#aphobia /

[blouscail]

This is also disheartening for asexuals (me I’m talking about me) because wtf do you mean Viktor’s only ace because one of the creators is homophobic??

Not only could Vik be ace AND gay, he could be ace and have ALL THE SEX because guess what? Asexuality is not some horny jail you can just lock characters into when they misbehave, it’s an ORIENTATION. Viktor being ace, whether canon or not, says nothing of his attitude towards sex and/or romance (which is like, a whole separate thing) and just makes this creator look like a kid suddenly changing the rules of their own game because they aren’t winning anymore.

Sure, he can be ace, but not because he’s a ‘sexless disabled person’. He can be disabled as well as ace, sex-favourable, and everything else you could ever dream of. One of the many reasons we love this show because the characters are beautifully complex. But talking about their sexuality is taking it too far suddenly? Really?? Give me a fucking break.

Just… let them be, man. Once they’re out of your hands, they belong to the people. And you won’t stop the people from making art and fics and anything in between by throwing an entire fucking sexual orientation under the bus. We’re real people, not an argument against shippers.

(suggestive warning)

viktor being confirmed to be asexual but only because christian linke despises the idea of jayvik being inherently sexual or just romantic for that matter is just so disheartening

im so sick of disabled people just being viewed as undesirable and unable to have sex in comparison to characters like jayce. and to see this type of stereotype being placed on a character i align myself with heavily is just so devastating

[scn-thedog]

i can't be the only one bothered by this right

[satyrradio]

I actually really hate how the "just call me a slur" joke went from being a critique of rainbow capitalism and faux inclusionism to being a way to make fun of nonbinary and aspec ppl literally just. having language.

"Joyfriend? Queerplatonic? Erm.. literally just call me a slur XD" shut the fuck upppp goddamn

[fun-k-boards]

Aphobia is crazy because why does my decision not to fuck or romance anybody matter to you

[confused-canid]

"B-b-but what if ur not actually aro!! What if u just haven't met the right person yet?? Ur still young 🥺"

Than I'll stop using the aro label. I'll realize that I was incorrect and go on with my life. No one's changed my mind yet though. I haven't met that "special someone 🥺🥺🥺🥺" "yet" so I don't care about this entirely hypothetical person.

Aphobes are stupid ngl. Realizing that this label doesn't fit me (which it will almost definitely still fit me as I get older) isn't going to be some world shattering event. I'll move on, I'll accept my mistake. Lol

I'm not ace, but this post wasn't about being aroallo so go wild, I se you aroaces and aces, y'all r cool so you can tag it as ace and aroace

Everyone in the reblogs and comments, talking about how finding the right person doesn't invalidate being aspec are right, I should've said that in the post, but this point has been made on this post by others a thousand times. It's getting a bit annoying. No hate but if it happens again I might turn of replies and if it happens again in a reblog I'm turning those off too.

[pinkxcloudz]

isn't it fucked up that people describing their relationships get their language policed; even though it's their relationship? isn't it fucked up that most of those terms are coined by aspecs? i.e.

"my platonic polycule"

"you mean friendgroup?"

"my queerplatonic partner"

"you mean friend?"

"my sexual partner"

"you mean fuck buddy?"

"my squish-"

"your WHAT?"

it's tiring. trying to live in a world as an aspec person and seeing casual aphobia everywhere. you can't get a break. maybe ask if it affects you. are these terms offensive? are you in that relationship? is it your business? if no, shut your mouth

[whatdoesthequeersay]

ACE 👏 PEOPLE 👏 CAN 👏 MAKE 👏 DIRTY 👏 JOKES

Then again, if you’re an aphobe, your mom already made the dirtiest fucking joke of all time, so why should we bother?

[fuckyeahasexual]

Creating new spaces are always worth a try, but a community thrives on conflict resolution. Let's support each other!

-Fae

New space possibly?

I'm thinking about making a space online called "Positively Aego" because there's so many spaces that straight up SHAME aegosexuals who enjoy sex in the moment with a partner. I genuinely hate that some of the biggest authority spaces for aegosexuals have this sex shaming attitude.

[paimonthearchivist2]

i've been on this website for almost 10 years. all queer discourse looks like this:

hello fellow queers, don't you just hate those [queer subgroup] trying to harm us [different queer subgroup, "real queers" implied] by [discussing their experiences], which is [bigotry toward queer subgroup 2]. these [fascist dogwhistle] want to [fascist scapegoat rhetoric], because [identity phrenology]. clearly, we must destroy these [fascist dogwhistle, implied queer subgroup 1] because they are a threat to [queer subgroup 2] and queer people as a whole!

[thepileofclothesonyourdesk]

[nyancrimew]

ace aro people stop derailing and being annoying challenge. we should bring aphobia back

man shut the fuck up ur lame as hell

[anistarrose]

the more I get back in my habit from 2018-ish of searching "asexual" on blogs before I make a habit of interacting with them frequently, the more I realize that a lot of people started to reblog way less aphobia circa 2018, but without literally any sign of their opinions on asexual people changing, or making any effort to include them.

and that's how we get the current tumblr climate. people doing a disservice to important stuff like sex positivity or kink at pride, by just regurgitating shit like "well sex is what makes us queer, you fucking prude." instead of, you know, actually talking about why sex positivity is important for a wide range of sexualities, or why kink at pride has a long historical context. or even bringing up the fact that policing/mocking people's relationship with sex just for being different than yours is just inherently bad in and of itself. the aphobia is still ingrained in this site, just subtler now.

[edwardallenpoe]

Whenever I see aphobia this is all I can think about. If you think loveless people are "psychotic" or "narcissistic" or "broken" I know how you actually feel about disordered/disabled people. Just telling on yourself with this one chief.

[greenteaandtattoos]

character: -doesn't express interest in romance-

them: "oh, they're SOOOOOO gay"

aros: "i mean, they could be aro-"

them: "NO HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST THAT THEY BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN G A Y YOU'RE BEING HOMOPHOBIC"

[hyperlexichypatia]

Also, since these activities are often done in private, you have absolutely no way of knowing whether that bi man likes to kiss men or suck dick.

You mean he doesn't want to kiss YOU and doesn't want to suck YOUR dick.

Just reinventing fratboy "She wouldn't sleep with me? Must be a frigid dyke bitch!" culture but trying to make it queer.

Anyway, sexual activity doesn't determine sexual identity; romantic and sexual attraction can be different; there are many forms of physical intimacy beyond what people might think of as "having sex,"; no one is obligated to like or do any type of sex act they don't want to do; asexuality and celibacy are valid; there's no such thing as a fake queer person; gatekeeping is bullshit.

I'm really tired of the trend of using one's desire (or lack of) to put their mouth anywhere as a measure of sexual orientation.

Some people don't do oral or open mouth kissing, and it doesn't mean they're incapable of attraction. It has no correlation with attraction at all. You can love someone and want to have sex with them without it including any oral activities on either side.

Y'all are fucking obsessed with trying to performatively out-queer each other, and it only hurts the whole community in the end.

Bonus unsurprising aphobia

Do better.

[sullina]

told someone i was aroace today and their immediate response was "how terrible!"

like, i've read from others that things like this happen, but ngl, actually experiencing it myself was a little surprising.

I wasn't really all that offended tho. I've only known this person for a few days.

But still. my first response was "how is it terrible?"

I'm not exactly "missing out" on anything. How could I miss out on something that sounds like a nightmare to me?