#aphobia -

[fuckyeahasexual]

And on the other hand, if I am to go to a queer event it’s likely to start off with many laughs and good energy, but by the end of the night I would have at some point had my asexual identity invalidated by other people in the queer community. This has happened at every single queer event that I have ever gone to.

[ace-culture-is]

Ace culture is seeing (former) online queer friends talking about aces as if they are just "spicy straight" who should stop complaining. Even worse for demi people. "Congratulations, you're just normal." Ugh, get fucked so hard.

The irony is that I have always had difficult considering myself queer to any degree, like it didn't feel like a word that applied to somebody who had such few consequences from their sexuality. And most of the bigotry against me has been other gatekeeping queer people. Fuckin' amazing.

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[heyftinally]

This is exactly the kind of thing people have been saying NOT to do, and I cannot stress enough how much I agree.

For those who don't know, Massachusetts has a VERY high population of republicans. It's a blue state only barely, and that threatens to change every day. With the ever-present risk of breach of confidentiality, it is not safe to put your information into this survey.

The presidential bigot has already passed enough executive orders that are leaning towards compiling a list of trans people - do not make it easier for him to find you.

If the survey's protocols fail or if they get strong armed into giving up that information to the government, you are fucked.

Trans people specifically are in the most danger currently, but asexuals aren't safe for long, either. None of us are.

Frankly, I'm a little disappointed to see AVEN promoting this with seemingly little to no consideration given to the very real danger this kind of thing can put people in.

Now is the time to be stealth as much as possible until you know you are in a safe situation. Don't link your name to your transness on anything official if you don't absolutely have to. Especially if you live in a red/heavily affected state right now, if you can be "just some guy/girl", do. And be choosy about who gets to know your whole story. As much as we need to work together to fight this, make sure you know for absolutely certain who will value your safety over the draw of a cash reward. They've already proven this is a tactic they'll use with immigrants, it's only a matter of time before they use in on LGB(primarily)T people.

[fun-k-boards]

Aphobia is crazy because why does my decision not to fuck or romance anybody matter to you

[confused-canid]

"B-b-but what if ur not actually aro!! What if u just haven't met the right person yet?? Ur still young 🥺"

Than I'll stop using the aro label. I'll realize that I was incorrect and go on with my life. No one's changed my mind yet though. I haven't met that "special someone 🥺🥺🥺🥺" "yet" so I don't care about this entirely hypothetical person.

Aphobes are stupid ngl. Realizing that this label doesn't fit me (which it will almost definitely still fit me as I get older) isn't going to be some world shattering event. I'll move on, I'll accept my mistake. Lol

I'm not ace, but this post wasn't about being aroallo so go wild, I se you aroaces and aces, y'all r cool so you can tag it as ace and aroace

Everyone in the reblogs and comments, talking about how finding the right person doesn't invalidate being aspec are right, I should've said that in the post, but this point has been made on this post by others a thousand times. It's getting a bit annoying. No hate but if it happens again I might turn of replies and if it happens again in a reblog I'm turning those off too.

[pinkxcloudz]

isn't it fucked up that people describing their relationships get their language policed; even though it's their relationship? isn't it fucked up that most of those terms are coined by aspecs? i.e.

"my platonic polycule"

"you mean friendgroup?"

"my queerplatonic partner"

"you mean friend?"

"my sexual partner"

"you mean fuck buddy?"

"my squish-"

"your WHAT?"

it's tiring. trying to live in a world as an aspec person and seeing casual aphobia everywhere. you can't get a break. maybe ask if it affects you. are these terms offensive? are you in that relationship? is it your business? if no, shut your mouth

[paimonthearchivist2]

i've been on this website for almost 10 years. all queer discourse looks like this:

hello fellow queers, don't you just hate those [queer subgroup] trying to harm us [different queer subgroup, "real queers" implied] by [discussing their experiences], which is [bigotry toward queer subgroup 2]. these [fascist dogwhistle] want to [fascist scapegoat rhetoric], because [identity phrenology]. clearly, we must destroy these [fascist dogwhistle, implied queer subgroup 1] because they are a threat to [queer subgroup 2] and queer people as a whole!

[whatdoesthequeersay]

ACE 👏 PEOPLE 👏 CAN 👏 MAKE 👏 DIRTY 👏 JOKES

Then again, if you’re an aphobe, your mom already made the dirtiest fucking joke of all time, so why should we bother?

[thepileofclothesonyourdesk]

[nyancrimew]

ace aro people stop derailing and being annoying challenge. we should bring aphobia back

man shut the fuck up ur lame as hell

[edwardallenpoe]

Whenever I see aphobia this is all I can think about. If you think loveless people are "psychotic" or "narcissistic" or "broken" I know how you actually feel about disordered/disabled people. Just telling on yourself with this one chief.

[ace-culture-is]

Ace culture is being told that you’re not asexual by a therapist because you said you’re not sexually attracted towards either gender, even though that’s what being ace is? (Why did she say that?💀)

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[anistarrose]

the more I get back in my habit from 2018-ish of searching "asexual" on blogs before I make a habit of interacting with them frequently, the more I realize that a lot of people started to reblog way less aphobia circa 2018, but without literally any sign of their opinions on asexual people changing, or making any effort to include them.

and that's how we get the current tumblr climate. people doing a disservice to important stuff like sex positivity or kink at pride, by just regurgitating shit like "well sex is what makes us queer, you fucking prude." instead of, you know, actually talking about why sex positivity is important for a wide range of sexualities, or why kink at pride has a long historical context. or even bringing up the fact that policing/mocking people's relationship with sex just for being different than yours is just inherently bad in and of itself. the aphobia is still ingrained in this site, just subtler now.

[greenteaandtattoos]

character: -doesn't express interest in romance-

them: "oh, they're SOOOOOO gay"

aros: "i mean, they could be aro-"

them: "NO HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST THAT THEY BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN G A Y YOU'RE BEING HOMOPHOBIC"

[biwrites]

I think queer people as a community will do a LOT of healing once we accept that our experiences aren’t neatly divided into identity boxes.

Transfems and transmascs share experiences

Binary and non-binary trans people share experiences

Trans and intersex people share experiences

Cis and trans people share experiences

Lesbians and bi people share experiences

Gay men and bi people share experiences

Bi and pan people share experiences

Lesbians and gay men share experiences

Monosexual and mspec people share experiences

Asexuals and allosexuals share experiences

And YES, these include “[identity] specific experiences”

Your experiences are colored by the other factors in your life as well such as race, class, and disability status.

In other words: these things aren’t neat and clear cut, once we stop trying to divide ourselves and deny our siblings solidarity when they try to build it, we can get a lot of shit done

[sullina]

told someone i was aroace today and their immediate response was "how terrible!"

like, i've read from others that things like this happen, but ngl, actually experiencing it myself was a little surprising.

I wasn't really all that offended tho. I've only known this person for a few days.

But still. my first response was "how is it terrible?"

I'm not exactly "missing out" on anything. How could I miss out on something that sounds like a nightmare to me?