#aph thirteen colonies

[peonycats]

Hey, so as a person who has in my unpublished works a story wherein APH Greenland is minorly featured, after I saw your post complaining about Greenland's current characterisation in fanworks, I realised that my story 100% fits all the things you were complaining about. And if it's not too much trouble how would you characterise Greenland in a way that is less problematic?

Or do you have any reccomendations for resources I can use to educate myself about Greenlandic culture?

So, I will preface this with the following:

I AM NOT INDIGENOUS. I AM NOT INUK. YOU SHOULD GO ASK SOMEONE INDIGENOUS OR BETTER YET, SOMEONE WHO IS GREENLANDIC INUIT.

However, in this post, I will primarily give some guidelines that are generally applicable to any nation personification of color that has experienced colonialism/imperialism by a Western nation and is still dealing with its legacy. Keep in mind that what you're asking for is a lot, however- we're touching on topics of national anthropomorphizations in political cartoons, the depiction of the colonized, particularly the indigenous, and the relationship between the colonized and the colonizer.

Don't make Greenland America and Canada's relative.

Don't make Greenland Denmark's kid, biological or otherwise.

Don't use sensitive contemporary issues in Greenland for fandom content.

Don't Make Greenland America and Canada's Relative

Every time I've seen this come up, this is usually justified one of two ways-

a) Greenland is related to America and Canada because the Vikings set up the first European settlements in continental North America, so they would be related via their Norse heritage. b) Greenland is related to America and Canada because America and Canada have a native parent, and Greenland is a sibling of that native parent.

To head things off- The first one is bad. See my next section for the issues of making Greenland a child of the Nordics/Nordic ancestors.

The second one almost always carries the implication of that the native parent of America and Canada is some kind of nebulous pan-American "APH Native America" personification; the issues with having the many indigenous peoples of the Americas as similar and interchangeable enough to warrant only one personification to represent them all are obvious, I should hope.

The slightly more plausible alternative is that America and Canada's native parent represents some Inuit group, and through that, Greenland is their sibling. Even if more plausible, we run into the same issue of turning a group into a monolith- there are many different Inuit groups, all with their own unique histories and cultures. Though Inuit groups may be more related than all Indigenous Americans to each other, they are still not a monolith, and determining their relationships to each other shouldn't be resolved with a blanket solution of "they're all related, nuff said."

If we want to dig into the weeds of historical accuracy, it makes no sense for America to have Inuit heritage, seeing as the United States began as the Thirteen Colonies in the Eastern Seaboard of the modern United States which doesn't overlap with the traditional lands of the Inuit. The Alaska Purchase was not made until 1867, hundreds of years after the establishment of the Thirteen Colonies.

I would also like to point out another issue I’ve seen with many “Auntie/Uncle Greenland depictions” in the fandom. Whenever you do see such depictions of Greenland in the fandom, almost never do we see the creator of such interpretations shedding light on any other indigenous characters (particularly ones not related to the USA and Canada). Therefore, such depictions are exceptionalizing and exalting an indigenous character above all other indigenous characters because they have more of a connection to major Western countries. 

Overall summary: The primary issue with making Greenland related to America and Canada is that Greenland is never allowed to exist outside of their links to these two. If you want to depict Greenland with respect, the most basic thing you can do is to not reduce Greenland into a tool for you to better characterize America and Canada and flesh out their background.

Don't make Greenland Denmark's Child, Biological or Otherwise

TW: racist caricatures of black, Latino, Native American, and Asian people

So first some quick historical background: Norse settlement of Greenland began around the 900s-1100s and died out sometime between 1450 and 1500 due to a variety of environmental and sociopolitical reasons. The surviving Norse settlers most likely either left or assimilated with the local Inuit populations, so there is some genetic legacy, but 85-90% of the population of Greenland today considers themselves Greenlandic Inuit.

For the following centuries, there were sporadic interactions between European whalers and the local Inuit. It was only until 1721 that another attempt at colonization was made, this time by the missionary Hans Egede, who founded a trading company and Lutheran mission near present day Nuuk, with the express permission of the Kingdom of Denmark-Norway.

Greenland took on a special status in both Danish policy and imagination, a far-off land that was "vulnerable" to other nation's influences and in need of Danish protection. In line with that thinking, the Danish state held an exclusive monopoly on Greenland's resources and all trade with Greenlanders. It pressured Greenlandic Inuit to stay in their occupations of hunting and fishing so that Denmark could maintain access to resources Greenland provided, mainly animal products from local wildlife the Inuit hunted.

Additionally, the Danish also tightly regulated interactions between the Danish colonial population and the local Inuits. For a time, intermarriage was strictly controlled, limited to only Danish men and Greenlandic women of mixed descent and had to be approved by the colonial administration. When the US wanted to build military bases on Greenland for military purposes during WW2, a major concern of Greenlandic authorities was minimizing contact between the US soldiers and the local Inuits.

Of course, Greenland didn’t stay this way forever. Against Denmark’s wishes, Greenland did open up and become further integrated into the global economy and order of nations, and to this day a lot of Greenlanders have a Danish ancestor somewhere in their family tree.

However, to make Greenland (substantially) related to the Norse is to do a disservice to the hundreds of years of Greenlandic Inuit culture that already existed and then continued to thrive for hundreds of years in the absence of continued Nordic contact and influence. It implies that the ethnogenesis of the Greenlandic Inuit was kicked off by the Norse settlers, when in reality, the Greenlandic Inuit are largely descended from the native Thule people and later waves of migration of other Inuit people from modern day Nunavut and Nunavik. To make Greenland the child of Denmark is worse, and stands in stark contrast to the fact that compared to other nations and their settler colonies (think, England and America), Denmark heavily controlled Danish migration to Greenland and wanted to keep Greenland isolated and contained.

Now, moving past the issue of historical accuracy, there's been a long history in political cartoons starring national anthropomorphizations of allegorizing international relationships as familial relationships, or "mentor-mentee" relationships, especially when it comes to colonizer-colony relationships.

REPORT FROM THE FILIPINES Send more soldiers -Otis Uncle Sam: Balm in Gilead! Well, thank heavens both my new daughters haven't got the same disposition.

'School Begins', cartoon of Uncle Sam teaching a class in civilisation to pupils labelled 'Philippines', 'Hawaii', 'Porto Rico' and 'Cuba'

In these cartoons, the colonized is portrayed as child-like, infantile, in need of the US's benevolent guidance to be "civilized." After all, if the relationship between the colonizer and its colonial possessions was like that of a parent and their children (or a teacher and their students)- well, children need their parents, so therefore, the colonies need the colonizer and its guidance, right? By doing so, it portrays the relationship between the colonizer and its colonies as a necessary, benevolent one, one done for the benefit of the colony, and masks the inherently exploitative, unequal nature of colonialism. 

To make Denmark a parental influence on Greenland, then, is to replicate the same paternalistic attitude Denmark took to Greenland as a colonial possession in need of guidance and direction, and possibly whitewashing the toll Danish colonization has taken on Greenland. Even depictions of Denmark and Greenland that emphasize their “little brother/big brother” relationship are problematic, because they fall into the same colonial rhetoric of Greenland "needing" Denmark's civilizing guidance.

Moreover, sensitivity is another concern for depictions of Greenland. At the risk of speaking for groups I do not belong to, having a child Greenland be raised by Denmark and the other Nordics (esp if Greenland has a negative relationship w them) hews a little too closely to the real life kidnapping of Indigenous children from their families to be raised instead by white families, in an attempt to remove them from their heritage and culture. Unless you're actually Greenlandic Inuit or indigenous, I don't think this is your story to tell.

Don't Use Sensitive Contemporary Issues in Greenland for Fandom Content

Don't use sensitive contemporary issues for fandom content, especially as an outsider. Don't be like the person I saw making angst headcanons around Greenland's high suicide rate.

---

Recommended Reading

This video is a great introduction to Danish colonization of Greenland, and how I began my dive into Greenlandic history. Bear in mind that this is a 25 minute long video, so it's compressing a lot, but it's a jumping off point, not the end-all be all. Content warnings should be in the beginning of the video.

Phasing out the Colonial Status of Greenland by Erik Beukel

This is a report commissioned by the Danish government and Greenlandic Home Rule analyzing the period between 1945 and 1954, where Greenland's status was changed from that of a colony to an equal part of the Kingdom of Denmark. It's a series of political science essays looking at this period, but I found Chapter 2 the most useful, as it provides an overview of the relevant historical background factors in the relationship between Greenland and Denmark. Warning for some dated language (mostly because it uses Esk*mo at certain points) but otherwise there's not really any content warnings.

Worldviews of the Greenlanders: An Inuit Arctic Perspective by Brigitte Sonne

I haven't fully read this book so I can't totally vouch for this, but given the difficulty of accessing academic material of Greenland (especially as someone who doesn't speak or read Danish), this does fill in some much needed gaps in perspectives on Greenland. I realize the inherent problems of needing to read about Inuit perspectives in a book compiled by an outsider academic as well as the issues with the field of ethnography as a whole, but this may still be useful to some!

Articles I enjoyed that look at Greenlandic history and contemporary issues:

The Arctic Suicides: It's Not the Dark that Kills you

A Brief History of the Indignities Heaped Upon Greenland

How a failed social experiment in Denmark separated Inuit children from their families

[ask-alaska-and-hawaii]

Thanksgiving Preparation

Massachusetts: Alright, states we have T minus 5, no! 4 hours to get this damn house ready!

Pennsylvania *half-awake*: Okay, Masshole, why wake us up at five in the morning though?

Massachusetts: One call me that again and I place a hex on your face. Second, we are already behind schedule already.

Delaware: So, she says.

Massachusetts: That threat applies to you as well. Anyways, we have a lot to do. Georgia, Maryland, you and Louisiana are going to be in charge of the food. Delaware and Pennsylvania will be in charge of setting up the table before Dad wakes up. South and North will set up the games for later outside.

South Carolina: You know it's freezing outside right?

Massachusetts: Put on a jacket then. Connecticut, New Hampshire, and New York will be in charge of managing the budget we have this year given that last year we went a BIT over.

New York: A bit?! I spent a week trying to rebalance our home budget because of it.

Massachusetts: Again I will curse you. And finally, I want Ginny-

Virginia: Don't call me that!

Massachusetts: Ginny and Rhodey to get the donations Dad asked to gather from the states...Speaking of Dad, I want this Thanksgiving to go well not just for me but for him. These past two years have been really difficult on him and part of that is from us so I want this year to be the best Thanksgiving he's ever had. I want today to be a day where all of us can just come together and be thankful that we're all here and together.

The Thirteen:...*nods*

Massachusetts: Also if something bad happens, I will destroy you all with my magic. Alright, everyone to your jobs!

[meetthemidwest]

I like to think that during the American Revolution Massachusetts stormed into colony meetings like John Adams in the musical 1776 and the other twelve were just like, no Mass, not again. 

[claudiafekete]

This is another ordinary story of “how xxx fandoms changed my life” -

- or maybe not. you decide. I want to write it down.  trigger warning for politics, discussion of sexual violence, mild gender dysphoria It’s also horribly long. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. 

When I first came to tumblr, I had just graduated from APH. Short for Axis Power Hetalia. I learned about it in the form of manga. For years it was my everything - I learned what fanfic or fanart meant and I learned the basic online etiquette. As I grew in years, it accompanied me.

Until it didn’t.

Shortly after I fell into solangelo.

It’s a fun story, how I picked up PJO years after years of absence. My brother was whining about something written in Magnus Chase. “What do you think the Norse Gods were going to do to Percy that Annabeth was crying?” He demanded. I expressed my confusion. He kept on with his different theories and I made the decision to look it up online later.

My online search of Percy Jackson’s fate soon revealed something unknown to me before: solangelo. The first canon gay ship I ever knew. Therefore, at the ripe old age of 19, I threw myself into this endless hole called “tumblr” for the first time.

It was the most LGBTQ+ friendly place I had ever been. I joke you not. It was also the place where I was taught not only how a healthy relationship should look like, but also how sex should or could be like.  You don’t learn anything healthy about sex in Chinese or Mandarin using fandom, at least during the years I was in them. There were rigid 攻/受(roughly translated as top/bottom) stereotypes that everyone rushed to squeezed their characters into them. A lot of time though both person might ship A with B, they wouldn’t interact because one thought A should top and another thought B should top. Their different topping designation resulted in depictions of the characters’ personalities so dramatically differed that you couldn’t recognize them as the same characters.  Other than the refreshing relationship dynamics, Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard offered me a chance to take a look at my gender identity. I had known that theoretically non-binary people existed outside of binary gender, but I hadn’t known how one might live as one or describe themselves as one. I’m not trying to claim that Alex Fierro’s story is the only story of non-binary people. I’m trying to say that it was the starting point for me to make exploration and find the label  “agender” for myself.

I stayed in APH for 6 years. I had expected to stay in solangelo for longer.

Entered June 2019 with its whispers and anxious demonstrations. Entered folks pouring into streets in Hong Kong. Entered tear gas and facemasks and sticks and a bullet scarcely missing the heart and journalists beaten by police. Entered young students not of age disappearing mysteriously. Entered people dressed in white attacking citizens and not arrested by police. Entered dead bodies that were probably “被自殺 (being suicided)”.

Entered a city falling into the hands of tyrants next to your door, and you didn’t know how to help. You didn’t know what to do with yourself with your clean and spare hands. You were so far away from the frontline, you were angry and helpless and hopeless for that.

It was the first time I witnessed, first-hand, how the Chinese government directed the discussion online, so that it seemed as if there were random mobs who were disturbing the peace of Hong Kong and possibly taking money or being trained by US.  “Bullshit. Would there still be so many kids hurt on street if we have received any kinds of training for this?“  Of course, the majority of Chinese people inland wouldn’t hear that. Hong Kong is a former colony. Any calls of outrage toward the present government must be made by disillusioned young people who were unaware of colonization and imperialism. 

That was why I took refugee in Good Omens. I needed to run some where to stop myself from scratching myself to blood. I needed to some works for these clean and spare hands to do so that they wouldn’t pick up something destructive, such as a knife.

If the PJOverse fandom had felt the best place on earth, well, the Good Omens fandom lifted me into paradise. 

I’ve never seen so much kindness being showed under one tag. The creators and actors were all kind and interacted with the fans in their own ways. We were encouraged to do everything, anything, to build art with it however we liked. We as fans were recognized. We were seen. We were ... cared for. It was overwhelming, in a good way.  For that, I would be forever thankful to Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett and Michael Sheen and so many others in the production. I would be forever thankful to artists who liberated body types and freed the ties between gender expression and genitals. I would be forever thankful for the fantastic creators out there.

Would it seem as if I’ve only cherished the mutuals I met in Good Omens fandom? It wasn’t my intention. There are friends I keep in touch long after I fell out of love with APH. There are mutuals I got to know through solangelo and I feel, I hope that we are friends. Everyone who has chat with me I do my best to remember. (Though I do left conversation in weird places, become so ashamed of my incompetency that I do not continue them.)

What I’m trying to say is, as good as the solangelo fandom was, I still ran into biphobic posts here and there. It was only once or twice – but it was a constant reminder that being bisexual didn’t seem “valid” to some of the other LGBTQ+ members out there. Who cares what cis-gendered, heteronormative people said? Bullets that shot from friendly fire hurt the worst.

Besides, with a large and vibrant fandom like Good Omens, it’s easier to feel less alone and more… seen.

Damn right. Even after writing more that 5000 words in English it is still so easy to fall back into the comfortable nest of mother tongue. I can read simplified Chinese characters as well as the traditional Chinese characters I grow up using. There probably will never be getting the accent right but soundlessly devouring words in front of a screen? I excel at that.

That was what’s happening when the days rolled into January, 2020. I flew to US as an exchange student and exchanged long letters with a young Chinese woman I met in Good Omens fandom. I’ve never felt so alone in life. English as in creative writing has never come more naturally for me. The words burst in my head and arranged themselves freely on screen or on papers. I’ve never felt more hopeful about my writing ability.

The days rolled into March, 2020.

The first time my mom told me to come home over home, I laughed. The second time, I frowned. Before she pleaded me for the third time, I had grabbed a ticket.

I hadn’t imagined the disease plaguing China and its neighboring countries would affect the whole world.

You lived the rest of the story. I fled back to Taiwan.

 That was where Doctor Who came in. Or David Tennant. Such a strange time. For fourteen days I was the only living human in the house. I watched Casanova – or was it later? Hamlet definitely came before that. Then I could live with my family again. I handed in my homework and wrote in a different language than the people around me were speaking. My parents were working. My little brother was in school. When there was no one to talk to me I either read or watch Doctor Who to pass the time. I fell for Thirteen. I fell for twissy. Falling fast and hard and completely won over by their glamour.

I started internship. There were some small breaks where I could catch an episode or half, but never as much time as before. I dipped into fandom wiki and found that no matter how much research I did, there would always be details I overlooked simply because I could not afford hours watching all the episodes. No matter how hard I squeezed my schedule for time, no matter how much I devoted myself to the series, it would never be enough.

So I gave up, and let it go. For the first time in quite a while, I willingly gave up something for the simple reason of “I want to live a more comfortable life”.

 Came summer. Damp air combined with biting heat and piles after piles of biochemical terms made life agonizing. An ordinary kind of pre-pandemic “agonizing” which felt like a luxury in a world that was ending.

Hong Kong fell.

It was bound to happen. Once I heard protestors fought their way into the legislature I knew, for almost an year I knew, nothing good would come out of this. CCP would never allow its subjects acting out of hand. With such open despise to the authority, CCP would take nothing but a full conquest at the end of it.

See where we are now. As long as you’re “interfering” the political climate “inside” China, it doesn't matter which nationality you hold or where you were or how long it has been since you made the statement. “According to the law”, China can come for you. No, better, it can tell your country to hand you over. What a clever empire. What a graceful empire.

What a horrifying empire.

With the news I spiraled down fast. I kept away from the young Chinese woman I was exchanging letters with, I kept away from any kinds of Chinese social media, and the worst of all, I kept away from Good Omens, for it was sweet and kind and hopeful, for it reminded me of a time where fighting seemed to make a difference. I was empty and exhausted and a husk. Something must come out to fill the void. Someone needed to paint me in colors so that the world wouldn’t notice I was fading away.

I was surprised at who took the brush.

 After ten years, the first man I ever have a crush on strolled back into my life.

He was over thirty, but I always pictured him in his early twenties. Dark hair, eyes of grey or silvery blue. Loud laughter that sounded like a bark. Swift and elegant. Intelligent. Prideful. Stubborn. I embraced him as I’ve done ten years ago as a little child.

When I looked past him, I saw someone else.

Worn, weathered, with wry humor. Attentive and considerate. Tortured by the world yet never stop giving out kindness. Countless scars. Grey hair unfitting to his age. I didn’t pay him much attention ten years ago. This time, I looked.

Let me introduce you Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, my very first crush and the man who is too much like my last crush.

 2020, a month before Fall semester started, I trekked cautiously, timidly back into Harry Potter fandom.

The fandom of August 2020 was very different from fandom of 2010. The lack of author, for one – it became mandatory to denounce the author’s transphobic statement and other bigotry setting. I’m glad that everyone is doing their best to make it a friendly place for minority groups. Though I’m afraid, by making it a white or black situation with short statements and no discussion, it wouldn’t really help people understand why she is wrong in this. However irrefutable the author’s guilt seems to us, it is not something obvious to those who are unfamiliar with the subjects.

But it does feel good to see blogs and fics with the introduction such as “If you support the author’s transphobic bullshit this place does not welcome you”. It feels reliving.

The second was, I found the type of work I’m actively pursuing changed.

Back when I was young – when I was so little I didn’t even know what the word “fandom” meant – I read Character x OFC and some M x M. During the APH period I read an alarming amount of M x M and countless historical AU. When digging through solangelo, beside the canon divergence stories, simple AU like coffee shop grabbed my attention. Coming out stories were my comforts. The best of Good Omens fics were either in canon verse discussing desires, bravery, humanity and mortality, or setting in an AU with the promise of sweet, fluffy endings. Doctor Who almost always focused on Time and Space. Love was twisted and so often tainted by anger. Monster and god were very alike.

I came a full circle back to the Marauder era, and found myself not looking for heroes, but for young fighters struggling desperately in a seemingly hopeless war. I looked for people who were frightened but never, never ever going down without a fight.

I used to find characters and events unfolding in foreign places, now I want  characters who are close to what I am or what I want to be.

---

So, that’s it, my grand journey through multiple fandoms and basically a journey of self-discovery. It’s messy, sometimes painful, but always with so much joy blooming along the way.

Something doesn’t change. I’m still obsessed with words. I’m still a sucker for happy ending. I’m still wishing someone will come and love me the way I need to be loved.

Something does. I stop imagining that some magical power will come into my life and solve everything. I stop looking for others to save me from myself. I start believing that though wounds hurt, some of them do teach us to be a better person.

Long ago, I saw my friends and I as rabbits, without proper weapons to defend ourselves. That wouldn’t do. I thought. For my friends I’ll grow into a snake with fangs to protect them. Maybe I have grown into a snake. Maybe I haven’t. But I do hope I won’t stop fighting for those I love, with those I love.

I hope I won’t give up.

[rcrp-ontario-archive]

“Excuse me New World, I’m afraid you brought me the wrong offspring! I ordered an extra large colony with beefy arms; this here, this is a talking fishbone!”

Hunter, about her, Arthur, and Alfred

[alice-persephone]

APH Little Stories # 6: Sharing memories with Canada.

(England is the new tutor of little Canada. Thirteen Colonies [USA] is showing his stuff to his new "brother")

USA: So, Canada, was France a good brother?

Canada: He was more a père than a frère.

USA: So, England and I are your first brothers?

Canada: (Remembering Sweden, Norway, Portugal, Netherlands) No, you're my fifth and sixth...

USA: (?)

[usukdorkfanfics]

Right Path

CARDVERSE USUK

So, it’s been a month since I last posted a fic and for some reason I’ve been getting a lot of followers in the past few weeks, so it seems only fair to post something to let you guys know that no, I am not dead. This is also a fic for @aph-1776, a birthday gift! I actually had a lucid dream about UsUk and that slightly freaked me out but as soon as I woke up I wrote down everything I could remember from it. I hope you enjoy, here it is! Ps. To those asks that sent in their requests, I promise I’ll get to them really soon! 

The King and Queen of Spades were a strange couple indeed. It was a known fact that the King and Queen were practically soulmates, meant for each other. The reason as to why they were considered a strange couple was because, well, they didn’t act like one at all. No one could doubt that there was love there but, it was more of a friendly love, not the passionate one that every King and Queen should show. There was also the fact that they have yet to consummate their marriage, and it’s been over two years since their coronations.

 King Alfred and Queen Yao both knew, even if they tend to ignore it, that they were a strange couple. They went on dates, danced till their feet hurt, went star gazing, etc. hell, they even cuddled. They did everything they could just to make them seem less strange. Despite their efforts, it never gave the romantic vibe that they wanted. 

Although it didn’t bother the kingdom of Spades as much as it should, it bothered the rulers a lot. It wasn’t normal. Until of course, it happened. 

Arthur had worked his entire life in the castle. He was born there but he still talked like he was from the English colony in northern Spades, probably because his mother was from there and even after moving to the capital she still had it with her. In exchange for food and shelter he was supposed to work, not that he minded of course. He was in charge of tending the Royal Garden and he couldn’t be happier. 

That was a lie.

He could be happier—should be happier. He knew it deep inside him. It was a nagging feeling he’s always had with him every since he turned thirteen. And even now, when he was a young twenty-one year old man, he could still feel it.

Arthur loved watering the flower beds but he also hated it, it made his mind wander the way it was currently doing. 

Suddenly, he felt a shadow behind him. Arthur instinctively turned around as fast as he could and kicked the shadow on the side, causing it to groan in pain. It took a second for Arthur to realize what he did - he has never done that before in his life - and to whom. 

“Argh—I just wanted to know what flowers were those! Was it really necessary to kick me?!” 

Crap.

He kicked the King of Spades, Alfred F. Jones.

Oh, he was so dead. 

The poor gardener was having a mental breakdown, he didn’t know what to do. In the end, he dropped on his knees next to the king and did the only thing his mind was yelling at him to do. Apologize. Without looking at the King and with a very embarrassed look on his face, he said, “Your Majesty I am so sorry—I swear I don’t understand why I did that! I know that it doesn’t make sense but I swear it was unintentional—!”

His rambling was suddenly stopped by the most beautiful laugh he had ever heard in the short span of his life. He looked up and saw the sky in the man's eyes, how was that even possible was beyond Arthur. 

“Don’t beat yourself for it, although for a guy so small like you, you sure pack a punch or in your case kick.” 

Bless this man. 

Here he was on the floor, probably with a mean bruise, laughing and blinding Arthur with his smile, but most importantly he was sparing Arthur’s life. It only seemed fair for Arthur to return the smile.

“So will you tell me what flowers are those or do you have to kick me on my other side to give me the answer?” He didn’t mean any harm by that last bit if the smirk he was wearing on his devastatingly handsome—ahem, on his face was anything to go by. 

“Certainly your Majesty—” “Please, just Alfred.” Arthur paused for a moment, unsure of whether he should call his King by his first name. In the end, he decided to just obey. “ Alright, Alfred. These are hydrangeas.” 

“They’re really beautiful.”

Arthur’s chest swelled with pride, he loved it when the flowers in which he poured his soul and time in were complimented. 

“Thank you, Alfred. I appreciate it.” Arthur smiled at Alfred, finally feeling more relaxed and less threatened by the monarch.  

“Yeah, I can really tell that you take good care of them, erm... what’s your name?”

“Kirkland, Arthur Kirkland. I’m the Royal Gardener.” 

“Well, it’s a pleasure to meetcha Artie!”

Now, the only time one could hear Arthur’s full on accent was when he was either completely smashed or very flustered, it was something he couldn’t help.

He sputtered, “My name is not ‘Artie’ you sodding little—” Arthur took a deep breath and let it out slowly, “Please  Alfred, call me by my name.” 

The King's laughter filled the garden yet again. “Wow! What was that about? Are you from the colonies or something?” 

“Yes, yes I am. I would appreciate it if you didn’t make fun of me for it.”

“Make fun of you? Why would I do that? I thought it was cute!” With that declaration, they both couldn’t help but blush a little. 

And this was only the beginning of their meetings.

After their first meeting in the garden, Alfred managed to bump into Arthur more often, at first it was just by coincidence but then he realized that he wanted to spend more time with the small gardener. It scared Alfred at first, he made himself believe that the only one for him was Yao, but in the end he concluded that he just wanted to make Arthur his friend and the only reason as to why he felt nervous or anxious around Arthur was because he didn’t have many friends and was slightly embarrassed. Definitely, it was just that. 

As the months went by, the became closer and closer. It amazed Alfred how compatible he and Arthur were. Alfred felt at ease when he strolled down the garden next to Arthur. Or when they met during the night to stargaze. 

It terrified Alfred but he couldn’t get away from Arthur.

Alfred and Arthur were in fact soulmates, hence the reason as to why they were compatible. Which meant that Arthur was actually the real Queen.

The reason as to why no one seems to know the truth is because the Parliament made everyone who knew about their true identities forget and then made Alfred and Yao drink a love potion that only seemed to work to some extent. 

The Parliament didn’t want Arthur as their Queen because of his low birthplace, being from the English colonies and all, they thought that having him on the throne would bring Spade to its doom. So when Arthur turned thirteen, they erased his memories and sent him to the servants. 

They wanted to keep and eye on him so they had a Knight, called Aaron, follow him and observe his every move from afar. 

Aaron was under the belief that he was Arthur’s true love and that no one knew him better than he did. That made him come up with the conclusion that he was the real King and Alfred the fake one. Watching Arthur and Alfred get closer and closer only served to fuel his horrible thoughts on Alfred, which then lead to the tragic event that everyone in Spade would know in the future. 

It happened on a normal day, like any other sunny day in Spades. Arthur and Alfred were laying on the grass, taking in the sun and just enjoying the each others company. Despite knowing each other for over 4 months neither had made a move. It was understandable, they felt for some reason confused about their feelings. 

Alfred held himself up with his elbows and turned to look at the laying figure next to him. “Artie I was wondering if you’d like to see the fireworks during today’s festival?”

Arthur opened his eyes and turned to look at Alfred, “Why are you asking me? Aren’t you supposed to go with the Queen?” he tried to sound as less jealous as possible and he failed miserably. 

“Yeah but... Yao never liked those so we never went to see them. I’ve always wanted to go and see them but I never had someone to go with so... will you please go with me?” 

Ah, there it was. The signature puppy-eyes the King was famous for. 

He sighed and gave in, “Fine, yes I’ll go with you to the festival just stop with that look.” 

It would always amaze the gardener how fast Alfred could change from pouting to smiling as bright as the sun in 0.2 seconds flat. It truly was something amazing. 

However, their peace was short-lived since Arthur saw a figure approaching rapidly from behind Alfred. Arthur followed his instincts and pushed Alfred out of the way, causing him to take the blow instead.

The sword pierced right through his shoulder. It burned, it hurt, it stung, it did a lot of things but Arthur would do it again if he had to.

The world was turning black at an alarmingly fast pace, he could hear Alfred as if he was far away and he could see, albeit with some difficulty, Alfred fighting the strange figure.

And then everything went black.

When he woke up, Arthur felt as if he had a hangover. Everything was slightly blurry and his shoulder hurt like a bitch. He wasn’t given time to even think where he was when he was suddenly being embraced by a pair of strong arms.

“I’m so glad that you’re okay...” whispered the owner of the arms.

It was Alfred, who then proceeded to kiss Arthur the way he’d always wanted to since he saw the small man watering the flowers with a beautiful smile on his face.

Arthur was too shocked to even comprehend that was happening but he welcomed it nonetheless. After begging Alfred to let him breathe he demanded the King to explain what was going on, he soon found out just what he missed. 

Turns out that he’s the true Queen of Spades and that Yao was actually the Jack. Alfred explained that he fixed things up with Yao and they were both fine with each other. He also told Arthur the truth about their Parliament, and while Alfred was telling the story Arthur felt his memories going back to their original state. Alfred informed him that the person who planned to attack Alfred was a Knight called Aaron, a lackey from the Parliament. Those involved with the plan were executed. 

As it turns out, Arthur and Yao get along marvelously and he and Alfred acted like a true Spadian couple should. All three of them brought Spades to their Golden Age and towards the right path.

Well then. Im sure this isn’t what anyone was expecting I’m sure... Anyway! I hope you liked it? 

[naehja]

Brotherly Bond

[ask-alaska-and-hawaii]

Somebody Broke America's Coffee Machine

*Here we find a peeved American and his thirteen children standing around a broken machine*

America: So...Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Georgia: ...I did, I-

America: No, no you didn't. Pennsylvania?

Pennsylvania: Hey, don't look at me like that. Look at Del.

Delaware: What?! I didn't break it.

Pennsylvania: Huh. That's weird. Then how did you know it was broken?

Delaware: Because it's sitting in front of us and it's broken.

Pennsylvania: Hm...Suspicious.

Delaware: No, it's not.

Maryland: If it matters, probably not, but I saw Ginny was the last one to use it.

Virginia: Liar! I don't even drink that crap.

Maryland: Then why were you over there in the first place?

Virginia: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that Mary!

Georgia: All right, let’s not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Daddy.

America: No! Who broke it?!

New York: ....Jersey's been awfully quiet.

New Jersey: REALLY!?

New York: YEAH REALLY!

*And everybody then proceed to attempt fratricide*

Meanwhile...

New Hampshire: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

[naehja]

Babies

[naehja]

Mother/Father England and his baby America

[naehja]

Chibi America.  Hetalia