your thighs around him and pleaded. Joel chuckled against your seam, the vibrations of it almost sending you off the edge before he effortlessly moved away. 

“Jesus fucking Christ!” you shouted as yet another orgasm was ruined by Joel. 

“Just Joel is fine darling,” he joked. 

Joel chuckled and sucked the slick off his fingers. His fingers retracted from his mouth and he reached forward to pop your jaw open. Joel pursed his lips, letting a wad of spit fall from his mouth onto your tongue as you whimpered. The lewdness of it made your eyes roll back and you swallowed without even thinking. 

“Jesus baby, don’t even have to tell you what to do. Like you were made for me or something. All fucking mine, aren’t ya?,” he growled. 

You nodded and breathily whined, “Yes, m’yours. Want to be yours so bad, please! Please make me yours, I need it so bad. Fuuck.” 

Joel moaned and moved to devour you once more. His fingers prodded at the outside of your twitching hole and you lifted your hips to encourage him. You felt him pause and looked down at him, only to be met with a serious look on his face. 

“You're already mine baby and I’m yours. Don’t you ever forget that,” Joel grunted as he slammed his fingers inside. 

Something between a growl and a sob rolled off of your tongue as his fingers ruthlessly thrusted into you. He sucked your swollen bundle of nerves between his lips and batted it with his tongue, the overstimulation making you shiver as he moaned into your folds. Joel’s fingers crooked up inside of you and rubbed at the devastating spot along your front wall. You convulsed against the sheets, whining and pleading as his free hand held you to the mattress. 

Joel looked devastatingly handsome between your legs. The possessive stare, coupled with the way he thrusted his hips against the sheets in time with his fingers made you feel like a goddess. His movements grew slightly jerky and you knew that he was close. The thought of Joel cumming from humping the bed at the taste of your cunt was all too much and you came hard. You screamed and pulled at the leather wrapped around your wrists so hard that it creaked under the pressure. 

Overwhelming pleasure erupted from your core and sprayed him with a strong gush of slick. Joel whined as your release covered his face and his eyes rolled into the back of his head. Nonsensical pleas and jumbled cries fell from your lips as you clenched around his thick fingers. You watched through hooded eyes as Joel’s hips stuttered against the bed before he thrusted down hard, crying out into your pulsing folds as he came into the sheets. 

The strength of your orgasm made your pelvic muscles burn as he pulled away. Joel kissed his way back up your body as you floated. He smiled and continued his attack on your face, distracting you as Joel’s free hand untied you from the headboard. With your hands free from the leather, you quickly dug your fingers into his curls and pulled him closer. 

The kiss you gave him was full of love, passion, longing, and desperation. It held a million emotions, a million promises, and a million requests. The kiss begged him to never go so long without touching you ever again. Joel responded fervently to your anguish and his lips promised that he would never leave you wanting again.

Joel broke from the kiss and the two of you panted into each other's mouths. You looked up at him and brushed the hair off of his forehead. He needed a haircut badly but you had begged him not to cut it yet, loving the way the length showcased his beautiful salt and pepper curls. You knew you had to do it soon as Joel threatened to shave it all off every day, but you wanted to enjoy the length as long as possible. 

He kissed the indent on your wrist and continued all the way down the length of your arm. Joel reached the crook of your neck and leaned forward. You waited for the final kiss but it never did. Instead, he blew a wet raspberry against your skin. You screeched and squirmed, shoving his head away he laughed. Joel removed himself from your neck and watched you giggle. 

“That was - shit Joel, that was so good. I missed that,” you sighed once the two of you calmed, which earned a hum of approval from him.  

Joel rolled the two of you over, moving so he was underneath while you straddled him. He moved his fingers into your hair and rubbed at your scalp. Boneless from his soothing circles, you draped yourself over him and placed your ear against his chest. His strong heartbeat lulled you into a meditative state. Grabbing his free one in yours, you squeezed his hand three times. 

“I love you too darling, more than you could possibly imagine,” he answered as he nosed at your hair. 

Completely drunk off of him, you smiled and rubbed your face into his chest. He hummed as you scented him. Your nose moved up from his chest to huff at the spot beneath his ear and Joel shivered. The spot called to you, his deep scent coating the back of your throat as you licked and nipped at it. It smelled so good but you couldn’t help but wonder how much better it would be if his scent was mixed with yours. 

The vibe of the room changed as you laved your tongue and dragged your teeth over the same spot with more intent. Joel’s hand tightened in your hair but it didn’t move to stop you. Instead he made a desperate noise and pushed your face deeper into his flushed skin. You took that as a green light and sunk your teeth into his skin. Joel howled as you made your claim on him. His body shook and his softening cock kicked up against your leg as blood filled your mouth. The taste of him alone made you groan as you licked over the wound, sealing the bleeding puncture marks and your hold over him as he twitched beneath you. 

“F-fuck baby,” Joel panted as blinked away tears. 

Before you could respond, Joel had flipped you over and shoved his face into your neck. He snuffed at the skin as he tried to locate the right spot. He found it almost immediately, almost like he had scoped it out beforehand. You didn’t blame him if he had, you had known the exact spot on Joel that you wanted to bite down on for weeks. 

“P-please omega, tell me please,” Joel begged as his mouth hovered over the left side of your neck. 

You could have cried at the sound of his voice. Your alpha, so strong yet so caring. A whine fell from your lips and you pushed his face forward. 

“Make me yours Joel.” 

Snarling, Joel clamped his teeth down hard. Euphoria burst from somewhere deep inside of you and you sobbed. The all encompassing feeling of finally belonging made tears fall from your eyes. You could hear Joel, as if from far away, as he coaxed you through the intense emotions. Love, devotion, and an overwhelming desire to never be away from him rushed through you. It was not unlike what you had already felt for him. Only this time, you knew for a fact that Joel felt the same way. You felt it through the bond. 

After the waves receded, your eyelids fluttered open and it felt like you were coming up for air after being underwater for your entire life. Joel’s smile matched yours and the both of you erupted into a fit of giddy laughs. 

Pure joy radiated off of you as you sniffed the air. Your scents changed with bond, mingling together to advertise to any interested parties that the both of you were taken. It made you excited, even though you knew there was nobody around to smell it. Joel noticed a change as well and lifted his nose into the air, his grin splitting his face in half as he smelled it too.

“Joel, I don’t even know what to say,” you croaked through the emotions that tightened your throat. 

He rubbed his nose against yours and whispered, “I know honey, I don’t either. I love you, that’s all I can think of to say. I fucking love you.” 

You sobbed and threw your arms around Joel’s neck, murmuring a soft I love you too into his mouth before you captured his lips in a searing kiss. Tears of happiness fell from your eyes as your lips moved against each other, tongues mingling and hands caressing every inch as the pair of you reeled from the enormity of what just happened. Your heart felt like it was going to explode with your love for Joel, the intensity of it almost too much as your mouths greedily took from one another. He broke away for air and you panted against the sheets, overwhelmed by the newness of it all. 

“I know baby, it’s too much isn’t it? But it’s just us finding the missing piece. Me and you, that’s what the feeling is. Until my last breath, I’m yours. Hell, I would’ve been yours anyways but this is so much better,” Joel murmured. 

An overwhelming need overcame you at his words and you flipped Joel over again. He landed on his back with a surprised oomph. He blinked and you had already straddled him. Joel wheezed as your hips grinded down on his quickly hardening length. He pinched his eyes closed and dropped his head back against the pillow while his hands skimmed along the fat of your hips. 

Moving from your hips, Joel reached down to grasp handfuls of your ass and used his grip to slide you back and forth against him harder. Whining, you draped yourself over him again and writhed against him.  

You grew desperate for him and reached down to grab him. Holding him steady, you slowly sunk down on him. A sigh fell from your lips once you were fully seated, with every aspect of the both of you now melded together. It all felt so right. 

Joel’s hips twitched under you and he grabbed your hips once more. He worked you on his cock, the fat tip of it brushing up against that spot that had slick gathering in his lap. You whined at the size of him, the stretch bordering on painful as he bullied his way in. His place was slow and hard, making the burn quickly give way to burning need as Joel somehow brushed against every sweet spot inside of you. 

You needed more. 

The air in the room was thick and your bodies were sticky with sweat as you pushed back up again. Planting your hands on his belly, Joel watched through glazed eyes as you swirled your hips in mind numbing circular motions. He cussed with his expression pained as he watched your glistening body undulate over him. You leaned forward and kissed him once more, licking into his mouth and sucking on his tongue as the desperation grew. 

The way his wiry curls scrubbed against your clit made pleasure shoot up from the base of your spine. Joel noticed as your legs trembled with your incoming release, making your thrusts lose their rhythm. As your legs failed, he pulled his lips from yours and sat himself up against the headboard. The same hard and slow grind as before continued with Joel’s capable hands setting the pace as you whimpered and shook. 

“Alpha,” you keened as you felt the incoming pleasure. 

Joel’s eyes met yours as he ground your cock into you, teasing your entrance with his knot to make you tremble. Needing him to claim you in every way, you whimpered his name and pushed your hips down. 

“Yeah pretty girl? You want my knot omega? It's yours now, all you gotta do is tell me,” he growled with his length tunneling deeper inside of you, carving a space for himself as he thrusted up from underneath. 

You panted and cried out, “I want it so bad. You have no idea how much I’ve been thinking about this. Everytime I - ha, fuck me - Everday in the shower, I’d use the showerhead so I could, oh shit! Alpha, please.”

He groaned and slapped the fat of your ass before he gritted out, “You touchin yourself to me in the shower baby? Fuck me, you know how many times I fucked my fist in there thinking about you? Nearly every day darling. I can’t believe I wasted it when I could’ve been cumming into this sweet pussy.”

Pussying clenching at his admission, you cried out and clawed at his shoulders. Joel’s thrusts became more erratic and he reached one hand down to your clit. As his calloused thumb strummed at your pulsing bud, the shaking in your thighs doubled as your walls began to milk him. Groaning, Joel brutally slammed you down onto his knot, locking himself inside of you as you both exploded. 

Spurts of cum painted your insides as your cunt sucked him dry. Everytime you thought he was done cumming, another wave would splash against your walls as they twitched around him. 

“F-fuck, gonna keep filling you up until it takes baby. Need it,” he growled. 

You weren’t sure if he even knew what he had said but it didn’t matter. The thought of it threw the both of you into another round of blinding pleasure and you cried out as his seed continuously splashed against your cervix. Shuddering and breathless, you slumped against Joel’s body as the last shocks of pleasure ebbed away. His hands rubbed at every inch of available skin as he soothed the fresh mark on your neck with soft kisses. 

“We should have done that two weeks ago,” you sighed as you purred from his attention to your neck. 

He snorted before he mumbled, “Pardon me ma’am, didn’t mean to vex ya with my attempts at being decent. Just how I was raised, I suppose.” 

You laughed at that and tilted your face to plant a quick peck into his hair. 

“Well old man, you made me cum two weeks ago by slapping me in the pussy. So, I really don’t know whose decency you’re talking about. Plus, did you have a good time not touching me? Because I hated it. Pretty sure I’ll die if you take your huge dick away from me again,” you said. 

Joel scoffed and shook his head at your words.    

“I don’t think I’ve ever met someone as ridiculous as you baby. You’d give Tommy a run for his money,” he chuckled. 

You rolled your eyes before you said, “You’ve never met someone like me, period Joel. That’s why it’s my mark on your neck and nobody else’s. Plus, um… me crass? Who was the one that was doing the pussy slapping? Who literally just tied me up? Pot and kettle Joelie.” 

“Uck, not Joelie, anything but that. Two people have called me that, my meemaw and my dumb brother when he was trying to piss me off. Don’t you even start with that,” Joel grumbled. 

You hummed and brushed your thumbs along his cheeks. 

“But doesn’t it sound so much better coming from me Joooellie - ah!”

He pushed you deeper on to his knot, eliciting a guttural cry from you as a weak orgasm pulsed from your core. The force of it made Joel hiss but it worked, effectively shutting you up and zapping the remaining energy from your body you melted him to him. After a brief silence, Joel spoke again. 

“The mark on my neck, it couldn’t be anybody else’s. It could only ever be you,” Joel said truthfully. 

Overcome with love and exhaustion, you kissed his neck and whispered, “Back atcha cowboy.” 

He chuckled and you nuzzled at his fresh mark. A peaceful silence fell over the room as you wrapped yourselves around each other. Joel’s hands rubbed soft circles into your skin, drawing sighs from your lips until you drifted off into a dreamless sleep for the first time in weeks. 

 - Joel - 

One day. 

One day since he had purpose again. All of the voices in Joel’s head that screamed at him every waking moment were silenced when you had claimed him. With sharp teeth burrowed into his neck, all he could only think about was you. After a lifetime of running from his past and himself, it felt like he was finally home. Joel ran his thick fingers over the mark, smiling at the memory. 

With the bond solidified, exhaustion had pulled you into an impromptu nap against him. Joel watched you sleep, tracing the outline of your face over and over again with his gaze but couldn’t bring himself to join you in rest. The thrill of being somebody’s mate had slowly morphed into shock. The surrealness of it all dizzied him. 

Joel survived being a single dad, he survived the outbreak and his daughter dying in his arms, he even survived the death of his adoptive daughter. And he had done it all on his own. For 56 years the thought of drawing someone else into his shit was unthinkable but now he had you, and you would be with him until the day he died. The thought both excited and terrified him. 

He didn’t know how he was going to do this. How would he take care of you? How could Joel look you in the eyes and tell you the truth about him? Would you leave him if you knew? Surely not, the bite mark dug into your neck assured him of that. But would you resent him for claiming you after the truth came out? The thought of your resentment made his stomach roil. 

His racing thoughts were interrupted as you woke from the impromptu nap. The smile you gave him cracked the shell around his broken soul and allowed warmth to shine through the cracks. Butterflies erupted in Joel’s stomach and made his heart thump harder against the walls of his chest. Without a second thought, he leaned forward and kissed both of your cheeks. You yawned, mumbling something about food as you roused from slumber. Joel leaned forward and brushed his lips against yours, indulging your sleepy kisses for a moment before he jumped into action. 

As Joel rose from bed, a strained groan forced its way out from behind his clenched teeth. A deep ache bloomed in his back and hips, making him lock his knees to keep himself from falling forward. He knew when he did it that he probably shouldn’t have picked you up at his age. You were a fully grown woman and he was an old man with a lifetime’s worth of sore muscles and creaky bones but he couldn’t help it. The pain that pricked at his nerves was worth it to see how your face scrunched up everytime he slammed you down onto his cock. 

He tried to play it off after the groan crawled its way out of his mouth but you were his mate. That meant that you felt his pain like your own and after a round of pointless bickering, he somehow ended up taking a bath for the first time in nearly fifty years. Hesitancy clung to Joel at first but the sight of your naked body slipping in after him made any trepidation slip away in an instant. The water was warmer than he was used to but the heat pulled all of the tension from his muscles and made him groan into your hair. 

Joel tried to be romantic and wash your hair but he almost immediately got his thick fingers stuck in the tangled strands. You laughed it off, gracious with his rusty affections even though he practically waterboarded you later on. He meant to simply wash the soap from your scalp but instead he accidentally poured the hot water directly over your face. He vehemently apologized as you sputtered and tried to explain that he was pretty sure the reason Sarah learned how to do her own hair so quickly was that she was tired of her dad getting styling cream in her eyes. 

Afterwards, you washed him and Joel tried to keep note of your technique in his own hair for future reference. He suppressed a moan as he felt fingers rubbing the product into his scalp with soothing circles. The ministrations released the tension from his muscles and made him blink sleepily at you. You smiled and pecked Joel’s lips before tilting his head back, carefully rinsing his curls as he sighed. 

Once the bath was over, the two of you had spent the rest of the day in each other's presence. He cooked and you watched from your spot on the counter, reaching out every so often to pull him into a sweet kiss. It was a miracle that the food didn’t burn. After lunch you had lured him back to bed for a few more hours, only letting him go when you collapsed from the devastating sixth orgasm he tore from you. Joel tried not to look too smug when he had to bring supper to you in bed that night as your legs shook and twitched.  

After a peaceful sleep wrapped in each other’s arms, Joel woke to the sound of you making breakfast for him. He smiled and rubbed his eyes, letting his fingers trail across his newly marked neck before he leapt from the bed. There was a pep in his step as he dressed and he suppressed a smile at the giddiness growing in his chest. The simple thought of you making food in the kitchen made his cheeks hurt. It was madness.

He paused as he left the bedroom. His eyes fell to the rose on your side of the bed. Your side of the bed. Joel’s grin widened at the thought of it, of you having a space in his life forever now. The thought would have made him run for the hills a couple of weeks ago but now, his greatest fear was losing you. 

Looking around, he saw traces of you everywhere. Dog eared books on the bedside table, dirty clothes mixed with his in the hamper, hair ties strewn across every open surface, a drawing of a wonky cat that you had drawn tacked to the wall on his side of the bed, even the rainbow quilt that adorned the bed had you written all over it. Joel never cared about which blankets he used but you insisted on using that one because of the bright colors. He didn’t mind the brightly colored blankets if it made you happy. 

As Joel stepped into the hallway it was filled with the smell of something delicious. His mouth watered from the sweetness drifting in the cold air. Stomach grumbling, he walked into the kitchen and was slapped in the face with what he saw. He froze in the doorway. Flour covered nearly every inch of the counter and Joel trembled at the sight. Sweat pricked at his hairline and his heart lurched in his chest. 

Suddenly it was 2003, his thirty second birthday, and Sarah wanted to make him pancakes. They were one of her favorite foods but that day he forgot and had left for work without a second thought. What had they eaten instead? Joel couldn’t remember. All he remembered was that the last two things that Sarah wanted in this world were pancakes and birthday cake, and she never got either. 

“Joel! Oh my god, please breathe. Look at me, you have to breathe”

The words rattled around in his mind as he fought against the fog. Your panicked face came into his field of vision, face framed with black dots as your shaky hands held his cheeks. Joel’s chest burned and he wondered momentarily if he was having a heart attack before he realized he wasn’t breathing. He gasped, sucking in air as reality bled back into his consciousness. 

“That’s it, breathe for me. There you go,” you soothed. 

Joel lifted himself to his knees, ignoring your protests and attempts to shove him back down. He needed to get out of this room. The smell of the sweet batter made his mouth fill with water and he retched. You swore and stepped back at the sound of his gags. Joel staggered out of the room and you quietly followed. 

Sarah’s laugh echoed in his haunted mind, followed by the sound of her choking on her final breaths. He looked away when she died, crying out for his brother only to be greeted with her still face when he looked back down. Why did he do that? Tommy couldn’t do anything. And Ellie. Was she scared after the tunnel? Did she look for him after she woke up? Did she wish Joel was there before they put her under for the surgery? 

Was everyone he loved doomed to die afraid? 

Was Joel doomed to watch? 

“Joel, please. You’re scaring me. What’s going on? Are you - Is it your heart?” 

Your nervous tone cut through his panicked state and Joel whirled around to face you. He felt like some sort of raging beast as adrenaline raced through his veins. He tried to conjure up an explanation but couldn’t, so he just turned away. Joel sighed as he heard your tentative steps towards him. You walked around his body and placed your hands on his aching chest. 

“I don’t want to talk about it darling, I got chores to be getting to anyways. Just eat and I’ll see you later on, okay?,” Joel tried. 

You blinked and prepared yourself to press him again. He wished you wouldn’t. 

“I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.”

Joel pushed away from you, stumbling back as anger boiled up from deep within him. He didn’t need your help, he didn’t need anybody’s help. There was no fixing this. It was something that would remain broken until the end of time, like him. 

“I don’t need your help. M’not your little project sweetheart,” he seethed. 

The moment the words were out of his mouth he regretted them but there would be no taking them back now. Not when your face morphed into a scowl and your arms crossed over your midsection in defense. Joel schooled his face and tried not to wince at the fury that buzzed through the bond you shared. 

“I never fucking called you my project. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to wonder why my mate collapsed in the kitchen and then literally ran away from me when I tried to comfort him. But what do I know?” you spat. 

Joel stiffened at your tone and matched your anger as he said, “Maybe it’s none of your fucking business. Ever thought of that?” 

A dark laugh peeled out of your mouth and he felt the room shift. He knew that he had chartered into dangerous territory but he couldn’t help it. Joel clenched his jaw and he tensed for an attack that was never going to come from you. His body couldn’t tell the difference between discomfort and danger anymore, gearing up to protect him despite the fact that he knew you would never hurt him. 

“None of my business Joel? None of my fucking business?! You, Joel Miller, are literally my only fucking business. You’re my mate and I literally know fucking nothing about you. And you know what? That’s my fault, I should have pushed you but I didn’t,” you snarled as you walked back towards the kitchen. 

A lump formed in his throat and Joel blinked away tears. He was failing you and he didn’t know how to stop it, but he knew he had to try. 

“You don’t want to know me baby. I’m a bad man. I’ve tortured and killed so many people. Hundreds probably, and I don’t even care that some didn’t deserve it. That’s how shitty I am. Murdering folk ain’t even what keeps me up at night,” Joel choked out. 

You stopped in the doorway and turned back. Joel watched your socked feet take tentative steps towards him and winced when they stopped inches away from him. 

“Tell me.”

How could he? How could he put his loss into words? How could anyone? 

“Tell me,” you repeated. 

The conviction in your voice snapped Joel to attention and he grabbed your hand. He wasn’t sure why he was doing it but he led you down the hall towards the one place he had banished you from. Pausing for a moment, Joel sighed and pushed the creaky door open. 

The room itself was largely the same, with flowers still painted on the walls and comic books still stuffed in the bookshelf, but it was torn to pieces.You stepped forward into the wreckage and gingerly surveyed it. The railings on the bunk bed had been torn off. He didn’t even remember doing that. A lamp was shattered in the corner of the room and the nightstand had been kicked over. Joel swallowed hard as you picked up the broken frame, studying the picture before you looked up at him. 

“Sarah wasn’t the only daughter you lost,” you stated. 

Joel nodded in response and braced for the big questions. How did Sarah die? How did Ellie die? How did he fail? How would he fail you?

“What was her name?” 

He blinked. 

“Ellie,” he whispered before he cleared his throat and tried again, “Her name was Ellie. She… I met her when she was fourteen. Pretty well grown but she was… If they hadn't killed her I would’ve taken care of her. She was my kid even though - ” 

You cut through his rushed words, “Ellie was your daughter. Maybe not through blood, but she was your pup.” 

He nodded again and looked down at his feet. Hot tears blurred his vision and he failed to force them down. Joel’s chest broke open. Ellie was his pup, Sarah was his pup, and they were both gone. The ground shifted beneath him and he lurched forward onto his knees. He didn’t even feel the hard wood, but he felt your arms around him after the fall. 

“They died and I couldn’t fucking do anything. The outbreak happened and that goddamn soldier shot Sarah. He shot my baby girl and she died, and I didn’t do anything besides yell for Tommy,” Joel sobbed into your chest. 

A soft comforting noise came from you and your fingers rubbed circles into his scalp. He cried hard, choking on memories as they gathered behind his eyelids. You remained silent, allowing him to cry as your hands soothed him. 

“Ellie was just cargo. That’s all she was supposed to be and then she wasn’t anymore. The fireflies wanted to use her for some bogus cure but I c-couldn’t - fuck -  I tried to get to her but her head was just split open on the fucking table and I-I,” he broke with a pained whine. 

Years of shame rolled off Joel and landed on your lap. And you took it without any complaint or accusation. His admission just made you hug him tighter to your chest as he cried. A breakdown of this magnitude would have embarrassed him normally but he didn’t care. Joel needed you like the air he breathed. He needed you and if he had to admit his deepest darkest secrets to keep you, then that was what he would do. 

You let him cry until the tears ran dry and his pained cries turned into soft whimpers. The hands in his hair tugged his head back. Joel blushed as you examined his damp face. He knew that he was probably a mess but you still looked at him like he had hung the moon. 

“They knew you loved them. That’s what matters Joel. How they died was… It was awful and I can’t even imagine how you feel, but their death isn’t what’s important. Their memory is what matters, the love is what matters,” you said softly. 

“But I was supposed to protect them and I failed. I’m a failure. And that’s why I… I just don’t want to fail you darling.” 

You scoffed and pinched his sides, forcing a sharp grunt out of his mouth. He balked at your harsh treatment as he rubbed at his reddened skin. 

“Joel Miller, you are a lot of things but don’t you dare call yourself a failure. A grump? Sure. Secretive? Undoubtedly. A miser when it comes to your friggin peanuts? One hundred per-”

He cut you off before the list could go on. 

“And I thought I was bad at comforting people. Christ darling just pile it on, why don’t ya?” he snickered. 

The tension in the room fizzled out as the two of you laughed. The pain that he felt moments before was still there but as Joel looked up at your smiling face, it felt a lot more manageable. 

“What I’m trying to say is that you act like you’re some sort of monster but it isn’t true. Everything you do is with love. Joel, love literally exudes from your very being.You’re so many things, but a failure just isn’t one of them,” you explained. 

Joel breathed in, allowing the words to settle in his soul as you pushed his hair back from his wrinkled forehead. There was a part of him that wanted to push back. A dark voice lurked in the corners of his brain and begged him to deny your kindness, but he stopped himself. Swallowing hard, he nodded and hugged you tightly. You grunted at the force of it but wrapped your arms around him anyways. 

“Sarah wanted pancakes the last day she was alive. It was my birthday and she wanted to make them. They were more for her than anything else, she loved anything sweet. I guess I haven’t really seen anyone make them since her. It just surprised me baby, that’s all,” he mumbled. 

“No oatmeal and no pancakes, aye aye captain,” you affirmed and leaned back to give him a mock salute. 

A watery laugh bubbled up from Joel’s chest and he kissed you. Tears from his face dampened your cheeks but you didn’t seem to care. Instead, he felt you pour all of your affection into his lips. His heart throbbed and he whined. The kiss was growing in intensity but Joel cut it short when his nose picked up on something. 

“Is that?”

“SHIT!,” you yelled before scrambling into the hallway. 

Joel ran after you, eyes widening at the smoke that clouded the air. As he rounded the corner, he was met with the sight of you standing still in front of the flames that roared on the stove. He cussed, nervous system spiking his adrenaline once more as he snatched the water from the fridge and tossed it on the flame. 

A sharp hiss resounded through the room and steam exploded off of the blackened circles in the pan. He reached around the billowing puffs of heat and quickly turned off the burner. 

“You didn’t turn off the burner?” he asked dumbly. 

You scoffed, “Well no, I thought you were having a heart attack Joel.” 

Annoyance surged within him. Joel’s hands came up to his hips and he popped his left knee out. 

“M’not that old,” he grumbled. 

You threw your hands in the air at his petty bickering but he knew you loved it. 

“Oh, I’m sorry Joel. You are so right. I should totally assume that when my 56 year old mate clutches at his chest and then falls over, that actually means he’s completely fine. My mistake!” you sassed him. 

Joel bit back a laugh. If there was one thing that the two of you would do, it was bicker and he loved it too. The tenseness vanished and now you were just fucking with eachother. 

“Plus, at least I wasn’t the one who just used all the water in the fridge to put out a itsy bitsy stove fire,” you added. 

“Oh, I’m sorry darling. You are so right. I should totally assume that when you start a fire in the kitchen, it’s actually because you wanted to burn our home to the ground. My mistake!,” he retorted, throwing the words right back in your face. 

A beat passed before you both erupted into laughter again. The tenseness of the situation deflated even greater as Joel watched you toss the charcoal colored dough into the trash. With the offending pancake gone, he sighed in relief. 

After the pancake incident, Joel fired you from breakfast duty and opted for the easier option of ramen noodles. The prep was too minimal for your assistance so he shooed you away to the living room. When they were done, he brought the bowls of noodles to the couch and pulled your legs onto his lap. A smile tugged at his lips while he ate. The heaviness in Joel’s chest was gone and he was sure that he would’ve floated away if it wasn’t for the weight across his lap. 

When the bowls were empty, you took the dishes back to the kitchen and commanded Joel to go refill the water from the fridge. He jokingly bowed to your demand, which you rolled your eyes at as you walked away. Joel smirked and reached out to slap your ass hard. 

“Joel!” you scolded. 

He wiggled his eyebrows at you and you laughed. The sound of your laughter was something that Joel knew he would savor until he died. 

“Water cowboy, then we’ll talk.” 

Joel flashed you a devilish grin as he quickly shoved his feet into his boots. Grabbing the first jacket he could find, he zipped up and turned to sprint towards his task. As he gripped the door handle, your voice calling out from the kitchen stopped him in his tracks. 

“Love you!” 

His heart stuttered at that. It didn’t matter how many times you said it, everytime made his mind fuzzy. 

“Love you too honey,” Joel called back as he strolled into the frosty morning. 

The walk was brisk but the sun shone down through the trees and warmed his cheeks. He barely took notice of whether the traps he passed needed to be reset or not. All of Joel’s thoughts were centered around you back in the cabin. Back home. Being away from you for even a minute tore him in half.  

The river roared with swelling waters that licked at the banks as Joel stooped down to fill the bucket. The current was strong this winter, with thick chunks of ice that raced along the surface and slammed into each other. Summer came to mind. A grin came to his face as he thought about how nice it was to cool off in the calmer waters. He was excited to share the perfect swimming hole that existed just a short walk away. Joel shook his head and tried to focus on pulling the bucket up on the bank. He knew he would ditch his task if he thought about swimming alongside you for too long. 

His ears pricked at a rustling noise behind him. Joel heard the distinct sound of footsteps coming out from the treeline behind him and smiled. Relief filled him. It was good to know that he wasn’t insane for missing you from the moment he stepped outside.  

“Listen, I missed you too darling. But Christ, s’cold out here. You’re gonna freeze,” he teased. 

You didn’t answer and Joel turned his head, only to be met with the but of a rifle as it slammed into his face.

[mouwrites]

Hiii um. South Park :3

Maybe… main four and butters with a short ftm reader?

South Park :3 (I'm so sorry if this isn't that good, I'm not quite used to writing for an ftm reader,, I'm trying though I promise)

South Park - Main Four (+ Butters) With a Short FtM Reader

Kyle

Kyle is pretty tall, so he's used to people being shorter than him

Having to bend down for kisses and what not doesn't bother him

He'd never admit it, but he actually loves when you pull him down to your height for a kiss

He just likes a little assertiveness now and again, but only from you

If you're ever insecure about your body or masculinity, he's got facts and figures to validate you

And he'll absolutely listen if you need to vent

One of his favorite activities is destroying transphobes with the same info he uses to comfort you (plus some colorful insults ofc)

He discovers this the very first time he defends you against transphobes at school

"Are you okay? That guy was a major asshole."

"Am I okay? You should be asking the other guy! Cripes, you demolished him!"

"That's what he gets for dissing my boyfriend."

Stan

Whether he wants to admit it or not, Stan can appreciate a partner who'll wear the pants in the relationship every now and again

He has his share of insecurities as well, so he's got empathy for yours

He's the best listener for said insecurities, but as for advice...

He could use some himself,, he can't offer you much

He'll shower you in affection to make up for it though! Words of affirmation are his go-to, even if they are a tad awkward

He also sometimes uses humor to distract you

If someone ever misgenders/deadnames you, he'll immediately correct them with a glare

If the transphobia gets too intense though, the best he can do is get you away while making a few digs at the assailant(s)

He'll check to make sure you're okay once you're alone

"Yeah, I'm okay, I guess. Just... sucks, I guess."

"I'ou'll always be my big tough boyfriend. Well, maybe not big."

"Pfff, thanks, babe."

Cartman

He bullies you so much for being short

Secretly he thinks it’s adorable, which is why he keeps bringing it up

If you tell him to stop, he might ease up a little, but won’t completely quit it

Very blunt when it comes to comforting you

He’ll absolutely just interrupt you if you start spiraling while venting

He gives brief but sincere reassurance before insisting on cuddling while watching TV

He won’t openly defend you because he doesn’t want people to see his soft spot for you

His defense is more indirect

Like if someone deadnames you he immediately spits out:

“Kill yourself.”

“Cartman!”

You act all shocked, but you appreciate his efforts, subtle as they are

Kenny

Honestly he doesn’t really care that you’re short

He likes to try and pick you up sometimes though

This usually ends with you both laughing on the ground after he inevitably stumbles

When you come to him about your insecurities, he insists on touching you while you speak

He’d prefer to have you in his lap while he whispers validations in your ear, but he’ll settle for hand-holding or even just pinky-locking

If anyone ever so much as insinuates anything transphobic, it’s on sight

He’s throwing hands before they even finish the sentence

You’ve had to pull him off multiple people

You don’t apologize though (unless it was a genuine misunderstanding)

“They’re not gonna bother you anymore, babe.”

“I think they’re just scared of me now…”

Butters

Short person solidarity!!

The most supportive boyfriend ever

Definitely has at least one of those t-shirts that’s just the trans flag

Absolutely beams whenever he wears them, but he won’t tell people that you’re trans if you don’t want him to

Gets really pouty when you’re insecure

You’re just so amazing and valid in his eyes, how could you not see it?

Will vent right back at you about how awesome and cool and manly you are

But he’ll also just shut up and listen if you tell him that’s what you need

Gets even more pouty when people are transphobic

It’s more of an angry pout, though

You guys team up to battle the transphobes 💪

“Hey! That is not nice! His name is Y/n and he is a boy!”

“Yeah, asshole!”

This is my first time writing an ftm reader, so pretty please do let me know how I can improve!! I’m ready to learn!

I hope this was okay anon, thank you for your request! And thanks for reading :D

(divider by saradika)

[synthetickitsune]

Wonwoo (Seventeen) | Out late angst | 1k TW: depression, implied self-harming tendencies?, a lil' vent-ish

“So care to tell me what you were doing out so late? Without a hat or a scarf?” Wonwoo asks, voice stern as he sits down, setting the two mugs of steaming tea down on the table. You’d like to believe his voice was only like that because he was fully concentrated on not spilling anything, but you’re not that naive. 

“I told you,” you say sheepishly, “I just went for walk, got lost in my thoughts and lost track of time.” 

You can see in his eyes he doesn’t believe a word. Sometimes you hate how perceptive he is and how well he knows you. He doesn’t push though, for now at least, and you’re grateful for that. 

You take the mug into your hands and let the warmth seep into your frozen body. You haven’t yet stopped shivering, but it’s better with each passing second. You have a feeling Wonwoo would chew you out more if it wasn’t for your nearly hypothermic state.

Risking a quick glance, you see him spacing out, staring at the steam rising from his own mug. You wonder what’s going on in his mind. Maybe he really is more angry with you than he lets on…

“I’m sorry I’m taking advantage of you like this,” you mumble quietly. You don’t want to aggravate him further. 

The book he was reading lies on the table, and judging by the soothing playlist gently humming in the background and scented candle burning further in front of you, you’ve interrupted him at a very sensitive time. He doesn’t mess around when he gets consumed by a good book.

“You’re not,” he sighs. But he doesn’t get it and you suppose you’ll never be ready to talk to him, so no better time than now. You don’t let him continue, interrupting him as he takes a breath.

“No, I-” you let your head hang low. Maybe it’d be better not to speak about it. You know Wonwoo will get concerned, and you really don’t want that. At the same time, you feel so lost that you hope that by telling him you’ll ruin something. And isn’t that what you’ve been doing until now?

“I do. I am kind of using you right now,” you admit and you know it makes zero sense to him. Well, it objectively makes no sense, but that’s your brain in a nutshell.

“Okay, explain,” he says simply, turning his body towards you. His voice is gentler, and maybe you’d appreciate it more if it didn’t make tears prick at your eyes.

“Uhm,” you swallow, unsure of how to best explain it. He’s patient, however, and he lets you take your time. “Okay, well, part of the reason I came here, no, the reason I came here was that I just, I don’t know, wanted to know I have, like, my person somewhere in the world? Nobody else comes even close, I guess. Sorry.” You can’t even look at him.

“Don’t apologize,” he reassures. His hand touches your knee softly before settling there. “Does it have anything to do with why you stayed out so late?”

You shrug. You feel like there’s a void sitting inside your ribcage, heavy and bleeding into each aspect of reality surrounding you.

“Maybe,” you chuckle, “It was just so cold outside. It felt good. I walked and walked, and then I really wanted to be somewhere surrounded by nature. But we’re in the middle of the city, and - please don’t be mad, I know - I went to the park.”

You don’t need to look at him to know it made him upset. You feel his gaze burning into your body.

“There are trees. I didn’t know where else to go. I just wanted to escape. It was dark and quiet, and lonely. I promise I was careful and I kept checking I was alone,” you stress that to him, but he doesn’t budge. You don’t like seeing him like this. “I wouldn’t even go in if there were people anyway. I wanted to be alone.”

He’s silent. Unsettlingly so. You’d prefer he yelled at you. As it is, you feel like you’ve burned the bridge connecting you and him. And that’s what you wanted, right? Somehow. You wanted ruin, so why doesn’t the possibility of getting it bring you any satisfaction? Why are you still so hollow?

“y/n,” Wonwoo finally speaks, a long sigh around the sound. He takes your hands into his, slowly, gently stroking your skin. “Tell me what’s going on.”

You hate him. You hate his concerned voice, softer and more like a reassuring rumble of storm than usually, and you hate the way it makes you tear up. You shake your head.

“Nothing. I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you want to snap at him, but there’s no bite.

“There’s more ways than one to hurt yourself,” his voice hardens for a split second, not unkindly, “And I’m your person. I’m here.”

You sniffle. Something finally breaks inside of you and the void pours from your chest all the way to your fingertips. It keeps flowing like water and the tears that spill from your eyes.

“I don’t know,” you confess quietly, and soon your words are mumbled by Wonwoo’s warm chest, “It just hurts. Existing hurts. Breathing hurts.”

His arms are firm and real around you, and they keep you whole as you fall apart. He doesn’t speak. There isn’t anything to say anyway. But he holds you, and it’s enough. His palms rub patterns over your back and gently massage along your spine. 

When you finish crying, he tells you you’re staying the night. So you do. And he holds you some more as you lie in bed with him, shushing you gently when you need it.

When the sun rises, the pain’s still there. The air feels like it’s shredding your lungs, but only until you breathe in Wonwoo’s scent. It’s distraction enough, if only for a moment.

[ikamigami]

Sorry for not saying anything for the past day. I've been trying to gather my thoughts and feelings over the whole situation. I'm not even sure what to say since I'm usually the "listen quietly and give small indications that I'm listening while someone vents" type of comfort. I'm afraid I'll say the wrong thing and make things worse for you. If simply mentioning the situation brings you back to a bad mind-space, please ignore this then and go about your day.

But I want to say that I love your analysis, the passion you have, and hope this situation didn't take away what appears to be something you enjoy doing for any other character you like to analyze. What happened was too far. Whether it was targeted to someone else or you, in the end people got hurt and you were one of them. You deeply connected to a character and worried for them, that's not something to be ashamed of. Whether you're right or wrong, that was your personal interpretation and it's not like you made a petition to make your interpretation true and harassed others. If it somehow came off that way to other people, the situation could have been handled better. Again, sorry being quiet until now. We're new mutuals and I wasn't sure if I should say anything. I'm glad others, however, had shown their support to you and helped you through all of that. Please take care of your mental health and I hope today is better than yesterday for you.

And sorry for making this anonymous. My anxiety is getting the better of me. If anything I wrote made you upset or if this itself is overstepping a boundary as a new mutual, please know that I'm sorry and to please just ignore anything I said/delete this. I don't plan to do something like this ever again.

You're absolutely fine. It's okay, dear anon 💗

I understand the hesitation. I also often hesitate when I want to say something that it makes me anxious.

Thank you so much for your kind words and support. Even though you're just a new mutual, you already expressed such deep concern about my well-being and I can't thank you enough for this ^^

They told me that it felt to them that my theories come across as if I think that I'm right and I'm upset when others don't agree with me.. which is true kind of.. idk anymore.. I also thought that others theories also had that feel to me.. but no one was upset so I am probably at fault.. right?

I left Discord on January.. and even before I stopped talking about it.. and I focused to talk about it only on my blog on Tumblr.. but one time I went under someone else's blog and there was an argument and I apologized and I promised that I won't do that again.. and I think that I didn't do that.. but idk.. I'm not sure..

Some people blocked me and that's fine and I blocked some people to so we wouldn't uspet each others.. but I was still upsetting everyone..

I.. I just.. Do VAs really think about me like if I was like that Miku fan..? I wish for to know for sure but I think that this is true.. Were they harassed because of me? Because of my posts? I hope not.. but idk.. I can't be sure..

I..

It's okay..

You're so kind. Thank you so much for liking my analysises ^^ I appreciate your words and support 💗

Your words mean a lot to me, thank you 🫂

[precieslythat]

Title: For your protection (part 1/3)

Pairing: Leon Kennedy, Y/N

Characters: Leon, Ashely, Ada, Y/N

———

[NOTE] Before we begin, I apologize for the horrible format I have for this post. I have no idea as to what I’m doing, so we gotta bare with it until ‘ole silly me figures it out, okay? :,)

@gettingsilly posted about a possible plot idea involving a Jealous Leon, and with my mood being down as of late, I do what brings me comfort—writing and bringing enjoyment to others. This part will be pretty uneventful, but I promise next chapter will have a lot more going on xx

———

His sunken blue eyes grew tired with each rugged step he took, the stinging sensation in Leon’s arm nearly too painful to ignore. As he continued his path, never wavering for any infected plaga, the man was forced to shoot any obstacle stopping him from extracting baby eagle, despite the injured shoulder.

Large amounts of swear trickled down the man’s forehead as he ran down the narrow, claustrophobic hallways — breathing at this point being just an afterthought. He couldn’t stop. He wouldn’t stop.

As Leon clutched onto his shoulder, he only grimaced at the sight of the blood now transferred to his hand. He would need to find green herbs or first aid spray, it didn’t matter. Continuing his aimless running down the hallways, blue eyes searched his surroundings for anything of use for him to use on his injury.

“Las plaaagas,” a distorted voice called out. Leon’s attention immediately directed to the source of the sound, body tense. The man held his gun flush against him, aiming his sights around him as he searched for the infected. He took cautious, slow steps backwards while never wavering in his form despite his pains. His piercing eyes looked rough and focused, ‘the healing will have to wait.’

A wave of thoughts crossed Leon’s mind as a lengthy arm suddenly reached out from the vents just above him, gripping onto his injured shoulder. This resulted in a muffled groan of pain behind gritted teeth from the blonde as Leon arched his back for a better view of the vent, aiming his sights at the disfigured arm gripped onto him, his fingers pressed firmly on the trigger as he shot the monstrosity. The monster let go on impact, however not before letting out a screech of pain of its own, leaving a breathless Leon behind as it scurried off.

“Fuck,” Leon managed to let out while the ringing in his ear from the shot leaving him stunned, his breathing still erratic as he tried taking a moment to gather his thoughts. His shoulder was beyond fucked, the only thing providing a relief being the high of the thrill at the moment. “That thing really did a number on me…”

Suddenly feeling faint Leon’s body collapsed on the nearest wall, the blood from his shoulder now painted onto the wall. With a soft yet weak chuckle Leon sighed, “Only good thing that bastard was good for was the adrenaline rush.”

The man ejected the magazine of his revolver and replaced it, knowing the previous shot was the last of it. He didn’t have much ammo anymore he realized, the ammunition he had on his person being dangerously scarce. Not only did he not have any herbs on him, he was soon to run out of ammo as well. “My day just keeps getting better,” he remarked to himself in response to his lack of supplies, still feeling fairly weak.

With one quick motion Leon forced himself to balance his weight without relying on the aid of a wall, deciding now was not the time to feel sorry for himself and to suck it up — He had a mission to complete and although a stab wound had the potential of physically keeping him from doing so, it did not have the capability to stop him mentally.

Despite physical limitations, Leon did not falter. With his gun held closely to his side he eventually found the possible location as to where baby eagle, Ashley, could be at. Being greeted by a chair in your face is certainly one way to greet your savior, but Leon knew Ashely must’ve been scared and paid no mind to her attempt at self defense, Instead offering reassurance to attempt to calm her.

“Ashley! Ashley, calm down!” Leon Attempted to reason with the girl, the so called baby eagle, attacking him. He lifted his arms in the air as he watched Ashley lower the chair, a look of relief etched onto the older man’s face as he spoke. “My name is Leon Kennedy, your father sent me here for you.”

“My.. My father?” She managed to say, still unsure whether to trust the man in front of her. She studied him closely, noticing all the scars scattered across his biceps as her eyes trailed to his bloodied shoulder revealed by the tears in his shirt. “Your shoulder! You’re bleeding!”

“I am,” Leon replied with a nod. The horrified look on the girl’s face caused a wave of brief sadness to wash over him, having realized the sight of him bloodied could possibly cause more trauma to her. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

As if he had read her mind Ashley slightly perked up at Leon’s words. The girl nodded shyly in response, somewhat hesitant with his promise yet also determined. “I won’t leave until you promise me you can keep her safe too.”

Leon’s brow slightly rose in question before nodding, crossing his arms in the process. “Who?”

Ashley offered a shy smile to the man before beckoning for a young woman to come out from the corner of the room, hidden behind the wardrobe.

“Y/N.”

[bloodytornwings]

2000semocat / Scourgethecat

Promise this’ll fr be my last post about her, but I remembered something that I found funny and infuriating because it pertains to me and reminds me of a certain situation lmao. I’m not gonna talk about Scourge anymore after this post, I just wanted to get it out of my system.

See under cut.

For context, Scourge was running an “investigation” on another weirdo and suddenly brought up that she “didn’t see him as a friend anymore.” I asked why she would see him as one to begin with, and she said it was because he called her his friend on a discord call. I said that’s not how friendship works, she brings up her elementary school friends as the reason she “runs to people that could hurt her” and I say “you can’t let that affect you today, you just can’t.” I’d been very open about the fact I feel little to no empathy and I’m very straightforward and don’t like to sugarcoat things btw.

She shoots me a message like the next day saying that she saw my messages as victim blaming. I don’t think much of it and move on with my day after apologizing (to get her off my back).

Come to find out on the same day she sent that message, she had gone to somebody else’s DMs to vent about me, saying I made her cry, and that when I responded to her message I gave her a “panic attack” or some shit.

Even the person she vented to about me didn’t see how my messages were victim blaming her. Again, I don’t like sugarcoating things and I tell things straightforward.

Oh yeah, the other person who was apart of the whole conversation on June 21st wasn’t even mentioned in like, Scourge’s vents. It was only me being dogged on. She didn’t even talk to the other person about it, only me.

If I had a nickel for every time Scourge said a 15 year old gave her panic attacks and she used serious terms to describe something that didn’t even fit the description of said term, I’d have 2 nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird considering it happened twice (aka during the angelwowings situation/mess where Scourge said Tulip “love bombed” her in her “testimony” against Tulip. The doc is still up if you wanna see it by the way, but it’s one of the dumbest things I’ve been apart of to say the least).

[dragon-queen21]

Sanji vent regression hc's

tw: vent post, self harm

~~~

Why am I obsessed with Sanji being small and soggy?

Like, vent regression? Nah, nah, nah. Soggy baby hours™

Sanji spending most of his time curled up with Zoro or Luffy cuddling. They’re the strongest on the ship his mind supplies, so therefore able to protect him better than say Nami or Robin, who he much rather be cuddling with in any different situation.

No cooking allowed, he’s too baby. “Besides he’d probably do something dumb like burn his hand and cry about it.” Explained Zoro, who had no idea that said explanation was going to make Sanji cry anyways.

He misses Zeff and gets bad thoughts thinking that his father figure left him on purpose. That he was no longer being useful and no longer wanted at the Baratie. The old man probably didn’t want a burden like him. Luffy does his best to explain why that isn’t true, bringing up his own father figure Shanks and telling stories as a nice distraction for the little guy.

Possibly calling up the ex-pirate when Sanji needs verbal reassurance. He’d probably be super embarrassed, even if Zeff already knew he regressed when he was back at the Baratie. ‘Stupid eggplant, what in heavens name got into that brain of yours to make you think I hated you? Hmm!? I swear if I was there I’d give you something to actually cry about. No more tears, okay?” and they’d sit on the phone talking for hours till Sanji feels better overall.

He’ll cry at the drop of a hat. Literally. Will literally start crying if Luffy drops his hat even if it happens across the deck and has nothing to do with Sanji himself. Just reminds him that he isn’t doing anything useful at the moment besides feeling soggy.

Nami would share one of her tangerines with him, only on particularly bad days, just to try and get a smile from the regressed cook.

He probably has old (and maybe some more recent) self harm scars. Triggering as hell if they’re ever brought up. The original crew knows not to even mention his arms when he’s small but probably not some of the newer members like Robin and Franky. When they first joined they bring it up due to concern without knowing any better. “Sanji, what are these from?” “Are these new?” “Why didn’t you let Chopper take a look at you if you were injured?” “Who did this to you?” He starts crying again at all this, trying to push whoever it was away and damn near hyperventilates. They’d apologized after for coming off as so insensitive and promised not to bring it up again unless it was deemed an emergency.

Will also be sad if he so much as sees his own arms littered in scars. Just start shaking his arms a bunch, as if that would do him any good with getting the marks to show up less. This situation leads him to wearing oversized clothes most of the time when he’s feeling small and a direct order from Luffy to his crew as reminder not to tease Sanji about the change of outfit.

Just sitting next to Robin and sniffling while she reads to him a story and pets the top of his head in a soothing manner, reassuring him that everything is going to be okay and that all the bad, icky feelings, are going to get better eventually.

[princess-of-the-corner]

Kinda curious now, what are your thoughts on Adrichat asking Maribug out instead of coming clean about figuring out her identity. I searched on your blog but if you've talked about it before the search function won't bring it up

I kinda wish we would have gotten something like that in the show properly. At the very least it would make their issues in S4 less one sided

It's.... complicated.

While I don't think I've made a post about it, I think I addressed it decently both through my writing of their romance in Lady Luck(where Adrien is the only one with a secret identity in the first place and Mari is in love with Chat), and through that one idea I had for a 'toxic ladrien dating' thing.

I understand Adrien's hesitance to tell Marinette that he knows her identity. I do 100% think he should have told her! But LB was always the much more hesitant one when it came to the identities, and she's rejected 'Chat' many times in favor of 'Adrien'.

Not only is he worried that she's going to have a huge panic and maybe try to get them to stop being partners because of the danger, but he fears that she might like him better as 'Adrien' than 'Chat'. (not in a 'true selves' way, but both are a persona and the real Adrien is a mix. Would she like the real Adrien though?)

Bonus points for the fact that while he's sure of his own feelings, she might take this revelation in a similar way of him loving 'Ladybug' and not 'Marinette'.

So he's hesitant to tell her, but very much in love with her, so he goes for the romance. And is probably trying to figure out a good way to tell her, but he hesitates. And the longer he hesitates, the harder it gets to tell her.

Adrien has also grown up in a household where, if he wants to have any sort of happiness, then a lot of times it's an 'ask forgiveness rather than permission' type of situation. Not justified either, but again a reason.

I still do think this is a bit sketchy, as he should have told her. Both so she knows and they're on equal ground, but also so that she's aware of the new layer of danger. That was a Bad Move™.

Now, my main problem with the hypothetical presented in Chat Blanc, of Adrien knowing Mari is Ladybug and dating her without telling her he knows and that he's Chat.

Is that there's a lot of room for potential manipulation.

We don't get to see where this goes! Because their dates in Chat Blanc are all just a montage of 'everything's perfect until Gabriel decides to be a big old bag of dicks'.

But there's a lot of things that he could do. Maybe it's something small and innocent, like Chat knows that Maribug had a bad day so Adrien shows up at the perfect time to give comfort. Maybe Ladybug spies a dress in the window she adores and the next day Adrien buys it for Marinette.

And that doesn't seem too bad. But there are things that she would vent to a friend like Chat rather than Adrien. Sometimes about Adrien. What happens when they have a fight, as all couples do, and she asks Chat for advice? Would he try to abstain knowing that he's biased, or would he tell her that her boyfriend is right and that she should feel bad for not listening to him?

Now, again: We never get to see this in the show. We never grapple with it. But it could have been interesting if we did, and that I'd have more of a 'hey that's FUCKED' stance on. Ofc Adrien can step back, learn from it, and fix it. But I think Marinette would have a right to be hurt.

Which is another thing that Chat Blanc didn't show us: Marinette's reaction to finding out how long he's known her identity.

I think she should have had every right to be mad at him. To yell and scream and call him out on that move. Maybe even break up with him and hell possibly even step back for a minute and let Scarabella handle things for a while because this has thrown off their whole partnership.

Ultimately he'd apologize, admit it was kinda fucked, promise to do better, and she'd forgive him and they'd start dating again on equal terms this time.

[ghost-town-story]

FebruarOC Day 26: Zinnia

(Bear the human and Bear the bear have finally gotten named! Fuck yeah!)

Zinnia ran as fast as her feet could carry her, darting through the now-familiar hallways towards the door to the outside. She didn’t know what she was going to do, once she reached it. She didn’t know what she should do. All she knew was that she had to get out of here as quick as possible, with Amaranth, and without getting caught.

She skidded around a corner and found herself in the lobby facing the door. Fear shot through her, bringing with it another rush of adrenaline, but Zinnia forced herself to swallow it down as she ran for the door, darting around the unsuspecting adults.

“Zinnia!”

Zinnia didn’t recognize the voice, and the additional spike of panic spurred her to go even faster as she crashed into the door. Amaranth chittered on her shoulder, her claws digging into Zinnia’s skin, but then the door gave way and they both tumbled outside for the first time.

Zinnia took a few stumbling steps, but not even the fear was enough to keep her going now. Not when everything was too bright and too unfamiliar and too loud and—

“Zinnia!”

Zinnia shrieked as somebody grabbed her by the shoulder and turned her around. Almost immediately, Pyxis let go of her and raised his hands.

“Sorry,” he apologized. “I didn’t mean to scare you, it just seemed like you couldn’t hear me.”

Zinnia panted, staring at him with wide eyes. He seemed… normal. Almost too normal, considering the morning she’d had.

“Are you okay?” Pyxis asked. “What’s wrong?”

Zinnia shook her head, her panting turning to unsteady gasps.

“Can I touch you?” Pyxis asked softly.

Zinnia immediately darted for him and flung her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder. Pyxis wrapped his arms around her, and Zinnia finally felt safe, like nobody could find her hidden here.

“I know,” Pyxis murmured, keeping his mouth close to her ear so she could hear him over all the other noises around. “It’s really different out here, huh. If you told me you wanted to explore out here I woulda come with you, so it’s a bit less overwhelming.”

Zinnia shook her head again, still gasping for air.

“Do you want to go inside for a bit and sit? Then we can come back out when you’ve calmed down a bit.”

Zinnia shook her head even more emphatically, pushing herself away from Pyxis. He looked confused and a bit hurt at the action, but Zinnia didn’t give him a chance to speak. “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

Everything was confusing and terrifying, but Zinnia wanted to trust Pyxis so bad it hurt.

“Something—something bad happened this morning,” she admitted. “And—and somebody talked to me beforehand, warned me that—that—he told me I should get out of the building and run and I don’t understand—”

Her voice broke on a sob. Pyxis stepped forward to pull Zinnia into another hug, and she didn’t resist.

“What happened?” he asked.

“I don’t—I don’t understand,” Zinnia gasped. “It happened and then it didn’t and I went through the vents before it could happen again.”

“Your powers again?”

“M—Maybe.”

Pyxis hummed, his entire chest vibrating with the noise. “If somebody’s trying to hurt you, then we gotta let somebody know,” he said. “I can tell my handler, if you want. I gotta go talk to her anyways, she got my hibernation schedule messed up and my door was locked this morning.”

Zinnia felt a cold flash of fear at his words. “Pyxis, what if she’s in on it too?” she asked. “They—they looked a lot of the other adults I saw yesterday, when I was getting tested, what if—”

“Hey.” Pyxis put a hand on her cheek and held her gaze, honey eyes warm and gentle. “I promise things are going to be okay. Will you let me help you?”

Zinnia was tired and scared, her chest hurt from too much running and crying, and Amaranth was abnormally silent on her shoulder, only the occasional twitch of her tail indicating she was still listening. But where she was small, scared, and helpless, Pyxis was tall and strong and brave, warm and gentle and sweet.

Zinnia sniffed and rubbed her eyes. “Okay,” she whispered.

Pyxis nuzzled the side of her head. “I’ll take care of you,” he murmured, and despite her worries, Zinnia knew he meant it. “Come on,” he said, pulling away and taking her hand. “Let’s go inside, okay?”

“But…” Zinnia hesitated.

“You don’t have to go back to your room,” Pyxis said. “In fact, you probably shouldn’t for a while. But there’s places for you to hide inside, where it’s familiar and not quite so scary and overwhelming. And I’ll come find you as soon as I’ve talked to my handler.”

“Okay,” Zinnia agreed, and she let Pyxis pull her back towards the door she’d burst out of.

[tinywy-frost]

The Future's Calling

(( A/N: Wanted to write a little thing as my brain is very active in a lot of different ways at the moment. Not intended as any kind of vent writing, though apologies if that does seem what it is. Everything is fully character driven, I promise! /gen Aside from that, I hope you all enjoy, and I plan to leave it open ended so asks are welcome afterwards! I wanna be able to interact with folks a bit more on here if I can. ))

The time was roughly around what would be described as early evening, the sun just starting to set down in between the buildings in the city. The light from its rays casting a gentle orange glow over everything, those out still walking the streets also bathed in this light when they passed through it. This time was around when a lot of folks tend to settle into the house for dinner, whether it was something freshly homemade, or simply take-out from some local restaurant.

One instance of this taking place was in the Aster household. A single mother and her adoptive child that she met only a couple years prior to the current events. Jacqueline, or Jackie for short, was a woman who gives off the air of 'I'm not going to take shit from anybody.' She owned a tattoo parlor underneath the apartment the two lived in, only having two other people that come in during the day to help out with any customers they might have.

At night, whenever she was home, the daughter would help watch over the place in case of any intruders or similar. Where they lived was not the worst place to have a home or a business, but it also wasn't the best. Jackie had some folks in her past that still liked to try and come by to take what they were owed, even if they had been payed off years ago. This used to be a problem, until Frost came along.

Frost Aster, formally known as F-04-0430-25, is an escapee from a testing facility that used to hold their headquarters outside of town. That was, until, a certain breakout happened, rendering everyone and everything in the building wiped out and the place left as a frozen, bloody graveyard. No one knew about what had happened, as no one was thought to have survived, aside from Frost.

Flashbacks of her past would plaque her occasionally, either bringing her nightmares, or the occasional breakdowns where she simply shutdown and did nothing until snapped back into the present. As time passed, these episodes have gotten fewer and fewer, and were now a brief conversation brought up by Frost when it was on her mind.

"...I don't know if where I'm heading in my life is a good direction, mom."

Frost was seated at the dining room table, a plate of pasta and garlic bread in front of her as the two were settled down for dinner. She had her fork in hand, idly spinning the noodles around on the end of it as she was careful not to fling sauce everywhere. Seeing a red splatter on the table cloth would not help her train of thought right now.

"What makes you say that, dear, everything alright?"

Jackie's tone was always softer and calmer when it came to Frost, knowing since day one of meeting her that she was missing a parental figure in her life, and had been since she was very young. A soft tink is heard from the utensil she was using as she places it down next to her plate and reaches over, gently resting her now free hand on Frost's. "You can talk to me, I'm right here.."

The young woman's downcast eyes slowly lift up to look at her adoptive mother's gaze, nervous icy blue orbs peering into comforting chocolaty brown ones. There was no response from either for a few moments, before Jackie softly speaks up again.

"It's about the lab, isn't it...?"

It had taken about a year for Frost to fully trust Jackie enough to explain to her all that had happened at the lab she could remember. If the facility wasn't already destroyed, Jackie would have marched in there herself and given everyone who worked at I.P.L. (Investigation of Phenomenon Laboratory) a piece of her mind.

The word 'lab' caused Frost to flinch in the slightest, turning her head to the side and letting out a shaky breath. "Partially... it's... it's really complicated right now." She was hesitating, not wanting to explain too much to her mother, but she knew she also couldn't hide anything from her either. "It's not just the lab... that's- that's in the past but..."

"...there's stuff going on that's making me feel like I had back then... back when I escaped. I'm scared of myself sometimes now but... I can't tell if it feels... right or not..."

The concerned look in her brown eyes spread into a soft frown on her face as Jackie carefully reaches out and places her hand on Frost's cheek in a motherly way, gently tilting her head up to meet her eyes again. "Frost, look at me..." Her voice was calm still as she was choosing her words very carefully. She didn't know what exactly Frost was going through right now, but she still wanted to be supportive for her.

"No matter what it is that's going on, I still love you. Just take things one step at a time in your life, focus on where you want to take things."

Jackie gently pulls her hand back before picking up her fork again. "Only you can take the reigns of your Life and lead it to where you want to travel. And it's up to you if you travel alone, or with others." There was a slight, knowing twinkle in her eyes, before she resumes eating her pasta. "Now don't forget to eat, dear, don't want your food getting cold~"

Frost had lowered her head again slightly when her mom pulled her hand away, before she quietly picks up her own fork again and actually starts eating this time. Jackie may not have said much, but what she had said got Frost's mind going. Her thoughts were quickly lost and scattered about what all she could do with her Life... who all she could meet... those she could spend her Life with...

As more time passes, dinner came to an end as both of them finished eating and placed their dirty plates into the dishwasher. Jackie was setting things up to run the dirty dishes through a cycle overnight, pouring the soap into the small compartment it goes into. Frost was hesitating in the doorway, watching for a few moments, then clearing her throat and speaking up.

"Thanks for dinner, mom.. and for the small talk.. I'll be heading out for a bit. Planning on getting some fresh air and a way to try and clear my head a bit better."

Jackie lifts her head up and a soft smile is shared between the two. "Alright, just be safe. And text me in case you're not going to make it home tonight."

A soft response of 'Will do.' is given before Frost is swiftly out the front door, her phone tucked into her pocket and her beanie snug and secure on her head. Even though there still wasn't many people out and about at night, she still wanted to keep at least somewhat of a normal appearance.

Her current destination was the park, wanting to feel the gentle breeze of the night air brush past her as she has her gaze on the sky above, seeing what glimpses of the stars she could see in the patch of nature amongst the bustling city. Her thoughts were still scattered, but they were of more manageable topics now as she spends her time talking a walk, her hands resting in her pockets.

"Maybe I should go on a trip again, just so I can see the stars shine bright once more..."

Seeing as it was not too late still, there is always a chance of someone else being around the park, or even someone sending a message to Frost on her phone... Whatever Life is to throw at her this night, she would take it in stride and see where things go...