#apologies for the emotional whiplash

[ghosttotheparty]

love me softly p19

part 18

Eddie’s alarm clock wakes them up.

Steve startles, still laying on top of Eddie, and then he groans into Eddie’s neck, nuzzling closer as Eddie smacks the alarm clock off.

Eddie sighs, wrapping his arms around him and turning his face into Steve’s hair.

“You have an awful clock,” Steve mumbles, his voice low and rumbly. Eddie laughs quietly, running his hand up Steve’s bare back. His skin is warm.

“Sorry.”

Steve sighs, his breath hot on Eddie’s neck, and Eddie drags his fingertips over his spine. After a quiet moment Steve groans softly, pressing his face into Eddie.

“Don’t fall asleep,” he grumbles. “I told Wayne we’d get to school on time.”

“You don’t wanna skip with me?” Eddie asks as Steve sits up, following him up, propping himself up with his hands behind him. Steve sits next to him, smiling sleepily, his hands in his lap. Eddie squints at him, his eyes skimming over him, over his sleep-tousled hair and pink cheeks, lingering on the soft rolls of his stomach. Eddie wants to bite him.

“Maybe if Wayne didn’t say anything about us getting to school on time,” Steve says, smiling.

Eddie looks at the ceiling, sighing heavily.

“Dammit, Wayne.”

Steve laughs softly, and then he leans forward and touches Eddie’s chin, kissing him softly.

“Good morning, Eddie baby,” he says quietly.

“Good morning,” Eddie murmurs, his cheeks flushing. Steve smiles and kisses him again.

“Wayne’s in the living room,” Eddie says as he’s stretching. “I’ll go find you a toothbrush and whatnot.”

“Thank you,” Steve says softly, following him up and stretching, arching his back and groaning quietly. “I’ll get dressed.”

Eddie hums.

“Unfortunate.”

He steps up behind Steve as he’s looking for his shirt that he tossed away last night, sliding his hands across his waist and squeezing and kneading at his belly and hips. He’s so soft. Eddie rests his forehead on Steve’s shoulder, groaning quietly.

Steve sighs when Eddie’s chest presses to his back, his head falling back. He hums when Eddie squeezes his belly again.

“Don’t distract me,” he says after a moment, and Eddie can hear his smile in his voice.

Eddie kisses the side of his neck.

“M’kay.”

He finds a spare toothbrush under the sink. Brings it to Steve as Steve is pulling his jeans on. His shirt is wrinkled, the collar uneven. Eddie hands the toothbrush to him and fixes his collar wordlessly before he kisses his forehead.

“‘M gonna make breakfast,” he says as he finishes dressing.

“‘M gonna brush my teeth,” Steve says. He’s leaning against the wall, watching Eddie button his jeans. Eddie blushes, smoothing his shirt and finding his rings on the bedside table. Steve gazes as he puts them on. “You’re really hot, you know that?”

Eddie’s face flushes with even more heat, and he looks at the floor, grinning.

“Don’t distract me,” he says, tugging Steve into a chaste kiss before he goes to the kitchen.

He hears Steve laugh behind him.

He’s smiling as he makes their breakfasts (toasted bagels with eggs and cheese and probably too much salt and pepper), listening to Wayne snoring and the bathroom sink running, happy.

He’s finishing Steve’s sandwich when he feels him approach from behind him, and his smile grows when Steve’s hands push under the hem of his t-shirt, sliding over his stomach and pressing to hold him close.

Steve hums, nuzzling into his neck.

“‘S nice,” he murmurs.

“What’s nice?”

“This.”

“You want me to be your little house-husband, sweetheart?”

“Hm. I wouldn’t mind.”

Eddie laughs softly, tilting his head as Steve kisses the side of his neck.

“I’m gonna go. Meet Tommy before school starts.”

“Lemme wrap this up for you,” Eddie says, and Steve doesn’t detach from him as as he carefully rips some tin foil from the roll as quietly as he can. Steve’s fingers brush over Eddie’s skin as he wraps it, almost tickling.

“Is it weird that I like listening to Wayne snore?” Steve asks, watching over his shoulder. Eddie grins.

“Nah, I like it too.” His tongue pokes out for a moment as he focuses, trying not to like the foil rip. “Used to sleep with him when I moved in ‘cause I couldn’t be by myself,” he says. “Used to listen to him snore when I couldn’t sleep. It helped.”

“‘S really sweet,” Steve says quietly. Eddie smiles, finally finishing, and he holds the sandwich up. Steve reaches to take it, tilting his head to press a kiss to Eddie’s cheek. “Love you.”

“Love you too, hon—“

He cuts off when he turns to look at him, his eyes lowering go look over Steve.

He’s wearing that one sweatshirt from Eddie’s closet, the black, bleach-stained one. Eddie can see the collar of his polo under the neckline of it, and his cheeks flush.

“…Ney,” he finishes. Steve smiles. “You’re gonna wear it to school?”

“Yeah,” Steve says, looking down at it, smoothing down the front. “Why not?”

“I…” Eddie gazes at him, shrugging weakly and shaking his head. He’s right, Eddie thinks. There’s nothing on the sweatshirt that would point to Eddie. No metal band name across the chest, no chains or leather. “Because I’m not gonna wanna keep my hands off you.”

Steve beams, stepping forward and touching his chin.

“Practice self-restraint,” he says lightly, leaning in and kissing him gently. “And it’ll be worth it.”

Eddie’s cheeks light up.

“Oh, is that so?” he whispers. Steve hums, tracing his jaw.

“I’ll let you take it off of me,” he murmurs, smiling when Eddie’s eyes widen and he inhales slowly.

“Okay,” Eddie says weakly before he leans in and kisses him hard, reaching to hold his face. He can feel Steve’s smile against his mouth, and after a second, Steve’s fingers push into his hair and tug gently. “Okay,” Eddie breathes when they part.

“I’ll see you later,” Steve says, smiling, tilting his head. Eddie blushes again (he has a serious problem), and he avoids Steve’s eyes, reaching to fix his collar so it’s over the neckline of the sweatshirt, neat and preppy and cuter than it should be.

“See you later,” he murmurs.

Steve kisses his forehead.

“Love you,” he says, stepping back, and their hands drop. He grabs his bag from the laundry machine where he’d placed it. “Don’t forget your homework for Murphy.”

“Fuck, thank you,” Eddie says, quickly moving to find it on the table. “Love you too, baby.”

Steve is smiling when he leaves.

Eddie’s stomach flips over every time his eyes catch Steve in the hallways, glimpsing his dark sweatshirt on Steve’s body, seeing everyone see it without knowing it came from Eddie’s closet. He wants to tug him into the bathroom in the main building, to push him into a stall and kiss him so hard they both go blind for a second.

He refrains.

He finds a little sketch in his locker later, a pencil drawing on a ripped piece of lined paper. The pencil is dark and smudged, in the shape of a sweatshirt that’s rumpled and folded. Red pen marks where the sweatshirt is bleach-strained.

At the bottom of the page is written,

(got something to tell you)

Curiosity almost overcomes him, and he has to hold back from marching over and dragging Steve by the hand into the bathroom to interrogate him. Their eyes meet across the cafeteria during lunch, and Eddie raises his eyebrows at him.

But Steve just smiles and looks back at him, only blinking when he recoils when Tommy’s hand runs across his face suddenly, and Eddie laughs.

Steve’s collar is messed up again, under the collar of the sweatshirt. Eddie wonders why until he watches Steve lifts the sweatshirt up over his mouth and nose, watches his shoulders rise and fall as he breathes deeply, and he remembers watching Steve smell the sweatshirt the first time he pulled it from Eddie’s closet. Eddie looks away, rubbing his cheek and suppressing a smile.

Steve comes over after school. (Eddie kind of wishes they could do this every day. He really wishes they could do this every day.)

“What do you have to tell me?” Eddie asks as soon as he walks in, and Steve laughs softly, dropping his bag and following him to the sofa. He collapses onto Eddie’s lap when Eddie sits, holding his shoulders and grinning. Eddie’s hands catch his waist gently.

“‘S kinda weird,” he says softly, settling on Eddie’s legs before he reaches to Eddie’s hair, combing through it and pushing it back, tucking it behind his ears. Eddie’s cheeks feel warm, and he tilts his chin up at him.

“Tell me.”

Steve kind of slumps, looking at Eddie’s guitar pick as he plays with the ends of his hair shyly.

“I felt really pretty today,” he says in a small voice, quietly. Eddie’s eyebrows raise, and his hands slide over Steve’s waist, and his chest tightens.

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm.”

“‘Cause of this?” Eddie asks, running a hand over Steve’s chest, touching the sweatshirt.

“Mhmm.”

“Think you gotta keep it.”

“I would,” Steve says, almost murmuring, leaning down and nudging their noses together. “But I need it to smell like you.”

“Well then you gotta move in,” Eddie says softly, and Steve giggles, kissing him. Eddie kisses him back, reaching up the back of his head, holding him carefully, tenderly.

He feels Steve relax against him as they kiss lazily, sighing when Eddie sucks on his lip. Eddie sighs in turn when Steve’s fingers bury themselves in Eddie’s hair.

Eddie’s hands creep slowly to the hem of the sweatshirt, but Steve pulls away, smiling. Eddie gasps, breathless, and opens his eyes to gaze up at him.

Steve nudges their noses together again.

“We have homework,” he whispers.

Eddie groans, shoving his face into Steve’s chest. Steve laughs, kissing his head before he gets up. Eddie watches him cross the room to get their backpacks, and he catches his when Steve throws it to him.

“We can make out when we’re done.”

Eddie sighs as Steve joins him on the sofa again.

“Curse my more responsible better half.”

Steve hums, grinning.

Steve doesn’t even bat an eye when Eddie gets up to pace while he works, just moving his legs out of the way so Eddie doesn’t trip. At some point Eddie can feel him watching him, but he doesn’t stop working.

Eddie only looks up when Steve takes his shirt off under the sweatshirt, pausing with his pen between his teeth to watch the hem of it ride up his stomach before Steve fixes it with a sigh, setting his polo aside. Steve must feel Eddie watching, because he looks up and meets his eyes.

“Focus,” he says firmly, a smile teasing his lips, and Eddie looks back at his worksheet, wide-eyed and teasing. Steve giggles quietly.

Steve finishes before Eddie does, but he doesn’t try to prompt him to make him work faster. He just lays his head on Eddie’s lap when he finally sits down heavily and looks up at the ceiling quietly. Eddie tangles his fingers in Steve’s hair right away, playing with it while he thinks, while he bites his lip and kicks his feet and listens to Steve breathe.

When he finally finishes, he sighs heavily and pushes his notebooks off his lap to the floor.

“Are you done or did you just throw everything?” Steve asks.

“‘M done. My brain’s fried. In a not good way.”

Steve snorts and looks up at him, tilting his head back. Eddie gazes back at him and moves his hand to caress his cheek. His skin is so soft.

Steve’s smile softens after a moment.

“What is it?” Eddie asks. Steve’s mouth twists for a second before he speaks.

“Do you… know what you’re going to do after you graduate?”

Eddie’s smile falls and he looks away, swallowing, suddenly nervous.

“I, uhm.” He’s still touching Steve’s face, so he moves his hand to his chest, resting over his heart. “No.”

Steve blinks at him.

Eddie’s never going to get over those eyes. It’s like they can see right into him.

“I don’t…” Eddie starts again, the thin wall he’s just built up falling away easily under Steve’s gaze. “I don’t even think I’m gonna graduate this year.”

Steve blinks again.

“Why?” he asks softly.

“Grades are shit,” Eddie says with a light shrug. “My brain doesn’t work like it’s supposed to, so…”

Steve frowns. It’s cute.

“What are you gonna do?”

Eddie shrugs again.

“Try again next year, I guess,” he says.

Steve half-smiles.

“We can graduate together,” he says lightly. Eddie’s heart swells a little bit. He hadn’t considered that.

“Wayne would like that,” he says softly. Steve’s smile widens, and his eyes close. “What are you gonna do after graduation?” Eddie asks after a moment, rubbing over Steve’s chest. Steve hums, opening his eyes and looking up to the ceiling.

“Dad wants me to study business,” he says softly. He lifts a hand to hold Eddie’s himself. “To follow in his footsteps.”

“Is that what you want?”

“…I don’t even actually know what he does,” Steve says, twining their fingers. “So no.”

“What do you wanna do?”

“I dunno,” he sighs. “Kinda just wanna get out of here, then figure everything out.”

“Outta Hawkins?”

“Mhmm.”

“You don’t like it here?”

Steve sighs again.

“Not really. I mean, I… I like you. And Tommy, and— And Gareth and Wayne.” Eddie squeezes his hand and smiles. “But Hawkins… It’s so…” He shakes his head. “Small. I guess. I think— I think Hawkins is what made me… Whatever I am.”

Eddie reaches with his other hand to brush his hair away from his forehead, and he leans down to kiss him.

“Where would you wanna go?” he asks quietly.

Steve hums softly, thoughtfully. Eddie gazes at him while he thinks, watching his eyelashes flutter with every blink, watching his nibble his lower lip until it’s shiny and pink.

“Maybe San Francisco,” Steve says finally, looking up at him with a smile.

“Why San Francisco?”

“Heard it’s really queer,” Steve says, his eyes shining. “Maybe I can hold your hand on the sidewalks.”

Eddie blinks in vague surprise.

“…You want me there?”

Steve blinks back, his fingers shifting on Eddie’s hand.

“Of course I want you there,” he says after a moment. When Eddie remains speechless, Steve moves his head so he’s laying across his lap instead on part of his thigh. “Eddie, I’m in love with you,” he says softly. “I want you there for everything.”

Eddie’s throat tightens and he swallows, looking away and blinking his suddenly stinging eyes.

“Okay,” he says weakly.

Steve is smiling brightly up at him, his hair fallen around his head messily.

“You wanna come with me?” he asks, and Eddie scoffs wetly, sniffling.

“Yeah,” he says. “Obviously. I’d follow you through hell and back, Stevie.”

Steve’s smile somehow brightens even more.

“We can take your van,” he says. “Just… pack our shit and go. Run away together.”

“Bring all your art,” Eddie tells him, brushing through his hair and ignoring the way the words Run away together make his heart pound. “Bet people in Cali will love it.”

“You think?”

“I know.”

“Okay,” Steve says shyly. He looks away, at Eddie’s hand on his chest. Eddie gazes down at him, at their fingers twisted together.

“God, I wanna marry you,” he blurts.

Steve giggles, pulling at Eddie’s hand to kiss his palm.

“You think they’ll let us do that someday?” he asks after a moment, tracing the lines of his palm.

“Yeah,” Eddie says firmly after a moment. “I think they’ll let us do that someday.”

Steve is smiling at him, and he sits up, dropping Eddie’s hand and moving to hug him. His arms wrap around his neck and Eddie smiles, gripping his thighs and pulling so Steve sits on his lap, straddling his hips. (This is where Steve belongs, right on Eddie’s lap, in his arms.)

“Love you,” Steve murmurs, pressing a kiss to Eddie’s he before he pulls away.

Eddie smiles, leaning to nudge their noses together, closing his eyes and breathing Steve in. He can basically feel the heat radiating from him, like he’s got the sun sitting on his lap.

Steve kisses him carefully, lingering and slow, and Eddie exhales, melting. He wraps his arms around Steve’s waist tightly, tilting his head back as Steve holds his head in his hands, his fingers pushing into Eddie’s curls.

Steve looks almost sleepy when they part, and he brushes his fingers over Eddie’s cheeks lightly, tickling him. Eddie’s hands crawl over his waist to the hem of the sweatshirt again, and he tugs at it gently.

“Can I take this off?” he whispers.

“Yes, please,” Steve breathes.

Eddie smiles and shifts to the edge of the sofa, gripping Steve’s legs and standing up. Steve’s legs wrap around him, his ankles locking behind his back, and he giggles, hugging Eddie’s neck again. Eddie kicks his door shut when he gets to his room and sits on the edge of his bed, hugging Steve back, nuzzling into his neck for a moment before he pulls away and reaches for the hem of his sweatshirt again.

Steve’s eyes are closed as he leans back and lifts his arms, letting Eddie pull it over his head. Eddie leans in as he tosses it behind himself to the bed, burying his face in Steve’s chest and sighing.

Steve’s fingers find Eddie’s hair again, playing with it as Eddie presses his lips just over where Steve’s heart is beating beneath his warm skin. Eddie presses his fingers into Steve’s hips, into his waist and belly and chest, kneading and pulling and groping and loving every inch of him.

Steve falls forward so he can press his face into Eddie’s neck.

“Alright?” Eddie whispers, because it feels wrong to speak in a voice anywhere above a breath right now. Steve nods.

“Feels good,” he breathes.

So Eddie doesn’t stop.

Steve’s lips find Eddie’s neck as Eddie touches him, and Eddie’s eyes flutter shut as Steve kisses him softly. The kisses are soft, slow and wet and gentle, and Eddie can practically hear their hearts beating in tandem.

“Can I give you a hickey?” Steve murmurs.

“Mhmm.”

“Thank you.”

Eddie laughs softly, dragging his fingertips over Steve’s spine.

Gareth won’t stop making fun of the hickey the next morning, poking at it and asking if he got too cozy with the vacuum.

“You’re the worst.”

“I’m pretty hilarious, actually. People with functioning brains know that.

“I’m gonna go hang out with Steve and Tomm— Oh, shit, Tommy.”

Eddie jumps up and grabs his backpack, sprinting across the parking lot to where the two of them are sitting on the hood of Steve’s car, leaving Gareth behind.

He sits abruptly next to Tommy, grinning broadly and hugging his backpack to his chest. Tommy blinks, cutting off mid-sentence, and the boy he’s talking to stares at Eddie, wide-eyed.

“Good morning?” Tommy says, looking at him. Steve is suppressing a smile, looking around him at Eddie.

“Hello,” Eddie says, staring at him intently. “Will you help me with my stats homework?”

A short laugh bursts from Tommy’s chest.

“Yeah, sure, man.”

“God bless your heart.”

Tommy tells the boy he’ll see him later, and the boy gives him a look with a slow, “…Okay…”

“Where’s Gareth?” Steve asks as Eddie is finding the homework.

“Oh, I ditched him,” Eddie realises, turning to tell his name loudly, and Tommy cackles with a, “Holy shit,” and Steve covers his face, laughing.

Gareth joins them a minute later, leaning next to Steve as Tommy helps Eddie through his homework. He makes it so much easier than Murphy does, and Eddie finishes before the bell even rings.

“Tommy, I might be a little in love with you.”

Tommy gives a startled laugh as Steve cuts off the conversation he’s having with Gareth to make an offended noise.

“You’re still top of my list, honey,” Eddie reassured him, leaning back to look around Tommy at him, blowing him a little kiss.

“What a relief,” Steve says dryly. His eyes are sparkling.

The rest of the week goes by fairly quickly. The four of them hang out at Gareth's one day, then in the parking lot of the school the next, sitting in Eddie's van with their legs tangled. Gareth and Tommy pretend to gag every time Eddie kisses Steve's lips.

Steve spends Friday night at Eddie's. On Saturday, Eddie wakes up to find Steve and Wayne having coffee and watching a baseball game on the television, talking and laughing, and Eddie thinks for a moment that he's going to die.

Steve's parents leave on Sunday. Eddie finds out because Steve appears at his door on Sunday evening, in tears, trembling.

"What happened?" he asks quickly, pulling Steve inside. Wayne is out, but Eddie kind of wishes he was here.

"They left," Steve says weakly.

"Did they-- Did they do anything?" Eddie asks, his eyes scanning over Steve's face and hands, searching for any evidence of a fight.

"No, they just..."

"Breathe, honey," Eddie says gently, and Steve closes his eyes, inhaling deeply, slowly, shakily.

"They didn't say goodbye," he says finally, opening his eyes and looking at Eddie desperately. "They just-- They didn't even leave a note, they usually-- They usually leave a note."

“Steve, baby,”  Eddie tries, not moving to touch him because he’s pacing, his hands moving frantically. “Isn’t it a good thing that they’ve gone?” “Yes, but…” He sighs, rubbing his face. “They didn’t even tell me where they were going. They always tell me where they’re going. And they said they were leaving tomorrow, but they just– they were just gone when I got back from Tommy’s, it’s– it’s like I don’t even exist to them,” he says, almost crying. 

“Fuck them,” Eddie snaps, letting his anger at them bubble over. “They don’t— They don’t love you, Stevie,” he says, softening his voice as Steve frowns and blinks hard. 

“I know,” he says weakly. “They don’t love me.” 

Eddie’s chest hurts. He wants to reach out and hold him, but something tells him Steve doesn’t want that right now. Doesn’t need that. His heart is beating fast, recovering from the sudden adrenaline, the sudden panic from looking for bruises or scrapes or discolouration on Steve’s skin, but as it fades, Steve says, under his breath, almost to himself, almost mindless, like he doesn’t even notice himself saying it, “Nobody loves me.” 

“What?” Eddie says, his blood suddenly cold. Steve’s eyes snap up to Eddie’s, and they’re shining in a way that Eddie’s never seen. Vulnerable and weak and almost scared. “Steve,” Eddie says softly. “What do you mean by that?”

Steve takes a shaky breath, shaking his head and shrugging weakly, so subtly he almost barely does it all. 

“My parents…” he starts, his voice wavering. “My parents don’t love me.” His expression hardens a little bit. “And— And people at school don’t love me.” 

“Steve, what the fuck are you talking about?” Eddie asks as gently as he can. “People at school adore you.” 

“No, they don’t,” Steve insists. “They love– They love the king,” he says, gesturing aimlessly with a hand, pacing again. “And I– I never wanted to be him, I’ve fucking– pretended to be him for years, but I’m not him. They don’t love me,” he says. “They love who they think I am.” He stops, looking at Eddie, blinking tears back. Eddie’s chest hurts. “They don’t know me.” 

“I know you,” Eddie says softly. “Don’t I?” 

“Yes,” Steve breathes. “You know… You know all of me.” 

“And I love you,” Eddie tells him. “...You believe that, right?” 

Steve just blinks at him, his lip quivering, and Eddie’s blood runs cold again. It feels like all the air expels from his lungs. 

“...Steve?” he whispers weakly. 

“I…” Steve blinks again, and a tear falls. He takes a sharp breath, looking at the ground the way he does sometimes when he’s thinking as he talks. “I have gone… my whole life,” he chokes. “Without… Without being told I’m loved. And without– without feeling like I’m loved. And then suddenly the fucking– the fucking boy of my dreams is in love with me too, and it’s just… It’s just kind of unbelievable sometimes.” He looks up at Eddie, his eyes glistening with tears. “I do believe you. I want to believe you.”

“Baby,” Eddie breathes. 

“It’s just—” He wipes his face so hard it makes his cheeks red. “I’ve spent years pretending to be someone I’m not, and everyone at school loves a– a lie. They don’t know me, and— and my parents don’t know me at all, and I don’t know me, but you say you love me, and I don’t— I don’t know who you love, Eddie.” 

He’s crying now, actually crying. Trying to wipe his tears away as they fall, sniffling and gasping, and Eddie’s vision is swimming with his own tears. 

“Steve,” he says as firmly as he can. He steps closer when Steve looks up at him, distraught, and he finally touches him, wiping his tears. “I…”

“‘M sorry,” Steve says weakly.  

“Don’t,” Eddie tells him, kissing his forehead and wiping his cheeks. He’s quiet for a moment, just holding him, his stomach twisting when Steve’s hands clutch at his sides, gripping his shirt. He can feel them trembling against him. He tries to think about how to say what’s swirling in his mind, how to phrase it. Sometimes the things he feels get stuck in his chest, tangled like thread. “Your parents are pieces of shit,” he settles on, moving back and holding Steve’s face to look into his eyes. “They made you feel unloveable, but you are fucking anything but unloveable, Steve Harrington.” 

Steve closes his eyes, listening, and a tear slips down his cheek, dripping to Eddie’s fingers. 

“And I…” Eddie pauses, looking at Steve, scanning his face, looking at the moles that spot his skin in a pattern that Eddie has memorized, a pattern that Eddie sees at night when he closes his eyes. “I see you,” he tells him. “I know you. And I love you,” Eddie says firmly. “Even if you think it’s… fantastical, or– or impossible.” He pauses, choking up a little bit, swallowing. He leans in to press their foreheads together, and Steve’s hands tighten. “And it is so, so easy to love you.”

Steve’s breath catches in his throat. 

“‘S my favourite thing to do,” Eddie murmurs, smiling softly. 

“How can you love me if I don’t even know who I am?” Steve asks quietly, finally opening his eyes. He looks like a fucking painting, his lashes all wet and dark, framing his shining eyes, his cheeks flushed red. Eddie aches.

 “You know I started falling for you before we even started talking?” 

Steve blinks. 

“I just… I just knew who you were on the inside,” Eddie explains softly. “And then we started talking and you… proved me right. That you’re kind and sweet and fucking…” He pauses to swallow, shaking his head, pressing a hand to Steve’s chest. “So fucking beautiful in here.”

Steve presses a hand over Eddie’s holding it to himself and taking a shuddering breath. 

“Why do I feel so…” 

He exhales heavily. Eddie feels his breath on his face. 

“So?”

“I don’t know.” Steve takes a deep breath, his shoulders falling. He stares blankly at Eddie’s guitar pick. “Tired. I feel like…” He’s quiet for a moment. “I have been… pretending to be someone I hate for years. It feels like… Like I’ve been, like, flexing all my muscles at once this whole time, and I finally got to relax around you, but I… This fucking place, just—” 

He cuts off and shakes his head before he exhales, and Eddie brushes his fingers over Steve’s jaw gently, tenderly, wishing he could do anything to lessen the anguish in Steve’s eyes. 

"I just…" Steve exhales, his shoulders slumping, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment like he's been awake for days. "Kinda just… wanna get drunk 'nd go to sleep."

"No," Eddie says sharply, shaking his head, moving closer to run his hands over Steve's upper arms firmly. "No, you're not gonna do that."

Steve looks at him, and Eddie knows he knows.

"Talk to me, Stevie," he says, softening his voice. Steve sighs, closing his eyes for another moment, reaching to hold onto Eddie's shirt again.

“I’ve been holding myself up for so long," he says quietly. "Pretending and lying and acting like— like this perfect son, this perfect student, perfect friend, perfect asshole, and there’s this… this thing inside of me that’s been waiting, and waiting, and like… building up, and it’s gonna explode, and I just— I don’t know what to do.” 

He looks into Eddie’s eyes almost anxiously, nervously, and Eddie nods, brushing his thumb over his cheek reassuringly, but Steve doesn’t say anything else. 

“Steve,” Eddie says softly. Steve blinks at him. “I’m… going to ask you something,” he says slowly, carefully. “And I want you to really think about it before you answer me.” 

Steve’s lips twitch into a small smile, his expression lightening already. 

“Okay,” he whispers. 

Eddie pauses, holding his face, and he bites his lip, hesitating until he finally speaks. 

“Do you wanna act out?” 

Steve blinks at him, his expression unchanging, but Eddie can see the gears turning behind his eyes. 

“...Yes.”

Eddie grins.

part 20 read the whole thing on ao3 tagging: @suddenlyinlove (love ur URL btw) @thehumblefigtree <3 comment to be tagged in part 20 :)

[byanyan]

byan being extremely defensive of their substance abuse habits. byan being so very familiar with being looked down upon for drinking & doing drugs that they're terrified of those they've let close thinking less of them for for it. they've been kicked out of homes for it. they've been suspended & expelled from schools over it. they've had nasty things said and done to them because of it. it's only natural that they anticipate the worst from even those most important to them, so they tend to take steps to hide it where, around anyone else, they might instead broadcast it.

byan, upon being found out by someone close to them, getting either aggressively defensive or becoming a sobbing, apologizing mess.

[twicecut]

man. rewatching s3 scenes to get re-acquainted with diego and. the red flags. every single flag is red. i think lila is trying, and i understand her, i do, but the framing of each of their serious talks makes me want to yell.

[alex-in-the-aether]

<>

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

this brain really is just nonstop goin between the way he'd kiss me, cradling my face in his hands n it's sloppy n messy cause that's how he likes things but it's so damn easy to just forget it doesn't mean a fucking thing

& addict trash like you never changes, I'll see you soon baby

[secretlovezz]

Whiplash

Eddie Munson x Fem!reader

Summary: you've been avoiding Eddie like the plague and he's desperate to figure out what he's done to deserve it.

Warnings: hurt/comfort?? idk, kissing, fluffy ending, pining, idiots in love, use of y/n, she/her pronouns used for reader, reader is a crybaby ig idk she reacted how I would soooo, lmk if i missed anything!

Wordcount: 2010

A/N: Not really proofread and kind of written in a rush cause I wasn't feeling it about halfway through so sorry if you can tell 😞

You weren't there... again.

Your absence from your usual seat to the left of Eddie leaves him in a deep state of confusion his eyebrows furrowing in thought. This was the fifth day without your presence at his side, almost an entire week without your voice giddily telling him about the book you were reading or a new recipe you've tried, almost an entire week of being deprived of that perfect little gleam in your eyes when you looked at him rambling about something you enjoyed, and his heart ached in deprivation.

And because of this, he could with full confidence say you were avoiding him- but as to why he had no idea.

Eddie's silent at the lunch table staring at nothing in particular, and though the guys -especially the freshman- had finally learned to normalize Eddie's peculiar-ness and oddities this new silence and bleak aura had them surprised. He was stuck in his head racking through everything that's happened in the last week that could have possibly scared you away from him.

He thinks about the time he asked you for help with his math homework, but that couldn't be it considering that definitely was not the first time he'd asked and definitely was not the first time you'd happily agreed to do so. He reminisces about when he'd come to visit you during your shift at the local library in boredom playfully bothering you as you re-placed books onto the shelf.

He thinks and thinks and thinks but nothing comes to mind for your sudden evasion.

"Dude, you think any harder and steam will come out of your ears," Gareth rolls his eyes at Eddie, "What the hell's wrong with you anyway?"

Eddie leans back in his chair and dramatically throws his head back to look at the ceiling, his hair flows behind him and moves as people walk by, "She's avoiding me."

Dustin's head snaps up, still chewing his food he inserts himself into the conversation, "Who? Y/N? I just talked to her last period, she seemed fine," He shrugged.

At that Eddies head pops back up, eyes locking with Dustin's in a way that leaves the younger boy cringing, and the crease between his brows intensifies, "So she's still talking to you guys but not me?" He starts to pout a little by the end of his question.

Everyone sends looks to each other before slowly nodding and Eddie's forehead loudly makes contact with the cafeteria table, the guys wince in response.

"Well... have you tried- I don't know, asking her about it?"

The glare sent in Mikes direction after his question almost makes him apologize. Eddie heatedly scratches his head and groans in irritation; he'd tried more than a handful of times to get ahold of you, tried more than enough times to just hear your voice again but nothing worked. When he waited by your locker you would walk the other way, when he called you, you hung up as soon as you heard his voice, and worst of all you would throw out the little notes he sent you in class as you walked out and away from him once again.

"Duh! Of course I have," Eddies reply is laced with annoyance and frustration, "But I can't ask her anything if she keeps running away- I mean come on! She won't even look at me, man." His voice is soft and emotional when speaking his last sentence, He runs his hand over his face weakly and suddenly he feels like he's being pitied. He doesn't want that.

He hastily moves to pick up his things, thrusting the items into his little lunch box with more force than necessary with a pout on his tired face before standing from his seat and angrily walking away across the cafeteria, from the table and the others. They all sigh when he makes it past the cafeteria doors and after a silent moment Jeff is the first who speaks up, "So- When do you guys think they'll get over themselves and finally get together?"

《----------♡

When the last bell rings after what feels like years to Eddie he's swiftly making his way out of class and out of the building, but now what time would usually be spent merrily walking to his car and making plans to see you during the weekend was spent instead making his way into the woods strolling past trees and going to the little picnic table placed in that clearing he visits every once in awhile.

He stares at the ground and his feet as he treads, kicking rocks, stones, and branches on the way.

Eddies just about there just a few trees away from the clearing before he hears footsteps other than his own a little ways ahead of him he pauses head finally lifting to look in front of him and waits to see who appears.

To his surprise you pop into his vision and his round, brown eyes widen. He goes to take a step forward his body automatically and urgently trying to get to you, desperately needing to be near the drug that is you, but he stops himself to observe.

You sit at the table and pull a book out from the satchel bag at your side and a humorous huff leaves through his nose, his face relaxing and lips curling up at the sight of you doing something you often enthusiastically spoke to him about before realizing that its a book he does not recognize, that you had started a new one, and you hadn't told him like you usually would have. The thought wipes the smile from his face in an instant and his brows furrow for the nth time that day.

He steps forward and does not stop himself this time, sauntering toward you almost as angrily has he had left the cafeteria without your knowledge as you are already too engrossed in whatever new story you were traveling into. When he sits across from you at the table you feel it shift with the added weight and at last realize that you are no longer alone.

When you eventually look up, placing your thumb in-between the pages you were reading to keep your place, your heart drops at the sight of the frustrated man in front of you. You try to move away but he quickly grabs your wrist urging you to sit back down, you look at him again and the anguish written on his face makes you find your seat.

Your gaze moves to your lap and Eddie doesn't let you go too afraid you run away again.

Eddie is the one to break the stifling silence, "Talk to me... please?" The sound of his voice makes your heart ache so guiltily it hurts, "Just- Just tell what I did wrong- tell me so I can fix it."

Though your mouth opens to respond nothing comes out and your eyes gloss over with salty tears. Eddie's hold on your wrist moves to your hand gently cupping it in his calloused palm while his thumb moves to continuously swipe over your warm skin.

Your cheeks warm at the intimate contact and it only makes your eyes well with my tears reminding you of why you were ignoring him in the first place.

"When you-," You struggle to get the words out of your closing throat but Eddie still listens patiently, "Last time... you- you did something. It wasn't a big deal to you- but um... to me it- it meant a lot and that's kind of the problem."

The brunette across from you leans in closer and tilts his head in confusion, "What did I do?"

You glance to the side in embarrassment but Eddie's thumb taps you twice to bring your attention back to the conversation, "Talk to me Princess; Tell me what I did so we can go back to normal, I miss my best friend."

You didn't want to go back to normal.

For the first time in days your eyes connect with Eddie's and you take in a shaky breath at the sight of his enchanting eyes. "You uh- you kissed me..."

Now he's confused. He had kissed you? When? He's sure he would remember finally getting to kiss you.

Your free hand travels to your cheek and it all clicks for him, the pieces falling into place. He can't help but let out a chuckle of amusement; you were right- he had kissed you, kissed you on your cheek, that is, a sweet little peck against your skin. His laughter dies out when you rip your hand from his, the tears in your eyes spilling over.

Eddie stands and rounds the table to you, "Hey hey I- I'm I shouldn't have laughed. Don't cry, sweetheart." His hands place themselves on your elbows as your hands move to cover your face. He starts to feel like that little kiss really did more than he had thought.

"Did it make you uncomfortable? I won't do it again I promise," You shake your head at his words, "Talk to me, baby."

"Don't do that! Don't call me those names if you don't mean it," Eddies eyes go wide at your outburst and his mouth opens to speak but you beat him to it, "you- you kiss me and call me those names and I- It's just too much... I like you too much."

All too quickly Eddie is forcefully removing your hands from your face and cupping your cheeks thumbing the tears from your skin, "I like you too much too."

"Don't be mean Eddie."

He connects his forehand to yours, both of your eyes closing at the closeness, "M'not, would never joke about that." His soft pink lips brush gently against yours as he speaks and your breath hitches. Your lips part slightly and your cold breath fans Eddie's face. "How can I show you I mean it hm? How 'bout... a real kiss?" He mutters. You nod all too briskly for someone who was just crying and it makes Eddie smile.

In the fullness of time Eddie presses his lips to yours and when he finally gets the taste of your lips on his he realizes he's waited entirely too long to do this despite being willing to wait an eternity for you. He's been starving for the absolute goddess that is you, now getting to satisfy that hunger digging in with no resistance and sliding his tongue past your lips flushed against him. The ache he had felt without you there fading once and for all as you kissed him back. Your hands atop his squeeze as a noise escapes the back of your throat and Eddie kisses you deeper at your audible reaction. He wants to consume you, wants to keep you so close you never leave his side, he needs it- needs you and makes sure it shows in the way he kisses you.

When he pulls away your both panting for air, Eddie's grin is smug on the top of your head and your arms are wrapped around him.

"I can't believe you made me feel like shit for an entire week just cause I gave you a lil' kiss on the cheek," Eddie mocked trying to get a quick quip in.

"Shut up! It totally freaked me out."

His loud cackle echoed in your ears and you smiled, pulling him closer and pressing your nose into his skin. Eddie's arms moved to wrap around you as well and his large hands snake around you also trying to squeeze you impossibly closer. He presses a fast peck on your cheek, then your temple, and then the top of your head. Eddie takes a deep breath inhaling the scent of you- memorizing it.

"Promise you won't do that to me again. Don't leave me alone like that again."

"I won't Eds, I promise."

"Besides! What are you going to do without me here being oh so entertaining huh?"

You laugh, "I have no idea."

[nahim]

nahim studied the sith carefully as he playfully questioned what the councilman knew all-too-well to be the very likely truth, all amusement momentarily draining from his expression as his gaze remained unblinking. “you should hope,” he answered bluntly, holding the stare for a moment longer before he allowed the intensity to break and the usual impish light returned to his eyes mere seconds later, soon shifting back to a vaguely more personable persona. “keep your wits about you, gwyn. don’t think that playing the endearing fool will always alleviate you from consequence.” he remained perfectly still as the sith leaned closer until his brow furrowed at the younger man's accidental stumbling into rocky conversational territory. “oh– no, no, no, gwyn–” reaching up to firmly grasp the sith’s jaw, nahim lightly dug the tips of his claws into the flesh below. “i’m very aware i don’t have to do a thing around you. it seems your sire has allowed you to rise above your station far too often if you feel comfortable uttering such absurdities.” loosening his hold, nahim gently traced gwyn’s jawline with the tip of a claw, his head cocking again as his eyes followed the movement. when he spoke again, there was a tranquil edge to his tone, his gaze lifting to meet the sith’s once more. “it would be in your best interest to remember your place, fledgling. regardless of your siring, you’re no less breakable than anything else dwelling in the undercroft.”

surprisingly, gwyn had kept his thoughts to himself as the other side of the story was half shared and nahim was pleased to be done with the topic, seconds from averting his gaze to check exactly how much longer this confined space would be featuring in their evening before the sith decided that, apparently, there was a need to delve deeper. stealing a momentary glance out of gwyn’s window to gauge how much could be said in the short time that remained before things could finally get interesting. recentering his attention on the other, nahim made a quiet noise of contemplation as he considered the younger’s line of questioning, moving to settle his hands in his lap as he toyed with the hem of his coat. “kulhadd tad-demm u l-laham, ħanini,” catching gwyn’s glance towards their driver, nahim chuckled softly, shaking his head. “it’s all right. we can elaborate later. for now though, the short and simple answer is that it’s a byproduct of age, arrogance and unchecked ego, but i doubt such insight comes as any kind of surprise.” 

sparing another glance out gwyn’s window just as the car slowed to a halt, nahim clasped his hands together with a grin, his entire demeanour brightening as he thrust his door open and stretched his arms above his head with a sigh, leaving the car and gwyn behind as he wandered closer to euphoria’s entrance, pausing a few steps from it to admire the club’s exterior. just as expected, raphael had done a wonderful job with this particular passion project; he’d have to extend his praises the next time he caught de luca in passing. nahim cast a curious glance over his shoulder towards the car to finally check on his plus one for the night. “you’re not having second thoughts, are you? we haven’t even begun to enjoy ourselves yet, gwyn. come along.”

"laws?" gwyn's brows shot up as a surprised grin broke across the younger's face, taking a long drag off his cigarette and exhaling a crooked stream of smoke from the corner of his mouth, not moving his eyes from nahim's face as the councilman made a fascinating insinuation with a simple nod of his head, "what kind of dissident do you take me for, councilman? nay, not a single criticism i might make would take things that far, i should hope." well, short of his opinioin that dissolving the council entire would probably be a net good for the world, in the end. did nahim really have something to say interesting enough to warrant total privacy? or did he just want to invite such talk from gwyn for his own interest? either option was compelling. gwyn's eyes crinkled at the corners with amusement as nahim continued, though he made his voice solemn as a vow as he spoke, leaning in conspiratorially, "you don't 'have' to do a thing around me, mr. ravani -- fussing or otherwise. i won't tell. wouldn't tonight be even better if we both felt free to speak as we pleased?"

the sith's leading question was made all the funnier (and more critical, in gwyn's eyes) as nahim's back seemed to magically straighten even further and the younger gave up on mimicking him, leaning instead against the window to finally hear the other side of events concerning roland's misadventures with the council. nahim was so... finicky with his words, formal and yet petty all at once, not bothering to hide his disdain. gwyn, of course, knew roland's accounting of things, which had all but accused the other council members of conducting a witch hunt. most likely, there was some truth to both, but even if roland had broken some rule, gwyn struggled to see what was so terribly critical about enforcing it. but maybe the whole situation was only minimally about rules to begin with...

he took a moment's consideration, nakedly observing nahim's expression as the elder finished and another small smile quirked at gwyn's lips. "how well do you know each other, i wonder? i ask not for the sake of speaking on this... contemporary issue," he gave a lackadaisical wave of his hand, "just to clarify. but such a long time in these positions, surrounded by all the same faces... sometimes i feel as if all i hear of councilmen is their grudges. why do you think it happens that way?" gwyn cocked his head curiously, then flitted his eyes to the driver and back to nahim, recalling the other's earlier assertion, "or is that one of those questions i should... hold onto for now?" he sounded no less delighted at the prospect, even if gwyn had always done poorly at delaying his gratification.

[seagreenstardust]

Never in my wildest dreams did I think we’d end up here post-canon.

We had three seasons of Katsuki being various shades of angry and two where his cute aggression was in overdrive and any real feelings he had were buried beneath his guilt, inferiority, and rage.

So many bkdk fics from this era had them in a situationship of some kind largely because Katsuki Bakugo was the poster child for emotional constipation. The future of bkdk was often agreed to be this delicious angsty cocktail of yearning and we ate that up. Izuku and Katsuki loving each other but being unable to say it? The tension, the misunderstandings, the regency-esque moments of hands brushing? Bruh. Gorgeous.

And then season six happened and Katsuki apologized, calm, empathetic, validating, and boy did that open up doors for bkdk’s future, but that was followed by season seven where simp!Katsuki really found his sea legs, embraced his new normal and his all-encompassing obsession with Izuku and went LITERALLY RIDE OR DIE for him

Followed later by his return to the manga where everything he did screamed “I’d do anything, break my own bones, sacrifice my own life, my potential, my career, my money, all for him”. Boy came back from the dead and was all-in for Izuku and has never looked back.

We had tsundere!Katsuki down to an art and now we have simp!Katsuki too and whiplash has never in my life made me so happy. We get the best of both worlds. It has never been better to be a bkdk.

[willyoubemycherryy]

𝑰𝒎𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 (𝑭. 𝑻𝒊𝒈𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒂𝒓)

I’m still in love with him and he envelopes my every thought. I won’t apologize for it. Here’s my heart, it’s yours.

Contains: flirting, fleeting touches, denial of feelings, budding relationship, first meetings, mutual longing, sweet & fluffy, some sexual innuendos (this is written by me after all 0///<)

Basically a little background to how foresight reader and Fiyero met

⋆⁺₊❅.° *

⋆°. ⁺₊ ❅ . .

You were sad.

No- scratch that; you were more than just-run-of the-mill sad.

You are melancholy. Seemingly full of an almost listless longing.

That’s the first thing that came to Fiyero’s mind after finally seeing you, having caught his eye without those dark glasses of yours for the first time. That, and the fact that your face was quite fair in beauty. You had the type of beauty was best accompanied by snowfall, chilling and soft but also cozy and alluring. Large doe eyes and a constant frown on the loveliest heart-shaped he’s ever seen.

Why did you always seem so sad? Maybe he was overstepping, maybe you weren’t sad. He’d never spoken to you before thanks to your elusive nature so he probably just didn’t know you well enough to read your emotions. You were probably fine just naturally pouty, kitten-out-in-the-rain-faced.

Call it purely unbiased curiosity; his reason for going out of his way to speak to you.

Sticking with his usual method of approach, “Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes. Disappointingly enough, I don’t think we’ve ever truly met. I’m Fiyero Tigelaar o-“, you cut him off as you finish for him.

“Of Winkie Country. Charmed.” Well, that was unexpected. The unenthusiastic sarcasm dripping from that last word giving him whiplash.

“My apologies but have we met?” The way you spoke to him as though you’d crossed paths before had him doubting himself. Even if you had, he knows for certain he’d remember you. The sound of your lilting voice brings him out of his budding internal crisis.

“Not in any future you’d remember.” Hmm. Cryptic too. He waits for you to say more but you don’t. Interesting. Most are always eager to engage conversation with him but you clearly are a girl of few words.

“I see. Are you always this…riveting?” You tilt your head to the side, ignoring his strong gaze, humming as you pretend to think.

“Depends on if you’re always so persistent.”

“Ooh la la. So, always then?” Cute. He was cute. Very.

“Mhmm. Wonderful observation by the way. You’re quite bright aren’t you?” You ask with a condescending nod of your head, false awe in your raised eyebrows.

Oh. He liked this game.

“Why yes..and I’m surprised you noticed my brightness with those dark glasses you always wear.” And for the first time in the conversation, you were speechless. Prompting him to continue,

“Why do you always wear those anyway?” You sputter for a few seconds as you try to come up with an answer that’s a more shallow version of the truth.

“B-because I need them..”

“Need them for what?

“My face, obviously.” The snark makes him smile, finding your prissiness absolutely endearing.

“But there’s nothing wrong with your face, darling.”

You will your cheeks not to warm and darken because of the way such a petname sounded from the lips of such an attractive man but it seems to not work very well from the way Fiyero smirks at you.

“How would you know what’s wrong with my face?”

“Because I’m looking right at it”, and unbeknownst to you, the two of you had moved quite close during your game of cat and mouse. Your close proximity dawns on you when you feel his warm hand brush your hair away from your face. Peering at you even closer, “and it’s exquisite.”

He-! Oz, you hated attractive people.

You lower your head, finding his direct attention overwhelming but surprisingly, allowing his closeness.

“…not my face exactly- my eyes.”

Oh your eyes, yeah. He’d noticed them.

“Besides their beauty, what about them?” Pompous, flirtatious, irritating pain in your a-

“Will you stop flirting with me?! I have foresight damnit! The glasses help dull my visions, so they’re less intense.” Oh. No wonder you looked so sad. Foresight. It was extremely rare, gracing only few in hundreds of thousands of generations. That was a heavy gift too, seeing all kinds of futures whether you could do something about them or not. Well now that he had somewhat a reason for your melancholy, he wanted now to see your smile.

“Even lovelier. It suites you. Light but full of depth.” You’re stunned into silence again because he doesn’t run for the hills at you practically being a bad omen and that he thought your gift was lovely, well suited to you.

Bashfully, you release a small hum before speaking.

“Thank you-“

“So have you seen me in your future then? I’m sure you’re in mine.”

Your eyes widen in shock before creasing as a smile breaks over your face and you suddenly start laughing. Laughing as though you hadn’t just killed him with the tinkling warm sound coming from your pretty smile. You eventually quiet to giggles but those only added to the longing Fiyero felt for you as he too felt himself smiling.

You couldn’t help it, he was cute so you should have expected the cheesy future pickup line but for some reason; be it his easygoing charming demeanor or those big eyes; it caught you off guard.

“Wow, I’ve definitely never heard that one. You’re actually a good time Fiyero”.

Oz the way his named sounded from your lips. Clearing his throat to regain some of his composure and feign as though he wasn’t already completely taken by you; he smiled, “Glad to show you one, I do aim to please.” Enjoying the way your smile widened, shaking your head with a light smack to his chest when he shot you a wink.

As he leaned more into your space, you made no room to move and neither did he. You were melancholy, yes…but you were plenty of something else too. He liked it more by the minute. Liked you.

“You know….you’re quite the treat yourself.” You scoff at that, rolling your eyes.

“I thought I told you to quit flirting with me.”

“Force of habit.”

“Oh? It’s a new condition of yours?”

“Not at all, but it’s harder to maintain with you.”

Oh. You change the subject back before you fluster too much.

“I can’t be a treat. Believe it or not, I’m not the sweetest around.” Fiyero quirks a brow at you.

“No?” If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was talking to you like that on purpose. All low and sweet. Ignoring the seemingly permanent warmth to your face, you awkwardly pat his broad shoulders as you move to put some space between you two before you end up putting a name to the type of growing tension you two have.

“Well, I’m off to go study and practice. Making your acquaintance was surprisingly…fun. Nice, I mean.” You’re being completely genuine and Fiyero doesn’t even try to stop the tender grin from coming. Cheeks dimpling as he looks down at you fondly.

“The pleasure is all mine”, he says warmly. Catching you off guard again as he takes your hand, bending down as he lifts it to his lips, kissing your knuckles gently. Glancing up into your eyes before returning your hand to your side.

You don’t move for a second until he tilts his head with a grin, clearing his throat.

“Oh right! I need to- yes”, and then you’re hurrying off, heart pounding in your chest.

Fiyero watches you go, eager to see you again only it’s not the same as that longing he had earlier…

because he’s sure you feel the same.

[obliviouscxnt]

His Shadow Azriel x Reader

a/n: quick little idea/drabble i had (that could honestly get turned into another series) idk if this has been done before, if it has let me know please, I'll probably delete this. I hope you enjoy :)) <333

synopsis: azriel takes you for granted

Warnings: angst

pt.2

He thought it was poetic, the way the shadows disappeared around Mor. She brightened up his life, literally.  

Never did he think he’d find someone else capable of doing such a thing. Until he met Elaine. 

The change was gradual, so gradual he hadn’t even noticed. 

They stayed with him, at first, treating the once-human girl like any other person. But then she was turned fae, and Azriel’s visits with her began. With each visit, less, and less, shadows joined him. 

He was completely unaware, she stole his focus. 

He felt protective of her, like a precious flower he had to keep from wilting. That protectiveness slowly became something more, a yearning. Even more so when Cassian discovered he was mated to the eldest Acheron.

Though the night Elaine kissed him, everything changed.

They’d sat outside, in her garden, and even though the sky was already dark they’d stayed. Getting lost in conversation. She told him about things she cared about, and he listened. She asked him about himself, and he answered.

 At some point she ended up in front of him, gazing up at his lips. 

She looked so beautiful, illuminated by the stars, surrounded by her lovely garden. A sight he felt lucky to witness. 

When she leaned forward he couldn’t stop himself. He met her halfway, so softly, so gently. But as soon as his lips touched hers, all those feelings for her died. He felt nothing.

The switch in emotions almost gave him whiplash. It was dizzying. 

Underwhelming didn’t feel like the best word for it, but it was the only thing he could come up with. Nothing was exciting about the kiss, nothing revolutionary. It wasn’t like it felt wrong, but it didn’t feel right either. 

Disappointment was what Azriel felt. A little part of him was hoping that maybe the Acheron sister would be his mate. 

It seemed fitting, right? Three brothers, three sisters. But now that her lips were against his, he knew it wasn’t right.  

The spymaster pulls back, taking a step away. Looking at the beautiful woman. Any feelings beyond protectiveness had vanished from his body. Not even a tickle of butterflies when she smiled at him, so obviously delighted with the kiss they shared.

It wasn’t her fault, any male would be lucky to have Elaine. But it was clear to him, that male couldn’t be him.

“It’s getting late, we should head in.” Her face drops at his words, he doesn’t even look at her as he begins leading her inside and back to her room.  

He should say more, apologize, and tell her how he feels so she at least has a reason. Not just silence. But his brain was still reeling from the drastic change in emotions—or lack thereof. No words leave his mouth.

He walks Elaine up to her room. Bidding her a short goodnight before leaving the frowning woman to her own devices.

He kicked himself for hurting her, for allowing it to get that far. Elaine was just so tempting, and he was so hopeful. He kicked himself for that too. 

Of course he wouldn’t have a mate. 

He couldn't even give the poor woman an apology.

It wasn’t until he made it to his room, all the way up in the House of Wind, that he realized no shadows were with him. Not even a whisper reached his ears.  

They’d been with him as long as he could remember, and now they were just gone. 

He couldn’t place the feeling they left in their absence. But he knew he didn’t like it. 

*****

You knew it was unfair of you to be jealous. He didn’t know how deep your devotion ran.  He didn’t see life the way you had, you didn’t even think he saw you as anything other than a servant. 

It wasn’t unfair of you to feel sad about that. 

You’re nothing but shadows to him. When he’s always been everything to you. From the moment he first called to you, when you were barely a flicker of darkness.

But he would never see that. 

Azriel is sound asleep when you slip through the cracks of his door and into his room. 

He hadn’t even called to you. Did he even care you were gone? 

You find yourself taking form, a form of something he could relate to. A beautiful woman, someone like Elaine, or Mor. But you knew you looked nothing like them. Your darkness couldn't captivate beauty like that. Bold and enchanting, like the Morrigan. Pure and innocent, like Miss Elaine.

A sigh leaves your mouth as you curl up in your designated corner, looking at the hands that felt alien to you. Even if you showed him this form, saw him face to face, would he see you any differently?

You doubt it. You’d always be shadows to him.

You were so busy wallowing to yourself in the corner you didn’t see the shadowsinger stir at your sigh. Didn’t see him blink awake, or sit up and look around. 

But you felt it when his eyes settled on you for what felt like the first time. Heard the gasp that left his mouth. 

Your heart stops, frozen in fear for half a second, before it starts again, and you collapse into clouds of darkness.

*****

It was the middle of the night when Azriel woke Rhys up, shouting at him from outside his mental barriers. The worry in his voice was what had the High Lord jumping out of his mate's arms, waking Cassian, and heading to the abode carved into the top of the mountain. 

Azriel paces around the office room, running a hand through his hair. If he wasn’t so stressed he would’ve noticed that his shadows don’t try to comfort him like usual.

“What’s going on?” Rhys asks as he and Cassian walk into the room. Both are in different states of undress with looks of concern on each of their faces.

Cassian immediately notes Azriel’s distressed state, a rare sight considering the spymaster had long ago mastered staying calm and stoic in the face of trouble.

Cassian almost doesn't want to know what has the male so bothered.

“There was something in my room.” 

“What?!” The reactions are simultaneous. Any sign of sleep was immediately gone from both of their faces.

“I think it was a woman… I don’t know I didn’t get a good enough look. It disappeared right after I woke up.”  His fingers grip his hair. Heart still beating fast from the interaction. No one has ever snuck up on him like that. 

He's usually the one doing the sneaking.

His shadows, which had returned sometime after he’d fallen asleep, hadn’t even noticed the stranger, if they had they certainly didn’t warn him. He tries not to feel the nerves that fact struck in him.

“What do you mean, ‘disappeared’?” Cassian asks.

“Exactly what it sounds like, Cass. One second it was sitting in the corner of my room, the next it was gone.” Which made absolutely no sense, the wards surrounding House of Wind forbid winnowing of any kind. 

This was obviously a serious issue, the wards could either be faulty or someone could have found a way around them. 

“Are you sure it wasn’t just a vivid dream?” Cassian asks, just trying to come with any better explanation.

“Was your encounter with Bryaxis just a vivid dream?” Azriel snaps. There was no way he imagined it. No way.

Rhys diffuses, stepping in with hands raised in surrender. Silently telling Azriel that they were on his side. “What did it look like when it disappeared? Did it look like it was winnowing?” 

The spymaster thinks about it. No. No, it didn’t. 

It was like its body blended with the darkness. Became the darkness. Almost like… Azriel’s eyes widen.

A shadow. 

“What? What is it, Az?” Rhys asks, probably noticing the revelation he was having from the look on his face. 

The shadowsinger's face becomes neutral, as calm as a person with his features was capable of looking. He shakes his head. “Maybe it was nothing. Sorry for waking you guys up. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Then he left without another word.

Rhys and Cassian share a look. A mix of bewilderment, concern, and exhaustion filled their features.

Azriel waits till he reaches his room to say anything, making sure to close the door behind him before a single word can leave his mouth. “Are you jealous? Is that it? Is that why you always leave around Elaine and Mor? Why you thought it would be fun to scare me and my family? Because I don't give you enough attention?” 

His shadows scatter, detaching from his body, hiding under his bed and in the darker nooks of his room. 

“Don’t hide now. I know it was you, that’s why you didn’t warn me.” He gazes into the dark corners of his room, glaring. How could they keep something like this from him? Hide the fact that they could take form? “Show yourself.”

There was an eerie pause, Azriel’s heart began beating faster. Then the fae lights started to flicker.

With each flash more and more shadows gathered before him. Building on each other. The lights went out completely.

When he turned them back on you stood before him.

The most beautiful creature he’d ever seen.

Pure darkness rose from your body, looking like black smoke. It encapsulates you, different from the way it encapsulates him. The darkness wasn't an extension of your body, it was a part of you, was you, moved with you like it was just another limb.

“My intention was not to scare.” You spoke in a whisper he’d heard many times. A whisper that was most loyal to him. That fulfilled his every beck and call.

Azriel was at a loss for words. You were stunning, a word he'd not known the true meaning of until he laid eyes on you.

“For years, centuries, I’ve followed you. I chose you as my singer. I answered your call.” Tears fill your eyes, but when they fall they dissipate into smoke. Blowing away with a wave of your hand. “I have shown you nothing but loyalty, and care. I’ve sat back while watching you love others and I’ve made peace with it, I’ve accepted our differences.” You suck in a deep breath and steady yourself. “But when I leave, you don’t care, don't even notice.” Your lips tremble, voice breaking as you ask him a question he couldn’t even think to answer. “After everything I’ve done, how can I mean so little to you?” 

Azriel’s mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water. He has so much to say but his vocal cords are tied. He did care, though it was clear he hadn’t shown it enough. He found himself thinking about all the little times the shadows had been there for him, comforting him, caring for him. And now he could put a face to those moments, it wasn’t just shadows, it was you that’d been there for him over the years.  

“So yes, I was sad and mad, and maybe a little jealous... But I wasn’t trying to scare you. I was just- I don’t know! Imagining? Yearning for a life I can’t have?” 

 The fae lights began blinking again making his heart jump with every flicker. He doesn't want you to disappear yet. He opens his mouth to say something but you beat him to it. 

“You don’t have to say anything, I don’t want an apology.” You lift a shadowy hand, wiping your face and steeling yourself. “Don’t fret, shadowsinger, I’m still your faithful servant. I couldn’t refuse your calls even if I wanted to. And I’m okay with that, it’s what I chose. Just don’t expect me to be there for you in moments where you can't even acknowledge my existence.” 

The lights flicker again and you're gone. 

Leaving Azriel to wonder if he’s lost you. Although, he never really had you in the first place.

next->

[komoboko]

𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠

genya shinazugawa x gn!reader

this is sooo bad but i needed to ramble something at least so i can actually write something good soon

Genya does not have a crush on you.

No matter what anybody says he does not have a crush on you. Nope, not possible, never happened. He just appreciates your skill set as a slayer that’s all. He’s just admiring one of his comrades in the line of duty. When you catch his eyes drifting towards you, a longing look in his eyes that scream anything but platonic just ignore it. You’re just getting no signals because Genya doesn’t have a crush on you.

When you ask to train with Genya he accepts with little hesitation. Not because he wants to spend more time with you. Or because he’s missed your presence and doesn’t have it in him to ask himself. It couldn’t be that. Genya accepted because he needed some more help training himself. You’re a tough slayer and you can help him improve his skills. Nothing more than that obviously because he’s almost positive he doesn’t like you.

When Gyomei consults him about his change in behavior, Genya immediately doubts the accusations. Even with his disagreement Gyomei still suggests ways Genya could court and approach you. He was hesitant but still pursed and ended up using all of Gyomei’s recommendations to get closer to you. It’s not because he likes you, he’s just doing it because Gyomei told him to, duh. No, his face doesn’t turn red when he’s nearby you, nor does he lower his tone and his general attitude so you can see him in a better light. What are you talking about?

Genya who spends long nights staring up at the ceiling or the sky and his mind wanders off to you. Either to things you’ve done today if you saw him, or maybe something your planning on doing with him. Maybe he’s thinking about the last time you two hung out that wasn’t related to training. Maybe he’s thinking about something more, and just maybe it’s because he likes you. Just a little bit.

Poor boy who ends up apologizing to you after he ignored you or became to brash when you were around. He wasn’t trying to push you away he was just trying to process what he was feeling in the first place. Poor Genya who’s guilty and tries to improve on handling his little “problem” and not taking it out on you. It’s nearly given people whiplash by how much Genya changes when he is around you. Maybe it’s because people are noticing that Genya does like you, at least a little bit.

Genya who confronts you during a random nights and goes on a ramble expressing what he’s been feeling. All his emotions and his thoughts that were pent flying being able to spill out, thanks to Gyomei’s encouragement. Once he finally manages to get to the point he can’t seem to maintain eye contact until he hears you response of approval. His once embarrassed expression changes to one that looks dumbfounded but you can see the happiness crack through quickly.

Even when somebody ask again Genya answers the same, but everybody can tell it’s a bit different. Genya does not like you. In truth Genya adores you. He loves you with his heart and in his mind that goes beyond the boundaries of just liking you. As you deserved much more than that in his mind.

[c0kitty]

NOW PLAYING ... STAY THE NIGHT ft. fwb!abby anderson x f!reader

(⭑) content: wc 600+ hc. modern au. fwb!abby. smut-ish. cursing. dickhead!abby. soccer player!abby. both in uni.

READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.

(⭑) ── soccer player!abby who you disliked with a passion. it wasn’t for no reason. abby’s constant air of arrogance, her playboy-mentality with women, and her ability to have everyone at her will — just being the school’s soccer champion, didn’t sit well with you. 

so, it was your surprise when you ended up in her freaking bed later that week.  

you don't entirely remember how it happened, but one moment you were at ellie’s party, doing an intense shot-game with abby, and the next — you both were severely drunk in ellie’s bathroom, cornered, with you on the counter, and abby’s lips on yours.

you remembered small fragments of the night: abby’s lips being so soft, and tongue tasting like a mixture of vodka and grapefruit. your legs being propped around abby’s hips.

abby’s rough hands, slipping through your unbutton jean’s and into your soaked panties. 

her voice, low and soothing in your ear, “c'mon let me hear you, princess.”

it was different from her usual rough tone with you; and the worst part is you liked it. liked her praising you, whispering sweet-nothings.

(⭑) ── soccer player!abby, who fucks you out. the night after was a bit of a whiplash for you. your lips kiss-swollen, dark hickies splayed on your neck, and you were wearing abby’s jersey

abby’s arm was wrapped at your hips, holded tight like she would die before letting you go. her body half-naked only in boxers.

and for some reason having seeing abby like that, stirred so many emotions. to desire, warmth, comfort.

(⭑) ── soccer player!abby, who you can’t sleep with again — you couldn’t be like those girls she’d fuck and get bored with after they’d caught feelings.

so, you leave without a word. but, soon after, you guys would see each other in class, eye’s drawn to each other.

…and it more or less happens again, rushed in a random janitor’s closet, again in abby’s freakishly-clean room, and again, in abby’s truck, her hands pushing your shaky legs apart, two fingers curling at your g-spot.

(⭑) ── fwb!abby, who is obsessed with you, always has been. she liked how you were always head on with her stubbornness, she loved how confident, smart, pretty, especially in those mini-skirts you always wear.

and, even though abby did love etching a reaction out of you, she wanted something more; beyond the snarky exchanges you guys had.

so with this arrangement you guys had goin’ on — all it did was fuel that even more.

to your pretty little moans to her ears, your strawberry glossed-lips, and how you chanted her name reaching your high.

she didn’t want anybody else to have this — have you.

(⭑) ── fwb!abby, who you continue with this fwb thing for two-months. it was at first to you, a way to release pent-up frustration with school and life, plus the sex was good. but after a while

… you wouldn’t just immediately leave after you guys fucked, sometimes you and abby would actually have civil conversations, joke around, watch movies in bed, cuddle.

it was all starting to seem … coupley. and it scared you how much you didn’t mind it.

not minding when she arrived after-practice sweaty, at your doorstep, showering you with kisses, not minding her head on your lap as she slept snoring softly, and not minding staying up late, embarrassingly-waiting for abby to respond to your texts.

it’s not entirely glitz and glamor. you guys would still argue, more so about stupid shit. 

like who’s gonna get the remote that’s on the floor, which results into a big disagreement.

(⭑) ── yet as the weeks passed, the arguments seemed to dwindle and sometimes, abby would apologize, with your favorite food in hand.

it's very unfinished but yay i posted! 😭

[tojipie]

pls pls pls elaborate on scumbag asshole gojo i love him and i don't care if he treats me like dirt under his shoe as long as he rolls me like a pretzel and fills me like a twinkie

quick drabble

there was just something about men that had a little something wrong with them. the one’s with faces like carved marble, bodies of greek gods. hearts dripping with tar

you could see the cracks in gojo’s little persona from the moment you’d met him

your little situationship started well into the winter. in an attempt to get warm you’d stopped by a frat party for a drink or two with your friends, bumping into the taller man and spilling your cup full of jungle juice down the front of his outfit.

you feared the worst when he pushed his sunglasses down to glare at you, big blue eyes blown wide with rage. then, much to your horror, his look of pure bloodlust fades into something more akin to a sleazy grin.

“i’m just playing,” he laughs, alluding to the death stare he’d given to you.

you laugh too, more out of relief than anything. the change in emotions had given you whiplash more than anything but you figured that was just his way of joking.

“i’m sorry,” you apologize, motioning to the liquor colored splash seeping into the fabric of his jeans. “i can pay for dry cleaning if you need it.”

“why would i need money from you?” he laughs, whipping out his phone with unmatched speed. the implications of the phrase are unmistakable. his tone is vile, dripping with condescension and a unique kind of snark you’re not sure you ever want to hear again.

“you can give me your number though, we’ll figure something out,” he offers, shooting you a fake smile.

cocky, wealthy, patronizing. you want him so bad.

˚ ✧ ───

[worldly-fluster]

I have decided to try some comfort. Because I can't sleep and my mind won't shut the up.

How the LADS would react to you saying...I'm just a useless piece of s***.

(based off of some honestly real stuff in my life that still needs healing.)

Sylus, Xavier, Zayne, and Rafayel.

Here goes nothing.

Also, this could also be an almost confession from the boys if you squint.

Sylus-

He's staring at you for a moment, not really believing what you just said.

"Come again sweetheart?"

"Sorry..."

"No. No don't ever apologize for that."

He walks forward and pulls you into his arms, his chest warm and soft only for you.

"I want to know...who told you this."

His anger is palpable and raw.

"Because there is no way this is something that you would think by yourself."

There is a beat of silence before you can wince out a response.

"I...it's just something I've been told most of my life...it's nothing, not a big deal."

Sylus scoffs and holds you tighter to him, trying to protect you from your own thoughts.

"It is for me."

He pulls back just to look at your beautifully perfect face. His eyes held a deep emotion mixed with anger at the ones who hurt you and love for the person you are.

"Sweetheart, I would burn the world for you."

Xavier-

"What?"

His response is so quick compared to how he normally is that it almost gives you whiplash. You look at him for a moment as he stares at you with a look in his eyes you can't quite place.

"I-"

"No I know what you said. I want to know why you said it. Why you even think it."

He hardly let you even get a word in before he's standing closer to you.

"Who told you this?"

Came his last rather cold question.

"it's really not that big of a deal-"

Xavier scoffs slightly before he pulls you into his chest.

"Everything about you is a big deal, to me anyway. Now especially, since I've come to the conclusion that you let people walk all over you."

You feel a light peck on the top of your head as he nuzzles his face into your hair.

"You're too important to me...I can't let you keep thinking this about yourself, so, I'm going to change that."

Zayne-

Zayne freezes in place when he heard those awfully familiar words.

He's familiar with where you heard them, with the person who drilled it into your head.

His brows furrow as he turns to look at you, sitting on the couch in his office.

"What? You know they were right..."

Hearing you continue to say that, he quickly sat down whatever he was holding-he can't even remember what it was, important or not- and takes quick steps towards you.

"Zayne-?"

You're cut off as he gets on his knees in front of your sitting position and pulls you towards him in an icy embrace.

"They are wrong."

Came his reply, his voice slightly wavering with emotions.

"You are, if not the most important person I know. You are strong, talented and the most breathtaking person I will ever have the privilege of meeting in all my lifetimes. I'd rather die than let those words continue to stay in that pretty head of yours."

Rafayel-

He didn't even hear it from you.

He had to hear it from Thomas, of all people.

You were minding your own business in your small apartment when suddenly you hear loud banging on your door.

When you answer it you are met with an upset Raf that looks like he's about to cry as he flings himself through the door, shutting it with a kick of his heal.

He's breathing erratically as he buries his face into the crook of your neck.

"Raf-?"

"Shh- just...let me say something."

He shushes you before you can ask why he's so high stung this time.

"You... I've-...heh, I can't even put it into words how you are so important to me. You've become my one and only muse. I've talked about you to the ocean so much that the dolphins can sing your name, even the jellyfish will remember every syllable because I'll never shut up about you...and they don't have brains."

He lets out a strained chuckle as he refuses to let you go.

"Even if you were to slice off all of my scales and steal my breath...I would give everything of mine to you for it's already yours..."

[outsideratheart]

You Should Have Told Me (Alexia Putellas x reader)

Being away from Alexia was never easy. In fact it got harder as time went on. Luckily for you it didn’t happen often, only really when you went back to Australia whether it be for national team camp or to be with family. This time was the latter.

Like always, you and Alexia spoke to each other and found a way for it to work with the time difference. You were getting into bed and tried calling Alexia but she didn’t answer. You thought she might be busy so you text her and wait for a respond only one doesn’t come.

When you wake up the next morning you find the reason for her radio silence. A tweet which makes you feel sick.

Alexia Putellas will undergo arthroscopy surgery on 27th December.

You are filled with worry but you are also mad at your girlfriend. Why on earth were you finding this out in the internet and not by the woman herself.

Despite your mixed emotions you find yourself on a flight back to Barcelona after a length apology to your family. Funnily enough they knew it was coming as soon as they saw the news. They had only met Alexia once but the love you had for her was evident. They saw it on your face every time her name popped up on your phone.

It was the 27th by the time you arrived home or to your other home. Everyone was well aware of your relationship with Alexia so the nurses didn’t question it when you arrived at the hospital asking for her whereabouts.

“Y/N” Alba greets you with a warm hug “Alexia didn’t tell us you were coming”

“Clearly Alexia is going through a not telling people stuff phase”

Alba swallowed deeply. Your annoyance was clear and if that wasn’t a telling sign, you calling her sister by her full name was.

“Y/N I didn’t—“ Eli joins the two of you in the hall but stops talking mid sentence when she sees her youngest daughter shaking her head.

“I wouldn’t mama”

“She is in there” Eli point the door behind her “she didn’t want—“

Again she was cut off, this time by you.

“Don’t fight her battles Eli. She knew what she was doing. Feliz Navidad by way” you kiss both women on the cheek.

The two of them watch you enter Alexia’s room.

“You two need a lesson in manners. You know it’s rude to interrupt people” Eli says to Alba given that you are in the hospital room.

You get a sick sense of deja vu when you enter the room Alexia’s in. The same happened last summer and you stayed by her side for the entire thing. It’s why now didn’t make sense. You looked up the surgery, it was minor. Why didn’t she want you here now but happily had you with her then.

Alexia pays no attention to you when you enter and although she is there physically you can tell her mind is far away.

“I know I’m not your emergency contact but I would of thought being your girlfriend earned me a call or at least a text”

This got her attention. It was a good job she was already at the hospital because the speed in which she turned her head could have given her whiplash.

“Mi amorcito”

“Alexia”

Her faces changed at this. You could almost see her wince at the formalness.

“I deserve that” she knows she did wrong by not telling you. Still, she pats the space next to her hoping that you’ll join her on the bed.

She watches each step you take, you get closer to her but stop at the foot of her bed.

“What? I don’t get a hug? I am in the hospital” she tries to get you to crack a smile but fails miserably.

“Repeat those last 4 words”

“I am in the hospital” she is slightly confused because you clearly heard her.

“We have been through a lot together Alexia. Yesterday you told me everything was fine, the medics had given you a green light and that you were packing for the trip. You lied”

“Y/N I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just wanted —“

“Miss Putellas it’s time” one of her doctors come in.

“Give me a minute” Alexia doesn’t ask, she demands “I’m in the middle of something”

“No. Take her. We’re done here”

At first Alexia panics. What did you mean by we’re done here. It sounded almost like a break up but before you leave you walk over and kiss her temple. It was a small sign that you were not breaking up with her.

Her eyes remain on you as you walk out the door. Her mother steps in her eye line and Alexia recognises the look on her face; she is in trouble.

“You didn’t tell her, idiota!” Alba appears from behind their mother.

“Alba not now”

“No Mija, she’s right. When you wake up you need to fix this. That girl is the best thing to happen to you and you know that you should have told her. Alexia, she is your girlfriend she had a right to now”

“Por Dios! I know I messed up. I thought I was doing the right thing”

Alexia truly did think that. You had been with her to every physio appointment since the champions league game. You hadn’t been back in Australia long when the decision was made for her to get surgery. You had played the most minutes this season so far and for the sake of your own health you needed to rest, to recover.

She wanted you with her and truth is she needed you with her but she sacrificed that solace for you.

The surgery took two hours which is within the predicted time or least that’s what Google told Alexia when she looked it up. She woke up and saw two woman, neither of them the one she wanted to see.

“She left, didn’t she?” Alexia looked defeated as she came to.

“She did” Alba replied with a wicked grin on her face.

“But then she came back” Eli told the whole truth.

Alexia watched as her mum and sister stepped aside revealing you curled up on the chair fast asleep.

“I think the jet lag must have caught up with her. I saw the girl drink three double espressos but even they couldn’t help fight the urge to sleep” Eli explained.

Your girlfriend knew the battle all too well. She saw the way the time difference affected you when you travelled for international camp. Sleep always won in the end.

“Do you think she’ll forgive me?” Alexia asks her mother specifically only to earn a response from her sister.

“Of course she will. Y/N loves you and I’m talking the type of love dad had for mama. I think you’re stupid for not telling her but knowing you, you probably thought you were doing the right thing”

“No, she was being stupid” your raspy voice gained the attention of all three Putellas women.

“I was and I’m sorry”

You and Alexia were given some privacy.

“I am sorry Y/N, I didn’t mean to hurt you”

“What did you think would happen? I found out my girlfriend would be having surgery on twitter. Strangers found out the same time as me”

“I wanted you here with me but you needed to be with your family“

“I needed to be with you. I love you and nobody comes above you Ale.”

“But you were supposed to be in Australia. You had plans to spend new year in Sydney. It had been planned all year”

“You’re wrong Alexia. We were supposed to be in Australia. We had plans to spend new year in Sydney. We planned it together. I don’t care where I am as long as I am with you”

“I should have told you”

“Yes, you should have. Are you able to squeeze up? I’ve had enough of being mad at you”

Alexia knows that she’s strong enough to move and does so happily. She would do anything if it meant having you beside her. It came as no surprise that you were the little spoon in the relationship so Alexia naturally holds you close.

“I’m scared Y/N. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I had the surgery and I put in the work. I was back and now look at me. I’m back at the beginning again”

“No you’re not. This isn’t like it was before. Your knee is stronger now. I called the physio on my way to the airport and he told me everything. The surgery was only an investigation”

“Would you still loved me if I’m not as good as before? If I never win another balón d’Or?”

“Alexia Putellas Segura, what silly questions those are. I loved you long before you won your first and I will love you long after you hang up your boots. I fell for the person, not the player and you’ll do good to remember that”

Alexia took a moment to take in what you had said. Her greatest fear was that you’d leave her but deep down she knew that wouldn’t happen. Your words only reiterated this.

“Did you return the outfit? Nurse Y/N might be needed again”

You jokingly gasped at her suggestion. When you look up you see that her eyes have darkened slightly. She did love you in that criminally short costume.

“I think I have it somewhere” you cup her cheek and Alexia leans into your touch.

[snoopyana]

boys cry too.

“boys cry too, you called me & told me you never felt so low.”

he loves you so much. you’re always in the forefront of his mind, hoping you’re ok when he can’t be there to see for himself. but he was the least of your worries. what a shame.

park wonbin. toxic reader. angst. smut.

staring at his phone, disappointment was painted all over his face. knuckles growing white as he gripped the device. you had told him you’d be outside in ten minutes — so he drove over ten minutes earlier. but by now, forty had passed and there was a growing pain in his chest. heart heavy, wonbin looked at his ‘i’m here!’ message that sat on delivered. praying for it to switch to read in the blink of an eye. but it never did, at least not yet.

the streetlight that he decided to park under, purely for your convenience, started to flicker. body leaning into the leather seat of his car, the rumble of his engine filled the vechile. wonbin contemplated on leaving. even though he was originally over the moon to finally hangout with you, that excitement was slowly fading. being replaced with a sense of insecurity.

did you forget?

but he had all night to wait for you. so even if you remembered hours later, he would be quick to agree to another outing. you play with his heart, and he just waits until you’re done. there was times when he tried to tell himself that he was done being your last priority. lost in his thoughts, contemplating the what ifs. throwing his head back against the seat, his waterline started to sting. an obvious sign of the tears fighting to roll down his face. using the palms of his hands, wonbin aggressively rubbed his eyelids in an attempt to push back the tears.

but he failed.

he always failed. he always ended up crying by himself when you left him on delivered. when you forgot about the plans that you made. when you ignored him because you didn’t want to talk. it crushed his soul every single time. the tears leaving his face hot and his body shaken every time. but he knew you didn’t mean it, he knew that you were just busy. right? you were just busy because you would always contact him and apologize. promising that you wouldn’t forget next time.

a tapping on his passenger side window snapped him out of his thoughts, causing a halt to the mini pity party he was having. swiping away tears, wonbin unlocked his doors — allowing you to situate yourself into his car. there was a silence with his occasional sniffle. your eyes glued on the phone that illuminated your face. a few minutes would pass before you finally looked at him. but only for a second and no longer than a second.

“hey binnie.” the way you spoke in such a sweet tone nearly gave him whiplash. not seeing how you could so casually greet him as if you weren’t a whole hour behind schedule. greeting him without knowing that you were the reason he was so distraught a few moments ago. “sorry i took so long, i-“ but you were stopped.

“you forgot.”

his words caught you off guard. a scuff almost leaving your mouth when he cut you off, but thank god it got stuck in your throat. glancing over to the man, your eyes scanned his face. the way his cheeks were flushed, eyes puffy and bottom lip quivering, but he still managed to smile so softly at you. it almost made your heart ache. just almost. your eyes were trained on his trembling pupils — the way he looked so sad yet so happy to see you.

“you forgot, but it’s ok. i have all day for you to make time for me.” his voice cracking with every syllable that slipped past his lips. you did forget, but your pride wouldn’t let you say that. you couldn’t say that. so instead, you tripped to flip it. “what? of course i didn’t forget, of course i have time for you.” your snappy tone making his smile falter for just a split second. facing forward, his hands gripped onto the steering wheel. so what now? the air was thick, and he was hurt.

putting the vehicle into drive, wonbin tried to get ahold of his emotions as he drove. all while you shifted your attention back to the screen in your hands. connecting your phone to the cars bluetooth. boys cry too filled the empty space. as he drove around, the music was slowly drowned out by the ringing in his ears. becoming lost in his own mind while his body was on autopilot. pulling into a secluded park near the park.a place you two used to frequent, back when you cared.the music had long since been turned off as he turned off the car. leaning back into his seat, wonbins’ eyes found their way to your face.

they always did.

“did you really want to hang out with me today?” he still had that saddened expression on his face as he looked at you. picking at the skin around his fingers, waiting for an answer. waiting for anything. shifting in the seat, you managed to turn completely towards wonbin — shoving your phone into the pocket of your hoodie. “yeah, sure i lost track of time, but that doesn’t mean i didn’t wanna see you.” reaching over, you used the pads of your fingers to swipe away lingering tears on his face. he looked adorable, all worked up.

but he couldn’t seem to believe you, yet allowing your fingers to wipe and caress his face. “i hate your excuses, they hurt so much more than when you ignore me.” he tried so hard to keep a steady tone, cheeks heating up as he kept eye contact.

“do you want me to show you how much i love being around you?” before he could even answer, you were sliding yourself into his lap. reaching down to adjust his seat — making enough room for you both to sit comfortably in the small space. cupping his cheeks in both hands, your thumbs working circles on the skin that you couldn’t quite cover with your palms. leaning forward to plant small kisses on his forehead. humming into his skin when his hands found sanctuary on your thighs.

but don’t get it twisted, you were only doing this so he wouldn’t leave. so he felt loved, and wanted.

your kisses eventually found his lips, nipping at his bottom for entry — entry that he gladly gave to you. while your tongue roamed his mouth, one of your hands started its own adventure to his pants. single handedly unbuttoning the fabric. speaking against his lips, you instructed him to slip down his jeans. he was quick to follow, a whine leaving his throat when the cold air of his car hit the exposed flesh. you didn’t plan on fucking him in his car, just a quick handjob to keep him satisfied.

it’s truly a shame how pretty he was, letting all that beauty go to waste by being such a cling. that’s truly the only reason you never perused him. but you were so lucky that he loved you and adored you as much as he did — letting you do anything you wanted in exchange for the smallest sliver of your attention.

your lips attached themselves to his neck, one hand gripping onto his nape while the other slowly pumped his dick. gripping onto the sides of your hoodie, wonbin let his head fall back into the seat. but this time he wasn’t crying. strings of his moans and whines floating in the air while your hand set a painfully slow pace. gripping at his base before slowly sliding back up to his twitching tip. your thumb spreading around the precum that leaked from his slit.

he would make attempts to buck up into your enclosed fist. only to be forced back down by the weight of your body on his own. his head spinning at the damn-near torturous speed of your hand and your teeth bruising the pale skin of his neck. it was all too much as once, too much in general. broken pleas and cries for you to speed up.

so you finally did, he wanted it right?

the switch of pace had his body squirming underneath you, causing the vehicle to slightly rock side to side. thighs tightening, wonbin held onto you for dear life. if he wasn’t lightheaded before, he definitely was now. parted lips allowing for any and every sound to come from him. you could tell he was close, you knew him all too well. whispering praises just below his ear to push him to the edge. and it worked. it didn’t take much for more until he was releasing all over your hand and onto himself. repeating your name as if he would forget it later. resting your head onto his shoulder, you allowed for him to catch his breath.

but you didn’t stay long, wiping your hand onto his now cum-stained shirt. you opened the car door and stepped out, as your apartment was only a few blocks away from where you two were seated. leaving him without even a goodbye.

“it’s always me left to clean up all the mess.”

note- ok first, 3 fics in week? let me calm down before i get burnt out 😭😭 but i really wanted to write a subish wonbin and i was in the mean mood?? so my apologies for those who wanted a good end. heh. also i linked the song that this is loosely based off of, you just gotta find it! (it’s so easy to find but still)